#also have you even truly lived if you haven't slept in the same room as your crush while not being able to do anything about it

[a2zillustration]

My BG3 run is quickly devolving into a messy dating sim (sorry)

| First | | Previous | | Next |

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#also I panicked SO HARD because I'd seen a couple people say that dancing with Wyll- #even rejecting him- ruined the Gale romance and prevents it from happening and I didn't see that until after 2 more hours of gameplay #spoilers we're good #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #act II spoilers #croissant adventures #wyll #tav #gale #comics #we're coming up on my Big Project Comic and uh I hope you like it it's extremely self-indulgent lol #also have you even truly lived if you haven't slept in the same room as your crush while not being able to do anything about it #there's some free a2z lore for you #gale dekarios #breadweave

[explicit-tae]

Cruel Intentions (Part 1)

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Finale | Cruel Intentions: Organized Crime | Overthinking (Drabble) | Reward (Drabble)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Italics meaning past events)

Genre: smut, Mafia!Jungkook

Warning: (eventual) smut, yandere themes, mentions and display of death, blood,

Word Count: 8,335

Description: You adored your eldest brother - you truly did. Before his addiction got the best of him, he was amazing at caring for you and your other siblings. Now, however, it was your turn to care for him without the help of your siblings who long abandoned him, advising you to do the same. Once your brother manages to get himself imprisoned, you realize just how much trouble he got himself into. Once your family is threatened, you offer to pay off the debts your brother owes with the one thing any powerful man couldn't resist - your virginity.

"Are you aware of the father...?" The woman asks when she brings a fresh cup of water to you, her eyes scanning your bump. She watches you drink the water hastily, droplets dripping down the corner of your mouth and down your chin. She leans back into her chair, tilting her head and waiting for a response.

"T-Thank you." you murmur to her, your left hand caressing your bump. "I must keep going-"

The woman halts you from standing up. She gives a head shake and sits you back down. "You've been traveling by foot this entire time?" she asks, your disheveled appearance already giving her the answer she needed. "Where are you headed to?"

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Because, to answer your question, you don't know. You had nowhere to go, no one to fall upon. You had siblings, yes, but that would be putting their lives at risk - the lives of their children at risk, as well. That was something you couldn't bring yourself to do.

"I cannot allow you to leave in this state." the woman is stern, her grey hair poking out beneath the scarf she wore upon her head. "Especially when you're expecting a child."

You shake your head. "I-I have to go. I can't stay in one place for too long." you try to explain, but the woman wouldn't listen.

"I found you asleep in the middle of the field, utterly exhausted. My son helped bring you here. You were beyond dehydration. I don't know your situation, nor do you have to explain to me. But as a woman who has nothing but her own child, I cannot allow you to set off on your own." the woman stands. "I'll be making dinner soon. Down the hall to the right is a guest bathroom, you can use that to clean yourself up."

And you do, running yourself a hot shower. You were unsure how you made it along the country side. You didn't have a cellphone any longer - you destroyed that long ago. You also didn't have a map, and even if you did you weren't sure if you knew how to decipher it. It's been months since you managed to escape him, but doing so hasn't been easy. You walk for days on end sometimes, only stopping to sleep wherever you are deemed safe. You didn't have a destination - but knew wherever would be better than with him.

You haven't had a proper shower in months. You ran out of money long ago, having slept in cheap motel rooms that offered shitty breakfast - something that could satiate you and your growing belly. You never stayed in the same place for too long, understanding the fact that they were looking for you - to either bring you back to him or kill you out of revenge. Either or, you were a walking target - one of the reasons you had no desire to stay with the woman and her unknown son.

But you couldn't leave - she wouldn't allow it. Not when you woke up early in the morning to already find the woman cooking breakfast. Not when she gave you clean clothes and medicine for the cold you had. Not when she fed you delicious food and offered old baby clothes that once belonged to her so - that she washed freshly the day of. She offered different remidies to make the pregnancy go smooth, each remedy being the perfect batch.

You hadn't met her son until a week later, him strolling through the door with a confused look on his face upon seeing his mother and you cooking around the kitchen. You waddled around, your stomach in the way and your kicking baby far too energetic.

"This is my son, Soobin." the woman introduces her son with gleaming eyes - he was her pride and joy.

Said man offers you a kind smile that makes your heart melt. He didn't say much, but the act of kindness he displayed was one you hadn't witnessed in years. Men didn't act like Soobin unless they wanted something from you. But Soobin didn't desire anything - from you at least. He was kind and gentle, assisting you in whatever he could. Pulling out your chair, getting anything that was out of your reach - he even massged your feet because they were swollen.

Over the months of your stay, you understood now that it was long term. The woman - whose name was Byeol. She kept everything she had for Soobin when he was a baby. She dusted and cleaned off the old crib, washing the sheets and allowing you to set up a small nursery in your bedroom. She had many stuffed bears and toys, even a rocking chair that creaked when you rocked back and forth.

It brought you to tears knowing that she assisted you without understanding your situation. How someone could be so affectioate without desiring anything in return.

Byeol insisted on making memories - she had scrap books piling up of Soobin. She took many pictures of you - you cooking, washing dishes, rocking back and forth in the rocking chair, everything she could of your growing bump. She insisted it was the memories you needed to look back upon.

"Have you decided on a name?" Soobin asks you one day. Byeol had gone down for a nap and you and Soobin opted to sitting on the porch, the sun shining but the weather was just right. "I know you don't want to go to the city for whatever reason but..." Soobin leans back and glances your way. You never told him why you were afraid to go to the city and thankfully, he never forced it out of you. "...we can find out the gender."

The gender of your child was something you always thought about. You wanted a girl - someone whose hair you can do. Dress up in cute clothing - Byeol had many netural clothing that once belong to Soobin, and after a few years you ould eventually find yourself a job once you deemed it safe enough to do so.

The act of having a boy terrified you, to say the least. You couldn't imagine raising a man - you didn't know how to. One thing you did know was that you'd be damned if you allowed your son to act the way his creator did. You wouldn't call him a father - you had no desire allowing him the knowledge of your pregnancy prior to your escape. What he didn't know wouldn't put your child at risk.

"I think it's best if it's a surprise." you tell Soobin, your hand resting on your belly. Your child must've been asleep, they weren't moving or kicking at the moment.

"I know someone. A friend." Soobin's eyes widen. "They could offer you an ultrasound right from home!"

You laugh. "That's a lot of equipment to bring into the household." you say, but the act now gets to you. You have never seen your child via ultrasound. You have been present before for your sisters ultrasounds and seeing them. Even hearing the heartbeat was emotional for you and you were nothing but the aunt.

You cave into Soobin's request and a few days later you are watching the moniter closly as the woman shows you your child. Byeol has a soft smile on her lips and Soobin is utterly confused. "How do you know that's the foot?" he asks, his eyes seeing nothing but black and white blobs on the screen.

"With years of schooling and medical practice." she says. "Do you want to know the gender?"

You bite your lip, eyes wandering around to see Byeol and Soobin. Soobin gives you a thumbs up while Byeol grins. The decision was yours and you find yourself nodding.

The woman hums and her eyes scan the screen. "It's a boy!" she cheers, as does Soobin and Byeol, but your smile flutters and the corner of your eyes swell with tears.

You had 4 older siblings, you being the youngest of 5. Growing up you were closest to your eldest two siblings, Yechan (your first born sister) and Hyun-woo (your first born brother). You recalled the many times they'd taken you to and from school, brought you with them on errands and even took you to the park when they weren't busy. You would often get confused with being Yechan's daughter due to the age difference.

Se-hun (your second eldest brother) and Ye-Rim (your second eldest sister) was a different story. You often argued with Ye-Rim over petty drama which resulted in you two fighting. Se-hun ignored your presence most times, you being nothing but a younger sister who annoyed him every now and then.

Yet and still, they were your siblings and you loved them. Now being 22, your and Ye-Rim's relationship was better. She no longer considered you a burden of a sister and you enjoyed your nieces presence. You visited Se-hun often now that he was married with 4 kids - something you were shocked to think back to. But, he wasn't alone in children when Yechan had the same amount.

You strove to be the perfect aunt, buying whatever gifts you could for 9 children, trying to take them out of your siblings hands for a bit but you were just one person, afterall.

Your siblings were all doing great for themselves - all except Hyun-woo. When you were a child, Hyun-woo was hard working. He worked every night until late and every morning made sure you all had breakfast on the table to eat. The man you witnessed now was not the man of your childhood - there seemed to be no life behind his eyes. He appeared a mess, oftentimes. His hair was greasy and his teeth had a dull grey color. He wasn't old in the slightest but appeared to be as though he aged like milk.

"I told you to leave him alone." Se-hun sighed once, shaking his head. "He was far beyond himself."

"I couldn't have him around my kids." Ye-Rim snickers as she washes her dishes. "When I did he left cocaine in the bathroom."

"He's going to drag you down with him, Y/N." Yechan warned, and how right she was.

Hyun-woo didn't take long until he was arrested for petty theft. His drug addicted mind had him breaking into homes, stealing small items. Sometimes he would remain in said homes and hide to do nothing in particular. You managed to bail him out the first time, raising enough money (no thanks to your siblings) and bailing your brother out. The next month, he was back - this time off to prison.

"You should've left him there the first time." Ye-Rim told you. "So he could've thought about what he was doing with his life. Your bail money went down the drain."

Down the drain was right. You had a hefty savings - you weren't a university student. You decided that working was best after High School, but all the savings you had was poured into your brother's bail just for him to off to prison shortly after. You were stuck - working check to check. You didn't wish to live off of your older siblings - they had children and lives of their own to manage. So you decided - pay your rent to have a roof over your head or eat with no where to lay your head. You chose your rent with a little money left over for necessities. It was difficult - but you managed.

What you weren't able to manage was the two men in dark suits coming into your work place looking for Hyun-woo. You widen your eyes at them - because, for one, they knew you and your workplace but also because they were bold enough to do this in broad daylight. At you telling them that your brother was in prison, they left. You thought this would be a sigh of relief, they whoever those men were wouldnt be returning.

You were wrong.

They did return and even were kind enough to trash your house. You were home when the door was kicked in, a scream erupting through your throat. The men had destroyed everything in sight, a robotic look in their eyes and actions. Almost as if they were being compelled to do this - maybe by a higher up. Before they left, one of the three men had come forward to your weeping figure and dropped to his knees. He eyes you for a moment too long before then tells you that they would be returning a week from that moment to claim your brother's debt - a total of 64 million won.

Your heart stops at the high price. You questioned how in the world there was so much money to be loaned to someone that appeared as your brother did - grey teeth, some missing. Greasy hair was often left in a low bun and stubble on his chin and cheeks. He was an utter mess and a known addict - what else could he be? How much drugs were dealers willing to give someone with no job or money? You had kept your valuables hidden from him - he was a known thief and even you being his youngest sister didn't leave you untouched.

You worked extra hours the next day at your job - the grocery store appreciating it, they were already short staffed. Whatever you had left that wasn't broken by the men you sold - your couch, the tv in your room and livingroom (that was only half broken but pawn shops don't discriminate). You even sold jewelry, not as though you had anywhere to wear it. You were still down millions of won, the money not being realistic for you to attain in a short amount of time.

So, here you were scouring the internet for ways to attain large amounts of money, legal or illegally. You were desperate to do anything, at this point. You got your answer when you were invited - via vpn tracking, sadly - to a private event. You were skeptical, but the invite said that if you had anything valuable to sell, you could through the black market - an event that happened every few months in an underground location.

You went - your fanny pack holding a bottle of bear mace and a pocket knife and a mini taser. Your backpack holding a change of clothes for this occassion. If this was a trap, you refused to be down bad and die there. You've lived this long, far too long to die like that. At your arrival at said place, you were disappointed to see that there was no one there. You looked around the abandoned alleyway, the dark light alley lights flickering as you let out a sigh of defeat.

"Looking for something?" a voice startles you. The tall man crosses his arms behind you. He steps back, allowing you space.

"I,uh...I guess not. I'll be leaving." you take a few steps back yourself, not wanting to be too close to the man.

"Are you trying to buy or sell anything?" the man says, his eyes narrowing. He was being conspicuous without saying too much in the case that you weren't looking to do that.

"S-Sell." your lips purched.

The man nods, he turns towards a metal door. "Follow me." he tells you.

You follow behind him, your hands on your fanny pack in case you need to grab a quick weapon. As the two of you walk behind the door and down a dim lit hallway, he opens a wooden door at the end of the hall and motions for you to enter. The room was huge with loud chattering. Sea of people, all dressed far more expensive than you, holding glasses of wine and champagne. Your eyes glance to the man behind you. "What do people sell here?" you ask him, unsure if this was the correct place to do this at.

"Everything." he says. "Expensive jewlery - stolen or not. Property, businesses, foreign exchanges...sex." he shrugs. "Whatever you have to offer. State your price - start high. Someone will be bound to buy what you're selling."

You nod your head. "I-Is there a restroom?" you look around. If you were going to be selling yourself to the sea of men, you were bound to change into whatever cheap lingerie you brought in your backpack, long jacket hanging over your shoulders.

Everything was separated into categories just like the man stated. Sex was the last exchange sold and this late into the night you were nearing exhaustion. Your feet ached in the heels you wore that you took it off the second hour and slide against the floor in a sleepy haze. You were standing up right when the catergory you were waiting for was now. There was many woman, all shapes and sizes, offering sex - some in more ways the others. Their asking prices weren't the same as what you were going to be asking far, far less. Nonetheless, like the man states - start high and state your price.

You were next. The lights of the stage seemed brighter than every when you were the center of attention. The host speaks with you silently, his eyes widening at your asking price.

"64 million won." the host states into the microphone, you hear a few gasps and snickers. You gulp, taking a deep breath. You removed the long jacket, letting it fall to the floor. Your lingerie was simple, a white lace that shown more than you desired, but if you were going to sell sex you needed to ooze sex. "Tell me, why do you think you deserved 64 million won?" the host asks, trying to get you to sell what you could.

"I'm not just selling sex." you speak into the microphone, the sea of people watching you making your stomach feel uneasy. "I'm selling my virginity."

The crowd erupts in more gasps, and with that the biddin started. One man offered 64 million straight out, his old shaky voice cracking. You were disgusted, but kept your smile on your lips. Another man shouted 65, the next 70. The last was what has you yelping. "400 million won." the voice says, this time it didn't sound old or cracked out. It was young and deep - determined. "Cash."

"Sold." the host says, head shaking in disbelief at the amount of money you were about to obtain for your virginity. You gulp, your eyes watching the figure make their way to the stage. You're captivated, watching as the man - couldn't be much older than you - make his way onto the stage. Something in your gut is telling you - he was familiar to you.

He grasps your jacket and places it upon your shoulders. He pushes you gentle towards the left side of the stage and down the small stairs.

You two had a lot to talk about. For one, you couldn't believe that amount of cash the man took out of the black bag, He shows you, allowing you to see that he was serious about this. You fidget in you stance, the man intimidating you. He wasn't the one who appeared to need to buy pussy - or virginity. He was young, piercing dark eyes with the same dark hair. He had a lip ring in the corner of his lips and the smirk he gives you was enough to have you want to fuck him without the money.

"Before we...make out a contract. Why are you doing this?" the man asks you. He has taken you to his car, a black mercedes with dark tinted windows. You two sit in the back while a man drives him.

"I need the money." you admit.

"64 million won is a lot of money to need." the man chuckles a response. "College? Mortage?"

"My brother's in debt." you say. You were exhausted. You tell the stranger everything - how your brother was a drug addict who finally met his match in prison while you were left to pay for the damages. How the men destroyed your home and only allowed you a week to conjure up the debt your brother owed. You admitting to selling nearly everything you owned and now deciding the last thing you did own was your diginity and virginity.

The man remained quiet at your rambling. You remained quiet the rest of the car ride to your home. Much to your surprise, the man had given you the entire 64 million won, stating that he would be back to collect his debt you owed to him and give you the rest of the money he promised. Your eyes sparkled and you nodded with determination. You got out of his car with a short bow, vowing to be the best you could to him when he returned.

What you weren't expecting was the man to indeed return the day of the debt collecting - right on time. As you allowed the man inside your home, envelope in your hand with the amount of cash they needed, your door, once again, was kicked in. The man, along with one other, raises their guns at the men in your sitting area.

"What the hell?" one of the men hiss to the intruders, arms raised. His eyes widen in realization. "Jeon-ssi? What are you doing-"

A shot ranged out and all you could do was drop to the floor, eyes wide. The man, Jeon, shoots the man speaking, a crazed look in his eyes. The man screams at the bullet through his shoulder. A few more shots ring and you're now crying on the floor, a pool of the mens blood surrounding you. You may have fucked up and got yourself into deeper shit than you imagined.

You hear footsteps approaching, but you don't open your eyes. You never do - not until you feel fingers wrapped into your hair and yanking you upward. You hiss, eyes shooting open, the tears pooling out faster now. "P-Please..." you try to shake away from the familiarly strange hand.

The man removes his hands from your hair and steps back, head tilting at you. "Stop crying." he murmurs. "I'm not going to kill you."

You sniffle. It was hard to believe this man wasn't nefarious when he and his friend murdered the men in your home seconds ago.

"That's it." Jeon nods, a smile on his pierced lips. He reaches out to wipe a tear from your left eye. His hand then caresses your cheek. "I can't believe these cowards left you in such a compromising position."

You gulp, shaking stiffly. You couldn't move, far too afraid that he wold put a bullet through you next if you had.

"Come." Jeon says.

"W-Where are you taking me?" you cry out when you feel him grab your shoulders and bring you closer to him. "I-I don't need the money anymore, take it-"

"Hyung, please wait in the car for us." Jeon says to the man behind him, a tall man with narrowed eyes and broad shoulders. He does so, not bothering to close the door behind him. "You...fear me." Jeon says to you. "After I got you out of debt and handled the men who disrespected you."

You want to scream and cry, everything at once. You were beyond frightened and you swore if you could piss right now, you would.

You remain still when he brings himself closer to you. "Let's go home, Y/N." he tells you sternly, the look in his eyes telling you that he wasn't going to say it again.

You take a deep breath, humming softly to yourself. You were rocking back and forth with a hand rubbing your growing belly. You felt indifferent now knowing the gender of your child. You thought of the future of you and your child - how you would be cuddling her to sleep every night, breast feeding her until she was full, bathing her. Now, you were doing this to a baby boy.

In the past you wouldn't dare be disappointed in the gender of your child. However, the past you once thought you would be married first, have a dog or a cat before allowing a child into the picture. Obviously, that was not the case in your situation. You now pondered on how your child would look, if he'd look like you or the man from your past or take your features. 

Nonetheless, you couldn't dwell on the gender any longer. You will soon have a child to raise, far from the drama that came with the Jeon empire. You would be the sole influenced - along Byeol and Soobin - to this child, needing to have him be the man you wished you encoutered from his father. 

"I like the name Dal." Soobin stands in your door frame. He leans against it as he eyes you. 

"I chose Jin-Seon." you murmur to the man.

He raises a brow. "You did? When? Why didn't you say anything?" he was excited, possibly more than you now, at the fact there was going to be a baby in the home. 

"A few hours ago. That's the only boy name that stuck...with me." you stop rocking to glance towards the old crib. Soon you'll be putting your son in that crib."What if I'm a terrible mother?"

Soobin gasps at your sudden words, far taken aback by your change in demeanor. He steps inside your room to get closer to you. "Why would you say that? You'll be an amazing mother!" he assures. He kneels down so he can be face to face with you. "What's going on?"

You shake your head. You couldn't tell Soobin of your past and the worries you had to raise your son to not be like his father. Of course, he wouldn't be around you two for Jin-Seon to be a bad influence, but still, they were blood after all. You were afriad you would fail your son like you failed to help your brother.

"I know we haven't been together as friends for long, Y/N...but I know you'll be a great mother. You're already so motherly to Jin-Seon. He is in great hands." Soonbin gives you a smile that makes you want to cry - his kindness was overwhelming. "And if you need any help, Eomma and I are more than willing to. It take's a village to raise a child, Y/N, I'll never allow you to do it alone."

You were unsure how long you were kept into the room - possibly a day or two. It appeared as a guest room, everything neat and organized and not lived in. You hadn't showered yet, either, the blood of the men soaked and dried onto your skin. You were disgusted and horrified with what was bound to happen to you. This man, who you have yet to know the name of, has not returned.

Often, you lay upon the bed that you were given, hoping to sleep away the memories but they never left. You were always left with waking up every few hours in a cold sweat and a yelp, the memories of the shooting, the blood and the cold eyes of your captor.

While you lay awake, your mind drifts to the outside world. It's been days - maybe a week? has anyone tried looking for you? You haven't been to work in so long, has anyone called the police? Has your siblings been notified? The act of being labled as a missing person was what terrified you - you were missing in plain sight, unsure of when you'd see the outside world.

The door jingling makes you freeze in your spot. You lay your head against the pillow and hold your breath, not wanting to make a sound. "How long has she been here?" a voice comes, a voice of an older woman. "She's covered in blood and you left here like this? Is this how I raised you?"

The lights in the room turn on from a switch just outside the door and you hiss lowly, your eyes not seeing brightness for so long. You begin to shiver when the voices and footsteps come closer. "I didn't know what to do, Ajumma." the familiar voice of the man you called Jeon says. "You know how the Hyung's are."

His voice now was different from when you last heard of him - there's no venom laced in it, nor is it deep and threatening. It's normal, light when speaking to the older woman. You feel a hand on your shoulder and your shivering stops. Your eyes glance upwards to see them - Jeon and the older woman, hair dark but a few strands of grey caught their way out. She had wrinkles covering her forehead and low bags covering her eyes. "Let's get you up and bathed." she says.

Your eyes are low when you stand up, stomach rumbling and knees shaking. The woman turns her head to glare at Jeon. "Did you starve the poor girl?" she hisses. "Jeon Jungkook! You're just the same as your father." she looks back to you with softer eyes, "Come with me. We'll get you bathed and fed."

You follow the woman, your mind puzzling together. His name was Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.

Once the older woman took you to a large bathroom, the floor - cold against your bare feet - was marble and clean. So clean you could see your reflection against it. The shower was separate from the large tub and as you turned the water on, you marvelled at how many faucets and power jets of water sprayed out. Soon you were scrubbing your skin roughly with the vanilla scented bodywash to remove the blood stain from it, but nothing felt good enough. You still felt dirty with blood, sweat and even the tears that dried up upon your skin.

You wash your hair with the shampoo that was inside the shower, not caring if the ingredients were good for your hair or not. You didn't have time to care when you were in a foreign home with people you didn't know. You were unsure if the man was allowing you to shower simply because he wanted his payment or because he geniually cared (suddenly) for your appearance and well being.

A knock sounded on the door as soon as you turned off the shower. You watch as the door opens and the woman comes in. She smiles at you warmly and lays down a towel, a robe and under garments. "So you can get out of those old clothes. I'll make sure that boy get's you a closet full of clothes."

You nod. "Thank you." your voice was meek and quiet. She leaves the bathroom and you make your way to dry and dress yourself. You knew you couldn't hide inside of here forever, but you wanted to. You were unaware what was going to happen next with the man that was Jungkook. All you did know was that you were left terrified of him and who he was. Him killing the men in cold blood without batting an eyelash - that only told you he was one of the same of these men, just possibly more powerful.

You twist the doorknob once you are done, poking your head out. The hallway was quiet and there was no sign of the older woman. You contemplated if you should remain in the restroom or wander around. This estate was foreign to you, all you did know was that the man, Jungkook, wasn't going to allow you to leave anytime soon.

You decide to get out of the bathroom, closing the door behind you. You tiptoe down the hall, your bare feet cold against the marble floor. You wrap the robe tightly around you, trying to remember the way you came and go back to the dark room. But luck wasn't upon your side and you find yourself utterly confused as to where to go. Every door appeared the same as the next, all dark, modern and closed. You didn't have the guts to open any and see for yourself, afraid of what's behind it.

"Looking for something?"

You yelp, startled at the sudden voice. You stiffen and turn around with wide eyes.

"You must be Y/N." the man steps closer to you. He reminded you of Jungkook, the way he was attractive with a hint of intimidation. His features were symmetrical, jaw line sharp and angular. It was his eyes that attracted you to him - you were unable to look away. They were as if he was calling you towards him without saying a word. "You are as cute as the little one said you were." he coos.

The man reaches you, his hand coming out to stroke your face. "I can tell you are truly innocent as he says. Never been touched by a man. Or woman - I'm a judgment free man." His laugh captivates you. As close as he was to you now, you could see around his eyes the lightest shade of eyeshadow around them. "Tell me, are you looking for Kookie?"

You're stuck, unsure of how to respond. So you nod your head, assuming "Kookie" was "Jungkook" who you previously met. The man grasps your hand and tugs you closer to him. He interlocks your fingers and soon the two of you are walking down the hall together, hand in hand. It was as though your nervousness - even fear - had gone away. THe closeness between the two of you made your nose catch his scent - a bittersweet aroma that gave off a spicy yet fruity smell; inviting.

"People call me Himeros." the man murmurs to you, his voice in a hushed tone as if it was a secret. You gulp and nod, your little knowledge of greek mythology, you were certain he was the living embodiment of Himeros. "But my family calls me Jimin, and since you're with Kookie, you can call me Jimin, too."

You listen to him talk about random things, remaining in a comfortable silence as he guides you down another hall and soon you're in a large sitting room, surrounded by men in dark suits. 6 men stood out to you - one being Jungkook - their suits were white in contrast to the dark ones surrounding them. They all sat huddled together in a deep conversation when you arrived. They sat on a deep burgundy leather couch, a medium size glass coffee table in the middle - the colors of the room being a mixture of gold, silver and black. Your eyes trained on the men surrounding them, some staring out the large windows. It was at that moment you noticed they held guns - large rifles and a few others you know not a single idea of.

Your nerves kick in again being surrounded by so many unfamiliar faces - all men at that. Your hands unknowingly squeezes Jimin's and he shakes his head. "It's alright. No one here will hurt you." he assures, noticing your uneasiness. "Kookie." his voice sings songs. It makes the group of men sitting stop and look towards your way, eyes scanning you up and down.

Jungkook's eyes lock with your hand in Jimin's. He leans forward, tongue in cheek.

"Don't be that way." Jimin giggles, unlocking your fingers. "She was lost so I brought her here to you. Hospitality." Jimin gentle places his hands on your shoulders, a smile on his lips as he looks towards Jungkook.

"Is this the girl?" a man asks, his voice deep - the deepest you've heard a man have.

You witness Jungkook nod, standing forward. "Y/N." he says to you, his lip curling upwards slowly.

You remain silent, unsure of what to respond with.

"Does she know your name?" a man chuckles, his laugh high-pitched as if laughing at his own (lame but truthful) joke. You wouldn't know his name if it wasn't said by the older woman. "She looks so...scared. Like a little mouse."

"I would be, as well, if I were in a room full of men in nothing but a robe." another man says, he slouches against the couch with a bored expression. "Why did you bring her here and not his room?"

Jimin scoffs. "I do the right thing and it's still wrong, right, little mouse?" Jimin shakes his head and then looks towards you. You nod slowly, unsure of what else to do. Jimin smiles in return. "Well, Kookie," he turns towards the man. "She's all yours. I have a job to do." Jimin's hand slowly pats your shoulders and then he turns around, strolling down the same hall you came from.

"Come." Jungkook says to you, strolling to you and taking your hand in his. "We'll discuss things later, Hyungs." he calls over his back as he saunters down the hall with you.

"But we weren't done-" the deep voiced man starts, but then groans when he realizes Jungkook has no intentions of turning back.

"Damn kid." another man hisses.

Jungkook and you walk for a few minutes before reaching a room. When he opens the door, you realize it isn't the same room you were held in. He gently tugs you inside and closes the door behind you. The room was fairly large in size - double than the one you had been in. You figured the lights inside the room were motion sensored because it lit upon your arrival. In the middle of the room lay a large bed - possibly king size - with an upholstered headboard. The sheets upon the bed were satin and you noticed the amount of pillows spraw upon them.

The bedroom itself was modern and minimalistic, on each side of the bed sat a nightstand. There were 2 doors opposite to one another that you assumed were closed, you assumed they were closet space. "Do you like the room?" Jungkook's voice sounds. "It's much bigger than the last. Come." Jungkook strolls ahead of you to one of the doors. He opens it wide, your eyes trail inside the large room - quite bigger than you expected.

"This is your closet. He'll have to fill it up eventually." he trails off. Your eyes dart around the room - it was bigger than your sitting room back at your apartment. The mirror facing you was large that had lights surrounding it - also sensored. The room had wall shelves that reached the ceiling and a few in-wall drawers. It was luxurious, you'd amit, but you were afraid to ask why he was doing this for someone he paid to sleep with? "Do you like purses? We could display them on the top shelf."

You nod your head, agreeing with whatever he desired so you wouldn't upset or offend him. He smiles and then motions for you to follow him again. He reaches the next door, it opens and displays a bathroom. The floors were the same marble tile as the last one. What caught your eye was the circular bathtub and the large floor length window that displayed outside the estate - a mixture of flowers and vines. The shower was to the right of the bathtub with several faucets while the double sink and vanity mirror displayed on the left.

"My closet is in here." Jungkook says. "It's smaller than yours but does the job."

A knock was what caught you two by surprise. You turn towards the bedroom door then to Jungkook. You watch as he opens it to peek out, then opens it wider once he realizes who it is. "Ah," he smiles. "Food is here. I forgot I ordered food for us."

You were marvelled at the many trays of food coming into the room, all on rolling tables. The men - this time in chef attire - roll in the tables and display it for you and Jungkook. You questioned why Jungkook ordered much food for the two of you - you noticed many amounts of meats, different side dishes and even - as displaced as it was - a few slices of pizza. The last table to be brought it were the drinks and a large bowl of ice.

"I wasn't sure what you enjoyed eating." Jungkook says with a low chuckle. "So I ordered everything I like."

Soon the two of you are eating. You sat yourself far from him, nibbling on the food slowly. Jungkook wasn't shy in his own home or in front of you. He ate as if not swallowing at all, his eyes wide with pleasure. You ate a few more wings and called it enough. You wiped your mouth with the napkin and remain silent, waiting for the man to be done.

"Are you done eating?" Jungkook asks; he realized you hadn't picked anything up in a few minutes. At your nod and releases his grip on the slice of pizza he was holding - the cheese and pepperoni oozing off of it slowly. "Are you-"

"When are you going to fuck me?" you ponder loudly, possibly coming off rude.

Jungkook is taken aback. He turns his head fully to you and raises both brows.

"I...I would rather you get it over with." you murmur. You feel uncomfrotable against his gaze.

"Get it over with?" Jungkook snickers. "I told you already you aren't going back."

You're trembling now, fear overcoming you. You didn't think he would actually keep you here for his own personal reasons. He was a powerful man - you see that now by the way he had men lining up to cater to him. Not only was he powerful and obviously wealthy, but he was attractive and surprisingly young. He has to have women lining up to even get the chance to sleep with him (with nothing in return) yet he has chosen you - someone who only truly needed him for money. 

"Why would you want to leave? I gave you shelter - better than that run down apartment you were in."

Jungkook's tone and words offended you. You didn't come from money. You weren't raised poor either, however, you were raised to work for what you needed. You afforded a well enough apartment in a decent area. You saved up your money to fully furnish your apartment with what money you did have to make it feel like a home; not only that, but you cared for your brothers addictions (unknowingly) and gave a little cash whenever your siblings were low and in need. You didn't need Jeon Jungkook to insult the way you lived.

You turned away from him, your fists clenching. It wasn't smart to talk back to him, he was a man after all and could easily overpower you if needed be. 

"Would you prefer we slept together before the ceremony?" Jungkook sighs. He scotts closer to you, placing the trays of food back upon the rolling tables. "So it'd be easier for you?"

"What ceremony?" you murmur, your head turning towards him. This wasn't making much sense to you. But, you willing to sell your virginity to any man willing to pay wouldn't make sense to anyone - and you refused to tell your siblings such when the time came.

"Our wedding, silly." Jungkook chuckles. He taps your nose as if you were a silly child. Your eyes widen at the statement and when you realize his laughter died down and his eyes narrowed - he was serious. "I told you this was our home, baby. I gave you a large closet for you to fill."

You gulp. Your head was spinning and your stomach churned. The sensation of your body in this state was nothing but uneasiness, you felt lighthead and ready to faint. You snap your body away from him. "I'm not marrying you." your words were stern - as stern as they could be while you were frightened of the man. "That was not the agreement, Jungkook. I would never agree to sell myself to marriage."

"But you are willing to sell your virginity?" Jungkook snaps. "That makes the situation better?"

"No!" you hiss back at him, voice raising. You felt horrible enough that you were willing to give up something sacred to whatever greasy man was willing. But you didn't wish to put your life or those of your family in more danger due to Hyun-woo. "I just-"

"Watch your fucking mouth, Y/N." Jungkook interrupts you with a grasp of your chin. "I got you out of that situation with those men and I managed to kill their boss that was threatening you. How could you be so selfish?" he spits.

You tear your chin from his grasp and yelp. 

"My men are at your disposal. My wealth and power is yours." Jungkook again grabs you, this time his large hands gripping your cheeks to force you to look at him. "You'll be my wife and a part of Bangtan along with my own brothers, their partners and children. I'm the only one left in the family to be wed and bear an heir."

You feel sick. You couldn't help but cry out at the thought of marrying a man and bearing his child without your consent - he didn't give you much choice. This couldn't be your life now, not with a man like this. A man you didn't know anything about and vice versa. 

"Shh, baby, don't cry." Jungkook pulls you into his chest. You didn't fight him and instead allowed yourself to cry into his chest while he caresses your back. "I know it's overwhelming, but you'll be happy with me. I promise. We can see the world, you and I!" he continues to caress you while promising you every and everything - besides your consent and freedom. "Do you like babies?" Jungkook asks suddenly, his hands stopping the patting on your back. "Maybe we can visit Hyung's home tomorrow. He has the cutest daughter! That should be able to cheer you up!"

You cry harder at the thought. 

"Is this necessary?" you ask Byeol, arms crossed. You stood outside your bedroom, facial mask below your lips. 

"Put your mask on, Y/N!" Soobin yells, his eyes wide with shock. "You can't inhale the paint! It's not good for the baby!"

You do as you're told with a roll of your eyes. You hear Byeol giggle beside you. "To him it is."

You were woken up from your afternoon nap by Soobin. He had shook you awake and insisted you leave the room so he could paint it. You were initially irritated by the sudden act, but Soobin wouldn't bulge. He was now painting the room - the wall in which all of Jin-Seon's belongings sat - determined to paint the white clouds as neat as he could. 

"I just wouldn't want to trouble him." you sigh. "And you. This is your home after all. I wouldn't want to intrude." 

Byeol gently slaps your shoulder. "You could never be an intruder, Y'N. You know this now." she shakes her head, upset at the audacity of you thinking you would ever be considered a burden here. "Soobin is just overjoyed that there's more life in the home. It's always just been the two of us."

And overjoyed Soobin was. After he spent two days painting one wall - a simple set of clouds and mountains in different shades of blue and greys, he was done and added a few finishing touches. He adds Jin-Seon's name onto the wall above the crib given to her by Byeol. He then adds a few shelves, already displaying the ultrasound picture he had framed and gifted you. Next to the ultrasound was a picture he took of you off guard - hand resting on your stomach while you munched along on a piece of cake Byeol had made. It wasn't your favorite picture of yourself, but you enjoyed the act of kindness Soobin showed. 

"I still think it's all too much for something temporary." you told Soobin, but your heart was full at the kind gesture. 

"It's never too much when it comes to Jin-Seon. I want him to feel loved." Soobin smiles at you, his eyes squinting. You feel your heart flutter at him, he was entirely too kind for his own good. "And I want you to feel welcomed here. You don't have to leave as soon as Jin-Seon is born."

You let out a sigh. Your eyes glance away from him and to the wall, trying to avoid his gaze. They were making it hard - Vyeol and Soobin - for you to ever want to leave them. Byeol was utterly kind, always making sure to cook you delicious food. She insisted you needed a strong and healthy baby. She oftened wash the sheets and your clothes, even when you insisted you could do it yourself. 

Soobin was much like his mother, always welcoming. He came home everyday with different types of snacks and treats for you to try. He would give you the company you craved after Byeol rested. He encouraged you - ensuring that you would always be in good hands with them. 

"I won't force the two of you to stay." Soobin tells you, his voice low into a whisper. "But there isn't a time limit. You can stay for as long as you need to. This is your home just as it is ours."

Your throat clenches and your heart is now beating faster. You turn to Soobin and offer a trembling smile. He frowns at you. "Y/N. What's wrong?"

You're crying. You are sure it's the hormones. You looked like a crazy fool crying at Soobin. He must feel horrible with himself and questioning what were the words to set you off. 

"You all are so kind to me." you cry, whipping the pathetic tears from your cheeks. "I don't know where I'd be without your hospitality."

Soobin releases a laugh. He brings you closer to him, in a hug. He rubs the top of your back and shakes his head. "You don't have to cry, Y/N." he ensures. "We'll always be here for you and Jin-Seon. I promise." he says. 

Alright so here's Part 1 to Cruel Intentions. This would be a multipart series, I hope going between present to past isn't too much to understand.

Prequel | Next | Masterlist | Part 3

#explicit-tae #btsmasterlist2022 #bangtan smut #bangtanwritershq #bts smut #btswritersclub #cruel intentions #bts mafia #bts yandere #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #mafia jungkook #jungkook yandere #cruel intentions masterlist

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

RPF History: DNP vs DNF

I'm someone who has existed at the generational divide in fanfiction communities. I'm old enough to have started on ff.net and young enough to see fic recs for my Fandom on tiktok. Today I'd like to rant about how much RPF has changed in the last decade or so.

For those who don't know, RPF stands for real person fiction. Famously one direction falls into this category. I'm going to be comparing the two rpf fandoms I've existed in: Dan & Phil and Dream SMP.

Dan and Phil's peak on the internet fell into place with the first generation of youtubers. This generation went from nobodies making videos in their bedrooms to celebrities in an age where fame came from money or more traditional media. The difference between YouTube and traditional media was the focus on relatability. These were normal people, just like their audience. And as a result, a lot of boundaries got crossed.

Specifically in the case of Dan and Phil, there was a lot of shipping. Two nonmasculine emo guys living together for many years? Yeah, a lot of people had suspicions about their sexualities and relationship status. This isn't uncommon today: everyone looked at Dream and George in 2020 and thought the exact same thing, despite them living an ocean apart (this is likely a hallmark of the pandemic: the idea of love existing through screens and despite physical barriers).

The difference was that Fandom back then didn't know how to interact with creators. There were no norms for boundaries. This went far above and beyond awkward questions. People zoomed in, took screenshots and did analysis of everything. If one mentioned buying a fan to use on his bedside table while he slept and it was spotted in the background of a visitor's vlog in another room, then people flipped out. And there were things even worse than this deep cut analysis... if you were in this fandom, you might remember the fallout from the vday video. It was the wild west out there, and it hurt a ton of creators.

Dan and Phil also existed on the internet during a revolution in the fanfiction world: people stopped being afraid of legal consequences for writing fanfic. As a result, fandoms got louder and prouder about their fanworks. It became a lot easier to find. Dan and Phil, who have openly mentioned being on tumblr frequently, ran into it easily.

If you watch enough of their content, you can see Dan and Phil struggling to navigate their position as the subjects of one of the biggest rpf ships of the time. I distinctly remember Dan brushing off shippers at some points and then joking in a video about not caring if you wrote smut about him and Phil so long as you got his favorite Pokémon right. As time goes on, you see less vlogs as they learn to keep more of their privacy.

This fan-creator relationship now looks wildly different, from both ends.

You see creators learning from their predacessors to keep more of their privacy early on. Ranboo and Dream and Corpse are prime examples for not revealing their real names or their faces.

You also see fandoms respecting the boundaries of their creators far more. I can google the name of any dsmp member followed by "boundaries" and get a complete up-to-date list of everything that they are comfortable with their fans doing, from shipping to smut to art to names to pronouns. I've seen Ranboo fans being supportive of him keeping his privacy and not pressing for a face reveal after he expressed his discomfort; in fact, I've seen people weirded out at the idea of knowing what part of his face looks like because they're more used the idea of him keeping his privacy.

But despite all of this, I would say that rpf subjects haven't distanced themselves from shipping and fanfic; they've embraced it and gotten closer to their fans.

Heatwaves was historic in that it was the first fanfiction to go truly mainstream. It caused the popularity of its titular song to skyrocket and it got recognized by every content creator in that space. The author was uncomfortable with the ccs finding it initially, and rightfully so given the past boundary crossing of fandoms and reactions from creators. But they did find it, they made an account to read it, and they were okay with it.

Wilbur Soot is the first instance I've seen of a writer with a work that has an established fan base posting original content for that work to a fanfiction website.

And this week, Dream called himself a "toxic shipper" in a tweet. About shipping himself with his friends. This is very new for the world of rpf.

New Fandom: I want you to understand what it used to be like, where we came from. The norm used to be really bad for both creators and fans. I want you to think of this and keep improving upon what's been built.

Old Fandom: I want you to see how far new Fandom has come. They may not understand how to properly tag things or keep content where it's supposed to go, but they've made leaps and bounds in terms of establishing a fandom-creator relationship.

#fandom history #long post #dnf #phan #rpf #dsmp #mcyt #dnp

[yourmidnightlover]

lost my everything

Summary- while revealing something to spencer, you confess something during the process. he didn't know how to react, which led to a terrible accident in which he might lose you forever.

TW: talk abt mental and physical abuse, alluding to death, talk about self-harm, SAD ENDING

WC- 3,152

a/n - please don't read if you're sensitive to self-harm or talk about emotional and physical abuse because reader goes into discussion about these things. i care about you and your safety so if you need to talk about anything please seek help or my inbox is always open! you are loved and you are needed <3

masterlist

----------------------------------

one thing about being the youngest member of the team meant that the second-youngest member was drawn to you.

that second youngest member happened to be spencer reid.

you had just had another paperwork day today since you got back from one the night previous. you were currently in the conference room discussing the case before we got off-topic, curtesy of spencer's coffee problem.

"i might have a slight problem with my coffee addiction, but there are many studies that go to show the benefits of drinking coffee. supposedly, drinking coffee could extend your life period, strengthen your liver, increase your body's glucose production, and even-"

"okay, that's all for today guys. go home and get rest before a case comes in," hotch interjected and warned.

you placed your hand on spencer's arm, this time underneath the table, as his face began to fall from disappointment. he turned to face and gave a tight-lipped grin before you removed my hand and we both stood up.

"so, spence, my place or yours for the doctor who marathon this time?" you said as he grabbed his bag from his desk.

"we went to mine last, so we can just go to yours this time," he said with his natural pep back. "besides, i kinda like your apartment better," he shrugged with another wide smile.

"clearly you do," you joked. "you almost always say my place," you laughed as you both joined jj. pen, and emily in the elevator.

"hey, y/n, would you wanna go to o'kiefs with us tonight?" jj offered kindly.

"already got plans. maybe next time!" you said with a smile, turning back to see spencer wearing the same smile on your face.

honestly, you and spencer have gone to the bar with the team a few times. you weren't opposed to going with them, you just knew that going meant everyone would pressure you to drink alcohol.

last time, you had succumbed to peer pressure. spencer had to drive you home and hold your hair as you puked into the toilet, it was a very good bonding experience. you didn't remember much, but you do remember you convinced him to stay the night, although he did end up sleeping on the couch rather than in the bed with you.

"after last time, i don't blame you, y/l/n," emily laughed out, giving a concerned look recalling the memories flooding her mind.

"next time we won't pressure you so much!" penny consoled. "i didn't know how much you meant it when you said you can't handle your alcohol," she winced.

"yea... i really meant it," you laughed out, trying to shed some light on the subject. the elevator opened, allowing you to go your separate ways for the night. "have fun you guys!" you called as you walked to your car with spencer.

spencer and you have been carpooling to work ever since you learned he took the metro to work and only lived a couple blocks from your apartment complex. you couldn't stand the thought of something bad happening to him while on the train, so you've offered to give him a ride there and back ever since.

in return, spencer insisted on paying for daily coffee runs for the two of you. it was his way 'of returning the fuel money in another type of fuel.'

you and spencer crawled into the car and began the drive back to your place. it wasn't too long to your place, only a 20-minute drive, but being with spencer made it feel like half that.

"do you even remember what happened the last time you went to the bar with them?" spencer laughed.

"not exactly..." you grimaced. "just that you took me home, there was a bit of puking, and i coerced you to stay the night. and you slept on the couch, which is absolutely ridiculous! i mean, i was the one who practically made you stay, so shouldn't i have slept on the couch? it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before," you ranted.

"you're right, we have slept in the same bed before," he clarified. "but each time we did that you weren't drunk out of your mind," he sassed.

"ha-ha, spence," you mocked. "i did say i couldn't handle my alcohol. is there anything you wanna fill me in on?"

truthfully, yes.

there was something he wanted to fill you in on.

he wanted to tell you how you confessed your past to him.

he wanted to tell you how you kissed him right after...

and he kissed you back.

he could still remember the way your lips tasted, still covered by the vodka from the shots you took hours before.

but he didn't want you to think less of him since he kissed you back.

he just couldn't help it.

he'd been helplessly in love with you for so long, yearning to be with you as more than friends... as more than what he thought you wanted. but that kiss was his hope.

it was hope that maybe you felt a fraction of the chemistry he did. it was hope that maybe even if you didn't like him, you still had an attraction towards him in some kind of way. it was hope that maybe you would grow those same feelings for him.

but no matter how much 'hope' that kiss gave him, he shouldn't have kissed you back. he knew how vulnerable you were by telling him about your history of abuse.

you told him about your parents. about how they would throw you around when they were high, or drunk, or both. you told him about how they would call you worthless, a whore, stupid, good-for-nothing, basically every name in the book. but you didn't tell him about how you coped with the abuse.

so, when he told you how amazing you are to be able to turn your life around how you did, and how beautiful you are and always have been, you couldn't help but embrace him with a kiss.

you kissed him.

and he kissed you.

in a wonderful, vulnerable moment, he kissed you back as he'd always wanted to each night you spent with each other.

"nope," he shook his head. "nothing to fill you in on."

"i guess that's good," you shrugged.

he also wanted to know if you'd ever tell him about what happened when you were in your right mind. he wanted to know that you trusted him with your darkest secret that you accidentally already spilled to him.

although, maybe you should know about what you admitted to him. it was your life, after all. it was your past that you revealed to him in a simple drunken mistake.

"actually..." spencer started, taking a deep breath as he looked into your eyes. "you did mention something."

"okay... what'd i mention?" you wondered.

"you told me about..." he tried to find the right words to say. "about your parents."

"oh...?" you began to realize what you had admitted to him that very night, still not remembering the events that followed. "i didn't want you to find out like that..." you trailed off.

"i figured you didn't," he gave a small grin. you looked over at him hesitantly.

you thought about all the ways you could react to this. you could block him out and act like it was his fault you drunkenly confessed your past. you could ignore the fact that you told him at all and just move on, burrowing all the emotions inside of you once again. or, you could try to finally move on from what happened and how you coped with it by talking to spencer about it.

"when we get to my place, would you mind if we held off on the marathon? i should probably elaborate a bit more," you asked meekly.

"of course we can. we can do whatever you want tonight, y/n," he soothed, placing a hand on your lower thigh comfortingly.

you drove back to your place in silence, the both of you anticipating the conversation awaiting you.

when you finally entered your apartment, you both shed your coats by the door, hanging them on the hook, placed your guns and badged on the table beside the hook, and sat down on the couch comfortably. you crossed your legs, your knee up in the air, as spencer sat down with his knee touching the one still on the couch.

"so... how much did i say?" you asked curiously.

"you talked about the emotional and physical abuse, but nothing too in depth," he confirmed.

"when i was young, about 12, my parents got into a minor car accident," you began telling him about your past, trying to recall the memories with little hurt or pain. "they weren't at fault, it was a drunk teenager, but they each got addicted to their pain meds from the hospital. i would be asleep when they would come home from a night out, drunk and high out of their minds. i remember the first night it happened. i wandered in the living room, curious of what the ruckus was, and was greeted by my dad's hand slapping me across my face," you chuckled humorlessly, not knowing what other reaction was appropriate.

"he told me i shouldn't have been up or seen what they were doing. he was furious," you furrowed your brows as tears began to well in your eyes at the memory as spencer gingerly placed his hand comfortingly on your knee, scooting a tad bit closer to you. "after that night it became almost a pattern of his. he would come home and then get upset from his high coming down, and take it out on me. my mom just laughed and watched as he would hit me."

"eventually, they started just belittling me. they would say i was a coward for not standing up for myself. they would say i was stupid, or worthless. they especially liked to call me 'a waste of space,' i think that one was their favorite," you took a shaky, deep breath as you knew you were about to reveal for the first time to anyone what you would do to cope with the abuse.

"eventually i started to believe them. i started to believe the things they said about me. i thought i truly was an ugly, undeserving, piece of garbage," you turned to see spencer's eyes full of tears, mirroring your own. "i would self-harm because i believed them. each night after they were done with their own abuse, i felt so... frustrated. the only way i could get that frustration out was to do that. the scars are still there, taunting me of how weak i was to not just endure the pain," you finished.

you didn't even realize tears were streaming down your eyes until you noticed the few on spencer's cheek. he reached his hand up to wipe the tears on your face, ignoring that of his own.

"you aren't weak, y/n. you are unbelievably strong for getting through that. you have to know how amazing you are," he told you, demanding you to see you the way he saw you.

because the way he saw you, you were beyond perfect. you were so much stronger for going through that. if anything, knowing you went through that made him think you were that much more amazing.

and honestly, the way you were thinking is that when you told spencer, he might think less of you. he might think you were dumb for doing that to yourself, inflicting pain upon your own body to relieve yourself of pain.

that was anything but true.

"s-so you don't think any less of me?" you asked confused, looking into his eyes for any tells of his lying.

"absolutely not. if anything i think you're stronger now that i know what you've endured," he assured you, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he moved even closer to you.

"thank you so much, spencer," you said as you lunged forward, your arms immediately pulling him closer around his neck into a hug.

"you don't need to thank me, y/n," he started as he rubbed circles in your back soothingly. "if it helps anything at all... i think your amazing. i always have, and i always will."

"spencer..." you pulled back and looked into his eyes. "just... i need to tell you one more thing."

"alright," he nodded, prompting you to continue.

"i uhm, i'm in love with you," you bit your lip in anticipation for his response.

he didn't say anything.

he couldn't say anything.

he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how.

he didn't even know if you actually said that, or if you were just a figment of his imagination.

because at this point, he felt so much more for you than love.

he was infatuated with you.

but you read it as rejection, so you quickly unhinged your arms from around his neck and retreated into a ball while on the couch.

"i-i'm sorry," you said after quickly realizing the reality of the situation.

he didn't feel the same.

"you d-don't need to say it back. i shouldn't have sprung that on you. i-i've just felt that way for so long, and i thought that maybe you did too, but i shouldn't have assumed anything. i'm so sorry," you looked at him, waiting for him to say anything. to admit anything.

"oh god, and i just spilled everything to you," you ran your hand through your hair.

silence.

"i think i need to go for a walk," you said, getting up from the couch and rushing out the door after grabbing your coat.

you opted for taking the stairs to run outside, being the quickest option.

spencer was speechless, still sitting on your couch, dumbfounded.

he was overwhelmed with emotions.

you loved him?

he couldn't believe that someone so smart, so beautiful, so kind, so funny, so... everything would ever love him.

and he was too late to say it back.

he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that you loved him, so he just sat there in awe of this revelation.

by the time he realized what you had said, and was ready to say it back, you were already out of the door and down the stairs.

you were walking all too fast with tears flooding your eyesight.

you had just lost the one person you loved the most. the one person who's always there for you. the only person you've felt a connection with. you lost your everything.

by the time spencer ran down the stairs in an attempt to chase you, you were nowhere to be found. he could always call your cell, but he wanted to admit his undying love and affection in person, not over some dumb cellular device.

you didn't know where you were going, just letting your feet take you wherever they pleased. it had been a bit cold and you had left everything at your place, so you began rubbing your arms in search for more friction.

you were walking around a corner when you were pulled into an alley by some random white guy. with a harsh hand on your arm, you whined out quietly from the sudden pain.

you didn't have your gun.

"money! NOW!" he demanded. you stayed there with tears in your eyes, too emotional to speak.

your wallet was back at the house.

"are you too dumb to speak? i said MONEY!" he said, pushing a gun you were now made aware of into your stomach.

"i-i don't have my wallet," you admitted with a shaky voice, tears now streaming down your face faster than before.

the night was supposed to be another night with spencer, watching your favorite show and being with your favorite person. you were supposed to be cuddled up on his couch, probably falling asleep in his arms by now.

and now you were being mugged and were probably going to get hurt in one way or another.

"and why is that, doll?" he pushed the gun further into your lower stomach .

"i-i was in a r-rush. i s-swear i d-don't have anyth-thing!" you stuttered, trying to convince him to let you go.

"too bad... you've already seen my face. let's hope you have a nice nap," he growled before pulling the trigger, a bullet running through your lower stomach.

spencer was near you when the bullet went off. he was walking home.

you didn't even realize it, but you were walking in the direction of your love's own home when you were ambushed.

he heard the gun go off.

he naturally ran into the alley with his gun raised, ready to fire at anyone fleeing the scene. he managed to take the guy down with a single bullet before realizing it was you who was shot.

he quickly grabbed his phone and dialed 911 and demanded an ambulance at the corner of 5th and maine, alerting them that an agent was down.

"Y/N!" he yelled, running to kneel beside your limp body. "please, no..." he pleaded.

he put his hand to your neck in an attempt to find any pulse. there was a weak one. there was that hope again. he pulled you onto his lap, your body now resting atop his.

"stay with me. i-i didn't get to tell you how i felt," he cried as he put pressure on where the blood was coming out.

"sp-spencer?" you asked, barely regaining consciousness.

"it's me, y/n. i'm here," he soothed, running a hand through your hair to move it from your face.

"i'm s-s-sorry," you choked out, feeling your eyelids become heavier by the second.

"no. don't apologize to me," he told you. "i should be apologizing."

"it's n-not... your... fault," you felt your breath coming slower, the weight on your chest becoming unbearable.

"i-if i would've just told you how i felt..." he began thinking about how horrible a mistake he had made.

sirens were nearing, hope was becoming greater. spencer clung to your body tighter than ever as if holding you closer to him would will your heart to beat stronger, even if it was for just a bit longer.

"i-i..." you took another uneven breath, reaching your hand up slowly to wipe a tear from his face. "lo-love..." another breath. "you," you finished, your hand cascading down from his face and falling limp onto spencer’s lap, now accepting your own fate as the ambulance was now right outside the alley.

there was a moment when spencer thought maybe you’d wake up. you’d come back to him. but once they loaded you into the ambulance he had to accept one thing.

he had lost his everything...

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer x y/n #spencer x reader #sad ending

[deanandthephantoms]

We're a Perfect Harmony PT.3 - Reader x Charlie

This is Chapter 3 of my Perfect Harmony story. You can read Chapter 1 here and Chapter 2 here if you haven't yet. In this chapter we'll see what life after camp is like for y/n and Charlie.. Enjoy!

Missing you more than i should..

When I got home I was overwhelmed by the amount of silence in my home. I used to love being home, curling up on the couch watching a movie or reading a book in silence. I hated loud, crowded places and now I actually missed it? What happened to me? Who am I?! I thought to myself..

“Y/N is that you?” I heard my mom call out from the living room. “Hi mom!” i said while walking up to her and giving her a big hug. “How are you doing honey? How was it?” I hadn’t really spoken to my mom at all during the week, I had let her know once that I was doing alright and that was basically it. “It was incredible mom. I had the best group of people surrounding me..” and so I told her everything about my new group of friends and everything we had done during the week.. “Thanks for making me go mom.” “You’re glowing Y/N! I’m so happy you had such a good time. I honestly felt bad for making you go when I saw how nervous you were.” “yeah.. I kind of hated you for that.. but I guess sometimes mom really does know best.” After talking to my mom I decided to lay down for a bit all those late night chill sessions with Charlie and a night of not sleeping at all was really taking it’s toll, I don’t think I had ever been this tired before. I fell asleep with a smile on my face only to wake up the next freaking day at 10am. I slept for 15 hours I really had been tired.. I picked up my phone to see I was indeed added to the girls group chat, I was also in a chat with our entire camp group and Charlie had , like he promised, sent me a private text. Seeing that put a smile on my face. Now I know what you’re thinking.. but I really just liked him as a friend that’s all. I opened his message.

“Good morning Nugget! On a scale of 1 to 100% dead.. how tired are you?” I raised my eyebrow at the nugget part, no idea where that was coming from. Without hesitation I replied.. “ Hellllooooo! Nugget? What’s up with that? Very bold of you to assume that I was even tired to begin with by the way.. but to answer your question, I have slept for 15 hours.. that says something doesn’t it?” I was about to put my phone down assuming Charlie would take his sweet time to reply. But no. the 3 dots that told me he was typing appeared almost instantly and  seconds later this popped up on my screen; “15 HOURS?! Really? Are you sure you weren’t dead and came back to life or something? I thought I was bad with my 12 hours.. I’m blaming you for the fact I’m so tired by the way.” He’s blaming me?! Excuse me? “Pardon? What? What did I do?!” “You kept me up till at least 3am every night only to be woken up again at 7am.. i’ve never been so tired coming home after camp. So yes I’m blaming you Nugget.” “The nugget again? Really? Anyway. I’m not sorry. You kept ME up actually. I’m blaming you Charlie.” “Yes Nugget. You mentioned once you like nuggets. I’m calling you nugget now. You can’t stop me. Oh and I’m not sorry either 😉” “Riiight. Don’t expect me to start calling you after one of your gross foods.. but all jokes aside, i’m glad you’re not sorry. I mean, all those late nights might be one of my favorite things of last week.”  “Really? I genuinely thought I annoyed the shit out of you.” That text made me laugh. “Don’t get your hopes up Gillespie. You sure did. Apparently you’re just the type of guy who gets away with it.” I teased. “Ouch.. that hurt. :( “ is all I got as a reply. Which caused my brain to go in full panic mode, did I just really hurt my new friend? Oh god what if this ruined it all? As fast I could I sent him “I’m sorry! I’m just kidding! You know that right?! You didn’t annoy me at all dude, in fact you did the opposite you made me feel super chill and comfortable..” I stared at my screen for what felt like hours, in reality it was probably more like 5 minutes but I got no reply..

I sighed deciding to ignore my own stupid actions I got up from my bed and went downstairs making myself some breakfast. Sitting down at the table I actually found myself missing the man that had sat opposite of me the entire week. I was missing the man that made me feel sick with his strange food combinations. Missing the man that called me out for looking dead after 3 hours of sleep. Missing the man that annoyed me with how loud he was so early in the morning. Don’t get me wrong I missed the others as well they had all, in their own way, made that week a very good week for me. I had just connected with Charlie in a different way, he seemed to really get me, he understood where I was coming from. He had not once judged me, he made me come out of my comfort zone.. My phone buzzed on the table, my hand flew straight to it and picked it up only to see Charlie had replied. I felt my heart speed up and started feeling very nervous. Why was this happening? why was i scared for his reply? We had been teasing each other right from the start. This could not have been so bad that I ruined everything, right?!

With a deep sigh I opened our chat back up. “Y/N calm down. I know. I was just kidding too! Good to know I made you feel that way though. You do realize you did the same for me right? You made me feel better when I was feeling down. I really appreciate that.” I couldn’t help but let out a big sigh of relief. Thank god everything was alright. Why did I care so much? I had known this man for 8 days. Why was I already so afraid of ruining this friendship? “Charlie, I swear to god, you can never do that to me again! I thought I ruined it all..” I typed, but deleted. I didn’t want him to know a simple joke made me go into full panic mode, he’ll think I’m crazy.. so instead I went with “ha-ha, very funny Gillespie. And hey, cheering each other up, that’s what friends are for right? 😊” “Yeah definitely. You didn’t have to do that though, you barely knew me. Yet seemed to know me better than the people I’ve known for years. You noticed things others didn’t notice or they just decided to ignore it. You didn’t. You’re a good friend Nugget. I’m thankful for getting a chance to meet and know you.”

Reading that made me feel al warm and fuzzy inside I just sat there at the kitchen table with a dumb goofy smile on my face. That’s when my mom walked in. “What are you smiling about?” “ohhh nah it’s nothing.” I simply replied, hoping my mom would buy it. Too bad for me my mom knew me longer than today. “It’s a boy, isn’t it?” “Mom! I.. eeh.. no?.. I mean.. well technically.. Yes. But no. Charlie is just a friend mom.” And I truly believed I felt that way, my mom clearly didn’t though ..”oh alright, well we’ll see.” She replied. Before leaving me once again to get back to her office. I directed my attention back to the screen “You’re a good friend too Charlie. I’m thankful my mom made me go to camp. Thankful I now can call a few amazing people my new friends. I really miss you guys. Is that weird?” “Thank your mom from me for making you go! 😉 And no, that’s not weird. We all feel that way after camp. Don’t worry the feeling will vanish over time and we’ll keep in touch through texts and facetime!” “Facetime huh? Why don’t we facetime later, you can thank my mom yourself haha!” i texted half jokingly but Charlie seemed to think it was a good idea. We kept sending text to each other the rest of day and I noticed I was looking forward to seeing his face again. I missed his bright smile, his facial expressions that said everything for me. His eyes that showed he was fully invested in whatever you’re telling him. I missed his hugs. They really were the best hugs I had ever had. I sighed at the thought of having to miss those for a whole year.. Can’t exactly hug through facetime, can you?

Later that night Charlie called me on facetime, accepting his call I saw his bright smile pop up on my screen. “Nuggeeettt!” he screamed at me sounding all excited. I couldn’t help but instantly feel happy and laugh at him. I refused to get used to that nickname but also decided not to fight him on it tonight. “Gillespieeeeeeee!” I just screamed back at him earning a big smile in return. “Soo, first things first, get me to your mom, I need to thank her.” “Your wish is my command sir!” I reply as I get up from my bed to find my mom. I find her in the livingroom on the couch. “Hey mom, Charlie wants to tell you something” I say while handing her the phone. “Hello Mrs.Y/L/N!” “Ah, so you’re Charlie! I’ve already heard quite a bit about you.” If looks could kill I would have killed my own mom right then and there.. “Yes.. that would be me. I just wanted to thank you for sending your daughter to camp. She has been a good friend to all of us.” My mom laughed “You’re welcome dear. Thank you for doing the same to her” My mom then handed me my phone back. Giving her one last glare I make my way back to my bedroom. “Sorry about that..” I say to Charlie while walking upstairs. “Sorry for what? Your mom seems lovely. No need to be sorry.” Thankful for the fact he apparently did not pick up on the whole ‘heard quite a bit about you.’ I let out big breath I apparently had been holding in.

I sat back down on my bed and luckily for me Charlie had grabbed his guitar “so. How about we continue our little tradition of singing? Name a song and we’ll sing it.” He said with the biggest smile. I was just glad I did not have to explain why I apologized and quickly started thinkin of a song. “Do you know High hopes by Kodaline? It’s not the happiest song, but it’s sooo good!” “I’m kind of offended by the fact you’re even asking me if I know it.. It’s actually one of the first songs I learned to play on this guitar.” And before I could apologize for offending him I heard the first chords of High hopes being played. As if we were still on camp we sang a few songs, granted it didn’t go as smooth thanks to delay in the video and such but still it was nice. After a few songs I heard my mom come up and calling out a good night. “Char.. I think I’m gonna have to go. My mom is going to bed so you know I gotta be quiet now…” “Nooo! don’t hang up just yet. We can still just talk for a bit right?” I was caught of guard by his plea for me to stay. “I, eh. Yeah. Yeah we can. Of course we can. Give me a second though. I’m gonna change into my PJ’s.” and with that I threw my phone on the bed, grabbing my oversized Rush t-shirt that basically functioned as a sleeping dress. “Nice ceiling you’ve got there nugget.” I heard Charlie call out. Giving him a chuckle as response. Once I changed into my PJ’s I picked my phone up and brought Charlie with me to the bathroom. “Loving the house tour Y/N, where are we going now?” “To the bathroom. I need to brush my teeth.” “oh right let me go do the same!” and he sprinted of with me to his own bathroom. About a minute later we were brushing our teeth together. causing us both to giggle at each others charming facial expressions.

After I was done I went back to my bedroom and crawled into bed making myself comfortable. “sooo I assume you don’t want to be here when I go pee right?” “Eeew Charles! No. Either hang up the phone or put me somewhere far away!” He laughed at me “Yeah thought so.  I’m not hanging up so let me just put you down on my bed.” “ Oof.. That also sounds a bit strange sir.. But sure. You do that.” “kinda does, doesn’t it?” he laughed “Okay, I’ll be back, don’t go anywhere.” And with that I was staring at Charlie’s ceiling waiting for him to come back.. which he did incredibly quickly.

Crawling into his own bed he picked me up only to instantly put me back down again."You actually waited for me!" He said while I could see him taking off his shirt nothing I had not seen before but still a sight I sure was not mad about. “of course i waited, why would i leave without saying goodbye?” i reply before Charlie fell back down on the bed and picked me back up, trying to get comfortable he was tossing and turning a bit. “You alright there, Charlie?” I said half teasingly. “Yeah, quite comfortable actually. You? I really like your shirt by the way.” Why did I feel myself starting to blush? Acting as if nothing was happening to me I replied in my chillest and coolest way; “Yeah I’m alright. Very comfortable as well actually. Nothing beats sleeping in your own bed right?” “I don’t know about that nugget, I could think of a thing or two I totally would pick over sleeping in my own bed.” “Really like what?” When I see a mischievous smile appear on his face i’m suddenly scared of the answer I’m about to get. “Oh you know..” He falls silent with that same damn smile on his face. When I raise an eyebrow at him he continues; . “You know, Sleeping in a tent at festivals, or just camping with some friends in a beautiful piece of nature or something.” i let out a sigh of relief “oh righttt. Yeah i’m fully on board with all of that.”

Charlie and I talked for another hour while we we’re both laying in our beds. At some point I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier, and I kept fighting it as hard as I could. I was enjoying this conversation way too much for me to go to sleep now. I totally believed I was hiding it from Charlie as well. I clearly didn’t though..“Hey Y/N?” “Mhhmm?” “You’re about to fall asleep aren’t you?” I’m silent for a while now really almost falling asleep. “Goodnight nugget.” I suddenly hear Charlie say softly. That wakes me back up a bit. “NO!” I clear my throat before continuing “I mean.. no I’m not tired..” “Oh really you’re not tired huh?” Charlie starts to imitate the way I had been acting and reacting the last 20 minutes. “okay okay Fine. Stop it Gillespie. You win, Nighty night Charles.” “night night Y/N. Talk to you again tomo.. well in a few hours,” He gives me one last sweet smile before I close my eyes and I hear Charlie hang up the phone right as I’m about to fall asleep. 

Charlie and I kept in contact like that every single day. We didn’t start our day without wishing each other a good morning and refused to go to bed without wishing each other a goodnight and giving each other a virtual hug. During our schooldays we took every free second to text and we made sure to hype each other up when something important had to be done. Late nights were still being made but the few hours of sleep never seemed to bother me. I was basically running on 4 to 5 hours of sleep each day and was doing just fine. i didn’t even come close to feeling tired and was ready to do it all over again the next day. Months passed spending my time just like that..

I had been in contact with all of them on the regular and today i was actually meeting up with Madison who lived somewhat close to me. I was so excited to see her again. We had agreed to meet at a train station and that’s where I was now waiting for her to arrive. Y/N! I hear Madison yell out. I look in the direction the voice was coming from, I see Madison and run up to her to embrace her in a hug. "Madiiiiii! I missed you! How youu doing?" I let go of her and she laughs at me. "How you doin? Charlie, is that you? " Leaving no room for me to defend myself she continues "kidding, I'm great! How are youu giiirl?" while catching up on how life has been we walk to the restaurant where we had made lunch reservations.

“Sooo” Madison said once we were sat at our table. “ Soo.. what?” i asked the girl who was grinning at me. “ Sooo what’s up with you and Charlie?” i give her a confused look.”What do you mean? We’re friends, Mads. You already knew that though..” Madi laughs at me. “ Really Y/N? That’s all you’re giving me? I know you and Charlie have been talking pretty much non-stop..” I can feel the blood flowing to my cheeks when I say “Well yeah, yeah we have. And yes I have enjoyed every minute of that. But that doesn’t mean anything is going on between us. We just get along very well. Besides, he’s still with Emma so I’m sorry to disappoint you but we’re just friends..” Madi just looks at me for a while before a smile spreads on her face.” What?” I ask her. “ You like him.” She simply states with the biggest smile.” What?! Mads I just told you..” I blurt out a little too loud and a little too fast to actually be somewhat convincing.. causing Madison to laugh at me again. “ Girl you soooo do! “

By now I feel like I'm looking like a tomato, bright red, and i don’t even know why. I truly believed I liked Charlie as a friend, nothing more nothing less. Sure he was the sweetest man i had ever met and sure he believed in me like no one had ever done. and yes we had this incredible connection and were on the same wavelength on so many topics. Yes he got me, yes I felt safe enough to fully be myself and fully be honest with him about everything. aaaand yes he was goood looking. But i didn’t like him like that. I Couldn’t. He was with Emma. Me and him were just friends. I would not let myself get a crush on this guy. It would ruin everything. “ Look Mads. I’m not gonna lie. I do miss hanging out with him in real life and Charlie does make me very happy. But i don’t like him like that. He’s just a good friend to me.” Madison clearly was not convinced.”Sure, keep telling yourself that Y/N.”

And I did. In the following weeks I kept telling myself I didn't like him. I just missed him that was all. The more I talked to Charlie and the more the girls teased me about liking him the less I started to believe my own excuses. Untill the day i couldn’t deny it any longer. I totally liked Charlie more than a friend..

- read chapter 4 here

#Charlie gillespie #made by me #written by me #my story #reader #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #Julie and the phantoms #jatp #reader x charlie #charlie x reader #Y/N #Charlie x Y/n #Perfect harmony #Charlie gillespie fic #charlie gillespie story #jatp story #jatp fic

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Eighteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Seventeen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Nineteen

I remember the first time I really wanted to see New York. I must have been about 12 years old and was watching a random episode of Friends that was on TV. I saw those flashes of the city between one scene and another, and I thought it was amazing, the great stone jungle.

When I turned 16, my dad gifted me with a trip to New York, not because it was my favorite place in the world, but because it was on sale. There were 10 days where the only time I stopped to rest was bedtime. We went to almost every tourist spot, took thousands of photos and it was definitely one of the best trips I've ever been on.

Now, the city that I once wanted to know and live in, like the characters in Friends, felt like a prison. I wasn't there of my own free will or for a truly irrefutable proposal. I was there out of fear and passion, the most dangerous mixture.

I believe that at some point, a few months from now, I'm going to start loving New York, but right now, I can only feel contempt.

I pass through the arrivals gate, looking at those millions of unfamiliar faces, waiting for someone. I'm looking for a sign with my name or the logo of the Hastings Agency.

I find my name in the hands of a boy a little taller than me. Dark hair and fair skin, he needs sun. In an impeccable suit, but fumbling with his cell phone and notepad.

I approach slowly, able to hear his voice, replaying a million things. He said something about waiting for me to arrive and taking me to the hotel. Something about treating me kindly and not asking questions. I stop in front of him with a sympathetic smile, watching him widen his eyes and quickly turn off his cell phone.

“Miss McGonagall, welcome to New York.” he takes my hand, squeezing it and shaking it quickly. “I'm Edward. I will be responsible for your schedule.” I can't control the smile, noticing him nervousness. In other words, he was my Noah.

“Hi! Yeah, you can call me Marnie, that's fine. I prefer, actually.”

“Oh! Of course.” his cheeks turn pink. “Well, I'll drop you off at the hotel to rest and tomorrow at 8:00 am you should be at Valentino's studio for the rehearsal of the new bag collection. At 2:45 pm you should already be at Chanel's studio, they want to take your measurements and do some color and fabric tests for the fashion show at the end of the month. Then, at 5:00 pm, you will participate in the E! podcast, and I believe that after that you will be free for the rest of the day.” he passes it on to me as we head out of the airport.

“OK!” that's all I have to say.

“Sorry if I'm being nosy, but were you the one who required a lot of work for the next two months? I mean, you have a really busy schedule. If you don't want something, I can try to help.” he flips through the calendar while we wait for a car.

“No! It's OK. I was the one who asked. I was down for a while and I need to get back to work.” I give a slight smile, debating. "Hm, was the doctor I asked for by any chance be marked?"

“Yes! Wednesday at 3pm.” he smiles proudly, making me smile too. Edward seems like a nice guy.

We got into a silver car and went to the hotel. Along the way, Edward answers a few calls, closing in on his tasks. I seize the moment and close myself in my own world. I get my cell phone, turning it on and seeing that tsunami of people looking for me. Missed calls, messages, dm on twitter and instagram, everyone looking for me, but not him.

I lock my cell phone, trying to focus my mind on the new beginning I sought for myself. I admire the city through the car window, trying to find a piece of home there. I feel the phone vibrate in my lap with Kyleen's name, but I just decline the call. In seconds, the screen lights up again and several messages come in, I believe they are hers, but I don't even bother to look. I have no courage.

The car stops in front of the Intercontinental, and just like that, Edward jumps out of the car.

“Your loft, unfortunately, is not ready yet. So you're going to have to stay here for a few days.” he explains, heading towards the reception desk.

I stand behind him, taking in the details of the hotel. Before long, I'm entering a room on the 14th floor, with a beautiful view of the city. The bags are left in the small room before the bedroom.

I smile at my new “Noah” showing that everything is perfect.

“Good! I'll let you rest for tomorrow. Anything, these are my phones.” he gives me a card. "And you can call me at any time. I live near here, I will come in a few minutes.”

“Thank you so much, Edward. You are very kind." Again, your cheeks turn pink.

As he heads for the door, I start rummaging through my bags for pajamas.

“Hm, sorry if I'm not being professional right now, but since I believe we'll be working together in the next few months, I imagine a good relationship is essential, so you can call me Eddie.”

I open an even bigger smile, seeing that Eddie was willing to make a friendship, which is perhaps the thing I need most at the moment.

“Thanks, Eddie!” he smiles and this time he walks away, leaving me alone again.

I go back to looking for a more comfortable outfit, ignoring my cell phone blinking on the table as I muted it. I grab my clothes, heading to a shower and stay there for a long time, letting the water take everything.

When I get out of the shower, I pick up the bedroom phone, dialing my mother's number, I don't want to take the risk of answering any of my cell phone calls.

"Hello?" her lost tone makes me smile weakly.

“Hi Mom!”

“Hi, my love. How are you? Marnie, what's going on? Leah came here to say you left without saying goodbye. I called Luke, but he did not answer me and Noah said something about you being to move to New York, you told me it would be just a month.” I cover the phone, not wanting her to hear my cry, letting the tears fall. "Marnie?"

“I'm sorry, Mom.” I can't control my voice and pretend it's okay.

“Honey, what's going on? You can tell me. Mom will help you.” I realize she wants to cry too, and that hurts me more.

“I needed to do this, needed to get away from him.” the revelation comes out before I can see it.

"He who? Luke? Why? I thought everything was fine.” her desperate tone returns.

“I'm sorry I can't talk.” I close my throat, holding back tears. “I just want to let you know that I arrived well and that everything is fine.”

“Fine? Marnie, just look at your voice, your condition. I saw what you did to the apartment. Honey, things aren't fine.” now she was angry.

“Mom, please just trust me. I know what I'm doing.” Do I? I clear my throat, holding back the emotion. “I just wanted to call to say I got okay. Later we'll talk.” I hang up the phone before she asks anything else.

I head to the bathroom, drying my hair. I notice that yesterday's anger is still in me as I can't face my image in the mirror, refusing to look deep into my eyes.

With dry hair, I go back to my room, thinking about taking a nap, since I haven't slept all night and even less on the flight. I close my eyes, trying to focus my thoughts on something else. I think about that taxi I saw earlier, trying to park. Or people crossing the street without looking at the sign. At the cookie shop I want to see.

I manage to evade Luke's, my mother's, John's, and Noah's voices, giving myself more and more to the sleep that finally came. Far away, I hear someone knocking hard on the door, but I ignore it, as I had the same thoughts yesterday morning. But I wake up when the pounding comes back stronger and Leah's voice enters the room.

“Marnie Elizabeth McGonagall, open this shit now before I drop it and you know I'm capable of it.” I leap out of bed, running to the door.

She can’t be here.

I open the door, revealing Leah with perhaps the worst expression I've ever seen in the world. She was furious, if not more so. As she storms into my room without waiting for an invitation, I quickly look down the hall, seeing a couple look at me startled. I smile awkwardly, closing the door.

“What are you doing here?” I question, still not understanding.

"What are you doing here? And without warning anyone. Fading in the morning. Breaking up with Luke. What the fuck was that?” she screams.

For a second, I see that my amnesia was an issue with my plan. By not remembering my friendship with everyone, I really believed that I just left and everything would be fine. I didn't imagine anyone would cross the country for me, to understand what was going on.

And if Leah did it, it's a matter of hours before someone else does. They weren't going to leave me alone, they weren't going to forget me, and they weren't going to let this story pass. I need to push them away, but I don't know how.

"Go on, Marnie. What the fuck is going on? And if you tell me it's a job offer, I swear I'll fly at you without pity or mercy, and I'll slap the truth out.” she cross her arms.

I consider the last option a lot because I know she can do it. But I won't tell her the truth, that's not an alternative. I want to believe that if I don't back off, she'll see I'm not lying and won't attack me. And even if she tries, I just run away, I'm closer to the door and there's an armchair between us.

"But it is what it is!" I shrug.

“Stop it!” she screams. “Stop lying, Marnie. Everyone. Everyone knows you're lying, so why don't you tell the truth?” she waves her hands through the air.

“Because there's no other truth, Leah. Will I have to draw it for you?” I make the same moves she does.

“Be my guest!” she sits on the couch. I sigh wearily. I haven't slept for hours, I'm angry with myself and the world and now that I thought the situation was resolved and I just had to go on with my life, she comes and messes everything up.

“Why are you here?” I stay upright.

“I do not know! It must be cause you went crazy and disappeared without saying anything. Didn't answer my calls, no one had any answers about what was going on. So I took my father's jet and came to resolve this situation and I don't leave here without an answer at least.”

In the same way I laugh at Noah, I laugh at her, thinking it will fix everything. Leah carries the same expression as her brother, neutral, mocking.

“Why did you break up with Luke?” she asks quietly.

The mention of his name makes me shiver. I notice how my stomach turns and try to ignore it. I wonder if I can subtly extract some information from his state, but I don't want her to think I still care about him.

"Cause I wasn't in the mood anymore." I shrug, walking through space.

“My God, you've actually lied better.” I glare at her. “You know you're in trouble here, I know you better than anyone. I know you are lying and that you are going through some difficult situation. I even have my theories. So you're going to have to work a lot harder to trick me or get me out of here.” she cracks a smile, feeling victorious.

"Oh do you have? What are your theories?” I mock her.

“The first is that you really freaked out with amnesia and you can't handle it. The second is that you can't handle your feelings about Luke, it happened once before. And the third is that someone put some shit in your head and made you believe that everything would be better if you were out of the way.” I feel her gaze burning into me, looking for any reaction.

I let out a laugh, not forced, nervous that she got it right. Leah raises an eyebrow.

“You really traveled on your theories. Sorry, none are right.”

As if by magic, the answer appears to me. The only way I was going to get rid of everyone and go through with the plan without a hitch was to make her hate me. Make everyone hate me, just like I did Luke.

Just considering their hate for me makes my heart ache. But I need to do this. For Luke. For the boys. It's for their success.

“You know, a few months ago you were asked to be in a movie and you didn't take it cause you said you were a terrible actress. Isn't that right?” she gets up again. “Noah told me you said you were doing this for Luke, because you loved him. Marnie, what are you trying to hide?” she comes closer.

I feel dirty because of the attitude I'm going to take. It's low, very low, but I need her to hate me.

"Look who talks about hiding." I give a cynical laugh. Leah looks at me confused. "Don't you have anything to tell too?" she still doesn't understand. “You and Kyleen?���

Hastings freezes. The bitter taste of my act starts to fill my mouth. I’m sorry, Leah. I’m so sorry.

“How do you know?” she takes a step back.

"Who do you think closed the bathroom door on Ash's birthday?" I raise my eyebrows.

“Is not the same thing.”

“It isn’t? Aren't you hiding something from all of us?” I force a smile like hers a few minutes ago.

“No! Cause I'm not pushing everyone away, I'm not telling lies. And if you asked me, I would tell you the truth. Deep down, you know why I didn't say anything. You know my dad hasn't accepted Noah yet, that this is a problem in our family, and you know he wouldn't accept me either. You know that deep down I'm trying to protect both of us.”

“Oh! Do I?” I debauchery more. Right now, I feel horrible when I see your eyes water. I'm so, so sorry.

“I know what you're trying to do and I'm not going to stage it.” she walks past me to the door.

"Didn't you want to talk? I am talking.” Leah turns to me, straining the knife I carried in my chest, letting me see her crying face.

“You're trying to make me hate you.” now I'm the one who freezes. She laughs. “See how I know you? You are very predictable, Marnie. And as much as I know of your intention, I will not allow you to reach your goal. I hope that one day, not too far away, you realize what a big shit you're doing.” she opens the door, going. “Oh, and before I forget, since it's meant to hurt. Congrats, since your little chat with Luke, he's been locked in his room, needing Michael to keep an eye on him.” so Leah slams the door and strikes the final blow.

I bite the inside of my mouth, letting the tears fall. Honestly, I didn't even have the strength to hold back anymore. The rage burning inside me gives way to pain. I imagine Luke locked in his room, lying on the bed, hating me. Hating what we had and what we thought we had.

I walk over to my suitcase, pulling out a package, with the photos I'd taken from the box and the little white box he'd given me. I open it, holding the necklace with his name on it, the one he gave me.

Even knowing what I had to do, I wouldn't get rid of this necklace, I don't have the courage. It was easier to buy an equal one and put it in his hand. What he did to me would be kept with me forever.

““Closed eyes.” he fights.

"I have my eyes closed." I rebate. “Lucas…” I chide him, when I feel his lips on the back of my neck.

“Sorry, I got distracted.” I hold back the urge to laugh. “Closed eyes.”

"If you say it one more time, you'll get hit." I threat.

"How, if you can't see me?" right now, the urge to hit him is so strong that I follow the sound of his voice, trying to kick him. “Hey! No rudeness, otherwise you'll be left without a gift.” the false authoritative tone makes me angrier. “Good girl!”

“Go!” I kicked.

I'm startled by the icy touch against my neck. It's a necklace. Eagerly, I touch the pendant, recognizing the shape. He didn't do it.

“You can open it.” his hands move to my hips, hugging me.

With my eyes open, I run my vision to my neck, finding there a necklace just like his but blue.

“Happy Birthday!” he drops a kiss on my cheek.

I hold the blue quartz, seeing Luke's name engraved on the back. I let a stupid smile spread across my face, glaring at my boyfriend with the same.

"Want to explain why we're wearing practically identical necklaces?"

“It's a little obvious. Couples wear rings and I know what a problem you have with rings.”

“It’s not a problem.” I try to defend myself.

“It's just Alzheimer's. You know, in some people, it starts before they're 70 years old.” I hit him, and he laughs, before he hugs me. "Like I was saying, I know you're not into wearing a ring, so since I already had my necklace, I thought you'd have yours. That way we'll always be close to each other's hearts.” I rest my hands on his shoulders, standing on tiptoes.

"Have I told you I love you today?" I whisper, moving closer.

“Not after 5 pm.” he pouted, looking at the clock on the wall.

I don't know how I managed to kiss him with such a stupid smile on my face.

“Why do I like you, huh?” I question, stealing a little kiss.

“Because I'm cheesy and romantic. And even if you deny it, I know you get attached to it.” he opens a victorious smile.

"Don't ever say 'get attached' again." I beg laughing.

"What is it, bae? That was awesome.” he laughs.

“No!” I scream, laughing.

"What is it, babe girl? Don't you stick to my way of get in?” he keeps teasing me.

I place my lips on yours, determined to shut your mouth and thank you that it works. My mental reminder of “we're late for dinner” evaporates when his hands reach under my shirt. I scratch the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

“We're late for dinner.” he says against my mouth as I start to unbutton his shirt.

“Just say the traffic was like hell.” I suggest kissing his neck.

Luke accepts the idea, picking me up and walking me back to the bedroom."

It's not hard to know that we were late for dinner that day. But I didn't care, I had been given a necklace with his name on it, a necklace that showed how our relationship was getting more and more serious.

I also realize that the two times I got this necklace, at least once I ended up in bed with him. In fact, in both, but only one made it to the end.

“I hate myself.” I say tiredly, going to the minibar to get anything containing alcohol that makes me forget everything.

I call the front desk for two bottles of champagne and the biggest snack they have. I pick up the small whiskey bottles, turning one after the other, as if they were shot. I shake my head, wanting the effect to start faster.

“I hate myself. Leah hates me. Kiki must hate me now too. Just like Noah and everyone else there. Everybody hates me.” I turn the last one over, shaking my head once more. “Luke hates me. Hates me too much.” I comment, hugging the pillow.

I pick up a Polaroid of ours, staring at our happiness marked there. What am I doing?

I throw my head in my hands, lost. I wonder what might happen if I crawl into bed and don't go out for the rest of the month. Probably more people will hate me, but who doesn't hate me now? I mean, just get in line.

Awakened from the thought, when someone knocks on the door. For a second, I wonder who it was, then remember I ordered room service. I walk to the door, feeling the weight of the six small bottles.

My stomach churns and I feel an overwhelming urge to vomit as I land my eyes on the redhead in front of me. Red-haired?

"Bethany?"

#5sosedit #luke 5sos #5sos fluff #5sauce #calum 5sos #5sos blurbs #5sosfam #5sos fanfic #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton 5sos #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton irwin #calum 5sauce #michael gordon clifford #calumthomashood #calum hood #michael clifford #luke hemming imagines #luke robert hemmings #luke hemmo #lukey #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings #lrh #memorieslrh #michael 5sos #wfttwtaf #wendystales

[brideofcthulhu10]

Here we are, I apologize for the delay you guys but I can guarantee you it is so worth the wait! A humongous shout out to my incredible co-author @imlostinsantacarla for writing this with me, I had an amazing time and this is arguably one of the best written posts I’ve done so far. SO without further ado, I give you

Lost Boys Fem!S/O Gives Birth [3/4]

CONTENT WARNING: Offensive Language, Blood, Child Birthing Process, Intense Environment! READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Marko

The soft silver moonlight slithered through the cracks and crevices overhead in the hotel, illuminating your form in a tender glow. You laid casually atop the dusty old couch worn from years of perpetual abuse, staring up into the cave’s ceiling at the little slivers of sky you could see between them, fingers fondling the soft blanket wrapped around you. Nerves caused your heart to stutter as another set of cramps waded through your body, making you feel nauseated. However, you put on a valiant front, hardly batting an eyelash as your boyfriend Marko sat beside you, eyes fixated on your form in an adoring fashion, though there was worry mixed within his countenance, a deep groove carved between his brows. Granted when you had initially announced your pregnancy you could have gone about it differently, however you were met with a joyous response from your adoring vampire. Originally David had suggested they turn you whilst pregnant to prevent any foreseeable complications, but there arose a new set of issues. Your infant would be a hybrid of vampire and human, something none of you even knew was possible. The potential need for a live body could mean that turning yourself before the birth could kill him or her in the process. Even if the birth could result in your death, unfortunately, all you could do was patiently wait, as going to a hospital was surely out of the question. Nevertheless, patience was a virtue- one Marko had yet to achieve. 

The months of waiting grew heavier on him as time ticked by, whilst the haunting lack of knowledge grew more frustrating with any passing discomfort he witnessed. His inability to help you outside of a shoulder to cry on when your cramps became too unbearable to sleep through made him feel helpless, a sensation that not only was he unfamiliar with; it was one he absolutely loathed. The boys did their utmost best to be accommodating to the situation, and one certainly had to give them credit for the amount of effort they had gone through. Dwayne had gone to the library for a few books for yourself and Marko, including one or two children’s books for the baby. Paul had spent his free nights shoplifting for supplies you’d need. No one could dismantle and sneak out an entire crib like Paul could. The guy had created a craft in the endeavor. David, with the help of Dwayne, had scoped through the caves and old hotel rooms still salvageable and managed to reinforce one of the rooms closest to their own cave. You eagerly draped the walls in colorful fabrics, finding an old dresser for your child’s clothes with a surface now cluttered with stuffed animals. Toys were crammed into a wooden chest, a massive rug laid across the old wooden flooring to deter any stray splinters from harming you. Watching Paul and Marko stubbornly argue over the crib instructions was certainly the highlight of your pregnancy while David was barking at them to move out of the way when he came carrying in the glider chair in one arm and a mass of pillows in the other. Although, you had to draw the line once Marko had smacked Paul with a two by four. Surely, that was uncalled for. But according to Marko, not so! Best friend or not, no one said he had the building skills of a drunk monkey!

Tonight was the night that would mark round about the eighth month of your pregnancy, and, - if it were truly possible -, Marko nearly had a heart attack when your false contractions came into play a few weeks ago. This ignited a vigilant nature within him, motivating him to remain much closer to you than he had previously been, which resulted in a lot of checking up on every unusual sound that you made. It was impossible for it to be helped. Well, that's what he kept telling you anyway.  

"You know, I can skip out on the hunt tonight…" Marko trailed off, cool fare fingertips dancing along the soft flesh of your arms, creating goosebumps to rise in their wake. The contrast between body temperatures was ghastly and you shivered, more at the electric shock that raced through you whenever he touched you. 

"Babe, you skipped out on the hunt last night, and the night before, and even the night before that. Marko, you must be starving!" You sighed irately, tipping your head back in frustration before turning it in his direction. Ever since the news of your pregnancy, Marko's primal instincts to protect you and your child had grown in vast numbers. It was pleasant to begin with, almost endearing… Though, as months sped by it had grown a hindrance because the young man was hardly even caring for himself now, and he hardly ever left your side. Honest to God, it was smothering, leaving you almost agitated at the sight of him. He was aware of this, yet still could not resist the urge within him that called for him to aid you in whatever way he could. There was an ample amount of anxiety over future happenstances such as your water breaking, uncontrollable cramps, the ACTUAL birthing of the child! You were understanding of his concern, but there was only so much that could be done. After all, you wanted your baby just as badly as he did. But he couldn’t allow his health to decline due to his own worry, you needed him. And frankly, your sense of unease was bordering onto the bandwagon of fear when you saw Marko’s ribs sticking tightly against his translucent flesh, a plethora of dark circles sinking his blue eyes into his skull. He wasn’t eating, he hardly slept, and soon he wouldn’t be able to control his frenzies.

"I don't know, baby girl," Marko began hesitantly, his round eyes widening as they peered into your own thoughtfully. Worry had never been a good look on Marko, and now, you longed for the days where reading him had been more difficult. His anxiety was like a fungi, infecting your very aura at the same time. "I don't wanna leave in case something happens you know? I mean, yeah, I guess I'm kinda thirsty but that stuff can wai-" You interrupted him with your fingertips gently silencing his lips, your eyes having shut as you breathed deeply to calm your nerves. This boy was driving you nuts. 

"Marko, I know how worried you are. I am too. But babe, I can tell that it's getting harder for you to be around me because you haven't fed. I really don’t want to start smelling like a fillet mignon to you, and if you’ve been looking at me like some mouth watering steak, we run the risk of the baby becoming appealing as well, I know you don’t want to risk that." You quipped with a quirked brow, lips tucked up into a wry smile as you stared straight at him. Your case was a good one, there was no doubt about it. There could be a very good chance that Marko, albeit not on purpose, could harm you or the baby if he smelled the scent of blood or even heard a too hasty of a heartbeat. And if there were to be an accident such as that, Marko would be plagued by an immense amount of guilt for all eternity. “Besides, it’s only the seven and a half or eight month point right now. I’m not having the baby for at least six more weeks. Right now, I need you to be at your best. Please babe.”

"But-" Marko began to protest.

"She's right, Marko." David piped up lazily from across the room, his eyes never leaving the book that he had been reading. He turned the page briskly before continuing, "You need to feed. It's the basic terms of vampire-hood. If you don't, you die! Now, what good would that do anyone then?" He inquired sardonically, a trace of a smirk in the air. 

"Yeah, bud! David and Y/n are right! Just go on one feed with us." Paul grinned from ear to ear at his bestest pal in the whole world, despite the horrifying fact that said best friend had hit him in the head with a two by four. Excitement had been rushing through Paul's entire being during this whole process. He was going to be an uncle man, how could he not be excited?! It had been such a bummer since Star left with Laddie, it’d be cool having some new tiny mind he could influence. Not that he'd even get as far to really influence the child without getting a brisk smack to the back of the head by David before you and Marko could even lift your fingers. No, he would not be teaching your child about the world of “Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll” at five years old!

"I mean-" 

"With the way you're going, you're gonna be a shriveled prune." Dwayne muttered out of thin air as he slowly rolled past Marko and yourself on his skateboard. The hulking raven haired vampire came to a standstill  as he stepped slowly off of his board. Dwayne was also right. Marko wasn't looking his brightest. Feeding was a nightly routine for a vampire in order to ensure they took in the right nutrients their dead bodies could not produce for themselves. Especially since they weren't capable of absorbing those nutrients through human food any more. Marko had to feed, there was no whisking his way around it, no matter how many excuses he could come up with. 

The trio of boys stared at the curly haired blonde, your eyes also capturing his form. There was a stretch of intense silence that flooded through the hotel as Marko thought over his options, pushing a mesh of frizzed blonde hair away from his face. He didn't want to risk going out and a possible complication occurring with the baby or yourself. But he also didn't have a strong desire to cause a catastrophic accident whilst going into a frenzy when your heart rate started skyrocketing due to cramps or whatever. Already his mouth was watering profusely as he stared down at his worn hands beginning to wither from lack of nourishment, the consistent thudding of your heart and the delectable rush of your blood in your veins made it practically impossible for the man to focus for much longer. 

"Man, just go! I'll stay with her." Paul finally interjected, slightly irritated that his buddy was being such a pansy about the entire situation. "If anything happens I'll scream at the top of my lungs or something, man. I got this! Scouts honor!" Paul added sarcastically, flattening a palm over his heart as he raised his free one up by his head. The entire thing looked comical, it made the others laugh. 

"Yeah, sure, let me get the flowers early for the funeral," Dwayne muttered, settling himself on another dusty old couch with a soft sigh. 

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, dick breath?" Paul roared, brows pulled together in anger, punching Dwayne’s shoulder.. 

“Can you even give scouts honor if you were never in it?” you asked with a laugh to your tone, raising a brow at the blonde trying to rapid punch the utterly indifferent vampire planted in place.

"Dwayne has a good point, Paul." David sneered at his comrade, blue eyes lit up like torches watching Dwayne yank Paul into a headlock on it’s way to a noogie. "You remember the last time we-" 

"Ow! Okay, I didn't know she wasn't allowed to drink alcohol! But she never drank any so I don't get why you guys keep bringing this shit up!" Paul muttered, managing to wiggle himself out of Dwayne’s iron grip. With stubborn stomps he huffed, flopping onto the edge of the fountain in the middle of the room, his chin resting on his hands. He stared at you and Marko for a moment before continuing. "Man, I swear I won't pull another stunt like that again! I can take care of her! Dwayne told me the gist of what she can and can't have. I can do this, buddy." it was practically the most pitiful thing you had ever seen, it even tugged a little at your heartstrings.

You looked to Marko for confirmation and from the twinkle in his eyes, you could tell he was thinking the same thing as you. 'Let's just let him do this so he can stop pouting like a brat.'

"Alright, alright!" Marko stated, gloved hands raising up in the air in defeat. "You can watch out for her, but if ANYTHING happens, man, you've gotta go and find me. No fucking around and no fucking weed either!" Marko was firm as he spoke, eyes boring seriously into Paul's. 

The sun broke out onto Paul's face, his pearly whites glinting from the fires scattered around the hotel. You could tell in that moment that Marko had made Paul's entire century. "Fuck yeah! Scouts honor, dude. Just like I said before!" the blonde rocker was practically bouncing in his seat like he needed a piss. He hardly looked like a badass biker vampire that went out murdering people left, right, and center every night. He looked more like a baby rabbit. 

“I fucking mean it man,” Marko firmly repeated. “No weed, no booze, no being a dumbass.” Although he was being firm there was a slight twitch to his mouth. Being stern with Paul was often impossible but you had to admit, Marko was doing a grand job without the two by four!

Paul threw his hands up in the air in such a rushing motion that you were surprised they hadn't flung out of their sockets. “God damn, trust me man. I’m not gonna let anything happen! You guys need to gimme more credit here, who’s the one that stole a fucking crib for you assholes?”

With a tenacious huff, you wedged your hands behind your back feeling that the full weight of your belly was determined to keep you jammed between cushions, but nevertheless, you managed to heave yourself up and off of the dusty old couch with an audible grunt. The four boys' heads turned to watch you, instinctively with brows furrowed. They thought they'd insisted that if you needed to be moved, they would help you rather than let you strain yourself any more than you had to. But you were impossibly stubborn! You had insisted on multiple occasions that it was necessary for you to move, even exercise to keep you and the baby healthy. None of them were willing to humor you but you’d found that tuning out their protests was the best course of action in most occasions. And by impulsive habit, Marko dove over to offer you assistance, though you only responded by swatting his hands away from you. You were fine!

“I’m fine Marko, don’t worry I can get up on my own. Anyway, Paul’s right,” you agreed, looking over at your friend who beamed with delight at your praise, arms crossed over his chest with a nodding head of total satisfaction as if you had just given a mighty speech. “He’s not gonna let anything happen. Besides, what could really go wrong in just a few hours?”

"Babe, don't say shit like that, you could jinx it!" Marko cried incredulously, eyes practically bulging out of his head. 

"Babe get a grip. There's no such thing as “jinxing” things." His worrying was really starting to bug you. And what did you do in turn? You did and said the exact opposite of him, a way to subconsciously counteract the apprehension that oozed out of him like a foul smell. Carefully you took his hands into yours and placed them on your taut belly. “See? Feel for yourself.”

For the past several months Marko had attested to being able to hear your unborn spawn within your stomach. Not necessarily thoughts, but emotions. Cluttered, wild, uncertain emotions that would come in jumbled waves. There was a weary contentment within you, sleeping soundly in a cradle of water kept safe within. Finally his muscles began to relax, tension beading out into limp arms as Marko pulled you in for a firm hug, holding you against him.

“You promise me.. If anything happens, you scream for me immediately. No toughing it out because you’re worried about me eating.” He mumbled sweetly into your hair, taking in a slow inhale of your heavenly scent. It was the one thing that could soothe his soul instantaneously, burying his face into the crook of your neck. 

“Marko-”

“Please, Y/n.”

 His plea made your heart ache with slight agony. It was a desperate rasp, his arms almost trembling. There was a rush of relief filling him when you wrapped your own arms around him with a tender smile. “Okay. Alright, I promise, if anything happens I’ll call for you,” you hummed in tender response. For a moment you had to take a moment to pause, feeling a low and deep, sharp pain stretching from your abdomen to your back. Instead of making a fuss you tried to ease your breathing before Marko could notice. You weren't prepared to allow a few false contractions to get the better of you and stop him from getting his fill of the blood he so desperately needed at this point. And you also weren't going to play into any of Marko's anxieties either. You could do that when he returned from his hunt. Gently you lifted his chin. His cold lips felt cracked against your own, cementing how desperately he needed to feed. Even his kisses grew hungry, and you had to pull away from him before this grew into a horror show. “Go, you goof.”

It had taken some further convincing for him to leave, by the time he finally left with David and Dwayne it almost felt otherworldly in that cave. The lack of presence was almost spooky, though thankfully Paul was nice enough to loan you his walkman to curb the initial silence. Playing his Def Leppard tape you sat back into the couch, breathing through the occasional cramps that would continue to sneak up on you in a pulsing fashion. Hysteria was always your favorite album, as the dulcet tones of the rock ballad began to lull you into a half sleep state. But the continuous bombardment of contractions had begun to grow concerning. They weren’t slowing down, nor consistent in their spaces between as they should be. Cautiously you sat up, counting out the seconds between the first and the next. One minute, two minute, three… and again. For a full minute your muscles spasmed and ached, almost drawing an audible gasp from your mouth. Again you counted. One minute, two, th- no! Now it came again at a two minute interval. In a haste you peeled the headphones from your ears, grasping your stomach as you leaned forward suddenly. Your legs buckled, every time you tried to stand the pain just dragged you back down. “Fuck.. oh go- Paul!”

The blonde vampire was so lost in his own world he was nearly jolted out of his seat by your panicked cries. “What, what’s up you- JESUS!”

Without missing a beat, Paul slipped on the floor beneath his feet, barely having the reflexes to catch himself before his face could meet the ground with a harsh smack. The floor was soaked! Seriously, who spilled water everywhere? “Damn man, what happened here? Why is it all-” again, his words were paused, almost as if they'd been caught in his throat whilst he looked over your doubled over form clutching your profound belly. “Oh- oh shit! Oh fuck no way! Shit, holy fuck shit are you-?? Is it?!”

“Yes! ” You cried out incredulously, cutting off his panicked questioning in a hasty fashion. A sudden cry escaped your lips whilst you gasped in desperation, your spine going erect as you flattened your palms out behind you to stabilize yourself. "Oh god!"

"Oh shit man, I better get Mark-" Paul began, face having dropped to terror. 

"No! I swear to go- ow! Paul, if you even dare- I swear I will stake you myself! Ow!" 

“What, are you crazy?!” He demanded, jutting his arms in your direction. “You swore you’d call him, dude! This is big, man, he’ll kill me if anything happens to you! Oh fuck but he’ll kill me if I leave you alone- Fuck!” Paul swiftly kicked over one of the tables, running his hands through his mess of hair. The thing looked more like a lions' mane in all honesty. “Bed! We gotta get you to your bed, like now!”

"And how are we gonna do that, asshole?"

Paul's face soured immediately at your insult and with a swift motion, he swung you up into his arms bridal style, paying little mind to your plethora of protests. “Shut up already. I’m not doing this for my fuckin’ health! But you gotta be in bed! I may be a dumbass but I at least know that much!” He muttered, carefully tightening his grip as you attempted to wiggle out from it. He rapidly stepped over tunnels and rocks whilst he swung his way into the cavernous nursery where your bed was nestled into a corner, his calloused fingers on one hand releasing your legs as he pushed the black curtains that draped heavily over the frame. And with that, he placed you gingerly down on the bed, staring at you with a perplexed expression with a hint of something else. Was- no, that couldn't be embarrassment. 

"What're you staring at," you questioned, a nervous twinge to your voice. You rolled on your side to relieve some of the pulsating throbs that ran rampant through your muscles.”

"Uh- well- shit! I mean, we need to take off your pants, man. What if you start pushing and the baby suffocate or something?"

“I can’t even start pushing until I know how dilated I am,” your voice was quivering, clutching your stomach. “If I were to push too early it could kill us both.” 

"Oh fuck! Where's Marko when you need him?!" 

The dreaded predicament was growing increasingly deadly the more your body warned of its approaching birth, and soon you were left with a terrifying decision. Wiping away the thick layer of sweat misting your flushed cheeks, you managed to breathe out a hesitant response. “Paul.. You have to go get him.” 

"I’m sorry, WHAT?!" Paul’s voice echoed in the caves at a high pitched octave. “No! No freaking way, I am not leaving you here, you’re having a fucking baby! What if something happens to you? Fuck Marko being haunted, there’s no way I would be able to live with myself!” Paul ranted on, throwing his arms in the air whilst he paced around the sides of your bed in an antsy motion.

Sobs made your chest spasm uncontrollably, rolling over again onto your back. No position provided relief anymore, the contractions following still at an even two minutes each. “It could be hours before I’m actually ready to give birth! We have to know h-how far I am a-and the only way to do that…”

“...Yes? What way, c’mon maybe I can do that!” Paul stopped dead in his tracks to face you, serene as he had ever been in his entire life.

“You’d have to stick your fingers in me,” you groaned with imminent embarrassment, receiving an equal look of humiliation and horror from Paul’s pale face. He looked down, then at the cave’s entrance. Guilt plagued him, this kind of decision had never been put in front of him before.  He knew his options were slim, but he also knew where they hunted, if he could catch Marko’s scent outside he could easily find him. But again, he looked at you writhing in pure agony on top of your bed in tears. A knot tore at his own gut like someone was trying to rip them right out of him, his throat aching when he swallowed, a dryness had developed from nerves. “You sure you can handle it until I get back. You fucking swear you’ll be okay? Just for a few minutes.”

You could only nod in response as the pain was so debilitating it rendered you utterly speechless!

“Please, just go get him.” You managed to squeak out intensely. The expression of pain mixed with fear that captured your beautiful features truly did break his heart.

Paul sighed deeply in defeat, his fingers gently pushing your hair from your face. “Stay tough kiddo, I’ll be fast as fucking lightning.” You hadn’t even seen him leave, a huge gust of wind caused  the bed to shudder, leaving you utterly and completely alone.

 Kicking away your soggy jeans, you promptly pulled yourself to the top of the bed with your back pressed against the headboard. With every passing contraction you fought to breath evenly through it, fingers tightly clutching the sheets beneath you. “Fuck...god Paul hurry please!”

Paul flew as speedily as he could carry himself through the air, his nocturnal eyes aflame, rapidly scanning the ground for any sight of his buddies. The fresh scent of blood wafted through the cool night's air which coaxed him closer to the boardwalk, perhaps a mile or two north. The fucking sand dunes, of course! Sure enough, amongst a towering, crackling bonfire stacked high with the charred remains of surfboards that belonged to screaming Santa Carlites currently being devoured, there he spotted the trio of vampires tearing and ripping into the flesh and bones of unfortunate victims. Their blood spraying in odd directions, splattering across their clothes and hair. "Marko!” Paul yelled far louder than he needed to, panic evident on his countenance whilst he clumsily crash landed into the  wind whipped rouge sands below. The display caught the attention of his brothers immediately as they finished off their prey in a geyser of crimson fluids, leaving the ground stained.

Marko dropped the lifeless shriveled up human carcass he had been cradling savagely in his arms to the ground with little interest for it any longer. His previous frail lineament now long gone, replaced with a healthy  complexion. Although Marko felt he was back to his full capacity, he couldn't help the immediate apprehension and terror that sparked within his chest as it panged in his gut nauseously. "Paul?! Dude what the fuck are you doing here, where’s Y/N?? What's wrong?" He asked, panic straining his voice. 

"Dude! Fucking hurry up! I think Y/n's in labor, man!”

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Marko demanded, grabbing Paul by his jacket. “You fucking left her?!”

“Marko, man, listen! One minute she was okay, the next she's screaming bloody murder and the fucking floors drenched!" Paul panted, doubled over as he'd flown here with all his might. "Before you ask, she's on her bed, okay? I took her there myself, even with her kicking and screaming. Dude I swear I didn’t just ditch! I swear, man I didn't wanna leave her but she said she needed someone to stick their fingers inside her or fucking whatever cuz if she pushes the baby will die, I dunno man but I'm not itching to do that ever!"

Marko said nothing, primal instincts kicking in full throttle as he sailed through the air and headed straight for the cave. His mind wandered to perilous details in furious cluttered thought, things that already created all the more apprehension to to twist in his gut, turning them round and round. His thoughts immediately went to the fact that you were alone in the hotel, in the purest of all agonies, having to go at this on your lonesome. The closer he sailed over the coastline the more he could hear. Your voice was just in the distance carried on the winds in gut wrenching cries that tore him apart. His next thoughts dwindled on your safety as well as the babies. He was very aware that there was no doctor involved in the mix, which meant no hospital and certainly no pain killers. He was terrified as his mind blasted through the worst of the worst. Didn't women used to die of childbirth back in the day? Was there a possibility that you could die? 

Marko hadn't even noticed that the others boys had been hot on his heels, prepared to offer aid wherever they could.

 "Marko, man! Slow down!" David called, struggling to keep up with the pace in which his pal was flying. The little bugger had gotten a head start, fueled by his pessimistic contemplation. But Marko didn't halt or slow down for that matter. There was no time for any of that! He had to get to the hotel and into your room as swiftly as possible, he wouldn’t dare slow down! What the hell was David even talking about anyway? Slow down?! Slowing down would do nothing but increase the chances of something else going wrong. He knew that the moment you'd spoken the words of, "what could go wrong in a couple of hours", that you had completely and utterly jinxed the entire night! 

His body dove and swerved through the hotel passing caves and holes, nearly crashing as he sped to a desperate stop inside the nursery. Your screams were crystal clear, as though they were right there, yet the sound rattled his ribs until he thought he would pass out. Still hidden away behind pitch black curtains, he could almost see your pitiful form writhing in limitlessly excruciating anguish. Rapidly his steps carried him to your bedside where you were still smothered in fresh blood, wrenching away the curtains. The sight was a visage of carnage torn straight from hell itself! Yet you only saw your dearest prince, and it was truly a sight for sore eyes left distorted by cruel tears. His coarse hand clutched yours immediately, providing the first rare moment of sanctity you had felt. The sudden motion and contact from him startled you tremendously, causing you to shriek when another contraction sent you into a panic. "Hey, it's me, baby girl. It's just me." He cooed comforting down at you, his free hand smoothing your damp hair from your sweat slick face. He probably looked like hell, still covered head to toe in his latest victims blood. That probably wasn't the most hygienic state for him to be in during the birthing of his child. But he had to work with what he had. There wasn't exactly running fresh water in the hotel anyway. It was almost unbearable for him to watch you, the color drained from your cheeks, grasping his hand until he swore he heard bones begin to crack.

“Marko.. I-I can’t push yet.. I d-don’t know how far I am,” You choked out, pressing the back of your head into the mattress when pulsating rivers of agony wove through you in cruel waves. The pain was now a disarray of spontaneous choreography, a violent tempo swelling and spreading throughout your entire body, leaving your brain foggy and black spots waltzing at the corners of your vision.

Before Marko was able to utter a word, the three boys bounded into the room, breathless and covered in a film of dampness, no doubt most likely from the crashing waves of the sea that battered along the cliffs' edge. The intrusion was noisy and agitating, leading to Marko's eyes becoming beacons of flourishing orange and his head whipped towards the guys. "Will you guys get lost? I'm not about to have you guys stand there like the Triplets of Fucking Bullshit while I try to figure out how dilated Y/n is!" he practically roared, the cave was shuddering for a moment as specs of dust flitted sporadically to the ground.

“Marko, baby, please calm down," you begged him, placing a hand on his forearm. The sight of him still smeared in blood was one thing, but such rage even at his brothers almost frightened you, his head practically whipping around to face you with fangs bared and piercing white hot eyes tearing into your own. It felt like he had stared straight through into your soul which was certainly not what you needed currently. The petrified expression left plastered across your palored cheeks made Marko feel incredibly remorseful, running his fingers through his hair. He was running on little sleep and barely had enough to satiate his lingering appetite, leaving him still quite exhausted.

"It's fine. We'll clear out. C'mon boys." David stated, Dwayne having already left. He stared pointedly at Paul though, who was staring at you in fright. He felt as though he should be there, however, with David staring at him so intently, he glanced over your way. You could only give him a weakened smile, your gaze assuring him you were safe now. Paul hung his head low and squeezed past the spiked blonde boy briskly. And David followed suit, not sparing another glance your way. It seemed cold but truthfully, David wasn't entirely sure what to make of the situation. Heightened emotions made him uncomfortable. David was better away from this specific spotlight, and currently his friend was in a frenzy he wasn’t willing to have escalated in such a delicate moment. He'd deal with the aftermath once the storm had passed. Marko could deal with the storm singlehandedly if that's what he so desperately desired. I mean, David hadn't knocked you up, so why get his feathers ruffled when he wasn't wanted there anyway?

“You… owe th-them an... a-apology,” you managed to pant out, wearily smacking his arm when a moment of relief between contractions allowed your voice to return. 

Marko huffed, shimmying off his jacket and tossing it onto the chair as he climbed on top of the bed with you, shutting the curtains. “I’ll make it up to them later babe, now’s not the fucking time.” Marko grumbled indignantly, his vampiric features morphing back to his human ones.

It was incredibly important for Marko to ensure that you were dilated 10 centimeters. This was not just for the babies sake but also for your own. If you pushed too soon it could prove fatal for you and your child. There was an instinct in you that told you to push, though Marko insisted adamantly that you hold off on pushing for the meantime. Stress riddled Marko to the core as he knelt down in front of you on the bed, his fingers comfortingly stroking your inner thighs prior to pulling back and nearing your entrance. To begin with he slipped in a finger, pushing softly as the books had told him until he reached the surface of the cervix which if he hadn't been reading the books that Dwayne had given him, he would have thought it didn't exist. Instead, he was met with a rubbery balloon-like texture which he knew was the bag of waters that held your baby. He slowly retracted his finger and added a few more, until he was certain that you were way past the 5cm mark. "Ow! B-babe! Tbh-that hurts!" You complained loudly, back arching off the mattress as you flinched, brows knitted together in contorted pain. 

"Really?" Marko snapped, eyes meeting yours whilst his fingers froze within you. "You've had much worse in there and a few fingers hurt? Sheesh!" He stated slowly, his expression flattening momentarily. And suddenly, as if by magic, the tension that had been suffocating the pair of you lifted somewhat, causing the pair of you to chortle for a moment before you winced, a grimace clouding your expression. 

"Shut up you complete asshole, h-how about I sh-shove a watermelon up you butt, s-s-see how you like it,” you breathlessly laugh, leaning your head back against your pillow. “So, c-can I p-push now, or not?" 

"Yeah, I'm pretty certain that you're 10 centimeters now, babe."

Some form of twisted relief washed over your soul in that moment as you let the instinct to push was over you. There was a slow, long drag pulling through your back. It was like a tiger had dug it’s hooked claws into you and was pulling them down through your flesh.  The endeavor was tiring, grueling in fact, leaving you dizzy and exhausted. But yet there was a set determination that took over you whilst you pushed desperately. Your toes tightly curled in place, grunts and panting replaced by blood curdling screams that sent chills down any who heard it. Tears made it impossible to see, the salty concoction of tears and sweat staining your face. Everything burned, you were fearful you may pass out. Though as soon as you pushed you found yourself holding your breath, to which Marko had to coach you through how  to breathe. A deep breathe in and another deep breathe out. In through the nose out through the mouth. Well, more like, in through the mouth and back out again. He also had to remind you when to rest,especially when he took note of exhaustion blanketing across you. 

“Marko- I can’t! No, no! Fuck I can’t it hurts so fucking bad,” you cried out until your throat was raw, having to be snatched by him before you launched up, pinned precisely in place by his steel grip. “No, god, I can’t do this! Please, I-I can’t I can’t it h-hurts!” 

"Come on, baby girl you can’t stop now! You have to hold still, it’s gonna be okay, you've got this." Marko encouraged ceaselessly, offering his pale hand to you to hold. Using his other he cemented you in place, knowing one wrong move could kill the baby. Your strength caught him by surprise when you snatched his hand tightly, grateful he couldn’t feel the crushing grasp of your fingers as his dead bones began to crack. Fortunately for him, years of rigor mortis and rot had decayed most of his nervous system by now. He held your head back on his chest, continuing to coax you with tender words. “Almost there baby, almost I know it hurts, I know, I’m so sorry baby." He whispered softly into your ear, his cool breath fanning across your hot flushed skin. You swallowed thickly, almost as though you were in a trance as you continued your strained pushes. A pinkish liquid spilled out and onto the sheets in a cruel, seeping motion. Marko noted it’s scent carried a heavy copper tone and glanced down as the pale salmon tint deepened into a dark crimson hue. Your screams had nearly numbed his ears by now, although it was not a sound he desired to grow accustomed to. 

Marko softly unwound his arms around you, though he kept his left hand in your ironclad grip. He needed to ensure that blood was the baby’s head crowning and not some horrendous miscarriage. He wouldn’t dare mention the alternative to his mate mid-birth, pushing away the blankets covering your legs and to his amazement there was your baby's head crowning momentarily before slipping back inside. From what he'd read, this was a completely normal process, your pushing, in conjunction with your contractions would continue to shift the baby down the birthing canal and out of you. Your heels dug into the mattress with your back arching upward as your mouth was aghast in treacherous suffering, a hideous cry drawing tears from your eyes. The room began to sway, the pace of your heart was that of wild horses unleashed on an open plain. Heat grasped you from every angle, it was getting harder to breathe the more you fought through it. Fear grabbed hold of your lungs, squeezing violently, picking up your heart rate until Marko could hear it thundering beneath your rib cage like a frightened animal wanting to be let loose of its cage. Your rapid labored breaths carried a concerning pace that had him beside you once again.

“Marko.. T-the room..,” you tried to whimper out between screams, head swaying to the side staring at the pitch black curtains that somehow seemed to be seeping into your surroundings. You could feel the drag pulling down your back into your birth canal, you were so close but the sheer exhaustion tempted you to faint at any moment. “I..I can’t..” you gasped out under your breath so quiet he almost thought he'd imagined the words.

"Just one more push, babe," Marko pleaded, brushing his hand over your damp forehead. In a sweet, yet ardent motion your hair was pushed back from your face. You clung to his hand, pressing your forehead against his frigid palm savoring the relieving rush of cold. The sight of his wide eyes connecting with yours forced a momentary breath of air, those perfect blue pools gave you something to focus on. The blackness was scattered, a last scream forcing it's way out of your throat as you gave one final push, the dragging motion within you halting. Light faded in and out of your vision, rapid black splotches flickering around the room, the pain becoming dull and pulsating. You hardly even noticed the muffled, shrill cries emitting from your newborn, or the fact that Marko had already had her wrapped in a towel once he'd cut the umbilical cord. Your chest shuddered when you breathed, the small pink infant squirming beneath white fabric making whimpering grunts. Small fingers stretched out, clutching at Marko’s shirt.

“Marko.. Wh-what are they,” you groaned our, flickering lashes barely keeping you conscious.

Marko hesitated to glance between misted eyes, choking out a stunned laugh. “A girl…”

The blood stained her red skin, and before he could wipe away the sticky red substance off her fingers she suckled at the red liquid, eyes bright white just as his were when his fangs were bared. She had yet to form her own, and when there was none left on her hand they had faded back into little grey, uncolored orbs. The lack of food had become noticable, and she let out a fussy whine, kicking her feet against the blanket in a fit. So that's what she needed to feed on. Marko gently bounced her in his arms, nuzzling his forehead against hers until her tantrum was subdued. “Shhh shhh, it’s okay baby girl.. Plenty of time for that later... Daddy will bring you a big ol bag of blood when mommy feels better, I promise.”  

You blinked away tears as she was delicately passed into your arms, weighing no more than eight or nine pounds just as weary as you were. “Wilhelmina...,” you choked out, brushing your fingers across her plump cheek.

“Billie huh?” Marko asked, laying on his side beside you with his bent arm elevating his head, his fingers reached out to brush against the blonde dusting of hair on the head of his daughter, a grin plastered on his face, an exhausted twinkle dancing in his eyes. "I like that... Wilhelmina it is.."

He now felt like finally, in these eight months of your pregnancy, that he could catch some shut eye. Time had become distorted, he had no idea whether it was daytime or night time any more, the two may as well have been blurred together. In your safe haven of thick black flowing curtains, Marko placed Billie delicately into your heavy arms, slumber already having wrapped you tightly in its deep and vast embrace. He curled his fingers around the dark fabric, pulling it skeptically out of the way. The room was swallowed in darkness, however, his nocturnal eyes easily scoped out the shut door at the other end of the room. He thought for a minute, capturing his bottom lip in between his teeth. He chewed on it for a moment before pulling himself up and off the bed. Truthfully now that his territorial rage had fizzled out he knew he owed the guys for how much of an ass he'd been when confronted with your unexpected labor. 

With tentative steps, so as not to disturb you, Marko flitted towards the shut door, no light seeping underneath the crack of the door. He twisted the knob carefully, a low squeak creeping into the air as he opened the door. He stepped out into the passageway leading to the main cave and began a somewhat hurried stroll. Honestly he was ecstatic to tell the boys. To show them his daughter was something he was practically bouncing on the spot for he couldn't wait! 

Marko, briefly unaware with his contemplation cluttering his mind, did not fully register the danger as he stepped forward into a stream of sunlight just up ahead cutting clearly through the decrepit roof of the hotel. It wasn't until the searing sizzle of his flesh did he register that he was caught aflame from the sun's rays. With a shriek he recoiled, battering at exposed flesh to kill the flames. He smoldered for a moment, back pressed to the wall as he peered into the vacant lobby of the ancient hotel. He sighed, shaking his head in dismay. "Dammit! Well... I guess they'll just have to meet Billie tonight then," he concluded with finality, not giving it much thought before he turned and made his way back to your room with heavy eyelids, finally content. As he padded softly into the room, shutting the door behind him, Marko couldn't help but feel relief wash over him. It was an enormous weight lifted from his shoulders now that he'd be able to go out to feed without fearing something could happen to you. That was more than enough to cure him of any and all anxiety that had previously immobilized him.

As he settled himself underneath the covers, he brought you closer, baby Billie placed tenderly between you both and he grinned half halfheartedly, a dopey, wide grin that pulled on his heavy eyelids. "I'm kinda glad you jinxed it, babe." he breathed into the air before he allowed the weight of sleep to shut his eyes and encapsulate him in its lulling motion.

#the lost boys #lost boys 1987 #lost boys imagine #lost boys fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction writing #lost boys #fanfic #80s movies #lost boys marko #alex winter #vampire drama #lost boys vampires #vampire pregnancy #vampire boys #vampires #fanfiction writer #fanfiction author #coauthor #collaberation #writer's collab #enjoy

[love101imagines]

Way too much

request: could u pls write a imagine with Sinan,I was thinking about him and you being the best childhood friends, but they ended up getting away a lot, so some teacher spends a double job and chooses them to do it together, so they spend a lot of time together and discover that they still like each other

tag list: @zaynlikfalls @wwafangirld @girl-looking-out-window

If you asked Sinan if he had ever been happy he wouldn't answer. However, his mind would go back to the time when he was six and he used to spend every hour with his best friend, meeting you since you two lived in the same neighborhood and we’re the same age. You, the girl he used to play around on the park under his grandpa's care, the same one he used to watch cartoons with until you two fell asleep on his couch, and the one he used to play wrestle until one of you ended up with an accidental bloody nose or a broken tooth.

You were also each other's first kiss, the result of a dare when you two were nine and you wanted to know what it felt like after you watched a romantic movie.

Everything changed when you turned twelve when it was one of those nights your parents were out and you two would stay up late watching horror movies. With a blanket covering most of your face and eyes glued to the TV, you didn't notice how Sinan was looking at you.

When a jumpscare happened and you yelped, immediately grabbing his hand, he blushed slightly, finally realizing he was in love with you. And it terrified him. Even more than the old movie you were watching on the couch in your living room.

He felt his heart breaking when a few days later you arrived at his house on the verge of tears because your dad had received an offer for a better job in Ankara and you would be moving in some weeks. The only thing he could do was hug you, trying to calm you down as you continued crying into his shoulder.

That had to be one of the many disappointments he would face during his life, but he slowly got used to it, expecting people to always leave him, just like you did.

"You're staring." Eda pointed out, a smirk on her face as she leaned against the wall behind her. "Who are you looking at?"

Sinan gulped, back to reality before he looked away. "No one." He snapped in an annoyed tone.

Eda rolled her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh as she went back to the drawing on the wall. He mentally cursed himself as he looked back at the group of girls standing nearby, no sign of the girl who had been his best friend for almost seven years. His mind had to be playing games on him, probably from drinking too many that day. There was no way you were at school, he must have seen someone similar.

He didn't have much time to think about it, focusing on the ticket Osman was handing to him for a concert.

"I'm off to the infirmary to sleep." He announced, already feeling a migraine he didn't have any intention of increasing.

Taking slow steps, he walked away from the group. The ticket was in his shirt's pocket, and he only had one thing in mind as he walked through the halls. To stop the feeling on the pit of his stomach after thinking about you in months and to sleep.

"Sinan!"

He didn't even get a chance to fully turn around before you crashed into him, standing on your tiptoes so you could wrap your arms around his neck. He didn't recognize you for a second, believing someone was about to punch him when he heard his name being called but he didn't even have time to flinch.

It was only a second though before his eyes widened and he wrapped his arms around your waist, finding comfort in the fact that nobody else was around and you two were the only ones standing next to the infirmary's door. Feeling you hug him again definitely was one of the best feelings in the world.

"(Y/N)?" He asked, chills running up his spine at the feeling of your skin against his.

You pulled away after a few seconds, even if you were sure the whole hug lasted for at least two minutes until he let you go. "The one and only." You teased.

You took a minute to get a good look at him, your hand still lingering on his shoulder. He looked...well, you didn't care about the bags under his eyes or the fact that his breath smelled of alcohol, the only thing that mattered was that you were with him again.

Sinan looked at you up and down too. Your hair was a bit shorter, not in your usual braids that you used to wear all the time. Your cheeks weren't as chubby as before and your legs weren't as skinny, and the small scar on your upper lip was faded almost completely, just like the one on the bridge of his nose.

But still, you were beautiful. That was undeniable.

You gave him a toothy grin, the same one you used to have all the time when you were kids. "It's so good to finally see you again. I missed you so much."

He nodded, a soft smile on his face as he looked at you, any thought about the migraine already gone. "When did you come back?"

As you started your rant about your father finding another job offer here in Istanbul and coming back a week ago, his mind couldn't help but drift off that you hadn't seen each other in years and many things had happened in between. His parents had abandoned him, he had turned into an alcoholic and he was about to be expelled. You, on the other hand, didn't know any of this, and he was sure you would look at him in disgust once you found out he wasn't the same twelve-year-old you had trusted with your whole life before.

He didn't even notice Osman calling him to meet when the rest until you tugged in his arm.

"What?" He asked emotionless turning to the taller boy.

Osman didn't seem to care, already used to his attitude. "Eda convinced Miss Burcu, we need to find a way to convince Coach Kemal."

Convincing Coach Kemal couldn't matter less to him, glancing at you because he wanted to take advantage of the fact that you still believed that he was the sweet boy who you had grew up with. It wouldn’t last for long, but he wanted to at least enjoy that time until you were disappointed.

You only gave him a reassuring smile. "Go on, I have to fix some things about my schedule but I'll see you later. We have a lot of catching up to do."

A bit less unsure than before, he nodded, giving you one last smile that lasted a second before he left, his heart pounding with so much force he didn't know how the rest couldn't feel it.

While Kerem was busy talking to their teacher, it didn't take much for him to run into you again, sharing your same classes. Even if most of the time he slept through Chemistry class without anyone bothering him, his brows furrowed as soon as he heard someone sitting next to him.

You only chuckled after waking the boy up, Sinan's face softening immediately. "Um, rough day?" You asked, not sure of what to say once you noticed the flask near his bag.

He shrugged, slowly leaving it inside his bag and taking out a notebook, trying to show that he cared about school even if he truly didn't anymore. Nevertheless, your bubbly attitude surely did something to him. It was like you two had never been separated before while the rest of your new classmates didn't understand why the new girl was hanging out with him, the depressed boy who mocked everyone.

It was to his luck that your teacher chose you two to work together on an assignment. Of course, you were happy, thinking you could make up for all the lost time and he allowed himself to feel happy too, even if he knew he'd fuck it up like he always did.

"So?" You started the next day as you two walked towards your home.

He raised a brow at you, his hands fumbling with the hem of his shirt. "So what?"

You rolled your eyes in a teasing way. "I want to know everything that happened since I left. My parents didn't tell me anything because they're busy with their new jobs and we haven't had time to talk. How are your parents?" You added, mindlessly looking at the colorful neighborhood you were walking past.

It was a loaded question and Sinan thought for a moment, waiting for you to find your keys in your bag. "They got divorced."

You almost dropped your keys in surprise, not knowing what to say like when you found him with his flask. "Oh." You mumbled, awkwardly opening the door for both of you. "I'm really sorry, I didn't know."

"It's fine." He brushed it off, not wanting things to change and be more awkward. "I've been living with my grandpa since I turned fourteen." He explained as he followed after you, taking off his shoes just like you were doing.

"How is he?" You asked with a smile, with a better mood knowing that the older man who used to take care of you two when you were younger was still alive.

"You know him, he doesn't die." He said, earning a slap to his arm.

You two ended up sitting on the floor of your room, a few books next to you, and a music cassette in the background. It felt like when you were seven, and he would trace out different pictures and you would giggle and try to bump his hand out of the way to color it in.

"What was Ankara like?" He asked as he turned the pages trying to look for something.

You continued highlighting a few phrases sitting in front of him. “Um, nice I think. I met a lot of people, went to a few parties, the school was pretty good.”

He glanced at you, absentmindedly doodling on his notebook. “Did you have fun in the city?” He asked sarcastically.

You punched his arm in a teasing way. “Yeah, but there wasn’t anyone like you.”

You only received a small smile before you sighed and moved over to sit next to him, knowing that he didn’t take notes and this was the most he had done in months.

“I have a question for you.” You told him.

“Go ahead.” He answered, still calm which was weird.

If someone else had asked him something personal he wouldn’t have answered or he would have given a sarcastic answer, but you were the one who was asking him. He could never snap at you.

You grinned at him. “How much did you miss me?”

He sighed, turning to look at you with a small sparkle on his eyes. “Way too much.”

It was in that moment with your smile that a small glimmer of hope built inside of him. It didn’t seem to bother you that he slept through most lessons, or that he showed up at school with messy hair and his tie undone, or that he always had his flask close to him. He hadn’t even taken a sip since you approached him that day so you two could go to your house.

“I tried to write to you.” He started, eyes directed to the floor so he didn’t have to meet your eyes. “My mum gave me your new address but...I always ended up crumpling them up and throwing them away.”

When you left, he used to write a letter every day, always trying to find the right words to express how much he missed you and to express his true feelings whenever he thought about you. It helped a bit to pour out all the feelings he didn’t know how to tell you in person, but out of fear of rejection or of ruining what was left of the two of you he never sent them, destroying them completely.

You furrowed your brows confused. “Why?”

A few seconds passed, your music being the only sound in the room.

You bit the inside of your cheek, fumbling with the hem of your skirt, knowing that things had changed between the two of you. “Sinan, it’s fine, I know that it’s been years since we...”

“Are you going to leave again?” He interrupted you, a hint of anger on his voice.

“What?” You blurted out.

“You left once, it wouldn’t surprise me if you did again.” He continued, a scowl on his face.

You crossed your arms, trying to act firm in front of him. “Are you serious? We were twelve, I didn’t have any choice and you know that.”

You stayed like that for a while, no trace of a smile on your face and a hard look on his until he gave up.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “It’s just, I...I don’t want to lose you again.” He admitted, vulnerability palpable on his voice.

You found yourself wrapping your arms around his shoulders again, hugging him for the second time in the same week. He didn’t seem to mind, his arms holding you by your waist and keeping you close to him.

“I won’t leave.” You added softly. “I promise.”

You tried to pull back to look at him, but it was to no avail, his grip on your waist tightening with each passing second. “Sinan.” You muttered, your hands finding his.

He was painfully aware of how close you are to him. It was like a deja vu from when you kissed for the first time, and with your eyes fixed on him, you didn’t even notice that one of his hands that was on your waist moved to the back of your neck until he was kissing you.

After you closed your eyes, you smiled against his lips. The kiss was slow, and you left your hands on his neck, bringing him closer. He didn’t pull away until you finally did for air, placing your forehead against his shoulder with your eyes closed, feeling your heart beat in your ears.

You weren’t seven anymore, you were now teens who could admit why you felt so comfortable around each other, or why one of the bests things of your day was to talk to him.

“About time.” You mumbled with a smirk, and he thought the same.

About fucking time.

#love 101 #love101 #burcu #eda #kerem #osman #sinan #ask 101 #aşk101imagine #sinanimagine #sinanxreader #aşk 101 #aşk 101 imagine #love101imagine #love 101 imagine

[addictofsupernatural]

Spidey Senses (pt. 4)

Peter Parker x reader

Summary: You and your friends prepare to go to a costume party, and Peter has conflicting feelings.

Word Count: 2917

Chapter 1 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 5

Peter stayed up at night thinking about you. He couldn't explain it. You were the only one on his mind for some unexplainable reason. The hotel room was the first time in a while you two slept together, and it was different from how he remembered. It didn't feel like sleeping in the same room with a sister that he slightly remembered as a kid. It made him feel weird.

You were so warm. You had your natural smell you always had, but it smelled a lot better than he remembered. A lot more calming. He could sense your happiness at full prime, and your sad ones too. You had a lot of happy emotions earlier this day, both in the hotel room and during the fight. It was hard to describe, but spending the day with you made him feel so warm.

And you and Tony's friendship. Peter did always love your sarcastic side, and he was so proud of you for showing it to Tony. You were so awesome. He's always thought you were awesome. So why did you feel different right now?

You were weirdly a lot prettier in his mind. His spidey sense was buzzing around you. He felt happy when you laughed. The feeling was still lingering by just thinking about it. And when you had your nightmare, he felt almost in physical pain himself.

Maybe it's just your spidey senses clashing with each other. Maybe it's the puberty kicking in? It's probably nothing. He just needs to go to sleep... Anytime now...

The next morning Peter ate his breakfast in a daze. "What's wrong Peter?" Aunt May asked. You're all spaced out."

"I don't know. Just thinking."

"Uh oh." She teased as he sat down. "About what? That Liz girl?"

"No. Y/n actually." He didn't realize how misleading that came out.

"Well finally. I was wondering when you'd realize your feelings for her."

"What?! Aunt May, no! That's not what I meant at all."

"Oh." She blankly said. "Then forget everything I just said. Have a nice day at school."

Meanwhile, you woke up back in your empty apartment with no excitement. As you ate your breakfast in silence, you felt like an idiot. How could you be so rude to Tony Stark? He was being nice in his own way. What the hell is wrong with you?

Your landlord then knocked on your door, giving you a huge suitcase and telling you that it was left for you by someone named Happy. You thanked him and opened it. It was clothing. A bunch of nice, expensive looking clothing. They were weirdly your style; they weren't flashy and didn't show off any brands. There was a card as well.

Hey kid. I might've came across as a rich jerk. That's not what I meant to be. Here's a little something so you don't look homeless. You're welcome. Also, here's Happy's number. Xxx-xxx-xxxx. Don't still be mad at me. Nobody likes a petty person. And besides, you're my favorite "other kid". Keep in touch. -TS

You smiled and put on a pair of clothes, texting Happy to thank Tony and for Happy to keep you posted about Tony and him.

You then walked to Peter's, waiting on the steps as usual. You smiled when he stepped out, and to your surprise, he just began to walk straight ahead instead of saying anything. "Woah, Peter wait up. You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Think so." He only gave you a glance.

"If you wanna talk, you know I'm all ears." You offered, and he took another glance at your beautiful smile, only making him more nervous.

"No, no it's okay. I'm okay."

"Oh." You quietly said. He was being so weird to you. Why wouldn't he look at you? "I didn't do anything, did I?"

"No!" He said too quickly.

"You can be honest with me Peter. I hope you know that." You only looked down, and he held his gaze to you for the first time today. "I'm really sorry if I did something. I just hope we can fix it so things won't be weird."

"What? No, I swear you don't need to worry. It's really not you. It's me. I'm... Going through puberty. Seeing things and people, uh, differently. Sorry if I'm being weird." His voice cracked on the word weird.

You giggled. "Oh. That's totally okay. I wonder if your spidey senses are out of wack from it."

"My what?"

"Your spidey senses. That's what I'm calling it. Aunt May calls it something else though, I just forgot what."

"No, you don't need to repeat what she calls it!"

You were genuinely curious. "Why not? Maybe it's a better name for us to—"

"I'm not letting you call it that!" He cut you off. Peter would be damned if you called your instinctive feelings your Peter Tingle. "I like spidey senses. It's cool and cute. Now what do you mean by it being out of wack?"

You figured if Aunt May's nickname for your sixth sense was truly that embarrassing for him then he wouldn't tell you, so you just dropped it.

"I was just wondering if your powers gets affected by puberty."

"How, how did you deal with puberty and your powers?"

"Oh, I started my period long before the spider bite. That could've been so sucky." He made a face, and you chuckled. "Right, no p word. Sorry."

"It's fine. Just don't want to think about it."

You sighed. "Me neither. I wish I had that option."

He smiled as his eyes drifted towards your clothes. "Did Mr. Stark get you those?"

You looked down at your outfit. "Yeah actually. I guess I didn't scare him off after all."

"I guess not." You nudged each other's arm to tease. "I have the check he made to you. I think you should take it. It could make him happy."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Peter. You always have my back."

As he stared at your smile and sensed your happiness, he had that weird feeling in him again. What was it? It didn't matter. Peter was going to push away those feelings and focus on school, Liz, and Spiderman.

Later on that day you got a text from Happy, saying that Tony accepts your apology, and to fill in on what's going on once a week for him and Tony. You did, and you could tell he cared. He would sometimes tell you a little something about his day or week. He was indeed becoming a good friend.

A few months passed and you and Peter adjusted to your new superhero lives well together. You and Happy texted each other at least once a week, and gave Peter Happy's number out of request. Tony was given information Happy thought he should know, and Tony was secretly happy to be hearing about how well you and Peter were doing. It made him feel like he was protecting you two from a distance.

One day at lunch Flash came up to you and began to gross you out yet again. "Hey girl, what're you doing next Friday night?"

"I don't know. I might take an extra shift at work. Not everybody has a silver spoon down their throats." You had a hint of annoyance to your words.

"Are you saying you need someone like me to take care of you?"

"I'm saying I might have to work because I actually earn the things I get in life Flash."

"Well not when you're someone like me you doesn't really have to worry about working hard on things. It comes naturally." He leaned on the table and shoved away Peter's backpack that was a seat holder, causing you to throw him a dirty look.

"What were you going to ask me Flash?" You kept your voice calm.

"Just wanted to know if you were coming to my party next Friday. Y'know, maybe show up to see me."

"I would never go anywhere to see you Flash."

"C'mon, I'm rich, you got a nice body, let's make other people jealous. I can make some dreams come true. It's not like you don't need the money."

"You didn't even care that I existed until a few months ago." You glared at him. This was a proper asshole. Now you knew.

"That's because it was when you started wearing better clothes. Now that I know there's a hottie under all that nerd, I can get behind it."

"The answer is no. Leave me alone!" You said a little more forcefully. People were beginning to stare, and Flash's face became red. No one said no to him.

"Okay, what's it gonna take to get you there?" He leaned in and asked quietly.

"Is anyone from Mathletes gonna come?"

"Yeah. I invited Liz and she told some other people in the club to come."

"Then I'll only go if I can bring Ned and Peter."

He scoffed. "Yeah, I guess."

"Okay then. We'll be there." He sighed in relief. Nobody says no to him, and still haven't.

Your annoyed expression forced itself to a barely there smile when Peter and Ned walked to your table. "Why was Flash talking to you?" Ned asked.

"I guess we're going to a party next Friday." Peter looked confused while Ned couldn't be more happy.

"Oh my God We can be, like, cool now!"

"Why would you say yes to a party from Flash?" Peter asked.

"Liz will be there." Peter's body language changed. "It's a costume party, so you guys find yourselves something to wear."

"You say it like your not going." Peter said, slightly disappointed.

"I'll probably go to make an appearance and leave." You said as you stared at your school food.

"But it won't be the same without you." Peter frowned and shook his head.

"Peter's actually pretty true about that." Ned contently nodded.

"I just don't want to go there. That's it."

"Why are you short today?" Peter blankly asked. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." You said. You then got up and dumped your food in the trash. "I'm gonna go to the restroom. Bye."

As you quickly walked off, Mj spoke up from the other end of the table. "You two are idiots."

"What did we do?" Ned sceptically asked.

"It's what Flash did. It's obvious that he said something to make her feel like crap. When is he not a rich narcissist?" Peter shot up and quickly went after you by hearing that.

"He's an even bigger idiot." Mj said.

"Yeah, but he'll figure it out someday." Ned shrugged, getting up and going after you too.

You got to the bathroom and put a bunch of paper towels on the corner of the floor. You set your backpack on the floor and sat down. You take out your phone and send a text to Happy, not really knowing who else to talk to. You usually only text him to give each other check ups, rarely actually communicating back and forth.

You: What do you do when a rich asshole makes you feel like you're worth shit?

You stared at your phone and scoffed. Don't be stupid. He's busy. You put your head in your knees. Why do people still get to you? Liz has a ton of money. You wondered if she ever had anything to be ashamed about.

People only started looking at you once you started wearing the clothes Tony got you. Most weren't even revealing at all, they just looked expensive. This was a different feeling. You used to feel ugly and invisible. Now you just feel like a piece of meat. You couldn't tell which feeling was worse. You then heard a buzz.

Bestie: What's his name? I swear I can scare the living crap out of him.

You smiled. He did care. You then saw another message.

Bestie: Also watch your language

You giggled.

You: You didn't answer my question

Bestie: Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person. Once they realize who's actually better, you get both their pride and your better life.

Looks like you really did have a friend.

You: Thanks Happy

Bestie: You didn't answer my question

You grinned.

You: Just some guy at school

You: Doesn't matter

You: I feel better now

Bestie: Good

Bestie: And I don't care what you say, Tony's going to be hearing about this.

You: Ugh traitor

It was embarrassing, but it wasn't like Tony would actually do anything. It's not like he'd drop everything and fly out here. He's a busy man, he's got more to worry about than you being bullied.

"Y/n, are you in there?" Peter asked from the other side of the door.

"We came to see if you were okay." Ned chimed in. You got up and went outside, looking at them confused. "I had to convince Peter not to barge in. I think those two girls passing by think we're creeps now."

"Aww you guys looked like peepers for me?" You pulled them in for a group hug. "I'm fine now. Thanks though."

Ned then spoke up again. "Are you still gonna leave us at the party? Cause we totally understand if–"

"If you guys want me to go, I'll go." They both hugged you again.

After school you walked to Delmar's Deli-Grocery. "Hey Del."

"Llegas una hora antes prima. No te pago horas extras." He said, his back turned.

("You're an hour early cousin. I'm not paying you overtime." He said, his back turned.)

"Relax primo, I'm just gonna do some homework in the back before my shift."

As you did, Delmar called for you. "Prima, someone's here to see you."

"Who is it, Peter?" You asked as you walked out. You then saw Tony stare at you with an unreadable face. "Damnit."

"Why does he call you that?"

"What?"

"Primuh– whatever. Why does he call you that?"

"It's a nickname."

"What does it mean?"

"It means cousin."

"So you two are related?"

"No, we're just that close."

"Can I call you that?"

"Can you pronounce it correctly?"

"Ouch."

"So what's up Mr. Stark."

"I thought it was just Tony."

"I don't know. It's a little unprofessional."

"Do we only have a professional friendship?"

"Are we even friends?"

"You tell me. You stole Happy from me apparently."

"Aye, it's like a mom's new boyfriend trying to get her kid's trust." Delmar said in the back.

"Little loud back there Del." You said.

"Happy told me about this kid. Does he mess with you a lot?"

"He messes with Peter more."

"You didn't answer me."

"Yeah, maybe. Is that really why you came out here?"

He furrowed his brows. "Is that hard to believe?"

"Um, yeah?"

"I've seen a ton of bullies as Iron Man, and I take things like this seriously."

You let out a breathy chuckle. "Tony that's war fare and alien stuff. This is just highschool."

"So? I don't take kindly to people who mess with my friends."

You couldn't stop the smile from coming to your face. Did you really just make friends with some important middle aged men? The thought was laughable. "So, will that be all Mr. Stark?"

"You know I don't like that. Stop." You giggled. "You didn't tell Happy what was going on with you this week."

You shrugged. "I guess I'm going to a costume party next Friday. It's gonna be at the ass wipe's house."

"See, I can do something about that. Okay, I got a date with Pep in a few hours so I'll see you and Peter tomorrow."

"Wait what? Why?"

"Um, so you two can get into costume design and later fitting? Whoever that kid is will be jealous of your costume, and you get to wear a cute couple costume with Peter."

"Happy told me I should just be the bigger person." You teased.

"Yeah, and you will be by being the better dressed person." He smiled at you.

"I knew you had a crush on Peter." Delmar said at the counter. You gave him a dirty look. He glanced at his watch. "You're 2 minutes late. Hurry up."

"Alright, that's my cue." Tony said. "Nice clothes by the way."

"Thanks." You said cheerfully. "My friend gave them to me."

"Wow he had good taste. Well, see you tomorrow kid." And with that he left.

You went to the back and caught the apron Delmar harshly threw at you. He gave you an intense stare. "What?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you take a job like this when you're hanging around billionaires?"

"I like this job. And I'm not a gold digger. He's just really persistent and there's no point of arguing."

"I should fire you for arguing with me so much." He called out.

"Keep it up and I'll stop covering some of your shifts."

"Mmh." He rolled his eyes and you contently smiled, starting work.

Later on that night you suited up, going to Peter's apartment and crawling up to his window. You opened it and crawled on the wall, closing the window. You hopped to the floor and pulled off your mask. "Peter, we need to talk. Tony just saw me today and–"

You stared face to face with a panic looking Peter in his boxers and a surprised Ned.

---

Author Note: Just so everybody knows this is my own au where Peter accidentally sent the video of you two to May and had a very interesting phone call with the both of you. I totally forgot to write this and just wrote this message after I posted this chapter. Maybe I'll make a little short of that idk.

---

Tag List:

@flawlessapollo6 @them-cute-boys @lunawndrlnd @the-greatt-perhaps @babebenhardy @sofisofi1602 @smilexcaptainx @herondalism @coni-martina @youvebeenlizzed

#mcu x reader #peter parker mcu #mcu au #marvel mcu #mcu fic #mcu peter parker #marvel peter parker #peter parker marvel #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x superhero!reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you

[katerinafeddy-blog]

Nothing Else Matters {Ilya Fedorovich}

Summary: Inspired by Kid Cudi's song "In my dreams". The reader is a part of the vlog squad and used to go to Vernon Hills with David and Ilya.

Note: So this is my first fic here, I've been trying to get a fic done for the past three years lmao. I hope you love this, enjoy xoxo

Attraction is the pull you feel with someone, the need to pay attention to the one that strikes out the most in the room when it's crowded. Think of it as being in a house party. A house party packed with people. Some are dancing, some are drinking and some are having the time of their lives with their friends. And you are also there with your friends having your time of your life. And then a cute stranger passes you and you can't seem to get them out of your mind.

In your case it wasn't a simple stranger. Nor a house party. Nor just an attraction you were feeling.

"You should have said yes to Jim instead of sitting here looking miserable as hell" Dima reported as he sat right next to you handing you a classic red cup filled with beer.

"You are also alone" Being alone at prom is one thing but not being with the person you want to is another.

"Fair enough" Nodding at Dima you let your gaze fall against Ilya again, dancing with his prom date. It would be a dream to be the one in his arms instead of Lauren. A dream... Letting out a deep sigh you took a sip out of your beer and tried to ease your pounding headache "I'm sorry... He didn't tell me he was going to ask...her. Everyone believed it was going to be you"

"Why?" You asked, your gaze now meeting Dima's eyes.

"Because I've never seen two people look at each other the way you two do"

I can think of anything that I've ever needed

School was finished but after prom night, Ilya and Lauren started dating. You wished to go on a trip like you did every summer with him, the boys and Natalie but Lauren had other plans. She did want to go on vacation but she only wanted to go with him alone. She also had a rude way of showing it but of course not in front of Ilya.

"Lauren, every summer we go on a camping trip for a couple of days with the whole squad, you should definitely come along this year!" Natalie requested kindly at her friend's girlfriend but the look on Laurens face was the epitome of mean.

"Me and Ilya are going alone." She replied, her expression remaining the exact same "Period"

"Okay then sure" David pondered poking your shoulder to get a reaction. You shook your head at him and decided to speak up when Alex cut you off.

"Are you sure? It's going to be really fun, we do that every year. We have bonfires, drinks, late night dives-"

"Oh my god what didn't you get, I literally just told you people that I want me and Ilya to go alone. If I wanted you people around me and my boyfriend I would tell you. You may be his friend but you are definitely not mine so stop" She snapped earning a sincere death glare from you. Lauren really had a big mouth. Ever since she was a kid actually and you would gladly put her in her place if Ilya hadn't entered the room.

And as you saw them sitting at David's porch, her on his lap you couldn't help but wonder; could you ever have that with him? Could you ever be able to show your love to him? To get what it feels like to be in his arms? Because you did deserve it according to Natalie. According to everyone. More than Lauren.

It was only when you slept you could truly get a tiny little peak of what it felt like being his. Your dreams were full of his face, full of his voice, his presence, his touch. However they were only just dreams.

Right here in my dreams everything is a-okay I don't worry about anything cause everyday's sunny.

It was 4am of the fifth of July when you received a call from someone you had not expected to call you such late at night. Ilya's name flashed in your screen when you checked the callers ID.

"Y/N/N?"

"Ilya oh my god it's 4am is everything alright?" You questioned flicking the light of the bedside lamp open. Five months ago it would have been normal for him to call you such late but ever since he got a girlfriend it had never occurred.

"I broke up with Lauren" He explained. To be honest it's not like you were going to be sad about it. Lauren had a reputation and she annoying and repulsive. It was no surprise this would happen.

"Oh my god Ilya I'm so sorry..." You pretended. Even though you were happy they broke up, seeing him sad over her would kill you. He deserved someone to love him. "What happened?"

"She said something about you" He took a deep breath and paused. He didn't sound exactly sad, more like frustrated "I realized she was just a bitch. To you and the rest of our friends. Dima also told me about the incident with the camping a couple of days ago. She called you a slut and I swear to god Y/N I had never been this angry my whole life."

" Oh Ilya..." After this you didn't really know what to say. He had been angry at his girlfriend calling you a slut. It sparked a little hope in you but you decided to bottle it up so he could tell you what else happened.

"She also cheated on me." Out of everything this is what angered you the most. This girl really didn't know what the hell she had. You would literally kill for Ilya and her random ass cheated on him? No man was worth cheating over Ilya with.

" What the fuck? SHE cheated on YOU?" You exclaimed putting emphasis on 'She' and 'You'. "This bitch is literally blind Ilya, I swear I'm going to punch her"

He chuckled softly into the phone. Ilya always knew that when you were angry you were acting physical. You always said you were going to hit someone but in reality you'd never even hurt a fly.

"I don't want to talk about her anymore. It isn't worth it" He stated. "I missed you"

"I missed you too Ilya"

You're in my dreams now

Two years later

Life had been really good the past two years. Your career took off and now you were a famous youtuber and a part of David Dobrik's, you childhood friend's vlog squad. Everything was going smoothly and no tragic event had occurred to shake things up.

Currently you were with David, Ilya and Dima in Ilyas company, sitting in his office. It had been a rainy day and you and David were back from LA for a couple of days so you had decided on visiting Ilya and Dima. You missed both of them a lot even though you would see them every other week since you were now able to travel from California to Illinois easily.

"Okay so, you mean to tell me you haven't hooked up with a girl ever since you broke things off with Lauren?" David questioned Ilya as he scoffed. Dima was amused and was ready to crack a joke but Ilya wouldn't let him have it.

"I just don't wanna sleep around with anyone and everyone. Besides I've got someone in mind for a long time" Even though Ilya muttered the last part, it didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the room. Both Dima's and David's heads snapped towards Ilya and they gave him smug smiles.

"And who could the lucky lady be?" You asked with a smile plastered on your face. In your dreams it would be you. You would be the one to be on his mind for this time he mentioned. Yet it would be cliché if he replied 'You'.

" You know her really well. Really really well. Like ever since you can remember yourself"

This is a dream come true, finding the perfect words to sing to you

"You look so beautiful Y/N" Ilya admitted looking at you with such love in his eyes, such admiration. His eyes held the kind of sparkle you see a little kid have when you give them a present for their birthday. Looking back at him, you realized he was more admirable than you ever knew.

A blush crept up to your cheeks as you smiled at him "I really don't but thank you.."

"You've always been the most beautiful woman I've seen. Don't doubt that." It was something about his words that brought tears to your eyes. He of course noticed and wiped them away with his fingers. "Why are you crying?"

"I just didn't expect that, I'm sorry"

"God Y/N/N" He said pulling you into a hug "You are the most beautiful, drunk companion I could ever ask for. Thank you for taking away the vodka when I have too much" Odd words, having nothing to do with what you were talking about but it's what made them special.

"I'm just doing that so I can drink it myself" You whispered into his chest earning a laugh from him "Remember New years eve at the Antonyan's house when you did shots with Dima?"

"Yeah why?"

"I changed your shots with sprite so you would win"

"I think I figured, you were obviously drunk and David told me so" The sound of the door opening made you separate from him, much to your disliking . Todd entered the room and winked at you and Ilya.

"Aw I'm sorry, I'll leave you two lovebirds to continue your make out sess-"

"TODD WE ARE NOT-"

"Whatever sweetheart" He sing-sang before exiting the room making kissing noises.

"Everyone thinks we are dating"

"We are definitely the best non-dating couple in the vlog squad"

"Yes" You marvelled "Yes we are"

Here in my dreams everything turns out dope

Leaving the party was probably the best decision you could take at that moment. It's not that you were too drunk, far from it actually. Partying two nights straight was exhausting even at 22. The loud music was intensifying the pounding in your head and the crowd dancing made you feel a different kind of exhaust.

Ilya felt the same way. He was currently dragging you in your room in David's house. Letting your hand go wouldn't harm nobody nor would you get lost. He just felt safer having you close in a sea full of intoxicated men. Pulling you into the room, he locked the door behind so no drunken couples could ruin your night by making out vigorously in front of you.

"Who's idea was it to have a party tonight out of all days? It's not like we got wasted and got up with killer hungover this morning, we'd have to go through it again tomorrow." You complained throwing yourself in your bed right next Ilya "I've taken so much Advil today I don't think I'll be able to feel pain for a good 10 days total"

" They should hire you to advertise their medicine, I've never seen anyone be so passionate about Advil" He joked and you got up from the bed "Where are you going?"

"I bought neon lights yesterday and I want to try them out. They were like 50$ and I've seen them on Kelsey's room, in pink but I bought them in red" You rambled, looking through the walk-in closet for the box "Found it!"

A good ten minutes after trying to set them up, Ilya decided to look through the instructions and finally you were able to switch them on. The illuminating red vibrant light was mesmerizing. The atmosphere around you had changed completely.

Still with your back facing him as you looked for a charger in your nightstand you carried on conversation. Conversation about love and feelings and soul mates. You knew he was yours.

Turning around to face Ilya you realized he was closer than ever.

The world around you stopped. In this planet its only you and him staring into each other's eyes, and Alex Turner's voice singing I wanna be yours in the background. Your heart was beating in your chest and you were sure he could hear it loud and clear.

The pull between the two of you was undeniable. The tension could be cut with a knife. You felt his breath mingling with yours, he was that close. Your ran your hand up his chest, neck and finally settled on his jaw and then he coudlnt take it no more.

And he's kissing you. Once, twice until you both finally have a taste of each other after years of unspoken feelings and you realize you could never have enough. He's everywhere. Everything is Ilya. He is up your back and over your arms and suddenly he is kissing you harder, deeper with a fervent urgent need you've never known before. The sweetest kind of pain.

His hands travel down you waist to the back of your thighs and he draws you closer, until you are straddling him. And yet he doesn't stop. How could he anyways. Your legs are on either side of his hips and you physically can't get any closer. He loves you and you love him. At this moment no words were in need. You don't need air, you are breathing him. He is giving you life.

And suddenly, everything else is gone, forgotten in the past.

Suddenly Lauren doesn't exist anymore.

And you are not crying in your bedroom over one-sided love.

And none of your friends tease you over your crush.

Because right now Ilya is making love to you with his kisses. His praises to you. His 'I love you's.

And nothing else matters.

#ilya feddy #ilya fedorovich #ilya fedorovich x reader #ilya fedorovich imagine #ilya feddy x reader #ilya feddy imagine #david dobrik #vlog squad #reader #reader insert #vlog squad imagines

[onebangtanstan]

Power Styles - Chapter Fourteen : The launch

I quickly turn off my alarm as Hobi is still fast asleep beside me. I gently leave my bedroom, letting him have a lay-in.

I check my phone while I'm waiting for my coffee to pour, and have a text from Jin.

« Hey Gina, just a bit worried is Hobi with you?»

I type « Hey Jin, yeah sorry he slept here, I didn't want to let him leave, he was a bit drunk and sad. »

The warm smell of coffee fills up my nose as I walk to the couch. I take a look at social media while I drink my coffee, and the first thing I see everywhere is articles about Namjoon's new hair color. Ughh, give me a break, I just woke up. Jin answers at the perfect time, just before I was starting to get angry again.

« Oh okay, thanks Gina. »

I don't have time to reply because a second text pops up on my screen.

« I've been meaning to ask.. Would you like to have dinner sometime? 🥺 »

I smile as butterflies invade my stomach.

« I would love too Jin 😌»

I open my computer to start working. My team has already started so I get updated on what has been done, and start editing the video clip. I prefer to do it by myself, so everything is perfect.

I decide to put on some music to not work in silence and figure I should get to know BTS before tour. I put on a random playlist and get back into working.

About an hour into editing, I start vibing to a bouncy song. It's so good that I actually start dancing in my living room.

I hear a laugh behind me, making me turn around and go red when I see Hobi.

« How long have you been there? » I shyly ask

« Not too long » He says « But long enough to see you vibing on RM's solo. »

Oh fuck. « Um I didn't know.. Coffee ?» I'm trying to divert the conversation.

« Yes please. » We head to the kitchen. « You don't have to be embarrassed, it's a good song. And it's healthy to have dance sessions. »

He smiles at me, presses play and turns the volume up.

Namjoon's voice fills up my apartment while Hobi starts jumping around, screaming the lyrics.

« I LIVE SO I LOVE! I LIVE SO I LOVE! LIVE AND LOVE, LIVE AND LOVE! IF IT'S LOVE I WILL LOVE YOU!»

« You should take that advice » I tell him.

« FIRST LET ME VIBE! »

I look at him dancing around my living room. First of all, wow, he's an amazing dancer. Secondly, he's so cute. He looks so happy in this moment, I can't help but smile at him. I must look like a proud mom.

He falls down on the couch when the song is over. I join him soon after with his cup of coffee. He grabs it from my hands as soon as I hand it to him.

« Did you sleep okay? » I ask him.

« Yes, thank you again. I really needed it. » He looks at me gratefully.

« Anytime. » I smile back at him. « Did you think about our talk? »

« Yes I did. » I look at him anticipatedly. « I'm going to tell him. »

« Oh Hobi that's amazing! » I pull him into my arms. « Just know that whatever you need, I'll be here to support you. »

« Brilliant, because I was thinking of a grand gesture. »

« How so? » I'm intrigued.

« Well we have the dinner on Monday and I was thinking a speech? So then the boys would know too. He's already out, so he wouldn't mind. »

« That would be epic. »

I get back to work soon after, and Hobi just stays with me all day, asking me questions about the editing. I eventually close my computer around 6pm.

« Right, that's enough for today. » I'm actually surprised, I got a lot done today and will only need to add finishing touches tomorrow. «What are we doing tonight? »

« Dinner and drinks? My treat. »Hobi says. I nod back, it's exactly what I need.

« Brilliant. Let me go back home to get ready and I'll pick you up at 8. »

« Perfect! » I say

I start getting ready as soon as he leaves. I take a long shower, allowing the water to rinse all the tensions away. I tie my hair up in a tight bun, put on my makeup and head towards my wardrobe. I feel good tonight, so I pick a nice outfit to match my mood.

My phone bings as I'm about to put my clothes on. It's a text from Hobi.

« Hey, I should be here in 30 minutes. Quick question, is it okay if Jin tags along? »

« Absolutely! » I text back, and think about how my outfit is a perfect fit for tonight.

Hobi calls me just as I'm putting my coat on. I quickly leave my apartment to join him and Jin in the black SUV.

« Wow Gina, you look amazing! » Hobi says

« Why do you sound surprised? » I tease him, and look over to Jin, who is just staring at me. « Hey Jin. »

He snaps back into reality « Um, hi Gina, how are you? »

« Good, thank you. » I'm amused by his first reaction, but he hasn't seen my outfit yet. This is going to be fun.

We arrive at barbecue restaurant in Gangnam. Jin, as a true gentleman, opens the door for us. A waitress brings us to our table, and I wait for the perfect moment to take off my coat. Jin's eyes almost pop out of his head. Mission accomplished.

« Oh wow. » Are they only 2 words that he can manage to say.

I act as if I didn't notice how he's looking at me. I sit down and start looking at the menu, feeling his gaze on me.

We decide to order a bit of everything and just share. We also order a nice bottle of red wine and some soju.

We start eating and drinking and talking. At first we talk about work, but as the drinks kick into our systems, the conversation drifts to nonsense. All of a sudden Hobi stands up.

« LOOK WHO'S HEEEEERE! » His glass is held up high towards the other side of the room. « TAE-TAE AND KOOKIE! » I giggle at the knicknames, turning my head to notice them coming towards us.

« Hey guys, what's up? » Kook says.

« Eating, drinking, talking, all that, you know?» Jin answers.

« Come have a drink with us! » Hobi tells them.

They sit down after a few minutes of us practically begging them to join us. They're both a bit tipsy but definitely not on our level. We take it upon ourselves to get them in the same state as us by starting a drinking game. They quickly catch up on us, causing general hysteria at our table.

We start sobering up after a while.

« Right, we're going to go. » Tae says, looking intensily at Kook.

« Sure thing. » Kook smiles back at Tae, almost blushing.

We all decide to leave and end up on the street to say goodbye.

Tae and Kook hop into a car, that soon disappears into the night. They seemed to be in a hurry.

« Come on let's go. Gina we're bringing you home. » Jin says, and I don't interject ; I'm still quite drunk.

I stare out the window the whole way back, seeing the city lights go past us. Seoul truly is beautiful at night, with all the signs lighting up the streets.

Hobi has fallen asleep by the time we arrive at my building. Jin helps me get out of the car and into my building.

He's holding me in his arms while we're on the lift. I can feel myself almost falling asleep leaning on him, his heartbeat sending soothing rushes through my body.

He takes my keys out of my hands after seeing the way I'm struggling to open my door.

« Are you good from here? » He asks.

« S-sure. » I stutter and trip at the same time.

« Right, let's get you to bed. »

He carries me into my room and lies me in my bed. His arms feel so good around my body.

« Will you manage to take off your clothes or do you need help? »

I simply groan, indicating him to help me. He gets to the top, and takes it off as I realize I'm not wearing a bra. I'm too tired to care, but he pauses for too long. I move under my covers to break the awkwardness. He walks up to tuck me in.

« Goodnight Gina. » He whispers. He kisses my forehead softly but I can feel the lust in his lips pressed on my skin.

I barely hear the door close, already lost in my dreams.

I have a hard time remembering where I am when I wake up, and how I ended up in my underwear. Flashbacks from last night come streaming in my head. Wow, I was really drunk.

I pull myself out of bed, throw a robe on and head straight to my coffee machine.

I sit on my couch with my warm mug, staring through the window, slowly waking up.

A text alert brings me back to earth

« How are you feeling today? » It's Jin. He's so thoughtful.

« A bit drowsy but okay. Thanks for last night, and sorry if I made you uncomfortable.. »

« Well I couldn't leave you like that by yourself.» A second text comes in straight after. « Uncomfortable wouldn't be the feeling. »

I giggle at his text before typing a reply. «Might I know what it was then? 🙄»

« I'd rather not tell you 😏»

I smile. I know exactly what the feeling was, I'm feeling it right now.

I force myself to snap out of it, I have work to do.

I open up my computer and start working on the video once again.

The day goes by as I finish the campaign. My team is also working really hard and we end up finishing everything before schedule.

I decide to text the boys.

« Hey guys! So quick update on the campaign : everything is edited and almost ready for the launch tomorrow. Get ready, it's going to be everywhere at 12. »

I put my phone down and head to the shower. I hear the notifications go wild. I pick it up as soon as I step out.

Hobi : I CAN'T WAIIIIIT 🤗

Kook : Yay! Thanks for your hard work Gina

Yoongi : Thanks for your update !

Jin : Brilliant!

As usual, Jimin didn't answer but strangely Namjoon did. And it wasn't a mean answer either. It reads « Very well, could you keep us updated tomorrow too? »

What? He's asking for news?

« Sure no problem » I answer.

I look at the time and decide to head to bed. I haven't slept a lot this weekend and I need to be in good shape tomorrow.

The next day, I get ready for work and stop once again for coffee and food for everyone.

We have quite a chill morning, since everything was done this weekend. We're just going over a few details, and even have time to talk about the tour.

We all gather in the conference room at 12 to see the official campaign. M. Yi joins us too.

The countdown starts on the screen and there it is. My team and I watch the final product of our hard work being sent out to the world. We're very proud of it. We put every effort into it in such a short time.

M. Yi starts clapping and we all join in.

We pop some champagne and stay there for a bit before I send my team away. I was able to get them the next two days of since I took up their weekend.

« You did well Ms Douglas. » M. Yi is now standing beside me.

« Thank you, sir. I promise the tour will be better, I'll have more time to be prepared. »

« Better than you pulled off here would be phenomenal. I made the right decision hiring you 3 years ago. »

« I'm very grateful sir. »

He proceeds to leave the room as my phone starts blowing up. It's the group. They're all congratulating me (almost all of them) and telling me how much they love it. I also notice a private text from Jin.

« Come downstairs. »

I gather my stuff with butterflies in my stomach and head to the elevator.

When I walk out, I see Jin standing there with a huge bouquet in his hands.

« Congratulations Gina. »

« Oh my God, Jin! Thank you so much they're beautiful! » I truly am surprised. « What are you doing here? »

« I thought we could spend the day together before heading to Tae's what do you think? »

« I'd love that. »

We leave the building side by side, my arm hooked around his, while feeling my colleagues' stares on us.

#btsfanfic #bts #kpop #fanfic #seoul #jin #jin x oc #hobi #hobi x oc #fila

[immiesradio-blog]

You’re My Best Friend ~ Roger Taylor x OC 3

Chapter 3

January 1968               Barbara's P.O.V

Freddie was incredible that day. His talent was something that I really couldn't put into words and me and Stella had sat watching him play for hours with a few others in his band who he had named 'Sour Milk Sea'. It was an enlightening few hours and in the following months me and Stella would go and see him play as much as we could after lesson times.

I adored him and the music that he played with his band so much, practically becoming one of his little cheerleaders, definitely his number one fan. In November, two months ago, he had organised a small gig with his band for my eighteenth birthday. Which was, might I add, a very fun experience, half of it I couldn't remember.

All I could remember was me and Freddie dancing like absolute fools until Stella had passed around shots which all three of us downed quickly at the same time. The next morning I woke up at the bar, Stella was on the floor and Freddie slept in a booth with intense headaches and aching eyes.

Me, Freddie and Stella would often come to the university campus' bar, spending our time socialising and having a few drinks. Every day before going to work we would all go there, just to let loose a bit after working ourselves to the bone doing some Graphic work and Stella, working on her project of textiles, apparently designing and creating extravagant items of clothing.

I feel a tap on my shoulder as I took a sip of my drink, I turn myself around as I place the glass on the table in front of me, seeing Mary stood by the booth, she smiled as soon as I made eye contact with her.

"Hi Barbara, sorry to interrupt," she says, her eyes darting around the booth at Stella and Freddie who she flashes quick smiles at, her eyes lingering on Freddie for a few seconds longer, "You're doing the same hours as me today aren't you?"

"Yeah! Same time as usual," I tell her, looking around for a clock as I had completely lost track of the time, "Do you know what time it is?"

Mary laughs, "Don't worry, don't worry, we still have about an hour until we have to be there."

I let out a sigh of relief as I smiled widely at her. She was about to turn away and make her way out of the bar, but stopped as soon as she heard Freddie ask me, "Can't your friend join us?"

"Ah yes, of course she can, Mary? You must join us for a drink," I call her, looking at Freddie knowingly, it was clear that he found her attractive.

She smiles, shuffling around the booth and taking the space next to Freddie, her face going slightly red at Freddie's eye contact.

"This is Mary, Mary, this is Freddie and Stella," I tell them, pointing at each of them as I introduced and said their names.

"I like your coat," I hear Freddie say as he leans towards her, she had his undivided attention.

"I got it from Beba," she replies, smiling flirtatiously.

"She works there with me," I interrupt, smiling devilishly at the both of them, finding it amusing that they were both so obviously attracted to each other.

I could hear Stella giggle beside me, both of us finished our drinks as we watched Mary and Freddie engage in a very flirty conversation.

On the way to work with Mary she wouldn't stop asking questions about Freddie, it was so sweet and I knew that the two would most likely end up being together. She already seemed so taken with Freddie after just one conversation and it made me smile, but I also felt just a slight feeling of envy at idea of wanting to feeling so strongly about someone.

Soon after Mary and Freddie had first met, Mary would often come to the bar before we would go to work to be with us, more specifically, Freddie. One day, Freddie had even come to Beba to see her. I watched them from afar, smiling largely at the tension between them, when Freddie saw me he waved and blew a kiss before diverting his attention back to Mary.

After a while the friendship group of three had turned into four. Even after Freddie and Mary had got extremely close, our friendship never changed and he always made sure that he spent time with me which I greatly appreciated.

I could see that Freddie loved her by the way that he spoke about her when she wasn't around and it made my heart melt, he was such a sweet man.

"Mary's running a clothing stall in Kensington, I might just help her with it," he tells me, smiling shyly at the thought of her.

"You going to tell her yet?" I ask him, a smirk forming on my lips as his face reddens a little.

"Tell her what?"

"That you like her, silly," I answer followed by nudging his arm a few times and winking playfully at him.

"Alright, alright, what are you, some kind of mind reader?" He asks, probably rhetorically as he worked on his Graphic design.

"No Fred, Its just astoundingly obvious," I reply leaning closely towards the drawing in front of me that I was working on, "I think this needs some paint."

"Over there darling," he points towards the opposite side of the room, "That is looking quite marvellous."

"I know," I state, laughing as I sassily throw my hand up in the air and stand up, walking towards the other side of the room and grabbing a few tubs of acrylic before sitting back down, leaning over to look at Freddie's work, "That's also quite marvellous, Mr Bulsara."

Freddie would sometimes stay after class time with me in order to spend extra time working on our projects, while other days he would join Mary at their clothing stall. He had offered for me to come a few times and I had intended to go, but I would end up either doing an extra shift at Beba or staying even longer drawing or painting on site.

I was often also invited to gigs by Freddie, bands that he had seen around being advertised on posters. He'd always ask me because out of everyone else that he knew, I was the one who had related to him the most when it came to music and our love for it. Sometimes I would come with him to see these bands and if it was Freddie playing I would always make sure that I had the night free so that I could see him play, Mary would often join me in the audience too.

Other nights I wasn't able to make it due to working, considering the fact that it was becoming quite challenging to make sufficient money in order to keep the apartment that me and Stella were staying in, we only just managed every month to pay with a little money left over, which meant that I had to do extra shifts in order to pay for everything else.

On one of the nights that I hadn't been able to go, Freddie and Mary had finally got together, I found out the next day that they had become official. Me and Stella jumped up and down in joy at the fact that  they had decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend, it was getting painful watching their sexual tension.

Mary soon after they had starting dating, would often talk to me about Freddie and the sexual side of their relationship, how amazing it was, talking about it as if I knew the ins and outs of sex. I couldn't say much considering I hadn't been intimate with anyone and just nodded along to everything that she would say.

She had caught on pretty quickly, that I was pretending to listen and agree with her, like I knew what she was talking about, "You have no idea about what I'm saying do you?"

I stayed silent for a few moments before saying, "I know everything there is to know about sex. I am a sex goddess I'll have you know."

"Is that right?"

"Very," I say, trying to sound proud, crossing my arms and keeping my head held high in a joking manner.

"You're not fooling anyone," she replies, laughing as she rearranges clothes that have been put on the wrong rails.

I sigh, "Alright fine, I know things. I just haven't done them so to speak."

"I'm quite surprised," she says, watching my expression turn confused as she spoke, "I don't know, you're extremely pretty."

Shrugging my shoulders as I help her with rearranging the clothes, "I suppose so. But men are confusing creatures that I haven't figured out yet."

"Is that your way of saying that you're waiting to find someone?" She asks. What she had asked me was quite enlightening actually and it was true too, I suppose I was waiting, which made sense as to why I'd not been in an exclusive relationship before.

"Yeah."

She smiles slightly, "I respect that very much."

I was beginning to become more open minded to the idea of finding someone and giving all of my love to them, as long as they gave their all to me. I was also beginning to feel more confident in myself, I deserved love just as much as everyone else. I was young before and I was starting to understand that Steve Harrington was not worthy of me at all. With the help of my friends, we all were secure in each other, we loved and respected one another and we did everything in our power to help each other because we all cared for each other.

That's probably what I was missing before, why nothing lasted, but then I realised that I still pictured Roger as my best friend, after everything and after not talking or seeing him in the last 2 years, I still cared for him no matter what. That meant that our friendship was truly unbreakable and that maybe things could be made right, if I ever saw him again that is.

But months went by and everything was still the same, I was very happy and would smile genuinely with my incredible friends, but other times I would also sit back in the living room of the apartment and think about what my best friend was doing right at that moment, if he had really forgotten about me or if he was thinking of me in the moment too.

"Barbara darling, would you please accompany me tonight?" Freddie asks, placing my gin and tonic in front of me as he takes a seat beside me.

"Doing what? Purchasing all of the alcoholic drinks on the menu, new cocktails maybe?" I ask, giggling as I see him slurping down his drink.

"As much as I'd love to do that, I was actually asking you to another gig," he informs me, smiling widely as he places his glass back onto the table in front of us, "A very new band I've seen on a few posters around here, one of my band knows the lead singer I believe."

"Oh yeah?" I ask, very interested in going, thinking about whether there is anything important I had to do tonight, but after just a few sips of alcohol a few moments before, my mind was beginning to fuzz a little, "The name?"

Freddie had to think for a few moments before actually answering, clearly the drink had also began taking effect on him, "Smile."

"Why?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows at his command, "Do I have something in my teeth?"

He begins laughing hysterically, leaning his head back against the back of his seat with his hand resting against his chest.

"What?" I ask, feeling extremely stupid due to not having a clue as to why he was laughing.

"S-smile - smile is th-e name of the band!" He manages to say in stutters as his laughter dies down, "Sometimes I wonder why I am friends with you."

I couldn't help but giggle at my stupidity before smiling crookedly, "Because I'm fucking fabulous darling," I attempt to copy his voice.

"I know you are," He reassures, smiling largely, "So will you come?"

I down the rest of my drink before slamming it back onto the table, "I'll see, you know how busy I get."

"Why don't you have some fun tonight?" He asks rhetorically, "Drinks are on me."

Maybe I should go, I thought. After a short while I had decided that I would join Freddie.

What other way was there to end a long and boring day of work than dancing with my best friend, shit-faced and surrounded by music?

__________________________________

The next chapter may be in third personnnn I haven't decided yet but yeeeee, or starting as a third person and then going into first person.

Anywayyyyyy, hope you like the book so far as much as I love writing it :))))

I

#roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x oc #oc #barbara rosabella #barbara palvin #fanfic #fanfiction #love #love story #romance #slowburn #best friend #story #queen #queen x reader #queen x oc #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #cast

[lateniterhymesandjustifiedcrimes]

I haven't been here in a while...

And wow I’d forgotten I used to write. I miss that part of me. I guess getting older really does change a person. I’m 25 now and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I have so many dreams. I wanna move to Korea and make a life there. It just looks so beautiful and fresh. I want that, Fresh. I want to start a YouTube channel. I’m even working on a concept now, but it’s proven to be tougher than I thought. Well, not really tougher, but unforeseen obstacles are presenting themselves. I want a dance studio. But nowadays I’m more broke than my boyfriend trying to sell his mixtape (inside joke).

Oh I have a boyfriend.

He’s a guy I loved 7 years ago. A guy I ruined a perfectly good 2 year relationship for. I literally crossed an ocean to tell a man I loved I was leaving him for a man I loved 7 years ago. Why? I don’t fucking know. I’m just a terrible person. I need to start from the beginning.

My stories normally don’t include names but here’s an exception. I met Anthony in fall 2010 when I first started college. He was this scrawny Filipino guy and idk but I wanted him. He was kind, innocent, a little shy, and really funny. I was into that back then because I was this little virgin girl who wanted another virgin to lose her virginity to, kinda like equivalent exchange (that didn’t happen, but that’s another story). I made an effort to be his friend (and through that effort, I met the people who would eventually became my family). Our friends totally shipped us, too. Anthony and I went on 1 date. To Mr. Taco. And we walked there. Yeah, neither of us could drive at the time. But, we had great conversation and I popped his horchata cherry. I really thought we connected.

Unfortunately, Anthony only saw me as a friend. For the first time, I knew what true friend zone felt like. I say true friend zone because people like to complain about being in the friend zone but never let the object of their affection know they’re interested and then stay in the friend zone. I made my intentions perfectly CRYSTAL clear. Men can be such idiots.

Anyways, time went by and we added another girl to our group. Anthony was totally into Maribel and no matter how hard I fought for his affection, he only saw her. They would date for 4 years. During those 4 years I had lost contact with him because she was the type of girl who commanded all of his attention. He had lost contact with all of us and broke some friendships because of her. During those 4 years, I’d managed to date 3 guys; Darek (most annoying dude on the planet and I have no idea why we’re still friends today), Phil ( the man I regret losing my virginity to, who is now engaged to a woman I’m pretty sure he cheated on me with), and Sammy.

I met Sammy through tinder. I joined tinder to feel wanted again (this was after my breakup with Phil and I was feeling incredibly empty because I was no longer pure). I didn’t expect much from Sammy. I just wanted to casually date. Of course this guy had other plans. After our first date (movie and accidentally meeting most of my friend group…awkward), he kissed me goodbye and that had to be the most passionate, sexy thing I’d ever experienced. Which is why I agreed to a second date…and a third date…and having sex with him…on my period…in his car…yup. On our 4th or 5th date (I can’t remember) he asked if we should make us exclusive.

Now in my head I was like hell fucking no. Sammy was in the navy and I knew from the get go I wasn’t into long distance shit. Plus I just wanted to be a slut. He wasn’t my type at all. He was a bit shorter than me, not super attractive (shallow I know, but I’m thinking about my future children here), he liked music I made fun of, and he didn’t dance. And I told him this shit. So we continued fucking around until he left for Hawaii.

Shortly after he left he told me the ship was taking a trip to Santa Barbara for a weekend for supplies or something. Idk why but I didn’t hesitate when he asked if I could meet him there. And it was best weekend of my life. We finally boned in a bed. We talked so much. We drank and danced and sang and kissed. We kissed a lot. And sometime during that weekend, not at the same time, we told each other “I love you.” He would be gone for 2 months and when I finally got to see him again, I knew we were in this for the long haul.

When you’re in love with someone, the things that didn’t initially attract you to them start to become attractive. Like his body. And his taste in music. And his style. And his personality. We were a great couple. He taught me responsibility and I taught him acceptance. And what I mean by acceptance is that I wasn’t his type of girl either. I dance, I love the gays, I’m irresponsible af, and I’m black. But we both became more open and better people because of each other. I had never so physically and spiritually attached to a person. I learned to do the long distance thing and for the first time really truly understood the need for your love's presence. I craved Sammy like nothing I'd ever craved in my life.

A little over a year passed and I was convinced this man was god sent to be my husband. We had met each other's families and were accepted. Sure, we would fight and argue a few times, but that's healthy and the make ups were well worth it. We talked about baby names and our future. A future that included Japan. His ship was moving to Yokosuka and we would be apart for 2-5 years. I was devastated and reminded why I didn't want this relationship early on, because of the long distance. But because of how much I loved him and how strong I believed our love to be, I stayed. We made plans for me to visit 5 months after he left. It would be the longest amount of time I would be without him. But I believed in our love.

Until Anthony came back into my life. I got invited to his 23rd birthday out of the blue and we reconnected. It had been a while since we'd been with our old group I started college with (he left because of Maribel and I left because of Darek). We both were a little lonely so we started hanging out again. Just the 2 of us. And we TALKED so much. I'd forgotten how close we used to be and the things we had in common. I thought it felt like we were dating, so I invited the whole group out for a day in LA so we wouldn't be alone. Those fuckers agreed and I went ahead and made plans and the day before everyone canceled, except Anthony. They were shipping the hell out of us again. The problem was that I was already happily taken. Our group trip turned date was really fun. And I was afraid of that. We got home late that night and I ended up sleeping over at his house. This wasn't the first time I slept over in his room. But this time was different. There was this tension between us that had never existed before. He was gonna give up his bed for me, but I insisted he sleep in his own bed. We both ended up in his bed. We didn't cuddle. And I couldn't sleep. So I rolled over to face him. And he rolled over and put his hand on my arm, like a really awkward cuddle. And I asked him, "How different would our lives had been if we had dated all those years ago?" (Or something very similar.) I don't remember his response, but I do remember my breathing suddenly getting ragged and me leaning in to kiss him.

First kisses are so fucking magical. Just something about kissing a new person for the first time oh my god. My first kiss was pretty bad, so every kiss afterward was mind blowing because I started kissing guys that knew what they were doing. The way he kisses me and holds me and his eyes and that thing he does with his tongue ahhh it's different for every guy and it's a fantastic and wonderful and different feeling every time. I live for those feelings. In that moment kissing Anthony, I forgot I had Sammy. And in that moment I knew I was never quite over Anthony. Anthony and I knew what we were doing. But staying away from each other was just too difficult. We never had sex, but with all the time we were spending with each other, we might as well have.

I was so conflicted. I started hating myself all over again. I never imagined myself as the cheater in a relationship. Sammy and I made a rule that if either of us cheated, that would be the end of the relationship. And at this time, I had already bought my ticket to Japan. Non refundable. I was going whether I liked it or not. And my 2-week notice was already in at work. I was so disgusted with myself for not being strong enough to stay faithful to my man. But I was also happy because of Anthony. He had a way of making a problem disappear. But eventually I had to tell him that we couldn't be together. I loved Sammy and I planned on marrying him one day. We had plans to move to New York together after Japan. Anthony cried and his crying made me cry. Nobody was a winner here.

I flew to Japan and met up with Sammy. It was supposed to be a beautiful magical reunion, but I was clearly bitter. I spent the whole flight thinking about how to tell him I cheated. He noticed but didn't comment. I spent a week getting settled in, going on dates, taking in the sights. Every moment with Sammy in Japan made me want to stay with him forever. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. I told him what I did after I had a dream of me confessing. We talked for so long. He was willing to take back our rule if we both agreed to look over this and stay together. And I almost agreed. The words telling him yes we're on the tip of my tongue. But that's also the moment I realized it didn't matter how in love I was with Sammy. I wasn't trustworthy nor grateful enough to be his forever. He didn't deserve someone as unworthy of his love as me. So I told him I was choosing Anthony. I felt the weight of that decision immediately. He started crying. I never want to be the cause of such sadness ever again. I've never hurt anyone the way I hurt Sammy that day. He told me he had bought a ring and was planning on proposing the second month I'd be in Japan in Kyoto. It was a proposal only he could pull of and super cheesy and so much better than the proposal I'd fantasized about. And that's when I started crying. We spent the next week trying to figure ourselves out and angry fucking (best sex of my life, hands down). He tried to salvage our relationship but it was quickly made apparent that what we had was broken. My last night in Japan we had our last date. And was wonderful, but bittersweet. And the next day, I was all packed up to leave. He walked me to the elevator and as the door closed told me I can still stay if I want to. To this day, I still question if I made the right decision.

Anthony picked me up from the airport and our relationship blossomed from there. A year and a half later and we're still together. Sammy and I stopped talking, but I'm still not over him. I know that's unhealthy especially since I'm with someone else, but I can't help but still love him. I never wanted to leave. But I knew staying wasn't any better. That's not to say I don't love Anthony. I just don't love him the same way. The connection between Sammy and I is completely different than the one between Anthony and I. Both different, but both amazing. In hindsight, I should have taken more time to be single before jumping into another relationship, but I just couldn't stay away (slut).

I drank almost every day and watched any and every romance movie on Netflix when I got back. I was unemployed, lazy, and emotional. I stopped dancing. I gained weight. I developed a loathing for myself. This lasted for 8 months and Anthony wasn't having that shit, so he pretty much forced me into a summer dance intensive and made me get a dance job. I also got my job back at Ihop and went back to school to get more AA's. I think that's what made me really love Anthony, how he pushed me.

I don't want to get too into our relationship because I feel that should be a separate story. I just feel compelled to tell the story of the man I would literally cross an ocean for and the expensive breakup that followed. I guess only time will tell if I made the right decision. It's 4am and I have to be up in 3 hours so it looks like I'll just end the story here. Good night.

#StoriesToMyChildren #JameyRobinson