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Supervised Machine Learning
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faeriekit · 5 months
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"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."
The body didn't move.
"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."
And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.
Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.
The dead body sat up.
Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"
Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.
Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.
"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."
The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.
"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."
The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.
It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.
The whole fic on ao3
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izacore · 10 months
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You remember Jane Austen? Yeah. I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Brandy smuggler. Master spy. What a piece of work. She wrote books. Novels. Jane? Austen? Yes! Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh? Yes. They were very good. Good Omens (2019-) || Pride and Prejudice (2005)
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dolcettamagica · 2 months
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being geto’s little lamb
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martiniluvr · 3 months
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18+ minors dni
warnings: overstimulation 🎀
★・・・★・・・★・・・★
jason todd who absolutely cannot handle jealousy. who sees red at the slightest lingering stare from a man at the bar while you’re laughing about something you heard at work. who struggles to contain his urge to maim when some asshole ogles the shape of your thighs in your mini dress. who memorises the number plate of any driver who rolls past with their window down to yell out something obscene about your body, knowing the red hood will be paying them a visit later.
it’s probably the lazarus pit talking, but he knows it would be so easy to shatter every bone in their bodies with his bare hands—and, shit, it would feel fuckin’ great. but he’s promised you he’ll save his anger for the ‘real’ bad guys in gotham, so he settles for the next best option: fucking you so good you can barely remember your own name.
one of his hands gropes at your breasts while the other rubs tight circles on your clit as he ruts into you, the obscene sound of your wetness around his cock sending a chill down his spine. he’s worked three torturous orgasms out of you already—two with his mouth, one with his fingers—and you whine desperately as you feel him going for a fourth. your hands weakly claw at the y-shaped scar on his chest as he angles your hips off the bed, so that every thrust brushes against the sensitive spot in your walls.
he looks down at you with a mixture of pride and ferocity. “what’s the matter? too much for you, ma?” he asks, his voice ragged as he fucks into you. your eyes are watery and you’re reduced to a string of incoherent moans, your walls clamping down on him hard as he speaks. jason smiles wide—that’s all the answer he needs. seeing you gasp and writhe at the sensitivity as your fourth orgasm is forced out of you is enough to confirm what the both of you already know. none of those guys could fuck you like this, baby.
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frenchublog · 3 months
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🏹💘...!
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theavengers · 2 months
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WandaVision (2021) 1.08: Previously On X-Men '97 (2024 - ) 1.05: Remember It
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chaos-bringer-13 · 2 months
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I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™
Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.
Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.
We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.
And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.
It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?
Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.
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viveela · 7 months
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They can't hold hands
The awkward aftermath
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nerdpoe · 3 days
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Danny, Dani, and Dan get deaged by a wish gone wrong. They get picked up by a loser in a furry costume.
Batman, having only been on scene for about half a year, still making mistakes and eating shit when he doesn't stick the landing, finds the trio of babies stashed away in an alley.
Batman's not doing so hot; he'd just fought a new rogue with strange abilities and only barely won thanks to being thrown through a case of occult antiques in the museum. In the end he'd managed to restrain the being by opening an ancient vase and imprisoning the villain in it.
The Dracula-themed villain had been a very difficult fight, and said fight had only proved to him that he had to train more. Get better. He was on his way home, actually.
Clearly someone left them there to pick them up later, given that there's a diaper bag with all of their names on it.
He drops them off at a baby drop-off and goes about his night.
Except he got attached.
The very next day he's so overcome with guilt he immediately looks into being a foster father for them. The process takes awhile, but he gets to foster them.
So by the time Dick comes into the picture, there's already three hellions toddling around, and he gets to be a big brother far sooner.
Also, the noise the toddlers produce helps him ease into life at the manor.
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waltermis · 16 days
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Are You Kidding Me?
*Vision and Y/N heading out for a mission*
Wanda: Vision
Vision: Yes, Ma'am?
Wanda: Be back in time for dinner.
Vision: Uh, yes, Ma'am
*They leave*
Wanda: I'm so sorry you had to see that
Natasha: See what?
Wanda: The way we just snapped at each other.
Natasha: Are you kidding?
Wanda: *sigh* Obviously Vision and I are going through one hell of a rough patch
Natasha: If I talked to Y/N that nicely, she would think I'm cheating on her
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zephyrchama · 6 days
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[Thoughts about an MC who gets periods]
Getting periods in the Devildom must be pretty rough. Demons probably don’t get them, and the number of humans freely wandering around has to be incredibly low. If MC takes the form of a sheep then they likely don't have to deal with it immediately, but eventually that's going to wear off and they'll revert back to a human. Does the Devildom even have pads and tampons for sale?
MC might have to sheepishly ask Barbatos if he can acquire some in bulk from the human world. Barbatos would remain professional as always when inquiring about the use of these products and their role in daily life. He'd have to report it to the prince. They're both aware of what periods are, but only in a vague "oh yeah, humans do that" kind of way. (Perhaps in the future, Lucifer could use his secret Akuzon account to order more?)
There's surely some plant or potion that prevents them, but they're not meant for long term use. Probably tastes nasty over time and covers human skin in a weird oozing rash if consumed too often.
A month or two into the exchange program, MC might have to call up Solomon for aid.
---
“Can you help me with something?”
Solomon, not too interested in MC yet, agrees just to be amicable with his fellow human exchange student. They must be scared! They must be missing humans! “Is something on your mind?”
“You know how to do magic, right?”
What a silly question. It’s almost refreshing to hear. “I do.”
“Do you know… like, uh, smell…? Reducing magic? Something to cover up smells? Without being obvious, I mean. I feel like I stink and I was really hoping you could help me figure something out.”
How cute, he thinks. He can’t quite remember the time when he smelled fully human anymore, and he can’t really smell the distinct odor on people that demons can, but he knows demons can easily sniff out a human from afar. “Oh, don’t worry about that. It should go away on its own as you spend time here.”
MC isn’t convinced. “I don’t think it will…”
“Trust me. How are you finding Devildom cuisine? I know you’re not used to it, but eating more will help you adjust. I can whip up a few simpler dishes for you to try if you need help.”
MC is silent for a bit. Solomon thinks his job is done until they say quietly, “that’s not the problem.”
“What?”
“I’m pretty sure the brothers I live with can smell, uh, my cycle.” No use being coy about it, better get straight to the point. “They stare at me when I’m on my period. I think - no, I know - they can smell the blood. I’ve seen them sniff the air when I’m around. It's weird. And I can’t exactly stop it from happening every month.”
“Oh.” Now it’s Solomon’s turn to be quiet. He’s embarrassed and surprised, a little humbled, and also really interested in this problem. It’s not something he’s ever thought about before.
MC continues, “I think they can tell when I’m ovulating too, Asmo started lingering around more often, and Lucifer looked scarier than usual, and they all stare more, and-”
“I think I get it.” Solomon can’t stop his face from turning pink. Despite his usual grin, he doesn't think he’s ready to listen to the rest of MC’s sentence.
There should be an easy solution, but it’s something that warrants testing if MC doesn’t want the brothers noticing a sudden spell cast upon them. It could get mistaken for something malicious. Solomon says, “I might be able to help. Can you come over today?”
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eatingsomegreeneggos · 7 months
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My uh- My hand slipped 🌟
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munsondjarin · 2 months
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eddie starts to do more accents after noticing how much it makes you giggle. he’ll start ordering pizza in a british accent when you’re at the trailer for movie night. when he catches you drifting off while studying, he’s quick to break in a high pitched valley girl accent as he reads “what was like the primary goal of the confederacy in fighting the civil war?” when he notices you trying to hide your smile he continues his theatrics. “whats your damage? do you like want to fail this test?” he’ll break into a french accent when you cook together, he even drew a moustache with a sharpie once (had to go to school the next day with it on since it wouldn’t come off and he didn’t break out of the accent till it fully came off). when he picks you up for school he greets you in a pirate accent, but sometimes it’s a southern one. it somehow never gets old and he’s rewarded with your smile every time.
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zukkaart · 2 months
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Okay so we know that Sokka is notoriously cool under pressure, BUT we also know that sometimes if he’s the ONLY one in danger his brain cells reduce to zero (see: bitter work).
All I’m saying is if he was cornered by Zuko alone in close quarters, I think his single brain cell would activate and he’d kiss him. Zuko would so startled that he’d stop attacking and Sokka could get away.
The comedic potential and potential fallout of this is just too good
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martiniluvr · 2 months
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“human beings in a mob”
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“what’s a mob to a king?”
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“what’s a king to a god?”
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“what’s a god to a nonbeliever who don’t believe in
anything?”
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