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#Been a sec since I’ve last drawn these two
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Who would win: FNAF rabbit virus or one sleepy boy?
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mauesartetc · 2 years
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Redesigning High Guardian Spice (Part 1)
Yeah yeah, I’m severely late to this party and I know this shit’s been done to death by now. But lately I’ve enjoyed listening to Guardian HQ’s video essays in the background while I’m working, and it’s pretty fascinating just how much this single show got wrong, from both writing and visual standpoints. I haven’t even seen the thing in full, but it seems the numerous critique videos on Youtube have made most of the key plot points and character details available to us. Besides, what I’ll be talking about today doesn’t have nearly as much to do with the writing as it does with the art direction, and you don’t need to know the story to realize the visuals aren’t much to write home about.
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Is it out of line to say everything in High Guardian Spice looks kinda bland and generic? There’s a logic behind the character designs’ basic construction, but the art style in which they’re drawn doesn’t know if it’s going for an anime-type look or a more westernized, cartoony vibe. It awkwardly treads water between the two camps, unsure of where to swim in order to find its own unique identity.
This made me think back to Teen Titans and Avatar: The Last Airbender, two other Western-produced animated shows with heavy anime influences. What made these shows stand out when High Guardian Spice doesn’t?
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Teen Titans revamped familiar comic book characters with a slick, angular flair, adding highlights to their hair and outfits to give them some extra pizazz. Avatar, meanwhile, rejected the anime tropes of shiny, candy-colored hair, oversized eyes, and outlandish clothing, opting for a more naturalistic look based on real cultures and locations. The anime fingerprints are apparent in both cases, but each show embraced stylistic experimentation and moved away from stereotypical design elements associated with the art form.
So how exactly does High Guardian Spice experiment with its visuals? Well, uhhh... I really can’t say. We know the main characters went through multiple iterations, but some fairly prominent creature and prop designs come off more like first drafts.
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They really couldn’t have given us anything more creative than generic fantasy dragons, generic fantasy staffs, generic fantasy orbs, a purple blob with a face, and a hastily put-together platypus bunny? (I mean he’s cute and all, but still.)
“Uninspired” is the perfect word to describe these choices. There’s extremely little effort put in to make this fantasy story look and feel different from every other fantasy story the audience has experienced before. So what can we do to make the world and characters stand out?
Let’s discuss color for a sec. This show has the same problem as some Vivziepop designs in that there are too many hues representing a single color. Looking at this screenshot and the swatches in the lower right corner, it’s clear the palette’s kind of all over the place. 
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After sampling each of these colors with the eyedropper tool, I noticed that literally every single one had a different H (hue) value on the RGB spectrum. That’s over nineteen different hues in this image alone! It’s especially noticeable in all the disparate yellows, reds, and oranges. We can create a much more focused palette than that.
At first I considered using Francisco Goya’s witch paintings (since, y’know, magic and stuff) as reference for color palettes, but then I had a massive “duh” moment. The show’s called High Guardian Spice, so why not use colors taken from spices?
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This reduces the master palette from dozens of hues to six, from which we can adjust values and saturation based on each character’s needs.
Here’s something else that bugs me:
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Why are Snapdragon’s pupils drawn differently from the other main characters’? Snap’s family members appear to have the same eye style, but is there a story-based explanation for that? I thought the characters might belong to a non-human species, but no, that’s not the case. So what the fuck? Did the creator just think “Oh yeah, this pupil style looks good on this character, so I’ll use it for them and absolutely no one else because reasons”. Screw it, let’s apply these pupils to all the characters for more consistency between them, as well as a more pronounced departure from the standard shiny anime eyes we’ve seen a million times before.
In terms of overall art direction, I pondered which kinds of art could serve as inspiration for a story about witchcraft. How ‘bout these woodcuts from when European paranoia around witches was at its peak?
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Look at all the interesting textures in these prints. This kind of hatching could easily set High Guardian Spice’s characters and environments apart from the crowd. And is that some potential Neppy Cat inspiration I spy? I believe so.
Anyway, this post has almost hit the image limit, so join me for Part 2, where I put these ideas into practice.
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yeehawbvby · 1 year
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Falling Away With You | Ch. 19
Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit
Chapter Summary: This one is a bit info-heavy, involving a long talk about magic stuff between you and Ras, so it might be boring. 
I apologize for that ヽ(;▽;)ノ I hope y’all like it anyway! x
Author’s Note: Friendly reminder to refer to the last chapter for a visual of this version of Rasmodius!
Btw - I use “foreign” as a descriptor, but in reality, this version of Ras is supposed to have an English accent. I’m not sure what the Stardew equivalent to England is, if there is one ^^”
Table of Contents + Work Summary
Check it out on ao3!
Prev | Next
As Magnus leads me into the main room, he grabs two large red cushions off a shelf to the left. In front of it is a huge cauldron, brewing something green and sparkly. On the other side is what I can only describe as a seance circle, with various objects scattered around it. We keep going until we reach the fireplace and he places our seats on the ground.
“As you can see, I’ve not much room for furniture. I hope this is alright.”
“It’s perfect!” I sit on what has to be the fluffiest cushion I’ve ever felt, promptly getting cozy.
“Would you like anything to drink? Some tea, perhaps?” He sounds nervous. “Forgive me if that’s no longer customary. It’s been a while since I last hosted a mundane such as yourself.” 
A mundane? I shake my head. “You’re doing fine,” I assure him, not bothering to ask what he meant. “Tea sounds great.” Ever since drinking the tea Sebastian made me after I broke down in front of him, I’ve been so into that dumb leaf water. 
I fidget with the hem of my shirt, watching Magnus’ elegant movements. He brings out a kettle, two mugs, and some tea bags from a cabinet, filling the pitcher in a nearby sink. He then boils it with his bare hands. As humanoid as he is, I guess he might truly be one of those elementals I’ve read about… I wonder if magic is a learned thing, or if he was born with it.
He glimpses over — given his constant ability to know where I am, I fucking guess, he probably knows I’m observing him. I feel my cheeks flush at the sudden attention, but he offers a kind smile.
It feels wrong to feel so fuzzy around this guy, but something about him is so… captivating. I shake the weird thoughts from my head, deciding to study the multicolored flames in front of me. Feeling thankful they’re pretty enough to distract me from the flips my stomach is doing. And also because it’s cold in here. 
Magnus approaches with our drinks, and I softly thank him before stealing a sip. It’s cinnamon-y and vanilla-y, with baby hints of pepper in it. Maybe a spiced chai latte sort of thing? Either way, this is nice. 
“Good?” the wizard next to me pries, now cross legged on his own cushion. 
“Mhm,” I smile. I want to ask so many questions, but something keeps holding me back from speaking.
“I’m sure your thoughts are plentifully occupied, at the moment. If you have any inquiries, please, ask away.” Good timing.
I think for a sec, trying to figure out where to start, before settling on this: “You called me a mundane before. What’s that?”
“In short, the mundane are any living beings without innate ties to the arcane.” He tangents slightly, “Although, one may grow connected to the elements — hence, why you were so heavily drawn toward my abode over time.” How’d he know I was? Did he do that himself, somehow? “It was the spirits themselves that urged you here tonight in particular, I assume.”
…Uh-huh.
I’ve always been more of an atheist than anything, using the spirits and Yoba and whatnot as figures of speech more than anything. Y’know, like astrology and whatever the fuck. Are these spirits he’s talking about real? Or is he just full of shit? I probably shouldn’t be doubting it, considering his ability to produce flames from thin air.
“If a mundane was not birthed with the ability to cast spells,” he goes on, “or to communicate with the land and air around them — if it becomes something that simply just happens over time, if ever — then that is the factor that separates a mundane from a full-fledged elemental.”
I nod slowly, honestly appreciating the over-explanations. It’s rare that peop–humans, god it feels weird referring to them as such an “other” now, ever get so detailed with me. Given how much I often need such directness to be able to understand someone, it’s really nice. Maybe it’s because he’s not entirely a human? Or maybe he’s just more like me, specifically, than I’d assumed with all this fantastical shit going on.
“So how do you know that I’m not an elemental as well, if you think I’m so tied to magic?” I ask.
“Well, the appearance of an elemental is much more unique than that of a mundane. Dwarves, elves, goblins, and shadow people, amongst other ‘monsters’ that go bump in the night, are all elementals. A mundane adult is harder to separate from the elementals such as myself, as opposed to mundane children, given many of my kind are so human-like. For example, a mundane’s dyed hair may not revert to its natural state…” 
I immediately think of Abby and Sebastian. I wonder if they know about any of this? 
“They may receive a tattoo, only for the ink to change colors or shapeshift in select situations or over time. A stretch mark or section of cellulite present in the skin may shape itself into a rune, and embed itself as a darker and more permanent scar or indent than the rest. The possibilities are endless, with some more subtle than others.”
Magnus takes a sip of tea and clears his throat before continuing. “However, with all of that said, those of us who are more adept in our abilities can typically just tell who belongs to which category of being. And as I’ve implied to you already, I can sense the link to the spirits brewing within you, young (y/n). A strong one, at that!”
Magnus smiles proudly as he speaks, as though he’s eager to teach me about all of this. It’s obnoxiously endearing, but oh my fucking god this is a lot to take in… 
I just wanted to go on a fun, late-night expedition to see what was here. Not to have a crisis over my spiritual and magical connection to the universe. I don’t have anything overtly weird going on with my appearance, like he said I might. I wonder when my signs will show, or if they ever will show. 
I take a deep breath and a sip of tea, eyebrows scrunched, gears working hard in my puny little mundane brain.
“I apologize for the abundance of information. It is not my intention to cause distress.”
“No, you’re fine,” I sigh. “It is a lot, but I appreciate you being so willing to educate me.” I place my mug on the ground in front of me. “This isn’t one of those stereotypical…” I deepen my voice as much as I can, and try to match his proper, foreign accent, “‘You have powers, now you have to save the world!’” I revert back, “...kinda things, is it?”
Magnus laughs, “It may not be now, but one can never know for certain.”
I nod. Mentally crossing my fingers that it’ll never become that way. “Why do you keep calling me ‘young?’ You don’t look much older than me.” 
“I’ve been alive for centuries, actually.”
“No fucking way!” I snap a hand over my mouth. “Sorry. Bad habit.” When have I ever apologized for cursing before? Why am I so hellbent on impressing this guy?
Shaking his head, Magnus smiles mischievously. “Apology accepted.”
“Wait, so how old are you?”
“Oh, I’ve lost track.” He lazily waves his hand once in front of him. “I cannot even remember my true name. I took this one up as a young apprentice.”
“So, it’s some anime style, ~higher being~ in a younger human body sorta deal?” Removing the cup from his lips, damp from his drink, Magnus tilts his head a little and furrows his brow. “What is an ‘anime’?”
I should’ve known he wouldn’t be one for pop culture references. I vaguely wave, dismissing the subject. “Nevermind. Did you do, like… ‘normal’ human-like things before you started doing all this?” 
He shakes his head. “If you mean to ask if I went to school or had a corporate career, then no. My entire upbringing revolves around the arcane. My studies mainly included reading about the history of magic around the world, and familiarizing myself with grimoires.”
That sounds fun, honestly. Much more fun than anything I learned in grade school or college.
Next!
“How does someone know if they have this connection that I apparently do?”
“They more often than not are believers in the elements to begin with. One might figure it out for themself over time, as they notice the magical presence in the world around them. Some might also just stumble upon it, as you did, while others never learn at all.”
That makes sense. 
Next! 
“If the town rejects you so much, why do you stay?”
“I’m Pelican Town’s – well, all of Stardew Valley’s – assigned protector, appointed by Ferngill Republic Ministry of Magic. With the presence of so many monsters, it is necessary that I maintain a powerful barrier over the valley at all times.”
I stop my onslaught of questioning for a moment to internalize that.
This guy is the sole reason we’re safe from monsters and shadows and whatever other – dare I say, evil – elementals there are out there? 
Holy fucking shit, he���s so cool!
But also… “Isn’t that tiring?”
A flash of pink takes reign over Magnus’ widened eyes, but only for no more than half a second. Is he embarrassed?
Come to think of it, he must get really lonely over here. I wonder if he just needs a friend, and created that weird energy I feel around the perimeter himself to lure in those “worthy” of his companionship. Unless that was just a me thing…
Or, maybe I’m thinking too far into this.
I quiet my thoughts quickly in hopes that he didn’t just read me. Magnus’ surprised expression turns into a soft smile, and his irises fade to a melancholy periwinkle. “I suppose it is a lot, at times, yes. But no need to worry, I assure you that Pelican Town will remain safe.”
“No, like, what about you, though? Is it safe for you to be using so much energy like that all the time?” Is mana a real thing? I think to myself.
“Don’t fret,” he sighs. “I’ll be alright as long as the valley is as well.”
He doesn’t get that I’m asking how he is, I don’t think. “Doesn't it get… I dunno. Frustrating?” I meet his eyes again, my brow furrowed. “Being isolated here, while also being in charge of the safety of the same people who reject you… ” I trail off.
Magnus looks down, seeming to internalize my question. As he pans back up, his orbs deepen into more of a navy blue. I wonder if he’s aware that his eyes are fucking mood rings.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to pry,” I mutter, a little embarrassed. “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about that sort of thing.” I’m just worried about you, a complete stranger, for some reason.
A rumbly laugh emits from him, eyes returning to their natural (I think I’m more confident in calling the burgundy-ish “natural” now) state.
“I’d never have thought a mundane such as yourself could be such a kind and caring individual. Not many are.” 
I’m about to ask what he means by that, not sure if it’s more of an insult or an observation, but his handsome, playful smile shuts me right up. I can feel my cheeks darkening.
“It’s alright,” he continues. “Everything you’ve asked is valid, and I do appreciate your concern for my well-being. It’s merely that I cannot remember the last time someone asked me about myself like this.” Magnus sighs. “Must’ve been when I was still seeing my ex-wife,” he mumbles, seemingly more to himself than me.
Although he’d vaguely mentioned how old he is, it didn’t occur to me that Magnus might’ve had friends and relationships prior to being basically shackled to the valley. 
Before I realize how blunt the question is, I blurt out, “How often have you been married?”
He answers, unfazed, “Just once. She’s a witch — one of the most powerful I’ve ever met, at that. But we grew apart, and she fled, channeling her heartbreak into the dark arts.”
“Has she ever been a threat to the valley?”
“Of course not. She resides quite locally – she’d never risk her own safety in heated vengeance.”
My eyes widen, half-shocked and half-kind of excited, honestly. “One of my neighbors is an evil witch?” I shouldn’t be surprised I guess, considering I now know that one of them is… ya know. A fucking wizard.
Magnus chuckles, “‘Locally’ doesn’t necessarily mean within the visible terrain of the valley itself! Although, there is a portal near the train station which only she can access, for the time being...” 
“Y’all have portals?”
“We have plenty you don’t know about, (y/n).” 
His face almost looks smug. Is this his way of bragging? He has a stupid lopsided grin, lazy eyes, furrowed brows... The ol’ razzle dazzle. Heh. The Rasmodazzle. 
He sure is razzling my dazzl— Shut up (y/n).
Wait.
“Can you— no.” I wince. “Have you been reading my mind?” 
“Here and there, yes.”
Fuck. “Isn’t that a bit invasive,” I wince, “Like, for someone you’ve just met?” 
Magnus’ eyes widen and flush pink. “I hadn’t thought of that… the magically inclined who can use the ability often do, as a means of communicating. Telepathy, as you’ve likely heard of it.” Holy shit… is Sebastian actually telepathic then? “I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable.” 
“You’re fine, I’m more just worried about what you’ve… read? Heard?” I tilt my head. “Whatever.” I shake my head. “However that stuff works.”
His eyes deepen, a dark red — not as much angry as it is devilishly sexyyyuhhhh–suspicious! Yes, suspicious is what I was thinking — nudging the blush that once painted his irises down to his cheeks. 
“Are you attempting to hide anything in particular, (y/n)?” 
My own heated features probably give me away, as I mentally smack myself for being so easily flustered. I shake my head, hoping he just knows the answer to the previous one without needing me to explain it. Or not. I guess I’d rather he just… not bring it up if he does know he’s razzling and dazzling me. 
“Oh, I almost forgot that I came here for a specific reason. I have a question for you!”
“Have you not been asking questions since you’ve arrived?” 
“W-well. Yeah. I guess… But like. Agh,” I stumble for a moment, finding my bearings. “Compared to what we’ve been discussing, this seems so pedestrian,” I sigh. “So. For some background. I have this friend. Well, she’s not my friend, but I want to be her friend, because she’s friends with my friends, and I’m not great at making friends myself, unless they’re the ones, like… Initiating friendship? If that makes sense.”
Magnus nods along. The corner of his mouth quirks up as I struggle, but he kindly chooses not to overtly judge my fumbling. I look down at my lap.
“She likes the idea of adventures and sword fighting and exploring and stuff, but from what I hear, she’s not a skilled enough fighter to do anything with that passion. So… I was hoping to take her on a little tour around this area, and uh…” as I near the whole point, I shy away. Do I ask? 
Without looking up, I hear the soft hums of Magnus’ laughter beside me. “You want to accompany her to my tower.”
I timidly nod. “I just thought it would be cool, before I knew there was a whole person living here.” I correct myself, “Er, well, I figured someone would be living here, obviously, and I came to ask permission, but I, like, didn’t think I’d be getting to know them or whatever, and umm…” I screw my eyes shut, frustrated by my lack of social abilities. Fucking hell lady, use your words! I try to keep going but a signature squeak escapes instead.
“Please spare yourself,” he muses. I squeak again. Fuck me. ”Perhaps I’d allow it, under the condition that you assist me in return.”
“How?” I mutter, feeling more able to use my words, but still rattled enough to struggle.
“Would this…acquaintance of yours happen to be young Abigail?”
I meet his eyes. I should be unsurprised that he knows considering telepathy and whatever, but— “Yeah,” I respond curiously. 
“Ah, perfect!” Magnus beams. “I would like to meet her.”
I squint, wondering what in the world he could want with Abby. 
“I mustn’t get into detail,” he continues, eyes fading to pink, “but in short… Ahaha, this is strange to say aloud.” He laughs nervously, recuperating as I patiently wait for the explanation. “I have reason to believe that she may be my daughter.” Magnus’ now-maroon eyes are filled with an anxious determination as he brings contact back to my features.
I stare, slack-jawed. “W-what do you mean? What about the family she lives with?”
His eyes shift back to blue again. “I just… wish to speak with her.” I study him, his features more crestfallen than nervous at this point. Magnus sighs. “It may not be my place to insert myself into a life she’s already established. But the possibility that she is my own blood has been eating away at me for over two decades, (y/n).” 
The melancholy passion in his voice tugs at my heart a lil’ as he speaks. 
“I had, to put it lightly, a fling with Abigail’s mother up until a few months prior to her birth. It seemed to be no more than a coincidence, in the beginning, as she’d already been in an established relationship with Pierre.” He mumbles a bit, “Granted, I had not known about this, and I put an end to things once I made the discovery, but that’s beyond the point,” rolls his eyes, and then continues normally. “Now, aside from the Spirit’s Eve festival, which I collaborate with Linus to prepare and disassemble each year, I opt to merely observe town events from where I likely will go unnoticed. You have witnessed so much yourself, at this year’s Flower Dance.
“At first, this was to ponder my theory with a more ‘hands on’ approach. But the longer I watched, and the more I learned about each villager, the closer of a connection I felt to Abigail. The older she became, the more she began to look like myself. I began to predict that she might have a weak arcane spark within her.
“Whether I am correct or not, I desire to meet with her up close. All it would take is one encounter, an exchange of few words, for me to truly sense whether or not my suspicions hold true. And if they are not, I will have no reason to commune with her further, nor will I introduce her to the arcane.”
I purse my lips, thinking before giving him an answer.
How do I know Magnus is not actually just some creep with the hots for her? Well, I have no way of knowing, but I trust him for some reason. I’m not friends with Abby yet, might never be, but it would feel wrong to put her in danger even if so.
Plus, if he’s right… god, she would probably think this is so cool.
Or, if she has an inherent distrust for women, she might view it more like an elaborate scheme against her. I don’t fuckin’ know how her brain works. Hmm…
“Okay,” I sigh. He looks shocked, but happy. “But, can we pretend we don’t know each other, whenever this happens?”
“Of course.” His brows are furrowed as he tilts his head ever so slightly. “May I ask why?“
“I’m worried she might think it’s some weird set up. Which I guess it kinda will be, now… but I don’t want her to think I have bad intentions.”
“I understand your concern.” He grins and exclaims, “Very well!”
Given how long I’ve been here, I use this ending conversation to see myself out. We agree to meet again soon, so I can possibly begin some magical training of sorts, and to plan out a good way for me to woo Abby – Magnus voiced his desire for my side of things to work, even if his own fails. 
After a warm goodbye from the wizard, I shut the door and begin my trek home. He’s in my head again for one last parting message, as I descend down his front staircase. I stop in place so he can “say” his piece. I dunno the range this shit has. Like, is it similar to bluetooth or something?
“There are many adventures ahead for you and I. I truly look forward to your company, (y/n).”
I smile, thinking to myself about how excited I am, too.
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starlitangels · 2 years
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Hey. It’s Me
I refuse to care about Blake but I sympathize deeply with his listener 1.0k words This is in a very different format than usual, I think. Bear with me. @zozo-01 Thanks for listening to me ramble about this one, as always!
Compose New Message To: Blake😴💭 Hey. haven’t heard from you in a while. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay. How’s everything been? Life treating you well? Let me know!
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Seen 3:44AM
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Compose New Message To: Blake😴💭 Is everything okay? No one’s seen or heard from you in, like, two months. I’m starting to get worried. I know you saw my last text. You never could turn off your read receipts without my help. Are you hurt? Has something happened? Blake, please. Text me back.
Send
Sent Delivered 10:27AM
Compose New Message To: Blake😴💭 Hey. Look, you have every right to be mad at me, okay? That fight last week was my fault just as much as it was yours. I’m mad at you too. But I don’t want one stupid fight to end our friendship. Over something that doesn’t really matter. Just… text me back, when you have a sec, okay? (And, if you were wondering, no I am not drunk. I’ve never drunk-texted an ex before and I’m certainly not going to drunk-text you after a fight. I know this text is late but I couldn’t sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well lately and the fight just made it worse. I keep staying up thinking of things I should have said. Things I shouldn’t have said. Wondering how things could have shaped up differently if both of us had kept our cool.) So yeah. Text me back when you can. Please, B. i’m sorry we fought. Maybe we can try to make up?
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Sent Delivered 2:56AM
Compose New Message To: Blake😴💭 B, you’re starting to scare me. Please just text me back. I’m not worried anymore. I’m *scared* What’s going on with you? Are you okay? It’s been three months. Please stop ignoring all my texts. I’m just trying to help
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Sent Delivered 9:13PM
“This is Blake, leave a message.” Beep!
“Hey. It’s me. You’ve been ignoring my texts so I figured I’d give you a call. No one’s heard from you in a while. I even asked your parents. They’re worried too. All of our friends keep laughing at me that I’m still even trying to reach you when obviously you don’t want to be reached. Just… call me back when you get this. Please? I’m worried about you… bye.”
Boop!
Call Ended
“This is Blake, leave a message.” Beep!
“Blake. It’s me again. Stop freaking me out, man. Just answer your damn phone. I’m scared that something’s happened to you. And obviously you haven’t changed your phone number because it’s still your voicemail message. Just… talk to me, B. Please! I just want to help you. If I can. But I can’t if you won’t talk to me.” Deep inhale. Long, drawn out sigh. “Just… call me back when you get this. Please. G’bye.”
Boop!
Call Ended
“This is Blake, leave a message.” Beep!
“Hey. It’s, uh, it’s me again. It’s been six months since anyone’s heard anything from you. I keep trying but… whatever. You’re ignoring me. If it’s something I did—besides that fight—that caused you to start ghosting me and everyone else, you could at least be man enough to admit it to me. I can’t change something about me that makes you uncomfortable if you don’t tell me what it is, B.
“And if that’s not it… just talk to me. Literally. Just text me a single emoji to let me know you’re even alive. I’m scared.
“But, Blake… effort without any form of payoff is exhausting. You know that as well as I do. I’ve been reaching out for months, trying to make sure you’re okay. And you’ve been ghosting me. And everyone else. Some of our friends we’re not as close to, sure, I can understand you not keeping in touch with as well. But me? After everything we’ve been through together—I hoped I meant more than this to you. But… apparently I was wrong.
“I guess I just valued our friendship more than you do. That’s okay.
“Listen, Blake. If you’re gonna keep this up, then… I hope the life you found treats you well and you’re happy. I’m too tired to… keep going with this. I still care about you and consider you a friend but… I… I don’t know.
“Um… go ahead and lose my number. This was my last attempt before I lost yours. Just… I don’t know. Have a nice life.
“Goodbye, Blake. I’m sorry. For… anything and everything that I might have done to push you away.
“... Goodbye.”
Boop!
Call Ended
A deep breath. A long exhale. A single, warm tear.
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Two Weeks Later…
The sound of someone entering my dream made me jolt and whirl around. A familiar head of short, spiked, dark, reddish-brown hair stood there. Unnaturally vibrant teal eyes hid slightly behind dark lashes under a somewhat sheepish expression. Hands tucked into the pockets of jeans. Shoulders curled forward, head hunched.
“Hey…”
I glared at Blake. “Get out,” I snapped, hands already forming the shapes I’d need to boot him from my mind with magic.
“No—no. Please. Don’t… don’t send me away. At… at least not yet. I’m…” His voice quivered and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry that I came into your dream like this without asking; but I… I didn’t know how else to reach you. I know that we fought and I know that you’ve been mad at me but… please… will you just hear me out? One last time?”
I clenched my jaw and continued to scowl at him. “Fine.”
“Thank you.”
29 notes · View notes
pansyfemme · 2 years
Note
jude! would like to ask! how difficult was it to deal with the recovery phase right after top surgery? did you ever feel nervous or scared or anything? what are some things you realized only during recovery that nobody told you about?
Hey hey hey!! thanks for asking! The recovery was both better and worse than I expected. The first week, it’s rough to say the least. This is when you still have drains and a surgical vest. The surgical vest is not like a binder. I often hear it reffered to as similar but it is not. A binder is made of flexible, stretchy fabric and pulls over your head, so the pressure is even across your entire chest. A surgical vest is made of stiff fabric and is VERY tight. You can not walk normally, you are hunched up due to how tight the vest is. You’ll get used to it but it’s annoying at first. You’re gonna sleep a lot during the first week. I had pain meds every 2 or so hours for the first week. This involved my parents and i waking up four different times thoughout the night- but I experienced pretty much no pain bc of it! (I was also offered opioids but I only needed over the counter stuff) After the first week, I had my chest reveal. It doesnt look that nice at first. Its bloody and bruised and theres all kinds of drainage and its GROSS. And you dont get to clean up. you can wash around, but dont get water anywhere near ur nipple grafts. those need to be constantly covered and moisturized. I had to wait another two weeks until i could shower i think. But that first shower feels GREAT lol. Ur in bandages and need to change ur dressings twice a day but just seeing ur chest is like the relief of the century. Also. note on the drains! theyre not supposed to hurt coming out but mine definitly did! Just know going into it its gonna be a month or more post op until you have that relief of being able to walk around with nothing under your shirt. As for anxiety, i happen to not be afraid of surgery. I’m chronically ill, and have been transitioning for a while so i’ve already had a few small surgeries. But i did feel a bit anxious. my family woke up at 4 in the morning, and made it to the hospital at 5. Then its like every time ive been in the hospital. a lot of waiting. Like every twenty minutes or so more nurses come in and take different measurements. The most tedious parts are getting ur IV in and getting your chest drawn on. I have troubles with my veins sometimes, so i had to be pricked a few times but that was the most pain i felt the surgery day. As for the drawing, this is when i was super nervous. While it was awkward, I actually had my parents stay in the room while he was examining me because i was so scared. It takes maybe 20 min? it also feels rlly weird but my surgeon was super understanding and even drew smily faces on my chest so i’d calm down. Then after that,, it was time. I actually stood up and walked to the operating room, its not that moment on tv of being wheeled in, you walk in and lie down and the nurses help you through it. We talked for a minute but as you know, ur out like 2 secs later so it doesnt rlly matter. When i woke up, i was just relieved and happy.
Sorry to burden you all with more shirtless pics but most of the unexpected stuff was with the cosmetic bits so i need to show you what i mean. Ok so for starters, I’m 5’4, abt 200 pounds and had a cup size of 38-40G last time i measured. On top of that, since i have been on testosterone and horomone blockers, I have gone through menopause, causing my breasts to have a very high skin elasticity (very stretchy, loose skin) I dont have any pre op pics nor do i ever want any, but just think a large, saggy chest with heavy stretch marks on the top and bottom of my breasts. Yeah its weird but its important. Those stretch marks dont disapear. Keep this in mind if you have scarring or strech marks on your breast tissue. It will be relocated, not gone.
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see the coloration on my chest? relocated strech marks. Theyre deep purple and indented- theyre very visible. you can also see the faint white ones under my incisions- those were the ones underneath my breasts.For me, its not an issue, but I wish i had seen even one guy with similar results! i had no idea they would be so visible!! second, i want to show you how my fat moves.
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see how i still have tissue in my armpit area, causing bulging? for someone my size, this seems kinda natural. I still have tissue on my chest, enough that i can kind of cup my tissue a bit and its squishy, but it appears flat when looking straight on. You can also see my drain scars!! please remember you will have drain scars!!! most ppl overlook them but they can sit a number of places, mine happen to fall along my incision line. its a very deep purple and looks more visible then the rest of my scars. Next, look how my incisions reach up into my armpits instead of stopping at the side of my chest. theres also only abt a fingertips width of space between each scar. this is normal for a big chested person, but ppl dont rlly adress that!! The final bit is nipple coloration. You may lose or gain pigmentation. You cant see rlly in the photos but i lost partial pigmentation on one of my nipples. its a small difference but i barely ever see it mentioned! Finally. When they say ‘losing nipple sensation’ they dont mean ‘not as sensative as before’ they mean ‘feels numb to the touch’ idk why i thought it meant they wouldnt feel like nippls but like.. touching ur arm or something but nah its numb. You will also get random nipple pain sometimes and it is weird lol. If you have any more questions lmk!
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binniesthighs · 3 years
Text
hello stranger | reader x changbin |
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WELP here it is, my totally self indulgent reader x binsung fic that has developed into so much more than I expected!! thank you lovelies for hyping me up to write more of this story ily!! hehe we are indeed in for a spicy, angsty, and fluffy time!! You can read part 1 here
Part 2  
Paring: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung 
Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst, 
Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!jisung, rapper!changbin, artist!reader, established fwb!jisung, explicit language, oral (f receiving), that good, good makin’ out,   sub!reader, cockydom!jisung, on that note, jisung being horny as hellll, the cutest bestfriend!felix there is, changbin’s flirty ass, a sprinkling of angst, ro being in her fanfic writer element uwu 
Word count: 3.1k
Chapters 
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3
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[00:19] 
han jisung: you like the performance? 
you looked stunning. 
where did you go? i couldn’t find you. i even stayed after. 
[00:28] 
me: oh really? just for me? 
han jisung: you left something at my place last time, I was going to give it back to you. 
me: that’s why you wanted to see me? i don’t believe you. 
[00:36] 
han jisung: are you doing anything right now? 
╚ ——————————————— ╝
Against the heat of your sweating body on the matted quilt, a winter chill seeped in through the wooden windowsill, dusty with age. Had you not been burning with heat, you would have been freezing. Fistfuls of the quilt filled up your hands, and your fingers dug into the fabric hard enough to make your nailbeds change color. You hadn’t even noticed that you had been slightly grinding into his mouth. 
“you taste so good baby,” Jisung’s breath swirled into your swollen clit.
A tiny squeak escaped your lips at the sensation.
Both of his arms had curled under your legs to pull them farther apart, lending his nails to dig lightly into your skin. He chuckled out pridefully onto your sensitive bud, the vibrations heightening your arousal. Jisung kissed gently into you with the luxurious sounds of your excitement and his saliva mixing on his lips. His eyes held a mischievous green haze as he would look up at you with his big brown eyes, flattening out his tongue to lick at you in thick, agonizing lines. At last, he would suck and on your clit, flicking his tongue around it sporadically, as if he was giving every nerve ending his complete attention.
The way that he would suck on your clit was unreal.
As if to balance yourself, you raked one of your hands instinctually through his nearly black strands.  
“Ji--” You choked out half of his name, too weak to summon the rest.
You were impossibly close. With eyes scrunched up a little, they rolled up from his taunting gaze to your ceiling.
On the shitty paint job up there, there was a crack. It was an ugly crack at that: the kind that was browning from water damage and segued into other tinier veins. Your apartment was old anyway. It wasn’t uncommon for old apartments like that to have cracks in the ceiling.  
You hadn’t really recognized it before.
Why haven’t I noticed that before?
“fuck, you’re so wet for me, aren’t you?”
“Mmhm.” You focused back on his lapping tongue, feeling the tension build once more. “ ‘M close.”
Jisung quickened his pace, sucking harder and rubbing the tip of his tongue over your mound. You could even feel the little haughty smile on his mouth when your hips jerked up toward him.
As you neared your orgasm, memories fogged your eyes, you let them roll over and over, relishing in how good it had all felt. Suddenly you wanted nothing more than to feel filled up hopelessly deep inside.
“f-fingers” Your whispers begged.
Jisung obliged, sliding his index and ring in to pump in and out of your walls.
Perhaps you had made it up to feel better than it was in your head.
You came a couple minutes after, limbs shaking under his teasing while he helped you ride out your high, tongue still circling around your clit. Shallow inhales filled up your lungs as you calmed your body.
You didn’t remember it feeling like that...you remembered it being...unreal.
Jisung lead kisses up your stomach before giving a couple fleeting kisses to your breast, smug as he always was.
“-Felt good?”
Little aftershocks still tugged at your body. “...As always Ji.”
“Mm. Good.” He beamed widely with the pearly white grin that had drawn you to him in the first place. “I’ve been thinking about this all day.” Jisung tugged his boxers down, letting free his properly hardened member, veiny and tip dripping with his eager pre-cum. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
Jisung prowled over your body, stretching out your legs up in front of him.
Your thighs shook in his hands.
“Jisung, wait--”
“--What is it?” Worriedly, his eyes widened looking down at you.
“...can we give it a sec? Can you give me a sec?”
His puzzled expression gave you his answer.
“I just fucking came Ji, can’t you give me a damn minute to settle down before we go at it again?”
His mouth formed a little “oh” then he slid down to lay beside you, brows crossed slightly. “...you’ve never asked for this before.”
“just shut up and kiss me alright?”
Jisung nodded, bridging the gap between your faces and the mess of pillows under your heads.
When Jisung wasn’t trying to fuck you, he was actually a decent kisser. Against your better judgement, there had been times when you would let your mind linger over these kisses that you had wished he had given you more of. His mouth was warm, and tasted slightly of your arousal from before. Jisung’s tongue asked for permission on your bottom lip, which you granted entrance. He leaned himself further into you, moaning breathily into your mouth. Just because you liked how he would whine for you, you pulled at his lip with your teeth.
You don’t know why your eyes had opened, but there it was again. The crack.
How long had it been there?
╚ ——————————————— ╝
“I just can’t believe you, Y/n.”  
Felix’s voiced echoed though the empty alley, your favored shortcut to campus. Dumpsters covered with snow lined the road riddled in potholes. In each hole, melted snow had leaked in to turn to ice once more. Felix had already slipped three times. Both of your arms linked together to make him feel better.
“How many times are you gonna make me apologize? It ended up being fine anyway.”
“When I say to text me when you get back, what are you supposed to do?”
“Text when I get ba-- “
“--Text when you get back!!!” The little puffball on Felix’s hat bounced in his frustration. “You couldn’t even text me to tell me that something had happened? Do you know how nervous I was?”
“Felix, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Does that do it?”
Your adorable companion grimaced at you, unamused. “I just think that I’m more astonished that you actually stayed over. What the hell did he offer to you? Food? Money?”
“Felix!!” You shoved him away from your body in your dramatic shock. “How dare you think that I would stoop that low!”
“...Well...”
“HEY!”
“You know how I feel about Jisung.”
“He’s not Jisung...that’s for sure.”
“You know about them Y/n. You yourself have said that they’re all the same.”
“Cocky, overzealous dickheads who know exactly what to do with their mouths?”
Felix rolled his eyes coupled with an annoyed groan under his breath. “You know that’s not what I mean.” He huffed out his breath into the freezing air. “His presence didn’t nauseate you?”
“I was tired. I honestly don’t remember falling asleep, I only remember waking up before the sun came up and leaving.”
“-Didn’t even say goodbye? See you again? Your phone number?”
“I don’t plan on seeing him again.”
“You don’t?”
“He...looked at me weird.”
Felix let out a flabbergasted pshhhh, which turned into a startled little gasp when his foot caught the ice. As always, you were there to catch his falls.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That he looked at me weird! What the hell else is it supposed to mean?”
“Care to expand?”
It had been four days. Four days that had felt much longer than four days. Four days since he had looked at you like you like you were the only person to ever live and breathe. You knew what was in his eyes. It was something you hadn’t truly felt on your body for a long time.
“You’re perfect.” He had said to you, barely knowing more than your name.
In your lusty haze that night, you had said something about being all his.
You barely knew more than his name.
In the days after when you recalled the whole night, searching for answers to why you had said what you had, no explaination pieced together. You hadn’t belonged to anyone in such a long time, and you certainly didn’t belong to him.
He had asked to know you better, but you kissed the words away on his lips before he could say any more.
Your body shivered placing the memory of his fingers tracing up and down your back as you had studied his features, the two of you still connected.
You turned to your friend, “No. Because there isn’t anything more to talk about. He looked at me weird, and I’d rather not see him again.”
“~Oookay then~” Felix nuzzled into your arm. “You working today? Can you make it Chan’s after? We’re gonna play some Smash and there’s a new DLC!”
“-Can’t make it, I’ve got some projects to work on.”
“School or the other kind?”
“Both. My new paper should be coming today.”
“Suit yourself...but we’ll miss youuuu.” The peppy blonde squeezed hard where he held onto you, only to have his feet fall out from under him on the ice.
You quickly softened his fall, holding his body up before his butt would hit the concrete. “I don’t think that I’m the one that you should be worrying about ‘lix.”
╚ ——————————————— ╝
From your favorite corner of the library, the sun would shine the brightest at sunset, and luckily, often your scheduling would let you see it. Sometimes you liked to think that you owned it in this little corner on the fourth floor. Better yet, it was situated near the stacks of old newspapers and periodicals so seldom did this corner see anyone else other than you.
The shelf was nestled near to one of the floor-length windows which overlooked the skyline. At this time of year nearest to the aftermath of Christmas, the city lights were still peppered with greens, reds, yellows and blues. You thought to yourself that there was nothing more magnificent than the way the sky would fade from the color of blood oranges to the depths of the ocean with the dawn. You had painted it nearly a hundred times, but each time you were left unsatisfied; it was impossible for your hands to recreate something so unique.
Standing this close to the glass, you could feel the winter cold emanating off of it.
“--Beautiful right?”
His voice had startled you, and for a moment you had thought that you had imagined him.
“‘Kinda thing makes me wanna write.”
He walked up right next to you, hands in his pant’s pockets. A billowy looking black hoodie wrapped around his body and his gaudy silver chain peeked from under his collar. You shouldn’t have expected him to look directly at you. He still wouldn’t give you the pleasure until you demanded it.
Silently the two of you stood watching the sun dissipate beyond the horizon for what seemed like hours. Just as you remembered, his massive aura was nearly suffocating. There was something new however: the scent of rosemary and cedarwood which hung around him.
At long last, he muttered, “You didn’t give me a chance to see you off.”
You swallowed dry. “What are you doing here?”
“You gonna answer my question first?” From the corner of his eyes, his stormy pupils teased you.
“You first.” You straightened yourself best you could.
“My roommate goes here. I was looking around for him. Your turn.”
Changbin took his hands out from his pockets to intentionally twist the silver rings around his fingers.
“I work here.” You answered, opting to finesse your way out of answering his question by answering yours.
“Huh. You’re a librarian?” He scoffed out a single laugh. “Why do I find this slightly ironic...considering where we met.”
“I just move stuff around. Ever heard of a part time job?” You clenched out the words between your teeth.
“Oh believe me, I have. Got a few myself. It’s what I get for choosing music over school.”
“How honorable.”
“I’m a man of honor...as you know.” His eyes finally cast down at you.
Frankly, your memory must’ve been shit, because he looked even more unreal than you remembered.  
“Actually, I’m kind of glad that I ran into you here. What a coincidence, huh?”
“--Sure.” You quipped.
Changbin tilted his head with a growing smirk. “Knees feeling better?”
“They’re fine.”
“Good thing that I was there to help you.”
“You don’t have to pretend like you’re talking about my knees Changbin.”
You turned to walk away, only for him to twist himself around into your path.
“You’ve got me.” He rose his arms up in defeat. “Since I didn’t get your number, I didn’t get the chance to tell you--” Changbin’s body mass leaned ever so slightly closer to you, his dark eyes glossing over with that same confidence that he held so naturally. He breathed into your ear, “I really enjoyed our time together.”
His words send a shiver down your entire body that you prayed he didn’t see. You took a hand flat to his chest to remove him from your space.
“D-don’t you have a roommate that you should be finding?”
“Libraries are big places. Plenty of places for me to get lost...”
He advanced again, cupping a hand to the side of your face and rubbing his thumb into the soft of your cheek.
There he was, looking at you again like that. Had it not been addicting, you would have been terribly annoyed by it now.
Changbin tilted his face nearer, his lips just barely grazing over yours. Something about his scent made you feel like you were enchanted.
“Have you been thinking of me as much as I have of you?”
He sucked in a sharp inhale, then sealed your lips with his. He took both sides of your face in his hands, holding on you with such a dire grip it was as if he felt like you would melt into nothing in his hands. Every run of his lips over yours was different from the last; but the way in which he poured himself into it all was the exact same. He used his full weight to push the two of you into the metal shelf, bracing the back of your head so you wouldn’t get hurt. Changbin pressed his body into you fully, nearly engulfing you with his broad chest. There was nothing else in his kisses besides pure, unadulterated desire.
Four days since he had kissed you. Four days that had felt much longer than four days.
Hesitantly, your hands twitched at your sides, deciding to hold him back. You hadn’t noticed, but his own hands had fallen from your face to cascade down your arms to wrap them around him himself. Under the fabric of his hoodie, you could feel every single curved muscle. Before you could explain it, your fingers traversed all around the expanse, drawing in all the pieces that your brain hadn’t thought to commit to memory. The second that you did, he smiled into your mouth.
“So you have.” His husky tone spilled into your ear after he gently broke from your lips.
Changbin moved to kiss at your pulse at your neck, leaving you to tremble under his fluttering movements. Your teeth bit into your lip as to not produce a sound; your fear of someone walking round the corner only made you more anxious and thrilled. He pulled the collar of your sweater down to increase the pressure of his mouth, drawing little whimpers from your throat.
“Changbin, what are you--”
Before he could do any more damage, he pulled back, putting your collar right back in place. Between the two of you, your exasperated little gasps filled the air. Slowly, he run his thumb over your slightly swollen lips.
“I meant it, I’d like to get to know you more.” He swept your hair back with a couple fingers.
“I was planning on not seeing you again.” You gathered up your will again.
Changbin tsked, “That wasn’t how you kiss someone you don’t want to see again.”
You pulled his hands from off your face. “I should be going. And you should too.”
“You’re unbelievable.” He scoffed with disbelief.
You really were. Just from kissing him, you had felt how inexplicably wet you had become. Every part of your body ached for just a little more, and you could have it. But you wouldn’t let yourself. He didn’t own you.
“Need me to show you to the stairs?”
“No.” He spat out the word. “Don’t walk away from this.”
“Who are you to tell me what to do?”
“I thought that I just made myself pretty damn clear.”
“--As did I.”
“No, you didn’t.”
Changbin strode up to you, the little thin chain on his pants swaying.
“Give me your number.” He said in earnest. For once, you saw his confidence falter.
“I said, I don’t plan on seeing you again.”
“--Then I’ll give you mine. You don’t even have to use it and I can’t reach out to you, how’s that?”
“You’re acting like I’ll want to.”
He exhaled out cooly, “Why the hell else would you kiss me like that?”
Why did you kiss him like that?
You reached out from your back pocket to slide out your phone. “Don’t expect anything. I’ll probably just delete it after long.”
He typed in the numbers, then grinned, announcing, “I doubt that.” Once done, he pulled your collar back up just a little bit higher to fix how it had become askew on your frame.
He sighed with finality, toying with his rings once more. “I think that I’ve been lost in here long enough.”
╚ ——————————————— ╝
[01:47]
han jisung: are you doing anything right now?
Your pencil clicked down to your desk with a wooden little thunk. The state of your room was a mess; not like he would have cared. Back at your desk, you glanced down at your unfinished sketch and the scattering of watercolor paintbrushes and paints. During the late hours of the night, your brain would get hazy, and your inhibitions would likely smear like the little pools of blue watercolor accidently spilled on your desktop.
Your tired fingers typed out the word “no.”
Outside of your tiny window dusty with age, you could still see a bit of the twinkling of lights on the cityscape. During the night, they looked like a rainbow of stars reflected upon the night’s ocean.
Your tired fingers deleted the word “no”, then opened a new message. For a moment, you hovered over the keyboard.
[01:49] CB
You really were unbelievable.
me: are you doing anything right now?
194 notes · View notes
elliesguitarstrings · 3 years
Text
Here For You
Masterlist
Peter Parker x reader
Summary: Peter comforts you after you reveal your struggles with depression to him.
A/N: Sorry it’s taking me so long to write part 3 of Silence but I promise it will be out soon. I’ve just had a rough couple of days so I wanted to write something that kinda reflects my feelings atm. I know that a lot of people are feeling the same way as I have been, so I’m just putting it out there that I am always open to talk if anyone needs help :)
Warnings: fluff, mentions of depression and suicide, language
~~~~~~~~
You let out a long sigh as you close your computer after the last class of the day. You’re exhausted, you have a pounding headache, and you don’t have a single shred of motivation.
When all of this COVID stuff first started, you didn’t mind doing school from home. To be completely honest, you actually loved it. You didn’t have to talk to all the annoying people in your classes, you could do a large portion of work on your own time, and you had an excuse to stay in your room all day. What’s not to love, right?
Wrong.
After a few weeks, you started to see how terrible it all was. You had to teach yourself everything because your teachers had no clue what they were doing (and they still don’t). You started to get distracted easily. And the worst part: every single fucking day was the same.
You lost all motivation to do anything.
You’re smart, one of the smartest in your class, actually, but your grades were dropping rapidly. You lost track of assignments, turning them in so late you didn’t even get half credit. You procrastinated like crazy, dreading every single day. You stayed up late every night, trying to finish assignments and get back on track. But nothing was working.
You want to change so badly. You want to be one of those girls who keeps a bullet journal with fancy colors and letters, who plans out their entire day with a checklist, who stays on top of their work, and who actually has the motivation to get up out of bed each morning. But you can’t and you aren’t, and you don’t know why.
Plus, right now you were on your period, which was not helping things. At all. You hate feeding the stereotype of girls being all emotional and unstable during their periods, but it’s true. Well, for you at least. When you’re happy, it’s like you’re bouncing off the walls. But when you’re sad, it’s like you’ve fallen into a 300 ft deep hole and you’ll never get out.
You crawl into bed and start sobbing, the only thing you can do right now. You just want it to be over. All of it.
Suddenly, you hear a knock at your window. Your shades are drawn, but you know exactly who it is. It’s Peter. He goes patrolling around the city after school, but he always comes to check on you first, seeing as you’re his girlfriend and all.
You know that if he sees you crying, he’ll want to help you, but the last thing you want is to be a burden on him. Plus, you only started dating a few months ago, and you didn’t want to drive him away by getting all emotional around him.
“Just a sec Pete, I’ll be right there.”
You run to the bathroom and splash some cold water on your face, trying to get rid of the redness and puffiness in your eyes. You pat your face dry with a towel, put on the best smile you can muster, and run back to your room.
You draw back the curtains and open the window, allowing Peter to slip into your room.
“Sorry it took so long for me to get to the window, I um, just woke up from a nap,” you apologize, shutting the window back while he takes off his mask.
“Don’t worry about it! But didn’t school end like 10 minutes ago? How did you fall asleep so fast?”
“Oh, um, my last class got dismissed early, so I was actually done like 30 minutes ago,” you lied, hoping he doesn’t notice.
“Oh, okay, well I’m glad you got some rest. You need it.”
Smiling, Peter stretches his arms out towards you and pulls you into a tight hug, kissing your forehead.
Just that small amount of affection is almost enough to make you burst out into tears again, but somehow you manage to hold it in.
Until Peter pulls back, looks you dead in the eyes and says, “What’s wrong?”
“What? N-nothing’s wrong Peter, I’m perfectly fine.”
“No, you aren’t. I can sense something’s wrong, so just tell me.”
“Peter I swear. Nothing’s wrong! I’m fine!” your voice is shaking.
Peter folds your hands into his, “Y/N, please. I know something’s up. Just tell me.”
That’s when you lose it. You fall back into his arms, sobbing even harder than before. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen. But there’s no stopping it now.
Peter holds you tight while you cry, letting you bury your head into his chest. He doesn’t ask any questions just yet, he just holds you.
After a few minutes, the tears let up enough for you to pull away, looking at Peter with red, swollen eyes.
“I’m sorry Pete, I’m so so sorry. I- I didn’t mean for that to happen,” you stutter between sobs.
“Y/N, no, no, it’s okay. You can let it out.”
His voice is soft and comforting, and it does actually help you a little bit. He pulls you into another tight hug, repeatedly kissing the top of your head while you continue to cry.
“Come here, lets sit down, okay?” he pulls away slightly.
You nod weakly, and he guides you onto your bed. You both sit down, facing each other, and he takes a hold of your hands.
“Peter I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a burden, you should go do your patrolling, I don’t want to hold you up – “ you start, but Peter cuts you off.
“No, you don’t need to be sorry. And forget about my patrolling. I’m staying here until you’re better, however long that is.”
You smile weakly, to tired to even fight on it.
“Do you want to talk about it? Only if you’re comfortable though, you really don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Peter questions.
You look at Peter for a moment through teary eyes. He was here for you, ready to listen to you and help you. You were hesitant, not wanting to spill all of your feelings out on him, but you’ve already gotten this far, so why not.
“Yeah, sure, but can we cuddle?”
“Of course baby, whatever makes you comfortable. But let me change first, I’m drenched in your tears,”
You chuckle lightly. Peter always knows how to make you laugh.
He changes into a sweatshirt and sweatpants that he left at your house and climbs back into bed with you. He pulls you close to him, and you snuggle into his arms.
“So, talk to me, what’s wrong?” he asks softly.
“Are you sure you want to hear my problems? I really don’t want to be a burden Pete,” you respond, still crying.
“Baby, I’m here for you. I want to help you and make you feel better. That’s what I’m here for.”
He really is the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.
“Well, um, okay. It’s just, I don’t have any motivation to do anything. Not even to wake up in the morning. Even just the simplest tasks seem so difficult, and I feel like I can’t do this anymore Pete. I just can’t do it.”
You start to sob once again, and Peter pulls you into him even closer. He lets you cry and slowly calm down for a few moments before responding.
“Shit, I’m sorry Y/N. I’m so so sorry. I had no idea you felt like that. I mean, I knew school was bothering you, but not to that extent. But please, please please don’t leave me. You mean so much to me and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you,” now he’s starting to cry.
You lay there, Peter’s arms wrapped around you, holding you as close as humanly possible to him, both crying your eyes out.
“Y/N, I’m going to help you. I’m going to do everything I can to help you. Because losing you isn’t an option. So tell me what I can do to help.”
“Thank you so much Pete. You being here Is honestly the best thing you can do right now.”
You snuggle into him, engulfed by his warmth and comfort.
After a long silence, you look at him and smile, genuinely this time, “You know, even though I’ve been sobbing nonstop basically since you got here, just being with you has already made me feel better than I have all week.”
Peter looks back at you and cups your cheek, pulling you in and kissing you softly. Although the two of you had kissed many times before, this one was different. This was pure love.
You pull away, “Peter?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Of course baby. I’m here for you always. No matter what.”
You both smile, going back in for another kiss, much like the last.
This time Peter pulls away forehead still resting against yours, “Y/N, promise me you’ll never leave me.”
“I promise Pete, I promise.”
You snuggle back into his chest, your tears finally diminishing. Although the past few months had been absolute shit for you, Peter had always been there. And you know he always will be. He makes everything better, and you couldn’t be happier to have him in your life.
The both of you start to doze off to sleep, tired from all the crying you had been doing for the past, well, however long it’s been.
Before you fully fall asleep, you whisper, “I love you Peter.”
“I love you too, so much” he whispers back.
And in that moment, you are truly happy.
~~~~~~~~
Taglist (if you want to be added, removed, or changed on this taglist please comment or send in an ask!)
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Peter Parker: @blizzardbabe 
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bad-bitch-beauchamp · 3 years
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Songs About Me
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Alright, here we gooooooooo! My very first fic! I have the first three chapters written out. This will definitely be drawn out, so stick with it! Lots of fluff, lots of angst! Inspired by Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo. You can also catch me over on Twitter @ tessaactually.
READ ON AO3
“What do I even wear to something like this? Jeans? A sweater? Fuck, Geillis, I can’t believe you talked me into doing this.” Claire tossed her phone to the middle of the bed. With her hands on her hips, she stood in her closet staring at all the clothes that wouldn’t work for tonight. Things were strewn from the doorway of her bedroom across the floor, up onto the bed, hanging off the dresser from hangers, and into the closet that led to her bathroom. Geillis Duncan, one of Claire’s best friends, had started a tradition of going on Friday nights. Geillis was always the life of the party with her outgoing personality, uncanny ability to read just about anyone, her fiery red hair swinging as she danced regardless of what song was playing. In Geillis, Claire found a soulmate. Someone to dance with, someone to laugh with, someone to drink with, someone to be truly best friends with. Sometimes, though, their ideas of a good time differed. Tonight just happened to be one of those times. 
 “Stop thinking sae hard. Maybe after a few drinks, ye’ll have a little more fun, aye?” Geillis responded hopefully through the speakerphone. Having more fun is indeed what she promised herself she would do, so she’d go out with Geillis -- damn her -- and try her best to have a good time tonight. It sounded like a nightmare, but she’d try. She’d try to have fun. Memories of the days when she made that vow to herself came flooding back unbidden, and she sat in the middle of her bedroom floor next to a discarded cardigan as she slipped into an unwanted reverie. 
When Claire left Oxford College five years ago and gave up studying medicine, nearly everyone she knew tried to convince her she was making the biggest mistake of her life. Classmates staged interventions, friends tried to reason with her, and her professors pleaded with her to not waste her talent. No one was quite as angry as her boyfriend at the time. Claire expected frustration, sadness, maybe a little resentment, but never anger. 
“I don’t think I can keep doing this, Frank. I really don’t.” Tears pooled in her eyes as she sat slumped on the floor against their bed. Raindrops ran down the windowpanes, thunder cracked the sky. 
“I truly don’t understand how you could be so selfish! You have the talent for the coursework and the money to go here and you’re just, what? Going to through it all away?!” Frank stood across from her, forearm braced on the wall above his head. It was going on two hours since he had looked her in the eye. Claire sniffled in the background. Frank’s fist came to the wall with a sound rivaling the storm raging outside. His storm was not over. 
“Don’t you think I’ve thought this through? I have a plan. I’m going to take the rest of my savings, maybe move back to the states and…” Her voice started to break then. Frank spun around on his heel to finally look at her, to really look at her. His chest was heaving, 
“And what, Claire? And do what with your life? What about the life we planned together?” He stomped toward her, shaking the floorboards under her body as she clung to her knees. When she looked up, tears starting to fall from her lashes, he dropped to his knees in front of her, grasping for her hands. Claire finally saw more than anger. She finally saw the fear he was trying to reign in but quickly losing control of.
“I’m figuring it out, Frank. I’ll figure it out. We can figure it out. Maybe… maybe I’ll finally open up a greenhouse. You know how much I’ve always wanted to do that. Please, I… I can’t keep going on like this here. I’m so worn down and I can’t -- I know that I can’t -- survive it here another year.” The tears fell. She had been bottling up these thoughts for three years, and couldn’t hold back any longer. “Please, say you understand. Say you love me. Say you support me.” The teardrops turned into rivers. “Say you love me.”
For a few moments, Claire wondered if he had heard her pleas through her wrecking sobs. Finally, Frank let out the breath he was holding, letting his shoulders slump. He dropped her hands without ceremony. He ran a hand through his ordinarily perfect hair. He sat back on the floor, one knee bent up and the other outstretched. His arms reached behind him to hold him up. He just, stared at her. 
She was jolted. She had expected outrage. She studied him as best she could through her swollen eyes and water-stained glasses. Everything was silent. The room they had shared for the past three years, was silent. Absently, she noticed the thunder and lightning and pounding rain had stopped, leaving only an occasional trail of water down the old glass windows. With every second the sky turned brighter shades of purple and pink and orange with the impending sunset. On a different day, maybe in a different place, she might have appreciated their beauty. Instead, she noted the silence. 
Looking back at Frank then placing her face in her hands once more, she pleaded one last time: “Please say you love me.”
Frank blinked. 
In one swift motion he was off the floor and moving toward her. She heard the old floorboard creak. She felt the air whoosh around the room with his movement. She waited for him to reach her. 
“Claire. Look at me.”
Ah. Not moving toward her after all. Standing in the doorway with an air of having concluded a business dealing, Frank was watching her with not a single trace of emotion. Claire’s head rose. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and glanced his way with a smile, until she saw where he stood. 
“I have never been so disappointed in you. Goodbye, Claire.”
Frank took a breath and looked her up and down, from wild curls to curled up toes. Claire opened her mouth to speak. Frank closed the door behind him as he left. Everything was silent. 
Claire shook her head, making her curls bounce like springs. Geillis was still talking but hadn’t seemed to notice the lack of responses coming from the other end. Claire pulled herself up and tried to figure out what Geillis had been talking about. 
“... They’re really sweet and kind and they’re really great about buying ye more than a few drinks, plus they’re fellow Scots and just the nicest! I mean, sometimes they’re a little rowdy, ye ken, but I think that’s what ye get when ye go out with Scots --” Geillis was rambling, and Claire didn’t have the foggiest idea who she was referencing. 
“Hold on a sec,” Claire tugged an oversized oxblood sweater over her head. “Okay, fill me in again, please. Who did you invite tonight? I thought this was a girl’s night out after a long week!” She tugged on a pair of black faux-leather leggings, bracing on the dresser for balance and she began to tip over. 
When Claire left Oxford, she moved back to Boston into her uncle’s old brownstone. Although her Uncle Lamb died during her freshman year at school, he had left her a hefty inheritance. Claire and her uncle were each other’s only family and when he died, he left her everything he had. In his will, he left Claire a note that simply read, “These things are only things, my dear. Use them to follow your dreams, however you may see fit. Love you always, Lamb.” Everything he left her gave her a home in the states far away from everything she wanted to leave behind in England, and the means to start her own little greenhouse in a tiny historic shop in Beacon Hill. After her two closes friends from Oxford graduated, they both ended up in Boston with her. Joe Abernathy was going his residency as Mass Gen, and Geillis had come to do the same until she saw Claire’s shop and declared, “Fuck it, this is way more fun.” She helped in the shop with supplying a small zero-waste shopping section for patrons interested in doing more to protect to earth. 
Geillis giggled like a school girl when she started describing the friends she had invited out with them that night. “Weel first there’s Angus. Remember him? I went on a date with him two weeks ago to Seven Ales, ken?” 
“Oof, wasn’t that the one you got blackout drunk with?”
“That’s the one, dearie! And a braw time it was! I mean, I assume it was because I don’t really remember the wee hours of it if I’m being honest.”
“Shocker. Who’s next?” Claire kept Geilliss on speakerphone as she rummaged through a pile of shoes in the corner of the bedroom. 
“Och, that’d be Rupert. I went out a week ago to Cheers and met the guy who made me laugh until I fell off the barstool?” She giggled to herself at the memory. 
“Oh yes, I remember that one. He actually sounded pretty decent.”
“He’s a right sweetheart! Angus is as wheel, just a wee bit more crass, aye?” Claire could practically hear her winking through the phone. 
“Alright, that’s not too bad. I can handle two more besides you and me and Joe. I’m actually getting excited for tonight! This week at the shop has been a lot.”
“Agreed, babe. I’ve got tae go, but I’ll meet ye there? Eight o’clock sharp, I want to get our names put in for karaoke!” 
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seanfalco · 3 years
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Want | Priest!Kay x Reader {Part III}
Fandom: Season of the Witch Modern!AU Word Count: 2.3k Warnings: Catholicism, Religious imagery, Angst, Infidelity  (I’m also not Catholic, so hopefully I haven’t made any glaring errors.)
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Kay stood by the sanctuary doors under the pretense of greeting his parishioners, but really he was searching for one in particular.
He’d barely been able to eat or sleep since their mid-week lesson, [y/n]’s confession of feelings leaving him conflicted and distracted, barely getting this week’s sermon prepared on time.  Unsure what he would even say to her when he saw her— he knew nothing he could say would make things alright, not after he’d rejected her, but that didn’t stop him from just wanting to see her.
But when her fiance and his parents walked in, [y/n] nowhere to be seen, his heart dropped to his stomach, sharp disappointment filling him til he nearly couldn’t breathe.
“No [y/n] today?” he asked as he shook the others’ hands, keeping his voice carefully neutral.
“No, she’s not feeling well today,” Matthew answered.  “She’s been feeling off for several days now actually.”
“Poor dear, hopefully it’ll pass soon,” his mother murmured and Kay nodded, watching them as they took their seats, a frown twisting his lips.
What were the odds that [y/n] was actually sick and not just feigning illness to avoid him?  His stomach churned at the thought, but he made his way dutifully to the altar to start Mass.
If he thought it was hard to concentrate when [y/n] was out in the congregation watching him, this was even worse, his thoughts continuously straying to what she was doing, and if she was alright.
He ended up losing his place several times and by the end of the service he felt so anxious he thought he might be ill himself.  He idly thought about calling her from his office to check on her, but it wasn’t as if she’d be likely to answer, and there was no way he could just show up at her apartment — that’d be incredibly inappropriate, besides, what would he even say?
He already knew there was nothing he could say, though he wanted to.
Shaking himself from his thoughts, he noticed someone enter the confessional and he sighed, heading that way.
This is your duty, get yourself under control, Kay, he told himself, opening the door to the priest’s compartment and took his seat.  Through the latticed partition he couldn’t tell exactly who was on the other side, and his thoughts returned to the other day.
“I’ve been having… impure thoughts.”
He shivered at the memory, his mind wanting to chase that line of thought to speculate what sort of sinful scenarios she’d been imagining him in.
No, Kay, what is wrong with you? He thought frantically.  Do not be swayed by sweet temptation.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.  It’s been, uh… well, a while since my last confession.”
Matthew’s voice on the other side of the partition jerked Kay back to the present, his gut twisting with guilt at what he’d nearly allowed himself to think about the other man’s betrothed.
“Go ahead, my child,” Kay prompted, hoping the other man wouldn’t notice how strained his voice was.
“Right, okay, uhh, where to start…?” Matthew mused.  He paused for a long moment as if thinking.  “Well, I’ve had a lot of sex… like, a lot,” he began, and Kay’s gut twisted farther at the thought of him and [y/n] before he forcefully pushed that image from his head.  “—And not just with my fiance.  There’s been others, sometimes even two at once—“
Kay frowned, interrupting the other man.
“Wait, are you saying you’re been unfaithful to [y/n]?” he asked, trying to keep the sharp bite of his anger from his voice.
“Well, yeah,” Matthew replied.  “I mean, as good as she in in bed, I don’t wanna be stuck having the same boring sex with one woman my whole life.  In fact, this whole marriage was my parents’ idea in the first place, and if I don’t go along with it they threatened to cut me off,” he explained, Kay’s anger mounting with each word.
“Does… does [y/n] know about this?” he asked, seething, his hands balling in his dark robes.
“No, I mean, she’d flip out if she did, and then she’d bail.”
Kay couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and he couldn’t even warn [y/n]— confession was sacred.  What he heard in the confessional couldn’t be revealed to anyone.  But the worst part about it was the irony.  He’d pushed her away when she’d tried to tell him she wasn’t happy, thinking he might be breaking up a loving marriage, but it was already doomed to begin with.  Of course [y/n] was unhappy.
“So… what, Father, how many Hail Mary’s do I need to do to be good?” Matthew asked, pulling Kay’s attention back to him and he scowled. 
“That’s not how it works,” he countered.  “To be forgiven, you must truly repent and feel sorry for what you’ve done, and vow to the best of your abilities to not give into temptation and repeat your sin,” he explained sharply.  “If you have no intention of ceasing your adulterous ways then you cannot truly be forgiven.”
“Alright, alright,” Matthew relented, “I promise to the best of my abilities to avoid temptation,” he exclaimed, though it was clear by the tone of his voice that he had no intention of stopping.
In a hollow voice, Kay absolved the man of his sins and sent him on his way, unable to bring himself to leave the solitude of the confessional yet.  [y/n]’s words swam in his head, guilt and desire and temptation following them, gripping him.
“I never wanted this!  I still have feelings for you.  They never went away!”
Who was he kidding?  She was still all he’d ever wanted.  And if Matthew couldn’t see just how special she was, he didn’t deserve her.  [y/n] was right, he couldn’t give her what she wanted… but maybe Kay could.
“Ah shit,” he muttered under his breath.  
Without another thought, lest he talk himself out of it, Kay pushed open the door and hurried back to his office, shedding his robe and grabbing his keys.
——
It was the insistent pounding at the door that roused you from your fitful slumber, and you rolled over to check the time on your phone.  It looked like Mass would be over by now, but you couldn’t believe that that was Matthew at the door.
Maybe if you didn’t answer, whoever it was would give up and go away.  Besides, you weren’t exactly fit to be seen at the moment—!not having bothered to shower or change for the last few days, your eyes swollen and bloodshot from crying for hours on end. 
However, when the knocking persisted, growing, if possible more frantic, you reluctantly pushed yourself out of bed and threw your robe around yourself as you shambled to the door.
“I’m comin’, hold your fucking horses!” you called, peering through the peephole while your hand rested on the door knob.
When you saw who was standing outside, looking nervously around, you jerked back, your pulse instantly pounding loudly in your ears.
For a moment, you pressed your forehead to the door, trying to decide what to do.
“[y/n], please, I know you’re in there!  I just want to talk,” Kay called through the door and you took a steadying breath, unlocking the deadbolt, but leaving the chain in place, pulling the door open only a crack.
“What’re you doing here, Kay?” you demanded, though you didn’t give him a chance to speak.  “I think you already know why I didn’t come to church today, and if you’re here to ask me to come back to do my lessons, I’m not going.  I’ll call the Parish office tomorrow and request a new teacher—“
“That’s not why I’m here!” he exclaimed hastily, cutting you off and your eyes widened.  “Please, can I come in?  I don’t want to speak through the door and I want — I need to talk to you!”
The desperation in his voice and the wild light in his emerald eyes made you pause.  Biting your lip, you considered his plea.
“Okay, just… hold on a sec.”
Shutting the door to unlatch the chain, you wondered if you’d come to regret this, but something in his voice, in his eyes had swayed you.  You’d never seen him quite so frantic before.  Opening the door fully, you stepped aside so he could enter and you noticed he wasn’t wearing his white collar.
“Thank you,” he murmured as he passed and you quickly shut the door behind him, turning to face him while folding your arms defensively over your chest.
You were about to demand why he was there again when he spoke first, rendering you momentarily speechless.
“Oh, [y/n], you look awful” he exclaimed softly, worry lacing his voice as he took a step toward you, his hand reaching out.
Quickly looking away, you wiped at your already raw eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice the tears that were once more gathering.
“Kay… what do you want?” you asked instead, hating how your voice wavered.
He sighed heavily, his eyes going to the floor for a moment before lifting once more, his thick brows drawn down over a piercing gaze.
“Do you love him?” he demanded, his question taking you off guard and you faltered.
“I… I don’t know.  Why are you asking me that?”
At your answer Kay gaped at you in disbelief for a moment.  “Then why are you marrying him, [y/n]?” 
“I don’t know,” you replied automatically, your voice growing stronger as you continued.  “I don’t really have a choice, do I?  I need the stability Matthew can give me.  Besides, it’s not like I have much say in the matter, my parents—“
“That’s not a good enough reason!” Kay snapped and you recoiled as if slapped, knowing in your heart he was right.  “What about love?  Don’t you deserve that?” he exclaimed, a wild look in his eyes you’d never seen before.
The question stung and you bit your lip to keep from trembling.  “Yeah, well, maybe the man I love, I can’t have.  You made that clear enough the other day,” you muttered, drawing your arms around yourself and turning away so he couldn’t see the tears that filled your eyes.  “So, what does it matter anyway?”
Kay shook his head, opening his mouth to argue, but the words didn’t come.  Instead, he closed the distance between you in one stride, his hands going to your face as his lips collided with yours, taking you by surprise.
As soon as his lips found yours, his hands reverently cupping your cheeks, you froze, your mind reeling and your breath catching, and before you knew what you were doing, you were kissing him back with a desperation that nearly tore you in two.
You were dreaming.  You must be.
But no, he was real, and solid, and right there, kissing you like you’d imagined so many times.  
Clutching at his shirt, you pulled yourself against him and his hands left your face, his arms wrapping around you, embracing you tightly and you responded in kind, slipping your arms around his neck as your lips moved against his hungrily.
Gasping a hasty breath, you didn’t pull back for long, your tongue darting out to taste him, and he moaned into your mouth as he gave in.
All too soon however, he was pulling back to look at you, his long dark curls falling into his face, and you lifted your chin, your eyes finding his.  “What made you change your mind?” you asked softly, barely daring to breathe, afraid all this would be taken from you again if you questioned it.
“I...I made a mistake,” he replied uncertainly, but as he continued, the fierceness from earlier returned to his voice.  “I was a fool, alright?  I lied, when you asked if I still felt anything for you.  I’ve been lying to myself for most of my life,” he exclaimed.
“All I’ve ever wanted was you.  I never stopped loving you, [y/n],” he confessed, the ache in your heart growing.  “You deserve so much more than… him,” he nearly whispered.  
At his words a myriad of questions sprang to mind, all clamouring for attention — what did this mean?  How was it supposed to work?  You were technically still engaged.  It would look rather suspicious if you and Kay were suddenly to run off together, but—
Before you could focus on any one thought for too long, Kay’s mouth was on yours once more and this kiss, if possible, was more passionate than before, your back making contact with the wall behind you with a soft thud and all those thoughts fled.
All you wanted to think about was what was happening now, in this moment, everything else could come later.
Afterall, how long had you imagined this?
“Kay,” you murmured, whining softly as he drew back, though he still held you tightly.
“[y/n],” he sighed, affection thick in his voice as he pressed his forehead to yours, his curls brushing your face.  “I need to get back,” he continued reluctantly, and you whined louder.
“Stay,” you begged, not loosening your grasp on him.  Part of you was afraid if you let him go, he’d disappear.
“I can’t,” he choked, as if it took all his willpower to refuse you.
“But… what happens now?” you asked, reluctantly, letting him step out of your embrace.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, shaking his head as he caught his breath.  All he knew was that he wanted to stay and that was his sign to go… for now.  He was still a priest after all, even if his heart had given into this temptation.  “We’ll figure it out,” he promised, holding your face to press a kiss to your forehead.  
Watching him walk back out your door was one of the hardest things you’d ever done, but his promise echoed in your ears and you clutched to it. 
We’ll figure it out.
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softlass27 · 4 years
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Flufftober Day 6 – Quicksilver
This is a canon divergence on the 16th May 2016 episode, after Aaron breaks things off with Robert after overhearing him talking to Charity about the money Gordon left.
Some credit for this idea must go to @saras-almanac! Ever since we chatted about her canon-divergent fic letting go recently, I’ve really want to have a go at doing one of my own for that era. This is the result :)
AO3 link here
Get out of my house, and get out of my life.
Aaron’s mood changes like quicksilver these days, so fast that Robert can barely keep up. He’s always been fiery, had no trouble showing his emotions through his words or his actions – it’s part of what had drawn Robert to him in the first place. And with everything he’d been through in the last few months, Gordon, the trial… God, Robert doesn’t blame him for being all over the place.
But it’s been weeks now and… things aren’t getting better between them. If anything, they're getting worse. The quiet spark of hope that had Robert practically brimming with excitement not so long ago dims with each passing day, with each time Aaron lashes out at him or pushes him away.
Get out of my house, and get out of my life.
Robert trudges back to the Keeper’s, head down and hands in his pockets. He can’t seem to go more than a day without facing Aaron’s wrath, without being reminded of exactly what Aaron and his family really think of him, of where he really stands. He didn’t think getting the thing he wanted – the person he wanted – would be this hard, hurt this much.
As he reaches the cottage, he takes out his keys and unlocks the door on autopilot.
“Hiya,” Victoria calls from the kitchen, before poking her head out with a smile that dims as soon as she sees him. “Hey, you alright?”
Get out of my house, and get out of my life.
Fuck it.
“You fancy coming to see Gran with me?”
She blinks. “To Barcelona? When?”
“Tonight? Tomorrow? I still have those tickets.”
“But I thought you wanted to take Aaron to… ” Vic trails off, probably because of the look on his face. She stares at him for a long moment, considering, before nodding her head.
“Go on, then.”
*
It’s the next morning, crack of dawn, and they’re in the departures lounge. Well, Robert’s in the departures lounge, Victoria’s nipped to WHSmith to find a cheap paperback to read (although knowing her she’ll just come back with a load of magazines) while he watches their bags.
He’s on the verge of dozing off, when his phone rings. Aaron’s name flashes up on the screen and Robert’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He’d tried calling him last night, just to let him know he wouldn’t be around in case… God, he doesn’t even know. There’d been no answer.
Robert hesitates for a few seconds, lets it ring a couple of times while he considers letting it go to voicemail, before steeling himself and answering the call.
“Hello?”
“I’m outside,” Aaron says down the line. He sounds… blunt as always, but not particularly angry, not in the way he’d been yesterday.
“What?”
“I’m outside yours. Vic’s. Come down, will you?”
“Er… ” Robert hadn’t planned for this, didn’t expect Aaron to come anywhere near him after yesterday. He gulps and tries to remind himself that he’s not done anything wrong. “I’m not there, actually. I’m not in the village right now.”
“Alright,” Aaron says, light and casual. There’s a faint scuffing sound in the background, and Robert can picture him rubbing the sleeve of his hoodie against his stubbled jaw. “Will you be back soon?”
“In a few days. Sunday night.”
“What?” The casual tone is swapped for confusion. “Where the hell are you?”
“At the airport.”
“Where’re you going?”
“Barcelona.”
There’s a long silence, and Robert’s stomach twists unpleasantly. He wishes he hadn't picked up. “Oh. I thought we were – you went without me?”
Why do you care? He wants to snap back, as the old him definitely would have done. You didn’t want me there and you were never going to come with me, either. There was never gonna be a good time for you, not in the middle of all this. I wanted you to meet my Gran, my only other family, but now you say you don’t want anything to do with me, so why should I bother waiting? What's the point?
But he doesn’t say any of that. He’s trying to be better.
“I tried ringing you but – look, we can still go another time if you like, I don’t mind booking more tickets. But I only had so long to postpone these ones and I’d already made… ” He can’t bring himself to tell Aaron about Annie, not over the phone. “Anyway, you said you wanted me gone so… ”
“So you’re going to another country?”
“Rob!” Robert looks up to see Victoria coming over with an armful of magazines.
“I – hang on a sec,” Robert said into the phone, before cover the speaker with his hand. “What, Vic?”
“Oh soz, didn’t mean to interrupt. Just got you this.” She drops a car magazine he likes into his lap and takes the seat next to him.
Robert shakes his head and speaks to Aaron again. “Sorry, back now.”
“Is there someone else there?” The words are sharp, accusatory.
“Well I weren’t about to go alone, I’m not that sad.” He’s about to say he’s with Victoria, maybe try lightening the mood by making a joke about how much luggage she’s brought, but Aaron’s talking again before he has the chance.
“Right, I see how it is.” The rage that Robert is all-too familiar with is back in his voice. “You get bored of having to wait longer than five minutes for me so you just bugger off with some random?”
“What?” Shit, no. “Aaron no, it’s not like that. I’m just with – ”
“You know what, save it.”
“Aaron wait, I – Aaron?” Nothing. He’s gone.
“Fuck.” Robert jabs at the screen, quickly calling Aaron back and praying he’ll pick up so he can tell him he’s got this wrong, all wrong. But it’s fruitless; Aaron doesn’t answer and if Robert knows him at all, he won’t be answering for some time.
“Was that Aaron?” Victoria asks with the same tentative concern she’d shown last night.
“Yep.” He sighs and tosses the phone on top of the magazine in his lap.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Okay.” Victoria lays a gentle hand on his arm. “Maybe later? While we’re in Spain?”
“Maybe.”
*
They do talk, in the end. On their second night in the city, they go out for dinner and drinks, relishing the chance to unwind after a day spent answering question after question from Annie and all her ancient mates at the care home. Old people are exhausting, honestly.
“So… ” Victoria says around a mouthful of fish, with a casual air that Robert knows is entirely put-on. “D’you feel like talking about Aaron now? About what happened? Because as much as I’m enjoying the surprise trip in the sun, I know I’m not the one who’s supposed to be sitting here right now.”
“Can’t I just take my baby sister on holiday?”
“You can, but you never have before. Come on, I know you booked these tickets for you and Aaron for your birthday, but for some reason it never happened. And I know you haven’t spoken to him since that phone call in the airport. Whatever’s going on… you know you can talk to me, right?”
Robert sighs, contemplates doing what comes naturally and lying to her, plastering a smile on his face and insisting that everything’s fine. But after weeks on end of giving everyone that smile until his jaw ached, he doesn’t have it in him anymore.
“It’s just… ” He hesitates, not really knowing where to start. Victoria leans forward encouragingly. “I’m not sure he actually want to be with me.”
“Rubbish,” she fires back instantly. “He’s as gone on you as you are on him.”
“I don’t think so, Vic.”
“Okay, what makes you say that?”
“The fact that he can’t seem to go more than a day or two without biting my head off or saying he wants nothin’ to do with me, for starters.”
“Is that what happened yesterday?”
“Pretty much. Said he wanted me out of his life.”
“Why, what did you do?”
“Nothing – for once,” he shoots her a rueful smile. “Just… I said something to Charity, he overheard and took it the wrong way, kicked me out before I had a chance to explain properly.”
“Well there you go, then,” Vic smiles. “A misunderstanding, that’s easily fixed. Once you explain, he’ll calm down and you’ll be fine.”
“Until the next time,” Robert mutters, stabbing at his food with his fork.
“What d’you mean?”
“That’s the point, Vic. I always have to explain, because he always thinks the worst of me and pushes me away, says I'll never change. Before that, it was the burnt letter fiasco, then it was him actually believing I’d paid someone to have Gordon killed in prison. And now this. Even on the phone the other day, he instantly assumed I’d gone off with someone else. He probably thinks I’m shagging some random right now, when I’ve told him how I feel about him. When he's the one who keeps shutting me out and cancelling every plan I try to make with him.”
Robert drops his cutlery down on the table as the words spill out of his mouth, increasing in speed before he can stop them.
“And before you say it, I know I was awful last year, alright? I get it, I’d understand if he didn’t trust me, if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. But… he’s said that he does trust me, and he’s said he still wants me. Then he goes and treats like he thinks I’m scum, like I’m still that selfish person he used to hate, and then I think maybe he doesn’t really want this, not the way I do. I’ve been trying, I’ve been trying so hard, but I can’t seem to get anything right and I’m just – I’m just sick of it, okay?”
To his absolute horror, the backs of his eyes begin to sting with tears, and he blinks them away rapidly as Victoria stares at him open-mouthed, eyes wide with shock. He can’t say he blames her, he’s surprised himself. His gaze remains fixed on the dark red tablecloth, already feeling awkward about his sudden outburst.
“And he forgot your birthday,” she eventually says, offering him a small smile. A surprised chuckle bubbles out of him and he looks up.
“And he forgot my birthday. Which I know makes me sound like I’m about six but…”
“But it was your first one with him.” He nods. “And you wanted to get to spend it together in Barcelona and take him to meet Gran.” Another, smaller, nod, and he buries his face in his hands as his cheeks flush with embarrassment.
“Oh, Rob.” She pushes her plate aside and yanks on his arms until he drops his hands and meets her eyes. “You’re allowed to be upset, silly. I’d be gutted if I were in your position.”
“Doesn’t feel like I am, not with everything that’s happened… ”
“You and Aaron… it’s a big deal for you. He’s your first boyfriend.”
He rolls his eyes. “We’re not teenagers, Vic.”
“Robert,” she frowns at his deflection, not having it. “After everything you've been through this past year, coming out, how much you’ve changed, being with Aaron properly… this is a big deal. I’m proud of you, you muppet.”
He doesn’t really trust himself to speak, so instead he settles for squeezing their fingers together, hoping she understands. She does, if the warm look on her face is any indication.
“Adam actually told me he stuck up for you with Aaron a couple of weeks ago, y’know?”
“What?” Well, that definitely didn’t sound right. “When?”
“After you burnt that letter. Which, by the way, was a bit stupid, but I get that your heart was in the right place. I can’t blame you for not wanting to give it to him, and neither can Adam. He kept it from Aaron too, remember?”
Robert fiddles with his napkin, carefully folding the corners. “What’d he say, then?”
“Just told Aaron that you were only trying to protect him, trying to make sure he never had to hear from Gordon again, like he said he wanted.”
“Wow… who would’ve thought your husband would be on my side?”
“I know, I think Adam was as shocked as anyone. So you see?” Victoria raises her eyebrows. “You’re not a monster, Robert. You’ve changed, and people can see that. If Adam’s started coming around to you, Aaron definitely will have.”
“Don’t think has family ever will.”
“Well, there’s only so much you can do about that; you can’t kill yourself over trying getting people to like you. But last time I checked, Aaron’s an adult, he can make his own decisions. He usually does, too.”
Robert sighs and nods, mulling over her words. They resume eating their meals quietly for a few minutes.
“So… what d’you think I should do?”
“I’ll tell you what you’re not gonna do,” Vic points at him with her fork, waving around the potato on the end of it. “You’re not going to give up on this.”
“I don’t want to. But I don’t know how to… ” He shrugs helplessly.
“I think you just need to have a conversation with him. Tell him what you’ve told me.”
She tuts when Robert pulls a face.
“I know you don’t like talking about feelings – I swear, you’re both as bad as each other – but you have a right to know where you stand, Rob. Look, I know Aaron’s been through hell and there’s a lot going on right now with his sister an’ all… but you can’t stay stuck in this weird limbo. He’s either in this or he isn’t, he wants you or he doesn’t.”
“And… ” Robert chews his bottom lip, stomach churning unpleasantly. “If he says he doesn’t?”
“I mean, I very much doubt that. But if that does turn out to be the case then… ” Vic hesitates, before grinning. “We’ll just have to head into town and find you a nice new bloke, won’t we?”
Robert snorts, already recoiling at the very idea. “Like I’d ever let you take me out on the pull.”
“What, I’d make an excellent wing-woman!”
“God no, please stop.” They both giggle into their wine glasses, until Robert’s smile eventually dims. “I don’t want a nice new bloke. I want Aaron.”
“I know you do,” Victoria says softly. “That’s why you have to try. Just talk to him.”
“Yeah… you’re right.”
“What’s that, now?” The glee in her voice makes him groan. “Can I get that in writing, please?”
“Alright, calm down.”
*
Typically, their return flight is delayed, so they don’t arrive back in Emmerdale until the early hours of Monday morning. Robert’s so knackered, it’s all he can do to bid a brief goodnight to Victoria and collapse face-down on his bed.
After what feels like only seconds after he puts his head on the pillow, he’s jolted awake by the sound of loud banging. Cracking one eye open, he takes in the faint light coming from the window and realises that despite his exhaustion, he must’ve had a few hours of rest. The banging starts up again, and Robert’s sleep-addled brain manages to work out it's someone at the front door. He waits for the sound of Adam or Vic heading down the stairs, but there’s only silence.
Groaning, he rolls to his feet and throws on his dressing gown before stumbling to the front door and cracking it open, ready to tell whoever it is to kindly bugger off and let him go back to bed, only to be met with the sight of the last person he’d expected to see at this hour.
Aaron.
He stands before Robert, hands shoved in his pockets and gel-free hair blowing in the wind. He looks as amazing as ever, and Robert’s missed him so much it makes his breath catch for a second. He stands frozen, hand dropping from the door to hang at his side.
Aaron clears his throat. “Hiya.”
“Hi.”
“You’re back, then.” His voice is gruff and slightly hoarse, like he hasn’t had enough sleep.
“Er, yeah. Late last night.”
Aaron nods and there’s a long pause.
“You gonna invite me in or…?”
Robert steps aside to let him pass and follows him into the living room. They stand there awkwardly and Robert stays silent, waiting for Aaron to make the first move.
“Pub’s been quiet without you,” Aaron eventually offers. “Got used to you hangin' around every day.”
“Bet your mum’s not been complaining. Or Liv, for that matter.”
Aaron gives a small smile that looks more like a grimace, and Robert’s heart sinks slightly at the silent confirmation that he's right.
“I missed you, though.” He says it so quietly, Robert almost doesn’t catch it.
“I missed you, too."
Aaron’s mouth curls into another smile, a more genuine one this time, and he shuffles his feet.
“Adam told me that you were with Vic. That you were seein’ your gran, too.”
“Oh.” Robert’s mind flashes back to the last time they’d spoken, to Aaron’s furious words, and judging by the look on Aaron’s face now, his is too. “Right.”
“Sorry for havin’ a go at you on the phone. I should've – I’m an idiot.”
“S’fine.”
“I didn’t mean to – I just thought – ”
“Thought the worst of me, I know.”
Aaron looks stricken at that, and Robert instantly wants to take the words back. He doesn't, though, he can't bring himself to. Aaron's eyes fall away from his face, wandering uncomfortably around the living room. Just like that, Robert suddenly feels almost as distant from him now as he had in another country, and he hates it. Victoria’s insistent words from the other night echo in his ears.
Just talk to him.
“Aaron, I… ” Robert can hear footsteps above them, the telltale sounds of Adam and Victoria getting up to start their day. He really doesn’t fancy an audience for this. “D’you fancy goin’ for a walk?”
Aaron’s gaze snaps back to him, and he frowns. “A walk?”
“Yeah. Could do with some fresh air after my flight and… maybe we can have a chat?”
“A chat… ”
“You gonna repeat everythin’ I say?” Robert can’t resist giving him a teasing smile, and Aaron huffs a small laugh and shakes his head.
“A chat about what?”
“Just… stuff. You and me?”
Aaron hesitates, before nodding. “Yeah, okay. Might wanna get changed first, though?”
Robert suddenly remembers what he’s wearing, and he wraps his dressing gown around himself self-consciously as Aaron’s eyes crinkle in amusement.
“Uh, give me five minutes.”
Robert gets ready in record time, rapidly brushing his teeth while he pulls out a clean pair of jeans and a jumper. As he shoves his feet into a pair of shoes on the landing, Victoria opens her bedroom door and almost trips over him.
“Oh, mornin’,” she says around a wide yawn. “Did I hear Aaron downstairs?”
“Yeah, he’s waiting for me,” Robert answers, his voice hushed so he’s not overheard. “We’re going for a walk.”
“And?”
“And… I’ve asked if we can talk.”
Vic’s face brightens. “That’s great, Rob.”
“Unless he doesn’t like what I say and dumps me on the spot, of course.”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.” Vic waves a dismissive hand.
“Rob?” Aaron calls from downstairs. “We goin’ on this walk or not?”
“Coming!”
Victoria grins at him, smug in the way that only his annoying little sister can be. “I told you – smitten kittens, the pair of you.”
Robert chooses to ignore her in favour of jogging back down the stairs, meeting Aaron by the front door.
“Ready?”
“Been waitin’ for you, mate,” Aaron scoffs. “Let’s go.”
They leave the cottage and set off in the direction of the footbridge.
“So... ” Aaron glances at him tentatively. “What's up?”
Robert takes a deep breath, and starts talking.
36 notes · View notes
revasserium · 4 years
Note
Hey! Can i please ask for 5 + Oikawa? Thanks!
hq!!reqs temporarily: closed ; all other reqs: open
send me a number a character and i’ll write you a drabble ;
5. love as one of the dead languages oikawa ; 3,718 words, assassin!au 
a/n: this will… maybe. have a part 2… maybe. 
for him, love was never a question, and death almost always the answer. it was never a question of why, only how and where and when. but then again, he’d never questioned the who either, assassination as a trade, or the stock of lives taken like tally-marks against his skin – sometimes, when he closes his eyes, he thinks he can hear them screaming. 
the first time he meets you, it’s at the grocery store. you bump into him, one airpod hanging from your ear, a loaded shopping basket swinging from your arms. you turn with wide eyes and a cherry-stem mouth to apologize for not paying more attention. 
he tells you it’s okay, smiles, and glances at the things in your basket. 
“big party this weekend?” 
you shake your head, grinning up at him, “nope! i just really like cooking. so i cook a ton of food and bring it to all my neighbors. there’s an old lady that lives two doors down from me who loves it! and she has the cutest cat – his name is mr. meowmers.” 
oikawa blinks, your voice chiming through him like church bells, the sound of it something he doesn’t think he’ll forget in a hurry. there’s a light in your eyes that makes him wonder if you’ve ever tasted the pain of heartbreak, another part of him that hopes (wishes, like a child on a shooting start) that you won’t ever have to. 
“ah…” is all he musters before you’re off again. 
“he’s a really cute cat, but i think i’m a little allergic. i always get the sniffles when i visit them. or maybe it’s just cause the old lady hasn’t dusted in like… 87 years.” 
oikawa laughs, and the realization shocks even himself. when was the last time he’d laughed like that – a completely unweaponized thing, reactionary and natural. he tries to think back and finds that he can’t remember. 
“oh shit! sorry, i’ve gotta go – the weather forecast said it was gonna rain and i left the goats out on the window. bye! and sorry again for bumping into you!” 
he doesn’t have the chance to ask you your name; he spends the remainder of his shopping trip wondering why he’d ever want such a thing. it’s not like him to be so… sentimental. 
two days later, he moves into a new safehouse. and it’s in a nice enough building, if a little dated (built in the 80′s, or something like that), doorman and mailroom – he thinks he’ll be sad to leave. it isn’t till he hears someone knocking on his door that he frowns, pressing the large sniper rifle he’d been assembling back into its case and kicking the entire thing under the couch before peering cautiously into the peephole. 
his stomach drops out of his body at the sight of your face. 
your cheeks a little pink, your bottom lip caught in your teeth. 
you reach out to knock again, but oikawa pulls the door open with a colgate smile. 
“hi! i’m sorry to bother – oh! it’s you!” 
you blink up at him as he leans casually against the doorframe, wondering what on earth you’re doing here. 
“ah – yes, it’s me,” he says with a small flourish of hands, his heart thumping against his ribcage. the world swaying beneath him because why the hell are you here? and more importantly, why does he care so damn much? 
“uhm – i was wondering if i could borrow some sugar? it’s just – i was baking and i was halfway through mixing everything before i realized that i forgot to buy sugar that one time at the store and – well, the old lady, she likes stuff really, really sweet, even though her doctor’s been telling her that she needs to keep the sugar intake down. and –” you teeter on the balls of your feet, rocking forwards and backwards as you babble on and oikawa can’t help feeling just a bit endeared. 
“do you live here?” he asks, catching you in between breaths. 
you nod, your smile widening tenfold as you point to the door diagonally across from his. his heart sinks into the place where his stomach used to be. 
“yep! just over there.” 
oikawa forces another smile and jerks his head towards his living room, “i can get you some sugar if you give me a sec. how much do you need?” 
you purse your lips, your eyes glittering with what he imagines is an entire galaxy of just-born stars, “just a cup! oh – or maybe two – to be on the safe side. in case i need them for the cupcakes. yeah, definitely two cups.” 
oikawa nods before retreating back into the apartment. he scoops out two cups of sugar from his untouched sugar box into a large bowl and returns to the door, handing it over with a smile. 
you bow your head, your hair fluttering around your shoulders – its only then that he notices how long it is, falling around your face like a waterfall, sleek and smooth and – 
he wonders if it’s soft. girls’ hair usually is. he wonders if it’ll smell nice too. 
he resists the urge to lean foward and check. 
“thank you! i’ll bring you some when they’re finished – and uhm – well,” you stand back up, your cheeks three shades darker than they were before, “thanks, again,” you totter along the edge of your words, and he leans in, as if drawn forward by some invisible force – perhaps gravity, perhaps something much less physical. but he stops himself. 
this is not the time, nor the place. 
“you’re welcome! and, thanks in advance! i’m sure the cake will be delicious!” 
he watches you scurry a back to your door, bowing once more before you turn into your own apartment, the sliver of it he catches when you open your door is bright and a veritable explosion of pastel colors. 
by the time you disappear back into your own apartment, oikawa is already hitting speed dial on his phone. 
“tell me you didn’t fuck this mission up already.” 
oikawa scowls at the sound of iwaizumi’s voice. 
“i’m not always a fuck-up, have a little faith.” 
iwaizumi lets out a bark of laughter, “right, like that time you accidentally left your gloves on the rooftop of the shinjuku hit? or that time –” 
“okay, okay – shut up! i get it, so i’m a little… scattered, but i always get the job done, don’t i?” 
iwaizumi snorts across the lines, “yeah. by some godforsaken miracle.” 
oikawa smirks, “i’m pretty sure being forsaken by god is a prerequisite for assassination as a career path. isn’t that like… on the pamphlet they give you at job fairs?” 
“alright, what do you want?” 
oikawa slumps down on his sofa, “the girl living diagonally across the hall from me. in unit 1012 – whatever info we’ve got on her.” 
silence. and then. 
“do i even wanna ask?” 
oikawa grins, glancing down at the bit of sugar caught on his shirt, “depends. do you like cupcakes?” 
two days later, he returns from a particularly grisly assignment, his joints aching from a completely unwarranted bar fight, the front of his shirt completely soaked in blood and beer. he doesn’t even want to think about how he might smell. 
“rough day at work?” 
every muscle in his body tenses at the sound of your voice. his hand rests on his door and he somehow manages not to break the handle off the hinges. 
he turns towards you, pressing his lips into a rice paper smile. 
“something like that. some of the coworkers wanted to get some drinks after and uh – things got a little messy.” 
you laugh, your shoulders shaking, your eyes alight with mirth. he watches you with a muted fascination. he’s never known anyone to laugh as freely as you do. 
“a little, you look like you murdered a guy!” 
he laughs, “oh, homicide via tequila shots is a pretty frequent occurrence in my life, so, you’re not entirely wrong.” 
you smile, ducking into your apartment only to return a moment later with a platter of freshly baked cookies. 
“here, i made these today – macadamia nuts, you said you like them, right?” 
oikawa nods, cautiously reaching out to take a few, hoping that you won’t notice the blood caked beneath his fingernails. 
when he finally pushes through the door of his own temporary abode, he finds iwaizumi sprawled across the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table. 
his eyebrows are millimeters from disappearing into his hairline. 
“homicide via tequila shots – really?” 
oikawa scoffs through a mouthful of cookie, pulling his sullied shirt over his head and tossing it into the basket by his door, lovingly labeled burn pile. 
iwaizumi eyes him with a curious expression. 
“i got the file, on the chick in 1012.” he waves a thin folio in the air before tossing it down onto the table by his feet. oikawa swallows, licks the crumbs from his lips before picking up the file. 
he nods, skimming over your name, birth date, birth place, social security, nationality. 
“studying criminal psychology, interesting.” 
iwaizumi cackles, “that girl? criminal psych? please say sike.” 
oikawa frowns, “you never know, she could have been onto us since day one.” 
iwaizumi rolls his eyes, “us – you mean you? letting her borrow sugar.” 
oikawa scoffs, “it’s just sugar, and it’s not like i’ll ever use it for anything.” 
“right, cause you can’t cook worth a shit.” 
“i’ll filet your ass if you keep on going off –” 
“you know that this can’t be a thing, right?” iwaizumi’s voice dips into a lower register, his eyes going dark as he leans forward to fix oikawa with a look. 
oikawa narrows his eyes, “of course i know it can’t be a thing – i let her borrow sugar. it’s not like a fucking proposal for marriage –” 
iwaizumi shrugs, “with you, i’m never sure.” 
oikawa pouts, raising his hand to toss your file back at iwaizumi. but he stops himself with a sigh. he opens his mouth to say something, but a series of knocks at the door tells him that you’re on the other side of it. probably with another tray of some baked good you’d spent the whole day making. 
he takes a breath and opens the door. 
“hey! i made challa bread – cause the couple in 1017 are jewish and – oh, were you about to take a shower? sorry –” 
oikawa glances down at his bare chest and flashes you a sheepish grin. 
“i was about to hop in the shower, but damn, these look really good. did you have to braid it yourself and everything?” 
you nod, the excitement painted so plainly across your face he feels his heart stutter. 
fuck. 
“here! uhm – this one’s for you. and uh – if your friend wants some, he can have some too! i’ll let you get back to your – uhm –” you glance at his chest again before flushing the most darling shade of pink, “showering,” you finish, bowing as he reaches out to pick up the large loaf of challah bread. he waves his free hand as you scramble back to your own apartment, glancing over your shoulder once more before ducking behind the door. 
oikawa closes his own door with a sigh. 
he meets iwaizumi’s gaze with a flatline one of his own. 
iwaizumi looks from the loaf of bread in oikawa’s hands back up to his face. 
“not a marriage proposal, huh?” he scoffs, “damn, you’re fucked.” 
oikawa stares down at the freshly baked bread in his hands before heaving a sigh. 
“get out of my house – i still need to shower.” 
iwaizumi gives him one last once-over before pushing to his feet. he brushes by oikawa with a grimace, pausing by the door even as oikawa sets the challah on the kitchen counter. 
“y’know, it’s the first time i’ve heard you call anywhere a house.” 
oikawa stiffens. “it’s called a safehouse, isn’t it?” 
iwaizumi lets out a mirthless laugh, “yeah, but the way i see it now – it’s the farthest thing from safe for you.” 
and then he’s gone, before oikawa has the time to snap back, or perhaps throw something at the back of his head. oikawa glares at the place where iwaizumi had sat on his couch and vows to wash the pillow covers the next day. he glances back at the challah bread, and then to the file still on his coffee table. 
maybe, just maybe, he should find a new safehouse. he takes a cold shower and decides to invite you to dinner next week instead. 
“i thought you said you’d made lasagna before!” you laugh, bumping oikawa out of the way with your hip, bending over to inspect the damage he’d managed to do in the four minutes you were in the living room picking a movie to watch. 
“i have! in cooking mama – and garfield makes it look pretty easy,” he says, pouting as he leans over you, trying to watch what you were doing with the lasagna but he can’t concentrate for the smell of your shampoo. green apple and jasmine flowers. coffee beans and petrichor. 
you almost smack into his nose as you lean back up, closing the oven door with a snap. 
“it’ll be ready in about four more minutes. and is john wick okay with you?” you glance over your shoulder at him. he licks his lips before flashing you a sheepish smile. 
“maybe something that’s not about killing people?” 
you smile, “what, not good with blood?” 
oikawa shrugs, “something like that. what about marley and me?” 
you gasp, “so you’re okay with a dog dying, but not with people?” 
he yelps, shaking his head, “i mean, no! it’s just – you had a lab when you were younger, right? so i thought maybe –” 
you quirk your head, “how’d you know i had a lab?” 
oikawa blinks. 
well shit. 
the timer goes off and you jump, turning back to the oven. the moment passes like any other moment, and with you tittering about how hot the lasagna pan is, oikawa tries to remember that breathing shouldn’t be so difficult – but it is. he forces himself to breathe in, and then out, and then in again. 
you end up watching something on the disney channel, but oikawa’s too distracted by the way your leg is pressed up against his for the entire duration of the movie to pay attention. 
the lasagna is good (no thanks to him), and when the movie ends, you turn to smile at him, a bit of sauce on your upper lip. he reaches out to wipe it away and time slows around him, the way it usually does right before he pulls the trigger, every millisecond coalescing around him in stark, mind-numbing clarity. 
you lean forward at the same time he does. 
the second before he kisses you feels like an entire eternity – one that he can stretch and bend to his will as he pleases. something he can mold between the palms of his hands – these hands that have only ever known death now cupped around your cheeks like they’re learning how to hold life for the very first time. 
he kisses you with trembling lips and when you pull back, you flash him a tiny little frown. 
“why’re you shaking? i’m not going anywhere.” 
oikawa lets out a breathy laugh before leaning in to kiss you again, harder this time. his lips more sure, though his mind is the furthest thing from sure – he can’t shake the tightness curling in his chest, wrapping his heart in a thick gauze of worry – when he pulls away again, breathless and lightheaded, he wonders if this is what fear feels like. 
real fear. like the phobia of heights, or falling. 
or rather, falling in love. 
shit. fuck. goddammit. 
the next time he meets iwaizumi, the latter is much too pleased with oikawa’s clear distress. 
“not gonna say i told you so,” he says, smirking as he tosses back a glass of scotch. 
oikawa glares, nursing his own glass between his fingers, “well you just said it, so fuck you.” 
iwaizumi raps his knuckles on the bar for a refill. it appears a moment later, and he promptly downs this one as well. 
“well, you know my advice. nip it in the bud – kill it before it –” 
“she’s got a name –” 
“fuck oikawa, i was talking about the relationship, not actually killing her.” 
oikawa tosses back his own drink, grimacing as it hits the back of his throat. 
“could’a fooled me.” 
iwaizumi frowns before flagging down the bartender and tapping at oikawa’s glass. 
“we’ll take the rest of the bottle.” 
the bartender regards him with a dubious look before iwaizumi tosses down his black card and the bartender bows, scurrying away to fetch the drink. 
“he’ll probably upcharge you for that,” oikawa says, not looking up from his empty glass. 
iwaizumi shrugs, “who cares. company card.” 
oikawa allows himself a helpless sort of grin. 
“maybe i’ll just tell her,” he says, swaying in his seat as the bartender returns with the bottle of tequila and iwaizumi’s card. 
iwaizumi thanks the man before turning back to oikawa. 
“what, that you kill people for a living? please don’t – i’ll end up having to take you out, and we both know you’re not gonna enjoy that.” 
oikawa laughs, “you wouldn’t kill me.” 
iwaizumi heaves a long sigh, “wouldn’t i?” 
oikawa shakes his head, and a moment later, iwaizumi laughs. 
“you’re right. i probably wouldn’t. which is why they’d assign someone else to you. someone without any emotional connection – and then you’ll be just another target. just another mark.” 
oikawa nods, “just another mark,” he repeats, even as iwaizumi refills his glass. 
“so,” iwaizumi says, slipping off the barstool, clapping oikawa on the shoulder, “like i said, kill it before it gets worse. and i mean –” he shrugs, “if you gotta kill her too. well, that’s just how it be sometimes, right?” 
oikawa grunts, downing his drink before pouring himself another. 
that night, he gets home way too late, only to find you curled up on his couch, his jacket tossed over your shoulders. 
he smiles as he crouches down next to you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers linger against your skin. he watches the way you sleep, peaceful, without a single sign of bad dreams. what must it be like, to be so innocent and unhaunted by the cruelties of the world? to fall asleep without the fear of death looming over your next waking moments. 
he leans in, his lips moments from yours when you awaken again, smiling as he kisses you. tender and sweet. 
“rough day at work?” you ask, blinking sleepily up at him. 
“yeah,” he says, smiling as you push yourself up onto your elbows, barely stifling a yawn, “sorry i’m so late. there was a big project that needed finishing.” 
you nod, burying your head in the crook of his neck as he scoops you up into his arms. he carries you to the bedroom and lays you down in bed, kicking off his pants and shucking his shirt before crawling into bed next to you, curling up around you with a long breath. 
you relax into him, your heartbeat steady beneath his palm as he holds you close.
after a moment, you giggle, twisting around in his arms till you’re face to face, your hands pressed against his chest. you lean up to kiss him, nipping playfully at his lower lip as you do. 
“quit being such a scardy cat, like i said, i’m not going anywhere.” 
he smiles and crushes you against him, burrowing into the junction of your neck, the place where you smell the most like you. he takes a deep breath, and then another. they both come out shakey, and you card your fingers through his hair with a sigh. 
“do you wanna talk about it?” 
oikawa shakes his head. 
“okay then, we don’t have to talk about it – but here’s what i know – i know that you’re a good person. and that you like cats more than dogs, but you’re also super loyal, like a dog. you suck at cooking, but you’re not terrible at baking, and you like classical music with violins in it. i know that you’ve got your heart in the right place, and to me, that’s all that matters.” 
you hold his face between your palms like it’s something precious. 
he hiccups and wonders if it’s at all healthy to be feeling like this – to be so full of some unnamed emotion, to be boiling with it to the point where he’s sure he’ll burst. he kisses you, hard, and hopes that somehow, someway – this will all work out. 
though he has no idea how. 
he pulls back with a watery laugh. 
“you’re the best.” 
you smile and lean in to nuzzle your nose against his. 
when you pull back, he settles into the pillow, hooking one of his legs over yours with a contented grin. 
you trace the line of his nose with your forefinger, bringing it down to his lips, where he presses in to give you another kiss. 
“tooru?” 
“hm?” he hums, allowing the tiredness to seep from his body and into the sheets. he thinks that whatever it takes – whatever that might be – to make all of this, all of this with you, work out – he’ll worry about it tomorrow. 
you lick your lips. 
“can i ask you something?” 
he smiles, a little sleepy, a little (or maybe a lot) in love, “sure, shoot.” 
you take a breath, hesitate for a moment before – 
“why do you always smell like gunpowder?” 
taglist:  @thewaterlily @dorkyama @vventure @parkersvibes @lena-chan009 @tickles614 @therandomfandomcollector @undertheseabass @miyulovestowrite  @writing-in-monotone @lceiji @writeiolite 
pls let me know if you’d like to be add/removed. 
178 notes · View notes
cabin-7 · 4 years
Text
Did someone say solangelo???
Secret Smooches
@i-love-all-books I got you bro
TW: I dont think there are any but tell me if any are needed.
Word count:2231 short and simple
AN: this started super late at night and I just kept comin back to it so here's a fluffy as hell Solangelo fic written by yours truly. It also not been checked so grammar mistakes aka terrible writing ahead
---------------------------------------------------
Nico didn’t know why it started. To most people, it was endearing what Will did but to Nico, he was just annoyed. He enjoyed kisses from his boyfriend, but not so suddenly. At least that’s what he told everyone else.
It started a few weeks into their relationship. Nico was sitting at the Hades table eating whatever he had first thought of when he heard Will walk past, seemingly talking with friends. He turned to wave and just as soon as he was facing him Will smacked a kiss onto his lips and kept on walking and talking as if he had done nothing in particular. Nico, on the other hand, was gobsmacked and raised his hand up to his lips. His head swiveled towards where Will had just sat down at the Apollo table and gave him a look that he hoped conveyed his message: “What the hell was that about?”. In return. Will simply smirked and winked at him. Nico felt blood rush up to his cheeks as he stubbornly turned back to his plate trying not to reminisce on the chaste kiss.
----
Then it became a routine. The thing was that it always happened before people showed up at the dining pavilion. Nico had convinced will to eat lunch because of it which was why Nico didn’t try to tell Will to stop. Because if Will ate lunch, he was taking care of himself, so what was a little kiss in front of a few people.
One day Jason had slipped into a seat across from Nico and was mindlessly chattering. He talked about his girlfriend which Nico wasn’t entirely interested in. He commented back nonetheless, so he wouldn’t be seen as rude. Jason was his friend after all. Their conversation slowly transitioned to another topic. 
Jason picked up a book that he had at his side. “I’m revamping all of the temples on the Temple Hill as you know,” he said excitedly as he flickered through the pages, “and I want your opinion on the Pluto temple,” he flipped a few pages back and flipped the book towards Nico to reveal messy sketches and notes. The drawings weren’t wonderful by any means and it was clear that Jason was still learning but it was definitely better than the last time he had seen Jason’s sketches. Nico wondered if he had gotten some tips from Hazel. Jason pointed at spots on the page and explained what he had visioned.
“So I think having some sort of torches would be fitting, but I don’t want it to be too dark,” he said with a huff, “I’m just not sure what to do for that.”
“Just promise me it won’t be like Hades cabin when we first came here,” Nico remarked, “it was so-” suddenly Nico heard his name being called. Looking to his left he saw none other than his boyfriend running up the hill waving his arms dramatically.  Nico glanced over at Jason who looked mildly confused. 
As quickly as he could Will rushed up to Nico.
“It’s kind of crazy in the infirmary so I have to skip lunch but-” Will started but Nico cut him off by holding out an apple.
“You need to eat something,’ he said, “and, an apple a day keeps the doctor away is how the saying goes right? That means you can scram for all  I care,” he teased lightly.
Will smiled at Nico and gratefully took the apple. “Thanks, babe,” he chirped before planting a sweet kiss on Nico’s lips that lingered for a few seconds. Not too long, but enough for Nico to blush ever so slightly. Will pulled away still smiling, “you’re the best,” he waved at Jason with a small ‘hey’ before ruffling Nico’s hair and running back to the infirmary. 
Nico watched him run off with furrowed eyebrows. He couldn’t decide whether to be angry, flustered, or endeared. He settled on a stone-cold expression he turned back to Jason. He also decided that his feeling for Will could be kept in his mind. Jason had a mischievous grin and at that moment Nico felt himself grow embarrassed and the blush return to his cheeks and ears. He felt like people might’ve been staring at him, but that he was used to. It was the look on Jason’s face that told Nico he was in for it though.
“So... Will Solace?” he questioned innocently and Nico groaned, burying his face in his hands. Jason cackled and leaned forward, “oh c’mon! You’ve gotta at least tell me about him!”
Nico shook his head and Jason only begged him for some information on the boy who had suddenly kissed him. After a lot of refusals, Nico let loose the smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth and looked up.
Nico heaved a heavy sigh as he balanced his head on the palm of his hand, “he’s my boyfriend,” he confessed. Jason gave a subtle eye roll and muttered ‘duh’. Nico lightly hit his arm. “I’ve been dating him for a few months. We started dating on September 15 and today is…” he glanced at Jason for the date. 
The son of Jupiter laughed, “it’s November 18th”
Nico nodded, “right. Well anyway, he does…” he paused as he thought of what to say, “Since like October he’s been” he felt his face grow hotter and hesitated, “kissing me when I least expect it.”
“Awww!” Jason cooed, “that’s so cute!”
Nico glared at him, “don’t push your luck Grace. You may be my friend but that doesn’t mean I’m any less likely to punch you.”
----
The tradition continued, every day. Nico always thought he’d expect it, but then it started changing. Will switched up when he did, but made sure it was at least at one of the three meals. He said it was to make sure Nico was eating, but the other knew better. He knew Will was having fun with it, and gods be damned he wasn’t going to upset him.
So, it was definitely odd when Nico hadn’t seen Will at breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Call him a worrywart, but he knew something was wrong. Or at least he thought he did. So Nico finished his dinner wearily and even waited in the dining pavilion for a bit. People gave him odd looks. Jason teased him, but he didn’t care. He was just worried about Will and he wasn’t going to miss him.
Eventually, though, he decided that it would be better to look for Will than wait for him. So he hoisted himself off of the table’s bench and started to walk off into the camp. He decided to stop by the Apollo cabin. When he got close to the cabin he heard Dancing Queen by Abba being played loudly over High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco. There were other songs mixed in here and there not playing nearly as loud as Apollo children loudly shouted over one another.
“SHUT UP PANIC AT THE EVERYWHERE NICKI MINAJ IS OUR QUEEN” a low voice yelled.
“THAT’S SAC-RELIGIOUS TO HERA..or something-”
“IT’S NOT RELIGION IF “GOD” IS YOUR DAD SHUT UP PARKER”
Nico chuckled quietly to himself as he stepped on the porch. He wondered if knocking would even work, but there was no doorbell so he’d have to hope. He wasn’t looking to raise his voice or just open the door. 
Luckily children of Apollo have extremely keen ears.
As soon as Nico knocked he heard one of Will’s sister, Kayla, yell “QUIET” louder than was humanly possible. Nico was beginning to realize how loud Apollo kids really were. All music in the cabin ceased it’s playing and the door swung open to show Kayla with a bright smile and a lot of Apollo kids who seemed to be fighting. One had another pinned to the ground, holding a fist above her head as her brother squirmed.
“Yo! Nico!” Kayla greeted, “sorry about the ruckus, music debate night. You know how it is.” Nico, in fact, didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, “anyway, how can I help you?”
Nico could feel the eyes of Apollo campers glaring into them as they impatiently waited for their debate to resume. Nico smiled awkwardly, “just looking for Will, is he here?”
Kayla spun around and looked around the large cabin, “WILL?” she yelled. No reply. A small girl who was being sat on by her younger (but stronger) brother squeaked, “Haven’t seen him since this morning.” Another kid called, “who’s Will?” Kayla spun around back to Nico, “I think that’s your answer. Check the dining pavilion, maybe the infirmary. Though he shouldn’t be in the infirmary, I told him to catch a break.”
Nico sighed, “I’ve been telling him for the entire time I’ve known him,” He shrugged, “well… thanks, Kayla.” She nodded and waved before she picked up two pots. 
“You might wanna cover your ears, and close the door will you?” Nico shut the door and heard two pots clang together as Kayla screamed, “ROUND THREE! WARFARE!” before the music began blaring loudly once more. The bass was so strong that the cabin shook beneath his feet. Nico quickly hopped off the porch. Once he was a few feet away from the cabin the noise ceased. He assumed there was some sort of noise spell put over the cabin because he knew that if there wasn’t the cabin would’ve been heard all the way in New Jersey.
Nico pulled his black leather jacket closer to him as the chilly autumn air blew around him. While Camp Half-Blood had control over the weather, year-round campers liked to experience the different seasons, if a bit milder. Nico did too. He likes to see the trees changing and feel the colder weather kick in. Bonus: he got to steal Will’s jackets.
The son of Hades tried to peek into the infirmary through the windows but the curtains were drawn. Suspicion bubbled in Nico’s chest, but either way, he knocked. Unlike the Apollo cabin, the silence wasn’t nice to hear. So he tried the doorknob. Turns out it was unlocked so Nico walked right in.
“Will?” Nico called. There was a shuffling from a back room and a crash before a familiar voice called back.
“One sec!” Will yelled. His voice sounded a bit strained, but nothing worrying. Nico was more so worried about the crash and why Will was still at the infirmary.
Soon enough Will walked out of the backroom and tossed his gloves out before he rubbed his eyes. Nico smiled softly at him and cautiously held open his arms. Will smiled gratefully and walked into Nico’s arms, tenderly wrapping his arms around his torso and burying his head in his hair. Nico rested his chin on Will’s chest.
“Rough day?” he asked quietly. Will silently nodded and held Nico closer to him which only made the boy smile. “We all have bad days. Is there anything I can do to help?” Once again Will stayed silent, but this time he shrugged. Nico nodded and reached up to press a kiss to Will’s cheek. “Your siblings are being super loud right now. We can go to my cabin and watch TV or something.”
Will cracked a smile, “I forgot that it was a music debate Monday” he said quietly, “we can hang out in your cabin,” he took a deep breath, “that sounds nice.”
Nico smiled a bit more and let go of the medic, “wanna tell me what happened first?”
So, Will sighed and began to explain that on top of being busy, he just felt out of it. He was not only physically tired but emotionally too. Nico listened to everything he said as he spoke in a far different tone than usual. It was soft and quiet. And yet Nico knew that it was still his Will. So as they were about to leave the infirmary, Nico grabbed Will’s sleeve to stop him and planted a surprise kiss on his cheek like he always did for him. Surprise smooches always brightened up his day.
----
Nico rested his head on Will’s chest, “So, the dinosaurs are CGI?” he asked for confirmation. 
\Will nodded as he raked his fingers through Nico’s hair, “Yeah. it’s really cool technology, but I wouldn’t be the person to tell you about it. The son of Hades nodded, “It just looks so..so..”
His boyfriend chuckled, “real? Yeah, I know. It’s kind of crazy-” he was cut off by a sudden boy kissing him sweetly. Will blushed a bit but happily obliged to the sudden kiss that ended too soon for liking. “What was that for?” He asked.
Nico shrugged, settling back into where he was snuggled up, “you’ve given me a crap ton of surprises, why can you get one?” Will laughed softly and pulled the quilt on Nico’s bed up closer, “yeah that’s fair.”
“It should be a game,” Will said after a pause, “who can steal a secret smooch first?” there was a moment of silence between them before they both burst out laughing.
“You’re on Solace,” Nico said with a smirk. Will nodded and the two shook hands at an awkward angle before they both dove in for the first move of a game that would last way longer than they expected.
131 notes · View notes
okayoonoh · 4 years
Text
MARK’S FAMILY
a/n: i have a bit more time now since school is out! i hope to get as many things out as i can!
here’s the masterlist to all things nct dad related! go and check it out!
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MARK LEE:
he has 2 kids, both boys. ethan lee is the oldest, 2 years later, eli lee was born.
ETHAN LEE: >> as a baby <<
a giggly little thing
he was honestly just a lowkey baby
like he wasn’t super energetic
he wasn’t super fussy
he was just lowkey
mark honestly was so nervous the entire first couple months of ethan’s life
he genuinely felt like he was doing everything wrong and was so scared that he would do something that would eventually hurt ethan
but you would reassure him that every new parent just needs to figure it out and everything will be okay
mark was still pretty nervous tho
ethan is the oldest of the kids born in his year
there’s only three of them
ten’s second son, shawn leechaiyapornkul and jaehyun’s daughter, jung lani
all three dads would come together as a joint baby sitting project
but honestly, ten and jaehyun went over to help mark and ease his nervousness
like shawn is ten’s second son, so even if ten doesn’t have it completely figured out, he at least has the experience
on the other hand, jaehyun has read a ton of parenting books and such so he knows a lot about the facts of the matter dealing with temperature of baby food, the right type of crib, the material of the baby’s clothes, etc.
jaehyun and ten would go to mark’s house a lot to help him out and teach him the ropes
(omg i have scenario ideas haha)
but a little snippet:
mark: okay, ten-hyung, he’s been crying for the last hour and i already fed, changed, and burped him and i’ve been trying to get him to sleep for a while now... what do i do?
ten: stop bouncing for a sec and hold him. *walks over so his face is level with ethan’s face* ethan look! *takes out a toy to distract the baby*
ethan: *gnaws on his fist but stops crying, his attention on the toy now.*
mark: how did you know?
ten: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  all experience, dude.
(another scenario)
mark: okay ethan, time for your bath!
jaehyun: waIT STOP
mark: ???
jaehyun: did you check the temperature??? you can’t put ethan in the same temperature that you bathe in... babies can be sensitive towards this... *puts his hand in the water* oh my goD! mark! this is way too hot!! turn down the temperature!
(oh man imma have fun with these three haha)
ethan was born first 
shawn was born next
and lani was born last
they were all born rather close to each other tho
like coincidentally, they were all born like within 30 days of each other lol
ethan was born 2 weeks late (i know... poor you...)
shawn was born roughly on time
and lani was born like 2 weeks early
since they were all around the same age and such, jaehyun, ten, and mark found that as a reason to all get together and help each other
(it was more mark freaking out and ten and jaehyun helping him out haha)
just give mark sometime with ten and jaehyun and they’ll make sure he knows what to do :)
>> as a child <<
started to become a little more active
he’s so lovable
like he’s so magnetic
so many of the kids are just so drawn to him it’s weird
like even he doesn’t really know why but people just always want to be his friend
he’s so talented and so dedicated when he puts his mind into something
ethan is such a hard worker
he’s best friends with ten’s second son, shawn leechaiyapornkul and jaehyun’s daughter, jung lani
they all remain best friends basically for life
the three of them are pretty clever for kids
like they make really good decisions
they won’t go and buy the high quality toys that are expensive
they’ll buy the budget toys bc there’s more of them
the three of them all play well together
shawn is really shy and was really scared to try new things
he wasn’t really adventerous
ethan and lani decided it was their life mission to make shawn more social and adventurous
most of the things they all did together was to try and get shawn to try more things and be less scared of not scary things
and he loves it!
ethan is like the leader of the group
as the oldest, the other two tend to just follow him
ethan is the same way towards his little brother
like at first, he was awkward like mark was
tbh ethan is super awkward around babies lol
like he doesn’t know the right way to talk with them
he’s okay with his younger brother
he didn’t really know how to interact with eli when he was an infant
ethan gets better when eli is a toddler
he starts to gain an interest in rapping and stuff around this age
mark shows him some of his old videos and such
and he’s honestly so entranced
he thinks mark’s rapping is the coolest thing in the entire world (bc it is)
mark starts to teach him as much as he can
and ethan is just so interested in all of it
ethan spends almost all of his free time writing lyrics and such 
mark helps him out
ethan most definitely can speak english too
like mark made it a point that he wants his kids to be bilingual lol
ethan is just as passionate about canada as mark is
honestly? ethan looks like a mix between you and mark
but his personality is all mark
when he hits puberty, his voice is squeakier than average lol
he still raps through it tho
he doesn’t let the squeaky voice make him feel insecure at all lol
>> as a teen/adult <<
becomes such an amazing rapper it’s crazy
he doesn’t join a boy group
he becomes a solo artist
he’s honestly just as busy a someone in a boy group tho
like not only did he get his personality from mark
he also got his busy schedule :,(
this was unintentional
but ethan is such a good rapper that they just filled up his schedule
lani becomes a solo artist herself and they collab together a lot
like they collab together so much that at this point, they should just say that their in a group together lol
ethan is so multitalented
like his rap style isn’t limited to just one
like he can do all kinds of different styles
he can spit bars
he can deliver a super strong rap
he can even rap in a chill way
ethan’s voice is honestly so calming too
like he has one of those voices that you can just listen to for hours on end
his on stage persona is so intimidating 
but his normal personality?
he’s soft™
around lani? even softer™
tbh
like lani and ethan just decide that they’re together one day
they both probably danced around that topic because they both were scared that getting together would ruin their friendship
like lani didn’t want to confess because she didn’t think ethan liked her like that
and ethan vice versa 
ethan would probably be writing a song and he would call lani to be there bc she was his muse
and like they found themselves super close with each other and stuff
then they were like “look, let’s just start dating, wth.”
and they do
and they become the power couple of the century™
lol they probably were super scared to tell shawn
but when they did he’ll be like “FINALLY”
and lani and ethan were like ???
and shawn was like “y’all. I’m hella dense, but even I WAS ABLE to see that there was something going on between you two.”
ethan and lani were both hella relieved and their status as a couple didn’t mess with their friendship with each other and with shawn at all
anyway
ethan gets really famous bc he’s just such a good rapper and such
and he maintains his relationship with his best friends
and he also supports the heck out of eli
omg eli would like make a dance cover to every single one of ethan’s songs
and ethan and eli would dance together a lot
they were super good siblings
if ethan needed choreo, the only person he would go to is eli. periodt.
ethan is honestly such a good and awesome person :) 
ELI LEE: >> as a baby <<
he was so chic as a baby
like he would give you guys smiles and stuff
but the smiles only lasted a quick second
then his face is straight again
everyone was lowkey like “why is he so mad at us all of the time”
eli wasn’t mad
that was just his face lol
he was a rather bouncy baby
like he was definitely happiest when he was in his bouncer
mark was better this time, dw
he definitely wasn’t perfect
but the training ten and jaehyun put him through prepared him for this
eli also tended to smile a lot when ethan’s in the room
and mark is definitely happy to have a little helper
even tho ethan was still a little young when eli was born
he was still a huge help
like if eli was crying
ethan would walk over and hit him reassuringly
and eli would stop crying!
but it was out of shock and not comfort lol
it’s okay bc it gave mark enough time to get over there :)
eli honestly was the biggest momma’s boy
like the first day you were gone the whole day
eli couldn’t take it
he cried basically the entire day
eli loves mark, but he just loves you so much more for some reason lol
even tho he looked mad 25/8
he was such a pretty baby
like he was all you with mark’s eyes
those rare times eli did smile, oh man
the universe stopped when you saw that precious smile
he was a really sweet baby regardless of what people would say :,)
one of the quickest ways to make eli really happy is to put him in his bouncer
turn on some music
and boom
happy baby right there
mark is really good at playing with his boys
like both ethan and eli had such an active imagination
and mark was right up there with them
when eli was stomping and walking around, that’s when mark shined as a dad haha
eli is happy sunshine even tho he has one of the most severe cases of rbf lol
>> as a child <<
still pretty chic
like nothing really phases him
he looks scary or mean
but he’s honestly really sweet and nice
people would be really scared to approach him tbh 
bc he just looked so mad
but the second he opened his mouth?
happy boy™
omg but if someone was talking crap about eli?
ethan would have none of it
ethan will defend his brother until the day he dies. 
he’s best friends with yangyang’s oldest son, ryu wei
they’re born the same year
eli and wei both love love love hip hop
they also both are so talented at dancing
like when you watch like those dance company things (like the MILLENNIUM DANCE COMPLEX) and you see the little kids?
that’s eli and wei
their personalities compliment each other well
like their both goofballs
and they both work really hard
and they both have a huge passion for dancing!
omg eli is definitely the shy one between the two
okok imagine
it’s eli and wei’s first super huge dance comeptition
and they both have major solos / a duet part of the dance together
the entire family is there
(including all of nct and their kids lol)
(they totally take up half of the theater but that’s besides the point)
wei is HYPED
but eli is super duper nervous
to the point where eli doesn’t want to go onstage anymore
and even tho wei reassures him, eli is still nervous
wei knows exactly what to do tho
he goes and grabs ethan and takes ethan to eli
and after a quick pep talk and such, eli is all ready to go out
eli and wei both KILL it
they do so freaking well so like ofc they won :)
(without a doubt nct would be so freaking loud lol)
but it was genuinely so good!
eli is full of so much talent
but even so, he’s not lazy
both ethan and eli have such a good work ethic
they work hard to see their goals and it pays off :)
>> as a teen/adult <<
his face remains the same
like his stoic exterior is what makes him so popular
his facial expressions are honestly 10/10
he becomes a dancer
and he’s oh so good
he is another one of the instructors at youngchul and kaleb’s place
eli and wei are the freestyle teachers
like eli can do practically any style
but he feels like freestyling is the purest form of creative expression in dance
lol probably with his stoic expression, everyone thinks he’s the “bad cop”
but it’s the other way around
and like wei isn’t really the bad cop
eli is like “okay! good work guys! let’s take a quick break then start again!”
wei is like “okay! love the energy so let’s all keep it going with no break. we’ll take a break when our legs feel like their gonna fall off, okay?”
eli was probably casted a lot since he’s been in the dancing scene as soon as he could walk
and like he genuinely considered joining a group
like he knew how to rap a bit from practicing with ethan and such
and tbh, eli thought he would do it bc he thought that it would make mark “more” proud of him
but mark would tell him to do whatever he wanted!
like regardless if he joined a group or stayed as a dancer or heck, even get an office job
mark would be so proud
so eli decided (probably on a coinflip lol) that he’ll dedicate his time as a full time dancer
and honestly? he’s living his best life
like best best life
he gets to do his favorite thing everyday
he’s surrounded by family and friends?
eli is thriving
he also is super duper supportive of all of the other dancers in the group
like if a kid wants to dance for fun, eli and wei will teach them!
omg eli for sure inherited mark’s flexibility lol
if eli is really feeling the vibe of a song and wants to go off he’ll throw in the splits 99% of the time teehee
like all of his talent and hard work is shown through every performance
eli is honestly pretty awkward tho lol
like onstage and in front of a camera? he looks like the most confident person in the world
then offstage and someone compliments him? 
poor baby gets so shy haha
he calls you everyday
he’s still the biggest momma’s boy lol
eli is honestly just thriving :))
---
and there’s mark’s fam! i hope you guys liked it!
i have a ton of ideas for a joint baby sitting project between mark, ten, and jaehyun! it should be a ton of fun to write!
let me know if you have any requests! my request box is open :))
- amy <3
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long-bodyswap · 4 years
Text
Yotta Life
(Im sorry I don’t have the credits, but if you know the author you can @)
It’s been an adjustment lately getting used to all this fame and attention since Adele’s new album came out.  The whole world knew it would be huge, but even the most optimistic among us couldn’t have imagined that it would have the best selling first week sales of any album in history!  With massive, iconic numbers like that, it was only natural that she would need more security while she goes on her whirlwind press promo, and I’m the best in the business- ermmm- I mean technically my host, Peter Van der Veen is the best in the business, but it’s not like anyone could tell the difference since the spell I used gave me access to all of his memories, training, and personality traits.  No one has suspected a thing, and I’ve been inside Peter since he was Lady Gaga’s bodyguard!Possessing the top bodyguard for the stars has been a dream come true because I’ve met and spent time with almost all of my idols.  Gaga is much more normal in private than people give her credit for, but my favorite client so far has been Adele, BY FAR.  Never have I ever met such a witty, sweet, funny as shit, monumentally talented, and down to earth person.  Rumor has it she used to be quite the drinker before she had her baby, but every now and then she’s whipped out a little reward for the road with her team, meaning I was naturally drawn into the fun.  IIt’s been simply remarkable getting to know Adele and honestly consider her a friend.  She’s so honest and personable that I catch myself shifting out of Peter’s stern persona, dropping sass and giggling to her jokes.  I remind myself often that it’s only acceptable around Adele, but anyone who had previously known Peter would be immensely suspicious.  Still, it’s been the single most meaningful (and lucrative) gig I’ve ever done. You can see that I try my hardest to remain stern and serious.  It’s so hard because even her commentary during casual conversation is adorable and hilarious enough to make a stone gargoyle let out a good chuckle.  Sometimes it honestly is too much and I can’t help but smile and join in the silliness.  It’s comforting at least to know that Peter’s smile looks so fucking sexy- almost as sexy as his stern smolder.  
The bulk of the promo circuit ended in December so now that it’s January 2016, I finally have some time to myself.  Adele thanked me profusely for my service and friendship and begged me to free up my schedule so I could join her when her tour starts in April.  I promised her I’d lock in the dates, but it’s going to be nice to have some time to have fun behind closed doors…At the very least it’ll be nice to show off this body.Fuck, what a great day.  I’m rocking this perfect bronze and I can finally show off this sculpted body.  I work ridiculously hard to keep it up to Peter’s standards, but it’s so worth it.  Peter’s body looks sexy as hell in a suit, but it was meant to be seen and envied by others.  And the Adele gig was so lucrative that I’m set to be enjoying the next four months shirtless and glistening at this Mexican resort.  I used this morning to do a power workout of sprints and chest interval training in a nearby canyon, and then I rewarded myself with a nice afternoon spent relaxing at the beach.Peter’s sore muscles always made me horny for some reason, which meant that I was on edge almost all day every day…I didn’t mind though.  It reminded me of how powerful and full of my vitality my host was.  What I did mind though was burning in this hot sun.   Noticing a cute boy eyeing me, I saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.  The adorable fucker looked about my real age, but way better looking, not that that mattered since I was inhabiting Mr. Europe 2005.  Being bisexual, I’ve been able to use Peter’s body to anonymously fuck around with hotties from all over the world, but I’ve gotta say I’ve developed a strong preference for boys, so let’s test the waters and see if this kid wants a taste of the premier bodyguard to the stars.“Hey, kid.” I said in a deep, yet friendly tone.  “You got a sec to help me out with something?”  I made sure to flash him a subtle smile, also pulling my shades down so he could see the twinkle in my beautiful eyes.   It only took me a second to realize I had him hook, line, and sinker.That big smile was one thing, but I had also completely stopped him in his tracks.  He was walking back over to me without a single hesitation. “What can I do for you?” The chap asked with a friendly tone that was masking what I, after maaaanyy similar encounters, knew was lust.“You see, I’m going to start burning soon, so could you help me with a fresh layer of sunblock?”He kept his jaw from dropping, but I knew he was shocked and ecstatic.   “You mean, on your back?” He asked, treading cautiously.“Actually, I was hoping you could help me with the whole thing,” I said, pointing out my sculpted chest and abs before biting my lip in a fake show of nervous anticipation.  
The boy paused to think for a second before smiling again and walking over.  “Sure, I’d love to help out,” he said in a  way that tried to make it sound like he was just doing a normal favor for a stranger.  
I grinned in relief before putting my shades back on and getting out my tube of sunblock.  I laid down, making sure to get comfortable before I took a second to adjust my junk since I was about a quarter hard from the sheer testosterone pumping through my veins.  
“Sorry about that,” I said before getting relaxed again.  “Had a brutal workout this morning.  Always gets the testosterone flowing, if you know what I mean.”“I could tell you had a good workout this morning.  You’ve got the pumped look.  Maybe you can share some workout tips- I’m trying to bulk up, but it’s been kinda hard.”“Son, you don’t need to add a single pound of mass.  The lean look is really sexy on you.”  I said that right as he popped the cap open, making him blush before he squeezed a healthy helping of that cream into his hands.  
“That’s easy for you to say,” he said before slathering that cream on my abs.  I shivered and gasped from the cold, tightening my core from the surprise, but he kept talking.  “Especially when you have a body like this.”As far as I could tell, he had no idea who I was, so it was safe to see if I could push his buttons a little.As he spread the cream over Peter’s ripped abs, I quietly moaned from the feeling of those smooth fingers rubbing that coconut scented goodness into my stolen skin.  The look on this boy’s face was one of inner conflict.  He didn’t know if he should go a little further, but he finally got my subtle hint and began rubbing me more purposefully until he was giving my abs a slow and deep massage.  
“You have…so much definition,” he marveled as he worked his strong fingers more and more expertly.   “mmmmmmm that feels so good, kid.  Guess you could tell that yesterday was ab day,”  By this point his constant touch had me more than half hard.  He definitely noticed my long and thick cock growing in my shorts, but he didn’t back away.  He started massaging me even more purposefully, sensually even.  Damn, this kid had some kink in him.  
“And I’d bet money you did a chest day today,” he said slowly and smoothly as he began working his magical hands up to my muscular slabs of pec perfection.  I moaned louder this time as he worked his hands up to my chest so he was grabbing a pec with each hand, squeezing firmly enough to loosen up those stiff muscles.  He squeezed harder, massaging my sore chest and making me groan in a mix of ecstasy and agony.  I was shocked though as he, without stopping his deep tissue chest massage, began to gently flick and rub my nipples with his thumbs.  I inhaled deeply, feeling my cock twitch and continue to engorge as this boy worked Peter’s incredibly sensitive nipples.  My breathing picked up, getting slightly faster before this kid made his big move.  I gasped loudly as he leaned down and began sucking on one of my nipples before reaching the other hand down to rub my cock through my shorts, making it pulsate and swell to full hardness.  
“Unnnngggg,” I groaned as I looked down at this cutie with thick, bushy eyebrows give in to his hunger for cock, specifically my cock.  I gasped again as he gripped my cock through the shorts, feeling the thickness of my girth and the obvious length before smiling, apparently satisfied with Peter’s thick 8.5 inches.   “If you wanted me, you should have just said so,” he whispered seductively into my ear.  
I knocked the big tube of sunscreen onto the sand before grabbing him and pulling him on top of my powerful chest, enjoying the weight of his body against my greased up chest.  I brought my mouth to his and he eagerly opened as I locked our lips and brought our tongues into a dance of lust.  Fuck, he tasted so minty.  My rock hard cock pulsated as I humped my crotch up against his, feeling his hard dick rub back against mine as I let us get lost in the lust.   FInally breaking the kiss, I told him, “I have a room,” barely having the breath to make the sentence.  He just smiled before we made a mad dash to pick up our shit and cover our raging hard ons as we ran back to the hotel.   I woke up the next morning alone int he bed except for a little note that had a phone number and the name Zac.  Man, last night was crazy.  I mean, I’ve done some kinky shit with Peter’s body, but I think I blew four of Peter’s loads into that boy last night.  Yeah, there was the load when I was fucking him doggy style.  Then another when I was fucking him missionary.  The third one was when he was riding me.  mmmmm, the last one was my favorite.  I pinned that kid against the wall with my strong arms and bounced him up and down off my powerful thrusts until I finally blew that last load so deep inside him.  On that one things got so intense.  Zac was hollering and almost hyperventilating my cock made him feel so good.  He didn’t even touch his dick that time since he was scratching at the wall the whole time, but his cock still blew a load all over the two of us.  That was about when I hit my limit.  I remember roaring so loud I thought the walls were vibrating before finally, dripping in sweat and muscles and veins bulging all over my body, I blew all of the remaining cum in Peter’s balls so deep into that boy.  When I calmed down, I carried the boy back to the bed and we both laid there making out and squirming from the afterglow of our orgasms before passing out from our multi-hour fuckfest.  
I smirked as I thought to myself how this would be my life for the next four months.  I got up and walked over to mirror, admiring my boxer-clad vessel, still just as high off of the beauty of this stolen body as I was two years ago when I first took Peter over.  
“You’re one sexy man,” I said to the reflection before winking.  God damn, seeing Peter’s body respond to my actions was still so satisfying.  I felt a fluttery sensation deep in my gut before blushing from the sight of the sexy body in front of me.  Mmmmmm yeah, Peter might be a strong and tough man, but I can always make him do whatever I want because he’s powerless with me inside.  
“Don’t ever forget that you’re too weak to resist me.  You couldn’t do a thing to stop my soul from slipping inside you and stealing you,” I taunted his reflection as I leaned his head down to his pit and huffed in his manly sweat and stench from yesterday’s workout and fuckfest.  
“You smell like a real man,” I said with appreciation before I stripped off the boxers and brought them up to my face which instantly scrunched up into one of ecstasy, huffing in the crotch area, almost coughing from the power of the manly muskiness.  It was so fucking masculine and sexy, and it always got me hard.“That turns you on doesn’t it, you kinky queer?” I asked his reflection before I brought my lips to the mirror and pretended to make out with Peter.  My heart sank though as the cold glass reminded me that I was on the other side.  Sure, I could take over some other stud for a night and use my powers to mind control Peter into having a wild night of passion, but it takes me a lot of time to build up the energy to switch, so I only like to switch sparingly.  I need at least three months to build up the necessary energy, so I don’t use the gift for casual flings.  No.  It’s a commitment, so the stolen life has to be perfect.  I stayed in Peter for the last two years because life has been so perfect, but it would be nice to finally feel and taste his body from the other side…Still, I’d need to find the perfect body and life in the next week or two in order to have enough time to get back inside Peter in time for Adele’s tour.  I guess I’ll just have to wait until after the tour…My frustration built, and I decided to take it out on Peter.  Even though I knew he was blacked out, I liked to pretend he was aware of everything when I got mad.  Grabbing his semi-hard cock, I pumped it until I got it back up to full hardness, watching myself make angry, yet sexy and turned on faces in the mirror as I pumped myself mercilessly.  
“Yeah!  You like that you queer slut?!  I’m gonna make you eat every drop of this cum!  unnnnngggggggg it’s gonna taste so fucking good, you fag!  Who’s the tough guy now, you freaky fag?  Can’t believe a tough guy like you is gonna eat your own load like some queer cum whore!”  God, this always made me feel so turned on and so much better.  I was getting close to orgasm when the phone rang.  I instantly clicked ignore, but it started ringing again.  I growled as I clicked ignore a second time, but the damn phone rang a third time.  Cursing, I let go of Peter’s cock and switched to his professional voice as I answered the phone.  
Even though I was initially annoyed, I was so glad I picked up the phone.  Smiling from ear to ear, I listened to a very special new client ask for my services over the next three and a half months.  Apparently he needed extra security for his wife, so tomorrow I would be on an early morning flight to Beverly Hills.  My vacation wasn’t over, it was just moving to another locale…and I’d finally have the chance to taste Peter’s lips and mouth from another perspective.Fuck, I was so excited I went back to pumping Peter’s cock.  I ate his load, this time to celebrate!  Now it’s time for me to get cleaned up, buy tickets, and pack!It was so lucky to get that call from Bastian Gillmeier, or Bastian Yotta as the media and instagram know him.   couldn’t help but enjoy one more early morning walk in Peter’s body, happily flaunting his muscles as I left shirtless and enjoyed the feeling of the breeze on his skin.  But then I checked his watched and realized how late I was.  
“Shit!  Better get back and shower.  Gotta get to the airport.  Damn, I won’t even have time to yank out one last load!”   I quickly cleaned up and called for a cab, and before I knew it I had checked in and boarded my plane en route to Beverly Hills.  Still, I was frustrated by this libido and the desire, no, the NEED to feel Peter’s cock be relieved one last time.  It was one of those rare flights where it was barely at half capacity, and somehow I was the only one in the first class section.  This airline was my favorite too because instead of thin curtains separating first class from economy, there were actual doors, affording me a much greater sense of privacy.  Still, I didn’t feel comfortable pumping a load out with that cute flight attendant around.  With me being the only client, he was checking on me practically every ten minutes, and I wanted to make this last.  I thought about going in the lavatory, but there was something so nasty and classless about that.  No.  I guess I’d need to test the sensibilities of this handsome flight attendant. Maybe he could even help me out.  
I looked behind me and predictably saw him waiting there with a puppy like grin, waiting to please me.   “Would you like another drink, sir?”I flashed him an enticing grin as I thought pensively.   “That does sound refreshing,” I remark as I subtly relax in my seat, getting more comfortable and spreading my legs just a little.   “Another barcardi and coke?”“I don’t know.  I’m craving something a little different.  I’m just so on edge.  I could really use something to help me unwind,” I say breathy as I rub my hands in between my thighs and groan lightly.   This boy gulps loudly, nervously adjusting his tie.  “W-w-well…We have mojitos.”“No…that’s not what I want…” I say with a husky tone as I look him directly in his eyes, licking my lips while I rub my host’s crotch, groaning slightly more loudly as I feel this meat starting to get hard and strain within the confines of its denim prison.  
“Sir!  This is inappropriate!  I’m going to need to ask you to-”“Shut up and touch it.  I know you want to.  Your cock can’t lie to me.   “SIR.  If you don’t stop I’m going to have to-HUH?!” he gasped as I grabbed a hold of his arm and yanked him close to me.He was speechless from the shock as I pulled him onto my lap, keeping him firmly locked in my grip thanks to Peter’s strong muscles as I went to work grinding my tented crotch against his backside and reaching my hand around to begin rubbing his engorging cock.   “MMMMmmmmmmpppphhhhhhhhhhmmmmmnnngggggggg” he groaned through Peter’s big hand that was muffling his shouts.  
He squealed as I grabbed a firm hold around his rod, stroking and pumping him through his soft uniform pants, breathing hot on his neck as I whispered into his ear.   “You’re getting so horny, boy.  I can feel you getting hard in my hand.  mmmmmm a tasty boy like you is just the refreshment I needed.”  I followed by licking up and down his neck, making him gasp as shivers coursed their way up and down his spine.   “You liked that didn’t you?” I asked with a chuckle before experimenting and easing up my grip on his mouth.  
He took several deep breaths before slowly turning his head to face me.  It could have gone either way at this point as I saw the panic and indecision in his eyes.  But then the look in his eyes focused in and I knew he has made his decision.  
He lunged as he joined his mouth with mine, moaning loudly into my mouth as he wrestled his tongue past my lips and hungrily tasted me.  I needed to remind him who the big man was in this steamy moment, so I forced Peter’s tongue into this boy’s mouth, reveling in the pleasurable moans echoing into my mouth as I ferociously tasted my mile high slut.   Pulling back, he now had a look of hunger in his eyes.  “I-I’ve never done this before at work…”“It’s just the two of us in here.  No need to worry about anything.”He looked into my eyes briefly before biting his lip nervously.“Can I…taste it?” He asked with such anticipation in his eyes.   I just smirked at him.  “You think I’d say no to a hot mouth like yours?  Get to work, boy.”I closed my eyes, smiling with satisfaction as this boy crawled down onto his knees, no longer able to suppress his desire as he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled down the zipper.  I lifted my butt up to help him as he pulled down my pants and drawers, letting this big fat cock spring out, slapping him lightly in the face as he gawked at my host’s unveiled meat.  
I shivered as he immediately went to work, grabbing me with one of his hands, pumping me softly as he wrapped his lips around the head, getting it nice and moist as he swirled his tongue around.  My fingers were trembling, and the sensation crashing through my cockhead, down to my groin and down my thighs was so powerful that I had to bite my lip and focus on gripping the armrests just to keep from shouting out.  This boy knew what he was doing, and he had just barely gotten started.  
I felt the veins on Peter’s muscles expand, letting an intense surge of blood-flow crash through every part of his body.  It was a euphoria like no other, and it only intensified as this mile high slut began bobbing his slick mouth up and down, up and down, picking up speed as he kept sucking that meat and swirling his tongue over all of Peter’s most sensitive spots.  I cringed and scrunched my face it felt so fucking good, but I didn’t want to make too much noise.  At this point though I think he was almost challenging me to give in and admit how good it felt.  He finally had his wish as he all of a sudden jolted his head down, swallowing every inch of my meat as he scooped both hands up my shirt and found my sensitive nipples.  
My eyes shot wide open as he began deepthroating me with ferocious speed, all while squeezing, twisting, and rubbing all over my massive pecs, and particularly, my tight and hard nipples.  My back arched violently as a loud groan finally escaped my lips.  I bit my lip though to shut myself up, scrunching my face up again and hyperventilating as this boy kept swallowing my entire length.  
I couldn’t have hoped for a better last orgasm in Peter’s body, but I still wanted it to be at least partially on my own terms.  Growling as I felt the testosterone levels in Peter’s body rising, I grabbed the boy’s head with both of my hand’s, getting no resistance from him as I began to pull him down onto my cock, harder and even faster than he was already going.  Mmmmmmm it felt so satisfying as I used Peter’s strong arms to pull that mouth and tight throat down onto his juicy meat.  Such a good throat fuck, but I couldn’t hold my hips back anymore, so it got even more intense.  I know I might have been going rough on the boy, but he wasn’t complaining as I started bucking my hips up, thrusting into his mouth and thrusting powerfully down his throat.  The boy kept squeezing my pecs and nipples, getting more intense as I added more and more power to my throat fuck.  My toes were curling in my shoes as I looked down at this hungry mile high slut, and seeing the desperation in his eyes finally sent me over the edge.  Groaning loudly, I slammed his mouth down onto one last powerful cock thrust after what had seemed like an eternity of building pressure in Peter’s massive balls.  With that thrust, my pent up load was finally free, releasing stream after stream directly down the hungry throat that was so expertly milking my cock.  I shivered as kept yanking his throat down onto each new ribbon of cum, milking out over a dozen shots before the stream finally slowed to mere droplets which we sucked straight out of me with that skilled mouth.  
Attention Passengers,  Please prepare for landing.  We will be arriving in approximately five minutes.  
“Damn, sorry boy.  I guess I don’t have time to return the favor.”He just smiled adoringly at me though.  “No, don’t be sorry.  That was-That was amazing!  I’ll be thinking about you and this later tonight.  This will be on my mind for the next month at the very least!”He gave me one more passionate kiss before he straightened his tie and uniform, giving me a sexy wink as he made the landing preparations, leaving me in my golden orgasmic bliss.  He was kind enough to point to my ankles though, reminding me my pants and boxers were still down, leaving my softening meat out for the world to see.  I quickly pulled my pants back up as we began the descent.  
I hopped in the cab at the airport, unable to contain my grin as I gave the driver the address of Bastian’s Beverly Hills mansion.  The cab driver wasn’t particularly talkative, so I sat in eager silence as I mentally prepared for my transfer and mini vacation from Peter’s body.  
The passing vistas and palm trees zoom by as I absentmindedly reach my hands underneath my shirt and begin rubbing and feeling Peter’s body.  I know I’ll be feeling this body from the other side, but I’ll miss the feeling of ownership and possession.  Something about feeling Peter Van der Veen’s abs and squeezing those massive pecs with his own strong hands was immensely satisfying.  Taking over strong men and making them my hosts…my vessels…will always be my drug of choice.  
“We’re here, Mister,” the taxi driver says, looking at me with an odd expression as I realize I’m still circling Peter’s hard nipples.  I swoop my hands out from under Peter’s shirt, unable to help but go a little red in the face as I awkwardly thank and pay the guy.  I pull out Peter’s wallet, so comfortable now seeing his ID and associating that image and identity as my own.  That’s when you know you’ve found a keeper, when you look at your host’s ID and instinctively think, “Damn, I look hella fine.” 
I tipped the guy well to mask the awkwardness and walked over to the front door, suitcases in tow.  There was a note on the front door telling me to come on in and meet my new employers in the back.  The note said to just keep on following the central corridor until I reached them.   Opening the door, I was blown away by the extravagance of this massive and modern mansion.  
“What a great place to vacation,” I said aloud to myself in shock as I plopped my bags on the marble floor, closed the door, and began the long walk down the central hallway.  I passed by massive living and entertaining rooms, all decked out with expensive art, impeccable decoration, and state of the art technology.  The kitchen and dining room was as large as most people’s whole apartments, and I think I walked passed a whole new set of entertainment and party/recreational rooms.  It was simply unbelievable, but I got pulled back to reality as I heard light moaning emanating from the last room at the end of the hall.  
The moaning was definitely deep, low, and masculine.  Judging by the videos I had watched during my research, I knew it was Bastian who was cooing and making those sweet sounds of pleasure.  I could hear him faintly egging on what I can only assume was his wife, Maria.  That accent was still distinctly German, and thought some people thought it was a little harsh, I shivered from its foreign and exotic appeal.  I had never taken over a foreigner before, so I wondered if I would have the joy of speaking with such a German flare.   I kept walking cautiously towards the moans, concerned that I was going to interrupt a particularly private and intimate moment.  Still, I advanced.  That’s one of the great things about Peter’s body.  I’m this massive tank of toned muscle, but he is so light on his feet.  I barely make a sound as I walk right up to the cracked door and slowly push it open as I walk inside.  
“Huh?” I asked aloud as I creaked the door open and saw Bastian, shirtless and laying down on a medical table as his wife performed a spa facial.  She was dressed and made up to the nth degree with her pink mini dress, pumps, and full make up while she massaged her husband’s face, working the active ingredients deep into his skin that would help maintain his youth.  He clearly found the experience very pleasurable as the sounds coming out of his mouth were almost orgasmic.  
“That must be you, Peter,” he said in his sweet German accent and without even opening his eyes.  
“We’re just finishing the last step,” Maria said with a smile as she spread the remaining moisture serum down his neck before clicking a button that brought the reclined medical table back up to a chair-like angle.  
Bastian finally opened his eyes as he smiled at me, happy to see that he had been able to afford my services.  My host was, after all, the most sought out bodyguard in Hollywood.  
“Maria, can you give us some time?  I need to show him the house and talk about the next three months.  Here’s some cash–go buy something pretty,” he said as he casually handed her a thick strap of hundred dollar bills.  She was almost giddy with joy as she collected the multi-thousand dollar wad of cash and left to go shop to her heart’s content at her favorite designer stores.   “Now, that frees up some time for just us guys,” he said with a cheeky grin as he got up off the table and put his shirt back on.  
This was going too perfectly.  I tried to suppress my own giddy grin as he began to show me around the house, when like he said, it was just us guys.
69 notes · View notes
maylovexhs · 4 years
Text
everytime - LOVE IS A WILD THING (Chp. 27)
Author’s Note: The last chapter of July everytime month. All I gotta say is, get ready for a roller coaster for what I have planned next. Enjoy this chapter in the meantime -May
Catch up on everytime here
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August 28th, 2019.
I’m not in love with Y/N. I’m not. What I felt two days ago was just out of sympathy. She was in pain and I felt sorry for her and that was it. There was nothing more to it. Besides, my heart jolted for other times before. Nothing came of that either. I didn’t have any deeper feelings for her after and I don’t now. We are just two friends who casually have heart stringed conversations. We are just friends. 
Y/N’s a friend. She will always be a friend.
“There you are!” Y/N said, walking towards us in the hallway. “For a second, I thought security stopped you”
My mother greeted Y/N with a hug.
“Oh, darling. You look absolutely gorgeous” My mother said, complimenting Y/N on her red stage outfit.
“Thank you” Y/N said. “It’s special for tonight”
“Let me guess. . .” I said. “McQueen?”
“Actually, it’s David Koma” Y/N said. “But close enough”
“We wanted to come earlier but Harry got a bit held up” My mother said.
In my defense, I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t in love with Y/N but I won’t say anything.
“Oh, it’s no worry” Y/N said. “You missed nothing really. Just Adrian putting my hair up in space buns”
“You look good with them” I told her.
“Thanks” Y/N said, lightly touching one space bun of hers. “I was about to go watch Kim Petras open. Do you-“
“Oh, we would love to watch” My mother said, not giving me a choice. “Do you mind if I get something to drink first?”
“Oh, of course!” I said to her. “I have cold water in my dressing room if you want. I could get it for you”
“Or I’ll just get it” I offered. “I’ve been here before. I know this place inside and out”
“You don’t have to do that, H” Y/N said to me. “It’s my show. I’ll take care of it”
“Water’s good? Or do you want something else?”
“Water’s alright, darling” My mother said.
Y/N nodded. I watched her walk away and down the hall, entering a door. I looked to my mother, feeling her staring at me.
“What?” I asked her.
“Oh, nothing, nothing” My mother said, lying. “It’s just . . .When did we meet Y/N? Wasn’t it backstage at the-“
“Brits?” I answered for her. 
“Ah, yes” My mother said, remembering. “You introduced us. You invited her to a party after, right?”
“Mhmm” I nodded. “Didn’t think she would have come if Nick wasn’t there”
My mother smiled to herself, as if she was keeping a secret.
“I could never forget the look on your face when you saw her” My mother said. “Completely mesmerized by her”
“I was not” I said, crossing my arms. “I was nervous. She was a big thing before as she is now”
“I know but this was different” My mother said. “I’ve never seen you look at any other girl before like her”
I bit my lip, hoping for my mother to change the topic before I had to.
“Almost love at first sight” My mother said. “Couldn’t mistake that look for anything else”
“Mom, I already said I’m not in love with Y/N” I told her. “I’m not going through this conversation again”
“Alright, alright” My mother said, giving up. “I was just remembering that night. We are in the same place after all. It’s been six years, haven’t it?”
“Yup” I said. “Six years”
“But that’s not when you met her?” My mother asked me. “You met her before I did, didn’t you?”
I did. I did for a quick moment before the Brits. It was 2012, when I was with Taylor. It was after a concert - The Jingle Ball. Taylor performed and I did too with the boys. I remember standing outside Taylor’s dressing room when I first saw Y/N. Y/N with her bleached blonde hair.
I smiled to myself. 
I remember it all.
December 7th, 2012.
“Twenty-three cupcakes” I said, confirming on the phone. “Yeah, I need them by the 13th in the morning”
I watched as a few people passed up and down the hall. I stood to the side of the wall, letting them walk.
“Yeah” I said. “Thank you”
I hung up my phone, holding it in both of my hands. I swept my hair in front as I scrolled down my contact list, looking for my mother.
“I just don’t understand” I heard a woman ask down the hall. “Why not?”
I looked up from my phone to down the hall, hearing the sound of a person in heels walking towards me. A man who looked familiar, walked down the hallway. A woman with blonde wavy hair followed behind him. Y/N. It was Y/N. Y/N as in the singer and friend of Nick’s. When did she become blonde?
“Why won’t you let me meet them?” Y/N asked behind him. “You met my parents”
“Baby steps” Dominic said.
“Baby steps” Y/N said, rolling her eyes. “I am taking baby steps. It’s been two months since you met mine!”
Dominic turned around to her.
“I’ve been busy” Dominic said. “You know I’ve been busy filming”
“But that hasn’t stopped you from going to your friends almost every night?” Y/N asked him. “Are you really going to your friends every night?”
“I’m not going through this right now” Dominic said, turning away.
“Do you love me?” Y/N asked him. “Because if you don’t, why are you here? Why am I here?”
“I do” Dominic said. “You know I do, it’s just-“
“Just what?” Y/N asked. “Just you not introducing me to your friends? Family? You hiding things from me? What is it because I’m god damn tired of pretending everything is fine when it’s not”
Dominic looked to me. I immediately looked down to my phone, pretending as if I wasn’t listening or didn’t exist.
“I can’t talk to you here” Dominic said. “Come on, let’s go”
Dominic walked passed me before stopping and turning around.
“Are you coming?” He asked Y/N.
“Yeah, yeah . . .” Y/N said in an uncertain voice. “Just wanna say hi to a friend. Wait for me in the car”
Dominic walked away. I looked up for a second, locking eyes with Y/N. I looked back down, hoping she would walk away. 
She didn’t.
“I know you” Y/N said. “You’re from that band. . . What’s the name? One-“
“One Direction?” I answered, looking up to her. 
“Yeah” She said, nodding. “I’m Y/N”
“Y/N. . . I knew that” I said. 
Y/N squinted her eyes at me.
“I mean, I’m a big fan of yours” I told her. “I’m Harry”
“Nice to meet you, Harry” Y/N said, smirking. 
Y/N moved closer to me. She stood against the wall, next to me.
“Sorry about the whole thing you heard” Y/N apologized. “We’re having one of those bad days”
“One bad day?” I asked her.
“Well, more like two weeks but . . . Sorry you had to hear that” Y/N said.
“Oh, it’s no worry” I told her. “I won’t tell anyone about it. Know how that feels”
“Thanks” Y/N said. “Means a lot”
I nodded. I stood there for a moment, wondering if she was going to say anything back to me. I figured she wasn’t by the disappointed look on her face. 
I bit my lip, feeling a little sympathy for her. I knew I didn’t know much about her but I knew one thing - her boyfriend was an ass. And nobody deserves to be with an ass.
I smiled, having an idea.
“You’re not supposed to perform tonight, weren’t you?” I asked her.
“Me?” Y/N asked, looking up to me. “Oh, no. Just wanted to see one of the performers with my boyfriend”
“Really?” I asked her. “Which one?”
“Ed Sheeran” She said. “Do you know him?”
“Ed?” I asked, smiling. “He’s my best friend”
Y/N smiled, surprised.
“He is?” She asked. 
“Yeah” I said. “Been friends for almost a year.”
“Seriously?” Y/N asked me. “How is he?”
“A drunk” I admitted.
Y/N chuckled at my joke.
“But he’s there when you need him” I said. “Which song do you like from him?”
“Oh, there’s a few” I said. “Give me love is a good one. So is you and I”
“You and I?” I asked her. “I like that one too. I could introduce you to him if you like”
“Oh, that would be so great . . .” Y/N’s excitement quickly faded away. “But I have someone waiting on me”
“Oh, right. . .” I said. 
“Yup” Y/N said, snapping back to being cheerful. “But it was cool meeting you, Harry”
“Call me H” I told her.
She smiled to herself.
“H” She said, nodding.
I smiled at her. We didn’t say anything for a moment except staring at each other in the eyes. Were her eyes naturally that big or was she wearing contacts? Either way, I felt drawn to her for some reason.
“I should get going” Y/N said. “Tell Taylor I said hi” 
“Uh, yeah” I said, nervous. “I will!”
Y/N bit her lip, smirking. She walked away, taking a few steps before stopping. She turned around to me.
“I’ll see you around” She said. “Hopefully”
“See you around” I repeated back to her.
She nodded. She turned back around, walking away. I watched her walk down the hall and out of sight. I felt my heart give a light jolt. I looked down to my hands. Why were they sweaty?
I heard a door closing behind me.
“Ready to go?” I heard Taylor ask.
I turned around to her.
“Uh, yeah” I said. “Are you?”
“Unless someone stops me. . .” Taylor said, putting her coat on. “Ready”
I started to walk down the hall with Taylor. I looked down to my hands.
“What’s wrong?” She asked me.
“Oh, nothing, nothing” I said, looking up to her. “I have a question. Do you want to meet my parents?”
Present Day.
“I take that smile as a yes?” My mother asked me.
I looked to her, snapping out of my memories.
“Yeah” I said. “Yeah, I did”
“I’m back!” Y/N said, walking towards us with three water bottles in her hands.
“Take one” Y/N said, handing me a bottle and one to my mother.
I looked at Y/N’s eyes as she talked to my mother. It was never because of contacts.
“Thank you” My mother said.
“No thanks needed” Y/N said. “Just normal hospitality”
I looked to my mother when Y/N looked to me.
“Umm, shall we go watch then?” I asked them.
“After you” My mother said to Y/N.
“Gladly” Y/N said, walking away.
My mother followed her. I stood there, remembering the first time we met. Y/N and my mother turned to me, noticing I wasn’t walking.
“You coming, H?” Y/N asked me.
“Uh, yeah” I said, walking. “Yeah, I’m coming”
Six years. Six years later and I’m best friends with Y/N. Who would have thought that?
Later. . .
“How are we feeling so far?” Y/N asked, looking out on the crowd.
“You’re sad?” Y/N asked one of the fans. “Why are you sad?”
Y/N waited a few seconds, listening to the fan.
“Oh, because you don’t want tonight to end?” Y/N said. “Neither do I!”
I watched Y/N walk back to her microphone stand.
“But the show must go on!” Y/N said. “That’s show business!”
I smiled to myself. That’s my line.
Anyways, the night was going good so far. My mother, Y/N and I watched Kim Petras open the show. She’s pretty badass. I could see Y/N’s appeal for her. As for me, I felt no weird heartbeat towards Y/N. I was content I didn’t feel any yet. It meant I was correct about my feelings for her. I was just feeling sympathy for her in the end.
“Umm, I wrote this next one a few years ago” Y/N said. “It’s one of my favorites I ever wrote and it took me forever to put it out but I finally did”
The instrumentals of the beginning of the song began to play.
“This is ‘Is There Somewhere?’” Y/N said.
The crowd cheered in excitement. I looked to my mother who was taking a photo of Y/N on her phone.
“You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room, flashing those eyes like highway signs” Y/N sang in an angelic tone. “Light one up and hand it over. Rest your head upon my shoulder . . . I just wanna feel your lips against my skin”
Y/N closed her eyes, feeling out the song.
“White sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth, and the night life. You told me this is right where it begins” Y/N sang, her eyebrows arching as she was in pain. “But your lips hang heavy underneath me, and I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me”
Y/N opened her eyes, looking out on the crowd.
“I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go. Is there somewhere you can meet me?” Y/N sang, having a melancholy tone in her voice. “Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings, and you clutched my brain and eased my ailing” 
The beat kicked up as Y/N removed her microphone from the stand.
“You're writing lines about me; romantic poetry” Y/N sang, slowly walking towards the front edge of the stage. “Your girl's got red in her cheeks, 'cause we're something she can't see”
Y/N stood right in front of the stairs to go down the catwalk. She took a moment to look a fan in the crowd.
“And I try to refrain but you're stuck in my brain” She continued to sing. ”And all I do is cry and complain because second's not the same”
Y/N walked down the stairs, causing the audience to cheer more than before. Y/N quickly walked down the catwalk, holding hands with fans here and there for a second. Before I knew it, Y/N was already near the square B stage.
“I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight” Y/N sang, walking up the stairs to the stage. “I didn't mean to fall in love tonight”
Y/N looked at the fans around the stage.
“You're looking like you fell in love tonight” Y/N sang to a fan. ��“Could we pretend that we're in love?”
Y/N looked in my direction. She smiled once she saw me.
“I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight” She sang. “I didn't mean to fall in love tonight”
I felt a jolt run through my heart. The same jolt I felt from yesterday.
“You're looking like you fell in love tonight” Y/N sang, kneeling down to be closer to the fans in front of her. “Could we pretend that we're in love?”
The lights went pitch black for a few seconds as the song finished. I looked down, feeling my heart jolt another time. 
Oh, fuck.
Later. . .
Okay. I was acting like I was eighteen again around Y/N. The same eighteen year old who might had have a little crush on her but that didn't mean anything. I'm not in love with Y/N. I'm pretty sure I would be jealous if I did. I felt jealous when Kendall or Camille was hanging out with other guys. But not with Y/N. Never with Y/N.
"You're sure you don't want to stay with Y/N after?" My mom asked me. "I could get a ride-"
"Oh, no" I shook my head at her. "I'll go home with you. Just want to say goodbye to her first"
I spotted Y/N walking towards us from down the hall. She smiled at the sight of us, walking over.
“Hi!” My mother said to Y/N. “You were wonderful tonight”
“Thanks” Y/N said. “I would hug you but I’m all sweaty”
I nodded, being in her same place hundreds of times before.
“We were about to head out" I said to Y/N. "I gotta make sure I get this one home and-"
“Wait” Y/N said to us. “I have something to give you”
"Something?" I asked her.
"Just give me a minute" Y/N said, smiling.
Y/N walked away from us and into her dressing room. She returned a moment later with a book in her hand.
“Here” She said, handing me the book. “Just Kids. Patti Smith.”
I looked down at the book's cover. A picture of a curly haired man and a woman was on the front.
“It’s one of my favorites” Y/N said. “The only book to make me cry. I read it a hundred of times before. I thought I would give it to someone who I knew would love it as much as I did"
I smiled, looking back up to her.
“Are you sure?” I asked her.
“Positive” She said. “Anyways, I have another copy at home and I have Jie Lin and Ali coming to visit soon. Won't need to read when they’re keeping me company.”
"I'll add it to my list" I said to her.
Y/N smiled at me before reaching up to hug me.
“Thanks for being there for me” Y/N said, squeezing me a little tighter. "For the last few days and everything else"
I smiled slowly, feeling my heart jolt again.
"Thanks for being my best friend” Y/N said. "Like, actually being my best friend"
"It's never a problem" I said. "I'll always be here for you. Whenever you need"
Y/N pulled back, smiling at me. The same smile she had when she cried to me a day ago.
Best friend. I was her best friend and she was my best friend . . . right?
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queenxxxsupreme · 4 years
Text
Steve Rogers with Fluff #12
Prompt-”Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.” For @romancebibliophilia
***
“Come on, Y/N. Go talk to him.” Hill nudged you in the shoulder. 
You sat on a sofa in the living room of the Avengers’ Tower with Hill on one side of you and Wanda on the other. It was a Friday night and Tony decided he wanted to throw a last minute party. The floor was packed with people and the lights were dim. Music played in the background but the bass rattled the floor.
For nearly the entire night, Hill and Wanda had been trying to get you to go talk to Steve. They knew how much you adored the Captain and saw the lingering looks and the little smiles you had when he looked in your direction. Natasha, Pepper, and Hope had yet to join Wanda and Hill in peer pressuring you.
“No, Maria. I-I can’t.” You shook your head, looking down at your drink. It was the same one you’d had all night. You were too afraid to drink something and then be too intoxicated to stop the ladies from talking you into saying something to Steve.
“Why not?” Wanda tilted her head to the side a little.
“He’s been talking to Sharon all night.” You did your best to hide the frown that wanted to creep on to your lips. You glanced over your shoulder in the direction of the bar. Steve was leaning against the bar in front of Sharon Carter, who was sitting on a bar stool. 
“So? He can talk to someone else.” Hill said. 
“Natasha.” You sighed, looking over to your close friend.
“Don’t Natasha me.” The redhead shook her head. “I agree with them.” She gestured to Hill and Wanda with her beer.
You groaned and sunk back into the sofa. 
“Come on, Y/N.” Pepper gave you a warm smile. “You’re great friends with Steve. You two would be absolutely adorable together.”
“What-What do I even say?” You furrowed your brows together as you looked at her. She had been like a mother-figure to you since you joined the Avengers. She was always kind and supportive of your decisions. 
“Just go ask him to dance with you.”
“Ask who to dance with who?” Tony moved to sit on the arm of Pepper’s chair.
Your cheeks flushed and you dropped your gaze to your drink.
You were thankful the girls had fallen silent, none of them willing to speak out loud about your crush.
But Tony didn’t need anyone to say anything. He saw the way you blushed and looked down at your drink.
“You gonna ask the Cap to dance, kid?” 
Your head shot up to meet Tony’s gaze.
“Me? Oh, no. No. Definitely not.” You laughed awkwardly. 
“Why not?” He asked. 
“Because he…. Because he’s with Sharon.”
Tony looked pass you to the bar.
“I can solve that.” He grinned. “Hey, Rogers!” 
Your eyes widened as you looked to Wanda, who grinned. Your hand flew out to clasp her arm. 
“Come over here for a quick sec.”
“Oh my god.” You whispered, bringing your eyes to Tony. “I hate you. I hate you so much.”
“You’ll thank me three years from now when you’ve got three kids and a husband.” Tony snickered.
“Good evening, ladies.” Steve, always the gentlemen, greeted the women sitting around on the furniture. You couldn’t help but glance up at him. He stood just on the other side of Wanda at the end of the sofa. He smiled down at you before looking at Tony.  “What can I do for you, Stark?”
“I’ve got a question. And I’m only curious here. Are you and Thirteen a thing?”
Steve’s eyes widened and his lips parted. You immediately looked away, not wanting him to see your face when you heard him confirm what you thought. 
“I…. erm…. No, we-we aren’t a thing.”
“Oh, thank god.” Tony dramatically put his had over his heart. “‘Cause with the whole thing between you and my Aunt Peggy would make you and Thirteen weird-,”
“Tony.” Natasha cut him off, warning him not to continue.
“But I don’t think she’s good for you anyway.” Tony shook his head. “I actually have another person in mind-,”
You stood to your feet abruptly and placed your beer down on the coffee table a little harder than you probably should’ve. Without looking to see everyone’s reaction, you left the area, speed walking towards the elevator.
“Way to go, Stark.” Hill raised her beer and nodded to him. “Scared her away. I was so close to talking her into doing it too.”
“Doing what?” Steve looked from Tony to Hill. The latter focused on the label to her drink while Tony shrugged his shoulders. “You’re not funny, Stark. What did you do?”
“I didn’t do shit!” Tony held his hands up. “But you should probably go check on her.”
Steve sighed heavily, placing his drink down next to yours on the coffee table before he followed you.
***
You had already made it out of the Tower before Steve even had a chance to catch up to you. 
It was past 10p.m. and the streets were practically dead. It was chilly and a little windy. You shivered, pulling your phone out of the pocket of your jeans. You were about to text Wanda when you heard him call your name.
“Y/N!”
You looked to see him moving towards you. You took a few deep breaths, telling yourself that it was going to be okay and that you could face him.
“Steve.” You said his name softly. Even in the dull lighting provided by the street lamps, you could see just how stunning and exquisite the man was. The dark gray long sleeve he wore squeezed his muscles and hugged his toned torso in the best way. The dark jeans he wore were snug, complimenting his strong, muscular thighs. Hell, even the way his blonde hair looked a little messy like he’d run his fingers through it a lot made him look almost angelic.
“I-I don’t know what Tony told you but I-I just-I want you to know that it’s completely okay if you don’t feel the same way. I-I will be okay. We can-can still be friends.”
He stopped a few feet away from you, his brows drawn together as he took in what you had just said. 
“Still be friends?”
Your heart sunk as you realized he didn’t know what you were talking about. Tony hadn’t told him. In a way, you wish he had.
“What-What did he tell you?”
“He didn’t tell me anything. Did he do something to upset you?”
You turned away from him, your hand that wasn’t holding your phone came up to cover your mouth. Now you had no choice but to say it out loud, to admit that you liked him. 
“Y/N.” Steve murmured your name, stepping towards you hesitantly. “What do you mean we can still be friends?”
You shook your head, swallowing the lump in your throat as you forced yourself to face him. Now he was within touching distance. If you just lifted your hand, you could touch him.
“I’m such an idiot.” You sighed out. “I-I thought Tony told you that I…. that I like you.”
Steve watched you for a few moments with those beautiful blue eyes you adored. But when he said nothing, it only drove you crazy.
“But it’s like I said. We can be friends if you don’t feel the same way. I can do friends. Friends are good. You-You’re a friend I don’t want to lose.”
“Y/N, you’ll never lose me.” His words were warm and comforting. “You’re one of my closest friends. You don't have to be afraid to tell me how you feel, because I’m pretty positive I feel the same.”
Your phone slipped from your hands as you brought them up to cover your mouth. You were in shock for a split second until you realized he was looking down at your phone. You looked down to see the screen had lit up to reveal your lockscreen. 
“Shit.” You cursed, hastily picking the device up. 
“Am I…. Am I your lockscreen?” Steve asked, a little grin forming on his lips. 
“It’s-It’s definitely not what you think.” You shook your head. “It’s that picture of you, like, three months ago, passed out in the jet and Bucky is making bunny ears behind your head.”
You tapped the screen to show him.
“I-I thought it was cute, but I don’t want you to think I’m weird or anything. I didn’t-,”
“It’s okay.” Steve closed the space between you two and wrapped an arm around your waist. “I think it’s cute.”
He dipped his head down to seal a kiss on your lips.
Taglist: @isothetic @jennylovelyheart @romancebibliophilia
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