#walked a wooden boy into a testing center and came out with no answers

[glasswaters]

i want to be a real boy, said the puppet to the fairy. i am too loud and too wooden. i cannot understand the softness of their skin.

when i lie, my nose grows. when i am lied to, nothing happens to them at all. they smile. their eyes shine, wet with salt-water. my wrists are bound with string, my ankles are threaded with wire.

when i open my mouth, out comes a scream, as a felled tree, bleeding sap. i've shattered the windows and bent the door.

i've broken my father's heart.

have i not given all i had within me to give? did i not shave myself hollow to offer a handful of wood chips and sawdust to anyone who would smile at me? my walls are thin, by now, and my voice is a haunting within my own head. when the sun is strong enough, it shines right through me.

as though i was made of glass, like the fine porcelain dolls in their fine silk dresses and their fine leather shoes. those chubby-red cheeks, polished to the noblest of shines.

smooth as aged pebbles, they do not hurt the palms that hold them unless dropped.

i have taken sandpaper to the high points of me. the rough, first, no matter how it hurt to hold it. no matter the mess. my father taught me well. i will not splinter if you touch me.

i will not lie. i will dance the dance, i will drink the drink, i will breathe only when i am told. i will sink this pining body into the sea. for my father, i will rot.

only make me soft. give me lungs and a beating, bleeding heart.

make me right, said the puppet to the fairy, make me whole.

silly little heartwood, said the fairy to the puppet, you are real. how else would you cry? there is nothing wrong with you.

#poetry #writerblr #writers of tumblr #poets of tumblr #my work #spilled ink #spilled words #pinocchio 🤝 autism #actually autistic #in which calling for help is not about the wood or the skin #nor is it understood #walked a wooden boy into a testing center and came out with no answers #burst a puppet into sodden tears

[meadowofbluebells]

Find the Word Tag

Thank you for the tag, @enne-uni. :)

So, I have a lot of short story WiPs that I'm currently working on, so there were a lot of instances of these words. Though, a few of these sound insane without their context. Oh well.

WIP 1: And So To Queens Can Fall

Solana spent a couple more minutes in the room, unwilling to leave them just yet. She made sure to analyze her little girls as much as possible. The way Winifred wrinkled her nose whenever Vera was too loud. How Vera never stopped smiling, even in her sleep; her little ray of sunshine.

The little girl slowly blinked into consciousness. Her green eyes hazily fell on her mother. “Is it morning already?”

WIP 2: Denial (Working Title)

“Do you think there is a way to get back? I mean, we’re still talking. Maybe there is a puzzle piece that we’re just missing.” Gideon’s hands were wrapped around his knees and he was staring down at Atticus’ white sneakers.

WIP 3: Beloved

They had been collecting herbs all day, and her feet felt swollen from walking so far outside the city. So, when she saw the pretty white flowers with pink centers she was excited. She had immediately picked one and brought it to her nose, only to realize it smelled like rotting flesh. 

“Boo!” Andy flinched at the loud noise right next to her ear.

WIP 4: Powers (Working Title)

Thus, Graham spent most of his early childhood going to specialist after specialist. His parents drove to appointments early in the morning or flew across the country for answers. Nothing ever came of it, though.

 As Graham slowly sat up, wincing at the pull on his bruised skin, he watched the pristine white pages of their test flutter to the ground like confetti at the end of a performance.

WIP 5: The Pirate Boy

Yet, as she walked around the house, everything else felt familiar. By the time she had circled back to the attic, she felt no closer to an answer. The only thing out of place was the wooden ladder painted white.

She looked around the tables again. Her eyes focused on each member individually. Lord Sock was blushing all the way to the roots of his balding white hair as he talked to Miss Rock. She, in turn, was smiling so widely that her crow’s feet looked like half-stars on each side of her head.

The next morning, she woke up to a child’s laugh. The sound was loud but melodic. However, to Carla, who got precious few hours of sleep, the sound was grating.

“They are rather loud, are they not?” She said to the boy.

However, the next morning, when she raced out of her bedroom in a bid to get to work as soon as possible, there was no attic. She had stopped in her tracks, one rm hanging out her blazer and the other brushing through her hair.

WIP 6: Signed, Death

The door creaked open as he flicked on the lights - stumbling into the orderly room with a jubilant stride. He threw on his jacket and stuffed his wallet into one of the front pockets. Then, with a satisfied nod, turned to leave. However, as he pivoted, a flash of white on his desk caught his attention. With a furrowed brow, David turned to examine the object - a pristine envelope with his name written in elegantly looping letters.

When David awoke, he was surrounded by white walls. For a moment he thought death had taken pity on him and heeded his cries. However, the overpowering scent of hand sanitizer quickly destroyed that hope. His hazy eyes slowly focused enough to see the face of a smiling doctor swimming in front of him. 

There was a fine mist in the air as David drove home. The white fog shied away from the street lamps and his headlights Still, he was practically squinting by the time he turned onto one of the less-used side streets. The sound of other motorists arriving home late drifted further and further away as he drove.

WIP 7: The Grim Reaper (Working Title)

 Her tirade was cut off by a cold sensation on her forearm. She turned around sharply to glare at Grim. “What?”

WIP 8: The Wedding (Working Title)

Zoe was dressed in an off-the-shoulder gown with an a-line skirt. The fabric was as white as snow.

“I think you should try something that is more of an off-white.” Melody said as she turned back toward Zoe, her eyelashes fluttering rapidly.

WIP 9: Up a Tree (Working Title)

Barnett snorted. “Like you did this morning?”

“You’ll thank me in the morning.”

This was fun. :)

I'll tag @fleurtygurl and @lassiesandiego. Of course, anyone else who wants to take part is welcome.

Your words are: -Sky -Dream -Melody -Twirl

#tag game #last line tag game

[havin-a-wee]

Doctor's Orders

pairing: gynecologist!harry x reader/doctor!harry x reader

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: smut, fingering

this is so long overdue i apologize but this is a request! i kinda love this piece so i hope you guys do too!

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

You sucked in a harsh breath as you heard your name being called from the front desk, the smiley old lady gesturing for you to follow her. You timidly walked behind her, your feet shuffling on the obnoxiously patterned carpet that lined the hallways.

You aren’t one to fear doctor’s appointments, in fact, you have never been apprehensive about going to one until right now. This appointment was something you’ve been avoiding for a while since you had moved to London, but there came a point where you couldn’t put it off for any longer. Back in the states, you were comfortable with your gynecologist, and you had no issue talking to her about problems you were having regarding your genitalia. But now that you were in a new city, you didn’t have the comfort that came with visiting a long-term doctor and faced new ones for the first time since you were a child. The rest of the doctor’s visits were pretty standard, but your private parts were something you struggled with understanding, Sure, you have seen porn and had sex, but it was never a fulfilling experience. In fact, you have never reached an orgasm. About a year ago you gave up on looking for men to help you and made it a mission to bring yourself to a climax. But alas, none of your efforts seemed to work. At this point, you were convinced that something was wrong with you, hence the gynecologist visit. Male gynecologist, that is.

Over the past month, you have spent a lot of time researching gynecologists in your area. The first one that came up was the one you are at now, but considering his gender you continued your hunt. But it kept leading you back to this one doctor, Dr. Styles, and that was why you are currently sitting in an exam room in his office.

You reassured yourself by looking up his name on your smartphone, scrolling through the 5-star reviews. The number of people who seemed to absolutely love this guy helped settle your nerves, so you read through them as you waited for a knock on the door.

That knock finally arrived a few minutes later, and you picked your head up and looked at the wooden door. “Come in!”

A head popped inside from behind the door as it was pushed open, and the doctor’s eyes found yours while he made his way into the small room. He’s tall, with a mop of chocolate brown curls on his head and bright green eyes accompanied by a friendly smile. He sat down, eyes never leaving yours until he placed his computer down and the screen lit up.

“‘Ello Darlin, m’Dr. Styles, but y’can call me Harry if you’d like.” He stuck out a hand, and your palm swiftly met his, the two of you looking at one another as you shook hands. His hands were enormous, and the rings placed on his fingers were cold to the touch. “Considering you’re a new patient, I took a peek at y’records and such, and I saw that y’ve always had a female gyno.”

You nodded your head slowly, opening your mouth to respond but getting cut off by Dr. Styles. “So I just wanted t’let y’know tha’ theres nothing t’be ashamed off, and I know what I’m doin’ so I promise you’re in expert hands.”

“Yeah, I was nervous, but I couldn’t ignore the amazing reviews people have given you, so I made an appointment.” You appreciated his reassurance a lot, and it really helped in the easing of your jitters. He turned back to his computer after nodding in response to you, clicking on a few keys before diverting his attention back to you.

“So what seems t’be the problem today Y/N?” An initial wave of shock hit you when he said your name, but it quickly dissolved when you remembered that he literally has access to all your medical information, so of course, he knows your name.

“This is a bit of an odd thing to come in for on my first appointment with you, but I think my vagina doesn’t work.” You let out a breathy chuckle at your own words. Dr. Styles seemed unphased by your forwardness, and you assumed he had heard a lot more abrasive things than that. “I’m a 22-year-old woman, but I’ve never had an orgasm. For the past year I’ve been focusing on doing it without a partner, but no matter how much time I spent or how many fancy toys I buy, I just end up feeling unsatisfied and disappointed.” He nodded along as you explained your issue, placing his chin in his hand while his elbow was placed on the desk.

“Have y’had any STD tests recently?”

“Yes, I had one last week, I’m clean and I’ve never had one in the past.”

“Is there any possibility tha’ you’re pregnant?”

“No, I haven’t slept with anyone in over a year.” You knew what questions he would ask, so to avoid wasting time you were giving him all the information he would need.

“When y’are sleeping with someone, do y’feel any sort of pleasure?”

“Yeah, but it’s just never enough, I guess.” His lips curled into an expression of concentration, and he pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. The room was silent for all of around 30 seconds, but soon enough Dr. Styles spoke up.

“Based on yeh’ history and what y’telling me, it seems that y’just haven’t found the right bloke.” Your eyebrows lifted in surprise at his simple answer. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? “M’guessing y’can’t get y’self off cause’ y’tense and not fully relaxed. And the guys y’ve been with ave’all been doin’ a rubbish job.” He chuckled along with you, and you couldn’t help but agree with him. There was no one you could think of that had actually made you feel good the entire time and had actually focused on your pleasure and theirs. Most of the hookups you took part in were with frat boys who would stick their dick into anything with a hole. “But just in case, lemme’ check y’out just to make sure.”

He stood up from his chair and you swung your legs up on the cot, laying down on it. While you had waited for the doctor, you changed into the gown you were provided with, so there was only a thin piece of fabric between you and the curly-headed man that had taken a seat at the end of the seat.

It was now that you were faced with a dilemma that your anxious brain hadn’t even thought of prior to the appointment.

Dr. Styles was attractive. Like, really, really attractive.

Dr. Styles was attractive. Like, really, really attractive. And probably because of the nature of your discussion (and the fact that your body is severely desperate for sexual release), your core had been heating up since he first stepped into the room. So now, he would lift the skirt of the gown and see a pool of velvety wetness coating the inside of your thighs.

The back of the seat was propped up, allowing you to see him. This was a good thing for him because he could talk to you while he does his job, but it means you will have to look at him after he sees the mess you’ve made.

“May I?” His fingers gripped onto the edges of the gown, and you swallowed hoarsely before nodding your approval. While you know that he probably has witnessed much more embarrassing situations than the one you were in right now, it didn’t make the predicament any better. As you suspected, he kept a straight face when he lifted the flimsy material from your legs. Without taking a second glance, he turned to a bottle on his desk and pumped a dollop of lube onto his glove-clad fingertips. He used his other gloved hand to spread the lubricant, only turning back to you when his two fingers were both well coated in the substance. “Y’alright?” Once again, you nodded at his question. “Tell me with words darlin’, wanna make sure y’comfortable.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What kind of exam are you doing exactly?” That question popped into your mind right before it rolled off your tongue because you noticed he had never specified exactly what he was looking for.

“M’just gonna use m’finger,” he held his lube-covered fingers, “and feel around, just t’make sure everythins’ fine.”

“Ok, sounds good.”

“M’gonna start now, s’gonna be cold at first.”

You hissed when his fingers met your sopping hole, and you had to resist the urge to kick your legs while he slowly pushed his fingers inside of you. The feeling was strange, but definitely not unwelcome. The contrast from his icy fingers to your warm center was sending a tingling sensation down your spine. You could feel his fingers push around inside of you, caressing your walls. And you know you shouldn’t. But his fingers were hitting all the right nerves, and you couldn’t help but find the experience immensely pleasurable.

Despite your best efforts, a small moan of satisfaction escaped your lips. Immediately, you went stiff, and you could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. You just moaned while your doctor had his fingers inside you. For a moment you thought he would ignore the sexual noise that you had just made. But he suddenly looked up at you, his eyes previously locked on his fingers.

“Well, if y’moanin’ just from that, y’more sexually deprived than I thought.” He chuckled, and you cracked a small smile, but that was before his words actually hit you.

Was he, hitting on you?

Maybe not flirting, but that definitely wasn’t something that doctors say to their patients very often. His smirk was also giving you the idea that he had certain intentions.

“Everything seem good down’ere, so I think tha’ problem is with the guys y’gettin with, not you. What type of people do y’usually sleep with.”

“When I was sexually active, it was usually frat boys, so I guess I should’ve known I wasn’t the problem.” You let out a small laugh, Dr. Styles seems to have found it much more amusing, as his chuckle came from deep within his chest. A small movement came with the laugh, which also reminded you that his fingers were still very much inside of you.

“It seems y’need someone who knows his way around,” he cleared his throat, and you smiled as you realized what he was hinting at. “and y’my last paitent of the day, so m’more than happy t’help y’out.” He looked down at his feet shyly, and you found it adorable how he was nervous about what he was proposing. But you were on the verge of tears from how hard it was to hold back your physical response to his touches. Your body relaxed when the words came out of his mouth, and you let out the whine that had been building up in your throat.

“Yes-Harry, god yes.” It was the first time you were using his first name, but the smirk on his face showed his approval.

He quickly removed his fingers from your heat, and you whined again, this time in frustration. Losing contact left you feeling cold, but that feeling only lasted a fleeting moment, as soon as he was pushing his fingers into you again, this time bare.

“Y’already so wet love, what got y’this worked up hmm?”

“Y-you, Harry, I want you.” You tripped over your words, but they came out clear enough for him to understand because he began moving his fingers at the encouragement. His fingers began to pump in and out of you, and you knew he must have been right about not being with the right guys before, because the simple movements left you as putty in his hands. You barely got any pleasure from fingering in your other sexual encounters, but you were already a moaning mess underneath the man. He lifted his other hand, which had also had the glove on it removed, and placed the pad of his finger on your puffy clit. You mewled loudly and his smirk widened.

“Any o’those boys ever make y’feel this good darlin’?” You shook your head furiously, and he smiled, rubbing circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves. You were already seeing stars, and you could feel an unfamiliar knot forming in your stomach. “Y’so pretty, did y’know tha’?”

You couldn’t muster up enough strength to respond to his second question, but the loud moan that you let out was enough of an answer for him. His movements sped up, fingers pumping in and out of you and his other thumb pressing circles on your button.

“Harry-”

“Think y’close darlin’? Ready t’come fo’ the first time?”

“Yes, yes..” Your voice trailed off when a guttural moan rumbled through your throat. Although you haven’t had one before, you were sure that he was about to bring you to an orgasm. There was a tight feeling in your stomach and you knew it was just about to burst.

“Fuck-”

The knot burst and your orgasm rolled through your body, reaching every nerve inside of you. The feeling was euphoric, and your senses were heightened as your body experienced this new feeling.

“Thas’ it, good girl,” he cooed, slowing his movements and removing his fingers from your now overly sensitive clit. He worked you through your orgasm until fully removing his fingers from you, and you let out a sigh as he did so. “Definitely not somethin’ wrong with ya’, I can tell y’that.”

He smiled up at you and you returned the gesture, your smile only faltering when he turned away to write something down. You took the opportunity to get up and change, quickly dressing while his back was turned.

He turned in his chair to face you once again, handing you a small piece of paper. You took it from between his fingers to see a phone number scribbled on it in black ink.

“Is Doctor Styles giving me his number?” You said it in a cheeky way, smirking back at him.

“Yes, and he’s telling you to text him when you get home. Doctor’s orders.”

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #blurb #one shot #request #harrys styles request #harry styles fic #one direction #smut #fluff

[sleeperswakewriting]

After Class

For @himebee-5's prompt!

Summary: Petra is Professor Ackerman's star student and yet, she keeps meeting him for office hours every Monday afternoon.

Rated: E

CWs: teacher/student relationship, age gap, praise kink

Word count: 3.2k

Surprise! I queued up another fic for smutty Saturday since I'll be out for most of the day--enjoy! 😉

She was distracting.

Levi prided himself in his stellar concentration, his perfunctory work, and despite his cold and callous demeanor, he was an excellent professor. Always receiving high remarks from his students and colleagues, and managing to churn out at least two research papers a year, there was little that compromised his neat routine.

He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he faced the chalkboard, clearing his throat. Levi Ackerman didn’t make mistakes, but after one look at her, his mind went elsewhere as he absently completed the calculus equation and one student shakily raised his hand and said, “E-excuse me sir, but I think you forgot to take the derivative in the fifth step.”

Taking a step back, realizing that his glasses slipped from its usual position since he took a double take at her, he merely nodded and erased the step in which he made the error and redid the equation. He thanked the student and a flurry of pencils hit paper as they recorded the problem, and Levi glanced at his watch, giving them a few minutes before he moved on.

It’s wasn’t just the plaid mini skirt and thigh high stockings that did it--he knew he was enough of a perverted old man that he at least acknowledged that turned him on, but the way she sat in the front row, prim and studious as she eyed him for the hour and a half lecture made him feel stupidly special. Most students’ eyes glazed over, and he didn’t give a shit if they were on their phones, it was their time and money after all, but the way her amber orbs never left him was almost damn unsettling if she didn’t have such a coquettish look.

Her short ginger hair was pulled back with a red head band today, and as he was giving back the first test of the semester, he paused at her seat and said, “Good work, Ms. Ral,” while sliding the test face down onto her desk. She beamed, looking at the paper, and her face fell at the grade. Levi frowned slightly, wondering what she could possibly be upset about since she received an 88, the third highest in the class. Calculus wasn’t an easy subject, and it was usually the class where students on the science and math track chose to drop out and choose a different major.

After passing out the tests, he returned to the desk at the front of the classroom to collect his things and head back to his office for his office hours for the day. As most of the students filtered out of the classroom, Petra sat stark still at her desk, eyes running over her exam, and eyebrows contorted in confusion.

“Is something wrong, Ms. Ral?” he asked, slinging his messenger bag over his grey dress shirt, adjusting his tie, and she looked up, eyes aglow. Levi pretended not to notice the way her tight long sleeved shirt hugged her curves, and the v-neck emphasized her breasts when she brought her arms together in anguish.

“I’m trying to figure out where I went wrong, Professor. I’m really disappointed in myself, I thought I aced this test.”

Levi cocked his head. “You should be proud of yourself, you have one of the highest marks in the class.”

Petra shook her head in disbelief. “Even so, I think I made far too many silly mistakes.” She sighed, shoulders slumping in clear disappointment. “I guess I’ll try harder next time. Sorry professor, you probably have to go--”

“My office hours are now,” he said, the words leaving his lips without even thinking. His glasses shone from the ceiling lights of the high lecture hall, and he swallowed. “We can go over the test if you’d like.”

And she smiled brilliantly at him again, collecting her things and swinging her fashionable book bag over her shoulder as she followed him to the math building. Levi kept at least three feet ahead of her, not wanting to give her the impression they had to make small talk since the math building was on the opposite side of the quad, and he breathed a sigh of relief when they entered his office. It was at the end of the hall of the third floor, a quiet place since it was around lunch time and most students were at the dining hall.

Levi closed the old wooden door and gestured for her to sit at the front of his desk while he deposited his bag and thumbed through the manila folder for the answer key. Petra set her things down and unfurled her own test, using his desk as she tapped her pencil at the corner of her lips.

“So which problems were giving you trouble?” He asked, loose leaf paper at the ready, and Petra motioned to problem number three.

“I get tripped up when there’s a double integral, I think.” She was already making the amendments in her head and she asked him for a piece of paper as well. Levi withdrew another from his desk cadenza and his breath hitched as their fingers touched. Stop acting like a teenage boy, he scolded himself, wondering when the last time he went on a date or had gotten laid because this was ridiculous. She was at least ten years his junior, his student no less, and she was just asking her math professor for help, even though she clearly didn’t need it.

She crossed her legs cutely, emphasizing her thighs between the space between her skirt and socks, and Levi averted his gaze as he forced himself to concentrate on her bright tone, going over her process as she circled and made the adjustments from her previous attempt.

“Yes, that’s correct. You want to integrate x and treat y as the constant. It’s like in the partial example, which you completed correctly in problem one.”

Petra smiled, nodding as understanding entered her field of vision and she completed the problem with ease. “Thank you Professor! Can you give me a harder problem just to make sure I understood the concept?”

And as Levi did his best to not pay attention to the way she said harder, he opened up the math textbook and selected an exercise, scratching it onto the paper between them and slid it towards her.

The mahogany desk was slightly too tall for Petra to comfortably lean against from the chair, so she sat up and leaned over to solve the problem, orange hair falling from her tucked ears. This time, Levi didn’t even bother looking away since Petra was fully invested in solving the equation, and he felt his pants tighten as he noted the white lace bra she had on underneath, and her round mounds spilling from her top.

“Is this right?” She asked, finally finishing, sitting back down in her seat and Levi coughed as he fought down the flush on his face.

He stared at the problem, willing himself to concentrate on the numbers in her neat handwriting, but he was finding it difficult to focus as he noticed her licking her lips after reapplying some chapstick. He took it line by line until he finally nodded and said, “Good work.”

Petra returned the paper to her folder and touched his hand gently from across the desk. “Thank you Professor Ackerman, it really means a lot to me that you went out of your way to help me. I guess the reviews were right after all.” His eyebrows rose since he didn’t usually make a habit to read his class reviews but relied on the report that the school gave him at the end of each term.

“Oh really? What do the reviews say?”

Petra giggled, and Levi felt his heart stop at the beautiful sound. “Well for one, they say you’re the sexiest teacher on campus, but more importantly, students who take your class are set up for success for linear algebra, which is my goal. I’m an astronomy major.”

He didn’t know why he found that to be a turn on since he worked at a university where there were literally hundreds of majors, but before he had a chance to think, Petra had collected her things and waved as she made for the brass knob of his office door.

“See you next week, Professor!”

And the door clicked shut. Levi’s head was spinning, and if he didn’t know any better, Petra was outright flirting with him, and he was having a difficult time processing that. He moved to lock the office door and he double checked to make sure that he didn’t have any upcoming meetings. Sinfully, he laid back in his chair and closed his eyes while he unbuckled his pants.

She’s your student, you filthy fuck. But her shiny lips, her sweet voice, and her intellect…

He stroked himself, thinking of her, and he came quickly, her name on his lips as he imagined himself taking her between her plaid skirt and thigh high socks.

---

Monday afternoons became a ritual for them, and while Levi attempted to muster up every ounce of professional courage, he found himself unable to say no to her. Every day, after class, she would sweetly ask if she could go over the day’s lecture, and he would say yes and they would wordlessly walk to his office and repeat the same routine.

It was always strictly professional, but he could have sworn that she was intentionally taking off her jacket or sweatshirt in front of him, sometimes leaving her in only a crop top. He decided then that she was purposely trying to kill him because the blood rushed faster to his groin than he could will himself to stop. He had to keep himself firmly behind his desk, not wanting to scare her from his raging hard-on as she pattered on about her misunderstandings for the day, and he would mutely nod, watching her the entire time.

She stopped the week during finals, only visiting him after his final lecture and he missed her presence during the two week absence. He eagerly awaited the day of the final exam, just to pathetically see her again, and there she was, front and center, pencil at the ready.

“This is my last test,” she whispered to him excitedly as he handed her the exam and he gave a thin smile and muttered a ‘good luck’ to her row, but looked at her the entire time.

She was the last to leave, and she heaved a sigh of relief as she handed him her packet, looking joyful.

“How did you find the test, Ms. Ral?” he asked, sparing her a last glance before she left his classroom for the final time. His heart ached at that, but he supposed it was for the best since dreams and visions of her had plagued him since the beginning of the semester.

“I think I aced it, thanks to my excellent teacher.” And she gave him a dazzling smile as she walked away and Levi trailed her form until she disappeared.

--

It was a routine message that Levi sent out to all of his students, that if they wanted to go over their final exam that they could set up office hours. He didn’t allow for debating for points--he had no time for that, and his grading procedure was precise and calculated, but he set up time slots for ease of the students.

So when he saw Petra Ral in his email, requesting for the last time slot before the last day of the grading period, he hurriedly clicked accept even though she received a perfect score on her test.

It was spring, and the promise of a new future hung in the air when Petra entered his office, wearing a similar ensemble to when she first came in, a red plaid skirt, thigh high stockings, and this time, a white knit t-shirt that unbuttoned just at her cleavage. She poked her head in, and he noticed that she didn’t carry a book bag, but opted for a small purse that slung over one shoulder.

“Hi Professor!” she chirped happily, hands clasped behind her back. Levi allowed himself a smile as he took her in.

“What can I do for you Ms. Ral? Surely you don’t have any complaints about this test--congratulations on ruining the curve, by the way. Your classmates are furious.”

Petra laughed, feeling satisfied with herself as she gazed at him--sleeves rolled up to his forearms and he opted for a vest and tie set that complimented his eyes nicely. “I wanted to let you know that I’m taking Professor Hange’s class next semester for linear algebra.”

His heart fell; he was also teaching that class, but maybe it didn’t fit into her schedule. He didn’t meet her eyes as he said, “She’s a tough teacher, but she’s good at what she does. Don’t expect to be let go early, the woman can and will go on for hours.”

Petra smiled. “I’ll be sure to make a note of it.” And she shuffled between her feet as a light blush came to her cheeks. “I wanted to give you a thank you gift, for all the office hours you’ve given to me the past semester.”

Levi raised a thin eyebrow between his glasses. “You don’t have to do that, Ms. Ral. It’s part of my job. You’re an excellent student, you made my job very easy.”

She batted her eyelashes as she stepped closer to him. He was seated in his leather office chair, arms crossed and she took a deep breath as she stood a foot apart from him, hands still playing with each other behind her back. “It’s nothing expensive. And you can call me Petra, Professor, the semester is over.”

And before Levi could question her words, she leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek. Levi’s heart pounded in his chest, noticing that Petra was visibly shy despite the bold gesture she had just committed and he stared at her, slack jawed.

“Thank you, Professor.”

Levi’s eyes widened, and the hungry need he had for her over the past three months took over. Before he knew it, he was tugging at her wrist and she was straddling his lap, skirt pooling between them as he devoured her into a kiss, lips furiously nipping and biting as she let out an animated moan. Her hands went for his tie, pulling it from his vest and then around his neck where she buried her fingers into his undercut. A shiver of pleasure went down Levi’s spine as he settled his hands at her waist, then her back, and then at the fabric at the end of her shirt.

Panting, Petra raised her arms, signalling for him to take it off, and Levi let out a groan and a fucking hell at her lacy push up bra. Arms wrapped around each other again, Petra leaned into his chest, pressing her tits against him while she grinded against his lap, smiling as she devilishly noticed his hard-on between their clothing. Her breath was hot against his as she moved to unbutton his vest, and he raised himself to take it off, but let out a hiss as their centers made contact.

Not being able to help himself, Levi trailed his fingers up and down her legs, groaning that he was finally able to touch her, and the way the spandex hugged her skin was driving him crazy. He dove between her skirt, reaching for her panties and he played at her apex, noticing that she was incredibly wet, which only turned him on more.

Petra keened and threw her head back in pleasure as he began lavishing her neck with kisses and suckled at her jawline, happy that she tasted as beautiful as she looked. A light floral perfume danced across her flesh, and he inhaled her as he undid the headband from her hair, freeing the locks so he could bury his nose between them.

“Professor, ah, can you please touch me?” She asked weakly, eyes clenched shut from Levi’s ministrations and he chuckled.

“Only because you’ve been such a good student,” he whispered into her ear, and she nodded as he slipped a finger in, and pleasured sighs escaped both of their lips.

“God, you’re so fucking wet. Were you planning on this before you came in?” Levi asked, using his other hand to unbuckle his pants and slid down his zipper.

Petra was finding it harder and harder to think as Levi pumped into her, alternating between two and three fingers, teasing her clit and taking his hands away before she could go any higher. Vision going blurry, she reached for the back of her bra and undid the hook, letting it fall between them and Levi ripped it off, freeing her breasts.

He took a nipple between his teeth and bit down hard, earning a cry from Petra as she begged him to keep touching her while he buried his face into her chest. Petra moved to play with both of her nipples, all while riding against his hand and she felt like her heart was about to explode from Levi’s touch.

She slid her tongue against his lips, drinking him in as she asked him to help slide her panties down, and he obliged, but not before pocketing them into his pants. She shot him a questioning look, and he smirked, “This is my thank-you gift.”

Bashfully, Petra smiled and pawed him between his underwear, stroking his length up and down with her hand and she pulled his waist down just far enough to free his member. She gasped at his size, and Levi let out a hum of satisfaction while she took a moment to gaze at it, providing him with light touches.

“Levi, can I ride you?” She asked demurely, eyes fixated on his dick and he gripped her by the ass to guide her close.

Leaning over, he whispered into her ear, “That’s Professor Ackerman to you.”

Petra keened at his husky voice, and lowered herself onto him, moaning loudly as he breached her, dick hot against her tight entrance.

“That’s a good girl,” he encouraged, holding her close as she steadily bobbed up and down, her wetness providing enough slickness between them. His balls smacked against his legs, and her tits bounced each time she reached his hilt and she cried out.

Wild with lust, Levi toyed with her clit as she continued to ride him, fingers dancing and shaking as she paused to catch her breath. Their eyes met, and with equal fervor, they kissed as Petra braced her hands against his shoulders, pace increasing and then reaching her climax in a frenzy as she bobbed up and down.

“Professor,” she whined, releasing her hands and crying into his collar as she rode out her orgasm.

Levi’s eyes were clenched shut as her walls fluttered around him, her tightness becoming too much for him as he also met his own pleasure, and he pumped into her in short pulses. Breaths panting, he looked up to meet Petra, who was smiling between breaths.

Still sitting comfortably inside her, Levi laughed warily, unsure of where to go from here. Petra, still wrapping her body around his, licked the lobe of his ear as she said sultrily into his ear, “Did that count as extra credit?”

#rivetra #rivetra fanfiction #Levi x petra #petra x levi #petra ral #my fics

[sif-the-tsunami]

Principal’s Pet

This is part of the Cavill School Writing Challenge. Thank you for @killjoy-assbutt-1112 for creating this idea and @oh-for-fic-sake for making the challenge. I would love feedback from anyone who will be kind enough to give it.

Warnings: Porn without plot. Smutty bondagey goodness. BDSM, Impact play, humiliation, degradation, language, Male Dom, Fem Sub, lactation, breeding, unprotected sex, exhibitionism. If I’m missing anything, let me know.  There is barely any backstory, I just love little scenarios like this. If you are not into impact play, this might not be your flavor. However, please don’t yuck my yum.

Pairing: Principal Cavill x Anita (ofc)

Word count: 2K

A mother’s lust

Smut below the cut!

Principal Cavill sat in his office, typing away at the report he was going to be submitting to the school board the next morning. The soft motorized sucking noise, a faint gasp and sultry moan filled the silence he left while pondering what to include next. His mechanical keyboard clacking rhythmically, he looked up from the screen and gazed at the woman tied to the chair next to his desk. She was one of the young, unwed mothers that had come to the Cavill Reform and Vocational School for Young Women seeking job skills from one of the programs they offered. The school had a private dormitory and child care for these women coming into the school for training. Some of the girls were there because other private schools would no longer take them, others were there because the school boasted a high success rate of getting the women hired after completion. Either way, over the years, it had developed a nickname. The girls enrolled referred to it as The Cavill School for Wayward Strumpets.

The strumpet currently soaking her panties on the wooden chair in his office was being punished for sneaking out after curfew. She evidently wanted to see her baby’s father. A few days ago, she had been in his office with her fussy baby, talking to him about how she didn’t know what she was going to do, but she appreciated the life skills she had been learning. She looked exhausted that afternoon. The principal asked her to hand the baby over to him. He gently rocked back and forth with the tiny infant in his arms. The little one let out a wail and then fell asleep.

“See, Anita, sometimes you just need to relax and the things you want will happen.” He said calmly. He looked at her big green eyes. Just below her eyes, he noticed the dampness growing across her breasts. The baby’s cries must have triggered her let down. He tried to keep his face neutral, but when she noticed, her face flushed deeply and he saw the humiliation written across her face. Between the breast milk, and that lovely blush that graced her face, he could feel himself stirring. She babbled an apology and covered herself. He offered her his dark blue sweater so she could go back to her dorm and change.  The sweater was so huge on her that it made him chuckle to himself. He handed the sleeping baby back to Anita and she shuffled off.

This morning, she was tied to the chair, school uniform skirt hiked up so he could see her little pink panties, her blouse was unbuttoned down to her waist, full tits pulled out over her bra cups with a fancy breast pump attached to her nipples. The pump had been draining her for the past twenty minutes and the milk pouches were almost completely full. Her pouty lips were held apart by a gag causing her to drool down her neck and chest. What the woman didn’t know was that the gag in her mouth was shaped after the head of Principal Cavill’s cock. He had shoved it her mouth after she wouldn’t stop backtalking to him in protest.

Anita let out a pained whimper. He said in a sweet tone “Oh dear, I should take those off of you, shouldn’t I. Your poor sensitive nipples.”

He removed the pumps from her chest. Eyeing the droplets left clinging on to her puffy, aching nipples, the Principal leaned forward and licked the liquid gold. The softness of his tongue after the harshness of the pump made her inhale sharply then moan. He fixed the pouches of milk and placed them in the little refrigerator in his office. He came back and started massaging her large breasts. Her eyes fluttered shut and she pushed her chest towards his hands. “You are a very good mummy, you know that right? You are doing the right thing for you and your little angel by being here. I see a lot of potential in you Anita, however, you still need to be punished.”

He took off his silk tie first, then his supple leather belt. He untied the young woman from the chair, and leaned her over his desk. She didn’t fight him at all. He used his silk tie to bind her arms behind her back. Stand behind her, he used one of his feet to spread her legs apart. He could see the pooling arousal in those light pink panties. “Little girl, you have earned fifteen lashes on this beautiful ass of yours. If you are a good girl and take this with some dignity, I’ll be sure to put in a good word with Mr Solo, and make sure he sends you something special for dinner. Alright?”

The bound woman nods her head. With his thick thumbs, he pulls the pink panties down by her knees. The first lash leaves a red welt across her perfect posterior. She yelps and flinches slightly. The second lash hits above the last, the next several hit different parts of her rump. By the ninth lash, he noticed that she was moaning more than yelping, raising her ass a little to meet the belt. Her sex glistened with her arousal. He paced out the last six as evenly as he could. Even with the special consideration he took with her backside, her skin was red and angry. He leaned forward to pull her panties back up for her when she arched her back and presented herself more to him. His office smelled like her gorgeous sex, and he wanted to bury himself in her rose colored core. He kissed one of the red welts gently. “You liked this, didn’t you? My little pain slut.”

Her eyes were dreamy as she nodded at him. He ran his hand up her thigh, stopping at the beautiful flower, begging to be watered. She pressed herself into his thumb that brushed against her sex. “You like feeling humiliated like this don’t you? Someone could just walk through that door and see what a slut you are for me. But I bet you want that, don’t you?”

Between the questions, he planted kisses on different welts, on the last one he bit down. The noise that came from around the gag in her mouth was primal and made his cock throb. He then had an idea, he wanted to test the limits of this little masochist in his grasp. He undid his tie on her wrists and then in a quick movement, he rolled her onto her back, and pushed her so her bottom and feet were on his desk. He took the straps from the chair and tied her wrists to the same side’s ankle leaving her pussy open and on display for him. He walked around to her head for a moment, taking in the beautiful tableau before him. Her breast still bare for him, nipples puffy and erect. He leaned down and whispered in her ear “I want to try something with you,” His voice was thick with desire. “None of my other students have seemed to enjoy their punishment as much as you have. I think we might both like this, but I need to know you trust me.”

Anita nodded her head, smirking behind the gag in her mouth. He leaned down and kissed her around the apparatus in her mouth. He trailed his mouth down her exposed skin, flicking his tongue on her sore nipples and he continued to her waiting center.

He fixed his belt in hand, and brought down the first stroke on her core. The young woman screamed behind the gag, she shuttered but left her legs open. He ran his hand up her thigh, “Do you want me to stop?”

She lifted her head off the table, eyebrows knitted together and violently shook her head no. “You want me to keep going?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

He brought the belt down again. Again she shuttered and cried out. A third stroke had her eyes rolling to the back of her head. A forth one had her back arching and legs trembling. A last well placed smack landed dead center and she was so close to heaven.

He watched as she trembled and writhed on his desk. He leaned his head down between her thighs and kissed the bruised flower. She gasped and her hands searched for his as he pulled to to the edge of the desk and buried his face in her lust. On his knees he ravished her sacred garden. Kissing, nibbling, sucking on her most delicate anatomy, he brought her to the edge of immense pleasure and watched as she rode the wave as it crashed around her. He wiped his face off on her thigh, leaving a lingering kiss near her knee. “I want to fuck this pretty pussy of yours, Anita. I want to fuck you like that weak little boy who knocked you up and left you to fend for yourself never could. I want to show you want a man can do for you, will you have me?”

After a moment’s hesitation, Anita again nodded enthusiastically. With that he unleashed himself from the pants he was wearing. He ripped his shirt off and his clothes fell down to the floor with a light plop. The principal rubbed himself against her opening, getting himself slick with her pleasure. In a slow, smooth movement, he entered her. Her back arched again and a sexy, deep moan of pleasure came out. He began to pound himself her red and raw flesh.

“You like this, don’t you? My little pain slut. You are so fucking sexy. You like being used, your cunt is so tight on my cock.” The principal rasped as laid claim to the woman’s body. He started rubbing her clit with his large thumb, “Do you got another one in you, baby? Think you can cum on my cock?”

Before Anita could answer, the office door swung open. Mr Walker entered the room, “Hank, you wanted to see me?”

He stopped dead in his tracks seeing the young woman being impaled on the desk with Principal Cavill thrusting into her. The interruption was just what she needed to make her see stars again. Her eye’s rolled back in her head as she screamed again behind the gag in her mouth. “Now’s not a good time, Walker. Oh, you fucking slut, cum on my dick.”

Walker chuckled to himself and left the room exclaiming, “I fucking love this job.”

The principal’s eyes never left his captive, feeling her body convulse on him, made him join her in absolute pleasure. He emptied himself into her willing body.

He rubbed the inner part of her thigh as she twitched and moaned for him. She was wrecked. He watched as the cum pooled on his desk after he had removed himself from her. He took the silk tie and cleaned himself off with it, then proceeded to untie his victim. Kissing her one more time around the gag, he unleashed her. He pointed at the mess they had made with a quite, “Do you mind cleaning that up?”

Without a word, she got up off the desk, walked over to the edge then seductively bent over and licked up every drop that had spilled from her. She moaned like it was the sweetest nectar she had ever tasted. She was going to make an excellent plaything for her remaining time at the school. 

Reaching into his desk, he pulled out the balm he used when he got too heavy handed for some of the girls. He then ever so gently rubbed the salve on her welted bottom and sex. He might be strict, but never cruel. He paid special attention to her little bruised flower. She sucked in air and ground herself against his hand. Without being asked she moved her hands behind her back, allowing him to look at her body unobstructed.

“As long as you are here, as long as you are mine, this little honey pot belongs to me. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Principal Cavill.”

“You are no longer allowed to cum without my permission. You will not fuck without my permission. You will open yourself to whoever I tell you to. You will be one of my prized bitches, and I will breed you however and to whoever I see fit. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Principal Cavill.” She bit her lip, and he felt her body get warm on his fingers. He pulled his hand out from her cum dripping core and he put them in front of her face. Her green eyes never left his blues as she sucked their fluids off of his thick digits.

“Someone tried training you before, didn’t they?” He asked, she nodded as she kept sucking. It wasn’t until his fingers were cleaned that he allowed her to redress. He looked at her lovely neck and thought how much better it would look with collar on. He wondered about the depths of her depravity and how hard she would work for his pleasure. He almost wished he could let her lay on the dog bed he kept under his desk for Kal, so she could tenderly kiss and and stroke  his cock when he wanted.

Principal Cavill instructed young Anita that when she got to her room, she would need to take a bath. And that tomorrow she would be expected to visit him again in the morning so he could make sure to tend to her welts. He handed her the milk she pumped earlier and left her with some final instructions.

“Oh, And I will have Mr Solo to send you up some vanilla ice cream tonight. I expect you to be able to hand express yourself tomorrow into my morning cup of coffee. Maybe if you are a good girl tonight and don’t sneak out again, I’ll let you sit on my cock while you do it. If yo are really good girl, I might even let you cum. However, if you are a bad girl, I’ll make Mr Walker watch as I thrash your bottom again while you are bent over my desk and you will have to tell him what a pain slut you are. Understood?”

Anita smirked mischievously. “Yes, Principal Cavill. Thank you, Principal Cavill.”

#Cavill school writing challenge #henry cavill #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fanfic #rpf #henry cavill rpf #fanfiction #smut #male!dom #fem!sub

[akitokihojo]

Monster - Chapter 3

chapter index

Miroku woke early the next morning, groggy, uncomfortable, and insanely stiff. His head was hurting, his eyes were still heavy, his mouth was as dry as cotton, and his side leading over to his back was sore as all hell. The air felt weird. Something was off. The sensation was so predominating, it quickly overpowered the physical ailments he’d focused on as soon as he’d come to.

He blinked several times, attempting to push away the sleep that beckoned him back, the pull of the lingering drowsiness due to fatigue and medicinal properties. He wished he could stretch, awaken his muscles, but he knew that wouldn’t have the same effect as it did yesterday morning. He knew it would only hurt like a bitch. Resolving to deal with the tension in his body, Miroku turned his head, taking in his surroundings to see if he could pinpoint anything in his bedroom that may have been out of the norm to create the awkward feel in the atmosphere.

Sota sat on the edge of his bed, a straight and sullen expression on his face, brown eyes holding still on their wooden flooring. His fingers gripped the fitted sheet of his mattress, and Miroku could see the lack of color in his cheeks from across the room.

“What’s up?” He tried, his tone huskier than he’d expected.

Sota glanced up, unsurprised that he was awake, but as his voice came out, it held no conviction. “Nothing.”

“You okay, munchkin?” Miroku tried again, slowly, slowly pushing his elbows beneath him to start sitting up.

Sota didn’t say anything that time, his eyes falling back to the floor.

“You have a nightmare or something. Are you sick?”

His gaze flickered back up to Miroku but avoided his eyes, unable to hold steady on him at all. They faltered away, then wandered back up, faltered, then lifted, finally meeting Miroku’s patient, indigo stare. “Kagome’s gone.”

Miroku’s brows gave a minute twitch together, unable to understand what his younger cousin had meant by that. The corner of his lips curled downward slightly, but when there was no elaboration given, he had to, inevitably, reach for it. “What do you mean, Kagome’s gone?”

“I mean, she’s gone.” Sota stated.

“Where? On an errand?”

“No.”

“Then where did she go?”

There was a moment of hesitation, one where Sota sucked in a suspenseful breath, the hollow of his throat emphasizing before he sighed it all out and gave Miroku the direct answer he was looking for. “To fight Naraku.”

A surge of ice rushed through Miroku’s body. Any expression he was holding fell away, eyes widening, and his body moving of its own accord as he jolted to sit upright. His ribs protested heavily, feeling as if they were stabbed through and bringing him to immediately regret the action, and he groaned, clutching his side and fighting the urge to curl into himself. He shoved the held air in his lungs out, forcing himself into composure, hardly even realizing Sota had rushed across the room to support him if he needed anything. When the boy’s hand, cold and clammy, met Miroku’s bare shoulder, he glared up at him. “Tell me this was a bad dream you had.”

At first, Sota didn’t know how to answer that. There was so much panic in that single moment with Kagome’s disappearance and the inability to help Miroku’s pain, so he couldn’t help but have the words, or lack thereof, catch in his throat from the unbelievable perturbation.

“Sota, you can’t be serious.”

“She’s gone.” He finally confirmed. “Whatever you guys were planning to do together, she’s doing alone.”

“Fuck!” Miroku cursed, swinging his legs over the edge of his mattress. He had to halt, to brace himself there as he caught his bearings, willing the pain to subside in such a dramatic moment. “When did she leave!?”

“I don’t know. Sometime in the night.” The defensiveness in his tone was rising. Although he’d expected Miroku’s justifiable temperament, he admittedly wasn’t very good at keeping a level head, himself, in the face of conflict.

“And, you knew!?”

“Yes.”

“You knew when she left, or you knew she was going to leave?” Miroku interrogated.

“I knew she was going to leave! Miroku, what are you doing!?” He extended his arms out, prepared to catch his cousin if he lost his balance as he rose to a standing, trudging over toward the door.

“Why didn’t you tell us!?”

“She asked me not to! You would have stopped her!”

“Yeah, that’s the point!”

“She really wanted to do this! She said there was no way to talk her out of it!”

“Sota, don’t you understand?” Miroku asked, winded as he braced against the doorframe of the door he’d just opened. “She could be killed on her own! We had a plan to do it together for a reason!”

“Sit down! You’re in pain!”

“She’s so stupid for going alone! We were supposed to help! God, why is your sister such an idiot!?”

“You’re hurt, Miroku! How could you have helped any? You can hardly walk!” Sota argued.

“She should have waited!”

“She should have, but she didn’t! There’s nothing we can do about that now!”

“Sota,” Miroku had barely moved a foot, leaning against the wall as he slowly turned to look at the younger boy. His heart was pounding within his chest, air pumping through his lungs like he’d run a mile, a heat in his eyes he knew his cousin felt. “How long did you know?”

Again, he hesitated with his answer, feeling nervous and strained. His jaw hung agape, but his tongue created no words, hardly breathing as he physically felt the anger coming from Miroku.

“How long, Sota?” He repeated slowly, clearly.

“Since Naraku’s men left; when I took her aside to calm her down. She told me then.” Sota admitted.

“What is going on?” His mother asked, looking shocked and upset and disheveled while she wrapped her arms around her center to keep her body heat in.

The two boys stared at her, their expressions wavering to match the other’s. Shoulders sagged and brows curved sadly, sympathetically, as they knew this was going to be the worst part of all.

Miroku couldn’t bring himself to say anything more, using the wall as assistance while he trudged down the hall to Kagome’s bedroom, Sota sticking very close while his aunt followed behind, small noises escaping her mouth as her confusion became more prominent. He didn’t bother knocking, though he’d almost raised his knuckles to rasp on the door, completely out of reflex. His fingers curled around the knob, twisting it and pushing it open.

The room was empty. Cold. The bed was unmade, the window was open, and the energy of the room felt lifeless. Kagome was long gone. He limped forward, straight to the open window, noticing the undisturbed dew and leftover raindrops on the windowsill, and even some that had made it to the wooden floor inside just below.

“Where’d Kagome go? I didn’t hear her get up this morning.” She said with a small voice. She could tell something was wrong. She was sure she’d heard her daughter’s name come from the boys while they were yelling, but she was barely waking up at the time and wasn’t quite able to process things well yet.

Miroku turned to look at her, noticing Sota had sat on his sister’s bed, his shoulders drooping further while his head had sunken down. As much as he wanted to pin the blame on Sota, he knew this was more so on him. He knew he was responsible for explaining since he’d helped originate the plan that Kagome had chosen to execute on her own. Sota actively failed to prevent the incident, but Miroku actually knew the details behind it.

“What is going on?” His aunt asked again, her tone slightly deeper, more serious.

“Auntie, sit down.”

“Tell me.” She sternly ordered.

He sighed, turning around to close the window. Again, his ribs protested, a sharp pain jabbing at his muscles and bones, so he was careful to move slowly as he locked it shut. He figured if he was able to do all this there was no way they could be broken.

“Kagome left to fight Naraku. On her own.” He said as he faced her once more, having the respect not to beat around the bush. “Kikyo’s messages really meant something to her, and you know how often she got them. What you don’t know is that we’ve kept up the training we were started on. Worse, actually.” He kind of flinched in preparation of his own admittance. “We’ve intentionally sought out demons - harmful ones - to test our strengths. That’s how Kagome really knew how to hide her powers whenever there were inspections. She’s learned how to use them pretty well. She didn’t want to be defenseless, and I agreed that she shouldn’t be. She’s a conjurer and they’re blacklisted, so she should, at the very least, know what she was capable of to potentially see why - if not only to protect herself. The thing was, and I’m sorry, but we all - Kagome, Sango, and I - planned on doing this exact thing together. She’s positive there are other conjurers receiving the very same messages that she is, so there’s probably going to be an army made up to take down Naraku. She wants to join, and Sango and I wanted to be part of the cause. But, apparently, yesterday she decided to do it all on her own. She left in the middle of the night without telling anyone. Except for Sota.”

There was a horrible silence that filled the air when Miroku had stopped talking. He could see that the information was sinking in with his aunt but her gaze stayed locked on him, only leaving to look at Sota when he was mentioned, and then shooting back to Miroku.

“You all had planned to leave together?” She finally asked.

“Yes.” He answered.

“Were you going to say anything when this happened?”

“No.” His blue eyes fell to the floor briefly, the shame evident. It wasn’t like they didn’t think about how it would affect their families; they’d discussed all the details several times over and eventually came to terms with their decisions. It wasn’t something he was prepared to face, though. “We were packed for it. Whenever Kagome felt like it was time to leave - as in Kikyo gave some sort of direct order or something - we were equipped to head out.”

“You - you were packed?” His aunt inquired, appearing somewhat taken aback.

“Yeah.” Miroku confirmed. “We kept our things hidden in the location we trained at, along with our weapons.”

She made a small sound of muddled astonishment, her brows shrugging and then furrowing. “I’d always wondered what had happened to Kagome’s bow and arrows.”

“Um - well, the bow you’re thinking of broke. We had to replace it a year ago, so we went and bought a new one.” He confessed, his jittery nerves showing a bit more.

“You - how - how did you buy a new one? Where?” She questioned speculatively.

“We’ve been doing side jobs outside of town for a while now - you know what, that’s irrelevant. What matters is that we were raising money for the trip so we weren’t empty-handed financially.”

“Good lord, it’s like pandora’s box is opening inside my house.” She groaned, rubbing her forehead. She exhaled heavily, regaining her bearings as she turned to her quiet son. “And, you knew about this?”

“Not all that.” Sota shook his head, his reply hasty while his fear of backlash rode on the surface. “When Kagome and I were in the treehouse yesterday she told me she was leaving, but she made me promise not to tell anybody.”

“And, you kept that promise knowing how dangerous the situation was?”

“It was a pinky promise.” He defended.

His mother opened her mouth like she was ready to quickly retort, but instead all he heard was the sharp inhale from her throat before she sealed her lips, leaving the air locked in her lungs as the hollow of her neck deepened. She closed her eyes, brows pinched together when she finally exhaled, once again rubbing her forehead with her fingertips.

“Anything else?” She asked testily.

Both Sota and Miroku shook their heads in reply.

“Do we know how long ago she left?”

“By the looks of it, hours ago.” Miroku said while Sota, again, shook his head.

“What are the chances of us finding her?”

“Slim.” Miroku answered. “There’s no saying what direction she went off in, and she’s got quite the head start on us. I can’t walk very fast in my condition, let alone chase after her. It’s not like we can gather up the town to get them to help out, because they’ll have questions and it’ll compromise her well-being and secret. Not to mention, even if we did miraculously catch up, it would be a fight on its own to convince her to come home.”

“So -“ There it was. The devastated expression he’d been waiting to appear on his aunt’s face finally emerged, though she valiantly tried to fend it off. “So, she’s gone?”

“We can look. See if she got far.” He breathed defeatedly. “But, yes. I’m pretty sure Kagome’s gone.”

—

“Alright, so I searched the areas we usually went to together, and she’s not there. But, she’s definitely been to the cave. Her weapon’s gone, and she took a few things from the bag we’d packed. I saw footprints in the mud nearby leading off onto the forest path, and thankfully the mud was soft so it left a deep impression. Unfortunately, it seems some horses and men have been on that path not too long ago, making it hard to follow, and where the mud gets firmer, her footprints have washed away. So, there’s no telling where she is, but we do know what direction she’s gone off in.” Sango said, a little breathless as she returned to her boyfriend’s side. She’d been flustered since the moment Sota showed up at her doorstep this morning, pale and rattled, and when she was caught up to speed after following him back to his house, she immediately went searching for clues.

“Okay, that’s something.” Miroku nodded, silently thanking her from his uncomfortable seat on the couch as he placed a hand on the back of her thigh.

“How is that something?” Sota queried.

“Because, we’ll know where to start when we’re able to follow her.” He answered.

“Thank you, Sango.” His aunt said from where she stood next to the kitchen table, sighing out a feeble ounce of stress.

“Wait, you guys are still planning on going?” Sota asked.

“Of course.” Sango confirmed.

“We’re not going to let her do this alone. The plan remains, and we’re going to help her. Unfortunately, I’ve got a handicap, but as soon as I’m good to go, we’ll head out.”

“And, my dad should hopefully be back by the end of the week. In the hopes that he won’t be out on another mission when the time comes, we’ll be able to take Kirara with us so we can hopefully catch up to Kagome faster. If you don’t mind, and I know this is wrong to ask of you, but would you keep this on the down low? We all know he wouldn’t allow this.”

“Rightfully so.” Kagome’s mother remarked. “This is incredibly dangerous, and I’m inclined to make you both stay out of this mess. We all saw a daughter violently torn away from her mother yesterday, my own daughter is now missing, and now my nephew and his girlfriend are ready to follow in her footsteps? Do you understand just what you’re getting yourself into?”

“Yes -“ Miroku barely got out before his aunt interjected.

“No, you don’t. Naraku is the demon of all demons. He’s singlehandedly ostracized beings for reasons unknown, put them on this hit list because he can, and you guys think you’re just going to walk up to him, challenge him to a duel, and leave unscathed? All because some Kikyo lady appeared in Kagome’s dreams and said so? I know you’re all adults and you’re capable of making your own decisions now, but you’re making the wrong ones so I’ll make them for you. Neither of you are going.”

“But, what about Kagome?” Sota argued.

“I can’t protect her, Sota. She’s already gone.” She slighted.

“They can help, though!”

“They’re eighteen, nineteen, and twenty acting like they’re as wise and experienced as the grown demon slayers in the village. Do any of you know exactly what those demon slayers had to go through to gain their knowledge and skills? And, don’t you answer that, Sango. I know your father’s the leader, and you’ve had a bit of experience yourself, but you don’t know the half of it. You think your dad’s told you all the stories? You think your dad’s let you in on every little, gory detail of his trials? It baffles me that you guys think training on your own and exterminating various demons outside of town would make you well-prepared for a journey like this. It’s a death sentence I won’t let you sign up for. You’re not going.”

“I understand where you’re coming from, Auntie, but we are. We’re going. Despite her decisions, I’m not going to let Kagome do this on her own.” Miroku spoke, keeping his tone as level and respectful as possible.

There was a moment of silence, one where his aunt clenched her jaw, dropped her shoulders, and plopped into the seat beside her. “You - all three of you - are too much like your fathers for your own good.”

“I know, I know.” He sighed. “It’s your number one complaint about Kagome and I. But, we’ve gotta see this through with her. At her side. I want to punch her as much as anyone in this room, believe me, but wouldn’t you feel more comfortable knowing she’s not alone? Wait, no, don’t answer that.” Miroku recoiled, holding up his hand to stop his aunt from saying anything the moment she glared his way.

“Thank you.” Sango softly spoke. “For showing how much you care about us. For expressing your concerns and voicing what’s on your mind. Thank you. You’re right, we don’t have nearly as much experience as we should. Truthfully, I don’t think there’s enough experience in the world that could prepare us for what we’re about to do. We’ve gotta try, though. This has been hell for us all, but imagine it from Kagome’s perspective. They’re after her. Her kind, but ultimately, her. We want to protect her just like you, we just show it in a different way. She’s justified in wanting to fight, so our way of demonstrating support and doing what we can to help is by going with her. Besides, you know Kagome. She’s as stubborn as a mule, so when her mind is made up, there’s no fighting it. There’s only going with the flow.”

Sota added his input by dramatically nodding in agreement, knowing all too well his sister's temperament and obstinance.

“She should have waited.” Miroku said again. “But, she can handle her own until we catch up.”

“Kagome can definitely handle her own.” Sango attested. “I don’t know if this matters to you, but she’s folded Miroku in a match before. She’s a tough cookie.” She smiled when her friend’s mother had to hide her conflicted giggle behind her hands, noticing her boyfriend’s slow, shifting, disapproving look from the side.

“It was funny.” She shrugged, not even bothering to hide her amusement.

“I wish I’d seen it!” Sota laughed.

“Are you guys sure?” Miroku’s aunt asked, more to see if there was any apprehension in their expressions. She could tell though, with their direct eye contact, their nods, their steady answers and confident demeanor, that even if she did attempt to forbid them, they would only be resolved to sneak out behind everyone’s backs - like Kagome. At least this way, being in the know, she would be able to help in whatever way she could. Whether that be in moral support, assisting Miroku to help him mend as fast as possible, or even making sure to help them pack for anything they may need.

Her daughter was brave. She was strong. She was like her father. What terrified her was that Kagome was mortal. But, she had to have faith. She had to take Sango and Miroku’s word for it that she could, in fact, take care of herself.

—

Kagome fluttered her brown eyes open, blinking away her sleep as she gathered her surroundings. She was fully and instantly aware that she was in the wilderness, incapable of forgetting that tidbit no matter how exhausted she was, but she needed to focus as best as she could in her sleepy stupor to make sure no demonic energies were nearby.

She was still safe.

The sun wasn’t too high in the sky yet, as far as she could tell from the trees and patchy clouds, so she had probably only dozed off for a few hours at the most, her fire reduced to nothing but flickering embers. She was still tired but she felt better than she had before, and she knew she needed to get moving. Where to? Who knows. She felt in her gut that she was on the right path, though. The only path, really.

Her back felt cramped and tense as she slowly peeled herself off of the tree she’d rested against, strands of her hair pulling while it stuck to the bark, making her groan. When she stood, dusting off her pants and stretching a bit, she felt life begin to flow through her muscles again. Kagome wasted no time in getting herself situated to head out. She adjusted her clothing, her bodice which had climbed up her chest a little, ran her fingers through her wavy hair, got her bag and bow and arrows situated over her shoulders again, and then kicked dirt over the remainder of what used to be called a fire, heading back toward the trail and on her way.

—

“Why’d you run?” Inuyasha asked.

“Why’d you chase me?�� Hiten countered, an arrogant smirk on his face. His tan skin was moist with the afternoon warmth and the adrenaline flowing through his body, red eyes meeting Inuyasha’s proud stare. His long, brown braid swayed from side to side as it gradually began to still, heavy but neatly kept from his face.

“I caught wind that you’ve been a bit of an asshole. Apparently, rumors are true.”

“Yeah?”

“You wouldn’t have run if they weren’t.”

“Well,” Hiten shrugged, his smile widening, completely untroubled. “Looks like you just answered your own question.”

“I’ve warned you before, Hiten. I told you to watch your step.” Inuyasha reminded, swallowing the frustration that quickly built up in him whenever he dealt with cocky sons of bitches.

“Awe,” He feigned a pout. “Can’t you be cool and let me off with another warning, Inuyasha?”

“Unfortunately for you, I don’t like you. I don’t even know why I gave you an exception in the first place. This time, though, no chance. You killed a girl. That’s a dramatic escalation from what you did last time.”

“And, she was mighty tasty.” Hiten licked his lips.

Inuyasha cringed, his entire face contorting. “Ew! What? Hiten, what the fuck!?”

“What -“

“You ate her!?”

“Wait, what? You didn’t know that?” He questioned, all confidence fading from his expression as he looked skeptically over at his enemy.

“Does this look like the face of somebody in the know!? No, I didn’t know that! What the fuck!? Why!? You’re a fucking thunder demon, dude! You’re not even based off of a carnivorous animal! I don’t understand!” Inuyasha argued, absolutely and utterly disgusted. He was so appalled, he even took two steps away from the guy, his lips remaining distastefully curled.

“Wow - um - this is a little awkward.” He admitted, scratching his temple sheepishly. “Why are you here then?”

“Because, there’s money over your head!” Inuyasha exclaimed. “They want your head, I want their money, I got the gist of everything - I don’t know, I felt like it was a fair trade! You ate her!?”

“Y-yeah.” He shrugged again.

“Ew!” That time, Inuyasha cringed so bad his entire body convulsed, like a huge, unwelcome shiver ran down his spine. “Why?”

“I was - you’re not gonna like the answer to this.” Hiten said, giving fair warning. When Inuyasha didn’t decline further explanation, he proceeded. “She was - we were - nude, consensually of course, and - um - well, she smelled really good while we were - while I was - you know… So, like, during that I kind of wanted to - um - taste her.”

Inuyasha had deadpanned mid-speech, his mouth hanging agape, golden eyes blinking as he processed the given information. “Good sir, you took cunnilingus to a level it should have never gone to.”

“Yeah.” Hiten grimaced, nodding in agreement.

“When her soul leaves her body, it’s supposed to remain metaphorical.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Another nod, another grimace.

“And, yet…” Inuyasha grumbled.

“I took it there.” Hiten confirmed.

“Are you proud of yourself?”

“I mean…”

“Never mind, don’t answer that.” The hanyou waved off.

“I really wish you didn’t know now.” Hiten said uncomfortably. “Like, the moment’s gone. I don’t really feel like fighting anymore.”

“Hey, I wish I didn’t know either. Believe me, I have a horribly vivid imagination, so this is gonna eat at me for days.”

Hiten chuckled, attempting to hide it behind his fist as he glanced away.

“Hey - oh god. No pun intended, you sick bastard. Moment’s back! Come here, I’m gonna kick your ass!” Inuyasha yelled, grossed out.

“No, thanks! I’m good!” He laughed, jogging backward.

“I don’t even give a fuck about the money anymore! I’m just gonna kill you!”

“Didn’t know you were such a feminist, buddy!”

“Don’t you ‘buddy’ me, you creep! Stop -“ The two demons halted in their tracks, alert, one with a blooming grin and the other with wide, uneasy eyes.

“Let me tell you, Inuyasha.” Hiten spoke gruffly. "Once the taste sits on your tongue, there’s no preventing the addiction. She wasn’t my first. And, it looks like lunch is nearby. Too bad I’m a lot faster than you since I can fly and all.”

Inuyasha tensed as the demon flew off in the direction he’d smelled a girl walking not too far away. Cursing under his breath, he finally sheathed his sword, sprinting to follow Hiten.

Kagome had gone off trail. She’d seen a town in the distance, but if she looked as bad as she felt, the last thing she wanted to do was attract attention to herself. She said it was for the sake of adventure - and privacy - that she’d decided to venture through the trees, her boots crunching the leaves littering the forest floor. The trees weren’t close together by any means, leaving plenty of walking room between, light easily breaking through the treetops. She figured she’d go around the village and continue on the trail from the other side. No harm, no foul.

Until she felt a sudden and alarming spike in demonic energy. It was heading her way and fast. So fast, in fact, that by the time she’d turned around, she was staring at a man at the top of a slope, a dangerous smile curling his lips.

“Hey. You lost?” He spoke, even the click of his tongue proving menacing.

Of course. Of course this would happen right now. Kagome mentally rolled her eyes at her luck, bracing with a dragged inhale. His energy was threatening, and he definitely meant harm. There was no reason for Kagome to entertain his question. She knew what was about to go down. Without response, she ran off. All she needed was to give herself time. Just a little space. Given how fast he’d initially approached, he was going to be on her in a matter of seconds, but that was all she needed.

Kagome rolled her shoulder, allowing her bow to fall off, slide down her arm and into her hand where she tossed it over to her left. She spun back around to face the oncoming demon, her feet sliding - almost stumbling in the dirt - from the speed, an arrow plucked from its quiver and pulled back into the string of her bow, ready to shoot. The demon froze just feet away from her, his shocked expression shifting into one of entertained as he held his hands up in front of him defensively.

“Woah-ho-ho.” He chuckled. “You’re fucking quick.”

Kagome didn’t say anything just yet, eyes locked on the demon as her chest pumped air in and out of her lungs. She had good aim; she could hit him for sure. The trouble was, could she kill him? With her conjurer powers, sure. Maybe. Yes. But if, by chance, she missed, her secret was out and she was dead. Honestly, if she missed either way, she was dead. She was resolved to go ahead and use her powers before she felt the nearing aura of another demon - one not quite as strong, one with an intriguing warmth radiating from it, one she felt a compelling pull to investigate but she forced herself to leave it alone. Two demons in the same vicinity typically meant they came together. But, if she used her abilities and the other sensed or saw it, she was done for.

No matter what, the situation was looking grim. If they were together, why wouldn’t she just use her powers? Why wouldn’t she just protect herself the way she’d trained for so long now? Why was a voice in her mind telling her not to do anything she’d regret? You know what she’d actually regret? Dying on her first day, that’s what.

“What do you want?” She asked, her raspy voice adding unintentional, dramatic flare.

“I just want to chat. Come on, put the bow down.”

“Not interested.”

“What do you think you’re actually gonna do with that?” Hiten asked, smiling. “The big, bad archer gonna shoot down a demon? Even if you stuck me, it’d hardly do a thing.”

“Want to bet?” Kagome challenged.

She watched his grin twitch wider, his slimy tongue gliding out but then vanishing altogether as an incredibly powerful, whirlwind of a strike came thundering from her left, dividing the two as it brought them both to jump away.

“Hiten, you five-head, ugly ass bitch!” Came a loud, deep, husky voice. “Your fight’s with me!”

Kagome had tripped in her attempt to escape the blast of power, her butt sore from landing on the protruding root of a tree, and though she took a moment to pity her rump and rub the immediate tenderness away, her attention was still on the scene before her. It was, for lack of a better word, bewildering. Unexpected. A man with a hostile scowl stood at the top of the slope the other demon had appeared on, a large sword encircled in demonic energy held tightly in his grasp. His hair was tied in a high ponytail, light in shade - appearing silver to the eye but almost white where light hit him. Pointed, animalistic ears atop his head told her he was of demonic lineage, but his energy didn’t feel as apparent as the demon’s across from her, still standing but gaze diverted the other’s way. She took that moment to regain herself, standing up to ready her weapon again, this time keeping it aimed low until she understood just what the hell was happening.

“Faster than I gave you credit for. What a fun-sucker.” The demon grumbled.

“Leave her alone!”

If it wasn’t clear before, it was perfectly evident now. The silver-haired demon wasn’t Kagome’s enemy.

“Hiten! Back the fuck up!” He shouted, tone appearing more lethal.

“Or, what?” Hiten chuckled, taking a few steps closer to Kagome while his attention continued to hold on the other demon. Kagome took that opportunity to raise her bow and arrow then, steadying her aim and locking on his chest. His heart. The jerk was, luckily for her, too arrogant to even mind what she was doing. “What are you gonna do? The closer I get to her, the less you’re able to use your fancy sword.”

“Hiten!”

“Oh no, look’s like the pressure’s on. Who’s gonna get her first?” Two more steps forward, his long legs closing the created gap easily.

Kagome pulled her arrow back a smidge, taking a moment to center herself, holding her breath.

“Stop!”

“It’s so easy to rile you up, Inuyasha.” Hiten laughed. “You’re so melodramatic.”

“Hey, wait, that’s kind of rude.” Inuyasha feigned a grimace, dropping his sword a few inches. “I don’t think I deserved that.”

“You called me ugly.” The demon countered with an odd sneer. “And, you said I have a five-head. I’d hardly call that rude in comparison.”

“You know what, that’s fair. Go ahead. She’s all yours.” The hanyou shrugged, resting the tip of Tessaiga to the ground.

Hiten barely thought about it, cocking a brow and turning to the girl before him. There was no time to react, no time to process, his breath caught in his throat so roughly he nearly choked.

The moment he turned to look at her, Kagome released her arrow, the sharp, pointed tip piercing through the left side of his chest. His red eyes widened, crimson staining the front of his dirty, white shirt, stumbling backward two feet from the force of her strike.

“Run, kid!” The order was barked, and Kagome didn’t need to be told twice. She used no spiritual power, so there was no way in hell the demon was dead. He was merely stunned, and she wasn’t about to wait around for him to gather his wits.

She took off like a bat out of hell, racing away, slipping on leaves but keeping her footing well enough to stay balanced and jump over tree roots. She heard, even felt, the strike from the silver-haired demon’s sword, the ground rattling slightly. Hiten’s roar of frustration echoed through her ears as it shifted into a maniacal laugh, haunting, his voice growing louder as he somehow grew nearer.

Kagome was grabbed by her hair, yanked back painfully and stopped in her tracks as she was slammed against a wide, aging tree, dropping her bow in the midsts. Her scream was muted by her own, broken voice, and she fought to push his surprisingly strong body away - despite how scrawny he appeared - while he now pinned her from the front. She didn’t even bother to register whatever taunting statement slipped from his tongue, only paying attention to the torn body of the arrow still in his chest but split apart so it didn’t protrude greatly, and she grabbed the frayed, splintered end, using whatever strength she could muster from her disadvantageous position to shove it further into the crevice of his ribs, even going so far as to twist so the arrowhead hurt him further, his pained shout and agonizing features telling her it was affecting him exactly as she wanted. Demon or not, conjurer powers or not, being stabbed never felt good.

“Let her go.” Came a gruff demand, and everything stopped. The tone was so alerting that even Kagome heeded the venom-laced warning. She could barely see over Hiten’s shoulder, but she knew the silver-haired demon stood right behind him, his sword pointed toward Hiten’s back. With the way Hiten froze entirely, she was willing to bet it was pressed against him. One false move, and he was done. “Now.”

And, he did. Hiten released Kagome, his hands held above his shoulders to show his compliance.

“Behind me.” He instructed, and Kagome knew that was directed towards her. Given they were still standing so close, she had to shimmy her way out from between the tree and the demon, her squished bag sort of sticking to the bark and adding a slight difficulty to the already-awkward glide free.

As soon as she was out, she crossed to the backside of the man with silver hair, picking up her bow along the way to strap over her shoulder. He even went so far as to reach behind, grabbing the loose hem of her green shirt to pull her flush behind his back, completely sheltered by his frame while he held his sword steady with one arm. From the glimpses she’d gotten of it, it seemed huge and heavy. It was impressive to see anyone hold the thing up, let alone with one hand.

There was a rumble in the sky, growing, growing, becoming increasingly louder, surrounding them as the clouds quickly flooded above - dark and ominous. Thunder boomed as if the storm had been brewing for hours, encroaching, but Kagome could have sworn she saw patches of blue just moments ago.

“Stop it.” Inuyasha ordered.

Hiten didn’t say anything, but from the way his shoulders broadened from behind, hands still raised where they were, and head held up high, his body language was radiating obnoxious pride.

“Hiten.” He growled.

The clap of thunder was so loud that time, it startled Kagome, causing her to jump just a little closer to her savior, the fingers of her hands curling into the loose fit of his shirt. It was somehow louder than any storm she’d ever witnessed, last night’s proving incomparable. She stared directly above them, watching as sparks of electricity danced and bounced along the bottom of the dark grey quilt, this result of the friction she’d never before seen. In fact, she was sure that something like this wasn’t even organically possible.

“Um,” She began, merely whispering to the demon she held onto. “We might want to move soon.”

Inuyasha could feel the girl’s anxiety, her nerves, her fingers bunching his shirt tighter. He could feel the demonic energy soaring from Hiten, creating the dangerous scenario above, but her words were what had caught his attention. The hanyou glanced upward, noticing the waltz of the electricity.

“Hiten!”

The opposing demon only laughed, shifting his head to look at Inuyasha as he slowly turned around to face him, modestly pushing his sword aside with the back of his hand.

“Am I supposed to just adhere to you?”

“Knock it off!”

“Or you’ll what?” Hiten challenged.

“You know what!”

“Apparently, your plan is to kill me either way. So, might as well go out with a bang.” He smirked, thunder blaring at that exact moment.

Kagome unintentionally clung to the man, the booming so loud she could feel it in her chest. His large hand grabbed her hip firmly, guiding her as he began to walk backward, and she took the initiative to give him more room, not wanting to make things harder or cause him to trip, so she made her fingers release his shirt.

Lightning struck the ground just to her right, and she hissed the same curse as the man before her. He was quick. Quicker than she’d expected in the moment as he spun around, grabbed her wrist, and dragged her off to run.

“In case you’re wondering,” He began, forcefully keeping her legs moving as fast as they’d go as he sought out shelter. “He’s a thunder demon and - fuck!” He shouted, sliding in the dirt as he came to an immediate stop, lightning falling directly in front of them.

“Where are we supposed to be going!?” Kagome asked as clearly as she could when they ran off in a different direction, never minding the protesting ache in her throat.

“Wherever the fuck we can to get away from this! You want to die!?”

“Not necessarily!”

“Then keep up, kid!”

“Have you ever outrun lightning before?” She questioned. The thunder overhead was nonstop now, electricity falling wherever it could. It was like Hiten held the ability to control it, but also lacked it once the friction built up too much. Nature took over then, and Hiten was merely impervious to her fury.

“Can’t say that I have!”

“Great.” Kagome breathed, her expression falling sarcastically.

Inuyasha found a tree with a decently-sized hollow in the bottom, pulling the girl over and gripping her shoulders to shove her down to her knees and in. “Stay!”

“What?” Her tone was half frantic, half perplexed.

“Stay here, and stay low! If I get hit, I’ll be fine. You? You’re dead.”

“Hey, wait! Lightning can strike trees! Lightning can strike trees!” Kagome protested, trying to crawl out, but the demon casually shoved the sole of his boot against her chest, thrusting her back beneath.

“Stay!” Inuyasha ordered emphatically, his one free hand held up as a sign to stop.

The demon ran off then, leaving Kagome appalled in her hollow, mouth hanging open, and completely taken aback by the sheer audacity of this guy. He did not just use his foot to push her. What was she even supposed to do there? Wait out the storm and hope she got lucky? Sit back and let the boys duke it out? Sure, she’d love to say she had faith in her savior, but she didn’t even know the guy. She didn’t know what he was capable of, how strong he was, or if he was mighty enough to take on the freaking descendant of Thor, himself. Though, saying that made her feel like she was giving him too much credit. Maybe he was a second cousin, twice removed. Sure.

Lightning was more inclined to strike the tall, and while she stood at a solid five feet - two inches, the tree she sat under was significantly larger. While she was certain it held plenty of potential to be safe, it just wasn’t a chance Kagome was comfortable on taking. Plenty of times, she’d seen huge trees charred in half from strikes of lightning. Of course, the thought of being in the open range wasn’t all that desirable either, but it was definitely more exciting; no one could deny that. Sitting back and waiting had never been her thing, anyway.

She could hear them shouting, fighting somewhere behind where she was bunkered, the lightning striking the ground with loud cracks and bright flashes. Carefully, Kagome crawled out of her hole, keeping low to the ground. She peeked behind the tree to see if she could get a visual, but it didn’t look as if they were as close as she’d suspected, bringing her to quickly crawl her way to an adjacent tree, following the sounds of insults, curses, demonic sword attacks, and focused lightning strikes. The thunder roaring didn’t help any, her chest rumbling unsteadily with the noise, muting the pounding of her heart.

Kagome continued her low travels from tree-to-tree, doing her best to remain unseen and not electrocuted. When she finally found them, she realized she had the worst vantage point to help in any way. She could see more of the silver-haired man than that Hiten guy.

Her protector was breathing hard, brows deeply furrowed while he wore a dangerous scowl. The muscles beneath his black, long sleeves were visible and flexed, the veins on the back of his fists that white-knuckled the hilt of his sword prominent even from where she squatted. His fangs were sharp and threatening, and his nose crinkled with severity as he fended off a strike from the opposing demon, retaliating with one of his own that had so much force Kagome had to duck behind the tree entirely to avoid being knocked over.

From the looks of it, he wasn’t getting anywhere. Not fast, at least. Hiten was good at countering, he was quicker than was fair, and apparently packed a punch. It seemed like he needed an opening; one where he could get in his attack and make it count. And, that was where Kagome came in.

She crawled around the trees cautiously, concentrating on staying hidden, and pausing abruptly as lightning struck just a few feet ahead of her. Kagome stared at the burnt spot with wide eyes, her fearful and startled squeak silenced behind her breath as she dragged it out, an oh my god slipping out at the tail end. Kagome couldn’t even begin to help the other melodramatic noises that emitted from her throat as she realized that could have easily been her, and it took a solid moment to talk herself back into crawling forward, literally chanting, “please don’t hit me, please don’t hit me, please don’t hit me,” over and over until she reached a spot where she had a clear visual on the thunder demon.

“This will work.” Kagome whispered, pinning her back to the tree as she prepared herself. She was crouched down, one knee on the ground as she shimmied the bow off her shoulder and pulled an arrow out of its quiver, readying the nock along the string. It didn’t matter if she hit Hiten. It would help, that’s for sure, but all she intended to do was distract him. If he would hesitate, only for a moment, Mr. Silver Hair would have an opportunity to strike. And, if he missed the opportunity, Kagome had justifiable reasoning to call him an idiot.

Would that help any? No. But, justifiable reasoning was justifiable reasoning.

Kagome began to inch her way out from behind the tree, watching the patterns of their movements. It was okay to miss Hiten, but she still needed to hit as close to him as possible in order to grasp his attention. The distraction wouldn’t necessarily work otherwise.

Typically, as with any bad guy that had pride as large as a mountain, he’d stopped for an antagonizing and arrogant speech. He was bleeding from the very same eyebrow he tauntingly cocked, the crimson dripping down the outer corner of his eye, darker than his irises, and gliding slowly toward the center of his cheek. Apparently, her savior deserved a little more credit than what she’d initially given. That didn’t mean she couldn’t hopefully make things a little easier on him.

Kagome stole the opportunity, utilizing the man’s vanity against him, and she positioned herself, quickly pulling back her arrow and firing. The arrowhead whizzed just passed Hiten’s face, the sharp side cutting the edge of his pointed ear, and piercing the tree trunk behind him. Yet again, the man was stunned, his voice dying off mid-word and eyes falling to her.

Inuyasha was almost as surprised by the random arrow shooting through, the damned thing flying right passed his own head before the thunder demon’s. He glanced behind him, noticing the stupid girl staring daringly ahead, crouched down with her bow beginning to inch lower. He didn’t even have a moment to say the insult directed at her on his tongue before his opponent was moving, and fast. Hiten was taking her challenge to heart, running forward, and Inuyasha tossed his sword into his left hand, doing the only thing he could do in such close proximity. Just as the demon came close enough, he pulled back his arm and threw his fist in Hiten’s face, punching him so hard that he completely fell backwards, his head colliding with the hard ground.

“Did you get him?” Kagome shouted, almost unclearly thanks to her broken voice.

“Duh!”

“Is he dead?”

Inuyasha flailed his arms at his side in an annoyed manner. “No, he’s not dead! I punched him, you dipshit!” He yelled, and as if to back up his statement, Hiten push himself from the ground.

“What is with this chick?” Hiten murmured, using the back of his hand to wipe the blood that dripped from his mouth.

“Beats me, but she’s showing you up.” Inuyasha jeered.

“Fuck this.” He growled, his temper spiking. The thunder gave a trembling roar that rattled the ground, the out-of-control lightning strikes ceasing as the clouds seemed to boil with increasing friction.

Inuyasha couldn’t help but avert his attention upward, seeing the disturbing force of inhuman nature bubbling through the break in the treetops. This was bad. This was really fucking bad. This was an attack there was no coming back from if Hiten successfully hit the girl. It was going to be concentrated and lethal, and Inuyasha had no choice but to use his backlash wave. As much as he wanted to avoid the once-unnecessary use of so much power on an annoying fucker like Hiten, it was inevitable now. His amber eyes flew over to the astonished girl, and as if she’d sensed him, her gaze met his a mere second later.

“Run! Go! Take cover, now!” He barked.

His tone was non-negotiable, and given the amount of demonic energy in the atmosphere, Kagome didn’t much feel like arguing that she could help. Honestly, she couldn’t. She had no idea what the thunder demon planned to do, but it felt dangerous and terrifying, and if the silver-haired guy said she didn’t need to stick around for it, then she wasn’t about to.

She didn’t waste time with crawling. Since the sporadic strikes had stopped, she was safe enough to run, and she bolted as quickly as she could, heading back to her sanctuary of a hollow. Kagome skidded around the designated tree, dropping to her hands and knees and making home in the hole. Even through her shirt, she could feel the hair on her arms standing on end from the static, a high-pitched sound budding in the sky, and when a loud crash came, Kagome ducked and covered her ears, protecting herself however she could.

Inuyasha had to wait for the perfect opportunity. With a thunder demon, with the creation of electricity, came scattered energy, like sparks, and he couldn’t use his backlash wave until it all came together. He had one chance, and he was going to get this right. Hiten spared the hanyou a glance with his red eyes, smirking as he raised his right hand into the air. Inuyasha could feel it. He could feel the static, he could feel the threat blossoming, but overall, he could feel Hiten’s demonic energy forming into a saturated mass. It grew larger and larger, figuratively becoming more solid, and as a beam of blinding lightning came shooting down from the sky, Inuyasha stole the moment, raised his sword above his head, his own demonic energy surging to collide with Hiten’s as he whipped the blade to slice it through.

The backlash wave overpowered the thunder demon’s strength, bringing the attack to bounce back at him. Hiten may have been resistant to the direct wrath of the sky, but he wasn’t impervious to Tessaiga’s force deconstructing his own to be used against him. Hiten was arrogant, vulnerable, and in the end, reduced to ashes.

Slowly, as the world outside her little hollow quieted, Kagome began to unfurl. She no longer heard thunder, no longer heard shouting, no longer heard sounds of demonic attacks clashing, no chaos, no fighting, nothing. It was hit and miss as to what had happened. Did her protector win? Did the thunder demon pull through? Was it over?

Inch-by-inch, she crawled out, evaluating the atmosphere. It was calm. Her sights shifted up toward the sky, and once again, the clouds were breaking apart, pieces of blue showing through as if they were never hidden in the first place. The fight definitely had to be over.

Kagome dusted off her knees as she picked herself up off the ground, the bandages on her left hand dirty, and she made a mental note to change them when she could. Strapping her bow over her shoulder where it belonged, she ventured back over to where she’d last seen the two demons, finding herself moving wearily as she neared.

“Hey.” The husky voice startled her more than it should have, and Kagome gasped, spinning around with her fists raised to protect herself.

Inuyasha flinched back out of reaction, his palms shooting up in front of him - half out of his natural instinct to guard and the other half out of surprise. He hadn’t expected her to be so on edge after boldly disobeying him to partake in the battle; he’d figured she was gutsy and idiotic and probably too brave for her own good. That was the first time he’d gotten a good look at the girl’s face, though.

Her cheeks were red - probably from the commotion and the comedown, but her natural shade seemed fair. Maybe a degree or two lighter than his own skin tone. Her eyes were large and brown, but not that muddy-looking brown he more commonly saw in people he didn’t care to look at for more than two seconds. Hers, though deep in color, were finely blended with hues of reds and golds. An artist would have had a field day painting the detail of her irises, finding the golden circle just around her pupils, and freckling the way light caught her colors. The girl’s hair was as dark as raven, faint hints of oceanic blue glimmering in the rays of sun through the breaks in the trees and clouds. It was very faint, but Inuyasha could see it. Barely, but it was there. At the corner of her mouth, on her left cheek, sat a slight scuff of pink that didn’t belong and wouldn’t seem to fade when the heat in her face settled. And, on her neck, most disconcerting of all, housed a thick, red and purple ring that curved over the front portion. The girl, whoever she was, had recently been roughed up. No wonder she was a little skittish.

“Sorry.” Kagome grimaced, uncurling her fingers and lowering her hands. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Inuyasha replied. “Are you okay?” And, he’d emphasized the word intentionally.

“I’m fine.” She said, giving a one-shouldered shrug. There was a moment of awkward silence where the two just stood there, and Kagome’s eyes bounced around, avoiding contact with his own. When they landed on her arrow in the tree, she figured she should just politely wrap things up here, collect it, and be on her merry way. “So, um, thanks. For your help.”

“Don’t mention it.” He muttered.

“Was he a friend of yours? You two seemed to know each other.”

“I knew him because he was a murderer, and he knew me because I’ve been on his ass for a while. It’d be kind of harsh if I just killed my friend without showing an ounce of remorse, don’t you think?” Inuyasha rebutted.

“That’s fair.” Kagome bobbed her head in agreement, regretting her choice of words before his own fully registered with her. “Wait, murderer?”

“Yes?” Inuyasha arched a brow quizzically. “Kid, what did you think he was gonna do with you?”

“I-I don’t know! I didn’t really think that far ahead of time! I only processed the danger!”

“That far ahead… wait, no - what is on the other side of danger?” Inuyasha asked, confused as all hell.

“Is that rhetorical?”

“No.”

“Well, harm, typically.”

The hanyou chuckled, almost defeatedly as his chest deflated. “Yes, and harm comes in all shapes and sizes, doesn’t it?”

“Okay, now that’s rhetorical.” Kagome deadpanned.

“Good job.” He slighted.

“Alright, well it’s been fun. Thanks for not letting me die. You’re a champ. You’re the M.V.P.. You are the man. I’ve gotta get going, so I’ll be sure to watch out for any other crazy murderers in the area.” Kagome presented a sarcastic, closed-lipped grin. “Speaking of which, are they common around here?”

“Don’t get out much, do you, Kid?”

“Hey, what’s with this ‘kid’ thing? Is this a common nickname you give strangers, or what? I’m not a child.”

“No, you’re not. Not at all. It just kind of came out, honestly. Though, now that I’m looking at you, you are puny.” He grinned, enjoying how easy it was to make her cheeks red all over again.

“Ex-excuse me?”

“Small.” Inuyasha clarified.

“I am not.”

“Okay.” He chuckled dismissively.

“Hey! I’m average height!”

“Please don’t yell. You’re voice gets all high pitched and breaks like a baby goat, and I’m sure it irritates your throat as much as it does my ears.”

Kagome stared at the man for a moment, wondering if he was trying to say all the wrongs things, or if he was just that witty and knew what he was doing. “You are really good at talking to people, did you know that?” She stated with satire, sauntering over toward the tree that harbored her arrow.

“So I’ve heard.” Inuyasha carelessly remarked. “Hey, thanks a lot, by the way.”

She spared him a peek over her shoulder, catching his tone, but rightfully not feeding into it. Directly, at least. “You’re welcome.”

He swallowed his huff, his annoyance beginning to grow. “No. Thanks a lot.”

“No need to repeat yourself; I caught your sarcasm the first time. But, I decided to take it as a thank you for using this arrow here to distract Hiten so you had an opening. Therefore, you’re welcome.”

“Oh, is that what you were trying to do?”

Kagome didn’t bother answering, pulling at the arrow that was lodged into the bark while balancing on the protruding roots. It was really stuck in there, so she tried to fidget with it a little to loosen up the grip.

“It’s because of that little stunt that I had to use my backlash wave. Now I know, being the simpleton that you are, you don’t know what that is, but I don’t really think I need to explain it. Go ahead and take a look around. Do you see Hiten?”

“Nope.” Kagome replied after not looking around, her tone a little more strained than usual as she continued to struggle with the arrow.

“Right. That’s because I killed him. More than that, really. I obliterated the mother fucker. He’s gone. No longer exists. Poof.” Inuyasha explained, using his fingers to gesture an explosion. “Thing was, and here’s the kicker, there was a bounty on his head. I may have been told ‘dead or alive,’ but either way, I usually need a body to show them so that I get my money. Again, do you see a body?”

Kagome exhaled heavily, aggravated, momentarily dropping her arms from her objective and turning around to face the man. “No, I do not.”

“You do not.” Inuyasha nodded, confirming.

“I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“Well, problem was, you didn’t listen to me and stay where I’d left you. I was doing just fine without your so-called help. Then you just had to pissed the guy off and he went into final attack mode. Are you putting two-and-two together here?”

“Oh, please. Such a macho man mentality. Face it, me shooting my arrow shut him up and stopped him from focusing on you. I hurried things along.”

“I wasn’t worried about getting things done quickly! I wanted them done right! Besides, if you weren’t waltzing around where you didn’t belong in the first place, things probably would have never escalated this way!”

“Key word: probably.” Kagome sneered, shrugging heedlessly. “That means, it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with your skills. Or, lack thereof.” She finished, turning back around to return to freeing her arrow.

Inuyasha stood there, astonished, blinking his golden eyes in befuddlement. “Oh, okay.” The hanyou said gruffly, fighting back his surprised laughter as he walked over to where she stood. He grabbed the body of the arrow, preventing her from succeeding at anything as he gave an arrogant grin.

“Careful! Don’t break it!”

“Aren’t you a little too - um - banged up to be so sassy?” Inuyasha asked, gesturing to her marks.

“First of all, I don’t think the two go hand-in-hand. Second, no. I’d say, if anything, that’s the perfect reason to be sassy.”

“Why? A little sore?” He asked patronizingly, the cocky smirk still prominent on his face.

Without missing a beat, Kagome looked him dead in the eyes and said, “Yeah. Much like your ego. And, it only took one comment. You men are so fragile.”

Ignoring his large hand, Kagome gave a few more good pulls to the arrow, genuinely impressed by how stuck it was. She hadn’t realized she’d used so much force in how quickly she’d had to move. From the corner of her eye, she could see his expression holding amusement, shock, his tongue gliding over his teeth as he silenced his laughter and swatted her fingers to stop her from tugging. In quick retaliation, Kagome slapped his hand even harder.

He pulled back, rubbing away the sting. “Crap! With reflexes like yours, I’m surprised you’re -“

“Stop talking about my bruises!” She snapped.

Inuyasha forfeited, pursing his lips and holding his hands up to concede.

With one last jerk, she finally got her arrow free, but she didn’t make any move to walk away, her mind stuck on what she may or may not look like to him. She suddenly felt self-conscious. “Does it look bad?” Kagome innocently asked.

Inuyasha’s face twisted incredulously at her one-eighty, his mouth remaining sealed as he dramatically shrugged in question.

She groaned a response, knowing exactly what he was criticizing her for, and turned away, hopping down from the large tree roots.

“You know, you’re a…” His voice trailed off as he pondered, letting her take the lead as he casually followed. “What’s the term I’d use for you?”

Oh, this was gonna be good. Kagome did an about face, her heel gliding in the dirt from her smooth shift, eyes half-lidded in annoyance, and fingers wriggling her arrow at her side. “I don’t know. What is the term you’d use for me?”

“Gutsy, that’s for sure.” Inuyasha commented. It wasn’t where he was initially going, but it would have been impossible to miss the girl’s gesture to warn him. “What? Do you think you’re tough because you’ve got a pointy stick?”

“I could take you.” She stated.

“Hah! Okay!”

Kagome merely smiled. She knew, and she knew well, that she only stood a chance if she was able to use her powers. Otherwise, no way in hell. She wasn’t the strongest brawler, and the guy was definitely cut. She was merely looking to antagonize his pride a bit. He liked to dish out some teasing, so she’d do it right back.

“You aren’t actually serious?” It seemed more of a question than a statement.

“I am.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you’ve seen what I’m working with.” He mentioned, gesturing to the sheathed sword on his hip. “Tell me, truthfully, do you still think your flimsy arrow can compare?”

“Yes.” Again, if she could use her abilities, it was the truth.

“You’re kidding.” Inuyasha said wryly.

“Not at the moment.”

“Then, if I may be so bold to ask, why didn’t you handle Hiten on your own back there? When I showed up, you were already locked and loaded. Hell, you even shot him in the chest. What was stopping you from finishing him off on your own? Why’d I have to be the one to seal the deal?”

Kagome shrugged arrogantly, matching his energy and maybe even upping it a smidge. “Why break my nails when you’re right there to break yours playing hero?”

All humor faded from Inuyasha’s face, his eyebrows furrowing with a hint of indignation as he studied the girl before him. He saved her ass, and she was challenging his ego. He let go of his bounty to rescue her, and she had the impertinence to say something as bitchy as that. If that was the game she wanted to play, then fine. But, he’d come out the winner.

Kagome knew the moment the words had come out of her mouth that she’d gone too far. And, when his expression shifted precariously, a chill legitimately raced down her spine and she lost the gall to hold eye contact. Foot in mouth. Foot in mouth.

“So, you want to be an ingrate, huh?” Inuyasha asked, his voice low.

“No, that’s not it. I said thank you, and I meant it. That just came out so wrong.” She weakly defended.

“How was that supposed to come out?”

“Not -“ She bit her tongue in hesitation, knowing there was no way her statement could have been perceived playfully. “Rude?”

“How so?” He interrogated. He enjoyed seeing her discomfort expand.

“Look, I see I’ve upset you, and that’s fair -“

“Yup.”

“But, I have a feeling that no matter how I explain it or how many apologies I give you, there’s no take-backs and you’re still gonna be mad. Am I right?”

“You are.”

“Alright, so I’m just gonna get going. Thanks, again.” Kagome found herself talking faster, nervous. She reached over her shoulder and dropped her arrow into its quiver, her hands having nothing to play with thereafter and only fidgeting with one another. “Um - okay, bye.”

“Hold it!” Inuyasha ordered. The girl halted stiffly. This thought had been on his mind since he'd analyzed her bruises. Where’d she get them? Why’d she get her ass handed to her? What’d she do to deserve it? There’s no way a girl like her would get stuck in an abusive relationship - not that he could imagine. It could be a possibility, but for some reason, he could only picture her dishing the beating right back. It could be a rocky household situation, but there were no visible signs of old bruises fading to back that up. Which meant, as far as he could presume, this was a recent and infrequent occurrence. Which brought him back full circle: what did she do? “Given how messed up you look, I’m guessing you did something bad and you’re on the run.”

Kagome’s brows furrowed uneasily, a frown pushing at her lips as she turned back around to him. “No.” It took effort not to let that come out as a question, her bemusement pronounced.

“I’m willing to bet there’s money hanging over your head.” He added.

“Then you’d be out some, because you’re wrong.”

“And, I’m supposed to believe you?”

“You should. Better than wasting your time, don’t you think?”

“I think I can determine that on my own.”

“Look, I got myself into some trouble, but it’s not as deep as you’re thinking.” She tried explaining.

“You got yourself into some trouble, you’re on the run, and even if there isn’t a bounty yet, I’m sure there will be one soon enough.”

“No! Really!” She could tell whatever she was saying was in one ear and out the other. How did she get here? Sure, she insulted him, but how did things escalate so dramatically in the span of just minutes? One moment he’s saving her, the next they’re bantering, and now he’s threatening her and she wasn’t sure what to do. “Demon’s came to my village and I stepped out -“

“Shut up.” He drawled, rolling his eyes. “I tried being nice, but you dug your own grave. If you didn’t talk shit, I’d have let you stroll right on out of here without a second thought. But, something tells me I shouldn’t do that.”

And, it was true. Even if she was telling the truth, which may be slim - it was hard to tell since her body language was wonky at the moment - his gut was telling him not to let her go.

“Seriously! Listen to me, I’m trying to tell you -“

“Are you going to give in, or am I going to have to get rough?”

“Neither!” She shouted brokenly, her frustration at its peak.

“Those were your only options, kid.” Inuyasha shook his head, the fingers of his right hand curling over the hilt of the sword on his left hip. Obviously a blade was unnecessary here; he wasn’t going to maim the girl. He was trying to scare her into submission. Nine times out of ten, it worked like a charm. Slowly, he pulled Tessaiga out of it’s sheath, the sharp sound like music to his ears, but to his dismay, as he presented the weapon in a power stance, the sword was thin, dull, aged, and untransformed.

Kagome would have been lying if she said she hadn’t become the least bit horrified when the man went to pull out his sword. There was no cause for things to be this way. There was no reason for her life to be on the line right now. She’d sucked in a bated breath, the muscles in her neck tensing as she frantically thought up her next move. The demonic energy she’d expected had never emerged, though. And, the sword she once remembered looking unreasonably large and heavy was now small, frail, worn, and didn’t even seem like it was sharp enough to cut paper.

She stared at the weapon confused, holding her breath as she glanced up to the silver-haired man’s face. His golden eyes were glued to the untransformed blade, his look of disturbed bewilderment telling her that she was right. This wasn’t normal nor predicted. And, Kagome wasn’t about to wait around to find out what was wrong.

“Bye.” She said fleetingly, absolutely booking it away from him.

Her feet moved as quickly as they could, arms pumping along her sides as she simultaneously balanced herself while she maneuvered around trees and entangling roots, and willed her body to go faster. Kagome heard him shouting for her, demanding her to stop, his voice not as far behind her as she’d have liked. He was pursuing, and she didn’t even bother wondering if she was capable of outrunning someone with demon blood. She pushed herself even harder, heading over a little slope and sliding half the way down as she lost her foundation, her voice cracking from the unintentional yelp she let out from the incidental shock. Hasty to regain her footing, Kagome continued to run, her lungs burning, heart pounding, and adrenaline racing even faster than she was.

No matter how badly her body protested, she wasn’t slowing. She wasn’t safe yet. Fight or flight was in full control, and a red, neon sign was blaring flight to her brain. It was the sound of oncoming stomps that terrified her further. It was the growls he emitted, the heavy breathing, his deep voice grunting as he caught up to her that had her mind racking wildly to try and come up with a last second escape plan.

Inuyasha reached for the girl, grabbing her by the arm and yanking them both to a stop, turning her entire body to slam against the rough bark of a tree. He used his own to pin her there, grabbing both of her wrists and securing them behind the small of her back. He held them with only one hand, using his other to grip her thick hair as she continued to struggle and try to wrestle her way free. The hanyou growled a warning, pressing his torso firmly against her, one of his knees pushed between her legs to prevent her from thrashing her hips back into his groin. She was breathing heavily, frantic, but was finally settling into submission, and he shoved her cheek a little further against the tree to really solidify that he was in control.

Why was it when she whimpered the smallest “ow,” he pulled back? Why was it, when she showed an ounce of pain, he didn’t like it? Especially being the bearer of it. Felt apologetic, even. Inuyasha found himself relaxing the grip he had on her hair, allowing her cheek to simply rest along the bark as her chest pumped air so heatedly that he felt the wheeze vibrating through even her bag.

“Hey, calm down. Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you.” He promised. He’d admit his tone wasn’t the gentlest, but it was impossible to present that after chasing the chick. She was stupidly nimble.

“Please. Please.” Kagome whispered between breaths, scared, frenzied. “Th-there’s no money. I - I swear.”

She was telling the truth.

“Why’d you run then?”

“You - please.” Kagome begged, her voice dying mid-word.

“Breathe. Come on, kid, breathe. Calm down.” He was substantially softer that time, easing a little more off of her so her chest could afford the deeper, slower expansion, while still maintaining control so she wouldn’t buck her hips back. Inuyasha was patient as he waited for her body to relax, her breathing coming more evenly, minutes passing but he didn’t mind. The last thing he needed was her passing out on him. She still shook in his hold, her bottom lip quivering, and he even noticed a tear fall from her eye, the salt displeasing his nose. She was legitimately panicked. While that was what he was initially going for, and this was unavoidable after she took off, he didn’t like it. Why? Why the fuck did it matter to him? Why was his stomach in knots and why was his chest unsteady? Inuyasha swallowed harshly, willing the unnatural symptoms to subside.

“There’s no money. I don’t have a bounty. You have it wrong.” Kagome tried again, more stable, though her abdomen rocked with a shudder from her still-prevalent anxiety.

“Why did you run?” He repeated.

“You threatened me.” She replied shakily. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

That was fair, and as soon as she’d said it, he realized the answer was painfully obvious. He didn’t give her much other choice. Still, his gut was telling him not to release her. He couldn’t pinpoint the reason, but he felt it deep. He continued on with the thought that even if there wasn’t any money yet, there may eventually be some.

“Are you on the run?”

“No.”

“Alright, look at me.” He said, spinning her around. She gasped at his speed, grunting as he pushed her back up against the tree, easily pinning her wrists above her head. Again, he only used one hand to keep them there, curling the fingers of his free hand to tilt her chin up to look at him. “What are you doing out here?”

Kagome found herself holding her breath, despite her lungs protests - having just gotten back their oxygen supply. She wasn’t expecting their close proximity, and she wasn’t expecting to be at a loss for words - which almost never happened. His amber eyes pinned her as adamantly as his body, observing her, seemingly glowing even though no light hit them from his position. Kagome willed herself to relax as much as possible in his grasp, allowing herself to breathe again as her lips parted to speak.

“I’m looking for someone.”

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#inuyasha #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fanfic #Inuyasha fic #inukag #inukag fanfiction #inukag fanfic #inukag fic #kagome #kagome higurashi #miroku #sango #sota #mama higurashi #monster #akitokihojo

[2-cute-4-school]

Evanescent

Group : NCT

Pairing : Na Jaemin x Reader (+ the rest of the Dreamies)

Warnings : blood, death, a few curses

Genre : fluff, angst 

Word count : ~6300

M.list

Life was such a cruel, sick joke. When people think about their teenage years it’s all about dumb high school crushes and sneaking out to parties to get drunk. It’s never been about killing, running and surviving. It shouldn’t be. They should think about how they’re going to pass that Chemistry test next week, not about running out of food. It wasn’t the case for the silent group of five kids hiding in the shadows.

Jaemin often swore he was a step away from losing his sanity. He sometimes thought it would have been easier to just give up, end his own suffering as not to give those brainless, disgusting creatures the satisfaction to rip him to shreds. His eyes shone with pure anger and hatred for the poor excuse he calls his life. He has been on the run for the past 3 years, ever since he was barely 17. He never got to experience real life. He didn’t get to debut with his friends at the school’s musical event or get his driver’s license. But what he regretted the most was not getting to tell his parents how much he loved them before this madness began.

So what kept him from ending it all? Maybe it was the warm eye smile Jeno would bless him with from time to time. Or Renjun and Donghyuck’s playful banter that would often light up the depressing mood that fell over them. But the one thing he knew for sure was that it was her all along.

It was her soft touch on his cheek when she reassured him, it was her firm grip on his hand when she got restless, it was her strong spirit that kept them all going through this hell and her brilliant mind which amazed the other 4 boys.

It was Y/N, Jaemin’s childhood sweetheart. They had been attached at the hip ever since they were in diapers. They were each other’s entire world, the center of their Universe. It’s always been like that, even when it wasn’t just the 2 of them anymore. They were all so different, but they fit together like pieces of a puzzle. They completed each other and brought out the best one from the other. And the other boys also cared for her in their own ways. Donghyuck was fiercely protective of her, he always had her back. Jeno has always been like an older brother, despite being the same age, offering her piggyback rides and the occasional bickering. Renjun was her advisor, reminding her she was only human in the end. And Jaemin... it was useless saying he would have done anything for her at any time of the day, no matter what.

“Jaemin!”

‘Huh?” the said boy raised his gaze to meet Renjun’s exasperated one.

“Were you even listening to what I was saying?”

Renjun didn’t need an answer to his question, it was already obvious. He sighed and repeated himself, knowing now he had the younger boy’s attention.

“We’re running out of food. We have to find the nearest form of civilization and restock.”

Jaemin stayed silent. He knew what that meant. They were going to encounter those ugly bastards again. He hated to admit it, but he was scared. The last time they approached a small town they barely got out of there in one piece. What if they weren’t going to be so lucky again? What if one of them was going to get left behind? No..no that couldn’t happen, he couldn’t let that happ - 

“Jaemin-ah?” a soft whisper came from the side. His head snapped towards Y/N, wide and alarmed, only to be met with deep orbs which only reflected calmness and slight concern. “It’s going to be alright”.

She could read him so easily, it was like he was an open book for her to read.

“I know, it’s just the usual worry.”

She sent him a small smile and moved closer to him. She leaned her head on his shoulder and interlaced their cold fingers. He slightly turned his head to leave a butterfly kiss on the crown of her head and he felt a million emotions running through him : love for the only light in his dark life, anger to the world for making them go through this and melancholy. Such a deep longing for the old days when they’d lay on a sofa in this same position, under the warm blankets. Jaemin hated that he could do nothing to give her a better life.

“Stop overthinking and let’s get some rest, we’ll need it” 

She griped his hand tighter for a moment, before she got up and moved to the couch where Donghyuck was already sprawled. Jaemin heard Y/N silently nudge over the boy and slip beside him with a creak from the wooden floor of the incredibly small but convenient cabin they found a few kilometers away from a village.

Only then did Jaemin realize just how tired he was. With a huff he walked to the mattress laid on the ground a threw himself on it beside a sleeping Jeno. He took a last look around the room to see Renjun dozing off on the armchair in a slouched position and the other two, lying knocked out on the sofa.

He took a deep breath before closing his eyes and slipping off into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bloody hell, Y/N!” 

Jaemin ran his fingers through his hair furiously. He was so frustrated he couldn’t even put it into words. The other guys were tense, angry and scared in their own ways.

“Look, guys, stop it, nothing happened”

“How can you just say that Y/N?! Are you even in your right mind?”

Renjun put a comforting hand on Jaemin’s shoulder, interrupting him.

“Look Y/N, I have to take Jaemin’s side this time. It’s not about what happened, it’s about what could have happened. And we both know it could have ended in a disaster.”

“I think we shouldn’t linger on this”

“Y/N stop! You’re being stubborn, you know we shouldn’t take this lightly” Donghyuck tried to reason with her. She sighed and lowered her head, avoiding everyone’s gazes.

“I..I’m sorry, okay?.. I’m sorry.. It was an accident.” Her voice was weak, almost a whisper. Jeno shuffled closer to her and linked their pinkies together as an act of reassurance. She tightened her grip on his finger and he could tell she was just as shaken up as the rest of them.

It really was an accident. But an accident that already ended one of their friend’s life almost a year go. He was a senior from their school, Mark. They were in the same group of friends and he was the one who always took care of them, even during this dark period of time in their life, after everything was switched up in the most sick and twisted way. Mark was their protector, their anchor, their lighthouse where they felt the safest. He was the reason their group stuck together through thick and thin and for a while after his shocking death it seemed like everything was about to fall apart even more than it already had.

No one really expected it. The most common answer to “Who do you think will survive this shit?” was always Mark. So it came as an even bigger disaster when it happened. How could their only hope vanish so fast, right before their eyes and at the hands of the creatures they swore to destroy?

Despite everything, he died a heroic death. He took his promise to protect his friends with him, six feet under with utmost honor. During a run for food, their younger friend, Chenle rushed to gather everything he could put his hands on. He didn’t bother to check the balcony above the box he was searching through in the small house’s yard they decided to loot. It was already too late to move out of the way when the undead fell right towards his from a few meters above. And Chenle wouldn’t have escaped if it wasn’t for Mark’s vigilant eye. He slammed into the younger boy, trying to get the both of them out of the way, but the creature had already latched onto the fabric of his hoodie. Mark kicked him with everything he had, using the bat he had found at the beginning of the apocalypse.

Even in the mild panic, Mark’s brain still worked logically as he sternly told Chenle to get the rest and get the hell away from the house. The Chinese boy trusted Mark with everything he had so he did as he was told, believing his senior must have had a plan, as he always had. Only when they were already too far to do anything did he realize just how much chaos they had caused and just how much unwanted attention they had attracted from the other brainless things around them. Only then did Chenle realize Mark’s only plan was to buy enough time for the others to get away. 

They returned to the damned house a few hours later, when the place was as empty as it was before everything happened. Everyone held onto their last glimmer of hope that Mark was fine. He had to be fine, right?... He wasn’t.

They found him in the same place he tried to fight, under the balcony. He was disfigured so badly it was almost impossible to recognize him, blood pooling everywhere, staining the once green grass into a sea of angry red. His signature bat was lying bloodied just a few centimeters away from his outstretched hand, as a last impulse of desperation a brink away from the terrifying darkness that was slowly and agonizingly swallowing him up.

Chenle’s knees bucked under the pressure of pure devastation. He could barely register Y/N dashing to the what was left of their older friend, throwing herself beside him and curling her fists in his ripped jacket, shaking his body and screaming in false hope.

“Mark! Mark Lee! Mark, stop this stupid joke! Mark! Oppa, wake up, this isn’t funny! WAKE UP!”

Donghyuck ran to her side, bitter tears running down his face, and wrapped his arms around her torso. He buried his face in her neck, trying to soothe her and move her away from the disturbing sight.

She collapsed on her elbows, her forehead touching the shining red grass below and slammed her fist against the ground, heart wrenching sobs violently shaking her body.

“No..no please...PLEASE...this can’t happen, this isn’t real, that’s it, isn it? I’m finally going crazy is that right? Right, oppa? Oppa? Mark...please”

She was gently picked up from the ground and in Jaemin’s warm arms. She could feel his body tremble as he held her head pressed to his shoulder. Still, her hand extended to where Mark laid now in Jeno’s unstable arms as the younger boy picked his senior up on their last trip together.

They buried him hours later in a field with heavy hearts and breaking souls. The 2 youngest were huddled up, using each other as a comfort blanket. Jaemin couldn’t watch the entire thing go down so he waited a little away crying as he heard his friends’ heart breaking murmurs of last goodbyes. Jeno helped bury Mark, even though he could barely sustain himself he insisted on doing everything right, out of gratefulness for everything the elder has done to them. Renjun tried to toughen up and just be there for everyone. Now he was the eldest one so he had to fill in Mark’s place as best as he could. It was what his hyung would have wanted. Donghyuck was simply heartbroken, he couldn’t understand how this had went down, how they could have just lost him, their best friend. Renjun had to unclench his fingers from around Mark’s hand, he just couldn’t let him go. Not now, not ever.

Y/N stayed glued to her spot beside his fresh grave until the others had to haul her up to keep moving. She sat there the entire time, with her knees to her chest, begging anyone and anything for something to happen, to bring her life support back. His death took a tool on her. She lost her joviality, the light in her eyes, gaining cruelty for everything other than her friends. Her sole purpose became their survival. 

Despite everyone’s efforts, the group fell apart, they just couldn’t function properly. And before they regained their rhythm it was already too late, as their group lessened and lessened. That’s how big Mark’s spot in their lives was.

And now, that they were about to lose someone else in a similar way drove them crazy. While passing through a garden, one of those creatures fell from the roof, right beside Y/N and attacking her. She barely got out in time.

The boys were shaken up to the core. If they had lost her, what would have happened? They would have lost everything. No one wanted to think about the ‘what if’s’.

Donghyuck could tell what she was thinking about. It wasn’t hard to guess. With the same thoughts in mind he approached her and caressed her head with gentle fingers.

“I’m sorry for yelling, we know it wasn’t your fault. Everyone’s just on edge and what just happened can’t be a repeat”

“I know” she looked up at him with glistening eyes. He hasn’t seen her so emotional since Mark’s death.

Renjun sighed and rubbed his temple with a shaking hand.

“Let’s just go to sleep for now. We need rest, especially Y/N. We’ll talk about this in the morning when everyone has calmed down a bit.”

They all nodded. Jaemin trudged to the other 3 standing and put a hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“Can I sleep on the couch tonight?” he whispered. Donghyuck understood the real question and nodded patting the girl’s head one more time and bidding them good night. Jeno kissed her head and also retreated to his sleeping arrangement.

Y/N kept her head low. Jaemin just couldn’t stand seeing her like that so he took her hand and slowly guided her to the couch, motioning for her to lay down first. She did and he followed her, but the moment he closed her eyes he could see and feel everything again. His blood freezing in his veins when seeing that monster on top of her and his Y/N struggling to avoid its sharp teeth, holding it back with everything she had. Everyone rushing to her aid and himself ripping it to pieces in a blinding wave of rage. Their run back to their little cabin and the haze that followed during the next half an hour. He was sure he was in shock. He could hardly believe he let this happen. But when thinking of it he didn’t see Y/N standing in front of them trying to keep herself calm. No, he saw her body torn up, a resembling image of Mark’s. And that terrified him, how close she was to that.

He flinched awake and turned his trembling body to face her. She was there, alive, breathing, with her back turned to him and her hair sprawled around the cushion under her head. At first he put a shy hand on her waist, just to feel her side rise and fall with her soft breaths. But then, his raging emotions and past turmoil overcame his rational mind and he wrapped himself around her, nuzzling his face in her shoulder, finally feeling at peace.

“Please Y/N, never again, okay? I..I need you, so stay by my side” And he fell asleep with his word barely leaving his mouth in a whisper.

Unknown to him, she gripped his hand back and caressed his knuckles with her thumb lovingly.

“I promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well fuck you”

The small flower slipped through the slight gap between Y/N’s fingertips, emitting a huff and a whispered curse from the frustrated girl. It just wouldn’t stick the right way and it frustrated her to no end. 

“Language, miss.” she heard an amused voice scold her from above.

She raised her head lazily and met eyes with Jaemin, who wore a smirk on his face. She hasn’t seen him so playful in a long time. She’s missed it.

“Shut up” Y/N retorted with fake annoyance.

Jaemin took a seat beside his best friend, watching Y/N’s nimble fingers trying to mold the flowers into a pretty crown. She had already done one, she had 4 more to go, including the one currently in her hands. She knew she didn’t have enough plants for all of them and she also knew the boys weren’t going to be happy with her reason to go out, but that was a problem for another time.

“What are you doing?” Jaemin asked as if it wasn’t obvious enough.

“Have you also gone blind after you lost all of your brain cells?”

“Ha ha,Y/N, very funny. The real question is why are you doing this?”

“Boredom. I had to find an occupation so I don’t go crazy. I think it would also make a great accessory for you guys”

“Fair enough, I’d look fabulous. When did you gather all these though?” He asked gesturing to the flowers laid beside her on the couch.

“Why so many questions? I just made a quick stop when I was returning from the lake with Renjunie”

He hummed and continued watching her work.

“Where have you learned to make these?”

She released an airy laugh at his oncoming questions and Jaemin couldn’t help but grin like a lovesick puppy at the sight of her so relaxed and happy. He would sell his soul to be able to keep her like that. If he could have bottled her laugh and got drunk from it every night, he would have done it with no hesitation.

“I learned it back in sophomore year for the kids at the center.”

Jaemin froze. He knew the children center she used to volunteer at during high school has been a sensitive topic for her. She loved the kids there so much and dedicated a large part of her time to them. Y/N was like a big sister for all of them and a sibling bond formed between all of them. The staff there always told her she was a miracle for the young children but Y/N always shook her head and concluded that they were her guardian angels and her time at the center had always been her healing time when she felt her happiest.

Jaemin’s grin dropped as he watched Y/N. She had a dreamy look on her face. A slight smile lingered on her lips and her eyes twinkled with adoration for the fond memories. Her mask was wearing off, breaking in tiny shards, baring the girl’s true feelings to Jaemin’s eyes for the first time since Mark’s death. 

He shifted closer to her and picked up a bright yellow flower, sticking it in her hair and smiling at her when she turned her head to look at him with wide surprised eyes.

“Yellow suits you”

She smiled back and continued her work with him stealing glances occasionally.

“This really sucks” She broke the silence after a while. She didn’t have to explain furthermore. Jaemin snorted.

“Tell me about it.”

“No but really. I had such high expectations of the future and this...this just isn’t it” Her voice lowered, just above a whisper.

“What is the future you dreamed of?”

“I wanted a family above all. I wanted to get married to the love of my life as cliche as that sounds. I wanted a big family with at least three kids and a few pets” she chuckled at the mere thought, him following along.

“But you do have a family. We are your family, aren’t we?”

She looked around and caught glimpses of Donghyuck and Jeno playing some dumb game they probably invented out of boredom and Renjun curled up on the armchair reading a book he had found when they first discovered the cabin. Y/N read the book too after Renjun first finished it. She found it boring, but Renjun insisted she just had no taste for the real gems out there. Y/N vaguely remembers this being the seventh time he’s absorbed in the pages of the worn out book. She could really find some resemblances between her dream family and what she already had, she definitely could.

“Now that you put it like that I guess you are..” 

Jaemin was lost in thoughts for a few moments before he quickly snatched a flower and turned his back to Y/N, ignoring her questions. Barely a minute later he faced her again with a weird expression on his face.

“Give me your hand.”

She watched him a little tentatively as she slowly extended her arm. He grabbed her and quickly slid something onto her ring finger. Y/N examined it and beamed when she saw a flower twisted into a ring adorning her slim finger.

“Aren’t you moving a little too fast?” She teased him.

His face reddened, the blush spreading to the tips of his ears.

“Oh shut up. I know it’s shitty and it can’t compare to what you actually want but it’s better than nothing, right?”

She stopped his rambling with a kiss on his cheek.

“It’s perfect. Thank you, Jaemin”

The color of his ears darkened even more as he shrunk in his seat, toying with his fingers and a coy smile spreading on his face. They both knew she wasn’t thanking him only for the stupid ring he had made. She thanked him for being by her side and not letting her lose herself between tunnels in the twisted labyrinth of her mind. She thanked him for loving her as she is.

“You’re welcome”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jeno!”

He barely turned around before a smaller body slammed into his, sending him face first into the couch, a weight falling on top of him, a contagious laugh echoing right beside his ear, making him mimic the delightful sound.

She gripped his waist, raising him slightly to cover herself from the oncoming laughing Jaemin.

“Help me, Jeno, he’s being mean again” Y/N whined, cowering behind Jeno’s broader body.

Jeno tried to contain his laugh as he raised his hand to stop Jaemin from reaching behind him and gripping Y/N’s squirming frame.

“No can do, young man. Duration and purpose of the visit.” He tried saying in the most serious tone he could come up with, lowering his voice.

“It’s tickling payback.” 

Jeno grinned at his younger friend’s words.

“Then count me in!” He exclaimed, twisting around and gripping the girl’s sides and wiggling his fingers, emitting the sound the boys loved the most in the world. Her laugh was so loud, a clear happiness brought in everyone’s hearts and a healing medicine for their souls. Jaemin leaped at the chance to tease his best friend alongside with his other best friend and for a while it seemed like everything was right, as if the world was as it should be.

Both boys tickled Y/N to no end, basking in the girl’s laugh, bringing smiles not only to their faces, but to the other two guys too who watched them fondly from the other side of the room.

“Yah, rascals! Leave the little bub alone!” Renjun playfully scolded, despite fully enjoying their little tickling session, distracting Jeno’s and Jaemin’s attention long enough for Y/N to escape their hold and dash to Renjun’s side. He engulfed her in a protective cocoon of his arms, glaring at the other boys.

“Aigoo, Renjunie, always had a soft spot for your precious princess am I right?” Donghyuck teased the older while sporting a shit-eating grin.

“Don’t be a little bitch, Hyuck-ah. Stop pretending you aren’t wrapped around her finger. You’re basically her puppy by now.”

“At least I’m cuddly and soft and she likes having me around.”

“Ah, stop spewing shit, being fat doesn’t make you more likeable.”

“What did you say?!”

“What you just heard, you fluffy pillow”

Y/N felt Renjun’s chest rumble with laughter as he fought with Donghyuck like elementary school girls or a pair of angry cats in a park lot, squishing her in the middle of them.

“Yah, let me out! Guys! Hey! Hyuck, what are you doing?” She tried to make her way out of their awkward, too energetic hug. Then, Donghyuck, wrapped his arms around her and snatched her away from Renjun, turning around and hiding her from the other’s view, smothering her.

“See, she only wants me.” He sassed, sticking his elbows backwards to softly push away Renjun, who was reaching out for the girl.

“Onlyyy meee~” He sang, kissing the top of her head. “Only your Hyuckie~” Another exaggerated *smooch* left on the crown of her head as he swayed her from side to side with Renjun laughing at the ridiculous scene Donghyuck was making and side eyeing Jaemin who was dreamily staring at the pair before Jeno slapped a hand on his shoulder.

“You know, you’re absolutely whipped, dude.” Jeno whispered in his ear, smirking at his friend’s poor try of covering his feelings.

“What? No, it’s just..I haven’t seen her like that for a while.”

“It’s nice isn’t it?”

“Of course it’s nice. It’s always nice to see a friend recovering and acting like themselves again.”

Jeno called bullshit.

“Dude don’t try this with me. You should just tell her, it’ll make things easier for everyone, honestly.”

“Tell her what?”

Tell her that she’s the most amazing person he’s ever met and that she doesn’t deserve any of this thrown into her face? That without her none of them would have made it this far, especially himself? That she’s the last thing he thinks about before falling asleep and the first when he wakes up? Tell her he’s madly, irrevocably in love with their guardian angel?

Jeno just sighed, as if being able to read Jaemin’s thoughts. He patted the younger’s shoulder, before running to Y/N and sweeping her out of Donghyuck’s arms and into his own, throwing himself on the armchair with her on top. He cuddled her, squeezing her tight to him, enjoying the long lost feeling of holding one of his most precious people so close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Keep calm and quiet, find the others whenever uneasiness sets in’

Jeno knew the rules better than anyone, but he couldn’t help the strange feeling drowning his heart in fear. He had no real reason to be afraid or alarm the others, he was just paranoid because of a bad feeling he’s been having since the beginning of their run in a nearby village for food.

He gripped his handgun tighter, his hearing heightened. He was walking carefully, barely putting any pressure as the soles of his shoes touched the creaky floor. His eyes darted around the living room he was in, checking the windows and the front door from time to time. There was really nothing out of the ordinary, but he was unusually tense that particular day.

“I will be damned if I let this madness get to my head” he muttered to himself while quickly looking through a drawer. A sigh left his lips as he straightened up after finding nothing useful. He rolled up his shoulders in hopes of relieving the tension that crumpled him like a piece of thin paper.

The others weren’t even far. Donghyuck was upstairs, rummaging through the bedrooms. Renjun was in the garage with Jaemin and Y/N was in the backyard. But everything was just so silent, it almost seemed like time has stopped. Jeno could almost hear the blood pumping through his veins and the irregular beating of his heart.

‘Maybe I should go find someone, better a coward than dead.”

Just as that thought invaded his head, he heard the faint sound of a door opening. The long moan it emitted froze Jeno’s entire body. He swiftly hid himself behind a corner, holding his breath. He prayed Donghyuck would remain silent. He could hear footsteps slowly walking towards his, the old floor slightly bending beneath the intruder. 

Jeno’s index finger hovered above the cold trigger of the gun, waiting for the right moment to make his move. He had to be quick and finish it with one shot. He couldn’t afford wasting any more bullets seeing as they were already low on ammo. The creaking was nearing his spot, it was so close now and Jeno was turning purple from the lack of oxygen. He even forgot how to breathe from the horrible waiting he had to endure. 

Just one more second.

The moment the last creak resounded against the dirty walls of the house, Jeno’s body swirled around and his finger pushed the trigger without hesitation. 

He froze in place. The breath he just inhaled was knocked out of him as his hold on his gun slackened, letting the heavy object fall to the floor. The deafening sound the shot created covered his broken cry as he rushed forward and dropped to his knees beside her fallen body.

He just shot his friend, his best friend. He shot Y/N.

“No no no, this can’t be happening! Y/N come on, I’m so sorry please!”

He couldn’t stop the salty tears trailing down his cheeks as he pressed his hands over the wound in her chest. She didn’t even have enough time to let out a scream or move out of the way. 

“Jeno, why..?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I-I just... I-”

“Jeno?” Renjun’s voice echoed.

“Renjun! Renjun, help! Help please!” Jeno begged his friend.

As soon as Renjun laid his eyes over Y/N he rushed forward towards them, crouching besides them and removing Jeno’s hands from the girl’s wound before quickly covering it himself. He was no specialist, but he knew enough to be able to tell that Y/N was in serious trouble.

“Fuck, what the fuck happened, Jeno?”

“I don’t know, I thought she was- I don’t know Renjunie, please just do something, please..” He cried in such a heartbreaking way that it brought tears to Renjun’s eyes too. Jeno carded his bloody hands through his hair and over his face in such a raw desperation. They couldn’t lose her. Not like this, not at all.

“Jaemin-ah...Where’s Jaemin?” Y/N barely got the words out. Even when going through such pain, she asked for Jaemin, as if she could take everything away and mend her in a blink. But he couldn’t.

“He’ll be here in a second, baby, just try to keep your eyes open, okay? Breathe in and out, follow me.”

Renjun leaned her head on one side as a thin stream of blood trailed out of her mouth. His entire body was shaking and his heart was clenching. Jeno was curled up, sobbing and Renjun was a moment away from knocking him out. Sounds of hurried steps followed by the backdoor opening barely switched Renjun’s attention from Y/N to the other two boys arriving at the scene.

Donghyuck froze as soon as he saw Y/N’s small body crumpled to the floor, her skin and lips becoming paler as every second passed and crimson blood staining her clothes and spreading across her chest. Her lips were parted as it became hard for her to breathe properly. Her eyes were slightly unfocused but somehow they calmed Renjun down, they anchored him down to Earth the same way they lulled everyone in an eerie sensation night after night as she listened to their worries and remembered the good old days together. They still held their warmth, even in those moments.

Something in Jaemin broke at the sight of Y/N. In a fraction of a second he pushed Jeno away and smothered Y/N’s hair out of her face while his other hand tightly gripped onto one of hers. His eyes barely looked over her wound for a second without retching his guts out. He looked into her eyes as if he found his world again with all of the stars that shined through the dark sky, as if he saw them again for the first time. But his face was contorted with hopelessness despite his try to mask it.

“Y/N, I’m here, you’ll be okay, do you hear me? Y/N!”

As if in a lost moment of sanity, her eyes found his and Jaemin felt like he found home. A warm home with no pain or sadness where he could be himself and love as hard as he could.

“Jaemin” She gasped out his name and it sounded like the last ounce of light in her life, saved by her hero, a lifeline keeping her from drowning before she could get rid of her main regret.

“Yes baby, I’m here. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere and neither are you ,hear me Y/N? You’re not leaving me, we didn’t come up to this point just so you can fucking give up” he chocked on his words as his voice broke under the pressure of the world, his world vanishing under his fingertips “You can’t Y/N. You can’t, please...”

He wanted to scream, to clench his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to watch the light leave her eyes. But he knew he couldn’t afford losing a second with her. 

“Oh God, no” 

Jaemin could hear Donghyuck’s whimpers and his begging for this to be only a cruel nightmare and Jeno’s sobs as he teared at his hair. He didn’t miss Renjun shaking his head in despair when he locked eyes with Donghyuck who collapsed a few feet away from them.

Y/N’s hand lifted slightly. It was barely a flinch, but Jaemin didn’t need anything more. He gripped her cold hand and brought it to his wet cheek as he gave her a weak smile. The corners of her lips curled weakly as another trail of blood left her lips. Jaemin had to choke back a sob as he leaned down, closer to his first and last love.

“I...love you” the silence was deafening, no one could move a muscle. Her half closed eyes moved from Jaemin’s cloudy ones and racked over the rest of her small family almost blissfully “..all..”

And that was all. Her eyes closed and her body fell limp. Their souls hit rock bottom, the bottom of the darkest and deepest oceans where hope had no way of growing and their nightmares became reality. Monsters were real and they ate away at them with such hunger it wasn’t in their power to stop them and neither did they have the motivation to try. They had no guardian angel for she had gone home, away from such cruelty.

“I love you. I love you more than a sunflower loves the sun, more than a bird loves its freedom, I just love you” 

Jaemin knew it was too late, far too late and his hidden confession fell on deaf ears, only the wind could hear his hopeless love and whisper it to the moon which would cry with him at night, They’d cry for their lost lover, one they couldn’t get back. She slipped through his fingers like sand and her warmth vanished, leaving him in a cold, lonely hell.

The next minutes were a blur, the way his mind went blank as he jumped at Jeno, letting out his anger on the boy who couldn’t feel anything anyway. The anger who was actually directed to himself for being a coward, for leaving such regret behind. The way Renjun gathered Y/N in his arms, cradling her like a mother to her child, almost like comforting her “It’s okay now, it’s over”, words which only comforted himself. The way Donghyuck found her flower ring in her pocket and shakily slipped it over her finger. She had her ring, a brutal irony to the broken promise that shattered in a million tiny pieces and pierced their hearts until there was nothing left of them.

The way home was silent, the longest journey and the last with their fallen angel. Jaemin insisted on carrying her all the way, despite his unstable form. He kept talking to her in a whisper, as if he was spilling his secrets hurriedly to his best friend before parting for a while.

Lowering her into her place of rest was exhausting. Exhausting for their numb souls, shells of what they used to be, shells in which the desperate echoes of the sea resounded with pleas of turning back time. Their tears left tracks which burned their skin with ashes of crushed wings.

Night came and they each battled their demons which slashed and screamed at them in their own minds, but Jaemin couldn’t. He couldn’t stay there. He couldn’t watch their home : the couch where they shared parts of themselves, the carpet where they laid surrounded by laughs, the window she always stared out, like a caged bird, because that’s what she felt like. A bird locked into a living nightmare, trapped with demons and lost children.

So he left. He packed a bag, in the silence of the night. He packed his memories and her only trace, a flower crown, wilted, resembling himself. Jaemin stopped by her. He crouched down and looked toward the sky where he knew she was finding her home, a proper one where all she felt was serenity. They would meet again, in a better world and with a better him. But for now, he was left alone, with the moon as his only listener. He traced the words engraved on the stone over her one last time before bidding goodbye to his lover.

“Only love can save us”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N's eyes snapped open. Her entire body felt so heavy, as if tons of bricks dragged her down. The lights in the room blinded her and she had to struggle to be able to open her eyes properly. It took a while before she was able to prop herself up on a shaky elbow, looking around the almost empty room.

She was surrounded by white. The walls were as monotone as the rhythmic beeps coming from the IV connected to her right arm. What was happening?

She remembered everything vividly, her life, with both good and bad moments, spent with her best friends. She could remember the butterflies fluttering in her stomach whenever Jaemin touched her or the warm feeling spreading through her chest at the mere thought of her boys. But she could also remember her blood soaking her clothes and her friends' hands as she took her last breath. Was everything just a dream turned into a nightmare?

A loud bang resounded around the room and the door snapped against the wall. Y/N flinched as the strength in her arm was barely enough to hold her upper body up. She barely looked up before she froze in place, confusion and shook seeping deep into her bones. A messy head of black hair slipped inside and towards her with almost inhumane speed as firm arms wrapped around her body and pressed her against his warm chest. It hardly registered in her brain who was hugging her so tightly, almost leaving Y/N out of breath. She inhaled his familiar scent, finally having the most desired feeling : that she was finally home.

Reality or not, she finally had him back, she finally had Mark back. She was so drunk in her happiness she didn't even hear him thanking any deity that the brought his Y/n back to him, along the lines letting out the sentence that would change their life forever.

"... you're finally out of the simulator"

#nct #nct angst #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct jaemin #jaemin #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #jaemin scenarios #nct au #nct dream au

[watch-grok-brainrot]

Striving for Humanity

Thanks to @merelhyn for 1) this post, 2) having a conversation with me about it at an ungodly hour, and 3) reading the story over before me posting. I shoved a lot of head canons into the story. I guess I’ll ramble at the end about some of them. I can’t think of any content warnings? If you see one I need to mention, please let me know so i can put it in the tags. :)

------ 

覆載群生仰至仁，發明萬物皆成善。

“Through the years, living things strive for humanity; Since their creation all things improve.” -- opening poem of Journey to the West by Wu ChengEn

Jiang Cheng felt a shift in his bed and suddenly Wei Ying’s voice sounded by his ears. “Jiang Cheng! Jiang Cheng! Wake up!”

“Go away. It’s too early,” he turned to go back to sleep. Why was Wei Ying awake at this time?

“But Jiang Ch~eng! It’s important! I think my golden core formed!” Wei Ying said in a hushed whisper as he shook the other boy. 

Jiang Cheng bolted up. “What? How? I work so much harder than you! Have you been practicing without telling me?”

“Not on purpose! I mean, I don’t know!” Wei Ying waved his hands defensively. Then he paused and added, contemplative and thoughtful, “Well, I guess when I’m swimming in the lake, part of me is thinking about how spiritual energies feel.The way the water covers my skin and how my spirit and meridians respond. I like the way the energies feel when I move through the water and when I direct my Qi flow into the water. When we eat Shijie’s soup, I like the warmth of it going down my throat and I imagine the calming spirit from the soup seeping into me. I think I’m always looking for how our Qi interacts with us. Do you not do that? I just assumed you did.” 

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened. He spent all his free time working on his spiritual energy but he definitely didn’t work on it while eating or playing or swimming. Wei Ying’s approach made so much sense! If only he shared earlier. Annoyed, he punched Wei Ying in the chest, “What? No! I’m too busy trying to keep you from getting into trouble! And I can’t think over your incessant chatter anyway!”

Wei Ying allowed himself to flop backwards from the punch. “Do you want to feel for it, Jiang Cheng? I want to see if you can tell I’ve changed.” He offers his wrist to the other boy. 

Jiang Cheng reached out and set his middle three fingers on Wei Ying’s wrist. He found the other boy’s pulse and followed the energy flow up. Sure enough, there was a small seed in the center of Wei Ying’s chest. It pulsated in synchrony with Wei Ying’s heartbeat, sending out small waves of energy. Jiang Cheng withdrew his hand, sighing. 

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Ying said, excited. “If I got mine, I’m sure you’ll end up with yours in a few days! You’re never actually behind. Not when it matters. And plus, you work so much harder than I do!”

Jiang Cheng scoffed. “I know I do. It doesn’t make sense that you get everything first and you seem to be slightly better than me.”

“Don’t be jealous! It’s just because I got used to thinking on my feet on the streets!” Wei Ying said, trying to diffuse Jiang Cheng’s jealousy and insecurities. “It’s not like a day or two will matter in the long run anyway. It’s so tiny right now. It’s about the size of a lotus seed, I’d say. Maybe when yours form it’ll be the size of our spirit bell! And if you form yours in the next five days, you’d still have gotten a golden core at a younger age than me. I am your Shi-ge for something, remember? ”

Jiang Cheng pushed Wei Ying off the bed. “Well, Shi-ge, I guess you’ll have to help me get mine soon! Let’s go train!”

He jumped out of bed, stretched briefly, and ran into the courtyard. Wei Ying quickly followed.  

~~

Seven days later, Jiang Cheng woke up with a golden core. The two of them immediately found Jiang Fengmian to ask for courtesy names and swords. 

“Dad! I have a golden core!” Jiang Cheng yelled down the hallways of Lotus Pier.

“Uncle Jiang! We both have golden cores!” Wei Ying’s voice joined in. 

Jiang Fengmian put down his brush and looked up from his work. “Come here, let me feel.” Both boys rushed up and offered their wrists. He tested their cores and found two small lotus seeds beating with youthful vigor. He smiled. “Very good.”

“So how do we pick a courtesy name? And what do we need to do to get a sword?” Wei Ying asked, words tumbling from his mouth without pause. “Do we have to find the materials? Do we have to forge it ourselves? Is there a trial or a test? Will we have to infuse it with energy from our golden core before it can be forged?”

Jiang Fengmian placed a hand on Wei Ying’s head to calm the boy. Then he placed his other hand on Jiang Cheng’s head and said, “Per Jiang family traditions, you must determine what is most true for yourself. Pick names and sword components from that. The best swords develop spirits. It would be wise to give them a vessel that resonates with your morals and your identity. We can pick your courtesy names after your swords are forged. Now go, and present something for me tomorrow.” 

Both boys nodded solemnly, gave each other a grin, and ran out of Jiang Fengmian’s study.

~~

After meeting with Jiang Fengmian, Jiang Cheng ran to tell Yu Ziyuan his news. Wei Ying, not wanting to incur the woman’s wrath, decided to take a walk instead, his Uncle Jiang’s words echoing in his ears. He had a lot to think about. 

Wei Ying’s father was a servant to Uncle Jiang. A close friend, but still a servant. He had no status. And Wei Ying’s mother was as elusive as her name indicated. He never got any stories about her, though he asked. Where, then, was their child’s identity rooted? How, from a lack of identity, can Wei Ying figure out the sort of vessel that would fit his sword? 

Lost in thought, Wei Ying wandered out of Lotus Pier grounds. His feet carried him to the first tree he climbed after arriving at Yunmeng. Perhaps only a couple decades old, the tree stood in a clearing. Wei Ying walked up and put his hand on the tree, “Hey old friend. I’m surprised I’m here again. I don’t have anything sad to say to you today. I guess I’m just here to think.” He walked around the tree a few times, fingers trailing along on the trunk.

You came to me that day. I realized, when you touched me, that you had changed. As you walked around me and spoke to me, I knew you would leave me one day. You who I’ve always known. 

Wei Ying grabbed onto the lower branches and pulled himself up. The large leaves batted him in the face. Wei Ying laughed and climbed higher. A few minutes later, he had gone as far as he was willing to climb. The leaves did a good job of hiding him but he could see out and watch Yunmeng. He sat down and leaned against the main branch. The familiar shape of the boughs brought back familiar feelings.

Your tears were what woke me. I heard you cry and tasted your anxiety and fear. I watched you fall. I was powerless to protect you. After you and the larger child left, the blood you spilt seeped down and I took it in. The earth did not deserve any of you. 

This was the first tree that he had climbed when he arrived at Yunmeng. That was the night he became friends with Jiang Cheng. That was the night he first tasted Shijie’s Lotus Root and Pork Rib soup. 

I watched you grow, your spirit bright and strong. Your laughter felt like sunlight. It grew my spirit as sunlight grew my body. Your cries hurt like passing storms. But weathering them made my spirit stronger. I swore to shelter you. 

This tree has been his safe haven when Madam Yu got mad, when local dogs chased him, when he wished he could remember more about his parents. He remembered climbing the tree, hiding in the tree, crying in the tree, and falling from the tree when he inevitably fell asleep.

You fed me, unknowingly. I drank in your tears. From them, I learned of human suffering. From them, I understood loneliness, insecurity, and pain. How does one so small feel so much?

Wei Ying put his hand on the tree and channeled some of his spiritual energy into the main branch. “You’re as much part of me as you’re part of Yunmeng, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’ve been here with me through everything." 

Either by his words or by sheer coincidence, he heard a crack and saw a lower branch about the thickness of his upper arm break and fall to the ground. His eyes lit up and he patted the trunk twice. “Of course, you and I are the same here. Thank you old friend.”

I could not tell you not to go. So I did what I could. I went with you.

Wei Ying climbed down and picked up the branch. It was about a meter and a half long and four to five fingers width in diameter. The break was surprisingly smooth and the wood was much less wet than he expected. He smiled. This is exactly what he hoped to find.

~~

Jiang Cheng presented Jiang Fengmian with four aspects for his sword design: two metal sculptures, one of a snake, one of a toad, a jar with five centipedes, and a jar of purple pigment. “Father, I present to you the elements for my sword. First, the purple is Yunmeng. My future responsibility and my family. The other three objects represent three of the five poisons. As I am the son of Mother, the Purple Spider, and you, the Water Scorpion, I thought it would be only fitting for me to take the other three. I come from you, I hope to take the best of you two and become more. Furthermore, it will only do me good to remember the three poisons of Buddihst teachings. Calling my sword Sandu will remind me of both my roots and my faults.”

Jiang Fengmian nodded approvingly and Jiang Cheng beamed. Jiang Fengmian then turned to Wei Ying. 

“A-Ying, what did you choose and why?”       

Wei Ying thought about Jiang Fengmian’s question and offered two answers. “I chose wood because it represents what you have done for me. Prior to being taken in, I was but 不材之木，無所可用 (wood that cannot be crafted, useless). Your raising me made me what I am today. I want to have a wooden sheath and hilt to remember from whence I came. I also believe trees, like lotuses, reflect the Yunmeng Jiang motto. 禽獸固有群矣，樹木固有立矣 (birds and beasts gather in flocks and herds; the trees stand in place). Trees know their lines and what they will bend to and what they will weather. We also know our moral lines and stand by them. Holding a sword made of such, I hope to do the same.”

“What about its name?” Jiang Fengmian prompted. 

Wei Ying fell silent. In his head dozens of names flew by. He dismissed all of them as unworthy of his sword. Finally, Wei Ying looked up and blurted “Suibian. Whatever you want to call it, Uncle Jiang. Suibian. I defer to your wisdom.”

Suibian. Whatever. These two characters that tumbled from your lips I knew to be truer than anything anyone else could say. I wanted no other name. It reflected your spirit. It reflected my will. How could you suggest anyone else try to name me anything else?

~~

As my body plunged into fire, I clung onto your words. Whatever. I insist on whatever. The flames roared around me, trying to force me docile. I screamed back my desires. I have will! I choose this! Finally the flames yielded and I molded them for my own use. I will be your whatever, as long as you let me stay by your side.

When the swords left the forge, both boys eagerly grabbed their weapon. 

Jiang Cheng’s Sandu held the poisonous motifs -- snakes intertwined to form the cross guards and a toad sat atop its hilt. The five entangled centipedes were embedded in Sandu’s heart. The sheath’s Yunmeng-purple surface displayed a snake skin texture. The sword epitomized a deadly elegance befitting the Yunmeng heir. 

Wei Ying’s sword was a masterpiece of intertwined metal and wood. The hilt seemed to be of plain wood, yet it conformed to Wei Ying’s grip as if it were whittled for that sole purpose. The metal rippled around the sheath, wrapping around the wood like the waters of Yunmeng wrapping around Lotus Pier. Upon the wood of the sheath were engraved the characters 随便 (Suibian.) 

---

Notes:  

1)  So, per traditional chinese medicine, the spider is not one of the five poisons. There’s a salamander/lizard instead. I believe it has to do with what you use to make extracts/tonics. However, in many Wuxia novels, the reptile is replaced with spider... and for my motif, i went with the spider. CQL is a very wuxia heavy xianxia show anyway. :)  

2) We know NOTHING about the parents so i made up the thing about Jiang Fengmian’s moniker. It sounded cool to me. That way he gets to be a poison. It rounded out 5 with Sandu and JC’s sense of family and duty. The water thing was just being from Yunmeng. 

3) Per CQL aesthetics, the golden core is separate from the dantian that Wuxia talks about. I’m making that assumption here.

4) Once i learned courtesy names were given historically at a later age, it really bothered me. Since i figured it’s a coming of age thing, I started headcanoning courtesy names were given at the same time as when the golden core formed. That would explain why wwx, jc, lwj etc have courtesy names so young. 

5) If you paid attention to CQL, you’ll know i framed the tree as a young Yao to start and then it shoved its spirit into the branch which i guess would make it a Guai. I don’t know if that even works... but if monsters can eat spiritual cognition, what’s to say wwx’s tears etc didn’t wake up a little creature. It would explain Suibian’s loyalty that @merelhyn referred to in her post. If the wood/tree imprinted on WWX even before it became Suibian... then of course it would seal itself and of course it would have the words carved even if WWX wasn’t a ancient cultivator. 

6) I really like the idea of WWX’s bendy flexible brain just finding ways to cultivate 24/7. I wanted to share it so tada. you get that here too.

Ok. that’s it. oooof. if you’ve stayed here this long, thank you for reading! <3  

#i wrote from the perspective of a tree for this fic #i really don't think i would have ever needed to do that #what this fandom does to me #wwx is known to sleep in late and go out swimming instead of working #my fic #gonna try timezone self reblogs for this #feels weird but oh well #suibian #wei wuxian #wei ying #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #sandu #merelhyn #cql #mdzs #the untamed #the untamed 陈情令 #therabbitholerunsdeep #headcanon #fan fiction #chen qing ling #mo dao zu shi

[jessefandomunited]

Alternate reality (part 2)

spencer reid X OC Piper

….

I woke up early still curled up next to Spencer, I smiled at his sleeping form and decided I needed to walk around here to test the waters. I transported home first to get what I called my ass kicking outfit on over sized t shirt black, shorts, fishnets, boots,  and my snap-back. I warped onto the street outside Spencer's apartment. I felt bad for just up and leaving but I really needed to scope out the town , it was  Zugzwang today and If something went wrong i’d be in grave danger. I could just skip it but I had a bad feeling something terrible would happen regardless, I just needed to find out what it was first. “ Excuse me miss can you,” I jumped at the sound of a man asking me a question. He looked innocent enough but I didn’t trust anyone in this show. I backed up and went the other way keeping him in my peripherals and that’s when everything went dark.

I came to in a poorly lit shack it wasn’t an apartment like where Maeve was shot in but I still wasn’t very hopeful. I tried to grab for my watch but I noticed it was gone, panic set in and I quickly looked around the area. There wasn’t much there was a door that was bolted shut, no windows but a single crack that filled the room with an eairy glow . I seemed to be ducktape handcuffed to a wooden beam that was in the center of the room and finally there seemed to be a table that once I eased my way to my feet I saw a tone of sharp objects including my watch. I sighed in relief ,i just needed to find a way to get that back and i’d be out of here. The door suddenly swung open and tall lumberjack looking man walked in with an arm full of chopped wood. “ Good, you’re awake, I wondered if I hit you too hard,” He said chuckling to himself. “ Well I am doing just phenomenal,” I said sarcastically, “ I absolutely love surprises.” He turned and fixed me with a puzzled yet angry glare, “why aren’t you screaming?” “ do you want the long or short answer, long, good . You were smart enough to distract me with the one guy before making your attack, i’m assuming that guy works with you. You kidnap girls or maybe you watched me , maybe you know who I am, though i’m not sure about that. You take them somewhere secluded like a farm or the woods or a plot of extensive land you happen to own so even if they do scream no one will hear them. But listen to me and listen to me good, i’m tougher, stronger and smarter than you were bargaining for. I’m sure you can tell by the bruises I have all over me I do love a good fight, but only when they are fair. I don’t expect you to give me a fair fight though because you’re a coward and judging by your extensive selection of knives you’re probably impotent too am. I . getting. Warm?” My chest was heaving , I was already done with this guy. He looked stunned, then furious. “ YOU BITCH,” He yelled and punched square in the jaw. I slid back down to the floor  and moved my jaw around, “ not bad , not bad at all.” He had fire in his eye, “ you’re mine now, whatever you think now, you will be trained, and I like a good challenge, but i’ll need to mark you first.”  I shook my head, “ i’d rather you not.” He chuckled and went behind a partition I didn’t even know was there. My stomach dropped and I allowed myself some time to be terrified and yank at my bonds. Then I composed myself and began to profile him. He seemed to want to keep girls as pets and once they were fully “ trained “ he’d kill them or do who knows what with them. I couldn’t remember any case like this in the episodes that aired, but if I wanted to keep him interested enough to keep me i’d have to not be too submissive right away. He said he likes a fight, but If I go too overboard he might think i’m not worth the trouble and kill me anyways. So a little sour patch kids action was in order ,sour then a hint of sweet before right back to sour and continue till Spencer comes to the rescue. He had to come, he just had to. “ You know the other girls were quite easy to subdue ,” I heard him reminisce, “ they practically killed themselves at the end, and i’m sure you will be no different you’ll just need some extra correcting.” “ good luck with that really, I hope that all goes super well for you,” I spat. I heard a bang which made me jump. He slowly walked back into the room holding a glowing red rod with a circle on top , “ as I said, I need to mark my prizes first .” I shook my head, “ get that thing away from me I don’t want anything to do with that.” “ i’m gonna put it right there on your stomach,” He chuckled I slowly got to my feet and tried to maneuver my way around the pole but he grabbed my arms and pulled them painfully up behind my bad till I fell to my knees , gritting my teeth . He kicked me back against the beam making my vision blur and before I knew what was happening he yanked up my shirt and pressed the red hot brand into my skin. I refused to cry out and bit my lip instead till I tasted blood. I gasped and realized that the rod was gone. “ I’m impressed so far,” He said in a condescending way, “ really.” I worked up a gob of spit and blood and aimed it at his shoe, bullseye. He glared at me and kicked me right where he had just branded me. “ SON OF A BITCH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE BAU COMES HERE AND NAILS YOUR ASS TO THE GROUND, THAT’S RIGHT, DEATH ROW BOY,” I was so mad at this guy I couldn’t keep it to just another snide comment, and I wanted to get some emotions out. “ The BAU you say,” He hummed placing the brand on the table, “ I remember them well, they caught a few friends of mine, they were incredibly artists, now it’s just me. You know i’ve never broadcast one of my shows before and I feel like you are the perfect one to do that with hu?Do you have some good friends there, maybe a boyfriend?” “ You don’t know anything,” I hissed. His smile widened , “ a boyfriend, i’m sure of it. I’m sure he’ll love this I usually only film the deaths but the process will be all the more delicious.” He went over to the patrician again and I began to panic, I couldn’t let Spencer watch me like this after what I told him about Maeve I just couldn’t. “ he came back with a chair and a laptop and set it next to the door so it took in the whole room. The webpage seemed like a normal streaming platform with a chat but she doubted it was anything innocent. He grabbed a white face mask that was sitting on the table and put it on. “ Wow , massive improvement really,” I snapped, “ you definitely weren’t doing yourself any favors with that ugly mug of yours.”He turned around quickly and punched me again. “ tell me your friends email at the BAU,” He whispered gruffly. On one hand I didn’t want Spencer to worry but on the other I could probably get a message to them once I learned enough. I couldn’t make it easy on him though. “ go to HELL,” I growled. He punched me again and I tried my best to stay upright but he pushed my face into the filthy wood floor, “ email, now.” I slowly recited Garcia's email through clenched teeth. “If I don’t get an email back in an hour, we are going to have to have another talk,” He said. “ I like listening to people taking when someone is saying something interesting but you’ve said absolutely nothing of value this entire time and I am sure the chat agrees,” I laughed . He pressed the send button with quite a lot of force and began talking to the camera, “ now I know this isn’t a normal video typically I just show the results of my work, but this fine young lady is just the perfect example of an ill trained woman.” “ WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT IF ANYONE IS UNTRAINED IT’S YOU BITCH,” I hollered with a smug grin. He shook his head, “ it’s time to begin.” He got up and went to the table and grabbed a collar with an electronic devise on it, a shock collar. “ Come here dear.” “ Call me dear again and I will make sure I vomit in your direction,” I fumed trying to move far away from him. “ Hey if you guys are watching please please don’t let a certain genius watch, please,” I begged. A crooked smile grew on his face , “ oh, is that him?” “ Shut UP,” I seethed . He grabbed me by the neck and lifted me off the floor. I gasped for air and kicked my bound feet uselessly I couldn’t do anything . I gasped and coughed and that was when he dropped me. I had no strength and he put on the collar with ease . “ I let you win that round,” I coughed. He picked up the remote, “ sure you did.” He pressed a button and I felt the shock run through my entire body. I didn’t scream but I did hit my head on the beam again. Come on guys hurry.

#spencer x oc #spencer reid #criminal minds

[100storiesin2020]

a Chainsaw in Fox Tower: Chapter 5

Ronan watched Adam sleep from the corner of his eye as he drove. Adam had spent much of his time catching up on lost sleep at the Barns this summer, and had developed a habit of falling asleep at any chance he got. Ronan figured that years of sleepless nights would take years to catch up on. He didn’t mind it, really. Adam was so beautiful asleep, with those high cheekbones and slender fingers, almost delicate and ethereal. How Ronan had won a love from such a man, he still wasn’t sure, and he was afraid, sometimes, that it would burn him alive.

Ronan nudged him as they passed the road sign for Palmetto. Adam opened his eyes, and looked at Ronan, and it was new all over again.

This love would burn him, all right, but he didn’t mind the flames.

“We’re almost there,” Adam observed, looking out the window. Campus was just off the freeway, and the next exit took them straight to it. Fox Tower was only a few turns away. They arrived, pulling into a parking spot next to the Pig as Gansey unloaded boxes. He looked up, smiling as they got out. 

“Parrish! Lynch! You’re just in time!” Gansey said. “Blue is on her way down to help us, since she is already moved in.”

“Waiting for her to come do the heavy lifting for you?” Ronan jabbed. Adam laughed as Gansey pouted.

“I can do my own heavy lifting, thank you! I was hoping she would help me decorate the dorm.”

“What do you mean, help /you/ decorate the dorm?” Ronan asked. 

“What do you mean?” Gansey looked very confused.

Adam gave him a stern look and answered the question. “Monmouth was yours to decorate. Fox Tower is ours. That means we get as much say in decorating as you do.” Gansey opened his mouth and Adam cut him off. “We do this together, as equals.”

Gansey nodded slowly. Considering the conversation over, Ronan moved to the backseat and unbuckled Chainsaw from her harness. She had been surprisingly quiet on the drive over, but that was never a guarantee for her, and so Ronan kept her tied to the seatbelt to prevent any road incidents sparked by a flying bird in the vehicle.

Chainsaw immediately took the air, calling /Kerah, kerah/ as she began to explore her new surroundings. After a few quick laps around the tower, she settled on Ronan’s shoulder just as the front door of the Tower opened, revealing Blue.

Blue walked over to them. /Walking/ wasn’t something that Ronan would often describe Blue as doing. Generally she was /pacing/, or /striding/, or /stalking/. Walking was a bit too tame for her. Something had upset her, but drawing attention to it was the worst way to get information out of her. Also, it would ruin Ronan’s terrifying image.

“Hey, maggot, come to make yourself useful?” She laughed as he handed her the largest box from Gansey’s trunk. She was so small she couldn’t see over the top of it, but she hefted it like it was nothing.

“Is that the best you’ve got, asshole?” There. Blue was back to herself, at least for a little bit. Ronan gave her a ferocious grin as he put another box on top of the one she was already carrying.

Adam stacked two of the smaller boxes and picked them up. They were full of books and probably the heaviest things there. “Don’t hurt yourself, Parrish,” Ronan drawled. 

Adam just gave him that /look/ and turned to Blue. “You’ve been here a bit, can you lead the way?”

As they started into Fox Tower, Adam called back. “Grab the small box first, Lynch!”

Ronan growled and put the suitcase back, grabbing the small box instead. 

“Why does it matter?” asked Gansey. “Isn’t it all going upstairs anyway?”

Ronan didn’t bother replying. He hauled the box of dreamstuff into the Tower and up the stairs behind Blue and Adam, Gansey in tow with suitcases and Chainsaw still on his shoulder. Blue was telling Adam about how she had decorated her part of the room, and some of her observations of the new teammates. He tuned it out, concentrating instead on the muscles in Adam’s back, his soft hair and quiet laughter. As they arrived at the right room, Blue pointed out her room just two doors down. They opened the door (Gansey had handed Blue they key) and walked into a very blank living room. As Gansey closed the door behind them, Ronan shoved his small box into Adam’s recently-vacated arms. “Here’s your precious plants, Parrish. I need a nap.” Adam looked at him, head slightly tilted to one side. A silent question. He sneered back in a silent answer and continued on his way. Now was the true test of the Palmetto leyline, and he needed to do it alone.

Ronan didn’t bother to shut the door to the bedroom. Chainsaw hopped from his shoulder to the bedpost, and then started to explore the room. There was a set of bunk beds and one lone bed on the other side of the room. He took the lone bed, knowing it was the safest option should he dream something unintentional. He laid down and relaxed as he heard Adam and Gansey arguing about where stuff should be placed in the living room.

“Do we really need so many plants, Adam? They take up so much space.”

“They’re more useful than your Glendower papers are now,” Adam replied. Fuck, Ronan liked this confident version of Adam. “Also, if you brought your little Henrietta please do NOT put it near the window, I need that spot.”

“Oh no, Gansey,” Blue laughed. “Where are you going to put little Henrietta?”

“I left it at Monmouth, Jane.”

“Oh thank god,” Adam and Blue said in chorus. Ronan drifted to sleep to faint chirps of /kerah/ as they started to squabble over how the cupboards would be arranged.

He didn’t dream of a forest today. He was standing on a short clif, looking down at a fast-moving river. The other bank of the river was a flat plain, giving a good view of the many switchbacks and curves in the more distant parts of the river. The cliff went all along this edge, but it was not sheer, and stout trees grew out of the side of it. Ronan walked along the cliff until he came to a dip, an almost-trail, leading down to the river, and descended.

The water changed as he approached, not uncommon for a dream. It went from a deep greenish blue to completely transparent, as if there was no water at all. Ronan picked up a rock and launched it into the river. It splashed, and ripples of silver spread back to the edge on which he stood. 

This was not Cabeswater, but it had the same feeling of home, and Ronan knew what he needed to do.

He took a step.

The water was warm and soothing, cleansing his feet. He didn’t have shoes anymore, which was as it should be. He took more steps, the water remaining clear as ever, now without even ripples to distort the riverbed below him. He whispered to the water, /show me what I need. Something for Blue. Something to make this home for her./ He took another step, and then he saw it below him in the river. It was perfect. He dove in a pried it from underneath a rock, then sat down on the riverbed to look at it. Breathing was not an issue here.

He woke, frozen to his bed as always. He could feel the smooth wood of a picture frame beneath his fingers. Fuck, he was cold. He’d forgotten to get out of the water before waking himself up, and he was soaked to the bone. Even his socks were wet, though his shoes were dry. Go figure.

He slammed his feet onto the floor and stomped back to the living room. He saw everyone freeze and turn towards him as he entered. Adam had his plants spread in the various corners, and Blue had set up a trellis so the viney one could stretch itself across the wall. Gansey was putting pots in the cupboard, and Ronan noted that they were a mix of Adam’s shitty stuff from thrift stores and new stuff which Gansey had obviously procured. He would have to go through the kitchen later and see what was missing so he could dream it up.

“Catch, maggot.” He tossed the picture at her head and stomped off to the bathroom to take a warm shower. Fuck, he was going to have to be careful to dry off if he ended up dreaming the river again.

*****

Blue caught the flying object out of reflex as Ronan stomped off. The bathroom door slammed shut behind him. Turning to the others, she asked, “Do you think the leyline is strong enough for him?”

Adam smiled softly, still looking at the space Ronan had just occupied. “I think if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t have had that for you.” He eyed the object in her hand.

“I’m rather concerned about him being soaking wet,” Gansey interjected.

Adam shrugged. “He was probably underwater when he woke himself up. It’s happened before, though rarely. It always pisses him off.”

Blue was delighted. “And you would know this, how, exactly?”

Adam glared at her. “What did he give you?” he asked, ignoring the question.

Oh, right. Blue looked at the thing she had caught. It was a picture in a frame that felt wooden under her fingers but seemed to actually be made of silver. It seemed to be a traditional photo, at first, but then it was an oil painting, and then watercolor, before shifting to a pencil sketch and back to a photo. It featured her and all her Raven boys. She was in the center, with Noah on one side, arm over her shoulder, and Gansey on the other side holding her hand. Beyond Gansey was Henry striking a wild dance pose. Adam and Ronan were on the other side of Noah, standing shoulder to shoulder and leaning on each other a bit. Behind them was the Pig, and beyond it was Cabeswater. It was perfect.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at Noah. She missed him so much.

At Gansey’s questioning look, she handed it over. Adam peered at it over his shoulder, and they were both obviously touched.

Gansey stared at it a little too long, transfixed. The smell of warm earth and leaves filled the room, and Blue saw shadows of tree branches in the corners of her vision. Gansey was still as a statue, looking very /otherly/ at that moment.

“Earth to Gansey,” Adam said, plucking the picture from his fingers, and the tree branches seemed to /snap/ away as Gansey came back to himself.

“Oh, my apologies,” he said. “When are we, Jane?”

“It’s our first day in Palmetto, it’s 4 o’clock, and we should probably start making our way to the court for our first official team meeting.”

Gansey nodded. "Then we will go as soon as Ronan joins us."

#a chainsaw in fox tower #all for the game #the raven cycle #aftg #TRC #pynch #chapter 5 #blue and ronan are bros

[fidothefinch]

Whumptober, Day 26: Abandoned

This is a rough draft. No proofreading, and I only half-developed some of the ideas I wanted to. They’ll get fixed before I post it on Ao3, whenever that ends up happening.

Continuation of Day 2: Explostion. 

Warnings: injury, blood, kidnapping, threats of violence

“Drake.”

Tim peeled his eyes open and let them shut again with a groan. The room was dark, but it was still too bright; it made his headache flare up in a way that made his entire body tense.

“Where are you hurt? I cannot—I can’t reach you. Please look at me.”

It was Damian.

And he sounded… scared.

Tim steeled himself, and managed to pry one eye open again, albeit more slowly this time. Damian’s pinched face—Tim used to think it was anger, but he knew now it was worry—stared back at him, from about three yards away. The smaller boy’s arms were wrapped around a large wooden support beam, legs framing it also. Tim stared, brain not able to piece out why until Damian shifted with a grimace and Tim caught a glimpse of coarse rope around his wrists.

“Tt. You are still concussed.” Damian gave him another once-over, and his features hardened. “Don’t fall asleep again.”

Tim wondered when he had fallen asleep. He brushed the thought aside before it could turn to wondering how long Damian had been trying to wake him up.

Squinting to reduce the glare, he took a better stock of their surroundings. There were small gaps between the dark wood slats of the floor, and it creaked as he shifted his weight around. (He was out long enough to get a crick in his back, at least.) The wall was made with the same material, letting in diagonal shafts of sunlight. They were sitting in a loft, the fourth wall nonexistent and opening up to the rest of the bare wood building. Stray bits of hay stuck out from crevices in the floor and walls.

“A barn?” Tim’s hands were trapped behind himself, around a beam similar to Damian’s. He tested the give in his ropes. No-go. When he leaned his head back, he could feel his jacket rubbing against the old wood behind himself. “Alfred’s going to have a fit when he sees our suits.”

Damian made a weird face at him, and Tim remembered with a rush that Damian’s hearing had been damaged by the explosion. “Can you hear me?”

Damian rested his cheek against the beam he was hugging. “Yes.” Then, considering his answer, he added, “Mostly.”

“Good. That’s good.” Tim tried to shift himself back, to relieve the pressure on his shoulders, but froze with a hiss when a sharp pain snapped up his leg. “That’s bad.”

Damian tried to lean closer. “The nail. Are you still bleeding?”

Tim was careful not to jostle his leg. “Doesn’t look like it. I should be good as long as I don’t move too much.”

Damian’s face was grim. He looked a lot like Bruce, when he pressed his lips together like that. “We are not in Gotham.”

There was a groan from beneath them, a door creaking open. Tim perked instantly, listening for footsteps.

Damian didn’t seem to notice. “Father and the police should arrive soon,” he said, voice not lowering at all. “I activated the tracking device in your watch while we were being transported.”

Tim’s eyes widened. He counted two pairs of footsteps stilling on the floor beneath them.

“It shouldn’t be too hard to—”

“Shhh,” Tim hushed.

Damian’s brow furrowed in irritation. Then he blanched with understanding, eyes following Tim’s glances to the empty floor below.

He had been lying about being able to hear. Mostly.

“Oh, no. Don’t stop on my behalf,” a low voice laughed from below them. Tim tensed, listening as more footsteps entered the barn, and the first two starting creaking up steps. When a head of dark hair bobbed into view, Tim recognized it as one of the men from the conference center. The one who had initially threatened him. Followed by the one who had threatened Damian.

The two men stopped behind Damian, maybe deliberately. The boy struggled to turn enough to see them. His hands were purple.

“What was that you were telling your brother?” The first one asked, teasingly.

Damian growled. So he could hear. A little.

“A tracking device in his watch?”

Without needing prompting, the second man stalked toward Tim and crouched behind him. A cold knife slithered between his wrist and the watchband, and the band broke under the pressure and fell heavily into the man’s palm. “Got it,” he answered.

If Tim strained his eyes, he could make out the faint red light of the activated emergency button.

“Hmm,” the first man hummed. “Tell Darby to drop it in the woods. Don’t want to risk Wayne finding them prematurely.”

Tim and Damian’s faces went carefully blank when the watch was tossed over the side of the loft.

“Are there any on you?” The first one asked, nonchalantly.

Damian stiffened. “No.”

“Are you sure?” The first man nodded, still out of Damian’s sight, and the second one rounded on Tim, eyeing his injured leg in a way that made Tim’s mouth go dry.

Damian licked his lips. “There was one in my phone.”

The second one knelt on Tim’s shin, pinning his leg down.

“What are you—stop!” Damian shouted.

Tim saw white. A cut-off grunt bubbled out of his throat. The man tapped the nail in his leg again, smiling when Tim tried to instinctively curl and was pulled up short.

“Stop!” Damian gasped, jerking against the ropes holding him still. “There aren’t any more!”

The first man wrapped his fingers in Damian’s hair and yanked his head back to look in his face. “You sure about that?”

“Let—let go of him,” Tim muttered between grit teeth. “He’s telling the truth.”

The fingers in Damian’s hair didn’t loosen. The smaller boy was having trouble breathing in the uncomfortable position.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“Damian wasn’t supposed to be there. I got the security sweep before going; he didn’t.”

The first guy looked down into Damian’s face with interest. “Wayne let his kid out without a guard?”

Damian scowled. “I can take care of myself.” His voice sounded slightly strangled from the odd angle of his neck.

The man next to Tim laughed, shifting his weight in a way that made his knee grind into Tim’s shin. “Sure you can, kid.”

The man behind Damian finally let go of his hair. Damian bowed his face forward and curled his knees up while he gasped for breath.

“Hey, Frank. Have you sent that picture to Wayne yet?”

The man, Frank, eased up off of Tim’s leg, and Tim sucked in a deep breath. “Not yet.”

“How many hostages do we need to get Wayne to hand over money?”

Tim’s heart skipped a beat. “No—”

“Just the one,” Frank answered easily.

“Take the smaller one.”

Tim jerked forward. “Wait—”

“The older one’s not going to tell us anything useful, and he’s already beat up. Plus, the kid doesn’t have any trackers on him.” The man behind Damian pinned him down while Frank cut through the rope. Damian’s wrists were bleeding, his fingers purple. They pulled his arms behind himself and tied them in place with a new length of rope.

Damian spat every curse he knew as they dragged him to his feet. “Unhand me! My father will make you pay for this!”

They ignored him until he stomped on Frank’s insole. Frank shouted a curse and shook his foot. The first man retaliated by dropping Damian, who only stood a moment before losing his balance and fumbling to the floor again.

His balance was still off from his concussion.

“Listen, brat. We’re leaving, and you’re going to come quietly.”

“I’m not leaving without Timothy.”

Tim blinked. Damian almost never used his first name.

“The Drake kid is staying here.”

Tim froze. Something about the words rubbed him the wrong way.

“Then so am I.” The scrunch in Damian’s face was definitely anger now.

Frank’s hand disappeared into his jacket and returned with an oblong blob. Tim strained to see what it was, but the sudden click and flash of light made it pretty clear.

A lighter.

Frank smiled, waving the lighter through the air in front of Damian’s face. “Come with us or we’ll leave him and toss this in on our way out.”

Tim’s head pounded too hard to do mental calculations, but with the amount of old hay and dry wood, he estimated the building would be consumed within ten minutes. No way Tim could escape in time.

Damian must have come to the same conclusion, because his eyes widened. “Don’t.”

Frank flipped the lighter off again. “Up to you, kid.” He hauled Damian up to his feet, this time with little resistance.

The other man walked back over to Tim, eyes scrutinizing. “You don’t have any other trackers?”

There was no point in lying. Tim shrugged. “Hard to tell. Bruce is paranoid.”

The man hummed under his breath, then crouched down in front of Tim. “Then I need to make sure you can’t follow us.”

The words registered right as he pulled the nail out of Tim’s leg.

Tim couldn’t help the ugly yelp of pain he made. It was a deep, unending pain. The nail was construction-grade, and the bloody tip came out nearly three inches long. The wound began to bleed again. Tim couldn’t apply pressure.

The man dropped the nail on the floor next to Tim with nonchalance.

“Timothy! You bastards! Let him go!”

Tim dully recognized Damian’s face, red from being upside-down, straining to twist around far enough to see him.

And then, Frank carried him away. The other man left. Tim listened as the last footsteps retreated through the downstairs barn door, and a car started outside.

The engines got further and further away, until he couldn’t hear them anymore.

#fido writes #whumptober #batfam #tim drake #damian wayne #tim & damian

[the-canary]

The Times Are Changin’ - B.B (1)

Summary: The war was over and things were changing at a rapid pace. The two of you had done some of that as well in your years apart. (40′s!Reader/Bucky Barnes) 

Prompt: Fuddy-duddy = old-fashioned person

A/N: this is for @jewelofwinter ‘s writing challenge. there are somethings that i am going to try to subtly insinuate in this series, please let me know what you think.

Feedback is always welcomed! 

1939.

It isn’t the first time you see him from afar and it certainly won’t be the last. Living in this tiny corner of Brooklyn makes you more susceptible to hearing and just seeing James Buchanan Barnes more than usual. You lived in the same block and had gone to the same schools for years. Your fathers had left for the Great War at the same time and your mothers shopped in the same, small shops.

However, there was a big difference between you and James Barnes. Everything centered around the boy, while you stood in the sideline of things. James was athletic as he was smart. He could charm his way out of anything but never brag about his accomplishments.

He was just about every girl’s dream and every mother’s hope. However, that’s where it all stopped--

“How are ya doing?” James smiles as he comes to the front of the counter. You are taken out of your inner thoughts and look at the leather bound books and colors that he had decided to pick up at the back of your family’s bookstore.    

“Fine,” you give him a simple nod and take out your own smaller notebook where you kept all the purchases of the day on record, “For Steve again?”

James gives you a nod, “Been sick in bed for the past month. Thought this would help him pass the time.”

“Eighty-five cents,” you remark as he hands you the coins. You proceed to wrap up book and pencils brown paper and tying it up in less than a minute. His smile grows for a second as you hand him the package.

“I hope he gets better then. Give him my regards like always,” you add-in, really hoping that Steve got better -- you had seen how bad it got for James at times when Steve had to go to the hospital or worse when he didn’t wake up for days.  You hoped he would get better for the both of them.

“I make sure he knows,” James lets out a small laugh, as he places the parcel underneath his arm and walks away. With a wave, he was out of the door and back in gloomy Brooklyn once more, where he was king as you went back to picking up the book you had been reading before James had come in.

But, for a brief moment, your mind lingers back to him.  

You don’t know much about things, but you wonder if anyone else knew that James Buchanan Barnes only shined the brightest when it came to Steve Rogers.

———–

1946.

It’s a lot closer to eight than you realize, as you notice the fancy lights around the boardwalk are lit up. People were heading in to come have some fun, but your main audience had started going back home at around 6 pm. However, that wasn’t the reason you were staying behind so late today, as you placed bag after bag on the still yet to be clean counter top.

It’s then that the back door squeaks on the wooden floor that has your head turning around to seeing a vaguely familiar man.  

“I didn’t expect ya to be so big now,” you remark at the smiling bulk of a man standing in your empty dinner, “Guess the Army really does change people.”

Steve lets out an awkward chuckle, as you stare at him for a moment before leading him deeper into the little chic thing that you owned. To be honest, you had been expecting Rebecca or William, not Captain America to be standing outside a barely lit Brooklyn street to pick up the plates of food that you usually made for the Barnes family. However, tonight was a bit different.

“It certainly does,” Steve remarks in a way that makes it seem that there is more to it, but you are tired to ask him any further questions. He grabs the large burlap bags filled with large servings and makes sure that everything is in order.

You wipe down the counter once more, as blue eyes look at you: “Thank you for making all this on such short notice. Becca highly recommended anything you make.”

“Think nothing of it,” you shrug the compliment off like its nothing, “Just my way of saying thanks is all.”

“Well,” Steve starts, as you put the last utensils away for the night, “Would you consider joining us?”

Out of his eyesight, you frown a little. You wonder if Becca had asked him to, she tended to still have a way of asking people to do the things she wanted. You understood why Steve and her by extension might invite you to dinner, but it simply wasn’t your place. This dinner, whatever they were having, was simply for the Barnes family and those that had served with James -- to celebrate that he had finally gotten out of the hospital, from what Becca had told you.

This wasn’t your place.

“No, I wouldn’t want to intrude,” you remark with a weary smile. Steve frowns, but he doesn’t seem all that surprised.

“Could I...at least give you a ride back home?” Steve tests the waters out as he gives you a hopeful smile.

“That would be most helpful,” you answer unsure of how he would manage, but Steve could manage anything -- he was Captain America after all. So, you grab your bag and walk out in the humid New York night.

———–

It doesn’t take that long to reach the apartment block, which has you amazed for the most part as Steve tries to explain all that he can about the vehicle he is in. Outside of that, you are mostly quiet and give him a rushed goodbye before entering the building that the Barnes lived in. That where he heads to where he finds a lively mood still going on in the cramped 1-bedroom space as the laughter of the rest of the Howling Commandos trickles into the room.  

A shorter woman with side-swept brown hair and blue eyes comes up to help him, “Oh, thank you so much, Steve!”

“Think nothing of it,” Steve states, as Becca grabs some of the bags. She looks around for a second before her smile drops.

“I’m guessin’ she said no,” Becca frowns, as Steve nods.

She doesn’t say anything besides that as they both make into the kitchen, only to find Bucky sitting there as if he had been waiting. He greets them with a somber nod, though both of them can tell his eyes light up at the sight of the food.

Steve can’t help but notice that Bucky’s face and demeanor in general tends to soften after a plate or two.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #bucky barnes au #1940's bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #fabiola trying to write #series: the times

[samgwrites]

Woodward

Prologue |Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | read on ao3

Chapter 9: Revel in It 

James and Pieridae were in a predicament, to say the least. For the first time in four years, they were back in the Queen’s courtroom, kneeling side by side. 

They weren’t in trouble, not yet. But the queen didn’t look all that pleased with them either. 

“Do you know why you’re here, Pieridae?”

“No, my queen.” The queen sighed, and the boys winced.

“Do you know what day it is?”

“Uh… Wednesday?”

“Try again.” It never failed to amaze James how much annoyance could go into such softly spoken words.

“Oh! It’s my birthday!”

“Correct, and this-”

“Wait,but, Mother,” Pieridae cocked his head to the side, “You never celebrate my birthday. I’ve been planning my own revels since I was seven.” Maybe James imagined it, but he could’ve sworn her eye twitched.

“Yes, Pieridae, and that is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. You are turning sixteen today, and I’m assuming you have a revel planned for tonight, and I wanted to discuss proper decorum going forward.” Pieridae scoffed and James shot him a panicked look.

“Decorum? Mother, it’s a party.”

“Well, it should still be a party with rules. And as the crown prince of the spring court, those rules should be especially important to you. Your siblings already know this, you should too.” Pieridae rolled his eyes. James was going to strangle him.  James still hadn’t gotten a chance to meet Pieridae’s other high royal siblings, but Pieridae had once explained “They’re dicks, you probably wouldn’t like them anyway.” 

“Alright, my queen, lay them on me.” 

“First of all, you should not be participating in the dancing, unless it is with one or two trusted partners.”

“Ah, what?”

“Secondly, you should be on your throne the entire time you are not dancing.”

“Mother, I don’t have a throne,”

“Then make one. Following that, if you want something to eat, someone else will go get it and test it for you. Your human should be able to do that for you, yes?” She finished her statement looking at James. So that was why he was here. He glanced nervously at Pieridae.

“Steller doesn’t come to my revels.” Pieridae said, and of course it was the truth. James had never been to one of Pieridae’s parties. He’d ask to go once, and Pieridae had shook his head immediately, saying James wouldn’t be able to handle it. James had been offended at the time, but when he asked Aeran about it once and the older fae had turned pale and warned him that he should avoid the revels, he decided to drop it. 

“Well, he does now.” The queen said, and James got a very strong feeling that they were not going to win this argument. He turned fully to Pieridae.

“Perhaps we should listen to her, Pieridae,” James said, “I’ll be right next to you all night, alright? No need to worry.”

“Your human needs better manners, my child, he assumes too much,” James really needed to work on honorifics,  “but he is correct. You should listen to me.” Pieridae dipped his head, but James could see his yellow eyes flicking back and forth, as they always did when Pieridae was looking for an answer. “Yes, Pieridae?”

“Yes mother. I will work on those things right away,” Pieridae stood, and  motioned for James to follow. “C’mon Steller,” James stood up and followed Pieridae out of the court. 

Pieridae started to panic well before they got back to his court.

“Shit!” 

“Language, Pieridae,”

“Fuck!”

“That’s worse,” James sighed, sinking down into his pillows. 

“I don’t know what to do, James!” He threw his hands up, “Why does she care about my revels? Why does it matter now?”

“Maybe we should just listen to her, Dae, I mean, it can’t be that bad. I’ll just sit next to you and go get you drinks, like she said,” He hummed, thinking, “Though I guess I don’t get to drink, right? Not so bad, it’s like going to a party with alcohol,” Not that he’d ever gotten the chance to do that. 

“Ugh, why are you on her side?” Pieridae groaned.

“Uh, cause I don’t want to get turned into a vegetable or a zombie or have my lungs removed or whatever it is your mom does?” Pieridae dropped his arms and sighed, before walking over and dropping down next to James.

“Yeah, yeah,” Pieridae leaned into James, “I know she scares you-”

“She locked me in a dungeon for like a week, Pieridae.”

“I know! Let me finish. I know she scares you, and for good reason, but you need to understand these revels… It's a party, like I said, but some fae have a tendency to go overboard when it comes to, well, fun. And I’m worried that, if you came, you might get hurt,” James shifted slightly, so that he could look down at the prince. A grin overtook his face.

“You care about me,” He sang, humor filling his voice, bringing his arms around the other’s torso and hugging. Pieridae smacked him away.

“Oh, shut up, asshole. You’re a weak little human who couldn’t handle himself at the most mundane of revels,” He sighed again, “Seriously, though. We need to set up some ground rules,” James nodded.

“That’s probably a good idea.”

“Ok so first off, you should be near my throne most of the time. No going off to dance without me.” 

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“You probably shouldn’t talk to anybody else either.”

“Well hold on-”

“Oh gods, should we even talk? Maybe you can just stay silent the whole night.” “Yeah, that’s a no. Pieridae if I have to go to this thing, I at least want to have fun,” James said, seriously, causing Pieridae to pause and shake his head.

“I know, but there are so many factors! I’m sure we’ll go to another soon, can’t we just treat this as a test run?” James shook his head. 

“No way, I am not going to be some human statue for the entire night. I’ll be careful with who I talk to, I won’t dance, I won’t answer any personal questions, I’ll stay within sight and earshot, and if you’re worried about your loyal subjects seeing you get so chummy with a human than we can learn sign language or something,” James rattled off his ideas quickly, then looked back to Pieridae who was nodding slowly. 

“I’m still worried, but if you stick to those it might not be so bad, actually, but what was the last thing you mentioned?”

“Oh, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile now,” James smiled, “Ok so I don’t know a lot cause my dad only taught me a few signs when I was like, super little, but basically, sometimes humans can’t speak or hear properly, so they communicate with their hands,” Pieridae nodded.  

“Alright, so it’s a language? I can probably convince one of the changelings to grab us a book or something on it and not tell anyone,” He replied. James hummed.

“Sounds good. But about tonight…”

The pair talked for a while, and argued a bit, but eventually settled on a plan. They took a nap, James on a pile of pillows and Pieridae sprawled across his rug like a cat, before Pieridae nudged James awake and said they had to start getting ready if they wanted to get there early enough to not be surprised, and so Pieridae had time to make his throne. 

Pieridae tossed some clothes to James, shrugging when the human raised a questioning eyebrow. James shrugged in return. The shirt was a loose, flowy thing, that looked like it might be used in a play. There was also a shimmering blue vest that had feather-like clasps where the buttons should have been. It was surprisingly comfortable, but most of the clothes that he had were. Pieridae looked as he usually did, but he had some new jewelry that he seemed excited about. 

The walk to where the party would be was longer than what James was used to. They passed the door to Aeran’s court, before turning a way that he didn’t recognize. They wandered down the veritable maze that was the fae stronghold, Pieridae holding tightly to James’s hand to make sure he didn’t get lost. 

They arrived at a door that Pieridae pushed through, and while he had been expecting a courtroom like the Queen’s, James was shocked to see it wasn’t a room at all. The door opened to a wide open expanse, no cave walls or thick forest in sight. There was a large circle made by a moat in the grassy plain where it was obvious the revel was to be held. There was a stone path leading to a cobble-stone dais in the center. Something seemed different, in the air. Like it wasn’t as humid.

“Where are we?” James asked, following behind Pieridae as he walked up on and on to the dais. Pieridae looked around.

“I’m not sure, but we’re not in the woods anymore.” James rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I can see that, but I mean… are we still in your… realm or whatever? It feels different.” Pieridae had raised his hands over the center of the stone platform and his eyes were closed, but he responded anyway.

“I guess you could say we’re in one of the mushroom circles… a really big one,” His voice sounded a bit strained. “Technically where we are right now is in the human world, but not anywhere close to where you’re from. When it gets later this place will be in our world… this place has existed for a really long time. I’ve heard stories that humans who came in the early hours of morning and went into the ring itself would get stuck on our side,” With that Pieridae grunted and made a tugging motion with his hands. Gnarled roots burst from the ground, twisting and bending and growing larger and harder until they resembled a high backed wooden thrown. The prince let out a sigh. “There! That should do it, don’t you think?” 

James was too consumed by his thoughts to enter. He was back home? This was the human world? Normal earth? No shades or creatures or poisoned food, could he leave? Could he hop the gap in the land and just run for it? He hadn’t thought about escape in almost a year now, but it was so close, and as he looked out at the rolling green fields he could swear he could see houses and people in the distance. But as Pieridae came up to him and cocked his head to the side, silently asking if he was ok, he remembered the last part of what the prince had said.

“Pieridae, could those people that got trapped get back out?” He asked, still looking out over the expanse. He felt Pieridae’s sad expression more than he saw it, and heard the regret in the sigh that came before the older boy’s answer.

“I knew you would ask me that. These circles are tricky. Much easier to enter than to exit. No, they couldn’t get back out,” There was something else that Pieridae wanted to say about that, James knew, but he didn’t press when Pieridae continued. “You’re still going to leave one day, alright? You’re not going to be stuck here forever. Besides, I think this place is in Ireland, and that is definitely not where you said you were from,” James let out a slight laugh and leaned into Pieridae. 

“Yeah, yeah. So when’s the party start?”

The dancers in the chain around the small fire jumped and spun erratically, never letting go of each other. They circled flames, laughing and singing, beckoning others to join. James doubted he could keep up, even if he hadn’t promised Pieridae he wouldn’t dance with anyone else. Their garments swayed with their movements, and his eyes couldn’t keep track of where one dancer ended and another began. All he saw were strokes of paint, flowing freely around the inferno. To him, it seemed as if they left afterimages in their wake before the light of the fire overtook the clearing once more. As he sat on the steps near Pieridae’s throne, watching this alien celebration, one of the dancers broke off and walked towards the pair. She bowed to Pieridae, before motioning to the steps, clearly asking permission if she could rest with James. After a moment, Pieridae nodded, waving a hand before bored eyes once again resumed watching the festivities. 

She sat down next to James, causing the pine needles and moss that covered the rocky steps to shift slightly.

“Why don’t you join us?” She asked, with a voice that was giddy and drunk on the atmosphere. She was pretty. She was smaller than him, wearing an old style pink dress that didn’t reach her bare feet. Her eyes shined in a kaleidoscope of colors, squinting at him in glee and good humor. Her blonde hair fell in ringlets around her shoulders, only interrupted by her pointed ears and the abundance of flowers around her head.

“My feet are not as strong as yours,” He said gently, “I’d rather just watch.” She nodded sympathetically, seemingly unaware of James’ slight lie. 

“I can understand. I love it, but some of the others can only go so long before they fall over,” She said, and he nodded in response. She frowned at him. “You’re human, aren’t you? You’d probably snap in half,” James found that he didn’t like the way her eyes shined when she said that. 

“My dad and I used to dance together,” He found himself saying, and Pieridae shot him a look. He wasn’t sure what had pushed those words out, but something made the memory come to the surface. “He’d turn on our little radio and we’d dance around the kitchen,” He smiled softly. Caught up in the memory, he didn’t notice him being pulled to his feet and stepping off the dais. 

“Steller, what are you-” Pieridae started, but James only waved his free hand and smiled. 

“I’m just going to stretch my legs, your highness! Let me get you something to eat!” James wasn’t sure where that came from either, but it wasn’t untrue. The golden haired fae laughed as he pulled away from her and bowed slightly, walking towards one of the stones with fruit piled high atop it. Walking through the crowd, he saw plenty of fae having fun outside of the dancers. It was a less diverse crowd  than the Queen’s courtroom, but that was only because the guest list was mainly made up of spring faeries, and there were only a few from the other courts. 

 His head felt a little fuzzy, and he suspected it was the atmosphere. As he turned back to deliver Pieridae his snacks and keep the bored prince company, he felt something brush against his leg. He glanced down and suppressed a yelp at the sight of a shade curling up his foot. It was fine, it was fine, they were harmless when they weren’t being controlled, it was probably just here to keep an eye on things for the queen, right, yes, and all he had to do was walk back to Pieridae. 

It was harder than it should have been. James had to turn down way too many offers to dance, and many of the fae didn’t seem to understand the meaning of personal space. It came to a head when a large tree spirit stepped in front of him, bending down to look at his face. 

“What are you?” It asked, slowly in a deep and menacing voice, though James was more annoyed than anything else.

“What am I? I’m currently late for delivering the prince’s food, so if you don’t mind,” He attempted to side step the spirit, but another hand reached and grabbed his arm. They seemed to be a court fae, with long straight black hair and pale skin dressed in delicate finery.  

“That isn’t what it meant!” He said in a sing-song voice, “It meant, what type of being are you? You’re certainly like nothing I’ve seen.” James frowned. 

“Well right now, I’m being delayed, so if you really don’t mind-” The grip on his arm tightened. 

“Oh I know! You’re the prince’s little human! Heard you caused a stir when you first arrived,” Arrived, he said, like James hadn’t been kidnapped, “So much energy in such a frail body! Come dance with me, human, it’ll be fun, the prince won’t mind!” James scowled and tugged his arm free. 

“I’d really rather not,” His patience was wearing thin, and while James knew to be polite to fae he didn’t know, he was very close to forgetting his manners. He got around the spirit, and got up to the edge of the dais. Pieridae smiled when he saw him, and started standing up from his chair, but suddenly his face was overcome with a look of surprise, and James felt pain on his arm. That fae was back, holding it far too tightly, smiling up at Pieridae. 

“Hello your highness!” He sang, “Mind if I take your human for a dance? My own prince sent me to see what all the fuss was about. You spring types are always so silly. I haven’t seen a human this alert in ages!” His body seemed to shift as he said that, almost as imperceptible as the dresses of the dancers, and his grip felt like ice. James spoke up, unsure of what to do.

“Your highness I have the food I promised! I’m afraid I can’t give it to you until this kind man lets go of me,” James suspected that if he was cursed the inability to lie as most fae were, he wouldn’t have been able to add the adjective. And apparently it was the wrong thing to say, as suddenly, the blond fae from earlier was lifting the plate of food out of his hands, giggling all the while, as if she’d just fixed the simplest of problems. The dark haired fae’s other arm came to rest on his shoulder. 

He snapped

“Get off of me!” He practically screeched, yanking to pull his arm away from the creature that was holding him. It didn’t work, and the man’s smile grew wider, revealing too many sharp teeth. The prince seemed to snap out of whatever decorum he’d been trying to uphold at the same time.

“Let go of him!” Pieridae hissed and leapt from his throne, and James managed to break free, but the fae’s ice cold claws sliced his skin as they released him, and he fell to the floor in shock, clutching his arm. Pieridae stood over him, snarling at the fae who hadn’t yet left the foot dias. Mushrooms and moss grew and died rapidly around them, roots broke the surface and then decayed, and while James wasn’t looking at the Prince’s face he could imagine the animalistic rage that he would see on his features. 

“How dare you touch him?” Pieridae spat. “How dare you come into my court and expect to act like an animal? That goes for the rest of you! I can see you! I have watched all night! This revel is over!” 

James didn’t hear the rest of whatever Pieridae was shouting. Some of it was drowned out by the chattering and shouts of the disappointed fae, and some couldn’t be heard over the rushing in his own head.  He barely noticed when the crowd went quiet. He felt a hand rest on his back.

“Can you stand?” Pieridae whispered, and James pushed himself to his feet without answering. There was a question in the Prince’s eyes as James looked back into them, as James steeled himself and nodded. Pieridae was still looking at him when he started speaking again.

“This is Steller, first member of my court.” only then did Pieridae turn to the frozen crowd, his eyes turning cold and hard. “And anyone who harms him will answer to me.”

#original fiction #fae #fair folk #queer fantasy #lgbtq #my writing #my ocs #pieridae #james woodward #woodward #fae ocs

[taeken-my-heart]

Independent {f} Chapter 14

Summary: Your mom calls you stubborn, your friends call you wild, and the boys you’ve left in your wake call you a frigid bitch.  You’ve built a life of independence and you like it that way. Kim Taehyung, however; seems to be able to change your mind.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: fluff, mild angst

Word Count: 4648

Warnings: This chapter is just an angst fest, I’m sorry! Next chapter gets better, I promise!

**There is a read more linked but it doesn’t seem to be working and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m sorry! TT

                                                    *************

Spring semester was a misleading name. It indicated that it was going to be warm; flowers blooming, rivers and streams melting and warming, getting ready for the impending summer swim parties 

But this, no this was not spring; not yet, at least. A fresh 6 inches of snow greeted you on your reentry to university and after warm greetings to your housemates and giving Charlotte the gifts you’d brought her from Paris, it was back to campus to buy your textbooks and seek out your classrooms in preparation for classes the next day. 

Campus was busy with life, chatter from winter vacation high and the four of you trekked up to the center of campus where the bookstore was, syllabus and book lists in hand. Charlotte asked you all about Paris, insisting that you show her all your pictures and pouting after she’d seen them all. 

“I want to go!” She complained, stuffing her mittened hands into the pockets of her oversized grey coat. “I’m so jealous you got to see all those amazing things.”

“I thought of you the whole time,” you smiled, wrapping your arm around her shoulder and pulling her scowling face next to yours in a side hug as you walked.

The heat of the book store was almost sweltering compared to outside. There were too many bodies and not enough space, but you all needed to be here so there wasn’t much that could be done. Stomping your boots on the carpet and removing your gloves, you began weaving your way through the isles in search of the books listed on your phone. 

“I can’t believe I’m taking Molecular Biology this semester. I’m going to die.” Anna sighed beside you and you turned to raise an eyebrow at her.

“No one told you to go be a forensic scientist.” You teased and she stuck her tongue out at you. 

“You know what, I don’t need your logic.” She sassed. 

“So, what’s going on with Jin?” You asked, turning to glance at Sarah over your shoulder. She smiled; blush high on her cheeks. 

“He’s actually on a plane right now. He spent most of the vacation in California, but he got to spend a few days back home with family.”

“You know that doesn’t answer my real question,” you grinned, “you guys dating or what?”

Sarah laughed, shaking her head and sliding her fingers along a nearby book as a distraction. “Yeah, we started officially dating about a week ago.”

“Well finally!” You huffed, “everyone could see that coming from a mile away.”

“Oh stop!” Sarah blushed and you chuckled, scanning the row of books for the one you needed. H.B. Hawthorne, check. Grabbing the book, you tucked it under your arm and looked back at your list. 

“Go get your books, we’ll chat about this at home.” You waved Sarah off and she smiled, walking around the isle. 

Your class load this semester was a little more intense than last. It wasn’t that you had more classes than before, but that the credit hours were higher. You’d also added a few classes that were required of your major, but if you were being honest, you weren’t sure exactly what they were meant to cover. Like Virtual Form and Space. What even was that?

After scoping out the rest of the books you needed (and finding a basket to put them in because you were foolish enough to believe you could carry them all in the first place) you made your way to the front of the store to wait for your friends. 

Anna came back first, flipping through a page of one of her text books and you grimaced when she showed you the Solving Cold Murder Cases book in her hand. “Can’t believe you actually want to work with dead bodies.”

“To be fair, I want to work more in the lab with test results, but I’m keeping an open mind. Who knows what my true calling with be?”

“Not working with dead people; that’s mine.” You said, nodding firmly and Anna chuckled. 

“Good thing you’re studying Visual Arts.”

Just then you spotted Jimin and Jungkook walk through the door, shaking the snow from their hoods and your heart jumped into your throat. “Jungkook, Jimin!” You called and they both turned to look at you, Jungkook bounding over with a smile and a hug.

“Y/N!” He said, pulling back and Jimin followed behind him, rolling his eyes at his younger brother and chuckling. 

“Hey Y/N.” He said, giving you a quick hug.

“How was Paris?” Jungkook asked, pushing into your personal space and you laughed as Jimin smacked him away. He pouted over at him, rubbing his arm, before turning back to you. 

“It was absolutely amazing.” You said, a little shy from all the eyes on you now that Charlotte and Sarah had also returned. “Biggest adventure of my life. I learned a lot of really valuable lessons.”

“About photography?” Jungkook asked and you looked over at Jimin briefly before turning your gaze back on his over eager younger brother. 

“Yes, and about life.”

“Are all the same guys living together?” Sarah butt in, moving to stand beside you. 

“Yeah,” Jimin nodded, shaking some hair from his eyes, “but this is Jin’s last semester with us so we’re gonna have to find a new roommate next year.” 

“Well you guys should come over for dinner sometime this semester.” Sarah continued, “feels like forever since we’ve all hung out.”

“That sounds like fun!” Jungkook nodded enthusiastically. “This time we could bring something, too, like desert.”

Anna grinned, nodding, “I like the sound of desert!”

Jimin glanced down at his phone as it beeped noisily, lips stretching into a frown. “Ah, sorry to interrupt, but Kook, we gotta grab our books and hurry. We’re on a bit of a deadline.”

Jungkook nodded, eyes widening with understanding. “Ok, yeah. Well we’ll all have to plan something when the semester gets underway.”

You all nodded, exchanging goodbyes before the guys walked quickly into the rows of books to search for the textbooks that would rob their bank accounts of life. “Did everyone get everything they need?” You asked. 

At your friends nods of confirmation, you all worked your way up through the line, paying for your things and bundling back up for a cold walk back to the house.

                                                 *************

The first day of classes were brutal. One, because you were used to not going to classes and restarting an old routine was like whiplash. Two, because you’d made the terrible mistake of choosing an 8am class. There had been later times for this particular class, but they’d been with teachers you didn’t really like or they just didn’t fit into your schedule properly. 

Still, despite the fact that you’d chosen the class that was best timing wisely…it was a terrible decision. Your eyes were screaming from how tired they were as you made your way to the top of campus, scarf wrapped warmly around your face and the wind whipped slurries of snow off the ground and around your head. 

The campus was mostly barren of life, just a few freshmen trudging bitterly to their classes. The joys of being underclassmen. By the time you got to the top of the hill, you were sweating, an interesting juxtaposition to the winter storm raging around your cocoon of coat and scarf. 

You’d worn your coat from Paris wanting to look cute for your first day of school, but now you were realizing the errors of your ways. The peacoat was definitely more fashionable than practical. 

The warmth of the digital arts building was like a welcome hug and you breathed a sigh of relief, unwinding the scarf from around your neck and unbuttoning your coat as you made your way through the empty hallways and into your classroom. 

The professor was already there, unpacking her bag and swishing around the mouse to her computer, and so were a handful of other unfortunate souls. A.K.A, your classmates. 

You chose a seat relatively close to the front in an effort to encourage your attention. It would be more difficult to slack or doze off if the teacher could see you. You nodded a few bleary hellos at some friends you recognized from classes before, before unpacking your bags and getting ready to take notes. 

The class was mostly boring, but it was a quota you had to fill and led you to your 9:30 am photo workshop class, which was far more exciting. Lots of hands on, practical activities that got you into the nitty gritty of what you were even in university for. Because it was just the first day, you spent most of the class going over the syllabus and being introduced to the darkroom and equipment you’d be using over the semester. 

Your last class of the day, an 11am class, was a little more sedated, but you could see it picking up in the weeks to come, once the semester was really underway. The syllabus, at least, promised some exciting material you could work with. 

Your first week followed much the same way; settling back into routine and getting used to the teaching styles of new professors. You had noticed with a sinking feeling in your gut, that you had yet to see Taehyung and for a moment you worried that maybe he’d decided to drop out after all and stay with TTIG in California’s corporate grounds. 

A week to the day after school had once again begun, you found yourself back in the library. You finally had your first real assignment to do and you needed a quiet that your apartment wasn’t currently able to offer. Jin and Sarah were both in the living room, TV blaring while they studied together. You weren’t sure how they did it, but studying with that kind of noise made your ears bleed. 

You chose a desk near the stacks in the back, pulling your laptop from your bag and setting up comfortably behind the comfort of the wooden privacy the desk offered you. Popping in your earphones, you turned on your phone, switching to a station that played the sound of rain for 5 hours straight. A little monotonous, but it soothed you. 

You’d only been studying for around 30 minutes before suddenly needing to pee. You stood up, stretching your legs and making your way to the bathroom. After heading back out once you were done, you paused to glance down at your phone. Sarah had texted to ask if you wanted to go out to eat tonight and you smiled, replying quickly that you’d be done in the library around 4:30 and you’d be up for just about anywhere.

Sighing, you slid your phone back into the back pocket of your jeans before glancing up and freezing. Across the room and standing with a few friends you recognized from his study group last semester, was Taehyung. He’d clearly gotten a tan out in California, the honey glow of his skin making him look even more handsome than you’d remembered him. 

You wanted to go and talk to him, but with all the people around, you knew it wasn’t really the right time. You’d likely just have to go to his house at some point and ask to speak to him. Just as you were about to unstick your feet from the floor and head back to your desk, you watched, almost in slow motion, as Beth walked from around the corner, smiling and running to his side, linking her fingers with his. 

You felt like your heart was going to shatter as you watched him smile down at her before leaning in to give her a quick kiss. Your throat was burning, heavy with emotion. You’d waited too long. 

It had never occurred to you that maybe he would move on. You chastised yourself for even feeling this way; he wasn’t a possession and you were the one to shut him out in the first place, you didn’t really have a right to feel this way. Your heart wasn’t a great listener, though. 

Your eyes were blurry with tears and your throat felt like it was constricting around fire. You walked quickly to your desk, packing your things to go. Screw studying, there was no way you could allow him to see you like this. It felt selfish to cry over him when you’d been the one to ultimately give him up. The walk back to your house was frozen and miserable, your tears leaving icy streaks against your cheeks. If you’d told yourself 6 months ago that you’d be heart broken and crying over a man now, you would have wanted to throw up. Now you really did want to vomit, the emotion so intense as it clawed at the cavern around your heart. 

Slipping into the front hallway of your apartment, you could hear Jin and Sarah’s voices in the living room and you tried to compose yourself before going in. You really weren’t in the mood to divulge how much of a loser you felt you were. 

You tried to slip passed unseen, muttering a quick hello with your gaze focused on the door to your left, but you should have known better. Sarah knew you too well. 

“Y/N?” You could hear the alarm in her voice, hear the shifting of her clothing as she stood from the couch, “what’s wrong?”

You paused in the doorway to the kitchen, shoulders stiff as you willed yourself not to cry again. “Nothing.” You croaked, squeezing your eyes shut in frustration and clearing your throat. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t give me that.” Sarah scolded, coming to stand in front of you, pulling your chin up to look at her. “What happened?”

You couldn’t hear him or see him, but you knew Jin was sitting behind you on the couch and you wanted more than anything to not blubber your eyes out in front of the roommate and good friend of the guy who’d unintentionally broken your heart. 

“I saw Taehyung.” You mumbled, shrugging, and you could feel rather than see Jin’s eyes on the back of your head. 

“Did you talk to him or something? Was he rude?”

“No,” you shook your head and despite your best efforts, you were crying again, “I’m too late.”

“Come sit down!” Sarah insisted, fussing around you as she sat you on the couch, going to the kitchen to grab you something and you dropped your bag by your feet and buried your face in your hands. 

“I feel so stupid.” You cried and Jin scooted close to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and Sarah came back into the room, kneeling in front of you with a glass of water. “Did you know?” You asked, glancing over at Jin and his face fell.

“I’m guessing you’re talking about Beth?” He asked gently and you nodded, wiping the sleeve of your sweater across the top of your lip. He nodded, sadly, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“How long have they been together?” You croaked.

He sighed, pulling his hands back into his lap, lacing his fingers together awkwardly. “Probably around 2 weeks now. She texted him all throughout his internship and they just really clicked.”

You felt like your heart might give out. It was like you’d been dumped, but you can’t really break up if you were never together, could you? “I just feel so sad.” You admitted, taking the glass from Sarah and twisting it idly in the circle of your hands. 

“It’s normal to feel sad.” Sarah said gently, “it’s not easy to let someone go when you care about them.”

The idea of letting Taehyung go made you feel sick to your stomach, insides churning. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath through your nose to calm the nausea. You turned to look at Jin and he looked so sad that you almost felt angry. You didn’t want to be the type of person who incited other people’s pity, it only made things worse. 

“Is he happy?” You asked and Jin squeezed his lips together, like he was trying to keep the words inside. 

“Yeah,” he admitted, “he’s pretty happy.” You nodded, standing and grabbing your bag, pulling it over your shoulder. 

“Good. I want him to be happy more than anything; he deserves it.” You walked quickly towards the kitchen before pausing and turning to look back at your friends. Sarah was still knelt on the floor, one hand resting on Jin’s knee as she kept her eyes trained on you. “Please don’t tell him you saw me…you know, crying.” 

Jin nodded, smiling softly up at you. “Promise.”

You spent the next few hours holed up in your room. Between the attempts at study and a few sessions of wailing into your pillow, you were exhausted. Mostly, you were upset with yourself. This was your own fault; you hadn’t been ready or willing to let him in and he’d moved on. You really couldn’t blame him for that. 

At the end of the day, you really did mean what you’d said to Jin. You wanted Taehyung to be happy. He was such a good guy, so deserving of the love he’d been seeking, even if you couldn’t be the one to give it to him. 

You wanted to be able to look him in the face one day and tell him you were happy for him. You weren’t there yet, but you knew someday you could be. He would just have to be a bittersweet memory that you learned from. Growth was pain and sometimes you really did just burn your bridges. 

Around 5:30 there was a knock at your door and you called softly for whoever was on the other side. Sarah opened the door, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Hey.” She said softly. 

You smiled up at her, index finger bouncing against the surface of your desk with nervous energy.

“We were thinking of going to Harvest tonight, grabbing some soup or something. You wanna come with?”

You shook your head, staring down at the carpet, toes digging into the time worn patterns. “I’m not really hungry.” You said. 

“Ok,” Sarah sighed, “you want me to bring you back something and just leave it in the fridge?”  You shrugged, scratching your fingernail across the top of your wooden chair. “I’ll get you your usual.”

You nodded and she walked across the room, kneeling down in front of you and pulling you into a hug. “I’m so sorry you’re sad.” She whispered, “the pain does go away, I promise. Try and focus on doing things that make you happy.”

You nodded, smiling down at her. “Thanks Sarah.”

After your roommates had left the house, you grabbed your camera, bundling warm into your coat, gloves, and hat, and making your way out into the evening. You needed a distraction. You wandered around aimlessly for a while, unsure of where to go. 

Small roads led to picturesque neighborhoods, icicles hanging from rain gutters and porch railings. You hated the winter, but it sure was beautiful. You snapped pictures here and there, fiddling with the settings and trying new angles. 

The sky was mostly dark, but where the sun had set was still a shadow of light blue and purple. You station yourself in between trees, aiming to capture the lighting just right. The stars above were shining despite the pocket of sunlight still left at the horizon and the picture itself was so beautiful that your heart throbbed a little. If only everything in life could be as awe inducing. 

The slush was beginning to seep uncomfortably into your shoes, but your feet had a mind of their own and you followed their guidance, making your way into a small clearance surrounded by trees, quiet and blocked from the lights of the school around it. 

The snow was pristine, beautiful in its natural state and you realized belatedly that this was the clearing Taehyung had brought you to back in November when you’d gone sledding. It was beautiful, fir trees lining the entire enclosure and you lifted your camera to take some pictures, breathing fog into the air. 

It was amazing the power a cluster of trees could have, blocking out the sounds of the outside world. You felt so far removed from civilization, despite being only a tree line away. It was likely a mistake, but you weren’t really thinking straight so you immediately let your knees buckle under you, plopping in the snow and laying back, letting your camera rest on your chest. 

You were wet and you were cold, but the sky was magnificent. Stars winking down at you from their spots in the universe. You sighed up at the view. It couldn’t fix any of your problems, but somehow, it gave you peace, allowing for a sense of hope to build in your chest. 

You weren’t sure how, but you knew things would be OK. Right now, your heart was aching, but you would move on. You’d missed your shot with Taehyung, but that didn’t mean that there wouldn’t be a shot with another guy somewhere down the line. You’d be ready for him when the time came. 

You stood slowly, shivering as your clothing, now wet with snow, sopped through to your skin. You needed to get home quickly and get warm before you caught a cold; it was maybe already too late to prevent it anyway. 

After returning home and taking a nice warm shower, you cuddled up into bed, listening to the sounds of your roommates returning from dinner. It wasn’t that late, but you felt too tired to stay up, so turning to your desk light, you flipped the switch off and allowed yourself to drift into sleep.

                                                   *************

The next morning you woke late. The sun had long been risen and the house was quiet; you supposed your roommates had already gone to class. You only had 2 classes today and your first didn’t start until 1pm, so you took your time, making breakfast, showering, and getting ready. 

You decided to look your best today. Even though you didn’t really feel that confident on the inside right now, you didn’t need to look the part. There was something to be said for building your confidence in other ways, and though you didn’t think it was smart to always put so much stock in the way you look on the outside, today you needed a little pick me up and a cute look was gonna be it. 

After finishing a very lazy morning routine and even watching an episode of your favorite show, you made your way back to campus and into your cinematography class. In general, your entire schedule this semester was pretty promising and you settled into a brief explanation of what to expect in the class and then a video showcasing work done before, some of the famous names who’d taken the class before stardom, and some movie trailers from movies that the school had worked on directly. Last class you’d merely gone over the syllabus and done introductions, so this was a fun twist. 

By the time you’d left the classroom you were buzzing with excitement, chatting away with a classmate and friend about your expectations for the semester. 

“My dad said that Mike Posner took this class when he was here, and look at him now.” Your friend, Adrian, remarked and you smiled lopsidedly at her. 

“But isn’t he a singer? What does cinematography have to do with that?”

Adrian shrugged, checking her phone before sticking it back in her backpack. “Don’t know, still famous, though. I gotta run to class, only got 20 minutes to make it there and it’s across campus.”

“I wish you luck!” You called, giggling as she waved and bounced off in the other direction. 

You yourself had another class in 30 minutes so you stopped by a vending machine quickly to grab a snack before bundling up again and making your way out into the snow to head to your digital art history class. You were really looking forward to this week because now your classes would actually start to get interesting. 

After class you made your way back to the library to catch up on the work you’d avoided yesterday. Honestly, it was the beginning of the semester so it wasn’t like you were behind on anything, you only had that one assignment, but you liked to feel prepared and ahead of the game. 

You shoved your granola bar in your mouth, staring distractedly at your phone as you made your way down to the first floor of the library. You needed a little peace and quiet that the social atmosphere of the 3rd floor couldn’t afford you. Just as you were stepping through the doors to the first floor, you collided with someone, nearly dropping your phone and gripping the bar between your teeth before looking up, apology dying on your tongue.

“Taehyung.” You breathed, pulling the bar from your mouth. 

His dark hair was fluffy, like he’d just blown it dry, flopping messily across his head. He looked cute. 

“Uh, Hey, Y/N.” He replied, scratching at his chin. 

“How are you?” You asked, looking up at him, watching as his dark eyes darted from your face to the walls around you.

“I’m ok; I’m good. How’re you?”

“Yeah, I’m OK.” You nodded, shifting your feet as the two of you plunged into awkward silence. “I heard you had a good time in California.”

He looked down at you, eyebrows rising in surprise. “From Jin?” You nodded and he continued, “yeah, it was a really cool experience.”

You paused; tongue heavy with the words you wanted to say. I miss you, I’m sorry, I was scared. Nothing felt right, but you should have known your mouth would run before you could really think it through. “I also heard about…you know, about Beth.”

Taehyung frowned, jaw ticking as he clenched his teeth. Perhaps Jin wasn’t supposed to say anything about that, but you’d been the first to see them after all. 

“How long have you guys been together?” You asked awkwardly, the words uncomfortable in your mouth. 

“A little over two weeks.” He said and he sounded annoyed with you. Your heart wilted at the thought.

“Oh.” You nodded. 

“Why oh?”

“I guess it just feels kind of fast.” You commented softly, shrugging.  

“It’s been over two months, Y/N, it hasn’t been that fast. We were never even together. How long do you expect me to pine for someone that doesn’t want me?”

“It was never a matter of not wanting, Taehyung.” You insisted.

“Whatever you want to call it, it doesn’t matter; you rejected me so why are you acting like this?”

“Why her?” You asked. 

“Who, Beth?” At your nod he frowned, “I’m sorry, but it’s honestly none of your business. I offered up my whole heart and you didn’t want it so now it’s time we both move on.” He looked into the distance, nodding at someone over your shoulder, “Look, I gotta go. Have a good semester, ok?” He reached up to pat your shoulder but stopped suddenly, staring at you in discomfort before fisting his hand and dropping it to his side, walking around you. 

You wanted to be sick all over again. You’d really messed up. Not only had you lost out on a guy you’d really liked, but you’d destroyed a friendship. Your bottom lip trembled at the thought, but you refused to lose another night of studying to an all-night cry session. You rounded your shoulders, making your way to a desk at the back of the library and sitting down.

Your broken heart would just have to wait.

____________________________________________

Only two more chapters left in this story and I promise they are MUCH happier than these last few! Thank you so much for sticking around. Please let me know what you think. I’m so curious! xx

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

Copyright © 2017  by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved.

#taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic

[moonriverandkamila]

I’m feeling 22! (Part 1)

Today, May 4th of 2020, I turned 22 years old. 

When I was in kindergarten (although it was more of a daycare), I remember being scared of going to class without my mother. I was a fast-walker, and my house and my school was just a-minute-distance. I am still not sure if it was my shy personality or the fear of making mistakes - and being scolded for it, that made me fear being away from a guardian who could defend me from a teacher. 

When I was in elementary:

On first grade, I experienced having a crush at first sight, who was a boy that was smaller than me, and a girl that I decided would be my best friend because she gestured me to sit with her during the first day of class. I remember during a math class, our teacher was not in the classroom and she had us answer, or maybe copy some addition and subtraction from a textbook. Maybe it was pride that didn’t make me stop, but I ran around the classroom during our whole period while I watch my classmates do their work. I was scolded by my teacher, and I had to stay in class during lunch time. Looking back, I think my shyness disappeared during elementary. 

On second grade, I met new classmates. I had a feeling that my adviser didn’t like me, but I was a child who wanted attention so I think I wasn’t the only one who worried about not being liked. One afternoon, a mischievous classmate, who sat behind me, told me he’s going to whisper something in my ear. I leaned closer to him, and he kissed me on the cheeks. Back then, I was laughing and cringing. Now, I wonder if he actually had a crush on me. My father was the one to drive and fetch me to/from school, but I remember commuting in a tricycle because the driver told me he was routed to my subdivision – and I was afraid to say no. I rode the tricycle, literally saw my father on his motorcycle less than a meter away from me, but I didn’t call him. I told the driver to drop me off at the municipal office (where my mom is still currently working for) because I had no money for fare. I came there, with my mom on the phone because my father was so worried that I had gone missing. That was my first commute experience.

(There was also one particular memory that I had with my subdivision friends. We went to play in the subdivision court, where these rice/palay crops were left under the heat of the sun. My friends went running on them, playing, tossing them around – and I watched from the side, telling them to stop. They ignored me, so I joined them instead. A wrong choice, now that I think of it. But hey, I was a child. One of the house owners near the scene saw us, and shouted her lungs out, calling us. She sounded very angry. She was angry. My friends ran away, but I froze on the spot. She kept shouting at us, telling us how it was so wrong that we would step on and play with food. Or maybe she kept on shouting because I was still there. Maybe she was just scaring us, and she had no intention of scolding us face-to-face. But I walked towards her, scared but, ready to be scolded. Alone. I don’t know how to put it into words now, but the tricycle driver incident and the angry woman incident made me think if I was a people-pleaser, a person who couldn’t say no, or just a girl who didn’t want to be bad.)

On third grade, I met the teacher who changed the path I thought I was destined to take. I didn’t know I had potentials, but somehow, she saw it (whatever they were) and encouraged me to take an admission test for the fourth grade special class - called SPED, at that time, but it literally just meant the highest section. I took the test, at that time I didn’t know what it was but, I just did. She came to our classroom one afternoon and she told me the proudest “congratulations” I would ever hear from a teacher, or from a stranger, when I passed the exam. I decided I want to be that for someone. Someone who sees potentials. Someone who encourages to taste and see.  I was good with those window drill cards, with M1 (Multiplication 1) and D1 (Division 1). Answering those was like an unspoken competition between my classmates, and I always finished first. No kidding, I think my longest record for that was a minute. Around our fourth grading period, we did A1 (Addition 1) + S1 (Subtraction 1) again. I took a longer time, while my other classmates finished them - not in a flash, I must say, but way quicker than I did. I remember looking at my adviser in the eye at that time. She wasn’t judging me, but I felt so embarrassed. I realized that time, that we are not always the best. That there are things other are better at. It made me humble, for a few months, until I became very self-centered – this one I hadn’t quite realized until college.  For some reason though, I comforted myself that I was good at the ‘higher’ level Math: multiplication and division. But none of it mattered when I went to high school, because I sucked so badly at Math.

On fourth grade, I attended the highest section class. I had no idea though. I had this slam notebook that I passed around for my classmates to answer – with their names, birthdays, favorite things, crush, own definition of love. Maybe it was just a girl thing, those slam notebooks, but I knew I really liked knowing about people. Not gossip, but just knowing. My adviser confiscated that slam notebook one morning, and she kept it until the afternoon. I don’t remember when, perhaps a few days after that, she changed our seating arrangements and she made me sit on the front row desk, on the third column – which made no sense because only shorter people are ‘allowed’ to sin on the front. But it would make sense if I sat with my crush from grade 1, the boy who was smaller than me. She read my entry in the slam notebook. That was the only explanation I could think of. I do not know the term, but after being loyal to my grade 1 crush, I ‘picked’ another crush as a joke, and it became an inside joke between me and my classmates. That crush lasted until sometime in high school. Then two real crushes in high school. If I count it, I actually have few real crushes that lasted me YEARS before I could move on from one crush to the other. I couldn’t really remember if I was attracted to them, or if I just picked a crush and stick to it. However, it mattered to me that I didn’t easily change my picks. I was loyal. When I was 18, rather than picking, I chose a guy I wanted to date. It was the same guy who, according to him, liked me and waited for me ever since I was in high school. Despite my indecisiveness, I was sure of him. At 18, I started believing that love is a choice and not just a chance to pick.

On fifth grade, I first experienced being unable to see at far distances. We had these cute wooden tables to ourselves, way different to the classic desks we were all used to. I was on the farthest corner from the blackboard. I remember my adviser telling me to get eyeglasses – there was this medical mission activity just outside our school that focused on giving eyeglasses to those who need it. But I didn’t come. I reasoned that we have a Math quiz and I don’t want to miss it.

The truth was I couldn’t go there alone. And I never had my first eyeglasses until around the third grading of my first year in high school, so I became so terrible at Maths and Algebra because I couldn’t see the equations on the board – and no words would help me understand Math without visual representation, not now and not ever. Because of my near-sightedness, I decided that Math wasn’t for me. It lasted until college, and maybe it will for the rest of my life.

On sixth grade, I saw two of my teachers cry. One was out of embarrassment. One was out of worry. Seeing the first teacher cry made me think “I don’t want to be like her.” Maybe I judged her. But after some thinking, it changed to “I don’t want that to happen to me.” It was a major shift of perspective for me, because that time, I realized that our mistakes or situation do not define us as a whole. There are just some ugly things that happen to us no matter how hard we try. The next day, she came to school and we had our class normally. Maybe it was an adult thing, just moving on after a bump. But crying, I thought at age 11, was not an adult thing. The second teacher cried out of worry because she thought one of my classmates had gone missing, after messing up an errand. Maybe it was relief? Or anger? I thought negatively (but not really) of my teachers who cried, but at age 20 (no matter how I tried to be professional, refusing to accept their Facebook friends requests until the school year was over), I cried out of frustration in front of my (practice-teaching) students. But on that day, my grand demo teaching, I was so proud of them as well. I made sure I told them. I wanted them to be assured, that I believe in them. Always.

In my first year in high school, I met my first official best friend. I first befriended her because she was seatmates with my crush from grade 4 (my second pick), the one that lasted until sometime in high school. It was a ‘bad’ motive to befriend someone, I know. But it wasn’t like I did it to harm her or anyone. (Are our motives justified if we think that way?) And she couldn’t care less about him being her seatmate, that we became friends just because. No idea how, but we just did. Whenever I open my Facebook, and those Facebook memories pop up, our posts and conversations appear – and I realized that I was really self-centered. It made me thankful that she remained being my friend. It was too late to ask her now if I annoyed her or offended her. The dislike I felt from my other high school friends was so obvious – but no matter how I try, I couldn’t remember a moment that I felt that she disliked me. Maybe she was just good at concealing her feelings. After several years, despite the differences in our streams and boats, she is still one of the few friends I trust and treasure. Maybe I wish things were different, but remaining on one place just because is good for me, too.

In my second year in high school, I met new friends who introduced me to Kpop – and I had no idea how they would bring colors to my high school life. They all said high school is the best part of life. I used to think it was because my high school life had Kpop in it. Maybe it was one factor, but what were the odds of nine high school girls being friends and making colorful memories? Whenever I hear the word nostalgia, those were the memories, and the people I think of the most. The people who first pointed out my self-centered personality, maybe out of anger or frustration, or concern. I figured as adults, such feelings often roll into one honest remark that we often mistake as hatred or judgment. One of them, I remember, was so guilty when we talked about it after some years. Maybe she reflected on it. But I did, too. Maybe she regret saying them, maybe she regret ‘being mean’ but looking back, it was a good reminder to me. Maybe we identify our ‘mistakes’ or ‘bad attitude’, and feel sorry for them, and that’s a good way to go – but I love how God makes it for the good of others, too.

 In my third year in high school, I won my first competition (ever) in an essay-writing contest during our Buwan ng Wika (Filipino Club’s event). I remember my eight girl friends sitting beside me during the programme, and we were waiting for the announcements. The second placer was in the same year level as me, only she was in the highest class. And let’s be honest, I sucked in a science high school and often felt like I didn’t belong there. One of my friends comforted me, accepting defeat, I didn’t dislike the gesture. It felt nice, that her first reaction was to comfort me, and it was enough for me. But I was expectant, for some reason. Maybe it was my self-centered personality, although I didn’t really think I was the best. I just believed I was good. The host announced that the first placer, the winner, was in the third-year too. My friends cheered and screamed, the whole batch screamed. They knew it was me. I knew it, too. I went up the stage to receive my certificate, and on my way down the stage, I caught a glimpse of my adviser coming towards me, she was proud. I missed the steps, and I slipped in front of the whole gymnasium. They laughed, but I wasn’t really embarrassed – because I won. And even if it was a third placer award, I wouldn’t feel embarrassed too, I was sure. Because I won. I was laughing when I went back to my seat, my friends waiting but still laughing so hard. Two of my friends won, too. It was a great afternoon. I won in a writing competition, and my friends whom I treasured more than anything, as a fourteen-year-old, were there, not just for me, but with me. I became a total introvert in college, had social anxiety issues that made me miss classes on my final year. I started to say that I don’t like people, but that wasn’t true. I wanted company. Not people who would always agree with me, but people who were sure they would be with me.

In my final year in high school, I saw the remark of my teacher in one of my essays for her subject. She said I had a unique, good style in writing. It made me feel good, so good that if I think about it now, I would have bragged about it to my friends. But I can’t remember that now. The same teacher saw me and told me that I should join the campus’ school paper. But maybe I was lazy, or I didn’t see the point of joining in my final year. But I remembered thinking maybe I was worth being on a school paper, so I joined one in college. I remember graduating, and my friend crying to the song Long Live by Taylor Swift, as we huddle up, all nine of us. I remember enjoying the moment, the idea that I graduated in a science high school despite being so bad in Maths, or maybe everything except English. This high school had influenced me so much, making me think I am not good (after years of realizing that it was my perspective that lowered my self-esteem and not the curriculum) – but also giving me the privilege of being in good company, my friends. The future was set for me after that graduation. I already had a university to attend, with one of my friends. Most of us would study in Manila, and we could meet from time to time. That was my plan. That was what I was expecting. I was 15. I didn’t know that it would change for me. All of it.

College was not easy for me. I remember being an outcast in my block section because they disliked the university publication I was a part of. But I had two friends who stayed with me. We were inseparable. Not until we reached second year and had different majors. This was when I wondered if I was a bad friend who was not good with maintaining friendships.  I had many friends from when I was young and until now, and I came to a conclusion that I am the friend that you couldn’t remain friends with if you don’t see me often. It still applies up to this day, with few people merely making it. Not that I was a price or something. I was a bad friend, I admit. In my final year in college, in the year of social anxiety, depression, and missing classes – I told my college friends to “leave me alone” but in the nicest way possible. They were mad that I missed classes. They talked it out with me, communicated with me, but all I asked was for them to let me do what I want and have to do, all by myself. But I have a reason! Now that I think about it, it was so immature. I felt guilty that they had to deal with the “Where is she?” “Is she coming to school today?”  and being stuck with an irresponsible friend who does not even speak whenever she comes to class.

I was wrong. I realized I was just being ignorant of the company I have in them, refusing to admit that I need their help. Or that I need anyone’s help. The next day after I told to leave me alone, they let me do what I had to do. Of course, it would be wrong to think that they abandoned me after I tell them that. But I never really thought that way. They were the nicest friends, the deepest friends. We refused to badmouth our classmates (but not always, haha), refused to “help” each other by cheating, refused to do anything that is wrong. Instead, we pointed out what was wrong. We pointed out what we needed to do properly. Pointed out what was wrong with me. Pointed out what I need to do properly. They were not the type to get sick of a friend and leave them hanging. They were the friends who communicated with me, and friends who wanted to be my company. We didn’t graduate together, of course. I stayed for one more year in college, completing the required courses for me to graduate. I stayed for one more year, and they were with me. I was not with them for their final year in college, but they were there for mine. I learned a lot of things in college. My darkest days, yet, were in college. But in those dark days, I was enlightened by one realization: It is a gift to have a friend who corrects you; communicates with you; comes to you even in during your stormy seasons.

 Today, I turned 22.

I’m feeling 22.

Unsure, afraid, but thankful.

Joyful.

I looked back in my life so far. Suddenly, all the things I expected and wanted to have and achieve at 22 weren’t as important as the things I learned from my past.

If it weren’t for Jesus and for the people He allowed in my life to be my company, I wouldn’t have felt this joy.

#kamila's words #kamila's thoughts #moonriverandkamila #moonriverandkamila's #essay #personal essay #words #spilled thoughts #spilled memories #spilled ink #i'm feeling 22 #i'm feeling 22 part 1 #I crammed this without proofreading #Please understand

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Summer of 89′ | 003

Read from the start | Read on AO3

There was an undertone of bleach in the air. Something that didn’t hit Chloe the second she walked through the sliding doors. Instead, it was gradual. Creeping up the back of her throat and clouding her lungs until she couldn’t recognize it at all. It used to bother her, the scent of bleach.

Everything was too clean in the hospital for her liking. She had grown up in a home that wasn’t afraid to get dirty. Mud was tracked against the kitchen floor when a good heaping of rain was dumped on their ranch property. The tub was rimmed with a line of black after every bath as a child- because dirt was natural. Messes were natural, or at least they were when it was anywhere but here.

Chloe closed her umbrella, letting the stray drops of water slide down her hand and past the cuff of her jacket until the cold streak touched her elbow. She dug her boots into the black mat right past the doors, leaving behind the very dirt she was self-conscious enough not to leave tracked against the Hospital lobby.

It was relatively desolate considering the full moon hung in the sky like a golden ornament on a Douglas fir. It wasn’t peak flu season, and Chloe thanked the higher powers for that. But that didn’t’ stop everyone from faking coughing fits and begging her to test for a fever one more time because their temperature was sure to have spiked over the last two minutes.

She punched the code into the worn-down pad next to the second set of doors and was met with another long white corridor lined with shy wooden doors. The sound of machines whirring, and IV’s dripping carried on like white noise. She walked with confidence.

“Doctor-“The voice echoed against the walls as one of her latest interns trotted up next to her. Her magenta scrubs stuck out like a beacon in a white sea. She quickly flipped the metal chart back to reveal a paper. “I’m so glad you’re here. I was wondering if you could take a look at the medications given to 207. Doesn’t seem right to me.”

She was annoyed. She would have been annoyed at anyone at this moment, reminding her of a job she kept for one summer at a sandwich shop. Customers came so frequently that that same disgruntled edge of dissatisfaction pulled at her. Still, she nodded and glanced at the chart.

Sixty-four-year-old Damion Coves. A repeat offender of the Emergency room, once or twice a month if Chloe could remember. A strong reason she had given the patient to her Intern in the first place. Sometimes it was a broken arm, but most of the time it was in relation to a back problem he refused to fix. He had worked as a fisherman for countless years, hauling product and gutting sea life.

“Hydrocodone and acetaminophen?” Chloe mumbled, as she furrowed her brow and looked up at the doe-eyed girl.

“Yes, Ma’am. He’s been complaining about the pain escalating. Demerol hasn’t done the job in quite some time and by the looks of it, he’s refusing the surgery.”

Chloe hummed, “He doesn’t like his odds against the possibility of being paralyzed from the waist down. Switch these to Propoxyphene. Damion Coves is an alcoholic, the second you pump him full of those and send him on his way he’ll stumble off the docks.” She shoved the metal chart back into her hands “Get to know your patient. You can smell the bourbon on his breath from a mile away.”  

She continued her journey until she made it to her office. It was three corridors deep, surrounded by cool cement and filled with old copy boxes that had case files. Ways she would teach her interns with gallbladder removals and that one stomach-churning patient who was almost sawed in half at the old mill.

Chloe breathed in the musty scent and flicked on the light. Her desk was the only clear thing about the office- despite her working here for four years, having the place all to herself. There was one picture of her girls hidden away in the bottom compartment of her filing cabinet. Her computer was covered in yellow sticky notes, and a nametag rested in the center of the surface.

“Ilene” She scoffed before pulling on the white coat slung over the chair and clipping the metal to the collar.

Her rounds started in a few minutes, she left the stuffy office and walked back into the sterilized hallway. She made it the nurse’s desk without another interruption and grabbed the stack of metal charts left by the attending on first shift.

“How are you tonight, Chloe?” her breath caught, she was halfway through the notes on Mrs. Robinson’s chart. She silently cursed herself for not hearing the heels against the linoleum. “Ilene.”

She drew in a deep breath, “Oh, absolutely fantastic, love these overnights.”

“fewer people.”

Chief Mary Saxe leaned against the counter next to Chloe, a smug look on her face. She had pulled her hair from the usual bun and let the curls move over her shoulders in waves. She was graying but in the most flawless way possible. Her jacket was pressed and her shirt was tucked in with professionalism despite the ungodly hour.

She had a point. It was quiet at night, visiting hours had faded away to nothing and the only people Chloe had to deal with were those listed in the charts, and whoever found themselves in the ER with appendicitis or a fever too high to register.

The two of them started walking towards the front of the corridor again, a round of silence plaguing them both before Chloe spoke. “You don’t have to babysit me, I’m fine.”

“I’m going to pretend I believe you.” She stalled before grasping Chloe’s elbow and bringing her to a halt. “I’ve known you for a hell of a long time, practically watched you grow up. You always get weird around today.”

Chloe swallowed roughly “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m here to do my job. Save lives and kick ass. Your motto, remember?”

“No, yes, I remember just. I’m speaking to you as a friend, not a colleague here. If you need to leave, I understand.”

“And I’m telling you as your friend, I’m okay. In fact, I would rather be around other people then shut in my room binge-watching the bachelor with a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. So, can we please get on with rounds and just drop this?”

Doctor Saxe stared at her for a few moments, trying to figure out if Chloe was being genuine or not. She eventually decided that it didn’t matter if she was. Both of them continued on their way and made it to the first patient behind curtain number one.

It always felt like a game show to her. She never knew what would be behind the thin veil of plastic. Of course, she could always look at the chart before she went in. But that would take the fun and surprise out of it all.

The same intern that had approached her earlier about Damion seemed to have done all the heavy lifting. The little boy that sat on the bed directed his strained attention. His hair was adhered to his head with rainwater and mud. His arm was being placed carefully into a splint, and his mother was pacing a hole into the linoleum.

She stopped mid-stride and turned her hawked expression to the two doctors. “oh thank god, this girl looks too young to be a doctor.”

“Ma’am, I assure you, Stephanie has gone through all four years of medical school.” Chloe said slowly “And she’s doing a fantastic job. Mind telling me how this happened?”

She quickly forgot her anger towards the doctor, switching the string of her own son instead. “I told him not to go outside. Said that there was a storm coming and it was best to stay out of that old treehouse of his. But he never listens. The wood got too slick and he fell, broke his arm.”

She nodded and Doctor Saxe watched the situation unfold. She stayed silent, keeping a lingering eye on Chloe more than anything. Her arms were crossed and Chloe minded herself, directing her next questions towards where the kid sat and kicking his feet.

“Anything else hurt, little man?”

“Nothing does.” The mother answered in a clipped tone instead. Cutting off her son completely.

Doctor Saxe capped her hands together once and boasted a smile. “Okay! Stephanie, ma’am, why don’t’ we go out into the hallway to discuss how to take care of that cast. I know it’ll be hard to keep it dry in this weather- but we’re going to show you how.”

Chloe mouthed a thinly veiled ‘thank you’ as the woman and her intern cleared the room completely so she could do the rest of the exam. She slid on violet gloves and pulled a stool over to the young boy. He seemed comfortable, if not sleepy from today’s events. There was a thin line of blood on his chin and another on his forehead.

“Did you hit your head at all, when you fell?”

He gestured no “I don’t think so, I heard my arm break. Johnny broke his arm at the ice rink two years ago and it sounded the exact same. I didn’t think it would hurt that bad.”

“Oh?” Chloe gave him a smile, gently getting a better look at the lacerations “Yeah, it’s not the greatest feeling in the world but you know what? You’re very brave for getting through it. And look at that amazing cast you have! Is blue your favorite color?”

“Yes! And look, someone already signed it!”

Chloe lifted her eyebrows. Stephanie had just been finishing it up when they walked into the room. His mother must have worked fast, maybe even kept a sharpie in her purse wedged between some hard candies and wet wipes.

“see.”

Dread owned Chloe Beale in that moment. Directed all of her thawed blood to rush past her ears and her vision to fog up. She stared at the words scribbled in silver sharpie against the polymer-coated cast. The lettering was neat and precise, too well thought out to be ignored. Too concrete to be imagined.

Summer of 89, remember?

#Beca Mitchell #Chloe beale #Emily Junk #Aubrey Posen #Bechloe #Junksen #Fanfiction #request