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twstwonderlandstuff · 3 years

Text

Sleep depravity

You feel like shit.

Flashback

Ahaha, the new year! A time for fun and festivities! Surely, that’s what YOU’RE going to be doing, right?

Wrong.

Well, I mean right, but it’s not fun by what most of NRC calls as. So imagine this, right, you’re sitting in yo damn class doing your damn shit when suddenly, your classmate whispers to you from behind.

“Hey.” You nudge an elbow, to show that you’re listening.

“You should watch ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’. It’s a really good series.” You nod in thanks at the recommendation and your classmate retreats back to his seat.

And the day goes on as usual: Running around campus doing your part-time jobs, occasionally talking to your friends and seniors, feeding Grim, appreciating how fine everybody looks today- pardon me.

So now, it’s bedtime and you’re there listening to Grim talk as you do your homework. Then, he says: “Oh yeah, someone said something about a recommendation, right?”

“Right, I forgot about that.” You nod, finishing your homework in time. “We should check that out to watch for New Years. It’s in a few days.” You sigh, bouncing your leg.

See, unlike from where you’re from, NRC has a different curriculum, where the OFFICIAL tests come out somewhere in the 3rd and 9th month of the year, not the 6th and the 12th, so this is just cooldown time for you to kind of chill and relax.

“Right, holidays~~~ We don’t need to listen to Vargas anymore!” Grim hums cheerfully, and you nod. He’s already loud and super annoying every time he meets a slightly muscular kid, but add THAT with him rambling about safety protocols? Nah, man, ya can’t.

"Ah yes, the holidays where everyone goes home and leaves us here to wail and stay all alone with nobody- I mean I got you but you know- nobody and probably have to clean the school.” You take a deep breath. “Lovely.”

"That annoying guy is going to do something like that...” Grim complains, rolling over to flop on your stomach. “I don’t wanna!”

“Same...” You reply lazily, fist bumping Grim’s paw. “Hahah... hah...”

Despite your complaining, you feel a little giddy. I mean, come on, you get the FUCK around the school, all day by yourselves! What’s not to love about that? And the series is sure to keep you entertained.

Flashback end.

‘That was a terrible, terrible thing to think about.’ You thought blearily, thoughts swirling around your head as Grim falls asleep on you, *heetos and dorr*tos all over your body, making you feel sticky and gross.

It’s now the actual new years, where everybody’s gone home and like you predicted, Crowley did assign you to tasks- fucking bird, so you and Grim’s ass didn’t do what he told you. Fucking hell, the school’s been functioning DAMN well without you, surely the tasks not THAT big of a deal, right?

After goofing around for a few days, you’re getting bored, so you drag your lazy self to Sam’s store (where his friends from the other side are tending it for him) and rent out a DVD- Crowley didn’t gift you a phone, unfortunately (but still fixed that old TV set??? Man’s got some weird priorities)

You bring this news to Grim, who immediately begs and whines for you to open and watch the show. So you did.

The first episode, you were intrigued, but only a little bit. The same went for the 2nd and 3rd episode. You’re about to call it a lame series when you hit... the 4th episode.

It was a wild ride of emotions and wow... that scene where Henry helps the king really brought you and Grim to tears.

You were hooked. Or in other words, you were fucked. Fucked because now, you can’t THINK of anything BUT the series, which forces you to stay at home and watch the entire god-damn thing and now its 2 days after that.

At... you blearily open your eyes and notice the cracks of light shining through the curtain. “Oh god...” At somewhere around 8 am in the morning.

“Fucking hell... I’ve gone and fucked up my sleep schedule... shit...” And for some reason, tears began running down your eyes. What the fuck? Are you THAT tired that’d you’d cry over your SLEEP SCHEDULE?

Yes. Yes, you are.

You hear a knock at the door. “Oh my fucking god.” You curse, rolling down the uneven wooden floors, wincing as you get splinters. You lethargically stand up and open the door and look up to see...

HEARTSLABYUL

Someone 5 cm taller then you- oh screw off, you’re 145 cm, its okay to be pissed, you know?

“Happy new year, prefect-” You interrupt him.

“Oh.. you’re cute!” You grin gleefully, pinching the red hair’s cheeks.

“U-unhand me at once!” The guy with red hair shouted, forcibly taking your hands away. “Or its off with your head!”

"What, you’re gonna- you’re gonna tie me up~?” You tease, punching the guy’s shoulder. “That’s kinky dude... like tone down the horny ya know...”

2 guys with red-orange hair and other with blue starts laughing loudly in the background and you laugh too.

The guy with red hair STARTS turning red- oh my fucking god, people can turn red?

“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” And a collar winds up around your neck.

“Eh????” You ask, lightly tugging at the collar. “What the fackin hell is this shit? Y’all really out here puttin’ collars and shit on people... in the middle of the day too... wow...” You mutter, slipping into a country accent.

Flash! You hear a snap of a camera and turn to look at another person with a feather duster on his head- why does he have a feather duster- you know what, its cute, and you like it. You reach up and begin petting it, effectively blocking the phone he’s holding.

“Eto, prefect? You’re kinda- woah!” You look at him with a glazy eyes from those 2 days of non stop watching.

"Are you a...” You ponder, biting your lip as you blink repeatedly. “Are you... a fuck boy?”

(“CATER’S A FUCK- CATER’S F-FUCK- AHAHAHAHA-” Ace wheezes in the background as Deuce starts laughing harder, neither of them caring that they have collars on their first day back.)

Fuck boy has a bewildered look on his face, but before you could see his reaction, another hand goes to tug you back. You look up and... is that... is that lettuce, you see? No no way, it... it kinda looks like broccoli, though..

“Let’s get you to bed, prefect.” The broccoli tells you firmly, but like hell are you listening to a broccoli! Fuck man, you got higher standards then that, come on!

“No! I’m not listening to a broccoli!” You duck, effectively pulling out of his grasp and ran inside to wherever room you’re in and slam it shut. “YOU’RE NEVER GETTING ME, BROCCOLI MAN!!!”

(”Bro---brocoll-” This time, it’s Deuce’s time to collectively pound weakly at the dirt, one hand holding onto Ace’s shoulder as he looses it.)

Eventually, you slump on the ground and slowly... you don’t hear the brocolli’s voice anymore.. which is good (but like, why does his voice sound so... sexy??? Like, why??? It doesn’t make any... sense...)

---

Ace and Deuce finish from their laughing stock, having to hold on to the third years to get up from their position. “We’ll go check on the prefect.” Deuce tried to say, a snort or two making its way to the sentence.

“HAH- KINKY- KINKY FUCK BOY BROCCOLI--- AHAHAHAHAHA-” Ace was still loosing it as he walked inside, a tear streaking down his face. “I love the prefect so fucking much.”

Laughter bubbles up against Deuce’s throat as he walks in. “F...Fuck...boy...”

“W-where is the prefect, anyway?” They immediately see you, slumped against the hallway, snoozing away. With their strong powers, they gently lift and place you on the sofa, amidst all the gunk and shit that’s piled up.

“Ew, what were they even doing?” Ace cringes, looking at the mess. “It smells like shit.”

“They’re watching ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’- oh.” Deuce nods, in extreme understanding. He too, has pulled all-nighters with his gang to watch this series... oh how they cried like mad.

“Oh, that show... it’s bad. I don’t like it.”

“What?!” Deuce swiftly turns around. “But its really good!”

“No, it’s not, what? You got some poor taste, Juice.”

“It’s Deuce, not Juice! And you’re the one with poor taste!”

They bicker all the way, until they’re lovingly threatened by Riddle to NOT say a word, or its way more then off with your head, got it~?

SAVANACLAW

An extremely good-looking lion man- lion man, the fuck???- who lazily looks around at your dorm. Behind him is an EVEN better looking man, this one with a very fluffy tail and BEEG ears and BEEG body and my god, wow... he also sexy- like, sexier then lion man.

“Furry?” You mutter, your eyes falling onto another boy with animal-like ears and tail, except he’s shorter then the two, but his eyes seem to have more light in them.

“Happy New Year, prefect~!” He cheers on, his small tail wagging- oh that is cute oh my fuck- oh shit-

“...what the fuck? Why the fuck are there furries?” You gasp in alarm, running your hands through your hair in a frantic manner. “HAVE I MISSED A FUCKING GENERATION OF FURRIES?!”

“NONONONO NO NO NO THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY- NO-” You scream, falling onto the floor and grabbing a piece of your hair.

A shadow seems to loom over you, and you can feel something fluffy- or maybe that’s just you. “Prefect, are you okay- not like I’m worried, or anything, but...?” That line seems like something you’ve heard, but from where?

“Has the herbivore lost their mind?” Sexy lion man can be heard asking in the back, his voice quickly slipping into a yawn.

“Are ya worried, Leona?” The smaller guy teases, a ‘shi shi shi’ going past his lips.

“Tch.”

Well they seem like good friends- nice.

“I’m fine-” You look up and BAM WOAH WHAT IS THAT- SOMEONE’S PANTS AREA THING NOPE-

“I’M NOT FINE FUCKKKKKKK!” You scream back. The guy jumps back.

“Prefect, are you possessed?”

“By this stage? I might as well fucking be- HAH!” And you snort at that- it’s not even funny, you moron. “Oh, and also sexy lion man- yeah I’m talking to you, yeah you-” You point at said man. “I’m not a herbivore, okay? Like, I’m not a vegan (NO OFFENSE TO THE VEGANS OUT THERE), umm...” You slip into a dramatic accent where everything becomes more pronounced.

“I’m a fucking omnivore, and if you wanna like, insult me, please do it right. Thanks.” You pose, your hands making a heart shape, before slumping onto strong boy’s arms.

“Pfft- AHAHAHAH-” And Ruggie’s gone and lost his shit, because what’d you expect, right?

Leona looks surprised, before becoming very irritated, dragging Ruggie by the scruff/neck and walking away, leaving Jack to deal with you.

His seniors out of earshot and eyeshot, he glances at your sleeping form, which was nuzzling up to him, sighing in bliss as the warmth surrounds you.

He lets out a snicker despite his best efforts not too. Goodness, you surprise him every day.

He easily brings you inside with a princess carry, making sure to respectfully touch only your legs and you back to support you.

He glances at your sleeping form- what on earth were you doing that could keep you up so late, anyways? Oh, he finds out by passing through the living room, TV still on.

He finds your bedroom and lays you down there, not bothering to bring Grim inside- just kidding, he absolutely brings Grim in because he knows how much you love each other, but you didn’t hear that from me~

He glances at your form again and brushes some hair out of your face. The steady rise and fall of your chest eases him. Maybe he should stay here, just in case you wake up and act like THAT again and that’s something he’s sure a lot of people aren’t ready to witness.

He takes a chair and sits in front of you, once again having his eyes trained on you, seeing he has nowhere to look at.

A content smile passes your lips, and he smiles at that. What kind of dreams are you having, he wonders? (Little did he know its about him)

Wait.

If he’s waiting for you like this, isn’t that what you usually do for friends?! He stands up immediately, regretting his actions just as fast as he notices you squirm, sighing in relief as you settle back down onto your dazed state again.

“Happy New Year, prefect. Let’s make more memories together.” He mutters lowly, far too low for you to hear but somehow, you smile at just the right moment.

He leaves quickly, a red blush adorning his cheeks. No, that does NOT make him happy in the slightest! His tail isn’t wagging, his ears aren’t red, you’re lying!

Right?

Wrong.

Yeah, right.

Oh, god damn you and making him so confused!

OCTAVINELLE

An incredibly good-looking gent, with a smile on his face that doesn’t look as nice as it should. And look, he’s got a fedora! That speaks fancy~

“Happy New Year, pre-” You take the fedora and slap it onto your head, to the surprise and subsequent irritation of this man.

Or octopus. Honestly, they radiate the same vibe, so you wouldn’t know.

Then, you began doing the Orange Justice (cringe) as you hum- “Mhph, then you break it down! Down! Down! High! Down!”

“Is shrimpy-chan okay?” Oh what the fuck he’s so tall- THERE’S ANOTHER ONE YOU’RE SEEING THINGS-

“Oya oya.” HE HAS ARA-ARA ENERGY OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS- NONONONONO-

“Ara ara? Ara ara ara~ ara ARA!” You reply in kind, switching to a weird boogie as you sing offkey about a song.

“Under the sea~~~ under the sea~~ something, something, du do do do, under the sea~ under the grass, and till they fall~ ahhhh!!!” You grab the gent’s hands and drag him to you, paying very close attention to your feet as you attempt to tap dance.

The gent splutters indigation, so you leave him be and focus on your feet.

“Ne, that sounds fun!” The 1st double says, following you to dance- except he’s doing way better then you.

“Wha- how the fuck- that’s good! How the fackkkk... fuck... fucking... fucking fucking wop wop!” You giggle, trying to imitate his dance.

“Hehe, shrimpy’s funny when they’re tired!” Double 1 says, grabbing your waist as you shout in fright.

“Jade, maybe we should-”

“Let them be, Azul.”

Upon closer inspection, you realize that this ‘Jade’ has resonating vibes with Sebastian from Black Butler- wait, is this the twin cliche?! Where there’s the crazy one and the other’s the sane one?! But then again, he has that scary smile on his face... hmm, maybe that theory should be left alone.

You, still Double 1′s arms, shout: “Come on butler man! Join us!!!”

“Butler... are you referring to me?” He sounds surprised.

“Yeee! Come on dude,let’s vibeeee-” You stop mumbling and began singing again. “Oh oh, I’m a rebel just for kicks now! OWAH!!!”

“Owah~~” Double 1 joins, and Jade with a grin, joins in. “Owah~”

“...owah...” The gent also joins, albeit in a softer tone.

“What else, shrimp- eh??? They’re asleep!” Floyd pouts as he gazes at your non-moving body. “No fun.”

“Oya, maybe we should bring them back to their couch. It looks like a nice place to be.” Jade remarks, looking at the pile of chips and snacks on the floor. Floyd shruges, dropping you with a thud, but you don’t seem to wake up. Jade picks you up for Floyd and brings you to the couch.

Azul cringes at the sight of messy chips. “It’s giving me heartburn just looking at it.”

“Don’t lie, Azul. We saw you eating the same thing yesterday~” Floyd teases, a wide grin placate on his face.

“...I could’ve sworn nobody saw me! How...” Azul mumbles to himself, a red flush on his face.

“They’re asleep. We should leave them be.” Jade suggests, walking back to the group.

Azul nods. “There’s nothing I can make a deal about, anyway. And, the benevolent sea witch wouldn’t agree with that, wouldn’t she?”

"Yeah! Goodnight, shrimpy!” Still, you don’t reply, but Floyd looks happy enough since he hoists Azul up from his stand and walks out with him, princess style.

“F-floyd, put me down!”

“Nah, Jade looked really happy holding Shrimpy, so I’ll do the same to you~”

“Floyd!”

Jade walks behind them, watching as they have their fun.

Did I really look that happy? He glances back at your living room and gives a rare, sincere smile to the dimly lit room.

“Goodnight, prefect. I hope to get along with you better.” He whispers to himself, before closing the door gently behind and catching up to his brother.

SCARABIA

Sunshine??? in the form of a... homo sapient???? and a snake??? why the fuck-???

“Happy New Year, prefect! I brought you some food, a few blankets and oh!” The sunshine greets, giving you things, which you don’t have the strength to take, but nod as thanks anyways. He hands you a carpet, incredibly soft, 100% quality. “A carpet- eh, prefect?! Are you okay?!” The sunshine fusses, grabbing your cheeks in worry.

You melt, easing into the touch. “I’m okay now.” You lazily reply, giving him a slow wink. “Haha, get it? Cause- cause you’re here, and you’re the sun, and you’re cute, so like... haha? No?” You don’t let him reply as you sigh and nod, taking his hands of your cheeks. “Alright.”

The sunshine grins at your attempt. “I don’t really know what you mean, but thanks!” Oh my god he’s so cute-

“...hopefully, these things can dress up your broken- er, rustic house.” The snake replies, watching your behavior with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

You son of a bitch-

“Look, snake-man. No no no no, look at me. Watashi no eyes, you look at eyes- you see my eyes?” You stalk towards the snake, squinting at the bright sun (2 suns) as you trudge towards him. “Y-you see? Yeah, these eyes have tried their FUCKING best to fix up this dorm, so please, bro, please don’t like, mock it cuz like-- it’s really fucking hard- and you know why?!”

“Why?” The sunshine questions, just as you hope (but for some reason, the snake has backed away and is guarding the sunshine. You wonder why.)

“Lemme tell you why- lemme tell you why. So, this bird-man bitch boy I don’t fucking know, right-” The snake sort of laughs at this description as sunshine nods. “This guy, right, leaves ALL this SHIT to me- like BITCH, did you see the fucking state of this... I don’t know, um, SHACK?!” You point aggressively at the house. “Yeah man, it was SHIT! Like, there were holes, rats on the ground, and there were a insects everywhere...” Oho, snake seems to tense up at this, walking towards sunshine in a scared manner.

“The wood was rotting, it smelled like mold... the couches were moldy, the BED was moldy... it was... it was FUCKING shit mate, like the fuck?! You expect me to clean up that shit in what, like...” You bring up your fingers, not even counting. “Three fucking days? Like what the fucking hell, bitch? I’d like to- to- to know what the fuck crossed his mind, like the fuck, you know?”

“That seems hard, prefect. Do you want us to help?” The sunshine offers, but the snake interjects, saying: “Kalim (oh, so his name is Kalim, huh? Cute name for a cute guy!), how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t-”

“But it looks like they’re having a really hard time!” Kalim argues, pouting and looking at you pitifully, and you give the snake a woeful mourning face. The snake glares at you, before sighing heavily. Ah, damn, you feel kind of bad.

“Nah, it’s okay sunshine, I can handle it. Oh, by the way, have ya seen my baby?” You say nonchalantly, describing your feline friend.

“Baby?” The snake pales. “You have a baby?!”

“Prefect, why do you have a baby?” The sunshine panics too, eyes widening, forgetting the nickname you gave him.

“Yeah, I do! Wanna see-” Slump! You fall onto the ground before you can finish your sentence, leaning across the snake’s legs.

“Oh... they’re probably talking about Grim...” Jamil realizes, sighing in relief at the thought.

“Oh yeah, that’s probably it! Hehe, we think alike, Jamil!” Kalim grins, much to the chagrin of Jamil.

“Yeah, yeah, we do. Now come on-” Jamil lifts up your body, princess style and grunts. “Help me open the door.”

“Sure thing!” Kalim hums, opening the door. “What do you think they were doing, looking so tired?”

Jamil shrugs, walking inside ASAP, first giving the dorm a quick sweep with his eyes- he isn’t quite sure how to feel about the bugs you said. They pass by the living room and upon seeing the disarray, nod in understanding.

“Kalim, can you clean it while I put the prefect back in their room?” Kalim nods and gets to work, rolling up his sleeves.

Jamil smiles, nodding as he walks towards your bedroom, opening it with his foot. Surprisingly, it looks WAY cleaner then your living room- you really did stay up all night to watch whatever show was on, huh? The bed isn’t even creased.

Jamil sets you down gently, and you immediately roll to the side, sighing in comfort. He watches as the crumbs of snacks fall onto the bed, and thanks the graces that its not Kalim’s, or his bed that got the food spilled, phew.

Speaking of Kalim, how is he faring? Jamil walks back to the living room, fully expecting to see Kalim get distracted, but much to his ACTUAL surprise, the room is a quarter cleaned. The crisps are thrown in the trash bin and the blankets are folded up, albeit not neatly.

Jamil smiles, a little bit proud of Kalim. “Kalim?”

“Here. Shh, not so loud. Grim’s sleeping.” Kalim whispers back, waving from the kitchen. “I’m trying to clean the dishes, but...”

“Here, let me teach you.” And so, they two do their best to help clean the living room until it’s up to Jamil’s standard.

“I bet they’ll feel surprised when they wake up!” Kalim giggles, happy that it’s clean.

“I hope so, it’ll be a waste if we did all this and they didn’t notice.” Jamil frowns, crossing his arms, satisfied. “I’m sure they liked the gifts, Kalim?”

“Really?! I didn’t go overboard, right?!” Kalim worries, looking at Jamil in concern.

“You always do.” Was Jamil’s snide remark.

“Jamil!” Kalim pouts, and Jamil nods.

“It’s true.”

“Aww... I thought I really... aww...” Kalim shakes his head, cheering up immediately. “There’s always next time! Let’s visit Heartslabyul next, Jamil!”

“Let’s go.” And Kalim rushes out, shouting a ‘Happy New Year!’ to the dorm, despite his previous warning. Jamil says nothing, echoing his behavior as they walk out.

(And it’s true. After 14 hours or so, you wake up, walked towards the living room, and cried the SHIT out of your eyes. It really was nice to see, you know?)

DIASOMNIA

You can’t distinguish who the fuck this person is, but they’re definitely tall.

“Who the fucking hell??? Is so fucking tall?” You ask in a whisper. “Hello?”

“Don’t talk to Malleus-sama that way, human!” A guy that looks similar to a cucumber yells.

“Shut up, my guy. Oh shit, sorry I probably sound really fucking rude hah.” You snort, pinching the nose of your bridge. “Um, what can I do for you? Or something?”

“You look pale.” A softer voice comments. You turn to look at him and oh fucking HELL he looks so... soft??? Princely???

“Woah.” You breathe, grabbing his face. He quickly pushes you off, but you don’t mind. “What the fuck... Your face??? Is?? Nice???”

“Thank... you...?” He says strangely, stepping away. “Da- LIlia-sama, I think we should leave. ___ doesn’t seem to feel well.”

“Nonsense, ___’s fine. It’s probably just lack of sleep.” You let out a bark at that.

“Hah, lack of sleep. More like lack of heat!” You giggle at that- why did you giggle at that it literally makes no sense. You turn to look at this ‘Lilia’ person and holy shit, is that a d i l f ?

“...Dilf?” You mutter, stetching out your hand to touch this short emo man. “Emo???”

“What is a dlif?” Emo man’s face contorts into confusion, one that is not often seen in his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that phrase...”

“Dad’s I’d Like to Fuck, because damn bro, you look- you look like you raised hot kids and set them on a frying pan do you get me, cuz like you’re also sexy? I don’t... yeah.” You nod heavily at your sentence.

Emo man and prince-looking guy’s face contorts into a grin and a horrified look respectively. Tall man seems to have the same face as prince-looking guy, while Cucumber just... freezes.

“Are y’all okay??? You know what, I don’t- I don’t have- I’m not- I’m- I’VE GOT THE APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS- BUTTS- BUTTS WITH THE FURRR, THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HER~” You break out into a song, changing your voice to a country accent.

“SHE TOOK THE FLOOR AND GOT THE JEANS AND WENT LOW LOW LOW low low low low...” You sync in with the music, going lower to the beat until you lay your body on the ground and slowly lose sight (or blurry shapes) in front of you.

You don’t know what happens next, but you do know that someone’s riding a small cow. With big horns. And hair? With the bit of consciousness you have left, you reach up to touch the cow horns.

“Sick...” You mutter, and your hands fall slack on the small cow’s horns and you finally fall into well-deserved sleep.

EXTRA

“Lilia.”

"SEE SILVER, I TOLD YOU THAT PEOPLE WOULD-”

“I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT, DAD!”

“NONE OF US DO!”

“Lilia.”

“I- I’M A DILF- I- I’M A DILF- HAH, I’M- OW OW OW... ow.. my back... oh, yes... Malleus?”

“I’m bringing the human inside.”

“Sure..- argh, ow ow ow... Silver, Sebek, come help me!”

“Yes, old man...”

“...”

“Pfft... a dilf... a dilf....” Malleus snickers at your naming choices, lighting up candles that you’ve strategically set. Once the lights are on, he can’t help but squint at the messiness of your dorm. He walks past the living room and opens your simple bedroom door, placing you on your bed. You don’t seem to be unbetrubed, but you squeezing something in the air. Ah, perhaps you’re looking for the cat?

Poof! Grim instantly nuzzles into you, and you both sign at the warm heat between you. Malleus smiles at the sight and leans closer to you, and whispers: “Happy New Year, child of man. Let’s make more memories together.” He gazes at your simple room, and his eyes falls at your bedside table. He smiles fondly at the picture on your bedside table. It’s you, Grim and him in Ramshackle’s living room, you making flower crown as you bitch on about physics, Grim agreeing and complaining as well.

He gives you a small pet on the head and disappears in neon butterflies.

“Shall we go?”

“Oh, young whisperer, you’re back. I take it ___ is back in their bedroom?”

A smile blooms on Malleus’ face. “Yes, now let’s go.”

“Dilf.. dilf...”

“I can’t... dilf... I can’t.. no...”

I don’t fucking know what this is

I just thought--- lilia... is a dad.... and he sexy

and memes... and i created this fic

please enjoy it

118 notes · View notes

karlajoyner · 4 years

Text

Stole My heart (Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so there’s this imagine let me know if I should make a part 2? Possibly a smut? I don’t know let me know! Also let me know if I should post these on wattpad too!!!

Warnings: None

————

"Owen seriously if someone catches us I'm gonna kill you"

"No ones gonna catch us. They're filming a scene" He mumbled leaving a trail of kisses down my neck.

"That's what you said last time"

"They didn't catch us" He said pushing my shirt down my shoulder.

"Yeah but they almost did- wait. Are you? Owen" I scolded pushing him away.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"What do you mean what? The makeup department will literally kill me if I show up with another hickey. Then their gonna interrogate me like they did last time since there are limited people I see daily" I groaned.

"They're not gonna kill you y/n. Relax"

"I can't relax. Now that we landed a season 2 the chances of us getting caught are much higher now. Plus my character has such a bigger part now" I spoke pacing back and forth in the dimly lit room. Julie's room set to be exact.

"I know. But you can't let that get to you now. You did amazing the first season and your gonna kill it this season. And if we get caught then oh well"

"Oh well? Oh well. Owen I already told you I don't want anyone to know about us until-"

"Until we're sure it's not gonna effect our worth ethic. I know" He muttered sitting down on the bed. I sighed realizing he was upset. It was never my intention to date my co-star. Let alone fall in love with him. But after spending countless of hours on set and off set with him there was no denying the chemistry. And what to everyone seemed like an amazing friendship was actually something more.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I wish things could be different but-"

"But this is your first big part. I get it" he said moving to sit me on his lap.

"I'll back off. We'll just have to keep sneaking around"

"Owen-"

"No harm. No foul. If this is what I have to do to be with you I'll do it" He said kissing the spot he had previously been sucking on.

"And I'd do it again" He whispered kissing my skin once more.

"And again" Another kiss.

"And again" He spoke finally meeting my lips. The kiss last longer than the ones shared previously. It was much more passionate on both ends. The risk of getting caught high.

"Owen" I giggled as he flipped us over on the bed.

"Yes?" He questioned as his fingers made their way up my shirt.

"Baby" I moaned as his hands cupped my left boob.

"Mmm" He muttered against my lips.

"We've got to get back on set soon. I have a scene with Jer" I panted pulling away.

"Don't do it"

"Owen" I warned.

"Fine" He groaned getting off me.

"But for the record if they did know we were dating I would not give my approval for the stupid kissing scene" He said kicking the ground like a little kid. Referring to the fact that my character became Reggies love interest this season.

"Be careful there babe the jealousy is peeking through. Just be lucky he's married and they cut it down from a whole make out scene" I teased checking myself in the full length mirror.

"Yeah yeah. God the unholy things I would've done to you in that bed" He whispered in my ear as his hands explored my body.

"Don't temp me Joyner" I said a smirk making it's way onto his face.

"I'm here!" I called running onto set.

"Finally! Where were you?" Charlie asked exasperatedly standing beside Kenny who was looking at script at hand.

"We don't have time to interrogate her Charlie we've got to get this scene filmed if we wanna stick to schedule. Y/n next time be on set 5 minutes before"

"Yes Kenny. Sorry I was um was distracted. Lost track of time" I said noticing Owen had walking onto set casually going to talk to Mads and Savannah.

"Okay so this scene your gonna walk in on cue to your mark. Find Luke sitting on the couch playing his guitar. Sentimental talk. Confess your undying love for Reggie. Then Jers gonna come in tell y/c/n he loves her too. But he can't be with her because he had this girlfriend back in 95 who he never officially broke up with. Then he says screw it. You kiss. End scene"

"Oh the kiss. That's this scene?" I asked finding Owen who was deeply in conversation.

"Yeah. Is there a problem?"

"No, no I'm ready" I said not expecting to have to do this in front of my secret boyfriend right now.

I sighed going to stand on my beginning mark. I watched as Charlie did the same.

The lights dimming in the studio to replicate nightfall.

"And action!" Kenny yelled.

I opened the barn like doors walking in slowly.

"Oh Luke. I didn't know you were here sorry I'll go-"

"No. No it's okay. I was just messing around. What's up?"

"I was looking for Reggie"

"Looking for Reggie? Oh he's with Alex and Willie. He should be back soon"

"Then I'll just go. Thanks I guess"

"Wait. Can I play you something?" Charlie questioned taking a hold of my wrist.

"Um sure. Why not?" I asked sitting down next to him. I listened as he began strumming his guitar to a familiar tune. A small smile forming on my lips.

"That was great Luke. Did you write that? Maybe about someone whose name rhymes with Judy" I spoke in a teasing matter.

"No. Actually Reggie wrote it. About someone who name rhymes with yours" He said a blush forming on my face.

"Okay. I get what your saying" I said playfully rolling my eyes.

"Good. I thought I'd have to follow up with home is where my horse is" He said making me giggle.

"How could I possibly tell a ghost who died 25 years ago that I'm completely head over heels for him?"

"Maybe the same way your telling a ghost who died 25 years ago right now" Charlie said jokingly bumping my shoulder.

"Right... I just- I don't want to get rejected by a ghost. It's one thing when they're alive but if the dead doesn't want me I think that's saying something"

"Y/n, Reggies in love with you. He'd be thrilled if you showed any romantic interest in him. At least more than you already do" He teased me once again.

"Thanks Luke. I just hope he doesn't freak out on me like last time"

"Last time?"

"Yeah last time I brought up relationships in a topic he got all weird and left. So I just never did it again"

"Oh. Look y/c/n back in 95 we had a decent following and a ton of girls following after us" A strange look forming on Charlie's face.

"Okayyy" I stretched out the word.

"And Reggie. You know him he uh well he's a fl-" Charlie words were cut off.

On cue Jeremy strolled into the studio set as Charlie and I sat facing each other stiffly.

I stifled a giggle knowing this would later be edited so it'd look like Jer flashed in out of nowhere.

"Y/c/n? Luke?"

"Oh Reggie. Hi" I stood up continuing the scene.

"Hey. What are you doing here? I thought you'd be home"

"I was. Julie invited me over for a bit and I thought I'd say hi before I uh left. I though maybe we could talk for a bit"

"Oh. Okay yeah" He slightly smiled before turning to the brunette beside me.

"And what are you still doing here?" Jeremy asked looking at Charlie.

"Hey, I was just leaving man. She's all yours" Charlie smirked at us before walking off set.

Jer and I paused until his footsteps could no longer be heard before continuing.

"So um what did you want to talk about?"

"Just um stuff" I said standing still in my spot.

"What stuff?" He asked coming to stand in front of me.

"Luke. He played me your song" I said picking up the piece of paper with chicken scratch from the coffe table.

"Lifer Girl?" I finally read the title before looking up into his brown eyes.

"Uh yeah. I'm still working on the name. Did you like it?"

"I loved it. This lifer girl. She's one lucky girl. Do I know her?"

"Of course you do. Your practically the same person" he said a piece of my hair falling to the front of my face. I nervously played with my fingers as he pushed the strand behind my ears.

"Oh. Can you tell me about her?"

"Well she's funny and makes me feel happy when I'm around her. She's really smart and her grades skyrocket compared to what mine use to be. And she's beautiful, drop dead gorgeous" He whispered tilting my head up with his fingers.

For a moment I looked up into his brown eyes wishing. Longing for them to be someone else's. I felt his finger leave my chin before he turned away dramatically.

"I shouldn't"

"Shouldn't?" I asked curiously.

"I can't"

"Can't? Why not?" I questioned once more.

"Y/c/n there's something I need to tell you"

"What is it Reg?"

"Back in 1995 you know before we died. I uh-"

"You what?" I asked urging him to continue.

"I had a girlfriend and well then we died. So we never officially broke up" Jer said.

"Oh" I mumbled backing away from him.

"I get it"

"No wait y/c/-"

"No Reggie it's okay. Your still in love with her. Of course you are. God how could I be so stupid to think that you'd actually love me. Let alone like m-" My eyes widened as I felt him crash his lips into mine completely going off script. Which wasn't uncommon. But it was supposed to be a short kiss. There were lines that were missing.

Slowly I pretended to sink into the kiss. Pulling away after a couple of seconds amongst hearing the word.

"Cut!" Kenny yelled Jeremy finally letting me go.

"That was amazing! Spectacular! Great improve Jer! We're done with this scene!" He called out to us. But all I could focus on was the look plastered on Owens face. He was hurt. But not because of the kiss. But because of the fact that he couldn't do that. Not out in public anyways.

"Yeah great going Jer" I commented to the boy in front of me.

"Thanks y/n. You did great too" He said getting near me.

"But if I were you I'd go talk to your boyfriend before he bursts" He whispered in my ear leaving me wide eyed.

"H-how'd you?"

"Know? Please everyone knows. I mean you guys aren't great at hiding things. There's actually a poll between Kenny and Charlie. Whichever one of you slips up firsts. My bets on Owen" He chuckled.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Seriously"

“Who was the first one to know"

"Sonya in makeup. The first hickey you showed up with only matched with the timeframe that you and Owen had been together. Clearly not getting lunch like you had said you were"

"That long?" I asked.

"Yup" He spoke popping his p.

"Just don't tell anyone I told you. Carolynn insisted I put you out of your misery"

"Thanks. I think" He smiled at me before walking away.

A grin began to form on my face as I made my way toward the blonde who was leaning against a wall twirling one of his drumsticks in his left hand.

"Hey. Great scene back there" He commented as I now stood in front of him.

"Thanks. You know Jers a good kisser and all but I think your better" I spoke aloud noticing Savannah's and Madison's head whipping towards us.

"What?" He asked making sure he heard right.

"You heard me Joyner" I spoke giggling at his shocked reaction.

"Now shut up and kiss me would you?" He tilted his head to be extra sure. Something I adored about him.

He always wanted to make sure I was certain about these things. I simply nodded feeling his arms wrap around me bringing his lips to meet mine.

I smiled into the kiss as he turned us around pushing me up against the wall. I giggled upon hearing clapping around us from the cast and crew.

"Finally!" I heard Savannah shout.

"Keep it PG kids!" Kenny shouted laughter following.

"You owe me 20 Gillespie!" He yelled again followed by a groan by presumably Charlie. I finally pulled away first leaving Owen in shock.

"I'm gonna need you to come back to reality lover boy" I said rubbing my thumb against his cheek.

"What made you change your mind?" He asked keeping a tight hold on my waist.

"Let's just say you have Carolynn to thank for that. Apparently everyone knew"

"What? How?"

"I guess we weren't as good at keeping a secret as we thought"

"How long?"

"First hickey"

“That long?"

"That's what I said" I laughed as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"You two are so cute"

"Thanks Mads" I smiled at the girl.

Finally able to wrap my arms around the boy who had stolen my heart without any warning.

#owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #julie and the phantoms #the other side of hollywood #Charlie Gillespie #Jeremy shada #alex jatp #reggie jatp #luke jatp #Luke Patterson #Julie Molina #Flynn JATP #Madison Reyes #jadah marie

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hopevalley · 3 years

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Season 8, Episode 5: What the Heart Wants

I was going to try to follow my scene-by-scene format for the entire season, but I’ve been getting a lot of migraines recently, presumably from staring at the computer too long, so I don’t want to spend all morning working on typing up the play-by-play for this episode.

Also, for what it’s worth I think this episode lends itself to plot discussion better than some of the previous episodes...at least in some sense.

And as another head’s up, it’s back to being critical for me. ;P

Storylines:

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

The Dress Shop/Rachel

Postal Service, Ned

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Carson and Faith

Henry

Elizabeth and Lucas

Clara’s Dilemma

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

This plot felt a little scattered, but for once it wasn’t the kind of storyline they foisted too much drama upon. After years of every single function possible being besieged by bullshittery, it’s a relief to see one go off without a real hitch.

The beginning scene with Robert hugging Elizabeth was sweet. I enjoyed the Canfields immensely and am intrigued by Angela’s role in the story long-term (PLEASE let her befriend Allie!). Nathan...eh, I have thoughts—but I’ll talk about that a bit soon. The actual ceremony was cute and kind of fun with the kids singing.

Neat Thing I Noticed:

Continuity? Cat Montgomery is still listed as Emily’s mother. ♥♥♥ I don’t know why but this made me really happy???

Complaint Corner:

Parent-teacher conferences should have been in this show from a much earlier point, and so should graduation have been. If there was a point to this celebration (the first year in a while anyone was old enough to graduate) that would have been a nice touch, too. It just managed to feel sliiiightly out of place.

I’ll forgive the “everyone in town goes to the graduation” thing because this is 1918...something like this would be a whole-town affair IMO. Invite everyone and have a nice get-together/party, probably on a Sunday afternoon after church but Hope Valley does whatever it wants, so...eh.

The threat of merging Hope Valley with other schools doesn’t fit in this scenario and it feels like they ripped it directly out of Tales from Avonlea which was almost rage-inducing to me.

Look, school mergers happened a lot in the early 1900s, especially around the WWI mark, but it wouldn’t be hitting a rural western town just yet. They don’t have any way of getting these kids to other towns for schooling. Where would the next closest school be? It would have to be pretty large and modern to merge multiple schools together.

*Adjusts nerd glasses* This felt forced and completely unnecessary. If anything this guy could be telling Elizabeth that they’re working on building a modern school somewhat close by, and could even have her involved in some decision-making regarding layout. Then they could bring in a “merger” storyline next season without it feeling out of place.

It mostly just felt dramatic for the hell of it, and it was boring, as was this man’s threat that Elizabeth had no right to teach a blind student. As if they’d accept Angela at a better school? As if her parents could afford top tier education for her? PLEASE.

Now it’s time for Nathan. The man chose to go fishing instead of to the parent-teacher conference? It makes him look like a tool. This isn’t about him or about Elizabeth; it’s about Allie. I understand why he didn’t want to go, but he should have done it anyway. It would have taken five minutes of his time.

His flippant attitude annoyed me because it went completely against his character as we know it, but Elizabeth’s lecturing was irritating, too. For a moment I thought we had Lorigail back on the show...

I think Elizabeth was well within her rights to warn Nathan about the effect his work has on his ward, but that inquiry took like a week AT MOST. Heck, let’s be generous and say TWO WEEKS. Allie’s concentration suffered for two weeks. There was no need to say more than, “Hey she worries about you and her work suffered for a bit during that time frame, just so you’re aware.”

I think what annoyed me about the math program thing is that...Elizabeth being a teacher would probably be VERY WELL AWARE that MOST of the parents to her students aren’t good enough at schooling to assist their kids with their homework. I dunno, it just feels out of place for her to tell Nathan that she wants to put Allie in an accelerated “program” and that Allie might need his help with her homework. It’s even more out of place when he admits he used to bribe his sister to do his work for him. Like. It’s very possible he’s not that good at math and isn’t capable of helping. (But maybe that will be a plot down the road...?)

“Or a tutor...” BITCH WHERE IS HE GONNA FIND A TUTOR IN THIS TOWN?! It’s super annoying to see dialogue like this that feels completely out of touch with the reality these people would be living in...lol. But also if she needs a tutor to stay caught up in an advanced program, she probably...shouldn’t be in the advanced program.

I don’t know how to feel about this whole thing here: “Nathan, you are Allie’s world. You’re the only father she’s ever known, and as she grows up you will always be the measure of the quality she’ll look for in a man as she chooses who to marry.”

On one hand, it does fit the situation (he seems to think everything is behind him but Elizabeth’s words are kind of a caution that 1) his actions still have an effect on Allie, and 2) every day he’s teaching her by example). On the other hand, it seems almost wildly inappropriate to bring up? At the same time, it’s probably not wrong that Allie will measure other men (friends, acquaintances, potential future romantic interests) against Nathan’s example.

I dunno. The conversation felt disjointed.

I think what they were going for was Nathan just feeling too awkward and weird about being with Elizabeth to want to be there for the conference, but...he interacted with her quite normally after the inquiry and stuff (even after she’d broken things off with him), so...it feels out of place. Like maybe this should have taken place right after the breakup and not weeks later?

Anyone else have thoughts on this and why it doesn’t feel quite right?

The Dress Shop/Rachel

This plot wasn’t what I would call a waste of time (rather, it’s worth having it mentioned now), but part of it was completely pointless and stupid. The whole Rachel getting lost thing was tacked into the promos to stir up drama, but nothing happened and there was nothing worrisome even going on. YAWN.

Rosemary’s desire to do something meaningful and different with her life is super interesting. I’m very curious to see what they decide to do with her if Dottie does sell the dress shop.

Also, Rosemary finding the book under Rachel’s bed was pretty funny.

But yeah, I didn’t really find much in this plotline to care deeply about. I guess I am pretty interested in knowing who might be purchasing the dress shop and/or if this decision is to bring someone else onto the show (a female love interest for the man who doesn’t win Elizabeth’s heart in the end, or even to bring back an old character*) or to take the dress shop out of the equation entirely... It’s also just as possible that Rosemary/Lee or Clara/Jesse end up buying it themselves down the line... Thoughts?

*I can’t begin to imagine who would be the best fit for this in this case, though. Who would have the money to buy her out?

Postal Service, Ned

Ned is just honestly so cute and fun. I love him. He’s really been doing well this season and seeing him wander around town delivering mail door to door was kind of nice.

Also, he’s one SMOOTH operator! Look at him, talking about putting a bell on the door so that he and Florence won’t be caught off-guard if they’re in the middle of...something.

Oh my, Ned. What might customers be...interrupting? :3

Continuity? Not only was the ulcer from last season brought up, but the horrid cabbage juice was, too. :’) It was a nice touch. And these two had just enough screentime to be kind of fun/interesting without also taking up too much time.

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Nathan got his vacation and Bill is in charge...again. This happens an awful lot. I wonder if it’ll actually impact the next few episodes or if it’s just here for the hell of it.

I love Bill a lot and I want to brag up his character in this episode a bit. I’ve complained many times in the past about him being written like a Grumpy Old Man Yelling at Clouds but this episode was super respectful. He got his scene with his uniform. Nobody interrupted it. There weren’t even any words. I quite liked it.

But it also felt kind of...pointless? I don’t want to judge it too harshly yet. Like the dress shop plotline, this could actually be going somewhere in the next couple of episodes.

Plus, unrelated to the uniform, it was nice to see Bill acting fatherly toward Clara. While it sort of came out of nowhere for the wedding, I appreciate the attempt at continuity there. Plus, so far this season, I’ve felt like Bill’s almost been a father-figure to Clara, Fiona, and even Nathan, so I’m enjoying that a lot.

Carson and Faith

CONTINUITY? The show finally remembered that not only is Carson actually a surgeon, but that was his original passion. It’s not that they completely forgot (S5 had him performing surgery on his sister-in-law, after all), but giving Carson a PASSION makes him a way more interesting character to me.

And also, finally, this feels like a REAL high-stakes plotline for him and for Faith.

I really liked Faith’s take on things. I know, I know, I’ve been rooting at them to break up, but the reason is mostly because they’re just so BORING together. I’d rather watch Henry twirl around in a chair for an hour than suffer through date scenes with these two.

It’s not that I’m against a doctor wife/husband team. I’m not. I just think Faith was a much more interesting and cool character on the show before Carson showed up and usurped her place (and completely overshadowed her for literal seasons). This plotline for Carson might actually be interesting. Like, a fellowship? For modern surgery? IN BALTIMORE?!

I hope this is Faith’s way of saying she wants a break and/or a break would be good for them. I can’t picture her leaving Hope Valley without any trained medical staff, let alone long enough for a fellowship...

But if this goes through, what will they do with it? Would they really write Carson off the show? To be perfectly honest with y’all, I’d be fine with that. At least it’s the type of write-off that makes a lot of good sense (unlike some of the other ones we got). I guess this is just another “wait and see” plotline which is uhh...the theme of this episode, huh? Anyone have thoughts on this?

Henry

Henry barely had any screentime, but I do want to say he is #relateable. The man is back at work for ten seconds and already exhausted. SAME.

Also, I appreciate that he’s ready to be back in the oil business. At what cost? I know people were worried they were gonna kill him off, and I really doubted it, but now I’m starting to wonder where they’re going with this exactly. Yet another wait and see moment LOL!

Elizabeth and Lucas

Some damn fine scenes for Lucas and Elizabeth in this episode. Mostly the scenic ones. :P

I enjoyed the agreement to a date. The horseback riding stuff was pretty cute.

Complaint corner? I don’t know. I have petty complaints. Even though the celebration for the kids was a town-wide event, and therefore Lucas was invited, it still felt out of place to see it brought up. Maybe it should have been mentioned as a town celebration from the start?

Then Lucas’s comment about not wanting to make things awkward for Nathan (who is actually a parent and there) makes a liiiittle more sense. I do think it was good of him to not go, even though he wanted to spend more time with Elizabeth, but it gave off a weird vibe, like, “Look at how good and wholesome Lucas is!” Is that intentional? I’m not...sure...?

For what it’s worth I already felt like Lucas was an honorable person in this regard. He loaned Nathan money, after all. Maybe he should have told Elizabeth he views Nathan as a friend and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings unnecessarily and/or if he was there he’d want to hog her all to himself or something cheesy. Hm.

My other complaints are:

Elizabeth running to the saloon would be WAY faster than all this getting set up at her house...?? Who thought this made sense?

Elizabeth’s dress looked like a nightie she bought at Kohls.

Too many damn candles.

Characters Do What Plot Dictates Even Though Plot Makes No Sense. More at 11:00!!

I have no further comments on the dress. It needed sleeves or something so it looked more like a dress and not like a nightgown/piece of lingerie.

I think the candles might have been on purpose to parallel Jack...but I hated it lol. Fire hazard? HAVEN’T ENOUGH THINGS IN TOWN BURNED DOWN/EXPLODED?!

I didn’t hate the date scene! But I never feel like Elizabeth has any meaningful conversations with Lucas and it’s starting to drive me batty.

Could we get uhhh something of substance please? It has to be surface-level nonsense on purpose. Right? RIGHT?

(And no, discussing a book for ten seconds on-screen is not “intelligent conversation” okay...?)

It’s really a shame because I’m starting to actually warm up to Lucas a little bit in this season but it feels like the conversations are just...kind of stilted and she’s not really into dating him—just agreeing to it because he’s the only option.

And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...he deserves better than that.

Don’t get me wrong, by the way. If it’s part of the story and it’s revealed as such down the road, I’ll be fine with it...but I always worry they’ll just skip important relationship milestones and/or important conversations and expect us all to just accept it.

Kiiiiiind of looking forward to the rainy date scene in the next episode, though. I’m Team Nathan mostly but I’m keeping an open mind and I think I might actually enjoy it. Hopefully they’ll get some good scenes together that don’t feel like this one did.

Clara's Dilemma

Clara’s fears about running the salon without Fiona...are legit. LOL.

Also, this little bit was funny (between Mike and Jesse and Bill):

Anyway, if Clara was that worried about it, she should have just...told Fiona no? I hope it comes up down the road. Poor Molly??

I genuinely don’t know how I feel about Clara and Jesse’s involvement in this episode. I guess it was okay. I liked Clara’s scenes with Bill. I thought the idea of Clara and Jesse buying into the cafe was a nice one. Jesse having “invested” their money and lost it all, though... They did a similar plot with other people in what...Season 5 was it? Or was that the start of S6? He didn’t even say what he invested it in? But he admits the money is all gone?

I think that’s what was missing from that scene. “I invested it in X, hoping to make us more money, but it didn’t work out and we lost everything.”

I’m not going to criticize Jesse’s characterization, only because sometimes character "growth” doesn’t happen for the better of anyone involved. My biggest worry here is that it’ll be solved by the end of next episode....but I hope that’s not it.

Like, I think they did better with Frank and Abigail if we’re going to talk about a man who didn’t know how to live like he was in a committed relationship. It made more sense with Frank, too, being older and single most of his life. His bouts of selfishness felt realistic.

Jesse feels like he’s somehow getting worse and worse as a person as the show goes on. I’m kind of at a point where I hope he and Clara divorce, because he’s so damn selfish it’s embarrassing. He’s off having a beer while his wife works multiple jobs? And then he has the audacity to act like they should save money when he just blew all their savings?

I’m sure it’ll work out fine but I hope Clara puts herself in charge of the finances at the very least.

As to investing failures, I liked how they did that with Henry and Abigail. That was the kind of tension and worry that felt natural to me—like she trusted him with her money after he’d proven himself untrustworthy ten million times throughout the years, and he failed and had to uhh admit that.

Jesse straight up betrayed Clara. Which, if it’s dealt with in a satisfying way...I think can be a good plotline. I just worry about it actually being dealt with properly. That’s a huge stumbling block in a relationship. And why is he continually getting worse as a person? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it.

Gasp... it’s almost like it’s just plot because they feel like they have to give someone something every damn episode.

Which brings me to THE FINAL

COMPLAINT CORNER (The Big Boy™ Complaints)

The show has really struggled with finding its footing. I wish they’d take notes from better shows with ensemble casts (cough cough Road to Avonlea cough) without also ripping off their storylines (cough school merges cough).

My #1 complaint at this point in Season 8 is the SHEER AMOUNT OF THINGS GOING ON EVERY EPISODE.

I want continuity, so I want to see things happen naturally over a season, but my God do we not need to have mindless pointless crap in the episode. Rachel getting “lost” for ten seconds wasted literal MINUTES of screen time that would have been MUCH better allocated to basically anyone else in this episode.

And I don’t think it would bother me so much if it wasn’t also shoved into the promo like it was supposed to matter. It didn’t matter. Nobody cares. Why was it allowed to stay in the episode alongside stuff like Clara and Bill’s conversation?

Or Lucas and Carson’s?

I think they want to appease all the fans in every episode by giving them scenes of their favorites, but what did Henry sitting in his chair accomplish in this episode? Rachel getting lost? Jack not sleeping well/missing his mom? The school superintendent?

Did Bill trying on his uniform have to be in this episode? Did Jesse and Clara’s problems have to come fully to light right now?

When every episode is formatted like this, with 10 plotlines all interconnected slightly and going on at the same time, I feel like...nobody gets the spotlight they deserve when they deserve it.

I cANNOT believe I’m saying this, but this plotline for Carson, especially if it will end with him leaving the show for a while or permanently should get the focus it deserves. But it won’t if we get tiny snips of it here and there and then BOOM decision made because Reasons.

And again, I know I’ve said before that I want more continuity throughout the season, but... the best way to do that is to tighten up the plots. Have fewer of them per season and give more screentime to the ones you choose to pursue.

Anyway, I’m still enjoying the season, but I hope they keep some of this kind of stuff in mind for next season. They don’t need plotlines for everyone in every episode. They need the plotlines they choose to write to be worth their screentime.

Sorry this was sloppily written and all that. Hopefully it makes sense. Very curious to see y’alls thoughts. Feel free to make your own posts and @ me, or reblog this or comment!

#when calls the heart #long post #season 8 spoilers #season 8 shenanigans #analysis and meta discussion #character studies and information

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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Sen Çal Kapımı / Edser Anon asks for Episode 42

Good asks again for this episode and I got very wordy when answering.

Find asks and answers under the cut...

Anonymous asked: Hey, Liza! How did you like the ep? I loved that Eda was the one to tell him the truth and and also liked how they kept us intrigued about who will tell Serkan, Eda or our private investigators Aydan, Engin and co (although they should have gone to Eda first, it's not their secret after all). I wish, of course, that the writers would show us the scene where Serkan was telling Kiraz those sweet things she mentioned to Eda, but I guess it was done on purpose for the dramatic end of the ep. Why do you think Serkan didn't pick up any clues about his daughter? I mean, Ayse always wrote him as a smart guy. Perhaps, he felt that Kiraz is his but was afraid to face the truth? What do you think? I just hope that we hear Serkan's pov in the next ep!! and they taaaaalk!

I did like a lot of things about the episode, but some parts were a bit frustrating to watch. Not frustrating like the amnesia times where I felt sick and just wanted the episode over, nothing like that. I still enjoyed watching and the time moved quickly, but it was frustrating to watch them both be so DENSE.

Serkan. Come on, the obvious is staring him in the face. As you say, he’s a smart dude, so why isn’t he putting this together? And it was frustrating that we still don’t know anything from his perspective. Why is he the way that he is when it comes to children!?!? That is the question. IF (a big if) they go the route of him not thinking he can have children after his treatments that would go a long way to explaining why it never occurs to him that he’s her father. However, we don’t know if they’re going to go that way or not, if they don’t I guess we’re just supposed to believe he’s so distracted by Eda that he can’t see what’s blatantly obvious to everyone else?

What was even more frustrating, though, was that Eda was so obtuse when it came to Serkan Look, from Eda’s perspective I get the notion of wanting to make sure Serkan would be open to a child before telling him. However, the only thing worse than Serkan finding out about Kiraz and outright rejecting her is Serkan finding out and him being angry at what he’s lost and proving Eda wrong by embracing Kiraz as his own. In that scenario Eda has to face how wrong she’s been and how she’s deprived both Serkan and Kiraz (and herself) of a vitally important relationship. That’s A LOT. So I can see why Eda was invested in Option C: the secret remains intact.

So I think in this episode she was seeing what she wanted to see. Or what the worst version of herself wanted to see. Eda is a very good person, but I think she wanted to find reasons not to tell him in order to justify the lies she’s told. Also I think there was part of her that just couldn’t handle hoping that he would want to be a part of their lives. She wanted to shut it down before he could get any further under her skin.

Any way you slice it, though, her unwillingness to see Serkan and Kiraz’s growing bond is a bit selfish. On the other hand she’s not really thinking straight. She has Serkan back in her life, discombobulating her, engaging her heart, confusing her, bringing up all those old powerful feelings. She has Kiraz pining for her father while forming an attachment with a man who happens to be said father. She has Ayfer, Melo, Burak and even Kerem pressuring her in different ways and Ayfer full on judging her. Plus she has Aydan sniffing around.

With all of that I think we can forgive her for not thinking straight, she must be pretty stressed out. However, that still doesn’t really excuse her actions this ep.

Which brings us to her testing him. Seriously? Putting aside the fact that she’s making the man unwittingly prove to her that he deserves to know something that is his unalienable right to know, what was that test? Let me get this straight, when Eda, who is an experienced single mother, has to take an important call she sends Kiraz away, but when Serkan, who is not experienced with children and not used to them, is on an important call he’s supposed to gracefully navigate having a 5-year-old he barely knows climb all over him? And that’s the litmus test for whether he gets to know he’s a father? A test Eda wouldn’t even take herself? WTF?

So bizarre. So Serkan didn’t pass that test, but Eda also either doesn’t see or refuses to see "good” moments. Serkan is at the pool, pretty much at Kiraz’s command, blowing up her floaties, attempting to fix her hair. The guy doesn’t know what’s going on but he’s still willing to sit there and humor this kid and that should have been enough for Eda. Then she walks up when they’re sitting in the garden and it doesn’t occur to her that for quite some time Serkan Bolat has been successfully entertaining a 5-year-old girl he thinks belongs to Melo. When Eda arrives they are seated together, Kiraz is in good spirits, she’s sitting on an extra cushion, which she clearly didn’t get herself, but this very unSerkan-like moment doesn’t count in Serkan’s favor? Could she have ever imagined Serkan spending that kind of time with a random child? Why is this not registering with her! Oh because she doesn’t want it to.

And again at the end of the episode Eda walked up to find Serkan crouching down on Kiraz’s level having a full conversation with their daughter while no one else was around. But that interaction also doesn’t weigh with her?

So what exactly was Eda wanting to see? Is there even a way Serkan could have unwittingly proven himself? Did he need to say, “Golly gee, Eda, I wish Kiraz was our daughter” in order to unlock the secret level that lets him know he’s a father?

And for this nonsense we must blame the writers. They clearly wanted the dramatic 11th hour reveal from Kiraz that Serkan had been bonding with her and for Eda to make the decision at the last minute to turn back and tell him. But her leaving at all was incomprehensible to me. At the point that she decided to go, Piril had told her that Aydan and Engin were onto her and knew that Kiraz was Serkan’s daughter. Her excuse that if she left maybe they’d forget about it? Has the character of Eda ever uttered a dumber line? No seriously? She thinks Aydan is going to figure out she has a granddaughter, that Serkan’s flesh and blood is out there and she’s going to let it go? Engin too? Good grief, Eda is not that clueless to think her moronic plan would work out. This episode asked for a lot of suspension of disbelief, too much when it came to Eda’s actions.

However, I must say running away is entirely in Eda’s character, she’s done that many times. So, having said all that, I do feel for Eda. She’s raised Kiraz as a single mother and done all of this by herself for a long time. And I can only imagine how disheartening it was to have Serkan aggressively pursuing her all episode, but when they have a real moment on the pier after reading the message in a bottle, he immediately dismisses the idea of having children. In light of what was on her mind, I can see why that was devastating to her and made her want to flee.

The thing is there has to be a reason why Serkan is so adamant. He’s now past whatever depression and PTSD he might have been suffering from after the treatments, and he also now knows what it’s like to actually lose Eda and he knows he wants her back... so why is he still so adamant that he doesn’t want children after wanting them before? We are in desperate need of his perspective on this, and I hope both the audience, and Eda, get it. It’s too cruel to her not knowing why and just thinking he hates the idea of kids with her that much.

Thank goodness Eda got to him to tell him before Engin or Aydan. I’m not sure what either one of them thought they were doing, just going to spring the news on him without putting any thought into it, I guess. Yes, they shouldn’t hide it from him, but the reveal can wait until morning until they can figure out a plan to confront Eda and force her hand or whatever else they need to do.

Those final moments were intense, the dramatic effect they were clearly going for was there. It was such a relief to hear Kiraz tell her mother how she had bonded with Serkan and gotten to know him. That girl is smarter than the rest of them combined, I wouldn't be surprised if she knows. Or at least hopes; there’s a reason she’s so attached to him and that she wanted him to be able to find them. However, it would have been much more impactful if we’d actually seen those moments. Either in real time or as flashbacks when Kiraz is talking. I’m not sure why they didn’t do that.

The final scene struck the right emotional chord for such a heavy confession, and I’m very anxious to see what happens next!

Anonymous asked: Hello, Liza:) What are the things you liked most and least in the episode?

Let’s see...

LIKED

Scenery - The visuals of this season are stunning.

Hande & Kerem - They both continue to delivery great performance and their chemistry is always on fire. They transform every scene given to them to a winner. They were particularly good in the bottle scene.

Edser - I watch this show for their scenes and even when there’s a huge lie and secret between them, their scene are always fun to watch. Loved Serkan suddenly playing aloof after the kiss and loved that Eda couldn’t leave him alone.

Kiraz/Maya - What a joy she is to watch. This could have gone so wrong with an overly precocious child, but she’s so cute and she plays so well off not only Hande and Kerem, but everyone she works with.

Kiraz/Serkan - Every second they’re on screen together is wonderful. PS - All I want from this show is after Kiraz finds out is for her to fasten herself to Serkan koala-hug style and just refuse to let go.

The paternity hijinks -I know, I know, there was too much time spent on supporting characters this episode, but there was some funny stuff when it came to Engin, Erdem, Aydan and Seyfi trying to sleuth their way to the truth. I actually found the mistaken toothbrush to be funny. Come on, Engin, you don’t know your own kid’s toothbrush? I also enjoyed the little nod to shattering gender stereotypes. The melodrama of them believing Engin was the father and accusing him of betraying both Piril and Serkan was dumb but hilarious. Then it got even better with the four of them wrestling each other in slow mo to try to get to the lock of hair first... I laughed out loud.

Pina/Kerem - Cuties. Poor things, they’ll also have to overcome meddling relatives, misunderstandings and miscommunication. I also liked Pina figuring out that Serkan is in love with Eda.

Liked... less

Screen time - I felt the lack of Edser screen time this week. We need more Edser! Much more. It feels like they are not taking the opportunity to let their scenes breath. Each interaction is so short. Hopefully, once we’re past the secret keeping portion they can elongate some of their scenes and not always have one of them rushing away.

Production quality - While there were some beautiful shots this episode, there were a few scenes that were lackluster when it comes to the efforts of the crew. The pool scene is one. I get that they probably planned to shoot that outside in Sile, but weather got in the way and they ended up shooting at an interior in Istanbul, but still, the angles were cramped and they did not make the most of having both Hande and Kerem in the water. Plus they cut the shot of Serkan walking towards her, shirtless and smirking. WHY?

Additionally, the camera angles and editing on the fainting scene were pretty subpar. We got a better view of that scene from the fan hiding behind a wall with an iphone! From said fan we can see that the crew would have had plenty of room to move and to get proper angles, but instead we got a 30 second scene where they didn’t make use of the setting, the camera was so zoomed in you couldn’t see anything and still their faces were pretty obscured. Not Altan, Hakan and crew’s best work, that’s for sure.

Eda’s lies, tests and leaving - I chronicled this above, but the show isn’t doing her any favors. I think the writers think they are making her sympathetic (they are to a certain degree) but it’s not enough to justify her behavior. I’m really excited to get past this phase and hopefully to one where she’s not trapped in lies to the people she loves most.

Ayfer - Can she stay in Sile when the action moves back to Istanbul? Or better yet go back to Italy? She is absolutely insufferable and when she was smugly smiling and telling Serkan he’d missed Eda I wanted to slap her across the face. At least Eda finally got tetchy with her when she was continuously pushing her towards Burak. Eda was right! Burak can see that Eda isn’t interested in him, why can’t Ayfer and Melo see it?

Burak - Seriously this dude has the charisma of a paper weight. I still can’t wrap my head around him thinking he has a shot with someone like Eda. And what was his little squirmish with Serkan? Like, dude, you have no idea of the history and dynamics at work, you also have no idea who you’re dealing with, but if you’re going to start something at least see it through. Instead he slinks away after making a few haughty remarks under his breath. Real tough. So far he’s not good enough for Melo, so I don’t know how they’re going to make him interesting enough for her.

Anonymous asked: hi! do you like how Serkan's character shown this season? tbh I expected at least some of his pov explained, not just "we don't need to have kids, Eda," "my work is my only responsibility," etc. As to his "infamous" line in the fragman, I hope it is taken out of context and will lead to a meaningful conversation between EdSer about Serkan's genuine fears (cause c'mon, finding out that you have a 5-year-old kid is kinda overwhelming), but I don't trust writers anymore lol. They keep picturing Serkan as a bad guy. How do you think he will react and act in the next epi?

I don’t think they are depicting him as the bad guy. I mean are you walking away from the episodes thinking he’s the bad guy? I’m not. In the flashbacks, there were some when he was upset and angry and clearly they’ve let us know he’s the reason they separated, but it’s also been clear that there’s more to the story we just haven’t heard it yet.

Agreed that we’re over due for his POV and an explanation of why he did what he did, but I have to assume it’s coming in the next episode. In that episode he’s going to be grappling with a pretty huge thing, he’s just learned a secret that will turn his life upside down. And as anxious as we’ve been to find out why he broke up with Eda, learning he’s a father is probably the perfect time to flashback and tell us why he abruptly decided he didn’t want a family with her all those years ago and set all of this in motion.

There has to be a reason, and I think we’ll find out this week. If we don’t, then the writers will have pushed it too far. However, Ayse answered a tweet a few weeks ago saying that she loved Serkan as much as Eda and that he has reasons too. So fingers crossed we find out what those reasons are sooner rather than later.

Anonymous asked: so I've really tried to remain neutral here because I know they both had their reasons during the breakup but in this last episode, Eda kinda rubbed me the wrong way and while sure it was her right to tell Serkan the secret, I was rooting for Aydan and Engin to do it by the end because she really was about to escape town without saying anything until our sweet Kiraz spilled last minute. I didn't care who told him at that point, I just needed SOMEONE to!

This is an understandable reaction. The writers really did Eda no favors this episode. I guess this episode was her journey to accepting the fact that Serkan is back in her life and will need to know about their daughter. And her daughter deserves to know about Serkan. She’s been living a huge lie for 5 years, so it’s a bit understandable that she’s having trouble letting it go. They just got a little clumsy telling that story.

But we love Eda, we won’t hold it against her, will we?

Anonymous asked: Can we talk about how this 5-yr-old girl is the one who understands Serkan the most? and they just met? and they don't know they're related? she wanted him to find her?!?!! and when Eda tried to tell her that Serkan didn't care about her, she gave the best clapback and defended her dad. 👏 She is the true hero of this love!

She is the true hero of their family! Leaving her shoe for him to find, being able to articulate to her mother how he really did take an interest in her, got to know her, and even confided in her. Smart girl. She was able to see what her mother could or would not.

Kiraz does seem to understand him and his gruffness doesn’t faze her at all, on the contrary she just stands up to him and gives the sass back to him. Like I said last week, he challenges her in a way she’s not used to because all the adults in her life just let her run wild with little discipline or accountability and just give her whatever she wants. But she also challenges him in a big way, and in the next episode I think we’ll see him facing her existence as the biggest challenge of his life.

The scene when Serkan teaches her how to apologize (the irony!) and make amends was especially great. As we saw in the season premiere when Burak was dismissive and haughty with a customer rather than rightly reminding Kiraz to apologize for knocking over Serkan’s water, Kiraz, as I said above, is surrounded by adults that dote, but think she does no wrong so they don’t always model proper behavior. What a relief to see a contrite Kiraz and Serkan being patient and taking the time with her. And the hug! Awwww. “Are we really strangers, Serkan Bolat?” was a perfect line.

Anonymous asked: Heey! What are your thoughts on the fragman? Cause now I'm a bit afraid to watch the next ep... but I think Serkan can be understood; like day ago he told Eda that they didn't need kids, so I guess it would be weird if he was all excited to know that they have a daughter. But idk... I just want Kiraz to have her dad back with her, she wants him so much!!! and the girl is so smart, like I know that is unlikely, but I think she figured it out on her own that Serkan might be her dad! Offf, I love her. I just hope Serkan's "I'm not ready to be a dad" is in the first half of the epi, and then it is him being afraid but doing his best to get close to Kiraz cause we already saw how he liked her. After all, it seems like the end of the epi will be Kiraz's b-day, and Nesli said that the end will be very sweet and emotional.

I think the next episode is Serkan’s story of becoming a father, and by the end of the episode we’ll see him stepping up and accepting his role and hopefully fully embracing it.

We’ll see how he reacts but at some point he obviously says, “I’m not ready to be a father.” I just hope it’s more, “I’m not ready to be a father, so let’s hold off on telling Kiraz for now” and not “I’m not ready to be a father, so I’m planning on ghosting the both of you.” My guess is that scene is maybe midway through the episode? Like maybe he finds out, freaks out, then he decides it’s too much right now, and says that to Eda, but by the end he figures out his business and thus the sweet and emotional ending. I mean what else could a sweet and emotional ending be for an episode about Serkan finding out he’s a father?

We also know from the IG live on premiere day that Kerem was out of sorts and in a bad mood after filming an “intense” scene for this episode, and that Hande’s hair in that live matches her hair in the “I’m not ready to be a father scene.” So that’s either the scene or a scene probably before or after it on the same day, so I think we’ll need to emotionally prepare to be put through the wringer. However, I don’t think there’s anything to fear in watching it. This season’s storyline is about them becoming a family, so just remember that’s what’s going to happen

As for Serkan’s mindset, it’s understandable if at first he feels overwhelmed and not up to the job. This is a man who did not have a good father role model, doesn't think he’s worthy of love, and finding out Eda had their child and didn’t tell him is going to make him think that Eda doesn’t think he’s worthy either. Think of that from his perspective, he might have pushed her away and said he didn’t want children, but she is the one who decided that their daughter would be better off not knowing him. At least that’s how he’s probably going to take her secrecy, and I can’t really blame him for that. That would be a blow to anyone, but Serkan Bolat will take it especially hard. After all she actually loved him and knew him best, so if that person doesn’t think he’s fit, that’s not going to help his confidence or allow him to think he has anything to offer a child.

Obviously he’ll come around and quickly in the scheme of things, it’s just going to take approximately 2 hours for him to do it.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #Edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac #sck 2x03 #sck 2x42 #anonymous #serkan bolat #eda yıldız

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swaps55 · 3 years

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5 Favorites

5 favorite snippets from 5 reasonably recent stories. Or whatever. Rules are mere suggestions.

Tagged by @nug-juggler. Thank you! I love sharing snippets.

Tagging @pigeontheoneandonly, @shadoedseptmbr, @forlornmelody, @nightmarestudio606 and anyone who’s interested, no obligations!

1. From Cantata, Chapter 3 – Welcome to the Fire:

Shepard halts, pivots, corona blazing forth once more. He says something Kaidan doesn’t understand, but the mercenary pauses, then chortles and breaks into a sprint.

Anyone in their right mind would have quailed at the sight of a charging krogan. Shepard grins.

It’s feral.

Confident.

And utterly unafraid.

His fists curl. The gravity well somersaults as Shepard channels a maelstrom of dark energy. Kaidan sucks in a sharp breath, the sheer force of it enough to make him dizzy.

The krogan’s shotgun blares. Every hair on Kaidan’s arms stands on end as Shepard forms a wall of shearing mass effect fields and slams it into the krogan, shoulder jerking as his kinetic barriers absorb the full brunt of the shotgun blast.

The krogan bellows as the shearing fields chew through him. The shotgun drops from rigid fingers and clatters to the ground. Shepard races forward, own shotgun booming as fast as he can pull the trigger. When it overheats he casts it aside, and to Kaidan’s sheer horror, attacks the krogan with his bare hands.

He lands one hit, then two, using his smaller size and quickness to his advantage in ways Kaidan had only dreamed of when he and Shepard had their impromptu sparring session a week ago. Still, the krogan nearly makes it back to his feet before Shepard seizes the barrel of the massive shotgun, jerks it up into the krogan’s throat, then flips it around and fires point blank into the krogan’s uncovered head. Blood, grey matter and bone spray outward. The recoil kicks hard into Shepard’s shoulder, the same one that had already bled off the shotgun pellets.

Holy fuck.

2. From “The Words That Change Us”

Kaidan falls silent. Fuck his implant. Fuck the faulty wiring in his head. Fuck not remembering to bring his own damn meds. If only Anderson could see this. Keep Shepard on his feet my ass. Can’t even keep myself on my feet.

“Anderson thanked me today,” Kaidan says, cracking an eye open. Every ship in the Alliance is practically a darkroom. Why the hell is Arcturus so bright? He sucks air in through his teeth. “Can’t figure out why.”

Shepard gives him a bemused look. “No wonder you have a migraine.”

“Stop trying to be funny,” Kaidan grunts. “It gives me a migraine.”

“I’m delightfully funny,” Shepard informs him, “which you might notice if you weren’t so busy thinking yourself into a migraine.”

Kaidan tries to laugh, but immediately regrets it. Shepard tightens his grip on Kaidan’s arm.

“See? Funny.”

“You’re deflecting.”

“Quit noticing."

“Shepard.” It comes out as a mumble, and the way Shepard’s fingers dig into his forearm before relaxing suggests he’s listening now. “He said I keep you on your feet. Why would he say that?”

Shepard’s brow furrows. Instead of answer, he gets to his feet and pulls Kaidan back to his. “How about we get the icepick out of your head, and then talk about this.”

“No. If we talk about it now you’ll take pity and actually give me an answer.”

Shepard huffs, grips Kaidan’s arm and resumes course, footsteps slow and steady.

“I didn’t do anything to help you earn this,” Kaidan persists. “Why does he think I did?”

More silence. More steps. Each footfall ricochets off the deckplates, pricking at the base of Kaidan’s skull. Where the fuck is the airlock? It feels like they’ve been walking for hours.

“You’re stable ground,” Shepard says at last.

Stable ground. Maybe if his head wasn’t throbbing so hard he could figure out what the hell that means.

“You don’t…want anything from me,” Shepard continues. His voice is small, uncertain, as though now that he’s voiced the thought aloud he might find out it isn’t true.

It isn’t true.

You. I want you.

3. From Sonata, Chapter 10 - Unsteady

There are more well-dressed people in this one room than Joker has seen in his entire lifetime. It should be his worst nightmare, but he’s actually having fun. Turns out Tali has an exceptional gift for making unbearable social occasions bearable.

“And what about her?” Joker asks, pointing to a woman who looks like a canary covered in taffeta.

Tali leans against the table beside him and tilts her head, the purple and black sequined scarf that Mrs. Alenko had given her for the evening catching in the bright lights of the ballroom.

“Hmmm. A widower. Discovered her husband of more than thirty years had gambled away their entire fortune, leaving her penniless. She is here to mourn—not him, but his brother. The man she was truly in love with. She thought he did not love her back, but the truth is that he was too afraid to tell her. After his brother’s death, he swore he would, but he went down with the Cairo before he had the chance.”

“Damn, Tali, that’s dark,” Joker says with a chuckle. “You got a happy one? How about that guy?” He points to a random stranger who’s sipping a glass of wine and laughing too hard.

She swirls the liquid in her glass. Forget the geth. This is where she really shines.

“He professed his love to…” she scans the room. Eventually she points at another well-dressed man, who looks absolutely no different from any of the rest as far as Joker is concerned. “That man over there. They are desperately in love, but he,” she points again at the new guy, “is afraid of his feelings. He has a dark past, and doesn’t want to drag his true love down with his demons.”

“Happy, Tali. I was looking for happy.”

She raises her glass. “A few spins on the dancefloor and he’s going to realize that pushing him away will only snap them back together. Like quarks.”

Joker clinks his glass against hers. “That’s my girl.”

4. From Fugue, Chapter 4 – This Hole You Left

But while most of the galaxy is preparing to mourn Commander Shepard, the soldier standing next to him might be the only person he knows who’s grieving for Sam. Anderson swirls the remaining liquid in his glass.

“He was the most reckless SOB I’ve ever met,” Anderson says, watching a hanar drift along one of the intact pathways below them. “I’m pretty sure half the shit he pulled over the years was just to piss me off.”

Alenko raises an eyebrow ever so slightly in surprise, but doesn’t turn his head. “He’s always at his best when the plan goes to hell.”

“Since he was a kid,” Anderson agrees, not missing the fact that Alenko had referred to him in the present tense. “First time I ever laid eyes on him he was four. He’d wandered away from Daniel on Arcturus and he called in the cavalry to look for him. You know where I found him?”

Alenko shakes his head.

“In a fountain, playing with a model ship. I asked him what the hell his spaceship was doing in the water. He said, ‘I’m about to find out.’”

Alenko’s mouth curves in a brittle smile. “I didn’t know you knew him that young.”

“I doubt he remembered,” Anderson says. “His father and I were good friends. I dropped in on occasion while he was growing up.” Before Shepard was a soldier. Before he was the Butcher of Torfan or the Savior of the Citadel. Back when he was still Sam, all knees and elbows, so desperate to please he couldn’t sit still.

Anderson still misses that kid.

5. From “The Way Back”

“You have a gun, Shepard, and it shoots mass-accelerated projectiles a hell of a lot more efficiently than you can shoot yourself. That was a titanic amount of energy you put out. How in the hell do you justify the cost of that on your own body?”

“Because it saved your life,” he snaps, dropping the barrel extension onto the bench with a clatter. “She had your head in her crosshairs, and I put her the fuck down. So yeah, it was worth the cost.”

Kaidan falls silent.

Shepard shoots him a reproachful look. “You know, I didn’t miss your fucking lectures.”

Kaidan holds his gaze, retort right on the tip of his tongue. Shepard shouldn’t need a lecture to know that fucking with his own mass as a combat tactic was reckless, stupid, and above all, unnecessary. But he did need one. And someone willing to get in his way long enough to do it.

Wasn’t that part of what had always made them so good together? Shepard charging into a china shop like a bull, with Kaidan standing at the door waving his arms? Shepard would run through him as often as he stopped or swerved, but no matter how it ended Kaidan was there to help him pick up the pieces.

He softens. “Yeah, well, I did miss what a complete idiot you are sometimes. You could have, just, I don’t know. Knocked me to the ground. Or knocked her to the ground. Using her own mass.”

Shepard’s brow furrows and he opens his mouth to protest before he sighs in defeat. “Yeah. Ok. That probably would have worked, too.”

Kaidan’s smile deepens. “You always did prefer theatrics out in the field.”

“Me?” Shepard huffs and pokes at the pieces of the Carnifex, chin low to hide his own smile. “Okay, maybe I occasionally enjoy a small flair for the dramatic.”

“Small. You call turning yourself into the most impractical mass-accelerated weapon I could conceive of small.”

Shepard’s smile turns into a smirk. “Say whatever you want. But just imagine being that sniper getting an eyeful of me coming right at her. That’s the kind of fear of god she’s not going to forget anytime soon.”

“You put a shotgun round point blank into her head. She forgot it pretty quick.”

#snippet #mshenko #mememe #tried to pick snippets with a variety of flavors #combat!#pining!#banter!#angst!#biotics!#oh my!

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1131

survey by lilprincess

Approx. Time you began this survey: 6:46 on a Wednesday evening.

Describe your mood right now: Erm, a bit exhausted because I just ended a work shift; but content for the same reason. Right now I’m simply looking forward to dinner and crashing on the couch or my bed, wherever I feel like sleeping tonight.

Spell your first name without vowels: Rbn. Let’s just also remove y for this one.

Age you will be on your next birthday: 23.

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Do you believe what your horoscope says about your sign? I do not believe in astrology whatsoever.

What state/region do you live in? Somewhere in the Philippines somewhere close to Metro Manila.

Height: Like 5′1″ ish. I had a massive growth spurt in 4th grade that also ended in 4th grade, which will always be a funny story to tell people lmao. I went from being placed at the back of the class line to the front really quickly.

Do you smoke? Super occasionally. My last cigarette was like...all the way back in February last year. It was easier to hide the smell around my family before, but because my parents and siblings have mostly been staying at home in the last year it would be so easy to weed out the smell. I never feel like smoking anyway since I vape, so there’s been no reason to seek it out.

Do you drink? Yeah, sometimes socially and sometimes on my own if I wanna unwind and feel a lil buzz come through.

What's your ethnic background? Southeast Asian, specifically Filipino.

What's your religious background? Technically my ~background~ would be Catholic since I was born and baptized in that faith, but I’ve long let go of this. Excluding one very brief period in high school, religion was something I never held much belief and faith in, even if I've been taken to literally every Sunday mass for the last 23 years and even if I was enrolled in Catholic school from preschool to high school.

What's your natural hair color? Black.

What;s your natural eye color? Dark brown, almost black.

Do you have any bad habits you want to break? I do overtime work a lot but used to seldom file it on our company shift log sheet because I get shy that they must think I’m doing it just to be paid more, lol. I’m starting to file them every time I do OT though because fuck it, pay me.

Name a few of your positive habits. I like that I always find a way to meet deadlines. I like that I’m selfless, even though some would see it as a flaw. I’d rather do too much than say I never did anything at all.

Have you ever lived in a foreign country? No, the most I’ve done was travel to one for a week.

Did you vote in the Nov. 6 2012 presidential election? No because I am not American -___- The last election that took place before I was eligible was in 2010, and had I been able to vote then, I would’ve given mine to Gibo Teodoro, who I believe was the most qualified at the time.

Are you even eligible to vote? Yeah, I’ve been for the last 5 years. I’ve voted twice - once for the presidential elections back in 2016, and the next was for the senatorial elections in 2019.

Are you right handed or left handed? Right-handed.

When you write, is your penmanship usually neat or do you tend to scribble? It starts off neat for the most part, but it gradually gets messy and becomes more like a scribble if we’re talking about writing several essays in one sitting, which was usually the case in my exams in college.

Have you ever experienced an accident? (of any type): Sure, I’ve been in car accidents before. I’ve also been shocked once.

Do you have/want children? They would be nice to have, yeah.

Are you environmentally conscious? For the most part, yeah. But there are some things that can’t be helped, like me driving. Unless the government does something about the shitty public transport system that we have and have had for decades, I refuse to take it.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? Like I said, my own car. If I’m traveling, by plane.

Do you prefer 80's - 90's music compared to today's music? Eh, not at all. I prefer music produced these days.

Are you more of an introvert (quiet/shy), or extrovert (social butterfly)? I’ve been more of an extrovert in the last few years but I will always be shy at first upon meeting new people, like that will never change. I warm up a lot quickly now, though.

What's your favorite emoticon? :)

Do you miss the good old days of hand-written letters? I caught the super super super last part of this era, so I didn’t even get to experience it. I know snail mail was still kind of a thing when I was a kid, but at the same time that was happening my mom was also already using email to keep in touch with my dad, so.

Nowadays, though, when I do write letters to loved ones, I will still prefer to make handwritten ones, especially for a significant other or best friend. I don’t think I’ve ever sent out a computerized long letter.

Do you enjoy receiving or giving more? Giving, but it’s nice to be treated too sometimes.

Are you good at keeping secrets? Sure.

Do you take or give advice more often? I don’t usually get into situations wherein I’d have to do either, but I think I’ve been asking for advice more, especially over the last few months.

Do you have your driver's license? “I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always talked about...” Haha this question made me sing a bit. Anyway, yeah, I got it shortly after I turned 18 since I needed to quickly learn before college started.

Would you rather be poor & happy or rich but miserable? Rich but miserable. Soz but I’d solve 4854983594857 of my problems if I never had to worry about money.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Never.

Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Probably not blocked, but I’ve unfollowed some current Facebook friends and unfriended others entirely.

Do you think recreational marijuana should be nationally legalized? Idk much about the topic since it’s taboo enough where I live, but sure, I guess?I haven’t heard one bad word about the effects of marijuana.

Describe your perfect first date. I’ve never really had a first date, but I imagine an ideal one would be pretty lowkey, just a stroll around a nice city and maybe have fancyish dinner somewhere.

Have you ever been high? Nope.

Have you ever watched a NC-17 rated film? Sure. A good handful of Kubrick films pass for NC-17, right? I’d be surprised if they weren’t, lol. I’ve been scarred by some of them for sure.

If you ever become reincarnated as an animal, what would you want it to be? A dog.

Do you remember where you were/what you were doing on September 11, 2001? No; I was 2 years old. I did ask my parents where they were in those moments, and my mom understandably missed most of it since the entire thing unfolded in the late evening in the Philippines. The only thing she can recall was being insanely worried for my dad, who had just started to work in the US back then.

Do you ever wish you were of a different nationality/religion? Yeah, to a certain extent, just because the political and socioeconomic situation here is very messy and it doesn’t really give us the nicest reputation in front of the world. I’m proud of my Filipino culture and heritage though.

Are you more of a junk food addict or health nut? Health nut is the last thing anyone should be calling me. But I’m not so much a junk food addict either? I do like spoiling myself with food, but I still monitor my intake.

Do you believe Antarctica should be considered the 7th world continent? Isn’t it already though?? We’ve always been taught there were 7 continents and Antarctica is one of them lol.

Describe your own sense of humor in 1 word: Gen-Z, if that counts as one word.

Have you ever quoted the Bible (or any other Holy Book)? If I ever did it was probably meant to be sarcasm.

Have you ever completed a Sudoku puzzle? No. Never figured out how to play it either.

Would you rather be a nuclear physicist or marine biologist? Marine biologist. That’s one step closer to one of my loves, biology. Plus I was never any good with physics, so.

Do you have a deep, dark secret you're hiding from every one? I guess.

Would you rather be able to soar like an eagle or swim like a dolphin? I’d make my childhood self happy and go with flight.

If you wanted to learn a foreign language, what would it be? Korean so I can finally stop reading subs, hahah.

Are you bi-curious? No.

Did you watch the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon more as a kid? The Nickelodeon cartoons were far more interesting to me. I think I only got into Disney when I got a little bit older, once I was able to appreciate the more mature content in shows like The Suite Life, That’s So Raven, etc. But for the most part our TV was always tuned into Nick Jr., Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron and the other Nick shows.

Name 5 films that were made the year you were born: American History X (great watch), The Truman Show, Mulan, La Vita e Bella if I’m not mistaken (one of my faves, no matter how gut-wrenching it is), and Shakespeare in Love.

Did you have a lot of friends in high school? Yes, eventually I did.

Do you rely more on the newspaper, Internet or TV as your news source? Social media these days since I find that online writers are far more discerning in their reporting than TV anchors, who stay neutral at best.

True or false: Bigger is better. Very vaguely put, but not always, I guess.

Do you think religion is the primary cause of war? No? There’ve been plenty other reasons for war.

What's your favorite pizza topping? ...Cheese.

Think of your wardrobe. What color do you wear the most? It’s still black, I think.

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Just once, on a middle school field trip. I’d love to come back, though.

Do you feel like you connect more with animals or other people? I don’t get to be with animals a lot other than my dogs, so I’ll go with people.

Do you feel like sometimes you have to lie in order to protect yourself? Wow so dramatically put haha but yeah, I suppose it does feel that way sometimes.

How often do you exercise? Literally never. I’ve stopped working out this year since I didn’t see the point, and I’ve stopped feeling like I had to ‘get back’ at my ex just by getting a more toned figure. I’m totally at peace with how my body looks, plus I never want to give up on my favorite foods and snacks lol so there’s that.

Can you swear in a different language? Putangina mong bobo kang gago ka. That’s three for ya.

Do you think teachers/doctors deserve to get paid more than pro athletes? Everyone deserves to be paid fairly to the point that no comparison should be necessary, period.

From a scale of 1- 5, you would rate this survey: Erm, a 4.5. I had to delete some questions I didn’t feel comfortable answering or that I found a little meh, but the rest I fairly enjoyed.

Do you think most of these questions were more original or more ordinary? It’s a bit in between.

Approx. time you completed this survey: Hahahahah 10:38 PM. I took a million breaks.

#survey #surveys

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drowninghell · 4 years

Note

Hello!! I read your wedding show game scenario for Kuroo, Ushjima, & Bukuto and i love it!! Plus it was funny and cute at the dame time! I was wondering if you write an oikawa, kenma, akaashi, and tsukishima verison? If you do thank you so much and if not then it's fine but you are a really great author!!

Oh wow , I fell off the face of the earth for a while, again I really appreciate all your support and patience and Aghhhh thankyou for 120 followers, I love all of you <3333333

Thankyou for the request!!! OMGomgOMG I didn’t know people would like this scenario that much, I thought the shoe game was just an Irish thing, thank you for requesting this! I had fun writing it and again, I apologise for taking so long to write it! I apologise for excluding kenma, I love him but I really struggle to play him correctly :/

Tsukishima

“Yamaguchi, it’s dumb, I’m not doing it”

“tsukiiii~ it’s your wedding day , stop it”

Your husband grumbled, teeth grit together and brows furrowed as his best man shoved him towards the small gathering of people. Across the room he could see your bridal party had snagged you as well. Pushing you in the same direction. When the crowd parted to let you both through, you spotted two chairs, all laid out with the backs to each other.

After being pushed into your respective seats your husband looked over his shoulder, staring down at you quizzically. “you did this, didn’t you?” there was a snide little smirk on his face which in turn caused you to simply role you eyes.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. “You may or may not have thrown the idea out there to your bridal party.

After you both possessed one of each other’s shoes, the game commenced.

However when I say game? I really mean a ‘let’s roast y/n session.’ Bless, your husband didn’t hold back! He made sure to expose all your little secrets, leaving you a stuttering, stammering mess 99% of the time.

“Who spends the most money?” you looked between the shoes, debating between Kei and yourself, the audience already laughing due to the fact your husband was rather swift to answer. Giving into your conscience, you truthfully held your own shoe up.

At least YOU had the courage to be honest, At least YOU weren’t outing your husband. Quite frankly, you felt attacked and he could see that. Of course that only amplified his absolute need to completely annoy you.

“Who is more responsible?” the look of sheer shock on your face when he hap-hazardly waved your shoe in the air, after sneaking a peak over your shoulder to get an insight of his answer.

“ Kei , come on, that is not true”

He waved a hand and mustered the most sarcastic expression “I never lie” was his quick witted retort; you could already imagine the sly smirk on his face!

“You are lying right to my face, you really are!”

“Well if we are getting technical here I’m actually lying to your back”

When the game actually took affect you both got into your groove, answering truthfully. Awk, bless even Kei attempted to reign in his digs, only shooting some loaded remark every now and then. He even looked to be enjoying himself; he enjoyed seeing your reactions really. How you’d feign shock when the questions exposed a bad habit of your’s or how you’d laugh and jeer at him the minute he was caught out of a lie and had to expose himself.

“Who is the grumpiest in the morning?”

You were quick to throw your husband’s shoe into the air before the question had even finished, following that up with “ more like all day!” the audience found it funny, especially when Tsukishima spun around in his chair, brows furrowed but a sly grin on his features, you could simply imagine the irk mark on his forehead. He slowly held up his own shoe and the look of pure defeat alone on his face had you splitting your sides from laughing.

“Who is the most jealous in a relationship?”

Again, yet ANOTHER chance to get back at him.

You held his shoe up and were actually surprised to see he had already beaten you to it, answering before you. You looked and seen that he held his own shoe up. When you looked up to meet his eyes you seen he was already staring down at you. Amber eyes softening slightly.

“How could I not get jealous though... Look at you.” He murmured it, quietly enough that only you could hear. When the audience made a resounding ‘ awe’ sound. He broke the eye contact and continued with the game; however it took you a little while to get back into the swing of things. Even after all these years, he still has the same effect on you as he did when you first met.

Oikawa

Your husband was more excited than any child when you asked about the ‘wedding shoe game’ and if you could both do it, he practically squealed in agreement. Even after he married you, he was still questioning about the game. When you were getting your photographs, when the bridal party did your speeches. When you were both waiting for the food to be served. He was worse than a child!

So after you both had your first dance and everyone else had hit the dance floor, he was pestering you again. “Come on, come on y/nnnn~ we can do it now right?” of course this time you gave in and began setting it up. The condition was that Oikawa’s best man, Iwaizumi had to be the person reading out the questions. Aside from you, he’s the only person who can keep your mischievous husband in line.

Before you had even sat down in that chair, Tooru was already sitting, his shoe in his hand ready to give to you, his free hand held out to you.

“hurry up and gimme’ your shoe.”

“ Tooru, I would if you would just let me sit down first.”

“Then sit down.”

The idea to throw your shoe at him then was ever so tempting.

When the game got into full swing, you found yourself enjoying it lot more than you thought you would have. Of course your husband was loving it but you didn’t expect the game to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, bless oikawa was an absolute gem. The questions were cute too though, so that helped. However, it all turned for the worst when oikawa got offended.

“Who is the hardest to look after when they are sick?”

You answered truthfully, holding his shoe into the air, and that is when all hell broke loose. A gasp broke loose and you spun around in your chair to see your tipsy husband, mouth agape and brows furrowed. “Are you calling me high maintenance?”

This caused you to spin around in your chair, brows furrowed. “No, I just answered truthfully, it’s not my fault you take 3-5 working days to heal; from the flu”

The crowd cooed and giggled, oikawa’s expression just further descended into complete and utter shock. “No, y/n, listen, that was MANFLU it’s different.”

“No it isn’t”

“It is, Google it.”

When a member of the audience did and proved your husband wrong, he took full fledged offence and was adamant that the person in the crowd was ‘just taking your side to be nice.’

The rest of the game your slightly drunk boyfriend kept referencing everything the fact that ‘you thought he was high maintenance.’ He was 100% on the huff. Turning his face away from you every time you tried to look at him, or making that huff noise out his nose when you didn’t acknowledge the fact that ‘he was on the huff’.

“awk, Tooru ,you know that’s not what I meant ?”

Like a child, he spun his head away and moved his shoulder away from your touch. Iwaizumi went ahead with the game, hoping it would stop Oikawa’s little tantrum.

“Who is punching above their own weight?”

Straight away, you put your hand in the air with Oikawa’s shoe in hand. When a chorus of “ awwww” sounded, you looked around and seen Oikawa held your shoe into the air as well. You both busted out laughing and he found himself coming out of his small lived sulk.

Akaashi

Now, this boy is too lowkey and chill to be worrying about any game, especially on his wedding day. He’ll be too focused on you. He’ll most likely only agree to the little game if he knew you would enjoy it. you were both back to back, he found himself glancing over his shoulder, just to look at you. God you were just so stunning and yet, you were all his.

He blinked and soon realised he had been spacing out, now you sat there with your hand out reached, in your other hand you held out your own shoe. “ kejii- can I have your shoe? Please? “

When the game got into full swing he actually enjoyed the game, he played along and watched as you got all excited when you both answered the question in sync. How your expression would light up and fall. He was a little bit like a pacifist during the game?

You had a little to drink and anytime a question exposed you, he made sure to explain it in a positive way. To gloss it over and keep you calm, it was like a little talent of his, he could defuse any situation. He had that easy going, charismatic personality that eased any tension.

Which came in handy. Especially now that he was married to you.

“ listen , kejii, I’m not actually the most dramatic, right?”

“ no listen, you aren’t dramatic at all.”

He really enjoyed the game, most defiantly. However, cool calm Akaashi was indeed flustered.

“ who is the best in bed?”

He was shocked that such a private question was asked in such a public place, in front of his family! Immediately, his pretty boy face heated up. Pinning around to look at you, only to see you had your hand in the air, holding his shoe.

“y/n, p-put your hand down! Don’t answer that”

“why? Kejii- is your face red?”

“no.”

He spun around in his seat and rubbed at his face, groaning, causing you to spin around in your seat. Slide your arms across his shoulders and down his torso , your chin resting on his collar bone then leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“ awe, darling, don’t be embarrassed.”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#headcanon #oikawa headcanons #oikawa toru x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #akaashi headcannon #akaashi x reader

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forever-rogue · 5 years

Text

Lucky You - Part 1

A/N: Soo, this is my first time writing for Billy and ST in general. Hopefully it’s not complete garbage. This will have a few other parts too! Anywhooo enjoy! No spoilers contained within! xx

Word Count: 4K

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warning: Language, Billy being Billy (but nothing too bad)

MASTERLIST

PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

»»————-　♡　————-««

“What?!” you snapped, finally unable to ignore the pale ocean eyes that were boring holes into your back. You’d felt his gaze linger on your figure as soon as you had gotten into the school’s gym that was crawling with tons of other students at the moment, meaning that he could watched anyone else - anyone but you. You wished it had been anyone but you. You hated Billy Hargrove…that’s what you had been trying to convince yourself of for the last several months.

But any sort of resolve you had against had slowly been dissipated since the day you had laid eyes on him and first saw that smile, that damned smile that almost never appeared on his face, but when it did you were done for. It was all but perfect, a megawatt smile on a face as beautiful as the most magnificent sunset. But you vowed you’d be in your grave before you ever admitted any sort of attraction to him.

“Well, well,” his warm voice was laced with amusement as he slowly sauntered over to you, sweat glistening all over his well toned and tan body. You refused to turn around, not wanting to give into his power, because you knew that he knew exactly the effect he had on women…most importantly you, “look what the cat dragged in.”

You let out a sigh, running a hand over your face in an exasperated manner, willing him with every fiber of your being to just to away. But of course he didn’t, no, fate would not be that kind. When you didn’t respond, he reached up and gently tugged on your ponytail, knowing it would annoy you more than anything.

“What the hell is your problem?” you almost screeched as you whipped around and came around face to face with him, your hand raised to smack him thoroughly across his pretty mug, just like he deserved. But Billy caught your hand, his fingers clamping down tightly on your wrist as that trademark smirk stretched across his lips.

“Not so fast Princess,” his voice was low but soft as you struggled to free your hand. He seemed amused at how easy it was to fluster you, but he eventually let you go, his hands landing on the his hips, just above the shorts that were slung low on his bottom half. One wrong move and they’d be on the ground, leaving him more exposed than anything. It was a tempting thought, and caused you to bit the inside of your cheek to keep your mind from wandering too far into the gutter.

“What the actual fuck do you want, Hargrove?” you tried to keep your voice tinged with as much as venom as possible, making it clear that you did not like Billy Hargrove. The quickly spreading tingling you felt running through your body was clear evidence that none of that was true. You had felt the sparks flood through your veins as soon as he hand had made contact with your skin. He held up his hands, trying to play the innocent victim card.

“I just wanted to say hi,” he cocked his head to the side, much like a confused puppy, his beautiful eyes as innocent and wide as possible. Damn, he was good, “you look lost, Princess. What’s got you wandering into the gym? Should you be in the library, all caught up in those books you seem to love so much.”

“If that’s your pitiful attempt at humor, it’s not working,” you sighed and took a step away from him. The larger the distance between your bodies, the easier it would be to refuse his advances, or so you figured anyway. Out of the corner of your eye you spied Steve coming out of the locker room, running a hand through his hair, trying to get it back to it’s normal state. A wave of relief flooded through your bones at the sight of your best friend, more ready than ever to leave and forget all about that this encounter. You were definitely not going to think about any of this tonight while you were locked in your bedroom, under the covers, and left with only your imagination. Definitely not.

“It’s seemed to put a bit of a smile on your face” he raised an eyebrow and you just rolled your eyes, ready to head off to the safety of Steve’s warm presence.You just flipped him the bird as you turned on your heel, “awe, come on, you don’t mean that!”

“Do too,” you countered without skipping a beat or casting another glance back in his direction. You heard him sigh softly, a sound of annoyance mixed with defeat, and it gave you a small sense of satisfaction. Another day that you had resisted Billy’s charm advances. It was a good day, and the rest of it was going to be spent with your best friends, which would provide a welcome distraction.

“You’ll go out with me at some point!” he called over at you, causing you to stop dead in your tracks.That was not what you were expecting at all, especially not from Billy ‘Bad Guy’ Hargrove. You swore you could almost detect a bit of softness and fragility to his tone, but surely that was impossible? This was Billy after all.

You turned around and held out your arms as a gesture of both what the hell and try me. You noticed that the corner of his mouth slowly started to turn up into a small smile, “I wouldn’t hold my breath, Billy. But you’re welcome to try. Spoiler alert though, I happen to despise assholes.”

“I’ll accept your challenge, Princess,” he suddenly seemed to have his spunk back, excited by the prospect of the challenge of winning you over. He liked a challenge, difficult or not and you were proving to be the hardest one to date, “once you finally get over yourself you won’t be sorry.”

“We’ll see,” were the last words out of your mouth as you almost skipped over to where Steve as now waiting for you. His mouth was hanging open and a confused grin was etched across his face. He’d only witnessed the last bit of your encounter with Billy but it was enough to make all the hair on his body stand up on end.

“What just happened? Did I just stumble into the twilight zone?” he quickly looked between you and Billy, as you just shook your head and pulled him along with you, “Hargrove-”

“Nothing to worry about, Pretty Boy,” you reassured him, opening the door and stepping into the chilly winter afternoon, pulling your scarf tighter around your neck. It was the middle of January, and winter was still in full force - your favorite. That, combined with the sparks from your interaction with Billy, was enough to lift your spirits as you giggled at the look on Steve’s face, “Billy’s on some weird vendetta, thinking that he can get me to go out with him. I told him he’s welcome to try, but it’ll never work. I, Y/N L/N, will never ever go out with Billy Hargrove.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

February

You abhorred February the majority of the time it rolled around, for a multitude of reasons, namely because it signaled the end of the winter, and the onslaught of spring which led to summer, which was the absolute worst. But anyways, you also hated it because of Valentine’s Day, which you insisted was a crock of shit, all consumerism that got people to buy things they didn’t need, and to shame people who were single.

Not that you didn’t have a Valentine - you always did, a savior in the form of your best friend, Steve. You both hated Valentine’s Day, so you figured why not suffer together? After the first year you had done it, you’d both had so much fun going out and making fun of the all the couples, so in love and showing their affection off to the world, you’d decided to make it a tradition.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Steve greeted you with a big grin on his face, and a large frosted sugar cookie in his hand. You gave him a quick hug before eagerly taking the large treat and shoving it into your mouth, relishing in the buttery sweetness, “Happy Valentine’s Day to you too.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, as a few crumbs fell past your lips. Steve sighed and let out a chuckle as he wiped the top of your shirt, “Happy Disgusting Love Day to you!”

“Ahh, there you are,” he laughed as you started to riffle through your locker, attempting to gather all the things you needed for the first period, “hey, we still on for the usual after school? I was thinking we could go see a movie after dinner? It won’t be too late, I promise, and you’ll have plenty of time to finish your homework, little nerd.”

“Very funny, Pretty Boy,” you sighed dramatically at him; teasing each other was the pinnacle of your relationship and you wouldn’t have changed it for the world, “but yes, whatever you want to do is fine with me. But just so you know, I’m picking the restaurant for this evening. I think Hopper’s taking Mrs. Byers to that fancy place. Maybe we can go there and gather intel!”

“You’re so nosy,” he laughed as the bell rang, signaling the start of classes. His eyes widened as he realized he was going to be late again, and he couldn’t risk that. He’d already gotten into too much trouble this year, “I’ll see you at lunch, gotta go!”

“B-bye,” you waved meekly after him, shaking your head at him; he was always something else. Grabbing the rest of your things, you shut the locker, but almost proceeded to drop everything out of your hands as Billy stood there, watching you intently, “Jesus H. Christ, Hargrove! You could have, you know, said something instead of standing there like creepy weirdo.”

“For someone so observant, you’re very clueless,” he threw his back with laughter, momentarily removing the heart shaped lollipop from his mouth, his curls bouncing magnificently in the light. You huffed at him and got ready to walk away so you wouldn’t be late either. Billy stopped as soon as you took a step and reached out to grab your arm in his - he had a strong grip and it sent a shiver up your spine, “hang on for a moment.”

“Billy, I’ve got to get to class,” you stated matter-of-factly, “don’t you have to do the same?”

“Yeah, but when’s the last I cared about that?” he went back to sucking on the lollipop, making a deliberate show of it, and you had to struggled to keep your eyes from flicking to his lips. It would have been wrong to admit that your wished your were that sucker.

“Maybe you should try it sometime,” you pointed out, a mischievous idea crossing your mind as Billy just shrugged, a self righteous little smirk on his face. You reached over and snatched the lollipop from his mouth, surprising him and yourself as you stuck it between your own lips, sucking on it for a few moments before releasing it with a loud pop.

“What are you doing later?” he blurted out his, his tan toned chest rising up and down faster than it had previously. Your actions had caught him off guard and sent all the blood rushing down south, his already tight jeans becoming more and more uncomfortable with each passing moment. A small, delicate laugh escaped your now sticky lips as you slung your backpack over your shoulder, “ahh, come on, Princess, you know you want all of this. Any other girl would be dying to be in your shoes right now.”

“Maybe you should find one of them and proposition them,” you were proud of the effect you had on him as you noticed how he shifted his weight back and forth, a grimace on his handsome face, “besides I’ve got plans.”

“Harrington?” he asked through gritted teeth, annoyed by the idea of that pretty boy having his hands all over you. He knew you were close to him, but he hadn’t realized you were that close. You nodded, and he slammed his hand lightly against your locker, “I didn’t realize you were dating him. Does he even know where your c-”

“Eww,” you stopped before he could go on any further, holding up a hand to silence him, “Steve’s my best friend, dude. I’m not fucking him though, the thought of that alone is enough to make me want to die.”

“Then why are you spending the Valentine’s with him?” he was confused by your words that clearly clashed with your thoughts on him.

“Don’t have a boyfriend and he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Therefore as best friends, we’re spending the day together,” you raised both of your eyebrows at him, “duh. Besides, there’s no one here that’s even remotely captured my interest.”

“Come on, Y/N, just go out with me,” he was growing frustrated by your refusal to give into him. He never had to try this hard with other girls, they always threw themselves at him. Billy Hargrove didn’t have to beg a girl to go out with him, they begged for even the slightest bit of his attention. But not you; no, you provided a challenge he couldn’t back down from him. He was the hunter and you were the prey and he wasn’t stopping until you were his.

“Why?” you played with the sucker in your mouth, just to taunt him a little further, “you’ve given me no reason to say yes to you. Besides, Billy, let’s be honest here, I know your type. You just want a challenge, you only want me because I’m saying no, but as soon as I give in you’re just going to fuck me and then never speak to me again. I’m not into that, I don’t want a bad boy Billy.”

“It’s not like that,” he insisted quietly, although he knew you had a point. He had a reputation for a reason after all, but it had quickly changed once he had met you. He’d dropped all the other girls as he pursued you, attempting to win over your affection.

“Whatever you say, Billy Boy,” you gave him a wink as you turned away and started to head to class; you were well late now, but it was worth it. Any time spent antagonizing Billy was worth. You kept the lollipop in your mouth, a small piece of victory, “keep trying, maybe one day it’ll work!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

March

By the time March rolled around you were already eager for summer vacation to start, the lull of time off from school drawing you in like a siren calling to a sailor. Even though it was still a few months until you could enjoy the freedom of sleeping in without an alarm, not having to worry about homework, and getting to hang around all day with your friends, it was constantly on the back of your mind. You were...distracted to say the least, and there was just one other thing at the forefront of your mind.

Normally it would be school and cramming for exams, making sure to keep up your already perfect grades, but this year there were...other distractions. Namely in the handsome form of Billy. He’d taken it upon himself, almost as if he was on a personal mission, to get you to agree to go out with him. Just one date, one little date he always insisted, reassuring you that that was all it would take for you to fall for him. Normally you’d just roll your eyes at him, pat his cheek and tell him he was cute, but it was never going to work.

Your resolve had weakened ever so slightly, your words less sharp than normal, your glances softened, eyes not as hard as they used to be. You thought it hadn’t been that obvious but the relentless teasing from Steve and Nancy were enough to see that you were incredibly obvious. You denied everything they said, firmly reiterating that you would sooner be in your grave than ever even kiss him. You’d gotten close enough to that when you’d stolen his lollipop the month prior, the taste of which you were sure still lingered on your lips, sometimes bringing a blush to your cheeks.

But it was Pi Day, which you wouldn’t have known about, but your math teacher was a huge nerd, much like you were in other ways, and wanted to celebrate. He’d brought in several pies to share for the class and only taught for a few minutes before deciding to let you all do whatever you wanted. You were glad for the reprieve; it had been a long week already and you figured you’d use the period to take a quick cat nap - not before eating your piece of pie of course. It was a delicious looking Boston Cream Pie and you were eager to dig into it.

You were only stopped when Billy stepped next to you, sliding into the abandoned seat across from yours. Of course, he just couldn’t let it go.

“Hiya Princess,” he smirked as you set down your plastic spork, letting go of the idea that you’d get to eat this pie in peace. You propped your elbow on the top of the desk and rested your head in your arm as you glared at him, “what? No greeting? Not even a smart remark?”

“What Billy?” you gave in, watching as his face between through several expression changes, ultimately landing on bemused. He looked good today, better than anyone should have looked if you were being quite honest, and it was getting harder not to stare at his chest, how the shirt he wore was perfectly taught across his muscles. He reached over and swiped his fingers across the top of your pie slice, scooping up a bit of the whipped cream.

“Just wanted to say hello,” he said innocently as he brought his fingers to his lips and licked off the sweet cream, tongue darting out of his mouth purposely to make sure he had your attention. He never broke eye contact with you, and it was a horrible struggle not to give in and watch him, and you instinctively licked your own lips which suddenly felt way too dry and chapped. You wondered how his lips would feel against yours, if they were as soft and supple as they looked.

“I’m sure,” you suddenly regained a bit of confidence as you came back to your senses, taking the plate and pulling it further away from his reach. He’d been hovering around you even more lately, always making sure to catch your eye, a smirk or wink cast at you. He was starting to break you down, and you had a feeling he knew. But you refused to admit defeat, and even if you wanted him (which you didn’t, you constantly assured yourself), you were never in a million years going to let him wear you down. You weren’t like all the other girls and never would be.

“I can be a nice guy,” he must have felt a rush of bravado because he reached over and placed his hand under your chin and tilted your face up to look at him, “maybe not to everyone, but for you. I can tell there’s something different about you, and I want to know more. I can tell you like me too, Princess, even if you’re denying it to yourself. I can see the way you look at me, especially when you think I’m not looking.”

“Oh?” you were growing more annoyed with him by the second, his normal swagger setting back in, “and how do I look at you?”

“With those big innocent eyes...I can tell you’re not though. I’m guessing I’m going to get to find out soon enough just how not innocent you are,” the words barely left his mouth before you took the plate of pie and smashed it onto his face, covering his features in the sticky chocolate cream.

“Tell me how I look at you now, Billy,” you fumed, all eyes in the classroom turning to face you as you single-handedly embarrassed him in front of everyone. He wiped the pie off of his eyes, anger spreading throughout his body as he bit his tongue to hold back his words, “don’t you dare presume you know a single thing abut me, Hargrove. I will never, ever go out with you, and that isn’t just a bunch of words, that’s promise.”

“Miss L/N! Mr. Hargrove!” your teacher wasn’t quite sure what to do as an awkward silence hung in the room and people starting to whisper among themselves. He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, shushing the people around you, “that is enough out of the two of you. Detention for the next three weeks for the two of you, no ifs, ands, or buts.”

“What the f-”

“Do you want to make it four weeks?” he raised an eyebrow at you, stunned by your sudden insubordination; you were normally the teacher’s pet, always doing whatever you were told. But there was something about Billy that set you off in a completely different direction.

“No,” you sighed, casting annoyed glances between him and Billy, who was silently fuming as cream slowly dripped off of his face and onto the floor.

“Good,” he sighed, “now I want the two of you out of my classroom. Hargrove clean yourself off and Miss L/N, I recommend you take the time to reflect on your actions.”

“Fine,” you grabbed your bag and stormed out of the classroom, leaving them all behind, annoyance filling every fiber of your being. You never used to be like this, you were the good girl. But now? Now Billy was starting to get to you, and he was likely pissed to the point were he’d never let you live it down.

“That was a bit dramatic, wasn’t it?” Billy scoffed as he stumbled out of the classroom, heading for the bathroom. You remained silent as he started to walk past you, a cool air about him, “didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Shut up,” you hissed at him, wishing your actions had been a bit more of deterrence on him, “I hate you, Billy Hargrove. You’re nothing to me, and you never will be. Drop the act and just leave me alone.”

“You just pied me in the face in front of everyone,” he pointed out, “you think I’m going to let you get away with that? I don’t think so, Princess.”

“Whatever Billy,” you rolled eyes at him, trying not to think about how good he looked, even covered in pie, that you may or may not have wanted to lick off of his face. It simply wasn’t fair, but you weren’t going to let it get to you, “we are never ever ever going out. No matter how hard you try.”

“We’ll see,” he said with a smirk before starting to duck into the bathroom, propping it open with one toned arm, “I always get what I want. And I want you. You’ll give into me eventually, trust me.”

He didn’t give you a chance to get another word in before he disappeared into the bathroom. You thought about storming in after him, but stopped yourself - the two of you alone in the bathroom might lead to exactly what you were trying to prevent.

You were weakening little by little and Billy knew it.

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #stranger things cast #no spoiler #non spoiler #my writing #au #oc #reader insert #fanfiction #imagine #one shot #steve harrington #dacre montgomery #nancy wheeler #natalia dyer #joe keery

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androgynousblackbox · 3 years

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Rating the cooking shows I have watched while doing chores

For personal reasons I have been doing a lot of chores lately and I refuse to them without something to entertain me, but because I couldn’t bring the TV with me I had my phone. I could have listened to a podcast, but knowing how no one on my home knows the “don’t talk to me while I am wearing earphones because I won’t hear shit” rule, I had to have something I didn’t need to pay extremely close attention to and could miss words of without worrying. Somehow I ended up watching a lot of competition shows, mostly cooking. My rating is completely based on the entertainment I got from them. I know fuck all about anything else. 1. Nailed It. I don’t know how to bake for shit (one time tried to do cupcakes, turned out tasting like vomit) and these people either, so there is already a strong kinship there. I feel their confusion when they don’t know a baking term or how something it’s supposed to look like to know that it’s actually good or not. Also I really like the hosts and their dinamic. Nicole is really fun. The chocolate french expert they bring on looks like a genuelly sweet guy who has a lot of patience with all these poor motherfuckers who are literally ruining the thing he has worked so hard to perfect for years, and are stumbling through the kitchen without a single clue. He actually wants them to learn and do better, and even tries to find the good on the more than less perfect products he has to eat, which is very commendable on itself. West is a fun addition as the serious straight man who never smiles but still comes out doing ridiculous shit to deliver the trophies at the end. I like that they bring new contestant to each new episodes, all of them with their own stories, personalities and varying levels of sucking, so that makes it more interesting and it’s like watching a mini story arc on a quick and easy format. I have the people I root for and I am glad when they win or sad when they lose. Very binge watching worthy. They always make a big deal at the end when a person wins and, like, fuck yeah, they deserved it. They made the less shitty shit on this shit town and they deserve the celebration, so I enjoyed their fun even if the winner wasn’t my favourite. 2. Best Leftover Ever! This is a show about bringing cooks with some experiences to come grab some leftovers in order to turn them into new meals. As someone that hates wasting food, I really liked the concept itself but it’s also very bright, the set is really fun, the hosts are funny and sometimes they put little tips about what you can do with some meals to use them again and, overall, entertaining and educational on a way. The food many times looks so amazing you wouldn’t have ever imagine what started as before, so outgha teach you some major respect for these cooks and their creativity. They also seem to have a lot of fun when announcing the winner and it’s cheesy, but I will never get tired of “I made you some cashrola” joke at the end. The hosts have a great dynamic and they are all funny people on their own right, but together they are unstoppable. I am sad that it doesn’t have more seasons. 3. The Final Table. A show about inviting a bunch of big shot cooks around the world to compete to be able to be counted among a bunch of other of big shots cooks around the world. The thing about it is that each episode they concentrate on a specific country so they need to make a food that is typical from that country and later use an ingredient native to it. I love that they always bring a food critic and celebrities from those countries, letting them be the judges and decide if what they are served actually represents them or not. You learn a lot about how they value different things on food according to each country and what distinguish them one from another. Really interesting stuff! Also, to learn that the biggest shot cookers all took the influences of their upbringing to make their own, unique things is legit inspiring. I am not particularly in love with the host, though. Like I am sure he is a good guy, but it kinda gets on my nerves he is “oh yeah?”, “yes?” and making other kind of interjection while people are trying to talk, like he will lose control of the conversation otherwise. Just let people talk, man. But it has great editing and it’s big and dramatic enough that I can forgive that. 4. Sugar Rush. This was actually the first cooking show I finished through all it’s seasons. It’s a time management game in which experienced bakers who are owners of their own business come to fulfill each challenge on a given time frame and the more they take to do the first challenge, that takes time away from the minutes they can use for the second and the third one, so there is already an extra element of tension to see who can finish first, who is taking the longest and how they are going to curve their shortcomings when the time is not enough for something else. The desserts look so fucking good always, even if they didn’t turn out perfect, so it’s obvious these are talented people. I might not understand shit of what are the techniques or some of the ingredients they use or how it works, but it’s fascinating seeing capable people doing their best and using their own creativity when things go wrong. The host aren’t terribly funny, but I can see them being the kind of teacher who will point out when you fucked up but ultimately just encourages you to do better. Just nice people being nice and professional and, you know, I am very fine with that. 5. Crazy Delicious I get the whole aesthetic is about how do you have these “gods of food” who will judge cooks on each round and the set is decorated like a forest where everything is edible, so it makes sense that the prize would be a golden apple that the gods themselves give to the mortal, the competitors. Aesthetically speaking, it makes sense. But that is all they win. There is no money, there is no deal, there is no contract, nothing. Just this one golden apple that I don’t even know what is made of. Like it could be literally the cheapest thing in the world or made of actual gold, I have no clue. And like, it’s not like I don’t get that some cooks literally just want to compete, test themselves and prove themselves and other what they are capable in front of other cooks they respect. I get that. But the delivering of the golden apple itself is kinda anticlimatic every time. You could have made it really fucking cool with some lighting effect, some confetti flying on the air, something. The first episode I watched I felt like I just missed the ending because I didn’t grasped that it was just over. Like the gods come out, give a speech and give the apple. There is no special music even to indicate “hey, this is a big important thing, pay attention!!” and so I didn’t paid attention. Also, I get that the gods have to use their all white uniforms for each episode because that is their godly outfit, fine. But why the host lady also only had one single dress for the entire season, I really don’t understand that. Did they want me to think that they filmed everything on one day or what. Like come on, have her on all sorts of cute sparkly dresses, why not. Also, she’s an adorable woman but sometimes she would make these fat jokes at her own expense that looked really awkward and out of place. I get it, she is fat, she is allowed to make those jokes if that is her kind of humour, and maybe this is just my impression, but it does feel like they always fall flat because nobody is shown laughing or even enjoying her input. It could have been editing, it could be the fact I am not that used to british humour or what, but it just feels akward. I do like the concept, though, and all the challenges are fun to watch, especially when people have to reinvent a classic dish and they come out with all kinds of different interpretations that I would die to try. Reading different reviews, it might just be me not being used to british competition shows so don’t take this opinion of mine as anything but that, just some random fuck who watched some shows while doing the dishes and enjoyed them overall. I do recommend all these shows, even if just to have some background noise while doing something else.

#andro is talking

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uzuuzuking · 4 years

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so this started out as just a general post about why i like cinderella adaptations, but slowly spiraled into a ranking/review of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen in my short, young life. so strap in for possibly the longest post i’ve ever made on this blog. (look, i never know how much i have to say about something until i really get going lmao)

idk why i like cinderella adaptations/remakes/spinoffs so much? most of them are garbage (especially the ones within the last 10 years don’t @ me) but fuck it i like this brand of garbage. it’s fun to watch these movies and rework the bad plotlines and dialogue in my head as i go along.

i guess i like the source material and some of the aspects of all the different adaptations, but honestly i just like re-imagining them because there’s only so much cringey script-written-for-teens-but-clearly-written-by-40-year-old-adults-who-have-no-idea-how-teens-or-even-people-for-that-matter-actually-talk-and-interact i can take in one excruciating sitting.

anyway here’s my personal ranking of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen that no one asked for. (not including stage productions because i haven’t seen any and have no opinion of them. also not including into the woods because that’s not just cinderella, but a spectacular amalgamation of fairytale mishap and shenanigan.) and reviews because apparently i had more to say than i originally thought when i first started constructing this list:

cinderella (1997) - the absolute best cinderella adaptation of all time, hands down, this is non-negotiable. this movie has it all: an excellent and diverse cast, gorgeous costume design, beautiful sets, some of the most dazzling dance numbers i ever witnessed when i first watched it at the wee age of 4, and a positive, progressive message that was accurate for its time yet also so ahead of its time. i cannot praise this version of cinderella enough, it is my all time favorite and one of my top 3 feel-good movies. if you watched it today, the effects might not be as magical compared to what we have now, but keep in mind it was released in 1997. anyway, the cast is truly amazing and so effortlessly inclusive (and honestly the fact that the prince was asian with a black mother and white father and they literally never addressed it was such a power move). i could go on about this movie forever (i’ll probably make a whole post dedicated to it in the future) and what it meant to me and many others as young, impressionable poc. in conclusion, this movie set an exceedingly high standard for me and destroyed the chances of any other cinderella adaptation even hoping to live up to that. i love it! so! much!

ever after: a cinderella story (1998) - tbh i never saw this until i was in college but i immediately fell in love. i love the flow of the story as a whole - i never felt like anything was missing. i love the costumes and i especially love how danielle and henry’s relationship progressed throughout the film. slow-burn comes to mind when i watch their interactions and we all love a sweet, sweet slow-burn. it’s romance babes! it’s Dramatic in a few scenes and all i can say is that it really works because drew barrymore’s performance is exceptional, fantastic, engaging, more adjectives to describe how enthralled by her i was. above all, her character is compassionate - she uses her voice to speak in support for those who are suppressed by the flawed government systems and law enforcers, and influences the prince to use his status and power to better his people who lack the privileges of the nobility. she’s such a strong female lead (emotionally and physically - she literally fireman carries her love interest, who is taller than her and definitely exceeds her own bodyweight) and truly the mvp of this adaptation. watch it. watch it for Her.

enchanted (2007) - amy adams and idina menzel - ‘nuff said. okay but for real this one is so unique with its transition from classic d*sney 2D animation style to the real three-dimensional world and i adore it to the ends of the earth. the music? slaps! the story? slaps! the development of the main character? slaps!! she’s so princess-y and d*sney cartoon-y and struggles in the real world, but she adapts at a good pace and i love that she learns to be realistic while also keeping hope and love close to her heart. also her mother figure / daughter figure bond with morgan is so so precious. the only constructive criticism i have for this movie is the fact that we were robbed of idina menzel singing!!! did they know all along she was destined to play the frozen queen years in the future and decided against her singing in this one?? is that it? ridiculous. it’s been over a decade and i’m still seething over this. other than that this movie is *chef’s kiss*

ella enchanted (2004) - anne hathaway’s back must still be hurting from carrying this film. (no shade to the other cast members, they’re good, but anne is a queen and i forever love her.) this is another childhood favorite of mine. the story itself is a refreshing take - hats off to gail carson levine for the source material! i’ve talked about the differences between the movie and book before in the midst of my reread of the book a few months ago, but i don’t remember how much i focused on the movie. it’s so different from the book that it might as well be its own thing. on its own, the movie is pretty decent! again, mostly because of anne. it’s funny, it’s sad (especially that scene towards the beginning between ella and areida, i’m in stupid tears every time), and it gets weird but it’s a fun time. the chemistry between char and ella is so zesty i can feel it through the screen, i swoon over both of them. tbh i probably wouldn’t like this movie so much if not for the fact that anne hathaway is truly talented and i spend most of my time watching it just looking at her.

cinderella 3: a twist in time (2007) - i genuinely enjoyed and appreciated how the characters were written in this one. they all had clear motives and became much more dynamic through their lines and actions (drizella is arguably the most static character here but she still amuses me so it’s fine i guess). cinderella has more agency since the stakes are higher. prince charming actually has a gotdamn personality and has some of the funniest scenes and dialogue. good for him. i was kind of sad that anastasia’s story with the sweet baker boy was thanos snapped by the stepmother, but she and baker boy get a cute credits illustration together so it’s still canon! maybe i’m more biased on this one because i grew up rewatching it A Lot, but i definitely prefer it to the first and second movies.

cinderella (2000) - this one is kind of weird but i like it? the film has a really interesting vibe that i’m still trying to figure out how to describe even after seeing it like 5 times. wikipedia refers to the aesthetic style as “the glamour of the 1950s” which just might be as close as we can get. it follows the general guidelines of the cinderella plot, but the main differences were: zezolla (cinderella) was already helping with the chores before her father remarried, claudette (stepmother) was actively trying to murder zezolla’s father during their marriage, the stepsisters were much more violent and crass (they hunted zezolla’s beloved farm animals for sport and talked about getting “a man in [their] bed”), zezolla’s father was manipulated by everything claudette did and said and treated his own daughter poorly as a result, and prince valiant is honestly kind of a douchebag but seems willing to improve himself after meeting zezolla (basically his vibes are iffy but he’s willing to learn). this whole movie is pretty niche and i have yet to interact with someone who’s also seen it. and the only reason i’ve seen it so many times is because i just like listening to how the dialogue is delivered. (except for prince valiant’s random song at the ball, i kind of hated that and i skip through it every time lol).

a cinderella story (2004) - the classic hilary duff version. very cliche early 2000s high school romance, but it works for the cinderella narrative. not particularly diverse. a classic nonetheless. in my mind this is the pinnacle of the “modern cinderella movie” type. this is one of the most iconic movies for us zillennials and i’d like to think it’s known well enough for me to not go into a lot of detail about it. basically it was fresh and new for its time, had plenty of memorable scenes, and did i mention hilary duff? the film kind of plays into the “not like other girls” trope - as do a couple of the movies i listed above - but i’m just going to acknowledge that the early 2000s were Wack and simply move on. all in all, i like this movie for the nostalgia, iconic scenes, and hilary duff. also jennifer coolidge is pretty funny as the stepmother.

another cinderella story (2008) - again, an early 2000s classic, but this time with selena gomez. i liked the dancing in this one. i like selena’s quiet, somewhat timid characterization of her character, mary. and jane lynch in the stepmother role is perfection. she’s so fun to watch and is always hilarious. the story is nothing remarkable, but it’s okay and i liked it as a kid. after the hilary duff version, this one still managed to feel fresh because, though it was similar in its modern era approach, it focused more on the performing arts and dance. “cinderella” is an aspiring dancer, rather than the 2004 aspiring scholar. the “prince” is a famous popstar, not a football player. the stepmother is an outdated popstar desperate to stay Hip and Relevant with the kids, not a cranky botox lady. honestly i just love watching this one for the dancing, mary’s genuine and innocent love for the “prince”, and literally everything that comes out of jane lynch’s mouth. that woman is a dialogue gold mine.

a cinderella story: once upon a song (2011) - lucy hale is good. missi pyle is good. they play their roles and lines that they’re given fairly well. over all, it’s entertaining. lucy, of course, has them Pipes and i do like the songs in this movie. the only major downside for me was the “token best friend of color” trope. lucy’s best friend is an asian girl who’s good at sports and is there for one liners and support. the prince charming character’s best friend is a black guy who he only knew for probably a month at the most. he can beatbox, sing, and dj. basically he’s also just there as support. they really don’t do much for the plot but they’re there for diversity and whatnot. this movie is.. fine.

cinderella (1950) - the only reason this ranks so low for me is because i watched it a lot as a child when it was on vhs and it always felt like a fever dream to me. i was just really young and didn’t feel invested in any of the characters. it is a classic, though, and i would watch it again and be able to enjoy it.

cinderella 2: dreams come true (2002) - i liked cinderella’s and anastasia’s stories from this one. jaq’s was meh. it was fine.

dj cinderella or cinderella pop (2019) - netflix knows i like cinderella adaptations so, naturally, they shoved this into my recommended and, naturally, i watched it. twice. which is more than i can say for the following review... so this movie is brazillian and is pretty much the cut & mold of modern cinderella movies. but she wants to be a dj. she stars out living a perfect life as a wealthy girl with a loving family, but turns out her dad is cheating on her mom with his secretary. that’s when she “stops believing in love”. which is actually valid bc if i saw one of my parental figures cheating on the other, i honestly wouldn’t know what to believe in anymore. anyway, cíntia dorella (yes. that’s her full name.) and her mom move into her aunt’s place. a year or so passes. stepmother/secretary/cheating lady is throwing an extravagant birthday party for her daughters and hires freddy prince, a popular musician who cíntia doesn’t really like. meanwhile, cíntia gets a dj gig she’s excited for until she finds out she’s the opener for freddy prince at her stepsisters’ party. she ends up disguising herself as “dj cinderella” and freddy is super into her. it’s pretty generic from there but i was entertained enough to watch it twice. take from that what you will.

cinderella (2015) - ok so we been knew that d*sney’s live action remakes ain’t shit, and this one is no exception. d*sney within the last few years has been like 99% aesthetics and marketing. this movie was visually stunning, especially with the settings and costumes. those were the only 2 things i truly liked. everything else was forgettable. in its defense, i did read a post about the “have courage and be kind” message which is something wonderful to hold onto, especially for anyone in an abusive situation like ella. that’s valid and i respect that. i still lowkey hate this movie tho. i started getting a headache about 4 reviews ago, but remembering how much praise this movie got has reignited my fighting spirit. honestly if you like it, that’s good, you like what you like and that’s that. but this is my review and i hated how proper ella’s posture was (she’s been doing physical labor hunched on the floor for years now, how does she not slump around in exhaustion at the end of the day??), i hated how perfectly curated the whole thing was (again, that’s mostly because of d*sney and their aesthetics), and i hated how hollow everything felt. i can’t perfectly describe it, but i never felt emotionally invested in any of the characters. something about their performance was lacking and yet again i blame d*sney. i actually really like lily james, but something about the way she was directed left me devoid of emotional attachment to ella. i remember nothing about ella’s step family or the prince. that’s how much of an impact this adaptation had on me. also i just remembered the fairy godmother as i type this. i ADORE helena bonham carter, but this movie does a horrible disservice to her. if she liked working on this movie, then i’m happy for her, but even she wasn’t strong enough to sell this to me. i saw this movie in theaters and came out of it lamenting my waste of money that i could have spent on something i would have actually enjoyed. but the thing that enraged me the most, the thing i despised, i detested, the thing i seethed over and rant about to this day was the ONE (1) token black character. i don’t even know if he had a name but he was captain of the guard or some shit. if i remember correctly (but probably not tbh this movie was so forgettable), he was the one who heard ella singing and was the whole reason the prince was able to have her try on the glass slipper. this man, who had zero character development, zero relevance to the plot, an insignificant amount of screen time, is suddenly the reason the main character is able to finally connect with her love interest. um. What. i hate how the writers treated him and i will forever be filled with every last grain of salt over this. anyway he’s my favorite character and everyone else is just eh. to conclude this ungodly long review, i don’t like this movie. i tried to watch it again once but got so bored i quit 10 minutes in. do yourself a favor and watch cinderella (1997) instead. (the only reason this movie is ranked above the remaining 5 is the production quality. but i guess that’s unfair bc d*sney has the big bucks. and maybe i wouldn’t be so harsh if i weren’t sleep deprived and grumpy from a sugar-induced headache, but these feelings still come from my Chest so idk.)

a cinderella story: a christmas wish (2019) - i think we all secretly enjoy christmas-themed movies and this has got to be someone’s guilty pleasure. i was mildly entertained (but again with the cringey dialogue written by people clearly not in high school...) and i do like laura marano. but they autotuned her to hell and back - which i loathed - because the woman can actually sing and she has a lovely voice. she got to sing candidly one (1) time and i relished the experience. my ears thank her beautiful, un-autotuned voice. other than that it was.. fine. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t like it either. laura marano deserves better than this. (can’t say the same for the other actors tho because their roles were unmemorable.) also laura marano was super cute in her elf costume!

not cinderella’s type (2018) - i legit forgot about this one until after i compiled the entire list lol. i saw it on youtube and it was decent as far as i remember. it’s another modern day cinderella. i think the “prince” runs over “cinderella’s” cat or something?? i’m pretty sure it was her mom’s cat so now she has nothing left to remember her mom by. prince boy feels awful and tries to befriend her or do something to make it up to her, but she just doesn’t really like him. i think her aunt and uncle are emotionally abusive to her and prince boy does his best to be there for her without making things worse. if i remember correctly, i liked that aspect of the movie because it’s hard to be there for a victim of any kind of abuse if trying to help them could potentially hurt them more, especially minors still under the care of abusive guardians. anyway i think cinderella girl’s best friend is in love with her or something but she ends up not being into him and slowly gets together with prince boy. she eventually moves out of her guardians’ house and into the spare house at prince boy’s home (he’s rich or something). i need to rewatch this movie tbh i could be wrong about everything here lol.

rags (2012) - not amazing, definitely not memorable because i have nothing to say about its plot or writing, but it has keke palmer which is its one redeeming quality. also it’s the only one on this list where the male protagonist is the cinderella. so that’s solid i guess.

a cinderella story: if the shoe fits (2016) - this was a movie. it happened. i vaguely remember how ridiculous it was and sometimes i felt secondhand embarrassment. i don’t remember what about specifically, but i remember the emotion. sofia carson is a talented singer. i think she’s a decent actor but this script was Bad.

elle: a modern cinderella tale (2010) - i only watched this one because i was bored out of my damn mind and saw it on youtube. i felt bad for all the actors because this script was terrible. i don’t recommend this unless you’re about to sit down with your squad and make fun of it.

apparently descendants is on the “cinderella adaptations and references” list on imdb but i refuse to put it on my list because it’s not a cinderella-specific adaptation and i don’t like the descendants franchise. now, if we’re going to discuss a quality series about the children of fairytale characters, that would hands down be ever after high. but that’s a different topic for a different day.

thus concludes the ranking no one asked for but i felt compelled to make. thank you and goodnight

#summer.txt #cinderella #longpost #if anyone reads through this whole thing congrats!#i'll get u a gold star from the esteemed dollar store and bequeath it to you via uploaded photo #i didn't think i'd be typing for 4 hours straight but apparently i have a lot to say #i started falling apart at the end there lol #and around the middle bc i forgot to add cinderella 1 and 2 #god my head fucking hurts #i had a craving for sugar today but i went overboard and now i'm paying the price

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lovelytonys · 5 years

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100 great things about megamind

basically i just watched megamind and wrote down everything that made me go “hey that’s good”

1. The opening monologue slaps I literally do not care about your “cliches” it’s GOOD

2. “8 days old and still living with my parents...pathetic right?”

3. The idea that Megamind is inherently good since his origin story should have been his dad saying he’s destined for “greatness” but the greatness got cut off uwu

4. Literally just the fact that Megamind was about to go to the Rich Nice House and his destiny changed at the last second,,,everything about this movie makes it a cinematic masterpiece

5. “A baby! How thoughtful!” “yes yes I saw it and thought of you”

6. “While they were learning the itsy bitsy spider I was learning how to dehydrate objects and rehydrate them at will”

7. When you hear the Bad to the Bone guitar riff kick in,,,,,,heck yeah babey!!

8. J.K Simmons is here! yeah!

9. Will Ferrell’s voice acting is literally SO darn good like even just from the beginning,,, the funny affectation of whatever kind of accent that is,,,,,the expressiveness of literally everything he says,,,,,I’m not actively a fan of Will Ferrell or anything but he just did a good job ok

10. “His heart is an ocean inside a bigger ocean”

11. Idk why but I just love the phrase “you fantastic fish you”

12. Metro Man is such a fun character. Like. A hero who shouldn’t be a hero, but he just….is one? Someone who’s idol-worshipped and, despite his grandeur, doesn’t exactly deserve it?

13. MEGAMIND’S CHARACTER DESIGN IS LITERALLY SO GOOD like the vivid colors of his skin and eyes? His COSTUME? His hilarious proportions, between the giant head and the skinny & scrawny everything else? Superb, you funky little alien

14. All dialogue between Megamind and Minion is god tier by default

15. The twist on “damsel in distress” where yeah the girl gets kidnapped but she is so not distressed and has the intellectual power in the situation as she roasts Megamind at every turn and he can’t combat anything she says

16. “Oh potato tomato potato tomato”

17. “I’m shaking in my BABY SEAL LEATHER BOOTS”

18. THE ENTIRE EXCHANGE BETWEEN MEGAMIND AND METRO MAN ABOUT JUSTICE AND REVENGE AND THE MICROWAVE OF EVIL AND WARRANTIES

19. “Can someone stamp my frequent kidnapping card” “You of all people know that we discontinued that”

20. The way this movie manages to SO effectively establish character while diving right into the action and keeping with a fun, fast pace? The world & characters are set up incredibly well AND the start of the journey/ “break into the new world” hits at a brisk 20 minutes? Lovely work, Dreamworks

21. When Highway to Hell kicks in with the lasers and Megamind dancing at the police,,,,,this is nothing short of priceless

22. “Imagine the most horrible terrifying evil thing you could possibly think of and multiply it…..BY SIX”

23. When you’re a supervillain who takes over the city and you say “let’s just have fun with this” to the citizens

24. *whispering behind the door* “now slam the door really hard!” *snickering like a 12 year old girl* “move they can still see you”

25. “Did you think this day would come?” “No, no not in a million years, not ever...I mean yes”

26. “That’s called a window, sir. All the kids are looking through them”

27. Crazy Train is SUCH a nice touch, the fade into Alone Again Naturally is great. The use of music in this movie is absolutely A+, MEGAMIND DID IT FIRST AND GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AIN’T SPECIAL (jk gotg you’re so special ily)

28. The images of Megamind’s destruction & deterioration of the city are so creative and funny

29. *to a desk toy bird* “What’s your vacuum like?”

30. “GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN SIR”

31. Haven’t yet mentioned how lovely the animation of Megamind’s face is! Every single frame, he’s so expressive

32. Mispronunciation of words like “school”, “Metro City”, and “melancholy”

33. This voice cast in general is so good like it’s not just big names phoning it in for an animated movie, they’re fully into it

34. Real Bernard doesn’t get much screen time but he’s hilarious

35. “Typhoon Cheese”, whatever that was gonna be

36. The juxtaposition in body language & facial expression between Real Bernard and Megamind Bernard,,,,,actually just the way Megamind’s physicality is transferred to the other characters he disguises himself as. Great stuff

37. Megamind’s off-the-walls high energy is so fun and electric

38. “This is a bad idea” “yes, a good idea for the greater good of bad” “maybe it seems good from your bad perception but from a good perception it’s just plain bad” “oh you don’t know what’s good for bad”

39. Ollo? Oh, hello

40. “I’m just yelling at my…..mother’s urn”

41. Megamind and Minion just saying “code” before things that aren’t in code. This movie is so good with its running gags, they don’t feel like “oh haha they used that joke again!” they feel like inside jokes between the characters I love it

42. Megamind fighting himself as Bernard while complimenting himself, COMEDY GOLD

43. The various occurrences of random life-altering things happening on a whim to the wrong people, like Hal getting the superpowers and earlier Metro Man being molded into a hero and Megamind landing in prison as a baby

44. The forget me stick

45. Space Dad and Space Stepmom

46. Every character Megamind inhabits always retains Megamind’s eyes

47. MR BLUE SKY PLAYING OVER HAL’S DISASTROUS TRAINING SEQUENCE AND THE FALLING IN LOVE SEQUENCE THAT INCLUDES DONKEY KONG AND MEGAMIND WEIRDLY TEXTING ON A FLIP PHONE (gotgv2 who? Don’t know her)

48. Roxanne’s positive influence making Megamind genuinely want to make the city better uwu

49. ROXANNE AND METRO MAN WERE NEVER A COUPLE! Lovely trope subversion

50. Tropes in this movie in general are so fun. This isn’t some uninspired genre parody. They don’t just subvert tropes in the exact way that you’d expect. I feel like the way that this movie plays with the superhero genre often feels unique and creative

51. Bernard’s character design kind of slaps tbh. The turtleneck, the hair, the glasses, all very nice

52. When Hal calls Roxanne “a really good looking one I’ve got my eye on” like she’s meat or something as opposed to Megamind valuing her personality…..makes ya think u know

53. T h e b l a c k m a m b a a a a a

54. “Maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore!” and Megamind & Minion’s subsequent falling out that served as a precursor to the disastrous date with Roxanne- it happens pretty much exactly halfway through the movie. Some people look down upon following structure to a T, but sometimes it’s satisfying when a movie perfectly follows structure and this movie’s structure is flawless

55. “Good luck on your date” “I will” “That doesn’t even make any sense” “I know”

56. Right after fighting w Minion when Megamind looks in a cracked mirror and frowns at his reflection but then changes into someone else, into Bernard, and then smiles? THE CINNAMON TOGROPHY, THE STORYTELLING

57. When Hal is just an incel whose feeling of entitlement is framed as disgusting and he’s not supposed to be sympathetic and Roxanne’s rejection of him is not framed as evil but rather completely justified? VERY epic of them, this movie would have SMASHED the pop culture scene if it came out today

58. The GRAVITY of the part when Roxanne accidentally reveals Megamind in the restaurant is so powerful that I can STILL barely watch it even though I’ve seen it so many times

59. The part that immediately follows where Roxanne shuts down Megamind is SO well done. Roxanne is giving out some harsh words to our dear protagonist, but she is not framed as the bad guy. The great thing about this scene is that they let Roxanne call out Megamind on how he’s been a jerk and she gets to be RIGHT. How very cash money of them! The emotion here isn’t anger at Roxanne because she’s ~being mean~ to Megamind. It’s a sting over the fact that she’s right, and the heartbreak over the dramatic irony of us knowing that Megamind is becoming a better person and Roxanne having no idea. Now Megamind is left with a decision that will show who he truly is on the inside: he could either retreat back into safe, evil ways for the rest of time because it’s easier to be bad because then no one expects anything from him and rejection is easier to handle, or he could ultimately choose to grow from this and recognize how he was wrong and how he has to change. The execution of this midpoint is exemplary.

60. “Do you really think I’d ever be with you?” “....no” the delivery of those lines is so good

61. “You were right! I was….less right!”

62. The Black Mamba is a god tier costume and the fact that it has its own theme song in the score makes it at least 6x better

63. WHEN BACK IN BLACK KICKS IN YEAAAHHHH (Iron Man who? Don’t know her) (Iron Man was already out at this point but how fun is it that this movie used TWO iconic mcu songs)

64. Megamind in the giant suit playing with cars

65. Hal SUCKS I love how much the movie wants you to hate him

66. The difference between Megamind and Hal/Titan/Tighten is so interesting to watch. How Megamind is the self-proclaimed “bad guy” but he’s not even out to do serious damage & it’s just a game to him, while Hal is out for blood but was created to be a hero

67. “Now it’s time for witty banter” “AAAAAAAAA” “I’m not really sure where to go with that”

68. “I’M CALLING A TIME OUT”

69. Twisting the Kryptonite trope by having Metro Man make up the copper weakness

70. “Does he have a hideout? A cave? A solitary fortress?” lol I understood that reference

71. “OW! MY GIANT BLUE HEAD!”

72. Metro Man’s confession scene is so good. Really, how often do you get a hero who feels that he was forced into being a hero? That’s usually a villain trope. Does the hero ever realize he doesn’t want to be a hero….and actually quit FOR GOOD? Again, the trope subversion is awesome

73. “I have eyes that can see right through leaaaaaaaad” that’s my favorite song

74. “You left the city to HIM! No offense” “no I’m with you”

75. “There’s a yin for every yang. If there’s bad, good will rise up against it.”

76. “I say we just go all GANGSTA on him” ms tina fey i would die for you

77. Megamind turns himself in to the police, the fact that he willingly submits himself to the punishment of being a villain at this point is a lovely and stirring way of showing the sense of justice he has deep down and showing his character development

78. When Roxanne gives Megamind a desperate & compassionate pep talk over live tv no matter what it means for her reputation :*))

79. When Megamind has 88 life sentences

80. “I. Am. Sorry!” *dramatically slides down door*

81. Megamind’s heartfelt and regretful admission of all his mistakes that brings his character arc to a head? Lovely

82. “Good luck” “WE’RE GONNA D I E! Hahahaha!”

83. “There is no Easter bunny, there is no tooth fairy, and there is no queen of England.”

84. MEGAMIND’S EPIC ENTRANCE BY COMING OUT OF HIS OWN MOUTH

85. “Oh you’re a villain alright. Just not a super one.” “Oh yeah? What’s the difference?”

86. P R E S E N T A T I O N

87. METRO MAN THUNDER CALVES

88. Again with the green eyes continuity! Love that!

89. “Going somewhere? Besides jail?” *flies in a fancy pose*

90. When Megamind is ready to let everyone think Metro Man is back but Roxanne wants to see the real hero :*))

91. “This is the last time you make a fool out of me!” “I made you a hero, you did the fool thing all by yourself” SICK BURN

92. “There’s a benefit to losing. You get to learn from your mistakes”

93. WHEN THE DEHYDRATION GUN COMES IN CLUTCH

94. Minion being a drama queen lol comedy peaked in 2010

95. Minion’s Little Face

96. “GET BACK YOU SAVAGES” “Sorry he’s just not used to positive feedback!”

97. “Destiny is not the path given to us but the path we choose for ourselves”

98. When Megamind gets to parallel Metro Man’s entrance from the beginning of the movie and everyone cheers for him :*)) and he adds his own fun little twist by making a villain joke

99. “Megamind, defender of Metro City” “you know? I like the sound of that!”

100. Name a better villain to hero story. YOU CANNOT. Cinematic excellence. I am never disappointed.

#I DO NOT DESERVE RIGHTS #lovelytonys personal thought

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megaboy335 · 4 years

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Mega’s 2019 Top Anime List

Another year of anime has come and gone. This year I ended up watching a lot less due to the over saturation of Isekai and light novel anime, but there was still plenty to enjoy. As usual I consider any show that ended this year as a contender to be on my list. This is simply my opinion and there will be spoilers below.

1) Pokemon Sun & Moon

Starting this list with a show I watched for 3 years, Pokemon Sun and Moon was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had with the Pokemon anime. It took the best aspects of XY and added loose animation to the mix. Ash and friends have never had so much personality as each episode brought the characters to life in new ways with funny facial expressions. As an adaptation of the game, Pokemon SM did better in some areas compared to others. The trials were simplified or restructured to account for Ash’s classmates being trial captains in the game. While the Kahuna battles were spaced out very far apart in the anime. I always thought it was strange that in-between major story battles, Ash barely ever thought about the challenges.

The two major story highlights of the anime are Lusamine’s arc and the Pokemon League. Lusamine’s story was the main plot of SM and it played out almost exactly like the game. Her downfall to her Ultra Beasts obsession and then Lillie knocking some sense back into her mom is still an emotional highlight of the series. In any Pokemon anime, the Pokemon League is what brings meaning to Ash’s entire journey through the region. SM’s league is similar to the game where it’s the first league of the region. The rival pairings and matches were completely predictable, but it ended with two big surprises. First, Ash was actually allowed to win for once (matching your character becoming the first champion in the game), and secondly he had a full 6 v 6 match with Kukui. It spanned 3.5 episodes with Ash’s Litten completing its character arc by reaching its final form during the battle. It was a rare match where both parties are battling it out for fun and it ended with a flashy finale of two hype Z-moves. Pokemon SM will be remembered for its simplicity, yet ambitious approach in always showing something new week after week.

2) Mob Psycho 100 Season 2

Mob-Psycho continues where it left off in season 1. The main protagonists have come away from a battle with Claw and now daily life resumes. This season featured a love story, Reigen’s arc, deeper exploration into psychic powers, and the return of Claw. Just like in season 1, Mob continues to excel in two major areas. First is of course the animation. An average episode of Mob is literally that one stand-out episode of a one cour anime. Psychic power usage is often a reflection of emotions and they are animated in different ways depending on the characters thoughts in a particular scene. There were so many highlights this season that it would be impossible to list them all.

Mob’s second strength is the character writing. In season 1 Mob was a boy struggling to create his own identity. This season Mob actively tries to break out of his shell and become his own unique person. We see this through his efforts with the fitness club, again when he separates from Regien, and again as he shows everyone that having psychic powers is no substitute for personal growth or status. Mob is no longer a timid boy like he was at the start of the series. He can now stand on his own two feet and help others who are struggling to get up. Considering there is still a little more manga left to cover, I can only hope it gets one last season to finish out the story.

3) Kaguya-Sama: Love is War

In order to understand the appeal of Kaguya-Sama, just for a second imagine if Death Note was a romantic comedy. Both of the protagonists are locked into a battle of wits to outsmart the other in the events of daily life. The mere act of choosing a vacation spot, going somewhere, or giving an item to each other suddenly becomes a high stakes duel. Kaguya-sama follows Kaguya herself and Shirogane as they try to avoid being the first to admit their love for each other. The side characters only help to add wildcards to each battle such as Chika being able to change the tide of battle with a single phrase.

I enjoyed seeing how absurd each battle would become week after week. The presentation is simple, yet very effective in this anime. Resources were definitely allocated for use in certain places for maximum impact. The voice acting also helped a ton in selling just how important each battle was in the minds of the characters. Overall, the series knows how to play with your expectations. Some battles turn out as expected, some with a twist, and others end on some kind of middle ground. However, each battle brings them a little closer together. I can’t wait for the next season in April.

4) Run with the Wind

Almost all sports anime revolve around high school students trying to become as good as possible and win nationals before the 3rd years graduate. However, Run with the Wind takes a different approach to this formula. It focuses on a group of college students who, at the start at least, would rather do anything else than run. It takes about half of the show before our group of characters even get on the same page about running. I enjoyed how this anime put us into the heads of each character. Some have personal reasons for not wanting to run, while for others it was something trivial. However, by committing themselves to the team they each gained a new outlook on themselves and those around them. It was quite literally an uphill for the team to reach the level of success they got at the end. The final run brilliantly showed how each character learned from the experience and how the time they spent on the team was a positive life changing moment. Run with the Wind shows that it's never too late to try something new.

5) JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind

Jojo is back on the list after an extended break between parts 4 and 5. Compared to previous stories, Part 5 is most similar to part 3. There is a quest to clear and it involves the main group traveling across the land and defeating enemy stand users each step of the way. The differences between part 5 and its previous stories becoming apparent right away. First off, the protagonist is not a traditional Joestar. He is the son of Dio born from when he had Jonathan’s body. Secondly, the group of main characters are not exactly good guys. As mafia members they display a sense of unity, but lack the high integrity of previous Jojo characters. A connection they all share is being looked down upon in society, but placing a place in the world through Bucciarati’s squad.

The aspect that makes or breaks a JoJo story for me is usually the villain. I consider Diavolo to be the weakest of any villain across the various JoJo stories. During the early arcs of the story, Diavolo comes off as an interesting character. He has a mysterious personality and will clearly stop at nothing to keep his identity hidden, including killing his own daughter. The series then adds layer of complexity when we meet his alter ego Doppio. The two personalities are clearly distinctive, but the line between which one is charge can be murky. However, his character intrigue quickly comes crashing down as the final arc fully brings Diavolo into the limelight. The story comes down to who can control the stand arrow, which is a sharp contrast to previous villains who drove the final arc on the back of their eccentric personalities. While JoJo part 5 is still a good anime, it will always come near the bottom of my favorite JoJo parts.

The Year of High Profile Weekly Shonen Jump Anime Adaptations

As the 2016-17 hits from Weekly Shonen Jump have aged up, all of their anime dropped in succession this year. I am a huge fan of the magazine, so here’s a section with some quick thoughts of their anime.

The Promise Neverland - The anime changed the escape arc from a mental battle to a horror series. While animation is definitely better suited to playing with the idea of show don’t tell, the result ended up being telling the story through a different lens. While I appreciated the idea, I feel it came up short. The loss of Posuka Demizu’s art was another major blow to the mood they were trying to create.

Kimetsu no Yaiba - When the manga first began, I never imagined it would become a 1+ Million seller. Ufotable brought their top class digital effects to a manga that at a quick glance would make anyone think it would be the last series to get such treatment. The anime brought a lot to the table and greatly helped to bring the manga to life. It was a great experience from start to finish (episode 19 is a major highlight of the year). I’m looking forward to the upcoming film.

Dr. Stone - Compared to the other Jump anime this year, Dr. Stone’s animation and presentation stuck very close to the manga (if not even inferior to Boichi’s creative spreads at times). The aspect that sold this anime best was the voice cast. They brought so much life into the characters and conveyed the passion each one has for science and learning. I enjoyed seeing Senku create his inventions in animated form.

Bokuben - This might not exactly be considered “high-profile”, but I can’t help but find myself impressed by the anime week after week. It adds a few touches here and there to better tell a cohesive story and occasionally adds a scene or two. I appreciated the heart the anime brought to the series through the seiyuu. Introducing a new seiyuu unit from the cast was also a nice bonus as well.

Best OP/EDs of the year:

1) One Piece Opening 22 - The One Piece anime has changed dramatically under Tatsuya Nagamine. This opening is fast paced and filled with future story teases. It changes the format by cutting the op run time down to 2 minutes and includes clips of the episode. The final sequence of Luffy vs. Kaido always gets me hyped each to watch the episode each week.

2) Mob Psycho II Opening - This opening feels like a natural continuation of the first season opening. It once again showcases how the show is full of creative animation and unusual characters.

3) Mix Opening 1- Mitsuru Adachi is known for his nuanced writing of giving characters the space to convey their thoughts. This opening fully shows these traits through its sequence of character shots that feel like a natural usage of his writing style.

4) Kaguya-Sama Chika Ending - Cute song and amazing choreography. There’s a clear reason why this swept across the internet last winter

5) JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5 Opening 2 - Not only is Traitor’s Requiem a very cool name for a song for this part of the story, but the plot teases are perfectly timed in the song. The opening animation also kept on giving with the villain version and Giorno later recapturing the opening.

This brings 2019 to a close and another decade comes to an end. As my way of recapping the decade, here is a list of my top shows in each post I have made since I started posting them in 2014:

Space Brothers

Hunter x Hunter

Kill la Kill

Nisekoi

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 3

Sore ga Seiyuu

Death Parade

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 3 (Second Half)

Hibike Euphonium

One Punch Man Season 1

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 4

Mob Psycho 100 Season 1

Yuri on Ice

Konosuba Season 1

Sakamoto Desu Ga?

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

Tsuki Ga Kirei

Re:Creators

Ero-manga Sensei

Owarimonogatari (the Monogatari series in general)

Hugtto Precure

A Place Further than the Universe

Yuru Camp

Dragonball Super

S.S.S.S. Gridman

#Mega's Words

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dvp95 · 5 years

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can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 5

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e (eventually)

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 5,429 for this chapter (21,158 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Dan has made a lot of very bad decisions with alcohol in his system. Some of them he can laugh about now, like the time he sprained his ankle trying to sing Toxic whilst stood on a table and ended up toppling onto the floor of an Atlanta bar when he'd tried to shimmy. He hasn't been allowed back there since.

"To be fair," Patrick says when Dan voices this memory fondly, "you would have done that sober."

"You know, I probably would," says Dan. He finishes his glass of wine and eyes the hotel room desk thoughtfully. "D'you think -"

"No," says Patrick.

"Oh, go on, let him," Jaime laughs. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"I'm not even dignifying that with an answer."

They don't often drink together, because usually they're working, and nothing kills a buzz faster than a 4am wakeup call to get to hair and makeup on time. Plus, Dan doesn't drink as much as he used to. He's nearing thirty, closeted, and clinically depressed, he doesn't need to add alcohol to that fun mix.

But it's Thursday night, they've finished their last interview in London until late next week, and Jaime had pulled a couple of bottles out of her room to celebrate 'nobody falling off a stage yet this year'. So, they're drinking.

They've ended up in Dan's room because he remembered to bring his Switch and he doesn't have dirty pants lying around. Patrick is sprawled across the foot of Dan's bed and Jaime, after a long process of attempting to get comfortable on the armchair, has slid to the floor with Dan. The wine is good and strong and Dan might be a little buzzed.

Dan's phone buzzes with a text from Phil. He can't stop the easy smile from breaking across his face, but Patrick and Jaime are too busy bickering about whether or not Dan breaking his neck would be worth a repeat performance to notice.

Still on for tomorrow? :)

ya!, Dan sends before he can regret showing enthusiasm.

He doesn't need to worry too much, because Phil responds with a Yay!! and that's objectively less cool.

Some of the bad decisions Dan has made when he's drunk are ones that he can't actually laugh about, either because they're horrifically embarrassing - like climbing into bed with his friend's parents - or because they hurt too much to be funny - like ending up with a black eye after he mouthed off to a skinhead at Reading Festival - or because they're, well. The bad decision he's about to make again.

you should come hang out at the hotel, Dan texts Phil, because tipsy Dan is even hornier than regular Dan.

You want me to come over?

Phil is walking that line again, waiting for Dan to be upfront so he doesn't have to be.

The thing is, Dan could say yes, kick his costars out of his room, and make another bad decision in a long line of them, but. He really likes Phil. This isn't the same thing as hitting up a crew member on the downlow.

He still wants to see Phil, though. So he says, yeah me n patrick n jaime are drinking and you should join usssss, makes it clear this isn't some kind of booty call.

Okay! I'd love to meet your friends. What hotel are you at?

Another glass and a half of wine and four rounds of Mario Kart later, Dan is vaguely surprised by a knock at his room's door.

"We aren't being that loud, are we?" Jaime asks, her drawl almost incomprehensible now that she's two sheets to the wind. Patrick shrugs, and then Dan remembers.

"Oh!" he says, wobbling to his feet. "I asked Phil to come hang out with us."

"Who?"

"Dog man!" Jaime exclaims. Dan is laughing as he opens the door, and Jaime repeats herself even louder. "Dog man! Hello!"

"Hi," says Phil, slow and amused.

He looks good. Dan is wondering if he ever doesn't, honestly, but Phil had clearly put some effort in tonight. He's wearing a bright, patterned button-down that's open at the throat, and he's close enough that Dan can smell his cologne.

"You're dog man," Dan tells him unnecessarily. "Come in, we've got wine."

"Oh, I wasn't sure what we were drinking." Phil's body brushes against Dan's in the narrow entryway as he accepts Dan's invitation. Dan cannot, for the life of him, tell if it is intentional or not. "I brought vodka. It's birthday cake flavoured? I have no idea if it's any good, it just looked fun."

"Nice," says Patrick. His head and shoulders are in danger of falling off the foot of Dan's bed as he plays Mario Kart upside down.

"This is Jaime and Patrick," says Dan. Remembering how quickly Phil had decided to call him by a nickname, he adds, "Just Patrick, don't call him Pat or he'll kick you."

"Noted," says Phil. He puts the bottle down on the desk and smiles. "Nice to meet you both."

"Nice to meet you," Jaime echoes in a terrible English accent. It doesn't even come in the same realm as Phil's dialect. She giggles to herself and pats the piece of carpet beside her. "Phil, right? Come sit with me! Show me pictures of your dog!"

Phil laughs and does as he's told, folding his long limbs up to lean against the dresser with Jaime.

While Phil gets his gallery open and Patrick races against the computer, Dan decides to be a good host and pour them all new drinks. He doesn't know if the flavoured vodka will mix well with his Coke at all, but. That's what he's got, so that's what his friends are getting. He takes little sips to test as he mixes, making sure it's alcoholic enough and isn't too awful.

He looks over at the sound of Jaime's delighted laughter and feels his lips curve upwards. Jaime's deep skin, dark clothes, and bubblegum pink hair that might or might not be a wig are all such a contrast to Phil that seeing them together is almost comical, but they look sweet.

Dan can't help but snap a picture, then another of Patrick, who is still upside down, then a final shot of his concoctions. He adds all three to his Instagram story and tags his friends in them, hoping sober Dan won't hate him too much for it.

"Here you go," Dan says once he's done fucking around on his phone. He holds out two disposable hotel cups to Phil and Jaime, who both beam up at him.

"Thanks," says Jaime.

The smile on Phil's face is enough to make Dan confident that this was a good idea. "Thanks, Dan."

Patrick and Jaime make dramatic 'oooh' noises, like kids when someone gets called to the headteacher's office. Phil looks between them with a bemused sort of expression, and Dan is just trying to keep his blush to a minimum as he sips his drink.

"You gonna let that slide, Daniel?" Patrick asks, emphasising Dan's full name with a bad English accent of his own. Dan imagines that's how Patrick thinks he sounds every time he corrects anyone at work who calls him Dan.

"Yeah," Dan mumbles into his cup. "S'fine."

With a giggle, Jaime leans closer to Phil and stage-whispers, "He doesn't let anyone call him that."

"I let some people," Dan defends himself, although it's true that he hasn't introduced himself as Dan since uni. He's certainly never been okay with people he works with deciding to call him Dan, because it's a forced familiarity he doesn't like.

"Really?" Phil asks. He's got this wary look on his face, like he's not sure if he's the butt of the joke here or not. "I didn't know that. Does it bother you?"

"Not when you say it," Dan says, a little too quickly and too honestly.

Jaime giggles, but Dan is too busy staring at his drink and wondering if it's technically deep enough to drown in to look at her. He doesn't want to look at Phil, either, doesn't want to see whatever's happening behind those big eyes.

"I mean, it makes sense," Jaime says, still in that carrying whisper. "Seeing as Daniel thinks you're cute and all."

"Jaime!" Dan practically gasps. He loses the fight to his blush, feeling his face burn with it.

He turns a glare on her that probably isn't very effective with his lobster cheeks, and she blinks at him for a moment before she grins.

"Oh, sorry," she says. "Was that a secret?"

Patrick laughs like it's a joke, and Jaime joins him, before they start chatting about the cake vodka like Dan isn't standing in the middle of his hotel room, terrified.

It's not like Dan has exactly been subtle - he's sure that Phil knows how he feels. But that's not something he wants to have brought up in the way straight people joke about being attracted to each other, because it's not a joke.

Or... maybe they know that. Maybe his coworkers have caught on to something Dan has tried so hard to keep at the very corners of his mind. Maybe they aren't making the 'haha imagine if you actually thought a guy was cute' joke, but are rather just teasing him for his crush the same way he does to them when they mention a barista is cute or something.

He's not really sure which is worse, to be honest. Does he want them to be assuming he's straight or assuming he's not? He doesn't even know.

What does he want Phil to think?

At the thought, Dan's eyes drift to Phil. Naturally, like they belong there, like he shouldn't be looking anywhere else. His breath hitches in his chest when he sees that Phil was already looking back at him.

There's a moment of sheepishness, where they have to acknowledge that they've been caught staring at each other, but then... Phil smiles.

It's a smile Dan has seen before, on the park bench and on his FaceTime screen and in Phil's living room, and Dan thinks he could look at it forever.

Dan is the first one to break their eye contact, grinning into his hand like Phil won't notice.

"Budge up," Dan tells Patrick, louder than necessary. "I think we should all race. Loser has to take a shot."

"Oh no," Phil says. It occurs to Dan that Phil is still more or less sober, since he hasn't been drinking all evening like they've been. He wonders what Phil is like when he's drunk. "Do you have enough controllers?"

"Yeah, let me just," says Dan.

His friends all get comfortable on the king bed while Dan searches his luggage for his extra joy-cons. He keeps the red and blue ones with him when he travels just in case, but he generally only uses the black ones. They're much more his aesthetic.

Patrick is still lounging like a lord being hand-fed grapes, but Phil and Jaime have both settled against the headboard like normal human beings. There's enough space between them for Dan to sit, and he feels a warmth spread through him that has nothing to do with alcohol or embarrassment. He's just happy that his friends left room for him, are thinking about him.

It's actually kind of pathetic that these three people are the best friends Dan has. After all, two of them are being paid to be friendly with him and he only just met Phil.

Dan gives himself a little shake to physically get rid of the self-deprecating thoughts, because that's never a good road to go down when he's drinking. He should just enjoy having a good time with people he likes.

And he does. He sits close enough to Phil that their shoulders brush and pokes at Patrick with his foot to distract him and lets Jaime's trill of a laugh loosen the knot in his chest until he forgets it's there. He's having fun, honestly, in a way he hasn't let himself in a long time.

Phil loses the first two games and takes the punishment shots with grace, but then he ups the ante.

"Next one to lose has to finish it in one," he declares. There's a little less than three shot's worth in the bottle, and Dan exchanges amused looks with Jaime and Patrick over the idea of Phil chugging that.

Turns out, Phil is either extremely lucky or a fucking grifter. He edges Dan out of first place in the last few seconds of the race and cheers loud enough that Dan is sure they're going to get complaints from neighbouring rooms. Patrick, who ended up in seventh thanks to a well-timed red shell, insists that Phil must have cheated somehow. Still, he takes the vodka from a gloating Phil and finishes it off to the dulcet tones of the three of them chanting, "Chug! Chug!"

Patrick, understandably, excuses himself to go to sleep not long after the alcohol hits his system. He leaves his sandals on Dan's floor and heads down the hall barefoot.

"Why am I responsible for these now?" Dan asks the room at large, idly clearing up the mess they'd left. He doesn't want to wake up in the morning with a cake-flavoured hangover and a bunch of tiny plastic cups laying about.

"You're the team mom, Dan," Jaime coos, poking at his cheek. She's small enough that she has to lean up on her tiptoes to do so.

"Daniel," Dan corrects her automatically.

With a triumphant sort of look over her shoulder, Jaime pats Dan's face with her tiny palm. Dan feels himself blushing again now that he realises what she's teasing him for.

"You're so cute," she says, pinching at his soft cheek before she settles back down on flat feet with a grin. "I'm gonna head out, too. It was really nice to meet you, Phil! You should come back next week! And bring your dog!"

"I'll see what I can do," says Phil. His voice has gone deeper than usual with the alcohol, and he's propped up on his elbows with his long legs spread out over Dan's bed. He smirks, but if that's at Jaime's request or at the way Dan's mouth has obviously gone dry, Dan can't tell.

He looks at Jaime to see if she's still laughing at him, but Jaime is too busy raking her own eyes down Phil's body. She notices Dan staring and winks at him.

"See you tomorrow," she says, tone laden with implications that Dan isn't sober enough to parse.

She takes Patrick's sandals with her as a joke, tells them to let him think he lost them, and Dan's throat feels thick with some kind of emotion when the door clicks behind her and he's alone with Phil.

"You wanna keep playing?"

Phil is either completely oblivious to the way Dan is aching for him, or he knows and is waiting for Dan to make the first move.

Well, Dan is at least cognizant enough to remember all the reasons why making that move would be a terrible idea. He really ought to tell Phil he's tired and that he should probably head home to Thor, but. He likes the way he feels when he's with Phil. And until one of them decides to voice the question of whatever's happening here, he'll just enjoy it.

"Yeah, if you're ready to get your ass kicked," says Dan. He smirks right back at Phil and sits a respectable distance away on the other side of the bed.

"Big words for a man who got second place last round," says Phil, voice lilting on some of his vowels.

"I don't know how you did that," Dan says, pointing a slightly wobbly finger in Phil's face. Phil acts like he's going to bite at it, and Dan pulls back reflexively. "But I know it was a fucking fluke, okay?"

"It wasn't a fucking fluke. I'll totally, like, annihilate you, Howell."

Hearing Phil swear is still unnervingly sexy, but his trash talk is bad enough that it makes Dan laugh, distracts him from the taut atmosphere.

Dan meets Phil's eyes, which are twinkling in the low light of the television screen and single bedside lamp. "You're on."

When Dan stirs from his weirdly restless dreams, he's got such a pounding headache that he groans dramatically, even though nobody is around to hear him. Every movement is making nausea swell, but he needs to stretch out his sore limbs. He must have slept funny or something.

He starfishes out and jolts fully awake with a stronger wave of nausea when his right hand hits something solid.

Dan yelps, his eyes flying open, and an answering groan from the other side of the bed has him panicking until he recognises the shape of the shoulders and the pattern of the shirt.

"Phil?" he whispers, trying to calm himself down.

"What?"

Phil's sleep-husky voice has heat curling in Dan's stomach that threatens to spread. Luckily, he feels like shit enough for it not to take over his body.

He reaches out again, on purpose this time, and pokes between Phil's shoulder blades. "Uh. Why are you here?"

"Got drunk," Phil grunts. "Fell 'sleep. Go away."

"This is my bed," says Dan.

"Shhh."

"Why am I topless?" Dan asks, mostly to himself. He didn't black out or anything crazy, but the night is kind of blurry around the edges, especially once he and Phil were left alone.

Phil sighs. He rolls over and squints in the general direction of Dan's torso. "You took your shirt off because you said it was too hot."

That does sound like something Dan would do. Although, it also sounds like a tactic he might have used to make Phil distracted enough to lose at Mario Kart. He's kind of glad that he can't remember his thought process behind it.

"Oh," says Dan. "Uh. Hi."

"Hi," says Phil. He yawns and rubs at his eyes. "Glad I brought my contact case. Would have fucking sucked to crash in them."

Phil swearing in such a low, dry voice is almost enough to get Dan's blood flowing south, but then his headache throbs again and reminds it to stay where it is.

"So you can't even see me right now, can you?" Dan laughs, soft. "How bad are your eyes?"

"I can see kind of a light beige blur from here to here," Phil says, gesturing from Dan's face to his tummy. "I'm guessing that's you."

That gets a louder laugh out of Dan, and they both wince.

"Yeah, that's me."

"Don't know about you, Daniel," says Phil, "but I feel like death warmed over right now."

"You can call me Dan, y'know," says Dan. He feels himself blush a bit at the reminder of everything Jaime and Patrick had said in front of Phil. He's glad Phil can't really see him. "Think you know me well enough."

Phil cracks a smile at him and grunts, rubbing more vigorously at his eyes like that'll magically bring his sight back. "Ugh. Need a coffee."

"Coffeemaker's busted," Dan says apologetically. Phil makes a truly pathetic noise, rolling onto his back and putting an arm over his face like a fainting maiden. "Fuck, fine, I'll go get some from the lobby. You needy little shit."

"You're the best, Dan," Phil yawns. "Owe you one."

"Yeah, yeah."

The waves of nausea make Dan move slowly, but they're not so horrible that he thinks he'll actually throw up. He's had a lot of experience with binge drinking until he vomits, and he knows his body well enough to be certain that this and his headache will recede as soon as he eats.

Food is a good idea, actually. Dan picks up his phone to get something greasy delivered to them posthaste.

He's got more activity on Instagram than he expects to, but then he remembers that he'd stupidly posted stories about getting drunk in a hotel room and tagged three semi-famous people in them. He looks at the photos again and decides, well, they're not awful.

A few new unread texts as well, adding to the stack of literally dozens that he keeps meaning to look at, but luckily those are just from his costars.

From Jaime, he gets that was funnnn, and phol is NICE, and hope u used protection xoxoxoox, and yall are sooooo cute omg ur FACE when u look at him, and u dont have to tell me but how long hav yall been datign, and jkdjmmmlllllllll, and sry durjk.

From Patrick, he gets Have you seen my Birkenstocks?

Dan is a little too hungover to deal with a panic attack at this time of day, so he leaves them both on read and orders breakfast for him and Phil.

He looks over at Phil, who's still flat on his back and shielding his eyes. His chest is rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm now, and Dan thinks that he's probably fallen back asleep.

"Lazy oaf," Dan murmurs, fond.

The thing is, Phil looks really good right now. Not the same way he'd looked good last night, when Dan had needed to fight not to jump his bones, but good in a way that makes Dan want to snuggle up next to him. It's a terrifying thought, but Dan thinks he could get used to the sight of Phil, asleep and tangled in Dan's sheets.

His button-down and jeans don't look very comfortable, though. Dan picks his way through his suitcase as quietly as possible and leaves a t-shirt and sweats on the foot of the bed for Phil to put on whenever he wakes up. After a moment's hesitation, he adds clean socks and pants to the pile.

It's not a big deal, he tells himself as he tugs a long sleeved t-shirt over his own head and stuffs his feet into his shoes. He'd do the same for any of his friends. The fact that his heart picks up speed at just the idea of Phil wearing his clothes is totally irrelevant.

So he leaves Phil snoring in his bed to go get them both breakfast. It's a little scary, how he feels like he could do this every single day.

Whatever. He'll deal with that after coffee.

"Last night was fun, actually."

Dan blinks up from his phone at the first full sentence Phil has uttered since he was woken up a second time. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," says Phil. "Even if I do feel like shit, I still had fun. I like your friends."

They're both in loungewear - Dan's loungewear, which is a little tight around Phil's upper arms and hips, god - and their delivered breakfast is long gone. Phil had communicated mostly in grunts and gestures until he'd downed half his boiling coffee in one go. It was very caveman of him. Dan hates that he'd found it hot.

Now they're just scrolling on their own phones, leaned up against the headboard, and Dan can feel his resolve start to crumble.

He's still unsure about himself. It's not like he's totally comfortable with the label he's so scared is the one for him, and he still doesn't know what he's doing with the rest of his life, but. He's not as unsure about wanting Phil to be in his life.

"I like them too," Dan says, bringing his lukewarm coffee to his lips to try and mask his slight blush. "I - well, they're probably my best friends. Other than... you."

Dan half expects Phil to laugh awkwardly or get all uncomfortable, but Phil just smiles at him.

"Y'know, I think you're mine, too," he says. "Is that weird?"

"If that's weird, then at least we're both weird," says Dan. Warmth is spreading through his whole body at the confirmation that Phil thinks of him the way he thinks of Phil. "Like I know we haven't known each other for long, or whatever, but that doesn't really seem to matter."

The smile on Phil's pretty face widens to something so bright and genuine that Dan has to look away. "Yeah, exactly. Feels like we were supposed to meet."

Dan rolls his eyes, trying to cover up the way his heart stutters. "Oh no, you're one of those people who believes in destiny."

"Yep," Phil says cheerfully. "Better get used to it."

Honestly, Dan likes the idea of that. Getting used to Phil's ridiculousness is something he thinks he could happily do. Not for the first time, Dan wishes he never had to leave this city.

"It's a good thing you're funny," Dan says, affecting an air of reluctance. It's probably not as effective when he's smiling into his shirt sleeve.

"And cute, right?" Phil teases.

Somehow, Dan had completely blocked that part of the evening from his memory. He groans and covers his face as the moment comes flooding back. God, he's going to kill Jaime for that. He hears Phil laugh, and then Dan's hands are being pulled away from his face by a cool, loose grip on his wrists.

Phil doesn't let go of him right away, just keeps grinning as he holds Dan's wrists between them on the mattress.

"Jaime's a liar," Dan grumbles. His heart is going fucking crazy. "I didn't - I mean, I didn't say you were cute, okay, she's exaggerating."

"What did you say, then?"

"Well. She said Thor was cute and I thought she meant you. That's all."

Dan regrets how well he's allowed Phil to know him, because Phil laughs and slides his hands down to squeeze both of Dan's in response. His touch doesn't linger. Dan bites back noises of disappointment, but Phil is only picking his phone back up.

"Thor is pretty cute, too. I better check up on him."

"Oh, yeah," says Dan. He's grateful for the topic being changed, but he won't act like he didn't want Phil's hands on his for longer. "He's okay, right? I didn't mean to kidnap you."

"Sure you didn't. It's fine, he's at my brother's. I," says Phil, then he stops. If Dan didn't know any better, he'd say Phil's cheeks are turning pink.

"You?" Dan prompts.

Phil gives him a sheepish sort of grin, and - yes. There's colour above his sharp cheekbones that wasn't there when he was teasing Dan. "I dunno. I kind of... figured I'd be staying over, so I dropped him off on my way here."

Now, Dan doesn't have time to unpack all that. He's not stupid or humble; he already knows that Phil wouldn't exactly complain if Dan were to push things further than they are right now. The issue, of course, is that the more important Phil becomes to Dan, the bigger and more dangerous of a leap it would be to go ahead and push that boundary.

He's leaving for a few days early tomorrow morning and putting some physical space between him and Phil, so. He'll overthink it all then, when he can lie on the floor by himself and let the waves of dread crash over him.

It really wouldn't be fair to their friendship to make a snap decision, and it wouldn't be fair to Phil to lie facedown on the hotel room floor while he's still here.

"Really," Dan says flatly, trying so hard not to tip the conversation into anything serious. Today isn't the day for that. "You brought your contact case and left Thor at Martyn's, but couldn't be bothered to bring a change of clothes? Your story is full of holes, Lester."

Phil laughs, a surprised sort of giggle that Dan wishes he could listen to on a loop.

"You caught me," says Phil. His voice is dry, but his eyes twinkle as he turns his attention back to his phone. "My end goal was stealing your trackies."

That might actually be true. Dan isn't opposed.

"You can," he says with a little shrug, like his heart isn't going wild at the thought. "They're a bit short on me, anyway."

"We're the same height, Dan."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day, Phil."

Another giggle. Phil's tongue pokes out between his teeth this time, and Dan feels the weirdest sense of pride. "Can I keep the shirt, too?"

"The shirt is a favourite, so you'd have to replace it," Dan says. "But if you're that desperate, sure."

"Nice," says Phil. "How much could it be to replace? Fifteen quid?"

Dan blinks and then honks a laugh. "Yeah, no, that's a Yeezy tee."

"Gesundheit," Phil says kindly.

"You might want to give that one back to me before you go," says Dan. "Because you're off by about a hundred dollars."

Phil's eyes widen comically and he looks down at himself.

"Dan. This is a t-shirt."

"It's a Yeezy t-shirt," Dan corrects him.

"Yeah, you can keep it." Phil sounds wary, like he's got a bomb strapped to his chest. "Have you got anything in the fifteen pound range so I don't feel horrible if I get coffee on it?"

"No," says Dan. Take it off if it bothers you so much, he wants to say, but he bites it back.

"Are these hundred-dollar trackies?"

"No, those are from H&M."

"Alright," Phil says with an exaggerated sigh of relief. "I'll take them off your hands, then."

"If you insist," Dan laughs. "How's Thor doing?"

The way Phil's whole face lights up at the question makes Dan's brain feel like mush. "He's good! Martyn sent me some pictures, you wanna see?"

"Obviously I want to see," says Dan. He scoots closer to Phil, leaning far enough into his space that he can smell the remainder of Phil's cologne still clinging to his neck. Dan holds back a shiver.

For a little while they stay like that, looking through the photos and videos of Thor that Phil's brother sent him and then moving on to photos and videos of Thor that are already saved to Phil's phone. Dan has no complaints - except, maybe, that the dog isn't here and in his lap right now.

It's deceptively easy to picture. Thor, curled up between them as they drink coffee and scroll through their respective feeds in comfortable silence, showing each other funny things every so often. Scratching behind Thor's ears and smiling over at Phil, unguarded. Happy.

This is going to make Dan crazy if he isn't careful. The domestic fantasies are somehow so much worse than the filthy ones.

"Do you want to do anything today?" Dan asks once Phil has reached puppy pictures and Dan is in very real danger of ugly crying over how tiny the corgi was. "I know we had plans, but I've still got a pretty massive headache."

"Oh, that's okay," says Phil. "I can head home whenever."

"No," Dan says, too quickly. "No, you - you can stay. I just mean I don't feel like, y'know, going anywhere. Let's just watch some movies and veg the fuck out."

"Alright," says Phil. His smile is slow and his voice is deep and his eyes are three different colours and goddamn, Dan is so fucked.

More than anything else that's happened with Phil since they met, this day is the thing making Dan's head spin. It isn't anything to write home about, all in all, since they really do just keep ordering food and watch made-for-tv movies until Phil has to leave, but.

Maybe it's having Phil wrapped up in the blankets of his temporary home, making half of Dan's bed smell like him. Maybe it's the way Phil keeps touching him so casually, a hand on his knee while they talk or rapid taps against his arm when Phil correctly predicts a plot twist. Maybe it's just Dan's internal walls starting to come down, less and less guilt surrounding the craving he has for the sound of Phil's laughter the longer that he's exposed to it.

In any case, Dan has to unpack all of these feelings before he sees Phil again. It's not something he's looking forward to, but maybe having a deadline will help.

Like it ever has in the past. Fuck.

#phanfiction #phanfic #dnp fic #phan #words words words #can't breathe when you touch my sleeve

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theorynexus · 4 years

Text

The Regal 75 signals another quarter of the century passing.

I still wonder if 100 posts will be enough to contain the epilogues! (Probably not.) Seems like it will be Jake and Jane, this time! I wonder if this version of events will see them have a consensual and healthy relationship that is not interfered with by the nefarious actions of rude people who happen to be megalomaniacs!

There are benefits and downsides to being “perfect.” (By the way, every utopia is also a dystopia. Let’s just make that absolutely clear from the get-go.) I imagine the weapons industry would be struggling quite a bit if it weren’t for alchemy allowing a nearly limitless capacity for customized gear creation. Wonder what they’re used for since there aren’t wars. Probably the noble art of hunting and whatnot. And professional sports based on combat disciplines a la real life fencing, and in-story Threshing, apparently. Oh, and it’s still weird for her to barge in like that, despite the social norms of that world and the little bit of time they’ve spent there (also how close they are).

I would just like to say that, for one, I would normally sortof side with Jane if those were real degrees (since degrees that are earned actually mean something), but with them being honorary, I honestly can’t properly compare their two experiences (and honestly, while Jane had like... two years more experience than him in her life before SBURB, I don’t think that that is enough to discount the potential knowledge that either of them may have acquired after the game’s completion and/or [in Dave’s case] during their time on the meteor). I would also like to point out that it is very, very nice seeing Jane’s perspective on this matter/rivalry, not just Dave+Co’s. I worry that this is showing her to be a bit too egotistical, and, as I suggested in my commentary on a similar portion of the Meat Epilogue, a bit too unwilling to take others’ perspectives into account (which is a key political skill).

Yes. Yes it does, because that may not continue to stay a thing that is true, and the world at large generally needs people who care about such matters. Something something, joke about Obama, something welfare, public needs, et c.

Suddenly, Jane is a Disney Princess, huh? What an interesting thematic twist. That said: I really wish we had some visualization for this so we’d be able to compare Jade’s home as shown in Acts 3-5 and this one, considering their shared (effective) proprietor. Also the home from Hiveswap, I guess.

What are kitten heels? Also: YES!!! I have wanted to see him using a rifle for SO long! :’D (Interesting to see that the coloration is indeed similar to Jade’s home, with the different lightings. Also interesting that she catches him bathed in the light of Dirk’s influence. Reminds of the first time the topic of romance was brought up between him and she regretfully said she was not interested in him that way.) It is very nice to see she is concerned for his safety, though perhaps a little bit... odd, considering their mutual godhood. I guess she is just generally quite flustered. It’s understandable, with the sudden change of plans.

Very nice to see the bot came out of that unharmed!

I love his ridiculously skewed sensibilities.

Hmm. It is very interesting, seeing that kind of understanding being extended, here, considering how characters’ perceptions about each other have been presented generally, here~ Part of me wants to write a great big analysis post about how perception effects things in Homestuck (both for the reader and the characters), and has since the beginning, but I think I lack the grist of the endeavor, presently. Perhaps later... .

It is nice to see that she is still being affected by her earlier passion for detective works, by the way. That was something that seemed far too absent in the limited exposure to her we got in the Meat Epilogue. We didn’t even get to know that it was an argument about locksmithing that brought up the economic debate with Dave. (This is likely because she holds the issue as being important, and thus close to heart, and he was much more concerned with the later material involved in the one-sided affair. [She seemed unprepared for the sudden rant/challenge.])

Wow. Yeah, he is. It must be that same elation that came from being out from under Dirk’s thumb that came up when Alt!Calliope intervened during the Meat Epilogue’s events.

***opens my mouth to object, holds up one finger, and then cannot even manage a single word; eye twitches for a moment, and then I shake my head and sigh***

Yeah, that is indeed quite logical. An excellent deduction on her part. That she took so long to make it might speak poorly to her detective capacities, but I am willing to give her some slack since she is assuredly out of practice. That said!: Man, Jake... you really shouldn’t mix alcohol and firearms. No one should! (Oh, and Dirk’s Classpect expression probably at least partially accounts for their closeness/cooperation. I’m sure Dave probably wouldn’t have left Bro for a long time, if he hadn’t been left by him in the Beta Kids’ session. Well... to be fair, Davesprite being there might have changed things, but this is already getting out of line with the Alpha, so the feathery guy might not even be there in this scenario. Whatever, though~)

Addiction Hope is a powerful thing. I wouldn’t say “at all,” though. Despite him being something of a dork, there certainly is a charm to him.”

“cheap” and Merlot can go together, huh? Oh, wait, that’s the reverse of the reaction I should be having. (Jaaaaneee... this isn’t a good thing to do!)

Sounds about right. :’) (Rude, but that is natural from the same source that made a robot that tore out its heart, crushed it, and then exploded. He does indeed pour a bit of his soul into every bot, after all~)

Yeah... Jake’s right, but Jane’s right too. Realistically, that’s just not something that can be done. Not until next election cycle, at least. The embarrassment factor is a little bit childish, but honestly pretty realistic, considering the way many politicians are. They just wouldn’t be able to admit it, possibly even while so drunk. :y

***raises an eyebrow*** That is indeed very interesting. I don’t think that would necessarily have to do with Hope powers? Honestly... Could it be that Gamzee’s presence is influencing the world in this way? Rage could certainly be expressed in apathy, but... I don’t think so. Perhaps this is just a consequence of the choice John made. All indications suggest that might be the case. I just... want to know the root causes a bit more. Hmm. I like that people are actually noting this shift and contemplating why that is!

I wonder if Dirk’s control over things dramatically influenced her way of thinking. I would not have necessarily thought that she’d have such an apparently poor view of him, otherwise. But... yeah, I think most of the time it should have been~

Sortof, and yet at the same time, it doesn’t seem that way. I blame the fact that Nanna’s life was so different than Jane’s. Thus, Jane pursuing the path that Nanna did seems more odd than it should. This does indeed seem quite sudden and questionable, though. Very “HMm!” inducing.

Honestly, that’s pretty funny. I do like that he brings up the fact that there is some precedent for her desiring children in this lifetime too, at least on some level. The Tiaratop seems to have only partially changed how she thought about things, and left certain baseline features of her personality intact. (Thus her blushing at Dave’s comment about her, when they first saw one another [at least I’m pretty sure that was when it was].)

... I want to read that. I am somewhat surprised that said advice only came while drunk, but I guess that’s a theme, at this point. Not much to be surprised about, here.

... ***is not sure whether to take her statements as just awkward attempts at seduction, or as major evidence of her being manipulated by a malicious and probably somewhat sexist individual with weird fanfic-y impulses***

I can see why that sort of affection could be appealing. Also, as I said: Hope is a powerful thing. Jake’s is like a black hole. It’s sortof ridiculous.

... Yeah, if I actually were someone who drinks, I’d probably be doing about the same, right then. Man, that is an “Ouch,” if I ever have seen one. And now, to go to bed and forget about all this embarrassment, myself.

#Homestuck Epilogue #Homestuck Spoilers #Candy Epilogue #Suspicious #Homestuck Liveblog

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