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#I understand that we are not the majority
revehae · 2 days
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rose creek motel
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pairing ↠ jaehyun x (f) reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, age gap (18+), drowning, noncon, baby trapping, unprotected sex, oral, angst
summary ↠ after eighteen years of complying with the rules of your domineering parents, you finally decide it’s time to wipe the slate clean and move away. rose creek motel is nothing in the grand scheme of your life, especially with a history of serial killers lurking around, but when you meet jaehyun, you decide that you’re not in any hurry after all.
wc ↠ 15.8k (i…dont Know)
a/n ↠ okay tbh i intended for the last smut scene to be Darker but you have to understand i was listening to horizon and forever only giggling and smiling and shit. cut me some slack pls. before you read, heed the warnings. i do not intend to glorify age gaps or predatory behaviors.
don’t like it, don’t read.
after a three-hour train ride to another city and another hour of wandering, you were thrilled to stumble across a motel before dusk. at first, there didn’t seem to be any nearby.
it was a smaller one, not part of any major chains throughout the country. there didn’t appear to be many staff nor customers. there was one dude who checked you in at the front desk and maybe a handful of cars in the lot.
not that it mattered. you wouldn’t be here long enough to be concerned about the sheer size of the place. a few days, maybe less, but certainly not more. the grand city of newark was waiting for you and you were borderline impatient to get there. but on the other hand, you wanted to savor this little trip. 
it would mark the first of your own, and the true beginning of your lifelong journey to find yourself.
any other person most likely would have been desperate to kick off their shoes and head to their room for the night, but the creek across the road from the motel caught your eye. you rushed over in spite of your aching feet as though it wouldn’t be there tomorrow, ambling along the riverbank. 
the waters rushed and crashed into slew of rocks, and you closed your eyes as you took in the sound. you could hear birds singing late afternoon songs and the rustling of trees in the early march spring. 
footsteps behind you startled you out of your peace. your foot slipped and your body lurched forward. had not a pair of big, burly arms clasped around you tightly, you would have slipped into the tiny creek. 
you glanced up in shock, meeting a handsome pair of innocent eyes. “sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, pulling you away from the bank. 
when you were safely on your own feet again, the handsome stranger released you. you straightened your skirt and smiled up at him. “it’s fine. thank you for catching me.”
“no problem. it would have been my fault if you fell.” he introduced, “i’m jaehyun. i work at the motel across here.”
you glanced back at the motel, as if you hadn’t seen it before. “oh,” you said, surprised. but the uniform clinging to him gave that away. “not much staff, huh?”
jaehyun smiled. he had deep, adorable dimples. “well, we are a pretty small motel. we do what we can with what we have.”
“do you get a lot of visitors?”
“usually just people with a road trip gone bad,” jaehyun said. “i’d ask what a girl like you is doing out here by yourself, but i don’t want to seem like a creep.”
you laughed, wondering how that would be possible. when you were as handsome as this boy was, it would’ve been more difficult. “no, it’s okay. i’m actually not having a car trouble. i got here by train. i’m on my way to newark.”
“newark,” jaehyun repeated, seemingly interested. “where from?”
“boston,” you chirped. “i’m starting afresh. my birthday was a few days ago and as my parents like to put it, i’ve ‘gone rogue.’”
jaehyun’s eyes went a little wider in surprise. “happy belated birthday,” he said. “how old are you now?”
you shrugged, deciding not to reveal too much information. you were maybe naive to a fault, but not a complete idiot. “that’s a secret. i’m an adult, though.”
jaehyun snickered. “that’s obvious. you checked yourself into the motel, didn’t you?”
well, that was true. but the exterior of the building seemed so shady, you’d initially doubted they would even bother with identification. you were grateful they didn’t require you to be twenty-one. a second longer of wandering and you would have collapsed on the side of the road. 
ignoring his question, you gave one of your own. “how old are you?”
mocking you, jaehyun put a finger to his lip and said, “that’s a secret. but i’m an adult, too.”
you shook your head, but there was an amused smile on your face. “fair enough,” you mumbled, turning towards the creek.
jaehyun’s attention shifted with yours. “it’s called rose creek, our namesake,” he told you. “not much to see out here.”
“that’s not true,” you disagreed. “there’s a ton to see in nature. you just have to open your eyes and look.”
jaehyun seemed amused, giving you a look. 
noticing his furrowed brows, you pointed towards the middle of the water. “look,” you said softly. “there’s a cute little baby turtle right there. they love creeks, because they’re an easy place to find tasty victims.”
jaehyun’s eyes focused, landing on what he had thought was a rock and only noticed upon further inspection was indeed a turtle, chilling in its leathery shell. “damn, you’ve got a good eye.”
you giggled. “i grew up near a creek. you learn to pick up on those sort of things.”
“ah,” jaehyun replied, nodding his understanding. “should we name it?”
“what would we name it?”
jaehyun shrugged. “squirtle.”
that almost prompted you to roll your eyes. “that’s too cliché.”
“then, what do you suggest?” jaehyun asked with a grin, crossing his arms. 
“i don’t know,” you mumbled. “donatello.”
jaehyun snickered. “and that’s any better?”
you threw up your hands. “okay. fine. how about… archie.”
well, that was different from the other suggestions. “why archie?”
“because turtles remind me of that one studio ghibli film about the red turtle,” you told him, lowering your head shyly as you explained yourself. “and when i think of red, i think of that guy from riverdale.”
“isn’t that that show about teens dying?”
you shrugged. “don’t know. never watched it.”
something about that was amusing to jaehyun and he decided that your suggestion was fitting. “alright. then, archie it is.”
you beamed. 
“well, it’s getting dark. i don’t think i have to tell you not to wander too late. you seem like a smart girl,” jaehyun said.
you glanced around at the shadows falling onto the rustling trees and the last gleams of today’s light shimmering on the creek. “you’re right. i should head up,” you replied, turning to face him. “have a good night, jaehyun.”
when you turned away, jaehyun realized he never got your name.
after a long night of trying to catch up on some much-needed sleep, you decided to head down to the pool. it was nice to see a motel with a couple of accommodations. they would make a good enough resting spot before you returned to your travels tomorrow.
there were a number of lounge chairs facing the pool, but instead you chose to climb into a hammock a few feet away from it. it was a nice spring day, neither too hot nor too cold, and you folded your arms behind your head while fighting the urge to close your eyes.
there weren’t a lot of people staying at or near the hotel, so you weren’t surprised to be alone. to think of it, you hadn’t seen anyone but a couple of staff. although you did walk past a room blasting heavy rock.
you heard footsteps, and turned to see jaehyun, sporting his burgundy uniform. he had a cart of towels, probably coming to restock. “jaehyun,” you called out.
jaehyun blinked up in surprise, likely not expecting to see you there. but when he did, he smiled and started to step over. “hey,” he said, digging his hands in his pockets. “you never told me your name.”
“whoops. silly me,” you replied, then told him your name. 
you watched him process it, as if he was deciding in his head whether he liked it or not. he repeated it quietly to himself and said, “that’s very pretty.”
“thanks,” you replied, bursting into giggles. “how’s work going so far?”
“oh, you know,” jaehyun started, gesturing over to his cart with his shoulder. “nothing new. i never thought i would complain about not having enough work to do.”
you snorted. “i get what you mean. i was a camp counselor one summer. those kids drove me mad, you know. but when they were gone, i cried.”
there was a shimmer in jaehyun’s eyes. “do you like kids?”
“yeah. they can be a handful, but they’re delightful. honestly, i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like kids. how can you be mad at someone so innocent and full of life?”
jaehyun nodded his agreement. “i realized a long time ago that people who don’t like kids are always bitter and unhappy with their own lives.”
that made you snicker, and the more you thought about it, he was probably right. “look at that. projection at its finest.”
“can i ask a personal question?”
“sure,” you said reluctantly. “what’s on your mind?”
jaehyun seemed to hesitate, battling with himself in his head for a long minute before he asked, “would you ever have kids?”
that wasn’t so bad of a question. you hummed, not really having to think about it. you already knew your answer. “i’ve dreamt of settling down and having kids with the right person since i was young.”
jaehyun gawked a bit. “really?”
“yes, really,” you told him, laughing at his astonishment. “i guess you can say i’ve always had big dreams. is that surprising?”
“no, it’s…,” jaehyun trailed, finding no words. “those big dreams of yours. they couldn’t happen in boston?”
now that was a bit more personal. you blew out a breath. “well,” you began, glancing at the unnervingly still pool. “i just wanted a new environment.”
jaehyun was tempted to press, to figure you out even more, but he didn’t want to risk startling you off. “maybe you were fated to stop by a really old motel in the middle of nowhere.”
“and meet you?”
something about that made jaehyun smile. you were so smart. “and meet me,” he repeated.
by now, you knew that jaehyun was kind of into you, the same way you were kind of into him. so, you decided to test the waters. “too bad that i’m leaving tomorrow,” you murmured quietly. 
jaehyun heard you, and he frowned, though there was nothing he could do. it’s not like he expected you to put your whole life on hold for a guy you’d just met.
or maybe there was something he could do. “what if i gave you a couple of days on the house?” jaehyun asked.
your eyes flitted up at his deep brown pair. “really?”
jaehyun nodded. “what’s a few days?”
he had a solid point there. what was a few days? newark would still be there later on, and plus you had been taking your sweet time to make it there anyways. you weren’t in a hurry to get to this new life.
“then, i guess i’d stay,” you said, grinning wildly.
jaehyun mimicked a victorious grin. “i think i’d like it if you stayed much longer than that, but i know you’ve got big plans.”
in all honesty, that surprised you a little. he was talking to you as if you had been here weeks, and not less than twenty-four hours. “what would someone like me do in connecticut?”
jaehyun shrugged. “we’ve got… yale.”
you snorted. “and what makes you think i’m smart enough to get into yale?”
“actually, a lot of things. but i’d better get to work before i get caught slacking on the job,” jaehyun said, pointing to a camera projecting from the side of the motel that had a complete overview of the pool.
you gawked. “those things work?”
jaehyun laughed at your surprise. it was addictively cute, seeing his dimples deepen and his eyes sparkle. “you’re surprised?”
“a little bit,” you confessed quietly.
to your surprise, jaehyun’s hand softly brushed your arm. it was so gentle, so fleeting, you could’ve convinced yourself it never happened had you not felt a lingering tickle where he’d touched you. “see you around,” he said to you featherly.
“see you,” you replied in a small voice, having lost it all. your eyes were fixed to his back as he walked away.
damn it, you were wanting more of this guy you barely knew.
almost half an hour passed before you eventually decided to head back up to your room. you wanted nothing more than to get to know jaehyun better, but you would never interfere with a man’s pay. plus you were pretty confident that he would come to you when he was free enough.
there was a guy hovering over the railing next to your room, because he had been staying in the one beside yours. there was a joint between his fingers, although you had noted a couple of signs prohibiting it, not that anyone seemed to care. the stench of marijuana was all you could smell when you passed certain doors.
you had expected to slip past him and enter your room without interruption, so imagine your shock when he said, “i wouldn’t walk around here wearing stuff like that if i were you.”
like first nature, you tightened the towel around you. “excuse me?” 
the man didn’t look at you, facing the world. you could see the creek from here, and that was where his gaze seemed to be rooted, too. “when you’ve lived as long as me, you know things,” he told you. “you see that creek over there? a lot of bodies used to turn up there in the eighties. young girls that stayed here a night or two.”
you said nothing, because you had nothing to say. the obvious discomfort on your face was enough. 
“i’m just saying. you look like you’re alone. wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you,” he said, putting out the joint and walking away.
well, that was single-handedly the weirdest interaction you’d had at this motel so far. you hurried to unlock your room, immediately locking the door behind yourself.
you tried not to think much of it as you changed clothes, but you couldn’t help but wonder if that man was telling the truth or if he’d just had a little too much to smoke. either way, it was over twenty years ago. jaehyun had mentioned nothing to you about any serial killers.
then again, he was clearly trying to get you to stay. the last thing he would’ve wanted was to scare you off.
chill the fuck out. just don’t hang around any old people. like that guy, you told yourself, comforting.
given that you didn’t go out again that day, you didn’t see jaehyun at all until you finally emerged from your room the next afternoon in pursuit of a late breakfast. but when you glanced across the railing, you saw a figure all too familiar facing the creek.
forgoing breakfast for now, you raced downstairs and headed the road. they weren’t busy at all, although you still had a habit of checking before you crossed. 
jaehyun heard you approaching, but didn’t turn around to face you. “how come i just know that it’s you?” he asked. 
you snickered, but it wasn’t like too many people would be strolling around this creek out of a curious interest. “maybe i have really distinguishable footsteps?”
laughing, jaehyun finally met your eyes and beckoned you closer. you obliged, cautiously stepping to his side.
it was quiet for a moment, but it wasn’t awkward. the two of you were marveling at the beauty of nature together, enticed by what you saw. it was sunnier today than it was yesterday and sunlight filtered through the trees, shimmering on the water.
“i’ve been thinking about what you told me,” jaehyun finally said after a minute or two. “when you said there’s a lot to see in nature. and ever since, i’ve been looking and appreciating the little things i didn’t notice before. you were right.”
“of course, i am,” you replied, but the cockiness was to hide the flutter of your heart. “when i’m sick of human nature, it’s always nice to come back to earth. it’s beautiful.”
jaehyun bobbed his head in agreement. “archie’s over there.” he pointed somewhere along the far end of the creek. “it likes the sun.”
“yeah. sun basking is, like, a turtle’s favorite hobby,” you said, poking your head out to spot the cute baby turtle. you were grinning from ear to ear. 
“what a simple life,” jaehyun said, lightheartedly shaking his head in envy.
you burst into giggles. but that reminded you of one of the many curious thoughts you had about jaehyun, and you figured now was a great time to ask. “hey, i didn’t want to ask this before because i didn’t know how you take it. but you don’t look like the typical guy in motel business.”
from the look on his face, jaehyun was anything but offended. “it’s my parents’ business,” he explained. “i just work here part-time.”
“ah.” you nodded your understanding, finding that a satisfactory answer. but it only made you want to know who jaehyun was when he wasn’t hard at work, donning the family uniform.
then, you remembered what that guy told you about the murders and realized that perhaps jaehyun knew more about if they genuinely existed. 
jaehyun beat you to a word. “by the way, are you going to tell me how old you really are? because adult could mean you’re twenty-four or forty-two.”
you rolled your eyes. he was being funny. “i’m eighteen.”
“damn,” jaehyun said, wincing. “i’m nine years older than you.”
that was totally surprising. “really?”
“you don’t see the wrinkles?” jaehyun asked, pointing to his smooth, wrinkleless face.
god, he was alarmingly handsome. not to mention his skin looked literally poreless. “please. i thought you were twenty-three at the oldest.”
“that’s funny,” jaehyun said with amusement. “i thought you were at least old enough to drink. damn, you carry yourself like you’re older.”
that wasn’t the first time you had heard something along the line of those words, but damn, this guy was pushing thirty?
jaehyun seemed to have sobered a little the next time you glanced at his face, like he was worried about something. “is it weird now?”
“no,” you told him too quickly, maybe because you didn’t want it to be. “not unless you make it weird.”
it seemed like time stopped and the world was no longer spinning for a minute as you and jaehyun gazed into each other’s eyes. and the closer he came to you, your noses nearly brushing, the less you could breathe. “am i making it weird?” he whispered.
you couldn’t speak, so you simply shook your head, gaze lowering to his perfect lips.
everything happened in an instant. one second, you were thinking about how he was perfect from head to toe, and the very next, your heart was soaring as his lips met yours. your eyes fluttered closed, and you felt as if you were being whisked away into a wonderland.
the two of you kissed with heat and passion, overcome with the urge to swallow one another whole, and jaehyun was somewhat surprised by how talented of a kisser you were. the feeling was mutual. you had kissed a handful of boys, but never any with this much finesse.
maybe you had been wanting to kiss jaehyun this whole time, and never knew until you had him.
jaehyun broke away after a moment or two, impressed that you weren’t the first to tap out. something about kissing you was addictive. damn, it made a pretty picture in his head, your arms thrown around his neck and his on your back.
“damn, baby,” jaehyun said, catching his breath. “where’d you learn to kiss like that?”
you peered up at him with a smile, wondering if he somehow got even handsomer in the time your eyes had been closed. “you say i carry myself like i’m older than i am. well, my folks would beg to differ.”
that answer was vague as hell, but jaehyun understood what you meant perfectly. “ah, teenage rebellion? you make out with a lot of guys to piss your parents off?”
“sure, let’s go with that,” you mumbled, still none too keen on disclosing what was officially your old life. then, you caught a glimpse of his lips, and burst into laughter. “you’ve got a little something there.”
“yeah?” jaehyun asked, swiping his thumb over a lipgloss stain that you’d left on the corner of his mouth.
“a little bit to the left,” you told him, trying - and failing miserably - to keep a straight face. “no, my left.”
jaehyun pretended to get annoyed, grumbling, “if i kiss you again, will it matter that i wipe it off?”
at the thought of kissing jaehyun again, your heart skipped a beat or two, but you tried not to show it on your face. “i think that would defeat the purpose.”
jaehyun smiled, and before you knew it, your lips were pressed together again. all you could hear was the obvious wet smacking of your lips, the soft murmuring of the wind, and the quiet rippling of the water.
but you could feel his touch, his hand gingerly falling from the middle of your back to the apex of your thighs. jaehyun pulled away from your lips again, but only to kiss you on your jaw and neck. and everything about it made you feel hot inside out, as if you were scalding.
feeling you tensing beneath his fingertips, jaehyun grinned smugly. he leaned into your ear, whispering, “how about we head up to your room, yeah?”
you were no idiot. it was plain what that meant and a kind of nervous excitement settled in the pit of your stomach like a kaleidoscope of butterflies. “okay,” you replied, letting him take you by the hand.
almost the second you were safely behind closed doors, jaehyun pressed you against the nearest wall and kissed you fiercely. although you were taken by surprise, you returned the kiss with the same amount of fervor, slightly sticking your tongue into his mouth.
mischief curled onto jaehyun’s lips, pleasantly surprised by all the little things you were initiating. his hands slowly wandered down your body for a minute, one hand at your ass and the other cupping your breasts over your shirt. you made a soft breathy noise that had jaehyun scorching with the itch to fuck you, and it only increased tenfold when he noticed your eager hands fumbling with the buckle on his belt.
while your fingers were hard at work, jaehyun’s were too, waiting for the perfect time to slip underneath your shirt. you shuddered when the tips of his fingers brushed against your stiff nipples, whispering jaehyun’s name. 
“come over here,” jaehyun said, leading you over to the bed. 
he gently lowered you down onto the mattress and started to undress you piece by piece in between kisses, pressing his lips against every bit he exposed. it was all you could do to contain your agitation, holding your breath as his face crept lower. 
to keep the more uneasy thoughts out of your head, you focused on jaehyun, asking, “aren’t you on the clock?”
“that’s the thing about working for your parents,” jaehyun said without looking up, giving his undivided attention to your legs as he yanked your skirt off. “what are the odds that they’ll fire their only son?”
“oh,” you said. he did look damn fine in that burgundy uniform, but you would’ve liked to see him without it on.
the more naked you became, jaehyun saw the way you shuddered nervously, and chuckled quietly to himself. “you’ve never done this before.”
he wasn’t asking. that was clear by his tone. it was an astute observation that you couldn’t even deny.
you frowned. “is it obvious?”
“a little bit,” jaehyun replied honestly, smiling at you. “i was a virgin before, too.”
you grinned bashfully. not a second later, your eyes made the mistake of glancing down and getting a eyeful of the imprint of his dick, and you looked away, swallowing the lump in your throat. “i don’t mind kissing assholes, but they say that your body is a temple, and i’ve never met anyone worthy, i guess.”
jaehyun raised a brow and pressed, “until now?”
that made you chuckle. jaehyun was very good at reading in between the lines, like you. “until now,” you repeated. “you’re my first.”
“and hopefully your last,” jaehyun flirted.
the stupidest smile was on your face. it was a foolish thing to hope, all things considered, but it made you feel pined after. “jaehyun, what was your first time like?” you asked.
jaehyun seemed a little grim when he heard your question, but before you could apologize for potentially overstepping, he replied, “it was with someone i had been with for a very long time, and thought i would be with forever.”
there was no doubt in your mind that it had been someone jaehyun loved and lost, and you couldn’t help but feel for him. 
not wanting the mood to shift, jaehyun quickly changed the topic back to you, and everything he wanted to do to you. “trust me,” he said. “i’m going to do everything i can to make sure that even if you go, you never forget me.”
you barely had time to respond before jaehyun tugged your panties away, dragging a pair of fingers through your wet folds. you made a tiny noise as he used them to gauge how wet you were. dissatisfied, he sank to his knees, lips meeting your folds. 
jaehyun darted his tongue out, circling your sensitive clit immediately after. you hadn’t expected the sensation to be so sharp, especially so soon, and you gasped, thighs tensing together. jaehyun got a hold of them and kept them apart as he pleased, making you take every second. 
“jae,” you rasped, unable to get his full name out. 
jaehyun grinned, lips curling against your pussy. damn, you were a sensitive one. if you were reacting like this already, what would you do when he got inside you?
you squirmed as jaehyun continued to go down on you, but it was useless. he was so strong, holding you in place as your body reacted to every single swipe of his tongue against your bundle of nerves. it was too much stimulation and yet jaehyun didn’t seem to be bothered, thriving on your pleasure.
god, every sound you made was a whimper of jaehyun’s name. he couldn’t deny that it made his dick twitch in his underwear, aching to be buried balls deep inside you, but he was holding out for your sake. as badly as he wanted to fuck you senseless, he wanted your first time together to be unforgettable for the right reasons even more.
if he didn’t, what would make him any different from those assholes you let kiss you purely to make some kind of rebellious statement?
jaehyun didn’t want to be a statement, the thing you fell back to after all else had failed. he wanted to be the answer, the one to stitch you back together, the one you crashed into when the tides got high.
you had never felt anything like this before in your entire life. of course, there had been plenty times where you had gotten yourself off, but you had never known pleasure of this magnitude until now. your own hands had nothing on jaehyun’s and his damn skilled mouth.
jaehyun liked how sensitive your body was. it was all too easy to get a reaction out of you, and he was so attracted to how you couldn’t help but respond to every suck and lick, shuddering in his grasp without control.
“jaehyun, i can’t…,” you trailed, fingers desperate to clasp something, to anchor yourself. you would have wound them through his hair, but you were afraid of accidentally hurting him, and settled for the sheets.
“yes, you can,” he said, pulling away from your dripping cunt for a few seconds. “you’re doing good, baby. cum on my tongue.”
it felt as if you were going to burst from the inside and you didn’t really want him to stop, regardless of how incessant the pleasure was. no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to keep still. you wanted more than you knew your body could handle.
to say nothing of the fact that jaehyun was doing everything in his power to drag you to your breaking point. he knew exactly what to do to have you crying out his name. for a moment or three, he had you convinced that he was everything you ever wanted. now, it was too hard to think.
in a matter of minutes, you were coming undone with a whimper so sharp you were certain your temporary neighbor would come knocking on the door.
“that’s it,” jaehyun crooned with the slyest fucking grin on his face, replacing his tongue with a pair of hefty fingers.
you tried to shove his hand away, the stimulation tearing you to shreds, but jaehyun was keen on breaking you down until you couldn’t be destroyed any further. until he had ruined you for any other man.
your bare chest heaved violently as you fought to catch your breath, blinking a couple times to clear the wet daze of your eyes. there was nothing you could do except silently gawk at jaehyun like he had singlehandedly just stolen your heart.
he finally pulled away, smugly asking, “need a break?”
after a few seconds of gathering your bearings, you rose to your knees and grabbed jaehyun by the back of his head to bring his lips to yours, pulling him down to the creaky mattress beneath you. jaehyun was surprised, but he liked how assertive you were, resting his hands at the back of your legs and letting you sink your weight onto him. 
it was criminal how good of a kisser he was. and if that didn’t already have you dripping, then the way he touched you all over would have. you felt his hard dick against your thigh and couldn’t think of a time where you had wanted anything so badly. 
“take these off,” you said to him when you pulled away from his mouth, tapping his underwear. “and i want to be on top.”
jaehyun snickered in amusement. “whatever she wants,” he said, reaching for his underwear the second you climbed off.
your mouth ran dry the moment you caught a glimpse of jaehyun’s intimidatingly thick length and you were certain that he was going to split you in half. you desperately didn’t want to come off as a shy virgin, but every second that passes made you slightly antsy.
fortunately, there was something to steal your attention away from jaehyun’s impressively large size, and your entire demeanor shifted. “wait, fuck. do you have a condom?”
“close your eyes,” jaehyun said. 
you immediately furrowed your brows, wondering what he was up to. 
noticing your wariness, jaehyun added reassuringly, “five seconds. come on, i won’t do anything weird. i promise.”
reluctance was written all over your face in a large bold font and you had your doubts, but you chose to trust him, watching the back of your eyelids and counting up to five in your head. 
when your eyes fluttered open, jaehyun was grinning like an idiot with a condom between his fingers.
you gawked, astonished. “where’d you get that from so fast - up your ass?”
jaehyun burst into laughter and only said, “a magician never reveals his secrets.”
“give me this,” you said, taking the condom packet out of his hands to tear it open. 
“bossy,” jaehyun mumbled under his breath.
that made you giggle, gingerly placing the condom over the head of his cock, and jaehyun noticed how your bottom lip stuck out when you were heavily concentrated.
you were too enamored with his dick to notice that he was staring at you as though you were the prettiest thing in the whole universe. for some odd reason, the more you looked at it, the less scary it seemed. “it’s actually kind of cute.”
jaehyun wasn’t expecting to hear those words and it completely snapped him out of his little daze. you glanced up at him when you heard him quietly snickering. “you’re something else, you know?” he asked.
“i know,” you replied, having heard many things along the lines of that statement. “you ready?”
it was ironic that you were the one asking him, but jaehyun played along anyway. “show me what you got, baby.”
you moved to straddle him again, raising yourself over his size and grabbing him in your hands to steadily lower yourself. the two of you sighed together in unison as your slick walls clamped around him.
there was one reason why you firmly chose to be on top and that was because you wanted to directly control the pace in case things got to be too much for you. you took your sweet time to sink down deeper and deeper, never too keen on doing too much too fast. in spite of the great lengths jaehyun went to prepare you, it was still a tight fit.
it felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, as if you were choking on your own breaths, and your heart was pounding louder than ever.
“that’s it, baby,” jaehyun said, gathering your soft thighs in his big hands. “is it too big for you?”
you shook your head, having your pride to protect and defend with your entire body. “no, i can take it.”
jaehyun grinned proudly. “i know you can. that’s my girl.”
now that was a sure-fire way to get you hot and bothered. your heart fluttered at the praise and you hid your smile in your elbow, tempted to ride the soul out of him.
you were maybe somewhat impressed by how deep inside of you jaehyun was and definitely plenty aroused. you had feared how far he could go, but now that your cunt was involuntarily tightening around him, gushing around him hotly, it was everything you wanted.
jaehyun was as astonished by you as you were by him, watching you take his cock like a fucking champ. you may have been fighting to let all of him inside, but you were doing a mighty good job, all things considered. there weren’t too many girls he’d had with your determination to ride.
you had finally found a comfortable pace and although there was a little pain, the rapture on your expression was something that you couldn’t deny. you were watching jaehyun watch you, noticing his face tense in a similar manner beneath you. 
and it was to die for. 
“oh my god,” you moaned, hands falling down onto his naked chest. 
jaehyun couldn’t help but think the same thing with how you were gripping him for dear life and he was barely holding it together. to say nothing of the way you were crying out his name again like it was the only word you knew. he couldn’t help but think about how nobody else had ever heard your lips part open to whimper their name. 
and he would be keeping it that way, no matter the measures he had to take to ensure he kept you in his big, strong arms. 
you leaned into jaehyun, pressing your lips to his as you fucked yourself on him. the tiny room was overwhelmed with sound, the bed creaking and your lips locking, and your bodies meeting in a loud wet smack. something about it turned you on more than you thought you were capable. 
jaehyun thought he could watch you on top of him for hours upon hours. his hands wandered to your breasts as you kissed him, tenderly fondling them and brushing his thumbs over your stiff tits. you were riding him into the night like there was no tomorrow, like you had something to prove, and he loved every second of it.
the softest of whimpers escaped your mouth when you pulled back, brushing your hair behind your ears. you couldn’t fathom the ecstasy hanging over you, blindsiding you. maybe it was in your head, but you swore you could feel him in the pit of your stomach, and you didn’t know whether that was normal or not.
jaehyun affectionately gathered your hands in his, holding them as you desperately tried to anchor yourself and make sense of the many things you were feeling at once.
it wasn’t an overstatement to say that you were seeing stars. you and jaehyun were getting each other off, every guttural sound he made taking you to the moon, and every twist your face made sending him crashing into the atmosphere.
you were flush against him, kneading his cock perfectly, and that made jaehyun mumble curses underneath his breath. “goddamn, beautiful. slow down,” he said.
but you didn’t want to slow down the pace, you only wanted to keep the fire burning. you laughed breathlessly and teased, “why? is it too much for you?”
jaehyun chuckled and swore as he closed his eyes, not wanting to admit that you were unraveling him quicker than he’d expected. if this was your first time, why did it feel like you were deflowering him, exposing him to a kind of euphoria that was unlike anything he had felt before. 
he had been intent on dragging things out, but you were making him weak underneath your fingertips. damn, he wanted to thrust his hips up into yours, but he had a feeling you wanted to take the lead, for your own sake. 
“maybe it is,” jaehyun confessed, much to your surprise. “maybe you’re getting me off too fast and it’s hurting my pride.”
“cum, baby,” you whispered sultrily, wanting to see a guy like him fold under pressure. it would be like making a grown man cry. “i want to see it.”
jaehyun sucked in a breath at those words, accepting his fate. you were bringing him closer to the end and there was nothing that he could do about it, even if he wanted to.
you were glistening in coats of sweat from head to toe, and your thighs were starting to ache, but all you had to do was hold on for a little while longer. it was obvious that jaehyun wasn’t far from the finish line, and in truth, neither were you.
it didn’t help that jaehyun was unintentionally imagining things that would get him off sooner. thoughts of you were all that occupied him, picturing how it feel to fuck you raw and hard, holding you squarely beneath him. you were pretty on top of him, but he was enamored with how you had squirmed and cried out underneath him, too.
you had forgotten about everything else in the entire world while you rode jaehyun to the ends of it and back. no part of you thought about your hectic life back home, about the life you’d planned in boston, and everything in between.
the only thing on your mind was jaehyun and in spite of being totally consumed by something, it was the most peaceful your thoughts had been in months.
you could feel jaehyun’s eyes rooted on you and glanced down to meet his gaze, noticing him smiling up at you. when he looked at you like that, he made you feel so wanted. you were naked and bare in front of him, in a literal sense, and he’d accepted every piece of you.
“what are you smiling at, silly?” you asked in between thick breaths. 
“you,” jaehyun replied, like it was obvious. “you’re so damn beautiful, you know. i could fuck you forever.”
not wanting to show how much that had gotten to you, you quipped, “i think i’m the one doing the fucking here.”
jaehyun chuckled, and you thought it was because of what you had said, but he had felt you pulsing around his cock, and he was amused by how easy it was.
the room was getting hotter than ever and it was becoming harder to breathe with the stuffy air. you almost thought that your skin was on fire, and you were scalding on the inside. you were going even harder now, chasing relief.
jaehyun was losing his self-control and he couldn’t help but lift his hips into yours, making you gasp loudly. your head leaned back as you both rocked your hips, desperately trying to finish yourselves.
“jay,” you cried out again, tightening your hold on your hands to ground yourself like you thought you might fly off somewhere.
“i’m right here, darling,” jaehyun crooned, holding your hands firmly. “i’m not going anywhere.”
you nodded your head, trusting him, giving in to him. 
everything after that was almost a blur. the rapture had you lightheaded, and all you remembered was the heat spitting through your core and your toes curling. 
but jaehyun remembered so much more than that. he could picture the exact look on your face that did it for him, unraveling him, sending him cursing at the stars. the tremble that shuddered through his thighs as his cock twitched. he remembered the way your pussy throttled him as you orgasmed, moaning his name. 
when it was over, you collapsed onto his chest, panting and heaving as if you had ran a marathon together. 
neither of you made a move to shift positions for a long while, jaehyun simply admiring the feeling of your bodies sticking together. “are you okay?”
you weakly nodded your head. that word was an understatement, but you didn’t have the strength in your bones to muster a better one yet. few pleasures came close to the kind you were currently reaping the afterhighs of. 
god, you weren’t stupid enough to throw everything away for some boy you’d just met, but he made you want to. 
jaehyun preciously kissed your neck and shoulders. “go to the bathroom,” he whispered. “i’ll go in after you.”
“okay,” you replied obediently, starting to peel yourself off him, until you had a thought. “are you gonna stay?”
jaehyun’s brows furrowed. “do you want me to stay?”
of course, you did. you had just lost your virginity to him in the best way possible, exposed yourself to him in a way no one else had ever seen, including yourself. not only that, but considering you were a young girl in the middle of essentially nowhere, being around a kindhearted, strong guy made you feel safer.
“please,” you said, wanting to be nowhere else but in his arms for the meantime. 
jaehyun smiled and kissed you again, the corner of your mouth this time. “okay, but i have to leave early in the morning. i can’t slack off forever.”
you did the same, throwing your arms around his neck, before bringing your lips to his neck and whispering, “couldn’t you?”
“you drive me insane, woman,” jaehyun groaned, sensing himself getting riled up again. 
you giggled, finally crawling off him and heading towards the bathroom, but not before demanding, “don’t move.”
jaehyun had no place else that he’d rather be, even if he was in some moderately crappy motel that was understaffed and a playground to creeps. you were there, so it might as well have been like home.
when you returned to the room, jaehyun was still there, only he had disposed of the condom now and he was no longer naked. he went in after you, like he said he would, and came back to also find you redressed.
well, sort of. beyond putting back on your bra and panties, your efforts were a little more nonexistent.
“well, now i feel overdressed,” was the first thing jaehyun said when he came back. 
you burst into giggles. “because you are.”
with that, jaehyun stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and came to join you on the bed, melting into your side. he couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses, completely under your spell now. 
the two of you got comfortable. it was clear that jaehyun had no intention of returning to work tonight and had the motel been busier, you would’ve urged him back to his shift. rose creek would be fine without him for a few hours, maybe longer.
you were more important, and jaehyun seemed to think so too, eager to know you better. “so,” he started. “does your family know you’re in connecticut right now?”
you couldn’t help but laugh. “hell no. as far as they know, i just vanished in the middle of the night. i didn’t tell them i was going to boston, either. i probably should’ve picked somewhere down south, or on the west coast, but i don’t think they’d bother looking.”
jaehyun frowned the more he heard your words, displeased by how much strife it seemed you had with your own blood. “why not? disobedient soul or not, you’re still their flesh.”
try telling them that, please, you thought, but didn’t say. “because i’m the black sheep,” you explained. “i’m the child that didn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer.”
“what do you want to be?” jaehyun asked, pulling you closer. looking at you as if he genuinely wanted to know.
it surprised you, because rarely did you meet anyone who seemed to have cared. “a vet,” you grumbled, feeling stupid.
“now that’s a surprise,” jaehyun replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. and when you smiled an inch, he felt like he was getting somewhere. “but i think it suits you. you’d be a great vet.”
your cheeks were burning. it was embarrassing and heartwarming at the same time to have your aspirations validated for once. it was too strange for you and you said, “i’m talking about myself too much. what about you? you said this was part-time. do you have a full-time job?”
“to be honest, i haven’t really worked a lot since i graduated. my parents own a lot of property in the state and this is just one of them. the others are better, i promise,” jaehyun said.
for some reason, that made a lot of sense. jaehyun seemed a little too extravagant for this sort of environment. “you know, that clears up a lot questions i had about you. but then, why work here instead of someplace better?”
“in case you haven’t noticed, hardly anyone comes out here.”
you snickered to yourself when you realized the appeal of working here for a guy like jaehyun. fewer crowds, fewer interactions, and more excuses to be sleeping around with pretty girls instead of legitimately working.
“but i do work for certain things. i didn’t have everything handed to me,” jaehyun said to clarify. “i’ve been trying to settle down. i know it doesn’t look like it right now, but i have. and i want to give my future family everything.”
that didn’t surprise you either, but it did garner your attention. “oh?”
jaehyun nodded. “yup. my parents have been begging me to bring a girl home for three, four years now. they said that they know i’ll be married someday, but they’re not as confident that they’ll be around to see it.”
considering that jaehyun did come across as slow and steady, for the most part at least, you laughed, because the only reason they weren’t right to be unconfident was jaehyun’s good looks and charming personality. 
you tossed an arm over him, peering into his eyes. “what’s stopping you?”
jaehyun shrugged. if he had it his way, he would’ve brought someone home forever ago, but he’d found that few things went according to plan in his love life. “haven’t found the one, i guess.”
that was fair. you wanted a family too someday, but never in your life had you met somebody that you would let do more than kiss you, until jaehyun. 
“the thing with love is that it’s trial and error,” jaehyun told you, coming from a place of obvious experience. “so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.”
“i wouldn’t know,” you mumbled. “i’ve never been in love.”
jaehyun’s eyes fell down to your gorgeous hand that was resting above his happy trail and smiled to himself. “you will be, i’m sure. i think love is out there for all of us, patiently waiting.”
you furrowed your brows, like those were the last words you expected to here out of his mouth. “so, you’re one of those.”
the look on jaehyun’s face matched yours. “one of what?”
“a hopeless romantic,” you sighed, but there was a smile on your face. 
jaehyun laughed. “i guess you could say that, but i just tell people that i’m ambitious.”
“well, mister ambitious,” you said, stifling a yawn. “i’m sleepy, and you’ve worn me out for one day. promise to tell me more about yourself tomorrow?”
jaehyun nodded, then leaned in to kiss your cheek. “i promise. i get off early tomorrow, so we’ll have more time together. goodnight, baby.”
“goodnight, jaehyun,” you whispered, snuggling into his chest.
like he couldn’t get enough of you, jaehyun gave you one final kiss on your forehead before he turned off the lamp on the nightstand. he had his arms around you, your back flush against his chest, and you stayed that way until night’s end.
it was some of the best sleep you’d gotten in a long time. being in jaehyun’s arms made you feel comfortable, protected. you weren’t certain why, but it was like no harm could reach you there. you were untouchable and you didn’t have to worry about anything.
when you woke up, you were surprised to still find him there, barely awake himself. “you’re still here?” you asked, unexpectant.
jaehyun grinned at you when you turned to rest your head on his chest and replied groggily, “i thought i’d stay to hear your pretty voice one more time before i left.”
you rolled your eyes at his obvious flirting, but there was a huge beaming smile on your face and you were kissing him affectionately merely seconds later.
one thing lead to another. you swore you didn’t know how it happened. slow, sweet kisses were met by languid, intentional touches, until jaehyun was on top of you, fucking every bit of sleepiness out of your body.
the tiniest moans escaped you as jaehyun rocked his hips into you, slow and gentle, and you clung onto his forearms to anchor yourself back down to earth. he was whispering dirty little nothings in your ear, telling you how good you were to him, unraveling by the minute. 
it just felt too good having him inside you, filling you to the hilt and making your bodies seem inseparable. you loved being tangled together, limb to limb, pleasuring each other like there was no other option. it was the first time you had craved someone so desperately. 
you didn’t want to get out of bed when he was gone. you had all the energy in the world, but you were unfathomably sore. somehow, in a good way. you liked feeling the traces of jaehyun in your bones long after he had slipped away. 
deciding not to rot in bed while you waited for him to return, you got up to take a shower and rinse away the scent of sex from your body. it would be a while, anyway. jaehyun had mentioned something about going back to his place for a minute. 
part of you wanted to feel guilty for keeping him overnight, but you couldn’t. not when you knew that he had enjoyed it as much as you had. you wanted jaehyun, and he wanted you. there were no doubts. 
drying off, you noticed that you had used the last towel and you would need more to cover the last two days of your extended stay here. you got dressed and headed down to the main lobby, requesting some from the guy that had been working the desk since you got there. 
you leaned against the wall while you waited, your thoughts naturally wandering off to jaehyun and his handsome face and stupidly adorable dimples. and maybe his unthinkably talented cock, but only for a second or two. maybe three.
it was strange that he had been the only thing you knew your entire time here, and even then, you barely knew him. under different circumstances, you would have wanted to all there was to know about jaehyun. you would always remember him, even when he was forever gone. 
“those towels you wanted,” said the guy working the desk, snapping you out of your daydream. 
you walked up to the desk, smiling kindly as you accepted them. “thank you. sorry for the inconvenience.”
“it’s fine. have a good day,” he replied, smiling back suspiciously wide. 
you didn’t comment on it, wishing him the same and heading for the door. 
before you could reach it though, you heard his voice again. “by the way, i heard you getting it good when i was making my rounds,” he told you slyly. “how much for the inconvenience?”
dickhead, you thought. your smile dropped and you switched on a dime, shooting him a hefty glare. “i’m not for sale,” you grumbled, storming the fuck out there. 
god, why were the interactions you had with men at this motel getting increasingly weirder? had not jaehyun been keeping you around, you would have been on the next train to boston days ago. 
you were angry as hell at being propositioned for sex by some random stranger, but you tried to let it go. although you would definitely be ranting to jaehyun about it later. speaking of, on the way back to your room, you noticed the door to one a few rooms down was ajar. 
it was frequented by jaehyun, you’d accidentally noticed. sometimes, you would see him come and go, way too often for any customers to be staying there.
you didn’t mean to pry. you had only gone up to check if he had already arrived, but there was no sight of him anywhere. the one thing that was clear was that he spent a hell of a lot of time here.
there weren’t too many things, considering he didn’t live there, but there were a couple of uneaten snacks sitting on the table. and a purple hair tie that you barely paid any mind to. on the nightstand, there was a framed picture of jaehyun with some girl you’d never seen.
it seemed like they were pretty close, all things considered. he had an arm wound tightly around her, and her head was resting on his shoulder. you weren’t jealous, especially considering he looked nearly a decade younger in the picture, and you instead found it cute that he looked so different and not at the same time. 
given the different trends at the time, his hair was in a completely different style. his cheeks were a little rounder. but he still had the same silly, goofy smile. 
realizing what you were doing was definitely a major invasion of privacy, you scurried out of there with your towels and headed back to your room to restock. 
jaehyun came knocking way too many hours later, but the second you heard, you leapt up, swinging the door open and throwing them around his shoulders. “what took you so long?” you asked sullenly. 
jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the abrupt display of affection, embracing you. “i decided to get everything done so that i could come straight to you, and didn’t have to leave.”
well, that made sense. when you pulled back, you noticed that he wasn’t in his uniform for a change. “this is my first time seeing you in normal person’s clothes. you look different. good different.”
“thanks, beautiful,” he replied, sticking his hands in his pockets. “may i come in?”
you stepped to the side, letting him enter, and shut the door behind him. 
jaehyun seemed amused when he noticed the television was on, showing some anthropology program he had never watched. “did i interrupt?”
it took you a second to realize what he meant, but when you did, you were all giggles. “no, you’re way more important.”
jaehyun was glad to hear that. “by the way, did you have fun sneaking into my room?”
the sudden accusation startled you, but you didn’t deny what you had done. he somehow clearly already knew that you’d nosed around, and you weren’t one to make excuses nor lie. “that was rude. i should’ve asked for your permission. i’m sorry.”
something about your sincerity made jaehyun smile and wave it off. “it’s fine. i don’t have anything to hide.”
either way, you still felt a little guilty. you wanted to ask him who that girl in the picture was, but you decided that you’d done enough snooping.
noticing the shame on your face, jaehyun beckoned you over, commanding, “come here.” and when you promptly did as told, he smoothed his fingers through your hair and reassured, “i told you, it’s fine. forget about it. now, talk to me.”
you melted into jaehyun’s touch, and forgave yourself, forgetting about what you had done, forgetting about all of the awful parts of your day that were no longer relevant now that you were comfortable in jaehyun’s arms.
minutes turned into hours before you were ready for them to, and you almost couldn’t believe how easily you had made a friend out of jaehyun. he was just so easy to talk to, getting you to confess about your less than happy past and chat about your hopes for the future like you were lifelong buddies.
and to your surprise, he made no attempt to try and sleep with you that night. it seemed that jaehyun was fully intent on getting to know you for the young woman that you were.
every now and then, you got the feeling that he was more into you than it was safe for him to be, and more than you could fathom him being so quickly, and knowing that you would be leaving soon, it crushed you. no part of you wanted to see his face when it was time to say goodbye.
but when you woke up the next day, you were smiling. jaehyun had slipped away, something about having errands to run unrelated to work, and you were counting down the seconds until he would come back. 
it was your last full day together.
the thought saddened and excited you all at once, overwhelming you to the core. you had convinced yourself that although jaehyun had made you feel something nobody else ever had, you would move on the second you got a step closer to bringing your dreams to fruition. but until then, you were a little heartbroken.
you had to be real with yourself for a second. could there be a way for a guy almost a decade older than you to be someone you spent the better half of your life with?
you didn’t think so. you and jaehyun led different lives. and while you hoped he would soon find the girl he had long dreamed of, you knew that she wasn’t you. 
who were you to keep him down, when he could be searching for her?
not to mention you weren’t even ready for such large of a commitment. you wanted to complete school and graduate, eight years of your life at least that you would be hard at work, studying your ass off. jaehyun struck you as the marriage and kids kind of boy, none of which you were prepared for.
he’ll be fine. you’re acting like he’s in love with you or something, you told yourself, sitting on your empty bed. there was no way someone as handsome as jaehyun hadn’t had his fair share of short-term flings.
at some point, you quickly became bored of waiting and decided to go on your phone, which you shockingly hadn’t been giving much attention lately. there were some texts from your friends, the only ones you had mentioned connecticut, and you promptly messaged them back. 
there weren’t any notifications from your family, but whether that was only because you blocked them or not, you didn’t know. 
then, you opened google and started to search random questions, as you often did when there was nothing more exhilarating to do. you had a couple of questions about toothbrushes, a word your friend had sent that you had never seen before, and finally, the motel itself.
you didn’t know why you hadn’t googled any information about it sooner. most likely because you didn’t think you would be welcomed for so long, but either way, it should’ve been one of the first things you’d done.
out of weary curiosity, you typed the name of the motel into your search engine, and the first thing you saw was a picture of the front exterior.
the next thing you saw, however, was a little more appalling. there was a news article from a little more than a month ago reporting the death of a girl named alyssa gardner.
rose creek, named in memory of rose bellori who was found there after being tragically murdered thirty-eight years ago, suffers another victims, says local police department. twenty-four year old alyssa gardner was found in the creek three weeks after being reported missing. her last known location prior to her murder was rose creek motel, according to her bank statements.
once you read the first sentence, you couldn’t stop, remembering what that old man had told you about the bodies that turned up in the creek. and as you continued to look into the murder, you froze, reading something about how she had last been wearing a purple hair tie.
there had been a purple hair tie in jaehyun’s room, you remembered, because it was on the table beside the snacks. it could have been a coincidence, but although his hair was long enough, you had never seen jaehyun tie up his hair.
now you had to know. there was a picture of alyssa wearing the tie and it was so specific, there was no way you wouldn’t know if they were the same just by looking. but you had no clue how you would get in there. after your invasion yesterday, there was no way jaehyun would reasonably make the mistake of leaving it open again, even if he claimed to have nothing to hide.
you slipped on your shoes, brainstorming on your way to the room, considering jaehyun wouldn’t have been back for a few hours, according to himself. your first thought was the guy at the front desk, but if he did do you a favor, he would want something in return that wasn’t cheap. nor were you selling.
fortunately, another man started to walk by, an employee, judging by his uniform. “excuse me, sir,” you said, donning your most helpless voice. “is there a way you could help me get in this room? i left my key inside by mistake.”
obviously believing you, the man said, “yeah, of course. i have a general key card right here.”
and just that easily, he opened the door for you. 
“thank you so much,” you told him, expressing your gratitude before closing the door to jaehyun’s room behind yourself. 
you felt bad for lying, but your gut was screaming at you right now and you were tempted to trust her now more than ever. you raced to the table, shoving the snack box out of the way, and gawking in horror when you found what you were looking for.
it was the purple hair tie, and not only was it the exact same color and design as you had seen in the picture, but there were traces of hair on it that didn’t match the dark color on jaehyun’s head.
you backed away, the blood freezing over in your veins. the shock was too cruel, too icy, and there were a billion thoughts racing through your mind. 
but at the forefront of them all, you were thinking, i’ve got to get the fuck out of here.
you stepped out of the room, clearing the hallway before you made a beeline for yours, making a call and shoving your things into your suitcase. you weren’t supposed to be leaving until tomorrow, but you figured it was in your best interest to escape before things had the opportunity to go wrong.
there was no time to think about how your judgment could have been so awful, because all you wanted to do was go far, far away from this place, where you would finally be safe from all the things in this world that wanted to hurt you.
the second your belongings were packed, you checked out at the front desk, noticing that the dude from yesterday was strangely no longer there, replaced by a woman you had never seen before. but you didn’t ask questions, didn’t press.
because the second you were free to go, you were dragging your suitcase to the road and praying that uber would get here before jaehyun could.
until you felt something cold pressing into your back, and every bone in your body went stiff. “leaving without saying goodbye?” asked a familiar voice, coming out of nowhere. 
tears began to sting your eyes, fear making your blood run cold. you couldn’t see him, but your whole body knew who it was. “please.”
“let’s take a walk,” jaehyun said nonchalantly, pointing with the hand that wasn’t discreetly holding a gun to your back.
given the circumstances, there was no way in hell that you wouldn’t do as told. you walked to the right of the motel with your suitcase in tow, far out of sight of any cameras that might’ve been privy to your predicament, willing yourself to breathe lest you fell apart then and there.
it had never been more of a struggle to walk, and it was like you had nearly forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other. your brain was hyper aware of the weapon not even an inch away from you.
through your blurry vision, you could make out a car coming into view. jaehyun asked, “do you have your license?” 
you nodded, afraid to speak. 
“good. this suitcase could’ve been you,” jaehyun said, taking the suitcase out of your hands to throw into the trunk. “you’re driving.”
you swallowed the lump in your throat. it terrified you how indifferent jaehyun seemed, walking you over to the driver’s side of the car and opening the door for you, meanwhile you looked as if you had seen a ghost.
only when he got in on the other side did he hand over the keys, still pointing the gun at you and calmly ordering, “drive. i’ll tell you where to go.”
and that was exactly what he did, telling you directions as you made every turn he told you to, not that there were very many.
every second was spent fighting tears and trying to keep your thoughts from racing. you could’ve never seen something like this coming. you had felt so safe, so secure around jaehyun, and now he was threatening you with a weapon.
god, you didn’t even want to think about what he was going to do to you. would he murder you in cold blood like that girl in the news article?
your first thought was to try and coax your way out of it. as if killers listened to logic and reasoning, outside of their own. “jaehyun, you don’t have to do this. you can let me go.”
jaehyun laughed, although you were dead serious. “so that you can go straight to the police? or worse, leave me here by myself?”
“it doesn’t have to be like that,” you whispered. “i like you a lot, jaehyun.”
“i like you a lot, too. that’s why i have to do this, darling.”
“i don’t understand.”
“i know,” jaehyun replied coolly. “it’ll all make sense soon.”
that statement didn’t make you feel any better. instead, you were enveloped by a deep feeling of cold dread, sensing that the worst had yet to come and you needed to brace yourself for the inevitable.
no more than thirty minutes of driving later, jaehyun told you to pull into the driveway of some house along the creek. you wanted to scream when he pulled you out of the car, but the house you were at was isolated from the rest of the world. nobody would have ever heard you even if the cry came from the very tip of your lungs.
but you noticed that he had left his gun in the car. 
you tried to break out of his grasp, but jaehyun was tremendously stronger than you, and he didn’t seem to like your actions much, hissing, “i don’t want to hurt you, but don’t think i won’t.”
no part of you believed that he didn’t want to hurt you, not even for a second. “let me go. i want to go home!”
“no, you don’t,” jaehyun shot back, tightening his clasp on your bicep. “you want to be anywhere but there. don’t act like i haven’t been doing you a favor.”
“don’t act like you know me,” you snapped, still trying to wrest your way out of his hold. 
jaehyun laughed, but it was mirthless. “honey, i do know you. you told me enough about you. i know what you like, and what you don’t like, and how vicious your parents are to you. i know that you don’t ever want to go back home.”
you didn’t know what was worse between being here right now and being home, and that thought made ache spring into your chest ravishingly. 
“i should’ve known you’d find out sooner than i’d hoped,” jaehyun said. “you’re a smart woman, but that’s one of the many things i love about you.”
tears continued to well your eyes, but they were angry now. “let go of me!”
jaehyun began to become exasperated, dragging you over to the edge of the creek, but you didn’t stop demanding to be freed, flailing and thrashing. 
not until you finally exclaimed, “if you’re going to kill me, then kill me already!”
to your surprise, that made jaehyun root in place for a moment or two. “i think you’re confused.”
you were glaring up at him. “wasn’t that your plan?”
for an unsettling amount of time, jaehyun just stared at you emptily. then, he began to laugh heartily, amused to no end. “now why on earth would i want to do that?” he asked.
you said nothing, startled and baffled altogether.
jaehyun smiled at you. the sight warmed your heart no more than a day ago, but now, you were thoroughly unnerved. “baby, you’re perfect. you’re everything i’ve ever wanted. you may be a little younger than i usually go for, but maybe that’s where i went wrong. with you, it’s not too late to fix the little things. like all this resistance.”
nothing could have prepared you for the sudden change in him, for him to throw you to the ground and submerge your head underneath the water of the creek.
it felt and sounded like the whole world had stopped for a moment before the panic started to settle in cruelly, and you inhaled more water than you had been prepared to. your body desperately missed air, and every time it tried to breathe, only more water entered your mouth. 
when jaehyun yanked you back up by your hair, you spat out a load of water, and began to cough. he asked, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing. you couldn’t at that point. 
jaehyun took it as defiance and lowered your head back underneath the water again, giving you no time to recover from the previous plunge, and your entire body fought against it, but your efforts were in vain. 
and like before, he pulled you up and asked, “learn your lesson?”
“fuck you,” you spat as belligerently as you could between breaths, even though it hurt to talk. 
jaehyun said nothing, throwing your head back down. 
at this point, your lungs were scorching and your nose was burning. your chest was smoldering with pain and panic and everything in between. helpless, your mind was begging for mercy, but the more you prayed for the water to escape, the more you inhaled.
your muscles were screaming for air and you genuinely thought that you were going to die, that this was the end. you would never know the life you had long dreamed of, the life you had risked everything to have, and the one you had always wanted.
it felt like an eternity had passed when jaehyun brought you back up to the surface and asked you again boredly, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing, spitting out more bursts of water and gasping for breaths that burned your throat.
jaehyun was about to submerge you again, but at the very last second, you blurted, “okay, okay! i’m sorry. i learned my lesson!”
“good,” jaehyun said, pulling you up and dusting his hands off. “let’s go inside.”
you didn’t dare disobey, letting him lead you inside the house, which you assumed he owned. there wasn’t any time to marvel at the sheer beauty of it before he was tugging you downstairs to the basement where there was already a mattress waiting for you. 
whether that had been prepared for you, or leftovers from the last victim, you didn’t want to know.
jaehyun took one look at your flushed, tear-stained face and softened. he brought a finger to your cheek, but you lurched away from him, like a startled animal in a cage. which, to be fair, wasn’t too far from the truth. 
he frowned. “i wish you didn’t have to be so nosy, baby. i didn’t want you to see me any differently than before.”
it’s too late for that, you huffed to yourself. you fell to the ground beside the mattress, hugging your knees.
jaehyun glanced down at you sighing, debating coming over to join you, but decided against it. for now. “but you don’t have to worry anymore. you’re safe with me. nothing can hurt you as long as i’m here. god, i’ve made sure of it. it angered me to no end when i saw that guy in the lobby flirting with you.”
you immediately remembered what had happened in that lobby, something you had been intent to mention to him but forgot, and the blood drained from your face. “what did you do to him?” you asked. 
“what do you think?”
you shook your head. no wonder there had been another person working the front desk earlier. you hugged your knees tighter and cried, “he was just some jerk, jaehyun. you didn’t need to kill him.”
“yes, i did. i would kill anyone who ever dare dreamed of touching you,” jaehyun insisted darkly.
now that you thought about it even harder, there was no reason for jaehyun to even know that that whole ordeal went down in the first place. he hadn’t been there when it happened. you slowly glanced up, asking, “how did you… know?”
jaehyun chuckled. “because i’ve been watching you, silly. how else?”
no shame, no guilt. he seemed proud of himself, grinning from ear to ear. the sight made you sick, but not as sick as it did to know that he had been essentially spying on you in his free time. you remembered, only a few days ago, asking him if the cameras were really functioning.
your stomach churned. that was why he always seemed to know where you were, to always drop into the places you were. that was how he knew you has been in his room, and how he knew you were fleeing.
even though you felt like vomiting the more information you learned, you needed to know the truth. “why did you kill that girl?”
“which one?” jaehyun asked, which made your heart stop in absolute terror. “if you’re talking about alyssa, i found out she was addicted to drugs. god, everything was going so smoothly until all of that.”
if you could’ve convinced yourself that you were only in a nightmare, you would have, but the pain in your chest and throat was too aggressive. “i bet you killed that girl in the picture too,” you replied hoarsely.
jaehyun’s eyes darkened, but it was less anger and more of a morose kind of emotion. “no, that’s not true. she died in a car accident.”
given the pain tensing his features, you believed him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to have any sympathy.
jaehyun continued, “we were eighteen and we had just graduated. she was the girl everyone wanted me to be with, and the one i thought would always be with. then one day, she was just gone. i’ll never forget getting that phone call in the middle of the night.”
the words he used made you remember something. you had asked him what his first time was like, and jaehyun had told you something along the lines of it being with someone he thought he would spend forever with.
that was her, the girl he had loved and lost. 
“i’m sorry you went through that,” you whispered, feeling as though you were obligated to console him in some way. 
“i am, too,” jaehyun mumbled. “but life goes on. and i found you. god, you don’t know how many times i had to go through this to find you, but it’s over now. you remind me of her a lot.”
you froze in your own skin, suddenly having an epiphany. you didn’t understand before, why jaehyun was doing all this, but it was all coming together now.
life may have moved on, but jaehyun had not. instead of getting over the girl he had lost so many years ago, he was trying to recreate her, to get her back in some sick, twisted way. you would be the vessel needed to resuscitate her, and the girls before you were the other candidates that didn’t meet the mark. 
he had told you that. not outright, but it was what he’d meant, and the confession went right over your head. so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.
jaehyun wasn’t killing girls out of some sadistic hatred. matter of fact, he didn’t even want to kill them, but he felt obligated to eliminate the unworthy. he was killing because they ultimately didn’t meet his standards.
which implied that someway, somehow, you did. as he put it, you were everything he’d ever wanted. 
“why me?” you asked, rubbing your eyes clear of tears.
jaehyun at last approached you, and although you wanted to back away and hide, there was nowhere for you to go. “easy. from what you’ve told me, you’re the black sheep of your family. you didn’t even tell them where you were going. nobody is going to look for you. nobody will miss you. you’re perfect.”
those words were crueler than he intended for them to be, but jaehyun wanted to be truthful with you, because that was the key to a long-lasting relationship. he wouldn’t hide from you, and he wouldn’t allow you to hide from him. you would be perfectly honest with each other.
“we’re going to have kids together someday,” jaehyun rambled, holding your cheeks in his hands gingerly, almost with affection. “i’m going to take you to meet my parents, and they’re going to love you, because i love you. and we’re going to stay in this house.”
you glanced around. “here?”
jaehyun sported a beaming smile. “it’s perfect, isn’t it? you love nature, and we’ll live right here along the creek. it’ll be just like how you grew up, except you’ll be accepted here.”
perfect, you repeated in your head bitterly. jaehyun seemed to be as obsessed with that word as he was with you. he couldn’t stop saying it, and that revealed even more about his intentions the more he used it.
noticing the tension in your face, jaehyun squeezed your hand and tried to console you. “don’t worry, i’m not going to keep you from your dreams. but you’re going to stay in this basement until you understand that you belong to me, and i belong to you.”
“i’m not your fucking property,” you hissed with unadulterated vitriol.
obviously, jaehyun was growing exhausted of having to put up with your less than meek behavior, and before you could apologize, he hauled you up and tossed you onto the bed. you made a tiny, broken noise when he began to squeeze your throat instead. “i will whip you into shape if i have to,” jaehyun growled. “i will fuck you into shape, everyday, if that’s what it takes, dear. i already made up my mind. you’re mine and i won’t let anyone else have you.”
your throat still ached from the pain of nearly drowning three times over, sorely pleading for quiet remorse, but jaehyun was nothing short of committed. he would stop at nothing to bend you into submission, no matter the price needed, because when he wanted something enough, there was nobody that could tell him that it wasn’t his for the reaping.
not his parents, not you, not anyone.
true to his word, jaehyun began to force one his hands underneath your pleaded skirt. he liked that you wore them, initially because he found them strangely cute on you, but now because of the easy access he had to everything he wanted.
you thrashed again enervatedly, sore from head to toe, but you told yourself endlessly that you weren’t a quitter. you couldn’t let him break you, not until he had broken all the fight out of you first. it would go against everything you stood for, everything you believed.
“behave,” jaehyun said. “behave, or you’ll only make it worse on yourself.”
you roared expletives into his palm that jaehyun couldn’t understand, nor did he bother to. not after he had caught a glimpse of your precious cunt and he had already begun to imagine making sweet love to you. the lingering picture was all he could think of.
how you had gripped his biceps, brows tensing together, calling out his name and his name only. jaehyun knew you reciprocated his pining. he had seen the proof, felt it dripping and pulsing around his cock, milking his release out of him even quicker than he had hoped.
and really, honestly, jaehyun didn’t want to hurt you or cause you any needless pain. one day, you would understand that he was only doing this from of a place of love and endearment. you gasped for breath when the hand on your throat finally slackened, sucking in the sharpest one you had ever inhaled, and could feel the basement reeling.
while you were busy blinking the misty daze out of your eyes, jaehyun ran a hand between your legs, touching your clit. “jaehyun, stop,” you rasped. 
“shh, let me make you feel good,” jaehyun crooned softly in your ear. 
it was maddening that your body still reacted fondly to his deep voice and tender touches, and you hated every second of it. you resisted him, pressing your thighs together, but it took little to nothing for jaehyun to spread them apart again, and your body naturally liked his strength, too. 
still, you tried to swat his hand away. now that you knew the truth of who he was really was, what he really was, you couldn’t stand to let a monster like jaehyun to touch you. 
jaehyun sighed irritably, and the look on his face made you shudder. “you’re just going to keep being a bitch about it, aren’t you?”
he only wanted to pleasure you, for fuck’s sake. why wouldn’t you let him?
“i don’t want this,” you whimpered, peering up at jaehyun as you welled up with tears. 
“yes, you do,” jaehyun told you, as if he was trying to convince you of something you already knew wasn’t true. “you do want it. remember?”
you shook your head, defiant. “that was before. it’s different now.”
“nothing has changed between us.” 
“everything has changed!” you cried out, bursting into sobs. “you’re not who i thought you were. you… hurt me.”
“i didn’t want to. i promise that i didn’t, honey,” jaehyun whispered, pressing his lips to your forehead. “and the sooner you listen to me, the sooner i can make you feel better.”
he started to do exactly that, returning between your legs, this time sticking his face beneath your skirt. jaehyun went to town, pulling out all the stops that he remembered had you singing his praises. 
not a moment later, you slumped in defeat, too weak from your unwanted orgasm to deny him any longer. jaehyun smirked when he noticed you twitching from the aftershocks, licking his wet lips that had gotten soaked with your arousal.
“that’s it, baby,” jaehyun said, proud of himself. he liked worshiping you, and even if you didn’t want to admit it, he knew he brought you to elysian heights. “ready to take my cock?”
you shook your head wearily, but jaehyun didn’t believe you. only the day before yesterday, you had been so eager.
“come on, don’t be that way. you know you love this dick,” jaehyun said. he had never looked more sure of himself, not hesitating to step out of his clothes.
although you wanted nothing more than to defy him, to spring up and make a beeline for the nearest door, you couldn’t bring yourself to. there wasn’t even time for you to tell him to stop before jaehyun was spreading you open, prodding your entrance with the head of his cock.
and you were so wet that in spite of his size, he slipped inside with ease.
jaehyun grunted at the first push of his cock inside you, slowly coaxing his way deeper. he slipped his fingers through yours, knowing that you liked to use his hand to anchor yourself because you quickly got overwhelmed by his size.
but he noticed that each time you were taking him even better, and jaehyun liked the thought of successfully breaking you in. to him, it was the perfect fit. it was a sign that you were made for him to fuck and breed. your vice-like walls were gushing around him, kneading him, swallowing him whole. only him.
“that’s good, baby. don’t run from it,” jaehyun crooned in your ears before sealing your lips together.
jaehyun didn’t notice that you weren’t kissing him back. when his eyes were closed and he was buried some inches deep inside your pussy, it became easier to convince himself anything. because you may have denied him, but jaehyun thought the body never lied, and yours was calling out to him. 
the weight of your body rocked in tandem with his thrusts and jaehyun, wanting a better view of you, started to tug your shirt off. he already knew how to make you weak for him, sucking at your breasts.
every cry of protest you made fell on deaf ears, because all jaehyun heard was that familiar breathlessness in your voice when he was making you feel good. 
and that was more than enough to jaehyun. because if he had you, and you had him, nothing else mattered. why would you need some other guy in some faraway place when he had made you feel things you never knew you were even capable of?
he never even thought about how of those feelings he had plucked out of you, something could’ve completely overpowered anything pleasant feelings you ever had.
it surprised you when jaehyun grinded to a halt and pulled out of you, but you should’ve known better than to think he was finished. “get on top of me,” jaehyun told you, overcome by memories. “i want you to ride me. like how you rode me that day.”
jaehyun had this dazed look in his eyes that made him look more dangerous and unhinged than he ever had, and that was the sole reason you were so quick to scramble on top of him, but jaehyun smiled, because he only saw it as unadulterated desire.
you grabbed his shoulders as you forced yourself to mount him, his hands slipping down to your backside, supporting you with his palms. it hadn’t been too long since they were someplace you could feel secure for the first time in a long while. and now that comfort was gone, and you had nowhere else to go, nothing else to turn to but yourself.
maybe you had been naive to think that someone could genuinely, truthfully like you. whatever jaehyun felt for you, or at least thought that he did, was purebred obsession and without it there would be nothing left. 
it was the one thing keeping you breathing, and yet the one thing killing you slowly.
something wet dripped onto the pillar of jaehyun’s shoulder and he saw that you were sobbing. tears of pleasure, he told himself. he remembered the wet glaze in your stare when the two of you had fucked the other day, too. nothing as theatrical as this, though he was certain it didn’t make a difference. 
but jaehyun wasn’t afraid to hurt you, that much was clear. he may not have particularly liked it anymore than you did, but he would use it to justify everything. it’s okay if it hurts, because love hurts, he would console himself, telling himself that you would be okay.
“one day you’ll understand that i’m doing this because i want what’s best for us,” jaehyun whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “i’ll make you happy every day until you die. anything you could ever want, i’ll make it happen, i promise.”
the way he spoke, you knew that he believed it in his very bones, and that only made it scarier. someway, somehow, jaehyun had convinced himself that you were god walking, and now you weren’t sure what lengths he wouldn’t go to for your sake. 
tenderly kissing your jaw, jaehyun continued, “i love you.”
you shook your head, knowing that it wasn’t true. “you can’t love me, jaehyun. it’s only been five days.”
jaehyun disagreed. he thought he had loved you from the second he laid eyes on you, a beautiful girl ambling along the creek line. he could smell your sweet scent on him and it made him remember catching you in his arms, pulling you close, and breathing you in for the first time. “i loved you long before i met you. you may not feel it right now, but you will soon. i’ll make sure of it.”
you exhaled a breath. there was no arguing with a mad man.
“i’ll make sure you’ll never want to live without me again,” jaehyun whispered, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “that you can’t live without me.”
all you wanted was to get away from him. you were wishing you would’ve never came here, never gave him or this godforsaken place the time of day.
jaehyun was nearing the threshold of what he could take and it was plain on his face. you weren’t fucking yourself on him with the same amount of fervor as you had in the none too distant past, but he was too close to the edge to complain, driving his hips upwards into yours.
he was no longer listening to the pleas falling from between your lips, imagining that you were begging for him never to stop, never to let go of you. because he knew that deep down, that was what you wanted. you would get over these temporary, tiny frustrations. the same way he had gotten over them over and over.
did you think it was all fun and games for him? if you knew how many times he had been crushed and disappointed, how many times he had to let of something he wanted more than anything, you would finally understand that there nobody who understood you more than jaehyun.
in a way, you were completing each other. he would give you the family you needed, and you would give him the relationship he always wanted.
“jaehyun, you have to pull out,” you said to him, remembering he had gone in without a condom. “you have to…”
“shh,” jaehyun shushed you, pressing your back to the mattress again, and seizing control.
when you tried to speak, jaehyun just clamped his hand over your mouth to keep you silent and pliant, wanting to hear none of it. “didn’t i tell you? we’re going to build a family together, right here in this house.”
there was total, chaotic horror in your eyes. you hadn’t thought he meant so soon, so quickly. you were barely an adult and still sometimes felt like a child yourself, and you tried to tell him as much, but every word bled together and died on his palm.
with a few more unrelenting smacks of his hips into yours, jaehyun leaned over and clamped his teeth into your shoulder as he came. and when he stilled, he kissed you, ignoring the taste of tears that had ran onto your lips.
“it’ll always be you and me now,” he panted, breathless. “you can’t leave me. you can’t.”
you lay there, helpless and hopeless, feeling something like bile scorching up your throat as you stared at him in disbelief.
“i’ll fuck you every day, i will,” jaehyun said with every bit of conviction. “if it means that one of those days, i put a baby in you.”
there was nothing that you could say that your face wasn’t already saying for you. never in your life had you felt more used and violated, and that said a lot. 
and jaehyun didn’t seem to be bothered. he lay down beside your shaking body, tightening his arms around you, loving the way the layers of sweat made you stick to each other, and made you a dirty promise. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of you both,” he said. “i swear.”
you closed your eyes, screaming inside your head, but having none of the strength to really do it. he had stolen it from you, stolen everything from you. your body wasn’t your own anymore.
“say it,” jaehyun prompted, nibbling gently at your neck. “say you love me.”
you didn’t, and there wasn’t a single bone in your body that did, but jaehyun terrified you now. this would haunt you more than the gun pressed to your back, or the throwing your head underwater. compared to now, those things seemed mild.
so you sucked in a breath, trying to will yourself to stay still even though there was no possible way with how close he was to you, and you lied, “i love you.”
jaehyun grinned from ear to ear. “i know.”
486 notes · View notes
wandasfifthwife · 2 days
Text
such a bad girl ₊✩°。⋆˚ ⁺
— wandanat x fem/afab!reader
༺ tw || SMUT MDNI, hot tub sex, dom!wandnat, sub!reader, top!wandanat, bottom!reader, threesome, making out in a moving car, mean dom!wanda for a minute, degration/praise, dom/sub relationship, reader is described to be wearing a scandalous bathing suit that’s easy for them to undo, mention that W has a glass of wine (no drinking description), r’s neediness changes her shy personality, fingering (v & anal ; r receiving), mention of oral if you squint, exhibition kink if you squint, grinding, orgasm denial, NOT PROOFREAD
༺ a/n || I’ve never personally been in a dom/sub relationship, so if I get things wrong that’s why! If you’re getting into one— don’t use this as a guide/reference
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— 🌷masterlist ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊ 3.9k words₊✩°。⋆˚ ⁺ next part 🌻—
Their text coming in during your long shift was a savior because if not for it you would’ve collapsed. None of your designs were accepted. Each time it got rejected you felt your motivation slip from you, the negative tension in the building getting to you. That was until Natasha’s contact information came in. It was as simple as ever, but it made you smile. The text read, “pack a small suitcase and meet us at our apartment at 7PM.”
It sparked an interest in you to do your best despite the recurring turn out. The knowledge of a weekend trip with them was exciting, providing you with a sense of purpose to finish the day well. You pulled your suitcase out of hiding after arriving home, stuffing in whatever clothes looked most appealing.
Your phone then dings, home screen lighting up to show her second text reading, “pack a swimsuit.”
At the time you didn’t think much of it, packing whichever one was at the top and throwing it almost the other strewn together outfits. Once it was reaching the edges you shut it, dragging it behind you. Natasha was the first to see you, smiling up at you when you enter into their apartment room.
“Hi kitten—how was work?”
“Oh, it was fine,” you slide your shoes off, “where’s Wanda?”
“Working in our bedroom.”
Her words have you looking over to their room, finding the skinny white door shut. She pats the seat beside her on the couch, adjusting the laptop on her lap for you to see.
“Wanda has an event in the mountains and during her time there they’re paying for her stay at this cabin.”
Natasha flips through the pictures, stoping when you point out the hot tub, “is that why you asked me to bring a swimsuit?”
“Might as well take advantage of it seeing as we get it all to ourselves for a day.”
“How far is it?”
“About a two hour, thirty minute drive. I’ll be driving a majority of the time since Wanda will have to work.”
She shuts her laptop, setting it aside so she can guide you to lay your head on her lap. You shiver at the feeling of her fingers moving lightly around your neck, drawing chills down your back.
“Wanda has an important call to take during our drive—you’ll need to stay quiet for her, understand?”
“Okay.”
When she doesn’t say anything after you fear you’ve upset her. You crane your neck to look at her, finding her eyes set on yours. The expression on her face tells you what’s going unsaid.
“Okay, daddy.”
She hums, leaning to press a kiss to your lips. Neither of you wish to pull away after, enjoying the small moment of intimacy. Any chance to deepen the kiss flies out the window when Wanda returns.
She looks to her watch, “we have to leave now if we want to make it to the cabin before sundown.”
She greets you both with a quick kiss as she works to remove her work coat.
“Did you pack everything you need?”
“Yes,” you point to the corner of the room where your suitcase lies, “I packed everything you asked me to.”
Ans you had, everything that lied packed away in the suitcase was what they asked for you to bring. Everything was, but you’re unsure about the specific contents of the items mentioned—such as your bathing suit. You’re excited as well as nervous to see their reactions if you ever end up utilizing the hot tub.
Natasha took both hers and your suitcase to the car, denying you any chance of carrying it yourself. The garage is connected to their apartment complex. It’s a public garage, each spot set to each individual resident. Their car was left on third floor, to the right of the elevator.
“Where do you want me for the drive?”
Wanda looks up from her phone momentarily, “uh—I prefer it if you sit up front so I can set up in the back. I need to use the charging ports.”
Once Natasha’s finished putting the suitcases in the back she slides in the drivers seat. Her hand lies behind your seat so she can look behind, helping her back the car out from the spot.
“My meeting isn’t until four thirty. Once it’s over I’ll verbally say when you can begin to speak again,” Wanda says from the back, sounds of the keyboard clicking as she gets situated.
“How’re you feeling,” Natasha asks her, looking back at her through the rearview mirror.
“I honestly just want this to be over with, this company has miserable employees. Anything I send out they never respond until days later and then they blame us for the problems they’ve been coming up.”
“I’m sorry, that sounds rough,” you add.
“Not your fault,” she gives you a short smile.
Natasha makes short conversation with you, asking about random things and laughing at some of your answers. You keep looking back at Wanda, feeling guilty about the way her eyebrows are furrowed.
“Is there any way I can help you?”
“No,” she sighs, “I’m sorry, I’ll be a lot better tonight once everything is over.”
“Don’t apologize. I just wanted to ask, see if I can help in some way.”
Through the mirror the two make eye contact, one that you can’t decipher. It was too quick for you to come to terms with what was being discussed.
Thirty minutes pass, the countdown until her call coming closer and now is only twenty minutes away. Natasha’s pulled to get gas, wanting to fill up and not stop once you’ve reached the cabin. It was right after she had shut the door that Wanda had begun to speak again.
“Come sit in the back with me.”
It was simple enough. It’s only an invite to come sit with her, but you highly doubt it’s to cuddle. You grow nervous, glancing around at the people wondering about at the gas station. The gas station is large enough, decent amount of distance between each pump, but there were still people. You’re still in public.
“I—Wanda.”
“Wasn’t a question.”
You’re climbing out immediately, avoiding eye contact with anyone who may look over at you. Nothings happened but already you feel like it has, you feel that others could sense the tension arise and how your body’s burning with need.
You sit in the seat by her, separated by the drink console. Her laptop is set on top, the console being used as a makeshift table.
“Look at me,” she says, only continuing after you do, “do you think I want you to sit there?”
“Uh—no, sorry.”
“Then fix your mistake.”
She makes no effort to help and doesn’t look remotely concerned when you have to slide out of the car again to climb in where she’s seated. It’s uncomfortable at first, but you find a comfortable position straddled over her thighs, facing her. It’s a small fit, the positioning forcing you to be pressed up against her body. All it’s done is make you warmer, the heat between your legs growing as you eagerly wait.
“I don’t want a single sound from you,” is all the warning she gives as she begins to pull up the work call. It’s on zoom, and you begin to panic about the video screen.
“Wands, they’ll see—“
“They won’t see,” she says, turning her screen off, “but they can hear. Can you be a good girl for mommy and be quiet?”
You nod and she’s surging forward to connect her lips to yours. Her hands are under your thighs, using her grip to pull you closer onto herself. Wanda’s lips are smooth when brushing against yours, feeling better each time they come back against yours.
A breathy moan escapes when she flicks her tongue against yours, eyes open and set on you. It’s the only sound she allows from you as each one following earns a pinch to your thigh. You wonder if she’s paying any attention to the call seeing as she’s working her way around intentionally to make you squirm.
“—agreed. And Wanda do you have anything to add, you’ve been mighty quiet.”
The call goes silent, everyone shown to be focusing in on her screen for a response. Instead of responding she’s hiking your shirt up, lips glossing over the soft spot on your neck. There’s an attempt made to pull her back to reality, that being tugging at her shirt but it’s misunderstood. She takes it as continue, too far consumed with you to care about some boring work meeting. It wouldn’t go anywhere if she replied, so instead she’s putting in the effort on you—enjoying the way you try and hold back your sounds while the call’s still silent and waiting for Wanda’s reply.
“If you dont reply in the next five seconds we’ll be moving forward,” he says, but her attention is still fixated on you.
She continues her ministrations, playing mind games that get you heated but do not satisfy you. All of Wanda’s needs are met with your quieted reactions—pulling at her hair, gasping into her mouth, grinding your hips down on her thigh for some friction.
“Okay, moving on now—we have a short time together so I hope to see you at each event scheduled while we’re here.”
You’re incredibly thankful the call ends there because if not they would’ve all heard your choked moans—what’s worse is the screen would’ve showed Wanda’s in the middle exposing her. Yet it didn’t happen, you were safe now to whine when she rubs you back and forth on her leg, fingers teasing around your nipples from where they lie under your t-shirt.
Once she realizes the calls ended, she stops everything, pulling back to check her phone. She leaves you sitting on her lap, needy and waiting.
“Don’t be a brat,” she sighs, not looking up from her phone, “I never said I’d get you off.”
She clicks her tongue when you look back at Natasha for sympathy, her fingers gripping your chin and pulling you back to face her.
“She’s not going to do anything because she knows you’re in the wrong. I’ll repeat it again so your little dumb mind can understand—I never said I’d get you off.”
This side of her isn’t helping the heat burning within you, setting a blaze in how harshly she’s treating you. Shes right, and it’s turning your thoughts into nothing.
“Darling,” she says, tapping your cheek with her finger, “how’re you feeling?”
“Good—I’m good.”
She smiles at your confirmation before returning to where she was a second ago. You make a sound of protest when you feel her adjust you on her lap, motioning for you to slide into the seat beside her.
“Sit here and be a good girl for us until we arrive at the cabin.”
“But that’s so long.”
“If you continue to act up I’ll extend it until next week.”
You shut up. The sound of the AC whirring about and the smoothness of the car running lulls you to sleep, head resting against the window. It’s a deep sleep you realize once you’ve awoken to spot the red marks lining your arms. Wanda’s the one who wakes you up with a hand resting on your arm, rubbing the skin softly until she sees you stir.
“We’ve already brought your stuff inside,” she starts, slowing when she notices the slowness in your movements, “wanna be picked up?”
She laughs when you confirm your needs. Natasha comes behind the two of you to shut the front door, asking Wanda about her schedule for the rest of the day.
“There’s really only two today that are mandatory, every other one I can skip. With the others present on this trip, I’d rather stay here.”
Natasha hums, coming by to kiss Wanda quickly, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she says, laying you down on the bed, “it’s a part of life, can’t avoid stupid people.”
“Am I stupid,” you ask, eyes half open and blearily looking at her, “you called me stupid earlier—so mean.”
“You’re such a tease,” she leans to slap your thigh, smile widening at the sight of you moving away with a laugh.
Natasha sits beside you, watching Wanda wonder about the room. You’re still half asleep beside her, looking around the room but always trailing back to the two of them as they discuss a plan. So far it seems you’ll be staying at the cabin with Natasha until Wanda returns, then dinner, and then you have plans to relax here.
“I do have to leave now, but I’ll be back once it’s all over. I’ll send you a text,” is the last thing she says before the front door shuts.
You hear the sheets rustle, feeling Natasha get up. She hears you whine her name out, fingers still holding onto her wrist.
“Sorry,” she kisses your wrist before removing it, “I’m on strike with you too until she’s back.”
“She doesn’t have to know.”
“Still no.”
You groan, sliding off the bed and following suit, “then why, I’m-“
“Don’t care what you are. I’m also in charge,” she starts, rolling your suitcase a short way until it’s in front of you, “take this to our bedroom.”
She points you with a look when you cross your arms, standing stubbornly in your spot.
“Please take it to our room, I’m not doing anything in return. Either that, or I’m moving it to a week.”
“Just wanted a kiss.”
She looks suspicious, but leans in close despite it. She falls for you easily, both of you finding yourself pressing each other up against the corridor’s wall. The wall’s texture is almost engraved into your back with how close she is to you, breasts pressing against yours. You’re growing dizzy, tilting your head to kiss deeper. It’s when you moan that she’s moving back, slowing her movements.
“No!—daddy please, I’m so needy.”
“Later.”
She walks away, something she continues to do for the remainder of your time. You do spend some time together like making a late lunch and cuddling on the couch as Natasha reads a few emails.
The sun’s falling on the horizon when Wanda returns, flinging her high heels off, “sorry, I know I said I’d be here earlier. Have you guys had dinner yet? I already had gone ahead with the team and got some.”
“We made a late lunch, we’re fine,” Natasha responds from the living room. You remove yourself from her hold to find Wanda, hugging around her waist.
“Hi Kitten,” she mumbles against your skin, “how was your one on one time with Natasha?”
“Rude.”
“I’m not rude for sticking to a rule.”
Wanda coos, “needy still?”
Natasha responds for you, listing off your attempts at getting the attention you crave. From how it started in the corridor to where it ended in the kitchen, Natasha settled between your thighs. By now you’re dying, wishing for it to be over and for the two to cave in and sooth the ever growing need.
They don’t give any answer as to when, leaving you to be good despite such a vague answer.
What you hope to happen is a small miracle. There’s a reaction you wish to spark out of the two of them with an outfit packed away in your suitcase. You’re almost in your knees hoping it works. It wasn’t the original plan, the outfit originally was a last minute throw in but now it may be your saving grace. Twenty minutes have passed since Wanda’s arrival, and you’re growing restless. You feel greedy, bad almost to interrupt the two of them but the need has consumed almost every other thought, thighs rubbing against each other after being edged for hours.
The slightest thing is a trigger. Their hand resting on your thigh, seeing the two kiss lovingly, or noticing how the top buttons to Wanda’s blouse has been unbuttoned. It’s entirely possible that they notice the cloudiness in your eyes, your lust for them showing else than your thighs moving against one another.
“Mommy,” you whine, surprised the plea came out loud enough, “can we go in the hot tub?”
“Do you need help getting ready?”
Oh they know about how you’re feeling. The sympathetic expression and tone is welcoming, but it’s not what you’re looking for.
“No,” you state, getting up on shaky legs.
In the zipper compartment you find the swim suit you packed earlier in the day. The fabric left almost nothing to the imagination. It was small, showing more skin than necessary. Originally the outfit was bought with your friend years ago for a trip and since then you’ve not pulled it out as you felt it was too much for most pubic places. But tonight at a private cabin was perfect.
You slide the glass door, stepping out onto the back patio. The wind outside was a tad cold. You tried to warm up by wrapping your arms around the top half of your body. Wanda and Natasha had yet to come out, and you wondered momentarily where they were as you sunk down into the hot water. You sighed once inside, closing your eyes and letting your muscles relax. There were crickets in the back making an appearance.
It was dark save for the white lights in the hot tub, the glow reflecting on the roof above and creating a fun shaky pattern.
“You got ready fast,” Natasha states, keeping the sliding door open for Wanda, “how’s it feel?”
“Amazing.”
She makes her way in, moving at a quicker speed than you had been. After the water has reached past her shoulders, she stands to reach for her phone set on the side of the hot tub. You can’t help the way you watch her, eyes following the water droplet as it trails down her neck and between her breasts. It’s entirely attractive, reeling you over the edge.
“‘tasha.”
She hums, looking over from her phone when you’ve gone quiet. What she finds is a mess, eyes darkened and chest heaving air in. The moving jets create enough conflict in the water, the bubbles hiding the swim suit you have on. You’re just above the water for her to already notice how far down your swimsuit goes, cleavage already on show for her.
“Fuck what’re you wearing?”
“Why don’t you come over here and find out.”
Her eyes come to match yours. She’s shutting her phone off, moving towards you. With how you’re sitting she’s towering over you, using it to her advantage when she leans down to connect her lips with yours. You’re moving to lock your arms around her neck, hoping with every part of you that she’ll stay this time till the end. Her fingers trail down your chest, feeling until they bump against the small cloth covering your nipples.
“Could’ve just walked out naked,” she says, slipping it off you and pinching at your hardened buds. You gasp, chest pushing into her. Your movement exposes your neck, giving her room to press featherlight kisses.
“Please—I can’t wait anymore.”
“Need me?”
“Obviously,” you state, wincing after from the pinch she lands on your thigh.
“So mean. Who knew you had this in you.”
She shuts you up when she moves to kiss you breathlessly again. You could kiss her all day and never grow tired of the action, each time she does you feel you’re being poisoned with need. You’re pressing back harder each time until she’s grown tired of your attacks and completely takes over.
Wanda follows about later, closing the door with a huff, “you both let a few moths in.”
There’s a moment of realization. The wet sounds and gasps, also the image reflecting in the door all bring her to turn around and witness it in real time. She had been too focused on not spilling her wine she glazed over how the two of you were connected, wrapped in each other.
She sets her glass down on a table, rounding the hot tub to sit behind you. The wooden floor of the patio is cold, but it’s bearable with the bit of hot water splashed out from the tub due to the two of you. You gasp in Natasha’s mouth when she lifts you up, sitting you on the edge of the hot tub.
It’s overwhelming feeling the both of them touch you. Natasha’s hands slipping under your bottoms to push them off, Wanda spreading you open. You fluster, hands moving to cover yourself. Natasha shushes you, gentle removing your hands.
“You’re beautiful,“ is all she says, eyes focusing in on your cunt. It’s drenched, but it’s hard to tell seeing as you were just lying in the tub a second ago.
You’re resting back on Wanda’s chest, legs resting on either side of Wanda’s thighs. Your bathing suit top rests lazily on you, clothes moved to the side so both can see how puffy Natasha’s sucked and rubbed the skin.
Wanda leans in close to your ear, “what do you need.”
“You, both of you—”
“How?”
“Don’t care, please—oh!”
Natasha takes the ‘don’t care’ literally, finger moving to press and rub against your clit. After hours of being stimulated, just a bit of friction brings you into your heavy mindset. Natasha runs her fingers around your puffy lips, gathering the wetness there and pushing it up against your clit again. She draws her finger lower, confusing you for a second until it circles your other hole.
“Fuck wait—!”
It’s too late, her finger’s already pushing through. The size of her single finger already provided such a stretch. She wiggles it around, eyes entranced by how you pull her in.
“When did you last finger yourself here?”
You look at her, eyes teary and almost feeling guilty, “last night.”
She hums, already moving cleared with adding another finger. You take it easy, hole wrapping around her fingers. Wanda’s moving her left hand, fingers reaching your wet cunt to draw the wetness onto your clit, circling it to provide a stronger sense of pleasure as Natasha continues her ministrations.
You’re flinging your head back on Wanda’s shoulder, gasping, “ah! Oh—please! please!”
Wanda’s hesitant, fingers hovering over your entrance until you nod. The second hers slide in, the pleasure is melting you into the floor. Nothing but how good they’re making you feel flooding your mind. They both have two fingers in, pressing in hard and fast. You’re gripping Wanda’s hand, broken ‘ahs’ spilling from you with each deep thrust.
“Ah-ah! Feel so good, ah!”
“Needy slut,“ Natasha mumbles, pressing her fingers up so they collide slightly with Wanda’s.
They don’t string you high this time, leaving you alone with your near-orgasm. Wanda’s finger is moving fast, the added rubbing brings you to your orgasm faster. It was sudden, two thrusts later and you’re wetting their hands until it drips into the water below.
You pant, fingernails still digging into Wanda’s wrist as you come down from your first high of the night. Wanda’s frustration from work leads her to fuck you mercilessly in the shower after, energy and lust on similar levels to you. Natasha’s since passed out, snores sounding from her in the bedroom when you and Wanda creep back in.
“Moving forward, I’m adding a rule—in the morning we can confirm with Natasha if she wants to make a dual rule,” she whispers, chills appearing in your body from how gentle she rubs your shoulders.
“What is it?”
“Can’t touch yourself without our permission.”
“I didn’t do that today?”
“No, but it wasn’t specified so at the time you could’ve but you chose to be good and listen and wait.”
“Because I only want you, only you satisfy me.”
— 🌷masterlist ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊ taglist below₊✩°。⋆˚ ⁺ next part🌻 —
@simpforlizzie @maggieromanov @angelbeingatitspurest @cerberus-spectre @olicity-boo @huggingkoalas @wandasbunnyy @babykingslayer @marigoldenblooms @godhatesgoodgirls @evmaximoff @tobiaslut @lzzysfreak @caporaI-nino @mommysfavouritegirl @gemz5 @dorabledewdroop @foxherder @madamevirgo @natashaswife4125 @peaceitsnaee @radcherryblossompainter @sagesayshi
408 notes · View notes
harmoonix · 15 hours
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𓆩♡𓆪 𝔾𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕤 II 𓆩♡𓆪
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~ This time ya gonna see how we do it like that ~ ──────────────────────────────
𓆩♡𓆪 Sagittarius Sun, Mars, Venus or Mercury will make you such a sassy person, literally "savage" the definition of these placements
𓆩♡𓆪 When you have Mars aspecting the Midheaven people will see you as a competition, they'll try to compete with you
𓆩♡𓆪 Cancer Mars and Moon can have issues with understanding their feelings, but that doesn't stop them from expressing themselves and getting better
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We're wide awake now, our eyes are wide open
We're running this world, we keeping it turning
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𓆩♡𓆪 Aries and Aquarius Lilith are 2 rebellious forces of nature, Lilith may act like she needs to change something in herself here, it can be in her personality
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in the same house as Lilith or conjuncting Lilith can be a dangerous placement because Lilith here won't listen to anybody and will do her own thing. She can feel chained up
𓆩♡𓆪 The aura a Capricorn gives is always dark, I love how Capricorn can resemble the dark "goat", Capricorn always gave Maleficent vibes especially when it comes to being ambitious
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𓆩♡𓆪 Mercury/Gemini in the 5H can make you to be attracted be multiple people or to have more crushes, doesn't always have to be a relationship
𓆩♡𓆪 Leo Sun, Risings and Venus are the embodiment of a queen, for some reason I always think of Cleopatra of Egypt everytime I think about Leo placements ( Leo Venus gives highly Bastet vibes)
𓆩♡𓆪 If you have a "yang" moon sign like air or fire signs and you have Pluto aspecting the Moon, the aspects will make your moon to act more dark/misterious than already it is
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in Gemini/3rd house will tend to talk more harshly if they're feeling threatened by a person, especially if they want to call that person out for something
𓆩♡𓆪 Everytime I see someone trying to look for a "loyal relationship" I always think they must have Saturn - Venus aspects or Saturn in Libra or Saturn in the 5H or 7H!! major loyal relationship vibes
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in Leo. I love this placement but its bad trait can be that, they love the attention and if they don't get it. These natives can get mad or just annoyed about it
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in Scorpio or in the 8H talks about a major want or "need" for feeling comfortable with their intimacy or sexuality, they just want to feel good and protected in the same time
𓆩♡𓆪 Virgo Moons aspected by Lilith can act "unholy" which can indicate being more critical than usual maybe more strict even with yourself, is important to give yourself peace of mind
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Sirene (1009) aspecting Saturn can make you to be more attracted in older people than you, sexually, romantically etc
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𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Sirene (1009) aspecting the Sun will Influence the native to be more aware of their personality and aura, like you know how attractive and beautiful you can be
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Cancer/4H or Cancer Degrees 4°, 16°, 28° will mostly attract a partner who will be a familist/a person who puts family over everything/traditional spouse too
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Virgo/6H or Virgo Degrees 6°, 18° will mostly attract a very hardworking spouse, someone will know how important the "devotion" to the world
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We're living like giants
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𓆩♡𓆪 People don't talk enough about how Mars - Jupiter and Venus - Jupiter aspects can make you horny 24/7, not gonna lie their sexual hormones are crazy
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in Gemini or the 3rd house natives will find themselves constantly pushed into situations where the need to have good communication skills will become apparent
𓆩♡𓆪 Gemini Risings are remarcabile in making themselves socially liked by others, I admire their social skills and their friendship commitment
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in the 1st/10th and 6th house are big glow up placements, for yourself, career and even your mental health
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Libra/7H/ or at 7°, 19° degrees, can we talk a bit about how romantic these placements are?? Eros is getting into "addicted" phase here and is just so in love with everything
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𓆩♡𓆪 Venus in Virgo/Venus in the 6th or Venus at 6°. 18° degrees can have quality time and acts of service as their love languages and they're honestly trying their best at making people feeling seen and comforted
𓆩♡𓆪 Neptune/Jupiter/Uranus in the 1st house can he gifted with spiritual gifts, they're usually much more spiritual than other people even since from childhood
𓆩♡𓆪 People don't talk enough about how Moon in the 9th house can make you tied to a certain culture or tradition. It can be yours or others, but you'll get so tied in that culture that you'll adore it
𓆩♡𓆪 I have my 7H lord in the 9H in my sidereal/vedic chart and my friends always joke about me marrying someone religious (I PRAY to not), im more spiritual than religious and marrying someone religious will be the end for me (They say I'm gonna marry a priest help 😭😭😭)
𓆩♡𓆪 Pluto in the 11th house will make the native more powerful in their communities, or in their social group, you gain power with community
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Capricorn/10th house or at 10°, 22° will attract that type of "boss" figure spouse in their lives, it can be a dominant figure too and very influential in their lives
𓆩♡𓆪 Moon or Venus in the 6H are the best placements to have if you love animals 🐶🐈🐨, I adore these placements in the 6H (can't relate I don't have any) but I love seeing them in a chart
𓆩♡𓆪 Some obvs. for your 1H lord in other house
1st house lord in the 6H > Prioritize your health and your capacity for work/service, taking a break is vital for you
1st house lord in the 2nd H > your self worth and is more precious than any gold or diamonds from this earth
1st house lord in the 7H > Relationships are healthy and important for a human but don't forget to prioritize yourself as well
1st house lord in the 5H > Finding your joy and your own talents is the best thing you can do
1st house lord in the 9H > Don't let others to decide your fate, you can do it by yourself! Try to be more free than ever
1st house lord in the 12H > Your subconscious is as powerful as your spirit, you learn that your destiny will always be by your side
𓆩♡𓆪 Having Saturn as your asc ruler like Cap or Aqua risings is not an easy job because Saturn is teaching you how to deal with life independently
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𓆩♡𓆪 Venus in Aquarius/Venus at 11°, 23° degrees, people get so easily attached by you with this placement, you like "one of them" and the community support is always so heart warming
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn or Mercury in the 6H can make you anxious at your job, not that "severe" anxiety but still stressing
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in Virgo/6H can be full of storms, because they can feel drained and tired from others energy, people tend to ignore or forget about their needs and these natives can end up in a bad mood
𓆩♡𓆪 Neptune/Pisces/Moon or Cancer in the 2H can get emotionally attached by the things they own. It can be a sentimental relationship with material things
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Ya thought that we were weak but we coming right back
This time ya gonna see how we do it like that
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𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn aspecting the Moon, especially in harsh aspects, has a hard time dealing with their emotions, is okay to let your feeling out sometimes
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Sirene (1009) having no aspects or sitting empty in a chart can indicate a native who didn't discovered their sexual potential yet
𓆩♡𓆪 Pisces + Taurus combo in a chart can indicate a native who can be a very dreamy and artistic person, their talent can be insane
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn/Pluto and Lilith in the 4H can grow in very strict households, and it is very important to heal and grow and to NOT be like them and to not fall in their footsteps in case they're toxic
𓆩♡𓆪 Jupiter aspecting the ascendant native is looking hella good because you'll have Jupiter blessing your body. If you don't love your body, start to do so
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𓆩♡𓆪 Sagittarius Risings lining up to be some of the most luckiest people in the world because Jupiter, the planet of luck, is rulling their 1st house. The same can apply if you are Jupiter Dominant
𓆩♡𓆪 Having Jupiter aspecting the Neptune makes you the most dreamiest person ever, never stop believing in your dreams, or your magic will fade away literally
𓆩♡𓆪 Sagittarius + Libra combo in a chart can make you to be more bold, wild, sexy, pretty than ever, shine brighter than the diamonds with Venus - Jupiter as your rulers
𓆩♡𓆪 Scoprio + Virgo/Capricorn in a chart can make the native enchanted, mysterious, and even more magnetic. You can have vampire energy
𓆩♡𓆪 North Node aspecting Saturn gives the native the power to go through their obstacles in life, is indeed an indicator for having karmic lessons, but you gonna rise victorious out of this
𓆩♡𓆪 Venus aspecting Neptune or Pluto makes you fall in love with the 'bad' guys. They can be toxic, manipulators, and yes, extremely hot, but that was not the point ;)
𓆩♡𓆪 Sun aspecting Mars natives have that unique energy to make everything possible, they are very ambitious and will make it to happen
𓆩♡𓆪 Mars in the same house as Mercury or Mars aspecting Mercury will be very sassy/dramatic in their talks/conversations, even sarcastic sometimes
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𓆩♡𓆪 12H in Leo/South Node in Leo/Saturn in Leo/8H in Leo gives "royalty up to my veins." They can have a presence of a royalty in other people's lives
𓆩♡𓆪 Pluto or Lilith aspecting the ascendant gives major jealousy vibes when it comes to your looks/appearance people wish to look like you
𓆩♡𓆪 Moon in the 11H/Moon in Aquarius natives are gifted with incredible friends in this life. The meaning of these placements is to find friends you can relate with, very underrated placements ♡
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in the 4H and Cancer Lilith can be placements because you're not always surrounded with love or kindness, that's why is hard for you to give the same energy back
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𓆩♡𓆪 Air Risings remind me of 90's songs. For some reason, I have always considered the 90s to be Air Risings era, related to music style kinda makes sense because
Libra Risings because Venus gives them the gift of arts and music, Libra because of their unique fashion (The 90's fashion in music industry was BOMB)
Gemini Risings because Mercury is heavy tied with music and with what we hear, Gemini because is tied with communication and learning skills in music
Aquarius Risings because of Uranus's help to bring uniqueness and difference in music styles, also to make it widely more known, Aquarius to make it comfortable for the community of music
Not me debating the reason 😭😭 i got too deep with this subject lol
𓆩♡𓆪 Let me tell ya guys ,it happens to have my Lilith [1181] conj my Aphrodite in the 5H (house of kids😭😭), these both make me to not want kids never, and I actually like it because i am a generational curse breaker anyway. Thanks to Lilith, i know Lady Aphrodite can act more "baby fever" in the 5H!!! Not my in case 💅💅💅
𓆩♡𓆪 Speaking of Lilith 1181 aspecting your Neptune can make you to act more dreamy & enchanted, also very intutive
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith 1181 aspecting your Moon makes you to be vulnerable at times, need to take care and to protect your energy! Dont depend on others
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith 1181 aspecting your Venus will make you to act more possessive your relationships/spouse, will make you to be more in love even obsessed at times.
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♡■ New week, a new post for yall☆!! Enjoy it♡♡♡ ♡
I hope you all have a very beautiful Monday ♡♡♡
Harm♡♡nix
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antiquarianfics · 1 day
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Draw 4
You always swear you can hold your liquor until the next morning when you’ve no clue how you’re $80 richer and why your husband is too amused for your liking.
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a/n: this ain’t proofread and this is just me fuckin’ around. i hope you enjoy it. :)
warnings: alcohol consumption, profanities
»»———-———-———-———-———-———-———-««
“Buuucckkky,” you slur, head flopping onto your husband’s shoulder. You vaguely feel his arm wrap around your waist and steady you. He hums in response.
“Sam cheated.”
Sam guffaws. “I did not! I won fair and square!” Your friend picks up a piece of popcorn and throws it at you.
“And now he’s throwing shit at me! A cheater and a bully!”
“I didn’t cheat! ‘S not m’ fault you suck at…” he trails off. “Whatever we were playing.” He is just as drunk as you.
“UNO,” Bucky supplies, an amused yet exasperated edge to his voice.
You’re sifting through cards clumsily before finding the one you want. Once you find it, you shove it in Sam’s face.
“Plus 4, bitch.”
“Y/N,” Bucky says gently, “the game is over.”
You shake your head emphatically.
“‘S not over till the Bluejay over here draws 4 and hands it over.”
Bucky pulls a confused face, but Sam sighs as if he understands what you mean, begrudgingly reaching for something in his back pocket.
“Hands 4 cards over?”
“Noooo!” You drawl, giving Bucky a look as if he had grown a second head. “4 $20s.” You look back to Sam. “Pay up, hummingbird!”
Sam forks over the money, shaking his head in defeat. Bucky is left wondering if the two of you had made a bet before getting blasted, or if you were both just on a different wavelength and it just made sense. Either way, Bucky decided it was time for him to get you home. He thanked Sam for having the two of you over, and then he helped his extremely intoxicated friend to his bedroom. Once Sam had been taken care of, he returned to the living room where he had left you.
You’re now lying on the ground, staring at the ceiling lights.
“The stars are beautiful tonight,” you say dreamily. “It’s Ursa Major. Look.” You point. Bucky scrunches his eyebrows together.
“That’s the ceiling light.”
You look over at Bucky and shrug before looking back to the lights. Bucky sighs before making his way over to you, reaching down to help you stand.
“C’mon, Doll. Let’s get you home,” he says.
“My place or yours?” You ask. It’s not even a suggestive question, just a curious one. Bucky chuckles.
“Ours.”
Your eyes widen and your face breaks out into a grin. “No shit! That’s awesome.” Bucky laughs again.
“Mhmm. We’re married, sweetheart.”
“God, lucky fuckin’ me.”
You hang up the phone with a frown.
“What’s wrong, Doll? Who was it?” Bucky asks, setting a glass of water and a couple aspirin on the counter in front of you.
“Sam,” you say, a little confusedly. You take the aspirin and wash it down with the water Bucky gave you. “Said I stole 80 bucks from him last night?”
Bucky breaks out into a boisterous laugh that he doesn’t recover from for a full minute.
200 notes · View notes
gyomei · 1 day
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one kiss away from losing you ☆ nanami kento.
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THIS JUST IN . . . nanami kento has been caught booking a hotel room with a mystery person. we couldn't capture a clear photo of the person, but it's definitely someone not in the royal family's caliber. who could it be? ( 2.1k words )
・CONTENT: minors, ageless & blank blogs do not interact ! afab!reader (she/they), reader is referred to as love or my love, prince!nanami kento, secret romance, light angst, smut content: pleasure dom!nanami, cunnilingus, fingering, multiple orgasms, praise, not proofread.
・SIDE NOTE: while writing this, i thought of the song, like i'm gonna lose you by meghan trainor featuring john legend. and honestly, that's the entire vibe for this fic.
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A SECRET ROMANCE BREWING? NANAMI KENTO CAUGHT WITH A MYSTERY BEAUTY!
By Gojo Satoru | Sunday, May 5, 2024 | 01:30 PM EST
While the past few months have been a bit lackluster when it comes to the Nanami’s, this week I’m happy to report something very enticing to our readers’ eyes. Just two days ago, the young prince, Nanami Kento, was seen entering the extravagant hotel, the Renaissance, with a hand clutching onto his forearm. Not dressed in his usual pristine attire, I nearly missed him, but I’d  recognized those bulking arms and stark blonde hairs from anywhere. (It was also his signature round glasses that gave him away.) 
The mystery beauty by his side, however, was able to keep a much more discrete profile. With a hoodie on, they kept their heads down as they entered the beautiful hotel. With some dignity and honor, I had left the two alone to enjoy their time together (and because the prince is quick on his toes), but it’s no doubt what they’re going to do. Nanami Kento is regularly discussed as a man that goes by the books. Rarely shed in any negative light— minus the rumors that he’s a stuck up snob and thinks highly of himself— people have been speculating when this clean streak of his would come to an end. I’m just happy I’m the one to document it. 
For more news on the world of the royals, rich and famous, please subscribe to our newsletters or download our app through Gyomei Plays for a discounted price of $0.15/month. Get sizzling news on not just the Nanami family, but hear on what Duchess Maki is up to and about her solitary confinement after murdering the majority of her family after the passing of her late twin Zenin Mai, or snoop into rising Indie artist, Geto Suguru, and how his new album is turning out. I hope to bring you more tantalizing articles very soon. (Hopefully unveiling the mystery partner of ex-goody-too-shoes Nanami Kento.)
MAY 3, 2024
Nanami Kento has never been in love before. Has never allowed himself to. He knew that this life he was born into wouldn’t allow for it. Keeping his heart chained and locked, he couldn’t quite understand just how you managed to find the key. And his mind couldn’t wrap around the idea of just how easily he had given in to you. 
Is it because of your glistening smile that your eyes and lips that you did when he first met you? A simple waitress that was doing their job in the fancy restaurant that his parents had reserved a table for. His parents had requested for the best and in return, had gotten you. The dark bags under your eyes was enough evidence of your exhaustion, yet you kept such a relaxed yet kind tone even when his parents were snipping at you. They could never be satisfied. 
Is it your voice and how you carried such a melodic laugh? He had made a comment about one of the choices on the menu, making a snide remark about oysters and just how he couldn’t escape them. It was under his breath. Truthfully, he didn’t expect you to hear it, but you did and you had let out the cutest laugh with a subtle snort at the end that led his parents to grimace. However, the two corners of his lips had curved upwards and he started showing more interest.
Is it because even in dim lighting, you still managed to shine? That while he broke his internal promise with himself as he got to know you, no matter where the two of you went, you managed to be the center of attention is his mind? From renting out places for the day to spend time with you to booking hotel rooms to enjoy the night in each other’s arms, he’s come to memorize every course of your body. He’s memorized every curve and every angle that he needs to put you in for the light to hit just right to continue to make you flourish. 
Even in moments like this, where he’s checked the both of you in and has led you upstairs. Making a few wrong turns before arriving at the room and hastily opening the door, where he gently pushes you on the bed and captures you with the length of his body. He switches on the bed lamp because he wants to see you. He wants to look into your eyes as he breaks his promise over and over again, falling deeper for someone that he knows that in the end, he’ll have to let go.
No matter how habitual it is, you find yourself giggling into the gentle and feathery kisses Nanami places on your lips. And no matter how habitual your giggling is, Nanami can’t help but peer down at you every time you do so. The way your nose would scrunch together as your small laughs make his heart race. From small pecks to elicit more sounds to swallowing them up and dragging a moan out of you instead. One hand that caresses your face while the next holds onto your waist, traveling down to unbutton your pants. Loosening its grasp, Nanami dips his hands between the hem of your pants and underwear, feeling your bare skin against the palm of his hands. Your stomach tenses with anticipation as you continue to kiss him back.
Your hands tangle into his blonde locks, squirming underneath Nanami as he nears your core. Yet, he stops right as he’s a mere centimeter away, dragging his hand out and gripping onto the fabric of your bottoms. You whine despite his tugging against your clothes, wanting the touch of his fingers against your cunt— to feel his thick digits stretch your tight walls. Just the thought alone has your arousal seeping through the crotch of your underwear as your hips forcibly rise above the sheets as Nanami pulls off the tight-fitted pants. 
“God,” he huffs. “As much as I love these on you, I hate the trouble I’m going through to remove them.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re not as strong as you look, big boy,” you jest, gently jabbing at his chest; his still clothed chest that vibrates as he chuckles. And while he might say your smile is glistening, his is your entire world. Such a stoic man portrayed by the media, you consider every chance you get to make him smile a blessing. Just as hard as Nanami’s falling hard for you, you’re trapped in the clutches of how strong your love for him is as well. You yearn for him just as much as he does— if not more. 
It’s not because of his socioeconomic status within society. It’s because of his brown eyes that are like a hot cup of coffee. Piping hot as just one sip will rejuvenate every bone in your body, giving you the energy to keep going. When you stare into them, it’s as if your lifespan has extended exponentially. He’s given you life. That itself is all the power that you need.
So attentive and genuine with each and every action he makes. You don’t care about the price tag listed upon every gift he’s given you, but the practicality and meaning each of them have. He’s listened to you, followed all of your “pointless” ramblings about the things you like and dislike. He’s shown interest in all of your hobbies and quirks, and in return you do the same. And whether or not you both end up liking it, you both enjoy the quality time spent together. Because who knows how long this will last.
“You’re right,” Nanami chuckles in agreement. “I’m always weak when it comes to you.”
You shutter before whispering, “I hate how you can make something so corny sound so seductive.”
With yet another chuckle, he leans down; his lips ghost yours. “I try.”
You’ve come to realize that Nanami is a relentless man. Two strong hands that have your legs pinned up and pressed to your chest. A painful and compromising position, your muscles ache as your pussy is exposed all for Nanami to inspect. Brown eyes that seem captivated and mesmerized by how your juices have clung to your folds, making your cunt shine like porcelain. You crane your head to look down at him, gnawing on your bottom lip as you watch his thumb press down on your clit.
Your heart beat rises, pattering heavily against your chest as you watch the man dip lower to taste your pussy. A chaste kiss planted before his tongue teases and prods at your hole. A hum that reverberates against his chest as he instantaneously decides— delectable. His lips that pucker around your clit, sucking on your dark nub as your mouth falls open and your head falls back. Your toes curl as you feel Nanami knead at the skin of your thighs while simultaneously eating away at you. His eyes have fluttered shut to further savor your taste. 
His tongue explores your caverns and you pulsate around the feeling, closing your eyes shut to engrave this moment in your soul. You mewl and whine, calling out his name in such prosody.  Your hands travel to tangle themselves in his blonde hair, tugging at them as your pleasure grows stronger. Nanami grunts at the pain you cause. 
Eyes opening, you peer down at Nanami, watching how his muscles flex and contract as he holds you down. How he has his face buried between your legs as he laps up your pussy with an insatiable need. He barely comes to a stop before one of his hands leaves the comfortable position of holding you up to slot in between your lips. Two thick digits that glide in between your folds, collecting your juices before prodding right at your entrance. You clench needily as you wait in anticipation for the stretch they’re going to give you. Mewling out his name “Kento” in such a way before your grip on his hair tightens. You don’t have to say anything else. The tone in your voice is all that he needs to decipher what you want— you want more. And Nanami Kento is always too willing to give you whatever you want. He’d give you the world. 
Two knuckles deep into your pussy, the juices of your cunt seeping into the fabric that Nanami feels bad for the maid that’ll be left to clean up their sex-induced mess. You squirm in his hold, back slightly arching despite the hold he has on you with one arm. His fingers thrust in and out of your sex, unrelenting as he’s determined to bring you to yet another orgasm. Such a messy process unbefitting for a prince, but the lust tinting his eyes lets you know there’s no going back from this. 
“Kento,” you cry out, feeling his fingers curl inside you. Your swollen clit is still in the mouth of a dragon as he claws at the insides of your walls. “‘S too much! Please— please!”
Your words say one thing while your body says another. Your hands push him closer to your mound despite your squirming, an internal battle that you’re having with yourself. And sometimes he’s convinced himself that only he knows just what you need. He breaks away for a moment, lust-blown eyes with your slick coating the bottom half of his face. Nanami says, “it’s okay. I know you can take it. I know you take whatever I give you.”
His voice dips, becoming deeper than it already is. It has your stomach coiling as you feel that familiar heat as your nails dig into his scalp. Against your pussy, he breathes, “Fuck.”
“‘M g’nna— I’m—” 
Nanami coos, silencing you as your lips tremble. “Shhh… It’s okay, love. I got you.”
Your mouth goes dry, only able to croak out a few undecipherable noises before you’re cumming against his tongue. Nanami laps up your taste, cleaning you up with the pink muscle inside his mouth. When you come down from your high, your voice trembles as you mutter, “Kento, I love you.”
His heart pounds against his chest. While not the first time you’ve said this, it still elicits this reaction. He stammers, not because he doesn’t mean it, but because he does, too. He’s just got too much. “As do I, my love.”
“Y’feel so good,” Nanami breathes in the crevice of your neck, hips thrusting back and forth as your moans and whines fuel the room. “You always feel so good.”
His once perfectly kempt is now messy, hanging over as he rises from the crook of your neck. A hand comes up to caress your face as his brown eyes meet yours, staring at each other with such heavy longing. “Gosh, you’re so beautiful.” Your eyes crinkle, welling up with tears that threaten to spill. You can’t quite identify the reason for them. Are they for this overwhelming amount of love or is it for the fear of the future? “So are you, my prince.”
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・SIDE NOTE: nanami as a prince ? hicks & sniffles in one breath, goes feral and bat shit crazy in the next. im not well.
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dunmeshistash · 2 days
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What do you think about Shuro? And more specifically his relationship with Laios, and idk if you talk about ships but what are your thoughts on laishuro
I have this headcannon that Laios has some sort of unrequited crush on Shuro just because it's sorta funny
I ship pretty much everything. Like, as default I think everyone should kiss everyone 👍
If I'm honest I'm not much of a Shuro fan, he's a little boring to me and reactions to the chimera episode made me dislike him a bit lmao.
Ignoring the fandom I like him as a character and I LOVE his fight with Laios. Shuro's relationship to Laios is my favorite part of that character so laishuro pretty much saves him for me.
In universe Shuro is said to be quite the introvert even for people from his country. He's not the standard for someone from the eastern archipelago and it bothered me a bit when people used that to justify how he wasn't honest to Laios. I understand the idea that he comes from somewhere where reading social cues is not only expected but required but he's also someone who avoids confrontation and is quiet/shy in general.
Here's a bit from Maizuru's description from the adventurer's bible
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"People tend to describe Shuro as "drab" and "shy" (...)" so specifically HE IS the exact type of person who would cause the biggest misunderstanding with Laios, just compare him to how his retainers or even his father and brothers act.
It took them saying they used ancient magic on Falin/seeing chimera Falin for him to finally snap, everything else he decided to just take it cause he thought it was better to take it than to confront Laios directly.
So besides the cultural differences you have to take into consideration this was pretty much the perfect storm brewing for that confrontation, and it's as much who Shuro is as a person and who Laios is as person that caused it.
I also disagree that the fight was a "they're both in the wrong" situation. Don't get me wrong, Laios was VERY culturally insensitive to Shuro and even more insensitive to his feelings, but there was nothing he could have done differently with the information that was available to him.
Specifically I see this comic being used to justify how Laios was to blame too, making Shuro into the victim
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Like that's a major white guy move but he DIDN'T HEAR Shuro's name and Shuro never corrected him. I'd understand it if his reaction was "Your name is too complicated so I'll call you Shuro instead" that would be a major dick move, but Laios did not hear his name because Toshiro mumbled it, and for someone that forgot Kabru's name several times I imagine he made an effort to remember Shuro's.
Laios never met someone from the eastern archipelago before this, nobody ever explained to him he wasn't acting in an appropriate manner and most of all he thought they were friends. He trusted Shuro to set boundaries for him, he always respects boundaries that are set even when he doesn't fully understand them (Recalling the "I forgot about feelings.." when Chilchuck says it feels wrong to eat merman)
Instead of explaining ANYTHING to Laios, Shuro instead held it all in until it exploded all at once, he blamed Laios for not knowing something he couldn't know, and accused him of not being serious about saving his own sister.
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Just imagine how this must have felt for Laios, everyone is always underestimating how serious he is, everyone accuses him of being stupid, clueless, and now this guy is telling him he isn't serious about saving the person he loves the most in the world and wants to protect always. To me this wasn't a "they're both in the wrong" situation, Shuro is far more in the wrong than Laios. But that's just how I see it.
That all being said, they understood each other finally and made peace after that fight.
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And several times after this we see that Shuro really cares for Laios, and Laios still wants to be his friend. He even offered to save Laios if he fails (and he's sure he's gonna fail). So their relationship is dear to me, especially cause after this they finally have the foundation for a true mutual friendship <3
I think my dislike of Shuro comes from relating to him to be honest, it happens often that I see my own failures on a character and get angry at them for being angry at myself lmao. I also got a little annoyed cause I only saw people defending him, apparently those were made as a response to hate he had gotten? But since I never actually seen the hate it just felt annoying to see Shuro being white knighted.
Anyway I love the two of them together and I'm really happy they finally understood each other better. laishuro might be my favorite Laios ship, one sided crushes are great.
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carkali · 2 days
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removed from any shipping its genuinely notable to me that rodya seemingly latches on to gregor from the start. of course shes doing her little facade (and if you go back to the earlier episodes now, its a lot more egregious and easier to notice) but its curious that out of any of the sinners, its him she actively chooses to interact with and drop a nickname on first
shes very very teasing especially initially and seems to target him for his arm, a lot of her comments being based on him being bugmoded. it honestly could look cruel especially with the full context we have now, though notably these do all take place pre-gregor revelations, but if you jump to this being a signifier of rodya bullying/wanting to get actual pain or upset out of gregor you'd have to skip over this scene
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which is both silly but also i feel pretty significant for understanding something about the two of them and their relationship:
gregor is not actually a helpless pushover who lets himself be walked over and he will speak up if a line is crossed for him
rodya can read and understand when he's distressed, gets hesitant and will back off. her intention is not actual upset from gregor
what's important to me in my read of rodya is that she does have a facade, deliberately to be charming and likable, but i dont think her buttonpushing/ragging on of gregor (and later the other sinners) is actually entirely part of that, i think its the opposite. showing real honest affection is something difficult to her, so she skips a few steps and jumps straight into poking fun like you would with someone youve known a long time.
I think her "true" personality isn't cold and calculative, from further story context i interpret it as more jaded and sarcastic. these moments to me read as a sort of fumble or early mask slip, she's not baring it all with these bits but she has singled out gregor in her mind and is particularly hovering (based on how the majority of both of their interactions throughout are from the very start with eachother) around him, trying to get closer in an awkward way.
I think people miss that theres a lot you can take and learn about rodya from their interactions, whether its because of a focus on shipping or trying to outright deny there is anything going on there at all
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lazyjellyfish300 · 1 day
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The Woman He Didn't Choose Part 6🥀
AU Bachelor!Miguel O'Hara x Fem Contestant!Reader
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Synopsis: After the big rose ceremony fight, your future in Paradise is uncertain. But one thing is for certain, a new storm is brewing... Word count 4.8k
Part 1(previous parts linked in the post)
A/N: EEEE, thank you for all the support and love this AU has gotten with all the recent asks as of late, just TY TY so much! 🖤 I think there will only be 3 chapters max after this then we will bid this series farewell 😢 going back to my Jersey Shore roots for this one as the inspiration mixed in!
DISCLAIMER: I have changed the name of the show for copyright purposes, I don't own or have rights to the TV show The Bachelor or Bachelor in Paradise and all credit goes to the rightful owners.
TW: MINORS DNI, ANGST(slightly less in this chapter), DRAMA, SUGGESTIVE-GETTING HANDSY ON THE DANCE FLOOR, MULTIPLE PEOPLE MAKING OUT MENTIONED, NO MAJOR SMUT YET(THAT'S FOR THE FAIRYTALE SUITES 🤭😏), BREAK UP, JEALOUSY, INSECURITY, CHEATING, BETRAYAL, RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES, GASLIGHTING
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Jason Donner speaks in a voiceover: "Tonight on Singles in Paradise... 
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Jason takes a deep breath as he addresses the anxious group that are setting in various spots in the common room. You and Felicia are holding onto each other's knees cross legged on the floor. Miguel is watching Jason's face intently for any detection of the news he is about to share. George has an arm around MJ who is fiddling nervously with her necklace. Ben is locked in a dead stare at a spot on the floor. Peter B. is noticeably absent. 
"Alright, y'all , I know there's been a lot of madness around here lately. Just a little update on Dana: she will not be returning to paradise." 
You and Felicia do your best not to crack a smile as you slowly turn to look at each other. 
"Now..." Jason warns. "I do not condone anything that took place at the rose ceremony tonight. Physical violence will not be tolerated on any show of the Eligible Suitor Nation. However..." He pauses, motioning towards you. 
"I understand that some of it was provoked by some words that were exchanged between fellow cast mates..." He continues, putting it vaguely. “....and I want you to know that we do not condone that either. Due to Dana's departure, Miguel?" 
Miguel slowly looks up at Jason, a hopeful look on his face. 
"We will let you stay another week. However, if you do not have a rose by that time, you will be going home for good. Understood?" 
Miguel nods silently and smiles, uttering a murmur of gratitude. 
"Great." Jason says. "Well, everyone, it's been a long night. Why don't we call it here. We'll have some fun surprises to look forward to tomorrow as well as a group outing. With that, I'll bid you all goodnight. Everyone behave from here on out, got it?" He points a finger at the room with everyone nodding and mumbling in silent confirmation. 
"Good. Goodnight everyone." He turns, fastening one of his buttons on his light tan suit jacket as he steps out, walking away into the night. 
Everyone sighs and Felicia pops up, offering both of her arms to you and grunts in unison with you as you use her to stand up as well, your feet and legs like television static from sitting cross legged on the floor. Felicia turns to Ben and gives him a hug in silence, talking quietly amongst each other before it's time to separate for bedtime. 
Miguel takes you by the hand, your cheeks growing a little warm as you look up at him. 
"You good?" He murmurs lowly at you. 
You yawn loudly, raising your free hand over your mouth, nodding your head as you release it. "M'fine..." 
You let go of his hand for a moment as you place both hands on the small of your back, bending backwards a little bit as you stretch your spine, holding your breath for a moment then letting it out with a deep sigh. "Just need some sleep I guess." 
Miguel nods with a hum. "Want me to walk you to your room?"
"Um..." You hesitate a little, looking around then squeezing past Miguel to get your blanket that's sitting behind him on the couch. "I'll be alright. I was gonna walk back with Felicia anyways since we're staying in the same villa." 
"Right, right..." Miguel nods, trying to disguise his disappointment by looking at a spot over your shoulder. 
"Well, thank you, you know for having my back with everything...and g'night." You sort of bend your knees in a little bow of farewell with your blanket and your sandal wedge heels in your arms as you turn around, Felicia skipping quickly to walk by your side as you both stroll down the moonlit path to your room. Miguel watches you leave with a bittersweet look on his face. 
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
The camera sits in front of an unoccupied bamboo chair in the confessional area, until Peter B. comes into the frame, sitting down with a grunt. 
He blows air out of his cheeks, shaking his head as he runs his fingers through his hair, sitting back in the chair and letting his arms flop dead to the side, the rose you gave him knocked askew and holding on by just one pin to his white button down. 
One of the producers talks to him from behind the camera, the voice a little muffled and so the question is broadcasted across the screen in subtitle captions. 
"What's going through your mind right now, Peter?" 
Peter laughs pathetically, shaking his head and sitting up, leaning forward a little with his elbows in his lap, fingertips touching, hanging his head a little as he thinks silently to himself before he looks at the camera. "There's a lot on my mind now...but I just... there's nothing. You know? You know that feeling where you have so much on your mind that you just end up staying frozen where you are? Yeah. That's what I'm feeling like right now." 
"Are things over between you and y/n?" 
Peter B. puffs air out of his cheeks again. "I don't know." He shrugs, a tired look in his eyes "I don't know. She wants nothing to do with me right now." 
He stares into space for a moment. "I'm over the bullshit. Miguel and George. Those two are a problem. They need to watch themselves. And, Ben's my boy, you know? But I was not expecting him to turn, *he snaps his fingers* ...like that." 
He pauses once more, fuming silently, until he presses his face to his palms, hanging his head. "Things are gonna get ugly. Just watch."
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
The sun rises on another day in paradise. The group shuffles into the common area, grabbing smoothies from the bar and bowls of cereal and oatmeal, eating in quiet silence as you all slowly start to wake up. 
You approach Ben and Felicia at their table with your wet suit half on, asking her for help zipping you up the rest of the way. She nods, sticking her spoon in her mouth as she scoots forward on the bench, zipping you up. 
The resort's bartender, James calls over to you. "Morning, ladies. What's the plan today?" 
"Um surfing lessons, apparently. Hence, the wet suits." You gesture to your torso. 
James nods with a smile as he wipes down the bar. "Nice nice. I heard things were quite eventful last night." 
You scoff. "That's putting it lightly..." 
"Wanna catch me up?" 
You and Felicia look at each other. "Girl you do it..." 
"Okay so basicallyy..." Felicia sits on one of the bar stools, scooting in closer. "It was ladies choice this week right? It was me and Ben, y/n and Peter, MJ and George. Web-Slinger went home. And Dana offered Miguel a rose but he declined so he was gonna go home. Then out of nowhere, the man decides to drop a bomb that Dana and Peter were caught fooling around in some bushes. Everyone started freaking out. The guys started getting into it. Then Dana and I got into it. Then she and Dana fought and Dana got her ass laid out. So how she's in the hospital, they're giving Miguel a second chance, and I guess now we're going surfing." Felicia concludes, nearly out of breath. 
James chuckles and shakes his head. "I regret asking for an update." He leans on the bar, addressing you this time. "So where do you and Peter stand as of right now?" 
"Right now?" You ask, taking a deep sigh as you contemplate. "Honestly, I don't even know. I think I'm over it, to be honest." 
"Speaking of..." James reduces to a murmur. 
"Hey." 
You cheeks get hot as you sense Peter standing behind you without turning around. 
"Can I speak to you for a moment?" Peter asks, his face twisted into a slight plea. 
You turn around, giving him a dry nod. Felicia cranes her neck as she watches you walk away with him. 
You and Peter walk a short distance away, standing under the shade of a nearby palm tree. You raise one of your hands, cupping it in a visor over your eyes and squinting due to the sunlight as you look up at him with your other hand on your hip, waiting for his half ass apology with a slight aura of impatience wafting off of you. 
Peter takes a deep breath. "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for my actions last night. I was unfair to you, and I just hope that we can walk away on civil terms if anything." 
You twist your mouth a little in annoyance. "You lied straight to my face, Peter. I mean.....what do you want me to say to that?" 
"Nothing." Peter answers. "Nothing really. Just uh...." He's silent shaking his head. "I don't know. I just wanted to apologize and it wouldn't have felt right if I didn't at least say sorry before we ended things." 
You nod, staying quiet for a moment. "Well, I mean I appreciate you trying to do the right thing. But I agree, I think we should end things, you know. Clearly, you still have some unresolved things to work out. I really didn't deserve that though." 
"You're totally right, you didn't." Peter agrees, shifting his stance a little. 
"Right." 
Peter blows air out slowly. "Well..." He holds his arms out but you shake your head. 
"Um...not this time, you know? I'm just not feeling it..." 
"Right right..." Peter stuffs his hands back in his pockets in mild embarrassment. "Sorry." 
"Thanks." 
"You're welcome." 
"Alright." You nod in mutual conclusion and turn around, walking back to Felicia and Ben while Peter walks in a separate direction. 
"Well?" Felicia, Ben and James await at the bar. 
You shrug, having a seat next to Felicia, leaning forward with your forearms on the bar. "It's done. We're done." 
"Just like that?" James asks. 
"Just like that." You echo. 
"I'm so sorry dude..." Felicia gives you a sad look of sympathy. 
"No, you know? I'mI'm a little bummed, not going to lie. Yeah I liked him, but I really have no patience for it anymore, you know? You either want me, or you don't. And he can't decide what he wants. So to that I say: see ya." 
"Amen." James says with an impressed hum. 
"Girl, I'm so proud of you. Good for you." Felicia praises. 
"So what does that mean for you now?" James asks. "Anyone else here you got your eye on?" 
"Well..." You sigh, looking off. "Miguel still really wants another chance." 
"You think you'll give it to him?" James inquires. 
"I don't know..." You admit. "I mean, that's the thing. With Miguel, there's history there too, but you all saw how that ended and so now, I'm just feeling nervous about the whole thing. I would love nothing more than to just go up to him and say yes, yes let's do it, I'm all in. But are you gonna hurt me again and switch up the next day? I don't know."
James hums in agreement. "Can't say I blame you there. But, in Paradise, you gotta take risks. Who knows? Something about paradise: anything can happen. In fact..." 
James bends down, retrieving a small wooden box with a slit in the top and setting on top of the bar. You and Felicia have looks on your faces that only say one thing: "oh shit", when you realize what it is. 
"It's Truth Box Time." 
Ben's eyes scrunch in curiosity. "How does this one work again?" 
"Completely anonymous. But one hundred percent honest. Write down anything you wanna say to either a specific member of the group, or the group as a whole. Confessions, observations, complaints, truth bombs, dirty laundry. It all goes in here." James explains, patting that cursed box. "It's time to shake things up a bit. And the rule is: every single person needs to participate."
"That's the last thing this beach needs right now." Felicia groans. 
Your mind buzzed with what drama and messy thoughts the box could bring forth, Miguel, and your future in Paradise as you made your way down the beach for your surfing lesson. 
🌹🌹🌹🌹
Miguel gives you a smile as he comes walking down the beach to where you and the others are waiting, his floppy brown locks and sculpted ab muscles on full display with his half zipped up wet suit. "Good morning." 
"Morning." You give him a little nod, grateful that you're wearing a pair of sunglasses to disguise your wandering eyes. Allowing yourself to indulge in staring at the man's behind as you help zip him up. 
Throughout the surfing lesson, you're having a hard time paying attention to the instructor, things like the truth box and your future in Paradise and Miguel still plaguing your mind from earlier. Still, you manage to enjoy yourself, soaking up the healing rays of the sun and letting out a squeal and a wave to your friends on the shore when you finally manage to stand up on your board for longer than 2 seconds, shortly before the salty waves swallowed you up.
You and Felicia figure that's more than enough for one day, ordering a drink from the beach side attendants and applying a fresh layer of sunscreen while Miguel and Ben knock themselves out, surfing it up to their heart's content. 
"We so needed this." You mutter to Felicia who gives a low hum in response as you both bask on your beach towels, eyes closed. 
You can't help but become aware of some bickering coming from a short distance away, lowering your shades a little bit to make out who's starting off the drama fresh and early in the day this time. 
"Fine, go lay down then. Oh my goddd, Mary Jane. First it's your hair doesn't look right, then it's your stomach hurting, why don't you be honest about what it really is?" 
"George..." 
"I didn't even wanna do this dumb hang ten, surf's up, shit anyway. Alls I said was thank you! What, you want me to say go fuck yourself?" 
"It's not what you said, it's how you said it." 
"Oh my God Mary Jane! Let me just run everything I say by you before I say it. Would you like that, would that make her royal Highness happy? Let me ask Queen Mary Jane before I call my mother and wish her a happy birthday how about that? Since she gets mad if I even breathe in the direction of another female!"
You don't make out the rest as you watch the pair wander a little further down the shore before you see MJ storm off and George throwing his hands in the air as he walks back towards the group. 
"Damn. Poor MJ." 
"I know the girl hates me but I can't help but feel bad for her. George is the biggest flirt. Everyone knows it." Felicia stretches out. 
"You think I should go talk to her, just see if she's okay?" 
"I mean, good luck if you do." Felicia retorts, reaching for her water bottle in her beach bag. "I could never get through to the girl."
"Hey!" Miguel and Ben come up, Miguel sitting himself down next to you. 
"Stawwwp!" Felicia giggles when Ben wags his hair, spraying her like a wet dog. 
Miguel grins at you, panting from his exertion earlier, looking heavenly with his wet mop of dark hair and wet droplets coating his sunkissed skin. "Having fun?" 
"Yeah, I am. I'm gonna go do some damage control though." 
Miguel's brow furrows. "Who?" 
"MJ and George." 
Miguel shakes his head with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. "George can be kind of a douche." 
"That's what I keep hearing." You say, sitting up and standing up. "So I'm gonna go try and see if I can help MJ. You know? I feel bad for her. She doesn't have anyone else here in Paradise." 
Miguel nods slowly, but can't help but be a little apprehensive about the situation. "Be careful. I'd hate for you to get mixed up in anything." 
"I won't." You give him a reassuring smile. "Be right back." 
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
You find MJ talking with James at the bar. Her voice tapers off when she realizes someone is behind her. She raises an eyebrow in a mixture of surprise and suspicion when she sees that it's you of all people. 
You don't say anything at first, just give her a kind smile as you take the bar stool next to her. You both sit in awkward silence for a moment, then you break it. 
"I know we haven't talked a whole lot or anything. I know you're thinking this must be so weird since we both dated Peter and everything but I just noticed you over here by yourself and wanted to see if you were okay?" You start off carefully with an overly sweet tone to demonstrate you pose no threat, testing the waters. 
MJ softens a little then lets out a deep sigh, figuring what is it going to hurt to be honest at this point.
 "Thank you. Just needed to get away for a sec...But I'm okay...and no, it's fine. Pete is never gonna change who he is. And I am who I am so..." She huffs and sips her margarita, then wiping her eyes. "But with George, he's literally perfect. Like it's so good when it's good but when we're not..."
You look at her with sympathetic eyes, not saying anything. 
"Lately we've been having disagreements because I don't know if he realizes it, but he flirts with other women all the time. And he says to me, babe I'm just being nice. And I tell him, like I understand that, but to those women and to me it comes across as flirting." 
"Right, right. No, I get you." You nod, leaning on your elbow. "Like it's just a respect thing." 
"Exactly!" MJ rests her head in her palm, twirling her margarita glass in circles on the bar. "All I was trying to say was it's not what you say, it's your tone and how you say it. But once again, I'm the bad guy." 
You nod, picking at your cuticles while you listen, lost in thought and also relieved that she's willing to open up to you. 
"I'm gonna go to the spa for a bit." She sighs, pushing her empty glass away from her. She thinks for a moment, then decides to take a chance. "Can I ask you to do something for me, though? Woman to woman?" 
"Oh?" You perk up, a little surprised but willing to hear her out. "Sure, what is it?" 
"Just, please tell me if he flirts with anyone again? If you see something, tell me. Fairytale Suites are next week, and I just don't have the time or patience to deal with anymore bullshit." 
"Oh, of course." You nod profusely. "Absolutely. I'll keep my eyes open, girl. Don't worry." 
MJ gives you a hint of a smile. "Thanks, girl. Good luck to you..." And leaves for the spa. 
After she leaves, you sprint down towards the beach with your freshly poured cup of tea. 
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
"Jesus..." Your audience of Felicia, Ben, and Miguel sit with the news you just unloaded on them, puzzled but not surprised at the revelation of George and MJ's trouble in Paradise. 
Miguel leans back on his towel. "I called it honestly. George has a wandering eye, we've known this ever since he was on Rio's season." 
"It's a bunch of drama." Ben shakes his head. "I don't wanna see you, or you." He nods in your direction. "Get in another scrap like last night. Let's just chill, and end this last week or so that we've got on a good note." 
"Amen." Miguel sits up, stretching. 
"What are your guys' plans for tonight?" Felicia asks. 
"Um..." You look up at Miguel. "Well, I'd like to just relax for a bit. You and I can hang out here for a bit, then Jason said the group is going clubbing tonight. Wanna meet at the common area for dinner at, say 5 ish?" 
"Sounds good to me." Miguel nods, then looks at Ben. "You down to go golfing?" 
Ben wraps his towel around his neck. "I'm down. Let's go," before he gives a goodbye to Felicia. 
"Call me if you need anything. And stay out of trouble." Miguel gives you a playful smile and a grip to your thigh, then walks off with Ben towards the resort. 
Some time later, you're fully zoned out, both you and Felicia laying out like two iguanas in your element, when she sits up with a gasp. "Dude...look." 
You groggily sit up, then the sight in front of you delivers you immediately to full consciousness. 
George is standing ankle deep in the water some distance away, chatting it up with Christine, the short, curvy, blonde surf instructor. He's laughing, looking like he's having the time of his life as she occasionally reaches out, touching his arm and chest as she speaks to him. 
"Are you seeing this?!" 
"Girl, I am definitely seeing this." 
He leans in a little closer putting his hand on the small of her back, dangerously close to her ass. 
"What...a...little....bitch...George Stacy...you...slimy dog you...." Felicia shakes her head. 
The couple turn towards you and both you and Felicia immediately turn into mummies, laying back on your towels, holding your breaths, pretending like you weren't just honed in on the crime taking place, before George gives her a nervous nod and smile and walks away.
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Later that night, you and Felicia are all dolled up as queens of the night, wearing tight fitting cocktail dresses, showcasing both of your deadly curves and  that carefree twinkle of paradise vacation on your skin making you both look even more alluring than you normally do, leaving Ben and Miguel with hearts in their eyes and warmth pooling in their chests. 
You're all dancing at an outdoor bar, local music pounding your eardrums, margarita number three working its disarming magic in your veins, twirling and holding your hair in a sexy display of feminity on the dancefloor with Ben and Miguel close by. Peter B. sulking in the corner. 
You bite your lip as you watch Miguel snap his fingers and move his hips with a smirk on his face, a little far off memory coming back to you of the night you shared together in a hotel room when you experienced those bewitching movements firsthand underneath him. 
Your thong under your tight dress gets a little wet as your eyes rake across his figure, letting them linger on every faint line of muscle accentuated under entrancing disco lights, and the opening in his black button up shirt, with his chiseled chest on display. You spin around, letting your body press up against his a little longer than it should. 
Miguel utterly groans, switching his glass to his left hand as he touches you with his right, continuing to move to the beat. You lay your head back against him and your pretty lips fall open as you feel his ring  lightly graze your tits until his hand hugs low on your stomach, gently guiding and pressing your body to synchronize with his hips as his full lips brush against your ear, making your eyelashes flutter. 
But, the song ends and you open your eyes, temporarily snapped out of your horny fantasy as the crowd claps and cheers, begging the DJ for one more song. Miguel joins in the applause, setting down his glass for a moment and giving you a bashful smile as though to apologize for letting himself get carried away as the new song starts. 
The sight of an angry MJ pushing past people in the club makes itself known in your peripheral vision.
You grab Felicia, yelling "Look!" over the deafening noise of the crowd as you both watch her angrily leave and hail a taxi in tears. 
"It's George." Felicia mouths to you. 
"Where is he?" You try and communicate back. 
"Let's go." 
You and Felicia signal to Miguel and Ben that you're gonna "go to the bathroom". Miguel nods but hardly acknowledges, holding his sides and wheezing in a fit of laughter as he watches Ben valiantly face off with an older woman in a dance battle. 
The scene you were expecting to find when you see George is even more juicy than you could have imagined. He has an entourage of four women grinding on him with his shirt unbuttoned, his face red and sweaty with the unmistakeable flush of intoxication, sipping a beer from a bottle as he watches a brunette in front of him bend over and shake her ass directly over his cock. He bites his lip and puts both hands on her ass, beckoning for her to turn around. 
The camera zooms in as yours and Felicia's jaws damn near hit the floor when he starts sloppily kissing her, only for her drunk friend to start joining in in a three way nasty drunken makeout sesh. 
It's a damn shame none of you are allowed to have your cell phones right now. 
After the nasty kissing subsides, you notice him stand up, holding a new mystery woman with curly hair's hand and what appears to be a small piece of paper being slipped into his fingers as she whispers in his ear and he bites his lip. 
You both have seen quite enough, darting back to Miguel and Ben in a fit of sweaty bodies as the night at the club wanes on. 
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Back at the resort, it's getting close to truth telling time. You and Felicia and James sit together in a somber meeting at the infamous bar which is soon to become the second most popular location for tea spilling once the dreaded truth box hits the fan. 
You and Felicia are not quite at the level of sobriety you probably should be before you make this decision. 
"She needs to know." 
James nods in agreement, pushing the box towards you. "Let it all out." 
"I feel bad about doing it anonymously though, like what if she finds out it was us? Or what if George finds out?" You shiver a little at the thought. 
"Dude, MJ hates me." Felicia whispers. "I know you think she's chill, but trust me, she's not as reasonable as you think she is. She is crazier than me. And that's saying a lot." 
You raise your eyebrows at the last statement. 
"I'm serious! When Peter tried to hit on me after they broke up, no joke, all I did was send her a screenshot with 'hey girl, I'm coming to you as a woman right now, just wanted to let you know your man was in my inbox' and you wanna know what this girl did? She sends me a SEVEN MINUTE LONG voice note. Absolutely bitching me out about what a hoe I am, and how could you do this to me, you know what he and I have been through together, as one of the girls who was also on the show I would've expected you to be more considerate of my feelings and blah blah blah. I'm telling you dude. It's better this way." 
You blow a long steam of air out of your cheeks. "Okay, okay, you know what? You're my bestie, I'll take your word for it. Let's just do this." 
You take the pen in your hand, starting to draft the wretched confession. "Dear.....MJ..." you lick your lips in concentration. 
"Today....at the beach, when you left upset, George put his hand on the surf instructor's ass. He was flirting with her and she was touching his arm and chest while they were talking...." 
"Mhmm...okay go on." Felicia twirls a strand of hair in deep thought as you continue writing. 
"When you left crying at the club, George made out with two girls. He was also dancing and grinding with multiple mystery women. He also held a girl's hand and took down her number." 
"Yep." Felicia nods. "It's harsh but it's the truth." 
"Ben and Miguel know." You bite your lip. "Should we add in here that multiple people know so it doesn't look like it's coming from us?" 
"Yeah..." Felicia thinks for a moment then nods. 
"Multiple.... people on this beach know. Therefore, you should know the truth. There, boom." 
You and Felicia examine the note over and over, muttering silently as you reread it before you slip it in the box. 
"It's done." 
You both look at each other and clink your glasses together, your confession stowed away in what's surely going to turn into Pandora's box in just a few hours. Savoring a few seconds of quiet with your bestie before all hell breaks loose. 
Jason Donner speaks in a voiceover: “Find out what happens next week in another drama packed episode of Singles in Paradise!” 
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Tags 🖤: @miguelhugger2099 @kodo1221 @mimiemie @laysmt @cheerrioeoz @spicydonut25 @thisistotesnotspam-heart @famouscattale @thekidscallmebosss @librababe99 @cl3stevu @irishbl0ss0mz @nommingonfood @mauvecherie-writes @royale-skeleton-key @thesilenthill @dimitri-needs-therapy @a-lil-whore @aisyakirmann @sylveon-of-heart @hobiebrowns-wife @weirdothatwritess @reader-1290 @thesmutconnoisseur @koyukilove
@hardlystrictlystarwars @lareinamorgan @serpentineaerodynamics
@envyjmoney @clementines-valt @the-pan-liquid
@stellasloth @migueloharasoulmate @cynwing
@ddreabea @what-the-jams @loaves4me @p1nkliquor @mcmiracles @tojishugetiddies @1-800-choke-that-ho @daddyfroglegs @leonsbimbogf @thatone-writer
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a-a-a-anon · 2 days
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absolutely fascinated by young dee who is criminally under-discussed so here is my dissertation on what happened in her college years (ft. dr. gainer, setting her roommate on fire, being institutionalized)/my idea for a fic that I will almost certainly never write/my way too serious take on a few throwaway dee lore lines
timeline background: we know that dee majored in psychology ('charlie got molested') and got "three fourths" of the way in (meanwhile dennis finished his psych minor.) assuming this was a four year program, I'm gonna guess that in her third year she got institutionalized and most likely had to drop out ('gun fever too: still hot'.) we also know that she had her back brace until she was twenty ('underage drinking'), so I'm guessing that means she got her back brace off in her third year.
we know that dennis fancied himself a psychologist since he was young, but I think dee did too. in particular I think she was wary and interested in her brother's psychology; she seems very aware of his psychopathy and bpd in 'making dennis reynolds a murderer' and 'psycho pete returns.' in my head she's been interested in dennis' psychology since they were kids and she saw him snapping crows necks. so instead of forcing her way into acting school, she studied psychology to better understand her brother (and also deep down, herself, who is very much the other side of the same fucked up coin.) it also meant she could tell herself she could study her characters even better when she became an actress.
i think she put in (her version of) genuine academic effort to get in, fuelled kind of by spite (remember the way she studied that thick medical book in 'hero or hate crime' or her very quick math in 'boggs: ladies reboot'). she studies books and gets cricket to quiz her and she still fails to get into penn. but frank always pitied her (i think she was his favorite of the twins-remember "let your sister into the gang", "that's my girl!", "i'm sorry the grift didn't work out, sweetie") so he shells out cash to get her in, but also to get her away from home so he has to deal with her even less.
dennis wants to do anything dee does but better and he wants to keep her close by (to watch her crash and burn, and also because he's weirdly possessive-see 'the gang broke dee' "i'm your select!"). and obviously he's barbara's favorite. so barbara gives him money to get in too. she also gets him into a frat and pays for his classes and his rent and everything he needs. dee has to live in a dumpy dorm with a female roommate.
but college presents dee a chance to moult her previous place in life where she was known as a monster (remember how insistent she was that "people can change!" in 'franks pretty woman'. I think dees always wanted to believe she can shed that feeling she's inferior, but she never has). in my head her female roommate is basically normal-has real friends of her own, mentally stable, attractive-which is exactly what dee craves. dee wants to be popular and well liked and she wants to infiltrate her roommates life, imitate her, be in the Cool group. and she places all her hopes on a friendship with the roommate but dee has never navigated real female friendships before, not with someone like her. deep down she also wishes she found what dennis found in mac, whatever it was, because ever since dennis met mac he's never been as close to her. and i do think dee is some flavor of queer. and the roommate is well liked in the way that dee admires and envies. so there is that blurriness between wanting to be her and wanting to be with her. in my head her roommate looks like the woman from dee's fantasy in 'the gang saves the day' (and they both represent that promise of escape from dee's shitty life).
dee is so desperate for the roommates approval and her love and her life that she goes insane, copying and flattering and competing with her. ever the shitty actress, she tries to emulate her, but comes off as manic and creepy. and maybe her roommate is nice enough to not completely shun her, recognizing that she's struggling. maybe in dees mind they actually are becoming friends when her roommate asks things like "are you okay?"
and dee has to talk about her plan with dennis because he's the only person who would Get It. and she makes it sound like it's almost working. dennis feels jealous and worried and threatened that maybe dee might actually be seen as normal, especially when she gets her back brace off in the third year. so dennis fucks her roommate, more of a show that he owns and controls each and every pathetic part of dee’s life than anything else. and so that dee knows she'll never be as good as him, she'll never as easily charm people as dennis does. (or at least he tells her he does).
to prove that To Someone dee is Good Enough, and so desperate for attention, dee (who's been groomed all this time) enters a sexual relationship with her professor dr. gainer. she tells herself she has the power in it, that she seduced him ("he didn't molest me. i had sex with him 'cause i wanted to.") and she has a mental break, because the thing she told herself held her back from being loved (her back brace) is finally gone by now and yet she still feels like a monster, and the only scrap of "love" she can get is from her professor.
and then she can't take the fact that she can steal her roommates clothes, can emulate her sexual prowess (in dee's own fucked up, delusional way), and still neither be well liked like her nor be loved by her. so maybe dee will always be a monster. so dee tried to burn her roommate in her bed, because she represented the promise of change and popularity, and that promise was a lie and dee's effort was for nothing. and she's institutionalized.
and i think there was kind of a falling out between the twins and their parents, because barbara wants to abandon dee but dennis can't help but visit her. and frank doesn't even step foot in a place that reminds him of his traumatic childhood, and avoids dee even more than he used to because she is his childhood mirror image. so the family becomes even more fractured and estranged.
and maybe dee becomes medicated and slowly crawls her way halfway to normal by the first season (her acting classes are so well-adjusted, taking part in healthy hobbies of her!). until her father comes back into her life and everything falls apart <3
side note, even though dee is crushingly lonely-"I just got a cat 'cause I wanted something to hang out with. I don't have, you know, a roommate or anything, and I don't really have anyone to talk to..."-AND she struggles to pay rent whenever frank cuts her off, i hc that she refused to ever get a roommate in particular female roommate again after this because both her internalized misogyny got worse and she was afraid of what would happen (what she would do) again.
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angels-fantasy · 23 hours
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Top Secret Fiction Ch. 4
Farmers Market
Katsuki Bakugou x Reader
Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.
You write fan fiction, mostly about him.
Chapter Details: nothing crazy. another date, katsuki being sweet, reader uses their quirk
Word Count: 1.4k
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It's been about two weeks since you went on your date with Bakugou and you haven't seen him since, unfortunately. But it was for good reason - his hero work.
Going into this, you knew he'd be extremely busy, but you didn't think he'd be this busy. But you could understand it. Though something you did appreciate was the fact that he did make time to talk to you on the phone and would let you know when he'd have to go hours without talking.
In these past two weeks you also thought about his serious talk with you, about honesty.
Guilt ate away at you every time you started writing or even thought about it, which made it harder to stay active on your writing account.
Your secret really wasn't that big of a deal, but it was still a secret. Fan fiction was also something that had a bad reputation among people who didn't read it, so who knows how Bakugou felt about it.
Your phone ringing broke you out of your thoughts.
Looking at the caller ID, you saw that it was Bakugou. Smiling, you answered it and said "Hi Bakugou!"
"Hey, you busy right now?" He asked.
You looked around your room, as if that'd give you an answer. "Uh no, why?"
"Good. Can you be ready in like - thirty minutes? I'm free for the rest of the day and I wanna hangout now that I actually have time."
How sweet.
"Yeah I'll be ready by then. Are we meeting somewhere?"
"No, I'm picking you up."
"'Kay, see you then. Bye!"
"Bye."
Hanging up, you squealed into your pillow and then looked at the time. It was only 3:00 pm, so you'd have to be ready by 3:30.
As you rushed to get ready you wondered where Bakugou was taking you. He didn't say you had to dress a certain way, so you went for a casual and comfortable outfit.
He didn't seem like the type to take you somewhere extravagant randomly, so you were sure it'd be somewhere that was pretty relaxed.
After getting ready you noticed you had a few minutes left to spare so you decided to go check on the plants you had around your home.
You had about three plants in your home, all of them ranging from different sizes and types. You didn't have many plants in your home because you already had many at your work place.
You attended to each of your plants needs after they had told you what it is they wanted. One wanted more sunlight, the other was thirsty, and one was just fine.
You looked at your phone to check if Bakugou had texted you, and luckily he did. He had sent a text saying he was outside waiting for you.
You smiled and slipped your shoes on, saying bye to Cheerios and your plants like you always did.
Sliding into the passenger seat you said, "Hey stranger. How've you been?"
He smiled lightly, "Sorry I haven't been able to see you. Work keeps me busy but I'm good, you?"
"I get it. I've been good too though. Has anything interesting happened at work?"
Bakugou brought a hand up to his jaw and stroked it while he thought. "Eh, nothing major. I did stop a bank robbery with Red Riot a few days ago though."
You gasped and turned to him, "A whole bank robbery? I feel like that's such a stereotypical situation... you know? Like, you just see it in movies all the time."
"I know, which is why people usually don't attempt to rob a whole bank" He laughed, "But clearly these guys were idiots."
You laughed at that. "I can't even imagine trying to rob a bank. I mean - where would you even start?
The two of you continued to talk on the way to your destination, which he actually told you about this time. He said that there was a farmers market happening nearby and he actually went there pretty often, so he thought he should invite you along with him which you thought was sweet.
When you arrived it was just as you expected and it seemed to be quite busy.
"Wow I can't believe I've never been here before! The decorations are so cute." You said in awe, once you both started walking around.
"You wanna go get food? There's this old dude that sells the best takoyaki at his stand." Bakugou said as you two walked through the crowd.
You nodded, "Yeah I'm down. Takoyaki sounds really good right now - oh and after can we stop at that stand?" You asked, pointing to a stand that was selling crocheted stuffed animals.
He nodded and then held out a hand, "So you don't get lost in the crowd."
Yeah right.
You smiled and grabbed his hand, letting him lead the way to the takoyaki stand. Once you got there you met the old man he mentioned and talked to him for a bit. You found out that he made the takoyaki himself and he'd been doing it for over thirty years!
When it came to paying, Bakugou kept insisting that he would pay for your food but you stood your ground and told him you were just fine paying for your own.
He grumbled about it for a while after but eventually got over it. You two then went over to the stand you mentioned earlier, and looked at the stuffed animals for sale.
"They're so cute! I think I'm gonna buy one." You said to Bakugou.
He hummed, "You should get that one." and pointed to a white jumbo bunny wearing pink overalls.
"You're so right." You said and placed your food down so you could grab the bunny and check for a price tag.
Your eyes widened at the price.
"This thing is sixty bucks!" You whispered to him.
"What? Lemme see." He said and grabbed the bunny from you to look at the tag. His eyebrows raised a bit at the price. "Tsk, I can make this shit myself."
"You crochet?" You asked.
"Sometimes..." He said and looked away.
You laughed and then grabbed the bunny back from him. "Well, I guess it's goodbye bunny. You're just too expensive." You said and sadly put the bunny back where it once was, making sure to grab your takoyaki.
"Wanna go sit under that tree?" You asked and pointed to a large tree with a bench underneath it.
Bakugou nodded and you began making your way over to the bench.
Once you got there you both continued to eat your food in a comfortable silence. Looking up at the tree, you used your quirk and listened.
"This tree has seen a lot of things." You smiled.
"Whaddya mean?" He asked around his food.
"My quirk. I just used it and listened to the tree. She said she's seen a lot of interesting things in this spot, good and bad." You said and listened some more, "Proposals are the most common."
Bakugou smiled, "The tree really said all that?"
"Yeah! Trees have such interesting stories because they've been around so long." You said excitedly.
He looked up at the tree, "I guess I never thought about it like that."
After some more talking and eating, Bakugou offered to throw away your trash for you, which you accepted. He told you to wait at the bench for him, so you did.
It was taking him a bit longer than you thought it would so you began to worry a bit. As you were biting your lip in thought, a touch on your shoulder made you jump.
"Didn't mean to scare ya."
You placed a hand on your chest, "Jeez! You walk so quietly I didn't hear anything."
Bakugou smirked, "Here, I got you something."
He handed you a large, brown paper bag and watched as you looked inside.
"The bunny!" You gasped and pulled it out of the bag. "But it was so expensive, why did you buy this?!"
He shrugged, "You wanted it, and I guess it's okay to look at."
You looked at the bunny intensely and rubbed its head.
"It's so cute... Thank you so much." You said.
"It's not problem, just make sure to name it after me." He joked.
You clicked your tongue and smacked him with the bunny.
...
You guys had ended up spending the rest of the day together, finally leaving the farmers market around 8:30 pm.
When Bakugou pulled up to your house, you hesitated before getting out.
"You good?" He asked.
"Yeah, um. Do you wanna come inside?" You asked quietly.
He smiled the widest you've ever seen him smile and said, "Yeah. Will your plants be okay with it?"
"Har har." You said while rolling your eyes and got out the car, leading him into your house.
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authors note
sorry for the little cliff hanger :3
also, here's the bunny katsuki bought reader
taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19 @gina329
(those in pink couldn't be tagged)
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buddiebeginz · 1 day
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Saw this ridiculous thread on twitter that really deserves to be taken apart so lets go:
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First of all while it's obvious that Buck is attracted to T*mmy (and at this point likes him a lot considering they're now dating) in 7x04 the the main person who's attention he was trying to get was Eddie's. I did an entire breakdown of that ep btw for anyone who is still confused about what was really happening there.
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1.
Buck goes to see Maddie after the basketball incidient and this is how the conversation goes
Maddie: You didn't mean to hurt him did you?
Buck: I don't know. I was pissed you know. Seeing him and T*mmy being such good friends after only two weeks. I felt left out and I guess I was trying to get his attention.
I know that you B/T shippers desperately want to see 7x04 as Buck sent the entire episode being super smitten over T*mmy but that is just not the story that show is telling. The entire conversation that Maddie and Buck are having in this scene prior to T*mmy even being mentioned is about Eddie. Buck and Maddie are talking about Eddie's injury and how Buck thinks Eddie won't want to talk to him after what he did. The focus is on Eddie. Also it doesn't make any logical sense for Buck to be so upset and emotionally invested over some guy he barely knows. He's upset because he thinks Eddie his best friend can so easily replace him in his life.
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2.
You're defending T*mmy because you say he left the date not wanting to pressure Buck...yet he almost outed him in front of Eddie (someone T*mmy knows is important to Buck). By the time they were on their first date T*mmy already knew how new all of this was for Buck and how nervous he was, I mean the man was talking about how he was an ally ffs while he was on a date with a guy. And while Buck's comment about finding some hot chicks was embarrassing and I get T*mmy not liking it he should have had a little more understanding given where Buck is in his journey. Instead he made it worse by making that crass closet comment.
It's also just plain rude to go on a date with someone and then ditch them in the middle without making sure they have a way home and without any real explanation (I'm not talking about more extreme circumstances like your date just being an ahole btw). Sure T*mmy told Buck he didn't think he was ready but that was really all he said. Buck was likely left feeling like he was being punished for having a moment where he acted out of fear. T*mmy could have shared an Uber with Buck and talked to him on the way home and they could have seen if they wanted things to continue. But it was like at the first sign of Buck needing more support he bailed.
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3.
My personal feeling on the first kiss is that T*mmy really should have given something of an indication of his intentions before he kissed Buck.
Speaking as someone who is bi if I was into another woman and they were giving off the kind of vibes Buck was I wouldn't just jump in there and kiss them. I know they try to make everything more sexy for tv and it's the oldest trope in the book to have the hot guy grab the main's face and lay one on them but given all of the signals Buck was sending out T*mmy really should have gotten more confirmation beforehand.
I'm not accusing T*mmy of anything and clearly Buck liked the kiss and it was also clear in that loft scene he was attracted to T*mmy. Still the vibes he was giving off were also really nervous an unsure and he talked about Eddie 90% of the time literally moments before the kiss. Why jump in an kiss someone who seems that nervous and probably is into someone else? I don't know it's just issues I have with that scene.
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4.
When it comes to a lot of the discourse I see around between Buddie shippers and B/T shippers I feel like a major difference is in how we perceive the show. I feel like a lot of B/T shippers mostly just take the show at face value. If something is written a certain way and presented that way to you on the screen you take that as exactly what the story is saying but you're missing the more subtle messages in the writing.
Like the whole scene with Buck, T*mmy, and Eddie in the karaoke bar had a lot going on beyond just what the dialogue was saying and it was likely missed by those who weren't paying attention.
Yeah T*mmy was on call and yeah that could be a reason why he didn't dress up. Although as many have pointed out there's plenty of things he could have worn that would have made it easy for him to quickly change and get to work and still put an ounce of effort into something that was clearly important to Buck.
But the not dressing up wasn't even the biggest issue it was that when Buck seemed hurt by the fact that T*mmy didn't care enough to dress up T*mmy was just like it's not that big of deal get over it (in the demeanor with which he responded). Obviously it was just a silly bachelor party one Chim didn't even show up to and no one else even dressed up for it (besides Eddie) but for me it's another red flag showing that T*mmy doesn't listen to Buck and doesn't have his back like a (potential) partner should.
Also you can defend T*mmy all you want but very deliberate choices were made with this Buddie and T*mmy scene. They chose to have Eddie arrive first and call a lot of attention to what he was wearing. Right before they had T*mmy come in and have that whole convo about his lack of costume to Buck.
Multiple times in the episode they pointed out that Buddie were wearing a couples costume and that Eddie is the one who picked it out. Not only were they matching in the bachelor party outfits but if you look at their outfits in the later scenes while looking for Chim they're coordinated like spouses there too.
They chose to have Eddie be the one to stay with Buck when everyone else left. They chose to have Buddie partying alone when they could have easily had T*mmy there. Especially when you consider this is a much shorter season every scene and every ep means even more than it would in a normal season. If they were trying to build B/T and get the audience to warm to them showing them partying even showing B/T partying with Eddie would have been a great time to do that instead they only focused on Buddie.
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5.
I'm happy for B/T shippers that you got your kissing scene at the end but here's what I saw. In a very overstuffed episode they chose to have a ton of Buddie stuff including having Buck and Eddie show up together multiple times while everyone was out looking for Chimney. Meanwhile B/T got one small scene (which included Eddie) in the beginning and one kiss at the end away from everyone else (that immediately cut to Eddie and Chris). The kiss didn't even feel like it's main purpose was to further develop the B/T relationship, it felt like it happened more to serve Buck's bi storyline so he could come out to everyone.
Also others have pointed this out but just because B/T have physical chemistry doesn't mean they have romantic chemistry. They seem like very different people. Too different in my opinion. In what little scenes of conversation they've actually had I just see two people who won't be compatible long term.
Juxtapose that with Eddie and Buck and just how much alike they are while at the same time being so uniquely themselves. How they're able to call each other out when they need to like when Eddie pointed out how it was maybe not the greatest idea for Buck to come out at his sister's wedding.
You can dislike Buddie and ship B/T all you want but you can't deny how all Buck and Eddie have to do is stand near each other and they exude chemistry and compatibility. People who don't even watch the show assume they're together and there's not even one scene of them kissing. Yet the main reason people ship B/T is because they're two hot guys who've kissed twice. There is no other real point of substance there. Now tell me again which fandom is guilty of fetishization here?
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6.
You can call us the delusional ones all you want but EVERYTHING is screaming in your face that T*mmy isn't going to last forever. I don't even care if he comes back for season 8. T*mmy and B/T have a giant ticking clock over them and sooner or later their time will be up. There is no way Tim, the writers, ABC, Ryan, Oliver, etc would pass on the phenomenon that Buddie will be once it goes canon. The show already gets a ton of attention just from talking about the possibility of them going canon. Every single article where they even mention Buddie gets attention.
It's hilarious to me that you say the actors and showrunners are what rooting for B/T? In all the the interviews they talk about Buddie now. Tim literally was saying he cares about Buddie too in his response to a fan the other day. He literally said he included Buddie scene specifically for our fandom. Oliver is always posting and liking stuff related to his scenes with Ryan and Buddie. When Ryan gets to do interviews he gushes about Buddie and Oliver. Meanwhile B/T which is supposed to be the canon ship in this important queer storyline they're doing barely gets mentioned. Let me know when that same energy is being given to your ship.
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lisbeth-kk · 2 days
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May prompts
Today's prompt is awkward.
The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 5)
Summary: Rosie's youngest godmother takes her shopping, but Sherlock is persistent in choosing the shop. The occasion is too important to leave it to Primark to bring out something tolerable.
Five Years Old
Molly took me shopping for THE dress, but Papa decided the shop.
“It’s too important,” he argued when Molly told him he was being silly for making her take me to Harrod’s, but he didn’t budge.
“She’s only five, Sherlock. Besides, do you know how much it’ll cost?” Molly tried to reason with him.
It turned out that it wasn’t only Dad who could be stubborn, so Harrod’s it was. 
I felt like a princess in that dress we picked. According to the woman at Harrod’s the colour was tea green. Tiny white daisies were spread over the skirt. It felt almost weightless to wear and the skirt stood out in a perfect circle when I twirled quickly. We also bought white shoes and a matching hairband. 
***
“Why is everybody crying?” I whispered to my grandfather. “Papa is only saying nice things about Dad.”
Dad and Papa had married hours earlier, and in-between dishes, there were speeches to be held apparently. It was rather tedious, though I liked listening to Papa and Dad pledging their love for each other. That being said, I already knew this, so it was most likely for the guests benefit they had to repeat it. And Papa hated repeating himself… 
I know better now, obviously, and I totally understand why people were crying. Both Dad and Papa seemed to have forgotten about their guests, and focused on the other man entirely when they spoke about how they met etc. Papa seeked me out and urged me to stand on my chair when he spoke about me though. I ran over to hug him when he lost his voice.
“My precious girl,” he whispered when he knelt in front of me and held me tight.
I tear up every time I think about that moment, not to mention when I see it on tape.
***
Papa wrote a waltz for Dad, and when he played the violin, I danced around the floor in Dad’s arms. When Papa lowered his bow, the quintet started playing the waltz again, and then Dad and Papa danced. Greg Lestrade offered to dance with me like Dad had done, but I wanted to watch my parents. 
When I looked over at my uncle, I saw that he followed every dance move, and his eyes were slightly soft. I even thought I spotted some moisture, but that might have been the light.
***
I fell asleep on my uncle’s lap, but I woke when Dad and Papa came to kiss me goodbye.
“You be a good girl, and listen to Molly and Nana while we’re away, sweetheart,” Dad said sternly, but the stars in his eyes, softened the lecture.
“No experiments in my absence, Watson,” Papa said mock serious. 
Before he stood, he held me tight, breathed me in and whispered with a quiver in his voice: “I’ll miss you, my heart.” 
The awkward moments that had been avoided up until now, at least to my knowledge, started when Greg came over to see the newlyweds off. His pronunciation was a bit slurred at that point, and both uncle Myc, Dad and Papa shushed him when he wished them a fabulous six holiday.
His description puzzled me. I thought Dad and Papa were going on something called ahoneymoon. How the number six fit into that, I couldn’t fathom. Were they to visit six different places, or…
“You will figure it out in due course,” uncle Myc said with a blushing face. “Now, shall we dance one last time before I bring you and Nana home? It seems like a certain major needs some urgent rescuing.”
I looked over at the dance floor where Nana was showing off her dance skills, clinging to Dad’s old friend. He was sweating quite profusely in his uniform, and his eyes looked slightly panicked.
“Nana has a good time,” I pondered. “Papa says she was a bur... burlesque dancer when she was young. Is that burl…”
Uncle’s blush deepened and he cut me off by clearing his throat and muttering something about reminding his brother to watch his mouth around little girls.
Also available on AO3
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When Harry feels his temperature start to rise and the world starts to go a little fuzzy around the edges, he packs up his nesting materials, some clean clothing, and a few books at Hermione’s insistence, lets his friends know to tell Pomfrey, and goes to get a few snacks from the house elves before holing up in the Head Boy’s room. Luckily Tom is there, not having any classes this morning, so after a quick message is sent to confirm he’ll be unable to attend for a few days and a quick change into comfortable clothes, they’re ready.
Theoretically.
“So, uh. What do we do now?”
Tom gives him a look. “Why are you asking me? You’re the omega, this is your heat.”
“We’ve established I am bad at being an omega,” Harry says.
“Well, what is your body telling you to do?” Tom says, mildly exasperated. 
“Erm… Nothing particular, at the moment. But I don’t think the heat has fully started. If it has, I don’t know what other omegas are talking about.”
“You do realise you’re currently piling blankets and my clothing on the bed.”
He is. “Fucking hell.” His nesting urge is out of control. “Well, I guess this is what we’re doing.”
“Do you want me to help?”
“Uh, do you have any other pillows?” Harry asks absently, arranging the blankets and the majority of Tom’s wardrobe according to some unwritten organisational plan. He knows when it feels right, though.
“Harry. We’re wizards,” Tom says. “I may not have more pillows, but I can make them.”
“Then make me three big, fluffy ones.”
Tom does. The pillows are perfect – exactly what he wants. A part of Harry that he’d rather not acknowledge crows about how well he’s chosen his mate.
Once he places the pillows where they’re meant to be, Harry feels a warm satisfaction deep in his bones. He climbs into the nest without conscious thought and rolls around to make everything smell a bit more like him. After that, he goes almost limp with bliss.
Okay, this is a part of being an omega he can get behind. This is awesome.
Harry is – dare he say it – cute, sitting half swallowed-up by the heap of fabric and pillows.
“Do you like my nest?” Harry asks him, looking dreamy and somehow shy.
Tom fights the urge to laugh at him. “Yes, Harry, it’s a very good nest.”
And at that remark, Harry’s eyes slip closed and a rumbling sound starts up from his chest. Oh. Oh. He’s purring.
When Tom had read that extremely content omegas might purr, he’d thought it sounded absurd. Now, as he feels his cheeks grow pink, he understands why people try so hard to achieve this. It’s like something he hadn’t realised was tight and knotted in his chest unwinds, and he’s sure his face is doing something foolish, but he can’t bring himself to care right now.
“Come here?” Harry asks, cheeks flushed and pupils visibly blown even through his barely open eyelids.
“Yes,” Tom says. 
He joins Harry on his bed, careful not to disturb the nest’s arrangement lest he be kicked out. As soon as he starts to sit down, Harry begins pulling and prodding him into place. He almost slaps the other boy’s hands away, but Harry must have him situated where he wants, because he stops poking at Tom and looks very pleased with himself.
And then Harry drapes himself over Tom and sticks his face against Tom’s throat, where he knows his scent is strongest. 
If Harry was purring before, Tom’s not sure what this is. It feels like the whole bed is vibrating. Tom feels almost drunk. Surrounded by his clothes and his magic, and with Harry against him, fever-hot, purring up a storm and emitting happy heat pheromones, Tom feels warm and relaxed and it’s wonderful. 
(thrown into the nest)
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so what do you think was going on in ed’s head between telling izzy his plan and then izzy making him execute the plan? why didn’t he come up with another plan to get izzy off his back in the meantime? did he hope izzy would forget? did ED forget??
I don't think he forgot. I think he was getting increasingly involved with Stede and his feelings for Stede, and that Izzy and any plan he made was rapidly become an afterthought that took a backseat to Stede. Nor do I think that the "plan" was solely to get Izzy off his back, as I mentioned in other posts. Ed is entering unknown territory with Stede and he's balancing out what he wants and hopes for with what he knows.
I think we always need to reckon with the fact that what Ed is experiencing is as new to him as it is to Stede. Ed has not been in love before. Ed has not had someone truly want to be his friend before, with no other motive beyond that. If Ed had said to Stede "I wanna hang out here for a few weeks," Stede would have embraced it completely. But he can't do that; in his mind, he has to have a reason to be there (hence the "teach me to be an aristocrat and I'll teach you to be a pirate" and later some of his impulse to leave being based in his lack of identity on the ship). As several others have remarked, Ed has never been allowed, or allowed himself, to be just Ed. He doesn't think that's enough for anyone.
To me, him being uncertain and not having a clear, set plan for what he intends—that plan even shifting, perhaps, from one day to another the more he gets involved with Stede—is a part of his character because he's intuitive, he understands how to read the winds, as it were, and can change/adapt according to them. It's not at all an underestimation of his intelligence or his strength. I think it's an underestimation of Ed to say that he sets himself on a single path and cannot improvise from that. Some, in fact, of what he obviously likes about being with Stede is that he has a chance to improvise again–the lighthouse fuckery is exciting and fun because it's not planned, it's something they come up with together and pull off together, with the crew. At that point, the brilliant plan of Blackbeard has failed because of an error. It takes Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet together to come up with something in the moment that will save them. And Ed literally calls that the most fun he's had in ages.
Being tactical is not solely thinking ten steps ahead, but being able to deal with surprises, errors, and changes in the wind and weather. A plan that is too rigid breaks easily. Stede is a major weather change and Ed tries to figure out how to adapt to that.
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sflow-er · 20 hours
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It's Eurovision week, and for the first time in over twenty years, I won't be watching or engaging.
As you probably know, the global BDS (Boycott, Divest, Sanction) movement has called for a total Eurovision boycott due to the EBU's refusal to ban Israel.
The ESC has been a beloved part of my spring since I was little, and it's really fucking upsetting not getting to enjoy it this year - but that's just it. I know it won't make any difference whether one person chooses to watch or boycott, and that my watching it wouldn't even be registered as a view if I just watched the TV broadcast instead of the stream, but I can't imagine any set of circumstances in which I would enjoy it.
Back when the contest was held in Tel Aviv, I "bought myself a license to enjoy it" by donating to the UNRWA multiple times what I would've normally spent on voting, but no amount of donations would be enough to do that now. Not when every artist will be styled using the products of an Israeli beauty brand (Moroccanoil, a major ESC sponsor and likely a major player in why the EBU wouldn't even consider a ban), and when Israel itself has made its participation a political statement. The only reason their public broadcaster KAN agreed to change the lyrics of their entry, which originally referenced the Hamas attack and is still called "October Rain", was this:
The president [of Israel] emphasised that at this time in particular, when those who hate us seek to push aside and boycott the state of Israel from every stage, Israel must sound its voice with pride and its head high and raise its flag in every world forum, especially this year. (The Guardian, 07 March)
Singer Eden Golan has also said that she believes her "participation is part of a very important mission for the country" and that she expects to begin her compulsory military service soon after the contest:
I still haven't enlisted in the army, and when I return from Eurovision, I'll report for my first call-up. In the first year as a returning resident, they don't call you, but that year passed and I was summoned – and my draft was postponed because of Eurovision. Doing army service is a mission, and I want to take the auditions to the military bands. (Israel Hayom, 22 April)
Yes, really. It's more likely she'll be some kind of PR ambassador for the Israeli army than be sent to Gaza with a gun, but still.
Many people are also upset about Palestinian flags being banned from the arena, and I'm not happy about it either, but I do think it's more or less understandable. The arena is a closed space, and any kind of altercation that might be sparked by those flags would be a big security risk. And at least if we are to believe executive supervisor Martin Österdahl, they haven't actually changed the rules; signs and flags with political messaging were always banned, and in this time, the Palestinian flag does send a powerful political message.
Then there's also the security risk associated with the event itself. Malmö is one of Sweden's most diverse cities, which also has both Jewish and Palestinian communities. According to a survey published on 4 May, 47% of city residents intend to avoid crowds during Eurovision. Mass protests and counter protests are expected. Events such as Quran-burnings by right-wing extremists are still allowed in the name of freedom of expression, even though the terror threat level in Sweden had to be raised to 4 out of the maximum 5 last year/this past winter due to precisely these kinds of provocations, and tensions will be running high. So even if the event itself manages to look as glitzy as always on TV, it will still be shadowed by what might be happening outside. Will there be unrest? Violence? How will the police respond?
There's no enjoyment to be found in any of that, no being "united by music" (the ESC slogan, which is a joke at this point). At least for me.
That being said, I do not judge you if you plan on watching. I understand that it's a huge annual tradition for many of us, and in these times, we need all the joy we can get. I also understand that it can feel like empty virtue signalling to boycott something when millions of others will tune in regardless - although it is good to keep in mind that this isn't some silly boycott started by social media activists on Xitter. It's a serious effort by the BDS movement.
I would challenge you to think about how you engage, though. If possible, watch it on TV instead of on stream, so your view won't be logged. (You could even consider waiting until the show gets posted on Youtube instead of giving views to the official stream, but I get that you probably want to see it live.) Try to abstain from hyping the contest or your fave entries on social media, and also from voting. Consider donating what you can afford to a charity that provides aid to Gaza instead (here's one list I found with a quick search).
And finally, spread awareness of the flip side. Don't be lulled into complacency by the claims of "Eurovision isn't political" when Israel itself has made it very clear it is - and do not make fun of people who want to sit the contest out this year or belittle their efforts.
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rainbowsky · 1 day
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This is not a question, but a reflection. With this BF story, I thought a lot. And I think that as French, I don't have the same point of view. I was especially shocked by these words: “he must be educated”. France has a deep colonial past. and I thought: "we must educate these ignorant Chinese? but who are we to think that we are better and superior? we who today have so much hatred for them?" Each country has its point of view depending on his history. no need to respond if you don't want to. And thank you for your always respectful and thoughtful publications.
This is in reference to a previous post.
Bonjour lyndariell, j'espère que tu vas bien. ☺️
This is a perfect example of what I was saying about this being a very complex issue with a lot of different perspectives and angles.
In order to make sense of and come to terms with this issue we each need to find the right balance between upholding our own values and respecting the values of others. That's bound to be a tricky process because we're each coming from a different region, with different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives on the world.
Each of us will have a different degree of empathy and alignment toward one or more of the various stakeholders in the situation as well, based on our own experiences, interests and values.
In other words, it's complicated.
It is true that for some people, hearing so many white Westerners say that a Chinese man half a world away 'needs to be educated' on any topic might legitimately feel distasteful and wrong. There is this Western conceit that our values and way of life are superior and obviously correct, and that other nations are just 'behind us' in heading toward the same goals*.
*Although the same is also true going East to West.
It would be totally understandable if some people were to reject the Westerners' characterization of this issue and say that the choices that led to blackface being used in this film are not our choices to make. After all, the filmmakers are telling a Chinese story to a Chinese audience, and they know best how to go about that.
Fair enough. But...
Speaking of colonialism
While we're on the topic of colonialism shouldn't we also be talking about China and its role as a neocolonial power in Africa? As I said in my previous post, it's not really fair for us to look at things solely from our own perspective and in the context of the cultural environment we are in rather than considering the cultural environment this film was made in.
Have you heard of the Belt and Road Initiative? Actually you don't need to answer that question, because almost every turtle has definitely heard of it. GG sang a beautiful song in celebration of that initiative not that long ago, complete with a video highlighting some of the major projects involved.
I didn't post that video on my blog, but you can watch it here. All the bridges, trains and other infrastructure you can see in the video are projects from the Belt and Road Initiative; China investing across Asia, Africa and other regions to improve transport and trade (and to build on China's power globally).
I'm no @potteresque-ire, so I'm not going to break it all down in a meticulous, intelligent, well-cited masterpiece, but you can learn a bit more about it here. There are also countless online articles, papers, analyses, critiques, accolades, etc. from every possible angle out there if you want to dig deeper.
Some of the core strategy of the initiative involves proposing massive infrastructure projects in poor regions, loaning them the money to make the projects happen (loans in the billions), and stipulating that the contracts must be completed by Chinese companies. Resulting in countries with shiny new railways and hospitals built and paid for by the Chinese government and Chinese corporations, with these countries massively in debt to China for many decades to come and with deep trade ties to China.
Depending on who you ask, Belt and Road is either an exploitative, environmentally disastrous neocolonialist power/resource grab, or it's an innovative unifying effort to improve the lives and trade of its member nations.
I personally feel its a bit of both.
Whichever it is, it does have a very dark side. There have been many stories coming out of these regions, telling about slave-like working conditions and horrific abuse from the Chinese contractors toward their African workers. I made the mistake of researching this and let me just say that what I've seen cannot be unseen. There is a reason people make snide jokes about the "belt" in Belt and Road.
And that's just the Belt and Road Initiative. There are a lot of other Chinese individuals and companies going into regions across Africa to take advantage of the people and resources for their own monetary gain. I posted about one such example the other day.
So in considering imperialistic attitudes it's only fair to reflect on what it might mean for a Chinese person to wear an African ethnicity like a costume, in a country that is frequently racist toward Africans and which is thought by many to be exploiting African nations with a form of neocolonialist debt slavery.
Particularly when said costume leads to a massive increase in the amount of racist posts on Chinese social media, and with a tone of raucous mockery and disdain.
We should consider the impact of this film on Chinese attitudes toward Africa and Africans. Based on what I've seen on Weibo, in various articles and on international social media it seems like there is a strong colonialist 'white savior' narrative coming out of this film; glorifying China as swooping in and saving these helpless Africans.
Taken alongside the horrible racism of Chinese audience reactions to the blackface, I don't think looking at it through 'the other lens' gives us a prettier picture.
If the primary category of people who are not offended by this tends to be audiences who are reacting with racist mockery, then a deeper reflection needs to happen.
All that aside, DD isn't working in a vacuum. He has been actively cultivating an international audience and working closely with international brands. He doesn't have the luxury of ignoring Western values if he wants to continue down that path.
And let's not forget that the culture he's so enamoured of is black American culture. If he loves Western hip hop culture so much it would behoove him to better understand and support the people at the root of that culture. The people who literally made it possible for him to find and enjoy that culture.
DD is a good person at heart. I feel that participation in cultural harm is beneath his dignity, and not something he'd consciously choose to do if he had a better understanding of the impacts.
When it comes to culture clash and differences in values it's also important to remember that while everyone is free to make their own choices about what they say and do, so too is everyone else free to make their own choices about how to respond to what that person says and does.
DD is a massive star, so his behavior and choices go far beyond his own cultural environment. It's inevitable that some people are going to have different takes on it all.
And I don't feel like people are telling DD what to do, so much as they're talking about what he needs to do in order to maintain their support. They're drawing out the boundaries of what they deem acceptable as fans. From there everyone has their own choices to make, including DD.
My own position
Here's the thing: I've come under loud, vehement fire from black fans for not taking a strong enough stand on this issue, while some other fans feel I'm being too hard on DD. Now you're saying I should consider the colonialist angle and reflect on whether it's even appropriate for me to think DD has anything to learn.
I can only ever be myself, and speak and act from my own values. I will always think for myself and take my own positions, no matter how unpopular they are and no matter how harshly people attack me for it (and they have).
I am capable of holding multiple conflicting perspectives in my heart and feeling compassion for them all.
I empathize with black people who ***for fuck's sake!!*** have been so thoroughly fucked over on every level and in every possible way by people around them who just don't get it about racism. Who just don't get how deep and broad and far-reaching it is and about how soul-destroying it is to live in a world where this shit is normalized.
I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to be a black fan who loves DD and then see him in blackface, and then watch all the fans try to gloss over it as though it doesn't matter.
I empathize with Chinese fans who are in most cases probably not at all ill-intended, whose reactions came honestly even if they were jarring to Western fans, and who have mostly found this story and its telling both exciting and moving.
I empathize with diaspora fans who are having to deal with a whole bunch of sanctimonious lectures about who DD should be and what he should think, say and do.
I empathize with the filmmakers, who after all were probably just trying to give an accurate retelling of something that actually happened in real life.
I empathize with DD, who was likely doing what was requested of him and probably didn't realize that it would turn out to be so controversial or negatively impact so many people.
Anyone who can say with a straight face that they think DD would ever intentionally or knowingly do something that would be this controversial or that would be hurtful to so many of his fans can KMA. That's not the kind of person DD is at all.
Blackface is a huge deal here in the West, and even people in this region are constantly getting it wrong. How can we expect people in regions where it's not traditionally been a big deal to do better than people here who are steeped in awareness*?
*And before anyone says that cultural relativism is such that only people in the West really think blackface is wrong, why not try talking to some of the African fans who've been deeply upset by this?
This is what it is to live in the world. Life is complex, and people are messy. Like I said before; nothing is black and white. Everything is a million shades and hues. As much as people will try to oversimplify the issue and try to intimidate us into taking 'their side', or try to punish and attack us for not doing so, we can only ever live by our own conscience.
No matter how much pressure I come under to condemn one of the individuals or groups I listed above, I will refuse to do so. My conscience tells me to be compassionate and understanding to all of them, and that everyone is always doing their best.
I hope and believe that our differing opinions can coexist. We can disagree and still be friends, as long as we remain open to accepting one another, and as long as we respect each other's right to our own conscience and values.
Merci pour cet échange d'idées intéressant. 💛.
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