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#and posting when i have the energy for it
mr-ribbit · 1 day
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something fascinating to me about egg discourse is how often tme people Also joke about or question their friends potential to be trans, and it's literally never talked about like this.
my cis and tme nb friends routinely joke about celebrities or characters that have big "nonbinary energy" or who otherwise exhibit behavior we would associate with ourselves. i have tme friends and acquaintances who have approached me or my wife and straightforwardly said "something seems trans about you, have I asked for your pronouns recently?"
similar friends have even talked about other still-cis friends in our circle this way, or joked about "when are you going to transition like the rest of us?" or "yeah cis people are a minority in this group, just give it time" or "no wonder you have queer friends with how comfortable with being gnc you are" or etc etc examples like that
even the actual examples of people in my life that I can think of as being the most "invasive" or presumptive about gender have been tme people:
it was my cishet friends who outed me and my wife as trans to everyone at their wedding, including their boomer parents and hundreds of strangers, and called it "the most queer wedding party ever"
it was my tme nb friend who kept saying they could "always tell" her transfem cousin was trans before she came out, and then proceeded to randomly give us extremely personal details about her bottom surgery
it was my transmasc friend who refused to call me and my wife anything other than "little enby beans" after we met and introduced us with our full genders+sexuality labels to every single person one by one at a party
it was my transmasc nb friend who kept insisting my wife could "still be nonbinary" when she was first considering identifying as a trans woman instead, and it was THAT idea that actually slowed her down from making changes to her life that she wanted
it was my cis friends who approached me arm and arm and cornered my outside of a bathroom at a party right after I took a piss to suddenly ask me what my pronouns were because they "heard something" at the party
like, transfems deserve robust support against this trash so a lot of our defensive discourse has ofc been about how it IS okay for transfems to talk about eggs and be jokey about it and non-invasively approach others about being trans
but i swear to god none of these weird people have even stopped to make their discourse ABOUT anyone BUT transfems. it's so clearly targeted!!
no one has EVER approached *me* as a tme nb person and suggested i was pressuring gnc people with my egg jokes. never. nothing even remotely similar. i joke about other people being trans all the time and no one has ever treated me the way you all are treating transfems over this issue.
important note: my examples are all things I recall as being invasive and awkward, and I'm sharing them to make a point about how often rude behavior comes from the same tme people pointing fingers over this. but I still don't think any of them are worth the crucifixion people are treating transfem egg discourse with.
even when my friends were weird to me in the above examples, my reaction was either to confront them about it as friends who I trust to be able to communicate with, or to cut those individuals off after they proved not worth a relationship in the long run. at no time did I desire to make a call-out post or spread rumors about them or publicly declare all of their gender as a screeching menace to society.
my point here is that even when I do think about moments where others crossed a line, acting like this is a "issue trans women have" is blatantly transmisogynistic garbage that only exists to serve the woman-hating machine at the heart of our society. fucking cut it out
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velvetsainz · 17 hours
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summary: [ cs55, cl16, mv1, lh44, fa14, sv5, dr3, mwebber, jb22 x fem!reader ] three major kinks + a couple minor kinks for each driver
word count: 1.8k
content warnings: smut under the cut (minors dni pls!), pwp; i'm not going to tag all of these bc that would take 5ever BUT 1) everything is consensual & in the setting of a happy, healthy relationship & 2) dm me if you are needing any specific tw's/cw's & i'll be happy to share those!
a/n: it's been a hot, hot minute since i've had the energy to write (i was busy surviving my surgery core rotation at a level 1 trauma center & pediatrics at a major children's hospital), but i've been brewing up a lil something for awhile now! i was stalling out on writing the last part of corsica, so i figured i'd at least give you this to get the juices flowing again! i started this blog about six months ago, & i'm nearly at 500 followers & i wanted to take a moment to thank you all! i love you so much and i hope you enjoy this! these are the kinks i think each of these drivers has! what proof do i have, you ask? absolute fuck-all! enjoy, loves! xx
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creampie + breeding kink — he’s a family man & lord knows how badly he wants his own. he’s possessive, too, & this sates both of those desires well for him.  he’s always whispering something in your ear, hand low on your belly about how good you’d look carrying his babies. and once you’re actually pregnant? sweet jesus, he’s never taking his hands off of you.
shower sex — he’s talked a number of times about how he’ll shower multiple times a day, and something tells me he’d never object to a partner. more than once he’s had you against the tiled walls until the water ran cold and your teeth were chattering.  he’d then proceed to take it upon himself to warm you up again, ever the gentleman.
post-workout sex — there’s something about the way you look, out of breath & drenched in sweat that sends all the blood in his body rushing to his cock. you’re trying to push him away, afraid that you’re just too gross, but this man does not give a single fuck.  he adores you in all your sweaty, sticky glory & is on you the second you make it back from your class, peeling you out of your leggings and wrangling your too-tight sports bra over your head.  and it goes the other way as well: his favorite workout cooldown is fucking you senseless; there’s something deeply primal about the exertion of a workout that clouds his head with only thoughts of you, out of breath & on the brink of orgasm.
minor kinks | hair pulling — rough sex — cockwarming — pussy worship — possessiveness — soft dom — teasing — dirty talk
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praise kink — he’s a talker in bed, and that means that he’s telling you just how delicious the tight clutch of your velvet walls feels around his cock. one language is not enough to tell you all the ways you make him feel, how good you are, how badly he’s wanted you. it certainly doesn’t hurt when you reciprocate, but the sounds he’s able to work out of you are often enough for him.
vanilla sex — listen: it’s no secret that this man is a romantic, and there are few things as romantic as good ole vanilla sex. sure, some spice is nice every once in a while, but he doesn’t need it to get his rocks off. he’s too caught up in the romance of it all—the tangle of limbs, skin pressed against skin, stuttering breaths, and stammering hearts—to want anything else.  all he needs is you.
kissing — similar as above, charles is a sucker for romance, and a good makeout sess is just the right thing to get him hot and bothered.  he’s very talented with languages, and his mastery of his tongue doesn’t end with words. *wink wink*
minor kinks | oral sex (giving + receiving) — creampie — cowgirl — bathtub sex — breathplay
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mutually drunk sex — no matter how much he loves a club scene, he’d always find himself back in your arms.  happy, sloppy, messy sex. as much as he loves a g&t, he loves the taste of you more.
wax play — we’ve seen the clips. he likes dripping the wax just as much as he likes being dripped on, and every time you go to light a candle his eyes get that hungry look like he could devour you whole; you’ve learned how to use this to your advantage.
dirty talk + praise kink — as we all know, this man is a certified YAPPER. and, unsurprisingly, that extends to the bedroom, too.  always groaning, grunting, whispering sweet nothings in your ears, there’s very little that leaves him truly speechless; you’ll always know exactly how he feels when you're riding his cock or taking him deep in your throat, whether that’s in dutch, english, or the french he’s been trying to practice. and, given his upbringing, he lives for the praises that fall past your lips; he aims to please, and your sweet words are all the motivation he needs.
minor kinks | restraints (giving + receiving) — spanking — threesomes — nipple play — sensory play
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massage — he takes great pride in his physique, and he thinks every inch of you is perfect.  he loves watching all the tension leave your body. with such limited time in his busy, busy life, he thrives on the time he gets to spend with you; few things can compete with the peace, intimacy, and pleasure that comes from the feeling of your hands working over the tight muscles of his back and legs. and if they happen to wander somewhere else? well, what a happy accident that would be!
fingering — if there’s one thing lewis knows, it’s that a man’s most important tool isn’t the one between his legs.  he loves all the ways in which you unravel for him, your back pressed against his chest with your legs draped over his own to keep them open.  he’ll play with you like that for hours if he could, unlacing your composure until you're boneless and melting into him with every touch. (also, dear god, have you seen his hands? female gaze bait of the highest form.)
the lingerie stays on — there’s a litany of pick-up lines about clothes, etc. looking good on you but better on their floor, and a one mr. hamilton disagrees with that sentiment; we know well how he appreciates fine garments, and he loves them even more when you’re wearing them.  he’s most certainly one to spoil his partner, and if he’s going to buy you that agent provocateur set, you can bet he wants to see you in it.
minor kinks | soft dom — cowgirl — voyeurism — intimacy — dirty talk — shower sex — pillowtalk
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face riding — why do you think he takes so much pride in his neck strength? and even when you’re squirming away from overstimulation, he’s more than able to hold you in place by hooking his toned biceps over your shaking thighs. he’s a menace, but he never leaves a partner wanting for more.
wearing his clothes — okay, this one isn’t original in the slightest because i simply cannot get this blurb by @folkloresthings out of my head.  nando would keel over at the sight of you in his clothes, especially if there was a particular lack of certain undergarments. he’d pull you in by the excess material and have you right there if feasible.
anal sex — all the nando fuckers know that he’s a little freaky—can i get an amen? that being said, his experience goes a long way in helping his partner get the most out of it and making it a pleasurable experience for all parties. he’d take his time working you open, pairing it with leg-shaking orgasms to wash away any doubts in your mind. it’s a new sensation, but a welcome one at that.
minor kinks | swallowing / facials — teasing — spanking — rough sex — sloppy sex — aftercare
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teasing — a tyrant on the track and one in the bedroom as well. or in the car. or at a dinner with a few too many pairs of eyes. regardless, being a tease is his favorite above all else despite his own inability to handle a healthy dose of his own medicine. 
overstimulation — this more or less goes hand-in-hand with his teasing, but he loves the way you beg when you’re coming down from one high and coasting right into another. “just one more, liebling” or “you’ve got another one, don’t you, schatz?” or “i know you can take it, kleiner hase” before making your vision go white as he wrings another orgasm from you.
morning sex — but, above all else, sebastian is a lover, and few things are quite as intimate as slow, fumbling, half-awake morning sex where you’re mumbling praises and communicating in soft, hushed sounds of pleasure. chasing sensations and desires before your mind is even fully awake takes a strong, trusting bond, and he prides himself on this with his partner.
minor kinks | cockwarming — spanking — mutual masturbation — toys — soft restraints (giving + receiving) — creampie / breeding — praise kink — dirty talk
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cowgirl — this man & his mobsession w/ texas—need i say more? how does that saying go, again? “save a horse…”
photos/sextape — daniel3.jpg would like a word.  he’s obsessed with this new medium, and what’s a better way to remember a spicy moment than on film? plus, when you’re traveling 200-plus days a year, you need a way to bring a piece of home with you however you can, whether that’s watching you fall apart while arching your back as he grips your shoulder tight or taking him into the back of your throat as you look up at him through damp lashes or riding his cock or or arching your back as he grips your shoulder tight…you get the picture.
threesomes — considering the way that everyone fawns over him on the grid, this man could so easily work himself into some surprising pairings. his love language is physical touch and he’s not afraid to share it. that, combined with his competitiveness and desire to please, turns into a dangerous desire for him to see you fucked out and overwhelmed by your own need for more.
minor kinks | mirror sex — dirty talk — thigh riding — facefucking — rough sex — hair pulling
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rough sex — aussie grit. there’s nothing else i need to say other than he’s a wild ride.
aftercare — any rough lover worth their prowess, though, knows the importance of aftercare, and mark is no different in that regard.  he takes it very seriously and is always checking in afterward to make sure you enjoyed yourself as much as he did, peppering you in sweet kisses and warm embraces.
pussy worship — we’ve all seen the clip, right? this man knows how to eat pussy and he’s damn good at it. better yet—he loves doing it. you’d practically have to pry him off you from the overstimulation, his tongue, lips, and teeth finding alllll the right ways to make you fall apart.
minor kinks | cockwarming — spanking — possessiveness — massage — swallowing / facials
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exhibitionism + voyeurism — the grid slag. he’s confident about his body and his abilities, and he’s not afraid to share. he’s not overly possessive and an unabashed hedonist to boot, so this pairing works perfectly to get his rocks off (and hopefully yours, too). he’s a little freak, and he’s not afraid to let it show!
spanking — when you’re especially mouthy (frequently to get these exact reactions) and he’s a little bold, jenson is partial to taking you over his knee and seeing how long you can keep up the act before you’re a whimpering mess. frequently this ends with him literally kissing your ass, two fingers buried knuckle deep in your dripping cunt while another toys with your too-sensitive clit.
brattiness — again, like above, he loves when you backtalk or drag your heels on him, making him work for your pleasure and, on some nights, your submission. (though, he’s not afraid to admit how fucking hot he finds it when you take control, using him for your pleasure and taking what you need. all that matters to him is raw, messy, dirty fun.)
minor kinks | threesomes — begging — degradation kink (giving + receiving) — nipple play — oral sex (giving + receiving) — toys
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final note: that's all, folks! now what do you think? let me know! 🤍 as always, you can follow my writing sideblog @velvetsainz-writes​ where i reblog inspo & recs!
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kasagia · 3 days
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Right Hand VI
Pairing: Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!exBeneGesserit! reader Summary: You're tired of listening to others and of being afraid of prophecies that don't make sense and that were made up by someone else. Your present belonged only to you. And hell knows, you're going to take your future too. Warning: 18+; violence; blood; Feyd Rautha; death; smut; I was listening to 'Down Bad' by Taylor and I used quotes from a few of them; TEXT NOT CHECKED - I' barely managed to write it on time' I've just ended it and wanted to post it for you, since you are waiting for it so long; it took me ages but I hope you will like it; Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ PART V ~•♤♤♤•~ Epilogue ~•♤♤♤•~
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Feyd rarely felt pain he didn't like. The years spent on Giedi Prime—or rather, years of enduring his uncle's methods of making him a true Harkonnen, his worthy successor—made Feyd love pain. He found pleasure in it—something he had to learn if he wanted to survive.
But it didn't bring him any satisfaction or pleasure when you pierced his chest with one of his swords. He feels pure pain. Anger, betrayal, and hurt.
He hates the way he falls limply to his knees in front of you. He hates that he still looks at you like you're a saint. He hates that he hopes you'll at least look him in the eyes, as if that would bring him some kind of salvation. He hates how lost he feels now and how he's slowly losing awareness of his surroundings. He hates that even though you stabbed him, all he can do is stare at you, clinging to the sight of you more than to his life.
"This will be the beginning of a wonderful alliance, Lady Y/N."
He feels you unhook your poisoned dagger from his arm. Feyd thinks you're doing it to finish him off. Poetically kill him with the weapon he gave you. He closes his eyes and waits for the final stab or throat slit. But nothing like that happens. He doesn't have the strength to turn around and see exactly what you're doing, but your words alone are enough for him to imagine the scene that is happening behind him.
"I may not be a Harkonnen, but I've picked up a few of their habits. If you want an agreement between us, show me your hand." After your words, he can hear a hiss from Atreides when you plunge the dagger into your joined hands, piercing them both through.
Feyd would have laughed mockingly if he hadn't spent all his energy on breathing slowly. He remembered explaining to you how contracts, such as arranged marriages, were sealed on Giedi Prime. The Harkonnens shook hands and pierced them with swords, thus signing a blood pact. This also applied to marriages and other such things. Blood bound them stronger than any words or signatures on paper. He cursed himself for the fact that, seeing your scared face at his words, he withdrew from this idea and decided to make a verbal agreement between you. He should be the one to bind you with his blood, not Atreides.
The steel in his body rubs against his lower ribs, but it does not damage any major organs. He tries to keep the sword in the exact same position you stuck it in, but he feels like he's going to faint from all the pain, the blood, and the fear for you that he feels now.
You made him so weak that even after you stabbed him, all he could think about was your safety and your well-being. Every shaky breath he took, every slow beat of his heart as he fought to stay conscious—it was all for you.
He just hoped like hell that you weren't lying a few moments ago, that this would all turn out to be just one of your games, and that you would soon end Atreides' life. But it's not like that.
"Let this blood be a symbol of our union." Your sweet, dangerous whisper reaches Feyd's ears.
He's raging with powerlessness and anger. That Atreides dog didn't deserve to mix his blood with yours. Only Feyd should be able to do this. Only his black blood should merge with your crimson, staining your joined hands as you swore allegiance to each other. His heart hurts more than the wound you gave him as he imagine how you and this desert rat are now echanging each other's blood.
If he hadn't been placed in such a vulnerable state by you, he would have ripped Atreides' heart out with his bare hands for daring to mix his blood with yours. A cold shiver runs down his spine at the thought of Atreides connecting with you in yet another way. A way Feyd was robbed too many times.
He tries to get up, but he doesn't have enough strength. All he can do is place his hands on the floor, trying to take the weight off his torso. The blade scratching his flesh bothers him much less than the fact that Atreides has the nerve to touch you or that you're blatantly ignoring him while playing whatever game you're playing right now.
"Leave him to me. I want… to repay him for all these years of fulfilling his wishes." The cool, composed tone of your voice that you used many times when the two of you dealt with inconvenient prisoners did nothing to inspire his hope or quench his rage.
You really betrayed him. You, of all people. How stupid and naive he was to believe you. He should have killed you the moment his eyes met yours. You were an intruder. A spy in disguise. His bittersweet end.
The door slams shut behind Atreides. Feyd hears your footsteps, the sand from your soles falling back onto the ground—the same ground where his black, thick blood is now flowing. You walk over to him; if he could focus enough, he would see the toes of your shoes.
You kneel in front of him, gently tugging on his head, causing him to rest on your shoulder. He can smell your blood dripping from your hand. You stain his head with it. Under any other circumstances, he would have appreciated how close you were to him, but now, with the sword rubbing uncomfortably against his insides, your touch doesn't bring any comfort at all. Even your lips pressed against his forehead cannot calm the volcano of emotions boiling inside him. But he is helpless. He is unable to do anything; he is completely surrendered to your grace. It wouldn't bother him a few hours ago. Now he hated it.
"I'm sorry." You whisper, then use the voice on him to tell him to fall asleep. When he drifts off to sleep at your command, he is already planning how he will take revenge on you. And hell knows you're going to pay him for it.
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"He'll be furious." One of your spies comments as she helps you carry Feyd's body out of the sietch.
Inessa was the only Harkonnen woman you could reasonably trust. She's done your dirty work many times, but... never THIS. You somewhat understood her concerns, but currently, when you both had to carry Feyd through the Fremen corridors and go unnoticed, you didn't necessarily approve of it.
"I am aware." You reply, looking around. Inessa and you somehow patched up Feyd's wound. Now you had to either drag him to the surface yourself and hope that someone would find him in the chaos of the fight or leave him with some of his soldiers.
You didn't like any of these ideas. But you had to do what you planned if you wanted to regain your freedom, even if it meant that Feyd would hate you for it for infinity.
"Fucking angry. I'm serious, Y/N." Inessa warns you again. You roll your eyes at her, for a Harkonnen she was very fearful.
You remember how her hands were shaking a few minutes ago as you both stitched up your new Baron. It was a makeshift dressing and still required treatment by a doctor, but it was enough to get Feyd to the ship and back to base. During this time, you will take care of everything here. You hope that by the time he wakes up, you will have finished what you set out to do. Otherwise, you don't see your future well.
"Just get him out of here." You grumble, turning into a side corridor, and encounter Harkonnen soldiers fighting the Fremen as they kill the last of them, their eyes shifting to the two of you. You nod at them. Without a word, they approach you and take Feyd from you. Inessa looks at you, worried.
"What if he wakes up?"
"You stuffed him with painkillers, and I ordered him to sleep. He won't get up until you're back on the ship." The woman sighs and shakes her head, looking at you intently as you speak.
"Y/N. You've had some… creatively stupid ideas, but this one is the worst of them all. He won't give up. You know it. So why are you doing this?" She asks, taking you off guard for a moment.
She was right. You could have returned to the ship with them, gone back to the safety of Giedi Prime, and let Feyd fight Paul alone. You could have let go and stopped participating in a war that wasn't yours. But at what cost? You've been obeying someone all your life. Bene Gesserit. Prophecies. Feyd. It's finally time for you to deal the cards. And you will do it. In your and Feyd's best interests. You just hoped that he could… forgive you, or see the reasoning behind your actions.
"For myself. For my freedom. For us. This is the only way to end the matter of Atreides, Fremen, and Arrakis. The only effective way."
"Don't you know it yet? You will never be free. We women will never enjoy men's freedom. There will always be someone to whom you must submit. You can't change your fate."
"Then I'd rather die trying." You say, turning on your heel. You don't look back to see her reaction to your words. You had too little time.
The burning sensation on your hand only reminded you of running out of it. The dagger that Feyd gave you must have also had an effect on Atreides. You don't know how advanced he is in Bene Gesserit teachings, so you had to hurry before he detected the poison in his body. Or, God forbid, neutralise it.
You wipe your sweating forehead with the sleeve of your hand as your body begins to fight the poison slowly accumulating in your body. The antidote rested safely in a small syringe hidden in the handle of the dagger you kept strapped to your thigh. You just had to use it when the time was right.
You hope you will get everything done before you die.
You wander through the corridors without knowing where you are. You just have a feeling in the back of your head about where you should go. Besides, the escaping Harkonnens kind of showed you the way into the sietch.
Your hands are shaking as you slowly approach the main room—the one where the Fremen usually gather for large meetings and in case of an attack. Still, you thank Feyd for forcing you to attend the Harkonenn war meetings. At least now you are more familiar with the location of the Fremen's rooms and methods.
The closer you get to the main hall, the more Fremen women push past you, and you feel a little more confident walking through the crowd with them, confident that they are leading you to your place of harm in case of an attack. Even though the Harkonnen were already retreating from the area, some of them were still fighting the Fremen, who craved the blood on their swords and didn't let them just leave. You can only imagine the Feyd's wrath that they will have to face. His men didn't come... fully armed. Apparently it was supposed to be a quick action—get in and out with you, then launch a full attack and invasion.
You know that once he wakes up and heals up a bit, he's going to paint these halls with blood before he burns them to the ground.
Entering the main room, you immediately take a seat by the wall, watching all the Fremen gathering, carefully looking for Atreides among them. He probably had to make sure they "cleared" the halls from the Harkonnens. It makes you sick to think of them bragging about this as a victory over the Harkonnens. It makes you wish you had a little bomb with you...
"Are you already hiding in the shadows?" You shiver when you hear him whisper in your ear. You haven't learned to recognise his steps yet. They were irregular, different, and hard to detect and remember—as if he were constantly moving through the sand like a feather.
"The quicker I adapt, the better, right?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him in challenge. He shakes his head in amusement and watches the Fremen gather with you. It's strange that somehow no one has noticed him yet.
"I'm starting to understand why my cousin kept you so close to him."
"Cousin?" You ask in shock, turning your head towards him so you can look at him. This time he ignores you, not shifting his gaze from the Fremen.
"A little surprise. Maybe we all have a bit of Harkonnen in us after all?" He banters without giving you any of his attention. You snort indignantly, looking at the gathering people again.
"You look tired." You comment, wanting to tease him. You can barely keep yourself from stabbing him with your poisoned dagger a few times. But since he was talking to you so... carelessly, it meant he couldn't detect the poison. Good for you.
"I always am. I will rest when I sit peacefully on the imperial throne."
You would laugh at him if you could. He might easily sit on the emperor's throne, but he wouldn't be able to hold power over all the families for long. Certainly not if you and Feyd had anything to say about it.
Your heart clenches as you remember the moment you stabbed him. You had to. There was no other way to get rid of him long enough for you to take care of everything here. Also, he wouldn't allow you to do that if he knew what you were up to. Besides, if you didn't stab him, Atreides and he would get into a fight. Unfortunately, you weren't that confident in Feyd's abilities. He would be in a state of distraction if your well-being was at stake.
Besides, Atreides' words convinced you of this decision more than anything else.
More than one great king fell under the intrigue of a lesser man.
If there was anything you could praise about Paul Atreides, it was his cunning. And you were sure that if Atreides was somehow going to defeat Feyd, it would be through intrigue and trickery. And then you weren't ready to save your baron. So you had to use drastic measures to get him out and allow yourself to function fully. You couldn't give Atreides any leverage or advantage over you. You certainly couldn't reveal what a weakness Feyd was to you.
"Hmm… you have to survive first." You answered thoughtfully. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him turn his head to look at you. His intense, analysing gaze makes you burn as you have to endure his unwanted attention.
"With such a talented Bene Gesserit as MY right hand? I have not the slightest doubt. You proved your loyalty by killing my cousin. I have no doubt that you are capable of great things. However... this sudden change of sides is shocking, I must admit."
"Why? Because I chose something better for myself? It was the same with Feyd. I could either stay among the Bene Gesserit and hope they wouldn't send me to breed with anyone, or I could take matters into my own hands. And I don't like blindly entrusting my fate to someone else, Atreides."
"I see... you look good with independence, Harkonnen witch, but don't forget who you answer to."
"Of course, Fremen messiah." The nickname you give him makes me chuckle. He reaches up and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. You look carefully at his bandaged hand, which you pierced with a dagger.
You find yourself comparing his hands to Feyd's. Harkonnen's hands were hard, rough, trained from years of using all kinds of weapons. Atrdida's hands were smoother, less stained by effort. Another difference between them was that Feyd would never let anyone bandage the wound you gave him. He would rather wear them proudly until the wound heals itself. You should think it's sick, but years spent by his side have taught you… to appreciate such gestures. Maybe you really had a completely different perception of normality?
Atreides' fingers trace your jaw, caressing it gently. You look into his eyes and immediately see the familiar gleam of audacity in them. He looked at you like you were a prize—a nice thing that he managed to take from his enemy, which he can now put on his bedside table and look at to remember his victory. Under any other circumstances, you would have bitten his fingers off, but unfortunately, you had to behave. But only for a moment longer.
"What do you think you're doing?" An angry, cold female voice echoes behind you. Before you know it, you're being pushed sideways against the wall. A dagger at your throat. You act automatically. You attack a woman, disarm her, and push her against a wall. But before you can put a dagger at her throat yourself, Atreides steps between you.
"What's necessary, Chani. I would suggest you not attack my guest." The woman glares at him, and for a moment, you think she's going to attack him or spit on him. Then her anger shifts to you.
"This Harkonnen witch has killed more of our people than any of them. She should be dead, not taken in as a guest." She growls furiously, giving you a distrustful, mad look. You understand her perfectly. If you were in her place, you would do the same. Only Feyd, unlike Atreides, couldn't stop you from hurting your rival.
"It's not up to you to decide her fate."
Chani gives the two of you one last hateful glare and pushes past Atreides, moving into the crowd, away from the two of you. You look at the woman carefully, analysing her gait and posture. Similar to Atreides. So you found his teacher.
"Your…"
"Concubine." He finishes, thus answering your question. You raise an eyebrow at him in surprise.
"I see."
"Jealous?" This time, you can't help but snort in amusement, giggling at his absurd question.
"I would sonner be jealous of a sandworm than of you. What is bewteen us is just an agreement. Don't forget that, Atreides."
"That's why I like you. Give me a moment. We'll talk later. Don't go anywhere. I will find you."
He puts his hand on your shoulder. You assume he thinks it's a gesture of reassurance, but it's not for you. You anxiously wait for him to move away from you so he can speak to the crowd of Fremen.
You shiver as you briefly make eye contact with Chani, who is standing at the other end of the room. She's still seething with rage. You're not entirely sure why she's so devoted to Atreides, but after thinking about it longer, you realise what her reason is for being so protective over him. You would probably do the same things for Feyd as she did for Paul. However, you would be... more ruthless towards your rival. You wave to the woman, smirking. She looks away from you, focusing her gaze on Atreides.
You study him as well, carefully observing him as he speaks to the Fremen. He is imperious and powerful, but also arrogant and conceited. His overconfidence that he acquired among the Fremen—the belief that he was the chosen one—will lead to his death. You will lead him to death. Otherwise, no one will stand a chance against him. He had one significant thing that could ensure his victory: a huge crowd of people who blindly believed that he would bring them salvation if they obediently followed his every request.
And maybe you would feel sorry for these people and try to help them if your own freedom and future weren't on the line.
You play with the handle of your dagger. You press a small button. A small ampoule with a needle falls into your hand. You hiss, injecting the contents of the ampoule into your arm.
Atreides was right. - You think, listening carefully to the man's speech to the crowd. - More than one great king fell under the intrigue of a lesser man.
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The faint hum of the ship's engine gives Feyd a clear indication of where he is. He opens his eyes and looks around the room. He's in the bedroom of one of Harkonnen's ships. He sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, and looks at his bare chest. He furrows his hairless eyebrows in surprise when he sees no wound or bandage—just a tiny, sealed scar in the area where you pierced him with the sword.
"Where are you going?" Your quiet, protesting whisper makes him freeze. After a while, he feels your warm hands on his shoulders as you pull him back into the soft sheets and into your arms. You cuddle up to him, wrapping your arms around him and burying your head in the crook of his neck. "Stay. We still have a lot of time before we land on Lankiveil, so you can spend it in bed with your wife. I doubt we'll find a moment of peace for ourselves when our little Na-Baron demands swimming lessons from you and a tour around the new planet, so use this little moment of peace."
Feyd's heart skips a beat when he feels your lips brushing on the skin of his neck and hears you calling yourself his wife. He allows himself to drown in the warmth of your body and the feeling of your gentle touch on his skin. He buries his nose in your hair, shuddering slightly as you place small kisses on his neck and lick his skin, teasing him. However, one thing was still bothering him…
"Little Na-Baron?" He asks, confused, when you lazily stroke his head with your fingers, drawing patterns on its pale skin.
"Our son. I pleased you so well last night that you forgot about our son, or are you just not awake yet, darling?" You ask him teasingly, opening your eyes to look at him for the first time.
Feyd is speechless when he sees the spark of malice in your eyes and the beautiful smile you give him. Your beauty, the calmness with which you lie curled on his chest—as if it were the most normal thing you do every day—and the strange warmth that spreads across his chest because of it make him lose his ability to speak.
You giggle, pulling him closer to you and placing a tender, gentle kiss on his lips. You moan, enjoying the feeling of his plush lips, sucking on his bottom lip as you claim him as yours. Feyd feels himself starting to harden just from the feeling of your lips on his and the teasing movements of your fingers around his nipples.
"I…" He tries to speak, but then he hears the baby's soft whimpering. He tenses up, unaccustomed to any interaction with children.
His gaze goes from the cradle placed in the corner of the room to you in pure panic, as he has no idea what to do with the crying baby. But you don't seem to care about the baby crying as much as he does. You groan in protest and pull away from him, burying your face in the pillow.
"Mhm... go to her, it's your turn." You mumble, not giving him a glance, as you hug the pillow instead of him. He starts to be a little jealous, but that feeling fades away, replaced by panic as the baby's cries intensify.
"Now you're letting me go?" He asks, hoping you'll change your mind and take care of the crying demon in the cradle yourself.
"I simply found a better use for you elsewhere." He huffs, leaning towards you and ruffling your hair. You punch him in the chest and force him out of bed. He rolls his eyes at you and turns hesitantly towards the crib.
He feels his legs shaking and his heart beating with nervousness. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen is stressed and nervous by a crying baby in a cradle. He breathes deeply as he stands over the cradle.
His world stops when his eyes meet small irises that are a similar shade of blue to his. And his heart stops when he sees a little copy of you. Your child is undoubtedly a reflection of you. She only has his eyes, but the colour of her skin and hair, the shape of her nose, mouth, and eyes are all you. Feyd's heart pounds as he stares at the small miracle before him. Suddenly, the sounds reach him again. Panicked, he takes the baby gently, making sure not to accidentally hurt her, and in a few quick steps, he is by your side again.
"I… I think it is hungry." He says, reaching out towards you to hand the baby to you as quickly as possible.
"Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, did you just call our daughter it?" You ask angrily, sitting on the bed and looking at him furious. You sigh at his helpless expression and take your daughter from him. "Forgive daddy, Katerina. He doesn't usually behave like this." You mumble sweetly to the baby, trying to calm her down.
Miraculously, because Feyd can't call it anything else, you manage to calm down the baby in your embrace, her little lips pursing in dissatisfaction as she waits for you to feed her. Feyd swears she makes the exact same face you do when you're impatient or angry. His heart melts even more at the image in front of him.
Feyd sits on the edge of the bed, watching in fascination as you feed your baby. This scene seems... unreal to him. He had never experienced anything like this before—the feelings of warmth, safety, and boundless love and devotion that appear in him when he looks at the two of you.
He may have had vague memories of his mother singing bedtime lullabies to him and Rabban, but... he had never felt the way he did with you and your daughter. He had never felt that disarming feeling of home that made him allow himself to become vulnerable for the first time in many years.
He uncertainly reaches towards the child and gently strokes his daughter's head. The colour of her hair is identical to yours. Feyd's lips form involuntarily in a smile when the child reaches her little hand to his fingers, tightening his fist firmly. As she gently moves his hand away from her head, she does not let her grip on his fingers loosen. She was strong for a baby. She certainly had a warrior nature inherited from both of you. Feyd couldn't wait to train her...
He found himself thinking that all he wanted was to curl up in this bed with you and hold you safely in his arms before he would be brutally torn from this beautiful dream or vision.
He sits on the bed, looking at the two of you, when suddenly the bedroom door opens. The thud of small feet on the metal floor echoes around the room, and that's all the warning Feyd gets before the little white-haired boy lunges at him.
"Dad! Dad! We'll be there soon! I can't wait. Uncle Rabban told me that there are huge oceans that can swallow our ships if we land wrong! Is it true?" Asks the child, sitting on his lap and holding him tightly.
Feyd hesitantly wraps his arms around the boy, making sure he doesn't accidentally fall from his lap to the floor. His gaze quickly shifts to you in utter confusion. Rabban as a caring, mischievous uncle? What the hell was that supposed to be?
"Your uncle has a habit of distorting some facts, Feydor. I assure you we'll be fine. And Lankiveil is wonderful, isn't it, honey?" You ask Feyd, resting Katerina on your shoulder and making sure she burps.
"Yes. It is beautiful." He says, unconsciously running a hand through his son's hair as he looks at the three of you, unable to get over the shock and awe.
"I want a hug." Your son demands. You laugh as you pull him closer to you. When you see that Feyd isn't moving to join you all, you grab his hand and gently guide him back to the soft pillows. You lie there curled up, you with Katerina on your chest, Feydor between you and him as you wrap your arms around each other.
His son mutters something to his sister, but Feyd doesn't hear him. All he can do is stare at the three of you in amazement.
"Now sleep. Both of you. I don't want to hear any grumpy complaints about not getting enough sleep, okay, my boys?"
'It only happened once." Feydor mumbles, manoeuvring your and Feyd's hands to hug him tightly. "Besides, Dad was whining worse than me."
"I have no doubt that was the case. Your dad is a terribly fussy and grumpy man." You laugh and lean in to place a quick kiss on Feyd's lips. He strokes your waist, moving closer to you and your son as baby Katerina mumbles something in a language only she knows.
Feyd can only watch tenderly as his little family falls asleep, curled up in each other's arms. And he believes that this is the best possible future that can await him. He doesn't want the throne. He doesn't want to become emperor. He just wants to be able to fall asleep and wake up with you in his arms and your children running around. It's all he dreams about.
The younger Feyd would certainly laugh at him and mock him for such a trivial goal he had set for himself, but what more could he want with the title of baron and you by his side?
He saw perfectly well how the lives of his uncle and emperor turned out and knew the tragic fate of great people in power who decided to devote their entire lives to achieving the greatest possible influence. Feyd didn't want to follow in their footsteps. He wanted you. He realised, with horror, that this was enough for him—the vision or dream he had now was his ideal future.
"I love you." He whispers to your sleeping form before the darkness overwhelms him again.
He wakes up again on the ship, in the same room, and on the same bed. The difference is that your warm body is not pressed against his, and the throbbing pain from his stomach spreads uncomfortably throughout his body.
He groans, sitting on the bed and looking around. His hairless eyebrows wrinkle when he sees one of your spies with him. He automatically grabs the hidden knife and attacks your spy before she notices that he woke up.
"My Lord Baron, I can explain…" The woman says this as he presses the blade against her chest. She stops talking when he cuts off her access to the air by tightening his grip on her neck.
"Where is my right hand?" He growls, sticking to the remains of his control when he refrains from killing her. However, he does not stop himself from making a light cut on your spy's neck. Years of experience have proved that people were more willing to talk after he took some blood from them.
"It really wasn't my idea. She decided so. She knew that you would not let her do what she was planning, so she had to somehow... get rid of you from there, my lord Baron."
"Hm... that sounds like her, but... I would like to hear more about that plan of her. Say something useful and I might even spare your life." Feyd purrs, lazily dragging the blade down her neck to her collarbone, making a small cut.
He preferred not to hurt your toy too much. He didn't know how you would react to the loss of this particular spy. She must have been someone you trusted to entrust him to her.
But that didn't mean that Feyd couldn't land his anger at you on her for leaving him behind and completely unaware of your actions.
"Long ago, the Bene Gesserit had only one reverend mother. Their order was small then, but it was developing well. A certain ritual was invented to ensure that the most powerful of them was in power. It… is about the struggle of life forces. I don't know exactly how it's done, but… lady Y/N said that they both have to die for one of them to survive. She… she knew you wouldn't let her, so she had to make you leave that rat's nest so she could get the job done." A cold shiver runs down Feyd's spine. He needs a moment to compose himself and process your spy's words before he speaks again.
"They both have to die? What do you mean?" He asks, unconsciously tightening his already painful grip on the woman. His hand, the one holding the dagger, trembles slightly as he impatiently stares at her, waiting for an answer.
"I... they have to... they... their hearts stop beating and... the one who is stronger and has more life energy takes over the other's powers and survives."
"So... she may lose and die?" Fed sees your spy swallowing heavily after hearing his question. Thanks to this, he already knows the answer to it.
Strangely, instead of the huge, red fury and bloodlust, everything he feels is fear. Since he arrived at Giedi Prime, he has never felt fear. His uncle made sure that this emotion did not prevent him from reaching the ideal that his uncle demanded from Feyd. But at this point, when the vision of your dead body appears before his eyes, Feyd feels almost paralysed by fear of your life.
"There is... a little possibilty, my lord Baron."
This information is enough for him to make a decision. He stabs your spy in the stomach and allows her to sit on a bed. He reaches the exit in a few steps and opens the door with a bang. A doctor and two soldiers are waiting in the corridor. They look at him with fear in their eyes when he comes out, covered in blood. Before they can speak and probably inform him about his state of health, Fed is already growling at them and giving orders.
"Heal her and bandage her. She was only fulfilling my fiancee's orders." Fed tells the doctor. He is pleased with the surprise he sees on your spy's face. He intends to enjoy informing everyone about his 'engagement' with you. If you could have your plans, he could have some of his too. "Tell the pilot to turn back. And call more ours. We will burn these rats' nests to the ground."
With this promise, he leaves the room, ignoring the pain in his trunk. He must have found you before Fremen left with you for another hideout. He had to be fast and precise if he wanted to have you safe by his side. Maybe he should also ask the doctor for a sedative. Just in case you were stubborn enough to fight him instead of cooperating with him.
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"What do you think?" Atreides' question catches you off guard for a moment. You stop watching the Fremen as they prepare to leave the sietch and shift your gaze to Atreides, raising an eyebrow in question. "About them. About my speech there."
"Are you looking for praise?" You mock, taking a closer look at what exactly he's putting into his bundle.
"I'm looking for a second opinion. Objective. Analytical and thorough." He replies, tying the fabric as he waits for your response.
"They will do whatever you want. Isn't that enough for you?" You ask, licking your lips as you choose your words carefully. You can see beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Paul wipes them away with his hand, not yet aware of the poison that courses through his veins.
You wanted to make sure as much as you could that when the moment came to defeat him and take his life force, there would be no shadow of a doubt that you would emerge victorious from the duel between you. After he went through the Reverend Mothers ceremony, you could try to perform the old ritual of reclaiming power between you two. This hasn't been done for centuries. So you hoped that everything you remembered from the old scrolls was true and that Atreides wouldn't surprise you with anything.
Even if he was a Kwisatz Haderach, you're still going to defeat him. No one and nothing will decide your fate.
"For now, yes. But in the future, I will need their full devotion. After all, I won't be the one to rule them on Arrakis." You raise your eyebrows questioningly, curious as to what his big plan for the future might be.
"Who do you want to entrust them to?"
Silence falls between you as you both look at each other intently. You know he's judging you, wondering how much he can tell you and how much he can hide from you. And you have to be convincing enough to gain even a little bit of trust from him. You know that stabbing Feyd helped you a lot with that. No matter how much it hurt you to do it.
"To be honest, you have the best skills to serve as Governor of Arrakis. The only question is, will you be equally faithful to me?"
"Me? Why?"
"They're already afraid of you. Besides, I saw your power—you're quite a powerful Bene Gesserit. Even if you don't like being called that, you can't cheat or change your destiny, no matter what."
"But... it is not all about power and fate, though is it?" You ask, slowly approaching him. "It is... something more there. Much more than we know." You whisper, looking at him with your most captivating gaze. Feyd would have killed him and tortured you if he saw you flirting with someone else... but luckily he wasn't here. And you had to somehow lower Atreides' guard.
"Indeed." He mumbles back and takes a step towards you. His fingers gently caress your jaw, tracing it until his fingertips brush against your lips. "My mother told me legends about the birth of the most powerful of the Bene Gesserit. A woman who could bring thousands to their knees with a wave of her finger, tamed the most bloodthirsty of all beasts. Stilgar... has suspicions that you may be the mother of the one, the one to come. Of course, this conflicts with his perception of me as the chosen one."
He spoke the truth. You were the most powerful of the Bene Gesserit. But not because you were born according to their program. You simply had potential, and they had way too much time and no obstacles to train you differently. You were supposed to be their perfect pawn in their game, to provide them with the Kwisatz Haderach. And now… you will kill the one who was supposed to be him.
"Even so, you don't lose power. They still listen to you. More than anyone else." You say, shifting your gaze from his eyes to his lips. He licks them, holding your jaw tightly as he leans slightly towards you.
"I may be my father's son, but I'm not going to make the same mistakes. You know, it is much safer to be feared than loved because... love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails."
"The prince Machiavelli." You say, knowing a quote from the book. You're a little surprised that he would read something like that. He also seems amazed that you know what book he took these words from.
"Indeed. Hmm... Maybe you're not that cruel and bloodthirsty Harkonnen witch people think you are. After all, you're a bit educated." Under any other circumstances, you would have kicked him in... his tender place for this. But now you have to smile sweetly, comforting yourself only with the thought that he will soon die at your hands.
"Believe me, Atreides. I am everything they talk about and more." You mumble before leaning in to connect your lips in a kiss.
Kissing him is… different from kissing Feyd. Less intense, less hot, and less passionate. With him, you don't feel that familiar thrill of excitement you feel every time Feyd literally devours you. This kiss is... too polite. There's not an ounce of desire in him, at least not on your part. You try to be persuasive, though, caressing his lips, but it's not the same plush softness of Feyd's lips. Your mind refuses to be fooled, and you realise with horror how deeply your new Baron has managed to get under your skin when you haven't been able to enjoy the kiss of any other man.
Atreides reaches for your hips, pulling you closer to him as he deepens the kiss, moaning into your mouth. At least he was the only one having fun out of the two of you. You place your hands on his shoulders, slowly pulling your hidden dagger from your sleeve as you let the man kiss you and explore your body with his hands.
You almost sigh with relief when his lips finally leave yours. He moves to kiss your neck, and you decide that this is the moment to start the ritual.
"Stay still. Don't move or speak." You use the voice on him. He stiffens in an instant, his eyes widening slightly as the steel of your poisoned blade presses against his neck. "You were right. It's better to make them afraid of you than to love you."
Out of the corner of your eye, you see him grab his hidden knife. But before he can stab you, you place your hands on his temples and recite the old formula, beginning the ritual. You feel yourself slowly starting to lose strength. You both kneel to the floor, life draining from the two of you.
It has begun. - you think as darkness takes over you.
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This... is different from what you expected. Nowhere is it written what happens after the connection between the brains of the Bene Gesserit combatants is made. Or what kind of test are the two of you being put through to find out which one of you is stronger. You thought you and Atreides would stand in some imaginary arena and fight until one of you killed the other.
At least you would prefer this to the burning pain that overwhelmed you. You feel like you're immersed in pure, wild fire. All your nerves were burning. You felt your body, but at the same time, you were far from it. And all you could see and hear was blackness, screams, whispers, and songs in a language foreign to you. You feel like you've gone mad. Any pain you've felt doesn't compare to what you're going through right now.
You feel every cell in your body tear apart, and at the same time you remain in a void, unaware of anything except the feeling of pain.
But you endure it.
And suddenly, everything disappears. For a moment, you feel or hear nothing. It's just you and your consciousness as you anxiously await the turn of events.
Then various images begin to appear before your eyes—visions of the future and the past. You see every possible course of events that could occur and every single scenario that may happen. In some visions, both you and Feyd die; in others, it's just him or you; and in others, you both live to old age together. One element is constant. Only one. And you shudder every time you see the familiar figure of your future son ascending the throne as the Emperor and taking care of the entire world, restoring balance and peace.
All of Atreides' power has passed onto you. You knew everything. All possible futures. And they scared you more than you thought they would. And you feel completely different than you thought you would...
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After some time and tens of thousands of visions, you return to your body. You begin to feel everything around you—the soft sheets beneath you, the softness of the pillow beneath your head, and the quiet beeping of the machines keeping you alive.
You struggle to open your eyes, hissing as the light hits your eyes. You look around, expecting to find a familiar hospital room, but instead you find yourself in Feyd's chambers. On fucking Giedi Prime.
"Welcome among the living." Feyd's hoarse voice reaches your ears. You turn your head towards him—too quickly, making you feel a little dizzy—but you open your mouth to speak anyway.
You have a terrible coughing fit, and your throat is drier than it has ever been on Arrakis. As you curl up on Feyd's bed, coughing up your lungs, you see him quickly fill a glass of water from the corner of your eye. He sits next to you, pulling you against his chest. You lean your back against him and drink the water greedily.
Feyd gently strokes your back, watching carefully as you drink the water. His gaze is watchful and attentive as he makes sure you drink the last drop from your glass.
When you finish, he takes your glass and walks over to the table to set it down. A cold shiver runs through you as you feel the absence of his presence. You remember how the last time you saw him, he was unconscious and injured. Because of you.
"I was more expecting to be chained to a wall in a prison cell. Or to have your harpies hovering over me and waiting for you to cut me up for them." You say jokingly, teasing him. But he doesn't laugh. You see him tense at your words before he slowly turns to face you.
"I had such an idea in my mind a month ago, when I found you pale as death in the arms of the equally dead Atreides. But I guess enough time has passed for me to get over it… or I just killed enough Fremen and doctors and Bene Gesserit women who couldn't bring you back to calm myself down."
"Month?" You ask, swallowing thickly as you bravely endure his stern glare.
"Mhmm… a month, two weeks and five days to be precise. This whole time, you were either losing your pulse or screaming until your throat was torn. Also, you had a fever that we barely managed to break down, and you were pronounced dead a few times, but who cares, right?" He asks casually, but you can clearly see the rage bubbling inside him despite his obvious concern for you.
"Oh… that's… a while."
"A little bit more than a while." He growls at you, playing with his dagger—the exact same one he gave you. You shudder as you see how much the blade has bent from the blood of the people you used it on.
"What about Atreides?" You ask, confused, wondering if it was really a good idea to bring this up now. Especially since he is playing with a poisoned dagger in his hands. And you used up the antidote to it (apparently) a month ago.
"I have his head. Do you want it on a silver platter, or should I just frame his tongue and hang it on the wall? Maybe right next to yours for being a liar and a traitor?" He asks furiously. But that's not what scares you the most. He's calm. Too calm and composed. And this was often how his anger manifested itself before he killed his victims.
"I... you know perfectly well that I had to do it. If I had done it differently, his... skills would have been lost. And I... now I see everything. I can prevent everything, I can make everything fine. Isn't that a big advantage for you? Have an oracle next to you?" You ask, slightly nervous about what he's going to do next.
"Depends on what this oracle wants to show me and what it doesn't want to show me. But since you know everything and the entire future, you probably know what I will do now." He says and heads towards the exit.
Your heart clenches, and you feel an inexplicable panic as you see him walk away from you. You can't stand how cold he was towards you. You have to do something. You can't just let him go.
"Feyd." You call after him and get out of bed to follow him. When you're on your legs, you lose your balance, and you would have fallen to the floor if Feyd hadn't caught you in his arms.
You dig your fingers into his shoulders, holding onto him as you breathe quickly. You look at each other for a moment, allowing yourself to immerse yourself in the closeness of the other one.
Feyd places his hand under your knees and picks you up in bridal style. He puts you on his bed again and pulls away to leave. You grab his elbow tightly and hold on, forcing him to stay by your side as you give him a desperate, pleading look for him not to leave you.
Feyd sighs, sitting next to you on the bed. He leans towards you and rests his forehead against yours. He closes his eyes, brushing his nose against yours. And you feel really calm for the first time in years.
"You have no idea... I have killed men for smaller things than that. The only reason you're still alive... is because I prefer to destroy you myself. Without the help of any sick rituals or poison. You'll be begging me to kill you, little witch. I'll make you go through the same damn pain you put me through. You'll be begging me to stop making you scream. Oh, and I'll make you scream much louder than becasue of this stupid ancient ritual."
You know he's mad at you. And he has every right to do so. But you can't take his words seriously. Not when you have irrefutable proof of the depth of his feelings for you. As he said, he killed for less. If he wanted to, he would have gotten rid of you or hurt you by now. But he didn't.
"I'll happily scream because of you, my Baron." You reply, placing your hands on his cheeks. You stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs, trying to memorise every little bit of his skin.
"I… I'm serious." He growls at you. He places his hand on your neck and squeezes it gently. You smile and press a kiss just near the corner of his mouth.
"Me too. Do it. Show me how loud you want me to scream for you." You challenge him, placing small kisses on his face.
"Y/N... I should have killed you ages ago, woman. You poisoned my mind, you stabbed me with a sword, you left me alone to deal with the mess you made, you forced me to worry about you while you slowly died in front of me day by day, and I couldn't do any-fucking-thing. So tell me, how can I get past this? Why is it that all I want to do is fuck you until I feel like you're really alive and around me?"
You bite your lip, trying not to moan at his words. You lick your lips and lean towards him, kissing him. He moans into your mouth and tries to pull away from you, but you grab his neck and pull him towards you. Your heart speeds up as your lips caress his as you give all of yourself to him in that kiss.
You gently massage his scalp and lie down on the pillows. You pull him with you as he starts to kiss you back. You moan into his mouth, wrapping your legs around his hips. He pulls away from you with a growl and presses his forehead against yours, trying to calm down for your sake. After all, you had just woken up... too bad his cock wasn't as sympathetic to you as you rubbed against him.
"I… my mother was a Harkonnen, you know? Maybe that's why I was so drawn to you. Like calls to like or something like that." You gasp, remembering the memory you saw. Feyd furrows his hairless eyebrows in surprise. A shiver runs across his skin, realising the power you've taken from Atreides.
"What else do you know?" He asks, caressing your cheek. You turn your head and press a kiss on the palm of his hand. You surprise him even more, but he's not going to protest when you show him affection. This was very rare in his life, and the fact that this small, voluntary gesture of adoration was coming from you made him even harder.
"That I don't want to lose you for some visions that may or may not happen. That you love me and that these months have been torture for you. That you hated me as much as you needed me to come back to you. That I… only want to think about us. I only care about our future, and I'm willing to watch this world burn if it means I can hold your hand until the end. with no fear that fate will make us hate each other. That I want you to be the only prophecy I care about."
"What about your escape from fate? You never wanted… to be part of this Kwisatz Haderach thing. Will you run away from me when you see that the path we are following leads inevitably to what you were so afraid of?"
His doubts are absolutely right. But that doesn't change the fact that you need him close to you right now. That you need his reassurance that everything will be fine, not his resentment. And you know it was wrong of you to demand from him things like that, but... nothing about your relationship was healthy anyway.
"Fuck it if I can't have us. Fuck it if I can't have you." You say and pull him in for another kiss. He moans in shock into your mouth but quickly responds to you with equal passion. You gasp as he grabs your waist tightly and lifts you up, making you sit on his lap.
"You said you love me." He gasps as he slowly removes your nightgown that he dressed you in himself.
"I did... I also stab you." You say as your hands reach up to start undressing him as well.
"You did. And you killed Atreides." He purrs against your jaw, placing kisses and hickeys there.
"I did." You groan, your hands shaking as you try to get rid of his clothes as quickly as possible.
"You handed me over to our people."
"I did. You are quite heavy." You giggle as he blows on your neck, tickling you, before sinking his teeth into it. You dig your fingers into his back, pulling him close to you.
"Why did you do this?" He asks, pulling away from you to look at you carefully, gauging your reaction, making sure you were always on his side, and doing everything for your mutual good. For his good.
"Because I decide about my fate. Not Bene Gesserit, not any Atreides, not you or anyone. Only me. And I want you. And love you. And need you. But only as my equal... and if you will have me."
"I won't let you go anymore." He warns, laying you down on the bed and towering over you.
"I will never want to leave." You promise, looking into his icy blue eyes and stroking the scar on his lower stomach—from the wound you gave him.
"Good."
"Good."
"Say it again."
"Good?" You ask teasingly, pressing kisses to his neck and giving him a few hickeys, marking him as yours with more than just his scars.
"No. You know what."
"I love you."
"About damn time." He growls, devouring your mouth. You moan as he bites into your lower lip. You both don't hold back anymore. Feyd marks you like a map, as if he wanted to memorise all the sensitive places that made you moan and writhe in pleasure, pressing into his muscled body.
You forget for a moment the whole world, everything you've done for him, everything you both should have discussed—all you can think about is Feyd. About wanting to be closer to him, about needing him as desperately as he needs you. So how can Feyd resist you when you're so willing to take him in? When he had dreamed of this moment for years? When can he finally satisfy his desire for your body?
He trails his kisses lower, gently taking your nipple into his mouth and cupping your other breast, massaging it. You moan, scratching his scalp, throwing your head back against the pillows, and grinding your hips against his.
You're both starting to get annoyed by the underwear that's preventing you from clinging to each other the way you want. Feyd rips your panties off of you, wasting no time in pushing his fingers into you. You whine, thrashing around on the bed, wanting more and yet too sensitive for anything else. You open your eyes and gasp at the sight of his full, erect length rubbing against your thigh. Feyd pinches your nipple, making you moan and shifting your gaze to him.
"Eyes on me, little witch."
"But... ach!" You moan as his fingers speed up inside you, tears forming in your eyes as your hips move in time with the rhythm of his fingers as you chase your orgasm.
"Listen to your Baron. Eyes on me." He pauses to slap your pussy. You moan, biting your lower lip. "And don't hold back any sounds. Or I'll punish you like I should have since you woke up."
It's very hard to keep your eyes open for him. Especially when his fingers massage your clit so perfectly and fill you up. You reach your hand to his hard cock on your thigh and rub it gently.
He growls, kissing you hard and punishingly, as you try to speed things up and make him lunge at you in a frenzy of lust, when he wants to tease your pussy and punish you accordingly first.
For a month he waited by your bedside, bravely holding you through the stages of your screams and high fevers, making sure you were alive, breathing, and your heart was beating in a rhythm he had memorized. He deserves to have some fun with you...
"Feyd... please..." Your moans, the kisses you place on his jaw, and the way your fingers caress the scar on his muscled stomach—the one you gave him yourself—make him lose his restraint, which was already frail and weak. At least that's how he explains his desire to immediately fulfill your wish.
His arms wrap around you tightly as he gently pushes into you, making sure his entire alabaster length will fit inside you. He stops, cursing in his tongue and resting his forehead against yours as he gives you a moment to adjust to his length. Finally. He finally feels you all around him. And you're tighter than he dreamed.
"Damn… you little witch…"
"I know..." You gasp, wrapping your arms around him, and kiss him hungrily, basking in the feeling of fullness as his length perfectly fills the void inside you. It's warm. It's nice to feel him so close to you. It's nice to be with him. You moan as he starts to move slowly, testing how far he can go.
Feyd growls, picking up his pace when you don't protest, his hips bucking wildly against yours, and you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer.
He grips one of your hips and cups your cheek with the other, making sure your eyes are focused on him. He kisses away the tears streaming down your cheek, licking them off your face. He kisses you fervently and hungrily, catching every moan and grunt you make as his hips grind against yours. A wet sound echoes through the room, occasionally interrupted by a moan from either of you as you finally come together in the most primal, animalistic way, demanding each other.
"Mine. Only mine." Feyd growls into your neck; his thrusts are faster and more precise, making you bite your lip to hold back your moans, but he doesn't let you do it for long. He wants to feel and hear all of you. He wants to revel in his victory. That's why he kisses you, biting your buttom lip to the blood. He pulls away and leans his forehead on yours as he listens to the little sounds you make as he fucks the brain out of you. "Can you feel how deep I am? How well am I filling you? You will be a beautiful Baroness. Fuck. My future wife. The mother of my children." He moans in your ear. You don't answer; you take ragged breaths, listening to the squelch of your joined bodies echoing around his chambers.
"You were meant for me. Just like I was for you. I will never let you escape again, I will never again let you out of my sight for more than a second, I will never again let you fight against the world and fate alone. We are the two sides of the same coin... WE. ARE. UNITY." He growls, making one last few hard pushes into you, making you both cum. He captures your lips in a kiss, muffling both of your screams as you fall apart around him, feeling his warm seed flood your womb.
You shake, wrapping your arms around him tightly, trusting him to hold the weight of both of you as you see nothing but white light in your orgasmic haze. You can't feel your legs, but you know you're still clenching them tightly around him. Your mind is empty; you feel amazing, electric bliss.
And for that moment you knew what cosmic love really meant. And you would fight with anyone to be able to experience it whenever you wanted.
"I love you." Feyd whispers, pressing a kiss to your temple and tightening his grip around you.
He slowly pulls out of you and collapses next to you, still holding you in the iron grip of his arms. You lazily snuggle into him and trace the scar you gave him with the fingertip of your finger. Guilt grows within you, and for a moment, you think that he purposely allowed this scar to remind you of what you did.
You decide to talk to him about everything tomorrow. It was just the two of you for now, and you were going to enjoy this as long as you could. You place your head into the crook of his neck and take his hand in yours. You tangle his other hand in your hair and snuggle into him, sighing as you feel his touch, warmth, and scent around you.
You both fall asleep cuddled together. And for a moment, you allow yourself to be in bliss of his touch and closeness, not worrying about any politics or issues that you should discuss instead of... giving in to something you have wanted for a long time.
From now on, you decide your fate.
Only you and Feyd.
That's why you make sure that your first child will be a daughter.
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Taglist: (I REALLLLY hope that everyone who wanted to be here is here...😅 I;m sorry if I missed someone <3) @skymoonandstardust @prettybubblesintheair @thegabbyh @himesuedi @wo-ming-bai @beebeechaos @mamawiggers1980 @moonsoulk @avidreader73 @heartarianagran @dreamlandcreations @ancientbeing10 @lovereadingfanfic @jeansjoie @workof-a-rr-t @aixicl @ladyredstar1991 @evangelineimagine @hobobobo-fett56 @happyant3 @marsflys @aaaaaamond @kamcrazy123 @k1swass @yum-yahgurt @tyns13 @oh-you-mean-me @menari @tyns13 @vaf24 @dacreshoney @emrennoll-blog @tian-monique @slightlypossessed @celestialadrift @lauramooij05 @flaps200 @chixnugg22 @aaaaaamond @marvelfangirl04 @sw33tsnow @emeraldsgirl @imyourbubblegumpop @tempt-ress @harkonnin @k1swass @alana4610 @cloudroomblog @lotus-888 @lowlyloved @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @w3ird11 @kythefangirl25 @hobobobo-fett56 @nj452896 @oneandonlybbygrl @noirecatt @iloved1lfs0 @mamawiggers1980 @lololfixu @barnes70stark @obsessedvibee @aaaaaamond @workof-a-rr-t  @oneandonlybbygrl @alexa4040 @lowlyloved @toertchen @em-100 @caintheking @justarandomflowerchildofthenight @hrtifyeren
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honeytonedhottie · 3 days
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maintaining/creating a social life⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
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ok so i used to have HORRIBLE social anxiety and i think that the contrast between me with social anxiety and me now is INSANE. in a good way ofc. so im not going to talk about how i overcame social anxiety, instead im going to talk about how i created a social life ✨
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MAKING FRIENDS ;
the science of making friends is simple and im about to explain it. so go to where there are ppl that u can relate to/want to relate to. example being school, clubs, etc.
next, observe who u want to befriend and make sure to start with a compliment. starting off by introducing urself just makes for an awkward conversation but starting with a compliment puts u and the other party at ease.
something thats rly important is ur CHARISMA and ur magnetic energy so be CHARMING ✨ if u find that the other party is not reciprocating its either they're uncomfy, uninterested, or just a weirdo. and in all cases, you should stop.
MAKING FRIENDS THRU FRIENDS ;
make friends with your friends friends -> make friends with their friends -> and so on and so forth. this is how you network and create a friendly status with lots of people.
if ur in a school setting like i am, make friends with people in ur own grade or in a higher up grade, i dont usually make friends with ppl in lower grades but ofc there are always exceptions.
making friends through friends is how u get invited to parties, have more opportunities be available to you, and ofc network for more connections. guys connections are literally EVERYTHING.
MAKE TIME FOR UR FRIENDS ;
make sure to learn who u call friends. when is their birthday? do they have specific preferences? what kind of music do they listen to? knowing ur friends makes them feel special and thats how u learn to be a good friend. i can make a whole POST about being a good friend cuz i've learned and grown so much with that.
THE POWER OF A COMPLIMENT ;
make it ur mission to give a compliment everyday cuz first off, being nice is HOT so pls be nice and second of all, if ur trying to talk to someone and u start with a compliment i promise that it'll go so much better.
if ur thinking "thats so awkward how will i do that" then the category dont be shy is one that u gotta read cuz girl 💀. if u need an example i'll provide one from my own experience so u can see the power of a compliment.
there was this girl in my spanish class and i always thought that she was so pretty and she seemed so nice. one day we bump into each other in the bathroom and i compliment her hair and makeup, she responds well. we continue to have friendly interactions throughout the rest of the school year and now we are good friends on and off campus.
DONT BE SHY ;
when u make friends please please PLEASE work on ur confidence first. you need to be SURE of yourself. if not, when ur being friendly it could come off as desperation and ppl will humiliate, make fun of and take advantage of u. and thats NOT hot.
be CONFIDENT, you literally have nothing to lose. when u shed ur shyness (thru things like exposure therapy etc) a whole new world is opened up for u bcuz sometimes the only thing holding u back is urself and ur limiting beliefs about urself.
MAKE UR PERSONALITY SHINE ;
make sure that know ur own personality and from knowing that u can find ways in which u can make it shine. no matter what ur personality is though, something that i cannot stress enough is BE NICE.
be friendly and amicable with everyone and stay out of drama and if drama comes to you then stay unbothered 😭. dont try and uproot ur own personality to copy someone else's.
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scarybabe · 2 days
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God the fact that every time you post it looks like someone morphed your belly to be even bigger is never not going to be amazing to me. The sheer amount of weight you've gained that has went to bulging out that gut, widening them thunder thighs, fattened up all your chins, and gave you such a perfect jiggly bubbler butt i couldn't imagine what you'd look like or how much sexier you'd be if you were bigger or pregnant. In my opinion you are the face and body of what feedees should be, a true feedee goddess
this is so fucking HOT 🥵
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feel free to compare - I was biggest when I hit 300, idk what I weigh now but my belly, butt and boobs seem to have decreased the least compared to my peripheral weight (face, arms, legs) lol.
i can think of other creators who are far more exemplary than me 😅 but I stuck to my gains for over 3.5 years without any breaks and achieved all the goals I made for myself so i feel proud of that and satisfied 🥰.
eventually i may just identify as a stuffer again because i am not actively gaining anymore, I guess it depends on whether you recognize feedism as a fetish that describes your turn ons/desires with or without substantial weight gain. i know whenever I do my BBL next year i will try to gain a bit while i am healing to fluff it out and get the best results 💕 my ass is already perfect but it can always be fatter 😋 if pregnancy made me gain weight that would be hot too! I think getting stronger will help me maximize the time frame i can make pregnant content because I’ll have more energy to work.
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smoft-demons · 3 days
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Hey, I've been reading your post for a while now andi absolutely love them. Before I got into OM I was already a big D&D person and love fantesty-romance novels. Although, that's besides the point. I was genuinely scared to ask this until I saw your headcanons, there so wholesome<3
But I was wondering if you could do a brothers + the others react to MC getting there period? I was planning on doing it on my own page but I'm a bit scared to publish my own stuff. Although, thank you if you do.
-H.M
Yeah, sure! As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I love writing all the comfort and fluff prompts. It’s like catnip to me lmao
This is gonna be pretty long, so I’m only gonna do the brothers.
Thanks for requesting!! I hope you like it :)
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MC is on their period
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You’ve been living in the House of Lamentation for a while now. You are, at this point, thoroughly and inextricably part of the family.
As a member of their family, your demons have no problem with helping you out. They can’t help but fawn over you a bit, as well—this wasn’t a familiar problem to them before meeting you, as none of them menstruate. Plus, any human condition of yours that highlights vulnerability and pain on your part makes them all get a tad protective.
In any case, they make sure to be helpful!
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Lucifer: responsibility -> rest
With your permission, Lucifer notes your cycle on the calendar he keeps on the kitchen wall. Tactfully, of course. It’s just a little red X in the corner of the box that marks the day you start until the day it ends. It ensures no one in the house forgets to be extra nice to you on those days. Plus, it serves as a way to remind you, in case it sneaks up on you.
In the week leading up to it, he checks up on your stock of human world products (and devildom ones too) for it. Painkillers, chocolate, tea, hygiene products, a heating pad, everything. If you’re running low, he will either take you to get more or take care of it himself, depending on how you’re feeling.
If you’re irregular, he takes extra care with tracking your cycle. Having records is important!
He takes you off the chore rotation while you’re bleeding. He wants you to rest. He will not make you expend your energy on chores while you’re in pain.
If you WANT to take some chores though, he understands and will let you, as long as you don’t make yourself suffer unnecessarily. He understands that some people cope worse with stress, illness, and/or pain when their routine is interrupted and they have no task to distract themself with. He would know! He’s one of them! So if you are too, he won’t force you to give up your tasks.
He does very strictly instruct you not to push yourself, however. You are to let him know immediately if you need to stop, so he or one of his brothers can help you out.
If you want somewhere quiet to hide, he’s got you. His study is a great spot for that! He won’t let anyone else in.
His room is another great spot for that, if you want a softer surface and dimmer lighting. You’re allowed to be in there without him if that ends up working out best (and he hopes you understand the level of trust in you he’s displaying by allowing that), but he has no problem with bringing his work out of the study and into his room if you want his company.
If he’s not on a time crunch, he won’t bother bringing any work with him though. Unless he has reason to expect you to feel guilty for taking up his time, in which case he will bring some and finish it in the room with you and then tell you he’s done for the day.
You end up lying on his bed with him, contorted in whatever weird position makes your cramps hurt the least. It’s the middle of the day, but for once Lucifer doesn’t seem to mind. He’s just lying next to you with his hand splayed over your uterus or lower back, applying light pressure and warmth to help the pain go away. Quietly talking to you about stuff that doesn’t matter.
There’s no concern for productivity. Nor for terrorizing his brothers into order. It seems the key for making Lucifer take a day to just relax is to request his company while you’re in pain.
See, Lucifer’s driving force is how much he loves his family. He will go to ANY lengths to keep them safe and happy. It’s his main priority. You’re part of his family now. You’re the youngest, even… and you’re in pain. So, he’s okay with pushing off the work Diavolo gives him for a day. For you, it’s worth it.
There’s no paperwork in any realm that he would prioritize over comforting you when you’re in pain. He hopes you feel all the love in that sentiment.
You know how huge a declaration that action is, because there is NO other way to get Lucifer to voluntarily lie around in the middle of the day.
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Mammon: devotion -> generosity
Mammon was the first one you went to for help during your very first period in the Devildom.
After a short, frantic conversation about what happened to you, why, and how you normally deal with this, he set you up in his room with some towels, a spare set of his own comfortably worn in clothes, and a movie as he rushed out to find some Devildom substitute for the hygiene products you’re used to. Just, SOMETHING to absorb the blood in the meantime before he can get you products from the human world!
He would have gone to the human world immediately, but he’s not allowed and he doesn’t have time to talk Lucifer into letting him up there yet!! You have NOTHING to work with right now, he’s gotta figure something out ASAP!
He didn’t even think about the amount of money he’s willing to spend, or how else he could be using it. He may not have been willing to tell you how much he cares for you at that point, but he has always come through for you when it matters. Even in the early days.
You find yourself contemplating Mammon’s contrasting demeanour while he’s out. This isn’t the first demonstration of his responsible mode that you’ve seen. It’s fascinating, the way he acts so careless and tsundere until someone needs him—at which point he drops that image like it’s nothing, revealing the softhearted and protective big brother he really is.
In those moments, you can see in his personality that he helped raise 5 little brothers (and one Lilith, though you don’t learn about her until later) and is actually pretty damn good at it. It’s clear that he loves you more than he’s willing to admit in those rare moments, when showing it genuinely matters.
Anyway. He came home with an assortment of items for you. No medicine yet because he doesn’t trust that Devildom painkillers won’t harm you, but he brought a BUNCH of snacks, and a collection of things that can be used to absorb the blood for now, until he can get Lucifer to let him go get the stuff you normally use from the human world. You can take your pick.
He even commissioned an enchanter to make you a custom heating pad, because he doesn’t trust the ones meant for demons to not burn your skin. He didn’t think about the price. Frankly, he doesn’t care. Maybe he’ll remember to complain about it to save face later. Maybe.
His main concern—making sure you’re okay—left no room to think of that in that moment. He waves off your concern about bloodstains on the stuff he lent you before he went out. Being reassuring in his usual irreverent way, saying something about how he’s a demon, and demons don’t tend to be squeamish about blood. Hell if he cares, he says.
While you’re in the bathroom washing up and dealing with the bleeding (with a SECOND set of Mammon’s worn-in, comfy clothes that he put in your hands before shoving you into the bathroom, not giving you a second to refuse), Mammon is texting Lucifer to find a way to get you proper period supplies from the human world.
When you come back to him, he tells you that you’ll have what you need before you go to bed, but in the meantime you should sit, because he’s putting on another movie.
He watches you shift around uncomfortably over the next few minutes. Cramps, you know. You’re not exactly comfortable sitting the way you are. Without a word, he pulls you to lie down with your head resting on his leg. He’s looking away from you, indistinctly mumbling something about “so lucky I’m lookin’ after ya” and “what would ya do without the great Mammon” and “MY human, damn it” as he carefully rubs tension out of your back.
“What was that?” You ask him.
“Shut up an’ watch the damn movie!” He splutters.
You stay like that until Lucifer shows up with your requested items. Pads, tampons, a menstrual cup, painkillers, whatever it is you asked for.
Later that night, as Mammon persists in rubbing your back as another movie plays, you find that your trust in him is stronger than it has ever been before. You understand exactly why Mammon is the best demon to be in charge of your well-being. Lucifer chose him for a reason, and it’s impossible to miss. Mammon is so damn caring under the tsundere façade.
You feel so loved. You ARE so loved. The pain fades away under the warmth of his hands. His lap makes a good pillow, and Mammon makes a great guardian.
(Every month after this, he leaves his door open for you in case you want a distraction from the pain. He’s ready with snacks and a movie. He’ll happily do this for you every time.)
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Levi: passion -> gentleness
Whatever it is that Levi notices first—be it the blood, the worse mood, the regular time spent with Mammon every month—he freaks out. He’s like “AAAAWTF WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING ARE YOU DYING???” Or like “oh noooo are you mad at me why are you randomly sad do you hate me now??” Or like “why can’t you reschedule with Mammon and do this time limited event with me, do you not wanna play with me anymore???”
Either way, bro is suffering.
Eventually, either you or one of his older brothers explains to him, and he feels bad. He didn’t mean to stress you out worse! Also, periods are real?? He thought it was just some creative plot point in the occasional anime! That’s crazy, why are humans built like that??
Anyway. Levi’s nothing if not passionate, and he’s gonna turn some of that passion towards finding ways to make you more comfortable.
He will find a way to order all the human world snacks you crave while you’re bleeding. He will be on the lookout for gifts, like games and merch and manga you’d want. He stockpiles them so he always has something ready to cheer you up when you need that.
He will even do his best to redirect the envy he feels towards Mammon and his established routine of movies and snacks in his room with you lying in his lap and getting free back rubs on the first day of your period each month. He wants that to be him, damn it! But he’s not gonna disrupt that for you.
He WILL claim hanging out with you on your day 2 though, AND will fill in every time if Mammon’s not available. The only thing that can beat out his shyness at the idea of having you using his lap as a pillow is the raging envy at knowing MAMMON gets to have that every month!
(Eventually, once you figure out that Levi wants to be invited so bad, you just invite him. It’s not like you don’t want him there! He’s very happy to sit next to you with your legs in his lap while he ignores Mammon’s stupid movie and plays a game on his phone. It’s nice to have two demon pillows. This one’s got built-in cooling!)
Levi understands not wanting to deal with lights and noise and craziness when you’re in pain. He will prevent any of his brothers from bringing any of that around you with all the determination and passion he brings to everything he cares about.
He is remarkably gentle, for someone who is usually so excitable. So considerate! You can see in the way he forces everyone to only argue over text, in the gentle movement of cool, nimble hands over sore calves and hips and ankles, in the presentation of snacks and gifts determinedly brought to you from the human world, how much he cares about you. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you.
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Satan: research -> comfort
The first order of business for nerd boy here is, of course, research. He is gathering information from all his relevant contacts—every human sorcerer and witch he knows, every demon with a pact-bonded menstruating human they care about AND the aforementioned human, every healer, medical researcher, librarian…
Yeah, he’s gonna end up knowing more about it than you do.
He comes back home after a few days, mumbling about human endocrine systems and nutrition and medical malpractice of menstruating patients and the mechanics of blood production and every phase of a menstrual cycle and how pain works on a chemical level. He’s got notebooks and everything. He’s got the whole history of menstruation since the beginning of humanity summarized in one of those notebooks.
… Maybe it’s a bit overkill. But you know how he gets when he’s curious, especially about something that hurts you! He’s gotta know everything!
So now he’s infodumping to you about every symptom you mention. If you’re the sort of person who finds that interesting and helpful, perfect! If you’re not… well, he won’t be offended if you get mad at him for effectively mansplaining your own body to you. Demon-splaining? Whatever, either way he will take that correction with grace and only tell you information you directly ask for. He’s learned enough about menstruation to be very sympathetic and patient while you’re in the middle of it. It seems awful to him, and he’s not about to make it worse!
He’s wise enough to know that he should ask before ACTING on any of that information though. He won’t try to optimize your nutrition or your painkillers or anything unless you ask him to. He knows that would be too far. He’s not prideful enough to override you like that, he’s not Lucifer.
If you get really angry when you bleed, he’s got you! He understands, he encourages you to yell and rant in front of him all you want. Throw around some destructive spellwork or just break stuff if you need to, he’s got a room for that. It’s all good!
Satan is so good with practical comfort. He’s big on venting for your health and sanity. He knows what buttons not to push, they’re obvious to him as wrath incarnate.
Of course, he’ll also give you hugs and drive off his crazy brothers if you need peace. He’ll bring you to the cats when you get sick of people. He’ll find you any answer you need. If your cycle is irregular or in any way atypical, there’s no better demon to have searching for answers for you—and he’d NEVER let no medical malpractice happen to you. Doctors are GOING to take you seriously, damn it!
To him, there’s no such thing as too much hassle to help someone he loves so much as he loves you.
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Asmo: luxury -> selflessness
As the Avatar of Lust, there’s no way Asmo doesn’t know the basics of how menstrual cycles work. No way. Even if demons don’t get them, it’s relevant to his whole domain.
Asmo’s got you. He’s gonna spoil the hell out of you. Massages with fancy oils, hot baths with magic muscle relaxant products added, masks to prevent any skin issues from fluctuating hormones, everything he can think of.
If anyone even tries to make you do anything you don’t want to, he will destroy them. This is a time for rest, he insists!
He relishes any opportunity to relax with you, have a self-care day, just chill and recharge together… but he’s prioritizing you. You get to see the rare responsible Asmo during this time! If you have non-negotiable responsibilities, he’s helping you. He wants you to get done faster!
He’s actually got a pretty great strategic mind when he’s incentivized to use it! He’s so efficient! Only because he wants you to be in his room relaxing as fast as possible, but it’s totally there!
At the end of it all, it’s completely possible that he forgets about spoiling himself too, just because he got so focused on trying to take as much of your pain away as possible. It’s wild that he doesn’t think he has any capacity for selflessness. Good thing you know better.
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Beel: perceptiveness -> caring
Beel smells the blood. Immediately. At first he’s concerned but minds his own business, trusting that Mammon’s taking care of you. But after you’ve pacted with him? Not anymore.
Beel becomes your warning system. He will notify you as soon as the hormonal shift starts to happen. Days before you even start bleeding.
You know it’s because he cares, and that he can’t avoid noticing the change in your scent whether he wants to or not. You choose not to think it’s weird.
He gets worried once he learns about what happens to you every month. His first priority is making sure he doesn’t eat everything that’s high in iron, folic acid, vitamin C and D, and omega-3s. All very good for you when you’re on your period. He makes sure that stuff remains available to you.
He invites you to exercise with him too, because he heard that can be helpful. He won’t STOP you from lifting if that’s what you want to do, but HE is choosing to focus on stretching and moderate cardio for now (stuff that should be more helpful for you) and if you want to join him, well… that’s what he’s doing. What do you mean he changed it on purpose? He just felt like yoga and a nice jog today! Don’t think about it too hard!
Beel is actually the best one to go to for massages. Sure, Asmo knows what feels good and he’s phenomenal at that. True. But Beel is the one who understands every muscle and tendon in a body, so if you want a full, functional reset, in which all the tension and soreness in you gets methodically, optimally pressed out, you go to Beel. It might not feel quite as nice—in fact it might hurt a fair bit—but it’ll be so effective. You will have no pain at all after. Plus, he’ll teach you stretches to prevent some of that tension coming back later, too. He’s so helpful.
_______
Belphie: laziness -> service
We all know Belphie is the number one advocate for rest. He will encourage you to sleep through as much of it as possible. Why would you want to be awake to experience pain? Screw that. He will actively keep you asleep as long as possible—unless you tell him in advance that there has to be limits so you don’t bleed on everything you’re touching. Even so, he doesn’t quite see the problem. He’s a demon, he’s not squeamish about blood. What biohazard?
But no, he’ll respect that. If he’s a lil shit about it, all you have to do is pull the “remember that time you killed me” card and he’ll do whatever you want lol
In the biggest twist of irony since The Incident, Belphie actually finds himself serving as your alarm clock. It has to be him, you see, because he insists on sleeping next to you. He wants to be there to ensure you sleep through the night, and don’t ever get woken up by cramps. So it’s gotta be him to wake you up when it’s absolutely necessary. Because you see, he does not trust anyone else to understand what’s absolutely necessary. Only someone who loves sleep as much as him gets it, he insists.
Belphie is nothing if not lazy. Obviously. But… he’s actually voluntarily doing work on your behalf?? He’s concealing bloodstains on your sheets from you so you don’t feel uncomfortable, and washing them for you. He isn’t even telling you about that, so he isn’t even getting any thanks for it! How very kind and un-demonic of him!
(Of course, he’s mostly doing it because he doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed and stop sleeping next to him while you’re on your period. He’s got selfish reasons. But… really, it’s not very selfish at all when you look at how that benefits you too. How could he be so surprised to hear that you think he can be kind and sweet when he wants to be? How’s he not seeing it??)
He may deny that he’s actually a sweetie, but you know the truth. When sloth incarnate is voluntarily doing secret chores for you, you KNOW he loves you. It might as well be spilling out of his soul, it’s so undeniable.
_______
You’re bleeding. It’s miserable. No one likes their period. It’s made much more bearable for you, however, now that you have this ridiculous family falling over themselves to make your life easier. All the pain, all the hormonal fuckery, all the bullshit your body puts you through is… well, actually quite tolerable when you’re loved this much.
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caramelberzatto · 3 days
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coffee, croissants, carm. // c. berzatto
hi guysssss <3 trying something a little different with a social media au (smau.) just some brief context i guess, lol. you're syd's best friend and have been away for a year, studying abroad, then you meet carmy through her. and it just progresses over a few months. ANYWAY, i hope you guys like this. (no pictures are my own, all from pinterest, credit to the original owners.)
yourusername made a post
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liked by sydddadamu, yourcousin, and 43 others
yourusername: london was lovely, but it's good to be home! syd coming through with a home-cooked meal >:) tagged: @/sydddadamu
friend1: miss you already!! come back soon <3 -> yourusername: you know i will!! when i'm not broke lol, gotta job hunt now :/
sydddadamu: damn who is that very professional chef in the second slide? -> yourusername: idk but the meal was 1000/10. get this woman a michelin star NEOOWW
yourcousin: so, i should be expecting you this weekend for the debrief, yes? i need to know all the details about those london boys ;) -> sydddadamu: BOYS? am i missing something?? -> yourusername: NO LMAO if there was something to tell, you would already know
~~~~~
yourusername made a post
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liked by user1, sydddadamu, youraunt, and 38 others
yourusername: sweet home chicago <3 tagged: @/sydddadamu
youraunt: lovely ladies!!! that tree outside your window is beautiful! -> yourusername: it's my favourite view <3
sydddadamu: couldn't have chosen a better photo?! -> yourusername: shut up, ur hot -> sydddadamu: your hand in marriage, then?
~~~~~
yourusername made a post
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liked by sydddadamu, thebeef_chicago, and 46 others
yourusername: MY GIRL A CHEFFFFFFFFFFFFFF (gotta drive her to work tho) i hope they don't remember us here, because the study sessions we used to have were loud. tagged: @/sydddadamu, @/thebeef_chicago
sydddadamu: didn't have to expose teenage me like that -> yourusername: teenage you was incredible. she just frowned a lot.
~~~~~
yourusername made a post
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liked by friend1, sydddadamu, cberzatto, and 52 others
yourusername: in my 'spending all my money on coffee and books' era. (i've been like this my whole life.)
friend2: iconnnnnnnn
sydddadamu: yo the last slide??
friend1: who is that? -> yourusername: that's my wife obvs -> friend1: you know that's not who i meant -> friend2: oof no further comment? it's a boyfriend for sure.
~~~~~
yourusername made a post
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liked by cberzatto, sydddadamu, and 68 others
yourusername: coffee, croissants, carm.
friend3: ???soft launch??? -> yourusername: perhaps.
youraunt: which cafe is that? we need to catch up :) -> yourusername: i'm free this weekend!! i'd love to see you and uncle dave!!
sydddadamu: this is your version of live, love, laugh. -> yourusername: you get me <3
~~~~~
yourusername made a post
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liked by cberzatto, sydddadamu, friend3, and 72 others
yourusername: all in the details. tagged: @/cberzatto
cberzatto: <3 -> yourusername: <3 -> richierichjerimovich: fucking hell, he does know how to use his phone. doesn't pick it up, tho.
sydddadamu: how did richie get here before i did?
friend1: glad to see you're making some new friends! bring them to london next time around <3 friday karaoke isn't the same without you!
~~~~~
yourusername made a post
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liked by cberzatto, sydddadamu, marcus.brooks, and 77 others
yourusername: he's so pretty when he... you guys know the song. tagged: @/cberzatto
friend2: the hardest of hard launches!! so happy for you!!
friend1: NOW i know why you've been kicking your feet and giggling whenever we factime!!!!
sydddadamu: the caption is insane on this one. -> yourusername: pretend you don't see it.
marcus.brooks: bringing the energy to the beef! -> richierichjerimovich: we've always had energy? -> marcus.brooks: not the good kind. -> sydddadamu: there's definitely less yelling now, thank god
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OKAY hi <3 thanks for reading this :) this is a bit all over the place because i didn't have any kind of plot in mind when putting this together, but i have a few other ideas that i'll be able to articulate better. this was just a bit of fun hehehe love y'all. let me know if this is something you'd like to see more of!!!
tagging some cuties: @martiansodas-blog @foreveraimingtowardsthesky @laiiaaa @thecapricunt1616 @nolita-fairytale @carmenberzattosgf
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pers1st · 1 day
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people help the people
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pairing: lucy bronze (platonic) x reader
notes: mentions of suicide, not really ahappy ending, whole lotta angst, don't read if you're not in a good place.
i lost my best friend to suicide about a year ago and it's genuinely been the hardest thing of my life to go through, and even though i feel incredibly selfish for comparing my pain to hers, i just hope that everyone who's in a bad place will feel better soon. your death will hurt people, even if you don't believe it. my messages are always open !!
“Heartbreaking news have hit the football community earlier this morning as Arsenal have confirmed the death of young defender, Y/N Y/L/N. The club has stated that Y/L/N, who also played for the Lionesses, was found dead in her apartment late last night. Her death has been ruled as suicide. Other than that, both the club and the FA have asked for privacy as they deal with this tragic loss. The matches of this week will take place as usual, though the teams have agreed collectively to wear black armbands, along with having a minute of silence ahead of the match’s begin.”
The internet was a cruel place, Lucy realized a week after your death. There were countless articles, invasive messages, offensive comments about how and why your presence had been tragically ripped away from this world. She didn’t understand - how could she? Lucy liked to believe that the two of you had a real bond, with you only being nineteen years old and looking up to Lucy as if she was a Goddess, following her every step, studying her every move, clinging onto her every word as if she spoke a prayer. The admiration wasn’t one-sided, either. Lucy looked up to you. How could she not? You were so young, and faced with so much adversity - the fact that you were as professional as you were at such a young age, you impressed Lucy. You had. Until Keira had filled her in on the news ahead of a training session at Barcelona, shattering Lucy’s heart in the process. You had reached out to Lucy a lot, but never about anything this serious. You had told Lucy a lot of things, but nothing grave enough a reason to take your own life. 
Admittedly, she knew the odd joke you had made - when you had slipped on the ball in front of the whole team, crashing down onto your stomach and banging your head enough to leave a glaringly obvious bump on your forehead, only to realize that the media staff had caught the moment and posted it to TikTok mere moments later. You had said, then, that you might as well have offed yourself. Lucy had laughed. Leah, who had been standing closeby, had laughed. You had laughed as you said it, but the words didn’t leave Lucy’s head anymore. You had said it. Right in front of her. How could she not have noticed?
It took minutes for Lucy’s face to be drenched in tears, hours until she would leave the medical room, which Keira had cleared and led her into, knowing very well that Lucy would not want anyone to see her raw emotions, days until Lucy returned to training, and months for anyone in the football community to address the situation. Mental health. Mental illness. Lights and shadows that came with being exposed to such brutal schedules, invasive comments, being shown off for everyone to see while no one ever required to know anything substantial. People wanted funny comments, smiles, laughter. No one ever cared about the weight dragging any players down, until it was too late - Lucy realized, as everyone and their mother seemed opposed to even speaking your name, only that energy into  searching, very openly, both in comment sections or live on broadcasted TV, for the reason you had left life behind. Lucy searched for it too, though more secludedly.
She re-read your messages for hours, in the little light the moon provided as it fell through the cracks of her bedroom window, deciphering each and every letter, pronouncing the words out loud in different tones, scrolling through your social media to search for any clue. You had had your fair share of problems- you had told Lucy about them. You hadn’t been a big fan of the fans seemingly taking property of you. You hadn’t been ready for the pressure that you would be put under after another one of your defenders was injured and you were re-called from your loan to step into the position immediately. You hadn’t dealt well with the lack of your parents’ presence. Though you had still lived with them, they had rarely attended your matches, always able to come up with an excuse, one that you believed. You had defended them, shielding your family from Lucy's criticism when you had let her know, in another disappointed text message, that they hadn’t been able to make it. You hadn’t wanted to accept the fact that they simply weren’t interested in your career, and Lucy had accepted that. 
Now, though, she wondered whether you had silently accepted it, and been too ashamed to admit it. Lucy knew that it wasn’t your fault - you had been the biggest ray of sunshine, even through your difficulties. You had managed to put a smile on everyone’s face, even though you had always been a little shy. You had been sweet, and kind, and gentle. Had Lucy been your parent- she would’ve let everyone know, would’ve shown you off to the world with pride, would’ve been there for everyone of your big moments. She had managed to fly out for the Conti Cup final, together with Keira, to watch you win the second domestic trophy in your senior career, only this time it was as a key-player rather than a super-sub. 
Lucy was never really able to figure out your exact reasoning - perhaps that was the deal with mental illness. It was an illness. Perhaps there was no reasoning, perhaps the whole point of being ill was the fact that a healthy person would never be able to grasp the darkness that clenched your soul and inevitably drove you to death. If Lucy had learned one thing, though, it was the fact that she was never going to let anyone feel like you must’ve, ever again.
She had seen your parents during the funeral, had witnessed what your death had done to the people, who, though she never really liked them, had raised an absolutely incredible girl. She had seen your room, per her parents request, had seen the blood stained tiles on your bathroom floor, had heard your mother’s mumbled apology for not being able to clean it all. She had seen where you had spent your very last minutes, and she had thought about what must’ve been going on through your head, and it had almost suffocated her. And that was how she found herself here - in a studio in London on her rare off day, with Sky Sports, in an interview room that felt uncomfortable, a seat that pressed into her back, and a microphone in her sweaty hands. 
“I just think that mental health is so, so important. I don’t know what it’s like to feel like… to feel like there’s no way out anymore, but I do know what it feels like to lose a person to their illness. It’s brutal. It makes you think you’ve failed them, and it makes you want to wish you had done more. I don’t want anyone to experience that.”
Lucy swallowed thickly, glancing at the reporter next to her. The man was kind, he handled the interview with delicacy. Your death had shocked the world, and by now, people knew to be respectful. Enough time had passed. Everyone had gotten over the initial shock. Everyone was left behind with that same distaste in their mouth and a hole in their stomach. People were delicate, when they mentioned you. They were still wearing black armbands in the WSL, and Lucy still wore the bracelet she had been given by your parents, taping it up for every match, letting any of her lioness teammates kiss her wrist whenever they scored. 
“Is that why it’s so important to talk about this, to you?”
“Yeah, it’s definitely part of it. But I think most of all, I think we need to speak about it for Y/N. I think if we’d had this kind of open conversation a few months ago, she would’ve maybe reached out, you know. If I had educated myself on the topic better, maybe I could’ve seen the signs. I think it’s more for the people who feel the way she felt. If we can make even a single person reach out for help when they initially wouldn’t, I think it’s paid off.”
The man nodded. 
“It’s just… you know. There’s always another way. Even when you don’t feel like it. I don’t know what it’s like to go through suicidal tendencies, but I do know what it’s like to feel sort of, hopeless. And I know that whatever happens, the world is a better place with you in it. Suicide is such a cruel way to go. I’ve wondered a lot, you know, whether she’s happier now, but I don’t think she is. Y/N had so many ambitions, so many dreams. She had such a bright future and yeah, for a mental illness to rip that away from her, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with that.”
Lucy sniffed, the tears dwelling in her eyes by now. She had never spoken about your death publically. No one had, not exactly. Sure, there had been underlying comments, minutes of silence and the odd mention of your name, but people had been cautious to actually speak about the situation. She couldn’t blame them, because fuck- this hurt. She saw your face whenever she closed her eyes. She heard your voice whenever she couldn’t sleep, your laughter was engraved into her brain. There would not be a day in her life that she didn’t miss you. It hurt. A lot. The realization that you weren’t just a few countries away, that you wouldn’t call her back later, that you wouldn’t call her after an important match or visit her in Barcelona like you had said you would.
“You’ve been kind of hesitant to agree to this interview. Why do you think that is? I mean, no one has really spoken about Y/N’s death as openly as you have.”
“Yeah, I think it’s difficult. To admit this kind of pain. I mean- it shouldn’t be, you know? I think it’s important to speak about this kind of loss and all the hurt that comes with it. Not out of a place to put blame, I’d never blame her. But just to, yeah, make people realize how bad this kind of loss hurts. How much people miss her, because we all miss her, even though some people are hesitant to say it out loud.”
“How do you feel about people being so hesitant?”
“I don’t think you can blame them, you know. Grief looks different for anyone. And I guess I’m a fixer kind of person. I want to fix things, and even though I’ll never be able to, you know, fix this, I do hope that by speaking up about this, I can potentially save someone from doing the same thing. Let people know that mental health should never be a taboo, encourage people to speak up before it’s too late. Because the world will miss you, even if you don’t think it will. The world is a different place without you in it”, she concluded, though she was mostly speaking to you.
It was true. The world was different, now that you were gone. Your friends- mostly the younger girls in the Arsenal squad, seemed to be less talkative. Arsenal was a different place- Leah had told Lucy during your funeral. Everyone was a little less talkative, the loss hanging heavy over the team. Kim worried a lot, about the younger ones, whereas the older, more experienced players, dealt with the same kind of guilt Lucy felt. 
Barcelona was different too, though you had never played there. Alexia and Patri seemed to be checking on everyone a little more frequently, holding the team together, making sure everyone was okay. Lucy wasn’t, of course, though her team tried their best to help her move forward.
She did, eventually. England camps became less heavy, and when England won the Euros in 2025 again, during Lucy’s last match, she held up your shirt proudly, keeping the medal that had your name engraved in it, without shedding a single tear. When Arsenal won the Super League that year, they did the same thing. Lucy still felt a pinch in her chest everytime one of your teams reached another milestone, because she had wanted you to experience those kind of things. You deserved to experience your first league title, your second Euros, but more than anything-
She envisioned the life you could’ve lived, away from football. You deserved to fall in love, to visit Barcelona and every other place in the world you would’ve wanted to. You deserved to move out of your parents home into your first ever flat, you deserved to get a kitten and name it something ridiculous, the way you had always planned. You deserved to feel the rays of sun on your skin on the odd day it didn’t rain in London, you deserved to go on another trip to Ibiza and terrorize the rest of the girls in the club for another night. You deserved to be a bridesmaid at a wedding, the way you had always wanted to. You deserved a lot more than dying at nineteen. Everyone did. And Lucy would spend the rest of her career, potentially the rest of her life, making sure that people who felt the same way you had would feel a little less alone, a little more hopeful, would live a little longer. Anything in her power. She would do it all.
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halfdeadsage · 1 day
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every day i learn something new about logan sargeant and his racing career, not just about his performance in f1 but in f2 and previous series, too. and every day i end up so sad because he genuinely has so so much potential and can do so much but he keeps being give a poor hand of cards. this guy out qualified his teammate in f2 TEN TO FOUR. and who was his teammate?? liam lawson. liam joined redbull’s driver academy in february of 2019 while logan only got to join an f1 team’s driver academy in october of 2021. that team was williams. which, as we know, hasn't exactly been the best performing team in recent years. oscar piastri got to join an f1 team’s driver academy in january of 2020 (the renault sport academy, later rebranded as the alpine academy). liam and oscar both got the opportunity to do f1 tests for YEARS prior to their f1 debuts in 2023. liam had 4 and a half years of experience in f1 cars before 2023. oscar had 3 years of experience in f1 cars before 2023. even if it was just testing and practice sessions, it's still something.
what did logan get? one measly fp2 session, post-season testing, and then jumped right in to pre-season testing in 2023. he already had a seat in williams then, so with the experience from before the pre-season testing in 2023 he got to do maybe 800km of testing in an f1 car. the others — in this case i mean oscar, liam, and heck even nyck de vris — had opportunities to drive f1 cars and gain experience for YEARS before logan. if you look at nyck de vris: he got signed to the mclaren young driver programme in 2010. he joined the audi sport racing academy in 2016.  granted, he left the mclaren programme in before the 2019 season and left audi after the 2019 season, too. but he then went to mercedes as a reserve driver and tester for 2020 and afterwards. this means he got just about a DECADE AND A HALF of teams putting their time and energy into training him to join f1.
logan got a year. one. single. fucking year. that is entirely incomparable to the other rookies from 2023, who had so much more experience before hand. and yet logan was jumped into f1 and the expectations were so high for a guy who hasn't had the chance to train and learn and gain experience.
and yet when we look at the 2022 f2 season, logan sargeant, a rookie, was 1 point off from his teammate —the one and only liam lawson — scoring p4 in the championship. he outqualified his teammate 10 to 4. he was the first american to win an f2 race (that is, of course, following the rebrand from gp2 to f2, but regardless, that’s still an important thing to note and an achievement of his that should be celebrated).
logan sargeant has so much potential and if only williams would show him a little more faith unlike what they’ve been doing, if only they’d give him the same upgrades as alex, if only they wouldn’t force him to drive a car 15kg overweight from that of his teammate’s car, if only they wouldn’t force him to use outdated rear and front wings from the season prior. then perhaps he would have a chance to show what he can do. perhaps if he wasn’t stuck in a team with a crap car who have shown zero faith (which has been vehemently obvious since the circus in australia) in him and made him absolutely miserable, a shell of himself — which you can clearly see in recent interviews and photos of him — then maybe he’d be able to show how good he really is. and maybe if williams hadn’t been so adamant about taking him out of f2 so quickly and let him develop for one more year, we’d be seeing headlines that say “logan sargeant, first american f1 driver on the podium since michael andretti in 1993.” and perhaps we could even see him winning races.
no matter what someone says about his current f1 performances — though most base that solely off of where he ends up on the grid rather than looking at his actual driving and seeing how good he is as a driver considering the crap circumstances he’s in — logan sargeant is a better driver than what everyone says. he is trying so insanely hard to get a car that is miles off from the rest of the field to place as high as humanly possible. no one can say that if you put another driver in that car that logan is driving they'd be doing better than he is now. the fact is, they wouldn't be. he's been given an absolute tractor and is expected to score points when that car isn't built for getting in the points. and yet logan managed to get p10 in the miami sprint race — which should be recognized and commended. because he was in an awful car and he absolutely shined that day. that was just the start of showing what he could do. but he hasn't been given the same resources as alex, those being the upgrades, so what more can he do compared to what he's doing now?
and i am actually sitting here crying as i type this because this is a driver who is giving it his all even when the entire world is against him, even when his entire TEAM is against him, and he is persevering to the best of his abilities. and i know exactly what it’s like to sit here, wanting to reach for your dreams and show everyone how good you are, but to have only your closest friends and family on your side, rooting for you. what it’s like to look everywhere around you and see everyone calling you crap and saying you should quit and that you aren’t and never will be good enough. to look around and see your closest friends and family cheering for you, yet feeling like crap because you aren't doing as well as you would want, feeling inferior to everyone around you.
news flash: logan sargeant is and will always be good enough. he just needs the opportunity to show it, and williams is ruining that for him.
and yes, i will defend him with my life. people who try to say otherwise can try to do the same hours — the WEEKS — worth of research that i’ve done about logan and his career because he IS a good driver and HE DESERVES BETTER.
any hate comments towards logan will be deleted, because i have neither the time nor the energy to deal with that and argue with logan haters. i've said all of what i know and can remember about him and his career above, and will add what i can as time goes on and i remember something else or learn something new. if you have the time to hate on logan, you have the time to do your research and examine the fact that he has the potential to do well, but is not in a position for that because of the abhorrent circumstances he is currently in.
thank you for coming to my ted talk. edit: i'd also really recommend reading this twitter thread!! it goes into some more depth on logan and his f2 / f1 career, and even a little bit about his f3 career. it's very informative and articulates much of logan's career and why he is a better driver than many believe very well. https://x.com/herrocult/status/1795747913588761027
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hanafubukki · 2 days
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As much as I believe there are parts of Lilia that regrets being so tough on Malleus when he was younger (as discussed in this post).
I also think that for that fae, for a dragon fae no less, a rough, tsun, and first time father is exactly what Malleus needed as well.
Young Lilia had the magic, power, and energy needed to handle a young Malleus. Yes, Lilia wasn’t used to being a father and, of course, he made some mistakes. Which parent hasn’t? He’s done the same with Silver too.
But young Lilia has the drive and the stubbornness to deal with a baby dragon fae, as we see hinted at in book 7 part 6.
Those qualities our Lilia might not even have. Kind of like the tired parent trope when you have multiple kids you know? Which also shows how much Malleus also helped Lilia with Silver as the older brother figure.
A young Lilia can go head to head with a powerful baby dragon. He could play roughly and keep up to speed with him. He can calm down a child Malleus because he has the ability to do so, the magic and energy to do it.
I have no doubt that child Malleus put Lilia through the wringer, and that tsun tsun did end up having to run after him. Lilia was even surprised when Malleus was able to overpower him because his magic grew more than he expected; he was so proud! He even had a toast to it.
As much as I think that sometimes Lilia wishes he was kinder to Malleus when he raised him, Lilia was right. He did his best to raise Malleus.
A young, powerful, tsundere father is exactly what a baby dragon needs to grow.
Someone who can keep the other on their toes 🥹💞
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arwenadreamer · 3 days
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Jared is the most loving, caring person!
I've read it a thousand times online, but experiencing it in person puts it on anoher level!
Jared's schedule on Purcon 8 was merciless! (In fact, the whole schedule of Purcon was the one thing I have to criticise regarding this convention. Maybe I'll make another post about this.) For example on Sunday Jared had 15 Minutes of double photo (with Mark), then the J2 panel (30 Minutes) then M&G (30 Minutes) then photos 2,5 hours of photos (which run late, so it was close to three hours in the end), then a single panel (30 Minutes) without a single break. (There would have been a 20 minute break after the 2,5 hours of photos, but again, they were late.) Then he had half an hour break, before autos were from 16.25 to 18.25!
I don't know about US conventions, but at JiB there are more little breaks, and the photos, autos, etc. are in smaller patches. Like, 1 hour photos in the morning, then an hour of autos, then a panel, then photos again.
I don't think I could stand in a photo room and smile for 3 hours straight and give every fan the time of the day and a beautiful photo!
But Jared did! (And so did Jensen, btw.! Neither of them ever showing how tired they were. Or at least trying to hide it the best they could.)
So, @takikojou and I took our Jared photos on sunday. We were in line last, since we had the cheapest entrance tickets, which means Jared had taken pictures for nearly 2,5 hours. When we were in the photo room, we could clearly see how exhausted he was. Between pictures, his eyes drooped. Yet, he gave EVERY. SINGLE. FAN. his full attention. He made those 10 seconds special for everyone of nearly 2000 fans! One girl wanted to do a handholding pose with him and he squatted down (as he always does), but she asked him to stand tall please, which he did. And the whole room laughed. (This kind of good natured laugh.) So did Jared. He picked up the energy and still had fun. Then a man came and asked him to do the WOW fingers. Jared clearly loved that, they made a bit of fun about it. Jared clapped the fan on the back in parting and said "Loved that pose!". @takikojou had an amazing op, but that's her story to tell.
Then it was my turn. I wanted to do a drinking pose. He listened attentively (For some reason we were not allowed to show pictures on the phone of what we wanted, because they said it would take more time? I think it takes more time to explain, but oh well.) Then he did the pose and looked me dead in the eye. For my second photo I asked him to choose the pose. He said "I'll stand behind you", then turned me around and held me withe both arms around my shoulders. And then he pressed with so much strengh, held me sooooooooo tight! I grin like a lunatic on the pic, but who can blame me? I then turned halfway around to say "Thank you", before walking away, and he stroked my arm and said "Thank you, darling!"
The pictures turned out wonderful. And all of that after 2,5 hours of nonstop pictures! Not a single photo he took shows how tired he was!
He came on stage right after photos for his panel and was like "I'm gonna sit, I need that now", falling into the chair right away. Yet, he continued to give us an awesome panel. Seriously, my brain would have been mush by now, yet he gave clever, insightful answers as always and put his full energy into that panel.
We don't deserve that man!
All that goes for Jensen too, btw! But he had a much better schedule with little breaks and rather an hour photos, then something else, then photos again. Which is why I was especially blown away by Jaredˋs dedication. But that doesn't change the fact, that Jensen, too, gives every fan his full attention and makes the most of those 10 seconds and of the panels and everything. They are both amazing like that!
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amirasainz · 6 hours
Note
Obsessed with your fics! Could you please do she’s sick and the drivers and wags fuss over her and acting like she’s gonna die when it’s just a cold?
Hi guys. Sorry for not posting anything for such a long time. I was so busy with school and travelling and didn't really have the motivation to write anything. Hope you all enjoy reading this and you can always send me some requests. -XoXo
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Flu-Season
Amira’s bout of the common flu had her feeling utterly miserable. Like any sick princess, she knew there was only one thing to do: call her brother.
Carlos wasted no time whisking her off to the doctor’s office. His nervous energy filled the waiting room, and if it weren’t for Rebecca holding Amira’s hand, she might have fainted from the dizzying pace of her older brother’s pacing.
The doctor’s diagnosis—common flu—elicited tears from Rebecca and a dramatic faint from Carlos. Back home at the Sainz-Donalds residence, Amira found herself cocooned in warmth. Five blankets enveloped her, a cute sea otter stuffed animal nestled beside her, and the couple—Carlos and Rebecca—lying on either side of her.
After an hour of sleep, Amira stirred to the gentle touch of someone stroking her hair. Opening her eyes, she met Carmen’s friendly gaze. “Hey, darling. How are you feeling?” Carmen whispered. “Why are we whispering?” Amira croaked. “We don’t want to wake the others,” Carmen replied.
Taking in her surroundings, Amira’s heart swelled. Kika and Rebecca laid at the foot of the bed, Kelly held her tightly from behind, and Leo and Roscoe each guarded near her head.
Emotions overwhelmed her, and tears welled up. “No, don’t cry, honey,” soothed Kelly, who had woken up as Amira shifted. Both Carmen and Kelly gently lulled the crying girl back to sleep. As Amira drifted off again, Carmen whispered to Kelly, “She truly is our brave girl.”
Meanwhile, in the living room:
“Gentlemen, pay very careful attention,” Carlos began. “Today, we’re gathered here to ensure that MY sister recovers faster than any Formula 1 car.”
Seated before him were Charles, Lando, Lewis, Pierre, Max, and George—each looking like picture-perfect soldiers. Carlos assumed the role of sergeant, addressing them with authority. A whiteboard displayed a timetable with different names and times.
“Max, you and Kelly will take Amira for a walk around 3 p.m. Charles and Lewis, dinner duty in 40 minutes. The rest of us will clean the bedroom. Carmen and Becca will assist with her shower, whil—”
“I can help her shower,” Lando interrupted. The room fell silent; all eyes turned to Lando, his hand raised. Carlos approached him, predator-like. “Lando Norris. Listen carefully, because I’ll say this only once. You’ll never come near my sister again if you keep talking like that. Do you hear me?” His final words were a whispered threat. Carlos waited for Lando’s nod of understanding.
“As I said before, Carmen and Rebecca…”
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brucewaynehater101 · 17 hours
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I severely need Tim to get hit by The Clench a second time. I need him to cough blood and bleed from all orifices. I need him to get back on that medical bed and wrapped with a whole bunch of bandages. I want Tim to be on the verge of hopelessness because he doesn't believe he would make it. I want Bruce to be so firm in his denial, everyone believes his words as truth, making Tim super bitter on the inside but feeling touched that he actually cares. I want Tim to be on the verge of death, and Jason and Damian doing their utmost best to find a cure for Tim, but there's not enough time and their best doesn't feel like it's enough and. I need Dick to be his original, unhinged, rageful self on the warpath for whoever had the wonderful idea to give his baby brother The Clench a second time. I need Cass breaking bones and putting people on the verge of death because she's scared and angry and no one can stop her, not until her little brother is safe. And why Tim? Why not any other character? *grabs you by the face and squishes your cheeks* Because that boi is my blorbo and things need to happen to him
Tim barely survived the Clench with a fully functioning immune system. I doubt he'd survive a second dose... but that could be part of the angst.
Maybe he survives because Bruce already has the cure on hand, or maybe Ra's al Ghul releases a different deadly disease to take out Tim.
For Tim, I don't think slowly withering away in bed is something he can handle. He's meant to be up and helping others. He'd be so frustrated with his failing health, his constant sleeping (which loses a ton of time), and how his family hovers around him. He feels miserable (pain, fever, shaking limbs, vomiting, etc). He just wants to feel okay again. He wants his family to stop looking at him like that. He doesn't have enough energy to reassure or help them.
Tim is clenching the bed sheets as another family member sits by his bedside and confesses their regrets in case this is it. He hears the distinct pitches, tones, and defense mechanisms as they apologize for past transgression. With the way Tim's voice keeps sputtering into coughs, he can't interrupt or absolve them. He wishes they wouldn't do this.
He had forgiven them long ago.
Damian, a kid who's seen so much death, shouldn't be so shaken at Drake's frail figure. The sight of the person he's just starting to accept as his brother shouldn't cause the younger one's hands to shake. Tim has always been fallible (Damian has seen it when he pushed Tim off that dinosaur), but he's never been so defenseless and weak. The youngest Wayne can hardly leave his post at Tim's door or bedside.
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Text
How did it end?
Summary: A flashback to the night that changed your lives forever.
Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader
Wordcount: 2.4k
Rating: T
Warnings: angst (so much angst), flashbacks, some really hurtful words, cursing, crying, pregnancy tests, Joel being a dick, Calvin being the best supportive brother
A/N: somehow I feel in my mind like this should have been worse, but I am sure you all do not feel like that at all so I'm sorry lol
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part three of invisible string
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Even before the outbreak you dealt with your anxiety or with big life decisions the same way.
You were stress cleaning. 
After walking out from Joel you made your way into the town centre, picking up your kids and then got back home where your brother Calvin was already trying to cook something but you mutually made the decision that you were gonna cook while he bathed the kids. 
You both did not want him to burn the house down.
He wanted to ask you how it went, having run into Maria on his way home from the Patrol meeting, who had told her that you had been at the clinic to see Joel. 
But this wasn’t the time or the place. 
It ended up being a nice evening all things considered. 
You had dinner, played some boardgames, read a good night stories to your kids and watched them sleep in their little beds until the nervous energy in your body left you walking back downstairs.
Once the house got quiet after the kids and you brother were asleep (he had an early morning with his first big day on Patrol the next day) you were alone with your thoughts. 
And your thoughts were loud, and demanded to be heard. 
So you went into the kitchen, took a look at all the cleaning supplies that were still stocked under the kitchen sink and got to work. 
You started with the top of the kitchen cabinets, standing on the counter as you scrubbed what felt like centuries of dust off of them until you were satisfied and moved to inside the cabinets. 
What a picture it would be if one of your new neighbours caught the crazy lady next door deep cleaning the kitchen at 2 am during the literal apocalypse.
Cleaning usually had the power to make the thoughts inside your head shut up. 
But as you emptied the cabinets so you could clean them inside, your mind drifted to the last time you had tried to deal with whatever was going on in your life by extensively deep cleaning every surface around you. 
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The Outbreak might have been an excuse for many people to let things like cleaning the place where they lived become unimportant. 
Which deep down it was of course.
Why have a clean kitchen when just down the street, behind the fences and walls the so called new government had pulled up, there were people and what once were people dying or fighting (or eating) each other?
But you always lived by the mindset of clean home, clean mind. 
And what you desperately needed right now was a clean mind. 
Two ten year old positive pregnancy tests you took this morning after feeling off for the last couple of weeks and missing you period were enough reason to freak out. 
But you couldn’t freak out. 
Joel would do that for you, you were sure. 
That was, if he ever decided to come home to you again after being on a run with Tess for the last four days. 
He hadn’t even told you or kissed you goodbye this time. 
You had woken up to a note on the kitchen table telling you that he’d be gone on a run with Tess and he didn’t know how long.
Something about your husband had changed in the last few months. 
It changed ever since Tommy left and Tess was his only influence outside of you. Not that you had much influence on anything he did nowadays. 
It wasn’t like he was the most attentive men to begin with. 
But you fell for him. 
You fell for the complicated, traumatised and closed off man who to this day was the most handsome man you had ever met. 
And deep down you knew he fell for you, mumbling his confessions of love into your skin when he thought you were asleep. 
It was the way he looked at you. 
The way he brought home a new book to read whenever he went out of the QZ. 
The way he made you forget about the fucked up word outside of the walls you made your home whenever he gave you his full attention. 
He wouldn’t have put a ring on your finger years earlier as you laid in his arms, asking you to be his until the day you both died, if he did not love you, would he?
You loved him, you loved him even when he seemed to make it his personal goal to make you hate him. 
He used to be home every night in the beginning. 
He used to love to spend time with you and you with him. Staying up just talking for hours if he wasn’t making love to you. 
Because even when he was fucking you, it felt different. More… intense. More passionate.  
He used to smile at you. 
By now you couldn’t remember the last time he smiled at you now. 
And by the time you had practically polished the whole shitty apartment you and Joel lived in it was dark outside and he still wasn’t home. 
In hopes he would be home and it would lift his mood you had made dinner that now sat cold on the stove.
It was after 11pm and you were tired, having been in the bathroom brushing your teeth when you heard the door unlock and open. 
A nervous flutter in your stomach made the dinner you had earlier almost come up but you took a deep breath, looking at yourself in the small mirror over the sink. 
You were wearing one of Joel’s old worn flannels, his familiar scent in your nose. 
What was the worst that could happen?
It was not like you could just turn back time?
You were pregnant and he just would have to deal with it. 
Right?
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You would never forget the way his eyes hardened once you said the words
„I am pregnant.“
He had been in a relatively good mood when you joined him in the small kitchen, having already taken his shoes and coat off, his hair damp from the rain outside. 
It made you reconsider telling him for a tiny moment, wanting to just enjoy this with him. But maybe he would not react like you thought he would? Maybe he would be happy?
You wanted to ask a million question about how it went but you were too nervous, having instead kissed his cheek with a whispered „I miss you“ and then offered to warm up some food for him. 
He had put his hand on your waist, his fingers brushing over your stomach as he went into the bathroom, his lips against your temple telling you that he would just take a quick shower. 
It was after he ate, the table cleaned that you told him. 
Sitting across from him at the tiny shitty table you had, your hands flat on the surface, the silence after you told him the news sickening.
His whole face had changed, expression hard, by the time he opened his mouth to speak. 
„Is it mine?“ He asked and you just blinked at him, speechless, your head falling back as if he had slapped you, before you answered. 
„What do you mean? Who else would it be? We’re married,“ you said and he scoffed. 
„Doesn’t mean you don’t open your legs for anyone else while I’m gone,“ he sneered and you flinched at the accusation and the tone he used. 
Sucking your bottom lip in you looked at your hands, still on the table, nodding your head slowly. 
„Good to know what you think of me after all these years,“ you whispered, still trying to process his words. 
„What did you think would happen? That I’ll be happy? Newsflash darlin’, this isn’t one of your dumb romance novels you keep reading,“ he said, before he brought his fist down on the table, making you jump. He got up from where he was sitting, walking over to the cabinet that held all the liquor he scavenged, opening the one bottle of original Jack Daniel’s and taking a long sip. 
„You gonna get rid of it,“ he said and you looked at him. 
„Excuse me?“ You asked. 
„Don’t want no kids of mine in this fucked up world. And especially not with you,“ he said and you felt slapped again. One blow after the next coming from him. You crossed your arms in front of your stomach protectively. 
You had imagined his reaction would be bad, but this wasn’t bad. This was destroying you.
„So that’s it, you don’t want a kid, and I have to just comply?“
„That’s exactly how it is, sweetheart,“ he grinned darkly at you, shaking his head and leaning against the wall and you desperately tried to find the tiniest part of the person you had fallen in love with as you looked at him. 
But there was nothing left. 
Maybe you just had been too blind to see it until now.
„I thought you loved me,“ you whispered, tears in your eyes. 
„How can someone love you? You thought because I put a ring on your finger everything would be okay? We’d be a happy little family and live in this shitty apartment in this shitty QZ while the world around us is fucking dying? How did you think this would go?“ He asked. 
„You made it sound like I planned this. Do you think I like this? Do you think I like being pregnant by a man who even though treated me like the fucking dirt beneath his shoes for the last months, was still the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with?“ 
„Then get rid of it and we can get back to it,“ he said and you scoffed.
„You really think things are gonna get back to how they were after you said all that?“ You asked. 
He shrugged. 
„Where would you go? You have no family. No friends. All you have is me,“ he said. 
„And you’re so different? Who do you have? Tommy left because…“
„Do not talk about my brother,“ he threatened and glared at you. 
You shook your head, taking a deep breath. 
He was drunk. 
This was not going anywhere. 
This would never go anywhere.
„Things are not going to go back. I can find someone better than you on every corner,“ he said and you could not stop the sob that shook your body and you were pretty sure you could hear your heart breaking. 
„I don’t love you. I never did,“ he said and the tears you had tried to hold in finally fell. 
„Get rid of this, before I take care of it,“ he said, and a chill ran down your spine at his tone. 
„And then get the fuck out of my life.“
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You were in the last touches of finishing cleaning the kitchen when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. 
You hadn’t even noticed the tears until Calvin pulled against his chest, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. 
„You wanna talk about it?“ He asked and you shook your head. 
„Not yet. Not ever if I’m honest,“ you mumbled and he chuckled. 
„Need to talk to him though,“ you said and leaned back, turning around to turn on the stove to heat up some water and make some tea for the both of you. Looking at the clock hanging on the wall you noticed that it was just before 5 am. 
„Don’t need to do anything,“ he said and opened the fridge, getting the lunch he had prepared the day before for his day out and grabbing some stuff to make himself a sandwich. 
„I can’t ignore him forever. As much as I would like to. He’s…. He’s here and he won’t go anywhere. Neither will we. So we have to…. Co-exist somehow.“
You both get to your tasks before you both sat down at the table, you with two mugs of tea, one for him, him with two sandwiches, one which he pushed towards you. 
„You still love him,“ your brother said after a while and you sighed, looking up at him. 
„Yeah. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t think I’l ever be able to forgive him for everything that happened,“ you smiled sadly. 
„Well,“ your brother said before he got up and put his plate in the sink.
„Then you should talk to him and tell him that so you can both move on with your lives.“
You followed him towards the front of the house where he put his shoes on and checked if he had everything in his little backpack for this first patrol. 
„What if he wants to be in their lives?“ You asked, nodding upstairs to where both your children were still sleeping. 
„Do you think he wants to? He made himself pretty clear from what you’ve told me,“ Calvin said. 
„I don’t know. It’s been a long time and he seemed…. He seemed really sorry? I just….“ You took a deep breath, shaking your head.
„Nope. I am not gonna spend any more time thinking about Joel Miller. I’m gonna go upstairs and take a two hour nap and then I’m gonna go and explore our new home while my children are learning stuff in an actual school,“ you said. 
„There you go!“ Calvin grinned.
„Be safe today!“ You said, grinning back and hugged him quickly. 
„You too,“ he smiled, before he opened the door, your face falling as you saw Joel stand on the porch, his hand held up in a fist as if he was about to knock. 
„I’m here to pick you up for patrol? Tommy’s gotta stay home today,“ Joel said as he looked between you and your brother. 
„Well that is gonna be fun,“ Calvin said, winking at you, before he stepped out and pulled the door shut behind him, giving Joel no chance to try to say anything more if he wanted to.
You watched them through the window next to the door as they walked down the porch and then down the street until they were out of sight. 
Letting your shoulders fall while you exhaled with a sigh you shook your head before you made your way upstairs. 
This was gonna be a long day. 
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Text
It has to happen because you made the rules
Hi babyyyy
I hope you’re not procrastinating
I feel like you are
Lemme tell you this then
STOP PROCRASTINATING STOP BEING LAZY
Dude you’re literally just laying down
How much lazier could getting in the void state get?
You’re “trying”
You’re asking “how”
There’s only so many “how’s” before you realize
There’s no more information to pile up
How about you just lay down
Forget everything your desires included
Just chill
My baby you’re too cute to be stressed
Stop doing that
Yo you don’t get this stressed to go to sleep do you?
I’m confused
So you can say dream
Sleep
Disassociate
Fantasize etc
You mean to tell me you can do ALL THESE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR 3D
But you can’t get in the void?
Yeah that’s right
You can’t
Why?
Cuz you assumed it
This is your life bitch
So why are you fighting against yourself?
You’re the one who discovered this
You’re the one who has been here since the beginning of YOUR time(birth)
You’re the one who’s gonna be in YOUR life forever
And YOU discovered the void and LOA
So if anything
Your self concept should be sky high
Cuz you’re that bitch
And you’ll always be
Nobody is above you
We are all baddies
We are all god
We are all powerful
All you’re doing
Is what I always tell you
On my other posts
Lay down
Use a method or don’t
It’s up to you
Use a subliminal or don’t
Your choice
But vibe
Literally don’t even think of your desires and don’t think of the void as a place
It’s not a place
It’s an experience
You dream
Not a place but an experience
Everything you’re doing
Even right now is an experience
Your home is a place
But you living in it and doing things in it
Is experiencing it
Experience is not equivalent to a place because places like homes restaurants etc are just places
Experiences would be whatever happens IN those places but it’s got nothing to do with the buildings
It’s what YOU are doing that creates the experience you had/have
It’s the energy that you have your awareness
Like you could see a house
Cool
By creating memories IN that house
You experienced living in it
That creates such experiences
I know it sounds confusing but let me break it down
The void is not a place
It’s an experience
Because when you’re openly willing to experience something you’re unconsciously giving yourself freedom and power and control to do that thing
Like I said
OPENLY experiencing
Because I know we all “experienced”(I’m tired of using this word now lol) some things that weren’t good
But guess what
You still hold the power to change those “experiences”
The void is inside of you
You can’t “go” there
You become aware of it and you experience it
It’s not a house
It’s not the bakery
It’s you
Your desires were yours the moment you said that you wanted it so there’s no need to worry or constantly try to get in the void only to get your desires if that’s your only goal
You’re cooked
Because why as a god
Are you so desperate to get your desires?
Chill bro
Your subconscious knows you better than you do
Because it developed way faster than you it makes up 95% of our brain power
You come out the womb already knowing how to cry
How to blink
Etc
Yes you eventually learn to walk crawl etc
Why
Because it was embedded into your subconscious mind in how to do that
You can still walk
And you’re how old? Think about it
Your subconscious mind IS THAT powerful it remembers everything you learned as a baby
It remembers things you don’t
Like mastering the void as a newborn
Who knows how many times we’ve probably accidentally gotten in the void as a little baby
I’ve heard stories about people saying they had to get in the void as a CHILD! But they didn’t know what it was
It’s meant to happen
You discovered the void
Not by accident
Although we can all enter everyday me in the world is capable what makes you special is that
YOU know you can
Others don’t
You discovered it for a reason
It’s meant to be
Things that are meant for you
A apart of you and it can never be APART from you
The void is kinda like your soulmate
It’s gonna always be there
It’s always been with you
Will always be
And no matter how much you procrastinate complain overcomplicate stress over nothing
You’re still gonna enter the void
Why
Because this was your first experience
You’re a pro at this already
You’ve been unconsciously doing this since your mothers womb
If you do something repeatedly on accident you can do it on purpose
Good day
Much love 🩵🩵
P.S Everyone has different opinions on what the void is
Or how they enter
This is mine only flow with what you resonate with
I love you Good Luck Queens!!!!
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batsythoughts · 1 day
Note
hiii, can we have a second part for the yandere! bruce with baby trapping 🥹 maybe some pregnancy kink
Of course you all can! I'm always willing to do continuations of any works I do or requests if you all ask nicely and I feel comfortable with it! And sorry this took so long to write. A lot of family stuff came up and I needed to take a step back for a while.
Part 2 of Yandere! Bruce Wayne and baby trapping!
As stated in the request, there is smut under the cut. Minors please do not interact with the post.
It had barely been a week since Bruce and you found out you were pregnant
Alfred had been discreetly informed so he could go buy your prenatal vitamins without any of the kids finding out
You all had agreed to do a reveal to them fairly quickly so they didn't find out themselves by accident
After some consideration, the both of you decided on a cake with a simple message
Bruce even got you to agree to let the message say 'It wasn't Jason'
"It's a bet the kids have on who would have a baby next. It's a family joke we have that's been going on."
You simply smiled at the explanation while saying it was okay as long as it was in a certain color
The next night a dinner, before anyone could get up from the table, Bruce said that Alfred made a special dessert for everyone
They all looked at one another in confusion as they tried to think of what the occasion was for a 'special dessert' to be made
When Alfred came in and set the cake in the center of the table, the kids stared at the written frosting with blank expressions
Jason was the first to react while throwing his hands up with a cheer
Dick started out with a huge grin before his eyes widen as he stared at Jason with disbelief all over his face
Tim and Damian shared a look for a moment before giving their congratulations
Cass smiled while looking between you and Bruce while asking multiple questions regarding the baby
Bruce smiled at the sight of all the people he loved celebrating the surprise of a new addition to the family
He gently took your hand in his while watching you happily eating the slice of cake Alfred cut for you
The first trimester was definitely interesting for the whole family with the random nausea, food cravings, and mood swings
Everyone worked together to help you deal with it as best as they were able to
Got a craving for something in the middle of the night that's not in the manor? Alfred told everyone and now Red Hood is in the store grabbing two of everything.
Your back hurting a little after getting off work? Tim has the heating pad on the couch for you as Cass gets a scented bath bomb that you might like so you can relax after dinner.
Randomly started crying? Dick and Alfred both stand nearby to hear you let out cries of whatever caused it
Damian would even offer to make you drinks that he had been taught were beneficial to both you and the fetus
Bruce was pleased that they were being so accepting of the situation instead of thinking you had been the one to cause the situation
The best thing though was a weekly ritual that only Bruce got to be apart of
An hour before he would go on patrol every Friday, you both would sit on the bed as his hands lightly caressed your stomach to carefully feel your body change over time
Even in the beginning when there wasn't anything to feel, Bruce enjoyed reliving the fact that he had gotten you pregnant successfully to keep you around
But he was still felt like you could do a bit more to be committed to the family
He wanted you to quit your job so you could be focused on him, the kids, and the baby with all your energy
Besides, he had more than enough money that you wouldn't have to worry about providing for yourself ever again
At first Bruce suggested going part time so you weren't straining your body too much while the baby was developing
You were hesitant at first, but relented and said you would ask your boss if it would be possible
It wasn't entirely what he wanted, it was just the start until you gave birth
You were beginning to tell the difference in your body after the two month mark with a slight firmness in your stomach
Bruce felt ecstatic as the days got closer to your due date
He did become concerned about the fact that you were showing a bit more than what was normal with all that he read
He even brought it up with the doctor at one of your appointments to ask if everything was alright
As they got the machine ready for the ultrasound, the doctor and nurse assured Bruce that everything should be alright with your hormone levels
The doctor began asking questions on how you were feeling and any issues you were experiencing
As they moved the wand over your stomach, the nurse stopped to look at the screen with a concerned look before her expression shifted to surprise
You became worried while asking what was wrong as the doctor focused on the screen before she got a similar look
"There's, um... there's two."
The screen was turned to face you both better as she pointed out the very close, but individual little blobs
You and Bruce stare in shock before you squeeze his hand with a soft coo
The doctor made sure to give you plenty of copies of the pictures before you left and made the next appointment
Bruce felt proud that you were giving him not one, but two children that would bind you to him for the rest of your lives
You told everyone that evening the news and they were thrilled by the prospect as well
Bruce had even signed up for a 'Baby and Me' class that meet up weekly
Of course that meant that everyone went and sat around you to retain any and all information that was being said to the class
A few of the other participants were judgemental and would whisper about how it should only be the expecting mother and father in the class
All the kids were quick to speak up and shut that down real quick with the woman who started it
"Wow Debra, that's really great advice. I'm sure your husband is proud of how outspoken you are."
"Speaking of husbands, where's your husband Debra?"
"Oh, he's working late like he always does? He must be worried about providing for you and the baby."
"I'm sure it's a very happy and loving marriage you have with him."
"But how long will it last, Debra?"
You quickly told the kids to behave while Bruce held back his smirk as the class finally began
Everyone paid attention to everything that was told, even asking questions about how to assist you through the whole process
Bruce was very proud of all his kids for being so willing to learn along with you during this stage in your life
As the weeks passed, the twins were growing healthy and making themselves known to the world
Their kicks profound enough that Bruce could sit on the other side of the couch and see the bumps they would make
He loved it most went you put headphones on your stomach while playing a small list of songs you made for the twins
"They can feel the vibrations! It is proven to be beneficial for development."
He only smiled while kissing the side of your head
Bruce had even made sure to have the baby room ready for the birth long before they were due
It did take a bit more time to keep the room neutral with the fact it was agreed to be a surprise of what you were having
But he made it work terrifically for whatever combination of twins you were carrying
With the help of Dick and Jason, of course. They refused to let Bruce try to put together the cribs and changing table that would hold their little siblings
It was always so adorable how you would go in to see the progress and coo at how everything was coming along
You of course gave an opinion on where you wanted things to go and the boys would move them without question or complaint
There was already two dressers full of baby clothes that all of them had picked out when going out shopping for any reason
Bruce adored it most that you had gotten a few maternity dresses that were elegant enough to wear to any galas he would attend
The looks that you would get from most of the people there didn't bother him
Despite the different reasons for the stares, he felt proud of the fact that everyone knew that you would always be his no matter who would try to change it
It became even better when he got a message from Alfred one day saying you had returned to the manor not long after you had went to work one day
He was worried when he finally returned that night to find you sulking in your shared room eating a bowl of fruit while wrapped in multiple blankets
Bruce hated the sight of you upset, but he hated that you seemed to be purposely hiding away the bump he was loving more every day
He sat down beside you as he waited for you to tell him what had happened at your job that morning
It took a few minutes before you finally mumbled out that you had impulsively quit your job
While he felt overjoyed, Bruce played the part of being concerned while asking what had occurred to cause it
You took another bite of your fruit while leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder
"One of the guys put his hand on the upper part of my stomach despite me telling them all not to do that. Then he asked me if... if my milk had come in."
Bruce clenched his jaw before apologizing for what happened, but gentle assured you that everything would be okay with him still providing for all of you
It took a few minutes of Bruce reassuring you that your actions were valid to preserve your self respect from the unsavory coworker you had
You gave a weak nod after a couple minutes before leaning further against for comfort
He held you to his chest while softly kissing your head and whispering affirmations to lift your spirits
That evening everyone noticed that you were feeling upset, but didn't push for an explanation so you could tell them if you felt comfortable
You gave a tired smile to the whole table while saying it was just a bad day at work and they shouldn't worry themselves
They all let you have a quiet night without arguments over anything until they went down to the cave to get ready for patrol
Bruce watched you prepare for bed with worry as you absent-mindedly went through your routine without a word
Before you could get into the bed, Bruce gently lead you over to the full length mirror he got for you that stood in one corner
He stood behind you as he rested his hands at the swell of your stomach while swaying back and forth
He placed kisses along your neck as his fingers danced over the bump while whispering against your skin
"You're such a good momma." "Doing your best for them already." "Providing me with the greatest gift."
Bruce continued with his praise as he watched the reflection until you finally cracked a smile
He carefully turned you around before connecting his lips to yours before guiding you over to the bed
He made sure you were completely settled in for the night before giving you a kiss and promising to return safely
The night had went by with only a few attempted muggings and a failed robbery of a gas station before the whole family returned
Bruce took a shower in the locker room and changed like every night so you wouldn't wake up from the noise
Bruce had tried to remain as quiet to not disturb you as he entered the room, but he saw that you were turning around under the comforter with soft whines
He thought you were just having a weird dream until you pushed up from the bed with a groan before meeting his gaze
He almost asked what was wrong as he walked towards the bed, but the words didn't need to be said with the way you bite your lip to keep back a pout
Now, you and Bruce had sex a few times since the pregnancy had started, but after you began showing he didn't want to potentially cause you any discomfort
He wouldn't deny the fact that he thought you were beautiful during the day doing any little thing
However, staring at you in the his bed with the light of the moon streaming in through the window and accentuating your features while one of the straps of your nightgown sliding of as you give him that pleading look
Bruce couldn't get in the bed quick enough after taking a moment to admire how breathtaking you were in that moment
He gently pushed you back to lay down on the mattress before lifting up the lower part of your sleepwear
He couldn't bother to remove your underwear as he pulled it to the side and immediately latched onto your clit
The startled moan you let out was a melody Bruce never wanted to forget as he passionately worked his tongue over the small nub
Wasting no time, he moved one hand to rest on your hip while the other went to prepare you
You laced your fingers in his hair the moment he pushed a finger into you for the first time in months
He slowly moved his hand as he listened to the way your breath hitched with each whine you gave before pushing a second finger in
He had only been at it for a minute before you gave a small cry and came undone by his fingers and tongue
Bruce smiled to himself as he worked you through the spasms before trailing kisses up your stomach, leaving a few attentive one underneath your breasts, until finally reaching your mouth
He didn't even give you time to protest the kiss as his abdomen pressed against you while lining up at your entrance
He made sure to go slow as he felt you shake slightly under him with your nails softly digging into his back
He kept his thrusts shallow as he pulled away to watched your expression as you let out small whines of pleasure
He moved one hand to rest on the side of your stomach as the other held your chin to keep you looking at him
He groaned at the way you tightened around him as he felt a small kick come from your lower stomach
He sweetly kissed you again before pulling away enough to speak with a smirk spread across his face
"Oh, aren't you just a beautiful momma?" "Still able to take me so well after so long." "I should just keep you like this for the rest of our lives."
Bruce gave a small laugh at the last thought as he gave one final thrust before you tightened around his cock
He almost let a small taunt out about you enjoying the idea of him already keeping you there, but just smiled as he trailed a finger over your cheek
It didn't take much longer for Bruce to find his own release with a deep groan
He waited a moment before pulling out and going to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth
He affectionately shook his head when he saw you had already fallen back to sleep with a calm grin on your face
He gently wiped the mess between you thighs away before tracing his fingers over you stomach for a a few moments
He quickly got rid of the cloth before putting on a fresh pair of boxers and slipping under the covers
Bruce moved his arms around you while laying down to get a few hours sleep himself
The next couple weeks, Bruce made sure to shower you with as much affection as he thought you deserved
You and the others simply assumed it was because you were steadily getting closer to your due date
But he did it to help build the emotional vulnerability you would ultimately go through after giving birth
He knew you would go through a strong surge of hormones that would cause you to rely on him even more
It all going to be for the best in the end because Bruce just needs you to realize how much he truly loves you and will always be there for you
What better way is there to convince someone to agree to marry you?
Bruce already had a ring picked out and the speech he would give on what each of the kids would do to be included in the wedding
He would still have you pick out all the important things that you wanted like the flowers, dress, location and every other aspect you wanted
But he had to be patient until after the twins had been born for at least a few months before asking you
But to get you to be apart of the family more than you already were? Oh, Bruce was nothing but determined.
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