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#and they're all the funniest shit i've ever seen

jackhues · 1 year

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ferrari?! - charles leclerc

request: hii I loved your wolff!reader x charles ig concept could you please write more of them<33

requested by: anon : )

notes: trying out some new things, hope you guys like it, and pls don't be silent readers!! thanks for requesting <3

join my f1 taglist!

part one

pictures are not mine!

y/nwolff

liked by scuderiaferrari, lucawolff, pierregasly & others

y/nwolff - charles has got dad's approval, ferrari on the other hand... also, luca's a pain, i don't recommend having older brothers. check out the full video on my youtube! tagged lucawolff

pierregasly: did you guys take him on vacation to tell him?? -> y/nwolff: we needed him to be a little bit happy. i had no idea how he was going to react

lucawolff: older brothers are goated -> y/nwolff: i'd like to return mine

y/nisqueen: the pinky promise 🥺 liked by y/nwolff

charles_leclerc: so am i allowed to be in his vision or will he destroy me on sight?? -> y/nwolff: you can be in his vision lmaoo -> charles_leclerc: really? -> lucawolff: don't listen to her, she's lying -> y/nwolff: go away luca! but just to be on the safe side charlie, you should probably be near me so that his (nonexistent) anger dies down -> charles_leclerc: this isn't boosting my confidence -> userone: charlie 🥺🥺

usertwo: this is the toto content we signed up for!

userthree: luca and y/n are the best siblings on this app, love them!!

userfour: bestie, when's the new music coming?? liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: we'll see 🤭

conangray: why is this the funniest thing i've ever seen?? liked by y/nwolff -> oliviarodrigo: it's true, he hasn't stopped laughing for twenty minutes

f1newsandmore

liked by userone, usertwo, userthree & others

f1newsandmore: Toto Wolff and Charles Leclerc spotted before the race. After the video of Toto reacting to his daughter, Y/N Wolff, dating Charles Leclerc, we're all dying to know just exactly what this conversation was about. tagged charles_leclerc, y/nwolff

userone: toto explaining to charles that he's not good enough for y/n while he's with ferrari -> usertwo: and charles zoning out the second he heard y/n's name liked by charles_leclerc

userthree: i'm so invested in this entire thing -> userfour: aren't we all??

y/nwolff

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, oliviarodrigo & others

y/nwolff: dad, i promise i'm still a mercedes girl 📷 : charles_leclerc 🤍

lucawolff: says she's a mercedes girl, tags a ferrari boy -> y/nwolff: if you took the pictures like i asked, you'd get the creds

charles_leclerc: the ferrari bracelet is saying otherwise -> y/nwolff: charles!! shh!! -> userone: LMAO! y/n's fighting for her life and charles out here exposing her

lewishamilton: mercedes >> ferrari -> y/nwolff: LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK!

landonorris: mclaren >>> -> y/nwolff: boo 👎👎

y/nisqueen: YOU LOOK STUNNING! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: mwah 🥰

y/nwolff has posted on their story!

caption: 🤍

charles_leclerc

liked by lucawolff, conangrey, pierregasly & others

charles_leclerc: date night! (with toto's approval) tagged y/nwolff

y/nwolff: can't believe you didn't post the vid of me throwing you in the water -> charles_leclerc: i need to at least try and look cool on social media love -> userone: no one cares if you look cool! we wanna see the vid! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: don't worry, i gotchu -> charles_leclerc: i'm concerned -> lucawolff: no one told you to vote yes when she asked if she should make a yt channel -> charles_leclerc: y/n literally told me to -> lucawolff: this is where being a simp gets you -> y/nwolff: get out of my bf's comments or i'll post the vids from your last bday party -> userone: I LOVE THIS!

lucawolff: is no one gonna ask for my approval??! -> y/nwolff: no -> lucawolff: rude -> charles_leclerc: you literally covered for us for months, the approval had been given -> lucawolff: oh yeah -> usertwo: lmaoo luca tryna start shit but it didn't work!

userthree: time to pack my bags and sleep on the highway

userfour: they're so cute!

userfive: god, when will it be my turn?? 😭😭

part one

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hazardparadox · 4 months

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Okay listen, I just need to talk rant about these two memes (pics?) That have been rotting in my camera roll for a sec because I'm bored and waiting for my flight

Found on pinterest in the deep dark corners (probably not. I just kept scrolling and found them)

For the first one OH MY FUCK I WAS DYING WHEN I FIRST SAW IT. I live for the Oscar and Carlos drama and it was by far my fave thing to come from the 2023 season (the landoscar podiums were great too I guess) I just think it's so funny with all the comparisons to carlando and landoscar

Pls I literally sent it to way too many people to the point where one of my friends blocked me

And it's also got baby Oscar who looks pretty much the same and showing more emotion than he ever has in f1 (jk) (sorta) and the whole expression is just so funny to look at AND JUST LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SMIRK!!!

But anyway all the Oscar/Carlos memes and things are the funniest shit ever I swearrrr and if anyone has more (vids or posts or anything) memes I'd love to see it

THE NICKNAME AND THE PRONOUNCIATION OF A NAME.

This is so special to me oh my god.

I don't even know why but something about this is so precious and the way that it's so perfect and accurate and ARGJHSHF I'm just a sucker for this kind of stuff and they're all so important to me omg

And the video of Max saying 'Charlie' 😭❤️ (but let's bfr he probably didn't say it. BUT I CAN STILL ACT LIKE ITS TRUE)

I swear I've seen a compilation of Lando saying 'Oscah' but I have no idea where or if it was just a figment of my imagination but it's just stupidly cute to me

Also I just love the pic of Lando and Max in general

Here's an extra for you if you read suffered through the whole rant

#sorry to everybody who read the whole thing #its just me ranting #Im so tired omfg #going home and finally finishing my fic today #landoscar #lestappen #lando and oscar #carlos sainz #carlos and oscar #charles leclerc #max verstappen #lando norris #oscar piastri #rant #can i even call this a rant

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iri-desky · 4 months

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(Ga Ming and) Chongyun (and Xingqiu)

By far the funniest thing Hoyoverse has ever done was invent a rival ship to one of the most undisputed ships in all of Genshin Impact, and then mildly redesign one of the characters in the former undisputed ship. Like "Is this your god now? Is he your god? Is he the second member of your ship now, Genshin Impact Fandom? Well here's a new funky little guy he has elemental and personality parallels and he is the biggest angel you've ever met. Choose now fandom. Choose who your son is now" I just KNOW they're purposefully creating drama now and it's the funniest shit I've ever seen

#meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #genshin impact #ga ming #genshin ga ming #genshin gaming #gaming genshin #ga ming genshin #chongyun #xingqiu

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achillean-knight · 8 months

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Woe, doodles be upon ye

HC's below the cut if you're absolutely interested in my Spiderverse Noir HC's + his world 👉👈

First the ones I agree with that I've seen a shit ton of people mention >:33

- He is a fatherly figure to Peni. I can imagine when they see each other again, she'd run to him and give him the biggest fucking hug ever. She experienced her Canon Event between ITSV and ATSV too, right? So I can see her needing comfort so badly, and the only ones she ever truly grew close to were Noir and Ham.

- He'd 10000/10 get along so well with Hobie. Along with Hobie legit mentioning his hatred for the AM, PM and fuckin NAZIS IN THE COMIC ,

he'd be rambling so much with Noir about common interests and get along so well with him. Imagine he badazzles him in punk attire and based on this image:

(I'll link where I found the image tomorrow when I'm on my laptop lol if I remember) but based on this image, he teaches Noir how to play the guitar and shit and OUYGG I WANNA SEE THEM INTERACT (they're my fave Spiderverse characters so 👉👈)

- OHOHOHO He loves the colour purple. So much. He can't see it, ofc but he has such a love for the colour that he sees any beautiful colour- or well, of what he can see of colours, and thinks every pretty colour is Purple.

- MJ see's Noir/Peter as a brother and he see's MJ as a sister in turn. There is no romantic attraction at all. Yeah, this means MJ see's Aunt May as a nice Aunt Figure she can go to and talk to about things.

Now onto some of my own headcanons- or some that I don't see mentioned a ton. These have probably been said before but oh well, these are just what I like and my brain go BRRR

- Felicia is taller then Noir. (For those unfamiliar, Felicia is a character from the comic.) Yes that'd probably make her freakishly tall based on how tall Noir is in the movie, but that comic panel of when he first meets her rots in my brain.

- Felicia still has her mask from her ordeals. However, unlike how she pushes away Peter, they actually become friends again. Comfort each other. They swore they'd never be in a relationship again.

- Noir is a combo of both his OG comics personality and 2020's comics personality. I see movie noir as anywhere between 19 - 21. He's learning and developing as a human still. He's calmer and kinder and resembles how his personality is in the newer comics, however, based on this deleted scene LOL, makes me think he looses his shit easily and goes actually feral.

(here's the link to where I found the video BC I actually saved the link lol yeah it's reblogged by yours truly, but the full post is there.)

- Oh yeah, Noir most definitely adopted Ding Ding btw. He probably is nearly at the newer comics stage of his life, being a private eye and such, drinking his fucking egg creams like newer comics noir SBSBBS So he found and adopted Ding Ding.

- Despite being young (19 - 21) he has serious eyebags man, dudes sleep deprived 😔 I'm also heavy on the Spiderverse portrait of him unmasked that I don't really draw/see him with facial scars but he could totally have them after the shit he went through 💀

- Noir is a part-time singer. I will not elaborate.

There's so many other things I wrote down that I want to share, but they're on my computer 😭 so you get these for now hhhh

Sorry if they're half-assed, it's 10:30 pm, I am tired

#spider noir #spiderman noir #peni parker #felicia hardy #ding ding #spiderman noir ding ding #marvel #doodles #headcanon #random thought...#hobie brown #rip hobie i forgot to include you up with the others #anyways yeah theres might be edits #my art #my spidernoir au art

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weepingpalaceathletelight-blog · 4 months

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There's a difference between shipping two characters and acknowledging the intense (usually gay) bond between characters. You guys get what I mean, right? Like I'm not just going insane?

Like a BSD example:

-I casually ship Louisa X Lucy because I feel like their dynamic could work in a romantic context and because I love it when girls are in love and they both deserve to be happy 🩷

-HOWEVER Chuuya and Dazai have an intense bond, they are one soul in two bodies, written and designed to compliment the other, Chuuya trusts Dazai with his life and vice versa, Dazai believed in Chuuya's humanity from the very beginning, their old and sorted dynamic, Chuuya being like the only one who understands Dazai's motives, and so, knowing all of this, I simply have no choice but to acknowledge their homosexuality because if I don't then I'm just being willfully ignorant

Or a MHA example:

-I somewhat ship Dabi x Hawks because it's hilarious whilst also having beautiful potential for angst

-BUT Bakugou and Midoriya quite simply just are gay as shit for each other and I have no choice but to accept it. Rivals constantly pushing the other, their complicated history and how they've both grown because of it, their understanding of the other, Bakugou basically trusting Midoriya with his fears and insecurities, Bakugou being the first to know about One for All, Kaachan Bakugou.

Or a MTP example:

-I guess you could say I ship Microsoft X Albert because I think it's sorta very funny and extremely plausible.

-MEANWHILE William and Sherlock are like the only person who understands each other and can keep up with them and Sherlock is diving off of buildings and cradling William's head as they fall (in love).

Or a JJK example:

-I kinda ship Maki X Nobara because I can and I want to and they could work

-ALTERNATIVELY Gojo and Geto where each others one and only best friend, best friend they ever had, knows his smell, his heart and soul know otherwise. They're just disgustingly in love and I hate it but there's nothing I can do about it except cry

Or a Haikyuu example:

-I do ship Hanamaki X Matsukawa because lord is it hilarious and the fanon presentation of a romantic relationship between them is always the funniest thing ever and the fics are so good

-YET Hinata and Kageyama are exactly what the other needed, Kageyama found his better half, their constant pushing of the other to do better, promises fulfilled and matches won, casual moments and casual touch. I did not choose to see them in a romantic light, they forced me to. I am a victim

Or a Merlin example:

-I dabble in shipping Percival X Gwaine purely because I can and no one is gonna stop me

-ALTHOUGH Merlin and Arthur are so gross and icky and care about each other so much and repeatedly risk their lives for the other and Arthur asked Merlin to hold him whilst he dies and Merlin spends forever waiting for Arthur's return. I just can't view them platonically or something after everything I've seen them do and I don't believe anyone who says that they truly don't seem them as romantic or at least something other than platonic or brotherly because how could you not??

Or a Doctor Who example:

-I could ship the Doctor X Jack because that's actually class

-UNFORTUNATELY that would be asking me to ignore the Doctor and Rose. He burned up a sun to say goodbye. He loved her. She loved him, was willing to never see her mother again if it meant she stayed with him. I'm sorry but cmonnnn

Nah but you get what I mean, right? Like I don't 'ship' these people, they're just IN LOVE and I hate them for it.

#shipping #thoughts #bkdk #bsd #skk #mha #mtp sherlock #sherliam #jjk #satosugu #haikyuu #kagehina #shobio #merlin #merthur #doctor who #rose tyler

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cambrioleur · 8 months

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Random observations on this season (updating)

(SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY)

Episode 1

I don't think we've ever seen Assane do a genuine fourth-wall break before

OK so Claire has a last name now

Assane really expected that he could just show up and Claire would just fall at his feet

I'm surprised Benjamin is just allowed to continue working at his shop

This feels better-edited than Parts 1 & 2

Name a more iconic duo than Belkacem and failing constantly (she really doesn't listen, does she)

Episode 2

Philippe Courbet sighting

NEVER invite Guédira to a funeral lmaooo

Hang on I'm just now realizing that Juliette is at this funeral, too (she's standing in the second row behind Benjamin and Claire and honestly doesn't seem too upset about Assane's "death")

I like how in the flashback Babakar tells Assane that he reminds him of his mother and then it turns out she was a criminal

This seems to be around the time of Raoul's birthday again; he really can't catch a break on that

Episode 3

New shipping war just dropped: Guédira/Belkacem vs Guédira/Fleur

That bit where Claire was outright begging Benjamin to tell her Assane was alive and he couldn't...that was sad

But then it was followed by Benjamin doing the "uhh my FRIEND just died" act with Belkacem which was funny

This gang of thugs is trying a little too hard tbh

Assane's disguise in this episode is fucking terrible lol

The basketball coach disguise, on the other hand, is the only time I've genuinely thought he wasn't recognizable

Episode 4

Ironically that coach persona is probably the best parenting Assane has ever done

Claire? Doing things that are vaguely cool?? That feels illegal. Also, she looked so proud of herself for swiping that book, lol

Betraying Benjamin was certainly...a choice on Assane's part ("everyone disliked that")

This episode is going to devastate the show's Tumblr fandom

Episode 5

Assane trolling the shit out of Guédira will never not be funny

These 1998 flashbacks are pretty dark actually

Honestly the way Claire got that reveal out of Benjamin was very well-played on her part

Guédira out here looking like present-day Ringo Starr with that disguise

Aww look at Assane playing the matchmaker for Guédira and Belkacem, heh heh

This is easily one of the funniest episodes

Except Benjamin is straight up not having a good time -- it looks like he got beaten up in prison

Episode 6

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not totally sure Benjamin knows that Assane betrayed him. It's possible he just thinks that he fucked up with the bracelet and then missed a cue in the maze

"Pasta with ketchup" jesus fucking christ Claire that sounds horrendous (although I'm guessing the only reason they did that was because of the ketchup-bottle reveal)

Assane really has Claire's number because he's now seduced her twice under two different identities

IDK whether or not Raoul has figured out that the coach is his dad but it's funny that he still seemed to be shipping it either way

It's nice that we get to see Claire's more playful side in this season, like her messing with Assane by acting really flirty with "Alex" after she realizes they're the same person

INCREDIBLE casting for the younger and older versions of Keller tbh; they easily look like they could be the same person

Episode 7

What a nice family reunion...it would be a shame if something happened to it...

The flashbacks are significantly darker than the present timeline this time around

Guédira finally got to arrest Assane, good for him!

The scene at the train station with the letter from Assane to Claire sort of reminds me of the ending to A Tale of Two Cities, which I had to read for AP prep a while back

Oh look, Hubert Pellegrini is back

So they're CLEARLY setting up another season with this ending

The choice of people to show on the montage there was interesting, lol

I could see a Juliette antagonist arc happening tbh

Maybe Assane's mom isn't all she seems either

And what about Benjamin? If he turns against Assane the viewers are going to lose their minds

#lupin netflix #assane diop #claire laurent #raoul diop #benjamin ferel #youssef guedira #sofia belkacem #philippe courbet #hubert pellegrini #juliette pellegrini

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tiktaalic · 8 months

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Just watched Social Network for the first time. I get it now. I understand why I've seen 2000+ Tumblr posts trying to capture the Experience of that film. I understand why I've alternately seen it hailed as a watershed cinema masterpiece that exposes silicon valley for the asshole boys club it is and also as a film that fundamentally misunderstands what it takes to succeed in silicon valley and also as the funniest fucking gay tragedy ever put to screen. And they're ALL correct. In the midst of this film about people who feel a vague twinge of human emotion once a year, Andrew Garfield bravely experiences Shakespearian earthquakes of the soul over *checks notes* Mark Zuckerberg. I laughed harder than I've laughed at a film in years. I was earnestly told by the images on my screen to feel sad for the silicon valley brain-geniuses because the poor dears lose all true human connection on account of their being the worst people you've ever heard of in response to the hardship of suffering nothing ever at all. Edwardo pulled that 'you love Gatsby because Nick loves him' shit so fucking hard that two or three times I was tricked into a glimpse of emotion about the curly-haired fucktwat on my screen before recalling that said fucktwat is *checks notes again* MARK. ZUCKERBERG. At which I'd feel like the butt of a cosmic joke but couldn't even be mad about it because it was in fact the funniest shit I'd ever experienced. After two hours of watching the most obnoxious piece of shit you've ever seen in your life the film pulls an honest-to-goodness 'he's not an asshole' about *checks notes again because surely that can't be right* WAR CRIMINAL MARK ZUCKERBERG. It is, and please know I say this without irony: a good film.

INTERESTING. I don’t think it tries to make you sympathize with mark at all. I thought it had a very…. Not as far as an anti zuck stance. But a mark zuckerberg sowing haha this rules mark zuckerberg reaping well this sucks. What the fuck. Stance. Very Pyrrhic victory rich asshole on rich asshole crime you won at what cost. Stance. Edwardo was in love with him though. I cannot dispute this. The only people who dredge any sympathy out of me are Rooney mara (mark zuckerberg’s ex) and Eduardo saverin (mark zuckerberg’s ex) because Rooney mara voice I was nice to you mark don’t torture me for it. And then he did. I really am well and truly shocked that nobody got sued over that movie. Becuase mark Zuckerberg sucjs so bad in there. BEAUTIFUL flick though. I’ve seen it several times. Incredible soundtrack. I never get tired of watching the drift apart build into an explosion which culminates in mark sitting in an empty room alone with a computer comma hated. Like I watch the social network and I’m like oh it’s about the social media company they made up for their movie. With character types that are meant to round out a cast and plot rather than reflect any real world people. I love it I’ve watched it 3 times this year. My cocomelon

#anonymous #ask #tsn

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empressofmankind · 5 months

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BEGGARS SHAN'T BE CHOOSERS - Part I

[Crocodile x F!OC]

SFW

(A/N) Better known as the 'Impel Down' fic, I kept mentioning the past two weeks. This is Part One. Of five? Of ten? I've given up. The total draft was > 12k. So, I split it in 3x 4k. And then, I noticed today the 'first part' had grown to >7k. So, I've split it again. I have a clear end in mind, but how long it'll take me to get there...

Originally, this fic was meant to focus around Buggy, but then a 2.53m unit of absolute bullshit got in the way. Shivs and her world class plans, good gods. Post-Alabaste, the mens are stuck in Impel Down. Shivs is dead set on springing the clown from prison. However, she'll first need to figure out where they're keeping him. On account of his devil fruit powers, she suspects level 6. And she has an excellent alibi to demand visitation to level 6. For once, the legal quagmire of technically still being married to Crocodile is going to work for her. Right? RIGHT??

In this first part, we'll join Shivs and Benji (and Mani!) as they get ready to, and make their way for, Impel Down. That's it, that's all that happens, and it took me near 4k. I am so long-winded. It's a terminal condition, I know.

Tag(s): Considering this is the entré, there isn't actually much to tag for? There's fluff and humour. There's a 10-year-old running around saying the absolute funniest shit as things go straight over her head. We got Mani the scaly golden retriever Bananawani along? Oh, and one (1) good marine.

🐊 🐊 🐊

Beggars Shan't Be Choosers - Part I

“They're stupid clothes,” Benji said, her brow wrinkling with petulant annoyance. She was wearing a crispy white dress shirt, a green-on-ochre striped vest and grey slacks. She'd refused a dress of any sort. Her flame orange hair was neatly brushed and her small face wasn't covered in grease paint for once.

“I think you look handsome,” Shivs said as she pinned her own red hair up with a two-pronged kanzashi fashioned with golden lotuses whose inlaid blue diamonds had not seen the light of day in years.

“I look stupid.”

“Look. I am not comfortable in my clothes either,” Shivs said and indicated the mid-thigh sheath dress of black lace on dark grey broadcloth she wore. She'd decided on sheer stockings to go with it, but no gloves.

“You look pretty in them.”

Shivs turned back to the mirror to finish pinning her hair and adjusting her bangs to fall neatly from under the strings of her eyepatch. “That is the idea, yes.”

Benji put her hands in her pockets, kicking her foot, making squeaky noises against the deck boards. “What am I supposed to look like? I don't want to be pretty.”

“You are supposed to look like the most capable and well-behaved child to ever grace the Blue.” Shivs pinched her cheek, gilt bangles jangling. “And you do when you don't stand with your hands wearing out your pockets like that.”

Benji took her hands out of her pockets. They idled a moment, undecided, but then she clasped them behind her back. “Your neck looks naked.”

Shivs laughed at that because the bateau neckline of the dress could certainly use something. “Yours too.”

She plucked one of Buggy's patterned neck scarves from a drawer and tied it around her daughter's neck, tucking the ends into the vest. “There.”

“You should wear a pretty necklace,” Benji said, though her eyes were on the scarf. She seemed to like that, at least.

Shivs didn't have all that many necklaces conventionally considered ‘nice’. Going through the few she had in her thoughts, she picked up her modest jewellery box. Then paused as her gaze lingered on the bottom drawer of her vanity. Maybe she should… She pulled the drawer open and reached among clothes she rarely wore, patting around until she found the old music box.

Its silver had blackened with age and negligence, but even so, its delicate engravings of waves and tall ships were fine. If she polished it now, the oxidation remaining in the fine creases would help pick out its details better than ever before. She didn’t, of course. And she didn’t open the lid either. She couldn’t remember if it was wound up, and didn’t want to hear its melody if it was.

Instead, she held it with both hands and turned its engraved body as if removing a lid from a jar. With a click, the top section came off. Within the tiny compartment revealed lay a small, gold hoop with a bent hinge. She’d long since let the earlobe puncture it used to occupy close. Taking a thin string from her jewellery box, she suspended it from that instead.

“Like so?” Shivs asked, drawing Benji’s attention as she fastened it around her neck.

“Don’t you have anything sparklier, like your hair thing?”

Shivs brushed the kanzashi. Though the era of having such things aplenty was long behind her, she was loath to detract from the last one that remained to her with lesser gems. Besides, he’d notice.

“Sadly, no.”

“Oh?” Benji gave her the thumbs up. “Gold is pretty too, I guess!”

Part of the reason she’d picked it was that it was 24-carat gold. Just like the kanzashi.

“Can I do your makeup?”

“Only if you do not turn me into a clown,” Shivs said as she sat down at her vanity so the girl could reach her face. Benji grinned and set to work.

When Benji declared she was done, Shivs turned to the mirror and had to admit the little girl was now officially better at this than her. She’d gone for a dark burgundy smokey eye with a flawlessly thin line of gold right at the root of her eyelashes and a touch of white on the waterline. It made the hazel of her good eye pop like nobody’s business. She was pretty sure the dark red lipstick was Buggy’s favourite to use himself.

“I like it,” Shivs said and Benji beamed. “Now, I just need shoes.”

“I'll fetch some!”

Benji was up and running out of the cabin before Shivs could protest. It was only a few minutes before the girl returned, clutching shoes in her arms. And not just any shoes, either. She held up gold-tinted, faux leather gladiator sandals with six-inch stiletto heels that would be a trick and a half to walk on. Where had she even found those?

“These will look awesome with your hair thing and necklace!”

She didn’t disagree as she put them on, but hoped the floors of Impel Down would be neatly packed concrete and nothing else. She hadn’t walked on heels like these in half a decade. Throwing a long bridge coat the rosy beige of dunes about her shoulders, she turned to the floor-length mirror.

Benji looked her up and down with the pinched expression of a critical, pint-sized costume designer grading their latest creation. “You look very pretty.”

Benji wasn’t wrong. She did look nice. Her mood sank, settling like an anchor in the pit of her stomach. She looked like his wife.

“Why is it OK to lie today?”

“It's not a lie.” Shivs shook the morose feeling and picked up her small black bag, its gilded chain rattling as she double checked its content. “More like, hm.”

“Make believe?”

“Yes. Yes, I suppose it is,” Shivs said as she snapped the bag closed and hung it from her shoulder. “It will be easier to convince them to let us visit if we look the way they’d expect.”

“Why would they let us visit uncle Crocodile? Aren’t those visits for, like, if you’re his mom or sister or baby or something?” Benji’s small face was filled with healthy scepticism, hands in her pockets once again. “We should pretend he’s my dad.”

Shivs flinched and struggled to keep her smile from faltering. “Well, only if we have to.”

“They’d have to be pretty bad people to stop a kid from visiting their father.” Benji took her hand. “I hope uncle Crocodile knows where dad is.”

“I am sure he knows.” Shivs gave Benji’s hand a squeeze. She’d no idea how she’d find out where Buggy was if Crocodile didn’t know. She couldn’t exactly demand that information on legal grounds like she had done with him. “Is Mani ready, too?”

“Yes! I scrubbed her squeaky clean and even picked her teeth and scales. She’s eaten and done a big poop.” Shivs tried to let the girl’s bubbly chatter lift her spirits. “I borrowed one of Richie’s sparkly collars and she looks flashy in it!”

“Sparkly? That sounds amazing.”

“It is! She likes sparkly things.”

“Let’s fetch her then and go before we are too late.”

Benji glanced up at her as they left the cabin. “How can we be late for an appointment we didn’t make?”

“We can be late for the only ship going there today.”

🐊 🐊 🐊

Benji had wanted to stand upon the prow as the government ship approached the Gate of Justice out of Enbies Lobby, because the skipper had said the Tarai current that would see them to Impel Down was chock full of sea kings. Shivs sat on a deck chair with a glass of wine, watching the girl run back and forth with binoculars she’d weedled from a matelot. On account of the seastone laminated hull, she doubted they would see any. However, there was no need to dunk on her chipper mood.

They were not the only visitors, more had trickled aboard to form a modest but motley company on the deck. She’d caught snippets of conversations as they walked by: a mother visiting her son; a brother, his sister. And she had a good guess what some of them were whispering about as they stole glances her way. She’d neglected to list any details regarding who they’d be visiting, but, in hindsight, she supposed the pony-sized bananawani lounging beside her gave it away.

She’d tied Mani’s rhinestone-infested lilac leash to her chair leg, to discourage the reptile from wandering or - worse - deciding to take a swim. Not that she had any illusion as to its ability to pull the chair straight from under her if it wanted to go. But Mani was a creature of habit and minimal effort. A minor inconvenience such as this would be enough to keep her snoozing on the deck.

“Spotted any big ones?” Shivs said when Benji came towards her for a sip of lychee ramune.

“Not yet.” Benji plopped down beside Mani, putting her skinny arm around her scaly neck as she slurped lemonade. “Did you know bananawani hunt sea kings?”

“Really?”

Shivs remembered the way the casino halls would darken as they swam by, their shadows passing beyond the glass as they glided towards the feeding platform. The unwitting sea king never stood a chance.

“They are their only known predator and totally hunt them,” Benji babbled happily while enjoying her drink. Mani’s eyes were still closed, but she’d shifted to lean into the little girl’s petting. “Do you think sea king tastes good?”

The water would run red but only for a short while, only until the currents whisked it away. Theoretically, the creature could make it out for the Rainbase oasis connected to the Sandora river.

“I bet Mani would prefer sea king chow,” Shivs said.

“I don't think they sell that at the pet stores.” Benji pouted as she hugged Mani. “She won’t be able to have a sea king snack until she’s big enough to hunt them herself.”

Hopefully, that would take a while yet. Bananawani could grow to colossal sizes, dwarfing mid-class tall ships. Shivs had no idea what they were supposed to do with a fully grown one. Or how to afford feeding the beast if there was no prey for her to hunt on her own. Rain Dinners’ bananawani never hunted alone.

Benji emptied her bottle with a big, noisy slurp, waking Mani. “Maybe we should have brought something?”

“A deck would have been nice,” Shivs said as she watched them. “We could have played slapjack.”

“No, I mean, for uncle Crocodile?”

Shivs flinched.

“You always say that it is nice to bring something when you visit someone. Especially if you want something from them in turn?” Benji scrunched up her face, rubbing Mani’s thick scaly neck. “I have, like, half a bag of marshmallows, but I didn’t think to bring them.”

“I have something for him, don’t worry about it.”

🐊 🐊 🐊

Impel Down was a fortress as ugly as it was unimaginative. It spilled onto the rapidly approaching horizon as a grey stain overtaking the limitless freedom of the open sea. And as they drew near on the Tarai current, its squat towers and crenellated battlements came into ever sharper focus until they dominated their entire surroundings. Curiously, there were no cannon embrasures, machicolations or any such defences one might expect from a proper bastion.

A fleet of warships rested at anchor along the approach to the underwater prison. The modest passenger ship they were on was dwarfed by the marine dreadnoughts they passed as the current pulled them inexorably towards the prison’s colossal gatehouse.

Benji had returned to the prow for the approach, and Shivs joined her there.

“It’s so huge!” Benji stared wide-eyed at the thick walls as they sailed under the barbican and into the secured harbour proper beyond. Mani sat beside her, holding her own leash.

“The vast majority of the complex is actually underwater.” Shivs counted the cannons peeking down at them through the embrasures, out of habit more than anything. She wondered if they had a standing firing crew to man them.

“Are we going underwater?” Benji hopped from one leg unto the other. “The Calm Belts are supposed to be full of Sea Kings! Maybe there will be a window, and I can see one? Maybe there will be wild Bananawani too!”

“It is a prison, so I don’t think there will be windows,” Shivs said in an attempt to calm the girl’s excitement and avoid utter disappointment if that turned out to be true. “It does reach quite a ways below the water surface. A few kilometres, perhaps? Yes, I think so.”

“Wow.” Turning to Mani, Benji added: “Let's find a window, I bet there will be wild Bananawani! You can say ‘hi’!”

Shivs took her by the shoulder when she saw the other visitors disembark. “Come, let’s not be late.”

Benji glanced up at her as they walked to the gangplank. “For the visit we didn-?”

“Don’t say that,” Shivs interrupted her with a quelling look.

“Right.” Benji smiled again and took Mani’s leash. “Come on Mani. Can’t be late!”

They were funnelled through the gatehouse and into a courtyard patrolled by marine sentries. Here, too, cannons peered through embrasures on all sides. Evidently, the prison was more concerned about threats to its security rising from within than without.

“Visitors for level 1 and 2 inmates, that way,” a young marine officer said as he gestured to a colleague. “Level 3 and up, with me.” The few people that joined them as they went to the marine officer gave the juvenile Bananawani plodding beside them a wide breadth.

The officer led them up steps and into an wholly uninviting lobby. With its worn plaster walls and dirty grey linoleum floor it did its very best to make you want to leave as soon as possible. No seats, no plants, no windows, no nothing.

“Registration check.” The marine officer motioned them towards the looming concrete counter on the other side of the unpleasant space. “In an orderly manner, gentlefolk.”

Benji put her arm around Mani, leaning into the large reptile and putting her nose against its scales as she eyed their casually hostile surroundings.

“What’s his name?” The marine officer’s tone was amiable, conversational.

“Hers!” Benji said, holding on tighter to the Bananawani.

He tried to catch her gaze with a smile. “Big girls, both of you.”

“Her name is Mani.”

“Ah, ‘she who averts harm’,” he said, and Shivs appreciated his attempts to make Benji feel comfortable. “A wise choice for such a hardy animal.”

“She’s very sweet and tough,” Benji agreed as she snuggled Mani. “I love her.”

“I am sure she loves you very much too.”

“What is your name?” Benji asked. “Mine is Benji!”

“Nice to meet you, Benji,” the young marine said. “Mine is Toby.”

By then it was their turn, and Shivs approached the desk. It was higher than such things normally were, for she was not a particularly short woman and yet she need not bend down to meet the registrar’s gaze.

“State your name and purpose?” the woman said, hands poised to take down the information.

“Figarland Seonaid. Conjugal visit,” Then added when she saw her transcribe it as ‘Sheona’: “That is without the H, and spelled with N-A-I-D.”

The registrar gave a sign of neither interest nor recognition. “Visiting?”

“Crocodile Niall.”

The woman paused when she heard that name. And Shivs ignored the whispers she could not quite catch from those behind her in line.

“Niall. N-I-A-L-L. Not ‘Nile’.”

The registrar flipped through a thick binder, finger running down a table packed with dense handwriting. “No visitation registered.”

“Preposterous,” Shivs said, overacting an affronted tone. “A signed request for visitation has been approved weeks ago.”

“There is no record of it, ma'am.”

Benji let go of Mani to fling her arms around Shivs’ waist instead, and gave the registrar and marine officer her most watery of wobbly baby looks. “Mommy, I want to see daddy!”

Shivs rubbed her shoulder, giving the registrar the pleading look of parents the world across trying to desperately manage a child on the brink of wailing. Benji's little sob into the fabric of her dress was very convincing. Mani paced around them, uncertain but riled by the sudden change of mood.

“Can't you put in an expedited request?” Shivs suggested, trying her damndest to sound sincere. “She'd been looking forward to it, and we get so few chances.”

“No registration, no visitation,” the woman said as Benji took in a breath to start a wail.

Toby shook his head. “Let me see what I can do,” he said as he produced a small, earpiece Den Den Mushi and put the sea snail against his ear. A few transmissions later, he turned to the registrar and held up his hand. “Two visitor badges, please.”

With due reluctance the registrar handed them over to him and he turned to Benji. “There you go, kiddo,” he said as he gave her one, and then Shivs as well. “Courtesy of the vice-admiral making the curator see reason.”

“You're the best!” Benji beamed. “Look, mom, I am number 17! What is yours?”

Shivs looked at the scuffed 13 on the badge. It reminded her of a poker table she used to deal at, and the memory settled in the pit of her stomach like a fetch of cannon balls. “Not as high as yours, sweetie.”

“Come, I will see you two down to the right level,” Toby said, and led them to the elevator room beyond the lobby. There were four, two on the left and two on the right. He took them to the far right one, the doors opening as they approached.

“Awesome!” Benji said as she rushed inside, Mani hot on her heels. For the elevator was made entirely of armoured glass and provided a grand view of the ocean sprawling all the way across the horizon. The afternoon sun kissed the waves, setting sparkles to the white-capped water. And Shivs felt it beckon in her bones.

Benji gave him a hopeful look. “Are we going underwater?”

“We are,” Toby said as he put a key in the control panel and turned it.

When the doors slid closed, Shivs suppressed the sudden and overwhelming urge to get out, to leave and never look back. To stay at the surface, where they belonged. I have to, she told herself as she clenched her hands into fists around the chain of her handbag. Bugs is down there, and he hates the dark beneath the waves.

The elevator jolted to life and Shivs closed her eyes, ignoring the sound of the lapping waves against the glass as they submerged, focussing on Benji’s excited noises instead. When she opened them again, they were enveloped in blue. Sunlight still penetrated, sending curtains of light through the water. Less so with every foot they descended, as the blue grew deeper, darker.

“A Sea King!” Benji screamed, spooking Mani as she glued herself against the glass. In the far distance, blurred in the shifting hues of the blue, swam a long, serpentine creature, its body undulating as it made its way from somewhere to elsewhere.

“It could be the Prince of the Deep,” Toby said as he came to stand beside her. “It has about the right shape. Colour too, perhaps.”

Benji glanced at him, her eyes large and eager. “Prince?”

“Yes, because he is a prince among his kind. The largest Sea King in this part of the Calm Belt,” Toby said. “Ten times larger than Coral Grove, our largest dreadnought.”

“Wow.” Benji pressed her face against the glass. “Mani could snack on that for years.”

“Wouldn’t it be tough for her to hunt such a large creature?” Toby said, not without humour.

Benji rolled her eyes. “Not right now, she’s a baby. But she’ll be big and strong one day! Bananawani hunt Sea Kings, did you know?” she said and babbled the poor marine’s ears off about the large reptiles for some minutes.

As the armoured glass elevator descended to deeper water, their surroundings became steadily darker. Shivs put her gaze on the glass floor and the pitch black abyss below. It was easier to face the darkness approaching than the light receding, the sparkle of the sun on the water surface dwindling as you sank. The sea has never been friendly to man.

Beside her, Benji had put her arm around Mani as she looked up. No more sea kings down here.

“The 6th level is also called ‘The Basement’,” Toby said, making the girl glance away from the ever more distant sunlight. “Do you know why?”

Ghosts in the attic and monsters in the basement, Shivs thought as she recalled the sailors’ idiom about grief with its haunting memories and stowed feelings.

Benji eyed him, holding on to Mani still. “Because it's dark and far down?”

Because nobody goes there if they can help it. Shivs stared at the watery dark beneath their feet. The sea floor might never come and she'd not be surprised.

“Nope!” Toby said, his smile bright in the dimming light. “Because it is where all the cool people stay.”

Benji’s mood lit up. “My unc- Dad, is super cool! He's actually made out of sand, like, for real.”

“Are you made out of sand?”

Shivs gaze snapped onto him like a hawk. He was looking at Benji, fondness soft on his youthful face. He couldn't be much older than 20 or 22.

“I don't think so?” Benji let go of Mani to brush at her clothes, then glanced at him. “Do you want to pet her?”

Toby smiled. “Absolutely.”

🐊 🐊 🐊

Horny hell seat reservations - @tiredemomama @smut-goblin @ruledbyproblematique @momodwriter @littlemountainwolf @fanaticsnail @feral-artistry - except there's no horny. Croc isn't even in it either. I feel like a cheat.

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sirenium · 10 months

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If you ever feel invalidated by an exclusionist, please remember this post because I can assure you they don't know what they're talking about💀

⚠️trigger warning for of course exclusionist dumbassery, also this gets rant-y⚠️

I swear exclusionists have the most incoherent thought processes known to man dude cuz what is this shit

[ID: purple header text reading he/him lesboy flag/ hesboy flag! Under this text is plain black text reading based on these two flags: •reclaimed lesboy •he/him lesbian. Under this, red, bold text reads DNI, followed by rad inclus, terfs/transmeds, anti he/him lesbians & she/her gays, male/men "lesbians" in black plain text. End ID]

'Lesboy flag' and 'no man lesbians' in the same post... my brain is melting. Also... these people 'reclaimed' the term lesboy? Just to exclude a group of people who are lesboys? You do know that lesbians who also consider themselves men are also included in the lesboy term? Apparently not to these people. Butches who also consider themselves men? Sorry, not lesbians anymore. Multigender man lesbians? Nah sorry you're men so you can't be lesbians./sarc

[ID: blue header text reading Demiboy lesbian flag! Beneath this, quote text (at least I think that's what it's called) reads I couldn't decide on which ones to choose, so I'm posting all of them! Beneath this, much like the previous image, OP starts off their DNI with a bold red DNI, followed by black plain text. This text reads mspec "lesbians", radinclus, terfs/transmeds, radfems, men/male "lesbians", anti he/him lesbians and she/her gays. End ID]

Is that,, not excluding demiboy lesbians? Oh my bad, it's fine cuz they're only 'partially male' and therefore aren't ACTUALLY icky men invading lesbian spaces!/sarc

Also can I just say how fucking entitled it is to be all like 'mspec "lesbians"' with the quotes and shit? Like oh my god get over yourself, you aren't the leader of the lesbians™️ [trademark]. Bro thinks they're part of the lesbian council or some shit. 💀

Besides that, this has got to be one of the funniest examples of exclusionist stupidity I've ever seen. I can't get over it bro: 'demiboy lesbian flag!' 'Fuck off icky man lesbians!' In the SAME. POST. BAHAHA–

-----

It's rare that I feel the need to take screenshots and talk about them on my blog, but these are so poetically idiotic that I had to make a whole post dedicated to them. So yeah, sorry about your braincells lmao. But just know you're valid regardless of how you identify as a lesbian, and these are the types of people who think otherwise. Needless to say, they aren't really that credible.

[ID: a DNI banner with a purple background with lighter purple text reading DNI: system/queer exlusionists, TERFs/SWERFs, truscum/transmeds, anti recovery for harmful paraphilia, anti otherkin, anti self dx, pro cringe culture, pro-lifers, anti xenogender. A more detailed DNI is in my pinned post. A transparent png of Shadow The Hedgehog can be seen on the right, beside the text. He's holding his hand to his chest, his body facing the text and his eyes looking off to the distance. End ID]

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xjustonemoremiraclex · 9 months

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rwrb thoughts from someone who hasn't read the book (yet)

The good/general thoughts:

pleasantly surprised by the acting! which I know sounds mean, but listen, I saw these guys in other things and I wasn't suuuper into them, so it was a nice surprise lol

THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE TWO again, pleasantly surprised by that lol they played off each other SO well

10/10 soundtrack, it definitely took inspiration from older rom-coms and I loved it <3

PS I really liked all the side characters! I wish we'd gotten to spend a little more time with some of them, but everyone was pretty great <3 also, all the women were awesome, and I am very gay and very in love <3

Ok, I really, REALLY liked how they showed the two of them texting each other, and the whole editing around it. It was pretty cute

I was living for all the latine songs at the new year's party, that was a nice touch

ok, when everyone was getting down at the party and alex and henry stayed up and stared at each other and time slowed down, I know it was supposed to be romantic, but I have to say it: it was also the funniest shit I've ever seen lol

henry at the party is giving both 'i have social anxiety and my only friend here is a social butterfly and keeps leaving to be with other people send help' and 'i thought you invited me here as a first date kind of thing but you're dancing and making out with other people and i'm feeling so betrayed rn :('

'christ you're as thick as it gets *kiss*' LMAO

Listen, I'm not usually into rom-coms (I say, like a liar), but I was pretty happy with the writing, in general. I laughed at all the funny parts, got emotional over all the dramatic ones and swooned at the romance bits. Great job, everyone

'I just can't afford for you to fall in love with me' LMAO babe, we're WAY past that. On both sides

ok, full disclosure: I don't really like sex scenes all that much (there's nothing wrong with them, I'm just very ace lol), so I usually just use my phone while they're happening, and while I did that a little bit here too, I was still paying attention, and honestly, they were pretty sweet. They did a good job. And, like, I have no idea why the film was R-rated lol you literally don't see anything

again, love the little montages that show the passing of time, while also showing they're keeping in touch and getting to know each other better and stuff. It makes the relationship between the two and the way it's developing feel a bit less rushed, which is nice

ZAHRA MY MOST BELOVED

YES PLEASE I WANT TO SEE THAT POWERPOINT PRESENTATION THANK YOU

KARAOKEEEE

alex giving an impassioned romantic speech to henry, about to confess his love: // henry:

'I didn't want to break his heart' - oh, honey, you already did :(

'to tell you that I love you, knowing that you wouldn't say it back' brb sobbing

NOT CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE 😭😭😭

'because when they write the history of my life, I want it to include you and my love for you' help i'm dying 😭😭😭😭😭😭

MIGUEL DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW IT WAS YOU please die in a fire <3

alex's speech was really good by the way 🥺

LOVESICK HOMOSEXUALS LMAO ZAHRA MY BELOVED

'baby' screaming crying throwing up jgdkfk

I FORGOT THE KING WAS STEPHEN FRY why is this so funny to me

SEQUEL WHEN

The... less good?/general questions:

Kinda wish there'd been a bit more enemies in my enemies-to-lovers film

'he just grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and footbal'' - please, I beg you, someone smarter than me - what the fuck does this mean 😭 ppl are LIVING for this quote and I'm like ??????

this is probably me being stupid and ignorant lol but why would alex's relationship cost his mum the election? like, from what I've seen, her government has been very pro-queer, that's not really a secret, so her son being queer and in a relationship with a man shouldn't lose her any voters..? the people who are against 'the queers' were not going to vote for her in the first place, soooo..? me is confused

honestly, this is probably an unpopular opinion, but... the king was not that bad? like, i'm not saying he's not kind of homphobic and kind of a dick lol but i get the impression that everything stems from the whole thing about sticking to tradition and public image and bla bla. Like, again, obviously, part of that involves homophobia, but I think that on a personal level, he... doesn't really care? Even at the end, he's like 'ok, are you absolutely sure about this, cause there's no going back. Yes? Really? Well, go off I guess *long-suffering sigh*'. Like, I got way more homophobic vibes from phillip than the king idk 🤷‍♀️ (I really hope I don't have to clarify that this only applies to the film, and not like, the real life crown lol)

Sooo, as I said, I haven't read the book yet, but I've seen some posts about it, and I think after watching the film I've realized that it's biggest flaw is that it's that - a film. It's a great film, don't get me wrong! And it's pretty obvious I really liked it. But damn, I'm a firm believer that book adaptations only work as series. They don't have to be super long or anything, but there is just no way to fit everything in a book in a two hour film. And yeah, when you're adapting something you have to make some changes, but Idk, it's kind of a shame that you lose so much (and even without reading the book, I can tell there's a lot of stuff missing). In any case, I can't talk too much about it until I read the book, but yeah 🤷‍♀️ It does seem like they did a good job, though - like, it genuinely can stand on its own really well, but I guess I'll have to find out for myself

Also, tagging @silassstingy bc I promised her my thoughts on the film and she might give me some interesting insights on some of the stuff I mentioned, cause she's a queen like that <3

#rwrb #all in all I give it like a 9.5/10 #I'm docking half a point bc it made me cry multiple times which was VERY rude(?)

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ask-the-royal-absol · 11 months

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Destino: Let's begin, peasants!

@ask-guardian-gallade

*Destino takes one look at Romeo and makes a disgusted face.*

Oh great. The walking stick over here decided to make an appearance. Your face reminds me of something. A Stunky's backside. Nobody wants to see it but it keep rearing it anyway. And you lost your arm too? How did that happen? Wait, let me guess. Your battling skills were so bad that you lost it to the first Pokémon you saw? I wouldn't be surprised if you lost it to a Sunkern. I've heard how pathetic they are. Perhaps you're a Sunkern in disguise, considering how weak you look. I could probably knock you over with a single breath. Snap you like a twig too. You should probably be more careful around other Pokémon. I wouldn't want you to loose your other arm because they gently bumped into you.

@spikyegg

*Destino laughs as soon as they see Derek.* You think that ensemble looks good on you? Haha! That's probably the funniest thing I've seen all day. You look like if a Trubbish decided to take a shit and proudly display it on themselves. And that head piece? That's probably the most flattering part about you. Then again, you're not anything special to look at. Main character? Of what novel? Because I doubt anyone would want to read a book with you as the protagonist. I think you probably misunderstood your role. You're one of those character who would appear for a second and get easily forgotten because of how little impact you more than likely have in this world.

@team-pokefriends

*Destino looks at Sophie, shit-eating grin on their face.* You know, I love it when other Pokémon create impossible dreams for themselves. Like you. Dreaming of being cool looking like that? How truly inspiring. The cape certainly doesn't help. Did you really think putting that ridiculous cloth on you would suddenly make everyone think you're cool? Perhaps you should change your dream to being the world's most deluded Slowking. At least that's achievable. And you're one of two leaders of a Pokémon team? However did your team mate allow that to happen? I mean, sorry to say this but it's clearly some elaborate prank they thought of to make you look stupid. I doubt I'd ever want you to lead a team if I made one. That's sending so many red flags. I'm surprised you haven't failed miserably yet.

@nobetternamethanthat2

*Looks towards Daniel, feigning surprise * Wow. I'm speechless. I truly am. I didn't think I'd find someone so ugly but here we are. I should give you a medal for going around looking like that. And the outfit too? Oh man, I feel sorry for anyone who decides to hang around with you. Then again, I imagine they're doing it for pity. And come on. At least style your hair a bit. Put a bit of effort into your appearance. I know not everyone can look as magnificent as me but at least try to have some dignity. I would offer to make you at least look somewhat decent but I doubt even my skills could help out in that department. How could you ever make yourself look presentable when each mirror you come across cracks at the sight of you?

@neverlandfaerai

*Destino looks at Agatha with a mock surprised face* The god of creation decided to make you look like that? I wouldn't be surprised if you were one of the idea they threw away and ended up accidently being created. I imagine they regretted that decision. I mean, who would even care for a decrepit creature like you? Do you even have any friends? Family? I highly doubt it. Why would anyone want to be around some washed up old crone? And please don't speak. It makes it much easier to maintain my illusions of your intelligence that way.

@ask-suicune

*Destino takes one glance at Zantzu and smugly smiles.* Well well well. If it isn't the water type who decided a scarf would be a good thing to wear. Perhaps you should get a bigger scarf to cover more of yourself up. And what is up with those ribbons? Born with ribbons coming out of your ass? Damn, I almost feel sorry about how ridiculous you look with those. And that hair. Purple. Did you dye it that colour to make yourself look a shred bit presentable? No? You were born with it? What a disaster for you. I'm surprised you wake up everyday telling yourself you look ok. Your scent is also incredibly interesting too. Did you attack a Stunky or did one just sneeze on you? I thought water types were supposed to be clean but the whiff I got of your stench makes me doubt what I've heard.

@askpokemoncrossover

Sai. You know, you amaze me. Being some mad scientist's fucked up creation must be so hard for you. That's not the case? How on earth would you explain your looks? I have the belief that every Pokémon can be strong. Looking at you though, I can see I was wrong. Those noodly arms would barely be able to get a single hit on an opponent. I guarantee that if I used my weakest attack on you, you'd flop to the ground in an instant.

And I doubt anyone would come running over to aid you. You look like the type of Pokémon not even a mother could love. Does anyone love you? If you said yes, that'd be the funniest thing I'd have heard in a long time.

@ask-lu-two-and-mew

Now, help me out Lucario because I'm really struggling to understand how you could ever think that face mask could work. That's natural? What an absolute shame that is. Perhaps you should cover up. At least then your friends wouldn't be embarrassed being around you. And a fighting type too? I thought fighting types were supposed to be these strong looking Pokémon that could hold their own against any opponent. I doubt you could even put a dent in a geodude. I imagine everyone else probably fights your battles as they would see how pathetic your attempt at fighting was and take pity on you.

Destino: Don't worry, I'll come at the rest of you later. I know you all crave my attention. I understand. Who wouldn't?

#destino's roasting session #destino you're gonna get your ass kicked with some of these #sorry no art #i did not anticipate how many of you would want to be roasted #gonna be honest i kinda felt overwhelmed by the amount of people wanting to be roasted lol #i know i said i would do art #sorry

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chickenwaffles17 · 3 months

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rewatched Megamind just now because my dad got his hands on a HD copy after many years and uhh yeah it's the best movie ever made. (FYI I've been watching an SD cropped .avi for my whole life so seeing it in such High Definition™ was eye-opening)

(also if you plan to read this whole thing sorry for the quality of the photos these are all taken from my phone because I have Megamind just. In my album)

These people can be seen after Minion speeds away in the invisible car (hitting some guy in the process) and they're like, trying to figure out why they feel like they got hit by a mfing car it's so cool

There's a Raiders of the Lost Arc reference that my dad pointed out? That's cool

Where tf was Hal planning to store that "bouncy house he rented" when his apartment is like twelve square feet

Also the Roxanne "Good night Hal" poster totally caught me off guard even though I knew it was there lmao

LOOK AT HOW ROXANNE AND MEGAMIND/BERNARD LOOK AT EACH OTHER THEY'RE SO IN LOVE

BROKEN MIRROR IMAGERY

Hal wearing a mask when we first see him, when he's acting all "heroic" and shit, and then tossing the mask away just as he gets rejected, and then not wearing the mask for the rest of the movie because THAT'S HIS TRUE SELF?! THE THEMES OF LOOKING PAST THE INITIAL ASSUMPTIONS YOU MAKE WHEN YOU MEET A PERSON AND SELF IDENTITY IN THIS MOVIE MAKE ME GO FERAL

The scene in the rain is so beautifully animated and scored it makes me want to cry 😭

I never noticed this but Megamind reverting back to his old habits and "evil" ways after Roxanne finds out he'd been lying to her is just chef's kiss 💋 Like, he had such fun back then being thwarted by Metro Man, and then he starts growing as a person when he hangs out with Roxanne, like when he restores the paintings to the museum or cleans up the park he doesn't take credit for it or anything, he just wants to see her happy

And then she dumps him and he tries to get over it by being "himself" again

Titan rising from fire imagery? Okay I see you movie (I'm literally holding myself back from screaming because you're so amazing)

Also the way that Megamind gets so tense and frightened when Titan actually threatens to kill him? Because Metro Man would just give him to the police (acab) because it's not in his morals to kill someone

Metro Man walking on water and having his feet kissed imagery, also obviously being modelled after Elvis Presley who people worship like a god 10/10

Markiplier looking down for a moment and legitimately contemplating his question "Who would I be without you?" Because he's having a kind of identity crisis, wondering what he would do if he wasn't born with these powers and automatically assigned the role of protector because of them

Another thing about Titan, I love how in the scene where he's introduced formally with powers, the score is written like it's supposed to be romantic, or heroic, but there's a weird thing Hans Zimmer did where he managed to make it sound sinister especially towards the end, when he gets angry at Roxanne

Overall thoughts: I'm in love with this movie.

I am also furious that we went from "It can be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil" and "I'm shaking in my custom baby seal leather boots" and "There is no Queen of England" to;

"It's either a paper weight or a flash-grenade, so careful with that"

"I have eyes that can see right through lead" is the funniest thing to ever grace my eyes and ears.

#Megamind #long post #THIS MOVIE'S SO FUCKING GOOD #DreamWorks #dreamworks megamind

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thegoldencontracts · 22 days

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So. You know promise rings? Not exactly an engagement ring but a little more serious than boyfriend-girlfriend... merfolk wear promise shells. Shells that represent the person they're with... Azul's partner (It's Ri--💥) wearing a small spiral shell that's wide at the opening with bumps along it, its coloration a deep purple and black. You could almost confuse it for a tentacle from afar.

How many biographies and autobiographies do you think he'll have? Self-help books?

Annnd what do you think Azul's future mega corporation would be called? Because I've seen some iterations use the 'Mostro' name and I used 'Ashengrotto' because... come on. It's his name! People need to recognize him!

The more I think about it, the more I need to see Azul meet his future self. Would he love the guy or treat him like... Cece? Hehe.

OH MY GOD PROMISE RING JUST GIVES ME THE CUTEST IDEAAA (in my opinion at least)

Azul with ri- I mean, his totally anonymous partner... He gives them a promise she'll and he tries to act as nonchalant as he can but he's also so embarrassed about ITTTT and he's trying to be smug and everything but then rid- I MEAN his partner is like "wow, this truly is quite important to you I'm pleased to see you so greatly value our relationship" not even in a teasing way just genuinely trying to be good faith and appreciate Azul's efforts yk...

But of course Azul gets embarrassed T_T I-It isn't like that, he's just... Yeah he has no defense for himself and he gets so pouty and huffy "Not now, I'm losing" (This line is paraphrased from a tootally random fic that you toooootally didn't write and I toooooooooootally didn't reread 5 gorillion times lmao)

A bunch, Azul is all about that grind 💪💪💪 he will power through the writers block

Anndd if Azul has a restaurant chain I feel like he'd actually keep Mostro because despite him acting aloof and business-minded he actually truly cares for the Lounge (one of the funniest parts of twst imo is that fact that Azul in canon is basically... A FUCKING TSUNDERE OVER HIS LOVE FOR IT'S CRAFT IT'S THE FUNNIEST THIGN EVER Jade says it's clear he cares about the lounge, Azul says "Hah! Do you honestly believe me to be capable of an illogical sentiment such as 'attachment'?" And Floyd and Jade are like... Yeahh... Sure we totally believe you Mann he's literally a tsundere for his restaurant HOWEW-)

Anyways sorry the temptation to yap was there and I couldn't resist but back to what u were saying so I feel like he'd be attached to the name too and no matter how he tried he can't bring himself to change ittt

CECAELIA FAIRBANKS MENTION SPOTTED I WILL NOW RAMBLE Cecaelia is Azul's worstie she breaths within 1000000000 miles of him and he's immediately like "SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE ASKED YAP YAP YAP RIZZLESS BETA WHITE KNIGHT L + RATIO + I HAVE MORE CONTRACTS THAN U" nothing can compare to his hate /j

But actually though I feel like it depends on whether or not Azul knows this is his future self bc with cecaelia that's the conflict it's literally a better version of Azul bc... Azul from the future but Azul doesn't realize thatttt

But the version you're bringing up? Even better version of Azul. More successful and more skilled. If Azul doesn't know... Poor dude's gonna be put through the emotional wringer (and develop a strong hatred for what is quite literally himself) His hatred will be stronger than what he harbors for cecaelia lmaooo-

If he does tho I feel like he might have mild jealousy that's overshadowed by "HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHST I'LL BE IN A FEW YEARS" kind of thing...

Anyways that concludes my ramble thank you

#tina rambles #azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland

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thelador-s-mclargehuge · 5 months

Text

Episode 5

youtube

Before we get to The Mantis Lords, there isn't a lot to go into but I think this is the funniest episode I'd done so far. Editing is still a little jank but I was still in the Early Stages of figuring shit out, and I was writing, getting the game footage, doing voice direction, and editing these videos AND trying to keep on a 'one video every two weeks' timeline Needless to say. Extremely not sustainable and the editing kinda suffered from it. But that said. Ultimately I'm still pretty proud of how it turned out, timing jank or no. But the Mantis Lords themselves I'm reeally proud of. They may be my favorite characters to write, as you can see going forward I just keep putting them in episodes because I really like them. So I assume everyone reading this is, like, familiar with the Mantis Lords from the game. Needless to say I had to give them... uh... any level of character so that they could interact with things. This was around the time that Live Action CW Power Puff Girls Where They're 20 And Upset About It, was making the waves in the Complaining About Cartoons circut.

Y'all remember this.

Just an absolute bad idea from all angles. The Cartoon Grognard Complainers had several years to bitch about the Powerpuff Girls Reboot where bubbles twerks. And with this on the horizon, and the script leaking from it. Everyone was having a field day with it because... ...I mean it was gonna be real bad. I sound like I'm decrying the grognards, but that's because, as a grognard, it's my sworn duty to decry my own actions. The leaked script was charitably not very good. But the studio was thanking it's lucky stars for The Pandemic because they could just say "We're reworking it" and then quietly move it from the shelf to the trash, and no one needs to think about it again.

But being in the middle of this discourse I was thinking to myself Making the PPGs 20 somethings who are struggling to find their way through life is kinda passé. Boring shit. Seen it a million times. A child could come up with that, and has!

So... what if they were in their mid forties and struggling to run a country? Now THAT has some legs!

And that's how we get Rial, Sarose, and Gelnin!

Rial being the buttercup, Sarose being the blossom, and Gelnin being bubbles.

This also let me give each of them a sort of Domain that they oversee. Rial being the tactical and military strategist (With longstanding connections to their neighbors and allies Deepnest) Sarose being essentially the Overseer, the Leader Leader for when a quick decisions needs to get made, and someone to guide the general direction of policy. And Gelnin is in charge of the nitty-gritty of the economics and infrastructure, something she is incredibly passionate about, to the point of boring everyone to tears. (This also let me envision an episode of PPG where the professor buys Blossom a copy of TTD, that she gets bored of relatively quickly, leaving bubbles to give it a try and she becomes completely addicted.)

Thankfully I've found everyone else loves these mantis lords as much as I do. I think they're good characters, and at least the people commenting on my videos seem to agree. And yeah, they are fun as fuck to write. The line from this episode "My beautiful, wonderful sisters, I am moments away from rejoining the battle ON HIS SIDE!" is one of my favorite lines I ever done which is why it's in all of the promotional material. I just think it's really funny.

#hkr-bts #hollow knight #youtube #content creation #behind the scenes #funny #hollow knight resurrected #Mantis Lords #PPG live action #powerpuff girls #Youtube

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polyhexian · 2 years

Text

Nate ranks every transformers thing ever

What:

- Eugenesis

i have no idea how i can ethically rank this as good or bad. its good. its bad. its canon. its fanfiction. it is what it is. dont read eugenesis. please read eugenesis.

God tier:

- Rescue bots

i am not joking. i am not memeing. rescue bots is the best thing to ever come out of the transformers franchise. its the only series to break the three season curse and get a fourth season. it has more episodes than any other series, over 100. it didn’t get cancelled because it wasn’t popular, it ended because they ran out of stories they wanted to tell. then they dropped a sequel series with TWO more seasons. they gave nicole duboc a mainline series for this.

- Mtmte/lost light

life changing. incredible. ruined my life. saved my life. jro is my enemy. jro is my best friend. jro is my dad. i met him once. i showed him my hard copy of eugenesis i paid 150 dollars for and had him sign it. he probably thinks im insane. he DID sign it tho. i think about whirl and cdrw every day of my life

- Cyberverse

I LOVE CYBERVERSE SO MUCH... I don't think any series has captured the pure unbridled chaos of the entire franchise so well. It has so many characters and all of them feel RIGHT. I love the art style. I Love this unhinged soundwave. I LOVE the fresh and interesting new ideas if brought to the table. Season 3 was incredible. The season 4 specials destroyed me. TARN??? TARN IS HERE???

- Rise of the Beasts

I think that Bumblebee is an objectively better film, I just had more fun watching ROTB lol

- Bumblebee movie

- Rescue bots academy

BABY GIRL MY BABY DAUGHTER BABY GIRL BABY BABY

- Earthspark

- Botbots

Yes I am in fact putting botbots this high. This show was so unrepentantly funny. The goof at the beginning show us like oooh space ENERGON crashed to earth the war... Anyway none of that matters lets go to the mall. That is SO funny. They did a chopping mall parody and a Hamilton parody. The protagonist is an unhinged megalomaniac burger.

- Beast wars

don't worry about the visuals you get used to them so fucking fast. beast wars is incredible. the storytelling has so much depth. tigatrons big episode about the cost of their war against the planet and defining what protecting the planet even means changed me. theres an entire episode about farting and rampage and depth charge wanna hate fuck SO bad its fucking unreal

- Recordicons

you WILL acknowledge david willis’s contribution to lgbt history and you WILL laugh at his very funny memes

Great tier:

- Transformers Prime

- Transformers Animated

waspy baby.....

- Idw shattered glass

IM UNHINGED ABOUT SG STARSCREAM AND SG STARFIRE IM ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED

- 86 movie (Bluray remaster)

-the five minutes at the end of earthrise when cog became the main character for some reason

This was the funniest shit I've ever seen. One of the worst most boring shitty tf shows I've sat through with characters I truly care nothing for suddenly lurched sideways as out of fucking nowhere and for no reason at all a random background character suddenly took over the plot and gave the most harrowing performance I've seen in awhile in this horrifically tragic death scene that had my jaw on the floor. And then we just moved on and never spoke of it again ckdhzhcjof. WHAT WAS THAT.... LITERALLY WHAT WAS THAT AND WHY DID THAT HAPPEN....

- Armada (the starscream and Optimus parts)

It is UNREAL how good the starscream and Optimus bits are in this show. When the rest of it is pretty terrible. I would say after starscream dies it's pretty meh but not outright bad, just sort of nothin. The first couple episodes tho are so funny because they're so bad they had no script and were all but ad-libbing the whole thing. They couldn't go two minutes without getting a characters name wrong. Incredible. Anyway this starscream is legendary for being such an interesting and dynamic character with the best design ever. And just like. The coolest character arc.

Okay but also just like do not watch this show in English. The English version is awful and it is More than just a dub!! The Japanese version was finished AFTER the American version despite being animated in Japan!! Because the show! Was not! Done!!! The Japanese version of the show is called micron legend and it's practically a different show. Do yourself a favor and watched micron legend subbed.

- Victory

STAR SABER IS MY DAD OK

also the plot hinges around the premise that current autobot commander star saber found a human infant floating through space and legally adopted him. That's incredible come on

- IDW windblade mini

saren stone could kill me with a brick and i would thank them

Good tier:

- Transformers RiD15 IDW comic

-Beast Wars 2 movie

- IDW2

- MMC mnemo/notif comic *

- Transformers go!

FUCK YEAH DRAGONS

- Funpub shattered glass

- Beast Wars uprising

DID YOU KNOW EJECT HAS A FUCKING SON?

Okay Tier:

- Wfc: Siege

- Zone

homosexual

- Challenge of the Go Bots *

Bad tier:

- The rest of IDW1

- G1

I'm not sorry for this. I don't like it. Boo

- Japanese headmasters

- Armada (the rest of it)

- Energon

- American headmasters

- Robotix *

im fucking unironically convinced when this flopped they just reused the plot for headmasters

- Wfc: earthrise

- Super god masterforce

- Beast wars 2

- Beast wars neo

- Beast machines

- RiD 2001

- 86 movie (pre bluray remaster)

- Cybertron

- Vanpires *

the wildest shit ive ever seen. ive watched every episode. imagine the cgi of beast wars season 1 with integrated live action. theres vampire cars and they "drain the gas from innocent cars" when cars??? not sentient???? the human children got irradiated and now they can turn into fucking horrible car beasts. why was this fucking made

- Bayverse

- Machinama’s Prime Wars

You know a series is bad when the first thing I want to complain about is the sound mixing

- Go-bots (transformers branded)

- Wfc: kingdom

Elite one my beloved I am so fucking sorry

Burn in hell tier:

- Rid15

Copaganda to rival paw patrol

- Exodus

This book called me a slur

- Hayato sakamoto’s Transformers Legends

- Kiss players

The worst thing transformers has ever done

??? (I still havent read/watched these) tier:

- Robot Masters

- Devastation

I played twenty minutes of this

- WfC

I’ve actually played a few hours of this but i got bored and didn’t finish so I don’t feel like i should rate it, but ultimately i just found it kind of generic and it didnt grab me

-FoC

-Wings Universe

-Unite Warriors

this is illustrated by hayato sakamoto and ive seen enough of like, the horny bathtub art and oversexualized female characters to assume its most likely shit tier, but i think he also brought breakdown back to life and canonized kobd? I do legitimately want to read this eventually

-Transtech

-Marvel comics

-GI Joe transformers crossover comics

-Dreamwave comics

-new energon universe image comic

-Q transformers

I have actually watched the subbed episodes of this but, there’s so few of them and its so clearly not intended for me since this is like a little silly flash cartoon specifically for japanese fans of transformers that its like, of course i dont really get the jokes or anything so even though i found this kind of boring i dont think its bad and i dont feel comfortable putting it on a tier

- TFP tie in games

- Bayverse tie in games

- Earth Wars

Energon enema though

- IDW MLP crossover

- Nezha

Nezha is lost media but it has toys and I have one so uhhhh I guess I'm acknowledging it theoretically exists

* don't act like this doesn't count, once you're deep enough to make a list ranking every transformers thing ever made you have to start counting this type of shit too

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