#and that you got to do some of your favorite things like eat beets or perhaps photograph a squirrel

[myassbrokethefall]

under the wire, happy birthday, david duchovny. I am sincerely glad that you are at a place in your life where you signed off on this as your official merch.

many happy returns, and my offer indefinitely stands to fight you behind the cvs

#hope you had a good day you old so-and-so #and that you got to do some of your favorite things like eat beets or perhaps photograph a squirrel #dd

[ghosts-bandwagon]

May i ask for a female! reader x Johnny MacTavish tooth rutting fluff after some hurt with smut if you're comfortable enough?. They're sickeningly in love with eachother , and between his job that needs his complete and full commitment and her being a busy woman who has a lot in her plate as well ; they barely can get any time for each other but God Knows how much they crave one another's love and touch, how it's painfully hard for them to open Their eyes from the faint memory of eachother, until one day, their stars aligned and got lucky enough to finally meet at the same time, same day after a long time.🤎

I love this!!! I love your brain!!! This is the longest thing I’ve written so far, I was so inspired 😭

warnings: mentions of injuries, nsfw, this is really long holy shit lmao

You were a nurse on base when you first met Soap, you were elbow deep in his blood doing everything you could to stem the bleeding and in his delirious pain-killer infused haze, he thought you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. The way the light above you framed your head in a halo, he was convinced that if you were the last thing he saw before he died he’d be fine.

And when he came to after a successful surgery, he told you as much. Needless to say, you were beet red at his confession. You laughed it off and attributed it to the cocktail of various pain meds churning through his system. Your laugh was the most gorgeous sound he’d ever heard, he decided that everything in the world would pale in comparison to you. Nothing could possibly be more beautiful than your radiant smile, your enchanting laugh, nothing.

It wasn’t until later on that you realized you forgot to set a flow on the IV infusion pump and he was on the minimum dose of pain meds. You sprinted back to his room and fixed it while he was asleep. You refused to admit you were distracted by his beautiful blue eyes.

Checking in on him was your favorite part of the day, he’d always greet you with a beaming smile and you’d find yourself sticking around longer and longer every time you’d check on him. Eventually you found yourself eating your lunch in his room, laughing at his ridiculous jokes, hanging off every word of his stories, exchanging a few of your own. Soon enough, he was occupying your every thought. You found yourself thinking of him as you filled out the discharge paperwork for some of the other patients, wondering what kind of man he is in the comfort of his home, curious as to how he takes his coffee and if he’d ever teach you.

And then he was cleared to return to active duty. The news sat in your stomach like a ball of lead but you were still happy for him, thrilled that he was healed (enough to go back to the field).

“I know you’re cleared to get back to it, but try to limit your activity for the next two weeks or so. Your wounds have healed for the most part but, as much as I loved having you here, I don’t want to see you back here again.” You teased as you handed him his discharge paperwork,

“What if I came back under different circumstance?” He asked, you bit your lower lip in an attempt to stifle the girlish smile that threatened to split your face in two,

“Then I’d be happy to see you again.”

And so it would be. You’d see him pop into your office every now and again, cup of coffee and a protein bar in his hands, it never failed to bring a glowing smile to your face. You’d sip your coffee and eat your bar and exchange a few laughs but one of you always had to run, you loved those small moments but they never felt like enough. When your hands and arms were covered in the blood of a critical case, you’d cling to the idea of seeing him again, the thought was the only peace you’d have amidst the chaos. When Soap was pinned down behind cover with Ghost doing everything possible to assist, he’d think back to the time he brought you coffee and bumped into you leaving your office, spilling it all over himself. He chuckled at the memory of your mortified face as you ran back inside and grabbed as many paper towels as you could, patting him down and apologizing profusely. He could do this for you. He holds on to the next time he’ll see you.

The moments became fewer and farther in between, he used to be able to catch you in your office but you never seemed to be there anymore. He ignored the pain in his chest when he left the styrofoam cup on your desk with a sticky note and your name on it. When you’d chat with Captain Price about the task force, you’d swallow the lump in your throat that would come up when he’d tell you Soap and Ghost were out on a mission at the moment. But everyone is fine for the most part. You smiled at him but it never reached your eyes, you were grateful for everyone’s well-being of course! But maybe you cared about one of them more than the others.

Your rotation was up and it was your turn to head home for a few weeks until you were due back again. It’s been months since you’ve seen anything having to do with Johnny. You didn’t want to go home, not without seeing him, not without knowing he’s alright, not without hearing his voice. Swallowing your tears you wrote a note for him, you jotted down your number and where you lived and how best to reach you and you left the note in his room.

You were a week into your time home and you hadn’t heard anything, you feared the worst. Your friends caught onto your blues and invited you out for drinks. The promise of the burn was tempting so you opted to go with them. You weren’t really in the mood to get all dressed up but still you opted for a nice blouse, well fitting jeans, and some ankle boots with a modest heel on them. You were nursing a mojito and tuned out of your friend’s conversations when you heard your name being called, you looked up at them and noticed none of them were referring to you. Your head perked up and looked around the room and you were met with a striking pair of blue eyes and a ridiculous mohawk, you didn’t even hesitate to get up and walk over to him.

As soon as you were close enough, he pulled you into the tightest hug you’ve ever experienced. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your perfume,

“I’m so sorry, bonnie, I got your note but I lost the damn thing as soon as I got back.” His voice was muffled on account of him being buried in your hair,

“I’m so glad you’re safe, Johnny.” You breathed, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his shoulder. “I was so worried.”

“I’ll always come back to you.”

He turned his head to look at you, his heart pounding in his chest, your eyes flicked between his lips and the beautiful blue orbs burning a hole in your skin.

“Care to make that a promise?” You felt short of breath and could barely get the words out, head swimming, blood thrumming, the alcohol you drank was nowhere near enough to have this effect on you.

“Your place, I take it?”

You couldn’t even speak so you opted for nodding instead. You jogged back over to your friends, said goodbye, grabbed your things, and bolted back into Johnny’s arms. Your mojito and your blues long forgotten. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you in close to his chest, tucked under his arm, his thumb stroked your shoulder through the the fabric of your shirt.

“You look god damn beautiful.”

Your heart was pounding, you couldn’t believe this was real. You were half expecting to wake up in your room alone, but the misstep and small tumble on your part told you otherwise. You laughed as he effortlessly caught you and set you right,

“Careful, bonnie, didn’t realize I’d get you trippin’ over yourself.” He teased, you bumped your hip against his with a giggle. Feeling brave you bit your lip you leaned up to him, mouth dangerously close to his ear,

“You can get me to do a lot more than that, Johnny.” You kissed his jaw with a slow press of your lips,

“Steamin’ Jesus, hen, keep talkin’ like that and we won’t make it to yours.”

Thankfully you didn’t live too far but that didn’t stop the ache in your feet from your heels, you shakily put your keys in the lock, stepping aside once you opened the door to your apartment. When you watched him walk in, you realized it was the only sight you wanted to see for the rest of your life. You stepped in and flipped the light switch, leaning against the wall to take off your shoes.

“You too, Johnny, no exceptions.” You nodded at him with a playful seriousness,

“Yes ma’am.” He sat on the small bench by your front door and unlaced his shoes,

You could get used to hearing that from him.

Now that he was here, you almost were unsure what to do with yourself. Your veins thrumming with anticipation, your hands clenching into fists and unclenching at your sides, he watched you with a chuckle before getting up and walking over to you. He stood in front of you, warm hand on your hip, the other cupping your jaw and tilting your head up to look at him,

“Allow me.”

It was like nothing else. His lips were so god damn soft, they fit against yours like they were meant to be there. You couldn’t help the moan that slipped as you clung to him, your hands coming up to wrap around his neck and bring yourself ever closer. Fuck, he kissed like he meant it. Like you’ve been together for years and this is the first time he’s seen you in while (it’s not that far from the truth). He kisses like his life depended on it, and he really felt like it did.

He walked you backwards until your back hit the wall, he ground his hips against yours when you bit his lower lip and gave it a tug. His hands ventured downward, tracing your curves until they stopped and the soft flesh of your ass, pulling you that much closer. 

“Where?”

“Down the hall on the left.” You squealed when he leaned down and grabbed you by your thighs, wrapping your legs around his hips as he walked you both to your bedroom. His tongue prodded your lower lip and you gladly let him in, he groaned at the taste of you and the residual mojito on your tongue. He pushed the door to your room open with his foot and almost stumbled with you in his arms, you couldn’t help the breathless giggle that turned into a whine when he started kissing your jaw, the spot behind your ear, stopping when he reached the pulse point that drove you crazy. He’s never touched you like this and already he had a sense for what made you squeeze him a little tighter. 

He set you down gently on the bed, he looked down at you, your flushed and kiss swollen lips, the heaving of your chest, your blown pupils watching his every move. 

“Never seen a prettier thing in all my life.” His hands ran over the curves of your hips, pulling your shirt out from your jeans, tugging it higher until you sat up and he was able to take it off completely. His eyes wandered over your breasts, his fingers tracing the patterns his blue eyes tracked in your skin until the stopped at the hem of your jeans, 

“Please, Johnny.” He wasted no time in undoing the button on your jeans and sliding them down your legs, he sat back on his haunches and looked at you. The length of your legs, the swell of your hips, the smooth skin of your stomach, the soft flesh of your breasts, god you’re breathtaking. You leaned up and tugged on his shirt, but he was so in awe of you that it didn’t click. So when your colder hands slid under the fabric and pulled it up and off of him, it shocked him back to the moment. Johnny gently pushed you back down onto your back, barely giving you time to admire the chiseled figure leaning down over you. 

“Relax, sweet girl, I’ve got you.” He kissed the edge of your lips, slowly making his way down the expanse of your body. Mouthing at the soft skin on your breasts, biting and sucking and going lower and lower, stopping at the apex of your thighs. 

“Keep your eyes on me, look away and I’ll stop. Got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Fuck, don’t know what you do to me.” Your silky legs found their way onto his shoulders, his fingers digging in and bruising the meat of your thighs. Your legs trembled as he started licking and kissing, absolutely devouring you, fingers pushing your underwear aside and diving into the warmth of your cunt,

“Johnny…” Your hands moved to his head, threading your fingers through his surprisingly soft hair, unintentionally messing up the carefully styled hair but the thought didn’t even cross his mind.

“Could eat you all fuckin’ night, Princess. ‘Specially when you say my name like that.” He groaned against you, encouraged by the noises spilling from your parted lips. You rolled your hips in time with him pumping his fingers, 

“Yeah? Want me to devour you ‘till there’s nothin’ left?” You were a writhing, moaning, mess and he’d barely gotten started, the noises coming from him were pornographic as he groaned against your heat, his tongue gliding between your folds and swirling around your clit. Your eyes threatened to flutter closed as it was too much to take in, but Johnny’s gaze held you firmly, daring you to look away, knowing you wouldn’t. Knowing you were clay in his hands, knowing he could mold you however he felt and that you’d let him. The thought went straight to the throbbing erection straining against his jeans. 

“Johnny- so close- please.” Your voice kept hitching, knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter, you shamelessly ground your hips against his mouth and he ate you like a man starved, savoring the taste of you, flicking his tongue and causing your legs to tighten around his head. His fingers pumped in and out of you, curling at the spot that had you seeing stars, “Fuck Johnny ple-ease.” Higher and higher you climbed that peak until your head was thrown back against the bed, the wind getting knocked out of your lungs, so god damn close to tipping over that edge. 

Then he stopped. He withdrew his fingers and straightened up and as soon as he did your eyes fluttered back open and you looked up at him, confusion evident. He brought his fingers to his mouth, and your mind went blank. Your hands went to undo his belt and unfasten the button of his jeans, pulling them down his muscular thighs.

“Taste so goddamn good, bonnie.” He wiped mouth with the back of his hand, standing up and kicking off his jeans, sliding his boxer briefs off and away from him while you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra and toss it aside.

“Unreal how gorgeous you are, hen.” He kneeled back on the bed, kissing his way up from your soft ankles, teasing your clit with a flick of his tongue, nipping and sucking at your pebbled nipples, biting the sweet spot on your neck until finally, finally, he kissed you again. You moaned into his mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue, grinding your hips against his,

“Please, Johnny, please fuck me.” You begged between breathless kisses. 

“One more time, bonnie, please.” He was every bit out of breath as you are, your sweet moans knocking the air out of him. He gently tugged your lower lip between his teeth, “Need ta hear it one more time.”

“Fuck me, Johnny. I need you.” He pressed his forehead against yours, looking down at where he rubbed his dick against your slick heat. He shuddered at the warmth of you as he lined himself up with your entrance, groaning when he finally plunged into your throbbing cunt. You threw your head back with a moan and he dropped his against your shoulder,

“Sweet fuck bonnie, so fuckin’ good.” He panted, heart thundering in his chest when he dared to start moving his hips, starting off his thrusts slowly, meticulously, watching your every move, every twitch of your muscles, the way your mouth hung open as a string of moans and pleas spilled out of your pretty kiss-swollen lips. 

“Faster, Johnny, please.” He could never resist you, not before when you were just having micro coffee dates, and certainly not now when he’s balls deep in the warmth of your pussy. He leaned back, hands on your hips as his thrusts started picking up speed, he was hypnotized by the way your breasts bounced with each thrust, his fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, bringing you with him each time he drove into you. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, bonnie, the state of you.” He panted, one hand moving to rub your clit and it made you clench even harder around him. He groaned your name as his thrusts picked up in intensity and speed, your small hands clutched at his wrists, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring him that much closer to you. It created a new angle that had you arching your back off the bed, chanting his name in between moans, begging him not to stop,

“Don’t think I can stop, hen.” He felt the sweat rolling down his temples, his entire body feeling like an exposed nerve ending, every inch of him on fire,

“Please don’t. ’M- fuck- on the pill. Dont. Fucking. Stop.” You could barely get the words out, the last part coming out through gritted teeth,

“Fuck don’t say tha’.” He chuckled breathlessly, you pulled him down towards you, wrapping your arms around his neck, 

“Come with me, Johnny.” You bit the edge of his jaw, laving it with your tongue, sucking a colorful spot under his ear, his hips stuttered as he started thrusting harder into you. He turned his head and kissed you roughly, teeth tugging at your lips, you clenched around him as your orgasm washed over you. Your back arched off the bed, tits pressed against him, one of his arms snaked around your back and held you against him as he came with a groan, coaxed over the edge by your fluttering walls milking him for all he’s worth. He nearly collapsed on top of you if it wasn’t for him bracing himself with his arms on either side of your head, you wrapped your legs around his hips, keeping him close for just a moment longer. He kissed the side of your head and gently tapped your thigh, you untangled yourself from him and he pulled out and flopped onto his side, chest heaving, ears ringing just a little but in the best way. 

“I’ll have you know, I’m not usually a ‘first date’ kind of girl.” You panted, a playful smile pulling your lips as you turned onto your side to look at him. He chuckled and mimicked your movements,

“Wha’re you on about? Had plenty of dates, unless you’re saying you don’t count us having breakfast together as a date.” He quirked a brow, reaching across the both of you and taking a strand of your hair between his fingers,

“Well, uh, I mean, I-” Your cheeks went hot at the realization that he’s not wrong, and that maybe you sounded kind of rude, even if it was playful banter,

“I’m only teasin’, hen, course I’ll take you to dinner.” You shoved him jokingly as he pulled you close, his legs tangling with yours, arms wrapping around you and holding you against him,

“Or… you could stick around… indefinitely?” You suggested meekly, fingers tracing patterns in the dusting of hair on his chest, your head was tucked under his chin so you couldn’t see the blinding grin on his face. He buried his nose in your hair and kissed the crown of your hair,

“I like your idea better.”

#soap mactavish x reader #soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #soap x reader #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish #soap smut #soap mactavish smut #cod x reader #mw2 x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod one shot

[hihimissamericanbi]

Enemies to lovers AND only one bed? Babe, you're speaking my favorite language here. Tell me more.

well hello there, snitchy snitch!!

Okay, picture this. Sapphic enemies to lovers. Wedding trope. Our MCs are the sister of the groom and sister of the bride. They have disliked each other from the moment they met, back when their siblings first started dating. One is "Miss Priss," the other is "Surly Girlie." Our story takes place at the bachelorette party, a weekend away at the beach. Both our MCs arrive late (so they are grumpy AF already) to find they have to share the only room left. and there's only one bed.

NOW. IS THIS NOT THE PERFECT PANSMIONE. Harry and Draco are getting married. Hermione and Pansy never mended things after the war; they still despise (read: are obsessed with) one another. Now, they've had to work together (ew) to plan this stupid joint bachelor trip for the whole crew. To top it all off, Pansy's portkey got cancelled last minute, and Hermione got caught up in a work emergency at the ministry (at least what I was doing was important, parkinson; sorry if I don't feel bad your fancy first-class portkey got bumped). They spend the first night in their shared bedroom bitching each other out and sleeping as far away from each other as they can get, rolled over to each side and huffing in exasperation.

Honestly this works great for any HP ship pairing. Jily having to work together to plan Wolfstar's bachelor trip. Wolfstar exes-to-lovers planning Jily or Jegulus' trip. Drarry planning Ginsy's. You get the idea.

Below the cut for more stream-of-consciousness fic, incl NSFW art from @upthehillart :D

@hpsaffics you're getting a tag here too :)))

After much description of hot girls in bathing suits (hermione's ass) (pansy's legs) and both of them just absolutely losing their minds over each others' bodies, with lots of sniping back and forth to cover up how embarrassingly into each other they are, they end up last ones at the muggle bar the second night, too tipsy to try apparating. Fuck it, granger, dance with me. Oh boy, do they DANCE. It's so fucking hot, they can't get enough of each other, the feel of their bodies close, their flesh beneath each others' hands, that LOOK in pansy's eyes that says I'm going to eat you alive and you're going to say thank you. But just before something drastic happens, like hermione putting her lips to pansy's neck like she's been wanting to for honestly a very long time, longer than she cares to admit, Harry bursts onto the dancefloor "there you are!!! we've been looking everywhere for you get in the uber right now!"

The spell is broken, and, faces beet red, they let harry drag them back to the air bnb. they take turns showering, being sure to change into pj's in the bathroom (Pansy in a giant band tee shirt and booty shorts, Hermione in a lace pink matching set). Hermione is tying her hair up in a specially-charmed silk scarf and going over some notes from work that got delivered by owl while they were out, and pansy thinks she's the loveliest thing she's ever seen. Pansy's caught staring. "what?" "nothing, granger." there's a pause, like maybe they each want to say more, but instead, pansy just turns out her light with her wand. "night, granger," she whispers.

There in the dark, they both lay on their backs, listening to each other breathe. they end up having a tension-filled, intense exchange where they are truly vulnerable with each other for the first time. apologies are given and accepted in the softest whispers. tentatively, pansy reaches out a hand beneath the covers, drags the back of her fingers gently over the soft skin of hermione's arm. "i really am. sorry. i never meant any of it. you." deep breath. "you're the most incredible girl I've ever met. I've always thought so."

and then--

Hermione moves with that intense decisiveness of hers. She rolls over, straddles pansy, grips her face and kisses her long and deep. Pansy opens her mouth to her instantly, and a stupid little moan escapes and it's the most pathetic sound she's ever made but she will make it again and again if it's hermione who pulls it from her. "Want you," Hermione whispers into pansy's neck, finally latching on and sucking, biting, coaxing blooming bruises of violet and and blue to her pale skin. She shoves her hands up underneath pansy's tee shirt, not an ounce of hesitation, grips her tits hard. kneads them, dances fingers over her nipples, seeing which touches elicit the most gasps from the beauty beneath her. pansy is arching and writhing with pleasure, and hermione grins into her mouth, wicked and brutal. The witch who kept a woman in a jar for months for slandering her friends, the witch who destroyed horcruxes and single-handedly kept two boys alive for the better part of seven years, the 20-something witch ruthlessly bulldozing over all the old white bureaucratic wizards at the ministry, is now the witch taking pansy apart inch by inch and fuck if pansy isn't thrilled to be broken by those powerful hands, sucked dry by plush lips, devoured by sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight as they sink into her skin over and over.

But Pansy has a few tricks up her own sleeve. She grips hermione with strong thighs and rolls them over, "Can I take off your scarf?" she breathes it her ear. "wanna pull your hair while i suck on your tits." Hermione whimpers and pulls her scarf off and pansy gathers those fucking curls into her fist and pulls, careful of course not to damage the curl pattern. Pansy licks a long stripe up her now-bared neck and over her ear, then whispers, "pull your top down. let me see." Hermione obeys, of course she obeys, pansy is commanding and relentless and if pansy wants to look hermione will let her. she fingers a strap of her camisole down off one shoulder, skims her fingertips over the top of her breast, just over the nipple still hidden beneath the fabric. Pansy's mouth is dry and her cunt throbs as she anticipates finally getting a glimpse of her nipple, already hard and poking through the silk and lace. "all the way," pansy murmurs. "take it out. show it to me." hermione whines and squirms and finally digs her hand all the way in and pulls out her breast, so fucking full and delicious with large brown nipples that beg to be kissed, so of course pansy does. Pansy looses her patience and pulls the camisole all the way down, exposing both breasts to her gaze and her wandering hands. she dives in, laving attention all across hermione's warm skin, nipping and licking and sucking and groping. her hips have started grinding down against hermione's pelvis, and hermione is arching up to meet her. "wanna make you come," pansy growls between hermione's tits. "how do you like it?" hermione stills, and pansy looks up. "um," hermione bites her lip. pansy kisses it out from behind her teeth. "yes, baby? what do you want? let me give it to you." Hermione take a deep breath. "i thought i was going to have my own room. i may have brought a few... toys." "oh, like what?" Hermione rolls over, digs around her her bag by the bed, and shyly pulls out an ENTIRE FUCKING STRAP. The magic kind that connects sensations from the strap to the wearer's clit. "I was hoping i might get lucky, going out and everything this weekend." Pansy's speechless. "Would you, um, let me fuck you with it?" hermione asks, big brown eyes wide and hopeful.

Cut to, pansy on all fours, legs kicked wide, ass up, facing the mirror by the bed, watching hermione completely naked and fucking her with her cock, her curves bouncing and slapping with every thrust, the sounds wet and loud and crude, mixing with Pansy's gasps over and over and over. Pansy's tee is shoved up by hermione's demanding hand; she's gripping the skin of her shoulder, her other fist burying in Pansy's hip and pulling her back onto her dick even as she fucks into her, hard and deep and fast. Hermione is strong and her grip bruises and Pansy couldn't move if she wanted to. "M close," Hermione murmurs. "yes, yes, yes," pansy chants in reply, all other words fucked right out of her brain. "touch yourself for me, baby, wanna watch you come first." but when pansy collapses down to one shoulder so she can use her other hand to rub her clit, she gasps in shock. Hermione has wordlessly and wandlessly charmed her fingers to vibrate. pansy shouts when her charmed fingers makes contact with her aching clit, swollen and needy from what feels like a lifetime of getting handled by hermione fucking granger. just a few passes through her folds and over her clit has Pansy shaking and coming with a muffled scream, Hermione following right behind her, the force of her orgasm plunging her cock even harder into pansy's pulsing cunt. it kicks off a second orgasm for pansy, back to back, and she screams and screams until hermione finally pulls out and gather pansy into her arms, shushing her and smoothing her hair.

They clean each other up take turns in the bathroom, and fall asleep in each other's arms.

maybe this wedding won't be so bad after all.

ps: below is my headcanon depiction of pansmione from a fic i cannot recommend enough . Art and fic both by @upthehillart

watch out the girls are naked and hot

#ANDDD SCENE #wip tag game #smut game #celine's smut #celine spills #desperately seeking snitch #pansmione #pansmione smut #hp sapphics #enemies to lovers #and there was only one bed #hermione x pansy #upthehill art

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 3

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: After a thorough interrogation from Abby, you and Sebastian get to know each other better.

Author’s Note: n/a

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

The four of us grab some drinks and a pizza to share, and proceed to the back room, where there’s a few games to play. Abby and I plop down on a couch each in the back corner while Sam and Sebastian play pool. Seb is kicking Sam’s ass. I wonder how I’d hold up against them?

“If I could give the cue ball a bit of a top spin, maybe I could… ” the poor guy mutters to himself. At least he’s trying his best.

“So, are you up for a game of 20 questions while those weirdos do their thing?”

“The word guessing one, or the truth-or-dare-but-without-the-dare one?”

“Uhh, the second.”

“What is this, Tinder?”

She snorts, “Are you in or not?”

I shrug, chug a few swigs of my beer, and get cozy.

“You first, then.”

She thinks for a moment.

I go for another sip while I wait, when suddenly she blurts out, “What’s your type?” 

I nearly choke, holding back a laugh. “God, this really does feel like Tinder, I dunno. I haven’t been with that many people.” 

“Welllll, what do you look for in a person then?” 

“Nothing in particular.”

“Not even a little bit of a preference?”

“Nope.”

“What do the people you’ve been with look like then?”

She’s very intense. It’s a little uncomfortable — no, very uncomfortable. But now that my lightweight ass has had the whole 2 drops of alcohol that it takes for me to feel bolder, I might as well have fun with it.

Giving her a diabolical grin, I ask, “Are you hitting on me, Abigail?” 

This brings Seb and Sam’s attention to us. They continue playing, but I can feel their eyes boring into us. Abby’s cheeks turn beet red and she laughs, shoving down some more beer. She doesn’t answer, so I’m unsure if she’s actually been called out, or if she’s just embarrassed by my question. 

Based on our subpar interaction involving Sebastian earlier, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s trying to figure out if I’d be into him. It’s more fun to assume differently, though.

I think briefly, trying to remember something that everyone I’ve dated – or, you know, canoodled with – had in common.

“They were all taller than me.” Not like that’s hard to do. “Does that work?”

All three of them nod. Abby shrugs and mutters a grumpy “I suppose” with a mouthful of pizza, while the guys resume concentration on their own game.

“Alright, you’re up,” she urges, popping some emphasis onto the “p” sound.

I nod towards her hair. 

“Why purple?”

“What’s wrong with purple?” A fair response.

“Nothing, it looks pretty! I’m just curious.”

Abby explains something about amethysts, hair dye, and ~magic~. I don’t entirely understand, but I do my best to follow along. 

Basically, she dyed it purple in high school, because amethysts are her favorite mineral. She described them as delicious, and I genuinely cannot tell if she’s just the type that uses that word casually, or if she just… eats rocks. 

After dying it in what Abby thought was a simple act of self-care combined with teenage rebellion, her hair remained purple. Like, the roots literally just never grew back in with the natural light brown she was apparently born with. 

It sounds like a load of bullshit, but for some reason, I believe her. Something does seem magical about this place.

“You know,” I say following her story, “The first thing that came to mind when I first saw you outside was that your hair reminds me of amethysts.”

“Oh!” She’s completely gleaming. “That’s really cool actually. Thanks!” We had a rough start, had me sweatin’ for sure, so hopefully that got me some brownie points. I just want friends, man. “I have more questions for you, lady.” 

__________________

Once a few more beers are in all of us and Sam has had enough losses for the night, Abby finally eases up on the interrogation (who in the western world asks a stranger for their blood type?!) and summons Sam to dance with her by the jukebox across the bar. 

By “summon,” I mean she pulls Sam up from his seat on the cushion next to me, and starts preemptively dancing in an attempt to convince him. It doesn’t take much effort — Sam said a second ago that he just wants to chill, but the smile and light shimmying of his shoulders says otherwise.

Abby seems to know better than to try and make Sebastian dance, and after I profusely decline, she leaves me alone too. She calls me boring, but I shrug and accept the defeat, as she takes Sam’s hand and leads him to the source of the music.

I look around, people-watching a bit. There’s a gorgeous redheaded girl at the opposite corner of the place, eyeballing me while talking to a man with the absolute most luscious strawberry-blonde hair I’ve ever seen. I smile, and so does she — then her friend turns and grins too, and I return it with a wave. He seems gentlemanly, and the girl’s the outdoorsy type if I had to guess. I love it. I gotta meet them properly, but definitely not tonight. I’d make a fool out of myself.

I look over at Sebastian. He seems to be doing the same thing as me — just sorta people-watching — so I won’t bug him. I do want to get to know him, being that I’m practically obsessed with him for some fucking reason lord help me, but I’d rather save that stuff for when he’s ready. If he ever is. There’s always the possibility that we simply never hang out again after this.

As if he read my mind, Sebastian gets up and strolls over to the couch that I’m thoroughly draped across, investigating me with curious eyes the whole way over. Can’t help but get a little flustered under his gaze like that…

I scoot over a bit to make room, but in my drunken state, I accidentally let my whole upper body flop onto his arm. He doesn’t move away. Right when I’m wondering if I should give him some space, he almost seems to lean into the contact. Fine by me, handsome.

“Out of all the places y’could live,” he slurs a bit, “you chose Pelican Town?”

I look at his face ready to answer, but as I realize our proximity I can feel my cheeks burning. His own cheeks are pretty rosy from the alcohol, and it’s a cute look on him. 

I have the urge to cup his face with my hand and kiss his stupid pink cheeks, but I resist. 

Sober me will thank me for that. 

I move over a bit. Now that there’s adequate room between us, I can answer him without getting my panties in a twist.

“I had no direction in life, a miserable desk job, and no friends to keep me grounded,” I say in one long exhale.

He looks confused. Before I can inquire why, he asks, “Didn’t you come from the city?” I nod. “There’s tons of jobs and people there. Why waste that here?”

“I’m too anxious to have just changed my shit around while I was there,” I can feel my voice lowering, as I pour my heart out to a practical stranger. This is terrible — I’m sober enough to know what’s going on, but drunk enough that I can’t hold back. Gotta ease up next time I’m here. “And people are frickin’ scary. I’ve just gotten kinda good at pretending I don’t think so when I’m around them, I guess… I could only pretend for so long, you know?” 

Seb’s eyes linger on me, and he nods slowly, probably knowing how I feel if Robin’s spiel on him was any indication. I inhale the last of my beer. I chase it with some water, offering him some from my glass, which he accepts.

“I was only coming here in the first place with the intent to,” I pause and wave a hand in the direction of Lewis, who’s sitting at a table with Marnie on the other side of the saloon — “Fulfill the duty Mayor Lewis bestowed upon me. Usually I can’t stand crowded places like this.” 

“Oh yeah? What happened to that?”

“You guys did,” I laugh.

He chuckles with a lazy, smug grin plastered on his face. 

I reposition myself to face him. I prop up my crossed arms onto my left side, where the back cushion of the sofa starts to sink down, and I lean my chin on my forearms. My knees are tucked to my chest, but I have bike shorts on under my skirt, so I'm not exactly in a scandalous position. 

From here, I do a little more inspecting. I found it surprising that Sebastian willingly talked to me, given his introvertedness and generally cold demeanor, but even more so when he came and sat next to me. What’s up with this guy?

I stare a little too long again, and he notices. Oh no, my sappy drunk is kicking in! Before I can yield, I word-vomit, “Y’know, you’re really cool.” 

For fuck’s sake, lady!

A dark blush dusts my face and my eyes widen as I look down at the couch – why the fuck would I say that after he caught me trying to scope him out again? I look back up, in an attempt to assess the situation.

His neatly groomed eyebrows are furrowed, and his mouth’s barely ajar, but curving into a smirk nonetheless. I feel the blush spreading to my ears, rather than dissipating, because of course! So I shove my face into my arms.

“What makes you say that?” Sebastian asks after a moment. I can hear a smile lingering in his voice.

I just shrug and answer with a muffled “Fuck, I dunno,” hoping he’ll hear. I know I’ll say something stupid about how nice, and hot, and whatever I think he is if I look up or open my big mouth again. 

“Well,” he continues, which I assume means he saw the shrug, “you’re pretty neat too, I guess. For a farmer.”

I giggle, with another muffled “Fuck.” He can’t see it, but I’m smiling like an absolute madlad right now.

I peer up after a bit, still refusing to look at the gorgeous man sitting next to me, and see Sam and Abby watching us as they dance. Sam looks intrigued, but happy, as he often seems to.

Abby seems… annoyed? Angry? I can’t put my finger on it. I wonder why she’s grilling the shit out of me, until I realize how close Seb and I have drifted to each other — ah, that’s why.  I look up at him, and he’s watching Abby menacingly stare at me. He looks tense .

I’m about to ask if he’s alright, but he stands up. Seb offers me a hand – I’m assuming he either knows I’m worried, or he knows there’s a possibility of me struggling to get up on my own right now if I tried. Or maybe he’s just sweet and feelin’ handsy.

“Let’s ditch ‘em for a bit. I need air.”

As we stumble out, I lock eyes with Robin, who’s dancing with, I’m assuming, Demetrius. She gives me a wave as she’s spun around, I toss up a peace sign in return. Her eyes widen when she sees that I’m leaving with her son, and she waggles her eyebrows at me. I try to ignore her in the most polite possible way, by ducking my head as I exit. 

The moment we step outside, Sebastian leans on the wall, lets out a huge, sexy mmmmm, breathy groan he seemed to be holding in, and promptly begins to smoke. 

“You alright?” I quietly inquire, stopping mid-sentence to swallow a hiccup.

“I’d rather not get into it.”

“You got it, sir,” I salute him and lean against (or, more likely, fall into) the wall as well.

It’s still drizzling, but not pouring like earlier, and it’s just a tad windy. This is nice. I love the rain, when I don’t have to be moving around so much underneath it. I slide down the wall to sit on the wet ground, and to my surprise, Seb joins me.

I ask him for a smoke. He asks if I smoke. I say no. He lightly scolds me for even thinking to do that to myself. I scold him for doing it too, although I make sure to boldly emphasize how edgy and cool he looks doing it. He rolls his eyes and lets me take a puff of his cigarette, which I promptly give back, having taken too big of a hit for my poor virgin lungs.

Once my coughing fit dies down, we have a few minutes of comfortable silence. In the midst of it, I’m overcome with sleepiness. Our silly, brief conversations are revved up again, saving me from dozing off. Lotta friendly banter, while also getting to know each other:

Seb’s naturally a ginger, like Robin, who I just learned was in her late teen years when she had him. Similarly to Abigail, his hair stopped coming in his natural color at some point. 

He got homeschooled until Sam moved here. They became friends on the playground one day, and that same day they both managed to convince Robin to let Seb go to Sam’s public school out of town.

He was bullied by most people there — called homophobic slurs because he wore eyeliner and nail polish, shoved around in the hallway, had his clean clothes stolen after gym class once, all that fun stuff. God, teenagers suck.

I share some of my story too. Nothing special, pretty similar to his in some ways. Got bullied a lot, not because I “looked gay,” but because I just looked like a stereotypical nerd.

I moved around a bit, had a hard time fitting in partially because of that and partially due to a constant ongoing identity crisis that only started to dwindle down, like, when I was free from corporate Ferngill. So, this week.

I had dyed my hair a few times here and there, but unlike my new neighbors, it grew back naturally. We unanimously declare that it’s gotta be something in the water here, fucking with people’s biological makeup.

Once I feel sober enough to walk, I begin my farewell of sorts. “I gotta get going, I’m wiped.”

Sebastian nods in response. I’m about to leave, but I stop myself, turning back to him.

“This was a lot of fun. Tell Sam I said thanks for roping me into it. And,” I shoot him some corny ass finger guns, “thank you for dealin’ with me.”

He shoots me a genuine, sleepy-eyed smile, “You got it, (y/n).”

Hearing Seb say my name for the first time gives me chills. He sure is having an affect on me, but I can’t pinpoint why. Maybe it’s just because he looks really good, and I’m still very tipsy, and it’s been too long since I’ve gotten laid.

It’s gotta be that. Like, totally is.

“Get home safe,” he adds, stomping out his cigarette and heading back inside.

“You too, emo boy.”

#stardew sebastian #sebastian stardew #sebastian x reader #sebastian #sebastian headcanons #stardew valley #stardew #sve #sdv #sebsatian sdv #sdv wizard #stardew wizard #magnus rasmodius #sve magnus #magnus rasmodius x reader #stardew valley fanfic #stardew valley sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian x reader #wizard x reader #sdv wizard x reader

[pyotrkochetkov]

Tell me things about Svech. I just had to send a really difficult text dealing with a difficult family member. I need to think about something else.

i'm sorry i'm just responding to this now but i hope this is a nice distraction for you!!!

here are plenty of things about him! i'll put this under a read more because i could talk about svechy for hours 🫶

he came to the united states to play hockey as a 16 year old with his mom to play for the muskegon lumberjacks of the USHL, all while knowing zero english which also goes to show how dedicated and intelligent he is because his english is amazing now

he grew up in russia very poor and he and his family sometimes didn’t know if they would even have clothes or food to eat

he wants to make a better life for his parents because of this and most likely gave them his signing bonus after he signed an 8 year contract (x)

his family is the most important thing to him

his brother evgeny is also a hockey player who is currently on the winnipeg jets. andrei also wears number 37 for no other reason than it was his brother’s number

andrei has called his brother his hero many times 🥺

and that he's helped him with hockey so much and owes the lacrosse goals he's scored to evgeny first showing it to him

which by the way he is the first player in NHL history to score a michigan goal 👑

his first hockey memory was also crying because he couldn't play with his brother like!!!!!!

one of andrei's biggest dreams was to play in the NHL with his brother and they finally got to in march 2021

also have this picture of little drei in a teletubbies shirt for no reason other than it's the cutest thing i've ever seen in my entire life

his dad watches every single one of his games even though he lives in russia and it’s a 7 hour time difference so he makes coffee so he can stay up and watch andrei play 🥺

his favorite thing his mom makes is borscht which is beet soup

he loves sweets but tries to stay away from them during the season and his favorite russian candy is alenka chocolate

his favorite food that he hadn’t tried before living in the US is sweet potato fries because they quote "makes him happy and tastes good" 😭

he goes to a training camp in russia every summer which takes up all of his time and he says he doesn’t have a life because of it. waking up at 5 am and skating, working out and doing track and field in the evening which he says is his least favorite because he hates running and he’s so tired by then end of it that he goes to bed at 9 pm 

he is known for being a hard worker and is very hard on himself. rod brind’amour has to tell him to go home sometimes if he’s still at the rink or in the gym. he even stays at the rink after games working on what he can do to get better: 

he loves magic and taught himself how to do tricks on youtube!!!!!

he talks about it in this video and does a card trick djsksk why is he so adorable

also this video has more with the magic: https://www.nhl.com/hurricanes/video/magic-with-svech/t-277437094/c-5186139?q=Magic+svech 

and to end please have some more cute facts about him!!!!!

anyways heres your official order from me to stan this large adorable russian ❤️

#anonymous #ask #andrei svechnikov #this got so long and i don't apologize for it actually!!!!!!

[rotzaprachim]

happy saturday besties! I’ve been working on my nina/helnik Hell Fic (tm) for a year now and felt. like i needed to have at least some of it up, for public record, for my own personal accountability that this is a body of words that exists in some fashion aside from in my head. (we’re clocking at about 60k rn and no where near finished.) so enjoy this spoiler-tastic, rough and marked-up section from square in the middle, which I slammed out in an afternoon while on an essay crisis and which convinced me there was an interesting story here I actually wanted to tell. TW for this being based on a YA novel, but very very adult in a lot of themes and implications 

              They stopped to eat the lunch Gudrun wrapped for them in waxed brown paper. Brown bread slathered thickly with fat and some oily, salty fish that filled Nina with the gloriously human smell of smoke. She had handfulls of dried berries in her pockets and dried lamb in her pack and she did not wish to think of the fact that here she was living of enemy kindnesses. They ate in silence and then dipped quickly into the water they melted down in the morning. Nina carefully licked all the crumbs from her greased fingers.      “We need to talk,” she says.         “We need to move so that we don’t turn cold,” Matthias said. He pulled himself to his feet and started to walk in his long, bow-legged strides, leaving Nina sputtering over her own feet to catch up. Her shawl flapped about her shoulders with a surprising degree of noise and stinging force.             “Wait, wait,- oh for fuck’s sake, Lars.”          This caused him to pause, at least momentarily, and look at her.            “Do you always try to run when people want to talk to you? Honestly, Djel only knows why you still haven’t a wife.”        “Mmph,” grunted the king of social graces.         “What we’re going to do, mister, is walk through who Lars Solverson is.”        “Why aren’t we doing this for Mila Jandersdat?”       “Because Mila Jandersdat is a real fucking person already. This isn’t even my country and Mila Jandersdat’s not the problem.”          “You… you made her up.” “And?”       “She isn’t real.”       Nina shrugged her shoulders. As if that mattered a whit.

      “Go on, then. Ask Mila anything. Make polite conversation with Mila. Interrogate her, if you wish.”        He thought for a moment. It was probably very taxing on him to use every one of his five brain cells. “What is Mila’s… favorite color?” “Pink.” He nodded squarely, satisfied. “Go on then, ask another.” “What is Mila’s favorite supper?” “Stewed elk and putrified shark. But if neither presents itself, I am more than satisfied with cold blueberry soup, with cream.” “A woman of good Fjerdan tastes,” he says appreciatively before suddenly pausing. “Wait-“ She smiles sweetly and batts her eyelashes. Bless the poor lad, although he’s becoming quickly keener to her devious nature. She hopes he doesn’t get too quick-witted, though, or else she’ll loose the best craic she’s got immediate access to, fucking around with the motherfucker who’se never been fucked. “Is every question you ask Mila going to be so dull? Does Mila have no hobbies or desires?” His eyes immediately flick away from her face. “A Fjerdan man with any sense of decency would never ask an unmarried woman he does not know such things. An unmarried Fjerdan girl would not even think of such things to begin with.” “Indeed. But Mila Jandersdat has not in a near decade’s time been an unmarried woman, and Lars knows her very well.” “Why-“ “Go on. Make it a question for Mila.” “Where is your [hejmland], Mila?” “A [vik] of medium size, downriver from the centerlands.” Matthias flinches, and Nina smiles inwardly at what a job she’d done with placing his accent. “Mila is just a simple farming girl. Her family grew potatoes and sugar beets, and fished, and had a cow called Rose-Maret who it was Mila’s job to take to the out-pasture with two or three of the younger brothers and sisters.” He weighed the story as rounded another snow-packed crest. Guðrún had given them extensive directions towards the next vik which Nina had understood none of and was now again reliant on the in no way tender mercies of Matthias’s navigational skills. “If Mila had such a humble origin, then why does she speak and write in Fjerdan like the Djerholm [gentry?]” Nina’s mind went blank. Every time Matthias revealed a brain under all that muscle, it was a more unpleasant surprise than anything. “Mila’s mother did laundry and washing in the house of the strong-holders such that Mila be taught something of arithmetic and geography, for Mila has so clever a child as learnt by heart the entire [Djelsprayer] hornbook at the tender age of eight, so wickedly clever  is this woman Mila Jandersdat.” “And so dainty and humble as well.” “Indeead, the strong-holder’s wife became so taken by the wit and charms of Mila Jandersdat that she became very dear to the old woman, such that with no daughter and the all the sons gone off to war, she began to think of Mila as something of a niece and taught her what she knew of pincushion-embroidery and delicately plucking “Onward Fjerdan Soldiers” on the mandolin.” At this Matthias guffawed loudly. “And what of it?” “Mila would never sweetly play anything, let alone the mandolin.” Nina pursed her lips, suddenly shockingly cross at how this doltish soldier without an ounce of good culture to his name was judging the ladylike refinements of Mila Jandersdat. “Mila is a delicate Fjerdan flower.” At this Matthias guffawed still louder. It was a sound that shook his whole body and that she might have liked to hear more of if it had not been directed at her. “Mila may be a treacherously beautiful woman, but she is no delicate flower. She’s like the lurid blue wood-lichen that makes the bread-flour last a winter or else the arctic heather that nothing can stop from growing, not even the frost.” “All of this you know of Mila,” she huffed. “As you said, Lars know her very well.” In this way it continued. It gave them both something to do that felt like a more acceptable category of treason. In falling grey evenings and around campfires Lars and Mila came to increasingly fleshed life, and by laughing about it Nina could do what she’d always done when faced with the dizzyingly difficult, which was treat the task as a game. Mila Jandersdat was a woman of clever wits and a few human foibles for which she was all the more charming. She could dance a reel and tell a dirty joke and won blue ribbons for her cloudberry jam recipe. She was a big sister to all and the sort of friend with whom one might uncork a bottle of currant wine for a long chat in order to feel better about the world. “A good Fjerdan woman would not drink wine or brandy, or that which contains such spirits as may possess a soul.” “A bottle of honeywater,” Nina corrected herself, glaring. She assumed this would mollify him, but he then elaborated, “neither would she have the coin to buy such strong drink.” “Fine. Mila Jandersdat always has coffee and something sweet and a good bit of conversation for the guest who may darken her doorframe. There’s bread dough rising on the counter and some cider cake under a dome to keep the flies out and there’s a pie cooling on the windowsill with the fluttering lace curtains. There are always good things for the unexpected stranger to eat. And no one in Mila’s household is ever hungry. No one.” Her mouth felt dry. She huffed in breath. “What a marvel of feminine hospitality is Mila Jandersdat! What a wife does Lars have!” “A good Fjerdan housewife would never waste so much pay on sugar and trifles.” “Would not Lars the good Fjerdan husband provide for his wife so as to keep her in comfort?” And so it went. The found the next farm stead, and the one after, and worked several days in each place at the weaving and haying in exchange for a pile of gloriously warm blankets on the floor and the Kvöldvaka  light. Everywhere it was immeidately known how they were breaking the most clear-cut of wartime laws and ever time the wordlessly provided excuse was understood in full sympathy and some variety of spell, prayer, or enchantment was cast upon Mila’s womb so that it may take her husband’s seed and bear his family fruit. “Maybe Lars has a low sperm count,” she groused as they walked off. The housemistress told them they had at least another week through the blackrock but that there would not be more than a lone overnight camping between farmsteads and Nina breathed a sigh of relief before realising that meant trading the danger of open landscape for the more specific domestic dangers of the people that wanted to burn her kind to ashes. “Lars does not have a- what that is,” Matthias said defensively, before more trepiditiously asking, “what is that?” “You’re not ready.” According to Matthias’s fictions, Lars Sølverson was pious, self-sufficient, sturdy, moral, dependable, reliable, and altogether decent. He provided for his wife in way that was comfortable and yet economically prudent as befits the sort of upstanding man who is not in debt and neither will pass on a debt to his children. He did not partake of strong drink. His eyes did not wanter off to strange women, and as such he had not brought home diseases of an indiscrete nature or begotten any bastards, He always did a day’s honest work except for on Djel’s Day, which he spent in prayer and fellowship. He was well-liked among men. “How lucky was Mila to have found such a man,” said Nina before she belatedly remembered that the word she had used did not mean “lucky” so much as “blessed.” “Every well-suited match is a blessing from Djel, but Mila was not particularly singular, for that is the sort of Fjerdan man who can be found in any farm, or meeting-house, or regiment-camp. There is nothing (unique) about Lars being an upstanding and  morals-driven Fjerdan man.” {INSERT BRIDGE-EXPLANATION OF HOW LARS AND MILA MET)

“Her brother wanted to marry her to a blacksmith whose work shoeing carriage horses meant there would always be bread on her plate and fire enough to keep her warm in th, e winter, and what man in Fjerda could offer her more? The blacksmith had a braying, crass way of speaking about “his woman,” and he looked at her a if she was a dressed leg of lamb, but her children would likely never be too hungry nor too cold. And so she was happy with her lot as she might be, and one day was buying new dress-hooks to fix her mother’s wedding dress when she saw him walking in the marketplace, and wanted him.” “So he knocked upon her father’s door-“ Matthias tried to jab in sideways. “So he made her a wedding ring of dentist’s gold and they ran off into the night.” “Lars would never have ruined her like that.” “Mila Jandersdat is a woman, not a broken platter. She isn’t ruined.” “He would never have broken her honour in front of her family or her community so that she could never have returned home. Lars knew a woman worth more than rubies what he saw one, even staring boldly-“ “I was not staring boldly! I was making eyes in a lavicious, untoward manner-“ “So he asked of her name, and learned it was Mila Jandersdat. That very evening he knocked at her father’s door. He was invited to dinner as any a wandering soul might be. He dined with her family three times before he was left alone with her and before the courting could begin. He took her father to meet his and see the sort of place he would have to his name and if were a godly sort of people he had come from.” “Mila’s mother and sisters dug through the scraps bin to start the Hringsa quilt,” she said. They would have taken the drinking glasses and candlesticks off of the dining table to pin out the little pieced-out triangles into the trunk and roots and leaves of the Tree of Life, and then they would have stitched it together in a winter’s worth of Kvöldvaka [Kvoldvakar?] after they’d done their National Service, spinning from their own sheep the sails of druskelle ships. Mila cut into strips the nut-brown tablecloth to make the trunk of her tree, for the living, and unravelled her too-small childhood mittens into the yarn with which stitched a spinning fractal of strong roots for the ancestors. She cut up her own baby blanket for the good green cloth with which to stitch the leaves. When it was done Mila folded the blanket and put it into the carved wooden chest of her bridal troseau and when she and her mother unfolded it over her marriage bed on the morning of her wedding, it would have been a sort of marking of territory. A national flag for a different sort of nation. And in the evening, jittered from cake and nerves, Mila would have run her index finger over the sturdy interfitting of triangles- the blue calico of her aunt’s apron, the red triangle of her other’s kirk shawl- while she waited on the bed for her husband to come in from the party, and have her. Lars and Mila fucked on that quilt. When she pinned the thing on the line to air out during the spring cleaning and everyone passing by could see, it was also a sort of declaration. When a fortnight after her marriage she woke to find her belly cramping and blood sticking to the insides of her thighs, she cried. As she rubbed out the stains with baking soda and river water she thanked Djel there was no child yet twisting inside of her. When five years on she did the same, she railed against her wretchedness, her godless condition, because that was an easier thing to stomache than the notion that the All-Source of All-Water had closed her womb in punishment for her sinful being. {insert something to return back to main narrative} Nina looked up, which was somehow a struggle. Mila was the full rushing force of a tidal wave pulling her under the water. She was as real as anything. “He must have loved her a lot,” she said, her tongue heavy. “To keep her as his wife. Mila. Lars’s wife. After eight years and no sons unto his name.” [Lars was not real. Lars was as real as the cardboard cutouts Kerch pleasure-piers stuck outside bordellos to advertise the enticements inside. Nina did want to think about what you’d find if you tipped Lars over.] “No honorable man would leave a woman he had made his wife to the cold like that.” Nina shrugged. “Even if she slept in his bed and ate his bread off his hard earned soldier’s wage and gave him no issue?” Matthias’s fingers worried at the hem of his trousers. He did not want to talk about this, she supposed. He wanted to talk about this more than anything. “Only a cruel man would blame the hand of Djel upon a woman.” “Then we live in a world full of cruel men.” All of the breached babies and ectopic pregnancies and angry, angry husbands. Sometimes it felt like more of a battle to serve in the domestic wards than it had been to dig out bullets from shoulders a half-hour from the front line. And more direct threats on her life, besides. Everyone knew that witches killed babies, and baked cakes from their blood, and cursed them to be born early, and quickened women with seven at home already and too-eager husbands, and everyone knew that witches turned sons to daughters with the flick of a wrist and a few esoteric sayings. Everyone knew. Matthias looked into Nina’s eyes. He did not try to tell her that Fjerdan men were not cruel. Not even the honorable Fjerdan men.

#A hartz iz nisht kein meleks trone #hell fic #nina zenik #matthias helvar #i would have your ghost #my writing #it's at like ....2.5 k for this section but 60k overall and this section relies on some longer running plot threads and themes #undercover work tee hee #if it clarifies and or spoils everything: one of the key insert themes of the fic is that nina and matthias went undercover as an ordinary #fjerdan couple during the endless ice hike so there's pretending to be married drama

[tim-official]

How do you make a good salad? I been trying to eat healthier and this could help!

ive gotten so good at this oh you have no idea.. my bf is a master chef of salad

a salad is a bowl of texture with a sauce that makes the texture taste good

put as many things as you can in there. just nothing soft. doesn't have to have much lettuce. possibilities: cucumber, cherry tomatoes, zucchini (raw), red onion, green onion, carrots, bell peppers, broccoli, broccoli stem, kohlrabi, cauliflower, cooked root vegetables (raw or pickled beets are really good if you cut them very thin). You don't even need lettuce or any leafy green (their main purpose is to be rough and ragged and hold a lot of dressing compared to, like, a cucumber slice)! Just make a bowl of texture!

fruit is good too, for tartness and sweetness. apple slices, dried cranberries, raisins. my secret weapon: dried figs. not too expensive and you only need a few. slice them up. if you can find fresh herbs for not-crazy expensive, those are flavor bombs. throw a sprig of dill in there. or basil.

protein in the form of meat or tofu if you want it. not required

invest in a big thing of nuts (walnuts work well, relatively cheap) and some kind of crumbly cheese (feta is ideal bc cheap, blue if you like stinky). get them at costco if you can. sprinkle just a little of both on top. if you have tortilla chips / potato chips lying around sprinkle some on too. it makes a difference. you get occasionally nutty or cheesy bites. variety. it's exciting and dynamic

the dressing: make your own if you can. make a big batch and keep it in the fridge. a decent "house" dressing is: one part honey, one part red wine vinegar, one part white wine vinegar, one part olive oil. add peanut butter OR tahini (my favorite, seriously, it's magic - not a lot, just a little) for a nice creaminess. other good dressings, search them, there's many recipes: white miso dressing (my personal favorite out of all i've tried), greek yogurt dressing, various takes on "dragon bowl dressing" (based around nutritional yeast and tahini), roasted red pepper dressing (grinding up canned roasted red peppers into a paste) or a really simple balsamic vinegar dressing (balsamic + olive oil + mustard + some source of sweetness). ranch also exists

final life hack: toss the salad before you make it, with the dressing. then move it into the bowl you'll eat it from. when you pour it like this, the smallest bits (crunchy stuff) that was on the bottom of the first bowl after being tossed end up on the top of the salad. i take this very seriously.

tim this seems expensive

it can be, especially upfront. the condiments i have available to me are like 5 types of vinegar, nice olive oil, miso, mirin, tahini, peanut butter, nuts, cheese, nutritional yeast. all those together, most bought from costco, probably cost about 175 bucks but last for many months. thing about a good salad is that you need a great many items but only a tiny amount of each of them.

as for fresh veggies. i get mine from a farm co-op. i go pick them up once a week for 33 bucks, they're fresh-picked and i swear it's like 60 dollars worth of veggies if i got them at the store because i live in quebec and veggies have always been fucking expensive up here. (only problem, if you're a picky eater or have dietary constraints, is you can't always choose what you get). i eat them every meal and still struggle to finish them by the time the next week rolls around. a lot of places have excess produce programs that are similar.

so for me, now, it's cost-effective because i'm eating salads like every day and i have a huge variety so I never get bored. but I had to commit. I only go grocery shopping for, like, condiments, chips, eggs, milk, cream, rice. and I don't eat a ton of meat.

obviously this is not accessible to everyone, because Hell World and food deserts and subsidies for grain only. i didn't even mention the labor of cleaning + chopping all these things. but hopefully this gives you an idea of what you could do with what you have. (you do not, as i do, need to own five types of vinegar.)

#food #salad post #wow i wrote a fucking lot huh

[postwarlevi]

This is just me being me....

Soooo! Levi wants to go shopping at the local farmers market. He wants to pick up some tasty food and maybe stop by a place on the way home to grab some plants for the garden.

Which tasty stalls do you stop by and what plants will you guys grab for your garden?

He's eyeing those deals.

CAT! My darling! I must apologize to you (and others) for letting things sit in my inbox.

Part of me just gets distracted, or forces myself to finish my work (not often lol) before interacting. Another part literally feels like I can't do justice to things people send me.... I'll work on that.

(I have no excuse for being so late in tag games except, distractions lol)

Anyway! Let me promote myself LOL I'll take a little inspiration from the Farmers Market fic I wrote a while ago. (this is also slightly self indulgent)

I think you'd have similar tastes and your favorites of course... Am I about to go overboard?

As far as fruit, I stand by Levi liking apples (I have a fic for that too hehe), and cherries, and fresh navel oranges. He's always got an apple or orange for lunch, or snacks on a bowl of cherries when they're in season. And loving apples as well, you're known to make tasty treats like tarts or muffins or crisps, and Levi always has his share.

You can't pass up the pineapple as well, or the blueberries and strawberries in season. Your freezer is full for smoothie ingredients. (Imma make a HC about everyones favorite fruit sometime)

Moving on to veggies, you stock up for salads and quick snacks. Bell peppers, cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, yes! All of it! How can you pass up a 1.5 pound organic zucchini for $1? You can't!

You like winter squash as well like butternut for soups or acorn for stuffing...or both for muffins or casseroles! (I have recipes!)

Also potatoes for baking or mashing yourself. And they last forever.

Okay but the zucchini? You have to visit the cheese stall and get asiago or mozzarella to shred on the zucchini and pop it in the oven for 15 minutes. SO GOOD. Also feta for salads. Cheese is the bulk of your dairy as it's coconut or almond milk in your fridge.

The tea stall! Loose leaf, baggies, give us the usual black or green tea. Chamomile or sage tea, cinnamon and honey lemon, and fruity flavors once in a while like pomegranate or pear mango. :D

Oh and dried fruit and nuts! Levis a weirdo and likes dried beets and such. He can have those. The hazelnuts too. But you both like raw almonds and the nutty granola blend for days you have oatmeal and want a crunch. Sometimes you just use it as a cereal base and throw in the blueberries! Dried fruit like mango or papaya wind up in your bag too. And those apple slices!

We can't forget the bread! You have to watch it here more than anywhere. Rye or pumpernickel loafs, small rolls of sesame seed or garlic herb. Sometimes they're for breakfast and sometimes for lunch.

How about your honey and fresh jams and peanut/almond butters? Gotta have something to put between those sandwiches! Apricot preserves, orange marmalade, classic strawberry jam. (Jam spreads better then jelly!)

You know I don't know where you're going to put all this stuff LOL

Sometimes you also grab eggs, and look at the non food items like the crafty handmade woodwork or coasters (no more coasters!) or fresh bar soap like lavender!

BTW if anyone is waiting for me to throw meats in there, you're going to have to do it yourself haha sorry

Oh wait but maybe you splurge on pasta? There's so many varieties! Maybe you go for lemon garlic linguini, or sun dried tomato fettuccine. And pasta sauce made with organic tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil and olive oil. YUM!

And if you go early and don't eat breakfast, you'll get it there. Strawberry mango smoothies, waffles, guava or chocolate empanadas?? (You eat healthy all the time, it's okay to not once in a while!)

Maybe you get lunch to go like woodfire pizza, or veggie wraps and rice and beans. Yes, you have lots of food, but after lugging it around and putting it away who wants to cook? You need to take it easy for a minute!

As far as plants, more zucchini, you can never have enough. Tomatoes and whatever lettuce variety is your favorite, and fresh herbs like basil, rosemary and parsley.

Fruits are a little more tricky I think, but a fig plant can go indoors or outdoors, and fresh figs are a nice treat! Lemons and limes are a good option too, and you can use them for some flavored water or to keep cut apples fresh :D Maybe if there's room blueberries too, or plums. (and apples)

So, what do you think? You going to the market with Levi? What are YOU getting??

#eliza answers #moots #moots housecat #levi ackerman #levi #levi fluff #levi ackerman fluff #aot #attack on titan #farmers market #fresh produce #let's go to the farmers market #levi headcanons #just my opinion people #and my likes hehe

[kays-musings]

I posted 212 times in 2022

That's 74 more posts than 2021!

11 posts created (5%)

201 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@desultory-suggestions

@gushuwa

@brillianq

@studyblrenrose

I tagged 20 of my posts in 2022

#studyblr - 11 posts

#phd student - 9 posts

#gradblr - 8 posts

#studyspo - 7 posts

#trans studyblr - 7 posts

#study inspo - 5 posts

#musicology - 4 posts

#grad studyblr - 4 posts

#march productivity challenge - 3 posts

#studyinspo - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 54 characters

#thats a very aesthetic keyboard and mouse combination!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Spent a couple hours at the local cafe and enjoyed a vanilla latte while doing my German homework. Got called “man” a couple times too which was a plus! 🏳️‍⚧️ 🇩🇪

11 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#4

Working on my second grant proposal, this time for summer funding for a conference paper. I’m writing about nonbinary interpretations of music. This is a 1922 piece by Arnold Schoenberg about a person who is seen both as a man and a woman who turns into an angel. The piece is based on a Balzac novel, Seraphita. This was my third time working at this cafe, I like it so far. I always sit outside and usually get either a hot or iced vanilla latte.

15 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#3

Decided to go to this little park to get some work done. It is a beautiful, sunny day! ☀️ Read and analyzed the libretto of this oratorio by Schoenberg. The work is mainly focused on religious ideas and seems to be an amalgam of an understanding of Christianity and Buddhism.

9th March: Do you know how to cook? What's your favourite thing to make? On that note, what's your favourite thing to eat?

I’m decent at chopping things but I have ADHD so I find it difficult to keep all the different steps and little numbers in my head while cooking so I don’t really seek it out (one tablespoon of this and this other thing is browning on the stove and this other thing takes 5 minutes so I need to remember to set a timer...etc.) I sometimes make spinach daal and it comes out pretty well. My favorite thing to eat is Ethiopian food, especially beets and lentils (they’re spiced super well!)

Also I’m behind so:

4th March: What's your usual cafe order? is it always the same or do you try new things?

Vanilla Latte either iced or hot depending on the weather. Sometimes I get a hot chocolate if I’m trying to stay away from caffeine...

18 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

#2

Did some archival work with a copy of a handwritten unfinished score from 1917. And later writing an abstract for a conference and trying to get it under 350 words!

23 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

1st March: What are your goals for this month? What's something you're looking forward to?

I know it’s the 6th but I just found this challenge. My best friend is coming to town to visit me for a week so I’m hoping to make the most out of that and go see some things in town and have fun. I also am having a bottom surgery consult in person so I need to make some decisions and be prepared for that which means I’m going to spend the next couple of therapy sessions talking about it. In terms of school, I just need to get through this quarter which means finishing all my German homework and my final and then designing a whole undergraduate course based on trauma studies. I need to be able to present on that a week from now. So those are my main goals.

38 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[astaroth1357]

Ok but like, what if MC's fandom starts to make ships with MC and the guys. Just think about the ship wars, the fancams, the fanarts, the absolute CHAOS when the brothers find out. It would be even worse if they start shipping MC with the undatables, one day everything is normal and the next day there are ship wars fighting over MC x Barbatos vs MC x Solomon (who are both very smug about it)

The MC's Fanclub are… Shippers?!

Perhaps… The italics blurb has been fulfilling its greater purpose all along…? Perhaps in its state of existential angst, it has in fact developed a plot of its own… An arc of introspection and self-discovery in which its own longing for purpose has forged a meaningful identity… It now has… a story…

Lucifer

As if they couldn't get any MORE frustrating…

He's not an otaku. He's not a part of ship culture. He's not even sure why anyone would care about who dates who around this school, but apparently it's a big deal to some people...

He only became aware of their interest in him and the MC's relationship through some very… subtle clues…

Like the groups that would follow them around in the hallways with their phones out.

Or the multitude of fan rumors about their relationship that Satan spams him with from time to time just to irritate him.

"MC refused hug from Luci in halls today!! Are they bout breakup??? 🥺"

"Tots got pic of kiss today!! Relationship upgrade??"

"IS ARE MC+LUCIFER SECET LVRS?!? PLEASE RESPOND"

It only got worse after he found out the MC gets shipped out a loooooot….

If he had to pick his least favorite ship, it'd be MC x Mammon. He can kind of see it with any of his other brothers (admittedly, Levi is also a little mystifying) but the idea of them ending up with Mammon makes his skin crawl...

He once found a drawing of the MC and Mammon in an… explicit position in one of the classrooms and he was so disgusted that he wouldn’t even touch it. He just set fire to the paper outright. Disgusting...

Mammon

Shipping, eh…? More money making opportunities!

Has some passing idea of what shipping is from Levi and, from what he knows of it, shippers eat cutesy couples stuff right up!! If all he's got to do to make bank is to look all couple-y around the MC then sounds like a win-win to him!

He'll happily pose for a photo or two (paid in advance) of him throwing his arm around the MC or something. Want him to hold their hand? Sure thing!

But since this is still Mammon we're talking about, the second MC actually starts getting into any of it he'll still turn into a blushy, stuttery mess...

For WEEKS the headline picture on so many of their fans' blogs was an image of him turning beet red while the MC kissed him on the cheek. (A fan really got their money's worth there... 😏)

Though he doesn’t exactly like the MC getting shipped with other people, he'll still totally sell pictures of any of them together. He almost paid off an entire credit card with the money he got from the t-shirt sales of the MC and Satan!

If he had to point to one ship he doesn't like it's either MC x Asmo or MC x Levi. His opinion, but Asmo won't treat them right and they could do waaay better than a shut-in. Like him. Ship the MC with just the Great Mammon, got it?

Leviathan

… Lowkey super active in the MC shipping community but is a self-shipper to the extreme.

Like, he never uses his real name on anything (and would probably die from embarrassment if anyone ever found out) but a lot of their fans probably know a couple of his aliases.

He does everything from mod forums, runs a couple blogs, even anonymously posts his own work of him and MC that are totally not his secret fantasy dates or AU versions of themselves, shaddup.

It’s a lot easier for him to keep his involvement secret because he’s hardly at RAD, but the few times he does show up he tries to keep an eye out for anybody prowling for pictures so he can get in a good pose and save the image later.

Mind you, his version of a “good pose” rarely gets more spicy than linking pinkies, but even then he’s still lit up a Christmas Tree throughout.

Naturally, he’s also not a big fan of any ships that aren’t just him and MC and he can find a reason to be jealous at almost anything. But he keeps a special corner of hate for MC x Mammon and MC x Diavolo. Like, the first one doesn’t even need an explanation but MC x Diavolo?? Really??? Do those two even talk?? (please, please, please make sure they never actually talk because a guy like him versus literal royalty? He’d lose MC for sure….!! 😫)

Satan

He hates to actually agree with Lucifer on something, but their fans are starting to get out of hand...

Knows what shipping is in concept, he may have done it once or twice to characters in his books, but he was kind of surprised how it could evolve into such a… group activity?

He was pretty quick to pick up that the MC’s fans had a bit more interest in them together than they did when they both were apart…

I mean, those hideous shirts that Mammon was pedaling were kind of a dead giveaway…

Considering he finds their fanclub all rather annoying, even without their bizarre interest in his love life, when they started actively meddling with him and the MC he was ready to smash some heads.

No. He will not stop for pictures. No. What things they do together is none of your business. No. He has zero interest in seeing your explicit fanart and if you don’t start running that will be the last question you ever ask.

He DOES, however, appreciate the cringy “annoy Lucifer” ammo. They could keep that up for a lifetime... 😏

He doesn’t have a least favorite ship because he doesn’t care about any of this, leave him alone. (That’s a lie, it’s MC x Lucifer. He pokes fun at Lucifer, but he can’t stand it either. Big shock, I know 🙄).

Asmodeus 

Oh he is shamelessly a part of the community, are you kidding?? 

He could practically call “Shipping the MC” one of his favorite pastimes. He’ll openly gossip with their fanclub about who they’ve been with, who they’re seeing, who’s got a chance, etc… He lives for this shit!

He’s the only person who knows that Levi is also in the community and what his aliases are (not because he told him, but because Levi’s not as subtle as he thinks he is… Who else would call themselves “SupremeRuri666” and speak mostly in outdated chat lingo?) but he doesn’t out him because he thinks his very obvious crush is kind of cute. 

Plus, Levi needs the outlet waaaay more than him…

Doesn’t stop him from constantly trolling him and getting into arguments over who the MC would be better with though (the two are “virtual nemeses” as far as Levi is concerned).

Appreciates all forms of expression that comes out of the community (especially the saucy kind 😏) and will happily feed into his own shippers without a care in the world.

Truthfully, Asmo will say that there isn’t a ship he doesn’t like but if someone mentions one that he thinks is kind of “eh,” he’ll just add himself into the mix. “Oh, you like MC x Barbatos? Well how about Asmo x MC x Barbatos? That sounds loads more interesting doesn’t it??”

Beelzebub 

Oh, Beel… Sweet, sweet Beel… Beel doesn’t even know what their club is doing…

Because Beel has a reputation of being pretty protective of MC - and against the fanclub in general - the club keeps a healthy distance… but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to sneak in some picture or make a SHITLOAD of fanwork about them.

Between classes and practice Beel is a busy guy, so sometimes he just doesn’t notice that there’s people hiding behind trees when he’s out with MC. 

Honestly, his complete ignorance of it all makes it even cuter because when he acts sweet, it’s not just for the camera. That’s the real deal.

Mammon was the one who eventually let it slip that there was even shipping happening and Beel was… kind of creeped out because isn’t this stalking? But also kind of weirdly happy(?) that MC x Beel was so popular… Very conflicted boy here.

He never actually acknowledges the community, though, and just keeps on being Beel (which still gave the fans more than enough material so all’s well that ends well?)

Beel genuinely doesn’t have a least favorite ship (because he believes the best ship is whoever makes the MC happy) but his second favorite under himself is probably MC x Belphie. They look very cute together...  😊

Belphegor 

Ride or die, Beel x MC x Belphie. 

Just kidding (kind of), Belphie isn’t into the shipping but if asked he’d be pretty okay with that one.

His campaign against the MC’s fanclub and their attention stealing ways means that he found out about their shipping thing only slightly ahead of Beel when Mammon was trying to get pictures of them napping together…

Honestly, he couldn’t care less if a bunch of weirdos were weirdly invested in their relationship, but he’s not about to let Mammon just make a quick Grimm off of it. Belphie makes sure that he gives him NOTHING to work with. 

Since Mammon is the main dealer, the shippers in both the MC fanclub and Belphie fanclub aren’t nearly as well fed and pretty desperate for anything... You best believe he plays that to his advantage (because it’s okay if he does. He’s not Mammon).

Really helps that MC x Belphie is legitimately a very cute looking couple, carried by Belphie’s cuteness alone if nothing else. Add an adorable MC and you reach levels so cute it could actually melt people into puddles of goo... They could be a registered weapon.

Least favorite MC ships are any that don’t involve him or Beel. Any others may as well just not exist, he won’t even acknowledge them. MC x Who? Yeah, that’s what he thought.

#i guess this is a series now #wasn't expecting that #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me suggestions

[thewritetofreespeech]

Can you do a scenario Obey Me were MC has a accidental nip slip that she doesnt notice, but the brothers do.

For the sake of an even playing field, all 7 boys will be reacting to the same scenario: coming to wake MC up in the morning for school only for their titty to be half out.

Lucifer

His knock was polite, but stern. Three short raps, followed by a long pause, before he let himself in. “[Y/N], I have to insist you get up now. You will be late for classes.”

You groan and cruel further into yourself under the covers. Trying to hold on to your sleep, but it was already slipping away through your fingers. With a huff you uncoil yourself and come out from under the covers. “Alright. I’m up.” You announce. Awake but still dreamy eyed as you rubbed the sleep from them.

When your eyes refocus, you see Lucifer staring at you. His face it’s normal placid expression, but definitely staring. “What’s wrong?” You ask. Was your hair some sort of crazy way?

The demon smirked and walked over to you. You blush as he came close to your bed and bent over, rebuttoning your pajama top that had come open in the middle of the night and left your left side exposed. How embarrassing?!

“Perhaps I should come wake you up more often.” He said with a sultry smirk. “Or at least not on a day when you have school. Now, I must insist you get ready. Our model exchange student can’t be late for their day.” He gave you a peck on the cheek and saw his way out. You have to wonder if he was really going to ‘wake you up’ on Saturday…..

Mammon

The loud sound of your door being flung open startled you from your sleep, and practically out of bed. “Hey, hey, hey! Time to get up sleepy head!”

“Mammon!” You growl from under the covers. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“I came to wake you up. Lucifer told me to make sure you’re ready for school. Even Belphie beat you downstairs. Come on. Chop chop!”

You groan and fling your covers off. Sitting up to scratch your head. Hopefully your day was more peaceful after this.

“[Y-Y-Y/N]! What the hell?!” You look over at the demon who had gone from horribly confident to horribly red & stammering in a matter of moments. “Do you always sleep like that?!”

You look down, trying to see what the big deal was, and realizing your chest was exposed. “N-No! It just came off in my sleep! Who are you to judge anyway?! You sleep naked!”

“Yeah! But not with anyone around!”

“You’re not supposed to be around!” You pick up a pillow and toss it at him, which he easily dodged, before shouting, “get out!” The demon did as he was told and scampered off, like a rabbit with his tail on fire.

He avoided you for the rest of the day. Making eye contact but fervently darting his gaze away. Mammon finally came up to you after dinner to apologize, and promised that if he had to wake you up again, he would knock first.

Levi

You were dreaming about pancakes when there was a knock at your door. Quiet, at first. Almost like someone’s knuckles barely touched the door. Then they knocked again, seeming to realize that the first few knocks were no good, knocking with confidence.

“[Y/N]-chan? Are you awake?” You open your eyes from your blanket nest to see Levi poking his head in. “It’s time for school.”

“Oh…yeah…” You yawn after that. Cutting off whatever else you were going to say after that. You shouldn’t have let Levi talk you into watching an anime marathon with him. You’d only gone to sleep a few hours ago. “What time is it?”

The demon looked down at his watch while you got out of bed, and when he looked up his face was completely red.

“[Y-Y-Y/N]! Y-Your….! Ah! I’m so sorry!!”

You blink in a start as Levi slammed the door as he ran away. You wonder what happened, but then catch sight of yourself in the mirror. Your top half exposed. You blush yourself at realizing why he had taken off, but get over the mortification quickly as you had to get ready for school.

Poor Levi couldn’t come near you for several days after that without turning beet red or becoming a stammering idiot. You have to assure him several times that it was really ok, and that your honor was intact, but he promised never to come get your up for school ever again.

Satan

There was a sharp rap at your door that awoke you from your slumber.

“[Y/N], are you awake?”

“Satan?” You question. Hearing his voice from the other side of the door. What was he doing here so early?

Seeming to sense your question, the fourth eldest brother replied in kind. “Lucifer sent me to get you. He was concerned you would be late for school since you weren’t down at breakfast yet. May I come in?”

You chuckle lightly at his polite request and tell him he could come in. Your arms stretching over your head as the door opened and the blonde walked in. “Ah good. You are awake. I was concerned that…uh….um….”

You blink curiously as Satan seemed to lose his train of thought. Unusual for him, as he was typically such a word smith, so you had to ask. “Satan? Is something wrong?”

“I ah…ahem!” The demon cleared his throat. Covering his face with his hand, hiding his blush, as he looked away. “I uh…apologize. I should have given you more time to get ready before I let myself in. Or at least properly dressed.”

Your brow furrowed and you look down to see your pajama top open and blush. Quickly closing it with an apology. “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s...quite alright. I’ll uh…ahem…leave you to get ready now that I know your awake. I’ll see you at school.”

The demon, who normally walked with such purpose and confidence, seemed to stumble in his walk out of your room. Seeming to want to stay, but fighting the urge and forcing himself to leave. Apparently after he had left, he’d gotten into a fight with Mammon and threw him into a wall. You suppose that energy had to go somewhere.

Asmo

A light, delicate rapping on your door woke you up from your peaceful dream about cupcakes and French lattes. The sound was whimsical. Almost like a bird. After that, the smell of roses filled the room as the door opened and the Avatar of Lust appeared.

“Gooood morning darling~!” Asmodeus cheered as he let himself in. Practically gliding across the room and perching himself on the edge of your bed. “Wake up sleeping beauty! Classes will be starting soon, and we don’t want to be late. You need to get up, so you can get ready and look your best.”

You groan softly, but come out from under the covers as requested. He was right. It was time to get ready.

“Aaahh~! [Y/N]! You naughty thing. Tempting me this early in the morning.” You blink the last big of sleep from your gaze, and look down to see where his was trained. You yip as you realize he was staring at your exposed breast, and smacked his hand away when it inched closer.

“Asmodeus!”

The androgenous demon giggled at your scolding, but pulled his hand away in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. I was only kidding.” You have to wonder if he was only ‘kidding’ now that he got rejected. “Let’s just keep this our little secret, ok? I don’t want my brothers getting super jealous about seeing our beautiful [Y/N] in their morning glory. They’ll be banging down the door every morning to get a peek.” Asmo then winked, leaning in to steal a quick peck on your cheek, before he jumped up. “I’ll be waiting for you downstairs~! Unless you need help getting ready. I have too good hands and a lot of enthusiasm for a chore like that.”

The demon giggled brightly all the way out of the room as your tossed pillows at him like rose petals to show him the door.

Beel

The knock on your door was loud, though you could tell not intentionally. It was more a factor of the large fist knocking on it, rather than the force, of the largest of the seven brothers coming to wake you.

“[Y/N]?” You heard Beel’s voice from under your blanket nest. Smiling soft at the gentle way he’d come to wake you up. He must have a lot of experience with Belphie. “Lucifer asked me to come get you up for school. I brought you some breakfast. I didn’t want you to miss out.” You hear what you assume is a tray being sat on your desk. “Some of it didn’t make it all the way here, but most of it did! I tried to keep your favorites safe for you. Mammon wanted the last Hellfire sausage, but I got it for you.”

Your soft smile increased as you pictured the bright, sun like smile on the gentle giants face. Proud of himself for getting it and keeping himself from eating it for you. “Thanks Beel,” you tell him. Coming out from under your covers to see that smiling face in person.

You see it for a moment before his face feel. His eyes averting away from you, and his cheeks turning around as red as his carrot top. “Uh..[Y/N]…your top is kind of falling off.”

You look down and gasp, quickly covering ourself up. “I’m sorry!!”

“That’s ok.” Beel said with a soft laugh. “It happens. Plus, you’ve seen me with my shirt off all the time. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not exactly the same….” You mutter quietly into your blanket.

Beel just laughed jovially again, and came over to pat your head. “Come on. Your breakfast is getting cold. I’ll leave so you can eat and get ready. Do you want me to walk you to first period when you’re done?” You nodded into your blankets this time. “Ok! I’ll meet you in the lobby when you’re done.”

With another big smile, your big guy left. Letting you change and enjoy your breakfast, with Hellfire sausage.

Belphie

“Oy…[Y/N]….wake up….”

“Mhmp….Belphie?” Your eyes crack open as he gently shook you. When had he come into your room? You hadn’t heard him knock, or even the door open. Had he just let himself in? “What are you doing here?”

“Stupid Lucifer told me to come get you up for school.” He told you. “I don’t know why. I’m not good at waking people up. I’m barely awake myself.” His statement was punctuated with a long yawn.

You sleepily chuckle and sit up. “Well, you are up. So you’re doing better than me.”

His droopy eyes were looking at you, or perhaps more specifically in your direction. He seemed to be looking at something totally other than your face, and you were about to ask him what when he said, “your boob is sticking out.” Pointing for affect.

You look down to where he was pointing and squeal. Closing your pajama top tight with both hands. “Belphegor! Don’t stare!”

“Why not? It’s nothing haven’t seen before. Remember when your top came off at the beach last summer?”

“That is not something I want to remember right now! And it is not the same! Get out!”

The Sloth demon picked at his ear in annoyance of your yelling, but gave a soft ‘yeah, yeah’ as he saw himself out. Mission accomplished.

He doesn’t seem to understand why you were annoyed with him for the rest of the day, but still made an effort to apologize after a while so you would talk to him again. Only he was allowed to do the silent treatment.

#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers) #;behind the veil (anon response) #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me mammon #mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphie #obey lucifer #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader #obey me beel x reader #beel x reader #beelzebub x reader #obey me belpie x reader #belphie x reader #belphie x mc #mammon x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me levi x reader #obey me asmo x reader #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios #scenarios #imagines

[kirishimaswife2819]

Them With a Foreign S/o || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Kaminari

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x foreign!Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x foreign!Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x foreign!reader, Shoto Todoroki x foreign!reader, and Denki Kaminari x foreign!reader

Requested by Anonymous: hello! could i request some headcanons with the boys wherein their s/o's a foreigner? like, they have trouble speaking japanese and all. thank you and i hope you have a lovely day! <33

Word Count: 1.4k

Notes: Everything in italics is spoken in Japanese, h/c=home country

A/n: Hi! Thanks for requesting! I hope I wrote this well. Sorry that Kiri’s is sort of short, I couldn’t think of anything else for him. Hope you enjoy these- Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

Izuku thinks it’s really cool that you are foreign

He’ll ask you a lot of questions about your home country, and be really patient with you as you try to explain it in Japanese

He does seem to notice that you have a bit of a hard time expressing yourself or showing your real personality while your talking in Japanese, just because you don’t know the right words to say

So, he starts learning your native language, so it’s easier for the two of you to talk to each other and get to know each other better

He revealed to you that he was learning your native language, and after that, you two tutored each other in each other’s language

Once you could finally be yourself around Izuku, the two of you got along pretty well and you two ended up with crushes on each other

You two got together, because you overheard him talking to one of his friends about how he had a crush on you and didn’t know what to do about it

“You should ask me out.”

“I already-” He paused when he realized that the voice did not come from his friend, and instead from behind him, and then he realized it was your voice and his face turned beet red

Anyways, you ended up confessing your feelings for him as well and you two got together

He always asks questions about where you’re originally from and he has a whole page in his notebook about your favorite things to do at home, and fun facts about your hometown

Since you haven’t had a whole ton of Japanese foods, or done activities that were common in Japan, he likes taking you on dates specifically to do things exclusive to Japan

If there’s a certain snack you like from your country that isn’t available in Japan, and you tell Izuku, he’ll order it online for you, and have it shipped to you, so you can still have it

Katsuki Bakugou:

At first, he thought you were really stupid

How were you supposed to become a hero when you can’t even understand half the shit that your classmates are saying?

But over time, he found himself liking your personality

He liked your determination to become a hero, even if you were having trouble understanding your classmates

I feel like Bakugou speaks multiple languages, so he would be able to talk to you in your first language

The two of you actually became friends, because he got sick of you messing up your Japanese

You were saying something to Mina, who was waiting patiently while you tried to figure out how to explain it in Japanese

Bakugou was listening in and the second he heard you mess up a word, he went, “God, it’s not that fucking hard.”

“Bakugou! Don’t be mean to them. They’re trying,” Mina said, scolding the ash blonde

“Do you want to teach me?” You question, sarcastically of course, switching back to your native language, since you knew Bakugou knew it

“If it’ll keep you from speaking in that shitty Japanese then yeah.”

And that’s how your relationship with Bakugou began

Every Wednesday and Friday night, you would go over to his dorm and he would practice Japanese with you for a few hours. He was kind of mean about it, and scolded you when you messed up, but you were quickly learning Japanese

Over time, you two ended up getting pretty close and became friends, and eventually he confessed his feelings for you and you two started dating

You two now talked in Japanese most of the time, but you would still unconsciously switch back to your native language, since it was what you were used to

If you’re ever homesick, Bakugou will make you some kind of food that is from your country and he knows that you like, and then he’ll watch a movie from your country with you

Eijiro Kirishima:

Kirishima is actually the first friend you make at U.A.

I know I say that in a lot of my different headcanon posts, but come on, he’s way too nice and accepting to not be your first friend

Whenever you guys first met, he was so patient while you tried speaking Japanese

He offers to teach you Japanese, but he low key sucks at teaching stuff, so after he realizing he’s not really helping, he finds an app for you to download on your phone that can help you learn more (if you don’t already have one)

Once your pretty fluent in Japanese, the two of you get along even better now that you’re able to communicate better

Eventually he confesses his feelings for you and the two of you get together

He likes when you tell stories about things that have happened to you in your old country, or crazy things that have happened in your hometown

He’ll commonly look up recipes from your country, and try to make them with you

Shoto Todoroki:

When Shoto found out that you were foreign, he really didn’t care all that much

You were just another student in his class, why should he be more curious about you than he would anybody else?

At least that’s what he thought, up until Aizawa paired you two up for a project

Shoto had a tendency to correct your Japanese whenever you two were talking, not realizing that it may hurt your feelings or embarrass you

He only realized this when he was working on the project with you in the library, and Midoriya was right next to the two of you and he kept hearing Shoto correct you

So Izuku pulled him off to the side and told him to stop correcting you, because it’s probably embarrassing you

After that, Shoto felt sort of bad, but he felt it would be more awkward if he apologized, so he didn’t

While you two worked on the project, Shoto got to know you and ended up developing a little crush on you

He talked to Midoriya about this, and he told Shoto that he should ask you out

He wasn’t sure how he should do it, so he asked Midoriya again, and he suggested that Shoto should learn how to ask you out in your native language and then ask you out like that

Shoto did it and it worked

He helped you learn Japanese better, and your relationship was going great

He doesn’t really pay any special attention to the fact that you’re from a different country, he only really remembers it when you two are going out to eat and you ask about what a certain food is and if it’s good or not

Denki Kaminari:

Denki got so excited when he found out that there was going to be a foreign student coming to U.A.

The second he saw you, he immediately was attracted to you and wanted to ask you out

So, the second you sat down in your new class before class started, he was up immediately and flirting with you

But since you didn’t know very much Japanese, you had no idea what he was saying, so you just sort of brushed it off

Denki got kind of upset about it, and just left you alone, since it was obvious that you didn’t like him

He only realized that you didn’t understand him when he was telling his friends about it later, and they told him that you probably didn’t know much Japanese

You ended up looking up half the things he said to you after school that day, and blushed when you realized he was complimenting you

The next day you walked up to him in class and apologized for brushing him off, before explaining the situation, which he already knew

You two ended up getting along pretty well

Before you two got to know each other, he just found you attractive because of your looks, but now he found you attractive because of your looks and personality

Eventually, he admits his feelings for you, and you return them, so you two start dating

For some reason, he loves to flex that you’re from a different country

Like if anybody says that you’re a cute couple, he’ll be like “Yeah, I know. They’re from h/c.”

He’ll sometimes ask what a certain word means in your native language, so he can compliment you in that language

He tries to learn the whole language, but it confuses him way too much

He even tries watching some of his favorite films, but in your native language, but he always gets bored halfway through and turns on the Japanese version

#izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #midoriya x reader #katsuki bakugou #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #eijiro kirishima x reader #eijiro x reader #eijiro kirishima #kirishima x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #denki kaminari x reader #denki x reader #denki kaminari #kaminari x reader #headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #headcanon post #mha x reader #bnha x reader #request #mha requests #bnha requests

[wheelsup]

a friendly bet

category: fluff/humor, spencer x reader warnings: briefly jealous Spencer word count: 1.34k A/N: this blurb was requested by loml @rigatonireid! the prompts are: "you're absolutely dreadful" + "you're my favorite know-it-all"

Spencer Reid really does know it all. His intelligence might be the most attractive thing about him — tied with his face, his hair, his height, his kind eyes.... Maybe Spencer Reid is just overall attractive and you love everything about him, inside and out.

So yes, you’re completely biased on the topic of your boyfriend, but you are aware not everyone shares this fondness of his brain.

He can’t really help that he corrects people all the time — his impulse just takes the steering wheel and makes his mouth move before he can consider if it’s appropriate to comment. The rest of the team is familiar with the quirk, but even they still take offense from time to time.

And the strangers you meet on cases are even less receptive to it. Local law enforcement tends to think that the FBI only shows up to throw their weight around their city, and Reid’s little know-it-all interjections only increase the tension.

It makes it that much harder to get along with them, which isn’t always something your team can afford when the stakes are high. So, you decided to make him a friendly bet that he couldn’t go one whole day without correcting someone on an instance it wasn’t truly necessary.

“I thought you liked my rambling?” Spencer’s bottom lip curled into a pout that you quickly smoothed away with your thumbs.

“I do! I just… think it might make things easier if you hold back a little. Some of the guys here are getting their feelings hurt.” You laughed and stroked his cheek, coaxing a smile out of him. Your proposition wasn’t a criticism of him. It was of everyone else.

“There’s no way I correct people that much,” Spencer scoffed and rolled his eyes, playfully pushing your face away from him like you were being ridiculous.

“Then take the bet and we’ll find out.”

And sorry to say, there was a way.

Not an hour into the day, the vein on Spencer’s forehead was at danger of bursting through his skin. It only came out when he was angry or deep in focus, and you really couldn’t pick which of the two were causing it now. (It was a bit of both.)

This morning, you were trailing about thirty feet behind everyone when coming into the station and Spencer, being the good boyfriend he is, held the door open for you the extra ten seconds. The receptionist at the front desk subsequently chewed him out about ‘letting all of the cold air come into the office’.

That was Spencer’s first test of the day.

Surely, every person in the world knows that’s not how thermodynamics work. Not even close. And if she didn’t know that, that was definitely cause for concern. So really, this felt like a necessary time for Spencer to speak up. For her sake.

But he saw the way your eyebrow quirked up and he knew it was a challenge. It was too easy of a win for you. So he decided to bite his tongue and apologize for the inconvenience.

His second test rose from an argument between Morgan and Prentiss. The barista Hotch picked up drinks from messed up the team’s order and they discovered they were short one coffee. Both threw empty threats at the other and insisted they needed the drink more, but it had come to a stalemate.

“Emily, I worked late last night.”

“What happened to ladies first?” She slid the cup to herself, and Morgan snatched it right back.

“I’m not seeing any lady here!”

Before Emily tossed her chair at Morgan’s head, Hotch suggested they just flip a coin to make it totally fair.

Spencer’s brain was screaming inside: The odds of a coin toss are actually 51/49! Trials have shown that a coin favors landing on the side that was facing up when it was thrown, so really, whoever picks that side has a better chance!

It isn’t so much a correction as it is a fun fact. A harmless little fun fact, surely people would like to hear it! He should share it, they’ll love it.

But you remembered Spencer telling you about this once before, and your eyes are narrowing on him with a smug expression.

‘Come on. Tell them’ your face seems to say. He knows it’s bait, and he doesn’t bite. Thirty-seven minutes into the day. He can do it.

And to your surprise, he did last. For a while. (A while being an hour and twenty-four minutes.)

After the morning briefing, Spencer saw some young male deputy follow you into the conference room. Where you were working. Alone. Why the hell did he need to speak to you alone?

He’s tall with cover-boy good looks (much like Spencer himself), but the thing that Spencer hated most about him was the way he’d been looking at you all week. It’s a nicer word than Spencer would use — he’d say it was more like staring. Watching. Creeping.

Yeah, that’s the one. He’s a creep and Spencer’s very suspicious of him.

So, he did what anyone would do and hid behind a tall potted plant near the window to peek into the room through the blinds. (It’s very inconspicuous, they should use him to go undercover sometime.)

“Can I help you with something?” You gave a polite, tight-lipped smile.

“Yeah, I was just, uh—” he forced a laugh and rubbed his neck in some lame attempt to be charming that made Spencer roll his eyes. “I was wondering if you could fill me in on the investigation.”

He placed a couple of files onto the table next to you and rested a hand on the back of your chair.

You blinked uncomfortably between his sudden proximity and the flirtatious expression adorning his face. “Oh, uh, did you miss the briefing?”

He shook his head no. He was there, he was just making an excuse to come talk to you.

“Could you talk me through it again? I guess I’ve got the memory of a goldfish.” He flashed a smile and leaned his elbow on the table, effectively boxing you in with his whole body.

Before you could tell him to kindly fuck off, you got distracted by the sound of rustling leaves. Then four seconds later, Spencer burst in through the door.

“Actually!” he huffed, a little out of breath, “Goldfish have a long-term memory ranging from three to five months.” Once he catches it, he crosses his arms over his chest and straightens out his spine to make himself bigger. “So you should be able to figure it out on your own. Unless your brain is smaller than a goldfish’s, of course.”

You have to clamp a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing at the deputy’s beet-red face. Spencer scrambled to pick up the files and shoved them back into the deputy’s arms as he “gently” ushered him out the door.

“That was cute of you.” You left a soft kiss on that protruding forehead vein that was finally beginning to go away. “You lost, by the way.”

.

“There’s no way you’re making me do this.” Spencer stood in front of your bathroom mirror with the grimmest expression on his face.

“Sorry, cutie, but you lost,” you teased, preening his hair into place.

A few weeks ago you saw an old picture of Spencer with his hair slicked back, and it’s all you’ve been thinking about ever since. You thought it made him look model-level good and begged him to do it again, but he was of a different opinion. Now, he had no choice in the matter.

“I can’t go to work like this, I’ll look like a joke. There has to be something else!”

“This is the only thing I want.”

He sighed, shoulders sinking as his whole body deflated. “You’re absolutely dreadful.”

You planted a sloppy, exaggerated kiss on his furrowed brows and continued combing the gel into his hair. “And you are my favorite know-it-all.”

-

visual aid (tumblr wouldn't let me insert it ugh)

-

taglist: @ellesgreenaway @suburban--gothic @sturmmhond @ssa-sarahsunshine @mercy-burning @reidspurple @mediocre-writer @honeyboysteezy @blondefrnk @andreasworlsboring101 @ssa-m-187 @calm-and-doctor @drayshadow @s1utformgg @reidgifs @no-alarms-no-surprises-silence @you-sunshine @altsvu @reidtheprettyboy @goose-eats-god @sonnydoesrandomshit

broken tags: @iamonlyhereforcriminalmindsthings

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid insert #criminal minds fic #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds self insert #mgg #criminal minds #my fic #pinned

[actuallysaiyan]

Oh, YES!! Okay, I’m the married sex/Yamcha kink anon from a few days ago. Here’s the scenario: Yamcha and his wife (reader 😉) are at their wedding reception at Capsule Corp because Bulma loves an excuse to throw party. It’s getting late and Yamcha’s antsy to get the reader home so they can go at it all night. But then he somehow convinces her to sneak off with him for a little relief? Maybe him fingering her or something? Bonus points if Bulma catches them. 😂

Word count: 1,033 Pairings: Yamcha x Reader Warnings: Smut, fingering, some oral sex, getting caught/exhibitionism, slight breeding kink mentions. Summary: It's your wedding night and all Yamcha wants is to get a little alone time with you. A/N: So so so so sorry this took forever!!! I really hope you enjoy it. It's a little humorous, but also so sexy.

You couldn’t stop looking over at your husband. You were already getting used to thinking of him as your husband, but it was still new. You had just gotten married today after all. As he mingles with the guests at your reception, you can tell that he’s very happy. He’s got the biggest smile on his face you’ve ever seen.

“Why are you just standing here all by yourself?” You hear Puar ask you. You look over at Puar and just shrug.

“I think I just wanted to watch Yamcha from this angle. He’s so happy,” You explain, giggling a little.

“You two are way too sappy for me!” Puar jokes.

You follow Puar to your husband. Once he sees you, he’s whole demeanor changes. His eyes become solely focused on you. His smile doesn’t dim, instead it becomes brighter. Yamcha turns to you and takes your hands in his.

“I was starting to wonder if you had run off on me,” Yamcha makes a lame joke. You just lean in to kiss him.

“I would never do that. You have me for life.” You tell him as you caress his face. Yamcha sighs at your touch.

For a few moments, the two of you are alone as the guests mingle with each other. Yamcha gives you a very mischievous grin. You know he’s up to something, but what he’s up to, you aren’t sure.

“What would you say if you and I found somewhere more private, huh?”

You blush as you consider his words. He wants to fool around. You don’t think anything bad about it, but you know that you’re also at your wedding reception. Would it be weird or inappropriate if you and your husband were to sneak off to relieve some tension?

Yamcha only needs to see you nod once and he’s grabbing you by the hand. Nobody suspects anything or sees you leave the party room. It’s quieter in the hallways as Yamcha leads you to a very secluded room. You try to stifle your giggles, but you are finding it harder and harder as he leads you further into the Capsule Corp. building.

In a spare bedroom, Yamcha finally has you all to himself. The first thing he does is lean in to kiss you passionately. You can feel his arms wrap around you to pull you in closer, but once you are close enough, his hands run down your back to your ass. He squeezes it firmly as he pulls you even closer. You groan against his lips as he continues teasing you, this time he spreads your cheeks a little.

“Get on the bed,” He says in a gruff tone. You don’t hesitate. You can feel your heart racing as Yamcha gets on top of you.

“I wanna fuck you so bad right now, but we don’t have enough time for that. I wanna show my pretty wife how good of a husband I can be.” Yamcha explains, and you can feel your stomach flip. There’s a warmth that blooms deep inside of you as he pushes up the skirt of your wedding dress.

When his fingers toy with your clothed pussy, you grab onto his arm and moan his name. He smirks as he listens to the sweet noises you make when he stimulates you. Yamcha has always loved making you cum. It’s one of his favorite things in life.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous. I can’t wait to pump you full of cum later on tonight, baby.” Yamcha says as he leans in to kiss you. You feel him push your panties aside and run his fingers through your wet folds.

You try to bite back your moans as his fingers plunge into you, but you can barely contain it. Yamcha doesn’t do anything to quiet you, instead he picks up his pace and makes you whine even more. His thumb comes up to rub your clit slowly, drawing out your pleasure.

“Yamcha, please…” you whine as he continues to fuck you with his fingers. He slows down his pace a little and then pulls out his fingers.

“What if I had a taste of you before we leave here tonight? Want me to taste you, baby?” Yamcha asks, bringing his wet fingers to his mouth. He sucks on them with a moan, looking you in the eyes.

“Gotta taste that pussy, you taste so fucking good.”

He gets on his knees between your thighs and leans in to press a kiss to your clit. Yamcha takes a moment to let you become impatient as your hips buck up against him. That’s when he starts lapping at your dripping pussy. You groan as his tongue swirls around your clit.

“Yes! Yamcha! FUCK!” You cry out as he continues to devour you. His fingers come up to tease your aching hole, finally they slide in with ease.

“Baby, you taste amazing.” Yamcha mutters against your wet pussy.

Both of you are so caught up in your own little world together that you don’t notice someone calling both your names. The voice gets closer and closer to the door of the bedroom that you’re in.

When Bulma opens the door, she’s shocked. There’s something about seeing her ex-boyfriend eating out his new wife that really makes her stop and gasp. Yamcha pulls away from your soaking wet pussy to face her.

“Like what you see, Bulma? You wanna join in?” Yamcha taunts her and she turns beet red. She turns on her heel and leaves the room, clearly mortified.

Yamcha turns to face you. You are also blushing, but Yamcha doesn’t mind that. He just begins kissing your inner thighs, reminding you of the amazing pleasure from just mere moments ago.

“She’s missing out. I give good head,” Yamcha brags as he leans in to give you a long lick from weeping hole to clit. You feel your whole body shiver whenever he does this.

Yamcha pays no mind to anything else, instead he focuses on you alone. Everyone knows to leave the two of you alone as a disturbed Bulma tells the party guests that you are both getting to know each other more intimately.

#writing #reader requested #anon requested #yamcha #yamcha x you #yamcha x reader #yamcha x y/n #yamcha lemon #yamcha smut #dragon ball #dragon ball z #dbz #dragon ball smut #dragon ball z smut

[kerie-prince]

clumsy

Hermione Granger x fem Slytherin!reader (fluff)

requested: (@chokemepansy) im terrible at requesting because i blank on ideas BUT anything for hermione please <3 take your time ily 💓

warnings: a single curse word, but mainly just soft hours

summary: Hermione has her very first date with you at Hogsmeade (song inspo from Fergie's Clumsy) (pardon my lame ass summary)

a/n: ty for requesting, luv 🥺 hope you like it! i made the reader slytherin just bc of you <3 and yes, i put in an outfit inspo but it's not like the cringy ones from wattpad

(gif not mine, cred to owner)

You came to love the smell of parchment and books. The sound of pages being turned, the feeling of a new book in your hands. You loved them because it made you think of Hermione.

Merlin, you were infatuated with everything about her. The excitement in her voice when she talked about her favorite books, the small paper cuts on her fingers from turning the pages – she didn't mind them as it was normal for her – and the look on her face when she received praise from professors.

She was all you thought about and you wanted to go to the top of the Astronomy Tower and yell out "I LOVE HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER" for the whole school to hear. And you were positive she felt the same. Hermione would refuse to let go of your hands when you walked together from class and on some occasions, you'd catch her staring at you during study sessions. Just like she was doing now.

"Miss Granger, for the last time, I am asking you what are the contents of polyjuice potion?" Snape was hovered over her desk. Hermione jumped in her seat and turned to face the brooding professor. Your Slytherin housemates who sat at the back of class laughed at her startled state as she named the contents. You looked back and glared at them all. When Snape left your table and continued his lecture, you leaned closer to Hermione and whispered as low as you could, “Are you okay? You seem kind of distracted,” you noticed.

“Y-yes, I'm fine,” Hermione stuttered. Snape excused the class and Hermione waited for you to be done packing your things just so she could hold your hand to the Great Hall. “Are we still going to Hogsmeade on Saturday?” you asked.

“Harry’s got detention with McGonagall for ‘ accidentally’ turning Crabbe into a water goblet in class,” Hermione used her free hand to make air quotations, “and Ron’s busy with Lavender that day.” She had a sad look on her face, thinking that they wouldn't be able to go to Hogsmeade after all. You picked up on it and had an idea. “So, just the two of us then?”

Hermione’s chest became warm, “Okay. It's a date.” Your eyes slightly bulged out and to Hermione, you had an indistinguishable smile, “I mean, not like a date date, but a girls date.” You weren't sure if she meant it like that, but you laughed at her stumbling her words. The always composed girl becoming a cute, blubbering mess for you. Not that you knew for sure it was because for you but you’d given it a lot of thought.

She never held Harry’s hand like she did yours unless he was upset about something and she was comforting him. And she certainly never held Ron’s hand. Nor does she ever hug him knowing Lavender would go ballistic. Not that she’d ever want to. He was her best friend, yeah but she had never gotten used to it. They both had an unspoken thing to not hug.

“Sounds fun,” you chirped, “can’t wait for it.” You gave her a lingering hug before going to your table. You sat in between your best friends Pansy and Daphne. Pansy had a smirk on her lips once you were in her line of sight, “Did you finally tell Granger?” You knew what she was talking about and nudged her arm with your elbow, “Shut it.” The two girls chuckled and gave each other knowing looks. “I might tell her on Saturday,” you disclosed.

They had matching shocked faces; for nearly a year, they’ve watched you pace around their shared dorm debate with yourself whether or not to tell her about how you feel. You’d have a sparkle in your eyes every time you talked about her and nearly spent every day with her. They weren't upset about it. In fact, they couldn't wait to see you two together. But you were unexpectedly insecure by thinking of the worst case scenario in which she’d reject you.

“That’s great, Y/N/N. I’m so happy for you. I know everything will turn out well,” Daphne supported. Pansy nodded and pointed to Daphne as to say ‘Me too’. You grabbed the hands of both girls and held them tightly, “Thanks, girls. I love you guys.” You wrapped an arm around both of them and brought them in for a hug. Daphne returned it while Pansy made a fake coughing sound. “I can’t b-breathe,” she exaggerates. You held on for a couple seconds more before letting go and started eating. “Okay, so how is this happening?” Pansy asked.

“We’re going to Hogsmeade together on Saturday,” you inquired. “So the whole lot is going as well?” Pansy was talking about Harry and Ron of course.

“No, just the two of us alone,” you replied, taking a bite of the chicken on your plate.

“You mean, this is a date?” Daphne exclaimed. “We’re going to help pick an outfit, no questions asked.” She had a stern look that dared you to talk back. As sweet as Daphne is, once her mind is set to something, she doesn't budge. You accepted it and was met with her usual warm smile. Inside, you were ecstatic and couldn't wait for Saturday. Your crush has gone on for too long, and you were tired of waiting.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

Your dorm mates got you up at the crack of dawn. And by crack of dawn, it was actually 10 am at most. They made you change into every outfit they picked out which totaled in 8. You appreciated everything they were doing, but some of the outfits were too much for a day in Hogsmeade. Daphne picked out tennis skirts with cropped argyle sweaters. Pansy picked short dresses that stopped at your mid-thigh and black wool turtlenecks to go over them. They had completely different aesthetics which is what probably made them perfect friends.

You settled on something casual; a thick striped long sleeve polo with light blue jeans and white trainers. It was going to be a nice spring day and you didn't want to wear something that would be too short and you get cold later. Daphne did your hair in two French plaits and Pansy did your makeup modestly. Once you were done, it was noon and you rushed to meet Hermione for your ‘girl date’.

She took the air straight from your lungs. She looked more breathtaking than the night of the Yule Ball. You distinctly remember being incredibly jealous of Viktor Krum and beat yourself up for not asking her before he did. But now, if he was here, you were sure that the famous Quidditch athlete would be jealous of you.

Hermione’s usually wild hair was tamed into smooth wavy curls that framed her delicate face. She wore a floral print button up that was definitely new as you’ve never seen it before. Or did she save it just for you? Her navy jeans hugged her ankles and she donned light pink flats. And probably for the first time since the Yule Ball, she had mascara and lipgloss on. Casual, but perfect.

Your face was flushed, and you weren't sure if she was also blushing or if maybe she was just wearing blush. “Shall we?” You reached out to grab her hands – her soft hands – and waited for her response. She didn't say anything when she laced her fingers with yours and started walking on the path to Hogsmeade. Hermione was about to say that you looked pretty when she tripped over a small rock on the pathway. “Are you okay?” you expressed concern. She was still holding onto your hand as she steadied herself up, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

You snorted and had to hold the butterbeer in your mouth, “Ron did what?” Hermione laughed as she told you how Lavender exploded on Ron for forgetting their anniversary and when he tried to make it up by giving her chocolates that he got from his older brothers, Lavender instantly grew a huge chin that drooped over her neck. Ron had gotten so mad at them and in unison, they told him ‘Why’d you think we’d ever give you real ones?’

“So that’s why no one has seen her for a couple days!” you noted. She was nodding as she laughed. You could only imagine what it was like to see it in person. Poor Lav. You went back and forth talking about whatever went on since the last time you were together.

Hermione went on talking about a new book she read about over the winter holiday. The way she expressed her emotions and passion for it made you fall for the Gryffindor girl more. When you hadn't said anything, she stopped and lowered her head, “I’m boring you, aren't I?”

You sat straight in your chair and fumbled your words before reaching out to grab her hand from across the table, “No, no, no, of course not. I could never be bored of you, I love you.” Your eyes widened. You didn't exactly expect to let it slip out like that, but you studied her reaction to see if you could leave it at that or otherwise. She sat still with a poker face. “Y-you’re my best friend, Mione–”

“I love you, too,” she confessed. “Huh?” Please, please, please tell me I heard her right. You didn't get to fully process what she said because after a few seconds, she gathered all her courage and reached over the table to give you a quick peck on your lips. It would've been a sweet moment hadn't she accidentally knocked her glass over in the process. Everyone in the Three Broomsticks had their eyes on you, Hermione’s face beet red and lowered out of embarrassment. You tried cleaning the mess and out of nowhere, Hermione ran out. Fuck this you thought as you ran after her.

“Mione, wait!” She hadn't gone far and luckily for you, she listened. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes averted from yours. “Where are you going? Aren’t we on a date?” Confidence had finally kicked in when you asked her. Hermione’s breath hitched. She couldn't see anything in your face that showed you were joking. Because you weren't. “Yes,” she grabbed your hands and started walking towards the other shops in the small village. Until once again, she nearly fell back when she nearly slipped over another rock on the ground. You supported her back up and giggled, “You’re so clumsy.”

—

requests open!

#hermione granger #hermione granger imagine #requested #requests open #hermione granger fluff #hermione granger x reader #hermione granger x fem!reader #hermione granger x slytherin!reader #hermione granger x you #hermione granger x y/n #hermione imagine #hermione fluff #hermione x y/n #hermione x reader #hermione x you #hermione x fem!reader #hermione x slytherin!reader #harry potter imagine

[letarasstuff]

Fake Marriage

(A/N): It's me, finally writing again! This was requested by an anon, I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: Spencer's oldest daughter's boyfriend marries the younger one jokingly. But what happens, when they notice that she didn't get the joking part?

Warnings: Sad toddler (lmk if there is something else)

Wordcount: 1.1k

✨Masterlist✨ _________________________________

(Y/N)’s greatest role model is her older sister, Mireya. Even though they have a huge age gap of twelve years between them, they are inseparable. That’s why the four year old is pretty upset when the teenager is out with her boyfriend.

“Daddy, when will Mireya come home? I have to show her the picture I drew of her and me in kindergarten.” Spencer watches the toddler climbing onto the chair next to him, making sure she doesn’t fall off. Quickly he shuffles all the crime scene photos and reports into the case file he has to finish in order to get the day of Halloween off.

The father can only hope he was fast enough, ever since (Y/N) started reading on an advanced level no written word is safe from her, even though some meanings are too dark for her innocent soul.

“After dinner, when you are already asleep, Honey. Do you want to give it to her yourself tomorrow morning or should I do it?” The girl huffed at that answer. It takes everything in Spencer to stop himself from smiling. After all, her ‘mad’ face looks more like an angry puppy.

She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’ll do it tomorrow. It is so unfair, now that she has that stupid boy I don’t see her anymore. Can you make them break up, Daddy?”

Spencer smiles at her proposal. “You know, Honey, I’m also bummed out that Mireya is not home as much as she used to”, he starts to explain the situation to her, “But we have to accept that she is growing up. And you already met Joshua, he is really nice to your sister. You even told me that you liked him as her boyfriend.” The father picks her up from her seat and places the child into his own lap.

She cuddles into his chest. “Boys are still dumb.” Silently the father hopes that (Y/N) is going to keep that opinion for a few years longer. Or better forever.

It is a week now until Halloween and Mireya has Joshua over for dinner. “Sweetheart, do you know what you want to dress up as?” Spencer asks the toddler as he puts veggies onto her plate. (Y/N) looks a little weary of it before answering.

“I wanna be the same Reya will be!” She says excitedly. Every year since she was born, the sisters had matching costumes. One time the girl was dressed as a koala baby and the teenager was the matching koala mother. It’s kind of needless to say that (Y/N) sat the whole night on her back.

Mireya glances at her boyfriend. “Uhm, actually Joshua and I wanted to dress as an old married couple, you know. I didn’t really plan on us matching again”, she explains while biting her lip, afraid of her sister’s reaction.

(Y/N) visibly shrunks at that. “Oh, I-I uhm. OK.” Silence falls upon the table, everyone is a little unsure on how to approach the toddler. “Are you really married?” She asks suddenly.

Her sister chokes on the sip of water she just took while Joshua tries to not turn beet red. “I- We aren’t, Peanut. Why do you wanna know?” He answers. “Because I wanna marry someone too!” The toddler says with such confidence, it’s adorable.

Now it’s Spencer’s turn to choke on his food. “Uhm, I can marry you, if you want me to? But you have to finish your green veggies in return, they are good for you.” (Y/N) seems to debate with herself over the options before nodding and wolfing everything on her plate down.

The next day the toddler is only seen with a wide smile on her face. “Oh, what got Baby Wonder 2.0 so happy today?” Derek asks as soon as he spots her when Mireya walks in with her after school and kindergarten have ended.

“I am married!” She sings. Her sister looks a little uncomfortable at that. “Oh, and to who? You know, I have to meet them to know if they are good enough for you”, the agent teases back, while shooting a questioning look towards the older sister.

“You know him already, Uncle Derek. It’s Joshua!” Now the puzzle pieces fall for him together. “Oh. Cupcake, I think your Auntie Penny has a cookie jar with your name on it. Anderson, can you bring her down?” Happily the other agent takes the toddler’s hand, ready to skip next to her.

“So, Joshua just couldn’t decide between you two or what happened?” He asks the older Reid. Mireya sighs desperately. “No, it’s just that he is an only child and doesn’t know that kids can’t grasp the concept of jokes yet. Now he has to break up with her tonight. This will be a fun evening.”

They talk a bit of different strategies on how to tell (Y/N) the truth without hurting her feelings too bad until Spencer comes along, done with paperwork for the day. They decided to eat at the toddler’s favorite restaurant in order for her to get easily distracted.

But what really happens is the whole opposite.

“Uhm, (Y/N), do you remember how I told you yesterday we can get married, if you eat your veggies?” She nods at her sister’s boyfriend while munching contently on a fry. Spencer excused himself to the bathroom a few minutes prior.

“So uhm. We can’t do that. We can’t get married. But I’m so proud of you for eating your greens.” He smiles awkwardly, which turns quickly into a frown as tears begin to run down (Y/N)’s cheeks. Mireya sends him a death glare while pulling her onto her lap. “Shhh, I know. I know it’s not what you wanted. It hurts. But you have to accept it, Little One”, she tries to console her, to no avail.

Luckily their father finally steps back next to them and takes her over. It takes the whole night and nearly the next morning to calm her down.

“You know what?” Spencer asks her, as he drops her off at kindergarten. “I try to get off earlier today and then we look for matching outfits for Halloween. Just you and I, your sister and her boyfriend can do the old couple thing and we do our own theme. We can be Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, Ariel and Poseidon or” “Elsa and Olaf!” (Y/N) scream excitedly.

“Or Elsa and Olaf”, he murmurs defeatedly, even though the father is happy to do anything to see that smile on his daughter’s face again.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x daughter!reader #reader insert #spencer reid #x reader #x daughter!reader #x child!reader #spencer reid x child!reader