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buckybabesonly · 1 year

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Heart of Glass

Summary: You hate it when Bucky is mad, but it's a thousand times worse when you're the one he's mad at.

Pairing: Bucky x female!Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Warnings: Insecure reader, self-deprecation, self-harm (?)

A/N: I love stories like these so thought I'd take a stab at it. Please do leave feedback, they are always encouraging!

Length: 4.8k

It had taken Bucky a long time to open up to you. His journey of being able to face what he had done as the Winter Soldier was long and arduous, and still ongoing. He had vivid nightmares, ones which alleviated in frequency over the course of the last few years, but which still sometimes made an unwelcome appearance.

His own healing was a work in progress, so it was no surprise that it was still a struggle for him to divulge certain aspects to you. He found it difficult letting himself be vulnerable, even around people he trusted, and insight into his past had been offered to you in scattered pieces.

You had been patient, although you wished that Bucky would feel comfortable revealing more. You never judged him, and you just wanted to help and do your part in the recovery process, if you could. It was much worse hearing the exacerbated, hateful stories of the Winter Soldier from other people’s mouths - the Internet was a horrid place, and whilst there were still a lot of people who supported Bucky Barnes and the Avengers in general, there were just as many people who would not forgive him for being the Winter Soldier.

You knew that you shouldn’t have done what you did. You and Bucky had been together for just over a year, friends for three times that long. It hadn’t all been flowers and rainbows - it had been a tumultuous relationship and you had had your ups and downs, but at the end of the day, you knew you had found your person. You were both learning and growing together, navigating the tougher obstacles in your relationship with enthusiasm. You had finally found someone you were truly madly in love with, and you felt so lucky.

It wasn’t easy, working for S.H.I.E.L.D as an agent which was a demanding career in itself, and dating someone who was almost in constant danger and carrying out often life-threatening missions. But you made it work. Getting to love Bucky and have him love you back was worth anything, and you loved being able to see him smile and, what’s more, being his reason to smile.

On the same token, you hated seeing him unhappy. It was the most devastating feeling in the world, in times when he was disappointed in himself, or when he had woken up from a particularly bad nightmare, or after one of his mandated therapy sessions.

The worst thing was seeing him mad. And it’s a thousand times worse when you’re the one he’s mad at.

You knew that you shouldn’t have done it. You felt guilty as you passed your colleagues desk and your eyes naturally flickered to a familiar name in recognition. BARNES, JAMES BUCHANAN.

You frowned slightly, realizing that his file was on a pile alongside a couple of other familiar names. It wasn’t unusual for another agent to have his file out, particularly if he was looking into specific incidents that Bucky may have been involved in the past, but you had never actually seen it in front of you before.

Of course, it would have been easy for you to find the file and look for yourself. Everything had electronic copies these days, or you could have grabbed the physical copies from the archive. But you had never done it, as it just didn’t feel right. Reading up on your boyfriend’s past like his life was a history book.

Still, despite yourself, you paused. You found your hand reaching out and you took a deep breath of momentary hesitation before you flicked open the file.

An assortment of photos and documents were stacked neatly inside. You couldn’t help it as you found your eyes consuming the information, flicking from page to page. The guilt was building in your gut the longer you spent, standing slightly crouched over the desk, consuming the information with an uncomfortable lump in your throat.

You wanted to cry. You felt your hate for HYDRA increase ten-fold, thinking about all the pain they inflicted on Bucky to manipulate him into their own personal killing machine, thinking about how they had simply made him hurt all those people. Bucky often had the most stoic, cool exterior, but you knew inside he was just your soft, gentle boyfriend. The most beautiful man you knew had been forced to be an assassin against his will.

And now he had to live with the consequences. It’s so unfair, you thought as tears of anger pricked your eyes. You were a very empathetic person, especially when it came to him, and you found yourself feeling quietly furious.

You slammed the file shut, conflicted emotions making you feel both angry and guilty. You always had an idea of what HYDRA had made Bucky do, of course, but actually consuming the detail within his file had made it come to life in your mind. All you wanted during the course of your time with Bucky was to get a better view from his shoes, if only to help you relate a bit more to his suffering. You loved him so much and you wanted nothing more than to help him.

At the same time, you knew it wasn’t right, snooping like this. You always told yourself to just wait, and eventually Bucky would trust you enough to share everything.

You started to wonder if you had done something wrong as you slowly walked away from the desk, nibbling your bottom lip. You cleared your throat uncomfortably, frowning as the contents of the file plagued your mind. You decided you would have to come clean to Bucky about this.

“What?” Bucky said quietly, cocking his head to the side as if he really had genuinely misheard you. However, as you studied the look in his eyes, you knew that he had heard every word.

“I know it was wrong. Bucky, I’m - “

“If you knew it was wrong, then why did you do it?” Bucky interrupted, his eyebrows drawing together as he frowned. Anger was starting to distort his face, and he kept his voice quiet and low.

You were mute for a long minute, your cheeks flushing as he stared at you, waiting for you to speak. You were both stood in your bedroom, you with your back against the window and his against the door. The distance between you felt painful.

“Do you know what a violation of my privacy that is?” he continued when you didn’t speak, his jaw twitching.

“I was just trying to - just trying to understand,” you said, trying to find the right words. “I just thought that if I knew what they did to you, then I could help you.”

“How would you be able to help?” Bucky was furious, but in that quiet, almost calm way that frightened you the most. His brow was slightly furrowed, corners of lips turned down into a frown, but the biggest giveaway was his clenched fists. They were shaking almost impercetibly.

It was scarier when he didn’t raise his voice, and your fingers twitched uncomfortably by your sides, wanting to reach out to him.

“I don’t know,” you whispered. “I thought that if I could understand what happened, then maybe I could help with your nightmares, help talk to you about the past.”

Bucky exhaled loudly, shaking his head. “Are you my therapist? What were you hoping to do, read my entire past and diagnose me?” He regarded you with a look of bewilderment and fury.

“No, I - “

“No, listen,” Bucky said, frustration rising in his throat, breaking his barely composed facade. “Do you have any idea how messed up that is? There’s a reason why I didn’t tell you everything at my own pace, and you went behind my back and fucking investigated me? How do you think that makes me feel? You couldn’t even respect me enough to let me tell you out of my own choice!”

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. You knew you had fucked up majorly. He was glaring at you, waiting for you to say something.

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I really didn’t have any bad intentions, I just - “

“It doesn’t matter,” Bucky spat out. “It doesn’t matter that you didn’t have any bad intentions. You think I’m proud of what I did as the fucking Winter Soldier? It haunts me, and I have to live with him for the rest of my fucking life. I - I trusted you, and you betrayed it.”

I let out a slight whimper at his words, knowing the venomous words he was spitting out was completely true.

“I have to fight so hard, every day, not to fall apart with the knowledge and memories of what the Winter Soldier did, what I did.”

“Bucky, please,” you said, taking a step forward, tears pricking your eyes. “I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that, I am so, so sorry.”

Bucky shook his head, moving away from me and lifting his hands as a warning. “Don’t. Just - don’t.”

He turned his back, making to leave.

“Can we just talk about this?” you asked desperately, not wanting him to go. You were terrified that he wouldn’t come back.

“I need some space,” Bucky said sharply without turning to look back at you. He left and pulled the door shut with such force that you jumped, tears finally escaping.

You had no idea how you were going to fix this.

Bucky and you had one rule. Never go to bed angry at each other.

It was a rule you had instigated. You hated going to bed whilst you were in the throes of a fight, and the first time you had argued - something petty, really - you had pouted at Bucky and demanded that you make up.

He was relieved at that time as it was such a silly fight and he was anxious that you would give him the silent treatment. But he laughed as you jumped into his arms, kissing his cheek and letting him know all was forgiven.

“New rule - we can’t go to bed angry at each other,” you had announced at the time.

“Yes, my liege,” Bucky had responded.

Bucky wasn’t answering your calls or texts. You left 15 voicemails and 24 text messages, all apologizing and asking him to talk. You knew you should give him space, as it was only fair for him to digest what had happened and process, but you felt like you couldn’t function.

You wanted him by your side so you could apologize over and over again and tell him, genuinely, how regretful you were.

There was no excuse. Your face was tear-stained and eyes puffy as you paced your apartment, the clock having struck midnight a long time ago, with no sight of Bucky.

When four AM rolled round, you finally passed out on the couch whilst waiting for him. When your alarm rudely woke you up at seven, you startled and immediately ran into the bedroom, although you knew he wouldn’t be there.

The bed was empty, still made from the previous morning and untouched.

You could cry all over again.

You hurried to get ready nonetheless, and made your way to the Avengers Tower. You were involved in some S.H.I.E.L.D projects that were being hosted there, and you knew it was the place Bucky was most likely to be.

You checked your phone obsessively on the way to the Tower. No calls or messages from Bucky.

You groaned internally. He had never ignored you like this before. The gravity of the situation was slowly growing heavier and heavier - he was your Bucky, the one who always took care of you and worried over you and was by your side almost 24/7 whenever he wasn’t out on a mission, but now he was actively avoiding you.

More and more fear started to creep into the mix alongside the guilt. Would Bucky leave you over this?

When you arrived at the Tower, you expected it to be a lot harder to find him than it was. But he was in the training room, the first place you looked.

“Bucky,” you said quietly as soon as you saw him. He was serving blows mercilessly to a punching bag hung from the ceiling, as if he needed the practice. You knew he was letting off steam. He was dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair hanging over his forehead in sweaty tendrils, his face slightly red.

Bucky barely even flinched. He didn’t acknowledge you at all, eyes never leaving the bag in front of him.

“Can we talk?” you asked tentatively.

No response.

“Bucky, if you don’t reply, I’m just going to start talking at you, and I really don’t want to do that,” you said. All you wanted him to do was at least look at you.

Bucky stopped then and you heaved a sigh of relief. But instead of speaking, he simply wrapped a towel around his shoulders and turned his back on you, leaving out of the door on the other side of the room.

You felt rocks fall to the bottom of your stomach, and the urge to cry reared its ugly head yet again.

Bucky hadn’t spoken to you for two days. He hadn’t returned to your apartment for two days.

You had cried all of those days. You tried to find him and corner him to make him face you, but after that day in the training room, he had really been avoiding you. You had only seen him once in those two days, and he immediately disappeared as soon as he saw you.

It hurt so much. Like someone had stabbed you and, what’s more, was twisting the handle.

You knew you deserved it. You had really hurt Bucky, but part of you was still terrified of what he would do. How long would he wait until he decided to speak to you again? Was he going to break up with you?

You didn’t know how to fix it. You were ashamed to tell Sam, even though you wanted to ask his advice on what to do. You had done something so bad that you didn’t want to face his disappointment, too, although you were certain Bucky may have already told him.

Still, it hurt so bad. All you wanted Bucky to do was hug you and tell you it was alright, instead you were met with indifference and the back of his head. He wouldn’t even look at you.

You would rather he shouted at you, screamed at you, anything to actually make him talk and acknowledge your existence. But he continued to ice you out, and your heart was breaking.

Bucky knew he loved you even before you officially became a couple. He loved how funny you were, how hard working you were, how you always listened to his side of the story, how you took care of him and patiently explained anything to him that he still didn’t quite understand about the modern world.

There were a lot of great women, but to Bucky, you had stood out. From day one, you had cared about him. Little things, like asking about his favorite songs from the 40s, making sure his head was covered with your umbrella when it was raining even though your shoulder was getting wet, ensuring he got three solid meals a day and that his favorite snacks were stored in the pantry.

Bigger things, too, like letting him share the burden of his past with you without ever a word of judgment or disdain, encouraging him to visit his parents’ grave on the anniversary of their death and making the journey with him, sharing memories of Steve whenever Bucky was missing him. You were his rock, and he felt like he had mined the most precious diamond.

He knew he could tell you anything, but his sordid past as the Winter Soldier was still something he was trying to overcome himself. He was ashamed, and part of him was worried that you would suddenly think less of him. See him as the monster that he used to be, the monster that he sometimes saw himself as.

He hated the thought of poisoning your mind with unsavory images of himself and the knowledge of what he had done.

He was so angry to know that you saw his file. But the majority of his feelings came from the fact that he was so laden with guilt. He didn’t want you to know the ugly truth when all you had seen of him so far was the better version of himself that he was trying to be.

How could he forget his past when you knew every disgusting detail now, too? When you had now also seen the faces of all the people he had killed?

At the same time, he believed you when you said you were just trying to help. That was just your nature. He knew that you genuinely thought if you understood, you could offer assistance and ease his silent torment.

But anger prevailed, and he found himself ignoring you for days, even though he felt so immature doing it. He just couldn’t face you right now, even as you stared at him with wide, hopeful eyes. He could barely avoid meeting your gaze and instead chose to turn away completely, as if pretending you weren’t there would alleviate the pain. He was afraid that if he looked at you a little too long, his resolve would shatter.

It was exceptionally poor timing that your birthday rolled around after five days of total radio silence from Bucky. You had forgotten, actually, until you entered the Tower and a fellow agent had wished you a happy birthday.

You gave her a weak smile as you muttered some made up plans about how you would be celebrating.

You wanted to burst out crying when you saw Bucky that morning, in the kitchen at the Tower.

He was leaning against the kitchen island, a smile on his face, a smile you hadn’t seen for almost a week. He was talking to an agent, a decent girl you had worked with before. You liked her, actually, as did a lot of people. He was talking to her about something, looking more relaxed than you had seen him since you had the fight.

He hadn’t noticed you as you observed the two of them. You didn’t think anything flirtatious was going on, but still, it hurt to see him smiling softly at someone else when he hadn’t paid you any attention for so long.

Part of you wasn’t sure if Bucky was going to speak to you today. But it was your birthday, after all - he always made a big deal out of it, asking you what you wanted to do and making sure you got a cake and flowers and all the romantic works. He always told you that you were his greatest gift, and so he couldn’t miss celebrating the day that you were brought into the world.

If he didn’t speak to you today, you think you would be sick.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t realize the agent Bucky was talking to was leaving, and as she walked past you, you felt Bucky’s eyes on you. You met his gaze hesitantly, blinking wordlessly.

He paused, and you could almost see the gears turning in his brain as he decided what to do.

His smile dissipated, and he turned his back on you.

When you returned home that night, you cried your eyes out. You sat on the couch forlornly, staring at the door, half-expecting him to burst through at any moment with an apology and kisses waiting to be pressed onto your lips.

Midnight struck, and you went to bed alone.

Six days.

Bucky had not spoken to you in six days, and honestly, he felt like shit.

He had never been so angry at you before, but he was surprised at himself that his silent streak had lasted so long. To be honest, the time had passed quickly, as he had kept himself as busy as possible.

As Bucky came down from his angry high, the feeling of guilt and sadness overwhelmed him at the thought of you being unhappy. He knew that this period of time would be tough on you, although he stood by his point that you should not have read his file behind his back, especially as you knew how sensitive he was about his past.

And yet, ultimately, he recalled that you only had his best interests at heart, even if you were going about it the wrong way. He sighed as he approached the Tower elevator, stepping inside just as Sam came running down the hallway, shouting at him to hold.

Bucky stabbed the close door button repeatedly, cursing as Sam slid past just in the nick of time, punching him playfully.

“You in a mood, princess?” he snickered, taking note of the dark circles under Bucky’s eyes. “You been up all night with your girl?”

Bucky let out a tsk. He sighed as the elevator descended.

“No. Haven’t spoken to her actually,” he admitted.

“Woah, wait. What do you mean?” Sam asked when he realized Bucky was being serious.

“Had a fight,” Bucky said reluctantly.

Sam frowned lightly. “On her birthday?”

Bucky froze as he opened his mouth to clarify that the fight had began a few days ago. His mind racked to confirm today’s date.

Shit. It was your birthday yesterday.

“Oh fuck,” Bucky said, head lolling back to bash against the glass elevator wall.

“You okay, man?” Sam asked, clearly concerned.

“I messed up,” he sighed in response, pinching the bridge of his nose. God, now he wanted to cry. How could he do this to you? He was already beginning to feel like he’d gone overboard with his reaction as the days passed and the red haze of anger dissolved from his eyes, clouding his better judgment, but now he truly felt like he had gone about everything so wrongly.

You had always gone on about the importance of communication in a relationship, and how you both needed to work together to overcome any challenges, and that one of the things you valued the most was being open and honest.

He imagined you sat alone at home, on your birthday, waiting expectantly for him to turn up.

His chest hurt.

You lay down in bed as the sun set, darkness filling the room.

You had the covers over your head as the tears wet your pillow, your head hurting so much from all the crying and dehydration.

Your world was truly coming down around you. You were about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to you. Bucky was going to leave you, and it was your fault. The past few days had really unveiled your most deep rooted fear, that the love of your life was going to abandon you.

“You’re so stupid,” you whispered to yourself. “So stupid. So fucking stupid.”

You ignored the incessant buzzing of your phone. Your friends had been calling you since your birthday yesterday, concerned that you hadn’t picked up even once. You didn’t care. If Bucky wasn’t here, then you just wanted to be alone.

You always knew you weren’t good enough for him. Always knew that he would leave you eventually. Out of all the people in the world, what on earth would make him choose you?

You threw the covers off of you as a new surge of rage overwhelmed you.

“You are so fucking stupid!” you screamed out loud, letting the anger seep through your body, expel through your lungs. You stormed over to your mirror and punched the glass once, twice, until it cracked and sliced your knuckles, blood trickling immediately over your hand.

Bucky was going to leave you.

Your knees buckled and you collapsed onto the floor, head hanging as tears dripped down onto the carpet.

“So stupid,” you continued in a whisper. “So useless, so stupid, so -”

“What the fuck are you doing?” came a loud voice, and your head snapped up with such speed that your head spun.

Bucky was standing in the open doorway, expression aghast as he took in the sight of you. Red, swollen eyes, bleeding hand, sitting in front of the broken mirror.

“Bucky,” you said weakly, voice trembling. He had come back to break up with you.

You always knew he would do it eventually. Your relationship was too good to be true.

“Oh my god,” Bucky hissed as he darted forward, moving down on his knees to join you and gently lifting your wounded hand. “What have you done?”

You started to cry again, feeling so pathetic. Bucky shook his head, eyes frantic.

“No, no, no, doll, please don’t cry,” he said, his voice softening.

“I’m sorry,” you garbled, voice thick with guilt. “I know I fucked up, I know. I’m so sorry Bucky. Please don’t leave me.”

The desperation in your voice broke Bucky’s heart. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you as tight as he could without hurting you, pressing his lips against the top of your head.

“Listen to me. I’m not going to leave you,” he said firmly. He pulled back and studied your face carefully, trying to keep his voice steady for your sake. “I need to patch you up, okay?”

You sniffled, nodding once before he stood up and disappeared into the bathroom. He reappeared with a first aid kit, kneeling down once more and inspecting your hand.

“Why did you do that, doll?” he murmured, a pained look in his eyes as he began to clean you up. It wasn’t a serious injury, just a scratch compared to some of the other battle wounds you had received in the past, but the idea that you had done that to yourself made Bucky so sad.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered again. “I’m just - I don’t know. I’m so angry at myself. Please will you forgive me? For everything?”

Bucky’s eyes welled up as he paused with his tending to your hand, biting down hard on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying. You were the most important person in the world to him and he had been pushing you away, had completely forgotten your birthday, and you had hurt yourself because of him when all you wanted was to help him.

“I forgive you,” he whispered, kissing your forehead tenderly. “Will you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive you for,” you insisted as he resumed cleaning your wound. You could see his eyes were wet, and you were nonplussed at why that would be.

“Yes, there is,” Bucky said, wearing a look of shame that you didn’t understand. “I know that your heart is always in the right place. Instead of talking to you about it, I just shut you out. No matter how angry I was, I shouldn’t have done that. I hurt you.”

He worked quickly, bandaging your hand and slowly holding your wrist after. His solemn blue eyes finally met yours.

“I love you so much. I should have stayed to talk, but I just… left. I shouldn't have done that.” He took a deep breath. “I walked away because I couldn’t stand the thought of you knowing everything. Knowing all the people I’ve killed - some of them innocent people. Read about how cold I was, the - the complete lack of mercy I showed. I am a monster.”

“Bucky,” you whispered, lifting your good hand to tenderly touch his face. You were hesitant, as if you were afraid he would withdraw from your touch. Instead, he leaned against your palm, eyes closed. He turned to press a kiss into your hand.

“I thought - “ you began, taking a deep breath at the insecurity and uncertainty that still plagued you. “I thought you were going to break up with me.”

Bucky’s eyes opened to stare at you forlornly, as if hurt that you would even have this thought.

“Never,” he said firmly. “You have no idea how much I have missed you.”

You launched yourself into his arms then, willing Bucky’s strong arms to encircle you. He did just that, holding you close as you sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

“Let me make it up to you, okay?” Bucky murmured. “Belated birthday celebration.”

“It’s enough that you’re here,” you whispered.

You still had a lot to talk about, but you felt so much better now that Bucky was standing by your side again. Maybe everything was going to be alright.

#bucky fic #bucky x female reader #bucky angst #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky one shot #bucky angst one shot #bucky x you fight

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purple-babygirl · 3 months

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my bucky?

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x f!reader (reader is little in the very beginning)

Word count: 7,390

Summary: Bucky's angel finally sees the hidden side of him.

Warnings: details of violence, kidnapping, getting shot, physical abuse by kidnappers, slapping, too much crying, angst

A/N: to all the nonnies that came to me once and asked "what if angel saw bucky beating someone up?" "what if angel gets kidnapped?", this is for you💜 i hope you have a good time with this one, loves x💜

Whenever he’d think of her, he’d think of jasmines. Soft, fragrant, pure-looking, fragile, beautiful jasmines. Like jasmines, she released her sweet perfume engulfed by the darkness of his night. Only he got to bask in her aroma. And like a jasmine in autumn, he’d fallen for her evergreen soul and he’d fallen hard.

Bucky knew she saw him through a pink lens. She ate up his lies like candy and although he felt bad, he knew it was for the best. He could visibly see her running out the door whenever he’d imagine someone opening her eyes to how cruel he actually was. It was selfish, but it was easier for him and safer for her this way. Better for both of them.

Luck wasn’t exactly his best friend though.

Bucky would never forget the look in her innocent, teary eyes as she watched him literally beat the life out of a man with all his might. He knew it was fairly stupid of him to do it in the back of his own garage, right next to his house where she was peacefully getting ready to call it a night. But he just couldn’t hold back when he saw the guy’s dumb face when his men brought him in.

“Miss?” She found Roseanne by the door, looking more nervous than usual.

She was shocked, no, terrified at the scene she couldn’t take her eyes away from. How and why was she even here in the first place?

Daddy said he’d be back for story time but he hasn’t been back yet. What was taking him so long?

She couldn’t fall asleep if his voice wasn’t lolling her to sleep. She couldn’t fall asleep if it wasn’t in his arms. Life without him just didn’t make sense anymore.

She got out of bed, slipped in her fluffy cat slippers and went on a little quest to find him. Bucky was always happy to see her so he’d forgive her for getting out of bed where he’d expected her to wait.

“Roseanne, have you seen my Bucky?” she asked with a smile.

“I think he’s busy right now, miss. You better wait in your room where it’s warm,” Roseanne tried to tempt her, using the cold as a good reason why she shouldn’t go outside where Bucky was.

The young woman looked distressed, like she was scared of something.

“What’s wrong, Roseanne? Is daddy okay?” she questioned the poor maid, her smile leaving her face.

“Yes, miss. Don’t worry. He’s just a little busy but he’ll be here soon.”

“Is he in the office?”

“I— I don’t know, miss. I think he is,” Roseanne lied.

She tilted her head suspiciously before running to the office to check it out, leaving Roseanne’s pleads for her to get back to the bedroom behind.

It seemed even more suspicious now that Bucky was nowhere to be seen in his office. It didn’t feel right and she had to find Bucky and make sure he was okay. Bucky always knew how to calm all her worries. He knew what to do and what to say.

Bucky protects her and is here for her.

But wait a minute, she didn’t hear his car leave. And if the car didn’t leave then Daddy was certainly in the house, she just missed him while looking.

She roamed the whole mansion, up and down, checking every room twice and she still couldn’t find her daddy.

Her mind was getting cloudier and she was getting more scared. Did daddy leave? Where would he go without letting her know that he’d be leaving? Why didn’t he kiss her forehead goodnight before leaving?

She made her way outside the main door and took sure steps to the large garage, once again taking no regard of Roseanne’s begging, confident in her smart train of thought.

When she arrived at the garage though, the pants she heard startled her to a halt as she ducked behind the black Range Rover.

Was that really Bucky? Her Bucky? Beating up a man to the point where his features weren’t recognizable anymore? That wasn’t possible. Her daddy was a sweetheart. He was the gentlest man she’s ever met and he wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. She knew he was feared because of his work, but he couldn’t kill anyone. Could he?

She peeked around and fell silent as a rock. The sight before her made her feel cold, leaving her poor mind perplexed.

On the first look, she couldn’t fathom what she was looking at. She wanted to look away. She did. But she couldn’t will her head to turn even just a little.

“How stupid do you have to be to think I wouldn’t know you were sent here to hurt my girl?”

A stronger pang hit her little heart when she realized this was happening because of her.

No, this was no bad dream though she’d hoped with all her heart that it was.

She’d made Daddy promise that he wouldn’t hurt anybody on her behalf. He’d promised to choose forgiveness if it was an option. It didn’t make any sense.

Was she too sleepy that she was seeing things? Did her little mind fall asleep without a story anyway and she was having a nightmare?

Sam had seen her first, wide eyes tearing up at the sight of her man smashing another’s face with his fist. He’d tried to tell Bucky, but it was too late. She’d already seen it all.

Those fingers that have ever so tenderly glided across her cheeks time and time again were hidden behind brass knuckles, covered in someone’s blood. That jaw that has only ever tensed from smiling too much around her was clenched, making him look scarier than she could’ve ever imagined him to be. His eyebrows were furrowed and his breaths heavy as he repeatedly and ruthlessly punched the man on the chair.

Her fear intensified when she’d recognized the beaten up man as their newest driver. She remembered him trying to repeatedly ask her if she wanted to go get ice cream with him when Bucky wasn’t home. She also remembered saying no like she was taught. She remembered Bucky promising to choose forgiveness if it was an option again and she saw him break his promise.

“Bucky, enough!” Sam pulled him away from the tied up guy, head nodding to the black vehicle.

Her head went dizzy when she thought of all the men she’d complained to Bucky about since they’d started their relationship. Have they all faced the same fate?

Who was this heaving, bloody-fisted beast before her? Did she ever know Bucky at all? Was he ever truthful about anything he’d told her or was it all just a big lie? How could she trust him with herself ever again? Who was her daddy really?

The walls around Bucky collapsed and he almost collapsed with them when he saw her face. She was there and she’d seen everything. His angel saw it all. His angel was scared. She was scared of him.

“Angeră?”

Her legs no longer wanted to hold her up once she heard his hoarse voice. The air was out of her lungs as she took slow steps back until she pressed herself to one of the grey walls behind her. The stuffie in her hands fell to the ground and with it her heart.

She wanted to run, but her cold body wouldn’t budge. Maybe if she could go back to the house right now, listen to Roseanne, stay in bed, and pretend this never happened, Bucky would miraculously come back with a perfectly healed, clean hand and they would peacefully have a cuddling session while his loving voice told her a story.

“Please don’t hurt me,” she begged, her voice above a whisper as she cowered away from him.

Bucky carefully walked closer, visibly watching her hands tremble. He raised his clean hand to caress her cheek like he always would when she needed him to calm her down.

He wasn’t expecting her to lean into his touch like she was used to, but it still shot daggers to his heart when she flinched, closing her eyes in fear and letting out the tiniest whimper.

“Angel, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Bucky’s broken voice had her heart clenching as she saw him trying to muster up a smile.

“Stay away from me,” she said in panic when he tried to take another step towards her.

“Angeră—”

“Please, Bucky, I’m sorry.”

She didn’t call him daddy or even her Bucky. She couldn’t.

“Baby, let me—”

She shook her head, running away from a shattered Bucky, almost tripping on her own feet.

“Go, we’ll take care of him,” Sam told him, patting his shoulder.

He watched her run as if she was escaping a wild lion, terrified and fearing for her life.

Bucky slammed his fist into the concrete wall where his love once leaned before slipping the brass knuckles off his probably broken fingers and hearing them clank on the ground. He rested both palms on the wall and let his head fall down as he breathed hard.

“Dragă, nu! Te rog, (love, no please)” Bucky begged, his hands grabbing her forearms to stop her from throwing more of her things into the suitcase.

Bucky ran like a mad man on the way to their house. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to justify what she’d just witnessed him do.

She called him Bucky with glossed over eyes. She was bordering on little and he just gave her the trauma of her life. He had no answers to any possible question she might rightfully throw at him. Bucky only knew that he couldn’t lose her; she was the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

He busted through the front door and ran up the stairs only to be met with her frantically packing her things, fat tears soaking her face as she hiccupped out sobs.

“Please let me leave.” Her voice trembled and more tears left her eyes. His right hand had dried blood all over it and it made her skin crawl.

“Please don’t,” Bucky pleaded again, on the verge of crying himself.

“I’m really scared. Please don’t make me stay here,” she begged Bucky, trying to slip out of his grip.

“Angel, please believe me. I will never hurt you,” Bucky swore, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Angel, of course I love you! Please just stay and listen to me, baby.” Tears rolled down Bucky’s cheeks as he took a dress out of her hands before she could pack it.

“Did you ever really love me? Would you really never hurt me? Was anything you ever told me the truth?” Her voice was way too innocent as the questions left her trembling lips.

She didn’t even sound like she was blaming Bucky, she just sounded confused. Disappointed. Hurt.

“I wanna leave. Please let me leave,” she repeated, crying harder as she tried not to let herself crumble down on the floor of their bedroom.

“Angel, please don’t say that.” Bucky shook his head, holding onto her writs for dear life, “I can’t live without you, love. I can’t.”

She looked up at him and the look she gave him let him know she wasn’t little anymore.

Bucky despised himself for making her feel and think that way, “angel—”

“Why did you ever take me? Why did you bring me here?” She asked, the reproach hurting her too, “I didn’t know what love was before you. I trusted you. I trusted you with my heart, Bucky.”

She was saying everything that came to her mind, unable to keep her thoughts inside or else it felt like they might suffocate her. She was mad at herself for letting herself trust and love when she shouldn’t have.

“Are you used to doing this to people? Do you kill people, Bucky?” Her voice broke as she asked, already fearing the answer.

“Angel, please.”

“No, answer me.” Her eyebrows furrowed in sadness, anxious of the reply she was about to receive.

Bucky closed his eyes, not wanting to see her face when he told her his truth, “yes.”

“Yes.” Bucky nodded, hot tears leaving his closed eyes.

Her breath hitched at his answer, making more tears leave his eyes.

“D-Did you do this to the other guys I complained about before, too?”

“Did you kill them?” Her tone fell with her heart.

Bucky only swallowed, going dead silent at her question.

“Oh my god.” She cried, her knees almost giving out as she tried to get her arms free from his grip.

“No, no, angel, I only drove them out of town. They’re alive.” He assured her, leaving out the details about the probable permanent disabilities some of them left town with.

“Why?” She sobbed, her shoulders hurting from squirming in his grasp with no avail.

“They were bothering you.”

“So this makes it okay to kidnap them and beat them up?!” She screamed, her tears never drying up.

“I wanted to protect you,” Bucky whispered, his heart dropping at the realization of how his angel must see him now.

“Protect me from you then and let me go.” Her words shot daggers right into the mafia boss’ chest.

“I can’t believe I loved you so much.” She whispered, mostly to herself, lamenting her foolish, trusting heart.

“Angel, I can’t. You know I can’t.” He knew she was right, but he couldn’t let her leave.

She was his whole world; his life and everything good in it.

“Loved?” Bucky could hear his heart shattering.

“Loved,” she replied despite herself, knowing too well that she was lying.

Bucky finally let her arms go after her confirmation. He knew that if he tried to hold her back now she would only end up hating him. He would rather have her leave him than hate him. He wouldn’t be able to take it.

“I’ll tell the driver to get the car ready so he could take you to your grandma’s,” Bucky told her without looking up, wiping away his tears. For now.

She didn’t reply, and only continued shoving clothes into the bag.

“I just want you to know that I’ll always be here whenever you need me. I will always be yours, angel. Even if you’re no longer mine. I love you and I will love you until the day I die.”

But all of this was nothing compared to the fear that shot up her spine when she heard gunshots making contact with the car she was inside, forcing the driver to stop abruptly.

Bucky’s last words had her sobbing even harder as she fell to her knees the moment he left her alone in the room.

She didn’t want to leave him and she never saw a day like this one coming, but she knew it was only right that she did. They were different from the beginning and she was wrong to let herself live in a daydream for too long. She had no place in Bucky’s world.

The drive back to her grandma’s house was torture. The pain of being fooled could only be overruled by the pain of fearing the only man she’s ever loved. She couldn’t ignore the feeling that she was leaving a piece of her behind in the mansion that the car just drove away from. She knew that piece was her heart and she knew that she was most likely never going to get it back. It will forever remain with Bucky.

Her tears kept coming as she silently wept in the backseat.

Pathetic fallacy was at its highest and the skies were sobbing with her. It was cold and the roads were muddy, thunder hitting every now and then, making trees shudder where they were rooted.

She cried more knowing Bucky would no longer be there to hold her through thunderstorms.

The man and the guard next to him got out their own guns but it was too late for them to do anything as another couple of bullets were shot, going right through their heads. The driver fell lifeless, face first on the driving wheel and she felt her heart stop with his.

“Let me go for your own good,” she said, trying to keep her tone confident and her pain veiled.

Before she could even think of a route to run in, a bag was put over her head, her screams futile as she got violently dragged to another vehicle before it all went completely dark with a hit to the back of her head.

“I thought we were past that shit, babygirl. Three days didn’t teach you who’s in charge yet?” Lloyd Hansen, Bucky’s biggest enemy, asked her with a provocative smile.

She was in absolute agony.

She let oud a loud, pained scream, desperately trying to pull her arm from underneath his huge shoe.

They’d untied her an hour ago after she claimed she needed the bathroom, a guard on her tail as he led her through the abandoned building.

Once inside the toilet, she managed to pick up the upper part of the toilet seat. She gained the guard’s attention with a scream, going down on his head with the heavy ceramic piece as soon as he opened the door to check on her.

She managed to run as far as the hallway of the floor she was in before a very angry Lloyd grabbed her. She surprised him with a harsh slap across the face, taking the chance to run again when he froze for a second.

Lloyd got even angrier, stretching his leg and knocking one of her feet off the ground, making her fall over. He walked over her crawling body and evilly stepped on her right wrist.

“I can’t wait to kill you,” Lloyd said, not taking his foot off before he heard a snap and a loud screech from her.

Lloyd got hold of her hair, dragging her all the way back to the room where she was previously tied up.

He tied her to the same chair again, only this time one arm got the ropes while the other was left to redden and swell.

Now she was here, on the same chair, throwing empty threats as she’s almost given up hope that Bucky might find her.

“Aww, did you hear that, boys? Little slut right here is worried for our good,” Lloyd mocked her, laughter erupting and filling the room in response.

“You’re not getting out of here, babygirl,” he spat, his voice laced with venom, “this is where you die.”

“Let me go. I won’t say it again.” Her voice almost shivered with her heart at the end of her warning.

She was scared, and in so much pain, but she couldn’t let it show. She wouldn't even cry and was sweating like crazy from the ache in her dangling wrist. She was Bucky Barnes’ girl.

“You’re making the demands now? Not even a “please” to persuade me?” Lloyd moved his face closer to hers, slowly pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear with a smirk, “or do I have to heat you a bottle to get to meet your polite side?”

She felt her face go hot as her eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t stop herself from spitting in the bastard’s face, “fuck you”.

Next thing she knew was his rough hand slapping down hard on her cheek, making her go dizzy. Blood trickled out of her nose and down to her lips right after and she couldn’t hold back her tears this time.

She was tired. Terrified. She needed Bucky.

“Your filthy mouth isn’t anything short of your boyfriend’s, but don’t worry, if you don’t know how to be respectful to your masters I have ways to teach you, and believe me, I can’t wait to start your lessons.” Hansen smirked at her wrist before spitting back at her and leaving with everyone else.

She cried harder than she has ever before, tears and blood mixing. Her body was shivering and her arms aching from being tied up in the most uncomfortable position and smashed down under Lloyd’s boot.

There was no way out for here, was there?

She knew she was done for and she didn’t have any last wishes except for getting to tell Bucky that she loved him and that she will never stop loving him one last time.

She couldn’t even pay her pain or blood any attention when all she could think about was Bucky and how he would have never let anything like that happen to her.

She remembered his soft smile that only she got to meet. The way he’d lean forward to engulf her in a hug momentarily warmed her before the iciness of the empty room made her shiver again.

She didn’t dare linger on Bucky, however.

It’s been exactly 3 days and 21 hours since his angel left him and he still couldn’t believe it.

She left him. She left and now she was here in some old factory under some asshole’s mercy. She couldn’t escape the situation she was in no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t give her mind any kind of relief. There was none. Before she realized, her head was falling forward and she was getting a temporary break from reality.

“Bucky, are you o—” Sam cut himself off when his sight landed on his best friend’s face.

Bucky’s eyes were red with yet to be shed tears, again.

His car never reached her grandma’s because his men were murdered on the way. His angel was no where to be found and neither was Bucky’s will to live.

He kept telling himself that it wasn’t true, that she was at work; that she would eventually come back and sleep in his arms again.

However, she didn’t even call. Didn’t even look at his multiple texts. She really was missing and Bucky couldn’t face it. Between denial and heart wrenching pain, he buried himself 9 feet under.

He’s looked everywhere, asked everyone, but still couldn’t find her. It was as if she’s disappeared, turned to air.

Bucky has deserted their bedroom ever since she walked out of the mansion, the bed still as messy as she left it after she dragged the sheets down with her packed bag. Every time Bucky would enter the room he would see her leaving him, so he’d stopped. That couldn’t be his last memory of her. He slept on the couch in his office now, if at all.

And soon enough, the Bucky he used to be when she was around was dead and another angrier, more violent and very impatient Bucky had replaced him. He was always mad, at everyone and everything. And he was drinking every night, sitting on his bar for as long as he could, just to get himself hammered enough to fall in a deep unconsciousness where he didn’t have her scared eyes invading his dreams.

Sam was seriously worried for him, but there was nothing he could do; no advice he could offer. Nothing would bring that Bucky back as long as his angel was gone.

Bucky’s wallowing and Sam’s overthinking were interrupted when Bucky’s phone rang, vibrating on the ceramic floor. Bucky quickly crawled over to it, hardly believing his eyes when he saw her name in the place of the caller ID.

“Angeră?” he answered, his voice hoarse from staying silent for too long.

“Awww, you call her angel?” the voice on the other side mocked.

“Who the fuck is this?” Bucky asked, standing up slowly as his anger and worry forced him to sober up.

“You know too damn well who this is,” Lloyd answered, his smile evident in his tone as he knew he had Bucky by the throat.

“Where is she?” Bucky asked immediately.

“Tied up somewhere cold.”

“I swear on my life, if you touch her—”

“Relax, she can take a few scratches,” he replied, chuckling as if it was a joke.

“You son of a bitch!” Bucky shouted, losing his mind at the mere image of his angel being hurt.

“I’d watch my mouth if I were you, Barnes,” he snarled confidently.

“What do you want?” Bucky asked through his teeth, just wanting to get to his girl as quickly as possible.

“Let me hear her voice.”

“No,” Lloyd chuckled.

“I wanna destroy you.” Hansen laughed.

“Let her go. She has nothing to do with this.” Bucky tried his best not to sound desperate but it was obvious that he was begging for his girl’s safety.

“That’s where you’re wrong, B. She has everything to do with this.” Lloyd walked into the room where she was with a smug smile.

“Let her go.” please

“If you sound so distraught just because I’d hogged her for a couple of days, imagine how you’ll be when I erase her off the face of the earth,” Hansen said, laughing at the thought of hurting Bucky this bad.

Her face toughened up at the realization that it was Bucky on the phone.

“If you do as much as touch a hair on her head, I’m gonna kill you and everyone you know,” Bucky promised, his heart hammering in his chest as he hastily started moving.

“I might’ve broken a bone or two, but that’s only because she was a bad girl.”

“You’re dead, Hansen. Fucking dead!” Bucky promised, throwing the bottle he was drinking from across the room.

“We’ll be waiting with popcorn.” He hung up on Bucky, laughing.

“He’s gonna kill you.” She smiled once he hung up, making Lloyd grab her hair.

She hissed, trying not to show she was in pain.

“Not if I kill him first, angeră.” Lloyd spat, throwing her head forward before leaving the room.

She was horrified at the thought of anything bad happening to Bucky, but she willed her heart to trust in him. She had no time to ponder but she was actually proud of the fact that Bucky could so easily end this awful, evil man and she couldn’t wait for him to do just that.

Still, she waited for him. Something inside of her told her Bucky would never abandon her, not even to death. So she waited. Waited with the longing of all the lovers that ever were until longing had exhausted her.

It was like a slow motion dream. Doors being kicked down, guns being fired and her Bucky entering the room with a man’s body held in his left fist by the neck.

Instead, Bucky found Hansen and smacked him so hard with his metal hand that a tooth flew out. He slapped him again and his nose was bleeding. They made eye contact one more time and she noticed the difference for the first time. That wasn’t Bucky. It wasn’t her Bucky. His eyes still softened for her but the hint of revenge in them was more dominant.

He doesn’t even talk; doesn’t negotiate. He doesn’t even ask for her to be released. He doesn’t need to.

His men were getting everything done. His only mission was to look for her now. His eyes met hers but he didn’t start walking towards her like she’d expected he would.

She thought she would be afraid meeting Bucky again after what she’d witnessed him do, but she actually didn’t. Not even a tiny bit.

She was rather happy, the feeling that she was safe again warming up her body so much that she’d started sobbing.

It was like no matter how long they were away from each other, they were still together, never estranged from one another.

Bucky was on his 40th slap/punch on the man’s bloody face when he noticed her crying. He temporarily threw the man’s tired body on the ground and rushed to his girl.

He kneeled before her shaking body, wanting nothing but to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

And she was.

She looked up and could still see the coldness in his eyes despite hers being blurred by tears.

“I missed you. Is my Bucky okay?” She asked, her voice drained but not scared like Bucky had feared and expected.

“Let’s get you home, angeră,” he replied, saving his answer for now as he noticed the finger marks on her cheek.

She nodded desperately, her tied hand reaching for him despite being behind her back.

“Stop right there,” Lloyd said, crocking his gun at Bucky.

“Bucky,” she whimpered, eyes glued to her man, her anchor.

“E în regulă, angera meu, (it’s okay, my angel)" Bucky replied, getting closer to her and sticking to her side.

“No, it’s not. He’s lying to you. Just like he’s lied to you about everything else,” the man chuckled.

“Shut up,” she whispered, trying to calm down her breathing.

“Give it up, Hansen. I beat you. Again and for the last time. You’re done.” Bucky racked the slide of his gun.

“He never loved you. Do you even know who he is most of the time?” Lloyd continued, not willing to give up until Bucky was reduced to nothing before him.

“Shut up,” she repeated, wishing her hands were free so that she could cover her ears with them.

“Do you have any idea about the other side of this man you gave yourself to you poor little thin—”

“Shut up!” She shouted with all her might, “don’t speak about him like that.”

“Do you even know what you’re defending?” Hansen yelled at her with a crazy, bloody smile on his face.

“I know,” she answered calmly, “I know everything.”

Bucky looked at her in surprise, not believing what he just heard. There was no way she knew. How would she know? How would she choose to stay if she actually knew?

“Oh so you know about frosty over here?” Hansen smirked, pointing to his head.

“That’s enough, Hansen,” Bucky warned, barely controlling himself.

“I do,” she answered once more, her answer shocking Bucky yet again.

“Angel?”

“It’s okay, Bucky. I promise.” She sincerely promised, making it hard for Bucky not to tear up in the middle of the room.

“Aww, how sweet—” Hansen cooed and in a second 3 of Bucky’s bullets were in his head, neck and chest before he could say anything else.

She gasped, closing her eyes and turning her face away from the body as it collapsed on the floor with a thud.

She didn’t notice that Hansen had landed a shot at Bucky before he collapsed and Bucky didn’t even flinch as a bullet literally made it through his right shoulder. He didn’t feel the pain. He didn’t care about anything but his angel.

She was the only thing he could see and hear. Her wounds were his pain more than his own.

Bucky wordlessly kneeled down and untied her quickly. His gaze was glued to her wrists for a second before he rubbed the one that wasn’t swollen with his smoother thumb.

“What happened?” Bucky asked, referring to her other wrist.

“I'm gonna need a doctor to look at it.” Was all she gave him for an answer.

He silently opened his arms for her and she threw herself in them without an ounce of hesitation, crying more now that she was home.

She was so scared she wouldn’t get to feel like this again. She let herself let go. She then closed her eyes and finally succumbed to the cozy darkness now that she was safe.

Instead, Roseanne looked at her with a teary smile, “welcome back, miss.”

She lost all sense of consciousness that she didn’t hear Bucky shoot the man’s dead body a fourth and a fifth time with her in his arms as he took another look at her wrists.

When she opened her eyes again, she was back in Bucky’s bed, but Bucky wasn’t by her side.

“Roseanne, I missed you so much,” she replied, unable to stop her own tears.

“Thank goodness you’re okay,” Roseanne said, breaking the hug to let her rest her back.

She invited Roseanne for a hug with her good arm as she noticed the other was in what looked like a cast.

Lloyd had broken her wrist.

“Mr. Barnes is in his office,” she told her while adjusting the pillow behind her when she noticed her eyes roaming the spacious room.

“Is he mad?” she asked, more tears gathering in her tired eyes.

“At himself, maybe.” Roseanne shrugged politely.

“Please help me go to him, Roseanne.”

“One more thing though.” Roseanne chew on her lip.

“What’s wrong?”

He didn’t know what he would’ve done with himself if something had happened to her and he kept blaming himself as he sat there with his right arm in a sling.

“Mr. Barnes has been shot.”

Bucky didn’t care to look when the door to his office opened, not knowing that she was awake and too busy wiping his tears of regret.

He’s been like this since he got her home and in his bed again. His tears were unstoppable now that he saw the results of his lifestyle on the one girl he chose and held closest to his heart. In fact, he cried more every time he took a look at her angelic figure tiredly sleeping in his large bed as the doctor patched up her broken wrist.

She was so small, so pure and so so good for this world. Her face was fainter and the spark was gone and he was sure Lloyd didn’t feed her. The fading finger marks she had on her cheek, the rope burns around her wrists and ankles and the cast around her forearm slashed new wounds at his heart.

“Bucky,” she called out faintly, her head and body still aching a little, heart dropping when she saw him with his arm hanging, “are you okay?”

He stood up and helped her sit in his chair, not sure if it was okay for him to carry her and sit her on his desk like he usually would.

He hastily wiped his eyes with his hand to look at his baby.

“Hi, angel,” he tried to say with a smile but his voice cracked as another tear escaped down his red cheek.

She surprised him by using his chair as a step to get on top of his desk, pointing to the chair for him to sit back down.

Bucky was on eye level with the marks on her ankles as she settled her bare feet on his lap.

What was he going to say now that she was awake? And most importantly, what was she going to say?

“My Bucky,” she could recognize the difference between this man and the man who started her rescue right away.

Bucky was stunned to see she could see it despite everything. He didn’t want her to ever find out about that side of him and it killed him even more that she caught the difference. How on earth did she find something like this out?

“All yours, angel.” He tried to compose himself, for her.

She couldn’t bare seeing him like this. It was like she’s forgotten about everything that happened before this very moment and all she could do was sit up and hold his face to lovingly wipe his sorrows away with her left hand.

It was enough time away from Bucky.

“I’m okay, Bucky. I’m okay,” she tried to reassure him, only making him cry harder as the dam broke when she rubbed his shoulder.

“Iarta-ma, iubita mea. Te rog. Iarta-ma. (forgive me, my love. Please, forgive me)" He sobbed, moving his lips to the palms of her hands to leave wet kisses all over the reddened skin.

“I’m okay, I swear,” she repeated, not knowing what to do or say.

“I forgive you. Please don’t cry; we’re good,” she said it to him in the kindest tone like it was the easiest thing to say.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you give me the chance to. Please, love,” Bucky cried like a child in her lap.

No, he couldn’t even remember a time when he cried like this as a child despite all that he’d gone through. He didn’t care though. He was going to do whatever it took for his angel’s forgiveness. He disappointed her, broke her heart and risked her life. Bucky was going to beg until the end of time if he could.

Bucky shook his head, crying harder, “no, you’re good. You’re too good to me, angel. Too good. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. Never did.”

It sent a knife to his heart that she still sincerely called him her Bucky after everything she’s been through just because he was in her life; because he was selfish enough to bring her into his without a care.

He was still beating himself up over it. And how could he not when everything terrible that’s ever happened to her had happened because of him? He traumatized her more than anyone ever could have and he’s gotten her hurt time and time again.

This girl who’s made him feel like he could stand against the whole world all by himself with no fear just because she called him her lover. This girl who taught him loyalty, kindness and love and was now teaching him forgiveness. This girl was sitting before him with a broken wrist and heart telling him not to worry about it.

“Don’t say that, please. I’m alive right now thanks to you, my Bucky.” Her own tears rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them.

She loved him more than anything and wished she could make him see that. Oh how she was dying to make him see how safe and loved he made her feel.

“You mean you were taken and hurt thanks to me.” Bucky casted his eyes down, too ashamed to even look at her marked face.

“Bucky—”

“I get it if you still wanna leave me. And I will let you. I would never make you do anything you don't want. I just want you to know that I never lied to you about my love for you. You’ve been and still are the realist thing in my life, angel. Everything I said and did was true. I adore you.”

“Bucky, I—”

“I know it’s selfish to choose to speak about this now, but I’m afraid you’d leave before I get to tell you how in love with you I really am,” he sniffled, wiping his eyes again in vain before looking up at her, “I would die without you. Your love owns me, heart and soul. But.. if leaving me is what you choose.. and if leaving me will make you safe, I will accept it. I just need you to know that I’ve never lied to you. Angel, you are my whole life. You’re my one and only. I belong to you. I’m yours and I will die yours.”

She was speechless, too taken aback to stop herself from crying harder. Bucky’s never opened up to her about his feelings before. Not like this.

“Bucky, I love you,” she managed to whisper before he cut her off again. Before she could tell him that she felt the same way, that she was all his and will forever be his, that only him ruled over her heart.

“You don’t have to say that, angel—”

“Let me speak,” she demanded, her palm cupping his wet cheek as she grabbed him a tissue from his desk.

He nodded, biting his lip and bracing himself for the harshest ‘but’, preparing to get his heart ripped out of his chest.

“I don’t wanna leave you,” was the first thing she could get herself to say, desperately wanting to soothe his thumping heart.

Bucky’s eyes filled with more tears because he knew he didn’t deserve her.

“I forgive you. I want to tolerate this dangerous life because it lets me have you; be with you, which is the only place I ever wanna be.” She took a deep breath, her own tears continuing to fall as she wiped his.

“Baby,” Bucky whispers, hating to see her tears yet again.

“I knew you weren’t the nicest guy to others and I knew your line of business wasn’t the safest either. I just— it freaked me out when I actually got to see you inside of it. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”

Bucky lowered his head in shame again.

“In my head, especially when little, you’re incapable of hurting. In my eyes, you’re safety, Bucky. You’re home.” She brought his eyes back to hers with a hand on his cheek.

“I’m sorry, love,” Bucky was quick to apologize but she shook her head in reply.

“It might take me some time to get used to everything now that I know everything. But it didn’t affect my love for you, Bucky. Not one bit. I lied. I was so scared I would die without getting to tell you that. I still loved you more than ever even in that moment with your fist against another man’s cheek, and I guess that scared me even more. Because it was unlike the me I thought I knew. But this me, right here, is madly in love with you and she doesn’t care about anything other than being by your side for ever.”

“Angel,” Bucky sobbed, holding her hand to his lips, leaving appreciative, wet kisses on her palm, “you won’t regret it, baby, I promise. This is the last time you get hurt. I would die before I let anything like this ever happen to you again.”

“I know, and I trust you, my Bucky. If you’d give me time and if you’ll have me, I wanna be with you every moment of my life, forever.” She couldn’t not throw herself inside his arms, needing the closeness to reassure her this was real.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, holding her on his lap as tight as he possibly could.

“Lucky me,” she whispered in his shoulder.

Bucky felt himself coming alive again at the smell of jasmines in her hair and the feel of her warm body in his hold. She was a piece missing from him and now that she was back, he wasn’t going to waste a second without worshiping the steps she walked.

“I know I might need a while, but that doesn’t change anything. I still love you with my whole heart, Bucky,” she reassured, squeezing him to her even more.

“Take all the time you need, angel. I’ll be right here. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

“Promise me something though.”

“Anything.”

“No more killing people on my behalf.”

“What if they have a gun pointed at you?”

“Okay, only in that case then because it’s self-defense.”

“I promise.” Bucky smiled, sliding her hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead.

She pressed her forehead to his with a smile, “thank you.”

“We’re injury buddies now,” she joked when they pull away making Bucky laugh out loud for the first time in days.

“Does it hurt, angel?”

"Mine doesn't hurt, you?" He kissed her covered wrist gently.

"Does it hurt?"

They both asked at the same time, making each other laugh.

“Not as much anymore,” she replies, not wanting to remember how much it hurt when she was tied up in the cold room.

“Let’s eat so you could take your pain meds.” Bucky offered her his metal hand and she took it with her good one with a content smile.

Everything was going to be okay again. She knew it. Her hand was back in Bucky's and there was nothing their love wouldn't be able to pass. This might not be the Bucky she got in a relationship with, but it was the Bucky she wanted and was going to continue it with.

He was still and was always going to be her bucky.

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myfictionaldreams · 11 months

Note

Hey, can you do something with where the reader is pregnant in mafia stucky and Bucky and Steve are super protective about her?

Xoxo

Our Little Bean // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader

A/N: Thank you for your request, this has been requested quite a few times by many people so I hope you do enjoy!

Important note for readers: I'm currently working within maternity services within the UK so the pregnancy side of this is all based on a UK perspective but it's set in the US so apologies if anything is different over there. Also, the signs and symptoms are based on my bestie's pregnancy so thank you for letting me use these!

ALSO: I'm sorry if I don't do any more pregnancy/baby fics, I wanted to just do this one and return to the normal trio we had before.

Tags: 18+ readers only, unplanned pregnancy, fluff (LOTS!), comfort, soft steve/bucky, protectiveness, pregnancy kink, pet names, pregnancy symptoms discussed in detail, crying, family/domestic fluff, tooth-rotting goodness!

Words: 6.9k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

Your nausea never seemed to settle, barely being able to keep down dry toast or sips of water and then there was the immense exhaustion, finding yourself to be lucky if you were awake for an hour before falling asleep again. This, paired with the dizzy spells and dull aches in your temples, it was safe to say that you were done with feeling unwell and you definitely blamed Sam Wilson for this. He’d turned up to work last week feeling unwell, slightly different symptoms to yours as he had a head cold but ill nonetheless and now, here you were, collapsed onto the couch in the living room, under a mount of blankets.

It wasn’t all bad however as Bucky had stayed home to look after you and he was doing a good job of it too, but he and Steve were always extra attentive when you were unwell and had been taking it in turns to stay home, with Steve having stayed with you yesterday.

Bucky today had helped you wash, changed into fresh pyjamas and then carried downstairs, tucking you into your little fort before sitting on the floor and reading the book you were halfway through reading. You were too tired to read and didn’t want to keep your eyes open so Bucky offered, which was hilarious to hear him trying to read along and then asking questions as to the type of books you’ve been reading.

“So who is this Rhysand guy? Just some hotshot king or something?” he asked, lowering the book to look at your resting face. You smiled tiredly at his question, opening one eye to look into his confused expression, he was already invested in your book, even though he had started more than halfway through.

“Something like that”, you replied, voice croaking from needing water which he was quick to notice, lifting the glass with the straw to your mouth and you hummed your thanks, taking a sip and closing your eye once more.

You fell back to sleep again and woke to be carried, noticing that it was dark outside with another day passing as Steve carried you up the stairs, having returned home from work. Your arms were trapped into the blanket cocooned you were being carried in so you nuzzled your face into his neck to let him know you were awake.

Steve tilted his head, kissing the top of yours as he placed you into the centre of your shared bed, “think you’re up for eating some chicken noodle soup?”

“Did you make it?”, your voice was full of hope as you blinked open your eyes to look up at him but made no attempt to move just yet.

“Of course, only the best for you”. Steve left to retrieve your soup, giving you time for another quick snooze, before he was back and shaking your shoulders. With his help, you untangled yourself from the soft blankets and attempted to sit up but were hit with a wave of dizziness, having to stop and close your eyes to get your bearings straight before it subsided and you could sit up properly. Steve was looking at you with a knowing glance as he sat on the edge of the bed, a warm noodle soup bowl in his lap that he began to spoon-feed you - something he insisted on. “You know I’m going to call the doctor, right?”

You release a frustrated huff, you didn’t need the doctor, “It’s fine though, it’ll pass. Sam said it took him 4 days before he started to feel better and I’m only on day 3”.

“Baby, you’re on day 4 and you said this all yesterday and it’s only getting worse”, he stated everything matter-of-factly but you were still shocked that you’d somehow missed an entire day. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to see a doctor and there was no use arguing with Steve when it came to your health.

So after you’d finished half a bowl of the soup before feeling queasy, Steve excused himself to call his doctor who just so happened to be a close family friend. Of course, you had fallen asleep before the Doctor arrived and being rudely awakened made you feel even more groggy and unwell as Steve whispered, “Sorry honey, but Doctor Banner’s here to check you over”.

Steve excused himself so the Doctor could check you over properly without feeling pressured by the mafia boss in the room. Doctor Banner put you at ease though with his warming personality and you’d met him on a few occasions anyway when Steve or Bucky were more injured through an event with work, but you’d never had him look after you before.

The two of you ran through the general list, ‘When did you start feeling like this?’, ‘What are your symptoms?’, before he began doing your vital signs, temperature and blood pressure, all just normal procedures.

“Could you be pregnant?” he casually asked as he velcroed the blood pressure cuff from your arm.

Frowning you answered, “Um no…no, I’m on birth control, so I shouldn’t be”.

“Do you mind if we do a quick test just to tick it off of the list? All you need to do is pee in this cup and I’ll dip a test strip into it”.

You wobbled to the toilet on unsteady feet, realising this is probably the first time you’d properly walked in days because the boys insisted on carrying you everywhere. As you used the toilet, you didn’t think anything of the test, leaving the cup on the side for the doctor and returning back to bed, wondering if he’s going to give you some antibiotics or just see how you get on over the next few days.

After a few minutes, your eyes were closed but you could hear the Doctor returning so you asked, “So, do you think it’s just the flu like I said-”

“It’s not the flu, your test was positive”.

Your eyes snap open to look at him, sitting up and feeling dizzy but ignoring it, “what? What do you mean it’s positive?”

Doctor Bruce held up the little white strip that had two purple lines on it. You looked between the test and his face as he calmly smiled, “You’re pregnant”.

“What if the test is wrong? Can we do it again?” Thankfully he didn’t fight you on this and gave you the packet of tests, you grabbed two and stumbled back to the bathroom. Both strips gave the exact result and now it felt like your heart was coming out of your mouth it was pounding so hard and loudly in your ears.

“Take a deep breath for me”, Doctor Banner calmly instructed as he placed a steady hand on your back in case you needed extra support. You took a few deep breaths, not even realising that you had been holding your breath. Gripping onto the bathroom side, you began to feel dizzy again so he helped you back to bed waiting until you were settled before continuing.

“This explains your symptoms, I’d say you were in your early stages of pregnancy so we’ll book an appointment with the midwife tomorrow and sort out things like a scan. You may feel that your symptoms get worse over the next few weeks and if they do, you can always call me back but otherwise, stay rested and take it easy”.

You were only half listening. Midwife? Scans? Symptoms getting worse? There was so much for your brain to process. There was an actual baby inside of your body right now, a part of you and… who? Your anxiety was increasing with each second as you tried to let the words sink in as the Doctor packed his stuff away. Did you want to have a baby right now? You had always wanted kids but were you even ready at this stage of your life but then again… was anyone ready for a baby when they were accidentally knocked up?

Then the knocked-up by who question echoed through your thoughts. You obviously didn’t know if the baby was Steve's or Bucky’s, so would they be upset about this? If it was planned at least there could be some way you could arrange who to have sex with to know for sure but now… you were all in the dark about the paternity. You didn’t care if it was Steve or Bucky, you were always a trio in every sense of the word but now that this was your reality, would they be pissed off? And were they even ready for kids? The business took so much of their time and was still very dangerous but this was bound to happen eventually as you all wanted children.

Bucky and Steve had always been very open that they wanted kids, especially Bucky with his affection name for you being ‘mama’, he often would talk about his fantasy of seeing you barefoot and pregnant with his kid. So, at least you knew they were on the same page about wanting to have children but now it was the stress of is now the right time and who was the father of the baby?

You were vaguely aware of the Doctor bidding his farewells, “I’ll speak to you tomorrow and I’ll let you tell your partners the good news”. You offered a half-assed wave to him as he left, before staring at your hands in your lap, completely petrified for the next few minutes.

Steve and Bucky wandered in a few beats later, sitting on either side of you on the bed but you couldn’t look them in the eye, trying desperately to hold it together.

“Everything ok, Doll? The Doc didn’t tell us what was wrong, just said you would explain”, Bucky asked, stroking a finger down your arm to try and soothe you but it was enough to make you break.

You burst into tears, hiding your face in your hands.

“Honey? What is it? Talk to us”, Steve encouraged, attempting to pull your hands away from your face but you held them there tightly so instead, he pulled your body into his lap, your legs over his thighs so that you could hide your face into his chest, the sobs building in intensity and everything was just so overwhelming. You were excited, scared, relieved but nervous, it was a lot to handle.

Steve and Bucky encouraged you to talk to them both, becoming more unsettled with your increasing hysterics. It took a few minutes to calm down, and it helped as Bucky held both your hands, rubbing circles into your skin and Steve wrapped his arms around your shoulders, holding you close to his body. You decided it was better to just tell them than keep it to yourself any longer.

With your face still pressed into Steve’s face, you whispered “I’m pregnant”, however, it was so muffled and quiet that neither man heard you.

“What was that sweetheart?”, Steve asked, trying to pull you away enough that both men could see your tear-stained face.

The words sounded strange coming from your mouth as you kept your head hanging lowly, mumbling, “I’m pregnant”.

You knew that they had heard this time by the way both completely froze, not even breathing as they processed the news. Bucky finally whispered, “What?”

You still couldn’t look at him, scared you’d see disappointment or anger in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked in such a faint voice you were shocked it was even from him.

Nodding your head at his question you explained, “We checked a couple of times, he thinks I’m still in my early pregnancy but-ah!”

You jumped as Bucky all but tackled you and Steve, his lips kissing every part of your face that he could reach and when he pulled back enough to cup your cheeks, you took in the glowing grin on his face, his eyes twinkling with love as he shouted, “you’re pregnant! We’re having a baby!”

Steve then seemed to snap out of his initial shock and his arms tightened and lifted your body further up so he could kiss your face just as happily as Bucky before nuzzling into your neck, breathing you in, “I love you so much sweetheart, I can’t believe it! Wait, why were you crying, are you not excited?”

He relaxed his hold on you so that they could both see you properly and you had room to look at them both. “I... I am excited! I just wasn’t sure how you would both react as I don’t know which of you is the dad-”

Bucky leans across and kisses your lips quickly cutting off your sentence, the grin still broad across his face, “I don’t fucking care, if the baby has my genes or Steve’s, we’re all in this together, remember? That’s what we’ve agreed on”.

“So you aren’t upset?” you wanted to clarify.

“Fuck no hot mama… and you’re actually going to be a mama! This little bean is ours, all of ours!”

You were crying again with relief, “you really mean that?”

His eyes softened, kissing the corner of your mouth, “Of course I do”.

“We both mean it, I… I can’t believe it, I’ve always wanted to be a Dad”, Steve admitted, kissing your temple and as you looked up, you could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears which only made you smile and cry harder.

Steve made the move first, lowering his hand over your abdomen, resting over your stomach where there was no bump yet but knowing there was something growing inside you, he couldn’t help the relieved gasp. Bucky was quick to cover his hand and yours on the top so the three of you were feeling where the baby would be. “I can’t believe we’re going to be parents!”

The next few days were a whirlwind of excitement and unimaginable joy whilst also still feeling relatively unwell, especially feeling more exhausted as you wanted to buy every pregnancy book and read them all but soon fell asleep with it open in your lap.

Then there was Steve and Bucky who could not contain their excitement, going above and beyond for you, especially with you still feeling ill. They would cook and feed you, if you were too tired, refill your glasses of water, constantly ask if you were comfortable and more than happy to fetch another pillow if needed. Not only this, but their levels of affection had increased massively, whispering their love for you at any opportunity, holding your hands, and lots of kisses, it was so nice to feel this level of love when going through such a life-changing experience.

Both of them had been just as motivated to read about pregnancy, birth, babies, and the whole lot from A to Z, they researched everything that was possible and then gave you the rundown on what your bodily changes would be including what you couldn’t eat, vowing to not eat the same items until you could which you didn’t seem necessary but appreciated the gesture.

Then there was the excitement of going to the Midwife’s appointment and it all became so much more real again, especially being able to book the ultrasound scan. This was where you found out that you were 8 weeks and 3 days and the entire world seemed to pause around the three of you as you watched your baby's tiny heartbeat on the screen.

To say you all cried was an understatement, all of you not taking your eyes off of the scan picture that was provided, the little bean was so tiny, only just being able to tell the outline of its arms and legs. Now it felt official. You, Steve and Bucky were going to have a baby.

Many things changed including protection that increased tenfold. Security around your home doubled and you had not only Sam Wilson as your bodyguard but also Natasha. Not only this but if you attending the business or in public, Steve and Bucky would crowd around you, almost like a human shield, their overprotective instincts on overdrive, even from people who were just at the check-outs in stores. Sam and Natasha were confused by the sudden dynamic intensity and it was hard to keep it all a secret but you had all decided to wait just a little while longer and continue with your unknown illness excuse just until the baby had grown a little bit bigger.

This was something else that you had to get used to with adjusting to the many bodily changes you were going through to adapt to growing this baby. A few days following the scan, you’d come downstairs to Steve cooking you scrambled eggs which were your usual favourite breakfast but as soon as you smelt those cooking eggs, you were gagging and rushing to the toilet, throwing up violently.

Your eyes were watering as you finally stopped emptying your stomach but still gagging as you could smell the lingering eggs in the air. A warm hand rubbed circles over your back, Steve’s apologetic voice came from behind you, “Sorry, baby. No more eggs”.

This was the first instance of vomiting and it wasn’t just eggs, as every single day you would be throwing up and then feeling extremely tired afterwards that you weren’t able to do much throughout the day but be with your head in the toilet or lying in bed. The boys were almost glued to your side during this time, worried that you weren’t keeping enough food or drinks down and even had to call Doctor Banner back just to check you weren’t too dehydrated.

Thankfully you hadn’t needed to go into hospital as your vomiting subsided but the nausea remained for a while.

“You sure she’s ok? She’s looking a little peaky,” Sam commented to Steve one day as he came to help guard the house and was having his lunch with you all but he took one look at you and knew something wasn’t right, even as you forced the sandwich into your mouth, making sure to still eat for you and baby… not that Sam knew about the baby.

“Yeah, she’s fine Sam, thanks for checking though and we appreciate the extra hours you’re doing”, Steve responded with a thankful grip on his friend's shoulder.

“It’s no problem man, just worried for her that’s all, don’t really understand what’s going on with you all, especially with the extra security and whatnot and I feel like I’ve hardly spoken to her for a few weeks now. Just want you to know I’m always here if you ever need anything”.

You felt guilty when Steve later told you what Sam had said, feeling bad that you were keeping it secret but it was only for a few more weeks.

Luckily, you had found the special trick to help your nausea as suggested by a friend: lavender! After sitting with a bag of dried lavender for a couple of hours and not feeling nauseous, Steve and Bucky were quick to fill the entire house with lavender-scented items including candles and sprays, even having some in the car and it helped to settle your nausea massively.

But, as soon as one symptom passed, another would be replacing the uncomfortable feeling. The next was your breasts becoming incredibly painful and sore, even if you accidentally knocked them when putting on a bra or rolling over in your sleep, it was agony. Your boyfriends were even more careful with you during this phase, getting ice to hold against them during particularly painful moments and being careful to give you enough room when asleep.

A couple of weeks later was the first day you noticed the little bean kicking, at first it felt like maybe gas, almost like there were butterflies fluttering in your tummy but then you finally realised what it was. The feeling grew stronger with each day as well as the size of your growing stomach which was something Steve and Bucky were going absolutely feral for. They would take pictures each week to show your progression and would constantly be placing their hands on your stomach, even if the bump wasn’t that noticeable just yet.

The midwife recommended talking to the baby at one point so every night, you would sit with a shirt off and Steve and Bucky would lie on either side of you, taking it in turns to tell stories, sing their favourite songs and lay sweet kisses along the growing bump. One day, Bucky was telling the little bean about the time he and Steve snuck into a movie theatre when the skin under his cheek poked out as the baby kicked him in the face. Bucky sat up with excitement, it being the first time he had properly felt the baby move as he cooed, “there's our strong baby, good job little bean!”

“You hit the right dad as well”, Steve joked causing Bucky to smack him in the shoulder.

“Don’t listen to Dad, listen to Pops, I’m right here to make everything’s ok”, Bucky continued to speak sweetly to your stomach.

Your heart swelled at the difference in names that he had seemed to pick, “is that what you’d like to be called?” you asked them both, stroking a finger across each of their cheeks, feeling the stubble beneath.

“It’s perfect”, Steve beamed, kissing your stomach again.

Now it was your 20-week scan, Baby was so much bigger, you couldn’t believe the difference those weeks had made since the last scan. Now it was really starting to look like a baby with longer limbs and you were even able to find out the gender, however, you had wanted to wait to find out, liking the thought of it being announced at the birth.

With these beautiful new prints of the scans, you finally wanted to tell people, beginning with your closest friends.

It was a casual lunchtime meal at the office. You sat at the large table in between Steve and Bucky, with Sam and Natasha sitting opposite, all idly talking and eating the take-out that Steve had bought. However you had opted for a different meal: 4 packs of salt and vinegar chips and a tub of tomatoes - both were your latest cravings.

Sam eyed your food wearily, “Interesting mix you’ve got there, boss lady?”

Your only response was smiling with your cheeks full of tomatoes as Bucky placed his hand over your thigh. You knew he wanted to put his hand on your stomach but you hadn’t told either of the people across the table just yet and even though your bump was starting to become noticeable now, you were trying to hide it behind baggy shirts but even that was becoming difficult. You were in desperate need of some new trousers as well as the button was digging into your skin as you shifted uncomfortably, looking at each of your boys, feeling antsy with excitement as well.

“Can we tell them? I really need to take off my trousers, I’m feeling really claustrophobic”.

Sam frowned at your random sentence, confused by what you meant however it was Natasha’s reaction that sparked your interest as she smirked, leaning back in her chair with a tilt of the head. You looked at her with a gaped-open mouth, pointing your finger at her, “You already know! Who told her?” you asked, looking between Bucky and Steve.

“Wasn’t me”, they both responded at the same time, holding up their hands as you eyed them both suspiciously.

Natasha leaned forward in her chair, “did you really think that I wouldn’t notice? I’m offended Sugar, it’s in my job description to be observant. In fact, you should be asking if Sam is right to keep this job if he can’t notice something this obvious”, she teased the man sitting next to her who still looked just as confused as before.

You laugh at Sam’s reaction, looking to Steve who handed you the sealed cards. You happily took them, standing from your chair and feeling Bucky’s hand on your lower back to help and then walked around the table, giving them both a card each. It wasn’t anything special or elaborate, but it had a picture of the latest scan with the statement: “Update to your job title; bodyguard & uncle/auntie”.

You’d never heard the high-pitched tone from Sam ever before as he quickly stood, his chair squeaking across the floor as he shouted, “What?!” He turned to you, looking between you, the picture and Steve and Bucky, “Really?!”

You pulled the back of your shirt so the material was tight to your front, showing off your growing bump, grinning as he shouted “Congratulations!”, before pulling you into a huge hug, careful of your belly but rocking the two of you on the spot a few times and kissing your temple, “I can’t believe I’m going to be an uncle again!”

Sam was then pushed aside, giving room for Natasha, “Move it, Wilson, I want to meet my niece or nephew”, Sam didn’t mind being moved as he rushed around to embrace Steve and Bucky.

Natasha hugged you tightly, and you were able to ask, “How long have you known?”

“A couple of weeks, you aren’t as subtle as you think at hiding things. I mean, you’ve hardly been awake enough to have a conversation, this is the most lively I’ve seen you in nearly a month. And that's without the new obsessive protecting from Steve and Bucky, how they’re always touching you and the weird food you’re eating, it’s more noticeable than you think it is”. She pulls back to put her hands on your growing bump, “how many weeks are you?”

“20 weeks and 5 days, I can feel the little bean moving more with each day, I feel so big already and I’m not even showing that much considering I’m only halfway through my pregnancy”. Natasha grinned hearing this, looking at your little bump. “Now you both know, I can take off my pants without being judged”, you groaned as you undid your jeans button, utter relief when they were completely removed from your body and felt free, your shirt was long enough that it stopped mid-thigh so you weren’t too unmodest.

Bucky had snuck behind you, his arms wrapping around to rest on your stomach as he kissed your cheek. Natasha smiled watching the embrace as she remarked, “Guess you got what you wanted all along Barnes, now you can call her mama and she actually is one”.

“Mmm absolutely”, Bucky nuzzled into your neck, the sensation making you laugh as it tickled, turning to shy away from his attack but he only held you tighter until you melted into his arms.

Steve and Sam joined your little gathering and Sam jokingly asked, “So if the baby’s a boy, can we name him Sam?”

You were so thankful for the news being out, especially as this meant that you could go baby clothes shopping with Sam and Natasha, finding little outfits that you could surprise your boyfriends with. It was one of the only things you were able to do for them to show your appreciation as they did so much for you throughout your pregnancy.

Your cravings continued to become stronger with each day and often found yourself waking in the middle of the night to find something to quench the craving for something acidic and sour taste you needed so desperately it felt like your world was going to end if you didn’t eat it right then and there. On multiple occasions, Steve or Bucky would come downstairs in the early hours of the morning to find you sitting on the kitchen floor, your belly round and exposed, hating feeling material against your skin, and a scattering of different foods surrounding you, a happy smile on your face.

“You ok down there beautiful?” they would ask with grins that matched yours and with your heightened emotions you would be crying before long, reaching for them to come and sit with you which they would do eagerly, pulling your body in between there legs and kissing away your tears, “don’t cry pretty girl, I’ve got you”.

If you ever run out of your favourite cravings, they would drive to the store and you were buzzing to go along for the ride in the middle of the night, fully awake and ready for the night time adventure only to fall asleep before getting to the store.

Entering into the third trimester, your belly was round and heavy, things for sure were becoming more difficult for you as the little bean grew. There were small excitements still like attending antenatal classes with your boyfriends who were taking their role as dad and pops very seriously, you’d never seen them concentrate so hard before.

“You’re doing the boss face again”, you whispered to Steve as he correctly wrapped the baby doll in a blanket. Steve's features softened immediately as he sheepishly looked at you from the corner of his eye.

“I’m just trying to concentrate”, he mumbled, eyes returning to looking at the doll, his fingers trembling slightly as he continued wrapping steadily.

Reaching across you grabbed his hands, keeping your voice low to keep the conversation between the two of you, “I’m scared too, but you’re going to be a great dad, Steve, you’ll be ok”.

This was a little pep talk you needed to have with both Bucky and Steve on numerous occasions as they began panicking that this was actually happening and whilst you reminded them there was nothing they could do to take back the growing baby in your belly, it was ok to have nerves, but everything would come to them with time, they needed to stay strong, especially as you were also sort of beginning to lose it.

Your body was really changing to accommodate the growing little bean. Your hands and feet were swollen until your shoes couldn’t fit anymore and god…the heartburn was excruciating, and nearly as painful as the kicks to the ribs. There was never a moment where you weren’t out of breath, even standing to pour cereal into a bowl took all of your energy and you’d be sighing in relief as you sat down. Your hips hurt, your back was in agony, and the pregnancy fun had well and truly finished.

This was where the boys really shined through as they would massage your hands and feet, they would be more then happy to cook or grab anything for you, picking things off of the ground, finding clothes that might fit and then there were their compliments which was one thing keeping you going.

Steve and Bucky could not get enough of seeing you pregnant, “you’re glowing honey, pregnancy suits you so much, my love”. You never felt like you were glowing and would describe yourself instead as a huge, hungry, tired monster but the way the boys looked at you, put those negative thoughts to the back of your mind.

From the moment you woke up to the second sleep would invade your consciousness, they would remind you of their love, needing you to fully comprehend how much they appreciated you growing their baby, you were doing so much for them, putting your body through it, for all of you, for the little bean.

Their words definitely helped when you began to feel needier in more than one way as your hormones caused your arousal to be one-minute non-existence and the next feeling nearly overwhelmed with how badly you needed to touch them and be touched. Thankfully with how obsessed they were with you during your pregnancy, they were more than happy to deliver. Hands would be all over, their lips leaving words of affirmation against your warm skin, being careful not to be to rough and more than happy if you wanted to take control and do whatever you wanted to them.

You had to be honest and say you never felt more loved up before. Even with the gang still in full operation, they were able to look after you as their number one priority, even through your emotional breakdowns, or weird pregnancy habits that had you thinking you were slightly insane but they never judged once.

For example, towards the end of your pregnancy, you had a completely immense craving to chew on your bath sponge every time you sat in the large bathtub. So when one day Steve walked in with a freshly warmed-up towel and caught you mid-chew with staring eyes, you expected his reaction to being anything but a soft smile, “You having fun in there, baby?”

Pulling the sponge out of your mouth slowly you nervously answered, “I uh… I don’t really know how to explain…”

Steve held up a hand, “You don’t have to explain anything, whatever makes you happy and I think I’ve read in a book that sometimes pregnant women can have cravings like this, whatever makes you happy”.

As your due date closened, you sat in the centre of the large bed, watching Bucky shuffle his way through your clothes, trying to find the right things to pack for your hospital bag. “What about this?” he asked, holding up a pair of your normal jeans.

“They haven’t fit me in four months, Bucky”, you laughed, shaking your head. “I need pyjamas or baggy shirts, things that can be easily taken on and off, maybe you should just leave Steve to do it”, you suggested whilst holding out your arms.

Bucky shrugged, dropping the jeans and jumping onto the bed, making you squeal with the bed moving up and down before he had his hands against your bump, kissing the tip of your nose. “Not long until we meet you little bean”, he was rewarded with a kick against his metal palm that had you wincing. “Hello baby, I love feeling you kick so much but be gentle to Mama she’s doing such a good job with keeping you safe”, he leaned down to kiss your belly as your fingers delved into his hair.

“It’s ready!”, Steve shouted from another room, catching both of your attention. Bucky jumped up first and then helped you to stand, keeping his hand on your lower back as you wobbled to the spare room that Steve and Bucky had been decorating as the nursery. It was something you had left them in charge of organising, not having the energy over the last nine months to even think about decorating and Steve and Bucky were more than excited to take on the job and so far had kept it secret from your prying eyes.

As you looked around the room, tears swelled in your eyes instantly, reaching to hold onto Steve and Bucky, praising, “It’s perfect!”. There was a beautiful baby cot, pictures of the three of you surrounding the ultrasound scan photograph on the wall, a painting you knew Steve had done, and a rocking chair in the corner that Bucky had claimed as his for the night feeds he’d volunteered himself for.

Now it was all just a waiting game.

“You’re doing it again”, Bucky commented from where he stood in the entryway to your home having returned from the office a few days later.

“No, I’m not, I’m just cleaning-”.

“Nesting… You’re nesting, Doll”, Bucky reminded you, taking away the cloth from your hands and throwing it to the side so he could hold your shoulders and kiss your temple. “Go and rest, you’ve only got a few days left!”

You roll your eyes as you leaned into his warmth, your bump touching him first as you hugged around his chest, “Bucky most babies aren’t born on their due dates you know, I just want to make sure everything is perfect around the house and ready”.

“Everything IS perfect, please just rest”. You relented to him, feeling tired already from the ten minutes of standing, moving to sit on the couch when a period cramp suddenly began in your lower abdomen, causing you to scrunch your face up in pain, especially as it was followed by a large kick to the ribs.

“Woah, are you ok?” Bucky asked, his hand cupping your cheek.

“Yeah, probably Braxton hicks or something, it’s fine”, you say, finally sitting down and putting your feet on the small table. Bucky didn’t seem convinced and continued to be a mother hen throughout the rest of the night, even though the pains subsided after you had a nice warm bath.

As your due date came and went, you were becoming restless, needing the baby out, feeling overwhelmed with how big you felt, wanting to meet the baby and hating waiting around. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried everything either. Eating spicy foods, and going for walks, especially up and down the stairs which was incredibly uncomfortable with how low the little bean’s head was sitting in your pelvis. You’d even had sex a few times, Bucky was more than happy to hear that nipple stimulation could induce labour but still, nothing happened.

Those period cramps would come and go throughout these days as well, getting your hopes up before they disappeared and still, no signs that your labour was even happening.

On the fourth day following your due date, you awoke suddenly in the middle of the night to another period cramp that started in your lower back and spread around to your front. Even though this felt different, you didn’t want to wake the boys and get theirs or your hopes up as you tried to slide out of bed without waking them to use the bathroom for what felt like the tenth time that night.

“You ok, baby?” Steve asked, his eyes still closed but his hand reached for you in the darkness.

“Yeah I’m, ok, go back to sleep Steve”, you encouraged, touching the back of his hand before pushing yourself up and waddling to the toilet, using it and then realising just how wide awake you were and the dull ache of the pains still lingered so you decided to run a warm bath. During the time that it was filling up, you had another pain which took longer to subside but this was always how it started with the intensity increasing but after the bath, it usually stopped.

However, even as you let the warm water settle over your body, easing your muscles but the pains continued but at least the little bean was lovely and happy as he or she gave you a powerful kick to your ribs. The next pain had you gritting your teeth, eyes clenching closed as you held onto the side of the tub, waiting for it to pass but this pain lasted for nearly a full minute, and you decided maybe it was time to take some pain relief.

Standing and awkwardly climbing out of the bath, you dried your body and picked up your night dress to pull over your head when another pain came and took your breath away, your stomach hardening and causing you to moan lowly, bending over to blow the pain away.

“Honey?” Steve shouted from the bathroom having heard your moan as he waited for you to come back to bed. You couldn’t answer him as the pain consumed you, and he was rushing to be by your side, Bucky following closely behind him. Steve rubbed your back slowly as your pain finally began to ease so that you could look up at them both.

“Wow, that one was strong”.

“You ok? Can we get you anything?” Bucky asked, stepping forward with worry etched on his face.

“I’m ok.... I think… I don’t want to get my hopes up that this isn’t contractions but fuck, it hurt like hell”, you muttered, bending over to pick up your dress from the floor and then a trickle of clear liquid dripped down the inside of your leg. All three of you noticed as you tentatively looked up, “Is it bad that I can’t tell if I’ve just wet myself or if that’s my waters…”.

Neither of your worried boyfriends had time to answer as another painful wave came and had you doubling over, leaning your head against the sink. Steve was quick to grab you and let you lean against his strong body, remembering what he had learned from the antenatal appointments to help you through the pains, “That’s it baby, breath in and out, nice and slow”. It helped to listen and ground yourself through the pain as Bucky’s cold metal hand rubbed against your lower back, helping to ease the intense pressure from the baby.

The pain lasted for the same amount of time as the previous one and the clear liquid, which was definitely not urine, had gushed out more, forming a small puddle onto the floor. “Ok, I think it’s time we call someone”, you decided.

Bucky kissed the back of your head as he ran to get the phone and Steve helped you to pull your shirt on, his thumb brushing your chin as he sensed your anxieties, “You’re going to do amazing my love, we’ll be with you every step of the way”.

#mafia au #mafia steve rogers #mafia bucky barnes #mafia bucky #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky one shot #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers one shot #bucky fluff #steve rogers fluff #stucky one shot #stucky x reader #stucky fluff #mine*#stucky

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bossbtch1 · 5 months

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Against All Odds part 3 (Final)

Summary : Bucky's betrayal left you deeply wounded, you sought revenge to make him feel the pain he caused. Following your act of retaliation, you distanced yourself from him despite his numerous attempts to apologize. Instead, you found comfort in Sam, and Bucky couldn't ignore the growing closeness, leaving him seething with jealousy.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (No mentions of body type or ethnicity other than the reader being female)

General tags : Smut and Groveling

TW: NSFW, 18+, Strong language, Hurt, Comfort, Groveling, Jealous!Bucky, Unprotected Sex, P in V, Hair pulling, Light Spanking, Breeding kink, Overstimulation

Word Count: 14,5k (So yeah... I'm sorry it has to be this long)

A/N : We've reached the end of the story, and I appreciate your enthusiasm and support for this chapter. Apologies if it turned out to be a lengthy fic; I contemplated splitting it into two chapters but couldn't bring myself to do that to you all.

P.S. I'm trying something new with hyperlinks to provide visualizations for certain scenes. I initially wanted to include them for the smut as well, but it didn't align with Tumblr guidelines, so I kept it PG. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy the finale!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

A week after that when you were running in the treadmill, you saw Bucky trying to approach you. You ignored him and ran faster. "Y/N... Y/N, please! Let me apologize." Bucky's voice could be heard, but it was drowned out by the music in your ears.

You just kept running. You knew Bucky was trying to apologize. "Can't hear you, music too loud!" You yelled.

He didn't give up and said, "Please just give me 5 minutes.”

"I'm busy.”

"Just five minutes. That's all I ask for."

"No." You pressed a button, and the speed of the treadmill increased. You kept running.

He tried one last time, "Please. Just five minutes."

You ignored him. He got the message.

He stood there, watching you run. You were not paying any attention to him, or even acknowledging his presence. The look on his face was pure sadness. He was not going to give up though. Bucky waited until you finished your run, and then asked, "Hey…”

You ignored him and went out. He followed you.

"Y/N. Wait." He said chasing you before you got into the shower, "Doll. I'm sorry. I fucked up big time. I really am. I was stupid. I wasn't thinking."

You didn’t care, you ignored him and went to the shower, hoping he would leave after you taking a shower, but of course he was waiting for you.

When you got out, he was sitting on the couch. You went out there with nothing but a towel on. "Y/N what are you doing? You're going to get cold." He said.

You rolled your eyes, "What do you think I'm doing, Barnes? I just took a shower. Is there a problem with that?"

He shook his head. "No, but you shouldn't be wearing a towel. You should be dressed. You're going catch a cold." He then averted his eyes from your body and stared at the floor.

"I thought you said I looked good without clothes, Barnes." You smirked. "Is there something wrong?"

He shook his head. "Y/N, put some clothes on."

You then walked toward him and sat on his lap, "Y/N what-"

You cut him off by kissing him passionately. His eyes widened in shock, and then closed as he kissed you back. He was confused as you broke the kiss. You then dropped the towel, exposing your naked body to him. He stared at your breast for a second, before looking into your eyes.

"Y/N," he began to speak but stopped. He was stunned, "Y/N what are you doing right now? Why did you take the towel off?"

"Don't you like me naked? Do you not find me attractive, Bucky?" You asked him with a pouty lip.

"Yes. You're very attractive. Of course. But... We shouldn't."

"Why not? We had sex before, why not now?"

"Because... That was before. But now you are angry at me. I'm not going to do that again. I won't take advantage of you. It's not right."

"Don't worry about it Bucky." You got closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Come on Bucky. I want you. Don't you want me?” You said, moving closer until your lips were inches apart.

He swallowed hard, staring into your eyes. "You're not in your right mind. You're not thinking straight.” He could feel himself getting hard. His resolve was breaking. "Doll, please. You know I want you, but I need to know that are we good? I can't have you and leave. It would kill me."

You smirked at him, "We are good." You said seductively, "For now." You whispered, biting his earlobe gently.

He groaned as his cock hardened at your words. "Doll…” He swallowed hard, looking into your eyes.

"Are you going to give me what I want?" You asked.

"If... If that's what you want. Then, yes."

"Then prove it to me. Kiss me."

He hesitated, but leaned forward and kissed you. His lips were soft and warm. You deepened the kiss, moaning softly as you felt his tongue slip between your parted lips. Your hands moved to his shirt, pulling it off. You threw his shirt on the floor and your hands found their way to his belt. You undid his pants and pulled them down, letting his dick spring out.

You reached for his cock and stroked him slowly. He moaned, bucking his hips forward. "Fuck, doll." He breathed.

"You like that, Buck?" You asked.

He nodded. "Yes, so much."

You then positioned yourself above his cock. "You want this?" You teased him, rubbing his cock against your entrance.

"Fuck, doll." He groaned. "I want this."

You smirked. You then sink down on him slowly, taking in every inch of him. He grunted, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "Oh fuck. That's it. Fuck. You feel so good, doll."

You rode him, grinding your hips. "Oh, god." You moaned. He started to thrust into you, groaning. You rode him, picking up the pace. You started riding him as fast as you could. He grunted, his grip on your hips tightening. He started thrusting in and out of you, faster and harder. You were also meeting his thrusts, moaning and whimpering. You pulled his hair, making him moan loudly.

He hit your sweet spot and you were screaming his name. He kept hitting your g-spot. You were getting close. He kept thrusting, faster and harder.

"Fuck, doll. You're so fucking tight. I love how your pussy clenches around me. You're so hot." He pulled your head toward him to kissed you but you denied his lips. You threw your head back, moaning loudly.

"Oh, fuck! Yes! Oh my god!" You screamed, riding him faster. "I'm close. So close."

He reached between your legs, rubbing your clit. You were on the edge, and you needed just a little more to push you over. He rubbed your clit, faster and faster. "Bucky, I'm gonna come!" You cried out.

"Yes, come on my cock. Come for me."

And you came, screaming his name. Your orgasm triggered his. He came, shooting his load inside you. He grunted, thrusting hard. "Holy fuck." He moaned, still thrusting. "You're amazing."

You collapsed onto his chest, panting, wrapping his arms around your waist. Then after you caught your breath, you unwrapped his arms from you and got off him. You rolled your eyes and he was confused. "You didn't let me kiss you earlier, what happened doll? Are you mad at me or something? Did I do something wrong?" he asked, pulling on his boxers and sitting up.

You ignored his questions and stood up, reaching for your scattered clothes. "Y/N, what's wrong?" he pressed, his tone laced with worry.

You smirked at him, "Thanks for that, I needed it." You had taken revenge on using him.

Bucky stood there, stunned and feeling utterly foolish. He couldn't believe he had allowed you to manipulate him like that. "You said we're good..." he protested weakly, his voice filled with hurt and confusion.

Your response was cold and calculated, "Yeah, I said 'we're good for now,' which was then and not right now. So, I got what I needed from you." You didn't spare him a glance as you began to dress, your movements swift. "We're done here." You made a move to leave, but Bucky seized your arms, his grip tight and desperate.

"You're not leaving this room, not until you tell me why the hell you just did that." His eyes pleaded for an explanation, the hurt etched in his features tearing at your resolve. For a fleeting moment, a pang of guilt flickered within you, but you swiftly brushed it aside. "Y/N, stop. You can't just use me for sex," he implored.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you met his gaze head-on. "I can, and I did. Now, let go of me," you retorted, pushing him away with unyielding determination.

His eyes were now full of anger and disbelief. "So all this time, you were just acting? Pretending to be okay with me? Pretending that you've forgiven me? All this time, you didn't actually forgive me?!"

"Ha! Please, when did I said I forgive you? What do you think I am? A fool? You don't get to act like the victim here. It's your fault!” You yelled at him.

"You don't think I know that?! I fucked up, Y/N. I made a mistake and I'm sorry.” Running his hand through his hair. “What the fuck!"

"What do you mean 'what the fuck'? It's what you did to me! You fucked me and threw me out. What's wrong with me doing the same to you?" You scoffed, crossing your arms.

"You can't do that, Y/N…"

"I can't do that? I can't do the exact thing you did to me? That's rich, Barnes." He stayed quiet. He didn't have anything to say because he knew you were right.

"How does it feel, Barnes? Fucking hurt, doesn't it?" You said staring at his face. You wanted him to hurt just like how you did, you wanted to hurt him. He flinched, his jaw clenching. You were glad he was in pain, it gave you satisfaction. You wanted him to suffer.

He stared at you, his blue eyes filled with pain. You ignored it and started walking toward the door.

"Wait! Y/N please. Don't go. Stay." He pleaded as he grabbed your arm, "I... I was a jerk. I was scared and stupid. And... I was a fool, I don't want this to be over…” He said while looking into your eyes with his blue orbs. “Please, Y/N, just let me fix this…”

"I wish it were that simple. But it's not. It's too late. I guess we were doomed from the start." You said and ripped your arm from his grasp. “You don't get to hold me anymore. Don't ever come near me again. I mean it." You said sternly.

He stood there, tears welling up in his eyes, helpless and uncertain, fully aware that he had messed up beyond repair.

You couldn't stand the sight of Bucky, it broke your heart as much you hate to admit it. It took all your self-control not to run into his arms and hug him. But you had to stand your ground, he hurt you and you had to show him how much it affected you.

You turned around and walked away, then you heard glass shattering behind you. You didn't have to look back to know that the mirror had broken. Bucky had punched the mirror in his anger and frustration.

You walked out of the door, slamming it behind you.

And with that, you left him standing there, alone and broken.

Couple weeks after that you avoided Bucky like a plague. You were trying to forget about him and move on with your life. You never look at him and whenever he was near you, you would use every excuse to walk away or leave the room. If you were stuck in a situation where you had to interact with him, you kept it professional and didn't engage in any unnecessary conversation. Your relationship with Bucky had always been strained right from the beginning, making it no surprise to the other Avengers. So, your growing distance and avoidance tactics went unnoticed.

Bucky was trying his best to keep his distance from you, far enough so you would be comfortable but close enough so he could make sure that you were safe. You knew he was still trying to apologize and fix things with you. You didn't understand why he was doing this, his words, his touch, the way he's looking at you. You didn't need his apology, didn't want his sympathy. You didn't need him. Not now.

Every time he saw you, he would always try to catch your eye, but you never looked back. It was a little hard at first, since he had to see you almost every day, but as time went by, you guys had less interaction because of missions.

Now you were allowed back into the mission field and you were craving it. It took your mind off Bucky and it helped you forget about him.

You didn't need him in your life.

You wanted nothing to do with him.

But he wanted everything to do with you.

He was desperate.

You had no room in your life for someone who couldn't decide where you stood. The push and pull was exhausting, the mixed signals maddening. You also have gotten your revenge, you should feel satisfied. But you weren't. Why weren't you happy?

After awhile you were back on your normal self and started to move on, not because you stopped caring, but you didn't feel the constant heartache anymore. You could think about Bucky and not start crying or break into a cold sweat.

Meanwhile, Wanda shared the news that the gifts for Vision had been a success. While you were genuinely happy for them, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy deep down.

One day after a long mission, you were watching TV in the common area when you saw the three musketeers walking towards you. They were laughing and talking. You paid them no attention and just kept watching TV.

Sam was the first to greet you, his friendly smile easing some of the tension within you. "Fancy seeing you here, YN. It's been a while." He settled down beside you, and you scooted over to give him more space, returning his smile.

You smiled, it had been awhile since you saw them, you were actually starting to miss him. You knew it wasn’t their fault what happened between you and Bucky, so you didn't treat him differently.

You were glad to see Sam again, he was the only one that was acting the same around you. Bucky looked over at your direction, and when you saw him you looked away from him.

"Yeah. Been going on missions with Nat." You replied, attempting to keep the conversation casual.

Sam leaned in a bit, "How's that going for you?"

"Really well. I'm learning a lot. Nat is amazing. She taught me some of those moves too. Not as great as hers, but good enough to defend myself," you responded, appreciating the opportunity to share a positive aspect of your life.

"Nice." Sam smiled.

Taking a seat on the chair next to the couch, Steve turned to you with a warm smile. "How are you holding up, Y/N?" Steve asked, you knew he was asking about your emotional well-being.

"Fine," you gave him a little smile.

The room descended into awkward silence. The three men were making an effort to engage in conversation, but your discomfort hung heavy in the air. You didn't want to be mean or rude to them; after all, they had done nothing wrong. But being around Bucky felt almost unbearable, a constant reminder of a painful past.

“We're here for you. If you ever feel like talking, we're all ears." Steve offered gently. "If you want to talk about it, of course. If not, that’s totally fine too."

Bucky tried to intervene, sensing that you were about to share something he might not want to hear. "Steve, don't—"

You felt a surge of frustration, and despite Bucky's warning, you decided to share your pain, partly to hurt him back. "Well, there was this one person," you began.

"Well, there was this one person..” You started, cutting Bucky off. You decided to share your pain, partly to hurt him back, staring at Bucky.

Bucky clenched his jaw and averted his gaze. You saw a flicker of pain in his eyes.

Sam chimed in, "There's always someone.”

"Okay, the truth is that I met a guy." You rolled your eyes, trying to mask your vulnerability with a dismissive tone. "It turns out, he wasn’t the person I thought he was. I thought he liked me, and, well…"

Sam prodded, "Well what?"

"He didn't like me. It was all a joke to him." You paused for dramatic effect, locking eyes with Bucky. "The guy was so cold-hearted, he even admitted that he used me, that I was just a mistake." Your words were pointed, meant to hurt, and your gaze bore into Bucky as you sought to inflict the same pain, he had caused you.

Sam was visibly uncomfortable. Steve's face fell. Bucky stared at the floor, his fists clenched.

"Oh. That's... that's unfortunate. I'm sorry. Are you alright?" Steve asked gently, concern etched in his voice.

"Yes. I'll be fine. It's not the end of the world. I mean, it hurts. But I'll live." You answered.

Sam's expression twisted into a mix of anger and empathy. "That's beyond messed up. If I were there, I would beat him up."

"Yeah," you replied, your tone bitter. "But, don’t worry I already paid him back.”

Bucky looked guilty, his expression mirroring the remorse he felt. He shifted uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the floor. He stayed silent, stayed silent, fully aware of the pain he had inadvertently caused you.

“Nice! This is why I like you, Y/N!” Sam nodded in understanding. "So, what's your plan now?"

"Moving on," you replied, your voice steady. "I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me sad."

"Good call," Sam said, his tone filled with assurance. "You're amazing, Y/N. Whoever ends up with you will be incredibly lucky. He doesn't deserve your attention. And here's the best part: when you find someone better and move on, he'll be left regretting ever hurting you. That, my friend, is the sweetest revenge."

You nodded, touched by his supportive words. "Thanks, Sam. You're the best."

The atmosphere gradually shifted back to normal as you grabbed a beer to pregame before Tony's party. However, you kept avoiding Bucky's gaze, your responses becoming short and distant.

While Steve was talking with Bucky, Sam leaned closer, his voice low as he whispered into your ear, "Maybe what you ordered worked after all."

You pulled away from him, narrowing your eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sam smirked knowingly, "You know what I mean," he whispered back, his tone playful and suggestive.

"No, I don't." Your confusion deepened, genuinely puzzled by his words. You hadn't ordered anything, so what was he talking about?

The realization struck you suddenly, and you smacked his thigh in disbelief. "You did not!" The shock in your voice echoed around the room, leaving everyone stunned by your reaction.

Sam laughed heartily, "What? What did I do?" He feigned innocence, grinning mischievously.

"Come on, Sam, stop teasing her," Steve chimed in, giving Sam an amused yet admonishing look.

"I swear, man, I wasn't," Sam protested with a chuckle.

Natasha, always one to read between the lines, chimed in, appearing out of nowhere. "We all know you enjoy teasing the girl."

Sam looked genuinely surprised. "Damn, Nat, can you please not sneak up on me? I almost had a heart attack."

Natasha simply smirked, her response dripping with amusement. "You'll be fine." Her nonchalant remark only fueled the laughter in the room, leaving you momentarily flustered.

You were about to press Sam with more questions, but he managed to divert the conversation, addressing Natasha instead. "When's the party starting, Nat?" His timing seemed convenient, clearly trying to avoid further interrogation.

Natasha checked at her watch and then back at the group, "In about an hour or so, but I need to go now. I have some things to finish."

Ever the gentleman, Sam promptly stood up. "I'll help you, Nat," he offered, his tone earnest.

"That's sweet of you, Sam. Maybe I can find you a girl that likes bird costumes." She joked and the group laughed.

"Funny." Sam said sarcastically, then they walked away.

"Sam!" You called after him, but he continued walking, seemingly ignoring you. Frustration bubbling within, you raised your voice, "Get back here!"

Feeling the heat of embarrassment rise in your cheeks, you huffed in annoyance and sank back into your seat. The room fell into an awkward silence, and you shifted uncomfortably under the watchful gaze of Steve and Bucky.

You met their eyes, "What?" you snapped, but they only exchanged a subtle glance, their expressions unreadable.

Deciding you had had enough, you stood up abruptly. "Alright, I'm going as well. I need to start getting ready," you announced, trying to sound composed despite your frustration.

Bucky made a move to follow you, but Steve quickly caught his arm, holding him back. "No," Steve whispered, his voice barely audible. "Don't, not yet."

Time for the party, it was to celebrate the mission succeed. Tony arrived with Pepper, Wanda, and Vision. Then soon everyone gathered. He was keeping the party small though, only Avengers and close friends. It was a small party though.

In the midst of the party, as people bustled around grabbing food and chatting, you discreetly pulled Sam aside. "Did you know the inside of it?" you whispered.

Sam simply looked at you with a mischievous smile, "Umm no?" Sam teased, his grin widening.

Frustration tugged at you. "Ugh, come on, Sam. Just spill it," you urged.

He chuckled, enjoying your perplexity. "Yes, Y/N, guilty as charged. I was the one who accepted the delivery," he confessed, his tone lighthearted. Your playful annoyance was evident as you lightly hit his chest. "You weren't there. You've been MIA for the past couple of weeks.”

"Oh my god, Sam, you're a dick," you groaned, shaking your head at his antics. "That's rude, you shouldn't snoop around people's packages. It's an invasion of privacy."

"It wasn't on purpose, okay?" Sam defended himself, his grin unyielding. "I can read where it's from, and you don't need to be a genius to guess what's inside. So, yeah, I knew. And you know, it was really interesting to see the stuff you ordered," he teased, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. You just want to dig a hole and bury yourself.

As you both grabbed food together, you shot him a warning glare. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Don't worry, my lips are sealed," he assured, trying to be serious but failing to hide his amusement.

"It better be. If you tell anyone, I will kill you," you growled, half-joking but also dead serious.

"So, any plans with it?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Sam," you warned him, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Just saying. It's a very interesting device. It has so many settings and functions. It would make things easier," he continued, unable to resist teasing you further. "I'm sure it would come in handy," Sam chuckled, taking a bite of his food.

Your eyes widened in disbelief, feeling embarrassed. “Shut up," you hissed, wanting to hide and disappear, not knowing what else to say.

“Any guy would love it. If you know what I mean," he added, nudging you playfully and making you blush even more.

"You are making me uncomfortable," you whined, pouting like a child. "I am not talking to you anymore," you mumbled.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he said, holding up his hands in surrender. “It's perfectly normal. Don't be shy," he said, his words meant to be comforting but the smug smirk on his face was anything but. You groaned, wishing the earth would swallow you up right then and there. Dropping your face in your hands, hiding behind them.

“How did you know it was for me? I could've bought it as a present for a friend or family. And, you can't just accept someone else's package."

"Because you wrote your name on it," Sam pointed out, his expression playful. "You could've used a random name if it was meant to be a secret. And come on, I was the only one there. What was I supposed to tell the delivery guy? 'Hey, this package isn't mine, can you go back to the warehouse, please?'"

Taking a bite of your food, you couldn't help but chuckle at his logic. He had a way of making even the most awkward situations seem amusing.

Sam chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. "So, you bought sex toys and lingerie as a present?"

You were about to answer him when Tony dinked the glass and said, "Hello everyone, thanks for coming here." He paused as everyone clapped. "Let's raise our glasses for all of us, may we have a great year." Everyone raised their glass and cheered.

Before everyone drink, Tony stopped us "Not you kid." He pointed at Peter, "You're not allowed to have alcohol, go drink some soda."

"Aww come on, Mr. Stark. I’m not a kid anymore." Peter protested, attempting to sound mature.

"No, and don't complain or I'll kick you out."

“Fine.” Peter rolled his eyes but left to grab a soda.

You smiled as you saw Pepper leaning against Tony's side. They looked happy. You couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at their public display of affection. You wanted that with Bucky. You sighed, looking down at the drink in your hand.

You were sitting between Sam and Bruce. Bruce was quiet most of the time and Sam kept talking to you and Bruce. You had fun and the food was great. You didn't really drink that much, you just had two or three drinks.

Across from you, Bucky's glances were hard to ignore. His expression was far from cheerful, but you relished in his irritation. Seizing the opportunity, you continued to emphasize your closeness with Sam, subtly trying to provoke Bucky.

Sam tapped you and leaned in again to whispered, "You still haven't answered my question."

You shot him a playful grin. "Didn't know you were so curious, Sam. Besides, I don't feel obligated to reveal my secrets."

"Touché, Y/N, touché," Sam replied, a smirk playing on his lips. " But come on, humor a man, will you?"

"Alright, how about this? I bought it for a friend," you responded casually. “They're just really shy about it."

Sam raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eye, "Oh yeah, and does this friend have a name?"

"They do, but I don't have to tell you everything," you said with a smile.

Sam nodded, and smiled back, "You're right, you don't." You saw Bucky sat in front of you, looking like he was about to kill someone. You smirked on the inside, knowing it was working. "I'll tell you something though, they're pretty lucky to have a friend like you."

"Well, I am the best." You winked at Sam.

He was going to say something when the two of you were interrupted. "I need to talk to you," Bucky growled at Sam.

"I'm in the middle of a conversation, can't it wait?"

"No," Bucky responded, glaring at him.

You knew Bucky was jealous, you could tell by the look in his eyes, and you liked it. You smirked, "Yeah, Barnes. Don't be rude, you're interrupting us."

Bucky looked at you, and he could tell by the look in your eye, that you knew what you were doing, and were enjoying it. He clenched his jaw and staring at you.

Sam smiled, "It's fine, I have to use the bathroom anyway. Talk to you later?"

You nod, smiling at him, "Sure thing, Sam."

He got up, and you watched as he and Bucky walked to the other side of the room, talking quietly. You wished you knew what they were saying, but you had a feeling that it was about you.

"That was interesting," Wanda said, making you look at her.

"What do you mean? It was nothing."

She smirked, "You're an awful liar, and I can tell when you're trying to make a certain someone jealous."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Just a bit." Wanda smiled. "But he deserved it, he was being a dick to you, so you can have a little fun."

"Exactly."

"But remember, don't let it go too far."

You nodded, looking back at them. They were still talking, but Sam had his back to you, so you couldn't see his expression. Then he turned around and walked back towards you.

"Hey, I gotta go. Thanks for the chat, I'll talk to you later."

You smiled and said, "Oh where are you going? We could hang out more."

"I have work to do."

"On a Saturday?"

"Yes, the glamorous life of an Avenger," Sam quipped.

You sighed dramatically, a playful pout forming on your lips. "Fine, have fun saving the world."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Sam winked at you.

You scoffed, "Please, I’m not a child."

"Whatever you say," Sam said, laughing as he walked away.

Rolling your eyes, you let out a sigh, focusing on your drink. It was clear that Bucky had a hand in this – he was the only one with any issue against Sam. But it seemed to work, because as soon as you started talking to Sam, you could see the anger in Bucky's eyes. You ignored him.

As the night wore on, the music grew louder, and the crowds began to dance. It was a great party. You were sitting at the bar, drinking a glass of whiskey. You didn't feel like dancing or partying, you didn't have the energy to do it.

You turned around and caught a glimpse of Steve and Bruce dancing with Wanda and Natasha. Then Bucky came beside you, his eyes focused on something. He was leaning against the counter, his back to you. A sigh escaped your lips, and you rolled your eyes discreetly, wondering why he continued to linger around you.

He finally glanced over his shoulder, his blue eyes meeting yours, and he offered you a small smile. Just as you contemplated leaving, Bucky spoke up, "I see you're getting comfortable with Sam."

Not in the mood for an argument, you nonchalantly shrugged and responded, "He's a good friend."

Bucky's voice lowered, and he muttered, "A little too friendly, don't you think?"

You met his intensity with a nonchalant attitude, taking another sip of your whiskey. "So?"

"What do you mean, 'so'?" Bucky's frown deepened. "Can't you see? He's flirting with you and you flirted back. He’s all over you."

"And?"

"Why would you do that?!" He asked.

"I believe that's none of your concern, Barnes." You continued to sip your drink, maintaining your composure.

"I care about you," Bucky said quietly.

You snorted, turning your attention back to your glass.

Bucky shifted in his seat, turning to face you. He placed his hand on top of yours, causing you to flinch. "I mean it, Y/N. And Sam is my friend.”

Then you raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Am I not allowed to be friends with him? I don't have any problem with him."

Bucky's jaw clenched, his frustration boiling over, "Look, Y/N. You and Sam are getting very close. Friends don't do that. Do you know how he looked at you?"

A mischievous glint lit up your eyes as you prodded, "Oh, how is it? Tell me."

"Like he's about to jump you anytime," Bucky replied, his tone tense with disapproval.

"Is that a bad thing, Barnes?" you teased, your smile intentionally provocative, knowing it irked him.

"Of course, it is," Bucky snapped, his patience wearing thin.

You couldn't help but chuckle, finding his jealousy rather entertaining. As Bucky's patience wore thin, he snapped, "This is no laughing matter."

"Sure it is," you retorted, your voice light and teasing. "Why even care? You made it clear that it was just a heat-of-the-moment thing. So, perhaps I’ll fuck him next. It seems like he's interested." Casually, you finished your drink and set the empty glass on the counter. "Thanks for the heads-up." You turned to leave, but his hand shot out to your wrist, stopping you from getting up. Your gaze flickered between the metal hand and his eyes.

"The fuck you won’t." Bucky's voice was low, his expression hard, his jaw clenched tightly. “If he touches you, I’ll break his arm."

Instantly, you yanked your hand away, your eyes narrowing in defiance. "Don't touch me," you warned, your voice sharp with anger, setting a clear boundary against his possessiveness.

Bucky's blue eyes flashed with anger, his fists clenched at his sides. "Don’t fucking touch him. Or anyone.” He leaned closer to you, your body tense. “Because, I'm the only one who should touch you," he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

You met his glare head-on. "And why would I do that? So you can break my heart again? No thanks. I'm not a toy that you can play with, and discard when you're bored.”

Bucky clenched his jaw, and grabbed your arms, pushing you against the counter. "No, I don't want to see you with him. You're mine."

With an exasperated sigh, you held his gaze, your patience wearing thin. You didn't want to continue this game of emotional tug-of-war. "Let me remind you, Barnes," you said, your voice steady but firm, "Last I check, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. You made it very fucking clear that I was a mistake and you used me.”

You attempted to leave, but Bucky's grip on your arm tightened, pulling you closer. His touch sent an electric jolt through you, "Last I check, you belong to me when you were begging and squirming as I fucked you, doll. I can make you forget him, I can fuck you better than him. I'll show you how a man fucks his woman, doll."

His words sent a shiver down your spine and you could feel your core pulsed. Goddamn it, why did he have this effect on you. Despite the undeniable physical reaction, you mentally reinforced your resolve.

“Nope. I learned my lesson. And did you forget about what I said to you? Don’t go near me," you replied nonchalantly. "Now if you'll excuse me." You tugged at your hand, wanting to break free, but he held fast.

He held your hand and pulled you back to him. "No," he said simply.

"Yeah, well, I'm done taking orders from you," you shot back, refusing to back down, though your heart raced in your chest.

"I'm not letting you be with him, Y/N," Bucky asserted, his voice low and possessive.

"That decision isn't yours to make," you declared, avoiding his gaze, aware that meeting his eyes might shatter your resolve.

"Why? What's the problem, Y/N?" he pressed, his frustration evident.

"Are you seriously asking me that?” You glared at him, “YOU'RE THE PROBLEM! YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM BUCKY!" You yelled and his grip loosened, and you pulled away from him. You didn't care that the room had fallen silent, with everyone's attention now focused on your heated exchange. Unfazed by the sudden silence, you continued, "I'm tired of your excuses, your indecision, and your damn games. It's always one step forward and two steps back with you. I told you I’m done!"

"So you're done with me, and now you have Sam, so you'll follow him around?" Bucky's words were laced with bitterness and jealousy. "Who's next, huh? Steve? He's Captain America; you should fuck at him instead, climb him like a tree. Or better yet, maybe you can do all of us. Let us have a go."

Regret instantly washed over him as he realized how hurtful his words had been. "I'm really sorry," he began, "I didn't mean—"

But it was too late. Your anger boiled over, and without thinking, your hand flew across his face, the sharp sound of the slap echoing in the room. "What did I do for you to treat me like this?" you demanded.

"Is it because I joined the team because of my connection with Fury?" Your tone cut through the air like a razor. "I worked for this for years. I’ve fought, bled, sacrificed, and pushed myself to the limits, all to be an Avenger. I earned my place, damn it. Do I not deserve it? Why are you punishing me? Fucking tell me!”

You were beyond caring about the eyes fixed on the unfolding drama. 'Let them gossip,' you thought bitterly, your focus solely on the man before you.

“Sorry that life was hard on you, but don’t make it hard for anyone else either," you continued, "No, you know what? I'm not sorry. Life is shit sometimes, and that's just how it is. You have a right to be upset and have feelings, Barnes. But the way you treat people, the way you treat me like trash, that's not okay. It's not fair, and I won't stand for it any longer."

His jaw tensed, and for a moment, it seemed like he wanted to say something. But you didn't give him the chance. "Oh, my bad. Feeling is a foreign word to you, right? Maybe they died when you fell off that train in the '40s."

He could only watch as tears welled up in your eyes, as his mouth moved but no words came out. He was speechless. He couldn't say anything, only guilt was evident on his face.

"Or maybe you forgot how they work. Since you been the Winter Soldier for so long, your emotions are a bit rusty. How does one even deal with feelings and shit when they're programmed to not have them? When they're forced to kill, hurt, and torture innocent people.”

Your tone was merciless, and you instantly regretted your words as you saw the hurt flash across Bucky's face. But you couldn’t stop, the dam had burst, unable to halt the torrent of pent-up frustration.

“They turn you into a weapon. Is that who you are, Barnes? A weapon, a monster without a soul. You've lost all your feelings, all that remains is a cold-blooded, heartless killer. The Winter fucking Soldier.” Your words spat out.

His jaw clenched, and his hands formed fists, his usual rage replaced by a profound sadness. "You’re right… I'm nothing but a monster..."

Steve stepped forward, trying to mediate the escalating tension. "Come on, guys, let's all just take a moment to cool down," Steve said, attempting to diffuse the situation.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his predictable attempt to intervene between you both. "Oh, no, Steve, there's no need to cool down," you retorted, "because there's no fire, except for the flames of my rage. Your best friend here is the one who started the fire."

"Y/N-" Bucky tried to say something, but his words trailed off, lost in the thickness of the charged atmosphere.

“I thought there was more to you than just the Winter Soldier, but every time I see you, you prove me wrong." But your fury was uncontainable, and you turned to face Bucky again, your eyes ablaze with righteous anger. "Stay the fuck away from me, Barnes. Don't come near me. Don't talk to me. Don't even fucking look at me."

Feeling the weight of your anger and frustration, you turned abruptly and rushed towards the exit. You were done, utterly fed up, unable to bear it any longer. Unbeknownst to you, tears slipped down your cheeks. With a swift motion, you wiped away the tears, refusing to let them further betray your vulnerability.

As you strode through the streets, lost in your thoughts, you found your mind drifting back to a time when Bucky had attempted to apologize. You were still so mad at him for what he'd done, you were not going to forgive him any time soon.

One night, you were sitting on the sofa in the common room, trying to focus on your book, when the door opened. You saw Bucky coming in and he stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you. You immediately got up, wanting to leave before things got bad.

But, of course, Bucky couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Hey, doll, how are you?"

You didn't answer, grabbing your book and trying to walk away.

He followed you, "Doll, can we talk?"

You were already walking down the hall when he said that, "I don't have anything to say."

"Then just listen, please." Bucky almost begged,

You stopped, sighing and rolling your eyes. You turned around, and crossed your arms, not wanting him to come near you. "I don't have to." You walked faster to your room.

"Please I'll do anything, just let me apologize, I'm begging you!" Bucky was following you still,

You turned around, "Why would I want you to do anything with you? Just leave me alone." You said, turning around and continuing walking.

"C'mon, Doll, I know you hate me, but let me apologize and explain myself.” Bucky said,

You didn't even bother looking at him and kept walking faster.

"Doll, just please," Bucky was starting to get desperate.

You got into your room and locked the door. He knocked couple of times but you ignored him. You put on your headphone and blasted the music. You could hear Bucky banging the door. You were ignoring him until he didn't go away. You turned the volumes up to a deafening level and tried to drown out his voice.

The memory dissolved abruptly as you felt a hand on your wrist, your reflexes primed for confrontation. You whipped around, ready to hit the person behind you, but the person behind you caught your fist. Your eyes flashed with anger.

"What the fuck do you want? Why are you still following me?" you seethed, your voice dripping with contempt. "Fuck off. You're the last person I want to see right now."

Bucky tightened his grip on your wrist, his eyes pleading with sincerity. "I'm so sorry. I know that's not enough, and it doesn't make it better, but I need you to understand how truly sorry I am. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

You scoffed, "Yeah, sure. Tell that to someone else.” you retorted, your tone laced with bitterness. "I'm sick of hearing apologies." You attempted to pull away, but he held firm.

"I meant it, Y/N." Bucky insisted, his voice earnest. "I'm telling the truth. I'm an idiot, and I made a stupid decision. I'm trying my best to make up for it."

"Go," you demanded, your voice breaking as your frustration boiled over. "I don't want to see you. Just leave me alone."

"Y/N, please…" Bucky persisted, his voice laced with desperation. He walked beside you, oblivious to the curious gazes from passersby. You stared around, people started to recognize him since he was the famous Winter Soldier. Even when he was wearing casual clothes, and not in his Winter Soldier uniform, his metal arm still drew attention.

You walked faster, wanting to get away from him. But he was faster. You didn’t want people to notice that the infamous Winter Soldier was following you, so you stopped. "Just leave me alone!" you yelled, your anger fueling your words.

As soon as you yelled, the bystanders gasped and started whispering amongst themselves. The last thing you needed was more drama and attention toward you. Embarrassment washed over you, and you turned to run, desperate to escape the public scrutiny. Bucky matched your every step. He reached out and grasped your hand, refusing to let you go.

In an attempt to break free, you fought against his hold, muscles straining with the effort. "Let go of me, Buck!" you protested, attempting to wrench yourself away from him. The crowd around you seemed to blur into a background hum as your focus remained solely on Bucky.

"Not until we settle this," he replied, his voice low and intense, his fingers tightening around your arms.

Your glare deepened, frustration boiling over. "There's nothing to settle here, Barnes. Now, let go of me. Before I make you," you warned, your tone sharp with anger and defiance.

A stubborn glint flickered in his eyes. "No." His grip tightened slightly, his jaw clenched with resolve. "Make me, Y/N," he challenged, his voice steady. "I know you're strong, so make me."

In a surge of frustration, you summoned all your strength and pushed against him with all your might. Bucky stumbled backward, losing his balance, and fell to the ground.

You stood over him, your voice laced with defiance. "There," you panted, your chest heaving with emotion, "I did it. I hope you're happy."

Bucky remained silent, but the bystanders, their eyes wide with disbelief, started recording the scene with their phones, capturing the unexpected sight of you standing tall over the fallen Winter Soldier. The urge to smash their phones surged within you, but you resisted, your focus solely on the man at your feet.

"Well, I'm going. You're making a scene,” you declared, taking your first steps away from the growing commotion.

"I just want to talk, doll." He got up.

"And I don’t wanna listen." Yet Bucky, refusing to let you go that easily, got up and followed after you, his footsteps echoing behind you. Your patience wearing thin, you spun around, your eyes ablaze with anger. "Stop following me you creep!"

Having had enough, Bucky seized you and pulled you into a nearby alley. He pinned your arms against the wall, a conflicted look in his eyes. "Let me go," you growled, straining to break free from his firm hold.

"You know that I can't. I won't.” Bucky replied, his voice tinged with remorse.

A surge of panic gripped you, "If you don't, I'll scream." Your threat to scream hanging in the air.

You were about to let out a piercing cry when Bucky swiftly placed his hand over your mouth. "Don't scream. Please," he implored, his eyes pleading with you. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

In response, you bit down on his hand, but he didn’t flinch. "I know you're furious. You have every right to be. But I’m truly sorry.” Bucky's words poured out, sincere and raw. "Please just give me time to explain everything."

You maintained your glare, your eyes brimming with tears you refused to shed. And finally, Bucky released his grip on your mouth and hands, taking a step back, giving you room to breathe. His voice softened, carrying the weight of his regret. "Listen to me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.”

You tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge, not that it did anything, the metal arm didn't even move. His eyes were begging, and he looked sincere, you wanted to believe him, but you couldn't.

"Go to hell! I hate you!" The dam finally broke, tears spilling over. You felt weak and vulnerable, consumed by anger and hurt. You then hit his chest, "I hate you!" Hit it again, "You're the worst!" Hit it again, "You fucking hurt me!"

You hammered his chest repeatedly to vent out. Bucky stood there, unmoved, letting you vent your rage on him. You were crying hard at this point. You were upset that he saw you like this, looking weak.

Then you felt tired emotionally, you stopped hitting him as you realized what a mess you're becoming. Your hands hurt because you were hitting him too much. He grabbed your wrists, "Doll you are hurting yourself, stop pushing me.. don't hurt yourself."

"You did it first! You hurt me, you broke my heart." You continued pushing him, "let go of me, please." You started crying harder, you couldn't see because of the tears and your head was throbbing.

You dropped down your gaze to the ground not wanting to see his face. You didn't know why he was acting like this, you were so fed up. "I don't want to see your face, Barnes. I can't believe you had the audacity to still show up in front of me. When you know that you're a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be forgiven."

He let go of your arms and you wanted to push him away but you were so tired, so exhausted. He placed his hand beside your head caging you in, you knew he was staring at you. "I know… I'm a monster. I know I didn't deserve you. I'm sorry… for everything."

You stayed silent and just crying, your heart aching at the memories. It was so painful.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just wanted you to know. But I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of the things I said. I'm the monster, not you. You're everything good and I'm nothing." You continued to stay silent not wanting to give in.

You couldn't hold your emotions in anymore, so you just cried. He wiped your tears from your eyes and you shook your head not wanting him to touch you, you hated it, you hated that he was here. He sighed and removed his hand from your face.

You felt like he deserved it, he hurt you, and you want him to feel the pain. He stepped back a few steps, giving you space. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Doll." He apologized, "I'm a fucking asshole and a coward. I should have never done that."

"Please doll, don't cry… I'm really sorry… I shouldn't say those words. I shouldn't hurt you." You continued to cry, "Tell me what to do to make it stop."

"Just go away, Bucky." Your voice barely whispered.

"Do you really hate me that much, doll?" You nodded at him, "Will it make it better if I go away?"

You stayed silent, this was what you wanted, for him to leave. But why did you feel so hurt? You didn't answer him, you couldn't answer him.

Instead you just sobbed like a mess. "Y/N, please, look at me." You didn't, you were so tired of everything, you couldn't even lift a finger. You felt numb and just sad, it hurt so much.

"Please, doll. I'm a jerk, a horrible person. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.” He dropped down on his knees looking at you with sad eyes, begging. “Please. I need you. I can't lose you."

You were shocked, the most feared assassin in the world was on his knees, in front of you. He looked at you, and you just shook your head. He was being sincere and genuine, but you couldn't accept it. "I need you, please. Give me a chance, let me make it up to you. I beg of you, don't leave me." He was being sincere and genuine, but you couldn't accept it.

You were looking at him crying, not knowing what to do. There wasn't an excuse, nothing would make this better. You felt your heart break, seeing him like this made your heart ache. You had so much pain inside of you. You just couldn't.

"Bucky, just stop." You tried to made him stand up but he wouldn't. "Get up, this is stupid."

He shook his head, "Not until you give me a chance. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I'm not even worthy of looking at you, but please, let me have a chance." He looked up at you with tearful eyes.

"Don't do this. You're making it worse." You said and he grabbed your hand, "If it means I get a chance, then I'm not getting up. Just please, tell me what I can do."

You closed your eyes. This is so wrong, he was so wrong, this is not right. "I can't do this, this is crazy." You closed your eyes tightly and sighed. You were conflicted.

He shook his head and cried, "I didn't know what came over me, I wasn't good at expressing my feelings, I don't know what else to say, except that I'm sorry.”

You scoffed, "And why do you think you have the right to say that, after all the shit you've done?"

He looked at you, and spoke, "Because, I was wrong, and I'm really sorry."

You didn't want to give in but he was looking at you with such an innocent expression, he looked so broken and helpless. "Sorry just doesn't cut it, Barnes.”

He was quiet for a moment, then spoke, "I know I don't, doll. I know I'm a monster. A murderer. I don't have a right to live." He said in between sobs, and you couldn't help but feel pity towards him. "I've given up all my hopes and dreams when I've been in the hydra. But you give me hope, doll. You give me dreams."

His eyes were filled with sadness, tears streaming down his face. "The minute I saw you, you were everything that was right. I didn't know who you were, and I had no idea how I was going to tell Steve, or anyone. I was afraid. So, I tried to stay away, but the more I was away, the more I missed you.”

Your heart beat faster, you felt something in your stomach. You couldn't describe it, you went to knelt in front of him, he didn't dare to meet your gaze. "Bucky, look at me.”

"I don't have the right, doll. I don't deserve to look at you." He said in between his sobs. “I'm a monster. I deserve to die, not to love."

"You are not a monster.” You placed your hand on his cheek, stroking it gently, hoping it would soothe him. “I’m sorry too for hurting you for all the things I said to you...”

He leaned into your touch, placing his hand over yours. "Please, don't apologize. It was all my fault. I caused this, I hurt you." He whispered.

"We both hurt each other, Bucky. We both fucked up.”

He still didn't meet your gaze. You held his chin and forced him to look at you. You cupped his cheeks, he looked so broken. You wiped his tears, and said, "Why did you say those things to me? Why you said I was a mistake? Why did you say you used me? Why Bucky?"

He took a deep breath and said “Because I was afraid that if I got close, I'll just end up hurting you. I always fuck up in the end somehow, look what I did. I'm such a stupid man. I'm an idiot and an asshole." He took your hands from his face, kissing them before placing them back to his cheeks. "I've never felt anything for anyone. I've never loved anyone, never been in love. Not until I met you. When I'm with you, I feel different. When you smiled at me, when you look at me, I feel that I could be a better man. I want to be a better man for you. You make me feel, you make me alive, you made me happy. You showed me a new life. You're everything I could've ever dreamed of. You're perfect and I don't deserve you."

His hand then touched your hand caressing it lightly, "I was really going to confess everything to you that night. I was going to tell you that I like you, and ask you if I can take you out, or if I can have the chance to show you how much you mean to me. That you make my heart beat fast, and how my whole body goes numb, and my skin tingles when I'm around you. I wanted to tell you that I love you, because I'm pretty sure that I do. But, when I was about to do it, I knocked on your door couple of times, but you didn't answer, so I thought that maybe you were already asleep. So I decided to wait until the next day.”

He took a deep breath before he continued. "That morning, I got a message from the victim's family when I killed them as winter soldier. They told me how they wished that I died instead. How they wished that it was me. And they said they had a daughter, and her name was Bianca. They said, she was beautiful and full of life. They said, if it wasn't for me, their daughter wouldn't have been murdered."

Your heart broke at his confession, but you stayed silent, listening to him, you couldn’t speak, not yet.

He confessed as he looked at you, his eyes filled with tears, and you couldn't help but cry too. "I felt so guilty hearing them said that. I was angry because of what I did. I was mad at myself, and I didn't want you to get involved with someone like me. I can't have anyone else get hurt. I don't know what I’ll do if anything happens to you."

You pulled him into a tight hug, and he clung to you. His arms wrapped around your waist. "I wanted to push you away, you deserve someone better. I thought, maybe if I was a jerk, you would stop liking me. But as soon as I realized, I regretted everything.”

You held him tighter, your heart aching for him. He sobbed quietly, burying his face into your neck. “I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking. You were never mine, but losing you broke me. It was so hard for me to keep myself away from you when all I want is to be with you. I know it, and I don't deserve you.”

"It's okay, I'm here." You rubbed his back, trying to calm him down.

He broke the hug and looked at your eyes, "You have every right not to believe me, but please. Give me a chance. One last chance, and if you decide you still hate me, then I'll let you go. But please, please give me a chance to prove myself."

You didn't know what to do. He was broken, and he was begging you for a chance. It was the least you could do. You were conflicted, but your heart won over, you couldn't bear to see him on his knees like this. "Okay, Bucky. But first let's stand up, my legs are killing me."

He pulled you up, his arms encircling your waist, pulling you flush against him. "I won't disappoint you, doll. I promise. I will make it up to you, and if it takes me forever, then I'll do it."

You stood and looked at him, "Bucky, if we're going to do this. You must promise me, no more secrets. We have to be honest to each other. We have to learn to talk about our problems, and we have to try and understand each other. If you have something bothering you, don't push me away. Come and talk to me."

"Okay, I promise." He nodded, "Thank you, doll. For giving me a chance. I won't fail you." He pulled you closer, his hands gripping your hips, his eyes burning with lust.

You looked at him and smiled, he looked back at you and gave you a small smile. "But that doesn't mean I already forgive you. It's going to take some time, but I want us to work on this. Together."

"Yeah, I know. I will beg every minute if it takes.” His hands moved to your hips, holding you firmly in place. You both stood there in silence before he asked, "Doll, what are we now?"

"What do you mean?" You knew what he was asking but you pretended to not know.

"Doll, can I ask you out? Will you be my girl?"

You relished the moment, letting him wait with a playful pause. His nervous anticipation brought a smile to your face. "Yes, if you'll have me."

Bucky sighed in relief, "Finally!" A broad smile adorned his face as he hugged you tightly, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. Laughter bubbled from within you. "Thank you, doll." He gently set you down, and you both stared at each other.

You then wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He was shocked at first, but soon his arms wrapped around your waist. He kissed back and it was the most passionate kiss ever.

You then wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He was shocked at first, but soon enough, he responded. You moaned into the kiss, your body melting into his embrace, and his arms circled your waist, pulling you closer.

His tongue brushed against your lower lip, asking for entrance. You parted your lips, allowing his tongue to slip inside, tasting your mouth. Your tongue danced with his. His tongue explored every inch of your mouth. His hand found its way into your hair, tugging slightly, eliciting another moan from you. He pulled back and pecked your lips, smiling softly. "You're beautiful, doll."

You blushed and bit your lower lip, a smirk forming on your face. "You're not so bad yourself, sergeant."

He chuckled and shook his head, "You're making me blush, doll."

“Shut up, kiss me again.” You tugged his collar and pulled him closer, your lips colliding in a passionate kiss. You two had a lot to talk about, but that could wait. Right now, you just wanted to stay in his arms. You wanted him.

Bucky then grabbed your ass and lifted you, and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You felt the wall behind you and Bucky placed his metal arm on the wall.

You felt his erection rubbing on your center, and he started grinding his hips into yours. You felt him rub against you and moan into your mouth. "Ahh, Bucky."

You could feel him twitching through his jeans, and his metal hand moved from the wall, to under your shirt. He caressed your stomach and moved his hand upwards. Your heart was pounding, and you were excited.

He stopped the kiss and placed his forehead on yours. “Doll, can I?"

"Yes." You whispered.

His hand cupped your breast, and he groaned. “You drive me crazy, doll." He pinched your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moaned and he placed his other hand down your pants. You felt him pull your pants down, and he slipped his fingers in between your folds.

"Bucky."

"Doll, you're so wet." He groaned, and started to rub your clit. "So beautiful."

His metal hand continued to play with your nipples, and he used his left hand to start rubbing your clit faster. You started to moan louder, and Bucky put his other hand over your mouth.

"Shh, baby, be quiet. I don't want the others hearing." He smirked and removed his hand from your mouth. You bit your lip and his finger started to slide inside you.

"Please Bucky..."

"What do you need, doll?"

"You."

He grinned, "Are you sure? I mean we just made up."

"I'm sure, and plus I've already touched myself thinking of you."

Bucky groaned, "Oh god, that's so fucking hot. Tell me more."

"I was fingering myself and I was thinking about your dick, and how much I needed you. I was thinking of your cock filling me up."

"Oh god, fuck."

"But it wasn't enough, and it would never be enough. I needed your big fat cock to make me cum."

When things got intense, then suddenly you heard something fell down. You both froze and looked around, then Bucky let you go and you were back on your feet.

Then a rat came out, and you and Bucky breathed a sigh of relief. You laughed, and you were blushing.

"Hey, don't laugh." He teased.

"That was a huge ass rat! What was it doing in here?" you exclaimed.

"Welcome to New York, doll. It's a rat haven." he chuckled.

“Ugh, gross." You laughed and shot him a playful glance.

Bucky responded by wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you in for a kiss. "Shall we continue this somewhere more private?" he suggested with a mischievous grin.

"Thought you won't ask." You said, smiling. You kissed him and bit his bottom lip. He moaned and looked at you and smirked. "Lead the way, Sergeant Barnes."

"Anything for you, doll." He guided you outside the alley, holding your hands. As you walked down the street, you felt a nervous excitement. His hand in yours, palms sweaty, he squeezed your hand and shot a warm smile your way.

You couldn't believe that he was actually holding your hand, and he was being nice. You felt something in the pit of your stomach, a good feeling. The man you have been in love with for two years, the man who is now your boyfriend, and the man who is going to take you back home and make you scream his name.

"Wanda saw us you know in the gym, why did you lie about it?" You looked up to him and he averted his gaze.

Bucky face hardened, he looked annoyed, "She told you that?" You nodded in confirmation. He sighed, a conflicted look in his eyes. "I didn't want you to be embarrassed or feel awkward. I thought it was best to say no one saw us. I guess she's a rat, just like those in the alley," he gritted his teeth, frustration building.

You chuckled, "It was awkward, I mean I got blackmail by her into buying her sex toys." You were giggling but Bucky wasn't.

"She did that to you? I'll talk to her." Bucky's tone indicated he was ready to take matters into his own hands.

"No, no, it's fine. Really," you reassured him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "Don't be upset. And please, don't have a word with her. It's between me and her."

"Fine, baby. Only because it’s you who asked me.” He said.

You giggled and leaned up and kissed his cheek. Then Bucky called a taxi and opened the door for you. You blushed and thanked him. He climbed inside the car and sat close to you. He put his arm around your shoulders, and you laid your head on his chest.

The whole ride was silent. You noticed this wasn't the way to the compound, "Where are we going, Buck?"

He rubbed his thumb on your bare skin and you relaxed in his arms. "To my place."

"You have a place? But you live in the compound."

"Yeah, I have a place in Brooklyn. Just for me, no one knows about it, except Steve. I wanted some privacy and peace away from everyone. But, now you're going to know where I live, too."

"Oh, okay." You were so comfortable and calm that you fell asleep. You woke up to a gentle touch of a hand, stroking your hair.

"Wake up, doll. We're here." You arrived at your destination.

You lifted your head and looked at him sleepily. He looked at you and chuckled, "How can you be so cute and sexy at the same time, huh?"

You blushed and giggled, "Shut up."

"C'mon."

He took your hand and guided you inside the building. It was really nice, the hallway was bright and had a fresh scent. It was an old building, but it had a modern vibe. He opened the door and let you in.

It was a spacious studio apartment. The living room was open to the kitchen and the bedroom. "Wow this place is amazing."

When you turned around, Bucky immediately kissed you and his hands were cupping your face. You smiled as he kissed you and his tongue slid in. The kiss was hungry and passionate, you felt how much he desired you, you could taste him, smell him. He pushed you against the wall and his thigh was pressed between your legs, rubbing you through the fabric.

His body pressed up against yours. His thigh was pressed between your legs, rubbing you through the fabric. He let go of your hand and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. "Mhhh..." Your lips parted and his kisses moved to your neck. You were breathing heavily, moaning his name. His teeth nibbled at the skin and you grabbed his hair.

He moved his hands down your back and cupped your ass, lifting you up. Your legs automatically wrapped around his waist and your arms were on his neck. He carried you to the bedroom, his hands were everywhere and you were moaning into the kiss.

He sat on the bed and you were sitting on his lap. "Let's not stop this time, okay?" He looked into your eyes.

"Yes, yes." God yes, it had been too long since you had his cock inside you and you desperately wanted him.

"Good girl." Bucky started kissing your neck and you moved your hips, trying to grind against him. You let out a moan and held his head, running your hands through his hair.

He started pulling off your clothes and you sat up and took off your shirt. Bucky stopped and was just staring at you. "What are you waiting for?" Your grip tightened around his hair.

"Sorry, just admiring the view." He pulled off his shirt, and then took his pants off. You stared at him, and he was breathtakingly beautiful. His body was chiseled and sculpted like a Greek God, and he was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

"Fuck..." You cursed as he unclasped your bra and began sucking on your left nipple and while his metal hand was kneading your right breast. He did the same to the other side. You were a moaning mess under his touch.

"Your breasts are so perfect, doll. Can't get enough of them."

You kissed him again and began grinding your hips against him. He then grabbed your hips and began grinding you back, you felt him getting hard, and you felt like you were going to explode soon. He was breathing heavily, his eyes were dark, lustful.

You then started to take off your panties. "No, leave them on. That's my job." He threw you on the mattress and got on top of you and started sucking and licking your nipples before he went down kissing your body. He was trailing wet kisses to your stomach. He took off your underwear and spread your legs.

Then he was on his knees, he kissed your inner thigh and made you whine. "So impatient, baby."

"Shut up."

He chuckled and then he was kissing the junction of your thighs and hips.

"Bucky, please!"

He smirked and then licked your slit. Your hands went to his hair and he was holding your hips. He was sucking your clit and licking your entrance. You were writhing under his touch. started licking your pussy, eating you out like a starving man.

"Holy shit... Bucky!" You were panting and he was going deeper and deeper. You couldn't think straight anymore. All you could think was his mouth on your pussy. His tongue was working wonders on your cunt. You were moaning his name and tugging his hair.

He inserted a finger and pumped slowly, making you gasp and moan. "Ah, Buck, feels good." Your breath hitched.

"I can feel your tight pussy clenching around my finger, Y/N." He said as he added another finger. You arched your back and whimpered. He sucked your clit and pumped his fingers faster.

His fingers were reaching places that you didn't know existed. He sucked harder and was now fucking you with his fingers. You could feel his metal finger and the vibrations were intense.

He curled his fingers and you arched your back. He was sucking your clit and licking, too. Your legs were shaking and he was holding your hips harder.

"Fuck! Bucky!" You couldn't take it anymore. You were so close. "I'm gonna come."

"Come for me, baby. Come on my face."

"Fuck! Oh god. Bucky!" You screamed as you came on his face. You felt him smile as he licked up all your juices.

When he was done, "That's it, doll. Good girl. Come here." He got on top of you and kissed you. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and it was making you even more horny.

He was kissing your face and lips. "I want to ride you properly now, Bucky."

"God yes, whatever the lady wants." He moved off of you and lied on his back, and you crawled on top of him.

You kissed his chest and his stomach, then you looked into his eyes as you were moving down on him. You were rubbing his cock between your folds. His hands were on your hips, squeezing and digging his nails in.

"Baby, please." You heard him whisper.

"Please, what, Buck?"

"Please, stop teasing me. I need you, now." He was looking at you, and his pupils were so dilated, you could barely see his beautiful blue eyes.

You lined his cock up with your entrance and sank on him, both of you moaning when he was fully inside of you.

"Jesus Christ, doll. You're so tight. And warm."

You put your hands on his chest and started moving up and down on him, slowly at first. He was squeezing your thighs and hips, helping you move.

"Shit! Oh, fuck!" You were bouncing on him now, and he was thrusting up to meet your hips. He was gripping your hips tightly. You started to bounce up and down, and your hands were on his chest. "You feel so good, Buck. You're stretching me out so well."

"Yeah? You're riding me like a champ, baby." He was breathing hard and grunting every time he was slamming into you.

"Ahh, Bucky, yes!" You were biting your lips and throwing your head back, and Bucky was thrusting up.

"Mmm, you like that, sweetheart?"

"Yes! Harder!" You closed your eyes, he felt so good inside you.

"Look at me, baby. Look at me, while I'm fucking you."

You opened your eyes and you were bouncing faster, and he was thrusting his hips faster, too. He was hitting your g-spot and you were getting closer to your orgasm. You were squeezing his biceps. "I've been waiting to fuck you properly since our last time. Couldn't wait to make you scream my name, doll."

"Then do it, make me scream, Buck"

"I will, doll. I promise." You were slamming into each other now, both of you close. You felt his finger touching your clit. "Ahh, you look so pretty when you're riding me, doll. Look at you. So fucking perfect. You're gonna make me cum."

He was looking at you with lust in his eyes. You grabbed his metal arm and sucked on his fingers. You started to suck harder, and you moaned.

He started thrusting harder and faster, the bed was hitting the wall. His hand went to your clit and he started rubbing fast. His other hand kneaded your breasts. You moved even faster and you were getting close, "Buck, you're so good. I'm close."

"I know, I can feel it. You’re doing so good for me, doll. Fuck, doll. Can I come inside you? Please?"

"Yes! Yes, please, come inside me, Buck."

You were screaming his name and digging your nails to his chest. His hand left your breast and was gripping your hips hard. You knew it was going to leave bruises. You were bouncing faster and your orgasm hit you like a truck.

"Oh god, Bucky!" You screamed his name and collapsed on his chest.

"I'm gonna fill your tight pussy up, baby."

"Please, Buck, please."

"FUCK! Y/N! Take it all, baby. Take it." He was filling you up, and you could feel him twitching inside of you.

"Yes! That's it. Fill me up, Buck."

"Jesus." You were both panting and trying to catch your breath. You were resting your head on his chest, and you could hear his heartbeat. He then flipped you over, so you were under him. You felt him that he was still hard, and he was looking at you with a grin. "Can you handle another round, doll? Or are you too tired?"

You smirked and raised your eyebrow. "Are you challenging me, Barnes?"

"Maybe."

"Let's see how long you can keep up, sergeant."

"I can do this all night, doll. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm just getting started."

"Good, 'cause I'm not finished with you yet." He smirked and moved over you.

"You're in for a wild ride, Barnes."

"Bring it on, doll." He pulled your legs and you were in a mating press position, with him towering over you.

"Show me what you've got, soldier."

"Oh, I'll show you." He pulled your legs and you were in a mating press position. He was teasing you with his tip and you were moaning loudly. You were already so sensitive, you were ready to cum again.

"Tell me you want it."

"Yes. I want it! I want you, Bucky."

"Beg me, doll."

"Please. I beg you, please fuck me."

"Who owns you?"

"You do. Only you!"

"Good girl." With that, he entered inside you in a swift motion and buried himself to the hilt and you screamed. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, and make you forget everything."

He was holding your legs and spreading them more. You were a moaning mess underneath him. He pounded into you so hard, and you were gripping the sheets. Your orgasm was approaching and he was holding your hips hard. You were sure he was going to leave a mark.

"You're not gonna walk after I'm done with you." He was thrusting faster and harder. You were a mess, you were sweating and panting. He was rubbing your clit and pumping into you. He was kissing your neck and you were screaming his name.

Then, he was thrusting fast and rough, and kissing your face. He was nipping your neck and biting. You were leaving marks on his back, and he was gripping your hips.

The way he thrusts his hips, it was like he was a fucking machine. He was a man of his word, and you weren't going to walk tomorrow. He was grunting and groaning and kissing your neck.

He was now pounding so hard into you, and your breasts were bouncing. "You love when I fuck you, don't you?"

"Yes, Bucky. Yes, I do. You're stretching me out so good, Bucky. Don't stop."

"Oh, I'll fuck you until the morning, baby." He was now fucking into your g-spot and his vibranium hand was rubbing your clit.

"Fuck! Bucky, I'm gonna come again!"

"Cum for me, doll. Be a good girl."

"Fuck, Bucky." He gave few more thrusts, and you were seeing stars. You were coming hard and screaming his name.

You were both panting, and Bucky was trying to catch his breath. "Holy shit, doll."

"Yeah, that was amazing."

He lifted his head, and looked at you. "Was? I'm not done, yet."

"What?! Bucky, we can't do it anymore. I already came three times. I can't go again."

"Awww, is my little kitten too sensitive, huh?" He teased you as he lightly slapped your pussy making you yelp.

"Stop it." You said, still sensitive, “Please…”

"Well, we're just getting started. I meant when I said I'm going to fuck you until the sun rises." He flipped you over and he was kissing your back. "Your body is so perfect, baby."

His hands were rubbing and squeezing your ass cheeks. "I want to take you from behind, baby. Can I do that? I want to see that pretty little ass.”

"Mmmmm, fine."

He slapped your ass and you moaned. "Such a good little kitten." He slapped your ass a couple more times, and you moaned. "Now, I'm gonna make you purr like a kitten."

He grabbed a handful of your ass and spread your cheeks. He was teasing you with his tip, and you were pushing your ass against him. "Such a horny kitten, you are." He slowly pushed his cock into you, and you were moaning. He grabbed your hips and started to thrust. He was fucking you slow and deep. But then, he was moving his hips faster.

You were lying on your stomach, and Bucky was pounding into you hard and fast. You were screaming his name. "You're all mine, baby."

He gripped your hair yanking you into pulling you into a kiss. You opened your mouth and his tongue slid in. He explored every inch of your mouth. Your tongues wrestled for dominance, and he won.

"That's it, doll." He was fucking you so hard, he was slapping your ass, and was holding your hips. His dick was hitting all the right spots. You were a moaning mess, you couldn't form words. He was fucking you hard and fast.

The slapping noises were getting louder and the bed was squeaking. His hands started to pinch your nipples making you scream his name, the pleasure was too intense. "I'm close, baby. Let's cum together."

He then continued pounding and you could feel his dick twitch inside. He was grunting and panting. “FUCK, Y/N!” He then came, filling you up. His cum was dripping out of your pussy. He was still inside you, riding out his high.

He pulled out of you but then you noticed he was still hard. "Buck, how are you hard again?!"

He chuckled, "You're the one who made me like this."

You were mesmerized by his stamina but also scared at the same time. He got in between your legs and kissed you passionately. He was kissing down your body and leaving a trail of wet kisses.

“Fuck… Ah… Bucky I can’t… Not anymore.” You were so sensitive and spent, you have came so many times.

"Your moans say otherwise, doll." He grinned as he took his cock and lined it to your entrance and entered you without warning once again. You screamed and gripped his biceps.

He was thrusting his hips faster and hitting your g-spot. You were both moaning loudly, and saying each other's names. "You're taking me so well, sweetheart." You were a sweaty mess and Bucky was gripping your hips.

He was pounding into you and he was so big, it felt like you were being ripped apart. But, you loved the pain. You were scratching his back and leaving marks. You were both leaving bruises on each other's body.

"Fuck, Bucky. Ah, yes!" He was pounding into you and you were moaning loudly.

"That's it, doll. Moan for me."

He was thrusting deeper and harder. Your hands were roaming around his body. You were touching and squeezing every part of him. You cried out as he increased his speed. "Fuck Bucky i can't..." you couldn't come anymore, you were overstimulated.

"Yes you can doll, I know you can." He rubbed your clit faster with now his teeth bit your nipple, “Fucking give it to me, doll.”

You cried out and came all over his cock. "That's my good little kitten." He praised.

But he wasn't done with you yet. You felt so much pleasure and pain, but it felt so good. Bucky thrusted faster and harder, his thrusts were deep. He slammed into you and started thrusting even faster and deeper.

"Shit. Bucky, ahh..." You gasped when his hand found your neck and he squeezed. His grip tightened and he began pounding you harder. You were moaning his name over and over again. You could feel every inch of his thick, long dick, and it was filling you so good.

He then leaned down and was fucking you deep. His metal arm was wrapped around your waist and the other one was choking you. He was sucking and licking your breasts. You were moaning uncontrollably. "Fuck, I'm so close. Let's come together, come to me one more time."

"I can't, Bucky! It's too much." You whimpered. “Please, no more.” You were begging him, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“You can do it doll. Show me what a good girl you are.” He pounded to you faster, his thrusts becoming erratic as he pistoning you in and out.

You were a sweating mess and you couldn't form a coherent sentence. "Holy shit, oh my god, ahhh, fffuck, ahh, ah, mhh, ohh, shit."

You gripped the sheets and screamed his name and you were shaking uncontrollably. Your vision went white and your ears rang. You felt your body go limp. You couldn't move. Your body was overstimulated and tired.

Bucky continued thrusting and you felt him twitch inside you. You both cried out each other's names as you came together. Bucky got off you and laid next to you, pulling you close to him.

You felt so sleepy afterwards, you were spent. He then cleaned you both up before he snuggled with you. "How are you feeling, baby?" He asked.

"Like I can't feel my legs."

He kissed the top of your head and laughed. "Sorry about that, doll."

You chuckled. "Don't apologize. That was the best sex I've ever had."

He held you close and kissed you deeply. You ran your fingers through his hair and he cupped your cheek. As you laid there with him, “I’m sorry Bucky for what I did to you back then on the gym, I took advantage of you… I-“

Bucky stopped you with kissing you. “I know doll, you don’t have to apologize. Like you said, we both hurt each other. Let’s not from now on okay? I promise I’ll be the best version of myself and no more hiding from you.”

You smiled at him, “I would like that.”

Bucky then kissed your forehead, “I love you, Y/N.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, he said it again, “I freaking love you. I've fallen for you ever since the day you helped me out at the hospital and you didn't judge me, you treated me with nothing but respect when I treated you horribly. You have a heart of gold and I'm just glad I was able to finally tell you my feelings. I'm sorry for the way I treated you before, I was just scared to let you in but now I want you in my life, you make me feel safe and loved."

He cupped your cheeks, "Please stay with me. Don't let go of me. I'm begging you to be mine, just mine. Only mine. And I will give my whole life for you, just to be with you, to make up for the time we lost. You are all that I want and all that I need. You are the one for me. If I can't be with you, I don't want to be with anyone else. Please let me take care of you and treat you like the angel you are."

He leaned down and pressed his lips on yours as he whispered, "Be mine and no one else's. Please..."

You felt tears in your eyes, this time it was tears of happiness. "Yes...yes Bucky...I'll be yours. I'm all yours." You went to kissed him but soon the kiss deepened. You moved on top of him as he squeezed your ass and you grinded against him.

Bucky broke the kiss and groaned, "Doll, we have to stop." He put his hands on your waist, trying to slow your movements. Bucky bit his bottom lip. "Or I’m going to get blue balls for the rest of the night."

Your eyes went to his cock seeing it starting to get hard once more. You chuckled and got off him. Bucky laid on his side as you snuggled next to him, "You're right."

Bucky kissed the top of your head, "Thank you, doll. Thank you for loving me. For being my girl and only mine."

"You are welcome, and thank you, for making me yours." You snuggled close to him.

He pulled you closer and caressed your cheeks, "You are perfect, just perfect."

He pulled the sheets over you, so you didn't get cold. You yawned and closed your eyes as you held Bucky's hand and drifted off to sleep. "Sleep well, baby."

You smiled, “Good night, Bucky.”

You were happy, and he was happy. This was all you ever wanted, and it seemed like everything was going well.

But, you still have a problem, a big one. Your friends and the Avengers. They would definitely freak out.

—— FIN ——

Thank you immensely for supporting this series! Your encouragement means a lot. Although I might not be very active here, your comments always bring a smile to my face. I hope you'll stick around for my upcoming projects!

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#bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel x reader #bucky barnes angst #groveling #jealous!bucky #bucky one shot #bucky an asshole

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onceuponastory · 1 year

Text

protective - bucky barnes x reader

Plot: Bucky gets protective over Y/N during a mission. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: A guy being creepy, reader being slightly uncomfortable and Bucky wanting to fight the guy. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: This is very loosely based on El Tango De Roxanne from Moulin Rouge because I love that scene & that song. Also I was thinking about a Moulin Rouge AU so lemme know your thoughts. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own. Thank you to @staticscreenwriting for my divider!

“I don’t like this.” Bucky hisses, throwing a hard stare across the room. Nervously, he taps his feet. Although, when he sees Y/N standing there, leaning against the bar as she sips from her drink, his face softens ever so slightly, and a small smile grows on his face. But once he remembers what they’re doing here, his hard stare returns. He really doesn’t like this. Not one bit.

“Don’t worry Buck. She’s got this.” Steve’s voice crackles over the headset. “Besides, she has a wire on, so we’ll be able to hear everything, and we can step in if we need to.” Despite how his words are trying to be supportive, Bucky doesn’t feel comforted at all by his words.

Tonight, they’re on another mission, ready to stop some corrupt agent intent on causing chaos. And Y/N was sent undercover to charm him and try to extract information because she’s not as publicly known as the other Avengers. It’s not the first time Y/N’s done something like this, but this time, Bucky hates the thought of sending her out there alone. From what Bucky’s heard, despite the man’s kind facade, he’s extremely cruel when he needs to be, and he has no issue with stepping on people to get what he wants. And no doubt he would do just the same to Y/N if she ever got in his way. Despite how experienced she is, the thought of Y/N stuck there with him alone makes his stomach churn.

“Sam, do you have visuals on Y/N?”

“Yes, Bucky. I did the first time you asked, and I still do now.” Before Bucky even asks his next question, Sam answers it. “Yes, I’m keeping an eye on her.”

“Good.”

Bucky knows his two best friends are worried about Y/N too, but he also knows that they think he’s overreacting slightly that Y/N is going to be perfectly safe. Bucky just hopes they’re right. Y/N is incredibly skilled at going undercover, and there’s no doubt she’ll do just as well today and get the information they need. It’s just that Bucky cares too much about her to let her go into these dangerous situations alone. At least not without her knowing that he’s there on the other end if she needs him. He’s been in love with her for as long as he can remember, and the last thing he wants is for her to be put in danger. His gaze goes back to Y/N, and he sighs. She looks gorgeous tonight, dressed to the nines. But that’s not too difficult. To Bucky, Y/N always looks gorgeous. Maybe one day he’ll actually find the guts to tell her the truth, instead of standing here all forlorn and lovesick, as Sam and Steve call it.

“Showtime.” Sam whispers, cutting through his thoughts. Bucky watches as the man enters the room, making a beeline straight to the bar. Y/N notices him too, and makes a point of brushing up against him slightly as she requests another drink. The man looks over her, pointedly staring at her chest and her ass. Bucky’s jaw clenches.

“Let me get that.” The man grins, placing his hand on Y/N’s wrist and reaching out with his card before Y/N can do anything. “Can’t let a pretty girl like you pay for your own drink now, can I?” Bucky suppresses a desire to vomit. Creep.

“Thank you.” Y/N smiles, batting her eyelashes slightly. The sight makes Bucky’s stomach flutter, the same way it usually does when he sees Y/N. Sometimes, Bucky likes to imagine that Y/N’s flirting is for him, and that she feels the same way he does for her. But for real this time.

As Y/N and the man find a table and start chatting, Bucky continues to watch, hating every moment. The way the man leers at her, a sick smirk on his face the entire time, makes Bucky’s stomach churn even more. He knows what assholes like him do, and he hates every part of it.

“Can you cool it with the glare, Buck? I’m not even in the same room as you and I can feel it burning through the wall.” Bucky ignores Sam’s comment and instead works through an action plan. A way to rescue Y/N in case she needs help. As he does so, he keeps a cautious eye on the pair, just in case. As she laughs along with the man, Bucky can pick up on the awkwardness in her laugh. He swears the noise makes his stomach twist. When the man presses a kiss to her cheek and a small flicker of unease crosses Y/N’s face, Bucky swears his heart almost stops.

In a moment, he jumps up, ready to charge in, to peel the man’s arms off of Y/N and drag him away from her. But before he can, Y/N takes control once more, changing the subject. Yet still, Bucky keeps a wary eye on the man. He flexes his metal arm, ensuring he’s ready to jump in and protect Y/N.

Whatever the cost.

Thankfully though, only a few hours later (albeit longer than Bucky would’ve liked), the agent suddenly has to leave, bringing the mission to a halt. And soon, Y/N is back safe and sound in the compound with the others.

“Well done Y/N.” Steve praises, and Sam nods.

“Yeah. Great job.” Bucky murmurs, his tone causing Y/N to raise a brow.

“Guys, can I speak to Bucky alone for a moment, please?” she asks. Glancing at each other, Steve and Sam nod and leave the room. “So. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” he shrugs. Scoffing, Y/N rolls her eyes.

“Bucky, there’s no point in lying. I know you.” She’s right, she does know him really well. Sometimes, Bucky swears that Y/N knows him better than anyone else. Even better than Steve. There’s no way he could even try to hide his feelings from her. “And besides, you were staring daggers out the window the whole ride back. Now, tell me what the problem is.”

“I just… when you were with that guy, I was worried about you, okay?!”

“Aww Bucky, you really do care about me!” she grins, giggling like it’s just a joke. But little does she know, Bucky doesn’t see it that way.

“I do care about you! Fuck Y/N, I care about you more than anything in this world, and the thought of that… that sicko being anywhere near you, o-or laying his hands on you makes me feel sick!” He exclaims, the words slipping out without another thought. “I know how good you are at going undercover, but the last thing I want is you getting hurt.” Y/N’s eyes widen.

“Oh… oh.” As silence falls amongst the pair, Bucky’s heart pounds. Why did it all have to slip out like that? Maybe keeping it in for so long has finally taken its toll. Y/N stares back at him, still silent. Bucky blushes, his cheeks turning scarlet. Now he looks like an idiot. A total lovesick idiot.

“I’ll, um. I’ll go.”

“No, wait.” Y/N stops him as he starts to leave, reaching out and touching his arm. “I-I never knew you felt that way about me, Bucky. Thank you.” she smiles, and Bucky nods.

“Y/N, I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember.” he admits, chuckling slightly. “You’re very special to me, Y/N.”

“And you’re special to me too, Buck. I’m so glad to have someone like you looking out for me.” Before Bucky can even respond, she presses a kiss to his cheek, his stubble lightly grazing against her lips. This almost sends Bucky’s heart into overdrive, and he swears his skin tingles from where she kissed him. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, and I had no idea you felt the same way about me.” she whispers, her words making Bucky’s mouth drop open. “I need to go type out my mission report, but maybe we can grab dinner afterwards? I think we have a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.” Bucky nods. And then she heads down the hallway, waving goodbye. Even after she disappears from sight, Bucky still stares down the hall. He cups his cheek, still feeling it burn from when she kissed him. Still dumbstruck at how Y/N likes him back. A goofy grin overtakes his face.

Despite how badly tonight started, he’s never been as happy as he is right now.

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chxrrybcmbs · 5 months

Text

Pas de Deux

Summary: You and Bucky find solace in each others shared experiences. (Bucky x Female Reader) Warnings: 18+ smut and mentions of brainwashing Note: I do not give permission for my work to copied or translated anywhere but this blog. Word Count: 1.9k

Bucky stalked alone back to his quarters of the compound. Stark had thrown another party and he’d sat through it begrudgingly. Tucked away in the corner with a drink clutched in his hand like a security blanket. Steve had thought it would be good for him to be around others but it only made him feel more alone. He wasn’t like everyone else, especially not Steve. He wasn’t adjusting as well to the transition as Steve had. He was still fighting Hyrdra’s manipulation and trying to keep his head above water. Something Steve or the others would never understand. Bucky didn’t fault them for that. They we’re trying their best but their best wasn’t working for him.

With his hands tucked firmly in his pockets, he entered the common area and was intending to keep on his path across the way to his room when he heard faint music. The lights were out and he didn’t see anyone around but the unmistakable sound of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake wafted through the room like a ghostly waltz. He moved further into the common area thinking the music was coming from someone leaving a radio on but there was no one around. Then he realized, it wasn’t coming from the common area but the room above it. When he entered the stairwell the music was clearer and as he ascended the stairs it became louder.

The floor above the common area was just an empty room, it was used for various reasons. Meditations, yoga sessions or just a place to be away from everyone in total quiet. As Bucky entered the room, the lights were dim but there you were dancing across the floor. In the pointe shoes that had been your only request from Tony when you agreed to stay at the compound. He had thought it an odd request but it was important to you. You were so lost in the music at first, you hadn’t noticed Bucky watching you with awe. With a heaving chest you turned the music down,

“Hello, Barnes.” You said without turning to see him collect himself after being caught.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you.” He apologized. You reached for the little towel on the stool where the speaker was and wiped the sweat from your face and neck.

“You didn’t.” You turned around to look at him. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his jacket and he averted his gaze in embarrassment.

“Shouldn’t you be down at the party with everyone?” You asked, tossing the towel back onto the stool. He looked up at you briefly before looking back to his shoes,

“Yeah, I was for a bit. Not really my thing.”

“Is your thing sneaking into rooms and watching women dance?” You smirked and his face flushed a little.

“I heard the music and-I’’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.” He turned and opened the door to leave,

“Wait, I didn’t mean for you to go.” He stopped and looked back at you.

“You like Tchaikovsky?” You asked, he took his hand off the door and stepped back into the room.

“I don’t know, I haven’t really spent a lot of time listening to music.” He replied.

“Oh.” You nodded.

“But you-you like to dance?” He stuttered and you smiled.

“I don’t know why but it keeps me sane. Even though I was never a ballerina, something about it makes me feel at ease.” You answered, he furrowed his brows.

“Never a ballerina? Could’ve fooled me.” He joked.

“Yeah, when Hydra plants false memories of being a ballerina into you for years, you cling on to the only good memories, y’know?”

Bucky’s face fell,

“Hydra? You mean?” You could see the confusion written on his face mixed with the pain. You knew Hydra had had their way with him too. You nodded.

“You didn’t know?” He shook his head, Steve had kept this from him. They all did, When you had been recruited, he was told you were just an ex spy that defected and S.H.E.I.L.D took you in. A moment of silence passed,

“How do you cope with it?” You started, “All the memories, real and fake.”

He took his hands from his pockets, he looked down at his left hand that had a black leather glove on.

“I don’t know.” He muttered. Slowly, you walked towards him. Closing the space between you, you reached for his left hand and he pulled it back. You looked up into his blue eyes, swirling with unspeakable pain.

“I’m not afraid of you.” You reached for his hand again and he let you. You took off the leather glove revealing the silver metal. You traced your fingers across his palm, enjoying the chill of it. Bucky was tense and he wasn’t quite sure what was going on but he didn’t feel like running. For the first time there was someone else who knew what it was like. To have been manipulated and controlled.

“Come.” You took his hand and guided him to stand in the center of the room.

“Take off your coat.” You ordered, and he nervously obliged. You stepped over to the speaker and turned the music on once again.

“I-I don’t know how to dance. I can’t-“ He made a gesture to himself as he tossed his coat aside.

“You don’t need to dance. Just-“ You gripped his hands and guided them to your waist. “Lift me when I say to.” He looked into your eyes, as if looking for reassurance which you gave with a subtle nod. Slowly you propped yourself up on your toes and began to spin, his hands anchoring you at the waist. You stretched your arms up to the ceiling, moving your fingers to daintily. With your back facing him and your arms still in the air,

“Now.” You whispered and you felt the squeeze of his hands against your body. He lifted you up his and you kicked your legs out. He set you down and you commanded,

“Again.” Up you went, moving your legs and arms into an elegant pose.

“One more time, this time set me down slow.” Into the air once again, you threw your arms up over your head and spread out your legs, you turned your head to face him. Your noses barely inches from each other. Gently, Bucky began lowering you. Your bodies pressed against each other, you could feel his heart beating against your back. When your feet touched the ground you turned to look up at him, placing both hands on his chest. His hands still lingering on your waist. He wasn’t even aware of himself anymore, it was like something else took over. The man in him that desperately needed human contact, affection, intimacy. All things he had been deprived of for decades.

It was similar for you, being a covert spy with mixed up concepts of self didn’t aid in the dating pool. Here it was, two people so desperate for affection, so terrified of putting their faith in others.

“How long has it been?” The question was bold but you knew your next move would be even bolder.

“Since what?” He asked, his voice was breathless at the proximity of you. His forhead just barely grazing yours as he looked down at you, dark strands of his hair forming a shield to the outside world. You snaked your hand up from his chest around to settle on the back of his neck, he twitched at the touch.

“Since you kissed a woman?” You pressed your lips to his before letting him answer. His breath caught in his throat and you felt his lips tremble ever so slightly against your own. You pulled away but not too far, still close enough to ghost your lips across his own.

“Since 1943.” He whispered before initiating another kiss. He kissed you with confidence and his hands roamed your body freely. His flesh hand came up to cup your head while his metal one pulled you flush against him.You deepened the kiss, your tongue colliding with his. For someone who hadn’t kissed in 70 years he was doing very well. You could feel the heat starting to emanate from between your legs and the sign of his obvious arousal pressed against your front. Breaking the kiss, you brought your hand down to caress his cheek and he softly brushed a strand of hair from your face.

“If we do this there won’t be any turning back.” You said, he smiled and let out a small chuckle.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have followed that music.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” He confessed, and you felt your heart break. You felt the same.

“Then lets be alone together.” You guided his lips to yours again, simultaneously pulling down the sweats you were wearing. He started fumbling with the clasp of his pants which you made quick work of, he kicked them off and they slid somewhere across the floor. His metal hand was ice to your skin as he helped you pull down your panties. For a moment you stood there, naked and taking in each others appearance. His chiseled abs, the uneven skin around the flesh that connected to his metal arm. And when you came back together, your back crashing against the wall, his arms hoisting you up to wrap your legs around his torso. It felt like the stars aligned, like the universe was created in that very room with the two of you at its center.

Your hands raked through his hair, grabbing and tugging at it. He held you as you positioned yourself to take in his length. A wordless glance before he thrusted in, audible gasps left both your mouths at the shock of it. You reveled in it, breathing heavily against each other before he started. A slow, smooth rhythm but each beat felt like heaven. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, the soft moans of his adding to your own pleasure. You let your head fall back against the wall, your hands dragging down his back. Feeling the muscles move as he continued his pace. He lifted his head up to look at you and you kissed his swollen lips fiercely, drinking in every moan and sigh like it was sweet honey spilling into your mouth.

You felt him start to tense and twitch and his breathing became more ragged, as did your own. With foreheads pressed together, you each met your ends with breathless moans. Gently, he set you back down onto your feet and you noticed you were still in your pointe shoes. You couldn’t help but laugh and he along with you. Bodies glistening with sweat and the room steaming from the encounter, you gathered up the clothes scattered on the floor.

“I’m not sure that is what Stark intended for this room.” You joked and Bucky smirked, as he fastened the clasp of his pants. He looked over at you and you met his gaze, both of you thinking the same. Grateful for the intimacy, the unspoken understanding now between you.

“What Stark doesn’t know won’t kill him.” Bucky commented, you finally took off your pointe shoes and held them by the ribbon, letting them swing beside you as you walked closer to Bucky.

“I could always use a dance partner, Barnes.” You said, and he smiled shyly. Neither of you were quite sure what this was or what it would become but maybe it could help you both on your path to heal from your pasts. No one else here or anywhere could ever understand what it was like.

“Anytime, doll.”

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writing-for-marvel · 1 year

Text

Everyone’s Watching Him (But He’s Looking At Her) (5)

Actor!Bucky Barnes x Assistant!Fem!Reader

< < PART 4 | Series Masterlist

Summary: After learning Maria lied to keep the two of you apart, Bucky confronts her about her future as his manager, but only after experiencing waking up in the same bed with you for the first time.

Warnings: argument between Bucky and Maria, someone losing their job, soft fluff at the start, implied carnal activities the night before

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: @povlvr @fandoms-writings @jenzzyuk @koolerthanice-tea @buckylattes and @stuckysbike all wanted to see what happens between Bucky and Maria so here’s this little addition to the series. Photo credit by @marvelousell & banners by @vase-of-lilies

Main Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Taglist | Library

Bucky stares down at your sleeping form, thinking to himself that you look far too sweet and precious for the likes of him to ever deserve.

Not that he’s been a bad person who’s warranted terrible, karmic things to happen to him, but surely to deserve someone as beautiful, attentive and caring as you to reciprocate his ardent feelings, he must have been a saint in a past life.

Your eyes flutter open and Bucky swears his heart completely stops just by the simple act of you looking at him. There’s a moment where you look surprised to see yourself waking up cuddled into his side, but then he can see the realisation play out in your eyes as the recollection of last night's carnal activities come back to you.

“Hi.” You whisper bashfully, lips curling into the type of fond smile he wishes he could capture and keep a copy of in his wallet until it’s faded with time.

There’s an odd surge of jealousy in Bucky’s stomach at the thought that anyone else has had the privilege of sharing such an intimate and vulnerable moment with you. Witnessing you in the first light of the morning, feeling your bare skin against his, being the first thing you see when you open your still drowsy eyes.

But then his mind reminds him that he’s the only one who has that honour now, that the most precious person in his life has chosen him, affording him the assurance of being the one you will wake up beside every morning, and Bucky makes a promise to himself to never take that for granted.

“Good morning, my love.” Bucky hoarsely mumbles, leaning down to gently place his lips on yours, an action he has only been able to perform for the last half a day, yet he already knows will never tire of doing.

Though you’re both still half asleep and your lips move languidly, it’s his favourite kiss you’ve shared so far (though he thinks that every time your lips touch his). It’s the first kiss of a new day, the first day where you’re waking up as something far more than just his assistant, and proves that everything that happened the night before wasn’t something out of a dream.

Bucky rues pulling his lips away from yours, though it does allow him the opportunity to gaze at your gorgeous features once more. Last night was ample evidence that there will never be a more blissful feeling than when the two of you are joined as one, but he also knows if he goes any further with you right now, he’ll be so caught up in you that he’ll miss the last of the interviews held today he’s contracted to complete.

“Doll, I need to ask you a favour.”

“Anything for you Buck.” You say without hesitation and a smile which makes Bucky’s stomach flip. You don’t even know what aid he’s requesting and you’re already accepting. The implicit trust in the gesture has his chest filling with warmth.

“Can you stay here at home today? For me.” He adds on.

“But todays the last day of interviews… You don’t want me there?” Bucky’s heart sinks at the thought that you don’t know your presence is what sustains him. If it were purely up to him, you’d never leave his sight nor touch so much as for a single minute.

But he reminds himself he’s doing this for your benefit, not his own.

“Baby, I want you with me everywhere I go,” he pauses to quickly kiss you again, for emphasis, “but I have to honour the film contract Maria wrote up, which means I still have to pretend to be Sharon’s doting boyfriend for the rest of the day, I don’t want you to have to sit through all that. Plus, you’ve been working so hard, you deserve some time off.” You don’t say anything, but flash him a thankful smile, which is enough reward to get him through the entire day without you.

“And then, when you come home, you’ll be all mine.” You comment with a cheeky smile he knows implies much more lascivious wants than the innocent words would suggest on their own.

“I’m already all yours.” Bucky kisses you again, partly because he wants to convey how sincerely he means the statement, but mostly because he simply can’t get enough of you. “In all the ways that matter.”

Even though he risks being late for hair and makeup before another day of interviews, Bucky finds that when his lips touch yours he doesn’t care about anything else in the world. This pure happiness and contentment is what he’s been searching for his entire life, what most people dream of finding with someone but few rarely get the pleasure of experiencing.

He’s not willing to risk what he hopes will be the remainder of his future with you. Anyone or anything posing a threat to that cannot remain in his life.

Mostly it was his own obliviousness to blame for not telling you sooner how his heart beats for you and that no amount of time on this earth will ever be enough to show you every intricacy of his adoration for you.

But there was one other external force that had adversely impacted on your relationship, almost driving you apart completely. And Bucky will never allow her to come between him and what he holds dear again.

Before he leaves for the studio that morning, he makes the executive decision that Maria has to be let go.

* * *

The set is as busy as usual. What feels like a million different crew members are bustling around to make sure everything is running smoothly, and when the cameras aren’t rolling, the sounds of numerous voices speaking over each other makes Bucky feel like he’s audibly drowning.

All he wants is to look up and find relief in your smiling face, settling the tornado of anxiety raging in his chest, but every time he answers a question regarding his supposed relationship with Sharon, whilst interlocking his hand with hers, it’s a jarring reminder of why he asked you to stay at home.

During a break between one of the last interviews, Bucky notices Maria isn’t on the phone, a rare occurrence for her, and takes the opportunity he’s been waiting all day for. The memory of the hurt and confusion on your face when Bucky revealed his feelings, which were in contrast to what Maria had communicated to you, spurs him on.

“Maria, I need a word.” Stern determination fills Bucky’s voice and leaves no room for debate.

He storms away towards his dressing room, wanting some privacy so the uncomfortable conversation isn’t witnessed by the hoard of people working on set.

“I need you to explain to me why you lied about Sharon and I being a real couple.” Is what he says once Maria shuts the door behind her. Either she isn’t surprised by the revelation, or she’s practised enough to know how to hide it.

“Look, Bucky, I never said a real couple. I can’t help it if certain people interpret things in a different way to what I was intending.” Certain people. Bucky internally scoffs. She can’t even say your name, nor admit fault, when she’s unquestionably been caught in a lie.

“Don’t play innocent with me Maria. I know what you said and I have a feeling I know why you did it too, but I want to hear it from you, because the part of me that has been your friend for over five years simply cannot believe you’d be that manipulative.” Maria simply smiles, almost as if Bucky had given her a compliment, and it makes rage burn like hot coals in his stomach.

“I’m your manager Bucky, my job is to make decisions on your behalf that are going to benefit your career. Dating an insignificant assistant isn’t going to do anything for you other than push you down the road to irrelevancy.”

Bucky has the urge to scream at her for the way she’s speaking about you.

“Did you not for a minute think about what was best for me as a person? I think you could see how in love with her I am and yet you chose to do it anyway!” The only reason Maria would have pushed the two of you apart would be if she could see the connection you had. Her nonchalant reaction all but confirms his suspicions.

“Look it was only meant to be until the movie had become a success, and clearly it worked! If you look at the box office numbers-”

“I don’t care about the fucking numbers Maria, I care about my girl! And you’ll never have the chance to come between us again. You’re fired.” The normal anxiety anyone would feel when letting someone go from their job is overruled by the resolve provided by the need to protect you with everything he has.

“You’re really going to fire your loyal manager because of some girl you’re probably going to get tired of in two months?”

“Without hesitation. And I will never get tired of her Maria, I love her, with my entire being. It actually scares me how much I love her because it means my entire life is reserved in a single person, but if the only thing I ever accomplish in the rest of my days is loving and cherishing her, then it will be the most rewarding life I could have lived. My career means nothing if I don’t have her by my side, and that’s clearly not something you can comprehend.” Maria looks unfazed at Bucky’s disclosure and it makes him wonder if all those feelings really are plainly obvious when he looks at you. His sister certainly seems to think so.

“You do realise if you fire me you also fire her right? She’s employed by my management firm, not by you directly. Are you really going to do that to her?” Bucky is sure the smirk on her face indicates Maria thinks she’s found a loophole which will prevent him from following through with her dismissal, but he clearly knows something she doesn’t.

“Check your inbox, her letter of resignation will already be there.” At Bucky’s words a crack forms in her overconfident facade, a surprised comprehension seeping through which allows Bucky to feel greatly pleased with himself. “Goodbye and good riddance Maria.”

Before allowing Maria the time to protest again, or come up with a concoction of manipulative lies, Bucky turns around and walks back to set, a triumphant smirk curving on his lips.

Now, he only needs to endure a couple more interviews before he gets to return home to you, where he left his heart this morning for you to take care of until he can finally be free of the fraudulent relationship.

After a day of pretending to be someone else’s boyfriend, he’ll finally get the opportunity to go home and prove to you how much he loves you, and only you.

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Everyone’s Watching Him (But He’s Looking At Her) [Actor!Bucky Barnes] Taglist: @sunnyjane4 @valhalla-kristin @learisa @crispysublimecupcake @iamfandomwasted @blackwidownat2814 @hailey-holt @rosepetalsinwinter @wifeofbarnes @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @vicmc624 @oliviagreen99 @gabshouse @raging-panda @priya212 @highlyintelligentblonde @buckyseddie @erynnnn @endless-summer-soldier @one-shot-plus-size @takeabreathdearh @its703pm @nefelibatansoul @theweekndhistorybook @albinotigerpython @goldenharrysworld @buckyslove1917 @supersanelyromantic @gothkitteh @ahrahrahraha @hopelessromantic423 @misshale21 @happeevacationday @farfromjustordinary @blackgirlbydna @mrsgweasley @readreblogfics @ashenc-blog @redbarn1995 @thewackywriter @missvelvetsstuff @broadwaybabe18 @buckys2lut @arny-montana @calirindo @justfic @crazyunsexycool @helpishouldstudy @alluringsirensworld @sarahyk27 @aya-daydreams @hotleaf-juice

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orions-athenaeum · 1 year

Text

From Your Smile to Your Soul

Bucky Barnes x F!Enchanced!reader

Synopsis: You don't want to go on this mission and Bucky doesn't want the girl whose smile brings him happiness getting hurt. But what can either of you do when your job is to heal others? If only you had told him that you weren't ok, if only he had made sure you were right behind him.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: angst, language, drinking, mentions of guns/injury/blood, hypothermia, asshole SHIELD agents, Bucky gets teary eyed, happy fluff-filled ending...

-I do not consent to having any of my writing, under the username Orions- Athenaeum, translated, posted or published on third party sites, apps or platforms-

Bucky didn’t think there was anything worth enjoying in his new life. Of course he appreciated Steve’s unwavering loyalty and the ease that he brought Bucky after he was freed from Hydra. There was also Sam’s annoying banter which usually gave Bucky something to smirk about, but he would never admit that to anyone. When Bucky didn’t understand what a text message was, Wanda and Natasha helped him adapt to the technological wonders of this modern time. He was even glad when Tony would crack an “old joke” just to get under his skin, because Bucky knew humor was Tony’s way of showing he cared. While Bucky was grateful for everything his teammates did for him, there was still a very obvious void, that felt almost like a ten ton weight sitting on his chest, trying to steal his breath from him. That feeling of immense pressure and simultaneous emptiness only began to lessen about four months ago, on a balmy summer evening when Steve dragged Bucky to one of Tony’s lavish galas.

Bucky didn’t know who or what the event was for, in all honesty he figured Tony was just looking for another excuse to throw a party. The former Winter Soldier had been a part of the team for a while now, but these types of social gatherings never failed to make him feel extremely unsettled. Maybe it was the way he felt people’s eyes lingered on him for too long, whether it was from fear or judgment. Or maybe it was that the suit Natasha had helped him pick out was nearly suffocating him. It could have also been the glass filled with some unknown booze that felt uncomfortably heavy in his vibranium hand. All this to say, Bucky was certain the tension in his shoulders was palpable as he checked his watch for the thirtieth time that evening; he was waiting for the hands to tell him he had waited a respectful amount of time before he could seek out the comfort of his own room. Bucky reluctantly pulled his eyes up from his watch and began to scan the room, hoping to find Steve and with him some sense of calmness. His search was cut short when his gaze landed on a girl chatting with Peter near the bar. She had short y/h/c hair that reminded him of a girl from his own time, messier and not as curled perhaps, but classic nonetheless. Her long, black, strapless dress and sleek platform heels reminded him of something Natasha might have worn. He wondered for a second if maybe Nat had helped her pick out an outfit too. Deciding that was an utterly ridiculous thought a second later, Bucky found himself enamored by her smile. It was all he could focus on: that beautiful, perfect smile. One corner of her mouth curved up more than the other and her full red painted lips made it impossible for Bucky to look away. Seconds felt like hours and as Bucky continued to look at her, he found a smile involuntarily tugging at his own lips. Amazingly enough, he didn’t feel so out of place anymore.

“It’s rude to stare.” Bucky quickly jerked his head towards Sam’s voice. His smile immediately faded as he glared at his friend.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Wilson.” Even Bucky didn’t believe his words and chances were Sam didn’t either. Despite being a pain in the ass, he was smarter and more observant than Bucky liked to give him credit for. Sam rolled his eyes and ignored Bucky’s hint to drop the topic.

“Why don’t you go and ask her to dance?” Bucky couldn’t breathe. There was no way in hell he could do that. Standing across the room was the prettiest girl he’d seen and Sam thought it would be a good idea for him to ask her for a dance.

“Yeah that will not be happening.” Bucky tossed back the rest of the liquid in his glass, knowing that the pleasant burn of the alcohol would not affect him in the slightest. He wished it would. Maybe a little liquid courage was the push he needed to go over and speak to her.

“Look man, she’s gorgeous and really sweet, I met her this morning. All I’m saying is that she would totally say yes if you asked. She was staring at you too, by the way.” This morning. Bucky recalled Sam telling him he met a new member of the team earlier that morning. Maybe he would have the chance to see her again if she was the one Sam was referring to. Shaking his head to extinguish any false hope he had conjured up, Bucky realized that Sam was telling the truth; the girl was staring right back at him. After a few seconds, she raised her delicate fingers and sent a small wave. Bucky almost keeled over on the spot. Not knowing what else to do, he awkwardly raised his own hand back. She smiled. He smiled. And just like that Bucky knew he was a goner.

Four months later…

“No.” Bucky refused to change his mind. Steve rolled his eyes at his friend, who currently stood across the room with his arms crossed over his chest with a look that said, this is your final warning. Steve knew better than to try and push his best friend around, but this really was a mission that required her skills. There were dozens of hostages, and they would need medical attention. Not from doctors, but from her.

“Buck. You know I wouldn’t put Y/n in the field if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary.” Bucky did not move. Steve sighed. And people call me stubborn. He thought to himself.

“I understand that you want to protect her Bucky, I really do. But she is a part of this team. Y/n’s an Avenger and her role is to heal people. Now, there are people who need her help and she is going to go and help them. If you would prefer not to lead this mission than I can have someone else take-”

“No.” Bucky was quick to cut off Steve’s offer. His tone was firm, but just below the surface Bucky was panicking. He didn’t want his girl out in the field. But if Y/n had to go, he couldn’t stand the thought of not being out there with her. Steve raised a brow.

“I’ll go. But you better make sure there is no way we’re gonna get ambushed. We’d better be prepared. I won’t hesitate to beat your ass if something happens to Y/n.” Bucky turned to leave the conference room as Steve muttered something under his breath.

“What?” Bucky snapped.

“I just said it seems like you care about Y/n an awful lot when she isn’t even your girlfriend.” Bucky knew Steve was trying to get him to admit that he was too scared to ask her out. But honestly, Bucky wasn’t in the mood for his best friend to play matchmaker. So, without a look back, he stormed out into the corridor towards the gym. He was set on taking his anger and fear out on some punching bags, but as he walked through the halls all he could think about was her smile. He needed that smile safe. If he could just wrap it in his arms and shield it from all the bad, he would be happy for the rest of his life.

————————————————————————

You were certain there had to have been some kind of mistake. The thick Manila folder that sat on your desk marked “MISSION BRIEFING” had to have been delivered to the wrong room. Bucky was just across the hall, so maybe it was for him. That had to be it, because there was no way they were seriously considering putting you out in the field after only four months of being on the team. You weren’t even supposed to be a field agent. Nick Fury had recruited you because of your powers. Sure, you could mend a broken bone and fuse a gunshot wound close, but that did not mean you fought on the front lines. It meant you waited until your team was back to the safety of the compound to help them. Refusing to open the folder you picked it up and made your way to Bucky’s door.

“Buck?” You called as you knocked on the cool wood. You gasped as it opened not a second later. Bucky was standing in front of you in all his post gym, sweaty, shirtless glory.

“Hey, doll. What’s up?” He asked with a smirk tugging at his lips. That damned smirk. You immediately drew your gaze away from his tight abs and pretty smile up to his eyes. Which, honestly, didn't help because you found yourself getting lost in a sea of deep cerulean blue. It seemed that every aspect of Bucky had an overwhelming effect on you. Deciding it was best to stare at the carpet instead, you fumbled with the folder before showing it to him.

“I think they gave this to me by accident, because I’m not usually in the field. Actually I’ve never been in the field and so it’s probably yours and I just wanted to give it to you.” Your words came out all in one breath and you kept your gaze focused on the floor at your feet. You felt Bucky gently take the folder from your grasp. You were ready to let out a sigh of relief when you felt his fingers thread through your own as he lightly pulled you into his room. As your heart beat began to quicken, the brief confusion you had felt quickly morphed into anxiety. Why didn’t he just take his mission briefing and send you on your merry way? He gestured for you to sit down on his bed as he sat next to you.

“No, this is yours.” He finally said. The finality in his tone made you want to throw up. “Steve told me this morning. But I made him promise that there would be no combat, and I’ll be leading. There will be two other agents, so you’re not alone. The mission should be fairly quick, in and out and then we come home. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.” His words were somewhat of a comfort. You also knew that the rest of the team was fairly confident in your abilities, since Nat, Sam and Steve had all trained extensively with you over the last four months. Bucky refused to spar with you but that's besides the point. Although, you weren’t really worried about not being able to defend yourself. You had been trained and ran through mission scenarios, but the weight of the briefing envelope in your hands was making this too real. It also didn’t help that every single agent wanted to rip you apart because you were given a spot on the Avengers without making it into SHIELD as an agent. You had tried to put yourself through training, but during your first field test, you instantly choked. All of the sudden the gun pointed at the enemy agent in front of you made your arms feel like lead. Your brain wouldn’t let you pull the trigger, so you stood there, frozen. You were positive you were going to be removed from the program, but when Nick Fury heard about your healing powers, you were suddenly offered a spot as an Avenger. So, to put it plainly, every single SHIELD agent hated you. They hated that you failed training and still got the most coveted title, they hated that you lived in Avengers Tower, they hated that you got everything they wanted. The real problem, which was much bigger than any jealous agent’s spiteful remarks, was that you could not stomach the idea of hurting someone. That was the reason why you failed your training in the first place, because bad guy or not, you were given the gift of healing. You were never supposed to cause pain and it seemed as if the concept of harming someone was against your very nature. Pulling the trigger on a paper silhouette was one thing. Aiming a gun at another human being was quite another. So while the training you had done prepared you for taking down enemies, you’re not entirely sure you could bring yourself to that.

“Ok.” Was all you could manage. Some time during your internal spiral Bucky had begun rubbing soothing circles on your back. Bucky was another aspect of this assignment that you had to consider. You weren’t sure how to feel about him going on the mission with you. Your relationship was a little confusing at times to say the least. You knew that you cared about him more than a friend would and he often made it seem like he felt the same way. You had felt this way from the very first night you met him, when he caught you staring at him and you awkwardly waved (who the hell waves at a hot guy across the room?) Bucky was also the first one to make you feel like you were truly part of the team. He would bring your breakfast to the lab when you were working mornings and didn’t have time to eat, he would make sure you had a good spot on the couch for team movie nights (it was coincidentally always next to him) and then there were time like these where he would comfort you and do everything in his power to make you feel safe and cared for. Basically, in the four months that you had known him, you were falling in love with Bucky Barnes.

“Ok, what, doll?” And those stupid pet names definitely weren’t helping you keep your feelings at bay.

“Ok. Sounds good, I guess I’ll see you at the hangar in a few hours.” You replied, unwilling to meet his eyes, you slowly picked up the folder and walked towards his door. An unnerving feeling overcame you as you heard the heavy wood close behind you.

————————————————————————

You figured the mission would not be a walk in the park, and as you sat in the middle of Siberia, with two agents that hate you and hostages with far more injuries than Steve had anticipated, you knew this easily made your “Top Ten Worst Days list.” Of course you were more than happy to help every hostage, that was the only part you enjoyed. However, the amount of energy it took to heal so many injuries resulted in black dots clouding your vision by the time you had helped the last hostage. The thing about your healing abilities was that you had to use your energy to heal others. Meaning healing their injuries literally exhausts you. And on top of the twenty broken bones, abrasions and burns you’ve healed, Megan and Nick had a few bumps and bruises from breaking down the door and restraining the guards that needed mending. According to Megan, Bucky told them to go to you since they need to be in top shape for the trek back to the safe house. While the safe house sounded pleasant, the fact that it was currently 40 below and that the shelter was three miles out in the middle of a forest, was not as pleasant. After you finished healing Megan’s bruised ankle, the dizziness that had settled in a few minutes prior was now overwhelming. If you could just sit down for a few minutes and maybe close your eyes, you would feel much better.

“Get up. We need to meet Bucky in a few minutes. A storm is moving in so we can’t take the jet back until morning. Bucky secured the hostages in an exit raft and we need to find the safehouse soon.” Megan sneered as she pushed your hands away from her ankle.

“Could I just have one minute? I’m not feeling-”

“You’re an Avenger, right? So get off your ass and start walking.” You hesitantly stood up, apparently too quickly because you began swaying and lurched forward, catching yourself against a tree. The frozen bark cut into your skin, slicing your palms. Willing your head to stop spinning you looked down at your bloodied hands. Another downside of your powers was that once your energy had been spent, it became nearly impossible for you to continue healing, which meant you could not help yourself or others when you were this exhausted. You heard Megan’s boots crunch in the snow as she began to walk, blatantly ignoring your compromised state. Since it appeared you had no other option, you began walking as well, but the edges of your vision were fuzzy and it felt like someone had thrown your head against a wall. If you could just get to Bucky maybe he would let you rest for a minute. No. You couldn’t ask him for that, Megan and Nick already thought you got special treatment for being an Avenger you didn’t need them to see parts of yours and Bucky’s friendship in the field. Plus, Bucky had been acting weird ever since you stepped foot on the quinjet. He called you by your last name and his usual soft eyes and teasing tone had left him completely. It made sense, you told yourself as you pushed forward, because this was his job, and he didn’t really care about you like that. The frigid chill had begun to seep through your suit, and though you had never been a huge fan of the cold, you were thankful for it now. It was keeping you awake and alert, the sting of the snow hitting your face gave you something to focus on so you wouldn’t pass out. Finally you reached the clearing where Bucky was waiting. You glanced up to find his concerned gaze looking you over. You used all your strength to muster up a smile and nodded your head to let him know you were ok. He seemed satisfied enough, and told the team to start walking.

How you managed to walk two miles you weren’t sure, but what you did know was that you were now falling behind the others. You were following Nick and Megan who had been keeping a fairly even pace with Bucky. But now, with the snow whipping all around you, you couldn’t see or hear any of them. Maybe this would be a good time to take a break. It would only be for a few minutes and nobody would notice that you had taken a breather. As the snow storm had progressed you had lost feeling in your fingers and toes, and it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. You thought you reached out to brace yourself on a tree but instead you felt like you were falling. It didn’t hurt when you hit the powdery snow, its cold embrace only called you to rest your eyes. You obeyed and felt your eyelids slowly blink shut. I’ll only rest for a minute, you told yourself. Just as you were about to let sleep pull you under, you heard shouting. The voice sounded familiar as it called your name over the howling of the wind. You knew you should answer but you simply didn’t have the energy. Then, you felt strong arms lift you up and a familiar fresh, piney scent filled your nose. This is what Bucky smells like, you thought to yourself.

“Could you open those pretty eyes for me. Please, doll. I’m begging you, give me anything.”

Bucky sounded like he was talking underwater.

“You are not allowed to do this to me, I swear I’ll make it up to you but you gotta wake up so we can talk.” And why did he seem so worried? You wanted to tell him that you were fine but you couldn’t get the words out.

“Why wouldn’t you say something?” Bucky’s muddled voice had more of an edge this time. His sharp tone made sense, he had every right to be mad at you, it was you who was slowing down the mission and now he had to pick up the slack.

“I didn’t see her fall behind, she was fine a minute ago.” This time it was a woman who responded and somewhere in your mind you figured it was Megan. But you hadn’t been “fine a minute ago,” in fact you hadn’t felt ok for over an hour.

“You’re supposed to watch out for your teammates, so I’m going to ask again, why the hell did you not say something?” In your dazed state you realized Bucky was directing his anger at Megan not at you and well you felt some reprieve from the fact that Bucky didn’t seem too disappointed in you, you were beginning to slip further and further into the shadows of sleep. You knew you needed to stay awake, but you couldn’t feel anything, not the snow hitting your cheeks, or Bucky’s frantic pace, and your entire body felt completely numb. Time began to pass strangely after that moment, you heard some more gargled shouting before you felt your body being laid down on something hard. You found some odd burst of energy and forced your eyelids to open, looking up to find Bucky’s worried eyes desperately trying to hold your gaze. His eyes seemed glossier and much more concerned than normal, but you couldn’t figure out why. “C’mon Y/n, I’ll get you warm and you’ll be alright. I’m gonna have to get your wet gear off first, but I promise I’ll make it all better ok, sweetheart? I love you too much to let go now.” Love? Why would Bucky be talking about love, he seemed so frustrated with you in the field. His face disappeared from view a moment later and you thought you heard the sound of fabric ripping. Bucky yelled for someone to get blankets and before you could tell him that all his shouting was confusing and much too loud, you surrendered yourself to the peaceful comfort of unconsciousness.

You didn’t know when you became aware of your surroundings again, whether it had been minutes or weeks, you couldn’t tell. You could smell burning wood accompanied by a familiar piney scent that you soon identified as Bucky, but you couldn’t open your eyes to confirm your theory. When you heard a deep voice laced with a Brooklyn accent from somewhere around you, you didn’t have to look at Bucky to know whose arms were protecting you.

“...Remember when we were in Queens and you made me go inside that old book store with you? We stayed there until they closed and you kept handing me books that would, “change your life, I swear it, Bucky.” I didn’t like reading much in the forties but I woulda stayed there with you for weeks if it meant I got to see that smile of yours every time you read something funny. I’ll take you back there but you gotta wake up first, alright?” Bucky’s words were soothing, and his soft voice gently lulled you back to sleep before you could answer his request.

Bucky was talking again when you tried to wake up for a second time,

“...Everything about you is perfect, doll, like how you always scrunch your nose when Sam’s cooking looks awful, but you eat it anyway with a smile on your face because you’re just happy he cared enough to make you something.” You wanted to smile for Bucky, open your mouth, say anything. But your head was still too heavy and you couldn’t break through the cloud of sleep that kept dragging you back under.

This time you could feel warmth running up and down your arms, as if someone was trying to coax you from sleep with their caring touch. You waited for Bucky to talk to you again, you found yourself needing his words to anchor you to consciousness.

“...You should’ve told me sooner, sweetheart, I coulda carried you, given you a little break. You know I would do just about anything for you right? Hell, I think everyone on this damn team thinks I’m weak when it comes to you. But you don’t make me weak, Y/n, you give me a reason to smile, you make me feel better about the world and like I’m not too broken to be a part of it…” You wanted to take Bucky’s face in your hands and tell him that he was not broken, that he was worth more than your words would ever mean. But it still seemed like too much work to open your eyes, so you kept them shut and let your mind slip back into sleep for a little longer.

————————————————————————

Your skin felt like it was on fire, that was the first thing you noticed when you fully regained consciousness. Something heavy was laying across your stomach and there was a solid presence holding you that seemed to radiate the same amount of heat as the crackling fire in front of you.

“Y/n? Doll? Thank God you’re finally awake, how’re you feeling?

At the sound of his voice you slowly turned to face Bucky and were met with a look of adoration in those blue eyes, which made you feel even worse for making him take care of you.

“I’m sorry I messed the mission up, Barnes.” Even though your sight was still a little blurry you could make out the confusion in his face. Pushing some hair out of your face he asked,

“You never call me Barnes, what’s up with that Y/n/n? And what are goin’ on about, “messing up the mission,” you didn’t do a damn thing wrong. If Megan and Nick had done their jobs as teammates you wouldn’t be in this situation. It’s my fault too ya know, I should've checked you over before I made you walk three miles. You looked a little tired when I first saw you but I think I tricked myself into believing you were safe, all I ever want is for you to be safe, Y/n.” You weren’t quite sure how to answer him, your brain felt like quicksand, trapping your thoughts from becoming words.

“And you never answered my question, Y/n, you feelin’ better?” You nodded slowly, during the time you had been asleep your body had slowly heated up, you had regained feeling in your limbs and your mind was feeling less foggy by the minute.

“Thanks for getting me out of there, Bucky. I mean, it’s not like I needed your help, I just wanted to sleep for a few minutes.” You attempted to lighten the mood by pushing out a laugh that sounded more like a light exhale.

“There she is, that’s the girl I love.” You whipped your head back with such force that Bucky had to place his hand on your neck to prevent you from giving yourself whiplash. You stared into his eyes, determined to find out if he was really speaking the truth.

“I do love you Y/n, I have from the minute I caught you smiling at Tony’s stupid gala. You’re perfect to me, in every possible way, from your smile to your soul.” Of course you felt the same way for him. Bucky was your best friend, he made you laugh and his heart and the care that he gave out freely never ceased to amaze you. You watched his lips turn into the most perfect smile and you found yourself smiling twice as big knowing that there was no moment in your life more wonderful than this one. Right before you could respond a shiver ran through you and Bucky turned you around so you were facing the fireplace again.

“Hey, Bucky?” you received a low hum and a kiss behind your ear in response. “You should really shower, you smell like an old barn.” He chuckled and replied, “Jeez, doll, I save your life and tell you that I love you, and all you do is tell me that I smell?” You could tell that Bucky knew you were teasing, but you didn’t feel like letting him off the hook quite yet.

“I guess I love you too.” You mumbled with an obvious grin in your voice.

“I know you do doll, I only wish you had said something sooner, then I woulda had more opportunities to torture you for makin’ fun of me.” With that, Bucky began to tickle your stomach, while still being wary of your injuries, earning an eruption of giggles from your mouth. After a few seconds Bucky pulled you back against him and whispered a soft, “sleep, sweet girl, I’ve got you,” into your hair. Your eyes slowly fell shut and you felt completely content, knowing you were safe in the arms of the man who loved you, and who you loved right back.

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky fluff #marvel fan fiction #bucky barnes x enhanced reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky one shot #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic

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itsplumwriter · 4 months

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Worst Nightmare

POV: Bucky has a nightmare he has hurt his entire family, but has no memory of doing so.

A/N: So this was intense... I love that it's a dream but we have y/n's perspective as if it's real. I think this would be Bucky's worst nightmare if he had a family. I can't wait to write a part ii for this! Would you guys like to see that? (:

Warnings: wounds, blood, nightmare, implied children attack

—-

Bucky pulls into the driveway. He can't quite remember the drive home or what he was doing right before he got there, but his mind is fixated on changing out of his dirt-ridden uniform as quickly as possible and eating the spaghetti you promised you’d make him when he came home.

His shoulders relax as he approaches the door, fumbling for his keys.

“I’m home,” he calls out, tossing his keys in the entryway table bowl and dropping his work bag.

The lack of an immediate answer was a little odd. The announcement that he was home usually sent the boys rushing towards him at least.

“Doll?” he calls upstairs. No response.

It was strange, the house being so silent.

Then he hears a strained whimpering from the kitchen. He bolts towards it.

“Honey?!”

When he rounds the corner, his eyes widen.

You were on the floor, clutching your stomach. Blood everywhere.

Bucky rushes to you. “Y/n!! What happened??”

“Bucky... The kids...” you utter, as he eyes the large gash pooling blood on your abdomen.

“Your stomach...” he utters in horror, unable to focus on anything else.

He grabs the kitchen towel, trying to put pressure on your wound.

“James...” you say, grabbing his hands. “Check the boys... Upstairs...”

He stares at you, his eyes now red. He doesn't want to leave you, but he knows you won’t forgive him if he doesn’t put the kids first.

He secures the towel in place. “Keep the pressure on it.”

He runs up the stairs, two at a time.

He bursts into their room. “Boys!?”

Bucky falls to his knees when he sees what happened to them.

---

You’d been sitting on the kitchen floor, breath hitching, barely hanging on, drifting in and out... but you needed to hear what happened to your kids.

You hear Bucky storm down the stairs. You’re not sure if you’ll be able to speak, but you’ll be able to tell from his face the status of your children.

So when he enters the kitchen and he can’t even look you in the eye, you immediately start crying.

You squeeze your eyes shut, tears burning through. It feels as though your heart’s been ripped out of your chest, worse than any pain from your injuries.

“It’s gonna be okay...” Bucky says. “You hear me?”

Bucky kneels beside you, gripping your shoulders, trying to ground you. You were inconsolable. You couldn’t even catch a breath.

He inspects your wound, eyes widening when he sees the towel hasn’t done anything, completely soaking in blood.

He looks down, trying to think. “I can fix this.”

You shake your head.

Bucky tries to carry you. “Please let me fix this.”

You push him away. You refuse to let him take you to a hospital. You already know it's no use.

Bucky sits beside you, defeated. He rolls his head back, the tears stinging his eyes. “This can’t be happening. Why did this have to happen?”

He buries his head in your neck, crying softly. "I can't lose you too."

You’re really weak, but you manage to rest your head on his shoulder. As soon as you do, his whole body shakes with sorrow.

The two of you sit on the kitchen floor, accepting the reality of it.

Suddenly, he pulls back his tears and takes a deep breath. He takes your hand and squeezes it tight. “Honey, who did this...”

Your eyes widen, shaking your head.

Bucky takes both your hands and puts them in his. “Honey, please. You need to tell me.”

You press your lips together, burning tears streaming down your face.

Bucky narrows his gaze, confused as to why you won’t tell him. “Honey, just tell me.”

You look him in his watery eyes. You hesitate for as long as you can. You weren’t gonna tell him. You told yourself you weren’t gonna tell him. His pleading blue eyes squeeze it out of you.

“You did.”

--- --- ---

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somethingeden · 5 months

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The Hurtful Truth

Summary: Y/n is fed up with trying to make her lover, Bucky, remember her. So, after a failed mission he goes to check on her and confronts her on her behaviour.

Warnings: Swearing, un-detailed violence??

Word count: 380 words (sorry I will do more words in the future).

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

The mission was going horrible. It was supposed to be simple, get in and get out with the captives. But no, you just had to fuck it up. You just had to trip over a wire that was where you were hiding. You just had to get bloody caught. Because of that, all the captives were killed on the spot as it turns out, they were just bait.

“Y/n! on your left!” Your brother, Steve yells as you kick a HYDRA Agent away. You turn sharply around to face the so-called agent that your brother called to you but then you get flung across the grass field towards a tree. Your back erupts in pain as your back hits the tree, so you find yourself crumbled on the ground. You can only hear ringing in your ears as you groan.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you slowly heave yourself off the ground. Stumbling forward you soon collapse back onto the ground. The last thing you witness is Wanda sprinting towards you while her lips move but all you hear is still the ringing of a bell, before your eyes flutter close into darkness.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

Your eyes slowly but gradually open but you find your lips curl up into a scowl as the lights blind you. Wincing as you turn your eyes to the right you find your brother impatiently seated on a chair. “Y/n. You are awake”, Steve grins.

Your head tilts to the side as you find a man standing at the doorway. “Jamie?” Your throat croaks out as it demands for rest.

“Hello doll” Bucky answers and pushes off the wall to her side. He glances at her blonde brother and nods slightly. Steve then plants his lips on my forehead before walking out of the room. “Doll, what happened?”

“What do you mean? Do you mean the mission?” You flinch as you recount the memories of it. “So many people…. So many people lost their lives… because I fucked up”

“What happened, happened. You didn’t fuck it up okay. I was not asking about the mission.. but your behaviour since we have met. It’s like you know something and are avoiding me!” He softly furrows his brows in frustration and his eyes bore into yours.

#mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #bucky barnes #james barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #winter solider x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #mcu oneshot #somethingeden

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buckybabesonly · 1 year

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I Wanna Be Yours

Summary: You are afraid to believe that someone like Bucky might actually love you back.

Pairing: Bucky x Female!Shy!Insecure!Reader

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: Casual sex (?), misunderstandings, self-deprecation

A/N: I’m actually not very happy with how this turned out but I hope some of you might enjoy it anyway?

Word count: 4.8k

You had never fallen in love before until you met Bucky.

You had spent your whole life wondering when it would happen to you - when you would feel that heart-racing, mind-blowing, bliss-inducing love that you saw so often in movies and read in novels.

Falling for him had been unexpected, like you had been turning corners in an endless maze until suddenly - there he was. This unbelievably talented, unique, intelligent man who treated you with respect and kindness. He showed interest in you when you were too shy to approach him first, talking to you about the everyday mundane, making you feel special. Out of all the incredible people Bucky knew and interacted with, he made you feel like you counted, too.

You worked as a lab tech at the Avengers compound since landing the coveted job two years ago, working closely with Bruce Banner, and had witnessed first hand when Bucky joined the team. He had been quiet at first, introverted, but you watched as he blossomed like a flower. He revealed more of his great sense of humour, wicked smile and subtle charm which made you fall for him.

When you were around him, you felt like your nerve endings were on fire. Every touch from him on your arm, your shoulders, the small of your back, sent pulses shooting through your body and a flush of red straight to your cheeks. The power he had over you was undeniable, and you were certain he knew it, too.

The moment you realised you were in trouble was on a Saturday afternoon, four months after you first met him. He returned to the compound one day with a nasty gash on his forehead and blood crusting his hands, his eyes tired and face pale. The moment you saw him, you knew that if anything were to happen to him, you would have no idea how to cope. Even seeing him with relatively minor injuries made your chest clench in fear and anxiety.

Without a doubt, you had finally fallen in love.

Your first time with Bucky was unexpected. He was perched on one of the counters in your lab, snacking on a pack of cashews as he watched you peer into a microscope. You could barely focus on the work at hand, hyper aware of his presence and ocean blue eyes on your form.

“You’re not supposed to eat in here, you know,” you murmured, trying to hide your smile.

“I know,” he countered, continuing to chew obnoxiously.

You had been harbouring your secret feelings for him for over a year and a half. With every day that passed, you found it harder and harder to figure out what to do. Sometimes you felt that he reciprocated them - the constant flirting, the close touches, the excuses he made to spend time alone with one another. But you were too afraid to ask him outright how he felt about you, and too shy to make the first move.

“How’s your leg?” you asked, if only to distract yourself from your thoughts, referring to the injury he had received a few days ago.

“Much better. Strong as ever.” He kicked it out suddenly as to punctuate his words.

“Hey,” you exclaimed, alarmed. “I wish you would be more careful. Seems you’re always getting patched up lately.” You were frowning, and Bucky seemed amused at your concern.

“Occupational hazard.”

“Whatever. Just don’t bust open your stitches and bleed all over my lab. It’s just been sanitized.” You sniffed as Bucky cocked his head at you, flashing his adorable grin. “In fact I’m violating several health and safety rules just allowing you to be in here,” you said, trying to keep your face straight as Bucky threatened to tease a smile from you.

You turned back to the work at hand, working in comfortable silence as Bucky observed you. He soon seemed restless, however, and you looked up again when he jumped off his perch and walked over to you, bumping you with his shoulder. He smelled so good - like the forest after it had just rained. He looked down at you, giving you one of his trademark dimpled smiles yet again.

“What?”

“I’m bored,” he shrugged.

“Don’t you have top secret, dangerous mission stuff to do?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Your heart was beating fast as he leaned closer suddenly, eyes flickering from yours down to your mouth. He had been doing that a lot as of late.

“Rather do something else,” he said quietly, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip.

Time stood still. He suddenly closed the distance between you, and then you were kissing. His lips were soft, his hands gentle as they raised to cradle your face, sliding into your hair.

Your hands raised on their own accord to grab the edges of his leather jacket, pulling him closer, feeling surreal as he deepened the kiss.

He pulled away just long enough for you to ask breathlessly, “Is this actually happening?”

All he did was chuckle and pull you back against him again.

You were positively floating as Bucky grabbed your hand and led you to his private floor in the compound, into his bedroom. You thought you were dreaming when he lay you down softly on his bed, undressing you both because your hands were shaking.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, eyes searching your face as you nodded.

“Yes,” you said instantly. “It’s okay.”

That night, you had sex with him for the first time. He held you tightly as he thrust inside you, peppering your face with kisses, making you whimper with pleasure until you both reached the inevitable climax.

You felt you could die happy now as you fell asleep in Bucky’s arms, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

Insecurity was an ugly thing.

You woke up a couple of hours before Bucky, lying with your eyes wide open as the ink black sky slowly lightened, the sun bleeding across the horizon.

You looked at this man lying beside you - this perfect specimen, eyes closed and lips slightly parted as he slept, his chiselled jawline, ruggedly handsome features. The reality of what had happened was slowly sinking in, bringing with it doubts and questions as to what this meant.

God, he was so beautiful. So perfect in literally every way. You were fully aware of his contrast to you.

You had never considered yourself a beautiful girl. You had always been very conscious of your flaws, the way your body didn’t look quite the way you wanted it to, the way you felt that no one really gave you a second look.

I’m bored, Bucky had said yesterday. Were you just a cure for his boredom?

You gnawed at your bottom lip, uncertainties flooding into your system as you recalled the conversation and events leading up to the steamy encounter yesterday. Had he pulled you tighter against him, or had you simply imagined it? Did he do this all the time, or were you an exception?

People had causal sex all the time. You knew that Natasha and Steve had fooled around before and continued as friends only, and a lot of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents you knew had been known to sleep around interdepartmentally, lending to some interesting work gossip.

You knew you were stupid to let yourself think something serious might be happening. You and Bucky hadn’t even spoken about feelings or been on anything which remotely resembled a date. Bucky had been a proper charmer back in the day, you were well aware.

Your heart plummeted as you continued to think. You were suddenly so relieved you hadn’t revealed your feelings for him last night in your stupor. You had been so happy to be held by him, to be kissed by him, but that’s all it was - just a bit of fun. It had to be.

You felt Bucky stir beside you eventually, and you clutched the covers close to your naked body as he opened his eyes and smiled at you lazily.

What was the proper etiquette? Were you supposed to leave as soon as possible?

“Morning,” he said huskily. He looked so adorable that the panic in your chest quelled momentarily.

“Morning,” you smiled.

He yawned, his dark hair unruly as he ran his fingers through it.

“What’s the time?”

You cleared your throat. “Just gone seven. I have an early meeting with Bruce.”

“Mmm. Okay. You have to go now?” He looked at you with what may have been disappointment.

“I should probably get going, yeah. Need to prepare,” you said, eyes scanning the room for your clothes as you blushed at the thought of dressing in front of Bucky, even though he had seen you in all your naked glory last night.

Bucky suddenly moved in close and kissed you, causing your breath to hitch. You felt self conscious about how worn out you probably looked first thing in the morning, but melted into his touch nonetheless.

"Are we going to do this again?" he managed to get out against your lips.

"If you like," you answered carefully.

"I would very much like."

“Me too,” you said shyly, pulling back from Bucky and ducking your head down.

"So you're okay with this?"

Your heart constricted then, wanting to shout loudly that no, it’s not okay, and you actually wanted a serious relationship. But how terrifying would that be to suddenly dump your confessions onto him when the poor man had no idea how you felt?

But you didn’t know what was worse. Just being friends with benefits, or actually confessing your true feelings and pushing him away completely.

“Sure,” you said finally, keeping your voice purposely light. “It’s just sex, Bucky. It’s okay.”

Bucky froze then, his expression unreadable as he stared at you. His eyebrows were slightly drawn together, his lips stiffening as he swallowed.

“What?” you asked carefully, feeling inexplicably nervous.

Bucky was silent for a beat before responding. “Nothing.” He gestured between you with his vibranium hand, frowning ever so slightly. “This is nothing. Right?”

He wanted affirmation. You felt shame flood your chest.

“Right,” you said weakly, turning away before Bucky could see the tears in your eyes. “I better get going.”

He didn’t say anything as you hurriedly pulled on your clothes and mumbled an imperceptible “Bye” before you let yourself out.

As it turned out, it didn’t happen again.

You had no idea what you had done or how you had messed it up, but you had.

You had never done this before. Never casually hopped into bed with a man without something greater at play. You had one ex-boyfriend from your college days who was sweet but you were never truly in love with, and sex with him had happened a few months into your relationship.

You didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to act around Bucky anymore. Didn’t know what he even wanted.

You thought he just wanted a fling. No strings attached. But after that day, somehow, the two of you were never alone again.

He gave you small, if a little curt, smiles now and again and sometimes spoke to you about work-related matters if necessary, but everything else had suddenly disappeared.

A monstrous, ugly feeling gnawed a hole in your chest, slowly over the next two weeks until it was a gaping cavern. Had you messed it up so badly that Bucky just wasn’t interested anymore? Or worse - had it been his objective all along to just get you into bed and then disappear?

No, he wasn’t like that, you decided, quickly dismissing the thought. The only logical conclusion, then, was that your performance had been so poor that he just didn’t want to be intimate again, but didn’t know how to tell you.

You felt so lost. This isn’t what you wanted, not really. You were never one for casual sex, and yet it killed you how Bucky was avoiding you now. You’d rather reduce yourself to his fuck buddy than nothing. That one night with him had been magical, had made you think about an entire lifetime of mornings waking up beside him.

Your misery was clear to see to all those around you, particularly Bruce, whom you had become very good friends with since you worked together in such close proximity.

“Are you okay?” he asked suddenly, exactly two weeks after your night with Bucky. You were prodding about with some equipment you were working on for Sam’s wings. “And don’t just say you are, because I can tell you’re not.”

You shrugged half heartedly. “I guess I’m not. But I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“You might feel better,” Bruce said, approaching you with a sympathetic tilt of the head. “You know I don’t usually pry, but I’m kind of worried. I can tell you’re upset.”

“Not upset,” you lied quickly, meeting his eyes. “Just…I need to get out of my own head, maybe.”

Bruce studied your face carefully but didn’t delve any further. “Tell you what. Maybe you’ll feel better tonight at the party.”

You wanted to groan loudly. Tony’s annual charity gala. You had looked forward to it before, the prospect of dressing up and maybe getting a dance with Bucky, but you weren’t quite in the party mood anymore. Still, you decided to maintain as positive of a mindset as you could, returning Bruce’s smile and promising yourself that you’d try and have a good time.

You left work with a slightly reinvigorated mindset as you headed back to your apartment to get changed. Maybe tonight could be a chance to relight that spark with Bucky again - if not that way, then you at least wanted some assurance that you were still friends.

You tried your best to uplift your mood whilst you got ready. You changed into a silky blue dress, one which complimented Bucky’s eyes, you realised. Perhaps this had been in your subconscious the day you’d picked it out. It was a long number, quite form fitting with a modest slit up the leg. You tried hard with your makeup and jewellery, the idea of impressing Bucky at the forefront of your mind as you tried to steady your racing heart every time he popped into your head.

Observing yourself in the mirror, you smoothed down the sides of your dress and tried to practice your smile. You managed to leave your apartment in a much better, optimistic state as you hailed a cab to take you to the gala venue.

It was being held in a new building commissioned by Tony next to Central Park, extravagant enough to rival the Met. You walked into the marble lobby, gaping at the high, vaulted ceilings and chandeliers hanging everywhere for just a moment, before you began searching the crowd for a familiar face.

You found yourself mingling with your other fellow lab techs who were buzzing with excitement to be invited to such an event, and you suppressed a frown as 30 minutes passed with no sign of Bucky.

Eventually, the crowd filtered into the main room filled with round tables where dinner would be served, and a huge glass bar which stretched along one side of the room. People were still socialising before food was to be served, and your eyes were roving non-stop, unable to focus on proper conversation with anyone.

Finally, just when your hope was dissipating, you saw him. He was standing in the middle of the crowded bar, clad in a black tux. This was the first time you had ever seen him in such an outfit, and it took your breath away. He held a flute of champagne in one hand, a complete vision and so different to how you usually saw him, typically fresh off the battlefield in his combat gear.

He was talking to Sam who had his back towards you. Bucky’s expression was unreadable but, as if sensing your burning eyes on him, he glanced towards you.

He did a double take, pausing mid-sentence to Sam, and you held your breath. He gave you a polite, if slightly terse, smile. He turned his attention away from you again, and your heart clenched.

It hurt more than you thought it would. It was just a tiny gesture, and he had acknowledged you, but why did it cause you pain?

No. Stop overthinking. You excused yourself from your colleagues and found yourself walking towards Bucky and Sam, reminding yourself that you were friends. You spoke to Bucky all the time - okay, maybe not in the last couple of weeks, but you had nothing to be afraid of. Just act normal.

“Hey guys,” you said lightly, watching as Bucky cleared his throat and gave you that same, tight smile.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Sam beamed, giving you a one armed hug. “You look stunning.”

You smiled shyly, twisting your hands together as you looked at Bucky.

“Thanks. You both look very handsome.”

As if answering your prayers for alone time with Bucky, you heard Clint in the distance beckon for Sam to go over, and he excused himself, leaving you two stood in a slightly awkward silence.

Bucky raised his champagne and took a sip as you tried to get him to meet your eyes.

“How have you been?” you asked finally. “Haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

Bucky shrugged, finally looking at you. “Been okay. Busy.”

You felt frustration rising. Usually he would be telling you all about the things that had occurred in his day, his daily arguments with Sam, anything and everything in between. But now he spoke to you as if you were merely acquaintances.

“Listen. Did I do something wrong?” you said finally, surprising yourself by cutting to the chase. You just wanted Bucky back, and you let your desperation take over.

Bucky seemed taken aback at your forward approach, but he composed himself quickly.

“Nothing,” he said, his tone ever so slightly blunt. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

You felt like you were going to cry. You didn’t know how just a fortnight ago, you and Bucky had been locked in a passionate cinch in his bed, and now he was completely icing you out.

“Okay,” you said, deflating slightly. You knew that if he didn’t want to tell you, there was nothing you could do to squeeze it out of him.

“I’m gonna go take a seat,” he muttered, giving you one last look before he walked away.

You quickly hurried back to your colleagues, embarrassment searing your insides.

The evening passed painfully slowly. You found yourself sat quietly at your table after dinner service had ended and people were either having drinks, chatting out on the balconies or dancing in the middle of the ballroom.

You felt the gala could not get any worse. Until it did.

Natasha and Bucky were in the middle of the dance floor, swallowed up in the sea of couples and yet standing out due to their striking attractiveness. Natasha was dressed in a short, tight black dress, so simple and yet so gorgeous. Her red hair was straight and sleek, and she looked up at Bucky as they danced, his signature almost-cocky smile on his lips. A smile which he had not shown you since that day.

Natasha was effortlessly beautiful. She didn’t even have to try and she could get any man she wanted. Bucky included, obviously. You watched their movements closely as they danced, how they spoke to each other in low voices.

The emotions rising in your chest was like bile in your throat. It burned, it hurt, and it was able to illicit a terrible response in your brain.

You felt so ridiculous.

The dress you had on suddenly felt too tight, too uncomfortable around your stomach. You caught sight of your reflection in one of the large, ornate mirrors hanging off the walls and suddenly felt so ugly. You had tried so hard tonight, and for what? Bucky had barely given you ten seconds of his attention, and at the end of the day, no amount of effort could make you feel beautiful.

You didn’t know how you could’ve let yourself believe in something more. You had to make every effort to even just feel somewhat presentable, but women like Natasha didn’t have to. She was stunning and talented and intelligent, the obvious choice.

God knows why you had been questioning Bucky’s lack of attention. Maybe you had simply been misinterpreting your closeness all along.

You stood then, not wanting to cry in front of an audience. No one would notice you early departure anyway.

You left the ballroom, almost tripping in your stupid heels as you collected your things from the cloakroom.

Shrugging on your heavy coat as you marched through the empty lobby, you yelped in pain as you rolled your ankle clumsily, sending you crashing gracelessly onto the floor. You cursed, coat half-hanging off your body as you felt tears spring to your eyes.

It was the last straw. You were crying as you tried to stand, ankle throbbing, feeling mildly grateful that there was no one around to witness your childish episode. You thought you might have heard someone calling your name, but you ignored it, the roaring in your ears failing to stop.

Your tears didn’t cease, not even when you finally made it back home, ripping off the dress as soon as you could and crawling into the safety of your bed.

Bucky finally found you the next day in your lab on your lunch break. You were startled to see him appear in the doorway, your eyes tired and swollen from a night of crying. You hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

“Bruce isn’t here,” was the first thing you said.

He looked almost annoyed as he walked in and said, “Wasn’t looking for him.”

“Oh. What do you want?” The words came out harsher than you intended. Bucky definitely looked annoyed now, a scowl fixed on his face.

He shook his head. “Never mind. Forget it.”

“Bucky!” Your voice came out loud and sharp as he turned back around. Frustration erupted. “You know what - you have no right to behave this way.”

“Excuse me?” He turned to look at you incredulously, forehead creasing.

“The way you’ve been treating me - the past few weeks since that night - you just ignore me now,” you were practically spluttering, all your feelings fighting to pour themselves out at once. “It’s horrible. I thought we were friends.”

“We were,” he said, looking almost torn.

“It’s not fair.” Your eyes were stinging and you were mortified, hurriedly lifting your hands to wipe them.

“Are you crying?” Bucky asked softly, looking nervous.

“Yes,” you snapped. “I thought we were close - I thought you liked me.” You were humiliated at your confession but ploughed on. “I thought that night meant something. But you -”

“Woah, hang on -”

“Don’t interrupt me!” you huffed.

Bucky took you in his arms, pulling you into his chest as you tried to pull back.

“Calm down,” he grunted, holding you still as you let out an exasperated noise. “Breathe.”

You knew he wouldn’t let up, so you let your anger reduce to a simmer as you focused on breathing steadily.

“Good girl.”

His presence was comforting despite your anger and frustration towards him. He always made you feel safe.

“I thought you liked me,” you repeated in a quiet voice. You were staring at his chest, refusing to look at him.

“I do,” he said, his voice tight.

“No, I thought you liked me as more than a friend.”

Bucky pulled back, lifting two figures under your chin and forcing you to meet his eyes.

“Can we rewind?” His request was soft. “Tell me. What did that night mean to you?”

“Are you really going to make me do this?”

His silence spoke volumes.

You tried not to let your frustration get the better of you. “I really like you, Bucky. I’m not a girl who enjoys sex with no strings attached. Especially not with you. I mean, I enjoyed the sex -” you blushed violently, “- but I - I want more.” Your words were rushed and you stared at the empty spot above his head, wanting to die from embarrassment.

“More?” he promoted.

“A relationship,” you clarified. “I know that’s not what you want. And that’s fine. But if we could at least just go back to how we were, where you actually spoke to me and spent time with me, I would really like that. Because I miss you.”

Bucky looked perplexed as he released you, mouth opening wordlessly. Finally, he uttered, “I don’t want that.”

Searing pain burst inside you, and your face crumpled.

“No, no, no,” he said hurriedly as your vision blurred. “I mean - I don’t want to be friends, because I want to be together. I want a relationship.”

“With me?” you asked, confusion marring your face.

“With you.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” you said instantaneously. “Are you joking? This isn’t funny.”

“Would I joke about something like that?”

“You said you were bored,” you blurted. “You asked me if I was ‘okay with this’.” As you spoke, you realised how groundless your assumptions actually might be, but you refused to believe the alternative - that Bucky genuinely wanted to be with you.

Bucky threw his hands up in the air, looking defensive. “You said it was ‘just sex’! I never at any point told you that this was just fun for me.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted.”

Bucky dragged a hand over his face, sighing. “Okay, I think we may have had a breakdown in communication.”

“But I don’t get it,” you insisted. “Why would you want to be with me? I saw you with Natasha last night.”

“Dancing,” he said indignantly. “Just dancing.”

“You didn’t dance with me,” you shot back. “I - I only went to that dumb thing because I wanted you to ask me to dance.”

Bucky looked pained, biting down on his lower lip with regret. “I didn’t know.”

“I wanted to look nice for you,” you confessed quietly.

“You did. You were gorgeous.”

You laughed humourlessly. Bucky frowned.

“I’m being serious.”

“Sure.” You genuinely didn’t believe him.

“Stop that and look at me,” he said sharply.

His eyes were filled with both annoyance and affection, making you falter. You didn’t say anything when he sighed and stroked your hair.

“I wanted to tell you how beautiful you were. But I just couldn’t bear to be near you. I thought you just wanted something casual. And I don’t think I can handle that.”

“I can’t handle that either,” you confessed. “I really want to be with you, Bucky.”

Bucky beamed then upon hearing your words, relief washing over his face.

“Really?”

How could he ever doubt that? You smiled and nodded, but your smile was fragile and faded at the thought of Bucky and Natasha dancing last night. Even if there was nothing untoward happening, you still felt that he should be with someone as equally impressive as Natasha.

“Yes,” you confirmed. “I want to be with you, but at the same time, I don’t know why you would want to be with me.”

Bucky frowned. “Is it that hard to understand?”

You didn’t say anything, so Bucky continued, “I thought you knew how I felt. I’ve been making it pretty damn obvious these past few months.”

“I thought you were just being nice,” you mumbled. “I did think, sometimes, maybe you had feelings for me, but then I decided it just didn’t make sense.”

“Tell me why,” Bucky said gently.

You took a deep breath, knowing you could be vulnerable around him. “I’ve never felt that I was good enough for you. I feel so average, so normal. And you - well, you’re you. So outstanding in every way.”

Bucky shook his head, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. He smiled slightly when you blushed in response, skin flaming.

“Listen to me. Do you know how I view myself? I’m completely flawed, my morals are sometimes questionable, I’ve done terrible things -”

You were shaking your head vehemently in disagreement, and he smiled.

“See? You’re proving my point. We’re our own biggest critics. And maybe you don’t see how amazing you are, but I do. And I want you. I have pretty good taste, you know.” The way he looked at you made your self-doubt falter - he was observing you like you were so precious, the softness and tenderness in his face making your heart flutter.

You smiled then, Bucky taking a step closer, dipping his head to whisper against your lips.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life convincing you how brilliant you are, if that’s what it takes.”

#bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #avengers fic #Bucky one shot #bucky barnes x you #bucky fic

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mymoonagedaydream · 1 year

Text

Summary: After the incident things were looking pretty bleak, but the one thing you thought would make everything worse ended up saving you.

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 7.8k

Warnings: Language, mentions of suicide and self harm, mentions of guns and gun violence

Author’s Note: So I wrote a one shot because I cannot, for the life of me, stick to a consistent writing schedule. Enjoy!

---

You never expected anyone to feel sorry for you. That had been a pretty consistent theme throughout your life, why would anyone feel sorry for the kid who got everything they asked for? Granted, the only things in your past that might have sparked an ounce of pity were trivial, like a broken ankle or a bad break up, but even after this mess you never expected much.

It'd been a few months now since it happened, either two or three, you weren't sure exactly- enough time for seemingly everyone you'd ever met to show up and implore you to tell the story over and over again. One or two of them did appear genuinely concerned but you couldn't shake the feeling that most of them just wanted the gossip, desperate for anything to make them the most interesting person in the room at their next garden party or champagne brunch or ambassador's reception. Every single painful, repetitive, disingenuous conversation you had to sit through served as a further reminder of why you’d left this life behind as soon as you had the chance. Now you were stuck back here for god knows how much longer, and everything just felt bleak.

A soft knock rapped against your bedroom door. You didn't bother answering, they'd just let themselves in, they always did. The knob turned and the door creaked open, your father's timid face peering in.

“Are you busy?” It was nice of him to ask, but it was also unnecessary, because you hadn’t left your couch to do anything other than pee in weeks. “Your aunt Carol is here. She brought you some gifts, I thought it might make you feel better.”

Both of you knew very well that it would have the opposite effect, the only thing you'd ever resented your mother for was bringing that vapid bitch into your life. Well, that and accidentally letting slip that the tooth fairy wasn’t real on your third birthday.

Carol careered round the door and past your father in her typical pantomime dame dress and makeup. You smirked, thinking to yourself that, in dimmer light and with some sinister music, it would've made an excellent scene for a horror film. Ever since your mother passed she’d been sniffing around the house more and more, you were convinced she was trying to seduce your dad to get his money but you couldn't prove it. Thankfully, he had enough sense to stay the hell away from her.

“Oh, look at you, you poor thing. You look awful.” She clunked the wrapped box and card she was holding down on the table and joined you on the couch, her offensive perfume making your nose begin to itch. “Come on, auntie Carol is here for you now, tell me everything darling.”

You gave your father, who was standing by the door looking very apologetic, a harsh glare.

“There's not much to tell. Dad was mid-speech when some guy in the audience stood up, next thing I knew he was getting tackled and there was a loud bang. I look down and I'm bleeding.”

“Oh my, who was he?”

“Just some crazy, nationalist, militia guy targeting politicians, apparently. They have no idea if he was alone or with a group so it’s safer for me to stay here for now. My apartment is too much of a risk.”

“Bless you. It's so difficult being in the public eye, but you are so brave.” She pointed down to your stomach, “and don't worry, I've got some magic serum that'll clear up any unsightly scars ready for bikini season. I'll send you my diet plan, too.”

You turned the dial up on the daggers you were shooting your father every time she looked away, and he finally took the hint.

“Okay, Carol. We should let her rest now.”

“Alright, love you so much baby. Look after yourself, okay? Maybe run a comb through your hair or something. Very frizzy.”

You rolled your eyes at her back as she left and reached over to grab the card. There was a sad puppy on the front, sitting beneath the words sorry you’re having a hard time. You figured that Hallmark probably didn't stock a sorry you got shot by a psychopath card.

Your father was lingering. He never lingered.

“Everything okay, dad?”

“Yes. Although, there is something I need to tell you.”

“Go on.”

“I've hired someone.”

“Right.”

“For you,” he noted your confusion, “to protect you.”

“A bodyguard?”

“No, he's not a bodyguard.” You raised an eyebrow. “He's not just a bodyguard.”

“The hell does that mean?”

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Wiping the sweat from his palms onto his trousers, he strode over and took a seat beside you, preparing himself with a deep breath. This was serious.

“The last time you saw Dr Burke she recommended that we… don't leave you on your own too much. So, he's going to be looking out for your welfare, going to be spending time with you.”

“Ah, I see. Suicide watch. Great.”

“I’m worried about you. You barely eat, you don't move from that spot, you haven’t showered for weeks. I know you miss being in your own place but,” he put his hand on top of yours, “I’ve already lost your mother, I can’t lose you too.”

Well, that hit you like a punch in the gut.

“Okay, dad. If you think it’ll help.”

“I do.” He stood up, giving you a light kiss on the top of your head before turning to leave. “He’ll be here in a few hours.”

---

You were woken from a light sleep by another knock on the door. The only thing you hadn’t been struggling with recently was sleep, it was the only way you could make your days pass quicker.

Again, the door creaked open before you answered. Your dad stepped in followed by a man you assumed to be your new long-term babysitter. You’d expected someone more stern looking, someone dressed like an extra from Men in Black, but he just looked like a normal guy. He had a strong face, broad shoulders and deep brown hair. If you’d been in a different state of mind you might even have considered him attractive, but you were far too tired for anything like that.

“Sweetheart, this is-” Your father looked blankly over to his companion, obviously already having forgotten his name.

“James. Nice to meet you.”

You mustered a faint smile. There was a brief, awkward silence as your father’s eyes flicked from you back to the composed looking guest, whose huge arms were folded over his chest.

“Well, uh- I have a call in a few minutes. I suppose I’ll leave you two to get to know each other,” he clapped a hand on James’ back, “just let me know if you need anything.”

Then, just like that, you were alone with a complete stranger. Your eyes stayed firmly fixed to the movie you’d slept through half of but were suddenly incredibly interested in. You heard James shuffle forwards, his broad frame eventually scooching into the edge of your vision.

“Look, I get it. You’re a grown-ass adult, I wouldn’t like having some stranger keeping an eye on me all the time either. If you want, I can just stick to the corner, stay out of your way. You won’t even know I’m here.”

That actually sounded like a pretty sweet deal, but you’d feel incredibly guilty having him perched on the other side of the room like a piece of furniture. The least you could do was be a little friendly.

“That’s alright, you can have the comfy seat,” you faintly motioned your head towards the nearby armchair, “but I’ll be shitty company.”

He happily settled himself in. “Makes no odds to me, I’m getting paid to be here.”

A short breathy chuckle escaped your lips, taking you by surprise. It’d been a long while since someone had made you laugh, all the conversations you’d had in the past few weeks had been unbelievably morbid and condescending, most of them with people you had no interest in talking to in the first place.

A couple of silent hours passed. You‘d gotten so used to being alone that you kept forgetting he was there, the odd cough or movement making you jump out of your skin. Eventually, Elaine pounded on the door and announced that she’d brought dinner up for both of you, so James jumped up and helped her with the cart.

Elaine was your father’s housekeeper and the only thing that had prevented him dying of starvation or exposure since your mom died. She was kind and patient, you liked her alot. Her food was always incredible, you felt awful for barely eating it over the last few weeks but the pain from your stomach wound combined with zero expenditure of energy had just killed your appetite.

James looked from his plate over to yours, his knife and fork poised. “You not eating?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“When’s the last time you ate anything?”

Someone had been talking to dad.

You shrugged. “This morning, I think.”

“Bullshit.” Your eyes snapped in his direction. “You know you’re not gonna get any better if you don’t eat, right? You’ll just have to put up with me bugging you for even longer.”

“Thought you were gonna stay out my way?”

“Mostly.” His mouth curled into a faint smile. “How about this, you eat a couple bites, I’ll eat the rest and we’ll tell your dad you ate the whole thing.”

You considered for a second. Not a bad offer, getting your dad off your back for a while would be pretty great. You knew what game he was playing but you were more than willing to play too just as long as the benefits outweighed the drawbacks.

“Deal.”

You expended a tremendous amount of effort leaning yourself forward and grabbing the plate, feeling James’ gaze tunnelling into the side of your face as the two of you began to eat. You had to admit, you enjoyed the food much more than you’d expected, half the plate had gone before you felt full. James looked pretty smug while finishing off the rest of it.

The sky outside slowly turned dark and you could feel yourself getting sleepy, so you settled deeper into the couch for your third sleep of the day.

“Hey,” James leant forward in his seat, “you need help getting to your bed or anything?”

“Oh, no, I’m good. I usually just sleep here.”

He gave you a puzzled look. “There? Is that comfortable? Can’t be good for your back.”

“Probably isn’t, but I don’t have the energy to move.”

“You don’t need the energy,” he sprung up from his seat, “you’ve got me.”

Before you could comprehend what was happening, James had an arm anchored around your upper back and was inching you upwards, away from the safety of your sad-zone and onto your feet. A few mild pangs of pain shot through your stomach but it wasn’t enough to make you fight back, so you just gave in, relaxed into his grip and let him walk you across the room.

Your mattress was unbelievably comfortable and you felt knot after knot untying in your back as you stretched out flat, but you didn’t need to tell him that. Who was this magical asshole, anyway, showing up and suddenly knowing what would help you better than you did?

“I’m just gonna crash on that armchair, if that’s all good with you.”

“There?” You carefully rolled onto your side so you were facing away from him. “Can’t be good for your back.”

A deep chuckle came from behind you. “Smartass. Shout me if you need to go to the bathroom or anything.”

You just grunted, already half asleep. It was only another minute or so before you drifted off peacefully and got the best night of rest you’d had in weeks.

Maybe this babysitting thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

---

You woke to the sound of soft snoring on the other side of the room. Light was bleeding in around the curtains and you could hear footsteps in the corridor, probably your father heading downstairs for his coffee and newspaper. Coming to your senses, you rolled over and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to pee. You propped yourself up on your elbows and looked over to see James’ limp hand hanging over the edge of the armchair.

You didn’t need him, you could do this.

Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and hoisting yourself up was easier than expected but that, unfortunately, made you a little overconfident for the rest of the journey. After a couple of steps the pain started. You felt pathetic but that amount of effort had actually winded you, all you could do was lower yourself to the ground to catch your breath.

“What the hell are you doing?”

You didn’t even realise he’d woken up, you were too busy wheezing.

“Gotta pee.” You managed to push your words out between gulped in breaths.

“What did I say last night, huh? You should’a yelled.” He lowered himself beside you, placing one arm around your back and one under your knees. “Alright, brace yourself.”

“Wait, what are you-”

You choked on your words when he lifted you clean off the floor, a feat that not many had accomplished in the past. He offered to take you as far as the toilet itself but you adamantly refused, determined to cling onto your last shred of dignity while just about managing to shuffle over there, supporting yourself on the sink.

You washed your hands and intentionally avoided looking in the mirror, moving straight over to the door and finding your minder stood directly outside.

He folded his arms. “While you’re here, why not take a quick shower?”

“I’m not supposed to get my dressings wet.”

“Again, nice try, but you really gotta do better than that to bullshit me.”

You let out a heavy sigh. “Can’t you just let me rot away in peace?”

“I mean, I could, but I’m pretty sure your dad would refuse to pay me.”

“I’ll pay you to leave me alone.”

“You can’t afford me, honey.” He smirked and slipped past you. “I’ll get the water going.”

James turned the shower on and put some folded towels by the sink before heading back into your room and gathering some clean pyjamas. You just stayed where you were, leaning against the counter, as he buzzed around like an overexcited child.

“You’re all set. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

“Thank you, supernanny.”

He flipped you the bird. You laughed and locked the door.

Slowly, carefully, you got undressed, removed your bandages and placed them in the bin. You then had to perch yourself down on the closed toilet seat for a brief break before climbing into the shower. Standing under the water, you looked down at your wound for the first time in weeks, finding yourself amazed at how quickly it had healed. You ran your fingers over it. Never in a million years did you think you’d have a healed gunshot wound anywhere on your body. You thought back to what your aunt said, maybe it was unsightly, it certainly looked weird from this ang-

“You alright?”

James’ overbearing voice snapped you out of your train of thought.

“Yes.”

You turned off the shower and stepped out, lifting a towel to your face and savouring the feeling of finally being clean again. You couldn’t imagine how bad you must’ve smelled before. You pulled on the fresh pyjamas before taking a deep breath and wiping down the mirror, getting a nasty shock when you saw yourself. It looked like all the life had been drained out of you. Your face looked pallid, red eyes sitting above deep, dark bags while skin flaked from your chapped lips. Your hair was still dripping wet but you could tell that weeks of neglect had taken a toll on it.

It seemed like James might’ve come along just in time, any longer sitting in that misery pit and these changes might’ve become irreversible.

“Still all good?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, just trying to remember the most efficient way to cut wrists. Is it horizontal or vertical?”

Throwing your towel in the laundry basket, you opened the door to see a very unamused looking man.

“Real funny.”

He didn’t get a chance to properly scold you before Elaine knocked on the door with breakfast, a smug grin settling on your face as it dawned on him that he probably shouldn’t cuss you out in front of your father’s closest confidante.

The two of you settled into your designated spots. James immediately started digging into the plate that had been piled high for him but you held off, it had been a while since you stood up for that long and you needed to recover. Sharp pangs of stomach pain weren’t exactly the perfect accompaniment to a hearty appetite.

James placed his fork down on the table and leaned back in his chair, mouth full of food. “We gotta do this again, buttercup?”

“I just need a minute.”

“I thought we had a deal.”

“We did,” a bolt of inspiration struck as you realised it was your turn to get a little something interesting out of this relationship, “but I want to change it up a bit.”

“Alright, go on.”

“I’ll eat if you tell me the most insane thing that’s happened to you while bodyguarding.”

“I really shouldn’t talk about that.”

“Shame,” you dramatically pushed your plate away with a flourish, “I was actually feeling pretty hungry.”

He considered, glaring at you from beneath an arched eyebrow and rhythmically tapping his fingers against the arm of the chair. “Fine, but you gotta finish the whole plate.”

“The whole plate.”

“Alright.”

He leant forward again and carried on eating so you followed suit, forcing down one small bite at a time and just hoping that his story would be worth the pain.

“So, one time some rich dude hired me ‘cause his daughter was worried she had a stalker. Apparently she kept seeing someone in a black hoodie following her around, she even saw ‘em standing on their lawn a few times. Thing is, no-one else had ever seen it. I think half the reason I was hired was to figure out if she was just going crazy.”

“Was she?”

“Be patient, pumpkin. You’ll find out.” Your cheeks flushed a little when he called you that. “A couple weeks passed and I hadn’t seen anything. Then, middle of the night, everyone else was asleep and I was doing my rounds. I looked out the window to the yard and there was someone standing underneath her window in a black hoodie.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit. So, obviously, I sprinted down there, but they spotted me and started running. They vaulted the fence and I would’a lost ‘em in the trees but they got snagged on the other side. I grabbed ‘em, pulled down the hood and-” He eyed the huge fork-full of food you were hovering by your mouth, “you wanna eat that?”

You rolled your eyes, shoved it all in your face and let out a muffled plea. “And?”

“It was her, the daughter.”

“Fuck off.”

“Dead serious. Turns out one of her friends had a stalker and was getting a load of sympathy and attention because of it, so she got jealous and made up one of her own. She figured if I saw it just once everyone would believe her.”

“That’s so fucked. Is that even legal?”

“No idea, not my job. I got my paycheck and left the next morning.”

“Nice to know you really care about your clients.”

He laughed. “Most of my clients are spoiled assholes who never even bother to learn my name.”

“Really? Can’t be hard to learn a name as simple as Justin.” You received your second unamused scowl of the day. “Anyway, we spoiled brats have enough on our plate without having to learn the name of the person willing to take a bullet for us.”

“Nah, you’re not spoiled.”

“You think?”

“Trust me, I’ve seen spoiled. You’re not spoiled. I think you’re the only client I’ve actually enjoyed talking to.”

Interesting. Probably shouldn’t delve into that statement too deeply.

“I’d take that as a compliment but it sounds like there isn’t much competition.”

He smirked, staying silent for a few seconds before speaking again. “My friends call me Bucky, by the way. I prefer it to James. And I really prefer it to Justin.”

“If you insist,” you shrugged, “but I still think you’d make a good Timberlake.”

---

You managed to stomach a good amount of food that day and you even had a good stab at breakfast when the next day rolled around, so you hoped that Bucky might leave you to your own devices for a while now he’d got his own way.

He did not.

As soon as you’d swallowed the last mouthful of toast he announced that he was going to take you on a walk around the garden.

You looked from him to your stomach, then back at him. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. We’ll take it slow, one step at a time, and it’ll make you feel better. I promise.”

“Can’t we just open a window?”

“Nope.” He slapped his hands down on the arms of the chair and jumped to his feet. “C’mon sweetheart, you know I’m just gonna annoy the hell out of you until you agree.”

“Is threatening me allowed in your contract?”

“It’s not a threat. It’s persuasion with consequences.”

You eventually relented. He was super keen to get going but it soon became clear that he’d overestimated how far along the healing process you were, it took the two of you almost an hour just to get out of your bedroom and down the stairs with all the constant stopping for breath. Bucky went ahead and pulled open the sliding glass door, your mood instantly lifting when the first breeze of fresh air washed over you. You were starting to hate how often he was right.

He offered you his arm and set a bench on the other side of the lawn as your goal. The neatly mowed grass felt soft between your toes, the faint sounds of birds and planes overhead helping you relax a great deal more than the constant background noise from the TV you’d kept switched on for weeks now. When you reached your goal, Bucky helped you lower yourself onto the seat and carefully squeezed himself beside you once you were settled. Sitting this close to him felt strange, you were used to him being confined to his armchair, and the bench was a pretty small one. His thigh was pressed up against yours. You tried not to think about it.

Deeply inhaling the smell of grass and flowers into your lungs made you feel like a new person but it was also making you a little drowsy, the journey down had zapped all your energy and the warmth from the morning sun was cosy and soothing.

The next thing you remembered was your head being gently nudged, prompting your eyes to flicker open.

“Sorry, princess. I’d let you sleep for hours but I really need to pee.”

You came to your senses and felt the crook of Bucky’s neck against the top of your head. His arm was around you, hand gently resting on your shoulder.

“Shit, sorry.” In your embarrassment you sat up a little too quickly, wincing at the pain that shot through your stomach.

“You alright?”

“Oh, yeah. Just, y’know, the ol’ bullet would.” You laughed off his concern and waved him away. “Go pee.”

“Alright, I’ll just be a minute, don’t move.”

“Couldn’t if I wanted to.”

He was already sprinting across the lawn when he shouted back. “That’s the spirit, sunshine.”

You shot a giddy grin at the back of his head. It still felt like morning but you had no idea how long you’d been knocked out for, you just knew you could very easily spend every night resting in Bucky’s neck like that.

---

Your shadow had been with you for about a week now and, contrary to all initial expectations, you’d actually been enjoying his company. He could be annoying as hell with his constant demands pushing you further and further when all you wanted to do was melt into the couch, but you could see that he was good for you. You supposed that being forced to spend every second of every day with someone gave you no choice but to recognize their good qualities. Thankfully, he seemed to have a lot of those.

Elaine had just collected the dishes from lunch and Bucky had somehow stolen the remote from you. He flicked on some appallingly trashy reality show, your concentration faded in and out but every time you forced yourself to pay attention someone was either screaming or necking.

You’d barely even registered the knock at your bedroom door when he jumped up and launched himself towards it like the diligent little soldier he was. You listened intently, your stomach turning when you heard Carol’s voice interspersed with his. Hopefully he’d assess her as a security threat and slam the door in her stupid face.

To your great disappointment, he did not.

“Oh my,” she looked a little more like a painted old hag than a pantomime dame today, “who is that and where can I get one?”

“That’s James, dad hired him to keep an eye on me.”

“Do you know which agency he’s with?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t uncle Frank leave you the house and the security guard in his will?”

“Ugh, yes but he could’ve been a bit more thoughtful. I’d rather not have to look at that beer belly every time I drive through the front gate.”

“I see.”

You tried to plead for help from Bucky with your eyes but he was too busy giving a confused look to the back of her embroidered jacket, the one that you were convinced had been made from old curtains and lampshade tassels. She placed herself down in his seat, leaving him bewildered, turning on the spot like a glitched out video game NPC. He eventually just sat beside you.

“So,” she crossed her veiny old legs, “did you like the present I brought you before?”

You did not like the present she brought you before. It was a self help book whose blurb encouraged you to 'break free from your own mental cage' and 'start being the best version of you'. That mindset is incredibly toxic, Carol. Therapists and antidepressants exist for a reason, Carol. Not everyone can make themselves feel better by getting sloppy wine drunk on their dead husband's money every evening, Carol.

“Yeah, it was great. Thanks.”

“I knew you'd love it, so I brought you something else.” She scurried around in her comically oversized purse for a while before pulling out a small white tub. “It's that miracle balm I told you about, for the scar.”

She noiselessly mouthed the word scar and covered the side of her mouth so Bucky couldn't see, like it was a dirty word, like she couldn't bear to think of the handsome man in the room knowing about such an ugly thing.

“Oh right, thanks but I'm not really supposed to put anything on it while it's still healing. Could get infected.”

“No honey, if you let that thing heal on its own you'll regret it, trust me.”

“Well, the doctor said-”

“Baby, look at me.” The legs became uncrossed as she leaned in. “I'm going to be honest now because I love you. Your body is a five out of ten, maybe a six if you did a cleanse.”

“Right…”

“Now, with this hideous thing sitting on your stomach, you're down to a three. I don't want that for you, do you?”

You were speechless for a second. The words fuck off were just beginning to form in your mouth when she cut you off, turning her attention to the equally pissed looking Bucky.

“How about a man's perspective, hmm? You wouldn't want a partner with something so ghastly on them, would you?”

The calmness with which he answered her was pretty impressive.

“Well, to be honest, I couldn't give a fuck, cause I tend to rate personality higher. Like you, for example, are two out of ten but with a few lessons in grace and courtesy, I could see you moving up to a solid five.”

Your mouth fell open. The breath hitched in your lungs as your eyes flicked between the two of them, one looking outraged, the other looking very fucking pleased with himself. The silence was tense.

After a few seconds she leapt up and stormed out of the room, her heels rapidly clicking against the floor while she screeched your father's name.

Bucky just shrugged at you. “Guess her own medicine didn’t taste too sweet.”

“That was amazing.”

“I'm used to dealing with assholes like that,” he followed her lead, standing up and heading for the door, “but, unlucky for her, I'm in charge of who gets access to this room.”

“You can ban her?”

“If I think she's causing you harm I can do whatever I want.”

“You’re my new favourite person.”

“Can I get that in writing?”

He’d been gone for a while when some muffled shouting started downstairs. Too invested in the situation not to investigate, you decided to slide yourself off the couch and press your ear to the floor in an effort to make out the words. It didn’t work, obviously, and you soon realised there was no way in hell you’d be able to hoist yourself back up again. You just had to wait on the ground while your dignity slowly drained away piece by piece.

Bucky eventually returned, predictably freaking out when he spotted you.

“Shit, what happened? Did you fall?”

“No I kinda… slid.” He gave you a puzzled look while lifting you back onto the couch. “Sorry, I was trying to hear the argument. What happened?”

“She won't be bothering you again.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Can I keep you forever?” You rested your head against the couch cushions. “I’ll let you watch as much trash TV as you want.”

“Don't threaten me with a good time.”

---

A week passed and then another, and with each day you were achieving more and more. Bucky had you showering every day, eating three square meals and taking increasingly lengthy walks around the garden- when your painkillers were doing their job. He’d even spoken to your father about making sure everyone in the house waited for a response after knocking on your door. It sounded like an insignificant thing but you really valued every ounce of privacy you could get your hands on, and it did wonders for improving your mood.

Another thing that was helping in that regard was spending most of your downtime just talking with him. On more than a few occasions you’d actually forgotten he was being paid to stick around, it felt more like you were hanging out with an old friend.

Sometimes it felt like you were hanging out with more than a friend but, every time those feelings started to surface, you quickly pushed them back down into the dark depths in your mind. Acknowledging them would just set you up for inevitable disappointment.

Today, you’d agreed to leave your father’s property for the first time since the incident. Bucky had offered to take you out for a coffee as a soft reintroduction back into the normal world. He drove you out in his ridiculously oversized SUV, passing plenty of perfectly good coffee shops so he could show you his favourite one. It didn’t look like anything special but you trusted him.

He helped you to one of the outside tables, took your order and shuffled inside, giving you a wink over the top of his sunglasses. You rested your hands on the table and glanced around. The street was busy with people and cars and most of the other tables were full, it was midday so you figured most of them were working people taking their lunch breaks.

Then, just for a second, out of the corner of your eye you saw someone in the street stop. Looking over, you made brief eye contact with them before they checked their watch and continued walking. Why were they looking at you? Your eyes darted around the other faces passing by, your panic starting to rise when another of them looked your way.

You grabbed onto the edge of the table, your palms prickling with sweat. The quickening pace of your heart made it harder and harder to pull breath into your lungs, all the muscles in your legs started to tense and your vision blurred at the edges.

“You okay?”

Two takeout cups were hastily abandoned on the table in front of you and a soothing hand landed on your back, Bucky’s face trying to make its way into your line of sight.

“Mhmm.”

“I told you not to bullshit me. What happened?”

“Nothing, really. I just-” You pulled in a stuttering breath. “Need to adjust.”

“Pretty hard to do that when you’re mid panic attack, no? C’mere.”

He turned you round to face him and took you through some breathing exercises, helping you get back in control. The worst of the storm eventually passed but you were pretty shaken up, and he could tell.

“Maybe this was too soon.”

“No, this is good. It probably would’ve happened even if we'd waited longer. Better to get it out of the way.”

“And what if the coffee had taken another ten minutes? You would’a just passed out while I was waiting for fucking milk to foam.”

He seemed angry, but not at you.

“It’s okay, Buck. Really. I could’ve been hit by a truck on the walk over from the car but wasn’t, so why worry about it.”

“Still, we should get you somewhere less crowded,” he took you by the hand, which was unusual, cause he usually just guided you with a flat palm on the back, “probably should’ve started with that.”

You headed back to the car, Bucky somehow juggling you along with two hot drinks, and drove a few miles out of the city. He said he knew of a short, flat hiking trail out in the woods that was only ever busy on weekends. It wasn’t exactly the reintroduction into society that the two of you had planned but, at the very least, it was a step above walks around the yard.

He calmed down once you began walking, the jolly, laid back, Bucky that you were used to quickly resurfacing. It was a huge relief, him being on edge made you on edge and that wasn’t exactly the optimum mood for avoiding another panic attack.

He kept a firm arm around you most of the way, anchoring you to him and protecting you against potential falls. You were pretty sure they were the only reasons.

“I must look fucking dreadful,” you chuckled, “if we bump into anyone they’ll probably think you just found me in the woods.”

“Shut up, you look great.”

“For a three-week-old corpse.”

“A corpse wouldn’t argue back so much.”

“I’m just keeping you on your toes.”

“Damn right you are.”

You smiled to yourself, hearing the warmth in his voice, and decided now was a good time to finally ask him a question you’d been thinking about for a while.

“So, you’ve really never had another client you’ve enjoyed talking to? Not even one?”

“Not that I can remember.” He shrugged slightly. “Why are you so surprised, anyway? We both know how many assholes there are out there.”

“True. I just think you’re easy to talk to, I guess. I’m surprised no-one else made the effort.”

“That’s sweet of you doll, but you should know that just letting me sit by you was completely new for me. I usually don’t even get a chair, never mind a conversation.”

“Brutal. I’m glad the shelter rehomed you with us.”

“Me too.”

You laughed for a second before realising that all this talking had used up your pitiful lung capacity. You came to a stop, Bucky quickly moving to stand in front of you.

“Something wrong?”

“No, I could just use a break.”

“Take as long as you need,” he placed his hands on your upper arms, “we can sit for a while if you want.”

“I’m good.”

Without thinking, you placed both hands on his chest to steady yourself, immediately realising that it was kind of a weird thing to do. Your eyes shot up to his but he was just smiling softly, seemingly unbothered.

The two of you held that position for what felt like an age.

Then, slowly, cautiously, his hands moved down to rest on your lower back, just above your hips. He stepped in closer and your hands tensed, grabbing two fistfuls of his shirt. He lowered his head, your eyes fluttering closed as his lips met yours. You eagerly reciprocated, curling a hand around the back of his neck in a feeble attempt to keep him there as long as you could. It fell, however, when he abruptly pulled away, your arms going limp at your sides.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay, I-”

“It’s not. Jesus, I’m supposed to be looking after you.” He rubbed his eyes. “We should get back.”

“Can you just wait for a second? I’m not-”

“No.” He was stern, he’d never talked to you like that before. “We’re going back to the car, now.”

You were too shocked to argue. The walk back was tense and the drive home was the same, you looked over at him a few times but his stony expression encouraged you to keep quiet. You knew you hadn’t done anything wrong, and neither had he in your eyes, but you really had to keep reminding yourself of that. It felt like you’d committed a crime.

Once home, you headed up to your room but he didn’t follow, which was unusual. When your father knocked on your door later and told you that Bucky had removed himself from duty, you weren’t surprised. He claimed that a big job had come up out of nowhere.

He never even said goodbye.

---

You hadn’t so much as heard from Bucky since he left over a month ago. You’d maintained all his rituals and kept your healing process on track, adapting your daily walks so you could do them alone, sticking nearby walls and railings. It was a real struggle, emotionally and physically, but you were determined not to let him abandoning you knock you off course. You didn’t even let yourself cry when he left. You were just angry.

So, naturally, when a chance for you to prove to yourself how far you’d progressed without him came around, you jumped at it. A friend of your father’s was throwing a birthday party for his daughter, you’d never been able to stand her but you hadn’t had a proper drink since the incident- and the booze there would be insanely expensive stuff. Plus, you’d been pining for any excuse to wear something other than pyjamas.

You strolled into the party, arm in arm with your father, and you felt good. You felt ready to be there. That was, until you saw who was working security detail. You barely recognised him in the full black bodyguard suit, you were so used to a t-shirt and jeans, but it was definitely him. Your evening was instantly ruined as you started mentally plotting the best way to avoid him.

You decided a good first step was to head straight to the bathroom to compose yourself, giving yourself the same pep talk in the mirror that you’d given the day after he left. You’d come too far to let him fuck up your first big outing. You dabbed the nervous sweat from your upper lip, adjusted your outfit and gave yourself a nod. You could do this. You just needed to stay away.

Wandering back into the party, you looked around for your father, the only person in the room you had any interest in talking to. You heard your name being called over the music and turned towards it. There he was, standing beside Bucky, beckoning you over.

So your plan was fucked, then.

Your stomach tightened. You grabbed a drink from a nearby table and moved over reluctantly.

“There you are. Listen, James was just telling me about the big job he was called to, it sounds incredibly interesting.”

“Oh, really?”

You took a big gulp of champagne, wondering if Bucky’s fictitious story was as good as the real one he’d told you over breakfast that time. Or maybe that one was all made up, too. You glanced over and accidentally caught his eye for a second, but he quickly broke away and looked back at your father.

“I probably shouldn’t go into any more detail.”

“Of course not, I wouldn't want you getting in trouble.” You involuntarily scoffed at your father’s words but managed to play it off as a cough. “It’s such a shame, though. You two seemed to really be getting on well together.”

Your father looked back and forth between the two of you like he was watching a tennis match, unaware of how painfully awkward the lingering silence was. You finished off your champagne and grabbed a fresh glass from a passing waiter, looking around the room for any excuse to leave this conversation. Unfortunately, your father found one first.

“Ah, there’s the birthday girl, I’d better go pass on some well wishes. I’ll leave you two to catch up.”

You cringed as he walked away. Quickly deciding that it was better to not even attempt conversation, you just silently nodded at Bucky and turned to leave. You didn’t get far, however, as he grabbed hold of your arm and stepped towards you.

“Can we talk?”

You were incredibly shocked but tried to play it off. “I guess."

“In private?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you glared down at his hand, “but I would like it if you let go of my arm.”

“Sorry.”

He released his grip and you took a small step away, putting a safe distance between your faces. You were still pissed off at him, that much was for sure, but you weren’t ready to trust yourself being in such close proximity to him again. Anything could happen.

“I get why you’re pissed at me, I would be too. I just need to explain.”

“I know why you did what you did, Buck. You don’t need-”

“Please. Someone’s taking over my shift in ten minutes, will you meet me upstairs?”

“Upstairs? Like, past the rope with the big no guests allowed sign?”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to sneak past,” he smirked slightly, “I heard the security here sucks.”

He was right, too. You got up there with absolutely no trouble whatsoever.

All of the doors off the hallway were closed apart from one, at the very end. You took a gamble and slowly approached, peeking your head round to see Bucky perched on the edge of a huge bed. He shot up when he spotted you in the doorway.

“Sorry, I know this is kinda weird, it's the only room that wasn’t locked or, y’know… occupied.”

“Lovely.”

He nodded and gave you a smile. “You look great. Amazing, actually. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” his smile melted you a little, “mostly thanks to you.”

“Ah, you would’a been fine, I just annoyed you into being fine a bit sooner.”

You nervously rubbed the back of your head, in disbelief at how quickly he’d broken through your thick wall of resentment. You scrambled around trying to gather up some of the bricks and rebuild but being in the presence of that slick motherfucker was making it really difficult.

You gathered your thoughts, took a breath and spoke.

“Buck, like I said downstairs, you don’t need to explain. Obviously making out with your clients is a fireable offence, I get that, so you had to leave. Everyone makes mistakes.”

“You think I left ‘cause of that? You think some shitty job is more important to me than you?”

“I mean, yeah, kinda.”

“Jesus, I really am an asshole.” You gave him a confused frown as he reached out and took both of your hands in his. “Look, I couldn’t give a shit about this job, there’s bodyguarding positions everywhere and most of them don’t involve babysitting rich assholes. I left ‘cause I felt like I’d taken advantage of you. I couldn’t stand it.”

“Huh?”

“You were in a bad place. You were vulnerable and I was supposed to be looking after you, not- y’know...”

“Sucking face?”

He chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Right, but you do remember that I’m not a child, yeah? Just because I’m feeling shitty doesn’t mean I can’t make decisions for myself.”

“But it does mean your judgement is at least a little impaired.”

“Fine, whatever, but it isn’t anymore.” You squeezed his hands. “And I’m telling you now as a fully sane, rational adult that you didn’t do anything wrong. Alright?”

A relieved smile spread across his face. “Alright.”

“Good, cause I made a decision and I’m sticking to it.

“Might be a bad decision.”

“Sometimes bad decisions are more fun.”

“You can say that again.”

Your second kiss with Bucky was, somehow, even better. He was more sure of himself this time, less cautious, he moved in quicker. You did the same, wrapping both arms around his neck and letting him take some of your weight. You felt him smile against you as a hand dived into the back of your hair.

Now this was a kiss worth being fired for.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “For the record, the first time wasn’t a mistake. It was a… happy accident.”

“Whatever you say,” you chuckled, “I’m just glad we bumped into each other again.”

“Oh, we didn’t. I took this job after checking the guestlist.”

“You sneaky fucker.”

“You know it.”

---

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myfictionaldreams · 1 year

Text

Day 3: Double Penetration - Steve/Bucky

Kinktober Day 3: Double Pentration - Steve/Bucky x f!reader

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, hatefucking, threesome, nicknames, size difference, choking, lots of swearing, discussion of masturbation, oral (m and f receiving), multiple orgasms, piv sex, anal sex, anal fingering, cum swallowing no use of y/n

my main masterlist 📚 // kinktober masterlist😈 // AO3 Link

You couldn’t get away from them quick enough, feet aching with each stomp as you exited the quinjet into the Avengers tower.

Tony was waiting at the entryway, “good mission then?” he smirked, having already listened to the argument on the comms between you and the two assholes and Tony being a smug prick rushed to welcome you back to the building. He had also been the other option to go on the mission but nope, you had to draw the short straw and endure the suffering of the two super soldiers.

It wasn’t like you attended these missions in a foul mood, prepared to argue, you were always keen to follow the instructions given by Fury. However, like usual, the two men had nearly caused you to be compromised thanks to Steve’s superiority complex, putting himself directly into the middle of the action instead of following the stealth instructions. This meant that you spent more time fighting off people than trying to save the captors and by the time you were aiding them out of the hell hole they were being kept in, you were shattered and bruised. Especially as you were not able to heal as quickly as the other two, it wasn’t as simple as having a drink and walking it off before continuing with the action.

This led to a shouting match on the journey home, with Bucky backing up Steve’s actions leaving you 2 vs 1 as per usual. You were fed up following them around, nearly getting killed AGAIN because of their stupid decisions, you weren’t going to let them get away with it for much longer.

Dropping your bag onto the floor beside Tony, you huffed irritated, “I’m never going on another mission with those assholes ever again Stark, keep them out of my way”. Your feet couldn’t walk you quick enough as you rushed to the tower elevator, not stopping to listen to whatever shit Steve and Bucky had to say, relief easing your muscles as the doors finally closed and you were alone.

It was hours later when you were finally in bed, having showered, applied cream to the forming bruises on your arms and legs and had some shitty film on in the background.

Just as your eyes were dropping with exhaustion, did a firm knock sound at your door. Your heart plummeted in your chest, not having any energy to have a discussion with anyone right now. “Yes? What do you want?” you asked dryly.

No one answered which only caused you to roll your eyes and release another exasperated sigh as you heaved your body from the bed, once again stomping to show your displeasure and hastily swinging the door open.

“Oh for fucks sake, what do you both want? I thought we agreed to debrief tomorrow?” Stood before you were the two men you least wanted to see in the world. Gone were their expensive superhero suits and instead replaced with matching grey SHIELD t-shirts that hug their muscles, along with some dark grey joggers, hair slightly damp from recent showers.

Bucky was the one to respond, chuckling deeply and rolling his shoulders to relieve the tension and displaying his obvious annoyance. “It’s not the debrief Doll, that’s not why we’re here”.

Moving your weight from one foot to another, folding your arms sternly across your chest as you moved, glancing between the two men you replied, “well, what the fuck do you want, I was just about to get some well-deserved sleep”.

Steve now inched forward, standing to his full height, making your neck strain back further to look him in the eye, “let us in, this isn’t a conversation for the corridor”.

For some reason his words sent a panic through your thoughts, he never spoke to you in that calm tone, maybe something had truly gone wrong in the mission and needed discussing.

Contemplating it for a moment and glancing behind you to check your room and to see it in an organised manner, you moved to the side, holding the door open further for them both to enter.

Steve and Bucky stepped in and you noticed the way both of their eyes flicked to every inch of your room, assessing it, even this pissed you off, it was your safe space they should stop being so nosey but you refrained from sighing again as you shut the door, turning to face them, leaning into the wood.

“Well? What is it then?”

Neither answered immediately, both still walking around the room slowly.

Bucky spoke first, but not about why he was here, “I didn’t have you as a book reader” he mumbled, hand skimming over the book you’d left open at your desk.

This time you couldn’t hold back the sigh and rolling of your eyes for what felt like the 100th time that day, “so you’ve come to my room to talk about books?”

Steve turned to you now, pointing in your direction, “there you go again, sighing like being in our presence really is some horrific burden”.

“I mean it is, I’ve not exactly kept this a secret, Rogers” you retorted, walking further into the room.

Bucky shook his head in a condescending manner. “You’ve got a real mouth on you, you know that Doll?”

Snapping your head towards Bucky you couldn’t help the aggressive tone as you snapped, “I’ve asked you to stop calling me Doll, I’m not one of your stupid dames from the 1920s”.

Neither men responded, instead, they looked towards one another, still wandering slowly around the room before Steve settled on the edge of the bed, a sight you never thought you would see and one that you weren’t sure how to feel about, it sent a sort of thrill through you but you shook it off as he began talking.

“You know, Stark mentioned something to us after you stomped off like a child”.

You scoffed, “fuck off Rogers-”

“Let me finish. He mentioned something that we initially shrugged off, in fact, it sort of repulsed us at first but the more we thought about it, the more it started to make sense”.

Steve left you pondering on his statement, “well? What did Stark suggest?”

You watched as Steve stood, taking strong steps towards you, distracting you from Bucky as he too stepped closer from behind. It wasn’t until they stood only a step away that you became a little apprehensive, neck once again straining to look up at the blonde.

“He suggested that we all needed a god, hard, fuck to get over whatever tension there is between us”.

You laughed. Hard. Like really belly laughed until tears were dripping from the corner of your eyes. You had also expected both of them to laugh as well at the ridiculous notion that had been presented to you but they both were watching you with hard expressions. “Wait, you aren’t joking? You can’t be fucking serious, do you really think I want to touch either of you? What a joke.”

Bucky’s cool metal hand was quick as he cupped your throat, cutting off your laughter, his grip hard enough to have you struggling against him but still be able to suck in small breaths. “What the fuck are you doing Barnes?”

Steve began tutting, “No, here’s the thing, you are going to listen to us for once”, he raised his hand to grip your cheeks so that your mouth smushed together so you reached up to hold onto his thick wrist, hoping to ease the grip he had but of course, he didn’t budge. It also didn’t help the situation that you were dressed for bed in only an oversized t-shirt and underwear.

“You have been a pain in our sides since you joined the team, but, we won’t take away that you are an asset on these missions but that doesn’t explain the reason as to why you decided to fight us tooth and nail with every single fucking thing that we do”.

Steve took a breath to calm himself before continuing, “now when Stark said his stupid idea we both brushed him off, but then we thought about it more and more. The way the tension was always thick in the air when the three of us are together, the way my cock twitches in the shower when I think about you in that uniform of yours. We all clearly just need to get things off of our chest or at least…get each other off”.

His lips smirked up as you contemplated this. But surely they couldn’t be serious right? This had to be some big practical joke… but then again, you couldn’t deny the initial attraction that you had when you’d first seen them. I mean, who wouldn’t be attracted to Captain fucking America and the Winter Soldier? They were tall, handsome, incredibly strong, you couldn’t help the schoolgirl crush the first time you’d been introduced to them.

However, after spending more time with them and seeing their arrogance and self-righteousness attitude, you’d ignored that impulse that had struck through you. So no, there was no way that you were actually contemplating this, he had to be making this up.

You were about to try and shove him off again but as your eyes dropped low, you could see the very prominent and remarkably sizeable shape that had formed in his joggers, maybe that serum did more than grow them in height and strength.

Steve caught you staring at his erection, glancing wickedly up to Bucky behind you as he stepped closer, both of their bodies now touching yours so that you could now feel Bucky’s firm rod being prodded into your lower back.

Ok so they were both definitely into this and your mind was racing, images flashing through your mind as to the potential of whatever it was that they were asking for, and your body betrayed your strong willpower as arousal hummed through and in between your legs, causing you to rub your thighs together to ease the tension.

The blonde noticed, his eyes lowering to watch before glazing back towards your face with half-lidded eyes, his pupils widely dilated with arousal.

Pushing on his wrist that was still firmly gripping your cheeks, he let go as you tried to speak with confidence, “fine, if we do this, it doesn’t mean that I’ll stop hating you guys because I still fucking do, but I’ll do whatever it is that you want to do”.

Steve didn’t seem convinced, “not quite what we were hoping to hear. It’s not just what we want to do, I need you to say it’s what you want as well, otherwise, we’re walking straight out of here and not returning and you can continue to think about us whilst in the shower, rubbing between your legs, shouting our names like our super soldier serum can’t hear between floors at just what you do after a mission”.

Your cheeks were burning hot, it had only been a few occasions that you’d done this, you just felt so wound up that you needed to relieve the tension and they both just happened to be the first people you thought of whilst masturbating.

“Fine Rogers, I want this ok? So hurry up and fuck me so I can kick you both out of my room”.

Steve chuckled darkly, squaring his shoulders as he looked above your head towards Bucky and gave a quick nod in his direction.

Bucky’s metal arm finally released your neck, allowing you to take a deep breath in for only a second before you were having his hands grip your thighs, lifting you up until you were folded up against Bucky’s chest, legs now spread in his grip. Scared that you might fall, you reached behind to grip the back of Bucky's head, pulling on his shoulder-length hair.

Steve took a step back, admiring the view before him, and without wasting another moment, he gripped your underwear in two places and effortlessly ripped them in half, chucking the offending material somewhere over his shoulder, now leaving you completely exposed to him.

“Even though you are the fucking bane of my life, I’ve always wanted to do this”, his voice was dark and gruff as he spoke, face inching forward before finally pouncing onto your moistening cunt. Your shout for euphoria made your ears ring from the volume but you couldn’t help it as he didn’t hold back at all, eating you out like a man starved.

His tongue delved deep between your folds, making sure not to miss a single nerve ending, spending specific time to push it into your eager hole, loving how he knew the exact spot to flick his tongue to have your head falling back against Bucky’s shoulder. He then spent time concentrating on your clit, kneading it with his tongue, rotating in circles, sucking it into his mouth, everything so deliciously pleasurably that you were pulling Bucky’s hair harsher, shout out as it all came crashing down, the waves of pleasure pulsing through you.

Steve released your clit slowly, looking up at you with hungry eyes as you tried to regain your breathing, the man definitely knew what he was doing with his tongue that's for sure. Tapping on Bucky’s head, he understand that you wanted to be put down, slowly easing you to your feet.

“My turn”, you seductively whispered, dropping to your knees, ignoring the pinch of pain from the bruises that were on your knees from the mission as you looked up expectedly, mouth wide open and ready.

Both men eased their cocks out of their joggers, leaving the material halfway down their delicious thighs, hands tossing themselves off as they down at you.

“You don’t understand how long I’ve wanted to see you on your knees like this” Bucky explained as he directed you to his cock, pointing it in your face. You were mesmerised by the sheer size of them both, thick and long, it had your mouth watering and also cunt pulsing in anticipation.

Reaching forward you gripped the base of Bucky, making sure to hold his eye contact as you licked along the underside of his cock, wetting it before sucking on his tip and enjoying the way he sucked in a breath at the sensation.

You were only able to take half of his cock to the back of your throat before you were gagging, so you made sure to bob your head, hollowing your cheeks as you moved up, enjoying the salty taste of him. Reaching out with your hand, you gripped onto Steve’s cock, not wanting him to feel lonely as you were able to suck off Bucky and toss off Steve at the same time, loving the sensation of having two of the world's biggest heroes in front of you, falling apart as you used your body.

As tears started to form in your eyes due to gagging over Bucky’s length, you pulled off and started to suck Steve’s cock, alternating between both men’s cock with your mouth or hand. The duo were groaning, hands on the back of your head to hold you there causing strings of saliva to dribble down your chin, mixing with the tears that were flowing down your face from the stimulations

As you tried to take Steve as far as you could into your mouth, the other hand gripping onto Bucky’s member so that it tensed, Steve finally tapped your cheek. Pulling off him, he signalled for you to stand but your knees were wobbly from being in that position so he effectively picked you up, your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you to the bed.

He placed you in the centre of your unmade bed, pulling off his clothes to match Bucky who had already stripped off. As they stood there watching you lean up on your forearms to inspect their every move, Steve asked, “who do you want first, me or Bucky?”

Smirking up at them, you responded, “why do I have to only pick one when I could have you both”. With that you turned on the bed, lying face first and lifted your arse into the air, presenting yourself to the two of them.

Bucky whistled at the sight, “you really think you can take us both?”

“Oh I know I can take you both, now hurry up and fuck me already”.

Bucky chuckled, “always so demanding Doll”, he knelt on the edge of the bed, pulling your leg back causing you to slide and then turning you so you were once more on your back. Looking down at you with an eyebrow raised he asked in a deepened voice, “What? Not going to chastise me for calling you Doll?”

Scoffing you refrained from rolling your eyes, “there's no way I’m having a go at you right now, not when you stand in the way of providing me with orgasms, Barnes”.

“Hmm”, he leaned over you, forearms resting on either side of your head, his mouth close to yours that you thought he might kiss you but he didn’t, instead he shifted his hips closer. “See, I think you secretly love that name, shall we test that theory?”

“What are you-”

Your words became caught in your throat as he began thrusting into your cunt, slowly and tentatively as to not hurt you, doing a good job at really stretching you out, feeling as if you were nearly at your max already but he kept going and going until finally he brushed against your cervix.

“Fuck” you cursed loudly, eyes rolling back now for a completely different reaction as he allowed your time to adjust until finally, his voice snapped you out of the blissful state.

“So how are you feeling… Doll?” Your pussy squeezed around his cock at the nickname, revealing another one of your well-kept secrets that you did, in fact, enjoy him calling you that name.

Bucky’s face was alight with amusement, loving that he had discovered this about you, “I had the suspicion that the name was turning you on, is that why you so desperately fought us to not call you that, was it because you were becoming aroused?”

“Fuck you, Barnes”.

“Actually, I think it’s more fuck you, Doll” he eased his cock out before sliding back in again. Bucky’s hips snapped into yours, starting off slow before building momentum, your cunt clinging to his cock desperately with each thrust.

It turned you on further to think that Steve was standing just beside Bucky watching you being fucked and with the hyperstimulation of his girthy cock and the fact that this was even happening, your orgasm came on quickly and suddenly. You only just had time to warn Barnes that you were cuming, hands grabbing onto his back as your cunt convulsed around him, squeezing him thoroughly.

Not giving you any time to come down from your high, the brunette whilst still balls deep, turned you both over so he was now underneath and you were now lying on his chest. Tiredly, you looked over your shoulder, smiling as Steve climbed onto the bed and remained behind you.

“Come on then Rogers, let’s see what you’ve got to offer”. Steve smirked at your taunting, reaching to your lips to press his fingers against them, hoping you would open them which you did, and sucked on them, coating the two digits with plenty of spit.

Pulling them out, he aimed them towards your puckered hole, easing one finger in at a time, making sure to thoroughly stretch you out, and adding three more fingers until he was satisfied that you would be able to take him without hurting yourself.

All the while Bucky had remained sheathed in your cunt, still thick and hard, you guessed that this had something to do with the serum that he could stay like this for so long. Without any further waiting, Steve’s cock brushed against your asshole, his warm tip taking its time to tease before being eased in. You felt your body trying to tense at being stretched from the second hole but you willed it to relax, and inch by inch disappeared into your hole.

Just as you felt like you were going to explode from fulness, he stopped, breathing heavily himself. “You’re so fucking tight” he muttered between breaths. The sensation was extremely intense, all of your vulnerable nerves were being touched in both the front and the back.

Steve’s hand fell into your hair once he had composed himself, pulling back harshly, effectively lifting you up from Bucky’s chest so that you had to lean your hands on his pecks whilst his hands rested against your breasts, which were still covered in your oversized shirt.

As Steve began to move, making sure to work with Bucky’s movements, you couldn’t believe how incredible pleasuring it felt, it was almost too much as each graze of someone's cock had you twitching to cum.

It was an endless cycle of smacking hips together, orgasming hard and then them continuing. You weren't even sure how many times your pussy had convulsed around them both but by this point you had more dribble leaking down your chin and your mind was filled with white noise. The boys noticed that you seemed to be nearing your end and willed themselves to stop holding back their own orgasms.

“Fuck I’m going to cum” Steve stuttered first, pulling out at the same time as Bucky and man-handling you onto your back on the bed. You couldn’t even feel your legs, you had been well and truly fucked as the two super soldiers knelt over your face, tossing themselves off vigorously.

Noticing their plan, in your deliriously fucked out brain you managed to open your mouth and stick your tongue out in preparation for their cum. Steve was the first to shoot his load into your mouth, not missing a single drop as you eagerly licked your lips to make sure his salty goodness was drunk. Bucky followed him soon after, also cuming in your mouth but having to catch a drip with his thumb, pushing his white seed back into your mouth which you eagerly suck and drank down.

Closing your eyes, you were completely exhausted, only just being able to hear the boys beginning to redress themselves. Smiling to yourself, you managed to croak out, voice laced with tiredness, “could you both kindly fuck off and close the door behind you”.

Both of them chuckled as they exited without another word, leaving you to sleep peacefully.

#steve rogers #bucky #bucky smut #bucky one shot #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers smut #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers x reader #bucky x reader #steve / bucky #marvel smut #marvel #mine*

5K notes · View notes

bossbtch1 · 6 months

Text

Shadows Of The Past

The GIF and picture are not mine; credit goes to the respective artist/creator.

Summary : Bucky's nightmares have returned, and you wanted to make him feel better. However, both of you have different approaches in mind. Bucky then attempts to make a deal with you. What kind of offer will he propose, and will you accept it?

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (No mentions of body type or ethnicity other than the reader being female)

General tags : SMUT, 18, Porn with Plot

TW: Needy!Bucky, Gentle!Bucky, Fluff, Comfort, PTSD, Cuddling, Oral (f receiving), Fingering, Dirty talk, Unprotected sex, Rough Sex, Vaginal sex, Anal sex, Aftercare

Word Count: 7,5k

A/N : Hey there! As I promised, here's the first version of this story. Funny how it was meant to be short fic, but it turned into quite a story, huh? It's around 70% smut, but I've added some sweet fluff and comfort to the mix (so you won't get bored). So, go ahead, dive in! Hope you sin with me!

While you were asleep, a sharp cry pierced the silence, jolting you awake. Your eyes flew open, and your heart raced as you realized the agonized sound came from Bucky. He thrashed against the blankets that had been wrapped snugly around him, his face contorted into a pained grimace, his body glistening with a sheen of sweat.

The nightmares that had haunted him before had returned, and it seemed they were more relentless than ever, plaguing him for weeks. He tried to keep his suffering from you, not wanting you to worry, but he could no longer hide his distress.

Amidst his cries, you could hear him desperately calling out your name, his voice laced with terror. "No! Please no, don't hurt her. Y/N! Y/N!"

Hearing him call for you, pleading with someone who wasn't there, broke your heart. You hated seeing him suffer, and you wished there was some way to ease his pain.

You wanted to blame Shuri, blame Wakanda, blame his therapist. They said he was free of his trigger words, so why couldn't he sleep? Why couldn't he be free from the nightmares?

With a racing heart, you reached out, gripping his quivering shoulder, "It’s okay Bucky,” you whispered, your voice soft but urgent. "You're just having a nightmare, baby. Everything's going to be okay. I'm right here. It's just a dream. Please, just wake up, baby,” you murmured, running your hand gently over his cheek.

But he remained trapped in his own subconscious torment, lost in the depths of his nightmare.

Desperation welled up inside you, and you shook him more vigorously, hoping to pull him back from the horrifying visions that plagued his sleep. "Bucky, please, come back to me. I'm here with you, and I'm safe."

Slowly, his body began to relax and he stopped thrashing, his eyes fluttering open. He sat up, breathing heavily as his eyes frantically searched the room, his face wet with tears.

"Hi, there you are." You smiled, trying to mask the pain in your heart. "It's okay. You were having a nightmare, but it's over now. You're awake. I'm right here. No one can hurt us."

He looked at you, his eyes full of fear, still trying to discern what was real. You could see the fear still lingering in his gaze as he recognized you. "Y/N?" his voice cracked with fear and confusion.

"Yes, Bucky. It's me. I'm right here. See?" taking his trembling hand and placing it over your heart, letting him feel the rhythmic beating. "I'm okay. Everything's okay."

Bucky let out a sigh of relief when he felt the beating of your heart beneath his fingertips, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "Thank god." Burying his face in the crook of your neck. His arms tightened around you as he breathed deeply, the tension slowly leaving his body as he relaxed.

"It's okay, it's over," you whispered reassuringly, running a hand through his hair soothingly.

"I'm so sorry, baby" he murmured against your skin, his lips ghosting over your collarbone, sending a shiver down your spine. "I didn't mean to wake you."

You cupped his face, looking into his eyes, seeing the exhaustion there. "It's okay, really. You don't need to apologize."

His gaze dropped, his fingers tracing idle patterns on the bare skin of your thigh. "I should be better. Stronger. You shouldn't have to deal with this."

"I told you I would be there for you no matter what, and I meant it," you insisted. "It's okay, Bucky," you whispered, holding him close and stroking his back soothingly. "It was just a dream. I'm right here, and I won't let anything harm you."

He clung to you, his grip tight as if he feared letting go would send him spiralling back into the horrors of his dreams. "Y/N," he murmured, his voice strained, "I thought... I thought I lost you.”

"You will never lose me, Bucky," you said firmly, cupping his face and looking him straight in the eye. "Never. I promise."

He let out a shuddering breath, his body relaxing at your words. His breathing began to steady as he focused on your presence, the reality of your touch grounding him. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he confessed, his voice barely audible.

"You don't have to know," you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "You have me, I'll always be here with you. And I'm not going anywhere."

Slowly, the panic receded, the adrenaline subsiding. His grip on you loosened, but he kept his arm around you, needing the reassurance of your touch.

Your fingers carded through his hair, gently working through the knots. "Would you like to talk about what happened?" you asked, your voice gentle and understanding.

He shook his head slightly, his lips forming a hesitant smile. "Not right now. Just being with you is enough."

"Okay, we can just lay here and cuddle. I love cuddling with you." You pressed another kiss to his forehead.

He smiled up at you, his blue eyes meeting yours. "I love you."

You wiped sweat from his face, kissing his temple. "I love you too."

He sighed, closing his eyes and settling back against your chest, listening to the steady beat of your heart. "Thank you, baby. I'm sorry I keep waking you up like this. I don't know why I can't just let go of these nightmares."

"Shush, it's okay, Bucky. You don't need to say sorry.” Your voice was soft, your touch tender as you caressed his face. "We'll face this together. You're not alone."

His eyes met yours, and he gave you a small smile. Then you noticed both of your glasses were empty on the nightstand. As you tried to get up to fetch some water, Bucky caught your hands, holding them gently but firmly. "Where are you going?"

"Just to the kitchen," you replied. "Don't worry, I'll be right back. I'll get us some more water.”

“No, please. Don't go. Just stay with me." He tightened his arms around you, not letting go.

"Please," he pleaded, his voice strained. You could see the panic and desperation in his eyes, the fear of losing you still lingering in his mind.

You didn't want to leave him, and you had never seen him so distraught. You felt his grip tighten around your waist, his arms holding you close to him.

"Okay Bucky, I’ll stay. I’m not going anywhere," you whispered, laying back down beside him. He curled up against you, burying his face in the crook of your neck and clinging to you as if he were afraid you would disappear.

He curled up against you, burying his face in the crook of your neck and clinging to you as if his life depended on it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like this.”

You held him tighter as you murmured soft reassurances. "Shh, it's okay, Bucky. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm here for you."

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? To help you relax?" Your fingers gently stroked his hair as you placed soft kisses on his forehead, offering him the comfort and security he desperately needed.

He looked at you, his gaze intense, the look in his eyes darkening with desire. "No. No." You knew where this was going.

"Why not baby? You know it will make me feel better." His mood changed in an instant, and he suddenly looked predatory, like a wild animal ready to devour its prey.

He didn't even wait for an answer as his lips captured yours in a heated kiss, his hands roaming your body hungrily. He kissed and sucked your neck, his hand trailing down to your thigh and stroking your skin teasingly. He was already hard against your leg.

You broke the kiss, "Bucky no…”

He moved in and began to kiss the nape of your neck, making you moan. "Just a little? I'll be good to you, baby." He said in his best innocent voice. "Please, I need you." he breathed against your neck, his teeth nipping at the sensitive skin.

“We can't keep doing this. Dr. Raynor is very clear about this." Dr. Raynor, his therapist said this wouldn't help him, that it would just be a distraction every time and wouldn't actually help him through his trauma. You both had agreed that she was right.

"Screw the doctor, Y/N. I want you." He pecked a quick kiss to your lips and looked into your eyes, a pleading expression on his face. His hands were everywhere, touching and exploring every inch of your body.

"Will you help me forget about it?" He moved lower to between your thighs. Bucky lifted his head from between your legs and looked at you, "Will you let me pleasure you, my love?"

"No, Bucky. We can't." You said sternly even though your pussy getting wetter by the second. "You know it's not just my decision. We both agree," you whimpered as his finger kept hovering above your pussy, barely touching.

“Mm… I know…” He hummed. “But, I can also see you're getting wet." He slid his hand to touch your panties, rubbing your pussy, feeling the wetness seep through the fabric. "I don't think you want me to stop, doll."

"Mmmm," you moaned and tried to keep yourself from squirming under him. His thumb brushing over your clit and causing you to buck into his touch.

As much as you wanted to give in, you couldn't. You slapped his hands away and sat up. "You know the effect you have on me. That's not something I can control." You said, annoyed.

Then he trailed his hands over your breasts and cupped them, squeezing and kneading, his thumb circling your hardening nipples through the fabric of your dress. You arched your back and pressed into him.

"Doll. Please? I just need a little taste. I'll be good. I'll eat you out, lick your pussy and make you come, let me taste you.” He said, begging, his voice pleading.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep the last bit of your composure. You "Ah! No…” You grabbed his wrist. "I'll do anything for you, but this is not the way. We're not having sex, Bucky."

He grabbed your waist, his hands gripped your hips tightly as he leaned forward, his lips just a breath away from yours.

"If it's going to make you better..." he guided your hand to his crotch, and you could feel how hard he was through his sweats. "You feel that? One look at you and this happened." You wanted to stroke him, but you needed to stay strong, for him.

"Bucky, stop," you pulled away your hand and looked at him. "We talked about this. Why can't you be reasonable?"

"Alright, what if we made a deal?" He asked.

"A deal?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. A deal."

"Go on." You were intrigued.

"No sex, no intercourse, no penetration. How about if I promise that I won't try anything, you let me have a taste. Let me please you."

"Hard pass. You said that the last time and we knew what happened. No." You said firmly, recalling the last time.

"C'mon doll, please? I'll be on my best behavior," he kissed your cheek and whispered in your ear, "I'll make it worth your while, I promise."

"No deal. You're a terrible influence, Bucky Barnes." You moved away from him.

He groaned and leaned closer and bit your ear lightly. You shivered and turned your head slightly. "Okay, if you let me fuck you right now, I'll go see that doctor tomorrow," he offered, and his lips moved over the pulse point on your neck.

You could feel your breath hitching, "Really? You'd go see her willingly?" You beamed at his progress. But you didn't want to cave in yet and give him what he wanted, "But you need to see her regularly after this.”

"How often?" He said, he sucked on your neck, leaving a mark, and started to move on top of you.

"Twice a week, at least," you replied, closing your eyes and enjoying his body against yours as he rubbed his hard-on against you, teasing you through the thin material.

“And what do I get on my end? If I do all that for you, I need something in return. It's a deal. Right?"

"Right," you replied. You thought of what you should do with him. What could you offer in exchange. "You get me?" It sounded absurd even to your own ears. But the look on his face told you that was the best thing you could offer.

Bucky chuckled, "Hmm. That's a very tempting offer." You could see him smiling, and his hands caressing your waist. "But I already got you. Try again, sweets."

You could see how his blue eyes were shining with lust. His pupils dilated, and he licked his lips, his eyes not leaving yours. You could feel his excitement rubbing against your inner thighs.

He moved his hand lower to under your breast. You stilled a moan when his thumb rubbed your nipple. "Okay then, we can have sex as often as you want."

Bucky hummed, and his fingers moved from your breasts to your belly, and lower. "As much as I love that idea, I already get you as often as I want.”

"Oh fuck." You breathed heavily, "Bucky, you're not being fair."

"Says the woman who wants me to go back to that old therapist, so she can dig into my head." He said, his fingers slipping between your legs. "She's annoying. And she asks too many questions."

"She's not annoying. She's just doing her job," you defended Dr. Raynor. Bucky shrugged.

"Fine, I'll suck you off." You could feel yourself getting more and more wet, you wanted him now, but you held back, not yet, not until he agreed to go see Dr. Raynor.

"That's not a bargain, that's just a normal day for us." He said, teasing. "Come on, what are you willing to give me?" He grinned and his tongue traced the outer edge of your ear.

“You're not playing fair." You whined.

"Oh but, baby. I never play fair. So, what are you offering?" He licked your neck and kissed it.

You bit your lips, you knew what to say. You knew exactly what to say. But the only thing is, would you say it? You stared to his blue eyes, those blue ocean that was full of desire.

You stared to his blue eyes, those blue ocean that was full of desire. "Well?" He said, his thumb flicked your lips.

You swallowed hard, your voice barely audible. "You can put it in my ass," you whispered.

Bucky's movements stilled, his eyes narrowing in surprise and confusion. He leaned back slightly, studying your face intently. "I didn’t hear you," he said, his tone demanding an explanation. "What was that?"

Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but you gathered your courage. With a steadying breath, you spoke louder, your voice carrying more conviction this time. "I said, you can put your dick in my ass."

His lips twitched and his eyes crinkled. "Y/N. Look at me." You shook your head, feeling shy.

He moved his hand and took your chin and turned your face towards him. "Are you sure?" He asked, a serious expression on his face.

"Yes," you replied, your voice quivering slightly. "If you agree to go to Dr. Raynor, if you see her and promise to work with her, I'll let you fuck me in the ass."

"Baby, please, don't," he pleaded, his voice laced with both concern and guilt. "I don't want you to force yourself."

"No, no, no, I'm okay. I want this. I'm willing to try. Beside I’ve been thinking about this. So, no. I'm not forcing myself." You reassured him.

"Fuck. Are you sure, baby girl? This is a big step. I can wait. You know that, right? You're worth the wait. If you're not ready, you should tell me. It's not like we're rushing it."

"I'm ready, Bucky. I trust you," you said, your voice firm yet gentle. You paused, your eyes locking onto his, determination shining through. "However, there's a new condition. You need to see your Dr. Raynor regularly. Make it three times a week," you added, your tone unwavering.

He looked at you, his expression conflicted. You didn't want him to back down, "And I will make it worth your while. I'll let you do anything you want with me."

A mischievous smirk played on his lips, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Anything, huh?" he teased.

"Within reason," you quickly clarified, clearing your throat, ensuring there were boundaries even in your desperation to help him.

"Alright. It's a deal. Three times a week and I get to put it in your ass." Bucky agreed, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. You couldn't help but smile too, relief flooding through you. You pulled him close, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"That's how you bargain, baby." He teased you.

“Just kiss me please.” You couldn’t resist him anymore. You missed his dick inside of you, missed the feeling of him thrusting inside you, filling you.

"Only because you asked nicely," he said, his voice tender, before leaning in to give you a quick kiss.

You moaned, "More." You begged, tugging at his hair.

He chuckled and crashed his lips into yours. He pulled you closer, kissing you fiercely. You moaned and opened your mouth, inviting his tongue in. He sucked and swirled his tongue around yours.

Your tongues danced together, fighting for dominance as his hands slid down your body. They landed on your ass and squeezed before he pulled away to pushed your shirt up to your neck, exposing your breasts.

He grinned as he stared at your breast. He cupped them, giving them a squeeze before his thumbs rubbed your hard nipples. You threw your head back and moaned.

He licked a stripe from between your breast to the valley, then to the other breast, giving it the same attention, licking and sucking, then biting lightly.

You moaned at his touch, your breast and your clit felt so sensitive, like you could come any minute. He grinned satisfied by your reaction, he loved how wet and sensitive you got for him. He kissed your neck, biting gently on your skin, leaving his mark on you, he wanted the whole world to know you were his.

"Now, first let me taste that delicious pussy of yours." You gasped as he pulled you toward him and knelt in front of you, putting your legs over his shoulders.

He placed his metal hand on your stomach, and he rubbed your inner thigh to opened your legs wider. He pushed your panties to the side, his hand slowly made his way down to your core, teasing you before inserting his fingers inside you.

You moaned at the sensation. "Bucky, please..." You moaned, desperate for his touch.

"Don't worry baby, I'll give you what you need." He slowly dragged your underwear down. You felt the cool air hit your wet pussy, and you shuddered.

He took a moment to admire the sight of you completely exposed to him, his eyes roamed over every inch of your body. His pupils were blown wide and you could see the desire in his eyes.

"You're so wet, so ready for me." He groaned, his breath tickling your inner thighs.

You felt the tip of his tongue lick a line up to your clit, and you felt a shockwave run through your body. He licked your slit from bottom to top, then he swirled his tongue on your clit, causing you to gasp loudly. He inserted a finger in and started to fuck you fast with his fingers, his tongue licking your clit.

He was so good, his tongue lapping your pussy like a starving man, lapping up your juices, teasing your clit and fucking your hole. You moaned loudly and made him chuckle, "So fucking responsive."

It felt amazing, the sensations of his tongue and fingers was almost too much, but not enough at the same time. His other hands travelled to your nipples, tugging and pulling them, the sensation going straight to your core. He knew exactly how to drive you insane, he was so good at this, and it was so hot.

You could feel your orgasm building, and you tried to hold back. You were so close, but you didn't want to come too soon.

"Do you like this, baby?" He asked, his voice low and husky.

“Yes, I do. It feels so good."

You felt his tongue deep inside of you, lapping and swirling up your juices, while his thumb pressed against your clit making your toes curled. You bucked your hips up to his face, searching for your release.

He added another finger, his fingers pumping in and out, and then curling, hitting the spot inside of you as he continued to eat you out. "I believe this is the spot that gets you going, baby."

"Yes, Bucky." You moaned loudly, not caring about anyone hearing.

His fingers kept stroking you, and his tongue was licking and flicking your clit. "Please don't stop."

"Come for me baby, scream my name." He pumped faster, curling his finger harder. He went up to your clit, sucking and biting. His flesh hand on your breast, twisting your nipples. He pinched your nipple hard, and you came.

Your orgasm hitting you hard. "Ahh. Bucky. Mmmhhh.. Yes, yes, ahh.."

He slowly stopped, his lips leaving your pussy. He pulled out his fingers and licked them clean, moaning at the taste. "Mmhh, so sweet."

"Thank you Bucky." You pulled his head toward you so you could kiss him. He came up and kissed you passionately. You could taste yourself in his mouth and it was so hot.

"We're not done yet, babydoll," he murmured, his voice deep and husky, sending shivers down your spine. He held your gaze with intensity. "The deal is still on, but first, I need to fuck that tight pussy," he continued, his tone low and seductive, making your heart race with anticipation.

He pushed his briefs down exposing his rock hard erection. You bit your lip, admiring the sight in front of you. He was a very attractive man. His chiseled abs, his strong arms, his piercing blue eyes. And his cock, it never cease to amaze you how you can take him everytime.

Then he pushed your knees up and opened your cunt wide open. You felt so exposed and vulnerable, your pussy lips spread wide open as he moved forward.

You moaned again when his cock made contact with your dripping pussy. He teased you for a little while, rubbing the tip against your swollen folds.

"This going to be hard and fast. So get ready, babydoll."

He said as he began to push himself inside you. You were so wet that he slipped in easily, but the stretch still hurt. You let out a gasp. Your pussy lips wrapped around his cock and you felt his balls hitting against your ass. He then pulled back and slammed into you, making you moaned. He did this a couple of times, slowly fucking you.

"Fuck, baby, you feel so good." He groaned.

"Faster. Oh, Bucky. Please." You begged.

"As you wish." He smirked.

He picked up the pace, slamming into you. You felt his cock sliding in and out of your pussy, stretching your hole wide open. He was using all his strength to fuck you and you loved every second of it. You couldn't believe how good it felt. You were screaming his name and moaning, not caring about the world. All you cared about is the feeling of Bucky's cock pounding into you, hitting all the right spots.

"Oh Bucky, oh god, please don't stop." You felt his cock sliding in and out of your pussy, stretching your hole wide open. He held your legs tightly, preventing you from squirming.

Your legs were wrapped around his waist, as his hands gripped your hips. His fingers dug into your flesh, sure to leave bruises. But you didn't care. The only thing you were focused on is how good Bucky was fucking you.

"Do you like that, Y/N?" He said, his voice low and husky.

"Mhmm." You mumbled, too lost in pleasure to respond properly. He was fucking you so hard, you could feel his balls slapping against your ass.

"That's what I thought." He growled, leaning down and sucking on your nipple. You cried out as he bit down on your sensitive bud.

You felt your orgasm building up inside you. He started thrusting harder, and deeper, hitting your G-spot over and over again. "Oh, Bucky, I'm gonna cum!" You screamed.

"Milk my cock, baby.” He grunted. With that you felt your orgasm hit you hard. Wave after wave of pleasure swept through your body and you felt your pussy contracting around his cock.

He didn't stop pounding into you as you came, instead he fucked you harder, pushing you through your orgasm. He then pinned your arms above your head, leaving you completely helpless and at his mercy. "Bucky, please!"

"Oh no, baby, I'm not finished with you yet." His grip was so tight, and he continued to thrust into you. He used his one hand holding your hands there while he used the other to reach down and rub your clit. You moaned and arched your back, loving the feeling of his hands on you.

"That's right, keep doing that. Let me hear you."

You were lost in pleasure, completely oblivious to anything else around you. You were a quivering mess beneath him, and you couldn't form a coherent sentence. This time it went much deeper than his normal thrusts. The pleasure was overwhelming. Your second orgasm was approaching, and you knew you couldn't last much longer.

"Oh yes, Bucky, I'm close. Please, fuck, oh god."

"I'm close too, babydoll. Come with me."

"YES! YES!" You screamed, reaching your second orgasm.

His thrust became more erratic, and you could tell he was about to come too. You felt his cock pulsing inside of you, and he let out a loud groan as he released his seed into you.

"Oh, fuck!" He cried out, his face scrunched up in pleasure.

You both rode out your orgasms together, his head falling onto your chest. Your legs were shaky, and your heart was pounding.

You both lay there, panting, trying to catch your breaths. You smiled as you looked up at him, "Wow. That was amazing."

"You're damn right, babydoll. You're so beautiful, and I love you so much." He replied, kissing your forehead.

He let you catch your breath first before leaning over, his eyes locking onto yours. "Are you ready for the main event now?" he said, a playful glint in his eyes as he winked at you.

"Yes." You said, nervously. You were both excited and nervous for what was about to happen. You had never done anal sex before, and you were scared that it would hurt.

"Don't worry, baby, I will make sure to be gentle. If it hurts, just tell me to stop and I will." He assured you by gently kissing your lips.

"I trust you, Buck." You smiled, feeling a little bit better.

He climbed off you and reached for a bottle from the nightstand drawer. "What's that?" you asked, your curiosity piqued.

He sat on the bed and opened the bottle. It was lube. "Oh." You blushed. "You had that just lying around?"

Sitting back on the bed, he opened the bottle. It was lube. "Oh." Your cheeks flushed with surprise. "You had that just lying around?" you asked, a hint of amusement in your voice.

"Yes. Just in case," he said, his tone nonchalant.

"In case of what?" you inquired, raising an eyebrow in playful curiosity.

"In case we did this," he replied, gesturing between the two of you, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

You couldn't help but giggle, realizing you had fallen right into his trap. "You cheeky bastard, were you planning this all along?" you teased.

He flashed you a grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well, let's say I had a hunch you might eventually succumb. Although, I must admit, this scenario played out differently than I imagined," he added, referring to being dragged to the therapist, his tone teasing yet affectionate.

"You're such a naughty man, James Buchanan Barnes," your eyes narrowing playfully.

"That's why you love me," he replied with a wink, his tone flirtatious.

A tender smile graced your lips, and you let out a soft sigh. "One of the many reasons," you confessed, your voice softening as you gazed at him with affection.

Then, there was a brief silence. Bucky broke the quiet, his voice laced with concern, "Are you sure you want to do this? I don't want to force you into something you're not comfortable with."

"I do, really. I'm just a bit nervous, you know? What if it hurts?"

His hand brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch tender. "It might hurt, yes," he acknowledged. "But I will make sure it won't be long. If it becomes too much, you need to tell me, alright? I don't want you to keep it to yourself."

You nodded, "I trust you, Bucky. How do we do this?"

A reassuring smile curved his lips. "That means the world to me, Y/N."

His fingers traced delicate patterns on your skin, his touch soothing. "Well, I need to prep you first. " he whispered, his breath warm against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "I need to make sure you're ready and lubed up, then I will ease myself into you."

With a deep breath, you closed your eyes, surrendering to the moment, trusting Bucky to guide you. "Okay," you said, your voice barely more than a breath. "Let's do this."

He opened the bottled and you shivered in anticipation. He poured a big amount of the liquid on his hand and spread it all over his member, giving special attention to the head.

He poured more lube on his hands and he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you softly. He gently pressed his finger against your entrance, circle your hole. You tensed up a bit, and he stopped. "Relax, doll. I'm just massaging you, don't be so tense. I need you to loosen up."

He kissed you again, and this time, you relaxed. He continued his ministrations, "I'm gonna try to enter one finger, okay? Let me know if you feel any discomfort."

You nodded and watched as he poured more lube on his fingers. Slowly pushing his finger past the ring of muscle and slowly eased it inside. You moaned as his finger slipped inside, stretching your walls. It was a weird sensation, and you felt a slight discomfort, but not a painful one.

"How does that feel, doll?" He asked, his voice low and husky. "Does it hurt?"

You took a deep breath, trying to adjust to the sensation. "Yes, it feels weird, but I'm okay. Don't stop," you assured him.

"That's normal," he said, his tone soothing, and he placed a soft kiss on your neck. "Just try to relax, okay?" His words were comforting, and you found yourself nodding, trusting him completely.

He was gentle and slow, taking his time. He started to move his finger, sliding it in and out, until he thought you were ready for a second one. He pushed the second finger inside, and you moaned.

"Do you like that?"

"Mmhmm." You moaned, your eyes closed.

He smiled, moving his fingers in and out, making sure to stretch you well.

"You think you're ready for a third one, sweetheart?"

"Yes, please."

He pushed the third finger in and you moaned, arching your back. The pain was still there but now, there was pleasure, and you were beginning to feel the pleasure taking over the pain.

"You’re doing so good, baby. I can't wait to fuck your ass, baby. I'm going to fill you up." He mumbled. kissing you deeply.

His kisses went down to your jawline and you moaned, gripping his hair. He curled his fingers inside and you screamed, arching your back.

"Does that feel good, doll?"

"God, yes! More, please." You begged, pushing your hips against his hand.

"Fuck, baby. Your ass feels so good. So tight and warm." He growled, licking your nipples, sucking on them, teasing you. His metal hand went to your clit, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves.

His hands and tongue were all over you, making you feel so good, so loved. You were squirming and moaning, digging your nails into his skin. You could felt your orgasm approaching.

"Please, Bucky. I need you. Please." You moaned, gripping his shoulders.

"I've got you, doll. Just hang on." He growled, he circling your clit and you cried out, the pressure feeling good, so good.

"Let me know who makes you feel this way." He whispered, his hot breath tickling your neck.

"Oh god! Yes! Bucky!” You cried as you came. You laid there panting, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. You couldn't believe, you came from his finger on your ass.

"You're such a good girl, doll. So perfect, so beautiful. So amazing." He growled, pulling his fingers out of your ass.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He asked, rubbing his nose against yours.

"Yeah, that was... That was surprisingly good." You panted, smiling.

"Good.” He smiled brushing your hair, “I think you're ready for my cock now." He poured generous amount of lube to his cock. He stroked himself, getting his cock coated with the lubricant. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready, Buck."

He cupped your face tenderly, his thumb caressing your cheek. "If it's too painful, tell me to stop, okay? Your comfort is my priority."

"I will, Buck."

You looked down at his hard cock as he got into position. He lined his cock on your entrance. Slowly, he entered you, making sure not to hurt you. It was a very different sensation. It didn't feel like you were being torn apart, but you did feel a slight burning sensation, and the fullness was quite intense.

"Oh, fuck!" He groaned. "God, baby, you're so fucking tight!”

You tensed, and Bucky hissed, he looked at you, his eyes clouded with lust. "Baby, you gotta relax. If you tense up, you'll make it more difficult for the both of us." He said, his breath labored.

You took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to relax. "Sorry, it just feels weird. But, don't stop, I'm okay." He moved in a bit further, and you bit your lip.

The more he pushed, the more you felt like he was tearing you apart. You whimpered and he stopped, caressing your face. "Baby... tell me if it hurt. Don't bear the pain. I can stop, if you want me to." He reassured you.

"I'm fine. Just getting used to the feeling. Don't stop."

He pushed further and further, and you cried out, clutching onto him. "You're doing so good, sweetheart."

When he was finally fully sheathed inside you, you both let out a sigh.

"Oh my God, Buck." You panted, moaning at the feeling. You immediately felt too full. You felt so full, and it felt so good. You were breathing hard, adjusting yourself to the size of his cock. Why did it have to be so huge? It would hurt less if it were a bit smaller.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just adjusting myself to your size. Fuck, you're so big. I feel so full.” You groaned.

"Where's the fun in being small, doll?" He smirked, biting his lips.

"Don't be cheeky," you retorted, rolling your eyes but unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips.

He kissed you, his tongue swirling with yours, and you moaned. He pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting your mouth to his. He wiped it off with his thumb and sucked it clean, licking his lips.

"Fuck. That's so hot, Bucky."

"You're taking my dick so well, doll. I can't believe it." He said. "I'm going to move now okay?" You nodded and he moved his hips, and you gasped. He started to move slowly, and you moaned, wrapping your arms around him, burying your face in his neck.

"Fuck, you feel so good. So warm, so tight."

Bucky was moving so slow, it was almost torture. He was so slow and gentle, treating you as if you were a fragile porcelain doll. You could see how hard he tried to hold himself back, his eyes closed, and his teeth clenched.

"You can move faster, you won't hurt me." You told him.

"Doll, I don't want to hurt you. You're still so fucking tight, and it takes everything in me to hold back."

"It's not gonna hurt, Buck. Please, don't hold back. Just do it." You begged.

“Tell me if you need me to slow down or stop, okay?"

He pulled out almost completely and slammed back in, making you moan. You moaned and wrapped your legs around his waist, making him go even deeper. He groaned, and you whimpered, digging your nails into his flesh.

"Yes, yes." You braced yourself again. The sound of your skin slapping was loud and obscene, and the feeling was overwhelming.

"Ah, Bucky, it's so good." You moaned, feeling him pounding into you.

He leaned in to kiss you, his tongue exploring your mouth. You moaned into his mouth. "You gave me your first time, doll. Thank you." He whispered.

He moved his hips faster, and you cried out, you could feel him speeding up. He was panting, his forehead pressed against yours. You started moving your hips with him, meeting him with every thrust.

"Fuck. You're such a good girl. Taking my cock like this."

You were a moaning mess. The only words that came out from your mouth were his name and incoherent babble.

"Faster, Bucky, please!" You urged him.

He complied and picked up the pace. He started thrusting into you faster and deeper. He was fucking you hard and fast. The headboard of the bed was slamming on the wall. You were lost in the sensation.

"Is this what you want, babydoll? You want me to fuck your ass roughly, don't you?"

"Oh god, Bucky! Yes, yes!" You moaned.

"What a bad girl, wanting to get her ass fucked.” He brushed your hair from your face and stared at you as he fucking you. “God, Y/N, you look so fucking sexy. Your breasts bouncing and jiggling, the way your mouth hang open as you scream my name, the way you're clenching around my cock. You're fucking perfect."

His words went straight to your core, "Oh Bucky, you feel so good." You moaned, feeling yourself clench around his dick.

Bucky pounded harder, making sure to hit that spot every time. You moaned and cried as the pleasure intensified. You couldn't even think straight. You couldn't remember what was going on, or why, all you could think of was the feeling of Bucky's cock inside you.

"Are you close, baby?" He asked.

"So close." You gasped.

Bucky continued thrusting, chasing his orgasm. His movements were erratic and frantic. He pounded into you, his balls slapping against your skin. "I’m close too. I'm gonna come, doll. Where do you want me to come? Do you want me to pull out?"

"No! Don't stop! Please don't stop!" You cried.

Bucky's movements were frantic and wild. His breathing was labored and his moans were louder than before. "Fuck! I'm gonna come!" He yelled.

You were seeing stars as you screamed his name, coming around his cock. You could hear him grunting, and soon enough he came too, his cock pulsing inside you. You felt him spilling his load into you, his hot come filling your ass. He kept thrusting until he was done.

He collapsed on top of you, his sweaty chest sticking to yours. You were panting, trying to catch your breath. He kissed your neck and rolled to the side, taking his spent dick out of you. You hissed and felt a trail of cum falling from your hole.

"You did so great, baby. I can't believe it. How are you feeling? Does it hurt?" He caressed your cheeks.

You turned to face him, a smile on your face. "Yes, I'm sore. But it was worth it. Thank you, Bucky.”

"You are such a perfect girl for me. Thank you, doll. I love you."

You were so tired afterwards, he overstimulated you. You came too many times and you could barely speak. He held you and kissed your forehead, whispering how proud he was of you.

You were lying there with him as he stroked your hair, humming a soft melody. The room smelled of sex, but you didn’t care. All you wanted was to be in his arms. Your muscles and ass would be sore the next day, but it was worth it. It was a special experience and you couldn’t be happier.

"Stay here, I'm going to clean you up." He went to get up and get a towel, he knew you were too sore to move.

"You don't need to, just lie down with me."

"But you are a mess. We both are. I need to take care of you. You are the one that has my seed inside you."

"Bucky, please," you pleaded softly, not wanting him to go through the trouble.

He didn't listen to you. He gently kissed your forehead before getting up and walking over to the bathroom, giving you a perfect view of his toned toned ass. You giggled and shook your head, he was such a dork. He came back with a warm wet towel.

When he came back, you couldn't help to admire how hot he looked right now, his body glistening with sweat and all messy, thoroughly fucked. He was still naked, standing in front of you, his cock hanging between his legs.

As he returned, his eyes caught yours, and a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "What are you smiling about?" he asked.

You bit your lip, trying to hide your amusement, but it escaped in a soft giggle. "I'm just enjoying the view." you replied with a playful grin.

He chuckled, the sound sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. "Well, I'm glad you find it enjoyable," he teased, his eyes lingering on your face before he shifted his gaze down your body, and then back up again. "I must say, the feeling is quite mutual."

Your cheeks flushed with warmth at his boldness. "Smooth talker, aren't you?"

He grinned, his confidence infectious. "Only when I'm around someone as stunning as you."

You rolled your eyes playfully, but the compliment had its intended effect, making you feel both flattered and a little bashful. "You know how to charm a girl, Sergeant Barnes."

He winked at you, his smile turning into a smirk. "I aim to please."

He crawled into bed with you, Bucky gently began cleaning you up, his touch gentle yet firm. You were exhausted and sore, and in that moment, his care felt like a lifeline.

He spread your legs and started cleaning you up, removing the cum and wetness that was leaking from your entrance. "Are you okay? I wasn't too rough, was I?" he asked, looking at you with concern.

"You were perfect, baby. This is exactly what I wanted. I'm so happy right now.” You said and smiled at him.

He ran the warm cloth along your thigh, and then did the same to your other leg. His hair was messy, but his eyes were sparkling with contentment. You couldn’t help but stare at him, mesmerized by the sight of him.

He broke the silence, his voice heavy with the weight of his confession, "It was Zemo."

"Huh?" You were too mesmerized with his beauty, so you didn't pay attention.

His jaw clenched with the memory, as he wiped you clean, gently. "My nightmare." He began, his voice strained. "We were back at the Berlin facility, and he was talking about Sokovia. He wanted me to become the Winter Soldier again. But I couldn't, not after everything I've been through. I couldn't go back to that darkness."

His voice cracked, and you could feel his pain as if it were your own. "But then he said that you were going to get killed instead. I didn't have a choice, I had to do it. I was fighting myself, trying to break free and reach you, but I was trapped, helpless, and just screaming..."

His breathing became rapid, shallow gasps escaping his lips. "Hey... hey..." you murmured, gently bringing his face to meet your gaze. His eyes were clouded with fear, refusing to meet yours directly.

"Bucky, look at me," you implored, your voice soft yet unwavering.

His blue eyes finally bore into yours, searching for solace amidst the storm of his thoughts. "It wasn't real. I'm here, safe and sound, and so are you. You're safe now. He's gone," you assured, your words carrying a soothing cadence.

Moving closer, you delicately stroked his face, your touch a balm to his turmoil. A tender kiss landed on his forehead, a silent promise of security. "Zemo is not here, and neither is HYDRA. You are safe, and I am safe. They can't hurt us anymore."

He remained silent, his vulnerability laid bare before you.

"You can't change the past, Bucky," you continued, your voice gentle but firm. "It's behind us, and we have to live in the present. We're together now, and that's all that matters. I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah? You promise?"

"Of course, I do. I'm not leaving you, Bucky." You tried to lighten up the mood, “Where else can I find someone that can fuck me like you?”

He laughed, “Yes, no one allowed to fuck you. Only me.” He was getting possessive. He hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead. "Thank you baby, thank you for everything. I love you, babydoll."

"I love you too, Bucky. Get some sleep. You need rest."

"I love you more, doll. Sleep well."

He cleaned himself up, then lay next to you and covered you with a blanket. He cuddled up close and wrapped his arm around your waist. You snuggled up against his chest, closing your eyes.

A/N : Woah congrats, I'm glad you can make it till the end with how long the smut is. Is it to your liking? Gentle and Needy Bucky are in my top 3 so I've been really wanting to make this kind of story. That aftercare especially ugh I feel like it doesn't get enough attention.

Stay tuned for version 2 - it's going to be packed with angst, fluff, and some hurt/comfort, maybe with a touch of mild smut. Is that something you're interested in? Let me know!

If you guys like my story, please check out my other stories : masterlist

Happy sinning! (is that a word? lol)

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