#(also the problem is this behaviour has been going on FOR YEARS and while i am nearing the end of my rope they are continuing as normal) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sebscore · 1 year

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the other drivers finding a hickey on gen z driver! reader and trying to find out who gave it to her it would be so funny😭😭

WHAT HAPPENS IN MONACO, STAYS IN MONACO

pairing: f1 grid x driver!reader

warnings: hickey. innuendos. rushed writing (lol, I wrote this in the middle of the night so cut me some slack pls).

author's note: thanks for the request! I know this has been in my drafts for a long time so I'm very sorry that it took me a while!! hope you still see this <3 also thank you to @12-seconds-to-live for the title inspo!

masterlist

• • • • • • •

The Monaco Grand Prix was always one of the highlights of the season- the prestige and luxury it brought forward was matched by no other race.

It was also the home of many F1 drivers, including herself. So it wasn't too out of the ordinary for a bunch of them to get together and celebrate in one of the many clubs the city had to offer.

''Y/N, we're going out later tonight, wanna join?'' Pierre asked her, all of their media duties done for the day. Lando, Charles, Max, George and Alex amusingly looked at her, already knowing she would never pass the opportunity to party.

She scrunched her nose, feeling the teasing coming from a mile away. ''I, uh, actually have other plans.''

''What do you mean you have other plans?'' The frowns on the guys' faces didn't do their obvious confusion justice. ''You're seriously saying no to a party with us?'' George was flabbergasted, he had known her for years and in all that time she had never refused.

''I am saying no this time.'' Y/N chuckled, their faces too funny not to laugh at.

''Even the girls are coming,'' Lando said, referring to their girlfriends, ''you can say no to us, but you surely can't say no to them.'' He tried convincing her, knowing about her soft spot for their girls.

Y/N loudly sighed, glancing away for a moment. ''I already told Lily I wasn't coming so that won't be a problem.''

''She didn't tell me that.'' Alex argued, almost offended by his girlfriend not informing him.

The young woman glimpsed at him, a smirk on her face. ''Well, there are many things she doesn't tell you that she tells me, Albono.'' She ended her sentence with a wink to the Williams driver.

Her comment had temporarily taken the focus off of her dismissal to party as the drivers laughed and poked some fun at Alex, but Charles wouldn't let her get away with it just yet. ''But what are those other plans you have, Y/N?''

''I just have better things to do, guys.'' She said, making an advance to leave the paddock and go home for the day.

''Like what?'' Max asked, puzzled by her vague answer.

''I don't know, my friend didn't say his name.'' She grinned from ear-to-ear, quickly waving them goodbye before they could stop her and tease her for going on a blind date with someone.

Y/N could hear the commotion they made as she walked away, secretly smiling to herself. ''I can't believe she's dumping us for some guy.'' She swore it was Lando who said it.

Walking into the driver's briefing the next day hadn't been like the usual days. Normally, she walked in, greeted everyone and sat down on a random chair. However this time, it went a little different.

Y/N walked into the room and greeted everyone, nothing out of the ordinary. But instead of a symphony of excited and dismissed greetings back, she was met with smirks and chuckles from her fellow drivers.

''What is it?'' She asked them, not sitting down before she had an answer.

Yet, they continued acting like teenagers and giggled amongst themselves, not giving her an explanation for their weird behaviour.

Daniel was the first one to have mercy on her and spoke up. ''You had fun last night?'' The raised eyebrow didn't go unnoticed, the Australian referring to her blind date from the night before that the other must have informed the entire grid about before she arrived.

''It was alright.'' She merely said, finally sitting down on the chair next to Lewis who didn't seem to be very invested as he typed something on his phone.

''Just alright? Cause it seems like you were busy.'' Lando continued the teasing, weirdly putting his hand on the side of his neck.

Y/N frowned at his action. ''I have no idea what you're talking about and stop acting like an idiot.'' She awkwardly chuckled, unnerved by everything.

''You're the only clueless idiot in the room right now, I'm afraid.'' George commented, smiling a bit too bright in her opinion.

''I'm totally confused.'' She let out, not hiding her confusion any longer.

Lewis scratched his voice, not taking his eyes off his phone. ''We can see the hickey on your neck.'' He revealed to her, matter-of-factly.

Y/N's eyes widened, immediately hiding her neck into her sweater while she could feel her head heating up due to embarrassment. ''I just walked past all the reporters- oh my god!'' She exclaimed, angry at herself for giving them any kind of news they could gossip about.

''I'm so happy it's not me this time.'' Lando laughed, victoriously throwing his hands in the air.

''You're the victim of the week, kiddo.'' Valtteri ruffled her hair, sitting on the chair behind her and his former teammate. She weakly smiled at him, mortified at what her team's press officer was going to say about this.

A figure taking the space on the other side of her brought the woman out of her thoughts, glancing beside her, she found Mick's comforting smile. ''Don't listen to them,'' he whispered, ''so, tell me about it! Is he a nice guy?'' Mick couldn't help but be curious, they have been good friends for years.

Y/N snorted, quickly covering her mouth. ''I don't know, there wasn't much talking, to be honest.''

''Okay, gross.''

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#f1 fic #f1 fics #f1 x reader #formula 1 fic #f1 x oc #female f1 driver #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #formula one fics #formula 1 fanfic

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vroomvro0mferrari · 2 months

Text

LN4 | Yeah

Summary: After many failed dates, Lando is always the one to comfort you. Perhaps it's time you look for love in a different place, in someone you already know?

Lando Norris x Reader

WC: 1.0K

Warnings: Curse words, if that’s even a warning.

Masterlist

"Is she okay?" Max said as he saw you storming into the home you shared with him and Lando. You had just come back from a date and let’s just say it did not end well. You had been dating Jack for a while, but he was just expecting too much from you, so you broke up. This was the umpteenth boy that was.

You jumped on your bed, face down, and groaned. Would you ever stay together with someone for longer than a month? Probably not. You twisted around in your bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Not being able to find one, you decide to get into your pyjamas first and take your makeup off.

As you finally finished, you plopped on your bed once again, hearing the boys whisper outside your door. They always tried their best to take of you, especially when your behaviour was worrying them, like now. As expected, soon after, a knock came. "Hey love, ‘re you okay? Can I come in?" – it was Lando, Max had pushed him in to confront you because he knew you the longest and the best out of the two of them – or at least that's what he told Lando to convince him.

You just grumbled as an answer, Lando took it as a yes and walked in silently, moving to lay next to you on the bed. He held his arm out for you to lay on as he asked you: "What happened?" As soon as he stretched his arm out you were cuddling into him. "We’re over.", you said, hiding your face in his chest.

"I’m sorry." He said, holding you a little tighter. "'T is alright." you said acting as though it didn’t have any effect on you, as always. And to be honest, it didn't impact you as much as it should have: you knew it wasn't going to last.

Nevertheless, this wasn’t an irregular event for the two of you. You had been through numerous break-ups in the one-and-a-half year you’ve been living with the boys, and after every one of them, Lando would always be there to comfort you.

You hated that every single one of your relationships – if you could even call them that – would always end the same way: they wanted something you couldn’t give them. You had figured it out by now; after so many break-ups, you had come to the conclusion that you were the problem and you’d end up alone. It would end after about a month every single time. Why? Because you couldn’t let them in.

You have never been really lucky relationship-wise. The very few times you found someone you allowed in, they’d leave you heartbroken. Because of that, you haven’t been able to do it again, afraid of the same thing happening once more.

“Maybe you should try to find a different type of guy. I think that could help.” Lando said, trying his best to be helpful. He knows where your relationships are getting stuck; you had confessed to him, although it took much convincing to get you to finally admit it. Also, he has enough of this being a regular occurrence, so he will give any suggestion he can come up with to ensure you don't come home disappointed from your dates any longer.

"How would a different type of guy help? I’m the one who can’t open up. I’m the issue.” You mumbled with your head still hiding in his chest.

“I don’t think that’s true. If you don’t feel like you can open yourself up, then the guy is not right for you. Maybe you should try picking guys up someplace other than the club or online.”

“Are you really questioning my choice of men?” you ask Lando, lifting your head up to look at him, squinting your eyes. Who is he to say you're choosing the wrong people? It's not as if he's picking the greatest, most wonderful girls for dating.

“Well, so far it’s not really working out it, is it?”

The look you gave him said enough, but really, you knew he was right.

“Look, I know it’s your decision to make but every time you come back from those dates disappointed, and I think you deserve better than that. Don’t you agree?” He waited for you to answer, but you were unresponsive as you put your head back down on Lando’s chest. “So, maybe it’s time to look elsewhere.”

“Where am I supposed to meet guys then?”

Lando thought for a second. He thought about how maybe you didn’t need to meet a new guy, that maybe you should look at the people already around you. At the people you had already let in, and who hadn’t broken your heart. But he couldn’t say that straight out. You would ask him what he meant, who he was talking about: was he referring to himself? He'd say no, but you'd look straight through him. He knew you well enough to know how well you knew him.

“I don’t know. Your work? At the shops?” Should he say it? If he brought it up naturally, maybe you wouldn’t notice he was talking about himself. Fuck it.

“Maybe you’ve already met someone you could be in a relationship with, but you haven’t realised it.”

You looked up again, brows furrowed. “What on earth does that mean?”

Lando shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe you could fall in love with someone you already know, someone you’ve already let in, someone you’re already friends with.” He mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

You looked at him while you thought about it. “And who would that be?”

Silence.

“You?” You continued.

Fuck. Of course, you’d know Lando was talking about himself. He expected no differently, although he had hoped, and wished, you didn't realise it so quickly.

“Someone like me, yeah.” Lando responded, still looking away.

“Someone like you, or you?” You whispered.

He finally looked at you. “Maybe me.”

“Yeah?” You responded, holding the eye contact.

“Yeah”

You thought about it for a short moment, and came to your conclusion; “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”, you confirmed.

Silence, again. But this time he held your eye.

“Can I kiss you?” You whispered.

“Yeah.”

#Lando Norris #Lando #Norris #fanfic #fanfiction #Lando Norris fanfic #Lando Norris fanfiction #Lando x reader #Lando x Y/N #Formula 1 #Formula 1 fanfic #F1 #F1 fanfic #LN4 x reader #LN4 x Y/N #LN4 imagine #LN4 one shot #LN4 fanfic #friends to lovers

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arcanealora · 2 months

Text

OBSESSED

pairing : Taehyung x female reader

genre : smut, dark romance (?), stalker au

rating : 18+

warnings : explicit language, stalking, hidden cameras, self pleasurings, rough making out, smut smut smut!, dom! Tae, sub! reader, unprotected sex (this is fiction don't take any risks!), little dirty talks, fingering, over stimulation, countless orgasms, champagne confetti (squirting lol), d!ck riding, rough sex (because Taehyung goes out of control), Taehyung is your enemy (atleast he pretends to be).

"FUCK YOU!" you yell at the top of your lungs, fuming with rage. Taehyung grabs your arm and pulls you in a corner of the club, "Your house or mine?" the smug attitude not leaving his face while he leans in to whisper these words in your ears. You push him away and let out a scoff, "Go fuck the girls you were dancing with earlier." you look away not letting him guess the jealousy on your face. "Why are you behaving like you are my girlfriend?" Taehyung asks making you look at him. "Eww I would rather die than be your girlfriend," you make a disgusted face making him scoff. "Feelings are mutual," he speaks before leaving you alone at that corner and goes for a drink.

You and Taehyung met a year ago in this same club through mutual friends and the first meet itself was a disaster. You have punched his face thinking that he stalked you to the club and in return he threw a glass of wine on your brand new dress, you both have never been on good terms since then. Your close friend Jimin, who is also his best friend, always tried to spark a friendship between you two but it always ended in something worse.

Lately, he has been acting very differently. He flirts, acts weird when you get close with someone and you have a feeling that he stalks you everytime you leave the club. Last week, you threw a house warming party and also invited him as you decided to end the beef but somehow things didn't end well because he introduced himself as your boyfriend to your parents when you had already told them you are single. Not that you parents have any problem with you having a boyfriend, you are an adult and mature enough, but they thought you lied to them. Hence, you and Taehyung got into a heated argument when he confessed that he just wanted to take the revenge of that punch you gave him a year ago like he already didn't mess with you enough.

And now you are confused as hell with all his behaviours, sometimes he acts like a jerk and sometimes he behaves like he owns you. You hate to admit but you have a soft corner for him, he is totally your type.

You hang your purse on your shoulder and walk towards the exit until he stops you, "What now?" Instead of talking, he comes closer to you and stroke your cheeks lightly with his long fingers. "Are you this drunk to act so soft with me now?" you snort. "beautiful," he breaths, "you look beautiful." There he goes again. "Hey, are you really drunk?" you furrow your eyebrows.

He chuckles softly and stops stroking your cheeks. "Don't you....," he brings his fingers to your lips, lightly brushing his thumb against your lower lip, "don't you love how my fingers touch you?"

Your eyes widen for a moment, you take a deep breath to calm the sudden acceleartion in your heart beats before speaking, "you confuse me Taehyung."

"Do I?"

you nod lightly.

"I am sorry," his voice seems soft and gentle unlike how it normally sounds, he removes his hand from your face and leans back to the wall.

you sigh and look at your watch, "I am leaving now it's late, have fun but don't drink too much."

He instantly grabs your hand and pulls you closer, "Fun? I swear I wasn't trying to get close with any girl, I was just vibing at the song and they joined in. That's it. Infact when they started getting closer to me I backed off, you can ask Jimin and you know he doesn't lie."

You listen him but your mind gets dizzy by the closeness and the way he is holding you.

"I... I really don't care even if you got close with them, you don't need to explain me." you remove his hand from yours and step a little back from the closeness.

"yeah right, why would you care," he looked down for a second and then back into your eyes, "by the way, I am not drunk.... I just had a glass of wine so don't think I am making you confuse because I am drunk."

"So why are you actually confusing me?"

"I think you should leave."

"Fuck you!"

"Aren't you too eager to fuck me?" he chuckles making you frown.

"In your dreams." you roll your eyes.

"We already did" he smirks

"what?"

"in my dreams.."

"what in your dreams?"

"You were leaving right? Bye." he speaks before leaving you dumbfounded again.

"Fuck you Kim Taehyung." you mutter under your breath and leave the club.

⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕

Taehyung leaves the club soon after you, you were right... he stalks you everytime you leave the club but not today, he didn't.

He was so heated up from the earlier interactions you both had, the way your body almost pressed against his when he pulled you towards himself.... you would never know how crazy you make him just by looking into his eyes that he wants to pin you against some wall and make out roughly with you.

Well, he has some great self control or else the way you affect him, he just wants to fuck you senselessly..... everytime you were close to him, everytime you accidently touched him.... he has always went hard. And now after the club incident and the way you reacted when he touched your lips lightly, made him hard. He drives to his home and as soon as he enters his room, closing the door behind, he takes out his laptop and open some secret app. He types the long password and a blank buffering screen appears which suddenly opens the view of your room.

Yes, he did install hidden cameras in your room when you invited him for the house warming party and you never knew when he sneaked into your room. At first, he felt a little guilty so he never really tried to see anything even though he wanted to. It's been a week and he had hardly seen anything other than one time when you made him hard by sitting on his lap accidently and he couldn't control himself but that time he shut the video soon as you stripped in your room. He almost stopped breathing then, seeing you completely naked on his laptop's screen.

This time, his mind is filled with all the nasty thoughts. He is hard, he could watch porn but just seeing your naked body would make him release better than those porns.

He fidgets his fingers and tap his feet in anticipation, he sits straight when he hears the door opening sound of your room. You enter your room, closing the door behind and throw your purse on the floor, making him chuckle a little. You take off your heels and throw them aside too. You jump sit on the bed, crossing your legs and take your phone in hand. He frowns seeing you not strip out of the party dress already but little does he know that something else is waiting for him.

You scroll your phone screen but your mind still at the club interaction with Taehyung, you let out a sigh and search for his ig account. You got it quick as he was in your mutuals and his account wasn't private as well. Taehyung really didn't get any idea that you are stalking his account because he couldn't see what's on your phone screen. You keep scrolling until you reach to a video clip where he is playing piano :

youtube

you open this video and lean back on the head board of your bed, you smile a little at his dramatic reactions at first. Meanwhile, Taehyung in his room taps his feet faster, fidgeting his fingers on the table while he keeps his eyes fixed on you through the screen.

As the video goes on, his expressions and the way his fingers moves hits you a little differently.... your cheeks turns red suddenly. "Don't you love how my fingers touch you?" his words voices in your mind again and again as you see how his fingers work on the piano.. your breath gets a little heavy and you straighten up your legs... his expressions and his long fingers, the way it's working on the piano, makes your mind filled with dirty thoughts.

The video clip ends but you watch it again and again and everytime your breaths gets even heavier.... as you continue watching the video again, your hand slowly travells to your thigh.... you rub your thighs a little which makes Taehyung raise his eyebrow.

You spread your legs a little and your hand goes upward on your thigh... stroking it gently, you pull up the hem of your short dress revealing your bare thighs and your little shorts which you wore for safety reasons.

The next thing Taehyung saw was you pulling down your shorts and throwing it aside, now only in your panty. His breaths turns sharp and heavy... even with the panty on, you still managed to get him harder.

Your hand rest on your inner thigh as you continue watching the video, slowly it goes upward and now your fingers are pressed on your clothed clit. Taehyung gasps realising what exactly you are doing.

"Holy fuck," he mutters under his breath.

He leans closer to the screen, you start drawing circles on your clothed clit lightly.... his hands veins popping up by how tightly he was gripping the table as he was trying hard not to touch his hardened cock.

You start rubbing your clit hardly but your panty was still on, You paused the video and now spreaded your legs wide open, leaning back properly on the headboard as you rubbed your clit a little fast before entering a finger inside your pussy from the side of your panty.

"Take out that danm cloth y/n!" he slams the table a little hardly. His cock hardened and erect.

"Oh shittt," you whimper as you insert another finger. Taehyung's fists clench tightly, veins popping out hard and his breaths get heavy.... his cock was now painfully hard.

"Oh my god... mhmmmm..., " you moan when you bring your other hand to rub your clit.

You pause for a moment, breathing heavily... it seemed like you are trying hard but not able to get your orgasm.

Taehyung keeps looking at the screen, his eyes were filled with lust and desires, not moving away from the screen even for a second.

"cum. shit. make yourself cum," he breathed, "I wanna see that pretty reaction on your face when you cum, show me."

You resume the video clip of him and finger yourself while watching it, your eyes fixed on every move of his fingers in the video and the way he is giving those horny reactions. You move your fingers faster but still far from your orgasm.

Taehyung's eyes fixed on your fingers and your clothed clit which was slightly visible now, his mouth open a little. He was waiting not so patiently to see you cum.

"Oh my god Taehyung, fuckkkk!!!" you moaned loudly closing your eyes and fucking yourself even faster which made Taehyung widen his eyes, mouth hung open and mind blank for a moment. He gulped hard, his adam's apple bobbing, as his throat went dry. His grip on the table tightened even more.

"Repeat." he muttered under his breath almost loosing all his patience to hear you moaning his name once again to make sure he heard correct.

"T-Taehyung.... fuckkkkk, oh god.... his fingers, I need it. Fuckkk" you whine, closing your eyes tightly, completely frustrated on not being able to relax yourself with the orgasm you need.

"FUCK!" he cursed the moment he heard his name again, he stood up with a jerk making his chair fall behind and rushed out with his car keys. His breaths were hitched, heart pounding in his chest and his cock standing erect, he didn't touch it even once to calm himself down. Now, he just wants to fuck you senselessly and then will his hard cock relax. He wants only your pussy around his cock, he didn't care how painfully hard he was... he will release only inside you and he didn't think twice.

He was driving his car in insane speed, almost getting into an accident... his hands gripping the steering wheel. Frustration crazying him as he was not able to increase the speed anymore, as if it was even possible.

He stops his car by pressing the breaks harshly when he reached your house, almost crashing to the parked car outside of your house.

He quickly gets out of the car and run to ring the doorbell, you flinch hearing the doorbell at this time. It was unusual for you. You get off the bed and set your dress properly. By the time you reached the main door of your house, he had almost broke it by banging the door continuously.

You open the door revealing a heavily panting Taehyung, sweats dripping from his forehead. Your eyes widened.

"You? what-"

Before you could even complete your question he came inside and grabbed your waist pulling you into a rough kiss. You gasped, shocked and confused. He closes the door behind and turns you around, pressing you against the wall as he kisses you deeply. Your mind was completely blank but you felt melting in his kiss. You kissed him back, giving in, his lips moved against yours harshly... he bit your lower lip making you gasp lightly and entered his tongue in your mouth. His tongue rubbed your lips and then explored every corner of your mouth. The sound of your sloppy and rough kiss was clearly heard.... he was literally devouring your mouth.

You were completely breathless, in need of oxygen but he was not in a mood to leave your mouth so soon. You patted his shoulder asking him to let you breath. He sucked and bit your lips before pulling away from the kiss. You were now more surprised by how roughly he was kissing you even though when he was literally panting when he came here and now you are the one completely breathless. You panted heavily holing his shoulders and he let you calm a little before speaking,

"Now take off that little panty of yours and let me help you with what you were trying for, so hardly." he whispered leaning forward towards your ear, his words came like he is ordering you and you have no other option. You gasped at his words.

"What?" your eyes still widen from shock.

"Don't you need my fingers? You just begged for it baby and seems like your prayers has been heard" he smirks darkly.

You were not able to figure out how does he know and your words were completely stuck in your throat.

"H-how?" you stuttered not able to speak anything more.

The dark smirk was still playing on his lips as he spoke, "Only if I knew you were this needy for me, I wouldn't think twice before fucking you instead of watching you live from the hidden cameras."

Your eyes widen even more and mouth slightly open.

"Hidden what?"

"So you were serious everytime you said 'Fuck you' to me huh? What a bad girl you are, fucking yourself while imagining my fingers on you. What else do you imagine about me baby?"

your cheeks were red from embarrassment and you didn't look into his eyes so he held your chin and made you look up.

"Won't you take me to your room? I promise I will pleasure you better than you imagine... you don't need any video of mine when I am here to fuck you better than you want," he lifts you up in his arms and walks towards your room, "I will make sure to give you as many orgasms as you want."

As soon as he enters your room with you in his arms, he sits down on the bed and places you on his lap before kissing your neck.

"Strip and lay down on the bed, now." his voice completely demanding. You gulp a little as you get off from his lap and stand infront of him.

"Don't make me wait anymore, you have already made me enough impatient," he spoke indicating towards his visible bulge which made your mouth slightly open again. He chuckled at your reaction.

"Now strip but leave that panty of yours on your body," he orders and you follow his words without thinking anymore.

You take off your dress and your bra, leaving yourself only in the panty and lay down on the bed. You fidget your fingers in the nervousness, taking deep breaths.

He sits infront of your legs and spread them wide... He sucked in a deep breath when he saw the wet patches on your panty which you got earlier from rubbing your clit.

He wanted to destroy that little pussy of yours but also wanted to give you the best pleasures so he decided to take things in order. His hand strked your thighs gently and without wasting anymore time he reached your inner thighs, rubbing them with his fingers. You gasped and gasped with every touch of his.

He tried his best to control himself but the tention inside was more than enough to make him loose his mind, he took of your panty and threw it aside, you heard a gasp from him.

"Holy fuck! you are dripping from wetness.," his mouth watering at the sight infront of him, "all this for me?" he asked, his hands were very near to you heat. You nod, closing your eyes as you felt the embarrassment.

"So fucking pretty," he muttered running his fingers on your folds. A current ran through your body when he touched your heat, you whimpered lowly.

He pressed his finger on your clit and rubbed light circles on it making your chest rise with heavy and sharp breaths. He was loving the reactions you were giving him, just like he wanted.

Without wasting a single second he inserted his middle finger in your hold making you clench the bed sheets. He started pumping his fingers in and out, his thumb rubbing the soft bud as he increases the pace.

"I want to hear my name from that pretty mouth of yours, moan for me." he ordered seeing you trying to control fyourself from making any noice.

"shit! Taehyung," you finally moaned, you actually wanted to but you thought it would be embarrassing.

"How gorgeous you look moaning my name like that when I fuck you with my fingers," he groaned inserting another finger which made you gasp louder.

Your mind goes dizzy with all the pleasure and you feel yourself at the edge, "I... I will cum.." you speak between your shaky breaths.

"Cum for me princess."

You were too busy wanting your climax that you didn't actually pay attention to the nick name he just called you with.

His fingers expertly caress your bundle of nerves, causing ripples of exquisite sensations to travel through your entire being. A wetness gathers around his digits as they dance with skill on your aching clitoris and inner walls. The feeling intensifies, pushing you further beyond your limits as pleasure becomes almost unbearable but just when you think you may succumb, he increases the pressure on your peak, sending wave upon wave of bliss coursing throughout your eager body.

"Ahhh fuckkkk! Taehyung~" you moan loudly as you reach your climax and get that orgasm which you wanted from so long.

Taehyung doesn't stop, he continues to masterfully pleasure your throbbing clitoris and tenderly explore your pulsing insides, bringing you to shuddering orgasm after orgasm until the sheer ecstasy consumes you completely. Your cries fill the air as your muscles contract again and again, writhing beneath him. Yet, even amidst the rapture of climax, Taehyung doesn't slow down. His unrelenting devotion keeps the electric currents flowing through your veins, leaving you breathless and wanting more.

You feel another pool of pleasure forming inside your stomach as you keep moaning from how fast and roughly he was fingering you now.

"Oh god... Oh god... Taehyung please..." you whine but he just doesn't stop.

"yeah princess?" he asks innocently and you just shake your head.

"How badly you needed my fingers? how many times did you touch yourself imagining me huh? such a bad girl, you could have just asked me baby," his voice hoarse, "is my fingers making you feel good? is it satisfying you the way you always imagined?"

You nod your head instantly, "yess, yes... yess, Please don't stop."

He chuckles darkly before speaking, "I have no intention of stopping, not until you beg me to."

Taehyung grinds his knuckles into your overheated clit, applying a steady, relentless rhythm. Each pressurized pulse hits your sensitive area, ripple after ripple of pleasurable sensations spreading outwards. The pace quickens, as he adjusts the angle of his thrusts, finding new ways to stimulate every last inch of your core. Sweat begins to trickle down your temples and spine as your heart races faster in anticipation. Your head lolls back, surrendering to the building tide of passion.

soon another orgasm washes over you as you cum once again, moaning his name loudly. He stops for a moment, letting your breath.

"Fuck! That was-" you swallow the rest of your words as he inserts his finger once again without any warning.

"Fuck!!" you let out a cry, you were still coming down from the intense pleasure you just got and he started fingering again.

Your voice echoes, fueling his determination. He ferociously strums your throbbing nub, maintaining a firm grip on your hips to keep you grounded in this passionate frenzy. Rapid, heated breaths escape your lungs as the tension builds within you. Your body instinctively responds, clenching and releasing sporadically in a futile effort to delay the inevitable explosion of desire. It's no use, the sensation proves too powerful; your breasts heave as a low moan escapes you. And then comes the wave, threatening to overwhelm you.

"Oh fuckk.... please....." you whine, your thighs tremble and clenches on its own but he grabs and keeps it firm not allowing you to move.

"I promised that I will give you plenty of orgasms so be a good girl now." he growls.

You close your eyes tightly from the overwhelming pleasures, you were not able to breath properly other than moaning and screaming.

Taehyung's hairs sticks on his forehead from the sweat dripping from his head, his eyes focused on his fingers thrusting in and out of your pussy and his thumb rubbing your clit. He seemed so determined to give you orgasms, his eyes was dark and filled with hunger.

Your voices echoes.

"HOLY FUCKKK!!!! FUCKKKKK!!!!" you scream louder as you cum again, thrice, your body arched back and toes curled, your fingers dug in the bedsheets and eyes rolled back, chest rised up as you feel another strong orgasm. Your mind completely goes blank for a moment. You squirt all over his fingers but he just doesn't stop, his other handstarts rubbing your clit senselessly, taking out all the liquids from inside your pussy. A huge mess.

"Taehyung~ please~ I can't take it more... please" you beg him as tears roll down your eyes.

He slows down his fingers eventually stopping it and then pulls it out. He gently pats your throbbing and heated clit to calm you down. Your pussy was literally pounding from all the intense orgasms and assault.

You take heavy breaths and gulp to wet your dry throat. He leans in and kisses your lips again before taking you in his lap.

"Now help me princess, it's painful." his words were begging but his voice was still demanding.

you kiss him once again before pushing him down on the bed.You unbutton his shirts quickly and then pull away his pants along with his boxers. His length bouncing out, a gasp escaped your mouth seeing how big and hard he is.

"Will it even fit?" you asked making him chuckle.

"It will fit and you will take it all like a good girl you are." you can feel how big of a dominant he is and you liked it that way, being submissive to him in bed was not bad at all.

with a sultry grin you, you crawl towards him, perching yourself above his rigid erection. You can feel the tip of his cock brushing against your entrance, you rub his length on your folds gently, moaning at the sensation.

"Fuck! Take it already" he groaned and you followed. Inch by inch, you sink deeper onto him until finally your wetness embraces his entire length, surprisingly fiting in your little cunt. That's how nicely he fingered you.

"Are you okay?" he asks massaging your breasts.

"Fuck, yes I am." you let out a low moan, adjusting yourself on his cock.

He grabs your hips as you start moving slowly on his rock hard member..

"Holy fuck, you feel so good," he moans, "more than I ever imagined"

"you imagined me like this?" you ask rocking your hips on his cock.

"Always, everytime I was hard.... I always imagined fucking you like this to release myself," he groans and his hand grip guiding your hips in a perfect rhythm, "you feel so good, so fucking good."

"fuck!" you curse at the feeling of being impaled by him and his confessions were so intoxicating. You increase your pace, riding and grinding against him, undulating in time with pulsating rhythm.

His hands wander across your frame, cupping and pinching your erect nipples, sending bolts of electric pleasure coursing through your veins.

You could hear how seductive his moans were and how erotic it sounded, it felt like a music to your ears when he moaned your name buried inside your pussy.

His other hand rested tenderly upon your breast while the other hand helped you ride him relentlessly, with every thrust your hips squeezed his manhood tightly. a series of rippling pulses causing tremors throughout his lower body.

Moans escape from the depths of your throat, your body arching slightly with each contractions. Feeling the mighty grip of your core contracting around him. His cock twicthes inside your pussy hinting his edge.

"Cum Taehyung, like you always wanted to... cum inside my cunt... fill it with your hot release." you hype him up, as you reach your own high, earning a deep growl from him.

"Fuck! you are such a slut for me. Aren't you?" he growls, his wands now gripping your hips firmly increasing the pace to unimaginable speed.

"Fck yes!" you let out a cry.

"Then cum with me princess, come one.. show me how good of a slut you are."

He guides you to your another climax while reaching his own.

Your body arched back completely, nails dug on his chest as you both reach your climax together.

"FUCK! Such a good girl you are!" he moans loudly, releasing himself inside your cunt.

His hot and sticky fluid fills your pussy, you fall on his chest... panting heavily and his arms wrap around you.

He kisses your forehead, the least thing you could have expected and runs his fingers along your hairs once he calmed down.

"I love you." his voice soft now but still shaky from breathlessness.

You rise your face to look at him, "you what?"

He nods confirming his words, "I love you, I really do."

"Just because you had a good fuck with me?" you frown.

"No, I mean yes it was the best sex I will ever have because it's our first fuck together but I really love you."

"Since when?"

"Since the day you punched my face" he chuckled

"and you always pretended to hate me, why?" you ask, unknowingly pouting a little.

"because I liked teasing you that way, I liked the tention between us, didn't you?" he stroked your cheeks gently.

"I would hate to admit but yes, you attracted me a lot like that."

"The reason you were fucking yourself watching my video." he chuckled teasing you a little.

"uh.. and you literally installed hidden cameras here, how many times did you watch me doing that?"

"if I watched you earlier then we wouldn't be fucking for the first time today princess," you finally notice the nick name he is calling you with and a smile tugs in your lips, "its just been a week since I installed the cameras but I swear I rarely saw anything except for today, I got so needy from the club that I couldn't control myself."

"wish you watched me earlier." you speak as he continues caressing your cheeks and hairs.

"bad girl you are."

"only for you and I love you too" you confess before pecking his lips gently and he wraps you in his arms, smiling widely.

"I think I will get the best sleep today." you mumble against his chest and he just strokes your hairs after pulling a blanket over you both.

"Good night princess." he kisses your head once again.

⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕

A/n : Believe me, this is the first time I actually wrote a proper smut like with the proper words and all. It took me hours to complete and I honestly don't know what all I wrote and if it's good because I was too horny to focus properly, I just went with the flow. Please bare with any mistakes and yeah it's my first time writing such story so please show some love y'all :)

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yessa-vie · 4 months

Text

❝HELLO, PRINCESS❞ — park seonghwa & kim hongjoong.

PAIRING. kim hongjoong x fem!reader x park seonghwa

GENDER/WARNINGS. enemies to lovers (without the lovers part). suggestive, but not really?. cursing. slight yandere behaviour. way too much fucking tension, i'm sorry.

SYNOPSIS. once your superiors called you saying they caught two of the leaders of the Black Pirates, you rushed to meet them at the abandon building they were in, but the conversation ended up getting a little out of hand.

WORD COUNT. 3,123.

NOTE. this is based on Ateez lore, also is an idea it's been going on and on in my head since i learned a bit more about their lore, once i saw the MATZ mv, idk, it just cliked and i couldn't stop thinking until i wrote it down. it was supposed to be more, but idk if i'll make this into a series or not, so there's a lot in the open. let me know if you wanna see this as a series (:

UPDATE: i did the series (here's the link).

IMPORTANT. this is a work of fiction, it has zero intent on portraing how any of the people quoted here are in real life.

The Black Pirates had been a problem for a few years now. Your family has always dealt with the rebels in Strickland, you grew up among great leaders, you were trained as one to succeed your parents when you reached a certain age, which would be four years from now, when you turned twenty-eight. Despite this, you had already led persecutions against those who participated in the rebellions since you were seventeen to eighteen years old, shortly after the appearance of the Black Pirates, led by a group called ATEEZ.

You had already managed to meet them at other times, never all in the same space. They were stealthy enough, they had given up their black clothes and fedoras for a while now, making it harder to find them in the crowd, they started to blend in, wear less flashy clothes, although they continued to cause problems to whoever was around.

The guards were no longer able to keep up with them, their incompetence making you laugh every time they returned empty-handed. Which leads to the situation you found yourself in now. Two of the eight members had been captured, or rather, allowed themselves to be captured. You didn't know their names, the few times you met them, there was never much friendly exchange of information.

All except for one. It was at the beginning, when you had your first direct contact with one of the ATEEZ, but curiously he couldn't fully comprehend your words. His stoic beauty didn't help much with the concentration process, especially when he looked so intensely at any information you provided, even if it didn't make sense to him.

He looked like a statue, a beautiful statue, an ancient painting, just like the ones you had seen stored deep in one of Strickland’s main command centers. The Fallen Angel, an 1847 painting by Alexandre Cabanel, a French painter. You knew that it was a copy of the original painting, but it didn't matter, because it was at that moment that you named the first member you had contact with.

Angel managed to escape a while later. The incompetence of the guards is already irritating the superiors. When the recordings were reviewed, the interaction between you and Angel caught the attention of the supervisors, who put you in the Search and Capture Team for all members of the Black Pirates. Over time, more and more interactions took place between you and the leaders, each time more intense and direct than the previous ones.

Angel, Serpent, Fox, Bear, Lion, Cat, Wolf, Squirrel. Each name earned for a specific reason. Angel and Squirrel were the last ones you had come into contact with, but as always, the guards' incompetence caused them both to escape, but not before Squirrel threw a slight wink in the direction of the security camera, knowing that you would see.

A disbelieving smile painted your lips when you saw that recording. Your eyes now saw the same recording followed by the transmission that had just ended, but now the smile was victorious as you walked in the direction where Squirrel and Serpent were, tied to chairs by iron chains.

“Leave us.”

“But ma’am -”

“Are you questioning a direct order?” At no point did your face leave the two chained to the chairs who were still looking ahead. Heads touching at the back. The smile returning to your lips with the movement and noise of boots against the concrete of the place where you were. “Don’t bother us until I call for you.”

The last soldier nodded before closing the metal door behind you. The cameras used by the two were still perfectly placed, but properly disconnected, the drones had been confiscated, some of the Black Pirates that followed them had been captured and were already heading to one of the confinement locations.

Despite the silence that ensued, neither of the two leaders looked at you, but the smile never left their lips. Your eyes passing through every detail of that space, absorbing any trace they left behind, even if deliberately. Over time you learned that everything was a clue, even if you didn't understand it at that exact moment.

As the boots came into contact with the concrete, Serpent opened his eyes, but they didn't find your figure, even as the sound of the boots on the concrete became closer, the pace was slow, not because you wanted to make an impact, no, that wasn't necessary, what you wanted was time to observe all the possible holes they could put any object into to continue the shitty revolution they wanted.

Your steps stopped at the beginning of the stone circle that the chairs were in, one of your feet was placed on top, a long sigh leaving your mouth as your hands rested on your hips on the leather belt of the special outfit. One last look around before your steps continued in front of Squirrel who finally opened his eyes, the smirk bringing a slight irritation, making your blood boil slightly. They thought they were intelligent, what irritated you was that they really were, but the guard wasn't the best either.

“Good to see you again, princess,” he purred the pet name. Your features were controlled, but internally you rolled your eyes. You knew who they were, just as they knew who you were. There was no need for an introduction between you, not since Angel disappeared from the compound he was staying at. “I knew I would see you again, but I didn’t expect it to be under these circumstances.”

“Don’t you like being tied up and having a woman looking you from above?”

You allowed yourself a sly smile, being greeted by another from Squirrel who looked you up and down, the smirk never leaving his lips, making you want nothing more than to wipe that fucking smile off.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I like it, especially if she’s you,” this time you couldn’t hold back a cynical laugh, which mattered little to Squirrel, “but public places aren’t part of my fetish.”

“Funny, because every time we meet you are in public and open places, just like this.” Squirrel refused to answer, making you close your mouth with a small toothless smile, continuing to walk around the stone circle, stopping quickly in front of Serpent, his eyes closed, his head tilted back, leaving the tattoo that adorned his neck visible. “Matz.”

Although you didn't notice the smirk Serpent gave, you saw the movement of his Adam's apple, your eyes quickly moving up to his face, perfectly sculpted, just like the last time you saw him. The brown eyes slightly hidden by hooded eyelids reminded you of the first time you noticed the duality that the leaders possessed, making you change your approach for the third time since you had joined the Search and Capture Team.

“It’s our unit,” his voice was low, gravelly, you ignored the shock that ran down your spine when you noticed his eyes roaming every part of your face and body, his mouth slightly ajar as his damn tongue – that seemed incapacitated to be kept inside his mouth – made small appearances between Serpent's teeth. “We don’t all have a unit name, but we all have units that overlap...” Your eyes fell on Serpent’s tongue that touched the left corner of his mouth, a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by him, causing a sideways smile to appear there. “What is it, princess? Cat’s got your tongue?”

Your mind ignored the automatic connection with the leader you had named Cat, but the millisecond it took for that to happen was captured by Serpent's vigilant eyes, making his eyebrows arch slightly, making his eyes momentarily remember the bobba that you used to take when you weren't searching for them all over Stricktland.

“Why does it matter to you? Are you trying to say that you care about me?”

“First of all, your eyes never left my tongue, so don’t blame me for worrying about losing it,” the lighthearted smile returned to his lips just as the eyelids fell over his eyes, returning the tantalizing look he always had, managing to get under your skin. At your eye roll, the smile only grew, “there are a lot of things I like and still want to do with my tongue, I wish I could keep it for a little while longer.”

"You can barely keep it in your mouth," Squirrel said laughing, it being the most genuine laugh you've ever heard come out of him, being imitated by Serpent, making you watch them for a moment, seeing the duality happen in front of you, the duality which always broke the image you had created of them over time. “What’s the second thing?”

Your eyes continued to dart from one to the other as Serpent stared at you, his eyes wider but still hooded, his smile now shyly present but still there taunting you.

“Second of all, I thought we already made it clear that we care about your well-being princess,” the pet name rolled beautifully in his lips, making shivers run through your body and you martyred yourself for it. Ignoring your body's signals for that simple sentence spoken that way by Serpent, but he – somehow – noticed the effect, letting out a small nasal laugh. “Cute,” he said simply, his body moving away from the back of the chair, his face as close as it's been in a long time, “but I want to know, princess, what are you going to do with us now that you've got us tied up the way you wanted?"

You allowed a smile to appear on your lips, noticing when Serpent's eyes fell on your mouth, using the opportunity to get even closer to him, his mouth mere centimeters away. A warm breath came out of your mouth, and you noticed Serpent moisten his own lips before you turned your face away, moving closer to him, your lips lightly touching his earlobe and you noticed the hairs on the back of Serpent's neck rising, making your smile increase.

“Who said I wanted you tied by iron chains to a chair?” You quickly walked away, boots firmly against the floor as you retraced your steps, standing exactly in the middle of the two chairs, facing the door your team was waiting for any sign of you. Their eyes fell on the cameras that surrounded them. “Wasn’t what you did last night enough?”

Your eyes fell on the two pairs of eyes that were watching you curiously. The security image of Squirrel and Serpent entering a store and destroying the objects there, returning to your mind, the angry screams of your superiors still reverberating in your eardrums, the loss of the work the government was doing, the work and time to be able to replace everything that had been destroyed. To make matters worse, the recording of the destruction they had wrought had already been disseminated, but this was a problem for the Information Transaction Control people, despite their job being Crisis Management, your only job now was the Black Pirates and their leaders.

“Told you she looked tired,” Squirrel said more to Serpent who just nodded, making you roll your eyes at the comment, ignoring when their worried eyes were directed at you, “did your superiors not let you sleep?”

“My job is to catch you, so when you show up in the break of dawn destroying government property,” you sighed, climbing into the circle, standing directly in front of Squirrel, eyes watching your every move, you noticed his movement in the chair as you bent down, hands resting on the arm of the chair, cornering him in some way, but none dared to show any other type of reaction, “I’m the one who has to lose my sleep and go after you.”

“Glad we made your life easier and came here, getting caught in the process.”

Squirrel’s cocky smile made you let out a weak sigh followed by a sideways smile, barely noticing when he got closer to you, his face millimeters away from yours, but you refused to move, maintaining eye contact with him, ignoring when you felt his knees touch your leg, ignoring the way he opened his legs enough for him to corner you this time.

Before you could react, he lifted his legs, wrapping yours around his own, pulling you in such a way that you lost your balance, resting on the back of the chair, before realizing an arm wrapped around your waist, while two hands held your wrists. Squirrel had a small smirk and his mouth was slightly open, your breaths were mixing, making it take a while for you to realize that Serpent had left his chair and was now behind you, one of his arms wrapping around your waist, but before you could say anything thing, Serpent's hand covered your mouth, his breath in your ear, making your blood boil.

“We don’t want anything drastic to happen, do we, princess?”

You could feel the smile on Serpent's lips, imagining it was almost a copy of the smile you could see on Squirrel. Despite the quick head movement, Serpent was faster, clenching your jaw tighter, throwing your head back, using his right shoulder to hold your head in place.

“Now princess, don’t be like that, you know us well enough to have expected this to happen somehow,” Squirrel’s legs let go of yours, making Serpent squeeze you tighter against his body, and you cursed under your breath when you realized how firm his body was, the fit was almost perfect to yours, making any movement impossible, “I love our cat and mouse games.”

Squirrel’s voice was low, hoarse, he approached you and Serpent like a predator. The truth is, you should expect it, Squirrel was stealthy, quick and smart, whenever he had been caught there had been a reason behind it; Serpent was slender, charming, but mysterious, never allowing you to see beyond what he wanted to show you. The two of them together and being captured should have told you enough.

The second Serpent freed your mouth, Squirrel placed tape over it, feeling Serpent's hand go down to your throat, fingers still gripping your jaw, mouth close enough to your ear for you to hear and feel every breath and reaction from him. Squirrel looked at you with a different sparkle in his eyes.

“They sent the drone; we have to go.”

Serpent's voice made your entire body shake, not just because of the proximity, or the tone, but precisely because of the information. A drone. The others were close, the drone was the sign that they were running out of time, again you would lose them, but this time it was all your fault.

“Unfortunately, our time is short, but I look forward to our next meeting, princess.”

Squirrel left your point of view, leaving your wrists to be taken care of by Serpent who finally let go of your neck, turning to face you, a place that was previously used by Squirrel. You could hear the other one walking, trying to memorize the paths they used so you could follow them as soon as they released you and you managed to escape the possible restraints they would place on you.

“I'm sorry, princess, but we can't risk it,” Serpent said quietly, the affection he felt on your waist startling you for a moment, trying to ignore how hot that specific part of your body had become, ignoring the shock that that simple movement caused to your body as a whole. “We’ve already risked so much for you.”

Before you could have any kind of reaction, a cloth was placed in front of your mouth, at the same time as the tape had been ripped off. They were going to drug you, but as soon as you realized, the control of your legs disappeared. The last memory was of Serpent's arms wrapping around you and a murmur coming from Squirrel.

All eight of them were eating dinner that Wooyoung had made, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were hungry, considering how long they had stayed in that building, waiting for you and your team. Both of them just hoping that what they did that afternoon wouldn't cause them too much trouble.

Not that the others would say anything, they all knew how each of them felt about you. The problem was what Nightingale would say when they found out how irresponsible they had been, just to be able to stay longer in your presence, to see you again, to feel your skin and scent.

Almost instantly, a message arrived for them, a small alert noise and the eight were quickly on their feet, their eyes scanning the space they were in while Yunho went in the direction of the beeper, opening the message that was accompanied by a small digital bird and everyone already knew what to expect with that.

“You are lucky that I already expect you to do this and I managed to prevent you from being seen, but I need you to be more careful and obey the rules, not flirting instead of helping us reach our final goal. In any case, congratulations on what you managed to do in the last few days, wait for the next contact. If anything, you know how to contact me.”

All eight exchanged glances and sighs. That was better than they could have expected, but it also explained what had happened when Seonghwa and Hongjoong left the building, getting into the car with Wooyoung to go to the complex. For a moment, everyone's thoughts went to you, a simple exchange of looks between the two older ones said enough, they should have taken better care of you, but time was short, Yeosang had already sent the drone, they needed to prioritize their safe exit.

“Do you think she’s okay?”

Jongho's voice was low, his eyes searching the elders' eyes, seeking some kind of confirmation, that he shouldn't worry, but Matz had said how they left you, there was a 50-50 chance that you were okay, and it was what they wanted to focus on.

“We should have kept her further away from the door.”

“For her to possibly roll over and fall over the railing?” Hongjoong fussed a little and Seonghwa just gave him a warning look, noticing the leader of the eight running his fingers through his hair nervously. “She’s going to be fine, worse has happened and she survived.”

The eight nodded, but they knew it was just an automatic reaction, not necessarily one they agreed or trusted, not until they saw you in one piece, even from afar.

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loving08 · 4 months

Text

I Love You

Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Summary: Y/N has been working in the BAU for a year now, she is satisfied where she is along with her crush on her Boss Aaron Hotchner, but the entry of a new person would broke her or will she be able to be with man she love.

As Spencer had said he picked up Y/N an hour later and a little while later they both reached Rossi's mansion. After parking the car they goes towards the door and knock on it. A second later the door opens and Rossi welcome them inside. Y/N then realized that everyone has already arrived and said "well hopes we are not the late ones" and everyone laughed hearing her. Rossi said "don't worry Y/N, Hotch also just arrived here". Y/N looked towards Hotch and they both shared a smile.

Hearing chatters and voices, the kids came inside and as soon as Jack saw Y/N he sprinted up to her and hugged her tightly. Y/N stumbled a little upon the impact but she crotched down and return the hug and said "wow, looks like someone missed me very much" and smiled at him. Jack looked at her and said "yeah I missed you so much Y/N" and hugged her again. Y/N had a smile on her face and said "I missed you too baby" and gave a kiss on his cheek. Hotch smiled seeing the scene in front of him, everyone also had smiles on their faces except Beth, she was observing Y/N's interaction with everyone especially with Hotch and Jack.

Soon food was ready and everyone started to take seats on the dinner table, Hotch sat Jack on the chair first then he sat down and waited for Y/N to sit beside Jack. Y/N was about sit next to Jack when Beth nudged her a little and took that sit and said "Y/N can you take that seat beside Derek, I just think the view of everyone from here is much better and I also liked it here" and smiled at her forcefully. It became a tense environment, Y/N didn't wanted to ruin the happy environment so she just sighed and was about to go near Derek when Jack voice rang out "No I don't want you to sit here, I just want Y/N to sit beside me. you can take that seat beside uncle Derek" and glared at Beth. Y/N looked at Beth and then Jack and said "Jack baby, its ok I will just sit right there ok" and tried to settle out the things but Jack was not budging and repeatedly shook his head as no, Hotch cleared his throat, looked towards Beth and said "Agent archer I hope you will not feel bad about my son behaviour, he's just very much attached to Y/N so can you please give that seat to Y/N so we all can just enjoy the evening without upsetting anyone", he very much bluntly told Beth that she's ruining the evening and being told by Hotch felt very embarrassing to her so Beth just get up and took the seat beside Derek. Y/N sat down beside Jack and then everyone turned to their foods and the environment again changed back to normal.

After the dinner was over everyone clatter around the house, Y/N goes towards the garden and sat at the couch looking at the sky. A little later the door opened and Y/N turned to look and saw Beth and sat up straight. Beth came forward and said "you are really clever Y/N, I mean I can say you are very smart, you know how to make a man fall for you but don't you think it's a little beneath you to use a child to get a man" and gave her a dirty look. Y/N looked baffled and said "what the hell are you talking about Beth, you don't know me at all so who do you think you are to judge me??". Beth glared at Y/N and said "what, am I saying anything wrong, you want to get Aaron so you are using his son to get him because you know he loves his son very much and if he's son loves you so there will be no problem for you to get him, what a plan Y/N really, you really are a shameless person". Y/N was so angry that she wanted to slap Beth but she calmed herself and said "look I don't really care what you think of me but you don't have any right to talk about me like that, I know you like Hotch but that doesn't give you any right to talk to others in that way". "I'm not saying anything wrong and you know it, just get out Y/N, leave from here, leave Aaron and Jack and mainly leave the BAU, resign because if you don't then I will make you, so get away from Aaron and leave here now".

"no" they both heard someone and turned towards the door, they saw Jack and realized he must have heard everything, Y/N was about to go to him but he ran inside calling for his dad. Y/N and Beth looked at each other and then chased after him, Y/N so she could talk to him and Beth so she could stop him from telling everyone but alas they were late, everyone was already gathered at the hall and Hotch was crouching on the ground, hugging and consoling a crying Jack. Hotch looked up at Y/N and then at Jack and asked "what happen bud, why are you crying, did something happen??". Jack looked at his dad and said cryingly "Y/N is going to leave us dad, she's going leave me, she's will resign" and cried more while hugging his father. Hotch looked up at Y/N shocked and said "you are going to resign, you never told me bout it, did something happen, why do you want to resign, everything was fine until now so why do you want to resign Y/N?". Hotch was shocked but was more heart broken, Y/N was leaving and he hadn't even talked with her about his feelings, he then turned towards Spencer and asked "did you knew about it Reid that she was resigning?". Spencer looked confused and shook his head as no and said "No Hotch, we never had any talk about resigning at all, I didn't even knew she wanted to do so" and looked towards Y/N with hurt. Everyone then started to bombarded her with questions.

"Will you all just let me talk" Y/N shout out and everyone fall silent. Y/N let out a sigh and looked towards Beth, and they both knew everyone was gonna know now so Beth tried to stop Y/N but she hold up a hand to Beth and looked towards the team again and said "First of all I'm not going to resign, there is no reason for me to leave okay and secondly...... Jack baby, can I talk to you". Everyone let out a sigh of relief but Hotch was still not convinced and asked "if you are not resigning then why Jack thought you are going do that, he must have heard or see something, he wouldn't talk about such things like this and mainly not about you". Y/N let out another sigh and said "I know, he heard wrong and assumed on his own, now can I talk to him please". Hotch nodded at her and she walked up to him and Jack and turned the child towards her and said "hey bud, I know you think what you heard is true but I assure you baby nothing like that is going to happen okay, I'm not leaving here, I can never leave you baby" and gently stroked his cheek.

Jack looked at her with puffy eyes and asked "so you are not going to resign and leave me". Y/N shook her head no and Jack launched himself at her, he really thought she was going to leave him all alone, he really doesn't want to lose her at all, Y/N picked him up and hugged him tightly assuring him that she's not going anywhere. Hotch smiled at them then something struck him "okay everything is alright but if that was not the case then why did Jack thought you were leaving?" he questioned Y/N. she was bout to answer him when Jack turned towards him "because that bad aunty was telling Y/N to leave and resign or she will make her go" said Jack with a tear stricken face and pointed at Beth. Now everyone was looking at Beth and Y/N, wanting to know the full story. Y/N looked at the team and said "its nothing really, let's just get back to normal, the misunderstanding has been cleared right", she tried to divert their attention but they were still not listening to her excuse. Beth looked around the room and said "I was just talking with Y/N when she suddenly said that I should leave the BAU because I'm not good enough and I should also stay away from Aaron because she doesn't like it when he and I spent time together so I also got angry at her and told her to leave and resign if she had any problem, that's all that happened.

Y/N was now full on furious, who wouldn't, first she tried to make her leave now she blames everything on her and was bout to confront her when Jack again beat her to it and said "don't lie I heard everything, you told Y/N to leave and stay away from daddy and me, you are the one who started the fight not Y/N so don't blame her" and glared at her with a little anger. Now everything was out of the pot, there was no point of lying so Beth turned towards Hotch and said "I just did that because I know her true nature, she's a very clever bitch and wants to get you Aaron, she just wants to break us but I know you feel something for me, but don't worry I will not let her come in between us okay" and smiled at him lovingly. Hotch was baffled and said "wait a minute......., who said I feel anything for you, I never made any sort of action towards you to get wrong signals but if I did then I'm sorry but I don't think of you like that, I have never thought of you like that and..... I think I made myself clear when I said you don't have any right to call me Aaron". "no Aar...Hotch you are just confused but I know what you really feels for me so don't deny it please" said Beth with tears rolling down her cheek.

Hotch was at loss of words, how can she be so delusion, he was speechless, when Rossi realized Hotch was not being able to say anything so he came forward and said "I think you should go home Beth, that will be better for you, everyone here needs time right now". Beth was bout to argue when he gave her a stern look and she just ran out of there. Everyone was now tense, not knowing what to say when Hotch turned towards Jack and said "bud I understand you were afraid that Y/N would leave but why were you crying so much buddy, I was so scared that you might have gotten hurt or something". It was true, he was really scared that Jack might have gotten hurt because he didn't paid much attention to him, Jack pulled his face from Y/N neck and said in a small voice "I was scared daddy", Y/N and Hotch both looked at him and urge him to continue "I was scared that I will lose my new mommy just like I lost mom, I don't want to lose Y/N daddy, I just can't......" and brought his face back to Y/N neck and hide his teary face.

Everyone was shocked hearing him especially Y/N and Hotch, they didn't expected this reason behind his cries, they both looked at each other but didn't said anything. Y/N gently stroked Jack's back and hummed lightly to make him feel sleepy and when he did fall asleep she took him to the room Rossi always had for him and laid him on the bed and fondly patted his hair, knowing now she and Hotch need to have a talk, a real talk.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine

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sprucewoodmpreg · 2 years

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hi vaguely serious messy post about hermitblr and new members and just. letting everyone know that we’ve had history with cc interaction on here before that i think would be useful for people to learn about

Trafficblr/Hermitblr has seen a lot of growth lately, largely in part from people migrating over here from the DSMP side of MCYTblr. This in of itself is completely fine! New people jumping onto the bus with us are always welcome, and the growth of the community as a whole is really nice to see.

However, I have noticed a lot of these newer blogs sharing the same very specific behaviours, and if possible, I’d like to just make a few things about the community and our history clear. Because this isn’t DSMP, and the CCs here handle content creation and their own fanbases very differently to them.

While I’m not going to go in-depth on 2019 since I don’t have nearly as much information about it as other people do, I would like to say that back then, Hermitblr was kind of an active war zone. It was comparable to how Hermittwt is now, with infighting about shipping and similar topics being the norm (however in Hermitblr’s case many of these argument were far more personal due to the smaller fandom size). What I want to point out specifically however, is when one of the CCs, Cleo, was thrown into the community infighting. I don’t remember the specifics of it, but she was sent an ask asking about shipping, and her opinions on it, and eventually dealt with so much backlash that she was forced to leave the site entirely (this post here has a slightly more comprehensive summary, if need be).

I’m just a little concerned, because there seems to have been a slight increase in that demographic of people recently. Specifically, members of the community who want to rely on CCs to dictate what happens in fan spaces; for them to give us bullet point lists of what their exact boundaries are for every single situation.

This rarely ends well. As in, it almost always just causes infighting and hostility. There will always be people making content that will “break boundaries”, regardless of any creator’s wishes. However, this is usually mitigated by the fact that many of these CCs aren’t on Tumblr (at least not anymore....mostly). The problem arises when members of the community attempt to act as Heroes Of Justice, and go out of their way to send asks to other blogs, informing them exactly of how they’ve broken the boundaries of some 40 year old adult. This is all despite the fact that said adult will....never see whatever post went against their wishes. It just encourages policing and this weird superiority....thing, where despite the lack of content creators, people are still fighting to make sure that the site is clean from any possibly upsetting posts.

I say this all while also acknowledging that many of the creators in this sphere also don’t have a very comprehensive understanding of how fandom interacts with their “characters”. To them, “shipping” has always been RPF, and there are so many other aspects of the community that simply can’t be explained easily, as they haven’t been immersed in this culture like we have. This is to say that asking for “boundaries” is likely to get you a very confused and unhelpful answer, as the Hermits have always had a very different way of interacting and viewing their fanbase than the DSMP creators do. There is no “c!” or “cc!” to them, to put it simply.

Essentially, the Hermits are adults. They’ve been doing content creation for years, and I can guarantee you they’ve seen worse things in their lives than art of their Minecraft character kissing another Minecraft character. They’ve dealt with this shit before, and if they wanted it to stop, they’re free to make a post about it whenever want. And yet, they haven’t. They leave fandom up to us. Boundaries and rules and infighting and just...all of that? Let’s leave it to the Twitter users, please. Post what you want, make sure to tag your posts correctly, and we’ll all be fine.

Also, while I’m going to try not to rehash any discourse about inviting CCs to Tumblr, I also do just want to implore you guys to consider that the environment on Hermittwt is partially the way it is because of the active presence of the Hermits there, with people flocking for attention or a single notice, and obsessively checking posts to make sure they’re not potentially “boundary-breaking” and such. Please just consider that many people are here to avoid the dynamics of that site. Tumblr is a site for fans, not for the CCs. So we create content here for ourselves, and not for them. Having creators join almost always leads to the culture of their fanbase on here changing, with content posted in the maintags being catered more towards them rather than the fanbase. (This isn’t to say that they can’t join!! But at least keeping in mind why many of us are here in the first place and weighing that against potential CC interactions would mean a lot).

I fear that my point may have been lost a little bit, but I hope my explanation at least brings a little bit of light to why many members of the community here are wary of Creators coming over to the site, and also of how many newer blogs tend to treat the CCs. Hermitblr has had some really bad history in the past when it comes to this stuff, and seeing newer fans bring over similar ideas from DSMPblr just worries me a little bit.

TL:DR - Just...please treat the Hermits like the adults they are, and keep in mind they have a very different dynamic with their fanbases to the DSMP creators. Asking for “boundaries” and granting CCs control of the fanbase will likely lead you nowhere; attempting to police fanspaces here just brings up bad memories of times when Hermitblr was a much more miserable place to be in. Plus, if you want CC interactions, please just go to twitter. Nobody here wants to deal with an attempted “cleanse” of the site to make it more palatable to CCs.

#i hope this is ok. again im not. trying to police or be a ''fandom mom'' or fucking. whatever #just giving my 2 cents on the subject. take it or leave it i don't care im not the boss of you and you dont have to listen to me #also gen if you see this and want me to remove your post just send me an ask and i'll take it out #discourse #if i said anything goofy or fucked up lmk because while i did try 2 proofread this im also not very concise nor clear #just gonna hit post. assuming this isn't gonna get more than like. 20 notes anyway so i likely wont have to worry abt ppl getting mad @ me

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sgiandubh · 5 months

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Omg!!! Such great news!

Dear @herethereeverywhere22,

I saw her post almost as soon as she published it. Well, then: karma is a bitch, isn't she? Who would have thought, just six months ago, that such a thing was ever possible?

First and foremost thought: she is apparently not useful, anymore. Too loud. Too proud. And yes, ten years at the epicenter of the Narrative must take a heavy toll on your credibility. Especially since that Remarkable Week-end, and especially since everything you say from that particular moment in time is, IMHO, not even planted, but totally freelanced.

Second thought: it's not too early, it's even late. She's been here since Day One, the ever available Useful (but also Fearless) Idiot TPTB could count on to spread the Anti gospel. She was the main reason many people left this fandom in tears and dismay and frustration. She was the Ur-Troll, the Uber Bully and I find some poetic justice in the fact that the alleged health problem is about her eyes.

Third thought: she did nothing good for S. She durably dented his professional profile and credit, describing him as a piece of meat, a thirst trap and, ultimately, a bore. The amount of childish and parochial bullshit this woman has fed her gullible audience is industrial. It is also very easy to debunk - the Hotel Costes fanfic comes immediately to mind - and I tried my best, something that earned me a 'worst of the worst' mention, if I remember well. For ten long years, she drooled an ocean over his biceps, his Golden Dirk, his supposed sexual prowess. This had to end somehow, someday. Has it?

Fourth thought: with a cool head, I wouldn't be so sure. She is a narcissist and a narcissist always needs a scene, a spotlight and an enraptured crowd. Maybe she found another victim/fandom. Maybe she is just strategically lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to jump back in. Only time will tell. For the moment, her OL reign didn't end in a blaze of glory, but with a fizzle. And make no mistake: the real winner is Marple.

FWIW, I am leaving here two links for two posts about *urv @tpquill wrote quite a while ago. She knows *urv (or Margot, or Elaine Cha Ching or whoever the fuck else she was impersonating on Pufflander's Just Make It A Double) since her Twilight fandom days. Irrespective of anything else, this gives her opinion the required gravitas:

and

And *urv: yours is the second Tumblr blog I found after BIF and the contrast between sterile and filthy was brutal. Good riddance?

#asks #fandom

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suchagreatimetobealive · 2 months

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𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ~°•*'▪︎

Dazai Osamu x Reader

- Tw¡! Extremely toxic relationship, self-destructive behaviour, delirious behaviour, brief mentions of a past toxic relationship with a possessive partner, angst without comfort.

- You know Dazai since his mafia days, but he never indulged you into joining the activity. When finally he left the toxic environment behind, he tried to make the wall between you and him crumble. Sadly, it didn't last long.

- Very rushed, I'm sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes just felt inspirated, I need sleep tbh.

Dazai Osamu has always been defined as someone sadistic, enjoying the pain shine in his victims's eyes, while he bend them over and shots them from behind, after he just reassured them he would not. Not even shooting them on a vital organ; the shoulder, or the arm, so that they crumble on the ground, bloody, in agonising pain, tight grip against the wound in the desperate attempt to soothe the suffering.

He takes pain so rationally, so detached from any mental attachment from someone that It's natural to think he does feel the pain others feels; just not on an empathic basis. He feeds off of it, delighted by the way his enemies -especially the older men who thinks of him a kid- look at him with fear and terror as soon as they realise he's not a normal 15 years old who needs to screw off.

But the truth is that Dazai Osamu is a masochist. A huge, helpless masochist who has moments that really makes you scared. You are not even sure if you are scared of him, or for him. He has no intention to hurt you, you know it; but at one point, you are afraid of him.

Afraid he could harm you to self-destroy.

The day he begged you, on his knees, hopelessly sniffling and sobbing soundly, so pitifully it brought you to tears as well to tear off his limbs is the day you really started to feel the agony in your chest, the dread pooling in your chest, a sudden nauseating sensation ascending from your abdomen to your throat.

That's the day you realised how serious he's sick in the head. He never acted like that with you before, only implied jokes about the thematic, nothing serious. Or so you always thought.

A copy mechanism Dazai Osamu utilises also is, as mentioned earlier, self-destruction.

He would go as far as hurting you just to make you despise him, watch him with hate; he knows it would break his heart, he feels so frustrated when you look at him with worry, the aggravation in his pupils as he tears up even more, as if it's the worse thing that could have happened to him.

But as soon as that gaze appears even for a fleeting second, he's instantly on you, clinging on your side with his hands locked on your waist, head buried on his chest, loud thumping of his heart, restless as the panic rushes to his veins. Soft, trembling hands caressing your scalp as the fingers dig between your strands sweetly, soothingly as if to make you forget what just happened.

But everything that happen each passing night becomes so much, the overwhelming feeling of everything that each time happens, the weight of his words, you feel like you are losing your sanity staying with someone who already lost it a long while ago.

Because you can't fix him, you know. It's impossible to stay with him, he's so broken that instead of you making him feel better, he is slowly destroying you and also himself in the process.

You can't believe even if he looks you straight in the eyes that this whole relationship isn't hurting him.

You had problems with a possessive partner in the past, and that's been hell, so hard but at the end it went away, at the end you fought him, you broke free. But this?

How can you handle this?

How can you handle Dazai Osamu, if he can't even handle himself? You thought you knew what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to become his partner. Turns out you absolutely didn't. At all.

You can't take it anymore.

Trying to hold him together is making you lose yourself. Each day your anxiety becomes unbearable, your heart always beating so hard against your chest, in fear he could invite you to his apartment the evening. That only means you would witness one of his crisis, or even more than one.

Poor boy wakes up in the middle of the night with a loud gasp, sweat, tears and a raising panic attack as his restless brain registers that it's not real, your chest rising and falling softly, your calm breath seemingly to momentarily also soothe his racing thoughts.

Momentarily.

And that's how another sleepless night at his apartment happens, with you lulling him, keeping his head on your chest, scratching his scalp and giving some kisses here and there, a obsessive chant falling off his lips, same mumbles on loop as he sniffles silently, face wet in tears as whatever thoughts possess his brain.

But you can't break up with him.

This is different; your lover is toxic, but you can't leave him like this. He's suffering. He's suffering so much your heart ache so much every time you see him, but It's just too much.

Everything has become too much, to the point you can't look at him without trembling, panicking, crying and shaking and going into an internal panic.

And he knows, he sees how much this affected you, his selfishness hit again, he's such a cruel creature, isn't he?

Still the ruthless, heartless beast he was back in the mafia. He's hurting you; out of all people, the one who he's hurting is you.

The love of his life, the very reason he's still breathing, the only person who can make him feel safe. But you don't feel safe around him anymore.

You see him as a imminent danger, someone you have to run away from. There are no more goodmorning kisses, there are no more smiles coming your way as he enters the agency, there is nothing.

Not a kiss, not a hug, there's just.. terror.

The way your limbs hugs him like he's made of glass and could break at any touch, the way you curled your fingers around his cheeks with devotion in your eyes now replaced by fear.

Fear hidden behind an anxious smile, lips painfully pulled up in a fake smile every time he encounters your eyes.

And your mental health doesn't get missed by your cowokers; Kunikida often stops by to ask if everything is alright, you are so stiff and It's unusual from someone like you. Ranpo happen checks by as well, giving you subtle glances from the side of the room from time to time and giving you sweets, sometimes dragging you with him to catch some air outside.

He doesn't know if you talked to him, knowing him he already knows anyways. Dazai doesn't even want to focus about what Ranpo knows actually, or he wouldn't even show up in front of the agency door again, he swears.

It would be so shameful.

Atsushi often worries as well, acting similarly to Ranpo, but using more empathy than the older male does, gifting you cute stuff such as peluches, your favorite food, random things he asked to know if you like them or not. Everyone, in their every own way, tries to make you feel better, but nothing can really erase your problem.

And It's so painful, so heart-crashing knowing he is the problem.

And it is also for you, because you love him.

Loved him. At this point, you aren't even sure anymore if you are with him because you want to or because you are just concerned about how he would react if you break up with him.

What if he kills himself?

You would never forgive yourself if he would do that after your decision.

You really don't know what to do, each evening without him sending you on a spiral of desperation, agony and torturous paranoia that just doesn't shake off no matter what you do.

You can't live like this anymore.

"I..." your words struggle to leave your tongue, stuck like a block of ice you can't pull out, blocked between your teeth. It will take time for it to melt, but you don't have all the time of the world.

It's a now or never situation, you don't know when you will get all this courage again in the future. It's not like you hold much of it now anyways, but surely you feel braver than usual.

"...you want to break up with me, right" if it's supposed to be a question, it does not feel like one at all. Your eyes snaps on his, and you flinch.

For the first time in years, you flinch looking in the eyes of someone. Of a man.

The man you loved for years, Dazai Osamu, you don't even recognise him anymore.

You can't find him inside those pupils, the lost gone Osamu you knew didn't left a trace of himself behind.

"...yes" you grit your teeth, cursing yourself under your breath for how weak your voice sounds. Your eyes darts towards the ground, hands gripping each other behind your back, anxiety swallowing you whole, in a cage you can't escape from. That's what his gaze gives you; each time you lock eyes with him, there's no more love, there's no more devotion, no more affection.

You feel, indirectly, forced to stay with him. All because you are afraid.

"Okay" okay? You heard well?

You can't help yourself, your eyes snaps back towards his face; hollow eyes welcoming your surprised one. "...okay?" You speak again, as if to have the reassurance that you heard well.

He gives you a nod, stuff his hands on his coat, and his lips pull upwarbs. His expression is so empty, so void of any single emotion you feel like you are looking up at a corpse, dead with a smile on it's face.

It makes a shiver run down your spine, hands still scrutching themselves nervously behind your back subconsciously.

"You.. will do nothing?" You ask, voice barely a whisper as you don't look away. No matter how lifeless he looks right now, you don't want him to actually die.

But does he even have to keep living? And for what? Watch you find a man (or a woman) who deserves you, someone who deserves your love? His gaze fall on the ground slowly. "...depends on what you mean" his voice is rough, of course he can't hold his tears much longer, the restrain is about to fall off, he can feel his eyes burning so terribly. He would love to do it in your arms right now.

He wants to fall on his knees and scream his lungs out, so much pain not enough to yell out with a single shout.

"..please, don't kill yourself"

"What else?"

"What..?" You stop. You are sure you stopped breathing after his question, a confused frown composing in your worried expression.

"I mean," he speaks slowly "What else is there to be said? I don't have any proper answer to that. I.." his voice falter when he take a look at you "...I won't start again, please calm down.." tone breaking at the end of the sentence, every teardrop spilling from your eyes at the anticipation of yet another breakdown that's about to come feels like a knife stabbing his chest insistently.

What? What is he saying? He won't start anything? How is this somehow even worse than starting? You don't want him to die, you don't want him to kill himself. You just want him to see someone that is capable of helping him, It's impossible no one is able to fix Dazai Osamu. At least a little bit, even if the bare minimum. You don't want to weight the death of one of your best of lovers, the one man you trusted so blindly, who made you feel so loved and cherished. You will never thank him enough for those years, you will never regret them, but you don't want your entire mental health to be thrown away because of his.

Because all humans beings have to be selfish sometimes, to get out of it alive.

But Dazai Osamu feels like he's been too selfish, not asking you himself to break up, waiting you and hoping for something that's never to happen.

For what you know, that's the last time you ever see him again. He completely disappears from sight. The agency has no idea where he ended, if he killed himself somewhere and nobody found his body.

Just know that if Dazai Osamu doesn't want to be found, he will not get found.

Lurking in the shadows is something he does so well, disguising himself and becoming one with the darkness, forgotten by the light, acting as if he never reached it, not knowing what it is like, what it feels like to receive some love.

And that's exactly where Dazai Osamu rests; in the darkness, right where he came from.

Everybody said mafia blood just flows in his veins, and he doesn't even have the strength to deny that to himself anymore. He disappointed you, Odasaku up there must be so deeply disappointed already from how he turned out to be; he tried, he really did, but the mask can't be worn forever.

Dragging a scalpel on someone's throat has never been easier anyway.

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815superwolf · 3 months

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why is jensen ackles so toxic?

i have been a supernatural fan for over ten years and i have known for a while that jensen has never been a fan of destiel, which would be completely fine if he didn't always react uncomfortable and downright disgusted every time someone mentions it and / or the possibility of dean being queer. i have seen him become very defensive and even hostile when asked questions about these things at conventions. to this day jensen (& jared) STILL vehemently call castiel's confession "platonic" and "brotherly" while the writers, showrunners and misha explicitly called it a romantic confession of love.

my problem with jensen's behaviour is that it seems to be rooted in very toxic masculinity and the fragility of it. he has called emotional writing "unmanly" and "effeminate" and "something dean would never say to another man"; he was glad that dean didn't share many scenes with castiel in season 9; he desperately wanted destiel "to go away" and something else that really irks me: so many times when destiel was talked about, he brought up wincest, as if that is in any way the same. he seems to associate queerness with unmanliness, weakness and something to be uncomfortable about.

i can understand that destiel extremists have insulted his wife, insinuated ridiculous things happened between actors etc but this is no excuse for his downright homophobic comments and behaviour. he can also imagine dean however he wants and i know he thinks he understands dean better than anyone but it's so sad to me how much he seems to limit dean in who he could be TO OTHER PEOPLE. who does it harm if a bunch of bi people see themselves in him and his behaviour? i thought jensen understood just how much dean hid from everyone. it makes me sad that he seems to want to forbid other people from interpreting dean differently than he does.

he should really take some time to reflect if dean winchester's non-canon sexuality is really worth coming across homophobic for.

EDIT: i'm not saying jensen can't have his opinion on dean and his sexuality or anything like that, i just wish he didn't react with disgust at other opinions.

#dean winchester #jensen ackles #supernatural #misha collins #castiel #jared padalecki #sam winchester #destiel #deancas #spn

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moonlightdancer26 · 6 months

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Can you give your take on this? Because for the life of me I can’t comprehend why lily started dating James right after the worst memory.

Like yeah you’re upset and rightfully fair too, but I feel like she sorta had a liking for James way before the whole thing with sev, like she must’ve thought he’s amusing or something, and I kinda feel like severus might have seen it too, but of course that’s just my thinking.

Correction: She didn’t actually date James right after SWM, she began dating him in 7th year, which was around 2 years after SWM occurred. I don’t think she could be that cruel to date James right after he did something that awful to Snape lol.

I do think she was at least attracted to James during SWM, JKR herself has even confirmed that Lils somewhat fancied James during that period (“You’re a woman, you know what I mean!” no.. no I don’t, JKR 🤨). Her behaviour with James in SWM was concerning as hell, her best friend was legitimately on the ground after just having been choked with soapsuds and her first reaction was to not even glance at him and automatically start bickering with James and talking about his broomstick and his “stupid hair.” 💀 like Lily ily but.. wtf are you doing??

But to be fair to Lils, when she dated James, she genuinely thought he had changed and became a better person. She wouldn’t have dated him if he was still bullying Snape and other people, she would’ve still been attracted to him like she was in SWM, but she wouldn’t have actually gone out with him. However, my issue with that is the fact that she was willing to go out with him AFTER she saw that he SA’d and bullied her (at the time) best friend for YEARS. Lames shippers like to say “oh but she and Snape weren’t friends anymore!! She didn’t ‘owe him anything!’” but like.. at the time, Snape was her best friend of 7 years, and James (knowing that they were friends) had no issue blatantly torturing him and publicly exposing him and then blackmailed Lily (not Snape, but Lily herself) into going out with him. This isn’t an issue about Snape or them not being friends anymore or whatever, it’s the fact that James—at least at one point of his life—had literally zero issue hurting the person Lily cared about and blackmailing her and threatening to hex her. The fact that he was even capable of SA, choking someone with soapsuds, immobilising them, relentlessly bullying them for years, all while knowing that they were someone Lily cared about, should have sent her running for the HILLS. All of that is putting aside that he also had no problem blackmailing Lily and then threatening to hex her when she wanted to defend her friend (“?? wtf girl? How dare you try to help out your friend after I just SA’d them and blackmailed you?? You better not make me hex you too 😠”).

And to make things worse…… what did James even do to change?? Stop bullying people?? Wow so incredible of him! That’s definitely going to reverse the damage of the people he did all that shit to! We should all applaud him for doing the absolute bare minimum!! I should definitely look past him assaulting my now-ex-best-friend-but-who-was-still-someone-I-cared-about-and-respected-at-one-point-in-my-life for 6 whole years, even though he never actually apologised to my now-ex-best-friend… which… would’ve been the proof that he actually changed… Oh who cares? I’m definitely going to date him anyway!

Like, I don’t even care if I wasn’t friends with that person anymore, the fact that YOU had no problem assaulting that person and making their life miserable for YEARS even though you know how much I care about them and then trying to force me into going out with you would be enough for me to not want to go out with you. Simply knowing that you were capable of doing such atrocious things to ANY human being is horrifying. That isn’t even regarding that he showed no hard evidence of changing, merely stopping the bullying does nothing to heal the victim of what you put them through. Like, if I went out and killed a bunch of people, and I suddenly decide to stop killing people, does that mean I’m not guilty of murder?

So, I don’t hate Lily, but I’m definitely not fond of her character. All her scenes show her being pretty unpleasant and she ended up marrying JAMES of all people, so yeah I’m definitely not going to think very highly of her intelligence level…

Anyway, that’s my take. I’m sorry for how long this got, but your ask really triggered something in me that’s been waiting to rant about this 💀

#anti lily evans #sure #anti jily #ughhh it’s been too long since i’ve used these tags #low-key miss it ngl #anti lily potter #tw: mention of sa #anti james potter #anti lily evans potter #severus snape #pro snape #pro severus snape #harry potter #hp #ask #asks

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ctheathy · 2 months

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WRITE ME REDSON X MALE READER 😭 DID I DO IT GOOD NOW!????

Red Son General Headcanons

Redson x Reader

General+Fluff Headcanons

Author’s note: Nuh uh you did absolutely TERRIBLE😡. I should just solve the problem and ban you from my account right now. You even went against my rules dipshi- [The requester and I are friends, don't cancel me]

Possibly OOC, but I tried. I had to depend on the wikipedia for information cause I've never even watched Monkie Kid to begin with. This was really just an exception for a friend of mine.

Redson/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

!Male Reader! • Paranoia

The level of priority towards reputation are often known to depend on a rank one was born into or the image they created for themselves over the course of time, which in this case is undoubtedly high... Redson has been shown to hold a lot of family pride and takes any chance to prove his authority over his subclasses. It's safe to say the the demon bull is likely going to have some difficulty swallowing his ego to allow emotional connections to grow and much less legitimise a romantic relationship with someone from the group he has grown acquainted with.

He can also be known to be rather petty and too prideful to accept his flaws. So if happens to be something that irritates you, you're definitely going to end up having one or more squabbles with the son of the Demon Bull King. Especially when it comes to Redson having a fierce temper and such, resulting in him trying to lecture you and get a completely insignificant point across. But I also believe you'd be more capable of keeping him in line instead of if you were to just go along with his behaviour. But it can also cause in a feast of awkwardness, as there have been several occasions where you embarrassingly have to hold Redson back from lashing out at a laughing MK and Mei for calling your arguments a lover's quarrel.

Though even with his high-and-mighty and hostile nature, it is important to remember that as long as a bond is formed, he won't ever actually harm or even remotely think of hurting you. Like, at all. He can be a bit bigmouthed at times, but many of his words should regularly be taken with a grain of salt. He is quick to snap at anyone from time to time, but I believe your presence would definitely keep him tame to a certain degree, as your mere existence just happens to soothe him. So on the bright side, you might be able to kick him off his high horse for the first time during his five hundred years of life.

I can picture Redson having grown up under a domain of regulation where females are generally and more often treated extra delicately due to being more ‘fragile’, so you can expect him to behave firmer, a bit more rough yet open to his real self a lot faster than if you were a female. He'll see you less as a ‘target’ for a lack of better term, and more as a comrade. Plus, if you were to give him the approval he lacked from his parents, it wouldn't feel uncomfortable as long as you have had the opportunity to create a connection. Though primarily, I cannot view intimate scenarios as anything other than plain awkward for a little while. You're gonna have to be the one initiating the hugs with him and give implications to get more touchy feely. Though when surrounded by eyewitnesses, he'll often still end up shooing you away ...you'll perhaps, just maybe absolutely get to hold his hand at most.

I mean, when's the last time you've seen somebody behaving sappy and all goo-goo with the literal son of the Demon Bull King out in the open? He just cannot allow it! Not only for the sake of his dignity, but also to keep up his image so you'll continue seeing him as an almighty demon who has an unnerving amount of political power over any lower rank. As far deep down, hidden within... he wants to appear and be so much more special to you than he'd be willing to admit.

If you were to lack in durability, fighting abilities or overall weapon skills, I can see Redson going out of his way to strictly teach you his ways of strength individually. Not necessarily in a sense to get you to his level, but in order to give you the capability to protect yourself. He would always be there to protect you with ferocious security at a moment's notice [and scold you afterwards for getting yourself in a dangerous situation], but he cannot help but doubt his abilities to ensure your safety at times. Along with fearing for the worst that one time he might not be there to save you. And this singular thought might just be what it takes to make him evaluate how he actually feels about you.

#lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid x reader #red son #redson x reader #red son x reader #lmk #lmk x reader #monkie kid #monkie kid x reader #male reader

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jovialbasementmusic · 7 months

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What do you do with a brainwashed army of cult survivors?

At the end of Heart Part 2, Etheria still has a population of thousands of Horde Prime’s clones. This is going to be, putting it mildly, a Problem for the Etherians. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what happens to a cult follower when they are faced with conclusive evidence that their entire worldview was false, but you probably have some intuitive idea. Imagine if you said to a young-Earth creationist “Hey, here are multiple overlapping lines of evidence proving beyond reasonable doubt that life on Earth evolved over hundreds of millions of years,” or to a Scientologist, “Check out this evidence that L. Ron Hubbard was a fraudster who started a cult as a money-making racket!” You can probably guess that in each of those cases, the response is unlikely to be, “Goodness, I have been mistaken all my life! Thank you, kind friend, for relieving me of my false beliefs.”

As someone who’s left a cult, let me tell you, the clones are not all gonna react like Hordak or Wrong Hordak.

You might have heard of cognitive dissonance theory, but most people misuse the term, so I’ll quickly explain it. When humans encounter information which contradicts or disproves their deeply held beliefs, they experience psychological discomfort. This feeling sucks, and people will go to great lengths not to experience it. But when those beliefs are central to your identity and your place in the world, letting go of those beliefs also sucks, and people will go to even greater lengths not to do it. So they resolve the cognitive dissonance however they can. They might decide the person who gave them this information is an evil liar and lash out at them. They might find a way to convince themselves the information is in fact compatible with their beliefs after all, and then try not to think too hard about whatever mangled assemblage of the facts they have settled on, in case it falls apart under closer examination. They might modify their beliefs slightly to fit the facts ("Prime always said he would go away for a while before returning in triumph!"), and then maintain that this is what they thought all along.

As an aside, one of the landmark texts on cognitive dissonance theory is When Prophecy Fails, which tracks the actions of a doomsday cult after the world failed to end on their predicted date. Sure enough, the acolytes of this cult did not abandon their beliefs despite this pretty concrete evidence that they had been wrong. Instead, they started recruiting new followers as hard as possible. They tried to get social reinforcement for their beliefs (“This must be true—look how many people believe it!”) to help them cope with the empirical disconfirmation they’d just lived through. So yeah, this theory is highly applicable to cult behaviour. And Prime’s clones are quite definitely a cult.

So it’s fair to say that just because the Hive Mind is down and She-Ra has just kicked Prime’s ass into oblivion, the clones are not all gonna just accept that Prime is gone and his mission is over. Some of them are going to continue fighting, convinced that Prime is not really gone. Some will insist that their connection to the Hive Mind is still intact, and deliver messages as the word of Prime. At least one clone is going to claim to be the reincarnation of Prime himself, and begin recruiting followers. More likely, several clones will attempt this gambit, creating factions with names like The True Followers of Prime and The Glorious Servants of Prime. These factions will go to war with each other in service of their Prime (honourable, redeeming) against the enemy’s Prime (evil, destructive). As time goes on, these factions’ ideas about Prime’s teachings will diverge, providing new opportunities for conflict. If they’re allowed to go on long enough, probably some benign and progressive versions of Prime’s cult will emerge, teaching that Prime in fact existed to bring peace and freedom to the Universe, and that those warlike factions have strayed from the true path of Prime.

All of this gives the people in charge of Etheria a headache. Etheria doesn’t believe in retributive justice, and as brainwashed cult members, the clones have diminished responsibility for war crimes they committed while Prime was alive. So it’s fair to say they can’t kill them. But they also can’t just ship them all off to live unsupervised in a colony somewhere in case they radicalise each other and start another war. Sure, some of them will follow Wrong Hordak into accepting that Prime lied to them, and they will find meaning by travelling the universe, attempting to restore planets Prime destroyed. Some, like Hordak, will give themselves names and begin the agonising process of creating an identity for themselves outside of everything they ever thought was true. But what of the rest of them? They’re essentially adult children, ignorant of everything Prime did not want them to know. They also trigger PTSD flashbacks in a great many citizens of Etheria, who cannot look at them without remembering what they suffered under the Horde.

What do you do with that many brainwashed survivors? What does compassion and restorative justice demand? I don’t know if I’ll get around to writing this as a fic or not, so here’s the setup and you can let your imaginations take it where you like. I’m new to tumblr and to the spop fandom, so if you read this far I’d really appreciate a reblog. And if anyone else has already had similar ideas, I’d really like to read them.

#spop #spop meta #horde prime #clone army #hordak #wrong hordak #shera

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the-paper-monkey · 11 months

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When writing child Tom Riddle, what do you consider to be important notes/key elements/aspects to keep in mind? I really struggle with writing child Tom Riddle because there is only one scene we get from him as a young adult. I adore your characterisation of Tom

Even though we don't get to spend much time with child Tom, I do think that scene tells us a fair bit about his character. I would say it's even better character material than the memories we have of his teenage years, as this scene with Dumbledore shows us a Tom that isn't very good at masking yet.

One of the most important takeaways regarding little Tom, as outlined in this brilliant post, is his speech patterns. Tom at eleven is not sophisticated. He doesn’t speak like a precocious governess-tutored pureblood child. He’s blunt and direct, speaks without artifice and has little awareness or care for politeness or hierarchy. He interrupts Dumbledore repeatedly during their short conversation, even after being reprimanded for his manners and conduct.

Since we know that the author doesn’t, um, shy away from writing out accents in dialogue, I think it’s fair to say he isn’t as ‘full Cockney’ as perhaps many of his peers, but Tom still has the manners of a street urchin and does not give a fuck. Tom is a child who is used to commanding respect from both his peers and the adult Muggles in his life. Dumbledore neither being intimidated nor capitulating to his demands makes Tom uneasy. He doesn’t feel safe around people who aren’t frightened of him.

Tom doesn't know how to handle a world where he isn't the top dog. He's learning, undoubtedly, and practising his future model student persona, but he isn't very good at it yet. It doesn't come naturally to him, and he's clumsy with it. To me, that's one of the things that makes eleven-year-old Tom so endearing.

Another thing that is clear with a child Tom but not a teenage Tom, is his high level of emotional volatility. He’s far from the creepy, distant child that we see in the HBP film. Book Tom oscillates from one emotion to the next fast enough to give any reader whiplash. He swings from distrust, to fury, to wild joy, to politeness, to fear, then finally withdraws to a shrewd, calculating distance—all within his brief conversation with Dumbledore. I do think it’s important to recognise that Tom has never been fearless; after all, he destroys himself precisely in response to an all-consuming obsession with those fears. We already see a preoccupation with death, his mother’s death in particular, and a belief that his magic will save him from a similar fate.

But what Tom isn't is a coward. When faced with a person or problem that frightens him, he addresses this head-on at first and tries to brute force his way through it, either through aggression or violence. Only when that doesn't work does he draw back and begin to think strategically, attempting to charm and ingratiate himself. As a teenager we see that he learns that the second strategy is going to work best for him, but it isn't really in his nature. By adulthood, he has reverted to form. In many ways Tom at eleven is closer to Voldemort in behaviour than Tom at sixteen.

Also, side note: while I was rereading this scene for the post I noticed that Tom actually believes his father is dead. When he asks Dumbledore about him, he doesn’t ask if his father is a wizard, he asks if he was a wizard. At this age, it hasn’t yet occurred to Tom that his father might still be living, just with no interest in finding his son.

#possibly it doesn't occur to him until Morfin tells him at sixteen #tom riddle #asks #anon #i want to squish his cheeks #feral baby #papermonkey meta

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purpleberiii · 3 months

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"Payback"

☆Prompt: Nightingale and you are married. You are the head of the Arrest department and obsessed with money. You'd literally to anything/anyone for money even cheating on your wife.

☆Warnings: G!P Reader, G!P chief, Reader being a bit of a jerk (I love you pookies😭), Slight Angst? Nightingale having sex with chief, slightly dom! Nightingale.

Money is everything in your eyes. Money controlled your mind. You did love your wife but you also loved Money and that was a problem. It wasn't a problem at first but after two years of being married to the Adjutant of MBCC, she found that your behaviour had changed recently, she even discussed this with the chief, asking her to keep a close eye on you.

Well Chief did exactly that when she found you going into Chelsea's cell one night and blocking out the Camera. Immediately, Chief ordered Hecate to send Nightmare to sneak and take a peek and the thing that poor nightmare saw gave it a nightmare.

Through Nightmare, Hecate saw what you did and she reported it to chief, leaving her enraged. Once you were done with Chelsea, you came out with a stack of cash, smiling... but deep down you felt a whole ass guilty. Nightingale has been nothing but a sweet wife to you and despite her having such tiring duties, you were her top priority.

The hookup with Chelsea was out of pure greed and you felt as if you just tarnished your love for nightingale, swearing to never do it again. Chief had already told Nightingale what happened and she was left astonished that you would even go as far as that. Nightingale took a whole two days, spending it in chief's office, breaking down and getting angry, but these two days made her come up with the perfect plan. One that would surely leave you agitated.

The recent events of MBCC left the arrest department on a hectic schedule and you were busy filling reports after reports. Nightingale came in your office with a gentle but fake smile, a smile that you had grown to love however, you couldn't bring yourself to look at her. "You've been working hard these last few days my dear," she trailed off, rubbing your tense shoulders. You relaxed under her touch, sighing in bliss.

"Hmmm... I know love. With the recent events, we're quite busy."

"You need a break. Do you want a break? I've already asked Chief to extend the deadlines for the report and she said its okay. Now let's go home, I've got a surprise for you," her hot breath tickled your ear as she pulled away and began walking towards the door, her hips swaying from side of side. You gritted your teeth, feeling aroused.

Nightingale and you both reached home in less than a few minutes and she led you to the bedroom. A chair was placed infront of the bed and she ordered you to sit down. You confusingly did so, and suddenly felt your hands being tied behind the chair. "W-what's going on?!"

Chief walked out from behind you, a subtle smirk on her face. "I know what you did Y/n. Cheating on me just for money. How low can you stoop for money huh?" Your eyes widened, how did she know? Then you looked at Chief, a hint of aggression in her eyes.

"But let's see how you'll feel after watching me take your wife." Chief immediately began undressing Nightingale, revealing a very sexy lacy lingerie; your favourite one. Your mouth was left opened when you saw Nightingale clashing tongues with the Chief.

They took it to the bed and Nightingale unbuckled Chief's belt and took off her pants, leaving her with a boner for YOUR wife. "W-what do you think you're doing?! Sto-did I stop you when you were fucking that sinner?"

You gulped. She didn't know. How could she have stopped you? Nightingale wrapped her hand around chief's shaft and began stroking it tenderly while looking up at chief with a smile. Pre-cum dribbled down the tip of her shaft and Nightingale licked a broad stripe, tracing the vein.

Was this revenge? If it was, it was hot. Despite it being wrong, you felt extremely hard, your dick straining against your garments. Chief turned nightingale around so she could face you as she took your wife from behind. Pushing in gentle, handling her gently, something you never did during sex. Nightingale seemed to like the gentleness shown by the Chief and you began thinking that maybe she's better off without you.

As chief was fully inside her, she began thrusting, pulling out a string of moans from her. You could see a bulge forming in Nightingale's stomach. Was the chief that deep? You thrashed around in the chair, wanting to get out the restraints and either take her from front or kill the chief but you couldn't do neither as you were tied tightly down.

"F-fuck chief... you're fucking me so good~ keep going just like that~"

Those heavenly moans that spilled from her mouth was once only heard by you, but now your stupid obsession caused this. "Your tight... has your wife not been fucking you good?" Chief asked in a mocking tone as Nightingale squealed when chief picked up her pace.

You felt more heartbreak than aroused at this point, the way Nightingale looked at you, you could clearly see that she didn't want to do this but she felt good so it didn't matter. She wanted you to feel how it felt knowing that somebody else is fucking your wife.

"I-I'm cumming! Fuck Chief keep going!" With a few more thrusts, Nightingale came undone, squirting on the bed as Chief came inside of her.

"Did... did you just come in her?..." you asked, your voice cracked. Nightingale felt her heart pinged at the voice crack but she shook it off. You caused this upon yourself.

They went a few more rounds, switching positions, saying all sorts of things that both aroused and hurt you. You felt like your dick would explode as well as your heart. Once they were done, Nightingale was fucked out on the bed, her cum mixed with Chief's leaking out of both holes. She never did anal with you, but she did it with chief. She was fast asleep, and Chief kissed her head before putting a blanket over her.

Chief put on her clothes and untied you, nor afraid if you'd kill her but she knew you wouldn't as you were too in shock. "Come with me." Her orders were firm and she led you to a building, heading to the rooftop where it was peaceful and quiet.

"Firstly, I apologise for doing that but it was Nightingale's plan." You sat on the edge, your face buried in your knees as you stared off into the distance. Your dick was still hard but you were too heartbroken to even care.

"I deserved it. I made a stupid mistake by agreeing to Chelsea's wish."

"I will have a talk with her. Money isn't everything y/n. Sure you may all the best things in the world but you wouldn't find someone who would love you like Nightingale would."

You stayed quiet, listening to her talk. "Before the two of you got married, she kept blabbing to me about how she couldn't wait to marry you. It was a different side I saw that day, a side only you could bring out," she chuckled remembering the day she kept telling her about her future plans with you.

"I know you're hardly ever gentle with her. You're a workaholic and I get that you love money but something as a simple as paper could destroy your life. You're on the verge of losing the love of your life y/n and I never expected this from considering I'm closer to you than anyone."

"...I messed up really bad..." finally the tears came out. "I thought I would've died of heartfailure in there. Is that how Nightingale felt?"

"Imagine if she had witnessed it first hand."

"I don't want too. Will she forgive me, chief?"

"... only if you prove yourself worthy of being forgiven. You need to work for it. If you need any help, come to me. Again, I'm sorry for doing that." Chief gave you a pat on the back before leaving. You needed to earn her forgiveness, you had too.

And from now on, no more greed for money, no more rough behaviour for your wife. She is the love of your life and you intended to show it.

A/n:

Part 2?

#path to nowhere nightingale #nightingale x chief #path to nowhere nightingale x reader #nightingale x reader #ptn nightingale #nightingale ptn x reader #ptn #path to nowhere

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whovianderson · 3 months

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Why does Fox Mulder mean so much to me?

Trigger warnings: discussions of trauma, abuse, cancer, suicide, depression

Fox Mulder is so much more than a character to me. Never have I seen the inner workings of my mind represented in the way that I do in him. I feel like we understand each other, like we function the same way in this world.

Not to state the obvious, but Mulder is traumatised. Samantha’s disappearance changed his brain chemistry, and in turn, his life. As someone who has complex PTSD as a result of relationship abuse, I relate to this more than I can say. In ‘Oubliette’, Mulder’s desperation to change the course of events was out of fear of a repeat of what happened to Samantha. In this, I see myself trying to ensure that nothing like what I experienced happens again, both because of its effects on the other person, and on me. Of course, I've had to learn the hard way that I am ultimately powerless to control what happens to others. The difficulties I’ve had coming to terms with that are portrayed perfectly by Mulder's distress when he realised that Lucy had sacrificed herself for Amy, despite his best efforts. There's also a sense of inevitability and inescapability from the cycle of trauma when such things keep happening that is deeply harrowing.

In ‘Demons’, Mulder’s fear of not knowing something traumatic that happened reminded me of what I have been grappling with for years. As well as trauma from a past relationship, my sister has further traumatised me due to her severe mental health problems. It would trigger my own too much for me to know everything that is happening to her, but the unknown is worse for me, because I can't process it. My traumatised mind jumps to the worst case scenario. Thus, once again, Mulder’s reaction to being left in the dark felt like I was looking in a mirror. The sympathetic way in which his behaviour in this episode was written shows how no reaction can be considered disproportionate when it's because you're traumatised, and that is beyond validating for me. The depiction of flashbacks here also felt painfully accurate.

In ‘Memento Mori’, I recognised a lot of Mulder’s emotions due to my own experiences of life-threatening illness in people I love. Little did I know how much harder ‘Redux’ would hit! In ‘Redux’, Mulder believes he is responsible for Scully’s cancer and impending death. I know firsthand what it’s like to hold yourself responsible for someone else’s life, what it feels like to believe that you are killing somebody. I was continually shown that I couldn’t save the very person who told me I had to, because she kept getting sicker. As a result, other people’s suffering has become synonymous with my own personal failure and the consequent guilt in my mind. I would rather be failed by somebody else than have failed myself. This means that exactly like Mulder, on the verge of suicide in this episode, I would rather be the one who dies than feel so crushingly guilty. While horrible to witness, I have never seen the mental deterioration of a character who has assumed responsibility for another’s life so accurately portrayed, and that makes me feel more understood than ever before.

The entire premise of ‘The X-Files’ is that Mulder refuses to come to terms with his sister’s disappearance. His constant search for an alternative explanation, no matter how far-fetched, is what drives his character from the beginning. As an audience, we can see how that’s a form of denial, as can characters like Scully. Scully says “if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then I fear Agent Mulder may lose his course”. I haven’t finished the show yet, but having watched seven seasons, I am confident when I say that the crux of its development is that Mulder comes to understand “where he’s going”, without relying on “where he’s been”. As someone with a past that they quite frankly would rather die than relive, it brings me so much hope to think that I don’t have to dwell on it, that like Mulder learns to over the course of the show, I can live my life free of its shackles. That’s why ‘Closure’ is such a significant episode. However much one tries, it is impossible to explain away trauma - it happened, and one simply has to come to terms with its incomprehensible injustice. That is exactly what Mulder does here. It’s ironically titled, because there is no closure when it comes to the past, but he shows that personal growth isn’t dependent on getting that closure. Instead, he is of his own volition able to let go of the coping mechanism that has driven him up to this point: his belief that Samantha was abducted. Engaging in various types of therapy, including EMDR, to overcome my own coping mechanisms in response to my trauma is the scariest thing I have ever had to do (and that’s saying something). Seeing not only that journey represented onscreen, but shown coming to fruition, means everything.

Mulder’s trauma should incline him to be distrustful of everyone, as his ‘trust no one’ catchphrase would suggest. He evidently knows this, and yet he wants to believe in other people’s integrity so much so that it overrides the fear, and he trusts them anyway. He will take people at their word, whether that be about UFO sightings or something else. He chooses to see the good in everybody, despite having every reason not to, because, in his words, “if you don’t start trusting someone, you don’t stand a chance”. This attitude is possibly the aspect of my own personality about which I am most insecure. I used to hate myself so much for it that I wouldn’t open up to anyone at all in an effort to change who I was. I suppose I hated acting against what my experiences had shown to be true: that I could ‘trust no one’. Since meeting Mulder, though, I have thought of him every single time I begin to hate myself for being this way. This soothes me more than I can possibly describe. He makes me feel like it’s okay to be like me, or should I say, like us. Me wanting to believe in other people is not the detestable thing I had always viewed it as. I don’t think I would be able to carry on if it weren’t for his presence in this part my life. I cannot overstate his impact on me here.

Part of the reason for both me and Mulder being so trusting of others is because we do not trust ourselves. Deep down, he is insecure about whether his belief in Samantha’s abduction is credible, and so he relies on others to evidence it. For me, I do not treat my experiences as legitimate, and so I need other people’s responses to give me the validation that I cannot find within myself.

If it weren’t already obvious, I am autistic. My predisposition to trust, taking things at face value, is one manifestation of my autism. That’s not to say it’s the same for every autistic person, of course, but for me and for Mulder, I believe it is. In general, he is one of the most clearly autistic-coded characters I have ever encountered. He is ostracised by his peers and written off as ‘spooky’ for being different, something that many of us go through. Maybe, like it is for me, that’s part of the reason why he trusts people right off the bat: he wants to get the rejection that he’s used to facing out of the way before he puts in any effort. Or maybe he’s just a bad judge of what is and isn’t appropriate in a social context, again very much a trait of autism. And that’s not to mention his devotion to the X-Files and to Scully. Him surrendering every part of himself to them is exactly how I relate to the world, because all-or-nothing thinking is a huge way in which my autism functions. I was actually only diagnosed with autism two years ago, and having representation, implied or otherwise, in a character as alike to me as Mulder has helped me settle into my new identity.

It would be remiss not to further explore the fact that Mulder wouldn’t be Mulder without Scully. In the pilot, he tells Scully about his theory because he desperately wants someone on his side. She ends up not being the person he thinks he wants, but the person he actually needs. Without her, he wouldn’t have made it to the place he does in ‘Closure’; she challenges the beliefs he uses to cope, but most importantly, she loves him through it. Scully shows Mulder how genuine love can be when you’re not just being told what you want to hear, and as a result, she becomes the only person whom he can truly rely upon. The most important similarity between me and Mulder is of course that I too am in love with Scully! Scully is an incredible character who I would love to write more about in her own right, but I don’t feel as personally connected to her as I do to Mulder. I guess I’ll just say that I hope that I, and every other Mulder out there, find our Scully. People like us have so much love to give. We love so much and so deeply that people who return our love in full are almost impossible to find. One in five billion, you could say.

I cannot wait to get to know different facets of my all-time favourite character as I finish watching ‘The X-Files’. I know he will only become more important to me, especially since I know he ends up struggling with depression like I do. I hope I’ve demonstrated in writing this how beyond grateful I am to have been introduced to him, someone who is practically more me than I am! The fandom is a wonderful place to be, but in writing this, I also aim to remind myself how much the show and Mulder’s character mean to me personally.

Like Mulder, I am constantly moving, driven by the thought that “I wouldn’t know what I’d be missing”. But every once in a while, something comes along that makes me want to stay with it forever. And ‘The X-Files’, specifically the character of Fox Mulder, is one of them.

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