Natasha, during training: Alright, listen up, you little shits. Not you, Y/n. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled to have you here.
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Morgana: Alright that's it
Morgana: I’ve decided that I’m planning a wedding.
Gwen: Whose?
Morgana: Merlin and Arthur's
Gwen: They're both engaged?!
Morgana: I'll make sure they are
Gwen:
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*the squad is playing a team sport*
Carol: Aren’t you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Nat?
Y/N: Have you ever played a game with Natasha?
Carol: No…
Y/N: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?
*meanwhile, on the other side of the field*
Natasha, chasing Tony: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!
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Enid, about Wednesday: If dangerous, why friend shaped?
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Blood Moon: *texting Lunar* I heard Stitchwraith say he was going to Dairy Queen so I snuck into his car and he has no idea I’m here.
Blood Moon: *texting Lunar* He asked FC what he wanted, and I popped up from the floor and said ‘I was thinking about a milkshake’.
Blood Moon: *texting Lunar* I have never heard two people scream louder.
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Carol, to the Avengers: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.
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Marcus: I will now torture you.
Percy: Kinky.
Marcus: I think you are sweet and beautiful.
Percy: Wait…
Marcus: You deserve to be cared for as much as you care for others.
Percy: No. Stop.
Marcus: Your feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard.
Percy: I need a safeword!
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Twilight: … the important thing is that you learned something.
Wild walking away with half of his hair burnt and clothing covered in ash: No, I didn’t.
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Warlock: Sorry if it seems like I’m not paying attention I’m internalising demonic screams.
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Just some underloved and overlooked deep sea creatures 💙
🌊 First up is this deranged muppet - The Deep Sea Telescopefish
🌊 Hatchetfish - they’re actually really fun at parties
🌊 The Sarcastic Fringehead - cool outfit, horrible personality
🌊Siphonophores - asexual, mostly keep to themselves
🌊 Barreleye fish - lights on but no one’s home
🌊 Vampire Squid - I’m weak for those blue eyes
🌊 The Frilled Shark - excellent hugger
🌊 Giant Isopod - always plotting
🌊 The Umbrella Gulper Eel - bet he’d beat Joey Chestnut in a hot dog eating challenge any day
🌊 The Goblin Shark - sensitive about the size of his nose
🌊 Deep Sea Anglerfish - this is a female, the males are tiny little guys that latch onto the females by biting them, they then meld with the female and basically become a spare set of gonads so the female can reproduce as she pleases. Love that for her
🌊 The ultra black Pacific blackdragon- soul eater
🌊 We’ll end it with the Sea Angel who was captured on film living under the ice of the White Sea in Russia
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Y/n: The stars are so beautiful
Natasha: They're just giant balls of gas.
Y/n: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-
Natasha: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.
Y/n: Oh
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Douma: She died of natural causes.
Akaza: You pushed her off a roof.
Douma: Gravity is natural.
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Wanda: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Y/N: It’s not a joke.
Y/N: *sniffles*
Y/N: I’m a legit snack.
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Feyre: Rhysand and I are no longer dating.
Rhys: Feyre, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
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Jaune: I can't remember the last time you were mad at me
Weiss: I remember it like it was yesterday
Jaune: Was it yesterday?
Weiss: Yes
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