innateapathy - Tumblr blog

innateapathy · 27 days

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I have no one I can talk to.

No one to bare my inner soul to.

No one to hide behind when I'm scared.

Of all these people that say they love me.

There's not one I can reach out to.

Not one who sees that I'm drowning.

No one who'll try and save me.

Will they at least mourn me?

#self expression #poem #poetry #micropoetry #bpd #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #borderline personality problems #living with mental illness #mental illness #im alone #suicide sunday #sunday blues #i write #living with ptsd #is anyone listening #cant save myself

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innateapathy · 2 months

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Borderline

Definition: (adj.) barely acceptable in quality or as belonging to a category; on the borderline.

I do not know the difference

between dark and light;

war and peace;

or absent and present.

There is no gray area

for someone like me.

Because I, myself,

am the borderline.

I am either

content and euphoric

or paranoid and depressed.

Never in the middle.

I do not choose my emotions,

but I choose how I react.

I will never take my anger out

on a friend or stranger.

I will never let my sadness

affect those around me.

Instead, I will let these emotions

eat me from the inside out.

They will burn in my chest

and cause stabbing headaches.

Yet I still ensure

that my suffering is silent.

But I will share

my happiness and hobbies

with the people I love.

I will put on a mask

and make sure that they are okay;

because that is how I was raised.

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innateapathy · 6 months

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I have no place in this home.

Voices traveling through the walls.

No one talks to me.

Hidden in this room alone.

Alone, alone, always alone.

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innateapathy · 8 months

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I JUST NOTICED THIS IN THE ENDING!! 😪

Please bring Akutagawa back to life so Dazai can tell him He is Worthy.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd akutagawa #bsd dazai #bsd anime #bsd 5 #anime fandom #summer anime 2023 #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs akutagawa

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innateapathy · 9 months

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I actually hate everyone!!

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innateapathy · 1 year

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Why can't you just hate me!

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innateapathy · 1 year

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I want to fly,

Plummet freely from up high.

Stretch my hands out,

Towards the nearing ground.

A freedom just for me.

I want to fly,

Right to my death.

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innateapathy · 1 year

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Honestly, this song is so powerful. Making peace with our truma that's carried us this far but held us back so much farther.

#nf #new music #new album #mental health #my fave song #favorite song #nf real music #music blog #musician #music #rap song #sad songs #borderline personality disorder #Spotify

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innateapathy · 1 year

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The peaceful acceptance of potential death. Sigma was honestly free.

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innateapathy · 1 year

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Feeling down, lost, confused, angry, jealous are all parts of the human condition.

Don't fight them.

Understand them.

Accept them.

Love them and go beyond them.💗

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innateapathy · 1 year

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He said don't doubt me for a freaking second!

#bungou stray dogs #ango sakaguchi #bsd anime #bsd s4 #pretty anime boys #favorite anime #anime fandom #winter anime 2023 #bsd atsushi #bsd mushitaro #new episode #latest episode #character development #character growth #bsd kyouka #bsd dazai

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innateapathy · 1 year

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Moral of the story,

Always finish what you start.

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innateapathy · 1 year

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I'm all alone. Sacrificing myself for your peace of mind. Am I your favorite now? Do you see me now? Have I done enough to earn your love? Please tell me it's okay to rest now.

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innateapathy · 1 year

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Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.

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innateapathy · 1 year

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I'm empty.

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innateapathy · 1 year

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Excuse me but how are you this pretty???

#bungou stray dogs #bsd chuya #pretty anime boys #pretty boy #bsd season 4 #bsd manga #winter anime 2023 #anime 2023 #anime fandom #favorite anime #anime #fan girl

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innateapathy · 1 year

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An absolute masterpiece of a song...the road through the darkness and towards the light.

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