#I hate that it got out so late but I've been dealing with some life problems recently and it was tough getting the energy to finish this

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Meso's Mixtapes: Handplates Gaster

In honor of the Handplates comic by @zarla-s finally coming to an end, I decided to finally get back to work on my Mixtapes and do one for their interpretation of W.D. Gaster as a sort of thank you. But before I do, I want to talk for a moment about what this comic has meant to me. I was around 12 or so when I first got into Undertale. I was a pretty sheltered kid and wasn't really allowed to play video games, so I watched playthroughs and listened to the ost all from YouTube. And it was through this that I came across the dubbed version of the comic. I was instantly captivated by the acting and the editing, but the thing that pulled me in the most was the emotion behind the storytelling. Even when I was younger, I had no interest in any sort of AUs, but this one not only caught my attention, but held it in a vice. I binged the entirety of what was available of the comic on YouTube twice, and didn't tire of it one bit. But of course, as the years went by and my interest in Undertale faded, I stopped watching. It wasn't until a few months ago while scrolling through Tumblr that I found the comic again and that it was still being updated. So I picked up the comic right from the beginning and read it all. And to my surprise, it was just as incredible as when I read it all those years ago. To this day, Handplates has been the only AU out of really any media that I enjoy, and I'm not even the biggest fan of Undertale anymore. The fact that an AU has captured my attention longer than the base game itself really speaks to how well written this comic is. I would (and have) genuinely suggest it to people who aren't even into Undertale, specifically for how this comic is written. Unfortunately, I was unable to interact with the community due to no access to social media as well as rediscovering the comic so late, but I've fully enjoyed looking through the archives and reading all the asks, extra comics, and posts about it; it really made me feel like a part of the community after all. I don't know what Zarla has planned for the future, but whether it be little one-off Handplates comics, other Undertale stories, or even a bigger project in something else entirely, I will be eagerly tuning in. This comic has meant a lot to me, and I couldn't be more thankful. Now, without further ado, the playlist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Villain by Stella Jang (There are a few different ways you could interpret this song, but for the sake of this mixtape, I see it as the idea of "you can be doing something good, but doing something evil to achieve it still makes you the villain". As the song says, there are many shades of grey; "the person I love the most could be a dog to somebody else" and "the person you hate the most is somebody's beloved child" perfectly explain this. It's the basis of "the ends don't justify the means", which is the exact opposite of the ideology Gaster follows over the course of the comic. Although he does this for the better of monster society, he is still aware of the fact that what he is doing is deplorable; that's part of what makes him such an interesting character to examine.) Rule #27 - Drunk on Pride by Fish in a Birdcage Dying Day by Landlady Dentist! by Alan Menken (I had to include this after Zarla mentioned it in a post a while back, and I gotta say it really does fit in a hilarious way) Wernher Von Braun by Tom Lehrer (I debated on whether or not put this one on the list, but in my opinion the line "'Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down? That's not my department!' says Wernher von Braun" does sound like something he would say; sort of that mentality of "Hey, I did my job. That's not my problem." he showed during scene where the worker was requesting that handrails be added to the CORE. Plus it's Tom Lehrer.) Priest by William Crighton My Friends by Steven Sondheim (The only reason I included this song was because my headcanon voice for Gaster is Len Cariou. Although I will say that my friend also suggested Sam Neill specifically because of the scenes in Jurassic Park where Alan meets Tim and Lex and when he explains how the raptors hunted to that kid at the dig site since they both seem like something he'd do and I stand by that assessment 1000%. Both of those are perfect to me.)

Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo Euthanasia by Will Wood Alles im Griff (auf dem sinkenden schiff) by Udo Jürgens ("Ich hab alles im griff auf dem sinkenden schiff" loosely translates to "I have everything under control on the sinking ship", and the song is basically about all of these bad things happening to the narrator, and the narrator just bottling it all up and saying "This is fine. I'm totally fine." If that doesn't describe Gaster, then I don't know what does.) Zombie by The Cranberries (Considering what the song is about, I felt like it would also stand as a good representation for the hardships and trauma war can leave . And yes, I know that's not the main theme of the comic, but to me at least, that theme was crucial for how some of the characters developed. Not just Gaster, but Toriel and Asgore too.) Everything You Ever by Joss Whedon Total Recall by pragmaticNihilist (Ok, so this one needs a bit of explaining more so than the others. This song is one of the themes for the character Secily Iopara from the game Snowbound Blood, which is technically a sort of prequel/spinoff from the webcomic Vast Error. At least in my opinion, Gaster and Secily share several defining traits: both are easily consumed by work to the point where it takes a toll on their social life as well as their mental health, they push away the people that care about them in order to make things easier for themselves, they both basically devoted their entire meaning to one person [Asgore and Ahlina respectively], and their life's work was their downfall. I just thought it was really interesting how two characters from completely different stories manage to share so much, and how one was able to succeed in fields where the other character failed. Things like this in media have always been something I've enjoyed, so I felt compelled to include it.) Venetian Blind Man by Will Wood Arsonist's Lullabye by Hozier Good Old Days by Weird Al (I'm sorry but I couldn't resist adding this one. It was way too funny to not. I am so, so sorry. This is the last "not really serious one" I swear.) I'm Not Supposed to Care by Gordon Lightfoot (First off, the opening line is already perfect, but I can definitely see this song as the sort of the encompassing theme for the final pages of the comic when they're on the surface. The people who were Gaster's family have no idea who he is or how much they mean to him, yet he's still more than willing to devote himself to them and their happiness, which we see mainly with him and Asgore. My interpretation of Gaster's interactions with them are perfectly summed up by this song: He feels like he shouldn't care as much as he does because they're no longer who he knew, but he can't help it. They no longer love him, but he still loves them and will do whatever he can to make sure they're happy, even at his own expense [both before falling into the CORE and after]. Gaster sums up the basis of his own mentality perfectly: "As long as you will have me, I will stay.")

#I think this is probably my longest mixtape #but it's also one of my favorites #I hate that it got out so late but I've been dealing with some life problems recently and it was tough getting the energy to finish this #but I finally got it together enough to complete my notes on it #this comic was so worth it though #it really is one of my top favorite comics #thanks for everything Zarla #it was a fantastic journey #please go give this comic a read even if you're not a fan of Undertale #it's more than worth it #meso's mixtapes #gaster #handplates #playlist #long post

[youremyheaven]

Saturnian Women: Bad Girls to Trad Girls? 👀😲👩‍🏫

Saturn is the planet of discipline, restriction and rules. Saturn is considered a "strict teacher" who uses discipline, difficulties, delay, duties, dealings, and denials at times to ensure that the student really imbibes their lessons.

There has been much discourse lately on Saturn mahadashas and tbh, I would say to not worry about it too much. Saturn punishes but it also rewards, so if you stay true to its teachings, i.e, keep your head down, do the work and stay firm but humble, Saturn will give you success in proportion to your efforts.

Jennie, Vishaka Moon, finished her 19yr Saturn mahadasha in 2019 and you can clearly see the many themes of Saturn that played out in her life. She spent 5yr living overseas by herself as a child with another family (Saturn deprives you, to some extent, of your family's love and support) and after she moved back to Seoul, she began living at the YG dorm and trained for 5 years and 11 months, which is one of the longest training periods among popular idols today. She has talked about how she's never lived at home or had the experience of living with her family until she was 18-19 and she's always sounded bittersweet about it but all her hard work paid off. Today she's the face of K-pop, one of the most successful idols of all time, an icon and an it girl. She gets torrential amounts of hate over her "attitude" for the supposed partiality that YG had towards her and yes for being "lazy". This is Saturn's harsh energies coming through. Are Jennie's performances lacking from time to time? Yes but is she the only idol whose performances feel meh/"lazy"? No. Is she the only one who gets brutally called out for it? Largely, yes. Saturn does not allow you to get away with your skimping and most definitely does not let you take shortcuts.

The reason most people suffer during this mahadasha is because its human nature to want instant gratification and choose the "easier" option. But yk who does not like that? SATURN. This planet is all about being principled and doing things the "right way". You cannot do something immoral and expect to get away with it during this mahadasha but another thing about Saturn's influence is that it often makes natives deliberately "rebel" or step out of line because they internally crave punishment and want to be disciplined. Think of Saturn like the dom in a BDSM relationship and yourself as the bratty sub who's always asking to be punished. Its kinda like that. I've noticed this with many Saturnians as well as people experiencing Saturn dashas, they have no intention of being "bad" or doing the "wrong things" but they do anyway?? because they want Saturn to discipline them and put them in their place. Often times these natives choose the "harder" path subconsciously by forgoing many chances to choose from other options. They really want to prove themselves "worthy" and "deserving", sometimes to their own detriment.

Karina from Aespa, Punarvasu Moon is also currently undergoing her Saturn mahadasha and so is Wonyoung, Purvabhadrapada Moon (they'll both finish their Saturn mahadashas at around the same ish period of 2031-2032). They're both incredibly successful so if you're experiencing this dasha, dw about Saturn depriving you of success bc its not true. You just have to work hard.

Wonyoung started training at 12yrs of age when she was a few years into her Saturn MD and Karina also started training during her Saturn MD (she was 16 tho). They both spent yearsss training and became massively popular upon their debut (Saturn rewarding hard work) but often got unwarranted hate for absolutely nothing because Saturn "punishes" you to keep you humble in the face of massive success. With Wonyoung, I feel like her Magha Sun (leo rashi) works in her detriment in this dasha because she can be very self indulgent, come across as pompous or bratty or arrogant and Saturn does not like those things 😬with Karina, she received hate initially but things were cleared up and it was understood that those rumours of her being a highschool bully were fabricated along with those fake screenshots and some of her old classmates spoke up about her virtuous character and how kind and sweet she actually was. This is again, Saturn's karma coming thru. Good karma will help you out of tough places in life. Karina has kept her head down and worked hard, people criticized her initially for being a bad dancer but now she's known for her stage presence and x factor.

She's now known for her kind, humble and goofy personality because that is who she really is. Saturn rewards those who remain down to earth and humble and all the love Karina receives now (she is the most followed 4th gen female kpop idol surpassing Wonyoung in less than a year) is part of Saturn's rewards. However, she still faces challenges, like with her dating scandal or with her Chinese boycott last year but again, its her willingness to stay focused and power through that has helped her navigate those situations with grace. She hasn't been dragged the way Jennie or Wonyoung has been. I also think her having Mercury & Venus in UBP (a Saturn ruled nak) has helped her embrace Saturnian principles easier than the other two but she also does have a debilitated Saturn so ://

I think Jennie has had it especially tough because she's Uttarashada Sun and Sun & Saturn are enemies so she's struggled to be as grounded and docile as Saturn wants its natives to be.

If you think about it, there is a reason why all the Kpop it girls have Jupiter ruled Moon and experience Saturn mahadasha at the height of their fame. For starters, the Korean music industry is very "restrictive" in nature and idols are very tightly monitored and controlled (all Saturnian themes) and those who thrive the most in this system are Jupitereans who are undergoing their Saturn MD. They learn to channel the expansiveness of Jupiter through the restrictions of Saturn. Think about how Jennie, Wonyoung and Karina have all been deprived of creative freedom, how their labels pick and choose their endorsements and limit their interactions and in general, despite being young, rich and famous, they live like blue collar workers in some ways?? This is all Saturn's effects. It makes you work hard, rewards you for it but does not let you indulge too much in it.

There is a reason why Jupiter moon is soooo common among popstars. Performing in front of packed stadiums with 50,000 fans is an experience only few get to have in this world and to get that, you have to toil day and night through punishing schedules and constant travel where you dont enjoy yourself materially. This is a very blatant manifestation of Saturn restricting pleasure and enjoyment. (Jupiter ruled Moon natives experience Jupiter dashas first and then its followed by Saturn mahadasha, so usually at their peak, they're undergoing their Saturn MD)

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Now, I want to mention something Claire Nakti mentioned in her Saturn men video, she said that Saturnian men are often extremely rebellious when they're younger and deliberately "act out" because they crave the punishment and discipline that Saturn imposes on them. They subconsciously want to be put in their place. This sounds hella masochistic but I think its helpful to think of it in terms of BDSM dynamics (dont laugh lmao). To an average person, its confusing as to why someone would want to be spanked or tied up or hurt or be in "pain" or be submissive but some people genuinely derive pleasure from being in that position, that's what's fun for them. They "ask for punishment" bc they enjoy being "punished". I dont want to say Saturnian individuals are kinky masochists who deliberately do things that will lead to terrible consequences and harsh punishment but tbh, there is no other explanation for their behaviour. I suggest watching Claire's video where she cites manyyy examples of Saturnian men "acting out".

In Claire Nakti's video about Saturnian women, she mentions how these women are more at ease with following traditions and submitting to them than others because they find it 'freeing' to obey.

But tbh, although women internalise their qualities more in general, I think Saturnian women are just as likely to have an "unruly/rebellious phase" before they embrace the rule abiding nature of Saturn because the truth is limitations are what gives us true freedom. Saturn teaches us that if you have "too much", you can feel confused and lost. it's more important to have "enough".

Hwasa, Pushya Sun

Hwasa is a great example of Saturnian natives and their need to both rebel and conform. Hwasa belongs to the group Mamamoo and although they're all talented, they weren't as successful as other Kpop groups in the mid to late 2010s, esp since they also came from a smaller company. In 2018 at the MAMA awards, she performed in this red latex bodysuit and went instantly viral and her performance became vvv controversial since its practically unheard of for a kpop idol to reveal this much skin or put on a performance that is very sexually provocative. she received a LOT of flak for it, people bodyshamed her, slut shamed her etc but this also brought a lot of attention to her and her group and people started taking more notice of them.

Hwasa was on the cover of Cosmopolitan later that year (you have to be a pretty big deal to land mag covers in Korea esp when you have sooo much competition from sooo many idols/actors etc, Hwasa was up until then just an idol from a smaller company whom others often criticized for not being "pretty enough").

Hwasa continued to "rebel" by posing semi nude, appearing on the cover in what Koreans considered "immodest" clothing etc. But some of the criticism subsided bc as more and more people discovered her music, her talent as a singer and performer stood out so they started praising her for her talent & hard work (Saturn rewarding hard work).

she continued to receive a lot of flak for her outfit choices and Hwasa it seemed was almost hell bent on pissing Koreans off by doing exactly those things that they shunned. She was criticized for this look as her bra is visible through a sheer top and what did she do next?

she went to the airport in a white top and no bra 😂😂needless to say K-netizens were PISSED OFF. but at the same time she started making appearances on variety shows where she gained praise for her humility and lack of pretence. (Saturn punishes but rewards)

this is an excerpt from her 2020 interview with Cosmo (the Cosmo cover above is from her 2019 cover), here we can see Hwasa admitting that "one year ago I was more daring because I felt like I had to be that way no matter what" which reflects on how many Saturnians are rebels without a cause. She then says that "As I go on, I feel like I'm being more strict with myself" showing the progression from the rebellious, unruly phase to one that embraces strictness and discipline. This does not mean becoming a doormat, it means you become more gentle and patient. Its through suffering (which Saturn def brings about) that we learn grace.

I think Hwasa has described it well.

Saturn is considered the most aggressive and cruel in Indian astrology. It symbolizes karma and rewards or punishes based on one's deeds.

Selena Gomez, Pushya Stellium (including Sun & Rising)

When her Revival album came out in 2015, Selena was 23 and trying her best to shed her Disney girl image. So she did what most child star turned popstars do, she posed nude. This was very out of character for a girl who wore a purity ring until she was 18 years old and was generally perceived as the "sweet innocent" one among all Disney stars.

During a roundtable interview in 2022, she said

"I actually did an album cover and I was really ashamed after I did it," Gomez said. "I had to work through those feelings because I realized it was attached to something deeper that was going on. And it was a choice that I wasn't necessarily happy that I made, but I think that I've done my best, at least I try to be myself. And I'm not an overly sexual person, sometimes I like to feel sexy, but that doesn't mean it's for somebody else. It can be for me. Now I understand that there are certain boundaries that I need to set for myself, and I respect and adore so many people, but I’ve got to do what’s best for me."

Obviously the need to "rebel" against her Disney sweetheart image was imbedded in her by the people who work with her, like her management team but Saturn's most powerful tool is regret. You do things without much thought or act out or act rebelliously and through regret or after suffering its consequences, you learn to draw boundaries and impose limitations upon yourself. Just because you can do certain things does not mean you should do them. Saturn teaches us this by limiting freedom.

Miley Cyrus, Anuradha Sun & Mercury

We cannot talk about Disney stars gone wild without mentioning Miley lol

She was the biggest Disney girl of her time and worked vvv hard, doing world tours starting from her early teens and then filming the show, girlie basically never had a minute to spare. Once the show was up, she was in a hurry to shed her Disney image and lets just say... she embodied Saturnian rebelliousness to its extreme.

Miley lost her virginity to Liam when she was 16 and by the time she was 19, she was engaged to get married to the only guy she ever seriously dated. She definitely was embracing "tradition" etc so her "rebel" era was a sharp left turn. She went from being a teen bride to twerking in nude latex on stage. For the next couple of years, Miley smoked weed, embraced a hip-hop sound, wore little clothing and "rebelled". Her rebel era marked the end of her relationship with Liam and interestingly enough, the end of her rebel era was marked by her renewed relationship with Liam.

She entered her soft girl era and started to shed her "rebellious image" and found balance

“I carried some guilt and shame around myself for years because of how much controversy and upset I really caused,” she says. “Now that I’m an adult, I realise how harshly I was judged. I was harshly judged as a child by adults and now, as an adult, I realise that I would never harshly judge a child.”- Miley said in her British Vogue interview

Miranda Kerr, Pushya Rising

If you watch her interviews from the late 2000s and early 2010s, she's super flirty and now she's more mature and ladylike which is kind of a superficial evolution of Saturnian influence.

Miranda is rumoured to have been the world's most expensive yacht girl at one point in time. She accepted $8.1 million worth of jewellery from fraud Malaysian billionaire Jho Low. All these gifts were seized by the government later on bc Saturn does not let you keep things you obtained illegally or in unprincipled ways.

In 2014 during an interview for British GQ (these pics are from the shoot) Miranda said:

"The older I get, the more confident I am about asking for things I enjoy," she said. "One thing I've noticed is now that I'm having less sex my body isn't as toned. The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get. Orlando and I always had great chemistry. One-night stands aren't my thing. I made Orlando wait for six months until I even kissed him… I always ask for a critique on my performance. I always want to better myself in every way."

She also said,

"Let's put it this way, I've had an orgasm in the air before. Alone. And together." 😲😲

This is sooo remarkably TMI for a woman who now presents herself as so poised and ladylike??

After she started dating her now husband Evan Spiegel, CEO of Snapchat, they remained celibate for the 2years they dated prior to marriage and Miranda said they're "very traditional".

Interviews of Miranda now make her sound like one of those femininity coaches on YouTube.

"My grandma taught me that men are visual and you need to make a little effort," the model said in an interview with The Edit. "So when [Evan] comes home, I make sure to have a nice dress on and the candles lit. We make time to have a nice dinner together. At work, I'm like, 'We need to do this!' and, 'This needs to happen!' But at home, I slip into my feminine and empower Evan to be in his masculine."

In another interview, she said:

"Don't feel like you have to do and be everything. Let the man do some things for you, because if he cares for you, he will want to. When I get home, I'm not the boss like I am at work — I slip into a more feminine role. I take everything off and put on my Stella McCartney silk robe. I'll put on a red lip or red nails, and it lifts my mood. Sexy underwear also gives you a spark. I collect underwear from my travels. Lace, lingerie, bodysuits ... they're like souvenirs."

And in yet another interview, she said:

"He would rather me hug him than give him foot massages. He's like, 'Can you just come and cuddle up? Can we just snuggle? I don't need a foot massage.' I'm like, 'Come on, it's good for you!' … He's very loving like that. I'm a very lucky girl."

She went from being a "rebel" to living like a trad wife.

Eva Mendes, Pushya Moon

She's yet another Saturnian who had a rebellious early career ("rebellious" for a woman basically means capitalizing on your sex appeal) and then embraced a more "traditional" life.

In 2020, she said:

"You can’t do sweatpants,” she said on Extra while promoting her makeup line, Circa. “Ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!” 

This is again an example of a "femininity" minded person who thinks women have to "ladylike" (Saturn embracing traditional gender roles).

She took a 10yr break from acting to focus on being a mother and said that if she returns to acting she wont do "violence" or "sexuality" which she did do prior to her marriage and motherhood. She also got married later in life and had this to say:

“When I was 40, it was a big deal for people when I was pregnant, and it wasn’t for me,” Mendes said. “And then I was 42 and I was pregnant with my second one and people were like, ‘Oh my God, you’re going to be so tired. That’s why people have kids in their 20s.’ I was like, that’s the most sorry, asinine thing I’ve ever heard.”

She continued, explaining of parenting, “It takes more patience. In my 20s, I shouldn’t have even been around a child. I was just foul-mouthed and smoking. I could not have raised kids in any other era of my life but now, for sure.”

She's indirectly referring to a more "rebellious" phase of her life and how now she has the patience to be a mom. one thing Saturn teaches you is patience, thats for sureee.

Saturn influence also causes delayed marriage.

Madhuri Dixit, Pushya Moon was 32 years old when she got married (in 90s India this was ancient and not as "normal" as it is now).

Salma Hayek, UBP Moon

there isn't enough dirt on Salma to show that she had some "bad girl" past to move beyond but she struggled for many many years. her life really exemplifies the delayed success of Saturn bc saturn truly rewards patience

Rani Mukerji, UBP Moon

She got married when she was 36yrs old and is married to one of the biggest film producers in India.

The themes of Saturn delaying marriage but ultimately pointing to marrying into wealth has been true in the lives of many of these women, including Salma who is married to a billionaire.

Ellen Pompeo- Anuradha Moon

She was 38 when she got married. Another thing I've noticed with many Saturnian women is how they struggle to conceive or have issues with their fertility (usually caused by the delay in marriage as they're older when they become mothers).

Salma has talked about how she struggled with gestational diabetes when she was pregnant and how she wishes she could have had more children. Rani Mukerji has spoken about her struggles with fertility and how she lost her second baby to a miscarriage, 2/3 of Ellen Pompeo's kids were carried by a surrogate.

Monica Bellucci, Pushya Moon

She was 35 when she married Vincent Cassel and had her daughters in her 40s.

Hillary Swank, Pushya Sun

She was 44 when she married her current husband. (She did get married at 23 and was married for 10yrs , which means they separated after her Saturn return)

Jennifer Lopez, Pushya stellium

She married Ben Affleck when she was 53

She was 35 when she married Marc Anthony with whom she has 2 kids and was married to for a decade. All her other marriages were brief and short lived, pointing to how Saturn makes you get rid of anything that isn't "right" for you

Usually whenever Saturnians get married young, they end up getting a divorce. This is a massive generalization and obvs wont apply to every Saturnian but I've seen this with many people, even Miranda Kerr who married Orlando Bloom in her 20s ended up getting divorced after her Saturn return.

Sophie Turner, UBP Moon

Sophie started dating Joe when she was 19 and married him when she was 21 and he was 28. According to rumours she felt really trapped in the marriage and felt like she hadn't experienced much life. She went from being on a TV show for 10yrs and missing out on normal teen experiences to being a wife and a mom. Many have accused Joe of grooming her as well. They've ended up getting a bitter divorce as well.

Mariah Carey, UBP Sun

She was 23 when she married the CEO of her label who was 20yrs older than her. He had known her since she was a teenager 🤮🤢🤢Mariah has, like Sophie described feeling "trapped" in her marriage and how she had "no freedom". Tommy is famously controlling and kept her under lock and key pretty much. He is now married to Mexican pop star Thalia who was once a huge name in Latin music and is now virtually absent from public life. So his tendency to keep his wives locked up wasn't limited to Mariah, I guess.

Mariah divorced Tommy when she was 29 during her Saturn return as well and he made her life hell for the next few years (do not marry and divorce your CEO kids)

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All throughout this post I made mentions of how Saturnians "rebel" and then "embrace tradition" but what is "traditional" isn't always "right". These two things aren't synonymous. Hwasa went against tradition by dressing sexy. Would that be considered scandalous in say, America? No. She went against the tradition of her culture. But it did not make her actions "wrong".

But sometimes this tendency to obey traditions can manifest in more extreme ways and make someone have very right wing esque or conservative views, even.

JK Rowling, Pushya Sun, Saturn in 1h (in Purva bhadrapada)

Rowling was once a beloved author who was known for her highly inspirational rags to riches journey. She became the first writer to become a billionaire. But now, she's known as a transphobe and many of her former friends and allies have distanced themselves from her. Its crazy bc she almost exclusively tweets about trans people and has made it her life's mission to talk about who is a "real" woman and who isn't (Saturn's desire to conform to traditional gender roles) but her transphobic era seems to be her rebellious Saturn phase where she is seeking punishment. It literally makes no sense as to why out of the blue one day she started to tweet and say these things and why she's sooo insistent on her views but its like she's digging her own grave.

Saturnians often do bizarre things that seem like obviously bad ideas to others and suffer terrible consequences for it because they crave Saturn's harshness. She could've never written another book after Harry Potter, fucked off into oblivion with all her money and farmed strawberries for the rest of her life with her legacy intact but Saturn has stripped her of it. I wont be surprised if in another 10yrs or something, she comes forward to talk about how embarrassed and ashamed she is of whatever she's doing now as this is also a pattern among Saturnians to feel guilt and remorse for their past and apologize for it.

Oprah Winfrey- Anuradha Moon

Oprah hasn't been fully exposed and cancelled yet but I hope she gets what Ellen got because she's such a vile, toxic hateful person.

Oprah has a long history of platforming some incredibly toxic people, leading to a lot of pain and suffering. The relevant one right now is Dr. Oz who used his Oprah-given influence to sell scam miracle cures and other supplements.

Worse (in my opinion) is Dr. Phil, who has used his Oprah-provided stage to send children to “reform schools” in exchange for kickbacks. Many (included the infamous catch me outside girl) have claimed that these institutions are hot beds of physical and sexual abuse. There are also allegations that Dr. Phil actively aims to make guests on his show appear less well adjusted so that he can yell at them. Famously, a winner of the show survivor who was struggling with alcoholism claimed that Dr. Phil’s staff gave him a bottle of vodka to drink before the show so that he would be drunk and look like shit to justify Dr. Phil berating him.

Oprah also dedicated two shows to a man known as John of God, heavily implying that he may actually be able to heal sickness through faith in God. He was, obviously, a grifter who would perform dangerous surgical procedures (and would cut people’s eyes with sharp objects) on people without a license. He was also a serial rapist, and several women have claimed they traveled across the world to meet John of God due to Oprah’s show only to be raped.

This example is more fitting of the traits I explored in part 1 of my Saturn dominance post where I talked about how many Saturnians seem to be scammers and liars.

Grimes, UBP Sun

for an edgy alternative indie artist, Grimes has surprisngly trad views

In one interview, she said:

"I kind of like the patriarchy, I like the supply chain, food, Uber, roads... umm, civilization, you know there's a lot of good things that came from it. I think it's sort of oppressive and overly dominant, and if you don't include women in things they can easily become toxic, you know."

she was married to elon musk so im not too surprised that her worldviews are...weird... (she likes the patriarchy bc it gave her uber,,, gotcha...lol)

Sometimes honestly, esp in today's world where everybody has more social freedom esp in America and can do whatever they want, a lot of people "rebel" by embracing tradition. Grimes is actually deploying Saturn's need to rebel against the order by peddling her faux trad views.

The current tradfem movement (that I predicted 2 years ago😌) is a reflection of how each generation rebels differently. You give someone a lot of freedom and they do whatever they want with it but soon enough fatigue sets in and you desperately crave structure and order, so you discipline yourself and restrict yourself. in an era where dating has become so toxic and loveless, a section of society embraces a 1950s type tradwife lifestyle to go against the norm.

there will be a part 3 that expands on Saturn's manifestations further but this is it for this post<333 tysm for reading<33

#saturn #uttarabhadrapada #anuradha #pushya #vedic astro notes #astrology notes #sidereal astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #astroblr #astrology #vedic astrology #nakshatras #astro observations

[emeraldkays]

hi! if you have the time or feel up to it, can you do headcanons for Loki when he has a crush on the reader? thank you! your work is great!

hiya !! of course i can ☺️ and thank you soo much, that means a lot to me :) (also sorry for responding late x)

𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮

it took loki a while to realise that he had a crush on you.

he had trouble accepting it and distanced himself from you, which you didn't mind because you knew what he was like and just assumed he wanted some time alone.

but it only lasted for a few weeks.

when he returned you noticed a few things that seemed off about him.

while he was still relaxed, you could tell that he seemed a little on edge at times, like he was afraid of something happening.

he took an interest in your hobbies that he had previously told you he hated, and when you confronted him about it he'd get all flustered and say he'd like to try them out again.

and his smiles seemed genuine, which wasn't a bad thing, but it definitely wasn't a loki thing either.

but you weren't complaining. you actually began to enjoy his company more than you had before.

he'd go above and beyond to make you laugh when you were feeling down and was always there when you needed someone to talk to.

he made you feel like you were the most important person in his life most of the time.

if it wasn't for the fact that he hated midgardians so much, you would have thought he had a (tiny) crush on you.

he bought and made you gifts often which you felt bad about.

you saw how hurt he looked when you told him that you didn't want his gifts.

"they're lovely and I'm more than grateful, but i've already got the only gift i want, and that's having a friend like you."

he thought you were lying at first, but when you hugged him, the warmth that wrapped around him felt too real to be a lie.

the time he had spent making you gifts were now spent with you, getting to know you better and allowing himself to open up to you.

he never planned on telling you that he had a crush on you because he'd rather have you as a friend than to deal with heartache on top of everything else.

however, he did accidentally end up admitting it to thor during a drunken conversation between the two, but thor swore he wouldn't tell anyone, and he didn't...for a week or so.

thor in a drunken state again at one of tony's parties told you how much you meant to loki and threatened to hurt you if you hurt him.

as much as you thought thor was just drunkenly rambling, his threat certainly did not sound empty and the way he had been acting suddenly made sense.

you went to go and find loki right after and told him what thor had told you moments ago.

you weren't quite sure how you were expecting him to react, but tear-filled eyes was not on the radar.

"why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want things to be awkward between us," he mumbled looking down at his feet to hide his face.

you playfully rolled your eyes at his excuse, "they wouldn't have been,"

"and how could you possibly know that?"

"because I like you too."

he looked up at you in disbelief, unable to control the tear rolled down his face, because for the first time in a long time (or ever), he might have finally got exactly what he wanted.

#loki #lokixreader #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #loki odinson #loki friggason #marvel #loki imagine #loki of asgard #loki of jotunheim #laufeyson #loki x y/n #loki x yn #loki x f!reader #loki x female reader #headcanon #loki fanfic #loki x you #loki marvel #loki headcanons #loki hc #mcu #loki x reader #loki fluff #tom hiddleston

[mrs-kodzuken]

K.K.T.K on my wrist ♡

Pairing: Kōtarō Bokuto x Keiji Akaashi x fem!reader x Tetsurō Kuroo x Kenma Kozume

WC: 1.9k

Genre: soulmate au, fluff, slice of life

CW: fem!reader, four soulmates, poly relationship, fluff, very soft and sweet

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

When I was a little girl, I thought about how a prince would show up outside my bedroom window. He'd take me away to his castle and marry me, treating me with kindness.

Then we'd live happily ever after, just like in the movies.

However, the hardships that came with being a princess made me think that I could handle them. As it turns out, that's not how life is at all.

Not at all.

Plenty of hardships are thrown at you left and right. and it's all about how well you deal with it.

As I got older, my fantasies became more realistic. I wanted to live a small, easy life with the person I so dearly loved.

A small child or kitten running around, giving us entertainment.

Living out our lives to the fullest and being content with simplicity. We didn't need anything more or anything less.

That's how I've always imagined it.

As it turns out, life does throw things at you, but this one was one of the best hardships I'll ever came to love.

And it all begins at the young age of sixteen. A fresh high school student, worried about what people thought about them.

Their hair, clothes, grades, and sometimes even a boyfriend or girlfriend.

However, most of those thoughts got quickly brushed away. On a person's sixteenth birthday, initials will appear on their dominant wrist.

The absolute heart racing feeling full of wonder of who your special significance other could be.

Maybe it was someone who lives halfway across the world. Maybe someone who goes to the same school as you. Maybe someone you grew up with.

Or maybe someone you just happen to know from the internet.

Whatever it may be, they will be bound to meet. Some people say it's fate. Some say even destiny.

However, I just thought it was a clear misconception for me.

I had my dreams significantly crushed by four initials on my wrist. Oh, how I used to despise them—the hate that fueled through me when I looked at my wrist.

Looking back, it was harsh and childish. Life is unexpected; things happen. However, this one was one that's stuck in my favorites, even if it was the opposite of everything I always wanted.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

The bedroom window was open a bit as the rain fell from the sky. Small devices lit up here and there around the room.

It was an easy night for all of us. Even Kōtarō was quiet, which sparked an interest in me. I was keeping myself busy by reading a book I had been wanting to catch up on.

While also laying on Keiji, who had been next to me reading some other kind of book.

Our beloved Kenma was in the next room over, streaming. The door was slightly ajar, leaving space for the blue rays of light to show on the wall.

I could hear small splashes of water coming from the bathroom. A small, unnoticeable smile gracing my strawberry-colored lips.

No matter how many times I knew water calmed that beautiful boy down, I couldn't get over it.

I had run the bath myself, even adding a few bathroom toys and bubbles, despite it being the late hours of the night. And despite that he was a grown man, we don't in this house.

If I had listened hard enough, I could hear Tetsu downstairs. The soft noise of most likely midnight snacks being made.

It seemed as if we were all content in the house we called home. A shiver ran down my back as I felt the soft breeze come from the window.

The skies were pitch black; if it were a normal night, I'd be on the roof with Tetsu and Keiji. We'd point out the constellations and watch the stars.

It was one of my favorite things to do with them.

If it were later in the afternoon and the sun was slightly straying from the clouds and the rain was soft, Kōtarō would be dancing in the rain with me.

We'd sing our hearts out, then get scolded by our lovely boyfriend, Keiji, who quite possibly seemed like the only sane one in the house.

Besides Kenma half of the time.

The days that it was sunny, and I wished silently that it would rain. Kenma would softly take my hand and lead me to the kitchen.

Even though we both shared the hatred of sunny days, we'd bake something.

Whether it be healthy or not, burnt or just right, muffins or cupcakes. So, our house constantly smells like a bakery. When we wouldn't feel up to baking, a movie was our next best thing.

On hard days when I felt like I really needed something to just get my mind off for a little while, Kuroo was my go-to person.

We'd run to the park and back, putting the stress into exercising. Sometimes, just sitting down with him on a park bench and watching everyone pass by was enough.

However, Keiji was by far the one who comforted me in a strange but loving way. He's the only one I'd talk to. I'd spill all my thoughts to, read a book with, cry to, and observe with.

Being very compatible with each and every one of them made life exciting and, oddly, calming.

"Are you cold? We can shut the window if you'd like." Keiji turned his head toward me, pausing his reading.

"I'll put on a hoodie," I said, shaking my head and loving the smell of rain. However, he knew that that would be my answer.

I'd always wrap up in multiple clothing layers instead of shutting the window.

It was a habit.

I crawled away from him as I watched Keiji place my bookmark in the place I was reading.

Slipping on my pink slippers, I walked out of the room, heading towards the clothing room.

Who knew that living with four other people would bless you with an enormously large house? However, the income we all made could quite possibly also be a reason.

As I walked past Kenma's gaming room, I peered in. My eyes were watching him a bit, I could tell even from when he was turned around that his eyes were glued to the screen.

Knowing Kenma, I knew he wasn't wearing his glasses that protected his eyes. He needed them now more than ever, since it's the late hours of the night.

Backing out, I quickly but quietly moved downstairs. His glasses were on the living room coffee table, if I remembered correctly.

When I was on the first floor, I moved to the living room, where his glasses were. Picking them up, I felt the coldness from how long they've been left alone.

The kitchen light on, curiosity peering through me. I peeked in at the sight of Tetsu sitting on the counter, scrolling on his phone.

He was most likely trying to figure out what we'd be feeling up for to eat after rummaging through our cabinets. God, he could be doing nothing and still look so handsome.

I smiled a little and headed back upstairs. Opening Kenma's door more, I could hear soft grunting from him.

Probably because of a level he was having trouble with.

Setting the glasses close to his keyboard, I leaned down and gave him a soft kiss on the temple. He nodded, his cheekbones glowing with a rouge pink shade.

That small peck meant, 'Please don't forget to wear them.' I could always express myself with small things without actually saying them to Kenma and Keiji.

Usually, I'd have to express my thoughts in a verbal way when it came down to Kō and Tetsu. However, I knew not everyone would be an introvert or just a mind reader.

When I left the room, leaving it cracked like before, I saw his game pause and him slip on the clear glasses.

I made my way back to the room, forgetting about the hoodie I needed to get. When I entered, I saw Kōtarō curled up against Keiji.

His hair was slightly dripping wet, making me cringe a bit.

I spotted his towel, which he had brought back with him instead of hanging up in the bathroom. I softly grabbed it and made my way to him.

He perked up; his yellow eyes seemed to shine a bit brighter in the dark.

"The water will make the bed wet, hon" I softly said, lightly ruffling his hair with the towel.

His arms wrapped around my waist as I continued to get the water out. Wetness and comfortable covers do not mix in my book or even on my book.

I could hear him sigh happily as I played with his hair, trying to get out all the water.

Glancing over to Keiji, his glasses were off, and our books had been set elsewhere. It's movie time.

Kenma would come from his gaming in around fifteen to twenty minutes from now. We'd all cuddle on the bed and watch a cartoon movie.

I walked to the bathroom, setting Kōtarō's towel on his hook. In a house of five people, organization was the best key.

After I cut the lights off, I walked back to see a movie picked up and Kuroo coming upstairs with our midnight snacks.

When I made sure everyone was comfortable in bed, I went to get Kenma. I could basically feel the exhaustion radiating off him. Knowing that he wouldn't get off the game unless someone actually got him.

As I got closer, I gently put my arms around his back. I did it every single time I wanted him to get off the game. I could tell he was fighting himself, wanting to go another round but agreeing.

Soon his system was off and his left hand locked in my right one, walking into our bedroom. We climbed into bed; the rotation was different this weekend.

Each day or week, we'd switch the rotation of who gets to spoon who. It wasn't my idea since I couldn't care less if I was spooning or getting spooned.

However, being the only girl it was kinda nice with everyone being bigger than me, it was kind of hot some nights too.

This time around, Tetsu was spooning me, and I happened to be spooning Kōtarō. After we finished the snacks, I couldn't resist the sleep, which called my name.

Since there were five of us, we couldn't possibly fit in a bed. So we decided to just get one of the biggest; even if we did spoon, I'm sure at least one of us would end up kicking another off the bed.

This has always been how our stay-up nights have been and I wouldn't change it for the world.

When I was a little girl, I thought about how a prince would show up outside my bedroom window. He'd take me away to his castle and marry me.

Well, now that I'm older, it's safe to say that I've got four princes who I was fated with. They agreed to live together with me, and the need to marry wasn't in our minds.

We all knew the reassurance of each other never leaving the other. But if one of us did happen to want to marry? I guess we could.

But this is the end of our weekend night and there was nothing out there that would make me give it up.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader One Shots” on Wattpad. I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any requests!

the header is made by me, please like/reblog if used <3

#bokuakakuroken #bokuakakuroken x reader #bokuto koutarou #akaashi keiji #kuroo tetsurou #kenma kozume #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #kuroo x reader #kenma x fem reader #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #kenma fluff #kenma x reader #akaashi fluff #akaashi x you #akaashi x y/n #akaashi x bokuto #hq soulmate au #haikyuu soulmate au

[mytheoristavenue]

SE Dr. Franken Stein x Teacher!Reader - Good Medicine

Summary: While Stein looks over your lesson plans for the neck week, you let it slip that you've been ill.

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, mentions of madness/illness/ symptoms of serious illness, fem!reader, mentions of addiction/substance abuse, platonic!nygus x stein, platonic!nygus x reader, not proofread

You sighed before gathering another deep breath as you made your way through the halls of the academy shortly after the final bell. The school was mostly desolate, save for the staff and the few remaining students who had to stay late for whatever reason. You waved to a few of them on your way, hands trembling nervously as you clutched the file in your hands.

Finally, you stopped at his door, the entrance to the EAT classroom. Hesiently, you knocked, before quickly stepping backward to put distance between yourself and him when he opened the door. Just as predicted, you could hear shuffling within the room, an aggravated groan, and desk chair wheels rolling. Then the door unlocked and cracked open, revealing a terrifyingly tall figure, shrouded in darkness, glass lenses gleaming and obscuring his eyes. "Miss (Y/N), can I help you?"

You swallowed hard, stepping forward and nodding. "I-I was wondering if you could look over my lesson plans for this next week? I've not been well and Lord Death asked me to have someone-"

"Have you tried asking Sid?" he interrupted in a monotone.

You blushed, feeling embarrassed and silly for thinking he'd be willing to help you. "W-Well, Sid's gone for the day, he left early today. Besides-"

"I see," the man acknowledged, bringing up a hand to straighten his glasses. "Spirit then?" he suggested, cocking a brow. "I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help a lady in need."

You began to feel defeated, you were a people pleaser at heart and hated bothering people. "Um," you said, shrinking under his gaze. "He's in an important meeting with Lord Death this evening." Stein's posture seemed to shift as he slowly began to realize he couldn't pawn you off on someone else. "Also, Lord Death asked that I go to you specifically..."

He seemed to mull the idea over for a moment before answering. "Is that so?" You nodded timidly. "So Lord Death instructed you to come to me for help and you directly disobeyed him by looking into every other option beforehand?"

Your eyes blew wide and you struggled to form a response. "N-No! Of course not, I just didn't want to bother you! I know how busy you-"

"Relax," he finally said, chuckling and opening the door further. As he did so, the glare on his frames dissipated to reveal kind and playful eyes. "I'm just playing with you. I'd love to help, for a price, that is."

"W-What is it?" you asked, nerves shot to hell.

"Can you go get me some coffee from the teacher's lounge, please?" Your shoulders fell in defeat as you nodded, beginning to walk away. "Oh," he called before you could get out of earshot. "Bring the syrup bottle, I like mine sweet."

-----

Brows furrowed in annoyance, you rounded the corner into the lounge and set the file down on the counter. You hated dealing with Stein, all he did was play mind games and make your life difficult- not to mention how scary he was. Sighing, you got a tray down from the top shelf, and then a pair of mugs, figuring you might as well get yourself some while you're here. Carefully, you poured muddy water into both cups, dressing yours the way you liked. Absent-mindedly, you began to fiz Stein's mug the same way, pouring simple syrup into it. It wasn't until you began stirring caramel cream into it that you realized. "Shit!" you hissed, realizing your mistake. Quickly, you took out another mug from the cupboard, and grabbed the carafe, only to find it nearly empty. Now you had no choice but to bring him an incorrect cup of coffee and pray to Death he still helps you.

You gripped the handles of the tray nervously, seeking some kind of support from them. Blonde coffee swished in each cup, and the syrup bottle treated to tip, but you eventually made it back all in one piece. "I'm back," you called into the dark room from the ajar door. "Can I come in?"

"The door's open, isn't it?" Stein's monotone voice replied from deep within. Stepping in, you found him at his desk, a single tabletop lamp illuminating his workspace. He seemed deep in thought as his red pen scrawled hastily across pages, shuffled one after another. In response you let yourself in, slowly inching toward him, before eventually deeming yourself close enough and standing at his side awkwardly. "Are gonna set that down or just stand there?" he asked, not bothering to even give you a side glance.

"Sorry," you muttered, shuffling in place. "I just wasn't sure where you'd like it." He pointed to a spot on his desk, equally cluttered but mostly flat with his pen. You obeyed and set the tray down, before taking his cup and setting it in front of him, as well as the syrup bottle. You tensed a bit when you noticed the sticky bottom of the bottle had adhered to what seemed to be a page of homework. He never seemed to notice, though. "Um, before you drink that," you interrupted, just as he lifted the cup to his lips. "I...zoned out a bit and started pouring the syrup in, so it may not be exactly how you prefer it."

Stein sighed, rolling his eyes. "Leave it to you to make pouring a cup of coffee harder than it should be." At that, he took a sip, pausing for a moment afterward. "Is there caramel in his?" he asked sternly, finally looking up at you.

You shook in your spot. "Y-Yes? I'm sorry-"

"It's really good." he smiled, taking another sip. "I guess I'll have to have you make all my coffee from now on." Your muscles fell lax with relief and you stepped closer. "Now then, pull up a chair, and let's have a look." You did as he instructed, dragging a nearby stool to his desk. You felt like you were a student again, having to stay behind with the teacher to review why you hadn't passed a test.

Once in a good position, you handed over the file which you'd carried under your arm. Stein took it and slayed it out on the desk as you looked over his shoulder. "What's the subject?"

"Soul bonds and forces that affect them." you responded astutely. Now he understood why he was the one Lord Death had you ask.

"I taught this last year to a pair of my students," he recalled. "Though, the results weren't very pretty. What's your goal in teaching this?" he wondered.

"To educate my kids on how to nourish their connection and help them understand the consequences of not doing so." you replied, gaining some sort of confidence in showing him that you knew what you were talking about.

"And what are those consequences?" he asked, lazily flipping through the loose pages inside the file.

"Potentially irreparable damage to the partners' bond, bodily injury, mental strain, inability to fulfill their duties, and in extreme cases where students cannot be reassigned to new partners, expulsion."

"And how can a bond be nourished or restored?"

"Trusting in one another, appreciating your partner internally and externally, and understanding of how a healthy dynamic should look between partners." You answered as he followed along with your written word. It was as if you'd memorized the words on the page.

"Well," he concluded. "You seem very knowledgeable on the topic, your notes look great," he paused to pack the papers back into the file and handed it back to you. "As long as you tell what you just told me to your students, I have no doubt they'll be well informed."

Finally, you beamed at his analysis, happy to have his approval. Pressing the file to your chest, you went to stand, only to have him point his palm to you- a signal to stop. "Just a moment," he said, taking out a legal pad and his red pen. "Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to talk to you about something if you've got time."

You froze, a tad stunned as you fully sat back down. "Sure, I'm not in any rush," you accepted, tilting your head curiously. "Have I done something wrong?"

"Wrong isn't the right word for it," he reassured. "More like odd." Stein quickly jotted down the date, time, and your name before continuing. "You said you hadn't been well, and that Lord Death had noticed and sent you to me to double check your lesson plans. Let's talk about that."

You couldn't help but notice how his voice had changed. It wasn't quite as monotone now, and paired with his kind and genuine smile, you couldn't keep the butterflies out of your chest. He was being so gentle all of a sudden and you didn't understand what changed. "Which part?" you asked.

"Tell me about how you've been feeling, (Y/N)." he instructed. "With everything that's taken place, I don't blame you for not feeling like yourself."

You instantly knew what he was referring to. The Kishin Awakening. The battle with Medusa and Crona beneath the school. The ruined celebration of the academy. It was all fresh and heavy on your mind still. "I suppose..." you began vaguely. "Everything that's happened has stressed me out a bit."

"What happened wasn't your fault, you do know that, don't you?" he soothed, adjusting the frames on his nose. "Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome of that fight."

"I know that," you admitted, twiddling your thumbs. "I guess I just wish there was something more I could have done. I mean, our kids were down there risking their lives- getting hurt, getting traumatized, and where was I? Stuck up here with everyone else, helpless."

Stein offered a gentle smile. "You're too hard on yourself." he laughed, removing his glasses and wiping the lenses on the tail of his coat. You were able to catch a glimpse of his eyes, swampy and genuine. They put you at ease. "Besides, you helped keep everyone calm, that's not nothing."

"Maybe you're right..." you relented, pinching the bridge of your nose and shaking your head. "I've just been having these terrible nightmares where things end differently."

"Nightmares?" He perked up, suddenly vastly more interested in what you had to say than before. "Tell me about that."

His change in attention span didn't go above your head, but you chose to ignore it for now. "I'll have dreams that the students you had with you die or become gravely injured, or that those witches managed to get into the school and hurt the people I was with."

"And have you experienced any other odd symptoms? Headaches, hallucinations, insomnia?" he asked, quickly scrawling your answers on the note pad.

"All of those, yeah," you confirmed, nodding and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "And nosebleeds."

Suddenly, Stein froze entirely. "Have these gotten worse since the Kishin awoke?" you hummed in response, giving even more basis to his hunch. "And have you had these in the past?"

"Well, I've had chronic migraines since I was a kid," you replied, unsure where he was going with this.

"Have you ever been medicated for it?" he asked, eyeing you as if waiting for you to confirm his suspicions.

"Many times," you answered, and he seemed to relax at this. "Nothing ever helped, though. Except for some herbal tea Medusa prescribed me a while back."

Stein tensed again, jotting down the new information before continuing. "And the symptoms subsided during that treatment?" You nodded and he pressed on. "And how much would you say they've worsened since you stopped taking the herbals?" You remained silent, guilt creeping up your back as you lowered your head. "(Y/N)?" Stein leaned in, concerned about your sudden shift in willingness to talk. He repeated the question, hoping you just hadn't heard, but your continued stillness told him everything he needed to know. "You're still taking them?!"

The sudden raising of his voice startled you, as well as the slamming of his fists on the desk. "Are you stupid? Don't you realize she's been poisoning you?"

"I'm sorry! It's the only thing that helps!" you cried abruptly. "I stopped for a few days but it just got so bad I couldn't resist! Now I have to take them even more often to get them to work!"

Stein composed himself, taking in and releasing a deep breath before reaching out and grabbing you by the shoulders. "That's enough, (Y/N), you need to listen to me," he began, pausing to make sure you were. "You have to stop taking those herbals, that's not medicine, it's a curse." Your eyes searched his for an indication that he was joking but came up short. "She has you addicted to this remedy, but all it does is make the problem worse, that way when you need a higher dosage, you'll have no choice but to go to her for more. Then she'll use you against us." Something in his voice revealed itself. Maybe it was worry, maybe frustration. Either way, it made your stomach churn.

"I'm about to tell you something you won't want to hear," he warned, sighing before looking back up to you again, mossy eyes boring into your (e/c) ones. "You've most likely got a parasite inside you, and it's possible she's been using it to gather information on the academy. Now that she's no longer a member of staff, you're much more important to her than you might realize."

There was nothing you could do to hold back the tears that began to stream down your cheeks. It was so ironic that the thought of bringing harm to the school had driven you mad, but in an effort to stop the madness from taking over, you put everyone in danger. "Oh my God," you sobbed, not even noticing when Stain pulled you into his chest.

"Shhh," he hushed. "Don't cry, it's gonna be okay," he reassured, rubbing your back as you cried. "Now that we know what's wrong, we can fix this."

"I'm such an idiot!" you sniveled. "I can't believe I fell for her lies!"

"You're not an idiot, you were deceived. We all were." he soothed, pushing you away and holding your shoulders at arm's length. "You made a mistake and that's okay." He withdrew himself from you, giving you a moment to compose yourself, and turned back to the desk. He then opened a drawer and pulled out a smaller pad before scribbling on it before tearing off the top page and handing it to you.

"I'm prescribing you something for the headaches and something for the parasite. When you stop taking the herbals, the hallucinations, nosebleeds, and nightmares should go away on their own."

"I didn't even know you could write prescriptions..." was all you managed to get out, still stunned at the revelation and his overall coolness about it. He simply gave you a kind smile.

"I am a doctor, after all." he chuckled, putting the two pads back into the desk drawer. "If you give me a second, I'll walk with you to the infirmary to have Nygus fill these."

-----

You'd been nearly silent since Stein's diagnosis, and now that you were walking through the halls beside him, you couldn't bring yourself to speak. He chatted away, nonchalant as ever, and you'd usually be delighted to see this rare side of him, but you couldn't get out of your head.

Finally, you both ended up at the infirmary, him walking in ahead of you. "Evening, ma'am," he greeted the woman behind the counter, grabbing her attention.

"Oh," she said, turning around and smiling softly behind her bandages. "Hello, you two. A bit late to be at work, huh?"

"I could say the same for you," Stein laughed, leaning on the counter. "If Sid left early, I assumed you'd be with him." Nygus rolled her eyes and sighed with a lighthearted chuckle.

"Not this time, I needed some time to reorganize my office." Her sky eyes suddenly flicked up to you, then back to your companion. "So, what can I help you with?"

Stein looked back at you and tilted his head towards her, prompting you to hand over the slip he'd made you. "We just need some prescriptions filled, if you're not too busy."

"Not at all!" she chirped with a grin, taking the slip from you. "Let's see here..." Suddenly, the contour of her wrappings fell flat and the sparkle in her eyes disappeared as she looked back at the man with a questioning look.

"I know you can keep a secret, Nygus. I appreciate that about you." He smiled, aware that she'd caught his meaning.

"Well, if you've got worms, that's none of my business, now is it?" She finally said, spinning on her heels and walking deeper into her office, dreads bouncing as she went. Something about her reaction melted your heart, knowing that she knew even a fraction of the truth- the worst fraction, and she wasn't upset with you.

Within a few minutes, she'd returned, a small white paper bag in hand. She gave you a reassuring smile as she handed it over. "For the headaches, take one as needed and no more than four in a day. For the other one, take one with breakfast and one with supper every day for two weeks."

After a tad more conversation, you both thanked her and exited the infirmary. "Start those both tomorrow and keep me updated on how they work for you, if need be, we can always adjust your dosage," Stein said, turning to head back to his classroom. "Have a good night, (Y/N)."

As he walked away from you, the question that had been burning in your mind bubbled back up to the surface again and you blurted out his name. "Stein! Wait," He halted, glancing at you curiously over his shoulder as you ran to catch up to him.

"Was there something else you needed?" he asked as you stopped beside him.

"I wanted to know..." you began, fidgeting timidly with your fingers. "Why are you being so kind to me?"

He laughed heartily, which embarrassed you a tad. "I can 't recall a time where unkind to me, why wouldn't I?"

You blushed a bit, shuffling in place. "W-Well.. you're-"

"Big and scary?" he chuckled lightly.

"Um, yeah..."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, perhaps one day I can change your mind." he mused, turning to leave again.

"U-Um, Stein?" you called out again, and once again, he indulged you with a quizzical look. "I'd like to get to know you better," you confessed. "I know you're not like I thought you were, and I'm sorry I made assumptions about you."

"Well, that's kind of you to admit," he accepted, beaming.

"I was wondering..." you trailed nervously. "Since you're going to be keeping up with the results of my treatment...we should probably..." try as you might, you couldn't will the words from your throat.

"Miss (Y/N), you're going to have to come out and ask me if you want me to say yes." he finally said, hinting at knowing what you wanted.

"W-Would you like to get coffee with me tomorrow?"

"I'd love to."

Thank you for reading, if you'd kindly like and reblog, I'd greatly appreciate it!

#soul eater #franken stein #franken stein x reader #stein x reader #stein x teacher!reader #soul eater stein #mira nygus #soul eater nygus #nygus x reader #dr. franken sten

[justabigassnerd]

I've Got You

Pairing - Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell x daughter!reader

Word count - 2,751

Warnings - self-harm, bullying, cancer mentions, angst, Goose mentions, mentions of death

Summary - at a low point in your life, your dad is there to help you through it

A/N - hey y'all sorry it's been a while since the last fic I've just been busy. this was an anon request and I hope I did it justice. I did do some research and I tried my best to approach this subject in a way that would be acceptable and I'm so sorry if it's not bc it was not my intention at all. as per y'all, please send requests, feedback and enjoy

Growing up, you were an outgoing and confident person. You’d be the first person to extend a hand to make new friends at school and try to make sure people were happy. Parents of your fellow pupils, when you were in preschool, had gushed to your dad about how confident and comfortable you were as a young girl when they noticed you give your dad a quick hug and disappear into the classroom while every other child clung to their parents, begging to stay with them.

However, in your final year of high school, people began to change.

Over time, girls in your grade at high school began to turn on you, listening to the whispered words of the queen bee and her gaggle of followers and you became isolated. You tried everything and anything to get someone, anyone to talk to you but everyone turned away from you. You refused to let anyone see that they were getting to you. You were a Mitchell. Mitchells are tough and you knew your dad wouldn’t want you getting upset over something so trivial. You tried to remain tough, but your defences came crumbling down when you reached the security of your bedroom. Your only friend was Bradley, but he was a year older than you, at college, and incredibly pissed off at your dad so it was near impossible to communicate with him. You were sure he hated you too for your dad pulling his papers and you couldn’t blame him. He had every right to be mad.

As the noises and voices in your head grew louder, you started searching for ways to quiet them down, even for just a moment. You tried and failed multiple different ways to keep yourself calm and level. You couldn’t talk to your dad, he was in the middle of dealing with your Uncle Ice’s cancer scare, both men waiting with bated breath for the test results to come back. So, with all his focus on Iceman, you faded into the background, the noise in your head almost unbearable at this point.

One evening, after your shower you caught a glimpse of your razor sitting snuggly inside your shower caddy, gleaming against the bright light of the bathroom as you stared at it. You tried distracting yourself, splashing your face with cold water before changing into your pyjamas but the object continued to call out to you making you squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to banish the thoughts from your head until they became too much.

Over the coming days, the bathroom and your razor became your escape, the only way for you to temporarily forget what you had been through during the day. Maverick had noticed that you’d been pulling away slightly and had asked if everything was okay, but you were quick to tell him that you were just busy with school work and didn’t really have time to hang out with people while you prepped for your exams. That weekend, Iceman had invited you and your dad around for a barbecue in his garden since it was almost summer, and the San Diego weather was exceptionally gorgeous.

“Have you noticed that y/n wears a lot of hoodies lately?” The hoarse voice of Iceman cuts through to Maverick who had been staring intently at his beer bottle. Maverick winced at his wingman’s voice, sore from the constant coughing fits that attacked the pilot. Maverick glanced across the garden to where you were sat with Iceman’s wife Sarah and a friend of hers, remaining silent as the two women chatted. He then briefly glanced up at the sky, unsurprised to see no clouds in the sky which made him realise how out of place you looked sat next to Sarah and her friend in an oversized hoodie while the two women were in sundresses.

“I also feel like I haven’t seen her much recently either.” Maverick thinks aloud, glancing over at Iceman who sips on a glass of water.

“You should talk to her, Mav. Maybe she needs her dad and just doesn’t know it yet.” Iceman says as he and Maverick watch you carefully, both men realising your smile seemed forced and didn’t meet your eyes in the same way it used to. You used to love spending time at the Kazansky household, usually sticking with Iceman and chatting with him while simultaneously teasing your dad. Iceman figured you chose to sit with Sarah because he’d figure out something wasn’t right too quickly. He was good at reading people, and it was something he had relied on a lot in his lifetime. In taking a step back and just observing, Maverick was able to pinpoint behaviours he’d never seen from you before and could feel the worry tightening his chest with each passing second.

“Mav. Breathe. It’ll be okay. Just, make her feel safe and loved like I know you do.” Iceman urges gently, resting a friendly hand on Maverick’s shoulder and squeezing it softly, fighting the hoarseness of his voice to comfort his wingman. Maverick nods lightly, putting his beer bottle down before crossing over to where you were sitting.

“Come on squirt, let’s head home. We’ve bothered these fine people enough.” Maverick says, throwing a teasing wink in Sarah’s direction who laughs and rolls her eyes.

“You mean you’ve bothered Tom too much. y/n has been an angel like usual.” Sarah says as you get up bidding the two women goodbye with a soft voice and a small smile before crossing the garden to Iceman and hugging him quickly.

“Bye Uncle Ice.” You whisper, pulling away almost as quick as you initiated the hug, barely giving him time to reciprocate.

“Goodbye, y/n/n.” Iceman says, a small smile on his face yet it couldn’t hide the sadness in his eyes at how fast you pulled away from the embrace. Maverick muttered a goodbye to Iceman, giving him a hug and clap on the back before exiting the Kazansky household. You climb onto the back of your dad’s motorbike and wrap your arms around his waist loosely.

“Hey, tight grip kid I can’t risk you falling off.” Maverick says, taking your wrist softly to pull your arm further around him but stopping instantly when he felt you flinch and lets go.

“I got it.” You mumble, tightening your grip around his waist as he flips the kickstand up and begins the journey home. When he pulls into the drive, he turns the engine off and kicks the kickstand back down as you climb off the back of the motorbike. You wait at the front door for Maverick to unlock the door since he was the only one out of the two of you to bring the house keys with you. The second the door is opened, you make a beeline towards the stairs, but Maverick is quick to call you back, making you stop in your tracks and turn to face him as he closes and locks the door behind him.

“Can we speak in the living room, please?” Maverick asks gently, waiting patiently for you to nod lightly and head into the living room with Maverick following behind. Both of you sit on the sofa, a small space separating the two of you.

“Is everything okay, dad?” You ask quietly, worried you were about to receive some bad news.

“That’s actually what I wanted to ask you. I haven’t seen you much recently, and I’ve noticed you wear hoodies a lot more than you used to, especially in this weather when everyone else is in t-shirts.” Maverick asks, making you immediately avert eye contact, focusing on your hands as you instantly start fiddling with your hoodie toggles.

“I mean, you’re the kind of guy to wear a jacket in the middle of summer. I don’t think you’re in much of a position to judge, are you?” You ask weakly, a feeble attempt at a chuckle escaping your lips.

“Yeah, I was asking for that one. But I am worried about you, sweetheart. You’ve locked yourself away and I just want to help. You can tell me anything, you know that don’t you?” Maverick says softly, his eyes filled with worry as he watches you carefully. You pressed your lips shut, not wanting to tell your dad what was going on with you when he already had enough on his plate with Iceman’s possible cancer, Carole passing away recently and Bradley cutting off all contact.

“I’m fine dad, just stressed about school.” You say, plastering a smile on your face to convince your dad that you’re okay.

“Sweetheart. This is a safe space; you can tell me whatever is upsetting you. I know it’s not school because you would’ve gone to Ice about it. He’s always helped you with school work.” Maverick says, his voice never raising or showing any more than his genuine concern.

“I know Uncle Ice is dealing with a lot right now. Waiting for his test results must be terrifying and I didn’t want to bother him.” You say, grabbing at the first excuse that came into your head.

“We both know Ice prefers to be busy and doing stuff when he’s awaiting big news, regardless of whether it’s good or bad news. He would’ve loved to help you with your work. Please tell me what’s wrong, y/n.” Maverick urges softly, his worry reaching an all-time high as you briefly glance at him.

“You’ll hate me.” You whisper, your voice cracking as some tears make their way out of their ducts.

“y/n, I promise you, there is nothing you could say to me right now that would make me hate you.” Maverick says, watching you carefully as you think over his words, taking a deep breath before you speak.

“Recently, a lot of girls at school started picking on me. At first, it was manageable, just whispers in the hallways but they started spreading rumours and I lost all my friends. I felt so alone, no one likes me at school anymore. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I just hate it so much.” You say, a tear rolling down your cheek as you speak. Maverick reaches out for your hand, pausing when your hand twitches away from his.

“Is there more?” Maverick questions quietly, warning signs flashing in his head at your behaviour, remembering how you reacted on the motorbike as well.

“I started… hurting myself. The noises were just so loud in my head that it was the only way to make it quiet even if it was just for a moment. I just wanted the noise to stop.” You say, tears now flowing freely down your cheeks as your dad wastes no time pulling you into a hug, a hand running up and down your back as he presses repeated kisses to the top of your head.

“Oh y/n/n. I’ve got you.” He whispers, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the tears that threatened to fall at your confession.

“I’m sorry, dad. Please don’t hate me.” You say through your tears, clinging to your dad as he shakes his head against the top of your head.

“You have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. I couldn’t hate you for this. I’m the one who didn’t notice you were struggling.” Maverick says gently, yet firmly as he squeezes you just that little bit tighter.

“You were busy with so much. I didn’t want to bother you. I just wanted the noise to stop.” You whimper, burying your face in your dad’s chest as Maverick let the tears fall, gently cradling your head to his chest.

“Please don’t ever feel like you’re bothering me. Not about something like that. I love you so, so, so much and I hate that you went through this alone because I wasn’t paying attention to you. I should’ve done better.” Maverick says, his voice breaking as he spoke, giving away to you that he was crying which made you cry harder. You made your dad, the strongest person you know, your hero, cry.

“It wasn’t your fault dad. You’ve been dealing with so much.” You say, reaching up to wipe at your eyes with your hoodie sleeve.

“But I could’ve lost you.” Maverick whispers, every worst-case scenario now flashing through his head.

“I didn’t want to die. I just wanted something to stop everything going on in my head. I swear.” You say urgently, not wanting your dad to think the worst, although you were sure it was too late as you looked up at his face. He remains silent for a moment before speaking.

“I know how that feels.” He says, keeping you in his embrace as you pull away slightly to look up at him.

“You do?” You question softly, unable to imagine your dad in such a state.

“You were only little when Goose died. But when he did, I practically shut down. I stopped training for a while, and I could not stop thinking about how I could’ve, how I should’ve been better for him. I thought about hurting myself then. Just to shut the voices up.” Maverick says, lifting a hand to swipe your tears away.

“How were you strong enough to not hurt yourself?” You ask, you were sure you tried everything you could’ve done to not get to that stage, yet you still did.

“Viper sent me to therapy after the accident. I didn’t think it would work at first but once they got me to open up, it helped a lot more than I could’ve ever thought. Maybe, if you want, we’ll look into finding a therapist for you, to help you through this. You’re not alone, y/n. Not while you have me, Ice, Slider, and the others.” Maverick says, running a hand through your hair. You lift your hand to swipe away at any excess tears Maverick missed and your hoodie sleeve slipped down an inch, exposing part of a scar and Maverick was quick to look away. You hadn’t chosen to show your scars and so he wasn’t going to impose anything on you unless you made the decision. After wiping your tears, you gingerly lift a hand and wipe at Maverick’s face, making a soft smile appear on his face.

“Thank you for being here for me dad.” You say quietly, making Maverick nod.

“No need to thank me, sweetheart. It’s my job. I just want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything, no matter what’s going on with me. You can always come to me for help.” Maverick says, his gaze never leaving you as he speaks, making you nod in understanding.

“I know dad.” You whisper before a small yawn slips past your lips, it was then that Maverick had noticed that the sun was almost gone, and night had fallen.

“Let’s get to bed, it’s been a long evening. We’ll talk more in the morning.” Maverick says, getting to his feet and waiting for you before the two of you head upstairs. You enter your room while Maverick enters his, both of you getting ready for bed before Maverick knocks on your bedroom door, asking for permission to enter. He finds you already curled up under your covers and as he bends down to bid you goodnight, you speak up.

“Stay. Please.” You whisper, watching as your dad nods and you quickly move over to make room for your dad. Once he’s settled next to you, you curl into his side, allowing him to wrap an arm around you and allowing your eyes to slip closed.

“I love you dad.” You whisper in the darkness.

“I love you too, y/n.” Maverick replies, beginning the action of running his hand up and down your back which lulls you to sleep almost instantly, the final thought running through your head being how grateful you were for your dad, and how much you loved him.

Maverick watched you sleep for a moment, listening to your soft breaths as he continued to run his hand up and down your back. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much you went through without him knowing. But as his eyes slipped closed for the night, he swore that he was going to do better by you, and he was going to make sure you never felt alone again. Because no one deserves to go through that.

#justabigassnerd #justabigassnerd writes #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun fic #top gun maverick fic #pete maverick mitchell #maverick #pete mitchell #pete mitchell x reader #pete mitchell x y/n #pete mitchell x daughter reader #maverick x reader #maverick x daughter!reader #pete maverick mitchell x reader #pete maverick mitchell x daughter!reader #pete 'maverick' mitchell #pete 'maverick' mitchell x reader #pete 'maverick' mitchell x daughter!reader #x daughter!reader

[tbyfandoms]

I’ve Got You | JJ Maybank x Reader

Pairing: jj maybank x f!reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: struggling with financial burdens, y/n starts to crumble under the pressure. jj notices the girl he loves is hard on her luck, so he does everything he can to help fix it (requested)

Warnings: descriptions of financial struggles and depression, mild swearing

Masterlist/Request Form | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: hello everybody! it feels great to finally get out my first fic of the new year! things have been kinda crazy irl so I haven't had a ton of time to write, but I just wanna say I appreciate all of your support and patience. when I got this request it really hit home, so I hope the user who requested this enjoys! in other words, I can't wait for s3 of obx to drop this month, I've missed my blondie <3

It was all beginning to be too much. You aren’t quite sure how much more of this you could handle.

Flopping onto your bed, you try your best to not fall asleep right then and there. You’ve just gotten home from a long shift at work, and to say you're drained would be an understatement.

You're not really sure where it all started. At one point you were fine, dealing with finances and typical life whatsits, when suddenly it all came crashing down.

Bills and necessities started pilling up and for some reason everything seemed to be getting more and more expensive. You were doing everything you could; taking on another job, spending less, even selling things you no longer needed. None of it seemed to help, though. You feel like you're being buried under all the pressure, and it doesn't help that it's starting to take a toll on your mental health.

Days and days went by where you would do nothing but go from one job to the next, come home and do what you needed, and then fall asleep. It was all starting to blur, you can't even remember what life was like before this all began. It makes you feel so sad and stressed, but you're not quite sure what else to do.

You're supposed to be hanging out with the Pogues tonight, and you'd promised you'd go since you've missed the last three hangouts to either work or catch up on sleep, but you're struggling to even keep your eyes open right now. Honestly with everything going on lately, you haven’t been one to want to socialize anyways. You can feel yourself pulling away from your friends more and more, but you feel as if you can’t do anything to stop it.

Turning over on your side, you grab your phone and check what time it is. It's early-ish. You could totally rest your eyes for a bit before you get up. Today was just so exhausting, it felt like you pulled a double because one of your co-workers called off and you had to do all their work as well as your own. The whole thing was a total nightmare.

It wouldn't hurt to drift off for a while. If you're a little late to the hangout later it won't be the end of the world. Everyone would probably just brush it off. So far no one's caught on to what's happening in your life and somehow that soothes you. You'd hate to worry any of them, they each have their own problems to deal with and you're not gonna add to the list.

Everything would be fine eventually. Although, from what you can see, it all seems far from fine.

*****

There's a rapid and consistent buzzing coming from your left side, and the feeling has you bolting out of bed.

It takes you a second to regain your balance and whereabouts, but as soon as you do you find yourself filled with panic. It’s darker out now, much darker than it was earlier.

When your eyes adjust to the brightness of your phone you see notifications on top of notifications of missed calls and texts. They’re all from the Pogues wondering where in the hell you are. You were supposed to meet with them hours ago. Shit.

Quickly, you open the groupchat you have with everyone and send a simple but honest text.

Had work today and passed out as soon as I got home. Didn’t realize how late it was. Promise I’ll be at the next hang, sorry!

Hopefully it’s enough to ease their minds. It’s not like you lied either, you really did have work and passed out. Just because you didn’t wanna go in the first place doesn’t mean it’s any less valid.

The thought sort of jars you. You can’t ever think of a time where you didn’t want to spend every moment with your friends, whether it be to surf, party, or just sit with each other. You frown at how much things have changed. You miss-what feels like-the old days, you miss the old you.

Your phone lights up with countless more messages from the Pogues as they take in your response. It's all a bit overwhelming. So, too tired to care you silence your phone and toss it aside. Just like everything else that isn't work, sleep, or bills; you could deal with it later.

Stomach growling, you decide you should get up and try to find something to eat. Making your way to the kitchen you think over everything you have to choose from, which isn't much.

Opening the fridge, your thoughts are further confirmed. It's practically a ghost town in this thing. You haven't had a chance to stop at the grocery store lately so there's not a whole lot to make. It's not like you have the money to go anyways.

Sighing, you close the fridge door and try to be creative with your limited options. Before you can even start to brainstorm though, there's several knocks at the front door.

Your eyebrows knit in confusion as you wonder who in the world it could be. You're definitely not expecting anyone, especially this late at night.

Slowly creeping to the front door, you nearly jump as more incessant knocking rings out through the house. Looking through the peephole your nerves both settle and start up again at the sight.

It's JJ. You know exactly why he's here before you even open the door, and that thought alone makes you nervous. You really don't feel like explaining yourself any further than what you sent in the groupchat, but it looks like that's finally starting to be unavoidable.

"JJ,' you say as you open the door, feigning as much joy as possible to try and throw him off. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Y/N, what are you doing here? You were supposed to meet us hours ago and you never showed up."

The blonde lets himself in as he brushes past you. Blinking several times at the sudden intrusion, you close the door and begin to repeat yet again why you weren't there. "I told you-"

"No, don't. I don't want to her that bullshit excuse you sent in the groupchat because that's exactly what it is; bullshit."

Irritation flutters through your body as you take in JJ's words. "It's not bullshit, JJ! I did work today and just like I told you I passed out afterwards because of how exhausted I was! I can show you my damn timecard if you don't believe me."

Rolling your eyes you start to open the front door again, thinking it's high time JJ left. He's definitely overstayed his welcome if this is how he's gonna act.

"You know what? I think I would like to see your timecard. How about you show me all your timecards from the past week, month even!? Because it seems like all you do now is work."

The boy's words stop you in your tracks, hand on the doorknob. "I-I do not work all the time." You wince at your lack of confidence. You don't dare to turn towards JJ, knowing he'll instantly be able to tell you're lying.

"Yes you do, either that or you're lying to us, to me, about where you are every time we try to hang out or when I'm just checking in with you. There's clearly something going on." JJ's tone goes soft, concern seeping through his words as he continues. "Please look at me, Y/N."

Slowly, you turn towards him. You're trying your best to fight back tears, every instance of JJ or the others texting you flooding your mind. Every time you told them you had work when they tried to plan something or when you would cancel on them at the last minute when an extra shift opened up.

You thought you were doing good with hiding your problems and your excessive work and sleep schedule, but clearly you were wrong.

"There's nothing going on, J. I just get a lot of shifts at work, it's no big deal." Your voice gives at the end and you clear your throat to try and cover it up, but from the look on JJ's face, he's not believing any of it.

"C'mon, don't you think I know when there's something wrong with my girl?" The endearment has your eyes shooting to his, another sudden rush of emotion clogging your system. It's all too much to hold in, and you can feel the dam about to burst.

JJ apparently notices this too, because not a second later he's rushing forwards, his arms wrapping around you instantly. His warmth and familiar scent circling you.

The tears fall freely down your cheeks, soaking into JJ's soft, cotton shirt. Weeks worth of pent up emotion ravages your body, leaving you shaking and drained.

JJ leads you to the couch, sitting you both down but not letting go of you for even a moment. "Tell me what's wrong. I can't stand to see you like this."

Looking up at JJ, you try to regain your composure as he wipes away the tears on your cheeks. The subtle brush of his thumbs across your skin has you feeling warm and safe.

It's evident by the look on his face that the blonde isn't going to let this go. He'll sit here all night with you if he has to, that's how much he cares and how much he's worried about you.

There's a part of you, albeit small, that knows you should've confided in your friends about everything going on, should've confided in JJ at the very least. After everything you've been through together it should've been a given that you couldn't keep something from him for long.

Shaking your head, you try to think of where the hell to start. How do you just come out and tell someone you care so deeply for that you're struggling financially? Mentally? And that you have been for months?

Considering you don't even know where everything began, you just try you best to recount when it all started weighing heavily on you. You tell JJ about all the bills, about taking on a second job just to barely make ends meet. You tell him how depressed you've felt, how closed off, how tired.

It makes your heart hurt how JJ's eyes gloss over, how he shakes his head and scoffs in disbelief over everything. You know you're struggling badly right now, but to see how it effects someone when you finally say it all out loud makes it seem so much more real.

"I can't believe you've had to deal with all that, that you're still dealing with it." The blonde takes off the red hat he's wearing and runs his fingers through the waves that have been hidden there. "Why-Why didn't you tell me?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you bite your bottom lip to try and hold back the tears threatening to spill again. "I guess I just thought it wasn't worth it. I know you guys have things of your own to deal with, especially you, and I didn't want to add on any more burdens."

"Hey, no, none of that." JJ shakes his head and reaches out to hold your face within his hands. "Don't ever think that you can't come to me with something like this. Sure I've got a dead beat dad to deal with, but that's nothing I can't handle. I wouldn't let anything come between me being there for you. You're not a burden, not even a little bit. Especially not when you're dealing with something like this."

Overcome with emotions, all you can manage is a nod along with a smile, your heart feeing so full and so unlike what's it felt like for ages. Although everything is far from being solved, it's nice to know you have people to lean on, that there's someone who would do anything for you when it feels like you've been alone for so long.

Removing his hands from your face and wrapping them around you once more, JJ hums into the side of your head and you can't help but to let out a long sigh, trying to let go for just a moment and be here. It feels good to be wrapped in the Pogue's arms. To be honest, you could stay like this forever.

Before long, your mind is back to worrying about everything going on, about your difficult situation and how there seems to be no end in sight. "What am I gonna do, JJ?" You whisper while holding the boy a little closer, needing to feel grounded somehow.

Devastated by the broken sound of your voice and heartbreaking situation, JJ does his best to rack his mind of what he could do to help you. He'd offer you all the money he's got, but he knows you'd never accept it, not even as a gift. You're too proud and selfless to ever take money from anyone, especially not your best friends.

The boy grows restless, frustration and sorrow coursing through his body as your story replays in his mind. He can't wrap his head around how this has happened to you. Sure, it's not uncommon for those who live in Outer Banks, but the fact it's you rips him to shreds.

JJ thinks back on what he did when he was strapped for cash. Back to when he had to pick up the slack every time his old man went on a weeklong binge and didn't go to work for weeks on end. Suddenly, an idea comes to mind and the blonde rushes to offer it to you.

"What if-what if I talked to my boss to see if we can get you a serving gig or something where I work?"

You look up at JJ with skeptical eyes, not sure if what he's saying could really happen. "I don't know, J. I mean, are you sure? I tried to get in there when I was looking for a better job, but they weren't hiring."

"Yeah! I know I'm shit for a busboy but my word is good, and with your references you'd definitely get in! One of our servers just quit to go back to the mainland because she couldn't handle island life anymore, so it's perfect!"

You can't help the giggle that slips past your lips. This one sure has a way with words.

"C'mon, Y/N, it would be great for you. The pay is way better than the jobs you have now and the servers even get tips. You wouldn't have to have two jobs anymore and could worry a little less about bringing in money. The worst thing you'd have to deal with is the Kooks, but you know how to handle them better than anyone." A coy smile plays at the edge of JJ's pink lips. "Plus, you'd be able to see me a lot more too."

"Okay, I'd love that, thank you" you reply shyly. Looking away from JJ for a minute, you can't help the doubt creeping in all over again. "What if it doesn't work out, though? What if your boss already found someone. I can't be without a job, JJ. I need to make sure-"

JJ grabs your face, holding it in his hands just like he did earlier. The warmth instantly filling in the cold spots the fear began to create. "They didn't and you won't be. No matter what happens you still have the two jobs you've got now, but hell I'd quit and let you have my job if it means you can stop struggling with those. I mean it when I say, I've got you."

The boy flashes you a smile before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on your forehead, doing anything to try and get you to feel better. Luckily, it works. You smile back and lean into one of his hands as heat rushes to your face.

"You really know how to make a girl feel better don't you, Maybank?" There's a hint of teasing in your tone, but you truly mean it as well. People may say JJ is a lot of things, but they can never say he's not a good friend.

"Anything for you, baby," he winks. Rolling your eyes, you push away from the blonde before he can get too cocky over the way he makes you feel. There's a smirk on your lips as you walk back towards the kitchen, stomach fluttering for more reasons than just being hungry.

Opening the fridge, you try to scrounge up an idea for what you can offer JJ. "You want anything to eat or drink? There's not much but I'm sure we can think of something."

"Yeah, starved! Forget cooking, though, you don't need to do all that. Let's go to The Wreck, you know I would die for one of Mr. C's burgers."

Laughing, you nod your head as you close the fridge and make your way to the front door. "That actually sounds amazing, let's go."

"Hey," JJ says, stopping you as you put your shoes on. "And don't worry, it's on me."

Tilting your head to the side, you look quizzically at the boy in front of you. "Kie's parents don't even charge us when we eat there?"

"Okay, yeah, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

"You're such an idiot," you laugh. JJ smiles at the sound and at the sight of your eyes gaining back a little bit of that sparkle he hasn't seen in a long time.

"But you still love me, though," he replies, not even needing to ask if that's true as he opens the door for you.

"I sure do."

As you make yourself comfortable behind JJ on his motorbike, you do your best to try and get your mind off everything. It's been hard to feel any sort of ease for as long as you've been dealing with this stuff, but with JJ it feels like for once you can just settle.

You have no idea if JJ's serving idea is gonna work out or what's gonna happen tomorrow. But you know at the end of the day you'll still have him, still have your friends, to help you figure it all out.

It's hard to open up about it all, but there's a part of you that knows it was the right thing to do with JJ. He's the greatest person you've ever met, and you wouldn't trade him for the world. And just like he said earlier, he's got you, and that's all that really matters.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank angst #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #obx x reader #jj maybank #outer banks #requested

[dixons-sunshine]

Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU Headcannons: Part Three | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Word count: 861.

A/n: So I've made it a habit recently to post a fic every one-two days, but I was extremely busy today, so I didn't have time to start working on any of my other requests. I still wanted to post something, though, so here's a part three to my personal headcannons for the SSHD AU that nobody asked for. This is mostly set in the future but before the outbreak. I hope y'all like these! If you wanna see more, let me know.

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

★ After graduating high school, you went to college to get a degree in teaching.

★ Daryl didn't go to college, however. He felt like more school was unnecessary for him, but he encouraged you to do it since he knew you wanted to become a teacher.

★ Daryl managed to land a job as an apprentice of sorts to a mechanic and got a second job as a bouncer after a while, and used some (most of it but he didn't tell you that) of the money to help pay for your tuition and textbooks.

★ You had your suspicions about it, and got a job of your own to help pay for everything. However, Daryl shot down any talks of you getting a second job, claiming that one job was already hard enough added on top of college.

★ The two of you rented a crappy, worn down apartment until you graduated and landed a full-time teaching job at a kindergarten near Atlanta, and you and Daryl finally managed to upgrade to a decent apartment.

★ Once the two of you had settled down and had gotten hitched at the courthouse, you invited your mother over for a housewarming of sorts.

★ She definitely tore into you both for eloping, but in the end, she was ultimately happy for the two of you.

★ She started teasingly calling you Mrs Dixon at every opportunity, and playfully threatening Daryl that if he ever broke your heart, she'd kill him.

★ She was a decade too late for that talk, however, so Daryl paid it no mind whatsoever.

★ Your mom was practically your best friend, so when she died three years later due to cancer, you were devastated.

★ You regretted not having a proper wedding like your mom had wanted you to have, but Daryl assured you that she didn't hate you for it.

★ Daryl was also heartbroken. He couldn't believe that the sweet woman who had basically taken him in was dead.

★ It was a hard couple of months after that, but Daryl refrained from falling into old habits and distancing himself to deal with his emotions alone. He reminded himself that you were a team and that you needed him more than ever at that moment. He couldn't pull away at a time like that.

★ Things got better with time. With the both of you taking the time to properly grieve and mourn, it got easier. The sadness when you thought of her death never fully vanquished, but with time, you were feeling better, visiting her grave whenever you had the chance.

★ When you and Daryl moved from the trailer park all those years ago, he didn't tell anyone from his family where he was going.

★ He didn't even tell his father. He just packed his bags with his things and silently disappeared from the trailer.

★ Merle didn't know about it, either. Daryl loved his brother but he knew what a dick he was and what he involved himself in, and he didn't want that in his new life with you. He wanted to start fresh, wipe the slate clean.

★ It was a couple of months before the outbreak when you and Daryl saw Merle again. You were walking around, doing grocery shopping, when you bumped into him.

★ Merle was immensely surprised when he noted the wedding rings on both of your fingers, and demanded to know why he wasn't invited to the wedding.

★ However, he guessed he shouldn't have been surprised when Daryl bitterly spat out that there wasn't a wedding and that you eloped. If he knew anything about Daryl, it's that he doesn't do big, fancy events.

★ About a month before the outbreak, you started feeling nauseous and more tired than usual. A total of three pregnancy tests confirmed that the reason for that wasn't because you were ill, but because you had a life growing inside of you.

★ Daryl was surprised to find out you were pregnant. Neither of you planned the pregnancy and it was extremely unexpected.

★ However, you both decided to keep the baby.

★ Daryl was scared of what parenthood had in store for him. He didn't want to end up like his father or be even worse than him.

★ It took for you to gently talk him through his fears for him to start calming down.

★ After he was calmed down, he allowed himself to feel happy. The two of you were in a stable environment with enough money between the both of you to accommodate a baby, so he felt himself relax.

★ That didn't last long, because soon the two of you would hear about the dead rising and see the news reports that warn you to evacuate immediately.

#krys writes .ೃ࿐ #shopping spree hangout dreams #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #twd daryl #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x y/n #daryl x female reader #daryl x you #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x you #young!daryl dixon #young!daryl #young daryl dixon #norman reedus #norman reedus x you #norman reedus x reader #the walking dead

[karenandhenwillson]

I've seen so much discourse about Bucktommy and especially Tommy and it is so wild. I just want to write down some of my thoughts over all of it because that tends to help me to stop thinking about it.

"Oh, how can anyone just abandon Buddie for Bucktommy?"

Has anyone really abandoned Buddie, though? Or are they just for the moment very excited about a new and so very carefully portrait queer story line? Just because some people talk more (or for the moment only) about Bucktommy, doesn't mean they don't like Buddie anymore. They just have something shiny and most importantly canon to fawn over for the moment.

Also, I'd like to give that question back: Why aren't you all excited for a carefully and softly portrait new queer storyline about a character a huge part of the fandom—including the actor himself—hoped for years would get a queer story line?

And it's a pretty unique queer story. Of course, we had Michael figuring out his sexualtiy and growing comfortable in it right at the beginning of the series. But there are some huge differences between Michael's story and Buck's story.

For one, we ended up in the middle of that story. Michael had already done a huge part of the work of getting to know himself. He was ready to live as a gay man. And second, nothing of what we saw until season 3 was from Michael's point of view. It was all from Athena's point of view. 

So it was a "coming-out late in life" story line, sure. But it was a queer storyline from a straight perspective. And in some instances, from a very hurt perspective about it all (which are, of course, very valid emotions for Athena, May, and Harry, but it still gave the queer side of the story line a certain taint). And they did that beautifully, too, no doubt. I especially liked that the family didn't break over it, that they grew with that experience, and that Michael and Athena became great friends over the years.

But now we also have a "coming-out late in life" story line from the queer perspective! 9-1-1 is pretty much the only series I'm following right now, so I have no idea if we had something similar recently. But from all the talk I've seen, it's pretty damn unique, especially for a male bi character. So, of course a lot of people are super excited about it. Because it's honest and good representation that the writers and the actors are handling with a lot of care.

"Oh, if it were a female love interest, you'd all hate her again!"

First of all, go back read that paragraph about many people being excited about getting a queer story line again! I think that's about 40% of the answer for everyone wondering about it.

And then, of course, Tommy has now already more depth and character and background than we ever saw about Ali or Natalia. And despite some people claiming he didn't have any kind of redemption arc, he truly had a lot more of a redemption arc than Taylor ever got even if only glimpses of it were ever shown on screen. (Maybe I'll get into my thoughts about that in another post.) Not gonna talk about Abby, because I think most of the dislike for her came long after that relationship was over after she ghosted Buck (and after Eddie had shown up).

One huge difference between every love interest of Buck or Eddie we have seen in the past to Tommy is also, that Tommy gets along really well with Eddie. We've already seen a friendship develop there. That never happened with any of the women either Eddie or Buck dated before. We saw that one dinner Buck and Taylor had with Eddie and Chris, but it was very clear it was the first time, and that was over half a year into Buck and Taylor dating, probably more like nine months.

If you wear slash googles around Buck and Eddie or not, their deep friendship is undeniable. It's very much canon that they both have a hand in raising Chris. Any love interest coming in has to deal with that, and has to somehow fit into that friendship. Tommy is the very first love interest in canon we have ever been shown to have that potential at all.

I'm personally part of the fandom that thinks that Buck and Eddie have great potential in a romantic way, BUT that they are first and foremost soulmates, no matter if platonic or romantic. And at least the Bucktommy fics I've read so far have all acknowledge the friendship of buck and Eddie and Chris' role in Buck's life. With Tommy being very accepting and supportive of it. (Though, I admit I’m very careful in my selection process.)

"Oh, Bucktommy is only a steppingstone for Buddie anyway! Don't get so invested in it!"

Who are you tell anyone what they should get invested in? I also think, with the excitement right now, even if Bucktommy break up, the ship itself will live on in fandom.

And also, didn't any of you learn out of the cheating story line they settled Hen and Karen with?

There is barely any content for Henren*. And I've been looking! Most stories they are tagged in don't really focus on their relationship. And those who do focus on their relationship get barely any attention. And you know why that is? Because a lot of people can't or don't want to deal with the cheating. (I deal with it by trying to ignore it or seeking out content where it's fixed!) Do you all really want to have a second queer story line that centers around cheating?

And even if none of you care for Henren (which... I know many don't *shrugs sadly*), have you all already forgotten the real pain over Buck kissing Lucy and then not fessing up to Taylor about it right away? (Once again, I deal by either ignoring it or seeking out content that fixes that bullshit.)

I'm honestly pretty disgusted by all the speculation about 7x06 that has anything to do with Buck and Eddie cheating on Tommy and Marisol during the bachelor party. And even more so about all the fics one can find about that, or that use Tommy as a device for Buck and Eddie realizing they are in love. (Honestly, even filtering out the other relationship tag while looking for stories in one relationship tag doesn't prevent one from stumbling over those stories right now, no matter if one is currently looking for Buck/Tommy or Buck/Eddie stories. It's so fucking annoying. I've turned to only reading old Buddie fics for the moment.)

Aside from the whole cheating of it all, why do any of you think the next episode will focus on anyone else but Maddie and Chim?

"Bucktommy is so racist! But really, no surprise in this fandom!"

What's no surprise is that "racist" is once more used as a buzzword in this fandom. To the point that BiPOC fans of Bucktommy are being told they are racist for the ship they like. (Nothing new about that in this fandom either.) Honestly, half the arguments about why the ship is oh so racist either make my head hurt while I try to follow the many, many, many mental loops people are making to get there, or they just make me laugh outright.

Do some of you really believe it when you say "Buck got together with a White man instead of his Latino best friend, so of course that's racist!"??? I'm just... Are you okay? Do you maybe need something warm to drink, a snack, and a nice place somewhere in the sun far away from the internet to just enjoy nature for a little while?

As I said, I'll probably make another post about Tommy's redemption arc over the whole "He is an unrepentant racist and misogynist". That redemption arc exists and has been baked in since season 2 (even if some of people clearly lack the media literacy to see it). Though, other people already put together great meta posts about this. But maybe if there are enough of it, some people will for once acutally read and start to think instead of continuing to spew their hate.

*PS: If anyone has good Henren contant, especially fanfiction, feel free to drop me a DM. I'm always looking!

#911 abc #tommy kinard #even buckley #bucktommy #hen wilson #karen wilson #henren

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for mentioning college again to my online friend, despite her telling me she knows it's not for her/not making a decision about it right now?

We both turned 18 this year, and are in our last years of highschool, and hopefully will both graduate this year! We met two years ago, and call and play games together sometimes, send each other selfies, share our silly crushes—she's the best girl friend I have right now and im very grateful for her.

Some info about me: both of my parents grew up very low income and from rough places and got full scholarships/a deal(like they pay for your college, and then you work for them after), because of this they're financially doing much better than both their families(my mother regularly sending money back home to pay for surgeries , bills, etc.). All of this is to say I've been raised with the mindset that higher education is my ticket to bettering my life, and I take school very seriously. I live in an area with a lot of immigrants, and all my friends do plan on going to college. Here is my disclaimer that I know college is *not* for everyone, and you do not need to go to college to be successful. But my friend is in the same stage in life as me, and I think it could be beneficial for her. She's not the best student at all(also home-schooled and does online schooling), but she's passing all her classes. We've talked about it before and I've asked if she's thought about college, and she said no because everyone in her family who went was just left with debt. Additionally she's not motivated in school now, so she doesn't think she would be motivated in college and would just end up as a "money dump". She's also talked about college with her mom, who said that she was only 18 and didn't need to make decisions about it right now. Right now her plan is to get a minimum wage job after high school(she's mentioned a fast food chain). I do think it would be good for her to get out of the house because right now she's basically stuck at home because her mom doesn't like going places. To my knowledge she has no friends irl, because of the homeschooling. Which is one of the reasons why I think college would be great for her--the chance to be with other people your own age.

We've only talked about college one time where I just asked, and after that I haven't mentioned it because I don't want to act like I have any say in her life decisions or make her feel bad. I've just been thinking about it lately because logically to me it seems like if she did want to go to college, now would be the best time because she would have the support of her online school where she has a counselor. Her mom didn't go to college and she isn't in regular contact with her dad.

For more context my family is middle class and I'm not sure what her financial situation is, but I do know comfortable but not deeply so. I would hate to bring up college if it's something she knows she cant afford( but long term I think going to college would help her make more money than any job she started now, which is why Im thinking about bringing it up again). I don't know if this is enough context, and I'm willing to provide more! I'll admit I'm not the smartest teen out there, so if you see any thing wrong with my thinking or think I'm a total asshole please tell me and I'll check my behavior. Im also keeping in mind her lack of motivation that she mentioned she had in school, and of course her mental health and wellbeing is of like. the utmost importance.

so, would I be the asshole for bringing up college with her again, despite knowing her situation? I really love this friend and the last thing I would want to do with her is be disrespectful and insensitive. thank you for very much, Tumblr! any advice you can give in the comments would be greatly appreciated.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[kyouka-supremacy]

Okay about Beast sskk; because I realized I've got a very definite picture of what the Beast post-canon is like that is only in my mind and I never actually put down, so here we go. Very needed content warning of sickeningly fluff and Beast sskk being disgustingly in love with each other, I suppose.

After Dazai killed himself, Atsushi is reasonably tormented, and can't sleep at night. Roaming across Yokohama late at night, he always ends up at Akutagawa's– instinctively, unconsciously, to an extent even unwillingly. He doesn't choose to, it's more about countless nights unable to sleep spent wandering with no destination and still always finding himself in front of Akutagawa's place for some reason. Akutagawa somehow always knowing when it's going to happen so that he can face him before Atsushi has time to hesitate and run away. How they don't really need words or explanations most of the time, how for Atsushi knowing that there's another person who understands is enough, and everything he needs. How before Atsushi realizes it (and thus keeping him from trying and prevent it), Akutagawa's house has become the only place where he can fall asleep.

That's how they start living together before even being together. They might not even have an actual “getting together” moment, you know? The development of their relationship is so natural and spontaneous, it was meant to end that way from the beginning. Besides, Beast sskk don't really need words between them, so... I suppose an actual confession, albeit nice, would be almost superfluous.

Soon enough they move together to a small apartment near the ada (I'm assuming Atsushi has still enough money saved from his old job). Against popular belief, with time it kind of crystallized in me the idea that Atsushi wouldn't join the ada? His life to that point has constantly been doused by violence and pain and death, he deserves a long break to cope with all the trauma; throwing him right back to another environment where he's constantly pushed to fight and use his ability would not do any good to his mental health; especially when he's got such a conflictual and hating relationship with Byakko, even worse than it is in canon. I wasn't kidding about the house husband thing. Beast Atsushi stays home and chills down and is safe and away from all major sources of stress and triggering environments. Slowly, with time, he goes out more often, gradually relearns what normality is supposed to be like, and bit by bit all his traumatic experiences get more distant, and the nightmares more rare. Akutagawa follows up with his ada job– obviously! There's a whole deal in the end about how important it is for him to keep doing his job and trying to be good. I do believe the ada is the right place for Akutagawa. He returns home to Atsushi who always welcomes him with warmth and joy, and they cuddle a lot.

But I also believe that there would be times when Atsushi is required to go back to action and fight– he's not a member of the ada and he doesn't work for them, but it's obvious that when the ada is in danger and Yokohama is facing serious threats, the guild and the rats and ultimately the doa, the times will call for his intervention. He usually comes to help or rescue Akutagawa, a trump card of sorts. And it's endearing, how Akutagawa is always the one, even among the ada, most contrary on getting Atsushi involved, how he wants to protect him and keep him away, how more than anything he wants him to be safe. As for Atsushi, I really like the concept of this man who retired from action, that spends most of his time at home or chatting with the seniors in the neighborhood, who joins the fight only when the situation is most desperate and reveals himself to be the most powerful and destructive beast to have ever walked on earth. He reluctantly fights, and together with Akutagawa they end up saving the day for everyone, because as Dazai himself said nothing can stop the both of them together.

On the other hand, when the world isn't ending Atsushi solves that very specific role of crime drama protagonist's husband who's very supportive of their partner and listens to them ramble at home about their cases. He often offers useful insights on how criminal organizations work.

Atsushi didn't replace his collar after it broke. They're barely visible under his turtleneck, but he has now wrapped bandages in its place: to hide his scars, to keep the memory of Dazai with him everywhere he goes, to remember what he's lost but also what he's gained.

Ah, and when it comes to the fight against Fukuchi, Atsushi is the one to die for Akutagawa, of course.

Headcanons that directly contradict something stated above but that I still like:

Sskk get together after six months– it's got an ironic taste to it, the timestamp their canon counterparts set to kill each other now being the time they declared their love to each other. It's so soon, but also is it really? They immediately clicked the moment they met each other, and they were always destined to be. At that point, there's no one in the world they need more than they need each other.

In case of Atsushi still wearing the collar for some time after the canon events: sskk had their first kiss when Atsushi took the collar off for the first time. Ever since Dazai died, Atsushi is haunted and unstable; he's throughout scared of taking off the collar, terrified by the idea of hurting someone unintentionally, now that Dazai can't be there to controll him (both through his ability and by the general power he used to have over Atsushi's psyche). Akutagawa sees how much Atsushi is physically hurting, and insists on him taking the collar off; they fight over it for months (verbally, for the most part, except for a couple of times when the fights become physical– but without abilities), before Akutagawa finally manages to convince Atsushi to take it off for a few hours. When they're alone, because after months of being persuaded, Atsushi can trust Akutagawa to be able to defend himself; and also something about “you would never hurt me”. Thing is, when Atsushi finally takes it off, he quickly spirals into a HUGE panic attack, not able to trust himself not to harm the people he cares about; and the only person around is Akutagawa, and he cares about him deeply. The tiger is taking over, and Akutagawa is panicking, and he's desperately looking for a way to quickly ground Atsushi so he just. Kisses him. Which effectively works in the way it immediately distracts Atsushi, as well as causes him to zone out for several minutes. Akutagawa immediately apologizes, and then panics again when Atsushi doesn't answer for a while. It's kinda cute. After that, Atsushi gradually learns to take his collar off more and more often; this time, he can really trust that, if Akutagawa is with him, everything is going to be okay.

#This might as well be the sappiest thing I've ever put down but like. idk did I make it go through that Beast sskk are meant to be #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd beast #mine #15/08/23 #This is ridiculous I never realized how soft I made them until I actually wrote it down. #It's so silly when I'm also the first one ready to make canon sskk suffer #What can I say. They've suffered enough. #“The bandages are barely visible under his turtleneck” I mean that's for when he wears his turtleneck– #and not Akutagawa's striped shirt as he does at home. Which is an awful amount of times but nobody needs to know that. #I'd say this is self-indulgent but it's not like I'm doing it on purpose this is seriously what Beast sskk is like in my mind. #Nothing much I can do about it. That's the realistic Beast outcome for me. #If the author wants to prove me wrong by dropping Beast 2 they're more than welcome but untill then *this* is my canon #kbcu (Kyotag Beast Cinematic Universe)

[albertasunrise]

Look for the Light - 2

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So excited to share this with you. So much to come folks! 🙊😍)

Series Masterlist - Part 1

"He hates me!" Ellie grumbled to you under her breath as she ate the last of the sandwich from her pack.

"He hates everyone." You snorted as you nibbled on your ration of jerky.

"He doesn't hate you."

"Doesn't like me." You grumbled in reply, a little louder than you'd intended but Joel made no sign of hearing you.

"So what's the deal with you two anyway?" She asked as she pulled Joel's coat closer.

"Nothing." You replied with a shrug.

"Bullshit."

"What do you-"

"I catch you looking at him all googly-eyed when he's not looking and I've seen him do the same when you ain't." She stated and you scoffed at that "It's true." She defended "He clearly cares about you and you clearly care about him so what's the issue?"

"I owe him my life." You stated plainly "He saved me and I have followed him ever since." Ellie gave you a bemused look as she waited for you to continue "He keeps me around because he saved me... All this is."

"You mean more to him than that." Ellie argued but you simply shook your head.

"No... I don't." You grumbled before eating the last of your jerky "Get some sleep. Got a long walk ahead of us tomorrow."

Ellie didn't argue. She ate the last bite of her food before laying down on the hard forest floor and pulling Joel's coat over her small shoulders. You watched her a moment before your eyes drifted to Joel again. The man was standing in the same spot he'd been a few minutes ago, eyes scanning the forest for any sign of movement.

You knew telling him to get some rest was futile. The man was as stubborn as they came so instead you let your head fall back against the tree you were leaning against and closed your eyes. The sound of the forest lulling you to sleep.

Joel meanwhile was replaying what he'd heard, over and over in his brain.

He keeps me around because he saved me... All this is

Did you really think that's all you meant to him?

Had he really given you no other indications of how important you were to him? He knew he wasn't good at showing any sort of real emotion. He'd shut that side away the day his daughter had died. He hadn't cried since that day either but he had hoped that the small things he did had given you the smallest indication that you were more than just a sidekick to him.

Then he remembered what you'd said to him back at the hotel.

So you're not fucking us both?

Truth was... He and Tess had broken things off the moment she realised that you meant more to him than just a casual fuck. She'd been okay with him sleeping with you occasionally. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't been sleeping with other men occasionally but when it had come to light that his feelings for you ran a little deeper. That was it.

Her words to him just before they'd left her there to die amongst those monsters still echoed in his head.

I never ask, you for anything! Not to feel the way I felt.

Joel had known, deep down, that Tess' feelings for him were a little more than just friends. But she had never pushed him for more than he was willing to give and he had always appreciated that. So it hadn't come as any surprise that when she'd figured out that he had feelings for you, she hadn't wanted any part of it. He was sure that it had hurt her more than she let on but you can't help who you love. And he didn't love her.

Save who you can save... And tell her the truth... Before it's too late.

He was sure though, as he turned to look at you and Ellie, that if he told you what you meant to him. You'd laugh in his face"

I owe him my life

That's the only reason you'd stuck around. The only reason you'd let him lose himself in you when he needed a distraction. You felt that you owed it to him. The truth of it stung more than he'd expected but he couldn't let it distract him from what he needed to do. Get Ellie to Bill and Franks.

That was his mission now.

It was a five-hour hike to Bill and Franks. Five hours and then you could have a shower and eat some of Bill's amazing food. But for now, Jerky would have to do. You were sat nibbling on your measly ration, and Ellie sat silently beside you.

"Where's Joel?" She asked having woken up to just you.

"Gone to freshen up down by the river." You stated and she gave you a slight nod before returning to her own meal.

A few bites in, you were overcome with the sudden urge to hurl and you managed to throw yourself sideways in time before you were emptying the contents of your stomach onto the forest floor.

"Whoa, you okay?" Asked Ellie as she looked at you in shock.

"Yeah." You replied as you shook your head weakly and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

'What's going on?" Joel asked as he appeared.

Wonderful You thought to yourself as you looked up at the man.

"Nothing." You replied meekly as you shook your head.

"She just hurled!" Ellie exclaimed and you cursed the teenager's honesty.

"Really?" Joel asked as he stepped closer to you, his brows drawing together in what appeared to be genuine concern.

"It's nothing." You waved off as you got to your feet "Probably about to start my..." You didn't finish your sentence. Didn't get a chance before a wave of dizziness washed over you and your knees gave out.

Ellie and Joel were quick to catch you but you didn't thank them. You shrugged them off before tossing the last of your jerky to Ellie and stalking away.

"Just got up to fast." You growled before making your way out of view so you could relieve yourself.

"She okay?" Ellie asked as she watched you disappear behind some trees.

"How should I know?" Joel grumbled and the teenagers scoffed.

"You can pretend that you don't give a shit but I can see that you do." She snapped, eyes boring into the side of Joel's head.

When she realised she wasn't going to get the reaction she wanted out of the man she dropped it. No point in fighting a losing battle.

"You want your jacket back?"

Nothing.

"I've never been in the woods." She said then, changing the subject completely "More bugs than I thought."

Still, the man said nothing. She knew he was probably upset about Tess but it wasn't your fault or hers. Yet he'd been nothing but cold towards you both since it happened.

"Look, I've been thinking about..."

"I don't want your sorries." He growled, still not looking at the teenager.

"I wasn't gonna say I'm sorry." She snapped back and this grabbed his attention "I was gonna say that I've been thinking about what happened.

Nobody made you, her or Tess take me." She said as she motioned in the direction you'd walked in "Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery or whatever and you made a choice." She paused a moment, staring him down "So don't blame me for something that isn't my fault." Joel nodded, his eyes dropping to the forest floor "And don't blame her either!"

"I don't blame her!" Joel defended and Ellie scoffed.

"Well, you've been a dick to her since we left the city."

"It's complicated." Joel grumbled and Ellie just rolled her eyes at his reply.

"Whatever."

An awkward silence fell over them both for a moment. Neither party knew what to say never so your return brought them both to sigh in relief.

"How much longer?" Ellie asked as she watched the man finish packing his supplies.

"Five-hour hike." He replied plainly and the teenager nodded.

"We can manage that." She replied before looking at you and smiling. "You've gone this way a lot?"

"Yeah." You replied, as you grabbed your own pack and slung it onto your back.

"No Infected?"

"Not often, no." You replied before looking over at Joel. "Let's get going."

You didn't wait to see if they were following. You silently trekked in the direction of Bill and Frank's. You didn't want to talk to either of them about the fact that you'd thrown up again. You didn't need to add to their burdens. Once you were at Bill and Frank's, you'd be able to rest, freshen up and lay all this to rest.

So you walked. You walked as fast as you knew Joel could handle with his bad knees. You tried to tune out Ellie's chatter but the girl was a chatterbox.

"How'd you get that scar on your head?" She asked Joel but he didn't answer, his eyes fixed on you as you walked ahead.

"What? Is it something lame?" The girl pushed "Like you fell down the stairs or something?"

"I didn't fall down any stairs." He grumbled finally and you smirked.

"Okay, so what then?"

"Someone shot at me and missed."

"See, that's cool." The teenager gushed as she glanced up at Joel "You shoot back?"

"Yeah."

"You get him?"

"No, I missed, too." He grumbled in reply and you almost turned your head to look back at him "It happens more often than you think."

"Cause you suck at shooting or, like, in general?"

"In general."

"You know, seeing as it's just the three of us, I was thinking I should pro-"

"No."

It amused you how persistent the child was when it came to having a gun of her own. You knew it wasn't unusual for kids to be curious about firearms but she was bordering on trigger-happy. You wondered if she had ever fired one outside of the FEDRA school shooting range. You hoped she'd never have to.

When the rest stop came into view you slowed your pace a little. Knowing that Joel would want to stop and restock his munitions.

"Hang back a minute." He said as he made his way over to the entrance of the derelict store "I gotta grab some stuff I stashed."

You stopped by the door, waiting for Joel and the teenager to catch up. You couldn't help the quirk of your lip at Joel's obvious misery at the child's constant chatter. He wasn't one for talking much. Only when he had a few drinks in him would he loosen up and hold a conversation with anyone. But even then, they were short.

"Stashed?" Ellie questioned as she looked up at the run-down building "Why do you have stuff stashed here?"

"You ask a lot of goddamn questions." He griped as he stepped past you and inside.

"Yes, I do." Ellie replied, smirking as she looked up at you "So, are you gonna answer me or what?"

"We hide supplies on routes." You piped up as your eyes scanned the room "In case we find ourselves short on gear..."

"Which I currently am 'cause-"

"No way!" Ellie squealed out as she ran across the store "You ever play this one?" She asked as she turned her head to look at you and you shoot your head "I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There's this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones." You grinned at her excitement.

Your eyes scanned the pilfered shelves as Ellie played around with the long-dead game. The frames, dirty and bare.

"Okay, well, I'm gonna take a look around, see if there's anything good." Ellie stated as she looked over at Joel and then at you.

"Trust me, it's all been picked over already." Joel grumbled as he kicked at the floor.

"Maybe, maybe not." Ellie shrugged as she made her way over to the back of the shop "Is there anything bad in here?" She called out as she looked through the dark doorway.

"Just you." Joel replied and you smirked as Ellie rolled her eyes at the man's reply.

"Getting funnier." She grumbled before stepping into the back.

"Where are you going?" He asked when he noticed you step away.

"Keep an eye on her." You replied with a shrug before slipping into the back.

Joel was right about the store being pillaged but there was still the odd item here or there. You shone your torch over the bare frames, hoping that you might find something of use.

"Check this out1" Ellie exclaimed and you turned to see her dropping down through a trap door on the floor.

"Ellie I don't think-" She disappeared before you got a chance to finish.

You turned your head and shone your torch down the remainder of the shelves, stopping in your tracks when it hit a familiar-looking box. You couldn't believe your eyes when you picked the item up to look at it better and without thinking you stuffed it in your pack.

"You all right back there?" Called out Joel and you turned to look back at the room you'd seen Ellie in a few minutes before, squinting when you noticed some movement at the trap door.

"Yep!" Ellie called and you smiled as you made your way towards the trap door, stopping when you saw that Joel had finally found what he was looking for.

"All there?" You asked as you stepped towards him and he nodded.

"Looks like." He replied "She being awful quiet all of a sudden." He said as he looked up at you and then at the door "Ellie?"

"She's fine." You said but he didn't listen to you, his brow pulling together the longer the girl didn't respond.

"Ellie!" He called out again but still, the girl didn't respond and suddenly you started to worry also.

Getting to his feet, Joel took a few ginger steps towards the doorway, ready for anything that could potentially come through it.

"Ellie?" He called out one more time and that's when the girl appeared.

"Picked over, my ass." She announced as she waved a box of tampons in his face and you smirked at her before looking back at him again.

"Told you she was okay."

Joel then finished swapping out the gun he had for the one he'd stashed and then, hid it all away again. A short while later you were walking again, dust kicking up behind you as you followed the dirt road to your destination.

"Holy shit." Expelled Ellie as she spotted a wrecked plain on the hillside "You fly in one of those?"

"Few times, sure." Replied Joel as he came to a stop at the girl's side.

"So lucky."

"Didn't feel like it at the time." Joel grumbled and you smirked, remembering your own experience of flying.

"Get shoved into a middle seat, pay 12 bucks for a sandwich."

"Don't forget the cramped ass toilets that always seemed to be occupied."

"Dudes, you got to go up in the sky." Ellie groaned.

"Yeah, well, so did they." Replied Joel grimly and your face fell.

Your walking on prompted the other two to follow. You zoned out the conversation when Ellie asked about how it all started, not wanting to be reminded of how one minute you were sleeping soundly in your bed and the next, you were being carried to the car so your family could flee the town you'd grown up in. The walk passed by more or less wordlessly on your part. Stopped only to look at the mass grave that sat at the side of the road, a sobering reminder of how the army had dealt with people they hadn't had space for.

You were an hour out when your stomach rolled again and you silently dashed for the treeline before emptying what was left of the contents of your stomach. Joel and Ellie watched wordlessly as you stumbled back out onto the road a few moments later but neither of them said a word and for that, you were glad. You didn't even want to think about what could possibly be wrong with you right now.

When the fence line came into view, you instantly knew something was up. The flowers outside of the house were dead. Frank would never have let them get to that state. The house looked desolate. It had always looked so lived in before and you shared a look with Joel, a silent conversation passing between the two of you as he stepped towards the gate.

Something was wrong.

"Stay there." He ordered as he inputted the code and entered the town, gun in hand.

You followed Joel with Ellie at your side. Heart in your throat as you studied the house closely. It all just felt wrong. The door squeaked open and you felt your heart leap into your throat as the empty house came into view.

"What the fuck?"

"Bill?" Called out Joel but he was met with silence "Frank?"

Still nothing.

"You stay there." He said to Ellie, before looking up at you "Ya hear anything, you see anything, yell."

"What if they're gone?"

You knew in your heart of hearts that the lack of presence from these two men was a bad omen. There was no way either of them had left this place.

You stepped studied the table and noted the rotten food that still sat there. Frank would die before leaving a mess. You stepped into the kitchen but you were greeted by nothing but the smell of rotten food. The smell was so strong that you ran for the sink, throwing up nothing but bile now.

"Ellie?" Called out Joel and you stepped back into the dining room to see the girl sitting there with a letter in hand.

Joel stood opposite her, a grim expression on his face.

"It's from Bill." She said as she picked up the envelope "To whomever, but probably Joel." She read before putting it back down again "I figured I fell under 'whomever'... Came with this." She said lifting up a car key.

"So they're dead?" He asked, his eyes darting up to you when you gasped at his question.

"You wanna?"

"Go ahead. You do it."

You stood there and listened as the girl read Bill's letter. Silent tears slipped down your cheeks as you started at the paper in her hands.

"I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep..." She trailed off, looking at Joel who then took the letter from her.

His shoulders tensed and you knew exactly what it said. You didn't need to read it to know.

"Stay here." Joel grumbled before stepping out.

"Should we go after him?" She asked you but you shook your head.

"No."

An hour later you were showering and washing the grime of the past two days from your skin. Joel managed to find some clothes for you all. Some jeans, a t-shirt and a flannel for you that now sat on the unit just outside. When you were done, your eyes fell on your pack, mind wandering to the item inside. You were sure you were just sick with stress but you wondered if perhaps it was something more sinister. Perhaps it was best to check.

You could hear Joel and Ellie as they pilfered the house for essentials. So you knew they wouldn't miss you for a little while longer.

You were sitting with Ellie when Joel emerged from upstairs, hair still wet from showering. His eyes raked over you a moment. Your knee bounced as you stared at your pack that lay on the table. You felt sick. Your stomach twisted in painful knots as you unconsciously picked at the skin around your thumbnail.

"Well, don't you look pretty." Ellie teased, pulling a smirk from you as you glanced up at him.

"Shut up." He grumbled, "Come on... time to go."

Ellie got up and skipped outside but you were slower to follow. Grabbing your pack, you threw it over your shoulder and started to make your way out, Joel stopping you when you reached him.

"You okay?" He asked and you nodded.

"Golden." You replied, giving him a smile that you knew was convincing no one.

Because the truth was you weren't okay... Far from it!

And you didn't know what you were going to do.

Next

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Tags: @hayley-the-comet @ajeff855 @mavericksicybabe @supernaturalgirl20 @dihra-vesa @nicolethered @practicalghost @theanothersherlockian @gallowsjoker @little-mrs-morales @sunnshineeexoxo @aliwritesfic @maryfanson @sherala007 @ayrusss @greeneyedblondie44 @elegantduckturtle @jediknight122 @goodgriefitsawildworld @voteforpedro09 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @mishasminion360 @giggly-otter @athalien @mssbridgerton @huitzilinthebudgie3 @samanthacookieone @salome-c @radcollectivesoul @pedrohoe04 @paintlavillered @ktmadden86 @hotchlover

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller the last of us #last of us #the last of us #joel miller gif #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal gif #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #last of us fanfiction

[scuderiahoney]

full disclosure i've been sitting on this thought ever since i first read blackbird but the amount of emotional whiplash i've been put through both from silly season and life in general has prevented me from stringing it into a coherent ask

but like i've been thinking about danny his little birdie getting matching blackbird tattoos on their leg and when they stand together it looks like the two birds are taking flight. thinking about how some of their favorite pictures are the ones taken on balmy summer nights, where the two of them are pressed together so close, where you can see the two little birds taking flight together, twin flames. and thinking about how it becomes the spot that danny always kisses when he's slotted between her thighs, the spot he worries his thumb over when they're pressed under the covers late at night. he doesn't even need to see it to know it's the right spot, the muscle memory is there.

-🌠

star babes. star, my love. star. i saw this ask this morning and it kept me going all day. i actually had a note while i was writing Blackbird that just said “stick and poke tattoos?” but i didn’t find a way to work it in, so this is perfect i love it thank you so much. adding a read more bc this got long.

i think they’d get the tattoos after they’ve been together for a bit, but tbh not that long? like maybe they’re hanging out over Danny’s winter break and they pass by a tattoo shop and she suggests it and he is absolutely all for it. like yeah matching tattoos are sort of a big deal but it’s not like they’re getting each other’s names, right?

they go in and start looking through the flash designs, and when Danny finds the little bird they’re both set on it. they hold each other’s hands through the process. it’s adorable. he’d get his on his left leg so it stands out, so it’s prominent and not hidden away in all the other ones he has. ugh i can picture them in the tattoo parlor, standing close together while the artist puts the stencil on so they can make sure they line up perfectly.

she’s always liked his tattoos, loves tracing them, but that one’s special because it’s hers, too, you know? and Danny… he’s got a whole photo album on his phone dedicated to her tattoo. some of the pics are sweet and innocent- her in shorts on a camping trip where you can see it peeking out, the picture from the tattoo parlor when it was fresh. but some of them are also for his eyes only. his hand around her thigh, the little birdie between his fingers, her in her underwear, the bird displayed prominently, hickeys and bite marks all around it. you get the idea.

in my head they go on camping trips together a lot. i think they’d sit around the campfire in separate chairs, but close enough that their legs are pressed together. he hates when it gets chilly enough that she puts pants on. definitely pushes the hem of her shorts up if they’re covering the tattoo just so he can see it.

can so see her kissing his thighs when she goes down on him and paying special attention to that spot. he does the same for her. and he def runs his thumb over it as he’s falling asleep, sometimes in his sleep. he swears the skin feels different. she’d call him crazy if he didn’t find the spot every time without even looking.

also i think eventually his nickname for her morphs into just straight up Birdie. and when she meets his friends/people in the paddock they’re surprised to find out that’s not actually her name. just a lil headcanon of mine. someone definitely asks if the tattoo is bc of her name and she’s like… “oh that’s actually not my name, it’s a nickname, but Danny has a matching one!” and he’s either pulling up his shorts or pulling down his pants to show his off

thank you for giving me an excuse to word vomit ab them i love Blackbird Danny sm

#box box #anon #🌠 anon #shootingstar scuderia #mutuals 💛 #dr3 x birdie!

[persephonememes]

* (  GUTS BY OLIVIA RODRIGO /  SENTENCE PROMPTS.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ i pay attention to things that most people ignore ❜

❛ i'm alright with the movies that make jokes about senseless cruelty ❜

❛ i feel for your every little issue ❜

❛ i know just what you mean ❜

❛ i make light of the darkness ❜

❛ i've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket ❜

❛ you know me ❜

❛ i forgive and i forget ❜

❛ i know my age and i act like it ❜

❛ i've got what you can't resist ❜

❛ i got class and integrity just like a goddamn kennedy ❜

❛ i'm a perfect all-american bitch ❜

❛ i know my place ❜

❛ i don't get angry when i'm pissed ❜

❛ i'm the eternal optimist ❜

❛ i scream inside to deal with it ❜

❛ i'm grateful all the time ❜

❛ i'm sexy and i'm kind ❜

❛ i'm pretty when i cry ❜

❛ haven't heard from you in a couple of months ❜

❛ i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up ❜

❛ i'm sensing some undertone ❜

❛ i'm right here with all my friends ❜

❛ i know we're done ❜

❛ i know we're through ❜

❛ my brain goes 'ah' can't hear my thoughts ❜

❛ i cannot hear my thoughts ❜

❛ i should probably not ❜

❛ seeing you tonight, it's a bad idea, right? ❜

❛ it's a bad idea, right? ❜

❛ fuck it, it's fine ❜

❛ yes, i know that he's my ex. but can't two people reconnect? ❜

❛ i only see him as a friend, the biggest lie i ever said ❜

❛ i just tripped and fell into his bed ❜

❛ now i'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans ❜

❛ i know i should stop, but i can't ❜

❛ i told my friends i was asleep but i never said where or in whose sheets ❜

❛ i'm sure i've seen much hotter men but i really can't remember when ❜

❛ how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about ❜

❛ i see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when i close my eyes ❜

❛ i loved you truly ❜

❛ you gotta laugh at the stupidity ❜

❛ i've made some real big mistakes but you make the worst one look fine ❜

❛ i've made some real big mistakes ❜

❛ i should've known it was strange you only come out at night ❜

❛ i used to think i was smart but you made me look so naïve ❜

❛ the way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me ❜

❛ bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire ❜

❛ every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad news ❜

❛ you're so convincing ❜

❛ how do you lie without flinching? ❜

❛ how do you lie? ❜

❛ what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill ❜

❛ i can't figure out just how you do it and god knows i never will ❜

❛ you went for me and not her 'cause girls your age know better ❜

❛ you said it was true love but wouldn't that be hard? ❜

❛ you can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart ❜

❛ i tried to help you out ❜

❛ i tried to help you out now i know that i can't ❜

❛ how you think's the kind of thing i'll never understand ❜

❛ aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell? ❜

❛ did i ever tell you that i'm not doing well? ❜

❛ i linger all the time ❜

❛ i linger all the time watching, hidden in plain sight ❜

❛ i try but it takes over my life ❜

❛ i see you everywhere ❜

❛ the sweetest torture one could bear ❜

❛ i'm losing it lately ❜

❛ i feel your compliments like bullets on skin ❜

❛ aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist? ❜

❛ my stomach's all in knots ❜

❛ you got the one thing that i want ❜

❛ people are people, but it's like you're made of angel dust ❜

❛ it's like you're out to get me ❜

❛ you poison every little thing that i do ❜

❛ i just loathe you lately ❜

❛ i despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you ❜

❛ i despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you ❜

❛ i don't think i get along with anyone ❜

❛ i'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke ❜

❛ i hate all my clothes ❜

❛ it feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones ❜

❛ so i guess i should go ❜

❛ the party's done, and i'm no fun ❜

❛ i broke a glass, i tripped and fell ❜

❛ i tripped and fell ❜

❛ i told secrets i shouldn't tell ❜

❛ i stumbled over all my words ❜

❛ i made it weird ❜

❛ i made it worse ❜

❛ each time i step outside it's social suicide ❜

❛ i wanna curl up and die ❜

❛ i laughed at the wrong time ❜

❛ i talked to this hot guy, swore i was his type ❜

❛ everything i do is tragic ❜

❛ the morning after i panic ❜

❛ oh god, what did i say? ❜

❛ when i'm alone, i'm fine ❜

❛ don't let me out at night ❜

❛ i'm shocked i'm still alive ❜

❛ i called you the wrong name twice ❜

❛ i want it, so i got it ❜

❛ another thing i ruined, i used to do for fun ❜

❛ another conversation with nothing good to say ❜

❛ another day pretending i'm older than i am ❜

❛ another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine ❜

❛ sometimes i feel like i don't wanna be where i am ❜

❛ i push away all the people who know me the best ❜

❛ it's me who's been makin' the bed ❜

❛ i'm so tired of being the girl that i am ❜

❛ every good thing has turned into somethin' i dread ❜

❛ i'm playin' the victim so well in my head ❜

❛ every night, i wake up from this one recurring dream ❜

❛ i read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control ❜

❛ i tell someone i love them just as a distraction ❜

❛ they tell me that they love me like i'm some tourist attraction ❜

❛ i got the things i wanted, it's just not what i imagined ❜

❛ i'm counting all of the beautiful things i regret ❜

❛ i'm pulling the sheets over my head ❜

❛ you're so good at what you do ❜

❛ you come for me like a savior ❜

❛ i'd put myself through hell for you ❜

❛ i fell for you like water ❜

❛ i couldn't get out if i tried ❜

❛ it was all in my mind ❜

❛ now you got me thinking ❜

❛ love is never logical ❜

❛ all the things you did to me ❜

❛ you lied ❜

❛ i'm sure that girl is really your friend ❜

❛ you said i was too soft ❜

❛ why do I do this? ❜

❛ i know i'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible ❜

❛ i know i could've stopped it all, god, why didn't i stop it all? ❜

❛ i met a guy in the summer and i left him in the spring ❜

❛ i wanna make him feel bad ❜

❛ i wanna make him really jealous ❜

❛ i really miss him and it makes me real sad ❜

❛ i want sweet revenge ❜

❛ i want him again ❜

❛ i want to get him back ❜

❛ i write him all these letters, then i throw them in the trash ❜

❛ i miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh ❜

❛ he said i was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth ❜

❛ i am my father's daughter, so maybe i could fix him ❜

❛ i wanna key his car ❜

❛ i wanna break his heart ❜

❛ he's not even gonna know what hit him ❜

❛ he's gonna love me and hate me at the same time ❜

❛ i don't know ❜

❛ i told my friends you were the one ❜

❛ i stayed in bed for like a week ❜

❛ when you said space was what you need, i waited by my phone like a goddamn fool ❜

❛ love's fucking embarrassing ❜

❛ how could i be so stupid? ❜

❛ you found a new version of me ❜

❛ what was i even doing? ❜

❛ i give up ❜

❛ i give up everything ❜

❛ i keep coming back for more ❜

❛ i have nightmares each week about that friday ❜

❛ one phone call from you and my entire world was changed ❜

❛ you took everything i loved and crushed it in between your fingers ❜

❛ i doubt you ever think about the damage that you did ❜

❛ i hold on to every detail like my life depends on it ❜

❛ i hear your voice every time that i think i'm not enough ❜

❛ i try to be tough, but i wanna scream ❜

❛ how could anybody do the things you did so easily? ❜

❛ i say i don't care, i say that i'm fine but you know i can't let it go ❜

❛ i've tried for so long ❜

❛ it takes strength to forgive, but i don't feel strong ❜

❛ i try to understand why you would do this all to me ❜

❛ i know in my heart hurt people hurt people ❜

❛ do you think i deserved it all? ❜

❛ you built me up to watch me fall ❜

❛ you have everything and you still want more ❜

❛ even after all this, you're still everything to me ❜

❛ i know you don't care ❜

❛ there's always something missing ❜

❛ when pretty isn't pretty enough what do you do? ❜

❛ i could change up my body and change up my face ❜

❛ i'd always feel the same ❜

❛ you can win the battle but you'll never win the war ❜

❛ fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure ❜

❛ i try to ignore it, but it's everything i see ❜

❛ i don't know why i even try ❜

❛ i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy ❜

❛ i chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life ❜

❛ none of it matters and none of it ends ❜

❛ you just feel like shit over and over again ❜

❛ when am i gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise? ❜

❛ when am i gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys? ❜

❛ when will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood? ❜

❛ i'm sorry that i couldn't always be your teenage dream ❜

❛ when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough? ❜

❛ will i spend all the rest of my years wishing i could go back? ❜

❛ they all say that it gets better ❜

❛ it gets better the more you grow ❜

❛ it gets better, but what if i don't? ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #meme #memes #roleplay meme #ask memes #lyric meme #lyrics #guts #guts olivia rodrigo #olivia rodrigo

[flowering-thought]

Another member of the Kawahara family that's been slightly anticipated is coming right up! I hope you guys enjoy <3

It feels a little short to me so sorry in advance if its a little shorter than usual- 😔

Not edited

WARNING - MINORS DNI

AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.

Yandere themes, mentions of gore, stalking, implied manipulation

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Takeo Kawahara

First Meeting + Headcannons

It hadn't been long since you had gotten a visa to work as a translator in Japan. Since you had a couple of languages under your belt, you became quite successful among your colleagues.

You helped translate some books and documents on occasion and that was only what you did at home for random assignments you got. Occasionally you had to go out for public clients and business meetings where a translator was required due to the differences in language barriers.

You quite enjoyed your job! It was fun to keep your language skills sharp and it was nice to help out others when needed.

Plus learning about a different culture while knowing the language was interesting and gave you things to do on your days off.

Sadly though there is the work culture of showing up to work parties and appealing to those who have worked at the company longer than you have that you didn't enjoy. Especially when they harassed you to drink.

It was another party and a few of your colleagues that didn't like you tried to invade your personal life while an older colleague "helped" by getting them off your back. But that one had been making uncomfortable comments about your body and image for a while now which is why you tended to avoid most people in your company.

So you pretended to get a call and made your escape from the restaurant outside. You were wondering whether to call a taxi or just take the train back to your place but unfortunately, that same colleague that defended you followed you out.

You hated putting on a smile to please others but you hated conflict more than anything. You heard him go on about how you'd look so much nicer if you kept up a smile and tried to get along with your colleagues more often and that he's "only looking out for you".

You were about to snap when you felt someone put a hand on your shoulder and pull you close, "Sorry I'm late! I meant to show up earlier but my client took longer than I thought." Said a voice. You looked back to see a man your age with a lit cigarette in his mouth. He quickly put it out before letting his grip loosen and gave you a small wink.

You somehow felt calm and kept up the smile, leaning into him and away from your coworker, "Thanks! I didn't want to walk home alone so this helps me out!" You claimed. Your coworker luckily took the hint and scattered, he was definitely going to gossip about this but you didn't care and let out a sigh of relief the moment he was gone.

"Sorry about that. Normally I wouldn't interfere but he looked sketchy. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my touching!" The man said, immediately letting you go and having a slightly panicked look on his face. You noticed he was handsome and from the looks of it, kind. You weren't used to someone actually bothering to help you out in that kind of situation so you gave him a genuine smile and gave him a bow.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. I've been struggling to deal with the whole work party since I joined so I'm really glad you helped out!" You claimed, reaching out your hand to greet him. He only smiled and shook your hand before opening his mouth. "Kawahara. Kawahara Takeo." He introduced.

You two went on your own way after he dropped you off at the station and traded Line information.

What you couldn't see after you left was Takeo cheering in his spot. He was so glad that he could finally talk to you. Ever since he bumped into you when you were late for a meeting a month ago he fell for you at first sight.

Turns out his stalking paid off if it made him get a chance to "meet" you naturally. But now he can't help but gaze into the distance and wonder if his eldest brother has some information on your colleagues.

He can't just watch you get harassed can he?

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Regular Headcannons

• Takeo is 24 and was born on November 23rd, making him a Sagittarius.

• Takeo is honestly a stalker with a slight delusional streak. He believes that you'll love him no matter what as long as you don't see the side of him that quite literally has a shrine of you in his apartment.

• Takeo is very outspoken and fun. He enjoys going places and doesn't hesitate to speak his mind or be honest.

• When he was in school with Daisuke he actually used to defend his older brother from bullies since Daisuke was quieter in nature.

• Takeo was what you would call a delinquent but he was a smart one and was high in the class banner in terms of grades. But he did skip class quite often.

• He's also an artist at heart. He enjoys sketching and painting. But something about tattooing something that someone will love on someone's skin makes him feel really fulfilled so it's the main medium he practices.

• But sometimes when you're on his mind too much he paints you or sketches you. He keeps all the artwork he has of you along with the shrine in his studio. He has a pretty decent apartment as he makes quite a bit of money half the time so he's confident you'll never come across the stuff he has that defines his obsession for you.

• Other than art his other hobby is movies. He loves to watch all sorts of films! He also seriously enjoys foreign movies which are how he begins to talk to you on Line to get closer to you.

• He starts by asking about some of your favorite movies from your country and asks for recommendations of things you like. And then if a new movie comes out that he's interested in watching he'll ask if there's any chance that you would want to watch it with him.

• And when you say yes he's always super happy. He's the type who cheers and jumps up on his bed when you agree to a date or meeting up. He honestly has a really optimistic view of love. You could almost call it innocent if it wasn't for his infatuation with you.

• And honestly? He's pretty gentlemanly! He opens the door for you and compliments you all the time and he's a big flirt.

• He's honestly pretty fashionable as well. Not as in he wears big brands and such but he likes to dress in a certain way and looks good doing it. He might also take you to some of his favorite places to thrift some clothes or furniture.

• He just loves to do things with you and show you the things he loves. He also loves to show you off to his friends and his friends respect you and him as well. And if you were to sew up his clothes when he gets into an occasional fight or bring him something you made for him to eat he might just burst into tears.

• He's a man that's well connected with his emotions and isn't afraid to show it. He's overall sweet and outgoing to you and those he loves.

Yandere Tendencies Headcannons

• While Takeo is sweet to those he cares about, it's the complete opposite for anyone else. He's cold and manipulative the moment anyone screws you over.

• If someone is talking behind your back he won't hesitate to get information on them from his brother ♡

• But if anyone touched you? Hurt you or otherwise? They're dead. He doesn't mind getting his hands dirty and honestly will make them disappear so naturally no one even suspects anything, not even you.

• He knows no one would suspect anything from him. He's very smart despite not always showing it. And he knows that his family is just like him in the aspect of how attached they get to those they come to love in a romantic and platonic sense. So he knows he can fall on them if he ever needs help.

• And Takeo is strong. He goes to the gym regularly and knows some martial arts. He honestly could take down guys two times his size if he really wanted to.

• He honestly slightly worships you but tries not to show it too much. He worries that he might freak you out and tries his best to not show too much of his unstable side.

• And when he worries too much he might text you a little more often to make sure you're okay. He may even be like Daisuke and ask for one of those couple apps that track each other.

• One thing Takeo doesn't like though is blood. He doesn't like to touch it and doesn't like to mess with it. It has to due when Daisuke got attacked by a dog. When he saw his brother bleed like that he just couldn't help but grow a slight fear of it.

• So while he enjoys getting rid of others and is fine if it's others that bleed, he prefers to not get it on his skin.

• And if you bleed? Even if it was an accident or just a scratch he'll go into a full-on panic. He'll start hyperventilating and hold onto you so tight you can hardly breathe. He might attempt to call emergency services and it's the only time he actually shows how unstable he can get-

• But when you calm him down and reassure him his panic will reduce. He just can't help it when it comes to those he loves. Yeah someone can bleed on a tattoo but that's different! That's something that's controlled and concentrated. And people choose to go through that. But when you get hurt or a scratch hell disinfect the fuck out of it and wrap it up like it's some sort of infection that you're suffering from.

• Just make sure to reassure that you're alright. He gets a panic attack whenever something like that happens to you.

• Though if you get sick? He will mother you back to health and invade your home to make sure you're okay ♡

• He makes your food easy to eat and carefully takes care of you. You're his so he needs you to be okay-

Takeo worries. He can't help it when it comes to you so don't worry him too much or he might just hold on and never let go ♡

#.takeo_kawahara_♡ #soft yandere #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #chubby reader #yandere hcs #yandere male #yandere male x reader #yandere headcanons

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || eight

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

sorry for the late chpt. I was really sick so i tried my best on this chpt. next chpt will be longer, i promise.

warnings: some level of chae-young attempting infidelity, swearing

wonwoo came home to find yn passed out on the couch.

"you okay?" - wonwoo

"i need sleep. i've been stuck at school finishing my final project and i just finished. now i have to worry about the stupid reunion in two days. i have no dress and i look like a zombie. life is great." - yn

"go take a shower. i'll get the guys to help you. jeonghan has connections." - wonwoo

the word shock wasn't enough to describe the look on everyone's faces when yn and wonwoo walked in through the door.

some background information: in the one week before this gathering, yn had completed her pieces for the museum, her final project for university and all her outstanding commissions. her exhibit had been very successful and she had earned quite a significant amount of money.

"yn. is that your boyfriend?" - aunt

"yes. this is jeon wonwoo, my boyfriend." - yn

"nice to meet you, my name is jeon wonwoo." - wonwoo

"yn-noona... isn't that the streamer gameboi? you're dating Korea's number 1 [game name] player?" - younger cousin

"no way..."

the whispers in the event room got louder and louder until the people she hated finally came towards her. it was evident that chae-young was gawking at wonwoo. she didn't even bother to hide her lovestruck expression from her husband.

"so this is the new guy you have, huh yn." - mother

"good morning, i'm jeon wonwoo." - wonwoo

it seemed like he had to repeat himself often today.

"what's your net worth?" a disrespectful question right off the bat was expected and both yn and wonwoo had prepared for it.

without missing a beat, wonwoo simply smiled and said, "14 million. I am sure that I have enough to take care of yn for the rest of our lives."

the jealousy that clouded chae-young's face was the best thing that yn had ever seen.

sitting at the table was very awkward because they were surrounded by whispers and glances.

“so wonwoo. what do you work as?” chae-young’s husband was actually a very nice man. he was always kind to yn and her brother and was the complete opposite of his distasteful wife.

“i’m a gamer. i’m currently in talks of joining [fictional korea no.1 pro gamer team]. that deal closes before june,” - wonwoo

“ah i see. what about you, yn? what are you working as now?” this question was on everyone’s mind. some with ulterior motives.

“up until thursday, i was a museum part-timer and finishing university. but i recently managed to sell many of my art pieces and have made quite a name for myself in the past three days. in case you all didn’t know, almost every artwork in this building was made by me over the last 4 years.” - yn

the room was silent. you could hear a pin drop and wonwoo couldn’t help but smile to himself.

let’s walk through the real train of events.

after the “fake-dating” agreement, wonwoo, minghao, mingyu and dokyeom had helped yn move every piece of her artworks over the years to minghao’s studio to sort through them. it took them almost 30 hours to categorise. by monday, they had organised the auction within the museum, an exhibition for her other works and an online bidding website for exclusive works. from tuesday to thursday, the auctions and exhibitions opened.

every one of yn’s artworks sold for incredibly high prices. this particular hotel that the family reunion was, had purchased a significant amount of said artworks.

“you mean you painted that painting of a phoenix?” - uncle

“i did that 2 years ago.” - yn

“and that ceramic heart? that was you?” - aunt

“yes.” - yn

wonwoo could not help but smile at yn’s nonchalent bragging. just then, a hand reached across to tap his.

“so~ wonwoo-oppa~ how did you and yn meet?" chae-young began to blatantly flirt with wonwoo while her HUSBAND sat helplessly beside her.

“i commissioned an art piece from her and fell in love at first sight.” wonwoo forcefully took back his hand before leaning closer to yn, earning a scowl from chae-young.

yn was’t exaggerating when she described all of chae-young’s antics.

here’s a list of the things she tried but failed to do. seduce wonwoo, yn’s “boyfriend”, spill water on yn, pretend that yn stepped on her foot on purpose, claim yn slapped her.

how embarrassing.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

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tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae @hyuckxtagram

#caratsland #wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo smau #seventeen headcanons #wonwoo fluff #seventeen imagines #svt fluff #wonwoo scenarios #svt x reader #dino x reader #dk x reader #hoshi x reader #jeonghan x reader #joshua x reader #jun x reader #svt #svt masterlist #svt smau #jeongcheol #seoksoo #soonhoon #verkwan #junhao #gameboy #kpop #seventeen reactions #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader