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#who cares if i finish a 2nd one or not
airenyah · 1 month
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should i just. study theater- film- und medienwissenschaft
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iheart2manyfandoms · 6 months
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I was today years old when I realized.
I'm rewatching doctor who. Haven't watched it in ages. The anniversary hype got to me alright. So I'm watching gridlock. Doctor opens the bottom of the car as the smoke clears
I pause the show to get a good look at it and I'm like. Huh those look like the Macra
I press play AND 2 SECONDS LATER HE CONFIRMS IT.
MACRA! As in second doctor The Macra Terror Macra! And I never noticed!
AAAHHH
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sandsofdteam-moved · 2 years
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good morning it looks like there's still residual mcc discourse but also apparently punz lost like 80RR from when George ended last night 😭 Praying he stays in immortal for the rest of the act if he ends in ascendant I will be pissed on his behalf
#discourse#<- I'm just gonna do a lil vent about it in the tags don't open them if you don't want to see it :] hopefully it all tides over soon#i think the discourse is stupid tbh it's not a hill to die on for either side 😭#like personally I both agree and disagree w drm and that's okay#I think they SHOULD have redone the event#bc a quarter of the contestants in a relatively small event is a significant amount and warranted some kind of action#and I'm aware that there was likely no way to manually change the scores but they should have just counted the best time across attempts#that way it's fair for both players who did disconnect and did great the second run and for those whose momentum got knocked the 2nd time#the way that they did it in competition was probably the best and only way to handle it which sucks :/#however he was totally right in questioning why they waited for so many people to finish before deciding to reset#most likely it's bc they needed the round to finish so they could replay the game but why not say anything at all until after 30+ finishes?#anyways. I think that he had every right to complain and also much like last sg the vod watch ended up w a karmic resolution so why care#look a fair analysis of both that rationalizes the reason for both shocking#ppl on the anti-drm side are overreacting bc he had both valid criticism and the right to do so#like imagine your entire team morale being super high bc they did great and then someone says jk didn't count do it again#and then you have to keep up with the expectation of the first time only to underperform like that'd be stuck in my head for ages too#plus around his little rants he made sure to say that it was his frustration towards what had happened and that sending the#crew/event hate was fucking stupid and no one should do that bc it really is a wonderful event and they put their souls into running it#is there room for valid criticism of both parties? hell yeah but it doesn't seem like anyone is actually doing it 😭#it's ppl with residual drm hate getting more ammo and making it into a bigger deal than it really needs to be#but we're also amplifying it like for the discourse to die ppl need to stop talking about it so this is my one little vent I'm done now#anyways. yesterday was epic like despite all of their setbacks and two of their best games sitting out yellow managed to pull it together#their epic skybattle rampage? george being cracked during meltdown? skeppy's only skb weakness being the border??#there's so much more stuff that we could be positively focused on#also george's first win in nearly two years dream reclaiming most landed shots in db skephalo making out in the winners' circle or smth#also after a really sad first db loss for drm last canon db he was in he managed to do so fucking well this time and sweep AGAIN#like they can't contain him even w anti-sweep mechanisms in place LOL#scuffed tourney for sure but it had such fun moments too we should focus on those
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elainemorisi · 2 years
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why does my house have a (full!) bathroom on the floor with no bedroom and a (large!!) bedroom on the floor with no bathroom. aaaaaaaarg
#these being the 2nd and basement floors#so also obnoxiously difficult to renovate!#(2nd being the top/roof/attic)#iteration 2324 of my immense griping about the general incomprehensibility of non-romantic companionship: built environment flavor#this goddamn house has the goddamn space and the goddamn rooms for another goddamn adult who I am not GODDAMN FUCKING#but just didn't care to put those goddamn rooms near one another why on earth#what suburban use for a FULL BATH IN THE BASEMENT is there#(that is half the ire; if it were just a toilet it at least wouldn't be taunting me like this)#it's a fully submerged basement this isn't some half-finished walkout mother in law suite#let us all once again sing the cheery tune#'why on earth have we decided to tie fucking somebody to all this other unrelated shiiiiiit'#'at least when it was a logical part of the business arrangement there was a reaaaasooooon'#I like that fine! I like romantic relationships fine!#I do not like pursuing them for the sake of actually fully unrelated life goals that feels incredibly disgusting and I won't do it!#(not like morally on a grand scale... ish. like if someone WANTS a romantic partner who is also all the other kinds of partner god bless#I'm fully agnostic on that matter so the idea of dating because I want a roommate is just urg. creeps me the hell out#not as bad as the last iteration of this problem of course which would've been dating because I want a kid. but still bad!)#and I want a roommate damnit :(#but I sure would like to be able to provide them with a reasonably separate personal space too but ALAS
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featherymainffins · 2 months
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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irisintheafterglow · 8 months
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[bernie sanders voice] i am once again.. thinking about coparenting megumi with boyfriend!satoru.
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"so you're both megumi's..."
"guardians," you smile politely, praying stupid shit doesn't leave the mouth of the boy next to you. it's wishful thinking.
"yes," he beams so tenderly that you resist the urge to scrunch your nose in disgust. he takes your clammy hand lightly in his and turns back to megumi's teacher. "we had him young." a soft ow comes from under satoru's breath as you kick him under the table, forcing an expression of normalcy onto your face.
you hated parent-teacher conferences because it reminded you just how abnormal megumi and tsumiki's situation was. they had no parents, nor did they have any close relatives that cared for them the way a family should. that left you and the white-haired idiot in the tiny seat next to you to fill in that duty, and between missions and training students, you weren't around as often as you wanted to be.
"i...see," the teacher says hesitantly, eyeing your boyfriend with obvious unease. after a moment, she regains her composure and refocuses on you completely. "is there anything you wish to discuss before we begin?"
"not for me, no."
"when can we get him bumped up a grade? or have him skip one altogether?" every single word that comes from satoru's mouth is a joke but it still has your face burning with embarrassment that you were associated with him. "you know, i skipped a few grades when i was young."
"i can tell," you whisper and he pinches the flesh of your thigh between two fingers in defiance.
"i believe that skipping grades would be unwise at this time, as we haven't done any testing yet-"
"he was kidding, i swear," you say apologetically and, thankfully, the teacher continues as if on a script.
"i see. well, megumi is progressing wonderfully in the class. he's very adept at reading and writing, but he does struggle with math sometimes. it's nothing to be worried about; many children struggle with math at his age." you nod in understanding but grimace inwardly. megs always wanted you to help him with math homework since satoru became frustrated with the problems faster than the actual 2nd grader.
"for being the strongest, he's not that smart," megumi stated bluntly one night while you helped him on a coffee table in the teacher's lounge. you'd sent satoru on a walk around campus after his distress was clearly bothering megumi, who ended up suffering more from satoru's "help" than benefiting. "you're not around that much anymore to help me so i don't know what to do." his tiny eyebrows furrow and you reach out to run your fingers through his spiky black hair.
"i'm really sorry i'm not around as much anymore. do you want me to ask nanami? he handles math all the time."
"i think that'd be worse than satoru."
"you can't get much worse than satoru, buddy," you concede and his mouth turns up a little bit. nothing like a little insulting his mentor to get the boy's mood improved. still, his frown returns like it's his default expression.
"what if i can't do it? what if i'm not like everyone else?" it made your chest ache in a different way when megumi or his sister said something like that, like they were well aware that they weren't normal children. your heart panged for them and mourned their loss of a "normal" childhood just because they were born into a big three clan. it wasn't fair and it was something you lamented to satoru almost every week. you couldn't tell the boy any of that, though, no matter how much you wanted to explain why he wasn't like the rest of the kids in his class.
"just try your best, okay? sometimes, that's all we can do. you're already doing great by asking for help. it's not your fault if someone doesn't know how to help you, so just keep trying." he nodded determinedly; after another hour past dinnertime, you finally finished walking him through the rest of the problems while satoru draped his lanky body over the couch behind you, watching defeatedly over your shoulder.
"is there anything we can do to help him with math?" you ask, unconsciously weaving your fingers with satoru's and giving it a light squeeze. he squeezes back three times. i-love-you.
"he just needs a little reassurance that he's on the right track sometimes."
"mmm, don't we all," you murmur and you don't expect the teacher to laugh softly under her breath, muttering her agreement. before you know it, you've organized megumi's papers into his folder and picked him up from the playground outside his classroom, taking his hand as you walk back to the car.
"your teacher says you're doing well in class."
"really?"
"mhmm, though i didn't need her to tell me that since i already know." you shoot him a small smile, leaning into satoru's body as his arm wraps around your torso. "you, however, need to learn some manners," you lightheartedly tease, knocking your elbow against his abs. "you were not helping in there, you menace."
"it was boring, what do you want me to do?" his tone is so carefree, so comfortingly satoru it made your heart melt.
"it's a parent-teacher conference, not parents. you could have waited outside if you were so bored. went to play on the playground or something." his head dips close to your ear and you feel some strands of his hair brush against your skin.
"but then i don't get to watch you be all mature and put-together."
"trying to follow my example?"
"trying to break your composure," he corrects with a sly grin. "i'm the fun one, after all."
"that's one way to put it," megumi deadpans without hesitation and you stifle a snort.
"i'm one of a kind!"
"you're out of your mind, is what you are." before he can protest, you press a kiss to his cheek and he turns a slightly opaquer shade of pink. "but i wouldn't have you any other way."
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myfictionaldreams · 11 months
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Accidents Happen // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: You were visiting a friend when you were accidentally hit in the face, leaving behind a cut across your cheekbone. How will Steve and Bucky react when they see their girl injured?
Requested by: @theatrelove3000​ (thank you so much for the message! I hope your eye is doing better and I hope you enjoy this fic)
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, hints of winter solider, minor injuries/reader is injured, protectiveness, possessive behaviour, anxiety, pool sex, butt plugs, anal/vaginal sex, double penetration, handjob, multiple orgasms, sir kink, praise kink, size kink, bucky needs a hug, mentions of murder, not beta read
Words: 6.4k
my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link 
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Making friends whilst being in close connection with the mafia was both easy and difficult. Easy because you meet hundreds of new people every month and difficult because many of them were dangerous and untrustworthy. On the rare occasion, a friendship would be created and even though you were busy nearly every day for the gang, you still attempted to spend time with them.
Especially on special days such as your best friend’s baby's birthday. You’d met Laura Barton through her husband Clint, whom you’d met through Natasha. The two of you instantly bonded over having partners in dangerous jobs and if you ever needed a break, she’d always welcome you to her home with a hot drink ready and the kids running rampant which was a great distraction.
Today, it was her youngest, Nate’s 2nd birthday so you’d spent the afternoon celebrating with cakes and toys with the family. By early evening, you were the only one remaining, finally having time to cuddle with the toddler who was playing with the plastic toy train that you’d bought him as a present.
“What time are you and the boys leaving for the hotel?” Laura asked in between bites of vanilla cake. 
Your head flew back to avoid the wild swing of Nate’s tiny arm as he continued to play with the toy, making little noises with his mouth that made you smile. “Um, I think around 7, it’ll only take us half an hour to drive there but I can’t wait! Even though we are going for work, the hotel is stunning, and of course, Steve had to buy the best room, I think we’ve even got our own private pool”.
Laura’s eyebrows raised, letting out a low whistle, “They really do live a life of luxury. If they ever want to treat Clint and me to a weekend away any time soon I’d be forever in their debt”.
You laughed at your friend, “I’ll see what I can do”. Turning to look at Nate and poking the tip of his nose, “Do you think mommy deserves a trip away?” As you asked, you made the grave mistake of not watching his arm and there's one thing about toddlers, it was that they were surprisingly strong as he swung the train toy and accidentally smacked you in the face with it. “Oof, ok I’m taking that as a no”.
“Shit! Are you ok? Nate be careful”, Laura chastised to her son as she took him into her arms.
“It’s ok, he didn’t mean it, I’m fine”.
“You aren’t fine, you’re bleeding!” Laura was looking at you with wide eyes.
You were still slightly in shock, trying to remain calm to not scare Nate but you couldn’t deny it, your face was throbbing. Excusing yourself, you rushed to the bathroom and glanced into the mirror. “Shit, the boys are going to go crazy”. The toddler had managed to hit you right underneath your eye, the sharp corner had cut the skin and the surrounding area was already swelling and felt tender. Sighing to yourself, you cleaned the bleeding cut, thankfully it wasn’t deep enough for stitches and the bleeding had stopped already but with the location, you knew you’d probably end up with a black eye over the next day or so.
After you finished cleaning up, you spent a couple of minutes contemplating what the fuck you were going to say to Steve and Bucky. There wasn’t any way you’d be able to hide it with makeup and there wasn’t anything they hated more than seeing you hurt and you knew an overreaction was coming your way. Should you call them or tell them in person? At least in person, you could stop them from running off on a vengeance before you could even explain what had happened so decided you’d wait to tell them.
Leaving the bathroom, you found Laura waiting anxiously with the kids all playing in another room. She took one look at your face before mumbling, “Shit. Does this make me number one on the Rogers mafia hit list?” she joked but you knew she was also slightly serious.
Walking closer to your friend, you took her hands and grinned, even though the action hurt your cheek. “Not it doesn’t, it’s absolutely fine, the boys love Nate they’ll forgive him for anything. I should probably go through, face the music now rather than waiting around”.
You called Sam to pick you up and he text you once outside. Giving Laura and the kids a big hug, you reassured her once more that everything would be ok before leaving her house and walking down the path to the parked SUV with Sam in the driving seat. As you saw him, you waved happily, trying to appear as at ease as possible to keep the tension calm.
However, the moment you were close enough for him to notice the injury to your face, his smile dropped, eyebrows frowning as he hastily got out of the car, rushing to you. “Sam it’s fine-”.
“Who did this to you?” he asked urgently, hands cupping your jaw and tilting your face so he could examine your cut closely. Sam’s face was contorted into anger, something rarely displayed by your bodyguard and friend as he usually likes to be sarcastic and funny when around you.
Lifting your hands, you held onto his wrists, trying to pull him away but he held strong having not finished checking your injury. “Nate accidentally hit me with his toy train… A TODDLER hit me Sam so please relax”.
Thankfully he did. The tension in his shoulders eased as well as the frown on his face. Eyes still flicking across the cut, he instructed, “Tell me when it starts to hurt”. Carefully, he pressed his fingers across your face, inching towards the wound and you informed it where it began to be tender, so he knew just had big the injury was and how bruised it was beneath the swelling. It took a couple of minutes before he seemed somewhat at ease about the injury, finally looking away from the injury to look at the rest of your face before the corner of his lip turned up, “so a baby hurt you this much, huh?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, gently pushing against his shoulder, “Yes! He’s stronger than he looks and yes, I am very embarrassed so please never bring it up again”.
Sam laughed as well, placing his arm over your shoulder and turning the two of you back towards the car. “Oh, you know I’m going to bring it up at any opportunity right?”
Rolling your eyes, you climbed into the car, pulling your seatbelt across your front as he did the same in the driver’s seat. “I could just have Steve or Bucky demand you to never bring it up again”, you suggested unseriously.
Sam’s smile faltered as he began to drive the two of you to the office, “I’m assuming you’ve not told either of them yet? Feel like we need to call everyone in to try and keep them both calm, they’re going to go apeshit when they see you”.
Sighing heavily, you had to refrain from wiping your face. “I thought about calling them but I know they wouldn't listen to me after I’ve told them about it so decided it was better to tell them in person. I just hope that it doesn’t ruin our trip away, I mean, maybe they’ll be calm because it was a baby, there will be no need to go on a vengeance tour of Brooklyn”.
Sam looked towards you with an awkward smile and that’s all you needed to see to know that was most likely not going to happen today.
Arriving at the warehouse, you tried to ignore the glances from other gang members when they noticed the cut to your face, a tension quickly building in the atmosphere which only meant your anxiety increased. You tried to smile at everyone to ease the nerves but it didn’t seem to work. It was only as you and Sam walked into the elevator and it was just the two of you did you release a deep, aggravated groan.
“I’m screwed aren’t I”, you say, glancing at Sam as he rolled up his sleeves like he was preparing for a fight.
“You aren’t screwed, I think you’re the only one who is actually safe”, he reminded you as the doors opened to the corridor to Steve’s office. The two of you walked at a slow pace, your head hanging low so that you didn’t see Steve and Bucky’s bodyguard waiting outside of the closed office door.
“Who died?” Natasha joked, seeing the solemn reaction from you both. Your head snapped up to her, about to reassure her that everything was fine but the words floated away as her grin instantly dropped at seeing your cheek. “What happened?” she asked in an authoritative tone, closing the gap with a single step, hands gripping your face much like Sam had.
Trying to keep your voice as steady and as calm as possible, you explained, “Little Nate decided the toy train had better use on my face than in the normal way”.
It took Natasha longer than usual to believe you, only accepting it as she glanced towards Sam who nodded his head and let go of your face. “Well… we’re all in for a long night then”, she joked but this time there was a hint of warning in her tone.
“Don’t say that, you should have seen what it was like downstairs”. You took a deep breath before continuing, “It’s going to be absolutely fine. I’m going to walk in there, explain to them that a toddler hit me in the face, let them have a little freakout and then we are all going to remain calm and continue with our trip away and it’s all going to be fine”. Niehter Sam or Natasha seemed convinced so you sighed once more, chewing on your bottom lip with nerves. Shaking your head, you rolled your shoulders to try and look as unbothered as possible, “I need to get this over and done with. If either of them leaves, could you follow them please and make sure they don’t do anything stupid”.
“We can try our best, boss lady”, Sam responded for the two of them, walking towards the office door and holding it open for you.
Taking a deep breath, you walked into Steve’s office, seeing both of them sitting at the large oak desk that was positioned in the centre of the room, laptops in front of them, face set with concentration. As your mouth opened to announce your arrival and quickly explain what had happened before they could freak, Steve’s eyes had already glanced away from his screen.
“What the fuck!” he growled, standing with such force his seat toppled over as he stormed towards you. “Who did this to you? What happened?” Steve was in front of you within half a second, his hands cupping your face, eyes full of a whirlwind of seething anger, worry and concern.
“Please don’t freak out, it’s absolutely fine, it was just an accident”, you managed to say as your face was turned in different directions by Steve as if the size of the cut would change but it remained the same. As Steve finished his inspection, Bucky was right there over his shoulder, eyes full of fury as he too checked the cut but then continued further past just your face. 
“Accident or not, I’m fucking killing someone”, Bucky barked, lifting your arms and searching for any more injuries and it was only as he lifted the front of your shirt did you push his hands away and take a step back.
“Both of you just wait, please. Absolutely no killing is happening because it was done by a two-year-old” you emphasised, not sure if they were even listening as they crowded around you. Placing a hand on either of their chests, you tried not to concentrate on the pounding of both of their hearts beneath your palms as you explained. “I was sitting with Nate, he was playing with his toy train that he loves by the way. I happened to get too close and didn’t see him swinging the toy and it caught me across the face and let me tell you, that boy is strong!”
You grinned to show the humour, looking between Steve and Bucky, waiting for any sort of reaction from them. Both sets of ocean-blue eyes were flicking from your mouth to your injury and just as you were able to explain again to them, it was Steve who moved first by cupping your jaw with his hand, this time it felt more comforting rather than him assessing you.
“Right let me just make sure I’m understanding this, Nate hit you in the face with the toy that you bought him and caused this much damage?”, he tilted your chin as he finished his sentence to show off your injury more.
“Yes that is exactly what happened. You can check with Sam if you want. Nate is a lot stronger than you’d expect someone so small to be”.
Steve nodded whilst taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down but his heart was still pounding under your hand. Leaning down, he kissed your forehead, showing his understanding of the situation. “How does it feel? Does it hurt?” he questioned, his blonde eyebrows furrowing in concentration.
“It feels tender and bruised but only when I touch it and I can see the swelling out of the corner of my eye but otherwise it’s fine. I’ve had worse that’s for sure”, you tried to once again defuse the tension with a little joke but all it caused was Bucky’s jaw to tighten.
Steve noticed too and suggested, “Why don’t you go and wait by the car baby, we just need to wrap up everything here and we can start heading to the hotel
It was a simple idea but put you on edge with worry as Bucky had yet to say anything or snap out of the protective trance. Instead of arguing with Steve, you nodded, knowing that Steve could handle Bucky when he was like this and it was best to leave the two of them to it.
Stepping out of the office, you released a long heavy breath, now facing Natasha and Sam who were waiting in a stance like they were ready to tackle someone but relaxed seeing that it was you. Glancing over your shoulder, they were surprised when no one else followed after you. “Everything ok, Sugar?” Natasha questioned uncertainly.
“I’m not entirely sure. I think Steve’s ok but Bucky… he didn’t say a word to me. I think they’re having a talk so I’ve been sent to the car like a naughty child”. Sam chuckled, finally stepping forward and holding his elbow out for you to take.
“Well let then me escort you to the car m’lady”, he mocked and managed to pull a smile to your lips as you accepted.
It took nearly 45 minutes for them to finish whatever talk that needed to happen, and you’d hoped that Bucky would rush to the car but it was quite the opposite. He inclined for Sam to get out of the car and they spoke out of sight.
Sam wouldn’t be coming with you to the hotel, it was just supposed to be you and the boys so you waved to him in farewell as he climbed out of the car. Steve then slide in next to you, closing the gap in the middle so his body brushed against yours as you blinked up at him with a worried expression. Once again, his hand slide along your jaw as he kissed your temple. “You know I hate seeing you hurt”, he admitted against your skin before pulling back and looking at you with an apologetic gaze.
“I understand that, but that doesn’t mean you have to shut me out”, you countered, lifting your hand to stroke along his stubbled cheek.
“It doesn’t”, he contemplates. “But, I also don’t want you to see me in this state, the things going through my mind when I saw your face, I was just about ready to kill everyone in this building to find out what happened. No one hurts what’s mine”.
Your heart was thumping hard in your chest at his passionate declaration. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to push me away. I know you don’t want to see me hurt but accidents happen and if there was something wrong, you know I would call you immediately”.
Steve’s eyes softened, “Yes I know that now but, it doesn’t stop the panic that I feel when I see you’re hurt”.
Shifting even closer so that you could kiss his cheek, you continued, “I’m sorry for scaring you, it’s hard to tell you when these things happen, I don’t know whether I should call to prewarn or wait to see you in person”.
Steve’s lips lowered to yours, giving you a quick kiss to your lips, “We’ll figure it out”.
“What about Bucky?” you asked nervously.
“Buck might need a little more time, he’s still struggling to process his emotions”.
This did little to ease your anxiety, especially as the said man got into the driver's seat and didn’t say a single word to you, only glancing at you from the rearview mirror for a moment before beginning the drive to the hotel.
Steve easily managed to fill the silence with natural conversations which did little to distract you from the nerves of Bucky not talking. Even when the three of you arrived at the hotel and were shown to the penthouse where you’d be staying, Bucky didn’t say a word. After a quick tour of the breathtakingly beautiful surroundings which included a kitchen, living room area and pool that overlooked the city, you decided to go and freshen up.
After returning in a flowing dress that felt more comfortable than the jeans and shirt, you looked for the boys but only found Steve who was leaning against the kitchen island, staring at a spot in deep thought. “Steve?” this snapped him out of his trance as he instantly looked at you, standing to his full height. “Where’s Bucky?” you continued to look around but didn’t see him and by the look on Steve’s face, you knew you wouldn’t find him. “Where is he?”
“He said he needed a moment so has gone to the bar a few floors below”. Your shoulders dropped hearing this, feeling awful that he was struggling so much. “He’ll be ok sweetheart, he just has his own demons that he’s trying to fight with at the moment, you know the sort of headspace he gets into when you’re hurt”.
“I know but I haven’t seen him like this for a while, I guess I thought that side of him was over”. Sometimes when Bucky was overtly stressed with work, or needed to protect someone, particularly with regards to work, it was almost like his mind would shut down and someone else would take over. It was hard for him to deal with especially as he tended to get his emotions out violently when like this but as he hasn’t had an outlet today, he felt the need to separate himself from everyone. You knew he would never hurt you, even when he was like this so you asked Steve, “What floor is the bar on?”
Steve walked down with you and you both found him sitting on a stool in front of the bar with a very large glass of dark liquor on the bar in front of him. Steve decided to stay back and let you talk to him considering his talk earlier seemed to have done nothing to help him but reassured if you needed anything just nod.
As you walked towards Bucky, you thought about what you were going to say but your mind seemed to be completely empty of thoughts as you were so anxious you felt nauseous. Stepping next to him, he made no move to look in your direction or acknowledge your arrival and continued to stare forward. Every single muscle in his body was tense, eyes blazing with a look that you hadn’t seen in eyes like he was figuring out a way to murder everybody in the room. Your eyes flicked over his face, noting his jaw was so tense it looked like it was going to break. Unsure whether to touch him or not when he was like this, you said the only words that sprung to mind: “I miss you”.
Bucky’s entire body shifted, all of the tension seemingly melting away like a reset button had been pressed, as his eyes softened their glare as he flicked them to finally look at you. Seeing the change in him and drawing his attention, you reached across him to grip his metal hand, lifting it up to your face and reeling in the recognisable coolness of the metal against your uninjured cheek.
Turning to kiss the metal palm, you repeated, “I miss you Bucky”. There was even further relief when the pad of his thumb stroked across your cheekbone. Your boyfriend doesn't say a word, he didn’t need to as he stood from the stool, towering over you as he wrapped both of his arms around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his chest, his face nuzzling into your neck, taking a deep breath against your skin which seemed to also calm him further.
You hugged him back just as fiercely, eyes squeezing tight as you clung to the back of his shirt, probably crinkling the expensive material but neither of you cared. After a couple of minutes, he finally began to pull back enough that your arms could wind around his neck, pulling him down so you could kiss him passionately, ignoring the ache in your injured cheek from the movement.
His hands clenched around your waist at the kiss until you pulled back but that was only so you could kiss his cheek repeatedly whilst whispering, “I’m so sorry I’ve scared you Bucky, everythings ok I promise but I need you to be here with me and Steve”.
Bucky didn’t say anything at first, his only response was a nod as his body continued to try and calm down from its heightened alertness. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity he said with as much passion as possible, “I’m sorry, I love you”.
“I know, it’s ok, I love you too Bucky, now let's go back upstairs and relax for the evening, ok?” he nodded his head in agreement, his hand clasped around yours as you pulled him towards Steve who smiled at the two of you.
In the elevator up to your floor, Steve turned to Bucky and placed a tender hand on the back of his head, pulling him roughly into his side, “It’ll be alright Buck”, he spoke tenderly into his ear before kissing him on the side of his head. The sight had your chest warming at the intimate show of support from the mafia leader but your thoughts didn’t dwell as the elevator dinged to indicate arrival to the penthouse.
The three of you opened a bottle of champagne and watched the sunset over the city before you decided that it was time for the pool and needed a moment to get ready. As you stood in the bathroom, you decided to continue with the plan that you’d had since you knew you were coming here. Of course, when travelling anywhere, especially somewhere this beautiful, you would want to be intimate with them both and you were hoping to take them both at the same time. So, you had decided to prep yourself a little bit with the use of your favourite butt plug and then when the three of you were ready, they could simply take it out and save the time of prepping.
It took a few minutes to work inside of you but you were happy to see the jewel gleaming from within your arse cheeks and then continued to dress into your swimsuit. You looked somewhat ridiculous with the stunning swimsuit and swollen cut to the face but it would have to do as you finally exited the bathroom.
Bucky turned to you first, hearing your footsteps as you approached the edge of the water but it was his raised eyebrow and deadpan expression that had you faltering. “What?” you asked, looking down at yourself and wondering what was out of place.
“Doll, seriously? We have our own private pool and you still think to change into a swimsuit?” Your cheeks warmed at the realisation that both Steve and Bucky were completely nude in the water and with a small smile, began to remove your own swimsuit which captivated Steve and Bucky’s attention, especially as you revealed your breasts.
As the material gathered at your waist, you turned on the spot so they were looking at your back, you bent forward to fully remove the outfit but it also gave them the perfect view of your arse with the butt plug on display.
“Fuck”, Steve cursed under his breath as he moved towards the stairs just as you began to walk over, holding out his hand for you to take and carefully descend into the water, being careful not to splash your face too much in the process. The water was the perfect warm temperature and it felt so relaxing to be almost weightless as Steve pulled you easily through the water you couldn’t reach the floor like he could, until you were near the edge, looking out over the city with Bucky on the other side of you.
The three of you huddled close together, your arms holding onto the edge of the pool, enjoying the ambience and serene moment of blissful quiet. However, Bucky couldn’t keep himself restrained for long as his hours of not seeing or touching you were beginning to get to him. Sliding behind you, his arms crowding you closer to the pool edge, his lips kissed delicately below your ear, moving south down your neck and to your shoulder. You tilted your head to the side to give him more room, releasing a soft breath at the tingling sensations his lips were causing, especially as his stubble brushed against your skin.
“You’re so beautiful”, Steve admired from beside you, his words making your cheeks flush with warmth at the compliment.
“Even with a black eye”, Bucky joked from where he was kissing the top of your back. You let out a shocked laugh, attempting to elbow him in the ribs but he easily held your arm away as he chuckled. The noise and joke were welcomed from him though to know he had calmed down enough from the initial shock of seeing you injured. “Could I make one request for tonight?” Bucky enquired, returning to kiss the pulse point on your neck.
“Yes?” you asked, already sounding a little breathless as you lazily moved your legs through the water, still holding your weight up by holding onto the edge.
“Don’t hold your noises in tonight, even though we are outside, I want this whole damn city to hear you”, Bucky grunted as he thrust his hips against your lower back, making you feel his considerably hard cock. Once again, your body warmed thoroughly at the thought of those a few floors below potentially hearing through their open windows but that also turned you on, knowing people could hear how much your boyfriends were making you feel good.
Nodding your head in answer, Bucky’s hands began to graze over your stomach under the water, stroking near your hip where you had a particularly sensitive spot that had you shivering and leaning further into him.
Steve’s hand cradled your chin, turning your face towards him where he began to kiss you desperately, his tongue immediately teasing the seam of your mouth to gain access that you granted instantly. You moaned as his warm muscle twisted with yours, loving the dominance of the kiss as he easily stood over you in the pool with his tall stature. 
Bucky’s metal fingers then began to do their own exploration as they travelled between your legs, first stroking over your pussy lips, giving you a little warning for his next movement before he pressed more firmly until he was rubbing your clit. He moved in slow circles, and your hips jerked at the action, more moans rumbling from the back of your throat and into Steve’s mouth.
The blonde man pulled back first, breathing heavily as he instructed, “What I want you to do is take Bucky and after you cum, we’re going to fuck you at the same time, understand?”
“Yes, sir”, you automatically responded, your arousal aching in your core.
“Good girl”, Bucky praised as he shifted his position but continued to play with your clit as he moved. His lower half moved further beneath you so your body was moved a little out of the water, revealing your breasts to the cool air as you balanced on his body. The tip of his cock nudged against his fingers at the apex of your thighs, and with a flick of his hips, it moved to your hole. Even though you were in the water, he still took his time, being careful to not move too quickly as he stretched your cunt. Each inch that moved in had you gasping and moaning, grabbing tightly onto Steve’s arm that shot out to support your body from toppling forward. “That’s it, you’re taking me so well, Doll”, Bucky continued to encourage you as soon his hips were flush against yours which meant that he subtly pressed against the plug in your arse which only added to the heightened pleasure.
“Feels so good Bucky”, you say, closing your eyes for a moment to try and savour the feelings but then they snapped open as Steve began to squeeze your nipples. Your back arched into the touch, loving the twists and pulls he was doing to them that sent shivers straight to your centre which only meant that you kept clenching around Bucky.
After what felt like an eternity, Bucky finally began to move, slowing his fingers at your clit to match the pace of his thrusting. Each snap of his hips would cause the plug to be pushed and even his cock within your pussy was brushing against it, you already felt so full and you only had one cock in you. The motions increased as Bucky nuzzled into the back of your neck, the water surrounding the three of you splashing over the edge.
As you got used to the position and pleasure that was being pounded throughout your body, you felt aware enough to reach into the water and grip Steve’s throbbing shaft. It floated in the water and you could feel it bob at your touch as well as Steve’s very audible gasp. He always did love it when you pleasured him so even though Bucky’s cock and fingers were very distracting, you attempted to try and also make Steve feel as good as you felt.
“Fuck, I love the feeling of your hands on me baby”, Steve grunted, thrusting into your palm as you squeezed harder, moving up and down the shaft in time with Bucky’s cock. Steve’s eyes closed, head tipping back as he fell into the pleasure, but his hands never stopped with both supporting your upper half and squeezing your breasts whilst tweaking the nipples.
Bucky moved faster now, feeling your pussy clenching harder around him, his fingers swiping back and forth in firm motions. You didn’t even need to tell him that you were going to cum, from the feeling around his cock and the sweet moans escaping your mouth, he knew you were close. He fucked you harder which meant your hand moved faster up Steve’s shaft.
“Oh-God, yes!”, you chanted, eyes closed as you squeezed Steve’s cock hard as the pleasure took over you, Bucky not stopping his thrusts as you came, extending the length of your orgasm as he continued. All until Steve quickly cursed and grabbed your wrists, pulling your hands away from him did your pussy stop fluttering as you looked at him in worry. “Did I hurt you?” you asked, realising that you were probably squeezing too hard.
Steve chuckled, a light pink shade tinging his cheeks as he shook his head, “No baby, you were going to make me cum if you carried on like that”.
“Oh”, was all you managed to say as you felt proud of yourself for making him nearly cum so quickly.
Bucky laughed under his breath at your reaction, kissing the back of your head before easing his cock out and wrapping his arm around your waist so he could move you further away from the wall, giving Steve room to move in front of you. Both of your hands moved to his muscular shoulders, holding on as Steve pulled both of your legs around his waist, the waterline now at your navel.
Bucky's warm hand massaged one of your arse cheeks as he instructed, “Relax for me,  Sweetheart”. You made sure to ease all of your muscles down as he gripped onto the butt plug and began to slowly pull it out. You gasped loudly at the feeling of your hole stretching around the toy before relief as it moved past the thickest part.
Bucky dropped the plug, declaring that he’d retrieve it from the bottom of the pool later and began lining up his cock at your asshole. You mewled into Steve’s shoulder as you felt the thick tip breaching your hole, the stretch was just as intense as the other hole but he moved slower this time, making sure not to hurt you.
“You’re so tight, shit”, Bucky groaned as you took his length, his hands flexing against your hips as you tried to adjust to him. After a long moment, you nodded your head against Steve and felt him moving his hips, the tip of his cock now penetrating your cunt, slowly but from the fucking by Bucky, it didn’t take you as long to adjust.
As they both were fully inserted into your holes, you let out a desperate moan, feeling so full it was nearly overwhelming. Your thighs were shaking in Steve’s grip around his waist and you wanted to speak to tell them how good it felt but your tongue felt heavy in your mouth so you told them through moans and mewling noises.
Steve moved first, pulling out a few inches before moving back in. Then Bucky copied his action. Both of your boyfriends fucked you, their thick cocks stroking against every single nerve and with the way your legs were wide and spread to be wrapped around Steve, your clit was brushing against his abdomen.
Your head dropped back against Bucky’s shoulder and you had to refrain from hissing as you accidentally brushed the injury of your face against his stubble. However, with the overwhelming pleasure that was being fucked into you, you didn’t vocalise the momentary discomfort and simply turned your face away so it didn’t happen again.
With how much you were being stimulated, it didn’t take you long to orgasm again, your body tightening like a coil around both of their cocks as waves of pleasure pulsed through you.
Bucky let out a deep groan and that was your only warning as he came suddenly, the feeling of your tight ass around his cock was too much for him and he was already so pent up from the day that he couldn’t hold it back anymore. His balls emptied everything within them into your ass, his teeth biting into the junction between your neck and shoulder as he grunted your name over and over until there was no more cum within his body.
You shivered as he pulled out, wishing you had a camera under the water to see the cum seeping out and clouding the water slightly. Bucky’s hands moved to under your thighs, taking them out of Steve’s grip as he took your weight instead so that Steve could fuck you without any restraint.
With your eyes half-lidded, you watched as Steve leaned forward, one hand on your waist and the other on Bucky’s shoulder, using the two of you to help ground him as he continued to fuck your pussy. With the more sturdy position, he was able to fuck you as hard as he could with the water adding some restraint so that he didn’t hurt you.
Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving little crescent-shaped dents in the skin but he enjoyed the sparks of pain that came with it. “I want you to orgasm one more time for me baby, I know you can do it”.
You shouted out in pleasure at his words, hearing the desperation in his tone so you knew he was holding back from cumming because he wanted you to do it one more time. Steve fucked you, hard and fast, water splashing everywhere as Bucky continued to hold onto you tightly.
It didn’t take you long to cum again, especially as Steve dipped his head and began to suck on each of your sensitive nipples. By the time your pussy stopped pulsing around him and you were becoming entirely too overstimulated, Steve finally shouted and stilled his thrusting, his cock throbbing with each spurt of his cum as he filled you up.
The three of you took a couple of minutes to catch your breath and stretch your muscles from being in the squished position. “At least we’re in the water, don’t have as much of a clean up”, you joked as the cum mixed with the pool water. Bucky laughed before ducking into the water and returning with your butt plug.
“For you, hot mama”, he handed over the toy and kissed your cheek before helping you over to the stairs but swiftly picked you up with a steady hand at your back and under your knees. “Please tell me you two are hungry, once we’ve finished drying up, I’m ordering some room service”.
You groaned in a different sort of need from only a few minutes ago, your arms wrapping around his neck, “yes please, I’m starving after all of this activity!”
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burntchez · 5 months
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(Possessive! Wriothesley x Male! Reader Smut)
Note: This is basically the 2nd part for my Possessive! Wriothesley x Reader fic I posted on Youtube but this time the 2nd part is for male readers! My apologies I couldn't make a female reader version or at least Gender Neutral. I'm (kind of) experienced in writing Male Reader content bc I'm a male myself.
(This contains: Smut (duh), Breeding, spanking, cuffs)
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"Are we really doing it here..?" Asked the smaller male. The Duke's lips curled into a mischiveous smirk, his hands travelling the body of the man below him. Arms beneath the uniform, lips close to the delectable neck. "Why not here? This is my office, and I see no problem of doing such... Thing here. Besides, I know you've been wanting this." Wriothesley whispered to the boy beneath him, enjoying the sight of him being vulnerable. You couldn't respond due to the intimate sensation crawling up his sensitive skin, his mouth only letting out whines and whimpers. By now, he was impatient. He wanted to show you how bad he misses you. He wanted to mark you as his.
Screams and moans filled the room as the two of you carried onto your session. Sounds of skin slapping synchronized with the moans you let out. "If you don't want your voice to be heard from outside, then I suggest you bear with this and stay quiet while I..." He pauses and thrusts. "Enjoy this." Wriothesley whispered to him with a husky voice. "Besides, I know you also enjoy this. I know you've wanted this." He commented between pants. "Y-you wanted this! It was not my idea to be fucked!" You scolded. The Warden can only let out a low chuckle as he heard your words, "Oh yeah.". Suddenly, a hand came striking down to your ass, making a loud slap on contact and leaving red print of his hand. A loud moan escaped your lips, followed by whimpers. Wriothesley can only sadistically watch you be lost in painful pleasure with a cruel smile as he continued thrusting into you. His whole length buried to the hilt as he unsheathed and thrusted himself in. "You look so good when you're beneath me. Wrists cuffed, lying on my desk, legs spread, perfect for me. Not to mention your hole taking me in!" He growled, eyes gazing to the sweating skin of your body. Admiring how powerless you are beneath him. "Fuck, I want to see you completely ravaged, now." Wriothesley let his desires take over and increase his pace, his thrusts violating your ass like hammer striking an anvil. His hand gripped tightly on your wrists while the other played with your sensitive nipples, flicking and toying on the nubs. His eyes observed you, how your eyes rolled back and try to lower your cute sounds, how your ass takes him in easily, and your little cock that was left twitching and sobbing precum. It all fuel his desire for you, to own you, to make you his own man. "I don't care if the others knows about this. I need to mark this body of yours with my cum!" Wriothesley growled with a husky voice before attacking your neck, drawing another cute cry from your lips. You felt his teeth biting onto your neck and shoulder while also giving it kisses. Wriothesley's thrusts accelerated, plunging deeper into your wet hole, trying to milk his cock into filling you up with his warm cum.
"O-oh fuck! T-too fast!~ I-i'm gonna-" "Cum?" Wriothesley finished your sentence as he withdrew from your marked neck. He towered over your messy figure, proud of what he made of you. "Hold it in for a few more seconds boy, I'm close too." After his command, he increased the pace of his thrusts. His cock plunging into you at a restless place, eliciting a long messy moan from you. The way your head drew back and how your body responds to his thrusts, it all fueled him, he needed to make you his. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum. Take it all boy! I'll make you never forget who owns you and this ass!" With one fatal thrust, his cock thrusted into your insides and unleashed a massive load of cum that he saved up for your return. His climax hit him like a tidal wave, just like yours. Your cock spurted out white ropes of cum and came all over Wriothesley's abs and on your stomach.
As you two took gasps and breath after a rough sex, Wriothesley gave you a kiss on the lips, affectionate and desiring. After a few seconds of intimate kissing, you decided to break it and take another breather. Wriothesley watched your exhausted state with a satisfied smirk and embraced you with his cock still inside you, ensuring that no cum seeps out and preserving his mark inside you.
"How is that for a 'welcome back'?"
"I've been gone for 2 weeks!"
"I know, but I still miss you~"
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wishlistcharles · 4 months
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racing hearts → op81
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oscar piastri x plus size!fem reader
genre: drivers room smut, established relationship
cw: 18+ MDNI, smut, oral (male receiving), praise kink, dirty talk, pls let me know if i am forgetting anything
word count: 2.7k
song: cupid's chokehold- gym class heroes
sidenote: hi everyone! finally the new fic is here and it's an oscar one! please let me know if y'all have any ideas or requests for a fic because i don't have a plan for the next one haha. also not beta read. hope you all enjoy <3
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Silvertone made you nervous, don't get me wrong, all of Oscars races made you incredibly nervous but it wasn't often you were in the paddock watching in person. He was doing good, no matter how he did you were always proud of him, but it was nice to hear him over the radio sounding happy. Your nerves got the best of you, and you found yourself shaking your leg and biting your nails, before it got worse you decided a little walk around the paddock would be calming. 
You and Oscar had been dating a little over two years, and those two years had been amazing. You remember his year as a reserve driver and all the hesitation that he felt. You remember when he first got word about getting a spot in f1 and the tears of joy that fell down your face when he told you. You remember every big and little moment that has impacted your relationship. 
Before dating, you guys were friends, you were getting your masters degree in London and happened to be friends with one of his friends. Everything kinda felt like fate, when you first met him you had been so shy, of course you had heard about the hot shot f2 driver, and of course you had been nervous. A part of this nervousness and shyness you felt was because you were worried how he would react to you being a bigger girl. 
To your surprise Oscar was amazing to you. And over the next couple of moments as he was pursuing you, he did not shy away from being affectionate.
You would like to say the rest was history but it wasn't, that your relationship had its ups and downs. Oscar wanted to go public with your relationship, it was you who had told him we should hold off. You knew how people would react and this was his first year in f1, you didn't want to add to that stress. People would bombard him on his social media posts, interviews would ask questions, you couldn't do that to him. After all he's worked for. Truth be told you would like to show your affection to Oscar in public, to be able to hold and kiss him after a good quali or a podium, but you knew how mean the internet could be and you couldn't do that to him or yourself.
The sound of the cars pull you out of your trace and you figure it was time to head back to the garage and watch. You felt a pit in your stomach, he was doing good, and only a few laps left but anything could happen. With the final lap you see he finished 4th, you were extremely happy for him. But in the back of your mind, you knew Oscar would be mad. Mad that he was so close to a podium. Despite that you couldn’t wait to hug and congratulate him. 
The garage was crowded, roars and screams echoed in your ears. The team was proud of their 2nd and 4th finish. And while no one knew why you were there or your intentions, you couldn’t help but feel extremely proud of both boys. 
You knew it would take Oscar a while to finish his debriefing, post race interviews, and just overall navigating the garage. You took it upon yourself to sneak into his drivers room and wait until he’s done. Walking in see a small picture of you and him nestled away near his backpack.
A sudden jolt of possessiveness, and just overall happiness rings through you. At the end of the day you couldn’t believe Oscar and you were together. He was the most amazing, caring and loving person you could’ve ever imagined to have. You knew you had to do something when he came into the room to cheer him up because, even though fourth place was an incredible finish, Oscar always thrived for more. 
You make yourself comfortable, slipping off your shoes and putting your hair in a ponytail. You looked through the tiny closet that was in the drivers room, where he said he would leave a larger hoodie for you to wear after the race if it was cold. It was the little things like this that made you love him even more. While you weren’t the type of girl who could wear his hoodies or shirts because they were too small on you. He made the extra effort to give you what you wanted. 
While waiting, you came up with the most amazing idea, you and Oscar had a pretty active sex life. You were both young, what could you say? it was always pretty difficult during practice days and qualities to find time alone with each other but today you decided you were going to plan something special. 
You found yourself getting excited at the idea, crossing your legs you try to create some friction to hold yourself off until Oscar gets into the room, but luck was not on your side today, and it took two more hours until Oscar finally entered the room, looking exhausted, flushed and sweaty. 
His hair was damp and sticking to his forehead. Just how you liked it when his hair was down. His pretty eyes sparkled at you, but through his smile, you could tell he was disappointed and sad.
“Hi baby, how was debrief?” you questioned
“Same old, same old just took longer to get out because they wanted to strategize on how we can get a one-two next race. Are you ready to go? I’m exhausted, starving and I need to shower desperately.”
Before you can nod, you remember the plan you had made a couple hours earlier. He might be too tired to do anything, but all you can do is try.
“Why don’t you sit down for a minute Osc, we can get you changed out of your fireproofs, and wait a little while traffic is still dying down. Here let me order us some food to be delivered back to the hotel for later on” 
You quickly get on your phone and order his favorite post race meal, a chicken burger with sweet potato fries. You opt out and get yourself something different. After placing your order, you start to grab his change of clothes that he brought with him. When you are face to face in front of him, you see Oscar looking up at you with the most fondest eyes, and quiet smile. 
Oscar wasn’t the most romantic person in the world, but just by existing he made up for it. Nonetheless he never strayed away from complimenting you.
“Have I told you, you are the best girlfriend in the world, you take such good care of me”
“You’ve said it once or twice but I wouldn’t mind hearing it more” you wink as you slowly start to take off his undershirt. You take the liberty to also take off his pants, so you kneel down in front of him and start to pull off his boots one by one. This felt extremely intimate and it left you with a flushed feeling.  
You gesture him to lift his hips so you could pull off the remaining part of his fireproofs that were pooled loosely around his waist. Once he does this you shimmy them down his legs, leaving him in just his boxers. 
“You did so good today baby” you said while rubbing your hands up and down the tops of his thighs.
“You raced so well. You don’t know how proud I am of you. My rookie, my baby, you are so perfect Osc, my one and only”
You see a tint of red cover his cheeks and nose. This was something you guys have been experimenting more with, you being dominant. You weren’t gonna do that today. Tonight you just wanted to let him know how good he was. You slowly see a tent pop up in his boxers
“Oh my, my, Oscar what’s this, do you like hearing how good you are? Well you are, you are so good” 
Instead of replying, Oscar tries to hide his face with his forearm. That just won’t do.
“Oh no no no, don’t hide yourself from me, isn’t that what you always tell me”
He slowly removes his forearm to look down at you. 
“Baby can I please suck you off, want to show you how proud I am”
He nods his head yes and lets out a tiny please. 
That’s all you needed to hear before you slide his boxers off. His pretty pink cock springs free, red at the tip, angry looking and dripping. Oscar had the prettiest cock you had ever seen, to be fair you had only seen a couple in your life but his was so pretty. Average in length, maybe a bit below, but thick, pale with a pink tinge to it. Oscar left things pretty natural in the hair department but that never bothered you. Everything about him just made sense. 
Your mouth instantly drools at the sight of it, laying across his tummy. You spit in your right hand and grasp it at the base, and slowly drag your hand up his shaft. You look up to see Oscar’s eyes slowly flutter close. A tiny breath leaves his mouth. You decided now was the time to praise him some more.
“You have such a pretty cock Oscar, fucks me so well, fills me up in the best way possible. No one has ever made me come the way you do, you take such good care of me, let me do the same for you”
With that you bring your head down to softly lick the head, swirling your tongue around the tip, you dip your head down and lick a long stripe from the base of his cock all the way to the tip and fully take the head into your mouth. 
Oscar’s hands were gripping the couch as hard as he could, trying to keep the moans at a minimum, the driver room walls were very thin. Oscar was usually on the quieter side, but you don’t know what possessed you to say this.
“Don’t hold back, be loud love, I want everyone to know how good I’m making you feel, want everyone to know I’m in here worshiping your cock”
“Fuck y/n you have such a dirty mouth” he whined. 
You giggled and brought your cheek down to nestle his cock. Grabbing it firmly you slap it against your face leaving a slight sting. You couldn’t help but look up at him as you did this, he was staring down at you, mouth agape. 
“I left your cheek all red” he muttered, you could sense he felt a little bad because of it. You couldn’t have that.
“Good, want us to walk out here knowing just what we did” and even though you know when you walked out people would think you were a McLaren worker because of your outfit, you couldn’t help but feel excited walking out into the world knowing you had just done what you did with thee Oscar Piastri. 
Oscar is fully back in your mouth again, hash breaths and tiny moans are coming from the man above you. Bobbing your head up and down you try your best to fully take his entire length. It was hand because he was stretching your mouth so wide with his thickness. You focus your tongue at the head, swirling and moving your tongue back and forth at the spot the connects the tip to the base. That brings out the biggest moan from him. You immediately look up to see his eyes are shut close and his lip looks like it’s about to start bleeding from how hard he’s biting it.
Continuing to focus on the head, you bring your hand down to his balls and cup them. You softly rub and massage them. You knew once you did this Oscar would finish soon.
“Want you to fuck my mouth, want to feel it for days after you leave London, want to remember how good you fuck my throat” you say to him with eyes that were begging.
“Are you sure baby? Don’t want to hurt you”
“If you hurt me I’ll slap your thigh, but trust me I want this”
He nods and grabs the back of your head to place you back on his cock. He starts slow, hand loosely grabbing the back of your head, guiding you softly. You try to relax your throat, because soon he starts to pick up his pace. Instead of the soft hold, he is harshly grabbing your hair, using it to move you up and down. You do your best to still use your tongue despite Oscar moving you at a very fast pace. 
“Fuck I’m gonna come soon” he whispers
You knew he was close to the edge by the way the thick vein on the underside of his cock was throbbing. You look up at him the best as you could and nod, hoping he got the message to finish in your mouth. In all honesty, you wanted him to come all over your face but you still had to walk through the paddock to his car. 
His hips start to stutter and he stops moving your head, arms fallen to his side. He lets out a loud groan and you feel the warm white liquid flood your mouth. You swallow and open your mouth to show him. He also groans at this, cupping your face he bring you up to connect you both in a kiss. It was a sweet kiss, no tongue, nothing crazy, just sweet.
You smile at him and stand up, you know you are drenched but you didnt want to do anything else in this room. Oscar may be able to be quite, but there so guarantee with you.
“Want me to eat you out” Oscar asked with his face in your neck as you sat next to him. 
“No, you can fuck me later if you are up for it, but we should be going soon, the food is probably going to be delivered before we get there”
He nods “Where did you learn to talk like that” Oscar asks as he puts on his new pair of boxers.
“I don’t know what you mean, I was just speaking the truth” you wink.
He gives you a uhhuh look and continues to get dressed. You look at yourself in the mirror and you don’t completely look disheveled. The slight redness on your cheek was still there but you wanted that. You dug in Oscar’s bag for a piece of gum and popped it in your mouth. You both get ready in silence. As you are about to leave you stop him.
“You do know I am genuinely proud of you, and I can’t wait to see how much you grow and succeed, I love you.” You say and kiss his cheek. 
“I love you too, you are the most amazing and beautiful girlfriend ever, I can’t wait for people know you are mine”
Something overcame you. You grab his hand and nod, if someone finds out and spreads it, you could care less. You were tired of hiding this. You see the smile and lead the way out of the drivers room.
Hand in hand you both walked down the paddock, you were proud of your boyfriend. No more being scared. He deserves this and more. His hand was warm and you knew everything was right. You had no doubt in your mind that next season you would both be back here but celebrating a podium instead. 
♡♡♡♡
606 notes · View notes
kinokoshoujoart · 15 days
Text
Marrying Carter in Harvest Moon DS Cute! (North American version)
oh… sorry no not the archaeologist, i mean Pastor Carter from Mineral Town!
(or is it Pastor Curdy….?)
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teeechnically his descendant, and it causes a game over… but this is the only time we’ve been able to marry him right?
so in the girl version of HMDS, there’s two “secret” Mineral Town bachelors that you can marry by talking to them enough times on the phone. one is Mason, the guy who runs May’s Tailoring… but the second, Pastor Carter, is a bit more obscure…
i couldn’t find them uploaded anywhere so here are his 2nd* thru 10th conversations+his proposal+proposal rejection in english! if you want to see it on youtube instead here you go
*i failed to record the first conversation when it happened, and there’s no way in hell i’m resetting my whole game again (…yet), so…just know the first one was like “oh you want to talk? what should we talk about…….. …… ….. …. i can’t think of anything. well see ya………” extremely riveting stuff
he’s so obscure that i didn’t even realize that he was a bachelor until i found out about the mechanic from this japanese wiki!! (here’s an archive link to the page on him in case the page doesn’t work) all i did was test whether it worked in english since i couldn’t find any english info at all mentioning it. i’m sure others have found him… right……..
in case the links above don’t work, a small guide to holy matrimony below the cut since i can’t find one in english
it works essentially the same as the Mason marriage (so it’s just a game over, sadly…), and the steps are pretty tedious and counterintuitive, so you’re unlikely to just stumble across it… but you too can get a priest to break his vow of celibacy for you or whatever!
you will need:
at least 2,050,000 G
20 cursed tools/accessories
if you really don’t want to dig up 20 cursed things you can substitute 100x “remove a cursed tool/accessory” for blessing a cursed tool…
but, including all the cursed tools and accessories, there’s only 16… which means you will need to go dig up 4 duplicate cursed accessories using this method! yay!!! extremely pointless since you can’t sell blessed accessories until after marriage in DS for girl (at which point you can’t trigger pastor carter’s proposal)
you unlock a conversation with cardi when you spend at least 205,000 G. which means the quickest thing to do is to order removal of a cursed item five times, then bless 2 cursed items.
**be careful when blessing accessories to only equip one at a time!!! if you equip a stack of duplicate accessories, blessing that stack destroys the duplicates!!!! :( so just take 1 out of the stack and equip it!!!**
you also can’t unlock more conversations until you’ve seen the one you unlocked, so like even if you spend a million G you’ll just unlock one conversation, and you’ll need to finish that conversation and then spend 205,000 G to unlock the next one…yeah….
on the tenth conversation he abruptly reveals that he’s fallen in love with you and asks you to marry him! it ends your game, but….! on the bright side, it ends your game!!! you’re finally free from Hell Simulator!!!!
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badasbebi · 3 months
Text
the cupid project ➛ 1/2
part two
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✦ pairing: bada lee x fem!reader
✦ summary: you and your long-term work crush devise a plan to win a company contest. in the end, you wind up going to extreme lengths to commit to the bit
✦ genre/au: fluff, fake dating, videographer reader, bada's extra sweet here, slight friends to lovers
✦ word count: 7k
✦ warnings: isn't proofread. another unrealistic meet cute that doesn't really make sense. smut in part 2
✦ a/n: another two-parter simply bc my fics are too long. 2nd part is finished and will, again, be posted soon (literally tomorrow). didnt put as much thought into this one as I have with my other stories, which will probably be a pattern from now. still think its fun. enjoy!
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"It's been three minutes. Why are we still waiting on people?" Youngj fusses, running his fingers through his hair, tousling it
"Relax, Jae. You called us here last-minute. People are busy," Minho says from where he is sitting, scrolling through his phone.
Youngj's eyes snap to him. "Too busy for an emergency meeting with their boss?" He retorts, raising an eyebrow. 
Minho looks at him, then shrugs. "Well, that's what happens when you hire a bunch of ultra-talented, sought-after dancers. We don't need you," He finishes, swiftly turning back around, sunglasses concealing his eyes. 
Youngj gapes for a second, then seemingly surrenders, slouching back in his chair with a scowl. 
Meanwhile, you're balancing a camera lens in your hand on the sofa across from them, twisting and turning the machinery in your hand as you stifle your laughter. Still being somewhat new to the team, you weren't sure if you necessarily had the right to take part in Minho's teasing. You became an employee at JustJerk Dance Academy only six months ago, after JustJerk announced that they were looking for new hires. However, you weren't a part of their star-studded lineup of top choreographers and instructors. Instead, you were hired to be a videographer and photographer, working behind the scenes to ensure that every breathtaking move, every impassioned sequence, and every dancer was captured flawlessly. 
Which, it was not like it was very hard. The people here were phenomenal enough as it was, making your time spent at work nothing less than a blessing for someone who's long watched dancers from the sidelines. Even better, the members of JustJerk Dance Academy aren't just a group of talented dancers, but also a lovely group of people. They're kind and caring, often inviting you out to eat after a long day of filming or helping you with the things you struggled with. Sometimes, you still got awestruck around them because it was such a far cry from what you were used to. But, it was beginning to feel like home. And, as the days went by, everyone started to feel more and more like family.
Well, almost everyone.
Suddenly, you hear the doors swing open and glance up to see who's arrived.
"Sorry I'm late," A voice rings throughout the room, revealing none other than the legend herself, Bada Lee. 
Even after having passed by her a million times, the woman never failed to take your breath away. She was gorgeous and had an allure unlike anyone else, with a presence that seemed to shift the energy in every room she entered. In other words, she was also intimidatingly cool, which led to you frequently avoiding her because you were, simply, terrified. Though she's always been nothing but sweet and brilliant during your brief interactions, this kindness almost made things worse. It'd be much easier to disregard her if she was an asshole. Unluckily for you, she was one of the most charming people you've encountered in your life, making it nearly impossible to ignore the magnetic pull that's been causing an increasing amount of debauched thoughts and dreams. 
Bada walks toward the rest of the group with an apologetic smile on her face. Her long, black and blonde hair was tied back in a bun, and her baggy clothes were noticeably wrinkled, suggesting that she came straight from practice. Despite her slightly disheveled appearance, she looked as enticing as ever. 
You avert your gaze and continue playing with the camera equipment in your hands, attempting to appear nonchalant. 
"What happened? You're never late," Youngj asks, sitting upright. 
"I was helping one of my students out with a routine and got a little distracted. Sorry," Bada explains with a pout, sitting down on a separate couch next to yours. You keep your eyes on the camera in your hands.
"Don't worry about it, I just need everyone's attention for a few moments," Youngj says, scanning the room. "Is this everyone?"
"No, Redllic should be coming in soon. She was right behind me," Bada says, looking over at the door.
Your eyebrow inadvertently quirks up at the sound of Redllic's name escaping her lips. 
"Good enough, then. Let's get started," Youngj leans forward in his seat, clapping his hands together. "I want to first apologize to all of you for calling you here so abruptly. Unfortunately, this was the only time I had to get you all here together.”
Everyone eagerly waits for him to speak, the air thick with curiosity as Youngj takes a deep breath, his gaze shifting from one person to another.
"So, to clarify, I didn't call you guys here for anything particularly important."
Minho laughs bitterly. "I fucking knew it."
Youngj gives him a pointed look before continuing. "There's a special event that the company is holding and I wanted to inform all of you about it in-person, because even though it isn’t anything to worry about, it is admittedly a bit...unusual for us."
"What is it?" Redllic asks, appearing out of thin air. Everyone, except for Bada, jumps slightly, surprised by her sudden arrival.
"Redllic!" Youngj says, placing a hand on his heart. "You scared the hell out of me."
"Oh, sorry," Redllic shrugs, plopping down next to Bada, throwing her feet onto the coffee table. "What's going on?"
"Right, um," Youngj clears his throat. "As I was saying, there's an event that we're hosting for Valentine's Day. We're calling it the 'Cupid Project.' Basically, you're all going to get into pairs, and you'll be doing a variety of activities together," Youngj explains, his eyes scanning the group, watching the reactions on everyone's faces. 
Ew, is the immediate word that pops into your head. This reminded you of the group projects your teachers forced you to do in school. You can already see how this project will play out, and it's probably not going to be pretty. Based on the skeptical expressions you can make out, you are at least relieved to see that you aren't the only one feeling hesitant. 
"What kind of activities?" Bada asks softly, tilting her head.
"Just activities to get to know each other. Doing things you wouldn't normally do," Youngj replies, shrugging his shoulders. "Jho and I have some planned activities, but the point is for you and your partner to find things to do voluntarily. If we plan everything out for you guys, then it'll be completely forced."
"Wait, wait, wait," Minho interjects, pushing his sunglasses onto the top of his head. "So, you're telling me I have to go on a date with someone here?"
"No," Youngj shakes his head. "We're not forcing you to fall in love or anything. This is purely platonic, just a fun way to bond with each other. And there'll be a prize," Youngj says, wagging his finger.
"A prize?" Minho echos, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes. You and your partner will compete against the others and the pair who does the most activities and seems to have actually become good friends with each other will win a reward."
"How are you measuring that?" Hoyeon, another videographer, asks. 
"We'll conduct anonymous votes and collect them at the Valentine's Day party we're hosting," Youngj explains. "But, it's not supposed to be all that serious, everyone. We're just trying to do something fun and, you know, team-build since we've gotten a lot of new hires recently. And, we'll get a good video out of it. We're planning on making a highlight reel of the Cupid Project for our Youtube Channel, which will be nice promotional material, too."
So that's what this was really about: content. Truthfully, you wouldn't have an issue with this if it were not very likely that you'd be the one filming or editing this highlight reel. You internally groan, realizing you'll have to deal with an increased workload because of this clusterfuck. 
"I think it's a great idea," Redllic says, a mischievous smirk on her face. You watch her glance at Bada, who is staring at nothing with an unreadable look in her eyes.
"Well, what's the prize?" Minho asks. 
"600,000 KRW"
Others around the room whisper in excitement. You almost drop your camera. Out of shock, yes, but also because that was exactly the amount of money you needed to buy a brand new camera that you've been eyeing for ages. You've been wanting to record more complex videos, wanting to work on actual music video sets, but your current setup is limiting you. If you were able to get your hands on that camera now, you'd be about a year or two ahead of the original timeline you had in mind. You bite the inside of your lip, hoping Youngj doesn't see the desperation in your eyes.
"Holy shit," Hoyeon mutters. 
The two of you make eye contact, and you already know that the two of you are working together. You were close, having joined the company at the same time and being around the same age. This would be an easy win. 
"Alright, so it's settled, then," Youngj says, a confident grin forming on his face.
"Are we choosing our own partners?" Redllic asks, moving a blonde strand of hair away from her face. 
"No. That would lead to a bunch of people asking to be paired with people they're already friends with, which would make the whole thing pointless. We're drawing names out of a hat," Youngj says, gesturing towards the baseball cap resting on the coffee table.
Everyone collectively groans. You try not to cry. 
"Stop, come on, don't make this difficult," Youngj frowns. "The sooner you choose, the more time you have to prepare. Now, who wants to go first? I already have your names written,"
"Wait, let me go first," Hoyeon volunteers, jumping up and grabbing the hat. She reaches her hand inside and picks a small slip of paper out, then reads it aloud. You bite your lip, praying.
"Howl," Hoyeon declares, holding the piece of paper out for everyone to see. 
Your name is not Howl, but you nearly howl right then and there. Realistically, the probability that you would get who you wanted was unlikely considering the number of people in the room. Nonetheless, it hurt. 
The man with the wolf-centric name quietly stands and moves away from the corner he was situated in. He had been quiet the entire meeting, and most did not really notice he was there until Hoyeon mentioned his name.
"Guess it's you and me," Hoyeon laughs, smiling at the tall figure beside her.
Howl gives her a slight smile, shakes her hand, and they sit back down.
"Alright, Bada. Why don't you come over here?" Youngj says, gesturing to the coffee table.
"The one that everyone wants, I'm sure," Redllic comments with a bemused smirk, causing a clamor of chuckles.
Bada scoffs, and heads over to the table. She reaches into the hat, rustling through the papers. You hold your breath, reminding yourself of the unlikelihood that you'd be the name she pulled. However, as the woman's fingers curl around a single sheet of paper, your heart skips a beat. You feel as if you were the one reaching into the hat.
Bada pulls the paper out and unfolds it, her eyes scanning the sheet. Then, her eyes lock with yours, and your heart leaps. 
"Y/N," Bada calls out, holding the paper up.
You freeze, the room spinning around you. There's no way. 
Bada cocks her head to the side. "It's you, right?"
"Oh! Um, yeah," You sputter, quickly gathering the camera equipment around you.
You hear whispers and feel a hundred pairs of eyes on you as you walk over to the girl. You ignore the feeling of your skin burning. 
"Hey, Y/N. It's nice to officially meet you. I've seen you around a lot," Bada says, eyes warm.
"Yeah, nice to officially meet you, too," You say, extending your hand.
Her hand is warm and soft, enveloping yours like a blanket. Your hand feels cold and sweaty. 
"Interesting," Redllic quips, eyes darting between you two, a glint in her gaze. Bada tears her eyes away from you, giving the blonde woman a questioning look as she retracts her hand.
You take the opportunity to step away, returning to your seat and letting the other dancers pull names. The rest of the pairings are revealed without much commotion, except for Minho's, who loudly complains when he has to partner up with Jaeyong, a good choreographer, but awkward man. 
After all the names are drawn, everyone is dismissed. You're quick to leave the room, eager to return to the comfort of your familiar space behind the camera.
"Y/n! Slow down! We need to talk!" Hoyeon calls, catching up to you.
You turn around, side-stepping out of the way of people walking past you in the hallway. You wait for her to stop in front of you before you speak."With all due respect, I don't really want to talk right now. I just want to record. Then go home, and eat some ramen."
"With Bada?" Hoyeon sings, a cheeky grin forming on her face.
"Shut up," You mumble, rolling your eyes and continuing down the hall.
"Wait, why are you so bummed?" Hoyeon starts, following behind you, "Bada's cool?"
You sigh. "Exactly. She's cool. I'm...not."
"What? Yes, you are. Why would you think otherwise?" Hoyeon scoffs, her eyes narrowed.
"I just," You pause in the hallway again, trying to formulate the words. "I'm a little scared of her, is all."
"Scared?" Hoyeon questions, her forehead wrinkling. "She's nice though. You don't have anything to worry about."
"Yeah, but she's so pretty, and talented, and again, I'm not. Not in the way extraordinary way that she is, I mean.” You explain, shoulders slumping. 
A look of realization dawns upon Hoyeon's face, and she laughs menacingly. "Oh, I see what this is. You think she's hot, and you're a scaredy cat who's afraid of rejection. Case closed. I understand."
"That's not how I would phrase things but, essentially, yes," You concede, turning the corner.
"You're being silly. She's not a god. She's literally just a human being...a very sexy human being but a human being nonetheless. Just talk to her like one," Hoyeon suggests, shrugging her shoulders. "I mean, are you not going to try to get that money? I know you want it. I saw that crazed look in your eye once Youngj made it to that fifth zero."
You laugh, "I mean, yes, I really want that money. I don't know if it's possible though. Even if I wanted to reach out to her, she’s so busy I doubt she's planning on actually committing to this. Especially because she's already loaded."
"You don't know until you try you wimp," Hoyeon says, nudging you in the arm.
"Ow," You groan, rubbing the spot in a manner that probably proves her point. "Aren't you going to try for the money too? Where's Howl, huh?"
"We're friends already, it'll be chill. I don't know if we'll necessarily win the money, but, like, we'll have a good time," Hoyeon states, grinning.
"Ugh, gross," You say, sticking out your tongue.
She ignores your immaturity. "What do you wanna do with the money anyway?" Hoyeon asks, leaning against the wall next to an entrance to one of the dance studios.
"Remember that equipment I told you about? So I can start working on sets?"
"Oh, right," Hoyeon says, crossing her arms. "You said that you've been wanting to do that for a while, y/n. Are you really not going to talk to Bada? I’ve recorded with her a few times now and I mean it when I say that she's nice as hell. I feel like she'd probably be down, or, at the very least, will understand if you explain things to her. "
"I'll try. Maybe. At some point. It's not going to be today, though," you mutter, reaching for the studio door before you are stopped by Hoyeon jabbing her french-tipped fingernail into your chest. 
"You better. Or else," Hoyeon threatens, a dark expression coming over her. 
"Move your finger, please," You say, swatting her hand away.
Hoyeon rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Good luck filming. I'm gonna go find Howl. Love ya,"
"Yeah, yeah. Have fun," You wave goodbye to her as she walks down the hall, pulling out her phone.
Once she's out of sight, you release a deep sigh and push open the door, only to be met with the sight of a familiar face. 
"Oh," You breathe.
Bada turns, a surprised expression on her face. "Y/n, hi. Were you coming in?"
"Um, yeah," You reply, slowly entering the room and closing the door behind you. "Are you rehearsing something?"
"Yeah," Bada answers, glancing at the mirror.
"Sorry. I can go-"
"No, no, don't worry about it. If you need to film in here, that's fine. I'll just go next door," Bada says, waving her hand.
You pause, taking a breath. Now’s your chance. "Actually, forget the recording, could I talk to you real quick? About the...cupid thing?"
"Yeah, of course. I was actually hoping we'd get a chance to talk," Bada grins, sitting down on the floor and patting the spot beside her.
You hesitantly walk over and sit down next to her. You take a moment to compose yourself, running your fingers along the smooth fabric of your pants.
"So," Bada prompts.
"Uh," You stammer, wracking your brain for what you were supposed to say. "Um, well, I just wanted to say that, uh, you are really, um, talented. And-oh, this sounds really weird." You finish, running a palm down your face in embarrassment. 
"No, no, it's not," Bada chuckles, a gentle smile on her face. "Thank you, though. But, um, that's not what you wanted to say, right?"
"Right. Sorry," You apologize, a rush of blood filling your cheeks.
"Don't worry. Take your time. We have a lot of it," Bada reminds you, studying the expression on your face. Her voice and words are calming, but her staring is freaking freaking you out further. 
You take another deep breath, hoping to quell your nerves. "Okay. I'm sorry. Uh, I'll try again. What I really wanted to say is, I know that it’s a stupid contest, and that you probably don't care about winning, but I actually really want to participate in that project and win that prize money. And, I was hoping you'd, maybe, help me win?" Before she can respond, you launch into another tangent. "I'm sorry, you're probably busy, which is okay, but I just want to upgrade my equipment so I can get more opportunities outside of-"
"Hey," Bada says, gently laying her hand on top of yours. "Of course I'll help you. You don't have to apologize. I think it'll be fun."
You nearly spiral, but Bada's touch is surprisingly soothing, and you calm down despite your anxiety. 
"Oh, wow. Thank you, so much," You breathe.
"It's not a big deal, seriously. I'm looking forward to it," Bada insists, squeezing your hand.
You stare at her, and her kind, sparkling eyes. What have you gotten yourself into?
You both sit there for a second, a pregnant pause in the air, before you quickly pull your hand away, remembering how sweaty they were.
Bada smiles, unphased. Then, she begins tapping her fingers rhythmically against the ground, a contemplative look on her face as she stares at the space where your hands were previously intertwined. 
"So," Bada suddenly looks up. "If you're just in it to win it, and you really want a fair shot, I think we need to do something a little extreme."
You blink, scared. "What do you mean…extreme?"
She bites her lip and you have to resist the urge to stare. "Youngj said this was supposed to be platonic, so that's how most people are going to approach it. How do we seem better or stronger than other platonic relationships? What’s more intense than that?"
You must be misunderstanding where she's going with this. "Um, a romantic one?" You say, furrowing your eyebrows.
To your shock, she nods. "Exactly. Y/n, I'm saying that we should make our Cupid partnership a romantic one," Bada states, her expression serious.
Your head is spinning. She is taking this much more seriously than you were anticipating. You were expecting to just go out for coffee a few times, and maybe post a picture of your twinning lattes on instagram to sell your friendship. You have no idea how to process this more intense proposition.
"Are you suggesting that we pretend to date each other?" You confirm.
A beat of silence. She leans back slightly, her eyes flickering. "I mean, yeah. Sure," She pauses. "Unless you're not comfortable with that."
"I am," You respond, the lie escaping your mouth with ease. 
Bada's eyes widen and she sits up, a smile growing on her face. "You're sure? If you're not cool with that, we don't have to. I know the idea is a little bit out there. I just, uh, want to help," She babbles, her fingers tapping against the floor again. 
You laugh. Was Bada Lee nervous? "I'm not uncomfortable with it. I trust you. As long as it helps us win,"
"It will, I promise. I'll make it worth your while," Bada vows, her expression determined.
"I can't wait," You laugh again, feeling the butterflies in your stomach flutter.
"Cool," She breathes, her body relaxing. "Well, I should go. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
You grin, nodding. "Yeah, that'd be great."
"Awesome," She smiles, standing up. She reaches her down and grabs your hand, pulling you up. "I'm not gonna be able to actually meet-up with you tomorrow because I have something scheduled, but I already have your phone number. I'll text you."
You nod, distracted and unable to speak as her soft fingers brush against your palm.
"Bye-bye," She waves cutely, her long legs swiftly carrying her across the room. You wave back, her departing smile etched into your brain as you watch the door click shut behind her. Then, you're alone. 
You stare at the floor, processing the interaction. You had just agreed to pretend to date one of the hottest and most intimidating women you had ever met. You had no clue why you did it. Maybe the promise of money and fulfilled dreams had blinded you. Still, the whole thing seemed a little too ridiculous. Too dangerous. 
But there was no backing out now. You already went through the trouble of telling Bada about your desperation, and you told her that you trusted her. You'd have to commit. 
"Well," you whisper, hugging yourself in a soothing motion. "Here goes nothing."
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You fidget within the plush confines of your seat, hesitantly glancing around your dimly lit surroundings as you twist a gleaming piece of silverware between your fingers. Your other hand remains in your lap, afraid to touch the red linen covering your table. Your gaze settles on a couple a few tables away from you, clinking their wine glasses together with pompous grins. It crosses your mind that the wine they're drinking is probably worth more than the money you're doing all of this for, and you make the executive decision to reach for the bottle of wine the woman sitting across from you generously bought. 
When you drop your fork to outstretch your hand toward the bottle, the woman in question seems to notice, hurriedly grabbing ahold of it before you can reach it, and pours the liquid into your glass, herself. 
"Thank you," you murmur, retracting your hand and finally allowing it to fall on the table. 
"No problem," Bada replies, her voice warm and velvety, like the wine. She pushes your drink toward you, and you hurriedly snatch it up to take a large gulp, allowing it to trickle down your throat. The heat of the alcohol soothes your anxiety, and you exhale deeply. 
Your relief lasts for approximately one millisecond. Because, in the next, you're putting your drink down and are being reminded of the predicament you've gotten yourself into. Bada's preoccupation with her menu gives you the chance to observe the way the soft glow emanating from a nearby lamp illuminates her features. The light traces the curves of her face, accentuating every perfect line. Her eyebrows furrow in concentration, compelling you to consider reaching over the table to smooth the lines over with your thumb. When you try to look away, your gaze locks on the pouting of her lips as she focuses on whatever she's reading. 
"I'm thinking of getting the Frutti Di Mare," she voices, snapping you out of your trance. She sets the menu down and looks up, a gentle smile on her face.
"I don't know what that is," you respond dumbly. 
She laughs, the sound light and airy, causing the skin near her eyes to wrinkle adorably. "I thought Italian was your favorite?"
"It is," you confirm, feeling flustered. "I just-the Italian places I go to are super watered down. The fanciest thing you'll see there is fettuccini alfredo,"
"That makes sense," Bada nods, her smile turning playful. "Then, I'll let you know what it is. It's basically seafood. I think it's usually served with pasta."
"Ah," you reply, nodding slowly. "Tasty."
Bada laughs again, and you feel like a scratched CD—unable to get any words out, twitching in place, devilish sounds threatening to enemate from you at any moment. "I'll make sure to order an extra portion for you to try. Unless, of course, you don't want me to."
"No, that works. I'm fine with that," you respond, quickly.
"I figured." Bada smiles knowingly.
Your hand clutches your chest. "Hey, is that a little shade? Did I miss it? Please, elaborate," you joke, leaning forward.
Bada giggles. "Maybe. You've been drinking a lot of that wine. And I think you ate most of the breadsticks."
You glance at your breadcrumb filled plate, then at the half-empty basket of breadsticks. "Oh. Wow. I did."
"You did," Bada affirms, her expression amused. She scoots her chair closer and takes a sip of her own drink, her tongue darting out to lick her lips once she's done. You have the overwhelming urge to mimic the motion, but resist, choosing to instead stuff another breadstick in your mouth.
You swallow the last bits of the breadstick, wiping the crumbs off of your mouth, only for a new, smaller, crumb to appear. Bada notices, and when she raises her arm, your breath hitches. You feel her soft hand graze the side of your face, the pad of her thumb rubbing the crumb off your lip.
"There we go," Bada smiles, satisfied. You can't help but lean into her touch, the warmth of her skin a pleasant contrast against the cold room.
You're startled out of the moment when the waiter appears, setting a basket of warm bread down. You jump, moving away from Bada.
"Have we decided what we'd like to eat?" he asks, his accent thick.
Bada nods, seemingly unaffected by the exchange. "Yes, we're ready. I'll have the Frutti di Mare."
"Great choice," the waiter says. "And, for you, miss?"
"Um, Spaghetti," you answer, your voice strained. 
The waiter scribbles down the order. "Anything else to drink?"
"I’m good, thank you," Bada answers, her tone sweet, smiling gratefully at the man.
"I'll be right back with your food," the waiter bows his head, his ponytail bouncing, and swiftly leaves the table, leaving the two of you alone. 
Avoiding eye contact with Bada, you grab ahold of your glass and drink. The air crackles with something subtle, and you find yourself stealing glances at Bada’s pretty face in between sips, your cheeks warming.
But you needed to get down to business. It’s already been two days since you discussed fake-dating, and this is the first time you’ve done anything together. The clock was ticking.
You placed your drink down on the table and swallowed loudly, causing Bada to stop fiddling with the napkin in front of her in favor of looking at you. 
"So," you start.
"So," she copies.
"What's the plan?" you ask, drumming your fingers against the table.
Bada's eyebrows furrow again. "The plan?"
"For the whole Cupid thing," you clarify.
"Oh," she says, blinking. "Right. Well, I was thinking, that this was sort of the plan."
"This being..."
"Dinner. At a fancy restaurant," she responds, gesturing to her surroundings. "People will see us hanging out together here, and it'll get the rumor mill running. I wouldn't be surprised if the media picked it up, honestly. I think it's a pretty solid first step. We're just planting the seeds,"
You nod. "Yeah, okay. That makes sense. How do we get from here to actually dating?"
She leans back in her chair, pondering the question. "Hm. I don't know. An Instagram post, maybe? A soft launch?"
You consider this. "Okay, sure. But, what would the picture be of? This is all so, vague."
Bada shrugs, nonchalant. "We'll figure it out as we go. We're gonna be spending a lot of time together for the next few days so there'll be plenty of opportunities for pictures. For now, I think we should just enjoy dinner. We're supposed to look like a couple in love right now and I don't know if trying to scientifically plan a soft launch is really giving romance."
"Right," you sigh. "Sorry."
"Don't apologize," Bada says, reaching across the table to give your hand a quick squeeze.
You're interrupted by the waiter returning, bringing the food. He carefully sets the dishes down, and a delectable smell fills the air.
"Bon appetit," the waiter bows his head and disappears again.
"Thanks," you call after him, taking a moment to observe the meal.
"It looks great," Bada comments, reaching for her fork.
"It does," you agree, grabbing your own utensils. You take a tentative bite, moaning loudly as the flavors immediately explode in your mouth. "Holy fuck."
Bada stares at you, wide-eyed and frozen, a piece of pasta still stuck on her fork.
You blush, covering your mouth. "Oh my gosh, sorry."
She gulps, snapping out of her stupor. "No, no, it's fine. That was just, a, uh. It seems like you really like it!"
"It's really good," you confirm, your words muffled by the food.
"I can tell," Bada chuckles, her voice low and her eyes twinkling.
"Sorry. I'm gonna try not to embarrass myself any more," you say, chewing more delicately.
She laughs softly. "There's no need to apologize. You're funny, y/n," Bada says, the sincerity of her words and the fondness in her tone making heat rise to your cheeks. 
You eat the rest of your food quietly, listening to the bustling noise around you, the sound of Bada's utensils clinking against her plate unusually relaxing.
As you're finishing your last bits of pasta, a group of loud voices and giggles pass by your table. One of the girls, a brunette, notices the two of you and stops.
"Oh, my god," you hear the girl not-so-discreetly whisper, clutching her friends' arms. "Is that who I think it is?"
You glance at Bada, and she's looking at you. You raise an eyebrow.
"Bada Lee and...I don't know who that is? Who is that?" The brunette's friend replies.
You look down, pretending not to hear the conversation.
"I don't know either. You think that's her girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?! No way. They're probably just hanging out or something."
At this, Bada drops her fork and reaches across the table for your hand, grabbing it gently.
"You okay, baby?" Bada asks, her tone sugary sweet.
You're taken aback by the pet name. But, you decide to play along. You smile at her, placing your other hand over hers. "I'm fine, sweetie. Just a little tired."
"Do you wanna leave, honey?"
"I think I'll be fine," you grin.
"If you're sure," Bada smiles, stroking the back of your hand with her thumb.
"I'm positive, honey bunch," you affirm, biting onto your bottom lip to contain your laughter. 
"Aw, they're cute!" the brunette sighs. "I've gotta tell Sooyoung about this."
"Yeah, we should leave them alone, though. Let's go."
You and Bada watch the pair walk away. As soon as the women are out of sight, the two of you burst into laughter, dropping the facade.
"Did you see their faces?" Bada giggles.
"'Who is that?'" you imitate, your voice high pitched and nasal.
"Baby," Bada says, smirking. 
You laugh, but the endearment sends butterflies to your stomach. "Sweetie."
"Honey bunch," Bada grins.
"Honey bunny," you fire back.
"My love," she replies, tilting her head with a smirk, her voice playful. 
"Lovebug," you answer, raising an eyebrow.
"Is this foreplay?" she jokes, laughing. 
"I mean, if you want it to be, I'm not stopping you," you say, the words slipping out before you can stop yourself. Bada's eyes shoot up, and you feel slightly mortified and shocked by your own brazenness. 
"Do you mean that?" Bada asks, her voice dropping down an octave.
You open your mouth, then shut it. This is odd. You were regretting your lack of filter at first, but Bada seemed a bit too intrigued by the idea of consensual foreplay with you. She could just be joking, or really committing to the fake-dating bit. The look in her eyes was telling you otherwise, though.
However, you're cut off by the waiter reappearing. "May I interest you in dessert, or shall I bring the check?" he asks.
"Just the check, please," she says, not breaking eye contact with you.
The waiter bows, leaving the table once more.
You opt to stare down at the table. "I'll pay half," you offer, avoiding her earlier question.
"It's on me," Bada says. "I brought you here."
"Thank you."
"It's no problem," she says, a small smile on her lips.
Once the waiter comes back, Bada gives him her card. When he returns to your table with the receipt, Bada locks eyes with you, your heart thumping loudly.
"Let's get out of here," Bada says, and you nod.
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You stand at the entrance of the restaurant, a gentle breeze caressing your face. Your hands are stuffed in the pockets of your coat, and the chilly air nips at the tip of your nose.
"Are you ready?" Bada asks from behind you. You turn around to look at her, and the way her eyes reflect the light of the streetlamps above you causes your chest to tighten.
"Ready," you confirm, a hint of a smile on your face.
"Alright," Bada says, shoving her phone, which you don't remember seeing her pull out, into her coat pocket. She leads you to her car, opening the passenger seat door for you.
"Thanks," you smile, and she responds with a nod. 
After the door is closed, she goes around to the driver's seat, starting the engine and driving out of the parking lot. You're both silent as she navigates through the streets. You peer out the window, watching the city lights flicker and blur as you replay tonight's events, attempting to ignore the now obvious tension. 
"So," Bada breaks the silence, causing you to whip your head toward her. "You still haven't fully explained to me what plans you have in mind for that camera you're wanting so badly."
"Well," you begin, relieved that she took the conversation in this direction. "I love what I do at JustJerk. Seriously, watching you guys dance is amazing, and the people are the best. But, I don't want my career to end there. I want to do more on top of that, diversify my portfolio and all. What I really want to do is get onto a music video set. Maybe start directing, too. One day."
Bada hums and smiles. "That's amazing."
"Thanks," you grin, scratching the back of your neck.
"With all due respect, though, do you really need the new equipment for that? You do such a good job with our choreography videos. I don't know anything about videography, but I'd be surprised if that alone couldn't get your foot in the door."
"Well," you draw out, considering your words. "That's probably true. But, I don't think I'm that lucky. The equipment will help, the camera will be useful...the lenses will be nice to have…”
Bada frowns. "Have you given it a shot yet, though? As much as I'm going to try my hardest to help you win this money, realistically, there's a good chance that we still won't win. I'd hate to see you postpone your dreams just because of this camera, or because of this project."
You pause, staring at the car's interior, listening to the sound of the engine running, lost in thought. You weren't sure if it was because you admired Bada so much, or if it was something about her tone, but you were actually starting to rethink things. Perhaps you were holding yourself back a bit. 
"Maybe," you simply respond, unable to say much else. 
"I mean, the equipment will probably help," Bada concedes. "But, not having it won't stop you, I'm sure. Our videographers really don't get enough credit. But, you're all great and you're especially amazing at what you do, y/n. The only reason why I haven't gotten around to working with you is because the other dancers keep getting to you first," she admits, bitterly. 
"Wow," you breathe. "Thank you."
"Of course. You're awesome," she says, the confidence in her words filling your heart.
"So are you," you say, turning away from her, trying not to blush.
"I know. You’ve said it already," Bada smirks, and you simply roll your eyes. 
A more comfortable silence envelops the two of you, and the tension from before dissipates. You lean back in the passenger seat, a smile on your face, feeling content.
Soon, Bada pulls up outside of your apartment, and you're disappointed. 
"This is you," Bada announces.
"Yep," you nod.
"I had a lot of fun tonight," she says, smiling.
"Me too," you reply with a matching smile. "Thank you for dinner."
"It was no problem," she states, waving her hand.
You step outside, but, before closing the car door, you hesitate. "Um," you say, unsure.
"What is it?" Bada asks, a hint of worry in her tone.
"Can I give you a hug?" you blurt out.
Bada looks startled, but her expression softens. "Sure," she nods, turning the engine off and stepping outside.
You meet her on the sidewalk, and pull her into a hug, wrapping your arms around her torso and pressing your cheek against her chest. She hugs back, and you swear that you can hear her heartbeat.
"Goodnight," Bada whispers into your hair.
"Goodnight," you echo, pulling away, already missing her warmth.
She opens the car door again, ducking inside. "Text me when you get upstairs," she instructs.
"I will," you promise.
"Great. Goodnight, y/n," she smiles.
"Goodnight, Bada," you reply, watching her drive away. Once her car disappears, you sigh.
As you trudge up the stairs to your apartment, a single question repeats in your mind: What the fuck am I doing?
You finish cleaning up and getting ready for bed approximately two hours later. As you lay in bed, scrolling through social media, a post from a JustJerk fanpage catches your eye. It's a picture of Bada and you together at dinner, with the caption, "Caught on a date?!"
You laugh at the predictability of the situation, and just as you're about to turn off your phone, you think to check Bada's Instagram, curious. She posted a new story.
You tap it, and it's a picture of you, taken from behind, standing outside the restaurant. There are no words attached to the picture. Just one, pink heart.
You smile, saving the picture, and fall asleep with the image burned into your mind.
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Three days later, you are stationed near your camera, watching Bada teach. The day after your fake dinner date, she sent you a text describing the next stage of the plan, which was attending each other's events and collaborating in public whenever it seemed right. This initially felt like an excellent idea. You'd been dying to watch and record one of Bada's classes since you started working at JustJerk, and it brought you guys one step closer to convincing everyone you were seriously dating. What could go wrong?
The actual execution of this idea turned out to be much more distressing than you previously imagined. It started this morning when you were filming Minho's class. You kneeled in the front of the room, prepping your camera as Minho made rounds around the studio to talk to his students individually. Engrossed with your equipment, you didn't hear the sounds of the door opening and closing, or the following eruption of loud murmuring. It was not until you saw a pair of sneakers stop in front of you and caught a whiff of a now-familiar sweet aroma, that you bothered to glance up. When you did, you found yourself making eye contact with Bada, holding a bouquet.
"These are for you," Bada said, a proud smile on her face. 
Your jaw dropped and you scrambled to get up, almost knocking the camera over. They were roses, vibrant and beautiful against the dull gray of the dance studio. No one had done this for you before. 
"They're gorgeous," you whispered, accepting the flowers.
"I'm glad you think so," she replied, her smile deepening as she observed your reaction. You cradled the bouquet in your hands, inhaling the smell of the roses with a pleased hum and missing the endeared expression on Bada's face. You certainly didn’t see the way she started to lean forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead. Shocked, you loosened your grip on the bouquet, feeling nothing but the rush of warmth spread through every inch of you as a result of her tiny peck. 
She shifted back, as relaxed as ever. "I gotta go, but I'll see you later?" 
"Definitely," you nod, clutching the bouquet once again, head spinning.
"Great." She nodded, then made her way out of the studio.
After she left, you turned to face the room, only to be met with everyone’s staring. Right. That is what this is about. Getting attention. Nothing else. 
You glanced at Minho, who had a teasing smirk on his face.
"What?" you asked him, scowling. 
"Nothing," he laughed, then restarted his class. 
Now you are recording Bada's class. Or at least, that’s what you’re supposed to be doing. But, having to observe her so confidently lead her students through a routine, hearing her call out corrections with a simultaneously gentle yet demanding tone, noticing how hard her abs are when she lifts her shirt to wipe the sweat from her brow for the last hour? It's been painful. You're so busy trying not to swoon you've nearly forgotten to press record a couple of times.
She suddenly looks at you, flashing a small smile at you accompanied by crinkling eyes. You give her a thumbs-up and quickly shift your gaze toward the camera as if you were busy setting the frame, even though the shot is already perfect.
Bada returns her focus to the class, and the lesson continues. Every once in a while, Bada walks over to you, checking in and asking how everything is going. Each time, she offers a smile, a wink, or some form of encouragement, and every time, it takes everything in your power not to blush. She's clearly playing it up for the audience, but the effect she has on you is no act.
Her students are buying it, though. The moment she gets near you, the girls (and a few guys) start whispering amongst themselves. It's working.
"Alright," Bada claps, signaling the end of the session. "That's it for today. Good job, everybody."
"Thank you, teacher!" they all exclaim, bowing and gathering their things.
You're packing up your camera when you feel a pair of hands grasp your waist. Startled, you drop your tripod.
"Gotcha," Bada giggles.
"Shit, that scared me," you say, placing a hand on your heart.
"Sorry, sorry," she laughs. "How'd the recording go?"
"Pretty good," you say, bending down to pick up the tripod. Bada immediately crouches, beating you to it. "Thank you."
"No problem" she says, straightening up, extending the tripod towards you.
"Thanks," you say again, taking the device from her. "Anyway, you did good. It's not going to need much editing."
"Really?" Bada smiles. "Thank you. That means a lot, actually."
"It’s no problem," you grin, suppressing the fluttering in your stomach. "And, uh, thanks again for the flowers, by the way. They were beautiful."
“You are very welcome. Just fulfilling my fake-girlfriend duties," Bada beams, and you have to look away.
"Well, anyway, I should probably head home," you say, avoiding eye contact. "Gotta get started on the footage."
She tilts her head. "Uh, I don’t think so. That’s gonna have to wait for tomorrow,” 
"Huh? Why?" you ask, confused.
"Because, y/n, we're going bowling with Youngj and them? Don't tell me you forgot," she chides, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh," you say, remembering. "I thought that was supposed to be later."
"It's 7:30," she says, a slight frown on her face.
"Fuck," you curse, running a hand through your hair. "Sorry, I'll get out of here."
"We have to go there together," Bada reminds you.
"Shit. Okay, yeah, let's go," you sigh.
"Are you okay?" she asks, concern etched onto her features.
"Yes. No. Ugh. Sorry, I just had a lot on my mind today. Didn't get much sleep," you say, rubbing your eyes. It wasn’t a complete lie. Ever since your date at the restaurant, you’ve been getting bombarded with messages from friends asking about the two of you, giving you little time to rest alongside your work for Justjerk. There was more going on today, though. 
"That sucks," Bada sympathizes. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Not really," you answer, bluntly.
"Okay," she says, softly. "But, if and when you do, I’m all ears."
"Thanks, Bada. I appreciate it," you reply, and a part of you is telling yourself not to get attached. But the bigger part of you, the part that wants nothing more than to fall into her arms, tells that smaller part to fuck off.
"Of course. Anyway, we should really get going," she says, and you follow her out the door, leaving your thoughts and feelings behind.
read part two
253 notes · View notes
twig-tea · 3 months
Note
With 23.5 finally coming out, the people are rejoicing at finally getting a high profile gl from GMMTV. But there have already been several gls airing this year, including my fav TsukuTabe, that have been flying under the radar with fandom, and in general there are more gls already out there than folks seem to think. I just know you have a list of all the gls we should be watching, please share with the class!
Thank you for the ask! How did you know I had a draft of GL recs to make at some point? [Trick question, I mentioned it to you.]
It may seem like I'm out here hating on GL because i've made a couple of negative reviews of recently airing series recently (Love Senior and Chaser Game W in case you're curious) but I actually have lots of GL that I love and that I wish were better known! Thanks for sending this ask so I am inspired to actually finish it! I've limited myself to series so that I could keep the list and this post to a reasonable length. Where possible I've listed where you can find each of these and included a link. And I've included an 'elevator pitch' summary but I am NOT in marketing for a reason, so please don't roast me too hard for my terrible comparisons. Alright, enough waffling!
Twig's GL Rec List
She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S1 & 2 (Japan, 2022 & 2024, both seasons fansubbed by @furritsubs; if you need help accessing this show feel free to DM me!)
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Elevator pitch: Our Dining Table with lesbians and an even slower burn. Watch for beautiful food, acespec rep, mental health and therapy rep
What might turn some off: Extremely low heat, and quite slow-moving; warning for a disordered eating and family trauma plot (v gently handled)
Let's start with the one you've already mentioned. This is a heartwarming slice-of-life slow burn in which an autismspec-coded woman who likes to eat is invited by her neighbour, a femme acespec woman who loves to cook, to come and eat her food. It starts from a very practical place (when you love making food you need someone to help eat it), but their relationship grows as they spend more time together. The story follows them as they both move towards self-actualization in several ways: as a lesbian, as asexual, at work, with their families, with their friends, with each other. This show is so careful to say the important words aloud. And there is so much delicious cooking! Each episode highlights a particular recipe, and the food porn is real. Do not watch while hungry, but definitely watch. The found famiy vibes in this one one are also immaculate.
She Makes My Heart Flutter (Korea, 2022, YouTube)
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Elevator pitch: Younger lesbian friend group tries to help out (slightly) older lesbian bar owner with mixed success. I can't think of a good BL equivalent, The Moment Since feels the closest with its similar bartender/patron romance
What might turn some off: Comedic tone; short runtime; struggles with being closeted
This is a gem of a miniseries about a bar owner and an interior designer who smoulder at one another while an intrepid group of younger bar regulars (including the bar owner's neice) meddle. This series is really cute, solid, and full of sapphics! Once again found family vibes are immaculate (you may sense a theme in my faves). Run don't walk.
Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan, 2021, GagaOOLala)
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Elevator pitch: Right-person-wrong-time/second chance romance; tonally is a little like We Best Love 2: Fighting Mr. 2nd but with an ambiguous ending.
What might turn you off: Medium heat, second chance romance means they break up once, internalized homophobia, adultery/cheating, at one point there's a creepy dude, child with autism (depicted well), ambiguous ending
At its core this is a story of a woman who can't stop getting in the way of her own happiness. This series is a little more sad than the rest of this rec list but I couldn't not include it because this relationship is so poignant. Plus there's a s2 that supposedly is to come out in 2024 so maybe we'll get our happy ending after all?
Love Greater Than or Equal to 70 Degrees C (Korea, 2019, YouTube)
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Elevator pitch: Ingredients but with lesbians staring at one another over beautiful tea pairings! What more could you ask for?
What might turn you off: Low heat; short runtime; ambiguous ending; like Ingredients this is essentially a long ad for the café it's filmed at.
This is a Korean miniseries about passionate tea sommeliers making really fancy tea while staring at one another a LOT. Perfect sapphic representation, 10/10 no notes. This one packs a lot of the drama tropes into its short runtime, so even though it's short it's full of butterfly-inspiring moments.
Sleep With Me (Philippines, 2022, GagaOOLala/iWantTFC/Netflix w/VPN set to Philippines)
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Elevator pitch: The Truth About Cats and Dogs but the self esteem issues are handled without catfishing. BL equivalent: Hmmm. Closest I can think of is Gaya Sa Pelikula.
What might turn you off: There's some ableism (treated as such) in this show; Open ending.
Stellar GL between a late night radio DJ and an insomniac who listens to her show. One of the main couple is a wheelchair user and the show tackles ablelism and navigating disability in relationship as well as feelings of inadequacy in a relationship and how that manifests as interpersonal conflict.
Our Relationship Ended Before it Began (Korea, 2022, YouTube)
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Elevator Pitch: Along the lines of I Cannot Reach You; the show gives both perspectives and they are held back by queer angst.
What might turn you off: No kiss (but they make it very clear both want to kiss), internalized homophobia
Really sweet miniseries about having a crush and being afraid of being hurt so you don't actually make a move. I really like the way the girl who has not dated a girl before defaults to gender roles and it throws the more experienced lesbian lol I also really like the way this show makes clear that both of them are waiting for a kiss, and that if you get in your head about things, it can get in the way of your own happiness!
Pearl Next Door (Philippines, 2020, Youtube)
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Elevator Pitch: Gameboys but with lesbian vloggers.
What might turn you off: Love triangle, lots of teasing but low heat in the end, a lot of (good) conversations about mental health issues, ambiguous ending
This is the GL spinoff to Gameboys, starring Pearl from Gameboys. Pearl ends up being fought over by the two gorgeous women in the gif, an old love and a new. I love the queer friendships in this story as much as the relationships. I will say it's an open ending (that felt a bit like the showrunners didn't want to decide between ships) and definitely the love triangle features prominently but even in the face of these aspects that would normally turn me off a series I had a good time. The characters and interpersonal conflicts feel very real, and are allowed to be complex even when the show tone is comedic.
Dear Uranus (Taiwan, 2021, YouTube)
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Elevator Pitch: Schoolgirl ensemble GL; a little like My School President but without the singing.
What might turn you off: Short runtime; ambiguous ending; a little bit of bullying; very standard romance trope execution
The first Taiwanese GL miniseries, this series was produced by a Taiwanese lesbian couple (Rabbit & Wolf)! Lots of excellent drama tropes, and incredibly gorgeous women (I think the entire watching audience fell in love with Erol.
Lily Fever (Korea, 2015, YouTube)
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Elevator pitch: Complete crack; YYY but with more kissing and frankly an even less coherent story.
What might turn you off: The lack of coherent plot; less a romance and more a very thirsty lesbian kissing everyone she can
This miniseries is utter chaos. Nothing really makes sense, it's all just random excuses to cause very suggestive moments (and kissing) to happen. I love so much how this series depicts women being so absolutely thirsty for one another (and yes that date isn't a typo, this series is ~9 years old). Not an "happy ever after" ending but it really isn't that kind of story.
Chasing Sunsets (Philippines, 2020, YouTube)
Elevator pitch: Ocean Likes Me with lesbians. Resort romance with a mental health twist.
What might turn you off: Some of the mental health stuff gets intense, this was filmed in 2020 so the pandemic features heavily; hopeful but slightly ambiguous ending.
A complex story from the Philippines covering mental health and finding yourself. A woman shows up to a resort and befriends one of the women running the resort. They get closer as they spend time together, and the resort owner realizes something is off. There's also a BL side couple in this series.
Show Me Love (Thai, 2023, YouTube)
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Elevator pitch: A little like My Day the series with lesbians, in that they work together and fall in love and it's full of tropes
What might turn you off: The advertising for the Miss Grand competition, there is some bullying and cheating (though way less than I was expecting tbh), not a lot actually happens, the editing gets a bit wonky at the end
This is essentially a massive ad for the Miss Grand Thailand competition; this GL was produced by the same company that produces that competition, and the stars are mostly Miss Grand competitors. The main pairing were shipped in the actual competition, and the company decided to make a GL about them. It's very slow paced and low-stakes, and there are better kisses than I expected considering everything I just said about where this show came from. There are a lot of cute moments!
Girlfriend Project (Korea, 2022, YouTube)
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Elevator Pitch: Love Class with lesbians
What might turn you off: One of the leads is kind of mean in that pgitail-pulling way? It ends abruptly (but happily)
This is a short miniseries about two girls paired in a class that are assigned to "date". The chemistry is chemistrying. And there is a kiss (a good kiss, and a tiptoes kiss at that!). This show also has one of my favourite tropes, in which someone who seems like a pushover stands up for themselves and their partner finds it very attractive. For the record, in this show they are watching another GL by the same company, Love Tech.
Lulu (Philippines, 2022, Vivamax/grey)
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Elevator Pitch: Present Perfect with lesbians (but with a better ending).
What might turn you off: Depictions of panic attacks, brief depiction of drowning, pandemic lockdowns, illness, exes, waffling, happy but open ending (which I actually liked for this story)
Two women trying to move on from the garbage in their lives meet at the beach of a B&B (where one saves the other from drowning) and become one another's company during their escape and then something more. They both have baggage that seems determined to keep them apart even as they continue to be drawn together. In the end, they decide to stick it out and see where they end up, with no guarantee of happily ever after, which I found very sweet. Requires either a VivaMax account or searching the grey for it, but it's worth the effort (check MyDramaList comments for suggestions on where to find it). Plus one of the leads has a cactus as a pet.
Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (Korea, 2023, YouTube)
Elevator Pitch: A little like Fudanshi Bartender but without the fudanshi bartender and all of the bar patrons are lesbians lol
What might turn you off: Short, can get a little bit preachy, abrupt ending
Cute short series with different very stories every episode as different patrons visit the bar. The stories range from women who have been together for awhile, to people meeting from an online app for the first time, to someone visiting a lesbian bar for the first time; and yet the story all weaves together in a way that's satisfying though ends abruptly. Includes some solid marriage equality propaganda.
GAP the Series (Thai, 2022, YouTube)
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Elevator Pitch: Kind of the vibes of Together with Me but lesbians and in an office instead of school. Angry boss falls for charming new intern and
What might turn you off: This one is the highest heat of all these recs; homophobia especially amongst family, brief depictions of death by car, brief mentions of suicide, cheating, bullying, abuse of power in the office.
A list would not be complete without this one! Honestly the plot is a bit wobbly but the show is a lot of fun. The girls are very cute, the feelings and tension builds really well between them, the friend group is excellent, and in the special we get a wedding.
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The rest of these have caveats of one kind or another, but i couldn't leave them off a rec list, so here are the side couples and censored stories that are still worth your time anyway (I might do a separate more detailed post for these, as well as for films, one day if there's interest):
Nevertheless (GL side; Korean, 2021, Netflix) Not sure it's worth watching a whole kdrama for side lesbians? Search soljiwan on youtube. They are great. Even the Netflix account stans them. I watched this (ngl, I watched the SolJiwan cut) as it aired and was constantly braced for it to let us down but it did not! A really good friends-to-lovers story.
Friend Zone 2: Dangerous Area (GL side; Thailand, 2019, YouTube): These sapphics are messy and I love them. Decent conversation about dating someone with mental health issues in this series, and they're one of the only couples in this ensemble to get a happy ending. If you're just watching the lesbian couple (which you can, their story is pretty self-contained) you don't need to have seen s1.
Six Survivors (GL side; Japan, 2022, Viki) This show is a horror comedy and it is SO MUCH FUN. Warning for zombies and blood, but way less than you might think. One of the eponymous 6 survivors is a lesbian who keeps trying to convert them to veganism lol. If you watched Chaser Game W you'll recognize one of the actresses in this, the lead actress is from Kamisama no Ekohiiki, and one of the guys is from the prequel series His as well as I Want to See Only You! And yes there is a kiss. Also a surprising number of Mallrats references. Not for people who can't handle gore or relationships being complicated/not a "true love" story/ambiguous ending.
Kamisama no Ekohiiki (complicated question of is it GL in parts, Japan, 2021, furritsubs once again coming through to save the day) This one is a bit complex because there's bodyswap, but the girl who falls for the bodyswapped boy-in-a-girl's-body is clear that she is only interested in the girl. One of the better bodyswap stories because the bodyswap is not a secret for very long, so instead there's a lot of introspection about what gender means and who/what they are attracted to. Feels wrong to call this GL, necessarily, but it's very queer.
Couple of Mirrors (Censored GL, China, 2021, Viki) Story of a rich girl and her assassin girlfriend. This production did an amazing job getting away with what they could, just don't watch the last five minutes and we've got essentially a happy lesbian family.
Legend of Yunze (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) Very cute very low budget xianxia miniseries with two seasons and a special. The special is set in modern times in a future lifetime so if you want a cute censored-but-clearly-a-soulmate-love-story this is the one for you. Don't be thrown off by the weird cuts/abrupt episode endings, that's in line with cdramas in general.
Led Astray by Love (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) A very fun and adorable isekai story in which a modern day girl is transported to a wuxia novel setting and has to figure out how to get home, and gets romanced by the princess along the way.
And a few additional links for people who even more content:
My Indian sapphic webseries rec list
My suggestions for content with toms (Thai category that's similar to but not exactly the same as butch lesbians) in response to this post.
This really good GL MyDramaList list (not made by me!) lists what seems to be everything I've mentioned and about 200 more. Even I haven't seen a few of these!
My YouTube playlist of sapphic content: This includes anything I stumble across or find in my searches, a lot of music videos and random shorts as well as some microseries and miniseries that I don't consider GL but are WLW/sapphic in addition to true "GL" content. For serialized content, I add just the first ep. A complete mess, but you can trawl through to find stuff to watch, like Hetero!
SOONOTSUE: The same producers of She Makes My Heart Flutter have other short series on their channel worth checking out; if you liked that one, try Out of Breath!
Shakeshoulder: Thai YouTube producers of very pulpy (read: low budget and dramatic plots) shorts
FuFuKnows: This YouTube channel is owned by a gay Taiwanese couple that produces shorts every week, including some with GL mains and sides. These are very low budget but cover a whole swath of queer themes.
@douqi7s is a godsend providing subtitles for all kinds of content, including sapphic shorts and more series than I've listed here. Check their tumblr for links to all of their content; A Practical Guide to Being a Superstar's Assistant has one of the best setups to giving us great moments in the guise of something else so that they get past censorship I've ever seen; I also recommend The Vampires if you're into genre fiction, as well as Legend of Yunqian if you enjoyed the xianxia parts of Legend of Yunze. @wlwcatalogue did an excellent summary of many of the non-wuxia options here.
Quick pitch for the streaming platform GagaOOLala; it's affordable, has a ton of content, including a whack of GLs (originals, license series, and a ton of shorts), and is run by queer people out of Taiwan who care about good quality queer content being made and having an audience, and using the soft power from those successful series to support social change. And if you can't afford a subscription it's worth checking out what they have for free, they open up temporary free access to some things for various events throughout the year.
In searching for gifs for this post I found fellow tumblr user @drowningparty 's WLW compendium list; they've listed more series and films so check it out if you still need more content!
*wipes sweat off brow* that should be enough to be getting on with, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg! If there's something specific you want to see with sapphics let me know and I can tell you if I know it exists. Anyway, I hope this gives you and everyone else a taste of what all is out there! I of course always want more, I am serious about being a sapphic dragon hoarding every crumb i can get my lizardy hands on, but I do think what we have should also be appreciated more. If I missed one of your faves, please tell me!
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python333 · 4 months
Text
soft spot — python333
— — — —
synopsis you've been having a bad day, and ghost feels like being extra nice to you. plot twist you're an age regressor and him being so nice is NOT helping.
relationships platonic agere cg!ghost & gn little!reader.
characters ghost.
word count 6.7k.
warnings a victorious reference, age regressor reader, usage of c/n [call sign/code name], 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself]
note please feel free to attack me as much as you want if this is inaccurate. i don't even care if it's not constructive criticism. i am begging for everyone's thoughts and opinions on this!! this is also the longest oneshot i think i've ever written!
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“Having fun there?” 
You turn in your seat and find Ghost leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and one eye slightly wider than the other—an indication that his eyebrow is raised. 
“Not really,” You answer, setting down your gun. You’d been disassembling it, trying to take your mind off of the slowly growing headache that’s been building up for the past few hours. You don’t think it’s a migraine or anything, but it still bothers you greatly. 
“Yeah, no, I can tell,” Ghost chuckles, pushing himself off of the door frame and walking over to you. He eyes your gun for a moment, the magazine already removed as well as any live rounds left in the rifle ejected, and the bolt locked to the rear. You were only maybe a quarter of the way through your disassembly, even though you started around thirty minutes ago. 
For some reason, you woke up upset today. You were too tired, you felt awfully sluggish, and there was a throbbing pain clustered in the back of your eyebrows. So, in short—you were reasonably very upset. It showed visibly in the way your eyes twitched every so often, and in the way you felt the need to pinch the bridge of your nose to distract you from the pain that was still building up behind your brows. 
“What’s going on?” He asks, leaning on the table. 
“I have this headache that won’t go away,” You respond, sighing as you move your gaze from your gun to Ghost. You can barely see it, but from his eyes you can tell that his face scrunches up beneath his mask. He knows a thing or two about bad headaches, being someone who frequently gets migraines himself. 
“Have you taken any meds for it?” You shake your head ‘no’. Ghost holds up a single finger in a ‘one moment’ motion and rummages through the pockets on his tactical vest for a moment, before he pulls out a small bottle of ibuprofen no bigger than his palm. He hands it to you. 
“Here.” You blink at it for a moment. 
“Thanks,” You take the bottle gingerly and Ghost nods, watching you as you struggle with the child-proof lid for a second before getting it open. You shake out a small tablet, one the size of a low-dosage aspirin, and pop it into your mouth. You don’t have much of an issue dry-swallowing it, and it only takes one attempt before you successfully swallow the tablet.
“You’ve been feeling pretty bad this whole week, haven’t you?” Ghost frowns underneath his mask. 
You think for a moment before nodding, “Yeah, I guess. I think it’s mostly just stress.” 
You know it’s not just stress. 
For a while now, you’ve used something called ‘age regression’ as a form of stress relief. You don’t know exactly when it started, but you do know that it was before you were recruited for the 141. And originally, you made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t regress while on base, and you kept that promise for maybe a month before you broke it. 
You think it was Ghost that was the trigger, actually. You can vividly remember the first time you regressed while on base; you had just finished talking to Ghost, and he called you something—you think he called you something similar to ‘kid’—that made a flip in your mind switch immediately. You can remember excusing yourself from the conversation quickly, leaving your lieutenant slightly confused but otherwise unbothered by the strange action. 
And, worst of all, you can remember being in your quarters and practically burrowing under your blankets. You were curled up into a fetal position, trying to fight the urge to suck on your thumb or at least chew on something, but ultimately lost the fight and succumbed to your urges. You spent maybe a few hours like that, wide awake when you just wanted to try and sleep it away, thinking about that interaction you had with Ghost over and over again. 
You’re not stupid. You know that Ghost has some sort of soft spot for you—albeit, you don’t know exactly how soft that soft spot is, but it’s definitely soft. Soft enough that he goes the tiniest bit easier on you compared to other recruits, soft enough that he spares you more time than he does for others, and the most obvious of all—he initiates most of your conversations. 
Contrary to popular belief, he’s not the scary super-soldier most people think of him as. Sure, maybe he is kind of scary, and maybe his mask does jumpscare you when you’re doing missions in particularly dark spaces sometimes, but other than that he’s not scary in the slightest. If anything, he’s awkward. Awkward enough that he’s almost never the first person to talk to someone—except for you, of course. You don’t know why he acts so differently around you, but you don’t complain about it. 
“That’s rough,” Ghost looks down at you with concerned, empathetic eyes, “Sorry you’re so stressed. Mind me askin’ why?” 
“I don’t, but I also don’t know why I’m so stressed,” You huff out, even though you know the answer completely. You stand up, “I think it’s just me being sleep deprived. I’ve been having the tiniest bit of trouble falling asleep lately.” 
“You should’ve told me earlier,” Ghost tuts, “I have melatonin.” 
You give him a confused look. “You do?” 
“‘Course I do.” 
You blink at him for a moment before sighing, “Could I have some then?” 
“What’s the magic word?” You give him an unimpressed look, ignoring the way the words make your stomach twist, and his eyes crinkle in a way that lets you know that he’s grinning under his mask. 
“Could I please have some melatonin?” 
“The magic word was lotion, but I’ll let it slide,” Ghost hums, “There’s some in my office. I’ll grab it for you later.” 
“M’kay,” You look over at the door, unintentionally zoning out as you do. Your vision goes unfocused as the throbbing pain behind your eyebrows grows and something else grows inside of you. 
Jesus. Why can’t you choose any other time to get the urge to slip into a younger mentality? Why does your headache have to make everything worse for you? Why does Ghost have to be so nice and helpful? 
“Hey,” Ghost frowns, tapping a finger on your shoulder to snap you out of whatever trance you’re in, “[c/n]?” 
Oh God. 
Your eyes—that you try desperately to keep neutral—meet Ghost’s, his eyes soft and his eyebrows dipped downwards in a confused manner. His eyes are searching, flitting over you, trying to find something. The way he looks at you makes you want to squirm, and you can’t help but just slightly shuffle in place. 
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks, voice as concerned as his look. That should be the breaking point for you, but you remain as big as you can be, and nod affirmatively. 
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You try to assure him, hoping you don’t sound as nervous as you feel, “I think I’m just a little tired.” 
Ghost doesn’t look convinced. 
He puts a hand on your shoulder, the act like a hammer putting another dent in the wall you had put up. The leather of his glove is warm even through the thick material of your shirt, and it feels like hot metal against your cold skin, the clothing covering your shoulder be damned. 
“You can tell me if you’re not okay,” He tells you—what is he doing? Does he know something I don’t?—while his thumb starts rubbing circles into your shoulder, “I feel like you’re more than a little tired.” 
You stay silent for a little bit. You don’t know how to explain yourself, the words seeming to liquify and leak right out of you, making you speechless. He seems to notice this, sighing and letting his hand slip down to your hand, holding it and giving it a quick squeeze. 
“I think,” He looks around for a moment before turning back to you, “that we should head to my office so that nobody can bother us, and then you can tell me all about how you’re feeling right now. Does that sound okay?” 
You nod wordlessly, not trusting yourself to talk with how heavy your tongue feels, and you let Ghost lead you back to his office. It’s only a hallway away, but that’s still enough time to overthink everything that could possibly happen. How does he know something’s wrong? What gave it away? Did I do something bad? What did I do? Wh—
The creak of his office door opening snaps you out of your thoughts, and Ghost steps aside to let you enter his office first. Hesitantly, you take a few steps inside, and you hear the door click shut behind you as Ghost walks in. He takes your hand again, making you look at him as he guides you to a chair. 
You sit in the chair that’s in front of his desk, and he quickly drags out the chair that’s behind it so that it’s right next to yours. He sits down. 
He’s looking at you expectantly. 
“Uh.” You’re not sure what to say. He’s looking at you so reassuringly, it’s hard to keep yourself sitting upright. 
“I know something’s wrong,” Ghost says, leaning forward the tiniest bit, “I need you to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” 
He’s got to have at least some idea of what you’re experiencing, You think, trying to form some sort of explanation, He’s being so… weird? 
You swear there’s some other word you could use, but your vocabulary feels so limited, and you would mentally curse if you could because you know that now your explanation is gonna sound weird. You can’t use the words you want, you’re gonna be forced to use simple words, ones that can’t convey exactly how you feel. Words that—and it physically pained you to admit this—were childish. 
You can explain your situation. Just, now it would be more… blunt. And short. And also you’d feel like killing yourself afterwards. You won’t, obviously, but you can predict that you’ll come very close to doing so.
Okay, I have to say something because Ghost is looking more and more worried the longer I stay silent. 
“I feel…” You trail off for a moment, trying to get your thoughts in order for the next two seconds to actually say something that makes sense, before continuing in a far less confident tone, “… small.” 
The moment the words leave your mouth, you regret it. Ew. Ew. Ew. What. Why? Why that word? It leaves a sour taste on your tongue and yet you can’t think of any other word that would better suit how you feel. Still. Ew. 
Your thoughts are a jumbled mess ranging from fleeting thoughts of disgust to thoughts lodged in the back of your mind begging you to go anywhere else just so that you can stop having to have this conversation. This conversation requires words bigger than you have access to, and a sort of control over yourself that you can’t grasp. You can feel your hands twitching, wanting something to hold onto, anything to keep you distracted from the overwhelming urge to just regress. 
Ghost blinks. He didn’t expect that answer. 
“Small?” He repeats in a questioning tone, eyebrows furrowed, “I mean, compared to me, I guess you’re kind of short—” 
“No, no, not like short small,” You try to clarify, feeling just slightly discouraged by Ghost’s confused words, “Like…” 
You struggle to find the words that properly describe how you feel, only finding words like small and little in your current vocabulary. Your findings are making you increasingly upset, and you can feel your face start to grow hot with frustration and embarrassment. 
Oh my God. 
“Like…?” Ghost nudges your knee with his, trying to encourage you to talk, “I’m not leaving until you tell me.” 
There’s still a level of care in his words, no matter how confused he seems, and that adds all the more struggle to your predicament. Not only do you not want to tell him, but you can’t describe how you feel in a way that’s acceptable for someone your age to describe anything. At least, not in a way that you deem acceptable for yourself to describe anything. 
You’re far too old to be describing yourself as small. 
“[c/n]?” Ghost nudges you again, and you blink at him. Your eyes are flickering all over his mask, going anywhere but his eyes, since eye contact with anyone would make everything significantly worse for you right now. 
“It’s just—” You try to take a deep breath but your breath hitches. Everything is starting to make you feel so frustrated, and you’re starting to think that you might just throw a tantrum if you can’t do at least one thing right. You try to find the words you want to use but your throat is disobediently closing on you. Your mind feels like straight mush, and the quickly softening look that Ghost is giving you isn’t helping you at all. 
To your horror, in your inexplicable inability to talk in the way you normally do, you let out a small whine. It sounds obnoxious to your ears, and worst of all, sounds like something a little kid would do. 
You put your head in your hands, the quickly reddening skin of your cheeks getting cooled by the cold of your palms as you try and hide your face from Ghost. You can picture how he looks right now—somehow more confused than earlier, possibly annoyed, weirded out—and all those mental images make you bite your tongue to prevent another noise. 
“What was that?” You don’t answer him. 
To your non-answer, Ghost sighs, and you think, This is it, this is where he kicks me out of his office, oh my God I’m gonna get dishonorably discharged and he’s gonna give me a really mean look on my way out—
“Look at me.” You shake your head negatively. 
“Why not?” He sounds so confused, it makes you want to cry. There’s still a level of worry in his voice, and it adds to the fog that builds up in your brain. 
You move your face just slightly up so that your eyes peek out from above your fingertips, your hands covering the rest of your face. Ghost reaches out both of his hands, and ever so gently removes your hands from your face, uncovering your red cheeks and your lips—the lower of which quivers, like you’re about to cry. He notices this quickly, and you can practically feel the level of his worry shoot up. 
He doesn’t say anything, instead just holding your hands in his for a moment, before he sets them down into your lap. He looks at you, concerned, and asks, “Is it hard to talk right now?” 
You nod. His gaze shifts to his computer, and then back to you. 
“I’m gonna go look a few things up really quick, okay? I’ll just be right over there,” He nods over to the space behind his computer, “and I’ll be right back here in a few seconds.” 
You reluctantly nod again, and Ghost gets up from his seat. He grabs the back of the chair and drags it back around behind his desk, sitting down in it and powering on his monitor. It turns on almost immediately, much to his relief, and he goes to his browser and searches up a few things. You can’t tell what he’s searching up, only hearing the clacking of keys and the occasional final click that indicates that he’s hit the enter button. 
He stays there for maybe a minute or two. It’s a long few minutes, and you can feel yourself slipping more and more the longer he stays at his computer. And the more you feel yourself slipping into that younger mindset, the more you start to crave Ghost’s attention. 
The way his eyes are glued to his computer starts to irritate you. You’re aware that he’s doing something important, he must be, because why would he be so intent on looking something up otherwise, but still—you manage to feel the tiniest bit jealous of the computer. You know you’re too far gone when you can’t find it within yourself to realize that you’re jealous of a computer. 
Your eyes linger on him and he must notice this because he looks up from the screen of his monitor and looks over at you. As if he can read your mind, he reassures you, “Just a few more seconds.” 
But you said you were gonna be back in a few seconds a few minutes ago. 
You don’t voice your thoughts. Instead, you nod, because God forbid you annoy Ghost with your need for attention now when he’s being so patient with you. He looks at you for another moment before going back to his computer and looking something else up, this time with a little more fervor. 
Another few seconds pass and, true to his word this time, Ghost stops and gets up from his chair. He walks over to you, and your eyes follow him intently. He kneels down in front of you.
He looks hesitant to say something to you. That’s a first. That adds to the exponentially growing blob of fear that lives inside your mind, one of the only things that’s still prominent in the fog that conquers your brain. 
“Are you…” You feel like you know what he’s gonna ask you. You’re bracing yourself for the question, and he looks like he’s bracing himself just to ask it. 
“How, uh,” He’s trying to find the right wording, and you’ve never been able to relate to him harder than you do in this moment, “How… do you feel right now? How old?” 
How old? You don’t really like that question. As much as you like that you’re now getting attention, you’re starting to remember how little you actually enjoy this type of attention. The question is pretty vague, but at the same time so specific, and you’re almost ashamed to know exactly what the answer is. Or, at least, you would feel ashamed if there was room in your mind to feel so. 
“You said you feel small, right? Not like short small, just small?” He sounds more unsure of himself now, and you don’t think you like seeing him so reluctant to say something, “I looked up what it means to feel like that. Took some time, but I got to some person’s… website, and the person who wrote it was talkin’ about feeling like that. Something about regression, feeling a little bit younger than usual?” 
He’s being so awkward about it, and while you typically find his awkwardness funny, now it’s anything but that. 
“Uhm,” Your voice comes out as a mumble and you see Ghost perk up at it. You don’t know what to say. For a moment, you’re silent again, before you get over your embarrassment for a quick two seconds and force yourself to say, “Four.” 
“Four?” Ghost asks, before quickly realizing, “Right. Four. You feel four?” 
You nod, and your hands instinctively start moving back up to cover your face. Ghost swiftly grabs them, keeping his grip gentle as he keeps them from reaching your face. 
“Hey, don’t try to hide again,” He says, tone softening as he holds your hands, “everything’s fine, okay? Do you— what, uh— do you need me to do anything? Do you want me to leave you alo—”
“No!” You quickly answer, a little surprised by your own volume, before you clear your throat and answer in a much more quiet voice, “Don’t leave me alone.” 
“Okay, okay,” Ghost’s thumbs rub across the back of your hands, a soothing gesture that makes you the tiniest bit more relaxed, “what do you need?” 
You sniffle, and you can see an immediate look of panic cross Ghost’s eyes. You don’t know how well he is with crying children, and don’t want to impose such a situation on him, but you also can’t stop the tears that begin to well up in the corners of your eyes. 
“Hey, don’t cry,” He borderline begs, “everything’s gonna be okay, okay? Please do not cry. Take a deep breath.” 
You try to take a deep breath, you really do, but your breath just hitches and gets caught in your throat. It only makes you more distressed, adding to the urge you have to just disappear. Ghost notices your failed deep breathing and lets go of one of your hands, before taking the other and holding it to his chest.
You can just barely feel his heartbeat, his thick tactical vest and gear in the way of it, but you can still feel it. Ghost takes a deep breath, holding it for a second or two before slowly exhaling. 
“You copy me, okay?” He tells you, his words an order but his tone suggesting otherwise. He takes another deep breath, this time hoping you’ll follow his lead, and you do. 
You try to breathe with him, your hand on his chest helping, but your breath keeps getting caught in your throat. Ghost notices this, but continues his breathing anyway, hoping you’ll catch on soon. You do, thankfully—after a few more attempted breaths, you finally manage one almost identical to Ghost’s. The next few after that go similarly, and that’s when Ghost decides you’re alright to take your hand off of his chest. 
“I need you to tell me what to do,” He says, keeping your hand in his hold, “or at least tell me how all of this works. I want to help you.”
 You really don’t want to tell him what you need right now, but you also don’t think you have a choice. 
Wordlessly, you stand up from your seat, balance just slightly off-center before you quickly get your footing right. Ghost watches you, not moving, before you tug on his hand to try and urge him to get up as well. He obliges, getting up. 
“What—” You interrupt him by taking another step forward and letting your head thump right into his chest, ignoring the itchy uncomfortable feeling of his vest against your face. You don’t bother to wrap your arms around him to at least try and form some sort of hug, preferring to just smush yourself into him and hope for the best. 
After a moment of stunned silence, he wraps his arms around you. 
“You mind if we move behind my desk so I can look up some more stuff on all of this?” He asks, voice quiet, “Unless you want to just tell me?” 
“Desk,” You simply mumble into his vest, making him nod. 
“Alright, but you’re gonna have to stop hugging me for a second,” Ghost warns you. You reluctantly step away, and Ghost smiles softly down at you, bringing his hands away from your back and instead holding one of yours. 
He leads you behind his desk, and lets go of your hand before sitting down in his chair. Pausing, he quickly realizes you have nowhere to sit, and thinks for a moment before getting back up. He drags his chair just slightly to the side and looks back at you. 
“Sit down,” He nods to the chair, “It’s only gonna be a minute or two, alright?” 
You nod, hesitantly moving to sit in the chair, not really liking how far away from Ghost it is. It's not that far, You try to rationalize, I’m gonna be fine. 
Ghost can see your hesitation and tries to work as quickly as he can, grateful that he didn’t turn his computer off earlier, typing away on his keyboard. You don’t care to see what he’s looking up, more focused on looking at the time on his monitor. 21:44. 21:45. The time ticks by and even though it’s only been a few seconds you already want Ghost’s attention again. His attention has actually turned into good attention, and that’s the type of attention you’ve been craving for the past week. 
The clock reads 21:47 once Ghost is done, and he powers his monitor off this time, the small whirring the device makes dying down to a low hum before going completely silent. He turns to you, and somehow can sense that you need more attention. 
“Am I not paying enough attention to you?” He teases you, making you conflicted on whether you should be annoyed by the teasing or happy you’re finally getting attention. As if he can read your mind, he chuckles, and kneels down to your level. 
“I’m gonna give you as much attention as you need, alright?” He promises, “I just need you to stay in this room.” 
— 
Ghost watches you nod non-verbally, and it only adds to his softening expression. 
He’s always had a soft spot for kids. He knows that you aren’t technically a kid, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still see you as one. You’re young for someone in the military, much less someone in this 141, and now that he’s found out that you’re an age regressor, that you’re a little—well, that doesn’t help how he sees you at all. 
He thinks that maybe the reason he has such a soft spot for kids is a few encounters he’s had with them in the past. He’s seen far too many in compromising positions while on missions; positions like being held hostage, being held as prisoner, or just generally being mistreated or even just living in bad conditions. 
He looks at you, and he just sees another one of those kids. 
He sees how you act around him. He’s not stupid. When he talks to you, you’re actually engaged in the conversation, compared to when anyone else tries to talk to you—maybe excluding Price, or Soap, or Gaz, heavy on that maybe—you’re more likely than not brushing them off every chance you get. You’re standoffish with everyone else, but with him, you’ll always accept any conversation he initiates. 
He can also see the way you look at him. It’s like you’re looking at your idol, or your savior, the way you look up at him. He can see that curious glint in your eyes when he tells you about a recent mission, or when he tells you anything, really. He can see when you try to mimic how he holds his weapons, and when you try to copy his techniques. 
He remembers catching you one day in the shooting range trying to mimic how he aims at the targets—looking through your scope with one eye closed, the other focused only on the dot centered on the scope, taking a deep breath in and out before shooting, and keeping the gun exactly like that even seconds after the shot’s been fired. 
In fact, the copying has gone from guns to melee weapons recently. Ghost swings only his forearm when he uses a knife, thumb resting on the very end of the knife’s handle, and entire arm stiff as he does. He does a slow windup when behind someone, a fast one on the off-chance that he’s in front, and buries the weapon to the hilt in whoever’s flesh he’s penetrated. He’s already seen you do the same on a recent mission. Not only that, but he caught you using a knife almost identical to his. 
And now, you’re still looking at him like that—except, different. Sort of like how a kid might look up to their parents. 
“What do you feel like doing, kiddo?” He asks, hoping the pet name isn’t too much. 
From the way your eyes light up, he suspects it isn't. 
“Mmm…” You hum, thinking for a moment, before requesting, “Coloring?” 
“Coloring, huh?” Ghost looks around for some blank paper and some sort of marker or pen thick enough to act as one, but can only find some highlighters. He turns to you, frowning, “Sorry, but I don’t think I have any paper, kid. Anything else you wanna do?”
You shake your head, and Ghost is just about ready to jump off of a bridge before you point to his arm and repeat, “Coloring.” 
He looks at his arm for a second, confused, before he remembers a conversation the two of you had a month or so ago. 
“If you ever wanna get tattoos, I know a guy in Brighton,” Ghost said, reclining his chair back so that he can lay down in it. You were sitting across from him in front of his desk, fiddling with one of his pens. 
“Good to know,” You hummed, “You have any tattoos?” 
“Yeah,” You perked up at his admission, and he sat up for a second to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. He wasn’t wearing his usual gear, only one of those standard issue army-green shirts. 
“Here,” He pointed to a large tattoo covering his whole arm like a sleeve, a few designs you could point out to yourself being a skull, a few Roman numerals, and some kind of scythe. 
“Very emo,” You commented, making Ghost snort, “I like it.” 
“I’m glad,” He rolled his sleeve back down. 
There’s a lot of blank space in the tattoo, despite it being a sleeve, and he can already tell that you mean you want to color in that space. He thinks about it for a moment, a fleeting thought of is that even safe? crossing his mind before he ultimately decides that he doesn’t care and would rather kill himself than see you disappointed because he denied your request, his own health be damned. 
“Alright,” He hums, grabbing a few highlighters from a mesh cup on his desk in the colors pink, yellow, and blue, “Go for it.” 
You give him a small smile and if he cared about if he’d get ink poisoning two seconds ago, he sure as hell doesn’t care now. You gingerly grab the highlighters from his hand, your grabbing not too secure and sort of clumsy but secure enough that the markers stay in your hand.
You hold them with both hands, and it makes Ghost realize how small your hands are—sure, you could hold the highlighters with one hand, but he’s glad you aren’t because now he can admire just how small you are as a whole. 
You set the yellow and blue down on his desk, making sure they don’t roll off for a moment before uncapping the pink and hesitantly holding out a hand for Ghost’s arm. He rolls up his sleeve and obediently holds out his arm for you, watching curiously as you press the cold tip of the highlighter to his skin. You’re starting by coloring in the skull a neon pink, much to his amusement, and you’re starting in the dead center of its forehead. 
You’re so much more quiet than you usually are when you’re little, and you’re so much more hesitant, it makes Ghost want to just wrap you in a blanket and keep you safe and in his sight forever. 
Your tongue slightly pokes out from between your lips as you concentrate on coloring in Ghost’s tattoo, making him grin beneath his mask. The ink of the highlighter doesn’t stay within the black bounds of his tattoos at all, but he doesn’t care one bit, and he doesn’t think you care either. You finish up the skull quickly, and move onto the scythe that’s right next to it, this time capping the pink highlighter and grabbing the yellow. 
Ghost is pretty sure this is gonna stain his skin for a day or two, but he couldn’t care less.
He can’t help but notice how much more relaxed you look in your regressed state. More at peace, he should say. There’s no longer a hunch in your shoulders, your eyes aren’t twitching from your headache, and you’re not bouncing your leg like you usually do when you’re sitting down somewhere. It’s like any anxieties you had pre-regression had evaporated, like slipping into a younger mentality had taken away most of your worries, if not all of them. 
He also can’t help but wish he could see you like this more often. Not necessarily the regressed part, but the relaxed part. Well, maybe the regressed part too. You’re being such a sweetheart right now, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to live through this experience. 
“You having fun there, darling?” Ghost asks, his grin evident in his voice. The corners of your lips quirk up at the pet name and you nod silently, and now Ghost is starting to think you’re actually trying to kill him. You’re being so uncharacteristically shy, and you’re being so quiet, and you’re just being so sweet. 
It seems you’ve moved onto the blue highlighter now, coloring in the last bit of his tattoo. He doesn’t think he’ll ever wash it off—or, at least, he wouldn’t if he had a choice. He knows that he has to shower sometime soon, but surely he can put that off for a bit, right?
Once you’re finished with your coloring, you cap the highlighter, and set it down next to the others you’ve discarded. You turn Ghost’s arm the tiniest bit towards him so that he can see your work better. 
“‘s it good?” You ask quietly, watching intently for Ghost’s reaction. He looks over your coloring job and hums approvingly. 
“It’s amazing, I love it,” He assures you, smiling down softly at you, “You did great.” 
You seem to preen at the praise, and you take your hand off of Ghost’s arm, moving to put in your lap. You’re keeping yourself very contained, Ghost notices, Why? 
He’s snapped out of his thoughts when he hears you yawn, and you quickly move to cover your mouth as you do. He’s reminded that it’s almost twenty-two hundred, and while that usually wouldn’t be an issue for him, it’s an issue for you. You originally came to the 141 as someone who had a sleep schedule almost as fucked up at Ghost’s, but soon developed a habit of going to sleep somewhat early considering the training you had in the morning. So, now you get tired anywhere from eighteen-hundred to twenty-one hundred. After that, your only goal is to find somewhere to sleep. 
“Sleepy?” You nod tiredly, making Ghost coo, Ghost, the man who quite literally haunts some people’s nightmares, coos at you, “Aw, of course you are, sweetheart. Pretty sure it’s way past your bedtime by now.” 
“Nuh uh,” You deny, making Ghost chuckle. 
“‘Nuh uh’?” He asks, amused, “What d’you mean ‘nuh uh’?” 
“No b’dtime,” You shortly elaborate. 
“Ohhh, okay,” Ghost feigns realization, “You think you’re too big for a bedtime, huh?” 
“Mhm. Way too big.”
“I dunno about ‘way’ too big,” Ghost hums, checking to see if the highlighter on his arm has dried before he pulls his sleeve back down. “You seem pretty little to me.” 
“No,” You whine, dragging out the ‘o’, “Not lil’.” 
“Hmm… you sure, kiddo?” Ghost asks, “So if I ask you if you need to go to bed, you’re gonna say ‘no’?” 
That makes you hesitate, and Ghost almost thinks he’s won, before your own pettiness wins and you nod affirmatively. He raises an eyebrow at you. 
“Alright, well, you’ve gotta sleep at some point,” He says, crossing his arms as he leans back in his chair. 
You think this over for a second, and he watches as you look over him for a moment before looking down at his lap, then looking back up at him. He can already tell there’s some sort of plan forming in your mind.  Wordlessly, you get up, and Ghost does nothing to stop you as you decide to just plop yourself down into his lap. You straddle his thighs, moving until you’re sitting comfortably on him, and then let yourself slump forward so that your face is resting in the crook of his neck. It takes him a moment to process what just happened, before he laughs lightly and wraps both of his arms around you to keep you in place. 
“Oh, okay,” He grins, resting his chin on your shoulder, “you just wanna cuddle with me until you fall asleep? Is that what this is?” 
He feels you nod against his neck, and his grin grows as he rubs one hand against your back, trying to soothe you to sleep. He doesn’t say anything else, not wanting to distract you from your attempts to sleep anymore, simply letting you stay slumped against him. Your breathing wasn’t too fast-paced to begin with, but as you relax even more in his arms, he can feel your breathing even out. 
You’re falling asleep fairly quickly, and the only complaint he has is that he didn’t get to spend nearly as much time as he wanted to with you while you were awake and regressed. 
Once he’s sure you’re barely awake, he murmurs, “You’re such a sweetheart, you know that?” 
— 
You don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep, but you’re woken up by the slight rustling of clothes, and then you feel yourself moving up. 
Your mind still feels foggy and you can tell you’re still somewhat in that younger mindset of yours, but now you’re significantly less bothered by it than you were before. You’re awake enough to be aware of what’s happening, always having been a light-sleeper, but not awake enough to know exactly what’s happening. You don’t dare open your eyes, and try to keep your breathing even—though that isn’t much of a challenge. 
That headache that had been building up earlier has fully disappeared, thank God, and you no longer feel the tension in your shoulder that you’d been unconsciously carrying. 
You can sort of feel someone’s arms snaked under your back, and you know that you’re being moved somewhere. Quickly, you remember that it’s Ghost carrying you, and that you had fallen asleep on him, much to your embarrassment. Or, at least, it would be much to your embarrassment if you had the mental capacity to feel embarrassed about that right now. But you feel so comfy and so safe that it really doesn’t matter to you right now. 
You can hear the clicking of Ghost’s boots against the concrete floors of the hallway, and he’s carrying you off somewhere; you imagine that somewhere to be your sleeping quarters. He’s walking pretty fast, not hurriedly but still at a somewhat fast pace. 
Soon, he reaches a stopping point where he has to awkwardly put one leg up to support your back on his thigh as he quickly reaches one arm out to turn the knob of the door to your sleeping quarters and pulls that arm right back to support your back again. He sighs as he puts his foot back down, kicking open the door and walking in. 
He’s quick to reach your bed, and he pauses as he considers what to do. You can practically hear him thinking, wondering how he’s gonna get you under the covers while he’s still carrying you, and for a second you think about showing him you’re awake so that things are easier for him before he sets you down on the bed. 
He pulls the covers up and stops when he reaches the part your body covers, and picks you back up, before dropping you right back off where the blankets have been pulled away. He pulls the covers back over you. 
After a few moments, you think he’s left the room, before you hear the rustling of fabric and feel him leaning down. He gently presses his lips to your forehead and pulls away after a second or two, before quietly mumbling, “Night, kiddo.”
He stays there for a moment before you hear his footsteps leave the room, and then the door clicking shut behind him as he leaves the room entirely. 
You’re quick to fall asleep after that.
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sxcret-garden · 1 month
Text
Aspects of Desire ღ Masterlist [M]
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ღ Ateez Jongho x fem!reader ღ feat.: other members in some chapters ღ words: ~29k (current wc) ღ genre: established relationship, college AU, fluff, some humor, slice of life, smut (dom!Jongho, mostly sub!reader, BDSM, red-yellow-green used as safe words, choking, spanking, masturbation, punishment, orgasm denial, reader being tied up, strength kink, body worship, teasing, degradation, begging, hair-pulling, pain kink, reader going into subspace, dacryphilia, thigh riding, fingering, handjobs, oral, unprotected sex,... they have a few starting difficulties because reader has some misconceptions, he's veryvery careful at first - more will be added and I'm pretty sure I forgot smth, so detailed smut descriptions can be found in the respective chapters~) ღ warnings: heavy dom-sub dynamic, reader has a bit of a difficult relationship with her family, which is mentioned in some chapters, (descriptions of him picking reader up & touching her hair)
Desc.: When one day you reveal something to your boyfriend that you've been hiding, but unable to stop thinking about, the two of you decide to take your relationship - and especially your sex life - into a new direction. You begin to establish a dynamic that you both soon want to explore more of, diving into the depths of both your own and your partner's unknown desires.
If you want to be added to my taglist for this fic, please send me an ask about it <3
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1st Desire ღ Testing Limits (5.9k) Desc.: You and your boyfriend decide to take a step towards a new chapter in your relationship when a secret desire of yours finally slips through. What you didn’t know until now is that he’s more experienced than you thought he was, and that you’re not the only one who’s been dying to spice up your sex life.
2nd Desire ღ Tie Me Down (5.1k) Desc.: Lost in your excitement over the recent development in your relationship with your boyfriend Jongho, you try to tickle more of his dominant side out of him. When he shuts down that attempt with only the best of intentions, he makes sure you won’t stay flustered by your miscalculation for long.
3rd Desire ღ A Little Jealousy (4.8k) Desc.: When you’re meeting up with your classmate and friend Yeosang in order to finally finish that dreaded uni project that’s been keeping you on edge for the past weeks, you don’t expect him to bring along his flirtatious friend Wooyoung. What you also don’t expect is said friend knowingly attempting to flirt with you in front of your boyfriend, who just can’t help but let the hint of jealousy it makes him feel influence his actions once you’re in the comfort of your own home.
4th Desire ღ Hush, My Dear (5.8k) Desc.: Dinner with your family goes about as you expected - you’re slightly uncomfortable because of their choices in conversation topics and very much bored. Luckily, your boyfriend tagged along and knows just how to make you feel better, and in the process he too seems to be able to finally let go of his worries.
5th Desire ღ Dress (7.2k) Desc.: Your mother is trying to get you to wear a dress she picked out for you for your cousin’s upcoming wedding. At times like these you are especially thankful to have your boyfriend Jongho right by your side to help convince her to let you wear clothes you’re actually comfortable in. However, little do you know that despite having your back, he’s secretly smitten with the image of you in that dress.
6th Desire ღ ...
...
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Author's note: I think it's been about 3 years since I first had a vague idea about wanting to write a fic like this, which started out as merely a cute slice of life fic (without all the filth y'all are about to witness lol), went through many different changes and was abandoned as many times, until through lots of inspiration and ideas it finally took on the form it has now. And I'm really happy that I was finally able to turn it into an actual fic and not just a few unfinished drafts! I hope you guys have fun with this and enjoy~
(more chapters will be added as they're ready - and i have a lot of ideas...)
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shoccolatine · 3 months
Note
Do you feel comfortable with writing stuff about mental health issues. Like, MC being depressed due to a mission going wrong or something similar and hiding it from Zayne while they spiral deeper into it until he catches them doing something bad - like idk, self-harm, looking up suicide methods, something like that. Gender neutral reader would be great <3
If you don't want to write this for any reason, feel free to ignore my ask :)
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mission failure.
⚘pairing: zayne x gn!reader
⚘summary: after one too many failed missions, you reach a breaking point. zayne comes to your aid. ⚘tags: sfw, 2nd person POV, gender neutral reader, mental health issues, self-esteem issues, depression, suicidal thoughts, non-descriptive/implied self-harm, mild descriptions of morbid thoughts, hurt/comfort, angst ⚘word count: 2k ⚘a/n: thank you so much for your request, i hope i did it justice! this was a very interesting write and i enjoyed it a lot. i tried to be as delicate and vague with the s/h descriptions as i could so as not to trigger anyone, but this fic still deals with sensitive content so please be safe and take care of yourself! much love 💜
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
This was it. You just couldn’t do anything right.
Another hunting mission had gone poorly. The third in a row, now. They do say all good things come in threes, but could the same be said of misfortune? It certainly seemed so. The first two mission failures had been played off as flukes, but this time…
You made the long trek back to Headquarters with the weight of a tail dragging between your legs, bearing a few cuts and bruises to show for it. Beside you was Tara, who was not quite so worse for wear and, although disappointed, didn’t quite seem to share the same sentiment as you. After all, she hadn’t been the one to let the Wanderer get away. Again.
“Hey, don’t look so down!” she says, in her usual cheerful tone. She pats your arm in an attempt to be comforting. “Can’t win ‘em all, right?”
You give her a look and a frown. “I mean, we should, shouldn’t we? It’s our job, after all.”
“No way! Those Wanderers were tough! I’m amazed we got as far into the Zone as we did!”
But we lost our main target, you thought, yet you held your tongue. There was no changing Tara’s mind once she was set on something. This mission was above her level, anyway, but with every other Hunter either stationed elsewhere or taking a well-deserved break, and Xavier being unreachable as usual, all you had was each other. It had been up to you, as the higher level Hunter, to uphold the team morale and guide you both through a successful mission. But lately, you just kept falling short. Even the most straightforward of missions went awry. Just what was happening?
The entrance doors slid closed behind you as you and Tara headed upstairs for the debrief. Your heart pounded with every step you took. Three failures in a row… Jenna was going to fire you for sure. She might as well do it now, to make space for a newer, better Hunter to take your place and finish your missions properly.
Instead, what came of your debrief was the offering of a week-long break. "Time off to clear your head and refresh," Jenna had said with hard concern, but it might as well have been an arrow to the chest. Just fire me now and get it over with, you thought. Stop wasting everyone’s time and resources and find someone else.
You didn’t need a break. You just needed to be better.
Getting better, however, came with a steep demand you placed upon yourself like a vase upon a pedestal, delicate and teetering. If Jenna wanted to give you another chance, then you would use this week to return to peak performance. You would train, and train, and train, until you were sure to succeed at every mission she threw at you. It was flawless. You’d be back at it in no time.
But as soon as you got off the train and back into your apartment, all you wanted to do was sleep. 
And sleep you did. You slept until you couldn’t think of those missions anymore, and when the thoughts inevitably returned, you slept again.
“You’re not eating enough,” Zayne said during your following check-up later that week. He stated it so matter-of-factly, like he did with any other diagnosis, never looking up from his computer as he typed something. You never knew exactly what. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a break right now?”
“How do you know that?”
“Word gets around,” he said, the beginnings of a smile etched on his face. You didn't like the idea of people knowing things like that so easily. People sure do like to talk... Zayne's hazel eyes lifted from the screen and over at you. “You need to take better care of yourself. Now is as good a time as any to catch up on your body’s needs.”
“I’m fine,” you snapped. Sometimes Zayne needed to mind his own business. Wait, but he was your doctor, and one of your closest friends… What was the matter with you? You really needed to go back to bed and stop being such a nuisance. 
Maybe it’d be better if you got out of his life, too.
You met his questioning expression and the heat of your response drained out of your face. At that, you decided you didn’t want to wait for a reply. Whatever he wanted to say to you with that curious expression of his, you didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t deserve to hear it. You quickly left his office and never looked back. If he called your name as the door to his office slid closed behind you, it went unheard.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
5 missed calls.
Your phone screen blares the message in your face, blinding against the darkness of your room and blurry against the tears that threatened to fall, that had already fallen, that fell and dried and fell again. Your fingers itch to reply, to call him back or send him a text, but what’s the point? He doesn’t really care. He’s probably just going to scold you for leaving your appointment halfway and being childish and not following doctor’s orders and being rude to him.
Not only have you messed up your job, you’re messing up your relationships now, too. When will you ever stop? Can’t it ever stop?
Your phone buzzes and lights up in your fingers as your ringtone sings into your sheets once more. It’s him again. Doesn’t he know when to quit? You watch his name as it waits idly on your screen. It gets tired of waiting, as it always does, and finally disappears. You sigh as another hot tear slips down your cheek.
Something new happens this time.
1 new voicemail, your phone screen reads. You start to slide the notification away, but against your better judgment, and before you can talk yourself out of it, you give in, tap the notification, and listen. 
The line is silent for a moment, and part of you hopes he gave up and left you nothing.
Finally, after what sounds like a throat clearing, he speaks.
“Hey, it’s me,” Zayne’s voice comes through the speaker. It’s got that usual muffled crackly phonecall texture laid onto it, but it sounds enough like him that it feels like he’s right there with you, underneath the blankets. “Are you alright? …Listen. Whatever it was I said, I didn’t mean it. You know that. I was going to ask if you wanted to get dinner, but you left so suddenly. Call me when you’re able?”
The silence creeps in again, and you can almost hear him consider saying something more, can almost see his expression as his thoughts thunder in his brain but refuse to leave his lips, but then there’s a click, and the call ends. The robotic voicemail message drones monotonously about saving the message, and halfway through, you hang up, too.
The back of your throat clenches and burns, and you barely fight back a sob as it wrenches itself out of you. Zayne was worried about you. You made him worry. You thought he was mad, you wanted him to be mad, but he’s not. He cares about you. Why…?
You dig the heels of your palms into your eyes, as if you could push back the sting of tears that rush, hot and salty, from your bloodshot eyes. It hurts, and you start to see flashes of bright white stars under your eyelids, but it’s better than succumbing to the pain in your chest. Your heart shares a galaxy with the stars in your vision, a dying star that’s fizzling out, or maybe even being consumed by the void of a black hole. How morbidly comforting. You suddenly want to rip it out.
You wonder, just how difficult would it be to separate the Aether Core from your still-beating flesh…?
You try to shake the thoughts from your mind but they hold fast. Throwing the blankets off of your body, you leave your room hobbling like a zombie, make a beeline for the kitchen, and pull open a drawer.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It’s late at night when there’s a knock at your door. A slight rap of the knuckles. A sharp one, two. Once, then twice, and on the third knock there’s another sound, too. A rattling jingle. And it’s times like these when you curse yourself for giving Zayne the extra key to your apartment.
He calls out your name as he steps in. You barely hear him. You’re not sure if it’s because he’s far away, or speaking quietly, or if you’re just that far gone into your own thoughts that everything else around you is muted.
He might have called only once, or a dozen times, by the time he reaches your room and spots your hunched figure on your bed. He says your name again, and this time you do hear him. 
You meet his gaze, steeled with concern, and immediately regret it. 
He sees you, really sees you, and all at once your façade crumbles once more. He approaches the edge of your bed, and you turn your eyes anywhere but at him as you brace yourself for impact.
“What are you doing?” he asks, but he already knows the answer.
Zayne grabs your wrist. Yet, his touch is gentle—firm enough to grip you, but soft enough that you could pull away if you wanted. You don't. You’re far too tired to fight anymore. You continue to stare at the floor with teary eyes, but there is resignation hanging heavy on your shoulders, like a wet blanket. Zayne takes your silent compliance as an okay to pull you along with him down the hallway of your dimly lit apartment and into the bathroom.
He sits you down on the toilet. The light clack of the lid hitting the porcelain beneath from your sudden weight seemed to jolt you awake a bit; your eyes refocus and follow his movements as he shuffles through the medicine cabinet. He pulls out a few things and then returns to tend to his patient.
"Hand. Here," he says as he holds out his own. You offer yours, and he meets you halfway. He always does. He’s as meticulous and calm as always as he cleans, disinfects, and wraps your wounds, ever the doctor, but there’s a certain softness in his motions that you’re sure he reserves for only his most cherished patients. 
Only for you.
The thought rolls a warm wave over you, the once wet blanket that had been dragging you down now fresh out of the laundry and wrapped carefully around you, cozy and hot and certain. There’s still a bit of damp spots here and there, but those will also dry in time. And you know Zayne will still be here when that time comes.
Your thoughts are broken when long fingers drag against your cheek, wiping away yet more damp spots and fanning through your shining lashes.
“You need to take better care of yourself,” Zayne says, repeating his words from earlier that day. Was that really only today? This day was lasting a lifetime. As with before, his tone holds no ice. You regret snapping at him when he was only trying to help. He must feel your tension, because he puffs a breath out through his nose just then, and the warm air tickles the hairs on your forehead. He places a kiss there, the barest brush of his lips on your skin. He pushes your hair back with long warm fingers, tucking a strand behind your ear. “If you need help with that, I’m here. Always. You need only ask.”
Later still and he’s tucking you into bed and giving your forehead another gentle kiss, making you feel like a kid again. He’s surprisingly good at that. You don't know how he does it.
Zayne follows you under the covers, and leaves you an open invitation to snuggle against him, if you wish. You gratefully accept, tucking your head under his chin as he envelops you. He’s very careful not to apply pressure to your bandaged skin. 
Right before you fall asleep, he whispers a promise of breakfast tomorrow, and dinner, and whatever else comes next. A promise of staying, no matter what.
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fruitmins · 8 months
Text
Agust Dad—Six
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➭ summary: Your a producer from another company that he happened to be collaborating with on his 2nd album D-2. At the release party— one drunk action leads to another, you do the worst thing you can do in the industry and change your fate forever.
➭genre: short series, pregnancy au, idol au, angst, dad au
➭warnings: time jump (don’t hate me for it), twitter, you kinda pee yourself at the end, panic attack/meltdown, angst, don’t worry there’s at least a little fluff in the beginning, fainting, cliffhanger-ish
<next part>
note: the storm :)
Taglist: @welcometomyworld13 @tatyhend @jiminiesunicorn @littlestarstinyseven @baechugff @thelilbutifulthings @tearykth @familiarlikemymirror3 @coree730 @prajusstuff @wobblewobble822 @choisoorin @manuosorioh @0funsite0 @whipwhoops @bergandysam @aloverga @illnevertrustmyselfagain @silentreadersthings @butterymin @girl-nahh @linneasblog @cuntessaiii @nikkiordonez12 @chl0buggy @serendididy @llallaaa @ghostlyworld @roguesthetic @captainchrisstan @bxcndd @lukeys-giggle
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3 MONTHS LATER
You shifted and turned in the mirror, studying the slight bump that phased through the expensive flowy red dress that Yoongi had convinced you to let him buy.
You weren’t all that surprised. Over the past months Yoongi had been buying the most ridiculous things for you without blinking an eye. Any weird food you wanted, Yoongi would have it in less than thirty minutes.
What you were surprised about was the main reason you wanted the beautiful dress in the first place. Jin had invited you to a party he and the rest of the boys were throwing a party In celebration of a successful Bang Bang Con.
Then he revealed he was going to propose to Harin who like Yoongi, you’d gotten close to over the months. When though you weren’t Yoongi’s girlfriend (even though it was starting to feel like you were) she still thought it would be nice for the two of you to be close.
It shouldn’t have surprised you that he invited you, but somehow it did. No matter how much time you spent with BTS, you couldn’t help but be insecure about how your connection with Yoongi happened. It weren’t proud of it in the slightest, even though Harin has reassured you many times they didn’t judge you.
But still, you had a frown on your face as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You didn’t want the new bump to be all that visible, and you couldn’t help but feel anxious and nervous.
You hear a small knock on the door before it cracks open slightly, revealing Yoongi who was already ready and in a nice black suit that matches his ridiculous long black hair.
Your heart pounds when you see him all dressed up, thinking back to the night long ago that had gotten you into this mess. You can’t help but feel a flutter in your heart, like when you two first met. The warm feeling that flowed in your blood whenever you saw him.
Unlike first time, the feelings were much stronger now. You tired to push away the fuzzy feeling whenever he looked at you these past few months. The way he had gradually opened up to you and cared for you. You chalked it up to just being hormonal, but a part of you had always liked him a bit more than you are supposed to. And it was only getting stronger the times he was away training and at BangBangCon. You felt ashamed how much relief washed over you when they were finished, just over the fact that he could spend time with you again.
You were starting to get stupid and selfish again. Just like that night where you stupid and selfishly gave into him for your own pleasure and enjoyment.
Seeing that you were fully clothed, he stepped more into the room, a small smile on his face as he did so.
You turn away from the mirror to face him fully, gesturing to your dress. “How do I look?” You let out a nervous chuckle, slightly scared of his answer.
He takes a minute to study you fully, looking from top to bottom before finally responding. "Pretty," Yoongi said quietly, standing in the doorway, a small smile on his face as he looks at you. "You look beautiful."
Your heart flutters as you stare at him. Despite everything that's happened, you can't help but feel excited to be here, with him, in this moment.
“You definitely have a pregnancy glow.” He praises again, this time with a little playful chuckle and you turn away from him, praying that you weren’t blushing. “Thanks.”
You mess with your hair once more before grabbing your high heels and sitting in the edge of the bed to put them on. Yoongi is quick to kneel down on his knee to take them from you.
“Can I?” He trails off softly even though he already took them, getting ready to put them on your foot before pausing for a moment. He tilts his head slightly before staring at you for a moment with his eyes wide. "Are you really planning on wearing those?" He says in realization.
You nod immediately, trying to take the shoes away from him. “They go with the dress.” You state in slight confusion. You weren’t that heavy yet.
"I don't think it's a good idea, Y/N." he says cautiously, the concern for your wellbeing evident in his tone but gentle as always.
“They’re the only shoes I have for the occasion. Well flats would work but I don’t have any good ones.” You mumble, mostly to yourself before looking at him with a slight pout while trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. Telling yourself for the millionth time that he was concerned for your baby and not you.
Yoongi can’t help but let out a small amused smile at your pout. "Y/N, I'll buy you the nicest flats you've ever seen, just don't wear those." He says, making a sharp gesture towards the heels he’s holding.
"You're going to be standing for almost the entire night, so wearing heels would be very uncomfortable, and besides, it's dangerous to wear heels when you're this far along in a pregnancy." Yoongi takes a slow breath, his concern for you showing more clearly than back when everything was first happening. Though he was never really hiding it from you.
“You’d buy flats, right now?” You ask, slightly surprised but suspicious. “I don’t want to make us late or have you buy more things for me.”
"Of course.“ he responds without hesitating, even rolling his eyes a little. “I’ll be right back.”
The moment he says this, Yoongi leaves the room and rushes out of the house, leaving you alone in the bedroom as you listen to the door slamming shut.
The moments you wait for him to return are painfully long, and you can hear your own heart beating in your ears. And just as you finish your thoughts, Yoongi walks through the door once again. You immediately look down at his hands, and see two bags in each, with the flats open. You sit up in disbelief. Yoongi really just came back with four new pairs of flats.
"Here they are." he says, handing you bag with a small smile. "I went to a nearby shop and told the shopkeeper to give you all the best ones. I hope they fit." he adds, his tone anxious as he waits for you to put them on.
"Oh my god." you say, shaking your head as you take each pair out. They're all the top design and incredibly stylish, and more importantly, incredibly comfortable looking. You couldn't have asked for a better selection.
Yoongi smiles as you continue to examine the shoes, your heart warmed by his gesture. You try on both on the pairs, both equally as soft and comfy as they looked.
“Thank you so much.” You say, still wide eyed as you picked the best color and design and started to walk around to get a feel. You couldn’t even express how grateful you were for him.
“Alright, let’s go.” You say, catching yourself before you can be overly emotional as the two of you rush out to his car and drive to Jin’s surprise proposal party.
The two of you pile into the car and drive off to the party. Yoongi turns to face you, his eyes filled with concern and worry. "We don't have to stay too late, alright?"
You nod your head, not too upset about it. As long as the two of you end up having a nice evening, you don't mind leaving early.
You arrive at the small spot a moments later. Yoongi does the honors of helping you out of the car as the two of you head inside of the small house that Jin rented.
The two of you walk in and look around the nicely decorated area. As you walk inside, you see that the party is underway. There are streamers hanging from the ceiling, and a table with snacks and drinks set up in the corner. There isn’t a lot of people there either, just BTS and some close family members on both sides.
Jin greets you both with a nervous smile, and you can feel yourself beginning to relax. This seems like it'll be a decent event, and not the tense affair that you were expecting. What helps is that it’s a private party, not a camera in sight and no reporters can see you.
“Yoongi! Y/N! Your here.” He says with a big smile despite being so nervous, giving you each a small hug. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course Jin.” Yoongi says with a small, putting a hand on his shoulders and to try to calm his nerves. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Y/N, honey, you look great.” He says giving you one last night squeezes before leaving you to mingle around.
The rest of BTS come up to greet you and Yoongi as well, feeling slightly nervous when Yoongi leaves to get you and himself something to drink.
The party is lowkey, not upbeat and filled with people speaking on top of each other as everyone mingled.
You happen to spot Harin in the distance from the couch you sat on, so you walk up to greet her. She gasp happily when she sees you, giving you a big hug as the two of you chatted away.
Suddenly, someone touches their glass to get everyone’s attention. You both turn it see all of the members in a small circle. “To a successful BangBangCon. Even though it was online it was still nice to see all of ARMY.” Namjoon started and everyone hummed and nodded in agreement, going along with the facade.
All of the members do a small speech until Jin is the last one. Jin stood up and the lights turn off, leaving the room in darkness.
A few minutes of silence and fake murmuring, Jin's voice cuts through the silence as he now stood in front of his Harin who was next to you. "Harin, we've been through a lot in the past few months. We've been on opposite ends of it all, but one thing remains constant," he says, his voice shaking slightly. “My love for you.”
A faint glow cuts through the darkness as Jin bends down on one knee, holding out a small black box in his hand.
Harin takes a moment to process everything before covering her mouth with her hand.
Jin's eyes sparkle as he looks up at her. "Will you marry me?" he asks, his voice soft yet strong.
Harin is speechless, her eyes widening in shock and surprise. She takes a moment before nodding her head. Tears stream down her face. "Yes, I'll marry you."
The both of them explode into tears, and the room erupts into a joyful celebration. You clap along with everyone else in celebration, your eyes even watering a little as they cried and kissed.
The party after is filled with almost everyone beside you and Yoongi getting tipsy and having fun. Lights now flashing and music now blasting through some speakers.
A little while later you find Yoongi again, happily chatting and congratulating Jin with the rest of the members. You were getting tired and wanted to leave. You were getting a headache from the lights and loud music, and quite frankly your social battery has reached zero quickly after the propose.
You saw him, smiling and laughing with his slightly tipsy younger members and simply didn’t have the heart to interrupt him. You could put up with the party for another hour or two.
But as you walked away from them, Yoongi’s head suddenly turns and meets yours. He takes one look at your face and expression and knows it time leave, so as you walk out you see him excuse and say goodbye to his members before lightly jogging next to you.
“Hey, time to go?” He asked softly, still a small smile on his face from talking with the members.
“No, it’s fine.” You shake your head quickly, wanting him to have more fun. You didn’t want to be selfish once again.
“You look tired. Let’s go home. It’s getting late anyways.” He states nonchalantly before locking your arm and practically dragging you to the car.
He opens the door for you drive home in some comfortable silence, resting your eyes and feeling warm from the nice atmosphere.
The two of you get out of the car, and as soon as you step inside, you go straight to the bedroom. You take off your shoes and lay down in the comfy bed, covering yourself in the fresh blankets.
Moments later you are out like a light but only to wake up in the middle of the night to quickly use the restroom.
You groggily get up, checking your phone to see the time. It’s an hour past midnight and everything in the house is dark and cold.
Your eyes squint as you look at the bright screen, eyes lightly skimming over your notifications. Your eyes brown in confusion when you see a familiar coworker has texted you out of the blue.
‘Y/N, is this you?’
You get a sinking feeling in your stomach looking at the text, slowly opening up your phone to see the attachment with it.
Your face pales and your throat closes in fear when see a screenshot from a video of yourself at the party. Clearly pregnant and stood directly in frame next to Harin who was staring at Jin down on one knee.
Your blood runs cold when you see the screenshot. It's exactly as you guessed it would be: yourself standing next to Harin with a noticeable baby bump.
You freeze in your tracks as an overwhelming sense of panic washes over you. Your heart is soaring at a rapid rate, and you feel like you're going to throw up.
You don't know what to do. You don't know how to handle this situation. But you find your hands shakily downloading twitter again in a heartbeat.
The moment you do the first thing you see is the screenshot had been spreading around the wildfire. You can't believe your eyes when you see the screenshot on Twitter. It's viral, quickly making its way around the platform and receiving an overwhelming amount of attention from both the media and fans.
You feel your heart sinking in your chest as you see your body in the media spotlight in this way, even though it hasn't been confirmed that it's really you.
Sometime after the party, Jin had uploaded his proposal to happily and innocently show his fans, and people had started to notice a pregnant woman in the background.
#RedDress was trending.
WHO IS SHE? was trending.
Thousands of ARMY’s were connecting the dots, putting together that whoever the woman was is Yoongi’s ‘girlfriend’.
Jealous fans are picking apart off every inch of your body, calling you disgusting names all over again just like when the official statement was released. But now ten times worse. Crazy fans were trying to find out your official identity, hoping that it would lead them to Yoongi.
You start to have a breakdown, seeing just how exposed you were now. You were crying, barley even breathing as you felt a sting of pain in your stomach. You felt hot and cold at the same time as your mind got fuzzy and clouded with all types of worry.
Your eyelids start to get heavy, your ability to get out of bed to pee now gone as black dots started to appear.
You glance towards the door, desperately trying to call out to Yoongi who was peacefully asleep in the guest bedroom but you’re so panicked and out of control you can’t even speak.
You start to hyperventilate as the black spots get bigger and your body gives out, the last thing you remember being your head hitting the bed frame as you grew unconscious.
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