so i'm reading AU ideas and i this one made me think of a modern AU where geralt buys an old lamp from this store that's kinda creepy and weird and he never managed to find the store again after that??? and he was sure it was on the corner of this one street. anyway the lamp looks ordinary except that it's very much not. he has a medallion that he received from vesemir that's special and it kinda, vibrates when close to the lamp?? really weird. it also makes weird noises sometimes, like it's singing? especially around ciri. anyway he's just like eh whatever ;)
but then one day he meets yennefer and of course falls hard for her and when ciri's staying at uncle eskel's he invites her over to his place. and everything's going superbly well until she sees his lamp and she's like "oh my god" because it turns out, it's a magic lamp!!! but not in the way you think. the magic lamp is not a lamp, it's someone who was cursed!!!!! and ofc yen knows some stuff about magic and finds a way to free the person and POOF there's suddenly a jaskier! and he talks non-stop for like hours and yen & geralt are like "i preferred you better as a lamp" :D :D
THIS IS GENIUS AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT
60 notes
·
View notes
I get so tired when people say that yeah Ned is deeply traumatised but he really should get his shit together
Darlings, he can’t. That’s part of the trauma. Also there’s no therapy in Westeros, he can’t look at a decision he’s made and think oh i resonated that way because of my trauma and according to my therapist–. No one can tell him that his trauma responses are bad for him and those around him
9 notes
·
View notes
Very obvious scammer over the phone: Hello is this *insert my old name here*?
Me: Who's asking?
Scammer: This is *says his name* with *bank I'm not affiliated with*. My employee ID is *insert string of numbers* and I work with *says bank name again*. Can you confirm you are this person?
Me: Oh, yeah, this is kind of awkward but I killed her a couple of months ago and stole her phone so you might want to drop this number from your call list.
Scammer: *is silent for twenty seconds*
Me: Also, if you want to pass off as a real employee calling from this specific bank, you gotta give your social security number along with your ID. It's customary in the US.
Scammer: *is silent for another ten seconds before hanging up*
8 notes
·
View notes
usuri and kyoutani for the ask game!
IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS BUT NO I JUST KEPT IT IN MY DRAFTS ACCIDENTALLY
these were wonderful choices LMFAOOO so without further ado...
usuri!
ALT
bingo!
they are so cool looking: okay well. he's not like. COOL looking but i love his design and his little devious grins and the way his eyes look scary enough for it to be his current concern! great job furudate!
they're deeper than they seem: okay i might be a little bit off with this one, but it’s partly because the fandom doesn’t really seem to care about him or read into him much! and I think he’s more interesting than people think he is! and i like his motivations past just winning so... i marked it LMAO
they work better as part of a dynamic: YEAH him and the entirety of mujinazaka but specifically kiryuu!!!! his dynamic with kiryuu is so interesting and honestly i think this box applies to EVERY haikyuu character because the show is so clearly defined by interpersonal and intrateam dynamics! but usuri is so interesting in the way he trusts kiryuu and works with his team and dskhfdskjh.
they’ve never done anything wrong in their life <33: untrue but his puppy dog eyes make me check the box anyways. i am simply mortal i cannot resist.
if they were real i would be afraid of them: HES SO CUNNING AND DISCERNING I WOULD BE SO SCARED OF HIM. i almost checked the marry box because i would want him on my side honestly.
didn’t get enough screen time: self explanatory because he’s a background character’s background character!!! actually i think he was around enough to serve his purpose (which is why i didnt check wasted potential) and make his mark but! still i wish he was around MORE
i want to carry them in a handbag like a little dog: self explanatory. he’d be the bitchiest little dog ever. accurate small dog personality.
they got done DIRTY by fans: GIVE HIM MORE ATTENTION HES LIKE. PERFECT LOVABLE CHARACTER MATERIAL. adorable cunning little bastard??? hello??? hes so fun and funny and sdkjfhjksdh he deserves MORE. he deserves fics and hcs about his shenanigans and fun art and!!! the fandom needs to do better smh
kyoutani under the cut
ALT
if they were real i would be afraid of them: yeah probably. im no yahaba LMFAOOO. he’d glare at me and i’d be like !!!! but also maybe not because i’d probably get too annoyed at his rudeness to spend much time being scared...
they’re deeper than they seem: i think that he’s more than just a brat and the fandom doesn’t want to see that... his love for volleyball but issues with teamwork and how essential it is to the game... the way he never gives up on it to the point of going to community teams to play... the way he tries again and learns!!! moves forward!! tries for himself and other people!!!! (segue to)
they got done DIRTY by fans: i dont even know what the fandom thinks is up with kyoutani bc like. yeah. it’s definitely not what kyoutani’s actually like.
i want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog: literally mad DOG. also like i said for usuri, kyoutani’s ALSO perfect tiny dog material. absolute brat!!! barks all the time! pisses people off!
they work better as part of a dynamic: YEAH. him and all of seijoh. him and oikawa. HIM AND YAHABA. like i said this applies for basically every haikyuu character. the way kyoutani and yahaba bounce off of each other is so fun and great and the way they push each other forward...
why do they look like that: kyoutani im sorry but you look sooo stupid. it’s the truth. god bless.
7 notes
·
View notes
if a genie exist and will give me 3 wishes
i will use 1 wish for donating my boobs to a person who need it
1 note
·
View note