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xxoxobree · 10 months

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The Boy Is Mine

Miles Morales x Black Fem Spider-person Reader v Gwen Stacy.

Summary: He saved you and She didn’t want to and maybe she was right because the boy is now yours.

WARNINGS: Fighting, bad words, I think that’s it.

A/n: I was tied!!! Of seeing Miles cheat with Gwen so I took matters into my own hands. This is probably one of the best stories I’ve ever written too so don’t skip. I had so much fun writing this.

For the past 2 years, you've been the one and only Spider-woman. Everyone knows the story by now, bitten by a radioactive spider, and now you spend your time protecting the city. Everything was going great. Or that's what you wanted to believe as you fought Wilson Fisk, a person who is supposed to be behind bars. This Wilson was different - bigger, stronger, he was giving you a run for your money.

"What have they been feeding you at the Raft, Willie?" You quipped as you dodged a punch. "Haha, missed me," you said, landing a punch combo to his jaw.

"You stupid spiders are always in the way," he said, managing to catch you off guard, knocking you back. This fight is definitely gonna take a while.

"Who are you anyway, where's Spider-Man?" Fisk asked, walking menacingly toward you as you lay on the floor to catch a breath.

"I don't get paid enough for this," you said, getting up, squaring up with the large man.

Spider-Man, what are you talking about, Fisk?" You asked the man leaping backwards, dodging all of his hits.

"Enough of this talk, this ends now," Fisk said, running toward you. You charged back, your fist balled, about to strike, but he dodged and caught you by your throat.

"Another spider under my belt," Fisk said, laughing as he squeezed your throat. Gasping for air, you tried your best to break free from his grip, but your vision began to fade out. Your strength left you, and your eyes began to close. All you wanted to do was sleep, but you blinked your eyes again. Maybe you were hallucinating from the lack of oxygen, but a portal with glowing lights appeared, and two other spider personas flew forward, knocking Fisk out. You dropped to the floor, gasping for air, but still fainted in the process.

You probably weren't out for long, but you heard faint voices, a female and a male.

"What do we do, Gwen? We can't just leave her here."

"Miles, what are we supposed to do? We can't take her back to HQ."

You were too weak to actually open your eyes to see who was talking. Too weak to stop them from kidnapping you and taking you to wherever HQ was. You tried to let out a small groan, but it was useless.

"That's exactly what we need to do, Gwen. She needs medical care."

"Ughhh.... Fine, you grab her."

You heard footsteps move towards you, and your body being lifted before you succumbed to the darkness around you again.

✨HQ✨

Your bloodshot eyes shot open as you sat up, feeling around for your mask that wasn't on your face. You heard the fast-paced beeping of a heart monitor, letting you know your heart rate was up as you ripped all the pads off of you, standing ready to leave the room before two people came walking inside. You immediately got in defense mode as you studied them - an older man in a blue suit with a spider on the front, and a younger boy about your age in a black suit, also with a spider on the front.

"Where the fuck am I, and who are you?" you said, pointing.

"Welcome to HQ, Spiderwoman. I'm Spider-Man, and he's Spider-Man. Glad you survived. Miles, I'll leave you to it," the older man in the blue suit said, walking away.

Miles walked closer to you, setting off your spider senses. You closed one of your eyes, moving your head to the side, resting your hand on your head. "Don't come any closer," you said.

You're probably not used to that, but you're like me, it does that sometimes. I'm Miles.

"Yeah, I got that from earlier," you said, flopping back on the hospital cot, still very much in pain.

Miles wasn't in the room when they took off your mask, so this was the first time he saw your face. He scanned every detail of your face, taking in the way your plump lips formed into a natural pout, or maybe that was just because you were in pain. The way your brown eyes sparkled under the bright white light, he couldn't help but be captivated by your gaze. He loved your braids and the way your pink beads rattled every time you moved.

Miles felt something stir in the pit of his stomach the longer he looked at you. Maybe it was just gas from the spicy food he ate earlier, he thought, in denial of the growing attraction he felt for a stranger.

"Well, aren't you gonna tell me your name?" Miles finally mustered the courage to ask.

You turned to face him, the pain momentarily forgotten as you observed his silly smirk. You weren't usually the friendliest person, but there was something about Miles that felt different, something that made you want to open up.

"I'm Y/n," you replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Nice to meet you Y/n," Miles said, offering his hand. You looked at it. "I'd shake your hand, but I'm in too much pain right now," you said, causing both of you to laugh. There it was, that fluttering feeling in the pit of Miles' stomach again as he watched a beautiful smile grace your face.

"So, what is this place and why am I here?" you asked Miles, curiosity shining in your eyes. "This is the Spider Society. We brought you here because you were in bad shape from fighting Fisk," Miles explained. You coughed a bit. "Yup, he whooped my ass," you said, making both you and Miles burst into laughter again.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, Gwen stood outside the door, her eyes fixed on the scene unfolding inside. With each word you said to Miles, with each chuckle you elicited from him, the flames of jealousy ignited within her. Unable to bear it any longer, she burst into the room, startling both you and Miles.

"What the fuck? You didn't even have to do all that, shawty," You exclaimed. Miles stood up, a look of surprise on his face. "Gwen, this is Y/n, Spider-woman, the one we helped," he explained, pointing toward you.

"Oh, hi. I'm glad you're okay," Gwen said, her words laced with a hint of insincerity.

This your girl Miles ?" You asked.

"No, no." They both said in unison dragging their o's. It was obvious to you that there was more to the story by the way she busted into the room but that was none of your business.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Y/n. We should get going," Gwen said, gently tugging Miles towards the door.

Before leaving, Miles tossed you a watch that you effortlessly caught. "Maybe we can see each other again," he said, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. You smiled, watching him walk away.

"Hmmm," you hummed, examining the watch before clasping it onto your wrist. "Maybe we will, Spider-Man."

As Gwen and Miles made their way through the headquarters, Miles couldn't ignore Gwen's evident distress. He studied her face and body language.He called out to her, "Gwen?"

Getting no response, Miles tried a sing-songy voice, calling her name once more. "What, Miles?" she replied, her voice tinged with bitterness.

"I know you're upset. Do you want to talk or not?" Miles asked, genuinely wanting to understand what was bothering her.

"Why don't you go talk to Y/n?"

"Gwen, are you serious? I barely know her, but she's a cool girl," Miles defended, trying to reassure her.

"Oh, she's cool now?" Gwen's tone dripped with sarcasm and doubt.

Miles gently reached for Gwen's hand, stopping her in her tracks, making her face him directly. "Look, Gwen, you don't have to worry about her, okay?" he said softly.

Gwen's expression softened, and she nodded, a flicker of trust returning to her eyes. "Alright, Miles. She said giving him a small punch to the shoulder.

✨The Mission✨

You were back in your dimension 2 days post fight with Fisk feeling good as new. You were in bed, examining the watch Miles gave you, when a hologram of a woman appeared, making you scream.

"Oh hey there new recruit, I'm Lyla," she said, waving.

"Hi... Lyla," you said slowly, waving back.

"Sorry to scare you, but the boss needs you at HQ, your first mission... Yayyyy, so suit up," she said before disappearing.

"Uh, okay," you said, slipping into your skintight suit and mask, slapping on your watch, struggling to find out how to get it to work because no one gave you a tutorial. But you managed using your genius brain and stepped through the portal, gracefully landing in a dark room with monitors.

"Great, you're here......Miles!" the man you were familiar with but never got his name called out.

From the shadows, Miles emerged with a smile on his face. "Good to see you again, Mamita," he said.

"Oh, we're using pet names now?" you said, matching his flirty energy.

"That's enough," Miguel said as he stood before you two. "Anomaly in Earth 746, catch it."

"Anomaly?" you questioned.

"I'll tell you all about it later," Miles said, grabbing your hand, opening a portal, and pulling you through.

You dusted off your hands. The mission went well, a little too well, especially for a Goblin mission.

"You're pretty good, Miles."

"You too, Mamita. Gotta say, I doubted you a little after the Fisk fight," he teased.

"Oh, whatever," you said, rolling your eyes, chuckling a bit.

You moved closer to Miles, mere inches between you two, as you ran your fingers along his jawline.

Miles' breath hitched as you touched him, his hazel eyes expressing the tension between you two. There was no denying that Miles was handsome, and you were eager to learn more about him.

"So what dimension are you from, Papa?" you asked playfully, a flirtatious smile gracing your lips.

"1610. Maybe we could go there?" Miles responded, his voice filled with anticipation.

"Take a girl on a date first, Miles," you laughed, teasing him gently.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I..." Miles stammered, trying to explain himself.

"I would love to see your dimension, Miles," you interrupted, cutting him off.

And so, Miles took you to his dimension.

"This is Brooklyn." Miles said as you two stood atop the Williamsburg Bank building, you marveled at the city below. It was similar to your own home, yet distinctly different. Miles watched in awe as your eyes sparkled at the city, feeling a flutter in his stomach.

"It's beautiful, Miles," you whispered, taking a seat to soak in the view.

He walked forward and sat beside you, his face beaming with joy. You turned towards him, a warm smile on your lips.

"So, what's your story, big head?" you asked, playfully leaning on him.

"My story?" Miles responded, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"You're Spider-Man, Miles. What's your origin?" you asked , curious him.

"You know, regular Spider-Man stuff. I gained my powers and now I fight bad guys," Miles answered, a humble tone in his voice.

"That's not what I meant," you said, giving him a small shove. "What's the real story? I was bitten by a radioactive spider too, two years ago on a field trip to Oscorp. Your world doesn't seem to have Oscorp." You sighed, frustration and sadness mixing in your voice. "I got these crazy powers that I didn't know what to do with, so I decided to keep them a secret and pretend that I was a regular kid."

The weight of your words hung heavy in the air as you choked up, memories flooding back. Miles noticed your distress and perked up. "It's okay, you don't have to share if you don't want to," he said, trying to comfort you.

But something compelled you to open up, to let go of the burden you had been carrying alone for so long. You rested your hand gently on top of his. "I pretended to be some regular kid, and that led to me losing my mom. And from then on, I decided to help everyone else," you finished.

Miles's heart stung as he listened to your story. "I lost someone close to me too, my uncle Aaron. He was shot saving me," he shared, the pain evident in his voice.

A sense of understanding and connection washed over you both. You leaned your head on his shoulder. "See, that's your story, Papa," you said softly, appreciating the bond that formed between you. "You know, Miles, it's so nice to have someone to talk about this stuff with now," you added, gazing at the sun setting on the horizon.

That moment solidified your blooming relationship with Miles. Whenever you had free time, you would pop into his dimension, and vice versa. Now, in your suit, you found yourself in dimension 1610, patiently waiting for Miles to catch up as you swung through the bustling city.

"Keep up, Miles," you teased, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you effortlessly jumped from building to building, landing with grace. The two of you were headed back to his house, where Jeff and Rio, his parents, adored you and had grown fond to your presence after all the time you spent with Miles.

They couldn't wrap their head around the whole different dimension thing and just assumed Miles' imagination had run wild. You two walked through his front door.

"Hey Mama Rio," you greeted Miles' mom.

"Hey Mija."

"Hey Mom," Miles said, hugging his mom before the two of you walked into his room. You two were too caught up in conversation to notice a guest. Gwen. She cleared her throat, making you two snap your attention towards her.

"Gwen, hey," Miles said nervously. "What are you - what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you because I barely see you anymore, but now I know why," Gwen answered.

You snickered a bit, knowing you essentially snatched Miles from Gwen.

"Oh, that's funny?" Gwen asked.

You threw your hands up in surrender, not wanting to get into it with her.

"We were about to watch a movie, order some pizza. You can stay if you want," Miles offered to pacify Gwen, but he was hoping she'd turn it down. He cherished his alone time with you.

"No, it's fine, Miles. I'll leave," Gwen said with a hint of frustration in her voice.

"Uh, okay. Bye," Miles said

"Bye, Gwendolyn," you added, unable to hide the small smirk on your face.

Gwen turned to you and asked, "You know what, can we talk outside, Y/n?"

Rolling your eyes, you agreed, "Sure, why not?" You grabbed Miles' hand, signaling for him to come along.

"Alone," Gwen insisted, her tone unwavering.

"Okay... I'll be back, papa," you said to Miles, giving him a smile and a pat on the cheek.

As you followed Gwen out of the window and onto the roof, you could feel the tension building up. Once you reached a secluded corner, she turned to face you, arms folded.

"What is your problem?" she asked, her voice filled with accusation.

"Girl, what are you talking about?" you answered defensively.

"Miles," she replied, her tone laced with frustration.

"What about him? He's fine, great even," you said, walking closer to her.

"Don't play dumb, Y/n," Gwen snapped.

"What are you getting at, Gwen?" you said, your tone becoming pointed as you grew tired of the conversation.

"He's mine, Y/n, and you're trying to steal him away," her voice filled with possessiveness.

You couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Yours?" you asked, shaking your head. "Gwen, you lost him the day you two saved me."

As the words left your mouth, the truth hung heavy in the air. Gwen had been holding onto her feelings for Miles while pretending everything was okay. But deep down, she knew that the connection between you and Miles was undeniable.

What you didn't see coming was a slap across your face from Gwen, not thinking she was bold enough to do it. The sting of her actions lingered in the air as shock resonated through your entire being. And what Gwen didn't see was Miles, camouflaged and watching you two from a distance. He didn't hear anything you two talked about, but he sure did see the slap.

As the pain subsided, you didn't retaliate. Deep down, you and Gwen both knew that you had won this battle, that Miles was now dedicated to you.

"Why would you do that, Gwen?" You heard a voice behind you, and turned to see Miles standing there, his eyes filled with disappointment.

You watched in satisfaction as Gwen's eyes widened, realizing that she had not only hurt you but also jeopardized her chances with Miles. She had unknowingly made it even easier for you to snatch his affection away from her.

"Miles, I..." Gwen stammered, unable to find the right words to justify her actions.

"Why would you hit her?" Miles asked, his voice filled with a mix of anger and hurt.

"You didn't hear what she said, Miles. She's trying to tear us apart. You were mine," Gwen spewed out, desperately clinging to her fading hopes.

"Yours? I'm not some object, Gwen," Miles retorted, his voice laced with disappointment. "Is that why you brought her outside? To hit her?"

A heavy silence hung in the air as Gwen struggled to find an explanation, her words failing her. The truth had been laid bare, and Miles saw her for who she truly was.

"Save it, Gwen," Miles said, his voice firm. "You just showed me the type of person you really are. I've been pining after you for months, and you always brushed me off. But now, now I have someone who actually likes me back."

With those words, he took your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

You looked at Gwen, a smug look on your face as you squeezed Miles' hand tighter.

"You don't mean that, Miles."Gwen said.

"Yes, I do," Miles turned to you. "She likes me back, and she's the most caring, sweetest, funniest person in this dimension and every other," Miles said, making you tear up a bit, your lip bottom poking out.

"You're so cute when you do that," Miles said.

Gwen watched as her heart slowly broke. She had played with Miles,but now she had lost the game. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She should be the one he said all those things to. The tears pricked her eyes.

"Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?" The words echoed in Gwen's head, the final blow that made her tears roll down her face.

"Of course, I will, papa," you said, jumping on Miles and giving him a tight hug before pulling back and giving him a big kiss, your first one in front of his former crush.

You and Miles turned to Gwen, watching as she continued to cry.

"You should go, Gwen," you said, your heart aching a bit for the girl, but not a lot.

Miles grabbed your hand as the two of you walked off toward the stairwell, leaving Gwen behind.

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cyclotis · 1 month

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Full Name: Ewan Lowe

Background on Name: My parents helped me pick it.

Nickname(s): Cyclotis

Nickname Background: Vigilante alias

Birth date: September 28th, not totally sure what year

Birth place: Maryland? I think, it's hard to be certain

Age: Uh... Time is kinda weird, but late 20s?

Visual Age: Late 20s

Zodiac/Astrological signs: Libra sun, no way to know much more than that

Blood type: A

Social Class: Lower-middle class? Not really relevant anymore.

Religious Values: Pantheistic, very nature-centric

---

Gender: Trans male

Height: 5'7

Weight: 200-ish lbs

Body type: Athletic

Race/Species: Human, mixed race

Eye color and Shape: Hooded/round, brown

Glasses/Contacts?: Yeah. Usually black plastic frames

Hair color and Style: Kinda dark brown, long-ish, pushed back

Fur color and Area: None

Additional Appendages: None

Skin tone and type: Medium

Favored Clothing Style: Earthy, kinda boho

Why?: Because... It's what I like?

Least Favored Clothing Style: Tight, restrictive clothes

Why?: I just feel awkward in them

Important/Usual Accessories: Earth totem

Tattoos: None

Story Behind Tattoo: Not applicable

Piercing(s): Ear lobes

Scar(s): Some, they kinda come with the job

Other Marks: None

Predominant Features: I'm not sure. I'd say my style?

Visual Health Level: I'd say I'm fairly fit, but people tend to assume I'm "too fat" for what I do (which. Bullshit. But whatever.)

Spending Habits: I don't need to buy much of anything, but I've always been fairly frugal. I was raised to repair, repurpose, and reuse anything I could.

---

Strengths: Grounded, analytical, persistent

Weaknesses: Overprotective, stubborn

Weapons: Preferably sticks, but I can use pretty much whatever is on hand

Habits: Touching my hand to my totem before attacks

Familiars/Summons/Pets: Kudzu (male Virginia Opossum), Acacia (female Children's Python), and Felding (male lab/hound mutt)

Fighting Style: My mom taught me with a mix of Capoeira, N'golo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, stick fighting, and her own personal techniques

Old Injuries: Plenty, but I've been patched up well enough that they aren't really an issue

Movement Issues: I'm not really the most flexible or acrobatic person, especially considering my teammates, but I can do what I need to do

Speed: Eh... Not the best. I'm not slow, I'm just not really built for speed

Agility: Pretty good. I have great balance and can do some acrobatic strikes

Strength: Probably my best aspect. I'm a lot stronger than anyone expects, especially with my totem

Stamina: Definitely solid. I mean, I'm human, of course I get tired. But I can usually keep up for a while

Defensive Ability: Really good. I can take a lot before it takes me down

Magical Ability: Not the big, fighting kind. I have a witchcraft practice, I'm not a dramatic sorcerer. However, I do have powers because I'm the earth totem bearer. So I have earth/plant powers

Planning/Strategic Ability: Not really my strong suit, because I don't like making decisions to put my teammates in harm's way. I am good at planning, just not enough of a leader for it

Memory: Not the best. I have a great memory, but I struggle to recall things, especially under pressure

Luck: I think I'm fairly lucky, although I'd say that it's more due to my spiritual work than any innate fortune

Reaction Speed: Fast reflexes, not so much when adjusting to changes

Learning Curve: I think I'm a fairly fast learner

---

Alignment: Chaotic good

Occupation: Um... A bit complicated

Love Interest(s): Rip Hunter. We were friends when we were kids, then dated for a while as teens. Once I joined the team we've been off and on again, things are just... Complicated

Likes: Being outdoors, plants, animals, being active

Dislikes: Corporations (fucking pollution), shitty people in general, being cooped up inside

Fears: Abandonment, failing others

Wishes: For things to work out for me for once

Personality: Affectionate, protective, generous, blunt, determined, loyal

Favorite Color and Why: Green, I just like it

Favorite Music and Why: Pretty varied, my favorite artists are ABBA and Noah Kahan

Food: Vegetarian. My favorite food is pasta with mushrooms and spinach

Literature: I like a lot of short stories and poetry

Expressions: I don't think I have any... I'll add later if I'm wrong

Favored Expletives: I mean... I don't know about favored, but I know I curse a lot

Manner of Transportation: The Waverider usually now, otherwise whatever is available

Hobbies: Hiking, bouldering, rock climbing, martial arts training, listening to music, reading, pretty much anything with animals

Favorite Childhood Memory: When me and Rip were teens, we snuck out to watch a huge meteor shower when I was kinda technically grounded (sorry to my parents for that one)

---

Song: "All My Love" or "Northern Attitude" by Noah Kahan

Taste: I... Have no idea. How would I know what I taste like?

Smell: Earthy. I like patchouli, pine, cedar, etc.

Representation in Psychic Endeavors: Not really my thing

Myers-Briggs Personality Type: INFP-T

Enneagram Type and Wing: Type 6, Wing 5

Character Flaws: I'm stubborn, grumpy, hold grudges, and can be kinda pessimistic

Mannerisms: Quite gestures, tends to stay in the background

Darkest Secret and Who Knows About it: I'm definitely not sharing that here. Only Rip and a couple of my teammates know

Personal Triggers: A lot honestly... The worst is probably explosions, artillery, etc.

---

Extra Notes: None that I can think of right now, I can add on later if I need to

Family Members, and relationship with each: Franklin Cooley (father), Dana Mason (mother), Jahmiah Lowe (adoptive dad), Novanna Lowe (adoptive mom)

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hello-everyfandom · 4 years

Text

“I’m not very good at flirting, am I?”

Warnings: Cringey attempts at flirting?

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Words: 2k

Summary: Remus is nervous for your first study date, or date? Is it a date?

You were quite oblivious when it came to people who fancied you. Howard Lewis, from house Ravenclaw, practically had heart eyes for you and attempted to ask you out every Saturday morning whilst you drank your tea. The only response he was given was a hum and a sweet reply back,

“I’m not planning on doing anything but reading my novel,”

You frustrated a lot of boys in your year, and even in the year above. You must know, right? You must’ve known that at least half of your house and even more boys from the other houses have tried to flirt with you and received nothing back. But you didn’t. You loved blind. And, not to mention, quite peculiar as you obliviously ignored your suitors. You spent days feeling quite lonely and even longed for a handsome fellow to sweep you off your feet and into the forbidden forest. Remus Lupin thought you were peculiar as well, but not peculiar as in a bizarre fashion, instead, he thought of you strangely amazing. He found himself gifted the seat to the right of yours during Transfigurations and was kept his glances towards you to only a few per minute. He was smitten. And he was speechless when you approached him one Saturday morning, unaware of your rejection to a Mr. Lewis of Ravenclaw, and asked him to study with you.

“Hello Remus,” you said, he greeted you politely and with reddened ears, he knew he would get teased for later, “I was wondering if you were not too busy after lunch if you could help me study a bit of Transfigurations. I find it actually quite difficult and would rather McGonagall not deducted points from my house.”

Remus nodded quickly and stuttered out, “Yes, I. Where should I meet me? You? I mean, you.” he quickly wanted to slam his face into his porridge but you seemed to enjoy his response and giggled.

“There’s a tree near the lake; if you bring your textbook I can bring a blanket for us to sit on?” you offered, “I swear I have the comfiest blankets in my dorm.” Remus sent you an embarrassed smile and watched you longingly as you spun and left the Great Hall, a steaming mug of tea in your hand.

Sirius clapped his hand on Remus’ shoulder rather harshly, he’d say, and let out a bark, “How the hell did you do it?” Remus snapped out of his gaze to look at his three friends who stared at him in wonder.

“Do... what? Exactly?” Remus begged his face to go back to his original pale colour and stirred his breakfast with a spoon.

“I believe you have a date with a Ms. Y/L/N.” Sirius grinned boyishly and hooted, “Remus, how did you do it!”

“Sirius, get your hand off me before I feed it to the giant squid and leave your body for dessert, and it’s not a date,” Remus grumbled and shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“No, really, mate, how did you manage to get a date with Y/L/N? How did you get her to ask you on a date?” Peter pushed closer to Remus and jokingly added, “Oh Moony, you know love potions are illegal to give to other students, correct?” Remus shoved Peter aside and looked for James for help.

“It’s not a date! Prongs?”

James put his hands up in defense, “Not me, Moons, I can’t help you as I think you’ve just scored yourself a date with Y/N. But, what I can help you with is Lewis as I think he’s going to absolutely fuck you up by the looks of it,” James stood up and did the ‘I see you’ motion towards Howard and yelled, “Oi, Leeeeewis, you jealous? Yeah, you better be. Fix your bloody eyes, mate, you’ve got a starin’ problem!”

This time, Remus actually did slam his head into the breakfast table.

Lunch flew by and Remus couldn’t do anything but fiddle. He had run to and from the common room and dorms, a few times just to ensure he had all the right things. To say he was nervous was an understatement. Was this a date? Did you want to date him? Why him? Remus flopped down on the couch next to Sirius and buried his face in his hands.

“Alright, I give up. I need your help,” he mumbled,

“You? Ask ME for help? The god of dating and sex himself?” Sirius asked dramatically, placing a hand on his chest and inhaling sharply.

“Oh will you just- sod off will you? And just tell me, exactly how you flirt?”

“Moony we only have a few hours, I cannot possibly teach you the essence of the Black seduction in a few hours.”

“The only thing you’ll be seeing is black unless you-”

Sirius shot his head back and laughed, “Relax Moony, perhaps we should do some yoga to loosen you up. Are your buttocks in a twist? You can tell me.” Suddenly Remus regretted asking Sirius for help but took notes on his flirting technique anyways.

“Oh hello! Come join me, please!” Remus felt everything he had eaten and all of his organs drop, his tongue swelled up and he began to sweat under his sweater. Seeing you in the fall light made him internally (and externally) swoon but he attempted to take a deep breath. He began to try and mimic the way Sirius walked through the halls, putting swagger in his hips. “Remus, you’re being silly, perhaps you’ve been spending too much time with your silly boys, come sit! Don’t be shy.” You smiled again, making Remus forget the stupid stupid walk he learned from Sirius and just sat down.

“You were right,” he said in surprise, “this blanket is extremely soft.”

“Would I lie to you, Mr. Lupin? Feel free to lie on it, I’ve taken a few naps on it ‘mself, though I probably should’ve focused on my potions essay instead.” Remus would rather nap on your soft thighs and feel your fingers slide through his hair, but he chuckled and replied,

“If I did, who would study with you?”

You pouted your lip slightly, making Remus clench the book he was taking out, “I suppose you’re right. I couldn’t fathom studying with anyone else.” Were you flirting with him? You seemed to lean closer to Remus, wanting to feel his warmth. But, Remus couldn’t place whether or not you were acting flirtatious due to the immense amount of nerves in his system. The two of you began to study, Remus would provide a word and you a definition. Much to his nervous delight, your conversation ran rather smoothly and no awkward lull of silence was provided.

Might as well go for it, Remus thought and glanced at the piece of parchment he tucked away in his bag. He cleared his throat and rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants.

“So, Y/N...” he trailed off, almost getting lost again in your gaze,

“Yes?”

“You’re so cute, I think if, I think if you were, I think if you were a boggart, no,” he fumbled quickly with his words making you furrow your eyebrow.

Perhaps he is having a stroke? You thought.

“If, I think. If you were a... since you’re so cute, and if, a boggart you were, or I’d have... you’d be a.. cute... one?” If Remus could die, he would’ve. On the spot. If he could be struck by lightning and guided to the pearly gates that muggles seem to dream about, he would. In fact, he would even rather be sent to the fiery pits of hell than listen to what he was saying. His attempt at flirting had gone disastrously as he licked his lips in anticipation of your reply. He watched as you looked at him and began to blink rapidly. A wide smile spread across your lips as you let a small laugh slip out.

“Remus Lupin,” You began, sitting up, “Are you flirting with me?” You continued to giggle, almost shyly.

“What? No! I mean, yes. Maybe? Because I said, the boggart, and cute and...”

Remus Lupin, you are an idiot. He thought

“I’m not very good at flirting, am I?” he stared at your smiling face before realizing how mortifying the last minute of his life was. “Excuse me while I jump into the lake now.” You bit your lip to stifle the laughter and held his forearm.

“Remus,” you said softly, “I thought it was quite lovely actually.”

He sighed and shook his head, “you don’t have to protect my feelings, Y/N, I’m more than happy to die over his embarrassing moment. I feel like a right and foolish prat right about now.”

“I’ll say it again, I thought it was very sweet. I’ve never been flirted before, so it was new for me as well.” Remus’ eyes nearly bulged out of his skull as he became redder and shook his head.

“No no, that’s not true. I know half a dozen Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who are mad for you! And Howard Lewis even asks you out every Saturday!”

Now it was your turn to be confused, “What are you talking about, Remus?”

“The... the!!” Remus was exasperated, “boys fancy you.”

“No, they don’t?” You began making Remus want to rip his hair out.

“Yes, they do!”

“Remus, no boy has fancied me in the entirety of my life, you must be mad.”

“Well, I fancy you!” He blurted out making you instantly blush,

“Oh.”

“Yes. And. I’m terribly and dreadfully awful at flirting but I wanted to try and show you that I do actually, um, like you.”

“Oh,” It became quiet, not silent, but quiet. “Well, I,”

“Y/N, you don’t have to say anything, we can forget about it and just study.” You tried to speak again but he cut you off, “Really, it’s okay. It was foolish and stupid and dumb and immature-”

“Don’t I get to say anything, Mr. Flirtatious?” You teased and brushed off your skirt, “I fancy you as well if you didn’t pick that up already, and truthfully, I did find your flirting, while disastrous, to be extremely and utterly adorable.” Remus blinked before an awkward, toothy smile rose. “I’m glad we got that settled then, yeah?” You nodded at Remus before he continued after you,

“Now, may I at least ask you a few questions?”

You hummed in response.

“So is, is this a date?”

“Do you want it to be?” you asked,

“Yes.”

“Then it’s a date.”

“Lovely,” Remus felt more and more joyous, “now, did you really not know that every boy in Hogwarts was pining over you?”

You quickly shook your head, “Why would I? I haven’t given a care about any of them until you came ‘round.”

“And the blanket?”

“I brought the blanket so we could read and lay on it,”

Remus was satisfied with his answers and longed to lean in to kiss you. He, and his absolutely dumb-witted nerves, decided to save it for a second date and held your hand instead. Fingers threaded and interlocked, you gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“That reminds me, do you have that extra book in your bag I seemed to have misplaced mine and I-” you reached into Remus’ bag and before he could react, you pulled out the piece of parchment with all the bloody pickup lines Sirius had fed him.

“Is this...?” You asked,

“Yes.” He quickly answered. Your eyes scanned the page in amusement.

“Why didn’t you go with ‘Are you a snitch? Because you’re the greatest catch here,’ I think that one is much better suited than ‘uh, cute, boggart, uh, you, and if I were,” you mocked him jokingly before leaning back comfortably on his chest. He could sing with happiness and leap off the face of the Earth.

“Hey, so maybe flirting isn’t my strong suit.”

“I say this as sweetly as I can, I think you better stick to Transfigurations instead.”

#remus lupin #remus lupin imagines #marauders imagine #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin imagine #sirius black #sirius black imagines #marauders imagines #marauders fanfiction #marauders #remus lupin headcanon #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter oneshot #harry potter headcanon

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cocastyle · 4 years

Text

Robin — TWO

Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 4,476

A/N - new update for Robin!! yay!! this series as been so much fun writing so far and I’m overwhelmed by the unexpected love for this series so far! I hope you all continue to enjoy it as much as I! I have a lot in store for our very own Batman and Robin duo :))

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

R O B I N

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹ TWO ◃:✮.❃⭒

Dear Aimee,

This week has been especially shitty.

We lost Connor to what looked like a really big ant. It helps me to draw them. I try to capture their essence, scribble down some notes on how to kill them.

Turns out Robin's katanas can pretty much solve anything. Although, I'm pretty sure it's just because Robin's the one wielding them.

Sometimes I think drawing them is the only way I know how to cope with these things. That and having Y/N. She helps me a lot more than I give her credit for.

I owe her my life.

We've lost a lot of people over the years. You'd think you'd get numb to it after a certain point.

You don't.

- - -

Y/N walked through the hallway with a small skip in her step. Despite everything that had happened in the past week, she still managed to feel happy just at the thought of being with her best friend. With her activities for the morning already done, she was determined to spend some time with Joel who she knew was still a bit down on himself about what had happened during the breach.

She had set up the target in the room where Gertie and Mav1s were, knowing that the boy had been begging her to teach him how to shoot for a while now. She had about a half an hour before she had to be back with the hunting squad, so she was hurrying to get to Joel so that they could have more time working with the crossbow.

She was almost to his room when she heard his voice echoing down the hall. Furrowing her eyebrows, she picked up her speed and went pass his bedroom until she was at the radio room. She poked her head inside, her eyes landing on the boy who sat at the desk with the radio turned on.

"This is 7045. Come in, 3022. I repeat, come in, 3022. Over," Joel said, his eyes flickering over the map in front of him where he had 'X's marked everywhere except for the circle around their bunker and 3022.

"This is 3022. What is it now, Ray?" a voice replied over the radio making Joel sit up a bit more.

"Hey, Janice. No, it's actually. . .It's, uh, Joel," he told her making Y/N smile softly as she watched the boy.

There was a long moment of silence before the woman chuckled, "Oh. Joel."

"Yeah," he replied, smiling slightly.

"All right. Hold on one second," Janice said. "Aimee, it's Ray!"

Y/N’s smile faltered at that, muttering softly to herself, "Aimee, of course."

"Joel," the boy corrected with a small sigh into the radio. "Thanks, Janice."

"Joel! Hey!" a new voice said, instantly making the boy perk up as a big grin took over his features.

"Hey, Aimee! Hi!" Joel exclaimed. "How are you?"

"Hi. Yeah. I, uh. . .I'm good," Aimee told him.

"It's so good to hear your voice," Joel admitted, relaxing a bit at finally being able to hear her voice once again.

Y/N watched him for a moment longer before smiling sadly and turning to walk away. She knew how much getting to talk to Aimee meant to him, so she wasn't about to interrupt him with something he honestly probably didn't care to do. Besides, she wanted to give him some privacy to talk to the girl he was in love with. After all, that's what she would've wanted if it were her having to talk to Joel over the radio.

The girl walked aimlessly down the hallway, lost in her own thoughts about Joel before she was snapped back to attention when a voice softly called out, "Y/N, are you alright?"

She came to a stop, her head lifting up to notice Kala standing in front of the memorial they had for all the lost colony members. The girl's eyes were on her, concern evident despite the sadness in her eyes.

Y/N gave her a forced smile and said, "I'm fine, Kala."

Kala just stared at her before giving her a sad smile and whispering, "Joel's talking with Aimee again, isn't he?"

Y/N looked away at that, swallowing thickly before asking, "How. . .how are you?"

Kala went quiet and glanced down at the hat in her hands that had belonged to Connor. When she continued to not respond, Y/N walked across the room and pulled the girl in for a hug. Kala melted into her embrace, her body shaking a bit as she softly cried.

"I know," Y/N whispered, holding onto the girl tightly in hopes she would realize she was no alone. "Connor. . ." She trailed off as she felt her own sadness bubbling into her throat. After all, Connor and her had been close. He was a part of the hunting team with her. He had been like brother to her and she had lost him. "He was a great person and he loved you so much. He died protecting you."

Kala sniffled and nodded her head. "I know," she said, her voice cracking a bit.

The sound of footsteps approaching pulled the two apart and they turned to see Joel walking in. He plopped down on a seat beside one of the tables, a numb and upset look on his face that made Y/N’s heart break.

"I'm going to go put Connor's hat up," Kala muttered, her hand gently squeezing Y/N’s arm in order to pull the girl's attention back to her. "Thank you."

Y/N nodded and Kala gave her a small smile before walking back over to the memorial while Y/N walked over to Joel. She sat down in the seat beside him, the boy instantly looking her way while she offered him a small smile.

"Hey," she whispered. "How are you?" Joel looked away at that and Y/N sighed, "Joel, you need to put the breach thing behind you, okay? No one was expecting it, so you can’t blame yourself for being scared."

"But you're not scared," Joel retorted, his head still hung low.

"Are you kidding me? I'm always scared," Y/N told him, her words making him look up at her. "It's my fear that keeps me going.It's my fear that pushes me through whatever challenges may come my way."

Y/N didn't go into the fact that her fear was never truly about herself. Her fear had always and would always be for Joel's life. For if she died, then that meant Joel could die simply because she wouldn't be there to protect her. And that's what scared her more than anything in the world.

The thought of Joel dying.

So in her mind, she survived for him. She survived so that Joel would survive.

The boy was looking at her, still not saying anything. Sighing, the girl reached out and placed a hand on top of his own. She gave him a reassuring smile before saying, "Even Batman was afraid every once in a while, Joel. That's what makes him human."

Joel smiled a little at that, squeezing her hand and rubbing his thumb over the top of her skin while Y/N smiled back.

She let go of his hand and leaned back in her chair, propping her feet up on the table as she looked to the boy. "How's Aimee?" she asked.

Joel looked at her in surprise, not sure how she could've known he was talking to the girl, before saying, "I think she's fine. We. . .we didn't get to talk much before the radio cut off."

Y/N frowned, "I'm sorry, Joel."

Joel smiled weakly and looked down at the table before whispering, "I just miss her."

Y/N felt her heart ache at the sight of him and she quickly dropped her feet to the ground before wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leaning her head against him. "I know," she whispered softly, ignoring the way her heart slightly broke knowing that even after seven years of not seeing her, Joel still loved Aimee.

Y/N had gone through seven years of watching him pine after a girl who barely even seemed to understand what she had when he was her boyfriend. Yet she still stuck by his side even though she found herself falling in love with him even more with each second that passed.

Joel let out a soft sigh and leaned his head against her own, relishing in the comfort of his best friend while his heart ached for the girl he loved.

Still oblivious to the fact that the girl holding onto him loved him more than Aimee ever could.

- - -

"I wanna know how it got in," Karen demanded, frowning from where she sat down at the table. The whole colony was there, the discussion about how the monster had gotten in finally being brought up after giving everyone enough time to mourn.

Y/N was watching Joel, her eyes flickering over the boy who sat on the opposite end of the table with his gaze on the table and a numb look upon his face. Frowning, she pulled her gaze away and looked to Karen. "You sure about that?" Y/N asked. "Sometimes it's better not knowing."

Karen was hesitant, knowing that what the girl said was true. After all, the hunting team didn't always tell them what went on unless everyone agreed on it. It was better for some people to have to worry about certain things over others. When she gave a small nod in response, Y/N looked to Tim and gestured for him to go ahead.

With Connor gone, Y/N was one of the designated leaders at the moment. She had a bit of a reputation in the colony anyways, having worked her way to top hunter on their squad within a matter of weeks. So Tim didn't hesitate to comply to her orders, looking around at the others as he explained, "It appears to have ripped through one of our perimeter defenses."

"What, it ripped through steel?" Anna Lucia asked, having not known that bit of information.

"Y/N, Anderson, and I resealed the breach point and the vent. Nothing's getting in that way again," Tim assured them.

"And if they do, we'll be ready. I set up triggers around possible breach points to help alert us when something's attempting to get in. Next time one tries to strike, the team and I will be out there ready to take it down," Y/N said.

"But why did it happen?" Karen asked.

"It was a freak occurrence," Ray told her. "There's no reason to think it'll happen again."

"Ray's right. We only took precautions just to be safe," Y/N spoke up. "We should try to stay calm. There's no use worrying—"

"How far away is Aimee's colony?" Joel spoke up, his voice making them all go silent while the boy looked over at them.

"What?" Tim asked.

"Aimee's colony," Joel repeated, ignoring the fact that everyone's eyes were now on him including Y/N who looked like she didn't understand what was happening. "How far away is it?"

"About eighty five miles," Ray answered.

"How long does that take to get there?" Joel questioned. Y/N sat up a bit, her feet that she had propped up on the table falling to the ground as she stared at her best friend.

"Joel, you're not actually thinking of going?" Tim said confused.

"Tim, just. . .humor me," Joel pleaded. "How long?"

"Seven days," Y/N spoke up, causing the boy to look her way. She was watching him, her eyes flickering over his face while she had a completely blank look upon her face. It was enough to make Joel still, for he had never seen her act that way, but he was too focused on her words to speak up about it. "Minimum."

"An armed and trained hunting party would be lucky to last fifty miles on the surface," Anna Lucia said, the others all looking at each other and mumbling in agreement while Joel looked off in thought and Y/N continued to study him with narrowed eyes. "But you, Joel. . ."

"All right," Tim spoke up, noticing the way Y/N had obviously gotten distracted by what her best friend was saying. "Now I need volunteers to help reinforce some of the outer perimeter."

Everyone began to speak up, agreeing to help out, but Joel spoke out again, his voice making everyone freeze as he said, "I'm gonna go."

Everyone was dead silent as they looked to him, Y/N’s face growing a bit pale while Joel ignored her gaze. "It's an impossible journey, Joel," Tim told him.

Joel shook his head and stood up. "No, I'm serious," he said. "I love you guys, but Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy, and she's only eighty five miles away. And I'm gonna go see her." He let out a breath he had been holding before smiling slightly. "That felt awesome." He then turned and walked out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.

All eyes turned to Y/N who was staring at the place Joel had just been with tears in her eyes. All she could hear were Joel's words playing over and over in her head.

Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy.

It took her a moment, but Y/N was up and out of her seat without a second thought. She ran out of the room, leaving the others to sigh and exchange a look for they knew Joel's words had hit her harder than he meant to let them.

By the time she reached Joel's room, her tears were long gone and her mind was already made up. She appeared in the doorway, her eyes instantly locking on Joel who was shoving his few belongings into his backpack. He glanced up at her, his eyes hesitating on her form for a moment before he looked back down.

"I have to go, Robin. I can't stay here anymore and just wait for something to happen. I'm done waiting," he told her, shoving his journal and pencils into his backpack as he did so.

"I know," Y/N replied. "You have to do this. You should go." Joel looked up to her at that, his face displaying a look of shock for a small second. She smiled softly at him before walking towards him and saying, "But I'm coming too."

"You're. . .you're what?" Joel asked in surprise, his eyes flickering over her face as she came to stop in front of him.

"Joel, you're the only person who makes me happy," she began, her words making his heart skip a beat which he quickly pushed aside as nothing. "I can't let you just leave without me."

Joel was reminded of what he said earlier and his face softened as he reached out and cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "You know I didn't mean that you don't make me happy, right?" he eyes searching her own to make sure she understood what he was saying. "Cause you do, Robin. You're the one that keeps me going every day."

He let go of her and turned to his backpack which he zipped up, missing the way Y/N’s face heated up for a second due to his words and display of affection. She quickly pushed her feelings aside, knowing Joel always had been an affectionate person. It was just how their friendship worked.

"But I have to go see Aimee," Joel continued, letting his gaze fall back upon his best friend. "And I can't just make you come with."

"You're not making me do anything," Y/N assured him. "I'm coming. We stick together through everything, remember?" She took a step forward before holding her hand out to the boy. "Batman and Robin, right?"

Joel hesitated as he looked to her, a smile slowly making its way onto his face while he felt his heart swell with an emotion that he pushed aside as nothing else but relief in getting to keep her by his side.

"Batman and Robin," he agreed, clasping his hand in her own while they exchanged small smiles.

Y/N gave him a short nod before taking a step back which caused Joel to frown because it suddenly felt like he was missing a warmth he hadn't known had been there when she was right in front of him.

"I'm going to go grab my things," Y/N said. "I'll meet you by the exit." And with that, she ran out of the room, leaving Joel to stare after her. He was a bit confused as to what he had just felt, but didn't think much of it as he turned back to his bag and smiled.

"I'm coming, Aimee," he whispered, thoughts of reuniting with the love of his life running through his head.

- - -

Dear Aimee,

I am done hiding. I am done waiting for things to get better.

It's time to take matters into my own hands. Time to let someone else make the minestrone.

I'm taking a radio, even though it doesn't have power. But I'm gonna take it anyway.

Robin's coming with me. She's just the best, you know?

I didn't want to admit it, but the thought of leaving her behind had scared me. Knowing she'll be there with me every step of the way, it provides me a sort of comfort that I can't even begin to describe.

I can do anything if I have her with me. Walking eighty five miles through a monster infested world will be a piece of cake.

- - -

When Y/N was done packing, she went off to find the rest of the colony, knowing she would have to explain to them that she was going with Joel even if they might not want her to. Muttering rehearsed lines to herself, Y/N walked into the main room where the colony was all huddled around a map and writing things down.

"Guys," Y/N began, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm—"

However, she didn't get a chance to finish before she was being tackled in a hug by Kala. Y/N fell into a stunned silence, hesitantly hugging the girl back in confusion before Kala pulled away to look at her.

"You're going with him," Kala stated. "We know." Y/N blinked in surprise before looking around at the others who all just nodded softly despite the sad smiles on their faces. The girl looked back to Kala who just smiled softly. "It's okay, Y/N. We knew you would."

"I didn't want to do this to you guys," Y/N admitted. "I know we just lost Connor and losing another person on the hunting team isn't ideal, but I have to go with him. He's my best friend."

They all nodded in understanding before Tim reached out to clap a hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to explain to us, Y/N," he told her. "We get it. Just know that we'll be waiting for you two when you get back."

Y/N smiled softly at that, falling into Tim's embrace while everyone smiled at the exchange. "So," Y/N began as she pulled away from the man, "what are you guys doing?"

"Attempting to make a map for the two of you. Well. . .mostly for Joel in case he somehow gets lost," Anna Lucia said making Y/N chuckle softly before she walked over to the table.

She smiled softly at the sight of all the notes on the front before noticing that there seemed to be something on the back. She flipped the paper over, her smile growing even more at the notes the crew had all written on the back for the boy.

"We were going to make one for you too," Kala spoke up. "But I think Joel needs more of a reminder of how much we love him than you do. I have a feeling you already know that."

Y/N smiled and looked up at the people who had become her family. "I know," she whispered making them all smile before she looked down at the paper snd grabbed ahold of one of the pens. She scribbled down a small note on the back to go along with the others before Karen folded the map up.

It was when she was almost finished folding it that they heard Ray call out, "He's not joking."

They all walked out of the room at that, Y/N catching sight of Joel making his way over towards them with his backpack on and two crossbows and her katanas in hand. His eyes locked with hers and he smiled before holding out her weapons. "I think you may have forgotten something," he mused making the girl roll her eyes.

"Thanks, Joel," she said before grabbing the katanas and strapping them into her back and under her backpack. She then took the crossbow and the two turned to head towards the ladder that led to up above when Tim stepped in their way.

"We're not letting you two leave. You're needed here," Tim told them, even though Y/N knew that he understood he wasn't going to be able to stop them.

"Tim, Y/N may be, but I'm not. Come on. I don't do anything," Joel said.

"Joel, that's not true. You fix the radio. You make the minestrone," Tim stopped after that and winced slightly at his own words. "Okay. Doesn't sound as important when I say it out loud."

"I appreciate you trying," Joel assured him. "Really, I do. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere. I don't really wanna die all alone at the end of the world, so. . ."

Tim stared at the boy for a moment, his eyes flickering over to Y/N who gently shook her head at him to let him know he shouldn't say anything about her feelings for the boy. Tim sighed and turned away, allowing the two to walk by.

Joel moved forward, but paused before looking back at the others. "Look, I know you guys all just think of me as, like, some little, pathetic, adorable hedgehog. But I can take care of myself. I'm actually probably a lot stronger than you might think," he told them.

Y/N smiled softly at the boy's words, knowing how badly he wanted to prove to them all that he could do this. She placed a hand on his arm and Joel looked her way, smiling as she squeezed his arm before looking to the others. "We'll take care of each other," she assured them. "We've survived seven years. We can survive seven days."

The colony didn't say anything until finally Karen stepped forward and held the map out to Joel. "We made you a map," Karen told him.

"Thanks, Karen," Joel whispered before the girl reached up to hug him. Joel hugged her back and Karen pulled away with a sad smile before going over to Y/N and hugging her as well.

"Just. . .take care," Karen whispered before she pulled away and backed up to join the others. Y/N stared out at the people who had become her family, her eyes tearing up a bit as she knew that there was a possibility she would never see them again.

She felt a hand latch onto her own and Y/N looked to her left to see Joel giving her a reassuring smile as his fingers intertwined with her own. Y/N gave him a shaky smile in return while Joel rubbed his thumb across the skin on top of her hand.

"Everything will try to kill you," Ray told them.

"Oh," Joel muttered, making a small face which made Y/N chuckle softly.

"Be observant. Use the advantages that you have. You're fast and small and Y/N is one of our best hunters, so, Joel, don't fight. Just run and hide. Y/N, you should do that too, but if you need to, use those katanas and crossbow like your life depends on it cause it does," Ray said.

"Don't fight," Joel repeated, making another face before looking to Y/N. "So Robin fights, but Batman doesn't?" he whispered to her. She just smiled shyly at him.

Ray reached out and pulled the two into a hug, Joel and Y/N hugging him back while their intertwined hands still stayed by their side.

"You're both assholes if you get eaten," Ray told them.

Y/N smiled at that before saying, "And you all are douchebags if you don't answer our call when we get there."

The group all chuckled while Joel went to hook his crossbow to his backpack. Everyone fell silent as they watched him, their smiled falling as he struggled to simply latch the crossbow to his back. Y/N sighed and brought her free hand up to facepalm herself while Joel just awkwardly laughed and tried to latch the crossbow one more time.

This time it latched into place and he smiled before saying, "Okay."

"Nice," Ava muttered.

Joel ignored her comment and squeezed Y/N’s hand before turning to climb up the ladder. "I love you guys. Tell Aimee I'll see her in seven days," he said before climbing up the ladder.

"We believe in you," Karen called after him.

"Love you, buddy," Tim said.

Y/N walked over to the ladder before hesitating at the bottom. She glanced back at the colony, her eyes flickering over each of them. Karen and Kala were softly crying as they hugged each other, the others all looking at her sadly before Tim just gave her a small nod.

"Take care of him," Tim said before hesitating. "And yourself."

"I will," Y/N whispered, smiling at the group one last time. "I love you guys."

"Love you too," they all chorused as she began to climb up the ladder like Joel had. The latch was already open by the time she reached the top and she was blinded by the sunlight until Joel moved himself above the hole and looked down at her.

"You sure about this?" he asked, his eyes flickering over her face for any signs of hesitation.

Y/N smiled softly, "I'm sure."

Joel smiled at that before holding his hand out, the girl looking to it for a moment as she realized just what it is they were doing. Was she really about to help the boy she loved reunite with the girl he was in love with? It was crazy. She knew that. Yet seeing that smile on Joel's face and knowing that this was what he wanted, what he needed, to be happy was enough for her to know this was the right thing to do.

Then, without another second thinking about it, Y/N took ahold of the boy's hand and he pulled her into the world above.

- - -

Tag List

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#love and monsters #love #and #monsters #joel dawson imagine #joel dawson #joel dawson x reader #Aimee #clyde #minnow #boy #apocalypse #dylan o’brien x reader #dylan o'brien

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wtf-yoongi · 4 years

Text

“I need one of those baths”

pairing | yoongi x reader

genre/warnings | literally how can giving a bath to yoongi have any warnings except for it’s 100% fluff and i’m 100% soft

words | 2,576

note | i had this idea and i’m sorry in advance oh man

Your head instinctively turns.

The TV is on. You’re sitting down with your legs close to your body when you hear a sharp noise coming from the door. You know it all too well – it’s Yoongi’s keychain hitting the wooden door with the many other keys he just has to carry around with him.

From the moment he walks through the door, you know it’s been one of those days. His hair is sticking to his forehead a little bit and he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Even more so than usual.

It’s that time of the year again. Deadlines are almost here.

You know that not just because he casually mentioned it like it was nothing a few weeks ago, but also because of the way his shoulders don’t really fit into his usual posture and he seems to push every single body cell to just drag himself to the sofa and collapse next to you.

You notice there are little pen stains on his fingers that he couldn’t wash away.

“So I’m guessing it was a productive day at work,” you start slowly, waiting for an affirmative response. “It’s past 10 p.m.”

“I guess you could say that,” he says with his eyes closed, his voice small and calm despite looking like he just crossed the whole desert to come home. “I’m sorry for being so late, but there’s still some adjustments and…”

“How much time left now?”

“Ah, a couple more days, I guess… Until we have to send some things for them to hear.” Yoongi moves his body slightly, trying to make himself more comfortable. “I don’t wanna talk about that, I’m sick of talking about work.”

He laughs lightly at his own statement and opens his eyes, right hand looking for yours. When Yoongi finds it, he immediately intertwines your fingers and brings them closer to his chest.

“I need to ask you something, though.”

This guy has plans. You nod your head for him to go on.

“I need one of those baths,” he confesses in a very low voice and a small smile appears on his lips. He knows you know what he’s talking about.

“Wanna spend the bath card so early in the month?” You ask with a raised eyebrow. “Must be serious.”

“It is,” he agrees. “Very serious indeed. Literally, the whole next album depends on this.”

“I thought you said it was almost finished,” you scoff, turning your whole body in his direction.

“Yeah, but the finishing touches are like the icing on the cake, I can’t mess it up now or everything will be ruined.”

You both laugh lightly, almost as if you’re trying not to wake up someone sleeping right next to you.

“I’m so tired, and tense, and stressed out from work, I just need it now,” he tries to convince you, kissing your knuckles for better effect.

Even if it is supposed to sound exaggerated, you know with a heavy heart that it is actually true. He’s just making fun of his own misery as he usually does. It’s a self-defense mechanism.

“Come on, it’s my bath card, I can use it wherever I want.”

“Yeah, and a week after this you’ll forget you’ve used it already and ask for a bath again.”

Yeah, that has happened, like, a thousand times before.

“Can’t I just get an advance from the months I won’t be home?”

“You’re getting advances for as long as I can remember, how is that fair to me? I don’t get advances ever.”

“I’ll give you ten baths before going on tour, I promise,” he holds onto your hand a little bit tighter and smiles again. “Please, I just need it.”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, faking an annoyance you both know it’s not there. You love giving him baths – it’s just one of those intimate things that no one knows about. It’s like waking up in the morning and lazily dragging yourself closer to him as he whines a little bit from wanting to sleep more and not be disturbed, but welcomes you in his arms anyway; or Yoongi brewing coffee and serving you a mug exactly as you like it even though he doesn’t and could never understand how you take your coffee with one and a half teaspoons of sugar (“it’s disgusting, you’re ruining it by trying to make it sweet”).

Without saying a word, you’re the first to move, reaching for the remote to turn the TV off and leave the sofa, dragging Yoongi by the hand he is already holding. When you look behind you, he’s still moving his feet like he doesn’t really want to move his feet at all, but at least he has a shy smile on his face – the smile of contained victory.

Upon entering the bathroom, you leave him for a moment to open the hot water tap on the bathtub and check the temperature until it becomes warm so can you can close drain. Meanwhile, Yoongi is slowly but surely moving his hands to reach for his toothbrush.

“You wanna wash your hair?” You ask casually, picking up the products from where they usually stay inside the shower. Looking over at Yoongi, he slowly nods, so you pick up his shampoo and conditioner too.

Looks like he’s going to fall asleep at any moment now.

You move over to him as he just finishes wiping his lips to get rid of the leftover toothpaste. He looks so soft and sleepy you just can’t resist leaving a kiss there when you get close enough to start stripping him out of his day clothes. Everything is so calm and natural it’s almost like you rehearsed it a thousand times – and you kind of actually did if you count the times this has happened in the past.

“If you fall asleep in the water, I’m gonna have to wake you up and you don’t like that,” you warn him with a smile, one he promptly, but lazily mirrors. “I don’t want you mad at me so you better keep yourself at least 10% awake.”

Yoongi nods slowly again while he helps you free his body of the ripped jeans. “I’ll do my very best.”

As soon as he’s in the water, you turn the tap to slow the flow. There’s a bath cup you bought for the only purpose of helping you give baths to Yoongi and that’s the first thing you reach for to aid you in bringing the warm water to his shoulders. He immediately drops his head in front of him and you can almost feel the tension starting to leave his body.

“Yeah, I really needed that,” he admits, taking a deep breath. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t even shampoo your hair yet,” a small laugh leaves your lips and you lean in to kiss his left shoulder. “I’m sorry about work, I know it’s too much sometimes.”

“It’s part of the deal,” he simply says, and you finally pour enough water to wet his hair. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. How cliché is that?”

“Ninety seven percent cliché,” you agree, picking up some shampoo in your hands to start massaging it into his hair. “But it’s true.”

“How do you think my hair is holding up after being bleached yet again?” He suddenly asks, mocking the state of his own hair. It’s not even a joke anymore, it just needs a break.

“Definitely holding on for dear life,” you both laugh on queue. “Not as bad as last time, though, I think this new shampoo is helping with something.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t feel as bad.” Yoongi inhales deeply, really enjoying the moment. “I love it when you wash my hair, you do it better than anyone else.”

“This is the epitome of idol who doesn’t even know how to wash his hair anymore because other people do it for him,” you mock him, taking your soapy hand and touching his face with it.

He turns to stare at you with the most unbelievable smile. “It was supposed to be a compliment, you know?” He moves his hand to his face to wipe it off. “You do everything better than anyone in the team… But I think my opinion is biased.”

“Oh, really?” You ask with an unsurprised voice.

“Yeah, because you sleep in my bed and there are things you do that no one else in our team does to me.”

“Well, good to know, I guess?”

You smile and keep working on his hair for a few minutes before asking him to close his eyes so you can rinse it properly. Next, you apply the conditioner in silence, turn the tap off completely and move on to scrub his back with that grapefruit-scented thing he loves too much. You can feel him starting to lean forward a little bit.

“Hey, don’t sleep on me,” you try to get his attention and Yoongi soon scratches his eyes. “Just a few more minutes, huh?”

Yoongi slowly turns his head to look at you while you soak the sponge with more water. “Could this last forever?”

“Your fingertips would turn into a pudding and the water would become cold and you would have a sore throat. And all of that in less than 17 minutes,” you smile at him as he pouts. “Come on, wash the rest of your body while I do your back.”

Yoongi is not exactly satisfied with it, but he does as you instruct and moves his hand to reach for the body soap while you massage his shoulders. He isn’t lying, he is tense. You try your best to relieve some of it and all of a sudden he corrects his posture to crack his spine.

He laughs at your look of horror.

You absolutely hate it when he does that. It sounds like he is going to break into two completely separate pieces.

“Ah, that felt nice,” he fully smiles now, knowing pretty well how you feel about that.

You don’t open your mouth to give him the satisfaction of a reply. Instead, you just move your hand to rinse the conditioner – and his shoulders in the process. Only a few minutes pass before you’re standing up again to grab a towel.

Opening your arms, you spread the towel to welcome him in. When he stands up, you immediately press the towel against his chest, then shoulders, then arms, only stopping when his still wet hands reach for your face. Yoongi leans in for a sweet and delicate kiss.

He doesn’t say anything – and, honestly, he doesn’t really have to. The way he holds your face in his hand protectively and looks into your eyes are probably worth hours upon hours of deep conversation. Nothing needs to be said anymore at this point, so he just moves his hands to circle around your whole body in a tight embrace.

You can’t count the moments you stand in the same position, but long enough so that his hair is dripping on your white oversized shirt, wetting the left side of your hair as well. His body is now growing cold even in the warm bathroom.

“You should get dressed,” you suggest, not having enough courage to actually move.

“I think I folded that t-shirt I wore to bed yesterday and put it in the second drawer, can you get it for me?”

He doesn’t move either.

“Sure,” you say, but nothing moves, not even the air around you. “You have to let me go, though.”

“I’ve changed my mind. I’m gonna stay here, freeze to death and get a sore throat, I don’t mind.”

“Stop being silly,” you laugh lightly and take a small step backwards. “You’re really gonna get sick.”

Yoongi reluctantly lets you go, clutching the towel so it doesn’t fall into the water. As you move into the bedroom to get his clothes, you can hear him leave the bathtub and finish drying himself off.

You get back and hand over his change of clothes. “Are you going to blow dry your hair?”

“Probably should, but I don’t wanna,” he says, doing his best to take the excess water off with the towel and shaking it with his fingers. “Too lazy, too sleepy.”

“It’s gonna be a mess in the morning,” you warn.

“It’s gonna be a mess anyway,” he corrects. “Who cares? I’m just going to the studio, a hat can cover it all up.”

After getting dressed, he looks at himself in the mirror and you know he’s wondering if it’s too bad to skip skincare for a night. The bags under his eyes are begging for some rest.

“Just moisturize and go to bed,” you laugh at the internal battle he is struggling with. “No one has to know.”

Yoongi finally gives in and picks up some of your own moisturizer for whatever reason. You don’t actually mind and help him out with some leave-in for the hair.

“I know you don’t really like to bleach it, but this color looks so good on you,” you compliment, both of you looking in the mirror. “I think this dark gray is my favorite.”

“It’s so close to black, though. I wish it was just black.”

“I think this is sexy, honestly.”

“Don’t try to change my mind.”

“I’m just saying!” You raised your hands in the air before washing them with warm water to get rid of the leftover product. “You don’t need it, but it looks good on you.”

“Come on, you can’t just say those things,” Yoongi whines, somehow finding a way to hug you from behind and kissing your half-exposed shoulder in the process. “I’m too tired for that now.”

“I didn’t say anything,” you laugh briefly, his movements tickling your neck, while trying to turn both your bodies to finally go to bed.

“Oh, but you did. You can’t just say something is sexy and move on like it’s nothing.”

“It’s just hair.”

“You said I didn’t even need it. Did you mean I’m already sexy enough?”

“I wish I had your self-esteem sometimes.”

You move closer to the bed and try to pull the covers, but Yoongi is just making things difficult by not letting go of your middle. You’re not complaining, just… Mentioning.

He finally lets go for a few seconds, just enough for both of you to get under the thick comforter. As soon as you pull it to you neck, Yoongi is once again turning to your side, raising one leg to rest on top of yours. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

“This isn’t because you just gave me a bath, but I really do love you.” He has a shy smile on his lips and opens his eyes again just to stare into yours. “I also love you for giving me a bath, but I want you to know I would love you regardless.”

You can’t help but smile back. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better. Are you feeling better?”

“Much, much better,” he nods.

“Good,” you say, adjusting your face on the pillow to rest in a more comfortable way.

“Say you love me back before I fall asleep,” Yoongi asks, slowly closing his eyes.

“I love you.”

“Good.”

He immediately drifts off.

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#man i'm so soft rn #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fluff #yoongi oneshot #suga fluff #suga fanfic #suga oneshot #bts fluff #bts fanfic #min yoongi

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dailydnp · 3 years

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Daniel Howell on Depression and How to Get Through The Night

Daniel Howell is the YouTube star breaking boundaries about depression, who has now released a book to help people with mental health issues.

Daniel Howell is one of the most popular YouTubers out there, with millions of followers and a refreshing line in self-deprecating humour that has made him stood out from much of the braggadocio on that channel. He is also someone who dared to go beyond the jokes and gaming on his channel to reveal his battles with depression to his young audience a few years ago, producing a huge response from people. Now he has written a book about mental health, called ‘You Will Get Through This Night’. A mix of information, advice and laughs, the book is a welcome addition to the elevation of mental health as a national issue, and it manages to be so in a way that is going to connect brilliantly with young people. We grabbed a word with Daniel over Zoom to find out more about it…

When did you decided to write the book and what was the process like?

It was a very serendipitous journey I never planned. All this talking about myself and mental health, and sharing these quite intimate details about my own life, was never the plan. I started my career trying to be funny, just being a clown on the internet, but as time went on two things happened: one, a sense of responsibility creeping up on me where I realised anyone with a platform has an impact on people, and even if you think you’re just being funny, if you do share yourself, people relate to you and you end up resonating with them on some level.

Also just for me, I have always been so career focused, I’m one of those guys that pushes their well being to the back, and after years of me doing that it just got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. It was not only affecting my ability to be good at my job, and be friends with people and nice to be around, but creatively it was this real hump where I felt like if I don’t sort my life out, and get on top of these problems that I know are lurking behind me, I’m not going to be able to go forwards.

It was that which led me to talk about my experiences with depression in that YouTube video ‘Daniel and Depression’ that I uploaded in 2017, and that was a huge moment for me. Even five years ago, there was such a taboo around mental health. These days people go, ‘ aren’t we all open about mental health now?’ but just five years ago, it was a completely different world. I thought me bringing up a word like depression would destroy my career. ‘Are people not going to want to work with me? Are my friends going to think I’m strange?’

But I was honestly surprised, for the first time in my life, by the reaction I got from humanity. Because my upbringing led me to being very cynical, to be very defensive and to protect my vulnerability. Actually when I shared something that was so raw, people appreciated it. On some level people were like, wow you articulating it made me understand something I didn’t get about myself, or my mum’s been through this and I finally get it, or now I know what my friends are going through.

When you open yourself up, despite the fear, people appreciate it because this is how people think and feel. We’re all vulnerable, we’re all trying to protect ourselves, we’re all putting on this front, focusing on our careers, pushing everything to the background; but then it’s a truth that when you open up about how you really feel, not only is that a weight lifted for you but it lets other people in.

Then I became the mental health guy. I didn’t ask for it, it became my thing.

The book always had the question of what it might be. People always want to write their life stories, but firstly my entire life story is already out there on the internet, it was there in real time. I thought if I’m going to do this, I want to do a mental health book that just gets straight to the point, it’s not going to be too scientific, it’s not going to be too spiritual or flowery, it’s going to give you the information you need, the tools, the tips, the life hacks, the stuff that science has shown will make a difference, as bare as we can, in bullet point form. And then my job is to make it stupid and funny by using myself as a punching bag doing everything wrong in terms of managing your mental health. For me it’s the book I wish I had five, ten years ago.

Was putting it together enjoyable, once you’d given yourself permission to have fun with it?

Yeah writing a book and collating all these life saving tips on mental health, was good for me. The process of writing the book was like reading it. I needed the experience of putting it together so I could learn from it myself.

What I’ve learnt from just being funny is it’s a bit of an excuse to give yourself therapy. You’ve set yourself the task of telling this story, making this point or joke about something, and in the process of trying to find out whatever this point or joke you’re making, there’s a bit of a moment of self reflection in there.

So it’s fun to have an excuse to tell a story and be funny but for me it’s been emotionally cathartic too.

What are the main things you learned or that even changed you?

One thing was the 360 around your lifestyle. The book is structured practically into 3 parts. The first part is what are things you can do right now to change the way you feel, the second is lifestyle, what changes can you make, and then the third part is looking deeper, at more long term things about readjusting your mindset and working out what makes you as a person.

The process of going through the lifestyle for me felt a bit like a roast. Things like the importance of your social life, the importance of your nutrition, the importance of how often you move, and it was very difficult to be aware of what might just be my personality and preference. I’m an introvert, I’m a bit of a nerd, I like to stay inside, I don’t like to party a lot, and I just learned that if you don’t go jogging you’re going to have more anxiety than someone who doesn’t. It was good to have all that shown up.

A nugget that was quite profound is that you can always change the way that you feel. I was always having days where I was really stressed from what I was working on, or a period where I’d be really depressed, and sometime I would wake up and immediately know I’m not having a good mental health day. When I’m not going to be able to perform, I’m not going to be a very helpful friend. I just used to say to myself ‘this day is a write off’. But what I learned from this book is you can change how you feel by doing something. Your activity directly influences how you feel.

It got rid of the excuses because sometimes it was like, ‘I’m having a bad day I simply cannot do that task’ when you probably can. It’s empowering for yourself to say, ‘Actually if I eat something, if I get a change of scenery, if I talk to someone, if I problem solve to question my thoughts and readjust my mindset, you can change how you think and feel on any day.

With mental health so many people ego through their life thinking it’s this weird mysterious fog that they can’t impact on. Sometimes you feel bad and there’s nothing you can do about it. But actually we’re just weird hairless apes, we’re not that complicated, and there are little things we can do to snap ourselves out of it.

How do you think it’ll fit into the current times?

The idea that this book is coming out when our society is opening up again is almost a divine intervention! There is literally no better time to sort your life out. We’ve all gone through so much, this collective trauma, and the dent to our lifestyles and ability to self-care. Not only have we had all the joy ripped away from us, but people haven’t been able to go to the gym, to get support from friends, and this is a new chapter for everybody.

I’m seeing it as: can take this next step and not fall back into bad habits? This is a good time to put a pole in the ground and move forward in a good direction.

What are the key things you’ll be taking forward?

It’s not just the lifestyle stuff, it’s also about mindset changes. I’m a worrier, one of these people that thinks myself into oblivion. It means I’m analytical but I’m not very present, I spend a lot of time in my head prophesising my own doom. One of the things in the book is realising that you are not your thoughts. If you get a negative thought in your head actually that’s just your brain’s suggestion that you should feel stress about this, that and the other but we don’t have to stay fixated on these worries.

I’ve spent the last ten years in therapy, deeply going into myself asking questions about authenticity, confronting my sexuality, but also it’s been about just day-to-day having a better relationship with my own mind. That when I get these emotions that want to spiral into a panic, or make me feel very stressed, just to talk back to myself with the right attitude and say I don’t need to go down this rabbit hole due to this thought. I can just acknowledge it was an idea my brain had to think about and I can choose to do whatever I want with it. I can choose to solve the problem and break it down, I can ask for help I can give myself a reality check, or I can just acknowledge the thought and say ‘No thank you I’m going to do something else with my day.’

Back to the first depression video – are you aware of the difference between you then and now?

It’s profound, I would say me aged 26 was someone who didn’t question anything. You think you have a career priority and if I have any emotional baggage, it’s just not important right now.

Obviously there was the huge issue of my sexuality which had a huge impact on my mental health. My entire life story from childhood to how I was perceived as a public figure, how I operated day to day, and even my acceptance of a thing that I knew was true deep inside me, I had an incredibly toxic view of that at the time. I needed to understand it. I went to therapy and learned a lot about the way I would talk to myself, the way I would beat myself down and tell myself that things are the way they are and there’s nothing I can do about it. I should tolerate certain situations, and that was all wrong, so I’ve become much better at being fair to myself. Accepting my own vulnerability instead of building up a huge wall; letting it down, being honest with myself which is important if you ever want to change anything for the better. Also you get closer to other people when you feel like they can really see you.

How have conceptions of masculinity affected that?

The whole concept of masculinity was huge in my life. I had a very macho dad, he didn’t emote, he didn’t share anything, it was all jokes and all on the outside. I got to 16, 17, that age when you notice adults for the first time and cotton on to it. I could see the pain he was going through but he didn’t want to confront it. I also went to an all-boys school where there’s no vulnerability, you can’t give a small opening for someone to jab a compass in. That was the culture that shaped me. That continued into my late twenties when I had the moment when I realised being honest with yourself about something going wrong is bravery. It’s not weak to admit vulnerability if it’s going to help you grow. It’s not a sign of weakness to go to the uncomfortable place. Life is a series of uncomfortable obstacles that you put off, but every single time you go over them, you look back and go, ‘oh why did I waste so much time not doing that sooner?’

Is masculinity shifting do you think?

Definitely, roles in society have been so Neanderthal. If you have a personality with a stiff upper lip and it works, good for you, but someone else may feel pressured to hold things in and eventually they’re going to crack. It’s ok to ask for help and to let go of that, that’s what we’re learning in society. Conversations in mental health are so much more normal. There’s a long way to go in terms of judgment and misunderstandings, but I hope the book will spell it out for a lot of people. The book has been fact checked by a psychological professional, Dr Heather Bolton and all of the advice in the book is from evidence based practices that have been shown to have a good effect. It’s not just a nice sounding idea. We all have that friend on Instagram who’s like, ‘Positivity! Yeah here we go!’ And you go, ‘Wow that image had great graphic design it must be true.’ No it isn’t. So we’re in an age of people opening up but there’s also a lot of nonsense on Facebook so when we’re thinking about how we feel and making changes to our lives, we need to trust the experts.

#daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan #phan #mine #interview

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mandoalorian · 4 years

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Biology [Dio x Reader]

Summary – You are stressed about college applications but by a twist of fate, a boy comes into your life and agrees to help you in exchange for something else.

Pairing – Gender neutral reader x Shane “Dio” Morrissey (No Y/N)

Warnings – general school related anxiety

Word count – 2.2k

A/N: For now this is just a one shot but if people enjoy it please let me know and I can write more! Comment if you would like to be tagged in a possible future update/s.

“I’m heading home now,” the high school librarian announced, as she threw the keys in your direction. The clanking of the metal hitting the desk interrupted you from your thoughts. “Lock up.” She ordered you and before you could reply, she was gone. You had stayed late at the school library every night for the past two weeks trying to work on your college applications. You had applied for one of the most prestigious fashion schools in your country and were spending time working on your portfolio, trying to make sure everything was perfected. Every night, however, you found yourself staying late and as the submission deadline neared more and more things were seemingly going wrong. In the dim light, you stared at the computer screen as the brightness stung your eyes. Just then, a crash made you jump out of your seat and run to where the noise emanated from, thinking something had happened to the librarian on her way out. Instead, you saw the silhouette of a boy, clumsily picking up fallen books from the floor. You got closer and went down on your knees, reaching your hand out to pick up a book, but his hand overlapped yours. The contact sent a shiver down your spine and you diverted your gaze from the book, to the boy. He was already staring at you. Your lips parted as you realised who he was and he said your name in a gentle tone. The dim light brought out a sparkle in his eyes which almost made him unrecognisable. “Dio…”

He was the boy in your classes, who sat at the back and didn’t say a word. He was different to the other boys. He wore all black, he had piercings and, you looked down at his hand which was resting on top of yours, noting his chipped, painted black nails. You smiled; he was certainly different. Dio was one to always get in trouble, fighting with people who crossed him wrong or using his smart mouth to back-talk the teachers. You remembered just the other week he had threatened to stab someone. You ripped your hand away from his, remembering the incident and stumbled back to your feet. He stood up with you and you folded your arms over your chest, almost defensively. “Why are you here?” You quizzed Dio. There was no reason for someone like him to be in the school library so late at night.

Dio stood awkwardly, looking at you and looking at the pile of fallen books on the ground. “I- uh-“ he struggled to get his words out. You picked up one of the books and ran your fingers over the title.

“Biology?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I’m failing,” Dio admitted with a sigh. “And, I can’t fail. So I’m studying. I usually just sit in Ms Greene’s classroom every night after school. No one knows I stay back. It’s uh, kind of a secret.”

“No way,” you shook your head in disbelief. “You? Studying?” You panicked slightly, feeling as though your tone might have come off as rude, but he didn’t seem fazed.

“I don’t want to go college,” Dio shrugged. “But I want out of this hell-hole. I want to graduate. I’m already a grade behind because I failed my finals last year. I can’t fail again.”

“You’re a year behind?”

“I’m nineteen,” he told you and you nodded, listening to him intently. He was finally making eye contact with you, and the softness in his look brought you a feeling of safety, despite him being your high school’s intimidating Goth boy.

“Well,” you cleared your throat and changed the subject. “I’m here every night too.” Dio gave you a weak smile and rubbed his feet along the old carpet awkwardly.

“Studying?” he asked.

“No,” you replied and handed him the biology book. He took it and slid it back into its place. He didn’t even want it anymore. “College applications.”

“Yeah? What are you applying for?” Dio asked and you raised an eyebrow at his curiosity.

“Fashion,” you informed him, pointing at the only switched on computer which lit up the corner of library. Dio’s smile grew and you wondered if he was about to poke fun at you.

“Can I see?” He followed your finger and also pointed at your computer.

You hesitated. He probably wanted to sabotage your portfolio... that sounded like a ‘Dio’ thing to do. The awkward silence went on long enough and you gave in, agreeing, and taking him over to your computer. You slid back down into your chair and flicked through the pages of your virtual fashion file. Instead of pulling a seat up, he leaned down to your level, his hand resting on the back of your chair. The distance between you both was very small, you swore you could even feel his breath on your neck. “Ms Cassidy says all applications are due in this Friday and I’m just about happy with my portfolio-“

“-You should be,” Dio interrupted. “This is incredible.”

You paused, dumbstruck by his compliment. Dio doesn’t just give out compliments like that. Especially not to people he’s just met. Hell, you were even surprised he knew your name. “…But,” you continued. “I need this to stand out and be special or else the admissions team won’t look twice at it. Fashion is so competitive. I had this idea. I wanted to do a segment on alternative style but I need a model and I’m not sure if I could find one who fits my image in time. I feel like giving up.” You sighed, exasperated, but he didn’t answer. He was paying very little attention to your words, or even your portfolio. His eyes burned into your face, memorising and taking in every little detail like you were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. “Dio?” You interrupted his thoughts.

“Yeah?”

You sighed again. “I can’t find a model because no one has that special air of style these days. Everyone is the same. Same is boring. We all want to look the same as each other because… it feels safe.” You shrugged.

“Right,” Dio agreed, shuffling around in his long black leather coat. The noise it made pulled you to look at him, and as you took in his appearance, you were struck with an idea. Dio must’ve seen the lightbulb appear above your head and he laughed. “No no no,” he shook his head. You didn’t need to verbalise your thoughts, he already knew exactly what you wanted. “Not me. I’m not a model.”

“Please!” You begged, standing up and pressing both of your hands to his chest as you felt the different layers of material he was wearing. His breathing hitched under your touch and he squirmed slightly. “You’re perfect… you…” Your voice trailed off as you imagined the various poses he could do in his different clothes. He was everything you needed; your ticket to get into Fashion school. “Dio.” you pulled your hands away and pressed them together in a praying gesture. “I’ll pay you.” Your voice changed seriously. “Do you have any idea how much I want this?”

“I do… I do…” Dio said, uncertainty still dripping from his tongue. He thought of how much his friends would tease him if they found out he had been out on photoshoots with you. If they knew he was your model. But there was no reason for them to find out, and if it meant he could spend more time with you… “You can pay me. Yeah?” He eventually agreed.

“Yes!” You exclaimed, filled with happiness. “Of course Dio, thank you.” And acting on impulse, you hugged him. You felt him tense up and you buried your face into his chest. After a delay, he wrapped his arms around you. He was warm. You didn’t know what it was, perhaps his strong arms or broad shoulders that made you feel protected. It was crazy. Of course you had seen him around before, but suddenly he had you feeling all these things. “Thank you,” you mumbled. You finally felt like you had a shot at fashion school – a chance. From that moment, you swore he was your lucky star.

Dio had always stuck out in a crowd of high school students with his black gelled hair, kohl eyeliner and multiple piercings around his ears. You were certain he was feared, even by the jocks, but that only drew you in closer to him. He was like an enigma, and in this moment, you had never felt more compelled to discover more of him. Realising your hug probably had lasted way longer than appropriate, you were the first one to pull away. “So, uhm,” you cleared your throat, figuring you should go over expenses. “I can do 30$ for the first hour and if it takes longer… then 10$ for every hour after that.”

“No I don’t want your money,” Dio said, and you knotted your eyebrows together. He wanted more.

Dio knew you better than you knew him. He had been watching you for a while now, taking in your every move. He knew your GPA was above average and that you were worrying way more than you needed to be about college. He had complete faith in you. He saw you every day, laughing with your friends in the cafeteria. He watched you from his seat at the back of the classes you shared with him. He admired how smart you were, and especially how hard-working, something he felt like he could never be. You felt like you would be good for him, a positive influence which is something he knew he so desperately needed. But there was something about you that made him lose his confidence. It was a feeling he’d never felt before which made him question all his motives. He wanted to go out with you, kiss you with hunger and passion. He had done these things plenty of times before and lord knows he was experienced but it was like there was something inside of him that stopped him from making any advances. In the darkness of the library, in the close proximity, he felt the butterflies in his stomach. He felt the spark of electricity when your hands had previously touched. He’d done a lot – been with guys and girls before but the outcome was always the same. Meaningless sex and then never speak to them again. Now, he was suddenly feeling this emotional attachment. A sense of longing.

He wanted to ask you out. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t need your money, he just needed you, and he’d take you right now in the library if he could. He looked around, contemplating his surroundings. He simply couldn’t do it, and yet the urge to kiss you was so strong. “I don’t want your money,” he repeated. “Look, you help me pass biology and that’ll be enough.”

You felt the tension in the air. You wondered if he could feel it too. “Before we start on biology,” your voice was barely above a whisper. “How’s your chemistry?” You intertwined your fingers with his and bit your lip, taking a step forward to him, filling any distance. Dio felt the smirk playing on his lips at your confidence but nervously, you looked up at him doe-eyed. This was the first time you had ever gotten close to someone. Dio lifted his free hand and cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing the softness of your lower lip.

“Good enough for me to know it’s alright to do this,” his voice was dark. He leaned in and his nose brushed against yours. You hummed and found your fingers in his hair as you pushed his face closer. Your eyes fluttered closed as he kissed you delicately. It wasn’t how you had imagined at all. You had seen him around other people; the way he’d push his partners into the lockers and run his hands over their bodies. You’d see people hang out with Dio, and they’d turn up to class the next day with hickeys and love-bites all over their jaw and neck. You imagined him rough, but this felt – gentle. He was passionate and took his time to deepen the kiss. You felt safe in his arms, you wanted to stay like this forever. He was such a good kisser, although him being your first kiss, you didn’t have much to compare it to. When he eventually pulled away so you could both catch your breath, you felt your knees weaken and couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. Dio spoke your name softly and squeezed your hand. “Let me walk you home.” He murmured, to which you agreed, but not before kissing him again.

I hope you enjoyed!! Like I said let me know if you want to be added to a tag list and I will write more if people want more. Thanks for reading. xx

#shane dio morrissey #dio #pedro pascal #dio x reader #pedro pascal fic #fan fiction #one shot #fluff #nypd blue #gender neutral

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xsugarysweetsx · 4 years

Note

I was wondering if you could do a Toya/Dabi x reader.Like the reader is childhood friends with Toya and is good friends with the Todo kids in general. So when their mom goes to the hospital, the reader kinda steps in and sorta kinda fills the role of mom. Reader is really close to Shoto.(Toya and reader are in a quirk marriage)But then stuff happens.Toya becomes Dabi.Reader became a teacher @UA and goes to the training camp.Then Dabi accidentally almost kills the reader by putting her in a coma.

You’re really good with plot Anon! Also I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE! But thank you for your patience❤️ please enjoy ❤️❤️ I added in something extra hopefully you like it!

Children never see the bad in the world. They’re innocent and want to always see the goo in people and the world. As a little girl you always thought going to the Todoroki’s house meant a play date. You would spend time with all of them and even Shoto.

For whatever reason it was your father always wanted you to spend time with Toya. He was the eldest and was usually quiet and kept to himself.

One day you had come and Shoto was hurt, with a patch over his eye. Rei wasn’t home either, they told you she had gone away. She was away and wouldn’t be back for a while. Being around the same age as Toya you felt the need to fill in the role for the younger ones.

You would help them with homework, and cleaning up after themselves. Almost like an elder sister or a mother. You were all close and created your own bond together. Almost like your own little family

As time passed you were both in your teens attending school together. At the time you were both best friends, knowing each other inside and out. One day when you were at his house doing homework, your father and Enji walked in.

His father always scared you in all honesty. Not only was his size intimidating but his aura just wasn’t pleasant. Toya always knew how you felt. He had the habit of holding your hand whenever he'd come into the room comfort you.

“What is it old man?“ Toya resented him after finding out what he had done his mother.

“Well“ you father spoke up “We’ve talked i over and believe that it would be best if you both-”

“You’re both getting married and that’s final“ Enji cut him off “You both have exceptionally powerful quirks and will make better children“

“What?!“ you both reacted

That’s right they were forcing you both into a quirk marriage, without any explanation to you both. If anything your father basically sold you, he was known for getting into debt despite having his own business. The Todorokies had money and everyone knew.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to marry you. Truth was, he had feelings for you for very long time but you didn't want to ruin your relationship. on top of all that he didn't want to bring you into his method of family and possibly make your life impossible. You were too good for him, for filling the role he never knew he needed or his siblings included.

At the time you were both 16 and were to marry at 19. But that day never came, Toya had gone missing. Nothing was left about his whereabouts. When your wedding day came, it marked 3 years of him being missing. They had decided to mark him under dead, since there was no trace of him.

Even to this day you still think about him. You didn’t want to forget his face or his voice, or anything.

============================

You stop visiting the the house hold, you called every now and then to check in. Sometimes you would visit Rei at the hospital and it gave you some tranquility.

You grew up to be a teacher at UA high school, helping students to become heroes. You heard even Shoto got into UA a well, and went to visit him. You always told him how proud you were of him, turns out even he grew as much resentment towards his father as Toya did.

This weekend you were at the training camp with the students. Everything was going well, they were training, learning and even cooking. You look out your window and see that Bakugou was extremely good at cooking, which confused you a bit. But everyone to their own.

You were giving extra help to thos when fisoed the test with Mr.Aizawa. Everyone would always tease about how you thin had a secret thing going on. In all honesty you both acted the same towards it and brushed it off as a joke but soon it became true.

You both had a thing for each other. You didn’t believe you would have feelings like this again. The last time you did, he had disappeared from your life, like he never existed. But with Shouta it felt differnt, he made you feel like he wouldn’t leave.

Sure he never seemed to be the type to but he would hold you close and tell you as many times as you needed to what it

“I would never abandon you, ever” it was something small but it made your heart flutter. You never forget about Toya, but he would want you to be happy right?

As you walk down the hall to the class you oda by a window. From the corner of your eye you saw a tall dark figure at the window and instantly turned. You were alert and ready to defend yourself. You look around the hall and too the window. You didn’t even realize you were holding your breath as you approached the window and looked outside.

Looking form side to side there was nothing and the student were outside as usual. Maybe you were seeing things. A hand landed on your shoulder which made you jump and shriek

“Hey It’s okay, it’s just me” it was shouta “are you alright you seem a little jumpy” he said in his tired husky voice

“Y-yeah im down, I just...never mind let’s get to the class” even when you walk with him you still felt uneasy, it wouldn’t leave you.

About only half hour into the lesson crashes and yelling was heard. Looking out the window your eyes widen to see blue flames swollowing the trees around you.

Blue flame....but you haven’t seen blue flames since....

“I’m going to check what’s going on. Y/N Stay here with the students” Shouta said as he ran out of the class

“Me.L/N, whats happening? Shouldn’t we go an help?”

“No, lets all stay here it’s best if we don’t split up.” All the students gathering around you. You did a headcount to make sure you age everyone. Aizawa ran back into the room on high alert

“Everyone we need to love to the next room over-“

The wall came crashing down to reveal a member of the League Of Villans. Instances kick in you step forward to protect your students. You were trying hard to concentrate but something about this man, was so familiar.

“Step aside princess, before you get hurt”

“I’m not a princess and you’re going to have to go through me first” you took your defensive stance. He hurled his blue flames at you but you block using you quirk. With all the strength you could muster you were able to push him back far enough that it was only the two of you.

Whatever it was something had stopped you from making your next move.

“What’s wring princess? Too tired to fight back?”

You didn’t answer and went for an attack, the hit would have been direct and affective but you stop.

You realize now why you know him

“Toya....” you whisper to yourself. But why was he attacking? Didn’t he recognize you? You turn to him

“Toya is me y-“ you were hurdled back into a tree by his flame. The aching throb making it hard for you to focus, crimson ran down to your chin. He came closer and kneeled in front of you.

He braved yourself for the worst to come but all you heard was a gasp

“Y-y/n....?” He said in the softest smallest voice he could. “I-is....”

“Took you long e-enough.:.” You forced a smile as your world started to spin. Not only did the impact do damage but you were loosing blood. He was hesitant to touch you, he’s down so much damage already

First leaving you so abruptly, and now this? He saw your eyes finally fall and you fall limp

“Y/N? Y/N?!” He gathered you in his arms and started to run, he didn’t know where but he was running. He eventually found Twice

“Hey bud whatcha go there” he said in his quirky attitude

“That’s doesn’t matter she’s bleeding out I need you to help me” he laid you by a bush and ripped a part of his shirt and wrapped it ape under your head.

“I need you to take her some where no one else will harm her, but make sure it’s some where one of these punk hero’s can find her” he said putting you into the arms of Twice.

He nodded and ran off, Dabi furiously wiped tears that ran down his face. He can only hope you were found and tended to. He may be who he is now but, you didn’t deserve to suffer for his decision.

————

After drawing back and leaving, Dabi stuck around for a while to make sure you were found. Aizawa was the one who found you and cradled you in his arms. Like he did at one point, he watched as you were whisked away to an ambulance. You were rushed to a near by hospital.

He would hang out by your window some night, sometimes he would break in and just sit in the chair.

He had managed to put you into a coma. At least he didn’t kill you in all but still.....it was the same you. The same one from all those years ago. The one who truest knew him. Who even recognizes him after so long.

You’ve become so beautiful over the years. He didn’t dare touch you, afraid to cause more damage. He would think...think about who thinks could have been differnt. What if he stayed and married you? Who would he be if he never left?

One night you started to stir and your monitor had started to speed up. You were waking up! He wanted to stay and hold you and apologize for everything...but he couldn’t. He heard footsteps running down the hall. He stroked your cheek one final time and ran for the window.

You skin was so soft and warm, he wanted to savor it longer. But if he did stay he would have no chance to even glance your way again.

As he was about to jump out he looked back once more to see your E/C staring at him.

“T..oya...” you said weakly. He shit his eyes and made his way back into the cruel world. Tears pores out of your eyes as you watched him leave, once again.

Maybe, just maybe you’ll meet again......

I kinda like it :). But I hope this is what you were looking for! And I’m sorry this was so late!

#dabi my hero academia #dabi x reader #bnha dabi #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #boko no hero academia #fanfiction #anime #anime x reader #dabi #toya todoroki

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whenihaveyouromione · 3 years

Text

When I Have You - Chapter 24

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you’d prefer!

Follow this story’s Instagram account whenihaveyou.romione

A/N: The wiggentree is believed to protect from dark magical creatures, which I thought fit perfectly in an office that — despite Hermione’s efforts — are not yet accustomed to treating creatures as equals. I thought it was ironic and fitting for this chapter.

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Chapter 24

“Are you sure you don’t want to take this mission?” Harry asked, waving the sign up sheet in front of Ron. “It’ll be the easiest one, because there’ll be no one about to cause too much trouble.”

“Not likely,” Ron said, pushing the sheet away. “I’ll wait for the one that comes after Christmas. I’d much rather spend Christmas at the Burrow, and with Hermione, than in some run down inn in the middle of who knows where. Ginny won’t be happy when she finds out you’ve signed up to be away for Christmas, by the way.”

“Ginny will be away for Christmas,” Harry said. “Which is why I thought I’d do it.”

“Where will Ginny be?” Ron asked, surprised, as that was the first he’d heard of it.

“Training,” Harry said, shrugging. “Apparently all the new Harpies recruits are being put to the test over the Christmas break. She couldn’t even get the day off to Apparate home.”

“Huh,” Ron said, “life of a professional Quidditch player.”

“So it seems,” Harry said. “Though, thankfully, not quite professional yet.”

Ron, who had felt mildly put out when Ginny had told him she’d been offered a spot in the squad of the Holyhead Harpies, had taken some time to get used to the idea of his sister potentially becoming a professional Quidditch player in the next few months. He was proud of her, of course, but also, he wouldn’t have minded such a job — though, in reality, if he couldn’t perform well in front of the Hogwarts students, he doubted a larger crowd of fans would be any better.

But being in the team had come at a price of being forced to stay in Holyhead more than she could be at home. Sometimes, she’d be away for a week at a time, a fate which Ron sympathised with Harry over from when Hermione had gone to Australia.

“She’s home tonight, though?” Ron asked.

“Yeah, for the next few days,” Harry said. “Then she’s gone again.”

“Honestly, I thought that if Ginny wasn’t going to be home, you might want to spend some time with Teddy — and Andromeda. Mum would still love to have you, too, you know.”

Harry grimaced.

“Yeah… I’ll be seeing Teddy a little before Christmas. Spending a day with him… on my own this time. Completely on my own.”

“You’ll be fine,” Ron said. “He loves you.”

Harry laughed. “I wouldn’t say that, but it’s getting easier each time.”

“Except for the time he completely destroyed your living room, right?”

On one of the times Teddy had visited Harry — the now walking and running small child had gotten into everything that was in the Grimmauld place sitting room. He’d tore out books from bookshelves and ripped up some pages, knocked off empty vases and pulled down the few photos Harry had put up. Ron, who’d witnessed the event, had called Teddy a terror. Hermione had said it was normal for that age.

Harry shook his head at the memory. He’d had all visits with Teddy under the supervision of Andromeda since then.

Ron nodded. “Well, speaking of homes, I better go and drag Hermione from the office to make sure she actually leaves it today. Did you know she didn’t get home until one this morning? Apparently she was working so intently on one of these laws she’s been tasked to write that she lost track of time. She’s not eating properly either, forgoing meals to continue working.”

Harry gave a short laugh. “Well, that’s Hermione, isn’t it? Prioritising work above all else. Do you not remember exam time?”

“Yeah,” Ron said, “but she’s going to wear herself out if she keeps going. We haven’t had a proper conversation in about a week, because she gets home, goes straight to bed, then gets up at a ridiculous hour to head back in. Then, she skips her lunch breaks. She’s mad.”

Harry smiled. “Ah well, good luck tonight then. See you on Monday. Hopefully Hermione has a good rest over the weekend.”

“Ha!” Ron said. “Try telling her that.”

He gave Harry another wave, who’d just finished packing up his own stuff, and headed down the corridor from the Auror office.

The first missions for the trainees were coming up — experiencing time away, on a job. It wasn’t a planned job, and they didn’t yet know where they’d be going, as the Aurors were hoping something would eventuate in that time frame.

There would be one over Christmas (good character building, they said, for when they actually become Aurors and get unexpectedly called away from their loved ones) or one just after New Years.

Ron had chosen the one after New Years, with Neville, while Harry had elected for the Christmas one. He was mad, Ron reasoned. Who would willingly go away for Christmas?

He reached the lift, and instead of going to the atrium and to the fireplaces, he went to the level that the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was on. Most people headed in the opposite direction to him, with it being slightly after five and keen to get home. But Ron knew that he’d find Hermione hunched over at her desk still, scribbling away at the SPEW law she was working on.

Honestly, he didn’t know why she needed to do so much work for it. She had done much of the research back in her fourth year, but apparently much more than her fifteen year old had managed now needed to be done. Apparently, the long term goal was to banish house-elf enslavement altogether, but for the time being, the law was to have better control over the families house-elves were assigned to. And in the case of generational ownership, she sought to abolish that immediately.

Since August, when she’d started her job, Ron had spent countless evenings listening to her talk about it over dinner, and weekends sitting with her as she pored over books to gather her information. He’d been keen to begin with, but the novelty of it had soon worn off — especially when his own workload increased as he reached the halfway point of his second year of training.

Now, he just wanted her to come home and eat something with him — or, as things currently were, eat anything at all.

He pushed open the Magical Being office, unsurprised to see most desks empty. But over in the corner, by a wiggentree (the irony, Ron thought with a smile), sat Hermione. She didn’t even look up as Ron approached, but continued to scribble on a lengthy roll of parchment, her hand darting backwards and forwards quickly.

“Hey,” Ron said, drawing up a chair to sit opposite her. “It’s past five. You’ve got to come home.”

“I’ve just got to finish this,” Hermione said, not looking up from her work. “You can go. I may be a while.”

“Yeah, you said that last night,” Ron said, “and remind me again when you got home.”

“I lost track of time,” Hermione told him absently. She paused, her brows knitting together for a moment, and then started writing again, just as quick as before.

“Did you eat today?” Ron asked.

“I don’t remember.”

“So, no.”

“I’m far too busy. The workload is increasing each day. But I promise that once I get home, I’ll eat enough to make up for the meals I skipped today.” She paused, still not looking at him. “You can go,” she said again.

“Nope,” Ron said, “I won’t leave until you’re done, which is now.” He removed the quill from her grasp, but she’d not been expecting it, and the ink dragged across her page, leaving a smear across her freshly written notes.

“Ron!” Hermione cried, taking out her wand to remove the smudge. “Can you not do that?” She snatched the quill back, finally looking up at him.

“I want you to come home,” Ron said, a little defensive now. “You can’t stay here all night again. It isn’t healthy.”

“I’ve got so much to do, and it won’t get done —”

“You’re always going to have work to do,” Ron told her as she returned her gaze to the parchment. “And you’re the most organised person I know, so if I can balance my workload each day, then you can, too.”

“Yes, but I have far more than you do, Ron. You’re just a trainee, so you have the qualified —”

“Just a trainee?” Ron asked, a pang of something unpleasant creeping up on him now. “Is that how you see what I do, is it?”

Sighing, Hermione placed her quill down and looked up. She looked so tired, a little stressed — Ron had a feeling that not all of it was caused by her work.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, though she didn’t sound all that apologetic. “I just meant… well, an Auror — qualified or in training — is a lot more physical. You do more hands-on things, you’re out and about, so you’re not going to have as much desk work to do. It’s the nature of the job.”

Ron stared at her for a moment, not quite sure he was hearing what she was saying. It wasn’t even what she was saying, but how. She spoke as if what she was doing was far more important — something that had never happened before. She’d always encouraged him, supported him in his journey to become an Auror.

“An Auror is one of the most skilled positions in the magical world —”

“Ron, I know that —”

“Some didn’t even make it to the second year of training —”

“Ron, I didn’t mean… listen, I’m just really tired, and I really need to get this done. Can you just… leave me alone so I can finish it? I’ll be home as soon as I do, but the longer you’re here, the less I get finished.”

“Last week you were asking for my help,” Ron told her, unable to keep the hurt from his voice.

Hermione said nothing. For a moment, they looked at each other, then another moment later, Hermione looked back down at her work.

Ron waited a little longer, watching from the other side of her desk, but it became clear very quickly that she had no intention in having a change of heart.

Annoyed, upset, and a little angry, Ron jumped to his feet, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He watched her for a moment longer before saying, “I’ll see you at home, then. Whenever that will be.”

He marched to the door, but just as he went to swing it open, the magically coloured work timetable that appeared in every office, caught his eye. As they drew to the end of October, offices were beginning to plan for the holiday period.

He paused, reading through the timetable. “I see you’re working Christmas,” he said, not at all kindly.

Hermione gave a start, apparently having not realised he was still there.

“Oh, yes… they needed someone for a few hours in the evening. I said I could do it.”

Ron glared at the timetable for another moment, and then without a word to Hermione, he left. He didn’t go to the atrium, though, but returned to the Auror office, which was now empty.

Locating the sign-up sheets for the missions pinned on the noticeboard, Ron erased his name from the New Years one with his wand and scribbled his name on the Christmas one instead.

If Hermione didn’t think it important enough to take the Christmas break off, then neither did he. If she thought working during a time they were supposed to spend together was a better option, then he’d do the same. He didn’t care. It was only Christmas.

But even as he left, this time definitely returning to the atrium, a feeling of regret began to creep over him. They’d fought last Christmas because of something very similar, and he’d vowed to make sure it never happened again. But they were two months away from their second Christmas together, and already he was consumed with bitterness.

And now he’d just signed the holidays away to boot.

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andoqin · 3 years

Text

C-Novel Rec

So, I have a Deep Abiding Love for Chinese Webnovels, but not often do I get one that actually gets me deep in my heart in a way where I think about it after I’m done and so I wanted to talk about it a little here.

The novel I want to talk about is called Rebirth of a Star General (重生之女将星) , by Qian Shan Cha Ke (千山茶客). If you’ve read (hetero) c-novels, you might know her name, since she also wrote the novel Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage, which is almost a classic in this kind of rebirth genre.

This Rec/Review/overlong essay is going to contain spoilers, so if you’re completely allergic to those I’ll just give you my TL;DR here: I preferred it a lot over RMEML.

Now to my endless wall of words:

Rebirth of the Star General is pretty much what it says on the tin, main character He Yan, is a famous general in her own right, but no one knows about it because she was only the stand-in for her sickly brother. When her brother grew up and was no longer sick, the family decided that he should receive the military honors she had earned and she would be married off. This was possible thanks to the fact she had always worn a mask, so as not to be discovered.<o:p></o:p>

He Yan was not entirely happy with this decision, but she thought she would make the best of it. Of course, it gets worse because not even a year into her marriage she is first poisoned and then blind as a result and later murdered by her cousin, a concubine of her husband.

She gets reborn as He Yan, beloved and spoiled daughter of a city guard and vows revenge, both on her former husband and on her family, but most of all she longs to become a general again, but this time under her own name and with acknowledgement of her being a female general.

If you want your rebirth novels to include lots of face slapping or intricate revenge plotting, this is not the novel for you, since soon after she is reborn, she kills a guy out of self-defense and when his family and the city guard are after her she uses this chance to enlist in the army, disguised as a man.

This is where she meets her arch-rival in her previous life, a man so gorgeous, once again entire paragraphs are filled trying to describe his magnificent beauty - a hallmark of this author if I ever saw one. She decides she will use this chance anyway, her knowledge of military tactics and her knowledge of her rival (and former classmate) possibly being beneficial in this case.

The author makes it a point to emphasise that He Yan struggles initially to keep up with the military training, since she is now inhabiting the body of a woman who does not have experience with hard work and that she has to work twice as hard to be even mediocre, in the beginning. Obviously mediocrity does not lead to quick military advancement, so her getting incredibly fit very quickly anyway is not very realistic, but even before she had enlisted, He Yan had trained her new body and she has many years of experience as to how to get better and fighting experience, so I gave the novel a pass on that one.

Up to this point the novel was entertaining, but it didn’t really grip me too hard, although I was impatient enough to MTL it, but as the story goes along He Yan really developed into one of my favourite c-novel heroines ever. So often in novels like this, the female character is treated as exceptional and all other women are dumb bitches, often just in the way of our main couple and dispatched accordingly. But He Yan does not treat other women like this and over the course of the novel builds lasting connections with all sorts of women.

And then there is the scene that made me go: okay yeah, this is going right up the favourite list.

He Yan meets up with the Second Male Lead (who never really is a serious threat to the OTP, He Yan only ever sees him as a friend and somewhat nice guy) and he tries the “oh you’re so unique and special, no other woman is like you” speech, but He Yan stops him and rips into him and the patriarchy in such a beautiful way, that even MTL doesn’t hamper:

"A-He is very different from ordinary women."

He Yan looked at her, "What's different?"

Chu Zhao continued to walk forward, his voice still soft: "Most women, even though they are faced with such a predicament, are already numb and indifferent, and do not think as much as Ah He does. If A-He is thinking about them now, it is very likely that they wont enjoy it, and they will even complain that you are meddling in their affairs."

He laughed: "This sounds a bit condescending."

Chu Zhao smiled, "Why do you say that?"

"The court is a man's court, the world's affairs are a man's world affairs, even when studying in the battlefield, it is men who are the only ones who have the grace. It is so unreasonable that men take advantage of the world, but in turn blame women for being numb-minded and unmotivated, what is this if not superiority?"

"Brother Chu thinks that I am different from ordinary women because I have studied, I have left the house, and I even went to the military camp. But if you let those women be like me, who have seen the snow of Liangzhou Wei, the water of Jiyang City, the long moon of the desert, the rivers and mountains, do you think they would still be willing to be trapped in a jealous mansion, would they still be complacent and numb and foolish?"

She smiled a little bit like Xiao Jue, "I think the men in the world are worried about this, so they have set up many ridiculous rules to bind women, breaking their wings with the three rules and five rules, and using those unwarranted 'virtuous wives and beautiful women' to judge them. The more foolish they are, the more reassured the men are, and the more they say, 'See, the women are shallow', when they are the ones who caused it!"

"Because they also know that once women are given the chance to 'choose', they will never become a vase in the harem with their hands outstretched waiting to be fed by their husbands. Those good women would become generals, chivalrous men, scribes, staff, and compete with them for the grace of the world, and they, in turn, might not win."

The girl's eyes were as clear as the water in the springtime of Ji Yang City, transparent and clear, seeing clearly and distinctly, as if they could reflect the most splendid daylight.

He was always able to speak well and would not bring the atmosphere to an awkward point, but at this moment he did not know what to say. It was as if there was nothing he could say to refute the person in front of him. It was clearly a ridiculous, insouciant, naive and annoyingly righteous statement, but it shone out the shadow of a human being, with nothing to hide.

He was also uneven in his heart.

Although pretending to be "He Ru Fei" had brought her a lot of pain in her life, it had also taught her to see sights that many women would never see in their lifetime. If she hadn't pretended to be "He Ru Fei", she would not have known that men could do so much more than women. If you were talented in literature, you could be a bachelor with a full belly, if you were skilled, you could be a general with a good war record. Even if you were mediocre at everything, you could still be the most ordinary man on the street. To put it mildly, even at the Raketongzhuang, women were gambling prostitutes and men were gamblers.

It was only because she later became "Madam Xu" and worked as both a man and a woman that she realised that the world treats men and women so differently, that it is not that men do not suffer, but their suffering can be the basis for judging themselves. The women, on the other hand, spend their lives waiting for the men's affirmation of their hardships.

It is obvious that they are both born as human beings, but who is more noble than the other? It is ridiculous that some men still look down on girls from the bottom of their hearts, which makes people speechless.

and this is when the author pretty much states why He Yan would never be with SML

Chu Zhao and Xiao Jue were, after all, not the same. With women, they both considered them weak and unable to protect themselves. But the former's judgement had a hint of negativity and condescension in it, while the latter, as evidenced by the treatment of the female corpse in the Sun family's backyard in Liangzhou City, had more to do with pity.

And I loved that so much??? Yes, both the ML and SML have patriarchical attitudes towards women, but for He Yan there is a subtle and important difference. And this continues to be a theme throughout the book. One woman later keeps telling her son “Don’t underestimate women!” to later add, after He Yan has become a female general in her own right, under her own name, that He Yan might not be the only female general, there will be two, three or even more.

The romance is of the very, very slow variety and the main couple doesn’t even get together until the last quarter of the novel, officially, but before that we have all sorts of delicious fake relationship, cohabitation and other delightful tropey shenanigans.

The slow romance and relatively easy way the revenge is dealt out might mean this is not for everyone, but if you’re into a nice novel about a woman realising her goals, with a man who will always support her by her side, this might be for you.

And yes, she continues to lead armies after they are married :D

#rebirth of a star general #i read stuff #rec #novel rec #het novel

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fortheloveoffanfic · 4 years

Text

Put Me In a Movie

Keanu Reeves x reader (A/n- I actually though this chapter wasn’t gonna happen. But I’m a procrastinator at heart here it is. The version of Crimson and Clover quoted is the original by Tommy James and the Shondells)

Summary Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Warnings- Angst, sort of, I guess(?)

Chapter 8- Inescapable Bitterness

"Dad!" Y/n shrieked, everything blurring, nearly tripping over the edge of the rug as she stumbled to his path, in an effort to stop him from assaulting Keanu. Standing about a foot in front of him, with her arms outstretched defensively, she racked her brain for helpful words, quickly discarding the useless and desperately searching for anything that would make their situation better. Though, in the end, all she could come up with was a ridiculous, shaky, "This isn't what it looks like."

Vaguely, in the background, Y/n could hear Keanu's confused; "It's not?" But she quickly decided that that was an issue for much later. If there was even a later after everything was over.

"Yeah?" Roger folded his arms across his chest, his shoulders under his red and black flannel tightening and the veins at the side of his neck and on his forehead prominent, "So what the hell is it?" He gave her a couple minutes to scamper for an appropriate response. Though, when not as much as a peep left her mouth, he started moving around her to get to Keanu, "Cause it looks like Keanu's been taking advantage of my kid."

Loudly, she scoffed in disbelief, grabbing Rogers's forearms to keep him here he was, "He's not taking advantage of me, I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself."

"You're twenty-two," Roger managed, exasperated, shaking off Y/n's grip. Finally free, he approached Keanu and they stood head to head. Y/n could figure out if Keanu was just gonna take a punch or if they were going to have a full on fight, “And he’s fifty five. To him, you are a kid.”

“She’s not a kid,” Keanu managed through gritted teeth, standing tall. If he was phased by Roger, he was definitely good at hiding it.

“Yeah, you should know, right?” Neither of them made a move to get physical; her father was always more of a pacifist, getting loud if necessary but never violent, at least, not in any instance that she could recall. "You had no business."

"I didn't know she was your daughter-"

"It doesn't matter who's kid I am!" Y/n's hasty interjection was met with startled stares, "I'm an adult dad, and I'm gonna date whoever I want."

Before Y/n could speak again, Roger was interrupting, "You think I don't know that? But he's thirty years older than you. And you said it yourself; he doesn't want anything serious, so I'm not gonna stand back and let him hurt you."

She understood his point, well, she tried to; when you have kids, you want to protect them, make sure no harm came their way. But you also couldn't do it forever, there'd come a time when they'd have to make their own mistakes. And if Keanu was one of those mistakes, Y/n was willing to find out on her own. "I know," her tone softened empathically, "And I appreciate that dad, but I'm not sixteen anymore, you can't just yell at the guy I'm dating and ground me so we don't see each other again. I'm an adult and I can don’t need you to protect me all the time."

Tentatively, Keanu added, "She's right Rog-"

"No,” he turned, pointing warningly, his face still beet red with anger, “You stay out of this! God you’re-” Unable to find the words, Roger cut himself off, shaking his head, huffing so he could catch his breath. It was clear to Y/n that he was no longer willing to put up a verbal fight, though she knew that the next time they saw each other in private, all wouldn’t be as it typically was. She was definitely in for a lengthy lecture, the one she’d been duly avoiding.

Sighing heavily, her father finally continued, his tone significantly softer that time, "Look, I get it, you're a grown up, you can do whatever you want," reluctantly, he shook his head, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair, "I can't stop you. But," at that, he turned to face Keanu, his expression hardening once again, and his pointer finger jammed into Keanu’s chest, "If you hurt her, and I mean this, I will destroy you."

"I…."

Before either of them could respond, Roger was already headed for the door, the thuds of his boots heavy on the floor, not even looking back as Y/n called after him, scurrying slowly so she wouldn't actually have to grab him. "Come on. Dad," she tried one final, fruitless time, before he was pulling the door shut behind him, sound of it closing enough to bring a chilly finality to their interaction.

Y/n stood, rooted the floor, staring at the white painted double doors hopelessly. Her heart thumped erratically against her chest as panic swoll up slowly. Y/n hadn't seen her father mad at anyone like that since he'd left her mother. Just like he'd left her a few minutes ago. It was absolutely irrational, she was an adult, and the situation was completely different, but Y/n couldn't help but worry that it would end the same. That really, she was like Elane. First it was Luke, and now her own father. She hurt people too, just like her.

Her glassy eyes stung and there was a lump caught in her throat that couldn't be remedied in time to respond to Keanu's calls. Y/n's lips quivered, though she didn't have the slightest clue on if it was due to words unsaid or her sheer, though unwarranted panic. She had to fix things, she couldn't lose her father again. And it couldn't be her fault.

"Y/n," Keanu called out to her again, that time, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. Jumping slightly, a little gasp escaped her parted lips as she turned, and her paled cheeks were enough to exaggerate the emotion in her eyes. Even as she looked at him, even if he'd drawn her attention, Keanu's words seemed to have failed him and he simply stood there with her, his touch not as intimate as the ones they'd shared over the past two months, but his eyes were sympathetic and dim.

Keanu couldn't have recalled a worse time to be rendered speechless. He knew that he should have said something, anything, but nothing seemed right. He couldn't believe that he hadn't put the pieces together; her name and the things he'd heard from Roger in the past. Hell, it was probably plastered all over the fucking internet. But ignorance is bliss.

Would he have been with her if he knew who she was? If they'd met a few years before, when he and her father were frequent poker buddies, playing rounds with a slew of other bachelors at Chateau Marmont on Thursday nights?

Sometimes, over the summer, Roger would skip poker or whatever else they'd planned, telling everyone that he was headed to spend some time with his daughter. "She's great," he'd say, a haughty, proud smile plastered on his features as he slapped Keanu on the back, "I've gotta bring her out to meet everyone some time."

He'd never brought her.

And now, Keanu knew her. Better than any of those other men surrounding the green felt ever would. It was funny, Keanu thought, back then, he'd envy Roger, wishing that he'd have someone waiting to spend vacation with him. Someone he could spend hours talking about, being proud of. Someone he loved. Maybe a kid, maybe a wife, just anyone really. But shortly after that, he'd aged out of it, the tingle of jealousy turning into disinterest; his time for those things had passed, and all that was left were fleeting pleasures.

Reverting to the present, Keanu tired to blink the guilt away, refocusing his attention on Y/n, who still seemed tragically bewildered, "Y/n-"

"I don't want to talk about it right now," she sunk into herself and Keanu couldn't help but be a little grateful. He didn't think he'd do a very good job at explaining things, and he could tell that their….. companionship had hit a new level of fragility, now easily shattered by whatever came next.

"What do you want to do?" Desperately, Keanu needed her to tell him. He wanted to fix things for her, for them, but the situation was less than familiar, it wasn't everyday that he'd get caught with his hands up a friend's daughter's blouse, and really, Keanu didn't have the slightest clue on what would make things better. It would help if she'd let him in, but he'd learnt that Y/n wasn't the type of person that was quick to do something like that; he'd have to earn the privilege of hearing her thoughts. Though seeing her like that, so shaken and in need of comfort and an emotional band aid, he ached to do something, even if it meant she'd have to spell it out.

For a moment more, Y/n regarded him curiously, as if assessing to see whether or not his offer was a genuine one. "Have a drink with me," she finally determined, slipping out of his loose grasp and heading to the kitchen.

"Why don't we go out?" Keanu offered, he knew just the place he'd take her, it was secluded and not too popular, meaning that they wouldn't have been discovered, and they served almost every kind of liquor available. It was the perfect combination of trashy and classy.

Her hand was already gripping the handle of the refrigerator, though, it wasn't open yet when she stopped to consider his offer. Going out would be good, at least she could forget the horridity of what had not too long ago happened. "For drinks?"

"Yeah," Keanu nodded slowly, slipping his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans, "If we leave soon, it shouldn't take us too long to get there."

A faint ghost of a smile brushed Y/n's lips, and she let her hand fall to her side as she nodded, “Okay, let’s do it.”

Instead of taking the bike he’d gone to her place with, they’d taken Y/n’s car after she’d showered and changed into a simple pair of black ripped jeans and a leather jacket, with a loose, lace tank top on the inside. The drive had been an hour and a half longer than Y/n had expected it to be, and she and Keanu had spent most of it in tense silence. She couldn’t figure out if she was mad at him for not trying to break it off or if she wanted it to stay that way for a while.

For the most part, she’d spent the ride propped on her arm, jammed against the passenger door, while Keanu manned the driver’s seat, maneuvering her sleek grey vehicle with ease; five fingers easily closed around the velvet wheel covering, his other hand stationed on his thigh, never reaching over console. At some point, she’d turned the stereo on, playing what she had saved there, but the soft hum of music wasn’t enough to cut the tension swirling around the enclosed vehicle, and at some point, Y/n had shifted her gaze, to out the window, staring blindly as glittering buildings grew sparse, replaced with houses, those eventually becoming infrequent too while periods where the headlights were the only source of light growing longer and longer. Desolate desert lined the street on both sides, and it was like that for a considerable chunk of the journey, until, out of nowhere really there a bar came into sight.

It was at the helm of what looked like a small, scantily populated town and didn’t look very credible with beat up concrete walls and a gravel filled parking lot. When Keanu parked, her Tesla stood out impressively among the less eventful cars that were there, scattered about the large lot. There weren’t many though, and when Keanu led her through the door, Y/n found that there weren’t many patrons either.

The nameless establishment was just as she suspected, a bit worn down from years of use; upholstery boasting hints of wear and tear while the heavy wooden interior constituting the lengthy bar, chair frames and floors told their age in surface scratches and a dulled color that was mostly hidden by the dim yellow lighting. A lone television hung over one end of the counter, the rerun of a football game on mute while rock music wafted softly from speakers stationed at the corners. It wasn’t at all the kind of place that Y/n usually ventured to, with her half a handful of friends; it had a sort of eighties biker feel that she found was charming. As far as she was concerned, the bar didn’t have a name, but it had one hell of a personality.

With a gentle hand stationed at the center of her back, Keanu led Y/n to a circled booth at one of the corners, leaving her for a handful of minutes to get them a couple of drinks- that definitely wasn't the kind of place with a wait staff. He returned not too long after, setting down a couple glasses of whiskey neat. “I figured you’d want something strong after…..”

“Yeah,” Y/n breathed, bringing the simple glass to her lips, wincing at the burn of the alcohol. It wasn’t as smooth as the ones she’d witnessed Keanu ordering before, he had exquisite taste when it came to spirits, but it was definitely from the top shelf. “That was…..” Embarrassing? Traumatizing? Confusing?

Even if she hadn’t finished, Keanu knew exactly what she was talking about. It really wasn’t up there with the moments of his life that he wanted on mental speed dial, but it was too late, forever, probably every time he saw that armchair at her place or wore that t-shirt, Keanu would remember, and probably cringe, at that memory. It was branded into his brain. “It was,” he followed suit when Y/n took another swing of her drink, quietly hissing at the tinge of the amber liquid

Y/n took several of those ‘almost’ breaths, the kind that people took before they said something important or asked a question that they weren’t too sure of. The type where you’d inhale, but only halfway and where your chest expanded, but not noticeably so. Those breaths. “How do you know him?” When Keanu glanced up at her, the darkness of his gaze was seemingly tripled by the shoddy lighting as dark strands curtained his ruggedness. He was so attractive, so sinfully perfect, it was hard to believe that he and her father could be the same age. Why’d he have to be so handsome?

“Your dad?” He cleared his throat, staring at his drink, probably considering downing it in one go, before looking up at her again, “When I used to live at Chateau Marmont, about….” he thought on it for a minute, “Maybe twenty years ago, he’d stay there whenever he was in Los Angeles, we’d talk in passing but didn’t really know each other personally,” Y/n listened intently, her head tilted to the side, some of her loose hair cascading over her shoulder, her head propped up by her hand as she leaned into the lip of the table. She didn’t remember anything from the time Keanu was referring to, she couldn’t have been more than a couple years old anyway. “We only got to really know each other after I moved out,” he leaned into his side of the small booth, one fist still on the table, the other hand bringing his glass to his lips, moistening his lips before he continued, “I’d still go sometimes, and then Roger- your dad,” Keanu seemed unsure of how to refer him from them on, and Y/n was too intrigued to offer anything helpful, “He told me that he was living there, he and his wife were separated.”

Y/n gasped quietly; that must have been no more than a few months before her parents’, very messy, divorce but definitely after he’d left their home. It wasn’t breaking news that he’d spent a few years at a hotel before finding himself the Malibu pad, but Y/n just hadn’t known what hotel he’d been living at. “That’s it?” Y/n probed, referring to Keanu's long pause.

He’d hoped it was enough to appease her, though Y/n could apparently see right through him, already knowing that he was holding back, “No,” he sighed heavily, “The two of us, and some of the other regulars started playing poker together on Thursday nights, drinking and whatever,” he waved it off, not going into much more detail. “He talked about you a lot,” Keanu quirked half smile, “How smart you are, how proud he was and how lucky he was to have such a great kid.”

Huffing quietly, Y/n took another sip of her whiskey, returning his faint smile. She always knew that her father was proud of her, Roger never made any attempt to hide it, but hearing it from someone else sparked a warmness in her chest. As upset as he’d been when he left her apartment that evening, Keanu’s words were enough to instill some level of reassurance, he was still her father, and he’d always love her.

“Did you know?” Earlier, Y/n had heard Keanu tell her father, several times, that he didn’t know who she was, but Y/n had to hear it for herself. She needed the truth, desperately.

For the first time, since they’d left her building, Keanu reached out to touch her, easing her grip from the glass and taking hold of the tips of her fingers, “I promise you,” he leaned forward, his eyes pleading with hers to believe him, “I had no idea. I should have put together somehow. If I’d known……” Keanu let the words trail off, thinking better of hurting her like that.

But Y/n wasn’t so quick to let the issue go, “If you’d known?” Keanu just carried on with absently stroking her knuckles, turning his face towards the open space of the floor left for dancing. There was no one there, everyone seemed interested in drinking and quiet chatter, but nothing more. “If you’d known,” she repeated slowly, dragging his attention back to the moment, “What would you have done?”

He probably wouldn’t have fucked her.

Probably wouldn’t have cornered her in an empty pool.

He probably wouldn’t have asked her out, or whatever he’d done.

Keanu probably wouldn't have done a lot of things.

But he couldn’t tell her that and risk hurting her. Besides, that would have been a really awkward ride back. “Come on,” he polished off his drink, pulling Y/n off the seat, gently tugging her towards the makeshift dance floor. “Dance with me,” pretending to not hear her question, or rather, blatantly ignoring it was probably his safest, least emotionally taxing option. And Keanu was going to take it and run.

“I asked you a question,” Y/n urged, though, still letting Keanu pull her to his chest. An old song was playing, one from when he was a teenager, a slow rock ballad that had been covered several times since the original.

Ah, now I don’t hardly know her But I think I could love her.

"I know," Keanu held Y/n against him, looking down at her head against his chest, his arms wrapped around her middle and hers looped his neck. They swayed slowly in one place, not really in time with the beat but, unless his eyes had betrayed him, Keanu didn't think the other patrons were paying them any mind anyway.

My, my such a sweet thing I want to do everything What a beautiful feeling

Y/n shifted her head, casting her gaze to the glittering bottles adoring the oak shelves behind the bar, fixed on the skewed reflection of their forms of the reflective glass behind the stocks, bodies in sync though minds gravely troubled. "Aren't you going to answer me?" Her words were void of any urgency, a mere, husky whisper barely heard above the hypnotizing mantra of Tommy James.

Crimson and clover, over and over Crimson and clover, over and over Crimson and clover, over and over

"No," was all he offered, just as softly as her previous words, one of his hands sliding to the center of Y/n’s back. She didn’t look at him, apparently unaffected, but considering their position didn’t afford Keanu a ready view of her expression, he didn’t think he could actually determine anything.

Keanu didn't need to tell her for either of them to know. He prided himself, well typically, on being the keeper of a strong moral compass. Infidelity wasn't something he took lightly, even if he'd proven himself wrong in recent months. But a friend's daughter? That was something else.

Keanu didn't tell her, Y/n knew it anyway.

If he'd known, he'd have never slept with her.

If he'd known, they wouldn't even be standing there.

It was a tumultuous thought. And the worst part? Neither of them knew if they'd preferred it that way or not.

********

Tagging- @harrisongslimited @paanchu786 @thesadvampire @fanficsrusz @fickensteinn @ladyreapermc @babygirltaina @septimaseverina @snatchedbylele @omg-imagine @21stcenturyyfoxx @magnificentclodpiebanana @allie1804-fan @keandrews @greenmanalishi

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x you #john wick #john wick x reader #keanu reeves fanfic #fanfic #ff #john wick fanfic #put me in a movie #chapter 8 #keanu reeves fanfiction #fanfiction #series #lana del rey #angst

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psycheswritings · 4 years

Text

Nothing’s Fair in Love and War - Three

Title: Nothing’s Fair in Love and War Fandom: Peaky Blinders Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Daphne Scott (OFC) Warnings: Swearing, I guess. Word Count: 5019 Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Life has been a bitch this week and I was hating everything I wrote. Thanks to everybody that liked and commented on the fic, honorary mentions to @blues022, @livingmybestfakelife, @livvtheangel and @stressedandbandobessed7771 - thank you all for taking your time to review this, it makes my heart swoon with happiness. @livvtheangel kindly asked for me to add some kind of separation between the scenes to make it easier to read, I have already done it on the other parts and will do it in every chapter from now on. It was supposed to have a blank space between the scenes but God knows what happened. Let me know if its better this way. And, finally, before I go, @stressedandbandobessed7771 asked to be tagged in the series, which I'm going to do from now on, and I wanted to let you all know that if anybody wants to be tagged too, let me know. As always, this haven’t been proofread, so feel free to report any mistakes back to me; warnings are expecific for each chapter. Also, your feedback is also highly appreciated. I relly hope you like this one. Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Daphne receives a very unexpected invitation while the Shelby's have to deal with Sabini's retaliation. Tommy buys a new horse and gets to know a possible new asset at the same time that Polly tries to understand what is the nature of his interest in the woman working with Solomons. Ada has a heart to heart with her friend and Alfie makes a surprise for Daphne.

Three

“Next month?!” Daphne’s shocked expression and high-pitched tone of voice made the engaged couple laugh. William was a little behind them, by the door, a smirk on his face. “Now I understand what you’re saying about them hushing things.”

“You never believe me.” Daphne just rolled her eyes at his mockery before Jane quipped in her defense.

“Well, you have a habit of overreacting about things.” The doctor narrowed his eyes to looks at his sister.

“Always knew that you were going to be a little traitor.” They all laughed, apart from William, although everyone knew that it was just an act.

“Nothing like a little display of sibling love by the Weston’s.” Alfie commented, surprising Daphne with his good mood. The last few days had been a little strange for them, both had totally ignored the episode of the window, but his words kept coming back to haunt the woman every time she looked at him. She was distracted observing him when their eyes met, Alfie gave her a heartwarming smile that Daphne promptly returned.

“We are always happy to entertain, Alfie.” There was false mockery in his tone.

“But we didn’t come here for William to complain about everything.” She turned to face the other woman, her expression was serious but joyful. “I want you to be my maid of honor.” Daphne blinked a few times, shock washing trough her. She expected to be invited to the weeding, of course - the two of them were good friends, after all – but being Jane’s maid of honor wasn’t something that she had in mind.

“Oh, I… Of course. It will be my pleasure.” Jane got up to embrace her friend, bubbling with happiness.

“William here already accepted to be the best man, despite his constants complains.” That resulted in Charles receiving a slap on the back of the head, given by his future brother-in-law, making them all laugh aloud.

“In all these years that I know him I never saw William do anything without complaining.” He looked at Daphne shaking his head.

“What’s this, a plot to ruin my reputation?”

“What reputation, mate?” Charles chocked in laughter and soon the others accompanied him.

“Et tu, Brute?”

“What can I say, mate. You make it too easy, aye.” When they all recovered from their laughter, Jane addressed herself to the gangster.

“Of course you’re invited too, Alfie.”

“And I will be there, for sure. Wouldn’t miss William’s speech for anything.” That was something that Daphne had missed, the friendly banter between Alfie and William, that brought a genuine smile to her face that didn’t escaped Alfie’s eyes.

“The betrayal. I thought we were friends, Solomons.” The doctor complained while Alfie just shrugged.

“What can I say, business is business, my friend.”

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

“This had better be good to interrupt my holiday.” Polly rushes into the betting shop after John has opened the door that connects it to the house. It’s clear that she is in a hurry and in no mood to small talk.

“Where's the boy?” Arthur asked when she was putting her things on the table.

“In the back room. I only brought him because afterwards we're going to the museum.” Another obvious thing was that she didn’t wanted Michael involved in the family business, even though she knew it was an herculean task.

“He wanted to come in and say hello but...”

“Shut up, John. There is nothing of interest to Michael in this room.” Said nephew stopped talking altogether, looking a little dismayed. “Tommy, get on with it.”

“Last night, one of our men had his throat cut in Winson Green. This morning, I had a telegram to say it was Sabini who ordered it.”

“And it says here that Thomas Shelby's next.” Arthur added, ripping said telegram into pieces. Despite the death threat on his life, Thomas didn’t looked that concerned, like he wasn’t with most things. Just another day in the job.

“If our men think we can't look after them in prison, they'll not work for us. Sabini knows that. So we need to get the Green sorted out. Scudboat, you and one of the boys. Break a couple of windows and get yourselves arrested. I'll have our coppers get you into the Green and you can find the bastards who did it.”

“Instead of breaking a window, can we pinch a car?” All of the men, besides from Tommy, start laughing. “What? Everybody else is getting a bloody car. I'm still on a donkey.”

“All right, just get yourselves fucking arrested, it doesn't matter how. And before you all laugh, a boy is dead. He was just a kid. We'll start a fund for his family, Pol.”

“Agreed.” The woman says, solemnly. “So is that it? Can I go now?” She starts picking up her things just to hear Tommy talking again.

“Well, as company treasurer, I need your permission to spend a thousand guineas.” That makes her stop and look at him.

“On what?”

“On a horse.”

“A thousand guineas on a horse?”

“That's right.”

“When was this decided?” She starts passing, deep in thinking.

“You've been busy with Michael.” He knew that she would question it but this was a means to an end. Sometimes it was difficult to make people see what he saw. Even Polly.

“Oh, my God. So, in the absence of common sense, you boys have had an idea.”

“Polly there's a thoroughbred quarter-Arab filly up for auction at the Doncaster Blood Stock.” Polly looks at him.

“What do we want with a thousand guinea horse?” Tommy sighs, before explaining.

“When we make our move on Sabini's racing pitches, any men we get into the betting enclosure will be lifted by Sabini's police. A good racehorse is a passport to the owner's enclosure.”

“We'll be in there with all the toffs. Coppers won't know where to look.” Arthur adds and John accompanies him, excitedly.

“Yeah, the Epsom Derby, Pol. We'll be drinking with the bloody King.”

“The Derby? Did he say the Derby?” The glare Thomas gave to his younger brother erased the smile in John’s face while he lowered his head. The leader of the Peaky Blinders took a deep breath and cleared his throat before speaking.

“That's right. For the last ten years, Sabini has made it his race. If we're going to take him down, might as well make it there as a symbol.”

“Did you come up with this idea in a pub by any chance?” Her tone was drenched in pure sarcasm.

“Pol a good racehorse is an investment, like property. We need to diversify the portfolio.”

“So when is this sale?”

“Tomorrow.”

“And Tommy's had a death threat so we'll have to go with him for protection.” The older of the Shelby siblings explained.

“So, you're going to close up the shop, go out on a piss-up and blow a thousand guineas on a horse that's not even whole Arab?”

“Quarter Arab is better! Quarter Arab, it means...” Polly cuts him off.

“Curly, shut up.” The door that connects the betting shop to the house open to reveal Michael. Polly instantly looks reprovingly at John. “I thought I told you to lock that door.”

“He did. I used the key on the nail.” The younger boy explains. “Look, I've been listening. I want to go with them.”

“You see?!” The Shelby matriarch throws her arms up in exasperation while Tommy looks at his cousin.

“I love horses. I could even help!” The excitement mixed with hope that his mother would allow him to go with his cousins was evident in Michael’s face.

“Over my dead body.” The older woman said, crossing her arms.

“It'll be all right, Mum. I've been to loads of horse auctions before with my uncle. They're very respectable. People bring their butlers.”

“Yeah, and their posh wives!” Arthur said, smirking and taking a sip of his whiskey.

“And their mistresses.” Added John, elbowing his cousin while they laughed.

“Let him come, Polly.” Arthur tried to convince the woman. “We'll go there, buy a horse, come back.”

“I'll drop him back at the house in Sutton before it gets dark.” Promised John to his aunt.

“No. Fucking no.” Michael left the room slamming the door behind him, clearly upset. Polly looked at Thomas and after a minute that seemed to last too long, he treated to clear the room.

“All right, that's it. Back to work.” All of the men started to leave, going back to his own tasks. John stayed behind, approaching his aunt.

“Come on! Aunt Pol, when I was Michael's age, I'd killed a hundred men and seen a thousand die. If you want to scare that kid away forever, carry on how you are going. If you want him to stay, let him come.”

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Thomas couldn’t say that he was surprised to see his aunt entering his office later that day. After the incident with Michael earlier he expected that she would come around, he just didn’t predicted the reason why she wanted to talk to him.

“How’s Michael?” He asked when she took a sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk, his eyes not leaving the papers he was analyzing.

“Beaming with happiness now that he wored me down to go with you lot, tomorrow.” She answered with a sigh. “But that’s not what bought me here.”

“What it is then?”

“That woman” Polly started, waiting for his attention to be back on her, but he ignored it completely, the only reaction that she got was his pen freezing for a couple of seconds “the one you and Ada were taking to at the Garrison.”

“What about her?” His tone was dismissive, however, his aunt wasn’t foolish. She was pissed off with him that night at the reopening of the Garrison, but she most definitely saw his interaction with the unknown woman that had arrived and departed of the pub like smoke, but not before drawing all eyes to her.

“Who is she?”

“She is the woman who works with Solomons.” He hoped that would end with the interrogation but he wasn’t that lucky.

“The one you were curious about?” Tommy exhaled loudly, dropping the document he was currently reading to look at his aunt.

“Yeah, that would be her.”

“She knows our Ada.” She would have asked Ada about the woman if she had had the chance, – her niece certainly would be less evasive than Thomas -but her son had appeared at her door and the subject escaped to the back of her mind. Also, the gipsy woman needed to see his reaction to know if they were going to have another problem like they had with that barmaid.

“Yes, they know each other from London.”

“I want to meet her.” He wrinkled his forehead.

“Why?”

“Because the last time a woman caught your attention your judgment became clouded and we both know that it didn’t end well.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Maybe not yet, but I know the look in your eyes. She intrigues you. I noticed the first time you talked about her. I brushed it off because I thought it was just because of the business, but the way you behaved yourself around her that night at the Garrison tells me otherwise.” Thomas takes a deep breath but does not confirm or denies her suspicions.

“I’m certain that Ada can schedule tea for you three...”

“No. I want you to be there.” She wanted to see firsthand how he reacted to this girl because the last thing that Polly trusted was in men and their cocks. Thomas wasn’t the worst of the Shelby brothers in this topic – John was the man whore of the three of them – but since he was in charge of things in the family, the potential of trouble was higher.

“I will see what I can do.”

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“To the premises of Mr. Charles Strong, Small Heath.” The man wrote down on the book before looking up at Tommy. “What kind of premises?”

“Boat yard.” The Brummie answered unamused.

“Yachts?”

“Canals.”

“I'm curious. What is your business, Mr. Shelby?” The man asked, giving Tommy a piece of paper.

“Import, export.” Before he left, Tommy added. “But I also sell pegs and tell fortunes.”

“You beat us to it.” The feminine voice made him stop and turn around - it was the woman of the auction. The one who had been stealing glances at the gangster since they arrived.

“Did I?”

“I was trying to nab a filly for my stud.” Thomas knew that she was only trying to catch his attention, but he played along.

“Sorry.”

“Thomas Shelby from where?” He took a deep breath before answering.

“From Birmingham.”

“Goodness!” There was a certain amount of surprise in her voice, mixed with shock.

“No, not much.”

“May Carleton.” She extended her hand for him and he took it. “I breed racehorses and train them. What is it you do?”

“I rarely answer questions, is what I do.”

“Tommy, come on, hurry up! We've got to go!” Arthur shouted in the background, laughing.

“Well, before you go, if you ever decided to put that filly out, I'd be interested in having her.”

“I plan to race her.” She looked at him surprised.

“Do you have a trainer?”

“I know people.”

“I know people, too.” The woman replied giving Tommy her card.

“Tommy! We've got to get this kid back before dark or Polly will have your balls!” John shouted this time while they all laughed.

“She will have 'em!” Arthur quipped in.

“We know different people, I would guess.” Tommy just ignored his brother’s giggles in the background.

“My father knows Mick Hancock. Trained three Ascot winners.”

“Oh, so that was your father?” He was right, them. She was talking to him for a reason – a reason that didn’t involve the horse at all.

“Yes. We're joint owners of the stud. He took the majority share when my husband was killed. Ypres.”

“Tommy! We've got to get back to the caravans! The chickens are hungry!” May looked at them and chuckled before asking.

“So will you consider me?”

“I will consider you.”

“You still didn't tell me what you do.” Tommy turned to face her again.

“Oh, I do bad things. But you already know that.” She could be a good asset for their plan and maybe – hopefully - help him get his mind off of the damn mystery that was Daphne Scott.

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Things have been quite calm for Daphne since she received Jane’s invitation to be her maid of honor. She saw the girl almost daily now, helping her prepare everything that was needed for the ceremony in such a short time. To say that the youngest of the Weston’s siblings was beaming with joy would be an understatement – she was all smiles and compliments and it ended up rubbing off on Daphne, even if just a little bit.

She had met William a couple of times too, since he was involved in the preparations as much as her seeing that he wasn’t just the best man but also the bride’s older brother. He tried to sound annoyed in every meeting, but Daphne knew that he was happy for the couple, just worried that his little sister would be out of his sight from now on.

Alfie was an entirely different matter. Things had been as normal as you would expect between them. No more visits from Thomas Shelby, no more employees being knocked out cold, everything seemed to run smoothly. However, Daphne knew in her heart that something wasn’t right. More than once, she had caught him staring at her from the distance with a frown on his face, deep in thinking. He usually did not even noticed that she had caught him staring, but when he did, the Jew made quick work to turn the other way, pretending that nothing happened.

In all the years she had known him, Daphne never gave too much though about the reasons why he kept her around. Alfie wasn’t exactly what you could call “a man of his word”. She had seen him betray his associates for his own benefit more than once - and being brutally honest, she couldn’t say that if the roles were reversed she would have done different. With her, thought, he always had been anything but loyal. He had helped her in the moment she most needed and they constructed a strong bond. Strong enough for her to consider him family.

In all the years they have worked together, they learned how to read each other – that was one of the reasons why they functioned so well as partners. And that’s why she knew she wasn’t going crazy because he was, most certainly, hiding something from her. His words kept hammering in her head: “Do you trust me? Because sometimes I wish you didn’t.”.

“You look like Tommy.” Daphne blinked a few times while looking at Ada.

“What?”

“You do this thing of looking straight away, to nowhere, not blinking or moving while you’re deep in thinking. He does that sometimes.” Ada laughed when the other woman raised one eyebrow at her. “I can’t help it if you two have so much in common.” There was a pause while she poured the both of them another cup of tea. “He’s been asking about you.”

“Who?” Ada rolled her eyes, sitting down on the chair again.

“You know who. My knucklehead of a brother.” Daphne laughed at that while the other woman just observed her carefully. There was a hint of concern in her voice when she asked “Why is he so interested in you, Daph?”

“It’s not in me he’s interested in, it’s in my relationship with Alfie.” Or so she had been trying to convince herself. Since she last talked to Harriet Daphne had been trying to figure out what she felt towards the Brummie gangster, with no luck so far. It seemed that the much she thought about it more confused she was getting.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe in that for a second. I know my brother and the way he looks at you has nothing to do with curiosity about your relationship with Solomons.” Daphne had no answer to that so she took a sip of her tea trying to ignore Ada’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Just be careful, okay.”

“Ada, even if he is interested in me it doesn’t mean that anything will happen. Even if I was interested in him too.” Daphne regretted her words the moment they left her mouth.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Interested in him?” There was a long silence where the two of them just stared at each other. “Just have in mind that Tommy usually gets what he wants and this not necessarily means that it will be what you want too.”

“Ada…”

“I really like you, Daph. And I know that deep down my brother is a good man. He’s just… Not the same since he came back from the war and I would hate to see him hurt you.” Neither of them had the time to address the subject further since Karl entered the room in a rush going straight to Daphne’s lap. As they both giggled at something that the little boy had done, the topic dissipated in the air. The unfinished conversation had to wait for another time.

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When they entered the pub everyone stood up, clapping their hands as they passed. Daphne just looked at Alfie and he only shrugged, a hand on her back to guide her through the crowd. Some of the people greeted her on their way to the mezzanine just beside the stage.

“I’ll bloody kill you, Solomons.” She said to him through clenched teeth and he laughed at her, whispering into her ear.

“No, you won’t love.” Despite being pissed off at him for ignoring her wishes of not doing anything at her birthday, Daphne couldn’t help but feel touched by his gesture.

“You tricked me into this.” He made her stop at the base of the stairs that lead to the mezzanine beside the stage, turning her to face him and resting his hands on her arms.

“I knew that it was the only way for you to come, don’t blame me for wanting to see you happy.” The young woman just nodded, ignoring all the eyes on them, before she let him lead her upstairs. She recognized almost all of the faces that turned to look at them when they arrived on the mezzanine – Ollie and his wife, Jane and Charles, William, Harriet, some of their work associates, Ada and Karl, but her eyes were instantly draw to a pair of blue irises fixed on her. His stare was so intense that she felt like getting lost in them, but the connection was broken when Karl escaped Ada’s arms and run right to her screaming “Dee Dee”, making everyone smile. She caught him by reflex while he hugged her.

“Mommy said that this was for you. She said it is your birrr…” He gave her a package that Daphne knew contained a book all the while struggling to say the word birthday. She smiled and kissed him on the check.

“Birthday, sweet pea.” Alfie chuckled behind them while Ada walked to them.

“That it.”

“What have I told you about running away from me, Karl?” It was always amazing to see Ada step into her motherly figure.

“But it was Dee Dee!” The boy protested snuggling into Daphne’s neck while the woman smiled.

“It doesn’t matter, you can’t do that, Karl.”

“It’s okay, Ada. He won’t do it again.” Karl straightened himself to look at Daphne. “Will he?”

“No, Dee Dee.” She smiled at him again and he gave her a kiss on the check. Ada could do nothing but shake her head.

“That’s a good boy.” Daphne placed him on the ground and Ada stepped closer to hug her.

“Happy Birthday, Daph. I know you hate it, but try and have some fun, will you?” They looked at each other for a moment.

“I won’t promise you anything.” The two smiled at each other and Ada hushed Karl back to where they were sitting so Daphne could talk to the other guests.

Jane almost knocked her out to the ground in a very good mimicking of what Karl had just done while everyone laughed. Charles was right behind her - the couple seemed to be stuck into a bubble of unbreakable happiness. William was trying – and failing miserably – to hide a smile right behind them.

“Trying to maintain your reputation of ‘The grumpy Weston’, I see.”

“Somebody has too.” He smiled, before hugging her. “Happy Birthday, Daph.”

“Okay, can you release her now? She’s not exclusively yours, you know?” They separated themselves from the embrace and laughed at Harriet standing right behind them, hands on her waist as if she was about to give them the scold of their lives.

“You and your wonderful timing, as always.” William huffed, rolling his eyes and receiving a slap on the arm from Daphne.

“Get away, lover boy.” The courtesan jested, smiling bright at Daphne before taking her in a hug like the others. “Are you okay?” The question was asked quietly, just for Daphne to hear. They kept each other close after they parted from the hug.

“I will be.” Harriet knew that it was a lie – Daphne was not okay, she would never be okay, not entirely and the sadness in her eyes proved that. She wanted to convince her friend that she could be happy, she should be happy, but sometimes the woman could be as headstrong as Alfie. Harriet just nodded and Daphne moved onto the next person that was waiting to greet her, with the Jew following her closely.

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The blood red of the dress contrasted with her skin and for a moment, Tommy let his eyes wander down her body. The sleeveless piece of clothing was sophisticatedly draped with intricate embroidery at the front, the velvet was loose on her curves, marked only at the waist but the back had a low-cut that showed a good amount of her skin, since her hair was loosely tied. The golden locket always around her neck.

Thomas felt pulled by her presence like a moth to a flame. He observed, curiously, as she crossed the room with Alfie right behind her, all eyes on her. Then it took him by surprise the way his nephew had run to her, hugging and kissing her as if she was family. He already knew that she and Ada were close but he was right in assuming – after Ada called her by a nickname – that their bond was stronger than he had predicted.

Polly noticed the way Tommy’s eyes were immediately attracted to the woman the moment she entered the pub. She took her time observing the girl too. It was undeniable that she was beautiful – all soft curves, long hair and a smile that could light up the whole room – but there was something more, something about the way she carried herself that made people captivated by her.

She watched Thomas observing the girl and immediately recognized the spark in his eyes – there was no denying that he was attracted to her, Polly wanted to know in what extent. The older woman saw the same spark in Daphne’s eyes when their eyes crossed just before Karl jumped into the woman’s arms. Her relationship with Ada was something that Polly would explore later, because there was no way that her niece would have left Karl around someone she didn’t trusted.

“That woman over there isn’t Harriet?” John’s voice broke the spell and Tommy looked at the woman his brother was talking about – it was the brunette, dressed in a tight navy blue skirt and white blouse mocking a the man who was hugging Daphne at the moment.

“Harriet? You must be crazy Jhonny, boy. This can’t be…” Arthur’s mouth fell open before he could finish the sentence.

“The owner of one of the most famous brothels in London?” John looked at the older Shelby, smugly, but Tommy’s attention was securely held by the interaction between Daphne and the man that had just hugged her. He seemed like one of those rich gentlemen that every mother wanted for their daughters at the same time that he held an air of rebellion. What made Thomas wary was the way his touch lingered on Daphne who seemed unbothered by it.

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Daphne graciously greeted everyone in the mezzanine – everyone except for the group of people watching her on the other side of the mezzanine. She looked at Alfie that just motioned for her to follow him.

“And I took the opportunity to invite the rest of the Shelby clam, so we could get acquaintance, aye. Now, you already know Tommy here, this is the rest of his family.”

“Arthur Shelby, at your service.” The eldest of the brothers kissed the back of Daphne’s hand, making her smile.

“Daphne Scott.”

“John Shelby, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He mimicked his older brother moves, a flirtatious smile on his face.

“Likewise. You aren’t supposed to have a wife, somewhere?” Arthur almost spat his drink trying to contain his laughter and John cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. Alfie chuckled behind her.

“She had to stay home with the kids.”

“Send her my regards, then.” He nodded at her, clearly not used being caught flirting like that. Daphne’s eyes then stopped in the older woman beside Thomas. She was staring at her quizzically but there was a hint of a smile on her features.

“Polly Gray.” She took a second too much to extend her hand for the younger woman to take, probably trying to make a point. Her grip was firm but so was Daphne’s – two could play at this game.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Ada talks greatly of you.” The girl knew how to play, Polly had to give her that. The way she handed John’s flirting showed that she knew how to handle herself and, most importantly, that she had done her fair share of research on them. By bringing Ada into the conversation right now, she was trying to gain the older woman’s good graces.

“Funny thing is that she never mentioned you.”

“I had to keep her away from the bunch of you or otherwise she would have left running.” Ada quipped in, having just arrived back at the mezzanine after going to the bathroom, before Daphne could say anything.

“Well, she is not running.” Her hazel eyes encountered Tommy’s when he spoke, keeping himself beside his aunt. Daphne held his gaze when she answered.

“It takes a lot more to make me run.”

“I hear that a happy birthday is in order.” He extended his hand to her, that she took without question, the touch lasting a minute longer than it should.

“Dee Dee, are you going to have a cake?” Daphne released Tommy’s hand to lower herself to Karl’s level before talking to the little boy.

“Maybe. Why? Will you want some?”

“’Cause when it’s your birrr…” She smiled again.

“Birthday.”

“Yeah, you have to blow the candles, right?”

“That’s right, lad. Do you want to go see if Daph’s cake is ready?” Daphne was amused at how shocked everyone looked when Alfie lowered himself at her side to talk with the little boy, who looked at him shyly. Karl looked at his mother who nodded at him, before looking at Daphne again.

“Will you help me blow out the candles?” He only nodded excitedly, before taking the hand that Alfie offered him and the two of them walked to the kitchen. When Daphne straightened herself, observing Alfie and Karl going down the stairs seemingly in a happy conversation, she directed herself to her friend. “That was a low blow, even for you.”

“What can I say, we play with the cards we have.”

55 notes · View notes

pcthstrayed · 5 years

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( ross butler, 19, he/him ) welcome to san francisco, ARLO PARK. rumor has it they are a WITCH/DARKLIGHTER, but only they could tell you the truth! when i close my eyes, i think of them and imagine BLOODSTAINS SCRUBBED OUT OF CREAM COLORED CARPETS, LYFT SCOOTERS, AND THE PRODIGAL SON.

are you as tired of me doing intros as i am? ‘cuz bruh. you’re getting the lazy sparknotes version bc i’m tired and gay.

arlo is penelope park’s cousin! sadly he ( thinks he is ) tragically heterosexual, but it would have been nice if the family radiated big gay energy. idk maybe it isn’t too late for him, we’ll see. he’s also a student at salvatore. i think he used to go to a public school back home, but i think Some Fucked Up Things Happened and his mom panicked and decided he needed to be around some more positive role models. hence why he was sent to salvatore.

speaking of Some Fucked Up Things... arlo’s dad is Not a good guy. i want to say he uses his magic for evil, and it’s gotten him ostracized from the coven. arlo has always been his dad’s closest ally, and sort of confidante, so his mom was shooketh when she found out that not only was bad dad bad, but that arlo had known all along and hadn’t said anything. he thought he could contain it, maybe talk him out of some of his terrible ideas, but his dad is Not OK and needs help. but everything fell apart, his parents divorced and his dad is basically m.i.a. now. rip.

( edit oct 2019 ) but here is the thing y’all, arlo’s dad is not his biological father. when his parents were trying to have kids they found out his dad couldn’t have kids. so they used a sperm donor and voila arlo was born! tbh arlo is pretty dumb so i don’t think he’s really even like become cognizant of the fact that he and his dad don’t look alike, and don’t have much in common. is this ignorance or naivety? idk, if your parents tell you something who are you to question it. anyways his mom never told him the truth even after everything with his dad bc she was afraid she would lose him. he was already closer with his father and she could feel him slipping down the wrong path. fear is a powerful motivator y’all.

personality wise he’s a ‘lil emo, a lil dramatic, always thinks people are talking shit about him. in his defense, a lot of times they are. his dad kind of fucked up their family’s reputation and since he’s from california ( i wanna say malibu ), he’s lived in this area for most of his life so it’s not really a fresh start. he’s also pissed he can’t go home and visit his dogs which is a fucking mood and a half.

since his family is a mess, his family’s money is... dwindling, i could see him doing magic for hire on the side. basically you want something done? something you’re not super proud of or above board? he’ll help you out my dudes, dudettes, and persons. he’s got you.

UPDATE JAN 26, 2020

arlo has tapped into that park family gay energy and acknowledged his chaotic bisexual energy. he has feelings for both amber and callum and is trying to come to terms with everything. yet — lmao, his sexuality is hardly the biggest situation at the current moment in time.

after callum murdered maya marceli in cold blood, arlo helped him bury the body. he didn’t hesitate, simply did what needed to be done. it wasn’t the first time he helped someone dispose of a body and the only reason he felt bad about it was because it was maya. he knew her, he liked her, but he’d have done anything to protect callum.

his best friend, bradley duke ( @teenagewste ) recently got involved with finn mikaelson. when the vampire was whammied by the horseman famine, he came up with a contingency plan to ensure he would never end up daggered. a spell was put in place and as soon as he was daggered, he body-jumped straight into arlo and left town while the barrier was down. bye bye body.

in order to make sure his friend doesn’t spend his prime years in a coffin, bradley spelled arlo into the body of morgan cummings — a triggered, very angry werewolf, who isn’t pleased about the situation. until they can track down finn with a locator spell, this is really the best of the bad options.

remember how i said arlo doesn’t know his bio dad ? turns out, his bio dad is jack of darklighter fame. so not only is he a witch but he’s a darklighter. somewhere in tahiti, finn mikaelson is having a fuckin’ field day. arlo doesn’t know any of this yet tho sooooo lmao we’re in for a STORM.

UPDATE FEB 22, 2020

so the angry werewolf kept trying to kill them both, so bradley bradley started looking for a new body to throw his friend into. he found a dumb, tall, white dude, who was seemingly human and normal and said yes, this is the right one. so arlo jumped into aiden kincaid’s body and eh voila.

arlo reluctantly agrees, mostly bc he’s afraid of morgan, and he jumps in. except, yeah, this body’s in transition. he has a choice to make; feed, or die. except he doesn’t because oops, yeah, he fed. now he’s a vampire soooo this should be fun !!

UPDATE APRIL 8, 2020

after removing famine’s ring from daniel warren / levi stone’s finger, it was given to finn mikaelson ( in the body of arlo park ) for safekeeping. while the horseman might be out of commission for now, he was very cognizant of the fact that it would likely only be temporary.

self preservation in mind, finn did the only thing that made sense. he found a body that no one would assume him to ever take — her name was fiona michaels. the irony wasn’t lost on him and he thought it was a very tongue-in-cheek way of hiding in plain sight. ( no one would expect a mikaelson to be that obtuse. ) he put arlo’s body on ice and delivered it back to him with a intricately scrawled thank you note with, of course, no mention of the danger he would potentially be in if daniel / levi / famine ever decided to retaliate. oops.

arlo got his body back, moved back home with his mother, and had his boyfriend move in too. they’ve never had the ‘what are we’ talk, but they can barely spend a few hours apart so it feels kind of inevitable. he’s still in the closet with his mother though because if she knew the truth, they certainly wouldn’t be allowed to share his room anymore. this is a lie he doesn’t mind keeping. besides, they owe him.

his parents are trying to marry him off to victoria villalobos. her father made an arrangement with his father. as far as his mother knows, spades is a respectable businessman and it’s a good family. she thinks this is good for him, that he could be happy. ( she, after all, married for love and all it brought her was pain. ) he tried to say no, tried to stand up to his father for once in his life, but he made it clear there was no choice. if arlo messes this up, it’s his mother’s blood on his hands. so he’s going to marry victoria because he has no other choice. to protect his family, he’d do anything. the worst part is that as much as he hates his father, he still loves him. no matter what he does, what lines he crosses, his devotion is almost pathological. there is a part of him too that wonders if he’s destined to become his father even though he’s done everything in his power to resist it. he killed a version of himself from some other timeline, not to mention he helped bury an innocent girl, so if there’s a slippery slope he feels like he’s skidding dangerously close to it.

he is on the verge of discovering his darklighter powers so stay tuned for that.

CONNECTIONS

- people that finn mikaelson might have crossed or pissed off when he was in his body. - someone finn might have helped when he was riding arlo’s body. (taken by henrik) - he’s learning how to orb so winding up in different places might be kind of funny. bonus points if it’s at awkward or inopportune times. - someone who knows about dark lighters / what this orbing means so that he can sort of understand wtf is happening and how it’s possible. (taken by parker) - he walks dogs so maybe he made a friend while out walking them?????

#apx:intro #tw: murder #tw: violence

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glorybcrn · 5 years

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hihi everybody !! i’m kelly ( eighteen , she/her , mst ) and uh h ... i haven’t been in the roleplaying game for a hot minute but i’m really excited to be here n get back into it ! this is my garbage son gabriel who is technically an old muse ?? ngl i’ve dragged this poor binch to hell n back so if this intro kinda funky ... that why ....... also i may or may not be running on 3 hrs of sleep jfifjnck

◟ * ◊ ─ jason bateman + cismale + he/him » * believe it or not gabriel dombrova is working for the lothario family. they are forty seven years of age and are known to usually spend their time around city hall. the mayor, who has been a part of the alliance for sixteen years, has been living in victoria for forty seven years. the people closest to them describe the bisexual + capricorn to be driven and astute as well as reserved and unforgiving »

background

— born and raised in victoria, despite not being a founding family, gabriel’s family still had relatively deep roots within the city; it was said that his great grandfather had moved here from massachusetts looking for the american dream. the patriarchal dombrova came from humble beginnings, building the family business ( a local inn ) from the ground up and over the decades it only got bigger and bigger until it had turned into the respectable hotel that it is known as today and now has multiple locations across the state of florida. naturally, his father inherited this business and his mother, on the other hand, is your typical southern belle, moved here from a small town in texas. she was a corporate lawyer ( it’s how she met gabriel’s father ) but since becoming a mother she really has had no interests in any other occupation other than trophy wife and socialite.

— to say that gabriel’s parents were old school would be putting it lightly. basically, both of his parents were deeply religious republicans and were very aware of their image as a family. they were harsh parents, extremely controlling when it came to their children’s lives but at the same time were also really emotionally absent. to this day they still believe that it was all in the name of tough love but obviously it was just emotional abuse. his father was especially hard on gabriel, he was a strong believer in physical discipline and thought gabriel to be too “soft”. he was always berating him, punishing him for petty offences, and pretty much just fostering your typical environment of toxic masculinity. though he never laid a hand on gabriel’s sister as she was what he called, “a lady” and his “pride and joy.”

— but gabriel was a good kid, he was obedient aside from stupid mistakes that kids are bound to make. he was your typical golden boy, a jack of all trades of sorts. not exceptionally good at one thing, but averagely good at a multitude of things. he was a quick learner and dedicated, anything he took a crack at, he eventually excelled in. throughout high school, he mostly kept to himself, choosing to focus on his education and after graduating valedictorian, he went to harvard where he earned his business degree. the plan was to come back to victoria, work for his father, and make his way up until he was ready to inherit the business himself.

— but while away at university, he met abigail. it was your typical whirlwind of a first love where it felt like it was just the two of you against the world. with her, gabriel experienced a sense of normalcy and sincere, unconditional love. for someone who severely lacked both up until then, maybe it wasn’t so crazy that the two decided to marry as soon as they graduated. together, they moved back to victoria to start their lives. to an outsider, gabriel’s life had seemingly always been perfect, envy-worthy. with a renowned and respected family, a successful business, the perfect wife, and now, a baby on the way too, it’s no wonder he’d been chosen by the lothario’s to be their candidate as mayor.

— his connection with the alliance started out small; the hotel business had been in a rough spot for a couple of years and out of nowhere, they seemed to have just come in at the right time, saving the day. he could be on their payroll all for the price of a few, teensy favours. favours such as his hotel being used as refuge for some of their men, a place of business when needed, and gabriel refusing to be a failure, especially in his father’s eyes, easily succumbed to their offer.

— of course, gabriel’s family has no idea about the real root of his sudden interest in politics, much less how the family business has managed to be so successful still despite his now even busier schedule. and as a result, his relationship with his wife and children have deteriorated over the years. it began as a defense mechanism, intentionally distancing himself from his loved ones as a way to protect them. and while his children maybe the one last soft spot gabriel has left, his sudden absence as a father has definitely put a strain on his relationship with them. however his relationship with his wife seemed to suffer even more, things between the two of them are definitely not how they once used to be. they’re cold to one another and see each other more so as strangers rather than husband and wife. unfortunately, a divorce doesn’t exactly fit into the white picket-fence image gabriel had so carefully curated over the years.

personality

— after decades of playing different facades, gabriel’s definitely lost a sense of his true self, or maybe it’s just fully gone. he used to be this really compassionate and benevolent person who always prioritized family over anything. it’s why ( at least this is what he tells himself ) he initially risked getting into business with the alliance in the first place, but now, he really only pretends to be those things to get the people to like him. he can be incredibly charming when he wants to be but it’s all just so .. hollow ? if that makes sense. like, nowadays there’s rarely an ounce of honesty or sincerity in him. he’s just so consumed with being a part of the alliance, it’s all he really knows at this point.

— extremely driven and cunning, if there’s something gabriel wants, he’ll get it. even as a child, he was an over achiever and so he’s known to always come through when it’s requested of him. he’s not exactly evil .. ? but he is loyal to the lotharios. i think there’s a small part of him that hates them, hates himself, and hates what he’s doing but idk he kinda just tells that it to shut up lmao. having had to learn it as a child, he’s very good at compartmentalizing which is probably why he can play all these different roles so well without going insane dnkjds

— really reserved, tries ( and succeeds ) to put out this strait-laced and conservative image. has the ability to remain calm in any sort of situation and twist things to his advantage. like honestly ?? gabriel is probably a pr manager’s wet dream .. he just comes across as this very charming and kind man, he’s the type of politician that’ll say hi to your baby and sign its head idk

but ugh idk it’s hard to explain gabriel’s personality since he’s such an emotional mess, i would just end up rambling about the same thing over and over again if i tried to keep going so i’m gonna .. stop right now.

connections

— personal assistant ?? someone incredibly organized and competent. this plot can range from really basic like .. yeah book my doctor’s appointment thnx to someone he’s actually pretty close to ? maybe he doesn’t even realize it, idk. like we can literally do wtvr w this, so !

— other members of the alliance, could be just someone he’s acquainted with or knows well and works pretty close with.

— if you have any muses involved with politics or managing ? his campaign manager or just anyone who worked on his campaign. like w the personal assistant we can .. go basic or brazy w this.

— love interests ? doesn’t have to be ~romantic~ per se .. but idk like affairs ig ?? cause .. gabe’s not perfect, rip. but he is careful so it wldn’t be like .. smth messy or if it was he’d prob make certain measurements after. idk what that means exactly dnjsnsdjk just tryna not get caught uk … or even something as small as flirtationships !

ok these all suck bc gabe is….. emotionally dead inside cnjdsnksnjd but ! obv tht can change per circumstance n whatever so pls .. feel free to mssg me whenever if u have any ideas !!

#victoireintro #im.... so dead but imma go get smth to eat rl quick #if u wanna plot w this ugly just like this n ill mssg u as soon as i can !!#or feel free to mssg me if u have any ideas :^))#i will warn u that i am... very slow so i apologize in advance ..#abuse tw #/ ooc tag tba .

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samuelfields · 3 years

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Scared of money? (Why & how to overcome your fear of money)

Do you have a fear of money? The more I see people talk about money, the more I see how SCARED we are of it.

How we let others poison our views of money.

And how easily we use negative words to describe it.

Here’s an email I got from someone who read my book, I Will Teach You To Be Rich. What do you notice?

“Frick it, I guess I’ll write the email…

Money stresses me out. My parents didn’t teach me anything about it and I’m very dependent right now. I did a year of nonprofit and made about 10k after taxes and it was miserable, so I figured if I can pull that off for one year then I can make it work. And I did! But I don’t know if I’ll hit it this year (it’s a bit depressing and a big source of anxiety). I think time is the name of the game though, the career is moving forward, hopefully, game sales will kick in passive income.

For the “rich life” I’m a simple person. I want enough money to be able to travel. I want to own a dog. I want a kitchen with an island. I want to have a nice desktop and a nice coffee table. My partner doesn’t want to own a house but I kind of do. Since I don’t have a full-time job outside of my freelancing which is currently in a drought period, I don’t have really ANY money, averaging about $250 a week.”

My response:

“Good stuff. Great to meet you

Now I want you to look at your email and count the number of times you use negative words to describe your life/money. How many do you count?”

His response (notice the skepticism):

“Ha, I can’t tell if this was an automated message or not but you got me there!

Depending on your definition, about 6-10.”

6-10 IN A SHORT-ASS EMAIL. (Well, compared to the kinds I write…) Finally, my response:

It’s not automated.

Good!

Now, can you rewrite that entire email to be POSITIVE instead of negative? Send it over my way.

This guy didn’t even notice his reflexive negativity with money. It’s become like a dull toothache, something he gets used to. And since negativity is his worldview — the “lens” through which he views everything — I guarantee it’s an invisible “drag” on his entire life.

I asked him to rewrite his email to be POSITIVE instead of negative because sometimes, it takes someone pointing out your pattern to shake you out of it.

When I talk to people about money, here are the most common words they use to describe it:

“Anxious”

“Stressed”

“Is it too late”

(What words come to mind for you?)

But it’s even more revealing when you listen to the ways they talk about money.

What they say: “What’s my Rich Life? Well, I just want to go on vacation with my kids a couple times a year, nothing fancy…”

What they really mean: Notice those last two words — “nothing fancy.” When people talk about their Rich Lives, they almost always minimize their own dreams. When you’ve spent your entire life worrying about what can go wrong with money, it’s almost impossible to dream.

What they say: “How do I KNOW your programs will work?” OR “Will this book work for me if I live in Bolivia and I have a lazy left eye and I only eat mussels on Mondays?”

What they really mean: “I have a finite amount of money. If I spend it here, I need to know it will absolutely work, otherwise, I will have wasted my money…and there’s no way for me to ever earn more”

Are you about to say what I think you’re about to say?

What they say: “Even if I made $250,000/year, I wouldn’t eat out at a nice restaurant like that. What a waste!”

What they really mean: “I have never eaten at a place like that and I don’t want to be the kind of person who “has” to go there to enjoy food. I’m simple.” (One level deeper: “I’m nervous that if I ate there, I might actually like it. I don’t trust myself to avoid going there every single week and spending all of my money”)

What they say: “I shouldn’t get a credit card.”

What they actually mean: “I don’t trust myself to control my spending, therefore I need to restrict myself”

What they say: “I went to [ANY FOREIGN COUNTRY] and they tried to rip me off because I was an American”

What they really mean: “Well, yeah, I could have afforded an extra $5 for those postcards…but I HATE BEING RIPPED OFF. If someone else is winning and I am losing, I HATE IT”

So many of us make day-to-day money decisions, never understanding the “invisible scripts” that actually guide these decisions. And in America, money is driven by FEAR.

FEAR that we’ll never have enough.

FEAR that we can’t make more of it.

And FEAR that someone will judge us for our spending — or even what we want to spend on.

I hate this. That’s why I show you how to identify your Money Dials, the things you LOVE spending on, then I show you how to spend MORE on it.

I also show you how to get psychologically comfortable with the idea of changing your identity. People say “Money changes people,” in disgust, as if it’s a bad thing. Money should change you! It should let you dream bigger, it should let you live an easier or more adventurous life, and it should let you bring others with you (learn about the psychology of the wealthy).

But you can’t do that if you’re stuck thinking about money as a source of anxiety and fear.

An interviewer recently asked me what I would change from my 20s. I said, “I would have more FUN. I was too rigid. But the times where I had the most fun and I was the most successful was I just loosened up and tried a bunch of new things”

With money, try these different approaches.

Know that you can trust yourself

Know that you can eat at a really nice restaurant once for the experience — and truly enjoy it — but trust that I’m not going to trip and fall and end up going there every single week. You can also use credit cards without overspending (follow the systems in my book). You can pay off your debt and stay out of debt. You can become Rich and do good. Trust yourself.

Know that you can create more money

You can negotiate your salary — or find an entirely new job. You can start a business, even if you don’t have an idea. You can build your network to sidestep people with 10 years’ more experience than you — and get perks you’ve never dreamed of. All of those things can dramatically increase your income. Above all, your money is not a fixed pie that you have to exhaustively guard and protect. You can also expand the size of your pie.

Stop being afraid of waste

In puritanical America, one of the biggest no-nos is WASTE. Oh no! Ramit, if I start spending more on the things I love, I might “waste” some of my money!

How do I “KNOW” that your book will solve my exact, highly specific problem that I worry about every fucking day of my life? If it doesn’t, I’ve wasted $10!!!! Scammer!!!

Oh no! Ramit, what if I hire someone and they don’t handle my SEO, my WordPress uploads, design all my graphics, triple my conversion rates, write my entire email funnel, and create a new webinar system? I might have WaSTed the $13/hour I tried to pay them!!

Oh no, there’s so much government waste! We should ONLY focus on cutting government waste. Especially that one thing I really hate. What? It only represents 0.03% of total spend? No, that can’t be right. Anyway, we need to handle WASTE. Also, don’t talk about raising my historically low taxes, you socialist.

If you spend your entire life worrying about waste, you miss a simple fact of life: In any system of sufficient complexity, there will always be waste. Yes, you should take measures to control it, but you should also accept that there will be a certain amount of waste — and move on!

I know that I’m going to buy courses and attend conferences that won’t be perfect for me. I know I’m going to eat at a restaurant that’s unmemorable. I know I’m going to make bad hires.

SO WHAT?

I’d rather try new experiences and learn with each one…than to sit back and let the bogeyman of “waste” scare me from doing anything at all.

So much of personal finance advice take your latent fears and heightens them.

NO! Don’t use a credit card, you might overspend a little!

NO! Don’t eat out at that restaurant, what a waste!

NO! Don’t try to negotiate your salary, you should just be happy you have a job!

If you spent the last ten years worrying about your waste and all the bad things you might do, you’ve accepted the message that you should be SCARED. That you’re an organism that simply reacts to whatever’s around you — that you have no agency or control.

Meanwhile, the people who have gone on offense have taken control of their own finances, their own psychology, started to earn more, and happily spend on the things they love. No anxiety. Just confidence and the systems to back it up.

You listen to these fears and end up frightened and anxious, sitting around worrying about all the things that can go wrong with money.

Or you can go on offense. You can take control of your money.

You can build a plan to spend extravagantly on the things you love.

You can EMBRACE making mistakes, knowing you’ll waste a little money, but it’s fine, because over the long term, those mistakes are minor, and you can create more wealth for yourselves.

You choose.

In my book, I wrote this:

Play offense, not defense. Too many of us play defense with our finances. We wait until the end of the month, then look at our spending and shrug: “I guess I spent that much.” We accept onerous fees. We don’t question complicated advice because it’s given to us in a language we don’t understand. In this book, I’ll teach you to go on offense with your credit cards, your banks, your investments, and even your own money psychology. My goal is for you to craft your own Rich Life by the end of Chapter 9. Get aggressive! No one’s going to do it for you.

My dream is for you to remove the shackles of negativity around money. To decide what you LOVE spending on, and spend more on it, so money goes from a source of anxiety and doubts to a source of joy and possibility and purpose.

Get my book here

3 things we noticed from people who don’t worry about money

Over the past month, we’ve been digging into the tactics and mindsets of the wealthy to find out what they do once they’ve “checked all the boxes” and mastered the basics of personal finance.

How do they get to that enviable position where they never have to worry about money again? What do these carefree people know that we don’t?

They do three things above all:

1. They are prepared for everything

Earlier this year, the New Yorker ran a fascinating article titled “Doomsday Prep for the Super-Rich”. In the piece they described how some of the smartest, most successful people from Silicon Valley and Wall Street are preparing for the apocalypse (yes, you read that correctly). They are buying remote property, building self-sustaining bunkers, and sometimes even stockpiling ammunition to prepare for the eventual breakdown of civilization.

When asked the simple question of “Why?” here’s what Yishan Wong, the former CEO of Reddit, told the New Yorker:

Most people just assume improbable events don’t happen, but technical people tend to view risk very mathematically … The tech preppers do not necessarily think a collapse is likely. They consider it a remote event, but one with a very severe downside, so, given how much money they have, spending a fraction of their net worth to hedge against this … is a logical thing to do.

Maybe you’re not ready to drop a few million on a bunker in rural Kansas, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be prepared for the future.

In speaking to our students who worry about money, I’ve noticed that a lot of people are afraid of unpredictable things that might happen in their future. Some people refer to these as “the things you don’t know that you don’t know” or “unknown unknowns.” Here’s how one student described his fear:

What worries me isn’t job loss. What worries me is the million other things that could pop up. What’s hiding around the corner that I don’t know about?

This type of fear can be incredibly powerful, because your imagination runs wild with worst-case scenarios. It’s like when you are walking down the stairs into a pitch black basement of a rickety old house. It’s terrifying. Anything could be lurking in those shadows.

But there’s a simple solution: Turn on a light.

You can do the same thing with your finances. Instead of being afraid of “unknown unknowns,” you can shine a light on your financial future by learning from people ten years older than you who can tell you exactly what to expect.

2. They protect the money they already have

Ever see a news story about a rock star or athlete going bankrupt and wonder, “How is it even possible to lose that much money?” ESPN’s documentary Broke investigated the phenomenon of very rich athletes going completely broke. The statistics are shocking:

According to a 2009 Sports Illustrated article, 60 percent of former NBA players are broke within five years of retirement. By the time they have been retired for two years, 78% of former NFL players have gone bankrupt or are under financial stress.

One of the primary causes of financial problems for these athletes was not extravagant spending. It was mostly due to bad investments, ranging from real estate to restaurants to car washes.

It’s an interesting cautionary tale because one of the most common questions I get from students who have “mastered the basics” of personal finance is “How do I make my investments grow faster?”

As your wealth grows, you’ll find the investing opportunities start to grow as well. Instead of just a “boring” target date fund, now you can buy real estate, invest in start-ups, and take sizable positions in individual stocks. At a certain level, the world of hedge funds and private equity start to open up as well. It’s tempting to throw your money at these exciting opportunities and promises of outsized returns and it’s easy to develop an obsession with growth and moving faster.

I find this fascinating, because the research I’ve done revealed that the most successful wealthy people have the opposite approach. Instead of asking “what can I gain?” their #1 question is “how can I avoid losing money?”

For example, Warren Buffett has two rules of investing:

Rule 1: Never lose money.

Rule 2: Never forget rule 1.

So what does this mean for you?

This is more a matter of mastering your own psychology than any new tactic or fancy asset allocation. There’s a reason at IWT we consistently recommend boring, simple investments like lazy portfolios and target date funds.

But we’ve also spent enough time studying the psychology of personal finance to know that being a 100% disciplined monk with your investments is near impossible. No matter how much you read about the merits of basic index investing and why stock picking never works, there’s still a little voice in your head saying, “Yeah, but what if I find the next Amazon stock? I’d be a millionaire in five years!”

Here’s what we recommend: instead of suppressing that voice in your head, embrace it. Take 5% of your portfolio and put it aside for whatever crazy idea you have for making your money grow faster. Invest in Bitcoin. Buy $5,000 in Tesla stock. Invest in your cousin’s car wash if you want.

Do whatever you want, because while you might lose that 5%, you can sleep well at night knowing 95% of your money is still safe and protected.

3. They don’t do it alone

There’s a great scene in Entourage where the agent Ari Gold is introducing the management team of actress and singer Mandy Moore.

(Heads up: You may want to put in headphones for that link, there’s some NSFW language in that clip.)

It’s kind of eye-opening as he goes down the line introducing this super-team of six people who are required to manage the career of just one person: manager, music agent, publicist, attorney, music manager, theatrical agent, etc.

It’s also possible to develop the same type of super-team to manage your finances and literally outsource your worry to someone else. Attorneys, accountants, life insurance specialists, financial planners, investment advisers, and even a psychologist or psychiatrist could all be part of your financial super-team.

You might be thinking, “Wait, what? I thought Ramit hated financial advisors. Doesn’t he spend an entire chapter in his book telling me NOT to hire a financial advisor. So what’s going on here?”

I asked Ramit about this incongruence, and he pointed out a really interesting and counterintuitive insight: Once you reach a certain point, the basic personal finance rules no longer apply.

Normal people with ordinary financial needs don’t require an advisor. That’s why we tell most people it’s not worth their time. But once you’ve conquered the basics, then the basic rules no longer apply.

Here are a few scenarios where it DOES make sense to pay an advisor:

When you have a lot of investable assets (~$1MM+) and have much more to lose if you make a mistake.

If you have complex situations (imagine having three kids, planning for college, and buying a house at the exact same time).

When you just want a second set of eyes to make sure you have everything done right and aren’t missing anything.

When you’re short on time and want to pay for convenience (e.g., you can hire a bookkeeper who you forward bills to and who pays them for you).

When you run your own business, an accountant is a no-brainer who can “cover your ass” and also look out for things you don’t know about.

Is hiring an advisor expensive? Yes, of course. But ask yourself, how much is constantly worrying about your finances costing you?

If you’re looking at getting help with your finances from a professional, then we recommend beginning your search at the National Association of Personal Finance Advisors (www.napfa.org). These advisors are fee-based (they usually have an hourly rate), not commission-based, meaning that they want to help you, not profit off their recommendations.

What else can you do to stop worrying about money?

If you��re still not sure you’ve done everything right with your finances, you can implement the 10 year saving strategy.

The 10 Year Strategy involves asking people ten years older than you what they wish they’d saved for, and starting to save for that.

Sounds obvious, but it requires admitting that despite your superior financial abilities, you’re still going to have the same expenses as everyone else. Young people love to pretend we’re going to be millionaires, work from the beach, and somehow magically make money and have low expenses all our life.

Here is what will happen to you as you get older:

Yes, you WILL have a nice and very expensive wedding (even if you’re a hypocrite and think you’ll have a “small, beautiful” wedding)

Yes, you WILL have kids and want to buy them nice stuff

Yes, you will need things like family health insurance and life insurance and homeowners’ insurance and family vacations and other things that you can’t predict right now because you’re not in that life situation

So reach out to someone older than you and ask them what they wish they’d saved for. I guarantee their answers will be surprising.

What are you going to do today?

If you’re not earning more than you spend, automating your money, and maxing out your accounts, that can be your first goal. This is the majority of iwillteachyoutoberich readers.

If you’ve done all that and are looking for the next step, try implementing the 10-Year Savings Strategy.

One more thing: You can’t just scoff at this for being too easy and do nothing. You have to consciously choose:

I’m going to do this within the week

I’m not going to do this because I’m going to do another strategy within the week

I’m not at this stage yet…I’m going to pick up your book (or another book, or just do it) and get there

Note: There is no #4 (“I’m not going to do this at all…I’m just going to do nothing”) because that is a cop-out. Get it done.

Do you know your earning potential?

Take my earning potential quiz and get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start making extra money — in as little as an hour.

Start The Quiz

Scared of money? (Why & how to overcome your fear of money) is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Finance https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/scared-of-money-why-how-to-overcome-your-fear-today/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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