#and then did the same thing the next 100 pages

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: Month Ahead #01

This was written for May 2024 but with the intention to be timeless, so even if you find it later there might be a message for your next month.

We'll look into your energy coming into the month, but also what will be the theme/area of focus and what you'll need to pay attention to, as well as the surprises that might come your way.

It's my first time doing a pick a card like this so we'll see how it turns out! I love doing those privately though.

As always, be mindful that this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not be 100% fitting for your situation, and that it's based on the energy you hold at the moment of selecting a pile that draws you to one of them.

PILE 1

Cards: Page of Cups, Queen of Wands, 9 of Cups, Ace of Swords, the Emperor, Strength, 5 of Cups, the Moon, Queen of Cups, 5 of Wands rx, Ace of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, Page of Wands

For your energy coming into the month, I see you being in a state of being in tune with your heart, opening up to the possible rise of a new romantic connection. I get the sense that you're cautiously optimistic about it, because while you feel confident within yourself and in a happy place, you're also aware that it's too early to tell. But you're not letting that deter you and you're fully embracing your own power, feeling good about yourself and where you're at while looking ahead hopefully and waiting for an opportunity to move forward. I think for you the process of the month ahead has already started a bit before the start of the new month and you're continuing the process.

When it comes to the theme of the month, I see the importance of putting your emotional fulfillment at the forefront and being actively working towards it. There is a need to bring clarity about the situation, clarity that will bring you contentment and tie loose ends. You will be determined to work through that with willpower and determination by taking the lead and stop wasting time around. I think you are seeing the path forward for this connection and you're determined to go for it and not let it escape. You got four cards here and they all represent a different element, which I interpret as the fact that harmony within and for yourself will be a big theme as well. Between your feelings, your thoughts and your actions, everything will be grounded in your authentic self.

I think these past few months have not always been great for you and you're determined to leave that behind and enter the new chapter of your life. You've learned all you had to about your old ways and now you're ready for a change. So for the goal you'll have in mind, you will be focused on not falling back into the same patterns of thoughts and behaviors and keep moving forward with determination and a sense that you can't go back to what you once where.

The challenge that will arise will come from your own psyche. I get the sense that you still have unresolved issues within yourself that may cloud this great picture, so you will have to be extra careful about not letting your fears and doubts making you spiral down and do or say something that doesn't align with your truth. You might go through times where you feel irritable or anxious and you may take that as a proof that things are going to shit again and you might want to run away, but it's an illusion. It just means that you still have some inner clutter to sort out. Be careful about not shutting yourself off from others as a reaction to your inner pain.

When it comes to a surprise coming your way, it seems there will be an event that will create a shift from a confusing and chaotic situation to one of open communication of feelings, laying out a more positive base for the future. I'm getting the sense that this is what the theme of the month was referring to, and while you seek it, you don't really know how it will unfold so it will still be a surprise when it happens. When this even happens, be as open and honest as possible in order to clear out any possible miscommunication, be kind and listen to what the other person has to say with empathy and love at heart.

What you'll have gained by the end of the month will be a stable and solid start towards the future. Things are blossoming but you'll have learned that there's no point rushing into anything and that things come when the time is right. You'll be set to build on that for the months to come. Maybe the start of a new commitment although things are in their very early stage.

As a final advice, it is important not to shut yourself off from your emotions and not to stay stuck in your old ways of remaining passive. Stay open and assertive, go after what you want and I get the strong message that you need to communicate openly about everything that isn't clear in this connection. Don't just wait around for things to fall onto your lap. Be passionate and enthusiastic and again be clear about your intentions. Also, you're learning something new and important so be gentle with yourself if you don't get everything perfectly from the get go, what matters is to do your best.

PILE 2

Cards: King of Wands, Queen of Cups, the Lovers rx, 8 of Cups rx, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Memento Mori, 10 of Swords, King of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, 2 of Wands, The Chariot, Knight of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Cups rx, 7 of Cups

For the general vibe of this pile, it feels a bit overwhelming like there is so much to pay attention to that you are somewhat disconnected from yourself as a result, because your feelings are so confusing that you get lost in them. There are A LOT of court cards, which may mean that there is a situation that brings the intervention of a lot of different people, perhaps it will be busy at work, or something involving family, creating a very messy situation where everyone has something to say and you can't hear yourself anymore. Really there is so much external influences here that I had a hard time picking up on YOU until the end of the reading.

For the energy you have coming into the month, I really think you are in a committed relationship with someone (and if not it's not your pile), but there is a big disharmony here. It seems one of you is on the way out of the relationship (represented by the King of Wands), and the fact that the Queen of Wands shows as a challenge later in the reading, I'm getting that this person already has someone in mind. It seems you are longing for the way the relationship used to be and it feels over, but you are having difficulties moving on right now. It's also possible you're just longing for the idea of Love altogether and wishing you could drop everything you have right now to run towards it. There is a choice to be made but right now at the end of the month, you are not making a move one way or another.

The theme of the month to come for you pile 2 makes a lot of sense considering what I already wrote. You will have to focus on your own clarity and get grounded in yourself, trying to find stillness in the chaos that surrounds you in order to get the answers you need, based on your own guidance. I'm also getting that you feel resistant to change and the call of life, and that you may feel a bit dead inside and numb as a result. There is a need to find excitement for the miracle of life again which has been lost due to your complex situation. ''The meaning is in the Middle'' is what's written on the card and writing down in case it speaks to anyone.

For what you'll consciously focus on this month, I'm getting just like...trying not to break down completely and at the same time keeping up with your demanding job and practical life issues. Perhaps this impending breakup is causing financial stress and you don't know how things will turn out. So your goal will be navigating that in order to stay on top of things both mentally and professionally/financially.

Okay this is where it finally clicks because I was confused whether you where the one with the third party of the one who is perhaps cheated on. With the King of Pentacles longingly looking at the Queen of Wands (the third party I mentioned before - don't take gender into account though) standing next to him, I'm getting that YOU are wondering how to welcome this new passionate connection into your busy life and how to make it fit from a practical standpoint with your current relationship. The Queen seems to be both a challenge and an opportunity, I don't necessarily get that this Queen is a bad omen, it's just a difficult situation that require a choice on your part.

For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, I'm not getting a particular event but rather, how it will change the course of what you're doing. This surprise will force you to weight your options and start pursuing what you desire, getting out of that rut you are in. There will be progress moving forward as I don't think you'll be left indecisive for too long. There is a sense of urgency here, whether it's perceived or true, you will feel it deeply and it will push you into actions. You will be surprised by how determined you suddenly feel after the indecision of the past.

What will be gained after the month ends is a newfound stability as you'll have regained your footing. From that point in the spread it's like things have cleared up a bit and there's open space. There is a new beginning on the horizon but unlike the urgency that led you to that point, there is now the need to take things slow and build strong foundations.

The advice you got was that, well, it's time to choose what you want to do with this third party. You can't keep holding things like that without making a choice. You might also need to distance yourself from bad influences around you like friends or family and again focus on yourself. The second advice is about restoring some type of balance between giving and taking. It seems someone has or will give you something and you'll have to give something in return so that not to break the flow of the relationship.

PILE 3

Cards: 4 of Swords rx, 8 of Pentacles, 4 of pentacles, 3 of Pentacles rx, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, 9 of Wands, Justice, 4 of Wands, King of Cups, the Moon, 9 of Swords, Temperance, 6 of Swords, the Fool

For your energy coming into the month, I see that you might have been feeling burnt out for a while now due to over-exhausting yourself with work or your studies, something you've put a lot of care and energy into in any case. You feel stagnant and somewhat demotivated and the whole thing is weighting on you. It's like you've put so much effort into working on this issue that you feel totally depleted emotionally. However, you can't seem to let go a bit in order to get things flowing again and you remain stuck, fearing everything is going to go to waste if you relax a bit.

The theme of this month will be to find your support system and reach out for help in order to get you to find new solutions to your issue. Not everything can be done alone. Furthermore, not every project can be rushed through all the time, sometimes you have to let it rest for a bit and let it grow under the surface of the soil. You will find great benefit from focusing on your own enjoyment and pleasure for a change in order to find a new perspective on your situation.

Despite that, it seems your mind will still be set on proving yourself this month. It's like, you feel burnt out and stagnant, and instead of getting the cue that you need to slow down a bit, you look at others and wonder why you can't hustle like them. Basically you're sensing there is an issue but you're trying to solve it in a toxic way by comparing yourself to others and feeling threatened by their success, triggering your self esteem issues.

The challenged you will have to face have to do with accepting to restore the balance in your life and take a break to have a bit of fun. Sounds like a false problem but it seems it's quite difficult for you to do at the moment because you're so focused on your tasks. It's a critical point though because if you don't cut off the toxic behaviors that are burying you into the ground, you will face the repercussions of your own non-action further down the line. You might have a hard time socializing because your heart is not there and you might feel left out, even though it would do you good to get a change of scenery and get out of your cave for a while.

For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, this will have to do with some type of emotional reconnection that will lead to more balance. It's very possible that it'll be uncomfortable at first as all the negative feelings you've been pushing under the rug all this time are resurfacing, but if you manage to stay afloat you will find a greater sense of mastery over them. I'm not getting anything precise as to what's gonna happen, but it will have to do with you being forced to take the blindfolds off and finally pay attention to your mental health. This might be the inner crisis you need to get back in a better shape.

What will have been gained by the end of the month has to do with leaving behind this way of doing and thinking you were holding onto at the beginning of the month. You will finally be able to get moving again, even if it will feel somewhat bitter and hard to do, remember it's for the better because you could not keep going on like you did.

The advice for you to help you navigate things is to not take everything so seriously all the time. Don't focus too much on what's not working or what you could do better or even on what you can't control, but try to find hope and the sense that a new beginning is at hand if only you open yourself up to it. Whoever is sending you this advice really encourages you to enjoy the little things and find your youthful spirit again. Things won't stay bleak forever so the best thing you can do is let yourself move along the stream.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #divination #pac reading #pick a card reading #soaring wide #tarot #month ahead #may 2024

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

It’s 8 pm and I have 220 pages left in CoT,, now so I stop before shit goes down or stay up till midnight to finish it….

#I’m propably gonna finish it #depends on if I figure out what reading I have for tmr classes bc I can’t tell #it’s really good so far #I read the first 120 pages before I realized I was reading and time had passed #and then did the same thing the next 100 pages #it’s a fucking feeling #also it’s been so long since I’ve screamed so much at a book omg their stupid secrets #me #chain of thorns

[luvyeni]

MY SHY NEIGHBOR ( chapter 3. )

— CHAPTER THREE: lovestreams …

— 𖦹 warnings? 18+, cursing, masturbation, jeongin is down bad ( this is told in jeongins pov )

previous chapter - next chapter - my shy neighbor masterlist

jeongin genuinely was gonna go to sleep, but han jisung put the thought into his head. “fuck it.” he got up — sitting at his desk, opening his laptop. “oh that’s right.” he grabbed his headphones, sitting back down.

after plugging his headphones in, he typed in his favorite sight, scrolling through the main feed, searching for his favorite cam girl. “shit.” he cursed realizing she wasn’t streaming that night. should he just go to bed then? but he was already hard.

he was about to head to twitter, when he got a popup ad. “hm?” he read the words on the screen. “love streams?” he never heard of it, he shrugged, clicking the ad — what’s the worst that could happen.

he rid himself of his jeans while waiting for the page to load. his eyes widened at the new selection of girls, this sight was much bigger than the previous one, his cock twitched at the all the content.

he scrolled down, palming himself until he came across the top streamers selections. he scrolled over searching for the best one until he stopped at one. “lovergirl?” he clicked the screen, your body coming into frame, the camera off your face — you must want to keep your identity hidden.

“hi everyone!” your voice low and seductive, but also had a sweetness to it — that was what he liked the best.

“did you guys miss me?” you asked, your white robe hanging off your shoulders along with your bra strap. “yes? good i missed you guys to.” you chuckled, his cock was begging to be freed. “oh you want me to take it off?” you pulled at the robe, he nodded his head, like you could see him.

“if i do something nice for you, doesn’t that mean you have to do something nice for me?” he knew what that meant, so did the other viewers, because soon your tip jar was filling up. he reached for his card, typing in his credit card information.

he typed in $50 without flinching, you smiled at all the donations. “you guys are too kind.” you said, coming closer to the camera, he could now see your plump lips, your boobs about to spill from your bra, he bit his lip. “i guess i owe you guys something.”

you slowly undid your robe, letting it fall, your bra was next, you slowly pulled down the straps, undoing the latches, watch the bra fall into your lap, your boobs bouncing from being freed, he could hold it anymore, he stood up, pulling his underwear down, he cock sprung from his boxers, hitting his abdomen. “shit, he hissed.”

“is this what you guys wanted?” you chuckled , squeezing your boobs together, they looked so soft, he could only imagine what they felt like. “fuck.” he squeezed the base of his cock, teasing himself.

“no? this isn’t what you want?” your lips formed a pout, he thought about what they would look like covered in his cum. “well what is it you want?”

he quickly typed into the chat box. ‘your pants, take your pants off.’

“my shorts?” his heart fluttered, he knew there was thousands of comments saying the same thing, but it felt like you were personally answering him. “don’t you like them?” you teased, pulling at your waistband, a whimper emitting from your lips as you let it go, the elastic snapping against your waist.

“i wore them especially for you.” for him? that made him squeeze his cock, he for sure found his new favorite streamer.

“i guess you have to do something else for me.” he quickly typed in $100 dollars, he knew he shouldn’t have spend that much, but he was desperate — clicking the send button. “oh? 100 dollars, you must be really eager.” he froze, you were talking about him.

“what’s your name?” you said. “thank you FOX.YJN, everyone say thank you to FOX.YJN.” he smiled, the way you said his name, fuck he was gonna cum, he had to stop himself, you hadn’t even done anything, yet you had this hold on him.

you sat back, your legs fully on display, as you took off your shorts, revealing your white matching lace underwear, a wet patch in the middle. “shit.” he whispered, as you rubbed yourself through your underwear. “fuck.” you whimpered.

he seen the tips go up, and the comments telling you to remove your underwear, he didn’t hesitate to type in another $150, hitting send. “o-oh, YJN seems to want it more than any of you tonight.”

you slid your panties down your leg, spreading your legs, your wet cunt on display. “i’m so wet right now.” you moaned, rubbing your folds slowly. “f-feels so good.”

jeongin began to move his hand up and down his cock, moving slowly with you. “fu-fuck please speed up.” he groaned to himself, but it seemed like you answered his prayers, your fingers slowly entering your cunt, you moaned.

the noises from your pussy filling up his earbuds, as you sped up. “fu-fuck my fingers aren’t enough.” you moaned. “i wish it was yours.” he moaned, probably louder than he should’ve, but hearing you say that, in that whiny tone drove him crazy.

“fuck i’m gonna cum.” you whimpered. “m-me too.” he sighed, squeezing his tip. “fuck, please cum with me, cum with me please.” your begging really pushed him over the edge.

“fuck, i’m cumming!” you screamed, cumming all over your fingers. “shit.” he came right after, cum spurting from his tip, covering his hand and shirt. “oh fuck.”

you were talking to the camera as he came down from your high. “wow you guys tipped a lot tonight.” you giggled, your lips swollen from biting them.

“i should show my face next time?” you read the comments. “i told you guys already, maybe one day, but not right now.”

you interacted with a few more comments before, you slid your robe back on, covering your body. “i have to go now guys.” you pouted. “i know, i wish i could stay with you guys longer, maybe next time.”

you blew a kiss to the camera, before the stream cut off — leaving jeongin to sit with his thoughts, fuck it was his first time watching you, yet you left this impact on him, he had to see more of you.

he closed his laptop, grimacing at the sticky mess he created. “i guess i should get cleaned up.” he got up from his chair.

it hadn’t even hit him that he spent 300 dollars.

— ( taglist. OPEN ) @soulsbbg @k-poplv @yourmomscuntis2tighy @bbokarimenu @enczen @queen-in-the-shadows @thesweetesttattoo @ririlinoriri @aloverga @ashiitex @ddazed-lhs @heartsforhyunjin @chlodavids @simp4myself @surefornext @lostwonderwall @xxr-s4sha @charmer-c @vixensss @frobin4ever @bmnyy @semi-semiisbae @m111nho @i2innie

©LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #skz fic #skz texts #skz x reader #skz fanfic #skz imagines #skz x female reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids fic #stray kids texts #yang jeongin fanfic #yang jeongin x reader #yang jeongin fic #jeongin x reader #jeongin imagines #yang jeongin smau #skz smau #stray kids smau

[chuplayswithfire]

I have more thoughts on how and why the sex was a mistake. I will be thinking about this all week. All year.

Let's start with: the sex was consensual, they both wanted it, and that does not change that it was the wrong decision for their relationship in that moment. They should not have had sex! Ed is 100% correct and he is not running away when he says that! He is not just avoiding his feelings or getting cold feet, he is genuinely correct, and here's why:

They continue to be on different pages. They have not had a chance to talk it through. It's been like 2-3 max since Ed woke up from the Gravy Basket, and emotions are still running high. Even ignoring that they were just tortured in front of each other and that Stede killed a man right after Ed asked him not to, they were not in the same space emotionally regarding their relationship.

Fir one thing: Stede did *not* get his heartbroken (prior to this). He got his romantic affirmation. Season 1 was an entire arc leading to Stede realizing he is gay, that he is in love, that he is loved in return. For him, for HIM, sex is a natural next step, and we already knew he wanted it from how he deepened their kiss in episode 5. Their relationship itself is not a source of trauma for Stede; he loves Ed and he walked away from his old life to be with him, and now he found him again, and they've agreed to do it together, figure things out, his romantic hopes are realized.

And in that moment, adding to that background informations, is that Stede also wanted to avoid all his messy feelings by being physical. He was tortured and he watched Ed and his crew be tortured, he was insulted and had to listen to Ed be insulted, and he wanted to regain control and power by killing Ned Low, and removing the threat. That's where Stede's head is.

Ed, on the other hand, did get his heart broken and while the majority of what he's working through is about his self-hatred, his dissatisfaction with his career, and his desire to find a life that feels worth living, he is also dealing with a significant amount of trust issues with his relationship with Stede, because Stede left him. He has heard from Stede that he loves him, but Ed's deepest fear is that he's unlovable, and he hasn't gotten over that, or his hurt from how things went, in the like two days it's been.

But he loves Stede, and he's attracted to him, and he wants him, so when Stede initiates and manhandles him a bit and things get hot and heavy, he consents. He's all in, carried away by the moment.

And he regrets it.

He especially wasn't ready because Ed is a planner. I know we were all joking about how they definitely weren't going to take it slow and they were going to rush through, but I do genuinely think he meant it. Ed's natural state is as a planner and tactician, everything has an angle for him and even when he wants to just be simple, he always has a bajillion factors in mind that he's juggling, so we can be sure that Ed probably did very much have thoughts about how he wanted their first time to go, and what he wanted them to do and grow into as a relationship before they had sex, and instead they got tortured, Stede killed a man, and then they fucked in the aftermath.

Not bloody optimal indeed.

Now back to Stede: he is utterly unprepared for the idea that the sex could be a mistake because to and for him it was the natural next step in their relationship. This is his romantic fantasy is the thing; he was a cool brave pirate captain who made an enemy walk the plank in defense of his crew and his boyfriend, and then Ed came to him and Stede got to sweep him off his feet and shove him against the wall, kiss him, bring him to the bed, and pointedly shut the curtains on an audience that doesn't exist, followed by a lazy morning after with breakfast in bed.

So it probably hurts extra that Ed is like that was a mistake. This is literally him living his fantasy from episode 1, Ned Low even has facial hair and is mean to him like Izzy used to be. He could ignore all the realities of that situation, because he was living his fantasy, and Ed dragged them both out of fantasyland, back to the real world, where their relationship isn't fixed 100% and sex didn't change that.

They weren't on the same page. They still aren't, because they need to talk.

#ofmd #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta

[flowerflowerflo]

girl's guide to academic success: part 1 ⊹˚. ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ organisation

first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ recognition of talents & improvements

analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ laying out goals

set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ productive planning

plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ extra credit

put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ asking questions

please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ participation

participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ prioritising ur health

this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3

inspo ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

my notion ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie, she's amazing go follow her

lots of love! <3

#girlblogging #it girl-ism ୨𖹭୧ #academic 🎀 #wonyoungism #pink pilates princess #it girl #dream girl #dream life #thewizardliz #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #law of assumption #studyblr #study blog #pink academia #light academia #student #study tips #study motivation #study aesthetic #girly thoughts #that girl #it girl energy

[curious-kitchen-witch]

A neurodivergent witch's guide to starting a grimoire 🌿✨️

I remember when I was first starting out with building a grimoire and getting frustrated with how few resources there are on what a grimoire is supposed to be. I wanted clear directions and examples of what to include, but I mostly found YouTubers giving vague descriptions and repeating over and over again that it's extremely personal and private so they wouldn't say anything specific. As a neurodivergent person, it was very frustrating to try to figure out what to do from that. It took me a while to figure out what my own specifics were, so for any beginner witches out there, here are some specific ideas for starting off! Once you get more used to it, it'll get easier and easier to figure out what you do and don't want to include.

I'd recommend researching sigils and creating one to protect your grimoire; I placed mine on the second page after I dedicated the notebook for it, but you can put it wherever you feel like

Dates of moon cycles/information on how they affect your practice

Wheel of the year/sabbats if you celebrate them

Record rituals for sabbats if you choose to do anything for them, that way you have a reference for next year

Information on the elements- earth, air, fire, water, and/or spirit depending on your practice

Information on herbs or crystals you have- I like to print out pictures to include with the correspondences and leave space to write down specific things I use them for

Also, a quick reference list of ways you can care for individual crystals will be very helpful if you use them! Pay extra attention to which ones are sensitive to sun or water, it'll save you crystals later on

Basics of tarot, runes, or other divination methods

Color correspondences!

Information on zodiac signs; I printed out my star chart and put it in

When you do spellwork, write down everything you did and date it. Later you can come back and update whether it worked, what the effects were, and tweak it if necessary- basically treat it like a magic recipe book

A grimoire is not the same as a journal- if you want to write down personal reflections on meditation or your emotional experiences, I would suggest using a separate notebook for those things.

While I understand why people are so hesitant to show their grimoires, I have no qualms with showing a few pages for example purposes. However, I would suggest that you don't share anything that is personalized to your craft to others unless you can 100% guarantee that they won't cause you harm with it.

The only reason I'm ok with putting pictures on here is because they're full of basic information that anyone with Google could find and nothing that's specific to me.

With that being said, here are a few examples from my own grimoire as a reference!

#witchcraft #witch #witch community #beginner witch #book of shadows #grimoire #nd witch #neurodivergent witch

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Kairi

kairi is the third protagonist of the kingdom hearts series and the third member of the destiny trio, alongside fan favorites sora and riku. sora/riku shippers HATE kairi, and will go out of their way to discount her at every turn. the hate for her ranges from typical "she's a boring bitch" to fans of soriku making five-hour long video essays reassuring their fellow shippers that the big bad kairi won't show up in the next installment – to quote one video, "she's in a box. she's on the shelf. four walls, no door." kairi is the greatest bogeyman the soriku fandom has ever known, to the point where most of said video essays and fanon meta posts focus not on why sora and riku should get together, but rather on why they don't like kairi.

Literally has a 100+ page Google doc fan theory writing her out of the narrative and putting all of her (few) canonical accomplishments onto half of the popular m/m ship (soriku). Don't even get me started on how her memory was completely written out of the canon plot of re:coded. KH is a nightmare to explain so dude trust me she is THE victim of yaoi

She is so fundamental to the plot and themes and narratives of game and yet it is near impossible to find anything about her thats not ship bashing pre-mlm with the other two characters. I dont even care if she ends up with one of the main characters i just want fans to see her as a cool character to love or like, anything other than “annoying comphet girl.” You can write your mlm but pleaae stop inventing comphet where it doesnt exist. She does not even get to spend time with sora ever?? Why does everyone see her as a threat and a thing to destroy?? Let her have friends so help me

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.

#round 3 #poll #kairi kingdom hearts #kh kairi #kairi #kingdom hearts #misa amane #misa misa #death note

[cegantheayugipi]

The Last Padisarah Pudding, Your Last Straw (Alhaitham x Reader)

An Alhaitham x Reader Enemies to Lovers One-shot

Word count: 4.9k

Summary: You and Alhaitham have been rivals ever since your first year at the Akademiya. But when things go wrong during a mission given to you by the Sages, you start to realize it's more than just a rivalry...

part 2 is out now!

Finally, you’d be able to beat him. For the very first time, you would be able to break your stalemate – you had the upper hand in your personal competition.

For years, you and Alhaitham were pitted against each other by the Akademiya. The two of you were separately tasked with the retrieval of forbidden knowledge, the sages knowingly exploiting the deep rivalry that was first founded during your student years at the Akademiya. They, of course, were always right. Their choice of disciple for this mission was carefully curated from several different options, knowing the rivalry between you and Alhaitham would produce results faster than anything else.

~7 years Ago~

“Sage Salazar’s tests are notorious for the abysmal pass rate, don’t worry.” One of your classmates consoled another, their words mixing in with several disappointed and distressed conversations.

“What am I going to do, I’ll be expelled if I fail one more time!” Another upset student lamented.

“You can always switch to another Darshan, it’s only our first year so there’s still time.” Someone behind you murmured to a fellow classmate. “I’ve heard that Amurta has better professors.”

You sat back in your chair, smug. Of course, you were the best student in the class. You looked down at the tome before you. As a part of the test, you had to fill the entire book with thorough analysis on the professor’s chosen topic. You flipped the front cover open, admiring what was written in large red letters on the front page.

‘99’.

You were so close to perfection, you could nearly taste it. One more point and you’d have a perfect score. All your sleepless nights in the library were well worth the feeling of euphoria that overcame you today. You were such a rising star that you were certain you’d become a Sage in the future.

“I take it you did well?” A voice came from beside you. It was your classmate, and you recognzied him during some of the lengthy lectures when you would spot him in the back of the class, feet propped up on a bench, his nose in a book. There was no way he could pass Salazar’s rigorous exams if he couldn’t even pay attention in class. You smirked, turning towards your classmate – you recalled his name was Alhaitham.

“Yeah,” You nodded, giving him a nod as a smug expression began to grow across your face. "I got a 99.”

“That’s good,” Alhaitham nodded. “It means at least I’ll see you next year in the top class.”

“Oh, really?” You questioned, surprised that he even managed to pass, let alone gain a score that would allow him to join the top class. “What did you get?”

“100.”

You gawked. “W-woah, that’s great!” You sputtered, unsure how to react to someone who managed to get a perfect score on the most difficult test in a class he didn’t even pay attention to. “We basically got the same score, well done!”

“No,” Alhaitham responded bluntly, his curt tone taking you aback. “You got a 99 because that was all you could get. I got 100 because that was all there was to get.

“You…” your brows pinched together as your sentence trailed off. You were in complete shock that he could say something so rude when you had worked so hard for what you had.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you turned in your seat away from him. You didn’t know what hurt more – his tone, or the truth to what he was saying – but you knew for a fact you immediately despised him.

~~~

Ever since your first encounter with your overly-rational classmate, you were stern rivals – if anyone so much as mentioned the name ‘Alhaitham’ in your presence, you would bristle with anger and resentment. Somehow, the silver-haired student knew exactly what to do in order to push your buttons.

You stood in line at the busy food stall inside the Akademiya. You had just spent several hours in the library studying, and were absolutely famished. You always ordered the same thing from this place, and enjoyed your mid-afternoon snack that kept you going through hours of pushing your brain to its limits.

“What do you mean, there’s no more Padisarah Pudding?” You questioned, your brows furrowed and eyes wide in disbelief. 

“I’m sorry, we just sold our last one a couple of minutes ago.” The attendant behind the counter responded apologetically, “Is there anything else you might like?”

“N-no, i’ll just have some tea, thanks.”

The attendant handed you the cup of tea, and you mumbled your thanks as you turned away dejectedly. You supposed you could go down to the city for some of your favorite snack, but that would take up precious time you could be studying instead.

Resigning yourself to sit and drink your tea, you walked over to the dining area only to spot Alhaitham at one of the tables – and in front of him sat not one, but two Padisarah Puddings.

“Why, you!” Brimming with anger, you narrowed your eyes at the silver-haired classmate.

“Hm?” Alhaitham mumbled, not even bothering to look up from the book he was reading.

“Why do you have two puddings?”

“I was feeling particularly hungry today.”

Your eye twitched from his sheer audacity. Both of you were well aware that this was your snack of choice, and Alhaitham bought two merely to get on your nerves. Knowing his intention, you decided to bite back with your own remarks.

“Oh, I forgot how much you need to fuel those ridiculous man muscles.” You scoffed, “But make sure you count your macros correctly, because I have a feeling the extra Padisarah Pudding might throw them off a little.”

Out of the corner of your eye you spotted Alhaitham’s eyebrow twitching. He finally looked up from his book, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Perhaps you should watch yours too.” Alhaitham spoke poignantly. “They shouldn’t be an everyday snack, after all. Perhaps that’s why your fitness scores are the worst out of all your grades?”

Despite wanting to wrap your hands around his neck and throttle him right then and there, you turned around and began to calmly walk away – it was the best you could do to still seem like the better person. It took all your restraint in order to not snap and say something stupid and hateful. You made it all the way back to the library, to your seat at your desk, and immediately slammed your forehead into your open book.

“Damn you Alhaitham!” You groaned, wishing you could live your life peacefully without him.

~1 year ago~

There was nothing you hated more than the day you finally graduated from the Akademiya. Students from all six Darshans were gathered in the main hall, dressed in formal robes. You, as the Salutorian of your graduating class, were offered the chance to give a small speech. Of course, you were delighted to – if only Alhaitham weren’t the Valedictorian.

He followed up your speech with one that would haunt your dreams for years.

“Firstly, I would like to thank the Akademiya for allowing me to learn and thrive here.” He spoke, his overly courteous tone obviously fake to you, forcing you to roll your eyes. “It has been a delightful six years of study, where I’ve been able to research subjects I could only dream of beforehand. My success in my studies aren’t solely down to my own effort... I would like to thank Y/N Y/L/N for always being there to encourage me and motivate me to do better.”

You gawked at the classmate you hated – both of you hated each other. As Alhaitham continued his speech, you could hear whispers among the other students from where you sat in the crowd.

‘I do see them together quite often’

‘Are they in a relationship?’

‘That’s so sweet,’

‘I thought they were always fighting?’

‘Sounds like couples fights’

Your body began to shake with anger, and your face turned bright red as you stared daggers into your most dreaded rival. The whispers among the people surrounding you only fueled your hatred for the silver-haired student even more. Alhaitham met your gaze as he continued his speech, his expression completely unreadable while you glared at him in return.

“Hey, Y/N, I thought you hated Alhaitham?” A classmate sitting next to you leaned over and whispered into your ear.

“I hate him more than anything.” You muttered, despite the ferocious blush that stained your face. “I wish I could murder him right now.”

~Current Day~

Alhaitham thought this would simply be another boring mission given to him by the sages. Although the prospect of being able to use the knowledge capsule he retrieved for the Akedemiya, he would much rather be deep in the pages of another book while enjoying the seabreeze by Port Ormos. As scribe for Haravatat, he was often given boring missions that he could complete quickly, spending the rest of his allocated time relaxing and reading.

That was, until he spotted you walking around talking to locals. If this were any other occasion, he would probably approach you with something embarassing and humiliating in order to entertain himself, but this time you were dressed in student’s robes.

He immediately knew something was off – you, an Alchemist for the Akedemiya, who had graduated years ago, were walking around pretending to be a student on break. It was often that students would come to Port Ormos around this time of year to relax and unwind, and you were most certainly using this fact as some sort of ruse or disguise.

He decided to get up and move to a different location to read his book, picking one that was within earshot of you but out of your sight, trying to figure out just what you were up to.

“Dori, you say?”

“Most certainly. If you give her the right price and earn her trust, she’ll deliver anything.”

“Even information on a certain Knowledge Capsule?”

“Yes.”

Immediately, Alhaitham stiffened, realizing you were also here for a knowledge capsule, undoubtedly also sent by the Akademiya. He smirked, realizing this was yet another chance to beat you.

~~~

You had finally found the location where Dori, a merchant dealing in knowledge capsules, would meet prospective customers – a quiet courtyard outside a sleepy tavern at the edge of the city. You were there just before sunset, at your agreed meeting time, but there was no sign of the financially-motivated merchant.

You checked the small timepiece before tucking it back into your pocket, anxious to find leads and produce results for the Sages. The air was also beginning to get chilly; you were eager to get back indoors and eat a hot meal.

However, the last thing you expected was to hear a voice that haunted your studies at the Akademiya and your early years of your professional career.

“You won’t be able to find leads on the auspicious knowledge capsule this easily,” Your stomach twisted into a knot at the words you heard.

Of course, it was Alhaitham you came face-to-face with once you turned around. Your lips pulled into a terse frown, your eyebrow twitching with anger as the pieces fell together.

“You’re the reason why Dori is a no-show.” You growled, pointing a finger accusatively at your rival.

“She seems to not be very fond of me,” Alhaitham deadpanned, giving a nonchalant shrug. “I propose you find a proxy, or simply think of a more creative way of finding it before me. Although, I doubt you will.”

“Watch it, asshole.” You spat, “One way or another, I will beat you.”

Your face burning hot with anger, you stormed away from the courtyard. You no longer felt the chill of the evening – the fury pumping in your veins was more than enough to keep you warm.

~~~

After years of agonizing rivalry, when you discovered the scribe Alhaitham was searching for the same forbidden knowledge capsule as you were, you thought you must have done something to anger the gods in a previous life. The mere concept of him retrieving the knowledge capsule before you made your blood boil – there was no way you would ever let that happen.

Once you discovered you both were vying for the same mysterious object, you immediately threw your effort into overtime. Thus, you worked endlessly, even resorting to underhanded methods to obtain such an item. You even contacted a certain suspicious doctor, one who had been expelled from the Akedemiya, and was associated with the shady Snezhnayan organization known as the Fatui – one who was once known as Zandik.

“It’s about time for me to return to my Alma Mater.” Il Dottore sneered, his tone sending chills down your spine. “I’ll supplement your search for this knowledge capsule, in return for aid in bartering for my ownership of it once you return it to the sages.”

Those words echoed in your head, and despite knowing the Doctor was far too dangerous and underhanded, you still took his advice and used the device he had given you. It was a knowledge compass, a small metallic clock whose hands oriented to point towards high concentrations of knowledge. According to the Doctor, it was one of his latest inventions, and he was willing to lend it out to you if he could have the knowledge capsule you found using it.

And thus you found yourself at Port Ormos, wandering the streets disguised as a young child. The cloak around you hid your adult features, and you walked with light steps to mimic children in the street and avoid the attention of townsfolk who passed by.

Staring down at the compass, you watched as the handle flickered from left to right. In the back of your head, you had uneasy thoughts that you’d pay for taking the easy way out later.

Suddenly, the handle snapped towards one direction, firmly focused on some sort of mysterious power. You came to a  complete stop, realizing you were right before a small alley. You were about to enter it when you heard hushed voices prickle at the tips of your ears.

“One million mora. Take it or leave it.”

“No way, this isn’t even guaranteed to be the real thing. I would much rather go through a more reliable channel, like Dori.”

“It’s your loss, then. I can guarantee you, this is the real auspicious knowledge capsule. You have no clue how many people are trying to get their hands on it.”

At those words, you knew it was the right knowledge capsule. You tucked the compass away, shrugging your shoulders as you tried to put on your best childlike impression.

“Have you seen my mom?” You stepped into the alley and asked in a baby-like voice, your head facing the ground.

“What the hell?” One of the people in the alley exclaimed at your sudden appearance in front of them. 

You flashed forwards, snatching the glowing capsule before scaling the wall and disappearing over the rooftops. You jumped across several houses before disappearing into a knoll in the giant tree trunk that towered over the city. You might have mediocre strength compared to most of the skilled Academics, but you could move fast for short periods of time.

The three men you had just stolen the knowledge capsule from were hot on your tail, but you quickly ditched the disguise and returned to your normal appearance. With the capsule carefully tucked away in your pocket, you walked nonchalantly through the port. The men rushed past you, racing through the streets in search of a small child – not a lazy student who looked like they wanted to kick back and relax after their final exams.

“Where the hell is that kid?!” You heard one of them shout. You did your best to hide your smirk, slowly making your way towards the city gates to head back to Dottore’s lab.

What you didn’t notice, however, was the glint of silver hair that poked out from behind a stack of crates – Alhaitham looked up from his book at your retreating figure, realizing you had finally gotten your hands on what he wanted.

He knew reporting your collaboration with the Fatui to the sages would only result in you reporting his shady actions in return, so instead of following the rules, he chose to shut the book he was in the middle of reading and see where exactly you were headed. After all, it seemed like you had made progress – and Alhaitham couldn’t stand to see you pulling ahead in the game.

He always loved to piss you off. He could tell by the look on your face when when you were cursing at him internally. He loved how satisfying it was to beat you; you were always someone who did everything in their power to be the best, and it felt so much better to beat you when compared to beating any other academic he had the displeasure of getitng to know.

Relishing the idea of spying on you to figure out how he can outsmart you once again, Alhaitham began to slowly walk towards your direction. 

~~~

“Doctor, I’ve brought back the compass.” You bowed in front of the green-haired man, extending one arm as you held out the intricate device.

“Thank you,” Dottore reached out, his gloved fingers tracing along your forearm before reaching the palm of your hand where the compass rested.

You shivered at the way he unnecessarily touched you, wondering why he felt the need to do that.

“I presume you’ve already found the auspicious knowledge capsule,” Dottore smirked, although you couldn’t read his expression through the mask he wore.

“Y-yes, I’ve brought it to the sages already. We can-”

“Ah- ah- ah,” Dottore cut you off, shaking his head as he spoke. “I believe you still have it on yourself.”

Unbeknownst to either of you, Alhaitham was hidden away behind some of Dottore’s strange machinery that he had strewn aside from one of his projects he had abandoned. He listened in on your conversation, realizing exactly who you had made a deal with – and just how deep you had gotten yourself into trouble.

Your eyes widened with fear, realizing Dottore could see through your facade. He was correct – you had gone straight from Port Ormos to Dottore’s laboratory, with no intention of giving it back to the Sages just yet. This knowledge capsule seemed different – it glowed white instead of green. The contents of the capsule were kept vague, nobody seeming to have any idea as to what could be inside of it. You actually wanted to study the capsule more than anything, hoping that you could make some sort of incredible discovery that Alhaitham could never beat.

“I’m sorry,” You immediately shifted gears, understanding what kind of person you were talking to – if the rumors were anything to go by, he was one of the most terrifying people in the world – if he was still a person at all. You should have known that he would have incredible senses, and would be able to tell you still had the capsule on you.

“That’s okay,” Dottore stepped closer to you, his shadow completely swallowing you as he towered above your height. “After all, you’ve done everything I’ve asked for. How could I complain about a little lie?”

You began to cower with fear, realizing that nobody knew where you were right now. If Dottore ended up doing something to you, nobody would ever know. With a cold gloved hand, the Doctor reached out and cupped your cheek. With the other, he slid his hand down your side, his fingers slipping into your pocket to pull out the glowing capsule. 

Your lips quivered as you watched Dottore marvel at the knowledge capsule you had essentially delivered to him on a silver platter.

“After all, you’ll be my first subject to test its contents on.”

Your heart dropped like a rock into your stomach at the realization that Dottore had no intention of letting you leave. You immediately tried to escape, but his hand on your cheek instantly slipped around your neck, lifting you off of the ground as you flailed. Your hands immediately went up to wrench at his unyielding grip. It was like a ring of metal was locked around your neck – his hand simply wouldn’t budge. Your feet swung beneath you, your toes pointing as you tried desperately to find any solid ground to stand on.

“I’ll feed you the knowledge bit by bit, and see how much you can tolerate before you go insane.”

Alhaitham peered around the side of the machinery that hid his presence, witnessing the Doctor engrossed with you as he vocalized how he wanted to experiment on you. His sickening words settled uncomfortably in Alhaitham’s stomach, making the Scribe feel anger and fear that he hadn’t ever felt before.

‘What?’ Your mind reeled at Dottore’s announcement, somehow able to make logical connections despite the stress of the situation. ‘Knowledge capsules should be easily digestible instant knowledge! Could it be, that it’s this highly prioritized by the Sages for a reason, and it’s because humans can’t tolerate it?’

Let’s start with… two percent.” Dottore sneered, and you couldn’t say anything in protest as he cut off your airway.

You writhed more and more desperately as he raised the capsule towards your face, its colorless luminance enveloping your entire vision.

This just might be it. Your rivalry with Alhaitham might have finally gone too far.

You began to close your eyes, your body falling still as you gave up on trying to escape.

Alhaitham couldn’t stand it anymore, he couldn’t bear to watch you get hurt; Dottore was going to drive you mad with his experiments, or worse – kill you. He moved with breakneck speed as he slashed the inhuman Doctor’s arm clean off, rescuing you from certain doom.

A loud crash resounded through the laboratory as you found yourself flying across the room, landing in the arms of someone strong and warm. The white light was gone, and you blinked as your eyes adjusted to see Alhaitham hovering above you.

“WHAT!” The doctor exclaimed, and you realized his voice was now suddenly far away. You glanced in the direction of the voice to see Dottore standing on the other side of the room, missing one arm. Sparks were coming out of the stump that his arm once was, a telling sign that his body was actually part robot. Dottore’s other arm was frozen in the air, still holding onto the glowing capsule, and it seemed like he had some sort of process malfunction.

Alhaitham had carried you across the room to set you down. You felt his warm hands around your neck, and watched as his arms flexed and his shoulders strained. Suddenly you heard a snap and you could breathe again, the metallic fingers of Dottore’s robotic arm finally broken away from your throat. You gasped for air, sitting up on your own as you were finally free from the Doctor’s clutches.

“When will you realize I’m just better?” He smirked, helping you up.

“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Not without the capsule.” Alhaitham spoke, running back towards Il Dottore. The robot seemed to still be malfunctioning as it didn’t react in any way to the scribe’s approach.

Alhaitham snatched the capsule from its hand, quickly returning to where you were still sitting recovering from nearly being strangled and illegal-knowledged to death.

You tried to scramble to your feet, but you stumbled. You were caught by an arm roughly hooking around your waist, lifting you off of the ground and racing out of the laboratory.

“Hey! Put me down!” You exclaimed, kicking in protest to the uncomfortable and embarrassing way you were being carried.

“Fine, fine.” Alhaitham relented, “I suppose we’ve fled far enough away now.”

He set you down on the ground gently, and you were finally able to find your balance and climb to your feet.

“That was incredibly dangerous.” Alhaitham warned. “Both of us aren’t afraid of underhanded methods of achieving our goals… but the Doctor is simply far too dangerous. You were incredibly lucky I happened to be nearby, otherwise you might have become a test subject for a mad scientist.”

“I did what I had to.” You crossed your arms as you turned away, scoffing.

“There were several far less dangerous methods you could have used… but thankfully we won’t be returning to the sages empty-handed, since I managed to get the knowledge capsule in the end.”

He withdrew the glowing capsule from his pocket, holding it in the air to examine it. It was at that point that you realized he had won yet again. Not only did he save you from certain doom at the hands of a mad scientist, but he also had possession of the capsule that you nearly died in order to obtain.

“Why, you!” Anger suddenly filled you to the brim once again – but this time it overflowed freely. You lunged towards your rival, hands wrapping around his throat as you tackled him to the ground.

Alhaitham was so taken aback by your sudden violence that you had actually caught him off-guard. His balance faltered and you managed to knock him backwards. He fell onto the soft grass, but his reflexes were far better than yours as he quickly rolled so that you were now beneath him. You looked furious – but he always loved it when you looked that way.

“Damn you, bastard!” You writhed beneath him, unable to escape the cage he had made around you with his arms. Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes; this was the last straw. Time and time again, he had bested you while barely breaking a sweat, and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Why does beating you feel better than anything else in the world?” Alhaitham smirked as he stared down at you, his face hovering mere inches above yours.

You wriggled your arm free, about to land a punch on his smug face, when you felt something soft pressing harshly down on your lips. It was warm, soft – you suddenly realized Alhaitham was kissing you.

Despite how much he pressed your buttons and made you curse his existence, something drew you to kiss back – and it ignited a fire in your stomach. Instead of throwing a punch at Alhaitham, your free arm began to snake behind his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He began to lower his body, pressing his chest flush with yours to the point where you could feel the heat radiating off of him.

You let out a soft groan as he slid one knee between your thighs, hooking your legs down and trapping you in the kiss. His fingers raked through your hair, and Alhaitham knew your hair always looked nice but he didn’t realize just how soft it was now that he could finally touch it.

Alhaitham pulled away, watching you pant as your face burned bright red. Your lips were slightly swollen from the kiss, drawing his gaze to them, and making him want to kiss you even more.

Your eyes raked down Alhaitham’s body as he hovered above you, and you burned with humiliation inside. You hated the way he made you feel – he always got on your nerves as if he knew exactly what to do and say in order to piss you off.

“Why is it always like this?” You sighed, gazing into his jade green eyes. Your silver-haired rival merely smirked.

“Even in the Akademiya, you were always too reckless.” Alhaitham responded. “Always too eager to be the best, as if you’d ever be able to beat me.”

“I hate you.” You mumbled, “The way you always beat me at everything so effortlessly, the look in your eyes when you put on that impudent smirk, how you know exactly what pisses me off the most. Why do you hate me so much?”

Alhaitham’s breath fell still at your accusations; he never realized the things he did made you think he hated you.

“I never hated you.” He responded bluntly, causing you to freeze beneath him.

“Y-you… what?” You stuttered, your blush deepening at the realization your hatred was one-sided. You were at a loss for words, and only managed to stare back up at Alhaitham.

“You’re redder than a tomato.” Alhaitham stated bluntly.

“Hey!” You quickly became angry again, embarrassed at how flustered he had easily made you – and how he had effortlessly kissed you, something that nobody before ever had the privilege of doing. You were always far too invested in your academic career to ever focus on romance or relationships. The kiss gave you a realization, awakening feelings for him that you had no clue ever even existed before this. However, the way Alhaitham immediately switched back to teasing you made you forget all of these feelings temporarily.

“First you stole my knowledge capsule, and now you’ve stolen my first kiss too! I can’t deal with this anymore!” 

“You’re just trying to deny you liked it.”

Once again, he was completely right.

“Fuck you, Alhaitham!” You lunged forwards, wrapping your hands around his neck once again. This time, however, Alhaitham let you push him backwards into the grass. The faintest smile was on his lips as he fell, staring up at your face. Your anger somehow faded into laughter as you tackled him to the ground. You were still angry with him, of course, but for some reason he had become slightly more tolerable.

~~~

Read part 2 here.

#alhaitham ate your damn dessert #alhaitham x reader #enemies to lovers #alhaitham x y/n #alhaitham x you #alhaitham #sumeru #genshin #rivalry #al haitham #genshin x reader #genshin impact #al haitham x reader #al haitham x y/n

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to block evade?

This happened several years ago, so I'll put the ages that we were at the time.

I [17F at the time], had an extremely close friend [17F] of 3+ years, and I still haven't found any kind of friendship that came close to the level of trust / openness that was there. So some of this backstory ranges from 14yrs to 17yrs.

My home was abusive, and she and her mom helped me figure out what was rational vs irrational, normal vs not normal, and pointing out local resources to get help - which was absolutely amazing and I could not thank them enough.

She invited me to her house pretty regularly, a couple times a week. We'd have hours of skype calls. She got me roped into Undertale & the fandom. Well, not that we really interacted with the fandom at large. We only publically posted some of the art and barely got noticed haha. Between the two of us, we had something like 26 AUs and had a lot of rp with multiverse shenanigans - like over 1200+ pages of google docs rp, because that's where we did like 90% of it. After we hit like 100-200 pages, we'd make a new doc so it wouldn't take so long to load. And we had like, at least like 9 docs I think. I was mostly in it for her, because it was really fun to just make up stories together. I could've done it with any fandom she threw at me, undertale is just the one that was popular at the time.

At one point, I think when we were around 16, I asked her if she wanted to start dating. She said something along the lines of maybe in the future, but not right now - she wanted to focus on school. Even though she declined at the time, she did say she appreciated me asking and that it meant a lot to her. And there were 0 hard feelings about the answer, we just kept on going the way we were going.

She got hit with a really bad level of depression, and stopped coming to school. After 2-3 days, I started calling her every day around lunch time just to check in on her and see how she was doing. See if there was anything I could do to help - bring some snacks, catch her up on classwork for the couple classes we shared, stuff like that. This was for couple months. More than just a mental health day, and the only reason she gave was Depression.

After a week or two of the daily calls, there was probably an aspect of toxic positivity on my end. Like "You gotta Do Something to avoid being trapped in your misery, even if it's just baby steps like sitting outside on the porch or going on a walk down the block" Not maliciously, but more out of not knowing how to handle a situation like this & genuinely wanting to help her because of all the help she's offered me in the past & fueled a little bit by fear because Depresssion is the excuse that my abusive parents used to justify their shitty behavior & neglect. Not because I was afraid of what she'd do to me, but more what she'd do to herself. That's one of the only things I could think where I went wrong, which I completely acknowledge and understand now.

She was still inviting me to her house, and we were still doing our normal thing there. Drawing and writing stories together.

After 4-5 weeks [? estimate, time is an illusion] of her not showing up to school, I can't remember if I asked if it was helpful or if she suggested that I stop calling every day. Calling every day was making her feel worse.

I did end up calling the next day or two at lunch - crossing the boundary was not my intent. We had planned to hang out on the weekend again, lunch is just when I remembered & had time to call to ask if she still wanted to hang out or if she wanted some space. I think she said yes to hanging out, didn't mention anything about crossing the boundary. Same with the next day - there was something I needed to ask clarification on, it wasn't a check in, nothing was mentioned of the boundary. I can't remember what it was now. This is another one of the places where I think I went wrong, which I acknowledge & understand.

I did stop the check ins like requested though. After those two off days, I did stop calling her every day at lunch.

She finished out the school year having shown up to class maybe 3ish times, I think.

Again, we were still hanging out regularly. There was no indication that I was doing anything wrong, there was no indication that anything I was doing was wrong. She was still the one inviting me to hang out at least half the time.

There were some problems that I was noticing that I just wanted to have a casual chat about and figure out, but she kept pushing it off as a "I don't have the energy right now, we can talk about it later" and we'd go back to the fun things. I don't really remember what those problems were.

In the summer, I went to a different state to visit my older sister that I hadn't seen in years. I talked to her about it, I was excited for it. We were still chatting regularly during my trip over skype or discord.

And then, during my trip that I was so excited about, she drops this bombshell. She sends me several massive messages detailing out a bullet point list of everything I've done wrong, that she's explicitly breaking off the friendship, and blocks me. 95% of things on that list either flat weren't true, or gross misunderstandings of what happened.

It was genuinely horrible things too.

For example, one of the things on the list was "Suicide baiting" or "Suicide guilt tripping" or something along those lines, which had happened several months if not a year before this. -I've only ever communicated feeling acutely suicidal to her 1 time. -Long before that, she made me promise that if I ever felt suicidal that I was supposed to immediately talk to her about it, for her own peace of mind so she wouldn't worry about me. -I reached a point of feeling acutely suicidal due to abuse at home & general existential dread, that happened to be during a time we had an issue.

I purposefully waited until after the issue was resolved, like 2 weeks, before telling her. I did that specifically so it would not be taken as a guilt trip or a form of coercion while still holding as true as I could to my promise. She made me promise to tell her, it was something very important to her. I made very clear to say "this is something I experienced a couple weeks ago due to unrelated things, it is resolved now, I got help through xyz means and genuinely feel better. You made me promise to tell you so I am telling you, I didn't want to say anything while we were having a problem for xyz reason." I just wanted to talk, and clear up the misunderstandings. I wanted to have a good conversation about figuring out where the communication went wrong, try and figure out how she came to these conclusions, and how that differs from my point of view. Do something to work it out, and just talk about it, and try and salvage this 3+ year friendship.

After I realized I was blocked, I was going through so so many emotions all at once. The whiplash of going from 5 to 100, Upset that I wasn't given any sort of chance to explain, the 5 stages of grief, being thrown away like the gum off your shoe, worrying about her and if this was the stage of isolation for depression, holding out the hope that we could still just talk and work things out, angry that she kept pushing off and refusing to have any sort of serious talk before this, doubting if anything she had said on 'normal vs not normal' - particularly communication styles, thoughts that maybe she was abusive and manipulative all along, maybe I was continuing the cycle of abuse, trauma flashbacks, anxieties that I had since squashed as 'irrational', fear that this was a sign that she was about to fucking kill herself and maybe the whole list was a lie so I wouldn't try and reach out and stop her, doubting my own reality and maybe the entire list she sent me was true and she was justified in her actions.

Simultaneously trying to process intense feelings and realities if it was true and I'm really secretly a horrible monster, if it wasn't true and she was about to die, and old traumas getting dug out of the grave.

God I was such an emotional wreck and did not know how to process or understand anything that was happening.

This is where the AITA comes in -

I was pushing through back to back panic attacks trying to contact her and figure out what was going on. I didn't want her to die, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to be discarded and thrown away like a piece of trash, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to have 0 chance of learning & growing as a person even if this friendship wasn't salvageable due to my monstrous nature, if that's what was happening.

So I block evaded like fckn crazy. Gmail, pet game sites, discord, skype, deviantart, whatever online platform that we shared that had messaging enabled. I called her phone several times. On the 3-4th call, her mom picked up and told me that none of the above was true. That she wasn't about to die, that I wasn't being thrown away like trash, and that I wasn't a monster. She didn't agree with her daughters actions and thought it unfair to me, but ultimately it was my friend's choice. All simultaneously which just did not compute.

If the list she sent me was true, I was a shitty horrible person. If it wasn't, and she isn't about to die, then not be able to just have a calm sit-down conversation at some point about it and clear it up - if I wasn't worth even attempting to make that effort then I was being thrown away like trash. I kept trying for days afterwards to talk to her - just, anything at all. Nothing got through, she never responded to anything.

And... that was that.

I didn't have a chance to talk to her again. I didn't have a chance to clear up misunderstandings, or understand what I did actually wrong and where, or any sort of closure.

Sometimes if I'm remembering it and feeling paranoid, I'll check and see if she's alive by looking at her online profiles for any activity. Like, maybe once a year tops now. According to the petgame sites, she's still alive at least. I'm assuming she got new social media. Literally it's just a "is she alive, do I have to worry about causing her suicide" check, I don't stalk or look into anything further than that.

Anyway, AITA for how extensively & desperately I was block evading?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[benispunk]

One special name

Irondad & Spiderson

There's never enough irondad and spiderson content, and i love and miss them so much. Here's my improvised work from last night. Sorry for my mistakes if there's any!! xx

"Pepper is going to be so mad"

"I'm sure she'll understand, Mr.Stark. Right?"

Peter fidgets with his fingers, suddenly feeling extremely nervous. They were stuck in an elevator. Peter had followed Tony around all day, per Tony's request who just wanted to spend time with him during his very boring-full of meetings-tons of work-day.

This afternoon meeting happened to be outside of the Tower, in a building Tony or FRIDAY had no control over and which’s elevator, as they had seen, wasn't reliable. What was funny about this day was that Pepper had taken their phones so that Tony wouldn't be distracted.

"Stop treating me like a child!"

"Then stop acting like one." Pepper deadpanned earlier that day when Tony had refused to leave his penthouse.

He found the situation ironic, really. First, he doesn't want to go to work, then they take away his phone only to agree to Peter's presence who is almost 100% of the time the reason why Tony is always distracted, then they schedule meetings outside his workplace and life blocks him in an elevator. What a perfect a day.

"Why are you laughing?" Peter asked, clearly trying to ignore the signs of a panic attack. Tony seemed to realize that and forces Peter to sit down on the floor next to him.

"'Cause I didn't want to go to this meeting and even when I can't control it, life fulfills my biggest wishes". He watched as Peter huffed a laugh but didn’t seem to relax at all.

"Hey Pete, we're gonna be okay. And if there is a problem, need i remind you that you're Spider-Man and I believe to be Iron Man myself so..."

Peter chuckled this time, which made Tony smile in return.

"Right. It's just an elevator."

"Just an elevator. And it's pretty clean too, look at that." Tony pointed at the floor around them to distract Peter some more.

Suddenly, they felt the elevator move for an instant before it stopped again. The sound it made got Peter's ears to ring loudly. He immediately covered them with his hands and winced.

Tony instantly put his arms around Peter's shoulder to protect him. But the elevator didn't move again. They were definitely stuck now.

"It's okay, it stopped."

Peter slowly uncovered his ears and leaned against Tony's side.

"I'm sorry you have to be stuck with me" the teenager whispered, not quite enjoying the moment either.

Not only did he have to be stuck in an elevator, which is already one of the worst things that could happen to him, but Tony had to be there when he was totally freaking out over this stupid situation. Not forgetting the fact Tony was busy.

"Excuse me? That's probably going to be my favorite part of the day."

"I'm not joking, Mr.Stark. You shouldn’t be taking care of someone like me like that. And you're gonna be late."

Tony frowned.

"Okay, I think we're not on the same page right now." Peter felt Tony's perplexed stare on him. He decided to just brush it off and move away from Tony's embrace, already feeling embarrassed enough.

"Forget it, I'm sorry."

"You come back here, you're scared and I'm here for you, that's what it is." The man declared, scooting closer to Peter.

Tony waited for Peter's reaction but he didn't move. He was huddled up in the corner of the elevator. Tony sighed in defeat.

"One day you'll understand that you're as important to me as you make me feel in return."

"I don't think it's actually possible, Mr.Stark." Peter mumbled back, making Tony laugh out loud.

"Pff. Try me. You don't even call me by my name."

Peter lifted his head up with a gasp.

"Mr.Stark is your name."

"That's my old man's name. I'm Tony. Tones. Anthony for those I hate the most. Stark for the annoying ones."

"Yes, but you'll always be Mr.Stark for me." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Alright, Mr. Parker."

"No." Peter retorted, already knowing Tony was never going to stop.

"What did you say, Peter Benjamin Parker ?"

He had no idea how it could get worse than that.

"How dare you?"

"I'm not hearing you, Spider-Boy ."

Okay, now he knew.

"Tony, stop it please." The man in question raised his hands up in the air in triumph.

"That's my boy !" Peter chuckled and leaned back against Tony's side.

"I'm kidding, you know? You can call me however you want. Even the stupidest nicknames." Tony declared and looked up at him.

"Do you have stupid nicknames?" he asked.

"One time a guy called me Tony Stank."

Tony grinned when he heard Peter's loud laugh again. He doesn't think he can live without hearing his kid's laugh ever again.

Suddenly, the elevator started moving again, this time smootlhy and without any problems.

"Looks like we're going back up again."

They raised to their feet and waited for the doors to open to the meeting's floor.

"You'll wait in the corridor? It's pretty boring, i don't want you to endure these guys anyway." Tony said before the door opened and they were leaving the terrible elevator behind.

"Yeah, no problem"

Peter sat down on of the chairs and watched Tony approaching the meeting room, but before he could enter Peter stopped him,

"Oh and Mr-I mean, Tony?"

The man turned back around and nodded at him to go on.

"Even...Even Dad?" Peter's voice was shaking. Tony stood frozen in astonishment. He was not expecting this. But saying he hadn’t dream about it felt like a lie.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah that's a perfect name"

Peter grinned and Tony sent him a wink before finally entering the room.

#spiderman #peter parker #peter parker and tony stark #irondad #spiderson #mcu fandom #mcu fanfiction #spider man fanfiction #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 writer #ao3 author #irondad and spiderson #irondad fanfiction #irondad spiderson

[throwaway-yandere]

Worksheets (Yandere!Alhaitham/Reader)

A/n: What's this, Ansy? Planning on two Alhaitham fics??? Are you not loyal to Dain or Ayat– Speak not, my comrade. Don't tell me that the new Archon Quest wasn't delectable lmao. Also, today was the first time I got a tip, and I??? I've never known happiness quite like that. I'm crying. I will remember you forever, "mommy milkers", I'll dedicate this fic to you ;;-;; (I'm pretty sure I know who you are "*chomp* *chomp*" but that name is entertaining lmao.) On another note, kinda loved how this fic turned out and this is prolly the closest thing I'll ever write to a "lime" lmao.

Unreliable Synopsis: (Student!Alhaitham era) Studying 20 languages is quite an exhausting task. It's a great thing Alhaitham is eager to help his "study buddy".

Cw: yandere themes, implied drugging and non/dubcon. Please don't read this if you're sensitive to the content mentioned. Your mental health matters.

—--------

Alhaitham, like you, is not the type to strike up an amusing discussion while he has a book in his hands. So he laid down his book and decided to take yours as well.

As Akademiya students, you are both bound by a single, exhausting clearance requirement: master 20 languages before graduation. So far, you think you're passable at best on writing romanized Inazuman script and laughable at worst on pronouncing proper Liyue intonations. You can already count yourself as one of the many students that won't see the light of employment next year, but Alhaitham won't let you sulk so readily.

"Time's up. You're done, right?"

He slid the textbook off the table and began flipping through your work.

You didn't reply. Instead, you felt the weight of your head on both palms. It's not that you're unable to reply. You just don't want to admit how illiterate you are in foreign linguistics.

"(Y/n), look at me when I'm speaking."

"I accept my fate." You muttered, soundly defeated. And then, you let yourself rest on the table. "Here lies (Y/n) (L/n). May they finally learn how to pronounce 印 properly in the afterlife."

Alhaitham rolled his eyes.

"Should I help send you off to Aaru Village? Want a proper goodbye from your old study buddy?"

"That would be quite nice, yes."

"Sure. I'll be happy to do that." He stopped flipping through the pages and focused all his attention on you. "If you started acting hysterical and destructive. But you're not. You're just miserable and reserved."

"Thanks for that wonderful assessment, Professor Alhaitham. I'm sure studying neurophilosophy helped you come up with that conclusion. Oh, your brilliance never ceases to surprise me!"

Alhaitham chuckled. His chuckles are almost always short-lived and 100% condescending. 

"(Y/n), language is simply not your forte. But you do wonders in mathematics since we are almost on the same level."

You glared, finally meeting his gaze.

"Must you always brag about yourself whenever you try to cheer me up?"

"Hmm?"

"Lord Kusanali– don't tell me you haven't noticed that about yourself…"

He lightly smacked your head with your textbook. You winced, exaggerating your pain.

"Our conversation isn't about me, it's you. Now, enlighten me, how on earth did you manage to mistake Snezhnayan scripts in a Liyue assignment?"

"E-Eh?!"

You snatched your book back.

"Holy shit. You're right."

You may not like beer, the first time you drank one it tasted funny, but at that moment you decided that once exams are over you're going to get completely inebriated.

Alhaitham watched you reread your work and fondly memorized the way your eyebrows knitted and your eyes skimming through the pages. Your fingers gripped that book as if your life depended on it. That might as well be true knowing your passion for your degree, but he simply wished you will spare part of that zeal for him.

He used to study alone until you showed up. Freshman year was brutal and unkind, but when you insisted on becoming his partner the world had taken on a vibrant hue. Alhaitham never asked for a partner, but your proposal was enticing that he had to say yes. He lied and said he merely wanted to see where this would lead him before, but now he is proud to say he did not regret that decision. It's a shame that your persuasive techniques do not work well with complex Liyue scripts, if they did you would've aced these tests.

"Ugghhh... I hope I get buried raw so I wouldn't have to worry about funeral expenses too..."

Alhaitham did not mind that he's helping you work on your quote-unquote "bane of existence." Students at the Akademiya sometimes fear group work, but he's not one of them. He hopes for one in each subject should it entail that you'll be beside him. Should the assignment be on a frost-prickling mountain, he still wouldn't hesitate to tag along if it meant sharing his cloak and warmth with you. Alhaitham doubts he cares about any other factors. As a friend and intellectual collaborator, you've become irreplaceable.

That's why he won't let you fall behind.

"Chin up." He patted your head like you would a cat. 

"H-Huh?"

"I said chin up," Alhaitham spoke, uncharacteristically soft. "I'll be right here beside you until we graduate."

You smiled, not at all comforted but grateful for the gesture. You sat up straight. "Thanks, Haitham."

When given the option to either comfort or critique, Alhaitham doesn't hesitate to choose the latter. This small moment made you happy. Back then, he used to be rather cold and skilled at getting you off his life. You subconsciously began to grin. Your friend Lisa was right, he softens when he's with you–

"Which is why I'll be sending you additional practice sheets for you to work on," Alhaitham added bluntly, his words dropping like a hammer. "I'm not letting you play games until you perfect writing these scripts."

Your eyes stared coldly back at him.

Nevermind. Forget it. He's the same as he had always been.

"Way to ruin the moment, Future Grand Scribe."

—----

Three days have passed and it's the last day of your dreaded linguistics exams.

Well, that sounds more significant than what it is. It's the last day of ALHAITHAM'S MOCK EXAMS, which is what it actually is, but you can't help but feel nervous as you would in a real graded performance. He takes practice exercises and their punishments very seriously. Last time was just a surprise quiz, so the intensity differed greatly.

Alhaitham took a seat at an adjacent table. He was amusingly dressed in a pair of glasses and an Akademiya professor uniform. You'd mock him for believing in you when you claimed you wanted the exam to be as immersive as possible, but his execution is far too effective for your liking. For crying out loud, he even received the alchemy professor's signed permission to borrow his room!

"For your last test, you need to translate this Liyue text back to Sumeru scripts. I'll give you… 30 minutes for this." He said, adjusting his timer. 

Alhaitham cast a sidelong glance at you, pretending not to see your apprehension. His fingers lingered over the reset and split buttons.

"Are you ready?" 

You felt your palms beginning to sweat.

"S-Sure."

He didn't care what your answer was– no professor would ever wait for a student. Alhaitham flipped the test paper to its front page.

"Timer starts now."

Nervously, you picked up your pen and paper and started reading. Alhaitham left the timer on top of the table and went back to drinking his cup.

Alright, here we go.

Decoding it was simple, at first. The start felt like a canned script for a traditional romantic light novel. You translated the messages back to your native tongue. Then, things started to become a bit complicated.

'I've decided to be entirely honest and truthful in this letter, so I'll start from the very beginning. I used to despise you.'

Your nose scrunched, amused. What an introduction. You pointed your pen in his direction.

"Is our friendship over, Haitham?"

He glared. "Quit talking. 29 minutes and 38 seconds–"

"Alright, alright. Geez."

'But you were so relentless that I couldn't help but cave in. Who wouldn't? You're personable and you share my beliefs about research autonomy. It's difficult to find someone who is an expert at both. You'd know that best.'

'It's pitiful that I can't handle the notion of losing you once this is finished.  Many people do not consider me to be empathic and they frequently misinterpret my lack of emotional expression as a lack of empathy. But you've always been so accepting of me.'

'It's a shame that you left me when morning came. I've never felt solitude quite like that wake-up call.'

You grimaced as you continued to read the rest of the paragraphs. Whoever wrote this must be seriously lovelorn and obsessed because they wrote as if they've hopelessly known that their affections will remain unreciprocated beyond half a decade. 

The author went on to describe how they had watched their beloved enjoy their life blissfully ignorant of the misery they had caused him. Given that Alhaitham creates everything by hand, the stark contrast between the material and his precise letterings does nothing to express the writer's frantic confession.

'I can't get the thought of you out of my mind. It's exhilarating. I've never been this stimulated before I met you.'

'I need you, even after our partnership is over.'

You can't get over how, in Alhaitham's fine handwriting, the author gradually spiraled from unrequited love to an obsession that can't be helped.

'You have qualities that no one else possesses. Traits that I want in a lifelong companion. You taught me things I didn't know I wanted for myself. And you are on top of that list.'

'As you're probably aware, you do have a guardian angel. I sometimes answer your assignments for you. Every morning, I pay for your coffee and leave sticky notes in case you overlook your deadlines. These are all unpaid acts of kindness, but they make me feel like I'm laying a better foundation for a relationship with you.'

'I admit, I don't mind following you around like an affectionate dog every now and then. Your schedule is predictable. You even handed me a duplicate with your new phone number on it. It's both pleasant and difficult for me to watch you from a distance, but what else can I do? Everyone knows I'm rather socially inept for this to play out as smoothly as I'd hope so I had to stoop to this method.'

'At least I learned not to break doors this time."

'Once we both graduate, I might not be able to see you again in my life. We will no longer work together as much as we did before. I wouldn't be able to see you laugh or make excuses just to touch you. I like being near you. Even if you consider me as a one-night stand. Even if you consider me as your biggest mistake.'

You looked at Alhaitham with a face that ridiculed his choice of picking this creepy excerpt. He didn't so much as move and continued sitting at the table, staring at you robotically calm.

You hope this Liyue person has already been apprehended by the Millelith.

You resumed deciphering after deciding to trust whatever bizarre letter Alhaitham had assigned to you. You were beginning to feel sorry for the person Alhaitham obtained the love letter from and its intended recipient... You wouldn't be astonished if Alhaitham pulled this letter from the hands of a mad scholar and deemed it a worthy linguistics exercise.

'You're mine and you will learn to love me. I've already decided on that.'

'I'm sure that declaration is bound to scare you, but I genuinely meant it. I can understand if you react violently. I wouldn't hate you if you tried to contact the authorities, but just know that eremites are useless against me.'

You scowled. Perhaps your study companion wanted you to be wholly aware that translating is not an easy task. If so, you're impressed by his dedication. You'd never read a letter like this again.

Then it got worse.

'That's why I need to take control again.'

'I need you to open your eyes– I need you to know that without me, you cannot survive in a world beyond academics.'

'You need me just as much as I need you, too.'

'So when will you invite me back to Dorm 569?'

You stopped reading and you felt the clip of your pen snap. 

Slowly, you turned the paper to its back. Your eyes were glued to the table, unable to look at your study partner's face.

"Alhaitham…" You laughed sheepishly. "Do… Do you have to go above and beyond writing such a… personal sounding example? You know, the Akademiya doesn't allow plagiarism—especially when it's a creepy love letter."

Being batch-mates with Alhaitham, you're well aware of his eccentricities. And being batch-mates with you helps him pretend that there's nothing creepy about knowing a few minor details too.

But this is… is not one of them.

Alhaitham placed his mug down and began to peek through your worksheets behind you.

"Five minutes left, I'm guessing you're on the last paragraph?" He spoke as if your concerns were nonexistent.

"Of course I'm on the damn last paragraph!!!"

You immediately covered your mouth, looking around the room if you had disturbed others, before being staunchly reminded that you are alone. With him.

It's like reading a horror story at home alone on the weekends. The setting is safe, you trust Alhaitham, but your heart is restless.

Dorm 569. 

It's your dorm number but it's not an innocent suggestion if– when it comes from him. The implication was sinister and cruel. There is a historical context that vastly changes the flow of this conversation. A context that you don't want to address plainly.

"This is just a joke, right?" You gulped dryly. Despite your treacherous nerves, you made a joke. "You're not stalking me, are you?"

He raised an eyebrow.

Alhaitham steadily reduced the gap between you two by holding your chair with both hands. Before you could realize it, he had already closed off all means of escape. You felt his breathing brush against you. Every inch of your body begged for a sprint as his green-orange eyes peered through your soul, calculating as they had always been.

You need to leave.

"You're going to brush off the rest of what you've read and focus on such a minor detail? You're not going to ask if I have feelings for you like a normal person?"

His breath smelled like coffee.

"I would if this fucking letter sounded anywhere close to normal!" You yell-whispered.

You combed your hair back with your fingers, feeling your entire body shaken by his implied agreement. 

"Shit, Alhaitham… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell your ears out– I'm just a bit…" You laughed, sinking your weight on the chair's cross rail but he inched closer, maintaining the distance you had before. "Moved? I'm so bad at vocab, is that the word? Yeah, moved by that love letter, I suppose."

"Don't be sarcastic. You're frightened."

You scoffed.

"D-Duh, making jokes is a coping mechanism. Something you wouldn't relate to, I know."

He didn't move from his position.

You breathed in sharply. "What?"

"You still haven't asked."

"Asked what?"

"If I like you romantically."

"W-Well, you still haven't answered me either."

"Answered what?"

"... Is it true? Are you stalking me?"

He did not hesitate to answer. "In a sense, yes."

What…?

Your stomach flipped at his nonchalant reply. He tilted your chin up. The short distance between you two began to diminish as you felt Alhaitham's hair against your cheek.

"How else would I know your dorm number if I didn't, right?"

You slapped his hand away. "You know what I meant. This isn't funny at all. Please answer me seriously."

"I thought you think of me as a guardian angel. You wanted the truth and I gave you my thoughts." Alhaitham pressed. 

You don't want to believe it.

You don't want to acknowledge that it was someone you trusted who forced you to bed.

"I am stalking you. Tell me– who else would've fucked you senseless that night? Go on, tell me, (Y/n)."

But you knew deep down that it was him.

You shoved him off, but he was stronger than you are. You've seen him in action, he did not lie when fighting eremites are child's play to him. You're his study partner, and you, unfortunately, know him best as he stated in that letter.

Dorm 569. That night was a blur and you've changed rooms since then. Another student, Soraya, began living in your old room. You couldn't bear to visit and see how the freshman was doing. 

You never actively seek parties, and Alhaitham was the same. But one night, you both decided to finally experience the infamous "college life" by attending one. Your brain refused to unfold everything that transpired. Pieces of your conversations occasionally resurface, but they're all mundane yet bitter. Retracing your steps had a major discrepancy from drinking beer to waking up in your dorm with a broken door.

Nothing explained why your study partner was naked beside you, lovingly caressing your hair.

"Were you fantasizing about another man? One of our seniors, perhaps? Are you one of those people who get off on unbalanced relationship dynamics?" 

There was no explanation as to why you woke up screaming. 

And there were no words spoken about it the next time you bumped into each other.

He never mentioned it again.

And you foolishly thought that was the end of it.

"S-Stop…"

"If not our old seniors…  Was it our Ethics professor?"

Your heart dropped.

Alhaitham laughed. His usually calm green-orange eyes that soothed you swirled with what you assumed was jealousy and self-loathing. Two emotions you have not seen before, or at least, did not acknowledge.

You both knew you were scared to face reality. But he doesn't want to play these mind games any longer. Alhaitham already decided on it. You will recall everything. 

His grip on your chin tightened. 

"It's him, correct? I won't forget the way you moaned 'Sir' when I pulled your hair. If I wasn't confident, I wouldn't be wearing this stupid pair of glasses and uniform just to woo you."

You could no longer speak. Alhaitham took it as permission to do anything he wants with you. Just like that night.

His lengthy fingers pinched your inner thigh.

"Then again, I don't think I can keep acting like him. Spiking a drink would be in his list of unforgivable actions I'm sure."

You trembled.

"Still won't answer, (Y/n)? Or would you prefer I call you Mx. (L/n)?"

Alhaitham scoffed, grinning.

"You don't have to answer. We have the classroom all to ourselves to test that hypothesis."

#yandere al haitham #yandere alhaitham #yandere al haitham x reader #yandere alhaitham x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere #yandere genshin #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere fanfiction #yandere oneshot #yandere genshin imagines #yandere male #tag: w - alhaitham #alhaitham #technically aint? but oh well lol #idk what tumblr wants from me #ansy-writes

[amywritesthings]

SEEING YOU, SEEING ME (3/7)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Word Count: 2.7K

Summary: After handling a life-or-death favor for Tess, you're in deep shit. Until she can make things right, she suggests you lay low at her place for the week. The issue? It's also Joel Miller's place, and you're pretty sure he hates you.

Warnings: PRE-TLOU, Mentions of death and violence, Age gap/difference, Slow burn, Angry!Joel, Eventual Smut, Semi-Enemies to Fuckers, Sexual tension, Alcoholism, Drinking/Drinking Games, Suggestive Language, One Bed Trope

( Read on AO3 )

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CHAPTER 3: THEY ARE TWO ALONE

For most of the day, Joel Miller is nowhere to be found.

Neither is Tess, which is a concerning thought nipping at the back of your mind. In this decaying world, a means of communication starts and ends with radio, letters, or simply showing up. You have to trust the other woman knows what she’s doing and leave it at that.

A few days.

You can handle a studio apartment prison on your own for a few days.

While Joel explicitly said not to touch anything, he never said about looking. The apartment is equal parts busy and barren. Quaint and simple yet full of meaningless trinkets scavenged from another person’s trash around the makeshift city. No photographs, though those are impossible to come by anymore. No personal items, though you wouldn’t even know what’s considered sacred to Joel even with a gun to your head.

It’s all acquired junk for places, spaces, meant to fill up a void.

And without touching anything beyond the pans and plates in the sink, there’s not much else to do.

Circling for what feels like the tenth time around the small space, what catches your eye every wrap around is the Top 100 book sitting right next to the FM radio. Its bright white face and pop-art font is sinfully inviting, begging to be opened and read.

On the fourteenth walk-around, your hand reaches for it and hovers.

You shouldn’t.

On the twentieth-seventh, however, you gently peel back a page. Then another.

Soon you find yourself picking up the damn thing to carefully flip through it, but the brick of a book quickly opens and settles to a hardened section: one divided by a notepad disguised as a bookmark. 

It takes a second to realize it’s the same notepad as last night, and your eye gravitates to the title of the page: Top Billboard Hits of 1974.

(Wasn’t it a Barry Manilow song playing when you walked in last night?)

Out of what little respect you can give in the midst of breaking your promise to Joel, you keep flipping, choosing not to pry on the contents inside said notepad.

(He doesn't want to be known, just like you.)

Three hours pass with a ferocious quickness as you stand by the radio, reading annual time capsules of music history soon to be forgotten in the coming years.

(Most of it already has.)

Once you hit a section defining the trends of the 80’s, you decide not to push your luck. You set the chunky white book exactly where Joel left it — a hope that, while you broke what little trust he had in you, the action will go unnoticed.

Circles upon circles you walk to the couch, the bedroom, the kitchenette, hovering over other items of interest as you do. You have to admit: this place has more than what you do at the piece of shit studio space Fedra gave to you in this town, but it will have—

The door creaks.

Stopping in your tracks, you turn swiftly from the cupboards with a dreadful wave of guilt.

Joel shuffles in with a pack slung over his shoulder and an arm full of packaged items. He looks worse for wear, tired, but curfew isn’t for another two hours. There’s still some daylight to be had.

When you lock eyes, you can feel your stomach plummet to the floor.

Joel’s scowl returns, a once-smooth brow now knit with distrust.

“Did you—”

“Nope,” you lie, shaking your head. “Didn’t touch anything. Just… looked around, being nosey.”

“Well, stop,” Joel warns, low and graveled, as he drops the items to the dining table. “Ain’t your place to be nosey about.”

“Right. Sorry.”

The older man begins removing the small pack of chicken eggs, a canteen of goat’s milk, and another bottle full of that amber liquid similar to the one left out last night.

More liquor.

(How does he afford this shit?)

“Is Tess coming back tonight?” you ask from the kitchenette, resting your hips against the counter. You mirror his stance from the morning, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Joel tells you, head bowed as he zips up the emptied pack.

“Oh.”

“Disappointed?”

“Just worried.”

“Why?” Joel asks, tone laced with boredom. “Does it have something to do about why the fuck she’s stuck me with you?”

Your jaw sets, following with your eyes as he drops down at the dining table unceremoniously. Knees spread apart, the man drops one hand to the crotch of his jeans while the other drags the newly acquired liquor bottle closer.

“Staying out two nights in a row past curfew is dangerous.”

“It is,” he agrees. “And she’s doing it for you, so it must be worth something.”

Are you worth anything, is the question you feel souring the pit of your stomach.

Fuck this.

Joel Miller’s a boogeyman, sure, but he can’t do anything to you.

(Can he?)

Pushing yourself from the kitchen cabinet, you walk ten steps to meet him at the dining table. Joel’s minding his own business, too busy checking if the glass from last night is doable for tonight. He doesn’t look up until the scrape of the second chair echoes through the apartment.

Before he can protest, you drop to sit across from him.

“If you give me some of that whiskey, I’ll tell you a little about it.”

Joel’s brow furrows further, scruffy chin tilting with mild curiosity. “You bribing me?”

“I’m suggesting a drinking game, if you stop acting like I’m out to get you.”

It’s a choice, but you stick by it. Feigned confidence, sure, but you lean back into the chair and watch him with your best attempt at nonchalance.

Joel takes a moment to compute the suggestion, visibly confused. “A drinking game.”

“Yeah.”

He chuckles humorlessly. “No.”

“What?”

"Fuck no.”

You can’t stop yourself from gawking, eyes widening. “Why not?”

“Because,” he begins, uncorking the bottle and pouring a glass for himself, “I’m old and know what happens with one of them innocent drinking games.”

“And what happens?”

“People get too comfortable.” Matter of fact. Bitter. Joel stares you in the eye at his first sip. “That ain’t what this is gonna be.”

“What the fuck else do you wanna do while I’m maybe two, three days away from Tess getting herself out of this mess?”

There.

Just enough of an information slip where Joel reconsiders.

“Tess said it was your mess,” he says. 

You straighten your back, chin lifted in defiance. Eye to eye.

For a split-second you blink down at the bottle, then back up to him, waiting.

A game of chicken.

(If you want to know, then play.)

And by some miracle, a groan emits from Joel’s throat. He slaps his hands down on his denim thighs, standing from his chair to grab a clean glass lying around the apartment.

“Un-fucking-real.”

It takes everything you have not to smile, satisfied with the win.

He drops the glass in front of you, pushing the bottle to you to pour your own drink. You take a little less than him, sipping for good measure and grimacing immediately after.

It’s awful.

Fucking terrible, but it’ll do.

“Tess was running a job against Robert,” you admit, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. "So was I. Kind of. She asked for a hand."

Joel sits back down, wincing from sore joints and aching muscles. “You know that piece of shit?”

“Unfortunately. Rations are tight. His supply isn’t.” You gesture to his glass. “Where’re you from?”

“Not answering that.”

“It’s the game, Miller.”

Joel glares, taking a large gulp. “Texas. Continue.”

The drawl now makes sense. You settle in, taking a braver sip. “She might have gotten a little snippy with one of his goons when they implied we owed papers. And... I might have gotten a little overconfident when they tried intimidating her.”

“In what way?”

“That’s two questions,” you say. “What kind of work did you do before all this?”

Joel huffs. “Doesn’t matter.”

“I asked.”

He gives you a look — a warning — before reaching for your glass. He fills the glass higher with the well-water whiskey. “You need to pour better drinks if you’re gonna ask shit like that.”

“Fine,” you agree, airy and unfazed. “What did you do?”

“Carpentry,” he relents. “What d’you mean, you got a little overconfident? A fight?”

“You think Tess would have to run interference for a ceasefire if it was just a punch to the face?”

The rhetorical question hangs between you, uncomfortably so, and all he does is stare. Study. Trying to figure out you, to assess if you’re capable of what you’re laying claim to.

(Are you capable of hurting — really hurting — someone?)

"So you saved her life."

"He won't be attacking her again, if that's what you're asking," you answer with a bluntness learned from the man across the table. "Which would technically be two questions if you were."

After a minute, you take a Joel-approved gulp of the acidic whiskey.

To up the stakes, you finish the glass and push it back to him: pour. He relents, filling the cup to the same amount but not without looking at you with a difference.

“So that's what that string bean of an asshole came talking to you about during that sweep job.”

Your chin tilts ever so slightly. You’re no detective, but you can read between lines. Your lips part, not quite taking the lip of the glass back to your mouth just yet.

“You said you didn’t watch me.”

He takes the gulp you won’t, filling his glass for a third time when he answers.

“I didn’t,” he argues. “Just kept my eye on you.”

I saw you.

"Why?" you ask.

"Is that your question for this round?" Joel mocks.

You narrow your eyes. "Sure."

Joel shrugs, feigning nonchalance. "I'unno, looked heated. I know Robert's goons, as much as don't want to."

"They're pieces of shit."

"That's the generous way of putting it," Joel replies. "Like I said, just kept my eye on you to make sure he wasn't starting shit where it wasn't wanted."

“Well that’s a relief, because I kept my eye on you, too, when they came sniffing around job sites to avoid you.” Joel straightens his posture in his chair, followed by a hum of intrigue. Your mouth opens with an excuse, but the liquor makes you fumble an otherwise smooth night. “I’m— No, not like that. I wasn’t watching you or anything, but just… watching.”

There is a ghostly presence of amusement in his eyes.

“You said watchin’ twice.”

Your nose scrunches with bubbling embarrassment. “...this shit is really strong on an empty stomach. Whatever I say is not on me.”

His chin tilts. “You ain’t had anything to eat yet?”

“You said not to touch anything,” you tell him, sing-song and mocking as you finish off your second. “I listen.”

“Like hell you listen. No one does. Not even Tess,” he chuckles, but shuffles through a brown bag to toss you a premade sandwich from the south mart. You mouth a hasty thank you, scrambling to pick it up. While you devour the plain cheese sandwich, Joel almost makes you choke on the bread. “Thought maybe that piece of shit was a boyfriend or something.”

“A boy—” You stop yourself in a gawk and drop the sandwich, mouth opening with a curving smile. “Joel Miller, are you all of a sudden interested in my love life?”

He coughs into his drink, recovering with a throwaway dismissal. “Too fucking old to care about anyone’s love life, kid, but you’re young. Lot of people would say you still got your whole life ahead of you. Still can… date and do whatever the fuck it is people do anymore.”

“Oh, sure I do,” you slur, happy about the swirling feeling in your forehead. “My whole life. My whole… quarantine zone life. I’m just an apocalyptic Gibson Girl, snatching up Robert’s brain-dead dumbasses and seducing them long enough to drop their guard so I can beat them until they’re a breath away from being a vegetable.”

The obscure reference lost within the rant actually makes him almost laugh, chortled from swallowing the whiskey. “A what now?” 

“A Gibson Girl,” you tell him, unable to stop the smile from breaking on your lips. “You never heard of her? Evelyn Nesbit, the Victorian woman who set the… impossibly high standard for every single woman she came into contact with. The woman that people desired and wanted. Her life was some really morbid shit.”

Joel snorts. “So s’that what you are? Boston’s most desirable?”

“I don’t know,” you modestly respond before you can stop yourself. “You see me, so you tell me.”

That brings an air to a room, thick and somewhere in a fog at your knees. Joel’s eyes wander, dropping lower and settling there or a moment too long before he clears his throat. 

Rather than answering, he pours himself a fourth drink.

You should stop while you’re ahead.

In this lighting — Joel, tinged with a blush from the alcohol that peppers his sullen face, lips plush and parted, free hand resting on the dining table while the other remains in his lap — you feel a familiar heartbeat in your lower belly begging you not to.

The setting sun is long gone. It’s just the two of you, in the dark, in the night, without moving to turn on a light.

“What about Tess?” you ask after a pause, tone softer. “Is she your… girlfriend, or whatever?”

“Tess? I’m—” The forward question seems to sober him up. “Huh. No, no we ain’t. We… take care of each other, but not like that.”

“And what is that?”

“We’re both adults. You know what I mean.” He finishes the rest of his third drink. “So no, not like that. You?”

The feeling in your belly only tightens, scared and curious all the same. “Me?”

“Yeah. Besides the lumped up vegetable, you got anyone?”

You shake your head a little too fast. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone. There's no point, but I get the appeal. Having someone. I just wanna… feel something, even if it hurts a little, if that makes any sense at all.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see it: the hand resting on the dining table curls into a fist. Your breath catches in your throat, pausing your second rant of the night.

(Did you say too much?)

“You should catch some shut eye,” he says.

The sudden change in conversation forces you to look up, uncertain. 

(Apparently so.)

“But it’s still early.”

“And the sun comes up earlier this time of year, too.”

It’s a horrible excuse, but it’s the only one he has in the chamber. Joel pushes his chair out to stand, rubbing his nose with the side of his hand. He stumbles over to the couch behind you, flopping onto it with his forearm over his eyes.

You stay sitting at the table, bewildered by the sudden shut out.

“Maybe you should take the bed tonight,” you quietly offer.

Under his arm, Joel’s head shakes. “You get the bed.”

“If you keep sleeping on the couch, then your back’ll hurt more than it probably already does.”

Something otherworldly happens.

Joel laughs, from his belly to his chest.

“Ain’t no amount of sleep or softness that’s gonna save this back.” Then his own voice softens, unlike anything you’ve ever heard from the older man. “Get your beauty sleep, Gibson Girl.”

Slowly you stand — Jesus, it’s worse when you stand — and eventually stumble your way towards the bed propped on cement. Rather than being careful like last night, you flop onto it and are met with a nose full of musk and cheap cleaning solution.

You grab a fistful of sheets, dragging the rest of your numbed body into bed.

“Goodnight,” he calls from the couch on the other side of the wall, and you smile.

“Goodnight, Miller.”

Author's Note: Things are kicking up a notch in this apartment! You know me... I love my slow burns. The outpour of support and excitement has been unreal. Thank you for your reblogs & comments. You have seriously made my past week wonderful.

#joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller imagine #the last of us spoilers #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou spoilers #fanfiction #fanfic #pedro pascal #amywritesthings #seeing you seeing me

[dear-bunnyboo]

𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐌𝐄 || 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐑 𝐙𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐒

I am very sorry for this. I was feeling angsty and decided to write this heartbreaking fic 🥺 you need tissues for this one, i thoroughly made myself cry writing this one (cried as I was writing, cried as I was editing, cried as I was rereading).

I’m hurt. You’re hurt. I’m sorry again— I’ll make it up to you guys and make sure that the next Trevor fic is 100% all fluff 🤍

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Trevor Zegras x Reader

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐌𝐞 - 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Trevor has some terrible news for you leaving you stuck frozen in time

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: Angst, angst, a lot of angst, crying, cursing, heartbreak, breakup, emotional cheating, pain, falling out of love, the one that got away, flashbacks, dissociation, depressed!reader, in denial!reader to the point of slight delusion, more angst, no happy ending for reader, more angst

𝐍𝐇𝐋 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Friends break up, friends get married

Strangers get born, strangers get buried

Trends change, rumors fly through new skies

But I'm right where you left me

The Earth is a curious and humorous thing. It rotates and rotates and rotates, going along it’s day no matter what— when someone gets a promotion it remains the same rotating sphere , when someone gives birth— bringing new life to the world; the Earth doesn’t even celebrate, when someone dies the globe spins like nothing has happened and their life never mattered.

So it’s humorous to you that you expect it to stop for a few minutes so you could catch a breather. Why should the Earth care about you? It doesn’t. Which is why it continues spinning— doing its job, just like everyone around you were.

Matches burn after the other

Pages turn and stick to each other

Wages earned and lessons learned

But I, I'm right where you left me

Everyone around you continues. Everyone is living their lives, people who lost jobs are going out to look for new ones, people who got embarrassed during a important meeting are dusting themselves off and going on with their day but you didn’t understand how you couldn’t seem to do the same— how could you remain frozen in your own mind.

It has been a year.

A year since it all happened.

A year since you last saw him.

And as pathetic as it sounds, you couldn’t do anything after what had happened.

You continued working, trying to distract yourself after constantly crying and questioning yourself for weeks— you lived with your parents for a couple of months, they took care of you, sympathized with you, and supported you— trying to get you back to your normal self.

But you refused to do so.

You didn’t know why.

Or maybe you did.

Help, I'm still at the restaurant

Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Cross-legged in the dim light

They say, "What a sad sight"

I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

Right when I felt the moment stop

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

They told you to move on. They told you that you would find someone better, someone who would love you wholeheartedly, someone who wouldn’t leave you for someone else, someone who wasn’t Trevor.

But what if Trevor was the one you wanted?

You wanted him still even if he didn’t— not anymore at least.

Every time you closed your eyes to go to sleep, you would see the same thing— the red wine that dropped onto the white table cloth as it shattered across the table— your hand that was holding onto the discarded glass trembling with fear.

You remember the silence— the humming of the air conditioning at the restaurant, the thumping of your heart beating, the sound of your blood pumping in your ears— the sound of your heart trying not to shatter in pieces as you tried to hold it together.

The sound of Trevor’s voice as he explained, his guilty and somewhat pained voice entering your ears as he told you the story of what happened.

That was the last time you heard his voice and you cherished it every time he visited you in your sleep— your salty tears falling on your lips as you imagined his voice lulling you to sleep just like he used to do.

I, I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

They expected me to find somewhere

Some perspective, but I sat and stared

Right where you left me

You were so beautiful in your elegant back dress. Sitting in your seat— the same table you and Trevor would always reserve every time you ate in your favorite restaurant— the tiny little area secluded for just the two of you. It was your favorite place. The same place where he took you on your first date, the same place he asked you out to be his girlfriend, the same place you spent celebrating your first year anniversary— the same place where he broke your heart, the same place where he promised to propose, the same place where he said goodbye.

The same place where he left you.

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You left me, you left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You remembered how excited you were when you got a call from Trevor telling you that he wanted to talk to you— that he was gonna take you out to the same place. You remembered the huge grin on your face as you nodded in agreement giddily even though he couldn’t see you through the phone.

He loves you.

Your mind was running a hundred miles that second, thinking of all the possibly that you didn’t catch the edge in his voice. You remembered telling him that you loved him and getting a hum in response— you didn’t seem to catch it at the moment because of your excitement.

He loves you.

You remembered running to your room to get ready. The new black dress you recently acquired now sitting perfectly on your body— the pretty little pins you placed on your hair as you pinned them up.

He loves you.

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

How it was supposed to be

You remembered how excited you were when he finally knocked on your door— you bolted in your heels opening the door to reveal Trevor looking down at his shoes before looking up at you— he looked sad but you didn’t seem to notice at the moment.

You gave him the biggest smile and the biggest kiss. You failed to notice him stiffening against you but he kissed you with the same passion— at least he was trying to.

Trevor loved you. He truly did. Throughout four years of dating, his love for you was real— he still did love you. Just not the same way he did. He wasn’t in love with you anymore. Trevor knew he couldn’t keep doing it this with you anymore— not only was he hurting himself but you as well.

He kissed you as if it was his first.

Trevor knew.

Trevor knew it was the last.

He was saying goodbye to you.

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

And you're sitting in front of me

At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want

Cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right

As the two of you arrived at the restaurant— Trevor made sure to remember every last bit of you— he was hurting too but not as much as you were gonna be.

You really did thought.

You remembered thinking that this was the moment. You remembered your heart racing thinking that he was finally gonna go down on one knee. You remembered praying for him— not knowing that he wasn’t the one.

The same thing replays in your head every time you closed your eyes.

“I need to tell you something.” Trevor said somberly.

You remembered holding your breath but all you did was lose it.

You couldn’t breathe.

The same thing plays in your dreams, the same scenario, the same ending.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am but I can’t keep doing this to myself, to you— I-I have fallen out of love.”

He said it as if it was the easiest thing that could happen.

How does one fall out of love?

How does one love you for four years and suddenly not anymore?

How does one mend a broken heart?

He loved you.

I, I could feel the mascara run

You told me that you met someone

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

What was probably even more painful than finding out he fell out of love with you is the part when you find out he fell in love— with someone else.

He loves someone else. He feels the butterflies for someone else. He wake up for someone else. Not you— not anymore.

You remained quiet, staring at Trevor as he continues to explain and apologize but you refused to listen. Your tears trickle on your face, the mascara running along with your tears but you didn’t seem to care— the wine glass you were just holding now lay broken on the white table cloth— tinting it red as you notice the waitresses entering from your peripheral vision, alert by the sound of glass breaking.

They quickly excused themselves as they saw your state but you knew they were listening somewhere, gossiping to each other— they pitied you.

It was a sad sight.

Help, I'm still at the restaurant

Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Cross-legged in the dim light

They say, "What a sad sight"

I, I stayed there

You were stuck— you couldn’t escape. It has been a year and you were still there reliving the same scene over and over again, feeling the pain over and over again. You didn’t understand why you were doing this to yourself, maybe because a part of you knew that this was the only way you would get to see and hear Trevor again.

It was pathetic.

Maybe because you knew that every time you go to bed and dream about it all over again, you wished you would see a different outcome— maybe this time he does propose.

You were hurting yourself.

Maybe because once you went home that night you cried out all you water weight leaving you numb to the feeling and maybe the pain of reliving the same scene made you feel again.

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

I'm sure that you got a wife out there

Kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware

'Cause I'm right where

I cause no harm, mind my business

If our love died young, I can't bear witness

You heard things throughout the year. Of course you did. Perks of having dated someone famous— they always talk about him and her.

Just like how they use to talk about your relationship with Trevor, they talk about his new girl.

They say how happier he was than he was with you which was l another slap on the face— you didn’t see how miserable Trevor has been with you the last years of your relationship.

You wanted to be happy for him for finally being happy but you couldn’t find the courage to do so. You wanted to be happy for him and her. You wanted to be thankful to her for taking care of him, for loving him the way he deserves— you really do.

But you couldn’t find yourself to do so.

You were stuck.

You were stuck while they lived their lives— there were talks and rumors of an engagement. Which slapped you harder than the previous. They’re talking about marriage— they’ve been dating for a year and he was gonna propose— it wasn’t confirmed nor denied but the thought alone stings.

Knowing that four years was not enough for him but a year with her was everything to him.

It hurts.

And it's been so long

But if you ever think you got it wrong

I'm right where you left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

Maybe one day you’ll be back together or maybe in another life.

You could only hope you could escape, you desperately want to. You want to live again, you want to love again— maybe in the future someone chooses you and only you, maybe your dreams of getting married in Italy will come true, maybe in the future your dreams of having children and a family will come true.

But as of now all you can do is dream.

Going back to sleep to see him all over again until you couldn’t anymore.

You left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

dividers: @cafekitsune

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @thetortus @groundzerosuki @boobyskeetz @immediatehumor6 @milyswrld @lucyysthings

ೃ⁀➷ comment or message me to be added to the tag list

:) ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ SUBMIT A REQUESTS AND ASK ME ANYTHING!

: ̗̀➛ requests are always open ♡

-𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲ఌ

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x oc #trevor zegras x y/n #trevor zegras x reader #nhl #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #nhl smut #nhl writing #nhl x reader #anaheim ducks

[starsomens]

Can you perhaps write a Noah one shot where it involves person A fell first but person B fell harder

Note: ooo cute! I made Noah person A and Y/N person B. I feel like this isn't my best work but I also think it's really cute, I hope it's okay

*ring ring* the small bell of your cafe rung. You turn and smile to the person who walks in

"ah, look who it is! My best and favorite customer" you say coming to lean on the counter of your front desk. You owned a very small and secluded, but popular cafe and bookstore.

"And it's my favorite cafe bookstore owner. How have you been?" Noah asked as he leaned on the counter. Noah had often passed your small place whenever he was back home in LA, but never went in. He then saw a sign posted outside that read "2 books for 1 coffee" So he had decided to go in and see what it was about.

"So, do I have to buy 2 books to get a coffee?" he asked

"No, not at all. All I ask is for some book donations in place for coffee. The books are then put out for sale or donated sometimes. So, just passing on a book to the next person kind of thing." you smiled at him. It was that smile. That’s what started it all and kept him coming back every time he could.

“So how did the tour go?” You ask him fixing him a cup of coffee. He’s come back so often you know how he likes his cup

“Really tiring but it was amazing.” He admitted “how have the books I’ve brought you been?” He returned the question

“Well, I did read through them and I surprisingly really liked the crime and horror one you gave in! I read through it so fast it was over before I knew it!” You usually read the books he brought before putting them on the floor to give.

Truth was you kinda had a feeling he had a thing for you. More because people kept on telling you and you had finally pieced one and one together. You had finally realized you had some feeling for him when he had gone on tour the first time and you missed him deeply.

You kept telling yourself that it was just a Silly crush that cousins work because of his career. Someone like him couldn’t have had feelings for you! Could he?…

“That’s really good. What about the extra one I threw in there?” He asked

“The romance caught me off guard because you usually don’t bring stuff like that. I haven’t finished it just yet though. ” you inform “I’m nearing the end!”

“Huh. How about we sit down while you finish it?” He asked grabbing the cup of coffee, motioning told his usual spot.

“That sounds really nice” you smile at him grabbing the book and coming around the counter “so why did you pick romance this time around if I could ask?” You ask pulling the chair out and taking a seat

“Oh you’ll see” he giggled.

If he was honest. He was so SO nervous! There was a purpose for this specific book! He never read romance, not until he met you that was. So before he left for tour he left a couple of books in hopes you’d make it to the romance novel in time.

“You know i really did miss you coming around” you admit as you look out of the window. Watching as the clouds began to form, raining was soon to come.

“Awh how sweet” he said slightly sarcastically as he sipped the arm drink “don’t worry I missed coming here too”

“Whenever the bell rang I kinda hoped it was you when I turned” you chuckle “instead it’ll be a group of girls, or my best friend or even that weird guy from the video game store” you said with a slight cringe. He knew exactly who you were speaking about. There was a video game store employee who’s come in nearly every day at the same time to order something complicated just to speak to you longer. Most of the time he would hit on you and it had gotten very annoying even after saying ‘no’.

Some days Noah was there and was able to have the conversation cut short. But since he’s been on tour it’s been tough.

“He’s still trying? Even after 100 rejections?” He asked shocked and you just nod

“I don’t know how else to tell him” you shrug as you open the book only having 3 pages left to read "Kinda feel bad at the same time."

“I could tell him for you” he thought to himself

"You know this is really nice," you said flipping the page "just sitting here with you and coffee you know?"

"Yeah I know....Y/N you know when I was on tour. I did have a lot to think about" he said sticking his hand in the pocket of his hoodie. His hands fidgeting with something

"I can only imagine. Even with all of shows you had to prepare for?" you ask

"Yeah, you can say it's pretty important if it's got my attention during tour" his leg began to bounce "and I just thought that once I got back I should tell you in person instead of just a text"

"Awh how thought- wait. Noah," your eyebrows scrunch together as you examine the book "The book is missing a page! It's the end where he finally confesses! Did you buy it this way?" you ask shocked

"No, no you're right it is where he confesses I just." he pulls out a folded page "have the end with me. Liked it so much I had to take it with me."

You look at him puzzled. What could he have possibly liked about it so much that he ripped the page out.

“Noah, you’re acting weird. More than usual that is” you poke at him

“Oh I’m weird?” He shoots back “why don’t you read what I underlined for me?”

“Okay…” you look to the page and see some words and letters are underlined. “____” your name spelled out “will….you…please….let me…call you….mine?” You were completely lost and once it came to you, you’re entire face burned up! You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks. Your eyes dart between the page and the mischievous smile on Noah’s face , he had this planed all along?!

“Look ever since I came here I thought. I thought….so many things about you. You were so nice and really cool and had great conversations with me.” He admits “then I started noticing how you’d make my heart race. How everyday felt better after seeing or hearing form you. You’re gorgeous, you’re generous, you’re just….so amazing. I knew that I felt something for you…but then I had to go on tour.” He said with a guilty tone

You thought you had feelings before but now it was on a different level. You could feel your heart taking leaps in your chest. Your hands flaky, your mind racing. How could you have fallen so hard and so easily?!

“I….I…” you didn’t know what to say you were just star struck!

“Well?” He chuckled nervously “I-I know it’s kinda corny but you know. You have the book store thing going on and thought it might be cute to-“

“Yes.”

“What?”

“YES- ahem. I mean” you take a breath “I’d, love to go out on a date with you” you smile softly. You test the waters and reach over for his hand that laid on the table. His tattooed hand taking your own and wrapping it in warmth.

“So I’ll take that as you liked the lil plan?” He asked

“I loved it. I didn’t take you for such a romantic Mr.Sebastian” you tease him getting up from your seat and he stood with you

“Well, you could say the thing I was thinking about on tour, or rather the person, was important enough to make me romantic” he smiled pulling you in for a hug

“Good to know”

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @noah-seb-omens

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens #noahsebastian #badomens #bad omens cult #bad omens band #bad omens fanfiction

[sadgirlbaby]

SEX WITH A GHOST - tate langdon x fem!reader (smut)

CW: begging, fingering, nipple kissing, dirty talk, p in v penetration, cumming

SUMMARY: you and tate have been best friends for a year now but you secretly had a crush on him. you knew he was a ghost so you never told him. one day he found out about you secret diary.

“hey y/n” tate called you from downstairs. “shall we watch a horror movie tonight?” he asked you cheerfully. you shouted a quick “yes!” and you went downstairs with your best friend tate.

“what about the shining?” tate asked. he knew you loved that type of horror movies but he also knew you loved more splatter movies.

“mmh, what about nightmare instead?” he asked again.

“yes! which movie?”

“the first one, obviously” he said.

“first I have to bring the DVD, I’ll be right back!” tate said while leaving and going upstairs.

you waited for tate for about 10 minutes, then you finally decided to go upstairs and check.

“tate? are you okay?”

“tate?!” you screamed looking for him. you arrived at your room’s door and opened it.

“tate! I’ve finally found you… what are you doing?” you said while noticing a strange notebook in his hands.

tate didn’t respond, he just kept looking at it so you walked towards him and sat next to him.

“that’s my diary… tate give it back to me!” you screamed and tate stood up, still reading those pages.

“tate!” you tried to grab your diary but tate started to run in the room - he even walked on your bed to avoid letting you have it back.

then tate finally spoke - “I’ve never really understood what was love until I realized I was falling in love with my best friend” he read from your diary. you stopped running and so tate did too. he sat on the edge of the bed and looked at you.

“you like me? I mean, beyond just a friendship?” he asked. tate looked so cute in the moment, his stare made you feel guilty somehow.

“tate… I- it was just- I don’t- I think I like you… yes, I do.” you responded feeling extremely embarrassed and you lowered your head watching your feet.

tate spoke about twenty seconds later - “I like you too, y/n” he said. you immediately raised your head and looked at him.

“what?” you smiled nervously but instantly got serious again.

“I said I like you back” tate said. you couldn’t believe those words. you were staring at tate confused so he realized he had to do something.

he stood up and slowly walked towards you. he looked at your lips and smirked. then he sweetly kissed them. you put your hands on tate’s chest then you slowly let them slide up to his nape.

tate grabbed your hips and brought them closer to his. you let yourself softly moan at that move, then you started kissing tate again. the kiss slowly began to become rougher and you guys fell on the bed. tate grabbed your t-shirt and he quickly took it off and threw it on the floor. you did the same thing with tate’s. in a couple of seconds both of your clothes were on the room’s floor, the only piece of cloth whom was separating your bodies was your panties.

tate started to kiss your neck, then he got lower and kissed your chest. you moaned when you felt his tongue softly touching your nipple. tate arrived at your belly and kissed it, then he finally kissed your pussy through your panties.

“tate… I’m begging you, please…” you couldn’t keep yourself together in that moment. you were 100% vulnerable.

“do you really want it?” he sexily whispered.

“yes…” you wanted to scream that word but you were too breathless to do so.

tate looked at you and took off your panties. he suddenly entered his fingers into your entrance and deeply pushed inside. you moaned out loud and silently thanked god because your parents weren’t home.

“I wonder how many times you dreamed about this moment” he said into your ear. you shamelessly replied “too many times”.

tate smiled and looked at you arching your back under his touch.

“god!” you screamed. you were about to cum onto his fingers but tate suddenly stopped and took them off you.

“what are you doing? tate please…” you said while letting your head falling on the pillow.

“beg for my mercy, y/n, and I’ll make you feel full with my cock” he whispered into your ear, definitely letting you getting wet again.

“please tate, please… have mercy on me” tate looked at you and he possessively grabbed your head, making you kiss him violently.

“I like it rough” he said while filling you with his well-sized dick. you whined and desperately grabbed tate’s back. he pushed deeply and hard, over-exciting you.

you twisted your legs around tate’s lower back. his thrusts became rougher soon and you both orgasmed.

“it was amazing… unique” you said exhausted looking at him.

“I guess you tried something new”.

“what do you mean?” you asked confused while catching your breath.

tate grabbed the blankets and covered both of your naked bodies. he kissed your forehead and said smirking - “you just had sex with a ghost”.

reminder: requests are always open and you can request about whoever you want. I consider any type of headcanons/one shots/stories/smuts/matchups!

+ I accept any kind of tip about my writing/grammar and also about the structure of the imagine/preferences post.

#imagines #headcanon #smut #ahs smut #american horror story #evan peters #evan peters imagine #evan peters smut #smut stories #tate langdon #ahs evan peters #evan peters x reader #evan peters fanfiction #evan peters fanfic #tate langdon smut #tate x reader #tate ahs #tate langdon x reader #tate langdon x y/n #tate langdon x you #smut story #smut scenarios #ahs imagine #ahs fandom #ahs #murder house #ahs murder house #americanhorrorstory

[notroosterbradshaw]

That 100 different kisses list has me thinking about 80 with Rooster 😵‍💫

PROMPT: 80. crashing your lips together during an argument

thank you for this, Anna, angst with fluff for you xx

“I just don't fucking get it,” you muttered after Rooster. He pushed open the door, conscious of you behind him, holding the door so it wouldn’t hit you in his frustration, and you followed him out of the bar and he stomped to the car. “I was not flirting with him - I mean, not the way you 'talk to girls at the bar',” you petulantly used the latter part of the sentence in air quotes just to belittle him a bit more and he threw his hands up, frustrated. “I didn't even accept the drink!”

He stopped and spun to look at you, his eyes dark with rage. “He asked for your number.”

“Again, I didn't give it to him. What did you see that I didn't?” you begged to know. You didn't accept a drink, and you didn't give him your number, it didn't seem deeper than that. Rooster was usually much more comfortable in his own skin and was happy for you to chat with anyone at the bar. “I get to leave with the hottest guy in the bar and you think I'm entertaining the thought of cheating on you... while you're mere meters away?” you were baffled.

He chewed his lip, the cool night air calming a little after the stifling heat in the bar. “He asked for your number while I was standing next to you.”

“And you threatened to put your fist down his throat,” you added.

“And you’re angry at that?” he asked incredulously. “I'm in the wrong here?” he was seething.

“Oh, I get it now. You don't understand why you're the bad guy when you threaten violence to a guy that's hitting on me - and getting nothing, for the record - who walks away like you and I are both batshit crazy?”

He rolled his eyes, digging his keys from his pocket to your car, the Bronco getting the night off. “This is bullshit.”

"No, it's not. You're acting like an asshole and I called you out on it, so you’re having a 34-year-old’s version of a tantrum. I can't even imagine the ramifications if you followed through," you continued. 

“Do you ever fucking stop?” he asked, opening the passenger side, and in grandiose form, pleading you get in the car. “Ma'am, you piece of shit chariot awaits.”

“Fuck's sake, you don't have to take it out on the car, Bradley,” you snipped at him, getting in as he slammed the door behind you. You buckled up just in time for him to slide into the driver's seat and he harshly adjusted the seat and mirrors.

“Jesus Christ,” he started the car, whipping his belt on.

“Oh, my God,” you rolled your eyes, kicking your heels off and putting your feet on the dash. The overreaction was just spectacular. 

“Look,” he pressed the ignition, the car roaring to life. He cursed the music that you were both listening to on the trip here and bashed at the volume mute until it behaved. “I don’t want any guy to feel comfortable around you enough to think that you’re available to them.”

“That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard,” you muttered. “Just drive home. I can’t deal with you anymore tonight. I thought this was going okay, but clearly, we’re on two very different pages here. I’m not going to be possessed by you. You don’t own me, or who I talk to, whether you think I’m leading them on or not. This is about you, not me.”

“I’m in love with you, fuck,” he exclaimed. “Can’t you see that? I don’t want whatever this casual thing is, I want us. You flirting with other guys makes me think I’m fucking drowning and you don’t feel the same,” he didn’t look at you. 

You didn’t look at him, but you sure heard him. The silence in the car was deafening. You’d yet to say those words and although you didn’t want to be casual with Bradley at all, this wasn’t exactly the way you wanted him to tell you he was in love with you - mid-argument. “You’re so fucking ridiculous,” you told him.

“I tell you I love you, and I’m ridiculous?” his tone still rough.

“Do you think that telling me you love me while you’re degrading me is fair?” you yelled.

“Well, no,” he admitted, his hands clutching the steering wheel, knuckles white.

“Fuck, I love you too,” you sighed, rubbing your face and finally turning to look at him, looking right back at you, eyes searching your face desperately. And before you could speak again, his hands drew around the back of your neck and brought you to him, kissing you like his life depended on it - like you were his air. He felt your body and sighed as he felt the seatbelt, releasing it and pulling you closer to him. 

“I love you,” he breathed. “I’m so in love with you. Please tell me you feel the same?” he pulled your hair, panting as he rested his forehead against yours. He knew his actions didn’t represent his feelings and realised he may have ruined everything before it even began.

“I love you, Bradley, I do,” you kissed him deeply, the adrenaline waning and he kissed your forehead. “Please don’t act like that again. I don’t like when you’re jealous. It’s not endearing at all.”

“I won’t,” he promised. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

“I love you,” you reaffirmed for him. He sighed and smiled. Your Bradley returning to you. He kissed you again, gentle and loving

#notroosterbradshaw #rooster #rooster x reader #rooster x you #rooster imagine #rooster angst #rooster drabble #rooster fluff #rooster fic #rooster fanfic #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw fluff #top gun fluff #bradley bradshaw fluff