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servin-up-surveys · 11 months

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survey #166

Are you interested in any reality TV shows? I like some like cooking shows or other competitions when I'm watching TV with others, which is the only time I ever watch television anyway. Historically I've fucking adored animal documentary series, like Meerkat Manor or Orangutan Island, and I remember I loved one featuring rhesus macaques as well, I just don't remember its name. I am VERY interested in watching animals just live their lives.

What’s your favourite thing to have on toast? Light butter, cinnamon, and sugar. Childhood delicacy, man.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever had to deal with at your job? So much social anxiety that I would end up in the bathroom having a total meltdown regularly. For external things though, just impatient people.

Do you think being born was a mistake? No.

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them? We currently only have the smallest species of dog lol, but we've had a boxer mix before. I'm not afraid of them at all, I love big dogs.

What is something you used to always do but don’t anymore? Once upon a time I lived off of soda, like it was ALL I drank for many years, but I've cut back immensely, I'm working towards getting to a point where I'll only drink one personal-sized (not a two liter) bottle a week. I enjoy soda more than I do eating, and I've absolutely noted that it can bump my mood up quite a bit, so getting to where I am now is a big fucking deal if you know me.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes, that's when I realized things had gone too far.

What’s your favorite hairstyle on the opposite sex? I sincerely love emo hair help 😭

Have you ever done a Mason jar craft? No, but I find those SUPER cute.

Who is your favorite photographer? Anastasiya Dobrovolskaya tops the list, her work is SO dreamy, and the animals featured are all humanely owned.

Were you shy in high school? Yes, but I'm way worse now.

Do you wish karma were real, or are you glad that it isn’t? Oh I very much wish it was real, but it's quite obvious to me that it's unfortunately not.

Who are the cutest babies in your Facebook newsfeed? None lol, I only have one friend with a child who is truly a baby instead of at least a toddler and god I love this person but the baby is NOT cute lol, but I very rarely find very young babies to be cute anyway.

Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all? Yes, I have two on each earlobe, and my right tragus is pierced. I want more.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? Nah, he's not into piercings for himself personally.

Do you actually love your parents? I most certainly do.

Do you know anyone autistic? My niece, and I am FINALLY being evaluated for it myself I want to say next month. I know I have at least one autistic acquaintance, too.

How about someone bipolar? That I'm already diagnosed with, type two. My oldest sibling is also bipolar, but she has type one.

Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? I celebrate yearly ones, yes.

What was your very first pet like? He was a long-haired (I'm pretty sure silkie breed) orange and white guinea pig named Squeak. <3 He loved attention and was such a character, always gentle and we'd do excited guinea pig squeaks back to each other haha. <3 He was sadly kept in an inadequate cage (you know, the shitty rectangle ones you find at chain pet stores that are actually horrible for them), but I of course didn't know better with how young I was, but he was always a good boy. I'm thankful he lived the proper lifespan for the little guys, I just wish I'd been aware enough to give him a more enriched life.

What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? I actually really find D&D to be super interesting; I have multiple friends who do it and wish I had that level of comfort to do stuff like that without being embarrassed by it, I NEVER could do it, I'm way too fuckin awkward.

Have you ever pet a cow, a sheep or a pig? I've pet a small pig. <3 I'd love to pet a cow and sheep too, though!

What is the wallpaper on your best friend's cell phone? IT'S LITERALLY JUST FUCKING GRAY I DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM LIKE WHY

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents? I adore his mother, she's such a fucking sweetheart with a ginormous heart and is SO damn accepting. She's been an absolute darling to me ever since she met me. I never met his dad, he died of a very sudden heart attack or something similar like over ten years ago, so I'm not comfortable making a judgment about him. I know Girt's always explained him as having been a hardass, but a very caring one that loved his family to death. He's mentioned that me and him are quite different, primarily politically, so we might've butted heads but he was ultimately pretty confident that he would've loved me. I really like hearing stories about him, and pictures are always super cool because holy SHIT Donald Sr. put his fuckin face through a copying machine and plastered it onto his son lmfao, like it's unreal.

Do you like Polaroid photography? YES, I find it super super aesthetically pleasing and so nostalgic; I myself would really like to have one to take fun little pictures with it sometimes.

Is there a friend of yours who curses nonstop? Who would that be? Haha you mean me? Girt's even worse than I am though, he's one of those people that will curse freely in public, not to be rude or provoke people, but because he just straight-up doesn't realize he does it. He's the person who has more than once gone "SHIT I shouldn't be cursing" NOT quietly in public lmao, I've sometimes just had to give him a lil nudge for him to realize when in public or around kids. Girt is extremely intelligent, he really really is, but he will often just do things very mindlessly and without evening beginning to realize that he's doing them.

What internet browser do you use? Chrome.

What do you usually do to let your feelings out? Listen (usually very loudly) to music, vent to people I trust, sometimes do artistic stuff like write or draw. I cry very easily, and sometimes doing that will help relieve stress. On VERY few occasions I've screamed into a pillow, and boy does it feel good when I'm REALLY upset enough, even though I absolutely hate doing it. Even though I know factually it's harmless and is even a good way to ease frustration in a way that doesn't hurt others or property, I feel like an aggressive person the few times I've let myself do it and just really don't like that.

What was the last thing you uploaded/plugged into the computer? Uploaded, a picture from my phone. I last plugged in my phone to charge; it fits the charger for my mouse so I can use it when I'm in here.

Are you participating in Project 365 (you take a picture of you/something every day of the year and post it)? I've considered doing this with photography, and I'm certain it would further train my artistic eye, I just... haven't. I'm not really one to take pictures with my real camera unless I really desire to take a certain picture, I don't just trash it up with random things. I honestly should let myself do this though, I KNOW it would be beneficial as an artist.

Do you have a Flickr? If so, post the link. Yeah, it's Ozzkat on there, but I don't use it very much at all. It's a lower-priority art platform for me, I mainly focus on deviantART despite the fact I quite dislike the website now for how aggressively and unabashedly it endorses AI "art." I've just been there the longest and have the biggest following there by far, so...

Do you think it’s dumb when a band smashes their instruments, or do you find it totally radical? I honestly do find it dumb, like... why. Why destroy what is generally a great quality instrument if you're a band playing it on stage to an audience. If you want a new guitar or some shit, just donate or even SELL the damn thing, don't break and waste it.

Have you ever made a gif? If not, do you think it’d be interesting to make one? I've made many over the years for various purposes, yeah. I tend to go through episodes of making them and then not.

When you feel uninspired, do you feel like you need to go somewhere to become inspired? Not really, actually. I tend to become inspired by observing others' artwork and stuff. It is very much about the content I surround myself with.

Have you ever lived on a university campus? No.

Do you play any games on your phone? Only Pokemon GO. I would like to be able to play more, but my phone is trash with VERY limited memory, I've had to delete plenty of things just to keep that one game updated and therefore playable, lol.

Have you ever shaved your face? Yes, there's this tool I use that's not quite a razor, it's a vibrating tube thing that looks almost like a lipstick case, but I use it on my upper lip, chin, and I've started to use it between my eyebrows too.

What was the last vaccination you got? It was a tetanus vaccine refresher, I think?

Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper? Eminem, and probably "Love the Way You Lie," I was OBSESSED with that song when it was new. I also like "Space Bound" a lot, though.

How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Oh fuck. For Ozzy it's proooobably "Trap Door," but I'm also very much adoring of "See You on the Other Side" (actually listened to it today) and "Mama I'm Comin' Home." The Rammstein song I enjoy the most in terms of catchiness/most often in the mood to listen to is "Zick Zack," however I consider my ultimate favorite by them to be "Stein um Stein" because it's a fucking artistic storytelling masterpiece imo.

Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Juan probably did at some point in high school.

Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Oh yes, I wasn't afraid of the dentist until recent times when I was finally paying for neglecting my teeth due to depression and I now realize also executive dysfunction issues later in the timeline. I had a lot of cavities, a few that were quite severe, and fixing one required me to get a numbing shot THROUGH THE ROOF OF MY FUCKING MOUTH, like I could FEEL the needle go through and deep into my fucking gums, and it was my worst EVER experience with a needle, that shit HURT. I'm finally getting better with taking care of them, thank fuck; I think seeing how severe the consequences were becoming really kicked my ass into gear. It doesn't matter if I hate my body, it's my responsibility and I'm going to do all I can to make it better and comfortable to live in. I also had braces for a large chunk of growing up, and getting them tightened always commenced a very painful few days afterwards for all of my teeth. I recently had a wisdom tooth yanked out, and while the numbing shots did suck, they definitely used an adequate amount of it 'cuz I sure didn't feel anything other than pressure. I only got scared when the tooth broke, the sound made me jump.

Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? Jason. I doubt I'll ever get the chance, but god do I wish I could express how sorry I am to his face. I also want to apologize to Sara for how I severed our friendship, I should have been more direct (I had my honest reasons for thinking it was better not to be so confrontational, but I know now that I was wrong in that part), but I know it's better that I don't stir up settled dust. It's better for both of us that we just don't have contact with each other. Like yes, I think it would help me to just get my apology off my chest, but when you consider I don't seek reconciliation with her whatsoever, it'd be a pointless amount of possible upset.

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? HELL NO, we're dating and serious with each other so even going a day without some amount of contact is out of the question for us. A month without talking to him would be MISERABLE.

How has your style changed since you were in high school? Well back then I was your average emo kid, still pretty emo at heart but a bitch is wearing comfortable shit these days, lol.

What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? Strawberry banana smoothies.

What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked? Probably how it is now, but when it was newly dyed a seaweed-y green.

Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No, neither of my parents grew up in NC. Well actually, during my last college attempt I DID have an English teacher that previously taught my mother like a semester prior; she got her degree only a few years ago.

Where’s the nearest GameStop near you? Shit bro, probably not even three minutes. It's in the same complex where our Wal-Mart is.

What was the last thing you took a video of? Probably either Roman or Cookie being silly.

What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? Overdosing on cold medicine.

Do you believe your ex cares about you? No. Maybe he does, but I'm not so sure about that.

What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex? Girt said something about me being a positive influence, which meant a lot.

Have you ever been to an orchard? No, but I'd REALLY like to.

Who was the last family member of yours that died? My maternal grandmother, that I know of.

What is your favorite color for cars? Pinks, of course. I am also a big lover of burnt orange cars.

Do you have any gay family members? I know I have at least one on Mom's side, it's like her distant cousin or something, I'm not entirely sure on what he is to her.

Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? She instigated the breakup, so her.

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? No, I know I'm an extreme minority that gets zero enjoyment out of porn. I'd only be bothered if my partner seemed more into watching that than doing things with me, his actual girlfriend. I don't know or care if this is something he does when I'm not around, and if he does okay cool, I don't feel like I'm actually competing with a porn star or whatever. I suppose maybe this would depend on who my partner IS too, like I deeply trust Girt and what he feels for me so the idea of him watching it does nothing to me. It's not like he'd actually pursue his favorite porn star or whatever.

Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters? I've had a few hermit crabs in my life and very briefly a turtle that I shouldn't have even had.

What is your favorite type of cat? Oriental shorthairs!!!!!!! I REALLY want one of these one day.

What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? I'm walking in there right beside her and holding her hand if she's fine with it. She will have NO doubts that she is loved and supported.

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Either Jason or Girt, depending. The night of the breakup when Jason very briefly came over to check on me because of shit I said, I was FUCK-ING HYSTERICAL, but Girt came to the ER following my suicide attempt because I tagged him as someone I directly wanted to say thanks and bye to, and I feel like that was truly my lowest point ever in life, in that hospital bed with an IV in me wearing scrubs. I was ready to die and was so done with existence, I was dirty and hideous and crying but he stayed for a while anyway.

Are you sitting in a spinning chair? Yes.

Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I definitely avoid them if I can, but I'm more comfortable going depending on how well-kept the place is. For example, I'm WAY more comfortable using the restroom in like The Cheesecake Factory versus a gas station, haha. If I gotta go though, I gotta go, I just do the thing where you place toilet paper over the seat.

Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you’re dating? Like, the person I'm CURRENTLY dating, or any partner I've ever had? Either way I think no; I know they've always approved of Girt, but I suppose Dad might have not been thrilled about me dating a girl once, but I really have no idea what exactly he felt. As it turned out Mom didn't like Sara either, but it had nothing to do with her being another woman, she was fine with me dating a girl.

Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No.

What’s the last chore you did? Vacuumed.

What is your favorite jungle animal? Very close call between tigers and clouded leopards. I'm also quite fond of kinkajous!

Is your father injured? He has a bad back and has for a very long time, but I don't think he has any noteworthy, current true "injuries."

Are you part Native American? No.

What are your pets’ names? Roman, Venus, and Cookie.

Have you ever worked two jobs? No, I can pretty fucking much GUARANTEE I would never be able to do that.

Who is the oldest sibling in your family? Katie.

What are some of your happy thoughts? Being with Girt, a hopeful happy and content future together, the idea of being a successful photographer who gets to travel a good amount, having a poetry book published, be surrounded by well-provided-for and loved pets one day... just a lot of visions of the future I want.

What are the names of all the dogs you’ve ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Harley (maybe? I can't remember if she only stayed with Ashley?), Cali, Bentley, I think her name was Lola (we had her very briefly), and now Cookie. Maybe one more in there somewhere, I feel like Mom's mentioned a dog's name that I don't remember at all before.

Would you ever get a face tattoo? I'd NEVER get a big one, but I'm doubtful I'll even get a tiny one. I'm quite sure I don't want any on my face.

How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? I have no way of knowing that because I've never been involved in the finances of anywhere I've lived.

Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Uhhhh... that's hard? There are multiple people who come to mind, all in different sorta ways, but I SUPPOSE the absolute strongest would ultimately be for my older sister's three kids. I would fucking kill for them, with ZERO hesitation.

What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? I really, really enjoyed being called a spineless, weak-willed deadweight that exaggerates her trauma, that was super cool.

Who do you think was the worst criminal in history? Probably Adolf Hitler, but idk. There have been many sick people, but Hitler definitely left the biggest impact with I'm assuming the largest casualty numbers in his name.

Which laws would you most like to change? Abortion needs to be a GLOBAL right, heightened gun control is FUCKING mandatory, LGBTQ+ rights should be a guarantee everywhere under the sun, capitalism should fucking burn to the ground, and I know there are SO many more, I'm just drawing a blank atm while knowing I'm missing very obvious shit.

Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn’t? I can confidently say I've never wanted that.

Who have you most feared in your life? My dad.

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? The being that already has a novel's worth of thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, and memories comes WAAAAAAY fucking before the developing cells that have none of those. Full fucking stop.

What one natural thing would you most like to see? Aurora borealis.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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taeyamayang · 2 years

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Thor probably is a troublemaker, he’s just like 80% blind with his one eye so we don’t know what mischief is because of his blindness and what mischief is just Thor being a menace. But one thing is for sure, heS ALWAYS IN THE WAY! we know it’s not his fault, but a day doesn’t go by where we don’t trip over him at least ONCE. Laying around sleeping and eating all day sounds nice, Momo has the right idea LMAO. I remember a few years ago when finals rolled around I texted my group of friends that I have decided to become a cat because all they have to do is sleep, eat and look cute and I’m already good at all three of those things.

Apparently back in the 90s (I think) reformatory schools were very common and many of which would grab you in the middle of the night and take you to the school. It was common enough that they called it the “Elan snatch” or something like that. Schools like those don’t really exist anymore since the internet and social media made communication a lot easier and no one wanted their kids to go to such a school. that was the one I mentioned last time (elan), it was a Reformatory school but many prep schools that were all snazzy and fancy had some sort of cult within it, whether it be larger or smaller. Especially if they are religious. I know there are many non-cult boarding schools out there but let just say it’s easy to manipulate children when their parents aren’t around.

Also I JUST finished Tokyo Revengers hours before reading the last message. Honestly it left me with a lot of ????? Like wtf just happened, they can’t end the season like that!!! Oof.

Your school uniforms seem so cute! Religious schools kinda scare me tho- (im rereading the message as I write mine on notes so I don’t miss anything and just reread that you went to a religious school…after I said many were cult like??? IM SO SORRY! Like I mentioned earlier not all religious schools are like that and plus you didn’t go to boarding school so) it’s probably because I know that some people take religion differently and much more seriously than others? Like religion can be an amazing thing to help you find yourself, or it could be a harmful thing that controls others. As a queer person, I know of the terrible things that people do for the sake of religion, but I also know that people do amazing things for religion as well. I’ve just heard some crazy things about religious schools in America so I’m kinda weary but you live in a totally different continent and there are many different religions so. But it seems like you went to a really good school by the way you talk about it lol. I had a lot of anxiety in school- I say that like I’m not anxious now after I graduated but anyway- so I only focused on myself with a few friends. I literally didn’t know anyones name or anything like that so when anyone mentioned anybody I was like ????? Who?? I was so outta the loop omg. I didn’t really mind since it kept me outta the drama and people weren’t really my thing anyways so lol. Congrats on being a sports captain and in a school play!! That seems awesome and I could NEVER. Im not sporty at ALL. I played some volleyball at the residential I was at but it wasn’t really serious? I have a shit ton of random ass health problems so sports were never really my thing. I’m also ver uncoordinated and awkward, especially as a child and would often zone out while waiting for the ball or anything. High key would be thinking about a fanfic I wanted to write as the ball flew right past me- oops. I’m not sure if I mentioned this before but i always used to get hit by balls- even when I wasn’t playing??? Like it would make sense if I was but I would just be vibing they BAM! I get hit in the head with a basketball?? From outta nowhere?? I’m suprised I was never concussed. My gym teacher felt bad for me so he let me walk laps instead of playing with balls LMAO. I like to preform and have stage fright as well LOLOL. I think I would be a good actor since I am used to getting in character every time I write a new character or anything (yknow, just writing things) but I’m awkward, shy and hate the sound of my own voice smh. I used to wanna be a singer but puberty hit and my singing voice just dipped smh. But ok??? You can sing! I see you girl! I’m glad your friends signed you up for an audition (even if it pissed you off lol) because it seems like you had a good time lol. I know what it’s like to pull a 180 on your classmates like that because if I ever got passionate about something in class I go all out and my classmates are like ??????. Or if one of my classmates was also in one of the smaller classes with me (smaller classes help reduce anxiety and stuff and again- I had a lot of it) they would see how loud and obnoxious I could be since I’d didn’t have a filter since most of those kids were in the majority of my small classes and my teachers were cool. I would also love to hear what drama you were sucked into lol.

It does suck that I have to censor myself sometimes when it comes to the school, bust sometimes it’s just easier to say “boarding school” bc you have to explain a lot less lol. The school was fucking messy. Like the idea and thought was there, but the place itself was messy. Putting that many kids with that many very different problems never really ended up well. It helped me because my main problem was the self hatred I had for myself because I felt so different and being in a place full of people with problems like mine or worse that all tried their best to exist and persist despite them made me see that I shouldn’t pity myself anymore and see that I deserve to be treated kindly by everyone- including myself. I was and still am very lucky that I have such a supportive family that was there for me all the way- the majority of the kids there didn’t have that.

I’m glad you appreciate the stick figure drawings 😭 I’m not always the best at describing things so I felt like I needed to do a quick sketch lol. Don’t get me wrong, they are both trouble makers in their own way. Kayla does whatever she wants with very little consideration for others or herself. Daia is actually pretty chill and level headed till she gets pissed off or feels like something isn’t fair or right. But yeah I could see her as Chucky sometimes lol. Yeah, life there was problematic and it sucked sometimes- ok it sucked a LOT of the time but I made some memories there and met some people there that I’ll never forget. One day I do hope I can publish a novel about my time there and maybe get it turned into a tv show. I want mental health to be normalized, whether it be the good the bad or the ugly, since I never got that as a kid even though it would have helped me a lot. I’m not sure that would be a good idea because I don’t want it to seem like I’m glamorizing mental health problems, yknow? Plus the majority of the people that would be in the story would be minors and A. That’s a lot of mental turmoil for any child, even if they are acting B. No children should be going through it, even the children the characters are based on C. Kids wouldn’t be able to watch the show, even if it was based on my life as a child. It would be strange to have a tv show with the main cast being children and they couldn’t watch it. I think it would be taken the wrong way, even if intentions. Honestly, I’m suprised that Kayla didn’t need to go to the hospital, I think she just got a few bruises at most. Luckily the staff held Daia back when I couldn’t LOLOL. We got assigned our roommates by age. There could only be a five year age gap between the roommates which left me with the same three people or so each time we changed rooms. But I hate how teachers in general thinking sitting a rowdy person next to a quiet one would do any good. This happened to me and my sister when we were in elementary school and it’s so obnoxious. Like I don’t get paid to babysit??? I come here to learn and get you sit me next to a kid who you know will disrupt my learning??? Also the difference between our schools is INSANE. Honestly you need to watch “American public school tiktoks” I feel like my residenal was required to be chaotic in some ways because it was “therapeutic” but man, public schools are a DIFFERENT BREED in America.

Honestly I didn’t understand that slim thicc and thicc slim either sjbsjaja we weren’t allowed to wear anything revealing so I didn’t really try like other girls did since we would be told to change immediately. And LMAO LOCKER ROOM CONVOS ARE UNIVERSAL I SEE!!!

and don’t worry I’m an introvert as well, I understand about not responding right away, I just am the opposite where it feels wrong if I don’t respond asap smhhhh

OMG YOU FINISHED TR? right after the anime i read the manga bc oh boy the cliffhanger. then, i got so into it i read like 100 chapters in a day to the point where my head hurts lmaoo. are you going to read the manga too?

dude, i just watched the entire 50min smth video about elan school and holy shitttt that used to be a facility? it's also terrifying how almost majority of dehumanizing activities are pioneered by someone who has psychology as their degree (that's my degree 💀) but you know it always starts with someone thinking they have it all figured out and "testing it" more like, experimenting it on people like they're subjects to research. this is precisely why in my course, research ethics is highlighted in every unit and we also talk about the unacceptable deeds early psychologists/psychiatrists did. the elan school got me hooked i hope the original post on reddit is still there cos i want to read it lol.

it's alright omg i studied in a religious school and if that creeps you out it's fine lmaooo contrary tho, here in my country when someone went to a religious school esp if it's exclusive to one gender we always have the prim, proper, and classy stereotype but that isn't the case 💀 even though that was the impression the school has to outsiders, it's different when you are experiencing it. honestly, i think the reason why i knew that i'm gay as young as 12/13 years old is because of the ideology the insititution builtㅡtho it's built so we can be straight competitive women in the future that obviously didn't work well with me. i mean they said love people for who they are and now i love both genders lmaooo kidding aside, although i am raised by a religious family esp my dad and a religious school i am never really /that/ religious(?) since i am exposed to the in and outs of the church i am also aware of their dirty tactics. hence, i gained the habit of questioning everything (also the fact i have trust issues lol) i am not a blind follower and i dont even know if i'm supposed to be called religious just bc i spent more than half of life in that school. the concept religion is hazy for me but i am aware that religion works well for other people. it's therapeutic for them and i respect that. but the thing is (and ig the point of this entire blabber) from what i have observed, even if you try to instill an idea or faith on someone by caging them in an environment that harbors it, it won't work. my school was overall good in terms of disciplining us and in academics but they have rules that are just plainly absurd. like, we were encouraged to have boyfriends as young as 7th grade but if you get too close to a classmate you will get called to counseling and be suspected to dating "your friend" even tho they are really just a friend to you. it sucks cos the word gets out to parents. my country isn't that open to homosexuals yet and the parents who sent their children to religious are ofc religious by nature. so when the word gets out a sense of shame is brought to your family (think of mulan, last names matter and the glory you bring to your family matters as well). it was extremely difficult for my lesbian classmates to pretend they like boys and to conceal their way of expressing their sexuality. we have rules for short hairs. it has to be short but long enough to be feminine. we are not allowed to wear long skirts. most of the lgbt members in my school sport longer skirts cos shorter ones make them feel more comfortable cos they don't have to keep their knees together at all times. at the same time short skirts are not allowed as we may be seen as "slutty". we have specific colors allowed to wear in school (3 colors only to be exact and 2 of which is black and white), never had phones, no dangling earrings, no piercings just the original 2, our pe shoes has to be in the same brands as others, we wear headband with our surnames sewed in it during tests (tho i saw other asian countries who does the same? the purpose is to catch if someone's cheating), no accessories, no polish, if found that you're wearing a lip tint or light foundation you'll be reprimanded to take it off, i can go on and on about these rules that made me feel more or less controlled. in our neighboring schools we were called a cult (tho it's a joke) cos when we go out during field trips and we all look the same. even the pen that everyone uses is almost always the same LMAO. this reminded me of the elan and tho the latter is an extreme case, i think the standford prison experiment holds true and timely. people in authority has the urge to control their subordinates into compliance. it can be beneficial but sometimes it's abused and overlooked. we are coined prim, properly, and classy in exchange of small freedoms.

ANYWAY THAT WAS A LONG RANT I'M SORRY TSBDBSMDBSJ

i am not sure if "sporty" is the right word to describe me? cos back in hs i wasnt sporty but rather adventurous. i have a lot of interests and tho trying smth new sort of scares me i do it anyway (a masochist yes lol) so i tried a lot of things! i was in wnba camp (womens nba) but but was never serious about it. i'm sorry to hear that you're always receiving end of flying balls (and sorry for laughing gemshs jkjk) OHMYGOD HOW IS YOUR HEAD THO 😭. speaking of writing maybe i can give you prompt it's from a personal experience! op is walking out of the gym and the vball team is practicing. the ball lands on op's head then the "star"/ace/famous player of the team approaches op to apologize. everyone including the main character is surprised to know that the player knows their name. and the player will be like "how can i not know?"/"we spent *insert event* few months ago" the event was short and op can't believe the player still remembers. tag me when you write!! ;) about the theater i did, i was a police officer so i had the miranda rights memorized and i hold a gun. the officer i had to play as has a tough personality and all that. the musical is about prostitution, drugs, basically the realities in society. at first, we werent allowed to perform the play as it was too "morbid". the nums didn't like the genre and theme but we pushed for it. in the end, we sold tickets for a good cause.

about your school, although it gave you not-so-good memories i am glad you had a take away from your experience. loving oneself is hard. i learned it the tough way and i'm sure many of us had similar experience. it's hard to learn how to love a person you've known the longestㅡyourself. about the writing plan you have OMG THAT SOUNDS AMAZING??? I WOULD READ YOUR NOVEL 100% i don't think it's glamorizing mental health tho esp if it came from your personal experience. you are simply stating your experiences and all that. i personally think that people should be more exposed to mental health. it should be normalized that there are people who are going through it and that's okay. it's a medical condition much like any other physiological conditions. a person with a condition is never described through their diagnosis and people should know that. i can only imagine how hard it is for you to adjust in an environment as such as the boarding school you attended but i'm glad you have a supporting family. you must love them so much :'). i hope you push through with your novel and tv show dream!! i'll be here to support you and i hope one day i'll see your name at the back of a book or in a credits role. damn, i'll be sooooo proud of you and i'll definitely remember our conversation :D YOU ALWAYS GET SIT NEXT TO A PROBLEM CHILD OHMYGOD YES ME TOO since i rarely talk and "obedient" i always get sit next to a problem child. i have variety of seatmates: one that always talks in class, the isolated, the weird one, aggressive and short tempered, the cool girl, the suspected gay (and is gay), the smoker, the guidance kid, etc. tho i end up in good terms with all of them LMAO tho the first days were soooo awkward

segway, yesterday i watched a documentary in netflix called "the most hated man in the internet" and HOLY SHIT THAT WAS WILD but i love it how a loving mother could save a number of women across america. if you haven't watched it i recommend you to go for it!! if you're interested in documentaries and crime :)

my reply took ages bc i wrote half of this before my family and i went across the country to attend a wedding and when i got back home i also went back to writing to you too!

thank you for understanding my low social energy lol i hope to hear more from you, myve! ♡

#myve.😸#pea.asks

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mayfieldss · 3 years

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hey girl! how have you been?🤍

I think your requests are open. If they aren’t you could totally ignore this!

Ok so I read a similar fic a little while ago and I had an idea for a bucky x y/n and I thought you’d do amazing with this.

Tony is throwing a party and Bucky doesn’t want to go since he’ll have to socialize so he stays in his room. Some random girl comes in by mistake since she was trying to escape the party as well and they start talking. Bucky can’t stop thinking about her and then sees her again a couple days after the party and realizes she’s a new agent who’s working at the compound.

Ok that probably sounds so bad🙈 ahaha sorry! you could totally change it and do whatever you want lol

but thank you very very much!❤️✨

I love this idea so much and I just hope I did it half the justice that it deserves. I really hope you like it.

On party business - Bucky Barnes

Buckyxfemreader

Warnings: None unless you're Steve Rogers and coarse language is an issue for you.

AN: Don't mind me venting some of my social anxiety issues through this fic...

The party was loud and busy as would be expected at one of Tony Starks infamous get-togethers. You were only here because you didn’t feel like you could refuse the invite, and how many times could a person be invited to a Party by hosted by Tony Stark? So you went along, instantly regretting the decision as soon as you walked into the compound. It was packed with dancing men and women, some holding drinks while others were grinding their bodies together. Many were sitting on couches enveloped in conversations which you doubted you would be invited into. You didn’t know anyone. Finding the clearest route through the people you made your way to the Bar. There was no way you could get through this night without downing a drink first, if not two or three. Taking a seat on one of the stools you glanced around the room hoping the night would go by faster. - Bucky hated Parties. He hated how many people would surround him, ask him questions in their drunk states and caress his Metal arm with their sticky, alcohol covered fingers. There were also the ones that would avoid him completely as well. The ones that were still wary of him despite knowing he was no longer the Winter Solider. Those people were a part of his everyday life however, so he didn't mind them as much, having been accustomed to so many living in fear of him already. This in mind, it still hurt to think nobody trusted him enough to be around him. It made it so the Winter Solider was always with him, people only seeing him as his past. So Bucky didn’t leave his room. Nobody at the Party would want him there anyway, they wouldn’t miss his presence. He sat on his bed and read his books, cleaned his boots, wrote in his journal. This way nothing unexpected could ever happen. - You’d been at the party for no more than two hours and were already aching to leave. There were too many people around for your liking, none of them paying any interest in you as you stood in the corner next to the bar. Most were shitfaced drunk, you managing to stay sober despite the circumstances. You never let yourself over drink at parties after seeing some of your past friends making the most embarrassing mistakes during your high school years. Some got tattoos or had one night stands, others posted videos of themselves on the internet for all to see or sent an embarrassing message to their ex. Making a promise to yourself in high school you told yourself to never let yourself become like them. You planned to keep that promise. Pushing your way to through the crowd you made you way to one of the many staircases attempting to get away from the storm of people surrounding you. Some swore at you as you moved your way past them, holding onto the handrail for security to avoid any drama as people shoved you back. You weren’t trying to be rude but you had to get away. Once at the top you moved quickly down the hallway to the left of you, turning each doorknob you passed, looking desperately for a room that was unlocked to be your place of refuge. Five doors later and a doorknob twisted with ease allowing you entrance. You pushed the door open in a hurry, rushing into the room without so much as a glance around. Closing the door behind you you rested your forehead gently upon its wood with a sigh. You were so relived to find an escape from the over peopled space outside of this room, finally taking a breath only for it to catch in your throat at the sound of another's presence. It was the sound of a closing book, it wasn't being slammed shut but just gently closed and you could hear the pages slap lightly against each other. Your shoulders tensed and you reached for the doorknob readying yourself to leave. "You okay?" It was the voice of a man, deep and steady. Calming somehow. Slowly retracting your hand from the doorknob you turned to face the stranger of that you had walked in on. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here. I was just trying to get away from the crowd". Your back was pressed to the door and you hands itched to reach for the doorknob again, every part of you

wishing to get out of the uncomfortable encounter. The man gave a small awkward smile and shuffled himself to the edge of the bed he was lying on, placing his feet on the ground. He was wearing cat socks and you couldn't stop the smile forming on your lips. He looked at you confused, and followed your gaze to his feet an embarrassed blush forming on his cheeks. "I like them a lot, where'd you get them?" You asked not wanting him to feel self-conscious over something as simple as a pair of socks. He simply shrugged "Can't remember honestly". You could tell he did remember and that he probably had whole draws full of the fuzzy feet warmers but you didn't overstep any more than you already had, having been in his room and all. "I guess I should go" You point behind you to the door you were leaning against, biting the inside of your cheek anxiously. You could taste the blood in your mouth from the harsh grazing of your teeth. "I'm so sorry for bothering you". You reached for the doorknob your fingers wrapping around it tightly as you were so close to your escape. "Wait" Freezing in your place you took his words more seriously than he meant them to be. You had been so close to leaving and you contemplated pulling the door open and making a run for it. He seemed to understand your discomfort "You don't have to but if you want to stay here until the party calms down a little you can". There was a silence and you regarded his proposal before turning back around to face him, keeping a hand pressed firmly to the wood of the door. "Are you sure I wouldn't be bothering you?". The man shook his head, a short laugh escaping his lips "Yeah I'm sure. God knows I need to be more social". This made you frown, not understanding how he could say such a thing when there was a very social party right outside his door. "If you need to be social you shouldn't be out there?" You waved behind you again keeping your eyes on the man in front of you. He had bright blue eyes that seemed to stare into the deepest parts of your soul, but not in the threatening way from which it would seem. They felt safe and trustworthy. He wore a grey T-shirt over a long sleeved black thermal, jeans and of course those wonderful cat socks. He seemed kind enough and you felt your stress fade the smallest bit as you took in his features. The man with the undeniably beautiful eyes shook his head at your question "I'm not fond of crowds". You had to agree with him there. You always felt uncomfortable around masses of people especially in small spaces. You had Your social anxiety to thank for that wonderful fault. It wasn't like you could help it, You tried to but it was difficult to stand being cramped together with a bunch of strangers. "I understand what you mean" You lifted your gaze from his for a second and looked around his room. It was neat and tidy, everything organized and in its own little home where it belonged. "You are very-' you paused, thinking of a word to describe the place, "-Clean". He nodded "I've had issues with people controlling me in the past, this is just one thing I feel l can make my own". The change of tone in his voice startled you, how important this was to him and the hidden pain that appeared behind the blue eyes you had grown to adore within the short minutes of knowing him. Sliding your back down the door you sat on the floor of his room staring back at him on his bed. You couldn't deny that you didn't want to go back out into the bustling hallway filled with drunken fools. So you had made the decision and decided to stay. He looked shocked by your movements and a frown began to form on his face as he shuffled closer to the wall next to his bed. "You can sit up here if you want, I can move if you feel uncomfortable with me up here too, or I can get you a chair" He sounded so sincere and the gentleman in him pleased you. You doubted any other man you had met on this night would have been so kind but you declined his offers, already feeling like a burden in his room. "It's okay, I'm fine here". You could tell he didn't

like your answer, that he wanted to get up so you could sit on the bed or get you the chair that he suggested. You sent him a smile to reassure him you were okay where you were. After a moment of silence he spoke "So you don't like parties?" You let yourself chuckle "You could say that yeah". "Why?". It took a moment to register his question fiddling with your hands, cracking your knuckles. "Same reason as you I guess, Its hard to feel accepted around people you don't know, I feel like their judging me. It makes me uncomfortable". You had no idea why you told him that but once it left your lips you couldn't take it back. It was okay though, it wasn't as embarrassing as you thought it would be when you looked up to see his understanding eyes. "But you know people here right? Friends that know you?" His head was tilted to the side, just a little, and he reminded you of a puppy. A handsome blue eyed puppy. You shook your head "Not here no, and even if I did they wouldn't really know me" Once again you shared more than was needed but it felt so easy to say, it came out before you could think the words over and there was no shame in saying the words like you thought there would be. He didn't seem bothered by them either, more like he knew where you were coming from. "What's your name?" "Bucky". You liked that name a lot. It was a nickname obviously but it suited him so perfectly and you felt so comfortable at hearing it. It was almost indescribable, the way he seemed to be telling himself what his name was as well as you. It made you even more curious, all the unknowns about the person in front of you, Bucky, that you wanted to learn. "What's yours?" You frowned "What's my what?" as soon as the words left your lips you felt stupid, so entranced by him that you were barley thinking of the conversation at hand. A smile formed on his face "What's your name?" You could feel your cheeks burning in embarrassment and you struggled for words through flustered state. "Of course um- it's Y/n" You felt so stupid and looked down at your hands trying to seem unbothered, pretending that what had just happened never did. You had never been good at dealing with embarrassment and you chose to keep your head down whenever something embarrassing happened. That had started in high school as well. How easy it was to be teased for the smallest things had brought upon you the stress and anxiety you held with you to this very day. "I like that name" Bucky's words were gentle, as if they alone, were lifting your head up to look at him, like a gentle hand under your chin. "I like your name too". He smiled again at that and you looked back to your hands squeezing them together tightly. You wanted to ask him so many questions, keep a conversation flowing to stop the awkward silence that would soon settle in but you didn't want to seem weird in any way. You tried to think of something that related to your previous, extremely short, conversation. Something to add onto it, to get to know him better. "What's your full name? I know Bucky's a nickname" You were about to stop there, and you probably should have, but thought it best to clarify some more with what you meant "Not that I don't like the name Bucky, I love it actually, I just wanted to know". Curses flowed through your mind and anxiety followed as your words trailed off into the short silence before his response. You sounded so stupid and you cringed internally at how awkward you always were. "My names James. James Buchanan Barnes". You bit your lip as a smile formed on his, making your stomach do the smallest of flips. "Well It's nice to meet you James Buchanan Barnes". - Bucky hadn't expected someone like you to come through his door and he hadn't expected you to accept his offer to stay. You talked to him like he was a real person and you never said a thing about his arm. It was as though you barely noticed it and after twenty minutes you came to sit with him on the bed, the floor becoming 'unbearably uncomfortable' in your words. He made plenty of room and kept a

respectable distance between you, not wanting to come off like he was just trying to get in your pants, but you seemed to understand that that wasn't the case. You talked for another hour, silences between different conversations as you thought of ways to keep the discussion going. You were both as awkward as each other it seemed, and as time passed you both became more comfortable with the others presence. When you finally checked the time you were surprised to see how long you had stayed and got up fast to leave. Bucky didn't want you to go but it wasn't his place to tell you otherwise. You put your shoes back on, having taken them off earlier and headed toward the door. Turning back to him as you twisted the handle you pursed your lips with a small smile. He thought it was cute. "Thank you Bucky, for letting me stay". Bucky nodded "Maybe I'll see you around, if I'm lucky". You bit your lip one last time, a thing Bucky noticed you did, before you opened the door and left, closing it behind you. Bucky sat back on his bed a grin growing on his face at the thought of you, a complete stranger whose company he had grown to enjoy. He thought over the last thing he had said, 'Maybe I'll see you around, if I'm lucky'. Bucky wasn't ever very lucky but maybe the world would be on his side this time. Maybe he would get to see you again. - A week had passed since the party and Bucky sat with Sam and Steve at the compound. An argument had ensued as a result of this the three never being a stunning trio, mainly referring to Bucky and Sam's constant bickering. "That's not how it works! Come on side with me here Steve!" Sam looked over to their blonde haired friend who simply shrugged as a response. He was smart enough not to get caught up in sides between the two of them. Bucky opened his mouth to respond but someone over Sam's shoulder caught his eye, making him pause. "Cat got your tongue? You know I'm right Buck". Bucky simply ignored Sam's teasing, eyes locked on the newcomer to the room. A woman talking to Natasha. Her back was turned and her hair was down obscuring any possible view of her features from him. But he knew he recognized her. If only she would would turn around. It took another minute and now, curious, both Sam and Steve had moved their gazes to the girl. They didn't seem to know her and soon became bored turning back to each other and starting a whole new conversation from which Bucky ignored entirely. After a period of time that seemed to last forever, Natasha waved Him, Steve and Sam over and the closer Bucky got to the girl the more he recognized her. It was then that she turned, locking eyes with him. He could tell she recognized him just as he did her. It was you. He smiled. "Hey stranger". -

AN: Happy Bucky fic Friday!!!!

TAGLIST: @characters-deserve-better @posteyymaloney @agentsofsheilds @ladyfallonavenger @buckys2thicc @justifymyfeelings @winter-soldier-vibes TAGS:

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sevendeadlymorons · 3 years

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Hey I’m that one anon from a while back that sent those long ass paragraphs about Lilith and Simeon, remember me? Anyway I know I’m very late to the party, but some of the boys are either getting to much hate or too much love over here (in my opinion) so I made a pros and cons list for all of them, I’m sorry- (I’m warning you now this will be long but I’ll put it in bullet points so it’s a bit easier to read, just read it whenever your mentally ready lol)

Lucifer (I hate this man.)

Pros

He’d help a lot with getting your life together wether that be finding a job, choosing the right college or other shit like that

He’d make sure your working hard and getting everything done, which is both a blessing and a curse tbh

He would be the one to take the most care of you whenever your ill psychically

Cons

He would probably overwork you

Doesnt have much time to spend on you and doesn’t make a effort to find more time unless your getting really sad about it

Probably wouldn’t be the best of help through issues with mental illness (he just doesn’t strike me as that type, feel free to disagree)

His pride would cause some serious problems in relationships :/

Mammon (I love this man.)

Pros

He’s the “if your sad, I’m sad” kind of guy so he does whatever he can to put a smile on your face

Makes his affection towards you known once he’s comfortable enough, mostly through things like hugs and head pats tho

He shows off anything you make, and I mean anything (you gave him a drawing? After showing it to everyone he puts it on the fridge. You wrote something? He reads it to everyone then puts it in his notebook to reread later, I think you get where I’m going with this)

Cons

There would probably be some communication issues due to his tsundere nature and habit of ignoring you when he’s mad

He’d get super mad at you when your trying to help him financially, maybe it’s a ego thing or maybe he’s just tired of hearing it

While his possessiveness is cute at times he’d definitely get way to overbearing if you don’t force him to cool it

Levi (I kin this man.)

Pros

He’d try to set up designated hangout times (like Friday is movie night, Tuesday is for RPGs etc)

Wanna spend time with him but aren’t very into what he’s into? While it will be harder to bond with him because of this I think if you REALLY wanted to hang with him he’d at least try to meet you in the middle (like if you like sports he’ll offer to play wii sports lol)

Insecurities getting you down again? Well never fear, levi is here! He’d find characters with flaws similar to those you see in yourself to prove that they don’t really matter (and since he struggles with insecurity himself he’d know how you feel and be one of the best at helping you through them)

Cons

Even if he makes an effort to meet you in the middle if you have different interests he’d refuse to get into “normie” stuff

He’ll guilt trip you constantly, even if it’s not on purpose (“Oh your hanging out with Asmo today? I get it, of course you’d wanna hang out with somebody cool and perfect like Asmo and not a gross yucky otaku like me”)

You have to initiate almost everything Hugs? You hug first. Handholding? You reach out to him. Confessions? You seriously thought he’d be the one to confess first??

Satan

Pros

Similar to Lucifer he’d be good at helping you get your life together and putting you on the right track

Unlike Lucifer, he’d actively make time for date nights and/or hangouts multiple times a week wether your going out for dinner or reading in front of the fireplace

While he himself might not be best at helping with comfort in the moment, he’d be great to turn to if you needed a long time treatment (you need a therapist? He’s got the best three in your area that you can afford and he found some helpful things you can do in this book)

Cons

As stated previously, he’s not the best with comfort, which can be an issue if you need a friend/partner who can be your biggest source of comfort (I’m not saying he’ll do nothing, it’ll just be kinda awkward ig)

If you vent to him about something he’ll always offer advice and while that can be good, sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you and getting advice can be annoying in the moment

I feel like hanging out with him you’d rarely ever get to talk about pointless things, everything would be serious you know? And while serious and deep conversations are good for bonding, some people (myself included) need to be able to talk about dumb things without having it turn philosophical

Asmo

Pros

He’s the best at boosting your confidence, there’s no competition

He’s more into spontaneous outings (he suddenly got the urge to go shopping, your coming with right?)

You can talk about just about anything with him, no judgment and he’ll never speak a word of it to anyone else if you don’t want him to (although he may brag to his brothers that you told him your secrets)

High emotional IQ

Cons

He has set things of things he’s interested in and his idea of trying the things your into is doing whatever it is for about 5 seconds then deciding it’s not for him

He cares a lot about looks, I don’t mean he’ll hate you or insult you cause he thinks your ugly, I mean he’ll constantly try to do your makeup, hair, and nails and he’ll always say things like “Your hair is a bit messy today, did you brush it? Yes? Well not good enough, let me do it” and “your wearing that out? There’s nothing wrong with it, I just think you’d look a lot cuter in this” and if your anything like me, that’ll get on your nerves a lot

While he’s great with emotional issues, if it’s a problem with anything like school or your job he’ll have no solution to offer, all you’ll get is a “You can do it!” and a good luck kiss

Narcissistic, need I say more?

Beel

Pros

He’s the best person to vent to, no judgment and tons of hugs and comfort food

He’s a mom friend, no explanation needed

Very supportive and always concerned for your health

Your in trouble? Call beel, he’ll help you and make sure your home safe before questioning you and will only lecture you out of love (unlike a certain older brother that will lecture you because “Your tarnishing Diavlo’s reputation by acting out like this. Your an exchange student, you must abide by the rules and behave yourself.”)

Cons

Food is his answer to everything (Sad?Food. Injured? Food. School’s stressful? Food plus a little help studying) and while food can be good for comfort, sometimes you need him to provide more than a snack

He’s the opposite of Satan in the sense that he’ll almost never offer advice when you rant to him, he just assumes getting it all out is help enough and won’t offer much more then a hug and food

Not getting along with one of his brothers? “They can be a handful, but they’re great people once you learn to handle the chaos” yeah he rarely thinks what his brothers did is a big deal so he gives you advice on how to apologize and get past it and he’ll give you food

Belphie (he really does attract the mentally ill people huh-)

Cons

I feel like he’d be good for certain people with social anxiety and people who have issues with always being scared about being a bad person (“you think your a bad person and are becoming more and more toxic by the day? Well your a better person than Lucifer that’s for sure, wether or not your toxic were going to cuddle now get in bed” or “your worried everyone is constantly staring and judging you for everything you do? Well I don’t really care about what your wearing or the way you walk so I doubt they do either, can we go home now?” ((Side note, I experience both of these issues and his uncaring personality would calm me, which is why I think this one of his pros))

He just wouldn’t care about whatever type of life style you lead and as someone who’s constantly scared of being judged for their lifestyle this would be amazing (“you sleep all the time? Same let’s nap together” “You don’t eat very healthy? Whatever, it’s fine, can we sleep now?” ((although it is a double edged sword))

He gets a burst of energy and just does the most random things (you see that tree? He’s already climbed half way up it. That petting zoo? He’s already feeding the lambs. That store? He’s already spent 30 grim)

Cons

Just like his twin he thinks every problem has one solution, but instead of food he thinks the solution is sleep (your sick? Sleep is the best medicine. A lot of homework? If you sleep you don’t have to think about it.)

At some point he just doesn’t care enough, if you come to him with a serious issue he’ll half listen to you rant then pull you down to sleep

He teases you a lot, which is fine teasing is fun, but he takes it too far. Maybe he touched on something your insecure about or he was too merciless, whatever it was, he won’t apologize for it, he just thinks your being sensitive. If he brought up some bad memories he’ll consider it, but his way of apologizing is cuddling

He doesn’t wanna do something? You guys aren’t gonna do it. You don’t wanna do something? Too bad, he wants to so your gonna.

I’m sorry this is so long- I tried to shorten it I swear- but anyway if you disagree I’m with anything, I wanna hear what you think

And even tho Beel doesn’t get much screen time and more serious moments, I think his character is way more then hunger

Random but I wanna add that other then Levi I kin Tamaki from mha and Ranpo from bsd

Dude do you just like torturing poor college students? This is so much to read, I’m about to cry 😭

I agree with the Lucifer part actually! Tho I do kinda thing he’s be good emotion support in some ways, for me, anyway. I feel like he may lack empathy that is needed in a stable relationship. Yes, he may be able to tell you with shit and honestly, he’d book my doctors appointments when I’m too anxious too so yknow. But yeah

Also agree with mammon. He’s a jackass when he wants to be, and I know he may not mean it, but his words are still hurtful in a lot of ways and he just can’t convey those emotions that’re needed in a loving relationship. But he’s so sweet and will show you off so it’s all good~

As much as I love Levi, I agree. He manipulates and guilt trips you throughout the entire game. It can’t be healthy in relationships but that don’t stop me from loving that sweet otaku boy 😔🖤

I agree with Satan too. I don’t have much to say but he’s avatar of wrath for a reason, for a start, and he honestly looks like he’d prefer talking about books than that funny thing that happened in class that made you laugh earlier

Agreed with Asmo too. Sometimes he may just get overbearing and the narcissism and the constant need to make you look better and improve you may get irritating

I agree with Beel. I don’t think he can comprehend that food isn’t an answer to everything and as a person who doesn’t cope with food and relatively hates it, he won’t be any help to me emotionally. He’s so sweet but he just won’t give you that proper support

I love Belphie so so much but I absolutely agree. He’s one of the most unbothered brothers who won’t care what you look like, yes, but that also means compliments may come rarely and like his twin, “sleep is the answer to everything” I can admit I like to sleep but I have a manic side that comes with insomnia and if he’s dragging me down and not letting me move and I just cannot sleep, I’m gonna get irritated and pissed off.

This got a bit long on my end too. I just really liked how you worded this and it was fun to see pros and cons of the ‘perfect’ brothers

I think Beel is more than food too, but I just don’t particularly like him either way cuz I’m not really a foodie so I can’t relate with him lmao

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thedreamparadox · 2 years

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Do you have any tips on writing dreamers ? ( elliot claris will and helen ) i am working on swap AU but I don't feel confident I my understanding of those characters . If not than ignore this and have a nice day

Not many, honestly. I'm winging a lot of my characterization because like, the only Dreamer I had the slightest clue to when I started doing fics was Helen 'cause violin-ing.

I've got some general rule of thumbs for writing them though.

Helen: Writing style leans into Alice in Wonderland. Is a teeny bit of a crybaby in the early plot but totally has the ability to work through that and be brave (she wouldn't have a red Ideya otherwise). Has dad based trust issues because if I'm already relating super hard to the violin kid I might as well go all in lol. Absolute Twin Dreams fangirl to the degree some people I knew in high school were super into Phantom of the Opera, just more lowkey about it. Has a good eye for color so tends to use more definite color descriptors (ie magenta or rose instead of just pink).

Will: Writing style leans into Little Nemo (the comics far more than that one weird movie). Walking cinnamon roll who has some minor self confidence issues but is mostly suffering in his dad not being around as much anymore. Inherently a good natured kid who just wants to help. Maybe a little gullible, but more than smart enough to look at Reala and NiGHTS and go 'wait they're related.' Uses less descriptive language overall compared to Helen.

(Note: Both of the JoD kids were written to have some language in their style that reflected 'storybooks' to a point because it was a stylistic thing I wanted to lean into. I didn't go for anything stylistically for the NiD kids because I didn't plan on writing a full series worth of stuff for them originally.)

Claris: Her entire family is theater or some kind of performance geeks. Doodles a lot but is not an artist. Has chronic stage fright issues up until the end of NiD. Would absolutely throw hands with a Nightmaren solo if pressed, especially if her friends or family were in danger. Definitely owns a VHS of Cats and several various Broadway cast recordings. Probably reads a lot of fantasy books.

Elliot: Has some self-confidence issues revolving around basketball because poor kid's go performance anxiety. Curious to a fault, even in the face of danger, though tends to be really indecisive before he makes any given major decision. Kind-hearted and a little socially awkward. Not a good artist, but he tries. Way better with words than he thinks he is. Absolute Sonic fanboy. Massively. He dyed his hair blue like, come on lol

My characterization of the NiD kids is a lot shakier than the JoD kids mostly by sheer volume of writing. General rule of thumb is the gals are action girls even if they might freeze up at first and the guys are just good dudes that just want to help.

When it comes to writing in general, I'll quote my orchestra teacher from high school: do your best and fake the rest. (this is good life advice too lol)

#answered asks;;#disclaimer: my dad did not pull any of the stuff that helen's dad did #he is - however - an asshole who has gone absentee off the face of the earth #ever since i graduated high school #never be afraid to project onto ur characters honestly #they call it write what you know for a reason! :D #seriously to just do your best and write what you think sounds right #if you're coming up with blanks i reccomend trawling the wiki #and the nightsintodreams.com site for bits and pieces of old lore from the games

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chocosvt · 4 years

Text

connect!universe extra

⚬ pairing: cyborg!hansol x reader | future!au ⚬ word count: 6482 ⚬ warnings: alcohol consumption ⚬ genres: angst, heavy fluff, mutual pining, elements of a futuristic/dystopian society

✧✎ synopsis: hansol is the first cyborg you’ve ever met. he seems human enough, but clearly a little damaged on the inside, and you wonder if he’s ever known what it’s like to be loved.

✧✎ a/n: can you BELIEVE that this is only my second vern fic? he’s one of those members where i can think of multiple plotlines for him, but struggle in writing all. i’ve wanted to try a cyborg/futurey au since like three yrs ago lol, so i hope this came out well ,,,,

You poked the plastic spoon further into the cold cup, trying to search for a small chunk of strawberry buried under the soft, vanilla peaks. In actuality, you already purged all the strawberries out from the ice cream; you were only pretending to look occupied so that you could escape the awkward aura of being next to this cyborg you met an hour ago, the two of you sat on a ridiculously uncomfortable curb outside a dessert parlor, beneath the midnight sky. It was an unorthodox situation. You wondered where your friends went.

From the tentative corner of your eye, you glanced at Hansol’s half-emptied cup of cookie dough ice cream. The parlor behind you had closed down, though the night street still flooded with a twinkling, neon spectacle, the additional hovercraft humming high above as they travelled along the aerial space-paths. You continued staring at Hansol’s cookie dough. If it had been Changkyun or Yoojung sitting next to you, then you would have already dipped in your spoon and tasted each other’s ice cream as tradition. It would be too weird to ask Hansol.

Scraping some vanilla ice cream onto your tongue, you swallowed thickly and decided to initiate conversation again, even if it was just prevaricated nonsense to beat the time.

“Is cookie dough your favourite flavour?” You questioned Hansol, though stared at the loose laces on your sneakers rather than him.

Hansol started shaking his leg as he shrugged. “I like chocolate too. And cheesecake.”

“So you have a sweet tooth?”

“I guess, yeah.”

Okay – well that was officially the dying spark of another conversation. You were uncertain if he was anxious, shy, perhaps socially awkward, or maybe he was attempting to signal that he just didn’t like you. It was quite rare to encounter a cyborg. Ever since you could remember, they had an uncordial notion of being dangerous, sinister. They were meant to be contained in laboratories as a government order, so technologists could perform their invasive studies. You didn’t know if Hansol was an escapee or a discarded project, nor was it your place to ask.

The strawberry ice cream was beginning to melt into pink and white puddles the more you stirred. One last time, you attempted to maintain some sort of conversation with the cyborg.

“So where do you live? I’ve never seen you around before.”

That time, you made the effort to stare at him, a hazy and violet light bathing the sharp side of the boy’s face and igniting features you hadn’t noticed beforehand. His eyelashes were long, resembling gentle fern leaves, and he had a very strictly cut line defining his jaw. Through the coarse layers of his dark brown hair, you noted small, inked numbers were tattooed just in front of his ear, though you pretended you hadn’t been looking there when he faced you.

“I don’t have a place.” Hansol said nonchalantly, poking the spoon into his cookie dough. “I’m kind of a floater.”

Your eyes widened, though you couldn’t help it.

“Really? But you do have a job. You’ve never tried renting a motel room or something?”

He shook his head and shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. From what Yoojung had told you, Hansol worked with her at her dad’s auto-repair business, prompting you to wonder if she knew the boy was homeless. Knowing he wasn’t surrounded by the comfort of a family had already caused a pulsing ache in your heart, and you felt somewhat obliged to help.

“Does Yoojung know?”

Hansol hesitated slightly, licking the sweet taste of the ice cream from his lips.

“No.” He finally answered in a torpid manner.

There was a stiff bit of silence, and then the boy was looking directly at you, his knee and elbow so close to yours that they kept bumping together. His eyes, which were usually as brown as a square of dark chocolate, were suddenly beaming in a shade of ice blue. You had never seen such a thing before, and yet you could sense the anxiety rippling from him in invisible waves.

“You aren’t going to tell her, right?”

Your throat felt incredibly dry as you shook your head, heightening your desire to stick a large spoonful of softening strawberry swirl in your mouth for some form of moisture.

“If you haven’t told her then I won’t either.” You replied, making sure to maintain eye contact.

Immediately, Hansol relaxed, the ice blue that glowed from his gaze slowly fading away until the familiar brown replaced it. Even though you assured Hansol his secret was safe, it didn’t thwart your disquieting feelings from echoing throughout your chest, though you attempted to swallow them with the pink dessert that just liquidized onto your tongue. You two continued eating in silence underneath the white stars, Changkyun and Yoojung still nowhere in sight.

“Y’know,” you began quietly, “we just met and all that… but I definitely wouldn’t mind if you stayed at my place for a few days. And I wouldn’t let Yoojung know a thing.”

For the first time that night, you saw the faint beginnings of a smile pull at the boy’s lips, and despite him staring straight at his sneakers you managed to catch a glimpse of rose light emanating from his eyes. He didn’t look at you until the pretty hue completely died away.

“I don’t want to bother you.” Hansol admitted, his gaze tracing your warm expression.

“Trust me, you wouldn’t. It’s just me and a powder puff cactus I bought last month.”

It took a couple of seconds or so, but the boy eventually nodded, and an immense relief toiled away the discomfort that earlier plagued your chest. The air no longer felt so awkward, in which you had been pointlessly scavenging for strawberry slices in your ice cream just to feign some degree of distraction. In fact, you made an offer you would have never anticipated when your night with the cyborg first began: you asked Hansol if he wanted to try your strawberry swirl.

“Okay,” he obliged, “wanna taste some cookie explosion?”

You switched cups and scooped some of his cookie dough ice cream. There weren’t any cookie chunks left amongst the chocolate-vanilla mixture, and you wanted to laugh upon thinking that he must have been doing the same as you.

“You’re walking home with him? Are you sure…? Are you sure that’s like, a good idea?”

Your face quickly warped into an expression of bewilderment as you stood across from Changkyun, who was clearly apprehensive to have Hansol walk you home. That was the fake story you told your friends, and you had expected it to pass with flying colours, though you came to a roadblock due to your ex-boyfriend seeming petulant. Yoojung was close with Hansol therefore she depicted no air of disagreement. She gave Changkyun a steely side-eye and partly stepped on his foot.

Folding your arms over your chest, you cocked your head. “What are you implying, Changkyun?”

The young man dug his hands into the deep pockets of his coat and gave a casual shrug, his gaze following a distant hovercraft that whirred quietly in the skies above.

“I’m just saying that—”

“He’s saying I’m not safe.” Hansol cut in, though not with any contempt or bitterness. “I understand. Not the first time I’ve heard it.”

The rebut locked onto your tongue was instantly forgotten, to which you glanced at Hansol with a soft sympathy. He was awfully calm, not upset, not angry, just calm.

Yoojung groaned loudly, throwing her head back. “Oh, for crying out loud. Changkyun, he’s not some lump of artificial intelligence that got thrown together by a mad scientist and now he’s out to obliterate mankind. He’s a good kid with some bionics in his arm. Get over it, would you?”

A scarlet colour mottled in the apples of Changkyun’s cheeks and he dragged a hand through his slick black hair, disrupting its style. You looked to Yoojung appreciatively, who was already beginning to wind her arm around Changkyun’s elbow so that you could be on your separate ways. It was an hour past midnight, a thick drowsiness resting just behind your eyelids, blurring the purple-blue neon lights. A part of you still loved Changkyun, yet the other often festered in uncertainty.

“Goodnight guys.” Yoojung said with a tired smile.

“Night.” You and Hansol murmured in unison.

When Changkyun remained silent, Yoojung stepped on his foot again with her red sneaker.

“G-Goodnight.” He was forced to mumble. Changkyun then looked at you, nodding at the slim cellphone tucked in your hand. “Text me when you get home.”

“Okay.” You replied in a small, plain voice, chewing on your bottom lip while watching them walk away down the street together.

The guilt was bubbling like a disastrous magma beneath your skin, continuously growing hotter as you introduced Hansol to the couch in your living room. Changkyun certainly didn’t represent your own morality, and you were still a little overwhelmed that he would make such a piteous remark, especially to Hansol’s face. Maybe it came from a place of care, affection, perhaps even jealousy. The person who made that comment wasn’t the Changkyun you knew, the Changkyun you loved, and you felt obliged to apologize on his behalf, despite knowing it should come him rather than you.

Hansol sat down on the couch while observing curiously around the room. You couldn’t help but think he was adorable, and you wondered if Yoojung was telling the truth about the bionics in his arm. For his eyes to adapt sensory colours, you knew he must have a chip implant too.

“Sorry, no extra clothes.” You told Hansol after handing him a fleece blanket and a pillow.

As he fluffed the pillow out against the arm of the couch, you sat down on the coffee table.

“I just want to apologize… For what Changkyun said. He’s not that type of person, I think he made a comment like that because it’s still a bit weird between us, and he wasn’t using his head.”

Hansol’s indifferent countenance made it difficult for you to read if he was truly offended. He seemed like the easygoing type, one who doesn’t ruminate or tend toward conflict.

“Yoojung kind of filled me in about you guys,” he admitted, shaking his knee, “Changkyun still worries about you. I get it.”

You stared into the clasped hands on your lap, noting that you’d been unconsciously playing with the gems on your bracelet. It seemed like you both had your nervous ticks.

“Breakups are weird,” you sighed, “I don’t know if we should have stayed friends.”

Out of the blue your body grew rigid, and you wished to retract the words back into your mouth. Your relationship dilemmas weren’t something that should be pushed onto Hansol, a boy you just met, especially a matter so individualistic and personal. Rubbing the bleariness from your eyes, you let out a sleepy laugh, shaking your head in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that – It’s getting too late for my brain I guess.”

Hansol shrugged. “It’s fine. I should tell you I have to get up early tomorrow, for work.”

Conveniently, the auto-repair shop was within walking distance. You were happy that Hansol had been able to find employment, that Yoojung’s dad was kind enough to hire a cyborg, even when they were ultimately spurned for being metal projects and safety hazards.

You stopped tugging on your bracelet and looked at Hansol fondly. “Mr. Choi is so nice, right? He fixed my electro-board when I was little.”

Hansol sprouted in a timid smile. “He’s great. He’s the one who always fixes the circuit panel in my arm when it bugs. I couldn’t control it if it weren’t for him.”

Undeniably you were curious about what sort of bionics had been installed in Hansol’s body. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence to meet a cyborg, though you frequently heard tales about the different technology the laboratories were practicing. Androids were also in maintenance; however, they were a very clandestine operation, and people were known to disappear completely if they leaked information from inside the core. Still, it only fuelled your intrigue.

“Let me guess,” Hansol said, “you want to see my arm, don’t you?”

“Um…” Heat pricked into your cheeks and you failed to meet the boy’s knowing glance. “Only if you want to show me.” You responded bashfully.

“I don’t care,” Hansol huffed while he pulled his hoodie above his head, letting the fabric drop into a ball beside him on the couch, “you’re nice about it.”

Hansol placed the underside of his arm atop his leg, revealing that underneath the thin, synthetic layer of skin, there were bright circuit pathways glowing in different colours. You could see small signals blipping through them, passing onto other networks which travelled up his muscle until they disappeared under his shirt sleeve. Never had you witnessed anything so mesmerizing, so unparalleled, and you stared at Hansol’s arm in a childlike wonder.

Leaning forward slightly, you murmured, “how hard it is? Can I touch?”

“Yeah.” Hansol replied, regarding you with a gentle smile as your fingers pressed down cautiously on his forearm.

His skin was soft, warm, just like ordinary flesh, but then you immediately felt the metal bionic installed beneath and you became somewhat frightened of pressing too hard. There was one particular circuit that started at his wrist, which glowed in a pale lavender hue. You saw a tiny current fire from its sensory orb, and gently, with your fingertip, you traced the signal overtop Hansol’s skin until it faded away at the crease of his elbow. You sat back in awe and smiled.

“That’s amazing. They’re like veins.”

“Yeah, I thought that too.” He agreed.

The boy’s eyes were ignited in a sweet, bubblegum pink. You could only assume that pink had something to do with being flustered, or maybe a fast heartbeat. When you giggled, his cheeks flushed rosy like a cherub’s and Hansol stared straight down into his lap.

“I love how your eyes change colour,” you reassured him delicately, “you shouldn’t hide it.”

Hansol thanked you in a quiet voice, to which you could sense that he was nonetheless embarrassed.

“How does Yoojung’s dad get access to the panel?” You asked, changing the subject.

“I have to open it for him, like this.”

You jolted backward on the coffee table when a translucent, blue screen suddenly projected from the boy’s eyes. It was lined with unintelligible runes and peculiar symbols you had never seen before, some of which flickered by so quickly you didn’t get the opportunity to differentiate them. Somehow, Hansol was navigating his way through the code by controlling a box that highlighted certain text. Upon selecting the correct sequence, there was a tiny beep.

A rectangular section of Hansol’s forearm was outlined in red. Like a safe door, it automatically swung open, uncovering a dense and intricate network of wiring, panels, and metallic instruments that made you feel anxious just looking at them. You couldn’t fathom something so complex was resting beneath Hansol’s synthetic flesh, even as you stared into the thick of it. He didn’t keep the panel exposed for long, and in the next minute Hansol’s arm was restored.

It felt like someone had just crushed your brain between their hands.

“What do people say when you show them that?” You chuckled.

Hansol grabbed the fleece blanket and started pulling it over his lap. He paused for a second, biting his bottom lip.

“I’ve never shown anyone else, apart from you and Mr. Choi.”

However, he didn’t seem interested in delving further on what just happened. Instead, Hansol thanked you for letting him stay for a few days, then wished you goodnight as he got comfortable on the couch. Once you were tucked into bed, you grabbed your phone off its doc station and started texting Changkyun to announce that you made it home safely. Afterward, you slowly dozed off with a strange feeling in your chest and tummy, sort of like butterflies.

Except they weren’t because of Changkyun.

With Yoojung’s arm wound firmly around your lower back, she helped walk you to the front porch, ensuring that your ankle wouldn’t suddenly capsize as she prevented you from haphazardly stumbling in your drunken haze. It was Changkyun’s birthday, and to celebrate, a large congregation had swarmed the downtown club, marking a night that was already beginning to fizzle from your memory. Yoojung never drank alcohol. She had always been the one at your side to nurture any incoming hangovers, though she wouldn’t be available for the weekend.

Instead, she had a Maglev train to catch bright and early the next morning. Her parents lived apart, and for the whole month she’d be away at her mother’s house.

Yoojung grabbed the spare key you kept under a flowerpot to unlock the door.

“Text me tomorrow.” She advised. “Tell me if you’ve puked your guts out or not.”

“G’night, sexy.” Your words spilt out in a jumble. You still felt like you were floating.

Pressing your hand against the wall, you fumbled to remove your shoes. You deserted your jacket in a clump that sat on the foyer floor and proceeded to stagger into the living room. Hansol occupied the couch, scribbling in his notebook. In the beginning, the boy was only supposed to stay for a few days. Two weeks had passed and he was still with you. For some reason, you didn’t possess the heart to see him go, and while you knew he felt guilty extending his welcome, you believed his presence was becoming an integral part of your life.

Changkyun had invited him to the club, though Hansol politely declined, instead wishing him a happy birthday over the phone. Whenever the boy wasn’t working at the auto-repair garage, he was extremely attached to a black, faux leather notebook with sallow-stained pages. You never asked what he wrote about, thinking it might be something like a personal journal. Upon seeing you at the threshold to the room, Hansol bloomed into his usual faint grin. There was still a thorough concoction of liquor in your blood and a black raspberry flavour burned your throat.

You wobbled toward the couch, mumbling in your garbled vernacular about how elated you were to see him after such a tiresome and long night.

Collapsing next to him, you rubbed tightly into your eyes and started humming.

“Need me to get you anything?” Hansol offered kindly.

Cracking one eye open, you glanced at the boy before bursting into intoxicated giggling.

“Oh, nonono, dn’worry about it. M’fine, Hansol. So, so, so fine.”

“You’re smashed. You should get some rest.” He suggested the most logical option, staring at you slumped deep into the cushions from over his shoulder.

But then you sat up, stretching your arms high into the air until you felt the muscles shake. Your hand fell on the boy’s shoulder, and you looked through your clouded gaze into the beautiful, rich earth of Hansol’s eyes. He tensed ever so slightly at being in such a new proximity to you, probably smelling the tangy alcohol straight from your clothing.

Placing your forehead on his shoulder, you slurred, “y’know, you’re r-right. I need to sleep.”

“I can help walk you to your ro—”

Hansol’s suggestion was merely cut in half as you raised your head from his shoulder, pressing your mouth to his in a soft, short kiss. He blinked like a clueless fawn, eyes rounded and glistering, unable to formulate a single thought let alone a sentence. If your veins weren’t engorged with fiery alcohol, then you certainly wouldn’t have kissed him, but in that heart-fluttering and completely sense-devoid moment, you didn’t have your rationality to guide you. His eyes quickly warmed to their adorable rose tint as you rested your head on his lap.

“Dn’wanna go to my room. M’gonna sleep here.” You purred, nuzzling into his thigh.

The boy completely froze. He didn’t know what course of action to take. Settling his notepad and pen on the arm of the couch, he saw you were already falling asleep.

“You’re so comfy…” you sighed, sensing the blackness pull you deeper.

Hansol gulped tensely, “y-you really don’t want your bed?”

“No.” Your brow slanted, and you glanced up at the boy with a misty, intoxicated film in your eyes, your cheek smudged rather cutely against his firm thigh. “Just want to lay here, w’you. Please, Sollie? Do you not want me?”

Hansol’s gaze had never shone such a vivid shade of pink.

“N-No, I do— I mean! I-I don’t mind,” he tripped over his words and ran a nervous hand through his hair, “you can stay there. It’s fine.”

You chuckled in a tipsy, bubbly adoration upon watching Hansol falter. “Y’re soso cute.”

“Do you want the blanket?” He quickly worked to change the subject. “So you don’t get too cold.”

“Yes please.” You hummed, your eyes fluttering shut while the boy grabbed the fleece blanket from the back of the couch.

The material was light yet warm as it was draped gently over your body, prompting you to curl into a ball with Hansol’s thigh pretending to be your pillow. You slurred a polite goodnight, feeling the boy’s gaze roam freely across your face. One of the last things you recalled hearing was a goodnight whispered back to you, though it was very quiet, sincere, alongside the scribbling of Hansol’s pen in his black notebook.

You dreamt that he was writing about you.

“Are you really sure? I feel like I can’t… It’s been a month already.”

Hansol wouldn’t stop fretting about his stay at your house, how he felt undeserving to be living with you, that it was eating him up inside knowing he was taking away a degree of your privacy. He was so inclined to confess his concerns that he hardly touched his warm cinnamon toast or slices of bacon, and you could hear the rapid motion of his leg shaking underneath the table. It hurt to see him like this. Neither Yoojung or Changkyun knew he was living with you, but if you truly wanted the boy to stay, then you would need to be completely candor and voice the reality.

Scaping the last bits of oatmeal from your bowl, you shook your head.

“This is working out, isn’t it? You’re so much safer with me. And I love your company.”

The boy leaned back in his chair, shoulders slumped with uncertainty and his eyes seeming distracted by antagonizing thoughts. You couldn’t help but think that Hansol wasn’t used to someone caring about him in the manner that you did.

“It would be awesome if you stayed.” You made another attempt to mitigate his worries. “The only thing is we would have to tell Yoojung and Changkyun.”

Hansol looked at you, the morning light that pierced through the cloth curtains igniting a golden flare in his eyes, and powdering his long lashes. Your cheeks started prickling just from staring at him. You always wanted to tell Hansol how beautiful he was, but you were too shy.

“I know.” He sighed, reaching for his glass of apple juice.

“Yoojung probably won’t care,” you knew that was a fact, “I’m not sure about Changkyun, though.”

Hansol would leave for work at the auto-repair within the next fifteen minutes, while you made plans the night before to help Changkyun shop for his new apartment. You weren’t exactly sure where you stood with Changkyun, or the direction your heart leaned toward. Whenever you were alone with him, he became the most endearing, sweetest version of himself – a complete charmer, engendering you to laugh so ridiculously hard that you’d choke on your own saliva or playing such a smooth move you’d feel your pulse quicken. He utterly confused your emotions.

To make the matter more conflicting, you still hadn’t forgotten your drunk kiss with Hansol.

He played the incident off casually, in a frivolous nature that helped erode the viscid layers of poignancy you were swathed in the next morning. Almost every night you thought about the kiss, addicted to the butterflies and the cottony feeling that would overwhelm your stomach.

“I should get going now.” You announced, slipping your jacket off the back of the chair.

A small, fainthearted grin appeared on Hansol’s mouth.

Underneath the table, you set your hand on the boy’s jumping knee. He instantly cemented, looking to you with still-water eyes.

“I just want you to know that I’m really glad you’re here. Seriously. You make my life better.”

Your heart was rippling like a kite caught between a harsh wind. After giving the boy’s knee a gentle squeeze, you rose from the table, left your bowl and utensils in the sink, and texted Changkyun to meet you at the hovercraft port next to Grand Station. Small, pearled tears were slipping down your cheeks as you kept a brisk pace along the sidewalk, though you hastily wiped them away with the sleeve of your jacket, pretending they had never fallen.

You were starting to think you were in love with Hansol.

A menacing and wrathful thunderstorm had developed overtop the city throughout the day, the cinder clouds completely swallowing any sunlight as they thickened and grew rotund with water vapour. The bullet rain didn’t start falling until the evening, and the booming reverberations of the thunder made it seem as though the sky was splitting itself apart. Your mother used to say it was the angels bowling, and it thundered each time they hit a strike.

Around ten-thirty at night, you grabbed a quick glass of water from the kitchen and wandered into the living room, wanting to see Hansol before you went to bed. However, he didn’t pay any attention to you. He was looking out the rain-splattered windows and into the darkness, where the thunder still roared barbarously. When you sat next to him on the couch, he sensed how the cushions slightly dipped, the boy jerking in surprise upon noting your presence.

Taking a drink of water, you mumbled a muffled “are you okay?” while eyeing him skeptically over the rim.

He shivered, brushing his own arm. “I dunno, I hate thunderstorms.”

Suddenly, there was a harsh, almost deafening crack that echoed from the sky. The lights flickered for a transient moment until the aftershock faded away.

“S-See what I mean?” Hansol stuttered, his eyes glowing in a lambent, soft-tinged blue.

Your heart immediately pined for him, and you experienced an urge to tuck him away in your pocket so he couldn’t be harmed. After setting your water glass on the coffee table, you offered a tenacious solace that made your palms dot with moisture.

“If you want, you can sleep with me in my bed—I mean! not like, sleep with me, but just—we’re both sleeping and nothing else, is what I’m trying to say…”

You internally wilted and admonished yourself for making the request so painfully awkward. To your relief, Hansol chuckled innocuously at you.

“I didn’t think you meant it like that,” he admitted, his eyes flitting from blue to an orchid pink, “If it’s okay, then I’ll do it.”

“It’s okay.” You reassured him. “It’s completely okay.”

At first, neither of you could fall asleep, instead staring blankly at the shadows of the popcorn ceiling while raindrops pelted against the glass. You two attempted keeping as much space as possible between you, for even the slightest brush of your leg or arm rendered you both to instantly recoil and spew apologies. At a little past eleven o’clock, your eyes were fluttering open in response to a particular sound. It was Hansol’s leg again, shaking beneath the covers.

Turning your cheek into the pillow, you faced him with aid from your alarm clock light.

“Your leg is going like crazy. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Hansol looked at you, gulping tautly.

“My leg does this all the time. I-I can’t help it. It’s harder to control the bionics there.”

“You have bionics in your leg too?”

“Yeah, mostly in my knee, some in my shin.” His expression was apologetic. “I’m sorry, you can’t sleep because of it, right?”

Hansol held his breath when you grabbed his hand beneath the covers.

“I don’t care.” You promised him, calmly stroking the ridges of his knuckles.

A few moments passed where you simply observed the dark slopes and outlines belonging to each other’s faces, your breaths slowly beginning to synchronize as the raindrops softened against the window. Tentatively, you touched the side of Hansol’s cheek, your thumb running just below the warm, silk skin of his eye, treating him akin to a fragile art piece. You could sense the rigidity within him dissipate like mist, especially as he moved closer to you, pushing his head into your chest. An intense fluttering sensation immediately consumed your lower-tummy.

“Will you please hold me?” He mumbled in his husky, tired voice, his ear settled right over your thumping heart. “I always sleep better when I think about you holding me.”

“O-Of course.” You stuttered, rather taken aback.

That was the first time he had ever been so forward with you.

You fleshed your fingers deep through the boy’s brown locks, feeling the thick, velvet-like strands wrap around each digit and tickle your skin. Continuing to softly coax down his scalp, you brushed against a hard, plastic slit near the back of his nape, and realized it must be the area where Hansol’s sensory chip had originally been inserted. His leg was no longer shaking, and you felt the rhythmic pattern of his breaths against your chest. In the darkness, you could properly see the small circuits that dimly glowed beneath his eye and ran across his cheek.

Under your breath you murmured, “you’re so pretty.”

Almost immediately, the circuits lit up in a deep shade of fuchsia, and you could just see the boy’s mouth twitch coyly. Your entire body, head to toe, flushed with warmth as Hansol only turned his face further into your chest, attempting to hide the sappy blush staining his cheeks. He was inexplicably more than just pretty, Hansol was precious, and you wished to keep him pressed against your side so that the cruel world may never wrap its hands around him.

About a week later, you met with Yoojung at the internet coffeeshop. She had recently returned from her stay at the opposite side of the city with her mother. You two picked a window seat at the front house, using the translucent screen in front of you to select your orders. As soon as you were finished, the screen blipped off, revealing the bustling city street.

“Changkyun wanted to come too,” Yoojung said, fiddling with a sugar packet, “but his aerospace class is going on a tour of the Sky Hub… He won’t stop talking about you, y’know?”

You cringed slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by Yoojung.

She couldn’t repress her laughter. “What’s that about? You hate him now?”

“I don’t hate him.” You also grabbed a sugar packet and started pushing around the granules inside, using it as an excuse not to face her directly. “It’s weird being only friends.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Yoojung frowned.

“I thought that was what I wanted. I feel like… I kept him as a friend because I was too afraid to lose him completely. But now…” You heaved a sigh and chewed pensively into your bottom lip.

“You’ve moved on.” Yoojung acknowledged. “But with who?”

Taking in a breath to relax your pulse, you looked at Yoojung seriously and admitted: “Hansol.”

“Hansol?” Her jaw almost fell off the bone. “What the hell! How come you never told me you were in love with the hot cyborg? When did this happen?”

There was a silver disc on the far side of the table that automatically slid open, and a tray pushed up that contained Yoojung’s coffee and your honey tea. Once you took the tray, the silver disc closed.

“Like two months ago,” you confessed, handing Yoojung her coffee mug and the small pitcher of cream, “he’s living with me.”

“I had no idea.” She sounded in complete awe. “But now that I think of it, you two always seemed to connect really well.”

You felt an unbridled smile pull at the corners of your mouth, but tried not to make your giddiness too obvious.

“Can you please not tell Changkyun? If he finds out, I want it to be through me.”

“I won’t say anything.” Yoojung promised, drawing a cross over her chest with her finger.

After you spent a few minutes blowing at your tea, you swallowed coarsely and asked Yoojung about a matter that had always allured your curiosity.

“What are those numbers by Hansol’s ear? I’ve never asked him.”

“I don’t know really,” Yoojung replied, shrugging, “my dad said it’s like a barcode that they use in laboratories.”

“Do you think Hansol was an experiment of some sort?”

Yoojung poured a dash of cream into her coffee and stirred it. “Most likely. I think that’s why he writes in that notebook all the time. My dad told me that the laboratories are evil. They do cruel experiments, and a lot of the cyborgs need a mental escape. Apparently, they’re allowed to write or paint. Ever since my dad found Hansol, he’s had that notebook.”

Her expression turned sorrowful and the contours of her face filled with gloom. “I don’t think Hansol is used to being treated like a human. Just because he has bionic parts, that doesn’t mean he’s emotionless, like some android. He can walk and breathe and laugh, like any of us.”

You stared into the golden, swirling colours of your tea and nodded solemnly.

“He can love too,” Yoojung hummed, “he just needs to be shown it first.”

Ivory rays of moonlight followed you home, until you slipped through the door and quietly clicked it shut. You hadn’t expected to stay out so long with Yoojung, though you weren’t entirely surprised considering her month-long absence.

Hansol was sitting on the couch, the lamp aglow on the side table as he scribbled into that faux, black leather notebook, a few stray locks of hair tickling his eyes. Your expression couldn’t help but split into one of firm ardour and love, a contented smile decorating your mouth while you opened the fridge to look for a quick snack.

You pulled out a container of sliced strawberries, washed your hands, and ate nearly half the sweet summer fruit. After wiping off your fingers with a paper towel, you sat next to Hansol on the couch and rested your chin on his shoulder. His writing was crooked, rather messy, and you couldn’t quite read anything from the paper, though you held a moment of silence, continuing to watch him make his scribbles. Eventually you set a hand on his bicep, squeezing gently and feeling the hard, metal component beneath.

“Did you have a nice day, Sollie?” You asked him, mindlessly stroking his arm.

He turned his head slightly and caught your curious eye. Never had you yearned to kiss someone else so badly, and you were forced to squash the notion that moving your head just an inch forward would have your lips to his.

“It was fine.” Hansol replied, his gaze tenderly studying your face. “You?”

“I saw Yoojung today, so we caught up on some things...” tracing circles against his strong arm, you added shyly, “I thought about you a lot too.”

The edges of Hansol’s lips fluttered into a smile. “Yeah? Nice.”

“What are you writing about?” You hummed, simultaneously reaching into a pocket on your jacket, pulling out a lip balm.

Hansol chuckled, “you can’t read it?”

You pressed the smooth end of the stick against your lips and shook your head.

“No,” you scoffed lightheartedly in response, staring into the boy’s brown eyes, “not saying you have bad hand writing. It’s just… a little indiscernible.”

He examined the paper again, and his countenance became timid, even a mixture of anxious.

“Good.” Hansol huffed, his leg starting to shake.

“Why good? C’mon, I want to know at least the topic.” You shoved away your fruity lip balm with a large pout.

“If you don’t have a clue now then you’ll never have one.” Hansol teased.

Scratching your arm, you said the first thing that came to mind. “Is it about me?”

Hansol didn’t say anything, he just pressed his lips together in a small, sheepish smile while that familiar rose tint flickered in his eyes. He nodded, then set his book and pen on the side table.

“Do you think that’s weird?”

“What?” You questioned him. “That you write about me? I don’t think it’s weird.”

You expected him to appear more relieved, but Hansol’s face only filled with new shadows of uncertainty and doubt. He peered into his lap again, and you could see a very prominent circuit on his neck fire a multitude of luminous, twinkling signals. Something clearly wasn’t right with him; something was still causing him pain. Carefully, your fingers grazed Hansol’s sharp jaw, turning his head so that he could look at you forwardly. You swept away the tresses that were touching his long lashes, a deep concern shifting the once chipper nature to your face.

“What’s wrong, Hansol?” Your brow furrowed, knuckles stroking softly along his jawline. “You can tell me anything.”

“W-Would—,” he stumbled, and you saw how his irises faded into a beautiful aurora of ice blue, “would you love me more if I weren’t who I am?”

Immediately you tensed, and your eyes widened. Your hand fell from the boy’s jaw while a thorough shock bottomed out in your gut. Hansol looked at you so purely, so intimately.

“Because I’m in love with you,” his gritty voice trembled slightly, becoming as thin as the paper attached to his notebook, “and I can’t stop thinking about you, or writing about you. When you touch me, I feel the sensors in my body light up like crazy, and when you say my name, I replay it over and over again in my head. I’ve never felt this way before. But… I’m not like Changkyun, or Yoojung, or you. I can never be human in the way that you all are. ”

You shook your head, the inside of your mouth feeling horrendously parched and your heart aching tight against your ribs. Pulling the boy’s hand into your lap, you interlaced your fingers.

“Don’t say that,” you pleaded, a surge of hot, liquid salt lining your eyes, “those bionics in your body don’t take away from the fact you can feel real emotion. I don’t care if you had circuits in every part of you, or none of you. You still have a heart that feels pain, and love, a brain that helps you rationalize your emotions and thoughts. That alone makes you human enough, Hansol. I’ll love you no matter what.”

His cheeks were rubescent, eyes developing a thin film of teary gloss.

“Do you promise?” He croaked between a small sniffle.

You cupped his face in your enveloping palms and pressed a deep, calming kiss to his mouth.

“I promise.” You assured him, resting your forehead against his. “I love you, Hansol.”

The boy was unmarred by hesitance. Delicately, he wrapped his hand around the back of your neck to gently push your lips against his, slightly angling his head so that he could better coordinate with your movement. The kiss was slow, but blooming with passion, and you felt the heat pool in the pit of your lower tummy as Hansol started guiding you to lay on your back. Your lips never separated, and the contact only grew more fervent upon tasting the mild fruit of your own chapstick from Hansol’s pink mouth. While your fingers tangled through his dark brown hair, pulling softly at the strong roots, his hands crept underneath your t-shirt.

He squeezed tenderly along your waist, the rough callouses gorged into his large palms turning your insides to a warm puddle. As the boy pressed open-mouth kisses beneath your jaw, one hand reached for his bicep, feeling the hard metal underneath upon digging in your fingertips. By the time Hansol reached the crook of your shoulder, he was panting faintly, to which you let the boy adjust his weight as he wriggled himself against your side, sleepy and overwhelmed with how the night unfolded.

He nuzzled into your neck and tucked an arm around your stomach, attempting to keep you as close as possible, like you could disappear into thin air.

“Goodnight, Sol.” You murmured, gently scratching the top of his head.

His breath tickled the sensitive flesh of your neck, his rough voice already heavy with remnants of his incoming slumber as he repeated the phrase back to you. Just before you shut your eyes, your lips kissed the barcode tattooed to the sweet spot just in front of his ear.

I’ll love you no matter what.

✧✎ a/n: :-) hope u liked it! hearing ur thoughts is always appreciated!! i was actually supposed to post seokmin’s prince!au next, but that one is like 12k and since my mingyu purge fic was also really long, i just wanted to write smth short and sweet in between. maybe some of u would not consider 6k “short” lol but to me who physically CANNOT shorten my writing this is actually an improvement! anywho, i like writing hansol as a BIG SOFTIE!!!!

#seventeen scenarios #vernon scenarios #hansol scenarios #seventeen vernon #hansol x reader #vernon x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen fluff #svt vernon #seventeen angst

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emsartwork · 4 years

Note

Sorry if you’ve already answered this but J was wondering if you could talk more the girls childhood/growing up? Love what you’re doing btw, absolutely adore how you’ve basically recreated the Winx world! 💗

Thank you!!! and sure thing! long post ahead

BLOOM: she never really had any problems family wise, Vanessa and Mike told her she was adopted at like…. Age 7 or so (in a positive affirming way obvi) and even if any kids teased her about it she never doubted her parent’s love for her. Even with Daphne’s spell helping her blend in with earth life, Bloom still had a nagging sense she didn’t “fit”, and got lost in fantasy books and art whenever possible. Growing up she deals with some body image issues that probably stem from the whole wrong fit feeling. Bloom grew up an artistic and quiet kid, Mitzi and Selina were her best friends from childhood, and because they both had really strong personalities, Bloom often repressed her own feelings in order to play peace maker. Up until high school, where Mitzi, who was always the leader, slowly started to turn into a bully in order to gain the approval/fear of her peers, targeting Selina specifically. Bloom was more of a follower at the time and just didn’t want to loose her friends so she didn’t stand up to Mitzi but tried to treat Selina as if nothing had changed, which was not cool with Selina and she not-so-subtly started to reject Bloom as a friend. Bloom, for her part, did get her shit together and stand up to Mitzi, loosing her only other friend right before her senior year of highschool (she was still technically friends with Andy but they had also just broken up and everything was awkward lmao). Bloom regrets not standing up to Mitzi sooner, and wants to rekindle her friendship with Selina (and Mitzi if she’s willing to tone down the bitchiness).

STELLA: So Stella’s childhood is a little more complicated. Stella is the first SoLuna heir in Solarian history, and a very loud minority protested her very existence. Stella also had to stay close to the Second Sun of Solaria as a child, so she had a very solitary and confined early childhood in a wing of the Solarian castle. When she did figure out how to sneak out she was only 10 or so, and spent most of the time just wandering around the capital city. She didn’t have any problems in the city, but an off duty guard recognized her and took her back to the palace. Stella was then sent to an elite boarding school under a false name (Sasha), she formed close friends with Nova and Varanda, but the trio was the target of the rest of the school’s bullies (for various reasons). Junior high was peak nerd Stella, but she “princess Diary-ed” herself when starting high school and started placing all of her value in her appearance and status as a sex object. Her parents’ marriage was also starting to crumble and Stella felt like she had lost their love. Because Stella craves validation and affection, this lead to a couple bad relationships because the only way she could get people to “love her” in her brain was through physical intimacy, even if it didn’t really fill the void she felt. Nova and Varanda were her rocks during this period and Stella was able to learn to love herself first with their help. Stella was insanely nervous to leave her friends and go to Alfea, and tried to force friendships with other people originally, (this mostly lead to people thinking she was annoying and getting multiple censures from Griselda), and her first genuine connection on Magix was with “Prince Sky” (Brandon). Nova and Varanda were VERY worried when Stella first told them about “Prince Sky”(Brandon) and how fast they had gotten into a relationship and they may have stalked/threatened him on a visit to Stella but they eventually came around and started to like him. Stella being expelled was only kind of an accident, Varanda texted Stella in the middle of a Chemancy class her application to Alfea for the next year had been accepted and Stella got SUPER excited and blew up the classroom. She probably could have stayed in school but her response to Fraragona and Griselda’s “now what do you have to say for yourself young lady” was *giddy laughter* and “ i only wish the explosion had been big enough to send me forward to next year!!!!!” and griselda was like “either she goes or I go” and Stella was like “ya gurl i gone” of course her time back on Solaria didn’t go exactly as planned as her parents were just fighting every time they tried to do something together making her people pleasing/self blaming tendencies worse.

FLORA: ahhh my baby So Flora does remember her father, not a lot and she feel guilty she doesn’t remember more, but she was only 7 when he died. Alyssa remarried when Flora was 13, and eventually she adjusted to having a younger sister who she loves very much now. Due to Rhodos’s nature preservation needing a lot of room for study Flora and Miele grew up pretty far away from any town and didn’t have a lot of friends. This is primarily why Flora and Miele are so close despite their age difference, and why Flora took her role as protector so intensely; she was the only one there (I mean besides the parents obviously). Flora did well in school though she was quiet and reserved, which made making friends even harder than living in the middle of nowhere. She figured out the best way to make people like her was to give them what they wanted, and this snowballed into Flora becoming kind of doormat not comfortable with voicing her true feelings and faking a lot what people expected from her. Flora has a lot of repressed…… everything (Bloom mostly just has a lot of repressed anger she’s good with other emotions lmao) she has trouble identifying what she’s feeling and for the most part is content to leave her feelings buried as long as the surface remains calm. The Winx do help her start to access her feeling more, and encourage her whenever she does voice an opinion. Helia is a perfect match for her in the sense that his quiet nature leaves Flora to express herself without trying to mold herself into whatever she thinks he wants (of course on the flip side this also means Flora and Helia have issues with communication and repression but that’s another topic).

AISHA: hoo boy another complicated one. Aisha was raised in a strict environment, this mostly stems from her parents and their more…. anxious natures, but royalty on Andros is not as free as some of the other planets. Aisha’s world consisted of lessons and adults and rules and she had very little control over her own life. Aisha met Anne in a rare moment of freedom in the tidal gardens where Anne’s father worked. Anne was biding her time waiting for her dad to get off work so they could grab some dinner and was dancing. Aisha just watched her for a while before Anne noticed her and asked her if she wanted to play. The two formed a fast friendship, and Aisha finally started to feel like she had some sort of influence in her own life as she snuck out of lessons to play with Anne every evening she could(obviously their favorite thing to do was dance lol) Unfortunately Anne and her father disappeared one night. Aisha lost her only friend, the only social outlet she had, her one source of freedom, and couldn’t even figure out what had happened. Feeling so out of control lead to a pretty bad anxiety disorder for most of her teens, primarily triggered by the dark or being trapped in some way. She also has issues trusting others and letting people help her. Aisha started to act out, trying to exert any kind of control and relieve some of her anxiety. Her risk taking behavior got pretty bad, but she had started to tone it down after she met and bonded with Piff(royal business trip to Magix she skipped out on). Of course when the pixies went missing she wasn’t going to let her friendship vanish again and tracked them down with a not so healthy single minded determination.

TECNA: born to higher class parents, Tecna had greatness thrust upon her from an early age. She received extra training and education basically from birth, which she was fine with for the most part. Tecna grew up being able to handle academic pressure very well and met all of her teacher’s and parent’s expectations. She and Riven had a brief collision as preteens in a school before Riven got expelled. Tecna’s one issue was that of her emotional intelligence, Zenith doesn’t really place an emphasis on that, so she was able to advance through high school very predictably until she attended a non-Zenith based workshop for magic. She found herself socially ostracized and very very confused. Of course Tecna had never met a subject she couldn’t master and emotions wouldn’t be an exception right??? Wrong. Zenith’s information about the brain and the chemicals produced was of no help, her teachers and parents didn’t understand why Tecna suddenly had this new interest in such an illogical subject, and worst of all, Tecna realized she didn’t understand her own brain chemicals. Tecna had a mini existential crisis, realized she had no idea what she even wanted to do with her life or why it mattered and applied to the Alfea Fairy program because “FAIRY MAGIC EMOTION MAGIC HELP” also it would offer her strong emotional experiences(transformations basically require it), the opportunity to work closely in groups, and personally obverse her dorm-mates emotional states. She got way more than she bargained for but doesn’t regret it a bit.

MUSA: my angst child T-T so basically, the first half of her childhood is p good, her parents work really hard and don’t always have enough money but the family unit is pretty stable. At around 12, Musa’s mom gets sick. Nobody is too worried at first, but she never seems to get better and she takes a big turn for the worse when Musa is about 16, Matlin is finally diagnosed with Core Failure Syndrome. CFS is similar to Core Fatigue, but while Core Fatigue can be remedied fairly easily with rest and magic, CFS is virtually incurable unless it’s caught really early. The causes are still unknown, and the symptoms (fatigue, nausea, cognition issues, and muscle weakness) can be prolonged but mild until it’s too late. In the later stages (extreme fatigue, numbness in the extremities, chest pain, joint pain, memory/focus issues, inability to keep food down) all you can do is try to make the afflicted comfortable. Ho-boe is understandably distraught, and tries to freelance write for music but goes into a pretty bad depressive state. Musa has a few odd jobs here and there, and thats mostly what’s keeping them afloat among heavy medical debt. Musa latches on to her mother for emotional support as Ho-boe is super dissociated. When Matlin does pass as Musa turns 18, Ho-boe finally breaks, and violently destroys every last reminder of Matlin because he can’t deal with the pain. Musa, who has suddenly had her one emotional anchor cut off, is super freaked out and scared by this and it really damages their relationship going forward. Musa becomes incredibly anxious, and can’t really process her mother's death because her father won’t talk about it with her and is still shut off emotionally. Moving to Magix only worsened it as Musa rebelled and went after music with a desperate passion. Applying to Alfea was a way for Musa to get out of the house, and she and her father weren’t on speaking terms when she did leave for the college. Musa had planned on learning more magic to further her career as a musician, special effects infusing magic into a song rubbing shoulders with rich and well connected people who could possibly get her connected to the big shots in music….. The winx situations had her change some of her long term plans a little, but her connection with the group + her separation anxiety and fierce loyalty didn’t really leave any other choice lol

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joon-ipersgirl · 3 years

Text

O5 - “airplane pt. 2″

genre: strangers to lovers!au, angst, fluff

pairing: jimin x reader (f)

summary: they say home is where the heart is. you’re convinced yours was taken the day your father died. until you meet jimin.

you believe in love but after watching men cycle through your mother’s arms, rocky relations with ex-boyfriends, and broken friendships, you no longer see it in your future. so much so, you never settle in one place long enough to call it home, choosing a job where you’re always on the go and on your own.

on a chance encounter on a flight from new york city to bali, indonesia, you meet. flustered by jimin’s flirty advances but understanding and good-natured tendencies, you start to fall. what starts off as a work-trip soon blossoms into a budding romance, but will jimin’s secret destroy the relationship before it’s had the chance to truly begin?

word count: 5.4k

warnings: cursing, mentions of anxiety, talks of heartbreak

a/n: i thought i should post this while i had the motivation lol. this has a lot of background for their past relationships with a lil twist so i hope you enjoy it. this is the last part i have completed so updates for this story might be a while but winter break is coming up so i should have more time. i just really want to do the next part justice you know? anywhoo. as always, thank you vi for reading this beforehand and pls leave any comments and thoughts in an ask. i’m curious to the reactions of jimin’s relationship history. enjoy everyone and think you for reading!

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

There were no thoughts of Tiago when you woke up that morning. Your cheek was pressed against Jimin’s back as your arm was draped over his upper body and your leg slung over his lower back. His breathing was deep and even as he slept peacefully beside you. You realized you’d technically only taken a nap as no sunlight peeked under the curtain, only the artificial lights from the street signs gently illuminating the room.

The events of last night came rushing back to you and you pulled away from Jimin, surprised at just how bold you’d become.You’d truly felt comfortable enough to share a deep part of your life story with a man that you’d known for two days. A man that you had a crush on. A man that had almost kissed you in the middle of a dive bar in the middle of Hong Kong. Jimin was encroaching on dangerous territory.

A ping! came through on your phone which you realized was across the room with the rest of your things. You groaned at the thought of having to leave the comfortable confines of the bed. Another loud ping! dragged you from the warmth of the sheets, choosing to crawl over Jimin’s legs instead of his lap, remembering the previous morning’s antics. Checking your phone, you saw three unread messages from Michael.

Michael: Good afternoon Y/N! Have you any word on when you’ll arrive in Bali? [1:09]

Michael: So I haven’t received a call or text from you. I assume everything is fine, or Park Jimin has killed you. I hope it’s the former [4:17]

Michael: So clearly he’s killed you. I’ll be sending his name and social security number off to the authorities [4:19]

You snorted at Michael’s messages as you inched your way back into your spot though Jimin had claimed the majority of your space in his sleep. He didn’t stir as you slipped under the covers, but rested his head against your chest as you laid on your back; you didn’t have the heart to move him as you responded to Michael.

You don’t have his social security number Michael. I’m fine. We just had a long night. And our flight is leaving some time this afternoon. I’ll get the details from Jimin and send them to you

[4:22]

Michael: You don’t know that. And a long night? Y/N, don’t tell me you were in the arms of this man when you’ve only known him for at most 2 days [4:24]

So what if I was? You’ve definitely done worse

[4:25]

Michael: You’re right. But this is one of the areas where I don’t lead by example. Please tell me you used protection at least [4:26]

Gross, Michael. Nothing happened. We just went to the museum (I saw Garland Sans) and then went for dinner and some drinks

[4:27]

Michael: A museum, dinner, AND drinks? In ONE night? Sounds like a date. A classy one at that since you said there was no fucking [4:29]

Michael: AND YOU SAW GARLAND SANS WITHOUT ME?! WITH HIM?! HOW DARE YOU! [4:30]

You’re honestly so crude. There was no fucking. It was just a casual hangout, nothing crazy. Also, I didn’t know his work was going to be there. I don’t think it’ll be the same exhibit in New York so we’re fine

[4:33]

Michael: A casual hangout where you forget to text me back? I beg to differ. Spill [4:34]

You chewed on your lip as you stared at Michael’s message. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him what happened; Michael was more than just a manager, he was also like a best friend. The problem was you didn’t really know how to describe last night. You barely understood what had transpired yourself. Throwing caution to the wind, you laid out all the details of the previous night.

Michael: … [4:53]

Michael: Y/N, this man did NOT wine and dine you and you left him hanging out to dry! Have I taught you nothing? [4:54]

Michael: I just - I cannot believe you got lucky like this. Well, not that kind of lucky. Either way, he didn’t actually kiss you so maybe he deserved that. An art curator at that. And he lives in NYC? You really are living in the moment. I’m so happy to hear after that S.O.B. [4:55]

Michael: Wait, does this mean you’re in bed together now?! [4:55]

It wasn’t that type of night! Like you said, I’ve known him for TWO DAYS. We can’t just have sex. And

I guess so; Tiago hasn’t been on my mind as much lately. Yes, Michael. We’re currently still in bed. Jimin’s sleeping

[4:58]

Michael: It’s the 21st century, Y/N. Live a little. You’re a modern-day woman. It’s been a year and a half love, I would hope he wasn’t. Not when you have a man that sounds like he’s sex on legs wrapped around your finger. [5:01]

Michael: Please send a pic. Thanks! [5:02]

He is not wrapped around my finger! And I’m definitely not just going to send you a picture of him sleeping! That’s weird!

[5:05]

Michael: Booo! This would be for the authorities Y/N. Think about your safety [5:07]

I am. So safe from you and your antics when I’m on the other side of the world. I’m going to shower, I’ll text you later

[5:09]

Michael: Oh you’re a dirty girl! Ask Jimin to join you. Remember to text me the flight details [5:12]

You chuckled at Michael’s attempt to make you uncomfortable. There was no way in hell you would do that. Jimin wasn’t wrong when he said you could barely look at him with clothes on and you blushed as the increasingly inappropriate thoughts tried to break through the barrier of unconsciousness and consciousness. You felt Jimin tug you closer as you tried to slip out of his grip again.

“Where are you going?” he mumbled, still half asleep.

“To go take a shower,” you said while trying to push him off you.

“No,” he whined. “Don’t leave me.” He snuggled closer and you laughed.

“Let go, Jimin. I smell gross; I’m basically leaking alcohol from my pores at this point.”

“I don’t care. You’re warm and I want to sleep more.”

“You can still sleep while I go and shower.” You pinched his side and he jerked away from you. His glare was comical as he struggled to locate you with sleep-heavy eyes. “So you’re ticklish? Good to know.”

“You’re mean,” he pouted as he rolled over onto his stomach after you’d successfully vacated the bed. “And it’s early as fuck. Wake me up when it’s a reasonable hour to be a human being.”

“You don’t even know what time it is,” you mumbled as you closed the door on any reply Jimin could make.

You welcomed the sting of the hot water against your shoulders, soothing the knots in the back of your neck. Letting the water run through your hair, you smoothed it out of your face. Massaging your scalp was therapeutic nowadays, especially since it was so much shorter. You hadn’t grown it out in a year and a half, now enjoying the short dry time and the new woman you were; Tiago would have hated it. You sighed as he resurfaced and you washed him away again with the simple smelling body wash. By the time you were dressed in your last clean emergency clothing, your hair was already drying.

The smell of coffee welcomed you as you sat down to add the final touches to your Saipan video. It wasn’t hard to get lost in editing, your brain working overtime to adjust the exposure of the film, fade out the titles, and sync up the music. You relished the peacefulness of the early morning quiet, your life seeming to return to its normal rhythm even if just for a few moments. Your moleskine journal with edited itinerary notes sat next to the steaming second cup of black coffee just as the breakfast rush started to roll in and along with them an extremely flustered Jimin.

“Y/N!” he crashed into the seat opposite you. “I thought you left!” His backpack sat beside yours on the floor as you stared at him confused.

“Where could I have possibly gone, Jimin?”

“I don’t know. You weren’t there when I woke up and neither was your stuff. I thought I overstepped last night and made you uncomfortable,” he said. Droplets of water fell from his hair and onto his white t-shirt. Your face softened.

“I needed some coffee. And to get some work done. You really thought I would have left you?” you asked curiously.

He shrugged and pushed his hand through his damp hair. “What reason would you have to stay?”

You opened your mouth and closed it. Jimin was right. You didn’t have to stay. It was possible that you could have just gone to the airport, given them your name, and be set - though that would have made for an awkward conversation whenever Jimin arrived as your seats were next to one another. You watched him head over to grab some food, greeting Sonia in passing, as he piled his plate high. He returned shortly after with Sonia and handed you a plate of fruit.

“She says you’ve been down here for hours and haven’t touched a thing; you need to eat. And she wanted to know if you enjoyed yesterday.” Sonia stood at the end of the table expectantly.

“It was really great. The museum was incredible. I really can’t thank you enough. And Jimin was a great tour guide. Did she see the pictures?” Jimin shook his head, his mouth stuffed with food as usual, before he thumbed the polaroids out of his wallet. Sonia cooed and the two of them chatted again, a slight blush overtaking the tips of Jimin’s ears.

“She said you look really beautiful and she’s happy you enjoyed yourself so much.” You thanked her as you chewed on a grape, wondering what else Jimin had left out of his translation. Too much was said for it to be condensed into a two-part sentence.

“What time is our flight leaving, Jimin? Michael wants me to send him the details.”

“So flight leaves at 1:40 pm and we board at 1:10 ish -“

“Holy fuck Jimin!” You slammed your laptop shut. “It’s 12:17! We have to go. Now. Fuck!” You shoved your journal into your backpack, the chair almost tipping back as you shot up from your seat. It took a few seconds for Jimin to realize just how far away from the airport you were before he too was out of his chair and shoving the last piece of pastry into his mouth. Sonia looked alarmed as you tried to return your dirty dishes until Jimin explained and she grabbed the plates out of your hands and yelled for William.

You bounced your leg as you watched William weave through the midday traffic. The leather of the seat bench stuck to the underside of your thighs. Lunch hour traffic in Hong Kong was just as bad as in New York and you willed yourself to remain calm as you cruised down the highway. The wind roared through the open windows and whipped your hair around your face. It was torture leaving the fate of your on-time arrival in the hands of a man you had literally met yesterday in a pickup truck that you were sure was a few years older than you. You envied Jimin’s ability to look peacefully out of the window at the bustling city while the coil of nerves bundled tight in your belly rolling like the waves of the deep sea.

Michael had not texted you back and you worried that somehow your phone service had been cut off again. An irrational thought because it was nearing 1 am in New York, but your brain had seemed to have left rationale back with Sonia. The comfort that your early morning wake up had given you in addition to the previous night’s adventures had been ripped away from you. It was no longer only you and Jimin in the back seat; anxiety had squeezed in beside you. Tears pricked your eyes in frustration as you prayed you wouldn’t have another delay in finally getting to Bali.

“Don’t worry, Shutterfly. We’re going to make it. You’re not missing this flight. I promise,” Jimin said to you as William followed the signs for the departure terminal. You could barely offer him a smile as the looming structure that was Hong Kong International Airport grew closer.

William pulled his truck over to the sidewalk between a Kia and a Buick, the vehicle looking extremely ancient compared to the other two. “Have a safe flight. And Sonia expects to see you both again soon okay?” William declared. Jimin hopped down and turned to help you out of the truck.

“We’ll do our best,” Jimin muttered, glancing at you. “Thank you for everything, William. I’ll let you know when we land.”

“Thank you, William. It really meant a lot, you taking me in and stuff,” you added and he gave your shoulder a squeeze through the open window as Jimin shut the door.

“You two should hurry. Go,” he shooed you towards the terminal doors. Jimin said goodbye once more and then was pulling you through the automatic doors.

The two of you breezed through the other passengers checking their luggage as you used the machine kiosks bypassing any potential cheery airline workers. Jimin trailed behind you as you zipped through the slow-moving passengers, your eyes focused on the glass doors leading towards the security checkpoint.

“Hey! Slow down, Shutterfly. We’re going to make it, even if we have to run,” Jimin said as he picked up his pace to catch up with you. You did not want to have to run. You had never run for a flight in your entire life and you did not want to start now. You bounced from side to side as you moved painstakingly slow towards the immigration officer perched on her high chair. It was already 1 pm, but no one else seemed concerned, probably actually on time for their flight. You rolled your shoulders, trying to loosen the tension nestled between them.

“It’s okay, Y/N. It’s okay.” Jimin slipped his hand under your hair, his thumb rubbing gentle circles between the base of your neck and shoulders. You sighed and removed his hand, turning to face him.

“It’s not okay, Jimin. I don’t even know if they have my bag,” you huffed. You stepped forward to hand your passport and boarding pass to the officer.

“I’m sure they do, darling. As long as you have your -”

“I remember what you said about the tag, Jimin. That doesn’t change the fact that I could land in Bali without my bag. I don’t even have enough time to ask someone about it,” you snapped while placing your camera bags into the grey bins, your shoes following after. Jimin said nothing further as he emptied his own backpack, the book he had been reading more dog-eared than when you first saw it along with a leatherbound book.

Just as you were passing through the body scanner, an announcement blared through the terminal. “This is the last boarding call for passengers Park Jimin and Y/N Y/LN on flight 7860 with services to Bali, Indonesia at Gate C9. Again, would passengers Park Jimin and Y/N Y/L/N please report to Gate C9 for flight 7860 to Bali, Indonesia? Thank you.”

“Shit,” you exclaimed, shoving your hands through your hair as another TSA officer looked over your scan. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!”

“Alright, you’re good.” You didn’t wait for the last word to spill from his mouth before you were back in front of the conveyor belt waiting for your stuff to pass through its own scanner. Quickly and as carefully as you could, you zipped your cameras back up and tucked them into your backpack. Your hands were shaking.

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I got you!” Jimin called out as he moved around you. He was already packed up and taking off by the time you’d secured your things. You stared in disbelief as you watched him run through the departure terminal, not caring how many people stared at him. It looked like you would be doing the same.

You chased after him, clutching your passport and phone in your hand, chest heaving as you watched Jimin’s head disappear further into the crowd. Fuck, he was fast. You dodged the small children that waddled along with their parents and the elderly couples that squinted up at the screens to find their correct gates. Your legs burned as you pushed through the pain, the hallways of the airport being much longer than you remembered. You couldn’t afford to miss this flight.

Rounding the corner to gate C9, the seats were empty. The rest of the passengers had already boarded the plane. A few of the airline employees milled around getting ready to close the gate. One was arguing with Jimin who refused to walk through the doors so they couldn’t close it.

“Look! There she is. I told you!” Jimin was standing in the doorway leading down the aircraft gangway, blocking the airline employees from closing the door. They looked highly irritated.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes, that’s me. I’m so sorry!” you apologized while handing over your boarding pass for it to be scanned. Your face felt hot from all the attention but you pushed it down. There was nothing else to worry about.

“Have a safe flight,” the employee mumbled as he handed you back the pass. You smiled, relieved.

Jimin grinned at you as he jogged towards the plane, his hair bouncing with every step. “I told you we wouldn’t miss the flight, Shutterfly.”

Ignoring all the nasty looks you received as you walked down the aisle of the plane, you and Jimin flopped down into your respective seats, tired from your sprint to the gate. The usual airplane routine started up as the plane left the gate and you relaxed in your seat as you watched the tarmac roll by through the window. Running was not your forte and you wondered if you should have considered Michael’s offer to be his plus one at Planet Fitness more seriously. You could feel the sweat bead around your hairline. A shower would be great once you reached your accommodations. You sat up abruptly.

“Fuck,” you whispered, grabbing your phone.

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked, fastening his seatbelt.

Scrolling through your numerous email notifications, you saw the one you were praying wouldn’t be there. Airbnb reservation canceled in the subject line. Fuck.

“Ma’am, could you please turn off your cell phone or switch it to airplane mode? The plane is getting ready for departure,” a stewardess chided you. You nodded and tucked it back into your pocket, dazed. In 5 hours and 5 minutes, you would be landing in Ngurah Rai International Airport with nowhere to stay for 9 days. Shit.

“You’re chewing your lip again.”

“Huh?” You looked over at Jimin who was still reading The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, his body feigning disinterest but you knew he was paying attention to you.

“You were chewing your lip. It’s your tell-tale sign that something’s wrong,” he replied as he turned the page. You opened your mouth to protest but closed it quickly. He was right.

“How did you know though?” you asked, tucking your hair behind your ear, now extremely conscious that he had been observing you.

“What are you worrying about? Your project? Y/N, it’s going to be amazing. This is what you love doing, right? You can do it,” Jimin encouraged, bookmarking his page and looking at you.

“I don’t know, Jimin. A romantic getaway? That displays passion and love? Those are things I haven’t felt in a very long time,” you noted. The memories of Tiago swirled at the corners of youe mind and you sighed in frustration that you thought about him again.

“Bullshit,” he said. Jimin tucked his book into the seatback pocket in front of him. “Love doesn’t have to only be romantic, Y/N. There are so many incredible forms of love out there. The love people have for their families, for their jobs, for their - I don’t know - neighbors they only see on Sundays because they do laundry at the same time. We love just because. There really doesn’t have to be a reason,” he finished. You stared at him. His brown eyes were bright with passion and his face was set in determination to convince you what he was saying was true. You were amazed at his belief in his own words.

“Do you think you could say that again? On film, though.” He laughed at you as you went to pull out your camera but he stopped you.

“I keep telling you, Y/N. If you want me to be your muse, all you have to do is ask,” he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes as you rested the camera in your lap. “But if you really do want my help, I’ll be happy to work with you on your project.”

“Seriously?”

He nodded and smiled. “Seriously. This is important to you. I want to help.”

You tried to hide your smile. Though it was something simple, Jimin supporting your craft was something you hadn’t experienced in years. People didn’t believe in the arts as much as they liked to consume it. “Thank you, Jimin. That really means a lot to me.”

“Remember I told you I’d show you what love is? This is a great way to do it.” Jimin grinned as you laughed at him.

“And what do you know about love, Mr. Park?” you asked jokingly. Jimin averted his eyes, his smile less vibrant than before.

“You’d be surprised,” he said with a shrug.

“More lessons from Mr. Park Sr.?” you joked again, poking his shoulder, trying to lighten his sudden change of mood. He chuckled lowly.

“Some. A lot I learned on my own.”

“A lot? What’s your favorite one?” you posed. You were intrigued about a Jimin who had seen these many sides of love. Who was he beforehand? How had he changed? “Have you ever had your heart broken?”

“Yep,” he said, popping the ‘p’. “A few times. I guess you could say the last one was the worst,” he commented.

“Would you like to share?” you asked gently, not wanting to overstep your boundaries.

“I can. Especially if it’ll help you believe in love.” He wiggled his eyebrows and you shoved his shoulder gently. “I assume you’ve also had your heart broken?” You nodded. “Hmm. Well, Shutterfly. Sit back, relax, and let me tell you the story of Alexandria.” Jimin eased his seat back and turned his head to face you, his fingers laced and resting in his lap. He looked as though he was in a therapist’s office to talk about his trauma and the feelings associated with them. Depending on the nature of the story, he might need to go and see one.

“Lexa and I met during my Freshman year of college. She was tall, slim figure, very ‘plain Jane’ except for her copper-colored hair. She was really a brunette, but in certain lighting, it looked red. Then she started toning it - it doesn’t matter. Anyway, I was hanging out with a bunch of friends in the library studying for this major test when she walked by and that was it; I was a goner. We ended up having a class together the following semester where I found out she was a Sophomore -”

“Ooh! An older woman?!” You perked up in your chair at the new detail. “I never would have -”

“Pegged me for the type? We’re back on that, Y/N?” he asked with a wry grin. You blushed at the memory and sank back down.

“Continue,” you whispered sheepishly.

“So she was a Sophomore studying Psychology with a minor in Creative Writing. She was a force to be reckoned with and I thought I had no chance with her until she asked me to hang out. I honestly couldn’t believe she was interested in me. We didn’t start dating until my Junior year of college, both of us traveling abroad the previous year, and we were really happy together.” Jimin smiled fondly as he recalled the memories and your heart fluttered in anticipation of what went wrong. “I proposed at my graduation while she was -”

“Excuse me? What?!” you exclaimed, staring at him in shock. “You proposed?!” He laughed at your reaction.

“Of course. I loved her and it was the right thing for me to do at the time,” he replied. That couldn’t be it.

“You got her pregnant, didn’t you?” He laughed again, this one vibrating through his entire body as he clutched his stomach; he didn’t seem concerned about the noise level.

“No, Y/N. I proposed because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

“Wow,” you breathed, amazed at his level of commitment at such a young age. To know who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and be ready to take that risk? He had to be crazy. “Wait. How old are you?”

“I’m 26. This happened around 2 and a half years ago, I think. Well, it’s been 2 and a half years since she called off our engagement,” he added matter-of-factly.

“Fuck,” you grimaced. “What happened?”

“She fell out of love. She wasn’t there when I woke up the following morning - we had moved in together while she worked on her thesis and I started grad school. The ring was placed on a neatly written note and all of her things were gone. Said she needed a man that had a little more - she ‘couldn’t put her finger on it’. Less stoic, more spontaneous. Something like that.” Jimin shrugged, the smile no longer reaching his eyes.

“But she knew how you were when you first got together. That’s some bullshit,” you muttered. Anger flared deep in your gut as you thought about this Alexandria stealing away in the middle of the night leaving Jimin alone to deal with the consequences of her actions as the sun rose.

“No need to crucify her, Shutterfly. She made the best choice for her -”

“But she hurt you,” you interrupted, frowning.

“I don’t disagree, but she taught me my favorite lesson: love freely and without expectations. I lost myself trying to prove that I could be this manly man. That I was man enough to deserve a woman as incredible as her. I lost her because of impossible expectations I placed on myself. We were both at fault; she could have said something sooner. I just wrestle with my own transgressions more. At the end of the day, it made me a better man.”

Love freely and without expectations. How could he say that when the woman who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with left him? Alexandria was foolish to leave someone as admirable as Jimin behind. Your heart ached at him waking up and her no longer being there, having to read that she no longer wanted him. You guessed some explanation was better than having the door closed right in your face.

“And you survived all of this?”

“I’m here, aren’t I? Broken hearts aren’t as bad as they seem, Shutterfly.”

“To you, Jimin. Though I don’t know how you got through that,” you said shaking your head in disbelief.

“The same way you got through yours,” he replied seriously. “Tell me about him. Why don’t you believe in love anymore?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe in love anymore. I just don’t expect it to happen to me for a very long time,” you said pushing your hands through your hair. Jimin waited for you to continue expectantly. You sighed and threw your head back against the seat. “Alright, fine. His name was Tiago. I met him when I moved to California with my best friend. He was a TA in one of her classes and she introduced us. He was tall, Hispanic, with the tight ringlet curls. They were sun-bleached because he spent so much time at the beach. He had the most beautiful hazel eyes too,” you added. You don’t think there was a woman alive who could deny how attractive Tiago was.

“He was smart too, attending law school - Gould School of Law at USC to be exact. I was working as a photography assistant in a studio downtown and he seemed interested in my work. We started hanging out and after a few months, we started dating. Things were really good for a while. I thought I had found my home in him, especially after leaving Milo back in New York. I thought he understood what I was going through. He didn’t.” You closed your eyes as you breathed through the memory of the pain.

“After a year of good times, things started to get weird. Some random phone calls he started taking in other rooms, less planned dates, less attention overall. I ignored it, especially after we had a conversation about possibly moving in together. That was a little too far for me so I was thinking of giving him a key to my apartment - I had gotten a promotion at the studio I was working at and could finally afford my own place,” you said with a grin. “I went to his apartment with the key in a little box and when I knocked on the door, a woman answered.”

“Shit,” Jimin whispered. He rested his hand on your knee and you looked at him with a small smile.

“Yeah. She asked who I was - if she could help me, and before I could answer, Tiago appeared looking fresh out the shower and said I wasn’t ‘anyone important. Just a friend of a friend’s who was supposed to take their anniversary portraits’ and closed the -”

“What the fuck, Y/N?! Please don’t tell me that he closed the door in your face.” Jimin’s grip tightened as his jaw clenched. You nodded with another small smile. “That fucking asshole!” he roared. The lady in front of you turned to hush him. He ignored her.

“Mhm, he closed the door in my face. I think I stood there for 2 minutes before I called an Uber and headed home. A few days later, he texted me and told me that we couldn’t be together anymore - like no shit, dumbass. I found out through the grapevine that she had been his girlfriend for 2 and a half years on and off. They were very much on when we were dating. Remember that friend I told you I moved to Cali with? Apparently she knew but didn’t know how to break it to me. I packed up and moved to San Diego which is where I met Michael. He had seen some of my short films from a little exhibit we had on campus and thought he could help me get more work. That was a year and a half ago,” you finished.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. He was a fucking dickhead to do that to you.” You waved Jimin off.

“Michael says the same thing - actually he calls him a son of a bitch. It’s fine though. But that’s the story. I’m still healing and building up trust with people. So I believe in love, I’ve just had some bad luck with it,” you said with a shrug. “I try not to dwell on it because -”

“It makes you anxious?” Jimin suggested. You gave him a tight lipped smile. His thumb stroked over your knee in soft brushes. “Well, we won’t talk about him then. Fuck him,” he grinned.

“Thanks, Jimin,” I laughed.

“And we’ll get this project done, yeah? Together?”

You looked at Jimin. He was smiling at you, his front tooth a little crooked but gleaming nonetheless. Tiny dimples appeared around the corners of his mouth - something you hadn’t noticed before. The little sun you had been in while in Hong Kong had started to turn his skin a caramel brown and you remembered the smoothness of his skin as you laid in bed. As the corners of his eyes wrinkled with warm affection and you smiled.

“Together.”

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

joon-ipersgirl, 2020

#jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts fanfiction #jimin fluff #bts fanfic #fic: bitter and beloved

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buckysrighthanddoll · 4 years

Text

Gluttony

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader (college AU)

Warnings: drinking, fluff, a teensy bit of angst (y’all know it’s me lol), swearing

A.N.: This is part two of my Seven Deadly Sins series!!! Read part one here called “Envy” with Bucky Barnes :)

You were never the drinking type. Throughout high school, you maybe had three drinks. It wasn’t that you were consumed with your bookwork or couldn’t sneak out to parties. You had plenty of opportunities.

It was now the third year of college. You were well on your way to your degree, you had an established friend group, and you had a decent enough social life. But when MJ invited you to a party this Friday, you found yourself feeling nervous.

There were a few parties in college that you attended. Every time you got uncomfortable and left early. Every time you stood in the corner with one or two of your friends from class. Every time you were home by midnight.

This time was different.

“MJ, you know--”

“That you’re a lame-ass who won’t hang out with some friends?” MJ interjected. “Come on, (Y/N), it’s just us. Even Ned is gonna be there.” Before you could even respond, she spoke again. “Peter said he’d be there.”

That caught your attention. You contemplated the decision in your head--the party was this Friday, which gave you today to prepare; however, you had a test at 10:00 am on Saturday.

“Fine. You said it was at your apartment, right?”

“Yes. Be there at 10 to help me set up,” MJ smiled, pivoting on her feet and heading to her next class. You sighed and gave a half-smile at her.

MJ knew damn well that you had a thing for Peter. And, beyond that, she insisted that he liked you, too. It was a load of bullshit, but she wouldn’t change her mind.

Finishing your classes for the day was easy. Today was Thursday, which meant you had Art appreciation, Spanish 312, and organic chemistry. That night, you set up your studying supplies and got to work.

Within an hour, you lost focus. You kept worrying about that damn party, but you logically knew that you didn’t need to. It was a few friends. Peter, Ned, MJ, and her boyfriend Mark were the only people that were supposed to be there. They were all people that you knew and trusted. As long as you didn’t drink, you’d be fine.

“Hey (Y/N/N),” Peter said, making you jump. He laughs, which immediately eases your anxieties. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I left my door unlocked again, didn’t I?” You asked, standing from your desk. He nods his head and sits on the chair by the kitchen counter. “You want something to drink?”

“Water, please,” He responds. He was always so polite, even though you’d known him since sophomore year of high school. The two of you knew everything about each other. He knew about your past traumas and experiences; you knew that he was Spider-Man.

Ya know, the usual.

You got the glass of water and threw a couple of personal pan pizzas in the oven. “I thought you were gonna study for the test on Saturday.”

“I got bored,” Peter shrugs. You sit next to him and rest your arm on the counter. “Figured I’d come to see my favorite girl,” He smiles. He gives one of those small smirks that he (recently) found to drive girls mad, but you simply raise your eyebrow.

“She’s probably in my room.”

At the perfect moment, a fuzzy black cat prances into the kitchen. Her name was Razzle, Razz for short, and she was the cutest damn cat to grace your existence. Peter adored her. There were times when you’d come home from class and see him playing with her on the floor. There were times when Peter would stay the night, and you’d wake up to see a fuzzy black ball on his chest. The scene was so cute that you took a picture (which may or may not be your lock screen, shh).

Razz jumps into Peter’s lap and immediately starts purring. His smile gets even bigger, and he scratches under the cat’s chin (the sight alone makes your heart soar).

“You wanna watch a movie?” Peter asks.

The oven dings, making you stand up to get the pizza. “As long as we can go over the vocab for the test afterward.” Peter groans, but you know that it’s sarcastic. “Deal.”

Peter goes to the living room area and turns on a random movie. You place the pizzas on paper plates and carry them out to where he’s sitting on the couch, his feet propped up onto the table. At least he had his socks on.

Thirty minutes into the movie, you weren’t paying attention anymore. All you could focus on was the way the screen lit Peter’s face; the way his eyes followed every action; the way his body jerked during a fight scene; the way his lips looked so soft and kissable and--

“Is there something on my face?” Peter asked. You snapped your gaze to the empty plate ahead of you. That’s one thing that you loved about Peter--besides his improved spidey-senses, he (sort of) grew out of his awkwardness.

“No, uh, I got lost in thought,” You lied. You grabbed his empty plate and took it to the kitchen to throw in the garbage. Taking a second to collect yourself, you went back to the couch. You scoffed at Peter, who was under a blanket and taking all three spots. “You’re such a dipshit.”

“But I’m your dipshit,” Peter retorted. You rolled your eyes as he sat up, allowing you to sit where his head just was. You plopped yourself down, and Peter rested his head on your lap, lying on his side to still face the TV.

Peter fell asleep twenty minutes later. Your hand was in his hair, softly playing with his curls, and soon enough, the soft snores ensued.

You stayed there for several moments after the movie ended. It was easy to bypass the credits rolling on the screen, especially when Peter was right there. Head in your lap. An arm draped across your thighs. You could see yourself doing this every weekend with him--waking him up, getting to the bedroom, holding each other until the early morning.

It was stupid how much you loved him. He was your best friend throughout high school and college. He was with you through every smile and tear. It was just impossible for you not to harbor anything more than a friendship.

Once the title screen popped back on, you shook Peter awake. He hums groggily and opens his eyes. As he realizes that he fell asleep on your lap, he goes red in the face and sits up.

“I didn’t realize I was even tired,” He says, letting out a breathy laugh. “I’m sorry. I, uh, I gotta get home, though. We have an 8 am tomorrow.” Peter gets up from the couch and makes his way toward the door.

“Yeah, yeah,” You said, standing up and following him. “Goodnight. Be safe, love you,” You added, hugging him.

“‘Night (Y/N/N), love you, too,” Peter responded. He left, and you took that as your cue to get to sleep.

Your classes breezed by the next day. You and Peter’s 8 am class was spent reviewing material for tomorrow’s test, and your ten am consisted of you being a TA for your Spanish professor. She just had you look through papers while she taught about the subjunctive tense.

At your apartment, you texted MJ to ask what you should wear. She arrived twenty minutes later and immediately began searching through your closet. She explained that it was still casual since it was just a few friends, but your usual plain t-shirts and jeans weren’t going to cut it.

MJ picked a tight-fitting shirt with a v-neck. She said that it made you look insanely attractive, especially when paired with the (extremely short) denim shorts that you hardly ever wore.

You decided just to straighten your hair and do basic makeup. It consisted of only eyebrows, eyeliner, and mascara; it was a bit more than your daily makeup, but if you were going to a party, you didn’t want to mess it up.

After getting dinner, you and MJ went to her apartment and began setting up. There was a beer pong table, food set out on another table, and all of the alcohol she could afford on a third table. You put a playlist on her TV screen and then put the remote behind it. It was all said and done within an hour.

You turned on the strip lights right as Mark got there. He greeted his girlfriend with a short kiss, and then he came and hugged you. Mark was a sweet guy; he treated MJ right, and he was great at communication, plus he made an effort to be friends with her friends.

Ned showed up half an hour later, and Peter was right behind him. You already had three shots, but they hadn’t kicked in yet; it was probably for the best because all you could think when you saw him was damn.

He wore a dark grey v-neck shirt and dark denim jeans. He looked like he had just gotten out of the shower shortly before leaving, as his hair was still slightly damp. MJ had to hip check you to pull your attention back to the conversation.

“You need to tell him eventually,” She starts. “I mean, he totally has it bad for you, too.”

“Bullshit,” You sang. “He’s my best friend, besides you. That’s it.” You looked at the table and picked up the peppermint schnapps. “Another shot?”

“Using liquor as a negative coping mechanism. Same,” MJ nodded, smiling as she grabbed the shot glasses. “Competitive?”

“Bet,” You answered, pulling out a five from your pocket. She threw down an additional five and called Mark over to call it so that it wasn’t biased.

You both set the shot glasses on the counter and got ready. Mark slapped the table, and you and MJ threw the glasses back and slammed them back down. You won by a fraction of a second, making you throw your arms up.

“Didn’t think you were a drinker, (Y/L/N),” MJ laughed.

“I’m not,” You smirked. You grabbed the money and put it in your pocket, lining up another shot and downing that one too. “But distractions are distractions.”

“You really need a therapist,” Ned laughed.

Within an hour, you were blasted. Although you’d been slightly tipsy before, you’d never been full-on drunk before. MJ was right there with you, Mark was somewhat behind, and Ned was tipsy. Peter, who had slowly been sipping on his drink, was hardly beyond sober.

The five of you were playing Cards Against Humanity in the living room. MJ had the lead, but that didn’t shock anybody; she was declared the friend group’s funniest. You were near behind, though, which was shocking only because you’d thought Ned should be in your position.

It wasn’t like it mattered to you. All that mattered was that you and Peter sat next to each other, thighs pressed to one another, and his arm was resting on the couch cushions behind your head. If you thought that dealing with your emotions was hard when you were sober, then you were in a world of trouble when it came to you being drunk (and him being this close).

Gluttony was not your usual sin. Indulging in vices like drinking wasn’t typical of you. On any other day, you’d throw yourself into your studies, or maybe you’d be planning your study abroad that was coming up. But drinking? That was out of the ordinary.

Tonight was different. You wanted to let loose--to forget about your emotions. But that wasn’t happening, now was it?

After your game was up, you partied some more. You expected to forget about your emotions; instead, you found yourself forgetting how to care about preserving them. A few shots here, some dancing there, and you were more carefree than you had been in years.

Around three in the morning, you were tired. More than that, you had to be up at eight to get ready for your test at ten. You found yourself stumbling to get your things together so you could walk home, but Mark was trying to stop you.

“(Y/N), it’s past midnight in a college city, and you’re as drunk as a skunk. Just stay here,” Mark tried. MJ was right behind him and insisting that you at least call a taxi or an Uber.

“I’ll be fine,” You assured, nearly falling over as you slipped your shoes on. Peter, thankfully, catches and steadies you. He keeps an arm around your waist, which makes your already reddened face burn even hotter.

“I’ll take her home. I’m sober,” Peter says, looking at MJ. “Besides, we both have a test in seven hours--I need the sleep.”

“Drive safe, man,” Mark says, pulling Peter in for a hug. Peter gives MJ and Ned a hug, and then he’s by your side, leading you to his car.

It was a short and silent drive. Thank gods. You weren’t in any state to be talking to someone who you’ve harbored romantic feelings for.

Peter took you inside your apartment. The moment the door shut behind him, he locked it and got to your bedroom. He picked out some sleep shorts and an old shirt for you to sleep in, and he left you to change while he grabbed some water for you.

You sat in bed as he walked back into the room, setting the glass on your nightstand.

“You’re too nice,” You whined. “Aren’t guys supposed to be assholes or something?”

“I’m the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man--I’m not quite like most guys.” Peter smiles and lifts the covers, letting you get under them. Once you’re laid back, you take a sip of your water, and he closes the windows and curtains. He comes back to pull the blankets over your chest. Then, he starts to leave.

“Peter, can you stay the night here?” You asked. He turns to you and gives one of the softest smiles you’d ever seen (maybe it was just the rose-tinted glasses, or perhaps it was the staggering amount of alcohol in your blood). Nodding his head, he gets in on the other side of the bed.

Peter had stayed the night here plenty of times, but he always slept on the pull-out couch in the living room. He never once stayed in your bed with you also in it. You figured it was either out of concern for boundaries or respect.

The truth was, Peter was also head-over-heels for you. He’d told MJ, not that he needed to--MJ was good at reading people, and he certainly wasn’t subtle about his attraction for you.

You were the first person he came to when he became Spider-Man. You were his reason to fight after he got dusted (along with you). You were his favorite person to see after a mission--you’d been at the tower anytime Tony Stark told you that Peter was coming home. You were always there for him. You were it. You were the one that Peter wanted to be with, even if it didn’t work out in the long run.

Once Peter settled into the sheets, you rolled over and cuddled into him. Your head rested on his chest, an arm around his torso, and a leg tangled with his own. Both of you heaved a sigh of relief; this felt good. This felt right.

“Peter?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He responded.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“No, like, I love you,” You confessed, looking up at him through heavy eyelids. “Like, I wanna kiss you and cuddle you like this and hold your hand. I wanna tell people that I’m your girlfriend, and you’re my boyfriend.”

“Baby, you’re drunk.”

“I’ve been hiding this for years, Peter,” You insisted. “It isn’t because I’m drunk. The only thing this liquor is doing is helping me say what I want to say without worrying.”

“If I’m honest, (Y/N), I love you, too. In that same way. But you’re not even going to remember this in the morning.”

“Will you remind me?”

“Yes.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Not when you’re drunk.”

“Damn,” You sighed. “Did you set an alarm for the morning?”

“I already have one set,” Peter assured you. “Let’s get to sleep.”

“And Peter?” You called. “Thank you for taking care of me.” He hummed in response.

The next morning, you were shocked that you only had a small headache. You were even more surprised that you woke up next to Peter.

Last night was fuzzy for you. Bits and pieces were clear as day, like winning thirty bucks from MJ. But what happened? Was Peter as drunk as you were? Did you say something stupid? Why was he in your bed right now?

No matter the reason, you found yourself not wanting to leave this spot. You were the closest you’d been to Peter.

The alarm on Peter’s phone rang, making you jump. Then, you grabbed your aching head. Peter awoke with a start before looking down at you. He shut the ringtone off, and then he wrapped his arms tighter around you. His hand ran up and down your arm, which made you feel happy and warm, but why the hell was he holding you like this?

“Good morning,” Peter said groggily. His morning voice was hands-down, the most beautiful thing ever.

“‘Morning,” You responded.

“Want me to put some coffee on for that hangover?” He asked.

“I’m not that hungover, actually,” You answered. “I can go make some.”

Peter nodded his head, so you got up. Three scoops into the filter, some hot water, and a few minutes later, you both had cups of bitter coffee to wake you up. You both started to get ready for the day by brushing your teeth and putting on some new clothes (Peter had to find some clothes that he’d left here last month).

It was going to be a casual and laid-back day; that much was certain. Your body was aching, and your head only started to worsen even after taking some ibuprofen. There were still thirty minutes before you needed to leave for the campus, so you and Peter sat on the couch.

“Did I say anything stupid last night?” You asked, holding onto your mug.

“Only that you loved me and wanted to kiss me,” He smirked.

You groaned and threw your head back. “I’m sorry,” You started, looking him in the eye. “I shouldn’t have said that while I was drunk.”

“Did you not mean it?”

“Of course I meant it,” You said, laughing drily. “Peter, in the seven years we’ve known each other, I’ve felt like this for six of them. I just shouldn’t have told you while I was drunk.”

“Last night, I said that I loved you, too,” Peter said. “And then you asked if you could kiss me, but I wasn’t going to let you do anything in that state.”

“Oh,” You muttered, looking down in embarrassment and setting down your coffee. Peter’s lifted your chin and then cupped your face before leaning in and kissing you. The initial shock wore off quickly, and then you were kissing him back. It was soft and sweet--precisely what you’d have expected your first kiss with him to be like.

When Peter pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours. “You wanted me to remind you when you were sober. Was that okay?”

“More than,” You smiled. You closed the distance again, tangling your hands in his hair. Peter smiles against you.

After the test, Peter took you on your first official date as a couple. He held your hand and bought you a coffee, and you carried a conversation like everything was natural. Like everything was right.

(And, for the record, you passed that exam despite the light hangover).

32 notes · View notes

monst · 5 years

Text

Amazing Defense?

Tamaki Amakiji x reader

Warnings: Please don’t hit minors even if there little shits sometimes -.-’ I don’t condone child abuse. So don’t @ me.

This is for @katsukisprincess does this count as fluff? Lol maybe at the end?? Idk why I asked as anon but I still finna write! Plus Fucking Ultra!

A soft smile was playing at your lips as you practically skipped down the street. You were so ecstatic that you were even humming the blissful smile on your face blinding the innocent pedestrians. What had your spirits so high? Well you boyfriend just so happened to be the amazing pro-hero suneater and, today you were going down to FatGum’s agency to surprise him with a homemade lunch. You had slaved away in the heat of your kitchen to whip up your boyfriends favorites. You could already imagine his pale skin flush to the tips of his cute pointy ears as you presented him his meal. You could already hear the cute way he’d stutter as he told you, you didn’t have to. The thought had you giddy and, you couldn’t wait to see the real deal.

Nothing could ruin your mood….. Well that’s what you thought until you reached the agency. You see it was nearing the time in which students aiming to be heroes started their internships with the pro’s. FatGum seemed to have three of those standing right outside the agency waiting for his return. And, what your ears caught had your smile drop faster than the mayor in the nightmare before christmas.

“Suneaters got a pretty cool quirk but don’t you think it’s kinda wasted on his lousy attitude?” You literally froze at the words. ‘What’

“Yeah! He acts like such a pussy its annoying.” Another teen drawled. ‘The’

“Right? Hard to believe he was top three at our school with all the moping around he does.” the last asshat interjected. ‘Fuck?’

Your grip on the lunch tightened your eyes narrowed to slits at the audacity of those kids. You took a deep breath reminding yourself that these brats were indeed kids. They needed to be taught a lesson but still kids nonetheless. Damn you hated being an adult sometimes.

“Tell me about it. In my opinion he should just man up. His depressed mood totally kills my vibe ya know? Like I came here to learn about what’s it like to be a real hero not see this dickweed headbang a wall. Tch and, he calls himself a pro ha.” Dead meat number one complained.

You saw red. You were absolutely livid. Your blood boiled in plain and simple english you were hella mad. Is this what Amajiki had to come to everyday when he gave in his report? Does FatGum really allow these punks to bad mouth Suneater?

“How fucking dare you?!” You shouted tears welling in your eyes. Sadly you were the type to tear up when angry but, that didn’t mean you looked any less frightening. “You have no fucking right! You have no idea how hard Tamaki works!”

The boys were originally stunned until they noticed your shaking form and, quivering lips and, with a scoff Dead meat one said:

“Oh Yeah? Where’s the confidence to show for it? Face it Amakiji is a pussy always hiding. His social awkwardness is totally unsuited for hero work. His quirk isn’t anything special either he just looks like some hentai freak-

-Crash-

The fact that they were minors be damned! The bento you had neatly prepared for Tamaki was strewn all over the boy. The still steaming takoyaki burning his skin making him yelp.

“Hey! Are you crazy?!” The last asshat yelled at you rushing to his friends aide.

The teen you heard speak second grabbed you by the front of your shirt and, his hand connected with your face harshly the force turning your cheek.You spat out the blood from your cheek on the ground and hissed:

“Ha that’s funny. You think I’m crazy? Your the crazy ones if you think you’ll be even half the hero Tamaki is!”

You yelled balling your fists intent on teaching those punks a lesson.

You hissed as the cotton swabs connected with your injured cheek. Tamaki sighed.

“You could have really gotten in trouble. Why’d you go and do something like that? ” He mumbled trashing the swab and, placing a band-aid on your cheek.

“They were talking shit about you… I couldn’t just stand by and listen to them talk about you like that.” You frowned your eyes avoiding his worried blue gaze.

“It really wasn’t a big deal baby… besides I’m kinda used to it by now. I’m not exactly hero material when it comes to speaking.” He confessed.

“Don’t talk like that about yourself Tamaki…Your a great hero, Your perfect and no one works as hard as you do. Since we’ve graduated you’ve been working hard on your social anxiety and I’m so damn proud of you. So is Mirio and, Nejire. They don’t know what there talking about. And, I just hate seeing people talk like that about you ‘cause I know how much it affects you… And I personally know how untrue it all is!” You cried.

Tamaki felt the tips of his ears burn. You were now looking at him so intensely that he felt he had to turn away.

“Why do you always say things like that.. You talk about me as if I’m amazing..” His voice was small as he tried to hide his blushing face. His azure eyes widened as your fingers brushed against his jaw to direct his gaze towards your own. Your leaned in closer to him making him squeeze his eyes shut his face engulfed in a red hue as you pressed a soft kiss to his pursed lips.

“I say it and I’ll continue saying it because it’s true Tama.” Your voice was soft barely above a whisper as you pressed another soft kiss on his nose.

“Tamaki Amajiki you are strong” You murmured in the same intimate tone. Your lips pressed to his forehead. “You are brave.”

Your lips landed on his closed eyelids tenderly as you whispered “Talented and kind.” You continued to leave gentle kisses all over his face finally making your way down to his plush lips. Your lips lingering locking in a sweet kiss and, when you pulled back to speak you noticed his glossy eyes.

“And you deserve everything you’ve worked hard for.” You reminded as you rested your forehead against his own.

“I don’t deserve you” His heart fluttered with emotion.

You stayed silent for a moment your eyes closed as you thought of what to say to the beautifully soft man in front of you. When you found the right words a slow smile slid across your lush lips.

“Yeah your right.. you don’t deserve me. You don’t someone as brash, reckless and hot headed as me. You deserve the world. You deserve someone to give you all the love you lack for yourself. And, tough Tama. But you got stuck with me so you’ll have to make due with my love.” You whispered brushing your nose against his in an bunny kiss. He laughed slightly tears overflowing and, gliding down his porcelain skin. Your arms came to wrap around his neck pulling his flushed cheeks to your chest.

“If no one else thinks you’re worth it and, even if you think of yourself like that…. Just remember I love you just the way you are insecurities and all. I’ll never stop telling you how amazing you are. Nor, how you brighten so many lives by just being you and by being Suneater.”You felt him nod and his grip on you tighten not trusting his voice. It was enough for you to know he understood that you’d never stop defending him even if it was from his own thoughts and others’ prejudices. You’d defend him tooth and nail. In sickness and health, In life and death… Wait were you proposing???

“You know” he sniffed not pulling away just yet. “I feel kinda bad FatGum had them go back to UA….. and, you beat them up pretty bad too…”

“Serves them right talking about my man’s like that!”

Tamaki couldn’t help but think about how he’d gotten so lucky and, ironically enough, you were thinking the same.

#bnha #bnha insert #bnha imagines #mha x reader #mha imagines #tamaki amajiki #tamaki amakiji x reader #amakiji x reader #bnha fluff #At least I think it's fluff...#bnha tamaki #suneater #🐇💋

331 notes · View notes

ashimakth · 4 years

Text

Hangang drama club

Pairing: jk x reader, jimin x reader, hoseok x reader

Chapters: more to come

Genre: angst, fluff, maybe future smut idk yet💜

Author’s note: pardon my English. It’s my second language, which I taught myself by watching numerous American TV shows 😅

Summary:Your friendship was unique and healing. They were your guardians and you were their polar star. Everything was working out perfectly until they left you, roughly and abruptly, making you chase after them and the thin veil of memories they left behind. And it felt like a triple stab right into the chest - because you loved them all. No, not only that. You were in love with them.

Three years had gone and your heart hadn’t healed. You didn’t know why it all happened but deep down you guessed - you were never enough for them. There was no place for you in their new adult life. They just went back to how it was before they met you, and it was alright.

It was alright until you met them all again. And as they took their turns to attack your poor heart, you job was to keep it whole without parting it into three equal pieces leaving yourself with none at all.

CHAPTER 1

You hated it. The smell, lingering in the air after a rainy morning, gray skies and deep puddles on the streets. It was that time of the year again.

You anticipated this autumn with anxiety every time you looked at the calendar.

The 1st of September.

The day he left you three years prior. His birthday.

He must be having fun tonight. At some club in Itaewon, sitting in a circle of his new friends, surrounded by colourful beverages and young females, flashing their chests to attract his attention.

He was buff in school already, and you could only imagine how handsome he looked now, considering his utter love for sports and pulling weights.

Was he doing it for himself or for other girls? Had he always been like that?

Had he noticed how much you liked that from the very beginning? Was it the reason he pushed you away?

Shame filled up your chest again. There was no doubt it was you who fucked everything up. Not them, no, never them, it was only your fault. They had never been anything but incredibly kind, patient and sweet. They taught you what real friendship was. They showed you how messed up your perception of people was; they taught you how to trust.

Just as you lift your third glass of pure soju towards your sour lips, a bright giggle filled the small dining room of Korean restaurant you were drowning your sorrows in tonight.

A young man, who walked inside with a group of same aged friends, quickly took the nearest table, making you hold your breath.

Jimin.

His hair was light pink this time, the colour he always loved on himself the most. You would never confess stalking his social media at night, how you smiled bitterly every time he posted a new photo or story. He was as charming as always, brushing his soft hair back and licking his plump lips, just before he turned around to call for a waitress and noticed you.

His bright expression quickly faded away and you immediately regretted coming here tonight. You regretted wearing a stupid white hoodie and just a mascara. If only you knew you would bump into your first love after three years of not seeing him, you would have definitely bothered to put some effort into your appearance. But every September 1st sucked out all of your energy so much you couldnt even lift a finger. Except today, there was something odd in the air because you were here and not in your bed.

Just three meters away from him.

He took a couple of seconds to make sure he wasn’t seeing things and it was really you, then turned back to his group of friends. Your heart sinked. It had been three years, two boyfriends and a couple of meaningless affairs, and you sincerely believed you were over them. Only September brought back the memories, but any other month of the year you felt almost completely positive that if you met one of them, you could keep a straight face.

Except the way he handled your encounter made you feel so rejected you wanted to leave the city and never, ever come back. Maybe you should have moved to Busan? Sunny weather, the sea, beautiful architecture. Calm and simple people. You loved simple things. Things that didn’t make you face complicated feelings.

‘Hi’.

His voice broke on the only word he uttered, and you knew you were totally fucked. The soft sound echoed in your ears and for a moment you thought you were hallucinating or seeing him in your sleep again before you realized it was really him.

You got distracted for a moment and he managed to slide into the seat opposite to you.

There was awkward silence as you stared at him, shocked by a sudden proximity. Was three years really enough to forget how he looked up close? Photos did him no justice, they could never capture the way his eyes sparkled under the lights or how adorable and hot his plump fingers were, framed by thick male rings. Did he still wear the one you gave him as a promise of always being on his side? From the look of it, no, he didn’t.

Jimin seemed nervous, but smiled nevertheless. That was what he always did whatever he felt on the inside - he smiled. Maybe you still knew him better that he knew himself…

'Do you… ’ He swallowed. 'Do you remember me? ’

You frowned. What did he mean? How could you not… remember him?

'We were… Um. Classmates. In high school. “ He chuckled, scratching behind his ear awkwardly. Your lack of answer increased his nervousness.

Classmates? What kind of nonsence was coming out of his mouth?

'Are you kidding me right now?’ You answered incredulously. 'What do you mean "do I remember you”? We literally spent every day of our last year at school together.’

The boy across from you visibly relaxed.

'Yeah, I know’ He breathed out. 'I’m sorry. It’s just… Some people preferred to erase me from their memory, so… I was just checking, sorry.’

'What do you mean?’ You asked, and by the way his expression changed you guessed he regretted saying the last part.

Jimin looked so lost that you wanted to kiss him. To stretch across the table, squish his cheeks and put your lips on his. To taste him again. You wanted to tell him that no matter what he said or did you would always have a place for his pretty soul in your heart, that there was no one like him on this planet but you knew it was unhealthy. Like your relationship with each one of them.

Unhealthy. Destructive. Wrong.

It was for the better that the circle ripped apart. It was better that way than seeing with your own eyes how their paths part ways with yours, how they get married and have kids, how they grow and become even more beautiful and more worthy men, while you just watch and silently desire. They could maintain their friendship without being madly jealous, but you couldn’t. And the idea proved itself when you met Jimin.

You would always want to own him if he was near, but you had no right to do so. He had never been yours, he wasn’t designed for it. He was meant for bigger and better things than your fucked up indecisive feelings.

Jimin looked at you not breaking eye contact and it made you think about how much he had changed. Not on the outside, really, he was still 50% cuteness and other 50% sexiness but the way he held himself despite being visibly shaken by your meeting showed that he definitely matured over the years. His posture, the way he spoke was calm and graceful, and not so chaotic like before. You wondered if you seemed different to him as well. Did he recognize Y/N he fed tokpokki after school in this same restaurant? Did he still think your eyes were pretty?

'Erm… What are you eating?’ He asked, trying to find something to change the subject, because, of course he knew what you were eating. It was right in front of him.

“Just… Meat. You?’ You took a small bite just to show him.

'Me too. We, I mean. My colleagues. From the store.’

'From Zara?’ You asked, trying to swallow the meat, but it stuck in your throat. God, you were shaking.

'Yeah.’ He smiled. 'Wait. How do you know I work there? ’

Shoot. Stalker caught red-handed.

'I saw you… ’ Don’t you dare tell him. Don’t. ’…when I was shopping. A couple of months ago. ’

Well, technically. You saw him. His. Photo. On his. Insta page. That you didn’t follow.

And you would never walk into that store, knowing he was there.

He beamed, eager to dig deeper, while you hoped he would drop the subject. 'Why didn’t you come up and say hi? I would’ve given you a discount.’ He winked. 'I’m the store’s manager. Which means I’m the boss. Well, almost.’ He giggled, his lips curving prettily. 'Technically there’s a senior manager above me, but she’s never around. So, I’m basically solving all the shit. But, please don’t say anything about it, lol, she’s right behind me’.

You giggled at his 'lol’, amused that he still used that word aloud in a sentence.

'I won’t. Don’t worry’. You smiled widely, and Jimin stared at your mouth for a split second, before averting his gaze somewhere to the side.

'Maybe… You want to join us? If you’re alone’. Jimin proposed. It seemed like he didn’t actually mean that and made the offer just out of politeness, judging by the way he fiddled with his fingers on the table. The boy was still looking everywhere but at you. What was he thinking about? What did he want? Why did he come sit here with you, smiling at you like that, melting your frozen heart? After disappearing from your life so abruptly, and leaving you all alone. You always considered him the most loyal out of all three. You supposed that at least Jimin, the boy with a heart of pure gold, would never break his promises.

When you thought that you still knew him the best, you were wrong. You couldn’t read him anymore.

'I don’t… Think I’ll be fun to spend time with tonight. Not really in the mood.’

'Why?’ Jimin finally met your gaze.

'It’s the day.’

He frowned. 'The day?’

'Yeah’.

'What do you mean?’

You didn’t want to answer. Did he really not remember? Three years ago on that same day Jungkook told you he didn’t ever want to see you again. That your friendship was over. That he didn’t see a future with you in his life. You cried, running after him, but he just left you there in Hangan park all alone. Not caring that you couldn’t keep up with him because your feet hurt in shoes a size too small. Not giving a single shit about you.

Your heart hurt, but you managed to squeeze out a, 'Why aren’t you with Jungkook today?’

Jimin frowned. 'Jungkook? I haven’t seen him in a while, actually. Why?’

You kept silent. He looked at you puzzled, catching your every movement as if trying to read you.

'Just… It’s his birthday. I thought you’d be with him, like always. And what do you mean you haven’t seen him in a while, did he go abroad or something?’ You were hundred percent positive they maintained their tight bond even after the four of you "split up” in 2017.

'Erm, no.’ Jimin chuckled bitterly and you finally saw another glimpse of an old version of him, incredibly soft for his best friend. 'We kinda… Decided to end things. And… God, it sounds like we dated or something’. He snorted.

'Well, it’s not far from the truth. There we dozens of girls practically begging for your attention, but the two of you always hid from them somewhere, hand in hand. I was so jealous at first’. You laughed.

'You were?’ Jimin looked at you strangely.

'Yeah… ’ You smiled, not noticing his gaze. Ornaments on the table seemed more interesting to you than his attentive eyes when you got so flustered. 'Sometimes I feel sad that our ways parted. I know, I know, people change, and I kinda expected that somewhere deep inside, but I’m not that… I’ve never been that important in the first place, joining you for a year and being an annoying bug, following you around while you and Kookie have known each other since Kindergarten. Connections like that can’t be ripped easily. You should call him, you know. Don’t be stubborn.’

The boy hesitated to answer. You didn’t look at him, so you couldn’t see what his face looked like.

Suddenly, and very unexpectedly, Jimin got really angry.

'How can you say that?!’

You looked up to see him staring at you intently.

'How… What?’

He brushed his hair back, shaking his head in disbelief, then smacked his palms on the table, earning a couple of anxious glances from the table to your right, where his colleagues sat at.

'Jimin, is everything okay?’ Some young man from the group asked him worriedly.

Jimin breathed audibly through the nose, heat running up his neck and covering his cheeks in splotches.

'You have no fucking idea.’ He whispered. 'How fucking hard it is sometimes. How hard it is still.’

You wanted to cry. He really scared you with this. The bitter taste in your mouth was a hint that you were going to weep pretty soon, and, seeing him so angry at you, so pissed off by only a sight of you, it made your fight-or-flight response kick in. You remembered his expression when he just saw you today, recalled the way he held himself too formal, smiling overpolitely - too distant and cold for the sweet and warm Jimin you knew before - always so understanding and ready to support your any idea no matter how stupid or wrong it was, and everything finally came into place.

It took three years and this encounter to dispel the illusion. They all despised you. Jungkook and Jimin. And maybe… Hobi did too?

It took no time grabbing your purse and storming out of the restaurant. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, but even through the pain you gave it one last chance and stopped to listen.

You prayed to hear his voice calling after you. He always went after you whenever you were mad or upset. Your Jimin would never leave you alone in the dark. He would always care that you got home safe. He was always… On your side.

But there was none. Nothing. Only dead silence and sound of droplets hitting the ground. Cold rain masked your tear-stained cheeks, being your only guard in the night.

You really hoped that Jungkook was happy tonight. He was turning 21, and you hoped he wasn’t crying like you, all alone.

But, no matter how hard you tried to persuade yourself that you were a good person, you wanted him to cry. Before going to bed that night you imagined his heart being broken into million unmendable pieces just like he managed to break yours.

Have you ever imagined what your life would be like if you were opposite gender? Would things be easier if you were a boy?

Sometimes you remembered summer days at the beach, when all of your boys went swimming, while you sat there, toes buried in sand and eyes trained at the water, full of jealousy.

You couldn’t tell them you were on your period, because in your small circle the term didn’t exist. You were the only female, and you four never talked about it. Such topics were reserved for girly talks.

The two youngest were utterly oblivious when you lied about water being too cold for you for the third day in a row. Hoseok, on the other hand, retreated to the shore right after dipping only once.

He plopped on a towel next to you and wiggled a little until his thigh and arm were flush to yours. His skin was wet and cold but you felt his warm stare while he examined your face.

'Does it hurt?’

You looked at him frowning.

'Your stomach. I heard that it hurts when you bleed. Just wanted to tell you that if you need anything: painkillers, pads, tampons, just tell me. Okay? I’ll go get them for you.’

You kept silent. The very idea of discussing periods with Hoseok was awkward as hell. What had gotten into him? You never… Mentioned tampons and…pads.

Denying would have been stupid. So you just shrugged, 'Why? So suddenly. ’

He pressed closer, lowering his head so no one on the beach could overhear you. 'Because I don’t want you to feel lonely when you’re with us. I would be the worst friend if I let you go through this alone. I don’t want you to be ashamed of anything in front of me, and I hate the idea of any of you three feeling helpless and silently suffering.’

'Okay… ’ You whispered, shame still licking at your insides but with his sweet words it dissipated a little.

'Yeah?’ He smiled that sunshine smile of his, like you made him the happiest man alive just by being there with him, and you reciprocated.

'Mhm. I don’t want that either. You can tell me everything too. ’

He looked so content watching the seawaves there by your side. Was it even possible not to fall in love with this person eventually? His precisely graven side profile, his lean body, his sweet vanilla scent - everything about him was extremely enticing and you quickly got trapped into his net.

He was a beautiful creature and every time he was around, saying these warm words, looking at you like that, you melted. If you had to pick one you wanted to touch the most it would have definitely been Hoseok. You wanted to trace his nose and lips with pads of your fingers, to caress his cheeks and brush his hair all the way to the nape of his neck, feeling his softness, his silkness everywhere. There was something about his presence that intoxicated you to the state of dizziness. To the state of craziness, making you completely forget about any decency.

You prayed he didn’t know that.

But sometimes you suspected that Jungkook did.

Sometimes you caught him staring at you while you stared at his childhood friend, and it made you sick to the stomach. You were disgusted by yourself. What if Jungkook really knew what was going on in your brain?

But then you checked again and he was already busy with something else, yelling loudly or jumping around. Maybe you were just making that up because there just had been too much on your mind since you started to hang out with them? Everything was new to you: you had never been best friends with a boy before, not to mention three boys all at the same time; you had never went on a trip with boys only. You basically didn’t know much about how they functioned. Their thinking, their behaviour were subjects you yet needed to study.

At that time, when everything just started, you couldn’t even imagine falling in love with three people at the same time.

But, eventually, you did. Jimin first. Then Hobi. And lastly… Jungkook.

It was inevitable.

When you changed schools, Hoseok greeted you on your first day, accompanying you to your class. You were so nervous you didn’t even remember his name, not to mention his face. Feelings came later. Much later.

You didn’t fit in from the very start. Girls seemed to ignore you, having already established their small friendship circles and not bothering to welcome someone new, and boys were… Boys were just boys. You weren’t the type to approach them first. They usually broke your heart, so you got used to keeping your distance.

However, there was someone who couldn’t bear you looking all lonely and sad. Pity was his weakest point and it did him no good. Eventually, he saved you just like he used to save kittens and dogs, abandoned and wandering around the streets.

On the third day of you sitting all alone, someone put a packet of strawberry milk right in front of you on your desk. When you looked up at him you saw a young boy with kindest smile holding his both hands up in a greeting. He was wearing only white shirt with a blue tie, no jacket, and you immediately recognized him as the student who went to the blackboard far more often that anyone else in the class. He was an A student, you figured.

'Hi, Y/N! What’s up?’ He asked cheerfully, taking the seat in front of you and turning so he could see you properly.

You blinked at him a few times before he laughed, the sound and his charming smile speeding up your pulse. 'I’m Jimin. And this is my favourite milk, very good one. You should drink it.’

Your first impression of him, apart from him being extremely cute, was that you really liked his laugh. And he did laugh a lot, turning out to be a very giggly person.

Strangely enough, after that day you started to hang out during the breaks pretty regularly. It went by the same scenario every day: he plopped on the seat in front of you and started a mindless conversation about homework or that day’s menu at the canteen and you just listened, relaxing in his presence day by day. He seemed to notice the way you spoke up more because soon enough he exchanged seats with a boy in front of you by bribing him with a box of chocolate and, finally, started to be around you all the time.

He blended in with your everyday life in a spance of a week, making you feel as if he had always been there. He helped you with equations you couldn’t solve or lend you pens and pencils, being just at arm’s length whenever you needed something. He acted unobtrusively, respecting your personal boundaries and keeping your relationship formal, and you were grateful for that.

Apart from the lunchbreak, when students had to go down to the canteen to grab some food. You couldn’t bear sitting at the dinner table all alone without Jimin, who tended to misteriously disappear from his desk right after the bell, so you prepared your own food at home and ate it in class. Asking him to take you with him felt pretty intrusive, so you just stuck to doing that, and, considering that there was no one except you usually, you felt fine on your own, not questioning Jimin’s absence too deeply.

Two weeks went by like this: you met in class, hung out together, parting for lunch, then got together after it, and said goodbye when he left home first. That was until one time he forgot his umbrella on the desk and you ran after him only to be hit by a muscular chest right in the face.

Strong hands immediately gripped your shoulders, preventing you from falling, and you were pressed to him tightly as he tried to regain balance. He smelled like cherry and you found it endearing. The boy quickly moved away and let you go as if embarrassed for touching you in the first place.

That’s when you looked at him properly and immediately regretted it.

He was the most attractive boy you had ever seen. The type you were most scared of, because it was 'your’ type. He was your type.

The guy you would definitely notice in a crowd. Type of boyfriend you always dreamed of having.

With thick black hair, all tall and strong. Muscular to the extent of it being noticeable, but not too much. Handsome face, gracious posture and smelling like cherry. Smelling like a treat. Presenting your dirtiest fantasy to life.

'Hey, JK! I told you to wait! Don’t go the-’ You heard Jimin shouting right before he emerged from the corridor. 'Oh, Y/N…’

You had never seen Jimin’s friends before. And, by the way Jimin glanced between the two of you, you supposed he wasn’t really fond of the idea of you meeting one of them.

'Y/N?’ The tall boy uttered, boring into your eyes and making you blush. His attention gave you no pleasure as you shrinked underneath it and not in a good way.

'Jungkook. Let’s go.’ Jimin said firmly, grabbing his umbrella from your hand, whispering a soft 'thank you’ to you and pulling Jungkook away. 'See you tomorrow, okay?’ He offered apologetically as they both moved back into the hall.

You just stood there, staring blankly at their backs while they departed, Jungkook turning his head to look at you again and again while Jimin pushed him forward.

When they disappeared behind the ladder, you had to grab the doorframe not to sink to the floor. Your heart was racing like it was you who just ran there all the way from the first floor and not Jimin.

The next morning you met as usual: Jimin stepped into the empty classroom, arriving early just like you, and took his seat, flashing you a blinding smile before dropping his backpack on the floor. You really wanted to ask him about Jungkook, about who he was and if he would come again later so you could see him once more. And despite feeling utterly flustered just by thinking about being near him again, you couldn’t help but seek for his presence, his face not leaving your thoughts since the moment he touched you. You were undoubtedly interested.

However, every time you tried to start a conversation about Jungkook, Jimin suddenly changed the subject or quickly came up with some urgent business he had to take care of. Eventually, you decided to drop it, afraid of being too pushy and losing your only friendly face among the students.

Days went by, and bearing with school became much easier as you finally broke the ice with some of the classmates. Jimin looked pretty satisfied watching you interact with others as if his job was successfully done.

Among the excitement of being finally accepted by people you almost forgot about Jungkook and the seeds of feelings he planted in you.

That was until he decided to find you first.

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jimin x reader #jungkook x reader #j hope x reader #jung hoseok x reader #jimin x y/n #jimin x you

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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766

My dad is starting to gear me up for ~adult life~ and has made me start a Paypal, a social security number, and all that jazz and it’s making me immensely anxious, so expect more surveys than usual in the next few days lmao.

How frequently are you inclined to read, and how much? Not frequent at all. I’ll read only if I have to; and when it comes to reading for leisure, I’ll only reread books I’ve already read in the past. I find it sad considering how big of a bookworm I was as a kid. When was the last time you questioned the direction your life was taking? Right now, what with the Covid crisis. My life would have been mapped out ever so neatly if my life’s schedule went as expected - finish the sem, finish my thesis, graduate, travel for a bit, get a job. Now that that has been thrown out the window I essentially have to start from scratch and go into the world blind. And if you've been reading my surveys, you’ll know my least favorite thing to have to deal with is big change. Would you say that your personal views align with society's, generally? Not the society I have no choice but to be surrounded by, which is mostly Catholic, homophobic, sexist, and just very backwards in general. But when it comes to people I voluntarily choose to be with, like the friends I make and the people I follow on social media, I make sure their views are as liberal as mine so I don’t go completely crazy. ^ If not, in what ways do your opinions drastically differ? I just said it, but yeah Filipinos continue to be very resistant to more open-minded, modern views. Girls will still often be told to cover up, religions other than Christianity are viewed as wrong and of lower status, abortion is the most scandalous thing a woman could do, drug addicts must be handled with bullets and not rehab, etc. Basically everything you can roll your eyes over, that’s what Filipinos will tend to side with; and it’s very difficult to want to have your voice heard here because you will be ridiculed and thrown Bible verses instead of legit arguments. What small things have the ability to get under your skin? People who only start picking their orders once they’re the ones at the cashier, drivers who do have their turn signal on but will go THE OTHER DIRECTION, finding out there’s a car accident and I find out traffic has been building up only because drivers slow down to look at the crash site. The last one makes me especially mad every time it happens lol.

When was the last time you were caused to be upset with someone? I haven’t been upset with anyone in a while. If I’m upset these days, blame it on the weather. ^ Have you made up with that individual yet, or will you ever? I will never be ok with the summer climate over here. What is something small that has the ability to cure a bad mood? Hearing a favorite song on the radio as I’m driving, hitting all the green lights while driving, finding a parking spot near the mall entrance... man I really miss going out :(( What beverage is best capable of quenching your thirst? Water. What was the last big change through which you went? It hasn’t happened yet but I’ll be graduating and will officially be done with school forever in a few weeks. I mean, that’s the case unless I decide to take up a master’s but honestly the chances of that are super blurry as I’m over school at this point. ^ Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? I am honestly terrible at it and as much as I’m excited to get my first real job, I’m also scared to see how my adjustment pans out. I’ve had a pattern for not being able to adapt well to a new phase – I didn’t adjust in high school until my junior year, and I didn’t adjust in college until the latter half of my sophomore year. I really wish the trend doesn’t continue in the workplace because I can’t handle another mental slump. How do you feel after spending a great quantity of time online? I feel nothing? I mean I need the internet to do almost everything so it’s just become a part of daily routine; it’s normalized already. I would tend to feel some shame if I’ve been unproductive online when I could’ve been doing much more important stuff, but I’ve been avoiding that - I’ve been working on my thesis again, working on stuff for my org, participating in my other extracurriculars, etc. I feel relatively productive given the current circumstances. What do you consider to be the biggest drawback to being you? Like I said, I’m terrible with change. It takes forever for me to warm up to new conditions, and in that period I tend to feel very alone and miserable. I don’t know why I’ve never learned to just get out and make friends earlier. What do you consider the best part of being who you are? ^ Related to said drawback, once I have adjusted to the change, I do very well. I make lots of friends and am back to being my bubbly, social self. I just wish She could come out more easily. What kinds of things do you have on display in your room? Several Audrey Hepburn frames, a couple of paintings, and a poster of a Korean actor. What do you think your room and its contents say about you, if anything? I think more than anything you’ll see how my interests have shifted over the years haha. There’s tons of old WWE magazines, Paramore albums, Beyoncé albums and DVDs, crafty stuff like painting sets and coloring books, etc. When was the last time you felt insecure about something/some situation? Half hour ago when my dad was encouraging me to register for a bunch of grownup stuff. He doesn’t pester me a lot in small bits everyday (which I would really prefer); he’s more of a I’ll-dump-all-this-shit-on-you-in-one-go kind of person, which pressures me even more. I mean I’m excited for this new chapter but I wish he didn’t tell me to start a bank account and a Paypal and a social security number and a TIN all at the same time. What is something about which you are very confident or self-assured? I pride myself on being a good worker/co-worker. Do you ever stop to contemplate infinity? No. Are you comfortable amongst nature, or does the wilderness discomfit you? Sure, it makes me feel at peace. When was the last time someone or something caught you off guard? Andrew did a buuuunch of progress on our thesis this afternoon after a few days of passive-aggressively telling him that I’ve been doing all the work in the last week. How much time do you put into maintaining your appearance and hygiene? I don’t want to take a lot of time since I’m usually on a tight schedule but I do put enough effort to look and smell nice, if that makes sense. Like I wouldn’t take hours to do my makeup and put up an intricate hairdo, but I will still make sure I don’t exit the house looking shabby. Are there any foods you eat daily? . . . Or wish you could? I have rice and some sort of meat everyday. When was the last time someone new entered your life? Start of the semester when we had a new wave of applicants joining our org. ^ What was your first impression of that individual? They all seemed nice and fun to be around, and I’m glad their batch has had amazing chemistry from the get-go. But because of the lockdown I never got to know them all that well so I’m a little sad about it, since I’m already graduating. Do you put much thought into your handwriting? No? It’s not really something I can control anyway haha. What are some of the top priorities in your life right now? Ugh I’ve talked about this so much on here that it’s almost stupid because I take these surveys to begin with to distract myself from my current anxieties only for the surveys to ask about said anxieties ksksksks. Can I say pass for now? Lol In general, how do you feel about romantic relationships? They’re nice, and it feels good to have a person you can share everything to, be affectionate with, who supports you in everything, etc. I’ve been used to being in one for so long now I honestly can’t imagine being single. Which emotional sensation inconveniences or bothers you the most? As if I haven’t talked about it on this single survey enough, anxiety. Are you capable of consoling others in their grief? It depends on how bad is the thing they’re grieving and how accepting they are of help. I don’t know if I’m capable of talking to someone who has lost a parent, but I’ll be able to talk to a friend who’s going through a breakup. Do you ever find it awkward to compliment another being? No. I can give compliments, but I’m unable to take them. When was the last time you had a new experience? What was it? Earlier this afternoon when my dad made me make a Paypal hahaha. Skskss plz stop reminding me of scary things Do you dress more for yourself, or to the expectations of others? A little bit of both. I want to look nice, but I also make sure I keep up with the trends so others think I look nice. What kinds of things tend to stress you out? The stuff I’ve mentioned throughout this survey... What is one way you cope when you feel like crap? I watch videos, I eat whatever I’m craving, I talk about it with my girlfriend, I hug my dog... I have a lot of coping mechanisms.

Name an insult you regularly receive, if there is one? My mom tells me so many insults on a regular basis I can put each one of them in a spinning wheel and give you whatever comes out lol. Name a site that takes up a lot of your time? YouTube. What is something you used to believe about life that you no longer do? That money was easy to acquire. It was certainly so easy to fantasize about as a kid. What is a lesson you have recently learned? I don’t recall picking up anything new lately. Realizations, sure; but I’m not sure about lessons. Do you have a tendency to look on the morbid side of life? Sometimes. When was the last time you went shopping? What did you buy? A weekend before the quarantine. I bought a couple of new tops. When you shop for clothing, how long does it take you? 10-15 minutes tops. I just pick out whatever looks pretty. What is something fun you have done within the past week? It’s been a horrid week. I can’t answer this question. What is something you hope you never have to do again? Stay at home with nothing to do for this long. How does the rain affect your mood, if it does? It makes me feel happy and at peace.

#survey #surveys

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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A How artistic are you? I’m not at all. Do you want to go to Africa? I’d love to stay at Giraffe Manor! AC/DC or Aerosmith? Aerosmith.  Do you know what Armenia is?  Yes.

B  What’s your beer of choice (if any)? Blech, none. Do you know the title of Buffalo Springfield’s one-hit wonder? Okay, I didn’t recognize the name so I Googled it and yes, I am familiar with their one hit wonder. I actually wasn’t familiar with the song title either, but after reading the lyrics I quickly realized what song it was. Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) I have two brothers, and yes I love them. Which bank do you use? Not sharing that. C  Which comedian do you most enjoy? I think Kevin Hart is funny. Would you ever live in California? I have all my life. Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady? *Dog lady, but yes. How many different countries have visited? Just one. D  Do you believe there’s a devil? Yes. But demons maybe? Yes. Does eating dessert often make you feel guilty? Nope. Can you legally drive? I’m definitely old enough to have my license, but I don’t. What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? Depression, anxiety, and other physical health stuff. E  How often do you drink energy drinks? I like to drink Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks often.  Where did you live when you were 11 years old? The house next door to where I live now, ha. We had our big move to the house next door to us haha about 10 years ago because our landlords wanted to install new flooring and stuff to our house, but since they had just finished this one they offered for us to just move in here lol. Do you like the actor who played Edward Scissorhands in that movie?  Why not just say Johnny Depp? Anyway, yes, I think he’s a very talented actor. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No, just aftershocks from one. F  When was the last time you saw your father one-on-one? Yesterday. Do you think French is the most beautiful language? I don’t know what I’d say is the most beautiful language. Is Friday your favorite day of the week? No. All the days are the same for me, so meh. Have you listened to Jimi’s song ‘Fire?’ Doesn’t sound familiar. G  Do you have real gold jewelry? No. How often do you watch ‘Gossip Girl’? I never have. Is Google your homepage? Yeah.  Do you like Geico’s commercials? Most of them are annoying. The gecko character is cute, though. H  When did you last feel happy? Uhhh. Do you prefer Hollister, Hot Topic, or H&M? Hot Topic is the only one I shop at now, but I used to shop at the other 2 as well. Did you dress up last Halloween? Nope. I stopped doing that a few years ago. Would you voluntarily watch the History Channel? Yeah and I do if there’s something of interest on. I  Have you ever been on an island? No. I live on one in Animal Crossing, though. ha. Would you be able to locate Indonesia on a globe? I think so. Do you know if Iceland or Greenland has more ice? Greenland. I remember it’s the opposite of their name for some reason.  Did you watch the last presidential inauguration? No. J  Do you enjoy jogging? No. On which instrument could you most easily play ‘Jingle Bells’? I’ve played it on the piano. How much do you know about John Lennon? *shrug* I know some stuff. Do you know how Jell-O is made? I know how to make Jell-O with the mix, but no I don’t know how the mix itself is made. K  Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) Yeah, but no they’re definitely not my favorite. They’re not real donuts to me, they’re just pure sugar.  How many pairs of khaki pants do you own? “Uh, khakis?” ha, if you know, you know. Anyway, I don’t own any.  Have you ever been a fan of the Killers? Yeah. L  Does it bother you when couples are lovey-dovey in public? No, unless they’re having like full on makeout sessions, straddling each other and feeling each other up and whatnot lol. Hand holding/locked arms/arm around each other, hugging, little pecks, and just being playful with each other is cute.  Do you have your own lighter (why or why not)? No. I don’t have a need for one. In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100? I can in Spanish. What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? Not a lollipop fan. M  Do you believe in miracles (why or why not)? I do because I'm a woman of faith. What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? I used to like watching Maury, Jerry Springer was just for laughs.  Do you care that Mars (the candy co.) uses deadly animal testing? I haven’t heard that... I’d have to fact check. How did you form your opinion of marijuana? Based off the research supporting that it has a lot of benefits. I was especially swayed when I saw how it helped cancer patients.

N  How often do you sleep naked? Never. I wouldn’t find that comfortable at all, I very much like being clothed. Do you actually check the Nutrition Facts before eating something? Not usually, but I sometimes will just out of curiosity.  Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with ‘N’? Nirvana.  How nerdy are you (in what ways)? I’m socially awkward, for one. I also cared about school and did well, which is often considered nerdy. Also, a book nerd, Star Wars nerd, Marvel and DC movies nerd... I enjoy those things so I don’t care, but they’re deemed “nerdy.” What do you think about olives? Black olives are good, green olives are gross. Are you much of an outdoorsy person? Not at all. The only time I enjoy being outside is when I’m sitting out at the beach. How big of an Oprah fan are you? I don’t really consider myself a fan. How often do you shop online?  Quite often. P  Are you looking forward to your prom? If you already went, how was it? My prom was over a decade ago D: Anyway, I danced with the guy I had a huge crush on at the time, so hey it wasn’t too bad. How are your local policemen? I think they do a pretty good job overall. What is your ideal PB&J sandwich like? Just peanut butter and grape jelly, pretty simple. What do you think of the movie ‘Pineapple Express’? I could not get into that movie at all. Q  How true is the saying, ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’? I mean, can’t say “never”, but the main point from the saying makes sense. Do you prefer Quiznos or Subway and why? I’ve gone to Subway many times, but I think I’ve only been to a Quiznos once or twice. Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) I think I actually remember it. What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who?  I don’t know. R  How many rooms are in your home? 2 bedrooms.  Do you like raspberries?  Nah. What’s one of your best memories from during a rain storm? Hmm. I don’t know, but I just really love that kind of weather.  Have you actually read Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’? Yeah, my freshman year in high school. S  Do you know any Sign Language? I know the alphabet and a few sayings. What is your sleeping schedule generally like? Oh, my sleeping schedule is an absolute joke. How well do you sing? I can’t sing well at all. How often do you listen to 60-70’s music? Now and then. I actually have several songs on my main Spotify playlist from those decades. T What do you think of Twitter? I like being able to post my random thoughts and following certain celebrities and just interesting people for funny and interesting stuff. How much do you value the Ten Commandments? I value them a lot. Are there many trees where you live? Not really.  How much taller/shorter do you wish to be? “I wish I was a little bit taller.” 🎶

U  Where do you usually buy your underwear? Various places. How do you define ‘ugly’? It goes a lot deeper than just the outer appearance. Do you like to shop at Urban Outfitters? I’ve only been to an actual store a couple times and I’ve checked out their website a few times, but I just think they’re ridiculously overpriced. V  Would you like being described as ‘voluptuous’? No one would use that word to describe me.  For listening to music, do you like to crank up the volume or keep it calm? I like it at a reasonable level, I don’t need it blaring. Do you ever watch the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show? They cancelled that a few years ago, but I never had any interest in watching that.  Would you agree that ‘variety is the spice of life’? Yeah. W  Are you currently on wireless Internet? Yeah, that’s all I have. I haven’t had to connect to a wifi router or whatever with a cord in a very long time. Can you recall memories of learning how to whistle? I still can’t do it. Do you go to White Castle or just vicariously through ‘Harold & Kumar'? I’ve never actually been to one cause they don’t have one anywhere near me (they’re on the east coast, I’m a west coast gal). I’ve only had the the White Castle burgers from the store that you cook in the microwave. I actually like them, but I’m sure the real deal is even better. X  Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? I had to get a CT Scan a couple years ago. When it comes to ‘xoxo’, do you interpret ‘x’ as the hug or the kiss? It’s hugs and kisses, so the X’s are hugs. What does X stand for in Roman numerals? Can you write the previous number? X is 10, IX is 9. Why do you think xylophones are only popular with young children? That’s true, that is a pretty common baby toy. At least it was when I was little. Also, I played the xylophone in music class in elementary school. I don’t know why that’s a thing with kids. Y  Can you explain the meaning of the yin-yang symbol? Opposite, but complimentary principles. Like, you can’t have good without bad, lightness without darkness, etc. It’s about balance. Do people more often mistake you as being younger or older than you are? Younger. Did you know that yawning is contagious? Yeah. Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing? I actually like Yoo-Hoo, but I prefer it in the little carton or whatever with the straw (kinda like a Capri Sun, but it’s a box carton). It’s the perfect size, not too much. The strawberry one is my favorite. I haven’t had one in a long time, though. Z  How many places’ zip codes do you know by heart? Uhh, not many. What comes to mind when I say ‘Zero to Hero’? Disney’s Hercules movie.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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