#what does he mean by that pace is a dog comment??

[gaymurdersalad]

>That’s…

>… That is wonderful, Asker. I guess you’re coming with me.

>You know, I do suppose it would be nice to have someone I… Tolerate around there. What, with that purple fucking menace looming around every wretched corner of my life. This should be a pleasant change of pace.

>Even if you’re not Dear Henry.

>Let’s Go.

[ VWOOM, TRANSITION SOUNDS, WEEP WOMP, YOU’RE GETTING SUCKED INTO AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION! VWOOOOOOP! ]

>Welcome to paradise, Asker. This is my own abode, where I store the personal arcade cabinet we just entered through.

>Right now we’re in my workshop. I would ask you to hold the aggressive comments on my decor. This is not my favorite place to reside— the house doesn’t even mean that much to me, you see; it was some lousy place my brother lived in before his wife kicked the bucket and he soon followed suit. Anyways, as such, I don’t care for upkeep.

>I really only use this place to enter the Flipside and take my fortnightly nap when this bumbling, wretched curse of a body decides it’s had its fill of lucidity.

>… God, look at me rambling. I get giddy when I’m unbothered.

>I am quite surprised we’ve gone this wrong uninterrupted by that slimy purple wen-

>SP- SPORTSY?

>Oh, oh Sportsy— I was so worried! I was so worried you just went off and forgot about me— I- I’m so glad you’re back, I’ve missed ya so much! I wus— Sportsy, I was so worried you left me for good! I know I been gettin’ on yer nerves, I— But I’d never— Oh, Sportsy, I’m so glad you’re back! I’m s-so sorry for earlier, Sportsy, I swear I’ll— I’ll make it up to ya in any way you want! I’m just so glad you’re back! I won’t make no dumb mistakes like that again— I swear! Just— I can take care of ya, I- I missed you so much! This past hour felt like agony wit’out’cha, Sportsy! I missed you!

>Are ya okay? Did anything happen while you were a’wanderin’? Not a scratch, it seems— That— That bullet wound, I hope ya didn’t move around too much, Sportsy, those bandages look… I- I’m so glad you’re alright, Sportsy, I missed ya! Do you need for anything? Can I getcha some water? Oh, Sportsy, yer eyebags are gettin’ kinda noticeable— When’s the last time you ate? I can— I just went out and got, uhm, some groceries, Sportsy! I’ll cook anythin’ ya want! Sportsy, I’m so glad you’re alright… We should— We should getcha to bed, I know you don’t much like sleepin’, but I swear, I can help ya out— You just seem so tired, Sportsy, I— I can make ya anything you want, I got those ramen noodles I seen ya eat a couple times, and I can cook ‘em for ya no problem! Sportsy, I could make ya some tea Like I remember you drinkin’ wit’ that pink friend a’yours! You’re gonna be okay, Sportsy, I- I missed you so much, Sportsy! I-

>GET OFF OF ME, YOU DOG!

>I- Sp- Sportsy- I’m sorry-

>I don’t care, I don’t care! Don’t touch me you stupid beast!

>Anything! Anything fer you, Sportsy, I’m sorry!

>And quit it with that goddamn nickname!

>… I-

>In fact, just— stop! Stop talking to me, neglect whatever doe eyes you’re about to give me, and shut up!

>…

>Who— Who’s that, in the house, Jack?

[ DAVID IS NOW OPEN FOR ASKS FOR THE NEXT HANDFUL OF POSTS BEFORE HE IS CONDEMNED TO HELL IN HIS WORLD FOREVER! ]

#AKA: he’ll only be available for questions for a certain amount of time! #berate him as you please! #murder salad #gaymurdersalad #salad lore #gaymurderdavid event

[secretaccountlol]

Mission accomplished.

This is smut 18+ <3

Let me know if you want to be apart of my tag-list in the comments <3

Also remember to reblog and comment it always helps

Hello! Y’all requested more sub!peter sooo.

Summary: You are pissed, pissed is an understatement, Peter did the mission without you.

CW: Dom!Reader x Sub!Peter, hair pulling, masochism, sadism, electric massager~, pussy eating, cum eating, Pet names (pretty boy, good boy) , Dom names (mistress and ma’am), degradation ,overstimulation, oh! And Typos <3

I’m going to kill him, is what you thought. You kicked open the door to his room, to see a frantic Peter.

“Oh.. hi sweetheart? Uhm..w-what’s up?” Your eyes narrowed at his sheepish smile. “You know what, Peter.” Your arms crossed, your feet tapped lightly. Your anger boils when you see him simply shrug his shoulders at your questions.

“You went on the mission, without me!”

“Oh.. that..”

“Yeah ‘oh that’” you mocked, “We are a fucking team remember? We’re all we fucking have! You can’t just shit behind my back, that’s not how this works!” You huffed, you were now towering over Peter as he stared at you, you watched as a knot formed in his throat, his eyes softened to pacify you.

“I-I’m sorr-“

“Don’t give a stupid apology you don’t mean, Pete!” Peter’s eyes drift away from yours, without thinking you grip his hair to pull his face up to face yours again, a moan slips through his lips before his face flushes.

“Did you just fuckin’ moan?” You searched his face for answers as he gnawed at his lip, “N-no of cour’ no-“ you tug his hair again, you watch as his eyes close in delight as he groans.

“You’re a little masochist aren’t ya, Pete?” You whisper in delight, you smile as you watch him try to hide his excitement. “N-no! That’s not what..”

“Then what is it? Hm?” Peter was silent, “What? Can’t speak now?” You tug on his hair softly, his only reply pathetic whimper.

“Well Peter, I think you should be punished for what you did today.”

“Punished?”

“Mmhm, do you want that? To be punished?”

“..yes”

“You’re gonna do what I say then, everything I say, Pete.”

Peter nodded, his doe eyes made you warm.

“If you really don’t want to do something or want to stop, say ‘pineapple’ okay?” You gripped his chin to make sure his eyes stayed trained on yours as he nodded once more.

“I need verbal communication, baby boy”

“Y-yes I understand”

“Good boy! On the bed, now.”

Peter’s jittery movements made you want to fuck him right on the spot you bit your lip as you observed him quickly sit on the bed, waiting for his next orders like a dog.

“Strip.”

Peter’s movements are slow, eyeing to see if you’d do the same as you took a seat in the chair he was previously occupying. “A-are you going to-?”

“I don’t question me, Parker. Do what you’re told.” You spit out, and watch as his cheeks flush, his pace speeding up. Soon he’s naked in front of you, twiddling his thumbs as he stares at the ground.

“I haven’t even done anything and you’re already hard? God, you’re pathetic, y’know?”

“I bet you’ve had a hard-on since I started yelling at you, hm?”

“I-I’m not!”

“N-no..t not true.”

“Peter, don’t lie to me.”

Peter’s lips are pressed into a thin line, “Mm, that’s what I thought. Open your legs for me, Pete.”

“Yes, mis-“ The words caught in Peter’s throat, his eyes wide as they stared like he’d been caught.

“It’s okay if ya wanna call me mistress or ma’am, Pete. I don’t mind.”

“Y-yes mistress.” As his legs opened his cock bounced up and tapped his stomach, red and leaking already.

You sit up, sauntering over to him, “Do you want me to touch you?” Your hands ghost over his thighs, making him jump slightly, you chuckle at how sensitive he is.

“Yes.. please. “

“Oh, and he has manners” your hands trace up his thighs all the way to his cock, and your finger pushes down on the tip, Peter whines as his face scrunches. “So so so sensitive.” Your hands slide down his shaft, pumping slowly as you watch his face contorted in pleasure.

“God- that- mmhn!” Peter’s voice cracked, “Coming undone so soon?” His hips stuttered as your hands sped up. “Sh-shut up!” You mockingly gasp, slapping his thigh, hard, earning a hiss from him.

“Tell me to shut up again, I'll make sure you’ll regret it.”

You licked his ear as you spoke, pulling away once you felt him shiver. You hum as you feel his breath grow erratic as he tries to fuck himself faster into your hands. “ Such a fucking pervert, bet you’ve been dreaming of this moment,” Peter whines as you talk, lifting his hips to match your strokes, his knuckles turning white from gripping the sheets. “Please- fuck! Mm- I’m- hnn!”

“Your? Hm?”

“G-gonna c-cu..”

“You haven’t earned it yet, beg and I might let you cum.”

“Please! P-please! M-mistress! I ca-cant hold on much longer- plea-“ Peter’s breath hitched as his movements became sloppier, “I’m sososo..hhnn! I’m so clo-ose!!” Peter’s eyes shut tight as he attempted to speak more.

“Go on, cum.”

“T-tha-mm!Than-..yo-!” Peter’s body shakes before he can properly thank you, his cum comes up in thick ropes covering your hands and his stomach in long lines, he pants as he lays back, trying to catch his breath.

“You didn’t say thank you.” You frown, you stand before walking out the room, Peter can’t be bothered to lift his head, as you come back.

“M-mm s-sorr- for not thankin-ah!” Peter’s cock twitches as your hands stroke his dick slowly. “Pl-mm hold on, it's still sensitive.”

You say nothing as you turn on your secret weapon, Peter’s head perks up as he hears the buzz. “Y-your not-!” You smirk as you inch the massage head closer to his tip. “Lay back down.” You lightly press the vibe to his tip, he squeals his head thrown back.

“M-Mmis- ohh!” His hips pressed into the bed in a failed attempt to move away from the vibration.

“Aww is it too much for you?” You cooed, you pressed the vibe harder into his tip, holding his shaft gingerly. His body tries to jerk away but you keep him trapped with your hands. “Mm-Mhn! Ah-! T-too much..!“ his whines made you turn up the vibration, his breath became shallow as you watch him drift,

“S-ahh..ngh.”

“What’s wrong? Can't take it?”

You snatch the vibe away, Peter’s guttural moans filled the air as he cums, his hands grip the sheets as his whole body spasms. His arms shield his face as he tries to gain his breath back, you take the downtime to get undressed by the time he sits up your naked.

“What? Never seen a girl naked before?”

“I- no! I- I have!” He stammered, “You're just very.. cute”, his hands running up your sides, “Flattering me will get you nowhere, spider..hands to your side.”

“It’s n-not..I’m..not!” his hands squeeze you before resting them by his side, “I-I mean it…”

You smile before climbing on his lap, “Be a darling and help me line myself up with your dick.”

“Y-yes ma’am..” his shaky hands held his dick as his face turned red, you could tell he wanted to touch you again, but couldn’t find the words to ask as you slowly inched down onto his cock.

“Ooh..you’re so big, Pete” you close your eyes as you attempt to lift up again, Peter whines as you move, his hands hovering above your hips. “Mistress!Pleaseplease can I t-touch you! Please!” Peter’s pleading sent dopamine to your brain.

“Mm, S-since, fuck.. you asked so nicely” Peter’s hands grip your hips, hard. As you picked up speed, soon the room was filled with your panting and Peter’s moans.

“You f-fill me so well, Pete. God- I-I’m-“ your hips stuttered as that familiar pressure built in your stomach, “Ah-.. fuckfuckfuck..mm” your ass grinds down his cock as you inch closer.

“M-mi-m-! M-may I…I cum I-in you? please!” Peter babbles as his eyes closed, “Keep your eyes on me, pretty boy.” Your hands lay on his hands as his eyes hang low as they stare at you. “Yeah, t-there we are, g-good boy, ready to cum? H-hm?” Peter’s head nods rapidly, his eyebrows knit together trying to stay focused on your words. You rub your clit furiously as your head tilts back as you cum, “Mm- cum for me, Peter! Hhn-“ you hear Peter whine before sloppily thrusting into you, soon you’re filled with warmth as his semen pumps into you, you both pant catching your breath. You stand up letting his cock and cum fall out of you, before you start looking for your discarded clothes

“I-..can I eat you out?” Peter’s voice is a whisper, you look back at him as he rubs the back of his neck. “You literally just came in me, and you wanna eat me out?”

Peter’s face eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Uhm? Yeah?” His head cocks to the side, you chuckle.

“Who am I to stop you?” You climb back on the bed, laying on your back. His hands slid down your legs as you opened them. “Y-you’re..so gorgeous mm” Peter licks a long stride up your pussy, you shiver groaning. “Oh holy shit, Pete.” His mouth sucks on your clit before sliding through your folds, your hands grip his hair pushing him harder into your pussy.

“Dud-fuck..mm- wh-who knew…hol- sh-!” Your eyes closed as he motorboats your pussy, “Oh-!” His mouth sucks on your clit again as he adds two fingers in your hole, “Fuck! Yesyesyes! Holyshityouresogood-“ Peter groans as you tug tighter on his hair, his fingers pick up speed as you arch back. “Mm- good boy!Yesyes-right the-there..!!” Both of your hand's lace through his hair as you.

“Fuck- I-I’m..hngh..Peter don’t stop-!” You seize as you cum., giving his hair a final pull as he moans into you. He tongues your hole cleaning you out before he pulls away, his face messy pussy juice smeared all over his hands and mouth, makes you horny all over again.

“Did I do good?” Peter’s puppy dog eyes flashed you, you grinned. “You did more than good, c’mere.” You sit up as you pull him into a kiss.

“I-..uhm can we do this again sometime?”

“Oh? Do you really think this was a one-time thing? After that pussy eating you’re never getting away from me”

#tasm!peter parker #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fic #tasm!peter x reader #peter parker oneshot #tasm smut #tasm fic #mcu!peter x reader #spider man x you #spider man x y/n #mcu!peter smut #dom!reader #sub!peter parker #tom!peter parker #tom!spiderman

[whatacaitastrophe]

Everything Has Changed - Chapter 5

Previous Chapter

Chapter Song Inspiration: "Magic" - B.o.B ft. Rivers Cuomo

Chapter Warnings: none

Spotify Playlist: Here

Author Notes: Thank you all so much for reading, reblogging, liking, and commenting on this fic (and the first one)! If you are interested in supporting me in other ways, I have a Ko-Fi link. ya girl has been behind on bills for two months and i've got a dog to feed, and every little bit helps <3

Chapter 5: I've Got The Magic In Me

Gale stared at Astarion in disbelief. “That’s not possible. Are you sure?” 

“Positive. I know what magical blood tastes like; I’ve drunk enough blood from our former enemies to know. Plus, Fallon does have some magical power, even if she prefers a blade. The magic in her blood is faint, though. Yours…it’s strong. Really strong.” 

Gale ran his hands over his face and through his hair. “How is this possible?”

Astarion shrugged. “Didn’t you conjure Tara as a child because your parents wouldn’t let you have a cat?” 

Another wave of surprise washed over Gale, but it was a different kind of surprise. Gale was certain he told his companions that story very early into their adventure together, around the time they met Arabella, in fact. Astarion was the picture of indifference when it came to Gale on a good day. The fact that he remembered at all…Gale was touched. “You remembered that?” 

“Don’t read into it, darling, it’s not every day someone admits they were so petulant as a child that they conjured an extraplanar cat to defy their parents.” Astarion smirked. 

Gale rolled his eyes. “Tara isn’t a cat, she’s a–”

“A tressym , yes, yes, whatever. Did you or did you not conjure her before you had started studying The Weave?”

Gale’s head began to spin. “I need to sit down.” he breathed, his tone becoming a little manic.

“You are sitting down.” Astarion pointed out. 

Right. He needed to do something to make his brain cells begin working again so he could process the information being presented to him, and all it could mean. “This doesn’t make sense ,” He muttered again, to no one in particular as he stood, feet moving of their own accord as he began pacing. “When Mystra severed our connection, it’s not just that I stopped feeling her gaze and The Weave. She took away my knowledge of magic. Like I know I used to do magic. I see you and Fallon cast spells, and somewhere in my mind it registers that I’m familiar with what you’re doing, and recognize it as magic, but all of the technical aspects of replicating it are now foreign to me.”

There were so many layers to this revelation, and Gale’s desire to unpack all of the layers with Astarion, of all people, was very low. If he were being honest with himself, there was even a small part of Gale that resented the fact that Astarion was the one who figured out Gale still had magical abilities, because it meant Astarion could lord it over Gale, if Astarion wished. 

Astarion shifted uncomfortably, as though he wanted to be the person having this conversation with Gale as little as Gale did. “Maybe you should sleep on it,” Astarion suggested hesitantly. “It’s been quite the evening.” 

“Yeah,” Gale breathed, still pacing. “Yeah. I’ll– I’ll sleep on it. We can talk to Fallon about it in the morning; see what she thinks.” 

Astarion nodded and stood from his spot on the log. “Look, I don’t know nearly as much about magic as you do, but I know enough to know that no wizard with zero formal training could have conjured a tressym before even hitting puberty,” Astarion pointed out as he walked towards his tent. He stopped right before entering and turned to look at Gale. “Surely the fact that magic came so naturally before Mystra appeared to you means something.”

“Right. Right.” Gale said quietly to himself as Astarion disappeared. “Sleep is good. Sleep will clear my mind, and then I can make sense of this.” 

Gale did not sleep. On the contrary, he tossed and turned until the sun broke across the horizon. He still had magic in his blood; strong magic, even, if Astarion was to be believed. Perhaps that was part of why Gale was having such a hard time hearing this news: the one to deliver it wasn’t exactly someone he trusted, or could really even call a friend anymore. On the other hand, precisely because they were not really friends, Astarion had no motivation to give Gale any sort of false hope by lying.

Mystra, on the other hand, had every reason to lie to Gale; to make him believe from the start that the only way for him to access magic was through her. It all went back to his theory about the Karsite Weave, how controlling it and becoming a god was his true destiny. Mystra was quick to shut that line of thought down, to threaten him should he try to go through with his plans… had she known that he didn't need her to use magic, that he’d always possessed the innate ability? Even now that his connection to her was severed, Gale still felt the guilt lingering in his chest as he silently accused Mystra of something so severe. She wasn’t even his goddess anymore, and yet Gale still felt his thoughts to be sacrilegious. He scowled to himself, frustrated that Mystra still had that effect on him. 

He remained in his tent until he heard the sounds of someone else moving about the camp. Gale dressed quickly and went to greet them, hopeful that it was Fallon who was moving around so he could talk to her about this entire situation. Fallon was the only person Gale wanted to discuss it with, if he were being honest with himself. When he was met with the sight of Astarion, protected from the dawn rays in his now-typical head to toe all black attire, Gale did his best to suppress the disappointment that filled his chest.

“How’s Fallon?” Gale asked as he approached to rummage through their supplies at the center of their camp for breakfast items. Normally he and Fallon ate lighter in the mornings, sticking to fruit and maybe a bit of toast, but the elf needed to regain her strength, and Gale would force her to eat a hearty breakfast if he had to. 

“She’s awake– moving slower than usual, but awake.” Astarion replied, relief shining in his eyes from under the hood. Gale nodded in approval, feeling the same way. 

Arabella was next to emerge for breakfast and demanded to cook for them all, forcefully pushing Gale away from the campfire as she set to work.

“I thought we were even.” Astarion teased, and Arabella shook her head. 

“We will be after this meal, so just shut up and let me work.” She demanded, and Gale exchanged looks with Astarion, both men shaking their heads with exasperation. Her attitude reminded Gale of Fallon: determined to help whether or not you asked, and you were going to accept her help whether you liked it or not. Pride swelled in Gale’s chest. He’d always thought Fallon would be a good mother– her influence on Arabella was just proof of that. 

Fallon finally made an appearance as Arabella finished plating their breakfast, a bright smile on her face as she joined them all around the campfire. “This smells great, LaLa.” Fallon complimented, using the old term of endearment she’d coined for Arabella once upon a time. 

Arabella rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Gods, I’d forgotten about LaLa .” 

Gale squirmed in his seat as he picked at his breakfast, his racing mind and lack of sleep made him not terribly hungry. It probably would have been more tactful of him to wait until Fallon had at least half a mug of coffee before filling her in, but Gale’s anxiety wouldn't let him be silent that long. 

“It’s not often I’m at a loss for words, but uh, something….strange happened last night after the two of you went to bed.” Gale started. 

“Oh we’re doing this now .” Astarion quipped. 

“Doing what now?” Fallon asked, her brow furrowed. 

“Astarion, would you like to explain, or shall I?” Gale asked nervously, wringing his hands. “Actually no, you explain it, because I’m still trying to understand it.” 

“Why do I feel like you’re about to tell us you kissed or something?” Arabella joked and Fallon looked alarmed, her head snapping towards Astarion as she waited for an explanation. 

Gale’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink. “Erm, no. That’s— that’s not what happened.” 

“Did you almost kiss? You’re blushing, so I had to—“

“LaLa, let them speak ,” Fallon chastised. “What happened, Astarion?”

Astarion sighed heavily, making a mental note to tease Gale for blushing later. “Last night, Gale offered to let me drink from him on the days I don’t feed on you, and, given that it would be beneficial to all of us for me to be at my strongest—especially after last night— I agreed to his offer,” 

Astarion carefully left out the part where he and Gale agreed that this arrangement was necessary for Fallon’s protection, as Astarion was still of the mind that his lover would not be happy about it if she knew the true reason. 

“When I did, though, I tasted magic in Gale’s blood. A lot of magic.”

Fallon’s jaw went slack, and she set down her half-empty plate. “But Mystra took his magic.”

“Can we all please stop bringing that particularly painful point up?” Gale sighed. 

“Mystra took your magic? Shit, Gale, I’m so sorry. What did you do?” Arabella gasped, and Gale ran his hand over his face, sighing again. 

“A story for another time, little one.” Gale explained. 

Arabella pouted and opened her mouth to argue, but she closed it again when she made eye contact with Fallon, who shook her head at the teenager. 

“How?” Fallon asked. 

“I have a theory.” Astarion answered. 

“And that is…”

“Gale’s not a wizard.”

“You think he’s a sorcerer?” Arabella chimed in, and Astarion nodded. Fallon raised her eyebrows in surprise, and Astarion watched as she did the mental gymnastics to figure out if his theory had any merit. 

“You know… it would make sense… it would certainly explain the Tara of it all…” She mused.

“I said the same thing.” Astarion agreed. 

“Except that I don’t even know how to test this theory of yours, so we may never actually find out.” Gale replied, still stunned at the idea he could still have magical powers. 

Astarion gave Gale a wry stare. “Yes, how could we possibly find out if you still have the ability to do magic? Certainly not by trying to perform magic, that’s just out of the question.” 

Arabella snorted with laughter, but quickly stopped once she saw Fallon’s glare. “Sorry.” She apologized quietly. 

Gale blinked “...right. Well, I suppose I could give it a try? A simple dancing lights cantrip wouldn’t hurt anyone.” Gale stood up and shook out his arms and hands, as though trying to warm himself up after not having done magic of any kind in almost a month. 

“Take your time, Gale.” Fallon encouraged him gently. 

Despite himself, Astarion couldn’t help but reach for Fallon’s hand and grip it with his own hopefully. Having a sorcerer on their side would be extremely helpful, especially once Gale learned how to use the magic properly. Assuming he truly had it to begin with. 

Gale looked at Arabella sheepishly. “I may need you to remind me of the incantation.” 

Arabella happily stood up and walked over to Gale, walking him through the motions and repeated the incantation. Once Arabella was sitting back on the log (and out of harm’s way, in case things went poorly), Gale closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and went through the movements Arabella showed him. He spoke the incantation quietly, not confidently, as though he was afraid it would fail. Afraid of disappointment. 

Only,... it didn’t. 

Suddenly, there were four distinct orbs of light glowing around Gale, waiting for his bidding. Gale opened his eyes, a look of shock on his face. Then, slowly, the look turned to one of elation as his eyes darted from Astarion, to Arabella, then landing on Fallon. “Are you seeing this? Elminster’s pants, I’ve done it! I– I can still do magic!” 

Arabella cheered, and Fallon looked as though she might cry. Astarion beamed beneath his face covering. “I knew it. Gale, you’re not a wizard. You never were– you’re a sorcerer .” 

“A sorcerer. My goodness, I never would have thought. I wonder what else I can do?” Gale dismissed the orbs of light and began to focus again. This time, he went through the familiar motions of casting Fire Bolt (easy to remember from watching the elves cast it recently) and aimed for the tree line. Gale bellowed the incantation and a bright burst of flame shot from his hands and flew through the air. Gale cheered with Astarion and the others, but the celebration only lasted a moment. In a single instant a different type of magic materialized, and whizzed towards Astarion, hitting him squarely in the chest. 

The world around the vampire began to twist and contort, and suddenly he was looking up at Gale, and the sorcerer was standing over him like a giant. Gale stared at Astarion in shock, but his expression very quickly turned into one of mirth, before laughing uncontrollably. Moments later, Arabella was cackling so hard she fell off the log, and Fallon’s face was contorted in a mix of amusement and pain as she desperately tried not to laugh, likely due to her healing abdomen wound. 

“What the devil have you done to me?” He demanded, but it was not his voice he heard when addressing Gale. It was a series of angry meows. Astarion looked down at his hands, and they were not his. They were white, fluffy paws. It seemed that not only was Gale a sorcerer, but he was a wild magic sorcerer. 

And he’d unintentionally turned Astarion into a cat.

Chapter List

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale #astarion #bg3 fanfic #female tav #astarion x female tav #astarion x tav #astarion x gale x tav #bloodweave #astarion x gale #bg3 fan fic #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 fan fic #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction

[chaoticbardlady99]

Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me

(Spawn! Astarion x F! Ghost Reader)

Chapter 8: A Brief Intermission

CW: Mentions of voyeurism

Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. I did take the picture of ‘Birdie’ and Astarion on my PS5

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for all your support and love!

(The fun stuff is next)

Chapter 7 : Chapter 9 : AO3

  Astarion walks up the steps to Gale’s tower- finally well fed and some of his aggression burnt out. The contract hadn’t been the hunt he was anticipating, but thankfully there was a group of unlucky bandits just outside the city walls.

  He had considered staying out all night- just clear his head- but he couldn’t stop thinking about you and how he just wanted to be next to you again already so here he is- like a kicked dog who will never be worthy of you. 

 He knows he’s only prolonging the inevita-

“You utter moron!” 

  Tav stands in the entrance way in her slippers and the dorkiest pair of pajamas Astarion has ever seen. He’s glad she rejected him so long ago- her and Gale were truly made for each other. 

 “Wh- what!?” He sputters, “what did I do!?”

“ALONE TIME!” She yells while throwing her hands in the air, “ALONE TIME, ASTARION!”

  Astarion can’t help the perplexed look on his face. Alone time? What the hells does that mean?

“What in the wretched hells are you talking about!?”

“You don’t get to cry about how much you loveeeee Birdie and how she could never possibly want you when SHE DOES! And THEN YOU GO AND SCREW SOMEONE IN A BROTHEL AND PUSH HER AWAY!?” 

  Ohhhhhhhhh- alone time. I probably should have- wait, she does?

 “I-“

“She moved out of your room- by the way. Or at least she’s trying to,” Tav shakes her head, “I tried to convince her otherwise but her suggestion was then to go to a Tavern or Hostel which I figured you would not be happy about.

“But she feels humiliated! For Gods’ sake Astarion- she played all of your favorite songs in front of a crowd of people putting in requests? That is a Bard’s love language!!!!!!!! How are you not seeing it!? It’s like reading a romance novel about two idiots who just need to have a conversation!”

  This is… a lot of new information at once. He didn’t realize playing the songs he liked was intentional and meant for him to see that you have feelings for him or that you have had feelings for him this entire time.

“TARA EVEN USED TO TEASE HER ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!” 

  Tav is acting like it’s the end of the Gods damn world; Astarion supposes he did put her in a really really weird spot. 

 “I didn’t know.”

  Tav sighs heavily and pinches her brow, “look- I know you didn’t know, but I think you should talk to her before she’s allowed to sleep on her decision overnight. I doubt that will help the situation.

“And I don’t know how much longer my spell on her bag is going to last- she is still trying to drag it out of the room.” 

  He bids Tav a good night and begins the walk up the stairs.

“Oh for fucks sake,” you curse under your breath, “how did this bag get so heavy all of a sudden- or am I just- weaaAKKKK-“

 *THUD*

“GODS DAMMIT!”

  Astarion watches as you try to pull your massive bag around the corner and proceed to fall on your back- hitting the ground defeated. 

  You take a shaky breath before getting back up. You’re crying and you look- well, heartbroken. Oh great, now he’s trying not to cry. Astarion isn’t sure he likes this whole, “being in love thing,” he has never been so emotional about another person’s feelings in his entire life. 

  He needs to come up with a way to amend this and fast. 

“My darling,” his voice barely above a whisper, “please don’t leave our room.” 

 You jump about five feet in the air- definitely not expecting him to be there. When you finally do acknowledge him- all he sees is hurt. 

  Remember- she has feelings for you and you for her. Just breathe and act like nothing has changed, then go at your own pace until you are sure, Astarion thinks to himself, slow, slow, slow. I need to make sure Tav is right before I blow up our entire relationship on one bad assumption.

“I- I think it would be best if I moved rooms,” you say, avoiding his eyes, “I….”

  You are fidgety and uncomfortable- you blink and just stare down at your shoes. Astarion wants to break the silence, but he can’t. He wouldn’t even know where to start, but maybe reassuring you would help?

“I wasn’t with anyone else,” he says clearly, “I went hunting- I wanted to head back as soon as I was done.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to get back to you, of course.” 

  You look hopeful- wiping away the stray tears.

“Oh.”

 There is far too much space between you both right now and Astarion amends this problem.  He engulfs you in a massive hug- holding you tightly to him. If Tav is right, it will be a miracle, but for now? He will begin making small steps in that direction. The wedding is three days from now. Maybe he can plan a date before then? That would be doable- maybe? He’s going to have to ask Tav for advice tomorrow.

  “Now,” he says with a soft smile and a teasing tone, “can I please help you get your pack back into our room?”

  You nod quietly and follow Astarion into the room. He sets your bag down and begins unpacking it- putting everything back in its proper place. 

  You are sitting against the headboard- tapping a book with your fingers nervously. He discards his armor- cleaning himself off in the bathroom as quickly as he possibly can and then joins you. 

  Except he decides to be a little more bold. 

  Astarion straddles you from behind- your body slotting perfectly in between his legs and he hesitantly wraps his arms around your waist. He places his head on your shoulder and peers at the book. You are relaxed against him- the tension in your shoulders melts away and your tears are now completely dry. A sigh of relief leaves your lips- you must have been very worked up. It’s usually Astarion sighing, not you. 

 “Is that our new book?”

  It looks awful- you must read it.

 “Well- here’s the thing,” you say sheepishly, “I tried reading the first few chapters, but it’s honestly kind of terrible. It’s some book about a man who falls in love with a Bhaalspawn, but it’s basically really in descriptive, poorly written torture porn from the bit I’ve also skimmed through.”

“You depraved, little freak,” Astarion teases, he can feel you blush even more from the way your blood races in your neck, “I didn’t think you had it in you!” 

“Oh, I don’t, but the main character certainly does.”

                   *******************************

   Tav eavesdrops from her and Gale’s balcony- those two lovesick fools kept a window open and she was able to use her magic to listen in. 

 Tav had absolutely no idea how to handle the situation earlier. She knows, Gale knows, Tara knows, and even the general fucking public seems to know that Astarion and Birdie are head over heels for one another. 

  She can even hear it in the way he’s laughing at something Birdie said just now. 

  Astarion is her closest friend and she is thrilled to see him so happy, but so so frustrated that he won’t just say something. They could be having a romantic moment right now instead of giggling like a couple school girls in their room- AGAIN!

 “Any hot gossip?” her favorite person asks, “or are we accidentally engaging in voyeurism for once?” 

  Gale is suddenly squished up against Tav- his ears straining to hear what Astarion and Birdie are saying to each other. 

  Gale has been equally as invested- to the point where he would prefer to feel uncomfortable trying to ignore the sounds of love making than continue to watch this painful dance between the two of you. 

“Unfortunately, no voyeurism,” she shakes her head, “I really thought he would FINALLY say something, but NO! It’s back to normal as if she hadn’t just tried to move into another room or that he just found out she’s in love with him!

“He is hopeless! I am going to have to enlist Karlach and Shadowheart to get this ball finally rolling.”

“Why not Wyll and Halsin?” Gale frowns, “or me- your wonderful, genius fiancée?”

 “Oh, my Heart,” Tav kisses him sweetly, “this is a women only kind of job- Astarion isn’t going to listen to you three.”

“I suppose that is- HEY!” Gale exclaims, “HE WOULD LISTEN TO ME!!!!!“

“LOVE- NO HE WOULDN’T-“

  “WHY ARE YOU GUYS SCREAMING UP THERE!?”

  Tav and Gale peep over the edge- Astarion is glaring up at them through the window with the hatred of a cat that was woken up from a nice nap. 

 “Uh hm, we- we,” they look at each other in a panic, “WE ARE ARGUING ABOUT WHO IS GOING TO BE A BETTER DANCER DURING OUR FIRST DANCE!”

 “TAV,” you yell from inside the room, “GALE HAS TWO LEFT FEET!”

 “I DO NOT HAVE-,” Gale scoffs and throws his hands in the air, “you lot are insufferable!”

  Tav giggles as Gale 'angrily’ storms off and her heart is warm from the laughter below. She could not be more excited to become Gale’s wife. Hopefully her dumbass friends figure it out before then.

  Maybe it’s better to just let them figure it out in their own time or maybe, just maybe, Tav can whip up some wedding day magic and it will be so damn romantic that they will be forced to reveal their feelings. 

  Or she could just find a way to make Astarion jealous. 

Jealousy or romance?

  Jealousy, that’s probably the best course of action since blatantly telling him didn’t.

  Halsin would be very good at that- he is probably the only one out of all of you that Astarion would be worried about, but Astarion also thinks you deserve someone more like Wyll or Karlach- fun, easy going, knightly. So she isn’t sure. Maybe use all of the above?

  Maybe if he could see you reject them- he might pull his head out of his ass and realize you only want him.

***********************************************************************

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)

Tag List: @n3rdybirdee @fandomarchiveilyd @dajeong @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @bitchstarion @hereliesblackdragon @pebble-bb @preciouslittlebhaalbae @lavvyan @beepersteeper

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x tav #astarion romance #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #astarion x you #karlach #astarion x f! reader #astarion x f!reader #astarion x f!tav

[no-mercy-bby]

may i request and eddie munson blurb where reader is the class president or sumn and eddie being absolutely smitten for her🙈 idk i just like the idea of him being the no. 1 supporter of his girlboss gf

Oooh, Naylo, you are so right! He'd be so in love tbh

[Light anxiety, possibly ooc Eddie, tooth rotting fluff, also I imagine Eddie is like 6 foot five- hope this helps]

M'Lady

As class president, it was your duty to represent the entirety of the senior student body. It was also your duty to help encourage and inspire all students. It was your kind and caring heart that stole the vote; much to a certain jock's dismay. So at Hawkins high school's class of 1986 senior pep rally it was required that you give a speech or at least a comment.

Currently you were pacing back and forth outside the gym doors and trying to think of the perfect words to say. It wasn't like you'd graduated high school before and knew what happened after. In a way, it was scary not knowing what to expect after so many routine years of school, summer, school, etc.

"M'lady?..." His voice was behind you, teasingly singsonging that ridiculous nickname he insisted upon after you won the election," You'll wear a hole into the floor if you keep pacing like this."

"I hope so," You murmur and turn around to face Eddie, "Maybe then I won't have to speak in front of everyone."

Eddie obviously tries not to laugh, really he does, but a chuckle escapes him as he tenderly tugs you into a hug. His arms weave themselves around your waist, and you relax in his hold, resting your head against his chest as he sways you the slightest bit.

"You've never been scared to speak your mind before, what's the difference now, princess?" Eddie was lovingly concerned, which was evident as his chest quietly rumbles with the question, and if you were any further from him you wouldn't have heard it. Eddie carefully leans his cheek against your head, as his ring clad fingers trail up and down your spine. The gesture was so soothing, so you can't help but melt even deeper into his chest.

"I don't know what to tell them, I mean, everyone. I don't know." You sigh, fingers fidgeting with a pin on his lapel. It was still new, still a nice shiny gold color except for the bold red letters of 'Zelda'.

"Sweet girl," Eddies hums, leaning back and turning his head to affectionately kiss the crown of your head," You're over thinking this. Just say what you want to hear, and all that other encouraging bullshit."

"Wow, you have such a way with words, Munson." You huff out a laugh, and snake your arms around his neck, tilting your head back to look up at him. Eddie's smirk was cheeky, his dimples curving lines into his cheeks, as he looks down at you.

"Mhm, I know," Eddie shifts on his feet, leaning into you as he presses his forehead against yours," You look so hot today."

You roll your eyes fondly while he chuckles then dips his head down to kiss you. Eddie's lips were soft as usual, moving gently but purposefully against your own, as his strong hands grip your hips. However, Eddie started doing that thing where his thumbs massaged little circles into your hipbones. You hum into his mouth and he starts grinning again, pulling you impossibly closer to himself.

"I can't kiss you when you smile like that."

"Says the one moaning in the hallway." Eddie exaggerates a little too loudly, and his grin grows cocky as you lightly shove at his shoulders.

"You're the one grinding on me, freak." You tease him back, but his cocky grin doesn't go anywhere.

"You love me." Eddie insists as his nose brushes against yours, and his doe brown eyes now give you love sick puppy dog eyes.

"I do." You giggle at him, and move to kiss the half-hearted pout off his lips before trying to pull away so you can give your little speech to all the seniors.

"Eddie, you have to let me go."

"Mmm... I don't think so, m'lady."

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #i wrote da #for you naylo <3

[marta-bee]

Good Omens reading time. :-) 

Young Warlock and Adam are finally eleven, or nearly. The time for nannies and tutors and satanic nuns and what-not is past. The Hellhound approacheth. And let me tell you, if things had to get so colossally mixed up it’s damned lucky (or something in any case) that they got mixed up in precisely this way. 

See, if you’ve only seen the miniseries you’d be excused for thinking Warlock is a charmingly normal preteen boy. He likes his video games. He tells charming little stories in a lisp about how the gardener says he must always be careful not to hurt slugs. He’s bored with his mother and really would have preferred teenage mutant ninja turtles or some such rather than magicians for his birthday, but he’s basically a normal boy his age. Which he is in a way, at least for his family’s being so rich and privileged. And that’s precisely the problem, isn’t it?

"You, my fine jack-sauce. Come here. Now, if you inspect your breast pocket, I think you might find a fine silk handkerchief."

"Nossir. 'Mafraidnotsir," said the guard, staring straight ahead.

Aziraphale winked desperately. "No, go on, dear boy, take a look, please. "

The guard reached a hand inside his inside pocket, looked surprised, and pulled out a handkerchief, duck-egg-blue silk, with lace edging. Aziraphale realized almost immediately that the lace had been a mistake, as it caught on the guard's holstered gun, and sent it spinning across the room to land heavily in a bowl of jelly.

The children applauded spasmodically. "Hey, not bad!" said the pony-tailed girl. Warlock had already run across the room, and grabbed the gun.

"Hands up, dogbreaths!" he shouted gleefully. The security guards were in a quandary.

Some of them fumbled for their own weapons; others started edging their way toward, or away from, the boy. The other children started complaining that they wanted guns as well, and a few of the more forward ones started trying to tug them from the guards who had been thoughtless enough to take their weapons out.

Then someone threw some jelly at Warlock.

The boy squeaked, and pulled the trigger of the gun. It was a Magnum .32, CIA issue, gray, mean, heavy, capable of blowing a man away at thirty paces, and leaving nothing more than a red mist, a ghastly mess, and a certain amount of paperwork.

Aziraphale blinked.

A thin stream of water squirted from the nozzle and soaked Crowley, who had been looking out the window, trying to see if there was a huge black dog in the garden.

Aziraphale looked embarrassed.

Then a cream cake hit him in the face. It was almost five past three.

This is a child with no real concept of consequences. He and his friends (or guests, at least) aren’t precisely bad, they’re eleven and clearly haven’t spent much of those eleven years learning a thing or two about consequences. So when a gun pops out by accident, their first instinct is to go “Cool!” Warlock reaches out and grabs it; a lot of his guests try to unarm their own guards so they can have the same.

I tell you, 23 years post-Columbine, this whole scene just hits differently. The girl’s comment (forgive the slur; this is a quote) that Aziraphale was “rubbish, and probably a faggot” has a different impact too. But I’m old enough to remember the slur bit was definitely learned behavior, that while there was certainly very serious homophobia in the world, not everyone used language like that quite so casually. This is something that girl has heard from the adults in her life, she knows it’s meant to hurt, but she sees no reason not to sling it around so casually. Because for her there isn’t. She has a thought, she does it. And similarly for Warlock: he sees a gun, goes “cool!”, grabs it up, gets surprised by a bit of flying jelly, and pulls the trigger.

Today we have a word for this: affluenza. I don’t think I’d have known it if I read Good Omens back when it was published. And this was pre-Brock Turner and so many others like him, so I don’t think I would have been as attuned to how dangerous it really is. Even now, I’m more likely to view this as people being deeply damaged by the system that enables them more than being really bad people, even though the solution has to be more responsibility and consequences, not less. I pity them, up to a point at least, even as I hate the thought of them going unpunished for the harm they cause.

But just think of an eleven-year-old Brock Turner being the actual antichrist. What a bullet to have dodged! (If you’ll pardon the pun.) Thank Someone. And what a chilling realization to realize just how many of these kids grow up to have that same power to shift reality to their whims. Though arguably that’s a big part of the point.

Moving on to Adam, he really does strike me as this decent, normal kid. Not particularly good or bad, just normal like I and my friends were at eleven. And it strikes me he’s surrounded by actual individuals. Wensley, who “all that separated this voice from chartered accountancy was a matter of time.” Pepper, so attuned to sexism and fairness who we later learn was raised on a hippie commune. They bring their own bits and emphases to this normal act of play; I don’t remember that we were ever even given a name for any of Warlock’s guests. And that strikes me as important. Adam, for all his untapped power, isn’t used to thinking of himself as the only one that matters.

Aside from all that, though, there’s just great fun writing throughout this section, generally, but this is probably my favorite:

There was a thoughtful pause. The hound slunk closer, and realized that the voices were coming from a hole in the ground.

The trees in fact concealed an ancient chalk quarry, now half overgrown with thorn trees and vines. Ancient, but clearly not disused. Tracks crisscrossed it; smooth areas of slope indicated regular use by skateboards and Wall-of-Death, or at least Wall-of-Seriously-Grazed-Knee, cyclists. Old bits of dangerously frayed rope hung from some of the more accessible greenery. Here and there sheets of corrugated iron and old wooden boards were wedged in branches. A burnt-out, rusting Triumph Herald Estate was visible, half-submerged in a drift of nettles.

In one corner a tangle of wheels and corroded wire marked the site of the famous Lost Graveyard where the supermarket trolleys came to die.

If you were a child, it was paradise. The local adults called it The Pit.

If you know your Bible, you might perk up at that name. It was a kind ofmetaphor for Sheol, which most of us would connect with Hell (not 100% accurately, but also not entirely wrong either). For Adam it’s a paradise of sorts, and the weird thing is he’s not wrong. I would have loved to build forts and poke at slugs with sticks in a bit of wilderness just like this.

The bits about the dog are brilliant, too, but scattered about and hard to quote to give you the full effect. You should really read them if you have the book, though. They definitely left me smiling. Though I’m not 100% at ease. A Hound is still a Hound, after all, even if he now answers to Dog.

#good omens #book omens #marta rereads good omens

[boygun]

My part for the trade with @imjustabeanie

Okay, so you’ve given me quite a task. Finally, I’ve settled on one. I fell asleep typing so I’m posting this now instead of last night. Second place belongs to Vox, but that’s a differed story. As for the official verdict, I match you with…

Lucifer! He strikes me as a guy who’d give you plenty of space but would definitely care. In his own way. Sometimes, he’s not all that great with words, but he’d try to show you that he cares (even if he can't always be around either because of his duties or depression-) with gifts and doing things for you. Not in a babying you. And he’d treasure every single thing you give him. It could be the weirdest thing, but we’ve seen this man’s house - putting your craziest gifts up on display won't make the aesthetic any more whack with those ducks around.

In my opinion, the N/S mbti dynamic works well and he has some S vibes. That sort of thing gives the relationship balance without being too contrasting.

And, please, your cold demeanor and irony matched with the King of Hell who’s this warm, enthusiastic guy is iconic. When people hear about you two, they assume they should be cautious of him. Then they meet him and he’s literally just a guy. But the second they say some bullshit he just lets you go at them and obliterate them verbally. That's when they find out they were intimidated by the wrong person. True scary dog privileges.

For the most of the show he’s put in a pretty compromising position where he can't do much for his loved ones (mainly Charlie), but you are bound by no deal. Go, get those Exorcists! A real power couple.

Though his bluntness is expressed in a different way from yours I feel like that shared trait could be one of the things that connect you two. Like, sometimes he needs to hear your deadpanned comment to get himself together.

Sometimes, he can be all over the place when he feels like he’s been put in a tough spot, but don’t dread him coming to you all whiny and helpless. His dread is his to know and he usually deals with it in private. What he does come to you finally, it’s usually for levelheaded advice and normal discussion.

Your curiosity woks well with his an his creative soul definitely fuels it. Not only does he know a lot (he was around for a long time, come on; also asking questions is kind of his thing, much to his detriment) but he enjoys having someone to recount some stories to. And the way you detailed how you cannot stand failure paired with him being so tied (at least in actual religion) to Pride is kind of nice as a concept. Like, a running theme I guess? I mean, would be cool in the show, you know.

This man is a disaster when it comes to dealing with negative feelings and I’m a firm believer that having someone to relate to you is way better than the whole ‚I can fix him’ thing. So you guys could just communicate at your own pace and it would be nice not to have that other person pressuring you to just ‚open up and be vulnerable☺️🌸’ like it’s something everyone should do with ease and pleasure.

And this man has the craziest True Crime stories, you can’t convince me otherwise. Don’t put on a podcast, let him talk and enjoy your evening. He’s seen wild things and has no issue with recounting them.

If you’re up to it, he’d definitely get you into doing some inventions/projects together, even if you just ‚fuck around and find out’ he would find it rather charming to have another perspective. Just spend some time with him and play around in his work space (not really sure what that room is at this point, but there is a ton of equipment on the walls, so it could double as some sort of study). You could even just draw alongside him while he works on his ducks. And he would love it if you ever wanted to make a project for him of a duck. The man would make it in SECONDS I swear. He’d find your little ‚collab’ so cool.

Additional he knows how to deal with loneliness without giving you any pity, he’s been there, he knows things suck sometimes and he’s far from overbearing about it.

Sure, Lucifer might be ‚nice’ but he’s THE King of Hell. If you told him about that DNA-related dream of yours ethics wouldn’t be much of a concern, he’d try to help you to figure it out. I mean, he might be a little reluctant about making more humans, cause like, from his experience there’s one out of three chance it will be a disaster. But cloning isn’t technically the same as creation, so it should be fine? That’s yours to find out!

#not me shitting on my fave with that 1/3 bit #love my man but Lucifer would probably be careful with your experiments #SOLELY because of how Adam turned out #also I don’t think it’s immoral I guess the only thing ppl would be judgy abt is that it could end in like #ppl using it for eugenics??? like cloning the ‚right’ people so that they can get rid of the kinds of ppl they dont want living on earth #additional but if this was also about HB I would put you with Stolas SO FAST #additionally I kinda see those two as like. same person different font. so it works in my mind

[frostbeees]

we'd still worship this love

2023 wrappedmas day nine • song: fasle god by taylor swift

ao3 • masterpost

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Brendan does always love to give him an out. “Or do you wanna–” Brendan nods his head towards Thom’s bedroom.

“What do you mean ‘this’ is too much?” Thom spits, stopping in his tracks and yanking Brendan back toward him. “I’m too much? Is that it?”

“Bordy, babe, you know that’s not what I said,” Brendan’s voice is full of desperation but it just makes Thom feel even more incensed. 

He had this whole day planned. They had gotten lucky and Henderson flew in a day earlier than usual, leaving Brendan with a full day off after his quick morning team meeting and Thom intended to take full advantage of that. He booked them a table at his favorite brunch spot– even splurged for the bottomless mimosas– and then they headed south to the Boardwalk for the rest of the day. The weather was perfect, chilly enough that he was able to snag the extra hoodie that Briss brought for him, but no rain.

But then it went south, fast, and Thom doesn’t even know how. They were walking along, hand in hand in the California anonymity and talking about a cute dog they had just passed and then Thom commented on missing his dogs and how they should get a dog together and that somehow turned into Brendan shutting down, dropping Thom’s hand, and saying that maybe that was “too much”. 

“I didn’t mean that like, we should get a dog,” Thom’s voice is low, guarded. “Not together.” Maybe that is what he meant but he’s going to stand on this lie. 

“Is this really about a dog?” Brendan asks as they keep walking down the pier, looping around the end and making their way back to Thom’s car. “Or is this still about the last time you guys came to Henderson? Because I fucking swear dude, I tried to get away from the team shit but every time someone pulled me into something else and I knew you wouldn’t want me rolling up to your hotel at midnight.”

Thom doesn’t answer, just matches Brendan’s pace and directs them when needed. Maybe it’s childish to give Brendan the silent treatment, especially when their time together is so limited lately. But the ‘too much’ comment struck a nerve. It’s not the first time in his life he’s been told that. Hell, it’s not even the first time he’s heard it from Brendan. It’s always ‘You care too much’ or ‘You’re doing too much for me’. Like that’s a bad thing. Thom can’t help but put everything he has into the things he loves, the people he loves. 

Brendan must pick up on it because he stays quiet, too, through the rest of the walk to the car and then he barely says anything on the drive back to Thom’s place, just a stray comment about some road sign or weird-looking building. But Thom knows it won’t last– Brendan can’t help but pick at things or, well, probably try to fix them. And he does break, as soon as Thom ushers into his apartment and shuts the door behind him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Brendan does always love to give him an out. “Or do you wanna–” Brendan nods his head towards Thom’s bedroom. 

Thom still doesn’t answer, just walks towards his room and doesn’t even turn around to make sure Brendan’s following. But of course he is and as soon as Thom turns around he’s being pulled into a bruising kiss, a clash of teeth mostly. He takes control, though. Slows Brendan down as turns them around and walks them back towards his bed. Brendan falls as soon as the back of his thighs hit the mattress and he pulls Thom down with him. 

“God I’ve missed you so fucking much,” Brendan breaks the kiss to say. And he looks like he means it as Thom studies his face. 

“Hush.” 

Thom doesn’t waste any time undressing Brendan, pulling his shirt off first followed by his joggers and boxers all in one go. Brendan’s hard already and they haven’t even done anything yet. Thom can’t stop the smirk, knowing how responsive Brendan is towards him, how he doesn’t have to do much to get him going. 

“You gonna take anything off?” Brendan clearly was going for a joke but his delivery is too breathy to land. 

Thom doesn’t answer, just leans down and presses his mouth against Brendan’s neck, featherlight kisses against the skin there. He steadies himself with his hands on Brendan’s sides and feels the shiver that ripples through his body. Again, responsive as fuck, just for Thom.

He works his way down Brendan’s chest just like that, mouth light and teasing against Brendan’s skin as he brushes over his collarbone and then lower to his nipple. Thom takes his time there, maybe bites a little too hard as Brendan squirms underneath him but he stays quiet so Thom must be doing something right. He laves his tongue over the hard bud to soothe the pain, keeps it flat as he presses down, and Brendan whines. Thom moves over to the other nipple and does the same before moving further down. 

“Bordy,” Brendan’s voice is desperate and his hips are twitching underneath Thom, chasing friction against the soft cotton of Thom’s joggers. Thom leverages himself down and Brendan goes still. Thom rolls his hips a little as a reward as he goes back to marking up Brendan’s chest, scooting back down Brendan’s thighs to give himself more room.

Thom doesn’t even stop himself from leaving deep marks at the vee of Brendan’s hips, two on each side to keep it even. He skips over Brendan’s dick completely, hard and red against his hip, and nips at his thigh instead. 

“Thomas, please,” Brendan begs. “Please touch me.”

And he’s so polite, how could Thom deny him? He looks up at Brendan’s face and takes one look at the wet, splotchy red state of his cheeks before he grabs at his dick without warning and gets his mouth on the head. Thom doesn’t drag this part out. Instead, he takes Brendan in as far as he can and doesn’t even think about how weird it probably is that he’s still fully clothed. 

Brendan’s a mess beneath him, hips rocking gently and hands tangled in Thom’s hair gently pushing his head down. Normally Thom would pull off and tell Brendan off for being too rough but it feels too good like this. He’s in control but not as Brendan has him trapped on his dick. So Thom doubles down, uses his tongue against the underside of Brendan’s cock the way he knows drives him crazy and it’s not long before Brendan is choking out a warning and coming in Thom’s mouth. 

He swallows and works his mouth over Brendan’s dick until he’s oversensitive and whining and pushing Thom off. He takes a minute to catch his breath, head resting on Brendan’s thigh and both of them breathing heavily. Eventually, Brendan pulls him up and shoves a hand down his pants, kissing him deep at the same time. It’s not the best handie Briss has given him but he’s usually useless after he comes anyway so it’s more than Thom was expecting. And it’s not like it takes him long to feel that tingle down his spine, already keyes up enough from blowing Brendan. 

He bites Brendan’s lip as he comes, a little harder than he realized judging by the hiss he lets out and the tang he gets against his tongue. But he whispers apologies as he presses soft kisses against Brendan’s mouth. His body starts to sag against Brendan’s and he falls with a huff. He knows he should deal with the mess inside his pants but he’s too comfortable to be bothered with it right now. 

“What kind of dog were you thinking?” Brendan asks as he nips at Thom’s ear, gunning for round two just like he used to back at Michigan. Thom shoves him, pinning him against the bed before grinding his hips down.

“The perfect little purse dog, just for you. I promise,” Thom smiles as he leans back down for a kiss. 

#jess writes #wrappedmas #hrpf

[thefaiao]

   Making music has been a weird experience. I remember in high-school when I would try to accompany a beat and one friend told me “I have no rhythm at all”. I thought, what, no way. I am enjoying this music so much and clapping, I must have rhythm if my heart is in it. He was right.    Even recently I didn’t have a good notion of rhythm. The song I made for the game in 2019 was a little endearing atrocity with barely any pacing. I’ll probably re-use it somewhere though it’s kind of cute, because even then my heart was truly in it. In a way it has that to replace its lack of everything else.    I was streaming Friday Night Funkin’ to a friend once and she mocked me for barely hitting any notes, it was ruthless. I felt as if I was naked and someone was commenting on any weird shaped moles they could procure. I got mad at her but it did motivate me to get better at following a beat.    I’d always be hitting stuff on my way to and back from places, but I think I was just following random brain malfunctions rather than a rhythm. Now whenever I can I am pacing a beat as well as I can. I got a perfect combo on a reconstructed mole in Mother 3! That shit is hard as fuck. By the end of the game I was getting many perfect combos with my obsession. I suppose I took it very personally. Either way games aren’t the best way to better your skills fully. It’s just a weird replacement... maybe there’s still some real world after-effects but I’d often think “I will get so good at games I will be a beast in real world activities.” I don’t think that worked but I am pretty good at games now.    I wish that friend could see that I got a many perfect combos in Mother 3, but we are no longer friends. But I am sure she felt it through the invisible forces that binds us all. Maybe some stray bowel movement informed her of my achievements.   The climax of this was me working on the track for the game’s boss. It was torture. Like trying to teach a dog to fly. It was hard to be consistent, as I often follow my whims and instincts instead of structuring and organizing myself. Whenever I had to add a variation I’d sit on my chair sweating. Ah! There is no way. I have to kill myself! I didn’t though, I managed to finish it, but only after I failed my driving exam and my brother told me. Dude, it’s pretty good, the melody is dissonant but it works. He didn’t like the out of combat tracks though because they were dissonant and games usually make something more subdued. Now I have to learn more stuff. This is bullshit.    Because of this people will have to accept these beautifully desolated amateurish tracks as if a new school of melody has been made! I will do better in the next ones, whatever. I had fun making them and it’s a game that wouldn’t make sense to have normal video game music. The game is demented so it needs music that reflects the two brain-damaged idiots that made it.    Despite Chuck Salamone’s tracks being beautiful and very inspiring, I can’t help but appreciate the scuffed tracks Mason did for Hylics 1. They have stuck to me more.    Fuck negative dB measurements. What does that mean! Go to hell!

[aboutanancientenquiry]

Flourishing with Herodotus

"FLOURISHING WITH HERODOTUS

by royalhistsoc | Jul 13, 2023 | General, Guest Posts, History and Human Flourishing | 0 comments

In this second post of the ‘History and Human Flourishing’ series, Suzanne Marchand explores the contemporary value and relevance of Herodotus in historical teaching and methodology. Though often overlooked in favour of a ‘scientific’ approach advocated by nineteenth-century acolytes of Thucydides, Herodotus and his Histories remain a rich — and much needed — guide to history as the story and study of human behaviours. In this post, Suzanne considers Herodotus’ appeal and lessons for historians today.

This post is the second contribution to the Society’s 3-part ‘History & Human Flourishing’ blog series. The first, by Darrin M. McMahon, explores the often-neglected study of the history of human happiness. 

There is, in my view, too much Thucydides in our histories and perhaps in our hearts today. This is partly the fault of the nineteenth century, when he became exemplary of the ‘right’ kind of historian: cynical, disciplined, grimly determined not to waste time on trifling matters. Power, for him — in a way oddly reminiscent of the also still-pervasive work of Michel Foucault — is what drives history and defines all human interactions, regardless of what anyone might say. So much have we accustomed ourselves to this cynical view that even the cultural historians among us struggle to wrest ourselves from its grip.

This is why it might be healthy to recall that Thucydides devised his historical principles to demonstrate his superiority to an already famous predecessor — one who has always, also, had his advocates, even if his reputation suffered a tremendous blow in the age of Leopold von Ranke. Pace the military strategists and the philosophers of international relations, we historians do not have to be eternal Thucydideans. Indeed, in doing so we might find new means of flourishing by embracing some of the richer and weirder methods of writing — and especially of teaching — history and of conceiving human nature that Thucydides renounced.

Herodotus gave us so much broader a picture of the calculated and crazy things we do, how rulers succeed and screw up, how cruel and clever we can be. 

The spurned predecessor to whom I refer to is, of course, Herodotus, whose Histories relate, in shaggy dog fashion, the cosmopolitan backstory and then the unfolding of the Persian Wars.

It would wrong to insinuate, as Thucydides does in the famous passage at 1.122, that Herodotus wrote merely for entertainment, and did not care about truth, or to assert, as would Plutarch five centuries later, that Herodotus maliciously skewed his story. There are entertaining and improbable stories in The Histories, such as the rescuing of the poet Arion by a sympathetic dolphin, and plausible but probably exaggerated ones, like the water management projects of Assyrian Queen Nitocris (1.185). But even more, there is with Herodotus a rich variety of life, women as well as men (by one count, only six are mentioned in Thucydides, to 370+ in The Histories). To these we may add animals, gods, rivers, kings, and others, motivated not just by self-interest or the yearning for power, but by dreams, vanity,  misunderstanding, passion, stupidity, pride, or simply unknown forces the historian cannot fathom.

In Book 6 (6.129-130), Herodotus tells the story of Hippokleides, set to make an advantageous marriage, who drinks too much at his engagement banquet, resulting in a bout of ribald dancing during which, it is suggested, he reveals his privates. When his prospective father-in-law tells him that he has danced away his good fortune (the original ‘balls up’), the merry-maker’s response — still used as an adage in modern Greek — is ‘Hippokleides doesn’t care!’ Don’t we all recognize a Hippokleides in our lives, perhaps (at least occasionally) in ourselves?

Image 1: Claude Vignon, “Croesus showing Solon his Treasure” (1630s) Wikimedia commons

Cicero termed Herodotus the ‘father of history,’ but in the same breath bracketed him with Theopompus, known for his long-winded digressions and his innumerabilies fabulae. What Cicero didn’t note was that Herodotus’ approach had a purpose: to convey a great deal of information and insight into human behaviour, at home, and abroad. Over the centuries, thousands of Herodotean fact-checkers have attempted to verify his information, sometimes finding him mistaken, but often recognising ways in which he was interestingly (if not perfectly accurately) right — about the Egyptian labyrinth, for example, or Persian horse lore.

But an even better reason for teaching Herodotus, or better teaching like Herodotus rather than, unrelentingly, like Thucydides, is that Herodotus gave us so much broader a picture of the calculated and crazy things we do; how rulers succeed and screw up, how cruel and clever we can be. Of course, his was also a very Greek way of seeing the world, and Herodotus’ stories about the despots of the East must be read with this in mind. But as he says in the very first line of his history, his intent throughout is to record for posterity the great deeds of the Greeks and the Persians, as well as to explain why they fought. I believe that Herodutus meant it, as he meant to show, too, that Egypt was full of wonderous things; that Scythia was home to brave if barbaric tribes; that some Greeks were cowards and tyrants; and others, at least some of the time, ingenious and courageous.

What if we accepted a bit more of the Herodotean worldview, and his approach to engaging with the past?

Herodotus certainly did care about human happiness. One of his most beloved tales, that of Solon and Croesus (1.29-33), goes right to the heart of the issue. As Herodotus relates, during travels he initiated to avoid having to repeal laws he imposed in Athens, Solon visited the extraordinarily wealthy king of the Medes. During his visit, the proud king shows Solon his riches, whereupon Solon launches into a story, the moral of which is that as fortune is ever changeable, one should not count oneself happy until one rests on one’s deathbed, surrounded by adoring family and friends.

The story acts as a prophecy, as Croesus will soon fall prey to an epic form of pride inciting a fall. Croesus will recall Solon’s admonition as he is about to be burnt on a pyre after the conquest of his kingdom (1.86). This is no mundane proverb, and it teaches an important, perhaps better, lesson than most Disney movies: one can and should try to live a good, honourable life. But one might fail, and not necessarily because of a ‘fatal flaw’ — fortune can simply deal a bad hand. Isn’t this a sensible way for us to conceive of our fellow humans and their flaws?  Sometimes the flaws get you, sometimes you simply have bad luck (which might be structurally conditioned). If the seventeenth century read the story as a warning against enjoying worldly riches (see image 1 above), we might read it as an admonition not to judge people by their fates, and to take seriously the view that there, but for the grace of God, or fortune, go I.

Image 2: Karl Gottfried von Lück, ‘Tomyris with the Head of Cyrus’, Frankenthal Porcelain Manufactory, c. 1773; Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York. Public domain.

Most especially, I would like to advocate for more Herodotean teaching in the classroom … Environmental history has spurred us to put nature and animals in the picture, as did Herodotus; he would approve of discussing commerce and foodways.

What if we accepted a bit more of the Herodotean worldview, and his approach to engaging with the past? I don’t think scholarly history can do this entirely, but it would be a relief to escape the unrelenting cynicism of the Thucydidean-Foucauldians. But most especially, I would like to advocate for more Herodotean teaching in the classroom. College students have endured all too much ‘high’ political and military history in high school, and find more engaging lectures on ‘everyday life,’ whether in discussions of colonial Salem, or Roman Britain, or Nazi Germany. Environmental history has spurred us to put nature and animals in the picture, as did Herodotus; he would approve of discussing commerce and foodways.

Why not indulge in a few good stories, such as that of Queen Tomyris, who avenged her army’s slaughter at the hands of Cyrus by having him decapitated and his head dipped in a bag of blood? Herodotus told this story (1.212), and it was so memorable that even when his Greek text was lost to the West, medieval and early modern writers (including Shakespeare) knew and repurposed it; eighteenth-century porcelain makers, too, recreated it (see image 2).  The story may well be apocryphal, but these too can occasion good teaching moments. Let’s see what we can do to make college history more Herodotean. Even if it won’t save us from the disdain of an increasingly presentist culture, at least, like Hippokleides, we might enjoy a last binge.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Suzanne Marchand is Boyd Professor of European Intellectual History at Louisiana State University. Her current research projects include a history of Herodotus’ readers from 1700 to the present, tentatively titled Herodotus and the Instabilities of Western Civilization. Her wide-ranging research interests include classical studies, art history, anthropology, history, and theology in modern Europe, as well as in the history of porcelain and related topics in the history of material culture and consumption in Central Europe.

Suzanne’s publications include the article ‘Herodotus and the Fate of Universal History in Nineteenth-Century Germany’, Journal of Modern History (forthcoming, 2023) and the monographs Porcelain. A History from the Heart of Europe (Princeton UP, 2020) and German Orientalism in the Age of Empire: Race, Religion, and Scholarship (Cambridge UP, 2009).

Her essay, ‘Flourishing with Herodotus’ appeared in Darrin McMahon’s edited collection, History & Human Flourishing (OUP, 2023)."

#herodotus #the histories #thucydides #suzanne marchand #human flourishing

[spider-the-bat]

araneae chiroptera |:| chapter five

chapter title: too much for a scavenger

chapter summary: Now that the fate of Kaiku's aunt has been half-told, and Miguel's lecture on canon events is done, Kaiku presumes she'll be allowed to leave.

Right?

pairing(s): Miguel O'Hara x Kaiku Localita, Hobie Brown x Daego Akachi

canon characters in this chapter: Miguel O'Hara, Hobie Brown, Jessica Drew, L.Y.L.A

original characters in this chapter: Kaiku Localita, Daego Akachi

rating: general audiences

warning(s): none

tags:

a/n: making Hobie's heelies canon asf rn, he be rolling everywhere

"And that's all there is to it. Do you understand?"

"Um...Yeah?"

"You don't sound like you understand. Why don't you understand?"

There was not too much to explain, but it was a lot to comprehend. The concept of the multiverse was a lot for most people, and Miguel was experiencing what's known as the "curse of knowledge/expertise" where when you know or are an expert in something, you assume that others are, therfore you are unable to put yourself in their shoes, unable to understand why they do not understand.

And since he was teaching, that was not the greatest thing to be experiencing.

"No, I do. I get it. Canon events gotta happen, or the universe freakin' dies. Canon events are the close police captain dying, friend dying, in some cases, the equivalent of Gwen dying. Am I right?" she said, all in one breath, before the vague thoughts escaped her.

"Correct. We need to go to the labs now." he replied, sighing in relief.

"Labs? Why?"

"Your suit. It's...scuffed, to say the least. From what I can see..." he commented, circling her. His eyes bored into her as he paced around.

"Your wings aren't covered, vulnerable, your feet aren't covered when they do...that—"

"It's called digitigrade." said Lyla, holographic frame appearing above the pair.

"Cats and dogs have it. Helps with agility, speed, energy efficiency, silent movement, shock absorption, traction, and a few other things."

"Woah..." marvelled Kaiku, looking up at her. "Who are you?"

"Did Miggy not introduce you to me? Well, I'm Lyla." she greeted, holding out a hand for a handshake, holding back a giggle as Miguel's hand smacked into his face.

"Good to meet you Lyla! I'm Kaiku. Just want to say, your fleece is awesome!"

"Huh, sweet! I like you. Miguel, you aren't allowed to be mean to her, we're best friends now." she stated, beaming over to Miguel, dainty fingers extended, pointing at his face.

"I'm not a mean person! I'm a busy one, that's all. Speaking of, Kaiku, labs. Your suit doesn't adapt to your feet, and that'll leave you vulnerable."

"Well, it's not like I can control it. If I get stressed, or my spider-sense spikes, they kinda just...do that. Only when it goes down, do my feet go back to normal, like now."

"Even more reason that we need to fix your suit. You have a spontaneous reaction that causes your feet to do that, and your suit doesn't adapt with it. Come with me."

Kaiku and Miguel walked at slightly different speeds through the long hallway, Kaiku quite a bit slower, due to having shorter legs, and the feet attached to said legs having gone back to normal. The crimson lighting was interesting. Enough light to see where you were going, but not enough that it burned your eyes.

"Why the red?" she asked, scratching her ears.

"No reason." he replied, not bothering to think about it.

"He does it for the atmosphere. Looks cool. Makes others uncomfortable, get me?" chipped Lyla, listing off reasons like she was reading them from a sheet.

"Also doesn't burn my eyes that much. Do you have night vision or something?"

"Yes."

"That makes a lot of sense, actually. Your office is pitch black, the corridors are dark, the entrance to your office is dark, you were standing in a pitch-black alley outside my apartment like you could see everything."

"You noticed all that?"

"Well yeah. I notice things."

"Strange things to notice." he responded, tone questioning as he stepped forward, pushing to door on the opposite wall open.

The labs were...interesting to say the least. Not to Miguel, of course, or actually most other people. But Kaiku?

Kaiku's eyes went wide. This lab bore an uncanny resemblance to the one she was taken to on her 20th. Like, I'm talking to the tiniesy details. Same exact colour scheme, white and a pale cyan. Same arrangement of equipment, same lighting. However there was one large difference, and that was the main reason that she did not freeze on the spot.

The glass box she'd been imprisoned in simply wasn't there, leaving a blank space in the middle of the room.

"Are you coming in or not?"

"Hm— What?" she said suddenly, realising that she'd been standing there blankly for quite a few seconds.

"Are you coming in, or not? We need to get your suit fixed up."

"Oh— Um, sure?"

"Okay. So, what I'm suggesting we do is, um, wait a minute." Miguel sat down in a nearby chair, typed some stuff into a laptop on the table, examined what looked like a diagram of bone structure. Probably a digitigrade bone structure, as he didn't fully know what that looked like, especially not on a human, but it'd essentially be the same thing. An X-ray would help though.

"You need an X-ray. Go behind the sheet."

"Seriously?"

"Did I stutter?"

"Damn! You're very assertive. My psych teacher would've loved you." she murmured, making her way around.

This forced jokiness was simply her way of trying subdue the fear within her. Why was the lab the same? Every screw, every tile, every counter, beaker, miscellaneous piece of equipment, they were all the same. But there were no masked scientists and robots jabbing needles into her body. And there would be no waking up the next day with random alterations in her body.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

[normal divider]

"Ok. So you're going to have to remake your suit."

[skip]

"Is it really that bad that it doesn't adapt with me? I've been alright this long."

He turned to her, eyes half-lidded in mild boredom. His eyes focused on her feet, which were covered in tiny scratches and bumps

#across the spiderverse #atsv #miguel o'hara #spiderman #spidersona #hobie brown #spider man: across the spider verse #oc #arachnabat #fanfiction #araneae chiroptera #fanfic #ff #curse of expertise #curse of knowledge #spiderverse

[solartranslations]

Debito: Heart Voice

Main S.

Name (Catlike): My name is Debito. So? If you’re asking about my name, that means you’re interested in me, right Bambina? I’d answer your invitation anytime so remember that, Ojou.

Age (Emotional Instability?): I’m 23. I don’t look it? Well, that’s fine. I have plenty of ways of make sure people don’t underestimate me for looking young.

Arcana Powers (Overthinking Hermit): My Arcana power is to become invisible. Before you realize it, I could be standing behind you Bambina. If you feel like you’re being watched, I might be there.

Stigmata (The Children of the Church): My stigmata is on my left ankle. You can’t see if very easily so if you want to then maybe you could try when I’m sleeping? *chuckle*

Arcana (Purple Jewel): My Arcana is “The Hermit”. Hiding in the shadows, being resourceful, and stealing the show. And doing things you can’t tell others about. Right?

Dream for the future? (Tranquility): The future is too far off so I don’t think about it. For now I’m fine with being able to sleep peacefully tonight.

Anyone you don’t like? (Darkness): That old man, Jolly. I get angry just seeing him. I wish he’d just get out of my sight.

Family (Friendship and Destiny): Saying that’s the Family is only half and answer. Well, I know I have relatives somewhere on the island. Maybe I’m a super distant relative of yours, Bambina!

Food S.

A person you respect? (The Taste of Sweet Sweet Love): Who is it that enabled me to have this life? That’s thanks to Papa. He doesn’t go with the ordinary and does what needs to be done. I admire that.

Favourite food (The Taste of Bitter Bitter Love): What charms me is of course the finest alcohol and the smiles of Signorinas. So, Bambina? Why don’t you smile a bit for me? It’ll make this cheap drink taste better.

Any parts of a girl you like seeing on accident? (The Taste of Intoxicating Love): Legs of course. Everything from your thighs to the tips of your toes, Bambina…is my ideal.

Date S.

Situation Voice 1 (Your Sound): Hey Bambina, are you heading back now too? Going back to the same home as a Signorina isn’t bad. Besides, it won’t do for you to walk by yourself so take me along from now on.

Situation Voice 2 (A Dream Seen on the Sea): I built a secret room in the casino. For what, you ask? Obviously it’s for the two of us to spend time alone together. So? Let’s take our time there, Bambina.

Situation Voice 3 (A Playboy’s Jealousy): Happy birthday. You can do whatever you want today. I’ll make any wish of yours come true. Well, it’s the day you were born, right Bambina? That much is natural.

Family S.

Height (Fascino - Boy’s School): I’m 180cm. I’m taller than Luca-chan but it’s annoying that I’m shorter than that idiot Pace.

Hobby (Azzardo - Boys’ School): Gambling as a whole. For example, a person’s face when the win that they were so sure about turns into a loss. I can’t get enough of that. And the opposite is good too. Ah, but it’d never happen to me though.

A secret from others (Mistero – Boys’ School): Be careful, Bambina. Don’t get close to Pace thinking he’s like a cute puppy. You’ll get bit. Basically, he’s more like a giant mad dog.

Secret S.

When asking the subordinates about their superiors as animals (Amore! Uno!): I’d be a clever wolf, right? Huh? I’m like a cat? Well, a stray cat is comparable to a stray dog.

Instrument (Amore! Due!): There’s a few instruments I’m good at, but my favourite is the mandolin. Its size fits well in my arms, the low tones are soft, and the high tones are sweet and clear. Yes, the instrument is self is like a woman.

Skills (Amore! Tre!): What is it that you can hand out to every Signorina on the island but won’t decrease? That would be my love. But it doesn’t come easy so there’s value to it.

Birthday (What do you Think of Rosmarino): My birthday, huh. It’s September 20th but, what’s the point of knowing that? I’m interested in the day you were born, Bambina, but I’m not interested in my own. Wherever or however I was born, I’m still me.

Disliked food (How to Cook Delicious Egg Dishes): Basically all food. I especially can’t understand how a certain alchemist just eats sweets all the time. He keeps plotting to maintain my figure too. I enjoy sweet things in a different way.

Weapon (One Two Infinity): Guns really are great. They’re an important part of my hands. Hitting the mark all the time is boring though so I miss on purpose sometimes. Well, isn’t it more interesting that way? *chuckle*

Ending S.

Continuously coincidental inevitable meetings (ED1): This isn’t a coincidence, Bambina. You know why I came here to do, right? It was so I could see you.

She ends up going to the church… (ED2): Oh, this is unexpected. I ended up coming here too. Well, I’m glad I did. I feel better after meeting you here, Bambina. Thanks.

Come visit Regalo (ED3): We have everything here on the island of Regalo. Food, pleasure, and love. So, hurry and come to my side, Bambina.

(Back to Directory)

#debito #arcana famiglia #la storia della arcana famiglia #heart voice #solar translations #psp game #translation #releases #what does he mean by that pace is a dog comment??

[uramichislefttiddie]

Life Lessons With Uramichi Oniisan Alphabet

||Contains: Uramichi Omota + Iketeru Daga||

||Warnings: NSFW||

Reminder! Please don’t comment anything that implies your age, I cannot stop who reads this unfortunately but I can at the very least give out a warning that this contains nsfw content.⚠️

please forgive me I could not stop laughing whilst writing this, I had to skip specific words because it did not sound right to me and my childish behaviour😭

Uramichi Omota:

A: Aftercare (how they treat you afterwards)

If anything all this man will want to do is try and get a good nights rest even if it means only a couple hours of sleep. He will make sure however you are cleaned up and are alright before he deals with himself. He’d never leave you to care for yourself, he always makes sure he cares for you first. He’s very touch starved meaning he makes sure he gets cuddles and kisses before you both drift off into a slumber!

B: Body (his fav part of his body and yours)

His favourite body part on himself most likely would be his muscles specifically his toned arms, I mean he’s a former gymnast so what can you expect? On you his favourite part would be either ass or thighs, the reason mainly being it’s something he can rest on, or another reason being he loves to mark your thighs up not caring if anyone can see, also he just genuinely likes groping your ass however he’ll only do that in privacy, he’d rather not have the risk of someone having just witnessed him groping your ass in public. In make out sessions always expect his hands to be roaming either along your thighs or ass there’s no other option it could be.

C: Cum (well I’m pretty sure you can gather what I mean)

Majority of the time he will make sure to not cum inside you meaning hell either do it over your face or body, however once in awhile if you allow him he will not pass up the opportunity to cum inside you. When I say once in awhile, Uramichi will try and make it near enough every time that you allow him to cum inside, he just loves the idea of having the risk you could end up with having his children. (Russian roulette type beat/j) and a plus to him is that if he can cum in you it means less cleaning to do.

D: Dirty Secret (a secret of theirs that they haven’t told)

Now I get a strong sense that this man really wants to try bondage with ropes especially, wether it be you that’s tied up or him he doesn’t care either way he really wants to try it. But he doesn’t want to scare you off by asking so he still hasn’t mentioned it and he doesn’t want you to start making fun off him about it💀 however you’ve had an inkling for awhile that he’s got something about being tied up.

E: Experiance (Do they know what they’re doing?)

Now he may be 31 years of age but this man has never gone past kissing someone before he met you. You were his first and oh boy he had no clue what he was doing, mainly because he was nervous and couldn’t comprehend what was truly happening. He has watched his fair share of porn etc but when it came down to actually doing it himself he mind had become fog. Overtime though he’s come to learn what you like best and least and has took that into account and now it’s as if he’s been doing it for years.

F: Favourite Position (which he prefers to do)

Now he’ll most likely switch between a mating press or doggy style. The reasoning for mating press is it allows him to be more face to face to you and he can see your face during it which turns him on even more. And let’s be real he more than likely has a breeding kink. So mating press + breeding kink = heaven to him. Now the reason for doggy style is because he loves having your bare ass slam against him and watching it jiggle when he slaps it. He also loves leaving marks on your hips meaning doggy style makes that all the easier.

G: Goofy (do they laugh or are they the serious type)

Uramichi is probably the type of be serious, he might laugh there and than every so often if something a bit funny happens but overall he’s pretty much serious and that’s just him.

H: Hairy (shave? Unshaven?)

Unshaven, however he will trim it if you ask him to, but seeing as he’s 31 I think he couldn’t care less about body hair as it’s normal and he just sees it as a waste of time to have to repeatedly shave.

I: Intamicy (how they’re like in bed)

80% of the time he will be rough, releasing out all the pent up anger and frustration, but he still makes sure your ok. Although there will be them days where he just wants to be more romantic than rough and his whole demeanour will have flipped upside down and he’ll be acting all lovey dovey. Plus most definitely a switch.

J: Jack Off (Do they? Or not?)

Nah, not really, if he’s in that type of mood and your not with him he’ll either wait or come meet you wherever you are so he can get relief.

K: Kink (What kinks they have)

Gagging, Breeding, Bondage, Dacryphilia, cockwarming

L: Length (how big they are)

He’s more girthy than long, he’s probably about 6 inches which is a good length all in all.

M: Motivation (what gets them going)

When you start whining at him for attention or if you raise your voice at him because oh boy that really does set off something in him when you raise your voice.

N: No (something they will not do)

Knife play or anything that could seriously harm you even by accidental.

O: Oral (which they prefer)

He prefers giving than receiving but once in awhile he’d just want you to be the one giving it to him and making him fall under your touch.

P: Pace (how fast they go)

He’s not necessarily fast but rather hard. By that I mean he will go full force into you where both yours skins slap against each other and where he will grunt a lot which oh boy is hot.

Q: Quicke (do they do them?)

Surprisingly he does them a lot seeing as he has work 6 days a week which really only leaves him with one day where it can just be you and him all day. So either he’ll do one in the morning or at night but it depends if he’s feeling too tired after work.

R: Risk (are they one for taking a risk?)

Now he’ll hate someone interrupting so he always makes sure you both do it where the chances of getting interrupted are reduced drastically, plus it’d be very embarrassing for someone to walk in. Usahara now always make sure to knock before making his grand entrance into his apartment. The risk of you getting pregnant kinda excites him in a way so you gotta watch out with this man.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

On an average he can last around 2-3 rounds but on a very good day it feels like it’s never ending, he just needs that motivation if you get me.

T: Toys (do they use them)

No. He’s never really been into them and they’ve never sparked his interest.

U: Unfair (are they fair)

He’s quite fair to be honest, he makes sure you both equally get what you both want but there can be times he can be a tease when he’s in one of them type of moods.

V: Volume (how loud they are)

Majority of the time he lets out grunts rather than moans, he gets embarrassed if he moans however after the time you told him you like it when does he doesn’t hold back anymore but like I said most of the time he grunts and breathes heavily.

X: X-ray (what they’re like under there)

Like I said, more girthy than long.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

It’s shockingly quite high, although it may not show when he’s near you expect him to be quite touchy most of the time waiting for you to get the signal. In simple terms he’s quite the horn dog.

Z: Zzz (how fast they go to sleep afterwards)

I’ll say it straight. He goes to sleep incredibly fast, but he won’t before he makes sure your cleaned up and settled down!

Iketeru Daga

A: Aftercare (how they treat you afterwards)

This boy will give you the best aftercare ever. You hungry? Ok he’ll go make something for you. You want to go for a drive? Ok he’ll take you for a drive. You want a shower/bath? Ok he’ll go prepare you one. You understand me now. He will double check your ok and cleaned up as best as possible. Will always make sure you’ve gone to the toilet afterwards and have had some water. Will fall asleep with you in his arms always whilst reading to you.

B: Body (his fav part of his body and yours)

His favourite part of his body will be his hands, not only because they’re pleasing to the eye but because he knows his long fingers can make you come undone very quickly and easily and that gives him somewhat of a boost. His favourite part of your body to him will be your lips, he loves the feeling of them when he kisses you or when your kissing him anywhere (😏 /j)

C: Cum (well I’m pretty sure you can gather what I mean)

He loves seeing his cum dripping down your face, the way it leaves a shine along your face just looks so pretty to him. So he prefers to cum over your face or in your mouth to where he can see it dripping down yourself. Don’t get me wrong he’d love to cum in you but he’s responsible and would rather wait until you both want a child so he doesn’t need to worry about getting you pregnant.

D: Dirty Secret (a secret of theirs that they haven’t told)

He likes to be choked. Awhile back you had no clue until you accidentally did and that’s when the game got even more interesting. He really just overall loves seeing you in charge.

E: Experiance (Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a few girlfriends in the past but never gone as far as to do more than make out with them, he’s always said he’d save it for the when the right person comes along and he knows it the right person. But he very much does know what he’s doing, he knows how to make you feel good, he’s done plenty of research.

F: Favourite Position (which he prefers to do)

Reverse cowgirl. He absolutely loves you riding him and if it means reverse cowgirl it allows him to smack your ass and fondle it, also allows him to easily guide you with your hips. Damn he goes berserk when your in this position I tell you.

G: Goofy (do they laugh or are they the serious type)

Do I even need to say? Of course he’s going to be goofy, the man laughs at dick jokes. However once he starts laughing that’s it, he won’t be able to stop for awhile, it’s honestly become uncontrollable.

H: Hairy (shave? Unshaven?)

Honestly, he leaves it down to you and what you prefer, he doesn’t mind if you prefer shaven or not either way he’ll go with what you like.

I: Intamicy (how they’re like in bed)

Probably the slow but long stroke type of guy. He loves the way you start to become impatient and fidgety. He loves the look in your eyes when he’s facing you.

J: Jack Off (Do they? Or not?)

He only will if he hasn’t seen you for a few days or hasn’t been able to do anything with you. He prefers doing it with you actually.

K: Kink (What kinks they have)

Choking, Food Play, Cockwarming, Spit, Praise

L: Length (how big they are)

Longer than girthy, he reaches about 7.5 inches, he can definitely reach the high spots.

M: Motivation (what gets them going)

When you start to praise him, especially with “good boy” that will get him going almost immediately, it just switches something on in his mind so very quickly.

N: No (something they will not do)

He’s willing to try most things as long as you feel safe and he feels safe and you both know to be careful and know how far to go with everything.

O: Oral (which they prefer)

He prefers receiving than giving, he just loves being able to watch you go down on him and struggle. But when you want some he will be more than happy to give.

P: Pace (how fast they go)

Life I previously said, he’s the type of guy that goes slow but he makes sure he’s hitting all the right spots that you like and that gets you going.

Q: Quicke (do they do them?)

He prefers to not have them but if it comes down to it and you really want one he will do so, but don’t expect it to become a regular thing.

R: Risk (are they one for taking a risk?)

Oh he’s scarred many peoples eyes and mind because he simply “forgot” to lock the door and close the curtains/blinds. Poor Uramichi as if he hadn’t enough going on. He doesn’t really want to risk getting you pregnant though, so he will use a condom.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

He can go for a straight 3 or more rounds, it normally stops when it’s you that can’t take anymore not the other way round, he always waits until you’ve had your pleasure before he’ll stop.

T: Toys (do they use them)

Now he’d never admit it, but before you two started being sexual he had quite the few toys. He most likely had a flashlight, tenga egg and a cock ring for example. Them type of ones.

U: Unfair (are they fair)

He’s the fairest of them all, he’d make sure your getting what you need and than sort himself out, he’s never once been unfair to you.

V: Volume (how loud they are)

Now…this mans a full on moaner and he has no shame about it. He honestly has that type of pretty moan too, where he whimpers at the same time and he will not look away either. Oh and if your the one sucking him off, be prepared because he can’t hold back at all, it’s honestly like heaven to him.

X: X-ray (what they’re like under there)

As already said he’s quite long compared to others, he reaches about 7.5 inches.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Probably around average but if you get him going well-

Z: Zzz (how fast they go to sleep afterwards)

Will not go to sleep no matter what before you, it always has to be you that falls asleep first before he can fall into a slumber. He always wants to know your safe. And plus if you’ve fallen asleep he will clean you up if you haven’t already, and will leave some water and paracetamol next to you for when you wake up and if he leaves before you in the morning or wakes up before you he’ll always leave a little note next to you too.

#life lessons with uramichi oniisan #omota uramichi #daga iketeru #anime smut #anime x reader #x yn #anime x you #x you #x reader #uramichi x reader #iketeru x reader #uramichi smut #iketeru smut #smut alphabet #alphabet smut #anime #anime x yn #anime x y/n #x y/n #x reader smut #life lessons with uramichi oniisan smut #scenarios

[caitimetravels]

she's insignificant

chapter 9: i missed you.. say it back

the umbrella academy x (fem) reader

disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters.

warnings: none

masterlist

"klaus?" y/n stepped upstairs, hoping he was home. she was worried after he disappeared but was relieved to feel him now. she wandered through the house, looking around for him. she called out as she walked.

finally, she caught sight of him in the bathtub. he looked distressed, eyes blown wide and flickering around in fear. with quicker steps she knelt beside the bath, reaching out and shaking his arm. "klaus?" she called but he didn't seem to hear her.

"klaus?!" she shouted, worried. he shot up, shaking. "hey, hey, are you alright?" she placed her hand gently on his shoulder, speaking softly so as not to startle him. he breathed heavily before staring blankly at her for a moment, eyes teary.

"klaus? what happened to you?" she slowly moved to take his hands, examining them. she frowned at the blood and dirt adorning them. where had he been?

klaus didn't answer her question for a while, instead sobbing quietly, leaning back in the tub. he looked broken, it was the worst she had ever seen her brother in his life. she could practically see his heart torn to shreds in his chest. not wanting to worsen his mood she reached for some soap and a cloth, letting go of his hands for a moment. she moved back to sit beside him. she took his left hand first, softly wiping away the blood and dirt. 

neither of them spoke for a while, both just enjoying the others presence. 

"i was worried" she eventually broke the silence, voice almost a whisper, "i couldn't feel your soul and i thought.. i thought we lost you"  there was a pause, "where did you go?"

klaus frowned, looking up at her now, eyes still glassy with emotion. "i met someone" he slowly begun, "i time travelled, back to 1968 in vietnam.. i fought in a war" he chuckled bitterly, "he was.. beautiful, i loved him- i love him more than myself.. we spent almost a year together before.. " he begun to choke up, eyes filling with fresh tears.

"hey, hey, it's okay" y/n reached a hand up, caressing his hair. she shifted so that she sat on the side of the bath and he could lean his head against her hip while she continued to thoroughly clean his hands. "i'm sure he was lovely. probably sweet and he'd have to be able to keep up with you" she gently teased, poking his wrist. he laughed feebly, nodding against her side.

"he was so sweet. very handsome, he was so supportive.." 

"he sounds perfect for you" y/n smiled sadly, wishing she could have done something to bring him back for klaus.

"he was perfect" klaus sighed shakily, whispering quietly. y/n didn't want him to spiral, he was probably hurting a lot right now. so, she continued talking, anything to help ease his pain. she knew it wasn't much in comparison but she couldn't just let him hurt. 

"i'm sure he would have done well at a family dinner" she joked, hoping to direct the conversation elsewhere. klaus laughed a bit louder, imagining him interacting with their family.

"oh, he'd be so intimidated" she smiled, "you'd all probably scare him off"

y/n gasped in mock offence, "i would not! i'd be very nice, thank you very much!"

"hm, i'm sure you would. i can't say the same for diego and luther though" klaus hummed, much more at ease now.

"what about five? he'd be so grumpy" y/n teased her brother and klaus chuckled too, "that's if he even showed up though" 

"the little gremlin, probably wouldn't even acknowledge us" 

"gremlin?" y/n snorted, "i suppose he always has been, huh? i have to say, he's a lot worse now than he was"

"now?" klaus raised his eyebrows, pulling back to look at her. he thought about it for a moment, "he's not too bad i guess, just doesn't want to ask for our help" 

"we never really talked much so i can't accurately comment on when we were younger but he's definitely a solo rider now" she nodded, 

"what about me?" klaus gave a small grin, 

"what about you?" she hummed, amused.

klaus rested back against her, "how have i changed?"

"you didn't change that much, i suppose" she paused her movements with the wash cloth, thinking about it. "i think you've matured though, you've been through a lot, we all have and we've all done it alone.. i guess that's just made us all grow up a bit more.. depressed then we should've. you're still the same though, you're still funny, you make me laugh, you're still drug obsessed.. you should stop but i know you probably won't.." she gently resumed washing the blood away. "you're familiar, i guess.. i really did miss you, you know?" 

klaus smiled, although it looked a sadder than before. "i know, little sis. i missed you too.. sometimes i wish i had taken you with me when i left but i knew i couldn't.. i'm sorry i left you all alone"

"mm, well.. it's okay, while i was lonely i'm glad you all found your own lives" she shrugged it off, calmly. she dropped his arm now, standing up. "now, come on, the water's probably cold by now" 

"hey.. little sis" klaus made her stop and pause for a moment. "i lied to you.. when we were younger"

"what do you mean?" she frowned,

"about ben.. he was there, he's always been there" klaus looked down, "i should have told you when you asked but i.. i was scared dad would realise i wasn't completely hopeless or some crap like that"

"no, no, i get it.. sort of" she smiled, "i lied to everyone as well"

they shared a soft look, both really having missed each other.

she then turned to wash the cloth in the sink while klaus got out, he pulled the plug and took a towel with him to his room. while she washed the cloth he dried off and got dressed. she looked up as she heard footsteps. using her powers she knew it was five. he stood in the doorway to klaus' room, looking at the bloody hand prints on the bathtub and the red trail that lead to his room.

he slowly walked into the room as klaus pulled a shirt on. he knocked softly,

"you okay?"

"yeah.. just uh long night" klaus shrugged it off, shirt hanging on his arms. noticing that he begun to pull it over his head.

"more than one from the looks of it" five stepped into the room.

"yup"

y/n wrung out the cloth, seeing as it was no longer red and left it on the side of the sink, folded over. she walked down the hall, grimacing at the trail klaus left.

"don't remember the dog tags" five pointed out as she stepped closer.

"yeah, they belong to a.. friend" klaus waved it off, pulling his shirt down.

"how 'bout that new tattoo?" five was obviously pushing him, wanting answers. 

"you know, i don't totally remember even getting it" klaus shrugged, "like i said, it was a long night"

"what are you questioning him for?" y/n spoke up, leaning against the door. klaus didn't need five picking on him right now. he glanced at her before looking between them.

"he did it.. didn't you?" he asked, smirking.

"what are you talking about?" klaus frowned, taking a seat.

"you know i can recognise the symptoms klaus" five walked further into the room, right up to him.

"symptoms of what?" 

"the jet lag, full body itch, the headache that feels like someone shoved a box of cotton up into your nose and through your brain" five paused, watching as klaus ran his hands down his face. "you gonna tell me about it?"

"your pals, when they broke into the house and they couldn't find you. they took me hostage instead" he

"and in return you stole their briefcase" five smirked,

"yeah, i thought there was money in it. or i could pawn it, you know, whatever" klaus looked away, sighing "and then i opened it.." he looked down and five begun pacing.

"and the next thing you knew, you were where? or should i say when?" he paused to look at klaus.

"what difference does it make?" klaus threw a hand up, annoyed.

"what diff-? okay, how long were you gone?" 

"almost a year" klaus sighed.

"a year.." five breathed before leaning in towards him. "do you know what this means?"

"yeah, i'm ten months older now" he joked, 

"no, this isn't any sort of joke, klaus. hazel and chacha will do whatever they can to get the briefcase" five leaned in, pausing his pacing "where is it now?"

"gone, i destroyed it. poof!" klaus made a motion with his hands,

"what the hell were you thinking?" five glared, speaking through gritted teeth,

"what do you care?" klaus annunciated, 

"what do i care?! i needed it, you moron- so i could- i could get back, i could start over!" five begun to yell, getting angry.

"just.." klaus stood, shaking his head. he was done.

"where are you going?" five asked, watching him walk away.

"interrogations over.. just.. leave!" klaus called back, annoyed.

"nice going, five" y/n called, rolling her eyes. five's head snapped towards her.

"nice going? y/n i needed that-" he seethed but she cut him off with a hiss,

"i don't care, that's not an excuse to harass your family. klaus is having a hard time right now and you just barged in here like you own the place, getting angry at him for getting kidnapped!"

"i don't have time-" five scowled, beginning to argue,

"for what, five?! for us? for your family?" y/n took a moment to calm down, glaring at him "you can save the world all you want but remember.. if you ruin your relationships with us, they can't be fixed with a simple equation" 

she was about to leave before five grabbed a piece of paper, sitting down and using his knee to write.

"what are you doing?" she leaned closer to get a good look,

"i have a plan" he simply stood up and walked to his room. what was he up to this time?

she followed along behind him, watching as he begun to write on his walls, having run out of books and paper. she sighed, flopping onto his bed, waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing so that he would finally talk to her.

"ben.. he was there, he's always been there" he was there when she felt him in the room, she knew she wasn't crazy. would he be happy.. proud of her? would he have seen her fighting with her siblings? did he know about her powers and her efforts to find five? did he see all her training with dad and the long days she would study to help their brother? 

she wondered if her father could see it too.. could he see them all fighting? their problems all resurfacing? did he see her possess that assassin.. see what he didn't discover?

ben stood in the doorway, watching as five wrote away on the walls. he walked over to the bed, reaching out to take y/n's hand. he frowned when their skin never made contact, he only phased right through her. 

y/n frowned, sensing someone else. she sat up slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed and concentrating. ben stood in front of her, confused. he bent down to see her face clearly, her eyes were black..

"ben.." she whispered with a smile, her normal e/c eyes returning. the said boy smiled back, at least she knew.

tag list: (if your name is crossed i couldnt tag you) @rxses-and-reverie @lostgreekgod @on-yourmark-99 @bicyhot1 @navs-bhat @midnightmystic @shawkneecaps @baby-bi-bi-bi-yeah @velveticxyyy

#tua x reader #tua #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x sibling reader #tua x sibling reader #five hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #allison hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #luther hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #klaus hargreeves

[professorrw]

Don't Fake It

marvel masterlist

Pairing: female reader x Peter Quill

Request: peter starts getting frisky with the reader but shes tired and isn’t really in the mood. He would never pressure her or anything but she wants to make him happy and feels bad saying no, so she does it and fakes her orgasm just to get it over with. Later, he somehow finds out (or knew all along, you decide) that she faked it and of course his ego is bruised and he’s kinda annoyed, but also feels guilty she didn’t tell him how she felt. So the next night, she starts coming onto him and he makes damn sure she never fakes it again. Then after, she apologizes for faking it and it gets kinda fluffy because hes like “hey, its not good for me if you’re not having as much fun as I am. I have a right hand if i’m that desperate.”

Warnings: smut, 18+, fluff, faking an orgasm, protected sex, rough sex

A/N: Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!

Sleep was calling your name, digging its claws into you and dragging you into the dark depths of slumber. But there was something stopping it. That thing was Peter. He was wide awake and his sex drive was in full throttle. You weren’t feeling up to it though. The long day at work had taken a toll on you, and the only thing you wanted to do was go to sleep.

You loved Peter, everything about him. You didn’t want to deny him sex, especially when he was being so sweet about it. Your back was to him so he could cuddle you while you slept, but he started to kiss your shoulders and the part of your back that was exposed by your tank top.

“Mmm what is it baby?” you asked groggily.

“I want you,” he replied unashamedly. You could feel Quill shifting his weight behind you. He was peering over your shoulder, trying to look at you. He had missed you all day and you were finally home. What he didn’t know was that you were tired, and not in the mood.

“Oh really?” you mumbled.

“Mhm, I missed you today.” You couldn’t see him but by his sweet tone of voice you could tell that he was sticking his bottom lip out and giving you puppy dog eyes. You smiled and turned around, cupping his face in your hands.

"You know you're adorable right?" you teased.

He smiled, "I know, that's why you can't resist all of this." He wiggled his eyebrows, making you laugh. He was just too cute. You didn't want to tell him no.

When you stopped laughing he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. The kiss quickly elevated, his hand snaking up your tight shirt and pressing heat against your lower abdomen. While your eyes were closed, sleep called your name once more, but you ignored it.

Peter pulled back for a minute and reached over to the night stand. He grabbed a condom and pulled his boxers down and put it on, tossing the wrapper back onto the table. He switched positions and crawled on top of you. His face drew closer and he kissed you while he pulled down your sweat shorts.

He got the lube too and squirted some on his covered dick and rubbed the leftovers around near your entrance. With dick in hand he guided his length into you, easing it in as to not hurt you. He let out a long sigh when he got to moving. At least he was feeling good, you thought. Peter was making you feel good too, but you were so tired that if it weren't for the movement you would have fallen asleep.

The pleasure wasn't building like it usually did. You wanted to cum, you wanted to show Peter that he was doing a good job. But you weren't feeling it, and you knew you weren't going to cum. You didn't want to hurt Peter's feelings so as he reached his peak speed and his head lolled back you moaned extra loud, "I'm gonna cum!"

"Me too," he groaned back. His hips pounded into you and his balls slapped against you as he came in his condom. You kept on moaning a little, acting like you had actually cum too.

Peter slowed then pulled out. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and went to the bathroom to clean up. He went to take his condom off and realized there was no cum on the outside of it. You said you had cum, but there wasn't anything other than lube on there. Quill didn't want to assume you had faked it, but he didn't want to ask right away either.

He threw the condom away and went back to your bedroom. You were already out cold, and when Peter saw he sighed and crawled into bed, completely dejected. He was embarrassed that he couldn’t make you cum, and a little annoyed that you wouldn’t just tell him. But he let those thoughts drift away so he could fall asleep.

The next morning you woke up early for work again. Peter was still asleep so you didn’t wake him and instead went about your morning routine. Three minutes before you needed to leave you wrote a little note on the refrigerator for him, “I hope you slept well hunny, I’ve already left for work by the time you wake up but I just wanted to say I love you and I’ll see you later <3”

About an hour later Quill rolled out of bed and dragged himself into the kitchen. He wasn’t a morning person by any means. The coffee machine beeped and he pushed himself off of the counter to pour himself a cup. He set his mug down on the counter and went to the refrigerator to get milk and creamer. Your note, which he noticed just then, made him stop mid pull. He shut the refrigerator and took the note off so he could get a better look at it. A tired smile spread on his face.

Then he remembered last night. It was odd that there wasn’t anything on his condom, and you didn’t get up to clean yourself off right after he did. Now that he thought about it, you went straight to sleep. How unusual. He pushed the thought aside and decided he would bring it up later. It wasn’t making him mad, but he was a little wounded that you had faked it, or if you even did fake it.

Lucky for you, work was slow and you got off early. On the way home you picked up lunch for you and Peter. It was in a way an apology for your tiredness last night and faking your orgasm, whether he knew about it or not.

Keys jingling together you unlock the door and step in with takeout in hand. “Quill I’m home!” you shout.

He power walks out of the bedroom and just about tackles you into a bear hug. You giggle and kiss his stubbled cheek. “I missed you,” you say into his ear.

“I missed you moooore,” he replies. “How was work?”

“Better than yesterday, I’ll tell you that. Plus I got off early, so that’s even better. I get to spend more time with you.” You kiss his cheek again and he smiles before setting you back down. The food gets set on the kitchen counter and you pull out the chinese you got. You hand Peter his usual order and take out your own.

There’s only the quiet sound of eating for a few minutes before Peter says something. “Y/N I need to ask you something.”

You look over at him. He rarely calls you by your first name. That means he’s being serious. “What is it?”

He wants to ask about your orgasm but you’re right in the middle of eating and he doesn’t want to interrupt you. He can just ask later, he thinks to himself. He thinks of something else to ask and quickly thinks of, “Can you pass me some soy sauce?”

You quirk an eyebrow at him but hand him a few packs and go back to eating.

Later that night, a few hours later, you were laying in bed doing nothing in particular. Thoughts of last night were filling both your heads. Peter was set on trying to ask you about it, and you were set on trying to make up for it.

The both of you were sitting up in bed and you set your phone down on your bedside table and leaned over. You set a hand on Peter’s bare chest and he instantly stopped what he was doing. His eyes shot to yours, a sly smile on your face. He could tell exactly what it was you wanted.

“Peter,” you whispered against his lips. Your mouth was an inch away from his and your eyes were drifting between his and his lips. He parted his mouth and leaned forward, capturing you before you could make a move. You were trying to take the lead, but he wasn’t letting you.

He overpowered you, flipping you around and putting you on your knees. His bulge was against your ass and he was rubbing circles against it. The intensity he was showing was like nothing before. Whatever it was that was riling him up you needed to find out. It would have to wait until later though, because your panties being dragged down your thighs was the only thing you could think of.

A condom and lube had already been taken out of the drawer, and Peter was putting them on. The room was silent other than the rustling of sheets and your heart hammering in your chest. Then there was the squirting of the lube and you knew it was about to come. The cold goo was smeared on your folds and slightly inside of them by Quill’s rough fingers.

His tip, covered by a condom, was right at your entrance in a second, and in just one more, it was inside you. Your whole body was pushed forward with the force that Peter was thrusting. You were moaning and panting, and he was smiling between his own groans. His goal was to make sure you never had to fake an orgasm again. And with the way things were going you wouldn’t need to.

“Oh- Oh my god!” The way he was slamming into you was so quick and hard the pressure inside of you was building like a balloon being blown up.

His hands were holding you and keeping you from falling over. If they weren’t you would have smacked into the headboard. You couldn’t stay on your hands any longer, you dropped to your elbows, back making a beautiful arch for Quill.

The unbearable speed was tiring Quill out, but it was also making his orgasm come even quicker. He grabbed your shoulders, giving himself even more leverage to thrust with.

Your knees were trembling, jelly below you. But you wouldn’t have to hold that position for much longer. That balloon inside you popped like too much air had been blown into it. Your walls clenched around Peter’s cock, and the cum he was searching for yesterday covered his condom. He kept his pace, legs killing him and pelvis hitting your ass.

He let out a loud groan, and cum leaked and squirted from his tip. He let go of your shoulders, seeing a red handprint there. He pulled out of you, your cum dribbling out when he did. He smiled, satisfied that he had done what he set out to do.

Your lower half ached and you all but collapsed onto your pillows. You flipped over and saw Peter above you, buttcheeks against the heels of his feet and catching his breath. You laughed just a little and he opened his eyes.

“What?” he asked.

“That was something else,” you admitted with a smile.

“Good.” He crawled onto his stomach and laid next to you with his head on his arms. You scooted over closer to him, laying on your back with your hands set on your stomach.

“Y/N,” he sat up, “last night,” he started.

“I already know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I was just super tired last night and I didn’t want to deny you.” You looked down at your stomach but Peter turned your face back to his with his thumb.

“It’s okay, really. I’m sorry I didn’t catch that you weren’t in the mood. If you ever don’t want to do stuff just tell me okay? I won’t be upset. Besides, it’s not good for me if you aren’t having as much fun as I am. I have a right hand if I get that desperate.” He waved his right hand and grinned.

You giggled, “I promise I won’t do it again.”

#marveloneshot #marvel #marvel oneshot #marvel x reader #marvel smut #marvel fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #marvel fluff #marvelsmut #marvel one shot #peter quill fanfiction #peter quill smut #peter quill x reader #peter quill imagine #peter quill oneshot #peter quill #star lord #star lord fanfiction #star lord x reader #star lord smut #star lord x you #star lord x yn #peter quill x you #peter quill x yn #peter quill x fem!reader #fanfiction #fanfiction with smut #avengers x fem!reader #avengers oneshot #avengers

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

Can u make mc is the actual owner of Cerberus when he was a pup but villagers killed him because they thought that he was a monster and what how would the brothers and the undateable react to that when mc started to cry when she saw Cerberus headcanons

Oh Beans! I totally spaced when reading this and only have the brothers.

I'll post what I have here right now, but this will also be on AO3, so if you keep checking/subscribe there, you'll get a notification when I've added the undateables! It might not be for a while though, since I'm about to start school again ^-^;;

Who's a Good Boy?

The Guard Dog of the House of Hades. A vicious, three-headed hellhound that only the fallen Morningstar himself could command. Unfathomably massive. Devourer of demons, angels, and humans alike. Notoriously difficult to groom.

That is Cerberus, Lucifer’s extremely volatile pet named after a figure from Greek mythology for reasons no one truly understands. The creature has struck fear into the hearts of its housemates, and the Devildom at large, for what feels like ages.

So when MC cries upon seeing the wolf-dog for the first time, none of the brothers are especially surprised. How could a human cross such a monster’s path and live, after all?

Except those who weep in fear usually don’t then barrel full-tilt into one of the monster’s furry legs, babbling incoherently about how they thought they’d never see him again.

One of Cerberus’ heads leans down to the human, and the brothers panic, fearing the worst. It opens its mouth, revealing razor sharp fangs—

And licks MC’s entire body in a saliva-filled canine kiss. Now covered in tears and drool, MC laughs as they shake themself off, teasing the hellhound by saying that they already showered today, thank you very much.

“So, did you miss me as much as I missed you?” they ask, giving Cerberus’ central head some under the chin scritches (the only part of its head they can currently reach).

Cerberus boofs loudly, enormous tail waving back and forth at an increasingly hazardous pace.

Lucifer

What.

Lucifer is dealing with a Lot right now. He almost lost the exchange student to his own dog, except apparently Cerberus used to belong to MC?! How?!

He orders Cerberus to back away from the human, part of him still convinced that this is somehow a combination of MC being mistaken and Cerberus playing with its food, but the hellhound actually growls at him and picks MC up by the back of their shirt, tossing them onto its back.

MC, in response, finds new places to scritch.

He stares at the scene for a few minutes, unable to process what his life has become.

Later, once Cerberus finally agrees to let MC leave, they explain to him that Cerberus used to be a puppy in the human world.

Obviously, he was immediately noted as strange due to his three heads, and the people of MC’s village believed him to be an omen of death. MC themself didn’t care, and just saw “lil’ Cerb” as a puppy like any other, albeit an exceptionally drooly one.

He used to be more or less normal dog-sized, but it quickly became obvious that Cerberus was growing fast, and would be much larger than even a wolf by the time he was done. He also became harder and harder to hide.

Unfortunately, one night they awoke to poor Cerberus being chased out into the night by a mob, never to return.

They assumed the worst, mourned, and got on with their life as best as they could. But seeing Cerberus— they knew it was the same dog as soon as they saw him — brought all those emotions right back to the surface.

It’s not hard to adapt to these strange circumstances. Lucifer is actually quite relieved to have someone who is both willing and able to safely help him in caring for Cerberus, and both MC and the hellhound delight in each other’s company.

Lucifer also won’t deny the pride he feels upon seeing MC, the one he loves, getting along so well with his son dog.

Mammon

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The P A N I C of seeing MC within bite-chomp-murder-kill distance of Cerberus nearly killed Mammon.

What the hell is he supposed to do against that furball?! MC’s dead meat, a chew toy, he can’t save them again—

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY D O I N G ? !

Torn between passing out from fear and yelling about how brave and cool HIS human is!

So he kinda just… stands there, slack-jawed, as MC finds a spot on the creature that makes it thump its leg so hard the ground shakes.

Already he’s cooking up ways to use MC’s Cerberus-taming powers to get into all kinds of Shenanigans

Except he quickly learns that while Cerb is much more gentle with MC, it won’t let them distract it from its duties.

Has this resulted in MC semi-unwillingly riding Cerberus as it chases a terrified Mammon throughout the Devildom? Possibly~

Though when MC explains to Mammon how Cerberus used to be their dog, and what had happened to him… He can’t help but feel a touch more sympathetic to the hellhound.

Only a little bit though. It still does try and tear him apart whenever he gets too close, after all.

Leviathan

Levi’s fear metamorphoses into awe much faster than the others’. MC LOOKS SO COOL!! Riding the mighty Cerberus like a steed!

He desperately wishes he had the art skills to capture this iconic moment forever. But alas, a camera will have to do.

It’s a pretty good picture, the comparatively small human sitting on Cerberus’ back like something straight out of a fantasy novel. Levi even has a shot of them accidentally scritching a spot that makes Cerberus breathe fire (like a furry dragon!)

100% gets super emotional when MC tells him how they originally had— and lost— Cerberus as a puppy. It reminds him of his precious Henry 1.0 in some ways…

Begs MC to let him post the photos he took, along with their story as the caption. It’s just too good! It’s exactly like that arc in My Adventurer Boyfriend Keeps Adopting the Monsters He Beats in Combat and Now We’re Running Out of Space to Keep Them!

Like Mammon, Levi also quickly learns that just because he unlocked Cerberus’ tragic backstory, doesn’t mean that the hellhound will treat him any differently.

But sometimes, after a long “walk” with MC, the massive creature will be mostly asleep. And then, his hand shaking, MC will guide Levi to pet Cerberus’ flank. Its tail swishes softly, Levi’s own swaying in response.

Satan

He shakes his head and laughs, torn between relief, awe, shock, and lingering horror for MC’s safety. Of course they can tame even the ferocious Cerberus…

Guess all sorts of angry monsters like MC, huh?

He definitely wants to hear the story of MC owning Cerberus in the past, but first he’s going to drink in the absolutely dumbfounded expression on Lucifer’s face.

Toooootally doesn’t cry upon hearing MC’s story with Cerberus. No way, he’s still a cat person, he swears!

...No one is allowed to comment on Satan’s various burn injuries that occur over the next few weeks.

Not if they don’t want to be left with worse.

Asmodeus

OH SHIT!! Also, ewwwww

Once the fear for MC’s safety subsides, Asmo can appreciate the cuteness and hilarity that is MC with Cerberus. Truly no one is immune to their charms it seems, and their affections know no bounds.

...Is it that same quality that allows MC to continue to care for him and his brothers despite their past actions?

Asmo claims that the smoke from Cerberus’ fire breath is getting into his eyes, prompting him to leave. He has a good long stare-at-a-wall crisis for a bit.

Learning MC and Cerberus’ story only makes him mushier. Their tragedy got a happy ending after all!

As much as he loves MC’s charms, he still insists that they de-drool themself before touching him or any of his things. It stinks like brimstone!

Now if they need any help getting clean… That he can oblige~

Beelzebub

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH part 2

As one of the physically stronger brothers, when Lucifer’s not available it’s Beel’s job to groom Cerberus. He knows how dangerous that mutt is.

But apparently not for MC “Knows No Fear” over there!

As Cerberus continues to remain docile in MC’s presence, Beel starts to appreciate the cuteness of a human and their giant hellhound.

Unabashedly mushy upon hearing MC’s story about Cerberus. The themes of losing a loved one, only to find them much later in a new form… it kinda hits a little close to home for him.

(It’s not a perfect analogy: Beel knows MC isn’t Lilith, but having them as part of her legacy is undeniably cathartic. It’s why he doesn’t share these exact feelings with them, since he knows they’re uncomfortable with being compared to her excessively. Still, he can’t help but note the comparison.)

Naturally, he’s also very happy to have a very useful partner for grooming Cerberus. That living nightmare turns into an overgrown puppy whenever MC’s around. It’s much easier, and much safer, to work with this way.

Plus, it means he gets some quality time with MC! And there’s nothing quite like the fond smiles they share with him during these moments.

Belphegor

He has got to be dreaming. No way is this actually happening— nope, Mammon just stepped on his foot, and that hurt, he’s awake.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Does MC not fear death? Is that it? Did that part of their brain just completely shut down when he killed them?!

Unlike the others, he can’t really shut down his panic. Sure, right now Cerberus is acting all cuddly, but that could change on a dime. That dog only listens to Lucifer, and right now all Lucifer is doing is staring gormlessly at it!!!

He nearly loses his hand trying to pull MC away from the creature (which it naturally did Not appreciate).

“Belphie, wait! It’s okay,” MC reassures him even as smoke blows out of Cerberus’ nostrils.

They explain their history with the hellhound, how they rescued it as a puppy and then lost it to the angry and frightened people of their village.

Belphegor can’t help but recall their expression when he told them about his imprisonment, the outrage there mingling with a much older emotion. Is that why they were so quick to help him?

He’s still wary of Cerberus. He refuses to be fooled by any facades the creature may be putting up.

But one day, MC invites him to one of their “playdates”. Cerberus watches him like a hawk, growling when he first approaches, but MC just shushes and soothes the monster until it allows him closer.

And maybe, after a few tense minutes, the pair begin to relax around each other.

And maybe, Lucifer has a picture of MC and Belphegor curled up in Cerberus’ fur as the three take a mid-afternoon nap.

And maybe, Belphegor lets him keep it.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me cerberus #obey me scenarios #mine #my writing #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #mc