#Kai gets to be morally grey as a treat

[squib-2006]

I have an idea

An au where Kai never shows up to the chens noodle house meeting cuz he was mad at what Lloyd said and instead ends up going deeper into ninjagos crime scene.

* Kai gets pissed at Lloyd callling him selfish and ends up getting really drunk and misses the meeting with Lloyd jay and Cole

* On his way back he accidentally falls into one of the canals and almost drowns. He manages to get out but a passer by recognizes him and saw him fall in but didn’t see him come back up

* Kai gets back to where ever he’s staying and promptly passes out for like three days

* The person that saw him fall in calls the cops and they assume Kai drowned and begin searching for his body

* Lloyd and the others at this point are already at chen’s island.

* Nya gets a call from the police about Kai and she like them assumes he drowned.

* She begins looking for Lloyd and the others to tell them that Kai’s gone then gets wrapped up in all the Chen stuff

* Kai wakes up to find that he’s on the news for being dead

* He decides to take advantage of this and decides to just go by shogun now

* He also decides to “pretend” to be female cuz he’s to recognizable no ther reason totalyyyy (yes this is a transfem Kai au cuz I do what I want)

* Meanwhile with the ninja when they catch up with Nya they learn that Kai’s dead and are very upset about it

* Chen also fails in his plans because he doesn’t have all the elements and when he try’s to use the spell the staff explodes killing him & clouce

* Skylor is arrested and put into kryptarium for working with her dad (this is very important I promise)

* Lloyd feels really bad about Kai because the last time they spoke he said really mean stuff and he wonders if Kai fell in somehow related to that.

* Meanwhile Kai begins making connections in the crime sphere in ninjago. She wears a disguise (a mask, dress large jacket and other clothing to hide her identity) and grows a reputation for herself

* She eventually starts to notice how shitty life is for lower class citizens of ninjago city and how the criminals and the upper class take advantage of that.

* She starts helping these people (mainly orphans) and creates a safe haven for them where all of them can live safely under her protection.

* She amasses a following for the people she helped + some criminals who have kinda changed their ways and they become a pretty big gang in ninjago city (I don’t have a name for this yet)

* With the ninja morro happens but garmadon takes the place of Kai in it cuz he never got banished (just imagine morro got let out by clouse on accident cuz he still attempted to banish garm but failed) and everything is basically the same up until they confront ronin

* Back with Kai a few months before Lloyd gets possessed she ran into a girl on the street named Natalie. Natalie claims to be an orphan and Kai does what she normally does when she finds a poor starving orphan on the street, she scoops her up and brings her back to her shelter (I don’t have a name for this yet either)

* Turns out Natalie is actually ronins daughter. She used to live with her parents in Styx (ronin was still doing ronin stuff so he was constantly gone all the time and she mainly lived with her mom) until one day ronin refused to pay soul archer his debt and souls archer went after his family. Nat’s mom ends up sacrificing her self to protect nat and nat runs away after. She ends up in ninjago city all alone.

* Kai after learning this decides to go and have a chat with ronin (because no one hurts her kids the people under her protection) and she runs into the ninja + garm when she goes to confront ronin (it’s when the ninja try and steal the scroll much to garms dismay because he’s still trying to be good)

* She panics but is slightly relieved when non of the ninja recognizes her (definitely helps that she’s wearing a mask and feminine clothes) ronin does tho due to his connections and questions her on why she’s here

* She doesn’t speak and just attacks him (she’s too worried the ninja will recognize her voice and she thinks that they won’t agree with what she’s doing and will be mad at her)

* So chaos ensues and Kai ends up leaving once she realizes Lloyd’s been possessed by a ghost and decides to dip to not interfere with the ninja’s mission anymore

* The season goes on as planned but the ninja now know who “shogun” is thanks to ronin. Lloyds a bit suspicious because of Kai’s red shogun name but guesses that maybe she was inspired by Kai or it’s just a coincidence.

* When Kai gets back she learns that some of her group members got arrested while trying to stop a fight between two other groups and decides to brake them out of kryptarium

* Cue skylors entrance

* Skylor manages to try and escape in the chaos of Kai’s brake in and almost escapes but is cornered by some guards

* Kai who’s crawling through the vents to get out while her group members have already escaped stops when she sees skylor getting cornered. Cue the love at first sight thing and she decides to help Skylor escape cuz she’s so pretty

* Skylor accepts Kai’s help and they escape and Kai brings her to her shelter

* Skylor has had a lot of time to reflect on her self during her imprisonment and is now glad her dad died cuz she really hated being evil

* Kai and Skylor grow closer together as Skylor joins the group and eventually Kai confesses her true identity cuz she trusts Skylor

* Skylor is confused at first because the ninja put her in prison and evreything but is ok with it because of how different Kai is

* Skylor is transfem in this au too! She she helps Kai realize that she’s not pretending to be a girl and helps her except herself

* They eventually form a romantic bond and skylor takes up a new persona to work under (I don’t have a name for it yet) to match Kai’s shogun persona

That’s all I have for now but this was all rattling around in my brain and I had to write it down

Other important stuffs

* Kai’s more morally grey in this au

* She kinda becomes similar to Jason Todd in the way she acts with her shogun persona

* She basically unofficially adopts all the orphan kids she lets stay in her shelter they all call her big sis sho

* In her group she has her close lieutenants (all ocs that I’m still thinking about names for) including skylor as her right hand woman

* She is a wanted criminal because she has broken some laws

* She doesn’t really use her powers or spinjitzu unless it’s really dire circumstances cuz it could be trailed back to her life as a ninja

* She’s kinda scared of seeing her the ninja again because she feels like she’s betrayed everything they stand for by being morally grey and doing borderline bad things

Feel free to ask me questions about this au (might help me come up with more ideas for it)

#ninjago #lego ninjago #kai ninjago #ninjago kai #ninjago au #kai jiang #kai smith #skylor chen #skylor ninjago #transfem Kai #crime lord Kai au #kai <3 #I apologize for any spelling mistakes I suck at spelling crap dispite English being my first language #Kai gets to be morally grey as a treat #I’m gunna be working on my ocs for this tho #I have never been more attracted to an au idea besides this one #most of my au’s rot in my brain or my notes app but this one was too good not to yap about

[enavstars]

Time for Aus :D

(Poster/ desings are not final)

Details:

Eclipse:

Takes place after crystallized, the ninja have recovered their powers and got back to the status quo.

Rumors start spreading on the Internet that Kai is actually useless because he's never defeated a supervillain on his own. Kai gets insecure about his worth to the rest of the team, acting more and more rashly out of the need to prove himself. However, everyone else thinks he's overreacting for attention, so in a mission with Lloyd and Nya, after trying too hard and messing up, they snap at him, thinking he just wants to regain his popularity disregarding people's safety.

Much later, Kai is injured on a solo mission and is saved by a mysterious woman (the villain) who secretly aims to manipulate him to turn against the ninja and Ninjago as a whole, taking advantage on his past hardships as a child and his current mixed feelings towards them. She uses dark magic (sort of like Clause) to take and amplify what little is left of the corruption from Chen's elements staff into a mask, to slowly make his own thoughts turn against them all, eroding him from inside out.

At first she convinces him to become a kind of vigilante, killing criminals who might have used him in the past under said mask as Akatora ("Red Tiger"), steadily growing more corrupted.

Once the ninja discover Akatora's true identity, they believe he's being forced to betray them and try to "save" him, which only angers Kai further for not realizing how badly they've treated him.

But when they realize that they're at fault, the team splits in two: Cole, Jay and Pixal can't see a way of saving Kai on time before he self-destructs and takes the entire city down with him; while Lloyd, Nya and Zane try to get him back at all costs.

At first, the villain didn't care which elemental master to use to get the ninja to destroy the city. But upon finding out more about Kai's past, she decides the Ninja are no good for him and wants to "save" him, to get him out of that toxic environment. She even confronts them more than once after taking him under her wing. However, later on she changes her mind...

I have many more details but this is all I'll say for now. I want to make it a realistic and morally grey season where neither the ninja nor Kai are the villain, because the ninja do love Kai, they just have to show it. Also Kai's corruption is going to be slow where you don't really know how of it is Kai's true intentions.

On the road:

This AU is set years after Kai and Nya's parent's disappearence. Despite still living at the blacksmith off Kai's odd jobs, the siblings are fairly neglected by the townspeople of Ignacia. After getting seriously beat up in a fight with some kids who had been passive-agressively bullying Kai for years, they go a little too far by almost killing him and threatening to do the same to Nya. Kai is forced to abandon the hope of their parents ever returning and leaves for Ninjago City with Nya, hoping for a better life.

After travelling for a while they stumble across Ronin. They somehow convince him to take them in for a while in his rudimentary shed and to teach Kai how to hunt and be more self-sufficient for the journey. In the meantime, Nya shows off her handiwork, making toys off scraps for Ronin to sell as thanks. When they decide to part ways, Ronin gives them a map, setting them on the right direction (he's no babysitter, but hey, he actually cared).

Days later, Nya finds a hungry and weary Lloyd along the way, lost after escaping Darkleys and looking for his uncle Wu. After some convincing from Nya, they agree to take him in and start travelling together, eventually bonding and becoming a found family.

The Au is mostly about their (fun) little adventures and Kai being an overstressed mom trying to keep their younger siblings alive and relatively out of trouble (but don't worry, he's actually enjoying it).

In the end, after having taken their shot in Ninjago, they find Wu and are taken in at the monastery. Yes, Wu is actually a good uncle here. They deserve it. Especially Kai.

Kai is 13, Nya 11 and Lloyd 9 (older than canon, no tomorrow's tea)

Feel free to ask any questions about the aus.

#ninjago #ninjago kai #kai smith #kai jiang #ninjago nya #nya smith #nya jiang #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #I love the contrast between the 2 #one is super angsty #and the other one is fluff #(there's going to be a bit of angst in the second one too tho) #rgb siblings #ninjago eclipse au #ninjago on the road au

[lausterdomyamong]

HAIKYUU BOY MAFIA AU

note: this is from all of the results from my haikyuu mafia quiz, this is about who they are and how he met you. I’m so embarrassed by my writing but yeah, I’m already here so here we go <3

Characters included: Kita, Atsumu, Osamu, Suna, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Mattsun, Makki, Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Sakusa <3

The quiz

Kita Shinsuke: Gather the scattered group of yakuza to be one since his young age, and reign as the leader since then. his underlings accidentally mistaken you for another 'girl' and bring you back to the headquarters. You're ordered to strip and let them appraise your worth- luckily, Kita notices the mistake. despite being a yakuza and is doing something horrendous, he has a moral code. he promises to make it up to you. maybe it's a part of his plan from the very start- but hey, every mistake can be made.

Miya Atsumu: 'dealer' they say. yeah, atsumu is a dealer on everything. drugs, gambling, and many more. to be frank, he's very creative and heretical. kita almost wants to disown him, only if he's the one that keeps inarizaki flourishing with his wit. your soon-to-be-ex just lost a great amount of money to his hand, so they try to steal your money- fortunately, atsumu sure is accidentally to be there and help you out, 'dealing' with your ex and swoop his hand around your figure, comforting you and offer you a better life! but yeah, maybe he's planning this all along :/

Miya Osamu: unlike his twins, he uses his ability in the killing field. osamu is expressionless, he's killing someone without moving a single muscle on his face. oh, maybe he's heartless, he can't feel a thing even someone is slaughtered before his eyes! but wrong. osamu has himself wrapped around someone's fingers without himself knowing. your smile, your manner, your whole being. he almost feels shame that he kill people for money and you're completely standing on the other side of the world, pure and typical. this man sure will protect you from afar, he will make sure no one will ever fuck with you. he's the hitman of inarizaki after all.

Suna Rintarou: he's the center of all news and stories. this man's probably a walking yellow book, he knows everything and will use every last bit of that to inarizaki's benefit. Suna is always by Kita's side, he's also the leader's trusted interpreter. even he plays such an important role, no one really sees him in flesh except for inarizaki's members. he's always inside the headquarters, living with you. of course, he has to protect you by bringing you in, makes you become a part of his clan. the farther you are away from him, the higher risk you'll take to survive.

Oikawa Tooru: don't let the pretty face tricks you, or you may have bitten off more than you can chew. he's the leader of 'seijoh' after all. they're well-known for their ruthless and immoral deeds, there's no way the leader would be just a simple smiley, sweet guy. many gangs have been fallen and destroyed by him because they underestimate Oikawa, and overestimate themselves. there are two ways to survive ① make his gang money and/or ② become someone special in his heart. but worry not, you may conquer the second option already.

Iwaizumi Hajime: he's not the morally sane one, sorry. Imaizumi isn't a good guy in lion's den, he's part of the lion pride, and being the strongest one himself. even so, he's still less rough and more merciful when it comes to working- but still, he's in the dark grey area. you may accidentally pique his interest. fortunately, he would treat you like a princess and spoiled you rotten. but unfortunately, if you're no longer interesting, he may leave you on your own. better keep him lit up or being a partner in crime, kay?

Matsukawa Issei: the former forensic technician at a local hospital, now the pathologist of seijoh. he's working with the dead more than the living ones. his smile is always painted with a dangerous impression. mattsun may seem so laid back and friendly at times, but he's not someone you could easily screw up. he's clever, skilled, and experienced. the last person that tries to meddle with seijoh has found dead without an actual cause. you just happen to be a one-night-stand that he's really hooked. and he does not hesitate to tell you every secret seijoh has to trapped you in his crew forever. because no outsider would make it out alive knowing their secrets :D

Hanamaki Takahiro: oikawa's trusted fund, trusted friend, and trusted confidence man. he's tricking people into fake lies, gaining their trust, then their money, and run away, leaving them bankrupt. he somehow only tricks the authorities (which is a great threat for seijoh) but never the commoners. don't get me wrong, he's still as nasty and dangerous as any other seijoh member, but he just thinks that it's more worthwhile. makki may just think you're practicable so he lures you in and makes you be a part of his big scheming plan. once you do, you can't run away anymore. you're sticking with him forever, good luck.

Bokuto Koutarou: he's somehow bright and kind- you've mistaken him for a normal authority. but oh, he's one of the most dangerous fellows out there. he may come off as someone kind and enthusiastic, but trust me, he's no different from other mafia bosses. even more primal. he still kills someone by himself, with the widest, scariest grin. bokuto may seem like someone with a simple mind, but when he's falling in love, he falls deep. he might need to learn how to establish a relationship first, but this man takes you in right after he realizes you're the one anyway <3

Akaashi Keiji: calm, serene, and stoical just like a rain forest. with bokuto, he can make fukurodani bigger than any other generations before him. he's smart, composed, and knows everything. without him, this clan would be infirm and even more barbaric. he works his ass off every time this clan is in a problem as if his life depends on fukurodani's prosperity. his mind is so tired, but he pledged to the god already, he would make fukurodani go far, stopping mid-work wouldn't be appreciated. until he met you, your smile, your greeting, it makes his tired-out soul light up once more.

Kuroo Tetsurou: working under fukurodani's command, still, stand above all. he's as powerful as the boss himself. With a smile, he would talk his way until the negotiator blew it. his mouth is truly a weapon. with a word or two, he can get what fukurodani wants. he's on seijoh's 'beware on sight' list. really a schemed man. he would meet you at one of the auction that only authorities can join, he sees you beside a gross old man. look at your face, your expression; you do not want to be here. so he swoops in and talks his way until he can separate you from the said man, and abuse his power as underboss of fukurodani to keep you with him instead :)

Sakusa Kiyoomi: with his presence alone, you can tell how much power this man held. he's so young, has a bright future ahead, and yet- choose to become the darkest part of this society. he's inherited his father's legacy and name, and he runs everything like his father always did. despite being so young, he can control every part of the gang so perfectly. frankly, he wouldn't even bat an eye on you, only if his underlings did something he forbid with you, in front of everyone in the party. the punishment is one thing, but your tears that already shed make him feels something stirring inside.

#haikyuu #my writing #quiz #haikyuu quiz #haikyuu x reader #kita x reader #suna x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #matsukawa x reader #hanamaki x reader #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #kuroo x reader #sakusa x reader #mafia au #yakuza au

[wri0thesley]

omg wait no hold on I just requested overhaul but then I remembered your overhaul thirst post about him pulling a "curing hysteria~" as an excuse and thought I'd request something along that vibe (no oun intended). I think that'd fall under orgasm control, overstim? (hope this is okay!)

hysteria antidote - overhaul x fem!reader (4k)

seeing nothing but the same four walls every day of your life is playing havoc with your brain. overhaul thinks perhaps you're suffering from hysteria. he has the perfect cure for that.

cw: not sfw/minors dni. dark content!!! dubious/non-consent. captive reader. talk of death, blood, etc. medical kink, gloves, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm control. misogyny. mentions of pregnancy/breeding. afab reader, fem pronouns.

[a/n: idk the internet said the 28th of may was his birthday so consider this both a birthday fic and a fic to celebrate 6k followers, sorry that i am gross and horrible but tbh im having a great time <3]

You really don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to be going out of your mind.

Since the Boss was taken ill, and Kai – Overhaul, you remind yourself, though he’s always just a little less sharp with you when you trip over the new name than he is with anyone else – took over leadership of the Shie Hassaikai, you’ve been pretty much stuck indoors.

Considering that you’re pretty sure he only has fond feelings towards maybe three people in the entire world, including you, you guess you ought to feel special about it – but all it actually does is make you feel like a trapped bird, caged and restless. It doesn’t help that all of the other members of the organisation have started being weird around you; people who you’ve known most of your adult life, people who you’ve worked beside and killed beside and done other horrible things beside (for the good of the organisation, of course)--

But now, they look at you like you might break at any moment. They treat you like an invalid. Their brows crease when they see you out and about, quietly murmuring; “Shouldn’t you still be in your room?”, avoiding touching you at all costs. There’s a kind of fear in their eyes, that they’re going to be told off for even speaking to you, that they’re afraid of being caught close to you.

And you know exactly who’s to blame for that.

You’d tried to speak to him about it, once; you’d thought that perhaps he might be amenable to your desire to do something to help the Shie Hassaikai. He’s always wanted to restore them to their former glory, after all! But after you’d let out your little impassioned tirade, his eyebrows had creased over the bird-mask.

“You don’t sound well,” he’d said to you. “Go back to your room. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

You had missed, at the time, that he hadn’t said ‘we’ll talk about it later’. He’d just said ‘I’ll’. When he had come, that is how it had been; the reassurance that he was keeping you safe. That he didn’t want you to be tainted. That he was keeping you well.

Your quirklessness has never been an issue before, but it certainly hasn’t been a boon. Still, for Kai--

“It’s disgusting,” he’d said, agitated by the discussion. You’d stared at his hands, thinking about the destructive power he himself wielded. “Quirks are a curse, and you not having one is just proof you’re not infected.” He’d looked up, golden eyes piercing directly into yours. “I’m going to keep you perfect.”

Overhaul is not a doctor, for all of his talk about illness and disease and plague. You think he could have used his quirk for something meaningful, once; but you also know that his burning curiousity, his disgust of anyone who deems tainted, his utter lack of morality . . . those are all things that would not have been welcomed in the medical profession. So instead, he deals in needles and pills and altering drugs in the underground labyrinth of the compound.

Sterile rooms, with examination tables and scalpels and impersonal, silver-grey equipment. Pill boxes that rattle when he passes them to you and tells you to take three of those a day, one of those, that one has to be taken to with food--

The idea that you won’t take them doesn’t enter his head, and though he has never . . . overhauled someone in front of you, you have walked past other members of the organisation mopping and disinfecting blood and gristle from sterile flooring.

It is better to go along with him, so you take the supplements and the pills and submit to the way he grabs your chin in gloved hands on the doctor’s chair, tipping your face up to shine a light into your eyes and watch your pupils dilate. But inside, you are screaming.

You’re not made to be locked in one room, occasionally allowed out to pace the hallways of the upstairs – never the underground ones, not any more – with restless footsteps and your muscles fizzing with desire to taste fresh air. You’re not made to stare at the same walls and breathe the purified air and think about how empty the compound is, now that Overhaul is in charge of everything--

(Too many knick-knacks attract dust. Pollen allergies act up, if there are too many plants, and he hates hearing people sneeze. Furniture should be easily movable and barren, to assist in the twice-daily cleanings of every room that people walk through.)

But it’s getting too much for you. Suffocating. You feel like you’re choking on air all of the time; you take the pills, because the thought of what he could do to you is terrifying, but sometimes you wonder if perhaps it would be better if you didn’t.

You’d woken up that morning to the sound of rain hitting the high windows in your bedroom, and you had longed to go outside in your thin nightwear and spread your arms and taste the air, smell the rain, feel it hit your body in fat droplets. Your entire being had ached. You’d tried to distract yourself, with what little there was in the barren prison cell that you called a bedroom – but when the door opened at four thirty exactly, and Kai had stood there with his face as impassive as ever, you had not been able to stop yourself.

Hand fastening around his upper arm (you shouldn’t touch him, you know you shouldn’t, but the same four walls are getting to you), you’d begged him;

“I want to go outside.”

If anyone else had touched him like that, they would already be splattered against the walls and floor. But all you get is a furrow of his eyebrows, careful fingers (gloved, of course; the latex against your skin always makes you shudder) pinching at your hand to get you to let go of him.

“No,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” you’re petulant, you know, frustration bubbling up in every cell of your body. “If I stay in here for one more day, I will tear myself into pieces.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.”

“Kai—”

“Don’t call me that.” His rebuttal is sharp. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.”

Your face twists into something ugly. Overhaul hates it when you do that; hates the way your brow wrinkles, your mouth moves, your normally lovely face (one of very few he can bear to look at unmasked and not feel as though he is going to get sick from merely breathing the same air of you) marred.

“You’re not,” you hiss at him. “You’re doing this because you’re fucked up! Because you’ve got some weird fucking ideas about what’s clean and what’s unclean, because you’re on a power trip, because you don’t care about other people--” Your voice is pitching and modulating, all of the things that you usually try and keep balled up inside of you spilling out that the floodgates of how unhappy you are is open.

You’re breathing heavy as Overhaul, clearly irked by what you’re saying, tugs at the wrist of one of his surgical gloves. If he’s going to kill you, good – at least it will be better than this, you think, your breath coming in short sharp pants after the outburst.

He lets go. His hands fall to his sides. His golden gaze on you is very level.

“You’re hysterical,” he tells you. An exasperated laugh falls from your mouth.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course I am. Do you know the last time I breathed fresh air?”

“Seven months, two weeks, three days.” He says it without blinking. Your shoulders tense. Has it really been that long? “You haven’t been ill once in that time. The world out there is filthy.”

“It’s normal to get sick,” you try and tell him, but Overhaul is moving forward; past the doorway, and into your room. The door clicks shut behind him, the sound of a lock ominous. You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with Kai in your bedroom.

In the medical examination rooms, sure. In his office. In common areas, back when he was just the boss’ troubled protege and not the boss himself--

His eyebrows twitch in disgust as he notices the dust on your bookshelves. You’d stopped letting any of the cleaners in here a month ago; you’d refused to clean in the mean time, taking whatever small victory against your captor that you could.

“You’ll give yourself respiratory issues,” he says.

“Good,” your voice is cold, but you realise you’ve backed away from him. For all of your attempts to stand up to him, you’re terrified. Everyone knows what he can do. “Better dead than here--”

Gloved fingers around your wrist, so tight you can practically feel them bruising.

“You don’t mean that,” he says. His voice has gotten softer, cajoling. You’re trembling in his grip. “I told you. You’re hysterical.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you say, but your words feel like you’re spitting them out around a mouthful of gravel. “I—I’m calm--”

Your knees knock against your bed, but Overhaul is still clinging to you; still too close. Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

“You’re not. You’re hysterical.” He repeats it, calmly. The hand not on your wrist reaches up and cups your face, a gloved thumb stroking across your cheek as if you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. The scent of the latex is overwhelming. “But that’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He clicks his tongue behind the mask. “It’s mine. All of this checking for the physical sickness, and I didn’t think about checking your head.”

You fall onto the bed as his knees knock against yours, your back hitting the wall. It’s just a plain, single bed; rumpled sheets, because you’d fought against any attempt for someone to come in and collect your laundry, too. Overhaul looks silly in your room, you think dimly; like a huge black crow in the nest of a small, frightened wren.

“If you fight,” he tells you, “I’ll disassemble you. I’d rather not. I don’t want to taint you by using my quirk. But . . .” He’s sinking to his knees in front of you, those same methodical hands pushing up the skirt of your dress. “If I did, I’d get a blank mind to work with. I won’t hesitate. But I’d still rather simply fix you without having to break you into pieces first.”

You know him too well to think that he’s bluffing.

After all of the vitriol you’ve spat at him, he’s unwilling to kill you. Would it be worse, to be mindless and brainless under Kai’s quirk? You’ve heard some of his failed experiments before; babbling, drooling, broken things. He’s killed them sometimes just to put them out of their misery.

What if he did that, and your mind remained perfectly capable – just utterly unable to communicate with your body? A prisoner in your own skin. Worse than even now. You swallow back the lump of fear.

“H-how are you going to do that?” You ask him.

You start at how cold the gloved fingers are on your bare thighs, as Overhaul pushes them apart. Cold fear prickles down your spine. You’re too scared to fight back, but everything he’s doing is making you want to run.

“Did you know,” Overhaul says, those same hands sliding higher, to tug at the waistband of your underwear. “In the past, there were rumours that doctors would cure hysteria by genital massage and stimulation?”

His words are very clinical, but there’s a thickness to his voice behind the mask that fills you with revulsion.

“It might be nonsense, of course,” he says. Your underwear is being tugged down, pulled around your thighs, your knees, your ankle. “They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth--”

“Kai—” Your voice is a soft whine, fear-filled. This time, he doesn’t snap at you for calling him by the name he’s left behind. He simply says;

“Spread your legs.”

You don’t want to. But you want to risk what he’s threatening you with even less, so you tearfully open them as wide as you can go. He shifts forward, and the tip of the beaked mask digs into your inner thigh as he studies you like you’re nothing more than a diagram, not a living, breathing person--

“Next time I’ll have lubricant ready,” he says, under his breath, and your heart seizes up at the implication that whatever he’s going to do to you, there’ll be a next time.

You start at the sensation of gloved fingers gently parting the lips of your sex, Overhaul’s golden eyes drinking in the sight of you spread open and bare. You’re shaking, but for some reason the way he’s looking at you – the utter concentration in his eyes – makes a curl of heat flare deep inside of you.

“Don’t,” you breathe, trying not to squirm. “Please--”

“I don’t want to have to,” he says. His tone remains calm, unbothered. “I’m doing it for your own good, you know that. Just helping you along.” One finger slides through the slit; the sensation of the gloves against your most intimate, heated parts makes the muscles in your thighs clench. It’s . . . not exactly unpleasant, but neither it is pleasant. “Do you think I’m getting any pleasure out of this?”

He doesn’t like getting his hands dirty. You know this; everyone knows this. If this particular thought was so unpleasant to him, you don’t doubt he’d have found somebody else to do it (the thought of one of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai doing this to you fills you with even more revulsion than the idea of Overhaul himself). But you can’t say that out loud. Not after what he’s threatened. So you press your lips together and shake your head, gasp dying in your throat as one of Overhaul’s latex-covered fingers prods gently around your opening.

“You’re getting wet,” he tells you, as if you can’t feel the shameful slick beginning to leak from you. “That will make this easier. Good.”

You hate that the praise makes another jolt of arousal go through you. You don’t want to like the feeling of his gloves, rubbing at your heated cunt; the sensation of a fingertip circling around your entrance, brushing the bud of your clit and making you want to clamp your thighs around his hand.

He sinks the tip of one finger inside of you and you jerk, your hips out of your control as you try and sink away from the intrusion. Overhaul clicks his tongue again in annoyance at you. The hand holding the lips of your cunt open moves, to land on your hip and pin you between the bed and the wall so you can’t squirm again.

“I’ll sedate you next time, if I have to,” he says. “I’m not getting anything out of this. I’d prefer not to have to do it at all--”

He’s lying. You know he is. But you can’t call him out for it, so you press your trembling lips together and try to stop tears spilling out from your lash line as the finger inside of you sinks further and further inside, past his first knuckle, right down to the base.

He crooks it inside of you and your hands curl into the bedsheets, nails digging into your palms through cotton. His touch is curious, exploratory; has he ever actually done this to anybody before? He slides over a rough patch inside of you with the latex-tipped finger and a moan escapes your mouth against your will, your head falling back against the wall. Narrowed golden eyes look up at you as he repeats the motion; taking in the gloss of your lips, the widening of your eyes, the way your shoulders are shaking up and down.

You can feel yourself pumping more slick out; helping the glide of his finger inside of you, as he begins to carefully thrust it in and out of you. His touch is made all the more impersonal by the mask obscuring everything but his eyes and eyebrows; you can’t even hear him breathing.

Your cunt is fluttering around him, pleasure swarming you in breathless waves as he withdraws his finger entirely. He lifts the glove to his eyeline, looking only vaguely interested in how the white latex glimmers with your arousal.

“I’m going to use two now,” he tells you – and that is all the warning you get before two fingers beside one another are opening you up, scissoring your tight channel apart with an ache that you feel up to your hips. You bite back the whimper, but you’re unable to stop the choked breaths that are falling from you as he fucks you with them in steady, constant thrusts.

A covered thumb brushes your clit; swollen, now. Sensitive. Standing to attention. Your hips attempt to jerk in his hold once more, a strangled noise that’s neither pleasured nor pain falling from your throat. You’ve touched yourself, of course you have – even recently, just to try and assuage some of the boredom that fills your exactly-the-same days – but Overhaul’s fingers and thumbs and touch on you are so entirely different from that.

He continues his assault over your clit, those same eyes watching you with that same detached, clinical disposition that he’s had most of the time. There’s a cast to them that suggests there’s something more, but whatever emotion – if, indeed, he’s still capable of that – he’s feeling about having you at his mercy in this way has been pushed to the back of his mind as his thumb rolls and pinches at the bud.

Your body goes all-over heat, Overhaul’s fingers still pumping in and out of you, the slick noises of your shaming wetness echoing around the prison of the four walls you’ve spent seven months in. You’re teetering on the edge of something, hot and needy and wanting – and as Overhaul’s thumb sweeps over your poor aching clit again, you tilt your hips forward for as much stimulation as you can--

And he pulls his fingers out of you.

The heat fades into nothingness as you let out a noise of disappointment. Overhaul’s head tilts to one side, considering.

“What do you want?” He asks you. “Say it.”

No. You don’t ‘want’. He’s wrong. You keep your mouth pressed tight now that the damning noise has fallen out of it; you have managed to not let the tears trembling in your eyes spill forth. Your gaze meets his, defiant and tired and afraid all at once.

“Alright,” he sighs. “If you’re going to carry on being difficult.”

He does it again; his fingers plunging into you, scissoring you apart, rubbing against your folds with a practised agility now that he’s done it for the first time. He has always been a fast learner; always been observant. His thumb is back on your clit with ceaseless assault, and all over again you feel heat begin to build up; tension that crawls into every crevice of your being and worms its way deep inside you despite how badly you don’t want this.

The hand holding your hip loosens somewhat, allowing you to messily thrust your hips into Overhaul’s stimulation. You’re torn; you shouldn’t want to hump against the gloved fingers stimulating you, you should be wriggling and squirming away. But it feels so good; even with the skin-tight covering of rubbery latex, Overhaul’s fingers seem to find every one of your weak points and exploit them.

There it is again, building up on you; a ball of tension in your stomach being gradually wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your hips flex against his hand, your fingers clenching and unclenching on the bedsheet--

He denies you the peak of your orgasm for the second time.

And a third.

And a fourth.

“Kai--!” You’re too far gone to even think, after the pleasure has been pulled from you so cruelly, over and over again. The tears spill over your cheeks., rolling down in fat, shaming droplets. Overhaul’s eyes narrow.

“No,” he says, vehement – more emotion in his voice than you’ve heard all day. “You know what to call me.”

You know what he wants you to call him. You know that he wants to leave his old name behind, start again, be someone who can drag the Shie Hassaikai out of the shadows and into light and power once again – and he thinks that the name will help. You gurgle out a sobbing, strangled noise;

“O-Overhaul, please--”

Three fingers are plunged as deep inside of you as they can go, crooked to rub against your sweet spot; as Overhaul murmurs, detached but soft;

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They thrust into you, his thumb rubbing your clit with firm, certain strokes – and this time, as the orgasm rushes up on you all at once, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you with his fingers through it, his thumb not ceasing the circling. Pleasure washes over you, finally, in great waves and crests. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, soaking him in your wetness (his eyebrows furrow again, at how close your fluid comes to spilling over his bared wrist; but you are too relieved to think about anything other than finally getting what you need).

Your hips flex, gasps falling from your mouth with every thrust of them – and you expect Overhaul to pull his fingers out of you. To stop touching you. Perhaps to strip off his gloves and put on a new pair – you know he always carries spares – and sneer at you as he walks out of the room.

But Overhaul’s fingers do not move from inside of you. The fierce rhythm of his fucking and petting and rubbing does not stop, even as the final aftershocks of your orgasm clench loosely about him and his constant stimulation becomes more of an annoyance than anything else on heated, sensitive skin.

You squirm, trying to push your thighs together to get him to stop touching you – but the hand not fucking you forces your thighs to stay parted with the curl of fingers into supple flesh, leaving you helpless to do anything but let him carry on touching you. Carry on fucking you.

A short, sharp shock of an orgasm rips through you as he swirls his thumb over your clit just so, and you realise that you’re drooling down yourself as well as panting; helpless and sloppy, utterly unable to do anything except lie there and take it until Overhaul decides he’s had enough of touching you.

You come, what? Twice more? Thrice? Until the pulsing of your channel is painful, your skin feeling red raw, your whimpers into the ceiling dry and broken. Only then does he pull his fingers out of you with a lewd pop.

A gush of your fluid that his fingers were stoppering soaks your bedsheets, and you watch, dazed, as Overhaul stands up. He looks down at you for just one moment, that stretches unbearably long in the heat-and-sex soaked atmosphere of the room.

He strips his gloves off of his hands, eyebrows twitching in disgust as he leaves the crumpled latex on your bedside table. He’s sliding on another pair as he speaks;

“Feel better?”

No. No, you don’t. You feel worse. You feel disgusted and violated and aching, your body over-stimulated and exhausted, sweat and drool and bodily fluids clinging to your skin. But if you tell Overhaul that--

“Yes,” you say, voice very soft and small and weak. You cannot see his mouth, but you see the way his eyes flash happily, the overall sensation of him smiling.

Why does Overhaul’s smile make you so scared, when Kai’s smile used to just make you feel warm?

“We’ll need to do it a few more times,” he tells you, as your blood runs to ice in your veins. “Such maladies aren’t cured in a day, after all. But . . .” He turns, rearranging himself carefully, his mask readjusted. You can’t see him as he speaks the next words. “I’d like to try some of the other suggested remedies, too.”

You think of his earlier words.

‘They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth.’

You’re never going to escape, are you? You’re going to be trapped in this compound until the day you die, and Overhaul is going to think that he’s keeping you safe--

“Take a shower,” he says to you, as he opens the door. It is not a suggestion. “And stop not letting the maids come in here to clean. I’m not having you get sick.”

You think he might be the sick one.

#overhaul x reader #yandere overhaul #overhaul smut #overhaul x you #chisaki kai x reader #bnha smut #bnha x reader #dark content for ts #5555 event fic #not sfw text #writing #afab reader #fem pronouns #misogyny for ts #bnha posting #medical kink for ts #non consent for ts #dub con for ts #non con for ts

[mass-effect-anonymous]

CONFESSION:

When I first played Mass Effect 3 many years ago, I enjoyed it despite the flaws I could see. But when I replayed the trilogy with Legendary Edition this year, my opinion of the game has gone way down.

The writing has such a huge drop in quality from the first two games (which make sense because a lot of the writers left before ME2 was released, and the drop in quality is even present in some of ME2's DLC). The dialogue system was extremely simplified (every option is either "good" or "bad"), and morally grey issues were also reduced to good or bad (the Genophage, the quarian/geth conflict). I felt like I had way less control over my Shepard, too, partially because of the dialogue simplification and partially because of story elements that just don't fit the way I roleplayed her in the fist two games. (returning to the Alliance, being overly concerned with a random kid, etc.) I have a lot of other complaints (plot points from 2 being dropped, the ending,  Kai Leng), but I feel like those are talked about more and I don't want to make this longer than it should be.

But I think the absolute worst part is how the ensemble cast was treated. Mass Effect 2 was able to give you 10 squadmates with extensive dialogue trees, all with their own unique personality and relationship with Shepard, and for the most part I felt like all the companions were treated equally. ME3, however, put all of its effort into Liara and Garrus (but mostly Liara), while turning most of the other companions into glorified cameos with only one quest or singular purpose. Jack had huge character development but only had a role in one quest, Miranda's quest was just rehashed from her loyalty mission in 2, and Grunt and Samara were barely in the game. I romanced Thane, and he's easily my favorite character, and I honestly thought it was insulting that his only purpose in the game was to die and instantly be forgotten about. Meanwhile, the game heavily tries to push a Liara romance on you, and even if you don't romance her, the game treats her like your best friend and sidekick even if you actively try to avoid her.

This opinion has alienated me from a lot of the ME fandom, who constantly praise 3 and in some cases even act like it's the pinnacle of the franchise. I've been called entitled for simply expressing that I wish the game hadn't almost forgotten about some of my favorite characters. (and I feel like the fandom always neglects the characters that didn't have a huge part in 3) Don't get me wrong, I don't hate everything about the game. The combat is solid, the music is beautiful, and I'm happy with the development of some characters like Kaidan. But I really wish I could somehow go back in time, convince all the old writers to stay, and let the game have a proper development time, because now all I can see when I play ME3 is a rushed mess that has little resemblance to the series I fell in love with.

#Mass Effect Anonymous #Mass Effect Confession #BioWare Critical #ME3 Critical #LONG POST

[dylanobrienisbatman]

Omg give us ur rant abt hating d*rklina as a ship.. im petty

Okay Anon, so i saw this the other day and I wasn't in the right headspace to answer but i am now!

So to start off, I am firmly in the ship and let ship category. You like a ship, i don't care. That doesn't mean i won't rag on the ship itself but I don't send hate, I don't really engage with shippers from ships I don't like, and I am liberal with the block button and the blacklist feature. Cultivate your tumblr/online experience, y'all. You don't owe anyone on this hellsite (or any other) a damn thing.

However, I REALLY do hate d*rklina as a ship, and I have a big problem with the way the shippers talk about it, so I hope you were being serious about wanting a rant because here it goes.

As for the ship itself, i feel like the reasons I dislike it are pretty obvious and standard. It's abusive. He is her abuser. He manipulates her. He spends months grooming her and gaslighting her, intentionally trying to get her under his control so that when he literally enslaves her it will go over easier. He never actually loved her, he wanted to use her for her power. It's not complicated, it's not really 'up for debate', that is the way its written, and the author has explained that that was the intended interpretation of her work. I mean he literally sexually assaults her in the second book, and straight up tells her he's going to kill everyone she loves so that she has no choice but to fall to him because she is completely alone in the world. He threatens to skin her alive in the second book when they're on the boat, he has no problem torturing her to get Mal to do what he wants. That's not love. He does not love her. It's pretty black and white, its explicitly written as an abusive relationship. The point was to show how easily powerful men can manipulate and abuse young naive women who don't know any better and try to see the best in people. Alina 'fell' for the version of Darkles Sparkles that he intentionally created to try to control her. Nothing he told her was true, from his backstory, to them both being 'the only one like [each other]' (hello, baghra), to using Genya to convince Alina that Mal had abandoned her, everything he did was manipulation so that he could get her under his control. It is not a romance, it is not 'a ship war', d*rklina is not written as romantic. He is her abuser. Full stop.

There is also the point about him being just a generally horrible person all around. He's not morally grey. He just isn't. He sold an 11 year old into sex slavery, forced her to stay in that situation so he could use her, and then mutilated her when she defied him. He also groomed and abused Zoya, because he saw that she was exceptionally powerful and wanted to use her the way he wanted to use Alina. He enslaved Alina. He blinded and mutilated his own mother. He is a genocidal maniac. He shows no remorse, he doesn't care about anyone but himself and his own power. He is not the type of character that should be romantically shipped with anyone. If you like him, that's absolutely fine! One of my fave characters ever is Kai Parker from TVD. Dude was a straight up psychopath. He tried to kill multiple pairs of toddlers. He brutally murdered his pregnant sister AT HER WEDDING. He is a HORRIBLE person. But I think he's a brilliant character. But do I think he's a good guy, do I want him anywhere near any characters in that show in a romantic way (ehem b*nkai)? Absolutely fucking not. Being a fan of a villain character is fine, but fucking own that shit. Villains can be SUCH good characters, but they're still villains. Erasing the bad they've done so you can justify putting them in situations where they WILL harm the people around them because you can't level with yourself about the bad things they've done doesn't make you 'woke', it just makes you look like you don't understand the media you're consuming.

Which leads me to why I have such a problem with the way D*rklina shippers engage with the ship. They simultaneously wanna say "oh we know it's toxic/bad/abusive/etc., that's why we like it!" and then also they try to claim that it should be endgame, they romanticize scenes where he is abusing her (and by romanticize I mean they literally try to frame his abuse as romantic, not like "oh yeah my ship is interacting!!". those are different things. You can be excited about ship interactions without trying to say that things he is doing to her are actually romantic), they try to argue that he is morally grey/misunderstood/etc., and they straight up try to lie and say he's not her abuser.

If you wanna ship an abusive ship, own it. Be straight up about why you like it. It's okay to be into dark shit, y'all. It does NOT make you a bad person to be into dark shit. But this idea that fiction doesn't impact real life, and that people can't call the ship out for what it is is a problem is a very troubling trend in fandom. Nobody is saying you can't ship it, do what you want. But this idea that these people are 'oppressed' because fans of the show/book continue to point out the facts about the way the story was written and how the relationship is actually presented is fucking insane. Someone saying that D*rklina is abusive is not calling you out, they are stating a fact. It's the story as it was presented. You trying to say it's not makes it look like you have no reading comprehension. And this idea that 'well i'll be on the lookout for evil shadow wizards in real life lol' is such horse shit too. His shadow wizard powers aren't the issue. He is a powerful man who grooms and abuses young women. You're telling me you lived through the Me Too movement and you wanna act like thats not a real threat that young women face every day? You're telling me that you can't see that the actual real life connection you're supposed to be making here? Okay, well you should maybe deal with that and come back to me, because that's an issue.

Fiction is meant to teach us lessons. Darkles is meant to teach us something. He is meant to show us that sometimes, powerful men lie to, manipulate, groom, and abuse young women, and we should be aware of that. The story is about a young woman who is sucked into an abusive situation, and then she breaks free and in the end she is able to defeat her abuser. That is a really powerful story, and one that millions of real life women can relate too. To pretend that that story doesn't have real life connections makes you look insensitive and frankly, kind of cruel.

So basically, in the end, my biggest issue is that D*rklina shippers love to spout this nonsense about 'knowing' it's bad and that he's a villain, and 'that's why they like him', and then turn around and try to say that he's not actually the villain, he's not actually bad, and the things he does to Alina that are abuse are actually romantic and sweet. You wanna ship an abusive ship, you do you, but lets not pretend it's anything other than what it is, but romanticizing and normalizing abuse tactics so you can feel, what? morally superior? Cool? edgy and different? That has real life impacts. You are normalizing abuse. Real people will engage with that rhetoric, and it will make it difficult for them to see abuse when it happens to them or the people around them because they believe its romantic or normal to be treated that way.

You wanna be a villain stan? You wanna ship dark ships? Good on ya, but fucking own your shit, y'all.

#anti darklina #the darkling #shadow and bone

[the-cherry-limeade]

Disclaimer: this post talks negatively about the way Wanda Maximoff has been portrayed and treated in the mcu, if you don’t want to read something talking negatively about Wanda Maximoff then don’t read. I know that having her name in this post will have it come out in the search tag for her, but I’m not gonna censor a whole post, so I’m very sorry but you can block the anti Wanda maximoff tag if you don’t wanna read this stuff since I did tag it as that, or just don’t read this post, kay?

So I said it before and I’ll say it again, I adored wandavision and I love Wanda Maximoff as a character but I’m gonna make a few enemies and say: I don’t think mcu Wanda is a hero

Wanda has done some morally questionable things, and I love morally grey character so I’m actually all for that considering what her powers are and the question of her own mental stability, but I don’t like how it mostly gets brushed aside in the movies and show. Like yes civil war kind of showed consequences but not really, since the focus was on Bucky Cap and Iron Man, and Wandavision showed how the people she controlled were upset and horrified, but having Monica come out and say “she’s upset!” kind of ruined it for me?

I’m not saying her actions aren’t understandable to a degree and actually really in character, but let the people she hurts be upset, she doesn’t have to immediately become a saint afterward but I mean let’s see her face the consequences.

Actually when the angry mob of people came at her in WandaVision she kind of did face the consequences, and her reaction was really in character too even though it wasn’t a good reaction, but it makes sense to how she’s been acting. Plus when Vision started getting mad at her for controlling him and the situation I really liked that too, she doesn’t react like a hero and I’m fine with that! Her reactions are understandable to how she is mentally and emotionally, and I want that explored more!

I don’t know, just something about having Monica go “She’s upset so it’s fine!” kind of made me not like it anymore. I’m all for her understanding Wanda’s emotional turmoil and wanting to help her, but I want to see Monica visibly react to the bad things Wanda has been doing and acknowledge that they’re bad things, but still want to help because Wanda is still not in a good place and needs help, you can do both!

Anyway that’s my rant, Wanda lovers don’t come at me please

#anti wanda maximoff #anti wandavision

[geshertzarmeod]

Favorite Books of 2020

I wanted to put together a list! I read 74 new books this year, and I keep track of that on Goodreads - feel free to add or follow me if you want to see everything! I’m going to focus on the highlights, and the books that stuck with me personally in one way or another, in approximate order. Also, all but two of them (#5 and #7 on the honorable mention list) are queer/trans in some way. Links are to Goodreads, but if you’re looking to get the books, I suggest your library, the Libby app using your library, your local bookstore, or Bookshop.

The Faggots & Their Friends Between Revolutions by Larry Mitchell, illus. by Ned Asta (originally published 1977). I had a hard beginning of the year and was in a work environment where my queerness was just not welcomed or wanted. I read this in the middle of all of that, and it helped me so much. I took this book with me everywhere. I read it on planes. I read it on the bus, and on trains, and at shul. I showed it to friends... sometimes at shul, or professional development conferences. It healed my soul. Now I can’t find it and might get a new copy. When I reviewed it, in February, I wrote: “I think we all need this book right now, but I really needed this book right now. Wow. This book is magic, and brings back a sense of magic and beauty to my relationship with the world.” Also I bought my copy last July, in a gay bookstore on Castro St. in SF, and that in itself is just beautiful to me. (Here’s a post I made with some excerpts)

Once & Future duology, especially the sequel, Sword in the Stars, by A.R. Capetta and Cory McCarthy. Cis pansexual female King Arthur Ari Helix (she's the 42nd reincarnation and the first female one) in futuristic space with Arab ancestry (but like, from a planet where people from that area of earth migrated to because, futuristic space) works to end Future Evil Amazon.com Space Empire with her found family with a token straight cis man and token white person. Merlin is backwards-aging so he's a gay teenager with a crush and thousands of years of baggage. The book’s entire basis is found family, and it's got King Arthur in space. And the sequel hijacks the original myth and says “fuck you pop culture, it was whitewashed and straightwashed, there were queer and trans people of color and strong women there the whole time.” Which is like, my favorite thing to find in media, and a big part of why I love Xena so much. It’s like revisionist history to make it better except it’s actually probably true in ways. Anyway please read these books but also be prepared for an absolutely absurd and wild ride. Full disclosure though, I didn’t love the first book so much, it’s worth it for the sequel!

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum. This book hurt. It still hurts. But it was so good. It took me on a whole journey, and brought me to my destination just like it intended the whole time. The author’s note at the end made me cry! The sheer NEED from this book, the way the main relationship develops and shifts, and how you PERCEIVE the main relationship develops and shifts. I’m in awe of Ancrum’s writing. If you like your ships feral and needy and desperate and wanting and D/S vibes and lowkey super unhealthy but with the potential, with work, to become healthy and beautiful and right, read this book. This might be another one to check trigger warnings for though.

The Entirety of The Daevabad Trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. I hadn’t heard of this series until this year, when a good friend recommended it to me. It filled the black hole in me left by Harry Potter. The political and mystical/fantasy world building is just *chef’s kiss* - the complexity! The morally grey, everyone’s-done-awful-things-but-some-people-are-still-trying-to-do-good tapestry! The ROMANCE oh my GOD the romance. If I’m absolutely fully invested in a heterosexual romance you know a book is good, but also this book had background (and then later less background) queer characters! And the DRAMA!!! The third book went in a direction that felt a little out of nowhere but honestly I loved the ride. I stayed up until 6am multiple times reading this series and I’d do it again.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon. I loved this book so much that it’s the only book I reviewed on my basically abandoned attempt at a book blog. This book is haunting, horrifying, disturbing, dark, but so, so good. The character's voices were so specific and clear, the relationships so clearly affected by circumstance and yet loving in the ways they could be. This is my favorite portrayal of gender maybe ever, it’s just... I don’t even have the words but I saw a post @audible-smiles​ made about it that’s been rattling in my head since. And, “you gender-malcontent. You otherling,” as tender pillow talk??? Be still my heart. Be ready, though, this book has all the triggers.. it’s a .

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender. This book called me out on my perspective on love. Also, it made me cry a lot. And it has two different interesting well-written romance storylines. And a realistic coming-into-identity narrative about a Black trans demiboy. And a nuanced discussion of college plans and what one might do after college. And some big beautiful romcom moments. I wish I had it in high school. I’m so glad I have it now! (trigger warning for transphobia & outing, but the people responsible are held accountable by the end, always treated as not okay by the narrative, and the MC’s friends, and like... this is ownvoices and it’s GOOD.)

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. My Goodreads review says, “I have no idea what happened, and I loved it.” That’s not wrong, but to delve deeper, this book has an ethereal feeling that you get wrapped up in while reading. Nothing makes sense but that’s just as it should be. You’re hooked. It is so atmospheric, so meta, so fascinating. I’ve seen so many people say they interpreted this character or that part or the ending in all different ways and it all makes sense. And it’s all of this with a gay main character and romance and the central theme, the central pillar being a love of and devotion to stories. Of course I was going to love it.

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom. “Because maybe what really matters isn’t whether something is true, or false. Maybe what matters is the story itself; what kinds of doors it opens, what kinds of dreams it brings.” This book was so good and paradigm shifting. It reminded me of #1 on this list in the way it turns real life experience and hard, tragic ones at that (in this case, of being a trans girl of color who leaves home and tries to make a life for herself in the city, with its violence), into a beautiful, haunting fable. Once upon a time.

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver. I need to reread this book, as I read it during my most tranceful time of 2020 and didn’t write a review, so I forgot a lot. What I do remember is beautiful and important nonbinary representation, a really cute romance, an interesting parental and familial/sibling dynamic that was both heartbreaking and hopeful, and an on-page therapy storyline. Also Mason Deaver just left twitter but was an absolutely hilarious troll on it before leaving and I appreciate that (and they just published a Christmas novella that I have but haven’t read yet!)

The Truth Is by NoNieqa Ramos. It took a long time to trust this book but I’m so glad I did. It’s raw and real and full of grief and trauma (trigger warnings, that I remember, for grief, death (before beginning of book), and gun violence). The protagonist is flawed and gets to grow over the course of the book, and find her own place, and learn from the people around her, while they also learn to understand her and where she’s coming from. It’s got a gritty, harsh, and important portrayal of found family, messy queerness, and some breathtaking quotes. When I was 82% through this book I posted this update: “This book has addressed almost all of my initial hesitations, and managed to complicate itself beautifully.”

Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro.  I wasn’t actually in the best mental health place to read this book when I did (didn’t quite understand what it was) but it definitely reminded me of what there is to fight against and to fight for, and broke my heart, and nudged me a bit closer to hope. The naturally diverse cast of characters was one of the best parts of this book. The romance is so sweet and tender and then so painful. This book is important and well-written but read it with caution and trigger warnings - it’s about grief and trauma and racism and police brutality, but also about love and community.

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden.  This is a sci-fi/fantasy/specfic mashup that takes place in near-future South Africa and has world-building myths with gods and demigoddesses and a trip to the world of the dead but also a genetically altered hallucinogenic drug that turns people into giant animals and a robot uprising and a political campaign and a transgender pop star and a m/m couple and all of them are connected. It’s bonkers. Like, so, so absolutely mind-breaking weird. And I loved it.

Crier’s War and Iron Heart by Nina Varela.  I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVED the amount of folktales they told each other with queer romances as integral to those stories, especially in Iron Heart. A conversation between the two leads where Crier says she wants to read Ayla like a book, and Ayla says she’s not a book, and Crier explains all the different ways she wants to know Ayla, like a person, and wants to deserve to know her like a person, made me weak. It lives in my head rent-free.

Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston @ekjohnston . I listened to this book on Libby and then immediately listened to it at least one more time, maybe twice, before my borrow time ran out. I love Padmé, and just always wish that female Star Wars characters got more focus and attention and this book gave me that!! And queer handmaidens! And the implication that Sabé is in love with Padmé and that’s just something that will always be true and she will always be devoted and also will make her own life anyway. And the Star Wars audiobooks being recorded the way they are with background sounds and music means it feels like watching a really long detailed beautiful Star Wars movie just about Padmé and her handmaidens.

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by Jacob Tobia. I needed to read this. The way Tobia talks about their experience of gender within the contexts of college, college leadership, and career, hit home. I kept trying to highlight several pages in a row on my kindle so I could go back and read them after it got returned to the library (sadly it didn’t work - it cuts off highlights after a certain number of characters). The way they talk about TOKENISM they way they talk about the responsibilities of the interviewer when an interviewee holds marginalized identities especially when no one else in the room does!!! Ahhhh!!!

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie. Disclaimer for this one that the author was rightfully criticized for writing a Black main character as a white author (and how the story ended up playing into some fucked up stuff that I can’t really unpack without spoiling). But also, the author has been working to move forward knowing she can’t change the past, has donated her proceeds, and this book is really good? It has all the fanfic tropes, so much delicious tension, a totally unexpected plot twist that had me immediately rereading the book. This book was super fun and also kind of just really really good Star Wars fanfiction.

How To Be a Normal Person by T.J. Klune. This book was so sweet, and cute, and hopeful, and both ridiculous and so real. I had some trouble getting used to Gus’ voice and internal monologue, but I got into it and then loved every bit after. The ace rep is something I’ve never seen like this before (and have barely read any ace books but still this was so fleshed out and well rounded and not just like, ‘they’re obsessed with swords not sex’ - looking at you, Once & Future - and leaving it there.) This all felt like a slice of life and I feel like I learned about people while reading it. Some of the moments are so, so funny, some are vaguely devastating. I have been personally victimized by TJ Klune for how he ends this book (a joke, you will know once you read it) but it also reminds me of the end of the “You Are There” episode of Xena and we all know what the answer to that question was.... and I choose to believe the answer here was similar.

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson. I wish I had this book when I was in high school. I honestly have complicated feelings about prom and haven’t really been seeking out contemporary YA so I was hesitant to read this but it was so good and so well-written, and had a lot of depth to it. The movie (and Broadway show) “The Prom” wants what this book has.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. I never read horror books, so this was a new thing for me. I loved the feeling of this book, the way I felt fully immersed. I loved how entirely queer it was. I was interested in the characters and the relationships, even though we didn’t have a full chance to go super deep into any one person but rather saw the connections between everyone and the way the stories matched up with each other. I just wanted a bit of a more satisfying ending.

Honorable Mention: reread in 2020 but read for the first time pre-2020

Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I couldn’t make this post without mentioning this book. It got me through this year. I love this book so much; I think of this book all the time. This book made me want to find love for myself. You’ve all heard about it enough but if you haven’t read this book what are you DOING.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan @sarahreesbrennan​ . I reread this one over and over too, both as text and as an audiobook. I went for walks when I had lost my earbuds and had Elliott screaming about an elf brothel loudly playing and got weird looks from someone walking their dog. I love this book so much. It’s just so fun, and so healing to read a book reminiscent of all the fantasies I read as a kid, but with a bi main character and a deconstruction of patriarchy and making fun of the genre a bit. Also, idiots to lovers is a great trope and it’s definitely in this book.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book is forever so important to me. I am always drawn in by how tenderly Sáenz portrays his characters. These boys. These boys and their parents. I love them. I love them so much. This is another one where I don’t even know what to say. I have more than 30 pages in my tag for this book. I have “arda” set as a keyboard shortcut on my phone and laptop to turn into the full title. This book saved my life.

Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book hurts to read - it’s a story about trauma, about working through that trauma, healing enough to be ready to hold the worst memories, healing enough to move through the pain and start to make a life. It’s about found family and love and pain and I love it. It’s cathartic. And it’s a little bit quietly queer in a beautiful way, but that’s not the focus. Look up trigger warnings (they kind of are spoilery so I won’t say them here but if you have the potential to be triggered please look them up or ask me before reading)

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine.  When asked what my all time favorite book is, it’s usually this one. Gail Carson Levine has been doing live readings at 11am since the beginning of the pandemic shut down in the US, and the first book she read was Ella Enchanted. I’ve been slowly reading it to @mssarahpearl and am just so glad still that it has the ability to draw me in and calm me down and feels like home after all this time. This book is about agency. I love it.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman @chronicintrovert . I’ve had this on my all-time-faves list since I read it a few years ago and ended up rereading it this year before sending a gift copy to a friend, so I could write little notes in it. It felt a little different reading it this time - as I get further away from being a teenager myself, the character voice this book is written in takes a little longer to get used to, but it’s so authentic and earnest and I love it. I absolutely adore this book about platonic love and found family and fandom and mental illness and abuse and ace identity and queerness and self-determination, especially around college and career choices. Ahhh. Thank you Alice Oseman!!!

Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray @claudiagray​ . I have this one on audible and reread it several times this year. I love the fleshing out of Leia’s story before the original trilogy, I love her having had a relationship before Han, and the way it would have affected her perspective. I also am intrigued by the way it analyses the choices the early rebellion had to make... I just, I love all the female focused new Star Wars content and the complexity being brought to the rebellion.

#red white and royal blue #aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe #osemanverse #star wars #queer books #lgbtq books #books #alice oseman #miri personal #wow this took so long but was so worth it! #long post #book recs #PS: if you've read any of these or have questions about any of these books #this is your formal invitation to talk to me about them!!!! even if i don't know you at all! #even if i don't follow you and even if you don't follow me! #my ask box is open anon is on! #original content

[kuronekonerochan]

Random rant about Court Lady (ps: if you like the drama just don’t read it pls, or if you do, don’t @ me)

Disclaimer: I personally hate this drama and I almost never post about dramas negatively, just for the ones I like and ignore the ones I dislike. This one annoys me and I am aware that my criticism is probably only partially objectively valid and also partially nitpicks that irked me but are not “wrong” per se.

Also,just bc I don’t like it, if others like it, I have nothing to say about it except that liking it is as valid as my opinion and If you’re enjoying it, I’m glad and in no way judging bc in the end it’s just fiction and to each its own :)

I started watching this and dropped it at about ep8 bc I didn’t really enjoy it, despite the fact that I did find the production and technical aspects of the drama good and a bit different from the usual (including costume choices, etc). I even liked some of the characters like the Lu Daughter, the Pirate and the Princess (the one who hooks up with the ml’s brother). Mostly I liked Xu Kai, even as a bratty dude. Still, not enough stuff to keep my interest. After that I saw a random ep and realized the leads barely show up (and not even together) and that the screentime was dedicated to way too many  secondary characters, none of them the least interesting or likable.

But then I got bored and watched the latest eps of court lady,and tho pirate, princess and enemy daughter all show up, it's still boring and although it has  tons of characters, 99% of them are entitled psychopaths, and not even interesting psycho types at that, or masterminds that are enjoyable to watch. Nope they are all just annoying bullies and horrible ppl, men and women alike and what enjoyment can I get from this drama where the leads are almost never on scene together, there is a million subplots and characters yet almost no characters are likable and worth rooting for?

(Also, on nitpicking stuff, even tho they are probably historically accurate, I  ended up really disliking those stupid male hats and that terrible female wig style updo that looks terrible on almost every actress, while also making most of them impossible to tell apart. Besides, I changed my mind about the costume design...it ended up being a mess (not bc I don't like it personally) but bc you have scholars, penniless retired pirates, nobleman and royalty all wearing the exact same type of clothes with no difference in fabric, or embellishments or accessories to tell apart their hierarchic rank. Truly, one of the royals was addressed as your majesty and I'm like "dude, your clothes seem cheaper than the extras and servants around you".)

I ended up watching one of the latest ep where the leads finally have decent screentime...and omg it's not only the 1000 side characters who are unlikable, the leads are awful too...why would anyone do a drama with just terrible people? I kind of wish them all the equivalent of period White truck of Doom ending (maybe a collective corpse bridge like 2ha or TGCF?).

And for final exit rant on the latest eps:

Idk what I was thinking checking this drama out  again...seriously all the chars in this are either plain bullies, or that plus rapists (both genders, really...dudes all try to force themselves on the women and all the women take advantage of the men being drunk/poisoned, etc to sleep with them without them being able to give conscientious consent)...this might be the worse char ensemble drama I've ever seen. not a single relatable/likable char on sight, and they give us a million of them too.

 This is truly bizarre... this type of behavior dramas usually give to their villains, so you know, of those actions they're showing are morally bad. In this one all the characters are bad doing shitty things but the drama itself is so blase about it it kind of treats all of this stuff as normal and okay?! 

It's not as if I'm usually an sjw on fiction...I enjoy my bastard characters, but the whole vibe of this drama is...off, like completely disconnected from regular human behavior, as if they all got their moral compass set to fucking awful, so fucking awful became the new normal. It's very weird bc it's almost as they don't care if there isn't anyone worth rooting for.

 And it's not just the actions of the characters...on some (much better) dramas/novels, the "heroes" are also just as morally grey as the villains and the only reason we root for them is because we're on their side (e.g. Joy of Life, Qi Ye, WoH, The Advisers’ Alliance, Ever Night S1), but usually on those dramas the characters have their own personal reasons for "ends justify the means" and from their perspective, whether doing bad or good stuff they don't think of themselves as villains, and likewise the “true” villains in those dramas also have their own narrative and reasoning which makes them somewhat relatable even if we disagree or hate them. In this ppl act shitty, fully aware that they are shitty and without remorse, for very weak reasons and honestly most of those actions are more bc they can than to serve a purpose. They are all amoral idiots. I'm weirdly fascinated by this drama's mindset.

Basically they are all that dude friend from To Rule in a Turbulent World on the first chapter beating Sanado to death just bc, but instead of giving him a context and character depth showing different sides to him (and I ended up really liking that character), the ppl in this drama just have their characters doing that shit again and again and never try to give any sort of dimension to them.

I am the Ryan Reynolds "but...why?" meme watching this.

PS: I am very aware of how repetitive and unfocused and messy this rant is, but this is a compilation of my watching experience at various stages blended into this one post and honestly this drama does not deserve me wasting my time to make this text any more cohesive, so rambly barely comprehensive mess it is.

#court lady #cdrama #cnovel #to rule in a turbulent world #qi ye #the advisers' alliance #joy of life #word of honor #word of honour #ever night #it's been a while since I made a ranty rant #cdrama rant #cdrama rambles #it just annoys me when I see a drama with a great production value wasted on a bad story plot and script #especially when the acting isn't bad either...the direction is super weird and the editing is sort of awkward but I don't dislike the actors #also this is based on a novel so i'm probably offending both novel and drama fans with this #the thing is sometimes a novel can get away with elements like this bc of how it's written and gives context and reasoning through #inner monologues to the actions of its characters #i never read the novel this is based on so it might just be a case of it translating poorly to live action #but that's on the show's adaptation and script to fix #for example I liked both the novel and the drama for Faraway Wanderers #but it did have some elements that could have translated badly to the live action #and I think the changes they did to the script while some being required bc censorship #others were helpful towards making the story better and with a bigger emotional impact for a live action format

[whereisthecd]

• • • COMING SOON • • •

SuperM/Saddle Club AU✨

Meet the Magnolia Riders, a high caliber Equestrian Club showcasing some of the best, albeit chaotic, talent in the region. As the winter rest is coming to a close, the high intensity training at Sunset Magnolia Equestrian Center resumes in preparation for the first hunter jumper show of the season. While the team of hardworking goofballs is hoping to get their first group win of the season, their competition seems to be internal with the It Rider™️ on their team creating one storm after another. And then there’s the new guy with a not-so-superstar horse, or so it seems. How will the Magnolia Riders do this season? Will the barn aisle drama subside enough for a win? What’s with this new guy and will he find his way as a Magnolia?

Characters

The Lesson Boys

Ten: (23) The natural leader of the lesson boys. Naturally talented rider with enough sass for the entire team. While Ten is committed to the art of riding, he constantly feels pressure of being second best to the internal competition. However, training under his idolized instructor is a dream come true, and the love he has for him often brings up suspicious feelings.

Mark: (20) Ten’s younger brother. While he never expected to be a Magnolia Rider, going to the barn with his parents to see Ten ride was enough to keep him going on his own. Even though Mark fears horses, he’s found a lot of security in his own teammate. More than anything, Mark will always put his nerves and uneasiness aside for the friendships he has made within the riding community.

Lucas: (20) The moral foundation of the Magnolia Riders. Although he has only been riding for a couple of years, he has shown great talent. His support and comedic moments, albeit unintentional, are highly valued by his teammates. Lucas tries not to let too much of the barn drama get to him, as long as he is making his teammates and instructor proud.

Taeyong: (24) The newest member of the Magnolia Riders. Taeyong is a passionate and hardworking rider from a family who hasn’t always been able to afford their son’s dream. However, they will do what they can to give their son his dream, and for that Taeyong works three times as hard as everyone else. No one really knows why he had to leave his last team, and Taeyong hopes his upbringing and reputation don’t get in the way of the team’s success.

The Competition

Baekhyun: (25) The It Rider at Sunset Magnolia. The oldest and most successful member of the Magnolia Riders, Baekhyun believes he has the team and the riding community in the palm of his hand. Between the wealth of his family and the attitude he brings to the team, the lesson boys find him to be more of a thorn than a teammate. Baek’s favorite past times are wooing the stablehand and reminding Ten he will never be as good as he is.

The Stable Hand

Kai: (28) The ears and eyes of the Riding Center, but he rarely tells his secrets. With competitions in his past, Kai prefers the calmer life as the live-in stable hand, cleaning and tending to every horse in return for a paycheck and free room and board. He will always provide the best advice to the younger riders, especially Mark. His only flaw may be giving Baekhyun too much of his attention.

The Instructor

Taemin: (28) The end all be all equestrian. A former competitor making it into Olympic qualifying rounds, he is seen as a local celeb. In person, he is shy and quite kind, but it not afraid to put his riders in their place if they need it. In his eyes, everyone is capable of connection in the riding world, which may be why he seems to have an extra soft spot for Taeyong.

The Horses

Frida: Ten’s horse, a long but hearty bay thoroughbred. She is sassy but competitive. Ten and Frida have their “moments” together. It’s not uncommon for Ten to take a tumble off Frida on a weekly basis. People may question their bond at times but in the show ring they’re nearly unstoppable, and there is never a drought of tender moments between the two of them.

Annabelle: Originally Ten’s first lesson horse, she is now the white pony of Mark’s dreams. The two are great match, even though Annabelle has her stubborn moments. She will always back her rider and is experienced enough to pull Mark out of dicey situations. These two have their comedic moments.

Augustus “Gus”: Lucas’s horse, a tall stocky dapple-grey gelding. On looks alone he is a very promising horse, but it’s commonly known that Gus will mess up a course by simply tripping. He can be a bit of a scaredy cat, but Lucas loves this guy to no end. Gus often knickers at the sound of Lucas’s voice from down the barn aisle. He can be a bit lazy at times but desperately wants to do well for his boy.

Flower: A beautiful paint mare. A quiet but focused girl that deeply loves her rider, Taeyong. While her breed and looks alone make people doubt her in the show ring, she proves to be one of the fiercest competitors in the ring. She can be a little unsure of new things, but with the trust of Taeyong, she picks tricks up fast. Her favorite treat is green tea candies that Taeyong brings.

Galina “Gigi”: Baekhyun’s black beauty. Tall, muscly, slender. The gem of the barn, she works so hard for Baek, almost to a fault. She is equally as sassy but the two make a trophy-winning pair. Gigi is very particular about the people she likes.

Rowan: Taemin’s mare. She’s a beautiful dark bay superstar who was his partner in the Olympic qualifying rounds. Taemin and Rowan render judges and riders speechless. While most are in awe of the power these two have, Baekhyun will always point out the things he thinks Gigi is better at. Taemin always reminds Baek that the bond is always first, then the ability.

Bruno: Kai’s retired eventing horse. He is a bulky chestnut who was a brute in the show ring but a soft gentle guy at the barn. Kai spends his free time trail riding him around the property. Bruno is also the go to horse at the center if someone is having a bad day and needs to save their lesson, and their confidence.

Misc

Moon: Taemin’s dalmation, a barn favorite. Attends every lesson and barn happening.

#superm #exo #shinee #nct 127 #wayv #kpop #baekhyun #taeyong #mark lee #wayv ten #taemin #exo kai #wayv lucas #enemies to lovers #saddle club #baekyong #superm fluff #superm fic #light smut #slow burn #superm smut

[miss-pearlescent]

A Work in Progress

This was a draft that I never got around to finishing until I was moved by all the support you guys were giving me...AND IT’S STILL NOT ACTUALLY COMPETE but I figured I would “talk” you all through the ending LOL Read on and you’ll understand.

Oh, and happy holidays!

“I would move a mountain for you.”

The tears started flowing and she couldn’t stop them. An ache settled deep within her chest as the book she was reading began to get blurry before her watery eyes. She lived for the pain and angst of romance novels, but she could never live through the misery of unrequited love herself.

“Sona?”

Speaking of...

She felt heavy fingers brush through her fine hair as the naked body behind her began to stir.

She wiped at the tears with the heavy sheets. “Hmm?” she asked, though her voice squeaked at the end.

“Sona, are you crying?”

“No,” she lied, even as she craned her neck back to see the sleepy demon prince rise from his sleep.

He rested his chin on her shoulder as he watched her with concern in his eyes. “What happened?”

Sona shook her head. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying.” He grabbed her by the waist and turned her around so she was resting on his chest. “Now tell me what Kai, the mighty Prince of Hell, can do for you.”

She rolled her eyes in amusement but closed her book to settle closer to him. “I was just reading a book.”

“Ah,” Kai murmured as if that told him everything. “What happened this time? The dragon ate the knight in shining armour and now the princess has to marry the big, scary beast?”

She cut him a look. “No, worse.”

“Worse?” he asked in an exaggerated voice. “What’s worse than being forced to marry a dragon?”

Burying her face into his chest, Sona took a deep breath. “Not knowing if the one you love loves you back,” she whispered. “The hero is about to die and he thinks the heroine is in love with somebody else. All he wants is for her to feel loved and do you know what he said just now, right as he was about to take his last dying breath?” She punctuated her words with tiny jabs at his chest.

Kai was tracing little circles along the back of her neck, comforting her. “What did he say?” he asked softly.

“He said he would move a mountain for her.” Sona sniffled and squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears. “A whole mountain!”

He let her wallow in her own sorrow for a moment. She clung to his chest, relishing in the comfort he provided but also wishing she could finish her novel at the same time. There was quite a bit left and she knew there were twists and turns around the corner. She just had to get through those to reach the happy ending.

Sona felt the little scoff that came from Kai. She rose her head and narrowed her eyes, daring him to laugh at her emotions.

He didn’t look at her, just continued to watch the spot on her shoulder where he drew shapes and lines. “He said he would move a mountain? Just one?” The corner of his lips kicked up as he gave her a sly look. “I’d part the seas and move a whole mountain range to create its own island if my woman wanted it.”

She snorted and laid her head back down. “This isn’t a competition.” She began tracing her own little drawings on his palm. “Besides, he’s a human, Mr. Mighty Prince of Hell. You’re not allowed to compare your powers to us.”

“You’re a pretty strong human yourself, Little Miss Wicked Witch of the West,” he teased. “I’m sure you could move a mountain or two yourself if you wanted.”

“I just got lucky at birth,” she said, referring to her ability to cast spells that influenced the weather. Then she thought about how her abilities got her to this place, running from her King straight into the arms and bed of the “enemy.” “Or maybe I got unlucky,” she mumbled with a shrug.

Kai gave a deep sigh but he kept his mouth shut. Sona knew how much he hated it when she disliked her own powers, but she had only started learning to contain the self-hate.

Growing up, Sona was raised in a kingdom of humans, where everybody was the same and nobody knew about the supernatural. Then her mom gave birth to a daughter who, at the age of 6, could ask a cloud to rain upon her mother’s crops in the middle of a drought that had originally caused a mass famine.

At first, the villagers had been frightened of Sona...until hunger took over and they knocked on her mother’s door to ask for rain on their own lands.

Though her mother had started with lies, saying there was no such thing as magic, Sona saw the desperation in her neighbours’ eyes and gave the farmers some rain during the night when nobody could see.

Her village flourished and things were great as Sona grew older. There was only one summer where officials were suspicious. It was hard enough to grow produce on the side of the mountain, but Sona’s mother was bringing carts and carts of crops to the market everyday.

After they had a suspicious official search their home, Sona knew she couldn’t overdo it with the weather anymore. She kept low until a second drought hit her kingdom years later.

The new King had heard of the remarkable growth of Sona’s village and sent soldiers to interrogate the people.

She didn’t like to think about that day because it was the last time she saw her mother before being dragged away to the King’s court.

There, her powers were honed and abused. She was locked up for days until she could cause floods that filled all the rice paddies, till she could bring the sun out in the middle of the night.

And she was forced into an engagement with the King.

It wasn’t until one of her guards saw her plans for an escape that he helped her leave the walls of the kingdom. She walked for days and days until she came upon a town inhabited by what she thought were monsters.

She remembered blacking out before waking up to see Kai’s face.

“What are your plans for today?” he asked, changing the subject and pulling her out of her reverie.

She smiled to herself, thinking of the past month where he patched her up and introduced her to a spellcaster in his outcast town who helped build her skills. Kai was the leader of this town on the other side of the mountain and she grew to love him day by day.

Which was why she wasn’t surprised when he told her he was a demon prince, banished from hell to live out his life on Earth.

Sona played with the chain around his neck. “I think I’ll go visit Mr. Oh this afternoon and bring his family some cake. It’s his grandson’s birthday.” Mr. Oh was the spellcaster who was surprised by Sona’s powers and excited to work with her. He was like a father figure to her. “What’s this?” she asked, pointing at the clover on Kai’s chain.

“It’s the protection charm you gave me,” he explained. She had given Kai a coin with a protection spell on it the day Mr. Oh had taught it to her. “I didn’t know where to keep the coin so I got it melted down into a clover and attached it to my neck. Now I won’t be able to lose it.”

She felt a smile cracking through her lips. “I like it.” She leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

He rolled her over to deepen it. “You’ll like this too.”

Sona moaned as a hand skated up her side, brushing her nipple in a tease.

And this was where her conscious fought with her.

The relationship she shared with Kai was so perfect, yet neither of them knew where they stood. When she had first climbed into his bed, it was like a magnet had brought them together. After that, they were unable to spend a night apart. And during the day, she longed to be close to him. She wanted to share all her thoughts and ideas with him.

But she knew his greatest wish was to go back home. Things were difficult on Earth, especially in a town where it rained often. And many days were a gloomy grey. In the middle of a week of rain, Sona broke her own rules just to part the clouds and let the sun peak through a bit.

She didn’t realize her heart would be the one to warm up when she saw Kai watching her with awe and pride.

So, selfishly, she tried everything she could to make him happy. She wanted him to stay despite knowing it was futile. He deserved to go back home, where he could be treated like the prince he was.

And where humans weren’t allowed unless they were dead.

---

OK I’ve let this “first chapter” sit here for a long while and I’ve tried to come back to it but I can’t so here is the rest of the plot:

The next day, they wake up to their village being seized by Sona’s kingdom’s army. Kai fights them and wins, but a soldier named Baekhyun finds Sona. Baekhyun is the one who freed Sona in the first place so even though Kai is like “WTFFFF IMMA KILL YOU,” Sona is like “lemme talk to Baekhyun.” Baek is like “yo, I admit defeat but like...you gotta come back with me to your kingdom.”

Kai is pissed.

Sona (the reasonable person she is) asks “why?”

Baekhyun: If you don’t, the king is gonna burn down the whole kingdom.

The kingdom is on the other side of the mountain. The inland side, so it doesn’t get much rain.

In comparison, Kai’s village is on the side of the mountain that faces the ocean and therefore gets hella rain.

The proper term for all of this is “rain shadow.” For reference, think of North America’s Rocky Mountains LOOOL

ANYWAY, Sona’s kingdom is dying once again because it’s a desert and only she was able to grow FUCKEN RICE IN A DESERT. So the king is calling her back or else he’s gonna set fire to a kingdom of starving people.

And why is Baekhyun so worried? BECAUSE HE’S GOT A GIRL BACK THERE ;______; He was ready to wife her!!!!!

Sona is like “nooooo :( moral duties!”

Kai’s like “FJKDALGHDKALFJDKSLJFDKALHGDKLSJ YOU CAN’T GO.....OK I KNOW YOU WANNA GO REALLY BAD BUT...JFKDALGHKS ok but like I’m coming.”

Sona’s like “no the humans hate demons. they’re gonna kill you :(((((((((( This is my fight.”

Kai’s like “LISTEN. TO. ME. LINDA.”

Ofc he has to be heroic and shit so Sona’s like “FINE. But you are only gonna be chaperoning me. I am NOT risking ur ass by taking you into a kingdom that hates anything ~magical~”

Kai agrees but more like “k watever”

ANYWAY, THEY GO.

Here is where I had a dilemma LOL I wanted them to go on a motorcycle because KIM JONGIN IS SO HOT ON A MOTORCYCLE LMFAO but why would a demon from a poor wittle village have a motorcycle....

So in my head, they rode on some motorcycle thingy that had a big black cloud veil and whatnot while Baekhyun rode his horse with the other nearly-dead soldiers behind them lol

They arrive at the kingdom and Kai is pissed af because he’s worried :( Yeah I hate when men do this because it’s a really bad way to channel your emotions but men are dumb and never change ALAS!

They get in a big fight and Sona has to leave to go into the kingdom while they’re still angry/ignoring each other.

Kai is all haughty and fuming, waiting in a tree and shit while he watches Sona be escorted past the gates of the kingdom....and the moment she is gone, HE STARTS REGRETTING EVERYTHING LMFAO

jokes on you!

Sona agrees to whatever the king says (idk what he says, lol my imagination didn’t care about this king) BUT THE KING GOES BACK ON HIS WORD BECAUSE HE’S SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT HIS KINGDOM IS PERISHING DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES OUT OF HIS CONTROL YET EVERYBODY THINKS IT’S HIS OWN FAULT so he sets fire to everything including himself. I feel like his brain’s going “If I can’t rule this kingdom, THEN NOBODY SHALL!”

He dies, but his orders were to have soldiers scattered around the kingdom so that once the king’s castle was lit on fire, these soldiers would know to start fires in their own places too.

Thankfully, they’re not ALL dumb as shit. Some decide that this is actually a bad idea, so they help evacuate whoever they can.

Ofc, our heroine helps too :’) She brings whoever she can out past the gates and then tries to bring some rain from the ocean.

While she’s working, she realizes that Kai is not at their meeting spot. She doesn’t see him at all, actually.

She’s scared but SHE HAS WORK TO DO!

So she’s all busy concentrating on bringing the rain past the mountains (she cannot gather enough water from the land around her to create a mass of precipitation because it’s a desert.......yes, i think about these things too)

BUT SHE’S STRUGGLING CUZ BITCH, THESE ARE SOME BIG MOUNTAIN RANGES AND IT WASN’T MEANT TO RAIN FOR ANOTHER MONTH.

Then she sees Kai running towards her carrying a whole cart of people (indeed, our man found a CART!)

She’s about to call him but then he runs back in and she’s like “OMFG I’M GONNA LOSE HIM” but that thought only stays for a split second cuz she still has to get the rain over here lol

The fire’s basically burned down the kingdom at this point. Kai has brought out many people (he’s fine in the fire because he’s a demon AND he has a cute protection charm hehehe) but then he sees Sona struggling and he looks up and sees the dark clouds forming on the other side of the mountain.

Guess what he does?

biiiiitch

Sona is like “O_O” when she suddenly looks over and KAI IS PUSHING THE MOUNTAIN RANGE OVER.

biiiitch he did that!

Rain pooooooooours down the mountain and starts dousing the fire. Problem is, everything is suddenly dark and the ground is slippery lol DIDN’T THINK OF THAT, HUH?

So they’re still scrambling to get survivors out. Towards the end, Sona is helping a family out when suddenly she slips because she’s human and there’s mud everywhere. Her ankle twists and she just sits there for a second as she sees Baekhyun call off the search. It’s been hours and everyone’s exhausted.

Kai turns back and starts walking towards Sona, and she’s shook because 1) HE’S HOT AF and 2) his eyes are blue and his hair is white...sound familiar??

THIS IS THE PERFORMANCE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-VX60sGRjo) THAT STARTED THIS WHOLE STORY IN MY HEAD LOOOOL SUCH A GOOD FANCAM! SUCH A GOOD LOOK! DO YOU SEE THAT CLOVER ON HIS NECK? YUM!

Anyway, he takes off his hat and holds out his hand with a smirk on his face and goes “Did I move enough mountains for you?”

JFKLADHGDKALFJDKSLGHDKALJFDKSL imma punch him

He pulls Sona up off the ground and sees that shes limping and suddenly drops his smirk. She’s like “no, it’s nothing” but ofc Kai has to be heroic and shit so he picks her up and VROOM VROOM they go off in their motorcycle back to the village LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

The whole way back though, they’re silent but for different reasons. Sona is hella sad because she’s sooooo in love with Kai but knows that she’s just drawing out something that’s gonna end badly. She wants to protect her heart, ya know!

Whereas Kai....has different reasons :)

So we get back to Kai’s place and Sona is washing up while Kai just sits on his little settee. When Sona’s done, she tells him to go wash up but he just grunts.

We love grunting. Why? CUZ HE’S BROODING?

WHY IS HE BROODING? DIDN’T THEY JUST SAVE A WHOLE KINGDOM?

Sona is thinking the same thing LOL but Kai directs her to lay down on the settee (isn’t it dirty, Kai??) and props her foot up on a couple pillows.

“Why do you still look like this?” she asks in a whisper, gently fingering through the strands of white on his head.

(a/n: sorry I had to /write/ that part out because it sets the mood a lot but DAMN i wanna barf at my own writing LOL just imagine everything is warm and candlelit, and Kai is attentively catering to Sona while she lounges on the settee)

Kai doesn’t meet her eyes. Just shrugs.

Okkkkkkk so obviously it’s a sensitive topic???

She continues to comb through his hair cuz it’s cute. And because he’s a wittle puppy (see: demon prince from hell), HE BREAKS WHEN SHE SCRATCHES THAT ONE SPOT ON HIS HEAD.

He grabs her wrist and takes deep gulping breaths.

Meanwhile, she holds her breath.

“I was banished from hell for not taking a mate.”

Her brows furrow and she starts to sit up but Kai pins her down with his hands. His blue eyes reflect the fire in the hearth.

“It was during mating season, and everyone was in a frenzy. My father found a girl for me. I remember she was so scared when she was brought into court.”

Kai takes a breath. Sona uses her other hand to stroke his hair, offering whatever comfort she could.

“I couldn’t do it.” He choked on his last syllable. “I couldn’t do such a horrible thing to a little girl who had screamed and cried until her voice was gone. They brought her to me when she barely had any fight left in her.”

Kai put his forehead against Sona’s shoulder. “Mating season meant you lost yourself. You had the hair and eyes of your inner demon, along with its mindset. But I refused to do anything to the poor girl, so I hid her away and sent her to the outskirts of the land.”

Sona let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. “You did what was right,” she whispered.

He shook his head. “She couldn’t go back to her parents who would sell her again. She didn’t have anywhere to go. I was banished before I could find her again.” His body was shaking with grief. “She could be dead because of me.”

Sona cried for him. Cried for the man that tried to do the right thing and still had everything turn out wrong. Cried for the young girl that had no choice in what was done to her. Cried for the fact that Sona herself could not turn back time and undo all of it.

They stayed like that on the settee—Kai crouching on the rug in front of her—for what seemed like hours.

When he rose, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy.

Sona pushed him toward the tub, insisting he’d feel better after having a wash.

He came out looking ragged still, but cleaner. He took a seat on the ground in front of her again, staring into the fire.

“So it’s mating season for you again?”

He nodded. “It comes every five to seven years. That’s another reason why my father banished me. He needed an heir and I was unwilling to produce one, so he turned to my next brother.”

“You don’t seem...” Sona searched for the word, “animalistic to me.”

Kai shrugged. “I don’t like to let the demon rule me. It’s hard to control my body once instinct takes over.”

“I see.” She stared at the ceiling and fought a blush creeping across her cheeks, trying not to think of all the inappropriate things Kai would do to her if “instinct” had taken over.

Except, he wasn’t letting it, was he? He didn’t want to have sex right now. He didn’t want a mate right now.

Sona tamped down her disappointment and put on a smile, turning her head to look at him. “Well, if—” She bit off her sentence with a squeak when she saw Kai’s blazing blue eyes staring back at her.

His nostrils flared. “Why do I smell your arousal, Sona?”

She opens her mouth but closes it again when he rises above her.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks in a growl.

That just made the ache between her legs even worse. “I-I was just wondering about the demon side of you.”

His eyes glinted and she swore she saw fangs as he cracked a devilish grin. “What would you like to know?”

“Oh, just general stuff.” She waved her hands in the air. “Like what you eat in Hell, how you communicate with other demons, how you—”

He cut her off by pressing the calf of her broken ankle against the back of the settee. “How we mate?” He hiked up her nightgown and grinned at the sight before him. “Keep your bad leg still and I’ll show you.”

Sona almost came just from the hunger in his eyes, but she snapped out of her haze and clamped her hands down between her legs. “No.”

Kai blinked and looked up. “No?”

“No,” she bit out. Her body was so ready, but she couldn’t keep hurting the both of them like this. “I can’t mate with you.”

The fire in Kai’s eyes died as he backed away, still holding onto her leg so it wouldn’t drop forcefully onto the pillows.

Talking felt like pushing lead from her throat. “We can’t do this anymore, Kai. We are torturing ourselves.” She took a deep breath. “You have to know that I love you so much and you are the best person I’ve ever met, but I can’t be the right mate for you.”

A line set between his brows. “Why not?” he bit out.

“Because I can’t be what you need. You need a queen to go with you into Hell and run a whole Hell-dom there. Someone who can bring you back home where you belong, where your powers can flourish.” She couldn’t stop the whimper that followed. “Not a human who holds you back on Earth.”

His thumb stroked her calf, a kindness she didn’t deserve. Her heart was breaking into two and he was still her providing comfort.

Next thing she knew, he was kissing her. Gently on the cheek at first and then slowly grazing her lips.

“Kai,” she whispered between pecks. “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “So do you want to be my mate?”

“Kai!” She pushed against his shoulders.

He caught her hand and kissed it. “I heard what you said and I still want you. I want you whether you can come to Hell or not. It doesn’t matter, because I feel at home when I’m with you.”

Sona shook her head through the tears. “That doesn’t make sense.”

He kissed her, hard. “If I left this village, would it still feel like a home to you?”

“Of course not.”

“Would you go back to your kingdom?”

She vehemently shook her head.

“Then where would you go?”

Sona licked her lips. “I...I don’t know.”

“Me neither.” He kissed her again, crawling between her legs. “I would try to find you. I would want to be with you for the rest of my life, if you would have me.”

She wrapped her good leg around his waist. “Then please take me.”

He chuckled and nipped her on the shoulder. “Then promise not to move your bad leg.”

(THEY DO IT)

OK that’s enough /writing/ LOL so they do the dirty and suddenly they’re mated and Sona’s ankle is healed. Why? BECAUSE SHE GOT SOME POWERS FROM HER MAN. And Kai suddenly has a purple aura around him and he can move a couple clouds with just a thought. How? BECAUSE HE GOT POWERS FROM HIS WOMAN.

And they can both transcend into hell cuz she’s no longer human-human, CUZ WHY? CUZ SHE’S GOT A DEMON BABY BAKING INSIDE OF HER MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

the end.

ok now it’s time for a quick shameless plug :3 Red Velvet came back so of course I had to cover it! Please check it out and give us a like if you can :’’‘‘)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFmPgY_6wWQ

#I've got like 40 drafts that range from 1k-20k words that I would like to finish and publish #This is one of them hehe #kai #exo #kai scenarios #exo scenarios #kpop scnearios #writing #fanfiction #kpop #fantasy