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buckyalpine · 1 year

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Hello! I have a request please! Loving the idea of bucky and reader having a relationship/hookup but not staying together. Then reader gets a new bf, but bucky catches her still wearing his own shirt to bed or something, and teases her about wishing they were still together etc. you decide how it ends 😈 have been listening to “smells like me” by Charlie Puth lately and can’t stop thinking about this scenario!!

18+

I love this and ofc this is going to have a happy fluffy ending but some angst and steaminess throughout because I am a sucker for this type of scenario.

Some angst, jealousy, possessive horny Bucky, all the smut, Bucky's filthy mouth, needy sex, some cheating but i promise it adds to the spice okay? (plus the guy is a loser)

It was a mutual decision to break up. At least that’s what you both told yourselves. It started off as a mutual transaction; just hooking up and staying friends with benefits so nothing would get complicated. You and Bucky fucked like rabbits in every position and every surface imaginable. Things were great, until they weren’t.

You caught feelings. He kept his hidden.

Bucky didn’t think he could do a relationship. You wanted more.

He initiated the break up and while it hurt you, you both agreed it was for the best since you wanted different things.

That was months ago.

Moving on wasn’t easy but you weren’t going to waste your life away crying over someone who didn’t want you. You started dating again and eventually you found something relatively stable. Things were fine. Good. Bucky had avoided you completely after the break up but took a sudden interest in you again after he found out you were seeing someone.

“So, you’re actually into this guy?” He raised an eyebrow, hanging around the kitchen, unable to contain his curiosity after he saw you arrive home from your date. He felt a drop of something deep in his chest, seeing you in a dress he had never seen before. His knuckles were nearly white, clenching his hands to his sides to keep himself in check but his jaw clenched hearing the click of your heels against the tile floor.

All dressed up for some other man.

“Mhm” You shrugged, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, avoiding eye contact with the super solider. You were over him. You were so over him. You had a boyfriend and you were over Bucky. You had to be. “Why else would I go out with him”

“He doesn’t seem like your type” Bucky sassed, hoping to mask the bubbling jealousy that continued to rise in his chest.

“Oh, and you know what my type is?” You spat back, turning on your heel to glare at him. “You’re an expert on who I should date?”

“I’m just saying” He took a few steps towards you, “I thought you had better standards” He knew what he was doing, biting his lip, watching your chest heave, the eyes that used to roll back from pleasure now throwing daggers at him.

“Well I like him. Who I date isn’t any of your concern anyway James” Your nails dug into your palms, deciding against entertaining his shit any longer, holding your tongue back. Bucky felt something pang in his stomach watching the way your hips swayed as you stormed off to your room without looking back.

****

Bucky couldn’t stand it.

He figured you’d drop this guy eventually but it only got worse.

You brought your boyfriend around the compound more.

He’d occasionally stay for movie night.

Bucky would have to watch you cuddle up with him, the both of you going back to your room after for God knows what. He’d see the guy sitting in the living room, waiting for you to get ready for your dates. For fucks sake, he was even there at breakfast after he spent the night over.

Every time your boyfriend did something, Bucky would mentally correct him. He could see your body tense whenever he put his arm around you; you liked being held securely and this guys arm dangled lightly behind your waist. He never gave you his full attention when you spoke, never remembered the little details about you. Bucky was sure he had caught him flirting with some of the other agents, holding himself back from punching him in the jaw.

Fuck, he didn’t even kiss you properly. It was too hesitant, too gentle, Bucky knew how you loved to be kissed, how to make you weak in the knees. He would have ran his fingers through your hair, tugging it back, tilting your face up, to look at him. He would have cupped your cheeks, one hand cradling the back of your head while the other gently wrapped around your neck, his teeth gently nipping your lips. He wouldn’t have given a fuck about people being around, if you were his girl he would have-

No. Never mind.

Your new boyfriend clearly didn’t know what he was doing anywhere. On more than one occasion, Tony had a shit eating grin on his face because Bucky had you screaming over the sound proof walls.

Why the fuck were you with him when should have been with..

Someone else.

Though there was one other thing Bucky had noticed. One thing he made note of multiple times, his ego growing more every time it happened.

You wandered down to the kitchen before bed to get a glass of water, stopping when your eyes landed on the brunette super solider, his sweats low on his hips, his upper body on full display after he left his hoodie in the gym. You decided to ignore him, grabbing a cup and filling it, your breath hitching hearing his low voice.

“I thought that shirt looked familiar” He took a few steps towards you, noting the way you kept your eyes trained on your glass. “You look comfy”

“I-

“You what” Bucky smirked, his eyes raking up and down your bare legs, cocking his head while you backed yourself against the counter. “What is it sweets”

“Nothing” you swallowed thickly, mentally scolding yourself for getting caught wearing his Henley to bed. You had no excuse, you had plenty of your own over sized t-shirts you could have worn but....

“Does your boyfriend know where you got that shirt, why you sleep with it almost every night” You couldn't bring yourself to speak, shaking your head, heart racing. “You know I noticed you wear it all the time, even when your snuggled up with him. You just can’t stop yourself can you, he’s not the same”

He’s not you.

“You still think about me, hm?” Bucky couldn't help himself, a part of him knowing he had no right to look at you like that, you had a boyfriend but his body was moving on its own, pressing you against the counter, his lips dropping to your ear. “Does he fuck like I can?”

“Bucky stop” You tried to ignore the shiver that ran through your body, his hips pressing against you, his erection digging into your hip. You bit your lip, trying to keep your hands from palming his chest, avoiding his eyes.

“Tell me, does he touch you like I do?” He kept his hands to his sides but he couldn't help but rock his hips against you, his cock achingly hard, desperate for some relief. He let out a strained groan, precum starting to dampen his brief's.

“Bucky-” You tried to push him away from you but he pressed himself against you harder, your back digging against the counter. “Stop” Your voice was a whimper, you knew you could have pushed him off if you wanted to...you should have...

“Does he make love to you like me, reach that spot that makes you scream?” His nose dragged along the column of your neck, his tongue gliding across your skin, filthy mouth unrelenting.

“Does his cock fill you like mine does”

No.

“Does he nurse on your clit like I do, suck and kiss that sweet, pretty little nub of yours until his face is soaked with your cum? Does he lick and drink your sweetness like I do baby, does he get hard just off the way you taste?”

No.

“Does he make himself cum on your bed from just rubbing himself on it when he’s between those thighs? Does he worship your body like I do princess, tell me, does he stroke his cock every night, moaning for you?”

No.

“Does he paint your body with cum, does it clean it off nice? Lick off every drop of the mess he makes like I do? You miss that, don’t you baby, you miss my hot cum on your body, you miss my warm tongue cleaning you up right afterwards? You miss it filling your pussy up and dripping onto the sheets, you miss the way I fuck it right back into you and have you suck if off my cock”

You didn’t even realize you had parted your legs, letting his thigh press against your needy cunt, your hips rocking and grinding on him as he continued to lure you to him, he couldn't hold back any longer.

“Look at you rubbing yourself on me princess, he doesn’t satisfy you does he?” You let out a broken moan, grinding on his thigh harder while gripping onto the counter, it was wrong, you knew it was wrong but it all felt so right.

“I know he doesn’t, I know you still touch yourself thinking about me, these sweet little fingers-” He grabbed your hand, nipping your finger tips with his teeth, “-aren’t enough are they baby, his cock isn’t enough, you need mine, huh doll?”

You tried to shake your head but you nodded instead, there was no point in lying now. Bucky growled, grabbing your hips, helping you rock yourself on him more.

“Tell me you need my cock”

“I-I need-fuck-”

“Say it baby, tell me you need me to fill your pussy up”

“B-Bucky” Your thighs squeezed together around his, your body nearly trembling feeling his lips suck onto your neck.

“That’s not what you call me, c’mon, say it”

“Daddy”

“That’s it” He cooed, sliding his hands down your panties, finding your soaked cunt dripping for him, your body easily betraying you. “So wet for daddy already” He shoved his fingers up your needy cunt, crooking them to rub against your sweet spot making you bite down onto his bare shoulder to keep your screams down.

“Tell daddy you want his fat cock baby”

“Wan’ it daddy” You nearly wailed at the stretch of his fingers alone, nothing compared to the feel of the cool metal scissoring and pumping in you, moving faster. Bucky could tell by the way you bit down harder, your nails digging into his skin, you were close. He pulled his fingers out, shoving them in his mouth instead, greedily sucking off your arousal.

“MMmgh, God you’re so sweet- Fuck this” Bucky grabbed you, tossing you over his shoulder, taking you straight to his room and throwing you onto his bed. He got rid of his sweats and brief's within seconds, stripping you naked immediately after. He crawled on top of your body, parting your legs, his warm breath fanning your face. You whined at the feel of his length rutting against your core, a part of your brain screaming at you to stop.

“Bucky, we can’t” You couldn't help but spread your legs further, bringing your thighs up.

“Can’t what” His hand snaked down to line his cock up, rubbing the head onto your clit.

“I-you know I can’t” You shook your head, panting as he pressed against it further, making you moan.

“You don’t want it?” He nudged his tip against your clenching pussy, prodding against your entrance leaving you reeling. “Tell me”

“Bucky, please, I-”

“Please what princess”

“We can’t, we can’t we can’t we-oh god, fuck, FUCKK” You threw your head back as he pushed his cock into your soaked pussy, not wasting any time, his hips snapping, pounding you into the mattress. Your legs wrapped around his waist, crying and chanting his name as his cock hit all the right spots, stretching you the way you craved.

Bucky moaned into your neck, your pussy gripping onto him, puling him back in with each thrust, fluttering and clenching around him.

“M’never letting you go again” Bucky grabbed your writs, pinning them against the bed above your head, pulling his knees up to fuck you deeper. “I need you”

“Fuckkkk James” Tears streaked your face, the silky tip of his cock rubbing and stroking your sweet spot repeatedly, his balls slapping against your ass.

“O-only I can make you moan like this” He picked his pace up, fucking you harder, sitting back on his heels and holding your legs apart. “Don’t think i didn’t hear you sweets, touching yourself thinking about me even when you were with him”

He spat onto your clit, his thumb rubbing soft circles making your back arch in pleasure.

“I touched myself to you too baby, thought about you every damn day with my cock in my fist. I missed you so bad, I wanted to fuck and make love to you, wanted every piece of you”

“Please-James”

Bucky got lost in the feeling of you, desperate to be as close as possible. He dropped your legs, falling on top of you and wrapping his arms around your body. He rolled you over so you were on top, holding you close while he thrusted up into you.

“I’ll never let you go again y/n, you’re mine, you’re all fucking mine baby”

“Don’t let me go James” You moaned into his neck, clinging onto his body while his cock throbbed, his pace growing sloppy.

“No, look at me” His eyes were glassy, one hand cupping your face to make you look at him. “I love you, I fucking love you, please princess” He fucked you harder, his moans mixed with yours filling the room, your lips brushing against his. “Fuck- I love you”

“I love you” You cried out, your pussy fluttering, the band in your belly about to snap.

“Cum for me baby, c’mon, cum on my dick, make a mess on me, soak my cock and balls with your cum angel, give it to me”

“JAMES FUCK” Your orgasm ripped through your body, falling limp on him while he pounded up into you, your moans and screams bouncing off the walls. Bucky held you tighter, his cock twitching unable to hold back any more, his balls pulled tight to his body.

“M’gonna cum” He moaned, desperately holding onto you while you kissed him, swallowing his moans. “Oh fuck, m’gonna cum y/n”

“Cum James, fill me up bubba” You cooed softly in his ear, kissing his temple while he let out a throatily groan, his body tensing, cock swelling.

“FUCKK M’cumming so. fucking. hard for you baby, it’s all for you God-fuck-it’s all for you” His body stilled, his warm seed filling you till it dripped out. “Wanna be the only one to cum in you like this, you’re mine” He continued to rut into you, whining at the overstimulation, his cock still dribbling with cum “Can’t even stop cumming for you baby, fuck it won’t stop” He continued to moan and lightly thrust into you until he emptied his cock, the sheets damp from his load.

You both laid in silence, giving each other soft kisses, his arms still secure around you, holding you close to his chest. You couldn't ignore the way your heart fluttered, you shouldn’t have been there, none of this should have happened and yet...

“Stay”

You looked up at him while he brought you closer, kissing your forehead.

“Please stay”

“Bucky, you didn’t want me until-

“I was a fucking idiot, I love you, baby please stay” His eyes were pleading with you, clinging onto you tighter. You knew you should have gone back to your room but for some reason this felt right. You melted into his embrace, letting him cuddle you. “You’re mine”

“Bucky, my boy-

“I want to be your boyfriend. Please. I’m sorry sweets, I shouldn’t have pushed you away, I-I want you to be mine”

You thought for a moment, the way you couldn't pull yourself away from him, falling right into his embrace, not feeling anything for anyone else, all your feelings just for him.

“I’m yours” You mumbled against his skin, falling asleep in his bed, your heart finally back where it belonged.

(and ofc you break up with your loser boyfriend after, cause he was useless anyway)

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joekeerysguitar · 1 year

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a million little things

authors note: hi guys!! here’s a short little story for all you family video steve lovers like me! i’m currently working on a longer ff which will be out soon! for now, enjoy!! -nina :)

overview: over the past few months, steve has grown to have a crush on you and cannot help but to observe and admire every little detail about you. he’s gotten to the point where he mentally knows a million little things about you…and cannot wait to learn more.

Steve Harrington fanfic, fem reader, steve x reader, fluff, simp behavior, best friend to lovers, angst

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Steve cannot help but to admire you.

He can read you like a book, cover to cover.

Just the past few months he knows how to read your face and expressions. He jot to memory the certain features that move to every single reaction. He admires how your personality and attentiveness changes for every customer.

At this point, he probably knows more about you then you know about yourself.

Steve has had a crush on you since you started working at Family Video about three months ago. The minute Keith told Robin and him that there would be another employee starting on Monday he wasn’t too thrilled. But the minute you walked in that Monday with your blonde hair glowing from the rising sun and your blue eyes glimmering like gentle waves in the ocean he wasn’t so mad anymore.

Heck, he was in love.

Quickly, Robin, Steve, and you grew close and now you three were inseparable.

And Steve loves it. He loves spending every single day with his two best friends…

Well his best friend and his best friend with benefits.

Now you stand 20 feet away from him placing movie tapes on the empty shelves. He watches as you scan your eyes over the title and back at the shelf finding the correct letter for the alphabet. He notices your tongue poke out a bit in concentration as your eyes continued to scan the shelf. Once you find the correct spot, your eyes light up and you smile cheerfully while placing the film in its correct spot. Watching you being proud of yourself awakes butterflies in Steve making his heart flutter.

As he watches you he slowly dazes out filling his mind with memories of you and completely forgetting the task he was trying to complete.

All he could think of was you…

He remembers the first time he met you. You had the biggest smile on your face. One of those cheeky genuine grins that just warms the heart. And boy, it sure did warm him up. He adores your smile, even the small ones. He finds every single one very beautiful. He especially loves the smiles that reveal your dimples. It’s just too cute, you’re too cute!

He also remembers the first time he made you laugh. A real true stomach aching, tear forming laugh.

It was a very quiet day at Family Video, barely any customers and full of boredom. The three of you decided to build a tower with the movie tapes on the counter. Each one of you took turns placing a random movie on the top of the stack. Steve remembers the same concentration face like before as you placed the movie on the top and smiled after the tower did not wiggle. As the tower grew taller and less stable, it was more difficult to place the movies. As you reached up to place a movie you accidentally bumped the tower and it collapsed on Steve smacking him in the face. You and Robin tumbled over in laughter as Steve cursed and rubbed his nose being all mad and upset. As Steve watched you two practically cry over him being smacked by movies he couldn’t help but to laugh and smile at your laugh. Your laugh was just so genuine and cute. Full of heart warming giggles and occasional sharp breathes for air. You threw your head back and scrunched your nose.

Steve thought it was the prettiest sound he has ever heard.

“Sor.. S..Sorry” You said laughing in between every word holding your stomach.

Steve wasn’t so mad anymore.

Steve could definitely tell when you were having a bad day too. Your demeanor was very quiet and kept to yourself. You didn’t laugh or talk much, just did what you had to do. Because of this, everyone felt glum. There was no energy in the store. Everyone felt affected from this.

Especially Steve..

Steve hates when you feel like this.

He’s a sole believer that doing good things for someone in bad times always helps. So by that he will try everything and anything in his power to make you happy.

One time, he bought you your favorite drink and snack. Another time, he let you pick your favorite movie to play on the TV in the store.

He constantly tries to crack jokes and try to earn even a small smile or laugh. He sees it as a reward. Warms his heart up and makes him feel happy.

Steves especially good at reading facial expressions and eyes. He recalls the time he saved you from this man trying to ask you out while you checked him out at the register.

Stocking the shelves he listened to the conversation as you the rental card from the man.

“You’re pretty cute, wanna go out sometime?” The guy asked not breaking eye contact with you.

You stammered trying to ignore the question. Your eyes showed an uncomfortable look and you fiddled with your fingers wanting to disappear.

“Hello? Lady? I asked you a question.” He said getting more angry.

“Your return date is next Saturday.” You reply trying to stay polite but your voice is shaky and uncomfortable.

Steve had enough, building up the courage he walked over to him and says “What the hell man? That’s my girlfriend, back off.”

You looked up at Steve growing a smile feeling relieved inside.

He saved you.

And you loved him even more now.

The man walked out of the store as Steve turned to look at you with those dazzling eyes.

You just smiled back with the most genuine smile that he has ever seen.

Walking over to him you just envelope him in a hug. “Thank you!” You mutter into his chest wrapping your arms around him like a koala on a tree.

He was never ever happier then. You had the best hugs of all time. He just hugged you back and whispered “You’re welcome Y/N!” His heart fluttered like it contained a thousand butterflies.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Steve.. STEVE.” Robin said tapping him on the arm repeatedly.

Snapping out of his trance he goes “Shit.. Sorry.” He runs his hands down his face in embarrassment.

Robin already knows about his feelings for you. He only talks about it everytime the two of them hang out. He constantly asks Robin for advice or just vents to her.

“Just say something to her.” Robin says taking the movie from his hand and placing it in her cart.

Say what?

Steve was afraid to make a fool of himself.

“Like what?” Steve whispered trying to keep you from hearing as he watched you say focused on the movie in your hand as your face was concentrated and relaxed.

“Ask her out on a date. It’s simple.” Robin says rolling her eyes. “Go get em tiger.” She says pushing him over to you.

Cursing under his breath at Robin, he walks over to you diverting your attention. You look up at him with your bright blue eyes. His stomach twists in knots.

“Hi!” You say greeting him. “Do you need anything?”

You were a little too cute. Steve stammered on his words. “I was.. I was wondering.. if.. you.. you wanna go out.. on a date with me?”

Steve never thought those 12 words would come out of his mouth, especially to the girl of his dreams.

Your heart beats faster, you wanted to hear those words since the day you met him. Trying to keep your excitement from bubbling over you reply “Yes I would love that, Harrington.” You couldn’t contain your smile and neither could he.

Your eyes glimmered with a excited and surprised look. Your smile was brighter than the entire galaxy. You were the happiest girl in the entire world! Steve has never seen you this happy ever.

Did Steve just ask out his best friend? His crush? His soulmate? His forever?

Yes. Yes he did.

And did you say yes?

Yes you did.

Mentally, Steve checks off another box.

Number One Million and One: Y/N likes me back.

#joe keery #stranger things #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #family video #best friends to lovers #fluff #steve stranger things #joe keery stranger things

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yunho-1999 · 2 months

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Chapter fourteen - Also Human.

A week went by. A very weird and confusing week. A week where you barely spoke to anyone, because no one wanted to say anything. It was like you guys didn’t know what to say. Like walking on eggshells constantly.

Everyone was scared, scared of losing one another by some hurtful words. Everyone was like a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

And it was killing you.

This isn’t what you imagined would happen when Beomgyu came back. You wanted everything to be like before, was that too much to ask? For you guys to be all happy around each other.

But that wasn’t the case, you thought you could even count with one hand how many times you saw either of them smile or even laugh that week. Not even when you guys watched your favorite movie.

Things didn’t get better, they didn’t get worse. It just seemed like time was passing by. That’s it. You had no feelings. Like emptiness engulfed you completely, everything you felt kept away in some sort of feeling box that could explode at any given moment. A box that was more fragile than you thought.

A few text messages popped up on your screen. Taehyun.

He had been trying to contact you for the past two days. Wanting to know if everything was okay. Because after the kiss, you guys didn’t see each other anymore. You assumed it was because of his parents, and you didn’t want to bother. Family stuff was always complicated.

You wanted to answer, but at the same time it felt weird. Like, how were you supposed to act now? Like nothing happened? Maybe he wanted to confess to you, but you weren’t ready for that. You knew that you weren’t mentally stable in any way for a relationship, and it would end up just hurting everyone even more.

Beomgyu had been anxious lately, very, very anxious. His eyes looked neurotic, always wandering around the house nervously. His leg wouldn’t stop moving, he wouldn’t stop moving. Always looking for something to do.

You knew the reason, and it made your chest ache in pain. He had been good, keeping his promise, not using drugs. But it wasn’t easy, oh no, it was so difficult. So difficult seeing your friend practically crumble and cry every few hours because he felt awful.

He was paranoid, he needed the dopamine. He wanted it more than ever. To evade all of this. To evade the situation he created. His mind was his worst enemy. He felt everything was his fault, that he was the problem of all the things that happened in his life. That His dad was right. He was nothing more than a useless crackhead.

Yeonjun wasn’t doing much better either. He spent most of the day sleeping, and when he didn’t, he would just be silent, staring at a wall, picking onto that very deep wound he created on his finger. It looked infected, it hurt. But he couldn’t bother to ask for your help. He felt like a burden.

And you couldn’t bother to go help, not because you didn’t want to, but because you simply hadn’t noticed.

Your steps were slow, as you looked at the door. Thinking about going inside. Not really wanting to. What some day felt like your home, didn’t feel like it anymore. Everything was crumbling down.

You hesitated, anxious feet tapping onto the ground. Until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Scared, you turned around, just to see Soobin there.

“Hey… Are you okay? You don’t look so well…” He was right, your eyes looked dead inside, that usual glint of light gone. The circles under your eyes betrayed you, letting everyone know how badly you slept these days. And your lips, your usual soft lips, were cracked, a bunch of small red wounds decorating them.

“Huh? Oh… Me? Well, yeah… It’s fine, I mean, I’m fine” You try to smile and wave him off. You had also lost your patience with other people trying to chime in into your life.

Specially Heeseung, he could fuck off.

“You sure…? I don’t mean to sound rude, but, you look awful” His eyes were filled with worry, and you felt bad. He was always so nice, why was he always so nice? Why did he try to help you? You never did anything for him. So why was he always there?

“Oh…” You didn’t know what to say, because he was right. You weren’t okay, and you looked even worse.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just really worried… For you.” He held one of your hands, his felt soft, like a cloud came down and held onto you. Like a beam of hope.

But you couldn’t accept it. It would feel like taking advantage of him. It would make you feel even more terrible. This was your problem, so you had to solve it. No one else.

“It’s okay Soobin. I can deal with it” You quickly grabbed the keys and decided to go for the door, but he stopped you.

“You know you can tell me, right? I will be there for you. I’ve told you many times. I want to help you. Really.” He kept holding your hand, looking into your eyes.

You couldn’t help but choke up a little, the feeling of wanting to cry growing bigger.

“Why? It doesn’t make sense. Why would you want to help me?” You look away, this question has always been on your mind.

You just took his help and didn't think much about it, because it always felt good to have someone to rely on, no matter what. But within this week, a lot of things changed. You changed.

“Well… If I’m being honest, I kind of pity you…” There it was, the word you hated the most. Pity. “But not in a bad way” He waved his hands nervously as if he had just read your mind. “I just hate seeing you feeling sad, I don’t know exactly why, but I just feel like I should help you… It’s weird, I’ve always associated it with pity, but I know it’s not that. Or maybe it is. But whatever it is. It makes me feel anxious for you, I keep wondering how you are, and if you’re feeling okay. That’s why when I see you like this, I can’t help but wonder how to help. Because you also need someone to help you Y/n… You can’t always be the one helping people. You’re also human.”

You couldn’t help but to start crying, crying your eyes out. Finally letting your feelings take over you. Those feelings that were trapped, suffocating you.

You were also human.

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#female reader #txt imagines #txt reader #txt #txt soobin #yeonjun x reader #txt beomgyu #hueningkai #txt taehyun #drugs tw #tw anger #angst #txt angst #loser lover #txt post #txt yeonjun #soobin #beomgyu

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roe-sesandthorns · 2 years

Text

super salty thoughts about Dr. Strange MoM, spoilers + rant under the cut warnings: spoilers, duh. really long. not very complimentary.

did wanda face no consequences for what happened in westview? legitimate question cause i haven’t seen it and only know the plot + story through osmosis. I thought this was the point of the accords and the oversight and the damn civil war.

it physically makes me puke to hear mcu refer to themselves as earth-616 like no. sweeetie, sit back down, ok? you’re earth-1999999

they went to one other universe, it was a huge waste of potential BUT I can excuse that cause I understand the limitations from a storytelling/runtime/budget pov but still, disappointing

ok I loved peggy as the first avenger, monica rambeau as captain marvel, and it’s always a pleasure to see patrick stewart and the inclusion of black bolt was cool (idk if he’s been in other marvel media before but that was my first time seeing him)

but and that’s a big but, the scene where wanda takes on the illuminati and bodies reed + black bolt and then proceeds to fight peggy + monica felt... off.

like did they remove the two male members deliberately cause? is it sexist? is it a very shallow, trite attempt at #girlbossing? whatever it was, it felt cheap and weird. and completely disrespectful to all those heroes. especially professor x.

ok, i get it, wanda is supposed to be the Big Bad but the way the superheroes in the mcu become totally powerless in other people’s movies just rubs me weird. like she took barely 30 secs to demolish the entire team. and these are the supposed leaders of the illuminati

why the fuck did wanda of earth-834 or whatever have powers? did she have the same arc as mcu-wanda (i’m not using 616 to describe mcu people cause hell no). but then everything in this world was completely different so how does it compute that this wanda had powers and a normal life. did she have her kids with vision? where was vision? if he died like in infinity war then why was this wanda mentally stable? like what changed?

why the fuck did stephen from the incursion universe and mcu-stephen have the same damn backstory of both having a sister who died? like how is that something that is constant in multiverses? or was it just a lucky coninkydink?

i have a lot more, but basically i hate their treatment of the multiverse. i think i prefer any other fanfic writer writing about the multiverse cause they do it so much better.

i’m not even surprised they tried to give wanda a redemption through death/sacrifice arc cause she changed her mind in the last 2 minutes of the film; disappointed but not surprised.

like girlie has not even redeemed herself for westview, instead she went full on evil supervillain

fuck off with the “heartwarming” music and there is NO reason for christine to ask after wanda with concern (other than the fact that christine is amazing and a saint and i love her) but contextually she should’ve been like “the scarlet witch?” (scared shitless)

also, basically, moral of the whole story: stephen strange can only be happy if he has christine in his life. which seems toxic af, like bro. y’all broke up YEARS ago. you tell her at her wedding that you wish she was still with you, or imply it at least. I would’ve decked him if I were her. Like Christine you’re a saint. I mean you invite your friend (whom you dated a long while back) to your wedding and want to introduce him to your husband and he’s like “im sowwy i miss you” like fuck the fuck off, stephen strange, you ass. don’t make this day about you.

also can we please kill with fire the idea that you need a relationship to be happy. like, srsly. the whole movie reiterates that if he only “got the girl”, he’d be happy, like no honey. go to therapy. find happiness within you. and in others around you. relationships are amazing and i can totally get pining over Chrsitine cause goddamn i’m doing it too, brother, but really. she’s not gonna fix you or fix your life. i want to engrave kate winslet’s speech from eternal sunshine onto the marvel headquarters entrance cause fuck u marvel.

another beef with the multiverse, no stephen ever dated anyone other than christine? like my dudes, prime opportunity to really explore just how different the universes are, i mean, come on!

additionally, it makes the ending seem like a queer ending with stephen and wong reiterating their love for e/o and continuing their cohabitation as they raise their teenage adoptive daughter together. like maybe marvel is saying queer-platonic relationships and aro-ace rights. (hahahahhahah as IF.)

america chavez was the only ray of hope and the only good thing about this movie and that’s only because her character hasn’t had the time to be handled by 12 different pairs of hands and the mouse overlords’ meddling

also can i just say, 0 character growth all around, great job, guys!

also also, did i miss an entire movie where mordo goes after stephen? no, so that was just supposed to be one of those things that happened in the interim that we just know because of dialogue. great. so, no emotional arc for stephen having to fight mordo, for the clash of their philosophies, for the consequences of stephen’s actions.

wait, speaking of consequences, what the fuck were stephen’s consequences for no way home? did he have any? he almost fucked up the entire world on a teenager’s say so. like. i mean. it ended ok but ?????

some technical things: the score was overpowering, there was no room to breathe between moments, the effects gave me a damn headache, and there were some weird transitions thrown in that just felt.... one-note. one or two were cool from a story telling point of view but otherwise it was just. meh.

tldr; the whole mcu is just like, “consequences? don’t know her” and the mcu multiverse is bland, convenience-based, arbitrary, and boring. also, this wasn’t a dr. strange movie, this was a “look shiny cgi, shiny multiverse, isn’t this fight scene cool? omg that’s professor x, look people from other marvel movies/media! how cool!, we’re self-referential! and COOL!” mess

#mcu wank #dr strange and the multiverse of madness #not very wanda friendly #could be construed as anti wanda #but it's also equally anti stephen as he's written in this movie #so basically it's just anti mcu at this point #i'm tired #mcu exhausts me at this point

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munstysmind · 1 year

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Please send and rant to everyone!!! People, please stop! Can you stop bashing Chris Evans for dating someone young! alba is 25 years old woman, who is able to do what adults do! He ain't no pedo, that's for sure!

Firstly, A theory! have ever you stopped and thought that it may be a look-alike prank stunt done by youtube prankers. Yes, YouTubers! For example: Yes theory posted on youtube about "Justin Bieber" eating the taco the wrong way. another YouTuber name ChristianAdamG posted "Travis Scott" and the fake cheating allegation! if ANYONE FORGOT, that was years ago remember that!

Secondly, people around the world with age gaps may be considered a norm from the past and future generations in the celeb world and normal society! I mean people with age 21 plus are together with older men. Ex: Florence pugh used to date Zach Braff(21 years age gap) George Clooney and his wife (17 years), and other actors/actress who is still alive with age gaps.

Thirdly, for our Chris evans fans, I know half of you are having mixed feelings. I understand he lied to you for about a year! or you feel disappointed/disgusted at him because he is dating someone young. But do you not stop and think that he needs some privacy in his life? Does Chris need to tell honestly to you about his private life.

Sure Chris Evans posted some stuff on Twitter and Instagram random things, like his dog, cute dodger (we love ya dodger). His family, Starting point, other movie projects, or something he likes on other people's tweets. like how we tweeted or posted that we thought he was "secretly dating" Salena Gomez. We thought they were like a cute couple but they haven't met!

Anyway back to the point, Does he need to FULLY tell or show you all ever since his debut as an actor! NO! So let's stop this none sense and Let's not bash Alba baptista as well! So it's a let's stop this none sense.

if we think pr stunt let it be! it's Hollywood, It happens! if its real love and they hide their relationship for a year. So be it.

Randomrantofablogger out!!!

Anon, it comes down to two things…

1. The complete lack of respect they have for Chris outside of being their source of entertainment and sexual desires.

2. That Alba isn’t them. How dare he date someone that’s not them. Many of these haters, not fans, are younger than Alba and would jump at the chance to touch the man, let alone date him. They’re hypocrites.

Would I let him do whatever he wanted to me if he crawled into my bed tonight, fuck yes I would, but I’m mentally stable enough to see him as what he is, a human being entitled to the exact same things in life as everyone else.

#munstysmind #chris evans #alba baptista #toxic fandom #i’ll probably delete this later

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poeticumslut · 1 year

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I wish I could tell my grandpa I was gay.

Sadly I don’t think he would ever see me that way.

It plays like a sad short movie in the back of my head after I had to confess the things I did in the dark. You told me that anyone who loves the same sex is mentally sick in the head. You said if they go both ways they deserve to be sent to conversion camps to change their sinful desires.

I sat quietly, tears streaming down my face thanking the heavens that it was dark and you were driving so you couldn’t see my melancholy expression and flushed cheeks. I just told you the lie that I needed male attention, but there wasn’t any living in a girls home; so I chose to kiss a girl instead. You believed it. Your traditional views that you raised me to believe about how the marvelous God You worship would never love someone who is a homo. How could God fearfully and wonderfully make yet somehow despise his own “child”? All His children who love the same gender are just fuck ups? So many questions that I shoved down. So many things that didn’t make sense. But how could I be my true self when I wasn’t even raised in an environment where it was acceptable to to share these lustful desires? I had to believe the lies I told you in order to feel sane. All the attention that I sought out from boys who ended up creating more sexual trauma that I didn’t need. I thought the only way they would like me is if I gave them what they wanted. But with a woman there isn’t any expectations just safety and comfort. Soft, sweet, familiar, and tender are only the few of many adjectives to describe what being with the same sex feels like. Something your ignorant mind could never grasp.

Grandpa you always listened to what I had to say and have been the only stable father figure in my life. You used to listen to all of my boy problems and give me the best advice you knew. You were my best friend. Now it’s almost 5 years later and I am an adult now. I also identify as bisexual and without my beautiful soul of a partner I wouldn’t have even come to this revelation about my sexuality until it was too late. I’ve been with about 11 girls I believe, and they were some of the most ethereal and awakening experiences of my time on this planet. The best part is I am still so young that I haven’t even met half of the women I will sleep with yet. That brings joy and a smile to my face but it would only bring you disappointment.

I want to tell you about the butterflies I get when I look into her eyes. I want to tell you about all her interests and how beautiful she is with her blue and purple hair that compliment her sky blue eyes. I want to tell you about how I get mad when she doesn’t text me back. I want to ask you how to play hard to get and cheer me on when I ask her out on a date. Why does it have to be different? It’s the same love just different parts. Prettier parts in my opinion. If you’re the traditional man’s man that you say you are, can’t you agree with me that all women are such magical, gorgeous, sexy creatures? In your mind it will always be a sin for me to think this way and I will burn in hell for my transgressions. It makes me want to sob thinking about how you will never truly understand or accept me for all of who I am now. That’s why I I’m writing this instead because I will never tell you.

It’s okay though, I know what a beautiful person I am inside and out regardless of my sexual preferences. You will never see that side of me. Your loss. In the next life maybe it will be different but until then you will only see what I allow you to. Fucked up that I have to water down myself for your approval but I’d rather have you believe that lie than cut me out of your life completely.

Cheers to pussy and this piece of writing that you will never read.

#wlw #writing #coming out #internalized shame #poetic

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azurelyy · 1 year

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how did you get together with all your ships!!

Ahhhh, this is a fun question!

I do this thing called “maladaptive daydreaming” which basically means I almost constantly have a movie playing in my head. I’m completely mentally stable, as you can tell lol. Anyways! I say that because I have many, many, many different scenarios with all my ships that I alter and change constantly. However, I do have some favorites that I replay in my mind a lot and so those are the ones I’ll stick to for this question! If you’re curious about the other scenarios, I’d be happy to explain those in less detail.

Also, my self-insert “OC”’s name for my anime ships is always Yumi and so that’s how I’ll write these. Just know Yumi = me.

Shikamaru:

A classic enemies to lovers tale. Well, it was more like a classic “I was in a bad mood and was mean to you once and then you were stand-offish to me for months” tale, but that doesn’t roll of the tongue in the same way.

Basically, Yumi and Shikamaru met at one of Ino’s parties. Yumi was pretty drunk, and Shikamaru had literally just broken up with Temari. No, like. LITERALLY. That night. So, he was outside smoking as he does and Yumi marched right over to him and started smoking a joint next to him. He moved over and she followed, so he got really annoyed and asked if she could be a nuisance somewhere else. She tried laughing it off and offered him some weed, claiming that he “seemed like he needed it” which just pissed him off more.

“Why are you women all so annoying?” He sighed.

Well, she didn’t really appreciate that. Since she was drunk, Yumi spouted on about how all MEN are the same, and just because he’s having a bad night doesn’t mean he can take it out on her. She then grabbed his cigarette from his mouth, tossed it to the ground, and smashed the light out as she walked away, making sure her hair whipped him in the face in the process. He was obsessed with her ever since lol.

Gojo:

I looooove a workplace romance, so Gojo and Yumi met at the academy. Yumi transferred there and Gojo was immediately smitten with her. As we all know, Gojo is a menace. He spent months and months just flirting with Yumi every chance he could, making it very obvious to her that he was attracted to her. Yumi tried to keep it professional, even sometimes going so far as to take the long way to classes just to avoid Gojo. Yumi really liked Gojo too, but she couldn’t risk her job.

Eventually, Gojo got fed up with Yumi avoiding him and asked her to the company winter party. Your imagination can take over with what happened from there! ;)

Kakashi:

He met Yumi at a bookshop while he was visiting Suna. Always the rebellion, Kakashi had dressed up in his common clothes and snuck out without Shikamaru noticing - or maybe he did and just didn’t care? - who knows! The point is, Kakashi wasn’t meant to be there, and he really was trying to keep a low profile, but he couldn’t resist Yumi.

She had several books in her hands and was having trouble carrying them. Kakashi watched her for awhile, amused and impressed with how long she had been able to keep all her books in her arms, but he eventually caved.

“Let me help.” He insisted with a smile from beneath his mask, taking a couple of books from the top of her pile.

“Oh,” Yumi whispered, fatigued. “I’m sorry. By the time I realized I needed a basket, it was-“

Kakashi winked as her face went even paler from the realization. “Something wrong?” He asked.

“Y-You-“

Kakashi held a finger to his masked lips. “I’m just a friendly face helping a fellow reader. What’s your name?”

Yumi blushed, averting her eyes to the books tucked beneath Kakashi’s arm. “Yumi. It’s an honor to meet you.”

Kakashi smirked. “The honor is all mine.”

#ask away #azurelyy scribbles #lol is this embarrassing to admit to the internet?#oh well #Kakashi x az #Shikamaru x az #Gojo x az #self shipping

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lex-munro · 2 years

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[Glitter on the Wet Streets: Part 1] Shiver Stop Shivering

In another corner of the multiverse, the spell-triggered incursion happened a different way Eddie went to New York, saved Aunt May, got dumped for some Bambi-eyed kid, and ended up playing the roles of chaperone and mascot for said kid and his two misfit pals. A year later, the timeline is trying to get itself back to something resembling its cousins.

This is Chapter 1 of probably about 12 (I couldn’t tell you, because I am trash who can’t stick to a plan) of a Venom/MCU fic about the kids having adopted Human Trashfire Eddie Brock. Massive canon divergence, lol. Let’s have a rich MJ, the Hawkeye series set a year later instead of in the same year as NWH, some implied Loki shenanigans that lead to the trio taking a gap year working at a small-time newspaper.

I originally pictured Oscar Isaac as Rafael, but he nailed Moon Knight so well that I can’t picture him as anyone else in the MCU. So let’s go with Pedro Pascal, if you need a mental image.

Warnings: Canon divergent based on the MCU. Discussion of abusive relationships (both romantic and platonic) and recovery from abuse. Giant cats. Modern YouTube references. The Scheming Writers Club™ is inspired by my coworkers. Ensemble background OCs. Language: PG-13 (primetime tv plus s***, f***, and g**damn).

Pairing: None for this chapter, just background Peter/MJ and background Happy/May with past Eddie/Venom.

Timeline: A year after the events of No Way Home, but concurrent with the events of Hawkeye (told you it was canon divergent).

Disclaimer: I doesn’t owns the movies or the characters. Or the assorted objects of pop culture reference.

Shiver Stop Shivering

“I’m just saying,” Madison drawls as she waves the onion from her cocktail through the air. “It’s almost a year since your ex left, and six full months since you met Rafael, and he is so into you—”

“Oh my God,” Eddie groans.

“Super into you,” confirms Julio. “It’s sickeningly sweet. Even my má knows the saga of you two not really dating, and she’s never met either of you. She says it’s better than a telenovela.”

“That’s how much we all yap about you lovebirds,” Tanya agrees.

Eddie presses his palms together in a pleading pose and begs, “Guys, please, no matchmaking.”

“At the very least, bone the guy. The sexual tension is really starting to get unnerving. You said it was two bad break-ups of long-terms in a row—so maybe try something less committed.”

He feels his good-humored smile slip. “Yeah, nah, I’m…I’m not really wired that way. I need long-term.”

“Okay, so long-term him! Rafa likes all your dumb little quirks, and he’s a fan of your reporting, and he smiles like a fool when you start off on one of your righteous tangents. Take a chance. Use the Christmas break to plan the perfect first date, then completely scrap that, because it’s guaranteed to go adorably awry.”

“Fine. Hard maybe.”

They laugh and jeer. “That’s not a thing!” Tanya tells him, but they (mercifully) drop the subject.

~*~*~

An hour later, he’s walking home, enjoying the weather (light snow, not too cold or too humid) and thinking about Rafael, with his boy-next-door curls and his caramel skin and his twinkling eyes. Rafa is the first person (of any gender) that his writer pals have shoved at him who isn’t at least ten years younger than Eddie, so that’s a plus. He’s nice, and he’s smart, and when he edits Eddie’s shit, he’s gentle but firm. Also, when he grew a beard in November, he was seriously rocking some big DILF energy.

So yeah, it’s tempting. Real tempting.

But all he can think about is them getting somewhere good and stable, somewhere that makes him think it’s gonna last, and then getting dumped on his ass again for not being good enough. Sometimes it’s genuinely because of something he consciously chose to do, like when he put being right (and the associated ego boost) before Anne’s privacy, but a lot of times it’s either a flimsy excuse or something he can’t (or doesn’t know how to) change about himself.

Before Anne, the standard reason had been that he’s too pushy and takes too many risks. Against all odds, Venom fixed that; his writing team considers him shy and skittish.

It took them three tries to get him to come out drinking with them, but only two weekly hangouts to guess that he was recovering from the Worst Breakup Ever. After that, well…he got a little drunk and weepy and told them about ‘V,’ who was big and brash and impulsive and selfish and immature and amazing. He told them about rough starts and violent disagreements and two not-quite-breakups. He told them how doting V could be, and how V accepted more of his failings than anyone else had, and how V knew him inside and out (he didn’t tell them it was literal, though).

He told them how V had always said Eddie was perfect for him, and that they were meant for each other, and that they belonged together.

He told them how V had taken one look at some sweet little college freshman and just fucking left without a word (he didn’t mention how the kid was Spider-Man, because that would’ve raised some really weird questions).

He didn’t have to tell them that it left him in pieces, because they’d met him in the midst of Scotch-taping himself back together.

Clean up your act, get a job, pretend you know what ‘the Blip’ is, pretend you’re not from another universe where you’re a killer vigilante and a wanted criminal, pretend you know someone—anyone at all—besides three nosy kids and the asshole alien who dumped you for one of them.

He’s honestly always liked his chances here better than back home.

He takes a long breath. This version of New York is a little cleaner than the one he remembers, and a little safer thanks to all the metas running around. Maybe it’s not smart to still be in the habit of wandering through high crime areas like he’ll eat anybody who tries to stab him… But Hell’s Kitchen has sort of adopted him, and he did get saved by Daredevil the one time he got too drunk to defend himself (and boy, did Eddie’s bisexuality reassert itself very loudly when two gang members went flying and he was face-to-amazing-ass with the red-clad hero). Point being: maybe once a month, some kid will jump out and demand cash, then start stammering apologies when he sees it’s Eddie. He gets a lot of ‘sorry, man’ and ‘big fan of your stuff’ and ‘thanks for that piece about water quality in June.’

Anyway, it’s half past seven, so it’s not like he’s out late.

He’s passing an alley that’s darker than most, when a rasping voice says, “Eddie.”

His heart skips, and he stops walking. “Whattaya want, Parker? Your girlfriend got another scoop for me? Usually, she brings it herself, because she’s got the decency to—”

“Peter is asleep,” says the voice in the alley. “We wanted to talk to you, Eddie, and Peter thinks that would be inappropriate.”

Eddie barrels into the darkness and spits out, “You’re goddamn fucking right, it’s inappropriate! What the fuck could you ‘n I possibly have to talk about, huh? You left. All that shit about ‘we’ and ‘us’ and ‘perfect symbiosis,’ and you just fucking—”

“We—I am in love with Peter.”

Eddie makes a wounded sound before he can stop himself. “And why the fuck would I wanna know that?” he asks in a tiny, trembling voice. “You used to say you loved me, that we’d be together forever.”

“I do love you. You are my friend, Eddie—my best friend. And Peter doesn’t love us—me.”

So now Eddie feels put on the spot, like he fuckzoned somebody who was never into him.

Screw that noise—Venom was the one to turn their thing romantic, and Venom was the one to turn it sexual, too.

“Fuck. This isn’t fair, V. You can’t just show up after what you did and expect me to give—what, sympathy? Advice? I have a nice life now. I have a shitty little apartment and a half-decent job where the things I write help people, and a big stupid cuddly cat, and friends who helped me get over you, because it fucking destroyed me when you left. And you think you can just come back into my life like you didn’t completely wreck it, just because now we both know that I was in love with you and you weren’t in love with me, so somehow I’m supposed help you now that you’re in the same boat. Fuck you, V. I hope he keeps you for a nice, long time, so you can have all the fun of being right there and watching him not love you back.”

In the darkness, Venom hisses and says (rather sulkily), “You are a shitty friend, Eddie.”

Eddie feels like he just took a punch to the gut. “Well,” he says, and he doesn’t really care about how wet his eyes are or how shaky his voice still is. “You were a shitty, abusive boyfriend who abandoned me, so you don’t really deserve my friendship. Goodbye, V.”

And he just leaves. He’s not going to give Venom the satisfaction of a fight (he’d lose, even if he didn’t care whether he hurt Peter), and he’s sure as shit not going to be some shoulder to cry on.

He pulls out his phone and shoots a text to MJ.

tell ur bf his roommate has been joyriding while he’s asleep

As he approaches his building, he notices a crowd, and a strange light and—

Great. The fucking building is on fire.

“Eddie! Oh, che fortuna!”

The plump little nonna from the floor above waddles over with his stupid giant fluffy black cat. The damn thing is almost as big as she is.

“Mrs. DiPazzi, what happened?”

“Those tracksuit ragazzi showed up and started throwing Molotov cocktails at the loft next door! I thought they learned their lesson when Ronin was here after the Snap, but I guess they’ve forgotten what fear is. I hope one of those nice superheroes comes to teach them some manners. Here—Snowflake came to get me, grazie a Dio. I might not have known anything was wrong until I was trapped, and meeting a fireman is not worth the risk at my age.”

Snowflake complacently drapes his furry bulk around Eddie’s shoulders like a thirty-pound purring scarf with very little encouragement from Mrs. DiPazzi.

“What would I even do with a big strapping fireman—eh, Snowflake? Yes, such a good boy, saving my life like that… Oh, bene, my son is finally here! Take care of yourself, Eddie.”

“You too, Mrs. DiPazzi.” His phone buzzes.

MJ wow rude. did he do that 2 u 2?

He snorts.

prob so my apartment is currently burning down

His phone actually rings.

MJ would like you to join a video call

He snorts and hits the ‘accept’ button.

~“Like, literally on fire or—oh, never mind, it’s on TV.”~ The girl looks vaguely impressed. ~“Bummer. Well, I’ll text you the address.”~

“Address for what?”

~“My place, weeb. My dad’s out of town anyway, and your place is on fire.”~

“You have a dad? I thought somebody used black magic on a QAnon post and it came to life.”

~“That’s fair. But seriously, how many people do you actually know in our universe? And how many of those would loan out their guest room, indefinitely, for free, to a scruffy guy who occasionally talks to somebody who can’t hear him anymore?”~

“Now you’re just bein’ hurtful.”

~“Also, I want to meet Snowflake in person—hiii, sweeetieeee, pwecious foofy dummy!”~

Snowflake yawns at the phone.

~“Awww, wookit all doze widdle fangies!”~

“Gawd, stop. Thank you for offering me ‘n this big dumb furball a place to crash. We’ll head over soon as we can get a ride.”

~“No worries, dude; it’s Christmas. In fact, y’know, I’m gonna send Aunt May’s boyfriend to come pick you up; he’s gotta come get me for family ice skating anyway.”~

~*~*~

Thirty minutes later, he’s waiting at the corner when a nice black car pulls up.

“You Eddie?” the driver asks.

“That’s me. Sorry I smell like a bar and look like I’ve been crying about my ex in an apartment fire—I was at a bar and then I was crying about my ex when I saw my damn building on fire. This is Snowflake; I promise he’s harmless.”

“I’ve had worse passengers. Hop in, and we’ll get you guys to MJ’s place.”

Which is in fucking Central Park East, eighteen floors up.

“Oh my glob, hewwo fwuffy-wuffy!” MJ coos as soon as she opens the door. She squishes Snowflake’s face between her palms, to the cat’s extremely vocal approval. “Whatta big purr, whatta big purr!”

“You done yet?” Eddie asks.

She’s back to her blank, aloof self in half a second. “You look like shit. When I get back from family skate night with the Parkers and the Starks, we’re eating a gallon of ice cream and not talking about your ex. Lock the door, don’t answer for strangers from other dimensions, yadda yadda. Wifi password is ‘MJ is the Queen of all existence and everyone else is her slave 1.’ Capital Q, no spaces. Cat food and litter will be delivered in twenty minutes, no contact; just go down to the lobby and show them this—your new key card.” It has his name and photo on it, and her apartment number.

“You, uh…you work pretty fast, huh?”

“Double-teamed it with Ned. Benefits of having smart friends whose careers you don’t ruin with hacked emails. I recommend posting the apartment fire on your Insta; I’ll setup a GoFundMe tomorrow.”

And she shoves him into the apartment.

Something catches Snowflake’s attention, and he launches off Eddie’s shoulder—and when a thirty-pound monster of a Maine Coon launches unexpectedly, even a guy like Eddie can end up knocked on his ass.

“Ow, you damn traitor!”

Snowflake has discovered the Christmas tree. He’s just sitting at the bottom, staring up at it.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie warns. “Nothin’ll get us kicked out faster than your dumb ass climbing up that tree and wrecking it.”

Snowflake expresses his opinion of the situation with a raucous sneeze, then prances off to lounge in front of the fake fire (because of course the place has a heater shaped like a fucking fireplace).

There’s a note on the coffee table (next to an array of ‘conversation starter’ literature).

Eddie-spaghetti Guest room down the hall to the right, next door to guest bath. Linens and towels are fresh. Leftover vegan lasagna (shut up, I’m trying smthg) in fridge, pop the lid before heating. This remote is for the TV, or you can just talk to Alexa. Back by 10pm, we’ll talk then. MJ

He watches the really depressing news report about the apartment fire. He goes down to get Snowflake’s supplies (there’s even a pack of compostable litter trays, though the sheer size of the cat means it’s wisest to spread them out in a grid). Then he stretches out on the couch and continues his efforts to understand this universe’s YouTube stars. He ends up watching three videos about Victorian clothing, one critiquing the hypothetical efficacy of sexualized costume armor designs, one TikTok compilation about being the awkward oldest friend (it hits very close to home), two vids of humorously misheard lyrics, and has just started his second video of some soothing guy restoring old paintings when MJ gets home (Snowflake surfaces from his explorations to rub up against her knees).

“Julian Baumgartner,” she says approvingly. “High quality ASMR.”

“How was skating?”

“It was okay. Happy and Aunt May were sickeningly adorable. Pepper and Morgan were great, mostly because Morgan is a lot better at skating than the rest of us—literally skated circles around us. Peter was a little weird, even for him; seemed like the roommate was sulking.”

Snowflake seizes his usual spot, loafed on Eddie’s chest and purring (like Venom used to do, in fact).

“Yeah?” Eddie says in a petty tone. “Who cares? Fuck that guy. Selfish asshole…”

She perches on the edge of the coffee table and leans toward him. “Are you okay? Because I kind of thought you were more ‘over him’ than this. Didn’t I hear Julio saying just the other day how you and Rafael were totally on the brink of dating?”

Eddie focuses on petting his giant cat. “I am—we are. Just…when he hijacked Parker earlier, it was to come find me and tell me he’s in love with the kid. And what am I s’posed to do with that, right? ‘Hey, Eddie, I know you’re in love with me, but I’m in love with this other guy who’s younger, smarter, more ethical, and generally just better than you, but he doesn’t feel the same way, so I’m gonna cry to you about it since you’re my best friend.’ Can you believe that shit? Had the fuckin’ nerve to call me his ‘best friend’ after all the shit he’s pulled, all the tantrums, all the times he broke my shit or broke my bones or fixed me up just so he could hurt me again…after he took one look at Parker and just left even though he said we’d be together forever.”

MJ holds out a box of tissues, and Eddie realizes he’s been crying. He takes a handful and blows his nose, and his dumb cat puts a giant fuzzy paw on his face in a boop so epic it should be conveyed in all caps.

“You have kinda crappy taste in boyfriends,” says MJ. “But you have pretty good taste in cats. I’m gonna go get the ice cream and some spoons, and we’re gonna marathon some Nailed It International. The Mexican version is especially wholesome.”

.End.

#fanfic #CANON DIVERGENCE #Venom liked the MCU so I let him stay as a treat #Spidey trio here to Scooby Doo this shit #Eddie is the Jim Gordon to MJ's Batman #fandom: MCU #fic series: glitter (venom MCU)

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theroyalbengal · 5 months

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Am I okay?

The absences in my current life from the past life are glaring. But it’s the path I’ve taken to move on.

I tend to look back less since good memories don’t flood back. Good feelings do. Even though I don’t feel them enough.

Being negative does have its perks. Being self-centered as well. Funnily, they both are a match made in heaven. I’d like to think I was like that or else what have I changed in myself? What’s this project I’m working on? What are these thoughts that I note mentally?

When I look inward what do I see? Missed opportunities, regrets, anger. Yes, I see them every time. I see them every day.

When I look outward what do I see? Doubts, trust issues, hate, war. Yes, I see them every time. I see them every day.

I travel quite a bit because of darts. But that’s it. Can’t remember the last time I took a vacation. I have grown tired of it. The travel and the darts but it’s what I do. You gotta do what you gotta do they say.

There is this small flame inside that refuses to die. It keeps my priorities in check. I’ve thought so hard and for so long if I can get back to basketball again. I think I should. Yes, darts is a large part of my life and injuries and severed friendships were a reason to not go back. But right now, my mental psyche plays a larger part than darts.

Many things have happened that have contributed to me losing trust completely in Indian Darts. And weirdly, I’m just being proven right again and again. By inaction on the part of authorities, on performance and just the current state and the refusal to improve. So, I’ve given up – but I’m fucking self-centered. I’m not going to throw away 25+years of time dedicated to the sport.

I talk only about the time dedicated and not the effort. Not the money. Not the support.

I’m guilty at times of not putting enough effort into practicing. I’m guilty of it right now. The money is part and parcel of the game – if you get into it for the money, I’m sorry – you’d rather get a normal desk job. You’re going to earn a more stable income there. Support, is a funny thing. I’ve learned this the hard way. We’ve seen the first labeled villains in movies. Bad people, snakes, whatever you call them. I can’t believe I’m guilty of such people supporting me only to plot their own way to slither by. But yes, I will not sound fair since I do get a lot of emotional and physical support from many people. Family, the few friends that I have, strangers. It feels great and I am lucky and humbled by it.

It's funny when you say stuff like – I’ve walked through the fire, burnt myself and came out stronger. Nope, I’ve gotten out weaker and yes, I’ve burnt myself but I think I’m in this false reality where I think I’ve come out. But I haven’t. There is still a long way to go.

I was reading up on depression and what effects it has on the mental health. I can say that yes, I am depressed but I know how to pull myself out of it. I have a few people who can snap me out of it, who remind me of the important things in life. We all need people like that in our lives.

What makes me feel better? Feel good? Well, I am your average guy so you can imagine what makes me happy. Or whatever that fleeting emotion of satisfaction is called. But do I do things selflessly? Like wanting to help people for nothing in return? Nope. Because that’s flawed. I help people and whatever satisfaction comes from it makes me feel better. So, I do get a return. I am self-centered. And you all are too. It’s totally fine and this is what I say to console myself. It’s the only thing I can say too.

So mental health – Check. I’ll survive.

How do I comprehend the physical spectrum when I look like Cannonbolt from Ben-10?!?! Google it.

So yes, this is why basketball is back. It’s something I never imagined myself doing again ever.

So physical health – Check. I’ll survive. Precautionary measures have been taken.

But still, why do I still feel uneasy? It’s this feeling in my gut that is unnerving. Have you ever felt happy but in the back of your mind know that this feeling of happiness wont last? Something is coming – will you get through it?

I’m writing after a long time because someone asked me to. I’ve always written a sentence, deleted it and then carried on with my day. I honestly don’t know what I’ve written, why I’ve written it or for whom it is.

I think it’s just for me. Something that reminds me of how life is and how I’m supposed to be.

Am I okay?

I'll survive...

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valleyofthe-lily · 5 months

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Journal Entry #1

My days are pretty normal now. I think I’ve figured out how to function like a regular human being. This was not something I accomplished on my own, of course. A hearty dose of Lamictal, Vraylar, Adderall, and Hydroxyzine have all aided me in my journey of mental stability. That and extensive therapy. It also helps that my new psychiatrist, whom I’ve been seeing for almost two years now, actually believes what I tell him. It’s gratifying, finally being understood by a professional who takes my afflictions seriously.

I wake up very early now. I always wake up very early when I’m unstable, so, when this began, I was appropriately concerned. I’ve been relatively stable for about ten months now, and I have no interest in reverting to a depressed or hypomanic state. Instability can be interesting or even fun at times, but I’ve found that the pros of hypomania eventually dissipate into the worst depressions I’ve ever experienced. I’ve had so many episodes at this point, all of increasing severity, that I know I can’t afford to go through any others. It’s been long enough now waking up early that it no longer concerns me, though.

I don’t think most people understand just how life-altering a serious depression or manic episode can be. Everytime I have an episode, my life is thrown completely off kilter. I withdraw from school, I lose my scholarships, I can’t work, I spend all the money I have, I don’t have any cares whatsoever. I’m constantly left picking up the pieces and trying to salvage the course of life I was on before. For the first time, I’m convinced that I’ll be able to stick out the stability I’m experiencing for a long time. I think that I’ve finally found the right mix of medications that work for me, with minimal side effects, and my routine and quality of life have never been better.

I don’t think I’ll ever be a happy person, but I’m content with where I’m at, and that’s all I can ever ask for. Even though I’m only taking one class right now, at least I didn’t have to withdraw from all of them again. My medical petition from last year was approved, so I have almost $2000 dollars of scholarship money I had to repay into my student account for tuition next semester. I even have a daily routine now. People who struggle with chronic depression understand just how difficult routines can be to maintain when you can barely even function each day. I think we all understand how important routines are for maintaining stability, but I’ve never been able to successfully sustain one. Now, I sleep a normal seven to eight hours a night (instead of twelve, plus three hour naps everyday), wake up from 1:30 to 5:45 in the morning, do my homework, go to class, eat regular meals, and I make time for myself in the evenings. I’ve also regularly been seeing my friends, and I’ve made a few new ones this year, too.

Waking up extremely early has been my favorite aspect of my new routine. If I wake up early enough, from one to three, I’ll wake and bake. If I do this, I’ll usually do the dishes, get my laundry out of the way, clean the apartment, make breakfast, and end with a movie. I can usually get all of this done before 8 AM. Despite my currently extremely productive lifestyle, I still struggle in certain areas of my life. I still probably abuse weed; I use it at least once a day. At this point, I’m trying to be intentional about my usage. I no longer do it when I’m bored and have nothing else to do. I found that having a routine with your weed consumption also helps with intentional usage. I’m also still severely addicted to nicotine. I have no excuses for intentional use there. I’ve made a goal to finally quit by the end of the next semester, and, although I’m apprehensive, I’m determined to cut it out of my life. I know it only makes my symptoms worse when I’m in a bad place, and I don’t want it interfering with my progress in any way. Quitting is easier said than done, obviously. Life is looking up for me, though, in all other regards. I’ve been thinking I might actually make it lately.

#writing #writers on tumblr #bipolar #bipolar writers #mental heath awareness #mental health #daily routine

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tryingmyluck · 5 months

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I am cold

At 23, I thought (rather, expected) that I would be consumed by passion, by fire, by heat, by lust, by youth. But at this age and in this chapter, four months shy of turning 24, I can say with great humility and regret that I have experienced no such heat in my body thus far, and it seems that my biological/mental/spiritual journey has completely forsaken that road. Instead I am growing cold and brittle, with bones made of glass and blood that doesn’t even circulate properly. I am morphing into a reptile of sorts, something blue and green with its extremities on the verge of falling off. I am also on some sort of verge—not falling off into anywhere but more like standing still, solidly still, feet firmly planted in these two holes that seem to be getting deeper the longer I stand. I would say it’s like quicksand but to be more consistent with the metaphor of coldness I am instead standing in a pile of snow and am sinking down into some unknown ground level that has been so camouflaged by the constant and overwhelming snowfall that to even ponder when I will reach stable ground is a joke of sorts. A joke because it’s best not to take these things seriously, I mean we can all get existential at times and maybe tonight I am feeling especially cold but my numb toes and shivering spine are only reinforcing that there is no heat left in my body (if there was any). I look at people around me and I am beginning to feel more alienated amongst the rest because everyone else seems to be cozy and warm, fueling their desires with love and ambition or desire and lust, and I am here simply standing like a curled up shrimp devoid of any pilot light within my oven, my furnace, my stove. You may think this is some kind of sexual allegory, but I am actually talking about my heart, not my cunt. I’m not sure if this low level of temperature is finally getting to me (I think it is) but I am growing more indifferent as the days pass and wondering less and less what life will be like if I actually pursue things that the people around me pursue—because it seems pointless (since I don’t really want them). I don’t have much ambition you could say, and while it is good to come to this conclusion early on, I can also say I vehemently oppose being a bum. To keep it candid: I think I am too smart to be a bum. There is nothing wrong with a lifestyle of complacency, but while I am cold and frigid I know that I also do care about the luxuries in life. By luxuries I don’t mean a nice house or car or a designer bag, I mean emotional luxuries such as hoping, praying, receiving, copulating, mothering, communal existing. Right now as it is: I exist alone. I have done this to myself (I know) and I don’t mind it but it is turning something within me cold and hard. I think being in this big city is also doing that to me, for big cities have always made me loose touch and while they are beautiful and offer you this feeling of freedom that is impossible in a small town, it is hard to exist as an ant when you have no colony. To put it simply, how the fuck am I expected to feed myself and survive as a sole ant. I obviously need a community to rest with, trust, work with, and forage with. That’s not something I have found yet and I don’t know if it will even happen out here in this big blue city, but I would like to think that I don’t need it. I can remain an unbiased observer if I just remain a shadow, a nameless worker, another gear in this machination that is the United States. The only problem with this is that my identity remains shrouded, and that makes my sense of Self dissipate. I have read a lot of books, and watched a lot of movies, and I talk to some people (I watch more) and it seems that everyone ends up getting a spark somewhere in life that propels their ambition. I am not saying that I haven’t had mine yet but maybe I haven’t (so I am saying that I haven’t had mine yet).

#prose #writing #spilled ink #thoughts #overthinking

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jakesimfromstatefarm · 3 years

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how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love.

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules.

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life.

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends.

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space.

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life.

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him.

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings.

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you.

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change.

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history).

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever.

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one.

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second.

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table.

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all.

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking.

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense.

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.)

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue.

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?”

Wrong.

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend.

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.)

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull.

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon.

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak.

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection.

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was.

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners.

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him.

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school)

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time.

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon.

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you.

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be.

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t.

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life.

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you.

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract.

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we?

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second.

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.”

Right. Of course. Obviously.

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way.

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know.

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you.

Yes, that’s it, just say no.

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact.

Jake does not say no.

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another.

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart.

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting.

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea.

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you:

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture.

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world.

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right?

Spoken like a true simp.

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously.

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all.

Wednesday, December 9th

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well.

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist.

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.”

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say.

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself.

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...”

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good.

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often.

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush.

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment.

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking.

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers.

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun.

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table.

“I’m helping y/n study”

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday”

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?”

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party?

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime.

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.”

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes.

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again.

He then looks to you with puppy eyes.

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you.

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that.

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought.

Weird.

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest.

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.”

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no.

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party.

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.”

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.”

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you.

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay.

Admittedly cute.

Thursday, December 10th

You are having a bad day.

You’re having the mother of bad days.

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due.

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms.

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse.

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about.

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal).

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n.

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done.

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space.

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays.

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude.

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone.

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding”

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? ://

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today.

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home.

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures.

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy.

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue.

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.”

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in.

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window.

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door.

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right?

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats.

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood.

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.”

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?”

“Touché,” you click your tongue.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?”

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously.

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you.

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?”

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood.

You nod at his answer.

“You two make a good couple.”

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.”

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen.

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say.

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy.

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.

Jake.

Weird.

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing.

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation.

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon.

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him.

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you.

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.”

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show.

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice.

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand.

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands.

Hm. A little too familiar.

Then, it clicks in his head.

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?”

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied.

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table.

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken.

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?”

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!”

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him.

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice.

You break out of his trance and scoff at him.

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well. Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you.

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.”

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence.

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute.

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.”

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name.

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place. “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan.

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts.

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.”

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it.

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute.

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being.

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion.

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind.

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.”

Friday, December 11th

The party does not clear your mind.

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school.

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood.

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway.

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case.

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings).

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news.

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people.

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap.

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously.

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive.

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you.

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth.

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.)

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons.

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no.

But he sure can be awkward.

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him.

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you.

Bless this pure, pure boy.

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them.

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.”

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!”

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response.

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den.

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.”

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?”

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap).

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.”

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake.

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement.

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.”

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth.

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now.

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.”

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him.

“What do you mean I’m too–”

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say.

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his.

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at.

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop.

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him.

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.”

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing.

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened.

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you.

He’s screwed.

Saturday, December 12th

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night.

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream.

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise.

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone.

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search.

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before.

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet?

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy?

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts.

Talk? Outside his door?

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down.

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less.

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however.

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch.

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is.

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue.

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?”

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you.

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home.

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake?

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps.

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes.

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you.

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence.

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking.

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think.

Not when it comes to you.

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you.

“Look, I-”

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around.

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth.

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.”

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare.

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.”

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help.

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.”

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.”

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.”

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away.

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare.

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two.

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily.

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you.

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach.

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away.

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure.

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response.

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else.

“Too late.”

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’)))))

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writersblog20 · 3 years

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Comfort in the darkest hours

Henry Cavill x Reader

Not my picture. Credts to maker!

Summary: You’ve always had bad nightmares and Henry your boyfriend of a year knew that. The nightmares settled down once you were with him because you feel so safe but one night they came back. Henry takes care of the reader.

Warnings: PTSD, Anxiety, nightmares, nudity but nothing sexual. And a lot of fluff and care taking for the reader.

Words: 2K

A/N This is really a comfort fic since i have really bad nightmares again

Comfort in the darkest hours.

You and Henry, your boyfriend of a year now, had a quiet night in. You both cooked dinner and walked Kal. It was snowing pretty heavy so everything was hidden in the snow. It always calmed you down and you felt a peace when it snowed. The world didn’t seemed so dark when it snowed. So you played with Kal in the snow while Henry was taking pictures of you. After a while you both got cold and decided to go home. Henry held your hand tightly and gave you kisses on your head.

Once arrived home Henry dried of Kal and you got rid of the heavy clothes. Henry walked in the room where you stood in your lingerie. He just looked at you and tried to take all of you in. he walked slowly towards you still in the big jacket which was now wet because of the melted snow. He pulled you in for a kiss. you shivered at his cold hands touching you back. you both decided it would be nice to take a hot bath together.

You made the bath with all the essential oils and bubbles. You already got in the bathtub. Henry came in naked and you looked at the bear of a man, smiling to yourself how you could be this lucky. He had a grin on his face and replicated the scene from superman with Lois in the bathtub. You giggled and you saw indeed that the water from the tub was overflowing. He kissed you passionately and instead of getting behind you, he sat in front of you. His legs by your side and yours by his. He softly took your feet in his hand and started massaging it a bit and kissed them after he was done. You smiled at him, he was indeed very clingy today but you didn’t mind it one bit. You both needed it for some reason.

Once you both got warm again you got out and dried each other off. You both didn’t say a lot to each other but it wasn’t necessary at all. All the actions, smiles, kisses and touches spoke for themselves. It was nice like this. You both sat down on the couch with blankets and tea. The candles were lit and the curtains to the backyard were open you could see the snow falling. You let Henry choose a movie since you both kind of liked the same movie genres so it was never an issue. You pulled the bear towards you and he rested his head on your lap. You stroked his hair softly until he spoke up: “ I’ve never been this happy in my life. I love you y/n” you smiled contantly at him. “I love you too Henry so much.” he just held you a little tighter.

After the movie was over you both decided to call it a night. Even though you had a relaxing night, anxiety creeped up all of sudden. You tried to stay relaxed and tried pushing it away. Henry climbed in and you immediately clung to him which made him chuckle in a low grumble. You smiled against his chest. after a make out session you just held each other and drifted off to sleep.

~time skip~

You had once again a very bad nightmare. They went away for a couple of moths but you always had times where they came back and once they did it was bad. You were covered in sweat and your breathing was heavy. Heart feeling like it was pounding out of your chest. The nightmare was so bad that you were to scared to fall asleep again. You tried getting your heartrate to a normal pace again but it felt useless. Henry must have noticed. He opened his eyes slowly but when he saw you sitting against the headboard with your knees tucked close to you he knew you had a very bad nightmare. He immediately sat up and held you while you started crying. He could feel your heartbeat going crazy. “Hey you’re safe now! I won’t let anyone hurt you!” he whispered to you. You were a very strong woman but at this moment you were extremely fragile, and Henry knew that. He would always love you in moments like this with so much care and showed his extreme soft side because he knew you needed that to feel safe again.

It wasn’t like babying you, he was just as soft as he could be to take care of you and get you out of your bad mental state. He saw that your eyes were as wide as they could get as you were panting. “I can’t go to sleep now… I’ll make some tea downstairs. Don’t worry, go back to sleep.” You told him trying to sound strong but your voice gave you away clear as day. “No I’m staying with you, sweetheart.” You were too tired to argue so you both climbed out of bed. “do you want to talk about it?” he asked you softly while his hand went over your hair with a sad smile on his face. You just shook your head and he nodded.

You went to look out of the window while Henry made you both some chamomile tea to calm you down for what it’s worth. He held a close eye on you. The snow was still falling and you felt the tears slip on your cheek. Henry came back with the tea. He looked at you and put it on the table. He softly turned you around and wiped the tears away with his thumb and gave you a kiss on your nose slowly going to your forehead where his lips lingered, he softly put his arms around you and took you in an embrace. He could feel that your heartbeat and your breathing was still not stable. He took your hand and sat you on the couch. he sat you on his lap, face to face and your legs around him. You buried your head in his neck and he held you tightly. “Focus on my heartbeat and breathing love.” You nodded.

You didn’t know how long you sat there with him, you could feel his hands rubbing circles underneath your (his) shirt. So you had more skin to skin contact to bring you back in the here and now as they call it. His other arm was wrapped around you and slowly went over your hair. You sat as close to him as possible. Once you calmed down a bit Henry praised you. “Good girl, Are you back with me?” he asked you. “almost.” Was all you could say in a whisper. Henry looked outside and had an idea. “well, almost is a step. Why don’t we get some fresh air?” he asked you. “Aren’t you tired?” you asked him softly. “you are my priority right now, tomorrow we’ll have a nice comfy day in, and just relax. So don’t worry. I’ll cross the world for you if I had to.” You looked at him with glassy eyes. he looked sincere and you knew there wasn’t a lie been told.

You nodded and he gave you a long kiss before you both stood up but he didn’t trusted your legs yet so he held onto you for a little longer. He helped you to get your ski pants on and your jacket. He put his beanie on your head which made you giggle softly which made him smile at you. He gave you a kiss on your forehead. “You look cute” he told you and chuckled. Everything you wore right now was way too big for you, because of the thickness of the clothes.

He got his clothes on too and took your hand in his. Kal patted along with you but stayed by your side. Kal knew you didn’t feel well so he was your second protector. You heard the snow crack underneath your shoes. The cold air hitting your face did you well and you started talking about the multiple nightmares you had to endure that night. His face was written with sympathy. “thank you for all that you did tonight.” Henry looked at you in surprise that you had the audacity to thank him. But he also loved that about you because he felt just as cared for and needed as you felt once he wrapped his arms around you. “I’ll never stop until they don’t stop. I will always be here for you. by your side love. I’m not letting go, ever.” You looked up at him and gave him a kiss. “You completely back to me now?” you nodded with a soft smile.

“good let’s get back and make some new tea. I bet the others are cold now.” you both chuckled and made your way back into the warmth of the house. Henry put on some warm lights and you sat on the counter while Henry was making tea next to you. He knew you needed extra loving and he had no problem what so ever to give that to you.

You both sat down on the couch and you took a seat in Henry’s lap while he kept you close to him. he got a book that laid next to him on the small table and softly started reading it to you. if you could you would almost crawl into him so you did the best you could and curled up in a ball into his lap. You felt safe again. You both sipped your tea and you felt yourself grew tired again, Henry noticed and asked you: “Do you want to stay here or go back to bed?” you thought about it but decided it would be better for the both of you to go back to bed. “Let’s go to bed.” You told him and he nodded. He took you bridal style of the couch and carried you to bed. It didn’t matter how heavy you were or how thin, he was a bear of a man, and a very strong one for all that matters so he had no problem carrying you.

He laid you down in bed and put a soft warm light on ( like a salt lamp) and softly put on some comfort songs for you that he knew you loved. It wasn’t loud but enough for you to peacefully get back to sleep and he had no trouble sleeping with those things if it meant that you had good night sleep. You loved him so much for all the things he did. He crawled into the bed next to you and pulled you almost on top of him while he stroked your hair. “how is this?” he asked and looked at you with only love in his eyes. “I love you so much, bear,” You told him getting a little teary for all the sweet things he did. He smiled brightly at you. “I love you too dove, so much! Now let’s try to get some sleep. I’m here with you. I’m not going away and I’ll be here when you wake up” he softly placed his lips against yours while he stroked your cheek. He gave you one last head kiss for the evening and laid your head softly back on his chest. he rested his head on top of yours and rubbed your back so you knew he was there. You drifted off but had no nightmares this time all you dreamed off was Henry and you happy together.

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #henry cavill fic #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fluff #comfort fanfic #Comfort Fanfiction #henry cavill comfort #henry cavill angst

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iamwhelmed · 3 years

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I’d kill for a fanfiction where Helga and Curly get stuck over summer, between elementary and middle school, together and unintentionally become, like, best friends. They bond over being a little eccentric, and over art, and over unrequited love (assuming, of course, Jungle Movie doesn’t happen-- or at least doesn’t happen until, like, way later).

They’re both so obnoxious together, they enable each other like nobody else. They’re making loud, unintelligible, annoying noises whenever somebody (likely Arnold, Lila, Sid...) starts getting preachy or annoying: “MAWP. MAWP. MAWP. See? That’s what you sound like”.

Curly starts completing Helga’s sentences-- but purposely at inopportune moments because she hates it when he does that. He always gives her this little shit-eating grin.

Curly starts getting manic and Helga just grabs him by the shoulders and goes: “Look at me. Look at me. Look at me! Does that sound sane? Does that sound like a thing normal people would do?” And she gets him to maybe back off of letting all the animals in the zoo loose, but she’ll help him sneak into the chimpanzee pen after dark so he can fight one.

Helga starts panicking about her secret love for Arnold getting out and Curly walks her through five different plans of execution to make the Scary Feeling™ go away. Phoebe is the one who tries (sometimes fails) to shut these mission ideas down.

He and Helga have a pact to get platonically married if they hit 30 and are still single. Curly has picked out the suit for this occasion and has a catalogue of possible dresses for Helga, who he knows will be picky. Helga has booked the venue just in case, because she’s nothing if not pragmatic.

Boys will walk up to hit on Helga, and Curly leans back and rates their courting tactics on a scale of 1 to 10, and nobody ever gets more than a 4. Curly will cup his hands over his mouth and audibly mock them after they inevitably get shut down because Helga is a one-man girl: “Your approach was commonplace, your appeal was substandard, and you should feel bad!” Phoebe will smack him after this.

Helga has adopted this rating system for just about anything-- his mental state, hotness of girls, comfort level-- almost like a secret language akin to Ice Cream, but she mainly uses it to ask Curly about his opinions in cinema. Phoebe is the only one who can keep up with what is being communicated, because they cut out so many words that are, to them, superfluous (Phoebe’s verbiage.)

Helga: Backgrounds, eh, 3.

Curly: 4. Script?

Helga: 5.

Curly: Modest.

Helga: Themes?

Curly: 3.

Helga: Also modest.

Curly is involuntarily good with girls when they come back from break. The kicker is that he is totally, incomprehensibly oblivious to it. He’s simply just a charismatic, romantic, suave guy. Years of pining after Rhonda made that a part of him. Him getting hit on and ogled is just a part of Helga’s life, now. She’s the guard dog who pinches hands when they try to touch the unaware pretty boy.

Now, this definitely causes some jealousy in Arnold, because he’s been trying to be friends with Helga for so long, and Curly just... does it without trying??? Also, he is subconsciously aware FiT was not heat-of-the-moment and this feels oddly like Curly is stealing from him-- not that he acknowledges that or recognizes it on any level. Rhonda is also very, very jealous. Not only did Curly get hot over the summer, now Helga is too??? M’am, there is only room for one beauty in Curly’s life and that has always been her.

Phoebe is put off by the possibility of being replaced at first, and almost certainly gets defensive, offensive with Curly over it. But that’s, like, for one episode arc. Now, they’re a trio and she’s the exasperated Mom that keeps her two chaotic, self-destructive children in check.

People think they’re dating (Arnold and Rhonda will disavow this to anybody who will listen), and come up to them asking about how they met, how they got together. Helga and Curly will go out of their way to fuck with these kids.

Random girl fifth grader, stars in her eyes: What is the key to a stable relationship?

Curly: *Undisguised snorting* Live. Laugh. Love?

Helga: I have no idea! You tell me! I’ve never been in one.

Curly: *unrestrained side-holding laughter*

Some other sixth grader who didn’t go to elementary with them: If your relationship had a theme song what would it be?

Curly, turning to Helga, who is muffling herself: Don’t laugh this is serious. *Turns to sixth grader* Crawling In My Skin.

Helga brings out the artist in Curly, the real man who loves deeply and the cute, handsome dork he is, and reigns in his “crazy”. Curly brings out Helga’s wild side and makes her live a little, and inspires her to hide her true self less. They’re like platonic Morticia and Gomez Adams. In this hypothetical, I’m 90% sure this was a Halloween costume they did together at some point. Phoebe was Wednesday.

#hey arnold #helga pataki #arnold shortman #phoebe heyerdahl #Curly Gammelthorpe #Thaddeus Curly Gammelthorpe #Thaddeus Gammelthorpe #Rhonda Wellington Loyd #ps118 #shortaki #those last bullet points I attribute to Jacksfilms #Also Arnold is the only one who gets a perfect score from Curly when he asks Helga out #Rhonda sees Curly perform Hamlet and falls helplessly in love with him

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petersshirts · 3 years

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Too Long | bucky barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: you and Bucky have grown close over the last year, but when he disappears, you really start to worry

warnings: none, pure fluff!

words: 1,9 k

A/N: um, I’m back?? tfatws inspired me for this, and I hope you like it! it’s been some time since I wrote something, so feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

6:00 a.m.

the loud ringing from your alarm woke you and you slowly blinked, trying to figure out where you were and what was going on. after a few seconds, the realisation hit you that it was a normal work day and it was time to get ready for work. you groaned and slowly stood up to make your way to the bathroom.

it was still dark outside but you could hear the sirens on the street - new york city never slept. just like you for the last week. in the kitchen, you made yourself a big cup of coffee to survive the day. for the last few days, nightmares hunted you. and you knew exactly why.

for the next thirty minutes, you quietly got yourself ready and finally walked out of the door of your apartment, trying to ignore the door that you passed on your way downstairs. but the pain in your heart and the name in your head couldn’t just make you forget.

Bucky.

your neighbour, who was just a stranger when he arrived a year ago. but over time, you got to know the quiet man who sent you smiles that made your stomach churn. whenever he laughed, it felt like you just won an Oscar. his laugh felt like music to your ears and made you happy because you had made him happy.

you had never really thought about more than a casual friendship between bucky and you when he had suddenly disappeared a week ago, everything changed. you were worried sick because you knew his history as the winter soldier, and even though he had assured you many times that he was fine and he wouldn’t fall back into his old pattern, you still worried. not really because you were worried for the people around you, but because of him.

you knew that bucky hated to talk about his time as the winter soldier and the way he found his way out. to talk about steve. you had never met captain america but when he disappeared to find another, happier life, bucky was broken. he couldn’t understand why his best friend had left him behind, all alone to himself. at this point, bucky had been mentally stable due to his time in Wakanda, but it still gave him nightmares every night.

and you were the one to stop them. whenever he had a nightmare, he came to your apartment with the key you gave him for emergencies. he slipped right next to you in bed, enjoying your presence more than he would admit. on your part, you were just happy that he trusted you that much to show his vulnerability.

but there was never more than that. and you actually never thought that there was more than that, until he was gone. last tuesday, you knocked on his door for your weekly movie night, but there was no answer. you started to panic, because it was very rare that bucky was not home. maybe he went out, but since he didn’t have any friends other than the old guy he had met on the street, you doubted that.

you called him twenty times, but there was no answer. the panic was rising in your chest, your mind already imaging every single way he could have been hurt or compromised. you got the spare key from your apartment, but when you entered his place, there was no bucky. everything looked just like it always did, a few clothes on the chairs and sofa, but nothing out of the ordinary. there was nobody you could go to to ask for help. so you just went back home, hoping that he would just knock on your door with a smile on his face, saying sorry that he’s late because he went to the supermarket to get some snacks for movie night.

but he didn’t come. every day, you knocked on his door, called him but no answer. it was slowly driving you nuts and you were missing him like crazy. and by crazy you mean not just like a friend. you realised the change quite quickly because the longing in your chest was nothing you had ever felt before. it felt like you were missing a part of yourself and everywhere you looked, you saw him.

bucky was everywhere. in your ruffled up sheets, the musky scent still clinging to your pillow because you refused to wash them and get rid of his smell completely. his sunglasses on your table or the extra blanket you had bought for him for the sofa so he wouldn’t be cold. he had only chuckled at that and pressed a small kiss on your forehead, mumbling a small thank you.

now, a week later, you felt completely hopeless. you didn’t know why he at least called you, this wasn’t a good sign at all. you cared for bucks so much, it frightened you. never before had you had this feeling with a boyfriend for two years, never had you felt so desperate to have him back in your arms.

on your way to your office, you tried to ignore all the horrible thoughts in your head, but it was quite impossible. bucky was everything to you. there. you admitted it. I am in love with bucky barnes.

and you could never tell him. you could never say to him that he was so special to you, that you wanted him in your apartment full time, you wanted to get him your own towels and a workspace. tears started rolling down your cheeks, a sharp pain filling your heart. you had no idea how you should handle this situation.

for the whole day at work, you tried to smile and talk to your co-workers, trying to ignore the horrible feeling in your heart, it felt like bucky himself had stabbed you. when it was finally 4 pm and time to go home, you wandered through the streets, trying to take as much time to go home as possible. because there was nobody waiting for you anymore. you bought yourself some food at your favourite deli and finally opened the door to your apartment complex, your eyes fixed on the floor.

you completely ignored the door you had knocked on so many times and made your way to your place, fumbling with your keys but before you could open the for yourself, it was opened from the inside. you looked into two familiar blue eyes and your heart stopped for a second. you just stared at bucky, not knowing to react.

„you - you’re alive!“ and in the next moment, you fell into his arms pulling him close to make sure that this was not a dream. that he was really here. bucky just chuckled and stroked your hair, smelling the familiar scent of coconut that had slowly but surely become his home. suddenly you pulled away, and checked his face for any injuries but exhaled after a short time because you didn’t see any injuries.

„where have you been? I was worried sick!“ you closed the apartment door behind you, trying to fight the urge to just take one more step and press his lips to yours. bucky stared at the ground, trying to find a good explanation for his sudden disappearance. everything just went so fast when sam called him with the super-soldier serum, he completely forgot about leaving you a message or even call you. but the 104-year-old man forgot his phone at his apartment and since he didn’t remember your phone number, there was just no way to call you. even if that was the only thing he wanted to do. to hear your voice, telling him everything was okay. that he would come home, come back to you.

„I’m so sorry love, but Sam called me to help him with a mission last week. I left in a hurry and left my phone at home. we went to Europe so there was no way to reach you.“ Bucky looked at you, hoping that you would forgive him. he knew he was an idiot to just leave unexpected, but he had also thought that you were just friends. but for the last week, the way he had thought about you changed. he didn’t want to be just friends.

you just grumbled something and walked past him, trying to sort out your thoughts. you were really happy that he was back and safe but also didn’t know how to act around him anymore. it felt like there was some tension in the room that never been here before.

bucky watched while you paced through the living room, a worried look on his face. he just wanted to hold you, whisper sweet nothings in your ear and enjoy your presence. he never wanted to leave your side again, to protect you from all the bad things in this world.

„what’s going on?“ bucky’s voice ripped you out of your thoughts and you looked up, bucky still a few meters away from you. you just sighed. there was no way you could tell him how you felt. he would never feel the same way and just look at you weirdly. you were just friends.

„it’s nothing.“ you mumbled, but bucky knew that it was not just nothing. he stepped forward, now only a few centimetres in front of your face. you sucked in your breath because he had never been that close to you. his blue eyes were watching you, trying to understand your body language. your eyes wandered to his lips and you quickly averted them back to his eyes, but bucky had seen it. a small smile wandered on his lips and he slowly put his hand on your waist, pulling you even closer.

your eyes went wide but before you could say anything, his lips landed on yours. in shock, you opened your mouth and bucks lips entered your mouth, his eyes closed in pleasure.

this is happening. this is really happening.

you closed your eyes in pleasure, a little moan escaping your mouth. bucks heart jumped at that sound, knowing that he had done something right. that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way. after a few minutes of kissing, he slowly pulled away, a glint in his eyes. you could only smile at him and kissed his chin, a small giggle escaping your lips.

„if you haven’t noticed, I’m crazy about you.“ bucky mumbled, his fingers wandering over your mouth, your nose, your brows. he watched you with fascination and the butterflies erupted in your stomach, a warm feeling settling in your gut. you kissed his fingers lovingly, your eyes shining just as much as his.

„and if you haven’t noticed, I’m in love with you.“ at these words, bucky couldn’t stop smiling at you. this was real. you liked him back. no, you loved him back, this broken man with all his flaws.

„Really?“ his voice was only a whisper now, his eyes searching for the truth in your own. you just grinned even more and nodded. „yes, you dork. but don’t you run away like that again, you scared me so much!“

„Never again.“

Bucky engulfed you in a hug and you just stood there together, enjoying each others presence, the both of you not believing their own luck.

It had been too long since there had been that much love in your lives. And it would never change, just get bigger and better over time.

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel #avengers #marvel cinematic universe #the avengers

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