#trying to properly word a story where there's an importance on “past lives” yet also those past lives are entirely forgotten in this life

[arisenreborn]

∞ Arisen & Pawn Character Introductions

At last, I have finally "completed" my own darn template 😂 I mixed it up a little, putting the gratuitously long Q&A stuff further down below, but honestly, all of it is gratuitously long winded so I commend you on your bravery for clicking 'read more'. (Blank is here if you're interested! :D)

♛ THE ARISEN:

NAME: Reverie Orlaith AGE: 23~26 (orphaned, it's difficult to know precisely and her aging is slightly different as a half-elf) RACE: Half-Elf PRONOUNS: She/Her PREFERRED VOCATION: Warfarer - Archer, Thief, Magick Archer, Mystic Spearhand - in that order (I'm cheating oops) FAVORED GIFTS: Moonblooms, books, knives, seashells, blank journals. FAMILY: Father (elf), Mother (human) - The Nameless Village

POSITIVE TRAITS: Caring, protective, determined. Very laid-back and gentle-natured, has a 'hopeful, romantic' perception and approach to most things, but not without a good, balancing pinch of realism. Can, at times, be surprisingly shrewd and calculating, as if out of old habit, though it's rarely cold in nature. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Stubborn, reckless, cares more for others than herself which isn't always a good thing. Occasionally prone to accidents (and resulting injury). Comes across as lazy on the surface at times (though it couldn't really be further from the truth, but first impressions and all), she is however very sleepy and lethargic and sometimes has very muted expressions that may give a wrong impression. Has a hidden vicious streak when provoked. LIKES: Rann, seeing rare sights, romantic stories, music (listening, singing, and playing the lute), griffins, autumn, when she catches Rann looking at her. Has a slight, odd, fascination with the sea. DISLIKES: Ogres, ogre drool, being covered in ogre drool and having no access to brineless water. Most of the weather/conditions in Battahl. Mistreatment of Pawns, giving orders to Pawns, being put on a pedestal, others being put in harms way for her sake.

♟︎ THE PAWN:

NAME: Avierann 'Rann' Trevelyan AGE: ??? (possibly in the hundreds or even thousands, but his memory does not accurately reflect this) RACE: Pawn - Elven PRONOUNS: He/They PREFERRED VOCATION: Mage/Sorcerer, Fighter, Archer (in that order) FAVORED GIFTS: Books, tea leaves, bath salts and soaps, magical items. INCLINATION: Kindhearted (+ a touch of Calm because that's how he started)

POSITIVE TRAITS: Steadfast and attentive, he's quick to spot trouble and just as quick to solve the problem. Very sharp memory (despite some questionable foggy spots concerning his past). As a chirurgeon he's also good at discerning illness and other ailments, able to swiftly administer aide be it through magical or herbal remedies. Polite and dutiful, he possesses a kind and caring heart, and even comes across as charming in his own way, and he often helps folks with all manner of problems around town when they're at home. (As a result of this, despite being a Pawn, he seems to have a small 'fan following' among some of Vernworth's populace.) There is also a degree of cleverness, and a studious mind inclined deeply towards learning. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Protectiveness at times borders on possessiveness. A little vain at times tbh, he likes to dress well and keep up with his appearance which really isn't the worst thing but he feels at times that it's unnecessary to his duty. Though he keeps it quiet and you'd be hard-pressed to spot it, he secretly harbors a mostly 'scientific' but definitely slightly sadistic interest in the ways offensive magic 'reacts' with living creatures (this is solely in regards to their enemies though, he wouldn't pursue it beyond that). That may also stem somewhat from that protectiveness... As the story progresses, he shows a subtle but increasingly playful habit of gently teasing Reverie (he seems to enjoy flustering her). LIKES: Reverie, tea, learning pretty much anything - so books and new experiences are highly valued, the hot springs, listening to the music at inns and taverns, stargazing. Even in a city he tends to find some place he can enjoy the stars for a while at night. DISLIKES: Ogres, schemes involving Reverie - or any who would take advantage of her, the Godsway, very heavy/bulky (see: unflattering) armor - also wearing anything over his hair, dishonorable Arisen, drakes. The Pathfinder. He also has complicated feelings towards the former Arisen of this world that border close to dislike, but is more akin to discomfort.

Long Q&A Answers below!

1. What was their life like before becoming Arisen?

In a cycle before this one, she was born to a traveling merchant who'd chanced to have a rather intimate affair with a handsome elf. Details about that cycle are scarce at this point, but as Arisen she got very close to the truth of the world before failing. In this cycle, she seemingly washed ashore from nowhere, not far from the Nameless Village. She was very young, though it was difficult to determine her actual age on account of her elven lineage. Though not formally adopted by any one person, she was more or less cared for by the entire village, and grew up like any other child there learning the craft of thievery. For the most part she lived on an assumption of contentment; she had people who cared for her, people she cared for. Life wasn't always easy, and their lives were far from virtuous, but she was happy for all intents and purposes. Or at least, she had no overt reason to be unhappy. And yet she had a sense of wonder that went beyond that life. In her work she saw the world through a mask of sorts, caught glimpses of what life was like for paupers and princes alike - always held at a careful distance, because getting too close to any of it was a risk. But oh did she want to touch and taste all of it, to experience the world without the mantle of subterfuge. There was also a deep sense of 'something missing', but she often chalked that up to her origins; she had no recollection prior to washing ashore of where she'd come from. There were, however, the tattooed marks and scars on her body that seemed to weave a tale in a language foreign. Even before Disa stole her memories, she'd had a sense much of her life that she was forgetting something important. Then she got a job to infiltrate the guard stationed at Melve - ostensibly to gather information on the goals of Disa and her scheming (though to what end, is unremembered). It was of course there she came face-to-face with the dragon, became Arisen, and would soon after have memories of all else washed away.

2. How do they handle being Arisen, and the responsibilities that come with it?

She takes it all in stride, trying to focus on one task at a time. Having no memories means the present and the goals set before her are, initially at least, 'all she has (to go on)'. At the start of things, she is almost Pawn-like in her lack of personal input, despite an underlying twinge of discomfort that she would only fully understand a little later on. As a fuller awareness and grasp of things begins to come into effect, she is almost grimly resolute. The lack of her beating heart in her chest, the charge she is given, all of it weighs heavy on her. Part of her holds onto a sliver of naive hope (she knows it's naive, though how she isn't sure, it's a twisted feeling in her gut) that it'll turn out like the storybooks and legends say: She'll defeat the Dragon, become Sovran, and all will be well. Either way, it's something only she can do, and do it she must.

3. What are their thoughts on Pawns in general?

At the beginning, they felt similar to her, seemingly devoid of purpose or goal. The quietness in her mind and soul felt a comfort initially - and then the more she interacted with humans she felt a slight schism, and became more aware of what she was actually missing. But her thoughts and feelings on Pawns themselves are born of great love. She loathes the idea of commanding them, and refrains as much as possible from doing so in a way that would demean them (the occasional sharp order in the heat of battle to save them notwithstanding). Even knowing that they cannot 'truly die', seeing them perish or in pain grieves her deeply, and it's something she scarcely seems capable of getting used to. She will absolutely put herself between them and harm, and despises seeing any ill treatment of them. Though perhaps 'hopelessly naive', she wishes to believe there could be so much more for them than the lots they've been given.

4. What's their relationship like with their main Pawn?

"Sacred simplicity". She didn't summon him with any real intention or desire - she barely had a clear idea of what she was doing, though it was somewhat instinctive. At best, she had a feeling akin to faith that fumbling in the darkness, a hand would take hers. Having little idea of pretty much anything that was going on, Rann was her lifeline. It wasn't like she was incapable of taking care of herself in those early days, but she was definitely pretty bad at it: realizing she was exhausted and overdoing it, forgetting to eat or bathe, etc. Fortunately she did pretty quickly catch onto the most basic of things, but she can still comfortably rely on him for many things she lacks in (like navigating Vernworth's labyrinthine streets). Though she's made connections with others, it's Rann that has been with her through everything, and there's no replacing that. She feels most at peace when he is near, and uncomfortable when they're apart for any reason or length of time. To say there's a degree of co-dependency wouldn't be entirely false, but they both gradually learn from that dependence and grow 'through' it. Early on she struggles with her own emotions at times and making sense of how they 'fit in her', in a sense, as someone with scant memories to reference them from. Though it's a little messy at first, she does gradually and clearly recognize her feelings for Rann, and to a small extent begrudges them. She mislikes the idea that he'd never truly refuse her, so she feels she can't be entirely honest about those feelings. He'll often enough say outrageously sweet things that fluster all hell out of her, and she begrudges him for that too at times. Yet all the same, she will at times tell him she loves him, with all the outward appearance of friendship and warmth because that is absolutely part of it, and because she thinks it's important to share that kind of sentiment with someone, and that he needs to hear it. It's one of the few ways she can repay him for all he does for her, though she would surely do anything for him.

5. Do they have any interest in being Sovran? What are their opinions on the politics of the world in general?

In a word, 'no'. She's somewhat resigned to it? In a matter-of-fact sort of way; she sees how corrupt things are at the moment so she has a pretty """easy""" path to (trying/starting to) correct that. She wants so very dearly to improve things for Pawns everywhere, though, and if being Sovran meant she might be in a better position to do that, then she finds it more appealing, even if still not something she'd prefer. In her eyes though she'd rather 'warm the seat' for Sven, more or less.

6. Who are their love interest(s) and/or closest friends?

She has a good working relationship with Klaus, and as she was gradually getting a handle on 'being a person' again early on, there may have been some playful flirting going-on there, that she later had to regretfully clear up when she realized she'd unintentionally misled him - though they remain on good terms. Sven is probably her closest friend apart from Rann, though. She helped him without much thought (and again, purely intuitively), but as they met and spoke more, with her gradually coming out of her fog, she found talking to him 'grounding' in a sense. Perhaps surprisingly, looking at his position and 'limitations' made clearer to her the freedoms and power available to her. She sees how genuinely he wants to help and make things better, and that encourages her to do more where she is able. She has a fast friendship with Glyndwr and Doireann, feeling almost a sense of 'a home and family she never had'. There's this slightly warm, slightly bittersweet longing and comfort around the Sacred Arbor, feeling at once like she might have found a place of belonging there, and also that she never truly will. Things are a little complicated with Srail... They clearly have history together, but he's evasive about it despite obviously having some care for her. As far as the thieves of the Nameless Village are concerned, her becoming Arisen was a dangerous complication - and her loss of memory more or less fixed that. So while they do still care for and support her from the shadows, they're reluctant to go sharing all her history and secrets with her. Likewise, while she feels a sense of 'home' and comfort around them, especially Srail, she also feels genuinely abandoned, that they just 'cut her loose' and left her in a terrible situation to fend for herself. Nonetheless, what little she has managed to glean of her past through them does give her comfort and some better understanding of herself. (For his part, Srail believes that she's free now, to live a life better suited for her.) Last but furthest from least of course is Rann. I got into it above needless to say she desires for nothing so long as he is with her. Even her lack and loss of memories becomes less of a discomfort and distress and simply a void easily enough filled with him. Though she has many she cares for, and indeed fights for, at the end of the day she's as much compelled forward by him and he is her.

7. What drew them to their preferred vocation? Do they have history with it?

Reverie is lethal with a bow, of that there can be no mistake. This may, perhaps, come from an extensive history with the weapon: in a prior cycle, she was raised on the road, and hunting was a helpful craft to have - on top of this, she and her mother would at times visit her father, and he would teach her the elven approach to archery as well. But what is known to have had a clear effect is that in this cycle, her skill with a bow was nearly peerless among those in the Nameless Village. Whenever they had need of a sharpshooter, she was tasked with the mission at hand. Just what some of those jobs might have entailed is perhaps better left forgotten. Free of such memories and responsibilities, it's something that 'feels right', something she excels at and can put to use in tangible ways protecting her allies and foraging for food. (Naturally, she is similarly good with dual blades, and it does feel comfortable to her, but she is prone to getting a bit too reckless in the thick of things much to Rann's dismay.)

8. Do they have any hobbies? Any way of relaxing between all that monster-slaying and traveling?

When they first started traveling Rann encouraged her to journal as a means of keeping her thoughts and goals straight. It was a bothersome chore at first, but it's since become a comforting past-time, something she does every night before bed: Taking note of the things they did, saw, battled, the people they met and spoke to, the special little memories or things said and shared with her traveling companions. (She also loves reading, but in particular romantic books she'd be Very embarrassed to be caught with her nose pressed into.) Similar to how naturally she picked up the bow and daggers, she also found herself drawn to the lute - though with significant less prowess. She understood the basics, though, and Klaus and Rann both helped her hone those skills further. She doesn't like the idea of carrying her lute with her on her travels, sadly, afraid that it would get destroyed, but it's one of her favorite things to do when they're home. Less of a hobby but she also just quite enjoys napping. A peaceful sun-warmed nap beneath a tree in the middle of the day, or curled up in bed or under a tent while the rain patters gently, or dozing off with her head on Rann's shoulder on an oxcart - what could be more relaxing and rejuvenating?

1. What was their life like prior to being summoned by their Arisen?

The murky depths of the Rift stretch out like a dream, touching the edges of the recognizable world. There, they clarify into form, but nothing beyond what he needs here, and now. Before his cognitive self took shape, his 'heart' came from the Pawn of another world. Within the rift he waited, until Reverie called upon him - but that was in a Cycle before this one. With her they journeyed, fought, and nearly reached the truth of the world - but instead stumbled upon Bitterblack Isle. What exactly happened there is likely forever lost, but for the sake of an answer, they traveled with another Arisen, Vincent, and something happened to Reverie... What resulted was Vincent and Rann emerging from Bitterblack Isle and taking up the fight into a new Cycle. Together they traveled, coming closer still to the truth of the world - But this too would be lost, 'unnecessary' for a Pawn to remember in the advent of the next Cycle. What he remembers is fighting a terrible foe alongside an Arisen he did care for deeply, perishing, and then... the stretching darkness of the Rift. He has recollections of traveling with soldiers, mercenaries, adventurers, even other Arisen - of traveling the world looking, waiting, preparing for her. But the only thing that matters now is this present reality.

2. What is their opinion on the Arisen? How do they view their relationship?

To use a classic, she is the sun and he is the moon. "He shines with the light she gives him", or so he feels. He feels he has sought her out his entire life, and now that he has found her it has truly begun. Yet, unlike the understood order that Pawns exist to aid the Arisen in their fight against the dragon, he finds he is most fulfilled in the more mundane tasks: Shopping for supplies, tidying their abode, cooking meals, making sure she doesn't get lost around the city. When he sees her playing with the orphans in the slums or making deliveries for her friends, there is a sense of: 'This is what our lives should be like,' without looming threats and grand responsibilities hanging over their heads. To be clear, most of it starts and stems from her. 'She' should have peace, and simple pleasures, and the freedom to do all that she wants - and then gradually he does include himself into that ideal painting as well. As she often tells him how she cares for him, and how happy she is to have him by her side, he cannot deny her - or himself. He loves her so much it consumes him. The gentle, calm grace of her, the whirlwind of violence she can embody, the kindness she offers - he loves all of it. She is so fiercely independent to the world and yet she relies and leans on him like no other, and that is an honor he will spend his life happily living up to. But there is absolutely a hurdle there that he is actively tripping over almost all of the time. He is often in a sort of conflict between his own initial lack of will, his inevitable growth of feelings, his belief in his duty and their greater destiny, and more importantly his belief in her. Ultimately he comes to hope that they can achieve their goals, thereby freeing themselves from their duties.

3. Is there anything about the Arisen they find troublesome? Be it a small quirk or bad habit? (Or are they obviously flawless?)

Her recklessness, certainly, or the fact that she worries more for the Pawns' safety and well-being than her own. He's tried to remind her many, many times that they will be fine even if they are 'killed', but that the same cannot be said for her. Though, by this point, he's all but given up, instead dedicating that energy to accommodating what he cannot change. It also troubles him when she goes off on her own, though he understands it to be necessary at times.

4. What is their specialization and is there any story behind how they cultivated that skill set?

Rann is a chirurgeon, though how he came to such a calling is a bit vague. If asked, he would answer that it was of course for the Arisen -for Reverie- as she tends to get a bit reckless from time-to-time, and that on account of his spellwork sometimes falling short in their early days, it was only natural to fall back on curatives. Once upon a time, in another cycle, this was true. And yet, in the cycle that followed, his pursuit of all magic, all research into the potential of curative potions, became a desperate, frenzied madness. Such memories have been lost to the ages he slept in the rift, however. As things are now, it's something that simply comes naturally to him, and serves the same purpose as ever. He takes a measure of genuine satisfaction in researching the various uses of herbal remedies, and how they can be combined to different effects.

5. Do they have any thoughts on the politics of the world and their place in it as a Pawn - or how Pawns are treated?

"It is what it is," mostly. There is no higher honor than serving the Arisen, and at last he has found his Arisen. (In some strange, twisted way, it's almost as if the roles of 'Arisen' and 'Pawn' are merely hyper-convenient excuses, because he feels with unrelenting certainty that even were he an ordinary man he would swear himself to her always.) He does believe that the Arisen is deserving of the position of Sovran given all that they do, but beyond that he doesn't have a personal interest in politics - yet he will absolutely study up on any necessities to better assist Reverie. That said, he is keenly aware of how Pawns are treated from one place to the next, and is rather uncomfortable when travels take them to Battahl. The more he begins to grow into his own feelings and will, the more he wishes this for all Pawns, and genuinely echoes Reverie's wishes to see them treated equally as men.

6. Does their journey with the Arisen change them in any significant way and how?

Ahah, yeah. So first of all, to pull back the curtain a little, he had already undergone a degree of 'Bestowal of Spirit' in previous cycles, so in some ways he had a 'head start' on that. (To pull the curtain much further, "Rann, Yume, and Vincent" are characters from my OG verse who are inextricably bound, so while Vincent's role in DD is 'minor', his impact is very significant.) This is their 'happy ending, everything works out after lifetimes and lifetimes of trying to get it right and failing terribly'. At last he has culminated a will of his own, albeit from pieces of his two masters. So this slightly delves into my "ideal dream post-game scenario", but no overt spoilers: 'To be loved is to be changed', and he basks in the warmth and light of her love. All the array of emotions he's felt, the desire -not just the Pawns urge but his- to protect her and give her a future. It went beyond mere duty and became his hope and dream - and furthermore to share that future with her. He becomes more confident and independent, assured in his sole significance to Reverie; if she is the sun, it's natural the only one fit to stand beside her is the moon, surely. He even occasionally teases her (lightheartedly) to get a reaction out of her. Early on, he understood that there was a barrier between them: she had feelings for him, but felt that she couldn't 'trust' his feelings for her - and he had no idea how to properly convey those feelings in a way that would be satisfactory to her. Teasing and occasionally 'defying' her is usually how he does that. (Things like, picking her up and carrying her around despite her flustered protests.) (On the flipside of all the sweetness, he also got more sadistic [albeit subtly, gracefully even] about destroying their enemies. He wants anyone who would dare to hurt her obliterated and takes a smug satisfaction in doing so.)

7. Is there a reason they chose their preferred vocation?

(OG Rann is a magitech specialist and court mage, so in my heart-of-hearts, peeling back the matryoshka doll of reincarnation stories, OG Rann exists even before DD1 Rann and that all rolls down into DD2 Avierann, so-!) "It simply felt natural to him", though that's not entirely true. He was always drawn towards magic and the wonder of it - the myriad possibilities for healing, protection, destruction. It makes an obvious go-to for service to the Arisen. (But because this worlds magic is different, and his underlying soul was reaching towards the familiar-) He had a hard time actually getting a grasp on magic initially. Yet it's precisely because he had to go through and really work hard at even the most basic levels that he's become a master capable of creating new, ground-breaking spells that most humans would balk at a Pawn being capable of (I like to imagine he originally perfected some of the maister skills himself). It's also what makes him such a good teacher!

8. Do they have any hobbies or preferred past-times?

He enjoys making his own blends of teas, and perfecting drinks that soothe any number of ailments from colds to sleeplessness. He also genuinely enjoys magic and medical/medicinal research, and finding new ways of applying old techniques to new fields. Learning, in general, is probably the broadest yet most comprehensive answer. He eats everything up, and has a nigh-"photographic" memory. Be it reading books, exploring ruins, or listening to storytellers or bards, he loves piecing together history and shared knowledge. Branching from that, he has an appreciation for stargazing and charting the stars. (Reverie loves to listen to stories about the constellations, and in truth it was actually Vincent who shared most of those stories with Rann once upon a time.) Finally, music. It's a strange one, for sure. He feels drawn to it like magic, but as if there's a wall within his very soul that keeps him from truly connecting with it. It's only gradually, as Reverie asks him to teach, play, and sing with her, that he begins to feel his joy for it be nourished.

If you read this far you're amazing and I love you and am blessing your crops and I hope something so good happens to/for you. <3

#character prompts. #oc: reverie (arisen) #oc: rann (pawn) #aes. reverie & rann #arisen x pawn #trying to properly word a story where there's an importance on “past lives” yet also those past lives are entirely forgotten in this life #and only exist as 'feelings' and 'intuition' etc. #oghghg

[twilightguardian]

Lilith wasted no time. You gotta wonder if she loves Fixing RWBY just as much as the rest of us. She's just a tsundere for Raymond! We all know that she's a lying piece of living garbage but let's see what kind of laughs she has for us this time.

"Random" PTSD. Because as we all know, PTSD isn't triggered by things that can be tangentially related to the thing that we have issues with in question. So flashes of red going into a dark tunnel reminding her of Adam's red and the dark cafeteria of Beacon. Nah. Not similar. The episode was totally out of nowhere.

Breaking news: Conman is better at gambling than teenagers. More at 11.

lmao WOW she's pressed. Over basically nothing, too. What is the issue with Blake wanting to talk about what's bothering her? What's wrong with former classmates wondering what's eating at her? Is it because they're men and you don't like those things? Is that it? Like seriously what an odd thing to have a freak out over. How dare men exist and do things.

You can tell Lilith doesn't pay attention because they don't barge in to talk about how totally better people they are. They come into the room to talk to everyone and finds only Blake there and are surprised, because they never knew she was a faunus.

Victimized. That, Lilith, is called past tense. I know you haven't noticed, but it's called character growth. Cardin and Velvet worked past their differences.

Plus, they're not love interests. Yet. Raymond is still on the fence about it because it's not important to the story. But he's blushing because it's a girly thing to have on his weapon and he's a burly manly man, so being teased about it makes him embarrassed. But no, it can only be because he's in love with Velvet. I forgot. Blushing doesn't exist as a psychological involuntary response triggered by emotional stress associated with passion, embarrassment, shyness, fear, or anger. No. It can only be from romantic stimulation. Shoujo anime taught us that.

Why is the main villain of the arc appearing in the arc?!

Stop trying to make transphobia happen, Gretchen. It's not going to happen.

I already explained why this is stupid, but I wouldn't put it past liars to deliberately ignore it or twist my words no matter what I say. So there's barely use explaining anything beyond what I already said. After all, only a moron would genuinely take me saying 'I don't believe you could use your sexuality as an excuse to not know how flirting among this sex works because you're not that dumb' and skew it as queerphobic and me calling Lilith an idiot. Then again, tumblrites were never known for their intelligence. There's a reason I also called out rwde for also having their own Liliths among them, after all.

What? You mean in a series where the main purpose is to stay as close to the original show as possible where it doesn't need to be changed doesn't change things that doesn't need to be changed... doesn't fix shit that doesn't need changing? What a fucking concept.

It's almost like this series is a reconstructive exercise to show how with only a few little tweaks, RWBY could be great and doesn't require a big overhaul to make it good for those who have issues with it or something. That Raymond thinks the show is mostly fine, it just failed in a few things in terms of execution, worldbuilding and other fundamental things and was primarily fine and not completely broken. Wow. You can tell when someone fundamentally doesn't understand something when...

You know it's really funny because we're currently arguing with a guy over the rewrite, because he also thinks it's subpar. Which is fine, but he has his head up his ass to smell his own farts trying to teach Raymond (and subsequently ALL of Hollywood) how to properly write fiction and that he's going to REVOLUTIONIZE the industry. Truly, this guy is what these people claim Raymond is: arrogant, and delusional about his own abilities. Anyway, based on what I've seen his spelling error-riddled script basically makes the girls into murderous psychopaths who will throw everyone else, even their teammates, under the bus to save their own skin and he calls that character development. Truly we live in a clown world.

He might need to be looked at, too, but as per agreement, only Raymond is allowed to look at his script so far. Because he seriously thinks his ideas are so good that people would want to steal from him.

Who are Raymond's pet characters who drove the plot forward?

Roman didn't do shit this episode except hide underneath a table, so that's not true.

Cardin got two scenes where he nudged Blake forward. It's not like he went out and did the work and repaired her relationship with Yang or anything, and then after that he and Russell mostly did the same thing Dee and Dudley did. So unless you're saying D&D were integral to canon and overshadowed the girls, I'd also say that's not true.

Adam? For once she tells the truth. The villain causes stuff to happen. Like in the majority of fiction. Villains usually drive the plot, yes, congratulations, you figured it out. Have a cookie.

Nora and Ren saved Roman. Nora goes and fights with Team RWBY on the roof. Ruby goes and retrieves the weapons. RWBYN take centre stage in the train car scene. Ruby cuts the train car.

But for as much as she loves screaming about how Raymond is misogynistic for this, that and the other, Lilith never really talks about the girls of Fixing in relation unless degrading them, calling them useless, or saying they only exist to be love interests for men. She has some major projection going on.

#rwde #rwby #fixing rwby #frwby #lilith fairen #lolcow

[claudiajcregg]

i'd love to hear any behind the scenes you have on 'say it's here where our pieces fall in place' bc i read it and loved it and i want to know about it 💜

Welp, I've been thinking about this since you sent it and I feel I won't do it justice! I feel like I could say a lot if I went chapter by chapter, but many tabs of unread fics stare back at me. I'll skim and try to say something, though.

Some commentary on say it's here where our pieces fall in place under the cut! I am sick and rambly. And lbr I can never shut up anyway, but this might be too incoherent even for me. (Original ask post here)

It was sort of an unofficial NaNoWriMo project, in that I set myself a goal to tackle “longer fics” or ideas I wanted to cover but hadn't. From my notes, I had this idea to write a ficlet per year because I always enjoy this kind of story, and I know I'd tried to approach different ones in the past. I started writing in late October/finished in Nov 2021. (The other fic I started was never finished, even if dammit, it hits.) I posted it in January, so it wasn't that bad, considering I'll often take months.

It's maybe important to note that I had only finished writing “The Monster (affectionate)” (aka the 148k-ish word IM AU) in early September and I felt a bit burned out after spending five months writing that (would’ve been less but the struggle was real for the last third of the story. Oddly reminiscing of you-know-what story these days). This arbitrary deadline helped me get back into writing. Granted, I wrote a couple of fics in those five months, but I wanted to try another multichapter.

Anyway. I picked some random, perhaps not obvious choices for the vignettes. It was partly to avoid writing something I might have potentially covered at one point, and also a challenge. Some are also strange (the dream!), but I kinda loved it? (Fun fact: the fic references the Sherry-Netherland, whose exterior is the establishing shot in Internal Displacement. I swear there is some thought put into my writing.) And as the A/N I wrote to myself, I definitely wrote and rewrote bits and pieces of this on my way to and from therapy, haha.

Let me find a fun fact about each of the chapters, if I can think of any.

1998: actually repurposed some campaign fic idea I distinctly remember writing in spring 2018, while I was still in uni. It also has GLOVES. I live for that.

1999: I like the idea of exploring Danny and Abbey's relationship! They presumably have a good one and yet, I don't think we ever see them interact. (And god. Danny's recent, pre-campaign breakup is a recurring theme in my campaign stories too, loool.)

2000: Danny and Josh are an underrated friendship, and I like the references to Rosslyn. There was so much in those months in Midterms that we didn't see, and I like thinking Danny visited his friend.

We also got two back-to-back chapters focused on Danny - I remember trying to make it even, so that the focus was more or less evenly split.

2001: the Manchester fuckup! And it's one of the dream chapters! There were two of them? (We're 3 out of 4 in which I was surprised by the focus, but now I kinda want to re-read it all properly?) I'll say that I can see some vague, unconscious inspo from Freefall by KadeeFalls in this chapter (esp since I was just talking to you about it)... But I'm mostly obsessed with the magical realism (there's another term that my foggy brain cannot think of rn) of dreams, and how it can help us clear our heads.

2002: I remembered this was set after Simon! I know it's probably an odd, controversial choice but they both tried to move on (at least, we know CJ did), and it felt disingenuous not to include it. There are moments when she almost admits to her previous (?) feelings for Danny, but stops.

As with most thus far, there were fluffier and probably better choices for 2002 (Christmas!!), but... My brain wanted it to appear like CJ couldn't really bring herself to think about Danny.

2003: Aw, the specialty store is inspired by a franchise over here that had Goldfish (not many flavors) and I took a dramatic license and added it over there. I also added a small flashback because I love thinking Danny doesn't think they're all that but likes them. (But will tease CJ about it.) Plus, some more resolution to moving on!

2004: Yeah, the formatting is weird. (This is one I'd have to go back and do a blockquote or something.) Danny winning a Pulitzer for the Shareef stuff is a mostly accepted headcanon. CJ seeing his picture on the paper and having feels is just something I love, especially if he mentions someone else. (Look. I'm all for letting him pine, but he deserves to move on and fail too.) Plus Josh teasing her!

2005: The Sherry-Netherland! fwiw, I'm sure I had finally figured out this was the place and decided it would be so cheeky to add it here. I'm so sMaRt. Flowers when she gets promoted! And my spin (in this story) of CJ vaguely shunning him. This is the angst before the fluff.

2006: I remembered this one was a dream at some restaurant! (Again the formatting is not great, but I didn't want to tip my obvious hand.) The same way I think CJ's dream in 2001 was about her wondering how Danny would have reacted, this is about Danny realizing he needs to reach out to her... But with the added family ~tale~. Def inspired by that lyric in "Sad Beautiful Tragic."

2007: I feel like having it at some random dinner with Josh and Donna was an odd choice, but I loved the idea of a double date! The scarf scene is just so! And the chaos siblings energy is great. It was a reprieve from the angst.

Meeting at LAX was right there! I had written a story or two trying to do it justice, so I'm guessing that's why it's not. And fwiw the airport story I wrote shortly after that is the one being posted ~soon~. (A rewritten, slightly expanded version.)

2008: Pregnancy mood swings! It hurt to make them fight, but it's so fluffy otherwise. From what I remember, it has various references to things that happen in the story (particularly from the first two chapters) but it still manages to close it rather nicely, showing how strong their marriage is. I hope.

Okay. This has gotten way too long and it's probably useless.

I've always said I could have written another 11 chapters using different scenes, because there are just so many, even outside the obvious ones... Though I feel I wouldn't be able to recapture the magic.

I do definitely want to reread this for real. As with many fics, it's one of those I used to reread often before posting it (especially the last quarter/third) and then just ignored after. See some other recent examples, such as memoir fic, Portland fic.

Thank you for asking, Ally! God, I used to be a good writer. What happened?!??!

#fanfic director's cut #ask games #onekisstotakewithme #asks #it's taken me an hour or so to write it alskdjasdasd

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 20: Working Out Issues with Slide

I keep telling myself I need to do some Thinking about Slide to get myself back into the mood to write it again, but every time I actually get to thinking, I find there really aren’t any thoughts to have. Or nothing deep anyway. I am definitely over-thinking this. Like it’s literally always been intended to be Primarily a Vibe.

I think what worries me is that I don’t feel confident I know Bellamy: what’s going on in his head, his arc, his feelings, his purpose. I’m afraid that the longer I go on, and the more I try to provide even the bare minimum of structure to this thing, the more obvious that will become. In particular, I’m afraid of just repeating the same notes over and over, thus making it obvious that this is a really one-trick-pony operation, and making the whole story feel bloated and rambling and long.

The concept is a high and the aftermath of a high, but even at its most intense and most ecstatic, the high itself is mostly a delusion. At the time, it feels like freedom or maybe even salvation. Afterwards, in the broken and sick aftermath, it is revealed clearly to be only a thin papering of distraction over a dingy reality.

I’m extremely anxious about portraying this properly. Even just in that paragraph... it’s so clear to me but it’s so hard to put into words.

Maybe I am too concerned with interpreting my own work, or knowing what I’m doing. I often don’t feel like I’m doing anything at all, then I capture something beyond what I’d even hoped for in the written word itself. Maybe all I need right now is a hook for the next scene, a little bit of a sense of what happens in it, and a strong Vibe or Mood in my head to write from.

Basically, I think this is Bellamy in his (canonically short-lived) Fuck It Era. Like the dropship, but at the beach, and also in no other way like S1 at all. Bellamy is a natural leader in the sense of natural caretaker and he has a strong sense of his own responsibilities and duties. He’s still that way in this fic, but he’s ignoring it. But all of that is underneath the surface. It’s what he’s looking away from. He’s taking a break from what he should do or must do, and instead just drifting, feeling, living entirely in the present, drifting along on sensation, not over-thinking. Letting himself be selfish. But part of being selfish, and also a requirement of being selfish, is just closing large parts of himself off. There’s no past and no future. There’s no family, except for the friends he took with him. There’s no pain. There’s no purpose. He’s numbed himself. But he’s also, and I’m not sure I’ve quite captured this yet, experiencing a sort of ecstasy too--because it feels thrilling and bad to say fuck everything, I’m at the edge of the world, I am small against the ocean, I do what I want. There’s a lot that’s repressed and bottled up, and what he actually consciously feels is this gleeful sense of invulnerability.

I do understand this, but, again, the jitters when I think of trying to explain it or capture it within the narrative.

The arc is something like this: the initial haze of realizing he’s (temporarily) free, followed by the ecstatic joy of letting go, with bits of his repressed anger and sorrow coming through, degrading into a frenzy, in which everything that came before starts to sour and distort, and finally easing into a let down, an aftermath, where he sees his recent past self clearly but no longer identifies with him, and prepares to return to his old life.

One worry I have is that too much of this story will seem to hinge on Clarke. She is in it and it is a Bellarke fic, and she’s going to be present for important moments, but it’s more a Bellamy fic, and for me, I think essentially the same things would happen to him even if he hadn’t met Clarke. She’s not causing anything. She, or rather their relationship, is just another example of his current state.

...I think this has helped me some, especially my articulation of the arc. I’d like to be able to put some of this in the next scene with Clarke, but I’m not quite sure how yet. That scene is still annoyingly murky. I need a hook; I think I had some prior ideas about the conversation among Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy; and then there needs to be a separate Bellarke moment, which is the haziest of all but also the most important, because that’s where beats about Bellamy’s story, and information about his state of mind etc, will go.

#the year 2022 #2022: writing projects #slide

[plush-rabbit]

Late Night Talks

Request: Hey! I hope you’re well sweetheart! I have a request, so I’m the youngest of my family (unfortunately) and a lot of the time I’m unheard and dismissed because of this, ngl I don’t have the best relationship with my family so it’s hard to connect with them, or talk to them. I kinda feel like white noise ya know? So Compress, Twice, and Dabi are my closest comfort characters. So how about them suddenly seeing the reader (probably late at night) talk about the things they enjoy with just stars in their eyes. It’s a harsh comparison to how they act during the day, it’s still them, but it’s just more raw.

🙇‍♀️

thank ya babes

A/N: I hope that you like this, I’m not sure what the harsh comparison was supposed to be but Im guessing it was supposed to be more reserved? (also babes, feel free to gush here, i love talking to yall)

-

Bubaigawara Jin:

Jin’s need for interaction and want for friendship makes him the perfect partner to talk to. He loves talking to you, his legs bouncing and hands flapping as he mentions something that he likes. Sitting beside you, he does most of the talking, how energy out matched and while he does talk, he also looks to you for commentary, wanting to remember that he isn’t alone. There are rare instances when you two are alone that you’ll talk more. The roles will be reversed and you’re talking about anything and everything, smiling at him and for the moment when your eyes lock, he feels the weight on his shoulders lift.

It’s not uncommon to find the villian and you in a single room together at night, often the words will travel the halls and you have to muffle your laughter. This night is one of those- he’s in your room at night, resting beside you as you talk about this new thing that you’re into. You’re eager, shifting in your seat, a bowl of popcorn nearing the end of the bowl, kernels accidentally grabbed at. You’ve grown so excited, your words tripping over each other as you try to find a way to make yourself comfortable all while he stares at you. You’re processing the words fast, trying to tell the story in a cohesive way but with your excitement you are unable to. You look at him with wide eyes and a grin that can nearly blind him.

You’re different at night. He’s unsure whether because your mind has grown groggy with sleep or if it’s because the likelihood of someone interrupting the both of you has lowered, but you’re different. You’re much more prone to touch- you reach for him and you playfully push at his shoulder, your tongue stuck between your teeth as you give him a coy grin. Perhaps it's due to you being so touchy, that he grows bolder with his movements, grabbing your hand and playing with it as you continue to speak, the bite to his words softening whenever you tease at him.

If it were up to him, he would listen to you for hours on end, locking the door and making sure that you two could just talk until time ran out. But, he knows that that’s impossible, so he lays down on your bed, his head resting on his palm as his elbow digs into your pillow. You’re much different to him when the dim lighting is all that illuminates the room, your hair holding a soft glow, the features on your face almost softer and he’s unsure whether it’s exhaustion that grips at him or something else, but he wants to stay awake, he wants to listen to you every night. You mean a great deal to him and he wants to hear you speak, will take every word and keep the important ones so he knows what you like and what to do.

Despite being tired, he wants to continue talking to you, hearing you talk but the night continues to go on, the sky turning a softer shade of blue, and your words are starting to drift. Jin will take over at that point, laying beside you, talking as you start to drift. He mentions things that you said, making a point to mention that you were the one who came up with that observation and talk about how that really stuck out to him. You voice continues, your words growing softer and your gaze on him now barely peeking between your lashes and yet, he is unable to tell you to go to sleep. It’s selfish of him, but he wants to hear you talk until you’re whispering your words into a single breath. The next day, when you can barely keep your eyes up and you’re talking to him, he’ll have an inside joke, your grin widening as you take joy that he listened to you. Under the table, his knee nudges against yours, his smile ever growing when you return the gesture.

Dabi:

Dabi enjoys hearing you talk- it’s soothing for him, something where he’s able to rest his head on your lap and have you play with his hair as he listens to you gush about whatever it is that you like. However, while he does so, he realizes that he has a habit of falling asleep on your lap. It isn’t because you’re boring, you’re just nice to listen to. Laying with you and hearing you talk is one of the few times where he’s at peace, safe in your arms and touched gently. However, he’s noticed the implications of it, noticing that you don’t talk as much as you did. His piercings are warm as they press against his palms, his eyes half-lidded as he tries to figure out a way to make it up to you or to show you that he does actually care for what you have to say.

Unable to sleep, he arises from his bed, walking towards the living area trying to find some sort of sleeping aid. Instead of sleeping aids, he finds you curled up on the couch, the screen of your phone lighting across your face. You give him a smile as a greeting, your focus returning to your show. He can see heavy bags under your eyes- you’re forcing yourself to stay awake. The couch is soft under him, his arms spread as he turns his gaze over to your show. Without a word, you align your phone to make sure that he’s watching it, your words are whispered as you explain the plot and the characters but as you continue to do so, your words excite and your volume raises gradually.

The night is somewhat young and as far as he knows, there’s no mission that he has tomorrow. He has to fix his past mistakes and he wants to hear you talk. He pushes more, asking about the relationships between the characters and even wanting you to restart the series from the first episode- if you want to, of course. When you do so, he makes himself comfortable on the couch, stealing your blanket and laying down, offering for you to sit close to him in a much more relaxed manner. He covers the both of you with the blanket, his arm stretched behind your back and hand resting on your shoulder.

In between episodes, you start to muse once more, ranging from the metaphors to your favorite lines, and to the designs that you like. Your legs bounce, shaking as you try to contain your excitement despite it being written all over you. He gives you his full attention, nodding his head along as you ramble. Your words are rapid, your expression focused entirely on him and he wonders if you’ve always been hiding all this excitement. You’re much more animated, moving your hands and arms, shifting as you speak and there’s a certain tone to your voice that makes him unable to look away.

Every word of yours is coated in sugar and honey, and he clings to it, nodding along and looking at you with half-lidded eyes, unable to wipe the soft smile off of his face. The show is forgotten, your phone now showing him pictures from different stills and you’re much more relaxed, leaning against him, your head pressed against his side. You have a wide smile, your eyes shining with stars as when you look up to smile at him, he returns it as all air escapes his lungs. Once Dabi can properly think, he enters the conversation, offering more than soft hums and words of interest. At night, he can see your smile, the way that you look at him with wide eyes, the giddiness in your voice is enough to wake up from his growing slumber. He could fall asleep listening to you, but he doesn't want to miss how you look when it’s just you and him.

Sako Atsuhiro:

Atsuhiro adores hearing you talk. He’s rather eccentric, always wanting for the spotlight to be on him, but when you talk, he doesn’t mind being the one entranced by you. He wants to hear you talk, to see the light in your eyes. Yet, he can tell you’re holding yourself back- you play with your hands, tug at the ends of your hair, and laugh nervously as you apologize, telling him that you didn’t mean to talk for so long. While it’s true that you might talk over people, he knows it’s because of how excited you are, willing to share whatever is on your mind before the thought fades.

It’s a late night for him, phantom pains that make it unable for him to sleep and even with the medication acting as a placebo, he’s unable to truly find peace. He finds you in the kitchen, mumbling to yourself as you prepare a late night snack. He knocks against the wooden wall in an attempt to announce himself before startling you but you still jump, turning around with wide eyes and a parted mouth, before relaxing once you take notice that it’s just him. When you ask why he’s up so late, he gestures to his arm, making a strained face as his hand clamps around the residual limb, the pain sharp as it shoots up into his shoulder. He asks what you were muttering about and when you turn your head, your lips pulled into a straight line as you’re clearly flustered at having been caught, he laughs, telling you to tell him- to get his mind off of the pain.

You start off slow, mumbling between words and telling him about a new thing that you like. Your words increasingly start to grow with confidence, your eyes on him as you share your late night snack. He listens to you, nodding along and saving the best piece of the snack for you, his chewing trying to be quiet so as to not interrupt your words. While he also wants to start to talk about one of his hobbies, he much rather listen to you. When you do take a bite, he asks his questions, encouraging you to continue talking, his arm resting against the table and he leans towards you, eager to grasp at every word that leaves past your mouth.

Stars are in your eyes, your tone softer and you go to hold his hand, your thumb, index and middle finger hooking over his middle and ring finger, your eyes wide and smile whimsical as you talk. Under the bare light of the kitchen, you’re softer, your eyes shadowed and your touch gentle as you begin to toy with his hand. You’re passionate about what you talk, and he wonders if when you look so eager, and so full of life, if it’s only something that you show to whoever catches you at night, to someone who can glimpse a version of you so real that he’s almost at a loss for breath.

Sleep gnaws at him, but he is unwilling to do so. His pain is gone, replaced with a dull ache that he knows he can sleep off, but he has stars in his eyes as he listens to you talk. Your voice is soothing, your laugh like a lullaby that only pulls him in further to you. His hand is warm, hispalm tickled by your nails and the snack now lays forgotten on the plate. He almost feels bad for wasting food, but he doesn’t have the will to pull his hand away and finish the food that you prepared. Every word that you speak only makes Atsuhiro want to smile, to lay on his bed and think about you and how you spoke to him. You talk, and he’d do anything to keep your voice memorized, to stay awake long when you've fallen asleep just to remember how your voice lilts when you start to get excited or how it drops during a serious part as if you were telling him a secret.

#bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #bubaigawara jin #jin bubaigawara headcanons #jin bubaigawara x reader #jin bubaigawara #bnha jin bubaigawara #bubaigawara jin x reader #bnha twice imagines #bnha twice x reader #bnha twice headcanons #dabi x reader #bnha dabi x reader #bnha dabi headcanons #dabi headcanons #bnha dabi #touya headcanons #touya todoroki #sako atsuhrio #bnha sako atsuhiro #sako atsuhiro headcanons #atsuhiro sako imagines #atsuhiro sako x reader #sako atsuhiro #sako atsuhiro x reader #atsuhiro sako #bnha mr. compress #bnha mr compress #mr. compress x reader

[drxwsyni]

doubts and desires︱albedo x f!reader

summary: letting go of the past is hard, but losing what you have now would be harder. leaving albedo is neither something you can do, or something you really want, it’s simply taken you a while to understand that. word count: 2k warnings: implied dubcon, stockholm syndrome, past kidnapping

Even with how Albedo had bundled you up in a hat, scarf, gloves, and coat―it still failed to ward off the chill that seemingly sucked the warmth right from your body. Yet you said nothing about it, the unwanted attention it would draw from him inevitable if you made your discomfort known. And, you were almost certain he would drag you back to the cabin if he knew how the cold was treating you.

You didn’t enjoy the biting temperatures, but you didn’t want leave. Not when it’s been so long since you descended the mountain, that you barely even remember the feeling of snowfall against your skin.

The whole situation he’s placed you in is really quite foreign―confusing.

In how he’s letting you accompany him in his research, not far from his―your home. A safe distance, so to speak. Or that’s what he said, at least.

You realized that the way he spoke of this outing, how it’d just be the two of you, and that you wouldn’t venture very far; they were words of comfort. Not said to reassure himself that things would go smoothly, but to calm the look of trepidation in your eyes from the mere suggestion of going outside.

Now, seeing Albedo’s nonchalant demeanour while he studies the petrification of a fallen tree, it puts your mind at ease. Sure, if you look closely you’ll be able to see the way his eyes flicker to your form every few seconds or so, making sure you were right where he left you, but generally the alchemist is calm.

It makes you calm, for a moment it feels like you’re able to settle down and appreciate the intricate beauty of the snow swept mountain you stand upon. Best to do so now, knowing it wouldn’t be long until he would lead you home, sheltered safely away from the danger of the mountain’s climate.

“Oh―I didn’t know you were to be researching today, Albedo sir.”

With your back turned to the newly appeared stranger behind you, the cold that had seeped into your bones no longer posed as the only thing holding you in place―it was also now an icy fear.

You watched unmoving from your spot as Albedo gave pause, a hint of contemplation flashing across his face before standing.

“Timaeus. I thought you were studying back in the city.”

The man, who you had yet to properly address, responded with a somewhat nervous laugh.

“Yes, well I was, but it led me to do my own research out in the field…”

Always in a strangely graceful manner, Albedo dusted off his pants and straightened his jacket. A look of unashamed disinterest painted his expression as Timaeus rambled on about his findings.

Truly, you don’t recall Albedo ever showing such emotions with you―a detail not necessarily heartwarming, but still reassuring in an indescribable way.

Perhaps it was due to you being so sure that he’d rid himself of you when you no longer proved useful. Which made the swirling of affection and enamour in his eyes when he gazed upon you settle your nerves, even in just the slightest.

“...which I unfortunately have yet to procure. But―ah, I’ve gotten ahead of myself again. My apologies, how is your research coming along. And...who might you be?”  

If Albedo recognized the look of severe anxiety flashing across your face, he paid no mind. Instead giving you a small, somewhat warm smile. As if to say, “Go ahead.”

The few seconds that passed were done in silence, you desperately trying to read Albedo’s face for ulterior motives, and the man behind you shuffling awkwardly in place while he waited for a response.

By some miracle, your body moved on autopilot, turning around to finally acknowledge the cause of your newfound distress. Only, you couldn’t even look him in the face.

Your mouth was dry, mind foggy and unable to think of a response that was anywhere near being coherent.

“...I―uh…”

“This is my new assistant. Please do forgive her, she’s quite shy.”

A shaky breath escaped your rigid body at the sound of Albedo’s voice, and the feeling of his hand resting gently upon the small of your back.

The blatant lie that only you and him recognized echoed inside your head.

Timaeus had no clue who you were, or what you meant to Albedo. But if he did know, you wondered what he would do.

“...Ah, it’s strange we’ve never met before.”

You could tell without looking that Timaeus was studying your form. With the way his tone shifted to something a little more unsettled, a pit grew in your stomach knowing how he had picked up on your questionable nervousness.

The hand resting on your back felt a little more heavy.

Albedo showed no signs of botherment, “That’s likely because she’s not from here.”

For some ungodly reason, the less experienced alchemist took this as an opportunity. “Oh, if that’s the case then we should show her around. Sucrose could use someone like herself to―”

“Actually, we were just leaving. I’m afraid I’ve kept her out in the cold too long, and descending the mountain any further is quite a reckless task in this weather―” His head turned to look at you, no longer addressing his student, “―right?”

If Timaeus was told of what his teacher had done to you, would he help? Even if he looks up to Albedo, even if everyone does, surely they would step in.

Only, the issue remained that first you’d have to prove to them you were in danger.

...And really, you weren’t. Not anymore.

The tender bruises around your wrists and ankles had healed long ago. Your health was in near perfect condition, what with how Albedo saw to it that you never did anything to put it at risk. A single and quick glance would show that you were so pristinely taken care of, complexion shining now that you no longer spent nights sleepless from fear.

What were you to even say?

Moreso, it remained true that you didn’t quite want to say anything.

Timaeus wouldn’t believe your truth, and Albedo would likely spin the scenario so that your words weren’t reliable anyways.

It dawned on you that Albedo knew this fact well, why else would he bring you with him if he wouldn’t still be entirely in control of the situation?

A simple movement, his hand drifted to your hip and gripped it firmly, urging.

Your voice, barely a whisper met his ears.

“...Of course…”

That was all he needed, sending an impatient, yet still neutral glance towards Timaeus, the smallest hint of self-satisfaction lingering in it.

His student took the hint.

_____

“I have to say, bringing you with me was quite...productive.”

After dinner, Albedo has you keep him company in his study. You, occupied with a book in a chair across from his desk, while he goes over his findings from the day’s outing.

“Research wise, I was able to study you in a foreign situation.” He continued, conversation one-sided, “The results were to my liking…”

Although construed in his ever sophisticated manner, his words told you that you did something right. He was proud, and that notion made the swell of a strange warmth in your heart grow.

The alchemist’s gaze remained downcasted at the papers strewn about in front of him while he spoke. “...I suppose you should be rewarded for such good behaviour.”

Your eyes flitted up, the story on your lap abandoned completely.

Albedo has never spoken of such a thing, not once entertaining the idea of rewards when he saw no reason to ever extend such gratitude. Even after all this time.

He must be especially pleased, you thought.

Perhaps, enough to grant you back even a small semblance of independence...that would most certainly be your wish.

You’d long grown used to his suffocating personality, the intense interest he paid you often resulting in little to no alone time. Albedo made sure you stayed in eyeshot, and in those inevitable times he needed to leave, he made them quick, and you were to be safely tucked away in the bedroom, door locked from the outside. There wasn’t a single detail he missed, no stone left unturned when trying to improve your security.

Unfortunately for you, it left little autonomy.

Just the smallest taste of self-reliance would be fine. You’d love to cook a nice meal, like the ones you used to make. Or perhaps to pick your own outfit one morning, something more your style than the things he put together for you. Any break from his constant guidance, no matter what shape or form, you’d gladly take―

“Why don’t you go get cleaned up then, I’ll meet you upstairs soon.”

Albedo neglected to look up as he spoke, and so he missed how the glimmer of anticipation in your eyes faded away. The way your shoulders dropped slightly, the look of disappointment flashing across your features in understanding of his words.

What he had planned, it was a reward...of sorts.

An excuse, as far as you saw it.

Albedo was known for testing the limits of living beings after all, and in certain ways, such studies extended to how he treats you. It’s a win win for him―he thinks it’s a reward, since he knows he can make you feel good, and doing so just shows him all those little things he can’t learn through idle observation. What makes you squirm or shy away with innocent embarrassment―information just as important as everything else he knows about you.

It doesn’t dissuade Albedo when he finally glances up to see what his offer has done, though the sight does make him feel as though he’s deceived you.

Still, he remains unapologetic. “While you gave me some good insight on how far you’ve...adjusted, I still can’t completely trust you. This merely turned out to be a good opportunity for satisfying your other needs―nothing more.”

Flipping open a nearby textbook, Albedo conveys wordlessly, a difficult habit of his, that the conversation has ended.

You, however, have yet to heed his words. Still seated, the once flickering of hope subsiding with each passing second. Call it grief, but you were sincerely expecting a different outcome. Though, knowing Albedo, and his constant need to grow more knowledgeable, you should’ve seen this coming.

“...I’d rather not have to force your compliance tonight. So, please―” He gestured towards the door with a wave of his hand, focus trained and brows barely knitted while he skims over his readings on the desk.

Honestly speaking, you once thought Albedo was a deeply confusing man. So too was the life he’d meticulously prepared, and swiftly forced you into. Yet, looking back, things may have been more simple than you once perceived.

Your only real job is to exist and comply. And you both know you’re not going anywhere, not going to say no. Especially now, given how effortless it feels to fall into routine, going through the motions of his request and carrying yourself upstairs.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you realize it’s too late for you, what feels like an eternity spent at Albedo’s side having just about rendered your fighting spirit useless. It’s been long since replaced with what you’re coming to know as a certain fondness. You want to see the compassion in his eyes that’s sparked by your willing compliance.

It was a single, tangible goal. Not complex and unobtainable like those tasks of your past life. Attempts at obtaining those desires are futile, when today's events proved you genuinely no longer want them anymore.

It’s much easier to make Albedo proud. You don’t realize that you do it everyday, and that he’s just poor at conveying his own emotions...

Drawing yourself a bath, you wash away past doubts, settling with what your life has turned into.

Distantly, you hear Albedo make his way up the stairs and towards your bedroom. You like knowing what’s to come, which is always something you’ll have with him. You can’t say the same if you leave, and so you finally resolve that you never will.

#yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #yandere albedo #yandere albedo x reader #genshin impact x reader #yandere x you #albedo x you #tw dubcon

[characteroulette]

well all rightie then, it’s time to analyse how DGS1 handles grief really well in my opinion

(once again, spoilers for all of DGS1)

(also some spoilers for the original trilogy games) (and a little of DGS2)

okay So my thesis statement here is that Asougi’s character in DGS1 is the vessel through which Ryuunosuke and Susato’s grief is explained. Everything about how they relate to Asougi is their dealing with their grief in a simple message: Loss hits hard, but you have to continue to live and love. Life Goes On, shaping that grief into yourself if you allow it.

We start off with Case 1 as our baseline. The set-up. It’s a routine to show what life is like for Ryuunosuke before tragedy. (Fitting for an AA protagonist to have their baseline of normal being accused of murder.) This case does a really, really good job of setting up Asougi as our friend, our partner, whom we might spend the rest of the game with.

(I mean, the death flag’s kinda obvious if you’re genre-savvy; the mentor must die so that the student may grow into their own. But Asougi’s so likeable! He’s confident, genuine with Ryuunosuke, comfortably teasing, and looks at you with the same eyes as Klavier. What’s not to love? Also that small hint of something deeper is so tantalising that for it to go unresolved is pretty unthinkable.)

It’s important for us to see how much Asougi means to Ryuunosuke, how much the two really are best friends. This set-up is pivotal to what happens next in Case 2: the drop.

The way Ryuunosuke reacts to learning about Asougi’s death is real. He tries to deny it at first, can’t bring himself to believe it. Especially since he’s been accused of the crime! But the moment he sees that photo of Asougi that Sherlock took, that’s where the truth of it hits and he can’t run from it anymore. All he can do is try to push past that biting grief to at least solve his friend’s murder and set things right.

Susato’s own grief is portrayed really well here, too. She’s so angered and clouded by it that she totally ignores the fact that Asougi and Ryuunosuke are best friends and believes Ryuunosuke to be the murderer. Really, she just blames Ryuunosuke because it’s easier that way, since the wound cuts just as deep for her.

What really strikes me, though, is how the whole case isn’t just a one-note misery. Like real life, the two slip into sadness when they remember their dear friend, but they’re still able to joke around. They still get upset or sarcastic or excited. Because, though their grief affects them immensely, the message is that life continues. It can’t just stop for them like it did for their friend; life goes on. Not out of malice, but out of necessity.

Also, the way Sherlock acknowledges their grief is pretty great. That felt hugely validating to me, how he tells them that their mourning is important and how his jovial, joking tone was never properly taking that into account. The way he continues breaking in at the end to lighten the mood, too, is his own genuine way of trying to help, exhausting though he may be. It’s appreciated, at the least, to keep us the players from breaking down into tears as the conclusion rolls with no real satisfaction at the mystery being solved.

That final conversation between Susato and Ryuunosuke, at least, is hugely cathartic to make up for that. It sounds like it should feel rushed, honestly, dealing with the majority of the grieving process in just Case 2, but it doesn’t at all. It seems properly healthy, like the two are doing their best by confiding and taking comfort in one another in order to celebrate Asougi’s goals, to keep going where he can’t. Ryuunosuke and Susato both form their resolve here to continue to live, not just for Asougi, but for themselves as well. For life’s sake.

Because, again, life goes on.

(A brief tangent: Seeing the contrast of this story versus the original trilogy is also a really neat sort of view into Shu Takumi’s growth as a writer. Or the AA series’ growth as a whole. How Edgeworth handled his grief by never really acknowledging it in AA1, how he basically ran away from it by refusing to live as a sort of punishment against himself, is really sad. Then Phoenix handling his grief in JFA by turning to anger and resentment is just as heartbreaking. Phoenix disavows himself from it, trying to spare himself the pain by denying it, which only hurt him more and he had to have everyone around him break him out of that awful mindset. Then in T&T it’s Godot’s grief which drives the plot, as he turns his anger on Phoenix unjustly. He blames Phoenix for Mia’s death and lashes out at everyone instead of allowing himself the time to properly grieve.

And then DGS1 comes along to say that maybe the answer is just that life goes on and we have healthier ways to reconcile with our grief and it’s just real neat to see!)

In Case 3 and 4, we can see through Ryuunosuke’s discussion with Lord Vortex (/Stronghart) the continuation of his handling this grief. It’s a burden, one Ryuunosuke doesn’t fully understand, but he fervently takes upon himself because we want to live for those we’ve lost. (It is the Wright way, the Naruhodou way, to take on the aspirations of the friends you’ve lost. To mimic their mannerisms, their ambitions, in order to keep them close to your heart.)

(That’s a whole other can of worms I could dive into, honestly, how their decision to give Ryuunosuke all of Phoenix’s poses for the whole ancestor vibe while ALSO making it clear that Ryuunosuke took them from Asougi to begin with, it’s just. It’s good, it’s perfect, it’s the same brand of gay the series is known for and I’m love it.)

You also see, as the trial of Case 3 progresses, how Ryuunosuke is basically just living off of ‘what would Asougi do?’ as Susato coaches him along and it’s fun and bittersweet all the way through. Case 4 is where he gains more confidence in himself, but he still defaults to thinking of Asougi’s unwavering trust in him to help him and every time it’s handled with tenderness and shows just how much Ryuunosuke loved his friend.

And, if you’re like me and take every opportunity to examine Asougi’s badge and present it to Susato (/others), you see how they continue to grow with their grief. It starts off with both of them being unable to say much, still weighed down heavily by Asougi’s loss. Though they are continuing and life goes on, it’s still a wound too fresh to approach and hard for them to properly explain.

By Case 5, though, the two of them are more conversational. They’ve found their words, they’ve mended that wound as much as possible so that life won’t leave without them. It still hurts, of course, but it’s easier to think about. It’s easier to reconcile when they’ve been working hard and making friends and continuing to live. It’s small, but the progression is there and I really appreciate it.

Speaking of Case 5, though, everything about this one, in regards to Asougi, is pure catharsis. It really is like they’re looking their grief right in the face and accepting it as a part of themselves. Ryuunosuke looks back on his friend not just with fondness, but with gratefulness that Asougi could make such a big impact on his life.

(This is similar to the whole Phoenix and Mia thing, I feel, since Phoenix often thought of his mentor with the same sort of tone. At least, I think so. Remarkable how Phoenix’s grief can mirror the finalised version of Ryuunosuke’s with the help of spirit channeling! /joke)

Ryuunosuke and Susato have etched Asougi into their hearts and their persons and it’s just really, very good I like it a lot.

(okay time for a few paragraphs on DGS2 and Asougi)

Case 1 one DGS2 is a neat look into Susato’s mind and thought process. You can definitely tell she’s still just a 16-year-old with the mistakes she makes and how she tries to handle her own arguments, which is very cute. We also get to see her actually talking to Asougi’s grave and then see how her own relationship with Asougi has influenced her style (/poses) and aspirations. (Ryuunosuke, too. It’s cute to see how she’s ended up a mixture of both of them.) And it’s a great rug pull moment for the player, since the way that the grief is handled in DGS1 is so good and (almost) final that hearing Asougi might not actually be dead is a bit like digging up old wounds. I mean, we went the entirety of the first game coming to terms with his death, what do you mean his body went missing??

(Case 2 serves as a reminder. Like haha remember how Susato and Ryuunosuke both love Asougi and are sad about his death? Here’s the baseline again, get ready to have it wrecked!)

And Case 3 is phenomenal, too. The way Van Zieks is so understanding in his response to showing him Asougi’s badge is just. It’s perfect, he’s so gentle and empathetic that it shocks Ryuunosuke (even though Ryuunosuke did the same understanding and concern for Van Ziek’s situation Ryuunosuke please). Then the way that Ryuunosuke sees Asougi, disguised in a cloak and mask, and immediately recognises him. To me, that really shows how much he loved his friend. He knew Asougi for about a year and it’s been about nine months since Asougi’s death, yet Ryuunosuke recognises him just by the way he carries himself.

But, to him, Asougi is dead. He’s made peace with that. So, even if it plays on his mind, he can’t allow himself to think that. He puts it out of his mind completely and doesn’t think on it again.

At least, until Susato (who reacted very realistically by shutting down the possibility that Asougi might still be alive because that means Sherlock lied and she couldn’t take having that hope break her worse than before) sees the exact same thing just as immediately and shouts after him. The fact that they both see this disguised man and know it can be no one besides Asougi is insane. It’s love. It makes me cry, I wish they could’ve hugged him during the big reveal (though I know Japanese culture’s just not like that).

Anyway, DGS2 diatribe over. Back to the conclusion.

The whole of DGS1 is just a masterful example of how grief doesn’t have to destroy you, of how life can go on and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and how channeling that grief into motivation to keep their memories alive can be powerful. That it’s okay to still feel grief even as you heal, that it’s okay to have fun and keep living even as you mourn. Life is a mixture of levity and tragedy and, to me, DGS1 nails that mixture with perfection.

Absolutely legendary. Join me next time when I dive into the main theme of DGS2, which is literally ‘the dead will come back to life to haunt you’ thanks for coming to my essay talk

#Momo writes stuff #DGS1 #DGS2 #DGS #Ace Attorney #The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles #The Great Ace Attorney #Ryuunosuke Naruhodou #Ryunosuke Naruhodo #Susato Mikotoba #Kazuma Asougi #Kazuma Asogi #Barok van Zieks #Phoenix Wright #Miles Edgeworth #spoilers #DGS spoilers #Life Goes On #in this essay I will #I went on some wild tangents in this one sorry #Grief as embodied by a person #and how we relate to that person #and that person is Asougi hahaha #seriously these games are so good #go play the Great Ace Attorney it's so good #literary analysis brain go brrr

[a-crimson-lion]

The Past Is Present (In All The Wrong Ways…)

So I saw that @elflynns-horde-of-stuff wanted to talk about BNHA 319, and I was going to send her and ask, but then I let my thoughts go on too long, so… everyone gets this gigantic brain dump. Enjoy :D

[Fair warning: no immediate Bakubashing, but it does come in later. I’m not joking, if you don’t like that, AVOID it. Please. Thank you.]

Now there’s a LOT to unpack with this chapter, and I might not be able to put all of it in words, so let me try and boil it down to what I believe is the core issue:

People are recognizing Midoriya’s bulls*** without recognizing Bakugo’s bulls***.

[TL;DR at the very end, just so you know.]

Which, let me be clear, is completely fair. I like Midoriya as a character, he’s obviously one of my favorites, but hoo BOY am I sick and tired of the s*** he has to go through and the s*** he’s pulling! I understand he’s going through a lot of stress right now and he doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt, but from a completely professional standpoint, that is LITERALLY THE JOB. His other friends are literally HEROES (in training) that have also been through their fair share of UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONAL BULLS*** BECAUSE OF SHONEN LOGIC, so realistically trying to protect them, while noble, does kinda come off as insulting. And I get the whole savior complex thing, because the whole “its my responsibility, let me handle it” isn’t entirely irrational on its own.

The previous holders of OFA more or less signed up for the responsibility.

Nana Shimura signed up for the responsibility, not her family.

Toshinori Yagi signed up for the responsibility, not his friends and (found) family.

Izuku Midoriya signed up for the responsibility, not his mom, not his friends.

...except AFO isn’t just targeting OFA, though that is a big priority on his to-do list.

Except AFO, as a villain, isn’t just OFA’s responsibility.

Except even if innocent people can’t and shouldn’t be brought in the crossfire, Midoriya’s friends aren’t civilians. A good bulk of Midoriya’s allies aren’t civilians. They’re heroes. They signed up for this. Maybe not taking on an ancient evil like AFO, but hey, most villains nowadays AREN’T a part of the standard deal.

The thing about a savior complex is that you often have a blindside.

And from a more personal perspective, I’m not a big fan of the whole “protagonist repeats history” kinda deal, especially with the way BNHA framed itself as a sort of “next-gen” shonen which was supposed to be kinda sorta different. And the thing is, we already have several examples of the same story with the previous OFA holders, especially Nana and Toshinori, which we’ve seen in glimpses on several occasions.

Internally, it does make sense for Midoriya to be repeating the mistakes of his predecessors. Personally, I think it would make more sense if Midoriya’s inferiority complex manifested in a different way (and maybe show us the dangers of that heroic isolation through Nana and Toshinori in more fleshed out flashbacks so that part doesn’t get completely left out). But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Now, with all my grievances of Midoriya settled… Bakugo.

Before I go to deep into AntiBaku mode, let me just say right now: I kinda get what he was going for.

He’s not being an arrogant loudmouth like usual because he’s letting his ego talk; he’s doing it because that’s what’s familiar to him AND to Midoriya. Midoriya is used to Bakugo when he acts like that, he hasn’t shown any serious signs of not being receptive to Bakugo when he’s like that (at least not recently), so Bakugo uses that in the hopes that maybe that familiarity will get Midoriya to stop and think. It’s worked before, right?

And in all fairness, maybe those insults are trying to get to Midoriya, too. He’s not thinking of OFA as some grand blessing, he’s not trying to be another All Might (the manga went as far to show us how much Izuku does NOT look like a traditional hero right now), so maybe Midoriya will stop and try to reason with his friends, and maybe come to reason with himself as well.

...or he’ll think Baku is full of s*** trying to set him off and just keep moving along, both out of annoyance and thinking Bakugo doesn’t really understand.

(This is where trying to understand Bakugo ends by the way.)

Because all of the above is assuming that Bakugo is approaching normal circumstances. Which he’s not.

Midoriya is tired, both mentally and physically. Midoriya has a very, VERY bad person trying to cut him off from everything, and everyone, and it’s working. Midoriya is under the impression that if he doesn’t keep moving, if he doesn’t try to fix this mess that HE signed up for, people that don’t deserve to get hurt are going to get hurt.

All Might is one of those people. His friends and classmates are some of those people. BAKUGO is one of those people.

And right now, all Bakugo is doing is getting in close proximity, doing what he usually does. He’s not changing his approach to throw Midoriya off, because he’s not that kinda person. He’s trying to talk Izuku down because that is his usual approach, and it’s worked before. Even if Midoriya ultimately contradicted his words, he’s always at least acknowledged Bakugo and what he’s had to say. So Bakugo’s trying to get him to realize how it looks from his perspective: Midoriya is getting a big head, he’s not ready for this responsibility, he’s not supposed to be this way.

...but that’s not what Midoriya’s hearing.

Right now, if I had to guess, the only thing Midoriya is processing right now is that he’s not enough. All Bakugo’s taunts are doing is inflaming his inferiority complex, reminding him that he’s not doing enough. He’s not a “Majesty… successor of One For All” because he’s NOT focusing on the clout, and from Midoriya’s perspective, he’s been doing a s*** job of helping people after the Nagant fiasco and with tracking down AFO and Shigaraki in general. He’s not an “All Might wannabe” because All Might can’t help right now, and even if he could, he’d be doing a lot better in Izuku’s eyes, because even if Toshinori Yagi was human, painfully so, All Might was always, ALWAYS, the #1 Hero for a reason.

...and how can Midoriya live up to that? What has he done to live up to that, to live up to ANYTHING, really?

Midoriya isn’t focusing on how much he’s done. He’s focusing on how much he hasn’t done.

“I can still move…” ...becuase I haven’t moved enough. Because I haven’t done enough.

With that said, time to switch topics: Bakugo’s understanding of the situation, while more extensive than anyone else, is also limited in its own right. I have problems with him claiming he knows All Might and Midoriya better than anyone else because of the sequence of events leading up to that are, realistically speaking (shocking, I know), completely contrived (aftermath of the Battle Trial, DvK2, subsequent invitation to secret OFA meetings). But that’s also because really, there’s a lack of complete awareness on Bakugo’s part, which isn’t expected, but still important.

Neither Bakugo nor Midoriya (nor the readers/viewers, really) know the full extent of All Might’s history as Toshinori Yagi. Midoriya probably knows a lot more of it than Bakugo does from a purely personal perspective, but that’s still not much, so Bakugo’s claim of knowing All Might is kinda :/ Then what about Izuku? Well…

Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that he bullied Midoriya. Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that Midoriya’s sense of self-worth is non-existent. But has Bakugo ever really acknowledged the impact he personally had on the latter?

Bakugo has been willing to see that the way he treated Midoriya was unjust, I won’t deny that. But as of now, we have yet to see Bakugo properly, explicitly realize that HE is the major contributor to Midoriya’s lack of self-worth. As far as Bakugo’s concerned, this is just another thing that Midoriya’s been doing since he was a kid. Except the fact that it’s not. Midoriya’s selflessness was always there.

...his lack of self-preservation came later.

And that’s the crux of the issue, really (finally, no more babbling): Bakugo is trying to tell Midoriya that he isn’t enough, but Midoriya is used to that. He grew up with it, heard it on repeat, internalized it. Not just from Bakugo, even if he was at some point a major contributor. And that’s Midoriya’s driving force: he’s not enough, he needs to do more, he can’t stop. There’s logic in Bakugo’s approach, but first off, it’s f***ing stupid logic, and second, logic doesn’t translate well to emotion. Even if Bakugo is doing what he’s doing with Izuku’s well-being in mind, he’s completely missing the point and kinda coming off as a dick, both externally and from a meta standpoint.

Izuku Midoriya doesn’t need Katsuki Bakugo trying to talk him down. He’s used to that.

Izuku Midoriya needs someone to tell him he’s done enough, plain and simple. No backhanded compliments, no workaround taunts. He needs someone like All Might- no, someone like Toshinori Yagi. He needs someone who is willing to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he is enough, that he’s done enough.

More than enough people have already acknowledged Katsuki Bakugo.

Not enough people have truly acknowledged Izuku Midoriya.

TL;DR: Midoriya needs help, but the way Bakugo is going about it could actually backfire and feels shortsighted.

-Crimson Lion (9 July 2021)

#anti bakugo #anti bakugou #kinda #just to be safe #meta #long post #rant #vent #not putting it in the main tag #but this is about midoriya and bakugo just so y'all know #and obviously this is about ch 319 #just putting it like this so people aren't completely in the dark if they're reading the tags #Word Count: 1633 #incoherent rambling #i think i forgot some of the other stuff i wanted to say #i did say more than enough tbf #...intentions aside #i still don't get why people are more focused on bakugo's issues more than midoriya's #with midoriya we see he's going down the deep end and we automatically recognize it for what it is #but with bakugo people come up with every justification under the sun because 'no he's not being an asshole. he has a reason!' #izuku has his reasons too. they don't mean s***. he's being self-destructive. his reasons be damned. #same goes for baku continuing to act like it hasn't already been a year. i don't care about his reasons or what he thinks he knows. #he's still acting like an ass. he's still trying to be an alpha male. he's still demeaning izuku (intentionally or otherwise) and has yet t #properly acknowledge the part he played in making izuku feel worthless. #no amount of reason covers for destroying someone's self-worth. it's still wrong. #...a'ight i'm done. #wonder how things are gonna go on from here. there isn't a guarantee for the story's direction. #...not sure whether to be curious or terrified. i'll be both. #again there's more i can say but i already used up most of the tags lol #might make another post but that's honestly a coin flip. still a possibility though.

[defdaily]

BEAUTY+ Magazine May 2021 issue featuring JAY B: The Second Act

Translated by defdaily

Among the past, present, and future, which do you think about the most?

The present. I believe that the present is the most important. The future makes you worry constantly, and the past makes you regret constantly so I try not to think about them. Now, I try to make decisions I won’t regret.

Do you think about your current state and things you want to do?

I contemplate a lot about the state of my emotions or what to do in my current situation. Ever since I was young I thought it’d be good to live like the flowing water, tranquilly. You know how water changes its state based on its surroundings. I want to be someone in the free water-like flow.

Has your life until now been like free-flowing water?

My life itself may seem spectacular, but I think the flow of my life itself has been. There was a lot I was lacking in since debuting with GOT7 but I tried my best to show a colour suitable for GOT7. I changed myself according to the container I was in, and instead of being stagnant in one place, I think I flowed here well.

You seem to be careful with choosing an agency. What factors are you contemplating about?

I think about whether I will suit the company. It might be tiring for others to see because I’m so meticulous, and I may seem selfish but I think that I should be selfish right now. My future depends on it as well as the future of the company I will be going to. I think I will have to be selfish for both sides to produce good results.

The members showed their natural sides in the Encore music video. Looking back to 7 years of GOT7’s activities, what is the most memorable moment?

Since we’re performing artists, I remember a lot of moments on stage. 2-3 years ago in Thailand we performed our solo tracks for 7 days and then performed OUT all together as a group. I think a lot about how we were all so excited to perform. I think of those times we were together as seven.

What kind of team was GOT7? Judging as a leader?

The direction of GOT7 I thought of was a fun and free-spirited team. Since Look came out, I’ve been telling the company that we “shouldn’t try too hard to set the mood or look cool. Songs with a style like Look will be our strength.” I don’t think things turned out the way I thought they would. But as you can see from our last album’s song ‘Breath,’ it feels like we went in circles and came back to our original spot. There is some regret about how it would've been good to go more in that direction, then we could’ve shown a more solidified colour. But as a result, it’s a fact that we became a team capable of pulling off various colors.

Did you make those suggestions thinking about the members, because you thought it was what set you guys apart from other groups?

I talked a lot with my members. It seemed like they had the most fun with bright, fun, and chill performances. With performances like that, we think about harmony rather than how each of us can look cool. It leaves a greater impression on the fans when we are visibly having fun.

It seems like the public has also watched over the growth of JAY B. Starting as a bboy to a main vocalist, and writing many remarkable K-pop songs. You also played a huge role in establishing GOT7’s colour. What led you to grow and develop in that way?

I thought that if I felt like I wasn’t growing, then I should quit music.

Does liking it not serve as a reason?

Because it’s my job. Being able to do what you like as a job is something to be grateful for. But if my skills don’t meet the standards and if there is no growth despite my efforts, it’s only right to do it as a hobby. I didn’t think that there was no growth when listening to my music. I thought it could work if I tried a bit more.

What was a song you feel like you reached a new level?

‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE.’ I think the team’s color was completed with those songs. It helped me realize that I had the potential to write such songs. At first, I was persistent with sticking to my musical color. Later, I changed my thoughts and decided I should write songs suitable for GOT7. It’s something I should obviously do as a member of the team. I think that’s where ‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE’ lined up very well.

The album 7 for 7 containing ‘Teenager’ was a turning point for GOT7. Through that album, we got the feeling that you guys found your color and most importantly, the quality of the songs written by the members was great. What happened during that time?

I think that’s when our potential exploded (laughs). GOT7 had three turning points. The first was ‘Stop Stop It.’ We heard the song and thought “Wow, this is it.” But the outfits were a bit regretful. The music and the visuals didn’t really match. We wore overalls (laughs). The second turning point was when the Flight Log trilogy was released, and the third was ‘Teenager’ of 7 for 7. That song later led to ‘Look’ and we got to sing ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY.’ Then we suddenly tried to change our direction to ‘ECLIPSE’ and ‘You Calling My Name’ but eventually ended up back to ‘Breath.’

When you listen to ‘Look’ or ‘PAGE’, do you feel like GOT7’s musical colour reflects your own preference and style? And you’ve made many GOT7 songs with ØFFSHORE crew.

It’s hard to say it wasn’t reflected. But according to my standards, they are songs I wanted to write for the team. I talked a lot with the crew about what (kind of song) should GOT7 do and what would suit GOT7. ‘Look’ was a song that was released because the mood suited GOT7 well. After that it was ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY’. Our colour was included naturally.

The 8 members of ØFFSHORE are consistently releasing albums. How is that taking place?

We talk about what we feel and decide on a theme whenever we want to release an album. When we decide on a theme, each person would write songs relating to the theme, we select songs and release an album. The themes usually come up as we are talking casually about life. For example <Scene 1> contains the process of leaving on a trip until coming back. Rather than the lyrics, the moods of the songs are like that. When you start the trip you listen to fun songs then (we) get a little calmer as the trip comes to an end. I organised the order of the songs for <Scene 2>. When talking with friends, you usually start by talking about work then you talk about life, the future and then you end up talking about love and relationships. I organised it as that kind of story. There is no specific goal. We spend the revenue from albums on production for the next album. Because everyone in the group are people who make music, there are things that were settled music-wise through these promotions.

You must have been influenced by your friends a lot not only musically, right?

Yes, of course. Regarding life too. I listen to what my older brothers/friends and my parents have to say. I think about the stories of the people who experienced it first once again. One older friend said “We are not doing this for a huge goal, don’t get stressed and let’s just make music.” When I was pondering about how to do better, I heard that and it hit me. Should I say, those words painted my life with colour. I felt like working with energy and strength didn't suit me at the time.

Is it true that you have made 3 albums? Do you only work on songs every day?

Yes. I usually stay in the studio when I can't do my hobby. And since the people I meet are friends who do music too. I don’t know if I can release an album but I’m preparing and working on it.

What kind of albums are they?

In the past, I made powerful “performance-type” songs, but for this album the mood is calmer and the sound is minimal. There is an acoustic feel too. There is a soft tender album, a sad album and a melancholic album too.

Where did the desperation come from?

The desperation of life. I can’t talk about it in detail but there was a topic I really wanted to talk about when I made the album. It could become an album that people frown upon. But, for the music I do alone, I thought I should include honest stories that match my situation.

Did you write about the pain and difficulties you’ve felt all this time? On the surface, you seem to be a recognised leader of a successful idol group, but you must have faced difficulties.

Yes. It’s one part of my life too. Looking back, the difficulties were caused by my own tendencies rather than external factors.

Is it because of the perfectionism you push onto yourself? It seems like the uncertainty and fear contributed to creating your current self.

Yes, I’ve never thought of myself as a perfectionist but people around me often tell me so. They must have a reason for saying that so I ended up acknowledging it myself. I was really ambitious with GOT7 too so I felt a lot of disappointment and stress. I work hard because I know if I don’t, it’ll come back to me as regret. It’s okay to look back to times when I didn’t know well enough and think, “I should’ve done this, I was naive.” What I hate is doing just enough because of reasons like lack of stamina despite knowing what I need to do and knowing that I’m not yet satisfied.

Until now, you’ve made music with the name Def. and through the JUS2 comeback, you also let us hear dreamlike songs from a baritone. Escaping from the category of idol, you now need to create a new identity – is there a kind of music you would like to do fresh?

It’s hard to say it rashly now but, whatever I do, I want to do it properly and solidly. I do prefer a relaxed and easygoing mood, but when it comes to music genres, R&B, hip hop, urban and pop will definitely be the groundwork. However, I do hope that my image will not be fixed to one (genre). It’s no fun to keep doing the same kind of music. And I’m sure there are times when I’ll have to become a little wilder. It’d be great if (I had) a free image. I also hope it’s an image that I won’t be embarrassed of. After coming to a new company and releasing an album, if it doesn’t do well, I think it would be right for me to leave.

Aren’t you fearing failure too much? How would it be possible to achieve what you wish in one go?

Of course, I’m scared. I’m very afraid of failure. Naturally, it won’t be possible to succeed in one shot, but I do have the standard of my Maginot line*. That is what I am referring to. I am usually the type that thinks of the negative things first. It’s not good to be unprepared for the worst-case scenario.

*Maginot line – taken from the fortifications that created the French line of defence, now coming to mean “a defensive barrier or strategy that inspires a false sense of security”

You’ve said that GOT7 has not disbanded, however since all the members are under new companies, coming back together as GOT7 will not be an easy thing to achieve. What kind of method are you thinking of?

I’ve talked a lot with the members. It’s our goal to write one song each month for GOT7. If it’s 1 year, then that’s 12 songs. All our members write songs, so if each one of us does that, then we can accumulate a lot of songs. Everyone is in different companies which will have their own situations, so I can’t make promises for certain, but our goal is to release one album every year. It would be great for that to happen, and I personally think that it should happen. Because that is the minimum courtesy we should show to our fans. It would be even better if we could have a stage.

It would be a new concept.

We heard that the release of our song ‘Encore’ was in an unprecedented manner, and this made my sense of duty and responsibility bigger. Because the steps we take in the future could influence the direction that others may take in the future too. I thought it was the end, but it’s only just the beginning,

Amongst your many hobbies, is there anything you would like to recommend?

Camping. Activities such as setting up tents and cooking really make you think. Even just sitting down in a chair surrounded by nature is really great. Waking up to the sounds of birds singing is amazing; the sound of water running too. Recently, I bought a folding furnace and create my own little fire space. It could be seen as something embarrassing but while having the fire there, if negative thoughts come up, I write it down and then burn it in the fire. If you think that camping may be tiring, glamping would be good too.

Since the name of the magazine is Beauty+, I wanted to ask, is there something that you thought was beautiful recently?

People passed by me laughing and making some noise, and as I saw that, I thought that laughter was something really beautiful. I realised why smiling and laughing is a beautiful thing. It’s not just laughing or smiling, but the emotions that encompass that are really so beautiful. Everything natural is beautiful.

Translated by defdaily.

#def. #jaebeom #lim jaebeom #defdaily:trans #got7 jb #interviewtrans #defdaily #jay b

[wizkiddx]

heyheyhey idk if u do req but love your dad tom stuff! PLZ PLZ do tom helping his kids with homework but cant do it and reader has to help and its all fluffy 😩💕

ye im down to do req and this had me going completely ott cos its v cute (and a lot less angsty than what ive written recently aha) so apologies for my ramblings:

Summary: tom has the kids for a day and maths homework throws a spanner in the works - tomhollandxreader

implied smut + v slight reference to porn but basically just fluff I promise xox

\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////

Tom had dealt with a lot of whining today. Nova and Leo were the absolute joys of his life, there was no doubt about it. Of course, he also loved you a hell of a lot too - sometimes to his detriment though, hence the position he was in now. 

You’d had a busy week at work and he had been away for the first half of it - leaving you as an almost single mother to a 5 and a 7 year old. So completely fairly, you’d asked if he wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a the day on Sunday, allowing you to go to a friends baby shower. There was no answer but to agree, Tom loved quality time with the kids and he wanted you to kick back and relax with you friends too. 

However the afternoon had not been nearly as idealistic as it were supposed to be in his head. You had left him only one real job (apart from the unavoidable essentials of keeping the kids alive with food and water, something you’d hope he need not be reminded about now). Really it shouldn’t of been that hard, it was just each kid had two pieces of homework. After convincing and cajoling the kids into sitting at the table which he’d already set up with Nova’s ‘Liverpool FC’ and Leo’s ‘captain marvels’ pencil case, the English was easy. 

In fact 5 year old Leo took great joy out of writing a poem with his Dad, which basically involved trying to rhyme any word with another - especially when he tried to convince Tom that all his completely fictitious words were real and worked together. A personal favourite had been ‘snakes’ and ‘palakes’ which Leo was convinced meant pancakes - arguing so vehemently Tom almost started to doubt himself on basic English. 

Thankfully though his eldest and most sensibly child eventually took him out his misery. If anyone had any control over the Holland boys, Leo and Tom - it was the Holland girls. You and Nova had both boys completely under you spell, often taking advantage of the fact too. It was only when Nova got bored of hearing Tom and Leo mock arguing, interspersed with the little boys giggles that Tom tried his absolute hardest to keep a straight face at, that she swooped in.

“Stop being silly Leo, mummy told you he’s not good at school!” She looked oh so innocent, eyes immediately flicking down to continue the little short story she was happily going on with. In response  Tom scowled, knowing your highly curious and intelligent daughter had asked you (for one reason or another) why he was not so academic. Yet instead of Leo bursting out laughing, instead he just nodded and accepted it too - making Tom scowl even more. Not even Leo thought it was a joke. 

So apart from his children apparently taking pity on his simple mind, it was all going smoothly. Perhaps, due to the thankful fact your children had inherited their brains from their mother - something Tom was forever thankful for, until he was shamed for his substandard intellect in the family. Then again though, he was Spiderman. So take that. 

Until Nova brought out her maths sheet. Then the afternoon quickly descended into chaos. It was fractions, something she hadn’t quite grasped from school yet - a concept that still hurt her head somewhat. Normally though it’d be fine, she’d bring the sheet to you and the two of you used ‘ girl power’ to figure it out… you prior experience as a tutor while in uni helping you know how to break through to her. 

Unfortunately Tom didn’t share this same experience. Nor did Tom share a maths qualification… something that had evaded him completely during his schooling career. Of course, it had never been a particular issue, acting didn’t require the use of maths and algebra and Tom was in a very lucky position of being able to pay someone to manage his finances from a very young age. So no, dividing 2/3 and 3/7 didn’t come the most naturally to him. Or at all to be quite honest. 

“I CANT DO IT AND GRACE IN MY CLASS COULD!” For context, Grace was one of her school friends, who forever liked to compare herself to the young Holland - especially because she was normally ahead. Nova had gone from quiet frustration, staring at the questions with her tongue sticking out slightly, to one of pure rage - yelling at her dad with tears in her eyes. Nova was normally incredibly intuitive, she always found it difficult when she couldn’t do something. Now, with a ‘teacher’ who was more useless than her - the frustrations inevitably bubbled over. 

“Hey, we can work it out, just calm-“

“YOU CANT DO IT EITHER YOUR STUPID “ She was just young and frustrated, Tom tried not to take it personally but … it wasn’t always easy. Chiefly because this was the height of offensive statement Nova knew - this was her version of adult explicit language. 

“Nova you can’t be rude.” He used his stern voice, something Tom very rarely used with his little girl. Though he never wanted to upset her, neither did he want her to think it was ever okay to be so rude to anyone like that- no matter how crappy at maths they were. It hurt him to do so but it was necessary - life lessons about the importance of being kind needed to be learnt. And it worked… if what Tom was aiming for was his beautiful baby girl’s eyes to brim with sparkling tears, her bottom lip quivering slightly. 

Instantly Tom’s eyebrows drooped, trying to fight his natural reaction to scoop her onto his knee and reassure her everything was okay. But as you had lectured him many a time before, he had to put his foot down once in a while. So instead, the father and daughter were locked in a silence and intense eye contact, until Nova hesitantly began to speak. 

“I’m sorry Daddy.” During which, Nova shoved her chair back, making it screech against the tiled floors uglily before running off up the stairs. Tom knew she was crying a lot. Knew this was going to take a bit of fixing. 

With a sigh of his daughters name, Tom popped his head into the living to check on Leo who had already finished all his stuff. Seeing him completely zombified in front of ‘paw patrol’ on TV, Tom trudged up the stairs. He knew where she was, when Nova was upset she always hid in the corner of her wardrobe and cried in the darkness. So after steadying himself with a little internal monologue of how to approach the situation Tom walked in and sat down beside the wardrobe - knocking on the door slightly. 

“Nova… can we talk please?” All he heard was sniffing echoing from the wooden chamber until she tried to shout through the door.

“Go-go… go away daddy.” It broke his heart, the way her voice wavered, making Tom pout - gently letting his head fall against the wardrobe doors. 

“I don’t want you to be upset beautiful…. And you did apologise which I appreciate. You know why Daddy got angry right?” Her sniffles heightened before she muttered a quiet ‘yes’. “And you are sorry? Because that might’ve made me really sad too.”

“I’m s-s-sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“Then that’s good and we don’t need to cry. You want a cuddle little one?” Before Tom could even properly get up the door was being pushed open by her little hands, revealing a tear stained face and big glassy eyes looking up at her Dad. Swiftly Tom scooped her up and out of the cupboard, whispering to her while she buried her face in his chest. 

“Oh come here my little bean.”

//////////////////////

When you came home late that evening, only mildly exhausted from spending the whole day gossiping with your girls, it was weirdly quiet. All the lights were out in the front room, which made you close the door gently, thinking Tom had managed to exhaust the kids - and himself in the process. With a relieved sigh at the peace you pattered into the kitchen to get yourself a drink (it had been a little concern that Tom would’ve worked the kids into a hyperactive and delerious state that kept them up long past bedtime - which ultimately you’d have to deal with). The house was remarkably silent and though it was clear from the littered toys everywhere that it had indeed been Tom alone in charge, everything seemed pretty okay. 

It was only as you were about to head upstairs to join your hubby in bed that you realised the study light was still on, streaming through the small crack in the doorframe. Assuming Tom had just neglected to turn it off, in otherwords Tom being Tom, you nudged it open with your hand. Surprisingly though, there was your husband, hunched over the desk, looking almost angrily focused - between the computer screen and a piece of paper below him. Normally you would’ve just assumed it was another script sent over or an edit Harry had sent of another screenplay they were writing together. 

But no, the blatant red flag was the screen that you could see. A screen on YouTube, of a man pointing at a whiteboard of fractions. 

So with a soft wrist you wrapped your knuckled on the side of the door, even if you had technically already entered the room. The reaction had you stifling a laugh, it was as if you’d caught him watching something *less PG* the way he jumped out his seat, closing the browser immediately. 

“Love!! I -er … didn’t know you’d got back?”

“I just did.” You smiled gently, while walking into stand behind his chair, wrapping your arms round his neck and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Soooo…. what’ca doingggg” The glee in your voice was evident, making Tom groan and shut his eyes. 

“I hate you, you know that right?” 

“No you don’t… but you were watching a primary school video on fractions, if I’m not so mistaken?” He sighed deeply, making a point of turning the paper with his scribbles over to obscure it. 

“Nova’s homework.. she couldn’t do it and neither could I, so then she basically screamed at me for being thick and udseless and then had a breakdown.” 

Now you felt guilty. This was a bit of a sore spot with Tom, he always for some reason felt inferior because of his academic ability. Which was stupid- mainly because he was the most clever and talented man you’d ever met. Just…. Just not at fraction. 

“Oh T… you could’ve just left it for me to do with her, I don’t mind.”

“That’s not the point Y/n.” He snapped a little, shrugging your arms off him and spinning in the chair so he could face you. “She’s my daughter and I should be able to help her! It’s not like it’s that hard, it’s just I’m unbelievable thick.”

“Tom stop. Look - you can do this I assure you, it’s just been a long old time ‘kay? Your rusty and that’s only natural.”

“I really don’t think I could ev-“

“Can I teach you? It’s just the method and then I promise you’ll get it.”

It took a bit of persuasion but eventually Tom agreed, letting you pull the corner chair forward to beside his desk so you could demonstrate it to him. To be fair, he really could do it- just a bit of familiarising on the ‘stick-change-flip’ method. The way the lightbulb moment literally caused his face to light up; scurrying to do the question for himself, tongue sticking out in the process; then presenting it to you proudly - well it had you melting in your seat. 

“See! That took all of 5 minutes and you got it.” You elbowed  his side by leaning forward in the chair, which instead of letting go, Tom reached and caught, before pulling you up and round. You landed with you bum perched on the edge of the mahogany desk, Tom now stood up- his legs in-between your parted thighs - your feet hooking round the back of knees. 

“It’s all down to my incredibly talented teacher.”

“No…. No I really don’t think it is” You mused with a soft voice, fingers instinctively going to the nape of his neck - twirling the little curls round your fingertips. 

“Well even so… I think I could teach you a thing or two too.” Never one to mull on anything, Tom’s tone had immediately switched to something a lot more… mischievous. 

“Not even going to ask about my day? Wheres the chat mr smooth?” He had to repress the grin at your smirk because as much as you infuriated the hell out of him - you also had this weird ability of making him feel so entranced and helpless. He relented with a sarcastic chime.

“Fine, how was your day love.”

“Good…. but I have a feeling you’re about to make it a whole lot better.”

That was all the signals he needed to lean forward, in doing so forcing you back until your back landed completely on the cool wood. His lips feathered yours, both hands pinned either side of your head.

“Oh darling… you have no idea.”

#tom holland #tomholland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #fluff #Tom Holland angst

[shihalyfie]

Comparing the original Best Partner character song series and the new one, and what that says about the 02 cast

So if you haven’t heard yet, a new series of 02 (it’s actually Kizuna) character songs dropped! Allegedly intended as a slightly delayed 20th anniversary project, the series is a callback to the original “Best Partner” character song album series that released during 02′s actual airing.

If you know anything about the original Best Partner series, it’s one that sets an insanely high bar, even for Digimon standards (and that’s saying something, given the deep associations this franchise has with music). The series of character songs before it, Adventure’s “Character Song + Mini Drama” series, has a…kind of questionable amount of relevance to each character; it’s not like they’re super amazingly out of character, but they don’t really tell you a lot about each character beyond some gloss details (this is probably best demonstrated in how Mimi’s song is blatantly just an AiM single disguised as a Mimi song). Best Partner, on the other hand, very intimately goes into each character’s head and their relationships with their respective partners, even putting in direct words what wasn’t stated explicitly in the series.

So does the new series live up to the high bar its predecessor sets? Answer: on top of some abnormal attention to detail on the covers, it is very obvious that the new series not only has a lot of the depth of the 02 characters in mind, but also is made in direct response to the original series itself. Moreover, putting the original Best Partner series and this one side by side reveals a lot about each of the 02 characters and what they got out of 02′s story, in a surprisingly neat summary.

Let’s go into how!

Since this is something that has a deep relationship with all of these characters in regards to the series, this particular meta would not have been possible without input from multiple people who know these characters better than I could ever hope to by myself. Thank you for all of your help.

A bit of historical context

The original Best Partner series consisted of a set of albums, one representing each pair of partners in 02. Notably, even though nowadays there’s a specific order of the Adventure/02 characters that’s used in modern media, not only does the original series not follow that ordering (as it hadn’t been set in stone at the time), it also leads with the original Adventure characters and not the 02 ones, which is pretty unusual for a series that’s ostensibly supposed to be for 02 (modern lineups will usually favor leading with whichever group the relevant product is branded with).

A lot of this probably makes more sense when you realize that the original Best Partner series was released during the first half of 02’s airing. The final album was released on August 23, 2000, four days before the fateful 02 episode 21 (yes, that means the third track on Ken and Wormmon’s album is actually a spoiler). So in other words, while the original Best Partner series accurately reflects the older Adventure group’s character development and what problems they were able to sufficiently overcome, the 02 group does not have anything about their character development from 02′s second half reflected in it at all.

That’s actually a really huge disparity, when you think about it, especially because a lot happened with the 02 group in that second half – that second half was where the emotional payoff and the results of everything that had been building up over that first half came together. So in comparison to the Adventure group, composed of people confidently talking about what they’ve decided for themselves from now on, you still have the 02 group drenched pretty deeply in insecurity. Watch 02 to the end and listen to those songs again, and you might even think “wait, this is supposed to represent these characters?” So, in essence, the new Best Partner series serves to address that gap, and what the 02 group gained and learned out of 02′s second half.

Best Partner (and its successor series for Tamers, Best Tamers) follows a uniform format: a solo song for the human partner, a solo song for the Digimon partner, and a duet between the two. (Given that, the original Best Partner series was really huge, at a whole 36 songs.) Recalling that, in the Adventure universe, a Digimon partner reflects the human’s inner self and psyche, it’s pretty extensive coverage: what the human has to say about themself, what place their Digimon partner is in relative to that, and what the nature of their relationship is due to that.

Let’s go into each pair of partners in detail!

Daisuke and V-mon

For those who love 02 and love Daisuke in particular, when you ask “what kind of character is Daisuke like?” or “what’s Daisuke’s best quality?”, you’re probably going to get answers like “forward-thinking” or “positive” or “good at uplifting others” – basically everything to do with how Daisuke is an encouraging presence who doesn’t give in easily and has a strong mentality of moving forward in the face of despair. Someone who appreciates and understands others’ best qualities, and loves them for everything they are. So when you look at his original Best Partner solo song, Goggle Boy…

But more than just saving the world I really don’t want to lose, you know

…Uh…

These goggles are my proof Given by a certain someone to me The precious thing he handed over It’s just like his Crest, you know Aren’t they cool?

…Well, that’s nowhere to be found.

This is the kind of song that might make you think “wait, this is supposed to be Daisuke’s representative song?!” (It’s possibly because of this that Daisuke’s song from The Bridge to Dreams, Tomorrow, generally tended to be far more favored among Daisuke fans, although it’s more relevant to 02 as a whole than it is to Daisuke in particular.) if you listen to Goggle Boy knowing about what Daisuke’s best qualities should be, this is almost a little frustrating, because this is the kind of thing he really shouldn’t be pigeonholed as – basically, begging for others’ approval and praise and focusing on idolizing others. Even his most insightful moments in this song come from his appreciation of something that came from someone else (Taichi), not from himself.

Well, the thing is, that was Daisuke’s character for most of the first half of 02. Of course, even in early episodes, there were many times where Daisuke’s potential for positivity and forward-thinkingness were starting to poke through, but most of the time he was rolling over trying to please others and chasing after his seniors. The real period of time he started to grow into his own about this was 02 episode 24 and its aftermath – when his time spent with his friends started to fill the void in his life and his need for validation, and the escalating situation, especially with Ken, led him to have a proper grasp of what was properly important and what needed to be done.

So when we get to his new solo, RUNNING MAN…

I’ll keep on running far ahead Let’s bring everyone along with me, today, too Really, always, thank you, Thank you so much Riding the wind, going past the sky Grasping your hands and flying I’m even starting to see beyond my dreams

Even in only one section, you can get an instant image of the Motomiya Daisuke we all know and love – someone who appreciates his friends’ role in his life, loves their company, and moves positively towards the future. Because, again, after the events of 02, and after being able to bond further with his friends and gaining his own strengths in leading everyone forward, he became able to more properly express his love for everything instead of constantly vying for others’ attention. Even the title reflects the change, from a “boy” who’s flashing the symbol of courage he got from someone else, to a “man” who’s positively running forward on his own merits.

(Interestingly, RUNNING MAN is composed by Ohta Michihiko, a legendary composer who’s made many of some of the most important songs in the franchise, and also composed many of the original Best Partner songs, including Goggle Boy. It’s interesting how RUNNING MAN is the one most like the original songs in atmosphere as a result – possibly representing how Daisuke is a simple-minded person who ostensibly doesn’t change drastically in disposition – yet has lyrical content that’s so starkly different.)

As a result, this is subtly reflected in the other two songs in each album as well – remember that V-mon is one of the partners who most “matches” his own partner in terms of disposition and mentality. So as Daisuke shifted his own priorities, V-mon did too; we go from Go Ahead! being about taking a stand and fighting, whereas Beyond the Future is about a similar forward-thinking mentality to Daisuke’s.

Likewise, the duets have different priorities as well; 2-TOP was composed of Daisuke and V-mon bickering for the most of it, and the most substantial point you could get about it was that despite their bickering, they made it work, whereas HEY-rasshai! has them almost entirely in sync (with one minor moment of deviance). It’s also interesting to see the topics covered in each; 2-TOP is about soccer, which ultimately is revealed to be a fairly incidental hobby for Daisuke, whereas HEY-rasshai! is about ramen making, which, while comical, also has a very strong tie to “Daisuke’s dream for the future, and his willingness to single-mindedly dedicate himself to something when it’s something he truly wants”. In other words, while Daisuke knew what he wanted since elementary school, it says a lot that he’s at a point where he and V-mon are now taking proactive steps to have that dream achieved, now that they’re able.

Ken and Wormmon

Like with his position in 02 itself, Ken’s is probably the easiest to see the contrast without trying too hard, but there’s still quite a lot to unpack!

When you think about it, in the modern era, it’s actually surprisingly hard to find stuff too relevant to Ken’s time as the Kaiser. The reason is, simply, that the series itself discourages this – Ken himself had an obvious aversion to dwelling too much on it, and the entire series itself has a strong theme of “moving on”. It’s not to say that the Kaiser doesn’t have a fanbase (I’m sorry if you’re reading this and find that I might be implying too hard that you don’t exist), but rather that there’s a franchise and fanart tendency to focus more on “Ken-chan” than “the Kaiser” these days, and old merch from the first half of the series will all too often get responses of “it’s really sad Ken-chan can’t be there…” Of course, 02 itself was also about accepting one’s mistakes, not pretending they never happened, so it’d be foolhardy to deny Ken’s dark history entirely, but it’s retroactively interesting to see such a prominent and persistent piece of merch like Ken and Wormmon’s original Best Partner album focus so largely on Ken’s time as the Kaiser when most of the franchise ended up trying to move on.

Starting with Ken’s solo songs, and his first one, ONLY ONE:

I’ve lived without showing my true feelings, wearing this mask

Well, this was easy to tell from the series itself, but the point driven home is that Ken didn’t want to expose his true self to others, putting on a front of “strength” and smashing his true feelings into the corner so that he could become more of the “perfect” person he thought he was supposed to be. There’s also another interesting line that one should pay attention to:

I polished the knife in my heart and put my belief in infinite power

Basically, putting up a defensive front to prevent anything from approaching his weaknesses.

Anyway, moving onto his new song, Never Ending:

If I want to be proud of tomorrow’s version of myself I wonder, what can I do? Never Give-up I’ll keep fighting, even doing someone else’s part No, I won’t be afraid anymore

First of all, the main theme of the song is about putting conscious thought into understanding how to stay true to himself – basically, understanding what it is he really wants to do and become, instead of putting on fronts and hiding it from others. Not only that, we see traces of what exactly he gained over the course of the second half of 02 – because so much of it involved constantly trying to blame himself for everything, this song is about what he came to learn in terms of proactively making it up and actively fighting forward. He’s working hard!

We also have this part:

The knife that’s pointed at someone, or at myself If it’s been let go of

Two things going on here: firstly, we have an explicit reference to the metaphorical “knife” Ken referred to putting up in ONLY ONE, talking about finally letting it go instead of bothering with this kind of front. He also points out that, in a sense, the knife was pointed at himself too, either in the sense of actually having hurt himself through this entire ideal, or in the sense that he constantly was trying to blame and punish himself for everything. None of that should be necessary anymore. Moreover, Never Ending contains a lot of references to “daily life” and the happiness that comes with the simplicity of just being alive – because that was indeed what Ken gained through his experiences, the ability to treasure living life in itself instead of aspiring to an impossible standard.

Another interesting thing about Never Ending is that it’s technically in a similar rock genre to ONLY ONE instead of being “soft”, like Ken’s personality is often thought to be. This was a surprise to a lot of people who commented on how surprisingly “cool” the song was, but this is actually completely in line with Ken arguably being one of the most openly assertive people in this group even after his reformation. Note that it’s very difficult to call this song purely angsty – it’s definitely positive and forward-thinking, and the chorus itself is partially in major key – but it has the vibe of someone who’s fully aware of everything that’s happened, is putting proper thought into it, and is pushing on despite everything. Remember, the intensity the Kaiser had originally came from somewhere; Ichijouji Ken is the same person, in the end.

In regards to Wormmon’s song, the contrast is also obvious: The Future You Dreamed of, the Future I Dreamed Of. is of course about Wormmon’s tormented feelings during the Kaiser’s abusive relationship with him, whereas can change it! is about its aftermath and how they made up (including copious references to the events of 02 episode 23). Even then, there’s a certain “forward-thinking” attitude that marks this song as being representative of being after 02’s events and not during – see the line “The mistake we made that day/is exactly the reason we’ll never let it happen again”, instead of the self-punishment and shame Stingmon expressed in 02 episode 26).

On top of that, the duet song Forever Adolescence also marks a subtle progression from the point they were at from True Strength – remembering that Best Partner 12 was released at a time when True Strength was actually a bit of a spoiler, while Ken and Wormmon obviously had made up by that point, the key line in it is still “everything truly begins from here”. So what, exactly, happened after that? According to Forever Adolescence, the decision made was to keep moving forward, and, moreover, to stay “the way they are”, especially with the nuance that it means it’s okay to not force oneself into the role of an adult and stay “young at heart”. This is really, really important in light of the events of Kizuna, the 02 group’s unusual role in it and its relevance to 02′s themes (more on this below), and how Spring 2003 referred to the pressure placed on Osamu as him being “forced to grow up too quickly” – in essence, Ken and Wormmon have firmly resolved to actively move away from that kind of pressure.

Miyako and Hawkmon

I’ve pointed out several times on this blog that the actual complex Miyako was going through in 02 was that she hated herself more than anyone else in the group would be willing to criticize her – and if you don’t believe me, it’s put in a pretty heavy-handed manner in her original song, Crash and Bingo!:

Fussing about it won’t get anything done But my selfishness and problems and panic keep coming out

…and even more viciously in her own and Hawkmon’s duet, Fly High:

I can’t do anything right, besides playing around with computers

or

Everyone would be still be fine if I weren’t there

If you thought it was subtle in the main series, it certainly isn’t here: Miyako considered herself good for absolutely nothing and unable to be accepted by others for being too useless – in these songs, despite Hawkmon’s attempts to uplift her, she criticizes her own messy tendencies and considers herself a burden. Best Partner is a positive series, so it still has the attitude of “we’ll try anyway”, but it’s clear that Miyako really didn’t have the highest opinion of herself at all. Hence, Fly High also shows off the worst of Hawkmon having to deal with the fallout – with Miyako flailing around in panic and considering herself good for nothing, he’s forced to carry her around.

But come Miyako’s new solo, From Spain with Love!, we see a huge contrast all over the place:

I, who have evolved into an adult make everyone do a double-take at me when I walk by!

Exhibit A: actual confidence in herself and ability to consider herself worth something;

If I can always, always be honest with myself Even if I don’t put together some program, even if I keep screwing up Ah, you understand me

Exhibit B: understanding that she’s worth something to others besides her utility abilities, and knowing that she has friends who’ll support her despite her flaws (which is very true);

When things are feeling hard, the first thing you should do is call me, okay? I’ll take the wings of love and purity, spread them, and get there as fast as I can Ah, I’ll open up any gate I need to

Exhibit C: indulging in her capacity for helping and supporting others;

Al mal tiempo, buena cara We laugh exactly when things are hard

Exhibit D: understanding the strength to get through hard times, instead of emotionally crumbling under the pressure.

Yep, that’s exactly what her character arc in 02 was about; 02 episode 31 was a huge turning point for her because, in the depths of her berating herself for her messiness and expecting Hikari to be secretly judging her the whole time, Hikari revealed that she was outright jealous of Miyako being able to speak her mind, and Miyako shortly after ended up showing her true capacity for reaching others who needed her help and supporting them, a role she ended up growing into for the rest of the series. Note that, other than the casual remark of confidence at the beginning, Miyako hasn’t necessarily become arrogant or anything – it’s just that, by focusing her energies into how much she loves everyone and turning her “nosiness” and “sticking herself into others’ business” tendencies into positive energy to help everyone, she gained more confidence in her ability to be loved and accepted by others.

This is reflected as well in her new duet with Hawkmon, where, instead of Hawkmon dragging her around everywhere, their differences and mismatched personalities are outright celebrated, and while Miyako still has awareness of her messy tendencies, she’s no longer letting it emotionally rip her apart and has confidence that Hawkmon can be by her side to help her through it. Perhaps reflecting that, Hawkmon himself goes from the over-the-top, dramatic, high-strung Knight of Love to the more calm and straightforward Gentle Tornado, perhaps because his own partner isn’t constantly bouncing off the walls recklessly nearly as much anymore.

Incidentally, it’s not like all of this is without nuance, either; even if Miyako’s become more of a confident person, she’s not all put-together. Considering that the entire song has her gushing about how she’d be willing to drop anything to go see her friends (which was pushed forward in Kizuna itself, what with her willingly taking the same request she’d refused to do earlier just because her friends were involved, and even inventing D-3 gate exploitation just to go see them), when you get to the end, and her gushing about her fun in Spain suddenly derails into reminiscing about the events of 02 episode 42, the implication is clear: for as much as she wants to be wholeheartedly enjoying this fun trip abroad for what it is, she can’t help but let her thoughts float back to memories and friends she cares about, and her bonus conversation with Hawkmon drives it in further that, ultimately, she dearly misses them too much.

Iori and Armadimon

Iori also went through some drastic changes in character over the course of 02, so when you look at My Conclusion, it’s basically Iori at his “worst” point of black-and-white morality:

Everyone, I will be speaking my conclusion Evil will not be tolerated Even evil in itself will be defeated by justice That will always be a certainty in the end

I mean, let’s even consider the fact that the song is called “My Conclusion” in the first place. Iori’s slamming this all down like this is the end-all of everything, and you can’t change his mind! He does briefly admit that there are certain things reason itself won’t change, but it’s more like he’s on the verge of having an out, because in the end, really…

Everyone, I will be speaking my conclusion Our enemies are beyond reason Again and again, to the very end They will certainly use cowardly means to come and attack us

Rationality. No feelings involved. Evil is evil, and justice is justice. No takebacks. Life exists by rules, and nothing else.

Message to the Future is possibly one of the most interesting songs in the original Best Partner collection, because it does actually provide hints about where Iori should be going in the future, and also has a lot of things that retroactively hit a lot harder from the meta perspective. The song fully fleshes out Iori’s feelings and concerns about how to grow up into a proper adult (which was hinted to be his real motivation as to why he was so strict with himself in 02), and that, most of all, what he wants is for his “feelings” to never change no matter what happens. Iori expresses concerns about how he might change as an adult to Armadimon, and Armadimon assures him that he’ll still be “Iori”, no matter what.

So, come the new character song collection, Iori’s new solo song is aptly titled “Things That Won’t Change” – because, in the end, despite everything that changed, his feelings did not. He says it himself: the important parts that he really wanted, the desire to do the right thing and to protect others, never changed a bit at all since “back then”. What did change, however, was his way of going about it.

Rather than what someone else has decided I’ve chosen my own future now

and again:

Rather than imitating someone else This is to shout out my own future

The emphasis on this being Iori’s own choice is important because Iori has finally decided not to live by strict rules imposed on him nor by imitating others (remember, part of the reason he kept doing what he did back in 02 was because he had such a strong belief “my father would have done this”). Others had been encouraging him to “make his own decisions” from the get-go – even Hida Chikara himself had told him that he was the one who needed to decide what to do in any moment in 02 episode 5 – and after dealing with a violation of his own morals in having to kill a Digimon in 02 episode 44, one episode later, in discussing with Takeru, Iori has to come to terms with the decision to continue fighting because “this is what I have decided myself”, because it’s not about whether he has an obligation to keep fighting for the sake of justice, but because he, himself, wants to protect others, and will do what it takes to do so. There’s no more of these strict rules of “because it must be this way” or the black-and-white morality that caused him to be so initially hostile towards Ken and Oikawa, but an understanding that these things need to be decided from the heart.

Moreover, unlike My Conclusion, Things That Won’t Change isn’t written like Iori’s turning in some school essay, but rather, more than half the song is in casual-form Japanese (which was associated with Iori when he became more emotional and wasn’t keeping himself in check anymore), and is more of a thoughtful reflection of his own feelings rather than trying to pass itself off as following rules because he must.

Thus, while the duet Choo Choo Tryin’ isn’t as heavy-handed as Message to the Future, Iori and Armadimon acknowledge that they need to be forward-thinking and keep going (generally tied to the message of 02 in itself), and Iori outright discusses the potential pitfalls of becoming too stiff. Furthermore, the song has copious rap portions, which seems rather unfitting for Iori on its face – until you realize that not only was Iori sometimes willing to indulge in more fun even back during 02 (just because he was strict with himself didn’t mean he was a complete killjoy), Iori’s also just a lot more flexible-minded in general, and has a penchant for wanting to do things right when he’s given a task. (His delivery of the rap in the song isn’t monotonous nor overly emotional, but has the nuance of someone who’s trying to recite all of it with caution.)

The part that’s particularly striking from the meta perspective is that Iori and Armadimon are no longer voiced by the same voice actress; Message to the Future was essentially Urawa Megumi talking to herself. So now, Iori has a new voice actor, and in many ways has become very different from Armadimon – but because Armadimon sounds a little like Iori, you could say he’s helping preserve the childish side of Iori that’s more important than ever to hold onto, especially since Iori himself worried about changing too much. And so, Iori’s still willing to indulge in a sort of “fun” song like this, and in the end, despite everything, you understand that they haven’t drifted apart at all in the slightest.

That’s not to say that Armadimon himself hasn’t changed either – in fact, he’s changed himself in response to how much Iori has. His original solo song had a lot of easygoingness to it, and some constant reminders for Iori to please, please chill – but his new one has a much stronger sense of resolve and forward-thinking attitude, reflecting that, while Iori himself technically had to learn to embrace more emotional uncertainty through the events of 02, it was also able to give him much stronger resolve that this was something he was doing because he was emotionally prepared for it, not out of some sense of moral obligation.

Takeru and Patamon

I’ve already covered Takeru’s original Best Partner song Focus and how it’s probably not about shipping as much as the fanbase tends to pin it as, but in any case, the operative part is here:

Before I knew it, I was watching over you Still standing at a skewed angle from behind The focus of your heart I wonder, is it on me, or… No, I can’t ask

Takeru couldn’t bring himself to ask sensitive questions or be straightforward about his emotions – which is basically what was Takeru’s lingering problem over Adventure and 02, that he kept swerving around or even lying about sensitive topics and holding everything inside, until one of his triggers was hit and everything exploded. Therefore, even when an important question about someone else comes up, he “can’t ask”. Moreover, for all Takeru is known as a lighthearted and kind person, Focus is a really turbulent song with a really harsh arrangement, and it’s a pretty accurate view of all the complicated and sometimes even negative emotions that Takeru was (badly) coping with over the course of 02.

This was the whole issue with Takeru and Iori’s Jogress arc in 02 episodes 34-36 – that Iori felt he couldn’t understand nor communicate well with Takeru, and had to eventually take matters into his own hands in order to properly understand his feelings. Takeru’s further interactions with Iori were significantly more straightforward for the rest of the series, and the experience also led to Takeru being able to more openly communicate with Ken as well, since the two had been on awkward speaking terms for most of the third quarter of the series.

So when we get to Step High Step…

You lament, you don’t have confidence in yourself I’m saying this to you as I’ve been watching you You’re amazing at all times

The song features Takeru being fairly straightforward about his feelings and opinions instead of just dodging it and going for an “everything’s okay” keeping-the-peace attitude, and not only that, he’s commenting on someone else, something that he probably would have refrained from in 02 for being intrusive. Of course, Takeru was always a nice person, but he wasn’t exactly straightforward about being nice back then – and yet here we are.

Since Focus is probably about his relationship with Patamon and how he kind of wasn’t exactly straightforward about his worries with him either (see 02 episode 34), it’s also interesting to compare Takeru and Patamon’s duet songs as well. Steppin’ out does portray a progression from Adventure in that they’ve accepted they can “do things over” again after things crash down (presumably referring to Angemon’s death and rebirth), but you’ll notice there isn’t much in the way of actual communciation between the two – something that’s not only present in Le Lien, but also portrays them as outright in-sync to the point of “telepathy”. We’re talking about a pair where the fanbase has historically had doubts about how similar they were back in 02 because of how “mismatched” they seemed!

Which, incidentally, they weren’t actually – you can see Patamon pretending he’s not about to cry in his original Best Partner song Don’t Stop Pata-Pata, much like how Takeru would cover up his own emotions, and gritting his teeth and resolving to fight harder. Meanwhile, while Ring of Smiles ostensibly continues to have Patamon be “sweet and cute”, it contains a lot of important nuances of “appreciating daily life with friends”, even if Patamon himself can’t quite find words for it – in other words, it’s actually some rather insightful and thoughtful sentiments from Patamon about the importance of being with and connecting with others, mirroring what Takeru himself learned in connecting with the others around him, especially Iori.

Hikari and Tailmon

Remember, Hikari has two lines (one in Adventure and one in 02) that basically summarize the main “issue” she was dealing with in both series: she was selfless to unhealthy levels, and would prioritize others’ welfare over herself to the point of self-destruction. So in her original solo Best Partner song, Gentle Rain, she puts it pretty explicitly:

I want to always be wearing nothing but smiles But I can’t be cheerful all of the time

or:

So that I can become a greater version of myself Please give me strength

All things considered, Gentle Rain is full of Hikari’s own insecurities, and her belief that she doesn’t have enough strength to do anything for herself. She makes references to being pulled to the Dark Ocean, mainly because – as she says – she doesn’t want to go there, but she doesn’t have enough strength or willpower to resist it. In fact, Best Partner 11 is full of a lot of angst; Gentle Rain is Hikari angsting about her own weakness and inability to do much for herself, Getting up is Tailmon angsting about her painful past and everything to do with it, and Shining Star is basically a plea for both of them to be able to do anything despite all the pain. It’s all pretty severely heavy content, despite the initial sparkly-looking sentiment of it all.

Considering the circumstances, it’s not really all that surprising. Hikari spent her time in Adventure and the first half of 02 very “emotionally isolated” from the others, to the point very few people could understand what she was thinking, and while she’d never hesitate to put herself out for other people, anything to do with herself, like getting pulled to the Dark Ocean, would result in resignation “it’s over” and “I can’t do anything about it”. Tailmon came from the background of being effectively raised by the abusive Vamdemon, so 02 was really only part of the earliest portion of her moving on with her life and being able to spend happier moments with Hikari. But, of course, the real turning point was 02 episode 31, when Miyako finally managed to break through to her and convince her to not accept the inevitability of things happening to herself, to accept help with the support of others, and to not take things happening to her as a sign she’s doomed.

So when we reach Hikari’s new solo song, Tomorrow’s Blue…

I want to chase after my dreams and hopes, it’s fine even if they’re incomplete I won’t lose, I won’t stop, I’ll do this to stay true to myself

The most striking thing about the song is that it features Hikari assertively talking about her own desires and feelings, when back in 02 she basically tried to kick them out of the picture for the sake of everyone else (and, really, even in Tailmon’s new solo song, Tender tale, she outright calls Hikari out for still prioritizing other people over herself). It’s not demeaning herself, it’s not resigning herself to anything, it may have a slight admission that she’s not super-confident about everything yet, but it’s still her looking forward and choosing to pursue what he wants. It’s a big deal!

And instead of the constant angst that permeated Best Partner 11, the new album is about Hikari and Tailmon talking about their feelings towards each other – something that neither of them really verbalized that well over either Adventure and 02 – and contextualizing their importance to each other over the course of their “story”. Hikari talks about Tailmon’s role of assertiveness in helping her break out of her shell, and Tailmon generally provides an extremely accurate description of Hikari in a nutshell – that she’s a bit mysterious, that she’s emotionally sensitive, that she’s cheerful and lifts others’ spirits. What’s more, Tailmon makes a reference to the same kind of “pain” and “losing things” she referred to in Getting up, but instead of angsting about it, she positively accepts it as something that may happen in the process of protecting others. (Oh, and it and the new duet A Tale of the Light also make reference to Hikari’s photography hobby in 02, contextualizing it as something Hikari did to chronicle their precious memories.)

So in summary, Hikari and Tailmon have both been able to accept 02′s philosophy of becoming forward-thinking, positive, and accepting the help of others in order to move forward. Not bad!

Conclusion and digression

Despite how these songs are almost polar opposite in portraying their before-and-after development of the 02 kids, nobody’s really argued that any of them are out of character! In the end, it’s a pretty succinct depiction of what these kids were dealing with and what they grew into by the end of the series. Seriously, I never, ever want to hear that these kids were underdeveloped nor that they didn’t go through any significant development over the course of 02 ever again. That’s just not true at all, and this simply happens to be one of the many illustrations of how.

Moreover, the songs themselves and the “conversations” that came with the new albums solidify firmly that the 02 group has extremely tight relations with their partners even at this time – with Daisuke actively consulting V-mon for help, Miyako, Takeru, and Hikari actively dragging their partners everywhere with them, Ken having Wormmon be his effective alarm clock, and Iori being so close with Armadimon that his Nagoya dialect is rubbing off on him. Daisuke, Miyako and Hikari have a huge point made that, regardless of the rather easygoing way they’re going at it, they’re very aware of what they want to do from this point out and are following it with gusto (and while it’s not stated in words, Iori carrying a huge textbook, presumably a law one, with note markers all over it drives the point home that this applies to him, too). It’s a really, really huge contrast to what was going on with the directionless Taichi, Yamato, and Sora effectively neglecting their own partners back in Kizuna – and further reinforces the reason the 02 group was in such an unusually favorable position during the movie.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #shihameta

[mobagehelllocal]

“lucky ending” extra notes i & iii

Hi, I said I would do it but then I released ver i so long ago that I felt I shouldn't do this unless I had another version out at least so yay! finally! ... I'll add ver ii here when I get around to writing it... *shifty eyes* So as usual, this is just my thought process and ideas while writing lol.

*please do not read if you haven’t read “lucky ending” ver i (dorm leaders) & ver iii (rook & lilia).

It was inspired by an anon ask and the button tradition from Japanese schools.

The anon ask went like this: First at all, I like do much your writing and I hope you are doing well. Second, I was wondering what would happen if the MC (Fem!s/o I guess) decided to not go back to her world, like she decide stay with her villain? Can you do make headcanons of this for the dorm leaders? Thank you very much. – from Anonymous

The button tradition, as narrated by the first years, is done when one person confesses and the other responds by giving them the button closest to their heart. In most Japanese uniforms it’s the second uniform, but in Twisted Wonderland--I looked at the ceremonial robes and the closest button should be the fifth. Maybe. I could be wrong. 

The songs I listened to while writing this! 

The original dorm leaders (and Rook) was written while listening to “Lucky Ending”, the ending theme of Fruits Basket. The English lyrics (translated by otenkiame!) are: 

“Change is important. I want to do it well,/ but I wanna cry. It's still bad. I wanna cry” 

“The word "goodbye" has disappeared completely from this world/ All that remains is me fooling around next to you/A day you don't laugh won't come anymore”

“I've understood it since being here/ These feelings of wanting to protect you aren't a misunderstanding/ If we can call what connects us bonds,/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Even if in a different world, it'll never be different/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Don't change, ever/ Stay here, stay here”

I think it’s obvious why I chose to use this as the title of the series. It’s a story about change but it’s also a story about the things you don’t want to change... And I think it’s not wrong to want to hold onto things. 

I also listened to the same playlist that I listened to while writing “wendy?” “hello peter pan”:

“Can’t help falling in love” cover by Annapantsu, “If you’re not the one” by David Beddingfield, “Who Knew” by P!nk and “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift. 

For Lilia in particular, I was listening to three Beauty and the Beast songs on loop. “Evermore” by Josh Groban, “Days in the Sun” by the live action cast and, of course--”How does a moment last forever” by Celine Dion.

“How does a moment last forever?/ How can a story never die?/ It is love we must hold onto/ Never easy, but we try/ Sometimes our happiness is captured/ Somehow, our time and place stand still/ Love lives on inside our hearts and always will”

Also for Lilia, Tolerate It by Taylor Swift.

“You're so much older and wiser and I/ I wait by the door like I'm just a kid”

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life”

Malleus was definitely the first piece finished. Closely followed by Vil’s. I believe there was a gap inbetween them before I did the others? I wrote bits and pieces of Leona, Idia, Kalim and Azul’s. I think I finished Leona, Idia, Kalim then Riddle because I distinctly remember saving Azul for last. 

One of the most important things for me, is that each story stands distinct of each other. So I gave myself a really hard time trying to figure out how each one uniquely belonged to each of the characters.

For the Prologue... I think because it’s set at the graduation of certain characters, I used that to my advantage and implied the stronger bonds between the Yuu!Reader and the entirety of the cast. Because a lot of time has passed and I feel like--regardless of what other people believe, bonds will be made and relationships will have strengthened enough for it to happen. 

Riddle is honestly another really difficult character for me to write. I generally do love him and I enjoy his story, but something about him is difficult and I’m not sure why. 

I think a part of me is also really miffed because from Heartslabyul-Savanaclaw, you could feel that Riddle really cared for Yuu on some level but then he just straight up disappears come Octavinelle chapter. I feel like there was potential to develop their relationship even more. 

He WENT UP AND TIED YOUR RIBBON I REMEMBER I WENT DOKI DOKI OVER THAT. 

I feel like because I’ve established that it’s a Yuu!Reader, it’s impossible for this story to not include both Ace and Deuce. So of course they featured in really big roles for this one, being responsible for telling Riddle the story.

I have to thank my friend, Mes, for bouncing ideas with me. They were the one who suggested what I could do with Riddle’s story by having ADeuce play such a big part!

I also tried my hardest to include Trey and Cater, and I’m pretty happy with their cameo. In a way, they definitely helped Riddle figure out his own feelings for you. 

My favourite lines are: “I think you earned that much. I don’t believe anyone’s ever been in your situation before so—there’s no right or wrong about what you’re doing. It’s all about what you want to do.”

I wish someone would tell this to Yuu in general though. They’re the only one who has ever been in their situation (to our knowledge at least) and like... they’re definitely allowed to be even more selfish. 

Leona is someone who I used to dislike a lot. I never hid that. It’s primarily because of how disappointed I am in the story of Savanaclaw probably. But like, I was always concerned about writing him properly because I thought that it was only right that I did right by him, because there would be people reading these stories who loved him. And I felt like I had to do right by that love. 

I think... it’s wrong to believe that characters... villains... cannot fall in love or “won’t fall in love.” I think it’s wrong also to think that “people don’t change for love.” 

In fact, people do change. You definitely shouldn’t change yourself to be loved, but... people change all the time to be their “better” selves. So whose to say that a good person, who you love, will not make you want to improve yourself? Isn’t that what we want when we meet people? To fall in love with someone who will ultimately make you better and never worse. 

Or so that’s how I try to write the Twisted characters when they fall in love... With an understanding that “morally” the person they are falling for is “kind” and “good” and how a part of them might just want to be better just for that person. (Especially Leona and Azul). They don’t necessarily have to be nice to everyone, but if they can be better for one person... We stan healthy character growth.  

But yeah, Leona is driven by understanding that he’s a very selfish person. But that he’s also very unfortunate and he doesn’t want tie you with someone who, he thinks, is actually worthless. He probably, deeply, thinks you deserve more.

Though his selfishness eventually wins out and well... Won’t you forgive him for it? :) For tying you down to this worthless second prince? 

I think his own self-awareness does make him try harder. Not for everyone or everything... but for you. Just for you. I think that would be Leona’s love language--spending time with you, trying for you.

He’d appreciate if you didn’t call him out on it though, that would be very embarrassing. 

Looking back, I’m surprised that it was the only version where none of the other boys from his dorm showed up lol. Which means Ruggie is the sole character who has yet to appear in the “lucky ending” series, huh.

My favourite lines from his story that still leaves me breathless and patting my past self in the back: ““I’m home—” you said—even if a part of you felt that home should have been two green eyes, a cocky smirk, and a warm patch of sunlight on the grassy ground.”

Like honestly, what was I on? Who was she?

Azul is, like Leona, someone who is so keenly aware of the things he’s lacking. In fact, he’s someone who thinks he’s lacking when he’s probably perfect in some aspects. He might act proud but a part of him--I think--thinks its not enough. It’s never enough. He can certainly do better still.

In that light, it’s why he thinks he’s undeserving of a partner. Especially one who is “kind” and “understanding.” While ultimately, Azul deserves people in his life who are that and “accepting” of him--I think he still thinks he doesn’t. 

And thats why he lets go of the Yuu!Reader. It’s why he doesn’t “chase” after her like Leona did.

It’s because he’s selfish, because he wants her--that he forces himself to let go. 

Azul needs someone who’ll tell him that he is worth something and that he’s definitely worth the effort. So please praise him a lot until he’s crying in happiness. I’m sure it’s the one thing he’s always wanted to hear from people around him.

Also my Poly!Octavinelle Agenda has never died and I am pleased Past!Ai got away with so much Poly!Octa hints in this story lol. But honestly, regardless of wht Octavinelle says... god, you can tell they genuinely care about each other.

I recently rewatched Octavinelle’s chapter and... by god, the amount of things I missed out on first watch. Jade’s concern when he realized Azul wanted to get rid of that photo... The fact Floyd was so willing to drop the fight to return to Azul too... Anyways, Poly!Octa Agenda for life.

Favourite lines: “Azul’s pathetic whimpers turned into guttural sobs. His fingers spread to cover his eyes—and his glasses slid off his face, down to his lap and then to the ground—at his actions. His whole body shook as he cried his heart out.”

It’s not as poetic as a lot of my other favourites, but for some reason these lines always get me when I reread them. There’s something so visceral about it. 

Azul’s piece is probably the least visually stimulating out of all these stories? His was so emotionally driven compared to the others and I worried a lot about that.

I think I remember I was crying so badly as I was writing this. 

Kalim is really hard for me because I feel like I struggle a lot with finding conflict in his character? He’s such a genuinely nice person, I find it hard to believe that the Yuu!Reader would feel alienated from him or something. So I brought in “environment” to get in the way. 

My use of celestial imagery for Kalim is because of the Scarabia trailer! I really loved how it put Kalim as the sun and Jamil as the moon. I definitely will take advantage of that when I get around to writing for Jamil.

So because I wanted to use the sun, I chose to use the idea of comets for Kalim? I think I remember something about how meteors are drawn to the gravitation pull of the sun and can “escape” it or “be destroyed” by it. Haha, hot. 

Jamil is someone who ultimately cares about Kalim too and I had fun writing his banter with the Yuu!Reader. I think I wanted to decribe the shadows licking his face reminscent to the marks from his Overblot but... I felt like doing that would give Jamil too much focus so I ultimately decided against it.

It would’ve been hot though. 

Oh yes, one thing I wanted to talk about is Kalim’s rushed proposal. I remember people talking about it in the tags, comments... even in asks at that time. The reason he does it is because he’s someone who didn’t realize his feelings until you spelled out your own. It was a sort of: “Oh. Right. That is the word I’d use to describe my feelings.” 

My favourite lines from his story is: “How does one bid goodbye to the sun?” and “No one ever willingly bids goodbye to the sun.They spend the rest of their lives trying to find the right way back to it.”

My god, who was this genius.

Vil is probably the most visually stunning out of all these stories. I feel like my stories go from super vivid imagery and setting to just complete emotional disasters lol. (Vil being the former and Azul’s being the latter... not that it’s bad, it actually suits the characters). 

Oh man, I remember thinking that Vil is such a hard character to write because we don’t know what his motivation for perfection is. All we knows is that he wants to be the best but, why? 

It’s like, for example, Idia. His motivations could be otaku-related. He doesn’t want to go to class because he’d rather go play or something. That sounds in character--but Vil was so hard because he wanted perfection.

But we already see him as such a perfect character, so what else did he need to be even more perfect? In that light, Chapter 5 did a really good job on presenting Vil’s motivations. 

But honestly, I think I can comfortably say that the Vil I’ve written so far is pretty accurate? To his character. I’m really grateful I read his chat lines because his comment about intelligence really got me thinking about his possible motivations. It made it really easy to understand that Vil wasn’t like majority of the real world’s influencers. 

One other thing that I was really happy about with his story is the use of the flower language. It’s something I hope I can use more because it’s so beautiful. 

Oh! And the roses the Yuu!Reader talks about are double delight roses. They are specifically bred to have two colors--yellow in the center and pink on the outside. I thought it fitting that the Yuu!Reader breed special roses for Vil.

They can be called... err... Vil Roses?

My favourite lines from his story is:  ““My happiness will not be dictated by others—no, Vil Schoenheit is a person who will grasp happiness with his own hands.” [...] “I’m giving you this button because I’ve already found happiness by your side.”” 

This line was actually inspired by Zelda C.W.’s MYth series. Specifically Hera’s story, Will. 

Idia ...for him, I somehow had a very hard time imagining him trying to tell the reader to stay. Like that didn’t compute for me? I felt like his version was better approached in a more comedic light somehow. 

I also felt that it would be cuter if the Yuu!Reader had already chosen to stay and Idia would need to hastily retrack his confession... Unfortunately, Yuu!Reader won’t let him. 

Honestly looking back on it, I wonder how much of Chapter 6 is going to make me scream and want to rewrite Idia’s part? 

My favourite lines from his story is: “He was never particularly good at lying—nor was he good at keeping secrets from you. You were a person he considered a dear friend—and he was always the type of person who ended up spilling everything to you. He liked being able to talk about the things he enjoyed—he liked that he had found someone who wanted to hear him out.”

A lot of my interpretation for Idia is closely linked to personal experience as an anime, manga and gaming fan. It was just a couple of years ago where people would actually be bullied for liking these things--but nowadays its become a norm. It’s... stunning actually but it makes me happy to know that maybe nobody will be judged for loving anime.

That being said, Idia’s longing to find someone he can talk to is something I really relate too--back then, it was so difficult to find someone to talk to about my interests... So I interpreted Idia as much the same. That what he enjoys about the Yuu!Reader is their ability to simply sit and listen to him talk. 

Malleus... man, recently I’ve been starting to fall in love with him all over again. He was my first oshi ever... Anyways, moving on. You think I’ve talked enough about immortal x mortal but nope, we are not done. I love this theme in general, romantic or platonic. 

I will never shut up about it you can’t make me. 

Sebek having a good enough friendship with Yuu!Reader is such a delicious concept. Like mutual respect and Sebek understanding that Yuu!Reader gives Malleus a different type of companionship that Sebek, Silver or Lilia couldn’t... 

And also, ultimately, Sebek and Yuu!Reader do love Malleus. In different ways, but I like the thought of Sebek respecting that and respecting the Yuu!Reader.

Me realizing just now that Silver joins Ruggie in the: “has never appeared in a lucky ending fic club.”... Sorry Silver, I swear soon. Once we get more content on you.

Celestial themes for Malleus are primarily, again, because he only ever seemed to meet you at night. And I thought it would be wonderful, if you were a bright spark to him. 

Favourite lines are definitely:  “Oh, bright light… I would prefer to live the rest of your life by your side… rather than spend centuries contemplating what it could have felt… to hold you in my arms.”

I am, always, going to be such a big sucker for the idea of immortals constantly remembering and loving mortals. Always holding them close in their memories, because in that way--their lovers have become immortal with them. 

I also like to imagine that he eventually figures out a way to connect your worlds together so you can still talk to your friends and family from that world. He is one of the most powerful magicians around, I’m sure its possible.

Rook was honestly the most difficult piece for me to write because he’s so hard(?) for me to understand. He’s a mess of contradictions honestly and I... guess I’m excited to see what he’ll do come Chapter 6. 

I actually rewrote his story so much. I got about 500 words with a different idea/plot in mind before deleting that completely and restarting from scratch. 

I feel like Rook is someone who talks big and talks about love without actually knowing what it truly might feel like. He’s someone who doesn’t understand it and ends up mistaking it for his fascination. 

Aside from me enjoying inserting other characters from the same dorm as much as possible, I felt that Vil was the perfect person to snap some sense into Rook.

Epel’s appearance there is basically to reflect how much I really hope the first year kids get really close to one another. 

Rook is also someone who I think, doesn’t try to explain himself too much. He’s someone who I think talks a lot, but if people don’t understand him then he doesn’t need to be understood? That’s my impression. Lol, when “lucky ending” became a character study. 

I also really loved the idea that Rook was fine with people running from him--to him that makes it all the more thrilling. But then you start running away from him and that just ends up making dread pool in his stomach. 

My favourite lines from his story: “‘When something ends, it must be sad. So, tell me then, how an ending could be so beautiful?’ [...] .‘But there was one ending that was beautiful, non?’ [...] ‘That’s right. ‘They lived happily ever after’—are those not the words that define a beautiful ending?’”

I used the dusk metaphor for Rook. My idea is that he starts seeing dusk as an ending and how he can’t fathom how any “ending” is beautiful. When a story ends, it’s not beautiful to him, humu. But when that ending is the happily ever after then... That makes all the difference. 

Lilia was actually easier than Rook’s but also fairly difficult. I had written the middle of Lilia’s piece while stumped on Rook’s actually. Lilia’s was probably easier because I love the idea of immortals and mortals.

I don’t really like the idea of mortals becoming immortals. Like, yes, it’s certainly sweet and spending eternity with a one true love is definitely the best possible ending but... I think there’s so much weight in an immortal choosing to love a mortal while knowing that they will ultimately lose them.

The biggest theme for Lilia is definitely time.

Thinking about it now... There’s been a lot of things in real life that’s just... Made me think about how we have less time than we actually think we have. And I think I ended up channeling that through Lilia... Though I feel like it is ultimately things Lilia would think about though. 

The most important imagery would probably be the stars.

I honestly wanted to avoid it because I used celestial imagery for both Kalim and Malleus but the words just flowed out in a way that I felt that I couldn’t replace. So I went with it. 

Lilia is no stranger to loneliness. One of the reasons he feels less alone is because he has family now and he doesn’t want to rob you of that. Family is so important to him because they are people who are meant to be with you--they are people who will make you less lonely--or so thats how I think? he thinks. 

My favourite lines from his story: “He would relish in the way—You made the world pause. You made a moment extend into an eternity. You made an immortal crave just a little more time.”

I’m so immensely proud of this one? I don’t really have much else to say. There’s something so raw about it that I love. Also the part where it continues on to say that  “Because there is never enough time.”

Me realizing my extra notes is just half me simping over these characters, half sharing headcanons, have actually giving good advice? perspective?, half song lyrics, half character study/analysis?

“lucky ending” is about change. Whether we want them to happen or not it’s... the human condition to change. For better or worse, we change--day by day. I think we all operate under a small panic about how everyday things are changing...

But “lucky ending” is also about the things that don’t change. Won’t change. Will never change. The things worth holding onto, the thing worth fighting for... or so I’d like to think.

#aimuses #ainotes #ai lucky series #twst #twisted wonderland #its 6 AM HEEHOOO

[loki-hargreeves]

Klaus Hargreeves x You - Morning After

Warnings: fluff, implied smut, the tiniest hint of angst if you squint, but mainly fluff, making coffee (sorry if you hate it irl) Pairing: Klaus x You (The gender of the reader is not specified) Word Count: 2,1K Summary: Waking up early with Klaus and deciding to stay in bed all day instead of doing anything else. Prompt: is that my shirt? / You mean our shirt? Author’s Note: writing fluff is hard and scary. I tried to publish this for Valentines day but I’m bad with deadlines. I hope you like it though! :)

Your POV

The first thing you noticed as you slowly came to your senses was the warmth of someone’s body pressed so close to yours. A smile spread on your sleepy face when you remembered the previous night. Klaus was still right next to you and it made your heart flutter with pure joy and love. 

It was still too early to get up, you decided without even looking at the clock. It was the weekend, and if it were up to you, you’d spend it all in his arms. Softly, you turned around on the bed, making sure to hold onto the blanket so your naked body wouldn’t get exposed to the cool air. The sheets and pillows smelled so much of him, which you didn’t mind. Klaus was someone you could get lost in anytime. He was irresistible. 

Through narrowed eyes, you looked at Klaus, who was still asleep. His long eyelashes were touching his soft cheeks and his hair was messy, yet adorable. He looked so peaceful in his sleep.

Being unable to resist yourself, you traced your fingers up and down his arm where you had touched him last night as well. Long story short, your hands had been all over each other. It had been pure bliss. There were a few faint love bites and scratches on his skin and without a doubt on yours as well. Your mind already played with the idea of kissing him all over once he’d wake up. Or perhaps you could wake him up with a few affectionate pecks? It was definitely a tempting idea.

After a while, Klaus began to wake up too. He felt the lingering gaze on his skin and slowly he opened his eyes, not wanting the rising sun to blind him. As he saw your eyes meeting his, he smiled sheepishly. 

“Staring is rude y’know,” He murmured tiredly, his voice sounding slightly deeper and raspier than it usually did. 

“I’m not staring at you,” You defended yourself with a small laugh, “I couldn’t look away. You’re kind of precious like that.”

Klaus couldn’t deny that waking up to such sweet words was nice. A little stroke on the ego here and there was good for anyone. 

“Hmm,” He blinked a few times, trying to fight the weariness, “good morning to you too.”

“Tired?” You wondered although it was obvious. The way neither of you could keep your eyes open for more than two seconds said it all. 

“Mm-hmm, we stayed up quite late,” Klaus remembered as he ran his hands over your sides, then your back as he pulled you closer to him needily. His touch was so gentle and caring that it sent shivers down your spine. 

“How about,” you paused for a moment as you played with his small curls, “-we go back to sleep?” 

“I would love that,” Klaus admitted right before a yawn escaped his lips. 

As if it was second nature, you snuggled against him like you had done many times before. The feeling of being close to him never grew old. He shut his eyes once more and it didn’t take long for him to return to his slumber, not when he was with you. Just like that, you fell asleep again in each other’s arms. You were lulled to sleep by his deep breaths and heartbeat. You were safe and sound in bed where nothing could’ve possibly disturbed you. 

         Klaus was beginning to wake up ever so slowly. He wanted to sleep for just a little longer, but the sunlight wasn’t going to let him. It crept in softly from behind the curtains that were flowing gently because the window was open. It hadn’t been open before, but he didn’t pay too much attention to it now. 

He took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes, only to see that he was all alone. It was weird because he had fallen asleep with you. How much time had passed since he last woke up? Ten minutes? Several hours? He had no clue.

Tiredly, he sat up just enough so he could look around your bedroom. It was a little bit past ten in the morning, which felt way too early to be up. When Klaus heard noises coming from the kitchen, he was relieved. 

Despite how much he was tempted to stay under the warm sheets, he forced himself out of bed. After all, he just wanted to see you and hold you just a little longer. The night before had ended far too soon. 

Klaus didn’t find his shirt anywhere on the floor. Had he left it in the living room? He wasn’t too sure when or where he had taken it off. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t like you hadn’t seen him without it before. Just like that, he waltzed into the kitchen with a small smile on his face. The moment he saw you, it grew much wider and brighter.

“Is that my shirt?” Klaus noticed his shirt which was the only thing you were wearing. The lazily buttoned button-up didn’t leave much to the imagination. The sight of you in his clothes was adorable. You still had a sleepy look on your face because you hadn’t been awake too long either.

“You mean our shirt?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“Our shirt,” Klaus repeated your words and made his way to you, “if you say so, Y/N. You look cute in it.” He snaked his arms around your body and pulled you close. He buried his head in the crook of your neck as he hugged you from behind, allowing you to continue making coffee without being too distracted. His touch was so affectionate. It made you happy.

The radio was on and music was filling up the silence. The song that was playing was Unchained Melody, which was almost too cheesy for the soft moment you were sharing. Almost. 

It reminded you of the time you and Klaus had watched the movie Ghost. It had been a lot of fun, and Klaus definitely had a lot of strong opinions about the movie and what or what not ghosts could do.

Klaus started swaying to the song and you did so too. You finished the steps it took to make coffee and now all you had to do was wait. You turned around in his arms so you could hug him back, which felt so relaxing. It felt like all the stars aligned when Klaus was by your side. Everything was so good. Despite the challenges life brought your way, you always made it at the end together. 

“I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed,” You told him after a while. 

“You should’ve been quieter,” Klaus teased you, which made you fake gasp. 

“Klaus!”

“I’m sorry, I’m just messing with you,” He pressed a kiss on your forehead. “We can still have breakfast in bed.”

“That would be nice,” You enjoyed the sound of that. Just the two of you and some coffee and toast. It was the weekend so you had nowhere to be. The two of you could spend all day in bed if that was what your hearts desired. Knowing Klaus, it wouldn’t be a challenge to come up with things to do either. He was rather creative in his own way, which you adored about him. 

Your arms wrapped around his waist and you held onto him a little together as you wished to savor the moment. Lately, things had been so hectic in your lives. A lot had happened and it felt like moments such as these were rare. His father had just passed away, but they had never been close. You couldn’t help but wonder if it affected him more than he let you know. 

“What are you thinking about?” Klaus noticed that you were getting lost in your thoughts. 

“Nothing important,” You didn’t want to think at all at that moment, honestly. A smile decorated your face and it convinced Klaus for now. You were happy. Nothing else mattered.

“Actually, I think toast is quite important,” You changed your mind. “Does that sound good to you?” 

“I would never complain about good old toast,” Klaus stated seriously. 

“Glad to know we’re on the same page here,” You were happy to hear that. 

Before you could even think about doing anything, Klaus cupped your face and looked deep into your eyes. He had a very piercing gaze. It felt like he could reach your soul without even trying, but you didn’t mind it at all. He simply took your breath away and turned your legs into jelly. You didn’t fight it, but you wondered what he was up to. 

“You know that I love you, right?” Klaus suddenly confessed to you, which was so unexpected. Just a moment ago he seemed like he was still half asleep, but now he was telling you those three little words so sincerely - like the fate of the world depended on it. The change was so sudden but you didn’t mind it. Hearing those three words was like music to your ears. 

“I love you too,” You answered without a doubt. The two of you had known each other for so long and usually, you let each other know your love through actions. Hearing it out loud was so special each and every time.

“Is everything alright?” You asked him cautiously. 

He nodded quickly and tried to relax his shoulders, “Yeah. I just needed to let you know.”

“I’m here for you if you want to talk about anything,” You reminded Klaus.

“I know,” Klaus seemed content with that. As if to make the moment less serious, and more cheesy, he grabbed your hand delicately. Without breaking eye contact with you, he brought your hand to his lips and he kissed you. After all the years you had spent together, he still made your cheeks heat up somehow. 

“What are you doing?” You wondered but made no effort to stop his amorous actions.

Klaus kissed a trail up your arm until he reached your neck and he paused, “Do I need a reason to kiss you?” 

“Not really, no.”

You decided to grab his jaw ever so softly so you could face each other properly. Something told you that there was something Klaus was hiding, something that was on his mind. But you also knew that there was no use in trying to figure that out until he was ready to talk about it. Perhaps he was still in shock over the fact that his brother who had been missing was back in their lives? It was surreal, even for you and you hadn’t even known Five before. 

Klaus spoke before you could, “I’m pretty sure we agreed on making toast.” It seemed like he wanted to get lost in the moment for now. You were right there by his side and you would be there when and if he wanted to talk about anything else. You’d be all ears even if he wanted to tell you about the most wicked of his stories. 

“Then what are we waiting for?” You wondered, already eager to finish making breakfast so you could waste the rest of the day in bed. If not all day, then certainly the next few hours. 

“Let me help you. I can’t possibly mess up making toast,” Klaus said once you parted from your embrace in order to get things done.

“Don’t jinx it,” You warned him. 

Klaus grabbed a couple of slices of bread and stuffed them in the toaster. “Worst case scenario, the toaster sets on fire and technically we would still have toast.”

You rolled your eyes and failed to hold back a smile.

“I mean you’re not wrong,” it was hard to argue against his logic. 

Klaus pressed the button and watched the bread disappear into the slots, “There’s only one way to find out.”

“Oh you better not set my toaster on fire!” You warned him playfully, because you knew the odds of it setting on fire were slim. Harmless banter with him was always nice. It certainly made mornings much better than they usually were. 

Klaus leaned against the counter as he waited for the bread and he gave you a curious look, “what are you going to do if I happen to set it on fire?” 

You recognized the tone in his voice with ease. The little gleam in his eyes said more than words. He was certainly awake by now. 

“Do you really want to find out?” You grabbed all that you needed from the fridge and closed the door with your hip, then placing all the ingredients on the table, never taking your eyes off of him. 

Klaus seemed positively intrigued by your answer, “Oh, I do.”

A/N: I realized after writing this that I could’ve just made this into a headcanon post. Oh well. I hope you liked it! If you did, I would love to hear your feedback 🥺

Forever Taglist:  @iraniq  @embrycallsgirl  @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho  @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13  @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna  @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing @klanceiscannon14

#klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves x you #klaus hargreeves x Y/N #Klaus Hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves one shot #klaus hargreeves fluff #tua #tua fanfiction #umbrella academy fanfiction #klaus hargreeves fanfiction #klaus hargreeves/you #klaus hargreeves/Y/N

[kannra21]

Sniperhaul fanfic

ˡᵐᵃᵒ ᶦ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉˡᶦᵉᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦ'ᵐ ᵈᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ

Overhoe finally broke out of Tartarus after a very long time. However, he couldn't have done it without the help of a certain villain mistress. 😏 Who's she and why did she choose to help this terrible (x2) man? Find out bellow.

characters: overhaul (chisaki kai) x sniper lady

word count: 3k

warnings: angst, past memories, handless overhaul, hurt, comfort, gangs, yakuza, just girl taking care of her mans

notes: I'd like to thank the person responsible for proofreading this work bc I'm supposed to keep their identity a secret. 😎 Thank you once again! And of course, the manga and characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. @meefal you were excited to see the final product so here you go, hope you like it. 🖤

✂-------------------------------------------------------

Overhaul couldn't remember how long he'd been there, he'd lost count weeks ago. The only thing he knew was that he was in "Tartarus", a prison located 5km off the coast of the Mainland. It may function like a conventional prison, but in reality, those who're deemed a severe threat toward the safety of the nation were locked up and monitored closely, regardless of whether their sentence has been decided on yet. The facility was divided into 6 levels, where the potential threat level of criminals was deemed "higher" the further underground you go. It's a prison where, once you enter, there's no chance of leaving.

He sat there in his cell, B10 being the lowest level in solitary confinement. It was too cold for his head to function and too dark for his eyes to see, with the small window above the prison doors being his only source of light. There was also an opening where prisoners received their meals, but considering that he lost his hands, the guards could easily enter without worrying too much for their well-being. They'd leave whatever they offered that day and give him a disgusted look before locking the doors after themselves. He couldn't see his reflection nor touch his face, he probably looked like crap by now. His skin was itching and he felt disoriented from all the germs occupying this space, it's been a while since he's gone out for some fresh air. 

He was practically Quirkless and yet they locked him out in the worst, most dreadful place the isolation block had to offer. He couldn't even feed himself properly, he couldn't do anything by himself whatsoever. But there was only one thing left to him; he spent days and days thinking about pops, Chrono, yakuza and everything he could have if it weren't for those stupid heroes-- no, if it weren't for his plan that so grandiosely failed. It made him feel miserable, desperate even, and with grief soon followed acceptance. It was all his fault, and he needed to live with this burden for the rest of his life. Because of him, pops is still handicapped to the bed somewhere, wherever the heroes might have taken him. 

He stood up and started beating the cell with his leg, curing his frustrations. He didn't know why he was doing it, it was irrational and he's hurting himself unnecessarily, but for some reason it made him feel lighter. At least he could transfer some of his inner pain to the outside world. Other criminals laughed at his patheticness, especially since they knew why the guards were allowed to enter his cell. They shouted that it was impossible to escape, but he wasn't trying to. He knew that it was useless a long time ago. 

Midnight came and all the prisoners mostly fell asleep. Overhaul, however, couldn't sleep a wink. Because of the dark room he spent most of his days in, he lost his sense of time so he was pacing around, deep in thought. He couldn't dream of anything nice anyways. 

"Can't fall asleep either?" a feminine voice could be heard from the other side. Wait. They allowed women here? What could she have possibly done to deserve such punishment? 

He leaned his back on the doors and slid down to the floor, trying to find the right words.

"Yes." he sighed, enthusiasm lacking in his voice "But it's not like I need you to talk about my problems." 

"Hm, whatever. Go beat your head against the bars. Fall unconscious, loser."

The man snorted, which might as well be his first time he ever did that. 

"Well, this certainly sounds effective. It's not like I have anything to lose anyways." 

"Hey." the tone of her voice was earnest, and it aroused further questions in his jumbled up head. 

"What?"

"We're going to get out of here." 

Is she being serious now? "Really? Because as far as I know, we're locked out here for good. We don't even know the severity of our sentences. They can do whatever they want with us."

"Not quite. You know that they're being supervised by 'The Hearts and Mind' party offshoots. They can’t do a thing to us as long as they have their heads to the pikes." 

This might be true, but he didn't believe in anything the government's been telling them lately. It's only a matter of time before they switch their plans and play by their own rules, because stabbing people in the back was the only thing they've ever been good at. 

"How did you end up here?" 

Oh the long-awaited question. She wondered when he'd ask. 

"It's not like I need you to talk about my problems."

He smiled, he liked this vicious side of hers. But he also realized that she could be nice as well because if that wasn't the case, she wouldn't spread promises of the escape. At least that's what he thought. 

"Sorry about that." 

"It's okay. We've all been here for a very long time, now weren't we? We lose our cool and act like total assholes."

"Direct and straight to the point I see." his deadpan voice could be heard from the other side of the bars. 

"'Been raised this way, for the better or worse." it didn't sound like she was bragging, yet it felt like she was just talking about herself, honest and confident, to cover up what she felt was wrong. The incoming topic which she'd rather avoid. 

The villainess didn't want to open up about her past, so she just answered his question. 

"I killed people beyond counting, following AFO's orders. He always wished to become the world's greatest demon lord and thus promised us enormous change in the hero society. So in order to achieve that, he needed his underlings. And that's how I ended up here."

"You were loyal till the end."

"You know what they say; there can be no progress nor achievement without certain sacrifice."

Wise beyond her years and just as sad. He wondered how her face looked like, how the world's been treating her. 

"I had my own sacrifices as well."

"Do you regret them?"

...

"I do." 

Now it was her turn to snort "Really? And I thought that people situated this low couldn't have regrets. You remember what they said about us. 'Beasts in human clothing', 'Simply dreadful beings'." 

He felt insulted, maybe the things she said were true but it's not like he was anything similar to these pigs he shared the same air with, unfortunately.

"I regret hurting the person important to me. The old man who once took me in when I was very young. He was the infamous boss of Shie Hassaikai." 

Something clicked in her, it's such a small world they're living in, "Yakuza? I know you guys. We used to trade with you back in the days."

"Todou Gang?" 

"You said it."

"But... you were a force to be reckoned with. One day you just collapsed and not a single trace could be found. According to certain sources, there was no way anyone could determine the exact cause of your downfall. So what happened?" 

"I killed them all." 

... 

"AFO told me to kill them to prove my loyalty to him and, of course, to make sure that there was no one I could turn to other than himself." 

For some questionable reasons, and he didn't dare to admit that it was empathy he felt towards a random stranger and a former gang member he shared some history with, Overhaul wanted to fill the silence that lingered between them. Perhaps, because he felt guilty for making her reveal more than what she initially intended. 

"I used pops' niece, a 6-year-old girl who had an extraordinary Quirk; it allowed her to rewind a person's body back to a certain state. That means she could put a body back to before it was injured or before the person even developed a Quirk. With that, I wanted to create a Quirk-erasing drug to get rid of the Quirk society altogether and to make sure that yakuza could rise once again. I cut her skin every day to take blood samples and to test her regenerative abilities. However, pops didn't approve of it, so I handicapped him to the bed and planned on waking him up the moment I realized my plan, to make him proud of the achievement. Unfortunately, it didn't play out as I wanted and I never reached him."

The silence followed and the woman wore a disheartening smile on her face. It's not the answer she expected, she didn't ask for another sad story from another messed up person she's met in her life. But the intentions were pure and for her, it was good enough. 

"We both fought for something only to lose it all, huh?" she laughed, but it was prominent in her tone that it was bittersweet. 

"At least you're brought here in one piece." 

"At least you can still revive your parent."

Were they comforting each other? Were they jealous of each other? Were they wallowing in self-pity? They couldn't tell. The only thing they certainly could was the embarrassment they felt from the moment they realized that some of the prisoners were eavesdropping and making fun of their vulnerabilities. See? That's what they hated the most about opening up about themselves; they were worried about their feelings being perceived as a joke. The only way to protect themselves was to rise up the walls and never let anyone get closer, except they didn't regret exchanging a word or two, as long as it was the two of them. 

The next day, 8:34PM Mainland-side entrance, the guardians of 'The Bronze Gate' announced a code red security lockdown. Panic and shouting could be heard from across the hall and the security alarm announced the potential danger. 

"Close any and all passageways on each floor. All workers are to enforce strict measures to maintain order."

"The surveillance system is down! It seems like we've been hit by some sort of EMP attack!"

Static waves were spreading around the metal frames and the prison doors of the isolation block unlocked. Overhaul could hear the commotion outside and the villains leaving their cells in a hurry, but as much as he tried, he couldn't push the heavy doors open.

"3 seconds until we're back online- wait... What the... With the system down we can't monitor the inside!"

"Nice, 3 seconds be damned." he beat the door with his legs, pushed the surface with his shoulders, leaned all of his weight on the godforsaken thing just so it could finally open. Nothing. It seems like he lost a couple of pounds during his stay here. He couldn't believe his eyes, this couldn't be happening to him. After all this time of patient waiting and hoping to meet pops once again, it turns out he'd be the only one still trapped and all because he didn't have any hands. He panicked, he really couldn't decide on what to do next. But then he remembered-

"Go beat your head against the bars, loser."

That's it! This might be his only chance to escape! He didn't have much time left though, he could hear the shooting nearby so he definitely needed to hurry.

"The system won't come back on!! The ones in solitary confinement are breaking out!! Inside!"

"Control unit's on site!! Execute lockdown in the isolation block!"

"Follow procedure! If even one of them steps a foot outside their cell-"

"Fire!! Open fire!!"

Muscular threw whatever he could find in this messed up place back at them, excitement prominent in his big smile "You ain't gonna kill me with those puny toys! So how about you show me the exit already?!" 

Other villains were joining him, still overwhelmed by the sudden freedom they've been given "Dammit... After all that time..."

"Meat..." Moonfish mumbled as he cut his opponents with his blade-like teeth. 

The villain lady joined them in the run, still carefully examining her surroundings in case they were tricked into something, "The system isn't responding to my Quirk. 'Guess Tartarus really is falling." 

As she was running down the corridor, she could hear beating noises coming from one of the doors. It sounded dull so the person must have been using their head. 

"Eh, don't tell me the idiot actually listened to my advice. He must be desperate." 

She came to the doors and turned the circular lock in a hurry. She really didn't want to stay in this place any longer, but she couldn't leave him behind either. It's not like she could use him for anything since he was basically handless and Quirkless so why was she doing it? She didn't have an answer. Maybe it was their talk from the other day, maybe because they were both gang members with a history, maybe because of her regrets and her wish to do something right for once. Or maybe because she was just this kind. Nah, this couldn't be it, she never did anything in her life that didn't require a certain purpose. She cast her heart aside a long time ago and did what was necessary for the accomplishment of the mission. It would be weird if she suddenly started using her heart again, now wouldn't it? She was AFO's personal assassin, there was simply no way. 

He came out of the room with eyes wide in puzzlement. He was finally free and ready to find pops so he could possibly revive him and try to fix things as much as he could.

They looked at each other for the first time. They never said it aloud, godforbid, but they liked the other's eyes. And perhaps the eyes were a window to a person's soul, their broken souls, tormented by the life's temptations. They were still so young, probably in their twenties, and yet they looked older at the same time. Maybe because of the seriousness in their faces, their stronger stance, the way they defied their fate. They were destined to fall apart, no one would argue with it, but circumstances drove them to take action and rise from the bottomless chasm. And now they had each other. 

"We need to get out of here," she stated and pulled him by the sleeve that hung loosely from his shoulder. They escaped Tartarus and raided a small shop near the coast to change clothes and to mingle into the public unnoticed. She quickly picked out a dress and threw herself at work while Overhaul was still standing by the shop display, looking out for the potential intruders.

He couldn't erase the thought of this being some sort of a really weird first date; the girl coming out of the stall and the guy examining her looks. He shook his head, he never had this kind of thoughts in his entire life. He needed to pull himself together. 

The bob-hair came out and adjusted the ammo on her utility belt. He looked at her from the corner and she was stunning; intimidating with a tad bit of femininity in design. He stood there and watched how good it fit her curvy form. The thoughts wandering in his head sounded so wrong, terribly wrong. He needed to bring himself to stop. 

"Oh right, I almost forgot." she took a shirt off the shelf and came to him, showing him the garment in her hands "You need a little help, right?" 

"Sure.'' his voice was small and he stood still while she undid his buttons. Maybe from the outside he looked completely calm, but from the inside he was a complete mess. He looked at her face and wondered if she knew, the kind of effect she's having on him. She raised her head and he looked to the side, there's no way he could look her in the eyes at this point. He hoped she didn't notice. 

"You like this one, don't you?" she asked, filling the awkward silence. 

"Looks don't matter, the most important thing is to change and avoid getting caught." She looked annoyed. Great. He wanted to shove his head though the wall. Wait… Why was he thinking that? 

"I choose the clothes I like. It makes me feel better in my skin."

"You look good in it."

She looked at him surprised and he quickly corrected himself "the dress looks good."

"Sure." she trailed off and put the new shirt over his shoulders. She could feel his muscles tensing. This was probably because of the cool air, she assured herself. 

"Why did you break me out of Tartarus? It's not like I could be of any use to you." 

She buttoned up his shirt and fixed the wrinkled parts on the garment, hand accidentally brushing over the left side of his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

Well... that was a surprise.

"I thought that maybe you could be of some use to the demon lord. Not Quirk-wise, but you may offer a valuable set of information. Something that the demon lord would appreciate greatly." she could feel it slowing down and her heart dropped just as much.

"But also because I... liked you."

He looked at her incredulously and she smiled. She pinched him to bring him out of the trance and he complained. "Don't be awkward, say something."

"I like you too... I, this is my first time I ever said this to anyone. It's weird."

She slapped him gently on the shoulder and he reached to take it but, yea, no hands.

"What the hell?"

"You're the one who's weird. But I guess that I like you this way." she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek "Ew, you should definitely shave though. No doubt about it."

The former yakuza boss swore; he'll never understand women. But for some reason he couldn't deny that he was particularly drawn to this one. He wondered if pops would approve of her.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #overhaul #chisaki kai #sniperhaul #shie hassaikai #ch 311 #bnha spoilers #bnha fic #crack ship #parody

[pedropascalssimp]

No need for tears

Old Boba fett x reader

Request: (SPOILERS) I saw you were taking requests for Boba, so I was wondering if you could do old boba comforting you after Grogu leaves with luke. Really sad and fluffy. LOVE YOUU

Warnings: angst. Fluff. Mild language.

*gif not mine*

You've been there for him every day since din found him, you've played with him countless times, laughing whenever he'd tumble over from excitement. You've rocked him to sleep every night or time he was tired, singing him lullabies on the silent ship. Although din saw the child as a son, you couldn't help but grow so damn fond of Grogu.

So as you watched how din stood so vulnerable, helmet off as his dark locks was a mess atop his head and dark eyes full of tears, lip trembling as the child touches his cheek. You knew that you'd never see Grogu again, the jedi was taking him.

Quick to stride over you place a hand gently by Grogu's side, running a finger over his cheek. His eyes look at you, tears threatening to spill as you watch how he wraps his little fingers around your pointer finger.

"I'm gonna miss you womp rat" you dryly chuckle, a choked sob nearly tumbling from your lips. "you be nice to the jedi guy okay, you don't cause him as much trouble as you have me and din" you say, voice cracking as you try and not sob. Din couldn't even speak he was so tore up, his tears almost falling. But your words make the ghost of a smile tug at his lips.

You lean down and touch your forehead to Grogu's shortly walking away not wanting to see him leave. Cara gives you a sympathetic look as you simply walk by, you wouldn't cry. Not right now, you'd save your tears for a moment when you was alone and could break down.

The ship landed on a planet you didn't even care to know, the name not important to you. You was heart broken, you already missed him. You could tell din was as well, for he wasn't even speaking to no one and put his helmet back on, to hide his tears you'd assume.

Walking off the ship with Cara, Fennec and din. You walked ahead of them. Already in search of your knewly found friend boba fett, although you'd be lying if you said you didn't find him insanely attractive and captivating. But that's a story for another time. Once spotting the man clad in green beskar, you feel your tears welling up again, lip trembling.

"where's the little one?" boba asks in confusion, not seeing Grogu. You feel your heart clenching in pain at the thought of what happened, but it was for the best right? So why did it hurt so much....

"he's been taken into the care of a jedi, he's safe" Fennec says somewhere from behind you, and the tears slipped past your eyes. A sob escaping your lips. Your vision was blurry from the tears thet fell from your eyes and you could hardly register the arms that wrapped around you, holding you close as you finally break down. Head resting on a armored chest.

You'd miss Grogu so damn much, you'd miss waking up to him trying to eat everything in sight, you'd miss him always touching things he wasn't supposed to... You'd miss hearing his sweet little coos. You cried harder at the thought, at how you'd possibly never see him again.

"it's okay princess... It's okay" you realize then it's boba who holds you, who soothing rubs your back as you cry. His helmet off as he whispers reassurance in your ears. "he's safe, the little one is in good hands" you're sobs turn to whimpers.

"w - why? Why did he have to go.... We protected him, I miss him so much" you whimper as you look up at boba, his soft brown eyes showing the most comforting look someone could give. It surprised you that such a hardened bounty hunter who had a dangerous reputation could be so... Gentle, and you knew he wasn't one for comforting, he wouldn't feed someone false hope and useless words just to calm them down, so boba had to be speaking the truth.

"you done good, you and you're friend helped him survive in this harsh galaxy... You gave him safety, and now because of you princess he has a permanent safety" boba tried to help you, he really did. He hated seeing you so upset.

"but I miss him..." you say with a quivering voice. Eye's locked on the man's before you. He sighs and cups your face gently, your soft skin a warm welcome for his roughed palms.

"I'm sure you do, but there is no need for tears when he's finally safe girl... You should be happy that he can finally train properly and live a fear free life..." he muttered, his thumb gently rubbing away your tears.

You let his words settle in, trying hard to feel happy for the little child you missed. Perhaps boba was right, maybe you should be happy for Grogu. He was training with what looked to be a jedi master, most likely living a life behind the walls of safety and peacefulness. With you and din he was always safe, but also put in danger... At this thought you sigh, looking down and realizing you should be happy that Grogu was safe, but you'd still miss him.

Smiling up at boba with tears still falling from your eyes you nod, "you're right, he's safe now. More so then when he was in my care" you muttered and boba grasps your face delicately making you look at him.

"he was always safe with you, don't ever doubt that. But if he was with you and the mandalorian still yet he'd never have a place to call home, you'd never be able to sleep with both eyes shut" boba said and although his words hurt, they were true. You knew that and you let them settle in.

You close your eyes and nod your head, leaning into his touch, letting his embrace envelope you. Calming you down. Unknowingly to you, boba quite enjoyed holding you close, the feeling of your smaller self in his large arms was something he Never thought he'd longed for, not until he held you close. Your sniffles became quiet as your tears slowed down, slowly raising your head off his armored chest you look up at boba.

"thank you..." you murmur, eye's red from crying. You watched a small smile tug at his lips. Dark eye's looking over your face, You felt more calm in his arms.

Boba only nods in acknowledgement, letting you lay your head on his chest once more. Letting you bask in the comfort of his arms. Boba gently placed a kiss atop your head and had decided at that point he'd never let you go, deciding he'd always want to protect you from harm. Although he'd never speak his thoughts out loud, boba knew he never wanted to see you cry ever again.

___________________________________________

#pedro pascal #din djarin #the mandalorian #star wars #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #baby yoda #mando x reader #boba fett imagine #boba fett x reader #boba fett #din djarin x you #din djarin imagine #din djarin x reader

[nct-oli]

I understand Phupha. I really do. And I desperately want to ramble about his motivations through this story, so read on if you want to go through the journey of Phupha’s character depth with me!

(Note: I haven’t opened the tags or anything yet since watching the episode because I genuinely wanted to get all of my own thoughts written out before I bring in influences from other people, so if someone made a post like this already, I apologize and I promise I didn’t see it!!)

Let’s look at Phupha’s decisions and thought processes right now. He received an order from Tian’s dad to protect Tian in the village. When he received that order, he had never met Tian. Of course he wasn’t going to say no, and of course he was going to assume that Tian was a rich kid with poor intentions coming to the village. How many rich kids before Torfun had come to the village and abandoned ship when things got tough? Plus Phupha cares about the kids; he probably hated seeing these teachers enter and exit their lives so often. Not to mention, it probably would have made Phupha’s life easier to not have to take on this extra duty of caring for Tian.

But then Tian showed up, and things changed so quickly. Sure, maybe Phupha helped him extra at the very beginning out of duty, but in doing so, he got to know him even more quickly. And through that, feelings developed so fast. Let’s look at Tian bathing, for example. Phupha knew Tian had a bathhouse at his home, and yet, he took him to the waterfall. Why? Was that not wasting his own time? He so easily could have said, “You need a bath? Behind the house.” And yet, he took him to the waterfall anyways, for no real reason. Perhaps it was to test him, but more than anything, I think he was just trying to tease him and spend time with him. And when he slept at his house, sure, maybe it could have just been to protect him out of duty, but asking Tian what he had for dinner just because he wanted to talk to him was never in the order given by Tian’s dad. That was solely because he enjoyed Tian’s company.

We all know that Phupha’s care for Tian was never just out of duty. It may have started that way, but it so quickly progressed past that. Which is why Tian finding out his father was involved must have been so devastating. It completely contradicted what he was so certain was true. I mean, hell, drunk Phupha even confessed to Tian. He knew Phupha’s feelings were not out of duty, but he was still lied to (which is a whole rant on its own).

I’ve been thinking a lot too about Phupha’s love language. From what I can see, his top love language is acts of service, and more specifically, through his protection. Phupha loves the village. He loves the forest. And he loves Tian. When Tian started to understand Phupha’s love language, I think he recognized that as being Phupha’s expression of love toward him. And because Phupha protected him so strongly, Tian read that as Phupha’s love for him being so fierce (which it absolutely was, of course).

As their relationship blossomed, Tian continuously thanked Phupha for protecting him. And on surface level, yes, he was genuinely thanking him for keeping him alive and safe in the village. But digging deeper, he was thanking him for loving him, because he recognized Phupha’s expression of love is told through his dedication to keeping the people he loves and the forest safe. So when Tian was sitting by Phupha’s bedside begging him to wake up and continue protecting him, it wasn’t just him wanting Phupha to keep him safe. He was literally begging him to wake up and continue loving him.

Hence why, when the bandaid was ripped off and he found out his father had ordered Phupha to protect Tian, he started questioning where the line was between duty and love. And then Phupha wouldn’t admit to Tian that what Tian perceived as acts of love and not duty were exactly that, acts of love, that he hadn’t been imagining it. Not only that but when the emotions got high, Phupha lied to him, saying it was never personal and that it was all for just his job, breaking Tian’s heart.

Do I agree with the way he handled it? No. I think the saying harsh words to make Tian hate him rather than communicating properly was absolutely the wrong way to go. But do I understand it? Yes.

Before going any further into that though, let’s talk about Phupha’s reasoning for siding with Tian’s father over Tian. First of all, the obvious is that Tian’s father is a well-respected authority figure, who also easily has the connections to ruin Phupha’s career (not that he necessarily would but he could if he wanted to). As much as we all want Phupha to disregard Tian’s father’s orders, we all know he’s in a tough spot. He doesn’t just love Tian; he also loves the village and the forest, and he dedicated his life to protecting them. He has to weigh that into his decision too.

But beyond that, Phupha has so much respect for his late father. A lot of the lessons he did not understand when his father was alive were lessons he came to understand as he carried on his father’s missions. He said earlier in the show that he did not understand his father’s dedication to the forest until he dedicated his own life to it. He recognized the wisdom his father tried to pass on to him that he was hesitant to accept.

And so to have Tian’s father telling Phupha that Tian has a good life back in Bangkok, of course he’s going to project some of his respect for his own father onto Tian and Tian’s father, failing to recognize that the two situations aren’t the same. In addition to that, he probably does have a feeling of “if my father was still alive...” And knowing Tian’s father is there wanting to take care of Tian and see his life progress, of course he’s going to respect that. That’s why Phupha even told Tian he shouldn’t think less of his father.

Plus we’ve seen how watching Phupha’s mother grieve affected him personally. When Tian’s father mentioned how his mother hadn’t seen her son, and knowing how she almost lost Tian, I’m sure there was also some guilt for wanting to keep Tian to himself when he watched his own mother grieve. Of course, Tian hadn’t passed away like Phupha’s father, but the feeling of loss is similar enough.

I also assume there are some cultural differences regarding family dynamics and respect that I cannot speak to given I am not Thai.

So from that perspective, of course he started to believe that Tian’s father knew best. He didn’t know how miserable Tian was in Bangkok; he didn’t get to see the way Tian’s frown turned to a smile or how suddenly bright his world became when he came to the village. He never saw any of that.

And if we move on past Phupha’s family history, we all know Phupha is fearful of vulnerability. He’s closed himself off his entire life, it seems, from love. And by the time he hit 30, he probably accepted that would be his life: protecting the forest and returning to an empty bed. Opening himself up to Tian was not easy for him, and now when he finally allowed himself to dream of a less lonely life, it’s been threatened. And to avoid being hurt any further, he’s choosing to throw it away himself. It gives him the false perception that this was his own choice, not someone else’s. I’d even go as far as to say him losing his father is an example of a time when he had pain thrown at him that was not his own choice, and there’s probably some trauma from that that he still has to work through. Then he similarly lost Torfun and has had to work through that pain as well. Is it healthy to push his own happiness away at the first sign of trouble? Absolutely not. Plus it hurts Tian. But does it make sense given everything we know about him? Absolutely yes.

(Side note: Tian did the same thing before the surgery. He was wreckless because it gave him a sense of power regarding his own fate when it felt like his pain was being controlled by someone or something else.)

So now here we are, episode 9, Phupha is trying to do the right thing. Of course this story is showing us Tian’s perspective mostly, and so we empathize with Tian more. But I think it’s really important to acknowledge how Phupha is a character with so much depth, who will make mistakes just as Tian did and who deserves to receive the same forgiveness and consideration we give Tian.

When we look at Phupha, we know his intentions are good. He genuinely loves Tian, and especially throughout the events of this episode, he finally started to see how the guilt Tian felt about Torfun was eating him alive, how he was trying to live his life to make up for the life she had lost rather than for the life he had been given. And because he loves Tian so much, he wanted better for him.

That’s why he made him promise to value himself and to live his life for himself from now on. Of course, we all know there’s a disconnect between what he wants for Tian and the options he’s presenting Tian to pick from.

But just like Tian had a bandaid ripped off, Phupha did too. Tian thought Phupha’s intentions were purely out of love and started questioning why he made the decisions he did. Phupha thought Tian’s love for the village and even for him were straight from his own heart, and then when he found out Tian was purposely living his life as Torfun did, he didn’t know what to make of his intentions anymore. Of course, just as Tian was never wrong about Phupha acting out of love when he was protecting him, Phupha was never wrong about Tian acting out of love when interacting with the children and the rest of the villagers.

Yet he doesn’t know that. In his mind, Tian was always living someone else’s life. In his mind, Tian’s life must have been back in Bangkok because suddenly it didn’t seem like it was here. Suddenly the life he was living here in Pha Pun Dao was Torfun’s. And then when Tian starts insisting he’ll stay if Phupha tells him his feelings, of course he’s going to suddenly feel like it would be selfish to do so. Like I said, now he believes Tian’s life really is back in Bangkok. And he has Tian’s father telling him that too.

And we know he always believed that to some extent, given his response to the rangers when they wanted Tian to extend his stay. He told them he had college to finish and a bright future ahead of him. He hadn’t believed his future would be in the village and certainly not with him. It was when he allowed himself to be more vulnerable that he gave in and asked Tian to stay. But now with everything that happened since then, no wonder he felt selfish not wanting Tian to leave.

Acts of service. Phupha showing his love through protection. This right here is Phupha trying to protect Tian once again. This is Phupha trying one last time to show Tian his love language. Even if he’s hurting Tian in the process.

All of this is to say, is Phupha in the wrong right now? Yes. Of course. I’m going to write a separate post about Tian and how I believe this story will end, but we can clearly see how Phupha is contradicting himself right now. He wants Tian to choose himself and live his life for no one else, and yet he isn’t giving Tian the option to stay in the village for himself. He immediately threw away the idea that that was even a possibility, and it’s hurting both him and Tian.

But Tian has been in the wrong many times before, despite having a heart of gold and good intentions. And that’s where Phupha is too. He wants to do the right thing, but his own guilt and fear are keeping him from even seeing the true right thing.

Like I said, I’m going to write an entirely separate post about how I believe this story will end and why I think the ending will be beautiful. But I’m not worried. I think this is a test of not only Tian and Phupha’s relationship but also the two of them as individuals. I genuinely really love Phupha as a character, and I respect the way he tries so hard. He’s allowed to be wrong too sometimes.

#phutian #phupha x tian #a tale of thousand stars #atots #1000 stars #this was a LOT oops #I just think Phupha has SO MUCH DEPTH that people overlook because he’s Tian’s love interest #I think being angry at him for his decisions right now is very justified #but I also think it doesn’t do him justice to act as though they are not in character #I think he’s a beautiful character and I am so grateful to see him grow too #I ADDED A 'KEEP READING' BECAUSE I'M ON DESKTOP NOW