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psychicuniiverse · 1 year

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Below are several ideas about change:

Rigidity Change

is well understood and easy to recognize. It is sometimes called 'refusing to change.' A rigid person responds the same way to many different situations. Their behavior may not be disagreeable in itself but be difficult because of the unbending and universal way it's applied. Rigid behavior stops growth and limits relationships. Though frustrating, it is not manipulative. People are most often rigid because they perceive the same basic threat constantly, and don't have confidence that they can survive any other way. From the inside rigid behavior feels like a realistic response to the situation. Pressuring a rigid stance is counterproductive.

Tactical Change

refers to efforts to achieve a persistent goal, often control of some sort, by different behavior, only because the nature of the contest has changed. Tactical change is common where there is a struggle for power and control. For instance, one partner oppresses the other in a relationship, insisting on making all the decisions, verbally abusing and manipulating. The oppressed partner moves out but maintains some contact. The dominating partner becomes less authoritarian, listens more, starts spending money on the other partner, etc. The oppressed partner senses that the change in behavior is more than a thin put-on. It is, but only because different behavior is more successful in that situation. If the partner moves back in, the abuse will usually start again because it is in that context more effective at achieving what has been the goal all along: power and control.

Superficial Change

is also easily recognized since it is usually a visibly half-hearted attempt to please the other. Because the goal remains the same, it cannot not last. Sometimes superficial change is presented as the 'start of change', with the implied demand that this other person be allowed back in our lives now. Remember any urgency is usually a sign of an attempt to control. Also remember that while real change may start small, it starts with a change in goal.

Cyclical Change

is often prominent in abuse and addictions, but most relationships develop some repeating patterns. As feelings of insecurity or shame grow in one person certain problem behaviors develop. Those in relationship with the person tend to adjust their behavior to maintain stability, but tension increases. At some point a crisis or explosion occurs which is disorienting and consumes everyone's attention for a time, and tension falls. A period of lower tension follows. It may be thought that problems are finally "behind us." But inexorably tension begins to build again. Different family or group members may take turns driving the cycle, and the crisis may vary. It may not appear that any cycle is occurring, only a lot of "bad luck," interspersed with hopeful times. Behavior can be plausibly seen in the short-run as a realistic response to events. The goal is usually to escape a pervasive feeling of shame. Feelings of “deja-vu” may indicate cyclical change

Authentic Change

is evidenced not just by persistence over many weeks and months and many opportunities but also by an essential change in the relationship goal.. For instance, a man or woman trying to keep his marriage stable (really prevent abandonment) may for a long time persist in controlling behaviors that actually alienate his partner more. If he learns a new way living in that situation, his goal no longer will be to control and limit his partner, which may much more effectively achieve his personal goal of not being alone. Likewise for over-accommodating behavior. To achieve authentic change, a person must accept responsibility for his or her behavior and the consequences.

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afaimscorner · 2 years

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Superman & Lois 2x15

So, that was it for me with the show, I guess. Which is sad because most of the first half of this ep was actually really good, and I did like most of the first two seasons, but I don’t appreceate disloyalty, and I won’t suppport people who lied to everyone for three years in order to con people into watching this show.

I mean, really, what bullshit is that? Why set up “Superman & Lois” in Crisis during a scene that takes place on Earth Prime, why use the same actors, even Lucy from “Supergirl” that season, and have Diggle guest star in the middle of his Green Lantern Arc and pretend it’s part of a Mini-Crossover and have him menton “Oliver and the others” and why menton Crisis like all the time, only to reveal in a throw away line: “Superman is the only hero we have” aka that the show takes not place on Earth Prime.? Why give them their Comic Tie-In? Yes, “Stargirl” had one too, but they made it very clear that this was not taking place on Earth Prime, while “Superman & Lois” still very much pretended it was taking place there.

I will never forgive Warner and DC and the showrunners for that. I mean, there are plus sides: Watching this show was extremly stressful due to their inability to air it with a normal schedule like literally any other show in existence. And now that we know it has nothing to do with the Arrowverse and we were lied to for three years, I am under no obligation to watch it ever again.

I could if I want to, but right now I am like: Maybe in two or three years when it won’t involve work to watch it. But I am done with Live Watching and fandoming.

And the other plus: All those “Supergirl” Retcons are now undone. So yeah, Lucy is Lucy again and this is just a stupid doppelganger, the Morgan Edge, who tried to kill Lena, is not Tal-Rho but another person, the two fortresses issue is solved etc.

But that does not change the fact that the just decided to seperate “Superman & Lois” from the Arrowverse, which it was built on, only to let that “left feminist LGBT friendly” Corner of DC TV die with the end of “The Flash” but have “Superman & Lois” going on - because they said it themselves (even though John Henry and Nat did enough work in this ep) this earth has only one hero: The straight wihite man called Superman.

So, yeah, I am done. I don’t support liars and con-artist and the producers and writers of this show are exactly this.

#Superman & Lois #Superman & Lois Season 2 #Waiting for Superman #Arrowverse #Supergirl

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precioussojunghanzhengui · 9 months

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"She's just watchin' the clouds roll by..

And they spell her name..

Like Lois Lane.."

#Music #Lyrics #Daughtry #Waiting For Superman

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hailsatanacab · 5 months

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Family Dinners - dpxdc

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.

The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.

"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.

"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.

"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."

Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.

Ancients, that's so weird!

The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.

Wait. Family dinners?

He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.

"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.

From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.

"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"

"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"

"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."

"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."

The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.

Come on, Danny, recover!

"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."

"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?

"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."

"Costume? What do you mean?"

Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.

"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!

"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.

"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.

His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.

Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"

"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"

"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."

"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.

It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.

It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.

Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.

"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."

Once again, the whole table falls into silence.

"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"

"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"

"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."

Danny's grin freezes in place.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."

"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"

Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.

"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.

"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."

An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.

"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."

"What did happen?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."

"How long in the future was it?"

"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.

Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"

"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."

"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."

"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"

"What?"

"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."

Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.

"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.

"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."

"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"

"Damian, stop—"

"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."

"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."

"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.

"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."

"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."

"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."

"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #batpham #hailsatanacrab🦀🦀writes #look. this has been in my mind for so long guys so long - and idk if its canon that the batfam have codes for time travel situations or what #but i feel like ive seen it before and if its not canon it should be #so here - how i think that would be funny to go down #i have so many thoughts about TUE and its place in a dpxdc crossover like holy shit there's so many ways it can go!!#i have another wip in the works thats kinda similar to this but with superman and i cannot wait to work on it again #there are so many ways i wanted this to go but i just couldnt get there - i wanted to keep it on the shorter side but like #perhaps ill have to expand #i just love the idea that like. theres a stranger at your table who knows you and knows you well. who knows the secret that youd die to keep #there's a stranger at your table and he says something and you know he's family. you know you're strangers but now...#now you have to be something more #oh man theres so many juicy ways it can go and I KNOW I DID NONE OF THEM #i want to write this whole plot again and make it angstier #(me with everything)#anyway! sorry love you all hope you enjoy it!!

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