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tickleraptorss · 3 years

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Asking For It

Prompto and Noctis have always been great friends, and as it turns out, they seem to have similar tastes... at least when it comes to tickling.

a/n: hi i had this rly soft idea in my head and i- (worms fall out of my pocket) oh god oh shit fuck im so sorry goddammit fuck

It’d been a rather innocent question. A question that Noctis found intriguing, adorable and relatable all at the same time. A question he’d never dared to ask himself, in fact. Even during the times where he was feeling extremely touch-starved, or just wanted some affection in his own... Noctis way.

He would’ve never guessed Prompto was the same.

Both Gladio and Ignis knew about Noctis’ and Prompto’s weakness, and even shared similarities. Tickling wasn’t uncommon between the four of them, although most of the time Noctis or Prompto would end up being the victims. Compared to Gladio’s strength and Ignis’ wit, the two of them were nothing but a ticklish mess of nerves. Not to say that they never got back at them, because of course they did, but more often than not these revenges would end up as failed attempts.

But as time went on, and so did the frequent tickling, Prompto and Noctis found themselves starting to feel differently about the whole ordeal. While at the beginning of their trip they’d constantly try to thrash their way out of, say, Gladio’s bear hug (which was impossible), now they’d hardly try. Noctis had just thought he was getting used to being tickled nearly daily, or that his body was naturally reserving his strength for fighting. And then... a spontaneous 3AM realization hit him.

He liked being tickled.

Not in a sexual way, of course, it was more of an... intimate interest... as he would put it. Something he would only trust his romantic partners with. And since he was dating Ignis, Gladio and Prompto, there was no worry there. But they’d always tickle him until he was wheezing with silent laughter, which made Noctis’ mind wander.

Before he knew it, he’d started craving it. He would purposely stretch his arms over his head, leaving himself wide open for attack. He would attack the others in hopes that they would get him back (which usually worked). But after a while, he started to crave something more. Or... something less, depending on who you asked.

He started to find himself staring at loose Chocobo feathers for a little too long, and luckily the others just thought he was staring into space. He noticed he would stare at his companions’ hands quite often, and before he knew it he could feel the ghosts of fingers scribbling at his tummy, which would make him visibly shiver. It was only a matter of time until he realized exactly what he wanted.

He was way too embarrassed to ask any of his boyfriends, though. He knew there wouldn’t be any judgement, and that they’d happily do it... but still... there was something stopping him from asking. And so... he tried to ignore it.

He thought about it a lot, though.

He just loved to imagine fingers sliding across his tummy, wiggling so gently and teasingly. A voice teasing him about how ticklish and adorable he is. Gentle kisses to his neck as hands roamed around-

“Hey, Noct!” Prompto peaked his head in through the tent, causing the prince to startle. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Got a minute?”

Noct blinked. He’d almost completely forgotten where he was. Ignis and Gladio had gone out to get some ingredients for dinner, and so Prompto and Noctis were left to their own devices.

Without giving the prince time to reply, Prompto entered the tent and cuddled up to his boyfriend’s side, a content sigh escaping him.

“Someone’s affectionate today,” Noctis chuckled.

“I’m affectionate every day, dude. Gotta meet my cuddle quota!” Prompto exclaimed, tackling Noctis to the floor and nuzzling against his neck.

“Hehehey!” Noctis giggled. “Th-that...”

“Tickles?” Prompto finished the sentence, raising his head up from the prince’s shoulder to look at his boyfriend. “Actually... I didn’t come here just for cuddles... there was something else I wanted to ask...”

Noctis tilted his head, waiting for Prompto to ask his question, but in response Prompto’s face flushed a bright red and he averted his gaze.

“I-I... um...” He stuttered, before hiding his face behind his hands in embarrassment. “This is so embarrassing!”

“Prom... whatever it is, I promise I won’t judge you,” Noctis reassured.

“I know it’s just... it’s silly...” With that, Prompto took a deep breath, and...

“Canyouticklemeplease-”

“Huh?” The words came out jumbled and quiet, but Noctis definitely heard the cursed word in there somewhere. “C-Can you repeat that?” Prompto whined, and then took another deep breath.

“C-Can you... uh... t-t-tickle me... please?”

So that is what he said after all!

“You want me to tickle you?” Noctis asked, and Prompto nodded sheepishly.

“Y-You don’t think it’s... weird... do you?”

“No! Of course not! It’s just that...” Noctis awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, shooting Prompto a shy smile. “I thought I was the only one.” His face flushed a bright pink as he said that.

Prompto blinked, then smirked, quickly shifting their positions so that Noctis was pinned on his back.

“You too, huh?” He scritched underneath Noctis’ chin, earning a surprised squeak from him. “I wouldn’t mind taking care of that for you,” he whispered.

“B-But what about you? You asked first!”

“I can wait, you look too cute right now!” Prompto wiggled his fingers in the air, and Noctis squeaked and turned his head away from the wiggling digits, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to look at them.

“Wait!” Noctis grabbed Prompto’s wrists for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath. “I-I don’t just... want to be t-tickled... well I do, it’s just, in a specific way...” Carefully, he guided Prompto’s hands to his stomach. “Just... be gentle...”

Prompto smiled sweetly, and kissed Noctis’ forehead before his hands slipped underneath the prince’s shirt.

“You’re adorable!” He exclaimed, giving a slight giggle of his own. “Anything for you, Your Ticklishness~” There was that teasy, sing-song tone that Noctis had been hoping for. He knew Prompto was big on teasing while tickling, but he had no doubt that he’d be more ruthless with it now that Noctis had asked.

Fingers began to move, and the prince’s body jerked in response to the slight movement of fingers. As they continued, Noctis tried to contain his giggles, keeping a hand over his mouth to hide his growing smile.

“Don’t be like that, Noct! I wanna see you smile!” Prompto’s fingers sped up ever so slightly, lightly scratching at the sides of Noctis’ tummy. Giggles began to pour out of the ticklish prince, and Prompto moved Noctis’ hands over his head, chuckling when he didn’t put them down again. “Keep your arms up the best you can for me, ‘kay?”

Noctis obliged, keeping his hands above his head just like Prompto asked. Noctis looked at Prompto, who was smirking at him with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Slowly, his hands descended onto the prince’s sensitive ribs, scritching gently at the lower area of the spot. Noctis squeaked in response, his face flushing a bright red when Prompto traced the lowermost ribs.

“Ehehe- Prompto!” Noctis aimlessly called out, twitching in response to the light tickling.

“This seems like a preeeetty good spot!” Prompto announced. “Think I’ll stick around here for a bit~” The blonde’s fingers kept tracing along the ticklish skin, watching as Noctis quivered underneath his fingertips. The prince’s giggles became squeakier, and he was wiggling involuntarily, but his hands stayed above his head.

That was until the gunman’s hands moved to his sides.

Noctis yelped, his arms immediately coming down to defend the ticklish area.

“Noct!” Prompto laughed. “You’re supposed to keep your arms up!” He teased, poking Noctis’ sides repeatedly. The prince’s laughter increased in volume as he desperately tried to lift his arms up, but instincts told him to keep them at his sides.

“I cahahan’t!!” Noctis squeaked when Prompto moved his arms above his head again.

“Too ticklish?” Prompto teased, before giving Noctis a quick peck to his cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll be nice and gentle!~” With that, his fingers were on the move once more. Wiggling slightly, the evil digits traced up and down Noctis’ sides, gliding from the sides of his ribs to just above his hips. The ticklish prince had buried his head in his shoulder to attempt to hide the blush and smile on his face, but there was no denying that he was extremely flustered right now.

While he did try to control his laughter somewhat, giggles still flowed out of him quite freely. Those giggles turned into laughter when Prompto located a particularly ticklish bundle of nerves just above Noctis’ hipbones, and began gently circling his fingers over the spot, making Noctis arch his back slightly. And of course, there was that cute, squeaky laugh that came out whenever a sweet spot was being tickled.

“Aww, does that tickle?” Prompto taunted, chuckling when Noctis shook his head. “No? Well I guess you wouldn’t mind if I moved on to your tummy then!”

Prompto’s fingers glided over to Noctis’ stomach, which made the prince’s entire body shudder. Oooh, this was gonna be a fun spot...

“Promptohoho!” Noctis’ giggles were now a full stream of squeaky laughter.

“Yes?”

“It- ahah! It tickles!”

“Well, yes, that’s the point,” the gunman chuckled. His fingers continued to work their magic around Noctis’ tummy. They skittered around the sides, circled around his bellybutton, even traced along his waistline, which earned the cutest squeals.

“Who’s my ticklish little prince, huh?~” Prompto sang, his fingers idly tracing random shapes over Noctis’ stomach. “You loooove this, don’t you? Sure sounds like you do~”

“Shuhuhut up!!” Noctis could barely handle the teasing, in fact, it made him feel even more ticklish than before.

“Well, that’s not very nice,” Prompto stopped the tickling, but still rested his hands on Noctis’ tummy. “I think you should apologize, after all...” he leaned closer to Noctis to whisper to him.

“You did ask for this~”

Noctis groaned, flustered out of his mind. His face felt impossibly hot, and the tips of his ears were red at this point. He hid his face in his hands, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he was enjoying every moment of this.

“Don’t hide!” Prompto’s hands were back on his tummy. “Kitchy kitchy kooooo~”

Noctis wasn’t sure exactly how long Prompto tickled his belly for, as he knew it was Prompto’s favourite spot (that and his feet). But it wasn’t much longer until Noctis tapped out, panting and letting out tiny residual giggles, which made Prompto coo at him. The gunman rolled off of Noctis and lay next to the panting prince.

“Sooo, how’d I do?” He asked.

“P-Pretty good,” Noctis answered.

“I mean, it’s not exactly hard to tickle you,” Prompto smiled. “You’re a walking tickle spot, dude.”

“It’s not like you’re much better!” Noctis sat up, looking down at Prompto, before grinning. “Besides, I think it’s someone else’s turned to be tickled~”

Noctis pounced on the blonde, proceeding to tickle him to pieces, before they got themselves into quite the tickle fight.

When Ignis and Gladio returned, the found Noctis and Prompto cuddled up together, napping away in their tent.

#tickle fic #tickling #boys' night out #raptor writes #guess what! i still don't know how to end fics #anyways idk if i like this one #but it's soft so i'll post it anyway

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ushijimas-koibito · 4 years

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request no. 1

request: clingy ushiwaka. the partner has the same haircut as him and is trying to get their work done.

author’s note: thank you so much @im-cold-so-gimme-your-hoodie! i appreciate your request and will give it my best. i hope you enjoy and i look forward to hearing your feedback.

title: toshi comes home.

warnings: suggestive behavior, kissing, nudity, cheese, fluff

listening: crush on you by elijah who; it’s finally raining again by elijah who; sincerely, yours by nohidea; my new love by elijah who; frozen by sabrina claudio; wanna know by sabrina claudio; this town by ama lou; could’ve been by H.E.R and bryson tyler; i fall in love too easily by caleb belkin; wild by dijon; goodbye, good luck by sad face; laundry day by joey pecorano; monday loop by tomppabeats; give me something by joey pecorano

5:30; his flight should land soon and he would be back in your arms. ushijima wakatoshi, your partner, was returning home today after a very long national press tour. the two of you had video chatted every night, but it wasn’t the same as having him here with you. you felt a little guilty as you wait there in the airport lobby answering emails. you thought you timed everything right. you were sure you would finish everything for work by tuesday; and you would… but today is monday. how you got the dates confused, you will never know as you are an extremely punctual, efficient, and timely person. you had to be as a project manager for a major up-and-coming tech company. you and ushijima were something of a power couple. two of the youngest but most powerful people in your respective fields. you were each a force to be reckoned with.

you looked around the airport a moment, although mostly empty, you still managed to turn heads. you turned towards the windows looking out over the parking deck and caught a glimpse of yourself in the reflection. you adjusted the collar of your shirt and curled a face framing hair around your finger to smooth out the little bit of frizz. you hoped he liked it on you. you usually kept your hair quite long, at least to your shoulders, but the notion of having to style it and losing minutes to your hair was something you couldn’t take anymore. it looked very similar to ushijima’s hair, save for your hair being a different color and texture. the slight wave of your hair annoyed you but it was one of ushijima’s favorite things. the more you thought about it the more you realized almost everything that annoyed you about yourself was something he loved. he was always picking up on your quirks and insecurities and he found a way to romanticize them. he was just that way, seeing beauty in strange things, glamor in the mundane, and depth in simplicity. you checked your watch and turned to the gate. he was landing shortly.

you noticed a few paparazzi scuttle in and you tighten your jaw. couldn’t they leave him alone for just one day? you thought to yourself as you pulled the front hem of your blazer. you push your glasses up the bridge of your nose and straighten your posture and walk closer to the gate. ushijima would be in a much better mood if you were the first to intercept him instead of the paparazzi. as you walk toward the gate you hear the sound of a shutter click and a flash go off. you whip your head towards the young cameraman who has been stopped by an older journalist, “what are you doing? that’s not him.” the cameraman looks at you a moment longer before turning away under the pressure of your icy gaze. you check your reflection in your phone, my hair isn’t exactly like his, you ponder, is it?

at that moment you get a text from ushijima, be there soon. waiting for bags. can’t wait to see you. missed you, my dear. you smile and open your emails to squeeze in some more work. you always miss wakatoshi when he leaves and you hate that your first day back together will be spent with you working. if you don’t finish the work tonight, it will cut into your time together with the few days you have before he leaves again. the sooner you both get home, the sooner you could finish your work, the sooner you could be together with no distractions. he was sure to be frustrated but understanding.

the doors opened and there he was walking toward you. his usually serious expression faded away and a smile crept its way across his face. he walked directly up to you and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “hello, my dove,” he rested his forehead against yours for a moment before taking a step back, “your hair,” he said quietly. “do you like it?” you squeezed his hand a little. “of course I do.” he pushed a tendril out of your eyes and pushed up your glasses with his knuckle, not releasing your hand to do so. you took his bag in your other hand, “the car is waiting for us outside.” you walked hand in hand without a glance to the paparazzi. you handed the bags to the driver and opened the back door for ushijima. he tilted his head back against the head rest and you slid in. he reached his arm across the seats and patted his hand against his chest to gesture you to give him a cuddle. you slid across the seats and he leaned his cheek against the top of your head as you draped your arm across his torso. he let out a long breath, “it’s good to be home.” you nuzzled his cheek and pulled him closer. you enjoy this simple moment; the rise and fall of his broad chest, the warmth of his body radiating through his thin cashmere sweater, the quiet inhale and exhale of breath against your skin, “you must be tired, darling.” he shook his head, “not really. i slept a bit on the plane. i made sure to get sleep so i could spend as much time as possible with you.” you can feel him smile against your head, “about that,” you say hesitantly as you pull away to look at him, “uh oh,” he whispers with a smirk, “i’m sorry,” you begin, “I just have a few things to finish up and then i’m all yours for the next five days,” he smiles and ruffles your hair, “you’re always mine.. but I understand.” he pulls you into his strong arms and holds you tight all the way to your apartment.

just as you arrive, your phone buzzes with a call from your business partner, “hello shimizu, i just picked up ushijima from the airport and i’m about to head upstairs.” ushijima waves his hand before picking up his bag, “he says ‘hello’,” you laugh softly while you fumble with your keys and head toward the entrance. you walk in and get on the elevator as she preps you for the video meeting. you look at ushijima and whisper, “kiyoko says hello back, she’s prepping me for the meeting.” he nods, “we’ll have to have her and ryu over for dinner this week.” you nod back. you both enter the elevator and he puts his arm around you as you listen carefully to the instructions; another pang of guilt washes over you as you catch him studying your face. he always looks at you like you’re going to disappear, as if you’re going to be a figment of his imagination, or like he’s afraid that one day he might forget. “alright, shimizu, i’m almost inside. i’ll be settled soon and we can jump on to finish prepping before the meeting.” you hang up and slip your phone in your blazer pocket. you have a few floors to enjoy the quiet with wakatoshi. he leans his head against yours and kisses your cheek. he lingers a moment and then tenderly kisses just behind your ear, “your haircut makes it easier for me to kiss your neck,” he whispers, “i like it.” you blush slightly and jump when the floor bell rings. he laughs picking up his bags and walking onto your floor, “come on,” he says with a smile, “wouldn’t want you to be late for your meeting.” you hesitate letting the guilt wash over you once more before walking up the hall and unlocking the door to your pristine corner apartment.

the apartment was very calming and soothing to be in. deep, cool colors and lots of open space with many beautiful plants. “i swear, (y/n), the orchids thrive when you take care of them.” ushijima delicately cradled the white and purple bloom in his fingers and craned down to take in it’s fragrance. the apartment always feels more like a home when he’s here. despite having floor to ceiling walls of windows, the place never fills with light until he comes home. you walk into the kitchen and turn on the kettle, “tea?” you asked, ushijima runs his hands through his hair and comes behind the counter, “i’ll make it, you go on ahead. don’t keep kiyoko waiting.” he bumps you out of the way with his hip and takes the tea bags out of your hands. you kiss his shoulder before heading towards your desk and taking off your blazer.

you sit at your desk and prepare yourself for the meeting. shimizu is already logged on and waiting. you open your documents and sign on to the video chat, “sorry to keep you waiting, shimizu.” over the next few minutes, you put the final touches on your project proposal. ushijima comes up with two teas for you both. he comes behind the desk and hunches down to be in frame of the camera, “hello kiyoko,” he says while setting down your tea. “i’m not sure if (y/n) has offered yet, but we would love to have you and ryu over for dinner this week.” she smiles and agrees that she will have to speak to ryu and hopefully you lot can work something out. “i certainly hope so,” he says before turning to you, “let me know if it needs more sugar,” he waves to the camera and then sits in the chair in front of your desk. you feel his feet touch yours as he stretches out reading an article from his press tour in a magazine. “ushijima, please don’t feel obligated to stay in the apartment, i’d hate for you to just be bored all-,” he cuts you off, “all I want to do is spend the day with you. i can handle sitting here for awhile.” you shake your head and log into your meeting. the meeting goes on for a couple hours. during your meeting ushijima refilled your tea, played footsie with you under the desk, and drew little plants and hearts on your sticky pad. he was very sweet and you felt bad that you couldn’t give him the attention he deserved.

after another hour of meetings and presentations passes, ushijima wonders into the kitchen and makes you both lunch. every so often, he looks up from his work and looks at you. he loves seeing you at work. he can only hope that you receive the same thrill he gets when he sees you at one of his matches. although, to be honest, he makes you nervous. you are so aware of his intense gaze and his deep eyes following your every move, that you become more aware of what you’re doing and that makes you uneasy. you’ve never been the best at handling the pressure of being observed and watched. the first half of your meeting wraps up and you all sign off to take a break for lunch.

ushijima has set up your lunches and waves you over. it’s a simple and nutritious lunch with vegetables, rice, and fish. he was a very good cook. everything he makes is simple but delicious. it’s an easy meal to finish quickly. you take the dishes to the kitchen and hear ushijima walk up behind you. he wraps his arms around you and plants airy kisses from your ear, down your neck, and to your shoulder. he slides his hands down your sides and grabs your hips, “please tell me you’re almost done with work,” he pleads in your ear and grazes his teeth across your skin. “ju-just a little while longer, toshi," you gulp as you hear his breath shudder and he pushes against you causing you to lean against the counter. he runs his hand from your hip, down your thigh and drags his fingers up your leg digging his fingers in, “promise?” he asks. “i-i promise.” you say feeling your heart slam against your chest. you wriggle away, “but i can’t think when you do stuff like that.” he laughs softly, “like what?” he asks coyly. you wave your hand towards where you just were in the kitchen, “like that, don’t be coy.” he saunters toward you, “i don’t know what you mean.” you back up until your back hits the wall, “yes you do. we’ll have plenty of time for that sort of thing after i’m done working,” he stands in front of you and his eyes seem to undress you, “but I missed you, dove,” you turn to walk away but he places his hand against the wall blocking your path and his face is inches from yours. he places his other hand on the opposite side of you, “and i’m taking my opportunity now to show you how much,” he nudges your nose with his and rocks his hips into yours. although you are flustered, you know what you must do. you stand up straight and look into his eyes, “ushijima,” you say flatly, “i have work to do and there is no amount of kabedon tomfoolery that can distract me.” he drops his arms and takes a step back and for a moment you think you’ve finally intimidated the great ushiwaka, until he erupts into laughter. “well, well, well, have I lost my touch then?” you roll your eyes and turn to walk away but he grabs your arm and spins you into an embrace. his eyes are very intense and serious, “do i really have no effect on you?” your breath hitches in your throat, “don’t be dramatic,” you say through a slight pout, “i just need to finish my work and then we can do this all day!” you push against his chest and stumble toward your desk. he chuckles and plops down in the chair in front of your desk, “fine,” he says, “i can behave.” you start to log back on, “for now.” he smirks and flicks open the magazine.

when ushijima gets clingy, it excites him when he can’t immediately get attention. it becomes a competition and he wants nothing more than to win. all throughout the remainder of your video meeting he was watching, sighing, stretching, and pushing his hands through his hair in the way he knows you like. you could hardly pay attention. this wasn’t the hard part. you knew he wouldn’t try too hard as long as you were on video chat, but the moment you got off and did your independent work, you knew it would be a real challenge.

you signed off for the day and began finishing up your work before you had to reply to emails. ushijima stood up and came around the back of the desk. “i don’t know how you’re able to sit all day. i’d be far too restless,” he pushed down on your shoulders and began to massage them. he spends a little extra time on the nape of your neck, now easily accessible thanks to your new haircut. you roll your shoulders back and hear a small pop, “you’ve been working so hard, maybe you can take a little break?” you sigh as he leans down and kisses the top of your head. “i’m almost done, toshi.” he sighs and squeezes your shoulders, “let me finish this and then i don’t have to do this again until sunday.” he groans in frustration and slips his hand underneath your shirt to trace circles on your chest, “how much longer?” he asks like a child waiting to open presents on their birthday. you look at the clock, “about an hour.” he huffs and sighs again, raking his fingers across your chest, “alright.” he pulls away reluctantly and stands in front of your desk. you continue to work on your computer and watch him out of the corner of your eye. at first he plops into the chair, stands up, paces back and forth, and then repeats the cycle. after about half an hour of this, he stands and looks at the clock, “you have much left?” you nod, not looking from your work, “at least another half hour.” he mumbles under his breath and paces a few more times. “i suppose i’ll have a quick shower,” he says forlornly, “alright, dear,” you say concentrating on your last few emails. suddenly, your vision goes dark and cashmere rubs across your face, ushijima has taken off his sweater and thrown it at your head. you slowly pull it off and look at him as he folds his trousers over his arm. he smiles wryly and saunters over to you, “how clumsy of me, slipped right through my fingers.” he stands very close to you and gathers the sweater up. you look up at him, “this will only take longer if you keep tempting me.” he laughs softly and curls a finger under your chin, “at least you are tempted,” he says with a sigh and walks off to the bathroom. hopefully you can finish up. he is so distracting. how you managed this long without giving in is astonishing.

the half hour of no distractions passes like a flash. you turn off your computer, take off your glasses, and rub the bridge of your nose. he has been awfully quiet since you heard the shower turn off. you get up from your desk and start to unbutton your shirt. you round the corner and look into your bedroom to find ushijima sleeping on the bed, hair wet, still wrapped in his towel. you smile, i knew he was more tired than he let on. you finish getting undressed and hear him snore a little. before heading to the shower you grab the blanket and go to cover him up. as you go to adjust his pillow, his eyes open with a glint and he traps you in his arms, rolling and pulling you on the bed. he peppers your face and neck with kisses as you both laugh together, rolling back and forth across the bed. “did you think i would really lose sight of my goal?” he smirks. “of course not, you’re ushijima wakatoshi,” you say seriously. you both erupt into hearty laughter before settling into each others arms. “so,” he begins, pulling you closer, “all mine now, (y/n)?” you smile and plant a sweet kiss on his lips, “i am always yours, wakatoshi.”

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wangxiangiftexchange · 3 years

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Lunar New Year Gift for alightbuthappypen!

For @alightbuthappypen, I wish you a happy lunar new year, last year was a tough one for everyone around the world. We had to carry too many burdens besides the ones already on our shoulders, so I hope this cheers you up a litte. And if you are totally fine, then just enjoy it. I hope you like it, Im a bit shy to aproach and start conversation, but I tried to stick to the letter in your resquest.

*****

let me adjust my grip, don’t slip

When Lan Sizhui fell unexpectedly ill, it took less than a day for the Yilling Patriarch to arrive at the doors of Cloud Recess.

Lan Wangji suspected it had something to do with their mutual undead acquittance, but when Uncle asked with a suspicious tone, implying things that made his soul tremble with anger. He just fisted his hands behind his back and said “They have a bond; he has a place besides his bedside...”

He wanted, he really wanted to run to the infirmary to be with them. But his duties couldn’t be dismissed easily, in fact, he had several weeks of pending work with the sects that he already asked to be delegated. Yet, he still needed to hand over a list of priorities and names of the people assigned to them, and it was taking him too long already.

He tried to let that the methodical task of sealing scrolls with wax and metal distracted him from his convoluted feelings with the unexpected situation.

The night before while having dinner, the Junior had collapsed to the surprise of all. They took him to the infirmary right away, and not caring about appearances he followed. He spends a long night seated by the little table in the private suit where Lan Sizhui was being attended and probed and examined.

He knew that he had not the correct training to know, do or solve whatever it was happening to him, it fell into the proper and experienced hands of the doctors and healers of the sect. Nevertheless, he jumped lightly whenever they turned the boy in the bed, whenever the men made observations and humming noises, it was the need to run at his side, put his hand over his forehead.

Still, it became obvious very early in night that this was beyond of what he could do to help. By morning they still didn’t know what it was happening, but at least the junior hadn't worsened, and very painedly he had to separate and do his responsibilities.

By the time it was meal time, he was informed of the arrival of Wei Ying. But as he couldn't meet with them, he wondered if they knew something by now. If Wei Ying had come storming by the doors frantically asking to see the boy, walking in circles on his room, hand on his chin asking questions and answering himself while he unraveled the malady with the genius he only could possess.

Something about the idea made his chest ache with longlines.

It's been almost three months since his last visit. He knows, he counts the days with ease born out of experience.

One day since he last saw Wei Ying.

Two days since he lasts seen Wei Ying....

Three.....

One week....

One month....

One Year...

sixteen years...

Counting days was not healthy he knew. But he never could help himself. Some part of him is afraid that the count grows again. Days and days that ache with guilt, with lose...with love...

Three months it's not a very long time if compared with the long wait. But some days, the heavy loaded ones, the stressful ones, it does. It does hurt like it. He wished he could end those days walking to his private room and seem him, see his beautiful welcoming smile. To know he is there and would never go again.

Still, it's not something that can be solved. What right does he have to ask Wei Ying to stay here? Hes as free as he wants, as free as he always wanted.

He understands, he did travel the land too, he was not free exactly, he was running away, hiding his morose mourning and his inability to let go of the past from his family and peers. But he knows there is solace in the open skies of empty roads and peaceful farmed fields, fulfilling the promise they made, he failed him in many ways, but at least he gave himself to the task of fighting evil.

Mourning...Wei Yings needs it as much as he did.

He thought he could follow him, it was his plan as soon as he found him again at Dafan mountain, as he was sweep up his feet by his bright personality, his laughter, his brilliant mind once again. Being with him at all times. But....

But what right does he have to be free of responsibility?

After all, Lan Huan was tasked with their sect since he was born. But that didn’t mean he had to carry the load by himself. And yet, while he was roaming around, raising a kid. His brother never asked him do to his responsibilities if he was not up to them. His brother was sympathetic and caring, and worked and worked without help for years.

Now Lan Huan was suffering his own grief, his own mourning and his own count. But he knew that his was meant to last forever.

Staying here, being the acting sect leader, and being the chief cultivator really was the only retribution to his filial brother. He might harbor a great dislike to all of the sects and clans across the land for the wrongdoings committed to Wei Ying, to them both.

But he couldn’t just walk away while his brother was heartbroken and alone. Or can I?.... his mind thinks but he erases the thought and the doubts as fast as he can.

He can't ask Wei Ying to stay, and he can't follow him either. So, it was just another wait, probably not as endless as the first had felt, but something in him just wants it so desperately to end.

However, there still was something to confess, something kept deep on his chest for as long as he can remember. It probably is because during those years, this feeling just grew and grew until he could no longer remember a time when he didn’t feel like this.

It was like roots had taken over until they filled his chest and touched his soul. Tangling deep into his whole being.

He carried Wei Ying in his heart as one carries a lamp in the darkness. Sometimes warm, and sometimes ardently, but always the light he followed like a moth since he was young.

Where he to confess those feelings to him, would he feel compelled to return them even if Wei Ying does not feel the same? would he stay here with him the way he wants him?

Hes the type of person that sacricifies what he feels and what he wants for the people he cares about. No matter how undeserving of such sacrifice those people could be. Or more exactly how underserving Jiang Waying is. But he does not care to follow that line of thinking because it is against the rules to think so poorly of another sect Leader.

He should feel ashamed to think himself so important in Wei Ying’s life, but it wouldn’t be enough for him to feel obligated to accept something as deviant as being an open cut sleeve just because he cares about Wangji, and it wouldn’t be right. He wants him to sincerely return his feelings, but who would accept such disgrace.

If he feels he owns him something for helping him solve Meng Yaos plot, he’ll never ask for anything. Wei Ying should stop feeling guilty, especially about this because firstly, it was the right thing to do, and second because everything he did was because he wanted.

He wanted to absolve Wei Ying’s reputations, because he wanted him to stop feeling guilty for things that happened so many years ago and weren't even his fault to begin with.

Even before knowing the whole truth, he suspected for years that something or someone had played a hidden evil hand. He spends years questioning his own memories, questioning what everyone accepted as facts and truths, because his heart told him, it always told him that Wei Ying was not the evil person they invented in their twisted minds.

It was then that he noticed that this was the last scroll he needed to prepare to send, so he put out the heating lamp and put aside his official seal, he didn’t stop to clean it as it was his routine and just put it on his sleeve pocket on his haste to reunite with his family.

He didn’t run, but he speed walked on the empty corridors until he arrived. Once he opened the door, he was greeted with a sight that made his heart ache.

Many years ago, when Sizhui was still a child, a fragile little thing that clung to his robes. He would catch colds in the winter. He was from warmer lands, and even if he never was raised on them, something in him always made him unprepared for long chilly winters. It was true even after he stopped being underfeed and was getting round rosy cheeks.

He would lay in bed, while Wangji spend the night rubbing his back with medicinal herbs and would sing him lullabies. It would be just the two of them by the candle lights, with warm coils burning on the stove. It would get warmer and warmer, but he still felt a cold inside his chest and ribcage, creeping up and down his scarred back, an empty heartbeat, the pang of lost.

Something would whisper on his ear Wei Ying’s name, and how needed he was. How he missed him. He wanted to say to him. What I am doing? Why I am doing this without you? What I am doing with your child?

He would imagine a life where Wei Ying was with them, so close to the image that greet him now, that he felt like that dream was finally true.

Wei Ying was on the floor, lightly petting Sizhui hair and whispering sweet things.

He noticed him then, and the spell broke, and the mirage that mixed reality and hopes fell apart. Wei Ying smiled tiredly and raised from his place to invite him to sit with him by the table.

“How is he doing?”

“It's not getting worse....”

“Do they know something now?”

“They do...” he sighed. “It's a curse. I already questioned Lan Jingyi about it. But he just told me he had no idea, he said nothing was amiss, nothing had gone wrong on their last night hunt. He noticed nothing weird.”

“He wouldn’t...” he sighed.

“Hes not very observant, I agree, that why I drilled him with questions, even force him to tell me an hourly account of their trip, and there was something”

He nodded expectingly.

“Some strange looking lady tried to sell them flowers by the road. When they didn’t, she became erratic and tried to.... offer them a different...kind of flower....”

He frowned.

Wei Ying laughed. “Yeah, she offered to sleep with them for a piece of silver. When they said no, she tried to hug them, Jingyi pushed her off of course, but Sizhui being as kind as he is, tried to help her go to the next town, but she pushed him, screamed and ran to the woods. They thought she was just a very poor crazy woman and brush it off....”

“Thats not unusual”

“It is not unusual although very sad, but it’s the only thing that came to my attention...everything else was as they said, just a normal night hunt.”

“What kind of curse”

“The slow one at least, it's obvious he was pinched with a needle on the neck, its going down...” he said looking at the table. “We have a lead now, it's better than nothing”

“umm” he agreed.

“We should depart at the earliest”

“Why not tonight?”

Wei Ying smiled sadly. “He was....he was asking for his dad....”

Wangji’s hands clenched and all the air in his lungs was pushed out and let him breathless

“You really are his father....” he said.

“He called me that when he was little until Uncle stopped him. I let him do it when were alone....”

“I was a little hurt Hanguan-Jun. You stole my child....” He sounded truly sad.

“He’s....he’s yours too”

“But he was asking for you...his father”

“Because.....you are his mother”

That made Wei Ying laughs and wipe the sadness out of his eyes.

“So shameless!” he keeps laughing. “waiting all these years to deliver such a punch line Hanguan Jun. Your sense of humor is twisted and no one would think it of his excellency”

He could feel his lips pushing to fight the smile carried by his laughter

“I suppose I dig my own grave with that one Lan Zhan” he keeps with a light teasing smile. “But I did say I was...And I want to spend the night here if you don’t mind”

“I don’t, Theres blankets on the trunk”

He stood up to retrieve them and put them on the floor by the bed. He put another set besides the one already on the floor.

“What?, is his excellency spending the night on the floor”

“umm” he nodded.

“But Lan Zhan, the floor is uncomfortable, you should go to your bed”

“I'm not” he simply said to avoid the argument.

Wei Yings shoulders dropped in defeat and only prepare himself to sleep by striping of his outer layer. He gave him privacy by turning his back and doing the same before laying side by side on the floor.

“He looks peaceful, they gave him tea to sooth him and ease the symptoms.”

He looked at the youth and Wei Ying smiled sadly.

“He still looks so young even if he is becoming a man in everyone's eyes. But early today he looked as when he was little and was so tired, he got crackly before his nap. I could tell he wanted to stick his fingers on his mouth”

He smiled gently. “It was hard to break him out of that habit”

“I can imagine. Were you harsh on him?”

Wangji frowned and said “no”

“Well, I was a little bit, I was not in the best place, and sometimes I was so tired, and so angry with the world. And he was just a child, he didn’t know better, he was lonely and wanted to play. I regret snaping at him”

“He missed you too”

“I Thought he didn’t remember much”

“He doesn't now. But the first days he would ask for you in his feverish state, Lan Huan sleep with him but he cried until he was allowed to stay with me”

“Such a little manipulator he was”

“It was because he didn’t recognize this place, or those people”

“Yeah, I bet he was sad”

“Um” he nodded. “Didn't ask only for you, he wanted all his family back”

“I'm really sorry he had to experience that, I could have done more, or the right thing...I keep thinking what could I have done different”

“Pointless, can't change the past”

“I know, but I can't forget, is a burden I must carry if nothing else. It was a mistake; I shall live with the regret”

“Stop blaming yourself, what does that accomplish?”

“Aiyooo” he said. “I know you are right, but I can't help myself, I can't just forget you know, and when you remember something, you always get to wonder what if....”

“Then find solace in the fact, that he survived, and he was cared for, looked after”

“I do that too. I'm so grateful you took him in, he couldn’t have ended in better hands, he was seriously lucky, you didn’t just give him a chance, you gave him a whole new better life, he wouldn't have ended such a fine gentleman with me and with his family even if they had survived”

“Would have offered him an education in Gusu Lan anyway”

Wei Ying smiled softly. “I'm sure you would have, the way you looked at him that day in Yilling. I know the look of a mother hen when I see one. You wanted to gift him the world, feed him until he got fat, and teach him manners, am glad you still got to do it in the end”

“And yet...I couldn't even save Wei Ying, the person he needed the most”

“Lan Zhaaaan, stop, stop!. Alright, we already said Theres no point in regret, I won't do it, if you don’t either. In fact, we already made a pact about it, no more regrets. That was then, but this is now. We have to solve this, I'm here now, I can't lose him, this is entirely different..., he’s...he’s ours”

“Ours...” he said in affirmation.

“It's almost nine, we should sleep, we have a long way tomorrow. We have to find this mysterious crazy hugger in the woods.”

“Um” he nodded and closed his eyes.

It took just a few moments for his routine and his command to take over his body, but while he waited. He relished in the fact, that the room was warm, that he could hear two sets of breathings in rhythm. The room was lived in. No more emptiness. No more cold.

+2+

Lan Wangji woke up before first call. Lately, he found himself awake before he was due. It might be the stress of the job; he did have too many responsibilities that took his days away and didn’t allow his mind to rest at night. Much less the pleasure of meditation.

It might also be an age thing. He heard from uncle that it happened to him too around this age. It was a strange notion that the mind, still felt the passage of time even if his cultivation didn’t allow his body to age in a normal rate.

He looked young; his strength still was that of a young man. And yet, time did come to pass. Sizhui was the more affected by it. There where once lay a baby, now was an adolescent. But when he looked at Wei Ying peaceful sleeping, he still saw the young man he was when he died...

At first it was shock to see him as if not a single day had passed. But it had, Wangji himself didn’t look more than twenty-nine. Even if he was already thirty-five. But Wei Ying looked so young still.

But he couldn't be considered naïve, he saw too much, suffered too much to be a child. He was just barely older than Sizhui, but he lived a whole life time over. As they sleep like this, they looked like two young brothers, so precious and innocent wrapped by their dreams.

He felt old, tired and alone inside way before he meet Wei Ying at seventeen. But as soon as he stormed into his life, Wei Ying provoked the child on his soul. How much he wanted to be free, playful. He wanted to chase him, to joke and laugh. Run as fast as he wanted, rules be dammed.

He didn’t get to do that at the end of those days. But he did run behind his memories, after his retreating back on his own dreams, chasing him and never being able to hear him or touch him. Oh how much he missed him. How much he wished he had the courage to do all he wanted before it was too late.

And now that he was back, he still couldn’t be with him, because he couldn't chase him anymore. How unfair it was. To have waited so long and still don't have what he wanted. Even it was the facsimile of just being in his company.

He should have been a child when he could, because now he was a true man and responsibilities couldn’t be thrown away, he can't justify in younthness his actions or his wants. If he had chance with him, I would have been years away, he could have a stolen a kiss and pass it off as ignorant imprudence and improperty, he might have been forgiven. Be excused with it, and say he didn’t know better.

Wei Ying might have even returned it then.

But now he does. He does know better and how inappropriate it is.

But he wants....he wants so much.

As he sees Wei Ying sleeping. His whole soul plays a different tune. Lust tights his fist around him, and he burns ardently with desire.

Every time, every single time Wei Yings calls him “Lan-er-gege". He’s no listening the innocent way a young man calls an elder. Oh no. All he hears is the tilt a shameless woman uses to seduce a man.

The way it sounds as a beckoning call to her bedchamber. And he knows Wei Ying is only teasing, only playing with him.

He never stopped trying to make him play with him. But how can he answer in jester, when these things provoke the man in him? He should be ashamed, and he is.

But he can't help himself. He drinks the image of rosy lips, soft skin and messy black hair. His long beautiful eyelashes. Even if he is a proper man, he still looks delicate, soft in young masculinity.

He wants to destroy the person lucky enough to have him, even if it is a woman or man. Even if is only just an idea. Because he knows there's no such person lurking on his life. Or maybe he just doesn't want to think there is. Wei Ying hasn’t spoken of anyone new on his letters.

Wei Yings writes him about people yes, but as always is in a disinterest rude manner, sometimes he can't even remember the name of the people he just meet. No one has cached his attention.

He really doesn't want to see it happen. Same as the day Lan Sizhui began noticing women and he felt pride and fear in equal measures. Pride, because he was so gentle, and one day he would be happy knowing love. And afraid because he was already mourning his child. The innocent chubby baby he wrapped on blankets and allowed to sleep on his shoulder.

However, he can't decide what is the appropriated feeling regarding Wei Ying and the concept that one day, he might be with someone he wants. It hurts to think about it. To imagine him so happy and in love.

And it makes him angry to feel this way, what claim does he have? -- none, and truly Wei Ying deserves all the happiness he can get on his second chance. He suffered and sacrificed enough; he deserves everything.

Wangji let his chance go, and he has to suffer those consequences.

Wei Ying is far away and so close. Hes right here just a foot apart. If he extends his hand, he can touch, and he is tempted. His fingers ache with the desire to feel his warm presence. Instead, he coils his fist tightly.

+3+

When he comes back with a light breakfast, Wei Ying is already on his feet, already scribbling away in parchment an assortment of talismans.

“I may need them” he says as an explanation while he finishes with the ink and hastily moves the paper away to make room. “Lan Zhan....” he says and Wangji looks up from the plates. But he is pointing to the bed, where Sizhui is awake with half lidden eyes.

He goes to him and puts a hand over his forehead. He’s warm with a light fever.

“How are you feeling?” he still asks.

Sizhui moans.

“That good uh?” jokingly answers Wei Ying while he sits on the bed.

“A- diē” he moans. But his eyes aren't fixed on one of them, they go from one to the other, making unclear to whom he calls.

“We are here A-Yuan" says Wei Ying. “Here, Lan Zhan got you sweet soup, you still like it right?”

He can feel the tiny smile taking over his lips.

“Bába.... a- diē....” says Sizhui raising his hand shakily, Wangji takes it.

“yes...” says Wangji. “Bába wants to give you soup, be a good child”

A-Yuan nods feverish, Wei Yings eyes are shinning like the ponds in Yummeng, but he gathers the strength to feed A-Yuan the soup and the tea before the boy falls sleep again.

“I hope he doesn't get upset if he doesn't find us the next time he wakes”

“I’ll made sure his cousin is here to keep his company”

“We better hurry with this task then, it pains me to depart”

They rushed with their breakfast even if it is against the rules, but it's just the two of them and really, that is one unrealistic rule. Life can get so fast at times, that chewing trughly can wait for more placid times.

By noon they have covered several li of distance, he can see Wei Ying has regained much needed strength in the last months. But by meal time, they decide to make a quick stop at an Inn to eat.

“Oh no, I'm just power walking” says Wei Ying when he tells him what he thinks. “I gained a little weight, but I'm not near as strong as before. I don’t think I’ll ever will, especially since I'm relaying in talismans rathe that demonic cultivation. But the pshyquical weakness is here to stay, I'm just a normal guy, takes me ages to reach my destinations”

“It will do no good if Wei Ying tires excessively then” he says. “I should acquire horses”

“Well, it will be even faster, and as ashamed as it makes me feel, it would be helpful"

“Theres no shame in admitting weakness”

“But I don’t want to become a burden for anyone”

“Wei Ying is no burden”

“So, you say, but you have to admit it makes things awkward with the sects, having me around and bothering such a stemmed cultivator like yourself”

“They are the ones who should be ashamed of being burdens, because they are...all the time”

Wei Ying laughs deep. “Such a burden Lan Zhan, I can't even...; some of those men can even wipe their asses without assistance”

“It's been very troublesome, but I can't just....”

“I know” cuts Wei Ying with a tired smile. “They do need you....”

“I rather be traveling.... like this...with you” he says lowering his eyes because he can't stop the furious beating of his heart.

Wei Ying laughs awkwardly. “It doesn’t think you’ll like it, I'm sure you would be bored by me pretty soon”

“I really can't imagine that....”

“Of course, no, with men like clan leader Yao and Ouyang lowering the intelligence of a room”

“So, you do know it happens the opposite when you are in it?” He sneaks a glance and Wei Ying is fumbling with his cup and blushing.

“I suppose, if you put it like that, then yes, yes of course I am better company”

“Then your presence can't be called a burden”

“Lan Zhan, politics make you very....” he fishes for a word, but keeps opening and closing his mouth. “Flirty...”

As soon as he says it, Lan Zhan feels the warmth creeping up and up, until he also knows he has blushed. But also, the victory of it. Feeling like he did something right, like he won, he feels satisfaction. He feels accomplishment. But like an addict, his body craves the attention with powerful intention, like a possession of the mind. He wants more of it.

“You are being very talkative now”

He huffs a quiet laugh. “Couldn't stop them from arguing unless I found witty responses to shup them up”

“But you had always being witty with your remarks. It something else, you aren't minding your words.”

He thinks about it, and its true on some level. Being acting sect Leader, and Chief cultivator, has forced him to talk more than he is comfortable, it's not on his nature, but things weren't get done, and frosty commands and final decisions made the sect leaders feel like he was becoming an evil overlord, they hadn't felt threatened by Meng Yao at all. Not even once even if he was a true devil mal.

Nie Huaisang had given him an unsolicited advice, but that it turned out it really was helpful.

He would never be like his brother, who had a sweet and kind disposition. But it turned out that if he explained things more and engaged in conversation more, the sect leaders had a very different disposition.

But he was by no means, a flirty leader. It was just Wei Ying.

It was like a broken dam, and words and feelings were leaking tru the cracks. He needed to...express this warm thing on his chest, it wanted to get out.

“Just with you” he clarified once again, not controlling himself or his feelings.

“Whatever it is. I can't say I'm displeased.” He smiles. “You are witty and intelligent and funny! I would love to see you in session”

“You should come”

“I don't think the leaders would appreciate it like you do, would make them angry. And It would make me angry if they say something stupid”

“You still should come. Things are getting settled, and they could see you are in no way a treat, and you know I would never...turn my back on you”

“I know you wouldn't, you haven't done it since I returned, I'm not even sure if you ever did, even in the past. Maybe I was too stupid to see it, but you have always been on my side, and it makes me happier than I can describe. For that reason, I can't cause trouble to you...”

“Theres no trou...”

“Let's get going Lan Zhan, we have yet a long road ahead”

It feels like punch to the gut, disappointment grips him hard. He lowers his eyes and nods.

They do acquire horses. And as soon as they hit the road outside of town, Wei Ying speeds the horse freely. He can see his satisfied smile when he shouts.

“This is an upgrade of that stupid lovely donkey!!”

Wei Ying knows how to ride with elegance and with power, he is good at it, like he is good in a lot of other gentlemanly arts. And it is a beautiful visage, seeing him riding into the sunset.

But as beautiful as he is, it still feels like Wangji is running behind his back, like he’s always dragging his feet in a race. Following at close heals, but never enough. Fingers brushing mere seconds before his hands slips and he falls, until he is lost forever.

Slow down Wei Ying.

Please slow down...he wants to say.

Let me catch up, let me adjust my grip, don’t slip.

+4+

They arrive to their destination by night fall, in the morning they’ll have to ride a few li more before reaching the forest, but it doesn't make sense to keep going, whatever the woman in the woods is hiding. They wouldn’t find her at night. The forest has too many foliage, and there's lots of places a soul can hide during the night.

But the Inn in town is overcrowded and they only have a room for both of them. It's no trouble really, they have camped and sleep in shared rooms before.

Only it is a problem now, because Wangji has been feeling.....

He’s been feeling like his heart wants to come out of his chest. Like it wants to jump out of his ribcage. Like he can't breath a second longer, the feeling beats wildly out of his cage of control.

And it hurts, it hurts so much, because he wants, he wants so much.

So close and so far, away, and his shoulders feel heavy loaded with despair. He just wants to hug him, feel him alive, touch his warmth with the tips of his fingers. But he knows it won't be just that.

It stopped being enough seeing him from afar. But It would never be enough, if he touches him, he would crave it, he would desire. He wouldn’t be able to control it.

He thought he could control those feelings, because it became obvious why he couldn’t be with him. Why he couldn’t force this feeling on him.

He promised himself that as long as Wei Ying was alive and happy or content. As long as he was in no danger. He was happy and content too.

But it is a lie.

And the pain, the sorrow, the despair feels as big as mourning his death once felt, maybe even worse, because he’s right there with a brilliant smile.

He feels like he is falling, but the wrong way, the desperation, the frustration. Those kinds of feelings are the kind that make a good man turn bad.

He’s shaking with it, and he is ready to renounce everything, just for the chance to have him. Ready to let the sects destroy themselves. Sick and tired of their petty disputes. He feels compelled to even renounce his family, abandon his brother in time of need, just for a chance to be with Wei Ying.

But he is better than this. Wei Ying wouldn't even want him is he ever did such a traitorous thing. They promised to be good, to do justice and good deeds to the world.

And yet....he is angry.

Why does destiny take this from him?

This only thing he wants and needs, and it's not even the flesh sexual act what he wants. He has no desire to force him, it's not his desire to be with him skin against skin.

Although it is too.

But he wants so much more than just that. He’s burning with the desire to be with him when he goes to bed, when he wakes up in the morning, he wants to be there when he laughs, when he gets melancholic about the past. He wants to be the guardian of his dreams, and the protector during his nightmare's.

He just wants to be there for all of it for the rest of his life.

And then so more in the next and the next, and the next. Because it pains him to imagine another lifetime so far away from his very soulmate.

Red string and knot around his core, soul, and heart.

It's unfair.

+++5+++

By dinner time, his fingers felt cold, his chest hollow, empty, throbbing with each breath.

“Hanguan-Juan, why are you so upset, Sizhui will be fine”

“um” he nods and drinks from his cup of tea.

“Ayooo!” he says “Who killed your rabbits?”

“No one, they are safe back....home” he struggles with the last word.

Can it still be called a home? Empty rooms and empty bed? It was not one when a little child cried at night. He can't decide if the ghostly echoes of the cries are his or A-Yuan's. But Gusu Lan sometimes feels like the broken abandoned nest a family of birds left behind.

“I think you are being over worked” he says casually. “Or something big is on your mind”

“There is...” he says. “I might just say it now....”. Because really, some part of the pain is not knowing if there is chance.

“Alright, whatever it is, I'll help you, because you should know I got your back too”

“We should be cultivation partners”

Wei Ying looks surprised for a moment, he wasn't expecting that, but then he begin laughing

“See!, you are funny!”

“I'm not joking”

“Of course, you are, are I expected to believe that you, his revered Chief Cultivator wants to...to...cultivate with the likes of me?”

“Yes”

Wei Ying scoffs “If it is a joke, I must ask you to stop, you damn well know I can't cultivate”

“It is not, Wei Ying....I....I....”

His eyes go soft. “I see... I didn't want to say anything about that, but I recon this can't go on any longer. I'm not as clueless as everyone thinks me to be”

“I know you aren't. I know you sometimes walk faster”

Wei Ying bites his lips and he goes serious. Hes talking with the Yilling Patriarch and that scares him. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. He might have ruined this friendship.

“You do know that being with me is an act of selfishness I can't allow? The cultivation worlds need you. And I can tell it would be very disappointed if you did something like this. I know you want to help me recover by cultivating, but It won't even work, why bother?”

“If I can't be allowed to be with my soul mate even if the cultivating doesn’t work, then what is the point of cultivating? What is the point of this whole lifetime? What is the point of leading the cultivating sects? “

Wei Ying snorts. “Such a romantic you are”

Wangji didn’t know if he should be offended.

“It's too much trouble even if your intentions are good. Gusu Lan won't just open his arms to me, your brother and uncle...”

“I'm acting sect leader. Xichen is not coming out of seclusion, and I expect it will take him a long time, as for my uncle. He might be disappointed, but not entirely surprised. He asks about your whereabouts often”

“Yeah, because he wants to know when the devil it's in theirs mist”

“Because he knows I care. He may never trust you, but he knows I do. And sometimes, you have to make do with the situation”

“And what about the other sect leaders”

Wangji frowned. “Smaller sects will cave to the bigger ones and their opinions can and are influenced easily. The bigger ones. One is your nephew, whom I know you spend considerable time with, and the other is your brother, you are avoiding him, but I can tell he just acting angrier because he wants you to contact him”

“Thats Jiang Cheng for you, but how have you gained this understanding of him?”

“Is it really that difficult to understand a man that expresses everything with anger?”

“I suppose not that difficult, or different to understand as yourself, a man that expresses everything with a calm stoic face, here we are after all, expressing our feelings in such a matter, I should be offended, you should be more romantic than this”

“Does Wei Ying want to know about what I feel when I see him? about my racing heart, about how much happiness it brings me? about how much I missed him for years and years?”

Wei Ying blushed. “No, no, stop, I thought I could take it, but I don’t"

“um” he nodded and felt the disappointment.

“You miss understand. I... feel very deeply for you too, but this not about what we feel for each other. I do know. I knew that night before the temple. And I though....”

Wangji closed his eyes.

“But the world.....”

“I know”

“I did so much wrong”

“You didn’t.... everyone makes mistakes, but they weren't born out of evil intentions. They weren't plotted and malicious, they never were, and the world knows this”

“They know, but they aren't going to stop being hypocrites and judgmental. How are you going to maintain such an important position, with me hanging from your arm?”

“Then I don’t care anymore.”

“What about our son?”

“He can remain with my uncle. But I gladly would quit and travel the lands. It is our promise to each other. How many years have to pass, before we fulfil it?, How many years are we supposed to wait? I can't...not anymore. Wei Ying is my soulmate”

Wei Ying sighed. “I thought this was going to end sooner too. Less than a year, but they are so clueless, like a pack of children, making and making the same mistakes”

“Then we have to solve it in other ways. We might never agree with the current leaders Wei Ying. But you are an excellent teacher, and you have been taking unofficial hunting trips with the boys of every clan. And the leaders constantly bring this fact to my attention. I think that if you officially joined Gusu Lan Clan, this wouldn’t be a worrying matter anymore, you would have expressed permission to do it”

“And how do I join Gusu Lan?”

“Marry me...”

Wei Ying looks surprised. “you mean...besides cultivating together you want to....not as...platonic soul mates...”

“As husbands”

“With kissing and everything?”

“Everything....”

“Bed sharing?”

“Everything”

“Clan allowance?!”

“Everything”

“Fucking?”

“Yes”

“Oh....”

His heart beat faster and faster and he’s getting light headed, it was not an answer yet.

“Can't say I expected that...you hide it very well...”

“umm” he hums' disappointed.

“So, I wonder if you are as passionate with this in action, as you are with everything else. You are a man of actions, not words...”

He looks into his eyes. They are shinning with mirth.

“Wei Ying might like to find out”

“He might indeed...” he smiled fully. “But seriously are you really sure you want us to be....so publicly together?”

“I'm not ashamed of what I desire, I want Wei Ying as my husband and Sizhui as our son”

“You are being very shameless” he smiled softly. “And... I'm happy. Glad. I do want to be with you, but I need to know you are completely sure you want this”

“I do, with all my passion, with all my hopes for the future. I never wanted to be chief cultivator in the first place. I did it because it seemed the right thing to do. But I can't go on without you anymore, its drowning me, it's killing me, I'm tired and alone, and I can't be apart from you a single day more. They either accept what you mean to me, or they can destroy themselves however they see fit”

“You are so sure...and I....”

“I understand....you want pace, you don’t want to go back to those clowns and jesters”

“I just don’t want to cause more trouble, it frightens me, politics....people's opinions, it has scarred me, it was so horrible last time, I did everything wrong, didn’t save the people I loved, I'm so afraid of failing you”

“Take your time thinking about it. I too need to know Wei Ying is sure to accept me and my responsibilities.”

“Thats a bit unfair. Makes me look like the bad guy. If I don’t go back to Gusu with you, you want to quit your job, how can I steal you all to myself, you know that doesn't settle with me, and this fear I feel.....”

“I don’t need a big position to keep our promise. And I do want to settle with you. We gave them too much before. And I know now what I might lose....I don’t want to lose you ever again....”

They both submerged into a contemplative state, only interrupted by the noise of the overcrowded Inn. When it was time to retire. Wei Ying made a big fuzz about the bed. But then again, he always did.

This time tho, it was different. A soon as the candle was blown. Wei Ying moved close enough to touch. Close enough to be held in his arms.

It felt so right, Wangji couldn't think of ever sleeping apart from him again. He was older now, so he knew that often, what people said it was wrong, it wasn’t actually. It was just misunderstood. And what people thought to be harmless, it often was.

He was not a youngster easily swayed into believing a set of hard rules and supposed truths.

People would always talk, they would whisper, they would plot. But being with this man, no matter what they tough or said. It was not wrong.

What felt wrong was to keep them apart.

If a good man can be driven into perdition, he thought this was his edge cliff.

And he’s sure to jump.

++6++++

Next morning, before sunset, they departed from the Inn in search of the hugger of the woods.

“Let's go this way, there's a stream nearby. And I believe a starved woman would set camp near it, it’s a very plentiful place, been there fishing too”

“umm”

“Hanguan-Jun, please don’t be disappointed if I can't be so sure to answer your kind attentions”

“I'm not. It is a serious matter”

“Of course, and there's also that our son is in pain”

“Must hurry”

“I'm serious, It's not that I don’t want.....its just....I feel fear, I feel so tired too, some days I feel like I can't love anymore. I feel that if I lose a single person on my life, it would break me again, everything would be dark”

“I'm here for you”

“And sometimes I wished you weren't....it's painful to think about, but the fear I have of losing you sometimes keeps me awake at night. Sometimes I dream my sister, and sometimes I dream it's you whose death I provoke. I...I feel so empty without you, but I keep thinking that I can't do this. I can't do it anymore”

Wangji stopped walking and felt his heart shattering.

He knew like an abstract concept that Wei Ying had lost so much, and that his pains and ghost would always be with him. But hearing him say these things, made him feel like he failed him. Like he was not enough to protect him. Like once again he couldn’t do a single thing to stop him.

Maybe he shouldn’t.

When they were younger, he tried and tried to stop him from suffering and that made him go away.

But then, what was he supposed to do?

“Lan Zhan...” he begins. But stops abruptly.

From the foliage, a needle sails the air. Wei Ying’s talisman stops it. A furious scream is heard and in just a matter of seconds, Wangji takes his sword and takes a stance.

The woman comes out of the shadows. Shes as described, a shabby dirty woman with crazed gaze.

“Why are you attacking people?!!” screams Wei Ying full of anger, Chenqing on his hands.

“Not people, just you!” she rages and storms in his direction.

No time to think about it. Wangji sways his sword to stop her. The woman to his surprise, takes a sword out of a shahs on her back just in time to stop him from cutting her in half.

They dance around, taking blows and stopping deathly hits. Shes no joking around, she truly wants to kill them, no explanation.

“WHY?” screams Wei Ying throwing more talismans than what Wangji can track, but she is so much experienced than expected.

She is definitely a cultivator, but her face is not one he remembers

“Who in this land does not want to kill you, Wei Wuxian?, haven't you killed enough people to warrant a revenge?”

“Too many to count!”, he says angered. “But I'm asking why did you attack my son?”

“Lan Wangji son!” she screams and, in her rage, she nicks him on the face. He frowns and looks at her feet.

He’s seen that before.

As soon as he thinks he seen it before, he knows where he’s seen it before. DeJa'Vu.

“This are Gusu Lan techniques, badly done.”

“Shup up!” she screams. “Bastard, fucking bastard, you got the gall to tell me that to my face”

Wei Ying stops long enough to examine her, then he throws into the battle again, dancing in the way the Yummeng Jiang Sect does when in defensive attack, but he does not carry a sword with him anymore. And just dances around, his back glued to his, as the woman desperately moves in look of an opening.

But with Wei Ying guarding his back, they both moving in tandem to the sound of an erratic dark melody. The restless souls in the woods come, ghostly lights in the shape of screaming faces.

No human voice's, empty expression forever etched in agony. Their voices are the cruel screams of the ghost flute.

She keeps the pace, never underestimate the power of anger and the thirst of revenge. And of course, never understimate a Gusu technique even when badly performed. But in the end, she slows down her attacks.

Shes starved, she's tired.

“Why do you want this revenge?!” grunts Wei Ying with the effort.

“Because I swearer to kill you both, that child too, if I could, and the opportunity presented itself”

“What did we do?!”

She roars and moves quicker in one more powerful blow. Shes erratic and she stumbles and yet, she still grazes him in the arm and then very nearly gives Wei Ying a poke. But because he thinks Wei Ying has too many scars. He moves lighting fast and shoves her out.

She falls to the ground with a hard hit. She bleeds from the deep wound he gave her on the shoulder. She hisses.

“Enough is enough” says Wei Ying. “I’ll give you one chace to break my sons curse. Or I'll kill you”

“I won't do it!” she grunts.”

“I'm just fine with it. Some people a better off this world”

“Why couldn’t you stay dead?”

“I don’t know what business I have with you, so you shouldn’t care about mine”

“Underserving bag of dirt” she spats. “You!..... you two!,..you killed my husband”

They both understand then.

“Who?” asks Wei Ying.

Ok, maybe just Wangji understands, but he can't blame him.

“Su she...” he says ending the mystery.

“Who?, ah?!, wait....that guy was married? and to a formidable cultivator?”

She begins laughing. “You ended my life. He was my world. We were very happy”

“He took wrong choices and bad turns” Wangji says. “He was a lying traitor”

Her laughter turns into crying. “Yes....but I loved him”

“You can still turn around, it's not late, whatever he might have done, your life should be spared. You can love again if you wish”

“As if...” she says looking at Wangji. “As if one can have more than a soul mate on one lifetime, you should know Lan Wangji”

He does. It is sometimes impossible. It's so rare to find even one. He can't imagine ever finding another soulmate. Not in the way Wei Ying is to him. He has never doubted that their fates are tied by romantic love from another lifetimes.

A tie so strong can only mean a wife or a husband. Otherwise, his lust is not necessary. Fate could have them as friends, as brothers, as any other thing. But he was born into a cut sleeve to make it work.

“Then its better if you go meet him soon” he says. Because he honestly thinks it's a mercy.

When Wen Ying was lost to him, he considered the possibility of just going after him. Another chance in another place, in another timeline.

He did not, because of their child. Said child was sick and hurting. And that made him pause. If he had given up, he might miss Wei Ying’s return.

“Do you have a keepsake of him?”

“No” she closes her eyes. “We couldn’t....”

“Then why did you hold on? if you don’t have...hope” he asks.

“Revenge is a hope” she says with frown. “Because I promised him at his grave”

“Thats bad...” Wei Ying says. “No matter what he did, he took some Karma he would have to repair later. And if you do more damage, you’ll lose your chance to meet him again, too busy repairing your own wrong doings”

“I don’t care anymore”

Wei Ying sighed. “Then....we.”

She scoffed. “Fuck you....I hate you so much, but the mere thought of ever seeing you again even if I don't know it's you, it's disgusting. I don't want to ever cross fates with you, I’ll let the boy live, but you better kill me, I'm done”

“I don’t want to do you wrong either” said Wei Ying slumping his shoulders.

“Coward” she said. She removed a wooded box out of her sleeve and the putrid remains of a heart were inside filled with needles and ribbons. She untied them all. “He should get better...” she sighed. “You are a such bastards, and I hope one day, you feel this pain again”

She took a dagger out and ended herself. The splatter covered the ground. Wei Ying flinched and looked away as she struggled for breath.

And that was the end of that.

+++7++++

The journey back was peaceful and quiet. Both of them too worried to resume their talk. They needed to know that Sizhui was safe.

But also, the woman's words were etched into their minds.

It sat heavily and unsaid.

++8++++

When they arrived at Gusu, they were informed that Sizhui was getting better. When they visited him, he was awake and full of questions.

Wangji still needed to reprimand him about the incident.

“Be more careful, be more vigilant. Some people would always look to do you harm, just because who your parents are....”

“You mean....”

“I feel responsible for you A-Yuan, when I joke and say I am like a mother to you, what I really mean is that I do love you like a son, I always did. You were so small...” Wei Ying says. “I'm sorry that would make your life harder. But I don’t regret it. Loving you as a father”

The boy blushed and nodded. “Thats...more than I can hope for and deserve, honestly”

“Nonsense, you are a sweet kid”

“I’ll be more careful from now on. It honestly passed my attention. I didn’t feel when she prickled me, but I should have checked out as soon as I felt it, it was just like a bug bite as the days passed”

“Yes, you should inform us at once whenever you feel something out of the ordinary. Your father is the chief cultivator and head of Gusu Lan after all. You are too burdened by us, but also, very, very loved”

“I will!” he says earnestly. Wangji feels a deep warm on his chest.

Even if they aren't husbands in the future, they still are fathers together.

+9+++

After two more days of rest, Sizhui is allowed to stand from the bed. They let him sit on the garden outside the infirmary, he sits on a warmed patch of grass. The sun over his head, book in hand.

Wangji and Wei Ying sit on the shaded porch of the budling drinking tea in pace.

It's very, very peaceful, and exactly what he needed. Those days are blurred with quiet happiness. A vacation of sorts to him.

“He shouldn’t stay in the sun to long unless he gets a hat” comments Wei Ying.

“um” he agrees.

“This feels too domestic”

“um?” he asks

“the three of us.... sitting here as time passes. I know it can't be like this all the time, but this stolen moment is perfect”

Wangji looks over at Sizhui and agrees.

“Maybe we should get another one....”

“Another one?...” he asks confused.

“Another child...” he smiles. “Just to keep stealing moments like this....”

He grunts a small smile.

“We could do that. Adopt another child in need. Educate him”

“Yes...”

“Because no one would bat an eyelash if we are married all good and proper”

Wangji looks quickly at him.

“Yeah...” Wei Ying smiles. “That woman made me think. It's true that soulmates are a rare gift from fate. This is my chance to be with you. Who knows when would I get the chance of finding you again? You are the one for me, we have known this since when were young. As an adult I can't deny that I was born for you. I have done too much damage, and I will be expected to repay all my wrong doings, I'm sure we’ll find each other again, but that’s a problem I don’t have right now”

“What about your fears?”

“Can it really get any worse than what has happened? I'm sure I won't be all very peaceful like this. I'm sure it would be hard and sometimes dark. But you are a light to me. You don’t have to run after me anymore. I'm done running. And I believe it is my time to sit beside you and wait. I’ll wait until you are done with whatever you need to do, and then, when we both are free with our time. We could do anything we want. And besides, I do have a knack for teaching”

Wangji took his hand.

“I’ll be a great life” said Wei Ying with a smile. An Wangji knew then, that it was true.

The race was over, but they’ll kelp walking beyond the finishing line.

#alightbuthappypen #wangxianLNY21 #*LNYfic21 #*LNYgifts21

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skzluvs · 4 years

Text

Phobia; Han jisung

Genre: angst, fluff (if you squint)

Warnings: mention of nightmares

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: Hi! I’m back from my hiatus with another angst fic inspired by the drama it’s okay to not be okay combined with a little bit of phobia I hope you guys like it!

The girl who fed on nightmares

there was a girl who woke up every night by the nightmares, demons that haunted her dreams. She was twisted inside, held back by the painful memories of her past.

panting breath, irregular heartbeat, a cold sweat dripping from her forehand. she opened her eyes to meet with the darkness of her room. Terror washed over her. frightened.

"it's just another nightmare" she said trying to calm down the thoughts that were messing up her already deranged head.

a familiar setup, you might think she grew accustomed to the feeling after the third night but that's was not true the lingering feeling of numbness grew by the time she realized there was no escape from the chains that still cuffed her up.

the morning came earlier, with very few hours of sleep, she got up and got ready for work. the days turned into a monotone.

she arrived to bookstore, pure silence made her mind feel content. A moment of peace in the torrential rain.

"excuse me" a soft voice called her, almost as quiet as a whisper that's being shared between lovers.

she looked up to meet with a boy, with black hair and a mischievous smile, he looked cheerful with an undeniable strong aura that surrounded his slender figure, definitely not the type you would see in a library at 8am in the morning.

"yes" she replied politely to the boy who carried a handful on books on his arms.

"i want to check all of these out please" he placed the books on the counter.

As she took a look at the pile, she got intrigued by the peculiar selection.

children books.

but not the kind that you read to a child unless you want them to have nightmares, and she knew damn well about that.

"you like this gruesome stuff ?" she was never the kind to question other people's interests but for some strange motive she wanted to know.

" it's a children's book how can you call this masterpiece gruesome" the boy seemed rather offended by her words.

" the pictures make me want to cry my eyes out and I'm an adult, there's no way this book was targeted for such audience" she said

" it seems like you know nothing about this books not the author , therefore I won't be engaging in a discussion, you can continue to be ignorant later just let me borrow them so I can go" he said annoyed, taping with his finger on top of the dusty cover.

The girl refused to give out response and rather continued to do her job. she sure didn't get paid enough for that.

"here" she said handing him the books along with the returning slip. "you have 2 weeks to return them unless you want more time come before the deadline to extend the borrowing period"

"thank you" he left not sparing to look at her for the last time before exiting through the door.

the browned eyed boy who just happened to be named han jisung, she found out his name through his library card. Was all she could think about, not because she was interested, but because of the of his actions. Usually she evaded social situations, she found people not worth of her time, but there was something about that boy that made her wanted to crush him like a fragile butterfly with broken wings.

another meaningless night, it was tiring to get emptied out like that. Every time she closed her fears shaped into a reality. she was stuck with the phobia.

days passed by, a body that walks through the streets without a soul. There was nothing she wanted nothing she desired more but to fall asleep. So she lived her life longing for that moment.

going through the bookshelves placing them correctly by alphabetical order. A pair of eyes stuck to the back of her head.

a boy who watched her carefully from the other side of the room, and he probably thought he was being precautious, but she knew she was being observed.

Jisung. Who came everyday just to sit as far back from the main entrance as possible, hiding in a corner reading the books he so much loved. After the first encounter with the girl he could no longer sleep the same way. His thoughts circled around her small frame and the sound of her broken voice.

there was this thing about her, he called it despondency and he was drowned right into it. like the tales had taken over a human form.

by the end of the two weeks he stood there fidgeting, over the course of the last couple of days his little instigating got him nowhere. She repeated a daily routine, there was nothing to analyze in her vague movements and worn out expressions. However he knew she hides more than the human eye can perceive behind that weary facade.

The moment she clocked out he followed her outside.

"why are you following me" the girl stopped her tracks and made a spin over her ankles, just to meet with him.

"I needed to ask you something" He said rather shy. all the courage he build up over the weeks disappearing at the strong gaze that confronted him.

"I'm not obligated to respond, do me a favor and get lost" She turned around and continued to walk.

It was an expected reply exactly what made jisung decide it was better to come up with a different plan.

every day he would put a book of his collection on top of her desk hoping she would get interested enough to read it.

but instead she would just eye the cover and place it back to its shelf.

Not until one day she meet to something different, the book had a folded edge, opening the page carefully, her fingers ghosting over the words printed on the glossy paper.

"bad memories from the past that he wanted to erase from his head"

"were replayed in his dreams every night"

"and haunted him nonstop"

"the boy was terrified of falling asleep"

a creeping feeling went down her spine, and her trembling hands made the book fall. Her own monsters greeted her with a grin. Collapsing with the wooden floor.

jisung got petrified by the loud sound. He hurried his way to find the girl unconscious on the ground. it was all his fault.

a disturbing sound came from her mouth. She woke up in an oddly unfamiliar house. Her body covered by a thin blanket, the walls were closing like the screams that got caught up in her throat.

jisung who was downstairs making dinner ran through the stairs and opened the door alarmed at the high pitched noises.

"Are you okay?" He exclaimed trying to recover his breath.

"what am I doing here? where am i ?" she asked not trying to panic even more. She felt so dizzy the room kept on spinning.

"you're at my house, you passed out at the library" He said scratching the nape of his neck with guiltiness.

"I remember now, this was your deed, you and your stupid nauseating books" by the looks of it she had been gone for a while. Not to mention the longer she was in a slumber the longer the suffering.

"not my fault you got scared by a book for 5 year olds" He said shrugging, with an unprovoked expression.

"And you dared to call me an ignorant" she deadpanned.

"Do you fear anything?" He asked out of the blue.

what is the real meaning behind fear?. Fear is tangible. Is the anxiety, the desperation to run away and hide forever where they can't find you, it means to want to stab your eyes with a safety pin to blind the pain. Is the captivity of oneself.

"You're scared of yourself aren't you?" it no longer sounded like a question but more like an affirmation.

he had figured you out in no time. You couldn't let them see the vulnerable side, not to anyone and most definitely not this stranger.

"You said it yourself you know nothing so leave alone before it's too late" She threatened.

"Anyways I'm sorry for being so persistent, never intended to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll be downstairs if you need me, dinner is ready if you want to come and have something to eat before you leave" He knew it was better not to push it if he wanted answers.

But why was he so desperate to understand the world inside her head ?

Jisung felt the loneliness of her being. He came up to the conclusion that he wanted to be the person who brought the girl back to life.

After some time he grew a step closer to her, not to the point she would stop pushing him away but at least his efforts had made a very insignificant change.

She would let him read the books to her once in a while, she fed into the words, relating to every single one of them. But things were still the same at night, she would break down to the horrifying sight.

"Jisung why are you still here ?" she asked him unable to understand why the boy remained by her side even when she treated him like a piece of trash.

"Because im trapped under your spell" he confessed.

"You’re e going to end up in so much pain" she said looking into his eyes.

"You can't go to heaven before crossing the flames of hell" He responded with certainty. “ and If I have to burn I rather do it while still holding you”

"Would you still like me if you knew the kind of monster I am, not the one you read in books but the kind that hides behind a mask and transforms at night"

" I would still like you if you were the devil himself"

" The devil wont tear your soul apart like I would trust me" She knew she would drive him into despair. But she had warned him multiple times, from here she no longer take accountability, he would meet fear. She would make sure of that.

I'm stuck with the phobia although I want to stay with you I'm scared that you might disappear in between the shadows. How can I hold you when I was made to destroy you.

there was a girl whose world was a pitch black hole and her insides were dark and twisted, and a boy who fell in love with her repulsiveness swore to never leave her, but her darkness overshadowed the fugacious happiness of a spur moment and the voices in her head claimed that she was all alone. but the boy sang to her a lullaby that lulled her into a deep sleep and for the first time in forever there were no painful memories in her dreams.

She was the girl who fed on nightmares. The one he once read about and the one he was now holding on his arms.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids fics #stray kids au #hwang hyunjin #bang chan #kim seungmin #han jisung #seo changbin #lee felix #yang jeongin #lee minho #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids #stray kids scenarios

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

Text

5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: The Proposal

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Your's and Ben's agents approach you about pretending to date in order to boost interest in your new movie.

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter other than some swearing maybe? Things may get a little spicy in later chapters though.

Words: 5843

AN: This fic was written for El @laedymoon for her 1K celebration! I took the trope 'fake dating' and this was the result! Honestly fake dating is one my my fave tropes and I've been wanting to try my hand at it for a while so this was so much fun to write! Originally it was meant to be a one shot but when have I ever been good at sticking to plans lmao? Instead it'll probably end up as a three or four part series, maybe with an epilogue as well, who knows.

I’d also like to point out I started writing this months before we got those photos of Ben and Olivia so this was in no way inspired by anyone’s theories about whether or not their relationship is a PR stunt and I’m not particularly interested in that kind of talk.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

You’d known fake celebrity relationships were a thing that happened, you just never expected to be approached about one. But, here you were, sat next to Ben in an office usually reserved for producers meetings, a slight frown on his face as he listened to your agents explain how beneficial it would be if the public believed you were a couple. “It’ll be good for the movie,” your agent, Mary, said matter-of-factly, “Studies show that if people – particularly women ages 15 – 45, the exact demographic we’re targeting – believe a real romance sprouted during the course of filming a movie, they are 78% more likely to see the movie. Plus, your names in the tabloids mean more exposure for both of you which means more offers in future, no matter how well this movie does in the box office. It’s all about being seen, people knowing your names.” “Are you serious?” Ben asked slowly, glancing to you, as if trying to determine your reaction. “Look, Ben, obviously we can’t force you or Y/N to do this,” his agent, Peter, introduced to you moments before, said, “the movie has already started filming and everyone appreciates your opinions, so saying no isn’t going to affect your jobs. But,” he paused, making sure the words were getting through to you both, “we strongly recommend you consider it. There are enough pros to make it worthwhile and it would only have to last until a week or two after the premiere. We can give you the rest of the day to think it over and make your decisions, but we will require an answer by tomorrow morning. If you agree, we can discuss terms and get everything in order to run the first story early next week.”

You and Ben left, tempted to laugh at the strangeness of your morning. “Think I need a coffee after that. You wanna come over to my trailer for a cup?” “Yeah, okay, sounds good,” you followed him quietly for a moment, thinking over the conversation you’d just been part of, “What do you think?” “About what? Coffee? You know I love it,” “Not coffee, the whole pretending to date thing,” “Oh that,” you could almost hear his eyes roll. “You don’t think it’s worth it?” He paused. “Saying no won’t hurt my feelings,” you nudged his shoulder, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort, “it is a weird situation.” “Weird is an understatement. And weren’t you with that Luke guy, what would he say about it?” “He’ll say nothing since we’re not seeing each other anymore,” “Wait, what?” “Yeah that lasted like three dates and went nowhere, I haven’t seen him in weeks.” “Oh, sorry.” You shrugged, “What’s there to be sorry for, he was boring. Anyway, we were talking about you and me.” “Right, that.” Ben opened the door to his trailer and waved you inside, following you over the threshold, “What do you think about it?” “I’m not opposed to it. We already spend a lot of our time pretending to date anyway.” Ben chuckled as he flicked the small kettle on, grabbing your two mugs and the instant coffee. “Plus it would be good to get our names out there a bit more. And we're friends, right?” After the weeks of pre-production costume fittings and script read-throughs you certainly thought you were friends and hoped Ben did too. “Of course we’re friends doofus,” “Thanks dweeb. But that means it'll be fun getting to hang out and stuff.” “So, wait, you think it’s a good idea?” “Well it can’t hurt, can it?” Ben frowned, forehead creased, “Don’t you think it’s all a bit, well, daft? As if us dating, real or not, would really have an impact on the movie, I think that’s bullshit. Plus, y’know, the work we’d have to put in to making it seem real or whatever. That’s just inviting extra stress into our lives and extra work which it doesn’t sound like we’d be getting paid for. Acting’s fun but I don’t want to spend every waking moment doing it.” “Well it wouldn’t be every waking moment would it? Just the ones when they had photographers around. They’ll get a few photos of us leaving set holding hands or out having dinner together and spin it into a big romantic story and all we’d have to do is hold hands and have dinner. And you can’t call bullshit when they had actual statistics to back them up.” “It sounds like you’re trying to convince me.” “No, if you don’t want to I don’t mind, but I also don’t see anything wrong with it. And I think you should actually think about it instead of writing it off instantly.” “So if I said I was into it, you’d want to?” You shrugged, “Yeah. I want this movie to do well, I want this job to go somewhere. And if I have to date you to make that happen I will. That sounded better in my head. I just mean that I’m happy to pretend to date you, even if I wouldn’t in real life, no offence.” “I’m a little offended,” he chuckled, “but really can’t argue with that can I?” “If you’re not comfortable with it, say so and we’ll tell them no,” Ben paused, staring at you as he considered what you’d said, quiet for so long you were sure he was going to say he wasn’t interested. You were about to put him out of his misery and tell him you didn’t want to anymore when he spoke up. “They did say it would be good for the movie and out careers,” “Someone’s coming around,” you sing-songed, taking the mug he offered you. “Alright, I admit, maybe not as awful an idea as I first thought. There are…some pros anyway. And I guess we can hear the terms and then make up our minds properly.” “Aww, looks like I got myself a boyfriend,”

The next morning you found out what you were in for if you did agree to it. Once again both of your agents were waiting in the office but this time a third person was with them when you arrived. “Y/N, Ben, take a seat. This is Barry, he’s a representative from Paramount Pictures.” Barry, with his salt and pepper hair and well cut suit, leaned forward in his seat to shake Ben’s hand and then yours with a pleasant greeting. “Well,” Mary spoke up, “have you made a decision?” Ben looked to you before he spoke, “It’s a tentative yes from both of us. We’d like to hear a bit more about it before we fully agree but, so far, it sounds okay.” “Glad to have you on board,” Barry said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a manila folder full of paper. “In that case, the terms,” Peter said, glancing around to make sure everyone was ready, “If you do agree, we’ll need you to sign some paperwork stating you understand your obligations and all that, so take a copy of these,” he took two small stapled documents from Barry, handing you each one, before passing another to Mary, “just so everyone has all the info at hand.” “Are these the terms?” “Yes. Don’t worry, we’ll explain, but it’s all laid out in there if you need clarification.” “There’s more pages than I was expecting,” Ben said, already sounding like it was becoming too much work to worry about. “You don’t have to worry about the last few pages, it’s mostly just legalese. Essentially, you’ll be required to act like a couple in public. That’s really all there is to it, though contractually it’s a little more complex.” “What does that mean?” “We just need you both to agree to perform specific relationship type moments that we can sell. For instance, Y/N, we will need you to be spotted by paparazzi leaving Ben’s apartment a couple of times. Or vice versa. It is the 21st century afterall.” “You mean like a walk of shame?” you asked, glancing at the paper in your hand. “That’s not the official term on the contract but it’s more or less correct. You’ll need to change clothes, make it look like you stayed the night even if you didn’t really.” “Wouldn’t it be more traditional to wear the previous day’s gear?” “Perhaps but if you’re in the same clothes as the day before the paparazzi can’t sell the photos as easily because they can’t prove they were taken on different days. We want to make these photos easy to sell and easy to circulate. To that end, some paparazzi and gossip blogs will be tipped off by the studio and hopefully word will spread as the buzz around you gets stronger.” “There will also be required dates, of course. At least one of them needs to take place at the French restaurant Boucher because they have a partnership with the studio. There is also a clause about an argument, provided people become interested in your relationship and we keep it going all the way to the premiere.” “Wait, an argument?” Ben flipped through his papers, trying to find the right section. “You just have to be caught arguing, or at least looking like you’re angry and about to fight, just so we can sell the whole trouble in paradise storyline.” “People like conflict,” Mary shrugged, “Otherwise all we need is the two of you to act like a couple in public, maybe a few social media posts, from now until a week after the theatre release. After that you’re free to ‘break up’, though you will also need to sign a non-disclosure agreement which will stop you from talking about it for a few years. We’ll organise a few magazines and gossip sites to run stories about the split and, depending on how the public react to your story, may later run some Ben and Y/N, back together question mark type pieces, entirely fabricated of course.” “You will attend the premiere together and, obviously, do press together. We will tell reporters not to ask about your personal lives, so no one suspects the relationship to be fake, though a few questions may slip through. Though we don’t expect this movie to earn any award nominations since it’s not being marketing for any there may be some later down the track. In that case we may ask you to extend your relationship long enough to attend the ceremonies together, provided you aren’t working on other projects at the time.” “The only other requirements are that, a few times a week you allow yourselves to be seen in public. Hand holding, kissing, really sell the whole fallen in love thing. That’s it really.” “And we can’t even tell our families?” “One leak is all it would take to have this revealed. You tell your mum who accidentally lets slip to the neighbour who sells it to a magazine. And if it’s revealed it could be harmful when it comes to box office numbers, which is the exact opposite of what we want. But enough of these have been done so that we know how to manage them, and all you have to do is keep quiet about it and act like you’re in love. Easy. Are you both on board?” Barry, who’d been quiet throughout the meeting, leaned forward expectantly. You already knew what to say, "I’m in if Ben is,” Ben chewed his lip as he skimmed over the paper in his hands again. He sighed and raised his eyes to where Barry sat, waiting. “I don’t know I-” You’d seen it coming, his answer. Really it wasn’t much of a surprise. Ben didn’t strike you as the sort of person to go in for schemes like this and he’d been hesitant from the second it was suggested. You heard him sigh again as his gaze landed on you and you wondered if he thought less of you for wanting to be part of it. “Okay. I’m in.” You were a little stunned by his change of heart but you were the only one. Everyone else in the room seemed relieved and a little frantic, Barry reaching back into his bag, Mary and Peter talking over each other to assure you both that you’d made the right choice. “Glad to hear that, Ben,” Barry was saying as he pulled out another folder of documents, “Now, we’ll need you to both to sign here.”

After shooting was done for the day you accompanied Ben to a small pub for a drink. Mary and Peter had left the meeting on their phones making hurried calls to get photos of the two of you leaving the set together. You’d jumped a little as Ben grabbed your hand before realising why his fingers were linked through your own. It was warm and he didn’t let you go until you reached the pub, the snap of cameras audible as you walked down the street. You found a booth while Ben headed to the bar, returning a little later with a drink in each hand. “One G and T for my girlfriend,” he laughed as he put the drink in front of you and slid into the seat opposite. “Y’know if you told me last week that I’d have had a boyfriend before we finished filming and that it was you, I would have laughed.” “God me too. Our jobs are so bizarre. Literally what other profession would encourage you to pretend to date?” You laughed and pulled out the papers you’d been given that morning, “And who’d have thought there’d be so many contractual requirements.” “We should add our own set of rules. Like just so we’re clear about what we’d be uncomfortable doing or whatever.” “Safewords?” “Get your mind out of the gutter. Christ, you fake ask a girl out and suddenly all she can think about is sex.” “My mind was in the gutter long before we were set up.” He let out a huff of laughter and shook his head, reaching for his glass. “I know what you mean though. We should definitely define some things,” you grabbed your bag and began digging through it for a pen. When you found it, you turned the papers over giving you a blank canvas to work on, “Firstly sex.” “Should have known,” “May as well start with the big one. Rule 1: No Sex. Completely off the table.” you took a sip of your drink as you began jotting it down. “Your wank game strong?” The conversation was interrupted as you choked on your drink, finally recovering enough to splutter, “excuse me?” “Well it sounds like we might be together for a while. Can’t go on any tinder dates or anything since that would look like cheating. You sure you can last that long? “100 per cent.” “Alright, if you’re sure. Rule one, no sex.” You finished writing it down, rolling your eyes, “What about PDAs? We have to do some but is there anything you’d be uncomfortable with?” “I’m not really one for like public make out sessions,” “Thank god, me neither.” “Okay, good. What about cuddling and that kind of thing. Man this is weird to talk about,” “Yeah, is a bit. I can do some cuddling in public but y'know, nothing too much. Hugs are fine, an arm around my shoulders is fine. Holding hands is obviously okay.” “What about an arm around the waist?” “Hmmm….maybe. Yeah, I think I’d be okay with that. But your hand never goes below my lower back. I will have no arse grabs or pinches or hands in my back pocket.” “Wasn’t planning on that but good to know. Does cuddling include lap sitting?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay, strong boundaries, I respect that. You going to write all that down?” “Rule 2: PDAs kept respectable and to a minimum. And rule 3: hands above the belt at all times. What about our families and friends?” you asked as you made notes on acceptable PDAs, “chances are we’re going to have to deal with them at some point since they’re going to think it’s real.” “Okay, um, how about…no meeting anyone unless there’s a reason like a family gathering you’d be expected to bring a partner to. And if that does come up we can work out a game plan then.” “Make sense. Rule 4: No families unless no escape.”

By the time you left the pub, your list of rules tucked into your bag, it was quite late. “Hey, you wanna crash at mine tonight?” Ben asked, “we can text Peter and Mary, let them know so they can organise paparazzi for the morning.” “Tonight? I don’t have a toothbrush or a change of clothes or anything.” “We’ll pop into a shop and buy you a new toothbrush, should probably get you one for my place anyway since apparently you’ll be staying over more than once. And I’m sure I’ve got something you can sleep in.” “And tomorrow? Can’t wear this again in case we get photographed.” “I’ll give you something and then I’ll drop you home in the morning,” he shrugged. “I guess that would work,” “C’mon, it’ll be like a sleepover. Stay up late and talk about boys, have things devolve into a sexy pillow fight, sleepover stuff.” “And you say my mind lives in the gutter.” “That’s not a no,” “Alright, I’ll crash at yours. Closer to here than mine is anyway.” “Awesome,” he grinned at you, “c’mon, this way….babe?” “Didn’t sound so convincing there, Ben,” you snorted. “You should have used a pet name then, instead of my actual one. And I was just testing the waters, what’d you think?” “Babe’s okay. As long as we don’t get into weirdly cutesie things like turtle dove or snookums.” “You don’t want me to call you snookums? How about cuddle bunny? Pumpkin pie?” “Oh fuck off,” “Think you mean fuck off honey bear.” “Rule 5: Standard pet names only!”

As much as he clearly enjoyed teasing you, Ben made sure you had a good time with him. He took your hand again but it was only so he could pull you into the warmth of a small Chinese restaurant. It was one he seemed to regularly visit judging by the way the man at the counter knew Ben’s order straight away. He seemed a little surprised when Ben asked to add extra dishes, eyes darting to your entwined hands, and then back to Ben’s face, but he said nothing, just cheerily gave Ben the new price. “What was that about?” you asked as you walked the last block to Ben’s door, each of you carrying a bag, his full of food and yours supplies from the grocery store, “the look he gave you when he saw me?” “Oh, that’s nothing. I used to go to that place a lot with my ex and then we broke up and I kept going on my own cause it’s close and it’s fucking good food. But, um, they know me pretty well and I guess it’s been a while since I took a girl there.” “Well I’m flattered that you chose me to be part of this touching moment,” you laughed and followed Ben to his front door, taking the second bag from him so he could pull his keys from his pocket and let you in. You’d never been inside Ben’s place before so you let him lead you down the hallway towards the kitchen, taking charge of pulling everything from the bags as Ben got out plates and cutlery. “Oh shit, hang on gotta text Mary and Peter,” You took over dividing up the food as Ben dug his phone out of his pocket. A few seconds after he’d sent the message and put his phone down a ding made him snatch it back up again. “Peter says there’ll be someone here to snap us while we leave. They want us to kiss if possible. Guess it’s really started then,” “Guess so. Can I ask one thing?” “Sure,” he said it slowly, almost nervously. “Why’d you change your mind about this? I thought for sure you’d say no.” “Oh, that. I don’t know, I guess I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially if it was going to benefit the movie. C’mon, don’t want this to go cold,” You weren't sure you believed him but you let him shrug off the question as you picked up your plate and followed him into the living room. The next couple of hours were spent eating and watching trashy reality tv shows, making jokes at their expense. You and Ben kept talking long after the show ended, until he realised how late it was getting. “Better turn in otherwise I won’t get up in the morning,” he laughed. “Yeah, probably a good plan,” you stretched out on the couch, placing a cushion under your head. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” “You mean I’m not sleeping on the couch?” “Oh my god you’re a dork,” he threw another cushion at you, “I have a spare room you can use.” “Well I didn’t know that,” you laughed as you pushed yourself to your feet, following him back down the hallway towards a closed door you hadn’t noticed before. “Nah, you’re all good. It’s honestly mostly used by my friend Joe when he’s travelling over this way. There’re clean sheets in the linen press in the bathroom which is the next door on the right, and extra blankets in the cupboard just there. Also watch the blinds if you try to close them, they can be a little stiff. If there’s anything else you need let me know, my bedroom is at the end of the hall, near the living room.” “Some PJs would be good, if it’s no trouble.” “Oh right, yeah of course, give me a second.” You dropped your bag in a corner of the room and then popped into the bathroom to grab some sheets. Ben came back with an old t-shirt and some flannel pants. “These are mine so they’ll probably be a bit big but they’ll be fine for the night. And they’ll look good for the camera in the morning.” “Thanks,” “That everything?” “Think so, night Ben,” “Night, snookums.” “Rule five mister,” Ben just laughed, pulling your door shut behind him.

Waking up in Ben’s spare room was mildly confusing. The bed faced a different direction than yours did, the blinds blocked out too much of the morning light, and the sheets felt different. But the previous night came back to you and then the reason you were staying at Ben’s did too. It made you too nervous to go back to sleep, too restless to stay there, so you got up and stumbled to the door, opening it just in time to see Ben leaving the bathroom. “Morning,” he groaned with half shut eyes and sleep mussed hair, “you want a coffee?” “Please. Thanks.” He yawned, acknowledging your answer with a nod and left the bathroom to you. When you were done you found him in the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands and a second on the bench in front of him. You took it gratefully, letting the warm caffeine wake you up.” “Breakfast? I can offer you toast or cereal unless you wanna wait for pancakes to cook.” You shook your head, “Don’t normally eat breakfast,” Ben looked aghast, “You know breakfast’s important, right?” “Shhh, lemme wake up before you start lecturing me,” Ben smiled into his own mug, falling silent until you’d downed half your drink, “You good now? Alert?” “Close enough. Please don’t tell me about breakfast though.” “I wasn’t going to. There was another text from Peter this morning.” “What’d it say?” “Well, a photographer will be here around nine-ish ready for us, but they said he’ll stay for as long as we take.” “Okay.” “And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben cleared his throat and took a sip of coffee, his eyes firmly fixed over your shoulder. “What time is is?” “Uhhhh,” he glanced at the oven, “Twenty past eight.” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” “Me too,” “We’re meant for each other,” you laughed, “did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times.” “Did I now?” “Of course.” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying.” “You’re an actress, Y/N. Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at Ben as you stood and headed towards the bathroom again but you did as he’d suggested and messed your hair up as much as you could.

“How do I look?” you ask Ben when you were done. “Gorgeous,” he said, eyes raking over every inch of your appearance from the ruffled hair to the hint of panda eyes you’d manufactured with your eyeshadow to the slightly unbuttoned flannel shirt and missing pants. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, umm, yes I think so,” “You do? I feel like theres something missing.” You darted back into the bathroom to look in the mirror again, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” “What is it?” Ben asked, following you and watching you in the mirror. “What if you gave me a hickey?” “Y/N, I-” “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it.” Ben’s cheeks puffed up with air that he slowly let escape his lips, “no, you’re right, if I’d really slept with you last night I would have marked you up a bit. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic.” “It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” “No, no, we have to make it look legit, it’s a good suggestion. Here, I’ll uhh,” he stepped in close, one hand tentatively winding around your waist to pull you back against him, the other moving to push your hair aside. His breath was hot as he leaned into your neck. You saw him glance at your reflection, eyebrows slightly furrowed, but then his lips were on your skin, sucking at you until a bruise formed. Your own breath quickened with the contact but you knew it was just because he’d found a particularly sensitive spot and it had been a while since anyone had handled you like that. It was still just Ben and it was still part of your jobs. But all the same you let your eyes slip shut and hummed at how nice it felt. You were almost disappointed when it was over. Ben stood there for a moment, head bent over your neck, long enough to take a deep breath, but then he seemed to collect himself, taking a quick step back. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben, really ties the whole look together.” Ben returned your smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine,” you said, glancing at your phone, “wonder if the photographer is here yet.” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he definitely will be.” “Okay,” “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine, Y/N, no need for any of that.” He smiled again as you left the bathroom and the door shut behind you, but it still seemed off.

You settled onto the couch to flick TV channels, pausing at a breakfast news show and then at some kids cartoon you didn’t recognise, only stopping when Ben entered the room, clean and dressed. “Hey, I was wondering,” you said, turning towards him, “should I give you a hickey as well?” “No,” You were a little taken aback by how quickly he’d answered. “I mean, I think that’d be overkill. Keep it up our sleeves for next time, yeah?” “Okay, yeah, sure,” “Is he there?” “I think so.” Ben walked towards the window and twitched the curtain aside just enough to peek out, “Yeah, looks like him. Big camera pointing at my front door.” “Okay,” your heart began to beat a little faster, “show time then,” “Show time.” Ben nodded as he turned back to you. “Do we have a plan? I kinda wish I had a script right about now,” Ben laughed a little and you thought he seemed more himself, “I think you should go out first so they can get a good clean shot and then I come out after, maybe with my hand on your back?” “Sounds good,” “Okay, umm, I’ll lock the door and when I turn around you kiss me and then I’ll open the passenger door for you and we’ll drive to your place.” “Don’t bother opening my door. I’m not big into that kind of gesture, plus I think if we were actually being caught by the paparazzi, we’d be getting into the car as quick as possible. Maybe throw a look his way like you aren’t happy about being photographed just so it doesn’t seem too staged.” “Okay, no opening doors, noted.” You shrugged, “I just think it’s a bit old fashioned and unnecessary,” “I’ll keep that in mind for our dates. You ready to do this?” You nodded and stood up, leading the way to the front door. Ben collected his keys and wallet and placed a hand on the lower part of your back, your signal to open the door and step outside. “Kinda wish I had pants on,” you said softly, “It’s a bit brisk,” Ben chuckled as he followed you out, “We’ll put the heating on in the car for you,” he turned to lock the door. You watched him, fingers gripping the key a little tighter than he perhaps normally would, and as soon as he began to turn back around you were moving towards him, one hand thrown around his neck, the other in his hair as your pressed your lips to his. His hand found your back again, pulling you in close as he kissed you back fiercely, as if he were unwilling to let you go after such a good night together, the kiss of a man falling in love. For half a second you forgot it was an act. And then he was gone, his nose brushing yours briefly before there was space between you. You felt a little dazed with Ben looking at you so softly but you took a deep breath and reality came back to you. With another breath your turned and headed towards the car, able to hear the rapid click click click of the camera. You shot a look towards the noise and then got into the car, Ben hopping into the driver’s seat about a second later.

“You’re a good actor,” you said before silence could settle between you, “I already knew that, of course, but the kiss was really good. Almost completely believable.” “As long as it’s believable enough in the photos,” “I’m sure it will be. I think we pulled it off.” Ben nodded, “Yeah. You still chilly?” “Little bit,” He reached over and twisted one of the dials blindly, warm air suddenly washing over your goosebump covered legs, “better?” “So much, thanks.” “I think he might be following us,” “You did tell them we were going to mine, s’pose he’ll be trying to grab a couple of shots of us there.” “Yeah, probably.” “Should we come up with another game plan? Maybe you walk me to my door, we stand there talking for a bit, saying goodbye. I stay and watch you leave before I go inside.” “Perfect. Is another kiss part of the goodbye?” “Careful Ben, you sound almost like you want to kiss me,” you laughed, “but yes, think it needs to be.”

It went completely according to plan. By the time you were getting out of the car the photographer had pulled up outside your house, his camera sticking out the window of his car so he didn’t miss his shot. The camera clicked as Ben took your hand and you led him to your door. “Well, guess that’s it for today. I did have fun with you last night, even if it wasn’t the kind of fun everyone else will think it was.” “Yeah, me too. Happy to have you stay anytime you want to be photographed again. Maybe we’ll get you some PJs that can live at mine though.” “Probably for the best. If this goes well I can see them wanting us to do it again soon.” “Oh definitely. They’ll probably have notes for us so we can get an even better performance next time. You ready to wow them with another kiss?” “Lay it on me, babe,” “Anything you want, snookums,” You groaned but before you could protest too much Ben was kissing you again, softer than before, no longer trying to convince you to stay, just trying to prolong the moment before the goodbye. It left you a little breathless as he cupped your cheek, leaving his hand there when he pulled away. As you opened your eyes you saw him bite his lip and then he leaned in to leave you with a final chaste peck before his fingers slipped from your skin and he was walking away. You let out a long exhale as you watched him go, waving as the car took off. Once you were alone inside, the door firmly shut behind you, you laughed at how ridiculous the whole arrangement was. But at least Ben was a good kisser. Not too firm, not too wet, just the right amount of tongue. Believable enough to give you butterflies.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhh #this was fun #i hope ya'll like it

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kinkyacademia · 4 years

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Can you write a fic were Hawks x Male reader were the reader loses their dog(Preferably a large breed) is a villain attack. Hawks ends up finding the dog, returns it, but is surprised to see that the reader is actually the nerdy kid from his old high school and now the reader looks hot and just go on from there. Don´t judge me.

bI don’t really know who this was for, but I snatched it up because BAM it was cute :)Okay after writing this, I have to say: I didn’t expect to make Hawks such a bottom, but he is SUCH A BOTTOM IN THIS IM SO SORRY-Orange warning. This has fairly lewd content in it, but since there isn’t any sex, it’s less of a lemon and more of an orange.

-Mod Pasta 🍜🍝

🌪”Charles!” You shouted when you got home. There had been a villain attack near your house and you rushed home to check up on your purebred Newfoundland named Charles. Upon not finding him, you got worried, calling the police. They told you that they would look for the dog among the havoc the villain had caused. Anxiety plagued you, but alas there was nothing you could do. It was in the hands of heroes now, probably that up and coming new hero you heard about: The one with wings.

🌪Takami had been flying around for a while, lazily collecting distressed civilians and checking up on people around the firefight. It had been an odd villain: some rando had gone rough and used his attraction quirk to pull builds together. Hawks had neutralized him, then joined the rescue squad. It was a high-injury event because of the violent power, but all injured civilians were now in care. It was near the end of the day, right when Hawks was going to leave and go home for dinner, when he got a heads up from the police that a dog was missing. Some huge, fluffy dog a boy had called in about. He immediately swooped down to look for it.

🌪Finding the dog was a breeze: it had just been accidentally pulled out of the yard of its owner and run directly into the danger. It was trotting along in the rubble, sniffing around for a tasty snack. He landed, giving the dog his hand while he reported to the police that he had found it. The dog barked happily, trotting right up to him and promptly leaning the side of its body all the way into him. He hadn’t expected it to be so loving, and he stumbled back with a shout of surprise, then delight. It was such a sweetie! He cooed at the big puppy, ruffling its ears until the police notified him that they could still hear him and gave him the address of the owner.

🌪The dog seemed comfortable with Takami flying, so he set off towards the owner’s house with it in tow, a little uncomfortable because of the weight, but able to manage. Once he set it down, he had to stretch his arms, his joints popping. The dog barked as it happily looked up at him. Almost immediately the door of the little house opened, the light blaring through the dark dusk as the owner rushed forward, hugging their pet. He proudly crossed his arms, “I found him in the rubble, he’s pretty cute.”

🌪When the owner looked up, he definitely didn’t expect to see (L/N) (F/N) from his old Hero course. You looked up with surprise, “Takami…?”

🌪You two caught up quickly, and you offered him tea as he followed you inside. You had settled as a sidekick to a hero agency, and he raved about how nerdy you had been back in high school. You had worn thick-rimmed glasses, always corrected him on minor arithmetic details, and had a problem with self-care and acne. Now none of those things were present, especially the problem with self care… Yeah, as you poured the willow tea, he admired your ass from your couch as he removed his suddenly stuffy jacket. You took care of yourself alright, very well.

🌪You seemed indifferent to his interest, happily talking about old times and relating them to your new job. Charles ended up laying his body across the both of you, and you laughed, giving his back end a slap. The puppy barked, wagging his tail. Both of you laughed at that, and Hawks rubbed the dog’s head, still infatuated with the baby. His eyes didn’t stray from your own for long, however: yours just seemed so much brighter without the glasses. How could puberty hit someone so late and so hard?

🌪You calmly smiled, drinking your tea serenely, “Thanks for returning Charlie. I bet he’s pooped from running around the city.”

“Probably,” Takami nodded, blinking a couple times before realizing that he still had his goggles on. He removed them, placing them in his jacket on the table in front of your couch, “I’m probably imposing-”

“Never! It’s so cool to see how far you’ve come, Takami, even if we weren’t super close back in Uni,” You exclaimed, and his breath hitched. Boy did he wish he knew you better in Uni…

🌪Hawks was suddenly conscious of his hair. It was all over the place - and your own was quite obviously styled. Wait - did you just push it back to tease him? He felt his body grow hotter… That damn nerd from his old school was sitting in front of him, laughing his cute little ass off at Hawks’ horrible jokes.

“I had started a pot of rice before you arrived, you can stay for dinner if you like,” He didn’t like how narrow your sly eyes were when you suggested that. You were so tantalizing that he had to stop himself from literally ruffling his feathers.

“I’d love that, heroing is hard work.”

🌪He never thought the day would come that the annoying geek from Uni’s mouth would look so inviting. Did you keep the chopsticks between your teeth when you laughed because you knew he was staring? He hoped that was the case, because he wasn’t about to stop. Hadn’t you had braces? They were definitely gone now, and your entire face was just enticing him…

🌪You could definitely tell Takami was attracted to you. You had run into another old peer from High School and they blatantly commented on your improved physique and looks. You had put a lot of effort into them over the last few years, and you were glad that they paid off. Finding out that an old classmate was now the No. 3 Pro Hero and was practically drooling for you was another achievement you were quite proud of.

🌪He had taken his jacket and goggles off, his gloves soon following. His wind-blown hair seemed all too perfect to run your hands through, but you didn’t quite remember if your peer was attracted to men or not. He was popular with the girls ever since he was in Uni, but had he ever went after one? Not that you remember. You listened to him talk about his latest mission with wide eyes and fascination, and he continued to beef up the story until it sounded fantastical, obviously trying to impress you. You’d never seen him so flustered, his voice shaking a bit and his eyes fleeting.

🌪So you took a leap of faith and called him out on it, “Takami,” He paused, his eyes immediately looking to your own across the dining table, “Are you nervous?”

“Ah shucks, you caught me. Well come on, you know you’re hot, right?” Your heart fluttered. That was so upfront, and your cheeks flushed as you smiled to yourself.

“Thanks, I was beginning to think you just wanted to leave,” Your smile formed into a smirk, and you rested your chopsticks against your teeth as your tongue stuck out. You cocked as eyebrow as his obvious strain to not look at your lips.

“I kinda like it here. You know,” You hummed to let him know you were paying attention as he took another mouth full of rice, “My person motto is that I think heroes should be able to relax and have leisure time.”

“Hmm?” He nodded at your inquiry, and you chuckled deeply, “You don’t seem very relaxed. I could help you with that,” He quite obviously was gawking now, his cheeks flushed and sweat beginning to gather on his brow.

“Really?” His voice was hoarse, and you ended up laughing as he looked away from you, realizing how needy he sounded. You twirled a chopsticks between your fingers, then glanced at the man’s lap, eyes wandering back up to his wanton eyes, “Yeah…” He trailed off, his small pupils now fully blown.

🌪To say the least, Takami’s dinner snack was long forgotten. Once you had gotten up, slowly stalking around the table toward him, he was like putty for you. You took his hand, and he followed you anxiously to your bedroom. You had exceptional taste in style, your bed being plush as he fell back into it. He leaned up, and you cocked an eyebrow, “Finally found a shred of dignity?”

“Never, but I can’t be on my back,” He ruffled his wings, and you rolled your eyes, leaned down to place a caste kiss on his lips that left him breathless, “Fuck,” he whispered.

🌪He remembered being compared to an angle one time in bed. Sweet, flustered, but never submissive enough to back down from a fight. You ended up straddling him, and the blood that was left in his body travelled to his groin. His back was against the headboard, and you were ravaging the hero’s pride by leaving love bites down his neck, his lips swollen from a long, deep make out session, “Where did this… Even come from?” He had to gather his scrambled thoughts together.

“I had expected you to take the lead, but this was just too easy,” He relished in the purr that escaped your lips, and he took a deep breath. You pulled back, looking at your work with smug pride, “Beautiful.”

“Don’t underestimate me, (F/N), I’ve been known to bite back.”

🌪His own love marks were less intense than your own, his touch less rough and more calculated. He had flipped you positions, but you obviously still held the reigns. You were just too much for him to wrangle. You pulled his hips against your own, grinding into him. The gasp that escaped his lips sent shivers down your arms: This was happening. You were going to fuck the pretty boy from Uni.

🌪“We still have a lot of clothes on,” You ran a hand down his chest, and some form of a coo came from him. You gave him an incredulous look, and his cheeks darkened.

“I can’t control the sounds I make, (F/N),” You cackled, ordering him to take his shirt off. He obliged, and you made sure to leave a few marks along the way as you removed your own top. Both of your bulges were now straining against your pants, threatening to pop a button.

“It’s cute. I wonder if I can pull another one out,” You teased, and the awkward, flustered smile you got back confirmed that you were going to pull many noises out of this hero. Your hands travelled down to his belt as you planted another kiss on his lips.

“You’re so different than I remember,” He whispered, and you nodded slowly as you undid his buckle, pulling the belt out and inspecting it. His eyes followed your own down to it.

“I am,” You ran a hand along the buckle, “Every been hit with this?” Your eyes snapped back to his own. The bewildered look he had confirmed that he hadn’t, and you threw the leather behind his neck, pulling him close to your lips, “Maybe next time,” You bit his bottom lip, then tossed the belt off of the bed. At this point you were just torturing the man.

🌪You both had to get out of your pants before one of you went insane. You opened your nightstand, pulling out the bottle you hadn’t expected to use and a condom. You held them up to his face as he was yanking a shoe off. He looked to them, then you, “Nice size.”

“Oh,” You chuckled, forgetting that the size of the condom was labelled.

“Definitely for you, though,” He glanced at his own boxers that were still on, “I can take it.”

“Cute,” You were waiting on him, and he could tell. You pulled your own underwear off, and his eyes travelled to your length. You could see him chewing on the inside of his cheek, and you hooked a finger into the elastic of his boxers, laughing, “C’mon, embarrassed? I’m sure you’ve done this a million times.”

“I’m not a player, contrary to popular belief,” He crossed his arms, and you gave him a cocked eyebrow.

“I’ve heard otherwise,” You pulled his boxers down an inch, and he seemed nervous, “Are you… sure?” You held the condom up once again, “You can back out if you want, I won’t hold it against you.”

“I’m just remembering how you used to be. I thought you were going to be some weird scientist with warts when you grew up,” He laughed dryly, and you gasped, grinning.

“Oh really? I’ll fuck that expectation away, I promise,” You threatened, “C’mon, if you’re going to take me, you gotta be prepared,” You swore he cooed once more, nodding. You pulled his boxers down to see his semi-erect length, and he stepped out of them obediently.

“Yeah, alright, yeah,” His voice was practically shaking. You put a hand under his jaw, pulling him toward yourself. He followed immediately, and you felt a wave of dominance fall over you. Most heroes would feel shameful being so submissive, but this boy practically held pride in it. You were going to love this.

“Let’s start.”

275 notes · View notes

megalony · 4 years

Text

She’s a good girl

This is my new murderer! Ben Hardy series that was requested by the lovely @peterquillzsblog thank you for the request, I hope you all will like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg

Murderer! Ben masterlist

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) is a good girl from a church-going family and her brother, Joe is trying to put Ben behind bars. But when (Y/n) starts to fall for the dangerous killer, things get complicated.

Enjoy.

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"Joe!" The surprise in (Y/n)'s voice was evident but the smile on her face showed it was not an unhappy surprise to find her eldest sibling sitting at the small dining table in the back room. With the odd shifts he worked, Joe tended not to tell them whenever he was coming round, he just turned up unannounced but always welcomed with open arms.

"(Y/n), hey I didn't know you were here." Joe spoke as if he temporarily forgot that (Y/n) still lived here with their parents but she knew what he was referring to. He thought she would be out somewhere with friends or at the cinema or just somewhere doing something. It never seemed to dawn on Joe that he had more freedom than she did because he didn't live at home anymore and he had a demanding job.

"Where else would I be?" (Y/n)'s voice was tender and there was a smile on her lips that showed she was trying to make a lighthearted joke when in fact her heart was weighing heavy in her chest.

When her arms wrapped around Joe, it made the pain in her chest subside until she almost forgot it was there entirely.

(Y/n) knew she was much better off than some people and her life was by no means horrid or gruelling, but it could be oppressive at times. She was the daughter of a Reverend and her mother was highly respected so it fell to her to make a good example and be a good and respected girl. Being the youngest also seemed to put more pressure onto (Y/n), like she had to live up to everybody in her family and try to be the best.

She helped her mother around the house, as per her mother's request, she helped her father with church events and making pamphlets and setting up the church ready for sermon on Sunday's. When family friends came round they awed and smiled at her like she was ten years old and they treated her like a little girl.

It made (Y/n) want to be rebellious, it made her want to go out without telling anyone and stay out late or all night. It made her want to have secrets of her own that she wouldn't tell anyone.

(Y/n) had no secrets.

She had no place to go that was her own, her parents always knew where she was when she went out and she came home at the stated time. She was the model child that she was tired of being now. Even Cora, her elder sister, wasn't this oppressed by their parents. But then again, Cora was going out with a lawyer and their parents deemed that as very good and he was 'respectable' so Cora was given more leeway and the benefit of the doubt.

Joe was a police officer and he worked hard and was good at his job so he was excused from everything. He wasn't obliged to come home on Wednesday for dinner like he used to when he went to college. He wasn't obliged or forced to go to church on Sunday or come home for Sunday lunch and dinner because of his work.

(Y/n) envied him so badly and the worst thing was that he didn't even know how lucky he was.

"What are you up to?" (Y/n) looked over Joe's shoulder, trying to be inconspicuous and not let him see how curious she was being. 'Curiosity killed the cat' (Y/n)'s mother would always say, but for (Y/n), 'satisfaction brought him back'.

Her eyes zoomed in on the brown paper file that was sitting almost untouched on the dining table. She couldn't see what papers were held within the file, but she knew enough to know that this was a personal file that was most likely about a criminal Joe was trying to catch. (Y/n) knew her brother all too well and when he was assigned someone to bring to justice, Joe stopped at nothing until he got them.

"I've got the afternoon off so I thought I'd come round, mum's been nagging me to come for dinner." Joe pulled back form the hug and leaned against the chair he had previously been sitting on, looking like he forgot there was a file behind him.

"Been busy at work?"

"God, I'm so close, (Y/n). There's this guy I've been after for weeks, he's the worst kind of guy to put in prison, there's never any evidence to put him away and he knows it. I can't figure him out but I know I'm this close to catching him." There was a yearning in Joe's voice as he pinched his index finger and thumb together to show just how close he felt he was to getting this man.

(Y/n) knew Joe couldn't tell her any details about whoever he was searching for but the passion in her brother's voice made her hopeful that this would work out in his favour.

"Joey, could you come here a minute?"

A smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips as she shared a look with her brother, no matter how many times he told their mother he wanted to be called Joe, she insisted on calling him Joey like she had done since he was a baby.

(Y/n) watched her brother walk out of the room and turn left to go into the bite size kitchen to find their mother. No matter how crude, inconsiderate or annoying their mother could be, Joe was always as sweet as sugar with her. He could do no wrong in her eyes and he always had the magic affect on her to calm her down. If she rowed with (Y/n) or Cora, Joe would diffuse the situation completely.

Pressing her lips into a thin line, (Y/n) leaned to look into the kitchen to make sure Joe was occupied and wouldn't be back any second before she cautiously moved over to the table. Her stomach buzzed with anticipation when she walked closer to the table until she was within reach of the file resting there. She knew she shouldn't, she knew it was wrong and against the rules and (Y/n) was a rule follower, not a rule breaker.

But she was so tempted. Just a sneak peek, just to see what kind of man Joe was after and what he had done. (Y/n) hadn't met a criminal before and she wanted to know what kind of people her brother helped to put away.

When her fingers skimmed over the file, (Y/n) felt like she was going to burn at the touch for how wrong this was, but she persevered and slowly pulled open the file. She knew she couldn't mess with the orders of the pages or scatter them on the table or Joe would chide her and get mad with her for even attempting to read the file he mistakenly left out fir her pleasure.

The first thing she noticed was a picture clipped to the left hand corner of the first page. It looked like a photo from a distance, it wasn't a mugshot but then again Joe had said they didn't manage to arrest this man. He didn't look how (Y/n) thought a murderer would look, this man was almost normal. He was very tall, he seemed to be muscular, he was well-shaven and had a sharp jawline, he had hair that was rather long on top and formed into waves and he had the most enticing eyes (Y/n) had ever seen.

She could feel her hand shaking when she cautiously reached out to lift the picture so she could read the first page.

The list seemed never-ending.

Murder, at least five counts that they knew of which he had never been convicted for. Blackmail on what seemed to be a very large scale, public violence, threatening behaviour, money laundering that he was actually caught for but somehow didn't get more than two months in prison for. GBH on numerous accounts but each time the victim backed out of testifying against him.

This man owned a boxing club and gym but Joe had written a question mark next to this and (Y/n) could faintly read his scribbled handwriting that said 'a front?' Maybe things were happening at the club that Joe couldn't explain or seemed dodgy.

(Y/n) dared to see what other pages were in this file and the first handful were victims. Some were postmortems, others were hospital records showing what he seemed to have done to people, broken ribs, broken nose, fractured and splintered arms and legs, shot in the kneecap, shot in the lung, broken sternum, pulled tendons and torn ligaments.

Looking back to the first page (Y/n) scanned over the information to find this man's name. Ben Hardy. That didn't sound like the name of a killer, it seemed rather pleasing to the ears.

When footsteps caught (Y/n)'s attention she quickly closed the file and took a few steps away, turning herself to face the bookcase up against the wall behind the door to hide what she had just witnessed. His name kept rattling around in her head and the list of his crimes were so horrid and long but it shocked (Y/n) that they had all the information of his crimes but he was hardly punished for any of them. He certainly got away with a lot.

This man killed people, he hurt whoever he liked, he threatened and blackmailed them to carry on doing what he wanted and he evaded the police at every turn. His life was something (Y/n) could barely comprehend or imagine after the sheltered life she had lived and the way she had been brought up. (Y/n) couldn't see how someone could ever turn out like that.

He was the total opposite of her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fresh air hit (Y/n) like a wave rolling over the sand, it consumed her lungs until she felt like they were going to explode. The church was a sanctuary for many, it was a safe place to sit or hide or confess or just try and wait for a premonition or a sign. When (Y/n) was little, the church was a castle she wanted to explore but at the same time was far too afraid to drift from the alter or stand from the aisles once she was sat down.

There was never any need for (Y/n) to confess, she hadn't any crimes or worries weighing down on her for that. She didn't need sanctuary nor a safe place and she wasn't waiting for a sign. The church wasn't a hiding place or a second home to (Y/n) but it was her habitat for an hour every Sunday and for a while during the week when need be.

Every Sunday, eleven o'clock without fail, (Y/n) could be found in the second row on the left hand side, listening to her father recollecting a different story from the bible, giving his thoughts about a certain topic in a speech and reciting hymn numbers to them all to sing. Sunday sermons were an instinct and a habit ever since (Y/n) had been born, it was her way of life but sometimes she still felt that she didn't truly understand or appreciate it enough. On days when the world was tough on her, the sermons were a blessing. On days when she wanted to explore or find herself or do something, they were a drag that she couldn't escape from.

But today her mind wasn't able to focus on what her father was saying and she knew he noticed she wasn't singing along with all the hymns either. Being able to escape the beacon that was the church and feel the fresh air made (Y/n) feel somewhat faint after being in the musty air of the church that was suffocating.

Smoothing down her usual baby blue dress that she wore to church, (Y/n) walked over to the willow tree in the church ground and perched herself on the brick wall separating the grass verge from the pavement.

Her father would still be tidying up, collecting the papers and any donations, then he had to tidy the alter and get changed which took roughly twenty minutes that (Y/n)'s mother spent gossiping with friends. Joe was at work so he wasn't here for (Y/n) to talk to and Cora was yapping away with her friends. When everyone was ready, they went back home and had their usual Sunday lunch, and then (Y/n) helped her mother make Sunday dinner.

Sunday's were the most calming day of the week but they did drag and they made (Y/n) feel uneasy but she didn't quite know why.

(Y/n) let her eyes wander her surroundings, she could see her house from here. With her father being the Reverend, they automatically had a house as close to the church as they could manage and that was daunting to (Y/n), growing up so close to a place of worship that everyone said was a house of God. Like God really lived there and any sin she committed, any act she made, would be seen and judged by the being himself.

A shudder ran down her spine at the thought and her hand absentmindedly reached up to touch the small golden cross pendant hanging around her neck. Just as her hand touched the pendant, something caught her eye and her head leaned to the side, her eyes narrowing to focus on what moved in the corner of her vision.

It was him.

It was the man Joe was so close to catching, the one he was hell bent on taking to court and locking away in prison and throwing away the key. It was the man who had committed unspeakable crimes that haunted Joe in the middle of the night.

She was sure her face didn't resemble any panic or fear but she had caught his eye, maybe with the way she was staring in his direction. It felt like the world had slowed down around her and she watched him approach her in slow motion.

(Y/n) could hear his dark black shoes clicking against the pavement like horse shoes clobbering on the cobbles. He wore a plain white cotton shirt that covered his shoulders but exposed the rest of his arms to her view and he wore brown trousers with matching chocolate brown braces secured on his shoulders. He had a symbol on his right arm that didn't make any kind of shape that (Y/n) was familiar with yet it enticed her vision so much. He had Roman numerals, one on each knuckle on his right hand but (Y/n) couldn't see what numbers they represented.

The stranger- the killer, has shorter hair than he did in the picture she had seen in Joe's file, his hair was sticking up but it curled very slightly at the ends near his forehead. His green eyes were sparkling but the light caught the darkness of his pupils rather than the colour of his iris'. And his lips, (Y/n) had never seen lips that were such a dark shade of red with swirls of pink etched into the middle.

The way she seemed to be staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers made him grin and his smile was not normal. It wasn't sinister or crooked like a murder's smile should be, but it wasn't as kind or concerning or genuine as a humble man's should be. His smile was sweet, it was sickly sweet like chocolate with far too much sugar added into the mix. He was the cat that was eyeing up the cream.

How could such a dashing and seemingly respectable man be a killer?

"Hello." His voice was calming like the sound of the sea calmly lapping at the shore or at the sides of boats it was guiding to their destinations.

"Ben."

As soon as the name passed through her lips, (Y/n) bunched her hand into the hem of her dress, feeling like she had just spilled a secret to someone who should not find it out. She surprised the man towering over her, the smile didn't fade from his lips but there was a look of caution in his eyes as he wondered how she could know his name when they had never met before. He would remember a pretty face like hers.

"Now I'm very sure that if we met, I'd remember a lovely lady like yourself... so how do you know my name?" Ben stuffed his hands into his pockets, leaning his side against the brick wall the girl was sitting on, looking at him like she had just hurt him or told some kind of revelation to him.

His words were kind and his tone was reassuring, but there was something behind his voice and his carefully chosen words that made (Y/n) cautious. It was like he was throwing her a lifeline and she had to take it, she couldn't go against him or lie. She felt like she was trapped and he was offering her a way out... or maybe he was putting her into the trap.

"I... um, I think my brother knows you."

What was she doing? She was conversing with a criminal- a murderer, no less. If Joe was here at church right now and he saw this he would scold (Y/n) until she had third degree burns. He would be yelling at Ben to step away from his baby sister, he would find a means to arrest him right here, right now. If (Y/n)'s mother or even her sister saw her talking to a stranger they would be wary and tell her off.

But somehow, (Y/n) couldn't find it in herself to walk away.

"Does he now, who is he? I should ask him why he never told me he had a sister." (Y/n) couldn't fathom why he was talking to her, he was leaning so close to her so casually like it was nothing, he was smiling at her like she was the only person here worth talking to. He was taking some kind of interest in her when he had no need. How could this man be a murderer?

"I should go... h-he won't like me talking to you." (Y/n) tipped her head down to face her shoes, biting her lip so hard she could feel blood.

What was happening to her? Here she was, talking to a murderer without feeling afraid of him, instead she felt pulled to him, intrigued by him and fascinated, wanting to get closer. Yet when she tried to do the right thing and force herself to push him away, she ended up sounding like the child everyone was making her out to be.

(Y/n) wanted to be seen as a grown up, she was eighteen, she could go out and drink, she could drive, when she had the money she wanted to get her own place to live just like Joe. She wanted to meet people and talk to them without supervision or being told it was wrong or she was too young. (Y/n) wanted to make her own choices, she wanted to have a boyfriend and go out and do what she pleased without her family telling her what to do.

"What's so bad about me, lovely lady? Do you have to run everything past this brother of yours, or can you bend the rules just a little, for me?" Ben ducked his head down until he could look at (Y/n) properly since her head was bowed down.

His gentle yet somewhat cheeky smile made (Y/n)'s heart jump and when she lifted her head to look up at him, her breathing stopped when his thumb reached out to smudge away the blood on her lower lip.

"He's a policeman, officer (Y/l/n). But I guess he doesn't have to know everything."

(Y/n) could see the realisation dawn on Ben's face showing that he must have had quite a few run-ins with Joe. But instead of Ben retreating, pulling away or even becoming angry or hostile now that he knew who she was related to, he simply smiled. It didn't seem to bother him that (Y/n) was related to an officer trying to get him put in prison. A small part of (Y/n) wondered why Ben wasn't leaving, she could be trying to get information on him for all he knew, but then again, Ben had been the one to approach her.

"Does this lovely lady have a name?" Ben watched the way (Y/n) looked behind them at the church and the sea of people that were hovering around like bees. She was checking no one was watching or noticing. Stuffing his hand into his pocket, Ben pulled out a cigarette and a deep red lighter. He placed the smoke between his lips before motioning to the lighter. "Do you mind?"

(Y/n) noticed how he could speak almost perfectly despite the cigarette between his lips. Her head nodded to confirm that it was fine if he smoked around her, she had friends who smoked but had never had the privilege herself, her parents deemed it was not a habit she should pick up and so she never did.

When she watched the smoke pass through his lips and the way his perfectly round lips moulded around the stub of the cigarette, (Y/n) almost lost herself in thought until his head dipped down to look at her better again and he smiled around the cigarette.

"(Y/n)..."

"Do you wanna try it? I won't tell him if you won't." For a moment, Ben could see his words confused (Y/n) until he removed the smoke from his lips and held it out towards her. He could see the way she was watching him take drags and bite the end between his teeth, she was wide-eyed and enamoured by such a trivial habit. He could also see she thought he meant Joe for a moment until his eyes darted upwards and showed he meant he wouldn't tell 'the man upstairs', he wouldn't tell God if she didn't in case she wasn't smoking in fear it would be a sin.

(Y/n) flitted her eyes between the cigarette and Ben until he cracked a grin when he understood. He was hunching his shoulders over and leaning his head down so they could be level but she knew if she stood up, she would be even smaller than he was. Ben put the cigarette back to his lips and inhaled deeply, breathing the smoke into the air before he held it out to her.

His eyes watched the people around the church like he was keeping watch and they were committing a crime.

She gingerly took the bad habit from his fingers, trying to hold it between her thumb and index finger in the same way he did before she brought it to her lips. (Y/n) didn't take a long drag, just inhaled a small amount and tried to hold it in her lungs. She could feel the nicotine and smoke battling around in her lungs for the first time and it made her chest shiver in wonder. When she breathed the smoke into the air, her lungs quivered and she coughed quietly but still smiled all the same.

It wasn't as bad as her mother always made it out to be, it didn't even burn her lungs like she thought it would.

"Thanks." (Y/n) breathed quietly as she handed the smoke back over to Ben who took it gratefully, grinning like the Cheshire cat when he realised a small lipstick stain was left at the end.

When the growing chatter reached her ears, (Y/n) turned her head to look over her shoulder and noticed that her mother was getting ready to go inside the church again. That meant her father would be ready to go home in a minute. She couldn't help the sigh that passed through her lips when she realised she would have to go back home to a boring Sunday lunch, then prepare for a boring Sunday afternoon and evening, just like every other week that had happened all her life.

"Why the long face, doll?"

"I need to go home in a minute." (Y/n)'s tone told Ben that she didn't want to go and that made a sense of pride swell in his chest. She was talking to a complete stranger and he guessed she knew he wasn't the saint she should be looking for, and she didn't want to leave.

"Well, I'll be walking past this spot tomorrow at one o'clock if you think you can disappear for a while."

"Disappear, with you? I don't know if that would be wise, I mean, I've heard things." (Y/n) looked up at Ben through her lashes, letting a small smile form on her lips when he seemed to think she was being serious. It was an offer she knew she wouldn't refuse, no matter how badly her mind was telling her that it wasn't a good idea to fraternise with the man her brother was determined to arrest.

If Joe got his way, this would end badly for her and Ben- if anything even came of this. But if Joe found out, (Y/n) would face more than a lashing from her brother for this, her whole family would be against her.

But this was (Y/n)'s life, she could take the risk.

"Don't believe everything you hear about me, doll." The words were whispered against the shell of her ear and Ben could feel her shivering against him.

A gasp escaped (Y/n)'s lips when she felt the lightest, gentlest of kisses pressing against the junction between her neck and jaw so light that it felt like butterfly wings caressing her skin. (Y/n) had never been kissed there before- Hell, she'd never been kissed at all, but something about the feeling was intoxicating. One moment the butterfly wings were fluttering against her and the next they were gone, just like that. Her eyes were as wide as planets as they followed Ben, watching him pull away from her with a grin that made her stomach flip before he started walking past her.

"Until tomorrow."

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #imagine #BoRhap #joe mazzello #joe mazello imagine #murderer! ben #shes a good girl

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hermannsthumb · 4 years

Note

Nsfw prompt: The boys go for a swimming hall (Hermann finds swimming best form excercise for his leg) and Newton gets a bit handsy beneath the water.

im really in the mood for a prompt like this, i just got a nice ole (unused lol) pool off eb*y and i can’t wait to swim.....

18+/not SFW under cut

———————–

The thing about Hermann is that–no matter how often he and Newt argue, or how often he snaps at Newt, or criticizes Newt, or tells Newt to bugger off, or acts like a generally cold, unfeeling jackass–he’s still Newt’s best friend, which means Newt has a vested interest in getting into his business whenever at all possible. It’s what best friends are for, you know–having someone to always know your business. Newt always makes sure Hermann knows his business.

Anyway. Every Friday, without fail, Hermann will take a small, early dinner, clock out of the lab at 7:30 p.m. sharp, and speedwalk off down the hallway in the opposite direction of where his quarters are, a small tote bag in hand. Every Friday, without fail, Newt will ask where he’s going. Every Friday, without fail, Hermann will tell him to bugger off. It’s enough to drive anyone nuts with curiosity, let alone Newt in his official best friend status.

“What I’m trying to say,” Newt says, “is that you drove me to this.”

He doesn’t know why Hermann’s acting so weird about it all and, like, trying to cover himself up. It was only natural for Newt–after weeks of being told to bugger off–to finally just followed Hermann out one Friday and got his answers for himself. And boy, is he glad he did.

“I didn’t even know we had a swimming pool!” he exclaims happily. “Does anyone else come here?”

Hermann continues to shield his body with his towel. Again, weird–he’s in a bathing suit, it’s not like he’s naked. And it’s not like it’d be weird even if he was naked. Newt’s seen him naked more times than he can count, and Hermann’s seen him naked just as much in turn. Lot of lab accidents, you know. (Most of which are Newt’s fault.) “N-not that I know of,” he coughs out. He breathed in a decent amount of water when Newt flung open the door and starting shouting, so Newt guesses he’s still recovering. “I imagine it was once part of the rangers’ gymnasium, but–it’s not as if there are enough of them left to warrant it being, er, exclusive. Newton–”

Newt begins to take off his shirt. “You have access to the rangers’ gym?”

“Not strictly speaking, no,” Hermann says, “but no one in LOCCENT ever uses decent passcodes on their computers, and– Newton, what are you doing?”

“Undressing,” Newt says.

“I can see that,” Hermann says. “Why?”

“What, you thought I wasn’t going to swim in the super awesome private pool you hacked yourself credentials for?” Newt says. He kicks off his boots, and his socks and jeans and glasses follow. Boxers stay on–he doesn’t want to give Hermann a heart attack. “Okay, look out!”

“Technically, hacking isn’t--wait, no,” Hermann says, eyes widening in alarm, “no, no–!”

Newt does a cannonball into the deep end: the resulting wave drenches Hermann and his towel, which he finally throws aside and to scowl at Newt. “I think that was a ten out of ten,” Newt says happily. He splashes over to Hermann and settles in against the wall next to him. The water is warmer than he thought, which is nice. “So this is where you go every Friday night? You swim?

“Yes,” Hermann says through gritted teeth. “I find the exercise is good for my leg, and I like the quiet. Will you leave me alone now?”

“Nah,” Newt says. “It’s kinda dangerous to swim without a buddy, dude. I’ll be doing you a favor if I stay.” He stretches out his limbs and tosses his arm around Hermann’s shoulders. “You know, I haven’t been swimming in years. My dad used to take us to the beach a bunch when I was a kid, but we stopped when I started college, and it wasn’t like we could have a pool at the apartment, and...”

Hermann shakes him off. There’s a faint pink blush across his cheeks. “Yes, that’s all very fascinating. At least keep to the other bloody side, won’t you?”

Newt grins. “Why?”

“I said I come here for quiet,” Herman says.

Newt mimes zipping his lips shut and throwing away the key. “You won’t even know I’m here.”

They don’t exactly keep to separate sides of the pool, but they do their own things to the extent that they may as well be: Hermann does a series of calm, even laps around the edge, while Newt entertains himself with attempting underwater handstands (he fails) and perfecting his backflip off the edge (he fails those, too, though his cannonball remains tried and true). He’s paddling over to the ladder for yet another try at a backflip when Hermann suddenly grunts, loudly, in discomfort.

Newt turns quickly, snatching his glasses up and cramming them back on. “Hermann?”

Hermann–face screwed up, eyes shut tight–has one white-knuckled grip on the side of the pool, the other on his left thigh. “Cramp,” he hisses through his teeth. “Bugger. No, it’s fine, don’t bother–”

But he goes easily when Newt guides him to the steps of the pool, and he doesn’t let go of Newt’s shoulder until he’s seated down comfortably. Newt hovers, anxiously, over him. “Are you good?” he says. “Do you need me to get your pain meds?” This sort of thing isn’t new for Hermann, and they’re both well-practiced in how to deal with it at this point (pain meds, sometimes a heating pad) but Newt can’t help but worry every time. Especially when they’re this far off from the lab and their bunks.

Hermann shakes his head. “It’ll pass,” he says. He stretches out his leg and begins to work his fingers up and down his muscles, letting out the occasional grunt of pain. “I just need–”

“Let me,” Newt says.

Hermann stares at him skeptically. Then he drops his hands. “If you’re sure,” he says, and leans back.

It’s awkward at first, with Hermann breathing and glaring over him, but–after five minutes of squeezing, and testing different levels of pressure–Newt finally settles into a rhythm, and Hermann’s hisses of pain give way to small, pleased groans. “That’s–yes,” Hermann sighs. His head tips back, giving Newt a perfect view of his long, elegant throat. “Perfect.”

Newt grins weakly. He’d make some smart-ass comment, too, but he seems to be forgetting more and more of his vocabulary with each little sound that slips out of Hermann’s mouth, and he doesn’t trust himself to not just start squeaking. It’s not even just those little sounds that are making Newt feel funny, actually–it’s Hermann’s half-mast eyelids, the dig of his teeth into his wide lower lip, the tensing and relaxed sagging of his body every time Newt finds a new spot to work in his leg. It’s–well–you know. Newt’s only human. The pool water is too warm to help stop things from getting weird, but at least Newt’s crouched down low enough to conceal anything unseemly. “Good?” he croaks out.

Hermann nods. His throat bobs as he swallows. “Mm. Little higher.”

Newt obliges. Twice, by accident, his fingers dip beneath the hem of Hermann’s swim trunks and skim over the soft skin of his inner thigh; when he does it a third time, he reels back, blushing to the tips of his ears. “S-sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean–”

He stops short when he notices the tenting in Hermann’s trunks, eye level with him now. He’s not sure how he missed it before. He’s not sure how Hermann–with his heavy eyelids and parted mouth–is missing it. “Hey, dude,” Newt squeaks.

It’s a natural biological response to physical stimuli. Nudity–hands on that nudity, massaging out tension and getting just a little too close to certain parts of the human anatomy–shit, Newt’s having the same problem himself! Hermann doesn’t mean anything by it. Nothing personal. “Hm?” Hermann groans.

You have a boner, Newt thinks. I’m turning you on, Newt thinks. But he doesn’t say either of those things: instead, with a show of courage he’s not sure he actually feels, he moves his hand overtop Hermann’s dick.

Hermann’s emits a strange, low keen; his eyes shoot open. “Newton?” he says. He sounds a little dazed. More important, though, he also sounds excited, and when Newt gently cups him through the thin layer of polyester, he splays his legs wider and keens again. “What are you doing?” he breathes.

Newt moves his hand up and down twice, slowly, getting a feel for him. Hermann grabs onto the edge of the pool. “Newton,” he says again, but it’s a moan this time.

This is all the encouragement Newt needs. He shuffles forward on his knees, lifting himself just enough from the water to pull himself from his own boxers, and--tentatively--touches Hermann’s hand. “Hey,” he says, “will--will you--?”

Hermann’s fingers are cold and kind of clammy, and definitely unpracticed, and he doesn’t do anything but grasp at Newt for a minute while Newt continues to rub the heel of his palm up and down Hermann’s dick. “What do you want me to do?” Hermann says. His voice is maddeningly husky--nothing Newt’s ever heard before. God. Since when has Hermann been sexy? Always, if Newt’s being honest, but he guesses there’s a thin line between thinking someone’s sexy and knowing, definitively, that they’re really fucking sexy.

“Whatever you want?” Newt says.

Hermann blinks at him. Then--leaning in and draping the bulk of his weight on Newt--he kisses Newt. Their chins bump together, and their teeth clack, and Newt was not expecting it, but it’s awesome, so he kisses back happily and rubs Hermann a little faster. He likes how Hermann’s dick feels. It’s not scary intimidating or anything, but it’s good and firm, and the sort of thing he could (eventually) see himself enjoying getting his mouth on. “Oh,” Hermann moans into his mouth, “oh, that's--Newton--”

His own hand begins to move on Newt. Fucking finally. “Yeah, that’s perfect,” Newt says, and then winces. “Okay, don’t squeeze so tight, that’s--that actually kind of hurts. Hermann.”

“Sorry,” Hermann pants. Is that how he usually jerks himself off? No wonder he’s so tense all the time. “Oh, oh, you’re very good at this.”

Newt grins against his mouth. “I know. Hey, you want me to--?”

He was planning on offering to use his mouth, because he’s getting more and more curious about how much he’d enjoy it (and he’s really good at using his mouth, and he knows Hermann would enjoy it) but--hips jerking erratically, kissing Newt hard enough to draw blood--Hermann suddenly cries out and goes still. “Holy shit,” Newt says. “Did you--?”

“Yes,” Hermann says, through deep, heavy breaths. His hand slips off of Newt; he slumps backwards. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Newt says. “That’s hot. Okay, I can finish myself, no sweat, just sit there and look pretty--”

He jerks himself off quickly, eyes roving all over Hermann and committing every goddamn inch of him like this to memory: his heaving, blush-pink chest, his blown pupils, his wide-open mouth, the obscene splay of his legs. The top of his dick, spent, but still a little pink, poking out over the waistband of his swim trunks. How his mouth felt on Newt’s. How the soft skin of his thigh felt under Newt’s fingertips. “Yeah,” Newt grunts, and he comes over himself.

He slinks back under the water, panting. The pool filter will take care of the mess. Probably. Anyway, it’s not like anyone but Hermann knows this place exists in the first place. “Newton,” Herman begins.

The gymnasium door swings open. Newt stuffs his dick back into his boxers in a flash. “Hey,” a ranger Newt recognizes only in passing says, as two of his equally tall and equally built friends loom in the doorway behind him, “what are you guys doing here?”

“Leaving?” Newt says.

He and Hermann hustle out as fast as they can, Newt not even bothering to put his pants back on first, Hermann’s towel flapping like a striped bird behind them. They stop three hallways away just long enough to catch their breath; then, grinning shyly at each other, they dissolve into laughter.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous #not sfw ////

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aardvaark · 4 years

Text

i wrote something similar to this in the tags of my most recent post basically but...

judy hale hc - childhood edition

thinking about the adults in judys life when she was a child. not the ones who neglected her - namely, her mother. the ones who were around, thought of her occasionally, wondered if she was alright.

1 the teacher who let judy stay after school for an hour, maybe two, because her mom hadnt come to pick her up yet. she saw a flash of embarrassment on the childs face, possibly, but didnt suspect its cause; judy would have known her mom was... well, away. that she wasnt coming because she hadnt come for about a week this time, but clearly today was the first time judy hadnt been able to slip away out the gate in the throng of parents and children, or escape to another exit around the back of the school.

she’d tried, but her teacher had asked her what she was doing, and there was no good answer to that question. maybe the teacher let her go after a long enough time, or called a grandparent or aunt/uncle or someone to pick her up. but the teacher stayed concerned, started checking that judy had food every day, made judy wait in the warmth of the classroom for her mom when she was late after school (well, at least on the days this teacher was on after-school pick-up duty), or waiting for anyone else who was taking her that day, usually arriving late, judy having to call them last minute.

the teacher doesnt mind staying late every so often for the kids sake. shes a polite, responsible, independent child, especially for her age. the teacher figures this is maturity. judy does have some trouble making friends, however, so the teacher tries to encourage her by sitting her next to a more outgoing but equally nice kid.

they also encourage judy to participate in community events when shes able to, even helping her to volunteer at the local nursing home despite her young age. she can read and talk to senior citizens there, and besides... the teacher has a feeling it will give her a sense of home.

2 the staff at the local library, just around the corner from judys house. judy has spent plenty of time there, reading to distract herself or as a form of escapism, but of course the librarian didnt know this. the staff like her - shes polite and quiet and very kind, she brings books back on time, she reads to the little kids on the weekends.

its unusual that her mom has never come here... judy spends most of her time in the library, and has never once been walked to or from the building by a parent. judy comes most days straight after school and stays late. she rarely has food, and often stays late enough that she must be missing dinners, but her mom never comes to get her, so everyone is under the assumption that her mom just reheats her food, and judy must have a snack on the way home from school.

however, it becomes clear that she definitely isnt having food since lunch when she becomes a bit faint one evening (little did they know that this day, she had forgotten to pack recess and lunch, and her breakfast had been half an apple on the way out the door. she had only realised at recess - and punched herself quietly in the bathrooms. she was so stupid). after that, they brought a bowl of sweets for the counter, just little chewy lollies and the like, so that she’d at least not get faint.

occasionally they offered her some food, which she tended not to accept until much later at night when she couldnt hide the growl in her stomach, but knew that going home meant being alone in the dark for another few hours. she tried to postpone cooking dinner until it was necessary for her to leave the safety and security of a public building like this library, and was eternally grateful that the staff often let her stay a little after hours.

once, one staff member got a call from judy’s school at about 4:30pm. someone had already commented that the girl was late, but maybe she was home sick today (although that had never happened before). a teacher had phoned them, but judy had quickly asked for the phone before the librarian could clarify that this was not someone’s house, but a library. judy sounded panicked on the phone, asking very apologetically if someone could straighten something out at the school. the librarian obliged - they’d known judy for years, and she had never asked a favour, yet participated in any and every event the library held, and the kid had sounded very worried - only to have judy run up to her saying “hello, auntie!” and be whisked away before they could converse with the teacher. they decided against bringing that odd moment up to the rest of the staff... but... it gave them a weird feeling...

3 a parent at judy’s school, who’s child sits next to judy in class. they knew her mother back in the day, when they were at school, but hasnt seen her in years. boy, was high school wild if you were in judy’s mom’s group of friends! but theres no way they’re gonna mention that to a child - stories about drugs and drinking, mostly, nothing appropriate for a kid to be exposed to. they, of course, dont know what judy is exposed to, and honestly, hearing stories from years ago would not nearly be an issue in comparison.

although judy hangs out with their own child, they’ve never seen judy’s mom at the school. they dont think much of this - many parents work, and she knows from talking to judy that eleanor hale is a single parent, anyway. judy lives near enough to the school that she is able to walk home. still, they often do choose to let judy sleep over when she says her mom is going to be home very... er, late... and they sometimes take judy home with them. their child is far more energetic and loud than judy, so they do think its a little odd that they want to hang out with her.

the parent asks their kid about that one time.

“she sits next to me!” is their response - these are quite young kids after all. sometimes friendship at that age is about proximity. but after a beat, they do add, thoughtfully, “my friends think im loud, and talk lots, and the best at sport in the whole grade - and i am! but judy thinks im nice.”

the parent doesnt forget that answer. they make sure to keep judy around from that moment onwards.

#dead to me #judy hale #dtm #dead to me meta #dtm meta #judy hale meta #eleanor hale #judy hale childhood #child neglect #child abuse #support #dead to me hc #dead to me headcanon #dead to me head canon #dead to me fic #sorry if this is incoherent #it lowkey hurt to write lol #i feel bad for her #send judy hale to therapy 2021

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writer-rochelle · 4 years

Text

Statesman: Ablaze Ch.2: Off the Grid

(a/n: here is chapter 2 of the one thing im super frickin proud of. thank you @pomelloe-me for bullying me in our shared google doc to make sure i get things done. ily <3)

“Can you leave the window down? My car smells like fucking fried chicken, and while it may be your fave food it's not mine.” Alicia said, shutting her car engine off. Pom chuckled, obliging her friend’s request. Both women stretched, their joints popping, as they clambered out of the small car and started their walk up the small driveway.

The Agents had opted to live as far away from the brewery as they could, wanting to make a safe and work free environment for them to escape to. It was a pale green 3 story victorian house with white accents, and a small front porch. Two white rocking chairs moved slightly in the wind, and a white porch swing on the far right end swayed with them. A black and white rip n dip doormat sat under a black double front door, the words "go away" floated next to a white cat flipping any visitors off. A purchase Pom had made while online shopping in the wee early hours of the night. One that Alicia and Dena had found rather hilarious and Carey had simply shaken her head.

“I’m gonna murder your boyfriend, he’s as dumb as a fucking rock, I swear it!” Alicia exclaimed, walking towards the front door of the shared home, twisting her head this way and that in a vain attempt to pop her still stiff neck. She could hear Pom curse at her under her breath. “What was that? Use your words miss ma’am” Alicia teased, knowing Tequila was a nuisance for Pom. He had been Alicia's friend first, and one-day on a whim she had invited them to a carnival accompanying the rodeo that was in town. Soon, the three of them were inseparable. Tequila however soon developed feelings for Pom, his endless pining no secret to anyone. The ex-rodeo clown meant well, and when he wasn't trying to convince the southern beauty to go two-stepping with him, the two got along very well.

“I said he ain’t my fuckin’ boyfriend,” Pom responded, she was frustrated but smiled all the same. She reciprocated the crush but put her job as a Statesman agent first. She refused to let anyone or anything jeopardize her career. The brunette removed the brown cowboy hat sitting on her head, using it to fan herself in the heat, waiting for Alicia to unlock the front door.

“Whatever you say!” Alicia sang, throwing the door open. Pom followed the woman into the entryway, shutting and locking the door behind her. The smell of delicious food wafted towards where the two girls stood, as they began dispensing the arsenal of personal weapons they had into their designated shelves in the entryway. Pom hung her hat on the hook on the wall next to the door. Alicia groaned, taking her box braids out of the ponytail she had forced them into, massaging her scalp.

"I don't know how you can stand having those things pulled back like that!" Pom said, emptying her pistols before placing them back in their holsters.

"Trust me, one I'm gonna shave my head, and I only kept them in because I spent so much on them for that one assignment. Why waste money? Carey Ann, is that your cooking I smell?" Alicia called, making her way further into the house. She paused a moment, kicking her shoes off in the mudroom off to the left.

“Yup! I’m in the kitchen, y’all! Make sure you leave your shoes in that mudroom, I just swept!”’ Carey called out to them from the direction of the kitchen.

Whatever she had been making since she had come home had made the house warm and cozy, the warmth of the oven lightly combating the aircon. Carey was the oldest of the four women living in that house. She had recently moved to New York, assisting Agent Whiskey in running the New York office. Occasionally, she would return to their humble abode in Kentucky. Most household responsibilities fell on her, their other roommate Dena had been away for almost a year on assignment in Europe seeking out an alleged brother agency. Usually, Pom and Alicia were left to their own devices, sticking to take-out orders, or the occasional soup and grilled cheese combo Alicia cooked up. It wasn't often Alicia or Pom cooked, let alone cleaned. It was nice to have their Agent Mom back in town.

Pom hastily unzipped the sides of her boots, sliding them off to reveal her cute space patterned socks, ‘The best feeling ever is taking your shoes off after a fuckin’ long day of work.’ she thought to herself. Pom’s hair stuck up in odd angles, no secret the hat that had been resting on her head all day. She combed her fingers through it, the brown tresses fell to her shoulders in thick, uncontrollable waves.

“It’s good to see you here, and not on a fucking screen, ma’am.” Alicia snooped through the pots on the stove, hungrily eyeing Carey’s homemade fried pork chops, mashed potatoes, and mac & cheese warming idly on the stove. Alicia only two kinds of southern cooking, her Grandma Beaulah's, and Carey's (a close second).

"Yeah, bitch. I thought you might have forgotten about us.” Pom called out from the living room, where she had placed herself comfortably down on the couch, flicking through something on her phone. She sighed, still no response from Whiskey. Had she upset him without realizing it? ‘Fuckin’ Whiskey, I wish he could’ve told me instead of ignoring me like a dumbass.’ she thought, shutting off her phone and tossing it to the other end of the couch.

“Well, if y’all acted 24 and 25 years old and not little children, you wouldn’t need me to come home to cook and clean for y’all. Dena hasn’t even been here and she still keeps her room clean!” Carey teased, swatting Alicia’s hands away from the food. Even if she had been present, Dena and Carey were definitely the neatest of the four. Carey had tried in vain to get the other two younger women to help, even going so far as to leave everything to pile up. It had taken a roach crawling across Alicia's face one night in her sleep to finally get them to step up. Now they kept a chore list on a dry erase board in the laundry room, and the katsaridaphobic agent no longer left dirty dishes in her room.

“Girl, they’re clean. And for the record, Pom and I do take care of ourselves! For example, I did all the laundry in the house and Pom got rid of that possum that was living in the roof. Perfectly responsible.” Alicia said smugly, giggling as Pom chimed in quietly from her spot on the couch about the ‘Cunt ass possum that tried to eat her fucking face even though she had given him a slice of ham as a fucking peace offering headass’.

“Pom, why don’t you come join us instead of mumbling with your colorful vocabulary from the couch; the food is ready.” Carey laughed, shaking her head at her roommate's antics. She grabbed the rolls out the oven, before removing her apron and oven mitts. She moved to pull a pitcher of sweet tea out of the fridge, and then stood back proudly to admire her work. Dinner was served.

“You sound like my fuckin’ mom,” Pom uttered as she hoisted herself up from the couch, making her way into the kitchen to wash her hands.

“I may as well be. But enough bickering, I missed y'all two!” Carey said, carrying her plate of food to the table where Alicia already sat eating.

“I’m not really hankerin’ for anything, but thanks, Carey. I love you…fuck head.” Pom told Carey with her unique version of affection, leaning against the island in the kitchen and removing her rusty-colored jacket from her body. Pom's jokes and colorful nicknames were her own brand of love, and while it was offputting the first time she called you something like "hoe bag", you learned to acknowledge the underlying "I love you".

“Well at least stay and sit with us, I’ve got something to tell y’all,” Carey said, patting the chair next to her. She needed to tell somebody about how she and Jack had recently started seeing each other. She figured he had already told Tequila, and felt justified in telling the girls. Pom sat down in the chair with a grunt after placing her jacket on the table.

“Oh do tell, this wouldn’t happen to do with a certain mustached cowboy would it?” Alicia batted her eyelids, and suggestively wiggled her eyebrows. Pom knew exactly what this conversation was going to lead to. She wasn’t a fucking idiot; she noticed every small exchange between Carey and Whiskey, it was just something she had an eye for. The two had known each other for over two years and had recently started to go out with each other seriously. It was a wonder they hadn't started fooling around sooner.

“W-well...about that” Carey giggled nervously, maybe she wouldn’t tell them after all.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Carey Ann! Are you fucking Ole Jack Daniels?!” Alicia exclaimed, pointing her fork accusingly at the shorter Agent. Pom couldn’t help herself from letting out a loud chuckle, moving her long legs to sit cross-legged on the chair.

“Alright, fine. Whiskey and I may or may not have been seeing each other exclusively for the past year while I’ve been back and forth from New York.” Carey said, casually taking a sip from her glass of tea, the clinking ice cubes being the only sound for a brief moment.

“I fuckin’ knew it!” Agent Rum pronounced with great amusement, looking over at Carey with a menacing smile.

“YAS BITCH, OH MY GOD! Tell us everything, and I do mean everything!” Alicia said, standing up and playfully pulling Carey into a noogie.

The girls laughed, Carey pushed Alicia back into her chair before smoothing out her blonde curly hair. Carey was glad that the girls hadn’t reacted negatively like she thought they would. She had missed this comradery with the girls while staying in New York; she leaned forward fully retelling everything that had been happening. It was nice to finally be home.

* * * * *

Pom Graham was awake earlier than the rest of her housemates, as usual. Most nights she would stay up until midnight listening to her favorite kinds of music and trying to gain motivation to do her beloved hobby of painting. But she never slept for long as her natural body clock woke her up just a few short hours after she fell asleep. Still, she was always filled with so much energy.

Pom tip-toed out of her room and down the flight of stairs in hopes of not waking her friends. She was already dressed in her usual outfit that the others rarely saw her out of. The living space downstairs was decorated with rustic, but comfortable furniture and pots of greenery scattered around. Photographs and posters could be found on the walls.

She threw herself on to the couch in front of the large, technologically advanced television. With a press of a button on the remote, the screen came to life with the morning news channel. ‘Boring.’ Pom thought, ‘Carey must have been watching it last.’

“The daughter of beloved Kentucky senator, Xavier Dobios, is still missing and it’s sending everybody into quite the state of distress…..” Said the monotone voice of the news reporter on the TV. Pom scoffed at his words.

“Fuck off, ‘beloved my ass’” Pom returned in a sharp whisper, smiling with amusement. She clicked another button and the kid’s channel started to play. Pom never really liked to watch television, but when she did, she would always turn on the channel that entertained her most.

“Good morning, Pomegranate.” Came Carey’s sweet but groggy voice from the doorway leading into the kitchen. Carey was dressed in cute, pink pajamas and her hair was quite the mess. She let out a big yawn.

“Mornin’, you’re up early,” Pom responded, turning her head to give Carey a nice smile. Carey walked back into the kitchen to start preparing coffee and breakfast for herself and her housemates.

“What do you want for breakfast? And I know you don’t like coffee, so what do you want to drink?” Carey asked from the kitchen to Pom. She sat there thinking for a moment before answering.

“Peanut butter toast. And some water. Bless your heart, Carey.” Pom returned gently. Carey was surprised to see how calm she was. She was used to seeing the hot-tempered, mischievous, and swearing version of Pom. But she appreciated seeing this side to her too because Carey knew that’s who she really is. Pom never failed to make her laugh and smile.

Carey made food and coffee with the sound of Pom watching the kid’s channel playing in the background. Alicia probably wasn’t going to be awake for a few more hours but Carey poured her a cup of warm coffee just in case.

“I don’t know how you have so much energy all the time, Pom,” Carey said as she sat on the couch next to Pom, handing her the plate of peanut butter toast and a glass of water. She sipped on her own cup of coffee just the way she liked it.

“I’ve consumed so much fuckin’ sugar in my life that I’m constantly on a sugar high.” Pom joked to her friend, smiling. Carey laughed, the sound mixing the soft sounds of the old Victorian settling over them. It wasn’t often they got a morning to themselves, and they knew they’d have to head to work soon, but for now, HQ could wait.

“GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!” Alicia yelled, bounding in the kitchen shattering the quiet moment the girls had settled into with their breakfast. Carey and Pom sighed, watching as she effortlessly leaped onto the island in the middle of the kitchen. Her gray sweatpants slung low on her hips, her lilac sleep shirt wrinkled, and her braids still wrapped up in the bonnet on her head; she looked crazy.

“What in Sam Hill are you doing?!” Carey said, standing up and rushing to try and push the taller woman off.

“I have some good news, bitches! Dena’s coming home sooner than we thought!” Alicia was elated, it had been almost two months since Agent Sangria had been in contact with Statesman, and more importantly her roommates. She had been advised to keep all communications, few and far in between. Should there be a brother agency, it would be in Statesman's best interest to not alert them of their presence in their territory; what if they were a rogue organization? The return of the lively Latina was definitely a cause for celebration.

“Wait, how do you know?” Carey asked, realizing that Alicia wasn’t budging off her pedestal. She looked over at Pom who looked just as puzzled as she was, no one had any recent contact with Dena. Everything had been dark. Pom got off the couch to get closer to them.

“Well, as y’all know, I spend most of my free time in the lab with Ginger. And I was able to create a concealable communication device!” Alicia said proudly, taking what looked like a normal bottle of concealer. But the girls knew better, Alicia was a crazy tech wiz and inventor. Her and Ginger both could put Tony Stark to shame.

“How does that shit even work… it’s fuckin’ makeup.” Pom questioned. She couldn’t remember the last time she had set foot in the lab, or the last time she wore makeup. Pom would rather be training and being troublesome with the male agents than behind a vanity or in a lab coat.

“Listen, I know it looks a little out of sorts but I promise it works! And the cosmetic part of the contraption is fully functional.” Alicia opened the packaging and did a swatch of the makeup on her arm. A perfect match.

“Say we can’t take any phones or even our glasses with us? Who’s gonna suspect a woman with a compact mirror and bottle of concealer? The idea is we use the idea of the fragile female that men have created against them. But my feminist spiel aside, I talked to Dena and she should be here by the end of next week!” Alicia got down from the counter, slipping her “concealer” into the front pocket of her black backpack.

Pom leaned against the counter as she smiled, "You’re a genius.” She said to Alicia softly.

“I’m no Ginger Ale, but I try! Also, I’ve been making a bat prototype for you in the lab! I meant to surprise you for your birthday but I can’t wait any longer.” Pom smiled at this. Alicia started to continue but paused. The Statesman designated ringtone grew louder from where it was playing on their tv. Well, duty calls.

The three agents made their way into the living room, Carey grabbing the remote from its spot on the ottoman. Once they had all settled themselves on the comfy couch, she pressed the answer button.

“Good morning, Angels!” Champagne greeted; the great window behind his head visible on the tv screen. It wasn’t uncommon for Champ to contact them while they were at home; saving more discreet missions for the four of them to take care of. It saved time, resources, and quite frankly more lives than if they were to send Whiskey, Tequila, or any of the other male agents instead. Hence the moniker, “Angels”.

“Good morning, Champ!” Alicia crowed, shifting to sling her legs across Pom and Carey’s laps making herself comfortable. Pom hastily grabbed Alicia’s feet from her lap and started to tickle them with no remorse, and her loud and mischievous laughs filled the room.

“Would y’all stop? Jesus Christ.” Carey said, pushing Alicia’s legs off the couch and inserting herself between her and Pom. “Sorry, Champ, continue please!” Carey said, turning her attention back to the man on the screen. Pom was holding back her laughter as best as she could.

“Well, when y’all are done horsing around, I have something for y’all to take care of. As you know, the senator is hiding his daughter trying to make it seem like she’s been kidnapped. Tonight, he is hosting a gala to impress some of the big wigs in the country and gain more support. I need y’all to infiltrate the gala and expose this sun’ a bitch before he can carry this tomfoolery on any longer.”

“Do I gotta dress all fancy and shit?” Pom asked, pulling her jacket tighter around herself. She had makeup, she hated dresses, and if she didn't hate her unruly hair getting in her face, she'd hate doing it too.

“I would prefer it if you did. The senator is very conservative, and has a strict dress code for this event.” Champagne said. Pom sighed angrily at this.

“Awe, c’mon, Pomegranate. I thought you liked playing dress up.” the screen expanded to show that none other than Agent Whiskey sat next to Champagne at the grand mahogany meeting room table.

“Whiskey!” Pom exclaimed with joy. A big grin was on her face now. She tucked her messy waves of hair behind her ears. Pom could feel her heart racing with pure happiness. Whiskey was the closest thing she had to a father, and she practically glowed in his attention.

“Howdy darlin’, you ready to join your old man on the dance floor?” Whiskey tipped his hat, grinning at the young agent.

The adopted father and daughter duo were the best partnership to come out of Statesman; Whiskey having taken Pom under his wing, saying that he saw himself in her. A troubled girl who needed a little guidance and TLC, and had unfathomable potential. Whiskey had promised Pom’s mother that he would ensure that the young woman would be taken care of while she was in the states. A promise that had been well kept.

“While I’m all for sappy reunions, I need you, girls, to get gussied up and make your way to that gala ASAP! I’m sending Whiskey to pick y’all up at 0800, We got a party to crash.” Champagne said, ending the video call.

Alicia stood and looked at her phone, an invitation addressed to a Penelope Vontrapp, and associates lit up her screen. “Well Miss Pom, or should I say Miss Penelope; it looks like you get to play the part of the daughter of some rich oil tycoon.”

“Fuck you, I’m not wearing any fuckin’ makeup!!” Pom said while jumping off the couch to sprint up to her room before the others could stop her.

“YOU’RE LUCKY THEY’RE MAKING A BIG DONATION IN YOUR HONOR! OTHERWISE, I’D BE FORCING YOU INTO A DRESS AND PUTTING SOME BLUSH ON THOSE CHEEKS!” Alicia shouted up the stairs, knowing that Pom was going to put on the same suede pantsuit she wore to all Statesman functions. It would be a cold day in hell before anyone forced her into a dress, and Alicia knew better than to even try and wrestle her into one.

“Will you curl my hair, please? May as well get some joy out of tonight.” Carey remarked, making her way up the stairs. Alicia noticed the sad air around her friend, she stopped reaching out to grab her friend's arm.

“What’s wrong? You were all chipper early, now you’re all….” Alicia made a fart noise with her mouth, hoping it would bring a small smile to her Carey’s face.

“It’s nothing, I promise. Just forget it, okay?” Carey pulled her arm away, continuing up the stairs. But it wasn’t really anything. Was it right for her to feel a little envious that Whiskey hadn’t acknowledged her? Had Champ told him something? Or was she just overthinking? Either way, they had a mission to focus on, and this worrying and pining could wait.

(a/n: thank you all for reading and standing by while i get in the swing of things. i now have a masterlist, and post with who and what yall can request will be coming soon. <3 roach)

#Statesman:Ablaze #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x oc #agent tequila x reader #agent tequila x oc #agent whiskey fic #oc fic #jack daniels #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal x reader #Pedro Pascal #kingsman golden circle #statesman

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headinclouds-universe · 5 years

Photo

Language - be warned.  

Not sure the ending will stay this way, it was supposed to go differently but Im running out of time at the moment to catch my next flight out. I own nothing but the idea, photos are not mine. Will check errors later like always.  

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“Oh My God!”, coffee sprayed mostly on the kitchen bench but Sansa could care less right now. Using a tissue nearby she light dabbed at the screen on her phone.

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck”, she cursed in a harsh whisper, scrunching the tissue and zooming in on the screen.

“Hey, you know I’d love to again but I’m going to need a little more energy sweetling”, hands grabbed her hips to pull her briefly to his chest and she barely felt him kiss her on the back of her neck before he squeezed her hips one more and left her to pour a coffee.

“Oh My God!”, panic set in her voice once again when her second glance really just confirmed her first thought. It was them alright. Well not really their faces but mostly Petyr’s body and of course his firm grab at her ass. Sansa sagged again the cold marble of the kitchen island and felt her heart beating out of her chest, one hand pressed to confirm and try to catch her breath.

“Hey, I’m not saying no…20 minutes tops. Enough to drink some coffee, eat breakfast and then I’ll be right back to eating you. You know I’ve never let you down be…”, Petyr had been still fiddling with the machine, shirtless and only in his briefs went he felt something hit him in the back. Petyr turned to find the tea towel on the floor and raised an eyebrow at Sansa. That was when he got his first look at her face, eyes wide with shock and slight frustration for his fail to notice the huge mess they were about to be in.

“Have you checked the social gossip page after last nights dinner yet?” she asked almost accusingly, like he should have, like whatever the issues was was all his fault already and he wasn’t even sure there was an issue yet.

“I have been rather busy you know, twice last night and early this morning I recall”, Petyr figured some light sarcasm and a reminder of the great sex last night (and this morning!) might sooth any worries she had. Honestly if there was any issues to be had it might have been that bloody dress she wore last night. It had turned more then a few heads, had him trying to keep his hands to himself and it had driven him crazy all night to the point that when they had left to head home he had taken her just outside the penthouse lift, they didn’t even get to his front door.

“Well Mr Baelish you might want to take a look at this because we… a… screwed!”, Sansa held up her phone in the air and he walked over for a closer look to hopefully help him understand what had her panties in a twist.

Well Fuck.

Petyr grabbed the phone out of her hand and examined it closer. Yep. That bloody dress. They had kept a respectable amount of distance in body at the gala but their eye fucking had been free and often all night. They hadn’t talked about going public with their ‘relationship’ but he had though to hint lightly on that subject. He wanted her to move in with him but there was no way that could make that happen without starting to come out, so to speak. He knew her parents were going to be a sore point for her, they would not take this well and Sansa was trying to avoid it all.

Well… that wasn’t going to be a problem anymore.

Sansa had been excited for the Gala and to cheer her spirits of them not being able to walk into the room on his arm and as a couple like she desperately wanted to do, she had kept her new dress hidden from him. Had hinted to him that he would be blown away, she had made it herself. Petyr knew she had talent and really, the girl could wear anything and she would be absolutely stunning.

He had arrived first and had been mingling per obligation at these galas, It was the same thing at these though. He had been in a circle with Oberyn and Elia, Renly and Loras had arrived to and Stannis had come along and they had ben discussing the latest news about the Lannister company scandal that was about to become public, they really were on borrowed time that family. When she had entered the room he had briefly noted Margery and Roslin by her side but them and everything else became so unnecessary. He was pleased to see Sansa had not been lying about that dress. Her hair was out in waves, makeup a little more then normal to suit the gala and he was enjoying the dark red lipstick. The dress was pure white and had a silk like quality and hugged her so so very well, she had really made it just for her. The top had sat rather higher then he thought it might, he figured she might go for plunging neckline and that had been the detail she was referring to when she said he would die when he saw it, she did have great breasts. Though that was not the surprise.

Sansa and the girls had made their way over and after around of air kisses and greetings (Sansa and Petyr had thought it would be weird not to greet each other this way too) Petyr had first been treated to her warm and smooth skin on her back. When she had leant in to say hello and kiss on the cheeks, he had briefly placed his hand on her upper back to reciprocate. He hadn’t been prepared for the skin to skin contact and was disappointed it had been brief. He had a feeling there was more to it. It didn’t take long until behind her, her father had called out from a short distance to come and meet and say hello to a work college. Sansa had excused herself from the group but had given him a knowing look before turning around.

And there was when he had noticed the back of her dress and he hadn’t been the only one.

The dress scooped low and he had the most dick hardening view of her spine, a path his hands, lips and tongue had travelled a many a time. There was no other dress that had complimented her ass either has much as this one did, it was bloody to die for alright. Her dress hugged her firm and toned bottom in an alluring way and Petyr was thinking about all the things he wanted to do to her in that dress. Petyr had always been good at being patient but this was a struggle like no other. Sansa had had the idea to not have sex for a week leading up to the gala just to make it fun and he was glad to see some regret in her eyes and hoped she would never suggest such a thing again.

It would be a long while until they both worked the room well and often enough to indicate with their eyes that they should find a quiet place to themselves. It was always best to wait untill the dance floor was filled and people standing around after all meals had been served. People by then had at least had a few drinks to relax more and pay less attention to details.

They had managed to find a quiet little cover within the hotel, no doors but not many guests would wonder down this far. The knew they would have long but they were both desperate for some time together. Sansa had been keen and pleased with the desire that filled his eyes, he was killing her to though. That man of hers really knew how to wear a suit, he wasn’t afraid of a little pop of colour or a bolder pattern, every article of clothing was made to fit him. Fit him it did.

Sansa had hoped that when she made eye contact and occasionally licked her lips or bit her low lip it was telling him she was just has pleased. His hard eye on her and that little side smirk had let her know he was thinking of only wicked things when it came to her she honestly couldn’t love him anymore then right now. He gave her such confident to were a dress like this and she would forever be grateful to him for that.

Petyr had gone first and after a little walk aways from most of the noise she felt a pair of hands grab her out of nowhere and pull her body against another. Sansa briefly registered that the little spot he had found was exactly private but it would have to do. His back was pressed to the wall and he had grabbed her against him and they both groaned at the feeling. Sansa then felt him firmly grab her ass and push her even further again him, she gasped in surprise and placed her hands against his chest to study her self. The grab he had on her bum was firm and almost primal, it was doing all sorts of things to her inside. Petyr had tried to think of something clever to say when he grabbed her, tried to think of complimenting her on her work of art but he had been staring at the round globes of her ass for the last few hours and all he could think about was touching her, of getting his hands on one cheek at least. There had been a brief moment when he had squeezed past her an other guest to make his way to the bar and had allowed the back of his hand to graze her bum.

He didn’t have to be subtle now though.

He knew the moment she had felt him again her thigh because he felt her body much slightly closer to him even still if that were possible. Her body against his, her ass gripped in his hand he wondered if his driver was going to get a show on the way home.

“I know I should say something else…but all I have been able to think about is grabbing you like this out there so everyone knows you are mine and I am yours”, Petyr’s voice had taken that deep and husky tone when he spoke close to her face, she smelt amazing too.

Sansa felt her heart warm up and burst at that comment, it was so much better then any ‘ I love you’ she had ever hoped for. It was so very him. She felt him graze the side of her face gently with just one finger and then leaned closer still to whisper in that voice of his something so wicked it made her beyond wet.

“Now…taking your fucking panties off right here and I’ll keep them safe in my pocket until we get home”, his grip on her ass was firmer again at those words. Sansa though, had been learning from the very best and whispered back into his ear, “I’m not wearing any”, Sansa could believe she found any kind of strength then to push off him and start to walk away.

“Meet you at the car in 20 minutes, I need you now,” she said with a wink and a smirk of her own and all he could do was bask in her wickedness and think about all the ways he would touch her in the back of the car. His memory had been about to flash back to that when Sansa broke him from the flash back with a hand waving in front of his face and a look at disbelief at the tenting in his briefs.

“Are you kidding me right now! Someone saw us last night, took a photo and splashed in on social media and your hard right now.!” she accused has if he had lost his mind. Some sense and blood returned to his brain and he cleared his throat, “Hey…”, she had slumped even further against the counter and held her head in her hands. He walked over to stand in front of her and placed the phone on the bench beside them while his hands rubbed up and down along her sides. He gentle pushed his head and again hers and waited for her to lift her head and look at him. When she did her eyes were watery and one little lone tear fell down her cheek and he was quick to wipe it and give her a quick kiss to the lips and held her face in his hands.

“Tell me whats worrying you the most and I promise we’ll work it out.” Sansa had tears in her eyes but she had been silent and holding it all in so she could avoid whole ugly cry seen. “I just…I just don’t want my parent to know and certainly not this way”.

Petyr long ago had though their age gap had been a slight source of embarrassment for Sansa in regards to her family but that had not been the case Sansa reassured him. Ned and Cat Stark were terrible picky when it came to the people their children dated. The relationship between Robb and her mother was a frosty one still, though he had been married now for over a year and dated for 6 months before. Sansa had suspected it all happen so fast because of her parents disapproval and Rob’s stubbornness. Robb had wed in secret and announcing it the next day to the family had been devastating to her parents to be kept in the dark. Robb had been the golden child and when he had disappointed them Sansa had felt extra pressure to make sure she pleased them even though she knew she wouldn’t always.

Petyr was everything her parents were going to hate, offensively wealthy and certainly not quiet about it. Petyr was flashy, cocky, smug and incurably sly and smart - everything she adored about him was going to be an extra nail in their coffin, has her father would say.

“While I doubt Ed and Cat Stark have social media, I imagine it won’t be long until one of your siblings or a friend lets them know about this. Your dress gives you away I’m afraid but my identity is still unknown - so we have options”. Sansa looked at him slightly hopeful and he prepared himself for her to choose the less taken path and stay hidden awhile longer.

“You can call them up now, admit to seeing someone but your not yet ready to make introductions, it’s all so new ecetra ecetra…..it buys you a little extra time to get them used to you dating someone. The other option…is to just really come clean. We fly out there today and I can be beside you or waiting in the car…and you just tell them sweetling.”, he took a death breath before he realised there was one other options also. He could even believe that this was going to come out of his mouth, what the fuck was wrong with him. Petyr was selfish but with her, he would absolutely do anything to make her happy. He would not put pressure on her to choose, he would be no better then her parents.

“Or We…we could also end this now between you and me. I know how much your family means to you I truly do and if you feel that by being with me is…I fucking adore you more then anyone or anything ever in my life but I don’t want to make you unhappy down the track if…” , Sansa cut him off with a searing kiss and he returned equally almost to try and take it all back. Sansa in her haste tried to almost climb him and he regained their balance by crushing her against the bench to hold them both up while they reassured each other it wasn’t an option.

Sansa was the first to pull away and catch her breath, resting her forehead again his while they both calmed themselves down. “I know you had good intentions but I know you wouldn’t let me go and I wouldn’t let you”, Sansa reassured and soothed his bare chest with her hands for both their sakes. Sansa knew the choice she had to make.

She groaned and saw that dress was going in her cupboard and not coming out for a very very long time.

#petyr baelish #Petyr x Sansa #ao3feed petyrxsansa #petyr and sansa

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heirxann · 5 years

Text

Like Real People Do

a / n ; so this fic is a looooong time coming because i keep asking for updates on the reinerin situation. ANYWAY, HERE Y’ALL GO. this is basically...where these two fucking IDIOTS are a this point in time. also this fic is long as hell and im angry about it. 2,500 words. anyway @konigreich here’s our idiots. this one’s for you.

Erin wasn't sure what she had been thinking. Reiner wasn’t sure what he had been thinking either. She asked him out. On a date. He agreed to go. On a date. They don’t do dates. In fact, neither of them were sure if they had ever been on an actual date before. Reiner was skeptical, but Erin remained positive. It wouldn’t be that difficult. They would go out to dinner and talk like real people do. Everything would be fine in the end.

It was a disaster.

Now, here they sat in her car in silence. She didn't tell him where they were driving to, but he could tell that they were no longer headed back to her apartment. He had hoped that maybe they would just sleep with each other and forget everything that happened. That maybe things could just go back to the way they were and they'd never have to talk about their feelings or dating ever again. That was wishful thinking on his part.

Instead, Erin drove to a field unfamiliar to him. He had never been this far outside of her city before. She pulled off to the side of the road. There were no lights that lit the road, but the moon seemed to light the sky. After a moment of pure silence, Erin sighed and looked at him. And he looked at her. And she felt that twinge of guilt. She couldn’t help but think about how she forced him to do this. She asked him to go out with her. Maybe he felt obligated; like he owed her for leaving her high and dry with no explanation. She hoped — God she hoped — that wasn’t the case. That maybe he was curious about what was there between him. That maybe, just maybe, he felt the same.

She signaled for him to get out the car and he followed her. The field was pitch black. All that was illuminating them were the millions of stars in the sky and the moon. It was silent, save for the grasshoppers singing into the night. She looked at him again and there was that same look on his face. The look he held all night through their painfully awkward date. He was holding back. He’s been holding back since he apologized. She knew it wasn’t right.

That was why she brought him here. That’s why they were in a field, just the two of them. So he wouldn’t have to hold back anymore. She came here plenty of times when she needed to let it out. To scream in a field where you won’t be judged, where you won’t be judged. Stars don’t judge you when you scream in pain or cry to the heavens. She had learned that on her own. Now, it was Reiner’s turn to learn that same lesson.

“I want you to scream.” she told him. For a moment he tried to interrupt her, but she stopped him again and firmly held her ground. “I want you to scream into that field. I want you to let it out, Reiner. I don’t want you to hold back from me anymore. You can’t just bottle it up and I won’t let you anymore. You need to do this. Please. If not for me, do it for yourself.”

He knew he couldn’t argue with her. She was only trying to help him. She didn’t ask for him to open up or tell her what was wrong. She only wanted him to yell. He thought it was an unusual request. He moved towards the field regardless. He was unsure this would work ( and so was she. ) But he screamed. He sounded like a man that had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Erin felt herself tense as his screams filled the void. How long — she wondered — had he been holding this inside? How long had he been hiding these emotions from everyone? And just as soon as it started, his screaming stop. The silence was even more jarring than his scream.

He turned her to her and she noted he appeared to be on the verge of breaking. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t know how. “Your turn.” he said. She swallowed hard. She knew she couldn’t say no. It would be cruel to deny him.

So, she moved forward, further into the field, past where Reiner stood until the grass reached up past her ankles. She stared out, for a moment pretending as if he wasn’t there. She closed her eyes, the hot summer wind blowing through her hair. She wanted to scream too. She wanted to let out everything that she had bottled up for the past few weeks. No holding back. But when she tried to speak, when she tried to scream, nothing came out. Instead, words came out. Words she had been keeping tucked away.

“You just... You left me, Reiner!”

It dawned on them both that they never really talked about what happened between them. They never talked about what happened or why he left. She never quite told him about what happened after he drove off. How she cried the whole way home and then cried for several days more. Now here they were, their first date, and it was all falling apart before their very eyes.

Erin could feel every part of herself breaking. Her facade she had put up, the idea that everything would be okay and that she would be okay. The one she hid behind when he was around out of fear. She was always afraid that if he saw her, broken down and afraid, that he would leave. Her strength would not carry her forever. And this — whatever they were — needed one of them to remain strong. He made it so difficult for her to function these days. She wasn't quite herself. She had been holding back for so long.

It was only a matter of time before it all came pouring out.

“You can't keep doin’ this to me!” Her voice suddenly cracked, but she never bothered facing him. She couldn't bare to. It was just her and the stars, the endless void that contained her cries for help. The stars never judged her or answered back. The stars wouldn't run away like she knew he would after this. “You can't just keep hurtin' me and thinkin' you can come back every time. You're not allowed to be the only one that leaves the situation unscathed! I've always been there for you or at least I’ve tried to be there for you. Well, now it's my turn, Reiner. It's my turn to freak out and panic and you're goin' to stay right here and listen to what I have to say!”

Somehow, Erin found the strength to turn to him. To see his shocked expression and face him like he couldn’t face her. She had been crying over him for so long that she didn’t even have the strength to cry anymore. She was just angry and hurt. The wound he had left her with wasn’t just raw, it was open. He needed to know what he did to her, what he continuously did to her. It wasn’t okay like she said it was. It was never okay to begin with.

“You're not gonna hurt me anymore. Because you-- You're goin' to try. We're both gonin' to try. No more leavin', no more ignorin' what we have. We're goin' to figure this out and you know what? When we get through this we're goin' to be better people for each other. But... I can't... I can't keep chasin' you, Reiner. I can't be the only one that cares. You can’t keep leavin’ me heartbroken and afraid I’ve lost you forever. I need you to want me just as much as I want you. You need to be better. Otherwise, I don't…”

Sigh.

Erin ran her fingers through her hair, still staring at him. He just stood there, shocked, unmoving, not speaking. It was as if he was unable to think in that moment and she knew this look. The same look he gave her the day he left her at the airport. She shook her head, a quiet and bitter laugh escaping her lips.

“The keys are in the car if you want to leave.” Defeated. She was defeated at last. She turned back to the field and sat down before laying down completely, now staring at the stars. It was always so much easier before she admitted to her feelings. It was easier to hide it. To ignore it. She had to ask herself it was worth it. Were her feelings really worth losing him over?

The sound of him moving closer surprised her, but she didn’t dare move to look at him. Her green eyes remained focused on the sky. However, it wasn’t until he laid next to her, so close, that she finally looked over at him. He didn’t look angry, he didn’t look upset, but that worried her more than the former ideas. She looked backup at the sky, now frowning. Why was he here still?

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“You're mad at me.”

“Erin.”

“Just say you're mad at me you don't owe me anythin’—”

“Aileen.”

She froze, forcing herself to look over at him once more. He was now sporting an amused grin and Erin felt her heart skip beats. How long had it been since he called her that? She couldn’t remember the last time he used her name. Her original name. Even then, as she looked into his eyes, she could have sworn his blue eyes were glowing. They always seemed to glow when he looked at her. Still, Erin sighed. She didn't get it.

Why was he still here?

“I’m sorry. I… I never knew I hurt you that much.” Well, no, he always figured he did. But hearing it from her, seeing her anger towards him… It was different. It hurt him, but he knew he deserved it. He deserved every second of her anger. The only thing he didn’t deserve was her. “Can I ask you something? Why do you keep coming back if I hurt you? I just don’t get it. I keep hurting you and you keep coming back anyway. How can you trust me when I’ve hurt you so many times?”

Now it was her turn to be stunned into silence. How could she even respond to that? What was there to say? It took her a moment to think of anything, something to say to him. She eventually found the right words, but she feared they weren’t the right words to say.

“It’s because I like you. I don’t... have a rational reason for why I keep comin’ back or why I continue to trust you. I know if it were anyone else in the world, I would have stopped tryin’. But you… I think about all the time we spent together as kids. I think about your smile. I think about how when I’m with you… I feel like my old self.”

Those words. They struck a nerve before she could even finish. And Reiner stared at her as she spoke. All this time, he thought he was the only one that lost himself. He thought it was just him, but he was wrong. Somewhere along the way, Erin lost herself too. And she found herself again in him, just as he did with her.

“You make me feel like I’m not completely alone. You understand what it’s like… I think that’s why I keep comin’ back and--”

“You make me feel like myself too.” he finally interrupted her and he saw her start to smile, “Listen, I don’t know… I don’t know if I want this. I don’t know if I want a relationship. But what I do know is… I don’t want to lose you, Erin.”

It was the most honest either of them had been with each other in a very long time. Erin knew he wasn’t good at this. Neither was she, but seeing him try gave her hope at least. Hope was something she had long since gave up on, not just with Reiner either. However, that feeling in her chest, that warm feeling… That was hope. She knew it was.

She cleared her throat finally, laying on her back once more to look at the stars just as he had. “...You know how I feel about you now.. We don’t need to define what this is yet. We don’t even have to tell anyone. Whatever this is, whatever we are, we can keep it between us. We can...go out again maybe. We can still sleep with each other. ...But Reiner, I can’t give you all the answers. This is somethin’ you need to figure out for yourself… So, take all the time you need. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

There was a sense of relief for the both of them in that moment. No labels, no pressure, they could resume with their usual. Reiner especially felt less tense. It was as if she had washed away most but not all of his fears. It felt peaceful between them at last. A calm after a long battle they had been fighting. It was well deserved and well earned.

His hand clumsily reached for hers and Erin nearly pulled her hand away when she felt the contact. It took her a moment or two before she returned the gesture, holding his hand in hers. It was different from how it was earlier when they held hands. No longer were either of them tense, their palms no longer sweaty. It felt almost normal. It almost felt like they were real.

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Hm?”

Neither of them bothered to look at the other now, their eyes focused on the millions of stars above them. For the first time in a long time, Erin felt as if she could be honest with him. Completely honest without any worry of backlash.

“Reiner... I've lost you too many times to count. I don't want this to be the end of us. Of our friendship I mean. The truth is... I'm so scared of what comes after this. I’m terrified… I just don't want to lose you again.”

There was a small pause of silence, the sound of crickets and near by toads filling the dead air. She held her breath, as if she were silently making a wish as she awaited his response. Suddenly, she felt him squeeze her hand and she could breathe again. She didn't need to look at him to know what that meant. She didn't even need verbal confirmation, yet he still gave it to her with his soft response, “You won't.”

And so, they stayed there in the field until the sun started to come up. They talked about everything under the sun, things that didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. They pointed out constellations, laughed about old times. She listened, closely, as he talked about his childhood. She responded by telling him about how special this field was to her. They listened to one another that night. Every time she looked at him, every time he looked at her, it felt like a reunion. Not for Erin and Reiner, but for Aileen and Wencel. They could be normal, just for a moment. They could talk and laugh and just exist in the moment.

Like real people do.

#007. [ ᴋᴏɴɪɢʀᴇɪᴄʜ / ʀ. ] 💕 ❝ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʜɪs sʜɪʀᴛ; ʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ʜɪs ᴡᴏʀᴅ. ❞#konigreich

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secretly-a-plant · 5 years

Text

PRB 2019 15-1

Here is my contribution to the @phandomreversebang 2019! I had a lot of fun writing this fic and I would like to thank @loyal-phan and @sublimehowlter for being an amazing artist and beta!

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19930063

The first thing that I register after hitting the damp pavement is that someone is frantically apologizing to me. When I open my eyes I see a tall dark-haired, blue-eyed man offering me a hand. I take it. His hands are smooth and warm, and I realize that I might have been holding on a second longer than acceptable.

“Oh god, I am so sorry!” I’m startled out of my embarrassment by another wave of hurried apologies.

“I was just walking Simon,” at that, I look down to a very adorable corgi sitting obediently at the man's feet “and I wasn’t paying attention and next thing I know-” “Can I pet your dog?”

“Can you-? Um, yeah. Sure”

I bend down and start scratching the dog, evidently named Simon, behind his ears.

“What a good boy you are! What a sweet boy.” I hear the man laughing and quickly stand up my cheeks bright red.

“Sorry,” I mumble

“No, it’s alright! I act the same way whenever I see a dog. I should be the one apologizing, your clothes are all wet now.”

“It’s alright, I was on my way home from work anyway.”

“Are you sure? I feel terrible about it.”

‘No really it’s fine, uh,” I break off not sure what his name is.

“Phil.” He supplies with a smile.

“It’s alright Phil.”

“Well, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. It was nice running into you, Phil.”

“Yeah, nice seeing you.”

---

By the time I get home my legs are starting to chafe from the wet denim. It’s alright though, the cute dog more than made up for it. It’s a good thing it happened on my way home from work, however. It would have been hell waiting tables all day with wet jeans. And as kind as my boss is, she never goes easy on us. Especially on Sundays, which just so happens to be our busiest day.

After a delicious yet slightly pathetic dinner of cold pizza, thoughts of Phil and his dog invade my brain. Out of curiosity I pull out my phone and type Phil into the Instagram search bar. Of course, millions of results pop up. I didn’t have high hopes, but there was a small part of me holding on to the hope that I might be able to find his account using only his first name.

After my fruitless Instagram search, I find myself drifting towards my bed, despite it only being around 9:45. Oh well, long day I guess. Surprisingly, since it normally takes me ages to fall asleep, I find my eyes drifting shut the minute I hit the mattress.

---

I wake up early, for once, which means I actually have time to enjoy my morning rather than throwing on yesterday’s clothes and quite literally running out the door. I take my time getting out of bed, stopping to look at my phone and take time to wake up. When I finally reach my small kitchen (which didn’t take very long considering how small my flat is) I realize that I have no coffee. I let out a disgruntled sigh as I come to terms with the fact that if I want caffeine, which I do, that I’ll have to head to work early putting my lazy morning to a halt. I grab my keys and head out.

I take my time walking to work, choosing to take the scenic route. Rather than the normal path I take, which has a superb view of trash cans and shady alleyways, today's route is lined with shops and restaurants and a Starbucks. The prospect of going and getting a latte of some sort seems much more appealing than getting a black coffee in a chipped mug. The minute I walk in I’m hit with a wave of warm air. A pleasant contrast to the icy weather outside. I start to head up to the counter, but I stop in my tracks when I come face to face with a pair of familiar blue eyes.

“Dan!” Phil says with a smile on his face. “What a coincidence!”

I find a smile growing on my face, what can I say? Something about his unwavering happiness is infectious.

“Oh, hi Phil!”

“Can I get you a coffee? I mean obviously, I’m assuming that's why you're here.”

“Uh-” I don’t come here very often, and the combination of my awkwardness in social situations and my lack of familiarity with the menu has me tripping over my words. “Surprise me? Just something with caffeine please.”

“You got it,” Phil responds with a chuckle. I start to pull out my wallet but he cuts me off. “Don’t worry about it, this one’s on the house.”

“It’s fine Phil, really.”

“No seriously, it’s the least I can do after running you over yesterday.”

“Well if you insist. I’ve never been one to turn down free coffee.” I say with a small laugh.

Phil smiles, before motioning over at the station. “Well if that’s all, I’m just going to go make your coffee.” He awkwardly gestures before walking away. I pull out my phone, scrolling through my Instagram feed while I wait for my coffee. After a few minutes, I see Phil walking back over with a cup in his hand. He hands it to me and looks up expectantly, waiting for me to take a sip.

“Jesus Phil, this is incredible! What is this?” He laughs

“Caramel Macchiato. My personal favorite.”

“Well if your choice in drinks is always this good you're going to have to surprise me again next time.” My phone buzzes with an alarm reminding me that I have obligations.

“Oh shit, I have to go, hopefully, I’ll run into you again soon.”

“Yeah, see you soon.”

It’s not until I’m almost at work that I notice a phone number messily scrawled onto the side of my cup.

---

I spend the majority of my break writing and deleting texts to Phil. He’s cute, there's no denying that, and he gave me his number, but it was probably just a friendly gesture. He seems like the type of person who makes friends with everyone. After many texts that I decide are either cringy, boring, or a combination of the two I settled on a simple but reliable ‘Hi its dan :)” and force myself to press send. I spend the last few minutes of my break opening and closing my phone and jumping every time my phone dings. In order to keep the anxiety at bay, I keep reminding myself that he’s at work; it makes sense if he doesn’t respond. Just because I’m on my break doesn’t mean he’s on his. Eventually, I have to go back to work, leaving my phone and a supposedly unread text in the pocket of my jacket.

All throughout the rest of my shift, my walk home, and while making and eating dinner, I try and fail, to forget about my text to Phil. Finally, after I’ve eaten and sunk into my bed for some quality binge-watching time, my phone buzzes. As I reach over, it buzzes again. And then a third time. I laugh to myself as I open my messages to see three texts from Phil.

Hi!!! soz I took so long to reply ^-^

have a dog to make up for it

what a good boy!

Is that simon????

yes! Im surprised you remembered his name lol

hes the reason i knocked you down yesterday

well if hes the reason i really cant complain

in fact i feel blessed to have been knocked down by that angel

maybe youd want to meet him again? maybe this time without ending up on the ground lol

I hesitate what to say to that, it feels risky meeting up with Phil. Even if he seems friendly, I did only meet him yesterday. But I also don’t want to pass up the opportunity to get to know him better.

um yes?

Yay! do you want to meet up tomorrow? Im off of work

yee

starbucks?

sure, me and simon cant wait :)

We end up texting for a while after that. Originally we were just arranging a time to meet, but it slowly turned into Phil asking me about my job, which led to many other things. The more I talked to Phil the more I liked him. We had very similar interests. We had the same taste in video games, music, and even takeaway places. Not to mention talking to Phil felt easy. Social interaction isn't exactly my forte, but with Phil, the conversation flowed smoothly. It would be nice to have a friend outside of work. I love my coworkers and my boss, but it’s not really the same. Besides, the diner is more a family to me than anything. Finally, the conversation winds down, both of us beginning to fall asleep. Even though I’m no longer texting him, I can’t stop thinking about Phil as I fall asleep.

---

The next day is sunny. A welcome change from the perpetual moistness that has haunted London for the last few days. I spend most of the morning laying in bed scrolling through social media. Not the healthiest past time I’ll admit, but once I get started on the Instagram explore page it’s hard to tear myself away. Eventually, I look at the time and realize that I only have about an hour before I’m supposed to meet Phil. After five more minutes, I drag myself out of bed and towards the shower.

Several outfit changes later, Starbucks is finally within my line of vision. I check the time to see that I still have a few minutes before Phil is due to get here so I take a seat on a bench and resume my scrolling. Not long after I sit down, however, I am attacked by a bundle of saliva and tan fur, accompanied by frantic calls of “Simon down!”.

“Hello there!” I say bringing my hands up to try and protect myself from the onslaught of dog.

“I’m so sorry about him, normally he’s so well behaved, I don’t know why he always jumps on you.”

“It’s really not a problem, Phil,” I say laughing.

“Well if you insist I guess. Do you want a coffee or anything while we're here?”

“I’m fine, I don’t want to keep you and Simon waiting.”

“Oh, well if you don’t mind I thought you could stay out here with Simon and I could go in and order.”

“I mean I’m always up for hanging out with dogs, but I really can’t have you buying me another coffee.”

“Seriously Dan, it’s fine. Think of it as a gift from Simon. Besides, I have an employee discount.”

I shrug, smiling. I take Simon’s leash from Phil and sit back down.

“Oh, Dan, what do you want?” I find myself breaking into a giant grin, enough to make my dimples pop.

“Surprise me.”

---

Two sugary coffees later and more walking then I do on a normal day, Phil and I are tossing tennis balls at a dog park.

“This is one of my favourite places to go with him,” Phil says, gesturing at Simon. “It’s a nice change of pace to be outside rather than stuck on a pavement block all day.”

“Mm. What else do you like to do in your spare time?”

“Uh, well, to be honest, I don’t really go outside that much. I pretty much spend the rest of my time staying inside on the internet.”

“Me neither to be honest, I spend most of my free time participating in online Mario Kart tournaments, as sad as that seems.”

“You play Mario Kart? We should race sometime.” “Only if you want to lose, Philip.”

“Oh really? Pretty confident for never having seen me play.”

“While I guess we’ll have to change that.”

“It’s a date. Well I mean, not a date date, unless you wanted to. But I mean, I don’t want to presume-”

“Phil, Phil, don’t worry, a date sounds nice. Although, to be honest, I’ve never been asked on a Mario Kart date before. But it does sound much more my style than a fancy dinner. “

“Me too, I’m not much of an extrovert. Oh shit, it’s getting dark. I should probably head home, but I’ll text you yeah?”

“Yeah sounds great. And Phil?”

“Yeah?” “I definitely prefer your company to video games.”

---

It takes a couple of weeks to find a date that works for both of us, first because of work, and then Phil got sick, and then I got sick. But, on the bright side, we spend almost all of that time texting and face timing, and occasionally I run into him at Starbucks when I’m grabbing a coffee. Unfortunately, my minimum wage and tips don’t cover daily overpriced coffee, even if it means I get to see a very nice, attractive, person.

On the bright side, we did eventually find a time. That time happens to be tonight, and to say I’m nervous would be an understatement. I end up spending about 45 minutes sorting through every article of clothing that I own before finally settling on jeans and a jumper, an outfit that is safe but far from extraordinary. After getting dressed I spend longer than necessary trying to get my hair to cooperate. Eventually, I just give up and call a cab. One extremely awkward cab ride later and I’m standing outside Phil’s door. I take a deep breath and raise my hand but before I get a chance to knock the door swings open.

“Dan! Hi! Come in, I’m sorry about the mess, I tried to clean but it's still pretty untidy.” I look down at my feet to see Simon wagging his tail excitedly. “It’s alright, my apartment is probably twice as bad.” As I walk into Phil’s flat and take my shoes off I notice that every surface is covered in something. The bookshelves are covered in plushies and figurines, the windowsills are adorned with plants in a questionable state of health, and the couch has a colourful blue and green quilt draped over the back. All in all, it just looks very Phil.

“If you want you can have a seat on the couch and I can order a pizza. What type do you like?” I’m startled out of my thoughts by Phil’s voice. I smile, feeling more content with my life then I have in a long time.

“Surprise me.”

~10 years later~

“The last ten years haven’t been easy. There’s been ups and downs, fortunately mostly ups. But you have been by my side for all of it. People and places have changed but you have remained a constant. I don’t know what life will bring, but I know I want you to be with me. I want to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up next to you every morning. So, Phil Lester, will you marry me?”

#prb19 #prb2019 #phanfiction #phandom #daniel howell #phil lester #Dan and Phil #phan

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cabinofimagines · 5 years

Text

Our road back home (Piper Mclean x Male!reader)

A/N: Y’ALL THIS IS THE LAST REQUEST I HAD IN LINE IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF, hope u like it, I made it very sad. -Danny c:

Words: 1,755

Warnings: none, besides bad writing lol

Request: May I request a Piper x Male!reader - maybe in the last war is where the reader is holding onto dear life, and Piper now holding on to him- trying to charm speak him to keep going as they battle is waging but is forced to leave them to keep fighting, and somebody else has to take him for to get treated. And with the major head trauma his memory goes fuzzy and can’t recall Piper anymore.

“I’m sorry...”

Piper never thought this could happen, somewhere inside her, even if it was silly, she expected her mom could do an exception, after all she did for her, she wanted nothing but a happily ever after.

But it wasn’t there.

Y/N was the best. He was sweet, smart, pretty... How could this happen to him? it wasn’t his fault, everyone suffered, people lost more than what they could stand after the war, to think that she was safe from the pain was too naive.

He got hurt during the last minutes, Piper found him by her side, blood coming out in excessive amounts from his head, she got scared, fought to keep him standing and “Please,” she muttered on his ear, “please don’t close your eyes”

I worked once with Jason, it had to work with Y/N, there was no other option. Piper loved him. Love conquered all.

Or so she thought.

Will and Kayla practically had to rip him from her hands, they wanted to help but she didn’t have the mind to understand. She saw red. Jason and Nico had to grab her by the arms and pull her apart while she screamed. He wasn’t dead. Y/N couldn’t be dead.

She had lost one of her best friends, and with Leo away she couldn’t bear to lose Y/N so she prayed to all the gods known, she prayed for his life. Surprisingly the listened and obliged. Piper heard Will’s voice coming out of his cabin, his blond curls peeking through the door with a shy smile on his face, and the weight of the world lifted from her shoulders.

Y/N was unconscious at the time, but he looked okay, even cute. Most importantly, he was breathing. She stayed there for what it felt like days and nights compressed into one hour; until Y/N moved quietly in his bed, blinking slowly, showing his bright, cheery eyes.

“Hey, you” Piper whispered, wiping her tears away, “how ya feeling?”

“I’m throwing up any minute now,” He complained in a husky voice, “holy Hades, what the hell happened?”

“A monster hit you” she explained patiently, “you were bleeding. A lot. Thought I’d lost you”

She reached to touch his cheek, but Y/N pushed it away gently, looking around.

“I’m sorry, “ He said, “am I in the Apollo cabin?”

“Yes,” Piper frowned, not sure of what was going on inside his head.

“Alright, one thing at a time” He rubbed his eyes, then looked at her curiously, “you’re new. Are you the person in charge of my recovery?”

“What?”

“Hey Y/N, you’re up!” Kayla approached the boy with a glass of nectar, handing it to him, “how are you?”

“I’m fine” He retorted, sipping his drink carefully, “I mean I have no idea how I ended up in here, but yeah I guess I’m fine.”

“What?” Kayla looked at Piper, “What does he mean?”

“I-I don’t know”

Y/N snorted.

“What a good healer you are then, having no idea what is wrong with me.”

“She’s not your healer” Kayla replied in a stern voice, “Piper’s your girlfriend.”

Y/N choked on his nectar, his eyes widening at the news.

“She’s my what?!”

“You don’t remember?” His friend asked in utter surprise, “oh man, we need Will”

She ran out of the room, leaving Piper and Y/N alone, again. A heavy silence fell around them and the weight that was no longer on Piper’s shoulders fell right on her stomach, it was way worse like this.

“Y/N, what’s the last thing you remember?” She asked softly.

“I-uh... I know I’m a demigod, and I have no family. I’ve been living here all my life and fought in the war against Kronos. Then Percy disappeared and Annabeth went nuts...”

“And?”

“Another war against other demigods, we protected camp while some of us went on a quest” He frowned profusely, “I’m skipping things, aren’t I? Did the war happen? That’s the reason I’m here, right?”

“I was one of the demigods that went on the quest” she replied with a shaky voice, “and when I came back you started talking to me, and... we...”

“Kayla’s telling the truth?” Y/N stared at her, it was hard to see how distant his eyes could look, “we were a thing?”

“We are a thing, Y/N!” Piper stood up, “gods, I can’t have this, please don’t joke like this” she begged.

“I’m not joking!” the boy replied, shifting uncomfortably on his bed, “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you.”

Will came in right on time to see Piper walking out, fighting against her tears. Y/N didn’t have to see her so affected, he didn’t know. He didn’t remember.

Leo had sent a message a week ago, he was alive. He was lost but looked completely okay. He’d be back any day, they just had to be patient. Piper trusted him enough to know Leo’d go back. She wished she could say the same about Y/N.

“There you are,” Hazel sat next to her, sinking her feet on the sand, “you didn’t have breakfast and is time for lunch, here” She handed her an apple.

“You didn’t have to”

“Oh I did, cause see, Piper, if people don’t eat, they die” She joked, patting on her back.

“Gee, how wise” She smirked, “I’m sorry, I guess I’ve been distant with... well, everyone”

“I understand” Hazel nodded, “how is he?”

Piper shrugged, the feeling in her stomach coming back in full force, “dunno, I don’t really talk to him, it’s kind of... well, it sucks”

Her friend nodded again, grabbing her by the shoulder in a protective way.

“He’s very sorry, Piper. I mean, he’s confused as hell but you can tell he hates hurting you, maybe something inside him tells him is wrong”

“I don’t want to think about it,” she said bitterly, “it’s so stupid that I get this luck being the daughter of Aphrodite”

“It’s life” Hazel sighed, “but perhaps you can do something about it”

Piper raised her brows, “Like what?”

“Well, maybe win him back” the girl offered, “it’s cheesy, but if he doesn’t get his memory back nothing stops you from making him fall for you again.”

“It’s different now” Piper muttered, “I don’t know we could get together the same way we did before”

“Then do it differently” Hazel smiled, “people do crazy things for love, Pipes”

“Oh gods, please don’t quote Hercules like that” Piper cringed, “it’s hard to think positively about the story once, you know, meet the real Hercules”

“Oh no,” she giggled, “you’re so right”

“Huh, hi” Some boy talked behind them, “hey Piper, can I talk to you?”

Y/N stood awkwardly, looking like he had no idea of what to do with his hands. Piper remembered it being one of his quirks, ‘at least he’s still the same’ she thought. Hazel excuse herself and went up to eat lunch, while Y/N occupied her seat.

“So...” Piper started not sure of how to talk to him now.

“So” He repeated, clasping his hands together nervously, “Hello.”

“Hi?” Piper answered with a half smile.

“I have no idea how to start, I’m so sorry,” He whined, hiding his face with both hands, “I’m trying to ask you something, but I don’t know how to do it without making it awkward.”

“Just say it,” She shrugged, “can’t be too bad.”

At least she hoped it wasn’t that bad.

“See, I feel like shit all the time,” He said, “because I know I hurt you, and that... well, it sucks”

“Please don’t” Piper replied worryingly, “don’t feel bad, these things happen sometimes but is not your fault-”

“I know is not” Y/N sighed, “it isn’t fair either, you deserve to be happy”

“I don’t wanna force you into things”

“Don’t worry, you’re not doing this, I am” He smiled, and for a moment Piper felt at home, “so anyway, I’m here to offer peace”

“What does that mean?”

“I think that, whatever we had before my accident,” Y/N stopped for a moment, thinking his words, “well people had told me about it, and it sounded nice.”

“It was nice, yeah” Piper nodded nostalgic.

“I hope you understand it would be weird for me to start up everything again since I don’t really feel like I know you” His voice was soothing, allowing her a safe place to stay at ease, “but I think we can maybe, try to be friends?”

“You are very special to me, Y/N” Piper murmured, “I’d do anything for you, at some point you knew that but now you don’t, still was important to me you knew that”

“Thanks, Piper” He blushed, nodding at her words, “that’s nice of you.”

They stayed silent. When the sun was starting to paint a faint orange, Piper spoke up.

“I would love to be your friend again.”

Y/N looked up at her, mildly surprised that she had agreed, he then nodded showing one of his best smiles.

“Great, then I could finally meet the legend behind all the stories people already say around camp”

“They have stories about me?” She grinned.

“Kayla told me you made Drew quit her title as a counselor”

“Well yeah, but I had reasons.”

“Like what?”

“She annoyed me.”

Y/N laughed, and it was like things were going back to their place. They stayed there for a long time, talking until dinner was ready and the moon stood tall up their heads. Once more, she was totally head over heels, losing her senses to a simple boy, the best boy.

“We should go eat now before they leave us without any food.” Y/N shook the sand from his legs and held his hand out to help her stand. Like he used to do before the accident. Maybe not everything was lost.

“Sure” Piper brushed her clothes too, then she looked at him again, “this was nice, Y/N, I hope we can do it again soon”

“Me too” He tilted his head, eyeing her curiously, “I like you, Piper, I get why old me felt things about you”

“Woah, that’s so romantic” She snorted.

“Hey, I’m trying!” He laughed, “I’ll get it right at some point, don’t be bad”

“Yeah” and her heart pounded at the chances, “I believe you”

“I’ll find my way home” He beamed, puppy eyes staring at the girl. His best girl.

Yay, you really thought I would make real angst? Bitch, AS IF, everyone knows I’m completely incapable lmao

Hope you guys like it anyway <3

-Danny :)

#piper mclean x reader #pjo imagine #pjo writing #Danny's writing #male reader #it's so late but I hope someone's up to read it

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