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beebubb · 3 years

Note

I read your LJ and will headcanons and i really love them! Can you perhaps make some headcanons of when LJ had to take care of baby william? Like how would he treat him when he hated him and then when he actually grew to like him?

Ahhhhhh!!! Yessss!!! I'm gonna make this a post of LJ taking care or will from newborn to now

LJ taking care of william grossman headcanons (childhood all the way to now) + a bit of will's back story

Will as a baby

Will was assigned to LJ before will was even born

So while everyone was celebrating the pregnancy, LJ was just pissed

"GODDAMNIT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T USE PROTECTION!!"

no one could hear or see him obviously, so he could say what ever he wanted

He just look at the dad be like "i bet that brat isn't even yours!"

He would just DREAD the day will was finally born

When will was born, and his mom finally came back home with will in her arms, was when he finally met him

".....he looks exactly like fucking isaac goddamnit!!!!"

He wouldn't take care of will and could care less about him

He would appear to will whenever he was alone in the nursery room and just say the meanest things to him or just hate anything will did

".....you're the cum shot your mom should have swallowed...."

"can you shut the fuck up?!?"

*carrying him* "go to hell you annoying waste of space"

"i wish I could take your eye out like I did to your fucking grandpa....."

"you know I can gut you whenever I feel like it"

Or just make dark jokes

"i can knock all your teeth over just like isaac! Wait, you don't have any! Hahaha!!"

LJ doesn't admit but, when he was watching over will, he just started crying, he was just so overwhelmed by everything, especially knowing he was stuck with his enemy's grandkid "i hate that i'm stuck with you!!! Why the fuck would you even want me?!? You're just going to abandon me just like your damn grandfather!!!"

With time though, he started growing fond of him

Will was really close to LJ. He would just smile to him, laugh, grab his pointy nose, and even if jack rarely carried him, you know those feathers jack has on his shoulders? Will would immediatly fall asleep with those

Once LJ was a bit more ready to care for him, was when he actually started trying

"Alright, i'm your guardian! I hate it! But if i'm stuck with you, i'm going to raise you MY way!"

"I'm the one protecting you so you BETTER say my name as your first word, got it?"

It took him a bit to warm up to him but it eventually came along

Will was a cuddly baby, so he loved to sleep on LJ's shoulder and grab his nose

"let go of my nose before I kill you"

When he was finally attached to will, he was acting more of a parent than anyone.

He would hate it if someone didn't take proper care of him

"you're holding him wrong!"

"he doesn't like to be held like that!"

"you're supposed to put 2 scoops of formula! Not 1!!"

"goddamnit I'm doing most of the work here!!!"

"if yall wanted a kid you should atleast know to care for it!"

Will's first word was JJ.

It was his attempt at saying LJ

"holy shit!!! That's not my name but it's close!! I knew it!!"

His mom and dad saw it as insignificant and thought it was just those weird baby noises that babies make

But LJ knew what he meant and was more happy than ever

"he likes me more!! In your face assholes!!"

Will as a toddler

LJ was there for his first words, so he was also there for will's first steps

Will was also a very energetic kid, and once he started crawling and walking, it was more chaos for his parents

They had to baby proof a lot of things

But LJ could keep up with his energy, and sometimes even tire him

Though there was this one time when will called him "daddy" and his dad thought he was calling him but actually, he was talking to LJ

Many think that LJ might hate to be called that sense well, you know, he hates children, but he honestly didn't know how to feel. He was a bit surprised, a bit happy, and confused

He didn't deny it, it was just like

Toddler will: daddy! Daddy!

LJ: um....uh... Lets keep playing ok?

LJ loved will and was happy to care for him and pretty much the hate he had towards him was pretty much gone but, he didn't really know how to feel

He let it slide but will called him that a lot

LJ would get a bit emotional sometimes but he would just try to ignore it and keep playing with will

Or he would just slightly smile

Will as a kid (4-11)

Will was now more aware and way more energetic

Which was more fun for LJ

Will didn't have many friends, except for LJ

Even if he was happy and energetic, will was a shy child at school.

Also he didn't play with anyone except jack

The teachers thought that will was weird and called his parents a lot

The teachers would always say stuff like "he doesn't play with any of the other children, and talks alone like if he were talking with someone else especially someone he says is called" jack", is everything OK at home? Have you seen a family psychologist?"

Will was actually taken to a few therapy sessions but he wasn't diagnosed with any mental illnesses. So people just assumed that will just had a really active imagination and that jack was just an imaginary friend

Though will being "weird" just meant he was gonna be an easy target to get bullied

But jack wouldn't let that happen. He wouldn't let some asshole kids ruin will's childhood

Sometimes when the kids would go to the bathroom or just go to the hallway to the drinking fountain, he would scare them by turning the lights on and off

Or he would even follow them home and would make his claw like hands appear from inside their closets or under their beds.

Sometimes he would even grab their legs which would terrify the kids

They soon stopped bothering will because "jack will come and get you!"

So will had a pretty good childhood thanks to Jack sense he would protect him of pretty much everything

When will was in kindergarden they had arts and crafts, he would sometimes draw his mom and his dad together but mostly his drawings were of jack

The teachers thought the parents were irresponsible because lets say that sometimes will's drawing were a bit graphic or creepy and they thought that it was because will watched too much horror movies

Teacher: what are you drawing, William?

Will: it's Jack and I!

Teacher: oh that's nice! But.. What.. What are you doing with Jack?

Will: We're using the stuff inside the guy's belly to make balloon animals! *keeps drawing* jack said that I'll be a killer when I grow up!

Jack was just a proud clown guardian

Jack's prized possession was a drawing that will made of the two of them. It just made him feel really appreciated. Also he encouraged will to play with the kids but will just preferred LJ

LJ: you know that you can play with the other kids right?

Will: i don't want to! I don't like the other kids! I want to be with you, you're my best friend!

It was just fun with will that someday jack would spend days laughing and laughing that sometimes it felt like he would get his colors back

Also will learned to cuss at a young age. And everyone can already guess where he got that from

He was a horror movie fan

Which is why he always said "i want to be like Jason when I grow up!"

"i want to do what leatherface does!"

"I'm going to be just like ghostface!"

But when LJ told him about the pastas, is when he started admiring them

"when I grow up, I'm going to work for slenderman!!"

Also you know in that one comic page where will was at the institution and said "i am the one and only grossman! And I will become the greatest killer the world and the underworld has ever seen!"

Well he had been saying that ever sense he was a kid

Will's mom was a really caring and nice mother but she would soon start getting angry every time will said he wanted to be a killer

Everytime the family got together or the neighbors would ask will what he wanted to be when he grew up, will's mom would always get embarrassed and try to change the answer

Neighbor: what do you want to be when you grow up?

Will: i want to be a killer!

Mom: AN ACTOR!! he wants to be an actor!! He just.. Um... Has seen so many horror movies and well he likes the actors! So he wants to be one!

Will would always get scolded by his mom or get grounded

"William, i told you a million times!!! Stop saying you want to be a killer!!! That doesn't exists! Just choose something normal!!"

William would sometimes just stand or sit in the corner and cry

LJ was always there to comfort him

"Don't cry buddy! Don't listen to that bitch! You will be a killer!"

His mom would get annoyed a lot of will talking about LJ

"You're six!!! You're old enough to know that jack is just an imaginary friend!"

"He's not imaginary!!!!"

And ever sense will knew about the underworld, that's the only place he would talk about.

Will: LJ please take me with you!! I want to go to the under realm! I want to meet jeff the killer! And ben! And masky! And slenderman!

LJ: i can't take you now but i promise i will when you're older!

Will loved his parents but he slowly started disliking them.

His mom always seemed embarrassed of him and his dad was becoming distant

The day that his parents got divorced, he did cry a few days.

He would always ask LJ "did dad leave because of me?"

But jack was there to reassure him it wasn't his fault.

"He's just a deadbeat bitch dad! But i'll be here for you! You don't need him!"

LJ pretty much took a fatherly role to will but never realised it

In will's school he had this "bring your parent to school day" thing and he didn't tell his mom, he wanted LJ to come

LJ didn't have a human disguise like the other pastas sense he was technically an imaginary friend. So he had to consult the rulers of hell to give him a temporary one or grant him that ability

LJ: Come on please! He really wants me to attend! Lend me a fucking hand here!

Paimon: i don't know, your job is just to protect him, you don't NEED to attend something as simple as a school event, he has his mother

LJ: i know but my boy wants ME to come! He doesn't want his damn mother to go!

Yeah, LJ called him "his boy"

He was more of a father than ever even if he didn't admit it

Bael: *sighs* fine, we'll give you a disguise just for today

LJ: yes! Thank you!

And LJ was able to go to will's school, he just presented himself as will's uncle

Will was happier than ever

Jack tried to act normal so he made up lies of his career

"Oh um i'm a....surgeon!"

Being a surgeon was the closest thing to his actual job. I mean, they both take out people's guts right?

Will as a teen (13-17) (basically now)

Will had a bit of an emo phase but not completely. It only appeared whenever he was with his mom

Only when he was with his mom he was distant and always seemed annoyed

He became the typical angsty teen. Started drinking, getting piercings, dying his hair, wear black, eyeliner, etc

Mom: another piercing?!

Will: yeah! Why do you care!?! I'm already an embarrassment to you aren't i?!

They would get into arguments a lot

Especially because of his sexuality

His mom didn't respect will's privacy so he would always check his texts, pictures, etc

"You're talking with girls AND boys?!?!"

Will was bisexual but only LJ knew obviously.

"If my boy likes guys then fucking let him!!! Stupid bitch!!!"

Though no matter who won the argument, it always ended with will crying or just laying on his bed listening to music

William would run away a LOT

Him and LJ had found an abandoned hospital where they would always hang out.

Will could be himself with LJ

His mood and attitude completely changed there.

They would drink beer together, tell jokes, prank random people in the streets, or just do random things

"Look at this street sign i stole!!"

But how did will finally go to the underworld? A family argument in will's 16th birthday

His mom invited everyone to the house.

But will was uninterested

And his mom like always, didn't want to "be embarrassed" by will, so he forced him to wear something else besides black, to take all of his piercings off, and didn't let him dye his hair

Everyone was there eating together

But will, like always, was distant

Uncle: so how are things in school?

Will: everything's fine

Cousin: what college are you going to?

Will: *shrugs*

Will hated his party.

LJ: enjoying your sweet 16? Haha!

Will: i hate it....

LJ frowned seeing him upset in his own birthday, but he gave him something

LJ: hey, i got you a little something! I know you want to be a killer so here!

He gave will the bird mask

Will: ! My...my first killer mask?!

LJ: yep!

Will: holy shit!!! Thank you! *puts it on* i love it!! I look like an actual serial killer!

LJ: i knew you would like it!

Will was super happy with his mask but he was called outside to cut the cake

"Cut your cake bud! Once this party is over, how about we go get some drinks?"

Will smiled "alright!"

He went out to cut his cake.

A few hours later though, everything was ruined

Will had another argument with his mom.

Will: I'M your son!!! Not them!!! Why do you like them more?!

Mom: i do like you will! I just...i just want you to be normal like them! I want you to want a normal career! To do better in school! To dress differently, and like girls!

Will: i DO like girls!!!

Mom: then why were you talking to boys?!?

Everyone just looked at will in shock

Will: b-because.....because i'm fucking bisexual!!! I like boys AND girls!! I'm not gay!!! There's a difference!!!

Mom: but you like boys!! That's not normal!! Nothing of you is normal!! Liking boys isn't normal! And being a killer isn't normal either!!

Will: oh so you hate me for being me?!?! I fucking hate you!!! You make my life a living hell!!!

Will stormed off to his room and locked himself and started sobbing.

Jack saw everything. He would have killed will's mom but everyone was there, plus he wasn't allowed to (a disadvantage of having a deal with the rulers of hell)

Will felt humiliated infront of the whole family

Jack saw how upset he was, so that's when he finally made up his mind

LJ: hey, remember when i told you i was bringing you to the underworld one day?

Will: *wiping away his tears* y-yeah?

LJ: well, that's today!

Will: wait, really?!?

Will immediately sat up his a smile on his face

LJ: yep! How about we leave this place? Let's go to to the underworld! You won't have to worry about your mom anymore! Or that shitty family of yours!

Will: yes!!!!! Yes I'd love that!!!

LJ: then pack your things and lets go!

Will got up from his bed and started packing. And once he was done, he just stood up smiling with his bags in hand

Will: let's go!!

LJ covered will's eyes with his hands.

And before Will knew it, he was in the underworld.

And that's when will finally started a new life.

LJ didn't have a luxurious life to give will but will loved it. Even if they lived in a shitty apartment, will was more happy than ever.

Will was still underage so LJ took care of getting him registered as an official underworld citizen and getting all the paper work done to have full custody of will as his guardian

So he basically adopted will

Will: i can actually be a killer here right?

LJ: yep! There's actually an institution for killers! So I'll start working on enrolling you in!

Will: yes!!!

And that's basically how their lives started

#mine #my post #creepypasta #william grossman #will grossman #Laughing jack

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ahsxual · 4 years

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Unbreakable Connection

Pairing: L!Joker x reader

Summary: You and J met each other coincidently and now, after a few months, you somehow managed to become really close friends.

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1,8k

A/N: Soo this is a request from lovely @heavymetalnarwhal where J and the reader have a platonic relationship. They've become close friends after they accidentally met. J has grown and now he trusts her, her home eventually becoming his haven and in return, the reader can finally have someone trustful to talk to, and someone who can understand her and be there when she needs him most. So darling, I hope you enjoy this! <3

(I don't own this gif!)

On a specific day, you were in the mood for a night walk: after all, you weren't having a good day, so you thought that this was the best thing to do to get away from your haunting thoughts;

Your usual way of relaxing is staying at home while watching some movie, reading some book, listening to music... but that particular day you just wanted to do something different, what lead you to something you would never expect to happen...

While you were walking into some empty and narrow street near a port, you heard some uncommon noises... more specifically from people talking and moving heavy objects hurriedly, you supposed;

You were about to return to your home when you heard them, but since you weren't in a hurry, you let your curiosity take the best of you;

Oh, how simple choices like this could origin such a drastical change in your life...

You hide yourself behind a corner, where you could see what seemed like ten people moving huge boxes with a "caution" warning on it into a truck, all of them covered in familiar masks;

When you were about to remember where those masks were from, you suddenly saw the one and only prince of crime of Gotham city: the Joker, jumping outside of the high truck into the ground effortlessly;

You covered your mouth after releasing a loud gasp unintentionally, earning suspicious glances from some masked men... or should you say women?

The Joker has women working for him too?? you thought, surprised by that fact.

After that, you started to run as fast as you could to your house, concluding that you had seen enough;

Little did you know that the psychotic clown saw you from afar, following you discretely after, while his goons continued to work;

When you got home, you went to bed and tried to sleep, thinking on how bad and strange that day was;

Since then, everyday you had the feeling that someone was following you, which obviously made you terrified. You thought about calling the police, but what if all of this was just your mind tricking you? What if you made yourself sound like a fool in front of the authority, wasting your time only to get to see them laughing at you afterwards? Yup, that's how Gotham police worked... and it was completely not worth it;

When you got home and finally managed to calm yourself down, you opened the door and instinctively screamed once you saw the most wanted psychopath in the city, chilling out on your sofa like he was in his own house;

"W-what are you d-doing here??" you asked, trembling, shaking from the inside out of your vulnerable body towards his presence;

"Oh, you arrived! I ah... just couldn't wait to finally meet the ah... little kitten who was picking at what she... shouldn't. But curiosity sometimes it's stronger than our own safety, isn't that right, huh?" he calmly, yet dangerously said, getting up from the couch to approach you slowly. You had nowhere to escape: you knew if you tried, he would kill you right then and there, and you wanted to do whatever was needed to stay alive just for a few more seconds;

"P-please, don't k-kill me...!" those words were the only ones that could came out of your quivering mouth by your frightened mind.

He looked at you disappointed, however he wanted to ask you something that he didn't understand just yet. "How... all of you are so... predictable. <Please, don't kill me!!>... Really? That's all ya have to say in your defense doll, huh?" he tried to imitate a little girl begging for mercy, which would make you laugh if you weren't on the that exact position.

"I-I guess if you were me, you would s-say the same thing. I... I don't k-know what else to say to you..." really? Were you really justifying yourself and trying to have a decent conversation with Joker?? He then stared at you intensely for a few moments, like he was analyzing you.

"Well, I guess I have to ah.. agree with ya on that one." he said. "But I didn't come here to ah... have a chat while drinking hot tea with ya. I actually wanted to ah... ask ya something."

"W-what is it?" even if you tried, you couldn't stop yourself from stuttering every time you spoke.

"Why didn't ya tell anything to the men that eat donuts 24/7 with a pistol in their ass pockets, the so called heroes of this city about ah... what you saw the other night, huh? If ya had reported me, I would probably be in jail right now instead of having this little... shitty chat with ya." even you didn't know the real reason, if you were honest. Maybe you thought this city was already fucked up, so what's the point in trying to arrest him when there’re many killers, thieves, and who knows what out there? You're just trying to live a quiet life... and if you did denounce him, you probably would be his next brutal victim once he lays his eyes on you again;

"I-I don't know... I just... want to live a quiet life. Let's be realistic: you probably would get out of the prison soon, so... it wouldn't make any difference, I guess..." this time you managed to speak without stuttering so much, which impressed you. He seemed thoughtful about your answer: he was good at reading people, and you didn't seem the kind of person that just wants to live their life in the best way possible, only caring about money and fame, not giving a shit about others. You have your own world, your own perspective of life, your own space without bothering anyone, and he admires that;

He could tell you're a shy and introverted person, not having anyone truthful enough to really talk about what happened... and Joker liked that fact.

From that, he already could tell that maybe you were someone to trust... and that's what he was about to find out;

After that, he nodded, telling you there was a chance of him coming back, since he got interested in your way of being. He decided to spare your life since you didn't report him, making you feel utterly relieved for not telling anything to the police or anyone;

Days passed and he wouldn’t show up like he said, and if you were honest, you actually missed him: you didn't have any romantic intentions with him, no no no, yet you thought maybe he could understand you... and accept you, finally valuing your worth and see you for who you are, without judging or offering rude side glances like most people do.That's when once again, he managed to impress you.

"Ta-daa!" he loudly exclaimed, making you jump from your secretary.

"What the hell?!" you exclaimed back, angry ‘cause he scared you by coming out of nowhere... again. "What are you doing here Joker??" calling for his name sounded strange... yet familiar, like you already knew him for a long time;

"Ah... from what I remember, I said I would come back. Soo here I am!" he then laid down caressly on your fresh-made bed. "Ohh this one's good! How much ah... did it cost, huh?" he said happily, finally having a comfortable bed to lay on instead of the rigid ground where he uses to sleep... when he can sleep.

You were speechless, him being completely at ease, but you decided to respond him. "Uh... it cost around 600 dollars. I saved a lot of money to buy it, so please be careful." suddenly, he started to laugh at you, like you said the funniest joke he ever heard.

"600 dollars?? Are ya kidding? Ya could just have stole it! And there would be so much fun and adrenaline on it as an extra!" he admitted excitedly, sounding like a kid who had the greatest idea about something random.

"Well, I'm not an expert thief like you. And I prefer to be humble and pay for it, thanks but no thanks." you answered, returning to do whatever you were doing previously before he unexpectedly entered your room.

"Oh... humility. Where does that lead us to, huh? To people getting whatever they want from us? Playing us like their little toys? Thanks, but no thanks." he imitated you casually with his arms resting under his fade green painted hair, which made you laugh this time since, somehow, you didn't feel scared of him anymore.

From that day on, he would visit you almost every day: firstly you felt like he was using you just to get a place to sleep and to properly eat: he has people working and doing anything for him, so why would he need you? Some common girl who's life isn't that interesting? You sadly thought. But with time, you could see he actually enjoys your company;

You would even tell him your problems, when a day went wrong or someone would bother you... and in that case, the next day that same person wouldn't be alive to tell the story. You thought strange at first, not knowing why everytime someone was mean and rude to you, they wouldn't be alive the next day. But then you put all the pieces together... so from that moment you stopped telling him when someone messed with you, unless it was really necessary and serious;

Sometimes you would tell him he was your guardian angel, to which he made a disgusted expression, making you correct yourself to "guardian demon";

"That sounds so much better, sweet cheeks." he said before winking at you. Every time he did that, you would blush furiously and hide your hot face, since you were a very shy and timid person, specially around him for some reason. He loved teasing you just to see you embarrassed, but of course he respected you, so he never crossed the line;

And all of this leads to now, where J is practically considered your weird best friend, the one you tell everything, the one you can truly trust and ironically, feel safe. If you only knew that one simple walk would make all of this happen... how funny life can be, putting two completely opposite people together and create this unbreakable connection between you two... like they always say, it's just destiny doing his work.

#heath ledger #heath ledger joker #heath ledger x reader #heath ledger joker x reader #heath ledger joker imagine #joker headcanons #headcanon #ledger joker #jokertdk #joker fandom #joker x reader #joker x you #joker fanfiction #ledger joker x reader #l!joker #platonic #request #fic request #headcanon requests

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fan-girling-101 · 4 years

Text

Pogue Halloween

Pogues x Reader x Kooks, Rafe x Reader

Summary: You’re dared to spend the night in a serial killer’s childhood home with your best friends and your worst enemies. But what happens when that serial killer comes back home?

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: references to Halloween franchise (mentions of killing, Michael Myers), typical horror movie suspense stuff, slight language?, lots of fear, Rafe lowkey being a sweetheart.

Thank you @thisismynerdyself who let me use her story. It’s going to be a multi chapter story but the first chapter is basically hers with just some small things. Please go check her out and read the original. And thank you for letting me use it. I hope it’s good enough. Also not going to lie about it I never watched Michael Myers Halloween movie thing.

Original here

Her Tumblr

Part two

“Okay, guys. Who’s going in first?” JJ looked around the group, challenging each one of you to make the first move.

None of you were particularly eager to enter the infamous serial killer’s childhood home, but you couldn’t back down from a challenge. So here you all are, face to face with the nightmarish home of Michael Myers. Windows had been boarded up years ago, the door was barely still attached. The ivy creeping up the walls all but covered the aged brick exterior. Yep, this was a horror house alright.

Pope took one step backward, holding his hands up in defense, refusing to be the first one in. You, Kiara, and Sarah looked at each other in solidarity, agreeing that none of you would be first. That left John B and JJ to fight it out.

Whether it was lucky or unlucky for them, they didn’t have to decide themselves. Just as they began to debate about it, you heard a chuckle from behind you. You all whipped around, already slightly on edge just from being on the property. Your entire group groaned in unity at the sight of Topper, Rafe, and Kelce striding toward you on the sidewalk.

“What are they doing here?” Kie whispered to you. You shrugged your shoulders, unable to answer her question.

“Look what we have here. Six little Pogues trying to act all tough. Too bad none of you can actually handle a night in that house”, Rafe sneered at you as he invaded the personal space of your group.

John B stepped forward to face his foe, “And you think you can?”

Rafe puffed out his chest even more than usual and replied “you bet I can.”

“How about we just put this to the test. We all go in. We see who lasts the longest. Pogues or Kooks. Last one out wins. Losers serve the winners poolside, the indoor pool- with a hot tub, of course, for one whole day,” JJ boldly challenged the three boys.

“Deal.”

You let Rafe go in first since he claimed to be so brave. Kelce and Topper followed after him, but neither of them looked comfortable with the arrangement. JJ, Pope, Kie, John B, and Sarah each filed into the main foyer of the dilapidated building. You came in last, closing the creaking door behind you. You made sure to keep it unlocked for whoever would leave first.

You all gathered together, formally declaring the beginning of the night. What had you all gotten yourselves into?

You decided to split into smaller groups to start out, making exploring the house a bit easier. Rafe, Topper, and Kelce decided to start upstairs, looking around the bedrooms. And oh how creepy it was to find that there were still neatly folded robes in the closet after all these years. To find the dusty vanity in Michael Myers’ sister’s room, old fingerprints still smudging the mirror.

Topper decided to venture out on his own, looking in the bathroom where Michael once killed his own mother while drawing his bath. The stains on the counter stood out beneath the dust. It was enough to make anyone’s skin crawl. He wasn’t too keen on being alone, but he knew Rafe enough to know that he would make this slightly scary night even worse with his inevitable shenanigans.

Everyone was moving around slowly, realizing it could be a long night, and not wanting to get bored too quickly.

Downstairs, JJ, Pope, and Kie stayed on the main floor, venturing through the kitchen, the dining room, and the living room. All the furniture had inch-think dust coatings and smelled like mildew and mothballs. Not a pleasant place to be staying for long. The kitchen was the eeriest room on this floor, all three of them finding utensils in the drawer that could easily be used as weapons.

As they made their way back toward the foyer, Pope froze in place as he thought he heard a noise from the stairs. As he looked up, he saw someone jumping down toward him, over the stairway railing. As the person landed with a thump, Pope backpedaled and collapsed against the wall, an involuntary yelp escaping his lips. The maniacal laughter emanating from the new occupant of the room sent Pope into a rage as he punched Rafe in the arm.

“Hey, we’re not messing with you guys, so leave us alone. I doubt Michael likes it when people pretend to be him”, Pope spat out at the boy in front of him. He already didn’t want to be there, so the cruel jokes would only make him more agitated.

Rafe feigned a guilty look and retreated back upstairs, but not before calling back, “it’s every man for himself in this game, Popey.”

You, Sarah, and John B decided to check out the basement. Not your wisest move in the world, but you would argue that none of you were being smart just by being in that house. You were immediately creeped out by the colder air and the musty odor.

You turned on your flashlight, eager to wash away the darkness. As you made your way through the room, you spotted the bottom of the garbage chute and opened the door, jumping back when a dead rodent dropped at your feet. You decided to stick closer to the other two for a bit longer. You all wound your way around boxes and turned corners until you came upon a dead end.

You took turns opening some of the boxes to find old moth-eaten clothes, file folders and other clutter. But among the stacks and stacks of storage containers, you managed to pull out an old shoebox full of photos. Passing them around, you were able to deduce that the box contained photos of Michael’s family, including some from the night he turned on them. Donning his halloween clown costume, Michael stood outside this very house, holding the very weapon he had used to kill his family.

From what you knew of the legend of the man, only his sister survived the tragic night, and she was whisked away into protection while he was taken into custody and held in various hospitals for years until his eventual escape.

Brought back to reality from your thoughts about what the murderer had done, you notice that behind a stack of boxes is a large hole in the wall. Against your best judgment, the three of you work together to reveal the hole, discovering a passageway behind it. By shining your flashlights through, it seemed as though there was a tunnel underneath the house. Definitely not something typical houses would have, but very fitting for a serial killer.

You glance between each other, wondering what to do. You aren’t usually one to back down from an adventure, so you take a step through the hole and into the tunnel. None of you dare to say a single word as you realize you’re deep beneath the house now, unsure of what could possibly lie ahead. Using your flashlights to light the way, you traverse the dingy tunnel cautiously. But you stop when the path is blocked by a floor-to-ceiling metal gate. The lock looks old, so John B easily kicks it apart and the gate swings open.

Once through the gate - you wonder why the gate was there in the first place - you find yourselves at the bottom of a sketchy metal ladder. Sarah steps up first, eager to get out of the too-tight tunnel. She reaches the top and you follow after her. John B brings up the rear.

You can see faint moonlight shining through a window in a nearby door. Huddled together as if your lives depended on it, you and Sarah approached the door, looking out into the yard of the house you were just in. Sudden realization dawned as Sarah whispers, “I think we’re in the shed.”

So far, none of you felt too overwhelmed by the house other than the overarching sense of creepiness. Were you excited to still be there, no. But so far nothing too terrible had happened.

Topper had wandered his way downstairs and into the living room, hoping to find a safe place to wait out the night. He found an old armchair in the corner of the room, attempted to dust it off as best as possible, and exasperatedly sat down. He didn’t even want to come here, but somehow Rafe had always roped him into things. He was tired and, if he was honest, he was already getting scared.

JJ, Kie, and Pope were headed into the basement, although none of them were keen on the idea. Pope got to the last step, took one look around, felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and hightailed it out of there. He had had enough. When he got upstairs, he spotted Topper in the armchair nearby. Topper, realizing that Pope looked like he was ready to go, stood up and said “if you’re leaving, I’m out too.” The two boys quickly made their way out the front door, not even noticing that the door that was once closed was already hanging wide open for them.

Kie and JJ rolled their eyes at their friend’s hasty exit and walked through the basement. Much worse than the main level, she already felt more uneasy. As they perused the cluttered room, they paused when they thought they heard heavy breathing coming from the back corner. Kie stepped behind JJ, choosing him to be the sacrifice.

As JJ stepped closer to the noise, he heard a low chuckle that erupted into a full blown laugh as John B stepped out of the shadows. “Dude, you should see the look on your face!”

JJ punched him in the arm, complaining “not cool John B. What are you trying to do, make Michael Myers come out here and prove to you that he’s real?”

John B simply rolled his eyes and pushed his way past his friend, heading upstairs to find the others. You came in through the front door right as he made it to the top of the stairs. “John B, I hate to say it, but Sarah decided to bow out. She saw Pope and Topper run out and figured she could make her exit then too. They went to wait in the van.”

“Did I hear you say you lost two already?” You hear Kelce’s voice emerge from behind you.

“Yeah, but from what I understand, you may have lost one of your own, Kelce. I don’t see Top anywhere” Kie replied as she glided into the room from the basement door.

JJ followed soon after, passing right through the room, headed to the stairs to take him to the second floor. “Alright you wusses, let’s break up this party. Nothing scary happens when everyone’s together”, JJ called out on his way through.

You laughed and followed him up the stairs, figuring his tough guy attitude might be your best shot at surviving the night. “Okay, J, where do we explore first?”

Meanwhile, Rafe and Kelce confidently strode down the basement steps, ready to take on any frightening scene that might unfold before them. As they crept through the basement, they took turns making creepy noises at each other, resulting in a laughing fit. Partly from their own antics and partly because of the three teens who had already bailed on the night.

And it was all fun and games until the basement door slammed shut, sending them into complete and utter darkness. Figuring it was just the fools upstairs, Kelce yelled up, “ooooh, I’m so scared” with a laugh just to stir them up.

But his laugh died as his eyes grew wide at the dark shadow, too large to be any of the others, slowly descending the stairs. The deep thud of the tantalizingly slow footsteps stopped when the shadow reached the bottom. When it turned toward them, they saw the masked face of the man and practically ran each other over in an attempt to find an escape route.

They tumbled their way to the back corner of the room where you, Sarah, and John B had uncovered the hole in the wall, and they practically threw themselves through the hole and into the passageway, no thought to what could be in store for them. Down the tunnel they took off, only turning around enough to know that the tall, muscular form was still following them.

Rafe was the first to reach the large gate in the tunnel, but it had been wired shut, blocking their way. Taking the time to unwrap the wire meant the mysterious pursuer was approaching closer and closer.

“Dude, hurry the hell up, man!”

“I’m going as fast as I can!” voices shakily yelling out in the darkness.

And just as the slow-moving man approached and raised his arm in attack, Kelce wrenched the gate open and they launched their way through and up a precarious ladder.

Kelce was first to the top, where he didn’t look back as he took off out the shed door and down the street to find the others. Panting, he knocked on the window of the old van. Topper unlocked the door and let in his friend, confused by the look of pure horror on his face. Kelce was speechless as he climbed in the back and sat frozen in his seat, not even coherent enough to realize Rafe hadn’t emerged behind him.

Meanwhile, on the main floor, Kie and John B heard the sudden commotion from the basement, recognizing the frantic noises that reminded them of a scene straight from a horror movie. And when the noises faded, John B realized they must have run back into the tunnel they had found earlier. He knew they would find their way out eventually since he had left the gate open down there. But when he turned to find the basement door had closed, knowing that neither of them had done it, he looked at Kie, who looked back with eyes as wide as they could go.

They cautiously walked into the kitchen to look out the window toward the shed and saw Kelce, alone, running for his life, a look of absolute terror on his face. That was their cue to leave, so they turned and ran out the front door, not even turning around to see the tall, masked man standing in the doorway behind them.

As you and JJ slowly made your way through the upstairs bedrooms, just glancing at the old furniture left behind to rot, you thought you heard thumping from below. Everyone was on edge tonight, so you assumed your mind was playing tricks on you. Then you heard a door slam downstairs, causing you and JJ to look at each other and smile. JJ couldn’t help but say “sounds like someone else just made us one step closer to winning this thing.”

While the thought of winning was pretty sweet, you knew that the people left in the house wouldn’t be easy to scare, so anything that caused them to run would have been seriously frightening.

You continued into the very back room, furthest from the main stairwell. The room was empty except for a few scattered boxes. Making your way toward the side wall, you found a door that was a bit different from the rest in the house. JJ was able to wrench the door open and you found yourselves staring up into the narrow attic stairwell.

You looked at each other, silently wondering if this was a good idea. JJ decided for you as he took the first step up and you hesitantly followed him. You were about to comment on the smell as you ascended the stairs, but your breath caught in your throat as you took in your surroundings.

You and JJ found yourselves in a vast attic space. You were surrounded by coffins. The coffins Michael Myers had used for some of his victims. This was his storage space. The ones you could get to were, thankfully, all empty. You even found one for a child, sick to your stomach just thinking of the poor soul it had been for. The acrid stench of death was seeping through your already plugged nose, but you were unable to block it out. Your quickened heartbeat was probably audible to JJ as he stood frozen in place as he connected the dots just as you had.

Without a word communicated between the two of you, JJ had grabbed your hand and pulled you down the stairs and toward the main stairwell. But you both skidded to a stop at the sight in front of you. The stairwell was blocked. By a tall man in a black jumpsuit and a horrifying white mask.

“SHIT!” JJ yelled as he pulled you into the nearby bedroom. After moving a small vanity in front of the door, you ran toward the window on the other side of the room. You both tried to pry open the window but it wouldn’t move. “SHIT!”

As he got closer you tried to look for something to defend yourself with. Your eyes finally land on a wooden plank that was used to board up windows. You lounge to grab it, swinging it in the direction of the man.

The two of you don’t waste a second sprinting out of the room as fast as you could. JJ made it to the stairs first running down with you in behind. As you make it to the last couples steps you miss one tumbling down the rest of the way.

“Come on Y/N!” JJ yelled at you, but when you got up you didn’t see the way the blond ran so you chose a door running through it. Of course you had the pick the wrong way into the kitchen with a back door that won’t open.

JJ makes it out running into Rafe on the way to the van. They get inside after sprinting from the house, not yet realising they were missing a certain Y/H/C headed girl.

“JJ where is Y/N?” Kie tries to calmly ask before freaking out that one of there best friends is still in the creepy house with a murderer. At this point they all look out the van for the girl.

“She was following me out. I don’t- she tripped… she probably is still in there. Oh God.” He stutters out thinking that the person he was closest with in the world was stuck in a house with a crazing killer.

Before anyone could react or do anything Rafe got out of the van with JJ’s gun in hand. He quickly starts his way back to the house hoping to get there before you're dead.

The tall man in front of your small frame grabbed your shoulders slamming you back into the marble counters. You let out a cry of pain, the pain spreading through your body. “Please.” You whimper. “Stop.” He lets out a creepy laugh watching the struggle. He brings up the knife running it down your side drawing blood while cutting the country artist shirt I was wearing. He brings it up going in for the kill before a gunshot rings out. The tight grip he has on you falls making you fall to the ground, as it was the only thing holding you up.

You feel a hand on your arm causing you to flinch before looking up to the blue eyes of Rafe Cameron. His hand slips under your knees effortlessly picking you up from the ground as if you weighed nothing. Your arms wrap around his neck hiding your face in his chest.

He carries you out and in the van. No one says anything before starting up the van. The quiet hum of the engine couldn't be heard over your sobs. A cloth was pressed to the bleeding on your side causing you to let out a loud cry. No one knew what to say as you buried your head closer into Rafe’s chest.

John B starts dropping people off at their houses. Starting at Kelce’s then Kie’s, to Topper’s before pulling up at the Cameron residence. You already all knew Sarah was going to stay at John B’s. Rafe tried to move you off him but you wouldn’t let him. Your arms around his neck tightening.

“I have to go.” He whispered into your ear. All the pogues left in the van watched the encounter between the two of you. Never had they seen Rafe be so nice to someone, so caring. Not even Sarah.

“Take me with you.” You cry into his shoulder. “Y/N.” He goes to say be cut off by a soft “please” making him give in. He picked you up again listening to the chorus of goodbyes you got.

He lightly set you down on his bed leaving for a second coming back with stuff to clean your wound with. He sits beside the bed on the floor grabbing the hem of your shirt looking up at you. “Can I?” You nod helping him get your favorite shirt off that was covered in blood. He must have seen the look of sadness you had as you watched him place the shirt on the floor.

“I can get the blood out but you can probably sew it or it might look cool with the rip but I don’t know.” His hand grabs one of yours putting a cloth soaked with something, cleaning the cut. You tried to hold in the sound squeezing his hand. “It’s not too bad we just gotta keep it clean. Anything else hurt.”

“My back.” You flip on the stomach letting him see where you got slammed into a counter.

“That’s going to be on nasty bruise Pumpkin, I grab some ice. And here change into this.” He sets some of his clothes on the bed for you to wear. You jump out of the bed grabbing his wrist pulling him to face you.

“Please don’t leave me alone.” The look you were giving the older kook boy made him give in quickly. The two of you walk down the kitchen happy that Ward, Rose and Weezie were asleep somewhere in the house. As Rafe grabs the ice you look through the cupboards looking for something to eat. Finally finding some oreos the two of you head back into his room.

You change and lay on the stomach on the bed Rafe getting in beside you resting some ice on your lower back.

“Thank you.” I move my head to face the boy who was already staring at me. “For everything.”

“Of course Pumpkin. Get some sleep okay.”

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slamsams-blog · 4 years

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Moonraker - #24WeeksofBond

Happy Labor Day! Here we are, the last Bond film until November’s release of No Time To Die. In a world, and in a year where everything has seemed to slow down due to the chaos and the uncertainty of a global pandemic...this project has done what I wanted it to, which was speed things up. I can’t believe we are already in September and only two months away from No Time To Die’s release. This has been fun and watching all the Bond films out of order has opened my eyes and offered a fresh perspective of each film respectively. That being said, Moonraker finishes our Bond marathon out and it actually was exactly what I remember it being, so no real eye opening, out of body experience here.

As a young adult I always rather enjoyed the humorous side of the Bond films. I thought the dirty one liners were hilarious and the gadgets were super cool. Which is why Moonraker had been one film I looked forward to as we would go through the Bond films in sequential order, over and over again. These days my palate is a bit more refined. I’ve matured and developed a taste for good story over anything else. Moonraker offers everything on the surface, a rather “paint by the numbers” Bond film; there is nothing hidden, nothing to go back and figure out. Not saying that that isn’t welcomed sometimes, but I would still like to try and figure out just who is behind everything rather than just being told right away.

Moonraker was a reactionary move on the part of Eon productions after Star Wars came out and after the box office numbers saw huge dollars, they decided to change gears. It had become customary after every Bond movie to reveal the title of the next Bond film in the closing credits, after The Spy Who Loved Me the credits rolled and said “James Bond Will Return In: For Your Eyes Only”. Whoops. Well because Bond is being reactionary here and because they only allowed a couple years in between each Bond movie, it was hard to change pace and give each Bond movie a unique flavor like the Daniel Craig Movies; therefor we get just another run of the mill, funny ha-ha Moore Bond movie...but in space with freakin laser beams!

We open up in the pre-title sequence with an airplane carrying a space shuttle called the Moonraker, but gets hijacked mid air. This causes alarm so Bond is called in, but before he reports for duty Bond is accidentally thrown from the airplane he is in by the returning Jaws! Yes, Jaws had been so incredibly popular that he had to come back, but this time...he’s pretty much a clown, but I’m kinda into it. Not the creepy ass clown we see in a dark alley which was horrifying...but just a regular clown that entertains kids at barbecues. I think it really would’ve worked better had they not re-introduced Jaws until after Drax’s man Cha dies.

Back to the film...Well, Bond says the shuttles are made by Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) so that must be it. And yep, it is. Pretty simple. I wonder if they could’ve at least gave us a few scenes with Drax to speculate if it is him, or if he is being set up before we see Drax’s evil side. Drax and Bond have tea and Bond can’t even get out the door before Drax is telling his guy to F him up. So the plot is pretty much spelled out for you, the only thing we have to wonder...is why? Before we come to that answer, we are pretty much taken on a 2 hour ride of Drax’s people trying to kill Bond, but failing. Seriously, Drax has someone around every corner, how does he get these people to go along with these plans??

One heart wrenching scene in this film is when Bond discovers a safe, and Cha finds Bond with the pilot who took him to the property. They then stick the dogs on her, this poor girl is running through the woods like she is in “The Grey” trying to get away from the dogs, but ends up getting ripped apart. Unfortunately Bond never finds out that he had a hand in her death by getting her to help him - this could’ve added a little weight and dramatics to the film. But I love the part in that same scene where Drax wants Bond to shoot a pheasant from the sky for sport, but instead Bond shoots a gunman out of the tree, and as Drax says “You missed Mr.Bond” the shooter falls out of the tree and Bond retorts “Did I?”. Love it.

Bond eventually finds a laboratory where some vials are being filled with some toxic gas but Drax tries to throw everyone off the scent by replacing the lab with a giant office. Bond convinces M that the Lab was there, and M keeps Bond on the mission - but on the DL.

Along the way Bond is introduced to one Holly Goodhead, oh those funny sex pun names for females that have not aged well...Goodhead, played by Lois Chiles, is an undercover CIA operative working for Drax as a cover. When we first meet her she takes Bond to the flight simulator where all our worst nightmares about amusement parks come to life. Cha takes over the controls and damn near takes Bond’s face skin off before the wrist dart gun comes in handy. Pretty intense stuff there. Bond finds out she’s CIA and they begin working together. There’s nothing special about Chiles performance here...she skates by.

They follow the trail of crumbs until they are eventually finding themselves on one of the Moonraker space shuttles lifting into orbit and inside a space headquarters that will be used as a sex pit....yes, Drax is scheming to kill everyone on earth and replace them with men and women who are physically superior, and they are to breed and make babies so that the new world will be physically fit and sexy and Drax will become God. Hot. Well, of course Bond is not about that...even though maybe he could’ve prevented COVID-19 had he let Drax wipe out the population? Thanks a lot Bond!

Another funny avenue they take with the Jaws character is that he finds love in a woman we are supposed to believe would fall for someone like him...because she has pigtails and glasses? If she had had braces it would made sense...two metal mouths, ya know? But because Jaws finds love, he turns babyface and starts helping Bond kill Drax, because Jaws fears Drax is going to eliminate him for not being genetically superior. This ends with Bond and Goodhead trying to escape but can’t, so they enlist Jaws to break then free, and Jaws and girl fly off into the sunset...literally.

All in all, Moonraker is meant to just be a fun ride. I don’t mind that every once in while, and I do find a lot of Moonraker’s bits to be amusing, but because there is a lack of depth in the story and a lack of interesting personalities in Goodhead and Drax, this movie falls a little short. Not Moore’s worst, but not his best - just very middle of the road. And while it does have it’s moments of suspense with Bond and Goodhead being trapped underneath the ignition of the shuttle, and the cable car scene with Jaws - we are also taken for idiots with the gondola scene where Bond is driving it through the city - forcing birds to do double takes. Yeah you read that right.

Thank you to everyone who followed this little blog of mine closely, this was super fun for me, and I am going to use this as a way to rank all the Bond films once and for all!

Sound off, what did you think?

Reviews from Friends:

Curtiss Frisle

Pretty great until they get to space.

24 Weeks of Bond will return in November with -

No Time To Die

#James Bond #Roger Moore #moonraker #star wars #24WeeksofBond

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iheardarumorxxx · 4 years

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Alright, time for biology class, let’s go.

Except not quite yet because I have a continuity question: This might be a book to movie error, but this says that Emmett, Rose, and Jasper were pretending to be seniors, but in New Moon (definitely in the movie, but I thought also in the book), Jasper is there at school with Alice and Edward and Bella. So did Forks High flunk Jasper???

Anyway, Biology class.

would manage to pull out anything in his lecture that would surprise someone holding two graduate degrees in medicine.

Edward has two graduate degrees in Medicine. This makes all of the Twilight books look hilarious in retrospect, but makes the fourth one especially funny in a rage inducing kind of way.

The humans weren't smart enough to know that they feared me, but their survival instincts were enough to keep them away.

1) You said this shit already back in the cafeteria, and I didn’t buy it then, so stop repeating yourself, and 2) I will say again since we’re repeating ourselves: They stay away from you because you’re a stuck up, smarmy little asshole.

Still, from the place where Bella Swan stood, nothing.

If only, sweet Weirdo, you had taken this as a sign of what it truly is: Your sweet precious flower Bella is empty space. A placeholder where hundreds of thousands of guys, gals, and non-binary pals can slip in and make it their fantasy. Can’t do that if she has unique and interesting thoughts. (And no, dear readers, I do not consider Twilight Bella’s ‘unique and interesting thoughts’ because SM never mastered that first person POV and it never felt like we were actually in Bella’s head.)

There was no room full of witnesses - they were already collateral damage in my head.

Okay everyone (myself included) clowns on the fact that as soon as Weirdo gets a sniff of the blood, he’s plotting out the murder of his entire class, but if we could all just take a second here.

Edward Cullen, the Vampire with Morals and A Heart Of Gold (according to the fanbase) gets a sniff of Bella’s blood and is immediately plotting out the murder of his entire class. No hesitation, no thought. This does not strike me as a man with a high regard for human life, as the books tried to tell me over and over that he was. If the line is still in there, this will get even worse later, but for now, I’m letting it rest on that.

I would also like to make a point about Vampires and their Instincts, but I don’t think this is the time for it. Not yet. So hold on to that thought for later.

the face I'd beaten back with decades of effort and uncompromising discipline

Remember that time Weirdo got pissed at Carlisle and fucked off to go people for a few years in a fit of warped vigilante justice?

Okay, the section is far too long to quote, but let’s talk about Weirdo’s little murder plot, shall we? At this point in the story, especially in this one as I am in Weirdo’s head, I’m supposed to think that he’s driven mad by bloodlust and in some kind of incontrollable madness.

But he’s sitting in his seat literally planning out exactly what the best route is to kill every single student in this classroom so that he doesn’t leave any wittnesses to his crime. He’s being detailed to the point that he can tell exactly how much time he has to do this.

That isn’t driven mad by bloodlust, guys. That’s fucking cold and calculated. This man is planning to the second how to kill 20 people all at once without getting caught. It’s planned down to the detail. As hilarious as it may be to clown on Weirdo about this passage, please think about it. Think about the cold, calculating way he’s describing murdering innocent teenagers and his biology teacher just so he can drink Bella in peace. Please think about the implications of what kind of person Edward Cullen is, that he can so coldly plan something like that.

In my head, Carlisle's kind eyes did not judge me.

I have a lot of feelings about Carlisle, and none of them are very nice, but I’ll save that rant and see just how he is in this book, since we’re gonna see more of him.

There is more of Weirdo’s woe is me bullshit here. I feel like it’s supposed to be dramatic and really get us into his Feelies about the Tasty Good Hooman Blood he’s wiffing, but it reads so much like a dramatic pre-teen diary entry that all I hear when I read it is ‘Waaaaaah! Why me? I hate everything, this isn’t FAIR!’

But I didn't have to breathe.

This is a very relevant and important point about the mythology of vampires in this canon. They don’t have to breathe. They literally never have to breathe and choose to do so anyway, and while I could understand that new vampires might continue to breathe because it’s a comfort of their previous life and a force of habit carried over, Weirdo has had plenty of time to lose the habit. And it is absolutely possible to not notice someone not breathing if you aren’t constantly staring at them waiting for the signs, so saying that it’s a tactic to blend in (especially when the Cullens do nothing in their power to blend in to begin with) doesn’t fly either. Weirdo goes on to make a point about how he relies on scent more than his other senses, for the hunt and for warning signs and all that, but he is in school, and if we go by the text, he doesn’t want to hurt the humans around him, so even if he does use his sense of smell, he has no reason to use it in a school full of vulnerable teenagers.

Weirdo calls Bella a Woman-Child and Thanks I fucking Hate It.

And once again, Edward is going into a lengthy fantasy about how to get Bella alone to murder her. I said it already but I’ll say it again. This isn’t fucking bloodlust, this is a cold blooded killer plotting his next kill. This fucker is Calculating. He’s plotting. If he was truly as bad off as he’s claiming, he wouldn’t have the brain power to be this cold and rational about it.

I played a CD of music that usually calmed me, but it did little for me now.

This is funny to me for a number of reasons. The first is my assumption that the CD he’s playing is that one with the DeBussy song on it. Symbolism and all that. But the second is that this is v much something that happened all throughout the Twilight saga with SM. She refuses outright to call things by name. She won’t say the names of bands, or search engines, and the only ‘product placement’ we get is the cars. I can’t tell if she did this to try and make her stories feel more timeless or because she was genuinely afraid of being sued or something for using specifics.

He's almost young enough to be my son. Too young to think of that way..

We get is SM, you want us to think your Pires are the most beautiful, amazing, alabaster angel creatures on the planet. But no sane, rational middle-aged school secretary is going to think of a student this way. It’s gross and creepy and makes me think extremely badly of Mrs. Cope if she’s having lustilicious thoughts about what she thinks is a teenage boy.

like they've found some way to cheat in every subject.

I would like to point out that, at the very least Weirdo has found a way to cheat in every subject. Even taking into consieration the amount of times he’s been through high school and college, the guy can literally just pluck the answers right out of the teacher’s head.

And we end Chapter One with a wimper. There are a lot of plot holes in relation to Alice’s visions, but they aren’t bad here, so I’ll leave them alone. The narrative of ‘Vampires do everything so much better than icky humans because they’re just the best and wonderful and great and amazing’ has already started happening, and now that we’re in the head on one of the Pires, I can only assume it’s gonna get so much worse. Here, it only really came up in the form of ‘pitiful, insignificant humans could never do that that I could.’ and the super fast driving bullshit that makes no sense because a car is not a Pire so it can’t just magically adhere to the warped Pire physics.

Anyway, that’s chapter one done. On to the next.

#sierra recaps stuff #ms liveblog #midnight sun #midnight sun spoilers #ms chapter 1 #long post

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thegodshavehorns · 3 years

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Capture the Wind (2/5)

Chapter 2: Prophylaxis

The next week, you meet the Seer again. You’ve taken the bus home from school, skipping the weekly church group. You open your door, and there she is, smiling at you from the couch.

“Good afternoon, John,” she says. “Come have a seat.”

“Oh, hi,” you reply. “You came back.”

She smiles, and lifts a can of cherry coke in the air, as if toasting. You walk over to sit on the reclining chair, and you both sit there for several long moments, her sipping a coke and occasionally flipping a coin, and you twiddling your thumbs.

“So-” you start to speak, but she interrupts.

“John, you have never had any martial training, correct? Of course that's correct. The reason I’m here today is to address this lamentable gap in your education.”

You blink. “Martial training? You mean martial arts? Fighting?”

“Yes, John, that is what I mean.”

Your eyes widen. “You mean like The Karate Kid? That’s so sweet, so you’re going to be like Mr. Miyagi to my Ralph Macchio?”

“Like that, except real.” The goddess stands up and makes a motion that you can’t quite make out, and then there is a large duffel bag in her arms. It looks like something you could get at REI.

She puts it down and unzips it, and you see a sharp-looking metal edge.

“Because you have absolutely zero previous experience, I have selected a variety of potential weapons for you to take up.” She removes a sword from the bag and lays it down on the floor, then takes out an axe. “Of course, I know what you are going to choose. But the impression of free will is important.” She takes out several knives, then a long spear, then a heavy, spiked club, laying each one next to the other. “But keep in mind: you can only choose one. Just pick a weapon up, and it will be yours.” She reaches back in for another item and-

Oh shit. That’s a gun.

You’re staring. “You uh, want me to choose? Why? How do I know which would be best for me? Maybe I should try out a few first, to see what fits?”

“No, John. That’s not how we're doing this. Consider it a test of your resolve and perseverance.” She finishes arranging the weapons, straightens up, and steps back. “Now, choose wisely.”

You stare down at the assortment of deadly armaments. She said she already knew which one you’re going to choose, so why is she doing this? But she also said last time that you sometimes did unexpected things, so…

“Okay,” you say, after thinking a moment. “So whatever I pick up will be my weapon forever?”

The Seer smiles. “Yes, that is correct.”

You look at the vicious implements spread out on the floor, and then your eyes wander over to your dad’s toolkit. He must have left it out, after hanging up the latest clown painting. You take a step towards it. When the Seer doesn’t stop you, you close the distance and, with a broad grin, pluck the hammer out from the box.

You hold it up proudly at the Seer. “Ta da! There! I followed your instructions! You were not expecting that, huh?”

The Seer’s expression is impassive. “Very well, you have chosen your weapon.” She nonchalantly kicks the deadly weapons on the floor away, clearing a space. Then, she makes that motion again, and there is a long, tapering, wooden cane in her hand. “Time to see if you can use it.”

------------

That night, you retire to your room early, avoiding your dad's questions and nursing the bruises on your back and sides. When you sit down at your computer, you wince.

That really smarts.

Land a hit on me, the Seer had said. Land a hit! As if you ever could, when she knows what you’re thinking of doing before you do it! By the end of the hour, you were absolutely sure that the Seer was attempting to sign her name onto your skin in bruises. Being taught martial arts by an ancient goddess isn’t nearly as awesome or non-painful as you would have expected.

You have a message on Pesterchum. It’s Anna.

-- harmoniusDithering [HD] began pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT] at 17:34 --

HD: sorry that you missed today's meeting, hope you're feeling well!

HD: and that you’re not sick or anything

HD: we signed up for the field trip today. I got a ticket! I’ll see if I can get the Sylph to autograph something for you.

HD: you like movies, right? I don’t have any movie posters, but if you bring me one at the next meeting I’ll see if she can autograph that!

HD: anyway I’ll see you next week. Take care.

You look at the messages for a long time, thinking of what to say.

-- ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering harmoniusDithering [HD] at 20:11 --

GT: i am sorry, but i can’t come to the youth group meetings anymore

GT: i told my dad about it and he said i can’t go at all

GT: i am grounded for life or something

You don’t feel good about this. This isn’t a joke. This is lying, to a friend, and you feel terrible.

She replies a few minutes later.

HD: oh that’s awful! I’m so sorry! Your dad is a jerk!

HD: you should call social services on him or something.

HD: I don’t know. I guess this isn’t illegal. But it’s so unfair.

HD: I can’t believe he’d do that.

GT: yes it is very dumb and lame

GT: i am not happy about it

HD: Well I’m angry about it!

GT: you don’t have to be angry

GT: he is my stupid dad

GT: i guess i will figure it out

GT: have a good time at the museum, i hope you meet lots of rad people

You sign off. You don’t like this at all, it makes you feel like you’re in the wrong. But you can’t be in the wrong if you’re doing what a goddess is telling you to do, right? Isn’t that kind of the definition of right and wrong?

You don’t know.

Bruises aching, you go to bed.

Next week, while practice-strifing in the living room, the Seer smacks your hand with her cane, and the hammer goes flying. You hear a crash, and you turn in horror to see pottery shards and Nanna’s ashes all over the mantelpiece and floor.

“Oh shit,” you say, and glance back at the goddess.

“John,” she says, and raises her cane. “Don’t turn your back on your opponent.”

“No, wait! Just wait,” you say. “Those are my Nanna’s ashes, I can’t just leave them there while we strife.”

And to your relief, she gives you a moment to get a dustpan and a broom and sweep up the ashes. Not knowing where else to put them, you get a mixing bowl from the kitchen and dump them in. “Augh,” you say. “How am I gonna explain this to my dad?”

The goddess takes a coin from nowhere and flips it. “You need to come clean and take responsibility.”

“But-”

“That is what is just, John. And if your father punishes you, that is also just.”

But it’s your fault, kind of, is what you want to say, but you don’t. You look at the bowl of ashes and pottery shards in your hands.

“John," she says again. “Learn from your mistakes. What have you learned?”

“Don’t strife inside the house?”

She smiles, and smacks her cane into her palm. “That, and protect your grip.”

------------

“Son, I am disappointed in you.”

“I’m sorry,” you say. “It was an accident.” You do not look your dad in the face.

He sighs and adjusts his hat. “Sit and talk with me for a moment, Son.”

Oh gods, not a talk.

You sit, and your dad leans forward. “Is everything alright at school, Son?”

That’s not what you expected. “Huh? It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You haven’t been getting into fights?”

You shoot a fearful glance in his direction. It hasn’t even been a month, this can’t be the reveal that the Seer mentioned…

“No.”

“Son,” your dad puts a very patriarchal hand on your shoulder, but you’re bruised there so you try not to wince. “What happened to your hand?”

“Oh, that was an accident,” you say, looking down at the swelling across your knuckles. Your dad would not be okay with ‘a living goddess hit me with a cane’ on several different levels.

You decide to go on the offensive. “It’s none of your business anyway, Dad. I’m fine.”

“Son, I only have your best interests at heart. You know that.”

“You don’t know what my best interests are! For, for all you know, I have some sort of destiny that’s completely different from what you think I should be!”

“Don’t give me that talkback, Son,” there is an edge to your dad’s voice now. “I can see you’ve been having a hard time lately, but don’t take it out on your old man!”

“You don’t see anything! You don’t know anything!” Your voice is rising high above your regular indoor volume. Your gambit at pretending to be angry has backfired, and you actually are angry now.

Your dad shakes his head. “I know some things, Son. Like the fact that you don’t actually go to bowling club after school.”

Your mouth goes dry, and you look away. “I- I quit.”

“Do you need more extracurriculars? I think piano lessons might not be enough.”

“Augh, gods, I can’t believe this!” you exclaim, and immediately regret it.

“Language, John,” says your dad, his voice low.

“Sorry, Dad, I’m fine,” you say, trying to calm down. You remember the breathing exercises you did in the youth group, and try to emulate those without the prayer part.

“Son,” your dad uses his patriarchal hand again. “I think more extracurricular activities would do you some good. Keep you out of trouble.” You are about to object, but he goes on.

“There are lots of good options, why don’t you look into it? Is there something you’d like to learn to do?”

“I’ll think about it,” you mumble.

“Good,” he continues. “Your chore load will also double for the next month.”

“Dad!”

He gives your shoulder a patriarchal squeeze, and you really do flinch this time. “You’ll survive, Son. What doesn’t kill you makes you a stronger man.”

You are not so sure you agree.

------------

HD: and you won’t believe it, but this high school kid was totally flirting with me.

HD: I mean it.

HD: he was like sixteen or something

HD: so awkward.

GT: ok

HD: I dunno though, maybe I should have gone out with him?

HD: he was kind of cute

GT: ok

HD: or maybe I should have painted my face green and done the hokey pokey

GT: ok

HD: are you okay, john?

GT: huh?

GT: i am fine.

GT: if you had to learn some totally new skill, what would it be?

HD: inuit throat singing

GT: ha ha ha what?

HD: no it’s amazing.

HD: the inuit people can sing with like, their throats.

GT: what else would they sing with? their eyeballs?

HD: oh shut up

HD: i mean like, with their throat and their mouth separately. Two tones at once!

HD: isn’t that just amazing? I wish I could do that.

HD: well

HD: either that or something useful. Like computer programming.

GT: those are two very different things.

HD: so? People are allowed to have diverse interests.

GT: i guess so

------------

“I would like to take a computer programming class,” you tell your dad. “And karate.”

------------

The Seer of Mind cracks you over the back with her cane. You sprawl onto your belly on the ground, but manage to roll away before the second blow comes. You could swear the canes she uses are slightly harder and heavier each time. Thank goodness she never goes for your head.

The cane’s coming again, and you try to swipe with your hammer, but it’s really too short.

Her cane has a longer reach, and she can knock you four ways to Saturn before you’re close enough to even poke her with the hammer.

So she goes and knocks you four ways to Saturn, and while you’re gasping for air she flips you onto your back and points the tip of the cane at your throat.

“You’re dead again.”

“Augh,” you respond. “Can’t you use a shorter cane?”

“Your enemies will not use shorter canes just because you want them to, John.”

You sit up and push the cane away. “What enemies? I don’t have enemies!”

“John,” she says, her voice dead serious. “You have enemies you don’t even know about.”

You get to your feet. “Who, then?”

Her face is inscrutable. “You’ll know them when you see them.”

“Augh, this is so frustrating!” You are on the verge of tearing your hair out. She’s the Seer, she knows everything, so why isn’t she telling you anything? “I don’t even know what my ‘Grand Destiny’ is! You said I was going to save comedy, but all you do is strife with me!”

“John.” Her voice is incredibly condescending. “This is all an important part of your training.”

“But what am I training for?”

“You are training for your destiny, John. You will need these skills I am teaching you, in order to succeed.”

“What, ‘how to get beaten up 101’?”

She nods. “Endurance in the face of pain and damage will serve you well.”

You really want to know what you’ll be doing that requires you to be beat up so much, but then the Seer is swinging her cane at you again, and you have to pick up the hammer to block before she thwacks you in the stomach again.

“You must become hard and unyielding,” she says, and takes another swipe. “When I am through with you, John, you will be like steel.”

You have no idea what that means, but it sounds cool.

------------

At school, in the gym’s locker room, the other boys notice your bruises. They whisper and gossip at the cane marks across your back and sides.

You’re a freak.

------------

-- harmoniusDithering [HD] began pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT] at 18:54 --

HD: hey! I haven’t heard from you in a while!

HD: i thought you would ask about the museum trip.

HD: because that is a thing that happened.

HD: it was pretty awesome.

HD: they didn’t have any movie posters for sale.

HD: but I did think of you.

GT: what do you mean?

HD: what do you think I mean? :)

GT: i do not know what you are talking about

HD: you can be really thick sometimes

GT: that’s what she said!

HD: that is not a proper thing to say to a lady

GT: bluh

HD: kidding!

HD: so are you still grounded?

HD: John?

-- ghostlyTrickster [GT] has signed off --

------------

It’s been a month now, and you think maybe you’re getting better. That you can maybe go 30 seconds now without getting whacked by the cane. You want to think it’s the karate lessons, but all your fellow students are like, eight, so it's not like you're a karate master yet.

The Seer has been coming more often, three times a week now at least. But at least her “lessons” are relatively short in duration.

“John,” she says, and her cane disappears into wherever the objects she carries always go. “Let’s take a break.”

You put down the hammer with a sigh of relief, then quickly shoot a look in the Seer’s direction to see if she heard you. But, of course she heard you.

She’s sitting down, and you wonder for a moment if you’re going to meditate, the way you did in Church. But instead, she takes out a chessboard.

“You know this game, John.” It’s not a question. “Play it with me.”

It’s less painful than the strife, but just as humiliating. She trounces you, then again and again. Of course she does. She can read your mind. This whole thing is an exercise in futility.

“Are you trying to teach me to give up?” you gripe, after the fifth defeat in a row. “This is not exactly great for my self-confidence.”

“You must learn to lose, before you can learn to win,” she says. “Learn when you are outclassed, and when you can turn your situation into an advantage.”

The Seer alternates your lessons between strifing and chess, and beats you every time. You play white. She plays black. After a few lessons this way, though, the playing gets… weird. The Seer seems to think that the pieces have their own personalities and motivations. She even names them.

“Watch out for the Black King, John. He is more powerful than you might think.”

“Take shelter in the castle, sure. But that rook is going to turn on you if you’re not careful.”

“This pawn is Jack. Don’t let him, or his allies, take your queen.”

The Seer changes the board up, when you play. Sometimes you play with nothing but queens and pawns, sometimes with nothing but rooks and knights. She sets up the board in specific arrangements, ahead of time, and makes you play.

“You can win,” she says. “But you must make no mistakes.”

You don’t know anything about chess. You look up strategies online. You still lose.

You can’t strategize against her, you can’t plan. So you move your pieces erratically, and lose every time.

------------

About two months after meeting the Seer, you get a package in the mail. For you. You never get packages, unless you order something online. You don’t recognize the return address, but your name is on it. Handwritten.

It’s a long, skinny tube. Maybe it has a golf club in it or something. You wouldn’t put it past your dad, getting you a golf club even though you don’t play golf.

You open the tube, and there’s a paper roll. A poster. As you unroll it, you can see it’s some kind of abstract artsy print, with streaks of red and yellow paint over light brown. On the bottom, white text reads “Northwest Museum of Art and Culture.” You can only imagine that it’s some kind of famous painting, but you don’t recognize it.

And as you finish unrolling, you see in the upper corner, written in jade green ink:

To John,

Keep The Faith. We Are Here For You.

Kanaya Maryam

The Sylph of Space. You have the autograph of the Sylph of Space. Her true name and everything.

There’s a letter.

Dear John,

Surprise! Sorry it’s not a movie poster, they only had art prints for sale in the museum gift shop. This piece is called “Welcome to Denmother,” and it’s by an Enfleífrit artist from the Norma Arm of the Milky Way. I have no idea what it’s supposed to represent, but I think it's a really important piece in Enfleífrit culture? Like the Mona Lisa or something. Go figure. There’s more info about the picture on the back of the poster.

And I’m sure you’ve seen the signature already! She was really nice, said “what’s your friend’s name” and signed it! There were like a BAZILLION people, I was waiting in line for hours!

Did you know the Sylph really glows? You can’t see it so clearly in the daytime, but it makes Her shadows very weird.

Anyway, I hope you get un-grounded soon. I miss you seeing you in person! Let me know, and maybe we can hang out sometime? Like, not in church, I mean.

Best wishes, and Gods bless!

-Anna

Aw, crap.

You can’t keep this. If your dad found out, he’d FREAK. And if the Seer found it? She’d freak too. You have to throw it away.

It’ll be easy, just go up to the trash can and throw it out.

Just go.

John. Go.

You don’t go. You can’t. You look at the letter again.

Everyone else in the youth group forgot about you, but Anna still cares. Even though you barely talk to her anymore. You have a friend. You can’t just throw that away.

You don’t hang up the poster, but you don’t throw it away, either. You fold it up and tuck it, with the letter, under your mattress. It’s a perfect hiding place. No one will ever find it.

#revision #john egbert #dad egbert #terezi pyrope #godstuck #godstuck fic #capture the wind #homestuck #homestuck fanfiction #tw: abuse

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jordswriteswords · 5 years

Text

Clextober19: SCREAM

For three years, Lexa had been rewinding Aden's memory.

"Why do we have to keep doing this?" Madi sighed as she looked at her best friends blank expression. She pushed his floppy blonde hair out of his eyes as he stared at the wall in front of him.

"I told you," Lexa says softly. "He can't know you're a witch."

"He keeps figuring it out, though," Madi counters. "Every single time we erase it, he figures it out a different way. Now, he's just losing more memories." Her blue eyes lingered on his face, his blonde mustache that he started growing. At fifteen, Aden still looked like a twelve year old, chubby cheeks and innocent eyes, and he was desperate to look older - hence the tiny patch of hair above his lip. "Soon enough, he's not even going to remember me."

"She's right," Clarke said. She sat next to Madi and slung her arm around her daughter's shoulder. "You never erased my memory."

"Trust me, my parents tried. Many times. You're just remarkably stubborn. I just - I need to keep you safe, Mads."

Clarke pulled Madi into her chest and sighed. "Just for now," she whispered to her daughter.

"Okay," Madi sighed.

***

Aden rang the bell to the Griffin-Woods home, excited to start the movie marathon he and Madi watched every Friday night.

Startlingly blue eyes stared up at him, a pretty smile on his best friend's lips. Aden blinked, his hands suddenly getting sweaty at the sight of her.

"Hey, loser," Madi teased. "You coming in or what?" She asked.

Aden laughed, shouldering past her to get into the house. "Last one to the couch smells like feet!" He called, then raced to the couch in her living room. He leapt over the back and crashed onto the cushions. "Beat ya!" He called out before Madi had even turned from the door.

Madi rolled her eyes and settled onto the floor in front of him.

"I'm just kidding. Come sit up by me." He moved his legs and tugged on Madi's sweater until she relented and moved to the couch with him. "So what do you wanna watch?"

The brunette shrugged.

"Slasher? Freddie? Jason? Killer Clowns? Scream?" He asked.

Madi laughed. "What is it with you and scary movies lately?"

Aden shrugged. "I find them funny." He looked at his best friend through the corner of his eyes. "The supernatural doesn't scare me."

"Jason isn't supernatural. He's just a crazy dude."

Aden cleared his throat. "Yeah, we can watch something else. What about a witch movie?"

Madi's cheeks flushed. "Why a witch movie?"

Aden lifted one shoulder and let it drop when he said, "I think they're cool. They're just normal people with like… extra powers."

"They're not normal at all," Madi disagreed. "It's weird, having powers. You're not like everyone else."

"Yeah, you're special. You get to see the world through a totally different lens. Being a human kinda sucks. We're squishy and whiney and usually prone to doing dumb things." Aden pointed to the DVD case in his hand. "Like, always run towards the sound of murder."

"Witches are squishy and they can do a lot of harm to people."

"Or they can save people. Hello, Harry Potter."

"Voldemort."

Aden leaped across the couch to cover Madi's mouth with his hands. "Don't say his name," he hissed. His heart beat unsteadily in his chest.

Madi giggled underneath him, and for the briefest of moments, she thought about what his lips would taste like and if the hair above his lip would tickle. The thought startled her, knocking her stomach into her shoes, and she licked his palm. Aden's nose scrunched up and he pulled away immediately at the wet feel of her tongue, wiping his hand on his pants.

Her cheeks turned bright red, and she tucked her legs underneath herself in the corner of the couch trying to distance herself from the feeling. "Just pick whatever movie you want."

"What about Bewitched?" Aden chewed his lip as he cast a nervous glance at his best friend.

Madi blew a raspberry. "That's like ancient."

"Yeah, but she wiggles her nose," he commented with forced nonchalance. "Seems kinda relevant."

Everything suddenly went eerily silent. Madi swallowed down the knot in her throat and avoided her friend's eye.

"I know you know that I know," Aden said. His brow scrunched and he shook his head. "I mean - I know you're a witch. And I know your Mama's a witch."

Madi hissed, "Aden, stop -," her eyes widened as she looked around, looking to see if her parents were listening. Surely, they'd rewind his mind of tonight and Madi wasn't ready for that again.

"No wait, listen Mads." Aden turned to face his friend fully. "I know. And I know you're going to delete my memory again or whatever it is that you guys do, and that's cool, but just know that I know and I'll always know and I'll always keep it a secret. Clearly, it needs to be since you keep wiping my memory."

"How did you…"

Aden shrugged. "It makes sense. There's pictures of things that we've done together, places we've gone, but when I try to remember them, I can't even recall one single memory of the day. You always have to tell me what happened, and you haven't ever told the same story twice."

"Your amnesia isn't -,"

"And how you always take the entire week off if you're sick. And how you always make me jump because I'll be sure you aren't around and then you just poof right into existence next to me."

"Yes, but -,"

"And how your Aunt Octavia is never in any pictures I've ever seen. I've even tried to take a selfie with her and she nearly broke my hand. She's a vampire, isn't she? And how defensive you are over what witches actually look like. You even coined witch-ist."

"I didn't coin anything."

"Okay, well, what about that one time I was playing soccer and you were the only person in the stands and I kicked the ball from half-field and it literally spun around all the defenders to end up in the net."

"Physics?" Madi said awkwardly.

"Madi," Aden sighed. "You're going to wipe my memory anyway, you might as well not lie."

Madi sighed and ran her hands down her face. "Fine," she murmured. She looked up into earnest blue eyes and said, "yeah, I'm a witch. My mama, too, and her sister. But aunty Raven and my mom aren't."

"And your aunt Octavia?"

"Vampire."

"Uncle Lincoln?"

"Werewolf."

"Those are real?!" Aden shrieked. Madi cast a wary look at him and Aden cleared his throat. "Those are real?" He hissed.

The brunette nodded, and started playing with the ends of her braids.

"Okay, wow," Aden said. He ran his hand through his hair and asked, "so can you fly? Do you need a broomstick?"

Madi laughed. "Nope." She wiggled her nose and levitated off the couch a few inches. Aden's eyes widened comically.

"Cool! Do you make potions? Do you have any warts? Can you teleport? Is there a killing spell? Do you need a wand? How come you have to wiggle your nose? Do you wear gowns? Did you have to go to witch school?" He started asked the questions so quickly that Madi couldn't keep up with them to answer.

"Whoa, Aden, holy, wait!" She cried. She laughed at his excitement. "First of all, this isn't Harry Potter. Secondly, I'm a half-witch, so I have my own set of special powers. Each of us are different. My mom's got super athletic/physical stuff and I -,"

"Can talk to animals," Aden supplied.

"You - you know that?"

Aden smirked. "I saw you in the park last week. A wolf came up to you and you followed it. A wolf, Madi. You followed a wolf. Anyway, I followed you."

"Oh," Madi said, a strong swooping feeling in her stomach made her skin hot. "Why would you follow me if there was a wolf?"

"You were talking to it. And then when you found the litter, you talked to them, too. The pups came right up to you. You talked to them like they could understand you, and I just pieced it together."

"You followed me because you thought I was a witch?"

Aden swallows loudly. "Uh, yeah."

"Oh," Madi said, her brow furrowing at the fact that her stomach had dropped unpleasantly. "Right, yeah, well, I can talk to animals."

"That's cool."

"How come you're not more freaked out by this?" Madi asked, diverting the attention away from her disappointment.

Aden shrugged. "You're my best friend. You're important to me, and I just… I want you to know I'm not gonna hurt you. So when you wipe my memory this time you can at least know that you're safe with me."

Madi leaned over and hugged her best friend tightly. "Thanks, Aden."

"Anytime, Mads."

***

"You can't rewind his memory this time," Clarke hissed at her wife.

They were doing what any good set of parents would do - they were eavesdropping.

It's not that they meant to, but Aden's voice was changing, and it cracked when he was excited. He spoke with such excitement that both Clarke and Lexa thought it would be safer to know than not know.

"I need to protect Madi," Lexa said sadly. "I don't enjoy doing this. I adore Aden."

"I know you don't, but it doesn't seem to matter anyway. He keeps figuring it out. We've rewound his memory almost thirty times already. Nothing even happened this week and he figured it out. What are you going to do, kill him?"

Lexa opened her mouth only to snap it shut seconds later. She couldn't kill the boy. "What if we move?"

"I will literally kick your ass, Lexa. You're not doing that to Madi. You'd have to rewind to her toddler years and I am not going through the fire burping phase again!"

Lexa slumped into the counter. Clarke stepped into her space, cupping her chin and directing green eyes to meet hers. "Aden's a good kid. He's Madi's best friend. Maybe we should just trust that the universe wants him to know." She pressed a soft kiss to the pouty bottom lip of her wife.

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist. "When did you get so wise, Mrs. Griffin-Woods?"

"When I married my best friend." She kissed Lexa's smirking lips and then pulled away. "Let's go talk to them."

***

Madi was in the process of returning Aden to his human form after she had turned him into a desk lamp.

"Whoa," he gasped as his butt landed on the side table. "That was so cool!"

Lexa cleared her throat from the entrance to the living room, and both teenagers froze.

"Looks like you're having fun," she commented. Aden jumped off the table and sat on the couch in a poor attempt to feign innocence.

"Mama wait, I can explain."

Lexa held up her hand to her daughter. "Nope."

Madi looked at Clarke, who just shook her head at her daughter. Lexa took a seat on the arm of the couch next to Madi and Clarke sat beside Aden, her hand running soothingly along his back. "We want to talk to you both," Clarke said.

Aden sighed, his shoulders hunched forward. After a long moment, he said, "Alright, I'm ready." He sat up straight and looked at Madi. "Thanks for being honest with me."

"We're not removing your memories," Lexa said.

Aden gasped at them. "You're - you're not?"

"No, we're actually going to give them back to you, if you want. I'm sorry I took them from you, but I needed to protect my daughter."

Aden shrugged. "That's cool, I get it." He looked at Madi. "I'd protect her, too."

Lexa shared a knowing look with her wife, then turned back to the boy. "Do you want your memories back?"

"You can do that?"

"Yes. It will disrupt the timeline, but it won't make too much of an impact because you continuously figure it out. At least, well, I hope."

"You hope?" Clarke hissed.

"I mean, well, it's not like I ever had to do this before!" Lexa said.

Clarke groaned and ran her hand down her face. "Fucking magical children I have.

"Anyway," Lexa cast a look at her wife before turning back to Aden. "I can, but it's pretty painful. Like, extremely painful, so you need to be sure you want --,"

Aden cut her off, "Yes, I want them. I want to remember."

Lexa nodded and switched seats with Clarke. Clarke took hold of her daughter's sweaty hand, stifling her chuckles. "He'll be okay."

Lexa placed her hands on either side of Aden's head and breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. He followed suit, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

She whispered an incantation that wasn't English then released Aden's head.

Nothing happened. Aden opened one eye, and then the other, and then pouted at the ordinary room.

"I don't think anythi -- agghhhhhhhhhh!" He screamed, clutching his head between his hands as the waves of memories were dumped into his subconscious.

He fell over, his body crumpling to the floor in pain. His head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. He saw glimpses of fire and ice and blinding, painful lights.

Images flashed before his eyes of all the adventures he and Madi and been on since they became friends on the apple farm. Moments of terror and fun and pre-teen awkwardness, and images of Madi's face and her wiggling nose illuminated his mind.

His body seized and convulsed with the rewiring of his brain, and after a long, long moment, his body went still.

Madi was beside him instantly. "Aden? Aden?" She asked as she shook him.

Aden gasped and bolted upright, clutching his head as the visions swam before him. Madi stumbled back, her eyes warily watching her best friend, waiting for him to say something.

"Madi," Aden gasped, eyes landing on his best friend.

"Hi," she said quietly.

His face broke into a large, beaming grin. "Hey, hi, hello," he laughed at himself. "Holy shit, hi!"

"Do you remember anything?" Madi asked, still wary.

"I remember everything," he cheered, then lunged at her to give a tight hug.

#clexa #clexa fanfic #clexafanfic #clextober19 #13daysofclexa #clarke griffin #lexa woods #clarke x lexa #the 100 clexa #lexadeservedbetter #lexa #the 100 lexa #witch!Lexa #witch!madi #magic!au #accidental magic #modern magic #magic

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living-dead-parker · 5 years

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Movies and Karaoke - p.p

Summary: Science squad has another fun sleepover full of movies and karaoke.

Warnings: cussing, underage drinking, killer klowns from outer space spoilers (but that movie came out in the 80s so.......that’s on you lmao), some emo shit at some point.

Word Count: 2.9k (i wanted to make her a big one bc i love science squad prompts ngl so plz send more ideas. Anything really)

Did I go back and watch KKFOS from beginning to end just to add all my important commentary I actually made while watching the movie? You bet your sweet ass I did. Do I regret it? Only slightly! Civil War through FFH never happened but Morgan exists and so does the science squad bc no one can stop me from disregarding canon!!

"It's my turn to pick the first movie!" Shuri yells at Harley and ripping the control out of his hand, causing the kid to nearly scream. The girl casts a playful glare towards Harley, making the kid damn near shit himself on the spot. From the corner, Ned giggles, watching the whole thing go down. However, when the door swings open, Ned's head snaps in that direction.

"Shuri," MJ's soft voice calls out, soft yet firm with a tint of humor. She's seen entering the room with blankets and pillows in her arms. "Bring it down, you're scaring the boy."

Shuri drops the remote control onto the coffee table in front of her. The princess leans back on the large couch, pouting as she crosses her arms over her chest. It is supposed to be her turn. It was Ned's last time, to now it's her turn. But whatever. Instead, she just stares at the black screen in front of her, contemplating her life up until this point. However, not too long after, they hear the door to the in-home theater swinging open, revealing you and Peter with snacks and drinks in your hands.

Shuri and Harley's eyes widen as they look at all the snacks. Bags of skittles, six boxes of pizzas, boxes and boxes of cookies, packs of juice and some water, and lots of other things among that. However, their eyes drift over to the two twelve-pack boxes of hard lemonade that Peter holds in his hands. A gift from uncle Rhodey because he knows how teens can be and he'd rather you do it among trusted friends at home than getting it off some stranger on the streets. Plus, he trusts you and MJ to be responsible about it while still having fun. Plus, it's like four per kid, so it's not gonna do much to any of you.

"Alright, Shuri," you call out as you and Peter begin setting things up. MJ begins setting up the blankets and pillows as well.

You'd invited your friends over for a sleepover, one of the many you have over the course of the year. You'd all settled for a movie night, not wanting to go out anywhere really. The last time you'd had a sleepover, Ned picked the first movie and it would rotate from there. The sleepover usually lasts all weekend, from Friday evening to Sunday evening. Enough time to wreak havoc on everybody at the tower and have the time of your lives. It's Friday night and you're ready for a long night of movies and messing around. It made the most sense to use the in-home theater that your father had installed into the tower; it's spacious, it has the best screen with surround sound which makes movies, karaoke, and video games so much more enjoyable. It's all and all, extremely fun.

As you finish setting up the snacks, you see Harley moving to the back of the room to tone down the lights as Shuri turns on the screen, revealing the home screen for Killer Klowns From Outer Space. You all turn to look at her, casting playful glares in her direction. The only one who did not was Peter.

"Absolutely not," Harley calls out first. He shakes his head, sounding completely unenthralled. You giggle, nodding along. "This movie is so bad!" he exclaims.

"I kind of wanna watch it," Peter cuts in. You all turn to him now, giving him the glare. "I've never seen it-"

"You," you cut him off, taking a step closer to him. "Of all people, have not seen Killer Klowns? Mr. I'm constantly watching movies from the 80s, has not seen Killer Klowns?"

"I've been meaning to," Peter defends himself, looking over at everyone else. They're all still glaring at him, though it's all playful. "I see it everywhere, but I just never get to it, ya know?"

With that, you all sit down, ultimately agreeing to watch it. Harley shoots up in his spot once again, running to turn off the lights completely. When he sits back down, Shuri presses play and the movie begins. It starts off and everybody seems to sing along to the theme song at the beginning. Arguably one of the most wasted songs ever, because it's so good for such a bad movie. But who cares, ya know? However, the movie reaches the point where they introduce the two teenage characters in the makeout area.

"Why would people actively choose to go to a place like that to makeout in groups?" Peter asks. "Like, hey I'm gonna take my girlfriend out to this isolated place where there are already like ten other couple making out or having sex in this exact spot already?"

"Some people are just voyeurs," MJ cuts in, shrugging lights before wrapping an arm around Shuri. Peter hums in response. "Plus that doesn't happen much nowadays."

Suddenly, an ice cream truck drives into the area where all the teens are making out, and over the com, one of the drivers says;

"We'll give you the stick, you give it a lick, and it'll tickle you all the way down,"

Peter chuckles and without thinking it through he says; "That's what I say to Y/N w-"

"Peter!"

His eyes go wide as you all yell at him. You lightly smack his arm, moving away from him slightly as he giggles about it. They all glare at him again before turning back to the movie. After that, not many comments are made until the two main teen characters discover the tent where the clowns are. As the guy pressures the girl to go into the tent, you speak up.

"I've said this before and I'll say it again," you start, hearing Peter chuckle as he wraps his arms around you again. "If Deb was a lesbian or was with a girl, at least, she would not be there and she would be safe."

"Explain." quips Harley.

"Boys are dumb and if Deb was with a girl, the other girl would agree and they'd run away rather than run to the tent," you respond. Shuri and MJ nod, giving you the lesbian seal of approval for that opinion.

"What if it was me asking you to go in with me?" Peter asks.

"Well, I'd maybe consider it, but that's because I have my dad's tech to save me and I'd have Spider-Man with me, so we could easily fight these clowns off. They don't want this smoke," you explain. "However, if it was pre-bite you, then no, I would leave you on your own and run away if you wanted to go in."

"Fair enough."

With that, the discussions stop for a while. Until the scene where the clowns are loose in the city and going door to door killing people. When they ring the doorbell at the first door to reveal a blonde woman in a slip dress with a glass in her hand, pretending to deliver her some pizza.

"Pizza?" she asks. Peter turns to look at you, confusion in his eyes.

"Are-are they going to-"

"Clap her cheeks?" you all respond at the same time, noticing how it can look like the start to a bad porn video. Except, it's a horror movie instead. When they zap her, Peter almost gasps. Was he expecting it to happen? "My take is that if they just did clap her cheeks, they'd realize that they don't need to kill people and they just need some coochie or something. Plus she was cute, so if I was one of them I would have done it, but there's a reason why they're clowns."

Once more, the commentary became little to none until another wild scene much later in the movie. At this point, Dave the cop and Mike -Debbie's boyfriend- are in a playhouse looking for Debbie. The two guys that walked in with them and got lost inside a ball pit, one meant to be a jacuzzi or hot tub of some sort. As the camera pans out, it reveals two clowns, and when the camera turns to face them, it reveals that they're female clowns. As the camera pans out on them once more, it shows their clown boobs inflating.

"Holy shit," Peter screams, causing everyone to laugh. "Screw anime girl tiddies," he continues, making MJ and Ned snort, meanwhile Shuri spits out her drink. "Clown girl tiddies are where it's at!"

You lightly smack his arm, glaring at him once more. Though the room is dark, you can see him lightly blushing in embarrassment. Eventually, the movie comes to an end and Harley is quick to turn the lights on. Suddenly, over the speakers in the room, you hear Harley speaking up.

"Hey guys, welcome to my show," he speaks into the karaoke mic. When he plugged it in, you're not sure, but the suddenness of it made it funnier. Harley steps in front of everyone and looks over at all of you. "So I'm no comedian but for tonight I am," he continues, earning a fake chuckle from Ned. What a supportive boyfriend. "So, we watched Killer Klowns From Outer Space, right? Well, you know who the real clowns were?"

"Who?" you all ask.

"Us, for even watching it in the first place."

That got a genuine laugh out of all of you. Even Peter was laughing genuinely at the joke, mostly since he's the biggest clown of all for wanting to watch it. Harley bows after his jokes land. He sets the mic down as MJ stands and walks over to the mic. She picks up the mic and looks over at everyone.

"Peter and Harley," she calls out. The two perk up, waiting for something else. "That's it, that's the joke."

"Hey, we should do karaoke before we pick the next movie!" Ned exclaims, his eyes wide with hopeful excitement. You all look at him, not being able to deny him his karaoke. Plus, you love karaoke. It's his thing, not many people can say no to him. He's the charmer of the group, often convincing people to get his way. You are the mom friend in terms of getting them out of certain situations and funding all the craziness as well as physically taking care of them. MJ is the intimidating mom friend, though she uses her intimidation on other people to get everyone out of a different kind of trouble. Shuri is the intimidating and hectic person who tends to get you all into some kind of trouble, but she knows how to cover it up, so there's always some close run-ins. She's the group clown. Peter and Harley are equally the punching bags of the group and they are also the bigger trouble makers. However, they're also the practical geniuses who can make anything out of a paper clip under intense pressure. However, Peter is the brawn while Harley is just not afraid of Tony, so he just barges in and does what he want to get out of trouble. All in all, no one can really say no to Ned.

"Alright, let's do this, you're up first bud," you tell Ned. He excitedly jumps up and stands up in the front as you turn the screen back on. You exit the movie and open up a karaoke program you'd bought that allowed for all sorts of high-quality music. You pull out a notebook from a cabinet in the room with a pen as well. At the top, you write the word 'queue' and make a list. "Come tell me your songs so I can start up a queue."

Everyone walks over to you one by one, telling you their songs and you just write them down. At the end of it, you have a queue of about twenty songs. So with that, you type in the first song that Ned chose. Africa by Toto.

You lean forward in your seat, grabbing one of the hard lemonades. No one seemed to grab any up until you did. Everyone grabbed one, as the song began. As Ned sings, you continue making the queue of songs until they've all been put in and you can sit back and watch. After Ned finishes singing, Peter jumps up and takes the mic. His song begins to play, making everyone laugh.

"Gotta take a little time," he begins, faking a raspy voice. He moves around the room, humming and singing along until the song reaches its chorus. He kneels in front of you, hand reaching out for you. His eyes are screwed shut and everyone's phones are recording you two. "I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me!"

You playfully push him and he lands on his back. Everyone laughs, stopping their recordings to post them somewhere. You giggle when Peter stands back up, moving over to Ned and deciding to sing to him instead. Once his song ends, Shuri jumps up and takes over the mic. The song begins, revealing Africa by Toto.

"I hear the drums echoing," Shuri sings, exaggerating her accent this time. She dances around, singing the whole song in an exaggerated accent. When she finished her song, MJ jumps up and takes over. Total Eclipse of the Heart. Except, every 'turn around' was replaces with 'suck my dick' and the phrase 'total eclipse of the heart' was replaced with 'total eclipse of the fart'. Not something you expected, but it had to be the best performance so far. Harley was the next to jump up and take over.

"I made it through the world a mess," he sings in a high-pitched voice. He sings the whole song to Ned and eventually, he reaches Ned, deciding to sit on his lap. "Like a virgin," he sings "touched for the very first time!" he practically moans rather than sings this time. This continues for the whole song, with Harley singing rather provocatively and dancing in a similar manner on Ned. At one point, Harley even threw himself onto Ned from behind the couch, he claims it was on purpose but everyone knew it was an accident. Once more, as Harley's song ended, you took over.

"We're gonna get a little emo here," you explain. The song begins after a short pause. They all look at you with big smiles. However, to add to the feel, you attach the karaoke mic to its stand and you tilt the stand over, standing over it dramatically like every rock star tends to do. You lean into the mic and begin. "Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine."

They all join in on singing with you. The loudness of it all attracts some newcomers into the room. You don't notice it until Wanda, Bucky, Steve, Sam, Natasha, Pepper, and your dad are all in the room, watching you headbang and scream to the song. The other five all jump up, turning on the other mic and sharing it as they sing along.

"It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss!" you all scream. You all jump around in unison throughout the whole song, none of you noticed how all the adults seem to have their phones out recording as well. "Open up my eager eyes, cuz I'm Mr. Brightside!"

When the song comes to an end, you're all giggling and laughing as you hand the mic back to Ned. Before you can all process all the heroes in the room, Ned's song is starting up now. It was weird how every other song after seemed to be emo as well.

"Check yes Juliet, are you with me?" he sings along once the song begins. You're the next to jump up and join him. "Run baby run, don't ever look back!" you sing to each other.

Song after song, you all joined along and sang and danced together. However, once the karaoke stuff was over, and all the adults had left the room, another movie was being put on. It seemed almost unanimous, and the movie selected was the Nightmare Before Christmas. Everyone was tired now, so you all cuddled up on the couches. On the bigger couch in the back lies Ned with Harley nestled into his side. On the front right couch lies Shuri with her head on one side, Michelle with her head on the other side. On the front left couch, you lie up against the back of the couch as big spoon while Peter lies down next to you as little spoon.

Halfway through the movie, Tony follows a sleepy Morgan into the theater room. The little girl remains unaware of her father following in her footsteps. Tony felt her stir in bed and so he decided to check what the hell that was all about. He's about to ask her what she's doing but he stops himself when he sees all the sleeping teens. He watches the small girl scan the room, perking up when she sees you and Peter on one of the big couches. Tony watches as Morgan shakes her big sister's arm until you wake up. He watches you groggily pick the girl up, scooting closer to the back of the large couch, and squeezing her in. He notices Peter shift around before resting his arm over the two girls. He smiles rather fondly and has FRIDAY take a picture of the room, making sure to add a reminder to send the pictures to everyone in the morning.

Send in asks, requests, and feedback!!

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bi-guy-filmbuff · 5 years

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My Halloween movie recommendations...

(It's never too early for Halloween. Again no one asked for this, but here we go)

>Whatever happened to baby Jane (1962)

Now this film isn't necessarily a horror, however this cult classic will have you on the edge of your seat. Staring Bette Davis and Joan Crawford this film shows the brutal Hollywood industry and the dangers of being a successful actress against a failed hassbin. Crawford acting alongside Davis is the most epic rivalry in Hollywood, they truly despise eachother yet one couldn't live without the other. I love how both Crawford's and Davis's true feelings of resentment are shown through there acting. And the downright pettiness of the both of them. ("Accidentally" kicking eachother, weighing yourself down with rocks).

>IT :Mini series (1990)

I'm trying to recommend films that some people may or may not of seen before. This may be a more popular one on the list. The IT miniseries was the first recreation of Stephen kings 1986 novel starring Rocky horror's own Tim Curry, as Pennywise the dancing clown. Tim Curry is creepy, witty and so much more. I mean a child eating alien clown, what more could you want? This series also stars a familiar face, Richard Thomas. Who's best known for his role as John boy in the Walton's. This series also doesn't stray far from the original novel, meaning yes there Is some rather unusual scenes, that were probably drug fueled when being written.

>Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Now this is a classic 80s horror. This funny blood filled film stars Felissa Rose as Angela Baker, a young girl who's family came to a tragic end during a freak boating accident. Angela goes to Camp Arawok with her Cousin, when unusual murders start to happen throughout the camp. Think friday the 13th with more creative ways of murder and 10x the camp. This film is hilarious and filled with so many twists and turns, it's a must watch. (Also free on YouTube)

>Critters (1986)

This film is the right amount of camp mixed with gore. These little fuzz ball aliens land on earth and discover they have a taste for human flesh. Two shapeshifting bounty hunters come down from space to capture these little monsters. Think Gremlins but a lot more blood. A series of films I loved very much as a kid, that always made me laugh. Definitely worth a watch if you're looking for a laugh this Halloween.

>Basket Case (1982)

A classic comedy slasher film. Conjoined twins, murder, singing, mutant births. There is so much packed into these films. My personal favourite of the trilogy is the 3rd film where we have a nice little sing a long on a bus filled with freakish creatures, lead by a woman they consider their mother. Think jessica lange in American horror story freak show but 10x crazier and weirder. This film has the suspense, the gore, and the camp to create a great watch. (Again they're free to watch on YouTube)

>Elvira mistress of the dark (1988)

Shes back the queen of Halloween, the hostess with the most. Cassandra Peterson stars as the beloved horror icon Elvira. This film is hilarious with its spooky one liners and tongue in cheek comedy. This films breathes 80s and everything good about it, the music, the fashion and the movies. This movie is a favourite of mine and an absolute classic that represents everything punk and spooky. Definitely watch if you haven't already seen it. (Also on youtube)

>Killer klowns from outer space (1988)

A small town is under attack by...you guessed it. Killer clowns from out of space. This movie is funny creepy and just plain weird. People are killed and literally coated in cotton candy to then be sucked out by a straw, for alien clown food. What is it with these alien clowns eating children? A good film to just sit back, relax and have a laugh. (On Netflix)

I tried to pick films that aren't as popular as some of the classics, such as nightmare on elm street (which I do hold close to my heart) also a lot of these older films can be found for free on YouTube, which can come in handy.

Thanks for reading and I hope you guys like some of these recommendations and have a great Halloween 🖤👻🎃

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beauty-proof · 5 years

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Socked

The TV still hummed in the background, the movie long over. She stirred awake, shifting her head against the bony shoulder it had been resting on. The scent of soap and cigarettes filled her nostrils. Arthur’s smell.

The arm wrapped around her shoulder tightened a bit, as if he’d sensed in his sleep that she was about to leave. Once she’d seen the clock it had taken every bit of control not to jump up and run out the door. It was three full hours past her curfew and she prayed that both her mother and baby brother were sleeping soundly. Somewhat reluctantly, she eased out from underneath his arm, careful not to wake him. She crept to the door and looked back before she closed it behind her. He was sleeping peacefully on the couch. His brown waves, usually pushed back behind his ears, hung about his face.

It was good to see him rest. In the few months she’d known him, he always looked so gaunt and exhausted. Recently, his mother had been placed in a home, and he wasn’t dealing with it well. He’d gone from being thin to looking like a living specter.

She still felt so bad about his mother. She’d grown up seeing Mrs. Fleck around the building, stopping by her apartment every Halloween while trick-or-treating. At that point, Arthur had been mysteriously absent. She knew why.

When she’d told her mother she planned to go around their apartment building asking if anyone was willing to hire her to do some household chores, her mother had forbidden her from stopping to ask the Flecks. “That son of hers,” she’d said, “In and out of the psychiatric hospital. Worms in his brain.” He’d landed on his mother’s doorstep right as she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Life wasn’t very fair to Mrs. Fleck.

- After she’d started working for them, Arthur had finally found a part-time job. Unfortunately, the commute was so long that he wouldn’t make it back home until after dark, which had been a bad time for his mother ever since the hallucinations had started. He’d offered her money to sit with his mother in the evenings when he was out.

The first time he’d arrived to relieve her of her duty, she’d giggled at the face paint he’d neglected to remove before returning home. “Did you ride all the way home like that?” she’d teased. “...Shit,” he’d run his hand down his face, smearing the clown makeup.

Not too long after, on a night when she was unable to sit with Mrs. Fleck, a neighbor had called 911 after hearing screaming coming from their apartment, followed by a crash. Now, the state wouldn’t release her back to Arthur and she’d been placed involuntarily in a home on the other side of Gotham. When she’d told Arthur that she’d overheard her parents saying that the landlord had raised the rent again, he’d admitted that he didn’t know how he was going to pay for the rent without his mother’s disability checks.

“We can always rob a bank,” she quipped, and he’d given her a strained smile.

Now, she tread quietly, cracking open the door to her family’s apartment. The coast seemed to be clear and she breathed a sigh of relief. The odds hadn't been in her favor.

Tip-toeing toward her room, she was startled nearly out of her skin by a low cough from the corner of the dark living room. Her father rose from the armchair, lumbering toward her in the dim light.

"Dad," she whispered, confused. "What're you still doing home?"

He came to a stop in front of her. "Waiting for you. Fuck have you been? Your mother asked me not to leave for work until you showed up."

"I was at Margaret's," she lied. "We fell asleep watching a movie. I'm sorry Dad."

"What's this?" He gestured toward her person and her heart skipped a beat. She realized she was still wearing the brown cardigan that Arthur had loaned her earlier that evening. They'd gone for a walk to the nearby park and she'd gotten chilly as they headed back to their building after sunset.

She swallowed. "It's from Goodwill."

He looked at her for a moment longer, eyes straying to the bottom hem of the sweater, which hung almost to her knees.

"Maybe go for something a little less shabby next time, okay?"

"Okay."

He squeezed her shoulder as he walked toward the door. "Night, kid."

She locked the door behind him and breathed another sigh of relief.

As she changed into her pajamas she briefly considered sleeping in the sweater, but decided it best to not be too indulgent. Instead, she buried her face in the fabric briefly and inhaled his scent one last time before discarding the garment in the hamper to be washed.

The next morning, she was woken earlier than usual by loud bickering from the living room.

"I don't give a fuck, Maria!" her father yelled over his shoulder as he burst through her bedroom door.

She bolted upright, still getting her bearings, her eyes blurry. Her vision came into focus to see her father standing in the doorway, red-faced, grasping the cardigan in one hand.

"Get up," he barked. "Put your shoes on."

"Dad, what?"

"Now."

She prayed this wasn't what she thought it was, but common sense told her what was about to happen.

Once he got hold of her pajama clad arm he all but dragged her down the stairs to the second floor of the building, heading swiftly to a familiar apartment door and rapping upon it with a force that might split the wood.

"Coming," a groggy voice called from the other side.

As Arthur cracked open the door, still wearing yesterday's clothes and looking half awake, her father immediately thrust the offending sweater into his hands.

"Just returning something of yours," he sneered.

"Oh. I -" Arthur started and opened the door further.

"Now you listen to me," her father cut him off and stepped into the taller man’s space.

"I don't know what kind of sicko you are, but I already told you once to stay the fuck away from my daughter -"

"Dad!" she protested, shocked.

Had he really known where she'd been during her routine absences from home? Had he really gone behind her back and approached Arthur to try and break their friendship? She was both embarrassed to find out that she was apparently not as sneaky as she'd thought and offended that her father hadn't thought she was adult enough to approach her about the situation.

"You know how old she is?" her father roared, pointing at her. An impulse flickered briefly in her mind; to grab his hand and twist it until it broke.

Arthur's eyes narrowed in a way she'd never seen before. He looked...scary. Scary wasn’t a word she'd ever associated with the wiry, mild-mannered man. Now, however, he looked like a cobra pulled back, considering when to strike.

"Yes. I do," Arthur replied evenly.

Her father huffed a couple more times. "If I ever catch you even looking at my daughter again, I'll kill you."

Arthur’s demeanor shifted, somehow, from tense to incredibly calm. His previously pursed lips melted into a lopsided smile. He took a step toward the shorter man.

"Look, I get what you’re saying. But if that's the first conclusion you jump to then, uh...maybe you’re the sicko."

He'd barely gotten the words out of his mouth before her father reached out and quickly socked him in the nose. Ignoring his daughter's horrified shout, he grabbed her roughly by the arm and dragged her back toward their apartment.

"You know how they keep track of people's clothes in the nut house, honey?" he asked as he steered her toward their door. "They write their names on the tags."

Oh.

Last night as she'd tossed the sweater into the hamper, she’d noticed "A. FLECK" written in dark marker on the tag inside its collar.

Fuming, she sat in her room, having refused breakfast.

Well, she thought. This fucking sucks.

Then, true to the form of a young person who's been forbidden from doing something, she set about planning how to do that which she shouldn't. She had to see Arthur again. And soon.

#arthur fleck #joker #joker 2019 #fanfic #mine #socked

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amplesalty · 5 years

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Day 12 - Chillerama (2011)

The last drive in...

As is tradition around these parts, we like to toss in the odd anthology film just for some variety. Now, it has been a while since we properly covered one since the last few I watched were in that blind period where I’d be watching stuff but not blogging due to laziness, namely Trick ‘r Treat, V/H/S and Tales from the Darkside. Between those and early entries like Creepshow I/II/III and the Twilight Zone movie, I feel like I’ve hit upon the bigger names of this sub-genre. I think the other big one would be Tales from the Crypt, which occupies this space in time between the comic and the TV show. I will freely admit, I’m watching this for one reason alone which we will get to.

Things start with a guy digging up a corpse and getting his dick bitten off before exclaiming that he’s ‘late for work’. I suppose that’s one way to avoid answering any awkward questions in the office. ‘Good weekend?’ ‘What did you get up to last night?’. No one ever asks you what you did before you came to work, clearly the best time to get your necrophilia ways in.

I don’t get the significance of the blue blood though, other than maybe it standing out because it’s so unique? It’s not like they’re trying to tone down the movie or anything, doing a Mortal Kombat turning the blood grey and calling it sweat. We will see later that this movie gets very graphic.

Turns out he works at a drive in movie theatre that is shutting down, tonight being the last night. This serves as the framing device to tie all the other stories together, cutting back to the drive in between segments to catch up with some of the main characters.

Up first is ‘Wadzilla’ the story of Miles, whose swimmers aren’t so strong if you know what I’m saying. His doctor, played by Ray Wise, prescribes him some new medicine that hasn’t been approved for market yet but he would make a good test case for. It wont help him make any more sperm but it will give what he does have a little more pep.

Or in actuality, cause him to grab his dick everytime he so much as feels the slightest arousal and have a look of the guy from the ‘Jizz in my Pants’ video.

Turns out that new medicine is causing his sperm to grow massively. Look at the size of that thing, must be like passing a kidney stone. The good doc advises he cease taking the pills and, should this happen again, he needs to jerk off as soon as possible to get the little bleeder out.

Unfortunately, Miles heads out on a blind date and catches sight of his date’s cleavage so has to rush to her bathroom to rub one out. What ensues is a chaotic scene in which the released sperm starts scurrying around the room like a lost gerbil and Miles trying to stop it. He even wrenches the shower curtain off the wall and tries to harpoon the gooey troublemaker like he’s Captain Ahab. Well at least we avoided that horrible trope of the date blocking the toilet.

Or so I thought, as Miles tries flushing his wasted offspring, only for it to cause the toilet to backup and spew water everywhere. Miles’ date wonders just what the hell is going on in there, only to get attacked by the beast which has even spawned teeth by this point. It even tries to fulfil it’s destiny of getting inside her, only for Miles to intervene and launch it out of a window.

This sperm doesn’t stop growing though as it starts to go on a rampage through the city like it’s the T-Rex is Jurassic Park 2, starting by eating this Worzel Gummidge looking hobo.

Pretty soon it’s destroying buildings and the army have been called in. But even they can’t stop it from what it wants to do...

Hump the Statue of Liberty.

It even has fantasies of the statue doing a sexy dance. LADY LIBERTY’S TWERKING, MAGGLE!

This calls for General Bukkake, played by Eric Roberts, to call in an airstrike which destroys the creature and the statue, even if that means he ends up living up to his name in the resulting explosion.

Our two love birds even get to finally share a kiss, though it’s a lot closer to snowballing under these circumstances.

Blocked toilet tropes aside, my most hated of tropes, this one was pretty fun. Definitely has that 50’s b-movie quality down with some fake film grain, green screen and practical monster effects.

Meanwhile, back at the drive in, dickless the clown is in the store room and the implication is that he’s jerking off. But I don’t know what he’d exactly be jerking off at that point except a small stump. The only other thought is that he’s trying to clean the wound or something but there’s a definite jerking motion going on. Either way, he sticks his hand in the popcorn butter so he can rub it where his junk used to be. Unfortunately for everyone intending to eat that night, one of the staff comes in to restock and chooses that can. This doesn’t end well.

Segment two is ‘I was a Teenage Werebear’, Werebear being a sub-genre I feel Hollywood has not explored sufficiently. The best way I can describe this one is Grease if it was written by Chuck Tingle, with some supernatural elements thrown in. Pounded In The Butt By My Closeted Lust For The Local Greaser Thugs Who Happen To Be Werebears. Just a strange mix of musical, horror, LGBT and beach movie.

Cosplay James Dean and his girlfriend here are in the middle of song when she promptly gets run over and surprisingly not killed. She’s just left in this sort of half brain dead state for the rest of the segment where she’s spouting random nonsense. This isn’t all bad as it lets him focus on his real love, Cosplay Albert Wesker.

What he doesn’t know is that leather daddy here is a werebear and, during a wrestling match, he gets bitten on the ass and infected with the werebear curse. There’s worse things you can be infected with through the ass. This does lead though to a homo-erotic argument cum slowdance set to the remarkably catchy ‘Love Bit Me on the Ass’ sung in a 1950/60’s rock and roll style.

But it’s a love that cannot last and Ricky knows he has to save the good people the only way you can stop a werebear, by sodomising them with a silver pole.

This one is certainly...different, I’ll give it that. I certainly wasn’t expecting a coming of age story dealing with the confusing world of the developing sexuality of the hormonal teenager so kudos to it for pushing some boundries.

Now, onto the reason I picked this one out, ‘The Diary of Anne Frankenstein’. My gosh, what a glorious pun. I should have known just from that that I shouldn’t take this movie seriously so I’m not sure why I was so surprised when it turned out to be a goofball horror comedy but oh well.

I don’t know quite what I was expecting from this but I still feel letdown slightly. It just feels like an excuse to poke fun at Hitler by making him a bit stupid but I feel we already explored this idea quite thoroughly in the Producers. Still, I guess they had to make things up a bit considering this involves creating a Frankenstein monster from the limbs of concentration camp victims. Christ.

It does end with the Monster beating Hitler to death with his own arm before dancing over his decapitated corpse so it does have it’s upsides.

We then get faked out with the next segment ‘Deathication’, a movie so scary it will make you shit. Only, the projector starts playing up and the movie cuts out. I for one am glad because the 30 seconds we see of this was bad enough, I don’t think I could have taken a whole segment of it. Te come to find that the drive in owner is being attacked by dickless who has turned full zombie. Turns out his special brand of butter has contaminated all the popcorn and turned the patrons into zombies as well.

That is to say, randy zombies that engage in a blood orgy that would make the people in Event Horizon blush. People are giving blow jobs to intestines, stump fucking, spit roasting people before tearing them in half and engaging in even more stump fucking.

It feels like someone else wrote this section specifically because it turns into the drive in owner going out in a blaze of glory, bandoliers and weapons strapped to his body as he tries to save the last few kids left alive. All the while he’s just speaking almost exclusively in movie quotes, most notably when he sodomises one of the zombies with his shotgun and invites it to say hello to his little friend. Lot of sodomy in this flick.

I’d say this matches what I’ve come to expect from anthology movies, strong book ends with an indifferent middle. Wadzilla is a cheesy take on the old giant monsters and the zombie outbreak at the end is a bizarre spectacle. If you’re into those Troma type movies, this one is worth looking at.

#Halloween 2019 #Chillerama

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twodaysintojune · 5 years

Text

Creepin’ up The Backstairs

Supernatural, Debriel, Warnings-None

One Shots Masterlist, Long Stories Masterlist

Find me at AO3

Made for @debrielcc Creations Challenge, Song Prompt: Creepin’ Up The Backstairs by The Fratellis

There was a knock on the glass, one, two, three times before Gabriel finally realized there was someone knocking, standing up from his desk he moved the curtains aside. He almost screamed when he saw the shadow of a guy in front of him until he realized it was Dean. Quickly, he opened the window.

“Dean what the hell? How did you get past the fence?”

Dean sent Gabriel a smile so bright and warm while entering the room that Gabriel felt the air leave his lungs for a second.

“Heard you came back from that stuck-up boarding school, old man Beckett let me in.”

Gabriel beamed at his old friend, the moment he came back from France he was about to run to Dean’s house when his father forced him to stay and meet some unknown relatives that were most likely trying to lick dad’s boots to receive a loan from him for a truly stupid enterpise.

He hated it, hated the fact that they were ‘nobles’ and ‘rich’ and that they were supposed to act like it. That was why he loved Dean so much, he was unfazed by the nobility thing and always treated him as his friend. Gabriel still felt stupid when he remembered how troubled he had been that first time they met to hide the fact that he belonged to the Payne family and also remembered fondly how Dean took it all in stride and waved it aside, the last name was not important, what was important was Gabriel. Looking at it in hindsight that might have been the moment Gabriel fell in love for him.

Of course Dean didn’t know that. As far as Gabriel could see, Dean considered him a friend and just that. Yes, they were thick as thieves, much to both of their families chagrin but he had never shown any kind of romantic inclination towards him. It was sad to admit that this crush was very one sided but that didn’t stop him from having fun and enjoying Dean’s company so he was definitely not ready to let him go. Maybe when Dean eventually found someone else he would have to make a choice but not today.

Especially not tonight. Not when Dean’s cheeks were red from running and the cold winds of December and they looked ready to be kissed. Thing that Gabriel did immediately pecking both of Dean’s cheeks while hugging him, following the French tradition, so excited that he didn’t notice how his friend tensed slightly under his hold.

“Oh man, you just don’t know how much I’ve missed you!”

Dean snickered nervously. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“So what brings you here?”

“Ah uh...” Dean seemed to space a moment looking at Gabriel. He blushed and coughed a little. “I thought we could sneak away, there’s a couple of new bands performing at the club I’m sure you’ll like.”

“Awesome! Yeah sure, lemme get some clothes and we can go.”

“Oh and…”

Gabriel turned towards Dean once more, waiting for his words, nodding at him to prompt him into speaking.

“I was wondering if we could, uh, you know… Grab the car?”

“The car?”

“Yeah, you know, The Car.”

“Oh, oh!” Gabriel laughed mischievously while taking off his pj’s and putting in some old worn jeans, a dark Black Sabbath t-shirt Dean had gifted him for his birthday and black leather boots. “Yeah sure! We can sneak downstairs through the service stairs, I bet Mrs. Bell is knocked off with those sleeping pills she gets.”

Gabriel turned to find an awkward looking Dean.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing, uh, it’s good to see you here.”

Gabriel beamed at him.

“It’s good to see you too.”

So they sneaked into the garage to steal Michael’s car. The car, by the way was a classic 60’s cherry red Roadster that Michael kept in mint condition. Gabriel had been impressed when he saw it for the first time, moreso considering the fact that he couldn’t believe his down-to-earth brother was able to have such good taste in cars, maybe it was the ‘classic’ part of it that had called his attention but in the end, Gabriel was not going to complain. Especially when he knew for a fact Michael still left the car keys in the same place at the garage despite knowing his little brother liked to take it out for a ride from time to time. Okay, so maybe Michael was not as stuck up as he looked, Gabriel thought fondly. He was going to miss him if he decided to move after the marriage.

This time, Dean was on the wheel. They zoomed through the open roads for a while and left the car on a parking lot, knowing Michael would kill him if anything happened to it. Soon after the engine was killed, Gabriel took out his kohl stick and began to line his eyes. Dean shifted in his seat.

“Dude, you look good already, leave the makeup for the girls.”

“There’s never enough makeup when it comes to the guyliner Dean, maybe you should try it too.”

Dean snorted, he looked at Gabriel with a glance he was unable to read until he made up his mind.

“Alright then, turn me into a clown.”

Gabriel barked in delight with Dean’s comment while he leant towards him to start the job. They were close enough but Gabriel was more concentrated on not poking Dean’s eye by mistake.

“I knew I’d convince you one day.”

“You just like being pushy.”

“Shut up, you love me pushy.”

Dean stayed silent for a while while Gabriel finished the delicate job. Once he was done he began to put the eyeliner away.

“Yeah, I do.”

The words had been but a whisper but in the middle of the silence of the parked car it had been just as clear as daylight. Gabriel paused his actions and lowered his hands to look, really look at Dean. And it struck him like a lightning to realize that while Dean was undoubtedly handsome, the guyliner he had just placed on him made him ten times more attractive. And this attractive guy was looking at him in a way he knew for a fact he had never been addressed before.

“Dean?”

A car blaring out hip-hop music loud enough to wake up an entire block searching for a spot rushed in front of the Roadster, startling them. Dean coughed a bit.

“Come on, lets go.”

They ran through the couple of streets they had to cross to get to the club. It had been a good thing Dean had convinced him of using his warm lined corduroy jacket instead of the leather one. He had forgotten how cold things got at home.

Once inside the bar they were received by the gang; Charlie and Gilda, Mick, Ash and Jo greeted Gabriel warmly. Meanwhile, Dean took their jackets and headed to the personnel entry door. Gabriel stopped him just a second.

“You gotta work today?”

“Only half the shift, Jessica took Sam to some weird ass French movie, don’t even ask.”

Gabriel snorted, he was sure Dean only thwarted Sam’s chance of getting laid because he was expected to as the older brother. He screamed at him from half away.

“Cut him some slack man, the poor kid will die of blue balls!”

Dean turned around.

“Hey, I give him enough slack at home with the studies for the entrance exams, I won’t budge anymore.”

Gabriel moved his head in disapproval but he was still smiling. That probably had been the exact same answer the younger Winchester must have got. In the end all three of them knew Sam was still gonna get laid because he was not going to watch any movie, he was only not gonna be able to cuddle later.

The club began to fill itself with a lot of new faces, most likely followers of the bands that were going to play that night and sooner than later Gabriel saw the bar filling itself with countless girls that screamed in awe while he saw a bottle soar through the air. He wanted to get near to watch Dean do his bartender magic tricks but the crowd was so tight he wasn’t even able to see him through the people. He was sure the guyliner he had given him was also helping a lot with the charm.

Sighing a bit disappointed he turned back to the conversation only to find Charlie looking at him with knowing eyes.

“What?”

“What? You’re asking me what? Come on Gabe, you’re head over heels for Dean!”

Gabriel shrugged trying to play it cool. “So? It’s not like I’m hiding it anyways.”

“You’re not gonna do anything about it?”

At this point everyone else on the group turned to look at him, by the look of their faces they had obviously been desperate to ask him for a while now.

“Wha—!? Of course not! He’s my best friend! I’m not gonna risk what we already have because of my stupid crush.”

All their faces went down.

“Oh come on man! It’s Dean we’re talking about, he’ll definitely take you!”

Gabriel was about to retort when he stopped for a second.

“Okay, how much did you guys actually bet on me confessing?”

Everyone immediately began to laugh.

“It’s quite some actually, Kali and Bela said both of you are too much of a coward and nothing will happen.” Ash chimed in. “I’m rooting for Dean though.”

Gabriel tried his best to throw a judgemental glare to his friends until something in Ash words clicked in.

“What do you mean you’re rooting for Dean?”

Jo barked a laugh. In fact everyone did.

“Oh. My. God.”

“Are you being serious now Gabe?”

“I can’t believe this!”

“Okay guys come on, he wasn’t around to see what we saw. Actually, it’s because he wasn’t around that we saw it.”

“What? What did you see?”

More laughter.

“Well you see, three months ago, when your brother Michael got engaged—”

“Don’t tell him!”

“Oh come on guys!”

“I’m sorry Gabe, if you really want to know you’ll have to ask Dean.”

The banter between everyone went down to some gossip about the general whereabouts of everyone in life now. In the end most of them were able to see each other only on vacations now that they were studying in College so it was a good time to catch up. A few hours later, Dean joined them with a bucket of beers for everyone. Everybody cheered.

“Hey guys, what did I miss?”

“Hey, Dean, why don’t you tell Gabe what happened when we heard of the Payne engagement?”

Gabriel turned to Dean honestly curious, he really didn’t know what reaction to expect given the fact that none of their friends had wanted to spill the beans but he still got a bit startled when he saw Dean’s usually laid back features stiffen and his entire face turning red. Gabriel tried to ask him with a look but he distinctly avoided his gaze. Feeling a little taken aback by Dean’s avoidance Gabriel snickered nervously.

“It’s okay guys, it’s obviously not something that funny.”

Dean looked troubled for a second before he stepped in to try to help Gabriel feel better.

“No, no it’s okay I… uh, I dropped some bottles.”

“You... dropped some bottles?”

“Yeah, because they announced it on the news, remember?” Ash chimed in and went to imitate a news host voice “Exciting news for today folks! A new engagement has been formalized between the Payne and the Byrne households!”

“And just like that, Dean dropped the bottles!”

“Okay?”

“Don’t you get it Gabe? He dropped the bottles because of the shock!”

Dean fidgeted looking extremely uncomfortable while everybody held gloating faces.

“...Is it that weird to imagine Michael getting married?”

Everybody groaned, Dean deflated as if he had avoided a landmine.

“Guess I’m just weird! Now let’s drink guys, I need to wet my throat a bit.”

Dean was a bit too forceful but nobody complained. The rest of the night went by without an issue and Dean drove Gabriel back to his place. Once inside his room, Gabriel proceeded to remove their eyeliner, which proved to be harder than putting it on since Dean was doing a very poor job at staying still, every time Gabriel approached him, he stepped back.

“Damn it Dean, if you’re not going to let me do it then do it yourself!”

It seemed like that helped Dean snap out of whatever it was that was making him go back. He steeled himself and looked at Gabriel.

“I… I’m sorry.”

Gabriel sighed and went back to removing Dean’s eyeliner, he finished the first eye and moved to the second while Dean seemed to rummage something. He opened up the moment Gabriel was done.

“I thought it was you.”

“Huh?”

“The one getting married. I thought it was you.”

Gabriel looked at Dean blank for a second until it dawned on him what he was trying to say. Mick’s words came back to him and hit him like a train.

“Don’t you get it Gabe? He dropped the bottles because of the shock!”

Gabriel’s eyes widened in realization. Did this mean that Dean actually liked him? Maybe it had just been the shock of hearing about your friend’s marriage but then he wouldn’t have dropped the bottles, right? He stayed silent, he didn’t even know what to say, what if he was thinking way too much about this? What if Dean had really just been shocked because they were friends? What if…?

Gabriel’s train of thought halted and crashed when Dean leant towards him and kissed him.

With a started noise and a sigh, Gabriel dropped everything and rushed to hold Dean’s face between his hands. Enticed by Gabriel’s actions, Dean moved forward and roughed him to get closer to him. Opening their lips and searching into each other’s mouths, gliding hands through their chests and biting softly each others lips, the kiss quickly heated up the moment they took each other’s shirts off when Gabriel’s door opened and in came a fairly drunk Lucifer who groaned at the sight, startling them.

“Oh for fucks sake Gabriel, get a room!”

Gabriel quickly deadpanned at his brother’s remark.

“Lucifer, this IS my room.”

Lucifer blinked a couple of times and looked around.

“Oh… well... lock the damn door next time!”

Gabriel threw his shirt at his older brother while he closed it back and went to properly lock it this time. When they were sure Lucifer was not going to try to come back, the guys turned to look at each other and began to laugh.

#debriel #debrielcc #dean winchester #gabriel #supernatural fanfiction #fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #fanfic

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justincaseitmatters · 5 years

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Rewind: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Dr. Strangelove after 50 Years

Originally Published in KCActive.com in January 2014. On January 29, 1964, the world discovered something that Bronx-born director Stanley Kubrick had known for a few years: that the only appropriate reaction to the arms race was a dirty joke. In the five decades that have passed since then, countries that once frightened the world have fallen, alliances and rivalries have reversed, technologies have changed and Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb has become more enlightening, infuriating and, yes, hilarious with time. The Chess Master I almost feel sorry for anyone who is forced to discover this movie in a manner that's different from the way I did at age 11. For some reason, Kansas City's KCMO (now KCTV) broadcast the movie for a 10:30 p.m. showing, probably on a Saturday night. My mother, my younger brother and I congregated around the used black-and-white TV in my bedroom, knowing only that the film in question starred our favorite comedian Peter Sellers, from the Pink Panther movies, and that it might be important because the local paper said it was. I was delighted that my bedroom had turned into a mini-theater and that we wouldn't miss any beautiful color images. Gilbert Taylor's cinematography and Ken Adam's grand sets look just fine in monochrome. Other than the fact that the movie was in black-and-white, we knew nothing about the assault that was coming our way. For most adult viewers, Dr. Strangelove states its devilishly comic intents up front. The movie's notorious opening credits by Pablo Ferro feature a phallic arm fueling a plane in mid-air as a soft instrumental track of "Try a Little Tenderness" plays in the background. As the geeky son of a Baptist deacon, these amorous aircraft completely escaped my notice.

vimeo

My mother curiously remained silent, but soon the three of us were so thoroughly entertained that we stopped caring that Kubrick and co-screenwriter Terry Southern (the mind behind the kinky novels Candy, Blue Movie and The Magic Christian) were about to turn all three of us into "deviated pre-verts."

It's not surprising to learn that Kubrick once hustled chess in New York as a young man because he reveals his comic intentions gradually. During the the run up to General Jack D. Ripper's unauthorized nuclear assault upon the Soviet Union, my family and and I thought we were watching a straight nuclear war drama. It wasn't until General Ripper made the following declaration at 24 minutes into the film that we discovered that Kubrick was taking the movie into a direction all his own:

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

youtube

Hearing deep-voiced actor Sterling Hayden utter the word "fluids" without a hint of levity in his voice sent all three of us into hysterics. From here on we knew something was up and that the footage we saw previously was laced with comic venom. We finally noticed Ripper's name and that the pilot of one of Ripper's B52s is Maj. T.J. "King" Kong (played by former rodeo clown Slim Pickens). All Too Real Dr. Strangelove is loaded with characters afflicted with gag names, and sometimes these absurd monikers aren't obvious on an initial viewing. The Soviet Ambassador is Alexi Desadesky (British actor Peter Bull), the President of the United States is Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), and his top strategist is a former Nazi known as Dr. Strangelove (Sellers, again). While Kubrick and Southern came up with a cornucopia of silly names with sexual connotations, the scenario in Dr. Strangelove is uncomfortably realistic. As more information from the Cold War has become publicly available, the scenario Kubrick, Southern and a Welsh Royal Air Force officer Peter George (from George's 1958 novel Two Hours to Doom a.k.a. Red Alert) cooked up was far from outlandish. Throughout history wars have been started for causes as inexplicable as fluids and water fluoridation, which General Ripper believes has made him impotent. Mental illness and just plain foolishness can strike at anytime At the beginning of Dr. Strangelove, a disclaimer informs the viewers that the U.S. Air Force has safeguards to prevent the deadly events in the film from occurring. Not really. Around the time that George was writing his thriller about facing nuclear annihilation, Daniel Ellsberg, the future leaker of The Pentagon Papers, discovered that Washington's policy toward who could launch a nuclear attack and when was a mess. In theory, only the president had authorization. Ellsberg, a recent Harvard PhD grad from working for the RAND Corporation, recalled in his 2002 book Secrets: A Memoir of Vietnam and the Pentagon Papers:

I learned, for example, the secret that contrary to all public declarations, President Eisenhower had delegated to major theater commanders the authority to initial nuclear attacks under certain circumstances, such as outage of communications with Washington--an almost daily occurrence in those days--or presidential incapacitation (twice suffered by President Eisenhower). This delegation was unknown to President Kennedy's assistant for national security, McGeorge Bundy--and thus to the president--in early 1961, when I briefed him on the issue.

In other words, Gen. Ripper and his ilk had already been given a sort of green light. On both sides of the Iron Curtain, only whims of fate seem to have prevented nuclear first strikes. According to David E. Hoffman's The Dead Hand: The Untold Story of the Cold War Arms Race and its Dangerous Legacy, on September 26, 1983, Soviet Lt. Col. Stanislav Petrov received a warning on his instruments informing him the Americans had launched a missile strike on his country. His satellites told him that five missiles were on their way to Mother Russia, but there were no visual sightings to match the alarms wailing at his base. Working simply on instinct, he correctly informed his superiors that no attack was taking place and that the warning system was malfunctioning. It's a good thing he did. Doing so prevented an unprovoked Soviet first strike. Petrov's hunch saved countless lives. Sadly, he had only minutes or seconds to make his fateful decision. The Killing Joke Unfortunately, decisions like Petrov's were all too often made at the last minute and in a state of panic. This is one of the reasons Dr. Strangelove is so entertaining and why satire might be a more effective way to point out the horrors of nuclear war. George's novel is a dark thriller, and Kubrick and George initially set out to make a straightforward adaptation of the book. During pre-production, however, Kubrick noticed that some of the situations described in the book, like the President informing the Soviets how to shoot down his own planes, seemed weirdly comic. George was disappointed by Kubrick's change of heart but later wrote a novelization of the film that even included gags that Kubrick didn't film or eventually cut from the movie (like a coda where space aliens wonder how the planet they've discovered called Earth is now a radioactive graveyard). George's later writing focused on the grim potential of nuclear weapons. Sadly, his concern for the subject may have been a factor when he chose to kill himself in 1966. Strangely, in the finished movie, the humor seems to emphasize how fragile a world with nuclear weapons really is. When word of Gen. Ripper's assault reaches the Pentagon, the news arrives, not to a commander ready to deal with the crisis, but to Gen. Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott) cavorting with his bikini-clad mistress (Tracy Reed). Actually, he's in the bathroom when the urgent call comes.

Similarly, the Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissoff (who, curiously, is never seen or heard in the film) is not at his office in the Kremlin toiling to make his nation a worker's paradise. So where is he when the Soviets need his attention the most? "You would never reached him at that number," says Ambassador Desadesky. "Our Premier is a man of the people, but he is also a man, if you follow my meaning."

youtube

I should probably add that he's also drunk. Disasters, whether natural or man made, rarely happen at moments that are convenient for us mortals. Kubrick and Southern spent a great amount of time figuring out where leaders might be and wondered what they might eat or drink during the crisis. That explains the improvised buffet table in the Pentagon's War Room. They also knew that leaders are human beings and that they are as prone to mistakes and panicking as anyone else. In most of the dramas that preceded or followed Dr. Strangelove, world leaders appear as conscientious or calm despite the heavy stakes involved. President Muffley, however, is understandably nervous and awkward in explaining the crisis to Premier Kissoff. Sellers improvised much of his dialogue, and the call between the two leaders is hysterically funny because it's impossible to think of a polite or an effective way to relay the grim message at hand.

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Kubrick's willingness to embrace panic eventually influenced more mainstream nuclear thrillers. In an interview I conducted with director Phil Alden Robinson for NitrateOnline.com over his 2002 adaptation of the late Tom Clancy's The Sum of All Fears, he readily acknowledged how Kubrick's comedy affected his own, more serious movie:

Kubrick is the best who ever lived. I have to believe that's what goes on behind closed doors. Once in a while, the President's emotions must get the best of him. Clancy once said, "If you put the leaders of a country in a room and tell them the decisions they make might lead to blowing up the world, only a sociopath would not have an emotional reaction." The most reasonable people in the world, by virtue of their reason, are going to be emotional and distraught and kind of at wit's end at some point.

Why I Still Love the Bomb As I've grown older Dr. Strangelove has become less of a movie to more and more of an old friend. Yes, it's odd that this cynical, fatalistic movie has such a fond spot in my heart. It's no spoiler to reveal that all of the human machinations in the movie fail to stop a nuclear Armageddon. It's also hard to think of a more clever or even nourishing film. Every time I come back to I learn new things. I spot gags that I missed when I saw the movie earlier. Kubrick consulted over 50 books during the making of Dr. Strangelove, and his attention to detail only shows up on repeated viewings. A friend of mine politely told me that Kubrick's movies like Lolita, A Clockwork Orange and 2001: A Space Odyssey are an acquired taste, but those of us who have picked up an appetite continuously love coming back to his films, waiting for new treasures hidden in their frames. One aspect that does hit me from watching the movie again and again is that Kubrick, contrary to what his detractors have contended, actually could create sympathetic and completely human characters. Kubrick skillfully manipulates the audience into liking the crew on Maj. Kong's B52. When a Russian missile stalks the plane, Kubrick wants viewers to feel for the crew. Unlike their commander, Gen. Ripper, their intents are not tainted by his madness. For the sake of the story, it would be best if the missile sent them to a fiery grave. Nonetheless, watching the crew trying to stay in the air is nail biting. Unlike his make believe characters, Kubrick understands that real people are the casualties of war. Gen. Turgidson is little better than Gen. Ripper because he has no sense of proportion or consequence. He suggests that proceeding with Gen. Ripper's strike would be worth it, even if millions die. "I didn't say we wouldn't get our hair mussed," he says. Curiously, time has actually made Dr. Strangelove funnier. When I've discussed the movie with younger people, they've told me that the reasons we and the Soviets looked at each other with dread now seem remote and ridiculous. They're fully aware that the world is still a dangerous place, but they understandably think that fluoridation is not good reason to risk the lives of troops. Kubrick was only 32 when he made Dr. Strangelove, but he wound up making something that continues to enrich our lives long after his death in 1999. Through his love song to the bomb, he's revealed how far we as human beings have to grow to become responsible stewards of the technology we have. It's doubtful he could have conveyed this message so eloquently with a straight face.

#dr strangelove #Stanley Kubrick #Dan Lybarger #KCActive.com

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sabraeal · 5 years

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Flapping Lips

Massively late for the Obiyuki Soundtrack Challenge, but this is for track 2. Part of Go For Broke

Kai’s a good kid; Obi’s never quite been sure exactly what his job title is -- bouncer? butler? bodyguard? Both him and the older guy seem to share whatever job gets thrown at them, all in unironic ascots and tails -- but he leads Obi straight out to the poolside when he arrives, murmuring, “Miss Arluleon has been waiting for you.”

Good thing he wore black today; at least none of these turkeys would see him sweat.

“That so?” he manages, adjusting his hat. “Can’t wait.”

The first time he’d seen the soon-to-be Mrs Izana Wisteria, she’d been splayed on a bunk in the barracks, all legs and sun-kissed skin, blonde hair bobbing over bare shoulders.

The new Betty Grable, Hiro had said proudly, showing off his collection of pin-ups. Obi hadn’t known there was anything wrong with the old one, but there was something about her, barely eighteen and all tits and ass and sunny smile. She’d been the wallpaper of every place he’d bunked down, sharing space with Vargas girls and Rita Hayworth as men talked about their girls back home.

Now’s not the time to think about how most of them never made it.

Obi’s never held a hundred dollars in his life, never even seen Franklin except in school books, but here he is now, standing at the end of million-dollar legs, all 35-22-35 above them wrapped up in a white bikini that would have been an instant favorite in the bunks.

There hadn’t been many good times in the war, but what ones there were, Haki Arluleon was there. She just...doesn’t know that.

Her chin tilts up, and beneath her wide sunglasses and brimmed hat, her lips spread into her signature smile.

“What do we have here?” she drawls, angling herself so the oil on her skin glistens, so that she looks like one of those bronze statuettes her set are so keen to hoard. “Mr Private Investigator, I presume? Izana did tell me you’d drop by.”

She arches a brow, somehow coy and innocent at the same time, and -- ha, maybe she does know about those good times.

“Obi,” he says, taking the hand she offers. Despite the lean curve of her body, her grip is strong; a businessman’s daughter through and though. “No ‘mister’ needed.”

“Obi.” The way her lips wrap around his name is like something out of a Bogart movie. “No last name? How mysterious.”

He grins at that. “A little bit of mystery in this town can go a long way.”

“My my,” she says, too pleased. “I wouldn’t expect that sort of sentiment from a man in your line of work.”

It’s dangerous, this Bogart-and-Bacall banter they have going; it makes him want to like her, want to think that she couldn’t have anything to do with the bad business stinking up this house.

He can’t help himself. “Without it I wouldn’t have much of a job, now would I, Miss Arluleon?”

“A fair point,” she allows with an enigmatic smile. “Though I can’t see why you’d look for one here. There’s nothing mysterious about Wistal.”

He wants to laugh -- even without Wisteria gasping his last with his pretty little nurse-turned-heiress holding his hand, there was probably more than enough dirty laundry in these walls to spend two lifetimes unraveling, let alone for the greenbacks Zen Wisteria waved under his nose.

Hell, everything in Wistal stinks to high-heaven, and here he is, the sucker who wants to believe Haki Arluleon smells like roses.

“Well, someone didn’t feel that way,” he hedges, though by her face, he can tell he might as well have named names for all the secret it was. “And I thought I might as well poke around. You know, since the lady of the house gave me permission.”

Obi’s watching her close, waiting for that smile to waver at the mention of the other woman, but instead that mega-watt smile only grows brighter. The skin around her eyes crinkles, and for one moment, he can tell she’s forgotten to mind her face, to remember that every real smile now is a dime she won’t make later.

“Shirayuki is always so accommodating, isn’t she?” The words are pleasant, but he doesn’t miss the sharp glint in her eyes as she watches him. “Such a doll. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

He catches himself reaching for his shoulder, flexes his hand instead. Obi’s not sure he’d go so far as to say Red’s been accommodating; he’d been surprised by her letter -- or her lawyer’s, really, even if the man swore the permission came from the young miss’s mouth herself -- but he wasn’t about to start calling it altruism.

People got antsy, trying to prove their innocence. Especially the guilty ones.

“She’s sure a lot of something,” he allows, leaning on the lounger. “But I’m not here for her, Miss Arluleon.”

“Is that so?” A curved brow arches over the rim of her sunglasses. “A pity.”

There’s a strange amount of sincerity in that.

She rolls toward him on her lounger, looking attentive. “But I’ll be as helpful as I can.”

“I appreciate it,” he says, wry. “Can you tell me where you were when Kain Wisteria died?”

She tilts her head, like she has to wrack her brain to remember, like she hasn’t already given this statement half a dozen times since the old man rattled out his last and shook all the tinsel in this town with it.

“In bed,” she says finally, slowly. “We’d had quite the late night, Izana and I. A party down at the marina. On Shenezard’s boat, I think. One of them, you know he has something like a dozen. His son was having a little soiree on one of the more...reserved yachts in his father’s fleet.”

Now that’s an interesting tidbit. Not to do with the investigation, of course -- alibis were such fickle things when their owners had the clams to make bodies disappear -- but the tabloids would love to hear something like that: Wisteria Heir Makes Time On Shenezard Pleasure Cruise.

“I didn’t think Izana kept up much with Raj Shenezard.” His father worked for another one of the Big Five, and by all accounts the Prince of Paramount ran with a faster crowd than Izana Wisteria would be caught dead with. “Must have been some party.”

“He puts in his appearances at a few of them, for old time’s sake.” She waves a hand. “And sometimes it’s the only place to catch who you need to see. Even some of the wallflowers come out for a party on a Shenezard boat.”

Obi wouldn’t know, but he nods. “This is the night before.”

“And the wee hours of the morning,” she laughs. “I don’t think we left before one, and by then it was much too late for me to be going all the way back home, so Izana insisted I stay here.”

He quirks an eyebrow. Another thing the supermarket rags would love to hear. “And I suppose this is your fiancé’s alibi as well?”

Without the help of colorists, it doesn’t seem like Haki Arluleon can blush, but she claps a hand to her cheek as if she had. “Why, of course not! I may have spent the night in Wistal, but we stayed in separate beds.”

“Of course,” he allows, wry. “And I’m sure you’re planning to keep that arrangement when you’re married too.”

She presses a hand to her heart, mouth curved to one side. “I live my life by the Hays Code, sir.”

Only because being in her unmentionables doesn’t break it. “Sure you do.”

“Why, I’ve already picked out the nightstand to go between our two singles.” Teeth flash behind red lips. “Mahogany and marble tops all around.”

“Sounds dynamite,” he assures her. “But what about the morning?”

“Asleep,” she tells him, easy. “I don’t think I roused myself before noon. That was when Izana came in and told me --” she gasps, hand pressing to her chest -- “told me that Kain had -- had --” she makes a real show of struggling with the words -- “passed.”

It’s a good show; clear to see why she’s got so many of those metal statuettes at home, even though she’s barely scraping twenty-five, but he didn’t come here for a bunch of lines.

“Can anyone vouch for you, Miss Arluleon?” he asks, watching her dab at the corners of her eyes. He wonders how many of the chuckleheads down at the precinct have been taken in by her, if they all bought her Perils of Pauline act.

“I’m not sure.” Her lips purse into a thoughtful moue. “The staff must have seen me at some point, but there was no one...well, watching me sleep.”

It’s tempting to buy into her ingenue act even now, even knowing that she’s not a Grable but a full Bacall. Even more tempting to think that she is just how the nastier tabloids paint her: a gold-digger who made a name for herself with her legs and her measurements, a girl looking for a leg up in the movie world and found a man able to lift her tits and ass and all into the Olympus of Hollywood Royalty.

It’s tempting, but Obi is a man who does his research. Not some clown with a badge.

“How long had you known your father-in-law?” he asks, voice light, inquiring.

“Oh,” she sniffs. “Ages. Daddy hardly worked with anyone else, even in the studio. Only the best for Kain, you know.”

And there it is -- what sets the gumshoes above the flatfoots. So tempting to think a girl needs a leg up, when she looks like a dream wrapped in a fantasy --

But Haki Arluleon never has. Tabloids don’t care about colorists -- technicolor might as well be magic, for all they know -- but Hollywood does.

Kain Wisteria did. The rest of the world might see a pin-up reaching for the stars, but Haki’s practically Hollywood Royalty herself; after all, you don’t get a Swedish model mother by having a nobody as a father. Not in this town.

“Of course,” he says with a smirk. “How else would we have that Wisteria blue?”

Her smile freezes like a rictus on her face. “Arluleon blue.”

Sitting so close to her, he can tell why. Sure, it comes close to the shade of Izana’s eyes, to Zen’s, but --

It’s not their peepers that would be true to color on film.

He leans in, conspiratorial. “Can you think of anyone that would want to rub out Kain Wisteria?”

The piercing look evaporates, as if it never existed at all. “Oh, never.”

“Never?” She’s got to know that’s a bridge too far, even if he was a cop. If there were a thousand reasons to kill in this city, all but a hundred of them would have to do with the Big Five.

“Well,” she tilts her hair, coy. “He had been in the business for years. I’m sure he’s stepped on a few toes.”

An understatement of the century. Like saying Randolph Hearst was moderately wealthy.

“But someone who would want to -- to kill him?” She shakes her head sadly. “I can’t imagine it.”

“You know, people say Kain and Izana had been arguing in the days leading up to his death,” he presses.

She waves a hand, as if the idea itself was absurd. “It’s hard to thrive under a shadow as large as Kain Wisteria’s. Izana has been wanting to try his hand at directing for ages, but Kain was determined to keep him on screen as long as possible.”

“And you don’t think he’d try to get out from daddy’s thumb another way?”

She sighs, unimpressed. “It’s the same story all around this country. Boy doesn’t want to take over the family business, him and his father fight about it until we’re all sick of hearing it. Zen was trying to take some opportunities at another studio, and they’d all been having a fit about that too.” She shrugs. “Nothing anyone would kill over.”

He sits back, doesn’t tell her that happens all the time. People get tired of being bossed around, they fight back, and suddenly Pa’s on the floor with a crack in his skull. Or in this case, poison in his lungs.

“It’s all so unfortunate,” she sighs dramatically, settling back against the lounge. “Kain was an institution in this town, but he’s been ill for years. Gassed in the first war, you know. That’s the reason he had to drop out of acting. Ruined his voice, and all they wanted after the war was talkies.”

He hesitates. Now that he hadn’t know.

“That’s why he had Shirayuki,” she confides, keeping her voice soft. “Chronic infections. Every sniffle could be the end. It was only a matter of time until it was.”

Obi grits his teeth around the truth. Something tell him Miss Arluleon wouldn’t be so forthcoming if she knew what the papers in his pocket said.

“He died as natural a death as a man could in his condition,” she concludes. “It’s sad that some have got to see shadows in sunlight. Though,” she adds, a bit lower, “I suppose that apple never fell too far from its tree.”

“Is that what Kain was like?” Obi asks, a little too sharp. “Seeing shadows in sunlight? A few sandwiches short of a picnic?”

Her body goes rigid, just for a moment, and then she eases back into her sultry lean, her bright smile. “Of course not! Kain had his eccentricities, but so do all geniuses, don’t they?”

He nods. “So you can your soon-to-be father-in-law got along well, I take it?”

She gives him a reproachful look, as if she’s surprised he doesn’t know better. “Of course. I was his muse after all.”

Obi raises a brow. “Didn’t they say that about Haruto, back in her day?”

“And his first wife,” she adds, her playful tone taking an edge.

He blinks. “First wife?”

He’d known about Haruto -- a scandal that the rags still like to bring up whenever there was a good photo of Kain standing next to young starlets; she’d hardly been eighteen when he’d cast her in her first role, and before it’d even wrapped they were married, Kain nearly twenty years her senior.

But a first wife? That’s...something different.

“That’s the only way to be a Mrs Wisteria,” she says, voice tight. “Catch Kain’s eye.”

There’s something about the way she’s looking at him, like she’s willing him to hear the words she’s saying, but --

“Shirayuki!”

He blinks, head swiveling over his shoulder, back towards the house, only to find his nose practically brushing the cotton of a sensible skirt. Thoroughly ignoring his presence, she skirts around him, holding out a dripping glass.

Haki seizes it with gusto. “You’re a darling, Shirayuki. What would I ever do without you?”

The lady of the house offers a tight smile, pointedly not looking in his direction. “I’m sure you would manage.”

“I’d suffer,” Haki tells her, raising the glass to her lips. “After all, who else would bring me --” she sputters as she takes a sip, eyes wide -- “Why, darling, this isn’t gin at all.”

“It’s water,” Red tells her, brows raised. “It’s practically desert weather out here. You need to keep hydrated.”

Haki gestures out to the pool. “I have plenty of water.”

A long suffering look passes under those freckles. “Sitting by it doesn’t count.”

“It should.” Under Red’s unwavering look, Haki sighs, taking a sip. “If you’re up anyway, darling, do you mind heading back inside? I need a little gin to help the water go down.”

If Red were any less of a lady, she’d roll her eyes. As it is, she just muffles a sigh. “Of course.”

Nowakoski pivots on the stacked heel of her Oxfords, military-sharp, and strides past him without a glance, like he’s no more than a stain on the pristine white of the lounge.

He clucks his tongue, gathering up his fedora. A dame like that should know that ignoring a man was more intoxicating than come-on. At least men like him, who make their business digging up the skeletons everyone else would rather stay buried.

“If you’ll excuse me, Miss Arluleon,” he murmurs, getting to his feet, “I think I’m getting a little parched.”

Her mouth rucks to one side in a smirk. “And here I thought you’d come for me.”

Obi reaches out, gives her hand another shake. “Who’s to say you can mix business with pleasure?”

Her lips give a wry quirk, amused. “And here’s me, wondering which one I’m supposed to be.”

In the closed confines of the house, Obi can admit – he’s in a real pickle trying to suss out which one Red is himself.

There’s a right answer: between pin-up and zipped-up, it should be clear to any red-blooded man which one is the pleasure part of the equation. There wasn’t a boy in Camp Shelby that wouldn’t have given his best nut to have ten minutes with Haki Arluleon, sure, but –

But there’s a real economy of movement in Red as she nips behind the bar, a sort of focus he hasn’t seen since he crossed back over the Atlantic. She looks almost at home back there, even with the high collar of her blouse, and the school marm cut of her skirt. There’s enough booze on the shelves it’s daunting; he doubts there’s a single person in this house that’s tried a nip from every bottle, but she cuts through with hardly more than a glance, gripping a bottle’s neck with a sort of confidence that leaves him more than a little dry-mouthed.

“So.”

She startles, hand slipping on the lemon she’s juicing. Her eyes dart up, owlish and wary, watching him lean on the bar.

“What’s the most expensive thing here?” He makes a show of squinting at the bottles, like he knows a damned thing about anything that isn’t a couple of cents a bottle. “Whiskey?”

She stares. Arluleon would have made a fortune if he could capture a color like that on film.

“How about two fingers of that.” He knocks on the bar, like he’s at any old dive. “On the rocks.”

Her mouth tightens, lips pressing white.

“If you’re thirsty,” Red says with her politest voice, “I’m sure there’s a half dozen bars between here and the bus stop that would be happy to oblige.”

“Aw, kicking me out, Red?” he drawls, leaning on a fist. “After you gave me an invitation and everything?”

“I don’t believe that it included the bar,” she tells him primly, opening a jar of what looks like powdered sugar – even now, he salivates just thinking about that much of it in one place – and mixing it in with the juice.

“Part of the investigation,” he fires back. “Perfect place to hide poison, isn’t it? An after-dinner drink?”

Her eyes narrow, just the slightest bit. “Then you’re picking the wrong spirits. Mr Wisteria wasn’t a whiskey man.”

Those flushed cheeks, those ruffled feathers – just what he likes to see. People are so much easier to grill if they’re about to blow a gasket. He grins. Only thing left is to apply the right pressure.

He eyes the top button of her blouse, closed prudishly at her throat, the trailing bow that ties over it, contrasting neatly with crisp white. Good thing he knows just what laces to tug on girls like this.

“Now that’s what I’m looking for,” he drawls with a wag of his eyebrows. “Some moxie. Been missing out there with our Able Grable.”

This should be the point where she preens a little, where Cinderella takes a little joy at poking at one of her stepsisters, but –

Instead her expression shutters, shoulders tense as she tosses him an incredulous look. “If that’s what you think after talking to Haki, then Zen should have saved his money.”

It’s his turn to stare, for his jaw to practically come unhinged. That’s not – that’s not how the script is supposed to go. The hard-working Girl Friday and the Femme Fatale are not – not –

Friends.

“I may not…agree with Zen’s feelings,” she says haltingly after a moment. “But I respect that he needs to…to know. Beyond a shadow of a doubt.” She fixes him with a look. “So let me tell you that Haki is far cleverer than men like to think. And that’s the way she likes it.”

He recovers enough to ask, “Clever enough to murder a man?”

She lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Kain Wisteria died of pneumonia.”

Not according to the paper burning a hole in his pocket. “That wasn’t the question.”

She stares at him them, hard. “In my expert medical opinion, it doesn’t require much cunning at all to kill someone. It was harder to keep Mr Wisteria out of his bed than in it, at the end. But do I think Haki would kill a man? No.”

Obi taps his glass, watching her pour the gin, mix in the syrup, crush some ice. His chest burns where the paper sits, Suzu’s scrawling script practically tattooing itself into his skin. It’d be stupid to bring it up, to tip his hand early, but --

But there’s something about this girl that makes him want to ruffle her a little. Shake some of that blind confidence in the goodness of man.

So of course, he does. “You know, I had a friend look over your notes, and the ones from the coroner.”

Her eyebrows lift, unimpressed. “Is that so?”

“He works over at the university,” he says. “A real egg-head, you know? His boss is some big shot in medicine. Wise? Wives?”

“Weise?” she prompts, gaze swiveling toward him. “Your friend works for Shidan Weise?”

He’s not sure what the big deal about that is, besides that he made some…antidote for something during the war. Suzu’s explained it, but it all flies over his head. Still, it’s got Red’s attention, which is what he needs.

“Apparently,” he leans in, conspiratorial, “it all looked like pneumonia. Both you and the coroner’s notes agreed. But.”

She leans in, just slightly. “But?”

“The coroner’s report mentions something interesting.” He pitches over the bar, just a little more, until he can smell the soap on her skin. “An edema in the nose.”

She rears back, face ashen. “Edema?”

He nods. “Yeah, you know, some swelling --?”

“I know what an edema is,” she tells him, flatly. Her fingers drum on the countertop. “Do you happen to have that report?”

“Made a copy,” he says, showing it to her. “But I --”

It’s gone from his hands in seconds, Shirayuki poring over the words as her face goes stark white.

“I-interesting,” she murmurs, before adding, slightly louder, “But I’m not sure if – that’s not entirely – conclusive.”

“Well,” he drawls. “I think I can draw a conclusion from it.”

Her hands shake as she sets the paper back down. “If you’ll excuse me, Haki asked for that drink some time ago.”

She steps out from around the bar, hurrying toward the poolside.

The glass sits on the bar, sweating, forgotten.

#obiyuki #obiyukisoundtrack #track 2 #akagami no shirayukihime #noir au #Go For Broke #my fic #ans #FINALLY THIS PIECE IS FINISHED #i had a couple more planned for winter challenge #but unfortunately i just didn't have time #BUT THE OUTLINES ARE ALL THERE #and like...a fourth of a draft for the other one #so ONE DAY #one day i'll get to write them

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joeygoeshollywood · 6 years

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My 25 Favorite Films of 2017

It’s hard to believe that 2017 is already coming to a close. Here’s my 25 favorite films from the year!

25. Girls Trip

Perhaps it’s the Bridesmaids or The Hangover of 2017, Girls Trip is a fun, buddy comedy about a group of women who try to rekindle their friendship during a trip to New Orleans. Queen Latifah and Jada Pinkett Smith are always reliable and Regina Hall is an underrated lead, but it’s breakout star Tiffany Haddish that gets the biggest laughs.

24. All The Money in the World

All The Money in the World is a good film on its own, but what makes it historic is what went on behind the scenes. Ridley Scott pulled off the impossible by replacing its disgraced star Kevin Spacey with Christopher Plummer with only roughly a month ahead of its original Christmas release. The film is based on the events of the 1973 kidnapping of John Paul Getty’s grandson. All The Money is a highwire thriller, but it’s Plummer’s brilliant, cold-hearted performance that steals the show.

23. Okja

Korean director Bong Joon-ho behind such films as The Host and Snowpiercer debuted this gem. Okja follows a girl’s battle to protect her “superpig” from a juggernaut company that plans on turning her pet into food. This action adventure was easily one of Netflix’s strongest original films to date. The stellar cast includes Tilda Swinton, Paul Dano, Jake Gyllenhaal, Steven Yeun, Lilly Collins, and newcomer Seo-hyeon Ahn.

22. Battle of the Sexes

Emma Stone and Steve Carrell face off as Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs in the most historic tennis match in history. Battle of the Sexes is a fun, empowering, nostalgic sports dramedy from Little Miss Sunshine’s Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris.

21. Stronger

Based on the incredible true story, Stronger follows Jeff Bauman and his struggle for normalcy after surviving the Boston Marathon bombing. Time and time again, Jake Gyllenhaal proves to be one of Hollywood’s most under-celebrated actors today as he arguably gives the most challenging performance of his career. Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black) also deserves praise for her raw, emotional supporting role. Stronger is a powerful, moving biopic that reminds us that there’s always hope even in the darkest moments.

20. Split

After releasing numerous duds, it appears that M. Night Shyamalan is finally making a comeback. Split kicked off 2017 with a wild psychological thriller surrounding the kidnapping of three young women who’ve been imprisoned by a man with multiple personality disorder. James McAvoy gives a memorable performance as he channels well over a dozen personalities.

19. Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman broke the glass ceiling on many fronts: one being the first female-lead superhero blockbuster and such a blockbuster was directed by a woman. Gal Gadot made her big-screen debut as the Amazon princess in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but she absolutely nails it in her first solo flick. Many have considered this film to be the strongest film in the DC Cinematic Universe yet.

18. Alien: Covenant

Ridley Scott certainly kept himself busy this year. In the latest chapter of this deep-space horror franchise, a colony ship makes a fatal detour on a planet filled with our favorite aliens. Accompanied by an all-star cast, Michael Fassbender is on double duty with two fantastic performances. While Prometheus settled the groundwork, Alien: Covenant returned to its heart-pounding roots that made these films such a big success.

17. It

Very rarely do remakes exceed its predecessors, but the 2017 remake of Stephen King’s It really deserves praising. Bill Skarsgård managed to make Pennywise his own with his terrifying interpretation of the murderous clown. That being said, the film heavily relies on the tremendous cast of young actors including Jaeden Lieberher, Sophia Lillis, Finn Wolfhard, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Chosen Jacobs, and Jeremy Ray Taylor. Filled with good scares and disturbing imagery, It will have a new generation afraid of clowns.

16. Darkest Hour

Gary Oldman gives a transformative, Oscar-worthy performance as British Prime Minister Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour. The film takes place during the chaotic transition period the United Kingdom face in the midst of WWII and gives a glimpse of Churchill’s bumpy start to his successful era of leadership. Darkest Hour is a captivating drama with sprinkled humor throughout.

15. Get Out

Part horror, part thriller, part social satire, Get Out marks the directorial debut of funnyman Jordan Peele. An interracial couple is put to the test when the black boyfriend visits the white girlfriend’s family, but once he gets there, he’ll learn that her family may have something sinister planned for him. While it’s sort of hard to explain it, Get Out is a unique, thought-provoking, movie-going experience unlike any other in 2017 that’s carried by a strong cast and an intriguing plot.

14. The Wedding Plan

Chances are you haven’t heard of The Wedding Plan, but it’s one of the most relatable films of the year. This Israeli romantic comedy follows an anxious bride-to-be who decides to keep her wedding date after her fiancé dumped her just weeks before and literally relies on faith in order to find a groom before she walks down the aisle. Yes, the plot’s that zany, but Noa Koler’s heartwarming and heartbreaking performance truly carries the film.

13. Dunkirk

It’s been three long years, but Christopher Nolan returned with an immersive war flick Dunkirk, which depicts the underdog WWII rescue effort of the British military that was surrounded by German troops. While there isn’t exactly a straight-forward plot, the incredible cinematography, editing, and sound design keep audiences on the edge of their seats.

12. War of the Planet of the Apes

An epic conclusion to one of the strongest trilogies in recent memory, War of the Planet of the Apes was a rare reboot that actually exceeded its predecessors. For three films, Andy Serkis brilliantly humanizes the lead ape Caesar as the climax escalates the brutal battle between human and ape.

11. The Shape of Water

If Beauty and the Beast and Creature From The Black Lagoon had a beautifully weird baby, it would be Guillermo del Toro’s latest film The Shape of Water. The story surrounds a mute janitor who forms a relationship with a creature trapped in the laboratory she works at and her personal mission to help him escape. She doesn’t even speak a word, yet Sally Hawkins gives one of the best performances of the year and she’s joined by a spectacular supporting cast including Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, and Michael Stuhlberg. Visually stunning and emotionally enthralling, this is del Toro’s best film since Pan’s Labyrith.

10. Call Me By Your Name

An emotionally complex film, Call Me By Your Name tells the story of a romance that blossoms between a 17-year-old boy and his father’s 24-year-old research assistant. In the wake of the #MeToo movement, such an inappropriate relationship would/should be frowned upon, but as viewers, you sympathize with Elio and Oliver not just because they’re likable characters but for the powerful performances that came with them, particularly from breakout star Timothée Chalamet.

9. The Killing of a Sacred Deer

The closest thing to an Alfred Hitchcock film in 2017, The Killing of a Sacred Deer is a suspenseful, psychological thriller that virtually no one saw. The film follows teenager who gets brutal revenge after a doctor failed to save his father’s life. Newcomer Barry Keoghan, who you’ve might have seen in Dunkirk, gives a unsettling, outstanding performance. Between this and his last film The Lobster, writer/director Yorgos Lanthimos is proving to be a filmmaker Hollywood should watch out for.

8. The Disaster Artist

If you haven’t seen The Room, it’s a 2003 film that has earned a cult following because it’s so incredibly bad, it became unintentionally hysterical. The Disaster Artist is about the making of that film with James Franco starring, producing and directing the film. Franco manages to earn big laughs and also give a transformative performance as the infamous Tommy Wiseau. With tons of A-list cameos and a brutal glimpse of the film industry, The Disaster Artist made the making of a painfully bad film painfully funny.

7. The LEGO Batman Movie

Not only was this a great animated movie, it was also a great Batman movie. The LEGO Batman Movie allows its self-awareness to drive the narrative that examines Batman’s relationship on a psychological level. Filled with tons of fun Easter eggs and references to previous Batman films, this LEGO movie will leave you nostalgic and laughing til it hurts.

6. Lady Bird

Actress Greta Gerwig makes a strong directorial debut with this down-to-earth coming of age comedy about a Sacramento teen transitioning into adulthood. In film after film, Soirse Ronan shows that she’s one of the best actresses in the millennial generation and Laurie Metcalf, who may win the Oscar playing her heartfelt but judgmental mother, shows that she’s one of the most under-celebrated actresses of our time.

5. The Big Sick

The greatest romantic comedy since Silver Linings Playbook, The Big Sick is a rare film because it feels authentic and real... and that’s probably due to the fact that it’s based on the stranger-than-fiction true story behind Kumail Nanjiani and Emily Gordon’s relationship. Nanjiani essentially stars as himself (which he does a terrific job) and has great chemistry with his co-star Zoe Kazan. Ray Romano and Holly Hunter give hilarious, heartwarming performances as the parents who meet Nanjiani as their daughter is in a coma. From the culture clashes, the comedy industry, to the modern era of dating, The Big Sick feels more relevant than ever and can resonate with any audience.

4. Coco

Disney/Pixar has a gift of continuously melting people’s hearts. And they do so again with their beautifully-animated latest, Coco. Miguel is an aspiring musician in a family that has banned music after his great grandfather abandoned them for pursue stardom. And after being transported into the Land of the Dead, Miguel must track down his ancestor in order to return home. The importance of art is obviously a theme, but the heart of the film is about family, pursuing our dreams, and the significance of leaving a legacy. Coco is rich with a cast of lovable characters, great music, and a satisfying ending that may leave you in tears.

3. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri may be a mouthful, but it’s also masterful work from writer/director Martin McDonagh. Frances McDormand gives an Oscar-bound performance as grieving, no-nonsense mother determined to pressure the police to solve the murder of her daughter. She is accompanied by a strong ensemble cast which include strong supporting performances from Sam Rockwell and Woody Harrelson. Three Billboards is the only film this year that will make you laugh, cringe, and anxious all at once. It’s the closest thing to Fargo since Fargo... and the Fargo TV series.

2. Baby Driver

Edgar Wright, the mastermind behind Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, finally found commercial success with Baby Driver, a terrifically-edited heist film with the greatest film soundtrack in recent memory. Aside from the uncomfortable fact this will go down as Kevin Spacey’s last great film, Ansel Elgort proves he’s got the chops for a leading role. With lots of well-choreographed action sequences and even some laugh, Baby Driver is absolute fun and is why we go to the movies.

1. I, Tonya

Who would have thought that it would take a dark comedy to make Tonya Harding look sympathetic? I, Tonya is a unique, Goodfellas-like biopic that gives multiple, not entirely reliable perspectives surrounding the infamous attack of Nancy Kerrigan. Margot Robbie offers a layered, grounded depiction of someone who was painted as a cultural villain. Allison Janney also knocks it out of the park as her cruel yet hilarious mother. The works of director Craig Gillespie and screenwriter Steven Rogers have spanned decades, but their collaboration here is the best of their careers. Combined with great editing and an awesome soundtrack, I, Tonya is a rare film in 2017 that isn’t just another remake, sequel, or ripoff; it skates on its own.

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