#oh man theres so many juicy ways it can go and I KNOW I DID NONE OF THEM

[hailsatanacab]

Family Dinners - dpxdc

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.

The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.

"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.

"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.

"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."

Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.

Ancients, that's so weird!

The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.

Wait. Family dinners?

He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.

"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.

From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.

"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"

"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"

"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."

"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."

The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.

Come on, Danny, recover!

"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."

"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?

"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."

"Costume? What do you mean?"

Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.

"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!

"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.

"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.

His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.

Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"

"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"

"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."

"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.

It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.

It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.

Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.

"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."

Once again, the whole table falls into silence.

"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"

"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"

"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."

Danny's grin freezes in place.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."

"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"

Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.

"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.

"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."

An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.

"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."

"What did happen?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."

"How long in the future was it?"

"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.

Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"

"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."

"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."

"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"

"What?"

"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."

Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.

"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.

"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."

"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"

"Damian, stop—"

"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."

"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."

"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.

"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."

"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."

"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."

"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #batpham #hailsatanacrab🦀🦀writes #look. this has been in my mind for so long guys so long - and idk if its canon that the batfam have codes for time travel situations or what #but i feel like ive seen it before and if its not canon it should be #so here - how i think that would be funny to go down #i have so many thoughts about TUE and its place in a dpxdc crossover like holy shit there's so many ways it can go!! #i have another wip in the works thats kinda similar to this but with superman and i cannot wait to work on it again #there are so many ways i wanted this to go but i just couldnt get there - i wanted to keep it on the shorter side but like #perhaps ill have to expand #i just love the idea that like. theres a stranger at your table who knows you and knows you well. who knows the secret that youd die to keep #there's a stranger at your table and he says something and you know he's family. you know you're strangers but now... #now you have to be something more #oh man theres so many juicy ways it can go and I KNOW I DID NONE OF THEM #i want to write this whole plot again and make it angstier #(me with everything) #anyway! sorry love you all hope you enjoy it!!

[red-dyed-sarumane]

okay! i've finally finished the southern reach trilogy & want to thought dump bc thats what i do when i enjoy things 👍 im going to assume most people have not read this & explain as such

i'll be real i only picked this up bc i saw the movie based off the first book & was like "well huh" & then couldnt get the idea of an environment that just... refracts everything back and in on itself is just. so cool. it's such a cool idea. so when i saw in the credits it was based off a book i HAD to go read it the concept was too interesting i had to know what was in the book they couldnt translate to the movie

i got such a treat oh my god.

something that stood out to me pretty quickly, given im into a completely separate other series where none of the characters have public names, is that, iirc the movie DID give names but the whole first book theres no names. they each have a profession & are called as such. even as we get names in later books, only one of the og characters is ever named and the biologist thats one of the most important characters is simply that. the biologist. & it means absolutely nothing in terms of how impersonal or deep the character feels. because shes utterly complete and herself. respectable. i like that.

but most importantly the world, oh my god the world. the movie has its own not entirely off base take on it. different and yet similar enough. if u like fucked up worlds im recommending this 200% its just SO fascinating. its a little area cut off from the rest of the real world they call area x & it is protected by a sort of boundary but its. self refraction of things doesnt even begin to cover what its got going on. i dont even know how to describe it right. theres THINGS just so many unexplainable things, you think the area is out to get them but it ends up more like... the area's attempt at self preservation at the cost of the other, the intruders. like the whole thing is self aware.

the plants & terrain arent ever changing, not anymore than they would be with time, & not all of the animals are some fucked up threat out to get them. the area itself is the threat, impossible things in the sky, ocean, shadows weaving into the world & messing up whoever happens to come into contact with it. weird inexplicable things happening to those they send in to explore.

and at first it seems like a survivors came back wrong story. like whatever's in there, whatever fucked them up did so to such an extent none of the survivors even live long. which is fascinating in its own right like what is it that harms them to such an extent. & ur introduced to all the weird monsters & occurrences in a way thats like. well this things out to get them. & u need to know more.

& man the more the next 2 books give u is just so INTERESTING.

but first i have to say i hated the corporate mind games that took up 2/3 of the second book. hard to get through. johns such a man baby sometimes & its so frustrating seeing him just decide pieces of the puzzle are no use to him & getting rid of them. sick of his shit. i dont like him much in the 3rd book either but fine whatever.

the last 1/3 of the second book & like all of the third had the same "no what!?!? ur kidding!?!?" reaction as the first book had & was again interesting & easy to get through. LOTS of juicy secrets & info that ties things together & makes it make as much sense as it can & ends off in such a solid way, not without questions, but with a sense that even if those questions were answered, it wouldn't make any difference, would be maybe a trivia fact more than some grounding breakthrough.

also to whom it matters the cast is pretty diverse & natural about it, having them just be people in a situation & not relying on that to be a selling a point like i see in posts all the time here.

im going to get into spoilers here

the nature of area x is so interesting to me. the time paradox, the fact that time moves in a linear fashion and yet the area contains so much passage of time that just. doesnt match the outside world. the shock of grace saying she'd been there 3 years when it'd only been weeks and yet all the signs proved she wasnt lying. the way how suddenly all the decay & change in the area held just that much more weight to it. that things were even less what they seemed. that lended to knowing the biologist's 30 years in there vastly outweighed the real world's time. that part saying that people couldve lived there, lived out whole full lives between the time the border/area was created & when it was first explored because if the time difference just really hit me for some reason. its such a weird space.

and how the area handles people, not the book but the area, how it gets inside them, turns them into something else. learning that what came back from expeditions wasnt the originals. that the area got inside the people who went in & changed them into something completely unrecognizable. turned into a pig slug hybrid with only their face intact, into an owl, into some Thing writing in life itself on tunnel(tower) walls, into a giant fucking whale that can exist wherever it wants to. the fact that, initially, these are viewed as some fucked up creation recreated from who died there, only to be revealed that these forms ARE the original people and they ARE still alive, just in this new form, and while its implied they may not have the same frame of consciousness as people, its also not stated thats 100% the case- that no outsider can know for sure because people can only know people(or at least hope to know people). the whole concept that the originals have become part of the area living there or dying there in this new way, while the world creates copies of them, sends them back to the real world, fools everyone into thinking these copies are the originals, that something just happened to them and somethings not right anymore. that even when ones like the biologist's copy admits they arent the same person, no one believes them. thats so wild. & its framed that 3 people made it back for real, no copies involved, but the only one with any proof is the director. sure whitby & lowry have life spans unlike other "survivors" but at the same time, its also said theres no real way of knowing if the real or copy whitby lived, & iirc the footage seemed to imply lowry was different on the way back too although i guess that could be attributed to stress but its not like the things he says are very trustworthy either. anyway thats just to wild & intriguing to me, that while they're off living or fighting for life or dying, theres a copy of them they arent even aware of, creating a different truth of them to the outside world. neat concept.

the lighthouse keepers story, the way it all started, that kind of got to me. the way he was just doing his best at his job & the more and more u read u know its about to catch up, he about to be consumed by this & start its spread, and theres nothing anyone can do about it. and god the letter to him at the end. i came here to be fascinated and yet that final moment of human respect across people who were no longer people got to me & i ended up crying. which may be stupid of me. but i LOVE when a world can draw u in so thoroughly & then have characters to get caught up in & care about too.

& i love that the nature of this area is so bizarre that, even when things are stated as directly as possible , u think for a moment the narrator is hallucinating or or being vivid & only to moments later have it shoved it ur face that no, thats the reality, thats word for word whats happening. i had a LOT of "what in the actual fuck" moments & they were jarring of course, as they were meant to be for such a peculiar world, but jarring in the way that drew u in more, made u need to know more.

basically i had a good time & this is going to be constantly in my mind or at least in the back of it. a lot more going on then im saying here & if ur into fucked up world building then definitely give it a chance at least

#this isnt an analysis post this is more of a review if anything #there was one line like 'even a perfect copy cant truly become the real one' & i immediately went omg just like d-ne shuuenpro #theres a LOT of things in here that had me thinking of aru sekai too but that may be the nature of sci-fi stories #the third book had quite a few lines that really hit me. #the single sentence 'The uselessness of guilt' #the paragraph about shes always alone & no one will ever come to help & the only way is forward #etc. we like that.

[jeffhane]

dynasty live watching: an incoherent post so that i’m not spoiling people on the twitter tl (i doubt any of this will be chronological or coherent enough to actually contain spoilers but better safe than sorry!)

oh my god the “previously on” - i forgot abt fallon and evan....

Theyre at a FUNERAL??? this was actually predicted but oh my god. if its steven i am going to be so mad. what an unfitting end to the- WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS? what was that font;;;;:; whes sueiwjwk

copper arch🥵🥵🥵

this is cute. this is cute i like faloon pretty women so true

BYE I FORGOT ABT THIS VASE

fallon is genuinely such a bad person this is so bizarre,,,, i think she needs to calm down about oiterally everything ever

“This wedding is our chance to break the cycle of craziness” babe ur literally the one making the cycle of craziness

w. was that an ikmenn of liam getting his head off

JEFF MY BELOVED HE LOOKS STUNNING IN THAT OUTFIT. WHYS ALEXIS HERW “POWER COUPLE” YOU WERID MANIPULATIVE PERSON GET AWAY FROM HIM LOL

alexis is up to no good. bad bad jpeg. why do they write her dialogue like this

adam is acted so well lmao he’s the most unhinged person to ever exist *screams*

ohhh dominique, i don’t remember much abt her 😭😭😭 this woman she’s with is beautiful

ITS LAGGING????? i cannot Believe tjis

~rebrand~ ok girlboss!!!!!!!!! can we ship this businesswoman i dont recall her name with fallon???? id like that i think

too many plotlines have happened in too many minutes, i’m already forgettint things that have happened... isn’t blake supposed to be in prisoj? no? Ok: sure

adam is constantly doing this expression that is like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 HI SAM HI SAM HI SAM BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVE HIM WHOS THIS MAN

raf is so stunning ughhhh i’m loving the costumes this season, everyone looks great! is this man a sam love interest? nervous? that is kinda cute. i miss stevej though. sadness. so many emotions

UHHHH hi alexis sure ig ur here

~OMENS~ babe that’s a tad dramatic don’t you think?????????? “Ignore the lore at your own peril” alright

WHOS THAT? WHOS THAT? OH HER OK

bye everything is going wrong for this......:..:::... *rubs hands together evilly* that will certainly be entertaining

credit scene!!! such a beautiful cast! where’s anders, oh how i miss him... i miss monica too wasn’t she supposed to be BACK🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🤨🤨

its a commercial break... havent had to watch the show with these for so long😑😑😑. getting american ads is so funny bc the vast majority of them are Not at all relevant... at all

BACK TO DYNASTY!!!!!! was that a slinky? huh? oh ok that’s why the marriage is happening at the manor. #whenyouonlyhaveoneset oh hi ok monica so shes not going to be here?????😑😔😳

WHY IS SHE GETTING A CAR I FEEL LIKE THATS FORESHAWDOIWIJG FOR UMMMMM.... NOT GOOD THINGS ..... ITS LAGGING AGAIN 🤨

blake having dinner... ok hi cristal,,,,; is the priest subplot back? that was a weird one

adam???? how on earth does adam work his way into everything? NEXT GUEST? HUH? are you cheating on your wife? HI CULHANE! HI!

“straight people are exhausting” i mean yes, objectively, absolutely, but culhane is #notstraight .... idk how i feel about sam and this man. also what? huh? staying here? ok cool ig

OHHHHH he got married i see i see

“Haven’t you milked the carrington cow already” but....... she is literally the person who deserves the stuff..... k......... i don’t like dominique but she was given the short end of the stick also blake stop manipulating people just bc they tell u the truth😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

frustrated that we haven’t seen fallon in any non-wedding related stuff yet i always liked her more ~dramatic~ plots . like she’s a sweetheart but i do want her to evolve beyond thsi. idk if that makes sense. ok bye

“A relative’s happy marriage” uh???? we live in a society😔📈

who is father lynch<3333 oh he is in the hospital that’s not great oh adam upset that’s new /s

y is kirby dressed like an elf. god bless.

ughhhh i just think adam is not good for kirby. he’s not good in general. so true . what is he up to. ads again hhhhhhhhhh💯

omg we are back!!!!! blake wear the suit!! hi liz!!! i’ve seen pictures of this outfit, it looks nice. “I really want things to work out with liam” now that would be great but you’re in a soap opera so the chances of that are .... I DONT EVEN ONOW IF U CAN WEATHER ANYTHING W CRISTAL...)))))!$$ NOT NECESSARILY THE BEET CHOICE????

~technically it wasn’t cancelled~ alright love i feel as though you’re not telling the full truth here. ok his name is ryan . we know that now . cool . this relationship is awkward but it could be sweet

what the Fuck is dominique talking about this is so creepy😭😭😭 please do not market lingerie to ur niece 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 why does no one in this show know how to be polite

“You want me to stake my personal assets” i’m sure this would be meaningful if i knew anything about finance????? WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT WAIT DHE REHEARING THE SAM DONS G THE SONG ALEXIS DONT INTERRUPT HER SINGING THE SONG🧐😔😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥰🥰🤬😤😤😤😤😤😤

~duplicitous sham~ that’s quite a juicy phrase ms fallon. alexis i dislike your marriage. and you in fact. yes x . “We were just like any other newlyweds” except the newlywed factor........:

anders. oh my god i adore him so much. he reminds me of my grandfather . YES adam is dangerous. anders i love you so much. be my grandfather figure. top 10 cool old dudes of all time.

liz is so beautiful how am i suppised to “Focus” on the “storyline” kirby just went 🥰🥰 also hi culhane ily babe

“My father’s convinced adam is pure evil” you see, that is......... trueeeee...........:.::: im sorry culhane ily love

this dialogue unfortunately does not flow all that well LOL . people dont think up things like this on the fly “my love is like that boutineer” sir i guarantee that metaphors r not going to save ur relationship... HI sam. so true. hi ily. samhane? culsam? 😳😳

DONT STEAL ANDERS SPOT OH HI JEFF YOU LOOK STUNNING.......... BEAUTIFUL BOY ....... HI!!!! ~you are the only family you’ve ever needed~ shit none of this wouldve happened if the Carringtons werent so greedy ij the first place

~true love has many faces~ how many anti liam omens can they sneak in into the episode 😭😭😭😭 hi laura whats up

the poor waiters at this establishment...... why does laura look like a rlly young version of my grandma........: huh.... wont think abt it /... alexis bad mom.jpeg

“I don’t want to miss my sons special day” ok bye i don’t #care she’s kind of rude

fallon trying to avoid future drama is confusing to me as that used to be her ENTIRE THING? HUH??? everyones talking to their moms today what the heck do that many people talk to their moms???

jeff hiiiii <333 that maroon suit!!!!! love!!!!!

Dont hurt anders you strange little evil man!!!!!!!!!!! (Adam, for reference)

fallon likes to ~e n u n c i a t e~ her dialogue. Drama Teachers Love Her

FIRBY SCENE! WELL THEY R TALKINF! UWU ! UWU ! smiles:) smiiiiiles:) the height difference i cannot do this😑😊😊😊🕯🕯🕯 BYE

BueirHWIIDWJDIWIFJWIFJWJJFWJFJWJDJWJDJWIFJWJFJWJDKWJDJWDJJWHDWHDHWHEHWHDHWJDJWJRJWJEJWJDJQUEUWJEJWJEJW CRIES SOBS SCREAMS THIS OS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Kirby you dumbass😭😭😭😭😭 ALEXIS WUDIWNDJW JEFF CAN YOU NOT HEF FCANKREMTIWN WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE IM SCREAMIGNRJFJD

kirby babe you are the kist imorjri WHQT? HUH? when all the characters have the maturity of a 13 yr old <33333 DID THE SHOW JUST END?????? OK.... DAMN.... they were really 2 minutes away from the end and remembered that things are supposed to happen in tv show episodes.... i cannot tell whether it os over actually?????? huh??? going to keep watching because it would be so embarrassing if i missed a few minutes oh yeah theres more

IM SORRY WHYBARE THESE PEOPLE SO STUPID. every single one of them. ih my god l. ohhhh my god . “I never meant to hurt you” you cheated on him. both of them are bad people. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 kirby darling what were you thinking . this dress on kirby is STUNNING ugh, she’s so charming . adam Shut the fuck up. He hasn’t said anything but shut the fuck up. OH MY GOD ADAM SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD I HATE ADAM SO MUXH. OH MY GOD HOW IS HE THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 HES SO EVIL

“I didn’t want to tell you because i didnt want you to think of me as a monster” why did you do that stuff then bro . Kirby you SHOULDNT trust someone after they say that? How naive? Huh ?

omg hello jeffs grandma!!!!! she deserves better than every shitshow in this family... god🤨 dominique being a good person? i like to see that. she seems so genuine. ok this is nice . wait... SAFE? 😳😳😳😳 💴 💵 #money i miss monica

why do they never have sufficient lifhting in WAIT..... HER?????? #dumbofass HI JEFF <33333333 HI you can scam and whatever ur allowed to i support u

ooohhhh GORGEOUS fallon outfit

“Such a fail” IS THIS 2012 . CRINE HEIDJWJFIWNDWJDNWKFJW ENJDJSDJWJNDJWJD they keep saying folklore and im thinking its some sort of reference to the album and i get confused. wheres scheming fallon. need scheming fallon. do a scheme. do it

“We are that lucky couple” press x to doubt .... wait who is this🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this seems cincerning im cocnentwd why did it zoom in on this random man

#how many ads are there you ask? #too many #i never watch things live #this is .... a lot #american cell service is so cheap #cruella de vil ad😭 #how does the cw app work #more ads ig #i dont have the attention span to remember what happened before the ads

[tartxglia]

Ethereal // Bang Chan

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Genre: Smut

Requested: No

Words: 2,905

Warnings: Smut, oral (male receiving)

Stray Kids Surprise Live!

찬이의 “방” 🐺 Ep. 25

The notification that buzzed your phone catches your eye and you raise an eyebrow as you click it open. The app loads up to a close-up of Chan who stands directly in front of the camera, his chest and biceps covering the whole screen as he shows off his Stray Kids tank top. Fuck, his biceps. You could see the natural curve of his muscles, and the way they moved as he flexed. The pixelated screen could only do so much justice to the real thing but even so it was enough make your breath hitch. You’d seen it yourself many times, Chan slept shirtless after all, but perhaps you’d never get used to it.

"Pineapple juice, one of my favourite juices!"

Woah, you’re sure he meant that in a completely normal way–just like how your favourite juice is mango–but your mind is quick to wander and fill your head with some other rumours surrounding pineapple juice. You push the thought aside for now and instead continued watching the live as he now went on a whole lecture about the cleansing properties of pineapple juice.

“Pineapple juice, you know what I mean.”

This time, you can’t help the snort as you register his words. Oh you definitely did know what he meant. A small voice at the back of your head wondered whether Chan was feeling sexually frustrated in the studio before he started this live, but if he were he would’ve texted you. Either way, you were sure some STAYs were going to have a field day over this clip. But it doesn't take long before your suspicion stopped seeming so silly because now the guy was talking about–

“Peaches…” Chan’s overdramatic ass lets out a wistful sigh as he things about peaches, probably craving for the juicy fruit. Then he brings up his hands in a grabbing motion, as if he was holding peaches in them. You being the dirty minded person you were, of course you had long-since linked “peach” with its urban synonym “ass.” Now, his hand grabbing motion left little to imagination as you recalled all the times Chan had you straddled on his lap, the two of you deep in a make-out session and his large hands kneading you ass, pushing your hips to grind into his. A few seconds later and the lick of his lips signs your death warrant as a strong feeling washes over you. Fuck, the power Chan had over you should be illegal. 

“I don’t know if you guys realised, but I have a really thick vein here.” Chan points to his temple, bending close to the camera as he tries to showcase how “vascular” he was. You swear this man had a vein kink. Every so often, perhaps as the two of you sat on the couch watching TV or during the sleepy haze of early mornings, you ran you hands up and down his arm tracing his veins. Chan would always find it amusing, looking down at you fondly or softly rubbing his thumb across your arm as you trailed up and down his veins, sometimes pressing down on the protruding vessel. 

But soft was the farthest description of how you were feeling. Bang Chan? Looking this good? Talking about pineapple juice, peaches, and now a vein kink? God had left the chatroom a long while ago and now you were left in an uncomfortable situation; you wanted to head over to the studio since Chan was obviously sexually frustrated and now so were you, but he was still in the middle of his vlive. With a deep sigh and an exaggerated groan, you sink further into the couch of Stray Kid’s dorm. Chan was only a few minute walk from here but you had to wait it out; so close yet so far.

You decided to spend the rest of your time waiting it out, getting yourself comfortable on the large leather couch as you watched Chan talk about his DIY Stray Kids tank top, bop along to a few of the new Stray Kids tracks, and give a few anecdotes and inspirational words. God he looked so pretty it was unfair. His hair was swept to fall over his forehead in the most perfect way, his eyebrows powerfully coloured and his eye make-up on point. To top it all off, he’d discuss about the music he made and the Lord knows you always found it hot when he talked technical or passionately.

Twenty minutes later and you were just about at your limit. This had to be classified as torture–for you at least–and as much of a masochist you tended to be in bed, everybody had their limits. You nibble on your bottom lip in thought as a thought crosses your head and you wonder if you should go forward with it. You didn’t know how Chan might react but to hell with it. You swipe away from the vlive, the live video minimising to a pop-up hover video as you navigate over to your messaging app.

If you can wrap it up in the next 10 minutes I’ll be omw to the studio and suck you off.

Your finger hesitates for a millisecond over the send button but in the end, it gets delivered anyway. Your eyes move back to the mini live video hovering over the messaging app and you wait as the text you sent gets delivered. You watch as Chan pauses between sentences for a moment, his attention briefly drawn to something else. Simultaneously, the delivered tick mark turns blue signifying that he had read it and your heart speeds up a bit in anticipation. Soon after, Chan announces the next song to be the last and you can’t help but let a cocky smirk grow on your face.

“I feel like I’m gonna have to go a bit early but um…”

And with that being said, you collected your essentials from Chan’s bedside table, put on a thin outerwear and were out the door off towards the JYP building.

“Uhm…Thank you STAYs, thank you babystays! And I’ll see you guys tomorrow! Bye bye~"

You have your earphones plugged into your phone as you watch Chan bid his farewell on vlive just as you entered the JYP building. The building is lit up just enough for the hallways in front to be visible and you weren’t surprised–it was around midnight and long past regular working hours. When you finally reached Chan’s favourite studio, you first peaked in through the glass pane to find Chan’s side profile as he focused on the large monitor that his laptop was connected to. You tug the thick heavy door open then slip through, the sound letting Chan know of your arrival.

“You couldn’t have been more subtle?” Theres a swing to your hips as you approach Chan with eyebrows raised. You drop your sling bag down onto the closest single leather chair before making your way towards Chan who had swivelled his chair to face you. “STAY are gonna go insane with all the innuendos you made this live.

“Hmmm,” Chan hums as he grabs you who now stands right at the edge of his wheeled-chair. His arms naturally wrap around your waist and rest on your hip as he gazes up at you. “It got you here, didn’t it?” The words are softly spoken and his voice is husky, pulling you closer to him. 

“Well, I can’t have your fans thinking you’re some kind of horny sex-deprived man.”

A throaty chuckle escapes from Chan and you see the lust swim in his darkened eyes, “We definitely can’t have that.” In a flash, his one of his hands drops from your waist to your knee. He tugs the back of your knee, bending your leg as he pulls you down to have you straddled on top of him. His other hand climbs up to the side of your neck, guiding your head closer to lock lips with you.

The first touch is gentle, his lips just barely brushing against yours, but it seems to spark a flame in him. His hand cradles your head, his fingers buried in your hair from the side of your neck and his thumb caressing your cheeks as he pushes the two of you closer. The kiss is a lot more heated and continues to grow intense, the flame in the pit of your stomach burning stronger and stronger. Chan sucks on your lip, pulling it into his mouth to toy with it as he nibbles on your lip with his teeth, only to later softly caress it with his tongue. 

You return the kiss with just as much passion, settling yourself comfortably on his lap like second nature and running your fingers through his bleached hair. A sharp tug of his hair has Chan groaning into your mouth–he always loved it when you tugged his hair–and you eat it all up, opening your mouth wider. Your tongue reaches out, slipping into Chan's hot mouth and the two of you get carried away sucking, grazing, dancing. A particularly rough grinding of your hips has Chan pulling away from you, all clammy and panting from the make-out session you just had. This sight in front of you is beautiful and you'd never get used to it. 

"You gonna live up to your promise, babygirl?" He groans, leaning forward into your neck which makes the latter half of his sentence muffled. As soon as he's done speaking, his mouth attaches onto the skin of your neck in a wet, open mouthed kiss–the first of many. 

You throw your head back, giving Chan more access to the rest of your neck. "Of course," your voice is just a whisper, barely able to function considering the trail of hickeys Chan is placing up and down your neck. You let him have his fun for a while, marking you as his with no regard for how hard it would be for you to hide the marks later. Just as you had previously enjoyed the groans from Chan whenever you tugged on his hair, now he was basking in the melodic sounds of your moans bouncing off the soundproof studio walls. 

A little while later, you place a hand on Chan's shoulder and gently push him away, his mouth detaching from your neck with a shlick sound. He stares up at you with a dark gaze, his eyes hooded in a lustful haze and you look down at him, committing the sight in front of you to memory. A notification sound from his laptop behind you snaps him out of it, his eyes drifting behind you to the large monitor. His eyes skim the notification before checking the time. 

"Fuck, it's 2AM already?" One of his arms remains looped around your waist as he runs the other through his hair in frustration. "I need to finish the melody done for this song tonight."

Before the poor guy in front of you can spiral into a hole of panic and worry, you cup his face and pull his focus back to you. You can see the tension on his forehead, his eyebrows tauntly brought together due to the stress of the situation and you smooth your fingers over them. 

"Hey, it's okay. You'll get it done, don't worry about it." Your hand moves from his eyebrows to delicately brush stray hair's away from his eyes and you can practically feel him slump as he attempts to internalize your words. You grip his chin, tilting his face up a little more as you gaze down at him. "You just do your work, and I'll help you de-stress." 

You watch as Chan thinks over your words, the expression on his face transitioning from confused to realization to excited in a second. A sly smirk grows on his face and you smile back at him in response, getting off his lap to kneel down between his spread legs all while holding eye-contact with him. 

Just the sight of you on your knees has him riled up and he releases a guttural groan while you shuffle back under the desk. Your hands move to the legs of the chair and you pull it towards you, towards the desk so Chan can continue working. But you leave a bit of space too because you want to watch Chan crumble  because of your mouth–an otherwise rare opportunity. 

The sound of mouse clicks let's you know that Chan is working again–or at least trying to–and you take that as a sign to get started. You slowly drag your hands up his thighs, taking the time to caress his strong thigh muscles and raking your nail up and down. The feeling sends shives down Chan's spine and he automatically flexes his thighs, giving you more to admire. 

When your hands finally reach the one place Chan had been wishing for you to touch, it's only soft caresses and brushes. The frustration builds until you hear Chan growl your name from above the table in warning, "Y/N." And that's all it takes for you to obey. 

Your fingers are quick to unbutton and loosen his pants, having done it countless times before. You dip your hand into his boxers and finally pull his length out. The sight instantly has your mouth watering; it's the perfect length, having reached unimaginable depths inside you, and his girth gave you just the right amount of stretch. His dick stood painfully upright, the veins decorating it thick and bulging, and you realized that no wonder the guy was sexually frustrated. Chan had an insane sex drive–you should know–and with comeback promotions keeping him busy, the two of you hadn't had much time together. 

Not to keep him waiting any longer, you lean forward and give the tip of his cock a lick, getting a taste of the pre-cum oozing out. "You can do better than that, Kitten." Chan's words are half-encouraging and half-snarky but you submit to his demands, slipping his cock slowly into your mouth. 

The feeling of your hot mouth swallowing down on his cock has Chan's eyes rolling back in pleasure, his head thrown back on the back of his chair. The sound of mouse clicking and keys pressing pauses for a moment as Chan relishes in being balls-deep inside your mouth. 

"Shit, babygirl," you can hear the breathiness in his voice and you feel pride in knowing you have such an effect on him. With added motivation, you quicken the pace and now you're bobbing your head up and down Chan's cock. His girth stretches your mouth wide open but it makes sucking him easier and so you do just that. You suck, hallowing your walls around the length of his cock and you're awarded with a delicious growl. "You're doing good, baby, you take me so well." 

One of Chan's hand slips under the desk, caressing your hair and taking control over the pace at which you bobbed on his length. With one hand controlling you and the other working in the music software in front of him, all you can do is keep your jaw open as this man uses your mouth for his pleasure.

Sometimes he sets a hard and fast pace, pushing your head up and down to ruthlessly fuck into your mouth. Othertimes he lazily pulls and pushes your hair, letting himself completely feel the way your mouth hugs onto his cock. And from time to time, he would push your head down only to keep it there, your nose buried in the destination if his happy trail as he has you deepthroat him. You moan on his cock, swallowing around the head and also gagging but it all only serves to make Chan more turned on than he already is. 

After playing around with you and your mouth for what seemed like forever, he finally let's go of the vice grips he had on your hair. His hand goes back up to his computer as he pressed keys here and there, playing around with the melody. 

"Finish me off, babygirl." 

You don't dare to disobey his orders, placing your hand on his thigh as you guided his cock back into your warm cavern. You set a fast pace, slathering your saliva up and down his whole cock, sucking the head, sucking his whole cock into your mouth, humming as you deepthroated him. With the way you worshipped his cock in the final moments, it didn't take long for Chan to finally cum. 

You had licked up his veins, sucked the head of his dick, and finally bobbing back down to take his whole cock into your mouth when he exploded. As expected from a high sex-drive man, his cock squirted ropes  and ropes of thick white cum into your mouth–and briefly you wanted it to be inside you, breeding you. You swallowed most of it but also let a few drops slide out of your mouth, hanging out the side of your mouth. 

Chan looks down to see the sight, you with some of his cum dripping down your chin after having just worshipped his cock. Your hair a whole mess from when he had grabbed onto it and used it to fuck into your mouth. He thought you'd never looked more beautiful, more ethereal. 

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop smut #stray kids chan smut #skz chan smut #stray kids x reader smut #skz x reader smut #stray kids chan x reader smut #stray kids bang chan x reader smut #skz chan x reader smut #skz bang chan x reader smut #chan x reader smut #bang chan x reader smut #chan smut #bang chan smut

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

[thepleasureisguilty]

A Day of Pampering Chapter 7:

Part of an ongoing rp between @ask-a-slippery-boy and myself

Chapter 1:(SFW)  https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180404620744/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-1-insomnia-and-a-night

Chapter 2: (SFW) https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180491298229/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-2-bathe-in-the-baths

Chapter 3: (NSFW ish): https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180609254064/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-3-turning-tables-in

Chapter 4: (NSFW)

https://ask-a-slippery-boy.tumblr.com/post/180612617105/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-4-love-languages

chapter 5 : (SFW ish)

https://ask-a-slippery-boy.tumblr.com/post/180645825730/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-5-seven-minutes-in

chapter 6: (SFW):  https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180782130404/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-6-the-counts-new

this one is SFW: contains feasting with a countess and  making Devoraks blush.

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I jump a little as you squeeze me but I don’t make a sound. I hold your arm as we follow Nadia down lucio’s hallway and to the dining room. Servents scurry around and Nadia grabs one and tells them to find Portia and have her join us.*

*The dining room is also fairly busy. We are seated across from Nadia near the end of the table.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I sit next to you, holding your hand under the table and watching the servants scurry about and having this sensation of wanting to help *

11/13/2018

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Pasha comes through the doors in a hurry* “Countess, you called for me?” *she looked a little flustered, like she may have ran a bit to get here*

*Nadia held up her hand to calm her.* “To join us, for dinner.” *She gestures to the seat besides her. Portia blushed and walked over to the seat only then realizing who “us” accompanied*

“What??? Ilya??? Mast??? You both look so good! Ilyusha I didn’t even know you could wear at color..”

*nadia smirked* “they do look rather good don’t they? I dressed them up after I found them rummaging around in lucio’s closet of all places...”

*portia gave us a look and a gesture which I returned with a shrug*

thepleasureisguilty

*i wave at portia and give a guilty smile when she gestures at us*

Haha there really is no excuse portia *I shrug as well still grinning*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia narrows her eyes at us, as if to say that she doesn’t buy that there isn’t some wild story involved, knowing us.* *Nadia simply looks amused at the whole situation.* “So, Mast, you mentioned you run a lounge? Please tell me more.”

thepleasureisguilty

*i flush* oh i do, its a very... Underground business. An artist collective of sorts where the group can make a few bucks and have a place to practice their art. *I try to skirt past the fact that we feast on the leftovers of nobles*

If you ever would like a portrait done Nadia, i would be honored to assist

*my eyes go up to the painting in the dining room* that was commissioned by lucio wasnt it? ... *I smile* I can tell by the color scheme and composition

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia and and I devolve into making strange expressions at each other. A wordless conversion that is essentially a back and forth of “what did you do?” And “I didn’t do anything”*

thepleasureisguilty

*my eyes occasionally switch between you two and i laugh to myself*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia looks thoughtful.* “I do appreciate the underground resurgence of art in this city. I always find the most interesting things there. Theaters, markets, alike. I’d be very interested to see what yours is like.” *She looks a little surprised when you offer to make her portrait and laugh when you say the one on the wall was obviously commissioned by Lucio.* “you’ve only spend a few minutes in his closet and already you can tell the man’s taste. How amusing.”

*Portia surfaces from our “conversation”* “Mast is really talented, my lady! They drew Pepe and I the other night.” *Nadia smiles* “well I’ll have to consider it, since they come so highly recommended.”

thepleasureisguilty

*I blush a bit at the praise and smile* id be happy to sketch you sometime to show you my talents Nadia. Then you may determine for yourself if it is justified

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She seems pleased* we’ll have to make an appointment of some sort.

*Servants come in with carts. They set down wide but shallow bowls of creamy soup. They set down glasses of fine white wine to pair with it, and vanish quickly as they appear*

thepleasureisguilty

*I inspect the food, the smell is rich in spices and fish* cream of scallop? *I venture the guess smiling*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia nods* “You must have a good pallet. That is correct.” * the soup is delicious. I make a satisfied sigh as I eat, but that might also be because I can hold your thigh under the table without anyone noticing*

thepleasureisguilty

*I humm happily as you hold my thigh and i taste the soup, it is great. Highly doubt this batch would ever be sent back to the lounge *

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I trace circles into your inner thigh. I have such a hard time keeping my hands off of you, I’m actually surprised we ever make it outside sometimes* Delicious, as always. Thank you for the invite Nadia, your hospitality is greatly appreciated.

*Portia nods* “And thank you for inviting me to join you too! It’s nice to get a quiet moment with you *she blushes* e - everyone I mean

thepleasureisguilty

*I give a glance to nadia as though to let her know portia wasn’t talking about me or her brother* indeed ... More wine for anyone? *i stand and reach for the carafe *

*i refill your glass* I imagine you two don’t get many quiet moments *i grin slyly* running a city is exhausting and im sure portia feels it too being your right hand

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia is very perspective. Your Portia’s comment, along with your glance, do not go unnoticed to her. Everyone thanks you for the refill.* “Oh not at all!” *Portia insists* “Helping my lady is no trouble at all! Especially when she works so hard to keep the city together. You should see all the work she’s gotten done this last week! It’s incredible!” *Nadia flushes a bit under her praise* “Nonsense, Portia. You work very hard for me.” *there’s a low purr in her voice. I might not be particularly perceptive, but even I pick up on that little subtly* *I arch and eyebrow at Portia, who blushes deeply*

thepleasureisguilty

*i smile... Checkmate.... My brow raises to portia too* oh dont worry portia, i know for a fact how much you enjoy working for the countess, nothing you have told me would ever make me think you didnt enjoy your job *I smile earnestly knowing that my point has been made And the ball has began to roll*

*I sit back down and put my hand on your thigh, under the table*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She turns bright red under our combined gaze. Nadia observes this with amusement and a mischievous curl of her lip. I could pick out a Dom Face (tm) from miles away. I’m deeply uninterested in knowing whatever she may be imagining for my baby sister, but I am glad to know that Nadia may be interested. If anyone would treat Pasha right, and give her the spoiling she deserves, it’s Nadia. Under the table, I put my hand on yours, and intertwine our touching legs. I attempt to act oblivious to all the different tensions happening at the table and work on finishing my soup*

thepleasureisguilty

*I try to hide a smirk with finishing my soup and drinking the wine, i intertwined our fingers together and reciprocate the leg touching, i am not acting oblivious at all to all the tensions in the room. I watch nadia, observing her Dom face gawking at the blushing portia... I trust that she will tell her how she feels when the time feels right. As for me and you... Everyone already knows were fucking.. No mystery to it and i like it that way... I like the fact that we and everyone knows we want eachother and it is simply up to us to determine when and how*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*As we finish our soup, servants re enter and take the bowls from us. They replace them with plates of roasted lamb, accompanied by many different sauces and sides of jeweled rice. I favor a minty yogurt for mine dish.*

thepleasureisguilty

*my mouth waters as i look at the plate* so... Did you know roasted lamb was my favorite meal countess?

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia looks surprised* “I did not, but I am glad to hear it. Hopefully it is cooked to your liking.”

thepleasureisguilty

*i cut open the meat, juice pours from it and the center is a bright pink color with charred edges* perfection....

ask-a-slippery-boy

“Ah I am happy to hear it. You are my guest, and I would prefer to to afford you as much luxury as I can.” *Nadia says*

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile, nod, and shamelessly dig in. The noise i make is slightly erotic without meaning to be*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I make a sensual satisfied sound that is perhaps a bit too loud when I take the first bite of the lamb. It is delicious. Portia shoots me an unimpressed expression.*

*Nadia smirks and teases* “It seems Portia was not exaggerating when she said the two of you were very well suited for each other.”

thepleasureisguilty

*I swallow and chuckle at nadias comment and look to you lovingly*.... I guess not *i smile and squeeze your hand before diving back into the meat*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I beam back at you, my lips are shiny with the oils of the lamb. Being slightly uncouth next to you? My fantasy come true. This tender moment is slightly interrupted when Nadia says.* “Next time we really ought to invite Asra, and MC as well. Gather the ‘old gang’ as it where.” *I accidentally inhale a grain of rice and choke on it rather ungracefully*

thepleasureisguilty

*the second bite holds all the flavor, it is full bodied and juicy, theres a bit of blood left that leaves a fatty copper taste to it. The texture is divine, the meat is tender and ritch. Garlic, sage, tyme, and rosemary was rubbed into the outside of the slab before being cooked. The roasting process formed a crunchy heavily seasoned layer on the outside and a soft, tender middle...im missing something... It adds to the moisture of the flesh... White wine!... Slits made in the cut towards the end of the cooking process flooded with white wine... Ohh this truly is magnificent. I take a bite of the rice... Olive, garlic, parsley and a creamy dill flavor hit my senses... Little bits of chopped up onion...and the rice is panfried so it has bits of crunch to it... --- my enjoyment of the meal is interrupted by you choking, i offer you my water and rub your back*

ask-a-slippery-boy

A A Asra? *Cough* I-if you so wish it Countess. It um... has been a while. *Nadia raises an eyebrow* “Oh, is there a problem, I had thought the two of you had put your... past behind you.” *I cough a few more times* We did errr that is, we have... *I blush deeply*

thepleasureisguilty

*I raise a brow, before i put two and two together* Asra?

And old lover im assuming *i raise a brow and smirk at you*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I drink some wine to finally stop my choking* The three of us... Nadia, Asra, and I, used to be quite close friends... “Yes,” Nadia chimed in, “This was before Julian ‘murdered’ my husband.” *I flush deeper and deeper* Well things progressed between Asra and I, but the ending was.... a little messy.... “Yes, our Doctor was thoroughly heart broken if I recall correctly.” *Nadia added helpfully* *I shoot her an exasperated expression* It was a long time ago. But... well, that last fight was a little hurtful... we both said things we shouldn’t have.

“And” *added Nadia* “They have spent plenty of time to get her since then. I personally don’t understand where your anxiety stems from.” *Nadia said. I only know that she It attempting to comfort me after knowing her for so long. Her approach is generally logical and a little cold.* “Clearly Asra has let the past go. You should not be worried about what he has left to say to you.”

True. *I pose with my fingers on my forehead dramatically* But it was not Asra’s heart that was broken on that fateful night *Truthfully I don’t know why I’m still scared to see him. Maybe because I know that he’s seen my worst qualities and isn’t afraid to point them out. I hope I can cover any genuine concern by pretending to be overdramatic*

thepleasureisguilty

*damn harsh... Nadias words strike... But your reaction it seems like youve dealt with this before... I give you a look when you overdramatize and bring your hands from your face and into mine* okay drama queen *i smile trying to lighten the mood* if you need to have a long talk with asra to calm your anxieties about him... Then I suggest you do it, it can even be at the lounge if you like... If you dont want to do that then i wont encourage us going on a triple date with him *I smile and touch the bottom of your chin in a "buck up" manner*

But i will have you putting on a one man show to hide your anxiety... Deal? *I smile at you hopeful *

ask-a-slippery-boy

*But do we need to talk? I’m not sure what we would say to each other. I give your hand a squeeze.* I... I don’t know if a heart to heart is exactly what a I need or not, but I’m not opposed to a triple date. *Portia blushes deeply each time we say that word* I think exposure may be the correct therapy here. *I kiss your hands* Nadia is right, we have spent time together since. I don’t think there’s much remaining as far as bad blood goes. *I kiss your hands again* Thank you for being understanding. Don’t let your lamb go cold on my account. *I smile and let you go. Returning back to my food as well*

thepleasureisguilty

*I squeeze your hand reassuringly and glance apologetic at nadia and portia nodding my head at each of them before returning to the lamb*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*they both seems happy that you managed to talk me down. Both have bore witness to how deep I can go into my little tangent. Nadia does not approve of emotional coddling, but she seems to appreciate your problem solving approach. Portia smiles to herself too. *

thepleasureisguilty

*i understand the spiral... The use of theatrics to hide real emotion or make satire out of what your feeling. I also know that one needs to be told they are doing so and given another solution to the issue*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I don’t think I’ve ever been with anyone who really understood the motions of my emotional spirals as well as you do. I squeeze your leg under the table. This isn’t the time to talk about it really, but I do appreciate it. I appreciate you, entirely. I shoot you a loving look.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I reciprocate the squeeze and look back at you smiling* So, when are we planning this triple date or then? *I perk up smiling at Nadia and Portia*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia smirks and Portia turns red* “Hmm... unfortunately I don’t have much as far as free time as of late. I have lots of projects in the works, things Vesuvia desperately need. Finally I’ve removed most of my obstacles in completing them.“

thepleasureisguilty

If there is anything i can assist you with Nadia, please just ask *i smile at her* you have been very...kind to me. I want to be of assistance anyway i can.

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She sighs* “it’s hard to tell what I’ll be needing in the future. But I will keep you in mind should I need use of your skills. Thank you for the offer, Mast. I do look forward to our date” *she made a meaningful glance at Portia, who looked like she may jump out of her skin* “I just cannot guarantee that it will be very soon.” *She smiled mischievously* “And I would like very much to visit your lounge. Portia,” *Portia jumped to attention* “Would you like to attend with me? See what sort of trouble your brother has gotten himself into?”

thepleasureisguilty

*I cant help but grin in semi disbelieve and victory, a heavy sense of accomplishment washing over me as nadia asks*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia gave me a look up and down, eyes lingering on my bite marks* “I’m not sure how much I want to know.”

Nadia laughed. “Yes. I did see perhaps a little too much when I found them earlier...”

“Oh gross!!! I am so sorry my lady! Ilya! I cannot believe you!”

thepleasureisguilty

*I flush and laugh a bit* honestly I think it was a good thing you came in when you did nadia *I blush more very embarrassed and a little proud*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia’s grin deepened, obviously getting a bit of a kick out of grossing out Portia and embarrassing me* “Oh? And why is that, Mast?”

*I turn red*

thepleasureisguilty

*uhoh... Was not expecting that...* uh hhh hmmm *i turn bright red nable to answer, my articulation skills have betrayed me*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia rests her head on her hands and waits patiently for you to answer clearly*

thepleasureisguilty

*i smirk wide and rest my head on my hands in the same fashion* you would have been blind by all the gody things we were trying on in your husbands closet...

Seriously some of the things he owned were quite terrifying. Im only glad you were spared

*i sip my wine raising my eye brows at her*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Pasha pretends to gag. I say nothing, knowing i will only blow your cover if I try and help. Nadia, on the other hand, I’ve never seen such an evil look on her face.* “I assure you the most terrifying things in there were gifts from me. Did you have any favorites?”

thepleasureisguilty

Hmmm *I scratch my chin thoughtfully* I would have to say my favorite gawdy thing in there, that i saw so far* would have to be the large red cloak with white fur and black spots on it with the giant gold lion clasp in the front

*I chuckle while saying it, honestly not knowing if he owned such a thing*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia sighed, disappointed* “Oh I thought you were talking about the flogs. You’re quite right, I hated seeing that dumb cape. A lion? Honestly...”

thepleasureisguilty

Flogs? Oh we didnt get that far! Perhapse you could show us later? If you like *i smile* and agreed *I nod fain knowing what shes talking about* very distasteful

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia places a hand on Portia’s shoulder, who looks as though she may faint* “I’ll think about it, I’d hate to scare dear Portia here. Unless red hair and easily flustered aren’t the only dominant Devorak genes...” *im not particularly surprised that Nadia knows what a massive masochist I am. It’s not exactly a secret. But Pasha... looks confused and terrified. I’d have to tease her about it later.*

*As we finish dinner, servants replace our lamb with delicate little cakes. Each seems to be a different flavor. Mine is white chocolate and raspberry*

thepleasureisguilty

*I chuckle at the situation and turn my attention to the little cake* Mmmm coffee and a dark chocolate

ask-a-slippery-boy

*The cake is good too. I make another sound that could possibly be interpreted as lude. Pasha looks like she could kill me.  * Nadia, this is so delicious, I am continuously impressed with your skillful chiefs.

thepleasureisguilty

*I make a sound at my second bite of the tiny cake* agreed this is a wonderful meal, thank you so much

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia smiles* well thank you for the company. Even if it was... unexpected.

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile back and chuckle* dont worry nadia... Next time we break in we promise to be much more careful not to get caught *I wink at her*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia scoffed* I’d much prefer that you ask me if you may visit. I might even let you use a bath that isn’t covered in a thick layer of dust and Gods knows what else.” *she gives us a meaningful look when she said “what else” that makes me blush.*

*Portia chimes in* What you used Lucio’s /Bath/ too???

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile guiltily at portia* I am of course joking nadia... I would definitely ask your permission first

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia relaxes* “Good I would hate to put my guards on high alert to spot you. It would probably even more embarrassing to be caught by them than by me. They won’t wait until a convenient time to stop you...” *she winks*

thepleasureisguilty

*I laugh embarrassed and turn a bright red again I look at you to see your reaction as well*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I have been caught with my pants down by the palace guards before.* No, they do not. *i state this matter of factly. When I catch your eyes I smile softly at your blush. It’s so damned cute.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I sputter out a laugh at the no they dont attempting not to cackle*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia gave Portia a sympathetic pat* siblings can be difficult

thepleasureisguilty

*poor portia, this entire night she has been embarrassed and practically tormented by nadia.... I know shes loving the attention though*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I decide to cut Portia some slack and give her something else to think about besides Nadia’s close proximity and all the wild sex you and I have been having since we last spoke to her.* It’s been a few days, I have to ask, how is my niece Pepi? Is she happy? Does she miss me?

*Portia rolls her eyes* “Pepi is very happy! Unlike you, I take good care of her!” *I roll my eyes back* you asked me to watch her, and I did. She’s fine. *Portia looks offended* She’s fine because I came home in time to save her from you!

thepleasureisguilty

*I turn to you* ilya? Did you not take care of pepei? *I narrow my gaze at you*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I take a deep breath* I did. I swear.

*Pasha pips in* “He did not! That giant raven of his was going to carry her off!”

No he wasn’t! He’s a good- *I flush, the words “good boy” almost come out of my mouth. I’m a little extra sensitive to the phrase these days* he’s a good bird. And I was watching to make sure anyways... also Malak isn’t even my bird. We’re just friends....

thepleasureisguilty

Malak is a good boy I can say that for a fact. And I'm sure pepei wouldn't let anyone man handle her *I smile*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I shift my posture as you say the phrase. Nadia defiantly notices. Portia pouts* “Even fighters need help sometimes. And Ilya if the Raven is your friend then I’m sure he’s rowdy. He squawks up a storm whenever he sees me.”

*I blink* must be the uniform…

*she narrows her eyes* Ilya that doesn’t make any sense

*Nadia leans on her hands* “It’s hard to say, Portia. Julian seems like a /good boy/. I’m sure he wouldn’t leave your dear Pepi at risk...” *I flush deeply and grab your hand* *Pasha misses the significance* He’s not! He’s loud and rowdy and he drinks to much and everyone know it!

thepleasureisguilty

* give Nadia a protective look and rest my arm on your shoulder* he is portia... * I look at you* and i wouldn't want it any other way

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia simply looks amused. I am turning deeper red by the second. Portia is apparently more oblivious than I am. I clear my throat*

to be continued... 

#rp #mast #julian #mastxjulian #ocrp #foodpron #food porn #thearcana #the arcana

[thedoctorisadhd]

what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue  will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

#once on this island #the storytellers #abby #lydia #dori #natalie #asaka #lavanya #erzulie #luke #erzulio #agwe #ian #papa gay #papa ge #eli #ti moune #sammie #tonton julien #mama euralie #izzy #ben [last name redacted] #mr adam #mangos #seussical #sidne #cat in the hat #hank #daniel #puns

[thehooliganhangoutspot]

I Know What You Did In Vegas: THE ENDING (Sorry for it being so damn long literally)

*Bruno's phone rings* Bruno picks up phone: Hello Personal event organizer: Hey, Brunooo! What the fuck is uppp man! You having a good time at your little vacation Bruno smiles: Yea man, of course. Whats up! Haven't heard from you in a while... Personal event organizer: Well see, i hate to break up you guys fun butttt believe it or not, you need to squeeze in slime tour advertising. You guys have a sort of... Well you can call it "press conference" but theres only gonna be your biggest fans there. They ask you questions, you answer them then get the fuck out. Sound good? Bruno: Um, yea. This is kind of unexpected but ill reach the guys and let them know. When will it be? Personal event organizer: Tonight at 8:30 at The Old Organ House. Bruno: Alright. See you there man. *hangs up* Bruno's text to everyone: Hey guys, look, i know this is out of nowhere but i just got told we need to do some promoting. We have some kind of press conference shit to do tonight. Im gonna need you guys to all be there. Its at The Old Organ House at 8:30. Dont be late. *Times goes by and 8:30 comes* *Bruno sits outside of the building waiting for the others to come* *People start pouring into the building* *Phred and Jam show up first* Phred to Jam and Bruno: Whats up! Yall ready for this? *rubbing hands together readily* Jam: Yea Bruno: Yup Jam: We might as well go in and wait for the rest to come *they all walk in and take their seats in front of a microphone provided for them at the long table* *everyone in the room starts cheering soon as they sit down* *the men say their thank yous to everyone* *The rest of the band comes in and takes their seats* Man with microphone: Okay everyone quiet down, i can feeeeel the excitement in the room. This is the moment you all have been waiting for... *Camera lights flicker constantly on the whole band* Man with the microphone: Lets get the questions goinggg. No holding back. Letsssss start! I introduce to you all... Bruno Mars, Phredley Brown, Jamareo Artis, Philip Lawrence, Dwayne Dugger, Kameron Whalum, John Fossit And James King. Hereeee we go gentlemen. Lets begin. Bruno whispers to Phred: Where the FUCK is Eric! I specifically told everyone to be here ON TIME Phred: I dont know man, i haven't seen him since we parted ways when we got off the plane *John looks at Phred and smiles* *Fan stands up* Fan: Hi guysss. Omg this is really happening* fans eyes* okay. Sorry for the tears Bruno: *smiles* Its okay baby, keep going Fan: okay okay, This ones for Bruno...*clears throat* On a scale of 1-10, rate the upcoming tour Bruno: Damn, ill have to say 13 *crowd laughs* Bruno: At least thats what i think *looks at band* what do yall think? James: In my opinion, it all depends on who's shining this tour you know? Like it all depends on taking turns. Nobody likes a hog. Especially when the talent is dimmed down. I think you guys will enjoy the tour. Its guaranteed the front man will be changed Bruno looks at James: *scratches head* What do you mean by that... *Phil looks at James implying to stop talking* James: I mean like i just think that we need to push the real talent to the front. I mean... How far can one get on their looks when the vocals can be compared to less than rat shit Phil: NEXT QUESTION PLEASE *Fan stands up* *Bruno side eyes James* Fan: Hi boys Band: Hi Fan: Okay, i have a question for Duggy... Duggy: hit me with it! Fan: Okay, so i dont know howww true this is but my cousin called me one night and said she saw you around the street at night time. She said she saw you getting in multiple random cars. I just wanted to know, what were you doing and also what do i have to do to get you in my car *laughs* *whole audience laughs* Duggy's smile drops: No, no i don't know how true that could be. I mean like maybe your cousin was just tripping or something... Trying to get you all hype *fake laughs* but no sweetie. Im sorry. I wish i could say it was me. But no... *nervously screams* NEXT QUESTION Man with the microphone: Oh, looks like we've got a hand up over here all the way in the back *walks to the back* Finds fan, okay how are you ma'am. Come step up to the microphone... Stand so they can see you... *Storne stands up and straightens her shirt* Storne: Hey guys *Phred and John look in shock* Storne: This one is for Phred, What was going through your mind when you tried to dispose of me? *whole audience looks at Storne* Storne: Me, i was taken to a motel room with him and some other guy, was looked at as a piece of meat. Then when i didn't want to have sex with the two men... This one right here *points at Phred* knocked me unconscious with a telephone *audience gasps* Storne: I wake up in a dumpster in the dark. And walked home. I was too terrified to call the cops. I thought they'd come back for me... I stopped breathing for a minute when this all happened but as soon as i snapped out of it... I thank GOD that im here today to tell the story *audience claps and begins to boo Phred* Phred is shaking in his seat. Shaking so hard that the whole table is moving. The whole band sits there in shock just looking at him in disgust Bruno: My god, *looks at audience* i dont know what to say, im... Im speechless. I promise everyone watching at home that i didn't know ANYTHING about this and if i did, i promise you this man would have been fired in SECONDS *Angie rises from a seat in the back* Angie: You fuckin hypocrite. You're gonna really sit here and act like you haven't done anything in you're life as fucked up... *Jam looks into crowd* Jam whispers: ANGIE? Angie: Bruno, im pregnant. And the baby's yours. *Jam stands up and runs toward Bruno* Jam chocking Bruno: How could you you stupid bitch!!! Bruno: *gasping for air* Kam: *stands up and grabs Jam* CHILL MAN CHILL Bruno: Really? You just gonna come at me like that pussy? *takes off jacket* *Camera men move closer to the table* *Kam sits Bruno down* Kam: THATS ENOUGH, yall cut the shit! Phil screams out: I think we should stop the conference now. Please just give us some time to calm down Man with the microphone: I think this is quite juicy actually. Plus the show must go on... James: You always gotta stick up for him huh Phil? How much longer are you gonna ride that mans dick? Thats why your dream of taking over will never come true, you're too invested in being his little pussy ass sidekick Bruno: What is he talking about Phil? James: Tell him Phil, tell him how you really feel about him being in the spotlight. Tell him all the stuff you told me, about how you can sing better than himmmm and how you were always meant to be the front man... Bruno: Really Phil... You really think that huh? Phil: Yea... I do. Bruno: Fuck you man, you'll never be any better than i am. You're basically a nobody. They all come to see me. You mean nothing... Phil: What would your bitch ass do without me? *Pushes microphone over* Well now you'll learn today, I QUIT. Angie continues: I dont know why Bruno is playing dumb like he didn't know it was his. We always fucked around.. *Kam hold Jam back still* Angie continues: He used to always take me down to his little sex club he has here. He begs us to not use his real name to cover his ass. We have to call him "Master Bronze" Kam: Wait... BRONZE??? *Kam jumps up and starts towards Bruno, he gets a hold of his jacket and starts punching him, Jam now follows with grabbing the microphone and hitting Bruno with it on the head with it* *James sits back laughing* *John and Duggy grabs Kam and Jam* Phil: John, dont help him John: What man *continues breaking them off of Bruno* Phil: He's replacing you the day before we leave John: You lying, who would he replace me WITH??? Bruno: I called up Kenji the other night and let him know theres a opportunity to re-join the band John: What the fuck... Why? Bruno: You weren't holding up your end. *Phred still sitting there stunned* Kam: *plops down* Fuck this, fuck all of this shit *throws microphone on the ground* Im done Jam: ... Yall just gonna forget that Phred attempted to kill someone *John sits down* John: Shut up man... How u even know if she's just bullshitting Kam: Who would like about some shit like that, shes obviously telling the truth John: What proof does she have? James: Where's Eric? Storne: I swear he did it! Him and some other guy Phred: If you were so called knocked "unconscious" how the fuck do you remember all this? Storne:... I... I dont know actually John(gives her a look): Falsely accusing someone of something can indeed be a crime, you know that right storne... Storne: ... I mean like... I dont know who it was EXACTLY i guess Phred: I hate to jump in... But i think i saw Eric the night before coming out of a motel room *looks at Storne, pulls a small knife out of his pocket and shows it under the table where only she can see it* Bruno: WHAT? *Phred puts knife away* Phred: Yea, i swear it was him. He was dragging something to the back of the motel. I didn't pay any attention to it though, thought it was just trash.. Storne: Yea... *looks at Phred in fear* i guess that was the one Phred: Its okay. We all get confused sometimes Bruno: Eric would never do anything like that Phred looks at Bruno: Never say never, maybe he was so scared to come here today that he went home or something. I couldn't find him at all today. Man holding the microphone: Well thats all the time we have today... Bruno: WAIT... Is this going to be on t.v Man holding the microphone: Yes, definitely. Bruno: It cant be... It fuckin cant be. How much money do you need for that tape? ill give you anything *All men at the table adding in how much they'll be willing to pay for the tape* Man with the microphone: Im sorry boys but this is my job, whether everything you all said is true or not, i got to turn this in to the boss. You know how many ratings we'd get? Jam: Go to rule #7 in Brother code... Kam: What happens here stays between us only... James: And if a soul besides us finds out.. Bruno: That soul wont live to tell... *Jam and Phil pull out guns* *Starts to shoot at everyone in the audience* *everyone's screaming and running* *Phred runs over and locks the exit door* *The rest of the band pulls out guns from their waistband and starts shooting at everyone in the crowd including the man with the microphone* *eventually everyone is shot up and dead* *Bruno walks over to every camera and destroys it with bottom of gun* *John's phone rings* *answers phone* Eric: GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE. IM IN THE BACK *John hangs up* John yells out: Yall come , Erics outside *Jam continues to shoot* James: COME ON!!! *Everybody runs outside to van parked in the front* *Everyone jumps in* *Eric start to drive quickly* Eric: Always gotta make me the one with the escape van! Kam: Admit it , nobody drives faster than you Eric: There always needa to be someone SMART left behind to save your asses. Im telling yall, we cant cover up from the world any longer... They're gonna catch on eventually Bruno dialing number: Would you shut the fuck up and drive *holds phone up to ear* Bruno: Yea, Yani... We need another clean up girl. The Old Organ, yea, its pretty messy. Yani from the other side of the phone: You got it big daddy Bruno: Like always, no evidence. Clean from the bottom to the top. Yani: Got you! *Bruno kisses phone and hangs up* Phil checking phone: We have exactly 13 minutes until the next plane leaves... Eric you gotta get us man Kam: Yea, we always leave fast after a "clean up" Eric: ill make it there. Just shut up and sit back *minutes later all the men are at the airport* *Everybody boards plane and a seat* John: You know what the best part about our trips are... Phil: WHAT? John: No matter what the bullshit it is that we go through, we always come back together as if we didn't hate eachother EVER. Bruno interrupts: You're still fired Phil: I still quit Jam: Im still gonna kill Kam: Me too *The rest of the band busts out in laughter* Phred: If i wasn't benefiting from you all, id kill all you *Everyone gets quiet* Phred:... A JOKE Everyone: ... Bruno: Welp, im just glad thats over. *Hoursss pass... the plane has just arrived back* Bruno looks at each of the band members: Brother code guys... Brother code forever. ill see yall ... *Everyone goes their separate ways* *Night-time falls and everyone is at home* *At the same time everyone's phone notification goes off loudly* *The screen says "One new message"* On each phone the text says: "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN VEGAS, IF YOU DONT WANT TO LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW YOUR SECRETS PLEASE DO THE FOLLOWING..." TO BE CONTINUED ONE DAY BUT NOT ANY TIME SOON

[survivemiddleearth]

Episode #3: “Nabbed by a man in a party city cow suit” -Nick

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT I JUST GOT NABBED BY A MAN IN A FUCKING PARTY CITY COW SUIT, IM FUCKING KILLING MYSELF IN THIS STUPID FARMERS FEILD

Remember when i said i felt secure in this game? Yeah me neither, and now with a tribe swap (:

I’m so sad???? I don’t even know the names of my old tribe to mourn them. AHHHH I DONT WANNA SWAP YET cri cri. Well fresh start cept Stephan is here so semi fresh. Hopefully he won’t screw me over jajdjdw

a tribe swap huh... I'm really curious to see how the Idolhunt works, and if the clue for a 2nd Idol on 1 tribe (?!?!?!) is actually transferrable.

Its a tribe swap and yay! I’m with the two people I’ve actually talked strategy with, Dennis and Sammy. However, I am with Vi, who is not my favourite person, i’ll try for the clean slate and all that is my philosophy but she has a history of being a snake, if an ineffective, goat-esque snake.

BLESS THE RAINS Ok I'm actually sad about Jayden - was a cool guy but I couldn't try and dictate another vote so soon and he WAS on the outer :/ BUT NOW I GET TO BE CHAOTIC YEE HA! im throwing my old tribe under the bus so fast cuz im messy and i want to be that bitch (patent pending) johnny will assume i'll take his side probs but like, I might, but I'm not gonna give up this opportunity to play middleman my inner kass is gleaming caw-caw am coming!

Yay! I love my new tribe. I have had good experiences with all these players, so I feel that my options are available and I can go to whoever I want for an alliance.

I HAVE FOUND. EVERY SINGLE. FUCKING. IDOL LOCATION. ALL THREE. AND THEY'RE ALL. FOUND. IM GONNA. SCREAM. IM. MAD.

Ok lost post but I haven’t confessed since the swap so: ok so the tribe swap has me shook. Thank Zeus that I’m still with Jay and Ford. Zach and JG are also on this tribe but I don’t think they like me. I messaged Zach and he responded with ‘👀’ which was funny asf but also. how do I respond to that. Drew and nick both had conversations with me so I don’t feel completely rejected. Jay and I have been sharing idol hunt stories and we’re pretty sure that all idols have been found so I’m scared to idol hunt, all I’ll find is disadvantages and I don’t want that. The word search comp was a lot of fun ?? I didn’t know any of the words so it was really panicky but I think I did okay. I really hope that we win this comp because. I hate tribal?? I’ve only lived 2 tribals ever because I’m a dumbass so.

This tribe is...interesting. Zach and Dylan R, despite being my sons, are a lil snakey. I see their rat boy sides, respectfully. Dylan just never lets me live tbh. But Zach and I were talking about the tribe and he mentioned wanting to blindside Drew at some point, and I was like Yeah Makes Sense and he goes "so if you could convince people to do that it would be great!" BINCH. I'm not your minion yet, don't give me tasks. So I have to keep him around to throw under the bus at some point lol. I think I'll try to get Bodhi out first since everyone else on the tribe I think I can work with.

Ayyy. Lets go guys. I found an idol. The first time I ever found one in a survivor game. Lets see how long I can hold onto it, before i either get blindsided or waste it out of paranoia. Imagine how nutty it would be if I had 2 idols by now. DARN YOU STEPHEN!!!

I’d love to get crow on board to work with my old tribe mates, none of the others really talk to me much. Thats not to say if a better offer comes up I wont take it, I’m considering tryig a less loyal game plan.

So far Dennis is my closest ally in this game, but I’ve been working hard to make sure I dont stand out as a player and an alliance maker. I also have talked to Crow a lot and really like him, would love to work with him. Dennis wants to work with Roxy and Sammy which I am cautious about, but now isn’t the time to play the game too hard. I’ll work with them for now while getting closer to others and then make my move, theres a lot of players in this group I have to make sure I’m not left behind or blindsided.

Nick sweetie I like you but 2 hours omg im beyond shook. I don’t want him going so that’s chill but I would be lying if I said I didn’t laugh omg. I’m.... kinda glad we lost? In a way?? The other tribe has a 4-3-1 where as our tribe is 3-3-2 so. In a way this is better?? I’ll probably be eating these words when I get evicted tomorrow but oh well. 

Drew is really nice and we have great conversations !! But I know his history so of course I’m wary talking with him. He’s good at grilling for info while also being guarded, so talking with him about the vote worries me. If I say the wrong thing I feel like he could turn the votes against me. I thought this vote would be easy but Drew telling me that him and the red team aren’t close worries me because I know that they’re in an alliance. Drew is still really cool & nice but paranoia is a bitch !!!

I did the math, because I’m a nerd, and Zach needed a score of 16 minutes in order to tie. Honestly not the dudes fault ,,, we woulda lost anyway even if he did well. Just thought I’d say that 

I'm really glad our tribe won. We ended up bonding a lot over a long discussion in the tribe chat, and I want to build with that with the people who I had most in common with, like sammy. I feel I need to socialize more because no one really approached me in a bit. I know we aren't a tribal but I feel like I should be approached anyway.

FINALLY I'm headed to tribal! I really need to go to at least one tribal pre-merge just so I can see where the heads are at and how people act under pressure. So far I've learned that Zach is the most Rat Boy person I've ever met. ZACH, I TOLD YOU AFTER KALOKAIRI THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN TO TONE IT DOWN. TONE IT DOWN. Dylan R too, to be honest. They're both just WAY TOO STRATEGIC. Like learn some subtlety, kiddos. Dylan R literally said 'we really need to get out Bodhi' to me and Zach asked 'Why doesn't Bodhi like you?' unprompted and is also roasting Drew every .4 seconds. I mean yes it's refreshing since I'm so used to playing with crusted over community people like.....myself. But also, I'm tired. I don't want to play the game as a rat herder, trying to stop Rat Zach and Rat Drew from biting each other's heads off. (If you're reading this post-season, just know I view you all as very strong players, and I bestow the title of rat lovingly, as I myself am 100% a rat). On the plus side, there are LOTS of juicy meat shields in this game. As annoying as it's going to be to deal with the inevitable Zach vs. Drew ego war, at least I know their conflict is going to keep me out of the spotlight hopefully long enough to make late merge. I need to stay as UTR as possible as long as possible, and this cast might make that easy for me. I'm just thankful I have JG. He's one of my best friends, and I know we can trust each other going forward.

Oh god I went so hard my last game and now this game i’ve Idol searched once and confessed once lmao. Ummm...not a very interesting game so far. No one’s flipped. No ine’s Been shady. Very clean cut. I’m playing with some Kalokairi peeps so that’s fun and fresh, but other than that there hasn’t been much. That’s probably why I haven’t confessed at all 😂.

I thought that this vote was gonna be easy but talk of an idol has sent people into a frenzy. Personally, if an idol gets played it won’t be the end of the world for me so I’m not... too scared ? Inb4 I get blindsided but it should be either bodhi or nick going.

Welp, the vote has flipped to Nick. Usually that would make me scramble to get it back where I want it, but this game I'm not strongarming any players, and I'm going with the "anyone but me" strategy. So whatever! If everyone can unanimously vote against an inactive player, that works.

This might be me being cocky. But I can not believe that 12 minutes was actually the fastest time. I am happy that I am not going to Tribal council. And I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible, but still... 12 minutes? Mhm.. Maybe the other tribe threw on purpose to get certain players out... who knows!

Welp I really wanted Nick gone because of that score, sorry bud but it is about tribe strength but everyone was saying let's vote Bodhi. Being/feeling on the bottom even though I have some relationships with  people like Dylan, Drew, and Jay , I still did not feel secure in my position in this game. During the afternoon, I realized it was extremely stupid to target and get rid of Bodhi who would most likely be loyal to me and have my back over some of these other folks. So I talked to Jay and planted the seeds of actually voting out Nick instead of Bodhi. I went to Bodhi saying that we could potentially flip this and told him who needed to talk and and who to target to save himself which was obviously Nick. I wanted Nick out the moment those results came out and if he goes home, I will take claim to this for pulling this off, this will potentially really keep Bodhi as a number for myself and not rock too many boats.

wow shook i didn’t do the worst at the word search....why do all of my friends gotta be in the game w me. Potentially I would like to work with Johnny and Roxy even tho I know a lot of times ppl target roxy for being crazy and I don’t know who i can trust yet. I like crow as well. My predictions for tonight is that bodhi might go home because he really wasn’t active on our old tribe but only time will tellllll

#outwitoutplayoutrunthewitchking

[spn-traxx]

spn rewatch 12x02

tagged as ‘spn for ts’ those who want to block. enjoy!

summary:

"Preform. Drink. Sleep. Repeat." Is this them calling out dean winchester

ok its an empty tea cup but u tried sammy

Mitch just tryna get that promotion ....

ok to start with i just ended up watchin 3 seconds of something called better things ... thanks random website im watching spn on. I wish it was better things.

Preview showing me sams pain please stop im crying.

is this why people ship them... this one scene where sam isbeing manipulated by toni by sex. i hate this. i hate non con and everything it stands for

FCUKING EAGER SAM LMAO

WINE IN BED if that spilt it would look like blood

we report to no man.... we free souls

also is sam saying this all out loud??

bed scene to dean and cas okkkk transitions where

NO SIGN OF SAM COS HE FUNKING

“check real estate” .... get us a flat soon bb

no dont leave me with my zombie mum thanks

cas googling quick like "how to b supportive bf"  but only loads the first bullet point lmao

mary ears were burning

IM EMO AGAIN HES THRILLED HES SO DAMN HAPPY I CANT STAND IT

mary and dean do that thing pretending they good when they not ... tears

“forwards hopefully” lol.

OHMIGOD I SEE NOW

“I STARTED ALL OF THIS THE YELLOW EYED” THING.....GASP theres a leaked spoiler about this that it blows up into a big thing so ///early points/// wow. they PLANNED this wow.

Hallucitoni

why u asking .... dont like her again... brain would liquify stooop

i dont like these less pleasant methods dude. At all. Leave sammy 😢😢

it looks like a raptor claw. dino baiting in spn why

NO THE SHNK NOISE i hate the shnk noise

ahh the next morning.

MARY REMEMBERING JOHN AS GOOD ME CRYING AGAIN

CAS CALLING

CAS CAN U BE MY EMO SUPPORT PLEASE

cas out there fully looking at real estate for dean and found a farm.... he got a hay truck now, he blends in perfectly he doesnt need that tree camo

"We never kno we are hunters" mary my heart is breaking please stop

and she damn well can handle herself as u will see

O BOI 😂😂😂😂

Tonis calendar blocked out as "torture sam" for how long ew *shudder*

ooo first evidence that bmol is out of date

how did they dean did it hmm

ROWENA. Ok but i love her so much.

CROWEWEY. i love them so much 😍

their banter im 😂😂😂

she just wants a normal life crowley leave her alonnne

PFFFTTTT thats not a tiny favour crowley cmon. work out ur favour sizes

ahhh vnc vncnt he worked well as lucifers vessel. outdated rockstar who drinks. and he wears eyeliner so im down.

"Preform. Drink. Sleep. Repeat." Is this them calling out dean winchester

Tomi leave with ur 2002 split down the middle hair style. Let him look at some model stock photo

i thought that they could only use vessels from blood lines but ok ....

dean appreciating mary as a hunter

also all these wide sweeping statements about hunters

"It changed dad" u can say that again. DEAN CONFESSING STUFF

SAM WANTED OUT HE WENT TO STANFORD

also .... no dean thats what u think ...... sam was learning and had a gf ..... why u tell ur mum these things please.

hAHHH - scream of terror me too vincy

everyone knows whats going to happen why they drag it out for so long

why does lucifer have to ask for permission for vince vincenenety???? he didnt for any of the other vessels except sam .... what kind of bs .....

swallowing those pills was selfish but she was in an abusive relationship. thats so sad.

😂😂😂😂😂 I LOVE CROWLEY AND ROWENA

he has an aura of supreme evil 😂😂😂

"Its exactly why im retiring" 😂😂

"He makes oatmeal look interesting"

why not the location? mother / son team up!!

rowena doesnt care about ben tho lbr. Shes a beautiful funny women who could like magic women up. Why does she need a man....

they should bring sam fresh clothes honestly how long has he been stewing tf

"Dude help me" ..... "i cant believe that worked" see mary and cas have no expectations for each other so they act get on better than mary and dean *cries*

brother are you okay ..... isnt this what kelvin says. hair split guy cares about you....

CLASSY ONE LINER THat ive heard 20 times

where is dean even walking. he got his gun out like its not a crime tf. Oh wait americs ... never mind

THATS IT DEAN THATS THE PLACE

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY "son of a bitch"

so was dean just standing there and got grabbed wtf? Underestinated tonis strength

get off my throne would have been better but i appreciate it.

Beiber more ur style 😂😂😂 i like crowley

Real estate has been mentioned like 5 times this ep. They all want to move away.

"Mani mani mani"cure lucifer jeez cut ur nails.

why would sulfuric acid hurt them LOL they literally made of sulfur dumbs

no hesitation strike hurt the nation

Passcode??

Spit blood hunnyyy

“tea and a beating” 😂😂😂

THEY MENTIONED BENNY HOW TF DID THEY KNO

THEY KNO ABOUT DEANS GAY ESCAPADE IN PURGAYTORY LMAOOO

ew ew ew ew face melting. Good acting of being burnt alive.

his vessel struggling to be healed or melt away

RED EYES

WIIINNGSSSSSSSS HOOOOOEEEEEEEE

THIS IS LUCIFER

HES DOING SOME KPOP FACE DANCE MOVES

damn this is what lucifer should have been from the first of the series....

also lucifer snapped lucifers next last time

Posh spice angry spice 😂😂

she missed some juicy gossip

archane topics - this probably explains why they so out of date tbh

EYE GORE I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

MY BOIS

Sams like tripping out right now

WHY SHE HIT SAM LMAO HE IN A CHAIR 😂😂😂😂 sam still tripping out hard

Dean u got one hand free tarzan swing over there

U can make spells by cutting ur hand ... ok ... rowena teach me ur rich witch ways please

THESE APES READ A BOOK

SAMS TRIPPING SO HARD IM DYING 😂😂😂😂 dean and his mum came back knocked out toni then cas and cas british twin turned up

WHY THEY SO CHILL

um ..... toni didnt face those consequences in london.... why winchesters obeying their code?

Mitch just tryna get that promotion ....

LMAO AND NO HE CANT FINISH U OFF his ass got beat in 1 min flat by ms watts

where cas

SAMS FACE. i didnt like early mary in this like the way she was written.

FAMILY GOOD NEWS

CALL THE INTERNET

no ... not now....

WHERE CAS THO

why dean wanting pie when he be wanting cas

pftt okay lucifer talking about snapping her neck. Glad that plot point was adressed

PFT ROWENA RELATING REPUBLICANS TO DEMONS LOLOLOL #shade

empty throne oòooo

SAM IS HERE HOLDING TEA

ok its an empty tea cup but u tried sammy

sam pulling that hsm "i dont fit in the status quo" vibe and marys like .... u dont get it sam.

another puss in boot reference .... marys boots.

also sam had to read johns journal about catching up. Deans the only one who stayed  a winchester thru everything ..... sunshine please .....

SAM GETTING EMOTIONAL. TEARS. BIGGEST BLANK IS ANYONE WHO DIDNT CRY AT THIS.

HUGS

H U G S

SOMEONE HYGGED SAM

dean be here looking at pics with beer. But. Where. Is. Cas.

Welp there he is ... from an episode 20 years old

OH THE SONG IS LOST ANGEL ON A PIC OF CAS UM......

sam is thinking of that "a potato flew around my room" vine looking at that fan

"Honey not vinegar" thanks mitch.

Anyone who works one case (1) case with the winchesters get cursed with winchester feel syndrome.

hes sent for ketchup.... oh no....

james bond vibes .... still no face

he should have worn a mask the whole season honestly lol

That place is def not london 😂😂😂

#spn #supernatural #spn 12x02 #superantural season 12 #dean winchester #castiel #cas #destiel #sam winchester #mary winchester #bmol #season 12 rewatch