#and pretty sure they did much more than we will ever really know. but that's on them acting dumb in therapy. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anonymityisfunwriter · 1 day

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Every Part of You

Pairing - Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader A.N. - Alright, I've been asked to write about Bucky and Sunshine's first time many, many times. And the thing is, like sure, I could write that, but also I want us to take a moment to consider trying to build up to that. There's so many firsts buried in there that I think need to be navigated through before they even get there. This is one of those firsts. Like the first time you see Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Grumpy Sunshine Series

"You're just- " You stop speaking, searching for his lips again. Though you're breathless, you can't bring yourself to pull away from him, "You're so pretty."

You shudder as you feel his hand slip under your sweater. The occasional graze of the cool metal on your skin enough to send shivers down your spine.

His lips trail down, nipping at your jaw, "I'm not pretty."

Your hands, winded in the hair at the nape of his neck, glide down his neck, to clutch the fabric of his henley. The moment he feels your fingers toy with the collar of his shirt, his heart hammers against his ribcage. Not in the sort of way that he usually feels in these moments with you. He feels a sense of dread, of panic. It wraps around his spine like a python. It feels like he can't breathe.

"You're so -"

He wrenches away from you, his chest heaving, "Stop, stop, stop."

You freeze, immediately dropping your hands. Panic starts creeping up your throat, coating your words. "Did I - did I do something wrong?"

He gulps, silently shaking his head. It takes him a moment to regain his composure, to regain the ability to speak clearly, "No, no, you're - you're perfect."

Guilt starts to eat at him. He can see you doing your very best to keep your own feelings off your face. He can see the sting of his rejection in the way your lips press together in a tight line. The embarrassment in the pallor of your once flushed cheeks.

You two have worked so hard to overcome your own personal issues and traumas, to build trust in each other, moments like these hadn't come easy. And he so callously pushed you away, it makes him feel worse. And what makes his heart ache even more, he sees nothing but concern for him shining in your eyes. You just look so worried for him.

Your hands rest in your lap. You twist and untwist your fingers. "If you don't want to, we don't - we don't have to do anything. I'm really sorry -"

"No, no, please don't be sorry." He reaches for you, gently squeezing your hand. It soothes him as much as it does you. "I want to. You don't know how much I want to."

"But?"

His eyes squeeze shut. He can't bring himself to meet your eyes. "You haven't seen it before - my arm, my shoulder."

"Oh."

He drops your hand. That feeling takes over him again. It feels like there's not enough air in the room. He slides away from you, closer to the edge of the tiny couch in your apartment. "It's - I am not pretty."

It breaks your heart, watching him pull away from you. You can only imagine how many people have turned away from him before. "James..."

He fervently shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes, "No, no, I know what you're gonna say, but it's bad. A lot worse than you're thinking."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?"

"It's bad," he insists. "I see it every day and I can barely - it's just bad, okay?"

You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay if you don't want me to see it. I understand."

He finally opens his eyes again as his eyebrows pull together. He still doesn't meet your eye. "No, no, I want to - I trust you with this, I do. I just - I want you to be prepared."

In that moment, you realize that it's not really about preparing you. Not at all.

He thinks you're going to react badly. He thinks that this will make you turn away from him for the first time ever. He's worried that the love and adoration in your eyes will turn to disgust and repulsion.

It's less about preparing you for the scarred flesh, and more about warning you that he couldn't take a bad reaction. He's not sure he could take it if you turned away from him too.

"I love you," you promise him. "There's nothing that you could show me that would change that. I hope you know that."

There is no response to that. And you know that he won't believe it until he sees it. It takes him a moment. His hand toys with the hem of his shirt. His hand grips the hem, only to let it go.

"I love you," you remind him.

He takes a large gulp of air, pulling off his shirt with one quick movement.

You weren't really sure what you were expecting. You knew the story. You knew how Bucky lost his arm. He even confided the bits and pieces he remembered from getting his vibranium arm.

Your eyes trail over his skin. The shoulder is scarred, scars jut in every direction. Each scar is etched into his skin. It's clear it was a painful, violent experience for him. The metal plate protrudes from the scar tissue in a way that you're sure was painful when first placed. You look on with curiosity, you're not really sure how this, a sign of survival, a badge of resilience, could ever make anyone turn away from him.

He's as breathtaking as you could ever imagine.

Your eyes flicker up at him. He looks at the blank wall of your apartment, scared to watch your facial expressions as you take it in. "Can I?"

He nods, barely able to look you in the eyes. He sucks in a breath when your fingers make contact with the scar tissue surrounding the metal plate.

You immediately pull your fingers back, worried you've accidentally hurt him. "Does it hurt?"

"No," he answers reflexively.

You know he's lying. "I've seen you holding your shoulder before - holding it like it hurts."

"Sometimes," he amends. "The doctor said there's a lot of nerve damage. Things they can't fix."

"Does it hurt now?"

"No."

You run your hand over the plate, over his scars, down to his shoulder blade.

"Still think I'm pretty?" he sarcastically remarks.

You press a gentle kiss to his bare shoulder. "I'll always think you're pretty. Every part of you."

Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

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wrr000 · 2 days

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"Can you be quiet for five minutes?"

AN: hello! i wrote this for fun, it's nothing serious or special, i just needed to do something with myself. hope y'all will enjoy it anyway lol (also, i had that one scene from shrek 2 in mind)

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Summary: the night wasn't peaceful for the ghoul because reader talks too much

Warnings: english is not my first language; reader is female; it was supposed to be more of a comedic oneshot; a lot of inner thoughts

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

The night was getting cold. Chilly air mixed with the pleasant warmth emanating from the fire, touching your red cheeks. It was a nice feeling, especially after a whole day of walking in the brutal heat. The sun was killing you and the night was a nice change.

'I fucking hate wasteland', you thought to yourself every day.

Burning sun, disgusting monsters, crazy raiders or even that ghoul, literally everything could kill you any minute. It was hard to survive out there alone ans you knew that. Maybe that was a reason why you didn't ran away from him yet.

"So...", you couldn't stand the silnce anymore, "are you gonna finally untie me?"

You sat by the bonfire with your legs pressed to your chest, staring into the sparkling flames. Hands still tightly tied, of course. The other end of the lasso held the ghoul whom you met a few days ago.

He was sitting on the other side of the fire, leaning against a huge piece of something wooden. He looked like he was sleeping with a cowboy hat covering his face. The ghoul wasn't like anyone you've met before, but you weren't sure if it was a blessing or a curse. He did tied you up after all and have gave you no choice, but to travel with him to God-knows-where. On the positive side - he didn't killed you. And that was something unexpected.

"Hellooo..? Did you hear me, Mr. Ghoul?", you never called him like that before, but you wanted any interaction.

No response. Was he really sleeping or just pretending that he didn't hear you?

It was in his style, to be honest. Ever since you met him, he seemed cold, selfish, like he doesn't care about anything else in the world but him. Sometimes straight up annoying, sometimes kinda funny and nice in a twisted way. These mixed feelings made you somewhat intrigued.

"Listen lady" , he didn't looked at you. "I need some peace and quiet so no stupid questions or talkin', got it?"

"Oh, come on! We have been travelling for days! I'm not gonna do anything stupid", it was this time when he was just annoying as hell.

"I bet you won't, sweetheart", you knew he smirked under that stupid hat.

"So what, are you gonna keep me like this to what? Sell me for chems? Or eat me one day?", you spoke once again. "You know, both options are pretty problematic for you because, I mean, you are really planning to sell skinny, dehydrated girl and hoping for decent payment?", fake scoff escaped your mouth. "Keep dreaming. I am way more useful as a compa-"

By anything stupid you meant something like killing him or running away. First of all, he was very skilled and you knew that attacking him was suicidal mission. Second of all, you could try to escape, but you didn't know if it was even possible with this man and did you really wanted to?

On one hand, there were plenty ways for him to hurt you. Shooting, beating, selling, starving you to death or worse - eating you alive. It was something... common on the wasteland. People were doing everything to survive and as crazy as it sounded, you understood it, the ghoul knew it as well. But on the other hand, after raiders killed your parents, life became harder than before. You hated it and what you hated more was loneliness. You had none, no friend and no family left. Maybe it was delusional, but you hoped for befriending the ghoul and travel with him for a little longer. Or maybe he could help you made it to town where you could stay. In that situation you didn't have many options (it didn't work by force anyway) to consider or anything to lose, to be honest.

"Oh, for fu-", he straightened up, finally looking at you.

You didn't have many opportunities to meet him face to face and take a closer look. Beautiful eyes spoke more than thousand words, that's for sure. The most noticeable thing was the lack of a nose, but aside that the face was handsome. You could imagine how he looked like before the ghoulification. In fact, you always thought that people were exaggerating with their disgust towards non-feral ghouls. They were still humans, right?

"You asked me a milion questions already, while I couldn't ask you one", you heard the irritation in his voice. "You better don't cross the line"

That silence was overhelming. Sure, the sound of camfire was nice, but your thoughts were getting weirder and weirder. You needed something to occupy your mind and because you weren't the best at small talk (or starting a conversation at all) you came up with the stupidest idea.

Classic threating. You rised your tided hands, palms facing him in surrender. It wasn't the right time to ask about the future and you didn't wanna cross the line, at least not that night. He was looking at you for a moment, making sure you wouldn't ask anything else and returned to his previous position.

You stared at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking about and you couldn't read him. Not before, not now and probably not in the near future. He seemed like he could always read your mind while being completely unpredictable to you. What he thought about you? What was his plan? You should be very scared or just scared? Many questions were running in your head, but you couldn't find answer for none.

"What it's like to be a ghoul?", you mentally slapped yourself, but there was no turning back now. "I mean, how did you become a ghoul? It was quick or it was a long process? My parents never told me much about ghouls"

Deep, long sigh escaped his mouth. He looked at you again, not bothering to move his body. Even someone like him lacked words and strength for you.

"Did someone ever told that you talk so much?", a ghost of a smile crept across his face.

"Actually, yes, my father told me that once", you smiled proudly.

"No lesson learned", you quite enjoyed his harsh voice with strange accent. He definitely didn't talk enough. "Can you be quiet for five minutes?"

"Hm, I'm afriad no, Mister", then it striked you. "I don't know your name! I won't shut up until you will told me your name. Wait, you do have a name, right?"

"Yes", you felt annoyed again by his lack of cooperation.

"Well..? You know my name, even you don't use it, may I know yours?"

"Cooper", the ghoul hide his face under the hat again. "Now, let me rest for a while, will ya?"

Bright smile appeared on your face. That was what you called a progress. It was genuinely a cool name and suddenly you started to wonder if he liked yours.

"But...", you heard a growl from under the hat, "we will talk about what to do next? I know how things works out here, but... We don't have to be enemies. I know you want to survive and I don't wanna be your prisoner forever"

You were on thin ice and for the first (and not last) time in your life you couldn't gather your thoughts. You wanted to tell him a lot of things in one go.

"I'm not your enemy, sweetheart, you don't have to worry. Now sleep or I'll have to shoot that pretty face"

You noded quietly. You knew that tomorrow you would try to talk to him again, still hoping for some sort of cooperation or agreement. Your life was on the line, after all. Not to mention that he called you pretty and even another threat couldn't take it away from you. Maybe that was the sign that he doesn't mean no harm to you, there was a hope, at least.

#fallout #fallout tv show #fallout series #fallout x reader #the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard #fallout the ghoul #fallout cooper howard

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pineapplecrushface · 2 days

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WIP Tuesday

Something about Buck and Eddie hugging for the first time in like four years made me think about how affectionate Buck is and then this happened.

“Does it feel weird to you?” Eddie asked when Buck had returned with more beer. “Not weird. Different, I mean.”

“What, being with a guy?” Buck tipped his head back and forth in a so-so gesture when Eddie nodded. “Sometimes. I keep catching myself feeling like I’m not supposed to like something, and I have to train myself to stop.”

“Like what?” Eddie asked before he thought it through. He held up a hand. “No intimate details.”

Buck laughed, his entire face going pink. He ducked his head and took a sip of beer. “Well, that is part of it. But no, it’s more like…he, uh, he calls me baby. And he holds me. I don’t think anyone’s ever done that, because I’m bigger, right? And the women I’ve dated, they liked that I was bigger and stronger than they were. And I’m discovering I kinda like that too. But.”

“But it feels like you’re not supposed to like it,” Eddie said.

“Yeah. So there’s a lot of arguing with my own stupid hang-ups.” Buck sighed. “I really didn’t think I had that many. Not about masculinity or whatever.”

Eddie hummed, not quite in agreement, thoughtful. Would he feel weird about it if a guy held him? Probably a little. He wasn’t very physically affectionate at the best of times, although he found it easier after he’d been dating someone a while. Really, he’d only ever been perfectly comfortable touching a few people. Chris, of course, after the awkwardness of figuring out how to hold a baby. Shannon, when they weren’t fighting.

And Buck. He was very comfortable touching Buck, so there was at least one guy he wouldn’t feel totally weird about being held by. For a moment he imagined the two of them wrapped around each other and it warmed him so much he smiled down at his beer—he could almost feel it, Buck throwing his whole body into it and tucking his face into Eddie’s neck like he did when they hugged. But it would be longer than a hug, and they’d relax into it, breathe each other in. Breathe easier, probably, because they wouldn’t have to pull away. Buck would mumble Ten minutes until we have to pick up Christopher, and Eddie would rub his cheek on Buck’s neck and say You can fall asleep if you want to, baby, I’ll wake you up—

He just barely managed not to twitch so hard he spilled his beer.

“You okay?” Buck asked, leaning forward on his elbow and licking beer from his lips. “You were zoned out pretty hard.”

“No, it’s,” he said, looking around and patting himself down to feel for his phone, wallet, keys. “Uh. I just realized I have to go pick up some stuff for Marisol. A project. She has a project she’s working on and I forgot.”

It wasn’t a complete lie; Marisol did have a list of things she’d asked him to pick up at the hardware store, but she wasn’t starting until Saturday. Buck gave him a skeptical look like he knew her renovation schedule better than Eddie did—and knowing Buck, he probably did—but only nodded.

“See you later,” Eddie said, throwing him a distracted wave and fleeing—actually jogging, running away from his best friend, until he was in his truck and panting and shaking his head because he did not run.

Hmm. You kinda do though, he thought, and it was Buck’s voice, and he was right. He ran and would continue to run because this, this wasn’t a thing he needed or wanted. Right? Right.

But he couldn’t help but poke at it one more time to make sure.

Buck. Buck’s big body around him, his big warm hands sliding down Eddie’s back, Buck laughing against his lips, giving him every bit of his endless reservoir of affection and love. Buck loving him.

Eddie scrunched up his face and clenched his hands in the air before he smacked the steering wheel. Shit. Shit.

“Okay, it’s fine,” he said, smoothing his hands over the steering wheel like it was mad at him. Everything was fine. He didn’t have to think about it. He was in control of his own emotions. He was not a guy who was in love with his best friend. He was a guy who could compartmentalize and ignore uncomfortable things until they went away.

And eventually blew up in his face. But that was for future Eddie to handle. He had Frank and several excellent coping strategies and Muay Thai with his best friend's boyfriend who got to touch him all the time. It was fine. He was fine.

#911 #fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie

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writingforstraykids · 2 days

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hiya! i'm still pretty new to your blog but i really like your writing! english isn't my first language but i hope my request is still understandable ^^

m!reader (with they/them pronouns if possible 👉🏻👈🏻) is best friends with chan. chan praises the reader in some way and figures out that they have a praise kink so he just keeps praising them to make them flustered all the time (bonus points if he throws in the classic 'good boy')

oh and i wanted to ask if i could maybe be 🦖 anon?

thank you!

It's always been you

Pairing: Chan x m!reader with they/them pronouns (mention of Minsung)

Word Count: 4301

Summary: Chan and you have been best friends for what feels like forever. You long for more, not knowing that Chan feels the same. Minho and Jisung decide to lend you a hand the way Chan and you did for them.

Warnings/Tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, smut, teasing, praise kink, dry humping

A/N: I know we've talked a while ago about this request but I hope I did your wishes for it justice, my dear🖤

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

You hum gently to yourself as you make your way back home, scrolling through your phone as you try to find a good song. A smile covers your lips as your best friend's voice rings through your ears and you can't help the warm feeling spreading through you. Chan invited you over for a movie night with the boys, and you couldn't wait to spend time with them…or him. Being around Chan made you feel things you never felt for anyone else ever before. Those soft brown eyes, beautiful smile, and warm hugs made you feel so loved. You know there's no chance he would ever love you back, but that didn't stop you from gazing after him.

You reach their dorm, and Minho lets you in, pulling you into a short hug. “Hey, Min.”

“Hey,” he smiles and closes the door behind you. “Channie hyung will be there in a bit. He went out to grab some snacks with Ji,” he explains and pats your back, leading you inside.

“Oh, okay,” you nod and glance around the living room, where they've already set everything up. “Can I still help with anything?”

“Nah, you're fine,” he tells you and gently shoves you toward the sofa. “Relax, okay? We got it.”

“Fuck, Ji, it's getting worse every time they're there,” Chan sighs and grabs some of your favorite cookies.

“Worse?” Jisung frowns, and Chan nods weakly.

“Yeah, they're so funny and adorable and so pretty,” he says and glances at his friend nervously. “I really want to be more than just friends.”

Jisung squints his eyes at him suspiciously. “Just sex or more?” he asks quietly.

“Not just sex,” Chan shakes his head and awkwardly scratches his neck. “I wanna be there for them, make sure they're safe and loved.”

“Why don't you tell them?” he asks curiously.

“I'm scared of ruining our friendship,” he admits.

“You will, one way or the other, won't you?” he asks gently. “You'll regret it if you don't tell them, believe me. I could've saved myself a lot of pain if I told Minho hyung a lot earlier.”

“Yeah, but…I told you Minho loves you. You had some clarity after that,” he sighs softly.

“I can ask Y/nnie,” he shrugs, and Chan's eyes widen fearfully. “Then I'll tell you, and you can decide what to do with that information.”

“Yeah, okay,” he gives in after a moment.

You look up as they return from the store and smile softly, spotting Chan and giving him a small wave. Chan smiles back, walks past you, and gently pats your head. “Hey, bestie.”

“Hey,” you smile gently, swallowing at the word that once brought you so much comfort but now is a simple reminder of what you didn't have.

You see Minho greeting Jisung, pulling him into a hug, and gently rubbing his back. He asks him something you can't quite hear, but his eyes are so soft, his voice gentle, it makes your heartache. Minho giggles at Jisung’s answer and cups his face, kissing his forehead. You quickly look away, biting your lower lip. You still remember how happy you were when they got together, but over time it got hard to watch, wishing for something like this with Chan. “Y/nnie, can I talk to you for a second?” Jisung asks as he pulls back. “I need help with something.”

“You're okay?” Minho asks worriedly.

“I'm okay,” he assures him softly and squeezes his hand. “Come on,” he waves you over. You get up, not noticing Chan's anxious glance as you leave the room.

Minho glances at him suspiciously. “Oh…that?”

“Mhm,” Chan nods nervously and Minho flashes him an encouraging smile.

“How could they not love you, huh?” he chuckles compassionately. “Relax, hyungie.”

Only a little later, you're back in the living room, trying not to look all too confused. There isn't much space left on the sofa, and Chan pulls you into his lap naturally. You sink back into him and bite your lower lip nervously. Why the hell did Jisung ask if you're in love? With Chan? Was it that obvious?

You can barely focus on the movie playing and want nothing more but to leave and think this all through. It's over sooner than you thought, and you're all sitting in a circle on the carpet now.

“Truth or dare anyone?” Seungmin asks, and you curse yourself quietly. Of course.

“Not for me, I should get -” you start and see Chan's smile fading.

“You're leaving already?” he asks worriedly, and you nod quickly.

“Oh, come on, Y/nnie,” Jeongin pouts at you.

“You can't leave already,” Changing protests and places the cards into your circle.

“Fine,” you give in weakly and sit down next to Chan, who lifts you into his lap rather quickly again. His arms wrap around your waist, and his chin rests on your shoulder. “Clingy,” you comment fondly.

“Fuck off,” Chan gives back just as fondly.

The game goes on, and luckily, you're getting easy tasks and questions that don't make you uncomfortable. Jisung is sleeping in Minho's lap by now as the latter plays with his hair, and Felix's head is resting on his shoulder. Seungmin and Innie keep on teasing each other, hoping for the most stupid questions for each other. Changbin is still reading the questions, and Hyunjin giggles every time he shows him beforehand. You're still comfortable in Chan's lap and giggle as Seungmin spins the bottle, and it points at the two of you.

“That's pretty in the middle,” Changbin states and frowns softly.

“I can go; I'll take truth,” Chan volunteers. Changbin glances down at the question before grinning.

“Do you have a crush? If so, who?” he reads out loud, and Chan stiffens beneath you.

“I do,” he nods, and your throat dries.

“Who?” Hyunjin asks, pointing out the second part of the question.

“Someone I know really well,” Chan says, and your heart drops. That could be everyone in this room, and looking at the others, you know it can't be you. There's no chance. You push yourself from his lap before you fully comprehend your thoughts, excusing yourself for the bathroom. Chan glances after you worriedly as you bump into the table on the way out and exchanges a worried look with Minho.

“I got it,” Minho nods and gently plants a sleeping Jisung into Felix's lap. “You go on,” he tells the rest before making his way upstairs to the bathroom. Minho gently knocks at the door and fondly rolls his eyes as you don't answer. “Y/nnie, let me in,” he says and waits for another moment. “I'll go get Chan if you don't.” You quickly open the door and pull him inside, locking the door again. “Cozy,” he comments teasingly.

“Why are you even here?” you sigh softly and sit down heavily at the edge of the bathtub.

“Shouldn't I ask you that? This can't be more comfortable than Chan hyung’s lap,” he says and sits down next to you, shaking his head. “Definitely not.”

“Mhm, you should know, right?” you ask sarcastically, and Minho grins.

“Oh, I do…I've seen…or felt…everything you dream about,” he chuckles and gently pats your thigh. “I'm with Ji. What's stopping you now, huh?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” you shake your head and sigh heavily. “There's no way on earth Chan would love me and - oh fuck, I sound just like you,” you groan.

“You do,” he giggles. “And I remember you telling me to get myself together and finally realize how handsome I am.”

“Well, you are, you dumbass,” you roll your eyes at him. “That doesn't exactly apply to me.”

“I think…I know Chan thinks very differently about that,” he says and is quiet for a moment. “So do I, dumbass,” he says and gently smacks the back of your head.

Minho's words hit you like a wave, washing away the stubborn layers of doubt that had clung to you all evening. Despite the sting of his playful smack, there's an undeniable warmth in his words, an affirmation that maybe, just maybe, Chan might feel the same way about you.

"But, Min," you start, your voice trembling slightly from the mix of hope and uncertainty, "What if you're wrong? What if he doesn't... What if it's not me he's talking about?"

Minho raises an eyebrow and gives you a look that screams exasperation mixed with fondness. "Y/nnie, when have I ever steered you wrong? Listen, Chan's not as good at hiding his feelings as he thinks. The way he looks at you? I've seen it. It's more than just friendship. This isn’t my talk to have, though, you know?"

You're about to respond, but there's a knock on the bathroom door that makes you both flinch. "It's me," a voice says, one that sends butterflies rampaging through your stomach. Chan.

Minho winks at you and stands up. He walks past Chan with a knowing look as he exits the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. You're frozen in place, your heart pounding so loudly you're sure Chan can hear it.

Chan steps inside, closes the door behind him, and leans against it. His eyes search yours, filled with a nervous energy that matches your own. "Y/nnie, are you okay? I noticed you left suddenly..."

Taking a deep breath, you nod slowly, trying to muster the courage that Minho seemed to think you had in abundance. "I'm okay, Chan. Just... a lot on my mind, I guess."

Chan moves closer, his concern evident. "Anything you want to talk about? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

The sincerity in his voice nearly breaks you. With a shaky exhale, you decide it's now or never. "Chan, I... I need to ask you something. Earlier, when you said you have a crush... was that-"

Chan's face changes then, but before you can interpret it, he lets out a breath he seems to have been holding. "Yes, it's you. It's always been you, Y/nnie. I was just too scared to say anything because I didn't want to ruin what we had."

The words you had feared and hoped to hear tumble into the small space between you, and for a moment, the world stops. Tears prick your eyes, not from sadness but from an overwhelming relief that floods through you.

"Chan, I... I feel the same," you confess, the weight of your unspoken feelings lifting off your shoulders. "I was so afraid you'd never see me that way."

Chan steps forward, closing the distance between you in an instant. His hands cup your face gently, and he smiles - a real, soft smile that you've dreamed of being meant for you. "How could I not? You're amazing, Y/nnie. I've just been an idiot about it."

And then he kisses you, a soft, sweet kiss that promises more. As you melt into him, the fears and doubts of the past fade away, replaced by the excitement of what comes next.

Outside the bathroom, the sounds of the ongoing game and the laughter of your friends continue, a reminder of the world waiting for you both. But for now, in this small, shared space, nothing matters more than the two of you finally bridging the gap between friendship and something much deeper.

When you finally pull away, Chan's grin is as bright as the stars you imagine are shining outside. "Come on," he says, taking your hand. "Let's go back.”

The two of you sit down again, and you lean back against him comfortably. Your eyes meet Minho’s, and you can’t help but beam at him. Minho smiles gently and winks at you, focusing back on the game. Chan gently intertwines your hands in front of your stomach and rests his head on your shoulder. “Tired?” you ask him quietly enough for only him to hear.

“Starting to be, yeah,” he hums quietly. “You wanna stay tonight?” he asks so sweetly there was no chance you’d deny him.

“I would love to,” you nod.

The evening goes on, but the atmosphere around you is subtly different now. The other guys seem to pick up on the shift; quick, knowing glances are exchanged, and an occasional smirk is poorly disguised as a cough. As the evening slowly comes to a stop, the games gradually transform into yawns and stretching limbs. One by one, the room starts to empty as everyone heads to their room. Changbin claps Chan on the back as he passes by, whispering something that makes Chan chuckle and squeeze your hand tighter.

Once the room is empty, Chan shifts slightly, turning to face you. "So, what do you want to do?" he asks, his voice low and warm. "We could start another movie, just the two of us, or maybe just talk?"

"The talking sounds nice," you reply, smiling at him

Chan nods in agreement and stands, leading you to his room. You’ve been here so often before, but you never fail to feel at home here. He shuts the door behind you and sits on the edge of the bed, patting the space next to him.

You join him, feeling a blend of excitement and nervousness. "I'm really glad you're here," Chan begins, turning to you with a beautiful smile that makes your heart flutter. "I've wanted to talk like this for so long but didn't know how to start."

"Me too," you admit. "I always wondered what this would be like, talking to you like this, knowing we both feel the same way."

Chan reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "I've been so scared of messing things up," he confesses. "I didn't want to lose you by taking a step that might have been too much, too soon."

You nod, understanding his fears because they mirror your own. "But we didn't mess it up, did we? We're here now, and it feels right."

"It does," he agrees, his eyes lighting up with a mixture of relief and happiness. "It feels perfect."

"What do you think will happen with us?" you ask a small part of you needing reassurance that tonight's magic will extend beyond dawn.

Chan squeezes your hand, his gaze steady. "I think we're going to be great," he says. "We already know each other so well, and we care about each other. We just have to keep doing what we're doing."

"I love that," you whisper, leaning your head against his shoulder.

"I love you," Chan says softly, the words spoken so naturally, echoing through the quiet room.

"I love you too, Channie," you respond, turning to face him. Your eyes meet his in a look that feels like a promise. He smiles sweetly, dimples showing, and gives you another quick kiss.

Chan stands up and offers you a shirt to sleep in, his shy smile making you laugh. You change and slide under the covers beside him, his arm coming around to hold you close.

The comfort of his embrace and the steady beat of his heart soon draw you into slumber, the challenges of the day fading into the peace of the night.

Two weeks later

You’re at the kitchen table with Minho, whispering the details of Chan’s and your first kiss and talk to him. You haven’t really had time to before with Minho gone for a few days. Minho listens curiously, nodding along, and you can tell he’s happy for you. The rest slowly join you for breakfast, and then Chan comes back from his shower after his gym session. His curls are still damp, a bright smile covering his face as he sees you. He passes you, gently squeezing your shoulder. “Morning, pretty,” he says softly, and you can’t help but feel flustered. A quick kiss to your temple follows, and he’s gone again already, getting himself something to drink.

Minho notices the blush settling on your cheeks and giggles. “That easily?” he asks, amused.

You gently shove his shoulder. “Shut up,” you mutter. “I’m not used to it.”

“Mhm,” he hums, still giggling softly.

It gets worse as Chan slips into the chair next to you, flashing you a bright smile and casually resting his hand on your thigh. “You slept well, beautiful?” he asks, not noticing the blush on your cheeks deepening.

What the hell? Why were his simple words causing such warmth to spread through your body? Why are you blushing so hard after a few kind words? His eyes meet yours, and your stomach tightens at the love in them. Fuck.

“Yeah, did you?” you ask shyly.

“Of course, you’ve always been amazing at cuddling,” he compliments you, and you subconsciously shift in your chair.

You manage a small smile in response to Chan’s gaze, the affection evident in his eyes almost too much to process so early in the morning. He chuckles softly, his hand squeezing your thigh reassuringly, a simple gesture that somehow speeds up your fluttering heart.

“Sorry,” he whispers, leaning in so that only you can hear, “I didn’t mean to make you blush this much.” His voice is a blend of amusement and tenderness, sending a shiver down your spine. You can't help but feel a little overwhelmed by how natural it all seems to him, this newfound closeness between you.

“It’s okay,” you assure him.

“Are you sure, pretty boy?” he asks and your lips part softly, eyes widening a little.

“Channie,” you whisper softly, shaking your head. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” he asks, a knowing smirk lacing his features. “I’m just saying what I see.”

Your teeth bury into your lower lip as you feel the earlier shyness shift into something much stronger. Chan was getting you all worked up over nothing, and you’re not even done with breakfast yet.

“Give them a break,” Minho leans over suddenly, rolling his eyes playfully at Chan. “You’re getting them all worked up at the breakfast table; behave,” he says quietly enough only for the pair of you to hear.

Chan’s eyes widen, lips parting in a silent ‘oh’ as he picks up on the effect his words have on you. He leans closer to you, his breath tickling your neck. “Didn’t know you had a thing for praise.”

“Me neither, now shut up,” you plead softly, shifting in your seat and pulling at your shirt to cover your lap. Chan’s low chuckle sends shivers down your spine, and you flinch as his hand moves up your thigh. You gaze at him nervously, but Chan doesn’t even glance in your direction, talking to Seungmin opposite him. By now, you can’t get up to escape the possibility of getting caught because you’re slowly growing hard.

Your breath hitches as you try to focus on anything but the warmth of Chan's hand, your body reacting despite the semi-public setting. It's a thrilling yet terrifying mix of emotions, the fear of being noticed wrestling with the pleasure of Chan's subtle touches.

"Hey, you okay?" Seungmin's voice cuts through your haze, and you snap your attention back to him, nodding quickly, too quickly.

"Yeah, just... thought I saw something outside," you stammer, hoping your voice doesn't betray the flush of heat crawling up your neck. Chan smirks slightly, his fingers pausing as if he's aware of your struggle to stay composed.

The rest of the breakfast passes with a sort of hushed intensity, your mind whirling with Chan's teasing and the palpable connection that seems to have everyone subtly glancing your way every so often. You're grateful when the meal finally ends, and there’s an opportunity to escape the intensity of the kitchen.

Chan stands and stretches, his shirt lifting slightly to reveal a sliver of his abdomen. You have to force your gaze away, feeling the heat in your cheeks intensify. "Wanna go upstairs?" he asks, his voice low, meant only for your ears. You pull at the hem of your shirt, nodding shyly and biting your lower lip in anticipation. Chan giggles and pulls you into a tight hug, whispering to you as some of the boys are still here. “Didn’t know you’d be able to hide it so well,” he tells you, hand running down your back. “Think you deserved yourself a reward, pretty boy?”

“Please,” you whisper, burying your flushed face in his shoulder.

“If you’re good and keep quiet, I’ll help you out,” he whispers, and you tense in his arms, biting your lower lip hard.

Your body reacts with a shiver at the promise in his words, the idea alone enough to draw a deep, yearning ache from within you. You nod against his shoulder, unable to speak, your heart pounding fiercely in your chest.

Chan leads you quietly upstairs, his hand gripping yours with a reassuring firmness. You pass a couple of the guys lounging in the living area, completely oblivious to the charged atmosphere between you two. Once inside his room, Chan locks the door with a soft click, the sound echoing slightly in the stillness.

"Sit down," he directs gently, pointing to the edge of his bed. You obey, watching him with wide eyes as he kneels down in front of you. His hands rest on your knees, his touch light but sending waves of anticipation through your body.

"How quiet do you think you can be?" Chan asks, his voice low and teasing, his breath warm against your skin as he leans closer.

"I'll be quiet," you promise, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the effort of keeping your composure.

Chan smiles, that knowing, mischievous grin that always sets your heart racing. He slowly moves his hands up your thighs, his fingers brushing the fabric of your sweatpants tantalizingly slow. The touch is light, almost teasing, but it’s enough to make you gasp softly.

"Shh," he hushes, his lips brushing against your ear, sending another shiver down your spine. "Remember, you need to be quiet."

You nod, biting your lip hard to stifle any further sounds. Chan’s hands continue their exploration, now slipping under your shirt to trace the lines of your stomach up towards your chest. His touch is feather-light, yet every nerve in your body screams for more contact, more pressure.

Without warning, he presses down more firmly, his palm flat against your chest as he pushes you gently back onto the bed. You go willingly, your body already on fire from his touch, your breathing heavy but controlled as you try to keep your promise.

Chan climbs onto the bed, straddling one of your thighs as he leans over you, his face just inches from yours. “Still doing okay?” he asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

“More than okay,” you breathe out, the proximity of his body making it hard to think about anything but the feel of him against you.

Grinning, Chan shifts his weight, and you feel the firm pressure of his thigh between yours, exactly where you need him. He watches your face closely as he begins to rock gently, the friction sending sparks of pleasure coursing through you. Your hands find his hips, gripping him, guiding him into a rhythm that has you biting down on your lip to keep silent.

The room is filled with the soft sound of fabric moving against fabric and Chan's steady, controlled breathing. You keep your eyes locked on him, getting lost in the intensity of his gaze as he moves against you. Each motion is deliberate, calculated to drive you closer to the edge without tipping you over too soon.

Chan’s hands are on your hips now, his fingers pressing into your skin, his grip firm and possessive. He leans down to kiss you, slow and deep, his lips moving against yours in a dance that mirrors the movement of your bodies. You respond eagerly, the kiss muffled enough to keep your moans contained.

As the pressure builds, Chan’s movements become more urgent, his body pressing harder against yours. You feel a warmth spreading through you, a tingling sensation that starts deep within and radiates outwards. Your grip on him tightens, and Chan breaks the kiss to look at you, his eyes intense.

“Shit, Channie,” you whisper, almost feeling dizzy at the intensity of finally being this close to Chan.

“Shh, be a good boy, yeah?” he asks softly, biting back a moan himself as he rocks his hips.

“Close,” you manage to whisper, and he nods, his movements becoming even more focused. You arch into him, your mouth opening in a silent cry of release as waves of pleasure wash over you. Chan holds you through it, his body a steady presence as you tremble beneath him. Chan buries his face in your chest with a soft, punched-out sound as his body shivers, stumbling over the edge.

When you finally relax back onto the bed, Chan’s face is flushed with his own exertion, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. He kisses you softly, tenderly, a stark contrast to the urgency of moments before.

“Was that quiet enough for you?” you ask, a playful note in your voice despite your exhaustion.

“Perfect,” Chan confirms with a chuckle, his forehead resting against yours. “Absolutely perfect.” You both lie there for a moment, catching your breath, the only sound in the room now the quiet hum of the house around you. Then, with a gentle nudge, Chan encourages you to sit up. “Come on,” he says, his voice gentle. “Let’s clean up a bit, then we can go back down. They’ll wonder where we’ve vanished to.”

“Yeah, okay,” you giggle softly, smiling into the loving kiss he gives you before slipping out of bed. Yeah, you could get used to this and so much more.

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist (Please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist):

@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @michelle4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @silentreadersthings @myforevermelody143

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karenandhenwillson · 3 days

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I've seen so much discourse about Bucktommy and especially Tommy and it is so wild. I just want to write down some of my thoughts over all of it because that tends to help me to stop thinking about it.

"Oh, how can anyone just abandon Buddie for Bucktommy?"

Has anyone really abandoned Buddie, though? Or are they just for the moment very excited about a new and so very carefully portrait queer story line? Just because some people talk more (or for the moment only) about Bucktommy, doesn't mean they don't like Buddie anymore. They just have something shiny and most importantly canon to fawn over for the moment.

Also, I'd like to give that question back: Why aren't you all excited for a carefully and softly portrait new queer storyline about a character a huge part of the fandom—including the actor himself—hoped for years would get a queer story line?

And it's a pretty unique queer story. Of course, we had Michael figuring out his sexualtiy and growing comfortable in it right at the beginning of the series. But there are some huge differences between Michael's story and Buck's story.

For one, we ended up in the middle of that story. Michael had already done a huge part of the work of getting to know himself. He was ready to live as a gay man. And second, nothing of what we saw until season 3 was from Michael's point of view. It was all from Athena's point of view.

So it was a "coming-out late in life" story line, sure. But it was a queer storyline from a straight perspective. And in some instances, from a very hurt perspective about it all (which are, of course, very valid emotions for Athena, May, and Harry, but it still gave the queer side of the story line a certain taint). And they did that beautifully, too, no doubt. I especially liked that the family didn't break over it, that they grew with that experience, and that Michael and Athena became great friends over the years.

But now we also have a "coming-out late in life" story line from the queer perspective! 9-1-1 is pretty much the only series I'm following right now, so I have no idea if we had something similar recently. But from all the talk I've seen, it's pretty damn unique, especially for a male bi character. So, of course a lot of people are super excited about it. Because it's honest and good representation that the writers and the actors are handling with a lot of care.

"Oh, if it were a female love interest, you'd all hate her again!"

First of all, go back read that paragraph about many people being excited about getting a queer story line again! I think that's about 40% of the answer for everyone wondering about it.

And then, of course, Tommy has now already more depth and character and background than we ever saw about Ali or Natalia. And despite some people claiming he didn't have any kind of redemption arc, he truly had a lot more of a redemption arc than Taylor ever got even if only glimpses of it were ever shown on screen. (Maybe I'll get into my thoughts about that in another post.) Not gonna talk about Abby, because I think most of the dislike for her came long after that relationship was over after she ghosted Buck (and after Eddie had shown up).

One huge difference between every love interest of Buck or Eddie we have seen in the past to Tommy is also, that Tommy gets along really well with Eddie. We've already seen a friendship develop there. That never happened with any of the women either Eddie or Buck dated before. We saw that one dinner Buck and Taylor had with Eddie and Chris, but it was very clear it was the first time, and that was over half a year into Buck and Taylor dating, probably more like nine months.

If you wear slash googles around Buck and Eddie or not, their deep friendship is undeniable. It's very much canon that they both have a hand in raising Chris. Any love interest coming in has to deal with that, and has to somehow fit into that friendship. Tommy is the very first love interest in canon we have ever been shown to have that potential at all.

I'm personally part of the fandom that thinks that Buck and Eddie have great potential in a romantic way, BUT that they are first and foremost soulmates, no matter if platonic or romantic. And at least the Bucktommy fics I've read so far have all acknowledge the friendship of buck and Eddie and Chris' role in Buck's life. With Tommy being very accepting and supportive of it. (Though, I admit I’m very careful in my selection process.)

"Oh, Bucktommy is only a steppingstone for Buddie anyway! Don't get so invested in it!"

Who are you tell anyone what they should get invested in? I also think, with the excitement right now, even if Bucktommy break up, the ship itself will live on in fandom.

And also, didn't any of you learn out of the cheating story line they settled Hen and Karen with?

There is barely any content for Henren*. And I've been looking! Most stories they are tagged in don't really focus on their relationship. And those who do focus on their relationship get barely any attention. And you know why that is? Because a lot of people can't or don't want to deal with the cheating. (I deal with it by trying to ignore it or seeking out content where it's fixed!) Do you all really want to have a second queer story line that centers around cheating?

And even if none of you care for Henren (which... I know many don't *shrugs sadly*), have you all already forgotten the real pain over Buck kissing Lucy and then not fessing up to Taylor about it right away? (Once again, I deal by either ignoring it or seeking out content that fixes that bullshit.)

I'm honestly pretty disgusted by all the speculation about 7x06 that has anything to do with Buck and Eddie cheating on Tommy and Marisol during the bachelor party. And even more so about all the fics one can find about that, or that use Tommy as a device for Buck and Eddie realizing they are in love. (Honestly, even filtering out the other relationship tag while looking for stories in one relationship tag doesn't prevent one from stumbling over those stories right now, no matter if one is currently looking for Buck/Tommy or Buck/Eddie stories. It's so fucking annoying. I've turned to only reading old Buddie fics for the moment.)

Aside from the whole cheating of it all, why do any of you think the next episode will focus on anyone else but Maddie and Chim?

"Bucktommy is so racist! But really, no surprise in this fandom!"

What's no surprise is that "racist" is once more used as a buzzword in this fandom. To the point that BiPOC fans of Bucktommy are being told they are racist for the ship they like. (Nothing new about that in this fandom either.) Honestly, half the arguments about why the ship is oh so racist either make my head hurt while I try to follow the many, many, many mental loops people are making to get there, or they just make me laugh outright.

Do some of you really believe it when you say "Buck got together with a White man instead of his Latino best friend, so of course that's racist!"??? I'm just... Are you okay? Do you maybe need something warm to drink, a snack, and a nice place somewhere in the sun far away from the internet to just enjoy nature for a little while?

As I said, I'll probably make another post about Tommy's redemption arc over the whole "He is an unrepentant racist and misogynist". That redemption arc exists and has been baked in since season 2 (even if some of people clearly lack the media literacy to see it). Though, other people already put together great meta posts about this. But maybe if there are enough of it, some people will for once acutally read and start to think instead of continuing to spew their hate.

*PS: If anyone has good Henren contant, especially fanfiction, feel free to drop me a DM. I'm always looking!

#911 abc #tommy kinard #even buckley #bucktommy #hen wilson #karen wilson #henren

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yasmeensh · 13 hours

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Book rant? Anthropology, apes, and racism discussion.

I started reading a book titled "Bonobo Handshake" by Vanessa Woods. I picked it up because a) I want to learn more about bonobos since my knowledge of them is minimal. b) the author had interacted with bonobos in person so it's an interesting perspective to read. c) the book had positive reviews.

I was not expecting the author to start off telling us about the 'discovery' of bonobos in this way.

W-what do you mean, in Belgium? The author makes it clear that bonobos live in Congo and she gives us a few examples of local bonobo lore. Meaning, people in Congo know the bonobos very well. Way to go to give a colonizer the credit??? wtf. In this perspective, she is letting us know THAT was the moment when Bonobos entered western science, which is true. But I was really hoping the author would give it a more holistic view than this, but it seems she really believes in this??? And let me tell you, from what I am picking up between the lines, she ONLY accepts western science. Here is an example:

This is the page that confuses me immensely. I don't know if she is trying to come off as sarcastic or not. She sets out for us that Takayoshi Kano is the star of Bonobo research, but in the next paragraph says there is no one studying Bonobos. "there was never a Jane Goodall or Dian Fossey for bonobos." UHM NO? YOU JUST SAID THERE WAS???

[highlighting and writing over a picture of the page (32) since it's a library book and I can't write on it.]

She says Japanese researchers are responsible for all we know on Bonobos, but then starts talking about de Waal's zoo discoveries in detail, and they seem pretty minor compared to Kano's work with wild bonobos. She did point out that scientists don't take de waal's observations seriously because it's from a zoo, but she doesn't remedy that by telling us if it can be supported by Kano's work or not when compared. Kano is ignored. He does have one book available in English, so it's not like we can't ever learn about what he observed. you said western mainstream media don't want to listen to a man who only spoke Japanese??? UHM. You are too??? Why did you jump to de waal? If it's a book about bonobos, then please give Kano a little spotlight and tell about his research. (I actually want to read Kano's book now but I can't find a borrowable copy of it. It's a complicated long loop to get one. But it's possible T-T!!!!)

I very much dislike her tone in 'oh it's the Japanese that tell us about bonobo'. It is as if no one is actually researching them at all. They are 'foreign' so it doesn't count. Meanwhile, if it's a white person's discovery, it is humanity's. But if it's someone else theeennnn well we are not sure if it's actually real :/ Not until a white person observes this can we really put this into humanity's archive of knowledge. Otherwise, whatever they learnt is not very important or worth talking about.

I'm not gonna drop the book, because it does get me thinking about stuff and that's what I read books for. I guess it reminds me of University days, of how irritated I get when we are assigned a problematic reading to pick apart and present to class. I hope I'm not picking this apart too much 😭 I'm not sure if I'm enraged and reading too much into it. I might be totally wrong. idk... I think I need to join an anthropology book club to have people to talk with about this. Only way for now is to share on the internet and maybe a discussion starts. Want to see what others think of this (especially if they read the book).

#anthropology #Bonobo Handshake #apes #bonobo #racism #reading #sorry I haven't posted are in a while. It's because.... I haven't drawn kdsjghsdkjgnsj #I do have a chimpanzee acrylic painting I'm working on slowly! but i've never worked with acrylic so it's just experiments #no sharing yet #and concept art for my story... that I am also not sharing yet.#well that's all. bye!

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aihoshiino · 2 days

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chapter 147 thoughts

you guys ever hear the tale of the monkey's paw. grants your wish but you suffer dire consequences as a result? just felt relevant to this chapter for some reason. anyway.

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Completely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 4

I'm gonna be up front and say that while I really wanted to like this chapter and it has the bones of interesting ideas, so many of the existing issues with the Movie Arc just bring it crashing back down. I probably dislike it more than I necessarily should because knowing that this definitely is the end and seeing concretely in hindsight just how much time was wasted and how much excellent material has been squandered or flat out skipped over entirely just makes me want to put my head through a brick wall. And it just sucks because, like… man, I don't want to dislike Oshi no Ko! I really don't enjoy feeling like I'm just putting negativity out each chapter because when the story hits, it hits so fucking good!! The Movie Arc has been clunky but it's had some truly breathtaking individual moments and character beats that make me remember why I fell in love with the series so deeply but then chapters like this come along and I wonder why I'm even bothering to keep reading.

anyway. Anyway.

To my genuine shock and surprise, the RBHK conversation happens entirely onscreen and isn't needlessly dragged out which I will take as a W at this point. What is less of a W is how just… underwhelming this ended up being? This is Hikaru's first meeting (that we know of) with the child he fathered and then essentially orphaned… at least as far as Ruby is concerned. So her total lack of reaction to him is baffling. The question currently seems to be whether Ruby is only pretending not to recognize him in order to try and pry the answer she's looking for out of him or whether Akasaka really, genuinely wants me to believe that Ruby does not recognize her father, when Akane recognized him on sight, he looks identical to her twin brother she spent 18 years growing up with and she is in the middle of MAKING A MOVIE THAT STARS HIM. If the latter is the intent then all I can say is that I feel genuinely fucking insulted on Ruby's behalf at her being dumbed down this badly and for myself as a reader that Akasaka thinks I'm stupid enough to buy this. So I am very much hoping it's the former.

The talk they go onto have is also………………………….. man. I want to like it. I really want to pull it apart and analyze it because it is fascinating. It's a really important look into Ruby's feelings and I even myself said this was something I really wanted to see Ruby dealing with - being faced with the realization that the person who killed her mother isn't some ephemeral faceless force of uncomplicated evil, but a fucked up human being who was hurt and suffering and who faced horrific and monstrous abuse just like Ai did. The idea of Ruby wrestling with her conflicting feelings of empathy and resentment, similar to Kana trying to reconcile her lingering hurt with her love for Ruby as her friend, is super compelling.

But like… she didn't! Akasaka having Ruby look into the camera and having her say "uhhh i was totally having all these deep and complicated feelings this whole time trust me bro" is the first we have heard Ruby struggle with literally any of this. It's yet another example of what I've been saying this whole time of Akasaka both lacking enough respect for Ruby to seriously interrogate her as a character and rushing her to the endpoint of what should have been long term characterization in lieu of showing us the work it takes to get there. Rather than organically weaving any of this into the prior story and letting us actually see Ruby work through this, she just starts awkwardly monologing about it to a conveniently placed guy who is, depending on your interpretation of the chapter, either some rando with an umbrella or the guy she's pretty sure killed her mom.

There is no reason her struggling to reconcile these contrasting feelings of resentment and empathy couldn't have been explored as the movie was being filmed. There were countless opportunities for this to have come up while the movie was filming the scenes dealing with Hikaru's abuse - we even get this set up in 139 during the filming of their first meeting but it gets derailed by a dumb brocon joke because I guess that was more important to spend pagetime on than the arc Akasaka is trying to suddenly pretend Ruby was having.

And it's not like it even matters! Unless the next arc is also going to be about 15 Year Lie where we interrogate the content of the movie not shown to us, Ruby's struggle here comes to nothing. That overhanging question of "Will Ai('s actress) forgive her killer or not?" is cut short and goes unanswered. So what was the point of this?

I also just really can't get my head around this continued thread of Ruby wanting to be an idol who 'surpasses' Ai. I had a whole rant about it here I ended up deleting lol but the long and the short of it is it feels entirely incongruous with the series' broader portrayal and Ruby's own attitude about chasing Ai's light and what being an idol did to Ai but at this point I've given up.

The exchange with Kamiki that follows is like, the one part of this chapter I think is just uncomplicatedly interesting and worth interrogation. He actually gives Ruby a lot of genuinely good advice here - that she can only find an answer to that question by interrogating it herself and an answer from someone else won't solve the issue. Does she actually want suffering and revenge? Are those really at the core of who she is as a person?

The framing here is obviously and overtly sinister and suspicious and we're pretty clearly supposed to think he was about to shove Ruby down the stairs, but a few things jumped out to me. The first is that if you pay attention to the backgrounds, they seem to have actually already been close to if not at ground level by the time Akane caught up to them, so�� what exactly was a push from that height going to do if he did, in fact, push her?

Not only that but uh… holy shit! His white hoshigan!!!!

Like, am I misremembering, or is this not the one and only time we have ever seen adult Hikaru - maybe even the real Hikaru full stop - without black hoshigans??? Given what we've seen of him so far and how the black hoshigans have been used as a symbol, if he really was about to kill Ruby… where did THAT come from?

Added together with the deeply sympathetic portrayal of his younger self in the movie, it continues to raise a lot of questions for me as to exactly what we're supposed to be thinking of Hikaru and how we're supposed to feel about him that I am finding very compelling. ambiguity enjoyers when the

NINO IS HERE!!!! MISS NINO I'M FREE THURSDAY NIGHT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT

Joking aside, I'm really glad Nino is here because it implies her whatever the fuck is going on situationship with Kamiki is going to continue into the final arc(s?) of the series and that we'll get to see more of her as a result. Nino's been one of my favourite OnK characters since I first read 45510 so any more content of her in the main story is a treat.

Kamiki's words about the movie killing him via public opinion also lines up with what I was expecting to happen more or less… I'm curious to see how this is all going to play out and what this means for Aqua given that, if last chapter is anything to go by, he's still very much struggling with suicidal ideation. can someone PLEASE give my son a bone crushing hug.

akane stalking kamiki is up there as one of the funniest things ever in this manga btw. what is wrong w her <3

This is unfortunately where me having nice things to say about this chapter ends because the chapter - and therefore the Movie Arc as a whole - ends with this transparently rushed sequence absolutely mach speech blasting through the remaining material of the movie in one and a half's pages worth of silent single panels. Honestly, I really can't properly articulate how mad and frustrated I am about this lmao. It really just feels like Akasaka admitting to the reader that he's stopped giving a shit about what the movie was supposed to be about. The HKAI breakup that was given a huge amount of setup and weight at the start of filming? Ai's pregnancy? AI'S DEATH???? It's all skipped over and brushed aside as if it never mattered in the first place. Never mind any of the interesting characterization we could've gotten out of it. Never mind that the Movie Arc was promised to be about Ai and untangling her past. Never fucking mind Ruby having literally any interiority about having to act out the death of her beloved mother and reliving the event that destroyed her and her brother's lives. If Akasaka doesn't care, why should I?

It feels like a slap in the face for getting invested in the story's promises and trying to engage with it. But of course, I'm going to be back like a clown doing just that when the next chapter drops anyway.

at least we're finally moving on to a new arc but by god. at what fucking cost.

break next week……………………………………………..

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #chapter reviews

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moodymelanist · 1 day

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Want to write the reverse of your wlw nessian drabble where cas doesn’t realize she’s gay yet but nesta thinks cas stares at her boobs a little too much to be straight

hell yeah I do. hope y’all enjoy this one and happy @nestaarcheronweek day 4 🩷 got the title from tangerine by kehlani hehe

Read on AO3 here!

“Are you going to keep staring down my shirt, or can we get this presentation done?”

Cass startled so badly at Nesta’s words that she nearly knocked over her water, only barely managing to catch the reusable bottle at the last second. “What?”

Cass and Nesta had been paired up as partners for their advanced writing requirement course, and they’d been making steady progress on their presentation in one of the library’s group study rooms. Cass was an education major to Nesta’s political science, and Cass had never been so excited for a group project in her life.

At least, until Nesta had shown up to the library wearing that shirt. It was just a simple, blue, wrap-tie shirt, but between the way it made Nesta’s eyes look even bluer than usual and the way it perfectly cupped her breasts, Cass was having a difficult time staying focused on the task at hand.

“Sorry,” Cass said, hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt from being called out. She’d thought she was being more discreet, but Nesta had clearly proved that theory wrong. “I was just, uh, zoned out.”

“Were you zoned out the other three times, too?” Nesta fired back without missing a beat.

“I…” Cass trailed off, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t sound insane. “I just think your shirt is really… cute.”

Nesta Archeron was easily one of the most gorgeous women that Cass had ever seen. With her gray-blue eyes, bronze hair, and amazing fashion sense, Cass spent most of her time wanting to be just like Nesta. Granted, Cass was way too much of a tomboy to pull off even a quarter of Nesta’s wardrobe, but a woman could dream, right? And who better to dream about that Nesta Archeron, especially when she had on a shirt like that?

“Right,” Nesta replied with the most deadpan voice Cass had ever heard. She sighed heavily before shutting her laptop altogether, fixing Cass with a slightly incredulous look. “Are you ever going to get your shit together and ask me out?”

“What?” Cass blurted out, all the blood in her body rushing to her cheeks. God, she hoped her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “I don’t—”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Cass, I can do this assignment in my sleep. I just wanted to make sure my gaydar was working.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cass answered. Okay, maybe sometimes she found herself staring way longer than she should’ve when it came to pretty women, but that was just… what everyone did. That didn’t mean she was anything more than a strong ally, no matter how many times she cringed when a man came near her.

“Don’t you?” Nesta asked, cocking an eyebrow. She leaned forward, a victorious little smirk gracing her lips as Cass’ eyes immediately tracked the motion. “Well that’s a yes.”

“It’s not my fault you have a great rack,” Cass blurted out, her brain to mouth filter evaporating altogether.

Nesta snorted. “I’m not making you look at it.”

“If I wasn’t looking, I’d have to be dead,” Cass muttered.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty,” Nesta retorted with a roll of her eyes.

Before Cass could think of a proper reply — Nesta thought she was pretty? — Nesta reached out and grabbed a hold of Cass’ chair, pulling her own so close that there was no room to escape. Not that Cass was feeling particularly inclined to do that, anyway. It was dizzying having Nesta so close; she was pinned under that icy gaze and couldn’t back away even if she wanted to.

Cass didn’t want to.

“I’m going to finish this assignment when I get home,” Nesta said, her voice low and offering no argument. “Give you some time to think about… things.”

“Think about what?” Cass said back. She was hardly breathing as Nesta leaned in even closer, placing her hand on the chair in between Cass’ thighs for balance.

Nesta was close enough now that it would’ve been easy for Cass to lean in and kiss her, and find out if her lips were as soft as they looked. Cass’ lips parted in anticipation, every thought in her mind besides Nesta emptying out like they’d never been there at all, and she was torn between leaning forward to kiss her or letting Nesta continue to order Cass around like she owned her.

What the hell was wrong with her?

“That’s what I thought,” Nesta breathed after a few moments, her lips still dangerously close to Cass’ own. When Nesta laughed quietly at Cass’ reflexive frown, Cass could almost feel the vibrations on her lips, and God wasn’t that a thought. “You’re taking me to dinner tonight.”

“I— okay,” Cass agreed. God, she hoped she didn’t sound as dumbstruck as she felt; Nesta didn’t suffer fools, and Cass wasn’t trying to be one. “Whatever you want.”

Nesta finally leaned forward to press a kiss to Cass’ cheek, pulling back with a smirk. “I think we’ll get along just fine. See you later.”

Cass watched Nesta grab her things and saunter out of the room, the only thought in her head I love when women…

Well. At least one woman, that was for damn sure.

#acotar #acosf #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #moodymelanistwrites #anon asks #Nessian prompts #wlw!nessian #pro Nessian #pro nesta archeron #pro cassian #Cassian acotar #nestaweek2024

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curioushabitforarivergod · 2 days

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I LOVE the historical context you add to tom riddle meta. im curious. at that time how important and wealthy would tom riddle sr likely have been? i.e. how nice was the life that Tom missed out on by growing up in the orphanage instead of with his dad?

Omg thanks so much!

We don't actually know much about the Riddles. They likely lived in Yorkshire, Lancashire, or the very west of Cornwall (200 miles from Surrey as per Goblet of Fire), but I think it's more likely they lived in the North, specifically in Yorkshire. The Riddle's name is probably locational rather than profession based, and from a village called Ryedale in the North Riding of Yorkshire. It was probably mutated over time because spelling wasn't standardised or even close to standardisation when last names were beginning to become a thing (roughly 11th century in Britain).

Okay, now the reason I went into that is because I believe the Riddles were the big guys back in the day (by which I mean late medieval period c. 1100s until the late 1500s) and were the kind of wealthy landowners who employed serfdom potentially even past the Peasant's Revolt of 1381. I know a lot of people place them as merchants who made money from trade but based on their name and location (Yorkshire is famous for its sheep) I think it's more likely they were landowners. They probably had pretty solid generational wealth, potentially even being landed gentry (a class of gentry who made their money on leasing land and known as lords of the manor), although I'm fairly certain they lost most of this later. I don't think they ever were part of the peerage (the level above gentry in the British aristocracy who hold hereditary titles) but gentry usually married into peerage and vis versa so they were likely quite connected despite never being "Lords" themselves. They got their name through their association with the village as the big whigs.

Even if the Riddles had kept up serfdom for a century or so after the Peasants Revolt (entirely plausible), serfdom was abolished by Elizabeth I in 1574. Whenever they stopped working as part of the feudal system, I don't think it had major impacts on their wealth. Like I mentioned above, they were probable landed gentry, making their money by leasing out land and still profiting off the lower classes.

With the Industrial Revolution and the Agricultural Depression of the 1870s, I think they would've lost quite a bit of money, potentially even their place as landed gentry. They would've still been quite rich, but their wealth was probably in decline and they had to look elsewhere. Maybe they never succeeded in this.

The thing is, we know next to nothing about the Riddles and the family we see through Tom Riddle's eyes is one that's lost status and connections because of the scandal of Riddle Snr. having run off with Merope without being married and (rumours have it!) having a child out of wedlock. The Riddle family probably declined economically with WWII (and to a lesser extent WWI) as well, although they never got a chance to really see the era through properly due to their… untimely deaths.

I think if Tom had been raised by the Riddles, they may not have fallen so far, providing Riddle Snr. married Merope before her death, or at least had falsified documents that he did. Tom would've still grown up in declining wealth, but more than enough money still to not have to work. Life for Tom would've been far better, what without starvation, disease, poverty and later, bombs and would've remain largely untouched by the war. The Great Depression wouldn't have it so hard, and Tom, not being surrounded by so much death, would've been fundamentally altered. I'm not sure what the Riddle's reaction to Tom being magic would've been like, but I'll leave that to any writers. All in all, Tom missed out on a far better life.

Thank you so much for the ask! It really made my day!!

#tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #hp meta #harry potter headcannons #riddle family #land ownership is a headache #also why were there so many agricultural revolutions??#tom riddle meta #harry potter meta #ask #anon ask

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pass1onepr1ncess · 3 days

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Source Memories

I wanted to gather all my thoughts and find a place to put down everything that I remember about source, and I know people love headcanons posts on this site and this is kinda like that in a way so I figured "Why the hell not?" I would like to add that while these are from my memories of the events of Vento Aureo, some of them are also from my life afterwards. I don't have a ton of memories from after we all left Rome, but there's a couple. I stayed in Naples for about a year after that, but then I left and never saw any of them again, so.

Giorno

He was already pretty tall at 15. I think he was, like, 5"9'? I didn't know at the time, but now that I have extra knowledge I'm fairly sure it's because of the Dio/Jonathan genes. Those guys were fucking huge. I wouldn't be surprised if Giorno had grown up to be at least 6"0. However, I left Naples around the time we both turned 17 and he was about 5"11', so not quite. But again, I left and we were both still growing.

He wasn't white. He didn't have a whole lot of Japanese features from his mom, but his skin tone was one of them. He was more tanned than myself, which to be honest wasn't saying much but y'know. He wasn't the darkest either, though. In fact, he was still on the lighter side of the group.

His hair was extremely voluminous. And shiny. I think I only ever saw him take out his braid once, but oh my God. I think I asked him if he used a hair mask or something and he said no but that he used coconut oil, I think.

I don't think he was an actual vampire like his father, I don't think it was really genetic. Not in my source, anyway. But he did have a set of fucking canines on him. Also, he yawns like a cat. Narancia and I watched him do it once and saw his teeth and looked at each other because I don't think either of us had ever seen anyone with teeth closer to fangs than Giorno's.

He liked humming things. I don't really know what music he was thinking about or if it was even actual songs he was humming, but he hummed little tunes a lot. It wasn't very loud, and I could tell it was just to himself. He had a smooth humming voice, though. It made me wonder what he would sound like if he ever sang, but I never got the chance to hear that.

He was one of the few people in the group who didn't drink. Pretty sure Bruno offered him some wine once, but he turned it down and said that he didn't drink. That was the only thing he ever said about it, though.

Gay trans man. You could see his top surgery scars from the window in his shirt he always kept open.

Bruno

I don't think he had ever lived there, but you could tell by his physique and facial features that his family was extremely Greek. Also, Bruno was probably the palest out of all of us. He spent more time than the others in the turtle both to guard me and to keep out of the sun. And even when he went out, he put on sunscreen almost everytime he left. I never saw him get burned, but that could also just be because he was careful. Not sure if he really was prone to sunburn or if he was just overly-cautious. I wouldn't put it past him either way.

He was very strict. I didn't know any of them that much at all while I was with all of them, despite everything that happened. Bruno made sure that we were all aware that I was "The Mission" and that none of them were supposed to get close to me or get attached. He made sure I knew, as well. Told me not to talk to them too much so I wouldn't form a bond with them. However, things obviously changed after Venice. But by then, we hardly had time to talk at all. In the end, I didn't know Bruno that much before he died, but I could tell that he started to care about me despite being the one who insisted I was off-limits. I know the fandom likes the idea of him being an adoptive father to me, but to be honest he felt more like a protecticve older brother.

His eyes were a very dark blue that very much seemed almost black in the shadow. But when we were outside, you could tell that they were more of a deep cerulean.

He was hopelessly in love with Leone. Had absolutely no chance of hiding it even if he wanted to, and he didn't want to. He would look at her like Flynn Ryder looked at Rapunzel in the floating lights scene in Tangled. Leone wasn't fond of PDA, so they never actually even showed many signs of their relationship even with their own squad around. But you could tell from Bruno alone that they had something special. I remember before everything really got dangerous, seeing him look at her like that made me hope that I'd find someone like that someday.

That little black part of his suit wasn't lingerie. Not in my source, at least. The way it moved with his clothes made it clear that it wasn't a tattoo, either. It was just a part of his shirt.

His zippers didn't leave scars unless the parts he had unzipped were left unzipped for too long. The longer they were unzipped, the more prominent the scars were. I had/have (in headspace) the one on my wrist, and it's pretty prominent because 1) the zipping wasn't the original cause of the injury and 2) the zipper popped when he died and before Giorno brought him back. The scars they left behind were also zipper-shaped. Like the teeth, I mean.

He liked being near the ocean. I think the sound of it put him at ease and helped clear his mind or something, I'm not entirely sure. He just liked being by the water. It wasn't the same if we were more inland with rivers or something. He just seemed more relaxed when we were specifically by the sea. I didn't know why back then, but now I know that it must've reminded him of home.

Leone

Black transwoman. It was never my business what surgeries she had, but I know she was on HRT. She wore her hair in micro braids, and her roots were a much darker purple than her braids. I'm pretty sure her hair was naturally purple, but it was braided with yarn which is where that lavender color came from. She was the second darkest in the group.

She... didn't talk much. Much preferred her own company over anyone else's- except for Bruno, but she never liked to be too close with him while anyone else was in the room. If I didn't talk much with anyone else in the group, I hardly spoke to Leone at all. But even then, I think we both knew that amidst the group of almost all men, we both shared a bond since we were the only two girls. Since she didn't talk much and I wasn't allowed to talk, there were times where we would be listening to the boys' conversation and hear something strange and we would both look at each other from across the room in that gossipy sort of "Did you hear that, too?" kind of way. But, that was kind of the extent of my interactions with Leone. I'm sure if we were given the chance, we would've gotten along. She probably could've been a really cool older sister.

She really liked her wine. I don't think there was a moment at any point on the trip when she was with us that there wasn't at least one bottle of red wine among the group at least. She would sometimes send Mista or Narancia to get extra bottles when she was running low. Bruno said something at one point about her drinking on a mission, but she waved him off and reassured him that she'd be fine. She spaced her glasses out just enough that she wouldn't get drunk, so I can only assume she'd been used to drinking on the job and knew how to handle herself. She offered me a glass once. In any other circumstances I might've accepted, but I was too on-edge and paranoid then. I wanted to stay as alert as I could be, even before the whole San Giorgio Maggiore debacle. Bruno reprimanded her for offering it to me, though. Said that I was too young to drink. She said that he doesn't seem to mind Fugo, Mista, or Narancia drinking, and he replied with something about it being different with them. That I had a whole life ahead of me that didn't need to be tainted with alcohol. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had already drank with my mother before.

I never left the turtle when we were in Sardinia. Bruno had instructed me to stay put and that they'd let me know when we were safely off the island. When everyone else came back, no one told me what had happened. Not specifically, just that they ran into some trouble. Hardly any of them even spoke to each other for the first few hours on the boat. But when we left without Leone and when I saw everyone's expressions, I knew. It was a weird feeling because I remember thinking to myself that I was grateful that Bruno had told me not to get attached. I was grateful I didn't know her, but I still felt sad. It definitely hit Bruno the hardest. Narancia was more outwardly expressive with his feelings, but I could tell Bruno was... I don't even know how to describe it. He just looked miserable, like someone had just ripped a piece of his soul from him. Giorno checked on me a couple times, I think we were in a similar boat (metaphorically speaking). He had only joined the squad for a little bit, so he also wasn't entirely close to Leone. He was the only one in a semi-stable frame of mind to be checking up on others. Mista just sat off to the side by himself, taking apart his pistol and putting it back together again over and over. The Sex Pistols were worried about him, but he ignored them until it was time to feed them.

Fugo

There's gonna be so little about him on this list because we hardly spoke at all before Venice and then he left and I never saw him again so... Idk.

He made it clear by his facial expressions that he did NOT like me. Like a mixture of anger and suspicion. I knew this even before reading PHF, but reading the book and getting his perspective on it made a lot of things make sense. He was suspicious because I didn't talk and was distant, especially considering I was related to The Boss. I understand, and I don't blame him. I kinda wish I could talk to him again and explain myself a bit, but I think Sheila E helped him understand my side a bit as well even thought I never met her. I'm sure the events of PHF did happen in my source, but I wasn't around to witness them. I left Naples before it all went down, I never saw Fugo again after Venice.

I think he had the same feelings towards me as he did towards Giorno. We were both New(TM) and I think he was both upset that his routine and daily life had been disrupted and changed and also just generally suspicious of us.

Out of everyone, he seemed closest to Leone. He obviously had a bond with Bruno, as did everyone else on the team, but he stuck around Leone like he was her clingy younger brother. She didn't seem to mind, which I was a bit surprised about given how she was. I'm sure she might've protested at some point, but I guess they had been teamed together long enough that she gave up trying to push him away and got used to it. They kinda looked like that "Excuse me, he asked for no pickles" meme lmao.

Mista

He was. Really creepy towards me. Not excessively so, like he wasn't being a weirdo in general he just. It was clear that the only other woman he had ever really actually hung out with was Leone and he didn't really know how to process that I had boobs or that I showed a lot of skin in my outfits. I know he didn't mean to be so weird about it, but it was enough that I have a permanent distaste for him. Like the time in the van when he was whispering (badly whispering, btw, I could hear every word) to Fugo about my boobs and I just kept looking out the window pretending I couldn't hear because I felt so awkward and gross about it. I kept wishing Leone would take her headphones off and smack him or something, anything to make him shut up. And then Bruno slammed on the brakes and Fugo went flying into my chest and gratefully he was normal about it and tried to apologize and I think he felt just as awkward and embarassed about it as I did- but then Mista had to make it even weirder for all of us! He just. I didn't like him and I still don't. Not all Mistas, just the one from my source. He makes me wildly uncomfortable and the fact that he was 18 while I was 15 makes it. I just try not to think about it!

He smelled, like, REALLY bad. He constantly smelled like sweat and onions but then he would douse himself in an UNGODLY amount of Calvin Klein cologne to cover it up like that was an acceptable replacement for a shower. But then the cologne was just too much and it smelled like chemicals. Also, those pants were real zebra leather. Do you have any idea how insane you have to be to wear actual leather pants in summer? In Italy?? In Naples????? We swapped bodies and I swear to God this man's legs were drenched with sweat and the leather would stick to the skin and it was a HORRID sensory experience. Not to mention the fact that he was also even weirder about him being in MY body.

The Sex Pistols were pretty cool, at least. They were fun to talk to. I'd give them snacks sometimes when Mista wasn't around because he didn't like them eating when it wasn't meal time.

I'm, like, 95% sure he did actually have OCD. It wasn't just the 4s thing, either. Sometimes he would have to spin the cylinder of his pistol a few times before it "felt right" so he could actually shoot. Or turning a doorknob multiple times before opening the door, or retracing his steps on the sidewalk before moving forward. I don't mean this in a bad way, I just genuinely think he had OCD and that's okay. If he did, it's not like it was his fault.

Pretty sure he was cishet. Or maybe not straight, but I'm fairly sure he was cis. But also, I didn't know much about any of them and could be absolutely wrong! Also he was some kind of latino but I never asked about specifics so that's all I know.

Narancia

Nara is the hardest to think about, I think. I've always thought that if we were given the chance to have known each other in any other context that we could've been really good friends. Maybe even more? I'm not even sure myself, to be honest, But I know I have strong feelings about him. He ignored Bruno's whole spiel about not getting attached to The Mission and would sneak into the turtle to hang out with me. It was fun. He kept me company, which was nice because I was so intensely bored. The guys didn't give me anything to do other than just sit around in the turtle, but I know even then that I was having a better time than they were, so I can't exactly complain.

He let me in on a decent chunk of the gang gossip. Not a whole lot, but he told me about Polpo and the arrow before it became a whole thing. He didn't know about the whole Requiem thing, but he knew the arrow gave people stands. It was how he got Aerosmith when he first joined the gang.

He was Indian, I'm pretty sure. and Genderfluid. I don't know what his sexuality was, but I think he may have had a crush on me? Like I said before, I don't know. There was, maybe the start of something between us that we didn't have enough time for. Too much going on at the time for that.

He had already seemed keen on wanting to befriend me even before we got to Venice, but he seemed to stick pretty close after we left the Church. I didn't know then about the "Trish is me" thing because I was unconscious for that, but it was clear that his motivations had changed from "I'm going to protect you because I was told to" to "I'm going to protect you because I understand you." He was almost always in arms length of me after that, like if he got too far he wouldn't be able to save me. Which is kinda funny considering that his stand was long distance, but it was sweet.

Given that he was the only one in the gang who had genuinely tried to form a connection with me despite the circumstances- and specifically the way it happened- his death hit me the hardest. He was going on about how he wanted to go back to school and all these things he wanted to do when we got back and then all of a sudden just. He was gone. I was homeschooled before my mother got sick, and I didn't really have any friends. Narancia was the first person who I felt somewhat close to, someone I could call a friend. And even though I knew him for a very short time, he impacted me in a way that only my mother had before. And yet, when he died, I couldn't cry. I was too scared and on edge and Aware that Diavolo was nearby. But a few months later when Giorno and Mista helped to set up a funeral, when I saw how empty the church was and how Mista and Giorno were the only ones there, I broke down. He was right, we were extremely similar. Just like me, he lost the people who cared about him and was betrayed by people he thought he could trust. And he was so bright, despite it all. Even though he had been hurt, he still carried a smile and tried to make his friends laugh. He didn't let his pain dampen his positivity, and he was hopeful to the very end. And the fact that he was the one in a casket when I hadn't done anything to deserve my seat at his service, the fact that he died protecting someone who probably didn't deserve it. I couldn't take it. I don't think that way anymore, and I'll forever be grateful to him for what he did for me. Both in protecting me and being my friend. I try to stay positive and keep my head up because it's what I think he would do. That way, he never truly dies.

I tried to look up what kind of flowers Giorno grew over hia body in canon, but I couldn't find anything that quite matched how they're drawn. But at least in my memories, they were pumpkin blossoms.

Anyway, here's your little reminder that my asks are open if anyone wants to talk about source. I'll answer any question as long as it's not weird or creepy.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #vento aureo #jjba part 5 #golden wind #jojo part 5 #jjba golden wind #jjba vento auero #giorno giovanna #bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati #leone abbacchio #panacotta fugo #fugo pannacotta #mista guido #narancia ghirga #System Posting #source memories

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lazerswordweilder · 20 hours

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I wanna see Danny absolutely insane. Not like. We got too silly insane. Like, pushed past his breaking point, desperately trying to hold on, for the fifth time this week, and it’s Monday.

I wanna see him smile when Dash shoves him into his locker, because he’s not sure what to do. On one hand he’s so done with this, and he knows he could end Dash in a fraction of a second. On the other hand, it was almost reassuring, nostalgic, he remembers when this used to hurt.

I wanna see ghosts and humans alike, go to hurt or bother Danny Fenton Phantom. And have them stop when he turns around, because the look in his eyes is not something they understand nor want to mess with. Lancer saw a weight he thought only characters in books could possibly have to carry, Paulina saw tears and when has anyone ever seen him cry, Vlad saw exhaustion that cuts into your very core but you have to keep going because that’s what’s expected of you, Ember saw grief and pain over something that never happened but could’ve been, Dash saw pain a hundred times worse than anything he’s ever felt, Jazz saw protectiveness of a kingdom who hates him, Wes swears he looked insane.

And Danny? Danny is done with their shit. And he doesn’t swear. He’s so tired of everything, he’s so close to giving up, he is very much not feeling phantastic right now. He’s got more scar tissue than skin, he’s pretty sure everything he owns has at least a little of his blood on it by now, he’s forgotten what feeling okay is like, and he can’t even begin to describe everything else, and he means everything. He’s got half the mind to track down who ever said death was peaceful and make them deal with his life. But he’s a hero. Right?

He knows he’s got duties, the Realms needs a king, Amity needs a protector (both the humans and the ghosts), Danny Fenton needs to go to school. Oh and he’s pretty sure Frostbite is having a panic attack after looking at him which is ridiculous. But still, the stars seem real inviting right now, he wonders if Clockwork would turn back time for him and just let him sleep on the moon for 200 or so years. Probably not. (Clockwork absolutely would’ve). He might just do it anyways. It’s kind of ridiculous how much somethings just look like comfy beds to sleep in for a trillion years to him now, he fell asleep in a snow bank earlier which wasn’t nearly cold enough. But it’s kind of fair Danny supposes, he can’t remember the last time his home really felt like home, and Amity in general is his haunt, but eh, whatever.

Still though, having your enemy worried for you is really something. Like Vlad should comment, Vlad’s the source of a small fraction of his problems! Which is a lot! First of all having to worry about another source of constant attacks, having to try and convince his parents that Vlad is so clearly evil, having to check up on Dani and also make sure Vlad isn’t trying anything like that again, and not to mention the whole mayor of the town he lives in thing.

Okay this kind of got off track. But my point is, I want it to be too much, instead of somehow managing to survive it all and getting help, Danny gets pushed off the edge (and can’t get out) and he just goes crazy, he breaks down right in the middle of school over a minor inconvenience, laughing then sobbing then screaming then wailing for ancients knows how long. Then he flies off somewhere and continues to breakdown for a while, then he returns to his life like nothing happens, but it did.

That was it.

He can’t be pulled back now. You had your chance. You all had so many chances. And now he’s lost it for good. And you all deserve it.

He’s not going to apologise for punching Dash through a wall, he’s not going to apologise for whatever he did in that little blacked out period of time, he’s not going to apologise for taking a nap in the observatory and hissing and attacking all the tourists and everyone else, he’s not going to apologise for dissecting his parents, he’s not going to apologise for making Vlad regret it, he’s not going to apologise for making the ghost writer eat a book, he’s not going to apologise at all.

You let him get like this. He doesn’t want to shift the blame. But what was he supposed to do? No. Oh no. Don’t try to explain. This is all your fault. And he’s tired of pretending he’s fine. And he’s tired of helping. Because you lost that a while back.

You all don’t even know how dead you are to him, he had a little regret when it came to Sam and Tucker and Jazz, and that’s why they’re alive right now. Because they did all they could, well, not all they could, but that was because he asked them not to tell. Maybe he shouldn’t off.

All hail the high king Danny Fenton Phantom. The king who never stopped crying.

#danny phantom #lazerswordweilder writes

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creative-heart · 2 days

Text

"My thoughts will echo your name"| Esteban Kukuriczka

Chapter five: “In the dark, we’re barely hanging on”

Lucia’s notes: We finally getting rid of Lucas! yaayy, so in advance, this is gonna be kind of a sad chapter, also, we’re approaching the end of this wonderful fic, only 2 more chapters to go. The section that is completely in italics are Y/N’s memories.

Playlist:

Happier than ever- Billie Eilish

Atlantis- Seafret

Lose you to love me- Selena Gomez

Somewhere only we know- Keane

Traitor- Olivia Rodrigo

Flicker- Niall Horan

Bigger than the whole sky- Taylor Swift

Content Warning: Break up, angst, sadness, drinking (not too heavily).

Word Count: 1.9k

After that night with Esteban, Y/N knew exactly what she needed to do, the blonde had to admit that this was a decision long overdue, it had just taken her to get to this point to realize it. Mastering all the courage she had she called Lucas “Hey, can you come to the apartment? we need to talk” she said as soon as she heard the phone click when her boyfriend picked up the phone.

“Hello, what is there to talk about?” Y/N rolled her eyes at his reply “just come over Lucas” she hung up pacing around the living room her bags already packed by the couch, she was decided to leave, where to, she had absolutely no idea, it wasn’t like she was going to go back to her parents, that door had closed long ago, she couldn’t turn to Amelia either, they might be friends, but she was Lucas’ sister at the end of the day. Y/N kept pacing around until she felt the turn of the keys in the door and stopped in her tracks taking a deep breath before he saw the guy’s face walk into what used to be their shared home.

“Well.. I’m here, wanted to talk? talk, I’ve got plans” Lucas crossed his arms over his chest. Y/N took a deep breath facing him and raised an eyebrow trying to keep the best poker face she could master.

“I think we need to break up, I’m done and tired of feeling like a fly on the wall for you, you haven’t turned to look at me all but twice in the past year almost. You think I don’t know how you’ve been talking to Alma all these years we’ve been together? and no, before you say anything, I didn’t need to go through your phone, but you’re way too obvious. You’ve never let me be myself, whatever I did was wrong, wasn’t good enough”- damn it- she cursed at herself internally when she felt the tears brimming her eyes through her well rehearsed speech. The girl looked away to wipe at her eyes before turning back around. “I deserve more than this, I don’t deserve feeling like the last option on your life, like you’d rather be anywhere but home with me, I’m tired Lucas, I loved you, damn it, even if you don’t deserve it, in some stupid, sad, twisted way I still do. And I do thank you for everything you gave me when we got together, you showed me who I could be, I don’t know what changed, but it’s too late.” Y/N looked at the tall guy frozen in his spot, absolutely gobsmacked blinking slowly “We’re done Lucas, I’m leaving, pease don’t come after me” she whispered grabbing her things and walking out the door as her keys to the apartment rested on the table beside the door.

The brunette turned around looking at her back “wait….Y/N, we can work through this, I’m sure” he said softly, not that he really cared about her, but his family thought she was wife material and her trustfund was pretty steep. Y/N the Hazel eyed girl turned around once more and he knew, he knew then and there that there was nothing left in there for him, she felt nothing.

Y/N walked out dragging her luggage after her and started walking down the street, not too sure where to. She just knew she needed to get as much distance between her and that apartment as humanly possible; as she walked her mind alternated between playing over images of her relationship with Lucas, how the whole situation had unfolded over the years.

Y/N had just transferred universities to go to law school in the big city, coming from a small town, this had been the plan since she was a kid, she wasn’t too sure if it was hers or her parents plan, but it was the plan. As she walked into her first class, she saw a handsome guy, slightly older than her standing at the front of the room and she headed over “excuse me, is this criminal law 101?” she said barely above a whisper. The guy looked at her, gorgeous brown hair paired with piercing blue eyes, she felt the air escape her lungs. “Yes it is, take a seat, we’re about to begin”, handsome eyes turned out to be the student teacher assistant, Lucas was his name.

After a few months of just looking at each other across the room in class, he walked up to her after class and smiled “would you go out for a drink with me?” and that’s where it all started. Sweet nothings whispered in her ear wherever they went, holding Y/N while she cried after her parents told her that she would no longer be their daughter if she dared drop out of Law School to pursue photography, he had held her up when she thought she was gonna fall to her knees.

Y/N didn’t know when, or how, but she had started crying again her tears falling freely down her cheeks, but she wasn’t sure why, she knew breaking up was the right move, she was better off without Lucas. The blonde didn’t realize how she had made her way to Esteban’s building, she looked at the doorbell panel and saw his name pressing the button hoping he’d be home and he’d be available.

“Hello?” she heard his sweet voice over the com and her heart skipped a bit “is anyone there?” shit, she hadn’t replied “Kuku, it’s….it’s me, Y/N” she hiccuped into her end of the com “are you busy? can I please come in?” she whispered.

“Sweetie, are you crying? oh god, of course, come on in” he buzzed the door opened and once he heard the click of the door closing behind her he went and opened the apartment door waiting for her. As soon as Y/N stepped out of the elevator, suitcases behind her and eyes red with tears he frowned and went over hugging her “Hey hey, what happened babe?” the older man said quietly walking them back into the apartment taking the luggage with him, he walked them both to the couch before going to get a cup of tea for Y/N “what happened Y/N/N? wanna talk about it?”

Y/N looked up at the brown eyed man for the first time since stepping out of the elevator, tears still streaming down her cheeks like rivers and she hated herself for crying like that. She nodded softly “it’s over” the younger whispered “I finally broke up with Lucas” she gulped thick pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes as to suppress the tears to keep erupting. Kuku couldn’t help but feel relieved and almost happy for that to be over, he knew it wasn’t okay, he could tell Y/N was suffering and he wanted to take that away from her, but he was happy about her being single as he handed her the tea and sat down “I have nowhere to go now Kuku” she whispered taking a sup of the tea “I left the apartment, cause it was his name on the lease, and I can’t go to Amelia’s obviously, I can’t go back home to my parents, another of my friends isn’t in a place to take me in, I don’t know what I’m gonna do” Y/N said looking down into the mug swirling it gently.

“You may think this is a bit out there and crazy….but you could always stay here, I don’t mind, you can take my room, I can either sleep here on the couch, or even go to one of the guy’s places, maybe Mati or Fran” Kuku smiled sheepishly “you can stay as long as you want or need to get back on your feet” Y/N didn’t even dare looking at him, she knew too well what kuku’s eyes did to her on this short time of knowing eachother, not like she was in the mood for much right now, but he melted her heart away. Y/N stayed silent for a while, she really liked the idea of sharing a place with this sweet man, but she knew it was way too risky, after what seemed like an eternity for the sweet eyed man, she looked back up to him.

“I don’t wanna be alone tonight, but I would really appreciate it if you could…please don’t feel imposed, go to one of the guys places after, if you don’t want to, or can’t just let me know and I’ll for sure get another place to stay” Y/N downed the rest of her tea as Esteban shook his head “nonesense, you stay here as long as you want” he smiled softly rubbing her back and his touch felt like a warm blanket over her, it always felt so protective and she could stay like this forever. Y/N looked at him and smiled softly “Thank you so much, would it be possible to take a warm shower? I got kinda cold” the older man nodded and pointed her to the bathroom.

That night, after Y/N fell asleep in his arms while watching a movie to try and help her distract herself from the events of that day, Esteban stood up carefully picking the petite girl in his arms walking to his bedroom to lay her down as he tucked her in and kissed her forehead he stood back to his full height grabbing a few things to go settle on the couch for the night and he heard a sleepy voice say quietly “sleep with me please?” God every new thing he discovered about her drove him even more insane, that sweet soft sleepy voice and how angelic she looked while sleeping, he could never say no to this woman and so he laid down with her still fully clothed, he didn’t want her to get the wrong impression as she nuzzled back against him he kissed her head closing his eyes letting her always drunkening scent to wash over him lulling him to sleep.

Four days had gone by and he had been staying with Mati and Male to give Y/N some space, but today, encouraged by the pair he decided to go check in on the blonde girl taking some comfort chinese food with him, if she was anything like Male had suggested, she was probably not eating much. Esteban made his way to his place and knocked ont he apartment door. Soon enough Y/N opened the door, messy bun in her hair, pjs consisting of an old scooby doo t-shirt that was way too big on her and some baggy sweatpants, her eyes widened when she saw the guy standing at the door and she tried fixing her hair “kuku… I …I didn’t except you to come over, come on in”. The guy chuckled softly walking into his place and looked at her “No, you clearly weren’t, sorry to come unannounced, I just wanted to check on you, I’ve brought chinese takeout, and we can order some ice cream after if you want, I know how much you like salted caramel and chocolate” Y/N turned around smiling for the first time in days, how did he remember that? they’d only had ice cream a couple of times.

As she made some place on the coffee table she looked at the guy again “pick out something to watch? I’ll go get something to put the food in” she took the bag from the tall man and disappeared into the kitchen. If Esteban wasn’t mistaken, the smile she gave him right then wasn’t the same she always had, this was different, and he really wanted to discover more behind it, with no one standing between them, he knew he had to start acting soon, but he didn’t want to rush her into something she wasn’t up to. This was definitely screwing with his head.

P.S: I cringed so bad at this chapter god, so sorry, but it was necessary. Also credits to @cafekitsune for the awesome scene dividers.

taglist:

@madame-fear @cyliarys-starlight @castawaycherry @luceracastro @espinasrubi @lastflowrr @koiibiito @candycanes19 @nperoconelcositoarriba @lxdyred @deepinsideyourbeing

#esteban kukuriczka fic #esteban kukuriczka fanfic #esteban kukuriczka x reader #lsdln cast fanfic #lsdln cast fic #lsdln x reader #lsdln cast #fanfiction #fic #esteban kukuriczka #angsty fic #reblog

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tiredofthehumanlife · 3 days

Text

Wtf is even a muse?

Barbie dolls: regulus black x reader

Words: barely 900

Summary: you always wanted to be the muse not the artist turns out you already were

Warnings: reader is an artist, over usage of the word muse but that's pretty much it

You loved your quiet time with Regulus. Interacting with other people, even in silence, was draining. But not with Regulus. It was different with him. On the walls of the courtyard, sitting in the cutout along the corridor. You liked staring out into the courtyard and watching the breeze. Regulus liked sitting across from you with his knees pulled up and his sketchbook in his lap. You liked spending quiet time with him more than others bc he still interacted with you. Regulus always had some part of himself touching you. His foot tucked under your leg, his calf pressed against your thigh, his knee to yours, whatever you would give him really. It felt like he was still reminding you he appreciated you being there even if you hadn't spoken in hours.

You watched two first years wrestling across the yard. You then noticed another student with a canvas set up, painting away. Sitting in front of them was truly a beautiful student but you were more focused on the fact the artist was painting their muse. You squinted and pressed your lips together.

"You know I actually always wanted to be a muse. Like for an artist." You said as you kept your eyes following the swaying grass. Regulus glanced up from his sketchbook. He paused his drawing to watch you.

"Yeah?" You nodded, turning your head to face him. You gave him a small smile.

"Yeah but I always ended up the artist instead. I don't know I guess I'm just not muse material." You shrugged and looked back at the wrestlers. You didn't really mean it to sound sad. You were just talking really, yammering about bc you hadn't spoken in so long you felt like your throat would close. Regulus heard it though, the small bit out discomfort in your voice.

"I'm sure you're someone's muse." He said as he looked back down at his sketch. Regulus' pencil was scraping against the paper in a rhythmic pattern. If he wasnt talking your ear off, god shut up Regulus, you would've fallen alseep.

"Oh haha." Regulus jerked his head up at you, now just confused.

"I'm being serious." He regretted the words the second he said them. The way you turned your head with a growing grin revealed your plan to him immediately.

"Thought that was your brother." Regulus glared at you as you laughed at your own joke. You complimented yourself, giving a high-five to yourself, before looking back at the first years.

"I was being genuine, though. I'm 100% certain you're someone's muse." Regulus rolled his eyes before looking back at his paper. He was truly just annoyed for show, Regulus would spend his very last breath reassuring you. You shrugged and ignored his presence. You were getting uncomfortable with the vulnerability. The courtyard would never betray you with gross human emotions.

"Actually I know you're someone's muse." Regulus muttered. You rolled your eyes.

"Hey did you ever finish that astronomy assignment?" Regulus glared at you. He raised an eyebrow, telling you he knew exactly what you were doing.

"You're not going to ask? No that's okay I'll just forget we ever talked about this and never give you that information." Regulus said, shrugging as he focused back on his paper. You sighed and dropped your head to the side.

You had found Regulus sitting under a tree, reading his book. So you laid in the sun near him, without a word, and took a nap. Just being around him was relaxing. Soon enough you heard Regulus moving around, you thought he was planning on getting up. You turned your head, to find him pulling out his sketchbook. You rolled your eyes and smiled. Of course that's what he was doing. Regulus asked you what you were laughing at. You shrugged and looked back to him. His cheeks were pink, from the sun, you assumed. Regulus gave you a gentle smile. One that he was fighting, trying to push down his lips again. His pencil started moving against the paper. You smiled at the familiar sound, closing your eyes again.

"Fine. Go on then, who do I muse-ify?" Regulus shook his head at your made up word. He gently set down his pencil next to him. Regulus pulled his sketchbook up before turning it around.

There, over ever inch of the page, was you. Your face was turned to the side, still sitting in the position you were now. Obviously what Regulus was working on now. You were stunned, it was beautiful. His lines and shading and smudges, all his effort to replicate you to his page, was amazing. Regulus gently reached out and turned the page to the one before. You again. You were smiling wide, this one had watercolor. Regulus paid attention to the shirt you wearing, getting particularly meticulous with the pattern. He turned the page again. Shockingly it was you. You were laying down in this one. On your back in the grass. You remembered what this was from.

Regulus showed you more pages, each one a different version of you. You stopped looking at the drawings eventually. Your eyes drifting up to Regulus. He spent so long recreating you, just because he thought you looked like art.

For the first time, Regulus was the artist, you were the muse. You never even knew. Regulus looked up from his art, he found your bright smile staring back at him. He crooked his head to the side, very confused. You moved to sit next to Regulus. You scooted as close to him as you could, your body pressing into his. You pecked his cheek before leaning your head in his shoulder. Regulus turned his head, smiling into your hair.

#regulus black #trans regulus #regulus black x reader #trans reggie #reggie black #regulus x you #regulus x reader #regulus black x #trans regulus black #marauders era #marauders #the marauders #the marauders era #the maraunders map #regulus deserved better

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