#This is the type of shit that used to get you sniped from both sides of the shitty discourse back in ye old days

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

If youre ok w sharing then i would love to hear your thoughts on lotor........ Hes such a weird guy. Dissecting him like a frog

If i get hate for this, i am blaming you/j but in all honesty i apologize if this kinda messy, as i have said it has beem awhile since i saw any of the episodes about him. Most of it is my personal interpretation and opinions of his character-

First of all i personally hate both "L0tor is evil rapist imperialist who did not have a single redeemable quality" and "L0tor is uwu poor baby who did nothing wrong", because yeah he had good intentions and he seemed to genuinely love Alura and care for Alteans but also he very much did do a lot of things Wrong. I am pretty sure a lot of his actions fall into category of Very Wrong

Lot0r to me is an absolute control freak, he has to be 10 steps ahead of everyone, he needs to be control of the situation no matter what. Whether it be through a silver tongue or by his blade (see N@rti's death, him vs White Lion). This is as much as a ruthless strategy as it is a trauma response. Being raised under Z@rkon, a father who only saw him as inferior half-bred, he had to learn survivor tactics. He will do anything to survive whether it be beg, lie, manipulate, and kill. He is a survivor of some genuinely godawful abuse he suffered for 10,000 years, combined with racism he suffered for being half altean

However this need to be in control extends to his allies and people he cares about. I am sure Lotor may have loved Alura, it doesnt change the fact that he very much abused her trust. Their entire relationship was based on a lie. He knew Alteans were still alive and not only did he not tell Alura about it he leaned into the "last survivors of Altea" for their relationship, which is why it was doomed since the beginning. And if it had not been this, then it would have been something else. Cause lying and manipulation are very much core of his character, that is how we are introduced to him

Like i see people going "Oh Lot0r could have been good if he had therapy and a hug", and i am not really not sure about it, cause like would he? Would he choose to be vulnerable and actually let his feelings out and be truthful in a an unbiased reliable way that will neither serve him in any way nor make him look better nor is a part of some machivilian scheme he cooked up because he doesnt trust the therapist he is paying? No

And thing is he does desire connection. He looks for connection in people who are similar to him. Half galran, altean survivors, Alura these are the people who he chose to get close to. He looks for similarities, people he can relate to, people who he sees as like him, people who he thinks can give him a sense of belonging. He is deeply lonely. However his desperation for control, absolute mistrust in anyone and everyone, and his inability to be actually honest dooms any relationship he'll ever have

Also this is probably just me, but for someone who is this morally complex character he has tendency to see things in black and white? Like it is His dad and empire= bad, alteans=good. He idolizes Altea to the point of seeing it as an Utopia, and this ideal was more important to him than any Alteans who are alive and with him. I also cant remember him ever caring about someone outside of the Dichotomy. Like at most i remember is after he became the emperor Lance pointing out how other planets need to be freed and he just brushed it off

Overall he gives me the "smart people dont always make good decisions, but they are good at justifying their bad ones" vibes. We dont know exactly why he decided to use alteans as batteries but i am choosing to go with my interpretation- "Lottor saw something fucked up in that future showing space whale thingy, decided the only way to solve was altean batteries except in true self fulfilling prophecy greek tragedy way it only made things worse and started a series of event that will cause the thing he saw causing real trouble a few years after his death.

Another thing! I think it should have been him being the focus of Evil Altean episode instead of A//ura. I hate that episode and everything it stands for but like if there Had to be an evil alteans episode then it should be around someone who is you know? Obsessed with Altean culture? Is big on control and manipulation? Is more geared towards big picture and "greater good" over individual? Is worried about turning into just like his galran father and so desperately wants to connect to his idealized version of his altean mother? Yeah

#empty answers #This is the type of shit that used to get you sniped from both sides of the shitty discourse back in ye old days #I probably have more thoughts but i also need to rewatch vld to have a clearer picture #Also i dont get when people say it was bad writing that he turned out traitor #Like it was handled in abhorent way but also- we are literally introduced to him manipulating an entire audience #The fuck yall mean yall thought he was genuine?? #I used to like him but come on man #That was the most obvious disney twist villain if i have ever seen one #and vld writers are not smart enough to do something actually subversive #Also gonna be real with you while i do have a lot of thoughts of him i kinda also dont enjoy his character?? #It is-how do i put it? A bit lame #Like the eps were going on about how he is this Most Complex Character and instead we have is- #a disney twist villain and sad anime backstory that is supposed to absolve him or something #I can think of so many villains/character that had similar aspects to him but were just Way Better #A convincingly manipulative man with black and white morality who thinks he is in the right even though his actions beg to differ? #B3los is right there #Villain who uses manipulation as a defense mechanism which only drive all their friends away? Grace monr0e and Sash Waybrigt #A tragedy who just wanted peace for his people only for things to spiral so horribly they destroyed the very people they sought to protect? #M0rdred pendrag0n hnoc my beloved <33 #A hot villain who is morally reprehensible but is really hot? M3dusa G0rgon <3 #And just. I think the problem is the writers wanted him to be all of those things and he ends up being none of them #Not to mention the plot armour. You mean to tell me he is being this obvious and yet no one suspected anything?? #Yeah right. Detective!Hunk for the win! #Anyway sorry this is late and so rambly #Thanks for the ask!!!! #Anyone else reading this. This is just a personal opinion ok? No fights ok??

[every-aj-needs-an-angel]

I read this amazing idea and this sorta wrote itself. I hope it's everything you were hoping for @piratefishmama

"ugh. fuck," Steve groaned into his pillow. He'd never felt worse.

What the hell happened last night?

It was dark, but there was daylight trying to peek through the curtains, so it must be morning.

Wait. Curtains?

Steve didn't own curtains, and neither did Robin.

Steve tried to focus his alcohol-soaked brain on his surroundings; he was in a hotel room, that much was obvious, and there was a napkin sitting under last night's wine glass on the bedside table, but as he reached over to rescue it, Steve caught a glimpse of a ring on his finger. Weird. Steve didn't often wear jewellery, rarely ever wore rings but... ah! Vegas!

Of course! Their post-firing Vegas trip. Steve turned his head on the pillow and automatically regretted it.

"ugh. robin," Steve murmured, "Robin," he tried a bit louder. She was still ignoring him, curled up in all the blankets, sleeping peacefully when Steve was suffering. Such a blanket hog, Steve thought churlishly. "ROBIN! Ow, fuck!" Steve hid his face back in his pillow, shouting was not the way to go.

"stop yelling," the body in the blankets grouched. Because holy fuck that most definitely was not Robin! "Who the fuck is Robin?" the guy groaned, finally deigning to stick his head out of the covers.

Steve lifted his head and blinked owlishly. That was a face he most definitely did not know. Jesus Christ! Steve launched himself upright, only just realising that he was fucking starkers in bed with a complete stranger. "Who the fuck are you?"

The guy had the nerve to smirk as Steve tried and failed to cover his modesty, but at least had the decency to pretend to be removing the sleep from his eyes in order to give him a modicum of privacy.

"Eddie," he introduced with a half-wave, that stupid grin still gracing his lovely features, "wha' 'bout you, Big Boy?" Eddie asked, cheekily waggling his eyebrows at Steve.

Steve could feel the blush burning his cheeks, he didn’t have control of enough of his faculties to deal with this, going home and pretending this never happened seemed like a great idea right about now. Steve slid himself to the edge of the bed, placing his head delicately in his hands, gearing himself up to get moving, preferably without seeing the contents of his stomach. “Steve,” he muttered.

He could hear movement from the other side of the bed, the sheets moving sounding like Eddie was rolling a dumper truck through the room, followed by a blissful silence that was only broken by a quiet "err, Steve?"

"yeah?" he whispered, not that it really did anything to ease the throbbing in his skull.

Eddie moved again and when Steve looked over, Eddie had leaned across the bed onto the pillow Steve had vacated, trying to get a better look at his hunched form, worrying his lip. Odd, he doesn't seem the type. "You aren't- are you? Wearing a ring?"

Huh? Steve's eyebrows scrunched together, he's not exactly used to waking up in bed with a stranger, but minor lifestyle choices aren't one of Steve's main concerns right now. "Yeah. Why? Men can't wear jewellery?" Steve sniped.

Eddie rolled his eyes so hard he was in danger of losing them, lifting both hands to show Steve the many rings he wore on his fingers. "No. Don't be dense!" Eddie reproached, waited a moment and sighed deeply at Steve's visible confusion, "Look at the finger it's on."

Shifting his left hand in front of his face, Steve glared at the plain gold band glinting up at him from his ring finger. It took a second but when the realisation finally dawned it knocked all the breath out of him, "oh. shit."

Steve looked over at Eddie wide-eyed to find him nodding in agreement with the sentiment. "Yeah. Oh. Shit." Eddie echoed.

This just didn't make sense! It'd been a long time since Steve had consumed so much alcohol, he probably hadn't been that drunk since high school, yet somehow someone thought he was in a fit state to enter into a legal contract! "I don't even- they can't've let us? We were drunk!"

Eddie just shrugs, doesn't look even nearly upset enough for Steve's liking. Steve glares at him trying to convey how insane this situation is, Eddie just gives him a look that says "it is what it is". Steve continued glaring, an internal monologue of this is insane, why aren't you freaking out? I'm freaking out! We're strangers and now we're married and oh god we're gonna have to get divorced! I'm gonna be divorced! I don't wanna be divorced! which clearly just frustrates him because Eddie just throws his hands in the air and shouts, "We're in Vegas!"

And suddenly all the fight sucks out of Steve, he slumps back over covering his face with his hands, feeling the slide of metal against his cheek and mutters "fuck. we're in vegas."

But he didn't come here alone! Robin! His best friend and platonic soul mate. And oh how Steve adores her because she's smart, she'll know what to do! "I need to find Robin!" Steve decides, jumping up off the bed, and immediately standing perfectly still so the room stops spinning. I just need to get dressed and find Robin, she'll know how to fix this!

Eddie still hasn't moved from his spot, lounging elegantly across the pillows, the sheet draped gracefully over him like some kind of artist's model. He raises a judgemental eyebrow at Steve, "Robin?"

Unhooking his jeans from the lampshade, Steve grins at Eddie, he's not the first person to assume they're an item. "My best friend," Steve clarifies, but Eddie doesn't look convinced, if anything he looks even more pissed off, his face doing that complicated, pissed off, 'I'm assuming I'm being lied to', twist snarl.

Steve looks, really looks, at Eddie. Steve doesn't know much about him, other than the fact that he's incredibly pretty because really eyes that big and beautiful should only be allowed on magazine covers! He's completely covered in tattoos, which is so hot, not to mention those rings! And he's cheeky as fuck and absolutely unafraid to stand up for himself, which is a first for Steve. People who don't know him usually find him a little intimidating, which is insane, but Robin assures him it's a them thing, not a him thing. And although that's barely anything to know about a person, Steve'd already dearly love to know who'd dare to hurt him, he'd just like to chat, honest. "She's a lesbian," he adds, just to really drive his point home.

It seems to surprise Eddie, his eyebrows shoot up before he grins back at Steve, all teeth and sparkling eyes, trying to hide his face in his mane! Because that's really the only way to describe the majesty of his hair. And oh he's blushing, that's adorable. Eddie clears his throat, sitting up a little straighter, "oh. Yeah. I should probably find Chris," he agrees like he's saying what he's thinking out loud, quickly clarifying, "she also likes women."

They're smiling gently at one another when the phone starts to ring, Steve striding back to the bedside to answer it, hearing Robin shout "Steveeeeee!!"

That sets the ringing off in Steve's ears again, ow! "Robin, shh!" Steve chastises.

Robin's uninhibited by Steve's grouchiness, "I just wanted to say... Congratulations!" she singsongs.

"You know about that?!" Steve's utterly bewildered, surely she wouldn't...

"We were there!" she shouts excitably, as though she'd personally been invited to Area 51, instead of witnessing something as stupid as Steve getting married, while too drunk to even remember the name of his husband.

husband! Steve thinks pathetically.

"we?" he asks meekly, hoping beyond hope he hadn't done something ridiculous like invite his mother or his ex.

"Me and Chris!" Robin shouts, in the background he hears another voice woo-hoo and then say something incomprehensible that makes Robin giggle.

Steve sighs, rolls his eyes because of course! And purposefully catching his eye, smiles exasperatedly at Eddie, "they're together," he informs him.

Eddie snorts a laugh and shrugs, "makes sense," he murmurs as though this is all completely normal behaviour. Maybe it is for them, Steve doesn't bloody know.

Turning back to his phone conversation, Steve asks, "Why'd you let me do that, Rob?" It comes out as whiny and pathetic as he feels, forcefully rubbing his forehead to try to ease the tension building there.

Robin barks a laugh, and she's right it is funny, no one's ever been able to stop Steve from doing anything he set his mind to. Doesn't mean he doesn't want someone else to blame for the fact that he doesn't remember his own wedding and that he's going to be divorced before he's thirty!

"You're in LOVE, Stevie! Who am I to stand in the way of love?"

Robin always manages to explain the most bizarre things as though they're completely ordinary, making them sound almost reasonable. It baffles Steve every damn time. Like she just said "You were sick Steve, so I took you to the doctor" instead of "You're in love with someone you met yesterday, so the obvious solution was a drunken wedding"!

Steve sighed, trying not to be annoyed with her, "Bobbie, I met Eddie less than 24 hours ago! What am I, a fucking Disney Princess?" the vitriol soaking his words would've upset most people, but Robin never flinched, even when he was being the world's biggest dick.

He could practically hear her eye roll through the phone, "No Dingus, you're not a Princess!" she sounded almost sympathetic for a second, but she couldn't hold back the bubble of laughter, "You're a King!" she proclaimed, cackling so hard she snorted.

She hadn't let up about "King Steve" since she’d found his yearbook, signed by all his dickhead "friends". She thought high school cliques were ridiculous, thought prom was even worse, and the idea that Steve had been so popular he'd been elected as an imaginary sovereign as part of their fabricated hierarchy had her rolling around the floor laughing for a solid ten minutes.

"Jesus Christ!" Steve muttered pinching the bridge of his nose, nothing was ever as funny as she thought it was when she was drunk, especially not when she was funny-drunk and he wasn't nearly drunk enough.

Robin stopped laughing abruptly and gasped as though she'd forgotten something. "Steve. Stevie. Evievievie! Guess what, I haven't been to bed yet!" she declared proudly. Steve had no idea what time it was, but as far as he knew the last time she'd slept had been on the plane, and that hadn't exactly been for very long.

"Maybe it's time for bed then?" Steve reasoned, trying to hold on to the last of his patience.

"No! Nooo, I'm with a girl," she whispered conspiratorially. oh jesus! Like he didn't know that!

He was far too sober for this Robin, it was fine when she'd do it in a club, wander over and be all "Steve, I've been dancing with a girl!" mainly because he was drunk enough to join in with her level of wonderment (even though he'd just watched her do it). Right now though, with the weight of his life choices on his shoulders, trying to wrangle his best friend was driving him slightly mad.

"I know," he whispered back. He could hear the pings and dings of the casino in the background, but other than her gentle breathing, Robin had gone suddenly eerily quiet.

He was just about to ask if she'd nodded off upright (it wouldn't be the first time) when Robin and Chris whined loudly, "We're bored, Steve!" jesus fuck! He had to move the phone away from his ear, so his skull didn't crack open. The fact that they said it simultaneously being equal parts creepy and adorable.

It was then that Eddie's stomach rumbled noisily, he'd been quiet and still the whole time Steve was on the phone, not even looking in his direction apart from when Steve spoke directly to him. That was until Steve's stomach grumbled in agreement, Eddie glancing up at Steve through his lashes, amusement dancing in his eyes and god when he smiled like that!

When was the last time any of them ate? Robin hadn't shut up about Vegas' newest waffle place (that had basically inspired the whole trip) since she'd heard about it from Gina in accounting. Maybe some food would do them all some good.

"What about some breakfast?" Steve suggested, he still had his eyes locked with Eddie's and found he wasn't just talking to Robin. Eddie nodded coyly, getting off the bed to gather his clothes from wherever they'd been flung.

"Oooh!! That's a great idea! You're so smart, Steve! I love you!" Robin squealed in his ear and Steve yanked his eyes away from Eddie as he sauntered naked around the room, staring purposefully at the napkin on the bedside, absentmindedly playing with the ring on his finger.

"I love you, too. You going for waffles?"

Steve liked to check in, it wasn't that he thought Robin was incapable of taking care of herself. He just worried. The love he felt for his found family had a depth he'd never thought himself capable of, and Steve didn't even know who he'd be without Robin by his side.

But Robin always knew him better than he knew himself, could practically taste the pensive thoughts through the line, "We're going for waffles, Dingus! Don't forget your husband!" she yelled and hung up.

"jesus fucking christ!" he muttered to himself, putting the phone down.

A husband! Steve didn't even have a job, let alone a career, but he somehow now had a husband. And the thing was, Steve couldn't even say he hated the idea. He didn't particularly like the idea of marrying someone he couldn't remember knowing, but he knew he'd always been one to fall too hard, too fast. His fuckbuddies were different, he could separate his emotions from sex under that context but the moment an actual relationship was mentioned suddenly Steve was all-in.

Maybe Eddie was an all-in kinda guy too?

Eddie had seemed flustered at first but he relaxed into it pretty quickly. It was intriguing to meet someone so laidback and spontaneous. Steve and Robin were always pretty happy-go-lucky, jumping from job to job without giving it much thought. But out of everyone they knew, they seemed to be the outliers, it was nice to meet such a free spirit.

Not that Steve had always been this way, of course, it was all Robin's good influence. From as small as he could remember his parents had brought him up to care more about what everyone else thought, than about his own thoughts, wants and opinions and honestly, it had him wound tighter than a springboard for the first twenty years of his life.

It was Robin who'd taught him that it was okay to do what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, that what he wanted mattered. It took a while but she got him to get to know himself, the real him, not the guy his parents wanted him to be. Steve kinda hoped he’d be able to get to know Eddie, like really get to know him, beyond just breakfast with their respective best friends.

Speaking of, Steve looked around to find Eddie had left the bathroom door wide open, a clear invitation to join him. Steve faltered for a second because they should probably talk first but honestly, it'd been a long time since Steve had felt as good as he did when Eddie smiled at him and he was kind of sick of denying himself things that felt good.

Fuck it!

As he shuffled towards the bathroom, Steve rescued the rest of his clothes from the floor, his shirt was still tucked inside his jacket, dropped carelessly just inside the room door. A vision flashed in Steve's mind, he and Eddie in the lift, he was shirtless and rutting against Eddie as they frantically made out, watching in the mirror behind him as Eddie licked and nibbled down his neck.

Holy shit! Steve had only ever that horny for someone in public in the relative privacy of a club bathroom stall. Anyone could've joined them in that elevator, hell there might've been someone in there with them, he didn't think there was but he couldn't remember. They were lucky they hadn't been arrested! Anywhere else and they might've been, but luckily Vegas was well known as the City of Sin. Hopefully, the hotel security were just used to it.

There was steam pouring from the bathroom by the time he'd pulled himself from his musings, the mirror above the sink showing nothing but a blurry outline of himself, not that he needed it to know he looked rough. The shower door, like the bathroom one, had purposefully been left wide open, steam billowing out along with Eddie's voice.

Because Eddie was singing, loud and angelic, over the sounds of the shower. It wasn't a song Steve recognised, something about the sun, the moon and a seal, Eddie could've been making it up for all he knew. Not that Steve cared, it was sublime. Pulling him in like a siren song, Steve couldn't help himself, he just kept inching closer.

And as heavenly as Eddie’s voice was, which was truly one of the most exquisite voices Steve had ever heard. It was nothing in comparison to the vision Steve was greeted with as he finally reached the shower. Eddie had his head tipped back, rinsing Steve's expensive shampoo out of his hair, the length of his neck alone had Steve salivating. There was a little tattoo poking out from under his earlobe that was practically begging to be investigated. And a single freckle sitting just to the left of his sternum that he felt the overwhelming urge to lick.

Steve didn't get more than a cursory glance at the rest of him because it was then that Eddie straightened up as though he'd sensed Steve's presence. As he wiped the excess water from his face with his hands, Steve noticed that Eddie had removed all of his rings except the shiny gold band that joined them, almost like he hadn't wanted to take it off.

Another vision came to him, of him sliding that very ring onto Eddie's finger, of him taking Eddie's hand and kissing the still cold metal, glancing up at a grinning, misty-eyed Eddie through his lashes, an overwhelming surge of joy exploding through his chest.

It made Steve giddy and he was suddenly unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face, Eddie beamed back, warm and inviting, little droplets of water catching in his eyelashes from the pressure of the spray hitting his skin as he'd watched Steve remember.

The breath was knocked out of him when he immediately felt the overwhelming need to touch Eddie, to be in his space, to kiss him so thoroughly that neither of them knew where one of them began and the other one ended.

And Eddie must be some kind of mind reader because a truly mischievous look overtook his features as he reached out his ringed hand to Steve's to yank him under the torrent and into his arms, giggling cheekily when he pushed Steve back against the freezing cold shower wall, happily swallowing Steve's shocked gasp.

Part 2

#i wrote so much i had to split it into chapters #i apologise in advance for all the tense changes and terrible grammar if i proof read this again it'll end up in the bin #the song eddie is singing is n.i.b by black sabbath if anyone is interested #steddie vegas au #steddie au #steddie #platonic stobin #platonic eddissy #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #steve's pov #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #aj writes

[yourboredcuck]

Pikmin 4 Cuckview

Pikmin 4 - A breath of fresh air amidst a stench of mediocrity and greed

Intro:

This intro is ass. It likes to pause the player every 5 seconds to either explain gameplay features or shove the story that no one cares about in your face. Super lame. A better approach would be to ask players if they have played a Pikmin game before? And then just allow them to skip the intro.

Time/Day Cycles:

This game has the least urgency in the entire series. There is no overarching day limit such as in Pikmin 1 & 2. So you can spend 1000 days exploring and no one cares if Olimar dies of starvation. Not having an urgency is a double edged spoon. On one hand if you suck you aren’t punished and on the other you are not incentivized to be efficient and there is no overarching tension that made Pikmin 1 a horror title.

Difficulty: 

Just like my cak this game doesn’t get very hard. You’d have to make the game more challenging for yourself by either speedrunning it or trying not to lose Pikmin. Also they skimped out on the bosses. They are mostly just returning bosses and not even the grandiose ones from Pikmin 3. 

Controls & Features:

Overall the controls work well and have enough variety in features such as charging all your Pikmin in at once and Oatchi partner commands.

There’s a feature where when you send out all your Pikmin of one type it changes to the next type. Unfortunately it does this when you are underwater and you can’t use other types so when the blues come back to you they are not selected and they get killed. 

There is this Moss chubber that attacks you in one of the stages. It's an interesting idea, but she eventually respawns after knocking her out. Reminds me of Mr X from Resident Evil 2 Remake. POS always seems to snipe me at the end of the day and then I actually have to use the baby-mode rewind feature because she’s a cheap bastard just waiting to cuck me right at the end of the day.

Content:

This definitely feels like a full game. Which is nice to see in the world of microtransactions. Overall the level design is good and doesn’t overstay its welcome. Some of the underground areas seem a bit sameish. Some points feel kind of like a super mario maker/dungeon maker. This is exaggerated later in the game during a multi-sequence dungeon.

Spoilers I guess: They added a homage remake of Pikmin 1’s campaign where you get to play as Olimar and collect 30 ship parts in a 15 day time limit. It’s not the same as the original, but allows for the use of Pikmin 4 features and is really cool to see as they really didn’t need to do this.

After you complete the game you get 10 extra challenge levels which are actually not always doable first try. It makes you really think about optimum routing and using both players, unlike the main story where you can practically do whatever you like.

NPCs and Side missions:

There are heaps of NPCs this time around compared to other Pikmin games, each of which has their associated side missions, unfortunately they are more like milestones which most players would achieve just by playing the game. These are a shallow attempt to add more characters and fullness to the game, but unfortunately just falls flat. The dialogue is a skipfest and just interrupts the flow of the game. The game even has the audacity to have a message log when talking to NPCs - in case you missed something. Don’t kid yourself game coz: If I missed dialogue, I assure you I did it on purpose.

You spend the game saving these NPC castaway characters, but they each and everyone of them does fuck all. Why aren’t they going with you on expeditions? “Yo we need to save Captain Olimar” meanwhile they all just stay at base and take a fat shit.

Quick Summary:

This game was pretty nice. A little too easy, but I guess I don’t have to get mad at the game to enjoy it. Some annoying things like the lock-on, path finding and NPCs won’t stfu. But great Pikmin action to be had. Pikmin is an underlooked series and you should play it you dweeb 🙂

#nintendo #review #pikmin 4 #pikmin #oatchi #olimar

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Amazing, ok so, how would the guys react to a super cuddly friend, but like they're really scared of crossing boundaries so they never really touched or anything, but as soon as they get the green light from the boys they're like. Always somehow touching them, like arm around the waist, legs on their lap during movie night, hugs from behind whenever they can etc

I was so hyped to write this because I'm definitely a touchy feely type of person but I've also just recently been like "boundaries you fucking walnut" so this is right up my alley.

TMNT Headcanons

The boys reacting to a super cuddly reader:

Michaelangelo

Alright let's be honest here

Mikey is the most intimate dude ever

He has no problems with physical contact as long as you're chill with it

Which you are, you'll take a hug wherever you can get one

The two of you have had your own handshake since the second week of you knowing him

His family however, is unaware of this

Obviously they know April is cool with touching them, she doesn't care

But they had no idea how you were about it

That was until you stayed for dinner

You'd basically fought Leo to let you help clean up

They knew you and Mikey were close

When you couldn't reach the shelf that the plate you were holding was supposed to go on they did not expect you to handle it the way you did

"Oi Mikey can I get a lift over here?"

The orange turtle didn't even look at you, backing up just enough and putting his hand out for you

You placed your foot firmly in his hand and climbed fluidly onto his shoulders, settling on the ridge of his shell and sliding the dish into it's proper place

"can you get this one too angelcakes?"

Mikey passed a cup into your hands and you proceeded to set it on the neighboring shelf, still perfectly balanced on your living perch

His brothers didn't know what they were expecting from the two of you but it definitely wasn't that

Leonardo

Watching Leo train was enough to make you tired

You weren't even doing anything, just watching

But once he'd finished his training and sat down to meditate you got up and padded over to him

"hey, do you mind if I sit behind you and use your back as a pillow while you do that? I'm tired as shit but I don't wanna crash on the couch right now, Raph almost crushed my head last time."

This smug fucker had the audacity to laugh at you

"be my guest. Just don't move too much"

Que the excited brain, you dropped to the ground and backed up to him as he settled

Your head made a resolute thunk against his shell and within minutes you were passed out

Leo was thankful that you didn't snore

This became your routine, so much so that he found it hard to meditate when you weren't there

He missed the familiar weight on his back

He'd approached you on the couch one evening, you were mid-argument with Mikey over some sort of movie theory and didn't even notice him standing there

"y/n?"

Your head snapped around to look at him

"yeahhhh? Did I do something?"

"no, I was going to meditate. Are you coming?"

You bounced to your feet, knocking Mikey in the shoulder before wandering towards the other room

"you win for now Mikey, I gotta go be Leo's human paperweight"

"you're not my- you know what close enough."

Raphael

No no no listen listen

This man is touch starved

AND I MEAN TOUCH STARVED

If you so much as roll for affection and get a +3 he dissolves

But he's also pretty sure you'd hate touching him or any of his brothers so asking for a hug is out of the question

If you want to touch him you'll initiate, right?

In-fucking-correct

Then at some point mid session you managed to land a solid ass punch right to his mouth

He crumbled on impact, grasping his own face in shock

Coincidentally you were also grasping his face in an attempt to see his split lip

"holy shit dude are you okay? I didn't chip any teeth did i? Wow okay that's bleeding pretty badly- one sec, don't move!"

Your hands left his cheeks and you scrambled to your feet, sprinting out of the room in search of a first aid kit

Raph looked up when you returned seconds later, the small tin box in hand, and kneeled at his side

"okay you might want to ice that but I'd definitely get a second opinion from donnie"

He was still staring when you handed him a gauze pad for his lip

"I'm really sorry Raph, I didn't mean to rock your shit like that"

The brain™ is recalibrating

Systems coming back online

He used one arm to pull you into a hug

"nah I'm good, it's just a split lip, barely even hurts- AH SHIT!"

you busted out laughing, tumbling out of his hug and covering your own mouth to contain your giggles

"I'll go get that ice for ya then?"

"yeah yeah shut up"

Donatello

Donnie didn't like to showcase that fact that he hated losing

He literally couldn't with the family he had, everything was a damn competition

And this happened to be a literal one

You, raph, Mikey, and he had been playing COD for hours now

You lost feeling in your thumbs about ten minutes ago

You and Donnie had lost every match since you'd split into teams and you were both getting sick of it

Donnie because he was a fucking genius, why couldn't he win this game?

You because you needed to pee like fifteen minutes ago and you weren't allowed to get up until the final match was over

"get your head in the game Donnie"

"oh wow thanks for the advice y/n, let me pull it out of my ass for you"

You wacked his shoulder with a scowl, settling your elbows on your knees and leaning into the controller

Mikey and Raph looked way too smug right now, like they knew that they were going to win

Neither of you would live with that

When it came down to the last 7 seconds you managed to snipe Mikey, making raph, who'd been shot out a minute prior, yell in outrage

Having been declared the victor you both triumphantly threw your controllers down on the couch

He went for a high five

You went for a hug

You both paused

He shrugged at you, earning an excited grin and you let him tackle you with a hug

Your airways were very constricted but at this point you didn't care one bit

"hey don?"

"yeah?"

"you can put your head back in your ass now."

Just as a general rule of thumb, whichever turtle I put last is usually the one I have the hardest time coming up with things for. So if you notice that the last ones always seem to be lacking that's why. Brain be sucking on the remainders of my creative juice.

Hope you liked this tho! I enjoyed doing it! Stay hydrated 😉

-Mars 🌠

#tmnt x reader #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt headcanons

[thetriggeredhappy]

day 1 let’s fuckin’ go. everyone listen to butterflies by samsa

Day 1: Pursuit

“You seriously don’t have any better games than this?” Scout complained, looking back down at the board, doubtful. “Not even, like, a deck of cards? To play poker or somethin’?”

“Rather not play two-person poker, and I don’t like gambling anyways,” was Sniper’s reply, not glancing up from shuffling the cards.

“I mean, maybe Go Fish then, or Old Maid, or—or somethin’, not fuckin’… Trivial Pursuit.”

Sniper seemed to mull that over for a moment. “If you don’t want to play,” he started to say, hesitant, and Scout sputtered to cut him off before he could finish that thought.

“I, I mean, I didn’t say that,” he managed, still half-glaring down at the board. “Just, y’know.”

Sniper probably didn’t know, actually. Truthfully, Scout wasn’t much for… book smarts type games. Games that needed quick reflexes, talking quickly, theatrics, those he was a champion at besides his eternally bad luck, but facts and numbers and geography? Those he tended to sort of… fuck up beyond recognition. And he really, really didn’t want to look like a complete idiot in front of Sniper.

Kind of the worst case scenario, actually. But the worse worst case scenario was driving the guy away before even getting to hang out with him, here, the first time he’d ever agreed to one of Scout’s dozens of proposed hangouts.

Hell, he’d honestly gotten used to Sniper always saying no. ‘Nah’ and ‘Not this time’ and ‘Afraid not, sorry mate’ were three phrases Scout had heard at least three and four times a week for months, now. He’d started brushing right through it, stopped letting it hurt his feelings even, although he couldn’t help but get his hopes up, still. Invitations to team drinking nights and poker parties and carpooling with the guys to the movies or a bar or a casino, or more overt invitations to listen to new albums or go out to get fast food or to fairs or to concerts, he’d long since gotten used to those standard, polite rejections.

So he was surprised, then, when he’d delivered his offhanded invitation—“Hey, Snipes, all the other guys bailed on the rec room game night tonight, you wanna be there anyways?”—he hadn’t expected Sniper to hesitate for a few seconds before shrugging and saying sure.

Hell, he was halfway through his ‘yeah no problem no worries man’ before he even realized Sniper said yes, then it was fumbling the whole rest of the way.

Better to be an idiot friend than a distant acquaintance, maybe. That’s what he told himself.

A brief mumbled rundown of the rules went in one ear and out the other as he got preoccupied with looking over one of the cards, mind boggled by what the hell the letters and colors were supposed to mean. A short summary was nodded at vaguely, and apparently his poker face had been terrible all along, because Sniper shrugged and said that they could just play first to six questions right and tally up wins from there. Then they rolled a dice and Sniper, apparently, would go first.

“Alright, uh,” Scout said, squinting down at the little card. “What does a… he-leo-logist, study?”

Sniper thought about it for a second. “Er… the sun,” he replied.

“Yep,” Scout nodded, nudged a piece towards him. Sniper took it. “So, uh, you go again?”

“Yeah. Er… geography, this time,” Sniper mumbled, shuffling some pieces around in a way that probably made sense to people who actually knew how this board game worked.

“Sure. What’s… the country that has South America’s highest and lowest points?”

Another pause. “Bloody… Argentina, isn’t it?” he asked.

“Damn. Okay, next one,” Scout said, less concerned about the fact that Sniper was doing well and more worried at the fact that he was gonna do awful.

“Geography again,” Sniper determined.

“What natural… breakwater, is off the north… eastern, part of Australia?” he read, a little stilted, squinting at the letters, like that would help, for once. Silence, for a pause, then for longer. Scout breathed an internal sigh of relief, smiling a little. “C’mon, it’s your own fuckin’, uh… country, continent, thing, isn’t it?”

“It’s both,” Sniper said, and paused. “It… it’s not talking about the bloody, er… Solomon Islands, is it?”

“Great Barrier Reef,” Scout replied.

Sniper muttered a swear. “Overthought it,” he sighed, nudging the dice over to Scout, who rolled it. Sniper glanced at the number, moved the pieces, looked at a card. “Right. What craft uses a… kiln, and a kick wheel?”

Scout could’ve cried. “That’s, uh, pottery, sculpting,” he said, relieved.

A nod from Sniper, a piece scooped onto his side of the table, the dice rolled a few seconds later when he realized he was supposed to do that. “How many colors are in the rainbow?” he asked next.

Scout had to count off on his fingers for a second. “Uh, seven,” he said, and fist-pumped when Sniper nodded, scooping up another piece. “Even though it’s, uh, kinda bullishit. There should be six.”

Sniper’s eyebrows ticking up in confusion probably was a sign he should drop it, but instead he found himself spouting off.

“Because, uh, like, y’know, there’s—there’s the kinds of colors, right?” he said, backpedaling at his response of furrowed eyebrows. “Like, the basic ones, the, uh, primary colors, that’s red and yellow and blue, y’know? And then the other three, that you get from mixing those, like, uh, red and yellow is, uh… is orange, and then like, green, and purple, you combine ‘em, right?”

Sniper nodded slowly after a moment.

“But then you got, uh, fuckin’… indigo. In the, uh, in the list of colors, fuckin’, Roy G. Biv? Red orange yellow, green, blue indigo violet? And I know it’s, like, blue and dark blue, but I think that still sucks. If we’ve got indigo we’ve gotta have like, the other in- between guys. Know what I mean?”

“Don’t have much of an opinion on it, but, sounds like you’re making points,” Sniper said, and Scout shrugged, glanced down at the table, tapped his fingertips against his knees out of sight to try and let out some nervous energy. “Bloody, er… your turn, or mine?”

“Uh, mine,” Scout said, scrambling to roll the dice.

“Right. Sorry. Er…” Sniper read over the card. “Patron saint of Scotland?”

Scout swore under his breath, deflating a little, coming up blank. “Uh… hey, Demo!” he called, and heard a vague ‘aye’ from the kitchen. “Who’s the patron saint of Scotland?”

“My mum,” Demo called back, and Sniper snickered, at least, which softened the blow to Scout’s confidence considerably.

“Ah, fuck off,” Scout called back, and looked back at Sniper, smiling. “Saint Scrumpy, fuck, I dunno.”

“Saint Andrew, apparently,” Sniper shrugged, rolling the dice. “Sports question. The orange one.”

Scout tried to read the question before starting to say anything out loud, and found himself completely lost anyways. “Who was the first… Ch—Check-uh-slavarian… to win, the… Wimbleton…”

“No idea,” Sniper said outright, shaking his head at himself. “Don’t follow, er… what, the Olympics?”

“Tennis, I guess,” Scout shrugged, rolling the dice.

“Sports for you too. What did… bloody hell. What did second baseman Bill… Wambsganss, do all by himself in the, er… 1920 World Series game?”

“Oh, shit,” Scout laughed, “guy did, like, a triple play, and then hit into a double later that same game. That was the year some guy got hit in the head with a ball and fuckin’ died.”

Sniper was staring at him, clearly shocked.

“What?” Scout asked, rolling the dice. “I know baseball. And it was a whole thing.”

Sniper seemed to shrug it off, shaking his head. “What’s the Taj Mahal made of?”

“Fuckin’, I dunno, chocolate? What, that some kinda dessert? What’s that?” Scout scoffed, trying to play it off.

“It’s… it’s a place. Looks a bit like a castle? Like, er, like the Eiffel Tower, or Big Ben, tourist sort of thing?” Sniper tried, and Scout shrugged, and he shrugged back, rolling the dice. “Fair enough. One of the, er, Science ones. Green one.”

Scout looked at the card for a few seconds. “I… dunno how to say this word. Glue… glay… what’s that?”

Sniper leaned over, and Scout turned it towards him. “Glaucoma. Hits your eyes,” he said, and Scout nodded, and he took a piece, rolled again. “Brown one.”

“What are… catalogued, under the Dewey decimal system?” Scout asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Books, library books,” Sniper mumbled.

“Jesus, are you—where’s the mirrors, seriously? How are you doing that?” Scout asked, and Sniper huffed something like a laugh, taking the piece, rolling again. “No, no, seriously. How the hell do you know half of these?”

“Geography, blue,” he prompted.

“Alright, I swear to god.” Scout held the card close as he read it, first to himself, then out loud. “What national capital is heated by underground hot springs?”

Sniper, to his credit, paused for a moment before answering. “Iceland’s. Reykjavik, it’s called.”

“I swear to god.” Scout flipped over the card, read the answer. “Oh, what the fuck!”

“I’ve bloody been there!” Sniper defended.

“Nah, fuck off, hold on—“ Scout picked up another card, reading another question. “Where in a tree does photosynthesis happen?”

“Leaves.”

“How do you know that so fast!” Scout demanded.

“That’s just science class in school!”

“Fuckin’—who, fuckin’, rode on the raft with Huck Finn?” Scout asked next.

“The, er… runaway, Jim.”

“Oh, what!” Scout all but shouted.

“Scout, I read.”

“Nah, nah, you’re way too good at this game, either you’re like, cheating, or you on purpose picked this game because you’re, like, weirdly crazy good at it or something!”

Sniper’s expression went from amusement to that blankness again, and it only made Scout even more infuriated.

“I mean, seriously, did you pick this game on purpose because you just know all the cards? Did you just wanna do the game where you’d for sure win?” he demanded.

Sniper was fidgeting with his glasses, now, and to be honest, Scout wasn’t even particularly mad, just confused.

“I mean, shit, you’d think you just wanted too play this one so you could look smart and cool and shit like that,” he said. and saw the way Sniper shrank a little, and the lightbulb went off way too late.

A pause.

“Dude,” Scout said, fighting down a laugh.

Sniper mumbled something he didn’t quite hear, sinking in his chair.

“Alright, seriously, if you wanna look smarter than me, you really don’t gotta pull out the trivia questions. Pretty much any game works, you know that, right? I’ll make an idiot of myself playing, like… Uno,” Scout said. Sniper shrugged, still not looking him in the eye. “Okay. Here’s an idea. How about we play, uh… I dunno, Crazy Eights. And while we play I’m gonna keep grilling you on this random trivia shit because seriously, that’s totally nuts, man.”

Sniper hesitated for a few seconds before he finally nodded and straightened up, and in a way, they both won. Scout because he now at least knew he wasn’t the only one who was a total mess and way too worried about what other people thought, and Sniper because he could keep being impressive about random trivia knowledge. Apparently, he knew a bunch about geography and books and nature, and not a single thing about sports.

Scout accused him of trying to memorize the cards. Sniper laughed, properly, for the first time all night.

#sniperscout #speeding bullet #sniperscout ship week #team fortress 2 #tf2 #shut up me #just this once. SNIPER is the dorkass loser

[blossom-hwa]

Hi! I love your fics so much and happy four years!!!! 🥰 May I please request a high school au with seungmin from skz? Is it also possible to name it 'stupid cupid'?

hi love!! of course it’s possible, thank you so much for the kind words and the request! I hope you enjoy this :)

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

~

Title: Stupid Cupid

Pairing: Seungmin x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 709

Triggers: cursing

~

"This is stupid," Seungmin whispers, hiding his face behind a menu as you both spare glances at the couple talking at the far corner of the cafe. "Why are we doing this, again?"

"Because I somehow earned the title of Cupid two years ago when I accidentally set up a dumbass named Han Jisung with his current partner and now everyone wants me to get them a date," you hiss. Honestly, you don't know how you've fooled everyone for this long, kept up the facade about being matchmaker guru when you're really just screaming inside all day long. "Do you want the backstory behind that, too?"

Seungmin scowls. "You should start charging for your services," he mutters. "At least then we'd actually be getting something out of this."

"Excuse me? Like you didn't get something out of this?" You lean forward and shove him lightly, enough to jolt him a little but hopefully not enough to expose your cover. "You got me, dumbass. A significant other."

"Right, a significant other who, despite having earned the name 'Cupid' after one too many matchmaking attempts, didn't realize I'd liked them for over three years already and had been flirting for the past two." Seungmin shakes his head. "I still don't know why I like you. You're an idiot."

"And you're mean," you snipe, taking another glance at the couple. Both girls are smiling, which is hopefully a good sign. Ryujin was really excited about this. "I don't know why I like you."

Seungmin grins at you behind the menu. "I have a point, though."

Unfortunately, he's right. You still cringe when you think of all the times you accidentally and unintentionally rebuffed Seungmin's repeated attempts at asking you out. If people knew how oblivious you were during that time period when Seungmin was actively trying to date you, they might not be so eager for your help anymore.

"Just because you're right doesn't mean you have to say it," is all you can finally come up with, which Seungmin won't take into consideration because one, he's mean like that, and two, he doesn't operate like that. Seungmin's honest and doesn't lie. Rarely sees the point in sugarcoating, either.

Which means that, unfortunately, because you're dating him, you'll be dealing with this for quite some time.

The waiter comes by with your drinks - two lemonades, the cheapest thing on the menu that you both ordered so as not to get kicked out in the middle of Ryujin's date. "You should get Ryujin to reimburse you for this," Seungmin says, taking a sip. "You shouldn't have to spend money on a free service that you do in your downtime."

You grimace. "I can't spring that on her after," you say, even though you privately agree. "If I anticipate this happening again, I'll make sure to get people to realize I need money to keep things going."

"This is why you have me." Seungmin hums, the straw between his lips. "Your lawyer-to-be boyfriend who can help you actually make bank off of this little side business you've got going on, instead of letting you go further and further into debt out of the kindness of your own heart."

Your eyes narrow. "Aren't all of you going-to-hell lawyer types in favor of sticking us in crippling debt with your high-ass lawyer fees and shit? And also, aren't lawyers famous for being heartless?"

"I can be heartless, but not when it comes to you." Seungmin flashes you a smile that makes your heart flutter even now. "I'm just trying to keep your finances afloat and keep you from being taken advantage of. As for your first question... mm, that's if you're a horribly corrupt political lawyer." His smile widens. "Fortunately, I'm an asshole, but I don't have political aspirations and corruption makes me want to take a pitchfork and ram it into the next businessman who somehow manages to get a tax benefit even after paying no taxes."

"Thank you for reminding me why I like you." You smile, putting a hand across the table.

Seungmin puts his hand over yours and squeezes, eyes crinkling into a grin. "I'm very thankful that you still like me," he replies. "Even if you're kind of stupid sometimes."

#districtninewriters #destinyversenet #kpopscape #stray kids #skz #seungmin #kim seungmin #stray kids seungmin #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin scenarios #stray kids scenarios #stray kids oneshots #stray kids imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids seungmin x reader #skz seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #drabble #fluff #university!au #stupid cupid #4 year anniversary drabble game #lina answers #anon #scriptura delirus

[andypantsx3]

statistically significant | 4 | bakugou/reader

length: 23,490 words | 7 chapters

summary: You’re the scientist who developed a neural net to model the value of assists. Now that your work is feeding into the hero rankings, pro hero Ground Zero has a bone to pick with your results.

tags: romance, enemies to lovers, sexual tension, reader-insert

warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, m/f threats of violence, problematic behavior

For someone so loud and obnoxious, Bakugou was proving incredibly difficult to track down.

You spent the next few days hunting all over Miruko’s agency for him, an apology sitting uncomfortably in the back of your mouth, but no matter where you went, the hero was nowhere to be found. You prowled inexhaustibly through the fluorescent halls of the underground floors, and poked around curiously amongst the messy piles of paperwork on the business floor. You’d even switched up your schedule in case he was specifically timing his entrances and exits around you, and had taken to lingering suspiciously around the training rooms like some kind of leery pervert, eyeing every blonde head of hair with a little too much interest.

The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized Bakugou wasn’t exactly the type to hide and avoid confrontation, so eventually you moved on to interrogating Mina and Kaminari on Bakugou’s whereabouts. Both of them claimed not to know anything, and no one else seemed to have anything more helpful to say either, nothing more than “I don’t know, haven’t seen him.” It was reaching the point where you were honestly considering filing a missing persons report if he didn’t turn up soon.

It wasn’t until Friday morning that you finally glimpsed a head of messy, ash-blonde hair stalking down the hall to one of the training rooms. You all but fell out of your chair and launched yourself out of the surveillance room after him, shoes slapping loudly in the hall.

You weren't exactly being sneaky, but you didn't expect Bakugou to react the way he did. As soon as you got close, he stiffened and whirled on you. You caught a flash of red eyes and white teeth bared in a snarl before the hallway tipped out of focus and your back hit the wall, Bakgou’s hand clenched in the scruff of your shirt.

“The fuck are you doing?” Bakugou demanded, crimson gaze searching you over. A scowl sat heavily on his mouth, and you noticed that the corner of it was bruised. A long scratch ran across the bridge of his nose, tapering off over one high cheekbone. The rest of him looked untouched--he was clean, and dressed in simple, dark training clothes again that hugged the planes of his chest and strong thighs.

You stared up at him, shocked to find yourself against a wall again. “You’re--you’re here.”

A blonde eyebrow went up. “I fucking work here, nerd.”

You suppressed an eye roll. “That’s not what I meant, Bakugou. I’ve been looking for you--I need to talk to you.”

“So you thought you’d charge me like a fucking rhinocerous?” he demanded. His fingers unclenched from your shirt, however, relaxing against your collarbone. You fought down a shiver as his callouses caught on your skin.

“Don’t run up behind a hero like that, idiot. Especially after a mission,” he growled.

You eyed the cut across his nose speculatively. “Is that where you were this week?”

“That’s none of your damn business, is it, you nosy little shit?” he asked, something like a self-satisfied smirk pulling at the edge of his mouth.

You let your head fall back against the wall with a thunk, sighing. You’d forgotten how annoying he was in the near week you hadn’t seen him. It was going to make apologizing so fucking frustrating.

“Can you please just not make everything so difficult for once?” you asked absently, trying to dredge up enough humility to get on with your apology.

Bakugou let out a grunt, but shifted closer, one very intimidating bicep coming up to frame your head. Your mouth suddenly went very dry.

“You’re one to fucking talk,” Bakugou said, staring at you with intent.

Mina’s comments on his romantic preferences flitted to the surface of your mind in a wild flurry. Your face heated, and you desperately pushed the memories down. As much as you wanted to snipe at him with an unexpected comeback on what he really thought of women who didn’t take his shit, you did not want him to know you’d been discussing his inclinations. Besides, that would be presumptuous. Just because he had a thing for mouthy girls in general did not mean that preference extended to under-caffeinated and irritable data scientists.

You pushed yourself away from him, pressing harder into the wall in an attempt to create space. “Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you, okay?”

Those crimson eyes watched you impassively.

“Then what the fuck did you want, nerd?” he asked, leaning slightly closer where you’d just managed to create an inch of extra space. You caught that scent again, hot and butter-sweet in your nose, like burnt caramel, and tried your hardest to ignore exactly how symmetrical his face was up close.

You suppressed an eye twitch. What was his thing about walls and intimidating people? And why was he so close to you? Had this man never heard of personal space?

“Actually, I came to apologize,” you said haltingly, looking up at him. If you hadn’t been watching him carefully, you might not have caught the minute widening of his eyes, the very slightest downturn of his blonde brows.

“What?” he rasped.

“You heard me,” you insisted. “I didn’t mean that you were--uh--weak. When I said I would help the other day. That’s the opposite of what I meant.”

Bakugou’s mouth pulled into an immediate snarl. “Fuck you. I don’t need your pity. I can handle myself fucking fine.”

You huffed. “I don’t pity you. That’s not what I meant.”

“If you fucking think--”

“I don’t!” you yelped, seeming to startle him. “Can you just listen for ten seconds? I’m trying to say something here.”

“Fucking obviously--”

“Bakugou, shut up!” you demanded. “This whole situation isn’t what you think it is, okay? I--I only made a bet with you in the first place because I thought you could jump rank, alright? When I say I’m helping you, I mean that I’m giving you insight because I firmly believe that you are capable of pulling this off. I....honestly, I wouldn’t have even made the damn bet if I didn’t actually want you to try this, because everyone knows you can do literally anything if you want it enough. Obviously you’re going to win.”

He was staring now, and it was all you could do not to shrink under the intensity of his gaze.

“So before you get your panties all in a twist over the fact that I used the word help, just remember that it doesn’t mean I think you’re incapable. I think you’re the most capable out of everyone here. And if you would stop being such a fussy baby for five frigging minutes, we could get back to retraining your habits so you could prove that you are!” you finished, huffing a little with the force of your anger. You forced your fists to uncurl from where they had balled up at your side.

Bakugou watched you carefully, unnervingly silent. You could feel his gaze almost like a touch where it brushed over you, and you fixed your eyes resolutely below his face, not wanting to look at him. You shifted uncomfortably against the cold plaster of the wall, waiting for the dam to break. Where was the screaming? When was it coming?

To your horror, a smirk pulled at the corner of Bakugou’s mouth instead.

“You think I’m the most capable, huh?” he asked. His arm shifted closer.

A flush washed through you with startling speed, heating your cheeks. “Oh my god. Shut up.”

His smirk widened into a predatory smile, baring a pointed canine. “It’s okay. You can own up to your little crush on me, nerd.”

You stared at him in shock. “How is that what you took away from this conversation? I didn’t say that. How in the world would you think that, when all you do is shove me against walls and act like a ginormous baby?”

“You’d prefer I shove you against walls and do something else?” he asked, a blonde eyebrow raising.

Your mind blanked out, fuzzy with static for a moment. You fought down a tiny, traitorous shiver. What the hell was going on in his brain? And how in the actual fuck was this the turn the conversation was taking? All you had wanted to do was get him out of his snit fit so you could get back on track to obtaining software engineers. How had he gotten so off track?

“That’s not what I--! I mean, you--!” you babbled uselessly, freezing up when he shifted his arm. He watched you with obvious relish.

“Ugh, I think I prefer you when you’re screaming at me,” you groused.

Bakugou’s smirk turned wicked, and he opened his mouth to say something you were certain you absolutely did not want to hear. Panicking, you brought a hand up and shoved it over his mouth.

“Whatever is about to come out of there, just keep it to yourself,” you commanded. “Now you’ve wasted enough time dicking around. We need to retrain your habits stat if you want to have enough time for everything to propagate in the model by the end of the month.”

A rough palm came up to yank your hand away from his face. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

You rolled your eyes. “Not if you want any chance of actually winning the bet.”

Bakugou scoffed, but to your surprise, he didn’t outright dismiss you. His eyes roved over you for a few seconds more, before he pronounced imperiously, “Tell me your big plan then, nerd. I’ll decide if it’s worth my damn time.”

You sighed. It was probably too much to hope that he’d suddenly be totally amenable to everything after your big speech. He wouldn’t be Bakugou Katsuki if he didn’t make everything such a production. At least he was still here and listening, despite the front he was putting up. And the weird conversational detour he’d attempted to take.

“I was thinking you need team training,” you said lightly. “To get in the habit of sticking close by to other heroes, and to practice evaluating situations more slowly.”

He regarded you consideringly, scarlet eyes flicking over your face. “You want me to train with a bunch of these b-list fucking idiots?”

You suppressed another eye roll. “Teammates. I want you to train with your teammates, Bakugou.”

He made a dismissive noise. “As if. I’m not going near any of those annoying little shits.”

You eyed him speculatively, a thought forming in the back of your mind. “....What about annoying little shits that will go near you?”

He scowled. “What?”

You gestured past him, to the window of a nearby training room, where two familiar figures were darting around the space, throwing up middle fingers at each other as often as attacks. “I have some people in mind.”

Bakugou glanced over his shoulder. Enough of his face was in view for you to see the thunderous expression that overtook over his features as he regarded his friends.

When he turned back to you, he was growling. “No. Absolutely fucking not.”

“Heya Blasty!” Kaminari chirped over his shoulder, pausing when you’d opened the door to the training room. “And stats girl! Come to let a real hero show you how it’s done?”

He shifted up out of a crouch, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Sweat had dried in it, standing some of it on end like he’d been hit with his own lightning. Actually, judging from the singe marks all over his clothes, maybe he had.

“Shut the fuck up before I blow your brains right outta your skull,” Bakugou’s sharp tone issued from somewhere over your shoulder. You could hear debris crunching heavily under his boots, like he was stomping a little.

Mina’s wild pink curls peeked out from behind an overturned car. “Do I hear the dulcet tones of my sunshine boy, Bakugou Katsuki?”

A telltale round of crackling went off behind you, accompanied by a snarl. Mina just laughed, sliding out fully from her hiding place, looking completely unthreatened. “Relax, Blasty. No one’s around to question your tough guy image.”

Bakugou made a dismissive noise. “The fuck do you know.”

Mina made an amused humming noise. Her dark eyes found yours and she smiled conspiratorially. You were struck again by the mental image of Bakugou in makeup and had to suppress a wild laugh.

“Hey, quit it with the fucking face over there,” Bakugou barked, seeming to detect that mutual amusement was being shared at his expense. He surged past you to put his entire palm over Mina’s face. Mina only laughed louder, her peals of bright laughter muffled slightly in his hand. “I’ll fucking end you.”

Kaminari dismissed the two of them, golden eyes flicking over to you. He smiled boyishly. “So, stats girl. What brings you and your angry pomeranian here?”

“Hey, fuck you, pikachu,” Bakugou growled. Then, “You fucking--raccoon--did you just lick me?”

You bit down on a smile, glancing between Mina and Kaminari. It was unexpectedly cute, the way Bakugou was clearly outmatched by his chaotic friends. They seemed supremely unconcerned with the fact that he might actually follow through on his threats, if the way Mina was making kissing noises into his hand was any indication.

“I thought I’d ask if you guys would be willing to train with Bakugou. He needs...adjustments,” you said, making sure to steer clear of the word help. You’d said your apology, and it seemed like Bakugou understood now, but you didn’t want to muddy the waters any on that point.

“Aww, and you came to little old us?” Kaminari asked Bakugou. His tone did nothing to disguise his obvious glee.

“Fuck you, I didn’t come to you--”

“I did,” you pronounced, deciding to help Bakugou out a little. You weren’t going to get anywhere if he spent the whole afternoon flinging insults and insisting he didn’t need anything from Mina and Kaminari. “He has two areas he wants to retrain on. This afternoon I was thinking you could run a couple simulations where he has to stick close to you two instead of going off on his own to do whatever he wants.”

“I don’t go off and do whatever, you damn nerd, I finish the fucking fight--”

“Do you guys think you might be able to spare an hour or two?” you asked loudly. “I’m sure he’d be willing to return the favor for your retraining.”

Kaminari looked positively gleeful, and Mina’s unusual eyes sparkled curiously from over Bakugou’s broad hand. To your surprise, Bakugou didn’t disagree.

“If I get to play villain, I’m in!” Mina agreed, finally shaking Bakugou’s hand off. “I’m gonna melt your legs off,” she told him.

He scoffed. “Good luck trying without any damn arms.”

She made a kissy face at him. “Gonna be hard to come at me if you have to stick to Denki the whole time.”

“Hey,” Kaminari protested indignantly, but he was drowned out by Bakugou descending into an incredibly explicit rant full of choice invectives. This seemed to prompt both Mina and Kaminari to let loose their own shit talk--Mina's comments in particular so obscene and inventive they would make a frat boy blush. It took some prompting and several minutes before the three of them were coherent enough to discuss the training again.

When you eventually managed to reroute them, they drew up the terms of their practice--Bakugou couldn’t go further than fifty feet from Kaminari for the duration of the exercise, and he’d be docked points for every possible opportunity he had where he might have assisted Kaminari and instead went in for the kill on his own. You agreed to code something up quick to layer over the training footage, to identify when Bakugou strayed too far from Kaminari, or went for a shot himself. To make it stick, Mina also insisted that at the end of the exercise, if Bakugou had managed to lose more than ten points, he had to submit to a punishment of Mina and Kaminari's choosing. You shuddered to think of what that was.

Once the details were fully hashed out, you found yourself being immediately shepherded out of the training room by Bakugou. He ushered you along impatiently like a dog corralling a wayward sheep.

“I’m gonna let loose on these fucking clowns--don’t need your quirkless ass getting in the way,” he groused as he led you. This drew you up short at the threshold, and you gaped at him, eyes darting up to catch his.

You...hadn’t told him you were quirkless. In fact, you were sure you hadn’t discussed that with anyone here, not even Miruko. The fact wasn’t something that bothered you, but it also wasn’t the sort of thing you brought up all too often. So....how did Bakugou know?

His scarlet gaze flicked almost lazily over you, and he seemed to catch the unspoken question. Rubble crackled under his boots as he shifted his weight to one hip. “What? You think you’re the only one who’s done their research, brat?”

You felt your heartbeat stutter and then pick up, just the slightest bit. Done...his research? What exactly did that mean? And if he meant what you thought he meant, what was it he’d been trying to learn about you? And why did he need to know?

“Bakugou, what--?” you began, but he cut you off by raising one large hand and shoving you through the door. He leaned out after you, and you caught a hint of that burnt caramel scent again. Your mind fogged a little at his proximity.

“I’m gonna win the fucking bet,” he pronounced slowly, scarlet gaze cutting into you, “and then you’re in for it, nerd.”

You gawped up at him, unable to help the way your mouth hung open. Was he threatening you? And if yes, why was he looking so unusually calm about it? Where was the rage, the snarling and the spitting like a wet cat? And why was he looking at you like that?

Bakugou answered none of your questions, tossing you a wicked smirk instead. Then he turned and slammed the door closed on you, leaving you alone with a swirl of hazy, half-formed concerns.

What....the fuck had just happened?

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia #bnha #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou

[beelsnack]

Bad Influence - Beelsnack's 666 Follower Special!!

(Technically I'm over 666 - shoutout to the porn bots)

But seriously, holy shit, there's a lot of you. Thank you all so much for liking my stuff, and for interacting with me and sending me good vibes and all of that. I hope I can keep giving you guys quality work!!

And yes, I am a nerd and I consider 666 a milestone for a blog for a bunch of demons. No, I'm not sorry.

-----

Lucifer: He couldn’t help but wonder when the change had set in.

When the human first arrived in the Devildom, they had been humble and meek. If anyone complimented them, they deflected it with the mastery and resignation of someone who had been doing it for far longer than they should have. And if someone thanked them? You would think their entire world was dissolving around them.

But now?

He extended a gloved hand towards them as they descended the stairs. Tonight was one of the rare nights where they had the opportunity to be alone without one of his brothers tagging along, and they had been planning this date for nearly a week now. They slipped their hand in his without any of the hesitation they would have shown at first. They knew they deserved his reverence.

“You look radiant as always, my dear,” he curled his fingers around theirs as they reached the bottom step, bringing the backs of their knuckles to his lips. “Surely there is no star in the sky that could outshine you.”

They laughed - his theatrics always did amuse them. “You do have amazing taste, after all.”

He chuckled as well, guiding the two of them to the front door. “Of course. Do you think the Avatar of Pride would associate with anyone less than the best?”

“Definitely not,” the wind that came through the door when they opened it blew their hair away from their face, and Lucifer couldn’t help but preen at the fact that he had helped that quivering little animal grow into the proud swan that stood before him.

“Speaking of the best, where are we going for dinner?”

“Don’t worry, my dear,” he laughed as they made their way out into the night. “You deserve the world, and the world you shall get.”

“Unless ‘the world’ means a steak dinner, I’m not interested.”

Mammon: “Come on, don’t leave me hangin’ out here!”

The curtain covering the entrance to the changing room rustled, and Mammon heard a faint “Fine, fine, just give me a sec!” before it finally opened and out stepped the human.

Mammon always thought they looked good no matter what they were wearing, even if it was one of his old t-shirts and a pair of shorts. Actually, especially if it was one of his old t-shirts and a pair of shorts. But seeing them decked out in his fashion brand - one he had both designed and modeled - was definitely making him feel some type of way.

He let out a low whistle when they stopped in front of the chair he had seated himself in. The results of his own shopping spree were tucked haphazardly into a colorful assortment of bags at his feet, but the human had taken a bit longer than he did picking out their stuff. And damn, was he glad they did, because otherwise he wouldn’t get the chance to see them modeling his clothes.

It was a private fashion show, just for him.

The outfit itself was pretty simple. A black fitted tee beneath a cropped leather jacket, a pair of faded dark-blue skinny jeans, and a pair of black sneaks with a gold stripe going up the side. But the thing that brought the whole outfit together was the long necklace with a topaz pendent resting against their breastbone.

“Well?” they asked, giving him a spin before striking a pose before him. “What do you think?”

For a moment, he couldn’t speak. The human wearing his clothes...it was the next best thing to them walking around with “I Belong To Mammon” tattooed on their forehead.

“I, uh...I guess you...um,” he swallowed thickly. “Ya look alright, I guess.”

“That’s tsundere for ‘you look hot,’ right?” they grinned before spinning around to look in the mirror. “Man, this is a whole look! I have to have it!”

If this had been a few months ago, the human would have waffled back and forth about whether or not to buy anything. It didn’t matter how much they wanted something, it was almost like they just couldn’t do anything nice for themselves. There was being frugal, and then there was deprivation. Now, though, was completely different.

“I wonder if I should get some shades to go with?” they mumbled, looking themselves over in the mirror. “I think that would really pull it together, don’t you?”

“Just don’t go for the Ray Bans, it’s a fucking scam.”

Leviathan: "Come on, come on, come on…"

Very rarely was Levi the one watching someone else play games, unless it was a stream. And as mind-blowingly awesome it would be to watch the human stream one of his current faves, he definitely didn't want other people seeing how adorable they looked when they were focused.

They had come to him with absolute determination in their eyes, begging him to help them out. There were a limited amount of UR armor sets in the event, and they needed to get their hands on one. And, well, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't help them out?

(The fact that he already scored the armor is irrelevant.)

So, here they were, camped out in the pillow nest that they often made for themselves when gaming in his room, laser focused on the screen with Levi giving them guidance. The event level was brutal, but they were in the final hours, so it was crunch time.

"Okay, this boss is easy once you know the attack pattern. Four regular slashes, a jab, then you've got about five seconds to get behind a pillar before it uses the AOE."

"Gotcha."

Even then, it was a long battle, and they had used up most of their healing potions by the time the monster let out an anguished roar and disintegrated into a pile of bones. The human held their breath as they moved towards it to gather their loot.

"Yes!!"

They practically leaped out of the pillow nest in triumph. There, right on the top of the loot list in shimmering gold font, and the UR armor that they had been coveting.

"I got it! I got it!" they cheered. "Levi, I finally got it!"

"Hell yeah you did!" the two of them shared a crisp high five as the results of the campaign loaded on the screen. It was updating in real time, so they could watch as the final moments of the event ticked away.

Levi knew what they were looking for. Early on in the dungeon, another player had done them real dirty, sniping them from a few levels above and then taunting them over VC about how they would never get the armor now. So of course that only inspired the human to work harder, and here they were.

3...2...1

Event over. Quickly, the human scrolled up to the beginning of the list, checking the names of all the players who scored the armor.

Levi sat next to them, chewing his lip. What was that person's tag again? He didn't remember.

Suddenly, the human let out a snort that turned into a full-on giggle fit.

"They didn't get it!" they cackled like a hyena. "Serves them right, the jackass!"

Levi was pretty sure it wasn't a good idea to laugh at the misfortune of others. But, he knew better than anyone that spite was a hell of a motivator. When they had first gotten themselves isekai’d into the Devildom, they had let demons walk all over them, Levi had personally witnessed a lower-level demon shove them out of the way to get a sandwich they had been reaching for, and the human just stood there and let them take it. But they had grown to be a little more selfish, and if they wanted something, they were taking it.

And maybe, just maybe, seeing them like that turned him on just a little bit.

Satan: "You want to come and say that to my face?"

Satan stood there in stunned silence as the human spun on their heel to look the demons right in the eyes. They had their back to him, so Satan couldn't see the look on their face, but whatever it was made the two lesser demons flinch.

"Hey, come on, Human, we were just joking."

"Yeah, no need to get all worked up."

They scoffed, and Satan knew them well enough to know that they were rolling their eyes. "Is that right? So you don't think I'm a...what was it? A fleshy meat sack who thinks they can get what they want by sleeping with the strongest demons in the Devildom?"

Another flinch. Satan chuckled to himself.. Did those morons really think they wouldn't hear them? Humans might not have super-heightened senses but they weren't deaf.

A small crowd had begun gathering around them, waiting to see what would happen. It wasn't every day one of the human exchange students squared up to a demon.

"You've got some nerve," the human drew themself up to their full height - which, admittedly, was laughable compared to most demons - and crossed their arms. "What do you think Lord Diavolo would do to demons who messed with his exchange students?"

"I believe there's a special spot in the Royal Torture Chambers for such demons," Satan came to stand next to them, and the other demons downright cowered. "If I recall correctly, there's an Iron Maiden down there."

"Ooh, cool!"

"Alright, we get it!" One of the demons cried, throwing their hands up defensively. "We're sorry!"

Satan opened his mouth to spit a curse at them, but the human beat him to it. "I've got Lord Diavolo on speed dial, so start running."

The two demons turned tail and booked it down the hallway, nearly crashing into Beelzebub as he turned the corner with a sandwich hanging out of his mouth. He stood frozen for a moment before he swallowed and turned to Satan and the human.

"Were those two bothering you guys?"

Satan cast a sideways look at the human before a wicked grin spread across his face.

"They took care of it."

Asmodeus: "Well, someone's feeling bold tonight."

The door had barely shut behind the two of them before the human was pressing Asmo against it, mouthing at his neck as their hands traveled down the front of his silk blouse. He shuddered gleefully as their breath ghosted against his ear lobe.

"I can't help it," they murmured, fingers skirting just beneath the hem of his shirt. "You looked so good out there."

"I look good all the time, darling," he hummed, reaching up to grab a fistful of hair to gently pry them away from his neck.

"You looked especially good," they huffed as he let go of their hair. "Dancing like that, I could barely wait until we got home."

"Aw, sweetheart, you should have come to join me." Asmo rolled his hips in an echo of the dancing he had been doing at the club, delighting when he felt them shiver against him. "We could have put on a show that would have captivated the whole Devildom."

"I don't think the staff would appreciate it."

"They would be too busy watching to care," Asmo giggled, diving down to capture their lips in a quick and dirty kiss. "Although I can't say I'm not thrilled to be getting a private show."

Beelzebub: “Man, this place has the best barbecue!”

Dinner dates were a pretty common thing for the two of them. Over the course of the human’s stay in the Devildom, the two of them had figured out which restaurants would put up with Beel’s appetite and which would visibly freeze when the Avatar of Gluttony entered the establishment. The Hellfire Barbecue was one of the good places, probably because Beel made sure to tip really well, and one time personally went into the kitchen to tip the chef. Or, well, he tried, anyway. He ended up giving the money to the human and told them to give it to the chef because he knew if he went in there he would devour everything. But the sentiment was still there.

Beel smiled down at the human as they wiped the barbecue sauce off of their face. “You finished all of it this time.”

“Huh?” they glanced at their plate. “Oh. Yeah, I guess I did.”

“You usually don’t.”

“I was really hungry, I guess.” they grinned sheepishly.

Beel distinctly remembered the human telling him that they always tried to save some food for later. Whether it was being resourceful or because they had a weird sense of shame around eating too much, Beel didn’t know, but he had never pressed in case it was a sensitive issue. But, seeing them indulge themselves and looking genuinely full and satisfied made him happy. And was probably his main motivation for taking them out to dinner so often.

Well, that and getting his own food.

“I like watching you eat.” Beel said, waving to the owner as he passed by.

“You...like watching me eat.” the human repeated, looking somewhat confused.

“You look so happy when you eat good food,” Beel smiled. “I like seeing you happy.”

Belphegor: Oh, how the tables have tabled.

“Come on, I don’t feel like dealing with Lucifer’s lectures today.” Belphie grumbled, tugging half-heartedly on the human’s arm that was flung around his waist. “We should get up soon.”

For all of his complaining, Belphie didn’t move. If anything, he snuggled down deeper into the bed. He loved when the human agreed to have a sleepover in the attic with him. They got uninterrupted cuddle and nap time, since nobody dared to come up to the attic except Beel. And Beel was almost always welcome to join the cuddle puddle.

“Five more minutes…” the human mumbled sleepily, burying their face into Belphie’s neck. The soft, contented sigh they let out tickled, and he squirmed a little.

“Aren’t you usually the one waking me up?” Belphie nuzzled his nose against their hair.

“But it’s comfy here,” they whined. “I don’t want to get up.”

“You just don’t want to do the presentation in class today.”

“Your point?”

Belphie laughed. “Can’t say I disagree.”

“I did all the hard work anyway,” they shrugged. “We’ll make Mammon give the report.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

The two of them settled back down into the nest of pillows. The human had almost drifted back to sleep when Belphie brought his nose down to theirs to nuzzle them together.

“You’re cute when you’re sleepy.”

“You’re cute when you shut up and let me sleep.”

#obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie

[tonystarktogo]

Could I pretty pretty please get some more on the time travel crack au? Maybe when it gets out that Steve, Bruce, andThor are technically from the future?

As much as I’d love to jump to that part, I think it’s funnier necessary to cover a few other tidbits first. For example:

Tony misses whatever discussion follows Thor’s -- hah, got it right in one, he hasn’t lost his touch completely yet -- arrival before the god carries his brother off towards a containment cell with the sort of cheer that causes Tony to carefully keep at least two people between himself and Thor, lest the asshole tries to hug him again.

Not that it can be that big a loss considering they all -- sans Loki -- end up back in the command center of the helicarrier, where Fury glares balefully at the most recent invader of his precious aircraft that clearly isn’t meant to stand in the way of gods.

A glare Thor aggressively doesn’t notice. Likely because he’s too busy partaking in the on-going discussion on what to do next.

And by ‘what to do next’ Tony doesn’t mean the expected we-were-invaded-by-a-mindcontrolled-alien-nutbag-and-there’s-probably-more-out-there-seems-like-the-kind-of-oh-shit-situation-we-should-plan-for. No. That would be reasonable and expected and Tony’s spent all of three hours in the company of the esteemed Captain America and already he can tell you that Rogers is none of that.

[Which, not cool, Capsicle. Dazzling and befuddling people with crazily brilliant ideas is his job.]

[continues under the cut]

So far, Tony’s been paying attention for ten minutes. In that time, Rogers and Thor have gotten into an argument over how to handle Loki -- which holy shit, that went from a calm, rational discussion to a battle to the death between two superhumans on a sugar high in zero point four seconds -- that Tony is so not gonna touch. [Nope. Let some other fool [i.e. Rogers] throw himself head-first into norse god family drama, Tony’s own feelings concerning his family are complicated enough.] That conversation devolved into a not-openly-fighting-while-totally-fighting stand-off between Rogers and Banner over a way too bitter comment from the latter [something about ‘you’d know all about choosing one brother over the other, wouldn’t you’ which what?], which in turn gets derailed by Banner needling Thor about the merits of beheading over stabbing.

Romanoff had the good sense to disappear -- probably to interrogate Loki while his apparently protective big brother is distracted, now that Tony thinks about it. 

Unfortunately that still leaves Tony stuck here, having to play the role of the mature adult because no one else fucking will. Tony hates being responsible. It’s like being back in high school and being left to do all the work on your own in group project.

[Tony failed that project. Got a straight up zero on purpose because spite is a wonderful motivator. Which, now that Tony thinks about it, doesn’t say anything promising about the current situation.]

Tony leans even further back in his seat, only balancing on the backlegs of the chair, to give Fury a very sharp, very judgemental look.

These are the people you’re betting Earth’s survival on, that look says.

Fury’s already pissed off expression darkens further, which brightens Tony mood substantially. That one of the suit’s sensors flashes green twice in quick succession less than a minute later really just makes for a delicious cherry on the top. Or more precisely a good excuse to ditch this trainwreck of a match-making attempt.

“Whoops,” Tony says, clearly audible but not too loud to draw real attention from the three [still arguing-while-pretending-not-to] stooges on the other end of the room. “Looks like I gotta take this call.”

He jiggles his fingers at Fury. The guy rolls his eyes -- probably jealous that he doesn’t have an excuse himself, that bitch face doesn’t fool Tony -- but no one tries to stop him.

“Alright, J, what do you have for me?”

*

Tony pretends not to notice the shuffling footsteps. Glances at the disturbingly normal clock on the wall that is so not up-to-date with the rest of the technology in the room, it must be an inside joke. Tony would love to meet the SHIELD agent behind it -- it can’t be easy, being the only person with a sense of humor in an entire agency.

30 minutes.

Well. That’s longer than Tony thought he’d get. JARVIS still hasn’t cracked the last layer on SHIELD’s really fucked up dirt -- and given what he’s already found, that says a lot -- but it’s only a matter of time now. Besides, Tony’s got a job to do.

“To- Stark.”

“Rogers.”

Tony doesn’t turn. Neither does he stop typing.

“What are you doing?”

Tony scoffs. He’s not in the mood to pander to inferior minds -- not when they’re so fucking frustrating, don’t make any sense and worst of all make him do all the work. 

“He’s tracking the Tesseract, using the scepter as a point of reference,” Banner says after taking one look at the screen over Tony’s shoulder.

Tony raises his eyebrows, impressed despite himself. Banner’s credentials clearly don’t do him justice -- and they were pretty damn good to begin with.

“Huh,” says Rogers.

Thanks for playing. Now buckle down and make yourself useful or fuck off, Tony wants to snipe but doesn’t get the chance to because the gods -- this god at least -- just aren’t on his side.

“Even without my brother’s help, a weapon of the tesseract’s might should not be underestimated,” Thor speaks up. “Should we not make haste and collect it?”

"Great idea.” Tony’s voice is dryer than the sand dune he crash-landed in back during his fun little trip to Afghanistan. “If only I’d thought of that instead of inventing fifteen new algorithms to try and get a read on SHIELD’s precious magic eight ball while you were busy defending your brother’s honor. Speaking of, I’m pretty sure Romanoff is a greater danger to his virtue than Captain Shockfreeze over there, so why are you still here?”

Okay, maybe poking the hornet nest that is godly family isn’t his smartest move [didn’t he just say he wasn’t gonna touch that?!] but damn if Tony isn’t curious. And also too annoyed to care about unimportant, subjective things like good manners and tact.

He sort of regrets his cavalier attitute a little when Thor sobers. At least there are no tears in sight. Tony is the last person on Earth who should be left unsupervised around crying people. It just never ends well.

“Ah.” Thor sighs heavily, stems his body against an unfortunate table that creaks dangerously. "I’m afraid I can’t afford to see my brother right now.”

It’s the way he says those words, the weight they carry more than anything that tells Tony he needs to drop this issue right now. Talk about one huge trigger button.

Must be inconvenient to have siblings. Tony totally can’t relate.

“Well, in that case, unless you have a magic trick with which you can pull the Tesseract’s position out of your sleeve, how about you sit as far away from these delicate instruments as possible and don’t touch anything while I work my magic, hm?”

Tony doesn’t let his gaze linger on the crushed edge of the table. Thor hasn’t even seemed to notice. He’s too busy lighting up at Tony’s snappish response. Which is surprising. Tony’s aware he’s a bit of an asshole right now. In his defence, he’s an asshole most of the time.

Rogers leaps across the room -- almost crashing into the previously mentioned delicate sensors as he does so -- to slap his palm over Thor’s mouth.

Tony stares. [How quickly can you develop a new habit again? Because this starts to feel like a new habit.]

“That sounds like a great plan!” Rogers beams at him, so wide and fake it must be physically painful for the epitome of all that is good and holy. At least Tony hopes it is. The supersoldier his father worshipped is still clinging to their resident god of thunder’s face.

It’s.

Tony resolutely turns his back on both of them because their madness doesn’t seem to come with a refund-ticket and if Tony doesn’t finish this program, no one will.

Not even Banner -- whom Tony had been kind of hoping for. Speaking of, the man’s been awfully quiet for a while now.

“You alright there, Brucie-Bear?” Tony turns around -- a little because it’s polite to face people when you talk with them and mostly to have an excuse not to watch the ongoing doomed wrestle-match between Blonde 1 and Blonde 2. His awesome nicknaming skill doesn’t get so much as a twitch.

To be fair, Banner is so busy staring straight ahead with the most epic rendition of the World’s Most Thoughtful Expression™ Tony has seen in a while that it doesn’t seem like the man heard him. At all.

Until he suddenly speaks up.

“I think we’ve forgotten something.” Behind Tony the impromptu wrestling comes to a sudden halt.

Probably something negligible like how to focus on a mission, the sarcastic voice in the back of Tony’s mind drawls. Though it should be noted that Tony’s consciousness only comes in sarcastic or not at all. Sorry, everyone, all the other flavors are out.

Banner’s frown deepens. “Something- Something important.”

Right on cue an explosion rocks the aircraft.

*

There’s a bit more tension in this part than the previous ones. On Tony’s side it’s because he’s smart enough to pick up on Something Is Seriously Wrong, both consciously and subconsciously and also because he feels the pressure what with everyone else apparently not taking this whole thing very seriously.

[Excluding Natasha who, believe me, takes Clint’s fate very serious indeed.]

On our time travellers’ side, they experience the frustration of being unable to talk openly, surrounded by people they don’t trust, trying to play along to the script of a movie they watched like 12 years ago and never revisited. Needless to say they’re failing horrenduously.

#ReRe answers #archangel-of-peace #if you know the future why are you such an idiot 'verse #Tony Stark #Steve Rogers #Bruce Banner #Thor Odinson #Loki #Thor's and Loki's complicated relationship #Tony is done with this shit #Steve continuous to fail at being subtle #Thor continuous to out-do him #fic #shit this got long #me: i'm gonna write a three line text post on a hilarious time travel au #also me: *what feels like 2k later but is hopefully an exaggeration* fuck #ReRe writes #time travel shenanigans #lovely people

[sugaabooga]

Aim and Shoot Your Shot

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: fluff, conartist!Taehyung, assassin!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: PG-13, mentions of blood, guns, death, scam artists, video games LOL (nothing to gorey or serious tho), some cursing, very inaccurate descriptions of assassins-ish/scam artist missions

Synopsis: It do be Valentine’s Day.

Gunshots fire. Bullets whizz past your cheek. The stench of fresh blood reaches your nostrils. And yet. As you walk through the blood pooling at your feet, you don’t flinch.

Your hand is steady, resting on the trigger and ready to turn the corner.

BAM.

A clean headshot is fired and you’re thrown back with spurts of blood shooting out your neck onto the dirt floor.

“Damn,” you mutter, roughly tossing your mouse aside at your 20th death.

“How the hell are you an assassin with a KDA of 6/20/3?” a voice snickers through your headphones as you lean back into your swivel chair and shut off the game client.

“Real life and games are different, I guess,” you shrug.

The line abruptly goes dead making you straighten up in your chair in confusion. “What?” you mutter, checking up on the headphone cords and pc wires.

“You gonna sit there all day?”

You whip around to see Taehyung, your group’s main conman, and your partner in crime. Literally.

“We got a call,” he says, tossing over your hat and mask and cooly walking out the door. You slip on your cap and mask, pulling on a black jacket over your all-black look, and shove on your white sneakers.

“You have got to teach me better aim,” you mutter as you hop into the passenger seat. Taehyung scoffs as he starts the van’s engine, driving towards the Kim family’s mansion where your team was stationed to take action at the shady networking party.

“Says the sniper,” he shakes his head.

You sigh. “I don’t know what it is. It’s just not the same.”

At the sudden silence, you glance at Taehyung’s side profile, never able to get used to his perfectly sculpted face as his eyes intently focus on the road before you.

“What’s the matter?” he suddenly asks, briefly meeting your eyes before turning right back onto the streets. You flinch at the unexpected interaction and shake your head.

“N-Nothing,” you hum. “Is… Eunji going in with you today?”

Taehyung nods. “She always does for these cocktail parties.”

“Right,” you mutter under your breath.

You don’t know what you have against Eunji. She had joined the team a month after you finished sniper training and attending the main missions. 

She took on the role as a con woman alongside Taehyung, acting as his plus one at these types of rich people events you guys attended.

Despite their visual charisma when Eunji held onto Taehyung’s arm and they both flashed their blinding smiles, Taehyung had always worked with you the best through the mere earpieces. He was good at flattering others and extremely observant, using his quick wit to navigate the areas. You were good at keeping him in check, giving clear, specific orders, and watching his back.

The two of you had effective communication as he gave signals through your binoculars for you to make the first shot. After one specific instance where Taehyung had experienced massive injuries and laid right under one of the notorious gang members, you had sniped the guy right off of him and weirdly, things started to change between you and Taehyung. Your friendship grew stronger despite the field of work the two of you were in and you found the both of you often relying on each other.

But nevertheless, Eunji was good at acting just like Taehyung which automatically earned her the position as the main con artist and appear as the perfect wealthy young couple at parties and business affairs. You had been ignoring the green feeling you got every time you had to watch them through your binoculars but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Taehyung stifles a laugh, immediately catching your attention.

“Are you jealous?”

Your eyes widen at the unexpected question that makes your heart race in nervousness. “Why would I be jealous? Of who?”

Taehyung shrugs, an amusing smirk plastered onto his stupidly handsome face. Before you could retort, Taehyung stops the car towards the wooded area hidden from main traffic and hops into the back to change into his suit.

You snap out of your confusing emotions, reminding yourself that you were in on an important business deal with the infamous Kim family who believed Taehyung and Eunji was the Shin family from France.

You quickly retrieve your weapons and materials from the trunk and nag Taehyung to safely carry out the mission and not be rash like he often was. He responds with a mischievous smile and a flick to your forehead before heading towards the hacker, Kim Namjoon’s van to take note of any security obstacles and important individuals.

You quietly run through the back route that you had analyzed on the way here and make your way up to the building labeled Building B. You shove in your earpiece before setting up your equipment, keeping a sharp eye out for any suspicious movements around you. Dealing with the Kim family was always risky business.

“Testing. Cinnamon buns. Testing.”

You snort. “Wanna go on a cinnamon bun date with me, Yoongs?”

Yoongi, the other experienced sniper currently stands on the opposite building from you, setting up his own materials. He ignores your comment, as usual, and focuses on the main hall of the mansion.

“Honestly, I always thought you guys looked cute together,” another voice adds with a snicker that you join in on. It was always too fun teasing Yoongi.

“What!?” Taehyung nearly yells into your ear making you grimace at the sudden loudness.

“Taehyung. Please,” Yoongi grits. “And shut the hell up, Park. Make sure you don’t end up knocking out the wrong man.”

That had happened before.

“Is Taeji in?” Jungkook, the new recruit in charge of hand to hand combat, interrupts the mild banter through the earpiece.

You refrain from rolling your eyes at the combination of Taehyung’s and Eunji’s names that your dumb team members came up with and listen quietly to Yoongi’s confirmation of observing the main entrance.

“Jimin,” Yoongi suddenly interrupts the silence. You scan the ballroom and spot the man in question who was, as always, flirting with a random woman for absolutely no reason except shits and giggles. “You aren’t here to pick up a one-night stand.”

You let out a short laugh as you see Jimin tense up indicating his entire body’s suppression of rolling his eyes. He successfully maintains his signature eye smile in front of the bashful female bartender who slips him a napkin. Probably with a set of numbers written on them.

“Security system is officially down,” Namjoon informs. “Taeji, Y/N. Standby at target.”

You quickly get into position, peering through your gun at the tall glass windows on the side of the target room. Once you make sure it’s in place, you use your binoculars to keep a close watch on the surroundings. You sweep over Taehyung and Eunji’s positions as they converse with some of the guests at the ball.

“Kim Seokjin entered through the side entrance doors,” Yoongi reports.

“Naturally get out of the conversation,” Namjoon instructs. “Kim approaching ten o’ clock about 100 ft away.”

You watch Eunji tug on Taehyung’s arm and lean close to whisper something in his ear.

You roll your eyes. Was that really necessary to get out of the conversation? You knew Eunji harbored feelings for Taehyung and always made it a point to be extra touchy on missions where they were required to enter as a couple.

You sigh as Taehyung gazes down at her with his playful grin and wraps his arm around her, quietly saying their excuses to the guests and taking their leave to “coincidentally” bump into Seokjin.

“Y/N,” Yoongi’s quiet voice calls.

“Listening,” you murmur.

“Remember. Don’t shoot unless it’s a life or death situation.”

“Got it,” you assure him, remembering that one time you had accidentally pulled the trigger during a winning fight. Good thing you had missed it because that would’ve been an extremely difficult situation to clear up.

Namjoon instructs Taehyung and Eunji to lead Seokjin into the back room where the transaction was scheduled to take place.

“How is someone so evil so good looking,” you say once you get a proper look at the man’s visuals as he follows after Taehyung and Eunji without any suspicion.

Eh, Tae’s more of my type. You think.

Yoongi rolls his eyes when he sees Taehyung’s jaw tense at your words that had accidentally spoken through your earpieces.

“Make a move if you’re mad,” Yoongi snickers as you scoff believing it referred to you while Taehyung jolts in surprise.

After a flashing light signal, Taehyung naturally walks towards the windows, slowly drawing the blinds closed just in case any rival gangs or crews were also present on the scene. Namjoon and Yoongi were watching the room from their respective visible places while Jimin and Jungkook were getting ready for any surprise attacks a few meters from the door. You stay still in position, taking this time to stretch your limbs since you didn’t have a visible line of sight.

A few minutes pass in silence which was quite normal for these types of meetings. It’s only when these business transactions get gangs involved that things go haywire and blood is shed.

“Shit,” Taehyung’s familiar timbre voice comes in through your headpiece. You immediately grow tense as Jimin quickly asks about the condition of the situation.

“Transaction is complete,” Namjoon quickly clarifies. “I don’t know why Taehyung cursed. Yoongi and Y/N stay in your positions till the Kims completely exit. Taeji and Kook, hurry and head out into your vans. Jimin hang around for about twenty more minutes. Don’t end up in a motel tonight.”

Jimin giggles as he walks back out into the main ballroom. “I’ll try.”

“Geez Tae,” Jungkook sighs, walking out towards the back of the mansion. “I thought I had to bust in.”

“Sorry,” Taehyung says, walking out through the back still in his suit and practically glowing. He fidgets with his watch and fiddles the knife stuck around his hip. “Did you guys realize it was Valentine’s Day tomorrow?”

You turn away, putting your binoculars aside as Eunji suddenly perks up expectantly at Taehyung’s random inquiry.

“Y/N,” Taehyung calls with hesitance.

You sigh, kneeling at your gun and peering in through the scope just in case. “I’m here.”

Unfortunately.

“You free tomorrow?”

You pause, leaning back from the gun. Was he trying to make fun of your single ass?

You don’t realize that just twenty feet below you, Taehyung awkwardly paces around as Eunji squints her eyes and huffs away to her respective van.

“Tomorrow?” you ask in confusion. “You tryin’ to have a galentines or something because obviously I do not have any pla-”

“Dumbass. He’s asking you out for Valentine’s Day,” Jimin suddenly interrupts, immediately sending both Taehyung and your faces to flush red.

You gulp. “As in-”

“A date,” Taehyung finishes. He nervously peers up at the building you were standing on top of earlier. He’s able to spot your dark figure. You turn around, somehow meeting Taehyung’s eyes as the mansion’s lights illuminate where you both stand.

“This is nasty,” Jungkook mutters with a sigh, hopping into Namjoon’s van.

Ding.

“This isn’t what I meant by making a move,” Yoongi sighs, tossing aside his water bottle after taking a swig. “Public confessions are a thing now?”

You look away, digging into your back pocket for your vibrating phone.

Tae: Go out... with me.

You intake a sharp breath, looking down only to see Taehyung typing away.

“You’re just salty that you’re lonely,” Jimin hums back at Yoongi, entering the ballroom with a flirty grin directed at CEO Shin’s mistress.

Tae: I like you Y/N. Wanna be my valentine?

“Fuck you,” Yoongi deadpans.

You: :3 teach me how to aim?

Taehyung grins, looking back up to see you peer down at him from the ledge.

“FOREVER AND ALWAYS!” he yells with a boxy smile.

“We’re literally going to die,” Namjoon groans.

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #bangtanidx #btsboulangerie #bts #bts x reader #taehyung x reader #taehyung scenario #bts scenario #taehyung fluff

[talesmaniac89]

Tag, You’re It

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: The reader challenges Dean to a round of laser tag, to see who’s really the best shot.

Triggers: None really, just fluff

Y/N = Your name | Y/E/C = Your eye colour

“Pull in here Dean!” You bounced excitedly in your seat as you pointed to the arcade in front of you. Smile wide and (Y/E/C) eyes bright with the premature rush of a challenge as you twisted in your seat to raise a teasing eyebrow at the grumbling hunter.

Dean Winchester, however, didn’t seem as excited for the prospect ahead of him. Even though he’d been all for it when you’d raced him to the car. All big words, sharp eyes and squared shoulders, ready to prove you wrong on your assumption that you’d beat him in a one to one shoot out. 

Of course, he’d probably also not thought you’d be dragging him to the closest arcade to put his bragging to the test straight away. Considering the challenge, he’d most likely considered it to at best involve a gun range and at worst a bunch of tin cans in a pretty little line.

“Are we really doing this?” Dean groaned, though he still turned into the car park with a grimace and hesitant green eyes locked on the big, faded ‘Fun Land’ sign in front of the door. Seeming less impressed by the second as he took in the crumbling facade.

Honestly, the place had seen better days. 

The sign looked like it was just one bad gust away from crashing to the ground. The ‘F’ was faded and dented enough to barely be visible at all, renaming the old arcade to ‘Un-Land’ instead. And the obvious signs of rust creeping in from the sides of the vintage styled metal hinted at years of neglect. But hell, it was the only arcade in a 10-mile radius, and it would have to do. 

Hopefully the equipment inside wasn’t in as bad of a state as the outside. The reviews had been good online after all. Though you were still adamant that you could beat Dean in a shoot off even if your only available weapon was a peashooter. 

“Hell yes we’re doing this. If you’re gonna brag and say you’re better than me, you have to be ready to put your money where your mouth is,” You grinned, reaching for the door as soon as he pulled the Impala into one of the many available parking spots. 

Based on the ghost town of a parking lot; the old and rundown arcade was pretty much empty. Which was what you’d been aiming for when you pulled Dean along early on a Monday morning. You didn’t need other soldiers on the battlefield if you were going to show him you were the better shot. Though, in your own totally humble opinion, the place could’ve been full, and you’d still come out on top of any damned leader board. You knew your way around guns. 

Any type of gun.

“But… Laser tag? Isn’t that just for kids’ birthday parties and boring stripper-less bachelor parties?” Dean’s deep voice was right behind you once he spoke up again. Sending surprised little pleasurable shivers up your spine as you turned to face him, nearly bumping into his chest from how close he was. 

It took you a second to find your voice; your head loud with some not-so-innocent thoughts about the gorgeous hunter in front of you. 

Damn it.

It was unfair how mentally tongue-tied he could leave you by just standing that little bit too close to you. Those broad shoulders and muscular arms easily brought with them fantasies best reserved for the four walls of your own room back at the bunker at any given point of the day. Even more so when they were close enough for you to run your fingers over. 

Especially when the rest of the man was just as sinfully gorgeous. From those slightly bowed legs and his perfectly toned chest, making you wonder how all of him would feel pushed up against you, one strong thigh between your legs and calloused fingers circling your wrists. To those tempting full lips and that defined jaw peppered with just the right amount of stubble to make you want to trace it with your tongue. And of course, your favourite pair of bright green eyes; easier to get lost in than any national forest. 

Ok, so maybe you had a tiny bit of a crush on the wilderness that was Dean Winchester. 

Which meant the added bonus of getting some time alone with him did add to your giddy energy. But it was 99% about proving him wrong… Or maybe 75%, at least. Swallowing down your own dirty mind, you pushed your thoughts aside along with the buzz in your veins from reacting to the near magnetic pull of him by walking backwards towards the door to the arcade. 

“Well, bachelors and birthday parties will have to wait in line. Right now, it’s a way for me to kick your ass,” You shot back, a little too late and too weak, when you found your voice again. Adding a secret ‘and to help you de-stress’ to yourself as he rewarded your teasing words with a roll of his eyes and a huff before he followed you to the door. 

Dean had been a bit on edge lately. Not that you blamed him. But it hurt to watch him pace the floor dragging a fidgeting hand through his hair and not finding any outlet for his nervous energy. Which was really why you’d challenged him in the first place.

You both turned to your little challenges whenever one, or both, of you were on edge from the tense lack of action between hunts. It made the quiet days easier to deal with when you had nothing to hit. He was your best friend, even if you felt more than just friendship for the hunter, and you just wanted to help him. To make him smile again.

There had always been a great chemistry between you two. Some intuitive part of you that just knew when the other was hurting, or needed an outlet for the building adrenaline, energy and frustration. Maybe it was just friendship, maybe it was something more. Personally, for you it was definitely the latter and sometimes you believed it was the same for Dean. You’d just not been able to own up to it properly yet. At least not enough to find the needed courage to test your theory that those hidden glances you sometimes caught out of the corner of your eye meant he felt the same way you did.

“I don’t know…” Dean sighed as you turned on your heel to push the door open, happy to see the inside looking a hell of a lot more modern and cleaner than the fading outside shell of the building. Hopefully their ‘state of the art’ laser tag arena lived up to the hype you’d read about online. Each session apparently came with a scoped rifle, a handgun and a ‘smoke grenade’ that was more a burst of steam than anything. All set in a dark maze made to look like an abandoned warehouse. 

A setting you were both intimately familiar with from your many hunts. 

“You’re just scared ‘cause you know you can’t beat me,” You sing-songed teasingly as you nearly skipped towards the reception desk. Happy to see that the inside looked as empty as the parking lot. Which meant there shouldn’t be too long of a wait. And hopefully you’d have the whole arena to yourselves. So you could properly school the hunter.

“Oh… It’s on…” Dean winked at you. That boyish half-grin chasing away the rest of his annoyed reluctance as he fell into step next to you. Bumping a toned bicep against your shoulder when you rewarded his agreement with a loud victorious laugh which only sounded louder in the empty arcade. 

Ok, so it was more than just a tiny crush. 

You loved Dean Winchester. You just needed to get your shit together for long enough to tell him. Hopefully without destroying your friendship. 

---

“Not fair (Y/N)!” Dean tried to sound annoyed as his vest blinked red to signal your clear shot to his chest, but the laughter soaking the words took the edge off it. 

You’d been kicking ass and taking names for the first fifteen minutes of the thirty-minute round. Though Dean kept telling you it was only because you kept hiding from him. Either that or because the gun was lighter, he was new to laser tag, or one of a million other whiny excuses. 

For the first ten minutes, the big guy hadn’t taken your game seriously. Allowing you to easily duck around corners and sneak up on the hunter. Your movements hidden by the music and the blinking lights as you used your handgun to get in a clean shot before running away laughing. Blatantly ignoring the ‘no running’-signs that littered the walls. 

Once your point lead had been announced at the ten-minute mark however. Then the game became deadly serious. Forcing you to switch tactics to keep your lead. Finding the high ground and dropping to the floor to use your scoped rifle to snipe at him from behind the chain link fence on the higher platform. 

Which was exactly where you were as he called out to you above the music and teased a laugh from you that gave away your position. Leaving you just a few short seconds to roll to the side and scramble back up on your feet before he closed in on you. Easily getting in a shot at the back of your vest just before you rounded another corner. 

---

His points were closing in on yours. 

“Stop moving so much! You’re cheating!” Dean’s laughter sounded from somewhere behind you as you raced towards another corner with a loud, breathless laugh of your own.

The twenty-minute mark had seen a point score that was both in triple digits and the distance between your points was shrinking fast. The hunter’s longer strides left you to run away, ducking and rolling half the time as he kept trying to get in shots at you while you zig-zagged away from him.

“All’s fair in love and war Dean!” You shot back with a breathless laugh over your shoulder before rounding the corner and jumping a small barrier to lie in wait, knowing he’d follow you around it sooner rather than later. Switching from your rifle, you aimed the handgun towards the corner and held your breath. But there was no sign of those bright eyes and boyish grin coming into view around the corner. 

Where was he?

“Got you,” Dean’s voice in your ear teased a childish squeal out of you as he snuck up on you and got another shot in. Damn it. You were tied. 

Laughing you turned towards him and winked before easily using your smaller size to your advantage, ducking under his arm and rushing around another makeshift barrier. Nearly sliding on the floor from the sharp left turn before turning to walk backwards and waiting for him to hit the slippery patch that almost made you stumble. Gun aimed and finger on the trigger. 

You barely got the shot fired through your loud laughter as Dean came into view around the corner. Stumbling over bowed legs as he fumbled with his gun. The Winchester curse striking again. 

The brothers somehow both always seemed to nearly drop whatever weapon was in their hands at least once. Luckily, this time, you could use it to your advantage as you ducked, dropped and rolled. Getting around the corner with another breathless chuckle at Dean’s curses from around the corner. 

---

Your back and forth point-lead kept changing as Dean copied your earlier tactic; sniping at you from the top of one of the structures you didn’t even know how he climbed. While you tried to hide around corners and fire blindly in his direction. Both of you breathless and hot as the robotic voice signalled the last few minutes had started. 

The final countdown propelled Dean into further action as he jumped nimbly down from his vantage point to chase after you again. Sniping was good for steady points, but not much of a winning tactic with only minutes left to spare.

You had the lead, but only barely and Dean was hot on your heels as you ran around another corner, only to run straight into a dead end. If he caught you in there, he was sure to win the whole game by simply locking you in place and firing blindly around the corner. 

You only had a few seconds to formulate your plan. Which was probably what made you throw caution to the wind as you kept your gun by your side instead of aiming it at where he was sure to show up. Deciding, hell, two birds, one stone, just as Dean came around the corner. 

Eyes shining bright with early victory as he lifted his gun. 

Before he could fire however, you ducked under his aim and pushed him against the wall. Your hand flat against his vest as you pushed yourself up against him. Hating the fact that the rigid plastic of the laser tag vests was keeping you from feeling his body against yours. You knew you should probably take a second to think things through. But, you were acting on adrenaline; the only way you ever managed to muster up the courage to do something absolutely insane. 

Both when it came to hunts and your own non-existent love life. 

So, before Dean could speak up or fix his aim, you let your hand slide against the back of his neck and pulled his head down towards yours. Your lips pushing against his in a quick, breathless and giddy kiss. Barely allowing yourself to linger at the taste of him or let the world fall away around you before you stepped back, just as Dean’s lips became pliable against yours. 

The quick-witted hunter, did however have lightning fast reflexes after years in the business. So, before you could fully slip away from his arms, he’d reached out to pull you against him again, wrapping strong arms around your waist. Pupils blown and lips slightly parted as he let his tongue wet them, tasting you on them. 

The growl that left him was low and deep in his chest, yet from this close you could easily hear it above the music. The animalistic need in it sending shots of heat through your system. He wanted this, he wanted you, and damn it, you wanted to properly savour him as well. To fully let yourself drown in the taste of peppermint and spice that you’d only gotten a small teased hint of.

But that would have to wait until after you won the game and proved you were the better shot. You were nothing if not stubborn after all. 

And so, you only allowed him to pull you back against him for a few short seconds. His lips parting as he groaned against your mouth, all willing and wanting. Teasing a moan from you that he easily swallowed as his hands roamed against your sides, seeming annoyed at the hard plastic that stopped him from tracing your curves. 

An annoyance that only grew when you pulled away again and he pushed his torso forward trying to follow. A greedy mouth looking for yours with a greedy desperation as you raised the handgun and stepped back away with a smirk and a wink. 

Dean’s eyes were so focused on your lips that he barely even seemed to notice the gun until you took proper aim. Green eyes widening, though he made no move to raise his own. Still too stunned and rattled from your surprise kiss.

Letting your teeth grazing against your lower lip; you shot him at point blank range before turning with a laugh and walking away. Your pace unhurried and an extra little swing to your hips from where you felt his eyes roaming your body in jeans you knew for a fact were very flattering. Leaving the big guy dazed against the wall; his own gun forgotten in his hand and the win as good as yours. 

By the way his eyes burned into your body before you slipped around the corner, counting down the last seconds, you already knew how you’d be celebrating your win. Pushed up against a wall somewhere as Dean’s lips explored your neck and mouth properly. Teeth marking your throat and a dangerously low groan trapped in his chest. One big hand circling your wrists and keeping them pushed over your head to stop you from running away again and one big, toned thigh pushed between your legs.

Not that you minded. Hell, that would be way better than any trophy or money you could ever win from your challenge. 

Tags:

Dean Winchester Tags: @ria132love​​ @woodworthti666​​ @defenderrosetyler​​  @akshi8278​​ @justanotherwinchester​​ @lyarr24​​ @torn-and-frayed​​ @all-will-be-well-love​​ @wearesuchstuff1​​ @thefridgeismybestie​​ @adoptdontshoppets​​ @punof-agun​​ 

Forever Tags: @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @hobby27  @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sea040561 @donnaintx @alwaysdreamingforthebest  @thatmotleygirl​ @chocolateheart @superfanficnatural @flamencodiva @starryeyeseunbyul​

---

#dean winchester #Tales89Writes #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester fluff #dean supernatural #supernatural dean #dean fluff #supernatural fluff #dean winchester fanfic #dean fanfic #dean winchester reader insert #dean winchester fanfiction #dean fanfiction #supernatural #spn #dean fic #dean x you #dean x y/n #deanwinchester #dean winchester x y/n

[jaskierswolf]

The Bard of Kaer Morhen pt.3/4

Previous

Jaskier was still eighteen the third time he met a witcher.

Two new witchers in one year. It was officially his favourite age so far.

He was also beginning to suspect that he had a type.

He’d always loved freely and had never really considered the idea of him having a type before. He didn’t care about looks or gender. He simply just fell in love with whoever was standing in front of him. It was both a blessing and a curse. Sure he had his preferences in bed but that was less about the person and more about the variety of sex, but even then he could adapt his own particular interests to suit his partners. It was all about working out what worked best for both of them and he was extremely good at it.

He was playing in a tavern in Posada when he saw him.

Geralt of Rivia.

Now this was a witcher that needed no introduction. He was infamous, the Butcher of Blaviken. His silver hair drew Jaskier’s attention over the crowd. He was sat alone in a dark corner of the tavern and Jaskier almost missed a note when he realised that Geralt was staring at him.

And oh those eyes.

The same as Eskel and Lambert.

Witcher’s eyes.

Like the finest honey in the Continent.

He finished up his ballad as quickly as he could without completely destroying the performance and then bowed to his adoring audience. They tossed coins in his direction which he hurried to scoop up. He gave a handful to the barkeeper’s daughter as she passed, and picked up a full mug of ale, never taking his eyes off the witcher. He couldn’t. He was trapped in Geralt’s eyes. They lured him in like moths to a flame. Like he was a vampire and Geralt’s blood was the finest he would ever taste.

No.

That was shit.

And gross.

He would stick to honey and flower metaphors in future. He was good with those.

He leant against the pillar and smiled seductively at the witcher who was still staring at back at him in a way that made his heart sing. “I love the way you just sit in the corner and brood.”

Geralt smirked and picked up his drink. “You’re the bard.”

Jaskier tilted his head, flicking his fringe from out of his eyes. “I’m a bard.” He agreed. “One of many I imagine. It’s a popular profession.”

Geralt growled and Jaskier was gone. His heart now belonged to this man. He was gorgeous and sexy and to the gods Jaskier wanted to drag Geralt’s leather clad ass upstairs to his room immediately.

“Why do you do it?” Geralt asked watching Jaskier with an intensity that was honestly killing him.

“Do what exactly?” He hummed as he slipped onto the bench opposite the witcher and licked his lips.

Geralt’s eyes flickered down to his lips and Jaskier did a little dance in his head. Finally!

“The songs, the coin, the poems.” Geralt tilted his head. “No one else gives a fuck about witchers. So why?”

Jaskier rested his chin on his hands and watched Geralt as he thought about his answer. “Why not?” He settled on. “Eskel saved my life in Oxenfurt, and I thought it would be a good way to repay the debt. I never dreamed it would be so successful.”

Geralt raised an eyebrow. “That’s not how Eskel tells it.”

Jaskier smirked as he leant forward on the table. “How does Eskel tell it, my darling witcher?”

Geralt leaned forward so that Jaskier could feel the heat of his breath brush his cheeks. “That you tried to seduce him, begged him to take you home.”

Jaskier’s cheeks felt like they were on fire as he took a shaky breath, arousal flooding his senses. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from whimpering like a fool and cocked his head. “Well, you can’t blame a man for trying, Geralt.” He purred the witcher’s name and looked up at him through his eyelashes.

Geralt reached across the table and grabbed Jaskier’s wrist tightly, bringing it up to his nose. He sniffed deeply and Jaskier furrowed his brow before raising an eyebrow at the witcher’s antics.

“You aren’t afraid?” Geralt breathed huskily.

Jaskier laughed and moved his hand in Geralt’s grip so he was cupping the witcher’s cheek. There was a prickle of silver stubble beneath his fingers and he couldn’t help but stroke his thumb along Geralt’s cheekbone.

“My dear witcher.” Jaskier smiled fondly at the man in front of him. “Why would I be afraid?”

Geralt growled and pulled away and then gestured to the crowd in the tavern behind Jaskier. “Ask any of them.” Jaskier glanced behind him and scoffed.

“They simply don’t know you.” Jaskier rolled his eyes.

“You don’t know me.” Geralt muttered.

Jaskier let his hand rest on Geralt’s arm and squeezed gently. “Not yet, but I wasn’t lying when I said Eskel saved my life. He saved my life and ensured that I got home safely when there was no reward for doing so, even though I was quite honestly being a bit of a brat.”

Geralt chuckled.

Jaskier grinned sheepishly. “We all do things we’re embarrassed about when we’re sixteen.”

Geralt raised an eyebrow. “So what’s your excuse with Lambert?”

Jaskier laughed as he remembered his encounter with the prickly witcher from earlier in the year. “Oh come on, Geralt.” He whined but continued to trail his fingers along Geralt’s arm. “Why must you shame me in this way?”

“Seems you have type, bard.” Geralt chuckled fondly and stopped Jaskier’s flirtatious caresses on his arm by catching Jaskier’s hand in his.

Jaskier was incredibly pleased with this latest development. He smiled softly at his witcher. “Perhaps,” He laced their fingers together. “Or perhaps every breath, every rejection, every missed opportunity was just leading me here. To you.”

Geralt scoffed. “Romantic fool.”

Jaskier pouted at the new love of his life. “Geralt.”

Geralt frowned.

“Bard?” He asked looking a bit confused.

Oh.

 Oh.

“Oh Melitele, You idiots don’t even know my name!” He gasped and fell back in his seat, pulling his hand away from the witcher.

Geralt grumbled something under his breath.

“No no no. Use your words, witcher!” Jaskier snapped. “I sing your praises all over the Continent for two bloody years and not one of you knows my name! I am a famous troubadour Geralt!”

“It’s not our fault you have so many bloody monikers. Dandelion, Daffodil, Fleur-de-lis, Buttercup, Daisy, Marigold.” Geralt sniped back. “Two years, bard, and not one person has been able to tell me your name.”

Jaskier smiled coyly. “You’ve been asking about me?”

“Professional curiosity. You’ve made all our lives a lot easier, bard.” Geralt mumbled. “It seems only fair to know who we’re thanking.”

Jaskier tilted his head at the witcher. “Aren’t you a gentleman?”

Geralt just hummed gruffly and Jaskier patted the witcher gently on his cheek. To his surprise the witcher leant into his touch ever so slightly, he was certain that Geralt hadn’t even noticed he was doing it.

Jaskier was falling in love even more with every moment that passed between them. Yes the witcher was, like all witchers, fucking sexy, but he was also gentle and kind, thoughtful and surprisingly vulnerable? He was certain that most people would call him mad for saying that but Geralt seemed genuinely hurt that the world saw him as a monster.

Jaskier just couldn’t comprehend that at all.

He was dangerous and lethal yes, but only when he needed to be, or at least Jaskier assumed as much based on his encounters with Eskel and Lambert. Eskel in particular had never drawn his sword unless he absolutely had to, Lambert admittedly was faster to attack but then he was less forgiving to the world that showed him no mercy and Jaskier could hardly blame him for that.

“So, Geralt…” Jaskier hummed thoughtfully. “Tell me a story.”

Geralt rolled his eyes and smirked. “No.”

“No?” Jaskier cried. “What do mean no?”

Geralt grinned. “You’ve had enough second hand stories, bard.”

Jaskier narrowed his eyes at the witcher whilst he considered his words, smiling as he realised the implication behind the words. “I can come with you?”

Geralt hummed and nodded his head. “As long as you stay back and do as I say. Vesemir would kill me if I got you killed.”

Jaskier tilted his head. “Vesemir?”

Geralt grunted but didn’t elaborate which was fine! Jaskier would draw out more details from the witcher eventually. It seemed no witcher was totally immune to his charms.

“So when do we start?” Jaskier leaned his chin on his arms and looked up into Geralt’s eyes, happily getting lost in their swirling amber depths.

Geralt shrugged. “When I get a job.”

Jaskier grinned and leapt up from the table, bounding back to where he’d stored his lute behind the bar. There were still a few songs left in his witcher centric repertoire that he had yet to play, he could easily tweak the lyrics a little, make them about the witcher tucked away in the back of the tavern… the Butcher of Blaviken.

No.

That wouldn’t do.

He appraised Geralt thoughtfully and grinned as his muse came to him.

The White Wolf!

He took a deep breath, brushed his fingers against the strings of his lute and the tavern fell silent as he began to sing.

Geralt hadn’t intended to invite the bard along when he noticed him dancing and flirting with the crowd. He had had no doubt that this was the one. He was Eskel’s bard. He’d watched completely enraptured by the bard’s performance. His gaze drifting over the bard’s surprisingly muscular body. He’d imagined him to be slight and effeminate, like many bards were but that wasn’t the case. His legs were long but muscular. As he perched one foot on a bench and strummed freely on the strings of the lute, Geralt hadn’t managed to stop his gaze from being drawn to the man’s calf.

And his voice.

He’d played effortlessly with the melody and even Geralt’s untrained ear could tell that singing came as naturally to this man as breathing. He didn’t have to strain to reach any of the notes and his voice didn’t shake no matter how much he danced and spun and flirted with the patrons of the tavern.

No, Geralt hadn’t intended to do anything more than simply introduce himself and find out what the damned bard’s name was and yet, here they were travelling side by side towards  the fields where the supposed devil had been spotted.

And he still didn’t know the idiots name.

He swore, silencing the chattering bard who looked at him curiously.

“Everything alright, Geralt?” He asked, cornflower blue eyes shining in the bright sunlight.

“Why flowers?” He asked the troubadour who smirked and gently dampened the resonating sound of his lute strings with his hand.

“We all have our secrets, witcher.” The brunet winked and strode on ahead.

Geralt frowned and ignored the surge of desire that rushed through him at the bard’s easy flirtations. “Well which one is it?”

“Which one is what?”

Geralt grabbed the bard by his shoulders spun him round so he was facing him. Geralt didn’t miss the spike of lust in the bard’s scent and filed that away for later. Not that there would be a later. One adventure, one song and some extra cash. That was all this would be.

“You know damn well, bard.” He spat out and gripped the man tightly so he couldn’t escape this time. “No changing the subject.”

“As if I would do that!” The troubadour gaped in offence and a quick sniff of the air told Geralt that he was only teasing him. “In all my days.”

“Bard.” Geralt was half-minded to forget the whole thing and gallop away on Roach but he was pinned in place by the mischievous twinkle in the bard’s gaze. He sighed and released his grip on the man.

“I call myself Jaskier.” He answered with open arms and a dramatic bow.

“Jaskier.” Geralt frowned. “From Novigrad?”

“Oxenfurt.” Jaskier corrected. “I am rather delighted that it was translated differently across the Continent. Although it does make it a little harder to make myself known.”

“You’re the bard that sings the songs of the witchers, of Kaer Morhen.” Geralt hummed. “The name didn’t matter as much as the stories.”

Jaskier cocked his head. “It did to you.”

“Hmm.” Geralt agreed. “Jaskier’s not your real name.”

“No.” Jaskier admitted.

“Will you tell me?” Geralt asked.

Jaskier shook his head. “Not yet, maybe eventually, dear heart.”

Geralt’s heart didn’t soften at the newest term of endearment.

Witchers were made of sterner stuff than that.

But he did smile fondly at his new companion behind his back as they headed deeper into the farmland.

_____

Next

#the witcher #the bard of kaer morhen #geraskier #geraskier fanfiction #geralt of rivia #jaskier pankratz #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #geralt/jaskier #wolfie's witcher writing

[oloreaa]

OK REA, well, OK! I’m crying my eyes out and my heart is overflowing with love for VEN 17. Uhhh hm I was a goner at “Elana realized that [Bean] was giving her many little clumsy kisses in her forehead, which made her shake even more” so you knowww,, when EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPENED IT WAS LIKE GETTING SNIPED. You didn’t give us getting crumbs, you were throwing just,, handfuls of diamonds at us I don’t even know where to start here... but #1 I have to get this off my chest, I AM DYING to give Elana a hug and just let her have a cry in peace!!! F*kk “The Galaxy” for being a place where people are forced to be familiar with death!! I’m so sorry everyone has to fight for their homes and for their loved ones and that’s just the way that life is but it’s NOT what they deserve and Least Of All Elana and I get that they’re tryna help but NO ONE is Letting her grieve how twisted that is!!! (Um Down With the Republic, Frog Lady for Chancellor idk). Elana wishing for a mask so she can hide her feelings? Elana trying not to rely on Bean to make her feel better so he doesn’t have to carry any of her pain? Elana Who Is So Freaking Honest and Righteous She Says What’s On Her Mind Even When She’s Worried It Will Get Her In Trouble?? (I mentioned I was crying right?) Elana “But She Did Not Have Anyone” Lissiri has ME OK,, Ok that being said,,, Din... the Din you wrote in this chapter... I have more respect for him than I do for anyone I have ever met,, holy shit...ok: “Mando was careful in placing a hand down in the grass beside her...’You did well,’ he said quietly, ‘Not many would have been able to do what you have done’”, the HAND on the SMALL OF HER BACK, umm leaning against the door frame helmetless and barefoot ok I almost passed out, (ELANA BEING EVEN MORE TERRIFIED BY HIS HUMANITY!! IN THIS ESSAY I WILL...), greeting Bean with so much obvious affection, handing Elana a bowl of soup!, Not Pushing Elana to Talk But Admitting To Omera He Was Worried, gently touching Elana’s scarred wrists obviously is like a Hozier song in it of itself, OK but the reason I respect This Din more than life is bc he refuses to let the guilt eat Elana alive—he’s keeps checking in with her over and over and making sure she’s seeking help (even if it’s not from him) and inviting her to reframe her experience so it doesn’t kill her Even when she runs from him and even when she won’t speak to him and even when she snarls at him and intentionally hurts him, instead of running and letting her sort it out alone, he continues to stand by her and encourage her and support her choices. That Din,,, I’d trust him with anything...Anyway I’ve started saving a list of my favorite quotes from Ven on my phone if u wanna know, let me know but if I keep writing while I’m emotional you’re gonna have an 8k comment on your 8k chapter so instead let’s have some MEMES, today’s flavor is Jane Austen, bon appetit:

Edward Ferrars chops wood in the rain bc this type of work “allows someone to relieve their feelings”... not saying someone should give Elana an axe but 👀

Now the obligatory P&P (2005) set:

Every time Din’s hands curl at his sides bc he wants to touch Elana and prove that these hands, these hands that have done so much damage could never treat her with anything less than reverence, but he’s not allowed, he doesn’t deserve it and he shouldn’t want it but he wants to prove that he’s become a better man,,,

Then,

Hmmm “An unspoken shift, of something that both of them could feel, something that was—”

And finally some Emma (2020), Din ripping off the beskar and trying to understand what just happened in this conversation

I hope you’ve enjoyed this round of Ven memes,, Elana deserves her own post so I’ll come back soon! Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us! You literally deserve the Milky Way <3 I hope you get some good rest and treat yourself to some delicious snacks and some heartwarming Rat Boy fics!

OKAY FIRST OF ALL I WAS BLOWN AWAY BY THIS OMG🥺🥺🥺🥺 you're the best AAAAAA i am in awe of this!!

I'm so glad that you liked this chapter so much, seeing all the things you point out, MY HEART, we all can agree that Bean provides her with the snuggles, though🥺 (and when they get their shit together, Din might also provide snuggles)

FROG LADY AS CHANCELLOR I am absolutely down with this concept and you have a galaxy brain, so MUCH in Star Wars would be solved if Frog Lady was in charge😭😭

Elana definitely needs some downtime and some peace and quiet, and there will be a lot of calmer moments in the next one, I promise! She will get some rest🥺

HOO BOY Din was unbelievably fun to write in this chapter and it was GLORIOUS to finally have everything laid bare, and yes👀👀 him sans armour was one of my favourite scenes, and DGDHDH babe Hozier song??? Don't mind ME crying omg🥺😭😭❤ I am beaming right now you're too kind!

LMAOO the "back pedalling away from Cara's hookup" had me cackling, I was wondering how many had picked that one up💀💀💀

GIVE ME ALL THE VEN MEMES DHDHDHD oh my gosh the P&P fits too perfectly omg😭

Thank you so much for this absolutely amazing ask, I am just???? Blown away by the detail and this made me laugh so much, I absolutely adore you oh my gosh!! Please have my undying gratitude, thank you so much!!!

#💌 #🌼🌻 #THIS WAS A RIDE FROM START TO FINISH #BABE I LOVED THIS SO MUCH I CANNOT EVEN PUT THIS INTO WORDS #EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT #dont mind me rereading this 500 times omg i love you #vencuyanir

[cosmosrival]

👀 Does Kama like to peg Ash? 👀

u know what... ? u know what ?

KamAsh headcanons (AND NSFW HEADCANONS) time!!!!!! i don’t care anymore i had fun writing the kama*master ones 

so have these !!!!! might also become a character analysis and trivia because i cannot stay consistent when im talking about them !!!!

reminder bfore i start: ITS FINAL ASCENSION KAMA. NOT THE OTHERS. 

ok we’re good now

i think kama tops by default in every relationship they’re in, but their true strength resides in the fact that they are vers. and i believe that ash is ALSO vers. because flustered kama is a luxury and super cute and delicious and BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT LET YOUR GOD OF LOVE TOP YOU ???? ARE YOU SURE ??? YOU WOULDNT LET URSELF BE PAMPERED BY UR GOD ? ARE U REALLY SURE ?

ash is very cute because he’s gap moe, his respect for parvati shows that he’s not just a rage machine and can very much think normally like ur regular gold hearted delinquent anime boy !!!! god i Love him... anyway, i think he respects kama enough to look out for them and worship them like a proper God!! i believe that ash would call kama things like ‘your divinity’, ‘your grace’ (and if u have some jp knowledge, i think he’d add “-sama” to their name) because they... are god? (i think arjuna and karna also call them like this !! polite mahabharatan warriors are good boys)

since ash never married in the epic, i like to think that it’s because he was very much focused on his duty and ALSO because his participation in the war was out of loyalty towards king dhritarashtra and hastinapur so he was... perhaps planning on getting married once the war Ends ??? HE WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING !!!!!!! but we all know what happened to him (sheds a tear) 

anyway i think he’d be a bit of a masochist. (the room falls silent and you all look at me)

SORRY THAT WAS VERY HARDCORE ALL OF A SUDDEN but hear me out, FIRST OF ALL this man was able to endure an immortality curse until lord krishna eventually decided to free him so he’d join the throne and SECOND OF ALL, in his interlude he speaks of looking for ways to repent because he regrets what he’s done. and since we’re kinky over here, i’m gonna throw gentle femdom in the mix bc i think it fits them and its cute. especially because kama is literally the best person he could apologize to. and the only person who’d make his repentance pleasurable (because its their mcfreakin talent !!!!!) even if it technically wasnt his fault, i think his need to atone would just... overpower that and he’ll want to do anything kama wants, just to earn a crumb of forgiveness (without being desperate about it because... HES GOT AN EGO STILL, COME ON)

i like to think that he’s tried to apologize properly before... in a tense moment when they’re both more calm and alone. but kama stopped him because it’d just make things worse. if kama loses the need to have a grudge, will they even be useful as a servant anymore ? would they forgive themself for being so lenient ? forgiving their murderer’s protégé when they havent even had proper revenge ? kamadeva might have been a benevolent god before, but now they’re a lot more malicious (mara...) and this pointless anger would just make them look like an idiot (because servant shiva doesnt exist (YET?)). and i think ashwatthama would understand. 

so he won’t say the words “i’m sorry” because it’d just hurt them. 

THO WILL HE STOP LOOKING OUT FOR THEM AND SPOILING THEM ? no he will not

kama would find him interesting because he’s perfect bullying fodder but as i said before, it doesn’t work on ash. HE’S A WARRIOR ??? A CURSED IMMORTAL ? DO U THINK THAT PETTY PRANKS LIKE THE ONES KAMA DOES WOULD AFFECT HIM ? “are you bored ?” he asks while they’re trying to surprise him from behind and jumpscare him, without even turning to face them. kama groans in defeat.

SEDUCTION DOESNT WORK ON HIM EITHER AND THATS SO FUNNY but thats where it becomes subtle, he grows attached to them because they’ve gotten used to eachother’s presence (and strength in battle... small things like that). love can be born out of simple things!! blatant bimbo seduction doesn’t work on him but when he comes to wake kama up, and they’re too lazy to get up or float and groggily order him to lean forward so they can hold onto his shoulders so he’ll lift them up when he straightens himself is...

he’d find it cute. they’re cute. when they reach the cafeteria it’s still quite early and he already knows what they like to eat and get their plate ready for them while they’re waking up and yawning. god... they’re cute... its so subtle and cute...

......ok time to be horny !!! (TOMATOES GET FLUNG AT ME)

i think that they’d reach this stage after a while, when kama just gives up on bothering him cuz he’s annoyingly strong (and ganesha is more fun to bother anyway) and since they’re around eachother very often, kama would grow comfortable around him. same for ashwatthaman ! they’re very nice to be around when they’re calm and just chillin. 

the only teasing kama hasn’t tried on him is being openly horny and come onto him, asking him things about himself. and ash revealing that he’s never done these sorts of things before (HES A LIL MAD CUZ ITS EMBARRASSING ... DAMN... !!!), i think it’d give kama ideas. I MLAUGHING TYPING THIS BC I DIDNT THINK OF HOW THEY’D COAX HIM INTO GETTING NAUGHTY YET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD PORN INTRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok yeah like i said i didnt think of the coaxing yet but knowing ash, kama could turn it into a competition and make fun of him a little and he’s ready to go. arrogant dummy. 

he’s polite but his arrogance is a charm point because he’ll def want to prove himself to the god of carnal love. imagine kama’s reaction when he actually outfucks them.

HONESTLY ? I BELIEVE HIS WARRIOR STAMINA WOULD JUST BE INCREASED ONCE HE BECAME A SERVANT. AND KAMA WAS NEVER A WARRIOR theyre a lavish and lazy god.

BUT THEIR EGO IS WOUNDED and their shocked reaction is cute and ash wants to keep holding them for a little longer

their sessions genuinely feel like hatefucking at first since they’re both weirdly competitive like that but then, guilt hits and kama feels like an idiot because they just came onto someone thats supposedly their enemy??? and they’re a bit distant in the aftermath, they almost... look a little shy. 

ashwatthaman isnt beating himself over it as much as they are tho. it felt good, he got to see a new side of them he never thought he’d get to see so intimately and... he outfucked God :) SO HE IS PROUD. but looking at them lying there, breathless and looking all sad worries him. so i can see him leaning forward and spooning them, holding their hand and kissing their fingers and it’s such a soft gesture, kama stutters and asks “Where.. where did you learn to do that.” and seeing their reaction, Ash blushes as well and explains that he saw his father kiss his mom’s hand once???? AND ITS... SUCH A CUTE AND OBVIOUS REASON. kama feels dumb for asking but it makes them chuckle. 

and i think seeing someone who constantly looks so tired and depressed, have a genuine little chuckle would melt ash right there. i think he’ll want to see more. 

AND FROM THAT POINT ON, i think kama would also get used to this... intimacy they start to share. when he wraps his arms around them he always hugs them in this protective way, as if he wanted to shield them from something. and when he holds them like that, they always feel the need to wrap their legs around his waist, hide their face against his neck and Allow him to cuddle them.

they both have an ego u know aha. so if u openly ask them about eachother, they’ll get embarrassed and shut u down. IT’S... IT’S NOT LIKE THAT (sweats)

it is. it is like That. 

ANYWAY THEYRE BOTH VERY VERSATILE and ash is pretty much into everything kama could teach him about. like i said earlier, he’s also fine with being manhandled, mostly the feeling of kama’s nails gently pressing against his skin, or being bit. i think he’d be into getting a lil feral.

a mutual once said that sexually liberated ashwatthama is hot as hell and i feel it in my bones.... kama coming onto him after a particularily short mission that got ash angry but not enough to let out some steam --> they get pounded into the mattress and they live for it because riling him up when he’s like that is actually really fun.

OBSESSED WITH THE BOTH OF THEM SLOWLY SEEING IT AS A GAME AFTER A WHILE... 

OH ash bottoming is also very cute. his first times would be awkward but kama is a pro at this anyways and i’m finally going to answer ur ask: YEAH HE GETS PEGGED !!!!! he finds out how excited he gets when kama calls him a good boy !!! and he never knew that he was into these sorts of things but holy shit it feels nice.

when kama gives him his first blowjob he almost loses his mind

what i really love about kama is that they can see how tense he gets, even if he’s having a great time, and i know they’d teach him how to relax. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RIDING HIM, they’ll massage his pecs and his shoulders, set the pace and squeeze down on him just to hear him moan. stare at his surprised little face because he didn’t know he could make THAT kind of nois e ? ? ? ? ?

HE’S EMBARRASSED but he doesn’t want them to stop

OH YEAH i wanna come back on the whole masochist thing (I GET SNIPED), him getting repentance and being punished through sex is both very liberating and hot as hell, especially when it’s kama. ashwatthaman moaning ‘your divinity’ like it’s a prayer is also hot as hell !!!!!!! IDK i just think that they can both get very intense, and also last a while, until they’re thoroughly SPENT.

...and leave room for softness. kama gently brushing his wet hair behind his ear, leaving him breathless and a little shy. they then lean in to kiss him and he immediately melts into their touch. but then they bite his lip. and he ... he Likes it but he could almost pout.

time to get a little angsty (i lock gazes with you) i think that after a long while of sharing such a relationship, ash would almost say The Forbidden Words in a daze. and kama deeply kisses him so he stays quiet. and they’re just staring at eachother, until kama tells him that he’s not allowed to say it. and if he does, it’ll almost be a betrayal towards shiva AND themself. they’ve grown impossibly close but neither of them can say Those Words because they both feel like they’ll break something.

also bc they both have huge egos.

but i think that deep down they really want to say them. 

another variant of this is kama wanting to make him admit it, have him say Those Words. but because of his blessing and respect towards lord shiva, he cannot. both because of the guilt and that it’d end up feeling like a lie, even if his touches, his kisses and the way he looks at kama screams otherwise.

BUT REE WHAT ARE THE FORBIDDEN WORDS

"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" Hercules (1997).

is this enough of a clue ;;);)););;;))))))) HAAHA

THEY HAVE SO MANY LAYERS TO THEM ITS UNREAL

anyway shower sex hot !! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i also think that them mutually jerking eachother off is hot as all hell and ONCE AGAIN, flustered ash who doesn’t know what he’s doing (at first) is cute !!!! cute !!

ashwatthaman LEARNING from kama is also a big fave. they’re abt to bathe in kama’s luxurious bathtub they had master buy for them and they’re removing their earrings and he silently leans forward and bites their ear and suddenly their face is red. god. huge dummy god of love. i love them soooo much its unreal

THEIR DYNAMIC IS BASICALLY.. I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE but still look at eachother like they’re newlyweds everytime they get intimate and (sheds a tear) i think theyre super married

GOOD GOD .......BODY WORSHIP IS SOMETHING THEYRE BOTH HEAVILY INTO ALSO. both giving and receiving, even if kama is a lot less obvious about it and a lot more smug.

oh, i think ash would be the loudest between the two !! THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS. hearing him like that would also coax kama into making more noise as well so its win-win 

ok to be honest i think i should draw porn of them being soft like... THERES DETAILS I HAVE IN MIND THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE DOWN IN THE HEADCANON FORMAT and i’m too nervous about writing fics (looks away) but i have things to draw.

ANYWAY I THINK THIS GOT VERY LONG ????????? SO IM GONNA STOP HERE. IF U MADE IT THIS FAR: THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY BRAINWORM !!!! 

#answered #ree's fgo hcs #lemon #kamAsh #ashkama #there u go !! both tags just Because

[warsmith-38]

How I would do RWBY pt.8

Season eight.

Salem knows Cinder is coming back home.

Is patiently waiting for her to arrive with Myrmidon at her side.

Cinder shows up, hoping for mercy.

Salem suddenly has an inconvenient gap in her vocabulary when Cinder says that word.

Reminds Cinder that not only did she tell them her plan, she told them how to destroy said plan.

Cinder makes her excuses, “I had to. I didn’t have a choice. We can make another plan,” et cetera.

Salem decides to give Cinder one last chance after fucking up a plan that was older than she was.

Defeat Myrmidon and she can have her old position of number two again.

Myrmidon kicks the absolute shit out of her.

Cinder keeps making little mistakes, blames her new (metal) arm, and Myrmidon exploits every opening.

Myrmidon is sadistically playing with Cinder at this point.

Cinder pops smoke and runs the fuck away.

Myrmidon is stopped from chasing her, being told that Cinder’s execution can wait.

They must finish preparing Plan B.

She does in fact owe this latest plan to Cinder in a roundabout fashion.

The dramatics in Atlas have made Salem remember a little detail that has helped her in the past.

Nothing unites quite like a war.

The free peoples of the world either need a single enemy to face together or they need a factory reset apocalypse to recover from.

Either or, Salem isn’t picky.

The people will be all the stronger no matter which problem they have to overcome.

Ozpin getting directly involved is a snag, but she’s worked around him before.

Regardless of outcome she’ll go dormant for a few generations until most people forget she existed and then it’s back to work.

Her first target is Vacuo.

She would have preferred Vale, but she’s willing to compromise.

Grimm begin to swarm into Vacuo territory.

They had their own version of The Maginot Line, for all the good it does them.

Myrmidon is leading the charge and is the one that tears a big ass hole in their defenses.

Ozpin realizes that Salem has decided ‘fuck it’ on the whole illuminati conflict thing they’ve been doing.

Open warfare it is.

Ozpin has RWBY, JN(P)R, and SSSN sent to Vacuo to see if they can help while he calls the banners with the rest of his council.

RWBY, SSSN, and JN(P)R link up with the Vacuo Defense Force.

Meet the grimm assault with an assault of their own.

Fierce fighting pushes the grimm back to The Maginot Line.

Victory is at hand.

Everyone has a moment or two for a breather and conversations.

Then the second wave of grimm arrive.

They’re not acting like grimm usually do.

They’re using actual military tactics.

Feigning retreats, denying strategic points, and attacking weak spots you wouldn’t think would be weak.

The Black Myrmidon is directing them.

RWBY and JN(P)R have a go at her.

Myrmidon is giving a good fight, but it’s still eight on one.

Penny starts convulsing then starts attacking RWBY and JNR while saying she’s not in control.

Yang’s arm stops doing what she wants it to.

Suddenly nobody can land a hit.

Reminds people of old sparring matches.

Ren dumps his pistols and goes full kung-fu badass on Myrmidon.

Knocks off her helmet.

It’s Pyrrha. (Audience was meant to know because obvious. It’s more about the in story reveal)

She may be fucked up with grimm taint and looking like a mini-Salem, but it’s very much the Pyrrha they knew and mourned.

Everyone is stunned.

Grimm are starting to lose more ground.

Pyrrha sounds the retreat.

Grimm pull back and Grimm Blitzkrieg has been halted.

RWBY and JN(P)R are reeling from events.

Nora is inconsolable and even Ren is failing to hold it back.

Jaune is just quiet.

Penny is trying to help her new teammates as best as she can, but they’re only so much that she can do.

Ask Ozpin + The Council and EMN via video call if they knew anything about this. They didn’t.

Qrow theorizes that Tyrian was a prototype of what was done to Pyrrha.

A dead huntress revived and controlled via grimm corruption that emulates an aura.

Not only still capable as she was in life, still being able to use her semblance, and still as intelligent, but also being powered up by Salem herself.

The Council shudders to imagine an entire army of that.

To take their mind off of the thing, RWBY go scouting to see if they can find any sort of intel.

On mission they find a beaten and almost dead Cinder.

Ruby says there’s nothing to see here.

WBY say that she could have intel they could use.

Ruby says there’s nothing. To. See. Here.

WBY pick up Cinder and take her back to base.

Ruby wants it on record that this was munity from WBY.

Cinder regains consciousness and is genuinely shocked that they helped her.

Finally realizes that Salem does not give the faintest shit about her anymore if she ever really did.

Doesn’t really vibe with Ozpin, but wants to fuck over Salem as much as she can now.

Ozpin says he does not trust her, but does trust her desire for revenge.

Sends EMN, who are firmly on Ozpin’s side now (if only for self-preservation), as reinforcements and to try to help keep Cinder compliant.

Cinder tells Ruby not to worry.

After Salem is dealt with they can sort things out between them.

Cinder provides as much strategic and tactical advice as she can.

Her intel wins a few engagements and saves quite a few lives.

Despite this, Jaune says that he refuses to directly work with Cinder. Nora and Ren both mirror that statement.

They say that they’ll work with her intel, but can’t be held responsible for what might happen if they are left in the same room as her.

To them, the current situation with Pyrrha is actively Cinder’s fault.

It would have been less egregious if Pyrrha was just dead and not some insane zombie.

Penny volunteers to operate as the middlebot.

Ruby is on Jaune’s side and her clout helps keep Jaune at the strategist’s table.

The Myrmidon is spotted at a forward position without a large garrison.

JN(P)R take it on themselves to go to her despite everyone saying it’s bait.

JN(P)R fight through cursory amount of grimm and get to Myrmidon.

Conversation is mired with combat.

Nora says that Ozpin might be able to help her.

Pyrrha says that Ozpin ‘helping’ her is the reason she died.

Penny says that her team still love her and miss her.

Pyrrha says that they replaced her with a robot the first chance they got.

Ren tries to appeal to her sense of logic and morality that Salem is an evil shithead.

Pyrrha says that Ozpin is no better and would rather work with the one that brought her back to life and didn’t lead her to an early grave.

Gets to the point where N(P)R is down and Jaune is the only one standing.

Their duel is hard fought, but brief.

Jaune tells Pyrrha that he knows that even with Salem’s ‘enhancements’ she still won’t kill him.

If she does, then Pyrrha Nikos is still dead no matter what magic Salem does.

Pyrrha says that that’s one of Jaune’s worst plans ever.

He tells her to shut up and do it if she can actually do it.

Pyrrha is having troubles not talking and is clearly delaying herself.

Jaune is shouting ‘do it!’ Rorschach style.

Pyrrha doesn’t. Still gives Jaune a concussion to try and take him out of the strategic fight.

Jaune, when scolded for doing something so stupid, says that he now knows there’s still enough of Pyrrha in there that he believes he can plan around her style.

Now begins the wait for the next offensive.

Cinder has moment with EMN, trying to continue as was, giving them orders and such.

EMN call her a shit and say that they ain’t got to do shit she says. Neo flips her off double deuce style.

Cinder has moment realizing just how hated she is by everyone.

Gets sad, then angry, then sad again.

Ruby and Jaune have a moment talking about their time as team leaders.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown type of thing.

The assault happens in the middle of the night.

Salem herself is leading the charge, riding a huge-ass T-rex looking grimm.

Gives a great big ultimatum to the defenders.

Surrender and join her crusade or die.

RWBY get on the loudspeaker.

Call her a bitch.

Salem does not appreciate their humor and signals the assault.

Myrmidon directing the grimm was bad enough but Salem is terrifyingly worse.

Myrmidon was connected to a sort of grimm hivemind, but Salem directly controls said hivemind.

Salem hits them like a truck on steroids.

The defenders formed a strategy, sure, but that strategy was for Myrmidon.

This was preparing for a linebacker to hit you then getting hit by, y’know, a truck on steroids.

The defensive line is swarmed, ripped apart, and overrun with little effort.

RWBY is separated by the horde.

The fighting is desperate and vicious.

Plenty of jobbers are killed or taken away behind enemy lines.

Then it stops.

The grimm just stop moving for a moment and then they retreat.

Salem then tells everyone that she did this to prove that she could kill all of them whenever she wants.

Does kowtowing sound a little more appealing now?

All the people that were just taken are released to further the point that Salem can do as she pleases.

She gives them all forty-eight hours before her next assault.

She also says that she won’t be taking prisoners that time.

Everyone has a collective moment of ‘wow, we are fucked’.

Cinder has an epiphany and takes it on herself to force a conversation with Jaune.

Jaune is about to try (and fail) to tear her head off when she says that she might have the solution to their problem.

Fuck the grimm, fuck mitigating loss, they need to snipe Salem herself with everything they have.

They can’t permanently kill her, no, but dropping her should send a sort of mental shock to the grimm and stun them for a good amount of time and make them vulnerable.

Vulnerable enough that the large amount of experienced hunters and defense troops will have the breathing space to kill as many as possible before they even get back to their default state.

It’s not much but having a window of working space before Salem gets back up is better than nothing.

Jaune asks her how the fuck are they going to manage to even touch Salem to begin with.

Cinder says to leave that to team CEMN.

He tells her to tell him or else he’s going to call in Ruby.

The plan is to exploit Salem’s fear of Ozpin using Emerald’s hallucinations and Neo’s illusions.

Salem is rarely scared, but when she is she is panicky and rather cowardly.

Cinder has only seen it once when Salem believed that Ozpin had somehow snuck into her sanctum.

They just need her to panic for a moment and then hit her with the biggest single hit they can muster.

Jaune says it’s a longshot and with the remaining forty hours they have he’ll be thinking of a better one.

But, y’know, needs must.

The next day Jaune, having failed to think of another plan, tells everyone of Cinder’s idea.

They do not care for it.

Everyone is skeptical of Cinder’s intentions (even EMN).

Cinder reminds them all that Salem wants to kill her more than most of the people present.

Even if she lets the rest of them live, ha ha, Salem is probably going to take the time to brutally execute her just to make a point.

That or Myrmidon will.

Her intention is doing the thing most likely to keep herself alive, despite the risk.

Ruby is about to threaten her until Ozpin (via video call) tells them to go through with it.

It’s basically all they have and they can’t spend their remaining time bitching about without a plan.

With great reluctance, they begin to work out a proper strategy.

One hour remains.

Weiss and Ruby have brief conversation.

Weiss commends Ruby on her maturity of being able to deal with Cinder in a non-violent manner.

Cinder has moment with EMN telling them not to take unnecessary risks.

The plan relies on them more than it does her and if they fail/die then she does too.

She also, believe it or not, cares enough about them to not want to see them die.

Salem arrives early.

She didn’t lie about the time of her attack, she just allotted about half an hour for a speech.

She gets interrupted.

By Ozpin.

Ozpin says that it’s time to settle things.

Salem wigs out a little and shies back from the front.

This behavior is mirrored by the grimm.

Defense forces strike out.

Salem is trying to organize and fight but her terror of Ozpin is keeping her on the ropes.

Eventually gets annoyed enough to try and send grimm to attack Ozpin.

Can’t land a hit.

Gets angry enough to try and attack Ozpin directly.

Lands a hit.

The illusion breaks away, revealing Neo and Emerald.

She gets attacked by Cinder and Mercury as a distraction.

Ruby has Salem in the scope of her rifle (have we all just forgotten the sniper part of Ruby’s weapon?).

Ruby has a specialized incendiary round that she can infuse with her white fire in the chamber.

She designed and fabricated it herself.

Takes the shot.

It gets blocked by Myrmidon’s thrown shield.

Myrmidon begins fighting CEMN.

Salem realizes just what has happened.

She’s impressed. Incredibly mad, but impressed.

She orders a halt to the combat.

Says that they deserve a token chance for their effort.

She will take one of the defenders for a one-on-one duel.

She’ll even hold back on her more overpowered abilities to make it more sporting.

If they win she will end her assault (and probably go somewhere else instead or just come back later).

If they lose she will continue her swarm into Vacuo.

Ruby volunteers.

WBY say that taking more than two seconds to make the decision might be a good idea.

Ruby volunteers.

JNPR, CEMN, SSSN, and the rest all agree with WBY that-

Ruby. Volunteers.

Salem has Ruby swarmed with bat/bug/whatever type grim and carries her into occupied territory.

Deep enough that they shouldn’t be easily interrupted.

Salem tells her that what she did to Summer was nothing personal, and now with the grimm nuke failed, there isn’t any reason for Salem to be against her personally.

The Cabal could use a few more capable members.

She reiterates her points on Ozpin.

He just wants to dominate the world ‘for its own good’.

Can’t have wars if you no longer have the mental ability to think for yourself.

Offer freedoms that Ozpin could nor would never give.

Tells her that she recognizes Ruby’s personality type.

She’s in love with combat.

Ruby admits that fighting makes her happy, that kicking ass gets her engines running.

Salem offers her war eternal, the chance to be fighting and winning for all time.

Ruby, once again, calls her a bitch.

Says that fighting is pointless without a good reason, like peace, to give it a purpose.

Also says that after they’ve all finally beaten her, Ozpin’s next.

Salem thought that the offer wouldn’t work but had to try.

Salem boss fight.

Salem is able to form myriad magic weapons out of thin air and change her fighting style at random.

Ruby fights as hard as she’s ever fought before.

Salem is, to her word, holding back a good amount.

It’s not helping that much.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

Myrmidon and the grimm were left to just awkwardly stand around the battlefield.

JN(P)R tries to approach her but she (conveniently) approaches CEMN.

She was told not to continue attacking the defensive line, not the bitch that killed her.

JN(P)R is now conflicted.

They could go and help an ally fight an enemy.

The problem is that that ally is Cinder and that enemy is Pyrrha.

Myrmidon has her hands full until she starts using her semblance.

Magnetism vs a team where two members have metal limbs, you do the math.

Cinder tells her to leave the rest of them alone. It’s her she wants.

Myrmidon says that since they got involved, they die too.

This is what prompts JN(P)R to action, saying it’s more about helping EMN than C.

Myrmidon grows enraged, turning her attention to JN(P)R in earnest.

In fact, everyone is so engaged that they don’t notice a dropship flying past them overhead.

Ruby is growing tired while Salem has quite literally godlike endurance.

Salem commends her for lasting far longer than she imagined.

She hasn’t been this worked up in ages.

But all good things must come to an end.

Tells her to say hello to Summer for her.

Right as she’s about to deal the final blow she gets cut off with a dropship ramming (crashing) into her.

WBY file out and scold Ruby for agreeing to try and solo a fucking demi-goddess.

Ruby apologizes but points at the dropship that Salem just threw past them.

Salem amends the fight conditions to welcome the new challengers.

RWBY vs Salem.

First real fight against the main antagonist.

Challenging fight, magic bullshit, brutal close combat, the whole nine yards.

Sways both ways until RWBY gains the upper hand.

Culminates in a big team hit that finishes the fight.

Salem congratulates them and begins pulling the grimm back from Vacuo.

She says that this is not over and reminds them that, no, she was not fighting as hard as she could have.

They eked out a win by the skin of their teeth mostly because of Salem’s survival of the fittest/fight smarter not harder type ideology was being pandered too.

Salem is then swept away in a swarm of bat/bug/bird/whatever grimm.

Myrmidon abruptly pulls away from the fight along with the grimm, giving JN(P)R one last glance.

Ozpin finally shows up in person, tardy to the party.

Gets reports from everyone that Salem has turned the Grimmland’s southern coast into a deathtrap.

If they’re going to get at her through Vacuo they’ll need a lot to dislodge her.

Ozpin tells them that he never said they were going to get her through Vacuo.

Season eight done.

#RWBY #Rewrite #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Team JNPR #Pyrrha Nikos #Salem #Ozpin #Cinder Fall #Myrmidon #How I would do... #God tagging this every time is annoying

[etherealwaifgoddess]

One In A Million - Chpt.4

Summary: After a nearly perfect Thanksgiving Rose does her best to enjoy her final days in 1941 with the guys. As much as leaving will hurt, she takes comfort in knowing she’s doing the right thing. But sometimes, doing the right thing isn’t what you had planned. Content Warning for very brief sexual content.

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! There is a whole lot packed into this chapter and I apologize for exactly none of it. Especially the last bit :D XOXO  - Ash

Chapter Four

You had expected a month in the 40s to feel like a long time but the first three weeks fly by before you can blink. You’ve adapted to life there pretty easily, though you do miss modern conveniences from time to time. There are moments where would murder for a Starbucks and just ten minutes with your iPhone. It’s worth it though. You are getting to see life in a completely different time period and learning so much more than you expected. Macie has been a great friend both at work and outside of it as well. It’s refreshing having a close female friend who you actually get to see frequently. You haven’t had regular girl time since you were studying for your bachelors degree. 

Bucky and Steve have become fixtures in your life even though you know the risk you’re running with timelines and realities. It’s only a month, you keep reminding yourself. You can’t change someone’s life that much in just a month. 

The guys come over for dinner more days than not during the week, and on weekends you find yourself hanging out with them those days too. You refuse to show either man any preference, not that you would be able to pick between them if you tried, and you hope it will keep either of them from getting any ideas. You wouldn’t do anything to intervene with what they have anyway, they’re perfect together. They both make comments from time to time about taking you out on a proper date but you just laugh off their sweet advances as nothing more than joking flattery. 

Despite Thanksgiving being abnormally late due to the way the weeks fell, the holiday sneaks up on you and you find yourself scrambling to find a turkey that Monday. The SSR office will be closed for Thanksgiving and the day after, giving you an unexpected four day weekend. The prices on meat and butter are up due to it being war time but you planned well and get everything you’ll need to make a traditional dinner for the three of you. You even get enough supplies to make both pumpkin and pecan pies. You’re looking forward to seeing Bucky’s face when he tastes the pecan pie, his sweet tooth is ridiculous. 

The girls in the typing pool are given leave at noon the day before Thanksgiving. It’s a thank you from the senior agents for their hard work and the assumption that the women will be busy in the kitchen preparing for the holiday. You don’t complain as you’re still being paid for the full week despite the time off and you hurry home to get started on the pies. 

When Steve and Bucky arrive on Thanksgiving they’re barely speaking to one another and the tension is palpable. Both men are cordial towards you but don’t spare so much as a word to the other. You settle in around your dining room table and after a few niceties from them about your cooking, the room quiets to the point where only the scraping of silverware on china can be heard. 

“Okay,” you say, setting your napkin on the table, “I’m not putting up with this shit.” two sets of eyes snap to your attention. “What on earth are you two fighting over?” 

Steve glares at Bucky who sends daggers of his own right back. “Why don’t you tell her, Steve from Murray Hill?” Bucky snipes at him. 

“Don’t start this at dinner. Please, Buck. I won’t apologize for it.” Steve grits out at him. 

“One of you had better start talking or I swear I’m throwing the pies out the window.” you threaten. 

Bucky sighs and scrubs a frustrated hand through his hair, “Stevie here went and tried to enlist again yesterday. Earned himself his fifth 4F letter. Claimed he was from Murray Hill this time. Because he’s so eager to get himself killed overseas instead of listening to what his doctors keep telling him.” 

“I’m only doing what’s right. Good men are putting their lives on the line for our country, why should I be any different?” Steve challenges, his voice low and firm.

“Because damn it Steve, you are different! What do you think you’re gonna do when your asthma stirs up in the middle of a firefight? Or when you get pneumonia again from being out in the damp cold for too long? God, or what happens when those coke bottle glasses of yours break and you can’t see two feet from your face?” Bucky’s trembling by the time his outburst is finished and he gets up, heading outside for a smoke to settle his nerves. 

“I’m sorry we ruined dinner, Rose.” Steve says quietly, his head hanging in shame and defeat.

“You did no such thing. But Steve, another 4F? Really?” you get up from your seat and go over to stand behind him, leaning over to hug him tightly. You know this is part of his story but it doesn’t make witnessing it any easier.

“I have to. My pa served in the first great war and it’s my turn now. I’m just doing what every man should.” 

You measure your words carefully, “You know if the doctors are worried about your health it’s probably for good reason, right?” 

“I know, but I manage just fine even with everything I’ve got going on. I can do it, I know I can.” 

“I’m sure you could, but sometimes life has different plans than we do.” you press a chaste kiss to his cheek and squeeze his thin shoulders just a little tighter for a moment. “I’m going to go check on Bucky, see if I can coax him back in so we can eat.” 

Steve nods as you grab your coat and head outside. 

Bucky is leaning against the wall of your apartment building, smoking; thick tendrils of blue smoke wafting up from his lips to the sky. He has to be freezing, having hurried out without his jacket. He watches you walk down the steps and over to him, studying you as if to try and figure out if you’re there to take his side or push Steve’s. 

“Hey you.” you say when you get in front of him, giving his boot a little kick with your shoe.

“Hey.” his tone is guarded and he looks tired. Your heart clenches, knowing how worried he must be about Steve.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this today. I mean… I get why he’s doing it. But it has to be hard for you to watch him do it.”

“It’s hell. He’s better than any of us, ya know? He wants to go do his ‘civic duty’ more than anything, regardless of what it’ll cost him. And here I am, terrified that my number is gonna be the next out of the fish bowl.” 

You pull Bucky into a tight embrace, holding onto him for dear life. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Bucky.” 

Bucky drops his cigarette and wraps his arms around your shoulders, hugging you back and letting your warmth leech through to his goose bumped skin. You want to tell him it’ll be okay but you know it won’t be. By this time next year he’ll have been drafted and off fighting in Azzano. Steve will keep trying until he meets Dr. Erskine and then it’s all history from there. 

You hold on for what feels like hours until Bucky finally pulls back. He gives a harsh sniff, his face ducked out of view and you suspect he’s hiding a few tears. You give him a minute, rubbing your hand from his shoulder to his elbow a few times in a meager offering of comfort. 

“You said there’s pie?” he asks finally.

You laugh at his question before pulling him in for a quick hug and a soft peck on the cheek. “Two kinds. But only if you eat your dinner first.” 

“Well then we should probably get back to it.” he slings an arm around your waist and together you rejoin Steve in the dining room. 

The air having been cleared, the rest of Thanksgiving dinner goes much better. You keep everyone's wine glasses full of the nice red wine you had found and stocked up on. It had been an unnecessary indulgence but you’re glad you had bought a few bottles to share. By the end of the meal their argument is long forgotten and Steve and Bucky are back to their normal bantering. You top off everyone’s glasses and move your little party to the living room to listen to President Roosevelt on the radio. The three of you are sprawled out on your sofa, limbs overlapping in a haphazard, yet comfortable, way. It’s probably not era appropriate in the least but the guys don’t seem to mind and you are too buzzed from the wine to worry. You giggle when you catch Bucky running his fingers through Steve’s hair and smiling down at him fondly. You wish more than anything you could tell them how sweet they are together, how absolutely right they are for each other, and that someday the world will be a friendlier place for their love. Instead you burrow yourself into the warmth of Steve’s chest and hum the tune of your favorite song, wishing you could hear it for a moment. 

“That’s pretty, what is it?” Steve asks when you’re done your sporadic humming.

“Ah, you haven’t heard of it.” you wave your hand dismissively, “We should go dancing.” you topic hop trying to avoid having to explain a song that won’t be written for another seventy years. 

“I’m in.” Bucky mumbles from the other side of Steve. “I’ll even keep Stevie from stepping on your toes.”

“It was one time!” Steve protests.

“I’ll wear sturdy shoes.” you assure them, “I want to dance with both of my guys.” 

Steve blushes lightly, “Oh, we’re yours now, are we?” 

You nod, the wine making you bold. “Yep. You’re stuck with me fellas.” 

“It ain’t a hardship, doll.” Bucky chimes in. 

The guys don’t stay late that night. While you have off work the following day neither of them do. You stretch out on the sofa which seems too big now that you’re the only one on it. Normally you would go out the weekend after Thanksgiving to start your Christmas shopping. You only buy big presents for a few close friends and you need time to have them picked out, wrapped, and shipped to arrive on time. You also pick up smaller things for the guys at work and you like to take your time picking things out so they are personalized for each person. You don’t have to do that right now though. It’s only October back in your real life and it’s not like you plan to take anything back with you. Well, not much anyway. You have a blouse you’ve become fond of that is absolutely going with you. There’s a lot about 1941 that you’re going to miss, both people and things. It’s going to be harder than you originally expected to go back to your time but you take comfort in knowing it’s for the best.

You end up spending the weekend hanging out with Macie. Bucky and Steve are going to see Bucky’s family for a late Thanksgiving gathering on Saturday and plan to stay over, getting back at some point Sunday night. It’s your last weekend in 1941 and you’re a little disappointed but that’s a feeling you’re just going to have to become comfortable with. You have less than a week left and a little distance from the guys might be exactly what you need, despite it being the very opposite of what you want. Your phone rings a little after eight o’clock Sunday night and you almost jump out of your skin. No one calls that late in this era. 

“Hello?” you say into the mouthpiece. 

“Rose! We’re back.” Steve’s voice comes through the receiver, a slightly tinny quality to his usual baritone. 

“Great! How was your trip? Is everything alright?” 

“I told you it was too late to call!” you hear Bucky shout in the background, followed by a thump sound and a hiss of pain. “Sorry, Rose. Everything’s fine. We just missed you, is all.”

“I missed you guys too. How was it with Bucky’s family?”

Steve tells you about their trip and a few anecdotes about Bucky’s sisters and how they tormented him as usual. The conversation doesn’t run overly long but hearing his voice, and a few choice interjections from Bucky in the background, have the ache in your chest dissipating. You invite them over for dinner on Wednesday, wanting to see them just one last time before you leave. It’s stupid, you’re only making it harder for yourself but you need to see them. One more time can’t make that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things.

Dinner on Wednesday is a lavish affair, you’ve pulled out all the stops wanting to make sure the last meal you make them is one they’ll remember. They fawn over your cooking and insist you come over one night soon so Steve can cook for a change. In the end, it’s no different than every other night the guys have come over. You laugh and talk late into the night, happy to just sit around and enjoy each other’s company. 

“We still have to take you out dancing.” Bucky reminds you as you’re saying your goodbyes for the night.

You nod past the lump that’s formed in your throat. “We do.” you agree. 

“How about Saturday night? We can get all dressed up and go down to the Stork Club.” Steve suggests. 

You fight back the wave of emotion rising up. Steve will be saying something very similar to another woman in about four years if the transcripts from the Valkyrie crash are accurate. “Sounds great.” you manage to respond, burying your face in the crook of Steve’s neck while you hug him. It’s excruciating forcing yourself to let him go. 

Bucky pulls you in for his hug next, “Wear something pretty for us, okay doll?” 

You nod against his chest, “I’ll put on my best dress. You won’t know what to do with yourselves.” 

“I can’t wait.” Bucky lets you go and turns to Steve who’s waiting patiently next to him. Slinging an arm around Steve’s shoulders the pair head out into the cold December night. You stay on the stoop watching them go until they disappear around the corner. It’s only once you’re back inside your apartment that you let yourself fall apart. It’s wrong. It’s impossible. It’s completely ridiculous, but you know you’ll be leaving two pieces of your heart back in 1941 when you leave. You barely make it to your bed before the tears start up and once they do, they don’t stop until your eyes are burning and your throat is sandpaper raw. Forgetting about your lights and the dishes you let your anguish consume you until sleep comes to claim you at last. 

You take off work the day of your jump back to modern times. It’s not like you’ll be needing the paycheck and you want time to get your apartment in order. Someone will come find it the way you leave it in a few days and you at least want to make things easy on them. You also want time to write a letter to Steve and Bucky. You can’t just leave without a word at this point, who knows what they would do to find you and how that might upset the timeline of things. It pains you to write them your goodbye letter but the closure is good for everyone. You claim you’re moving across the country to help your ailing Aunt, which seems like a plausible enough story for the times. You tell them how much their friendship means to you and that you’ll miss them. You tell them to take care of each other, wishing them only the best in their future. 

You’re wandering around your apartment, trying to find ways to kill time until your jump when you decide to make a pan of brownies to drop off with your letter. It feels fitting to leave them with one last treat. You still have all the ingredients and just enough time to make them. You get to work, not a minute to spare. Afterwards, having to re-clean the kitchen gives you something to do and fills your time while you wait for them to bake. By the time the brownies are cool enough to transport you have half an hour to your jump time. It gives you plenty of breathing room to drop off the brownies and the letter before heading to SSR. 

Steve and Bucky should both be at work but they never bother to lock their front door. You plan to leave everything on the kitchen counter and be on your way within five minutes when you arrive. A creaking, thumping sound is your first indication that something is amiss as you open the front door. The door is in mid-swing, your arms full of your bag and the brownie pan, when you hear a throaty gasp that stops you in your tracks. You’re standing in the doorway when you see them and you drop everything you’re carrying. 

Bucky is seated on the sofa, his pants down around his ankles and his shirt tossed carelessly off to the side. His head is canted back against the top of the sofa, an expression of strained determination on his face as his hips snap up against Steve’s. And then there’s Steve. He’s so beautiful, his hair shining in the midday light that filters in through the curtains. A sheen of sweat covers his naked body as he rides Bucky, meeting him thrust for thrust. He’s breathless and panting, his blunt nails scrabbling mindlessly for purchase against Bucky’s chest. It’s raw, hedonistic, and you can’t help but stare even as you drop everything in shock. At the sound of the pan and your bag hitting the floor both men’s eyes snap open to see you standing in the doorway. Bucky shouts your name and Steve flies off of him with a yelp, both of them equally frantic to cover themselves and chase after you. You grab your bag, leaving the brownies, and run down the street to the sound of Bucky calling your name. 

You don’t stop running until you’re outside the SSR office. You check your watch as you lean against the brick wall to catch your breath. You have just under ten minutes to get in and in position. God, but the looks on their faces when they saw you. You know that being a known gay man in the 1940s is as good as a death sentence and they have to be terrified you’ll turn them in. Friend or not, the ‘40s were not a forgiving time for homosexuality. And you’re leaving, they’ll never see you again so of course they’ll assume the worst. You look down at your bag where your goodbye letter to them is still safely tucked. It all went to hell so fast. You wish you had time to go back and tell them it’s okay, you won’t turn them in. You still care about them and you’re happy they have each other. You don’t realize you’re crying until you notice the tears falling on the pocket watch you’re still holding. 

You have four minutes to get to your jump point. It’s just not enough time. This is why there were alternative jump points, in case something went wrong. Well, something had sure as hell gone wrong. You can’t leave them like this, you just can’t. They’re too sweet and kind and good to abandon like this. You rub the antique brooch on your collar, you’ll just have to make the next jump instead. It’s only five more minutes in your world, the team will just have to be patient and wait. Your mind made up, you toss the goodbye letter in the trash and head down the street back to the guys apartment. 

“It’ll be okay.” you hear Bucky saying as you climb the stairs to their door, “I promise, sweetheart. No matter what happens, it’s gonna be okay.” 

The sound of Steve’s sobs tears your heart in two. You open their door unannounced yet again, letting the sound of it get their attention.

“So, are you two decent yet so I can come in or do you still need a minute?” you joke through your tears. 

Two sets of blue eyes stare at you in disbelief. 

“Oh come here you idiots.” you move towards them with outstretched arms, welcoming them to your embrace. Both men dive into your arms, clinging to you while muttering apologies and desperate thanks that you came back. You know that you did the right thing. Timelines and timing be damned. You needed more time with your guys and you’re gonna have it.

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