#and then every time he starts to waiver about if this can be justified by *any* results gotten out of it

[rheineorshine]

ty betteridge is NOT a gaslight gatekeep girlboss

#woe.begone #he's middle management AT BEST #guy who wakes up looks in the mirror and tells himself he believes that the ends justify the means #clocks in for his 9 to 5 at the human experimentation and torture facility #and then every time he starts to waiver about if this can be justified by *any* results gotten out of it #takes a moment and reminds himself that at least one iteration of ty betteridge is out there madly in love with a cowboy and free from this #that he can't let that doubt linger or settle in the ends have to justify the means the compound cannot find out about the duplication leak #to be clear this is NOT a ty betteridge apologist post #but also at one point his superiors told him he was no longer needed and he lined up neatly and walked willingly to euthanasia... #character that is lying directly to your face about being in control of the situation and having his own agency #w.bg

[legacygirlingreen]

Drenched in Magic // Sebastian Sallow x MC One shot

A/N: this was a wonderful colab with @darch7995 ! I simply wrote the story for her idea and HERE is the audio she did! Seriously check out her page sometime bc her audios are INCREDIBLE

All screenshot is by @silverxstardust - she’s got great work as well!

Warnings: nudity, skinny dipping, kissing, flirting, etc

Word count: 4k

The burning in her thighs was almost distracting from her current plight. Almost. Not only had Sebastian sallow drug her from the warmth of the castle right before dinner for a brief treasure hunt in the highlands, but he’d gotten more than either of them bargained for when they’d stumbled upon a camp of dark wizards. Unfortunately, one of Rookwood’s men recognized her as the one who’d lead to their boss's demise, quickly alerting others in the camp to her and the slytherins presence, and thus the unforgivables being hurled around them had started.

Sebastian, wanting to make good on his promise to never cast one again, immediately took off running, pushing her ahead of him to do the same. And they had continued running at top speed, using whatever spells could come to mind to protect them as many of the wizards turned into various animagus forms, running beside them as vile creatures like dark mongrels.

She was thankful for the massive amounts of walking, stair climbing and often running required by the average hogwarts student - the castle was large and avoiding detentions meant frequently breaking out into a sprint in the corridors. Slowly but surely Sebastian was able to pause every now and again, firing confringo and various spells at the opponents, reducing the number of wizards chasing them with time.

“Glacius!” Sebastian shouted as he hurled the spell out over his shoulder before carefully pulling her body into his. She initially went to protest his move as he pulled her along, seeing no point for him wrenching her into his side, but as the lime green ball of light flew past her body, the place she’d previously been standing, she realized why he had done so.

Having no time to focus on that, she turned around, seeing the enemy frozen in place by Sebastian, and deciding that given the man had attempted to use Avada Kadavra on her, then she was justified in using extreme force…

“Diffindo!” She shouted, turning back around to the difficult to see path in front of them as they continued to run. Pushing ahead of Sebastian, who was slowly starting to waiver with his pace, yet she could still feel him on her heels as they ran.

“Have I ever told you that I really like those trousers ? Like really like them” Sebastian said as they pressed on.

“We are running for our lives, and all you can focus on is my wardrobe Sallow? I never knew you were such an observer of fabrics. Perhaps you should fill that open position at Gladrags now that Mr. Hill’s assistant eloped!” She retorted, annoyed he could find time to flirt with her despite their situation.

“Hard pass. It’s less about the trousers, and more about what’s in them that I find so appealing” he responded and she didn’t have to see his face to know he was smirking.

“Perhaps wait until we are no longer in danger to make comments on my-“ she coughed and although hilariously timed it was mostly from the exertion to her lungs. “Assets?” He asked mischievously, accentuating the former part of the word.

It was at that exact moment she felt a firm smack against the same area she could feel his eyes staring despite running in the nearly pitch Black Forest.

Quickly tossing a side eye over her shoulder as they ran she frowned, realizing that even when their lives were at stake, he was still going to behave like a pig. Figures. Before she could even open her mouth to question him further he responded cheekily.

“I believe it’s called multitasking darling, you should try it someti- Incarcerous!” He shouted, and she heard the thud of yet another body drop to the ground as she turned to see a man tied to the ground. Feeling Sebastian’s hand grabbing at hers, she didn’t question when he thrust his non-dominant hand into her own and began to yard her along.

“Multitasking?” She whispered under her breath rhetorically but Sebastian only chuckled at her stunned reaction.

“Multitasking. Like saving your ass, while also staring at or ” Sebastian trailed off, once again reaching down and this time grabbing a firm handful of her bottom as she yelped, not expecting him to have done something so untoward with their lives on the line.

“What in Merlin's name?!” She cried out, and just as she went to yell at him for his behavior, she saw movement out of the corner of her eyes shouting “Bombarda!” Watching how the witch who’d meant to attack them, flew back against a tree with a sickening smack.

“Now what did that witch do to you to deserve such excessive force darling? Could it be you’re reacting this way because you’re riled up?” He teased her, deciding they should make a stand against the few wizards closing in on them. Sebastian knew that deep down if angered enough or truly threatened, the girl would unleash unforeseen magic that would reduce enemies to shreds.

“Riled up? Riled up?! Why on earth would I be riled up Sallow?!” She asked him frustrated at his behavior while the exhaustion burned in her lungs. She was so angry at the boy for continually making passes at her then backing away. He was such a horrendous flirt in private yet when questioned by Ominis, Poppy or any of their other classmates he seemed less than interested in her. The constant confusion grew more and more frustrating to her, as with time, she’d come to really like the boy.

He was tall - much taller than he had been in 5th year - and had only grown more handsome as he’d aged. His wild brown hair had only gotten more unruly. His smile, still charming and full of light. His shoulders, more broad and his frame filled out with more muscles than she’d have expected. Gone was every trace of baby fat, however still the boyish appearance she grew to love had remained somehow. I’m his dimples, in his eyes and in his playfulness. Sebastian sallow was by far the most handsome man she’d laid eyes on.

Giving her that charming Sallow smile he lightly pulled her body behind his own as he cast protego and a red beam from the bushes beside them cast off his forcefield as she gasp. She needed to stop allowing herself to become distracted during dangerous scenarios, as he was capable of flirting and fighting apparently but she couldn’t hold her own when he was standing so close.

Trying to separate from him once more, he pulled her against his body tighter, casting her a warning gaze downward as he continued the onslaught of teasing by saying “not yet princess” just before another beam bounced off his forcefield.

It frustrated her that he continued to harass her. It frustrated her that he was so damn good at fighting while also riling her up. It frustrated her to know that he was so calm under pressure all the while she was dying within his hold. She was frustrated he held her that way and still he refused to make a move unless under life or death scenarios. It frustrated her the way his thumb stroked against the skin of her thigh gently…

As soon as he deflected the charm, he dropped the protego. And she’d had enough between him and the dark wizards after them both. Feeling the electricity so frequently in her veins charging the air, she decided that now was as good a time as any to let it go. Pointing her want to the sky, she saw the remaining three enemies closing in, pulling down a lightning bolt from the heavens as she reduced the last three of their enemies to ash.

“Wow. It still amazes me how incredible you look when you pull that magic out of thin air. A thing of dreams truly” he said as he continued to hold her against him by the hand he’d moved from her thigh to her waist, and cast down a sly grin with a small wink.

At that she huffed, pushing him away and brushing herself off. She ran a hand through her disheveled hair, realizing that her braid had mostly come undone and recognized soon she’d likely have to redo it. Finally able to catch her breath she walked forward, seeing that one of the fallen wizards had dropped a small coin purse ahead of her, and just as she reached down to grab it she heard Sebastian call out for her.

“MC look out!” She didn’t have much time to react before he hurled himself towards her, tackling her into some bushes as a loud whooshing sound and an animalistic growl filled the air.

“Falling hard for me now aren’t you MC?” He asked with a chuckle as he held her cradled against his chest , ignoring the fact that a River troll had already spotted and charged at them.

Rolling off of him and onto her back, she quickly picked herself up and moved out of the way. Unfortunately Sebastian moved the other direction, as the troll moved between them, cornering her back against its den. Continuing to swing its large staff at her, she continued to dodge and deflect while whatever spells Sebastian hurled seemed to do little damage to it.

Concentrating, she used her ancient magic, spurring herself past the beast and landing herself next to Sebastian, at least she attempted to do so, but miscalculated the distance, crashing into him and sending them both flying backwards. As they did so, she could feel his arms once again snaking around her to cushion her fall.

Immediately all she could feel was warmth. Sticky, warmth and the most foul odor she’d ever smelt. Troll boogies.

“Oh that’s downright foul… and here I was having a good hair day” Sebastian chided out before he rolled out of the barreling troll's way.

As the beast reached its staff up to swing at her, she lifted her wand, using ancient magic once more and catching its weapon mid air, flinging it back into the trolls face, disrupting it before once again calling down the lightning to finally defeat it.

Looking over she saw Sebastian staring up at her from the ground with a smirk on his face.

“Don’t.” She warned him as she examined the absolutely filthy state they found themselves in. Covered in dirt, sweat, blood and now troll boogies.

“What?” He asked feigning innocence as she rolled her eyes

“You know what.” Her tone was threatening but Sebastian hardly seemed to mind as he continued to mess with her.

“You know, I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to look sexy while covered in troll boogies but here you are, proov-“ Sebastian was interrupted by a loud howl.

“You have got to be kidding me!” She replied, annoyed at the now incoming mongrels. Deciding she was done fighting for the time being she reached a hand out to Sebastian, and with him distracted she decided to use her newly acquired skills in apparition to get as far away as she could with a location she knew well in her mind…

“Wha-“ Sebastian looked slightly green at the sudden transportation but quickly regained composure before adding “if you wanted me alone darling all you had to do was say so”

Instead of reacting, she simply swatted him away, heading out from the entrance of the cave. Hoping to leave before Sebastian asked too many questions, she knew that the small borough of bainburgh was nearby, and there they could access the floo flame to get home.

“What is this place?” Sebastian asked, seeing the large carving of the graphorn above them, and she sighed seeing he had firmly planted himself at the entrance to the last keeper trial - the one she had gone in only a few years before.

“This is the entrance to the last keeper trial. I uh, had to tame a graphorn and it opened the door” she exclaimed casually as she continued to hope that he would shuffle away and drop the conversation.

“You what? There’s, but you, how?” He asked, still in shock at what she had told him. She simply shrugged asking “can we leave” while gesturing to the mouth of the gorge as he gave in and followed her.

“Why did you never tell me?” Sebastian asked softly.

“It happened around the same time as the catacomb. You were grieving. I didn’t want to bother you with all the keeper stuff. Then Fig- we don’t need to talk about it.” She explained and he relented, knowing that she often bottled up her emotions, as he did.

“Where are we heading?” Sebastian asked, allowing a change in subject.

“Bainburgh is not a far walk from here, we can take the floo -“ she started but he interrupted.

“It’s past curfew so the floo is shut off to the castle. That and I uh… dropped my bag of powder back when I knocked you to the ground” he exclaimed sheepishly.

“Wonderful. I just want to get these troll boogies off me.” She said rolling her eyes as they came to the beginnings of the forge, seeing jobberknols flying overhead before landing above a waterfall.

Sebastian seemed to have noticed the small pool of water at the base of the cliff as well bc he looked to her, wiggling his eyebrows as he pulled her towards the water.

“Well then Princess, your wish is my command. I’ll have those boogies off you in no time” he exclaimed as he marched the pair of them over to the water's edge.

“Sebastian that water is likely freezing, besides I can assure you, the extent of the grime I want off my body goes much further than what you can see” she nearly whined out, desperately wishing she’d stayed at the castle. She would’ve been bathed and in her night dressing, long asleep if he hadn’t convinced her. But one look into those puppy dog eyes and she'd been a goner.

“Warming charms exist for a reason. And as for the rest… I won’t look if you don’t” he teased, dropping her hand to start working off his plaid school jacket and starting to unbutton his waist coast.

“You can’t be serious” she deadpanned

“Deadly. Besides I heard that once dried, troll boogies are nearly impossible to get off your skin and hair-“ she started to explain and the fear alone of being caked in the vile substance was enough to have her started to undo the latches on her corset style vest.

“Fine. But I’m serious Sallow, no peaking” she warned and he turned out. As he did so, she faced the waters edge, knowing he’d given her the privacy of going into the cool water first. Slowly she removed layer after layer until she was bare, undoing the already messy braid, before wading into the cool water until it covered her from the neck down. In the moonlight she realized how difficult it would be for him to actually see anything, a comfort that allowed her to call to him.

“Alright, I’m facing the wall if you want to come in now” she exclaimed and she had anticipated him to slowly walk into the water as she had, but at the final piece of fabric she heard hit the ground, she soon was sprayed with the large splash his body made as he dived into the water.

Coming up for air he chuckled, expertly swimming towards her, while maintaining a respectable distance as she felt the cool water against her nipples.

“Damn, forgot the warming charm” he reminded her and she sighed realizing they’d be cold until they got out.

“I can go get my wand if you promise not to look-“ she tried to reason but he only swam closer, stopping just shy of her before standing up. While she was covered almost entirely, the tops of his shoulders and chest came into view. Seeing the patch of hair covering the center of his chest her words faltered on her tongue.

“See something you like darling?” He asked at her fish out of water expression.

“I - I’ll get my wand. Excuse me” she went to move but he reached forward, grabbing a shoulder to stop her, keeping his body at a slight distance.

“You know there’s other ways to keep warm right” he teased and she’d finally had enough.

“Would you stop it sallow!” She demanded with a frustrating sigh, pulling free of his grasp as she ducked completely underneath the water to rinse the last of the grime from her hair before breaking the surface.

“Stop what?” He asked, and if he hadn't moved closer while she was under the water, she wouldn’t have been able to see his genuine confusion, not just the fake innocence he loved to tease her with.

“Stop flirting with me when you have no intention of actually following through with anything” she warned and he quirked an eyebrow at her, continuing to close in on her as she moved back.

“What do you mean ‘no intention of following through’?” He asked, quoting her and she shrugged.

“I know you only flirt with me for fun or to see me get frustrated. It’s all some game to you, I know it’s not real” she replied somewhat sadly as she stilled her movements, sinking into the water some more, leaning her head back to see the stars as she felt the cool highland air nip her nose.

“That’s quite a bold assumption to make.” He replied, somewhat defensively but also slightly upset that she would assume something so poorly of him.

“Is it? You never have made a genuine attempt at courting me. Only making obscene comments every now and again or teasing me just to see me blush, then laughing at how red my face gets. How could I not assume it’s some game to you?” She replied, not looking at him as she continued to stare at the stars while soaking in the water.

“Have you perhaps considered that I am just bad at expressing my emotions. That it’s easier to make lighthearted jokes at the things that scare me” he asked her and she pulled her head back up, water drops sliding down her face and neck as she pushed all her hair back.

“I scare you?” She asked confused.

“MC, you terrify the shit out of me” he exclaimed with a distant look in his eye and for once she decided that perhaps she should be the one to tease him instead. Moving closer to him, she stopped just shy of his body, pushing him down so he was covered more by water and level with her.

“You said that troll boogies are hard to remove once they dry” she claimed, pointing to his hair which he has still yet to properly scrub.

“I mostly said that to get you naked.” He admitted bluntly

“Well you got me naked and now I’m offering to make sure all the grime is out of your hair. Can you just shut up and let me help you” she replied and he could only bring himself to nod as she moved behind him, and he dipped his head back as she had previously.

She brought her chilled fingers up to his soaked locks, feeling how silky his hair felt when wet and separating the strands from the sticky substance they had both fallen into earlier. Eventually she worked his hair until she was certain it would be salvageable with a real bath. Noticing the serene expression he wore as he had closed his eyes she commented “you really like having people touching your hair, don’t you”

“Only if by ‘people’ you mean the most beautiful witch I know then yes, I do enjoy it” he replied, looking at her before he pulled his head back free from the water and turned his body to her.

“Do you have an off switch somewhere I’m not aware of?”

“I do, but I’m not quite sure you want to put your hand on my cock and -“

“Sebastian!” She interrupted as he chuckled.

“Sorry, you sort of walked into that one” he gave her a toothy grin before noticing her mild shaking. In the brief amount of time they’d been in the water she was already cold.

“Here I can see you are freezing” he said holding out a hand and she shook her head.

“You think I’m just going to let you feel me up because I’m cold?” She asked and he shook his head with a curious grin.

“I didn’t realize that was on the table, perhaps that’s a better idea than what I had in mind-“ he teased only to feel her smack the exposed skin of his back.

“Feisty. I was going to try wandless magic but I wanted you to be behind me in case we have another confringo style disaster. As lovely as you are, I’d hate to see you without those eyebrows that are so often furrowed at me” he explained and she realized he was simply moving his body in front of hers and she accepted his hand, trying to ignore the way her thigh brushed against his leg as she moved around him in the water. Even the briefest skin to skin contact sent shivers up her spine.

Carefully using wandless magic he was able to slightly raise the temperature of the water around them until it was no longer freezing but it was still by no means pleasant.

“There, don’t want to get too crazy and turn us into a caldron but that’s an improvement… are you feeling alright?” He asked her sudden concern and if she had to guess it was over her distant expression which has resulted from the brief touch under the water.

“Never better.” She said bluntly as she looked at the way the moonlight reflected off his dark eyes or his soaked brown hair clung to his forehead instead of the fringe’s usual place of being pushed off his face.

“Are you sure?” He continued to step towards her with concern.

“Positive” she replied, stepping back, only to find herself up against a rock in the water as he kept coming forward. eventually planting himself directly in front of her, to the point she could feel the occasional brush of his legs against hers as the water lapped around them and the most from the waterfall fell around them.

As Sebastian looked at her with her flushed cheeks, she looked down embarrassed to have been caught in this position with him, but as she did so she realized that the faintest outline of her breasts would be visible through the surface of the water. Looking up at him, she saw his vision trained on exactly what she’d noticed.

She couldn’t find it in herself to reply as his eyes snapped back to her own. Instead she let him take the lead, pushing his hand out and planting himself against the rock behind her as he scooted closer.

“Are you as scared of me, as I am of you MC, because I gotta tell you: dark wizards, mongrel and trolls don’t scare me, but this terrifies me” he admitted while looking at her through downcast eyelids. She didn’t say a word, only flickering her gaze down to his lips as he continued to press his body closer. Bringing a hand up she laid it on his chest , but didn’t push him away, simply holding it there. Underneath her palm she could feel his heart pounding. The feeling of his heartbeat and the nervous shakiness in his breath told her he wasn’t lying.

Finally finding the last bit of courage she pressed off the rock and slowly brought an arm up to loop around his neck, her body floating in the water as she gently tread. At first he seemed surprised but quickly wrapped an arm around her bare waist, feeling her soft skin with the other.

“Positively terrified Sallow… are you too frightened to kiss me or..?” She teased and he leaned in pausing only briefly as he hovered his mouth over hers to ask

“You know there’s no going back to the way things were before if we do this?” He asked and she nodded, tipping her face up and closing the gap to answer his question.

He groaned at the feeling of her lips on his and the gentle way she clung to his body for support as he could stand in the water while she was too short. Hoisting her up slightly, he moved a hand down to grope her curves under the water's surface as they kissed.

Breaking away he remarked “Merlin you’re so beautiful” he said sincerely as he rested his forehead on hers.

She giggled at his compliment, kissing his nose before responding “easy for you to say when you’ve already gotten me naked and we haven’t even been on a proper date”

“You don’t think slaying trolls isn’t a wonderful date actively?”

“Certainly not traditional”

“Have either of us ever been traditional?”

“No I suppose not” she replied once again chuckling.

“Come here, how often do we find ourselves truly alone… I’m not wasting a second of tasting those sweet lips of yours” he demanded, pulling her close as they kissed under the moonlight, entranced in the pool together

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow/reader #sebastian sallow x slytherin!reader #fluff #hogwarts legacy fandom

[rosewind2007]

Some fool (not really, ❤️they know exactly what I’m like, thank you for the opportunity to rant @gamebird ) asked me about my take on how Gurathin noticed Murderbot was “rogue” and—

I think the on-site briefing could be the initial thing that made Gurathin suspicious

See All Systems Red:

And it had been hammered into them from the pre-trip orientation, to the waivers they had to sign for the company, to the survey packages with all the hazard information, to their on-site briefing by their SecUnit that this was an unknown, potentially dangerous region on a mostly unsurveyed planet.

We know MB has been getting away with this for almost four years (I’m using 24/365 here not any inter-system variants like Preservation’s 28 hour cycle) so it’s supposed to be good at this! Perhaps Gurathin (my beloved) has heard a few briefings before? They’re always the same—but instead MB injects sarcasm and irony (but maybe only over the feed? Perhaps that’s key here?)

Actually for me I think G’s augments would usually allow him extra connectivity to the SecSystem which includes SecUnits—MB might be bluffing with GrayCris but hmmm…“One of them is an augmented human, a systems engineer. He can make it launch. Check the data you got from our HubSystem. It’s Surveyor Dr. Gurathin.” GrayCris absolutely buy this, and of course G is the one who figures out the critical hack (not MB, which you might expect):

“Gurathin had figured out how to use the hack from their HubSystem into our HubSystem to get access”

Back to my point:

So my take is that right from the start G thinks there’s something odd about SecUnit, but he is perhaps so heavily influenced by CR propaganda and popular culture that he just like MB cannot reconcile this behaviour with a SecUnit, certainly not a rogue one—a rogue would be killing all the humans—so he initially assumes there is something controlling it somewhere? Or that it’s a modified unit? Or he doesn’t know but it’s not a SecUnit because he knows what they’re like and it’s not like this

And my personal take which is that Gurathin really likes (really likes) MB’s feed presence—imagine expecting the standard briefing from a completely emotionless machine and you’re deep in the feed (which Gurathin is a lot of the time) and instead it’s this really subtly funny and ironic version of the briefing, pointing out (really subtly) all the stupid bits which you’ve laughed at (internally before) and it’s just—just like you

And from then on Gurathin is noticing everything/anything, absolutely zeroing in on anything the SecUnit says or does—he can justify this to himself, it’s anomalous, it could be threat—but actually because he wants to be in MB’s company

BUT anyway, back to canon:

Before the worm attack, what is MB doing?

It’s looking at the sky: this is NOT SecUnit behaviour

“The planet had a ring, which from our current position dominated the horizon when you looked out to sea. I was looking at the sky”

I think before the worm attack, remember they’ve been there for three weeks (twenty-two cycles), Gurathin has been just making every excuse to be in the same feed area as MB—because of the anomalies obviously

We know Gurathin is hardly one for the demonstrative displays of emotion*, so why is it in ASR that he’s the one MB notices has a smile? Do we get physical descriptions of the other PresAux team? No we don’t, we get how they’re emotionally connected to each other but nothing about their facial expressions, and then at the end we get:

“Gurathin was the only loner, but he seemed to like being with the others. He had a small, quiet smile, and they all seemed to like him.”

Until the tragic misunderstanding about the governor module I think MB likes Gurathin right back

(Tragic Misunderstand TM)

*in Exit Strategy

“Gurathin came down to the lobby to wait for the GrayCris representative and took a seat in plain view on a lower platform, so stiff he looked more like a SecUnit than I did.”

Also, MB adds there: Well, in his defense it was a nerve-racking situation. No one asked you to defend Gurathin, MB—you DO like him

Anyway, where were we? Back to All Systems Red before the worm attack:—I reckon G knows there’s something seriously anomalous about their SecUnit before the worm attack

Worm attack just throws it all into stark relief and from then on in he’s just trying to make sense of it, as I’ve said before he knows MB isn’t a normal SecUnit AND he tries to get MB to fess up and explain what’s going on!

Look at how when MB does something that IT acknowledges the Governor Module would be triggered by Gurathin is in there querying it:

MB - “They’re supposed to be able to, but equipment failures aren’t unknown.”

👆it says to itself The other good thing about my hacked governor module is that I could ignore the governor’s instructions to defend the stupid company. Gurathin immediately chips in with:

G - “What about your systems?”

MB - “As the only one here with experience in these situations, I’m your best resource.”

👆 It was one of those impulses that comes from my organic parts that the governor is supposed to squash

G - “What situations?”

“Gurathin was in the hub doing something on his personal system. I wondered what he was doing and had just started to carefully poke around through HubSystem to find out.”

Then they get back from DeltFall with tales of rogue SecUnits and horror and death!

And whilst their SecUnit which he already had suspicions of, is out of action (because it shot itself, remember) he finds that:

Yes, it is rogue.

It believes it killed 57 people it was charged with protecting

The fact that he didn’t just immediately permanently put it out of action only serves to support my other, even LESS POPULAR opinion, which is that Gurathin is utterly besotted with Murderbot.

I do think this aspect is much overlooked by a lot of people: until Gurathin looks into its logs he doesn’t know that it (and this is what MB believes and G has no reason to think it’s lying to itself because that’s getting really really complicated into what logs and memories represent in the Murderbot Diaries) killed 57 clients, apparently innocent people—he has lived with it for three weeks, appears to be aware it isn’t what it appears to be BUT is certainly not being negative to it, in fact is smiling more than anywhere else in the book series? Surely this revelation comes as a shock?

Also: do note that Guarthin doesn’t lead with this—you’d think the fact that “This Unit has killed people before, people it was charged with protecting. It killed fifty-seven members of a mining operation.”

Wouldn’t you expect this apparent FACT would be what he’d lead with? But no, he doesn’t.

I mean? Why doesn’t he?

Gurathin is one mixed up person at this point, he’s reeling, I think he wants to believe MB’s version of events, which hey! We later do find out isn’t actually true! It’s not until it visits Ganaka Pit itself that it actually knows what happened…

In canon of course we then move on to the whole it calls itself Murderbot thing, and I would note that a) this is TRUE, and b) it’s Mensah who asks

Anyway, in summary:

Art by the wonderful @cinqueform ❤️

#murderbot #the murderbot diaries #murderbot diaries #gurathin #secunit #martha wells #all systems red #gurathin my beloved #exit strategy #gurathinista #gurathin was right #I mean Gurathin wasn’t right about everything—but he was right about a LOT

[rons-hermiones]

Come Find Me

Come Find Me

by rons-hermiones

Summary: Unplanned, Hermione is forced to spend Christmas at the Burrow due to her grandmother falling very ill. After being ignored by Hermione for weeks, Ron is determined to show her how much she means to him. Just before he gets the chance to tell her, Bellatrix Lestrange shows up with other plans for Hermione. Can Ron get to her before it's too late? (Ron/Hermione Half-Blood Prince AU)

Rating: M for language & dark themes in later chapters.

Chapter Eighteen

“It’s him.” Harry says for the second time in such a brief amount of time as he wiped the sweat off his brow. 

Ron stands from his own bed and hurriedly makes his way to his friend, desperate for answers. 

“Was she there? Did you see Hermione?” He asks before he can help it, mentally kicking himself for not checking to see if Harry’s alright. “Are you alright mate?” He hopes it doesn’t sound like an afterthought. 

Harry waves him off, moving to swing his legs off the bed, “Hermione was there.” He admits after catching his breath for a moment. 

“And?” Ron asked impatiently. 

The chosen one shakes his head frantically from side to side, “he got angry with her. Really angry. I-” he pauses, “I felt it.” 

“Why? Why was he angry?” Ron’s becoming panicked as well, his hands roughly grasp Harry’s shoulders as he rocks him back and forth. 

The dark haired boy closes his eyes as an attempt to remember, “half blood,” he breathes, “she called him a half blood.”

And they both know Hermione’s the last person to have problems with such a thing, after all, Harry is one himself. It’s Voldemort who’d snap at such a statement. 

“Blimey.” Ron says, hands slipping and going slack from their place on Harry. 

They fall into a tense silence. The pair of them are breathing roughly as the consequences their best friend must’ve paid for such a thing. Harry, though, looks as if he wants to say more. 

“Ron.” He starts rather shakily. 

With round petrified eyes, the ginger looks to him, already afraid of what’s to come. 

“She tried,” Harry pauses to clear his throat, “Hermione, she spoke to me.” It comes out more even than before. 

“What?” He asks bewildered, unsure what else to say. 

The Boy-Who-Lived, exhales, trying to calm himself down before speaking. “This thing between me and him, whatever it is, it works both ways.” It’s hard to explain something you don’t understand yourself. 

“Meaning?” Ron’s voice doesn’t sound like his own. 

“I didn’t even mean to,” he begins but Ron still looks puzzled. “Tap into his mind I mean, it was a theory really. Earlier when it happened, I was  just concentrating so hard on Hermione about what he wants from her and suddenly I was there like I was in the room. I thought maybe if I tried again, it might work.” 

“And it did.” Ron breathed, sounding hopeful, thinking that this could be a good thing, maybe Harry could figure out where she was. 

“Ron listen,” the chosen one begins, seeming to have caught his friend's train of thoughts, “it was hard enough the first time, when it was an accident. It was near impossible the second time, Vol-” he pauses, “he could sense it, he tried blocking me.” 

“So you can fight it.” The ginger argues, “wouldn’t be the first time, right?” 

“I’m not an expert, I’m not even a legilimen. I only got through cause he was caught off guard, I doubt he’d let it happen again.” Potter was skirting around the real reason he wasn’t willing to try reaching out again. He wanted to spare the other boy the details. 

“He wouldn’t expect you to do it again so soon,” 

“Ron-” 

“Maybe if Dumbledore or someone like Snape,” 

“Ron!” Harry snapped, finally shutting him up. 

Wide blue eyes meant guilt ridden green ones. 

“Hermione, she paid for what I did. He didn’t like that I did it, made it worse when she figured it out and tried to take advantage of it.” 

There’s a tense silence for a moment as Ron stumbles back and begins pacing the expanse of his room. “Paid for it?” His voice is shaking. 

Harry sighs, “sometimes it’s like I’m in the room watching, but sometimes, sometimes it’s like I’m him,” their eyes meet before The-Boy-Who-Lived looks away in shame, “this time I was seeing it from his eyes. I could feel him, he was angry, more angry than I’ve ever felt, even before Hermione said something.” 

“What did she say?” Ron asks desperately. 

“She called out my name, said she didn’t know where she was then, Ron,” he paused nervously, “She said your name, told me to tell you something, she never got to say what.” 

Tears stung the corners of Weasley’s eyes. 

“It was so blurry but it was like I was him and one minute he was reeling from what she had said, the next thing I know, he was looking down at his foot. When things focused again Hermione was in a ball, crying in pain. That’s when I lost it.” 

Tugging roughly at his hair, Ron flopped back onto his bed, resisting the urge to punch something. Instead, he buried his face in his hands trying to think of something, anything, to prevent him from being irrational. 

“There’s one more thing.” Harry says quietly, barely audible. 

His blue eyes snap from where they were buried in his palms, pleading his friend to finish. 

“He said if it happened again, that someone was going to die.” 

Fuck.  

...

“Dumbledore told me you know,” Ron breaks the silence that’s been heavy in the hair for a half hour, “about those things,” he drops into a whisper, “horcruxes.” 

Harry nodded, then opened his mouth to speak, until the redhead stopped him. 

“I don’t think we should talk about it. What’s the use right? Only she knows how to destroy them anyway. I don’t wanna risk You-Know-Who cracking into your head and finding out we all know.” He rumbles. 

Ron then notices the look of guilt plastered over his best mate's face at the idea of Voldemort finding out and punishing Hermione for it. Maybe even worse than punishment... 

“Out of sight out of mind? That’s what they say innit.” Ron tries to lighten his tone but it’s hard. 

Harry speaks after a minute, “yeah, you’re right. Good idea Ron.” He praises weakly, still a little ill at the thought of that playing out. 

“I reckon we should go downstairs. They’ve had to have come up with something and we’re no use up here.” Harry can tell Ron’s trying to employ distraction as a tactic to keep his anger and guilt at bay. 

Without a word, the chosen one stands, signaling to the door. As the pair venture from the attic, voices float up the steps, confirming the remnants of a plan being formed. 

“Weasley you can get ahold of the logs down Gringotts can’t you?” Mad Eyes gruff voice asked Bill. 

“Yeah.” He responded. 

“I don’t see what that would do.” Molly protested. 

“Those goblins down there will do anything for a shiny sickle Molly, but the magic in the building logs every transaction. It isn’t by name, but if there’s a big one we may be able to trace it. Could tell us if the Death Eaters are planning on moving somewhere.” Moody tells the group, “just being cautious!” 

At this, Harry and Ron exchange befuddled looks before descending closer to the kitchen, where the noise was coming from. 

“Where’s that letter that came for Granger yesterday? We better check it’s not a fake.” Moody said next. 

Ron had just about enough. He wouldn’t let them check something so personal. 

“You’re one to talk about fakes professor.” His voice broke out angrily, causing all heads to turn. 

“Hedwig’s smart enough. She wouldn’t bring us something like that.” Harry justified his voice calmer. 

“Oh dears, you’re awake, did you rest? Did the potions help some?” Molly asked fussing over her son and Harry.  

The two boys exchanged a quick look. Harry thought it best to not inform them about connecting with Voldemort again. He was worried Dumbledore may not let him try it again or push him too hard. Both would result in pain, especially for Hermione. 

“Yeah, it kept us down for a bit.” The chosen one settled for. 

The Weasley matriarch offered a weak smile, “good, I’ll prepare you boys something to eat.” Neither had the heart to tell her they weren’t hungry.  

Noticing eyes on them, Ron clears his voice, “if we found Dolohov, Lestrange, even any random snatchers, they could lead us to her. To Hermione.” It took all his energy to not let his voice waiver. 

Next to him, Harry nodded in agreement. 

“Death eaters like Dolohov and Lestrange, they’re not easy to find Ron. We’ve been doing double time since the Department of Mysteries, but we’re no closer than we were.” Kingsley informed quietly from a corner of the room. 

“Well we have to start somewhere don’t we?” He retorted. 

“We?” Bill repeated with a cocked eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” Ron’s voice rose with anger,” Harry and I are helping anyway we can, with or without the lot of you.”

“Ron,” Molly turned from the stove. 

“Mum, this is Hermione, so whatever you’re gonna say, save it. I need to do this,” he pleaded with her before turning to the aurors present, “I’ll do anything.” He states strongly. 

Everyone stands silent for a moment until Dumbledore steps forward and eyes him carefully, “you can help by acting as if nothing has happened.” The old man decided. 

“What?” Several voices sounded at the same time, those consisting of more than one Weasley, Harry, and even McGonagall. 

“The plan right now is for everyone in the room to make everyone believe they are going on as they would. If Voldemort knows we are searching mercilessly for Miss Granger, he’s more susceptible to use her as some sort of leverage over Harry. Panic would only ensure her importance.” Albus looked to Harry, indicating to him about the Horcruxes with a simple look. “Until then, all possible leads will be checked quietly. Any snatchers or death eaters in question will be subtly investigated. From there, we can hopefully get leads on locations that may match what you saw Harry.” 

At this, The-Boy-Who-Lived nodded in agreement. He even dared to spare a glance at Ron who appeared red in the face. 

“It is my understanding that the Granger’s are to return from France after the New Year. Besides them, no one who is not within the confines of this house is to know of Hermione’s true reason for absence. Not even your classmates at school.” The headmaster looked at the pair of Gryffindors. 

“School?” Ron spat, how was he supposed to just return like nothing happened? 

“Yes Mr.Weasley. If we are to keep up this guise that nothing has occurred, you are to return to Hogwarts. If anyone asks, Hermione had a family emergency so she’s at her home in London.” 

“Rubbish!” Ron exclaimed, stomping out of the room before Dumbledore could go on any further. 

Instantly, Harry stumbles after him. 

Albus’ lips pulled into a thin line before he turned to Bill, “I feel it’s best that you and your brothers are the ones to inform the Granger’s. I have no doubt both Ron and Harry feel they should deliver the news and you’re the best man to escort them.” It was unsaid, but the Granger’s would be most comfortable with Bill, having met him prior, being on occasion he’d retrieve Hermione to floo. 

And to everyone’s shock, Molly simply nodded in agreement, knowing Ron would want it to be this way. 

“Perfect,” Dumbledore said, “now shall we discuss current leads in Azkaban?”

Elsewhere, Ron and Harry had stepped outside for a breather. The air had become too stiff at Dumbledore’s plan for them to return to Hogwarts. 

Neither has said anything yet, instead just inhaling the cool winter chill, hoping to ease the tension working its way through them. 

“Do you reckon they’ll let us go to the Granger’s?” Harry almost whispers. 

Ron’s head snaps over to his eyes wide. 

“That’s what you want isn’t it?” The chosen one asked. Harry knew he wanted to go, felt it was his duty. 

“It’s not really a question Harry, I’m going, you’re going. End of story.” The ginger said surely, “anyway, if they wanna ship our arses back to Hogwarts, then you can bet they won’t say anything about us heading to London.” Ron knew taking Harry to frolic around the city probably wasn’t wise, but he also knew he could use a visit to the Granger home as a bargaining chip to agree to attend school after holiday. 

“It’s not a terrible thing you know, going back to Hogwarts.” Harry says, not completely believing the statement himself. 

“How’s that?” 

“Well surely we’ll have more access to books, for research,” the dark haired boy can’t help but smile at the words, Hermione would be proud, “you’ll also have time to get things sorted, so that way when Hermione comes home you’re set.” He said the second part stiffly. 

“Get things sorted? What things?” Ron pushed, the statement bewildering him. 

“Well uh,” he gulped, “Lavender.” 

Suddenly, Weasley’s entire body tensed, “right, well, I handled that on the train.” He mumbled. 

Harry shook his head, “I know how you feel, but Lavender she’s a bit uh, persistent. I just mean now you’ll have the chance to really show her it’s done without Hermione scrutinizing the whole thing.” 

Ron pulls his lips into a thin line, Hermione’s disappearance somehow weighing heavier than before, “I still wish she was around though. I’d honestly have her the way things were then not at all.” He admits almost shamefully as he picks on a loose thread on his jumper. 

“I know,” Harry agrees softly, “it’s killing both of us that we can’t fix this and get her back, so what I mean is that if you can fix one thing, then do it Ron. For her.” 

He nods in agreement, looking at snow topped hills, eyes briefly meeting the worn oak tree. At the sight, a cry builds in this throat, but he soon swallows it. 

“For her.” He whispers to no one in particular.

#ron x hermione #ron weasley #ron and hermione #rons-hermiones come find me #hermione granger #romione fanfic #romione #hp #hp fanfic #sixth year

[greaterawarness]

Moveing On Ch. 11 The Shadow

Read full story here at AO3

Avayla

Cold. Dark. Empty. Avayla walks through the silent tunnel keeping her breathing under control. She could feel him in the darkness. Lurking, watching, waiting for her. The darkness around her feels like it could swallow her up if she let the flame in her hand burn out even for a moment.

“Avayla.”

This was not a voice in her head, nor a voice spoken through the Force. He was here. She steps into a large opening. Stepping further into the round room, there, sitting on what looks like a pedestal is a man with horns sprouting from his head. His skin is decorated in red and black markings. When his eyes open, she freezes, trapped in his gaze.

“Welcome, shaper.” He says to her. She swallows as she tightens her grip on her staff.

“You know what I am.” She says thankful her voice did not waiver.

“Of course. It was Mother Talzin who first discovered your people after fleeing from the Sith.” He says while standing. He walks down from his stage with his arms behind his back.

“What do you want with me?” She asks, holding her ground.

“I am in need of an apprentice,” He says in a soft but dark voice. “I sensed you through the Force. From there I knew you would be the one to aid me in my quest.”

“And what is your quest?” Avayla steps back when he turns to face her again.

“To destroy the Sith.” He says with furry in his eyes. His hate was so strong it burned almost as hot as actual flames. His emotions are so powerful that Avayla’s own emotions mirrored his.

“You want to destroy the Sith? Rex told me you were dangerous… But you only want to destroy the evil in the world.” Avayla thinks aloud.

“What I want is revenge,” he says as he walks around the room. “The Sith took everything from me. Used me and then cast me aside! I was left to rot, but I rose up from the ashes of my failures fueled by my hate.”

The room around them changes. She could see a battle. They used bright laser swords. One man almost looked familiar, but she couldn’t place the face. The other was the dark creature before her. the horned man pushes the other with the Force making him fall down a large metal hole. While stepping closer to peek below the man who had fell leaps up landing behind the horned man cutting him in half. Avayla gasps feeling the laser sword cutting through her own abdomen. The vision fades as she drops to her knees, desperately feeling her stomach for the slice. But there is none. A new vision appears. One where he stands beside someone similar to him. A dark presence chills Avayla to her very core. They battle with no avail. The man with the dark essence kills the other like him. She screams feeling the loss and pain that she felt when losing Hera. The vision subsides leaving Avayla drained.

“After that fateful battle, my Master cast me aside,” The man says with pain in his voice. She could feel it. The hopelessness of being left behind. A feeling she knew all to well. “He abandoned me. Replaced me with another.”

Tears pour from her eyes uncontrollably. She was trapped in his emotions unable to escape.

“But you know what that’s like. Don’t you?” He turns to her one more time. The emotions ease letting her catch her breath. She gets to her feet. “Your Master abandoned you just like mine.”

He walks around her seeing into her mind. She watches the room change but this time to one of her memories. Her heart is in her throat of the sight of her Master standing above her. His new apprentice at his side. Avayla balls her hands into fists. The dark figure from the man’s vision stands beside her Master. The horned man stands next to Avayla as they both look up at their old Masters.

“You are no longer my apprentice,” They speak at the same time. Their voices almost merging together. “You have been replaced.”

“Enough!” Avayla screams. She blasts fire at both Masters. The vision fades as Avayla struggles to catch her breath. She lifts a hand to her forehead trying to regain focus.

“Don’t you see?” The man next to her says. She looks at the man with pain in his yellow bloodshot eyes. “We are the same. Both cast aside by our Masters. But together we can rise above them.”

He extends his hand to her.

“I…” She says with her mind swimming. She had this overwhelming want to take his hand. She slowly reaches out giving in to the urge. Just as they were about to touch the sound of a blaster pierces through the fog clouding her mind. The hand that had been outstretched to her moves to hold the blaster shot in the air.

“Step. Away. From her!” Rex snarls while stepping out of the darkness.

“Rex!” Avayla says feeling relief and clarity sweep over her. she suddenly felt like she could breathe again. Free from whatever hold the horned man had on her.

“Avayla, are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Rex asks with his blasters still aimed at the horned man.

“Clone,” The man hisses while moving his hand letting the blaster shot hit the rock behind him. “Why are you here?”

“I’m here for my friend.” He says stepping into the room. The horned man puts his hands behind his back staring at Rex with narrowed eyes. “You will not take her.”

“I hardly think you have any say in that matter.” The horned man chuckles. Avayla steps between them.

“Stop. Both of you!” She says with a jab of her staff in the ground. She turns to Rex. “He only wants to destroy the Sith.”

“He is a Sith, Avayla.” Rex says. Avayla frowns and looks back at the horned man. “His name is Darth Maul. He’s killed countless of innocent lives! Including children.”

“Why didn’t tell me that before I ran off?” Avayla whips back at Rex.

“Because you were too busy hitting me with wind!” Rex says making Avayla’s face burn with embarrassment.

“Well, that was… uhn… ugh!” She tries to justify it but falters.

“If you two are done? I’d like to start training my apprentice.” Darth Maul sighs behind them. Avayla frowns at him.

“You’re a Sith! My people do not trust your kind.” Avayla narrows her eyes at him.

“It is true, yes. I once was a Sith but no longer. Now I only desire to rid this world of them.” He says. He wasn’t lying. She could feel the truth in his voice and the visions she saw were not fake. She stares at the cave floor thinking.

“You can’t be seriously thinking about joining him?” Rex yells at her. She meets his eyes.

“He’s not lying Rex. And not only that… he might be the only one out there willing to train me!” Avayla says feeling her own fear surface. Rex looks horrified so she turns away. He puts his blasters away and grabs her hand forcing her to meet his eyes again.

“Why did you come here? Do you remember what you first told me when I asked you why you wanted to become a Jedi?” He asks with fear and panic in his eyes. She feels her heart ache.

“It’s not about the power,” She says blinking away tears. “It’s about peace and understanding.”

“That’s right,” He says with a soft smile appearing on his face. “And I promise you that you will find no peace with him.”

Avayla nods while wiping away a tear. She takes a deep breath before turning to face Maul.

“He is right. This is not why I left my people. I am sorry but I cannot be your apprentice.” She says. Darth Maul frowns before closing his eyes.

“That is… unfortunate.” He says opening his eyes again while holding his hands out as pressure squeezes Avayla’s and Rex’s neck, lifting them off the ground. They gasp and squirm under the invisible force. Avayla feels her staff slip through her fingers. She tries to shape fire or wind at Maul but too much of her energy has been drained. She looks over at Rex. His face is turning a deep shade of blue. Tears sting her eyes once more. There was nothing she could do.

The sound was small at first but then rose to a loud scream. Maul frowns confused by the noise until it was to late. Slick and Dogma charge out of a tunnel ramming into him. Avayla and Rex drop feeling the air return to their lungs.

“Are you okay?” Avayla coughs to her friend.

“Never better.” Rex chokes. Maul kicks Dogma off him and throws Slick against the cave wall.

“Dogma!” Avayla calls. The clone with a V tattooed across his eye gives a small wave from the ground where he lays after getting kicked so hard. Rex opens fire at Maul. Maul simply uses the Force to redirect the shots. Avayla grabs her staff and swings it sending a line of concentrated air. He leaps out of the way letting the air cut through the rock. Maul lifts a large rock up with the Force and throws it at Rex and Avayla. They both dive out of the way as Slick fires from behind Maul. Maul runs and is able to dodge every shot.

“Slick? Wasn’t expecting you to come back.” Rex says while joining in at firing at Maul.

“Well… ya know… Your words really struck me in how we’re all apart of this crew and…”

“R6 wouldn’t let him steal ship and wouldn’t stop shocking him until he came back to help!” Dogma cuts him off from across the room. Slick frowns but doesn’t protest.

“Well, I’m glad your back either way.” Rex chuckles before dodging another thrown boulder.

“That makes one of us!” Slick yells while taking cover. Avayla shoots fire and wind but can feel her energy getting drained like before. Her flames barely leave her hands now and the air comes out as nothing more than a strong breeze.

“What is wrong, Apprentice?” Maul chuckles while diverting one of Rex’s shots at Dogma. Dogma ducks behind a rock just in time. “Snuffed out already? I could show you how to grow your power using your hate and passion!”

“Shut up!” Avayla yells feeling a burst a rage rush through her sending flames at Maul. He’s able to divert her flames just like the blaster shots. It stings even more when he does it with one hand behind his back. He gives a chuckle in his throat.

“Good, good, yes feed off your hate!” He says lifting the ground beneath her. she jumps off the side only for him to drop the giant rock on top of her. she holds her hands up shooting air above to slice the rock in half. She still gets crushed but sustains only bruises and mild cuts. When she crawls out of the rubble Rex is being lifted and choked in the air. Dogma and Slick are trapped under a large boulder that Maul is slowly crushing them with. Avayla steps towards Maul and feels all energy leave her body. She drops to her hands in knees panting.

“Stop… please…” She pants still crawling towards him.

“Agree to be my apprentice and I will let them live.” Maul says tightening his grip on Rex’s throat and lowering the boulder more onto Dogma and Slick.

“Don’t!” Rex chokes with his hands desperately clawing at the invisible hold on his throat. Tears blur her vision with panic building in her chest. Dogma cries in pain when the boulder pushes harder down. She squeezes her eyes shut before letting go. She opens her eyes and looks up at Maul.

“I’ll do it,” She says finally. “Just let them go.”

He smiles before throwing Rex against the wall and freeing Dogma and Slick. Dogma clutches a broken arm to his chest while Slick struggles to get to his feet. Maul turns to face Avayla as she stands. He holds his hand out to her. she takes it. He gives a low laugh before walking towards a tunnel.

“Come along, Apprentice. There is much to be done.” He says with his hands behind his back. She looks back at Rex one last time. He coughs while struggling to stand. He meets her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers before running after her new Master.

Rex

Everything is falling apart. The only thing he can hear is his heartbeat ringing in his ears. He watches Avayla disappear in the darkness of a tunnel with Darth Maul. The entrance to the tunnel collapses along with the ceiling of the cave. He pants and struggles to get to his feet. Slick is shaking his shoulders shouting something, but Rex can’t hear it. He took her.

“Rex!” Slick’s voice finally cuts through the ringing in his ears. He blinks a few times coming to his senses. “We have to move! The temple is collapsing!”

Rex gets to his feet. Dogma limps beside him cradling a broken arm. They run through a tunnel praying it was the one leading to a way out. The tunnel behind them collapses almost as fast as they can run. Rex pushes Dogma and Slick forward when he spots light ahead. They keep going feeling the rubble hit the back of their legs with the collapse growing closer and closer to them before they leap into the sunlight just before the ceiling can cave in on them.

They pant and roll on their backs to watch the mountain that had sprouted only the day before retreat back into the earth. Rex sits up spotting a familiar ship fly off into the distance. It was the same ship Ahsoka had held onto so dearly while they tried to escape the Republic ship.

“Fuck!” Slick pants while getting to his feet. “You alright, Kid?”

“Fine, just a broken bone.” Dogma mutters while sitting up. They both stare at the Captain that now stands staring at the direction that the ship had disappeared in. Dogma and Slick exchange a look before Slick steps closer.

“Rex?” He says cautiously.

“My fault.” Rex says softly.

“What?”

“This is my fault.” Rex says turning showing the guilt and pain in his eyes. “Everything that has happened up to this point has been my fault!”

“How is any of this your fault?” Dogma asks.

“I told her to reach out with the Force! That’s how he found her! And more than that… I told them to destroy the escape pods… they could have escaped…”

“What escape pods? Who are you talking about?” Slick asks. Rex starts walking towards Maz’s Castle.

“The ship… we have to go after them! I can fix this.” He says almost frantically. Dogma and Slick run after him.

“Hold on! You’re not in the right mind to go after them!” Slick says grabbing his arm. Rex whips around shoving Slick to the ground.

“I have to fix this! I can’t…” Rex starts before losing all energy and dropping to his knees. “… I can’t lose anyone else… I just can’t… I’m not strong enough…”

Dogma kneels next to his Captain.

“We’re with you Rex.” He says softly. Dogma cautiously puts a hand on Rex’s shoulder. Rex feels all the weight of his guilt and pain over the years of the Clone Wars wash over him. All the emotions he’s been bottling up pours out. For what would be the second time in his life he breaks out in tears. But this time in hopeless sobs. He covers his eyes trying to hide his crying face. Embarrassed to show emotion as he were a Jedi himself. Denal, Echo, Hardcase, Tup, Fives, Kix, Jesse, Cody, General Skywalker, Ahsoka, and now Avayla. His list keeps growing. His fault. All of them.

“I shouldn’t be a leader… I’ll just lead you to your deaths.” He says dropping his head. Dogma looks to Slick desperate for some guidance on what to do. Slick was as shocked and lost as he was. They had never seen Rex like this. Slick had never thought Rex could be like this. So they do the only thing they can think of. The sit on the ground with Rex between them. They listen to the birds chirp overhead as the trees sway with the warm breeze. Dogma shift wincing at his arm while chewing on his bottom lip.

“Do you know,” Dogma starts with a small voice. He swallows trying to muster to strength to keep going. “Do you know I was originally assigned to the 212th?”

When Rex doesn’t answer he goes on.

“Yeah, it seemed like a no brainer to me and everyone else. They thought I would do great with a Commander like Cody and General like Obi Wan Kenobi. But at the last second I put in a request for the 501st. Do you know why?” Dogma glances at Rex. He sits silently staring at the ground. “It was because of you.”

Rex gives a snort and turns his head away from Dogma.

“It’s true. You were unlike any Captain, Commander, or General I had ever seen. You didn’t just lead your men you… were one of the men. You treated everyone like a person. You only called them by their name not their numbers. When clones came to you without names you helped them pick one. And more then that your strategies and battle plans were brilliant! I was with Tup when I was putting in my recommendation. We both said we’d give anything to fight beside you.” Dogma explains. Rex presses his lips together with tears blurring his vision again. “We never had a father or even a father figure, but I think if we did. It was you. More clones looked up to you then you know.”

Rex swallows the knot in his throat and finally lifts his eyes to Dogma.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened to you.” He says with a shaky voice. Dogme puts a hand on Rex’s shoulder.

“What happened to me wasn’t your fault. What happened to all clones isn’t your fault.” Dogma says sternly.

“But I could have…”

“Rex, even if you could have done something the only thing that might have happened from it was your death. And for one I’m really happy you survived.” Dogma says cutting Rex off. Rex nods slowly before staring at the ground again.

“What happened to all the clones?” Slick asks. Rex stiffens before he and Dogma exchange a look.

“Nothing.” Dogma says slowly. He wobbly gets to his feet before extending a hand down to Rex. Rex takes it letting his brother help him up.

“Thank you, Dogma.” Rex says placing a hand on Dogma’s shoulder. They smile at each other while Slick gets to his feet.

“So, now that everything is back to normal… where are we going?” Slick asks. Rex places a hand on Slick’s shoulder giving smile.

“First stop is a medical ship.” He says with a sinister smile.

“Right… for Dogma’s broken arm.” Slick says while staring at Rex’s hand. Dogma places his good hand on Slick’s other shoulder.

“Right. My broken arm.” He says giving the same smile that Rex gives.

“Why are you both looking at me like that?” Slick asks flatly. Rex turns towards where their ship is parked.

“Come on Slick.” Rex chuckles while walking away.

“Seriously, Dogma, why were y’all smiling at me like that?” Slick asks.

“Oh no reason,” Dogma says while walking after Rex before turning around walking backwards. “But how do you feel about being bald for a while?”

“What does that mean? Seriously. Guys!” Slick calls after them.

#au clone wars #moving on #fanfic #fanfiction #writers on tumblr #rex #oc character #dogma #slick #clone trooper dogma #darth maul #star wars #star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #tcw #star wars prequals

[mamashenisfav]

For Minho

Masterlist

part 2

You have spent every waking moment planning for this, it was finally time to get Minho back. Brenda and Jorge had left already, and everyone else was in their place. You could hear the train in the distance. You were ready, you had to be, Minho was counting on you.

Brenda and Jorge are distracting the guards and conductors. Thomas and you were driving behind the train. Thomas got out of his seat and got on the front hood of the vehicle. He had the clamp in his hand. "Get me closer!" he demanded trying to stay balanced and clip it to the train cart. You floored it, luckily, this got him close enough to secure the clamp. Thomas steadied himself and then lunged for the train car. He successfully landed and turned back to you. 'I'm really doing this?' you thought as you got out of your seat and ventured to the front of the vehicle.

"Come on, you've got this" Thomas said reassuringly. Just as you were standing up, one of the tires blew shifting the whole car and causing you to lose your balance.

"Y/N!" Thomas screamed. You were trying to stand upright again, but it had gotten significantly harder. Thomas saw that the clamp was about to give. "Jump!" he urged.

You did so barely grabbing onto one of the bars. Thomas pulled you up and into his arms for the briefest of hugs. You were then started as the clamp gave way and the car flipped backwards down the tracks. You paused for a moment before continuing with your mission.

You started to place the dynamite that would separate the cars. Thomas was covering you. As soon as the train cars were separated and came to a stop, you signaled for Newt and his group to come out and start working. Thomas looked towards the remainder of the train and the guards that were beginning to emerge.

"This is going to be close," he remarked before the two of you ran to get in position. You and some of the others were shooting at the guards. Newt had just finished and the Berge arrived. Everyone was heading to the top to complete the plan. But you stayed back to keep off the guards. They yelled for you to come. You jumped just as the train car was lifted into the air. You climbed up the ladder and were greeted by Newt. Everyone was cheering, you couldn't believe that you'd actually done it. The plan worked!

When you back to camp and the train car was opened, Thomas immediately jumped in, you and Newt right behind him. You desperately searched the crowd. You recognized Aries but didn't see Minho. You walked farther and then Thomas turned to you, "He's not here." Your stomach dropped. Did you grab the wrong car? If he wasn't on the train, where was he? Could he be dead?

Your mind raced and against your will, tears escaped from your eyes. Seeing this, Newt guided you off of the train and away from the crowd. He wiped the tears from your eyes.

"Are you okay love?" he asked.

"I will be" you answered.

Meanwhile, Thomas helped to free the rescuees from their chains. Vince explained to them all what was going to happen next. Then, Thomas and Frypan went to Aries to get any information that he had on Minho. This is when they found out that W.C.K.D was taking the immune 'Subjects' to a place called the city.

"I thought that there were no more cities, that the flare destroyed them all" Brenda questioned.

"There is one" Jorge responded gravely, "But if Minho is going there, you might as well give up now, it's impossible" he added.

"Where is it?" Thomas probed. Jorge went and got one of the maps of a nearby table and circled a spot.

"That's only a few hundred miles. We take everyone who can fight, we take the roads where we can and we could be back within a week." Thomas strategized.

That is where Vince had had enough. "A week?" he questioned. "It took us 6 months to get here. We have over a hundred kids here now. We can't stay here. W.C.K.D will be looking for us everywhere after what we just pulled. You expect me to have you take people to some random location on a map because a kid remembers hearing the words 'the city'? We have no plan, no reliable information, no advantage or element of surprise." he finishes.

"Vince I've thought this through-" Thomas started.

"Last time we went out like this I lost everything" Vince boomed. Then he softened his tone, "I know it's Minho we are talking about. But you can't ask me to risk the lives of those kids for one man. I won't do it" he finished. Thomas was about to say something when they heard the radio come on. That meant W.C.K.D. was doing an aerial search nearby. They immediately cut the lights to the entire facility. Vince and Thomas raced out to see where the planes were. "They're getting close" Vince commented.

"You're right, we can't stay here" Thomas agreed before heading back inside.

Frypan had filled you in on the meeting that Newt and you had missed. You knew that Thomas was going to do something. And he sure as hell wasn't going to do it alone. The three of you packed up your supplies into one of the vehicles and decided to find him after dinner. Once everyone was asleep, Thomas snuck out. He was trying to be as quiet as possible. He was going to save Minho and nothing or no one was going to stop--- "Where do you think you're off to" Newt asked.

"Newt," Thomas said expecting him to try to convince him to stay.

"Don't be a twat about it, I'm already in," Newt replied with a grin on his face.

Thomas went to stop him, " No Newt, you can't, not this time. Even if we find Minho there is no guarantee that we will come back from this," he said. Thomas could justify sacrificing his own life for Minho's, but he didn't want to lead his friend to his demise.

Newt piped up as he walked to the vehicle, "Then it looks like you'll need all the help you can get." he said as he moved to reveal you and Frypan. Thomas shook his head in disbelief. "Well, we started this together, we might as well end it that way too," Newt said.

Thomas paused for a minute, "Okay, let's go get him back". And with that, he jumped in the backseat beside you. The four of you headed out, beginning the long journey before you.

The drive was spent taking turns driving, strategizing, and sleeping. Though to be honest you had barely slept in weeks. You were worried about Minho and had this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that you were running out of time.

You were brought out of your thoughts as the car was brought to a stop in front of a creepy cave.

"You're telling me that you expect up to go in there?" Newt asked, "Because if I were a crank, that is exactly where I would go."

"It's the only way," Thomas revealed.

"Okay then, that settles it, what are we waiting for?" you asked.

Frypan started driving slowly. So far so good. You pointed out a crank up ahead.

"It's only one, just drive slowly and go around it," Thomas instructed.

"Just drive around it," Frypan mocked under his breath.

Before you even reached the one, another one landed on your windshield. Then more and more began to surround you.

"Frypan get us out of here!" you shouted.

"Floor it!" Newt ordered.

Frypan did as told and all was looking up until another crank landed on the windshield and caused Frypan to crash, flipping the jeep in the process.

Thomas was the first one to get up, he crawled out of the jeep and turned back, "Are you guys okay?" He went and helped Newt get his door open.

"I'll get Y/n, you get Frypan. We need to get out of here before those things catch up," Newt instructed.

Newt went over to your side of the jeep and carefully shook you awake. "Y/n, are you okay?" he asked, trying to look for any visible sign of injury, which was hard with the position you were in.

"I think I'm fine."

Hearing this, Newt helped you out of the jeep and onto your feet. You waivered on your feet, and Newt steadied you, "Are you sure you're alright love?" he asked.

"I'll be fine Newt, but we have to get moving, can you grab the supply pack?"

Soon the two of you joined Thomas and Frypan who were searching for a way out, guns in hands trying to prepare to do this on foot. Before you could make it far though, you were surrounded by cranks. You were barely holding them off and were running out of ammo when a second jeep came barging through.....Jorge and Brenda.

The four of you were relieved to see them, even if Thomas would be the last to admit it. As soon as you made it out of the cave, you regrouped and came up with a new strategy.

You made it to the outer workings of the city by nightfall and started scouting out the situation. There were riots everywhere. "This is our way in" Thomas declared.

"Really Thomas? All of these people trying to find a way in? And you think you'll be able to find something they can't?" Jorge questioned trying to get him to turn back. You were starting to lag behind the others slightly, all of the yellings was not helping your headache. There was just so much going on. Once again, it was becoming hard to focus. Luckily for you, Frypan noticed and circled back to walk with you. "What the hell did we get ourselves into?" he asked.

"I don't know, but I hope we get out of it soon" you replied. Just then you heard this noise. Everyone shut up, turning towards the source. Suddenly, people started screaming and running. You were trying to figure out what was going on when the first missile was shot. You and Fry sprinted to the others and ran along with them. Missile after a missile was fired.

You continued running until these men with masks came. They grabbed Brenda, Jorge, and Thomas, securing them in a van. Then they attacked Fry two of them placing him in a second van. They started towards Newt when you punched on in the gut and knocked the other one out completely. You turned to make sure Newt was okay, but you were also grabbed.

When you arrived at your destination, everyone is forced to exit the vans. "Everyone relax, we are all on the same side here," one of the masked men speaks.

"What do you mean on the same side, who the hell are you?" Thomas demands. Then he removes his mask to reveal no one other than Gally.

"Hey Greenie," He says.

"Gally?" Thomas asks. Seconds later he nails him straight in the jaw knocking him to the ground. He goes to punch him again but Newt catches his fist. "He killed Chuck" Thomas justified emotion filling his voice. "I know, I remember, I was there too. But I also remember that he was stung and half out of his mind. Just calm down alright mate?" The guards all adjust their guns aiming them at Thomas.

"He's alright, I deserved that. Anyone else? Fry? Newt? Y/n?" Gally remarked gently feeling his jaw.

"How?" Newt asked in disbelief, "I-I watched you die?" he finished.

"No, you left me to die. And if it wasn't for us you'd be dead," Gally corrected.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"For Minho," You answered. "He's in the city. We are looking for a way in," you added.

"I can help with that, follow me" Gally replied.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Thomas spat.

"Suit yourself, but I'm the only one who can get you in that city" Gally answered. After a moment of thought, you all followed him. He explained how he got to where he was today.

He leads you to a room before the seven of you could enter he stopped. "He doesn't get many visitors, so let me do the talking. Also, try not to stare," he said as he turned the doorknob.

"Gally who are these people and why are they here?" an old man questioned.

"Gally said you know how to get through the walls, we need to get into WICKED," Thomas explained.

"Gally should know better than to make promises he can't keep. Besides the wall is only half the problem, getting into WICKED is impossible," the old man declared.

"There might be a way now, but it doesn't work without Thomas," Gally interjected.

"Well then," the old man said getting right in Thomas's face, "You know what I am Thomas, I'm a businessman. Which means I don't take unnecessary risks. Why should I trust you?" he continued.

"Cause I can help you get what you need," Thomas answered.

"What is it that you think I need?" the old man asked.

"Time." Thomas retorted.

"Is that what I need? Time? I'll tell you what two of you can go, but the rest of you stay here with me for insurance," the man deadpanned. "Do we have a deal?"

Thomas looked between you, Newt, Fry, Brenda, and Jorge. He then shook the man's hand. "Gally, show this gentleman the way." Before long, Gally was leading Thomas and Newt down into the sewers.

"Stay close we have a long way to go," he declared. Eventually, they made their way to a bus platform. Gally led them to the street. Newt and Thomas were amazed. Everything was so advanced, lighted, and tall. There was an announcement made that the curfew started in ten minutes. Gally led them away from the streets to a surveillance building. Here, he showed them WICKED. "It's a fortress, surveillance, and security on every floor," Gally remarked.

"I thought you had a way in" questioned Thomas.

"I do, but I never said you'd like it" Gally answered gesturing for Thomas to look through the telescope.

"No way," Thomas said. Reluctantly, Gally had decided they stayed long enough and brought the two gladers back to the Right Arm Headquarters.

You refused to leave the sewer entrance, ever since Newt and Thomas disappeared down it. You hated this part when you were left behind to worry having absolutely no idea where they were, or what they were doing. You wanted them here safe with you. Eventually, you got your wish as the three returned. You immediately embraced Newt and Thomas, so powerfully that you almost knocked them to the ground.

"Relax Y/n, we were only gone a few hours," Thomas laughed.

"Don't leave me behind next time," you pouted, "I was so worried about the two of you" you continued.

"We're alright Love," Newt said before you guys rejoined the others. Thomas and Newt explained what they had witnessed in the city. Gally explained his plan to use Teressa.

"You really think she'd help us?" Thomas asked.

"I wasn't planning on asking for her permission" Gally shot back.

"Am I missing something here, isn't this the same chick who betrayed us and left us all for dead?" Brenda asked hurt at Thomas's hesitation, "What's really going on here Thomas?"

"He's afraid his little girlfriend's going to get hurt," Newt said out of nowhere.

"This has obviously never been just about rescuing Minho has it?" Newt questioned anger clear in his voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"Teresa. She's the only reason Minho's missing in the first place. Cause now we finally have an opportunity to get him back and you don't want to because she might get hurt? Because you still care about her don't you? Don't lie to me. Don't. Lie. To. Me." Newt all but screamed in Thomas' face.

You got up and went to pull Newt back, to calm him down. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Newt said realizing what he had just done. He broke away from you and left. You followed him out onto the roof, Thomas right behind you. "I really am sorry about that back there," Newt said.

"You're fine Newt" you replied sitting next to him.

"I guess I can't hide this anymore," he said showing you his arm where black veins were beginning to form.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Thomas questioned.

"I didn't figure there was a point to it really," Newt replied. You were still staring blankly over the city trying to process what this meant.

"We can still fix this," Thomas tried.

"Don't worry about me, this is about Minho" Newt states.

"He needs us, so if there is even the slightest chance that we can save him we have to take it. No matter the cost."

Hearing that caused a tear to escape your eye. You got up and left not wanting them to see you cry. They called after you, but you persisted. You had closed yourself in your room. Against your wishes, you began bawling your eyes out. Your boyfriend was trapped inside WICKED. You had no idea where exactly. You had no idea what they were doing to him. For all, you know he could be dead. And now Newt was- he was- he has the flare.

#minho tmr #minho x y/n #tmr minho #newt #gally #teresa tmr #thomas tmr #the maze runner #the death cure

[cpd5021]

Crossing Lines - Chapter One

New multi-chapter story line, starting at the end of 7x18. The first part is basically a recap of the ending of that episode, from Hailey’s perspective. And then we go into her telling Jay, something we didn’t get to see on PD. I plan on having this go for 5, maybe 6, chapters depending on how it goes. I also, shockingly, laid out a plan for each chapter so I know where I’m taking it....something I have never actually done before 😂. I plan on this fic being pretty angsty, because lets face it, that’s how I roll but there might be some fluff scattered in eventually. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!!

I sat in my car, watching the red and blue lights flashing through the channels of rain running down my window. I watched the interaction between the officers and the driver of the vehicle, confusion evident on his face. I watched as they brought out the K9 to sniff around the car. But I didn’t need to watch to know what they would find. A part of me knew this was going to far, that this was wrong. Planting drugs, falsifying evidence, was not only immoral, it was illegal. My mind wandered back to a younger me, a fresh face to the Intelligence unit, wondering what that person would say if she could see me now. That Hailey would have never so much as thought of this scenario, let alone act on it, or actually go through with it. But here I was. I guess what they say is true, time can change people. I focused on the scene before me once more, watching the handcuffs going on and confusion mixing with anger as the man who had managed to evade the law for so long was finally going down. I started my car up and pulled away slowly, knowing the chain of events that would follow. Gael would be charged and Luis would hopefully get his deal. The damage to his and Vanessa’s relationship was done, but I knew she would feel a sense of relief knowing he wouldn’t take the full ride. Maybe that’s why I had done this, maybe the soft spot that had formed over the last few months for Vanessa is what led me to tonight. Maybe trying to help out a friend was enough justification to not make this so bad. Or maybe I just didn’t care anymore. 

I came to a stop at a flashing red light, having every intention to just go home and hope my plan fell into place like I was certain it would, when my phone buzzed in the seat beside me. I picked it up, glancing down at the name lighting up the screen. That was fast. 

We need to meet. Now. 

I forced out a breath as the words from Voight settled in. I knew it would happen eventually, I just figured I’d have more time first. But apparently the news of Gael’s bust had traveled quickly. With another sigh, I made a U-turn, angling myself to head back towards the precinct. 

The drive there was a blur as I steeled myself for what was to come. Voight, out of everyone, would know that something was off. Gael was too good at what he did to make a stupid mistake like this. And Voight was smart enough to know I was somehow involved, whether he knew the full extent or not. I parked my car and quickly got out into the cool Chicago drizzle, not wanting to linger any longer on this than necessary. As I trudged up the steps into the 21st, the reaction I received from Trudy should have been my first indication of what was to come. The second she laid eyes on me she turned her back and feigned interest in something on her computer. My head jerked back slightly at her reaction but I didn’t have time to push the issue. I quickly jogged up the steps and buzzed my way in. 

Without any delay, I strolled right into the bullpen, making a beeline for his office. Just as I reached the door frame, I forced myself to slow down, setting my shoulders back and wiping my face of any emotion before stepping in. 

“You wanted to see me?” 

Hank, who was leaning forward with his head resting against his palm, immediately sat up and shifted back in his seat to get a better look at me. 

“Shut the door.” 

Ah, so this definitely wasn’t going to go well. With a slight nod of my head I did as I was told, steeling myself for the conversation to come. I remained standing, hoping to keep this as quick as possible. 

“Sit down.”

Voight wasn’t having it and saw right through my attempts to keep this informal. I sat with a slight sigh, pursing my lips and trying to keep my emotions stoic. 

“I just heard from Becerra. Patrol found two keys of dope in the trap of Gael’s car. And she’s gonna use our wire to build the case. Should be a slam dunk.” 

I nodded slightly as he spoke. This is not information I should already be aware of, I briefly considered feigning surprise at his words, but I knew he would see right through that too. If I was here he already knew what I had done. I remained silent, waiting for him to continue. 

“Oh, and Luis, he’s gonna get the one year deal in exchange for corroborating evidence, so...”

Voight trailed off, watching my face closely. The later part of what he had just said was new to me. I had hoped that Luis would get the break but it wasn’t a guarantee. I gave a slight smile, one I knew didn’t reach my eyes and took a small breath before responding. 

“That’s great. Finally caught a break.”

I could play along with this charade for as long as he would allow it. A part of me hoped we could just leave it at this, but I knew I wouldn’t get that lucky. 

“Yeah.” 

Hank nodded in agreement, our facade continuing. We were nearing a breaking point though and I knew he wasn’t done with me yet. A silence filled the room as he continued to study my features. I stared right back, unwilling to waiver and back down from this battle. 

“So this is something we’re doing now?”

There it was. I knew we weren’t done. I knew he had figured it out, but I still wasn’t sure if he had put all the details together yet. I tilted my head questioningly, not trusting myself to speak, unsure if my voice would betray me. 

“Planting dope? Creating evidence?”

Nothing, and I mean nothing, got by Hank Voight. I knew this as a fact but it was still a calculated risk I had taken. 

“If product was found in his car, it was his own product.” 

I tried to justify my actions without fully admitting to them, hoping we could finish this little dance soon. 

“And you think that makes it better?”

He leaned forward now, closing the distance between us and causing me to swallow hard at the increased tension. 

“Gael got off easy. Luis deserved the deal.”

Once again, I defended my actions, coming closer to admitting what had occurred without actually voicing the words. I didn’t need to say it out loud, he already knew. He dropped his head, processing what I had said. 

“Hailey, I understand why you did it. I’m not stupid. But do you understand you crossed a line?” 

He understood because there was a part of me that had become more and more like him. I thought back to the younger Hailey once again and how far I had ventured away from that person. 

“Do you?” 

He pushed, waiting for my response. I didn’t have one, I couldn’t find the words to reply. So instead I let out a shaky breath, fighting to maintain my composure. 

“Hailey, the problem with crossing lines...you cross enough of them, you forget where they are. You don’t see them anymore.”

His words were hitting a nerve within me. Maybe because I knew he was right. Maybe because a part of me had become concerned about those lines myself and the fact that they had already blurred. 

“I’m seeing just fine, sir.” 

I spoke quietly, unsure of whether I was trying to convince him or myself. 

“Yeah, okay. Well take a look at this, New York’s FBI task force is looking for a loan out officer. I just signed you up.”

Of all the ways I had imagined this meeting going, all the things I had rehearsed in my head that he would say to me...that was the last thing I had expected. 

“What?”

I spoke before I could stop myself, before I had even fully processed what he had said. 

“It’s an assignment for a few weeks. Believe me, they do things different there. The lines, they are real clear.”

What he was saying, what he was doing, finally registered and something inside me clicked. I knew I should keep my mouth shut, be thankful I still had a job and that I wasn’t being arrested. But the thought of being sent away, from Intelligence, from Chicago...it broke something inside me and I exploded.

“I did the same thing you would have done.”

There was a part of me that hated what I had just admitted out loud. I never in a million years could have predicted that I would be in this situation, that I would have crossed the lines to get me here. I knew how Voight worked, hell, I respected it. His ways weren’t always straightforward or morally sound, but he brought justice to situations when the system failed. Before I could continue, although I wasn’t sure what would have come next, Voight exploded in front of me. He stood abruptly and shoved the contents of his desk onto the floor. I immediately felt the panic set in, the tightness in my chest and the struggle to breath. I wasn’t afraid of Voight, no, but the scene in front of me was one that was all to familiar. I instantly traveled back to my childhood, feeling less like a hardened detective and more like the scared little girl I once was by the second. I knew what was coming next, throwing things usually preceded yelling in my experience and, try as I might, I couldn’t get my walls up fast enough before it started.  

“I don’t want you to be me! That’s my job! Your job is to be you!”

He towered over me now, face reddened and veins throbbing along his neck. I felt myself shutting down, burying myself deep down into the hole I had fought so hard to crawl out of. I couldn’t speak, could barely breathe, and it was taking everything in me not to show my emotions. Luckily, after years of abuse, I had learned to hide them well. But his sudden outburst was pushing my limits to the brink. 

“Hailey, I’m starting to wonder if you can do it.” 

He spoke softer that time, his eyes drilling into mine. I scrambled to keep myself together, to keep my walls up. I refused to break down in front of him, to let him see what he had just broke inside of me. I focused on my breathing and swallowed down the burning in my throat. He gave me one last glare before shaking his head and moving to stand behind his desk. 

“Alright, Platt’s got the details. Flight leaves tomorrow. Have a safe trip.” 

And with that I was dismissed. I took a moment, trying to steady the trembling within me before I stood on shaky legs and made my way to the door. I pulled it open, my body functioning on autopilot, and walked quickly through the bullpen. I could feel the burning in my throat increase and knew I was on the brink of losing control. I swallowed hard as I approached the steps leading me back to Platt. I didn’t need to say anything for her to know why I was lingering. With a somber look, she reached under her desk and pulled out a manila envelope, handing it to me without a word. She looked like she was considering saying something, but the look in my eyes must have been enough to make her rethink it. I nodded my thanks and turned to walk out the doors. I kept my pace steady, one foot in front of the other, as I made my way to my car. I hit the key fob, illuminating my headlights in the slight drizzle and then climbed in, tossing the envelope onto the seat beside me. I gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles, my chest tightening once again. I forced another deep breath into my lungs, wincing as they burned in protest and started my car. I wouldn’t let myself loose it here. I could make it home first. 

I made it about two blocks before my body took over. Tears began to stream down my face and they quickly transformed into sobs. Through blurry eyes, I navigated off the roadway into a parking space along the sidewalk. My breathing was coming out labored as each inhale sent a fire coursing within me. I held onto the steering wheel for dear life as my emotions crashed over me, my body shaking with the force. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t gain control over myself no matter how hard I tried. I gave in eventually, realizing I wasn’t going to win and let the sobs rack through me. After what felt like an eternity, they began to slow. My breaths began to come easier and I no longer felt the tears running down my face. In fact, I felt nothing. My body had now shifted into autopilot mode. I was numb. I sat there for a few more moments, regaining the rest of my composure. I wiped at my face with my sleeves, glancing at my red rimmed eyes in the rear view mirror. My goal had been to make it home but suddenly that’s the last place I wanted to be. I debated my next location and a thought popped into my head that almost made me loose control again. Jay. I needed to tell him that I was leaving. I had watched first hand the mess he had been when Erin left and I refused to do that to him, even though they had been romantically involved and we were just close friends. I pushed down the thoughts that came racing to the forefront of my mind when I though of him, Vanessa’s words from the waiting room replaying in my head on repeat. No, that was definitely a line I wouldn’t cross. As if on cue, my phone buzzed once again from its spot beside me. I hesitantly glanced down at it and let out a breath when I saw Jay’s picture lighting up my screen. I took a deep breath and prayed my voice wouldn’t give me away before I answered it. 

“Hey..” 

Shit. My voice was hoarse and there was no doubt I had been crying. 

“Hailey? You okay?”

He was concerned. Of course he was. The man seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to reading me..well, most of the time anyway. 

“Yeah yeah...”

I tried to play it off but I knew he wouldn’t buy it. I could hear commotion in the back and hoped maybe he would be too busy to push the issue. 

“We’re all at Molly’s celebrating. Gael got popped, did you hear?”

Oh if he only knew. I debated agreeing to come up for drinks but I knew there was no way I would be able to play this off in front of my entire unit. And frankly, I didn’t have the energy for that anyway. But, I thought quickly, if I told him there then I would have an excuse to bail right after and he wouldn’t be alone. Plus, maybe his slight buzz would be enough to curb the edge of the bomb I was about to drop. 

“Sure, sounds good.”

I agreed and then quickly ended the call. With a deep breath, I shifted my car into drive and pointed towards the bar, rehearsing my conversation the entire way. I pulled into the lot and my bravado instantly faded. I couldn’t bring myself to go in so instead I pulled my phone back out and sent him a text. 

Hey, I’m in the lot. Can you come out?” 

This was weak, I knew it was. But there was no good way to deliver the news I was about to tell him and this seemed like the easiest option. His reply was instant and I got out to stand in front of my car as he came jogging towards me from the bar. His face held a smile that quickly faltered as he took in my appearance. I’m sure my face was still red from my breakdown and I could tell my eyes were a dead giveaway. He slowed as he approached, closing the gap and moving to lean beside me against the hood of my car. He crossed his arms, looking down at me and waiting for me to speak. 

“Hey Jay...”

My brain scrambled to find more words to say but the look in his eyes was throwing me off. He knew I was about to say something bad, he just didn’t know what. 

“Hailey...what’s going on?” 

He pushed, slightly impatient with the suspense I was unwittingly creating.  

“I’m going to New York.” 

Well...I could have done that better. Try as I might, I couldn’t form a better way to say it so instead I just blurted it out. I didn’t say it sadly, or harshly, in fact, my voice had been damn near monotone. But still, I watched as my words settled in, crushing him. He didn’t say anything and I let the silence hang between us for a moment before I continued. 

“Voight’s sending me. It’s a few weeks. But I’ll be back.”

I tacked on the last part as I watched him shutting down, shutting me out. I was sure I knew what was racing through his mind right now. Thoughts of Lindsay leaving and the destruction that had come in that wake. 

“Why?” 

His voice was hoarse and I knew he was holding something back. His tone was a mix of hurt, anger and confusion. All something I could easily identify with at the moment. 

“FBI task force needs a loan out officer.”

I dodged his real question, hoping that would be enough. It wasn’t. 

“Why?”

He repeated again and I knew what he was pushing for. Voight didn’t just send people away without reason and Jay was smart enough to put that much together at least. 

“He thinks....he thinks my lines are blurred and he wants to set me straight.”

I admitted weakly, shuddering as I said it out loud for the first time. Jay was someone who would always have my back and I knew if I gave him the full details that he would receive them without judgement, but I couldn’t bring myself to let him in on the full story yet. 

“What did you do?” 

His voice was quieter this time, his tone matching my monotone one from earlier. His question, or rather, the way he delivered it, threw me off though. There was a hint of accusation in his voice that struck a nerve within me. 

“What did I do?”

I repeated, shifting off the hood to face him directly. I thought Jay was someone who would have my back no matter what, but suddenly that was a fact I was doubting.

“He’s punishing you so it must have been something big. What did you do?”

Jay’s tone had shifted and he moved off the hood as well, lingering over me. His tone was angry now and it had me throwing up my walls for a second time tonight. 

“Nothing he would’t have done.”

I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest and squaring my shoulders back. I knew that his anger wasn’t directed at me per say, he was angry I was being made to leave, angry at Voight for sending me.

“Damn it Hailey...”

He trailed off, shaking his head. This was not the response I had expected and I wasn’t sure how to proceed. Suddenly, I felt as if we were at a turning point and if we both weren’t careful there would be some serious dents in our relationship afterwards. 

“My flight leaves tomorrow.”

I relayed that detail when I couldn’t find anything else to say. His eyes bugged out slightly as the new information settled in. He paced in front of me, avoiding my eyes as he looked anywhere but my direction. I let him have his moment, finding myself once again swallowing down the burn in my throat. 

“How long?”

He asked, movements stopping but still avoiding my eyes. I wasn’t oblivious to the distance his pacing had put between us but I didn’t want to push it.

“Um, three weeks, I think...I haven’t read the packet yet.” 

I all but whispered my response, watching his face change once again. The anger was gone now, but nothing had taken it’s place. His face was void of all emotion and the sight made the panic feeling return to my chest. 

“Okay. Have a good trip Hailey.”

And with that he turned away, slowly making his way back to the bar. I was frozen by his words and his abrupt end to the discussion. He was halfway across the lot by the time I could force anything from my mouth.  

“Jay.” 

I said, loud enough that he should have been able to hear me but if he did he didn’t respond. 

“Jay!” 

I tried again, practically yelling this time as the back of his figure came to the bars entrance, pausing briefly before dipping inside. As soon as he was out of sight, all the emotions I had shut down earlier came racing back. Now not only had I lost Intelligence, even if it was only for a brief period of time, but I also just lost Jay. Or at least, that’s what this felt like. Something in his eyes before he looked away told me I had hurt him by leaving, even though this wasn’t my choice it was a direct result of my actions and therefore definitely my fault. I came to the realization as my emotions came crashing back over me, that I would loose Intelligence in a heartbeat before I would lose Jay. Although it seemed as if, in one fell swoop, I had just lost both. I debated going into the bar after him but there was no way I was going to be able to compose myself any time soon and I couldn’t bring myself to walking in there in front of everyone, looking like a mess as my world crumbled around me. So instead, I climbed into my car and drove myself home. Once there, I dragged myself up the stairs, stripping my clothes off as I went, knowing Vanessa wasn’t home, and then stepped into the shower. I turned the water as hot as it would go, letting myself fall apart completely on last time before promising myself it wouldn’t happen again. 

#chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #halstead and upton #jay halstead #hailey upton #halstead #jay x hailey #upstead #upton

[flambazz]

You and I

Author: Balsam

OC pairing, M x F pair, Human x Non-Human

TW: Angels

The evening sun shone brightly against Cassie’s hair, which was shading the sleeping teen next to her. She smiled quietly, running a pale hand through the boy’s ginger hair. With the sun starting to go down and the air getting colder, Cassie carried the boy to his old weathered treehouse and covered him with one of the blankets she found there on the floor, even though he didn’t need one with all the layers he had on. She ran a thin finger down one of the many scars he had on him. Cassie could still remember the day when Will got that scar, and how afterwards he had asked for a friend to play with. Someone to help him not be as lonely and to protect him. And how her dad told her about this boy, about his unfortunate situation, and that she could help him by going down and playing with little Will. She remembered every time Will had asked to go play at her house, to play with her brothers and sisters and all her animals, and how she had to turn him down with the promise of a big sleepover on her birthday. Of course, her birthday and sleepover never came, but it never seemed to bother Will. He always just smiled and invited her to play with him, to have sleepovers or come to birthday parties with him and his family. No matter what, they were happy when they were together. And that’s what mattered to Cassie; that’s what always has and always will. 

She didn’t sit in the tree house for long, though, before Will’s mum called up to them in her sweet and song-like voice that she had made warm food, that they should come inside before they get sick. Cassie nodded down to his mum, then went to wake up Will. Shaking his shoulder lightly, she quietly called to him. “Will, wake up Will. Ma made us some food and I’m hungry.” 

Other than the rustle of the blanket from him turning over, Will didn’t respond. 

Cassie called again, a little louder this time. “This isn’t funny Will, wake up. You don’t want your Ma to be upset, do you?”

Will cracked open his eyes to look annoyedly at his friend sitting next to him, though he couldn’t hide his smile if he tried. “Alright, I’m up. Jeez you act like it’s the end of the world if I don’t wake up or something. What time is it, anyway?”

“It’s.. it’s uh…” Cassie looked at the shadows, then towards the sun, then back to the shadows. “It’s five-thirty-ish, I think. Your Ma made us some food.”

“O.K. then. We probably should go in. I’m hungry.”

Cassie smiled, and Will smiled back. And with all the seriousness of a Golden Retriever playing frisbee, Cassie leaned in and quietly said, “Race you down, Shorty.” With that, she started running down the ladder of the old tree house and reached the ground only to have Will jump out of the tree house and land on the ground in front of her, giggling like a maniac. The two of them rushed inside for dinner, happy. Almost, anyway. Cassie still had to tell Will the news that she was leaving for a while. She didn’t want to break her friend’s heart; she grew up with him after all, she was his only friend for his whole life. But now at she had to leave him. And in her heart she already could see the pain that Will would be in when she said what she needed to say. Maybe she could lie to him, just a little? Make the process softer on him so he wasn’t as upset. Cassie seemed so stuck in her head that Will started getting concerned for her. 

“Hey, Cassie? You doing O.K.? You seem pretty upset over something.”

Cassie snapped back to reality to find that she was the only one with food still left in front of her. “Huh? Oh… yeah I’m alright. I’ll tell you later though.” 

Will raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and got up to go fix his room, giving Cassie a hug on his way past and ruffling her hair.

Cassie sighed and put her head in her hands. Today had been too much for her; with the news that Will had been accepted to his new school, the movie they had watched. And now she would have to tell her best friend of eleven years that she has to go away for a while. She got up to give her plate to Ma, who gave her a worried look . 

“What’s eating at ya, sweetie? You’ve been like this for a few hours now.”

“Could I be completely honest with you, Ma’am?”

Ma smiled sweetly. “‘Course you can. Is there some boy trouble going on?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just that, well, I’m going away for probably a long time. I might not even be back. I suppose it’s just that I’ve no idea how to tell Will. We’ve known each other for eleven years, imagine how crushed he’ll be.” 

“May I ask where you’re off to, sweetheart?”

“I’m going home.”

Ma nodded and stopped washing the dish she was holding. Cassie brought her out into the backyard and handed her leather jacket to Ma. She carefully undid the harness holding down her wings and set that on the ground, stretching her golden wings out as far as she could. It was hard for her to even open them, having them pressed down for so long against her back. 

Ma, in her typical fashion, simply smiled at Cassie. “Do they hurt much?”

“Yeah, a lot actually.”

“Wait here for a spell, O.K.? I’ll be right back with something that might help.” Before Cassie could say anything, Ma was back in the house. 

Cassie smiled and slowly flapped her wings with no intent of flying. She was slowly getting some strength back to them, although moving them did hurt quite a bit. Maybe she could try something with Will though. Carefully, she looked through her feathers for one that wasn’t damaged, dirty, broken, or a baby feather. When she had found the perfect feather, she grabbed the base near her skin and pulled it out with a sharp tug. It hurt, sure, but not as much as she had thought it would. She silently put it in under her dress’s belt, being careful to keep it intact. 

The kitchen door opened suddenly, with Ma coming outside holding a bucket of hot water and some self-care tools. “I brought you some things so you can heal those up faster. For your trip home.”

“Thank you so much, for everything you���ve done. And although I wish I could stay, I don’t think that I can.” Cassie picked up one of the tools and started to pull out some of her damaged or broken feathers. “Would it be too much, do you think, if I asked you for one more favor before I leave here?”

“No, nothing you’ve ever asked is too much. What do you need?”

“Could you, um… could you bring Will out?” Ma nodded, setting down the things she brought with her to go find her son. Cassie sighed and took the feather from her belt. She started to clean it up a little, although nothing really needed to be done to it. 

The soft voice of her friend could be heard from the kitchen door, “Cassie? That’s you, right? Since when do you have wings?!”

“Yeah, it’s me Will. Please calm down. I don’t know if your Ma told you anything or not, but um… I’m leaving.”

“Where are you even going?” Tears swelled, falling down his cheeks and staining his jacket. 

In an attempt to stop Will’s crying, she tried bringing up a good memory to justify this sudden disappearance. “Do you remember how as little kids you wanted to come over to my house for a sleepover on my birthday? I’m going up to ask my dad if we can.” Cassie could see her friend start shaking. Not a lot, but it was definitely noticeable. And it broke her heart.

“But... you’ll be back! You’ll be back, right?... Right? You aren’t just gonna leave me here alone?” Will’s voice had started to waiver and crack, and his shaking got worse with every second passing by.

“Yeah…” Cassie started tearing up. “Yeah, I’ll be back. I wouldn’t just abandon you, Shorty, ever.” Will’s little chuckle made Cassie smile, even though she knew it was stressed. “And I’ve got something for you. So I can find you when I come back.” She held out the perfect golden feather to her friend, who took it gently and looked it over.

“This is yours? How will you find it again?”

“You’ll have to trust me about that, Will. I have to go now though.” Cassie walked up to her friend and gave him a hug. The kind you would give to a child after they had a nightmare. That’s what this was, after all, wasn’t it?

When Will pulled back and looked away from the hug, all that was left of Cassie was her jacket and the beautiful golden feather he was holding gently in his hand. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream, to ask why his best and only friend had to leave, to ask when or if she would be back. He wanted to with all his heart, but he couldn’t. All he could manage was to slip onto the ground. She had promised him she would find him again. Find the feather and him along with it, and take him with her. His mum sighed and went inside to make her son some warm drink to calm him down. 

Over the next few years, Will reacted to this loss about as well as would be expected. Every time he passed The Hideout and smelled the coffee coming from inside, he remembered taking Cassie there after she asked him what coffee was and if it was good. When he walked by Davey’s Park he got memories of the two of them playing in the creek, catching frogs or building stick castles. 

He got older; seventeen, twenty, thirty-three, forty-eight… still no Cassie. Could she have lied to him? Will shook his head and ran the tip of the now damaged golden feather through his fingers gently. Cassie had never lied to him in the time they knew each other, so why would the last thing she said to him be one? After nearly seventy years, he was surprised he could even remember Cassie. But there she was, stuck in his head so deep that if you asked him to he could probably draw her perfectly and accurately. He could hear the heart monitor slow it’s beeping, then stop.

From the hospital room door came the nurse with the news of his wife’s passing. “We truly did do everything to make her comfortable in her last moments, sir,” said the nurse.

“I understand, and she is probably happier now in any case.” He sighed and ran an old hand through his now grey hair and put the golden feather in his pocket so the nurses wouldn’t find it.

“We ought to get you back to your room now, sir.”

Will nodded and stood up to slowly make his way back to room 707. For hours after, he sat in his bed staring at the ceiling and listening to people talk in the halls. Evening came with a visitation period in tow, and instead of having nobody show up, there was a familiar voice in the hall.

“...unlock the door for me please, nurse. He’s my friend and I hold the right to visit him here.”

That was unmistakably Cassie’s voice he heard. She finally came back for him.

Cassie poked her head through the door before entering the room. “Hey there, Shorty.” She walked up to the hospital bed with silence.

A child-like smile broke across Will’s face. “Cassie, you haven’t aged a day.” Will reached out his hand.

Cassie chuckled and took it, her hand warm in his, sweeping a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “You’ve aged quite a bit of them. I wasn’t even gone that long, you know.”

“Sure felt like it. Most of my life in fact. I’m glad you found me though.”

“Me too, Shorty. Me too.” Cassie smiled and held Will’s old hand in hers which was still as it was when she had left. She slipped the old, broken, dirty feather and blew on it gently to remove the dirt. She pulled out one of her hairs and tied it first around the base of the feather, then tied the other side to Will’s wrist. “Ready to go?” Will smiled and nodded. Cassie closed her eyes and kissed his forehead, opening her eyes to the pair of them being somewhere very different. Instead of a dingy hospital room they were in they stood a field with lots of flowers of different colors, and a house that sat on a hill in the distance. Will looked about the same as when they were sixteen again, with of course the addition of a big pair of auburn wings. 

“So then this is where you live.” Will’s eyes were like a baby’s, staring off around him. He went to rub his shoulder, but his hand bumped into one of his wings. He opened it as far as he could while also trying not to hit Cassie’s wings, then opened the other wing, catching the wind and falling over. Cassie and Will giggled, and she put down her hand to help him up. A smile broke out across Will’s face. Finally, after all this time, it was like they were younger. Like when everything was perfect again. And this time, nothing was going to change. “So I just have one more question for you though. You gave me that feather and said it would help you find me. Does it work like a tracker does?”

Cassie shook her head. “No, silly. I love you and always have. You were always there for me and I was always there for you. And it’s pretty clear to me at least that the feeling was mutual, since you not only kept my feather but you waited for me. You remembered me. And we were meant to be a ‘forever’ thing, not a ‘until death do us part’ thing. That’s how I found you. The feather was to help you remember your end of my promise.” The two smiled like the kids they forever were and Cassie leaned in and quietly said, “Race you, Shorty.” And the two of them took off flying at breakneck speed to the house in the distance to make due on a promise.

#writing #fiction #tw angels #oc #original story #original work #m x f #oc x oc #original writing #flambazz

[buckys-forgotten-plum]

Who are We but Fragments of Each Other? {1/?}

Series Summary: Being the princess of a small, barely heard of country shouldn’t be too hard right? Other than the worry of being assassinated, what else is there to it? Just a brooding agent sworn to look after you day in and day out. 

Warnings: swearing (Always swearing), violence, slow burn, mediocre writing if we’re being honest here, slow updates (and that’s a fact!) 

A/N: Hello friends! Please bare with me as I continue on in my journey of writing a decently sized, decently written, fic on tumblr. If any of you have suggestions, ideas, helpful words of encouragement, a nice picture of a cat to help in my impending sadness, other prompts or drabbles, please don't be afraid to pop into my asks! 

Here we goooooooo~

----------------------------------------------

The office air was cool and still, it had been for a solid moment before a heavy sigh broke the silence, “Tony, we aren’t mercenaries. We don’t get paid to fight-”

“You aren’t getting paid to fight. You’re getting paid to protect a royal family who’s under attack from an unknown group of people who want to do whatever foreign attackers do,” Tony’s voice is just as cool as the temperature of the room, almost bored, as he justifies the reasoning for Natasha Romanoff’s next mission.

“How long are we gonna be there?” a deep, quiet voice sounds from the other side of the room.

Bucky Barnes was also put on protecting said royal family, he wasn’t excited.

“You both will be there for however long it takes you to find the people that attacked the family. You need to understand that, even though technically the entire family is in danger,” Tony speaks slowly as he pulls up a number of documents and pictures to display on the large screen in the small office, “There seems to be a targeted member, specifically Princess Y/n L/n. She’s next in line for the throne and was the main victim when this whole fiasco started,”

Bucky let out an audible sigh and pushed off the floor to ceiling bookshelf he was leaning against, “If this is a royal family, why don’t they just get their own military or guards to protect them?”

“Good question terminator,” Tony smirks, jabbing a finger in Bucky’s direction for emphasis, “Unfortunately, her guards were part of the attack, so this is an inside job, and you both need to be extremely careful with who you trust in to tell info to. I’m sending a few other agents with you so you won’t have to be everywhere at once but, just be careful. I’ll send both of you the full report and briefing file, your flight leaves tomorrow, blah blah blah please get out of my office so I can sleep.”

“Someone’s a little grumpy today,” Nat mumbles as she heads for the door, Bucky right on her heels.

“Morgan has a fever and I stayed up with her all night while she puked up about five pounds of dino nuggets,” The tired father grumbles back, fingers digging into his temples to relieve however much pressure possible.

The sound of Natasha’s chuckles fade as her and the burly soldier make their way out of Tony’s office, leaving him to nap away his exhaustion. 

========================

The cold was awful, long lasting and sinking deeper into your bones with every second that passed. You hated the winter. It didn’t matter the amount of layers you put on. As you stared at yourself in the mirror, your eyes matched the temperature of your skin, cold, almost lifeless. The gown that hung from your shoulders did little to keep what futile body heat you had, the itchy material adding to your discomfort.

“Princess, are you ready?” The gentle voice of a maid startled you out of the intruding thoughts.

“Yes,” 

You weren’t. You weren’t ready to allow a group of strangers to protect you. If you couldn’t trust your own guards, your own people, how could you let these outsiders into your home?

“They’ve arrived and your grandmother requests you come as quickly as possible,” Her tone was filled with pity, pity for you. 

“I’ll be right down, thank you. You may leave,” Your voice (thankfully) didn’t waiver as you dismissed the woman from your room.

When did this become your reality? Why were you being hunted for something you couldn’t control? You didn’t want this. You didn’t want the responsibility of ruling a country. You couldn’t handle the stress that came with it. As much as you hated to admit it, you were too soft, too fragile. The council was right, especially after the events that had taken place a fortnight ago. 

The sound of a car door slamming shut woke you from yet another failure to control your thoughts. A quiet sigh left your lips as you make your way to the main foyer. Your heart is hammering violently against your chest, there was a strange ache in your bones that went along with the ice. It didn’t take you very long to reach the entrance hall as you knew plenty of shortcuts to take. You spotted your grandmother standing patiently in the middle of the room, your sister and main advisor at her side. 

As you approach, she gives you a kind smile and holds her hand out for you to take, “Góðan daginn ducky, you look lovely” 

The nickname makes your heart warm, a tiny flame in the freezing cold that resides in you. “Góðan daginn Oma,” You take her hand in yours, the action provides little comfort as the doors to the castle open and a chilly breeze enters along with a group of rigid looking soldiers. 

Your frame is tense and a metaphorical wall seems to apparate around you. Your grandmother made a move to welcome the guests- no the intruders, into your home. 

“Agent Romanoff, Agent Barnes, thank you so much for agreeing to help us,” her accent was thick and you had a quick moment of wonder for whether or not they would understand her clearly. 

“Truly it’s no problem Princess Alda ,” The woman replied, bowing lightly in respect. 

Princess... The title left a sour taste in your mouth. Your grandmother was a queen, the most accomplished ruler in your countries history. She deserved more than just princess. 

“These are my lovely granddaughters, Princess Y/n and her younger sister Princess Freyja. They are very grateful of you to be here for us,” She smiles up at the two agents leading the pack, her eyes shining with glee. 

Your grandmother was too hopeful for her own good. 

“velkominn, thank you so much for coming,” Your sister jumps into action, Freyja was always too excited to meet others, the confines of the castle always making her anxious, just like you. 

Agent Romanoff greets her softly, bending down to her height and offering a hand to shake, Agent Barnes decides to stay silent and only responds with a small nod. You decide to stay stoic, silent as the two heads stare at you expectantly. There is an awkward moment of stillness before your Oma glares at you and you have no other choice but to dip down into a curtsy. 

“Thank you for coming,” You mutter, wasting no time in standing back up straight, head held high. 

Again, the woman is the only one to properly respond to your actions, and you can’t help but shoot a quick glance at the man. 

How rude. 

“We should start discussing the arrangements, if you don’t mind Princess Alda,” Agent Romanoff speaks, her tone even and professional. 

“Just Alda is fine, miss Romanoff,” Your grandmother nods and gestures for the group to follow her, “This way my dears,” 

The study in which the meeting takes place wasn’t exactly built for this many people. It was small and old just like the rest of the castle, and completely incapable of comfortably holding the group of twelve that now crowd into it. Your grandmother, sister, and self stand behind the desk as the others gather before it. Agent Romanoff takes it upon herself to be the first to sit, manners be damned. 

“Agent Barnes and I have read over and discussed the situation thoroughly,” she begins as your grandmother also sits, you and your sister remain standing, “We understand that you believe your family is under attack, is that correct?” 

Your grandmother nods silently, miss Romanoff takes that as a sign to continue, “We’ve been hired to protect your family, which is a reasonable request, but we noticed when looking over the report and evidence, that the attack was focused on the eldest princess,” 

You immediately notice the shift in the room, feel your Oma tense at the confession, hear the gasp that left your sisters mouth, “Haddi, take Freyja to her room,” You speak before you can stop yourself, your voice comes out stern and you notice a light waver. 

“But Y/n-” “Now!” You cut off the younger princess and the advisor makes a quick move to usher her out of the room, “How dare you say such a thing in front of a child,” you bite. 

“I was just trying to explain to you the situation-” your eyes narrow at her words as you interrupt once again, “Explain to me the situation? I was there. I know the situation. What is important is how we’re going to stop it from happening again,” 

“Princess, I understand your stress-” “You seem to understand nothing Agent Romanoff,” You spit out in frustration. 

This woman... Thinking she knows what you’re feeling. Ridiculous. 

“That’s enough ducky. Let the woman talk, girl.” Oma’s voice is stern, the tone she only uses before you go too far with your words.

Agent Romanoff continues to go over the situation, what precautions her team, as well as the family, will have to take. Much to your grandmother's dismay, one of those precautions was making the entirety of the castles staff go on leave.

“They can’t be trusted due to the men who carried out the attack,” she says.

 She talks about the possible suspects and the possible reasonings for their actions (though you thought it was quite obvious). You wait patiently for the discussion to end, biting your tongue at every word the woman said. You were holding on by a thread and it was quickly fraying away with each passing moment. A few of the other agents decided to busy themselves with looking around the room, gently picking up random objects to inspect them before putting them back down in their original places. It made you nervous, especially when one agent decided to pick up a vase that was from some old chinese dynasty that you couldn’t exactly remember, though you knew it costed more than a few college tuitions worth, and almost dropped it before catching it clumsily and hurriedly put it back on its pedestal. 

“We’ll be looking after the princess ourselves, ensuring she’s safe at all times, our other agents will be securing the property-”

 “You need to assign someone to Freyja and my Oma,” You say vehemently, your eyes focusing on the two agents in front of you, “I may be the supposed target but they are my family and they need to be just as safe as I am,” 

Agent Romanoff stays silent, her eyes failing to show any emotion as she stared at your equally hard gaze, “Unfortunately princess, Barnes and I are specifically assigned to you.” 

“I don’t care. Change the assignment, You need to protect them,” Your blood was boiling, the thought of these people coming in and not even thinking about protecting your little sister and grandmother was ridiculous. 

The fiery haired woman sighed quietly and looked up at you with pursed lips, “I understand where you’re coming from, but we can’t leave you unattended. That being said,” she pauses and glances at her silent partner, “I think that Agent Barnes may be able to look after your sister, and one of our other agents could ensure the safety of your grandmother,” 

You mulled over the solution for a moment. Agent Barnes had said nothing this entire time and it honestly gave you an extremely uneasy feeling, you didn’t trust him with your little sister. He was too menacing for you to comfortably allow him to watch over the young girl who was known for how carefree she was. 

“I would be more comfortable if you were to look after her, Agent Romanoff,” your voice came out quieter this time, “please,”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” 

Before Agent Romanoff has time to speak, Agent Barnes beats her to the punch. The brunette broke his silence as he stood up from the plush cushions of the chair, his startling blue eyes roamed over his environment before landing on you. “I’ll look after you and Natasha will look after the others, no harm will come to the residence of this castle,” he spoke precisely, almost like he had rehearsed before he decided to speak, “Everyone clear out and start searching the grounds for anything out of the ordinary, bugs, cameras that aren’t listed... anything,” his gruff voice sent your hairs to stand on end and your whole body tensed in stress before relaxing with the meaning of his words. 

“Thank you, Agent Barnes,” you murmur quietly, your gaze only strong enough to hold a moment with the tall man across from you. 

The agent only spared you a quick nod before turning to you grandmother, “Back to the previous topic, we don’t know who’s behind this, therefore, the safest route of action is to put all castle staff on a momentary leave until we can figure out who did this,”

Her crinkled eyes widen in slight shock, “Don’t you think that might be a little excessive?” 

“Unfortunately no, at this point in time, there’s no telling who could have attacked the princess,” There was a silent pause as the room grew quiet between its four inhabitants. 

There was an uneasy buzz that krept its way up your back, the muscles tweaking and flexing as you ignored the incessant need to scratch the buzz away. You knew it wouldn’t be a good idea as the stitches still hadn’t healed fully and it would hurt like a bitch if you did. 

“Oma, we’ll be fine. The staff deserve a vacation,” you comment, lightly placing your hand on the delicate material of her dress. “I’m sure you can handle brewing your own tea for a bit,” 

The elder smiles fondly towards you and gives a small nod of agreement, “If that’s all agents, I’d like to get back to work,”

The two remaining outsiders award her quick farewells and leave the room. Before you get to the door to leave your grandmother alone to her own devices, the demure tone of her voice stops you, “Ducky, my love, please be respectful to those agents while they’re here. You know in that stubborn head of yours it’s for the best,” 

Your chest tightens in annoyance at her words, the feeling only growing stronger as you realize the truth behind them, “Yes Oma, I know,” 

“Good. Now, please go busy yourself and try not to pester than nice man too much,” she sings over her shoulder as she looks out the window, giving you a view of the young and jovial queen that still resides somewhere inside her.

You couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at your lips as you opened the door and exited the study. Leaning up against the outer wall, you sigh quietly, taking a moment to gather yourself and think of all that has happened in just the span of a few hours. Once your thoughts were a little more calm, you gathered yourself and began the journey back up to your room. You truly just wanted to sleep at this point. 

A familiar shiver runs up the curve of your spine as a menacing shadow encases your smaller frame and a deep baritone covers the weak gasp that left you.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

#Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #marvel #marvel fic #MARVEL FANDOM #captain america #Winter Soldier #reader insert #bucky fandom #female!reader #bucky x female reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #PrincessAU #Marvel Universe #tony stark #iron man #Steve Rogers #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #james barnes #b.b. #bucky #barnes #bucky barnes fic #Plum's Masterlist

[thereturnofthedirtyblog]

Ghost Adventures: Zak Bagans and crew investigate extreme Halloween haunt in season premiere – Monsters & Critics 

27th February 2019 by Diana Price

The Ghost Adventures crew kicked off their 16th season Saturday night, but instead of visiting a creepy historic mansion or asylum, they set up their latest paranormal investigation in a fairly new haunted Halloween attraction in the middle of the desert near Las Vegas.

If you’re thinking that can’t be creepy, just go watch a Martin Scorsese film. God only knows how many bodies are buried around there.

Enter Zak Bagans and his merry band of Ghost Adventurers, bringing their arsenal of paranormal gadgets for two of the three buildings on this sinister campus: the Coven of 13 and the Gates of Hell. The third building, with a vampire theme, allegedly has no paranormal activity so there wasn’t much point poking around in there. You know, the Ghost Adventures crew just focused on the two buildings with the satanic symbols all over them in the middle of nowhere. So you’ve got not one, but two creepy locations, four paranormal bros, an isolated location with no help for miles, and as an added bonus, a former employee reports a history of after-hours Satanic rituals and Ouija board sessions on the site.

Oh yes, and the Trilogy of Terror haunt is one of the few locations in the country that does extreme haunts once a year where guests sign a waiver allowing themselves to be touched and “tortured” by staff.

Even without any supernatural influence, bear in mind that means you are dealing with a group of people that don’t particularly have a problem with maybe pushing boundaries a little farther than necessary.

Hey, that all sounds like a grand idea. What could possibly go wrong?

Needless to say, spoilers follow except the part where Aaron has to go into something especially creepy by himself. That’s pretty much a given every episode of Ghost Adventures, isn’t it Zak?

The paranormal activity starts even before lockdown

While the Ghost Adventures crew was still interviewing former employees, the paranormal activity started right away with a couple of EVP’s and their cameraman being touched on the back while Bagans experienced extreme back pain that came out of nowhere.

In a chain-link fence maze in the Gates of Hell, investigator Aaron Goodwin picked up “Trinity” on the spirit box as well as “it’s an animal.”

Because the Gates of Hell attraction is marked with the numbers 666, the Ghost Adventures gang believed it was referring to the Unholy Trinity.

After moving on to the Coven of 13 building for another interview, the activity continued much to Zak’s surprise.

“I was not expecting this level of activity, but when dealing with evil forces, everything is unpredictable.”

While Bagans interviewed a former employee who was telling him about a room covered with occult symbols, Goodwin went to do a spirit box session in another part of the building.

What ensued may be the longest profanity bleep in TV history. It turns out that an animatronic witch with its sensor removed came to life and popped out screaming at Goodwin. Let me repeat, the sensor had been removed by an employee for the Ghosts Adventures investigation, so there was no reason for it to trigger. Some Ghost Adventures fans may have laughed at his reaction, but that witch was one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen or heard.

Aaron, I want you to go in there alone

The Ghost Adventures crew also talked to a local Satanist before starting their lockdown and while they were in the room covered in occult symbols, Goodwin’s phone triggered Siri to ask “Did you accidentally summon me?”

No, that’s not creepy. Not at all.

While that is pretty compelling evidence, it doesn’t exactly justify sending poor Aaron back into the building later that night for a solo session. Yep, once again, Bagans’ sends Goodwin in by himself.

In fact, Zak even mocked the people who always make fun of how he sends poor Aaron in alone any time at paranormal investigation gets a little dangerous or super scary.

In all seriousness, when Goodwin turned the corner to the hall where that witch was waiting in the dark, I had to give a lot of props and respect for him being able to walk past it by himself. The fact he turned on a flashlight doesn’t take away from his bravery one bit in my book.

I’ve sat in the dark, alone, in places that had alleged paranormal activity, and I can tell you my first reaction to seeing that witch? If it had been me, I would’ve been saying, “Oh, hell no!”

You are a brave man, Aaron Goodwin.

Parting words for the Ghost Adventures crew

When Ghost Adventures pulled out a word generating device in the room with occult symbols, only one word came through — salvation. Out of a few thousand words possible in one of these devices, is it a coincidence that it picked out a word related to religion that might be a way to combat the alleged dark forces at the Freakling Bros. Trilogy of Terror?

You decide.

Bagans made one last attempt to have Goodwin do an extreme paranormal investigation activity when he tried to get him to get inside a bathtub of blood. I’m pleased to say Goodwin refused. You go, Aaron! Zak and company also picked up some SLS stick figures, unexplained noises captured on cameras around the two buildings, and a chainlink gate slamming without explanation. Oh, yes, and the words “evil lamb” on another device. Did the Ghost Adventures crew run into something paranormal and even demonic? Or was it just their imagination? Once again, you decide — and comment below.

New episodes of Ghost Adventures air on the Travel Channel Saturday nights at 10 pm ET.

#HauntedParaClassics

#submission #zakbagans #ghost adventures #ghostadventures

[sarcasticcynic]

Last week, Congressional Republicans and Democrats were wrangling over what should have been a bipartisan farm bill. Everyone agreed on the basic provisions, but Republicans--with Trump’s full-throated support--decided they also wanted to slash the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program (food stamps), to make its work requirements even harsher. Democrats declined to agree with this, which threatened to derail the legislation.

After Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue met with House Republicans, however, they agreed to compromise, and the bipartisan farm bill then passed easily. Well, now we know what Perdue said to persuade them: he promised that, if they passed the farm bill without the SNAP cuts, the Trump administration would proposed new regulations to accomplish pretty much exactly what Congress refused to do. And the administration has now done just what it promised, proposing new rules that will “cut off basic food assistance for hundreds of thousands of the nation’s poorest and most destitute people” -- 755,000 people, by the administration’s own estimate.

Present Law

Let’s start with the basics: SNAP provides an average of “about $1.40 per person per meal” in food assistance. That’s the massive amount of public assistance that conservative Republicans and Donald Trump begrudge the poorest of Americans who can’t find work.

SNAP generally requires “Able-Bodied Adults Without Dependents” (ABAWDs) to work at least 80 hours a month in order to receive food stamps. Looking for work doesn’t count, no matter how bad unemployment may be. For ABAWDs who cannot find enough work, SNAP limits benefits to a maximum of three months out of every three-year period. This hits minorities hardest, because minority unemployment rates are almost always higher:

“People of color would be at particular risk, given their much higher unemployment rates and continued racial discrimination in labor markets. As noted, the African-American unemployment rate has long been roughly double the non-Hispanic white unemployment rate. Studies have found that white job applicants are much likelier to receive callbacks after job applications or interviews than equally qualified Black applicants.”

Because this rule is rather harsh, SNAP also allows states administering the program to seek temporary “waivers of this three-month cut-off in areas where jobs for these individuals are lacking, such as when unemployment is elevated.” Waivers are available “in areas that have an unemployment rate of over 10 percent or a lack of sufficient jobs for ABAWDs to meet the work requirement.” Waivers are also available “in areas with unemployment rates that are at least 20 percent greater than the national rate”; for example, if the national average were 4%, a 4.8% local unemployment rate would be 20% higher.

“Since the 1996 welfare law took effect, every state but Delaware has sought a time-limit waiver at some point.” At present:

“36 states ... currently waive at least part of their SNAP populations from the existing three-month limit for able-bodied adults without dependents to receive benefits within a three-year period if they’re not working at least 80 hours a month.”

Republican Reaction

Conservative Republicans have decided that states are too lenient when it comes to securing waivers for the poorest Americans. They want to make work requirements stricter, and crack down on these waivers. Congress just refused to do that, but the Trump administration has never had a problem “pursuing through executive powers what it could not achieve in Congress”:

“Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue tipped his hand on how the administration plans to assuage House conservatives who wanted stricter SNAP work requirements in the final legislation: Once the bill passes, USDA will issue a proposed rule to crack down on work-requirement waivers. ... Perdue said the rule will appeal to conservative lawmakers who are frustrated that House Republicans came up short in their push for stronger work requirements for millions of Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program recipients.”

And sure enough, the administration has done just that:

“The Department [of Agriculture] has determined that the standards for waivers must be strengthened so that the ABAWD work requirement is applied to ABAWDs more broadly. ... The Department proposes stricter criteria for ABAWD waiver approvals that would establish stronger, updated standards for determining when and where a lack of sufficient jobs justifies temporarily waiving the ABAWD time limit. ... Limiting waivers would make more ABAWDs subject to the time limit and thereby encourage more ABAWDs to engage in meaningful work activities if they wish to continue to receive SNAP benefits.”

Proposed Law

The proposed rule completely eliminates the most commonly used bases for waivers. The primary change is an across-the-board denial of waiver in any area where unemployment is below a certain floor. (Current law has no such minimum.) The floor would function as an absolute cutoff regardless of how much higher local unemployment is than the national average, or how hard it actually is to find work, or whether an ABAWD belongs to a group with a statistically higher-than-average unemployment rate, e.g., minorities or people without lower education. These are all valid considerations under current law, but not under the proposed changes.

The Trump administration is thinking a floor of 7%, but might decide to make it even higher based on the higher number of current participants that would now be completely barred from getting waivers no matter what:

“The Department requests feedback on which unemployment rate floor – 6 percent, 7 percent, or 10 percent – would be most effective at limiting waivers. ... Based on the Department’s analysis, nearly 90 percent of ABAWDs would live in areas without waivers and would be encouraged to take steps towards self-sufficiency if a floor of 7 percent was established. In comparison, a 6 percent floor would mean that 76 percent of ABAWDs would live in areas without waivers and a 10 percent floor would mean that 98 percent of ABAWDs would live in areas without waivers.”

The administration is also eliminating other criteria upon which waivers can be based under current law, including: “a low and declining employment-to-population ratio, a lack of jobs in declining occupations or industries, or an academic study or other publication(s) that describes an area’s lack of jobs,”  as well as factors like “a historical seasonal unemployment rate over 10 percent.” Now none of those will make any difference, and none can ever support a waiver request.

The new rule will also completely bar states from seeking statewide waivers, as they can under current law. There are various other changes as well, all adding up to the same thing: accomplishing the administration’s stated goal of denying SNAP assistance to as many people as possible:

“The Department has estimated the net reduction in federal spending associated with the proposed transfer rule to be approximately $1.1 billion in fiscal year (FY) 2020 and $7.9 billion over the five years 2020-2024. This is a reduction in federal transfers (SNAP benefit payments); the reduction in transfers represents a 2.5 percent decrease in projected SNAP benefit spending over this time period. ... Under current authority, the Department estimates that about 60 percent of ABAWDs live in areas that are not subject to a waiver and thus face the ABAWD time limit. Under the revised waiver criteria the Department estimates that nearly 90 percent of ABAWDs would live in such an area. Of those newly subject to the time limit, the Department estimates that approximately two-thirds (755,000 individuals in FY 2020) would not meet the requirements.”

Will It Work?

The $7.9 billion-dollar question: Will denying basic nutrition to these hundreds of thousands of ABAWDs help them find jobs, as conservative Republicans and the Trump administration claim?

Of course not. There is no evidence that kicking people off of food stamps ever helps them obtain jobs, and plenty of evidence and analyses to the contrary:

“This is not how the relationship between public assistance and private commerce actually works, as policy experts and economists and poor people and food bank managers and job training professionals have all been saying for years.”

Not that the Trump administration has ever cared about things like evidence.

CAVEAT: The original article is from Think Progress, which is heavily left-biased. That is why this Tumblr entry quotes liberally from the proposed rule itself. Feel free to verify.

#Food Assistance #SNAP Basics #Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program #SNAP #Donald Trump #economy #food stamps #Paul Ryan #politics #poverty #Sonny Perdue #Trump #President Trump #Ryan #Speaker Ryan #Perdue #Secretary Perdue #USDA #Department of Agriculture #U.S. Department of Agriculture #Center on Budget and Policy Priorities #CBPP

[safrona-shadowsun]

Ghosts on the Harbor

{Writing between me and @renwyck in Discord that was...a long time in coming. Thank you for reading if you do. }

The sun slipped down to the horizon on Stormwind's Harbor, ships fully stocked, most waiting to sail at first dawn with fresh cargo. The sailors second-guessed their thought about inviting Renwyck for a round, not keen on hearing about his drunken woes of the lost Sin'dorei redhead he pined over. Most groaned, didn't believe him, some were left yearning to find their own woman for the night. Some had teased that he drunkenly stumbled on a nest of Naga Sirens, and insisted he needed some help. But all left the former Watcher with his late dinner tonight, to watch the sun set in peace. ...or so he had thought.

Reality seemed to tear right in front of Renwyck as the dark form of a Void Elf stepped through, a mere silhouetted shape with points of otherworldly light fixed in its starry darkness. As the tear would close behind it, the Dark would melt away from the muted lavender of her skin tone, the deep, burgundy red of her long braid, loosely falling down to her waist. Absinthe eyes now set with glinting amethyst pupils stared unblinking on him. The Void Courier. "You know," Safrona started, wine lips faintly curved to a ghost of a smile. " it can be dangerous to speak a name so many times, especially to so many ears. You might actually get the thing to appear." The smile faded as she gazed in silence on Renwyck in the flesh now, the familiarity of those chestnut brown eyes, now barren of their light. "Hello, Wyck." The faint echo of the unnatural accompanied a now somber tone.

The human's eyes drew wide in horror as the vision appeared, Renwyck stumbling backwards only to run into a large stack of crates left on the pier. His heart fell to his stomach, each beat twisting his innards into a nauseating lump. His hands clawed at the cargo as he attempted to catch his balance for fear of falling from the wooden planks to the sea below. His face remained fixed on the image of Safrona, his hands trembling, yet he managed to stay upright. Was it truly her? Or was another late evening of whiskey getting the best of his addled mind. No... It can't be... Safrona watched like a rock as the former Watcher...well. Made a fool of himself. A part of her, voices that latched to her sadism, enjoyed the sight of him cowering. This mortal boy that had dug into the walls of her heart, forced them open like a stubborn whiskey, and then left it on the floor of her being, stabbed with lies of loss, then abandonment. ₕₑ ₛₕₒᵤₗD Bₑ ₐFᵣₐᵢD. Wₕy dₒₑₛ ₜₕₑ bₒy ₚᵢₙₑ ₙₒw? Wₑₑₑₑₐₖ. ₕₑ ₘₐdₑ yₒᵤ ₛₒ wₑₐₖ. A breath swelled in her chest, Safrona casting a gaze out to the roving ocean with her deceptive calm. ₗₒₒₖ. ₕₑ wᵢₛₕₑₛ ₜₒ fₗy ₐgₐᵢₙ. Gᵢᵥₑ ₕᵢₘ ₜₕₑ fᵣₑₑdₒₘ ₒf ₜₕₑ Dₑₚₜₕₛ. ₚₑᵣₕₐₚₛ ₕₑ wᵢₗₗ ₑₙⱼₒy ₜₕₑ wₐₜₑᵣy gᵣₐᵥₑ.

Drawing her eyes closed, she rose a moment later, smoothly moved toward the toppled crates. Leaning down near the panicking Renwyck, she put her focus to trying to set his mess right, though the crate was much too heavy for her to move alone. "Are you...quite done? Gods...Renwyck..." the sigh unraveled on her breath as she shut the 'passenger voices' in her mind back behind their door. "How," he muttered weakly, a slight waiver in the single word. All further attempts of speech caught in his throat, his breath strained by the churning of his stomach. But it was her. It was actually her. He had dreaded the moment that their paths would cross again, but the form before him turned the dread into a chilling fear. 'What have I done? What have I done?' The pained words echoed in his mind. He pried his gaze from her, a deep sense of shame not allowing him to look upon her face. He stood motionless, the broken man resigned to accept whatever fate his beloved deemed appropriate. His life was penance for how he had wronged her. It only seemed fitting that she should decide his ultimate punishment. A thousand thoughts ran through her mind as the quick, shaky question of "How?" still rung in the air for her. The detail of another bump of change in the road of her multifaceted life was on the tip of her tongue, another hurdle in her twisted existence she wanted to confide in…someone. But these were explanations that he did not deserve. He had left her. Alone. In a world of fire, of of demons, of loss, and vengeance, without him. Her teeth clenched, trying to fight the tear he reopened in just seeing him. It was important to be still, not reach, not knowing if she wanted to embrace him, or drain the rest of his soul until his heart stopped against her. "I...have been watching you a while. Out here. It took me days to just--" His refusal to look at her started an ire in her heart that was burned by his silence. How did one touch something so deeply and then leave it alone with their mark?! "LOOK AT ME, Gods damn you!" Her bellow stretched out between physical reality and the Void, entrenched in a sorrow that came flying back at her, setting her breaths to quicken. She could feel the tendrils in her hair writhe, eager to strangle, to cause something pain. "You've been silent all along. You gave me NOTHING. Well, now I am here.” She shook her head slowly with a soul-scorching glare. “Don’t you DARE make me feel that I am not." His focus snapped back to her face, his features paling as her words pierced through his very soul. He drew in a quick, trembling breath in an attempt to steel his frayed nerves. His eyes silently pleading with hers, he managed to find his voice. "What do you want me to say?" He spoke timidly, though a burning rose in his chest with each syllable. "No words could justify the pain I've caused you." Safrona paused, the wave of her ire receding in the face of his admittance. He was admitting his wrong. It was a start. She knew that he could not be blamed entirely. Something had traumatized the man to give him this paleness, to give him his haggard appearance, to kill the light and life in his eyes. To lay him low here, stripped of his Watcher pride. This was a man broken, and haunted. Like so many on Argus. "...I could not find you,” she whispered, a finger stabbing into her own chest.  “Me. A...courier, and...you would not let me find you. That, that is where the pain is." She lowered her tones to a tight whisper of, “Why? Tell me.” The slight shift in Safrona's demeanor seemed to ease his rolling stomach. He hadn't spoken to anyone about what happened after the fall of Darkshire. But he owed her that much. Nodding slowly, he started to speak. "I was found near death on the border of Duskwood. A field medic and his young granddaughter. They took me in... Saved my life." The three words were bitter in his mouth. "When I had enough strength to sit up, they helped me pen that letter to you. I was afraid to relay my location in fear that my..." Renwyck paused, closing his eyes to take another breath. After a moment, turned his attention back to the elf. "For fear that the Night Watch would intercept the letter and finish the job. I couldn't put the people who showed such kindness to a stranger in harm's way." With a deep sadness in his eyes, he nearly took a step toward her, but hesitated. Keeping distance between them, he shook his head. "Months dragged on before I was recovered enough to leave them. Months of being confined to a bed with the memory of what happened in Darkshire haunting my every minute." The void elf was quiet, eyes downturned, taking in each hard word Renwyck could manage at her demand. The silence continued to stretch from her afterward for a few paralyzing minutes, moments where it seemed she was thoroughly done, ready to turn heel, to leave him with no words as he did for the past two years. But slowly, Safrona eased down to make a rest of a nearby crate, leaning against it. The strength seemed to have left her, leaving her looking quite delicate, as opposed to the darkening ire she approached with just a moment before. "...I did not think for a moment you joined their slaughter. But...many nights I imagined you sacrificing yourself. Just trying to protect your people. Still." Her voice grew softer with her remembered lament. "...I had nightmares each night that the demons breathed my name when they cut you down. I felt for a long time I brought them to your door. I...wanted to rip out each tainted, corrupt soul that smashed into Azeroth. But..in that insanity, living off the dark grace of soulstones when I threw myself at them? I knew nothing I could do would bring you back." Eyes flitting back up to Renwyck's face, the slight sourness returned to her expression. "Even...after you sent me the letter, I mourned. I buried you in Westfall, with your cloak, your clasp, and I nailed my heart shut. Tried to move on." A deep exhale, words now unfurling on her breath as she folded her arms across her chest. "...I have never returned to Duskwood. All I can see are possible cultists, wearing your Watch's colors." With a slow nod, his gaze followed her. His entire frame wilted with her words, but he didn't dare look away. He struggled internally, his mind and heart both fighting for control in a frenzy of emotion. "You... you did right to bury me." There was so much more he longed to tell her, but nothing would right his wrongs. Instead, he continued as a few silent tears fell. "I died that day..." "No..." she whispered, tears too, welling in her eyes as she gazed on him. Tears spilling for the sad, hollow shape of a man he had become. "It is easy to die. People do it every day." "You...you have only changed. And you are here. So, you must live." He couldn't. He couldn't look on her as she cried. It rended his heart from his chest knowing that he couldn't hold her. He had given up that right years ago. Bowing his head, his eyes snapped shut in a fruitless attempt to quell his own tears. "That is my punishment," he whispered, his voice breaking with the weight of his suffering. "To live a life that I gave up long ago..." Safrona came forward, a slump of foot to foot, not knowing quite what she wished to do once she was there, standing before the broken man. She had words, but her hands did not know what to do but clench into her garments. "Life...lived as a ghost is no life worth living. Believe me, I know." Voice dropped to another whisper, tremulous. "You taught me it could be more...And...I do not hate you for that." The sound of her approach caused Renwyck to look up. His entire form trembled, fighting to hold back the flood of anguish that threatened to overtake him. "I'm sorry... I wasn't strong enough... I--" He only barely kept himself from speaking it aloud. 'I love you. I never stopped loving you. And it kills me that I can't say it. I can't live like this Saf... I just can't...' A sudden gasp of breath shuddered with a sob as the broken human buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he managed to whisper through the tears. "I'm sorry..." "....I know," she spoke with quiet reserve, though she did not know the anguish in his mind, what went unsaid.  There was an acceptance here regardless, but one that had grown cold to let the grieving pass, to grow beyond it. "I...forgive you.” She admitted with her cooled wisdom. “But it won't matter if you can't be strong enough to forgive yourself." A business card was gently left on the crate she had leaned on, back turning to him, her voice taking back up its professionalism. "I am never far now in this city. We can talk more, when...if you wish to." She knew somehow she would not see him again. Something broke in him just at the sight of her. Things would never be the same. They could not be. Maybe it was a sign from the beginning, she had been no good for the sweet, easy to love Watcher Darrow. Silently, she said her goodbye, began to walk away, but her words were different, the offering of at least, a truce. "A courier is always here. And...I am glad you live, Mr. Darrow."

{ Goodbye, Safwyck. I loved writing this coupling, but things change, or do not last forever, painful as it might be. Wyckers, you are one of my favorite Rp partners I have ever had. I know this does not mean this will be the end of writing for us, however, and I look forward to what we can write in the future.  Thank you for giving me these wonderful stories though. Though it hurts now, your character has been such a positive experience on mine, and that is such a rarity for Saf. I love your character to pieces, and I hope he finds his happy one day. Renwyck Darrow deserves the dream. <3. }

#Warcraft #Alliance #Safrona Shadowsun #Renwyck Darrow #IC #Canon #What has been broken #What can never be the same... #Safwyck #ilu #still my favorite otp

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 51 - CHI - Cruel Comedy

What the fuck! I hope you saw the explicit tag before you clicked on this one because this is not going to be safe for all readers. My Sabres fandom starts somewhere around 2011 so I am intimately acquainted with shitty hockey. There is a time and place for shitty hockey. When you’re tanking for example: that is the time for shitty hockey. If you’re in subtle protest of Dan Blysma: that’s the time for shitty hockey. If you’re on a mad winning streak and tearing up the league I guess you’re kind of entitled to lay an egg of shitty hockey in one game. None of those scenarios I just described are currently occurring with this team unless there is a locker room plot I missed against Phil Housley. Hell, there is an open rebellion amongst fans against Phil and at this point is that not justified? The point is this shit is completely uncalled for! Did Drake Caggiula insult everyone’s wives and girlfriends? The only answers the Sabres had at the end of the 1st period and for most of the 2nd period was fight. Not the symbolic sense of the word where their play improves as they try to fight back into the game; no the old time hockey garbage where they make a statement with their fists! Andrew Peters would be proud you fucking disappointment wagon! You know what: every stat, advanced and otherwise, would point you to the Sabres being ready to fuck this Hawks team sideways. Hawks goals allowed, Hawks goal for, second and third period goals, defensive play, shots, and scoring chances: every fucking category! I don’t even know where to start with this shit!

For real this time: Fire Phil Housley. Several games back against Tampa Bay I said this club has probably given us the outline, the criteria if you will, to Fire Housley. I waited so long to jump on this ugly self-hating bandwagon but here I am on this bad fucking bandwagon. If he gets fired that will be five Sabres coaches in six years. I’m sure that doesn’t matter to Jason Botterill but holy hell it should matter to us at some point. Fuck it: he’s insane. I don’t need to even talk about Lawrence Pilut: he got into this game even if it’s with City punching bag Marco Scandella. It’s all the shit Housley doesn’t do: like make big changes when the Sabres need consistency or making no changes when the Sabres need them. Its ten minutes into the second and the Sabres are down 3-0 on the back of three fucking snipes from the two old dudes and Caggiula’s first. What does Housley do? Not a damn thing. Starting Hutton in the first place probably wasn’t wise but fuck, dude: when you’re getting your shit pushed in by the Chicago Blackhawks, not the 2013 Chicago Blackhawks, the 2019 CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS, then you’re doing something wrong. Not only am I not sure Housley put his best roster forward for this game, I’m not sure he had any motivational or tactical moves in mind to fire up the comeback machine once the sky started falling. It’s the beginning of a seven game home stand, your club needs points in the standings and Patrick Kane is back in town and you’re allowing this shit!? This game made me stare into the fucking abyss with this team!

You want a play by play? Huh, shit. The first period sounded like the Sabres we’re playing their game against what is objectively a weak Blackhawks team. They got more shots all period and even got two opportunities on the powerplay. Then Drake Caggiula scored. I’ve already mentioned this poor kid’s name three times this blog but his first career goal is a turning point. It was so massive it put fucking laxatives in all the Sabres water bottles because they came out in the second to SHIT ALL OVER THE ICE! Here’s the thing: the Sabres somehow outshoot the Hawks this second period as well but they could not be worse at advancing the puck. All their passes were intercepted and all their turnovers turned into D-zone time. They must have been turned on from when the Stars pushed them around in Dallas because they got pushed around by the fourth worst team in the league last night! Kane, Keith and later Saad to make sure we’re sad! Remember when Brendan Saad’s name was a stupid meme in 2014? That meme rose from the dead to end the second. All the Blackhawks jerseys in the crowd only made it worse. Who are Buffalo Blackhawks fans? The answer is Patrick Kane’s family and his teenage drinking buddies. I have a feeling all those Hawks jerseys couldn’t have been one of those two groups all though Buffalonians do tell me he was always a prolific drinker. Jack Eichel did score a Rasmus Ristolainen shot deflection to provide a little ray of hope but that was promptly expunged. Oh, I don’t even want to put up with you punks wanting a trade for Kane. The whole second period was just a list of grievances about this team!

The Sabres won in Columbus and they were in it for 85% of the game in Dallas. They have been bad for weeks and months now but they were looking better out of the bye-week. That false flag just shit in all our mouths! I was celebrating an anniversary with my wife so the two of us watched a comedy during this third period. I’ll tell you if I wasn’t so emotionally involved I would say this third period is quite funny! Jason Pominville maneuvers right in front of that demon goalie Cam Ward 3:30 into the third and puts one over him. This goal demonstrated how fucking soft the Hawks defense was this game letting Pommer in there to score one-on-one with Ward. Oh boy is the comeback machine firing up again!? Next it’s Kyle Okposo who gets credit for a puck passing Ward in a net crashing play where everyone was just pounding their sticks like they were begging the God of Irony to not let this game end in a stinker. Kyle Okposo who was punished with the fourth line but what’s that Coach Housley: You’re going to put a veteran first and try and change the game by putting Okposo on the second line? Well look at that, you got the Sabres within one. You put Linus Ullmark in net? Wow maybe you don’t need the Veterans but I’m not giving you credit for that one because you started Hutton to begin with. You ready: it’s time to stare into the abyss with me. Connor Murphy wrist shot equals goal. Patrick Kane with an empty netter to surpass 900 NHL points and become one of the fucking top seven Americans in points! And then Brendan Saad with an empty netter because irony lives in a mansion down on Delaware avenue and he loves going to Buffalo Sports events! Game over: YOU STINK!

To Housley’s credit apparently he tore into them afterward. Remi Elie going on waivers today could be Jason Botterill beginning to make some moves to fix this mess. In the meantime I’ve mentioned this abyss we stared into with this game a couple times. Let’s shine a light into this abyss to see what it holds: for one the Sabres being one of the worst teams in the league in terms of points gathered and record since the win streak steers us into this abyss. It holds the misery of at one point being first in the NHL and then missing the playoffs in March. It’s another offseason starting in April where we get engrossed in the Draft and wonder what offseason moves happen and how they affect the team next season. It’s another fucking season with no playoffs. I was in High School last time they made it and I wasn’t even really into sports then! Oh my God, it’s talking about an 84 point finish as an improvement when we finished LAST a season ago! THIS SHIT IS CYCLICAL! IT’S LIKE WE’RE NOT ALLOWED ANY FUN! Is it because the Bills went to the Superbowl four straight times and lost? I’d sell that fucking team to Nazem Kadri himself if it gets the SABRES ONE FUCKING PLAYOFF BERTH! Here we are losing to the Blackhawks! We all knew 1st place in November was a fluke but this: THIS IS JUST CRUEL! Holy shit I need to relax! I have to prepare to host a Superbowl party and watch the most hated man in Football win another Superbowl this weekend. There is just no rest! I cannot believe this whole fucking mess!

Drop a like. Each like goes toward maintaining my sanity like all those thumbs up on Facebook go toward bringing clean water to sub-Saharan Africa. Comment if you’re wondering what my solution to this mess is. I was going to include some replacements for Housley and some tactical ideas but I didn’t have the patience with this team if they can’t even win games that are laid out on a silver platter for them to win. Share this blog: I was party inspired to do this based on Steve Dangle’s Leafs Fan reaction. The early years of that were enjoyable for me as a Sabres fan because the Leafs sucked ass. It was pretty masochist in retrospect but if you’re the Leafs fan in the opposite position reading my shit in a masochistic way I really want to learn your story. Hell, just share this blog if you think we can commiserate together. Enjoy your Superbowl weekend and get ready for either further depression on Tuesday or more hope that the worst may not be happening. At this point either outcome would be an uproarious comedy.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. The Florida Panthers are totally going for Artemi Panarin and Sergei Bobrovsky. Perhaps next season we’ll have the matchups we expected to have with them this season.

#buffalo sabres #hockey #nhl #blog #chicago blackhawks

[tekka-dan]

Do you find Naruto to be egotistical and self righteous?

This was an interesting question and you can prepare for the rant I have planned for it!

However, if you want the short answer / pinned for time: Yes, I find Naruto to be egotistical and self-righteous. 

However this is not inherently a bad trait in characters. In fact, it’s one of my favorite personality traits in characters / literature because it makes the characters feel realistic / relatable.

People don’t want to protagonists who are always sympathetic / doing the good thing for the simple reason it’s the right choice. People like characters that are selfish [sometimes] morally and/or empathetically.

(By the way, here’s the long answer): Naruto is a self insert character, the audience / reader is supposed to connect / relate with him. Therefore his actions are more or less always justified in a personal gain sort of way. Naruto’s dream to becoming Hokage is what drives the narrative through its storyline. However when you consider Narutos reason for becoming Hokage:

It’s literally focused around Naruto having recognition and being the strongest shinobi in the village. His aspirations have nothing to do with the other villages and guess what? We don’t exactly need him to care about the other villages [at this point in time] because all we care about is that Naruto’s journey is accomplished and now we’re in for the long haul of him achieving his dream. 

His egotistical traits bleed throughout the storyline though and he becomes less of a self insert character and more of a sympathetic character.

As the storyline progresses we are reminded over and over of Naruto’s isolation and loneliness. We couldn’t forget this even if we tried.

However, these traits became boring / overused to me.

I like characters that can be morally selfish to an extent, but Naruto dismisses other people’s pain / suffering in order to boast about his own  ideals and beliefs over and over again. Boasting about how he overcame loneliness through the power of friendship, so everyone else’s pain and suffering should be dismissed in the same way.

 Who cares about your entire family being slaughtered? We’re friends and I was alone too, I know how you feel, so get over it already.

Who cares that shinobi from my own village went into yours and slaughtered your families and decimated your entire village / turned it into a battleground, get over it, I was born and raised alone and I’m just fine.

Who cares that you watched the love of your life die before your very eyes? You once had dreams of becoming hokage, don’t put that aside all because some girl you liked died! I was born and raised alone, I totally know how you feel, my friends helped me overcome all of that.

It becomes boring because Naruto uses his excuse of finding friends to be the answer and end all to every situation. He dismisses the fact that people suffer in various ways and sometimes having friends isn’t all it takes to mend your broken heart. However because he feels this way, everyone else must feel this way too. It is the law.

Even though his personality starts getting on my nerves towards the middle, there’s another character that I admire that’s also morally selfish.

Gon Freecess is from Hunter x Hunter and I once wrote about his defining selfish features during one arc in particular. [*I didn’t link it because if you haven’t seen the anime it’s kind of a spoiler]

Gon is a literal child, he’s twelve years old and is only aspirations are to become a hunter and to find his father.

Throughout the narrative he makes countless selfish decisions and in some cases he decides for an entire group of people what they will do, in spite of hearing their thoughts and ideas. Gon on various occasions admits to being selfish and acknowledges in himself that it could very well be the death of him someday.

The reason I love Gon as a character is because he’s self aware that his actions are intolerably selfish and the extent of what he goes through for others / himself doesn’t have a limitation in order for him to get what he perceives is worth it. At the end of his arc, he’s still morally selfish and inclined to do what it is he was driven to do from the start, however there are points in time where he reflects on the decisions he makes and the consequences they cost him. However it doesn’t make him waiver in the slightest.

The difference between Gon and Naruto is that Naruto doesn’t self reflect on his selfish ideals and beliefs, he truly and undoubtedly believes that his way is the only / right way. 

#anonymous #naruto #naruto uzumaki #gon freecss #hunter x hunter #hxh 2011

[planetsam]

I love everything you're writing!! Could you write one where El is telling Mike about what happened with her mother, and what happened in Chicago with Kali? I feel like she would kind of be wrestling with the dark side of her that brought out. Also them just catching up on what's been happening in general.

“Jane.”

Mike looks down at the girl in his arms, still in complete disbelief that they’re actually at the Snow Ball. They’re rocking to the music, her arms around his neck and his around her waist. No-one really knows how to dance at these things but Nancy is beaming at him so he must be doing something right. His focus is on Eleven. She lifts her head up and looks at him.

“What?” he asks.

“Me,” she says, “I’m Jane.”

Logically he knows she’s got a name, a proper name. But he didn’t know she was going to know it. He feels her fingers curl into the hair at the nape of his neck and he flattens his hands against her back, letting her know that he’s there. She licks her lips and looks down at her shoes. Mike can see she’s nervous again and he opens his mouth to tell her not to be. That she doesn’t ever have a reason to be nervous with him. But she squares her shoulders and looks up at him.

“My mom’s name is Terry, she lives with her sister. My aunt. She’s a snitch,” she continues, “I have a sister, Kali,” she frowns, “I stole Eggos. I was bad. Bitchin but bad. I ran away too. I used my mind on Hop. Everyone’s still mad at me.”

He stares down at her, trying to process everything she’s saying, but her name just keeps repeating in his head. Jane. He doesn’t know anyone with that name. He didn’t know anyone with the name Eleven either. Something crosses her eyes and she chews on her bottom lip. He feels the moment she starts to pull away and that kicks him out of his stupor.

“Sorry,” he blurts out, “I just–” he knows his ears are red and it’s only getting worse, “Jane’s a really pretty name.”

She blinks up at him, regarding him warily. Like she still might run and he’ll go another three hundred and fifty four days without seeing her. Mike’s heart aches at the thought.

“I stole eggos,” she repeats, “I ran away, Hop said I should be grounded.”

“I had to give away all my toys,” he says, “the principal says it’s a phase. That we’re not bad, it’s just a phase.”

She considers this and then nods.

“I’m supposed to be grounded starting tomorrow.”

“Me too,” she says.

His throat tightens but he tries to smile all the same. They weren’t even sure she’d come here. His mother had called him selfish after the twelfth chance. Maybe he is. But he doesn’t want to go through another three hundred fifty days without her. She looks down again, as if she’s arranging her thoughts and then looks up at him.

“Are you mad at me?” She asks finally.

Mike shakes his head.

“Why did you keep running away?” he asks finally.

She looks up at him with wide eyes and he swallows, fighting not to hold her closer in case he scares her away.

“You were at the school. My house too. There-there. Not just listening. I kept running after you—“

“You weren’t supposed to see me,” she mumbles and he’s torn between feeling bad and wanting to be angry.

“Why not?” he asks.

“It wasn’t safe,” she says shaking her head, “you had to be safe.”

“So you went to someone else?!”

She stares at him, surprise written all over her face. Mike knows it’s dumb that he’s jealous of the police chief, but the idea of El going to someone else for help makes him feel like he swallowed bugs. It’s not even one of the other guys either. Though he’s not sure if that would make it better or worse. Eleven tilts her head to the side, her eyes taking in his appearance and Mike pauses.

“Are you jealous?” she asks. There’s a funny roaring in his ears as he realizes that, ok, he might be a little jealous. All he can do is nod. Eleven positively beams at him and he wonders if that’s a good or a bad thing in her book. “I was jealous too,” she continues, “I saw you with Max at the school.”

“I wanted her to be you,” he blurts out and she nods, looking wise beyond her years.

“I wanted to go to you,” she says.

He can’t help but smile at that, even though he wishes that she had. He gets why she didn’t he really does. But that doesn’t make this any easier. For right now though, all they can do is hold each other and sway in time with the song, not looking anything like the other middle schoolers Mike sees looking at them curiously. He doesn’t care though, not at all. They’re at the Snow Ball and nothing else really matters.

They spend the whole night dancing.

“My aunt called me Janey,” she tells him during one slow song, “nicknames are supposed to make your name shorter.”

He thinks of what she said about her aunt snitching and nods in solidarity.

“She sounds like a real mouth breather.”

Eleven agrees.

“You, uh, you said you had a sister?” Mike tries.

“She’s not like Nancy,” Eleven says, looking over at his sister. Mike isn’t sure if it’s because Nancy seems to be the first girl around her age she’s interacted with or what, but she has a tendency to glorify his sister. “She wanted to hurt people.”

Mike knows Elven would be more than within her rights to hurt more people. He has seen her kill hallways full of people, so he can’t say he never has. But all of those people were trying to hurt her first, so some part of him thinks she was justified. He tightens his arms around her, his thumb on the skin exposed by the neck of her dress. She sighs and burrows into his chest, like she can hide there. He wishes that she could. He wishes that they could stay like this always.

“Your name’s really pretty,” he says, he can feel her nose crinkle.

“It doesn’t feel like mine,” she admits.

“Well you just got it,” he explains, “it’s brand new. Maybe one day it will?” she glances up at him, “if it doesn’t we can keep calling you El,” he adds quickly, “we can say it’s your middle name.”

“Middle name?” she repeats.

For a second the look on her face is completely familiar and he’s somehow a foot shorter huddled in a blanket fort explaining something in every way he can think of until he sees that flash of recognition in her eyes. Back when he’d spent hours thinking up the way to tell her what the Snow Ball was and if there was a way to ask her without it being odd. Or her feeling bad if she didn’t want to go with him. It never occurred to him how things would be. How it would take a full year for them to get there.

“Yeah, sometimes people have middle names. And if you and someone else have the same name, sometimes they’ll use the middle name to tell you apart.”

Eleven considers this and looks at him.

“Do you have a middle name?” She asks.

“It’s Theodore, but I’m the only Mike in our grade so no-one needs to use it.”

“So you’re Michael Theodore Wheeler and I’m Jane Eleven Hopper.”

“Yeah, that’s us,” Mike says with an easy smile.

Eleven beams and wraps her arms around him tighter. Every second that she’s really and tactile he feels better. Like someone’s fitting him back together. It’s overwhelming but he wouldn’t trade it. Not for anything. There’s no more voids to scream into, no more empty spaces or sharp edges that reflect his anger back at him. There’s no more echoes that make everything so much worse. He doesn’t realize how tight he’s holding her until she taps the back of his neck.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, feeling his cheeks go red.

Eleven shakes her head, she gets it. He knows she does. She waivers only for a second before she pushes herself up on her toes and presses her lips to the corner of his mouth. He turns and their noses bump, sending them back. He’s surprised because every kiss so far, he’s initiated. He’s all set to apologize but something determined sparks in her eyes and his head turns slightly like it’s being angled by an invisible set of hands before she tries again.

He cups her cheek this time, exploring more as fireworks go off behind his eyes. Her arms tighten around his neck. He gets the feeling of something brushing across his cheek though her arms don’t move. He realizes that she’s doing the same thing, but while he has his hands she has her power. It’s an odd but not unpleasant sensation as it skims down his neck, picking a spot to stop that makes him shiver. She pulls back quickly, looking up at him.

“Okay?” She asks, unsure and he nods.

“Yeah, definitely okay,” he says, “I’m ticklish there.”

Her eyebrows draw together and invisible fingers wiggle on the spot, making him struggle not to laugh. Eleven gives him a grin that makes it all worth it before he reaches with his fingers to the spot. He half expects to encounter something. The sensation retreats immediately and he looks at her.

“Sorry, is that bad?” He asks.

“Not bad,” she shakes her head, “different.”

She furrows her brow and he opens his mouth to tell her to stop when something wraps around his fingers. He looks down to see if the air is any different but it isn’t. The feeling is unmistakable as his fingers are lightly tugged back to her waist and his hand is settled there, right before the other is briefly squeeze. She looks up at him to see if he’s okay and he nods, right before her nose starts to bleed. He grabs the tissues from his back pocket that he put there on a whim and tugs her off the dance floor, taking her under the bleachers and pressing the tissues to her nose.

“Are you okay?” He asks and she nods quickly.

“I’m okay. Still tired from closing the gate,” she shrugs, “but I wanted to do that,” she adds quickly.

“I brought them for you,” he tells her, suddenly finding it important that she knows, “the tissues, I didn’t want you to have blood on your nose.”

“Thank you,” she says, taking the tissue down. He tilts her head up and he appraises her nose, “it’s stopped.”

“You’re good,” he says.

“I’m great,” she corrects, “can we go dance again?”

It feels like the final piece of whatever’s been missing slots back into place and he nods. He’s spent the last year slowly becoming the kind of kid who hides under the bleachers and sulks during dances. Now though Eleven grabs his hand and pulls him out of there and back onto the dance floor. As long as she’s there, as long as they’re together, Mike doesn’t think either of them will have a reason to hide in the shadows again.

#mike wheeler #eleven #mileven #mike x eleven #Jane Hopper #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #prompts

[lifeofgroffsauce]

Miscellaneous papers spilled from a crisp manilla folder held lax and haphazardly, clattering onto the apartment's hallway floor to cause a groan from the actor. Various safety waivers and film contracts now mixed up and out of the ascending order of dates he'd meticulously placed them in, was a hell of an end to the night. Crouching down to gather them, grumbling irritably as he did, he tried his best to reorganize the mess before knocking on the door.

“Jon Groff! My faaavorite client!”

The shrill ring of his, uncharacteristically drunk, agent Kelly hit his ears. It was her cheery smile that was infectious and suddenly he matched her enthusiasm, despite his previous misfortune seconds ago.  

“Oh my god, you're such a little liar!” He accused playfully then gestured to her relaxed posture against the wood slab that seemed to hold her up, having it half way open. “What are you doing on a Monday night, missy? Don't you have special agent things to be doing?”

Freshly manicured nails, tips too boxy in Jonathan's opinion, tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. He noticed they both suffered the same fate when it came to alcohol flushing their cheeks. Hers, however, wore only a faint blush peeking through her artificially tan skin. “What?! Why are you- did you not get my email?” A gasp fled from her lithe form, soon swatting his arm. “Check your fucking emails more than once a year! Jesus, I sent you an e-vite!”

Just as he rose an inquisitive brow, she swung the door fully open, bright cerleans catching the light of the Brooklyn bridge out of gigantic panoramic windows lining the living room wall. A small group of people congregated about the space, all mingling with each other. They all appeared to be close friends and work connections.

“You're having a party? Oh my goodness,” He laughed almost nervously and mustered up a sheepish grin. “I'm super sorry. I wish I had known! I'll make a better habit of reading those but, it's really late and I just needed to-”

“Jonathan! Nooo, don't be sorry! Come in, come in!” To her urging, his lips parted to object but she quickly silenced him with her shushing, coiling her nimble digits around his larger ones. /Don't argue with Italians, even the five-foot-two short shits like Kelly./ He smirked at his own thought and walked in.

“You know Drew Gehling, right?” The boozy Kelly slurred her way through each introduction like a proper hostess. A striking baritone voice flooded the space with his drawl, steps moving toward the agent as they circled around the dining table. “Why bother asking, Kels. Tall, dark, handsome. Fits Jonathan's type perfectly. Of course they know each other.”

Jonathan's muscles tensed slightly, his mouth pulling a tight-lipped grin. “Though I guess the 'tall' box has been unchecked. New boyfriend's on the vertically challenged side.” Zachary offered a sassy smirk to Jon to let him know he was joking and calm him down; unfortunately, it did the opposite. He was painfully reminded of where he should  be versus where he was.

“He's flexible; that's all that matters,” Flew from his lips faster than his brain could register. It earned him a chuckle from his ex-boyfriend. J shrugged.

Kelly, the serial gasper at this point, followed with a grip of Jon's bicep. “Oh my god, I fucking meant to talk to you about all those Instagram posts! Stop with the lovey crap or Jeana will actually have a job to do- and Jon- I'd rather keep her on standby and not pay her an exorbitant amount of money because you're in your feelings...” She continued to scold him, but he had long since tuned her out as, in paranoid fashion, his focus was on studying Quinto until the tall male left the room to go refill his oversized glass of chardonnay.

Another theatre family member (he remembered as Lin's “cousin”) joined their conversation and began a debate regarding the proper use of social media. Jonathan eased up a bit when he saw Zach return but rather than engage, turned to his own huddle of friends on the other side of the room. /I'll stay for a little while longer, I don't want to be rude./

Before he knew it, a blush colored wine glass was being thrust into one of his hands he was animatedly driving his point home with. Without thought, he accepted it, not aware it was Zachary that had given it to him until several moments after. Naturally, the thirty-three year old regarded him with a polite nod, watching as he seamlessly dove into the topic at hand.

“I just don't see the point in lying on social media about who you are or what you do. Why try to make someone believe you pop bottle of Dom every weekend and prance around on a private beach every holiday? Stop stunting.” One actor in their bundle scoffed.

While Jonathan's eyes were taking in the many that had swarmed around their expanded circle, Zach spoke up. His left arm leaned against the kitchen's accent wall. “I take it you've never heard of 'escape theory'? Mm, what a shame, Brandon.”

A click of his tongue snagged Groff's attention, wine kissing his lips, attention on Quinto. “All of us here; we're trying to find an outlet to help us step outside, escape- if you've put two and two together- who we are for a fragment in time. It can be as simple as that evening glass of cheri you have in your underwhelming studio apartment, or as large as the theatre audience seeing you stripped down, bare-assed, utterly exposed for eyes to feast on your body. You don't think posting photographs on social media does that as well?”

He was met with silence; the group stealing glances but not quite knowing how to move forward. Quinto took that as a que to continue speaking, this time with a tone that was introspective. “We can project anything out into the world... put out... anything, but the hardest thing to do is show it who we are. To the core. That's why people 'stunt' on social media. Maybe, after a while, we'll start to believe it, too. We'll start to believe we're something more than we actually are.”

Another pause. “Here I just thought everyone had Cartier bracelets and endless frequent flier miles.” Jon deadpanned, earning laughter from everyone, as well as a slightly grim smile from Zachary. The older actor excused himself, accidentally (intentionally?) brushing his front against the Hamilton star's chest when he passed.

“Jeez, Zach!” Kelly coughed, senses overloaded at the trail he left in his wake. “Use more Bleu de Chanel, please. I don't think they can smell your bougie ass in Chelsea!”

Two hours later...

“Drive safe. Take back alleys. The scenic routes. Turn on your Friends app so I can see when you're home.” The demands came at lightening speed from his drunk agent, whom he was sure peppered some Italian expletives in there. “Kelly Bean, I'm good. Three glasses of wine. Solid as a rock. Go to bed.”

He watched the petite woman tuck herself into the Pottery Barn sheets then began his quest for the door, stopped only by the sound of glasses clanking together. Everyone was gone with the exception of two. While the first was exhausted beyond belief, seeing the second clearing the glasses off the table alone guilted him. “Do you... do you want help with this?”

The onyx haired man shook his head no. “I'll have you know, I'm very domestic now, Groff. I got it. Go home,” He insisted. “I would just feel bad if I left this for her because honey, with that hangover she's going to have tomorrow, she's going to be wishing for death. Dirty crystal will be the catalyst that pushes her over the edge; the Brooklyn nutcase. That's why you don't get involved with Virgos.”

Jon nodded slowly as he spoke, semi-entertained though far away in his mind. It caused him to approach his next set of words with caution. “Hey, do you remember... I know this was a long time ago and it's probably super unprofessional because of, you know, the show, but...” A sigh. “When we were together, maybe the first six or so months, we- we did a scene. It was super intense...” He was gaging Quinto's, so far, anti-climactic reaction. “I threw up...” An embarrassed laugh leaked into the air.

“Which time? I remember that you had the weeeeakest stomach,” The laugh that followed from Zachary was filled with nostalgic amusement. After diving up the glasses in even rows into the dishwasher, he spun around to pin his broad back against the pantry door, raising a finger. “I think you may have cried once, too. I don't do crying so, kind of let you do your thing on that one. A little dark, in retrospect.” His hand waved back and forth, not too sold on the idea that he added, “To be fair, I mean; we did a lot of intense stuff. We were intense stuff.”

The gears in Jonathan's brain were turning. An odd comfort came from hearing him stress were. Mentally noting to keep that in his arsenal when he had to balance his career and relationship. As if that justified him being there talking to him, instead of at home, spooning Lin as he promised. The lyricist was never far from his mind, especially as he stood in the warm cast of light in the otherwise empty home, staring at the distant embodiment of someone he cared about.

Zachary was a walking memory; an old polaroid that had discolored and aged with time. Circumstances were what they were. No amount of positive narration would change the way something was. Not even the comfort a lie would provide. There was ice and the bite of winter whenever he looked at him.

He greatly preferred Lin, who was a photo album with more promise and opportunity for happiness. A radiating warmth that flowed from a steadily burning fire. Thoughts, the splitting wood and radiant embers that transformed into something beyond what is expected. In life, he'd found another soul he believed shared a part of his. They were intertwined in some cosmic way, and life was too short to not pursue that. Even if that meant he had to intervene in the man's own marriage to make it happen.

Still, none of this quelled the incessant internal squabbling that came with trying to piece together... the reality. /To weed through the lies of the past is necessary to have a better understanding of the future's truth./ Some shit his therapist told him that he wished he hadn't. Now he couldn't stop trying to remember.

Lingering whispers of anxiety multiplied into an fierce entity that occupied his headspace long after he'd left. Two small pills were his savior, dissolving into his Rosé-filled gut.

Finally, he made it home.

Luckily, his boyfriend was out cold. Feet weren't as coordinated as they could have been, stumbling while attempting to take off his jacket. The blunt hit of his kneecap on the night stand caused his hiss before he whispered apologies to the offending piece of furniture. Resuming his place with the Puerto Rican in his embrace, a smile graced his lips. He could only hope his aura remained as peaceful as it did in this moment.

#// #mentions: #lin #zq #kelly #tws apply #I'm sorry if this rambles which lol ok we know me ofc it does #also if theres any typos or lack of flow #rp