#a mans intimate relationship with this ice is HIS business

[whenipe]

“i love complex queer identities” you guys couldn’t handle christophe giacometti

#yoi #christophe giacometti #yuri on ice #kier.txt #a mans intimate relationship with this ice is HIS business #even if it airs on international television

[leclercss]

Tainted Love, Part 5 (Charles Leclerc ft Lewis Hamilton)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Masterlist

plot: in an attempt to fix your marriage, you've reluctantly agreed into being in an open relationship with your husband. so far, it's only been your husband that has taken advantage of your recent arrangement until one night out you meet a man who makes you begin to question your marriage.

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings: (+18) mentions of smut, cheating and some swearing

authors note: sorry for taking so long to post part 5. Life has been life-ing and it’s been so busy. Thanks for all of your kind words in the mean time x

word count: 4.5k

taglist: @ironmaiden1313, @ru-kru, @buendiabebeta, @flwr-quicksilver, @ravioli19, @julesandro, @hornedravenclaws, @thatobsessedreader @pinkangelavenue, @queenofshinigamis, @notleclerc, @paullinne, @bisexualbith, @tempo-rary-fix, @bbygrlllllll, @teenagedreams-cl, @lunamelona, @leclerc16s

“Are you sure you’re okay with us doing it in my car?”

You can’t help but giggle at Charles' question.

“Charles, it’s fine,” you reply in between your giggles. “I’ve had sex in worse places than this”.

Charles furrows his eyebrows at your response. “Like where?”

You giggle again. “Charles, we snuck out of the party so we could have sex. Are you really using the limited time we have to ask me about the random places I’ve had sex?”

“Good point!”

After you and Charles’ close call with Whitney in his bedroom, the two of you put your heads together to find a place where you could have sex without getting caught. And somewhere as far away from Whitney as possible.

And so with the limited options you had thanks to the apartment upstairs being filled with partygoers, Charles had suggested that you guys could go to his car in the garage. And while it wasn’t the most comfortable of places for you two to get busy in, it was much better than your suggestion of finding somewhere behind the apartment building.

So that’s how you ended up here, on Charles’ lap in the passenger seat with your legs either side of his. Your skirt and underwear are somewhere in the backseat after Charles practically tore them off your body.

He’s currently pulling at your top so he can have a front row view to your boobs, which he’s become very attached to in the short space that you’ve known him.

Deciding that you’re not the only one to be practically naked in the car, you start to unbutton Charles’ shirt. He helps you by pulling his arms out of the sleeves before you throw the clothing into the backseat, finding space alongside your discarded clothes.

“You look so beautiful, amour,” he tells you as his eyes are fixated on your body. His hands feel like ice against your skin before they make way to your boobs. He runs his thumbs over your exposed nipples and they harden at his touch. A shiver runs through your body, once more your body instantly reacting to his intimate touched. He gropes your boobs for a little longer before his hands make their way down to your stomach ever so slowly. Your skin is tingling at the sensation of feeling him touching you.

His next destination is your thighs where his fingers dance across your skin ever so lightly, enough for you to start to feel heat in your core. Even in the limited time that you two have down in the garage before you have to account for your whereabouts, he still wants to savour every millimetre of your body.

You can't help but smile at the sight before you. It's almost like he's obsessed with your body. His tongue slightly poking out the corner of his mouth. He's concentrating as if he's studying you so he can remember the image and feel of your body for later.

“If you’re enjoying the view so much, you can take a picture,” you tease him.

He looks up at you with surprise in his eyes but the smirk on his lips tells you his true feelings.

“Are you serious?” He asks. He feels a twitch in his pants at the idea of taking photos of you naked. Until now, he’s been using his mental images from the night and morning you’ve spent together. But to have a photo of you on his phone to keep, how could he turn that down?

“I’m serious, Charles. You can have it for when I’m not around”.

Your hands find their way to his bare shoulders before you run them down his chest, towards his torso and they stop, just resting above his belt. His eyes are fixated on you and your movements. You slowly unbuckle his belt, at an agnoising pace. You hear his breath hitch in the back of his throat as you unzip his jeans.

“The offer won’t last forever you know,” you kindly remind him and flash him a wink. The alcohol that’s still in your system giving you the confidence you need in this moment.

Wasting no more time, Charles digs his phone out of his jean pocket before slowly reclining his chair to get a better angle of you. You help him out by leaning back on your heels. As he opens the camera app, you run your hands through your hair and start to pose for him.

You can’t help notice the smirk that’s plastered across his face as he positions himself. Reminding you of some horny teenager. You thought it might have been a bit of a silly idea to have Charles take some naked photos of you but seeing how joyful he is has reassured you that these photos won’t go to waste.

“Give me a little smile, amour”.

You follow his instructions and he begins snapping away, sniggering to himself as he does so.

“Can you stop laughing at me?” You whine, tempted to grab the phone out of his hand.

“I’m not laughing, [Y/N]. I’m just thinking about how I’ll be using them tomorrow,” he retorts.

You roll your eyes slightly before posing for a few more photos. Once you’ve had enough, you grab the phone out of his hand and throw it into the drivers seat so you have his full and undivided attention again.

You take his face into your hands and lean in to leave a wet, sensual kiss on his lips. He hums slightly into your mouth as he reclines the chair further before his hands find their way back onto your body. Grabbing and pulling at any skin he can get his hands on.

You find your seat again on his lap and slowly begin to rock your hips back and forth against his clothed crotch, feeling his hardness growing beneath you. You continue to rock back and forth as his tongue slips into your mouth. Your tongues meet and move alongside each other with slow but purposeful movements.

You reach out for the top of his boxers and jeans, pulling the material down. Charles lifts up his hips so you can pull them over his bum and they soon find themselves bunched around his ankles.

You take his hard cock into your hands and stroke it a few times. He’s ready to go.

You pull back from the kiss so you can position yourself so you're hovering over the tip of his penis. Your eyes meet and you feel your breath catch in your throat. His eyes feel like they’re staring into your soul.

You feel a twitch down below and so you make sure your hole is lined up with his tip before you push yourself down. His cock begins to fill you up and you both let out a deep sigh.

You place your hands on his chest for leverage and begin to move your hips back and forth. Your pace is slow at first, getting used to the position in the passenger seat and you feel your heart beat start to speed up.

Charles’ eyes never leave yours as you gradually pick up your pace, grinding your hips against his.

“You look so good on top of me, baby,” he mutters, loving the sensation of you riding him.

You’ve now found your momentum and pick up your pace further.

“Mmm… Charles, fuck,” you groan and bit your lip at the sensation you’re feeling down below. Charles’ hands find their way to your hips so he can guide your movements.

The car begins to rock around you, the moment run carrying you and you begin to pick up your pace even further.

“Oh, fuck!”

The sensation of Charles inside of you combined with the thrill of getting caught at any moment by another resident passing through the garage has you throbbing down below. Your moans are rolling into one another.

You feel Charles’ mouth wrap around one of your nipples. His tongue swirling around the sensitive nub. He bits down a little, causing you to squeal in pleasure. One of your hands’ now finds its way into his hair, the other on the ceiling of the car to keep you steady. Your hips still being guiding by Charles.

“Fuck, baby,” you groan in pleasure.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Charles pants from beneath you. You manage to open your eyes and look down. Charles is looking up at you, his pupils dilating through all of the pleasure.

You nod, not able to string more than a few words together at this point.

Charles tightens his grip on your hips before thrusting up into you.

“Fuck!”

You practically jump at the movement. But Charles doesn’t give you time to come around as begins to thrust up into you, his movements are hard and fast. Skin slapping against yours and you find yourself bouncing on his dick. You try to grab onto anything at this point to hold yourself up. Mouth open as you continue to moan on top of him.

“Keep going,” you sigh.

Charles’ obeys your orders and thrusts into you even harder and faster than before. The car now moving erratically around you.

“Charles, baby”.

You miss the feeling of him on your lips and so you reach down to place your lips on his. The kiss is sloppy, thanks to the movements he’s making beneath you. He wraps his arms around you in a hug and thrusts up into you, he's now hitting your spot over and over.

You squeal against his lips, trying to muster a “fuck”. He slips his tongue into your mouth once more.

You reach down and begin to rub your clit with your fingers to add to the sensation that you’re feeling down below.

Charles is clearly delighted by this and continues at .

“Are you touching yourself, amour?” He whispers into your ear. A shiver runs down your spine.

“Yes”.

You can feel him smirk against your ear.

“And what do you think about when you touch yourself?”

Oh God!

“Yo-“ you can barely get your words out without moaning.

“Come on, you can say it”. He’s teasing you at this point but it’s turning you on even more when he talks to you like this. “What do you think about, amour? When you’re touching yourself”.

He’s somehow thrusting into you even faster now. His movements are getting erratic.

“Fu-, you fucking me, Ch-Charles,” you whine.

That seems to do it as Charles groans and gives everything he has to thrust into you further but he’s at his peak.

“I’m gonna cum,” he grunts into you ear and with one last deep thrust, his cum starts to spill inside of you. French profanities roll off his tongue but you’re too reaching your own peak that you can’t understand what he’s saying.

As Charles begins to come down from his climax, you place your hands onto his chest and pull yourself back up, with the little energy you having remaining, and begin moving your hips against his once more until you feel the knot tighten in your stomach.

“I’m cumming, Charles”.

You let one last moan before your eyes give way and you collapse onto Charles’ chest, his body acting as a cushion for your fall.

You lay in each others arms panting, trying to regain your breath after you both orgasmed. Your head is laying on Charles' chest, rising and falling with each other as he's breathing heavily bender h you. His skin is slightly damp from what you've just done but you don’t mind at all. You can feel his fingers tips dance along your skin as he glides them across your back, soothing you.

As you begin to regain your energy, you look up at him through your lashes and notice him staring at the roof of the car, his chest still rising and falling below. You place a soft kiss on his chest. He feels this and looks down at you with a soft but tired smile on his face.

"I don't think I could ever get tired of this," you don't realise that the words have left your mouth until you see Charles' smile widen. He leans down so he can place a kiss on your forehead.

"Me too, amour," he replies, his voice a little rasp. "I think I could just lay here with you all night".

You reach up and place your hand on his cheek, softly running your thumb over the smooth skin. He's looking at you with so much affection and you feel like you could stay in this position forever. Your body on his, legs intertwined, your heart beating so close to his. You'd almost forgotten that he was still inside you. His penis has softened at this point but it feels so comfortable to have him inside you like this.

"It's a shame that we couldn't spend more of the night together," he tells you, a slight pout on his lips.

You let out a little sigh. "I know. I'm sorry, Charles. I know things are a little complicated when it comes to my situation".

He turns his cheek so he can peck the palm of your hand that's against his face. "I knew what I was getting into with you, amour. You don't have to apologise".

You smile at him. "Are you sure it doesn't bother you?"

"I'm sure," and the tone in his voice doesn't lie. He's confident with what he's saying. "I know how I feel towards you and I can see how you feel towards me. I promise you it's okay".

You rest your head on his chest so you can hear his heart beat against you once more.

"Maybe we can do something more romantic?"

His chest vibrating as he speaks beneath you.

"Like where?"

"I don't know. As much as I've enjoyed having sex in my car, it's not exactly the comfiest place," he chuckles. "Maybe a weekend away, just the two of us."

He has you smiling once more. "I'd like that, Charles”.

A little while later, you and Charles had managed to peel yourselves off each other and decided to return the chaos upstairs before Whitney sent out a search party on your behalf.

You definitely weren’t going to look as presentable on your return as you had when you first rocked up to Charles and Joris’ apartment tonight. But by now people would most likely be heavily intoxicated or high and so your disheveled appearance would be the least of everyone’s worries.

You cherished the last private moments that you would have with Charles this evening before finding your way back into his apartment. Your fingers intertwined as you kissed each other softly in the elevator. Your bodies enjoying the last few moments of intimacy.

“I’m not sure how I’ll be able to keep my hands to myself now,” Charles mumbled against your lips.

You smiled into your kiss.

“Well, if you’re feeling a little lonely, you can always check your camera roll,” you teased.

Charles pulled your bottom lip between his teeth and bites down ever so slightly.

“Don’t tease me like that, amour,” Charles growls. “Not after what we’ve just done”.

You smirk up at him, the Dutch courage still coursing through your body. You decide to toy with him a little more, “Even when your cum is still inside me?”

“Merd-”

His whine is interrupted by the ding made by the elevator and you both find yourselves on the 8th floor, music and voice still going.

You place a final kiss on Charles lips before making your way to his apartment.

“Good night, Charles”.

Your disappearance had gone unnoticed, Whitney was too busy in the birthday boy’s bedroom. Your appearance hadn’t been judged. People were far too drunk to remember your name, never mind the fact that your make up was now half gone from your face.

You’d lightly integrated back into the party but your best friend was up to her own mischief and you were trying to keep your eyes and hands off Charles. But as the drunken partygoers slowly started to filter the way out of the apartment and the night slowly came to close, the two of you found yourselves in the kitchen alone.

You were in a similar position to the one you found yourself in the last time you were here. About a week ago now. Your hands wrapped around his neck. Your lips and tongues moving in synchronisation. Charles’ fingers had found their way inside of you once more. Your soft moans rolling onto his tongue.

The two of you are lost in the intimacy, lost in the moment and lost in each other. The fear of a random person, or even Whitney, walking into the two of you doesn’t scare you. It just feels too good for you to care about anything else.

Your lips leave his and your head falls back as a moan leaves you. Your chest slowly starting to rise and fall.

It doesn’t take much for you to come undone onto his fingers this time, it’s just so natural for you at this stage. Your energy is spent and you hold onto him, held still thrown back. Your heavy breathing is starting to slow down but your eyes are still closed from the euphoria you’re feeling. You don’t even notice his fingers slide out of you, you’re just so lost in your own world.

That is until you feel Charles place a soft kiss on your lips and his voice pulls you back to reality, “Are you okay, amour?”

You slowly peel your eyes open and smile at him. He’s looking at you - you’re not sure if it’s with affection or with concern. You’ve been absent for a little while.

“I’m good. Just enjoying this feeling,” you exhale softly.

You find the energy to pull yourself upright and place your head against Charles’ chest. Your arms wind their way around his torso and you let your body melt against him.

Charles is quite for a moment. You feel his heart beat quicken against you.

“Amour,”

His voice is so soft and gentle.

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

You look up at him and he’s looking down at you nervously. Your mouth slightly agape as you’re not sure what to say.

It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him nervous. And his lack of confidence isn’t helped by the fact that you still haven’t found your words.

You blink.

“Charles, I ca-,” you begin but he shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it”.

You let out a little sigh as you feel his touch loosen around you.

“Charles, you know I would. But Whitney is here and she doesn’t know,” you begin to explain but he stops you by placing a kiss on your lips.

“I forgot, [Y/N],” it feels weird when he doesn’t call you amour now. “She doesn’t know. It’s okay, you need to get home tonight”.

You flash him a sympathetic smile and you feel guilty for seeing the disappointment in him. He wants you to stay. And you want to stay but you can’t.

Whitney doesn’t know and if she caught you with Charles you’d have to find a million answers to a million questions you weren’t ready to answer.

After reassuring Charles that you would see him soon and one more deep, meaningful kiss, you find yourself outside making your way home and you’re now at your apartment door.

You send a couple of texts before you go inside, one to Whitney to let her know they you had gone home and you’d be getting all of the juicy details from her tomorrow. And one to Charles to let him know you were safe and that you had missed him already.

Once you finally made it inside, you noticed that the apartment is dark and quiet. The only sound you can hear is the ticking of the clock in the hallway. You shut the door quietly and make your way towards the bedroom with your heels in your hand so you don't disturb Roscoe in his sleep.

You're not sure if Lewis is home, it's not like he was keeping you up to date with his itinerary these days anyway.

As you reach your bedroom door, You slowly push it open, it's dark in here too. And you're met with the snoring of Roscoe who's asleep at the foot of the bed. But he's not the only one snoring. You look towards the top of the bed and see a figure in the dark beneath the sheets, lightly snoring away. It's Lewis and he's home, much to your surprise.

You're not sure if you're relieved or nervous about seeing him here after the night that you've just had at Joris' party with Charles. But you don't feel any guilt and you're surprised at the lack of guilt that you've felt since you've started to sleep with Charles.

Rather than wait in the open doorway any longer, you make your way to the ensuite bathroom. Deciding that a quick shower will not only make you feel better in the morning but will feel slightly more respectful when you climb back into bed with your husband. You were already on the edge with Lewis as it was without bringing the scent of another man onto your shared sheets. You were growing to dislike Lewis and his behaviour towards you but you didn't dislike him that much.

As you stand under the hot shower, glass steaming up around you, you shut your eyes and let the hot water soak into your skin. And you begin to think about the night that you've just spent with Charles. You can still feel his touch and kisses on your body. Your hand travelling down to between your thighs and you lightly touch yourself at the memory of him thrusting deep inside of you, filling you with his cum. It was the first time he had done so with you, previously he had always pulled out but last night he was so lost in the feeling of you that he seemed to forget. You didn't mind too much, if anything you felt that it brought you closer to him.

You hadn't known him too long but in the short amount of time you could feel a deep connection, one that you hadn't felt in a very long time. He noticed you and he made you feel seen. But most importantly, he made you feel important. And you only craved to feel him touch you once more.

You let out a little hum as you feel a twitch down below, you're still touching yourself as you think about Charles. You pick up your pace and press harder onto your clit, thinking about how if Charles was here right now, and oh how you wished he was. He’d be taking you from behind. His skin wet and slippy from the shower. He'd have his hand in your hair as he bent you over. You'd be gripping onto the tiles to keep you upright as he thrusted into you. His cum spilling into you once more.

"Fuck," you whine as you realise that you've brought yourself to your peak. As you slowly catch your breath, your mind drifts to Charles once more. If he was here right now, he'd kiss you, arms wrapped around you. It’s almost as if he’s in the room with you, calling you amour.

Was it a mistake not to stay him tonight?

Realising that your shower has taken much longer than planned, you quickly turn off the water and begin to dry yourself off. You take one last look in the mirror and notice the faint marks on your neck that Charles has left. Your fingers find there way to the bruised area and you can't help but smile.

You make your way back into the bedroom, slipping into an oversized tee before slowly climbing into bed. Roscoe still snoring away. As your head hits the pillow, your body finally relaxes and you let out a deep exhale.

Just as you're about to shut your eyes and drift off into sleep, some movement beside you stirs you out of your slumber. You feel Lewis roll over in the bed.

The room falls quiet once more. But not for long.

"You came home," Lewis whispers. You're not sure if it's a question or a statement but it takes you by surprise. You take a moment, deciding on what will be the best course of action to take. Do you pretend you're asleep or engage in a conversation with Lewis? But you feel like the decision is almost being made for you as you feel Lewis' eyes burning into the back of your head.

You roll over and through the darkness you seem him looking at you, his eyes wide open. You feel your stomach drop as he's looking at you and you notice his eyes glisten with some sort of hope.

Your mind lingers back to Charles and the look he gave you tonight when you told him you couldn’t stay. You’re feeling conflicted, you’d worked so long to keep your marriage to Lewis as happy and healthy as possible but these last few weeks have been the reality check that you needed. And you finally find love and passion and meaning again, but this time it wasn’t with Lewis.

But as you lay in bed, and your husband is looking at you like this, you can’t help but find yourself cave.

You know his words have a deeper meaning than what they sound like on the surface.

For so long, Lewis had pushed you to the side. You were so young when you met him and so in love that no matter what he did, you thought. that, through your own naivety he would always come back to you.

And in this moment, he has come back to you. After this past week of him ignoring your entire existence after shouting at you like he had never done before, he's suddenly seen you again. But you're not sure if it's out of love and care or because you're now a different person in your marriage, something he thought you would never be. You were starting to have a life outside of him and maybe this was his last chance to hold onto you, to fight for the version of you that would love you unconditionally.

You’re pulled back to reality when you feel Lewis reach out for you as his thumb starts to stroke your cheek. You're not sure why but you feel your eyes start to well up at the feeling of him touching you like this, looking at you like this.

“You came home,” he says once more, “for me?”

Those two words surprise you.

Your breath catches in your throat but somehow you manage to lie,

"I came home".

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 x you

[royalsweetteaa]

Timeless lovin’ - Pt. 1

Pairing: 40s/CATFA!Steve Rogers x present!reader

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

WARNING - The following story contains: explicit smut (not in this chapter), angst, fluff, developing feelings/slow burn, spoilers, alternative reality.

Pt. | 1 | 2 | 3 |

Summary: Steve left for Peggy in the past, and you were determined to travel back in time and get answers after he left your relationship of 4 years behind him just like that. You get a little ahead of yourself and travel past where your Steve left off, and you meet Steve Rogers, - the man before he hit the ice and was frozen for 70 years.

Second person POV

Steve and you met each other through S.H.I.E.L.D. You first became familiar in 2014 when you became an agent for the agency. Steve worked as a counter-terrorist operative and was frequently put up on extreme missions which required the super soldier. You were in contrast put on easier but secretive missions, those of which required gathering information from anti forces of the U.S. government.

You were both too busy to exchange conversations, but you acknowledged each other with passing greetings. You had always thought Captain America was an admirable man, and you highly respected him. He seemed to have respect for you too, but he was known for having a big heart, and you knew it was anything but exclusive.

In 2015, when Steve was sent on less missions, he engaged in full conversations with you as you also became more available. There was of course the Ultron attack, but apart from that, crimes were quiet at this time around. You were moved over to writing reports at your office of the few missions that were in action. Steve would come by to ask about your well being, and sometimes drop a coffee off at your desk, - being the considerate man he was. A noticeable sexual tension was growing between you two with the way you would talk to each other, but neither of you acted upon it as it wasn’t deemed appropriate at the time. You sometimes wish you did.

Captain America disappeared from the face of the earth one day as a conflict had erupted between him and Iron Man, - also known as the civil war. He went undercover for 2 years without a word from him. You missed him a lot in that duration of time. It took a long time to get used to not having him pop in for a visit and greet you with coffee, just the way you liked it. Everything was as if he never existed, and you eventually accepted things would be that way until he shows up again, - or never.

Then another unthinkable happened in 2018 when half of the population were erased by Thanos. You were all put in a dark place, one that sought comfort from each other. Steve reached out to you at your office after years of not seeing each other, and a need to show more than just friendly kindness became an urge.

What started with desperate kisses and touches turned into rough sex, with you bent over your own office desk with Steve’s cock being thrusted inside of your cunt from behind. He wasn’t shy at all to test the grounds of fucking you, and you couldn’t say you minded with how good it felt to finally have a euphoric release after feeling down for some time.

The next four years would be the best ones of your life despite what would otherwise be the worst ones for many others. You officially became a couple, with Steve asking you out to a first date. One date turned into many, and you soon moved in together. He proposed to you two years into your relationship, and of course you said yes.

You retired as a SHIELD agent and became an office worker instead. Steve worked at several departments to help and restore damages that had been inflicted in the city due to the snap.

Steve had lost so much, but he had told you that he was still able to move on because you were there. You had become his everything. You were a reason for him to keep going. He showed how much you meant to him through his affection and the intimate moments you had. He put so many words perfectly together and made your heart melt with every sweet thing he said to you.

“You’re my doll. I’ll never leave your side, love.”

That used to settle it in your head that you would grow old with him. That you would soon marry, have kids and live the perfect family life, something you both had expressed wanting.

Little did you know at the time that he would do the opposite of what he had promised.

“Steve, I don’t know how I feel about this mission…” you shared when Steve brought up the plan the remaining Avengers had put together of traveling back in time to restore their failure and bring back half of the population that were lost.

“Love, I know you’re scared…I’m nervous about the mission too. But we need to try. We have planned this for a very long time now and you need to trust me when I say everything will work out accordingly to our plan. It’s not going to be like how it went last time. That was our last time failing. We will make everything right.”

Steve reassured, and kissed the top of your head as he stood by the door.

“Once I’m back, we’re getting married, love.” He huskily whispered the promise, and kissed the hand where your ring rested on your finger. “I love you.”

Those three words would be the last thing you heard from him before he left to the Avenger headquarters to go through with the mission.

48 hours later, and Steve had proved you right. It became world news within seconds that the people who were lost 5 years ago were now back and that Thanos had been defeated.

You remember being absolutely thrilled. You were so proud of Steve and the Avengers for managing the impossible. You were given an update from Scott through text that Captain America was doing alright, and that he would need a few days recovery before he could return home.

No one ever informed you about Steve’s second mission of returning the infinity stones to the past.

It was too late when you a week later asked about him and learned he never returned to the present.

2 years later…..

“Okay, so here’s the thing…—“ Bruce started, “The pym particles I have are not completely legit. They are clones produced by Dr. Strange’s sorcery and my knowledge in their substance, and while they match the substances they contain, the outcome from using them might not be completely the same.” He said, and picked one up to showcase you.

You narrowed an eye as you took the one Bruce held up, studying it with interest. “Do you know what kind of different outcome it may give if I use them?”

“Nothing too crazy, just simple things like, - specification of time traveling and whereabouts. You might not get to your chosen destination or year, so you’ll have to be more considerate and prepare for the unexpected.” Bruce hypothesized.

You were positive of going through with time traveling, even with the risks of having a harder time finding Steve. While this could be counted as one of your most challenging missions, you were up to the task.

“You’re still taking a risk though. This isn’t going to be like when we time travelled to get all the time stones where we were able to to go to a specific time and day. You will be sent to an unspecified year and place to your chosen time period. Not to mention we don’t even know where our Steve time travelled and continued his life, -“

“- It doesn’t matter.” You interrupted. “We know he left off for Peggy, so it must mean he left anywhere between Second World War to the beginning of the Cold War anyway. If I have to put my bets, I’ll guess he went back to the earliest time possible to continue his past life and relationship with Peggy. It’s not a big deal if I show up years later after he arrived there as long as I get to talk to him.” You said.

“Alright. If you’re sure about this, I won’t stop you. You have an extra pym particle, so if anything goes wrong, you just need to come back.” Bruce said, more so in question as he narrowed his eye at you.

“Of course, of course.” You reassured. “I just need to do this. It’s been 2 years and nothing has changed. I haven’t come to peace with the terms and I think a good talk and a screaming session with him will give me just that. I need answers. I know it’s pathetic, but honestly can you blame me?”

“I really don’t, Y/N. It was a shocker for all of us that he left behind his life here when he had said so himself that he had come to like it. I don’t know why he came to make that choice, but regardless it wasn’t fair on you. I totally get it.” Bruce sympathized, which made you quirk a smile.

All this time you thought you were insanse for not being able to leave Steve behind. People advised you to move on, and you tried. You went on dates and met new people all the time, but no matter how much you tried to move forward, you were held back by so many questions. Questions that haunted you and made you cry yourself to sleep as you went down memory lane, trying to find a single moment that you should have picked up on to know your relationship with Steve wasn’t everlasting.

But you couldn’t find a single one.

Why? Why did he leave?

What did I do wrong?

Wasn’t I enough?

Was our love ever real?

You didn’t know anymore about the last one. You couldn’t count all the times he had told you he loved you. He reminded you each time he came back from a mission, each time you woke up in bed beside him, each time you made love.

He had you on a chokehold, and he wasn’t there to release his hands on you.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Banner rummaging through something in the storage closet.

“You can’t leave without some real useful gadgets. Here,” He put it on the table and gestured you to open up the safe.

You opened it up cautiously, only to find several cubes slotted safely in the protection cushion. Your eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

“What are these?” You asked, as you picked one up, surprised at how heavy it was.

“These are nanotechnological gadgets. They take forms as these tiny cubes until activated. The one you’re holding right there is a jet pack. Could be quite useful if you have to travel by far.” He explained. He then carefully picked up an earpiece with his hulk hands, “All you gotta do is wear this which is connected to all of them and call out after its given name, ‘Genesis’, for an activation.”

You nodded and took the earpiece into your ear. You looked into the little mirror on the table and saw that it suddenly shifted colour to match your own skin colour. You gasped, impressed by how well it blended. It was as if it wasn’t there.

Bruce laughed, “Isn’t that neat? That’s some ‘James Bond’ stuff right there. Another bonus is even if you loose them, they’ll transport themselves over to your location if you give that order. You can figure out what the rest of these are for by yourself.” He pointed at the other cubes and closed the safe. “Think it’ll be more fun for you that way.”

You chuckled, before a thought came to mind as you realized the suitcase was under the Stark industries trademark. “These were Mr. Stark’s though, weren’t they?…I couldn’t possibly take them.”

“It’s cool, I took part in creating these. I’m sure if he was still here with us right now, he’d lend one of his iron suits. Unfortunately I don’t have access to those as they are under Pepper’s name and all. I can only offer the things I have in the lab.” He said with an apologetic shrug.

Your eyes widened and you immediately shook your head, “Oh, no these will absolutely do! Thank you so much Bruce! I owe you a big one.”

He laughed. “Sure thing, kid. Now, let’s get started on this time traveling so you can kick America’s ass.”

You were up on the Time Heist machine with the safe and a backpack full of essentials, giving Bruce a final wave goodbye before you were swirled into the quantum realm for a nanosecond and into the past.

You were suddenly in an empty street corner of what you could presume was somewhere downtown New York. The town looked like it was in its fetus stage as you made your way to the Main Street, with barely any skyscrapers coming to view.

The team suit transformed and gave you conservative clothing, one that could pass as casual for women to wear during the 40s to 50s. There were young boys running around, selling the newest flyer to the curious adults, and posters promoting drafting were hung up on every light pole.

For some reason, you weren’t receiving any data of what time you had appeared in, but you could only guess it was the mid 40s based on your current surroundings.

Nervously you met the eyes of busy women and men who you passed by, not being mentally prepared for the social aspects of being in a time period of which your grandparents were probably living their early years of their youth. You were already feeling uncanny from knowing how out of place you were, but you could only remind yourself that this was just a quick visit to give Steve a piece of your mind.

“Genesis, I would like to have access of all governmental archives mentioning Steve’s proximities at this current time period.”

Genesis gave you multiple suggestions, but the primarily suspected location of Steve’s current whereabouts was a military base in Port Jervis.

2 and a half hour train ride? Not bad at all.

It sounded a lot better than using the jet pack, especially when other options were available.

You walked in a phone booth and unlocked the safe, reading through the functions to find what you were looking for.

“Genesis, I’d like to unlock the printer and print 20 US dollars and a fake ID card registered under military record, please.”

“Amy Preston from Newsburgh military base, is that right?” You nodded in response to the soldier who was checking your ID by the gate of Port Jervis military base. “What brings you here?” He asked.

“I have a couple of errands to run in connection with the mission in planning, sir.” You explained, as you straightened your military uniform and rested your elbows on the front desk. “The Howling commandos will be sent to Italy to infiltrate Hydra bases, and we may have some input of several coordinations which suggests where else they are hiding.” You reached out the documents which were actually accurate future knowledge.

You could tell the soldier was anything but focused on the papers though as he eyed your breasts through your clothes which you were firmly squeezing together to give off your sex appeal.

He cleared his throat and only took a few glances at the papers before returning them to you. “Alright ma’am, you may pass. Hope you have a pleasant stay with us while you’re here.” He said smugly, and winked at you before you carried on. You could only fake a smile until he was out of sight, your face pulling one of disgust.

The base was large, reaching as far as up to a hill. Vehicles were creating a traffic by the gate with several soldiers sitting on the open back trunks.

Some whistled at you as you walked past them, but you could care less of giving them your time of day. Your eyes scanned the area with interest for the one man you were looking for.

You walked around for a good half an hour, sneaking into tents to see if any of the men in there were Steve, but you had no such luck of spotting him. Then, as you walked though the weapon supplies area, a familiar face came to view. You saw Dum Dum Dogan talking to a fellow soldier, the man who after Steve’s presumed death would become the new leader of the Howling commandos. He was one of Steve’s close friends during the war. He had told you as such himself.

He has to be somewhere close then.

You reached the corner of a huge tent, and that was when you halted your steps. You had found him.

There he was. Carrying on with his duties as if he had never been frozen in ice for 70 years, become a beloved hero of the 21st century and captured your heart, promising a future as lovers only to break it and leave you behind.

He stood there, talking to Jim Morita, yet another one of his soldier buddies with what looked like a map as they were discussing something.

Your head boiled with fury, the sight of him alone making you want to scream your heart out.

I might just do that actually, You thought.

Fuck it.

“Steven Grant Rogers, — you piece of absolute garbage!” You called out after him, saying his name with pure venom.

Steve immediately turned to where his name had been called, completely dumbfounded as you stormed towards him, your steps firm as you kept your form tall and straight. The soldier excused himself and walked away, leaving more privacy to whatever this would be about.

“You really thought it would be this easy, didn’t you? That you could leave your girlfriend of 4 fucking years without as much as a goodbye? An explanation? An apology?” You spat at his face.

“Pardon, ma’am, I don’t think I follow -“

“Oh, shut up and cut the bullshit! You left me! Without a word! How could you?!” You shouted, your face flaring up with the pent up anger you had waited to release on him for 2 years. “You left for another woman who you hadn’t seen for decades and you thought I’d be okay with it? Because I’ll have you know I was not and am still not over what you did to me! After everything we’ve been through together, and you left it all, — like it meant nothing! Fuck You!”

Soldiers around the area were subtly following the the interaction from afar, some even snickering as the Captain was being told off by some woman who they could only assume was one of his many fangirls making a fit.

Steve looked around, embarrassed and confused as he sighed and said, “Please refrain from using that kind of language, there’s really no need to cuss at me when I don’t even know you. You must be mistaking me for someone else... ”

You saw Steve swallow, clearly getting agitated from your confrontation. You frowned at his mannerism. What was up with him?

Steve usually never showed nervousness and was good at keeping his composure.

You blinked, “What do you mean?….You really don’t know who I am?”

“No, I really don’t…no offense of course, but I’m pretty sure I would remember the face of my own girlfriend, - since that’s what you claimed to be earlier anyway…” he said with a sheepish smile.

You were frozen with disbelief.

“What month and year is it?”

“November, 1944, ma’am. Why?”

Wait…

Wait a moment…

Oh shit.

“So you don’t -…you aren’t my…”

You didn’t even want to complete that sentence as you knew there was no use. This was in fact not your Steve. You hadn’t considered how it wouldn’t be convenient for Steve to go in a time where his past self was still living.

Steve must have obviously travelled back after his past self got trapped in the Arctic. And now your last chance of having a talk with your Steve was put on a major stall because the time machine decided to be a real ass and send you the year before past Steve goes missing in the Arctic.

Actually it wasn’t technically in a year’s time, but 4 months since Steve would go on that mission and land the Hydra ship in February of 1945, 7 months before the war ends, - but still.

You had no idea at how long of a time you would have to wait for him regardless. You were internally having a meltdown, all the while Steve was standing there, not sure of what to make out of the whole interaction.

“Ma’am?…Are you feeling okay?” Steve asked with worry, his face tilted as he studied your empty expression.

You gulped and slowly nodded your head. “Erm…yeah, I’m fine…I just…” you shook your head dismissively as you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Actually, no. I’m not fine. At all. This is so bad. Worst part is I can’t even talk to you about it because you, - you don’t even know me yet. You don’t, - shit.” You cursed as tears were building up in your eyes.

You looked away as you began taking a few steps back, not wanting to showcase the misery you have kept in for so long and weren’t able to release because the right man wasn’t in front of you.

“Hey, don’t cry…I’m sure whatever you’re going through, you’ll find a way to solve it…” Steve tried to console as best as he could. He had frowned at the part where you had mentioned you couldn’t tell him because he didn’t know you ‘yet’, which left him to assume you were having a mental breakdown, or was simply confused.

Meanwhile in your mind, you were thinking of what you should do. You were figuring out how you were going to make this whole mission worthwhile, - if maybe you should tell him everything so you could get answers from him. After all, you were talking to the Steve who had fresh memories of the woman who he apparently loved more than you.

He was still Steve, but yet it didn’t feel right to put the heat on him as he had none of the experiences your Steve had. You felt stuck.

40s Steve POV

The woman’s lack of response in contrast to when she first came up to me left me concerned. My first assumption was she had some kind of mental illness. I couldn’t make any sense of what she had said to me, apart from knowing my full name.

“Ma’am, if you’d let me, I’ll take you to get help from the medical committee. It’s at the center of this base, -“

“I’m not sick, Steve!” She interrupted with frustration.

I flinched, not expecting for her to go full volume with her voice again.

“I-I apologize, I didn’t mean to insinuate you were…” I stuttered, and looked around again to see eyes were still on us from a distance. “Look, if you’d like to talk, we should maybe move somewhere else more…private. I would appreciate not attracting a crowd…”

She sighed and closed her eyes for a brief moment before she nodded in agreement. “Let’s.”

I took her with me to an unoccupied office where we could have a private talk about whatever she wanted to tell me. Her face maintained a pondering look, as if she was thinking about how to put words into sentences.

I could already tell I was in for more confusion.

“I came here to talk to you, but not you. I don’t, - I’m not sure how and if I should explain it…you’re not my Steve Rogers.” She said the last part in a whisper, but I heard it very clearly due to my enhanced hearing.

This dame is absolutely out of her mind, I thought.

“Then let’s begin with me pointing something out. You’re dressed in uniform, but you’re clearly not from our base. You’re missing a Howling commando pin on both sides of your suit. In fact, I don’t think you work for the military at all considering you’re missing a US star patch on your right arm.”

I didn’t miss the way she cursed under her breath as she looked up again to respond. “I had it on when I dressed up,…guess it was by pure luck I got in. I’m not surprised though. That soldier by the gate was practically checking me out.”

I didn’t expect her to be humorous, and she earned a chuckle from me as I wasn’t too surprised to hear that. Many soldiers were unfortunately too distracted in their male gaze.

“Of course. So, where are you from then? Did someone send you? Are you a spy?” I asked, and narrowed an eye with suspicion.

“No. — I mean, I guess I could say I sent myself if that counts.” She answered with a shrug.

I shook my head, unamused by this woman’s game. “If you’re not going to be serious about this, I’ll have to send you in for temporary arrest and have you interrogated by a professional. It’s illegal for you to be here, you know.” I held her arm, to which she immediately protested by shaking her arm off.

“No need to have me on your grip. It’s not like I can outrun you anyway. You can run a mile in a minute.”

I crossed my arms, caught off guard that she was being factual about my physique, though no information of it had been released to the public from my knowledge. “How did you know that?”

“I know a lot of things about you, - because I was your fiancé.“ she said, as if it was the obvious.

“Okay,” I sighed and decided to play along for a little bit more. “If we are that close, tell me something no one else knows about me.”

She bit the inside of her cheek as she took a minute to think. For a moment I thought she didn’t have anything more to say. I turned around and wiped my eyes from drowsiness, until she opened her mouth again and said something that would completely shift the atmosphere;

“A strong heart will take you further than any physical strength. A strong heart means you'll never quit. —”

I stiffened, my face immediately turning to look at her, my focus not shifted on anything else anymore.

“— Sarah. Your mother said that to you before she died of tuberculosis in 1936.”

My stomach dropped when her eyes met mine again. I took steps forward, my face only inches away as my glare drilled into hers.

My jaw ticked as my eyebrows narrowed, my hands landing on her shoulder to not have her move away.

“How do you know that? Who are you?”

Her lips quirked a smile as she leaned in and said, “I’ve already told you. I was your fiancé, -

From the future anyway.”

N/A: First part of a 4-5 part series! Already working on part 2 & 3, so this should go somewhat smoothly. >:)

Also fuck Endgame!Steve, am I right?

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <;3

#steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers #cevans characters #chris evans #chris evans character fanfiction #chris evans x reader #captain america x y/n #captain america x reader #captain america x you

[i-yap]

Richard John Grayson. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now is the song you sing at Karaoke in the living room. that and other songs. . By the way, you send the clothes to the dry cleaners and a cleaning service comes to clean the place about 3 times a week, with the exception of a forbidden room [it's where he keeps his Justice things] he also asks you for help in certain cases to have the point of view of his intelligent girlfriend (not only are we pretty, we are also intelligent) but he doesn't really involve you that much, you go to the batcave but you don't go beyond there, you don't go where the danger is, it would kill him to lose you even more knowing that it was his fault for putting you in trouble. risk. They both like to cook Sometimes but they almost always ask for prepared food [they are tired or they are being lazy]. I think that life with Dick Grayson when you are the one is Sweet and happy, [when you are not worried about his life or they do not have the typical slight fights] but in general it is the closest to Perfect.

Thank you very much for writing to the Batfamily. I love you .

Those headcanons are so true tbh-

Domestic Dick Grayson x reader

Honestly I kind of love the simplicity of chores.

But grayson grew up spoilt( sorry not sorry). So he just pays big bucks for simple chores and so rather than hiring from those big cleaning businesses you just hire small workers and tip them shit lot.

Also he is the perfect partner to just dance in the living room with, Sit on the kitchen counter and eat tubs of ice cream while laughing about something stupid .

Washing his hair after patrol. Him detangling yours.

He is up and good with a lot of things- Need someone to paint your nails, do face masks or give you a foot rub while you shit talk your boss...he's your man. He is the most ( and sorry only) guy out of the batboys + bruce that actually enjoys and is confident enough in his masculitnity to do all this . Others will do because they love / cant say no to their s/o but even as that is relevant to grayson, He genuinely enjoys it.

the really intimate chores he still kind of wants to do with you- like cooking . folding blankets or picking groceries. Stuff he can do with you- make an activity. It gives him a little of that domestic life he always wanted. He just goes really soft and warm and fuzzy when he gets to do it with you. If you ask him why he looks lost in thought he tells you he's gonna marry you or that you're his forever. Also he sighs, pulls you into his arms , says the line and then leans to kiss your forehead.

He starts to love the smiths(or a smililar band) after meeting you. Like once , early in your relationship or maybe the "talking, flirting" stage of itm you guys got into and elevator and the popular "if a double decker busss" started to play and you commented how it feels like you're in a movie. (bonus points if you hum it) and man just spins you into his arms, dips you and kisses you so hard that even 20 mins after leaving the elevator you were-woozy. Now everytime that song comes up he stops the car/ or in the middle of a store or even in your kitchen, he just dips and kisses you. Cuz the only way this man is dying is dying by your side.

#• #Dick Grayson x Reader #Dick Grayson x You #Dick Grayson x Y/N #Dick Grayson Fluff #Dick Grayson Angst #Dick Grayson Comfort #Dick Grayson Headcanons #Dick Grayson Imagines #Nightwing x Reader #Nightwing x You #Nightwing x Y/N #Nightwing Fluff #Nightwing Comfort #Batfamily #Batfamily x Reader #Batfamily Fluff #Batfamily x You #Batfamily x Y/N #Batfamily Headcanons #Batfamily Imagines #Batboys #Batboys x Reader #Batboys Fluff #Batboys Headcanons

[kaisa-ryo]

Nanami Kento NSFW Alphabet

Warning: English isn't my native language!

♡♡♡

A = Aftercare.

Doing things together. Taking a shower, having a whiskey while sitting on the balcony, discussing the news, whatever. The important thing is that you are there for him the whole time.

B = Body part.

The hands. A man doesn't show it, but he's fascinated to the point of butterflies in his stomach by the miniaturization of this body part, especially the big difference with his hand. Everyone you know has noticed how he sometimes stares at your hands while you're writing, sipping from a cup, or quietly tapping your fingernails on the table. But none of these things can enthrall him as much as the mere presence of a wedding ring on your ring finger that he'll put on you one day.

C = Cum.

Exclusively into a condom. First: prevention of unpleasant consequences is always his first priority. Secondly: he doesn't like to get it all over you because he knows how hard it can be to clean it up.

D = Dirty secret.

Definitely sex on his desk when there wouldn't be a soul in the entire office. He'd lean his head back in his chair and visualize in detail how he'd sweep the sheets of paper and all the fucking paperwork off the floor to sit you on the edge of the desk, spreading your legs wide and driving your fragile body into the desk.

E = Experience.

As Kento himself stated, for most of his life he believed that money was the most important thing. That's why he almost always exhausted himself working long hours at the office. From this, it's not hard to guess that he didn't have enough time for relationships. So, from time to time, you yourself had to teach him what you know. You once even booked a session with a sexologist who helped you a lot. It may be hard to call him a professional, but he is now quite good at it and plans to take it even further in the future.

F = Favorite position.

There is no body position that is less or more arousing. Simply put, everything feels the same. However, there is a plus side to this - you don't have to think about what position to get into next. As experience shows, this is one of the most pleasant aspects of intimate life. Besides, the absence of clear preferences means complete freedom, doesn't it?

G = Goofy (Is he serious at this point?)

He cares about you more than anything else in the world, accordingly, your needs aren't nothing to him either. He is so sweet when he tries to make you feel good over and over again. Sometimes he is not so empathetic, then you usually observe him depressed and immediately realize that something is wrong (more often than not, he is just very tired after work). This is the main reason why you never pressure him with your availability. He tells you a thousand "sorrys" but you know it's not his fault. Back to our rams, Nanami is definitely someone who is serious about all things, including sex. As stated earlier, he's only started to gain experience with you, but even simple techniques sometimes make you marvel and feel euphoric. It's a sin not to call him "daddy", if you know what I mean.

H = Hair.

Evaluating his appearance, which includes styled hair, perfectly clean and ironed business suits and just a nice perfume scent, you can say that everything is perfect underneath too. And indeed, it was. Even though he didn't have an active sex life before you, Nanami believed that if it was neat, it was everywhere. There was a time when you complimented him on it, but he didn't pay much attention to the compliment. I guess someone's doomed to be forever pathos and nerdy about aesthetics.

I = Intimacy.

Speaking of romance, his love language is care in all its forms. Burned by touching a recently boiled kettle? He'll immediately bring your hand to the cold water, and then, in an almost commanding tone, ask you to sit with ice in your hand until each cube melts completely. Did your selfish boss at work make you work overtime? After your five minute tantrum, Kento will cuddle up to you, stroking your head and kissing the top of your head, telling you that everything will be okay and that you'll get over everything. Did the cycle start the moment you ran out of pads and tampons at home? For him, it will not be a problem to purchase an extra time with all the necessary hygiene products, in which he has recently begun to understand. It is impossible to put into words what he does for you with immense love. When he says "you're the best thing that ever happened to me", he really feels it. Always, despite how he looks right now - drunk, perpetually exhausted, serious and frowning - he realizes how sweet and desirable he is to you. And you can't freaking dislike that.

J = Jack off.

Do you really think he needs this?

K = Kink.

Total Control. As scary as it sounds, knowing how wonderful Nanami is, both in work and in bed he needs control. At least partial control. Of course, it's unlikely he'll ever get to the point of shibari or blindfolds, but who knows... You can do a lot of things if you want to, especially if you're unpredictable. And Nanami is no exception.

L = Location.

He's more of a homebody.

- Who invented sex in public places? Exhibitionist lust, that's all.

But at home, the variety is off the charts: bed, couch, kitchen table, bathtub. You'll find comfort everywhere. And the pleasure doesn't fade. It's beautiful! What is even better - no unnecessary fiddling: where and when is better, so that no one will notice you. Convenient and practical. But if suddenly in front of him in public do something obscene, wait until he comes up to you to lean into your ear and whisper "at home for this you will repay with your body, understand me correctly". Then you will have to tense up at his words and try to behave normally for the rest of the day, while inside you are curdling up either from tension or from impatience of how he will punish you for your slutty behavior....

M = Motivation.

He gets turned on by the way you give blowjobs. Especially when you give it completely spontaneously. It drives him crazy. And then there's that irresistible smile you have afterwards. He wants to feel it again and again. And you like to enjoy it with him. He likes that side of you. He likes to feel in charge of the couple. You kind of listen to him because you're smart and know very well what he wants. For example, you notice nuances that he doesn't pay attention to: when he comes, his jaw drops, he leans back and falls silent. The key is not to overdo it; you don't want these moments of pleasure to become predictable, do you?

N = No.

Any harm. It doesn't matter what kind, physical, moral... nothing is worth the health of both of you. You won't even hear the word "slut" in his vocabulary because it won't even occur to him to say it about you. Ever. He will always call you sweet, beautiful and unique, even if it doesn't excite you at all. But to defile you with a word that sounds like a stigma these days... or to just keep going when you ask him to stop is something he'll never resort to.

O = Oral.

A little bit of everything. When it comes to sincerity, a man will of course say "receiving". One reason is that there's no need to gain experience, you just sit back and get high while the girl literally pulls all the seed out of you, which becomes a reward at the end for the lovely passerby. And what an angle! Oh... how marvelous you are sitting on your lap as you slowly capture the entire length, shivering with pleasure. And he just sighs languidly, head cocked back... your fingers freeze a few centimeters from the most sensitive spot, and it's as if he's afraid to move, to create an unnecessary vibration that will interrupt such a delightful process. You're so eager to inhale through open lips that you don't even notice his smirk when he loosens his grip on your hair, giving you a breath of air.

As for cunnilingus, this kind of erotic stimulation is quite special and the most sophisticated thing a man can offer. At least, that's what Kento thinks. Moving your hips back and forth while the cock is inside the girl can be done by absolutely anyone, but to pull off unthinkable tricks with the pussy: masterful use of the tongue, stimulation with fingers, the ability to stretch the orgasm... for such things you need experience, and that's why a young man will always ask at the right moment everything you would like Kento to do.

P = Pace.

If you've ever watched porn, you'll immediately realize that he moves just like he does in those very videos. The only thing you'll want to consider is his sudden pauses. They make the scene even more intense, especially moments before orgasm. But what they mean you can only guess, because you don't have the courage to ask him about it. Suddenly you will inadvertently touch on a painful topic for him. This kind of curiosity is better to keep to yourself. Although it would be funny if the real reason for all this is just to tease you.

Q = Quickie.

Oh, although he can't be called "youngster" for a long time now, they didn't make him any slower in the crucial moments of the year. How many times did you cum early just because he suddenly started speeding up, and you didn't even have time to get used to the pace he was picking up. It seemed like every thrust he gave you was as sobering as a slap. He got stronger and stronger from second to second-as if he wasn't so much giving himself away as holding you by the hair and thrusting his hips harder and harder. Once in a while, he remembered to mutter something to himself, but you couldn't hear him over your own heavy breathing and the shaking of your bodies. But the tenser you got, the louder his voice got.

R = Risk.

Strongly against it. Not because it's not his type, but because it will end badly for both of you, especially you.

S = Stamina.

Baby, if you'd seen him fighting curses, you'd have no doubt about his incredibly high stamina. However, that doesn't mean you fuck for 5-10 rounds, because one of you will get bored on the third round. And no stimulation will not help, because in this case you just gallop like a colt. And he's bored to death by these fucks. So he tries to avoid it.

- I see you're getting tired of it - the man remarks, sluggishly thrusting into your thighs. The slow pace has been going on for a few minutes now, and each of you has been thinking about something different, not wanting to follow through.

- What, oh yes... ah! Cumming!

- Y/n, don't overdo it, go take a shower.

T = Toys.

Doesn't mind them if you suddenly suggest them, but still doesn't understand why so pervert the process of essentially ordinary child conception. In general, a supporter of all things traditional.

- What's the point of these weird devices? They're just plain rip-offs, if you ask me.

- Nanami! Learn to enjoy life already!

U = Unfair (likes to tease).

He tried it once. To be honest, he didn't know what to do for a long time. You begged him to come back inside you because your orgasm was so close. How could he say no to someone like you? He began to move into you as slowly as if he were wading through a thicket of nettles. You felt so good, you were arching and arching, breathing so hard. And he kept delaying, as if he were stalling for something important to him (we both know what it was, don't we?), and suddenly he came at the last, decisive point, not very hard, but just completely. And right at that moment, when your back tensed, clenching painfully, and a wave went through your legs... You even shrieked in surprise, and immediately collapsed. For Nanami, this was... unusual and mesmerizing. Don't worry, baby, he'll do it again.

V = Volume.

The first time you were discouraged by how loud and bassy he can growl and moan... especially at climactic moments.

W = Wild card.

Another day where you complained about how hard it was to take care of your long hair. Your entire speech was filled with outrages about how unpleasant it is to go to bed with a wet head, and how expensive popular hair care products are.

- Just cut it off.

I suppose you could start exclaiming about how long you had to grow it out after the bob and how beautiful it was and so on, but damn you for being flirty this time.

- Just like that? What are you going to put on your fist?

Such a spontaneous phrase made him freeze and get stuck in his own thoughts, and later not only finding hair sexy, but being able to actually wind it around his fist more often, sneaking up behind you and flexing your body across the kitchen table, fucking so well, squeezing his fist harder with each thrust.

Y = Yearning.

You don't want to hit on him at the end of a hard day's work. Chances are, he'll probably refuse your request to even give you a blow job. Other than that, he will never take his anger out on sex with you or force it. 4/10

Z = Zzz (How fast he falls asleep).

In the first minute. It's important that you stay in bed all night, it makes him wake up quickly.

♡♡♡

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk imagines #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #nanami x reader #nanami kento #jjk nanami

[lullabyes22-blog]

(Assuming FnF setting) Does Sevika ever administer Silco's eye medication for him? If not, how does she feel about him trusting Jinx with the matter, but not her?

In FnF, Sevika is rock solid in a crisis, has a stomach of steel and a mind as cool as a ice.

But she cannot - CANNOT - swallow her gorge where family is concerned. We'll see this in FnF, with Nandi, and the way her death (and the manner of it) leaves Sevika absolutely wrecked. Then again, with her father, and how he turns her irrational and wounded on a dime.

Ditto for Silco.

She has a distinct revulsion for his eye - moreso because she remembers his face before the accident, and the difference is jarring. Like watching someone you've known since childhood literally decay before your eyes.

Silco mocks her about being afraid of rot. But he also deliberately doesn't kiss her for this same reason. She's drawn a boundary re: what triggers her, and he tries not to cross that line (one of the few boundaries he doesn't cross, given how insidious he is in every other respect.)

So: no.

She doesn't administer his eye meds, and has no tolerance for the delicate process. Silco, on his part, wouldn't allow it, either. He trusts Sevika with day-to-day minutiae re: his empire. But he draws the line at more intimate stuff. This is, after all, the same woman who punked him by pretending to side with Finn, to send the message that she was upset with his performance as a kingpin.

In a rl context, if they were married, and he got sick, she'd be the spouse who takes responsibility for their shared business, and hires a nurse/attendant to look after him, because she lacks both the time and the emotional capacity to be in a nurturing role.

(Caretaking is a tough job, and requires a certain resilience that not everybody possesses, even if they're hypercompetent in other spheres.)

Contrast with Jinx, who Silco literally views as an extension of himself - and trusts in all intimate contexts, from unloading his boyhood baggage to his Zaun troubles to showing her the place he'd once drowned. Her tantrums, in his mind, are no different from his own mood-swings, and never without cause (never once does he admonish her when she stabs his face in the series, and instead chooses to address the reason she's upset with him).

With that in mind, trusting Jinx to give him life-saving meds is no different from trusting himself. (Also, a Jinx-centric chapter in Act V will make clear that Silco's eye dosage is far from the only thing he trusts Jinx with: she also knows exactly how he takes his tea, fixes him weird little soups when he's sick, invents gadgets to help with his migraines, and not only knows every drug in his medicine cabinet, but which ones to give to knock him out cold if he's restless.)

Sevika sees it as part and parcel of his and Jinx's weird codependent relationship. There might even be a bit of envy - both because Jinx, whatever else, has a talent for extremely delicate tasks, and also because they demonstrate a closeness she never had with her old man.

.-.b

#asks #arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #silco #arcane sevika #sevika #arcane jinx #jinx #forward (never forget)/xoxo #forward but never forget/xoxo

[okiesoapie]

permafrost

kaeya alberich x reader

inspired by @hiraya-rawr’s post here

notes: established relationship, heavy angst, slight gore(?),

tw: major character death

Despite his seemingly friendly exterior, Kaeya Alberich was a cold man. His touch could give frostbite, and his words could leave one frozen. Life had him build walls of ice around his heart. A fortress impenetrable to all except you.

You, with your sunny disposition and comforting warmth. You, a traveling merchant who settled in Mondstat. As long as Kaeya had you by his side it felt like sunlight was warming him from head to toe, soothing the chill in his heart. You were like a fireplace on a freezing night, one that Kaeya couldn’t help but huddle closer to. The pain of his past was all worth it if it meant he could have you.

Kaeya didn’t realize the true meaning of “the light of my life” until he married his.

A newlywed man shouldn’t be working the day away, he muses to himself while eyeing paperwork. Kaeya had stayed in bed with you that morning for as long as he could, peppering kisses against your bare skin. Maybe even lingering by the doorstep to give you “one last kiss” goodbye.

Fidgeting with his wedding band (part of a matching set, with a sapphire in it’s center), he truly couldn’t wait to go home. It was funny how things he used to think of as mundane were much more pleasant when with you. All he could think about was having dinner together then relaxing with you in his embrace until he fell asleep.

Another busy day for the ever inefficient Favonius Knights. Kaeya found himself at Windrise with his order. It turned out that caravan carrying imported goods from Liyue had collapsed during a raid. 3 dead, 4 wounded. Kaeya planned to finish this efficiently yet as quickly as possible, so he could once again resume newly-wedded bliss.

Then, at a glance, he saw it. The faint glimmer of blue that he saw every morning in your shared bed. On the hands that passed him a cup of coffee before work. On the fingers that caressed his face, around his blind spot, during intimate moments. A glittering blue stone embedded in a silver band. A symbol of his love and hopes for the future.

Kaeya walked hesitantly to the the wrecked carriage paying little mind to the frost that followed him in his wake. His boots thumped heavily against the soil. Tendrils of ice scattered over pebbles and grass. You had told him that morning, over your morning coffee, that you were going to oversee a shipment of goods from Liyue. You had told him, when he kissed you goodbye, that you would see him at home.

Kaeya believed in your words like a devout worshipper, like a faithful man before the Divine. You were the only truth in a sea of a hundred lies. If you said you would be home, you would be. You had never lied to him. Not once.

Until today.

The hand found under the rubble, wearing a sapphire wedding ring, was devoid of life. Kaeya bent down and gave it a squeeze. You didn’t respond. He gripped you again, a little harder this time, and yet you remained limp in his hand. The metal band felt bitterly cold against Kaeya’s palm. A mockery to his belief that his happiness could last forever.

It felt like an eternity and a minute before they could get your body from under the wreckage. Kaeya scooped you into his arms and held you against his chest. He rocked you back and forth while burying his face into your hair. Kaeya felt his own chest rise and fall against your unmoving body. Whatever semblance of warmth you had left, he would take it. Kaeya would soak you into his skin until he was swallowed whole.

“Please,” he whispered, “it can be anyone. Anyone but you.”

You didn’t respond. You did nothing except lie still in his arms. Kaeya laced your hands together, so that both rings were touching. He wanted to scream. Cry until his voice was shattered. Yell so loud that it was certain you would hear him from the other side. Instead Kaeya pressed his lips to your face, staining your cheeks with his tears.

“It’s so, so cold.”

Windrise, with all its greenery, felt like an icy tundra, and he was a straggler caught in its snowstorm. The world had suddenly dropped a hundred degrees, and you had taken all of it’s warmth with you.

————

a/n: hello everyone! probably will rewrite this in the future because this is my first angst fic, but I hope you liked it :))

#kaeya x gender neutral reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya angst #gi kaeya #kaeya headcanons #kaeya imagines #genshin kaeya #genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #tw death

[sibbun]

!! BETTER READING EXPERIENCE ON AO3!!

Unprofessional Affairs

Chapters: 1/?

Wordcount: 2,114

Rating: Explicit

Categories: F/M

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Relationships: Toji Fushiguro/Reader

Nanami Kento/Reader

Summary: Your father, Yaga, has been a doctor with his own practice for years now. You studied to become a surgical nurse and recently graduated. You all grew out of the scope the practice was able to handle so you're expanding to a bigger hospital where you will work under Toji Fushiguro, a surgeon. However, in a moment of drunkness you confess you used to have a massive crush on Toji, your father's best friend. You end up having some fun together and have to cope with the reality of fucking your boss and the complexities of those types of relationships. It gets even more complicated when you meet Kento Nanami, the psychologist who has a fondness for you.

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Power Imbalance, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Kissing, Daddy Issues, Mommy Issues, NSFW, Everyone Is An Adult, Possessive Fushiguro Toji, reader has a life and personality, Love Triangles, non canon character dynamics, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Chapter 1

“It has been an absolute honor to have been by Doctor Yaga Masamishi’s side for the nearly 20 years he has been at the head of this ship now, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to announce that Yaga and I have decided that we will be moving to a bigger hospital after New Years!” The crowd cheers. Toji raises his glass of iced tea with a smile as he looks at Yaga.

Yaga gets the clue to add onto the speech and raises his glass of champagne as he continues. “Thank you so much Toji! I want to dedicate my toast to my daughter who keeps me sane and who I am oh so proud of for graduating and being a fully fledged surgical nurse now!”

You smile warmly at your father. You raise your glass and turn around to face the crowd after mouthing a ‘thank you’ to your father. “Thank you all so much for your patience with me throughout the years! I am so excited that we have grown so much together and that we can continue to flourish in the big city!”

Yaga laughs heartily. “Well said, my dear! Cheers everyone!” And with that, everyone celebrates the massive win

After the speech people dissipated and conversations turned more intimate. Toji walks up to you and your father, patting him on his back as he has the biggest smile on his face. “It has been great working together for so long, and I’m kind of sad to see this place go, but I’m so delighted that we are expanding.”

Your father laughs and pulls Toji into a hug. “To think we went from cramming our exams together to where we are now!” He looks at Toji as he pulls out of the hug “It is honestly a miracle.”

Toji looks back at his friend and laughs “We truly were terrible! It was already a miracle that we passed our exams back in the day.”

You smile. It’s truly adorable to see these two childhood best friends be unashamedly close. “Hah! Don’t be ridiculous! Dad told me you two graduated top of your class.”

Your dad grins as he looks at Toji. “Oh, but we got into some real trouble together, didn’t we, my partner in crime?”

“But you!” Toji says as he turns to you in an attempt to change the subject from them to you, unwilling to talk about what they got up to when they were your age, “I heard you graduated with high grades as well. I cannot wait to have you work by my side.” He smiles and rubs your back between your shoulder blades kindly. You look up to him and smile “Neither can I!”

In the meantime Yaga had already been whisked away to engage in other conversations, and shortly thereafter Toji as well. Your father was a busy man, always had been. You decided to engage in small talk while having a few drinks. The party was going splendidly and you were having plenty of fun, but after a while you were quite tired and honestly, a little too tipsy to keep proper professional composure in front of everyone, so you decided to get away from the crowd and retreated into one of the many rooms.

You rested your cup on the windowsill before opening the window. You stuck your head out. The moon shone on your face and the breeze kissed your flushed cheeks. The music could not be shut out entirely by the door, but it was enough to make you feel at peace. The alcohol in your system made every sensation more intense. You closed your eyes and soaked the night into your skin. You smiled. You really had come far, and a beautiful night like this was the best present you could have gotten.

Suddenly, a hand touches the small of your back and you get violently shook out of your bliss. In your jerked movement your cup spills out of the window.

A familiar voice speaks up. “Ah, that’s all alcohol is good for anyways.”

You turn around and are faced with Toji, kind smile on his face. You smile as you ease up again. “You scared me, Toji.”

He chuckles, crows feet wrinkling at the side of his eyes. “I’m sorry about that. I came to check up on you.”

You smile and sit down on the counter. “I’m alright, just a little warm. I wanted to get away for a little.” You reach for your bag and take out a cigarette and light it. you lean your head back and take a drag as you close your eyes. You exhale the smoke slowly.

Toji leans against the counter, standing quite near to you. He takes the cigarette out of your hand and takes a drag. “I didn’t know you smoked. You really did grow into a full adult right before my eyes.”

You look at the gruff man as he takes another drag, this time longer. His dark green eyes look at you through half lidded eyelids. You can’t help but appreciate the way his lips rest on the cigarette. The scar on his lips a beautiful imperfection to break his handsome physique ever so slightly. “I didn’t know you smoked.” you say.

“I used to.” He says before giving you your now half smoked cigarette back. “But that was long ago.”

“Why did you quit?”

He chuckles and sits up on the counter next to you, his right leg touching yours. “After your mom passed away Yaga was a mess.” He pauses, thinking about how much he was willing to share. “I guess I mellowed out a little after that.”

Your mother’s passing was a taboo that no one liked talking about, so you decided to not press further. You knew you should probably quit smoking soon. It’s unprofessional for someone in your field, but alcohol and a cigarette truly hits different, so you cut yourself some slack this time. You take another drag before passing it to Toji who finishes it. He puts it out on the outside sill and flicks it outside. “I do miss it though, the smoking.” He says before leaning into your neck and taking a small whiff. “The combination of smoke trying to hide behind perfume is such a delightful smell.” You could feel his breath on your neck, making you shudder with a surprising delight. You hoped he didn’t notice that, but before you realized, you had already said it out loud.

“I used to have a massive crush on you, you know. It would have been easier if you had dated someone when I was younger so I could have moved on.” You chuckle to hide your nervousness. You fidget with your hands, avoiding Toji’s gaze you could feel on yourself. The silence was deafening, your cheeks growing more red with each millisecond that passed.

Toji was stunned. He would be remiss to not have noticed how you had grown into such a capable woman over the years- and a beautiful one at that. You looked a lot like your mother, after all. Toji did have relationships throughout the years, they just weren’t very serious. He’d often go from woman to woman, but he was never able to work anything out long term, so he kept all of that to himself.

You could feel tears well up in your eyes. The stress of his silence too much to take. You build up the courage and look at him and stand up to walk away. “I’m sorry I said that. Forget it, it’s fine. I’m going to get a new drink.”

Before you can take more than two paces away, Toji stands up and grabs your wrist and pulls you towards himself. “Don’t go.” he says softly. There was undeniable vulnerability in his voice. You look up at him. You just know you look a little pathetic.

Toji turns the two of you around and lifts you on top of the counter again. He wipes away your welled up tears with his thumb as his other hand rests on your thigh. As much as either of you want to speak up, neither of you really know what to say. You lean your cheek into his hand. It was big and warm and familiar, but it felt different. Your eyes flickered between one another. You could feel his eyes drag over your lips before shooting back up to your eyes as thoughts flooded his mind. Before he could act on any of them, you leaned in, and he met you halfway.

His lips were soft. It started as an unfamiliar peck, unsure of the sensation and the baggage that came with the two of you sharing a kiss. When you looked in his eyes you saw a shift. As if a fire had started ignited slowly. Unspoken, the both of you leaned in again, this time more sure. You put your hands on his cheeks, and his went from a faint touch of your thigh, up to your hips as he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter.

Quick pecs became heavier as the distance between the two of you closed. Before you knew it you were completely at his mercy. Something had switched in you as well. Hungry, touch starved kisses lead to your tiny moans in between kisses blessing Toji’s ears. You could feel him press against you, and you grind against him.

“Toji please- I need you..” you say, coming completely undone under his touch. You had been dreaming about this for years at night by yourself, and to have it become a reality was a dream come true. Your body was reacting way too well to Toji’s touch.

Toji’s hungry eyes met yours, his breath heavy. You did not need to repeat yourself. His fingers dug into your hips as he grinds himself against you, earning a soft humm from you. His lips trail from your mouth to your cheek to your jaw, placing slow small kisses at each spot. You wrap your arms around his neck as he wraps one arm around your waist, the other grabbing the back of your neck. His lips trail further, now buried deep into your neck. He gives you a small bite. “You feel so good, darling..” he coos. “You’re driving me crazy.”

You stroke his hair back, strands falling onto his forehead from between your fingers. His eyes locked with yours. You always liked them older. “Please..” You begged, unsure of what you were begging for exactly. You rested your hands on each side of his jaw and pulled him in for another kiss, tongues intertwining.

You were rudely interrupted by your phone’s ringtone. You groaned in the kiss, ignoring it. Toji felt around for your phone and checked who was calling, not breaking the kiss until he saw who it was. “You should pick this one up.”

You sighed and looked at the screen reading ‘Dad’. Guilt filled you, but you shook it off, still too worked up to care, but Toji gave you a stern look. You picked up the phone.

“Hi dad! What’s up?” You asked.

“Are you alright? People are asking about you!”

“I’ll come back in a bit!” you reply before hanging up.

You sigh and look at Toji. He chuckles. He’s able to compose fairly well. He holds out his hand for you to get off the counter and closes the window for you.

You adjust your dress and he fixes your hair. “I’ll make sure the room is clean before I leave.” He says. “Now go off, princess.” He instructs. You smile shyly at him. He musters up the self restraint to let you leave after a single last peck. You smile at him and start leaving the room.

You look back at him before closing the door as he leans against the counter and readjusts himself in his pants. You feel your face heat up as you get a peek through the fabric at how big it is. He notices you look and grins. “Next time we continue this, I promise you’ll get to feel every inch of it.”

The door closes with a soft ‘clunk’ and you have to take a bit to find your composure again before starting your walk back to the party, music volume increasing with each step. You’re awfully aware of how wet he got you without even touching you. Images of his hungry face fly through your mind, and the faint ghostly feeling of how his lips felt on your neck send butterflies straight to your core.

Your eagerness to have professional boundaries in your starting career gets buried by your excitement for continuing this unprofessional affair.

#toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji smut #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fushiguro #jjk fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 writer #archive of our own

[rlyehtaxidermist]

tired of people treating “he hasn’t seen goncharov” like it’s just making fun of people for not watching the film.

For context, throughout the film, Andrey is cast as an outsider, oblivious to the unwritten rules of the Naples underground. His behavior is often seen as transgressive by the local gangsters, but they excuse it by saying “he hasn’t seen Goncharov” - he’s new, he hasn’t met with the boss and been told about all the rules. Given the scene where Andrey meets Valery in the church’s belfry, this is a very deliberate parallel to the phrase “seen God” in the sense of dramatic religious revelation - some also extend this to the reference to Goncharov in Ice Pick Joe’s last letter.

Of course, thematically, Andrey hasn’t seen Goncharov - he knows him as his old friend and rival, not the man that he has become since leaving Russia. You can argue that Andrey never “sees Goncharov” in the way that the Naples gangsters do. This is mirrored by Mario in particular never “seeing Goncharov” as Andrey does, which catalyses a lot of their relationship into the third act - neither of them understands Goncharov on their own, which is why they end up relying on each other so much as they lose their place in the world.

(Katya and Valery also only “see Goncharov” from a certain perspective, but it’s not as overtly explored as the Andrey-Mario axis, and they don’t use the phrase outright.)

It even shows in the cinematography - in his scenes with Mario, Goncharov is shot from a low angle, usually facing to the right and towards the light; he stands above the crowd, he sits behind a desk. By contrast, Andrey’s scenes usually show Goncharov from above, or in dimly-lit rooms; Andrey’s Goncharov is more intimate, sharing closeups with Andrey or Katya, and sitting at one table among many in a busy restaraunt. But whether it’s the glare of the lights on the window or the shadows of Andrey’s window bars, neither sees Goncharov’s face fully.

The reason that “he hasn’t seen Goncharov” is so prolific isn’t just elitism, it’s also a way for fans to joke with each other. Nobody - not even the characters in the film - sees the same Goncharov as anyone else. Nobody sees Goncharov - even as he’s dying, everyone sees the impact of his death on themselves or the city, rather than Goncharov himself.

#goncharov

[highasiwrite]

friendship

“Why don’t you just cut it off if it bothers you so much?” Jenny sat facing the window so I couldn’t see her expression, but her tone was intentional. Annoyed? Exhausted? I turned to her hoping my full body shift in our intimate, confined space would prompt her to look in my direction. It doesn't.

"It doesn't bother me," I say again. "I think it bothers you?"

The curly brown mop that sat atop her head looked darker in the backseat of this Uber. The windows were tinted criminally dark and I wondered if there was a specific reason or if the driver just liked it. Maybe they have a stepdad who has a small window tinting business and they were helping each other out. He gets a discount and tinted windows and the stepdad gets some reduced cost advertising. “You scratch my back and I scratch yours,” he’d said to his stepson. Maybe this was a turning point in their relationship and the stepdad began to finally feel accepted as a bonus dad. “Thanks,” the son would say before putting his arm around his shoulders, “Dad.” 

Maybe the car came off the lot like that.

Maybe this Uber driver has the disease that the kids had in The Others and he can’t be exposed to sunlight. 

Suddenly I'm reminded of the times my dad would say, “Go get some vitamin D!” and I couldn’t help but think that the real vitamin D could not be found hanging as a reflection in the sky and couldn’t cure my bad mood through photosynthesis. 

I ponder while I wait. Wait for Jenny to look over at me because there’s no way I’m going to have a conversation with the side of her head. But I cave embarrassingly soon and something that sounds the way I would imagine a baby goat attempting to vocalize a version of her name squeaks out from somewhere within me and I immediately want to weld my lips together. 

She inhales deeply and looks at me. Annoyed.  

“Okay, fine,” I surrender. “I’ll cut it off. Whatever," my hands go up in front of me to show that I submit. I'm rewarded with a vibe shift.

Her eyes widen slightly and then quickly return to their navy shade of discontent. “I’ll do it as soon as we stop.” I look straight ahead. It’s her turn to wonder what’s going through my mind. 

“You should do it now,” her words slip from her willingly now, like a cat's purr.

I turn to look at her. “Here?” We both glance at the back of the driver's head. He's been on a call and speaking another language.

When Jenny and I make eye contact again, she smiles. At first a smug smile, but then it widens into a toothy grin and her eyes have gone from navy to black and her cheeks are cutting into her eyes making them look like black slits and the backseat has dimmed even darker. She pulls out a pocket knife and shows me. It’s metal and heavy looking and silver and she unfolds it to show me the blade. I expect a "shink!" but it's silent.

Jenny stares at the knife. Then at me.

For a moment it occurs to me that I should choose better friends. But honestly, who? 

I glance forward at our Uber driver who I’ve become partial to because they're either a great stepson to a kind and hardworking man or a victim of a medical anomaly. Maybe he drives for Uber because he can’t have a traditional job due to all the medical treatments/studies. 

“I can’t here. There would be blood everywhere?"

Jenny frowns and grips the knife in her hand. “You’re not going to do it.” Her tone is low and her eyes go to the floor. She snaps the knife shut and drops it into her purse. “No, I’m going to do it. I want to do it, just not here or like this.” 

But she absolutely does not believe me and she’s back to looking out the window. For a moment, she looks like my mom. A translucent ice sculpture with human firmware and no empathy. Suddenly I’m seven and desperately longing to be seen. To not feel heartbroken or invisible or like a mistake for just one moment. I don’t want attention because you know you’re obligated to give it to me or else it will be painfully obvious that you love my baby sister more and that your plan was to start a new family without me.

“You don’t want to end up like your sister,” my mom would tell my sister. And she was right. 

“Fine,” I reach into Jenny’s purse and grab the pocket knife. For a moment I feel giddy. Look at me, at us, at our intimacy. The knife is cold and heavy and really more of a multitool now that I can see it up close. Cut! Cut into your skin and you will both be happy.

Without another thought, I pry the blade open and hold it to my skin. I push the blade in gently–a tester cut–and I’m surprised how sharp this blade is. A thin line of red emerges and the blade looks smaller. I don’t even look at Jenny. Or the driver. I just press harder. At first I find that I have to saw at my skin to really get through it. I can’t tell if the sound is actually registering through my ears or if it’s completely internal. There is blood. More than I’d expected but also not as much. I thought it would spurt and spritz but it just kind of quietly gushes. I watch for a moment as it drips down the side of my forearm.

As I’m cutting, I want to give up. But the way Jenny’s looking at me encourages me to keep going. I can see her out of the corner of my eye. Her mouth is slightly open and her eyes are wider than I’ve ever seen. Her eyebrows have practically become her new hairline. I smile. 

When we exit the Uber I manage to keep my arm hidden from the driver. On the sidewalk, Jenny and I stand together facing the street. About two inches of my tricep have been hacked off and my arm is dripping blood. My whole left side is drenched. But it’s gone. My old best friend tattoo is gone and Jenny’s happy so now I’m happy. This is good. A fresh start.

“Well,” Jenny says finally. “You wanna go get high?” 

#friendship

[julieelisabeth]

Smarties

You know that candy, right? I know it intimately today.

I was out and about on a mission--find a cold brew system, maybe browse HomeGoods, pick up my brother for Costco run, and snag some cocktail supplies because damn it, I feel like making a dirty martini using pickles.

Amidst the busy, my brother finally asked me, "So how ya doin' Julie?"

And I began to share. I began to share how I wonder if I have made the biggest fucking mistake of my life; ending a relationship I was holding for 8 years. I began to share how there's a tug of war in my mind. How I struggle with feeling present and "zone out" often. I began to share how I don't know what "being single" is supposed to be. It's not that I'm lonely or need to be around people all the time...I have things I could do. Do I choose to do them with others or by myself? I began to share some hurt about a phrase from the recent past that I was finally beginning to process. The phrase, "I hope you know what you're doing." I shared that today I began to doubt and wonder if I have been making smart decisions in my life. My brother and I talked more but soon parted ways.

I decided to make my way home and made a stop for the dirty martini supplies. I stared at the aisles as everyone does on a Friday night at the end of a busy work week. I grabbed some things. I debated which register to check out with and I decided to stick with my intuition of going to #1. The cashier greeted me and asked, "How are you?" I said, "I'm alright." I continued to type in all my info for rewards and PIN. Before handing my bags she handed me a Smarties candy saying, "Here, maybe this will brighten your day."

I took it in my hand and looked at it for a moment. I first thought of a friend who loves Smarties, then tears started to blur my vision. 

I looked at her with courage and said, "Today, I have been struggling with if I have made the "smart" decisions for my life. So thank you for this."  We caught ourselves in a warm embrace, her saying, "Well, this is a sign that it will get better."

I thanked her, grabbed my bags, and walked out of the store. I wondered about her story (especially with her Slavic accent) and what a beautiful person she is. I tearfully trekked out to my car when within ~4 feet of my vehicle I slipped on the ice and fell flat on my back.

Honestly, I laid there for a moment or two. Not because I felt extremely hurt...but because I just didn't feel like getting back up. I just wanted to stay there lying in the cold, icy parking lot with my tears. I felt I was done.

But a man in the distance saw me and walked over to check on me, "Ma'am?" "Ma'am, are you okay??" With my back to him and my butt getting cold on the ice, I softly said, "Yeahhh, I'm okay." I slowly started to get ready to get up.

He walked in closer so we were face to face and questioned, "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I just.....I'm okay." "Well, it happens to all of us."

It got me thinking about how true his statement was. Slipping on the ice doesn't just happen to a specific type of person here in the Midwest. It happens to all of us.

Taking a tumble onto the ground? It happens to all of us.

Tripping on our own two feet? Happens to all of us.

Falling down in life? Happens to all of us.

At this point in my life, I truly feel that nobody is paying attention to me. Nobody is watching, wondering, or worried. But I am learning that it's very much the opposite. People in my life--strangers even-- are noticing me.

They are wondering. They are worried. They are seeing.

And I need this. I need people to see me. Not in a self-centered way, but just see me...

See me in my hurt. See me in my pain. See me in my grief. See my confusion. See me in my anger. See me in my peace. See me--- Even though you can't solve or fix or change anything.

Just see me. And be reassured that I'm making Smart decisions for my life.

-Julie Elisabeth, 01.20.2023

[salted-fish-girl]

Eren never in a million years ever thought of doing this. He loves Mikasa. Even if all he feels the last few months is rejection, insecurity and loneliness; he still loves her. He is willing to come in contact with those negative emotions because he loves her. 

He just got off from his shift. His schedule for the month is taking a toll on him. He’s had this schedule before but with everything going on at home, he can’t handle the stress. He’s constantly tired.

Instead of going straight home, he decided to drive around first. Lately things have been frosty between him and his wife. Mikasa never seems to be around anymore. She always seems so down. Too busy to receive or give any sort of affection. They’ve been best friends longer than they were in a romantic relationship but he never felt this type of disconnection towards her. Even without seeing each other for a week, they’re still on the same page. He never felt insecure about his standing on Mikasa. Not like this. She may treat other people like this, but never him. She never pulls away or pushes him away… until now.

He’s a grown man, he’s not about to ask his wife for hugs, kisses and words of affirmation.

Last night, he tried to surprise her with a candlelight dinner. Maybe this is just a dry spell. It’s been months since the last time they’ve been intimate. Back then, he wouldn’t need to seduce her or ask for it. He’ll just kiss her longer than usual and it usually leads to that. One touch and she’s putty in his hands.

“My wife is a sex addict!” She’s beet red.“S-shut up!” She throws a pillow at him. “It’s your fault anyway!” Is she pouting? He pulled her back to bed and they started kissing again. She straddled him and his eyes darkened with desire. “...take responsibility?” How can someone be cute and sexy at the same time? Mikasa just got dressed to start her day. He’s peeling everything off of her again. “My pleasure.” He tried to hold her but she dropped his hand. That was the last straw. Before he could confront her, Mikasa ended up sick, running to the bathroom. She’s throwing her guts  out. “Mikasa, open the door.” He wants to help but she locks herself inside the bathroom. Her husband is a doctor, if she’s feeling sick, why won’t she come to him? He doesn’t know what to do anymore.

Dinner had gone cold. Forget it, he has no appetite anymore. Her favorite ice cream melted. Stupid him for forgetting to put it back to the freezer. It was like he can do nothing right when it comes to her nowadays.

Is she pregnant? She’s been moody and nauseous lately. Excitement flowed right through him. He is pacing outside the bathroom door.

The first year of marriage, his mom was bugging them non stop for grandchildren. They discussed it. Surprisingly, Eren didn’t hate the idea of having kids early on but Mikasa pointed out that he’s just starting to get the fruits of his labor with his career so he should enjoy it more. He tidied up a bit to calm down.

“No worries, we can have children anytime anyway.” Mikasa holds him. Both hands on his face, her thumb running over his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Mikasa’s always thinking of him. Somehow that made his desire to put his child into her stronger. He was ecstatic when they talked about finally trying for a baby this year. Imagining a mini Mikasa running around soon brings a smile on his face… He hugged her when she opened the door. “Are you pregnant?” giddiness radiated when he asked. She froze and said they won’t be having any time soon. “We should focus on our careers first.” That’s okay because she’s the one who’ll be carrying the child but he wished that she consulted him first before making any decision… If someone tells him that his wife has been switched, he’ll believe them because he doesn’t recognize this person in front of him. They’ve been fighting a lot lately. Fighting is a strong word. More like, the house is so cold. The house is still spotless. Tightly pressed clothes in his closet. Perfectly cooked meals when he arrives home but for some reason, Mikasa’s always away. He almost never sees her anymore. When he noticed it weeks before, he hired Louise in the flower shop without consulting her. Eren called it a surprise but it’s an executive decision as her husband. He thought everything would go back to normal after that but even with her new assistant, she still wasn’t home much. He remembers going home to an empty house after school when he was a child and it sent serious chills. The same feeling of dread comes flooding in whenever he’s home. Eren didn’t eat much and went to sleep, longing for his Mikasa. When he woke up in the middle of the night for some water, he saw her sleeping on the couch in a fetal position. He contemplated whether to wake her up for her to sleep in their room but he didn’t want to disturb her so he just covered her with a blanket. When he went back to bed, a tear fell down his eyes. Old wounds reopened. Unfortunately, the feeling of loneliness is still there when he wakes up alone in his marital bed. It’s been awhile since he went to this coffee shop. He loved this place in his college days. “Eren?!” Historia hugged him and he hugged the cheery blonde back. “How have you been?” “I’m good!” The coffee and company, the whole ambience is just right. It feels warm and welcoming. Friends catching up. It was really nice to have a talk with someone. Making him forget about his loneliness. It distracted him. “How’s Ymir?” Historia’s face fell. Who would have thought that Ymir’s halfhearted marriage proposals to Historia would come to fruition after high school? They eloped on our senior trip. I still remember the blast that we had partying like our lives depended on it. I’m pretty sure all of us we’re tipping the line to alcohol poisoning. Historia talked about wanting kids and Ymir, surprisingly, is not very sold on it. “I told her that she could donate the egg and we’ll just have a donor from the sperm bank. I’ll carry the child. It would be our baby. She told me it’s not the same.” I empathize with Historia’s frustrations. Ymir had a hard life. Hard life is an understatement. She never had anyone. She’s been living from foster to foster home. Changing schools before landing on our town and meeting her ‘angel’. “I just wish she could just talk to me about it instead of evading me and treating everything as a joke.” It all came crashing down last week when she’s scheduled to have an IVF. They had a huge fight and decided to take a break from each other. Historia’s crying by the time she finished her story. “I love Ymir but sometimes it’s just so difficult…” I can relate to that especially with my situation with Mikasa. She wiped her tears from her big blue eyes. “What about you? How’s Mikasa?” I told her everything. We’re cringing… “That must be really awkward. For her to throw up the dinner you painstakingly made for her…” I sighed. It wasn’t just that… I never thought how pathetic I’ve become hearing it out loud from my own mouth. Historia's face grew more shocked as my story progressed. “You? months? No sex?” We laughed but it’s  not of happiness, it’s of helplessness and defeat.   

Historia and I dated briefly and it was totally cool when we decided to ultimately end it. We had a good time and she’s cool. She’s not jealous and it’s actually easy to be with her. We’re in the same circle of friends and we understand each other. But we’re too similar. I think it also has something to do with her growing feelings for a certain freckled lanky girl. 

“Did I hear you right? Months?” she repeated the question. I shook my head and settled on a brittle smile. “You’re not bad in bed.” I snorted. “Not bad?” She raised her eyebrows. It was just like the old simpler times. Just pure fun with no responsibilities. Life of pure adrenaline between parties, fucks and shenanigans. No cold empty houses and rigid schedules. It got me thinking. When’s the last time I hang out with my friends? She’s right. It’s been too long. For the past week, it has become a tradition that after work, I’ll go to the coffee shop and we’ll hang out and talk for a bit. We weren’t doing anything wrong. We’re just talking, in a public space. Sure, she’s my ex but it’s been a long time and Mikasa knows her.  “You know I often wonder if things would be easier if we ended up together.” I looked at her and agreed.

I don’t know what happened. I don’t know who leans first or what but the next thing I know we’re kissing. Pumpkin Spiced Latte, Channel… I broke the kiss. Mikasa… It’s wrong. I love Mikasa! And our eyes mirror horror and regret.

“I love Ymir!” both of us scrambled on what to say. In the end, she mirrored my sentiments exactly that it was all a mistake. We were both just lonely and feeling neglected. We immediately agreed that no one could ever know. Historia left first, pale and sweating buckets because of what just happened. I am glued to my seat. My mind is thinking of the consequences if Mikasa ever finds out. I am paralyzed. Like a nightmare when you can’t move.

Armin suddenly stood in front of me and punched me square in the face. We both fell on the ground. The other patrons immediately separated us. 

Eren buried his face in his hands. What am I even doing here? I screwed up. I made a mistake. A huge one that I never meant to happen.

I expected Armin to give me an ultimatum; he'll tell Mikasa if I don’t confess but he was silent the whole time. Annie came to pick him up and kept asking what’s wrong. Nobody answered. We can’t look at each other.

I came home and expected some plates to fly on me but everything was normal. Normal in a sense that there’s food on the table. I waited for two more days, I’m guessing Armin never told Mikasa about what happened. I want to talk. I want to fix things. I want to ask who that guy she was with when I saw her at the hospital. I want to ask her why she lied to me about it. So many questions but no answers.

I confessed my transgressions to her.

Despite mentally preparing myself, things were so much worse than I had ever imagined.

[onekonii]

𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔫 [𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚]

This has been rewritten and edited, we're sorry if there are any misspellings or anything to ruin your reading.

Warnings: Mentions of domestic abuse, toxic relationships, toxic love, the Duchess is not the reader. Mentions of intimate acts (sex*als)

MERMAID AU: based on the little mermaid.

Note:

The images I use are the property of their authors, but the edition runs by part mine. This is a new version since the previous one lacked consistency and I didn't like the result 😑 😒. Part 2

The beautiful woman's disconsolate tears echoed on the desolate beach, tinged by the moonlight. Heartbroken and soul shattered, she wondered again and again what she had done wrong. No matter how much effort she put into attracting the attention of her husband, the man of her dreams, she seemed to find her bored and stoic. Sitting on the sand, she let out a sigh full of bitterness and pain, as the wind caressed her messy hair.

"My attempts were in vain.... Why, what else can I do to win his love? It seems I'm just a nuisance in his life..." whispered the woman to the wind, her voice broken and full of deep sadness.

At that moment, a supernatural-looking man appeared walking in the distance. His snow- and moon-white locks swayed gracefully in the sea breeze. His pale skin, smooth as alabaster, radiated a beauty that transcended earthly boundaries. Oblivious to the woman's presence, he waded into the ocean, letting out a captivating, melancholy melody. The strength of his voice seemed to release the accumulated stress.

The musical notes rose into the air, and the woman, irresistibly attracted by the mysterious and beautiful voice, raised her head to observe the enigmatic man. Their gazes met by chance, and an awkward silence took over the atmosphere. Both felt uneasy in the presence of the other, as if the universe conspired to bring them together at that time and place.

"Excuse me... I didn't mean to interrupt your moment of solitude," the woman said shyly, as she wiped away tears with the back of her hand. She felt pathetic and embarrassed in the presence of such a dazzling being.

"Don't worry. I didn't expect to find someone in this secluded place, normally no one comes here," replied the man with a playful smile, trying to hide his surprise at the woman's appearance.

The encounter did not go unnoticed, and little by little they began to engage in an awkward conversation full of curious questions and hidden longings.

"What brings you to this lonely place?" she asked first, seeking to break the ice that surrounded them, wanting to understand what brought that extraordinary being to a forgotten corner of the beach.

"I needed a break from my busy life. Sometimes I even long to get away from responsibilities and immerse myself in my thoughts," he replied with a kind but tired smile. He turned to her, curious to know her story. 

As they continued to converse, the barriers of the awkward situation slowly began to fade. The formerly unhappy and bitter woman found solace in the presence of the captivating-voiced albino. Meanwhile, he was fascinated by the spontaneity and passion she hid behind her careless appearance. A peculiar and special bond was beginning to weave between them.

"Have you ever felt trapped in a world that doesn't allow you to be yourself?" she asked, breaking the silence as she stared at him, her eyes reflecting longing and vulnerability.

He was transfixed for a moment, immersed in thought, trying to find the right words to answer that profound question. With a sincere smile, he decided to share his truth.

"Sometimes, life places us in circumstances that limit us, but it's up to us to find a way to free ourselves from those chains. Personally, I have found in music a way to escape and express myself," Gojo said, revealing a more intimate aspect of his being.

She smiled, laughing at her sincere and authentic expression. In that instant, they seemed to understand each other without the need for additional words.

The sound of the surf gently breaking against the shore became the backdrop of their encounter, as they both shared their deepest experiences and secrets. As they got deeper into their conversation, the awkward and tense moments gave way to a closer and more genuine connection.

Time seemed to stand still in that secluded corner of the beach, and as the moon bathed their encounter in a silvery halo and their gazes intertwined, charged with a silent understanding. The waves of the sea danced around them, as if the ocean itself was celebrating the meeting of two young souls on the abandoned beach.

As the night progressed, the chemistry between them became evident. They shared stories, dreams and fears, immersing themselves in an ever-deepening complicity. Fluid and emotion-filled dialogues revealed a connection that went beyond words, as if their hearts began to beat in unison.

However, dawn was breaking over the horizon, tinging the sky with shades of pink and gold. The magical moment was coming to an end, and both realized they had to separate.

"It was an unexpected and special encounter. Thank you for giving me this company in a moment of loneliness," the woman expressed with gratitude, while the sparkle in her eyes reflected a spark of hope that she had lost before amid broken and disconsolate sobs.

The white-haired man nodded softly, a mixture of melancholy and longing reflected in his eyes. "It has been an honor to share this time with you. Don't forget that there is always a light in the darkness. I hope you find your way to happiness."

With those meaningful words, they said goodbye on the seashore, each carrying with them the indelible memory of that fleeting but transformative encounter.

The woman looked back one last time as she walked away from the beach, carrying her emotions and longings with her.

Ժ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴

The woman returned to her gloomy home, tormented by the echoes of pleasure and the dull thunder of the betrayal her husband consummated with his lover. Keeping silent, as she had been taught, she went into her lonely room, where the man she loved had abandoned her.

However, a strange sensation lingered in her mind: the memory of the beautiful albino remained, like a flickering flame in the midst of the darkness. She had never seen someone with that snow-white mane and those enigmatic eyes, whose blue seemed to reflect an infinite sky. She swore that if she got close enough, her could catch a glimpse of dancing clouds in those celestial orbs, like the ones that float in a clear sky off a sunny beach. 

She lay back on her bed, staring at the ceiling as her mind wandered through the thoughts that plagued her. Finally, exhaustion enveloped her and plunged her into a disturbed sleep.

The hours passed in a haze, and upon awakening, she found herself plunged into the gloom of her room. A faint glow filtered through the slits in the heavy curtains, indicating that a new day had begun. The memory of the encounter on the beach enveloped her like an evocative mist, and a sense of longing filled her chest.

With determination, she got out of bed and walked over to the mirror. She looked at her reflection, her eyes red-rimmed and tired, her hair disheveled. The woman reflected in front of her was a shadow of her former self, but something had changed. In the depths of her being, she had awakened a spark of courage and a determination to seek the happiness she longed for. However, her pessimistic and bitter expression threatened to overshadow that determination.

"I really am pathetic... ahh! This heart of mine is hopeless," the girl muttered in despair. She then decided to fix herself up, getting rid of her sleeping dress still on and trying to correct the smeared makeup on her face.

Sometimes she wondered about her role or why she was still attached to this toxic love.

***

The woman, armed with courage, emerged from her room ready to face the day to day as the socialite duchess she was meant to appear to be. Despite her longing for something more, she was resigned to her role as a decorative wife, a mere accessory to the duke whose only interest lay in his mistress. Her husband ignored her completely, confining her to a superficial and meaningless role.

She masterfully organized and attended the most important social events, where her presence was required to maintain the status and power of the family. However, deep inside, she desperately longed to escape from that gilded cage and find a glimmer of authenticity in the midst of falsehood.

In the midst of this empty existence, occasional encounters with the enigmatic albino became her secret refuge. Hidden from her husband and the prying eyes of high society, they would meet in secluded places, where they could relax and revel in the simplicity of nature.

Between emotionally charged whispers and intertwined glances, they explored the deepest corners of their souls. However, for her, the albino was simply a friend. After all, she was oblivious to the deep feelings she harbored in his heart. 

One day, as they walked together through the picturesque harbor, the woman could not hide her sadness and sighed as she gazed at the crimson-tinged horizon. Satoru, captivated and curious, took her hand and asked in a soft but determined voice:

"What troubles you so much as to ignore the beautiful sunrise? You have been distant and self-absorbed. I understand if you do not wish to share it with me."

The duchess was moved by his words and sketched a smile, trying to dispel the weary expression and release some of the burden she carried.

"You know, it's hard to break the chains that bind me to this life of appearances. But my heart still clings, even though I know my love for him is toxic. Sometimes I feel like a fool, waiting for something that will never come. Should I continue to cling to this illusion?" she replied, asking herself a question that only she could answer.

The whispers of the wind continued their walk, wrapped in a silence that evidenced the conflict they harbored in their hearts. The duchess knew that giving up her love for the duke would not be easy, for it was rooted deep within her. Meanwhile, Satoru felt his heart beating yearningly, struggling against the reality that she only saw him as a friend.

At the culmination of their encounter, they parted amidst the glow of dawn, both engulfed in a storm of conflicting emotions.

Ժ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴

Filled with silent regret, the duchess returned to the sumptuous duchy which, despite its grandeur, was nothing more than a gilded cage that imprisoned her. At the opulent dinner table, her presence went unnoticed, ignored by both the duke and the other diners. The air of indifference seemed to whisper to her that her existence was only relevant as a figurehead, devoid of voice and will.

The duke, without taking his eyes off his plate, cast a fleeting glance at the duchess and let out a brief sigh. "Carry on as usual," he murmured coolly. It was evident that his interest had completely vanished.

Night fell like a dark cloak over the duchy and the duchess found herself summoned to the duke's bedchamber. Intimate acts, charged with an empty tension, took place without passion or emotional connection. Fulfilling his frozen duties, the duke left her once his needs were met, without further words or gestures of tenderness. The emptiness in the bedroom intertwined with the emptiness in the duchess' soul, leaving her trapped in an abyss of loneliness and hopelessness.

The days passed with parsimony, as the duchess clung to the fragile hope of brief encounters with the albino. In the secret corners of hidden gardens and winding paths, their gazes met and their conversations were a glimmer of authenticity amidst the deception. But each encounter was fleeting, like a breath of fresh air in a stifling world. Unfulfilled longings and unexpressed feelings hung in the air, as if both were caught in a dangerous game of attraction and denial.

The duchess longed to find solace in the albino's arms, but clung to the illusion that her love for the duke could be transformed, that she would one day be reciprocated and truly loved. However, the relentless reality and emotional wounds were tangling in her heart, slowly tearing it apart.

As the days went by, the encounters with the albino became more scarce and fragmented. Her husband became suspicious of her and her actions, so he ordered her not to let her leave the dukedom. 

Relatively, during their encounters a furtive brush of hands, a glance full of complicity, were all they could afford. Mutual attraction was still palpable in the air, but the distance imposed by circumstances was cruel and implacable.

In the darkness of the night, as the duchess lay alone in her bed, tears slid silently down her cheeks. She knew that the love she so longed for with the duke would never be hers, and that the refuge she found in the brief encounters with the albino was also short-lived. The pain of loneliness was becoming less bearable and not knowing exactly how to feel.

Ժ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴

The tension in the duchy reached its peak in a heated argument between the duchess and the duke. Anger-filled words flew around the room, like sharp daggers seeking to wound. Unable to control his fury, the duke lost control and violently struck the duchess, leaving a trail of pain and tears on her face.

"You are nothing, just a fucking nuisance that I can use and discard as I please! Forget that I could ever love you," the duke vociferated with contempt, revealing the true nature of their relationship. It was crystal clear that he used her solely for her power and influence coming from his father the right hand of the emperor, considering her nothing more than a disposable object.

"What did I expect from you, hahaha I feel pathetic."

Whispered the duchess still lying on the floor from the blow. Heartbroken and body aching, she retreated from the room in silence, charged with tumultuous emotions. Between the darkness of the night and the waves of the beach, she found refuge in the arms of the albino, who received her with compassion and tenderness.

Tears ran freely down the duchess' cheeks as she recounted to him the duke's cruel treatment, the hurtful words and the physical pain she had suffered. Disappointment and despair enveloped her like a dark cloak, and she sought solace in the albino's comforting embrace.

"I'm sorry," she said in a trembling voice. "I wanted to believe that things would change.... But I've been deceived..." She cried silently, clinging to him desperately, like a child clinging to its mother for protection. He stroked her hair and hugged her tightly.

"Please don't cry," he whispered, trying to calm her. "It's okay." He reassured but she only turned to look at him, tears staining her makeup.

"But it isn't! I thought my heart was strong enough, but it crumbled in front of him."

Satoru, unable to contain his feelings any longer, let himself be overpowered by passion and longing. Without warning, he leaned toward her and kissed her, leaving the duchess surprised and stunned by the unexpected act. At that moment, the world seemed to stop, and the kiss carried with it the promise of an authentic and liberating love.

The duchess, overwhelmed by the mixture of emotions and confusion, slowly separated from Satoru. She didn't know what to say and honestly her mind was a mess, so she didn't care and let him continue. 

Their lips collided, skin to skin. Satoru sucked the woman's soft skin, she moaned and felt the albino's hands on her breasts. He began to undress.

"Don't stop," she said, moving closer to him.

He caressed her body with his hands and tongue. Sus dedos tocaron su pecho, luego se deslizaron hasta su abdomen. He pulled her and pushed her against the fresh sand of the beach.

Satoru was a little shy at first, not wanting to ruin their relationship just because of one night of passion, but when he felt the Duchess's naked body pressed against his, he became aroused. His cock was hardening and ready for action.

Without waiting any longer, he wrapped his mouth around her neck, kissing and licking her, then slowly slid down her naked body. 

"Fuck! I've wanted you for these months, I've dreamed of you, and now you're all mine.... Hmmmm" The white-haired man moaned between kisses, his hardened cock ready to thrust into the girl's panties.

The duchess, overcome with lust, greedily took the white-haired man's cock into her mouth. The sensation of pleasure shot through her as she licked and sucked him. She wrapped her arms around his body and hugged him tightly, savoring the sensation of being intimate with a man again after so many years.

She closed her eyes as she sucked him deeply. The taste of him made her dizzy and aroused her. Her mouth filled with saliva and she moaned.

Satoru released her juices, letting his semen leak out inside the woman's vagina. Then, hungry and somewhat rough, he carried her in his arms, wrapping his hips around her legs and thrusting his cock between her buttocks. "Ahhh fuck! how tight you are, I love you so much" His whispers filled with obsessive lust they were not heard by her.

The duchess cried out from the pain of his thrusts, but she also felt the pleasure that accompanied them. She felt the albino's strong hands on her body, caressing her and massaging her spongy breasts. His kisses reached her ears, arousing her even more.

"I want you inside me," She moaned desperately, wanting to forget about anything and just let herself be carried away by him and his cock. "I need you inside me." 

He didn't answer her, but pushed harder, taking her roughly and with a ravenous hunger in his blue eyes.

Then she, lost in her lust, didn't notice the looming scales or merman features that he inadvertently let out of his body, as he was just as, if not more, lost in her pleasures. 

"I'm going to cum... I'm going to cum..." he moaned.

The duchess felt the intense pleasure that accompanied her orgasm, and was surprised at how good it felt to be touched like that. The white-haired man pulled away from the duchess and kissed her deeply.

"You've done well... I love you so much," he whispered. However, the duchess only looked at the ground with conflict and when she least expected it, she slipped away, while satoru slept next to her, leaving him alone. Many emotions crossed her face, yet she was crying. She felt confused and somewhat upset, she did not see the beautiful man that way and yet, deep inside, she loved him very much.

Ժ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴

It was early in the morning, and the duchess was walking through the gardens of her secluded ducal mansion, feeling tired and weak. She had spent the night lamenting and feeling even more confused. In her mind, she went over the events of the previous night and the sensations she had experienced were repeated over and over again. She couldn't sleep and she knew it was because of the albino, who had awakened something in her.

She felt her heart beating faster and began to feel a sensation in her stomach, as if it were full of butterflies. But she didn't want to get her hopes up, she feared that she would fall back into the clutches of love, at this point she would only stay in the duchy as her parents would not hesitate to punish her if she divorced.

It was early morning, and the duchess was walking through the gardens of her secluded mansion in the duchy, feeling tired and weak. She had been up all night, tormented by the confusion and mixed emotions that had arisen. The events of the previous night replayed over and over in her mind, and though she felt a strange attraction to the albino, she was also filled with fear and doubt.

Her heart was beating faster and the butterflies in her stomach seemed to flutter endlessly. But she refused to allow hope to grow, afraid to fall back into the clutches of love and face the devastating consequences it could bring. Her social position and the fear of her parents' reprisals if she divorced kept her captive in the duchy, a gilded prison from which she could not easily escape.

The duchess felt cowardly and ashamed of her actions the night before. After that intimate and passionate encounter with Satoru, she had felt a surge of shame wash over her. The image of his male hands on her body was still etched in her mind, evoking a mixture of desire and guilt. She didn't feel ready to face Satoru after standing him up without explanation, unable to deal with the flood of emotions and fears that inundated her.

As she continued her solitary stroll through the gardens, the duchess found herself in a sea of tumultuous thoughts. She longed to find answers, clarity and the strength to make life-changing decisions, but it all seemed so confusing and complicated. She paused under the shade of an ancient oak tree, and tears began to well up in her eyes. She wept silently, letting the tears wash her face as the sun began to shine on the horizon.

In that moment of vulnerability, the duchess recalled the brief encounters with Satoru in previous days. Although her heart pounded when she was near him, there was also a deep fear that held her back. She didn't know what to do, how to cope with all these overwhelming emotions that threatened to overflow.

The duchess wiped away her tears and took a deep breath, determined to face reality and clarify her feelings. However, fear continued to haunt her, afraid of getting hurt once again. Deep in her heart, she knew that postponing this conversation would only prolong her emotional torment.

Despite her initial determination, the duchess decided to wait for a more propitious opportunity to broach the subject with Satoru. She believed that an evening would be the perfect time, when the mansion would be quiet and the shadows would offer a degree of privacy. She planned every detail in her mind, imagining how she would express her feelings and how she would listen to his.

However, fate had other plans in mind. In the middle of the night, as the duchess prepared to sneak out of her room, the duke discovered her in the hallway. His face was shadowed with anger and mockery, as if he were enjoying a macabre spectacle.

"Where do you think you are going, my dear duchess, to meet your mistress, perchance? I'm not surprised, you ungrateful whore," the duke pronounced with contempt and sarcasm.

The duke's words struck the duchess like sharp blades. Tears welled up in her eyes again, but this time they were not only tears of sadness, but also of indignation. The cruelty with which he treated her reminded the duchess how callous and selfish her husband was.

The duchess tried to respond, to defend herself and explain her feelings, but the duke interrupted her with a mocking laugh and threatened her with even harsher consequences.

"I think it's about time you learned a lesson, my dear Duchess. If you want to play with fire, you will suffer the burns. From now on, I will lock you in the attic, where you can reflect on your mistakes and appreciate the privilege of being my wife."

The duchess's heart sank in her chest as she listened to her husband's words. She was dragged by the servants to the dark and gloomy attic, where she was locked in, surrounded by shadows and silence. Sadness and frustration enveloped her as she struggled to find a way out of her prison.

For the only time she got the duke's attention and when she finally believed she would be able to confess her deep feelings for the albino, she was once again ruined by the man who claimed to be her husband on paper and not in actions.

However, in the midst of the darkness, the duchess found a glimmer of hope even if she did not know it. In her womb, a life was growing, oblivious to the strife and strife that plagued her world.

Meanwhile, Gojo continued to visit the beach every day, putting aside his responsibilities as monarch of the oceans. However, his heart was saddened to see that the duchess did not come to meet him. Although he had never revealed his true identity to her, he longed to do so, but she had left that night after they had given themselves to each other.

As the days passed without news of the duchess, pessimistic thoughts began to consume Gojo. He wondered if she had regretted everything they had shared, if the kiss and tender caresses they had exchanged had been in vain. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change the situation. With his heart full of pain, he decided to return to Atlantis, his kingdom, leaving behind the beach that had witnessed their frustrated love.

Ժ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴

Days later, the duke finally released the duchess from her confinement, warning her not to try anything beyond his control. She nodded submissively, aware that her dream of divorce and freedom from that toxic relationship was fading because of the political and business implications it would entail. Meanwhile, the duchess was beginning to suspect that she was pregnant, but did not mention it to the duke.

In an oversight by the duke, when he left to meet his mistress, the duchess seized the opportunity and escaped. She carried with her the necklace that Satoru had given her, hoping that he would respond when she wanted to see him. However, to her despair, there was no response. Plunged in pain and confusion, the duchess found herself in the middle of the beach, crying and shouting her anguish to the wind.

In that instant, the duchess understood that she was alone and that she must face her uncertain future on her own. Heartbroken and with the weight of her pregnancy on her shoulders, she clung to the only certainty she had: the life growing inside her. Determined to protect her child and find her own path, the duchess set out to face the challenges ahead, not knowing if she would ever again cross paths with those who had marked her life so profoundly.

Ժ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴ ╴

A year had passed since that stormy encounter on the beach. The duchess lived in a constant state of discomfort and pain, estranged from Satoru. The two had grown apart due to a misunderstanding that had fueled bitterness in their hearts.

The duchess, determined to protect her daughter from the duke's toxic influence, raised her in secret, keeping her hidden in the duchy's secluded mansion. The little girl, barely a year old, was her greatest treasure and the reason she had found the strength to carry on.

Meanwhile, the duke had formalized his relationship with his mistress by making her his official wife. The duchess, relegated to being the second wife, suffered in silence, feeling her position and power slowly fading away.

The duchess had made the decision to raise her daughter alone, without depending on the duke or Satoru. Despite the pain and disappointment that filled her heart, she found the strength to give all the love and care to her little girl. She knew that her daughter deserved a better future, far from the power games and toxic relationships that had marked her own life.

As the baby girl grew, the duchess found joy in every smile and every accomplishment. Motherhood had become her refuge, a source of hope and unconditional love.

Time marched on and the duchess clung to the hope that someday, both she and Satoru would be able to leave the pain and mistrust behind although at this point that was a simple wish that faded over the years. For the moment, however, their anger and suffering kept them apart, with no possibility of reconciliation.

The Duchess, full of determination and courage, faced each day with her head held high, ready to protect her daughter and forge a new destiny for both of them. Although the shadow of the duke and his lover was still there, she refused to be swept away by it. She knew that she had found strength in herself and in the unconditional love that her little daughter gave her. Together, they would face any challenge that life threw at them.

Well, although misunderstandings have separated them, it will not change the desire that both feel for each other...

There's no beauty without ends No creation with no mends A new silent wish, will cast aside our pain Distancing side by side in vain

Reflecting no more anguish by your side A contradiction worthy to abide Remnants of us ebb and flow A glimpse of love just waiting

Oh, a neverending hope to mend it all Flow, let our time remain and wait for voids to fall

Ascending through the motions It would seem as though they'd last Admitting to our questions And doubts thrown at the past

There's no rightness in pretend Finding comfort once again Wish the days would pass, just yearning for our fate Yet there is solace to be found within dismay

Disowning feelings of grief through these tides A complicated love I'd dare not hide Turbulences come and go But won't reject me whole

Oh, a bittersweet vision through me that befalls Know that despite our voids I swear to hold it all

While sinking through this ocean I would wonder why you'd ask Accepting our affection I just knew that it would last

I want to be right where you are I want to be right where you are I want to be right where you are I want to be right where you are

Touch, the heavens and the skies alight (I want to be right where you are) Breathe, the entire universe shines bright (I want to be right where you are)

I want to be right where you are I want to be right where you are...

#Mermaid Au #Gojo satoru x reader #Yandere x reader #Platonic yandere #Jujutsu kaisen imagines #Anime x reader #Female reader #Fantasy stories #Siren song #Yandere triton #Yandere father #Romance #My writing #Gojo fanfic #Gojo satoru imagines #Yandere stories #Fantasia x reader #Yandere fantasy #Ocean #X reader #My blog #Gojo mermaid #yandere x darling #anime #yandere tendencies #male yandere #the little mermaid #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk satoru

[corrupt-fvcker]

Sleeping Positions...

Sleeping Positions HCs ( AoT x GN!reader )

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Reiner Braun, Erwin Smith, Zeke Yeager

Warnings: domestic fluff, cuddling, gender neutral reader, sfw, barely there mention of spicy themes

Author’s Note: just some long-ish headcanons about cuddling with my favorite aot boys. request are open but NO S4 SPOILERS PLEASE <3 also feel free to request this HC for a character i didn’t include.

Levi Ackerman:

In the beginning of your relationship, Levi preferred to sleep with some distance between the two of you. He struggled with falling asleep with another lying beside him, waking up at your every slight movement and finding it difficult to let his guard down.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, because if that was the case, you simply wouldn’t even be allowed in his bedroom.

No, it was just because it was a foreign experience to Levi. The thought of sleeping beside you was pleasant, but the reality of it made him quite anxious.

Over time, he grows more comfortable with you. He doesn’t feel the constant need to look his best around you and impress you, meaning you get to see the captain in some more casual clothes and domestic settings.

It starts off with brief naps, whether it be just him sleeping or both of you. He eases into the practice of falling asleep beside you. At first, you’d nap in the same room but in different spaces. Usually with Levi sitting in a plush chair while you sprawled out on the couch.

Then it slowly progressed from there, taking longer and longer naps as your bodies got closer and closer together.

When you finally reach the point in your relationship where both you and Levi are comfortable sleeping beside one another throughout the night, Levi adopts some favorite positions to sleep with you.

Levi loves being the little spoon. He gets cold easily throughout the night, but with you curled around him? He’s able to sleep through the night without having to tug the blankets up once. You feel like a furnace compared to him. But he feels his entire body warm up to a comfortable temperate whenever he feels your stomach and chest pressed against his back.

He consistently wears socks to bed. But don’t you dare tease him about it because he only wears them for you. This man’s feet are freezing. Once he forgot to wear socks to bed and you woke up several times during the night because of his ice-cold feet.

When he’s the only one tired, he likes to nap with his head in your lap. Please, for the love of god, run your fingers through his hair as he drifts off. He will love you forever. He doesn’t mind if you read or, in a modern setting, watch television as he sleeps. As long as he can rest his head in your lap with one of your hands playing with his hair, Levi will be content.

When you’re the one who’s especially tired, Levi doesn’t mind if you use him as a pillow. He struggles with doing nothing for too long, this man likes to be productive. So if he needs to fill out some forms or read over some reports, he’ll happily let you use his body as a pillow as long as he can keep busy. Feel free to rest your head on his lap or shoulder if he needs to fill out some paper work. If all he needs to do is read over some documents, he has no problem lying down with you on his chest as long as he can have his hands free to hold up the book.

Now usually, Levi doesn’t like to feel too crowded. He moves around a little bit in his sleep and he will wake up if he feels trapped or if his movements are restricted. But after some intimate time in the bedroom? Please smother this man while you have the chance. Post-sex Levi is the only version of this man that craves to feel your full body weight on top of him. Yes, lay directly on top of him. He’ll run his hands along your spine and play with your hair, just please don’t leave him alone. He gets a little clingy after sex. He wants to feel taken care of as well as feel that he’s taking care of your needs.

Reiner Braun:

Now this one clings to you when he sleeps.

No matter how much space you want, no matter how far you try to distance yourself, no matter how thick of a pillow barrier you build— Reiner will find you. It doesn’t matter if he’s barely began to drift off or if he’s dead asleep, he’s body will find a way to get to yours.

I strongly stand by the belief that Reiner’s love language is physical affection. This man glows when he’s in your embrace.

If you run your nails along his scalp? He melts. Pepper kisses along his neck and jaw? He turns a dark shade of pink. Wrap your arms around him? He will not let you go for the rest of the evening.

Reiner needs physical touch. He’ll go crazy without it.

Sleeping beside you at night is one of Reiner’s favorite parts of your relationship. Being able to hold you as well as being held has become so special to him.

At night, he will either want you nestled into his side or holding you from behind. He likes to have at least one arm around you, if not both. When you sleep by his side with one of your arms tossed over his torso while your head rests on his chest, he finds it so easy to drift off. Your presence is just so comforting to him. Bonus points if you also have one of your legs thrown over his.

If your not curled up at his side, he likes to fall asleep holding you. He doesn’t mind being the little spoon, he actually loves it, but when he’s able to cradle your entire body with his, he feels all warm and fuzzy inside. He wants to protect you, he needs to protect you. When his body is shielding yours, he can sleep peacefully knowing you’re safely beside him.

Now, if you are particularly exhausted, Reiner has no issue with dropping everything to serve as your personal mattress. He will sprawl out on the couch and heave your body on top of his completely. He’ll either force himself to take a nap with you or find some quite activity to entertain himself while you sleep on top of him. Feel free to nuzzle into his neck or use his limbs as something to hold while you sleep, he wants you to use his body for your needs.

But don’t even think that Reiner is doing this out of the kindness and generosity of his heart. No, he’s just fulfilling his own selfish needs. He’s not sure what it is but there’s just something about having your entire weight on top of him that’s just so comforting. It’s addicting.

Which means that if the tables are turned and it’s Reiner who needs a nap, fully expect him to drag you away from whatever you’re doing to use you as his personal weighted blanket. Like I said, he’s just trying to fulfill his own selfish needs. It has nothing to do with the fact that Reiner’s definitely head over heels in love with you.

Also, regardless of your body type, he will grope and squeeze at any plush area of your body— thighs, ass, tummy, chest — literally any part of your body that Reiner can grab a handful of flesh. He can’t help himself. If you ask him to stop, he’ll try his best to respect your wishes but when he’s drifting off sometimes he forgets and does it anyways. But it doesn’t bother you too much because you know it comes from a place of adoration and love, and you know Reiner would never mock or tease you about your body.

Speaking of which, please retaliate and squeeze his pecs. Refer to them strictly as his “tits”, he doesn’t care what you call them as long as you don’t stop touching him. Reiner is touch starved and will put up with your shit if it means he gains physical affections.

Erwin Smith:

Before you even consider stepping in this man’s bedroom, please take into account that Erwin kicks in his sleep. Hard.

He can’t help himself. He’s not even truly aware that he does it until you let him know about it. And god, does he feel awful.

His long legs become weapons of mass destruction after 9pm. His elbows? Expect to be jabbed with them in the rib cage at least twice.

Again, it’s not intentional... he really can’t help it.

But with that having been said, this man loves to cuddle you. He’ll beg you to fall asleep in his arms if you go on a cuddles strike after getting bruised up the previous night.

It isn’t until Erwin accidentally jabs his elbow into your eye during the night that you tell him that you’re gonna start sleeping on the couch if he doesn’t clean up his act. From then on, all he’s allowed to hold is your hand at night. You enforce two sides of the mattress, your hands meeting at the middle.

And it does kill him a little on the inside.

So his solution? Soak up as much cuddles during the daytime as possible.

He enforces a mandatory cuddle time after work and just before dinner. He prefers holding you but he really doesn’t care what position you lay in as long as you’re close to him.

Erwin can usually sit pretty still during naps, he doesn’t full transform into a professional boxer until he’s at least 2 hours of sleep in.

Which means he pushes bedtime a little later than usual so that you both have time for a thirty minute nap during the day.

Erwin lives for these naps. Those thirty minutes? Yeah, that’s what gets him through the day.

He doesn’t even care if he’s not tired, he’ll force himself to lay down so that he has an excuse to hold you for a little while.

And don’t think he’s above tricking you into giving him more cuddles. In modern times, he’ll turn off your alarm clock on the weekends so that he has more time to give you some lazy morning love. And no, he doesn’t want to watch your cheesy rom-com movie for the millionth time, but he will sit beside you because that means that he has a ninety minute excuse to hold you.

He will also pull you into his lap anytime you two are alone. If you don’t want to give him physical affection at night, he’ll just demand more during the day.

Now, if he’s ever feeling under the weather or emotionally exhausted, Erwin doesn’t give two shits about your pillow barrier or imaginary mattress boundary, he’s falling asleep with you pulled as close as possible. And you’ve got a soft spot of the commander, so you allow it. When he’s not feeling 100 percent, it’s your turn to do all the holding. Rub his back, play with his hair— god, just touch him.

All he wants is for you to spend some time with him. And if you throw in some cuddles, he’ll love you forever.

Zeke Yeager:

Definitely the type pretend that he’s above all the gushy, tooth-rotting sweetness of nighttime cuddles. But he’s also the type to send a death glare in your direction when you pull away from him at night.

“Uh... do you want me to stop?”

“Did I say I wanted you to stop??”

He’s stubborn to admit that his favorite part of his day is when you get all clingy at nighttime.

Please, please, please scratch along his jaw and rake your fingers through his beard. This motherfucker will have to bite his tongue from stopping the whimper from escaping his throat.

At nighttime, if you remove his glasses for him so that you can pepper kisses along his face? He’ll melt on the inside.

When the two of you sleep beside each other, Zeke likes to either spoon or have an arm wrapped around you.

Zeke runs a little hotter than most, so if he’s feeling a little too hot at night, he’ll settle with wrapping an arm around your shoulders. Not super close, but close enough to know that you’re there.

Otherwise, Zeke enjoys being the big spoon. He loves to curl his body around yours, his arms wrapped securely around your waist as he nuzzles his nose to the nape of your neck. And yes, he will sleep with his nose buried in your hair for the rest of the night if it means he gets to smell your shampoo.

If he’s particularly stressed, sometimes he awakes during the night to smoke a cigarette. And while he does a pretty good job at crawling out of bed without waking you, you always seem to notice his absence and find him.

If he’s not ready to come back to bed yet, feel free to curl up in his lap and fall asleep with him as your pillow. He’ll finish off his cigarette and hold you for awhile before hauling you both back to bed.

If he’s ready to go back to sleep by the time you find him, he’ll wordlessly stomp out his cigarette and guide you back to bed with his hand resting on the small of your back.

Now regardless of the time of day or night, be careful when cuddling Zeke... he will definitely try to turn it into something more if he’s feeling frisky. He’s always feeling frisky.

Now if you’re tired during the day and in need of a nap, have fun trying to wrangle him onto a couch or bed. This man does not like wasting time, no matter how much he enjoys holding you. But if you’re lucky — and I mean really lucky — Zeke may have the afternoon off and will let you use him as your pillow.

He’ll turn on a nice and mellow record, maybe even smoke a cigarette as you sleep on his chest. Though don’t expect him to stay in one spot for too long, he gets antsy. Like Levi, he likes to feel productive even if the occasional relaxed evening is something he enjoys.

Now, on the rare occasion that Zeke needs a nap, fully expect him to be grumpy. Almost like a child who has gone too long without a nap. Actually, exactly like that.

He will try to steal you away from your activities to help lure him to sleep. Yes, that means petting his hair and scratching his beard until he falls asleep.

But if you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine and tell him that you’re too busy to act as his own personal pillow, expect him to pout for the rest of the day and then get ten times clingier at bedtime. Like I said, Zeke’s stubborn. He will take a nap on the couch in living room instead of your bedroom just to prove to you that he doesn’t need your cuddles in order to fall asleep. But as soon as you both climb into bed for the night, Zeke will be on your like a parasite. Don’t expect to have any say in the cuddling position if you refused him cuddles earlier that day, this is Zeke’s time to get his fill and he gets to choose the sleeping position.

Oh, and just a heads up: Zeke tends to snore in his sleep.

Luckily, it’s not too loud. Just a slightly audible rumble that comes from the back of his throat when he’s totally exhausted. But on occasions, it has woken you up.

But don’t worry, if you use this as leverage it’s more likely that Zeke will cuddle you during your daytime nap... or he’ll just tease you. Maybe both.

And don’t think I won’t go without mentioning that your desire for Zeke’s physical affection doesn’t boost his ego to the max. Oh, he lives for the days that you beg for him to hold you or play with your hair. It awakens something primal and possessive within him, knowing that you need his touch in order to fall asleep soundly. And before you ask, yes, he does tease you and mock you about it at every given chance. My best advice? Give him a taste of his own medicine.

thank you for reading!! if you enjoyed please reblog, it means the world to me and also helps support my blog <33

masterlist | tag list | about | requests: open!!

#zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager x reader #levi ackerman x reader #reiner braun x reader #erwin smith x reader #zeke jaeger #zeke yeager #levi ackerman #reiner braun #erwin smith #aot #attack on titan #aot x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #corrup-fvcker #my writing #self insert #reader insert #GN!reader #cuddling HCs #cuddling headcanons #attack on titan x reader

[windblooms]

liyue boys – how they kiss their s/o

liyue boys × gender-neutral!reader; 1.4k words. sfw headcanons of how baizhu, childe, chongyun, xiao, xingqiu, and zhongli kiss their s/o. 

- ̗̀ baizhu  ̖́-

while baizhu’s reputation as the swindler from bubu pharmacy precedes him, even in normal day-to-day matters, he makes an effort to convey his sincerity to you when the moment is opportune.  typically, this is at the conclusion of the day, when the pharmacy takes its time to rest and the buzz of the moon overtakes liyue.

his touch on your wrist is loose, as if he intends to just feel your presence instead of seize it, to observe but not meddle; just as he does with changsheng, he finds great comfort in keeping you tethered to him through this contact.  

when baizhu romances you, it’s in the privacy of your office, or the stocking room – anywhere besides the service area, so you’re the only one who witnesses his dropped mask. 

his lips glide to your temple, serpentine and brisk, peppering short kisses down to your jaw.  his ministrations are rather sensual for a man so weak in composition, especially considering that he’s rather ruthless with his business dealings and doesn’t even spare a fraction of a discount for the desperate – but this gentler display is nonetheless welcome.

“and how can i help you tonight?  no, this isn’t bartering.  i mean this genuinely, for the one who can tolerate my short-comings as forgivingly as you do.  a new box of qingxin arrived this afternoon, and perhaps you’d like a look at it . . . ”

- ̗̀ childe / tartaglia  ̖́-

childe is excellent at the chase, and each time, his catch is you.  perhaps it’s his constant need for stimulus (he’s never been one for idleness) and the subsequent calling in his blood for a thrill.  his penchant for battle has made him flexible to most tricky scenarios, and thus he’s adept to what makes things tick – 

– including people.  and, of course, you. 

his greetings are customarily followed by doting kisses.  they’re gentle on your skin, like the drifting of snowflakes from the sky, yet there’s a bite to them as well, as if he’s nipping at you even without his teeth.  they’re innocently teasing at best, but at worst, grabbing all of your senses with their bold allure. 

“haha, got your attention now, have i?  no need to make that face!  ah, i promise.  be a bit more patient for me, and i’ll give you what you want.”

he prefers to give the kisses that he knows will consume you whole, cushion you in warmth like beach sand in the summer, but just as swiftly drag you undertow – namely, at the corners of your mouth, the height of your cheekbones, the pulses on your neck, and the rise of your collarbones. 

whether he leaves you with flushed cheeks and a stuttering voice, or absolutely breathless, you stir him all the same.

- ̗̀ chongyun  ̖́-

he’s a very straightforward individual, naively so sometimes – inherently wholesome, and that translates over to his relationship with you.  admittedly, he doesn’t display bold affections towards you all that much because he’s, well, shy.  he’d never thought of romantics before he became involved with you, and even then, all he’s heard about couples and love birds are from xingqiu – not the most trustworthy source.

“ah – i do not . . . i don’t have the words to describe . . . i apologize, but i really don’t know how to explain this light feeling in my chest.  but you seem to be happy!  and that’s really what matters to me.”

chongyun pecks you gently, as if he’s dealing with the finest of jade fragments.  very innocently, as well: just as a bird finds satisfaction in a well-kept nest, so does the young exorcist in the pleased reactions he draws from you.  

the two of you have yet to share a kiss on the lips.  and, honestly, it isn’t something characteristic of chongyun to want to engage with.  he has an ample reserve of boyish youth in him, and even at the thought of partaking in such an intimate act (xingqiu teases him to no end for this, but nonetheless chongyun’s perspective is understood) makes him red in the face. 

instead, he settles for your fingers, the back of your hand, and your cheeks.  light in sentiment, like the mild ice-cream he indulges in.

- ̗̀ xiao  ̖́-

if you’re fire, then xiao is afraid that he’s the water that will extinguish your light.  he’s harmed so many others, even when he never intended to, and doesn’t even want to think about you ending up the same way.  so he abstains, for the longest time, until you reassure him that he’s okay, that he’s suffered enough, and that he needs to live, too. 

xiao kisses you like both of you will break.  his lips barely even touch you, as if his presence is only part of your imagination, a fleeting zephyr in the liyue evening; he even hesitates to use his hands at first because only archons know how he’s razed the land with them.  they hover over your hips, and in moments of indulgence, he imagines how it would feel to hold you, unchained from his past.

“you make it easier for me to tolerate the days.  don’t look so concerned – there’s no need for you to worry about me.  you’re the one in the more precarious situation.  but i guess that’s one more thing that’s admirable about you . . . too trusting for your own good.”

in his mind, he cradles your hands, so much softer than his own, with no reason to raise a weapon.  he wishes to keep you that way, safeguarded from the cruelness of the world, and his lips cherish your knuckles, the backs of your hands, and all the way to your wrists.

- ̗̀ xingqiu  ̖́-

“what a thrilling smile on your face!  definitely one for the books.  yes – i’ve decided that you’ll be the inspiration for this next scene i write.  ah, actually, i need to outline it first . . . you won’t mind, right?  perfect, this is just the circumstance i’ve been looking for.”

like fresh flowers in a spring meadow, he’s as exuberant as he is vibrant with life.  he’ll come to you in the mornings, bid you a good day and plant a light peck on the corner of your mouth, delighted at the sight of you.  or, just when he’s stopping by your place, he’ll also make sure to commemorate your meeting with another smooch.  

xingqiu is, admittedly, easy to please when in a relationship, merely because he’s with who he wants the most: you, and his writing, all that he needs.  while he may joke about intertwining you into his writing, he truly does intend to cherish you. 

he enjoys toying with the sleeves of your top when he’s near, just because he can.  bonus points if you let him tug you along, and he’ll even make a show out of giving a playful kiss on the tip of your nose.  they make you feel all fluttery in your stomach, because it’s only something that he would even think about doing – keeping you light on your toes, just like his flexible poise.

- ̗̀ zhongli  ̖́-

his affections are just as proper as his composure.  zhongli’s actions are soft, reverent, and appreciative of your presence.  never once do you doubt his devotion to you when his hand grazes your arm, a finger catching around your wrist, or when he steadies you with his palm on your shoulder.  it might be subconscious on his behalf, but his gentle measures soothe you immensely.

unsurprisingly, his kisses are chaste, with only fondness and warmth behind them.  he adores you like the sun does an open field, bracing your body to his with the slightest of suggestions from his hands on your waist.  zhongli is exceedingly pleased when you reciprocate his physicality, especially when you wrap your arms around his neck in return – the gleam in his eyes betray just as much.

his lips find themselves tenderly on your own, and your forehead and cheeks.  when in more intimate environments, namely either of your rooms, he’ll worship the pulse on your neck, however not in an erotic fashion.  he only ventures there to treasure the flow of life in your body, to revere the rhythm of you.

“times have come and gone.  consider me obstinate in my beliefs, but the one of the things that have remained apparent to me over millennia are contracts.  contracts of business, of relationships, of morals – everything.  promises, if you prefer to call them.  so i promise you this: there is not a day that will go by when i will not devote myself to you, wholly, and completely.”

#genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #baizhu x reader #chongyun x reader #xingqiu x reader #childe headcanons #childe scenarios #xiao headcanons #xiao scenarios #zhongli headcanons #zhongli scenarios #kai held me at knifepoint for baizhu #chongyun is my son ok #kicked out scara come to my askbox and ask me why #u've heard of zhongli bias now get ready for: xiao bias

[sugar-petals]

♡ physical affection; levi

↳ NOTE. characterizing boyfriend levi, my passion project lmao! with some sexy moments included 👀

WORDS. ⇢ 7k

tags / warnings. ⚠️ smut, fluff, soft sub!levi x female reader, hurt/comfort hc, angst, shower sex, blowjobs + handjobs + boobjobs (yep. spoiling the captain), face-sitting, protected sex, soap kink, season 3-4 setting, no manga spoilers

Ready for a surprise? It’s not really about what kind of skinship he’s extremely selective about and what not. This is only something people would perceive about him at first glance. Instead, it comes down to how emotionally sheltered he feels. Because of his experiences, that predicates everything else. Which is why Levi’s sexuality is as complex as it is.

But also, in its sudden perfect expression once a person gives him a different perspective: That’s the time when he is touchier. The more in private, the better. The lights down low, with only a candle or two shining from another room. Broad daylight brings the harsh truths and the shaking ground. Nighttime is when Levi feels more intimate and open to caress, down his back and arms, the shoulders, the side of his neck. Done with extreme gentleness, and all of your deep respect.

If you offer him an environment of trust, Levi is open to almost anything and would even magically doze off in your arms for a little while. Breathing softly, resting for the first time in weeks, the brows becoming less tense the deeper he sleeps. You asking if you can stroke his hair (carefully, not messing it up or anything) is something he can’t say no to. The closet romantic in him will fulfill you any reasonable wish as soon as you’d ask anyway.

We know how receptive the captain is to a request, and how much there can be a soft spot for somebody in his heart. If you’re forward enough to just ask, Levi sets himself that goal and opens up. He is diligent with it just as you’d expect. That especially includes the things he says are „absolute horseshit nonsense“ and „disgusting, useless activities“ when reacting to newly formed couples kissing in the survey corps at the other end of the room. Is he a hypocrite and a hater? Actually— not at all.

Levi is a raised rather than born skeptic. Between courage and care, he is always gonna be torn. Both didn’t work in his favor at some point. But at the end of the day, he fears recklessness more than being cautious. Looking at these couples, he knows that they could lose each other the very next day. Or hell, the next hour. Not everybody has 200 titan kills. 

Not everybody is a physically indestructible Ackerman destined and designed to escape death and outlive others whether they want it or not. And showing themselves this vulnerable out in the open is even more dangerous considering all the political intrigues, chaos, attacks, and espionage going on.

When he’s scoffing at skinship in the survey corps, it’s not his intent to ruin the couples and their little happiness in the present moment (nothing he sees as more tragically precious), or say only he can have a relationship because he’s strong enough to make it survive. If anything, Levi is the prime example of how all his connections were doomed exactly because of his status pulling in all the danger. He very well and painfully knows.

What I mean is: He sees the brutality of consequences that can create more misery than if two people would just go about their business. Levi already dreads that the same might happen to him. But after all, the behavior of others is easier to rectify than his own undeniable feelings for you. Which he cannot control in any way, which is why he reacts to others instead. Looking at other people holding hands, he’s also afraid how dabbling in love is a distraction from threats that can even backfire on uninvolved others if someone is suddenly in harm’s way.

Levi does associate physical touch with something that takes an otherwise observing mind off when it shouldn’t be. To him, it creates something so valuable that can become an unintended burden through all kinds of circumstances, he’s seen it all, it’s terrible he had to. And the reason why he has such a torn relationship with it. You really have to know your stuff to build a resilient little bubble where Levi is not constantly hypervigilant and either past- or future-focused.

Which is pretty damn hardwired into him. It’s almost impossible to bring on that kind of atmosphere spontaneously. It has to be ritualized. His intelligence comes with the downside of overthinking and having problems with spontaneous romance, it’s good to direct his thought into something that’s always done in a specific, structured way. You sit down with tea, put the candles on, Levi finishes cleaning his weapons, makes everything combat-ready and usable in seconds, and you carefully lay down on his impeccably made bed together.

Which he never uses, Levi sleeps in chairs. Or on the ground, so he can feel any titan steps in the distance with his whole body, using the cleanest possible mat or towel as a mattress and nothing else. The bed he basically just makes to have it neat, and for you, and to have a spot to lay together. 

But yeah. He will never remove his harness. Not even when you’re sleeping with each other. He’s not once gonna risk having to put it on in a hurry. The only time you will be skin to skin with him is for not even five minutes under the shower. It’s when his cleanliness beats his anxiety around being always ready, which is why that’s a time to fully cherish.

And then, he really has no qualms about you wrapping your hands around his soap-covered torso in the shower anyway. It’s the only time his inner default germaphobe is not vehemently screaming inside his already heavy heart. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, this is about his demons only, confronted with the immense relief you give him. If the latter wins over his mind’s struggle, Levi might draw out the shower time sometimes.

The other voice that tells him ‚don’t make it end so soon’ is now finally convincing him. He will dial down the water stream so he can hear what’s going on outside better to compensate, to know if there’s any ruckus or approaching hazards. Levi has instructed a fast runner among the cadets to bang on the front door under any critical circumstances immediately in the first place.

Levi says he wants to save water, too. He won’t admit it, but he also turns the showerhead to a medium pressure to hear your calm, almost-quiet moans — the barracks have terribly thin walls — better when you’re sucking him off. Slowly, smoothly, not too much spit. Folded towel under your knees because Levi insists, and he is right. The showers in the survey corps have uncomfortable floor tiles. 

He makes sure you won’t get soap in your mouth as well, I don’t have to tell you that he is very circumspect. Levi isn’t usually feeling overly heated in moments like this, but he gets hard and releases fast. You swear his cum tastes like afternoon tea with milk but you won’t tell him that. And who doesn’t like tea and Levi’s homemade milk, no complaints alright.

What’s still a shame is that Levi, always being in such a constant hurry and alertness, puts too much stress on his body for him to become horny all the way. In fact, he often forgets it. He feels numb, and can’t fully take in the sensations. Levi has not been able to feel a lot of genuine pleasure in his life. 

A racing mind is an absolute sex killer, and his adrenaline spikes are so high in combat that most normal things don’t do anything for him. Which is why he brews his tea extra strong. But seriously: It’s a concerning thing. And it tells you to take your time. With his whole body, doing the things he loves the most. And what else could that be? It’s straightforward: Keepin’ it clean.

You make sure that Levi feels extra comfortable by thoroughly massaging his loins and thighs with a sponge during foreplay. Yes, you’re gently working him up. All in circles and light brushing motions. Lots of soap. Suave and bubbly, like silk on his skin. It’s handmade, with oat milk, lavender, and honey. For your honey. You regularly gift a new one to him to try out scents and have supply. You can guess how much Levi appreciates it, to the moon and back in fact. The present box is neatly stored on his office table where he can always see it.

Sending out its balmy fragrance throughout the day, making the room smell amazingly aromatic to him. His nose will never grow tired or accustomed to it. Levi puts the soapbox in a drawer within literal split seconds when someone who isn’t you enters the room. „Tsk, announce yourself when you knock…“ That could even be the newest recruit who doesn’t know anything at all about the place and people. But this is just a you and him thing.

Levi doesn’t want nosy questions from the squad even though nobody would probably even notice the soap laying there in its case, much less ask him about it or the fresh scent in the air because duh, it’s Levi’s office. But it feels absolutely personal for him — so he reacts sensitively about it. This man would probably protect your lavender soap with his blades if he had to. 

The captain is very secretive about your relationship in general. Who on earth would go as far as buy him a new scented bar of joy bi-weekly? At this point, he would crawl on hot coals, needles, lava, ice shards, desert sand, and a mile-long straight of legos (laid out by a maniacally laughing Zeke personally) for you.

Although you wouldn’t allow any of it. Nothing should ever hurt those kitty paws, I mean captain hands and captain feet. You’d put Zeke on blast on your own, luring him with a banana to confuse his senses and then, whack, homerun the monkey into the ocean with Levi’s bristle broom. Problem solved. Anyway.

 Levi wouldn’t hurt himself willingly that way either, the ice shards don’t stand a chance. He has sworn to protect his own life out of self-respect, to honor those passed by living on bravely toward the goal they worked for and being the one always coming home to you. You can rely on him.

So enough about gleaming hot coals and Zeke’s evil legos, back to the point — you already get what I mean. Levi might seem totally grumpy on the outside, but for sure is a devoted man, a caliber as always. He takes all of your presents to heart and is unbelieving as to why he’d be deserving of so much. You prove a point using the gifts as regularly as possible on his body. Where he can feel every bit of your fondness of him. And remember it with muscle memory. Oh shit, this soap does smell so good. As anything on him, who are we kidding.

Dousing Levi with all your attention is the best thing ever. He feels great relaxing with you, and his face softens up. He’s looking at you with a tiny smile in response to you whispering sweet things to him, all while you’re using the sponge on his legs, the chest, and ever-tense back that can definitely use some alleviation. „Thank you for cleaning me“ has got to be the best thing ever to hear from Levi Ackerman. It means the entire world to him. Captain, your mommy kink is showing. His arousal increasing is a natural side effect in no time.

Recently, you’ve been slipping his cock between your breasts as well, and it’s been slowing him down a lot after an eventful mission. While at the same time making him more in the moment, he really enjoys you gradually lathering him up like that. The feeling of skin on skin is amazing. It might be something that… often crosses his mind when he trains during the day, but he can blend it out for the important things. Until you do it all over again, and he ruminates about how much you turn him on until the sun rises.

You also never do a blowjob hands-free. Why would you, anyway? His body is amazingly buff and compact, you want to hold onto those gorgeous lil’ hips and his own hands that need a fair share of holding after carrying the world. You feel him twitching on your tongue when you run either hand over his ass and abs, making sure to trace across all his most erogenous spots there. What’s more: Levi feels really protected and soothed when he feels your palms on him under the streaming water, he can’t explain it.

That's why you like doing shower handjobs just as much. I don’t have to tell you that Levi really delights in them as well and his poker face regularly cracks a bit. His eyes fixate on you, you can tell the connection and involvement. He thinks your fingertips are heavenly, a welcome change to his rugged days. 

He loves how softly they tease and stimulate him with the smallest movements and subtle presses. Yes, Levi doesn’t like rough action, those are vulnerable moments. He has enough brutality elsewhere, violently jerking him off and insulting him would be entirely inappropriate and even scare him.

He’d probably brush your wrists off right away, it’d be so uncomfortable in the silence of the evening. A tender chain of kisses on the nose tip, chin, collar bone, and especially forehead gets him going a lot more. The more chaste and doting the kiss, the more he melts on the inside. 

His anxiety baseline goes down, and he feels like he can let you in. However you guide him and however you choose to indulge him with your lips, Levi is on board, quietly enjoying. Since it’s something that he’s still feeling so new to, leaving you the active role comes naturally.

Stroking him with a deep pace, carefully brushing your lips against his to give him goosebumps — Levi definitely grows into that. In those moments, he really feels taken care of, in safe hands, hands that will stay with him. He’s gonna be surprised just how good something like this feels many times. And be overwhelmed by pleasure to the point where it almost frightens him, he didn’t have that a lot until now.

The satisfaction of a spotless table simply does not compare. Just so you know: He will either be dead silent or mumble under his breath nonstop. That he is okay with you touching him below the belt and even take him in your mouth tells you how much Levi trusts you, how much he knows you love him, and how meticulously he’s already scrubbed and shaved himself beforehand. Yes, the sheer preparation. He puts a lot of work into his body. He couldn’t stand you becoming dirty.

That’s also why the shower is the place oral goes down. And even there, he uses like ten cleaning products to double rinse the stall and himself before and after. Mind you. He sees you eating healthy, brushing your teeth well. Your lips are very beautiful and a masterpiece of nature to him. So it’s not you who he thinks is dirty. Levi is pretty damn paranoid about his own skin and hygiene. If only he would think about himself the way he thinks of your body.

He feels like he has to earn it, be acceptable, and prepare himself endlessly to enjoy touch. Even then, he thinks he must be ugly and revolting. You have to respect him fussing about it rather than forcing him to cut down on his routines. You don’t criticize his perfectionism and see the motivation behind it. So instead, you reassure Levi your own way.

The more he sees you having fun and enjoying his body, the more accepted, confident, and clean he feels. Most people would like to see their partner play up the enthusiasm obviously (unless you have a ‚hiding his amazement’ emo boy kink, which is exactly why you like Levi don’t cha), but it’s particularly meaningful to Levi. Guess why he looks up to Armin’s mentality, and Hange is one of the few people who truly vibe with Levi.

She’s easily amused, dedicated, swooning, excited, and constantly eager. Levi does appreciate a bit of zeal in someone. If you’re a little ardent about touching him, it’ll give his esteem a boost he’s long needed, oh god. Nobody has the guts to praise this guy like that, even if he’s so extremely good-looking. Don’t let him off the hook there. Give him feedback, you’ll be surprised how much it resonates.

It’s already apparent to yourself how keen you are being touchy with him, hell, you’re so in love. Still, it’s a good idea to give him an idea how stoked you are. He doesn’t like it fast and brutally raw without a second thought, but passionate is a whole other debate. A simple „Levi, stay like this, let me do it“ or „Levi, you smell so good“ works wonders. Say what you think and his ease will set in. And I don’t have to tell you that you won’t look like sex is a chore anyway. With Levi, that’s an honor and a pleasure.

That he puts his faith in you and gives you his time is already a massive deal and goes against everything we know of him, what he’s used to, and how his avoidant personality works, being so ridden with losses. And it’s all because of how much you desire and approach him. That’s what it comes down to. 

Even if he’d suffer decades from yearning, he’d not go out of his way to kickstart something, never ever. He’d feel like he’d cause you so much trouble. You wanting him so badly and treating his body like a treasure on the other hand changes his mind.

It proves him wrong all the way. There is still time to enjoy love, the chance is now. Anything else would plague Levi with solitude and self-pity all over again. And the feeling of missing you around in his rooms. Two teacups on the table until he grows old and grey are his ideal of a good life, after all. He will open himself to your emotional and physical presence, realizing how touch-starved he is, and how much it improves his life to have someone to kiss and lay down next to at night.

The even breath at the back of his neck gives him a sense of finally someone sticking around with him side by side, even if he’s gone during the day. It feels good and right to be wanted by you, and nuzzling his face into your cotton dress. Your commitment gives him the little smiles and the silver lining he’s been searching for. He can’t label that feeling, but it’s joy of life and humankind, more than just a willingness for it. He would stay forever pained and bitter if he wouldn’t invite it in now, and you won’t waste that chance with being silent.

You’re attracted to everything about him, tell him, make him aware. The voice, the hair, the mannerisms, his height, his abilities, his mind, his care for others, the posture, how soft his cheeks are, the list is endless. Levi won’t miss how much he’s your type at some point. Which gives him a lot of ease, comfort. You show him that his inferiority complex was an entire smokescreen in his mind. 

He fucking deserves to be called handsome. And by the way — you can lust over him as much as you want when he’s made that time window for your couple stuff. It’s good if you make it as obvious as possible for him. Which is hard to hide anyway. You’ve been masturbating over Levi just sitting there sternly writing something. And he’s like why, and you’re like, it’s you! Look at you!

Levi does want you to touch his skin all over but it’s always sore. And he remains insecure on many days. So he only has particular comfortable spots in the first place. Since hardly anybody dares to touch him, and even if he pats someone’s shoulder nobody would ever be courageous enough to reciprocate, you would feel a bit like a lab scientist. Silently theorizing over him at first even if you really don’t have to. Other people say they’d rather run towards a titan than expose themselves to Levi’s moods, swords, and barking tone after trying to caress him in any way.

News flash, Levi has had such terrible moods since forever because there’s no affection coming to him from anywhere just because people decided he might not need it. And no, he won’t yell at you for touching. He finds it very sweet of you instead. Touching Levi always creates an occasion that will float around in his head for the entire day, that’s guaranteed. He sees how someone goes out of their way and cares for his well-being. He might not like it like standing in the middle of the whole corps, but anywhere else is fair game, at home anyway.

The pressure of dealing with threats he can manage to a degree, and he has lord how many coping strategies. The lack of love he cannot. Big difference that everybody seems to confuse. On top of how he has to be unrelenting in his position because battlefield and the Yeagers being a pain. Most people — except maybe Armin — see that as a closedness to touching altogether. 

The whole world seemingly can't intuit Levi’s craving of gentleness behind the arguably pretty convincing armor, but still. It seems like only a few souls ever think about the Levi that sits down on his bed in the evening completely depleted. You have to make it clear to yourself and him that it’s obviously a one-dimensional way of looking at Levi Ackerman and not good for him.

Which has covertly shaped how he interacts with others in return like a vicious spiral, which is why he blames solely himself for his depravation. And, how severe and untouchable the circumstances made his character. Yes, Levi despises himself for being inaccessible and unable to change it on top, added to how it happened to him over the years. 

Which he had pretty much zero influence on being basically at the gunpoint of life. It’s what you hate seeing the most and comfort him about with brewing tea. It definitely comes back tenfold, Levi won’t take it for granted when you brush out his hair and speak soothingly to him in the evening. „I don’t care, those are all reasons why you’re the apple of my eye“ seems to be what makes Levi’s heart a little mushy in particular.

He is very preoccupied with blame at the start of your relationship. Levi is torn apart by daily guilt and a constantly looming perception of failure to show an opening to his heart. He also crumbles under how the majority of people don’t take him seriously, overreact, or fear he snaps back into soldier mode — he doesn’t — when he does show affection. 

That you gaze behind his reputation and touch him without prejudice is the most important thing to him. You can ignore his mad and gloomy expression, Paradis has carved it into his face for half an eternity (the other half is for you and him when this is over). It doesn’t mean he’s angry on the inside about you. The causes for his madness are way elsewhere, knowing his early story it goes without saying. What made Levi callous and broken-hearted are things very opposite to you.

Those who only see and enjoy his fighting personality probably want him as their poster boy, people who are reflected enough to bother with the idea of a private, cuddling Levi are the only truly caring ones. Because private Levi needs that physical and emotional connection the most. Patting his cadets on their heads is only a little, albeit meaningful moment. The teacup is still half-empty regardless if you wanna think of it in those terms.

Because he can only do so much in terms of initiative — which already shocks people to the point of paralysis, which ruins the moment since he assumes it’s not appreciated then — and it’s only one-sided. Giving isn’t fully making him happy even if it’s his only option given how most people perceive him. 

The teacup only fills to the brim if Levi can let go for like half an hour getting some good ole kitty on your lap treatment. He silently lays there and enjoys your hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He looks genuinely peaceful that way. His hand palms gently at your thigh and knee, and rests there all tranquil while he ruminates about his day and how lucky he is to have you.

The whole ‚theorzing rather than going for it‘ thing stems from you listening to those people a bit too much at the beginning. Instead of asking Levi directly about touch, and to be fair: Not a single human being has done that yet, you try to figure him out at a distance. Which is also a good thing though. 

You learn about many Levi habits others would overlook, misinterpret, or don’t think have any meaning. The more you learn about him, the more understanding you become, the more protective you will be, the less he will avoid intimacy. Because Levi really doesn’t want to shy away, but often his body has too much memory in it to be instantly receptive. So it rather starts with the mind, then.

The irony is. Levi rejecting bonds with others as not to have them weigh heavy on his mind when fighting will only make it worse. You make a statement to him that if he fully immerses himself in what you have, he can fight better and actually be without those godforsaken regrets he’s always talking about. That’s why when you’re having sex, you make him look in your eyes and kiss their lids, and wrap your legs around him very firmly because Levi has to know he’s deeply yours. 

Hugs, the same thing. You squeeze the last curse out of him every time and tell him to hold you tight as well. You do have to tell him twice. Just because Levi is the strongest man in history, doesn’t mean he embraces very roughly. In fact, Levi is not used to this at all. Even more irony. Paradis’ ever-swearing, most badass titan killer with the physical excellence of a hundred acrobats can’t execute the simple act of putting his arms around you in a normal, casual way.

The why is the harder thing to talk about. Last time he got proper, truly loving hugs was way over 20 years ago. From Kuchel, during a time where he was too young to remember these things long-term. Let that sink in. It confuses him when he does it and even more so when others do. Kissing Historia’s hand even as a light official gesture was already completely unusual for him and a first time. 

Levi doesn’t go beyond what he sees others doing in that regard. No extra miles, just imitating. Now think of him with something as big a deal as embracing his lover for minutes. He lets his arms just hang there and you gotta make him learn how to intertwine fingers or how to press his palms on your back. You’re the one holding him tight there, while Levi’s mind and stare go blank, he’s even more speechless and perplexed after confronting his uncle back then.

I’m not kidding. You have to ask Levi to be forthcoming with those things as well, it simply does not occur to him, and he’s unsure about everything there is to it. What a loveless world this guy is in. If it already frustrates you to see him struggle, imagine how deprived he must be. One of his inner blocks is, Levi has major jealousy of guys who are what he thinks a better hugging height. It’s obviously the other way around to anybody who’d be in love with Levi. 

Of course he has the best hugging height by far. What’s not to like? He’s ideal. But in his perspective, imagine all these people above him wrapping around each other in moments of enthusiasm, shoulder-level on shoulder-level, or only with slight differences. And when it comes to him, it feels awkward because they feel strange bending down only for him and Armin.

And that’s probably the issue. Because it’s much better not to bend and try and intertwine, but just have Levi bury his face into your winter coat without a hassle. You don’t have to be perfectly chest to chest to make it work. Besides… romantic hugs are always a bit different. And, you invite Levi to do exactly that with you. Since Levi’s pet peeve is politeness, you’ll also have to show him the difference between mere courtesy and love, he hasn’t fully learned it either. 

But just so you know. Levi is not a naive baby or raging bull in a china shop once he has given his love to someone. He observes well, adapts well. When it’s heartfelt, when it’s the right moment, it comes out almost by surprise, he’s feeling it and he will respond to you. With serenity and intent.

If there’s someone who can be unpretentious with physicality, that’s him. He just has to transfer that to romantic gestures and Levi will be the perfect lover after some time. He’ll end up like, „Eh, so what. We do this hugging thing!“ — Hilarious. Levi, knowing his battle tactics, does have a sort of innate courage to approach bodies: This time, it’s about someone he wants to give pleasure and gratitude to, though. Which will feel very different. 

And you’re a lady he’s all whipped for, that changes everything. He might sort of try to lean at the wall next to you, to murmur about you kissing him after eating cake so he’s full of crumbs „and now I have to dust it all off again, hmph“, but he is not prepared for another kiss and you tickling him pinned against the wall (he’s not ticklish, but you still love it, and Levi has a thing for you being all over him despite his stoic face).

So yeah, Levi will be super grumpy and do the „Oi oi!“ thing, but also turn around so you won’t see the blush. Man, is he embarrassed. He will try to waddle away awkwardly to do paperwork, but no chance if you tug him back by the sleeve, dust off his shirt from crumbs, and squeeze his cheeks into a perfect Levi snoot. I’m telling you, he has a nice pouty face. 

He might assume that you’re out of your mind because nobody has done that with him yet, but once you tell him that you just wanna look at him because every day might be the last, he sees the point of your antics. Merely saying you kiss him just because won’t make sense to the captain, it’s gotta have a purpose for the future.  

So, you will tell him to always remember what your soothing lips do on him before he draws the blade tomorrow, and that he has plenty of filthy crumbs to come home to. „I think that’s right by what we’ve seen today“ is what he’ll admit, and carries you off to the bed to get grinding because all that stuff made him kinda turned on. Or rather, you grind, Levi on the other hand gets flustered. He complains about you being a tease at length since he’s having a huge she-pinned-me-to-the-wall boner. 

You sit on his face to take it even further and as his favorite treat, end of discussion, your goddess is here mister. Geez, you’ll make him a hot mess. That dick won’t go soft anytime soon. You’ll talk to him about when his face is already ruined with cake crumbs, he has nothing to lose, gotta clean up anyway. The grumbling noise from below tells you that the argument is a good one. For good measure, you palm at his trousers to see his legs react and his voice suddenly hitch. Ah, it’s a wonderful day.

Levi knows a thing or two about holding his breath correctly, but what he likes the most is that he feels perfectly sandwiched between thigh Rose and thigh Maria. Yeah, he does consider them his personal comfort walls and hopes they’ll always be there. Congruently, Levi wraps his arms around them, in fact it’s locking rather than wrapping, and you’re like I see wow he’s serious. 

On goes his tongue lapping away between your labia pretty much incessantly. The arousal is so intense, you have to breathe in yourself. Oh shit, Levi is gonna try to finish you off, shots fired. Not fast, but insisting. He does not bother with you panting pretty damn hard whatsoever. He’s calling people like that, but Levi might be the real brat all along.

Fair enough, he currently doesn’t hear anything, which he also loves the idea of. All day, people everywhere are talking nonsense, and now he gets to enjoy perfect silence. His ears are small, they’re easy to cover with thighs. He just goes on and on and gets you past lord how many brinks with a heated buildup. 

There are a lot of evil things Mister Zeke has said and committed, but by far the most offending thing he has yet insinuated is that Levi is not popular with the ladies. Blasphemy, treason, outrage, éclat, trickery, criminal offense, international slander, the most grueling case of fake news since the horse left the building, and no, Jean is not meant. With those oral skills, any lady interested in him would get a permanently bleeding nose and something else permanently wet as you can personally attest to.

If Paradis would even remotely know what he can do in bed (and they would if Connie told them, he lives next door), even more people would run down his house than they already do to get a piece of him. Jesus Christ, the Ackerstamina. But I mean. People are probably suspecting it. 

How can you not move like a god in bed if you can bend yourself into any Pythagorean shape mid-air. Him being a fighter also gives him experience with managing energy when you have sex, I’m not kidding. Levi can even handle you thrusting right back on his tongue, and even your jokes about how he’s getting the cream to his tea now.

Levi is already kind of dripping in juice. His fingers are sweaty, this time it’s something on his face and hands he prefers though. He won’t wipe it off just yet. So you take on the task to put a condom on him — kind of expensive, mysteriously imported, gotta make every one count my friend — and have Levi take you from behind to soil the bedsheets completely at this point. 

Levi lets all the leaking happen, of course he notices, and yet he’s too focused on you gripping his cock hard all the way. So much for walls. Levi has to surrender to the thought of you squeezing him in any way you fancy at this point. That doesn’t just include the face, that much he learned. His cock is gonna fall off, you tighten up so much and make him squirm, Levi’s all blissed out.

He can’t handle your ass either. He just stares like the Founding Titan invented a brand new method to hypnotize the Ackermans or something. Although. Why’d you need to come up with something, though? People they love completely enthrall them already. 

If we know something by now, it's that every Ackerman gets completely fucked in the head out of the blue and sent to another dimension when they’re with the love of their life, no hypnotizing device needed. Levi is clasping his teeth for his dear life back there. People asking him if he’s gone mad he’d answer ‚maybe‘, but if you asked him if this made him lose it he would admit it.

Since he doesn’t know what to do with his hands again, you ask him to place them at your waist. „Properly, now slide in, Levi.“ — He takes his time for the first few thrusts, grunts, but gets the hang of it, in fact he’s a pro in the making. All that vertical maneuvering can turn into horizontal maneuvering very quickly. Levi feels so strange and so good at the same time, it’s overwhelming. How can something he thought would be so dirty be this amazing? 

And since this position allows him to penetrate you even deeper, Levi gets the full experience of being inside of you times two. The wet noise already turns him on, his body feels so warmed up, and he feels really shocked he’s doing this. Although his face won’t show, it’ll be concentrated as before. On the inside, Levi is losing it.

He can’t get enough of your body and how you tell him what to do, Levi will be driving it home in no time. You’re gonna have your jaw dropped by how lusty he can get yourself, but also love how he’s really breaking a sweat just because of your hard grip. Who would have thought. 14-meter class titans got nothing on you. Levi’s entire neck and chest is glazed over. You call him out on it, all you’re gonna get is a little ‚tch, that’s your fault, woman‘. I mean of course it is. He’s literally at your mercy. I told you he’s hilarious.

Little did you know that Levi will straight-up ignore his sweatiness and just continue, one heartbeat at a time, to really fill you out and make you feel good. Can you imagine. Levi dedicating like 20 minutes to make sweet love to you doggystyle. 

He has a good feeling for keeping you just on the verge of cumming. He even reaches around to press two fingers into your clit after five minutes of figuring out his angles. You didn’t expect this at all. It’s as if Levi can read your mind going „but his hands are gonna get really messy, why?“ — he just goes on rubbing and says, deadpan: „Miss, do I look like I care.“

Some dirty things in the world are just there to annoy him. They’re not existing to make his life easier. And toilet humor-related things: We know Levi’s stance on that. Wet pussy on the other hand: Surprise. He thinks of it very differently. Levi is pretty caught off guard by the fact that you loving and adoring him is the reason you’re leaking so much. 

It sinks in (um, literally) that you’re all drippy because you really want him inside. Not to mention that he constantly realizes just how attracted to him you are. Your desire for him, that’s Ackerman kryptonite. Levi doesn’t miss your eyes, nope. That motherfucker is a damn good face reader.

And— How warmed up your body feels in his hands, how you’re breathing. How you’re telling him exactly how to tilt to hit the good spots. How you’re sucking in air when he does just that. How you sound, grip the pillow, the sheets. Your goosebumps all over your legs. How your lips part. How you wait for every thrust. The way you tell him how good it is. Your pulse. Your own sweaty back, letting his hands on your waist slip and slide a little with the rhythm. 

How he’s struggling not to moan his soul out and chokes back. How you’re softly moving to glide off, he’s gonna lose his mind. How much you’re enjoying him and how cute you tell him he is. Whatever you’d ask of him, he’s so ready to fulfill it. You having the absolute hots for Levi is probably gonna preoccupy him for the whole night while you’re sleeping and he sits in the chair.

He’s been shooting grumpy cat level eye daggers with extra Ackerpoison at the corps couples for walking around showing any signs of this. Making all those lovey-dovey faces or going to the back of the barn together. Levi has chased them with his favored broom to whoop-diddly-doop those horndog soldiers back on track, swirling his weapon of choice around to send a sweeping cloud of dust after them.

Whereas now… he has to deal with the fact that he really loves all that horny stuff. Cognitive dissonance 101 is striking him out of nowhere. I mean he’d not fuck in the barn, that one is truly disgustingly shittily bastardly filthy or however he’d word it, but you get the gist. He caught feelings and caught pleasure — and that’s such a good thing.

His problem is, Levi wouldn’t know how to fawn right back at you. Except saying „good job“ like he’d praise a cadet, but he decides that’s not something to say during sex. He’s very right about that indeed. So instead: He will always reply to you accordingly and with Levi-typical honesty. 

If you say you love how he kisses your neck from behind, he will tell you he’s enjoying it as well because damn he loves that spot indeed (titans can tell you a story about it… Levi has such a neck fixation, that fucker). And: Letting actions speak the loudest with him. He’s a practical guy. Levi’s hands can to the most complicated reverse grips and all that crazy human Beyblade shit. Getting you off at his fingertips is gonna be his easiest exercise ever once he gets into it.

He doesn’t even do it to show off at this point. Levi is just that kind of a sex machine and eager to please, not to mention god, is he obedient and a giver in disguise. If Levi were offered the most luxurious, expensive tea available versus your breasts to suck on for a week given he’s free of titan duty… that cup is gonna turn cold. He loves the skinship and he loves giving you a fuckton of orgasms, as many as you like and as many he has time for.

Self-explanatory, this is something he will not feel one bit of regret about. Hours touching you is the farthest from wasting time to Levi. The less he holds back with his love, the more secure things become. He doesn’t feel the misery he thought he’d run into, nor does it feel like a reckless act that’s only something feeble. 

The new soap every other week on his table alone reminds him you’re here to stay and like his every quirk, and make this a private thing rather than something to parade around. You never lied saying „Levi, you’re mine.“ He does wrap his head around the fact that all of this is happening with time.

Levi finds your relationship meaningful because it gives him feelings and exactly that emotional harbor he never had before, and he gifts you the reverence of your lifetime since Levi doesn’t half-ass anything. You reassured and guided him so much, he looks up to that, it breaks down his prejudice against loving more and more. That’s how you’ll feel intimate in all kinds of ways for very intense hours he can spare to make the most out of it. 

From the light touch at his arm to making out until the candles burn down. And if you tell Levi to sell the deal and dedicate his heart, how can he not take that as a serious order. He has to be guarded to put his guard down, and that’s what you can offer him, and he will create something lasting out of it. Promise is promise to him, we all know.

RELATED:  sub!levi hc (tea shop au) | life after war (levi’s happy end)

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