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#anyways its like yeah love transforms but will other people still accept you for that. are u someone who's willing to accept others for it
dnangelic · 7 months
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idc about allonormativity but sugisaki's handling of things is vague enough around the edges that i can still put forward the thematic thesis of 'anybody who doesn't want to be alone shouldn't be alone' and 'lives and people's souls/hearts, like art, can be freely shared with each other and witnessed in order to be good and beautiful' and that sort of thing is like almost the entire driving force of daisuke's character. to me.
#its only a tiny tweak from canon but the way i write daisuke its love Periodt that transforms him#any sort not just romantic. and hes a guy with pure agape baby hes got Loads of Passion#dark is his proof daisuke is dark's proof but it's only daisuke who's too shy to ever readily admit to anything#his self esteem is bad so he's always concerned that others might dislike him if he admits anything#the other niwas also struggled w dark but i don't think they ever struggled as much as daisuke#and yet daisuke's also the only tamer to meet dark's feelings at an equal place and actually willingly merge#dark won't ever say it but his own driving force too being a sense of surprisingly protective and righteous love#beginning with manisumea ending with the niwas. he steals the art because the hikari don't love and tend to destroy it#he wants to coexist with the niwa so he doesn't go on a rampage like krad does. love intermingles sorrow/hatred takes away#anyways its like yeah love transforms but will other people still accept you for that. are u someone who's willing to accept others for it#an insecurity can become a secret and that applies to just about anybody#daisuke's heart is one that bleeds for everything and everyone and that's actually always part of why he doesn't say anything#not just bc he doesn't want to get in trouble but he doesn't want to hurt people like riku either#alas to be wholly loved u have to be wholly witnessed.#ykno....#im rambling. aldkjlskjgkj#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#reference.
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ihopesocomic · 1 year
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Tbh I wish Proud was less of an asshole to justify his "It's just what a mane has to do to survive", to show how patriarcal societies, while much more opressive towards females than to males, are still toxic to men.
There is just no nuance. Every male is a sexist (sometimes homophobic because we can't have a story about LGBT+ characters without homophobia🙄) piece of shit who really loves Pride law even though it forces them to leave their homes and family to a world who gets harder to survive thanks to the longer dry season (Which is supposed to be happening but we don't see any evidence of it 🙄🙄🙄) , and gives a higher success rate to those who are monstruous enough to kill Fathers and their children.
I guess his name is a good indicator of how much he is practically the living incarnation of Pride Law (His name is fucking PROUD), which could just be a really bad way to show that he's Lite, but I dunno, I feel like it would be much better if the show made him more of a morally gray character to show how destroying the patriar- I mean Pride Law would be better not just for lionesses, but for manes as well.
I suppose what I want is Proud to be completely transformed into a whole new character because this dude right now is just the walking and talking embodiment of everything wrong in MP's world and I think that's boring.
Ugh you have no idea how much I agree with you on how this show was a completely missed opportunity to show how the patriarchy negatively affects men and it's perpetuation just further hurts the future generation, even if people can sit down and think about it and agree with how it's harmful. But then again it was a missed opportunity for many things, and considering how much this show revels in demonizing its male characters no matter how little sense it makes, I can't say that I would've expected them to handle such a complicated topic with any ounce of sensitivity.
One of Proudmane's biggest problems is he's just Quickmane But Worse™ so Quickmane could've easily just existed on his own as being the talking embodiment of everything wrong in MP's world. And Proud should have been something different, to present the opposite side of Pride Law of someone who isn't Fire, someone who's been out on their own for longer and the consequences of that. But he's not, he's exactly the same as Quickmane, right down to having the same exact purpose to his entire existence lol
Proudmane's other problem is, they literally set him up to be sympathetic right after setting him up to be an asshole, only to make him become an asshole in the end anyway (which begun the 'Quickmane may be ableist but he's better because he's not homophobic' conversation lol)
Even then the whole "Its just what a mane has to do to survive" is not only debunked by what we see with our own eyes in the previous episode, which is that he was in a big group of males and eating well, which even according to Fire was a good ol time. The statement is also directly contradicting what he did... seconds beforehand. Which was... what was it... oh yeah threatening to kill Nothing, who wasn't a hinderance on his survivability lol Pretty sure killing cubs is also not a hinderance to his survivability, since 1) This aspect of Pride Law isn't exactly reinforceable, and 2) This particular pride has no qualms about accepting a mane who doesn't kill babies, case in point, uh...... the first fucking episode.
That whole scene in episode 5 annoys me for a variety of reasons lol like Proud having a literal debate with Nothing about why he should kill her, when he could. I dunno. Just do it.
But let's pretend for a moment that being a no-mane/prideless (is there really a difference here? Do we really need two different words for males and females? lol I hate the word 'no-mane' it's so dumb) in this universe is as bad as everyone says it is. Let's pretend that being prideless is closer to being a death sentence.
We could've had first-hand insight into a typical male lion's life in this world. From learning that their father murdered someone else's father, and children, in order to have a pride (and that the feelings of the pride itself on the matter is irrelevant to one's own survival). The near-constant fear knowing that one day that same thing could happen to you and your siblings and father, and knowing one day he's going to have to do the same. Being raised to believe he's worthless unless he gains control of a pride, taught to treat lionesses like they're inferior. The traumas of being forced to leave his home, and be subjected to starvation and facing other dangers alone, and how being alone can seriously impact a social creature's mental health. But he believes that in order to survive he has to be just as horrible as everyone else, and his justification is Pride Law and survival. In order to live, you have to exploit everyone's weaknesses, because it's for your own good. And then he's going to raise his children the same way. Not only showing the cycle in real time, but that also could've shown that Pride Law doesn't in fact benefit males like everyone is told it does, and that in many instances they're victims of the system as well, just differently.
And that's where you'd bring in Fire or Feather to be his foil, to show no, you don't have to be awful in order to survive, and you should reject everything about Pride Law. (And Nothing could raise Feather that way, and/or Fire could come to his own conclusions since he was allowed to live in the first place, but only because his sister went against Pride Law from the start, and he either didn't think it an option to do so, or felt too scared to do it himself. Him being alive to this day should allow him to have new perspectives on Pride Law. Either way Nothing's sole duty was to end Pride Law, but the writers don't permit her to succeed lol)
But nah, its more dramatic and therefore more entertaining if you just have your villain be a homophobic sexist prick that the show tries gaslighting you into feeling bad for. Instead of having the villain be the patriarchy, it's just men who are the villains lol And if you're a nice guy, you die, sorry.
As a super huge lesbian, man-hating (intentional or otherwise) is not the progressive messaging people think it is. - Cat
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spinningbuster98 · 25 days
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Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (1992) Ending: Super Sonic Sweeping
I like Hill Top Zone!
Yeah sure it’s blue Emerald Hill with a mountain aesthetic and some lava and, level design wise, it’s definitely the weakest of the game, but I really vibe with both the aesthetic and especially the music, they give the stage a really unique feel to it that’s very cozy
Mystic Cave is a favorite of mine. It’s a bit cramped and the pit of doom is a bonafide dick move but how many levels in this series are set within dark, spooky caves?
Oil Ocean is where the game seemingly starts to drop off for some people, but personally this level is fine, the only issue being the sea horses being dicks
Metropolis on the other hand is a bit of a bitch
Now I will say that this level is nowhere close to being as hard as people always say. Sonic games in general tend to be pretty low in terms of platformers ranked by difficulty. Metropolis is easier than your typical Megaman level, Hell it’s way easier than just about anything in Castlevania 3. The issue isn’t Metropolis’ difficulty, it’s its tendency to feature some very annoying enemy placement.
Let’s be clear here: the player running into obstacles that come from off screen too quickly to react is a universal issue across ALL 2D Sonic games. ALL of them, with pretty much no exception. It’s an inherent flaw of the formula that you can’t help but run into when you decide to have a game be this fast while also being a side scroller. It’s just something that you’ll need to accept on some level if you plan on enjoying these games, Sonic 3 as well, as good as that game is, is not exempt from this. But even by those standards Metropolis can just get straight up annoying with it. The worst are those sections where you slowly ride those cog wheels upwards, but if an asteron hits you with its spikes you plummet all the way down, you gotta off screen the thing in order for it to come back down and it’s just a slog. Plus it’s 3 acts rather than one, mainly due to one of them being from a scrapped level. I also think that, aesthetically, it’s nowhere close to Scrap Brain. It’s...fine with its gear theme, but it doesn’t feel like Eggman’s base, and it doesn’t carry any environmentalist messages with it. I actually won’t knock off Sonic 2 for not being as “environmental” as the first game though. I mean when you really think about it the only Sonic games that truly commited to that angle were Sonic 1 and CD (Colors too, if you count Planet Wisp), the latter pretty much being a jacked up Sonic 1 anyway. Sonic 2 only has Eggman kidnap animals, but otherwise it’s just about stopping him from using his Star Wars knockoff. It’s a standard save the world story. So is Sonic 3. And SA1. And SA2 etc
Again I don’t “hate” Metropolis Zone, I think you can do much worse in terms of bullshit hard stages (this isn’t even a blip on a sub atomic radar when compared to Gate’s Stages from Mega Man X6), but it’s definitely that one part of the game that makes me go “alright it’s that time now”
You know what makes it more palatable though? Super Sonic
I don’t wanna get into any discourse over Super Sonic’s use as a plot device in later games, I’m referring to him as a purely gameplay element in these games when I say that I absolutely love him here
Of course it’s partly due to the inherent satisfaction of getting such an insanely OP powerup as a reward for completing 7 hard special stages, but it’s also because Super Sonic is not a literal win button and still requires some skill to use properly: you need to collect at least 50 rings before you can use him, you gotta keep collecting more in order to keep the transformation going, speed may be greater yeah but this also makes him harder to control over tiny platforms so you have to be careful. There’s always something going on when you play as Super Sonic, which means you can’t just sleep on the controller when you activate him, you have to put in the effort to actually MAINTAIN him.
My favorite aspect is how he, in a way, can encourage you to explore the levels more throughly. Since you need rings to maintain the transformation you will likely have to scour the place for extra rings and ring monitors, which keeps giving you an incentive to explore and be rewarded for it even after getting all 7 Emeralds, which Sonic 3 will be especially good at doing
I have mixed feelings on the Death Egg Robot. On the one hand I like how climactic it feels, especially for such a simple early 90s platformer and while on the one hand I appreciate the challenge...it can also be way too steep, mostly due to this game having limited continues
Now this was an issue in the first game as well, but it’s worse here because, simply put, the game is longer and you stand to lose more, especially the Chaos Emeralds. Plus getting extra continues here is harder: in Sonic 1 you just had to collect at least 50 rings while inside a Special Stage which wasn’t too hard, here you need at least 10K points at the end of an Act, which requires you to both beat it in a short time and collect a big number of rings without losing them. If you’re using Super Sonic this may paradoxically make reaching this goal harder since he drains rings. While I haven’t gotten a gameover in this game since I was 7, I definitely remember it feeling like quite a kick to the nuts
And I know that some people may say that this stuff was common place back then but...not really? Games like Castlevania and Megaman had infinite continues plus password systems to help you get back to where you left off. The most Sonic 1 and 2 have is a cheat code that brings up the level select...and that just feels wrong
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versadies · 3 years
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Heya! May I request a childe x reader where the reader is an influencer who does 3am challenges (like stormedy)? Like when childe shows her his foul legacy form and he’s floating she thinks it was the ghost and screams ‘OMG YOUR POSSESSED BECAUSE YOUR FLOATING! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN THO I SWEAR I SAID BYE ON THE OUJABOARD-‘ and childe would be like ???> Or maybe at 3am childe wakes up to his s/o screaming ‘WERE ALL GONNA DIE SIRI IS GONNA KILL US!’ anyways thank you ^^
POSSESSED (modern!au, hc scenario)
penpal: hope you don't mind me making this sort of a crackfic. this prompt made me laugh a lot ngl
pairing/s: childe x gn!influencer!reader
warning/s: spoilers to liyue archon quest (all acts) and mentions of spirit-related stuff (please do not try to use the oujia board!)
sypnosis: one night while you two are getting ready to go to bed, childe decides to show you his foul legacy transformation, thinking that you might leave him because of it. that is until he accidentally scares you, making you think your lover is possessed by a spirit you talk to in the ouija board.
note: i decided to make this au like the one i did with ningguang x reader anniversary fic whereas teyvat is more modern but still has its special stuff (like the adeptus, visions, archons, etc.). with that aside, enjoy!
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-> out of all the things childe didn't expect himself to do, he did not expect himself to date an influencer.
-> at first, he was confused with the purpose of your content and has so many questions about it– you're actually willing to risk your life for those who watch your videos? do you actually sleep? how do you know if there's a ghost or not?
-> it wasn't until he sees your reactions that he starts to understand why so many people love your videos. although half of your viewers don't believe that what you're doing is true, they only watch solely to be entertained from your reactions.
-> he honestly doesn't mind the screaming and the noises you'd make while he's trying to sleep. in fact, he'll sometimes actually join you on your so-called adventures and finds himself having fun with you. if you beg for it, he'll even record you.
-> surely with him accepting your career even if it affects his sleeping schedule, you'd also accept his despite what he did throughout his job, right?
-> ever since childe told you about his job, he was thinking if whether or not he should tell you about his delusion. he's honestly relieved that you didn't mind him being a harbinger, but is it safe to say that you wouldn't mind him having the one thing that could potentially kill him if he's careless enough?
-> after countless of thoughts that won't go away, he decided to tell you about his second secret one night when you're not recording another video.
"where are you going?" you ask, sitting up from your bed as you watch your lover walking out to the door, not bothering to turn on the lights. "i'm going to uh, show you my secret?" childe explains, not taking a glance of you as he walks out.
as soon as he closes the door, you were alone. you would be lying if you said you don't want to at least take a peek of what childe is doing outside of the room. does he have something you don't know of? is he actually just making an excuse to give you another expensive gift? or was he just trying to scare you?
suddenly you heard the door creek open, causing your breath to hitch in surprise.
"...childe?" you asked, trying to turn on the light. you took note of how his footsteps are oddly.. loud along with how he's being quiet. is he purposefully stomping on the ground?
as soon as you turn on the lights, you screamed.
"OH MY GOD!" you yelled, frantically crawling backwards from the now floating creature. "BEGONE SATAN! B-BEGONE!"
"y/n wait, it's me, childe–" you scream even more in surprise from the creature's voice. how can a voice go that deep?! you thought to yourself.
"OH MY GOD CHILDE IS THAT YOU?! ARE YOU POSSESSED?!" you shriek, falling from your bed without realizing it. "I'M SO SORRY CHILDE, I SWEAR– I SAID GOODBYE TO THE OUJIA BOARD, I MADE SURE OF IT!"
as you continue to try to back away from childe, he watches in both confusion and amusement. "y/n calm down, it's just my–"
"OMG DON'T WORRY CHILDE, I'LL GET THAT DEMON OFF FROM YOUR BODY!!"
he then sighs. this is going to take a while.
30 minutes have passed, the two of you finally settled the conversation calmly– with childe having to turn back to normal in order to calm you down from the fright.
"uh, are you alright now?" he asks, giving you a glass of water as the both of you sat down by your shared bed.
"uhm, yeah, yeah." you replied, voice hoarse from screaming so much. "sorry about that, that was uhm.. uncalled of me to react inappropriately."
"oh it's fine, it's uh, understandable really."
the both of you slowly went silent, both embarrassed and awkward with the situation you're in.
"so..." you place your drink by the night stand. "do you usually... use that form whenever you fight??"
childe shook his head, his shoulders tenses. "not exactly. it's only for emergencies since it uh, has some side effects if i use it too long."
your eyes widens slightly. "oh."
he looks at you nervously. "...do you... hate me for it? for having it?"
you shook your head instantly. "no, no. if anything, i think it looks... cool." you confessed, chuckling to yourself. "i was just really surprised because it wasn't exactly what i was thinking when you said you want to show me something."
he smiles, relaxing his shoulders. "well, your reaction is hilarious–"
"w-well in my defense, i was playing with the ouija board the other night! you know how i am." you defended yourself.
before childe could comment, the both of you heard a loud thump by the room beside yours, causing the both of you to flinch.
"...please tell me that's one of your side effects for your uhm, other form."
"...only if you actually have a footage of yourself saying goodbye to the oujia board, then i might answer your question."
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bigskydreaming · 3 years
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Hi! I was reading a fanfic and it brought up Roy and Dick's fight, which I see a lot of in fics but never what they fought about and consequently why they don't talk. I thought it was a vague excuse/reason why Roy was Jason's friend not Dick's anymore but this fic brought up when Dick was batman so I was wondering if there was actually a fight between them? Btw I really enjoy your metas! They're v thought out and well articulated. Also it's v easy to separate what's your opinion and what's fact which is. Very helpful for me
Yeah this is one hundred percent a fanon thing that's kept deliberately vague to justify why Roy in his friendship with Jason seems to have no positive thoughts or concerns about Dick whatsoever. Now granted, Dick and Roy are not nearly as close in the New 52 as they were pre-Reboot. The lack of their friendship there is definitely one of the things I disliked most about the Reboot - and I actually don't care if Jason and Roy are friends tbh, its the total erasure of his history with Dick as if he can't be friends with both, that like, bugs most.
But so like, yeah, Roy and Dick aren't super close when they interact on the Titans in the New 52, but there's literally nothing in any of their interactions that explains the complete absence of him from Roy's life or a reason that Roy would like, hate him the way he tends to in a lot of Jason-centric fics.
When you factor in pre-Reboot stuff though, it starts to get a LOT more.....uh wyd? And this is why I have trouble buying that people just write Roy and Jason the way they do because its the only thing they know from recent comics. Like one, most fans talk about how they don't even read the source comics, so there's no reason their knowledge of the characters or events would be limited to just recent comics if they're going off wiki summaries and scans anyway. And second, most fans AREN'T limited in their knowledge to just recent comics.
Like, the second people start writing Roy and Jason and Kori but with their pre-52 characterizations and references to events from THAT timeline, it all gets very messy, the way they're like, completely antagonistic towards Dick a lot of the time. Because Roy and Dick were always solid. Yes, they fought. A lot. But they always, ALWAYS made up afterwards. They had conflict about Roy's drug addiction - it didn't stop Dick from being there to support him through rehab, or Dick being the first person Roy called to help him get Lian after he learned of her existence. Dick literally held Lian before Roy ever did? He's the one who first put her in Roy's arms for the first time.
(Which is the prime grudge I and most Dick Grayson fans have about Roy and Jason fics which make Jason like, the absolute apple of Lian's eye. If you want to expand Lian's circle of loved and trusted ones to include Jason as Roy's friend and thus her uncle, like go for it! But there's zero reason that should require invalidating and erasing the fact that Dick was this little girl's adored godfather and uncle for pretty much her entire life. And the way Dick is just shoved offstage from Lian's life entirely, to slot Jason into his place as though they're completely interchangeable, its like....THAT'S the kind of thing that gets people irey about how Jason 'steals' Dick's dynamics and character relationships.
Because there's nothing saying they both can't be major players in Roy and Lian's lives! But just that they're not interchangeable! You need to develop the specific role Jason plays there WITHOUT just overwriting everything Dick actually did in relation to the two of them pre-Flashpoint, which is what you're drawing from the second you write Lian, unless you're specifically going with the few appearances we've had of her within literally just the last year.
But I mean, when people just search and replace Dick Grayson in all Roy and Lian's pre-Reboot stories and act like Jason was the one doing all of that instead.....why wouldn't fans of the source material be annoyed by a character getting credit for interactions and things done for Lian and Roy that Jason literally NEVER DID, while at the EXACT SAME TIME, conjuring some mysterious, unnamed 'Falling Out' that Roy and Dick had, that was clearly all Dick's fault, and resulted from him being basically excised entirely from Roy and Lian's lives?
Same with Kori, for the record, and like despite being Dick's ex, she and Dick have NEVER been like, estranged? She and Dick have often been close even after their breakup. None of it makes any sense, and the fact that a lot of fans don't even try to make it make sense or justify it, and expect other fans to just be fine with settling for an inexplicable reversal of Dick's every actual dynamic with these characters while setting up Jason to occupy the exact same role Dick played in these other characters' lives, like.....lol. Its fun.)
Anyway, back to your question, like, there are fights you can go with pre-Reboot as the source of various conflicts between Dick and Roy - but again, I maintain its just as crucial that they're always written as getting past them. They have a very tempestuous relationship because they are the two people MOST likely to call each other on their shit, two of the two people WITH the most shit in common due to the parallels in their childhoods and the roles they've occupied in the Titans and the superhero community in general, and the two people most resistant to being called out on their shit by each other, lol. Mostly in that case because like, they do recognize that they have a lot in common and understand each other very well, so the second the other is calling them out for something, they're usually like "ugh, if HE'S saying this, its probably true and I am just not prepared yet to be wrong about this. I need more time being unjustifiably rawr about things." Its like that thing where they both look at each other doing something that feels familiar or calls back to their own reasons for doing something and they're like ugh I'm in this picture and I don't like it.
So they clash. A lot. But always with the implicit bedrock of like, there's nothing either of them can do or say to the other that will push the other away for good.
They fought over Roy replacing Dick as leader of the Titans when Dick's wedding fell apart, even though Roy actually didn't want to do it and was kinda pushed into it by the government, but again, Dick like, got over it and realized it was for the best and forgave Roy for it that very same issue. And on and on. It always went like that. So there's plenty of stuff that can be used or pointed at as a source of conflict between the two, but the part I'll always call unbelievable is the idea that they never make up after one of these fights. Why now? What fight, specifically, is so bad between them that despite everything else they've gone through AND gotten past, they can't get past this one? Y'know?
So yeah, that's my take on this. There is no definitive falling out between Dick and Roy as many fics like to point to in order to shove him offscreen and make room for Jason in Roy and Lian's lives, and personally, I just don't find it necessary and I actually think it makes Roy look REALLY bad. Because when you're not specifically detailing all the things that Dick has actually DONE for Roy, the lengths to which he's been there for his friend, and like, specifically invalidating each and every one of them as something that never happened in a particular fic, then literally anyone who reads that fic and has their own awareness of Dick and Roy's friendship is kiiiiiinda likely to be reading that and thinking wow what an ungrateful asshole, when Roy's just written as bitching about Dick with Jason and sandbagging him without any real explanation as to WHY, beyond just 'oh they had a fight years ago.'
(And coming up with some random awful thing that Dick did to justify Roy hating him now isn't like, a superior alternative, lmao, because again, its still just trashing one character for the sake of getting him out of the way of two other characters' friendship and people are going to think what they think about that).
Anyway, my now standard stock disclaimer that like, there doesn't actually need to be a canon fight obviously, for people to just write things this way and handwave that Dick and Roy had an epic falling out years ago and now they just hate one another or whatever, or just Roy hates him or vice versa. Obviously people are free to do what they want. They don't need a reason other than "I want to write it this way so Jason and Roy are friends and Jason doesn't have to 'share' him with Dick or have his friendship be overshadowed by their greater history together." That just happens to be a reason that no Dick Grayson fan is ever really going to be happy about, lol, for what should be perfectly obvious reasons, so it honestly shouldn't be surprising to people that fans of the source material often gripe about it.
Because yeah fanfic is a tremendous opportunity to transform the source material into something better, but if what's better for some fans actively takes away what was working perfectly well for other fans the original way, they're going to say that. Especially in a fandom where so many new fans take their view of the characters and their dynamics from fics rather than the source material - when fandom has that much of an influence on what new fans perceive to be 'canon,' fans are perfectly within their right to emphasize what is ACTUALLY canon and what isn't, so that new fans at least have the opportunity to determine for themselves what take they want to go with, instead of just accepting at face value that the nature of say, Dick and Roy's relationship is just that Roy hates Dick because of some mumble mumble ancient history vague mumble details not found mumble mumble fight.
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miraculouscontent · 3 years
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You’re getting one reply, my dude.
Chat Noir did NOT fall in love with Ladybug on first sight. It was kinda the same way as with Luka; she was little awkward and anxious at first, but later showed how amazing she is. This is what made BOTH Luka AND Chat fall in love with her. So I don't understand why you see Luka positively and Chat negatively.
“First sight” is referring to “first episode,” so “Origins” for love square and “Captain Hardrock” for Lukanette. That’s not even the issue
Also, no. Luka was charmed by Marinette before he saw how “amazing” she was (at best, he heard about the photo curse breakage from Juleka given that the “Reflekta” picture is hanging where Luka can clearly see it from his bed), and then he fell deeper with the whole, “that girl is incredibly brave” line, whereas Chat Noir only got big heart eyes and started being interested in Ladybug when she was doing “amazing things.”
Marinette disliked Adrien at first. That was due to the situation.
...Yeah? A very dumb situation and misunderstanding that led to needless drama and the briefest one-sided “Enemy to Friend to Crush” subplot that I have ever seen and still made the jump all the more jarring? Lukanette’s “problem” revolves around the love square existing, not misunderstandings that hold no weight or value (even Adrimi is guilty of this because Kagami thinks that Adrien loves Marinette; Lukanette is the only ship free of misunderstandings), which is why it’s so ridiculous to me when people say “you can’t ship Lukanette because Adrien/love square,” because shipping Lukanette (as with any other Marinette ship) would usually imply that the love square isn’t a problem anymore..
And he din't lie. Adrien said that he's never had any friends BESIDE CHLOE.
Ohohooookay, now you are literally lying about what is said in the actual “Origins” episode, or just not telling the full truth.
Because yes, Adrien did say that he’s never had any friends besides Chloe... to Nino.
Adrien: I've known Chloé since I was a little kid. I know she's not perfect, but I can't throw her under the bus. She's like my only friend.
But what does he say when it’s time to clear the air with Marinette?
Adrien: Hey. I just wanted you to know that I was only trying to take the chewing gum off your seat, I swear. I've never been to school before. I've never had friends.
He tells her that he’s never had friends, yet he tells Nino that Chloe is “like his only friend” and will go on later in “Malediktator” to explicitly say that Chloe is his friend.
Adrien being Chloe’s friend in “Origins” was a huge dealbreaker for both Alya and Marinette, then Adrien lied to her and said that he’s never had any friends (which, I get it, a lot of people miss because I fully admit that the atmosphere in the umbrella scene is really good and you will miss it if you’re a heavy shipper not focusing on the details; you can say it a nicer way by going, “he worded it poorly” or “the writers are bad at dialog,” but the fact is that he told her something that wasn’t true), which started their relationship on false pretenses. It’s just like in “Gamer” where he exaggerates (whether intentionally or otherwise) to fish for someone’s pity/sympathy/forgiveness.
Adrien has tried and actually confessed his love to Ladybug. Ladybug knows that Chat loves her. Marinette has never gotten the chance to do that. She's also sending mixed signals when she panics.
So when Marinette would have the chance to confess, she doesn't and instead denies it. This isn't her fault, but it does mean that Adrien can't be sure. She's told him that she's not in love with him. So you can't really compare Chat and Marinette.
Yes I absolutely can and I absolutely will, because Adrien not being sure about how she feels sure didn’t stop him when Ladybug has repeatedly pushed him away when he’s leaned close to her/tried to kiss her hand. Like, wow that’s sure interesting how “Marinette might love someone else, maybe these hearts are friendly” (because yes, he would absolutely be dense enough for that) didn’t stop him from confessing to her in “Chat Blanc” the instant he thought she was Ladybug.
Same with “Stormy Weather 2,” he doesn’t even consider the what ifs of if she were in love with him and what his reaction would be, and “Weredad” is basically a full confirmation that he’s not interested in her. He’s basically like, “Meh, she doesn’t love me, so it doesn’t matter.”
Ladybug also hasn't said ,,I don't feel about you that way". She kind of talked around it because she doesn't want to hurt him.
My dude, my bro, my guy, don’t be in my inbox to come at me with arguments unless you’re ready for me to pull out the transcripts.
Ladybug in “Glaciator“: Listen, I don't wanna play around with your feelings. It would be the same as lying to you. I don't wanna do that. You're more than a partner, Cat Noir. You're my friend. And I'd never wanna lie to a friend.
Cat Noir: Why do you think it'd be lying?
Ladybug: Because there's this boy I...
Adrien later, a direct confirmation to the audience that he’s aware that Ladybug doesn’t feel that way for him: Perhaps Ladybug will love me someday. I mean, like I love her.
Ladybug in “Frozer” because clearly that message didn’t get through anyway: I can't accept this rose from you. I told you already. I'm in love with someone else. (after which he asks about “what if this guy didn’t exist” which means literally nothing and is just him reaching unless he’s planning to enact a murder which he obviously isn’t)
Ladybug in “Ladybug” because he’s still hoping for no reason: But the real Ladybug's heart still belongs to someone else.
Ladybug again in “Miracle Queen”: I can't be in love with you Cat Noir, you know that.
Seems pretty clear to me.
Besides, it wasn't the fact that Marinette confessed nor the fact they knew their identities that the world ended. It was because Gabriel was still Hawkmoth, so he manipulated the situation to his advantage.
Yes? And then Chat Blanc told her that “our love did this,” which puts blame on Marinette. That’s my point (though I’ll let Chat Blanc off the hook for that one since he’s akumatized... however it still doesn’t make much sense as to how he knows that Gabriel saw him transform unless he knew that Gabriel was watching from somewhere (it was Nathalie and Gorilla actually); he could’ve just presumed that Gabriel had known for a while, there was no evidence he saw that told him it was him transforming into Chat Noir in front of Nathalie and Gorilla that tipped Gabriel off and it’s also super unfair to blame Marinette for it anyway when it was Gabriel behind this whole thing but sure, just make Marinette feel at fault for the world almost ending).
Because that’s what the love square is all about; making Marinette feel bad about liking a boy, Marinette being humiliated for trying to confess to said boy, the universe constantly sabotaging her whenever she manages to do something right, having Marinette reconsider her feelings for Chat Noir AND blush at his cheek kiss after he ditched her as Adrien (presumably; we never saw Gabriel tell Adrien he couldn’t go and Chat Noir made plans with Ladybug as if he planned to ditch them even if Gabriel didn’t do anything) to go prepare a date with Ladybug (wow that sure is interesting how we don’t get an equivalent moment for Marinette from Adrien in “Chat Blanc” at the end, almost like they only care about making Chat Noir feel good about himself and not Marinette), then get mad when Ladybug doesn’t show up even after she tells him that she has prior plans, throwing a tantrum mid-battle and forcing her to apologize first before he’s finally like, “no... I’m sorry,” and then has the gall to add, “Maybe another time.”
Adrimi didn’t need to exist to torment Marinette. The love square already does a good enough job of that and I despise its very existence in all aspects of the writing.
Chat Noir got his damn closure, he just refuses to give up on the very first girl he saw when he went out heroing (I thought he just wanted to make friends but I guess he decided that wasn’t enough for him and “making friends” was immediately sidelined in favor of chasing after “his lady” (ugh)), who he doesn’t know the likes/dislikes of, who he can’t know the identity of, and who he can’t see all parts of because she has to maintain a professional attitude or everyone in Paris is going to die.
Marinette still hasn’t gotten her closure, so it’s no wonder to me why she’s still pining and struggling, especially when people like Alya keep pushing for the love square even when she asks her for help seeing Adrien as a friend.
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knaite-solo · 4 years
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Dangerous - Zuko x Reader
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Summary: When you don't leave your tent, Zuko gets worried and decides to do something about it. 
Pairing: Zuko x Waterbender!Reader
Genre: Fluff with some comedy
Warnings: Swearing and period stuff
Word count: 2856
That day, you didn't leave your tent.
Zuko was very attentive, but it didn't take much effort to realize that there was something wrong with you. It was unusual for you to avoid talking with the rest of the group. You always liked to interact with others and help even in the smallest tasks.
So when the hours went by, and you didn't leave, he started to get really concerned. The prince began to walk to your tent until he sensed a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to see who it was, he found Sokka staring at him very seriously. So serious that it didn't suit his goofy character.
"Don't go in there." He said in a warning tone.
"What? Why?" Zuko asked with a confused expression.
"Just don't." Sokka looked around as if he was seeking for a hidden enemy and then whispered. "It's dangerous. Trust me, man."
Zuko decided not to enter your tent, at least not at that moment. Sokka's warning had left him confused. What could be so dangerous about you? He decided to gather more information. Maybe Toph or Aang could help.
                                          ☆
"So, what do you think?" Zuko asked Toph, who was lying on a stone while playing with her space rock.
"Probably some silly stuff." The earthbender said while changing her rock to numerous shapes.
"But Sokka said it was dangerous. Maybe she is ill or something." The prince tried to think about other possibilities. Toph just looked extremely tired of the conversation.
"Well, I tried to talk to her earlier in the morning..."
"And?"
"She cursed me for opening the tent and let light enter her eyes." Toph blew a few strands of hair in an annoyed attitude. "Sokka usually says dumb things, so I never thought I would agree with him on something. But he's right."
She stopped playing with her space rock and transformed it back in a bracelet, putting it in her arm.
"I don't know what happened, but I don't give a shit anyway."
Zuko just listened to Toph and tried to imagine you cursing her for just trying to talking with you, and he just couldn't. You were such good friends with everybody, especially Toph since she wasn't into girly things, neither were you. Both of you were so close that once he found out you two playing in the mud. Toph throwing mud at you with her earthbending and you with your waterbending. You just were Toph's best friend. Why would you treat her so badly out of nowhere?
"Thanks for the information, I think..." The prince said indecisively. He didn't know what to say since he noticed that Toph was lying about not caring about your mood change.
"It's was a pleasure talking to you, Sparky. Sadly I can't say the same about Y/n."
                                            ☆
"Are you sure she did that?" Aang was brushing Appa's fur while listening to Zuko talk about your weird attitude with Toph.
"Yes. And Toph was really mad. More than usual." The prince couldn't forget the eartbender's expressions as she talked about you. It was a mix of anger and deception.
"Maybe Y/n ate something bad?"
"But Sokka said that it was dangerous to go in her tent. I don't think it's food poisoning." Zuko also couldn't forget Sokka's serious expression. If it were in another context, it would be hilarious.
"Sokka and Katara had a strange fever not long ago." The airbender finally finished brushing Appa. The sky bison looked joyful. "They said strange things and couldn't do anything alone. Maybe it could be it."
"And how the fever stopped?"
"Well..." Aang let out a nervous chuckle. "They had to suck some frozen frogs."
"FROZEN WHAT-'' Zuko's eyes widened.
"MAYBE SHE ISN'T SICK, I DON'T KNOW!"
"HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND FROZEN FROGS HERE?" Zuko was already thinking about the worst.
"HOLY SHIT! CAN'T YOU ASSHOLES STOP SCREAMING? YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS!" Toph appeared out of nowhere while complaining and covering her ears.
"Why you guys keep using these bad words in front of Appa and Momo?" Aang asked in a withered tone. "They're innocent creatures..."
                                           ☆
Zuko was hopeless. Nobody seemed to be able to explain what was wrong with you and the list of people he could ask was almost over. There was only one person left.
"Katara." He called but she didn't seem to hear.
The waterbender was kneeling on the edger of a river while washing some clothes and sheets. She would submerge the fabrics in the water, rub them, and then dry them with her waterbending. Being a waterbending master had its advantages. She always used her bending in everyday activities, making things a thousand times easier. It was impossible not to look at her and not to be amazed at how easily she connected with the water and managed to manipulate it.
But then Zuko noticed that one of the sheets was different from the others. It had a red stain on it.
"Is this blood?"
Katara almost jumped after hearing that question. Because she was distracted, she hadn't noticed when the prince had approached much less he had called her and now she had been caught with that incriminating sheet in hand. And not any incriminating sheet, it was your incriminating sheet.
"B-Blood? I don't know what you're talking about!" Katara quickly hid the sheet behind her.
Zuko tried not to roll his eyes. He might be trying to become a better person, but that didn't mean he would accept to be made a fool of.
"I can still see the sheet behind you." He just said in a bored tone.
Katara blushed. She hated to lie but she hated to be caught in the lie the most.
"Sorry." She stopped trying to hide the cloth. "I didn't want you to see that."
"Why not?" Zuko looked again at the red stain. Now he was absolutely sure it was blood.
"It's kinda embarrassing to explain..." She returned to clean the sheet, focused on making the red stain disappear.
"I won't judge, I promise." Zuko reassured.
"It's a woman thing. Usually, we don't want people to notice when we are on our period, you know?"
"Oh."
As the stain started to dissolve and vanish in the river's stream, Zuko's mind clicked. Your period. Of course! How could he be so dumb? He felt his face starting to redden.
"So, Y/n is..."
"Yes, that's why I'm washing this." She lifted the sheet that now was wet. "But even if we try to be careful, accidents do happen. "And with a simple movement, she removed the water from the sheet, drying it in the process.
"Accidents, right." Zuko just pretended to agree. He understood generally what being on period meant, but that was all he knew. Part of him was never really interested in knowing more about it, but another part never had access to it, since the subject was considered taboo by most part of women. "I suppose it's impossible to be careful enough."
Katara immediately noticed how he didn't seem to know much of what they were talking about and a playful smile quickly appeared on her lips.
"You know you're not fooling anyone, are you?"
"What do you-"
"Zuko, it's okay to not know about things." The waterbender assured him. Her smile wasn't playful anymore. It switched to a tender one.
"I-I-" The prince started to blush again. He really wanted to understand more about theses "girly things" and how he could make you feel better but it was just so difficult to ask. "I don't-"
"Don't worry. I won't tease you." Katara started to get up with the basket of clean clothes in hand.
Zuko looked away, focusing on the camp before answering. The prince imagined you trapped in that tent, acting in that moody way for a reason you couldn't control. He really wanted to help you, and if that meant he had to go over all his shame and male pride, he would.
"Fine. " He answered while pinching the bridge of his nose. "But don't tell Sokka."
"Why would I-"
"Don't tell Toph either."
"But why-"
"Actually, don't tell anyone."
                                          ☆
Today your period was getting the best of you. Your mood was shit. You had been turning over all night because of hellish cramps so it was expected that you wanted to sleep until later. But then when Toph, who was unaware of your situation, tried to talk to you, you were extremely rude to her. Actually, even if you tried to tell Toph that you were on your period, she wouldn't understand since she hadn't had her first yet, but you still had no right to curse her just for saying hi.
As if it were a punishment from the universe, you realized that you had stained one of the sheets that you had used that night. Furthermore, your horrible cramps had returned. Thankfully Katara came to your rescue, helping you a little with the pain and offering to wash the tragic sheet.
Now, after all the events, you didn't quite know what you wanted to do. Sure, you wanted to apologize to Toph, but you were afraid of what to do if your mood changed again.  Your body was limp, your breasts were swollen and your back hurt a lot. Everything told you not to get up. So, that's what you did.
You were almost asleep again when you felt someone entering the tent. Thinking it was Toph, you automatically sat down and started to apologize.
"I know that nothing I say will change what I did, but I really-" You stopped talking when you noticed it wasn't your best friend that was in front of you, it was the guy that you liked. "Zuko?"
"Sorry for entering without asking." He said with an apologetic look. "Can I stay here?"
"I would love you to stay but... " You really wanted his presence there, but you were afraid to be rude to him too. And he was the last person you wanted to make a bad impression on. " I'm not very well today."
"I know."
"You... know?" You asked in a slightly nervous way, but you tried to disguise it.
"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking as nervous as you were. "But I don't mind."
You seemed to be even more nervous than before. Being alone with him always made you unquiet, but imagining that he might know about your period made you want to bury your face in the ground and disappear. You knew it was normal to menstruate and it was stupid to perpetuate the idea that guys shouldn't know when you were or weren't on your period, but the thought of talking about it with him scared you.
You tried to say a few things, but the words died in your throat. The fear that the guy you liked so much thought you were disgusting made you so apprehensive that you didn't even know what to say.
He noticed your apprehension almost immediately.
"I-I bought you something!" Zuko started looking for something inside a small bag he had with him and it was the first time that you had noticed its existence.
When the prince finally found what you were looking for, you realized it was a very poorly wrapped up packet.
"You didn't need to-"
"It's chocolate. Katara said it could help." He handed the packet to you without looking you in the eye.
As you started to open it, you saw different bars of chocolate. One of white chocolate, one of dark chocolate, one with chestnuts and one with an extremely reddish color. Some of them were a little broken and melted, but most of them were fine.
"I didn't know which flavor you like the most, so I bought one of each." You felt your ears burn just by imagining him buying all that for you.
"Where did you-"
"I borrowed Appa to go to the nearest market." He answered. "But they ended up getting kind of..." You tried not to laugh at his frustrated face.
Your shame was gradually going away. He didn't think you were disgusting because you were on your period. In fact, he was worried to the point of taking a mini trip and buying sweets for you. And he even tried to wrap them up, though he clearly failed. Imagining him doing all that for you made your heart warmer to the point of making you cry. Your mood change was taking the best out of you again.
Zuko's eyes widened as soon as he noticed your tears.
"I-I'm sorry! I-" He started to get up. "I'll leave you alone!''
You quickly held him by the wrist while letting out a laugh. Your tears salted your mouth as you giggled, but you didn't care. Meanwhile, Zuko was staring at you with an extremely confused expression.
"I'm happy, you dork."
"But why are you crying?" He looked so worried that you almost felt guilty for laughing at him.
"Period things. I'm fine, really." You said while whipping your tears away. "Now sit here with me. I'm curious about this red one."
Zuko sighed with relief and sat next to you with his legs crossed. You stopped holding his wrist, being surprised at how brave you were to do something like this. You were the kind of person who got embarrassed just by touching him in the shoulder. Even when training with him, you would get disconcerted by the smallest things.
"It's a Fire Nation traditional chocolate." He broke a piece of the chocolate and offered it to you. "I thought you might want to try it."
You took the bizarrely red piece from his hand and tried not to sweat.
"I hope this isn't too spicy." But when you ate the piece, your fear came true. "ZUKO!"
"WHAT!" He practically jumped.
"WATER!" You screamed as you felt your tongue burning.
The prince started turning over all the sheets until he finally found a canteen lost in a corner of the tent. You didn't even wait for him to deliver it to you. You took the canteen from his hands and drank the water until you felt the burning sensation cease.
When you finally managed to stabilize your breathing after drinking so much water, you faced him. Zuko was sweating bullets.
"Are you feeling better?" He asked worriedly.
"It was an outstanding experience." You replied with a grin. "But I prefer not to try it again."
"Yeah, I won't buy this one for you the next time."
"Next time?" You couldn't ignore his statement. What did he mean by next time?
"Ah..."
Zuko started to blush again. Every time he started talking about things he had done for you or how he wanted to be with you, his face turned red, almost like a tomato. However, you couldn't hear his answer since your cramps have returned, making you lean forward and hold your belly.
"Hey, are you-"
"Cramps. Awful ones." You replied, still holding your belly. Your cramps were rougher than usual, so you laid down. "Sorry for ruining the mood."
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. "
You were unable to agree or disagree with him. Your pain was so intense that you couldn't focus on anything. The guy of your dreams was on your side and you couldn't even look at him.
Suddenly, you felt something hot thing land on your belly. It was hot, but not enough to hurt you. It was cozy and made your pain lower little by little. You only came to understand what it was when the heat moved and you recognized the shape of a hand, a male hand.
"Katara said that heat can help with the pain." Zuko said as he slid his hand over your belly. "Do you feel better?"
"Yes." A pleased expression appeared in your face. "It feels nice."
"Good. I've never done this before." He stated.
"What about Mai?" You asked curiously, trying to not sound jealous. He was being so supportive that you couldn't help but imagine him trying to please his ex-girlfriend in every single way.
"Mai hardly commented on how she felt. Even when she was more... Er... Sensitive- "Zuko cleared his throat. "She was no different. It's not like I never wanted to help, but she never allowed me to be close enough.
"I see." You imagined him trying to get closer and Mai pushing him away. You felt sad for him. "Well, I feel happy for being the first one." Shyly, you put your hand over his. "I'll give you a lot of work to make up for it."
A smile lit up his face. His smile was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it was becoming more common as he spent more time with you and the rest of the Gaang.
"Am I supposed to be afraid?" He replied provocatively.
"Women in their period can be the most dangerous thing, you know."
"Yeah, Sokka said so."
"Sokka what?"
Taglist: @bucky-blogs @dekahg @eridanuswave @the-firebender-girl
People who were interested but I don’t if I could tag them: @unfortunateshelby @little-wankenobi @theblueslytherin @creepytoes88​ @http-peter-parker​
I don’t think this was my best work since I don’t feel really secure with portraying Zuko as a boyfriend yet. I’m not really sure about how he expresses love since he had so many problematic relationships and I don’t think he would be the perfect guy who would know everything about dating and stuff. I also don’t think he would say his feelings out loud. He looks more practical to me but not too practical. To me, he’s probably shy with this stuff. 
Please, give me feedback if I portraited him well as a boyfriend even if he wasn’t your boyfriend in this imagine.
English isn’t my native language so it might have mistakes.
I needed to write this since my period is still killing me.
1K notes · View notes
thedistantdusk · 3 years
Text
Arcadia, Chapter 3
Thanks to everyone who followed along! Things are heating up with this chapter! Most of the referenced triggers from chapter 1 apply in this chapter specifically. Here's the link to chapter 2, if you're just seeing this now :)
Thanks again to @secretkeeper13, @accio-broom, @remedialpotions, @jamezbot, @jenoramaca, @not-steve42, @ginisbetterthanfirewhiskey... god, I'm forgetting people, and I'm sorry! But you're all amazing <3
___________________________
D A Y + T H R E E
As fate would have it, Ginny wakes before 0-700.
Not that she sleeps.
Nightmares, the likes of which she hasn’t experienced in years, torment her throughout the night. They leave her scared. Miserable. Guilty. Around 3 AM, she finally reaches for her Dreamless Sleep potion with shaking hands. For more reasons than one, she’s pleased that Harry’s slept on the couch.
She knows now just how stupid this entire mission truly was. The longer she analyzes it, the more she accepts that her bloody pride got her here in the first place. A chance for a promotion, however small, gave her false confidence in her ability to disregard a decade of sexual tension, all while trapped in close quarters with the person she wants the most.
She hopes Harry makes himself sparse today, though she knows that sounds cruel. But the longer they spend together, the clearer it becomes they’re on the cusp of something… and not something that would look good on a performance review. He’s been kind and understanding so far, even when she’s fucked things up. She just hopes she can ignore the most human parts of herself until they’ve dealt with this.
So at half-past 8, Ginny — Jenny — emerges from the house in a bright floral sundress and nude pumps. Were it not for the secret weapon clutched in her right fist, she might have fit in quite well... but Jenny has no intention of fitting in. Not anymore. In three confident strides, she marches across the front lawn, bends down, and spears the prongs of a lurid pink flamingo into the grass.
Yes.
She grins and takes in her work. How ghastly against the backdrop of earth tones! How repugnant!
Ginny steals quick glimpses over each shoulder, only to be met with the eerie, blanketed silence that’s defined Arcadia since their arrival. No activity at all. Which means she’ll have no issue with the next bit…
She strides to the mailbox at the end of their driveway and gives it a sharp kick. The post slides out of alignment, leaving it askew. Perfect. She returns to the house with a bounce in her step. Living with the twins taught her a thing or two about how to infuriate complete strangers.
She just hopes it’ll be enough.
___________________________
As luck would have it, it is enough. Her efforts receive reward more quickly than she thought— more quickly than she’s been conditioned to expect.
Scarcely an hour passes before she finds the warning she needs. And to be honest, it could’ve been there sooner; she just figured she’d give it that long before she checked.
Still, it’s not even 10 AM when she opens the door and sees it on their welcome mat: a folded paper with Pee-tri scrolled on the front. She can’t help but admire the sheer cheek as she unfolds it; this is the closest they’ll get to a public call-out for the way Harry insists on correcting everyone’s pronunciation. The message inside doesn’t surprise her, either.
Be like the others before dark. Or else.
Ginny glimpses out at the lawn, just to confirm— and yes. Sure enough. Just as she’d suspected, the flamingo's gone. The mailbox is straight. Everything’s back to normal.
She kicks the door closed with a smirk and wonders if they’re aware of how easily they’ve exposed themselves. How—
“What’ve you got there?” Harry calls from the sofa in the living room. He looks up from his laptop with bleary, dark-rimmed eyes. A wave of guilt washes through her; that sofa clearly didn’t get more comfortable overnight. Not that he would’ve accepted the alternative.
“Erm. A letter.” She waves in front of her and walks into the living room. “I’ve done a great job annoying them!”
He offers a gentle smile. “Any chance you’ll let me know who this ‘them’ is that you’re so worried about?”
Ginny rolls her eyes and settles on the other end of the couch. “You know I can’t—”
“Talk about your work,” Harry finishes, turning back to his computer. “Right.”
“Mm. Not exactly that I can’t… talk about my work,” she ventures, putting her feet up on the white ottoman. “More like I can’t give information until it’s essential knowledge for all parties involved. Based on criteria that I also can’t share.”
“Sounds like a fun job,” Harry deadpans, still looking at the computer. “But anyway, if I were to suggest something like… I don’t know…” He casually tilts the screen in her direction. “The fact that Oliver Skinner definitely has a criminal record, and maybe that’s worth looking into. You couldn’t confirm or deny that?”
Ginny just shrugs. “That’s correct. I can neither confirm nor deny.”
His theory is wrong, of course. Dead wrong.
They wouldn’t have sent an Unspeakable and an Auror into the country if this were a simple Muggle murderer. Harry would be able to suss this out, she reckons, if he had more sleep. Poor bloke.
He groans and cracks his back. “I’m starting to understand why King’s always so frustrated.”
“Probably because he has to deal with you all the time,” Ginny quips, reaching for a magazine on the floor. Ugh. Of course, it’s only the TV guide, Radio Times. They don’t even have a TV, but it came with the Daily Mail on Sunday.
Harry reaches for a glass of water on the coffee table. “Fine,” he relents, in between sips. “I’ll stay in my lane. But if I get bored, I’ll get tetchy.” He gestures to the computer. “And since they’ve given us this laptop, I’ve had time to do a bit of—”
“They��ve given me a laptop,” Ginny corrects, arching a brow. “As you’re well aware, Auror Potter, that is technically the property of the DoM.” She returns to the guide with a shrug. “I just don’t care if you use it, mostly because I don’t expect you’ll be looking up tits all day.”
He chokes on his water; Ginny just laughs and turns the page. Ooh, lovely! Eurovision looks particularly flamboyant this year…
“You’re absolutely right,” Harry says, once he recovers. “I’d never look up tits on government property!” He looks affronted as he hands over the laptop, but she knows he’s not done... not when he’s set that up so perfectly. Annnnd sure enough…
“You of all people should know I'm an arse-man, Ginny.”
Now it’s her turn for an unattractive snort as he winks over his shoulder and marches upstairs.
When he’s gone, Ginny rolls her eyes and opens her laptop. He’s an incredible liar on the arse-man front, but it was a good joke. A simple joke…. one that didn’t deserve looking into.
It’s just unfortunate that can’t stop these stupid fucking butterflies from erupting in her stomach like she’s ten years old again.
___________________________
He launches into the air again, the gardens of his neighbors spanning out in front of him. Each perfectly manicured. Each disturbing in its performative precision. None of this is real; none of this is life.
He pulled out the trampoline after dinner, when Ginny okayed it. He’s not used to that— checking before he does things. This whole exercise has been a great reminder that his teamwork skills are rusty, especially when he’s in a subordinate role. Ron left after their first year to work in the magic shop instead, which only made sense after… yeah. Harry draws a deep breath and jumps again. Ron and Hermione haven’t been problem-solving in his head for ages. There’s been no one to share the burden of choices or—
“OI!” Oliver’s voice thunders across the garden.
Harry smiles and takes another huge leap into the air. Just in time…
He rips open the fence door and stomps over, hands balled into fists. Harry’s never seen anyone look quite so furious while dressed in cashmere. And standing beside a trampoline.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Oliver hisses, eyes narrowed to slits. “Are you trying to make enemies, Henry? Is this entire estate a bloody joke to you?”
“Of course not!” Harry lands on his bum before he jumps up again. “This is very serious!”
“Oliver!” Sharon wails, hurrying over. “Oliver. Please! This really—”
“Keep your nose where it belongs, woman,” Oliver snarls, looking at her like she’s scum on his shoe. “No one wants your opinion!”
Sharon flinches… and this, more than anything else, gets Harry’s back up. “No need to take it out on her!” he snaps, climbing down from the trampoline. “Talk to me if you’ve got a problem, Ollie. Why not—”
But just as Harry’s feet touch the grass, something very weird happens: A dull buzzing fills his ears. Sharon and Oliver hear it too, but unlike Harry, they aren’t looking around in bewildered confusion. In a flash, the rage on Oliver’s face transforms into something much different: fear. And as the pressure grows, Harry can only watch as Oliver grabs Sharon’s hand, yanking her from the garden, when—
An unmistakable sound replaces the buzzing. A large piece of glass from somewhere in the front of the house shatters on the pavement. And with that, the buzzing stops.
Birds chirp again. Someone laughs in the distance. Harry jabs a finger in his ear, trying to clear it, but it seems Oliver’s returned to his furious state. He lunges towards Harry, a vein ticking in his neck, his hands outstretched as if to push him over— but Harry doesn’t have time for this. He’s already running around him, bolting towards the source of the sound, his hand inching for his pocket…
Because whatever they’ve got going on isn’t related to Oliver, is it? No… definitely not. That buzzing was too creepy to be muggle. Harry hadn’t really been convinced of the Oliver theory in the first place, even if the wanker has a criminal record for drunk driving. He mostly suggested it to Ginny to see if she’d give him any information.
Harry spots the broken glass the second he reaches the pavement. The lamppost right outside their house has shattered, light bulb and all. Bits of glass sparkle on the street, but the lamppost is at least 10 feet high. Harry scans around for signs of a ladder, or some form of a projectile… any method someone might’ve used to— oh! A baseball rolls around in one of the open garages across the street. He’s about to march over and collect it when his conscience stops him.
Because that’s the definition of circumstantial evidence, isn’t it? Harry sighs, rubbing his forehead. Snatching the baseball while working alone is one thing, but it’s not worth risking Ginny’s job. Especially because he reckons these thoroughly unmemorable homes are each equipped with monitoring systems. At absolute best, that would be… awkward to explain to the muggle police, especially without an obvious connection between the ball and the shattered lamppost...
Harry’s just about to turn back inside and write it off a freak occurrence when—
Shit.
His breath freezes in his throat.
What the...
He blinks a few times to make sure he’s not imagining it, but no...
There’s no weird buzzing this time… but something else is happening instead. The grass on the far side of their yard is bulging and curling, right in front of his eyes. The soil creaks as this… this mass — a huge sphere of some sort — passes through; bits of dirt fly into the air before settling back.
Harry’s veins turn to ice, his stomach churning. Work has introduced him to new, vile varieties of ghouls and nasties. He’s been bitten by a leprechaun. Stalked by a vampire. He’s encountered every disturbing otherworldly menace that one could imagine.
But he’s never seen anything like this.
His only solace is that it’s headed towards Mike’s empty house… this massive, rolling boulder that travels beneath the soil. ‘Boulder’ isn’t exactly the right term, though; he’s never seen a boulder move with a slinking, predatory grace. He’s never gotten gooseflesh from a rock, no matter how large.
And try as he might, he can only stand there, wide-eyed, his heart racing. Because now he knows for sure what Ginny only alluded to before: whatever they’re chasing isn’t human.
And it’s aware of them.
___________________________
The door creaks open less than five minutes after the glass shatters, but Ginny’s prepared.
She’s standing in the alcove just off the entryway, wand in one hand, fire poker in the other. It’s probably not the best strategy she’s ever had— but she reckons that if a Muggle were to catch sight of an altercation, it would be an easy memory supplantation. Wands and fire pokers don’t look that dissimilar, and—
“Ginny?” Harry calls. Directly into her ear.
Shit! She jumps into the air, the poker clattering to the ground.
“When did you learn to move like a cat?” she demands, turning to face him. “You nearly—”
“We need to talk,” he says brusquely. It’s only then that she takes in his wide, haunted eyes. His white pallor. The way he hasn’t even commented on the ridiculousness of her fire poker.
Oh.
He’s scared.
Scared in a way she hasn’t seen him in ages. Maybe ever. Which means he heard…? Shit. She’d might as well ask.
“What do you erm…” She toys with her wand handle. “Want to talk about?”
Harry heaves a tired sigh. “I’m only going to ask you this once,” he says flatly, rubbing his hand over his forehead. Then he blinks up at her, his eyes pulsing and stern. “What the fuck was that?”
“The… shattered lamppost?” she hedges. “I’ve no idea. I just—”
Apparently, that was the wrong response.
Harry groans. “You know damn well I don’t mean the bloody lamppost!” he snarls. “I mean that… that thing! First the weird buzzing, then whatever moved through the grass! It was like some creepy worm, or—”
“—not a worm,” she amends, staring at her cuticles.
This, too, was the wrong reply; she’s never seen him go from bewildered to enraged quite so fast.
Harry lets out a furious roar and kicks at an empty box. “This is why Unspeakables are so fucking annoying!” he shouts, tossing his hands in the air. “You never fucking say anything — even if it might help someone!”
Pfft! He can do better than that...
“Not sure what you expected,” she deadpans. “Would it help if I were a Speakable instead?”
Harry rolls his eyes and throws himself on the couch. Ginny just leans against the door… and waits. She can’t say she blames him for being angry. It’s probably made him feel vulnerable in ways he hasn’t in ages.
“The least you can bloody do,” Harry says, cutting into her thoughts, “is to let me know how to kill it.” He glimpses up at her, his chest still heaving. “Because if anything happened to you….” His hand curls around his wand, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. “We both know I’d never forgive myself.”
Fuck.
Her heart clenches; as embarrassing as it is, tears sting the backs of her eyes. She wasn’t expecting that… but it makes perfect sense. He’s not angry because he’s vulnerable; he’s angry because he doesn’t know how to protect her.
Because he’s Harry.
Her Harry.
And try as she might, she can’t deny that. He’s hers… even though now he’s broken and angry and scared and alone. Which is probably why she loves the fucking fuck out of him.
No.
She stops herself, squeezing her eyes shut. Mission. Mission. They’re on a mission.
Right. She clears her throat and steps forward, two papers clutched in her hand.
“What’s that?” Harry grumbles as she hands them over. He scans the pages, brow furrowing. “Sugar… engine oil. Red Dye 40. What am I supposed to do with—?”
Ginny smiles and tries to make this easy. “It’s the report from the necklace. The thing that was on Mike’s medallion… it’s rubbish. Not blood, not some ghost slime. It’s just a weird mixture of types of rubbish.”
She should’ve figured he wouldn’t find this significant.
“What a brilliant scientific discovery.” Harry tosses the paper to the side. “Hermione would be thrilled.”
Ginny gnaws at her cheek, choosing her words carefully… but if he’s already seen it, if he’s already heard it, surely there’s no harm...
Harry rises to his feet and takes a step closer until he’s towering over her, all warm and brooding. They aren’t touching… not exactly. He’s just hovering close enough to give her strength, whether he knows it or not. When she finally gets the nerve to look up at him, his green eyes are swirling with more pain than rage. Truth be told, she prefers the rage. “I deserve to know,” he says thickly, like he’s suppressing something in his throat, “what the fuck is going on.”
Ginny breaks their eye contact. Some of this she hasn’t even shared with Attica yet. She’s violating about a million protocols by telling Harry first, but if they’re together on a mission…
“It’s… not what we thought. Not what I thought,” she admits softly, after a moment. “We came out here under the assumption of chasing something from the Thought Chamber. Something that erm… may have escaped. During a routine experiment.”
He’s not impressed, though. “Yeah,” he says, arching a brow. “I gathered all of that from your intro with the camera, thanks. Do you ever plan on telling me anything new?” He jerks his chin towards the window. “Because you’ve sure as hell never mentioned Evil Grass Monster Experiment #6, and that may have been helpful to fucking know before I saw it.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake!
His attitude is more infuriating than his actual words, but she lacks the patience for dealing with either. The bloody nerve, to act all impatient with information that’s kept secret for a reason...
“I don’t have to tell you shit, actually,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “And in case you’re unaware, I can protect myself.”
Harry pulls back with a laugh, but this one is cruel. Dark. The sort she’s never heard from him before. “Makes sense,” he says with a fake grin. Then he taps her on the nose. “Because when that thing outside inevitably kills someone else, we all know how well you’ll manage the guilt.”
Ouch.
She reels back, stung. He’s got to know that’s a low blow. Younger Ginny would have Bat Bogeyed him into oblivion, but she’s better now. She’s changed.
At least that’s what she tells herself as she glares at him, her hands fisted so tightly they turn white. “Say what you mean,” she manages several moments later, when rage isn’t clawing at her chest. “If you’d like to rehash our breakup, Auror Potter, I’m all ears!” She gives her best impression of an icy smirk. “This isn’t exactly professional… but then again, when have you ever been?”
Harry looks like he’s going to respond, but a loud vibration starts in his back pocket. “Fuck!” Now it’s his turn to leap into the air before he realizes it’s just his wand. And really, she’s tempted to laugh— but the look on his face helps her put the pieces together.
Because if his wand’s vibrating, that means it’s an emergency; only department heads can summon their employees like that. They’re the only ones with access to that sort of technology, not that she’s really interested either way.
“It’s King,” he mutters. She’s about to get on him for stating the obvious, but when he peers at her again, his face is filled with such timid yearning that she can only see the 11-year-old boy on the train platform. “Can I…erm. Use your mobile?”
Fine. Ginny nods towards the bedroom, her head still spinning. She’s still a bit angry with him, but he’s so fucking broken. They both are. And besides, they’ve got bigger problems. What could possibly have King so worried that he’d call Harry from a mission? The man is unflappable.
Harry returns a minute later, his face stony, jaw set. In another life, she might’ve seen the bulge in his pocket and asked if that’s just her mobile, or if he’s happy to see her.
Instead, she tucks her hair behind her ears like the seasoned professional she is. “There’s no reception inside,” she points out. “I’ve had luck calling Attica from up the street, right at the corner. Just watch out for…”
Harry smirks. “Grass monsters?”
Ginny draws a breath to consider her options. She could keep him in the dark forever, but isn’t that the whole point of this assignment? To learn? It’s time for the truth, she reckons...
“It’s erm. It’s called a tulpa, actually.”
His eyes light up at this. “A tulpa?”
Ginny shifts her weight and searches for the right words. “It’s a… it’s sort of like an evil imaginary friend, created by a group of people to do their bidding,” she explains, reaching for the discarded papers. “They come from the material of whatever’s underground. I’ve only heard of creatures made from clay or water, but since this village was built on a rubbish tip”— she flicks the papers with her fingers— “that’s our guy!”
She can almost see the gears spinning in Harry’s head as he studies the far wall. “So…” he says slowly, still peering off, “it’s basically an evil dump monster, made of rubbish, that can murder people.”
A laugh slips past her lips. It sounds a bit dumb when he puts it that way. She clears her throat and continues. “I was wrong because it’s not something that’s escaped, more like something that’s—”
“Formed,” Harry finishes quickly. For the first time all week, he sounds intrigued. Like he’s happy to be here. “So… they’ve made it to keep order, then?”
“It would seem so.” She shrugs. “I… honestly don’t know. But between the weird buzzing and the rubbish, it’s the closest match we’ve got. According to the system database, anyway.”
There’s another pause as Harry mulls this over. “So, how do we get rid of it, then?”
How fucked up is it that her heart warms at the way he says ‘we’?
Ginny brushes that aside. “Considering the mask in Gogolak’s house and the way they’ve made a point to tell us he’s in charge, I’d say he’s the one we need to get rid of.”
Harry crosses his arms over his chest but doesn’t object.
“Or at least… knock him totally unconscious,” she adds, swallowing; Gogolak’s a wanker, but she’d rather not kill him, either. “Beyond just being asleep. Because he sleeps at night, but the tulpa’s still here, which means he needs to be down for the count. Comatose, even.”
Harry’s wand buzzes again. Ah, shit; in all the hubbub, she’d forgotten about that.
Concern floods Harry’s face. “Give me five minutes.” He blinks. “Ok?”
She waves towards the door. “Duty calls.”
He gives her a weak smile and turns away; she begins the trek upstairs to send Attica an email update.
“Ginny?”
She stops to look down at him. Harry’s paused, halfway out the door. “Thank you,” he says softly, meeting her eyes. “And… I’m sorry. For everything. Ok? I’ll always, erm…”
But she can’t right now. She actually fucking can’t.
“Later,” she whispers, nearly begging. “Please. Let’s do this later.”
Because of course she loves him.
She’s always fucking loved him, even though that’s changed forms. It’s shifted. It’s evolved. He feels the same way… she knows he’s bloody feels the same way. She just doesn’t have the resources to deal with whatever this fuck is reigniting, right in front of her eyes, as the tulpa dances in the back of her head.
Luckily, he understands. Harry just swallows again, nods at her, and heads out into the night.
___________________________
As it would turn out, he was wrong about the identity of the summoner.
“Great news!” Hermione announces on the other end of the mobile. “MLE found Yaxley. He was hiding in a cave in Romania, just like you said.”
Harry snorts; he wishes that gave him more pride. “Well, if you’d listened to me months ago, then—”
“The important part is that we have him,” Hermione says, cutting across. “We need you back ASAP to prep for witness questioning. You’ll take the stand, of course. The trial’s set to start next week!”
He can practically hear her bouncing with excitement. Very little brings her more joy than trials of former Death Eaters.
“Erm… about that.” Harry rubs the back of his neck. “We’re actually right on the cusp of something here. I’m gonna need a couple more days to wrap things up.”
“Really?” Hermione sounds surprised. “Kingsley and Robards said you’d be pleased. Said you found this mission as useless as they did.”
Fuck, he was such an arse.
“Well, things… changed,” he offers lamely. “It’s going really well. This mission is so important to her. I’d just hate to leave at the last minute.”
“Ohhh?” Hermione draws out the word in a way that suggests she finds herself quite clever. Even before she asks, he knows what she’s on about. “How’s it going with Ginny, then?”
Harry rolls his eyes. Her coy prodding is obvious, even over the phone.
“As I already said, it’s going well,” he replies flatly. “We’re a great team. Always have been.”
But she can’t let him have that one, can she?
“Well… not always,” Hermione allows. “After Percy—”
Harry groans. For fuck’s sake, what’s her obsession with stating the obvious? “Yeah, well,” he retorts, “I’d like to know who you think did well after that, especially since…”
He trails off with a sigh.
Especially since what, exactly?
He toys with the fraying ends of his hoodie string.
Especially since Ginny was the last to speak with Percy? That she still carries the weight of the guilt for what she said that night? That she’s never admitted it, but that he suspects her choice to become an Unspeakable was influenced by the things she wishes she could un-say?
Harry makes a face. That’s corny as fuck, isn’t it? What a thing to pull from his arse...
Hermione interrupts his thoughts for a bit of bragging. “Well, Ron and I have done just fine.”
He can almost imagine her staring at her engagement ring in dreamy affection. The mental image makes his reply sound more bitter than he intends.
“Well,” Harry snaps, “Ron wasn’t the last person to speak with Percy. So I’m not sure how you could compare the two, really.”
Shit.
The silence on the other end tells him he needs to apologize, even if it’s true. Fortunately, Hermione gives him an easy out. “Anyway.” She clears her throat. “I’ll give you until tomorrow night, but we really need you the following day. If you haven’t settled this, we’re swapping you out. Got it?”
Harry sighs. He’s exhausted, but this couldn’t possibly take much longer. Ginny’s more or less got the proof she needs now. They just need to confront Gogolak, knock him out, and—
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Harry cranes his neck towards the source of the noise. Huh… weird. Far up the street, flashing lights tip him off. That’s definitely Oliver’s Audi, the one parked in the driveway directly beside theirs. It’s in utopia blue with a metallic finish, a detail Oliver probably mentioned at least fifty times the other night. Then, while Sharon and Ginny were out walking the dog, Oliver began a mind-numbing lecture on the car’s exact miles per liter. Harry was a bit drunk, which is probably why he interrupted to ask a much more important maths question: How many blow jobs per week is too many, exactly?
Even from a distance, Harry can tell that Oliver’s nearly the same shade of murderous red now; he storms from the house and turns off the alarm with his key fob. But then he pauses, glancing around like something’s spooked him. He must decide it’s not that significant, though, because he huffs back inside soon enough. Fucking wanker...
“....Harry?”
“Sorry!” Harry shakes his head. “Yeah, sorry, that works. See you then, Hermione.”
“Can’t wait!” she trills. He doesn’t need to see her face to know she’s smug and grinning.
___________________________
Two minutes after Harry leaves, Ginny feels it again: that same sensation she experienced while walking Captain Bone.
She’s sitting at her laptop when it starts… this deeply unsettling shift. It stands the hair up on the back of her neck. She rushes to the window on instinct, but just like before, everything outside looks the same. There’s no “moving grass monster,” as Harry called it. Not yet, at least.
Still, she can’t deny it’s growing louder. Getting stronger. And now that she’s felt it for a bit longer, she can put more words to it. It’s like she’s plummeting through the absence of sound; like all the wind’s been sucked from the air. It’s a building pressure, a mounting unease, and before she knows it, her whole body starts to shake.
Then two things happen in quick succession: that weird feeling stops, and a car alarm begins to blare in the distance.
Weird.
She shudders. This whole thing is so fucking weird. Weird is her job, and this place is still Very Fucking Weird. Seriously, who enjoys living here? She’s reaching for her wand, just in case, when the front door slams open.
In retrospect, it’s a blessing she knows Harry as well as she does… because she can tell that those heavy, clobbering footsteps don’t belong to him. She knows he’s not the one drawing deep, ragged breaths as he marches up the stairs.
She hides around the corner of the bedroom, her heart racing, and goes through a mental list of spells she might use. Shield charms. Enchantments. The buzzing’s stopped, so this probably isn’t the tulpa… but who else would be here? Gogolak? It sounds more human than—
“Jenny?” a deep, soothing voice asks. “Are you in here?”
Her breath freezes in her throat. She’s only heard that voice once before… but it’s so similar to her former life that she identifies it at once.
“Mike?” A wave of relief washes through her. She shoves her wand into her dress as she comes around the corner. Sure enough, there he is, in the flesh. Mike Snodgrass. A man she presumed dead days ago.
“Hi!” Mike pants. He cracks a smile. “I’d offer to shake your hand, but.” He winces, wiping a palm on his ripped khakis. “Been hiding!” Fuck. His whole outfit (yellow Polo, khakis) is the same he wore days ago to unload their boxes, except now it’s filthy. Stained. Like he’s been living beneath cars and inside drains. He’s just missing his Saint Julian medallion, which she’s sent to the Ministry.
Ginny feels sick. She wrote him off as dead so carelessly...
“I’ve been trying to take it down,” he adds earnestly, peering at her. His cheeks are caked in something red and grimy, the same stuff she stuffed into her bra. He’s been tailing the tulpa, she realizes, her stomach plummeting…
Except he’s got no clue what he’s doing.
“I was about to leave the development, to just run away, but that’s when I figured out it was coming for you two!” He shudders, closing his eyes. It feels like he’s been waiting a long, long time to say this. “And I’ve been aimless without Jess in the first place. So what was the point in leaving, really, if I could save…?”
He trails off, clearing his throat; when he looks up at her again, there’s a flash of annoyance in his eyes. “I’ve been leaving clues, though! Why didn’t you listen?”
“Clues?” Ginny sounds like she’s a million miles away.
Mike’s nearly pleading now. “You had to go and kick the mailbox and stick the flamingo in the grass, didn’t you?” He raises his pointer finger. “And even though I left you a note, you had to make it even worse! It only attacks when the sun goes down, see.”
“You… you left the note?” she whispers. She was so certain that it was from Gogolak...
But Mike proceeds in such a rush it’s clear he hasn’t heard her. “It was about to get Henry by the trampoline, so I threw the baseball as a diversion. I broke the lamppost, too— which worked. For a second,” he adds hastily, glancing over his shoulder.
“How did you also set off the car alarm— oh.” Her head’s still spinning. “Buddy system. Right.”
Mike dangles a keyfob. “Covenant rules. Stole the spare off Jane.” He glances into the hall again before whipping back to face her. “It’ll need a sacrifice tonight, though,” he adds grimly. “And every night, until you all have perfect behavior. It was coming for you earlier, see. We aren’t meant to be outdoors after dark without a permit for dog-walking, so.” He shrugs. “If there’s an unapproved disruption like a car alarm, it knows just where to hunt.”
It’s then that the final pieces of this dreadful puzzle slide together in her brain. “Captain Bone,” Ginny breathes; she swears a feather could knock her over. “He was the first since we arrived. Punishment for us sticking out.”
“I couldn’t save him,” Mike laments. “It came up and snatched him. So I threw in my medallion, right after his collar, just to make them think I was already gone.”
“That’s… that was brilliant,” she admits, biting her lip. “Thank you. You didn’t have—”
“Nah,” he says firmly. “I did. For starters, you remind me so much of…” He stops mid-sentence, an odd expression on his face.
For a second, she thinks he’s being sentimental, but then she feels it too.
Shit.
The hairs on her arm stand up. It’s back… that weird way she felt before. Like the air’s sucked from the room. That creeping, clawing silence. This time, though, it only gets louder, louder, louder, until she’s throwing her hands over her ears, all hope of self-defense forgotten.
But Mike knows what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. She doesn’t have the chance to object or get her wand before he’s ripping open the closet door and throwing her inside. Ginny opens her mouth in a startled cry, but it’s like she’s screaming underwater, the sound distant and distorted. Mike slams the door closed with her inside and stomps to the center of the room— but now the thundering, roaring wind is causing her physical pain… it’s so loud now that it reverberates in her chest, so loud that her hands shake as she reaches for her wand at long last, but fuck fuck fuck, it’s too late…
It’s too fucking late.
Because Mike’s made a choice. One he can’t take back. He just stands in the middle of the room, puffing out his chest, offering himself as the proud sacrifice, even as the noise grows so loud that Ginny screams her throat raw.
She feels it enter the bedroom, this looming, shifting mass— but by then, she’s certain her ears are bleeding, her eardrums bursting. Her whole body rattles and shakes as she peers through the slats in the closet door, but she’s frozen. Stuck. Miserable. She couldn’t cast a spell if she tried… even as the tulpa oozes into the room, lunges itself back, and swallows Mike with a sickening squelch.
Even though the slats of the door, Ginny’s sprayed with blood. Covered. And she’s dizzy now… so dizzy. A drop of blood trickles into her eye; she reaches up to wipe it from her face, and it’s only then that she hears her own screams again. They reverberate through the small space, anguished and pleading, so loud that she’s certain someone up the street could hear, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t fucking care. She just screams over and over and over, her nails clawing at the walls, until the world slips away into darkness.
___________________________
Blood.
It’s the first thing he smells as he charges up the steps. His chest squeezes, his eyes water, his head pounds over and over again with one word: No.
No. No. No.
Not Ginny. It can’t be.
But almost as soon as he smells the blood, he hears her screaming, and yes! His heart soars. Screaming is good; screaming means she’s alive and breathing and—
Fuck.
His dinner rises in his throat as he steps into the bedroom. He smelled the blood from the steps, he hadn’t expected… this much. It always takes him aback, exactly how much blood is in one human body, and he’s certainly never seen it sprayed, all over the floor… covering the walls. Covering the closet, even, where Ginny’s still screaming.
He flings open the door, thinking he’s prepared for what he might see. Somehow, though, none of that measures up. Because he’s dealt with tears in his line of work… but he’s never, ever seen her so broken. His chest clenches when he takes her in. Her perfect suburban dress — the yellow floral one, the one he liked so much— is now red and grimy, caked in blood, as Ginny rocks back and forth on the floor, sobs wracking her body.
Blood’s covering her face, too, and her arms. Dried trails of it have crusted around her eyes, like she’s fallen asleep wiping them away… or perhaps lost consciousness. The thought is too terrible to bear. He kicks the door open completely and brings her into his arms in one fell swoop.
She melts against him, her voice raw and broken. “H-Harry!” she manages. “P-please! I need-I need!” She begins to shake, pressing her face to his chest.
“A shower,” he says firmly, stepping into the en-suite. “You… you just need a shower. Ok? And maybe some calming draught, I’ve got some in my luggage, and—”
“No!” she cries, shaking her head. Her eyes are wide and filled with horror. “Don’t… don’t leave. Don’t leave me, Harry, please!”
“I… ok,” he allows, carrying her to his luggage to retrieve the bottle. She clings to his neck as he reaches for it, but she weighs next to nothing. Fuck, she’s so thin… he’d just been too busy eyeing her up to realize exactly how thin. What a complete wanker.
It’s not difficult to unzip the suitcase with one hand and pass her the bottle. “Take this,” he urges, thrusting it into her hands. “Please, Ginny. You’ll feel—”
She’s already downed it before he gets to the end of the sentence. She tips her head back, drawing air into her lungs. “Thanks.” Her voice is still hoarse. Ragged.
“Shower, then,” he murmurs, walking her into the bathroom. He feels her start to relax against him, her body growing looser, as he opens the curtain and turns on the tap.
“Thanks,” she whispers again, her head tucked beneath his chin. His fingers itch with restraint; he’d do anything, he thinks, to hold her against him. To press a kiss to her temple. To tell her he loves her and that she’s beautiful and perfect and he’s sorry, so sorry, that any of this happened and—
She peers up at him, her eyes more focused now, less wide-eyed and horror-struck. “Would you stay here?” she asks, biting her lip. “While I shower? Just so I’m not—”
“‘Course.” Harry swallows, putting her on her feet. She lands with unintentional grace, one foot after the next.
“And can you… erm.” She turns her back to him, lifting her hair above her zipper. His hands shake as he reaches for the clasp. He knows the exact shape of her back as he slides it down, over the middle bump of her white bra strap. He nearly unstraps that for her, too, before he catches himself. It reeks of intimacy, doesn’t it? All of this…
His eyes linger on the soft swell of her bum before he turns around, self-disgust hammering in his throat.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” he adds feebly. He balls his hands into fists as her dress hits the floor… followed by her bra. And her knickers.
“Not your fault,” she croaks, stepping into the shower. He smiles, his glasses fogging up as he moves to sit on the closed toilet seat. Even covered in blood and traumatized, she can't bring herself to blame him.
She finishes several minutes later.
“Erm… towel?” She shuts the water off. “Could you?”
“Sure,” he soothes, thrusting one through the curtain. “D’you want me to leave, or…?”
Ginny manages a weak snort. “Nah. Nothing you haven’t seen before.”
He chuckles at the door as he turns around again. She’s right, of course; he knows every bloody inch of her… but it’s not quite the same now.
There’s a tap on his shoulder. He whips around to face her. Admittedly, she looks… better. The blood’s gone. Her eyes are still red-rimmed from sobbing, but she’s looking a bit less like a woman who witnessed a death. Which reminds him…
“Erm. Give me a second to get it all cleaned up?”
Ginny shudders and settles on the toilet seat; he immediately kicks himself for asking. “Yeah,” she says a moment later. “Just… come get me, ok? When you’re done?”
He nods.
___________________________
It can’t be later than 10 PM when he finally carries her to the bed, still wrapped in a towel.
He’s exhausted from the nights on the sofa, but he knows she’s worse off. He’s cleaned the bedroom fairly well, he thinks, considering. There’s a rust-colored stain above the closet that he reckons won’t go anywhere anytime soon. He just hopes she doesn’t see it.
He rests her on the duvet surface, fully prepared to head downstairs for the night— but the pleading look on her face informs him he’s got other plans, instead. So without sharing a single word, he spreads his palms, lies beside her, and waits.
It comes eventually, as he knew it would. One person can’t deal with all that, see all that, without eventually cracking. And as a fellow fucked-up individual, he would know.
It starts as simple tears, ones that he wipes away. It progresses into sobs… full-body sobs. The sort he heard coming up the stairs. He’s surprised she’s got any left, but Ginny’s always been the sort to keep him on his toes. And just as her water-dark hair starts to dry and sprout red tendrils, he faces the thing he expected least of all: a kiss.
She starts softly. Slowly. Her lips so tender and soft that he forgets everything. She moans against his mouth, her whole body leaning into it; he’s instantly reminded of how much he’s fucking missed her. How lonely he’s been. How could he have forgotten the tiny mewl she makes in the back of her throat as her tongue parts his lips? He must’ve blocked it out, he realizes, as she begins to slide her body against him, panting, as she tips her head back. His lips trail down her neck, nibbling and biting, as she grips his arms and hair and bum. Because if he’d remembered all of these little details, he’d have gone mad long ago.
He’s throbbing hard by the time he gets to the tail end of her towel, which brushes the tip of her thighs. He tries to adjust himself, to—
“You can take it out, you know.”
Oh. He blinks up at her, his breath freezing in his throat. She’s peering down at him, her lips red and swollen.
“I know you’re hard,” she adds, her voice still raw. “So if it’s uncomfortable… take it out.”
He arches a brow from his position at her thigh. He’s about to retort with something snappy. Something that might keep them bantering for ages. But Ginny has no patience.
“Please.” It’s nearly a command. She blinks down with glassy eyes, her lips swollen. “I want you, Harry.”
Fuck. He groans, rubbing his cock against his palm to relieve some of the pressure. It doesn’t help for long, not that it matters; he’d rather focus on her, anyway. So with a slip of his fingers, the towel opens. She releases a breathy moan, tipping her head back.
Naked.
She’s finally naked. In front of him. His breathing grows ragged, his eyes scanning the territory somehow both totally familiar and completely new. She is thinner; he was right. Her hip bones jut out now, her stomach more sunken. But most of her is the same. The smattering of freckles on her chest. The way her breasts have puckered and darkened, the way her chest is rising and falling so fast. The thatch of dark red hair at the apex of her thighs.
“Well,” she quips. He blinks up at her as she reclines on her elbow. “Are you going to fuck me, Harry, or just stare all day?”
With that, he removes his glasses and gives her a smirk— her only real warning— before he kisses her one more time, just as his fingers spread her thighs.
She opens beneath him with a breathy sigh. Fuck, she’s so wet… he groans into her mouth as he dips his fingers further and further down. She’s dripping by the time he finds her clit… by the time he begins to swirl in tight circles. Clockwise. The pattern that screams of such intimate familiarity that it’s as if the years never passed.
He’s scarcely done anything, but she’s already writhing against his fingers, arching her back. “Please,” she slurs after a minute, “put them in.”
He’s never been one to deny her, has he?
It’s like muscle memory how quickly he finds his face between her thighs instead. He spares a moment of self-indulgence as he closes his eyes, breathing her in. She smells like home. She always has. It’s comfort… but more than that, it’s proof. Proof she wants him as much as he wants her. It’s why he stuffed his face in her knickers whenever he got a spare moment on the Horcrux hunt: one hand on that black lace, the other pulling at his cock. It’s bloody erotic, seeing proof of how much she wants him… but it’s more than that.
It’s love.
And despite all the things he’s forgotten tonight, he’d never forget this. He presses two fingers inside her, his hands shaking, and lets his body do the rest. Fuck, he’s missed this. She cries out above him, her hands grasping at his hair, tugging him closer. He’s never forgotten this… the way she tastes. The way she smells. The right way to run his tongue against her clit. Exactly how many fingers she needs, pressed against her just there… crooked in a certain position… just as she begins to thrust herself up and down on them, her cries growing louder, more insistent… and yesssss, there it is, she’s right there, right fucking there—
“Harry!” Her hair rubs against the pillow with abandon. “I’m… I’m so close,” she pants, her body starting to shake.
“Come for me,” he commands, his cock fit to burst, his face slippery. “Come for me, Ginny.”
He returns to her clit for a split-second before she says the words that change everything.
Her whole body tenses, a blush spreading up her chest. “I love you!” she cries, her voice strangled… and with that, she’s coming, clenching around him, her body shaking as he rides her through it.
What he doesn’t tell her is that he comes, too. The second those words wash over him. Those fucking words that prove he’s fucked up, fucked up, fucked up… but he can’t exactly help that, can he?
He just shoves his face into the duvet, thrusting his hips once, twice, and with a grunt, he’s off. His cock tightens and bursts, filling his boxers. Soaking through his jeans. He pulls back, dizzy, when the clenching finally stops.
Luckily, she seems too distracted to notice. Ginny’s half-asleep as he rises from between her thighs, pulling the blanket over her. He presses a kiss to her temple and makes quick work of removing his soggy clothes. Fairly embarrassing, this. Like he’s 16 again and rutting on the lawn.
He mutters a quick cleaning charm and changes into basketball shorts before settling down beside her in bed… making sure he’s on top of the duvet.
But as he drifts off, there’s something far less sentimental that hammers through his chest: They need to get their shit sorted.
Before he ever, ever lets that happen again.
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catboygretzky · 3 years
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best stucky fic recs pwease
Okay, disclaimer, these are all like five+ years old (which is the best Stucky era, imo) and definitely not the only ones I enjoy; these are just a few in my bookmarks on ao3.
In no particular order besides the order I bookmarked them and under a read more because there's a shit ton of them (really, it's a lot):
- hold me until we crumble; Not Rated, 23k
“Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”
- despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained); Explicit, 72k
“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.
Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—
“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”
Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”
- family means no one gets left behind or forgotten; Teen, 11k
“Why did you think I wouldn’t like you for being gay?” Steve asks gently.
“You’re Captain America.” Eli’s got his teeth clenched and is resolutely looking ahead. “You stand for truth and justice and the American way. You stand for American morals. You stand for…” he shrugs awkwardly. “Not people like me.”
Steve blows the air out of his cheeks slowly, trying to figure out how to keep the anger out of his voice so Eli doesn’t think it’s at him.
Or, Steve comes to terms with his new world, and gains some children in the process.
- Mistake on the Part of Nature; Teen, 1.3k
Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face.
"Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas."
In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.
- Swear Jar; Teen, 1.5k
Bucky isn't the only troll in the future.
OR
Steve has a Swear Jar and he makes the Avengers pay up every time they cuss.
- Barnes & Rogers and the Goddamn Truth; Not Rated, 19k
There are three well-known facts at Shield High:
1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.
Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.
- perfectly right wrong number; Teen, 32k
It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.
A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.
- The power of the right shirt (a.k.a. God bless America); Teen, 1.2k
"He just…" Phil trails off, mouth gaping. He is staring at the field outside the house, eyes glazed.
Clint sighs. "Yeah, he just ripped a log in two with his bare hands."
- To fill it up with something; Teen, 21k
A fateful encounter with Dr. Strange leaves the Winter Soldier transformed, and Bucky Barnes reunites with Steve Rogers in a most unexpected way.
“Steve brings the puppy inside, into the apartment that doesn't quite feel like home no matter how much he's been trying. He isn't used to being alone. Before the war, he always had Bucky, and his mother until her death. During the war, Bucky was there, too—and the rest of the Howlers, of course—but Bucky always meant home. (And well, maybe Steve's already got a name for the puppy in mind)."
- build it bigger than the sun; Teen, 10k
“Yeah, because nothing says heteronormative like living in Dupont Circle for two years and wearing skin-tight shirts to hit on hot airmen when you go running in the morning.”
“Look, I know you’re being sarcastic but I really don’t get how no one picked up on that.”
Steve and Bucky try to work out their relationship. The Avengers keep getting in the way.
- Memories Circle (Like Birds of Prey), Teen, 32k
Everything seems to be going right, Steve's fighting with his Commandos, they've saving lives-- until Steve falls from a train, is taken prisoner, and turned into the Winter Soldier. Meanwhile, Bucky takes up Steve's mantle as Captain America, and thanks to Zola's experiments, he gets dropped into a whole new time, only to cross paths with a Steve who doesn't know who he is anymore.
Essentially, the events of CA:TFA, mild mentioning of Avengers, and CA:TWS but with Steve as the Winter Soldier and Bucky as Captain America
- The Gentleness That Comes; Mature, 9k
Steve Rogers never really views the things he had to do to get by before the War with any sort of shame or embarrassment. People ask him for his opinions on modern issues in interviews, but Steve has gotten good at talking around those types of questions. Fury insists that there's no way to answer them without casting a shadow of controversy across the reputation of the Avengers, and that's the last thing Steve wants.
But then a sex tape is released featuring Tony Stark in bed with another man, and Steve can't stay quiet any longer.
- salt for the sea; Mature, 7.5k
Natasha comes home with intel regarding the fate of the Winter Soldier; Steve leaves to go and avenge Bucky Barnes.
“It's a list of everyone who was involved in his death, and a rough timeline of everything that happened beforehand,” she tells him.
“And the notebook?”
“I explained what they did,” Natasha says, “The blank pages are for you to explain what you do to them.”
- Lone Cat and Samurai; Teen, 8.4k
"We lost Kitten America sir!" Junior Agent blurted out. Then turned an unlovely shade of purple. "I mean, Captain America. Who’s a kitten. Because magic. Sir."
- Waiting To Prove You're Not Alone; Explicit, 41k
Months after he woke up on the banks of the Potomac, when a reporter mistakenly assumes Steve would disapprove of homosexuality being as accepted as it is in the modern day, Steve accidentally snaps and unleashes his real opinion on the matter... and with that, a secret he's hidden for over eighty years.
When that secret comes looking for him in New York, Steve can only hope that he can get a second chance at saving his best friend, even if it means keeping his heart in check.
“Yeah, back in my day it wasn't tolerated, and because of that I knew from the minute I figured it out, that I’d never get to tell my best friend that I loved him, and sure enough, he died without knowing that I’d been in love with him for a decade."
- I'm Not Sick (But I'm Not Well); Mature, 30k
Steve Rogers doesn’t meet Bucky Barnes in the 1930’s. Instead, Steve meets him April 17th, 2012.
Well…sort of meets him.
In actuality, Bucky had almost hit him with his truck.
Or: The fic where millennial Bucky Barnes nearly runs over a freshly thawed national treasure, and what Steve Rogers did to adjust to modern NYC during those two weeks before the events of The Avengers.
- pure as the driven slush; Explicit, 11k
He should have worked it out sooner. But then, Steve always was a sneaky little bastard—had to have been, just to survive this long.
For the SteveBucky Fest prompt, "Steve is quite experienced while Bucky's never gone beyond second base with anyone".
- Let's Be Exposed and Unprotected, Explicit, 5k
Bucky’s pretty sure he should be into getting fucked through the floor while walls explode around him like in that Mr and Mrs Smith movie that Clint loves. But he likes it like this. He likes being on his back with Steve looming above him, big and naked, blocking out the rest of the world.
- Man of Steel; Explicit, 6.7k
It’s like Steve looked at his metal arm and thought ‘Challenge Accepted.’
- 5 Times Steve Got Arrested and 1 Time They All Did; Teen, 4.9k
What it says, 5 times Steve Rogers ended up in jail (with and without Bucky) + 1 time all of the Avengers got arrested with him.
- the best of you; Teen, 16k
Bucky is on a mission when he gets the call.
They tell him that Steve has been compromised.
[The story wherein Hydra captures Steve to create a new weapon. Bucky, alongside the rest of the Avengers, come together and work through the fallout.]
- pull apart the dark; Teen, 79k
Steve's unending faith in his best friend was beginning to look less like hope and more like fantasy. When they'd caught the Soldier – in a fire fight that still gave Sam nightmares – the only thing the man seemed to recall was how to hit exactly where it hurt.
Four months later, Barnes still refused to speak English. Refused to heed anything but Steve's voice.
So, all in all, it was not a great time for Hydra to attack New York. All in all, Sam really wished they'd just killed him, instead of turning Captain America into a baby.
- Not Another Supersoldier Fantasy; Explicit, 8.9k
Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America's own anatomy. Well, isn't this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.
- the blood of the covenant; Teen, 7.5k
Steve has a "thing" for hot water.
Or, Sam Wilson adopts Steve Rogers.
- Mighty like Love, Mighty like Sorrow; Teen, 19k
After freeing himself from the Russians' mind control, Bucky is left at loose ends, drifting through the decades. Still, he's in no hurry to take up Nick Fury's offer to once again fight the good fight -- especially not when Fury has the nerve to put some imposter in his best friend's old suit and send him out to fight against Chitauri.
- Read Me Like a Book; Gen, 1.5k
In which Bucky accidentally becomes a book collector, because when the universe gives you a million biographies about your boyfriend, you go bookcase shopping. And then he finds out about The Grenade Incident, and the boys actually talk about it like actual adults. (Somewhere, Sam sheds a proud tear.)
- the broadest stroke of color; Gen, 16k
Sarah Rogers always loved Steve's hands.
"Your hands will do a lifetime's work," she'd say. "Remember to do the work you can for those you love."
Almost a century later, Steve does just that.
[The story wherein Steve draws comics for Bucky to help him recover his memory. Through a series of events, the issues are leaked, and Steve finds himself reviving the Captain America comics. He still isn't sure how that happened.]
- If You're Loved By Someone (You're Never Rejected); Teen, 9.4k
You’re fifteen when you realize why you stare at Bucky’s lips more than normal when he laughs and when he says your name. You lean into his shoulder when you walk next to him and when you’re sick you don’t fight off his soft hands. You tease him, he teases back and being around him is so easy you forget what it was like to live without him. You can’t remember life pre-Bucky and it scares you.
- Unusual Weather; Explicit, 8.7k
Bucky’s been at the Avengers Tower for three weeks before he finally gives in to Steve’s gentle coaxing and Stark’s cheerful waving of fistfuls of circuits, and lets them scan the arm.
It doesn’t go well.
- this city bleeds its aching heart; Explicit, 35k
The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.
- Good Boy; Explicit, 13k
Bucky is still adjusting to life with the Avengers, and Steve is willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Increasingly, though, what seems to make him comfortable is strangely intimate.
Surprise, Steve! You're a gentle dom and Bucky wants to be your pretty pet!
- Brooklyn; Teen, 8.8k
"Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"
Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.
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Text
Found ( Part 1/2)
[(Bayverse) Optimus Prime x Reader)
A/N: Okay so this takes place during Transformers: Age of Extinction. When I was younger I loved the movie (mostly because it had dinosaurs) but once I re-watched it...yeah, it was meh for me. In my opinion, first film was better than the sequels. Anyways, I thought “hey, what would happen if reader was separated from Optimus then reunited after all these years?” And so, I did it. I’m dividing this into two parts since I don’t want to make this too long. The second part is mostly going to be the interaction between reader and Optimus. Also, the reader is like in early or mid-twenties.
You can find the second part here!
Summary: 5 years have passed since you last saw Optimus Prime, your guardian. Since then, you’ve traveled with the Autobots and went in hiding with them. Just as you were about to give up hope, Optimus summons the Autobots.
Warning: Angst, angst, angst, angst, spoilers for T:AOE
It’s been 5 years since you last saw Optimus Prime. Leader of the Autobots, your guardian and best friend. In the aftermath of the events in Chicago, you thought that everything would somewhat go back to normal. Hunting down more Decepticons with your teammates, going on missions together, having Optimus scold you for not doing your homework. Though of course, nothing would be the same without Ironhide. His death absolutely destroyed you. But greater matters were forced to be looked upon, such as the public starting to see the Autobots as a threat, which was very stupid considering that they saved the whole damn world, NEST disbanding, the ‘Bots having to be on the run, and finally, Optimus disappearing from the team. With your long time contribution to the team, you were hunted down as well. Cemetery Wind demanded information about the Cybertronians, every single piece of detail, but you didn’t let them. Now with you being wanted and labeled as a fugitive, you could never truly return to your normal life. Your future dream university? Say goodbye to that. Your friends and family? You left with Bumblebee, not wanting to put any of them in danger. If they were, then you knew that their blood would be on your hands and you just could not accept that.
You supported Bumblebee when he was suddenly assigned as the commanding leader of the Autobot refugees. Despite them belittling and discouraging him, you stayed by his side. You always wondered what Ironhide would’ve done. He would’ve probably done things his own way. What would Ratchet do? You missed the grumpy medic and him meddling about your health. And Optimus...you missed him. A lot. You missed the times where he would be off-guard by some of your witty jokes, you missed how he would let you sleep in his alternate form whenever you dreamt of Decepticons, you missed his rare laughs and chuckles. You really, really missed him. As time went on by, you noticed that even Bumblebee was changing. He grew a bit more mature, but you knew that the responsibility of being a leader was too much for him. He missed Sam, and you did too. Though you two were only neighbors at first, you grew close and became siblings with one another. After his run-in with Cemetery Wind, you knew that he wasn’t coming back. At that point, you were growing hopeless. You tried getting along with Hound, Drift, and Crosshairs throughout the years, but you were too tired to hold up a conversation with them. Luckily, they reluctantly accepted you as a comrade.
As everyone was changing, you noticed that so were you. You were no longer joking around as much as you used to. You became quiet and serious. Yes, you would still give out encouragement and words of optimism to not let the flame of hope die out, but lately, it started to feel and sound fake. Were you trying to convince the others to not give up or were you trying to convince yourself? For the majority of the last 5 years, you tried believing that Optimus and Ratchet were still alive, just in hiding. Your poor heart simply couldn’t handle the weight of indescribable sorrow if news broke out that the two were gone. You’ve already witnessed Optimus die once and you couldn’t do that whole thing again. Hope was something that you needed but it started to become something that you could no longer grasp. When your dying flame of hope was at its last breath, that’s when he came in. The voice you haven’t heard in a very long time.
“Calling all Autobots. Calling all Autobots.”
It was Optimus Prime, calling from the radio. Bumblebee abruptly stopped the drive, causing you to almost hit your head against the steering wheel. After you hissed out his name, you turned to the radio in disbelief. Were you hearing things or was this reality? Bee then started to mess the radio until Optimus’s message was playing on repeat. No. Way. This was actually happening. You didn’t even have time to gather your thoughts before Bee started redirecting his coordinate and driving to where his leader was located, at full speed. Your heart was pounding and you were starting to feel the adrenaline rushing in. Reality still had yet to sink in. Everything was starting to get overwhelming, even if only a couple of moments had passed by. This was real. This had to be real.
You clutched your stomach and nibbled the bottom of your lip. This was supposed to be a great thing and it was! Then why did you feel sick to your stomach? You’ve heard of people throwing up from nervousness. Was this what you were feeling? Why were you nervous? You wanted to see him, absolutely! But after all this time, after all these years, were you even prepared? What if it was just a false alarm and you would get trapped by Decepticons or any other enemies? What if Cemetery Wind had already got him and tried to use him as bait? That last thought had almost made you puke right then and there. Whether you were ready or not, it was time. 
You watched as the rest of the team had already met up with Optimus. The color of his alternate form made you stare at him with wide eyes as all the memories of you two together flashed for a second. Your jaw slightly dropped open and so many things ran around your mind. You were so out of reality that you hadn’t even noticed Bumblebee already transforming out of his alternate form and perching you on top of his shoulder. As he walked towards him, you watched Optimus’s transformation one last time and as always, it never ceases to amaze you and put you in a trance.
“Humans have asked us to play by their rules. Well, the rules have just changed.”
His deep voice filled your ears and for the first time, you relaxed. You could never forget what he sounded like, even during your darkest moments when you had tried to forget in an attempt to get rid of the pain that tore your heart to shreds. Words could not do justice to how you were feeling at this exact moment. The moment when you were finally reunited with your long lost guardian. Bumblebee gently let you down from his shoulder and as the team argued and bickered, all you could do was stare and not move. If this was a dream, then you never wanted to wake up. After an eternity of staring, Optimus’s optics met with your [e/c] orbs and you swore that you saw his breath hitch. 
You weren’t the only one that was worried. During Optimus’s time away from the team and trying to stay hidden, there was not a single thought where he would not worry about you. He always wondered if you were okay and...still alive. It broke his spark every time he imagined that you were dead, six feet underground. Or worse yet, if no one had even known where your body was. He thought that once he would get out of hiding, and he knew that he would one day, the first thing he did not want to hear was that you were either found dead or missing. He hoped that you were out there, having a good life and spending your time in university. Until he went to slumber, until the day that he would be found by Cade Yeager, he yearned for the day where he would get to hear your jokes one last time.
Here you were. Alive and still moving with Bumblebee and the others. His expression softened ever so slightly and he felt a big weight being lifted off of his shoulders. He took a long moment just looking at you. You’ve certainly grown and he knew that you were no longer the bratty teenager he grew to love. Sadness washed over him when he realized that he didn’t get to see you grow up as he was absent for the past 5 years. Questions went in and out, but they were going to have to be asked later. He gave you an ever so slightly ghost of a smile and a small nod.
We can talk later.
You snapped out of your trance once Crosshairs and Hound pointed their guns towards the strangers that you had failed to notice earlier. A young lady, a man who seems to be her father, and another boy.
“Stop, Hound- both of you! They’ve risked their lives for mine.”
For a long time, you stood in the same spot Bumblebee had put you. It was like you had forgotten to move. But once you started to walk towards Optimus and the three strangers, each step made your knees feel weak. Nothing was fully sinking in, yet you continued on. You held out your hand towards them and went on to introduce yourself.
“Uh, hey there. The name’s Cade Yeager and this is my daughter, Tessa. I assume you’re with the other…’Bots?” The young girl next to him gave you a shy smile and a small wave before the boy came in.
“Oh and I’m Shane, by the way. Nice to meet you.”
You shook the three people’s hands and gave a small but welcoming smile. At long last, you finally got to meet some humans that weren’t hunting you down and trying to kill you. It felt so refreshing to interact with someone that wasn't an alien, car transforming robot.
“[Y/N], and yeah, I’ve been traveling with the Autobots for umm...a few years now or so. Also, I just want to thank you for helping Optimus. Seriously, you have no idea how grateful I am, along with the others as well.”
The way you spoke of Optimus’s name gave you a foreign feeling. Later during the straggling years, especially recently, you rarely spoke of his name since whenever you did, it always gave you an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. But now, you were able to say it with ease after knowing that he was okay. Cade gave you a smile and scratched the back of his neck.
“It’s no problem at all, really. I saw the way you looked at him and I’m glad that I could help.”
Optimus stared and observed you during your whole interaction with them. There were so many things to say and so many things to discuss with you. Though as he promised, he would have to do that later. Your hair was a bit of a mess, your clothes were a bit dirty and there were some torn bits here and there from all the battles and run-ins you had with the enemy. If he were to look closer, he would be able to notice scars that have been implanted onto your skin. Gashes, cuts, bullet wounds; they were there. He tore his gaze away from you and looked towards the rest of the team.
“Autobots, we will remain here and recharge for the rest of the day. Once everything is settled, we will discuss further plans with Cade Yeager.”
And so, the whole team went to settle down for the day. To your despair, you had little time with Optimus to discuss pretty much everything that had been going on. He had wanted to talk to you as much as you wanted to talk to him, but he was already occupied with what Bumblebee, Crosshairs, Hound, and Drift wanted to tell him. All the reports and notable news about Cemetery Wind and some bickering between the team. Meanwhile, you tried to distract yourself by helping the Yeagers and Shane set up a camp. Drift had been more than helpful by chopping wood from nearby dead trees with his blades. Before you knew it, night had fallen. Hound was able to set a campfire by using measures that were too extreme for your taste. You sat down beside Bumblebee, staring into the crackling fire. You quietly listened to the conversation that was going on beside you. The Autobots spoke of any possible refugees that had come within the years while Cade was being the typical overprotective dad. That almost made you chuckle. It reminded you of your father whenever he saw you hanging out with a potential love interest. God, when was the last time you had even thought about your parents? You wondered how they were doing and if they were still kicking. You wondered that if you were ever to come back to them, would they ever forgive you for running away and scaring them to death? Your heart ached as you thought more about them. If you could just give them one message that told them that you were okay, that would be enough.
Suddenly, you looked up when you heard Drift talking shit about Bumblebee once again. Almost simultaneously, both you and the giant yellow robot rolled your eyes before he stood up from his seat and approached the giant blue robot.
“He’s like a child.”
“This child is about to kick your ass.”
“He brings us shame.”
It didn’t take long for the two to start brawling. You crossed your arms and legs and sighed as you watched the two of them getting it on. Normally, you would’ve tried to stop them and diffuse the situation, but you were just too tired. Too much has happened in one day and you deserved some rest. Plus, Optimus was here now. He could handle them. Then, you noticed the three other friendlies move towards your side, taking a couple of steps back behind you. You heard the girl Tessa comment on what was wrong with them. Ironically, that was your first thought that came into mind when you first met the refugees. Glad that you weren’t the only one.
“Lockdown is hunting us and humans are helping. We need to know why.” Optimus spoke.
“Listen, I don’t know why, but I have an idea about who.” Cade replied.
That led to you watching a couple of clips that he managed to snatch from a drone. Just as you thought that things couldn’t get worse, it did. You watched as Ratchet and Leadfoot had met their demise by the humans attacking them. Ratchet...the grumpy medic you became very fond of, one of the very first Transformers you’ve met. All the missions you went with him, all the meddling you had to put up with from him, and all the scolding he gave you because he cared about you. Though you weren’t as close to Leadfoot as you were with Ratchet, you knew that he was a good ‘Bot. Two of your closest friends, down and out. Ratchet and Ironhide, both who never got to peacefully pass away. You hung your head low as you rested your elbows on top of your knees. Your hair fell in front of your face as silent, bitter tears fell to the ground below you. “Savages” as Hound had called him. And he was right, that was the exact word that  had described how the humans were in the footage. Ratchet had even begged that he was a medic and an Autobot. Your blood continued to boil even once the footage was finished playing. 
Quickly, you wiped away the tears by harshly jabbing your knuckles into your eyes and looked towards the others as they continued to discuss what was happening. Cade mentioned that the headquarters were located in Chicago and had offered to help them with the mission. He told how if he didn’t help them, then they wouldn’t be able to get their normal lives back. Funny thing was that once you’ve associated yourself with the Autobots, there was no way your life was going to fully revert back to its normal self. You and Sam knew that all too well.
“Autobots, I have sworn to never kill humans,” Optimus said, “but when I find out who’s behind this, he’s going to die.”
This old robot always manages to catch you off-guard. In all the years you’ve known him, you have never heard him say anything with a threatening voice. A scary one, in fact. To you, he was the calmest person you knew. Calculated and dangerous, but he was calm. He defined a true leader. But he was going to kill humans? Just before he declared that statement, he admitted that he swore to not kill humans. You knew that he was enraged with what Cemetery Wind and KSI had done to his close friends and you didn’t blame him for wanting to kill someone responsible. It just seemed so off; so out of character. It was jarring.
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mallowstep · 3 years
Note
I'd love to hear some ✨StarClan Slander✨ from you
starclan fucking sucks and i'm not afraid to say it.
ugh. where to begin.
okay, starclan sucks in a lot of different ways. like, a lot. it sucks from a narrative perspective, it sucks from a lives-of-cats perpsective, and it sucks from a worldbuilding perspective.
like: starclan is incredibly inconsistent as worldbuilding. it. gah. that part is most in my control when i write, so i try to really like. maximize said control. but if you compare the description of fireheart getting his nine lives to any modern starclan scene, it pisses me off. starclan is so fucking Cool, and now it's not.
i could go on for a while, but it's more of the same.
and then from a narrative perspective like. it causes so many problems. and i don't mean starclan causes problems for the characters, i mean starclan is simultaneously the cause of a lot of problems while the narrative wants us to believe they are the good guys. starclan causing problems? interesting. starclan causing problems but they're Very Good Actually? lazy.
this is a small thing but like it bothered in tbc? okay so. the fact that the clans' relationship to starclan has changed doesn't bother me. it's really interesting. they've been through this time of massive upheaval, something which often correlates with this uptick in spirituality.
i do not need convincing to believe that as the clans have gone through these past ten or fifteen years, with an exodus and the whole great battle (even setting aside the religious implications and just focusing on: big battle, lots of betrayal, lots of death), and everything with skyclan and darktail, yeah!
like, there was a spiritualism wave in the us after the civil war because that's what people/humanized cats do in those times. they latch on to spirituality and religion. why do you think witchcraft is on an uptick again in modern times?
however the problem is the Narrative never acknowledges this, which makes it feel not like an intentional culture change but authors being lazy. i'm not sure what's worse: authors just leaning on starclan because it's interesting and easy, or authors simply failing to convey the nuances of culture change.
whichever makes the erins sound better, pick that one. i have no lost love for them, but i try to keep my criticisms factual.
anyway, i digress, here's my favourite example:
in tbc, it's this Big Deal how the moonpool is the place of the medicine cats, and other cats cannot enter, Nope No Sir, which, like, really fucking confused me.
what?
do leaders not speak with starclan anymore? is that. is that not a thing?
i mean, in tpb, leaders visit the moonstone all the time. apprentices visit it before coming warriors. it's pretty normal.
and i'm fine with the culture of the clans changing for the moonpool to be a medicine cat exclusive: that does not fundamentally bother me. there's even the smallest nod to this idea in po3, during outcast, when they mention that the tradition of going to the moonstone/pool has fallen out of favour, and maybe that's bad.
and like, yeah, okay: i don't really understand Why it fell out of favour, especially in thunderclan. thunderclan had the Longest journey to the moonstone, and now they have either the shortest journey or one of the shortest, so there's really no excuse, but like. that's diaspora, you lose things, i'm okay with that.
what i'm not okay with is the sudden transformation of the moonpool to a Holy Place only Medicine Cats can touch. like, mothwing has been to the moonstone: she knows this isn't how it was. the others are young enough to not know, but then, when did this idea get started? who put it in their heads? why?
jayfeather has had so much pov, it wouldn't be hard to explain. he could've even taught alderpaw about it. or something could've been slipped into an early shadowpaw chapter. it really would not have taken much: a single line in outcast or something was all i needed to accept the moonstone/pool visitation tradition was dead (even if i think it should've continued), but unless i've forgotten, this is just. never explained.
this is how it Always Was (even though it wasn't, and there are cats who should Know it wasn't).
heck! heck! mistystar shared tongues with starclan in her novella. i don't remember where riverclan was during this scene in tbc, but my point is more. someone should've been able to say something. anything.
probably before the actual scene, given how few cats would know about this: bramblestar should since he was made a warrior in the forest territory, but i'll give the other leaders a pass. all i need is like. one line. from one cat. that's it. that's all i need.
finally, starclan obviously is uhhh. evil? it's evil, right, we can all agree? there is no evil starclan au we're In the evil starclan au, i should write a good starclan au.
the thing about this one is like. it's a product of the others. if starclan wasn't Real and Tangible, then like. then like. it wouldn't matter that they gave shitty advice and did terrible things, because now you just have cats dreaming of others, searching for answers in the Strict Code, and that would all make sense.
(did that paragraph like. read? i can't tell. basically, if starclan wasn't confirmed as a real thing with real dead cats, i would be fine with starclan cats being shitty and ooc, because now it's not actual cats we know and love, it's other cats' perceptions, memories, and inferences of them as they search their ancestors for guidance from the warrior code.
so of course their advice is going to be terrible and inconsistent and leafpool is going to decide spottedleaf said she should have kits and then starclan is going to backflip when the kits are born: all of that makes complete sense as long as starclan isn't an actual place. as long as it's just religion, just dreams and omens, there is no problem with that.)
and then if starclan like. if their role in the clans had been covered more thoroughly by the narrative. if how they gave shitty advice a lot was covered. i would also be okay with it.
but the best we get is mothwing's whole "yo uh. starclan doesn't save cats. i save fucking cats. give me my god damn credit for saving your fucking life." like that's a bad thing no. mothwing. queen. please continue ur so right.
and just as a cherry on top, the ableism in starclan is exhausting. it's its own thing, really, but like. i was talking with @foxstride about this. and like. how disabled cats will just have their disabilities erased.
personally, i'm okay with briarlight not being disabled in starclan. i think that makes sense for her character. i think it is Bad that the narrative's response to that was "now that she's dead she's finally happy again!", it should have been "thunderclan failed to give briarlight the actual support she needed to be happy", but the fact that she's not disabled in starclan doesn't actually bother me.
she was sick basically 100% of the time after her accident, and thunderclan was really shitty to her. do you remember how happy she was to "get" to sleep in the warriors' den? she was a fucking warrior that was her right.
thunderclan failed her, but the takeaway is "she couldn't be happy until she was dead and her disability was magicked away." that's bad. that's. i'm not okay with that part of it.
(briarlight deserves so much better than thunderclan.)
but for pretty much every other instance of it, there's none of that. maybe, maybe, you could make a similar argument for cinderpelt, but i would disagree with it.
my cinderpelt opinion is and always has been: she would never have chosen the path of being a medicine cat for herself, but she ultimately finds happiness and fulfillment with it. like, it wasn't right that she was forced to become a medicine cat because of her accident, but it was something she did ultimately enjoy and was happy to dedicate her life to. if she was given the chance to become a warrior after she had been a medicine cat for a while, she wouldn't have taken it.
it's part of why when i'm doing like. big time aus for warriors i still make her a medicine cat. because i like her growing to love it. i like that it's not right, how it happens, but she still loves it eventually. it's a very interesting idea to me that there aren't many characters to explore it through. jayfeather and alderheart are similar, but not in the same way. anyway i'm rambling because these are all the things i thought about when writing stolag, back on topic.
so i don't think cinderpelt should have her disability poofed by starclan, i think she should keep it. i also think that cats who are injured and then aren't disabiled in starclan should be representitve of that. they should be the age before they got injured.
briarlight should be apprentice aged, a hypo-cinderpelt should also be apprentice aged. this is something i'm fine with. i make hollyleaf apprentice aged in starclan because i think she was happiest before the ending of po3.
moving on: snowkit? can apparently hear? wtf?
and y'all already know how much i hate that jayfeather can see in his dreams. i said No that's Not Canon anymore and no one (no one) can stop me.
in conclusion: starclan is bad in a lot of ways, and if it weren't so damn inconsistently bad, i think i wouldn't hate it half as much.
<3
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5lazarus · 3 years
Text
Love and Red Ink
Varric tries his hand at a more literary Bildungsroman about his youth as a Kirkwall bohemian. Bianca tears it apart, editing for his own good. Sometimes love is in the margins, your almost ex-girlfriend telling you--I wasn't that pretty, when I was that young. Read on Archive of Our Own here.
Varric slips out of bed, sheets rustling, and puts his pants back on. He sneaks a quick glance at Bianca, who’s still sleeping. Her mouth is slightly agape, her hair dark with sweat. She looks old in the gray morning light, but they are old now. He’s turning forty in two months; she’ll be forty-two.
The inn she picked in Val Royeaux is adjacent to the alienage, and so accustomed to strange couplings. The clerks and the maids do not speak, and to those elves, every dwarf is interchangeable anyway. Her husband only gets angry when it’s too blatant, after all. The occasional assignation does no harm. It’s when they wander into the garden at Kirkwall parties, or spend whole Merchant Guild meetings giggling to each other, that he gets upset. Varric can’t blame him. He’d be upset too, if his wife were so obviously in love with another man.
Raggedly he drags his hand through his lank hair. He can’t think like this, let alone write. He finds a spare ribbon, borrowed from Daisy, in his coat pocket. Easier now he pulls back his hair, thinking he might have to order a bath, and perhaps Bianca can be coaxed to join him, she’s not due to meet the Comtesse ’til noon—and the words come marching orderly in their lines.
She snores gently, like a pampered house cat that still has its claws. The years have kept her svelte, her mouth as seductive as the first time he ever sank his teeth in, and Captain Donnen wipes the vestiges of plum lip-paint from his face. He leaves the mark on his collarbone; his shirt hides it, but he can feel it burning in his skin.
Varric grabs the leather-bound journal Hawke gave him for his birthday last year and throws himself onto his chair. He gropes about the desk, looking for a quill, but none the inn left have been sharpened. He’s got a new project going on, and he likes it, it’s easier to write than his detective stories, though he doesn’t think they’ll sell as well. He’s writing about love, real love for once, and he’s writing about youth. He’s writing about getting old. He’s writing about lovers who shouldn’t have been star-crossed, because the wedding was set, and he’s writing maybe about what could have happened if she showed up. He takes the quill and finds his penknife in his trouser pocket, almost ready to tack it down.
Then the words are gone, and he sees them for what they are: tawdry, tired, dull. Sighing, he gets up and opens the shutters. The morning flutters in, cracking the wheels of the wagons, the high voices of the sellers, the promise of spring. Varric turns around to look at Bianca, to see how the sunlight has transformed her, but she’s already up, half-dressed, her breasts swinging slightly as she laces herself into her boots first. He smiles. He’s never understood what she does that: put her trousers and shoes on first.
Bianca inquires, “Like the view?”
He gets behind her, rubbing himself against her as an answer, and traces his hands up her sides and onto her breasts. She laughs, leaning into him, and presses his hands onto her breasts.
“You don’t need to leave, not yet,” he says. She grinds into him as encouragement. This is why she puts her boots on first, he thinks. So they can do this.
“Babe,” Bianca says, “yes I do.” Now she pulls his arms away, gently. Varric sighs. She puts on her shirt but leaves it unbuttoned for now. She sits in the chair by the bed, but not on the bed, and grins up at him. “Besides, I don’t want to disturb you while you’re writing. You looked like you had a good idea.”
Varric waves a hand. “It’s crap. Most of the time, it’s always crap.”
Bianca shrugs. “Your readers say different.”
“Yeah, well, my readers aren’t that smart.”
“Hey, you said it, not me.” Bianca crosses her legs and begins doing up her shirt. “But at least you’re making people happy.”
Varric says, “You want to read what I’m working on now?”
“No.” It’s annoying how sexy she looks, saying that, staring up at him flatly.
Varric says, “Oh, come on, you never read my books. Why not just this once? I think you’d like this once.”
Bianca says, “I’m not your editor or your wife, Varric.” Varric flinches, and Bianca looks away. Grudgingly, she relents. “What’s it about?”
Varric offers her the notebook. He’s easy with letting people see first drafts, half the fun of writing is seeing how his friends like it. Hawke encourages his worst metaphor. Isabela, out of all people, makes him cut them back. Bianca’s never liked reading much, it’s something he’s learned to accept about her, but if it’s about them, perhaps it will be better this time.
He says, simply, “Us.”
Bianca’s eyebrows raise. She stares at the journal in his hand. “I don’t want to read that.”
Varric says, “We weren’t that dumb, when we were young. I changed the name. It’s not that autobiographical. No one would recognize it, besides you. Or Bartrand. And it’s not like he’s capable of reading anything right now.”
“Who wants to read about two rich kids deciding to listen to their parents?” Bianca says. “Who wants to read about getting old? You’re a good storyteller, Varric. Stick to your stories. You don’t need to tell truth.”
Varric grins. “Who said I didn’t exaggerate?”
“I’m certain you described my breasts as much bigger than they actually are,” Bianca says flatly. He waves the book around her, and her expression tightens. “Stop that.”
“Nah,” Varric says. “Make me.”
Her eyes narrow. She likes a challenge. She leaps from the chair, snatching it from his hand so fast he flinches. He forgets, sometimes, how much stronger she is than him. She keeps in better shape than him, she has to, being that involved in the Merchant’s Guild. The stakes are so high, when you’re trying to bribe your way back into Orzammar.
She flips the notebook open, turning to a random page, and reads aloud, “She was the flame in that dark garden, and we were all drawn to her, turned to little insects in her radiant light. It was cold that night in Kirkwall, and I remember stamping my feet to keep off the chill as I smoked, listening to the revelry in the ballroom. Then she stumbled past, brilliant in red velvet, and said, ‘Quick, hide me—I just poisoned Eldric’s lover. Oh, is that elfroot? I’ll take that too.’ Her chest heaved as she panted to catch her breath—Varric, what the fuck is this?” She’s laughing now. “You’re making me sound a lot more—edgy than I ever was.”
“You were edgy,” Varric says helplessly. “You were the first dwarven woman I met who didn’t give a damn for the rules.”
“My mom told me to poison Amara,” Bianca giggles. “And I was the one who had the elfroot.”
Stonyfaced he watches her attempt and fail to suppress her laughter. She turns to another page, throwing herself back into the chair. Varric watches impassively. He’s remembering why he stopped pressing her to read his writing. She’s always such a bitch about it.
Bianca says, “Oh, Varric. I was never that pretty, not even when I was young.”
“You’re beautiful,” Varric almost croaks.
Bianca says, “You’re sweet, but I’m not. And I’ve never tried to be. If you were going to write about me, that should’ve been it. About a girl who says she’s not going to be a noble-hunter and wins an apprenticeship to a mechanic instead. About the first surfacer paragon. Or the first surfacer who they said should be a paragon, and how I built my clan back up.”
“Which you’ve done,” Varric says, “beautifully.”
She rolls her eyes. “And what’s this? Really, Varric, your prose is purple but this is a bit much. How many times are you going to compare me to a flame? I thought you hated the heat. Is that the point? Is it a metaphor, for how I burned you?”
Varric takes the notebook from her, scowling. “Alright, alright. That’s enough, you don’t need to go on about it. I just…I just wanted to try something different, that’s all. Sorry I didn’t write when we first me the way you liked it. I always thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d laid eyes on. Brilliant. That’s what I was trying to say.”
Bianca softens, and she pushes herself up and into him. Stiffly, he lets her maneuver around him. She pats the side of his face twice, like a slap without heat—or the way you dismiss a child. “Then just say it. You don’t need to write it. You always get me wrong, that’s why we never worked.”
“We still work,” Varric says. “We’re here, aren’t we?”
Bianca says, “Stick to your crime novels, babe. That’s the sort of shit people want to leave.” Gently Varric disentangles him from her. He grabs his shirt and finishes dressing. He can hear her behind him, getting ready. He needs a bath, he needs a shave, he needs to wash his hair.
Bianca opens the door. “Don’t take it too personally. I hate romance. Sorry I was so harsh. Anyway, I have to get to work.”
Varric says, “Yeah.” He leans against the desk, away from the window. Despite the sun the room feels inexorably dim, or maybe it’s his heart. He wants a drink. He’ll get a bath instead.
“I’ll see you when I see you?” Bianca flashes a smile and lets the door shut. He closes his eyes and listens for her heavy footsteps down the hall, then onto the staircase, each step creaking as she launches herself out of the inn and into the next step of her career.
He thinks, I shouldn’t write about something that never fucking ends.
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ambivalent-anarchy · 3 years
Text
No-one
Masterlist
Gender: Female
Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Warning: None
Based on a true story. Just wanted to write something relatable for myself lol and anybody else that's gone through what the reader's going through also wtf it's already thanksgiving break? that's wild
Summary: Peter finds out something about his crush that might totally change the game for him
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"Dare," Ned said, a smile creeping onto his face as the rest of the bus stared at him.
"Okay," you said, looking around for inspiration. "I dare you to..." You tilted your head to the front with a smirk."-go sniff Mr. Harrington's armpit then come back and tell us how he smells," you said, earning some laughs and a disturbed face from MJ.
Ned shuddered slightly, looking to his friend Peter for support. Peter simply shrugged, barely able to hold in his laughter from the frivolous dare.
The entire back of the bus turned to watch as Ned slowly stood up and made his way to the front seat where Mr. Harrington sat, cursing himself out under his breath the whole way there. "Uh, hi Mr. Harrington!"
"Hey there Ned!," Mr. Harrington greeted, but quickly ran himself into a fit of worries, standing up to check the back of the bus. "Why're you up here? What's wrong?"
"Nothing!," Ned yelled, trying to get him to sit back down. "I just... kinda really want to hear about your wife!" Ned looked back to see the entire bus giving him frantic thumbs up.
"Oh," Mr. Harrington said, sitting back down with a blank look on his face. "Well, did I tell you how she set every piece of clothing I bought her on fire and sent me a video of it?" He leaned over a bit as he reached down his pockets to pull out his phone. "I'll show you."
Panicked disgust transformed Ned's face. '1...2...3!' He sucked in a deep breath before practically plunging himself into his teacher's arm.
"Jesus Christ!," Mr. Harrington yelled in shock at being practically tackled by a kid. "What are you doing Leeds?!"
Ned backed up immediately after, face deep red. "Um, I JUST REMEMBERED THAT I LEFT SOMETHING BACK THERE! BYE-!"
The bus erupted with laughter and applause as Ned sprinted back to the back of the bus, leaving a confused Mr. Harrington behind him.
"He smells like cheap cologne," he coughed, his head still reeling. "Cheap cologne covering up a week of no showering..."
"MJ, truth or dare?," Flash asked after the commotion had died down.
"Truth," MJ mumbled, her eyes never leaving her phone.
Flash leaned over till he was practically halfway in Michelle's seat. "Who are the top five hottest guys in our class? Rank 'em." He tilted his ear towards her, obviously expecting to hear his name first.
In response, MJ simply smirked and brought her free hand up to count it off.
"Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, and nobody," MJ answered with a shrug, earning multiple groans from many boys on the bus.
"That's not acceptable!," Ned exclaimed.
Brad nodded. "Yeah give us a real answer, Michelle."
MJ scoffed, scrolling higher on her phone. "That's the answer I gave you. Therefore, it's acceptable."
You grinned, shaking your head at MJ. "Can't argue with that logic," you said with a shrug.
It was hilarious to see the boys and their little egos, desperate to hear that Michelle Jones, of all people, thought they were hot.
"Well what about you, [Y/N]?," Brad asked, directing his attention to you.
You raised your eyebrows as nearly all of the boys in the bus turned to you with desperate or curious faces. "What about me?," you asked with a smirk.
"C'mon, who's your top five?," Ned questioned.
You placed your hands over your cheeks. "What and help you little lost boys' fragile male egos?," she teased. "Yeah, no thanks."
The boys groaned.
Peter looked over the seat to where you were sitting. He watched as you held your head up, satisfied at the frustration you were causing the guys. Could he? Should he? Ya know what, screw it.
"Well then, truth or dare [Y/N]?," he squeaked, his hands already shaking.
Your eyes flickered over to Peter curiously. "Um, dare, Pete."
He breathed in deep, face immediately turning red from seeing the entire bus looking at him. "I dare you to tell everyone your crush!," he rushed out. "A-and don't lie!"
But then everyone turned towards you with questions and assumptions and guilt quickly fell onto Peter's shoulders. He couldn't make you say that to everyone. How would he feel if someone did that to him? "Wait, nah no no nevermind, I was just fooling around you don't actually have to-!"
Flash spoke over him. "Yeah [Y/N], who's the lucky guy?"
Abe laughed. "C'mon, spill."
Peter hecticly turned and sat back down in his seat, Ned quick to turn with him.
"Dude, I can't believe you just said that!," Ned whisper-shouted with a large grin.
"I can't believe I just said that!," Peter repeated in a gasp, frozen and staring at the back of the seat in front of him in horror.
"Why did you ask her that?!"
"Why did I really just ask her that?"
Ned gasped dramatically. "Oh my gosh do you think she'll say you?!"
"Oh my God what if she says me?!," Peter reeled.
"No-one. I've never had a crush."
Peter's eyes went wide before he turned back around onto his knees in his seat.
"Wait, seriously?!"
"B.S.!"
"Total lie!"
"I smell cap."
The other guys were obviously not putting up with that answer.
Ned frowned. "Like foreal? You've never had a crush? Like ever? In your entire life?"
Peter however, was still trying to process what he'd just heard.
"No-one."
No.
One.
It's not like he expected you to like him back- a part of him sort of wished for it but he knew that was unlikely- but no chance? None at all?
Suddenly you'd become the new focus for every boy on the bus.
"Seriously, who was your last crush?," Brad asked.
You stared for a while. "Do celebrities count?"
"No."
"Oh, then no-one."
Flash stood up. "How does that even work? Are you ace or something?," he asked, right before getting smacked in the head by Abe.
"You can't just ask people that stuff, Flash!"
Flash shrugged. "Yeah I know...but like-" he wiggled his eyebrows. "-are you?"
You groaned and laid back in your seat, already growing tired of this little 'interrogation' the boys were having. "No. I like guys, okay? I've seen enough to know that much at least" You shrugged. "I've just never liked any guy I've met before."
Millions of questions roamed through Peter's head.
Were you lying? Did you just have high standards that no one you'd been around had ever met? What was keeping you from liking people?
He wasn't some big hot-shot lady killer. There was no way he could be your first crush. That's just narcissistic to even think about. Peter had grown to become quite content with not being the guy who just reeled in girls.
He peeked back over the bus seat at all of the boys surrounding you, obnoxiously attempting to show themselves off.
Brad lifted his sleeves and flexed his biceps. "[Y/N], I mean, c'mon. Can't resist the gun show, right? This does nothing for you?"
That one made you laugh. "You guys really aren't as attractive as you think you are!"
Peter groaned for what must've been the tenth time that morning. And the worst part? He couldn't even be mad.
"So, like never? Never in your life?," Flash asked.
Betty chimed in as well. "Not even that 'puppy love' phase we all had in middle school?"
You shook your head. "Why are you all so invested in who I haven't liked anyway?"
"Okay okay," Brad said. "So if you were gonna like someone, who would you like?"
MJ bursts out laughing and you rolled your eyes. "That is literally the dumbest question I've ever been asked in my entire life. I just said I've never-"
MJ nudged you and tilted her head to one of the seats furthest from yours. Peter Parker and Ned Leeds were sitting there, Ned watching the commotion intensely while Peter was seemingly knocking his head into the back of the seat in front of him repeatedly. Poor guy.
You knew he had a crush on you. You could at least do him this one little favor.
You grinned. "Peter."
"Peter?!"
'What?!"
"Parker?! Are you serious?"
"Awww."
Peter looked up frantically. "Um.. okay..why?"
"Yeah, that needs an explanation [Y/N]," Flash sneered, suddenly losing interest when his name wasn't called.
You shrugged and looked at the nerdy boy. "I like his rosy cheeks," you laughed before looking back at your phone. "Plus, he minds his own business, unlike other people."
The school bus filled, half with sounds of disinterest and the other half with sounds of amusement.
"Now can we go back to actually playing the game now? Jesus..."
The game of Truth or Dare continued and you couldn't have been more glad that the guys' interrogation was finally over. But then you got a text on your phone.
MJ: look at parker
Looking over you saw Ned shaking the boy as he simply just stared out of the window with a dumb look of glee in his face. "Dude, snap out of it! We still have a competition to go to, where's your brain gone?"
Ned turned to you with a frown. "[Y/N]...I think you broke him."
Tagging mutuals: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @spidey-reids-2003, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @kelieah
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sanchoyo · 3 years
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danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.
-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...
-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question
-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)
-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.
-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*
-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.
-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!
-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...
-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.
-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?
-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.
-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.
-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.
-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?
-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.
-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)
-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao
-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.
-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...
-is he....
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-you know....
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.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)
-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!
-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!
-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.
-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)
-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.
-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...
-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.
-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...
-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.
-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)
-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/
-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize
-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.
-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)
-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...
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-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)
-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!
-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.
-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!
-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(
-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!
-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)
-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.
-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!
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taiblogcomics · 3 years
Text
I Can’t Pet Force You To Read This One, But...
Hey there, high school crushes. Well, it's finally here. Can you believe it? Yes, counting from the original Xanga site (which, yes, still counts. It's like our own Golden Age publication or apocryphia), this is our 10th anniversary of reviewing comics. That's fantastic. I'm excited, can't you tell? I can tell, since I'm writing this preamble a good two months before the actual anniverary~
So, last year we reviewed the absolute pile of dreck that is Heroes in Crisis. And while that was worth ripping into, I'd rather not spend the 10th anniversary hating on something. I'd like to do something actually meaningful to me. I've teased about this one for many years, probably for as long as I've been doing this blog, and I think it's time we stopped pussyfooting around and reviewed some Garfield. But not just any Garfield. It's finally time, my friends. This... is Garfield's Pet Force.
I dunno how many people will remember this one. Maybe you recall the direct-to-DVD movie adaptation from 2009, or at least advertising for it. I never saw it, but apparently it differs a bit. They also appeared a few times in those Garfield comics from back in the day. We even reviewed a couple (some were on the Xanga blog). But what we're looking at here are the original novellas published between 1997 and 1999. So yeah, these really are from my childhood. And since I've long espoused that Garfield was always funnier 20 years ago, this must be actual premium Garfield content, yeah? By golly, I hope so, because we got five whole books here today. So we should probably get into them~
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Book 1: The Outrageous Origin
This is a classic sort of superhero cover. Standard team shot of poses, and that's fine for a first volume. In fact, that's great. Later editions of this would replace the lightning-filled gradient background with a pure white one, but I have this original version. We'll get to specifics about these characters in the meat of the story, but let's talk about the costumes for a bit. Very classic early-'90s sort of look, before the Dark Age kicked in. Reminds me a lot of Jim Lee's X-Men designs, actually. Making all your characters visually distinct is important in a team book. The heavy lean into secondary colours is unusual for heroic characters, but not unwelcome.
So we actually start with a cold open in the superhero universe. This is pretty much to introduce us to the characters as soon as possible, and thus I'll do the same for you here.
*Garzooka, team leader, super strong, has a razor-sharp claw, and can shoot radioactive hairballs from his mouth. That's... at least a unique power, I don't think anyone on the Justice League can do that~ *Odious, the dumb muscle with the accent on the "dumb". Possibly even stronger than Garzooka, and possessing a "super-stretchy stun tongue", an elastic tongue that can scramble the minds of whoever it adheres to. *Starlena, the team girl. She can fly, and she has a siren song that can put those who hear it into a hypnotic trance. Garzooka is the only one immune to its effects, for reasons that are never explained. *Abnermal, the kid-appeal character. He has ice powers, forcefields, and an ill-defined "pester power" that means he can annoy people on a greater scale than normal folks. It's pretty much only used for comic relief, but that could be a brilliant power in the right hands. *Compooky, the brains of the operation. Other than flight, his powers are limited to super intelligence, which means he's usually the exposition guy. There's probably a reason they left him out of the movie adaptation~
You got all that? Don't worry, we'll introduce you again later in the book. What actually happens in the intro chapter isn't really important, it's just setting up the universe. In fact, it's all taking place within Pet Force #99, a comic just enjoyed by Nermal. Yes, we quickly cut over to the main Garfield universe ("our universe", the narrator calls it), where Pet Force is just a comic book. The Garfield gang is all outside, enjoying a cookout prepared by Jon Arbuckle. Nermal is extremely enthused by his comic book, and brags about how he has all 98 previous issues sealed and polybagged, and this one will soon join them. Sorry, Nermal, this came out in 1997, the speculator boom already went bust~
Garfield dismisses comic books as stupid because you can't eat them or use them as a blanket, and declares that none of the stuff that happens in the comic could possibly happen in real life. Uh oh, irony! Because these things can happen, and do! It's a parallel universe, baby! This might be one of my earliest introductions to a "parallel worlds" concept. Much like Earths 1 and 2 in pre-Crisis DC, the events of the comic are essentially the real life adventures of their super-powered counterparts in another dimension. Most of the action in these stories will take place there~
So here's the setup: Vetvix (the parallel equivalent to Liz the veternarian) is an evil sorceress and scientist, who essentially wants to experiment on animals in peace, and possibly subjugate the universe while she's at it. You could argue that Liz is an odd choice for villain, since our universe's Liz isn't particularly evil. But then, our universe's Garfield isn't particularly heroic either. She operates out of a deadly space station called the Orbiting Clinic of Chaos, and at present she's waiting for the arrival of her henchman, Space Pie-Rat, who is a six-foot-tall anthropomorphic rat dressed in stereotypical pirate getup. Vetvix has just finished inventing a levitation ray, and she'd like Pie-Rat to go out and use it to steal all the food in the universe. Vetvix doesn't think small, is what I'm saying.
The counter to Vetvix is Emperor Jon, ruler of the planet Polyester. He's kind and benevolent, even if he's a little dippy and his fashion sense atrocious. Having gotten wind of Vetvix's latest plan, he contacts Pet Force in their ship, the Lightspeed Lasagna. Upon learning the problem, Pet Force gives chase to Pie-Rat. They eventually corner him on some desolate planet, landing and entering an abandoned factory. Unfortunately, they're not safe amongst the dangerous machinery, because this turns out to be a trap. Vetvix has been busy as hell, because she's also invented a metal that's impervious to their powers. And that's not all, because she's also basically invented the Phantom Zone, where she traps Pet Force forever. It specifically mentions it doesn’t kill them, because it wouldn't be kosher to murder the heroes in a Garfield book~
The Lightspeed Lasagna has both onboard cameras connected to the heroes' belts as well as automatic return protocols, so within two days, Emperor Jon knows exactly what's happened to Pet Force. He needs help, so he calls upon his most trusted and powerful advisor: Binky the Sorceror. Binky's just as loud and obnoxious as in the main universe, but he's also a powerful magician. He conjures up a spell for Emperor Jon that lets him pierce the veil between universes. It's basically Equestria Girls rules: parallel universes have similar characters between them. So to replace Pet Force, they need the nearest genetic equivalents from another universe. And that's the versions of Garfield, Odie, Arlene, Nermal, and Pooky that we know and love~
Back in the main universe, it's another day entirely. Another cookout is taking place, and Nermal has received his special anniversary issue of Pet Force #100. The cover's really special, dripping with '90s cover gimmicks like glow-in-the-dark and embossing. A rarely used one, though, was "portal to another universe". That was pretty expensive to print, so you won't find many comics like Nermal's. Maybe he had something there with the collecting after all. The cover glows, and while Jon is distracted by the grill, Garfield and Friends disappear~
They reappear in Emperor Jon's wood-paneled throne room, now transformed into Pet Force. Emperor Jon and Sorceror Binky try to explain the situation, but Garfield--now Garzooka--is disbelieving of the whole thing. In fact, even the idea that Jon can now hear him talk absolutely floors him. Since he's about to deliver the exposition for everyone, can we talk about Compooky for a minute? This spell has just granted sapience to Garfield's teddy bear. I don't expect deep philosophy from a children's novella, but the ramifications of this are really under-explored. Like, never mind the whole idea of a teddy bear having the same genetic makeup as an alternate universe equivalent. He goes from inanimate object to fully conscious being, and he just rolls with it.
Anyways, once everybody gets caught up on what's going on and accepts the new reality, a training montage ensues so the group can all learn to use their powers without killing each other. Once at least reasonably trained, the reborn Pet Force is sent out to stop Pie-Rat. He's gotten sloppy in the times with Pet Force dead, so they track him down easily. After a brief scuffle where Garzooka takes his eyepatch, Pie-Rat flees in his ship. They follow Pie-Rat back to the Orbital Clinic of Chaos, but they can't go in the front. That led the original Pet Force into a trap. Finding an unguarded maintenance hatch--standard on any big space station--they enter Vetvix's lair for a final confrontation!
After dealing with the Waiting Room of Doom, which slowly fills with outdated magazines, they enter Vetvix's inner sanctum. Frustrated with Pie-Rat's failure, she uses her magic to turn him into an ordinary mouse. Vetvix then attempts to use her same weapon on this new Pet Force, but thanks to story contrivance, it only works on beings born in this universe. As other dimensional visitors already, they can't be banished to another dimension. She then pulls a Dr. Claw and runs off cursing Pet Force's name while her base self-destructs. Vetvix is a very "discard and draw" sort of villain, it seems. Pet Force, of course, makes a harrowing escape just in the nick of time.
Returning to Emperor Jon, they vow to be ready to return whenever they're called on, since evil never stays dormant for long. Odious even gifts Emperor Jon with the mouse-ified Pie-Rat as proof of their victory. Well, I'm glad they remember that, so they didn't accidentally murder a major villain in their first superhero outing. They're returned to their own universe, and the time differential between them places them back with Jon having not had time to even look up from the grill. Garfield begins to doubt the adventure even happened--until that night, when he finds Pie-Rat's eyepatch still on his person. Ah, definitive proof of... eyepatches, I guess~
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Book 2: Pie-Rat's Revenge!
You have to wonder where, in a space-faring superhero setting, Pie-Rat got the inspiration for his classic pirate motif. It's a little incongruous is all I'm saying. And hey, remember when I said earlier that Garzooka's purple-and-green colour scheme was odd for a hero? Well, here he is as a villain! That'll catch your eye. This would be a terrific comic cover, which is what you want in a series like this.
The book opens with a brief recap of the previous story's events, then moves into the new plot. See, Emperor Jon has opted to keep the polymorphed Pie-Rat as his pet. How very Ron Weasley of him. That's pretty apt, actually, because similarly Pie-Rat has maintained his intelligence in his new mousey form. Pie-Rat gets sick of being Emperor Jon's pet and plans a daring escape, exploiting the emperor's dimwitted and loving personality against him. Pie-Rat jams the lock with a food pellet and makes his escape that night.
Once free from his cage, he encounters Binky's cauldron, still left in the throne room from when the sorceror summoned Pet Force from Garfield's universe. Figuring he has nothing to lose, Pie-Rat jumps in the leftover brew. Suddenly he finds himself growing. He returns to his original anthropomorphic state--but with a twist. He's now twice his original height, a staggering twelve feet tall. He scoops up the rest of the remaining potion for later, and sneaks out of the palace as best as a 12-foot rat can sneak. Desiring revenge on both his former employer and his longtime foes, he steals Pet Force's ship and makes his escape from the planet, headed for Vetvix's newest base.
After his guards help Emperor Jon put the pieces of the problem together, they decide they must once again call upon the powers of Pet Force to recover their missing vehicle and stop the newly embiggened Pie-Rat. Fortunately, Garfield and friends have been watching movies all weekend, so Jon doesn't notice when his pets disappear from the living room in a bright flash. Of course, once returned to the alternate universe and the situation explained, they still have a problem: how do they give chase to Pie-Rat when he's got their ship?
And speaking of Pie-Rat in their ship, he's followed the trail of a mysterious energy output, and it's led him right to Vetvix's new base, the Menacing Moon of Mayhem. See, this is why you don't blow up your base: the backup base is never as good. if it was, it wouldn't be the backup. Given that it's such a shoddy base, Pie-Rat is easily able to get inside and get close to Vetvix. She's expecting a technological attack, so she's unprepared when he pulls out that vial of magic potion and sprinkles her with it. And naturally, the potion that made him grow 12 feet tall makes Vetvix shrink to 5 inches. It's magic, we don't have to explain it!
Pie-Rat takes the magic crystal that Vetvix uses to fuel her powers, which of course didn't shrink because magic is just bullshit. See previous paragraph's last sentence. And while Pie-Rat takes over the base and begins plotting a further revenge against Pet Force, we cut over to them. They're at Sorceror Binky's own castle, and it's clear he's a bit of a hoarder. This is to their advantage, though, as they eventually piece together a working spaceship out of old car parts and other things, all patched together between Compooky's know-how and Binky's magic. This seems like the sort of book where I could use that "it's magic" quote every other paragraph. But craft a new--if small--ship they do, and speed off in the newly christened Planetary Pizza.
The rickety little ship does eventually find its way to Pie-Rat's base, saving him the trouble of being proactive as a villain. The magic thing keeps happening, and Pie-Rat basically becomes Discord for a bit while he fights them, doing things like turning Starlena's siren song into actual living music notes. One by one, the members of Pet Force are taken out, with only Garzooka is left. He and Pie-Rat struggle, while Pie-Rat tries to aim the magic crystal at Garzooka. Garzooka uses his claw to rip the crystal from Pie-Rat and defeat him.
Unfortunately, here's where the cover comes in. It seems the moments Pie-Rat was focusing the crystal during the struggle affected Garzooka's mind. He puts the crystal around his own neck. which turns him evil. He helps Pie-Rat to his feet, and the pair escape in the Lightspeed Lasagna. While Pet Force pursues them in their ramshackle ship, the new criminal duo strikes the storage planet of Deli to steal their food. Pet Force manages to catch up as the villains celebrate their spoils, and use a magic blast from the systems Binky installed to short out the Lightspeed Lasagna. This enables them to dock with the ship and climb aboard for a contfrontation.
The group fights, and once again the bearer of a bullshit magic crystal subdues the heroes easily. Annoyed now, Garzooka takes hold of Starlena and prepares to kill her or something. She taps into the one thing she has left: she's not fighting just Garzooka, but Garfield in his body. She drops some heavy put-downs, which resonate with Garfield, and he hesitates long enough for her to cut the crystal off him. The crystal hits the floor and shatters, undoing its evil magics on Garzooka's mind as well as on all his teammates. With Pet Force reunited, Pie-Rat is easily subdued and locked up.
The group waits for the ship to power back up, then speed off to apologise to the planet Deli. Following that, they head back towards Vetvix's moonbase. That night, though, the magic that was making Pie-Rat 12 feet tall wears off, and he escapes from his cell. He steals the remaining shards of the crystal, climbs into the Planetary Pizza, and makes a getaway. As a bonus, he also repeats the power-down spell against the bigger ship, giving him ample time to escape. And he's not the only one. Over on the Menacing Moon of Mayhem, Vetvix also returns to her proper size, and abandons this base as well. And when Pet Force fails to find her, they simply return to their own universe, ready to be called on once again in the future~
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Book 3: K-Niner: Dog of Doom!
Another very basic comic book-style cover. K-Niner is a much more typical villain in style. This one's actually a wrap-around, and features the rest of Pet Force reacting to K-Niner on the back cover. Which is good because, other than the first cover, the covers all have a heavy Garzooka focus. Which makes sense for a book series, I suppose, you wanna assure the kiddos that Garfield's gonna be in the book. But as a comic book series, this would be a bad look for a team book~
So after our standard introduction and recap, we start off with Vetvix in yet another new base, the Floating Fortress of Fear. I'm sure it's very intimidating, if she can keep hold of it for more than a single book. She's picking up from the epilogue and putting the last touches on K-Niner, mostly enhancing his intelligence. Now, you look at the cover and tell me what kind of voice you'd expect. Some sort of German or Austrian accent, like the doberman on Road Rovers? Does anyone remember Road Rovers~? Anyways, but no: he speaks with a posh British accent. You know, the "I say, good chaps, looks like we're in a bit of a sticky wicket, eh wot?" type. Trust me, you can tell. But just because he sounds refined doesn't mean he's not evil.
I also love that after the initial "trapped them in the Phantom Zone" bit, the villains just go whole ham. K-Niner here demonstrates that he is indeed evil by threatening to rip out Vetvix's throat. Let your villains be villainous is all I'm saying. She's pleased he's so vicious, but feels he needs to learn his place as well. She force-chokes him until he complies. She then gives him his assignment: she thinks dogs should be liberated. The Boy Mayor of Second Life would approve, and so does K-Niner. Turning pets on their masters is just his style.
K-Niner takes a portable evolution gun, and immediately sets off. He begins on the planet Kennel. Isn't it neat how every planet is named after an English word that describes its function? K-Niner quickly takes over the dog population and turns them against their masters, because boosting their intelligence also makes them evil, of course. They use enslavement collars on their former owners, and within a few days, the dogs now run the planet. We cut over to Emperor Jon on Polyester, where a man has crash-landed a ship. He's an escapee from Kennel, and he's here to report the events so we can get the plot moving and once more summon Pet Force!
And summoned once more they are, Garfield and Friends once more conveniently disappearing in a split second while Jon's back is turned (this time they're outside playing volleyball). And once back in the parallel universe, Emperor Jon fills them all in on K-Niner's dastardly doings. Garzooka, naturally, takes great offense to dogs being in charge, and takes his duties as a hero completely seriously for once. Pet Force takes off for a confrontation with K-Niner in the Lightspeed Lasagna. And speaking of Pet Force's ships...
The Planetary Pizza, piloted by Pie-Rat, plants its pads down on polar planet Glacia. Pie-Rat is here seeking a way to restore his magic crystal and regain his mighty magic powers. He's sought out the home of a legendary evil wizard, who's known by the name of... Barfo. I see why Barfo keeps his location a secret. But anyway, Barfo is the one who made the crystal, so naturally Pie-Rat reasons he can restore it as well. Suprisingly once on Glacia, Barfo's evil lair is pretty easy to find. His manservant, Hobart the Gnome, brings Pie-Rat before the wizard, and within moments the crystal is restored! Pie-Rat turns to thank Hobart, but Hobart suddenly turns into Vetvix!
Yes, Vetvix knew all along that Pie-Rat's quest would lead him here. And as she was once Barfo's student in the ways of evil magic, she knew she could get the old coot to go along with her plan. Barfo returns the crystal to Vetvix, restoring her powers. And so Pie-Rat, a recurring villain in three whole books, is unceremoniously done away with, as Vetvix teleports him inside an asteroid, trapping him in solid rock. Even if the asteroid were hollow or he displaced the interior when he teleported in, no doubt he'll suffocate within moments. That's pretty harsh.
With that over, we rejoin Pet Force as they approach Kennel. K-Niner's battle cruiser spots them incoming, and shoots the ship down, even in spite of Abnermal's forcefields. Pet Force bail out of the ship, and Abnermal uses his powers to make snow to cushion their fall. Upon landing, a contingent of mutant animals attack. The mooks aren't much, but K-Niner himself puts up an impressive fight. However, one of the mooks pulls a gun and points it at Compooky. This is why Compooky usually stays aboard the ship, but that wasn't an option. Rather than let their friend get hurt, Pet Force surrenders.
Pet Force is held prisoner separately from Compooky, with both the cell's technology making it freeze-proof and threats of "don't break out, or we'll shoot your compatriot". Their imprisonment is not long, though, as suddenly the power goes out. Pet Force takes advantage of the situation and make their escape, quickly running into Compooky. K-Niner didn't think the hyper-intelligent teddy bear needed a high security cell, and just locked him in the basement. It was easy for him to then break out and shut down the local power grid. This also has the side effect of turning off the control collars the humans were wearing. How convenient!
With control of the planet now tilted in their favour, Pet Force now has time to both fix their ship and reverse the polarity of the brain-boosting weapons, turning the dog population of Kennel back to their normal selves. Though the experience did change the pet owners of Kennel. Having experienced life in their pets' shoes (so to speak) for a bit, they've resolved to treat their canine companions a bit more equally. More being allowed on the furniture, less stupid tricks for treats. Still, Pet Force can't stay long, and they head off in pursuit of K-Niner's battle cruiser. This is why most superheroes don't have spaceships (Jedis don't count): if your enemy also has one, they can flee way more easily than on foot.
Not willing to let another place go to the dogs, as it were, Pet Force catches up with K-Niner. With his previous success, Vetvix has stepped up the timetable and sent him after Polyester right away. Emperor Jon is in danger! They enter the planet's atmosphere, and are attacked by fighter craft. They fend them off, but their weapons system is damaged in the fight, so they can't simply use the reverse brain-rays and solve it quickly. The team splits up instead: Garzooka and Abnermal will go after K-Niner, while the other three will find the planet's power source and knock out the collars, since that worked so well the last time.
The two heroes quickly make short work of K-Niner's guards, and then turn the battle to deal with the Dog of Doom himself. While the struggle goes on, the rest of Pet Force reach the planet's power grid. Using a clever tactic, Compooky overloads the power and causes and electrical storm that simultaneously undoes the brain-boosting effect and shorts out the enslavement collars. There's only a few pages left, after all, and we have to wrap this up.  K-Niner is reverted back into an ordinary dog, and the emperor is reverted to an ordinary non-enslaved person. The day is saved!
And now once again, Pet Force prepares to return to their own universe. However... when the spell clears, the five heroes are still standing there. Something is blocking the passage between dimensions, and Pet Force is trapped. And while Pet Force's adventures have taken place between mere moments in their own universe, they have always returned quickly enough that Jon didn't notice a thing. But this time, as Jon retrieves the volleyball and turns around to his pets, he's surprised to find they've all vanished into thin air...
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Book 4: Menace of the Mutanator
This one's very striking because of its more painted look compared to the heavy black outlines the rest of the covers have. Does this one count as having the whole team on the cover? Because, spoilers, that's what the Mutanator is: the rest of Pet Force mashed up into a villain. Again, though, that's definitely a striking image that'd draw in readers to a comic cover. In fact, while Garzooka may be over-used as a cover focus, several of these also show him imperiled in some way, and that's nice for character stuff. That helps balace it a bit~
I wanna say, before we start, that I'm impressed by the continuity for the series as a whole. They could've just written each story as a standalone, but for a series of 100-page children's novellas starring Garfield characters as superheroes, things happen in these books. Like, maybe not sweeping status quo changes, but events affect the plot of each next book down the line. And that's where we pick up! Right where the last book left off, with Pet Force now stuck in the alternate universe, unable to return home to Jon. But if they can't go home to Jon, well, maybe then events will conspire to bring Jon to them~
Yep, because Jon happens to wander into the room where they keep the copy of Pet Force #100 that acts as a portal to their universe, he gets transported into the Pet Force universe. And since Emperor Jon is still an extant entity, there's just two Jons now. Jon, of course, is a bit freaked out, and it takes several pages to explain the whole deal to him, and also have a showcase of all their powers to pad out the book some more. Eventually, they decide to call in Sorceror Binky to examine the problem. When he has a go of it, a sudden tornado emerges from the cauldron and whisks away Pet Force--save for Garzooka, whose prodigious strength keeps him anchored.
Garzooka heads out in the Lightspeed Lasagna to track Pet Force's signature, glad to get away from a double trouble Jon. And while he's searching, the scene cuts to Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear. Hey, one of her bases actually lasted more than one book! This is where Pet Force has been transported to, once more in a power-proof cell. Vetvix monologues to the heroes, as she is wont to do, explaining that she's the one who cast the spell to keep them from returning home. And further, she's brought them here to mutate them into her servants.
While Emperor Jon exposits about his backstory (turns out he is not of royal blood, and has about as much legitimate claim to the throne as you or I do), the search continues. Sorceror Binky detects Pet Force, giving them all a view of what happens next. The trapped members of Pet Force are literally broken apart and reassembled: Odious' body, Compooky's brain inserted into the chest, Abnermal's hands, and Starlena's head. She christens this beast "Mutanator", and it is soullessly obedient. I also wanna say, Mutanator's kind of a non-binary icon, aren't they? (The comic uses "it", but it was 1998 and alternative pronouns weren't really a thing yet.) Muscular, masculine body, but confident enough to still wear lipstick. It's a look, is all I'm saying~
Mutanator continues to possess the combined powers of Pet Force as well. Vetvix sends them to attack the planet Armory to gear up before attempting to conquer Polyester. And meanwhile, thanks to the convenience of being able to scan all of Compooky's memories now that his brain is part of Mutanator, Vetvix has the perfect trap to spring on Garzooka--or should she say Garfield. Yes, she really knows the whole origin for Pet Force now, and now she knows all Garfield's weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and probably blood type and other dating profile stats~
Thus, when Garzooka receives the coordinates from Emperor Jon and arrives at the Floating Fortress, he finds himself menaced by giant spiders. Vetvix couldn't think of a way to get Mondays to attack him, so the Giant Spider Invasion will do. Spiders are apparently very formiddable foes, Garzooka's personal fears aside. They can swat gamma hairballs out of the air, they can construct webs as quickly as certain Marvel heroes, and their hairy exoskeletons are resistant to both claw and strength. But despite his fear and Abnermal's running commentary, Garzooka manages to trounce the spiders with a carefully applied flame--taking Vetvix's blueprints with them.
Garzooka heads out once again to track down the Mutanator, leaving his less-than-all-together friends in the safety of their forcefield prison. While he's off, we return to the perspective of his target. Using their combined powers, the Mutanator swiftly conquers the planet Armory and sets their sights on Polyester next. It's not a bad plan, honestly. With the stockpile from Armory, not only will the Mutanator be more powerful, Polyester won't be able to use the planet for backup. Fortunately for the two Jons, though, Garzooka intercepts the Mutanator before they can leave Armory.
The fight's actually pretty good. Very back and forth. But even despite Garzooka's great strength, the Mutanator wins in the end. Thankfully, Vetvix puts her conquest of Polyester on hold to take the time to retrieve Garzooka and add his power to the Mutanator. This, of course will be her undoing--in a completely ridiculous way, of course. For back in the palace, our universe's Jon is watching Pet Force's struggles with the scrying cauldron. And he leans in a bit too close. Sowhile Vetvix is prepping the machine to divide Garzooka's body like she did the rest of Pet Force, Jon suddenly tumbles through the dimensional warp caused by the cauldron and lands on Vetvix, which causes her to put the machine in reverse. A real Jonnus ex cauldrona there, eh?
The Mutanator disappears, their existance as a unique being wiped out as their pieces return to their proper Pet Force owners. With Pet Force reassembled, Garzooka takes out Vetvix with one of his gamma-radiated hairballs while she's distracted by Jon. Pet Force decides that the vile veternarian should have a taste of her own medicine, and stick her in the body-splicing machine with some of her guards. This divides them all up and mixes them into bizarre combinations. It also has the side effect of disabling Vetvix's magic, so they can return to their own universe now.
The book wraps up here. Pet Force first returns to Armory to both return the stolen weapons and also make repairs on the buildings that were damaged in Garzooka's fight with the Mutanator. That's the sort of thing I'd like to see in more superhero stories in general. The two Jons part ways, with the Emperor believing the other Jon's heroism to have been deliberate. And thus are Garfield and friends returned home. And just like the end of their first adventure, where Garfield couldn't be sure if it really happened, so too is Jon's memory fading. Had he really witnessed all that? Only his pets know for sure--and in this universe, they can't talk~
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Book 5: Attack of the Lethal Lizards
This one's another wrap-around, showing the rest of Pet Force engaging the remaining Lethal Lizards on the back cover. This is one advantage books have over comics: a front and back cover you can use for your story-telling. The Lizard designs are pretty good for a villain group too. Like Pet Force, they don't adhere to a particular theme, but they do look good individually. Garzooka roasting a hot dog on a stick might be a bit too comedic for a superhero story, though. It sets the tone wrong. How "lethal" can they possibly be if Garzooka is out here roasting hot dogs in the middle of battle?
So here we go, last book. After the usual recap, we open with Jon explaining to Garfield and friends his latest plans: they're going to WackyWorld, a theme park dedicated to Jon's favourite cartoon, The Wackies. Both Garfield and Nermal think the show is lame, and if those two agree on something, you know it must be so. In less lame universes, however, trouble is once more a-brewing. So it turns out Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear has been orbiting the swamp planet Reptilius this whole time. And her various experiments in the last two books have been radiating the planet in magical energy...
From that magical power, three reptiles find themselves uplifted in intelligence and granted fantastic powers. Please say hello to our three main villains for this book: Snake, an enormous snake (the only one without an anthro design) with stretching powers; Chameleon, who can shapeshift; and Dragon, a komodo dragon with fire breath and the bad attitude to match. While Snake and Chameleon figure out their powers, Dragon declares himself the leader as he's clearly the smartest, strongest, and most powerful. They name themselves the Lethal Lizards and start plotting how to rule the planet.
After that exciting intro, though, the book kind of slows down. First we get a whole chapter of Emperor Jon also deciding to go on vacation, to planet Funlandia. With Vetvix out of commission for a while, there's no better time. In short, he's out of the castle and Sorceror Binky is in charge. This is followed by a chapter of Jon and his pets at WackyWorld. It's certainly an accommodating amusement park to allow pets on its grounds. Garfield at least gets along with the food, but if you know anything about amusement park food prices, the amount Garfield eats will make your wallet weep. Jon takes his mind off it by dragging the pets along to a ride. Surely they have to be under the height restriction~
Fortunately, we get back to the actual stars of this book, and we see a bit more of their dynamic. Snake is the sort who sucks up to whoever's calling themselves "Boss" at the moment. Dragon is power-hungry, and it's clear he'll sell out his allies at the drop of a hat. Chameleon is Starscream. Anyway, they trek through the jungles of Reptilius until they find a downed spaceship. Reviewing the logs reveals it was a scout ship from Vetvix, and they also learn of Vetvix and her mission. However, they don't know where Emperor Jon lives, so they crowd into the the newly christened Rapacious Reptile and set course for the stars.
The first planet they come across is a world called Klod. Quickly the Lethal Lizards beat up the populace and find the local government. Chameleon shapeshifts into a dignitary, pretending to be an advance entourage for Emperor Jon, schmoozing with the governor until he learns both what Jon looks like and the name of his planet. With this information secure, Chameleon nips out suddenly, and the trio sets forth towards Polyester. Governer Klutz calls up the palace as soon as the reptiles depart, and reports the incident to Sorceror Binky.
Binky wastes no time, and he dials up Pet Force. Since all five are in one place, he's able to pull them through even without them being near the gateway through issue #100's cover. Convenient! Pet Force, however, does waste time, as a lengthy comedy scene eats up several pages before we just get on with it. Eventually, the situation is conveyed, and they figure it's safer to keep Emperor Jon on Funlandia for the time being. Compooky stays behind to help plan some strategies, while the rest of Pet Force boards the Lightspeed Lasagna to intercept the Lethal Lizards before they even arrive.
Pet Force spends the next few minutes both scanning for incoming ships and bickering with each other, so I'm very glad when the Rapacious Reptile appears on their detectors before too long. Dragon threatens the ship, telling them to move or he'll knock them aside. It's a spaceship, dude, you can move in three dimensions. The ships trade shots, and while Chameleon's piloting is actually pretty good due to his independently-rotating eyeballs, eventually both ships crash land on whatever planet is nearby.
Both ships crash right next to each other, which is improbable but less ridiculous than some of the contrivances in these books, so I'm okay with it. Now you'd think what with the enemies being reptiles and Abnermal having freezing powers that this battle would be over really easily, but no. In fact, Garzooka and Dragon are pretty evenly matched. Snake turns out to be immune to Starlena's siren song because snakes don't have external ears. See, now there's a contrivance I find a bit weird. Snake swallows Abnermal whole, and Chameleon and Odious get literally tongue-tied. The Lethal Lizards actually live up to their name pretty well.
As the fight continues, half of both sides are laid out when Compooky comes rushing up, saying he has an urgent message from the emperor. And that's when he sucker-punches the team. It was actually Chameleon in disguise, having gotten knocked away when he and Odious separated. So yeah, round one goes to the Lizards, and they make their escape first. Pet Force regroups, and they give chase. The Lizards have enough head start to really lay siege to Polyester before Pet Force arrives, though. They even get access to the palace using Chameleon's shapeshifting, leading to Sorceror Binky letting slip the real location of the emperor just as Pet Force arrives.
Another fight ensues--see, now it's really a superhero story--and the Lizards leave again 2 and 0. This time Snake uses his venomous fangs to attack Starlena. This leads to the weirdest contrivance yet. Maybe not the worst, but definitely the weirdest. They have only minutes to save Starlena. So how do they do it? Well, they notice that Odious drools quite a lot. It's very "fluid output". So they have Binky magically reverse Odious' drooling, so that he has "fluid input" on his tongue instead. It becomes a big suction sponge and sucks the poison out of Starlena. They then restore the drooling, and he just harmlessly drools out the poison. What.
With their teammate saved, Pet Force pursues the Lethal Lizards to Funlandia. They get there just in time to rescue Emperor Jon from their clutches, with Garzooka and Odious combining their strength to literally rip a kiddie ride out of the ground. Starlena corners Chameleon in a hall of mirrors, turning his own trick against him. Snake is undone by Odious' strength. And Garzooka fights Dragon to a standstill, finally trapping all three on a roller coaster still operating. When the ride comes to an end, Abnermal freezes them all until the authorities can retrieve them.
Naturally, Emperor Jon thinks it's all part of the show (because Jon is dimwitted in any universe). The Lizards are sent to a lizard-proof prison (seriously, it specifies this), and Pet Force returns to their own universe. As usual, Jon didn't notice his pets go missing during the dark amusement park ride. The book concludes on an ominous note, however, as the ship carrying the Lethal Lizards makes its jump to lightspeed just as it passes the Floating Fortress of Fear. The shockwave knocks over some debris that reactivates the combining machine, restoring Vetvix to her full evil might once more!
The end!
No, really. Those five books are all there was. I hear it may have continued into the comics, but I don’t know how accurate that is. I didn’t really look into it.
But boy, what a ride, huh? Let’s dissect the books one at a time, since it only seems fair to take them as individual stories.
The Outrageous Origin: It’s a fairly basic origin story, I’d say. It kind of has to be. I guess my main gripe is that, like Rita Repulsa’s entire run on Power Rangers, the heroes never fight the main villain directly. In fact, there’s barely even an evil plot in this one. You have henchmen and some traps, and that’s about it for the menace.
Pie-Rat’s Revenge: A cautionary tale about why you treat your minions with respect. This one’s pretty good, but the events depicted on the cover make up such a small part of the book. Wouldn’t it have been more fun if Garzooka was turned at the beginning of the story? Book 4 would at least do the reverse of that, so it’s not a major complaint~
K-Niner, Dog of Doom: I think this one’s about as middle of the road as you can get. What a coincidence that it’s also the middle of the series! Like I said in the recap portion, it’s a shame that Pie-Rat’s story ended here. This one definitely feels more “villain of the week” than most.
Menace of the Mutanator: This one might be the best book in the series. Garzooka, alone, battling against the best parts of his team? That’s gripping stuff. I guess the main problem is that the Mutanator isn’t really a character in and of themselves. Like, K-Niner, he may have been a generic rent-a-villain type, but he had a personality. Mutanator is little more than an extention of Vetvix’s will.
Attack of the Lethal Lizards: I’m a bit split on this one. The bits with the titular Lizards are great. They steal the show! But the parts where it focuses on either Jon kind of drag, and Pet Force is a bit too jokey here. Like, I get the point is that they’ve relaxed into their roles now, and there’s not much point of doing it as a Garfield story if they don’t actually use the character personalities, but... I dunno. It’s good, but it could have been better~
And that’s it! Like, I dunno how to wrap this up. Pet Force was neither my first exposure to superheroes nor my first introduction to the Garfield brand (you can thank Saturday morning cartoons for both of those). But for some reason, maybe just the absurdly goofy premise, it always kinda stuck with me. And I think that’s a good enough reason to make it my 10th anniversary review, don’t you~?
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miraculouscontent · 3 years
Text
(Shanghai-related asks)
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Anonymous said:
Did you see how, supposedly, the reason Marinette goes to Shanghai is bc Adrien is there. Because you know, that's a totally normal thing to do.
You know, there’s this suspension of disbelief where characters are allowed to do certain things that you’re like, “okay that’s not realistic but it’s fun so I don’t mind.”
Yeah, this is not fun.
Anonymous said:
Based on the new trailer for the Shanghai special, one of my biggest fears is that we won't see Marinette interacting with Sabine's family outside of Uncle Wang, even Sabine is nowhere to be seen in the trailer, please ZAG at least give us one of Sabine's parents, we're starving
I’m still rolling my eyes that there’s not one piece of dialog with Sabine talking about stuff related to her family, though her cheongsam is also flipped so--
Anonymous said:
Synopsis for the Shanghai Special: To join Adrien in Shanghai, Marinette is going to visit her uncle Wang who is celebrating his anniversary. But, as soon as she arrives in China, her purse gets stolen with Tikki inside, whom she needs to secretly transform into Ladybug! Without money and alone in the immense city, Marinette accepts the help of a young and resourceful girl, Fei. The two girls will ally and discover the existence of a new magical jewel, the Prodigious. Hawk Moth, also also present in Shanghai, seeks to finding it since a long time... Yea, cause Marinette still hasn’t suffered enough :p
mAriNEtTe mAkeS a mIsTakE iN eVeRY sToRY
Anonymous said:
As someone of Chinese descent, I felt extremely bothered by how miniscule the boy's , the one on the right (?) taking a picture with Adrien, eyes were when I saw the Shanghai trailer. It feels extremely... stereotypical? Not sure if that's the right word. I mean, he could just be squinting, but it still bothers me. Especially if that's their normal eye shape.
I heard similar complaints when Kagami arrived. They really stress the eye shape when it comes to someone full-on Asian (and if you’re half-Asian then you get wholly round eyes which makes no sense). It also gets weird because I feel like we have characters in the show who could pass for Asian (Mireille at least has the proper eye shape without it being over-exaggerated; I don’t remember if her skin tone is correct or not), but when characters are actually Asian, it’s usually taken to the exaggeration.
My sympathy goes out to everyone of Chinese descent who’s going to have to deal with the special. I’m literally a mish-mash of whiteness (American, French, and German) but even I know it must suck.
Anonymous said:
im tempted to watch the Shanghi special with my family, we're part chinese and have been to shanghi a few times. Then we can laugh and yell at it together, no need for show context
omg
As long as you have fun! Give it a good roast for me!
Anonymous said:
Excuse my french (pun intended) but
WHAT EVER LOVING HELL HAPPEN TO THE SPECIAL!!
Marketing.
Also the writers wanting to make sure you don’t forget that Adrien is a guy who exists.
Anonymous said:
Hi, Clarity! If you don't mind me asking, do you have any thoughts on the upcoming Shanghai special based on the information and trailers we have?
When I found out that Marinette was spending time with her great-uncle Wang, I was so excited. I was hoping that this special will be a breath of fresh air and spontaneously focus just on Marinette and her family for once. Maybe we'd explore Marinette's Chinese heritiage and learn more about her mother, Sabine and extended maternal family.
Then I saw Gabriel in which I eye-rolled 180* like any degree of character development. Like... great... more needless Miraculous lore/exposition. (Can we even call it exposition? I doubt any of the Miraculous-related events will be referenced within the show.) Whilst Miraculous lore is great and does expand our knowledge on the Miraculous, it steals any individual focus that Marinette could potentially have. It also tends to "hands everything" to Hawk Moth, who gets almost everything done his way without him even trying. Hmm, I guess as Shadow Moth, he won't have to use Mayura as his catslyst anymore. He'll have to ruffle his own feathers. (I don't know why I'm making a bird joke about Gabriel here. I hate him snd I couldn't care less about him.)
Also by reading the special's synopsis, it mentions that Adrien and Gabriel go to China for an unknown reason (maybe business related.) So Marinette decides to go to spend time with him (also spend time with Wang concurrently.) This might be a minor issue but I don't want Adrien to always be the centre focus of Marinette's motivations/desires. (He isn't always but I feel he is more than he should be.) Let our beautiful amazing girl just have an amazing time with her family in China. The writers need to stop Adrien being an integral part of Marinette's character. This special should be about Marinette (along with her family) and them solely.
Moreover, I'm worried that Marinette will imminently be embarassed/scolded/humiliated in some way. The synopsis mentions that she loses her bag (that contains Tikki.) Inevitably, she's going to be scolded for this for not being careful. The writers will blame her for the destruction that Hawk Moth will cause and not the actual man terrorising Shanghai himself. And no needless lovesquare drama please. If I'm not interested in it in Paris, don't think I'll be interested in it in Shanghai. And please do not let it be used to cause Mari/LB to suffer. Romance (no matter how contrived it is in this show) should be about finding joy and happiness. It should never intentionally be a burden for anybody, especially if it's for comedic purposes. Why am I worried that CN will yell at LB this time?
Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. I hope that the writers actually have them communicate properly about this time. Like they should both be honest (an important aspect of healthy relationships), to build clarity and to avoid confusion. Like the needless drama in NY could have been avoided if Adrien didn't ignore Ladybug and actually TRUSTED her by telling her the truth about him going somewhere instead of complacently lying to her, then losing her trust. Both could have told each other that they are going to NY "for personal reasons" without giving too much detail. To prevent suspicion, the writers could have included the American superheroes hosting an event inviting them or asking for their help to defeat that Micromonster guy. LB and CN could have both then collectively made a decision that if anything were to go wrong in Paris, they could quickly use the Horse Miraculous to transport to France in time (like Marinette was advised to do in "Startrain") or use the Rabbit Miraculous to travel back in time/manipulate events. There was no need to make Marinette suffer for the sake of needless lovesquare drama.
However, I love the animation for the special. It is mesmerising and beauitful and the graphics look superb. The atmosphere looks so clean and the nature-aspects (Hawk Moth's hideout) are intricately detailed. The lighting also complements the charactrrs and the settings' colours. A huge round of applause to SAMG for their excellant hardwork for animating this special despite the pandemic!
If you have any worries about the special, free free to do so! I want to conclude my message by thanking you so much for being such a lovely, kind, confident and resilient person. You always confidently express your opinions and strcture your essays clearly and legibly. I always look forward to reading your posts. I know I can always count on you to express our frustrations with the show's writing on our behalf and speak up for Marinette's mistreatment and inustice! 😊
Firstly, thank you! I gotta defend Marinette because we know the show won’t!
Anyway, I agree with basically everything you said. My biggest comments on it are like--
- I’m already tired of places just being used as set pieces for specials. I actually have a history of disliking specials/movies for shows because its purposes is usually just to get people hyped up, but that means big plots with big stakes and I end up thinking, “okay, but why can’t we have that in the show?” That’s always the issue I take with it; movies/specials prove that they can come up with high stakes plots, but we can’t have equivalents in the show because...?
- I officially tune out now anytime Marinette’s crush on Adrien is mentioned. It gets tiring and it just makes me feel bad for her and simultaneously angry at the writers for treating her this way. Add that onto the “Marinette always makes mistakes” rule and it’s clear that they’re creatively bankrupt and needlessly restrict themselves for the sake of making Marinette suffer. I’m just insulted that Gabriel is going to Shanghai for his fashion business but Marinette being into fashion is ignored.
- The animation is nice but whenever I see it, I’m reminded that we couldn’t have much SAMG in Season 4+5 because they were busy working on the special. The show should always take priority over some lame special/movies. I won’t judge the special for it but I’m salty about it regardless.
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