#and it is. difficult to find stuff i will be honest cause all u get is pictures of soap | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightcolorz · 5 months

Note

i’m late but for the ask game: armand 6, 8, 25

YIPPIE!! Thank u sm for sending this, I’ve been pretty severely injured lately and I woke up feeling so shit and sad, so getting this notif absolutely made my day. Armand !!! He is my favorite character in anything ever. I have literally never been so insane about a guy before. U picked some great questions so I’m super excited about this.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

I identify strongly with Armand for a lot of weird little reasons. I think the root of it is transgender and autism stuff if I’m honest 😭 Im going to try not to get tooo personal 👍👍 but I will let’s be honest, I will get personal. I can relate to being fetishized and characterized for my sort of androgynous/pretty/boyish appearance while I feel like how I look doesn’t truly reflect who I am as a person. I definitely get the struggle of being demeaned and treated like a child bcus of the juvenile ish appearance transitioning can give you. I also can relate to being demeaned and treated like a child because of my social awkwardness (due to autism) that causes many ppl to assume I’m unintelligent or immature, need to be treated gently or talked to slowly, etc. I see these parts of myself reflected in Armand ofc in different more vampiric ways, and having a character who is infantilized and talked down to while also fetishized and sexually exploited for a perceived innocence that isn’t reflective of who he really is at all, a guy who is also very strange and awkward and doesn’t act right, who is also simultaneously very bad ass (imo lmao) in his shamelessness and his overtly violent and freak of nature attitude, is weirdly very validating and empowering for me, lmao. He is like the weak shameful parts of myself if the weak shameful parts of myself had teeth. 👍👍👍 Yeah 😁😁😁😁 Armand 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

lmfaooo, I’m so happy u picked this one bcus I love complaining and being a hater 😍 I am sorry in advance if I say anything that ruffles any bodies feathers, just bcus I don’t like these things ppl do doesn’t mean I don’t like the ppl who do them, y’all do u I’m not stopping u. Anyways.

I don’t enjoy how a handful of amc exclusive fans characterize Armand, because you can tell they rlly only understand him based on Wikipedia reads and his brief appearance in the show so far, which results in this sort of glaring simplification of his character in fan content. This wouldn’t rlly bother me if not for how prevalent it is 😭 like it’s genuinely difficult for me to find interesting and in character fanfic about Armand bcus so much of it is uniformed. The amc fandom sort of dominates the tvc fandom, it’s just so big. I don’t like when Armand is reduced to Louis’s new scary hot boyfriend/Lestat replacement/potential villain. It feels like he’s often perceived through this lens of a role in the story, like “hm this guy seems like a potential villain”, “no I think he’s a new love interest”, which is a conversation I find no appeal in at all considering you can’t fit the Armand I love into any of these narrative boxes. This isn’t rlly smth I have personal beef with bcus there’s no harm in fans of the show characterizing armand based on there limited knowledge while they wait for the next season, but for me it’s a pet peeve you know, as someone who rlly rlly likes armand a lot 😭.

(This is the exception to my no hate to u if u do this disclaimer btw, all the hate to u). on the subject of amc fans, I also often see this hostility towards fans of book Armand, where I’ll see amc fans talking about how perverse he is conceptually in the books and how gross ppl who like him are, which REALLY makes me very mad, because ok. Listen. Show armand is not a character yet, any and all things you enjoy about armand as of now as someone who hasn’t read the books are 1. How he looks. And 2. Things from the books that you apply to him in a new context. Assad’s performance, the people working on the show, the writers, everything that you base your enjoyment of armand in, is from the books 😭 But god forbid someone enjoy the source material over the hypothetical character who barely exists yet? God forbid someone do the same thing u do (take smth arguably morally dubious and interpret it in a way that u find interesting and compelling while acknowledging the morally dubious source material) just not in the context of an adaption. Ok. God forbid I enjoy and identify with an adult character trapped in the body of a child who is misperceived for his youth and sexually abused, it’s not like this is the same concept of beloved amc Claudia anyway. It’s also not like I am capable of enjoying something while criticizing it and disliking it’s flaws, and coming to conclusions based on critical thinking and analysis of concepts that may have been executed poorly, that I still admire and enjoy, bcus I am capable of complex thinking, and I don’t need to blindly enjoy every part of smth and perceive it as flawless to enjoy it. We all know that’s fake ! Anyways sorry for the angry rant 😭😭😭 moving on.

On a separate note, I also sometimes have beef with how fellow book armand fans portray him. This is small and sort of petty but it bothers me when Armand is drawn as like, very small and skinny. Maybe it’s bcus I head canon him as chubby and sort of cherub-built, maybe it’s bcus in TVA armand describes himself as strong in build and “not waif-ish”, but either or it does feel sort of wrong and off putting when I see Armand drawn as like, so small and petite that it’s emphasized. To me this reads as a missing of the point, if you will. An emphasis on physical qualities representative of innocence and youth that aren’t reflective of Armand’s character, only rlly how some other characters see him. I can often tell when an Armand fan enjoys him for the superficial qualities (eternally young, angelic looking, etc) over who he is, and it always encourages me to steer clear. I hope I’m making sense lol. This is also sometime present in fic but it’s more subtle and difficult to describe. Anyways

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I was thinking about this yesterday! I was first introduced to Armand when I was maybe 11 or 12, my dad put on 94 interview with the vampire for me and my twin sister while he did work around the house etc. he started watching it with us (he loves 94 iwtv) but by the time Armand showed up at the half way point he got up and started doing other things, so my sister and I were alone in front of the screen. For some reason lost to time my sister and I were very excited about seeing Antonio Banderas, maybe because we knew him from Zorro, so in the aftermath of the buffoon scene with Santiago that we found really funny, when Antonio Banderas appeared on screen we were hyped tf up. We were so enthralled in the moment of his cunty ass entrance we started cheering and clapping and screaming 😭 I think shrieking ARMANNNDDD!!!! At the screen (with no knowledge of who armand even was) Till I started laughing to tears is in my top ten formative moments. My first viewing of iwtv was just like that 😭 there was smth in the water that had my sister and I loosing our fucking minds with excitement over that movie. Anyways, I only immersed myself into the fandom and got rlly into tvc just last year, when I read interview with the vampire (smth that’s always been in the back of my mind since my first viewing, I really did love that movie) and then the rest of tvc. When I was reading interview with the vampire I had that subconscious excitement over Armand’s half way point appearance brewing from the get go (every time my sister and I have watched iwtv together since we were 12 we’ve done the same screaming at the screen ritual for armand) so when I was re introduced to him I was instantly attached to him. I very quickly discovered how much I was enthralled by this guy, like by his first appearance and description it went from a weird little nostalgic affection to a “omfg I feel many inexplicably strong feelings for this guy”. He was just so magnetic and weird, I was intrigued by every thing about him, like Louis lol. I started drawing him a bunch b4 I’d even finished the first book, and by the time I was introduced to him in tvl he was my favorite character. Tvl really solidified my armand obsession, and queen of the damned made me the person I am today 😭 insane. I think my impression of him now should be obvious at this point 😔 he is my silliest guy every morning I wake up and he is the first thought in my mind I cry about him daily I worship him like he’s my god sometimes I see a blender and I am so overwhelmed with emotion I want to scream if a professional looked into my brain and saw all the armand in there they’d diagnose me with super mega autism. I like him a lot. 🫶

Thank you sm for sending this ask once again! I’m sorry it’s so long lol, hope my responses were interesting. This is the ask game in question for anyone who may potentially want to send me more asks: https://www.tumblr.com/nightcolorz/734243514562510848?source=share I would cry with joy if so.

#tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #armand #The vampire armand #interview with the vampire #Iwtv #anne rice #Armand iwtv #armand tvc #armand vc #ask game

10 notes · View notes

beauleifu · 1 year

Note

OH MY GOSH I LOVE WRITING SYNTAX HEADCANONS FOR U AND I LOVE YOUR OPINIONS FOR MY HEADCANONSS🫶

If I have to be honest syntax is lowkeyyyy jealous? like talk abt a person next to him he'll be like "huh they did that? pathetic😒" but if u ask him if he is jealous "jealous?me?? nah Im only telling u that person is dumb"

I think he would understand if ur pretending to sleep but he would act like he didn't noticed like ur having a hard time sleeping but u dont wanna wake syntax cause of that ur pretending to sleep GOT WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY RIGHT??😭

His science skills are another level but..he was probably bad at history when he was a kid

ask him about something in history (like ottomans n stuff like that) he would just stare at u embarrassed

I think he would remember small details about u like tell him your fav food or fav color he'll keep those in his mind (cause he is a awesome bf duh💖)

Idk why but he was a creepypasta fan when he was a kid..or a science nerd

Im so sorry if I wrote short headcanons Im so sick these days idk why

Have a great day 🫂HUG.

to cope with the jealousy I imagine he'd either he in SUPER DENIAL or try to impress you with HIS genius because, in his mind, if you're complimenting someone else, he must not be trying hard enough/you must not see how smart he is

Of course, you're quick to remind him that your heart is his, and only his, every time to find out what he's doing

And SLEEP, yes I imagine Syntax finds it difficult to intrude on someone's personal space or when they're having a moment, especially if it's someone he respects. However, if he thinks it's going too far, he'll quickly get fed up and try to solve the problem.

And yeah, I don't think Syntax was ever a history-centered dude, hENCE why he didn't care for some of those questions on that test in chapter 12 of Heartstrings, like whoever was the first computer programmer. It's just not something he's interested, and would either brush it off when you ask him or feel embarrassed for not knowing

YES YES

THIS BASTARD PAYS AN INCREDIBLE ATTENTION TO DETAIL. He'll treat this relationship like fucking glass and would never to anything to put it in danger.

Hence why he'll note on the little things that you like, or things that make you tick.

Of course, this only occurs when he starts caring about you.

EYO FEEL BETTER SOON ANON!! DRINK WATER, STAY SAFE, DO CRIME- joking, but in all seriousness I conjure an imaginary soup for your soul :))

#that one anon #good to have you back m8 #AND WITH MORE HEADCANONS #love 'em #syntax is all headcanoned up #lmk #lmk syntax #syntax x reader #beau answers #ask

28 notes · View notes

hikari-ni-naritai · 2 years

Note

That's fair yeah! The baking analogy makes sense, though it moreso feels like something is wrong with me for not liking something I should like based on the criteria, rather than being upset people make stuff I dont like. I think it's probably really me having a hard time accepting being ace, weird as that sounds? Like, I really like Girls and cuddling and bodies and such, which makes me feel like I SHOULD also like sex in general, cause that's what anyone that likes this kinda stuff also likes. I feel like that's not correct but it's hard to convince yourself of things. Feels like I should get over this already but it just won't stick! I hate it!

Also!! That sylvie yes! And I forgot her scars instead of amputation im too foolish. ALSO EYE GIRL YES She's my favorite I love her so much! Failed experiment chan is pretty great too. Ah! And of course Hikari is very cute! Your glams really fit her too, made me actually start trying with that too, ha. All in all though I should find a way to say things with less words, but I do appreciate you giving honest insight for stuff that's kinda strange to have this big an issue with, I do hope you don't mind. Either way, thank you for your time!

anon you are taking some pretty weird logic leaps here. connecting snuggling with sex is like, an extremely american thing to do. yknow in a lot of other places, its perfectly normal for people in platonic relationships to have some level of skinship.

like lets be honest anon sex is fuckin gross? theres no reason you SHOULD be into it if you arent already into it. maybe its because i grew up in an extremely anti-sex religious environment but like. being ace , to me, comes off as a good thing to be. not something you shouldnt be, or something you have no business being because you like girls. like. do you WANT to be not ace? do you feel like youre missing out on something because youre ace? cause ill be honest the only thing you are missing out on is sex. which like. big whoop. who give a shit. theres not like some secret bonus you unlock by being into sex, its literally just sex. ive recently come around to the possibility that im probably ace myself, in that i only experience sexual attraction as a mirror of my partner's attraction to me. and honestly i dont see what would be difficult to accept about this lol. like 'oh im different from my peers' but do you WANT to be the same? no way dude theyre out there sucking and fucking all damn day thats not a life i want to lead and it doesnt sound like one you wanna lead either. obligatory 'not that theres anything wrong with wanting sex and i wouldnt dream of judging you if you do'

also im glad you are inspired to try glam!! its the true end game of final fantasy and hikari's passion <3 feel free to come back if you need anything else! love u anon <3 <3

3 notes · View notes

justtryingtoliveright · 2 years

Text

Wednesday 17th August 2022

Dear Blog,

Today was a generally okay day. It wasn’t good but wasn’t bad. Parts of the day felt entirely numb, and I had no feeling at all. To be honest I think that those times were the most difficult as when your mind is blank, it’s entirely unfocussed, which made work difficult and I felt like I was constantly forgetting to do things or I’d be in the middle of something and the blankness made it all confusing. It gets more and more like that these days, whether it’s just me being strange or whether I’m just exhausted. Both would make perfect sense.

Work was good today. I think it helps take my mind off things, I really enjoy it!! If I could get paid for something like that I think I’d have a great time, although that is definitely not in my future plans. Work was absolutely manic from the second I walked through the door. There must have been 3 volunteers in there for the morning shift who were finishing up, plus the managers. They were incredibly busy, everyone doing different jobs. They then got me doing sorting, which is something I’ve never really done and did an awful job at it. I didn’t even get to finish before I was set back to the tills, which was a relief. I was by myself on the tills in the afternoon, which I think I prefer to be honest. When there’s more than one person on it feels like there’s nothing to do sometimes. I did a lot of reorganising, which I also really enjoy, especially when I get to colour coordinate stuff!! I did a lot of restocking and generally had so much fun at work. The assistant manager also told me that I’m a pleasure to work with and always engaged and like to be busy. That was the confidence boost I needed.

The one real bother for today is results day. I get my A level results tomorrow and know for a fact that I’ve really messed up. My predictions for tomorrow:

Biology: B

Chemistry: E

Maths: C

Further Maths: U

I’ve been incredibly stressed about that today and its made me feel so incredibly sick. A levels generally went so badly and I do feel very let down in many ways.

I don’t agree with exams generally for many reason. Firstly, how can you base a qualification off a set off exam questions based off purely knowledge recall? This counts for all subjects. Even if you have to analyse parts and expand your knowledge to answer the question it always required knowledge recall and if you struggle with that, or stress affects it (which is my case), then exams feel like an impossible feat. Secondly, if you had a bad day, had a lot going on in your personal life or any other possible problem, your exams can be badly affected and in that case, that’s your chance at a good grade completely obliterated. On the same kind of lines, if the person marking your exam has had a particularly bad day, their marking may be more critical, and may not give you marks where you could argue that you’d deserve them.

One more argument I will make is that exam conditions are not always the ideal conditions for some people to work. I find myself in this category. For me, I find full silence more stressful to work in than slightly noisy condition. It’s something that has only affected me for 2 years now but I have a problem that exam conditions silence is never silence. In exams although there isn’t talking to be a distraction the lack of causes me to be fully immersed and distracted by every other sound in the room. There’s been times in our mocks where because the clock was ticking (thankfully they used ones that don’t tick for the real exams), I spent 10+ minutes not able to focus because I couldn’t erase the ticking from my mind. Exam season is also hay fever season so that was something else that was a distraction for me. I will also point out, of course they can’t help suffering with it, it’s just unfortunate that my brain focuses on each sound s it does when I’m in silent conditions. Having it makes me feel guilty because it cannot be helped but I struggle.

Other reasons I feel let down: covid has really messed up our A level years. These exams were the first formal exams a lot of our year sat since year 6 (not including mocks as they’re different in a way). Also the fact that we were behind in the first place by not doing GCSEs, exacerbated by the fact that learning was messy, some was remote (which doesn’t work for a lot of people), and some was even spent in lockdowns. With all of that they’re still using out year to try and lower the grade boundaries back to the 2019 level. One more thing is the fact that the advanced information we were given was incredibly inaccurate a lot of the time. I used the advanced information as I was meant to and studies other topics as well as those listed, but one some of the papers the advanced information was very misleading. For example, on the first biology paper one of the top listed topics (so should be one of the most credits) was photosynthesis, for there to be a single 5 mark question that was a FILL IN THE GAP. It’s the first time ever that I’ve wanted more questions on photosynthesis. I revised it so much for it to hardly come up. In the same subject, enzymes didn’t appear ont the advanced information at all but came up a lot in (I think) all 3 papers!! The3rd biology paper also had a chemistry topic in that we don’t even cover in biology, which was very surprising to see at the time. .

The last reason I fell let down is the leak of our chemistry paper. More than a week before we sat it, the paper was circulating around so much so that over 5000 students got access to it. There is evidence that AQA was told a week in advance about this leak and it was reported by many people, yet nothing was done about it and we found out after we’d already sat the paper that some people had an unfair advantage and a week to get all the answers they needed.

There’s a couple of things that I can’t get out of my mind that have been in there for weeks. For example, the fact that I didn’t realise it at the time, but all throughout my time at my first secondary I was bullied by different people a lot. Initially it was the girls who I called my friends, who I eventually left the group of because I was treated so incredibly poorly by them. They spent at least 4 months trying to kick me out while I had no other friends to fall back on. Then there was J and A, who took the piss out of me whenever I was with them, whether it be social or because the seating plan had me with them in lesson. Then there was C, who was manipulating me a lot to conform to her and be her mini follower. There was also the drama between T and M that I managed to get in the middle of, and M and MB ganging up on me at times in the middle of it all. At that place I just seemed to be hated by everyone.

It is 00:45 on results day currently so I will sign off here

Thanks all xx

0 notes

xhisokas-harleyx · 3 years

Note

Your Hisoka headcanons were so good😭 and i completely agree with all of them- I wanted request something, u can ignore if u want. 🏃

I am just thinking of a scenario where Hisoka got hurt, by someone who 'cheated' in the fight maybe, and his first instinct was to go to his 'friend's place. And Reader helps him without hesitation, they're even worried and stuff. And he is just like "are they just so naive or dumb? Kind? What do they get from this? And tf is this feeling in my chest? A poison maybe-" Maybe hcs? Or an oneshot? Whatever you like to do. Have a good day or night!:)💛 damn i wrote too much lol sorry

This warms my heart. Thank you SO MUCH for your support!!! And no, you did not write too much! I love having my ego stroked ;) 😂 seriously tho I love hearing from you guys!

I love this prompt. I hope that I was able to bring this to life for you, please feel free to request more!

To be honest, I’m not really happy with how this turned out, but I haven’t written in a long time and feel really rusty. I may rewrite it at some point, because I thought of a different way this could also go! At any rate, I hope you enjoy it.

Word Count: 2880 (yeh, it’s a long one :o)

A little song inspiration I had:

As The World Caves In: Matt Maltese

Hisoka x Reader One-Shot: The Man Beneath the Monster

...

Well... this wasn't supposed to happen.

Currently, the jester of everyone's nightmares lay on the ground, golden eyes staring up at the dull night sky while shrapnel and debris etched patterns into his back, remnants of the attack he'd just barely survived. Hisoka didn't normally have much of a problem mowing through his opponents- but then again, they usually didn't possess the ability to play with their enemy's mind. It was insanely unfair, the way he'd been attacked, and while it had been an interesting battle to say the least, Hisoka had barely pulled through.

Admittedly, he was invigorated by the feeling of almost being beaten- save for the searing pain that inched its way through every nerve in his body. Hisoka wasn't usually so affected by pain in general- in fact, more often than not, it gave him a certain indescribable gratification. He tended to brush off the feeling of most wounds he obtained during battle, distracting himself with shuffling his cards or fantasizing about the next battle he'd be facing. Only this time, if he didn't get help, he wasn’t sure there would BE another battle.

Hisoka strained himself to sit up, and looked down at his body, analyzing just how much damage he'd sustained. A deep gash opened up his chest, revealing glimpses of the muscular content underneath, and it was oozing a lot of blood. His arms and legs were burned, and some of the skin was a little charred, which smelled just lovely against the night breeze.

This is going to be difficult to cover with Texture Surprise... he thought, forcing himself a bit angrily to his feet, when he heard the cracking of the joints in his left ankle, indications of a break. He needed medical attention, badly. His gash wasn't going to heal itself, and he would bleed to death within hours if it didn’t get bandaged.

But where could he go? Hospitals wouldn't dare take him- even though he was a hunter, most people wouldn't be caught within miles of him, let alone would provide him any remedy. In fact, most people thought the world would be better off if he were dead anyway.

Maybe they were right.

He chuckled a little at the thought, but as he tried to brush those creeping inner fears off, he soon realized that his normal detached approach wasn't going to work this time. Already, his legs were getting weaker, and his vision was getting a little darker by the second. In that moment of weakness, when he felt the most vulnerable, the magician was puzzled by the singular thought that came to his mind.

Y/N.

She was a girl he’d encountered more than a few times in his travels; not by accident, but through carefully orchestrated meetings he initiated himself. She was strong in his eyes, which was not a compliment that he offered freely, especially to someone who didn’t regularly seek out altercations to smash their enemies. She was strong in a different way- not because of her nen or battle tactics- but because of her resolve. He found it intriguing that she didn’t run at the sight of him (even when he popped up behind her in the park), and he liked that she wasn't afraid to tell him exactly where he could shove his cards, if warranted. Y/N was appealing to him in an indescribable way that made him continue to think up excuses to meet her ‘randomly’- but he could never put his finger on what it was that made her unique. However, through brief conversations and what he considered to be highlights of his travels, he’d gotten to know her only a little, but he hardly had enough contact with her to call her a ‘friend’.

It wasn't like she had any special sort of healing nen. She probably couldn't help him anyway. But if he did bleed out, and his last thought had to be of something...l it might as well be of her.

The pink-haired clown looked to the city up ahead in the distance- he was close to her house already. It didn't take him long to get there; Y/N lived on the outskirts of town in a small place away from most other homes.

It was a place he knew well, although he'd never been inside. He'd spent more than a few long nights watching the residence from the rooftop of a distant neighboring home as he denied his human emotions. He often watched her pack groceries, or try to figure out why her porch light wasn't working (which he certainly had nothing to do with), or watch TV on the couch all alone.

Hisoka quite liked those stupid romantic comedies that played late at night on the local channel. His only opportunity to watch them was through her window- and in his mind, he was sure that she left the subtitles on because she can somehow sense his presence. She usually fell asleep watching those, and missed the part where the hero gets the girl. He always watched that part with particular interest, but he can't figure out what makes the protagonists so special to each other. If there was a feeling that caused them to sacrifice so much for one another… he sure didn’t know what it could be.

But he's not a hero, so why would he know what that feels like?

As Hisoka reached her door and lifted his hand to the doorknob, not bothering to knock, a pang of what could only be anxiety ripped through him. It was well past 2 AM, and he knew she had things to do early in the morning. Their previous encounters had been abnormal, to say the least, complete with him teasing her and being a douchebag. He's been nothing but an annoyance to Y/N, so why would she help him?

As soon as he was about to pull his hand away, the door swung open, revealing a disheveled looking y/n in its place. Hisoka was bent over in pain, holding his chest, but as she startled him a little, he straightened up and put on his mask, acting complacent and confident. He wanted to say something smart and witty like he always does- that always helped to bat the pain away. But his lips wouldn't move- his tongue wouldn't function as he stared at her, unable to reach out in a way that normal humans seem to find so easy.

He felt frozen in that moment. He was normally so deliberately irreverent, but seeing the look on her face made his blood run cold.

Don’t let her see this weakness. It was a plea to himself.

But Hisoka had no choice. He was broken, and he needed her to fix him. He wasn’t used to depending on someone else to save his life, but now his life rested in the hands of someone who most likely despised him.

"...Hisoka." Y/N breathed, her eyes widening as she placed a hand over her open mouth. Only seconds passed before her delicate hands were pulling him inside the door without hesitation. She didn't bother to ask what happened, what kind of trouble he'd gotten into, or whether she would also be in danger. Instead, she sat him down on the couch, laying a pillow under his head for comfort, which he annoyingly refused to use until he absolutely couldn’t hold his head up any longer.

Hisoka was a bit dazed from the loss of blood, and the crimson river was flowing all over y/n's lightly colored couch. He was puzzled by the swiftness of her reaction, and he watched tepidly as she shuffled frantically through the drawers in the bathroom for something to heal him. Though he was on the brink of death, his default deflection of emotions still shone through, a reflex that he didn’t even mean to activate.

“I don’t need your help, you know.” He said with an impudent grin, watching as she began to work on his wounds. “It’s just a scratch. But I can see how badly you want to touch me…” Why was he like this? Here she was, giving up everything to help him (a criminal and the scum of the Earth),yet he can’t so much as even show her an iota of gratitude. He knows, but will never admit that it comes from his inner vulnerability; that fear of getting hurt by these things called emotions. She could just as easily let him bleed to death in front of her; he knows she has the capability to be stone cold. But she won’t… why?

Why?

Y/N could have easily let Hisoka’s false complacency hurt her. But she knows that what he cannot express in his words, his heart cannot truly hide. It was the way he was built, she told herself, and she pushed on through his antics because she wanted to see him safe again. Through the laceration in his tough exterior, she could not only see the flesh beneath, but a glimpse of the man he tried to hide using the monster that he assumed everyone saw.

But she was different.

The jester was confused by her silence. Normally, she would have retorted at his smugness, but right now, she didn’t even seem concerned with it as she began to fumble with cleaning his wounds. The alcohol seared his flesh just as the emotions boiling within him burned his heart. Why would she ever care to help him when he’s been nothing but rude and degrading to her? Could it be that she really can see through the detached front and overbearing persona? Impossible, he’s spent years building that reputation!

Suddenly, he became enthralled with the way Y/N’s eyes focused on threading the needle to sew up his gash. The way that those fingertips danced over his pale skin made him jolt unexpectedly at her touch, exhibiting a softness that Hisoka has never known before. In fact, he can’t even fathom someone wanting to touch him without the intention to hurt him in some way.

The details slowly became a blur in his depressed mental state- but he still analyzed every motion Y/N made.

Oddly, the promised sting of death had never scared Hisoka before; he did as he pleased, without care for his own life nor anyone else’s. But as his vision faded, and he watched her through the gaze of someone nearing death, he realized that he did not want to leave this world yet. He wanted to live- and maybe he wanted to discover and experience what he’d been missing in those movies he’d watched through her window.

With that, Hisoka’s heart began to beat faster.

Blood loss. That’s what it is… Hisoka thought; but he wasn’t stupid; only unwilling to admit that he was beginning to exhibit the same qualities he saw in the protagonists of those hopeless romantic flicks. He was unable to accept that the tightening in his chest was not just because of her stitches pulling his lacerated skin together.

“Are they dead? Did you kill them?” Her voice brought him out of the trance-like state he was in, and his golden eyes focused on her face. Her hands were covered in his blood (which in itself made him feel delightfully feverish), but his gash had been mended, the bleeding stopped for now. Once again, he didn’t say anything. It was unusual for the smug magician to keep his mouth shut.

“Because if you didn’t kill them, I’m going to.” A protective tone dripped into her voice, bewildering Hisoka again. That quality in her voice was both threatening and comforting, and the duality sent a chill up his spine. It inspired him to use his voice, though it had lost some of its signature modulation.

“You have that little faith in me…” A cough escaped his lips before he could smile as if nothing was bothering him at all. “Of course I killed them, my dear.” Somehow, calling her ‘dear’ no longer felt right; that was typically a placeholder, a default name to use for someone he had no connection with, and she seemed to be worthy of more than that now.

As Y/N suddenly dipped to her knees, Hisoka refrained from any lewd thoughts that he normally might have had in such a situation. That sensation in his chest was too distracting to allow this memory to be defiled with something he often indulged in fantasies of. She began to slide the high-heeled shoe off of his swollen foot to wrap it. She began to struggle with ripping the fabric she’d gathered to act as a cast for the bone.

Surely, she knows who I am. Why would she bother to help someone like me? What is she gaining? She knows that with the flip of a card, I could end her life. She’s not even protecting herself in any way. She’s leaving her guard down right in front of me.

Perhaps it was his dark desire to set fear into everyone he came across, or his distorted need to drive away anyone who might care for him, but his body suddenly acted on its own. By instinct, almost as if it were a test of her intention, a card spawned between his middle and index finger, which was right against her neck. With just a slight movement of his knuckles, he could spill her blood. His golden eyes analyzed the way she froze for a moment, and he believed that to be the end of this fragile trust between them. That was until she lifted the fabric she was holding, sliding it along the edge of the card, and cutting it to the perfect length.

“Thanks.” She spoke, beginning to wrap and set the ankle in place.

At that small motion, Hisoka’s discretionary eyes widened, and his lips fell open in surprise. Rather than interpreting his advance as an attack, she’d innocently taken it as an offer of his help. Was this a joke? Was she stupid enough to trust him, or was she bold enough to outsmart his games? Was Y/N this confident that he wouldn’t just kill her? This naive girl at his feet seemed to be the only person in this convoluted world who didn’t see him as a disgusting, heartless monster… and that warmed his icy heart.

“I’m surprised this hasn’t happened before. I know you’re graceful, but high heels are always a recipe for a broken ankle.” She offset the pain of wrapping those bones by talking to him all through the procedure, and it worked wonders. He scoffed, but by that time, Hisoka’s snide comments and emotion-killing thoughts had been expended. Somehow, she’d broken through the barrier that he’d spent so long building around himself.

Unable to ignore his whims anymore, Hisoka reached out to touch Y/N’s hair, the soft delicate strands pleasing his senses. It’s the only movement he can make now, his body weakened from the loss of blood. His gilded eyes were barely open, but they looked directly into hers with an unfamiliar realization. His hand travelled weakly down her face, caressing her cheek with the most delicate touch he could muster, and held her head in his large hand as she froze there. He wondered for a moment if she was afraid, or if something deeper that he cannot see calms her.

A small, genuine smile is all he could muster for her before his hand dropped to the side of the couch, the same couch he watched her curl up on most nights. For once, it’s not a smirk, and it’s not a smug smile- but something she has never seen before- a true smile with good intention behind it. His eyes closed, with uncertainty that they would open in the morning.

After she’d finished her work, she stood up, and looked down at him. The only remaining light in the room was the silent flicker of the television set in the background, which illuminated both of their faces.

“I need you to be alright, Hisoka,” She cooed, unable to know if he could still hear her. He didn’t know if she even realized how much he wanted to kill her right now, because the way her kindness was attacking his heart while his chest was already sliced open was something he should not excuse.

As Y/N’s final healing gesture, she bent over his body gracefully. He was taken off guard when he felt the feathery soft sensation of her lips on his forehead, the kiss of an angel on his clammy skin. As she went to pull away, however, she was startled by the lunge of Hisoka’s hand initiating a death grip on her wrist. He used the last bit of his strength to pull her lips into his, causing her to lose balance and be forced to brace on either side of the couch cushion below him. His lips were cold, but Y/N graciously returned the sensation, and boldly moved to embrace both sides of his face with her mending hands. Before she pulled away, and he passed out, she felt that same smile against her lips.

And in that moment, before he fades away, Hisoka realizes what he’s been missing.

Y/N.

-----------------

Hmm... part two? I KNOW, it’s super freakin’ sappy. I could have taken a lighthearted approach to this (and maybe I will later), but I wanted to kind of challenge myself to write a more depth-driven version of Hisoka. Maybe I bit off a little more than I can chew :0.

Anyway, let me know what you think, and once again thanks to anon for the request! Hope you all enjoyed!

Mac

#hisoka morow #hisoka x reader #x reader #reader insert #hxh #hunterxhunter #feeling sappy #love #lovelorn #ooc? probably #hxh 2011 #hisoka

116 notes · View notes

rigelmejo · 2 years

Text

1 so all of the 2ha novels are on Ebay in korean and i’m desperately jealous i cannot read korean. if you can read korean, and want the very lovely korean cover versions of Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun. They’re out there and easy to get. i am still trying to find the traditional chinese print version of 2ha and... i know they sold it within the last 2 years. and i still can’t find it...

2 regarding the last post i can think of multiple arguments ive ran into on forums (particularly chinese learning forums and on the topic of ‘reading study methods’ since that’s what i delve into the most specifically, but trust me that argument type can be found in a lot of language forums broadly).

like. i like to research study methods before i do them. because i like to have an idea of things to try, progress expected, what things the particular study method helps you improve in, what progress other people saw by doing what specifically etc. so of course when i was preparing to start reading in chinese (after a couple graded readers), and looking up what other people did in preparation to start reading webnovels specifically. and their method of reading.

wow are there arguments. wow. there were some people in forums insisting you needed to learn 3000-5000 hanzi before you started reading (for reference i learned about 1000 then could approach reading with a click-dictionary so yes more hanzi helps but its not a strictly necessary requirement), some people insisting even after HSK 6 was completely studied and mastered you would likely need a dictionary for a while before being able to read extensively without one (I have mixed opinions but ultimately this statement wasn’t true for me in retrospect - I did need a dictionary for a couple years when reading before extensive reading was possible, and my tolerance for ambiguity when extensive reading may be lower than some other peoples, but i certainly did not master all the HSK 6 words beforehand - i learned 2000 common words, HSK 4 stuff ‘vaguely’, then went right to reading, so again mastering HSK 6 beforehand is not a strictly necessary requirement). i saw some people suggest a route of reading several progressively harder graded readers before venturing into webnovels (which to be honest is solid advice if you would like a Lower Difficulty Curve and gradual consistent success motivates, but also i think a person who’s more tolerant of difficulty can break into webnovels faster... i started webnovels before i could tolerate reading my 2000 hanzi graded reader just cause i found the reader more dull/less easy to focus my energy on and keep reliably studying versus webnovels that felt way harder to comprehend but maintained my attention).

in contrast i saw other people recommend jumping RIGHT into only reading material you find personally compelling (which does work... but u need a high tolerance for difficulty with the high amount of unknown words and work you need to do, which is why i did ultimately go with some graded readers and some easier webnovels before my Target Goal Novels which i knew were way too hard for me to not give up on). some people argued about whether you needed 5000 words, 5000 hanzi and 10,000 words, 30,000 words etc learned fully BEFORE being able to read. others argued much smaller amounts (i saw one person argue specifically they studied 2000 common words then went immediately to regular webnovel reading with a dictionary - a brutal difficulty i’d imagine but hey it Worked for them). i read of one specific person who literally learned FROM scratch by reading with a click-dictionary. so they had a chinese webnovel, and literally just clicked every unknown word for a definition, and KEPT reading for years, and eventually picked up more words (one of THE most brutally difficult ways i can think to learn to read chinese but hey it WORKED for them).

so like... from the people’s study plans I’ve seen, a person could actually succeed at learning to read whether they prepare a lot ahead of time, do a gradual graded materials approach, or if they literally just dive right into trying to read and looking up word by word. what ultimately determines if the method will work for you? if you can tolerate doing it, and get yourself to KEEP studying, and make progress on a timeline you find bearable. The person who memorized 5000 hanzi before they started reading? Maybe they would have Given up trying to read in frustration if they’d started reading when i did and kept running into so many unknown hanzi. Whereas if I had been required to memorize 5000 hanzi prior to starting reading, i would have become so frustrated (because im bad at remembering things out of context) that i would have probably given up trying to learn to read before i ever got to the actual reading part. The person who learned by just brute force reading with a dictionary? WAY more difficult than I can imagine being able to do personally (I need some level of basic comprehension before factoring in dictionary use or I give up), but it was the MOST engaging study method for them so they KEPT doing it and it worked (maybe they learn best by just Doing). So yeah, way back before i started trying to read webnovels, i looked up how learners started reading webnovels. And there were so many arguments to be found about Needing to do it this way and not the other way, and so many ways that actually would work for the right person and just not another.

#rant #there were. also a TON of arguments about if audio flashcards/passive audio works for studying #im sure u have seen the arguments at the tip of the iceberg 'is listening to X in the background helping AT ALL or is it useless'#and wow does the argument go a lot further lol. but the summary is kinda just. does it work? literally try it and see if u personally make #progress or not #(my personal research lol. for if it benefited me personally??#well i read up on repetitive listening. and how much it helps listening skills of what u already partially recognize - so not totally new #learning. just better comprehension of stuff u partly know. and repetitive listening from 2-30 times really DOES help me a lot.#but i also combined that method. with audio flashcards that say english then target language. so u can comprehend the target language input #and that start from basic sentences i fully comprehend. to introducing 1 new word per sentence so i can understand from context.#and that setup DOES allow me to learn fully new words from listening 'in the background' provided #i am able to somewhat listen like the same amount of attention id give a youtube video or podcast.

5 notes · View notes

moth-based-cryptology · 3 years

Text

Youtuber!Ralbert Au - Part Two

once again inspired by the wonderful and fabulous @we-are-inevitable and you can find her original concept here

part one to this series can be found here

and my valentine’s concept can be found here

i finally did it guys are you proud ✨

LETS DO THIS THING

now that we’re here, i realized i forgot some vital information last time (aka i hadn’t come up with it yet but ranting to jorja helped me solidify the world thank you mother goose)

so race’s online handle is radioactive racer, and albert’s is, as we know, chaotic red

both of these come from when they were in middle school and had just made vine accounts

albert’s entire account was just videos of race doing dumb shit while he cackled in the background

race’s was just memes

but because this was middle school, race looks WILDLY DIFFERENT compared to now

he was in his full dyed hair and guyliner phase, and before he grew 8 inches the summer before freshman year, so he’s fairly unrecognizable in the vines of him (plus,,,, they were dumb 13 year olds, only their friends saw their vines)

but there’s just,,,, an account full of very cringe videos of 7th grade racetrack higgins on the internet that nobody’s connected to them yet, so we’ll do something with that eventually

now back to your regularly scheduled programming ✨

so race and ‘red’ announced they were dating about a month ago, and it’s getting increasingly difficult to make sure al’s face isn’t visible in any clips

also both of their channels are gaining more traction, and race is getting recognized more in public (which he adores, i might add)

but it means that eventually someone’s going to make the connection between the redhead race is walking around with and chaotic red

so despite how anxious it makes him

how genuinely terrified he is that he won’t live up to expectations and everyone will be disappointed

he decides to post a Q&A video to his channel and reveal his identity

it starts with him adjusting the focus onto the couch in their living room, before his stocky frame, black sabbath shirt, jewelry and freckles walk on screen, and he sits down

if anybody had any idea what to expect, the crooked grin, lip ring and custom snapback probably weren’t terribly high on their list

he lets out a breath and his grin gets a bit wider, before he waves into the camera “hey guys! so,,,, this is probably a bit out of left field, but i wanted to properly introduce myself. i’m albert, nice to meet you, but please, call me red.”

his eyes flicker to behind the camera and he rolls his eyes slightly at race’s chuckling that barely audible to the audience

“don’t you dare laugh at me, i’ve never done this before!”

“you’re doing great babe, you’re just a massive dork.”

“stuff it, blondie.”

al can’t really hold back his laughter, not completely, so he huffs a bit before turning back to the camera and properly answer questions to “let the people get to know me”

the dynamic from race’s original video revealing their roommates is flipped

the audience finally getting to see that albert’s grin pulls up slightly farther on the left side than the right

or that he fidgets with his lip ring when he’s thinking through an answer

or the utterly s o f t look he has in his eyes when he looks at racer, one that seriously doesn’t match his mischievous expression or abrasive voice

he answers questions with more ease than he expected, excited to finally be sharing, but once it comes time to hit upload he freezes

“race i don’t think i can do this”

“of course you can sweetheart, everyone already loves you”

“but what if they’re disappointed? what if i’m not cool or interesting or attractive enough? what if-“

“al i k n o w you did not just look at me with t h a t face and claim to not be ‘attractive enough’. attractive enough for who, red? people that are gonna say mean shit anyway?”

al ends up hitting the upload button and promptly hitting his forehead on his desk in anguish cause holy shit what’d i just do

all his worrying ends up being for nothing because everyone absolutely adores him and won’t stop saying how p r o u d they are and how pretty he is

“i told you, dumbass. you’re the prettiest person i know.”

“stop it, you sap.”

he starts using face cams for his (and race’s, when he’s on the chaotic red channel) gameplays and his focused face is s o c u t e

race finally doesn’t have to be sneaky or beg him to take pictures anymore

race is also incredibly excited to not have to aggressively edit all his videos to make sure you can’t see al’s face/hear his name in any of them

race “accidentally” leaves the clip of them slow dancing in the kitchen to ed sheeran in the vlog right after the face reveal

when al next films a sit down video, race is behind the camera, and they’re going through old pictures of albert from childhood (most of them have race in them too, he might as well be there)

this is when the fans discover albert blushes when he’s embarrassed

this video is also how everyone connects the old chaotic red vine account to them and race is m o r t i f i e d

they make it to a picture of them just after they got together, race leaning into albert’s side loosing his shit at something jack is doing off camera, but in-the-picture albert is too busy looking completely head over heels for race to notice whatever they’re doing over there

al just grins and looks up at race with the same stupid mushy expression

“that’s when i knew i was really in love with you”

you can basically hear race m e l t behind the camera and he just tackles al into a hug on the couch and it’s SUCH a cute couple-y moment

“yeah, and you were calling m e the sap earlier. s u r e, whatever helps you sleep at night, albie.”

“it ain’t sappy if it’s true, tonio.”

and editing-al cuts it off, but race had untucked his face from al’s neck and dragged him into a kiss

when he finally got back to filming, al may or may not have had to use cover up on his neck to make it less conspicuous, but that’s neither here nor there to be honest

also this isn’t a necessary addition but every once in awhile race or al will forget to cover up marks on their necks before filming and get absolutely ROASTED on twitter

i have a thousand more ideas for this au so i promise i will be making more at some point but here’s ✨this✨ for now

lmk if you want me to add you to a tag list or whatever cause i’m down with that

ok fín

#newsies #livesies #albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #never not read the tags #ralbert #youtuber ralbert #youtuber!au #jack kelly #is mentioned #chaotic red and radioactive racer #also that last tag is their official tag from now on #i love they #they <3 #come get yall juice #finally doing the whole making consistent content thing #ta da

82 notes · View notes

iwriteshakespeareanninsults · 2 years

Note

I just got accepted to Mount Holyoke and I’m trying to get an honest review. How has the pandemic affected college classes and activities? Are dining halls open for use?

Oh boy okay u asked the correct person because i have my silly little hands in a lot of stuff on campus.

Under the cut bcs this is going to be long, but tl;dr: it has a lot of strengths and it has also has a lot of issues - like any college. Main good is community main bad is administration. Activities are okay, classes are ehh/bad (sorta), and the dining hall is open.

Classes:

So currently, classes are a hot mess. This is very dependent on your major but it's very difficult to get into certain classes that are major requirements. This will hopefully ease off next year for two reasons;

1. the senior class is graduating which is really big, and also had a lot of their pre-req stuff fucked up because they got sent home as sophomores

2. the incoming class will be relatively small because they cannot over-enroll again. there is literally not enough beds for them to do so, so less rabid first years going for all the intro classes at once.

If you're like, a comp-sci major or a language major, you shouldn't have an issue. If you DM me/reply underneath this and let me know what majors you're interested in/subjects I can give you a better idea of if that will be a big issue for you. I would note though this isn't super an issue caused by the pandemic, it's due to the administration.

This is not a concern that will impact you that much for your first year, but may in future years depending on admin choices. There are spots in every class reserved for first years.

Classes in the pandemic are good now that we're back on person, and as someone pretty high up in the SGA it is very very very unlikely we will go back online - we would have to go into an early 2020 level lockdown for that to happen. We still have mask mandates, everyone wears KN95s for the most part and follows the mandate. I haven't had any issues with my classes since we moved back to in-person, and haven't heard of anyone else with real complaints about the quality of in-person teaching.

So, classes are bad because there's issues getting into them, but the classes themselves are not bad.

Activities:

MHC is definitely not a party school. And that is part of the reason I came here - there's not to say you can't have fun, it's just that people generally don't throw really big parties, people mostly have little parties just with their friend group.

With regards to like activities, I have honestly realized it's really what you make of it. First year I did absolutely nothing, but this year I am doing like basically everything. There isn't like 2,000 clubs but there's like an okay, at least for my tastes. Some of the fun ones:

Film club, video game club, poetry club, tea club, dnd/ttrpg club.

There's also stuff like the newspaper, the literary magazine, the animal rights and environmental justice groups, etc. There's stuff to do, you have to go out and find it a little bit.

The LLC's are also a good place for activity - specifically the Outdoor Club does a LOT of stuff. I know the language floors also hang out a lot.

If you do sports, the sports teams are super tight. There's also some club sports (rugby and hockey). Most of the teams are walk-on teams, from my friends that are in sports they generally seem to really like it but it's a small sample size.

The pandemic hasn't impacted activities that much? or at least the ones I do. Not this year, but a like athlete may have a different opinion.

Dining hall:

The dining hall is open, we have one in the center of campus. Everyone kinda winces at that but campus is really not big so like. it's really not as bad as it sounds.

You can eat in blanch (dining hall). It's a really great place to socialize, generally has a very good vibe. Lots of different areas to sit in depending on the level of talking you want to do.

I will also go ahead and give my review of the food: It is generally really good depending on what you like. They do some dishes REALLY well and some dishes really poorly, but most of their dishes are at least a base-level okay. Which, sounds bad. until you consider most college dining hall food in the US is inedible. The food is edible!! high praise I know.

The food gets old after a while but I think that is true at any place. Generally I give the food a solid like 8/10.

General stuff:

Community/Social life:

So, I really love the community at mount holyoke. I've found some really good friends here, and I know so many people at the school. The small school is really something I enjoy because now as a junior I know so many people on campus and feel connected.

A lot of people complain about being really lonely. To some extent - yeah, I get it. I have had times here where I've been really lonely too. But I think that's moreso the transient nature of college than a community thing, because we really do have a strong community. I can post on my IG story or twitter asking if anyone has ibuprofen and a random person I have never met before will come bring it to me at work, because we're both mhc students and have been following each other for a while. I think through little stuff like that it shows the community's strength, and that's something I really love.

Joining activities is a great way to make friends - doing SGA stuff like committees or senate is another great way to connect.

Campus is as gay as everyone says it is - there are a lot of lgbtq people on campus and campus is very lgbtq friendly. Some of my straight friends have had a lot of issues finding men to date, some have found it really easy, so if you wanted to date a dude that's a mixed bag.

If you are a person of color, I would absolutely reach out to a person of color at mount holyoke. I'm white and that has absolutely colored my experience of MHC. I'm happy to put you in contact with someone if you would like.

Administration:

Going directly against that is the administration. the administration suuuuuucks. they suck ass. but this isn't something unique to mhc - the administration at every school pm sucks ass, and it's just a question of who is willing to say it. A lot of people don't have a concept of how the college actually operates - they equate the president of the college to the principal of a high school. The president is front-facing and collects money from alums and carries out what the board of trustees tells her to do, but doesn't really make day-to-day/big decisions at the college.

The people who make those decisions are the heads of departments around campus - some are pretty cool and trying their best, but a lot of them suck ass. Or, even if they don't suck ass make choices that are in the best interest of the institution versus the students.

This is true at any college - remember this regardless of where you go. Administration does not actually care about you. You are a resource for them - you are providing some amount of money now, and will most likely donate some amount of money after graduating. Do not be afraid to campaign for yourself, do not take what the administration of what any college says at face value.

MHC's admin isn't any worse than any other colleges, we just really like to complain. (That isn't to say they don't suck - they do, it's just that every college's administration does).

Location:

So this is very dependent on where you are from but you will most likely go some modicum of stir crazy on campus. South Hadley is very sleepy and rural. There are a few cute places in SH but realistically you won't hang out there regularly because they're fairly expensive.

It is approximately a 20 minute drive to anything. If you have a car I would absolutely recommend bringing it. I am from the DC area and I would literally go crazy if i didn't have my car because I am still so unused to being able to go nowhere and do nothing. There's stuff to do in the area, you just have to be willing to go look for it.

Regarding actual campus, it is fucking GORGEOUS. It is really pretty honestly year round. There's so many places to walk and sit and vibe and the views from the dorms are really nice. I just generally really love it.

Other stuff:

This is all the stuff I can think of like right now, but if you have additional questions feel free to dm me or whatever, I'd be happy to answer any other questions you have or go more in-depth about anything i said.

5 notes · View notes

sneezefiction · 4 years

Text

meet the family

Tsukishima x Reader - Scenario

request: “hii gracie🥺 i've kinda been obsessed with ur stuff recently and just wanted to a scenario with tsuki having a s/o (fem reader but idrc honestly) who has really protective brothers and has to like try and "earn" their respect idkkk but yea im totaallyyy not requesting this cause i have really protective brothers.... :/ anyways again i love ir stuff hope u have a good day:) -🕊”

a/n: ahhh i enjoyed writing this so much !! it really helped me tap into Tsukki’s personality a bit more. thank you so much for the request <3

warnings: anxiety, low self-esteem

wc: 1050

---

“They’re gonna hate me.”

“No, they won’t.”

“They’ll think I’m lame.” He counters.

“But you’re not.”

“How long do we have to stay for?”

“It’s just dinner, Tsukki, you’ll be fine.” Your reassuring voice helping calm his nerves, even if just by a little bit.

The questions and statements are scattered throughout the length of the car ride. Tsukki’s fingers lightly drumming on his thigh. Trickling down the window, the tapping of gentle raindrops doing their best to soothe the passengers inside. You delicately place your free hand onto his, the other carefully gripped around the steering wheel.

You glance over.

He cleaned up so nicely for tonight, knowing how important it was for him to meet your family. You helped him pick up a pair of skinny, dark jeans and a dressier top. The colors in the shirt made his beautiful, honey-brown eyes pop.

And you love those eyes… but right now they’re anxious.

It took many months of dating and several brutally honest, late-night conversations, but you eventually learned just how severely Tsukki struggles with self-confidence.

Your heart sinks, knowing the internal dialogue going on inside him. The one that’s at war with his more logical side. Tsukishima has learned how to stand up against the darker demons, but that doesn’t mean he’s not ferociously battling to find his worth.

However, tonight is especially rough because there’s one tiny detail he can’t seem to get over.

Your brothers.

From how you described them, he was pretty sure they’d want nothing to do with him. That he’d be regarded as a piece of trash, in need of throwing out.

Because Tsukishima isn’t exactly a sweet guy.

He’s also not fazed by others disliking him. He already dislikes himself enough as it is. So confidence doesn’t affect how he lives his day to day life… but it definitely affects how close he is willing to get to a person.

In all honesty, Tsukki showcases his worst traits so that only those who really want to be near him, will stick around in the end.

But somehow, even with his rudest comments and his standoffish demeanor, you gravitated toward him. You made it clear that this wasn’t a short term interest. You aren’t some shooting star, acting as a wish giver, getting his hopes up only to sail right past him.

He doesn’t deserve you.

He’s sure your brothers will realize this and make it known to you.

But, for now, you actually want him.

And you make him feel wanted.

So here he is, one year into the relationship, mentally preparing for his demise. All for you.

You pull up in the bumpy, gravel driveway, your palm still warming up the top of his hand. Car doors click open and shoes crunch around on the pebbly ground.

You make your way up the steps of your old, familiar home, a heavy wave of nostalgia washing over you.

Tsukki follows right up, meeting you at your side and gently grasps a couple of your fingers. It’s his way of saying, “I’ll be okay.” You let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding in.

A couple knocks on the door and you’re welcomed swiftly by warm, enthusiastic faces. Your two brothers bring you into a group hug of sorts as you reconnect for the first time many months.

Their gazes then wander over to Tsukishima, eyes looking up and down, sizing him up, identifying their sister’s first longterm boyfriend.

Tsukki holds his stoic face for a moment and then lets a friendly smile shine through. He has perfected the art of squashing his nerves in front of normal human eyes. Only you can tell he’s grappling with his mind in this moment.

“Boys, meet Tsukishima. Tsukishima these are my brothers!” You introduce calmly, signaling your brothers to greet him with the same energy they gave you.

“Hey, Tsukishima, how goes it?” One of the two speaks up.

“Nice to meet you both. It’s going fine, the drive was really pleasant.” Tsukki responds cordially.

“Oh, I’m sure it was. Both of you come on inside.” The other replies, leading you indoors.

You make yourself at home, kicking off shoes and hanging up your jacket.

You turn around only to realize that your boyfriend is suddenly missing along with the other two boys.

Poor fella, I hope they don’t do anything strange, you hope to yourself.

---

Ah, of course. Confrontation, my favorite, Tsukki mentally remarks. Apparently, even under stress, he still manages to drip in sarcasm.

Your brothers have quietly pulled him aside in the short time you took your eyes off him.

Oh, what he would give to be back at home, lying down and listening to music with your arms wrapped around him.

But the thought is short-lived. He’s eye to eye with your family and needs to take whatever shit he needs to take to get through tonight.

“Look,” The taller one of your brothers starts, “clearly y/n likes you a lot.”

Not exactly the most intimidating way to start an interrogation, Tsukki muses.

“And we want her to be happy…” continues the other.

Tsukki nods slowly, waiting for the “but.”

“So are you willing to do that for us?” They finish, one of them setting a firm, trusting hand on his shoulder.

“Because we want to like you, but first we have to like how you treat our y/n.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widen only by a fraction, but he’s sincerely confused. He was expecting something… tougher? Scarier? Hell, he’d anticipated being roughed up at least a little bit.

But it was nothing like what he’d imagined. It was short and to the point. They just needed to know that he would be there for you, since they can’t always be by your side, fending of your enemies and fears.

Their question isn’t a difficult one to answer.

He wants what’s best for you because he loves you. He would do anything to make sure you were secure and cherished.

The words come easily to Tsukishima’s lips.

“...Yes. You can trust me with y/n.” Tsukki nods thoughtfully.

“I won’t ever hurt her or let anyone touch her.” He promises them. It’s simple, but honest.

He was overthinking it the entire time. Your brothers didn’t want him out of your life… they just wanted you protected. Safe and cared for. Treated with respect and integrity.

They don’t hate him.

They don’t think he’s lame.

But it’s definitely not “just dinner.”

No, this is just the beginning of Tsukishima’s proving himself to you. Proving himself to your family, that he can love you well.

That he can defend you.

Fight for you.

So he reconvenes with you for dinner with a newfound conviction, thanks to your brothers.

He now knows he has to be confident. Confident in himself and in his choices.

If not for him, at least for you.

447 notes · View notes

thetwelfthcrow · 3 years

Note

Thanks for answering the ask about 4433! I did notice Frenkie is not really a Max ‘fan,’ which is understandable given the controversial things he has done. Also, the other 4433 creator seemed to stop supporting the ship not because of the toxicity but because of Max.

For me the trouble with shipping 4433 isn’t the toxicity between the two fan groups (that’s obviously a problem too but not one that affects me as much). I, like Frenkie, think Max is a good driver but over the past few months it’s grown difficult to support him (I promise I’m not a hater!). And I find myself defending him for things I don’t even think are correct and slowly it’s been eating at my conscience. And of course Lewis isn’t a saint but he has done so much to combat racism and fight for good causes, and it just feels good supporting him. Whereas with Max sometimes I feel like I only support him because he’s hot as hell and I always get caught out by his smile.

Again, this isn’t meant as Max hate. I’m still a Max fan, I think, but I feel less and less good about it every day and though I enjoy 4433, it’s getting harder.

I don't really keep up with other people's opinions on this site, if I'm honest. I'm mostly here to get more content, pictures, gifs, fics, edits, etc. and not people's opinions on everything and nothing. I'm also not one to share my opinion on the incident or whatever, or Max's driving style, or Lewis' or how they act on social media on here, bc i... well, I just don't see the worth.

i will share some opinions down here tho lmao so I'm kinda contradicting myself but whatever😅. I see how there's more toxicity around Max than ever, but ah well! I don't care. I think he's cool, I like him, I enjoy the content, I hope he does well. I don't really let the toxicity that some blogs but on their blog get to me. everyone has opinions, and I agree with some and disagree with others. in the end, it won't change much anyways.

see, there's a very interesting thing you pose here, anon! I don't understand, and probably never will, the whole need to defend your fav. your fav does dumb shit! your fav does things you don't agree with!

your fav is flawed!

and that's okay! I don't know how to feel about the entire Monza-incident, bc various experienced (former) F1-drivers have expressed their opinion with the photos and footage presented, and they rarely agree with each other. I am but a little idiot on the internet who thinks cars go vroom are cool, and that's okay! I don't feel the need to defend Max's actions against things people say, or whatever. people will always have opinions, and I have 'em too, but there's no need for me to defend Max against these people. or just, in general. he's an adult, he did a thing that was maybe a bit not-so-smart, to put it lightly, and if he stands by it, he stands by it, and if he doesn't, he'll express his regret or new vision sooner or later.

i am a Max fan, based on his driving, his personality, his looks, etc. he's done stuff that I don't agree with, and that's okay! I can still be a Max-fan if the dude's a lil' idiot sometime. we all are, tbh.

really I think Max's recent driving-style has got some influence based on how he's super close to winning the championship, maybe it's his way of showing he's under pressure, so he can remain calm n collected off-track. I think if, instead of Lewis, say, Carlos had driven there, he would've reacted differently. but there's no need to think of these hypothetical situations, since they haven't happened and we don't know what would've happened had they happened. woah, what a sentence.

and hey, in your last ask you said something about that people should do what makes them happiest, right? you shouldn't put yourself in this... conundrum of who-to-love because of the opinion that others have. some max fans are shitty, some lewis fans are shitty, who cares! in the end, do whatever makes you happiest. and if max's smile makes you happy, keep looking at it! have fun! and if lewis' activism makes you happy, keep supporting him! have fun! I get that it can be hard in this environment, but don't push yourself to do anything. you're not obliged to be a max fan, or a lewis fan, or, hell, even an f1 fan. you should do what makes you happy. so do that. and don't let anyone tell you you're doing something bad, if it makes you happy.

god, this sounds super cliche, but sometimes I feel like people on social media need to pinch their own skin and take a breathing pause. does writing a big-ass essay on driver x's behaviour make you happy, or do you feel like you're constantly in this negative energy? reflect a lil' bit, maybe take a break, or whatever. and then focus on the things u like.

this is, after all, but one site with many people's ideas and creations. it's not your job, it's not your responsibility to have people agree with you, it's not your responsibility to ensure driver x gets loved, and it's definitely not your responsibility to defend driver x for his actions.

hope that makes some sense! hope that helps! and as always, feel free to hop in my inbox anytime <3 love to chat!

#zhalia’s lil chit chat #max verstappen #lewis hamilton #4433 anon #anon #ask

8 notes · View notes

mel-can-write · 3 years

Photo

The last week had been spent sitting in front of your laptop every hour you could get, grinding in LOH for what was probably way too much of your time. You’d definitely improved, if at the cost of your sanity and grades, and you were absolutely prepared to destroy Bakugou. Oh, and his friends. Them too.

You’d put your horrific defeat last time you’d played against the explosive dumbass to a lack of sleep and the fact that you were absolutely unprepared for... Well, him in general. This time, however, you would not make the same mistake.

You were gonna destroy him.

“-and that’s how I almost melted my first grade teacher.”

“Mina, what the hell,” your voice was deadpan as you questioned your friend and her ability to launch into crazy stories after three seconds of talking to someone.

“Oh hey, Y/N!” You could almost hear her shit-eating grin through the voice chat. There was a demonic distortion as everyone in the VC greeted you at once, and you cringed. How had you not learnt to turn the volume down when you joined these things? You weren’t sure, to be honest.

“Wait, Y/N was the last person, right?” Kirishima’s voice piped through your ear. “The code’s in the chat, by the way, Y/N, so join and we’ll start.”

“Yup, one sec.”

As soon as you joined the game, you were greeted by the familiar face of a particular frowning bastard. Your friends were messing around in one corner of the lobby, apparently tormenting Kaminari, but your attention was on the avatar of the prick stood in front of you.

Oh, you were so ready to take him down.

Sadly, things do not always work out as planned.

The first time you came across Mr. Explosion Murder, the odds were definitely not stacked in your favour, and you died fairly quick, with him attacking you head-on, and someone you recognised to be Jirou doing damage from behind. Altogether an embarrassing run for you, though you were determined to pull things back into your favour.

And so the next round seemed to be going well, with you finding good items and having your friends beside you to watch your back. It seemed like everything could only go well for you!

That is, until the Fire Nation attacked.

And a Fire Nation they were, the group consisting of Kaminari, Sero, and, of course, Bakugou completely tearing through any defences Kirishima put up and launching Mina into the air with her own acid. Monoma was too far to be of much help and you could only take down Sero before you were dispatched into the clutches of the “You Died!” screen. Truly horrifying.

The next few rounds were not kind to you either, and even your unrelenting stubbornness gave way to a simple and harsh truth:

You just couldn’t win.

Sure, your team had scored a couple of rounds, but you were never able to achieve your goal of obliterating a self-centered, obnoxious, way-too-good-at-video-games-for-his-own-good bastard, and if you couldn’t do that, what was the point of anything?

After hours of aggressive clicking and swearing at a computer screen, you all had to call it quits, with everyone being friendly, if a little sleepy, in their goodbyes. Everyone but you and Bakugou.

You were quiet more out of petty annoyedness than anything, and Bakugou was Bakugou, so none of you had any sort of expectations there. You had to remind yourself to not be a sore loser and actually, you know, be nice to your opponents after the game was done, which was difficult when one of your opponents was one-upping you constantly in the one thing you claimed mastery at, with seemingly no effort. Either way, you said your goodbyes, and left the company of your friends to sit in silence, staring at your phone.

Well, as mortifying as you felt this was going to be, no harm in trying something out... Right?

〣 GAME ON: LVL 4 - Boss Battle〣

『 bakugou x reader SMAU 』

⊳ S U M M A R Y :

Video games are a great way to unwind, and for you, it’s more than just a hobby; it’s a passion. But when the cocky friend of your friend begins to beat you at your own game, things start to get serious.

⊳ A U T H O R ‘ S N O T E:

woah a somewhat longun, ain’t this dandy- couldn’t put the end pics in rows cause tumblr and all that jazz but hope y’all enjoy anyway!

edit: not me realising half the tags dont work like 2 weeks after i posted this what nooo

⊳ t a g l i s t :

ask to be added or removed~

@deephasoceanmagic, @tumbling-down-hills-and-stuff, @paige-j13, @pasteldaze, @adorablepandasuniverse, @darksoulofanangel, @grayed-ace, @thatsheepwithagun, @tsukkispoundlandheadphones, @sorrythatspussynal, @paradigmax, @torilovesmiraculous, @thesleepysphinx

32 notes · View notes

loptyrs-moved · 3 years

Note

Can you talk more abt ur fandoms ocs? I like your writing a lot and would like to know more abt em

Oh my goodness I’m 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re SO sweet thank you!

Well, I have quite a few and some have their own deeper lore stories that go with them. If you guys want more information on them, I can do separate posts on all of them. But Here they are! I’m so excited to share my babies with you!

More is under the cut. The Picrew I used is here.

Ikemen Revolution

Black Army Side

Corrin Fukui

Age: Appears to be in mid-early twenties

Hair: Brick white

Eyes: Blood Red

Height: 4′11

Any other Qualities:

Draconic features -- She’s literally a dragon but not by nature

Curved Opalescent Horns

Shimmery opalescent tail

Wings that also shimmer in the light

retractable?

Pointed ears

Easily frightened by loud noises and sudden movements

stunted growth

Hoards blankets and comfort items

writes in a journal every day

its one luka got for her and she refuses to write in anything else. she pours her heart out on the pages, and all her memories

she had a brother! but he passed away because of the magic tower :(

turns into a gIANT DRAGON

ICE ICE BREATH BABY

Was found by Luka while on a patrol near the forbidden forest, lost and afraid, so she was taken in

Had amnesia at first

She actually is an experiment of Amon and she managed to escape

Excellent at sewing and gardening

Sufficient with baking

She’s for Luka! The way they fell for each other was a slow, gradual trust, and mutual understanding. She saw him as a man, as he was, and nothing else.

Sometimes is called Corri

gentle hearted and innocent

but not as innocent as you’d think

she’s a dragon, and she’s a greedy little one

Ophelia Dae

Age: 24

Hair: Crimson red

Eyes: Jade green

Height: 5′8

Any other Qualities:

A skilled swordsman, and one of the Chosen Thirteen

9 of Spades baybeee

While she is more accustomed to short swords and sabers, Phelia is a magic user! But she isn’t really in agreement with Ray with his stance on magic

BOMBASTIC AS HELL

BISEXUAL

“Is he bothering you Queen?”

Trans

Was friends with Ray and Fenrir while in school, and was just as much of a hellraiser as them

she was there when the day things went dark happened and was almost taken but that day is a blur for her

phelia REFUSES to talk about it

she still has nightmares

raised by a single mother

TRIVIA! She was an old fire emblem oc i had and she was the daughter of Arvis -- so if you squint when she uses magic you’ll see Valflame

joined the army probably because Fenrir was too, and she was inspired by him

she joined for her own reasons but he made it easier for her to do it too

his passion was what made her fall for him in the first place

has a personal vendetta against the magic tower for what they did to her and her friends

AND CORRIN JEEZ

will sacrifice herself if necessary to the cause

PROBABLY HAS ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT

Bruh girl

Amira Nasiri

Age: 22

Hair: Chocolate brown

Eyes: Turquoise blue

Height: 5′3

Any other qualities:

My version of Alice! Difference is that she’s Persian

That’s it

She’s just as spunky as Alice

however she responds with being called Alice a little different

she’s adamant about being called Amira

At some point she just accepts Seth does it to distance himself

also an avid baker like alice

pISTACIOS

BAKLAVA

Amira is just Alice except she’s just my take on her.

She has the same vibrant spirit as Alice

and I personally consider Seth the canon route for REASONS

just ask me why fjgdfgjksd

Red Army Side

Azul Flores

Age: 25

Hair: Raven black

Eyes: Wisteria purple

Height: 5′0

Any Other Qualities:

An old friend of the Queen of Hearts

like she met him when she was 8 years old

fought his bullies when they would give him a hard time when he was a kid

they dated for a WHILE

did NOT work out

HARD CHILDHOOD

Ambitious, hard working young woman who was married into a high standing family on the Red side. Her mother was a teacher and gained the attention of one of the Chosen Thirteen on that side, and got married

Azul is NOT the officer’s daughter. She’s his step daughter

Has had extensive studies on the History of Cradle and of the Red Territory.

Wants to be a Cradle Historian

Works for the Red Army as a personal assistant to the queen

UNINTENTIONAL

THEY ACTUALLY CANT STAND EACH OTHER

Unless....

Look their story is very dramatic and it hurts me every day so please stay tuned with them.

CUT THROAT BITCH

YOUR DEVIL

DEMON

Heckles Jonah like its her job — she knows him better than anyone elsd, if anyone knows his bs, its her

Bad resting bitch face

Actually really shy, and quiet when in different surroundings

A sweetheart and will cut a bitch for you once she knows u

She is perhaps one of the most transparent, honest, genuine person. there is no bullshit with her. she will tell you her honest thoughts with you

Cerise Nam

Age: 19

Hair: Berry Pink

Eyes: Petal Pink

Height: 5′2

Any other qualities:

Her mom came to Cradle from a far off place, and set up a food and pastry shop in the Central Quarter. Met her dad. Been there since

They live in Black Territory

She works for her parents and works with the pastries/desserts

loves making desserts from where her parents are from

She knows the Queen of Hearts VERY well since she makes the best mille feuille

Got a job from him actually, and works for the Red Army Headquarters kitchen

Loves to cook and bake!

a little naïve, but she’s a realist

youngest of FIVE kids!!

Morning girl

She may be petite but she can HEAFT heavy bags of flour/rice/dry goods

Met Zero by accident, and crashed into him while in town

love at first sight for her. how can you fault her?

she thinks he’s dreamy... and sweet...

does she flirt with him a little? Cerise can’t help it...

She and Zero have more of a hidden relationship because she fears her parents won’t approve

family stuff -- and she understands

RED ARMY OFFICER?? BLACK TERRITORY GIRL

look im cheesy

dont worry it works out

zero has to consider himself and his own personal stuff too so its a little difficult

Non Army Suitor(s)

Lucile Lidell

Age: 20

Hair: Straw blonde

Eyes: Aqua blue

Height: 5'1

Any other qualities:

She and her twin, Noelle, are the actual descendants of the original Alice

Inherited unusual hairpins that were from cradle

More of the 'modern woman stuck in the wrong time' kind of gal

Rebellious

Noelle and Luci: partners in crime

Short skirts galore

Does not give a singular shit of what MEN think of her

Wants to be taken seriously

Sometimes acts like an airhead in order to get attention. She's actually pretty somber as a person and prefers to be in the background as her sister takes the stage

loves her sister more than anyone else in the world

When she and Noelle fall into Cradle, they kind of hightail it and live in the woods with Harr and Loki

Sticks with Harr since he's literally the least threatening man ever

First man to feel safe around

"Excuse me he said NO pickles!"

Will cut a bitch for him, or use magic -- luci will hurt someone if they even think a bout looking at him wrong

Loves to make clothes

'I mended the holes in your cloak for you...' 'Bye Harr, be safe and have a good day.'

'Welcome home, I missed you.'

Puts up a tough girl front but she's just a big softie just like him

Doesn't realize she has a crush on him until shit starts to hit the fan

Actually very vanilla tbh but wants to spoil her bf

Ikemen Sengoku

Ito Tsunade

Age: 26

Hair: Straw Blonde

Eyes: Molten Gold

Height: 5′5

Any Other Qualities:

Graduate student at the same university as Sasuke

got stuck in the storm with him and Mai, and was tossed into the sengoku era

but she got separated from Mai

Met Shingen first much to her luck because uh.... lets say Tsunade is aint the sharpest tool in the shed

HEAD EMPTY

ZERO THOUGHTS

AIRHEAD

her aesthetic when she gets there?

TITS OUT

BIG HONKERS BIG TATA

HOT

her head might be empty but her tits are fat and they will protect you

Music nerd — loves traditional Japanese instruments, especially the difficult ones

Specializes in girl metal in modern day

eventually proves herself and plays some sick chords for the takeda/uesegi forces

she has entertained them for now

puts sake away like a monster

when she meets sasuke, she finds comfort in the fact he’s also lost with her, so she clings

asks him how to protect herself from shingen bc he’s horny lolol

genuinely thinks sasuke is hilarious

also does NOT realize she’s in love with him until the gravest of grave happens

her name was UNINTENTIONAL

Aibana Hinata

Age: Presents in his early-mid twenties

Hair: Black Midnight

Eyes: Haunting gold and vermillion

Height: 5'3

Any other qualities:

The concubine of Nobunaga

Please know I made him a long while before the other guy was dropped so I’m just gonna offer this little gay boy

Nobunaga bought him from a brothel after being so intrigued by him. Hina entertained him so well that he was set for life

A RIGHT SNARKY BASTARD

HE KNOWS HE’S PRETTY AND CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER

Likes to challenge Nobunaga in battles of wits

board games

debate as pillow talk

swordplay if the lords will entertain him enough

Bisexual as hell

Gender? Don’t know her

He uses all pronouns

True pronoun: princess

ONLY EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS MAI

Nobunaga/Mai/Hinata........

Unless.......

Smart, and educated

former geisha

he can read! and write!

LOVE FUCKING WITH HIDEYOSHI

if there is mai, he would bond with her like no one else

he would be her best friend

her confidant

genuinely adores her

even if she is pursuing nobunaga, he doesn’t resent her ... he just wishes that she would find room in her heart for him too

puts up a tough exterior

a softie.....

10 notes · View notes

vegetalass · 4 years

Note

ik this is a bit odd, but can you do some hc about micah as a kid/teen like his family life and stuff idk

This totally isn’t odd at all, anon! I love writing / thinking about this kind of topic too so I’m so happy you asked! Obviously, I’m taking some liberties here to create more of a narrative / backstory... but I hope you like it anyway!

I’m sorry that they’re not the happiest…. If u want happy just send me another request and i gotchu!!

I also couldn’t decide if u wanted in game or modern so I just did both LOL

In Game

As far as we know, Micah is the third of his line and has a (younger) brother, Amos

It’s honestly pretty easy to see Micah growing up without a mother...

Either because she left or because she died when he was very young

And because his father is an outlaw, Micah has a hard time getting a straight story out of him of what happened to her anyway

One thing that he probably knows for sure, however, is the fact that his father was probably very abusive to her, mostly because we can infer that he was abusive to Micah, as well

Hence why her leaving, dying, or getting left behind isn’t an implausible thought

That being said, everyone loves their mother, and I think the lack of growing up with one definitely is part of what makes him so cruel, angry, and bitter

Especially as he’s growing up, since part of him feels like he was robbed of being loved

This is also pretty ironic because this situation is very close to that of Arthur’s... as he also has a dead mother and outlaw father

That’s why, I think, in a way, Micah trying to follow in his father's footsteps was and is a defense mechanism

It acts as a way to both protect himself from his father’s wrath and a way for him to do something other than sit around and be miserable

Or in Amos’ case, as his father probably says, being useless

You know, the “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality

I think that while initially Micah went along with his father’s demands just to placate his anger, eventually, doing as his father asked and following without question was the only thing that really got him praise and made him feel proud of himself

This is also part of why Micah wants to be and feel like a survivor so badly

And how he starts to feel a sense of pride in his name, too

Despite also being someone who definitely likes receiving praise from people he thinks he’s supposed to respect

Despite the fact that he supposedly ran with his brother for a time, his brother is a lot more empathetic than him, and I can see how this may be what caused the rift between them a long, long time ago

Back when they were kids, even, and Micah still chased squirrels with sticks for fun

When he first started acting like his father, Amos questioned, begged him even, to stop doing senseless and reckless things for attention

And this was such that, when they did start running things together, Micah still held this feeling of resentment toward Amos for being better than him, kinder, that hasn’t, and will never, go away

And Micah, having never really known love, doesn’t know what else there is to do other than hate him for this

Growing up hungry never did anyone any favors, anyway

Modern

I think that in a more modern setting, Micah would be what some might consider white trash

He grows up poor, with a drunk daddy who’s not around and constantly in trouble with the law

The only difference I imagine is that in modern times, his mother is around for a little while longer

In this case, he has memories or her holding him and telling him she loves him and his brother

This is why her eventual leaving makes him into a bitter and angry person in this case, as well, despite the fact that Micah knows that she loved him

Though one can see how he probably started being mean to her, too, just like his father

Parents aside, he lives in a small house with a big yard

He has to share a room with Amos, which he resents

And if his dad isn’t drunk, he’s asleep in front of the tv or God knows where

Despite all of the fighting and their differences, Micah cooks and Amos cleans

Mostly because Micah doesn’t mind stealing the food they eat (even at this young age)

As a kid, he also plays in the yard a lot

They probably have a couple balls lying around and some garden tools that they play with

Carves his name into the fence once and gets chewed out by his father

Or he goes over to the houses of other kids in the neighborhood to hang out and eat dinner with them

The other moms always make him bring Amos so he can eat, too

Despite him and the other boys being mean to and wrassling with and bullying each other, these are fond memories for him

Being surrounded by people who are similar to him is a great comfort

And having this kind of connection with others sort of builds on what he likes about Dutch later in life, too

I think being a teenager gets a little more difficult for him because as he ages, he has less of an excuse to be immature and reliant on other people

And the older he gets, the more he’s forced to face the fact that his mother left his family, his brother doesn’t really like him, and his dad is a drunk criminal

And as his dad starts disappearing more and more, Micah really has to try not to go out and follow him

Because he knows if he does he’ll either get dragged into the fight, hurt, or both

This is also when things get more tense with Amos, too, as Micah finds his personality to be a lot more prominent than when they were kids

Micah thinks Amos is bossy and overbearing because he’s always trying to get him to do the right thing

And since they eventually both get jobs while going to school, Amos tries to tell Micah to steal less and be more honest with the world so his future can be better than his past

Amos is also probably better with the girls at school too, which Micah finds annoying

I like to think that in all situations, Amos does love Micah, but knows he can’t fix him

Overall, Micah is a broken and cruel person, but I think it stems from the fact that the world was cruel to him, first

#rdr2 #rdr2 headcanons #red dead redemption 2 headcanons #red dead redemption 2 #micah bell #hopefully this is what u had in mind anon #i actually LOVED doing this ask so thank u for sending it in!!!!#im listening to some music from middle school so im in a weird mood which made this very fun to edit #anyway..... ENJOY ILY #the other requests might take me a bit but dw yall theyll get done!!#Anonymous #anon

54 notes · View notes

nate-santos · 3 years

Text

Friend or Dough || Nate & Orion

TIMING: Early January LOCATION: Fondante’s Inferno PARTIES: @3starsquinn @nate-santos SUMMARY: Rio comes to get some late night sweets CONTENT WARNINGS: Just sweet fun!

It was long past dark by the time that Orion finally left the Scribrary. A glance at his phone as he hiked through the woods to get to the closest parking lot where he could pull the car up told him that it was just past two in the morning. He weighed his options. He could drive back to the house and try to scrounge up some food. This late in the night, that wasn’t exactly ideal. But the late hour didn’t leave many options either. He was more than familiar with the Fondante’s Inferno than any normal, sane person probably should be. One perk of living with his nightmare of a family came with a seemingly endless allowance that allowed him to divulge in any sweet tooth craving he had. Now, he didn’t even want to know how much money he had dropped at the bakery since he had moved out on his own. He had a bad habit of dropping in at late hours and ordering in bulk to keep at the Scribrary as his own personal self serve buffet.

By the time he got to the bakery, it was inching closer and closer to that three in the morning deadline, and Orion rushed into the shop in a hurry, out of breath and already offering apologies. “Hey! I’m sorry. So sorry. I don’t mean to keep you any later than you’re already here. I was hoping to get here before you closed.” He tried perusing the leftover goods as he rested his palms on his knees and tried to catch his breath. There wasn’t much that wasn’t good at this bakery, ran by a guy around the same age and wildly more successful than himself clearly. Luckily, the guy seemed incredibly nice. “How’s it going tonight? Busy day?” At almost three in the morning, it wasn’t any surprise that Rio found himself as the only remaining customer in the place. But he always recommended the place to others and hoped that during normal hours the place stayed busy.

Late nights didn’t bother Nate. Sure, it was his shop and he could set the hours, but late at night, the town seemed to become a more peaceful place. Plus he never wanted to alienate the previous owners’ regulars, even if he never seemed to have what they were looking for. The usual “after bar” crowd had just finished filtering out and Nate looked at the clock. Three was coming on quick and he hadn’t seen his most regular regular yet. His brow furrowed and he set about sweeping up and cashing out the register, happy to be alone for a bit. Easing his way back into the storefront had been harder than anticipated. More than one of his usual customers had apparently shifted in his subconscious to be more monstrous than friendly and it was difficult to focus when the old woman you’ve known your whole life was staring at you with glowing red eyes.

Like a tornado, someone rushed into the shop, breathlessly looking over the day’s last fresh pastries. Nate spun on his heel at the sound of the door, nearly tripping over the dustpan he’d just dropped, only to feel relief wash over him like a tidal wave. “Orion! Hey!” He propped the broom against the counter as the rush of adrenaline eased its way through his body. “You know you never have to apologize for keeping me late, you’re my best customer,” he laughed, prepping a few boxes for whatever the guy picked out tonight. “Not so busy, mostly just pick ups and stuff. But not too shabby.” It was more than a relief to say that Orion looked entirely and perfectly normal. Regular human, no scary teeth or hands or scales to be seen. “What’s keeping you out so late?” He asked, already putting a few of the older pastries in a box.

Nate was always a friendly face, and someone that Orion was especially happy to give business too. It was only a plus, or to go too far into a pun, the cherry on top, that the food was incredible. The two had found a sort of easy groove with each other. Rio showed up at odd hours and bought way too many baked goods at once and Nate was incredibly friendly about it and even seemed to specifically make things that he knew Rio liked. The latter of which had not gone unnoticed by Rio, who was especially thankful. “Oh I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure there are plenty of other good customers that show up during like… normal people hours.” Rio laughed nervously, never quite sure how to properly accept compliments. “Besides, you make it very easy to want to come back.” Deflecting with his own compliments was usually the best line of defense that Rio had. “Oh you know. The usual.” Rio shrugged, trying to think of exactly what the usual was. He hated lying, even to people he didn’t necessarily know very well. “I get caught up in an assignment or studying and end up staying too late.” That was about as truthful as he could be to someone that didn’t know about the Scribrary. “Wanted to make sure I stopped by before you closed though. Wouldn’t want to miss out on whatever you came up with today.”

Nate chuckled as Rio perused the goods. “Sure, but boring people come at normal hours and what fun is that?” It was a joke, but Nate wished it was true. What he wouldn’t give for all his customers to actually be normal again. His smile flickered for only a moment before he was back to his jovial self. Something about Rio always brought this side of him back to the forefront. It was like the accident never happened and he could joke and have small talk without the fear that now always lingered in the back of his mind. “Speaking of,” Nate said with a glimmer in his eye before racing to the back mid sentence. “I’ve got something for you to try!” He called, rummaging through boxes to find the new recipe he’d been playing with. Carrying it gingerly back out to the front as if it were some precious heirloom, Nate presented the tarts to his patron. “Chocolate blueberry tarts with a hint of lime. I know it sounds weird, but seriously.” Nate made the chef kiss motion with his hands. “Maybe these will help get you through the late night study sessions.” He could tell there was probably more to it than just studying late, but Nate didn’t like to pry. If people wanted to let him into their lives, they would. It never did any good to try to force your way in, especially when it’s really none of your business.

Unwrapping one of the tarts, Nate held it up for a little cheers. It was customary at this point for them to try some of his new creations together and while they weren’t all winners, they were usually still pretty darn good if he said so himself. Nate was a little apprehensive about this batch, given that he’d been low on yeast and had to dip into his bread delivery box to make the crust, but it couldn’t actually be sentient, right? That was just a marketing gimmick. “Cheers! To late nights and delicious sweets!”

Orion laughed with Nate, ignoring that there probably wasn’t anyone in town more boring than Rio himself. Sure, terrifying and arguably exciting things seemed to happen around him. But those all seemed adjacent to the hermit that Rio actually was. At least that’s how he wanted to be. Between the hunter heritage, the supernatural library and the part where he may or may not have murdered his parents he felt like he should be a lot more interesting than he actually was. “Well I can’t say that I’m not super boring. My book bag is filled with like twenty pounds of random history books and autobiographies. But I appreciate the compliment anyways.” Nate got sidetracked quickly, rushing into the back. Through the doors, Rio could hear him search until he pushed back out into the main area holding a tray of what looked to be some kind of tart or pastry. Rio’s face brightened, but he didn’t react until Nate actually named the sweets. “Oh my god. Did you say blueberry? You’re a god send.” Rio clapped excitedly, swinging the book bag off of his back and dropping it onto the floor with a heavy thud. Nate had always been open to asking Rio’s feedback on some of the new creations. When it came to sweets, Rio was practically a raccoon. He would eat just about anything Nate offered, and he usually ended up liking it. Though Nate must have picked up on how much Rio loved pairing blueberry in his pastries. “My two favorite things!” Rio raised a tart in the air before biting into it. The odd trio of flavors may have sounded strange, but the combination blended perfectly and Rio released a happy sigh after two more bites to finish the thing off. “Holy crap that’s so good. Thank you for sharing this!” Rio licked his lips of any leftover chocolate before speaking again, “The bread tasted a little different this time. Good, just different. Is it something new?”

Nate had always felt like Rio was a kindred spirit, and tonight was no different. “I don’t think that’s so boring,” he replied before taking a bite of his own tart. Nate loved his historical books, even if it seemed a bit lame at times. Biographies were some of the most interesting stories out there. “You know the saying, Stranger than Fiction?” He smiled, taking another bite. Man, he hit it out of the park with these. Nate closed his eyes for a moment, letting the flavors sink in. Baking was one of the few things that brought him complete and utter peace and this flipping tart was no different. He’d really have to make more of an effort to find his secret bread admirer, ‘cause this batch of yeast had done wonders for the recipe. “You really like it?” He asked through a mouthful of blueberries. He could always trust Rio to give him an honest review, but it seemed more and more likely that the kid was gonna enjoy anything he gave him. “I tried a new type of yeast,” he answered, his face falling a bit. “Can you really tell?” Sudden insecurity gripped him, pausing his glut fest mid bite. No...something else was gripping him...Nate’s eyes traveled down to the half eaten tart in his hand that seemed to now be grabbing his hand back. “U-uh...O-Orion?”

“I think you’re one of the few then.” Orion laughed, thinking on how many people would find something like reading biographies incredibly boring. Even if they knew the subject was supernatural. Luckily, Rio had found quite a few friends that appreciated his lackluster hobbies. Even if they themselves didn’t find it super interesting, they never held that against Rio. In fact, it came in handy sometimes. “Real life is definitely a lot weird than anything a fictional book could sell me.” Rio agreed, unsure how much Nate actually knew about how weird real life actually was. But now wasn’t the time to fall too deeply into that. Right now, he wanted to focus exclusively on enjoying these ridiculously good sweets that Nate had brought out to try. “Of course. It’s hard not to like something you make.” Rio admitted, savoring another bite before he tried to answer Nate’s question. Admittedly, Rio didn’t know if the enhanced senses included taste. But he knew that he had always been pretty good at picking out individual flavors. Plus, he actually tasted the flavoring in la croix. Apparently that wasn’t normal. “Oh uh- yeah it’s nothing bad. I’m just sensitive to-” Rio’s bad excuse for an explanation was cut off when Nate said his name again. Rio met his confused look and glanced down at his hand, the tart that was on it seemed to be… moving. And sticking onto the man’s arm. On instinct, Rio flung his own tart onto the ground and slid away from it. “Um. What is that?! Nate drop the tart!”

Talk about stranger than fiction. Nate’s eyes went wide as dinner plates as he begun trying to flick the tart off his hand, his heart racing. “I can’t! I can’t get it off?!” All thoughts of how pleased he’d been to hear how much Rio had enjoyed his baking had dissipated, thrown out the window by tiny dough hands. “Get it off me!!” Nate flung his hand as hard as he could and the little tart thankfully flew off, landing with a dull smoosh on the counter. Apparently this act had betrayed their very existence as the half eaten tart was joined by the four untouched pastries. Gracelessly, they each sprouted a foot or a hand or an arm, limping around the counter with surprising speed. “What the heck- I’ve made a monster!!” Nate grabbed for a weapon, coming up with only a flour covered rolling pin. Better than nothing. He slammed it at the tiny monsters, wondering if Rio even saw these things too or if it was another of his hallucinations.

Orion was hopping back and forth from what foot to another, frantically waving his arms as he tried to figure out what the heck was going on. Nothing about monster bread had ever shown up in any of the Scribe books that he had read. Why hadn’t monster bread shown up? The passing thought that Rio would need to write his own entry only vaguely crossed his mind before he pushed it to the side to move beside Nate after he got the tart detached from his skin. The other tarts were starting to move now too, pieces of the bread morphing and extending into shapes resembling limbs. “What the-” Rio mumbled, trying to think of what could have possibly caused something like that. Nate grabbed a rolling pin and was smacking at the counter now while Rio stood back and stared at the man in a daze. “Be careful!” Rio finally yelled when he broke from the daydream. “How the heck is this happening right now?"

Judging by Rio’s reaction, Nate wasn’t the only one who could see the little creatures. At least that was a small relief, though the moment quickly faded as a tart-monster leapt off the counter, launching itself directly at Orion’s face. “Look out!!” Nate jumped back, slamming his rolling pin down on another tart, catching its little, deformed leg and flattening it. “I don’t know!! I- what are these things??” Panic swelled up inside him and Nate wondered if this is what people meant when they always said “oh yeah, anything can happen here in White Crest,” as if crazy nonsense like this occurred all the time. “I used- a new- yeast!” It was the only variable. When the delivery message said it was sentient, Nate didn’t take that literally. “Ah!” He yelped, jumping back from a one armed little tart that was eliciting what would arguably be an adorable sound as it attempted to tie Nate’s shoelaces together. “How do we make it stop??”

A piece of evil baked bread launched itself at Orion, but before he could move to swat it away a rolling pin swung down and smacked it midair. “Uh- Thanks” Rio stared at the splattered bakery item on the ground, still managing to slowly move as it slowly puffed itself up. “Great question. I wish I had a better answer.” He couldn’t help but think back to the watermelons that had tried to kill him and Skylar. Why was food so hell bent on murdering people in this town? Regardless, he made a mental note that he needed to try to look into an explanation after this. Not that now was the time to be scheduling study sessions. “New yeast. Right.” This was literally monster bread. Jesus Christ. “We uh-” He paused to consider their options. Hitting the things didn’t kill them. If they could piece themselves back together he wasn’t sure cutting them up would either. “Bake them? Like uh- for a long time?” Rio suggested, sliding forward and using his heel to stomp on a piece of bread trying to… trip Nate to death? Rio still wasn’t clear on their motives.

Nate had once been an athletic guy, never on the baseball team but he’d play in the yard with his brother all the time growing up. Never in a million years did he think any of those skills would come in handy regarding keeping him and his friend safe from literal murder bread. Every gremlin they smacked down or flattened seemed to immediately rise again and Nate cursed the gifted yeast. What a sick joke! “Burn them?” Nate’s face fell. Sure, it was probably their best option at stopping the things once and for all, but it hurt his baking heart to think of intentionally burning his newest recipe, especially when it had originally gotten such a glowing review from Rio. He wanted to cry, but was instantly derailed as he tripped over his shoelaces. “Ok - but let it be known I hate that I have to do this,” he whined, kicking his shoes off as quickly as possible. “Preheat that oven and turn it all the way up!” He pointed at the small convection oven behind the counter and began to try and pile all the little monsters up on a baking sheet.

“Noted!” Orion yelled, darting forward and vaulting over the bakery counter. He chalked it up to mostly dumb luck plus a decent amount of his own training that he had jumped and slid across the counter so easily instead of tripping and falling over it instead. Growing up, his body had always been quick to remind him that strength and agility didn’t fix clumsiness. Then again, adrenaline seemed to help his body work without relying too much on the anxiety frying his brain. He made his way to the oven, swatting away a piece of tart, an actual thing he actually had to do right now. This town was exhausting. Rio spun the dial of the oven, turning it as high as it could go. Another tart launching itself at Rio, grabbing onto his clothes and crawling up his shirt. “Ew, ew, ew” Rio repeated to himself as he slapped aimlessly around his body until he finally got hold of the baked good. He pulled it off and tossed it into the oven. It had only just begun heating, but Rio shut the door and made his way back to the counter. Couldn’t a two in the morning bakery run just be normal?

Trying to keep all the struggling tarts on one single surface was proving more difficult than Nate had imagined. Luckily Rio seemed to have gotten to the oven and though it wouldn’t be nearly hot enough just yet, they could at least start chucking some of these monsters in. “Here! Catch!” Nate flung the baking sheet up, attempting to toss the little beasts through the air and towards the oven, his eyes moving from his target only momentarily when he stomped down on a spare piece of dough that had fallen off. Abandoning the sheet, Nate started grabbing the few tarts that were left and started throwing them like it was the bottom of the ninth and his life depended on it. “Ok, last one then slam that door shut and pray this works!!”

As far as life dangers went, Orion didn’t think that creepy living bread made the list. Still, the idea of something he had just taken a bite out of was alive and moving was beyond unsettling. Rio heard Nate call out and he looked over in time to see a pan being flung in his direction. He darted forward, grabbing onto the pan and moving back over to crack the oven open enough for him to dump them inside. Before long, Nate had started chucking the bread in Rio’s direction. Rio grabbed what he could, dropping them in and bending down to scoop up any that he missed. Finally, Nate was done. A quick glance around told them that they had grabbed all of the remaining pieces that could be seen. Rio left the oven closed, resting against it to make sure that it stayed closed. The little monsters didn’t seem particularly strong, but he wasn’t ready to take any chances. He didn’t look at the window into the oven. He didn’t want to see them against the glass, trying to get out. Bread or not, he had no interest in watching something that moved get burnt to a crisp. “So uh… this was pretty weird, right?”

Nate deflated against the counter, wiping off a few crumbs from his face. “Weird is an understatement, I think…” He dropped his head onto the wood, his cheek squishing against the cool surface. “I don’t- I’ve never...have you??” He couldn’t even begin to describe what he’d seen. It didn’t make any rational sense. As the adrenaline poured out of his body, no longer needed to keep him in defense mode, Nate felt himself sink to the floor like a puddle. To say this was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to him might be a lie, but this wasn’t like when he looked at some people around town and they looked like horrific monsters. That was a hallucination, something wrong with his actual brain. These...Rio had seen these too. Nate looked up at his friend. “What would do something like that?? How is that r-real?”

Orion refused to take any pressure off of the oven door. He didn’t think the now crisping pieces of living bread had the strength to open the door, but they were also all stuffed in there together. He had seen enough gross horror movies to know that weird things like that could combine together and grow in size or something else equally awful. His plan was to keep this door closed until the things in there looked like charcoal. Only problem was that he didn’t actually want to look to see what they looked like. “No. Definitely never seen anything like that. That was a first.” He really thought that he had reached some sort of imaginary wall in terms of being surprised by supernatural creatures. Good to know the bar could always be set higher. “So judging by your reaction I’m going to guess that your bread does not do that on the regular?” Surprisingly, Rio found himself almost amused by the situation. For someone who was constantly freaking out about everything, Rio was a bit confused by his own reaction. Though he supposed in the grand scheme of things, the bread wasn’t nearly as deadly as most of the other things that Rio got attacked by. “That honestly makes me feel so much better about how often I eat here. I was about to be a bit worried.”

Nate almost laughed, running his hands through his hard. “No...no randomly coming to life is usually not on my menu.” He scooted up to his knees, peering over the counter at the oven. From here, it didn’t look like there was any movement within, but Nate was glad that Orion seemed to have the same thought about not leaving the oven door unattended. He cracked an exhausted, waning adrenaline smile. “Why, you think I should add it? I think they’ll be a crowd pleaser!” It was impossible not to make light of what had just happened. It was just...entirely ludicrous. Nate half expected himself to be dreaming. “I don’t normally make a habit out of using random ingredients...but…” Nate shoved himself to his feet and started rustling through a drawer, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper and handing it to Rio.

“CONGRATULATIONS. We heard you like to BAKE. A friend has subscribed you to WEEKLY DELIVERIES of SENTIENT BREAD. Please ENJOY this PAINED SOURDOUGH BREAD STARTER. We look forward to sending you more SENTIENT BREAD. We CONGRATULATE you.”

“I got this about a month ago and...well this is the yeast I used to make those tarts...this is just a joke, right?”

Orion laughed sarcastically, emitting a sigh as he still struggled to capture his breath. This hadn’t been particularly exhausting physically, but the whole ordeal had drained him. It didn’t help that it was the middle of the night. “Yeah I uh- think it’ll get a real rise out of customers.” Rio cringed at his own joke and made a mental note that puns probably weren’t for him. He grabbed onto the piece of paper that Nate offered and read it over multiple times. What the heck was this? And who would send it? And why were there so many capital letters? “So someone sent this to you? I guess… as a joke?” Rio didn’t find it particularly funny personally, but to each their own. Admittedly, the bread hadn’t exactly been dangerous. At least, not that they had seen. Maybe this was all some sort of weird prank? Fae could be particularly mischievous, maybe this was all some elaborate ruse? “I mean, if it is a joke I don’t really get their sense of humor.” Rio laughed nervously and scratched at the back of his head, “But I guess it could be? Maybe you shouldn’t use anymore of it though?” Rio tossed the note onto the countertop and sighed again. What a night.

Nate couldn’t help but snort at the pun. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe he was just losing his mind, but making jokes right now felt like the right thing to do. He slumped against the counter, his head resting on his hands. “I don’t think it was so funny either...but also I didn’t think sentient bread was a real flipping thing.” His brows furrowed as he glanced behind Rio to see how crispy the critters were getting. “I’m definitely not gonna use any more of it.” He looked up at Rio sadly. “Please promise me you’ll keep eating my desserts...I promise they’re not all animated and trying to kill you.”

By some miracle, the box that Nate had packed for Orion had survived the chaos and was left mostly untouched by the creepy bread. He could see it on the counter Looking through the box, Rio laughs slightly and closes it again, leaving it on the counter. After what felt like an acceptable amount of time, he finally took a step away from the oven, slowly pulling his arm away and ready to press up against it at any moment. But he didn’t have to. There was no resistance against the oven door. Whatever those things had been, Rio didn’t think they were going to be moving anymore. “Don’t worry. It’s going to take a lot more than some living bread for me to give this place up. Your food is too good.” He grinned, but there was a sigh behind it. The late hour was finally catching up to him, the adrenaline finally wearing off. “But if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go ahead and pay for my stuff and head out. It’s pretty late. And I wasn’t expecting… that.”

Nate ran a hand down his face and looked at the oven apprehensively. Rio stepped away and nothing came crashing out, thankfully, but the baker wasn’t ready to turn off the heat just yet. “Oh good,” he breathed with a sigh of relief. “Of course! Of course, actually y’know this one’s on the house. I uh...consider it a promotion for trying my last new delicacy ever.” Nate slid the box closer to Rio and grabbed a broom, setting about clearing up what he could before he left for the night. There was no way he was doing his full closing checklist, not after the attempted murder via baked goods, but he could at least get some crumbs up while he waited for those things to get even a little more crispier. “Seriously,” he led his friend out, flipping his open sign to closed. “Thanks for being here...I can’t imagine dealing with those things by myself. And I swear to never use mysterious baking supplies ever again.” Now he just had to figure out where he put the rest of that tearful pumpkin...

#orion1 #friend or dough #wickedswriting

6 notes · View notes