#to 4 for my own sanity and everyones elses

[lovesickeros]

can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞

☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina

[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]

× yelan

Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.

Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.

The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.

She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.

Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.

"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.

"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"

× ei

Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.

..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE

Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.

She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.

But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.

Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.

"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"

She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.

Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.

Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.

× furina

Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.

Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.

Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).

She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!

Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.

Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.

"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."

The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.

"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!

..Maybe a little.

"Just warn me next time, please?"

#asks #sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #yelan #furina #ei #THIS DIDNT SHOW UP IN MY INBOX UNTIL LIKE #NOVEMBERBIM SORRY IM ANSERRING IT SO LATE?????? #tumblr working right is a miracle that will never happen #anyway can u tell i have. biases. there r so many characters I wanted to write for this (shenhe.........) but I forced myself to limit it #to 4 for my own sanity and everyones elses #also didnt know if u wanted just yan or sagau so I went for my specialty 🧍‍♂️ #was gonna include my beloved cryo archon but decided against it #ei the pathetic lesbian that u r....mwah #I'm sorry this took so long it took me 50 yrs to figure out yelan.. 😭 #i am still not confident abt my characterization of her but shes so good at her job even im confused abt her #reading her lore crying and sobbing in the corner. shaking her like a can of soda #checks note idk uhh cocky doesnt let herself form personal relationships charismatic uhhhhhhhh #idk dont ask me i just started praying and hoping for the best here #i think she'd get a kick out of getting reader into like. fudging rolls and shit. create an absolute menace out of reader #set them loose and see what chaos happens #just kicks back and watches it all unfold internally laughing her ass off #i didnt know whether to just do headcanons in uh. bulleted list or like #full on drabbles

[armageddidnt]

Welcome to My Collection of Random Thoughts during my nth* rewatch of Good Omens Season 2

*only amazon prime knows the exact number at this point but I’m fairly certain it’s in the double digits

Episode 1: Gabriel’s fly lurking in the box when Aziraphale first takes it inside 👀

Crowley’s promise of “two minutes” basically means that he’s been homeless and living in his car for the past 4 years strictly so that he can be within 2 driving minutes of Aziraphale at all times in case his angel needs him I’m not crying you are

So here I think the key word is “fragile,” Crowley knows they are ostensibly safe from their respective sides but that could change at any moment so he’s basically spent the last 4 years in anxiety-ridden terror hovering as close to Aziraphale as he can to try and protect him from heaven, hell, and anyone else that would want to bring him harm after all that business they pulled in season 1 with stopping Armageddon

Episode 2: I just happened to pause the episode while Aziraphale is lying to the angels about his miracle and LOL Michael really outdid himself here (Sheen, not the Archangel)

Gabriel trying to swat flies and almost smashing the repository of every single one of his memories

I’m cAckling

So if Good Omens exists in Good Omens, does that mean Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett exist in Good Omens?? Do you think they based their Aziraphale and Crowley characters on Aziraphale and Crowley??

Episode 3: So I’m trying to find any hints or foreshadowing of the Gabriel Beelzebub thing bc tbh I did kind of feel like it came out of nowhere which is really the only issue I have with them. I found this one scene where Beelzebub almost ?? seems to be concerned about Gabriel ?? But it’s blink and you miss it and there could be lots of other reasons why Beelzebub doesn’t want to fail in locating Gabriel (pressure from/leverage over heaven, etc) so idk

More Foreshadowing Fly content 🪰

Episode 4: So here we’ve seen that Shax can just appear inside the Bentley bc she did it earlier to talk to Crowley. Shax only pretended to be a hitchhiker so she could be invited in because Azirpahale was driving so technically she needed permission to cross the threshold of an angel 👀

This scene will never not destroy me the 1941 flashback is the absolute sOFTEST thing ever to happen on this show

We really need more context here I need to see the Crowley-Furfur Monkey Rides

Episode 5: ahahaha thank you google translate for absolutely destroying my sanity this evening

POP goes the Ziraphale

Okay I know you can’t hear it in the gif but just before Nina takes Maggie’s hand, there’s a very quiet miracle noise, like Azirpahale literally MADE Nina dance with Maggie, he said I’m writing a Mina Jane-Austen-Ball-AU and my otp will KISS godDAMMIT

Azirpahale seems lowkey kind of manic this whole scene tho, he’s controlling literally everyone to force Nina and Maggie together and whenever Crowley says anything that pokes holes in Aziraphale’s Magical Jane Austen Ball Fairytale, Aziraphale just straight up denies it. He wants Nina and Maggie to dance and he wants him and Crowley to dance and he refuses to acknowledge anything beyond that.

Is this just Shax insulting Crowley for how much of a nuisance he’s been or a reference to his former status as an angel ???

They’re both completely dismissive of each other when they’re trying to say something important and that’s the main issue they’ve been having this entire season tbh

Episode 6: I think it’s funny that Crowley describes the angels as bees here because in the book, Neil/Terry describe humans the same way. Guess we have more in common than we thought huh?

So the metatron was the one who originally decided Gabriel would be memory wiped and not sent to hell, and he was also the one that decided not to sound an alarm about Gabriel for some reason and said ‘just go find him yourself’ instead. The metatron has definitely got his own agenda and you can bet he doesn’t want Aziraphale up there in heaven because he’s a “leader” and he’s “honest” like that’s exactly what Gabriel was and look where it got him 👀

There’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on about the metatron bringing Aziraphale a coffee from “give me coffee or give me death” and then asking Aziraphale if he’s going to take the coffee he’s giving him…

I have not seen a single person talk about this since s2 came out but Nina literally calls Maggie “angel” because that’s the term of endearment they hear Crowley using for Aziraphale !!!! I’m still going fERAL over this and I can’t believe no one else is eitHER

Something about this part of The Final Fifteen compared to this scene from the first episode is so representative of the entire season. Azirpahale keeps saying “my way or get out” and Crowley finally hits a wall and can follow Aziraphale no further. So he does just that. He goes.

I’m sure a lot of us by now have seen this post that brings up how Aziraphale literally pushes the remains of Crowley into his mouth and swallows and it’s the only thing I see when I watch this now

We still don’t know for certain if Crowley queued up this song to play on their way to the Ritz or if the Bentley started playing it all on its own and it’s driving me insane

Basically how I am doing after my Truly-Alarming-Number-th watch of this traumatizing episode/season. WELP hope you enjoyed this garbage dump of my thoughts and feelings time to go cry for a bit again BYE

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #my season 2 rewatch aka: I Went Insane #i am unwell #I haven't slept properly in 44 days and counting #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #angel #demon #armageddidnt-blog #armageddidnt-gifset #armageddidnt-screaming #armageddidnt-pain #good omens 2x06

[lizardaggro]

on the flip side (twst bully!au) part 4

sorry this didn't get out sooner; my sleep issues are really upset (might be daylight savings?) and i spent most of the past few days feeling like a zombie. i'm better now though! it's also a bit shorter than i'd like, but i didn't want to leave you guys hanging. also two fics? in one day?? crazy!

part 1 part 2 part 3 genre: gn reader, angst trigger warnings: bullying, yandere has officially escalated word count: 897

“Child of man,” Malleus said. Even his voice felt suffocating. “Lilia has informed me that some… pests have been bothering you as of late.” He must mean the others. Did he really not know? Well, you supposed it wasn’t too farfetched, since he didn’t have any friends and everyone was afraid of him, especially after his Overblot. “You need only have let me know and I would have… taken care of them. But worry not. You’ll be safe here, where no one would dare to harm you.”

Oh no. Oh no no no. It was finally happening. Malleus had lost his mind. It felt a little nice, you’d admit, knowing that at least one person still cared for you. But that didn’t mean you could accept being trapped here for who knows how long. You still had to take care of Grim and attend classes. Not to mention you hated feeling trapped.

You knew you couldn’t count on anyone to save you. Lilia was the only one who might be able to make him see reason, but he seemed to be fully complicit in the matter. The dorm leaders might be somewhat capable if they worked together, but they’d have no motive for that, other than to torment you further.

Getting angry and yelling wouldn’t solve anything here. You had to be smart about it. “Tsunotarou, I can’t stay here. You know that,” you reasoned. “I have responsibilities to take care of. Besides, wouldn’t you grow tired of me? Everyone else did, after all.” You surprised yourself with how true your sentiments were. Maybe you harbored more negative feelings about all of this than you’d realized.

Naturally you were pissed that everyone turned on you, but you’d never really stopped to think about how lonely you’d been. Even your professors would hardly give you the time of day. You didn’t even know what you possibly could’ve done to set them off. Grim and the ghosts were the only ones whose attitudes never changed; but it wasn’t the same.

Malleus was pouting; there was simply no other way to describe the look on his face. “Surely you don’t mean that; not after everything they’ve done,” he quipped. Was he serious? In what way did he think you’d enjoy being trapped inside one tiny room for who knows how long?

“Yes. I do. And I don’t appreciate you taking away my freedom like this. If you really cared about me, you’d respect my wishes.” You hoped appealing to his emotions would work, no, you needed it to work. If it didn’t, you weren’t sure how long your sanity would last.

“I do care about you, Child of Man,” he objected. “Can’t you see that’s why I’m doing this? It isn’t safe out there. You’ll get hurt by those vile beings you once called friends.” He spat out that last word, like they were undeserving of the title. You didn’t know how to feel about that.

There was one thing you did know, however: this man was delusional. He’d gone paranoid with worries for your safety, even though he knew nothing just hours ago and was fine. He’d always been a little possessive, you’d noticed, but you’d brushed it off as him being afraid of losing his one and only friend. Now this? This was a whole new level.

Ah, but then you remembered. Malleus knew about most of the bullying, but not all of it. You doubted Lilia would’ve tattled on his own dorm members. You smiled, catching him off guard. “But am I any safer in here? I bet you don’t know, after all. You don’t know how Sebek would beat me in the halls, how Silver watches me everywhere I go. It’s creepy; I don’t like it. And I’m sure Lilia didn’t tell you how he tries to poison me with his cooking,” you listed calmly, as if you were having an ordinary conversation.

“They WHAT?!” Malleus shouted. “LILIA! SILVER! SEBEK! GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!” You flinched; he was usually so calm, you didn’t expect him to suddenly yell like that. It was good that he believed you, not that you were lying. You didn’t have a backup plan.

As the unfortunate trio entered the room, you made your way over to the door. You thought you’d managed to slip out unnoticed, but Lilia shot you a wink. Did that mean he’d keep his mouth shut about your escape? You could only hope.

You ran through the halls, Malleus’s shouting covering up the sounds of your footfalls. You knew this place like the back of your hand, so you weren’t at risk of getting lost. The only question was how long the lecture would last. If you were lucky, Lilia would buy you some time, but you wouldn’t count on it.

And then, at last, you were safe, on the other side of the portal. You were totally winded, after having had the run of your life. Everything seemed great, but then you heard a voice.

“Oya? What do we have here? What were you doing in Diasomnia, prefect?” Jade asked with a definitely fake smile like he didn’t know exactly what you were doing in Diasomnia. Oh, great. Azul was with him too. How… lovely. Staying with Malleus was starting to sound like it wasn’t so bad after all. No, nevermind. It was definitely worse.

taglist (CLOSED): @twistedcece @slxt4h1m @teawhere @pleasehugmeaether @reivelmin @aoiyx @trashlanternfish360 @probablynoposts @d3sperate-enuf @mono273 @help-whatdoimakemyusername @justuraverageeverydaydegenerate @im-here-for-the-fun-of-it

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst bully!au #twst bully au #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #sebek zigvolt #diasomnia #twisted wonderland silver #lilia vanrouge #azul ashengrotto #jade leech

[wandagcre]

SAM & HER GF & COREFOUR IN CHRISTMAS HEADCANONS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

christmas with the core four as sam's girlfriend 🎄

Note: this had become a christmas special writing hhh i hope you like it nonetheless <3

whether you have a tradition or not during christmas time, you'll certainly have a lively extension of a family now that you're sam's girlfriend!

you ask sam what you should prepare and she simply says "your presence is much needed of course, then some clothes and finally, hope for the best for the sake of your sanity"

you chuckle at sam's words. it was between a lighthearted joke and reality. the 3/4 of the gang is full of expressive and loud personalities but you already met them and hung out, so you know you're in for a (good) ride 🫶🏼

but thankfully, you're already welcomed so you thought your previous worries were silly. chad goes for a special handshake, then mindy and tara for a warm hug and how are you's <3 it was genuine too

sam is already smiling at the sight of you as she puts your bags away, how you're getting along with them in christmas style. she has known the twins for so long and was ecstatic to finally continue celebrating it with her sister, and now with someone special — you.

after settling in, you're surprised that they actually cooked? not because of their skills but them combined is a hazard and their brain cells cancelling out each other. sam chimed in soon as she caught the conversation, "hey what does that say about me then! >:( i instructed them carefully when they started cooking,"

rest of the gang laughed, took no offense to your assumption. they said that you were absolutely right. in fact, tara reveals she almost did the classic switch up - salt over sugar - all because she got immersed at their in between conversations to which you join laughing at.

it's so diverse! full of everyone's favorite dishes at christmas time instead of the traditionally expected dishes. you told them that this was such a good idea and made things even more heartwarming to celebrate. they smile and chad rubs your back, "of course. we're our own little family. we do it according to our favorite picks and sharing it... in a way feels like you're sharing love, too. it makes it even more special." mindy butts in, "not bad, brother."

tara agrees and says chad definitely has his moments.

then! from your back, apparently sam sneaked in and smoothly glides another dish - your own favorite! she looks anywhere else except your eyes, "you didn't know the theme and you deserve a slot in this tradition," she murmured and tara adds, "so that's what you've been burning your hands for?" your eyes well up in affection. you press a chaste kiss to which the gang gagged at 😭

"no mistletoe for you two!" - they reprimanded you

trying eggnogs in discreet - perpetuated by the twins, specifically by chad (unknowingly made them after mindy said "go wild, surprise me") and immediately regretted her words. after things cooled down (re: woodsboro and new york mess) they decided to bring it up, the carpenter sisters weren't safe and so were you!

sam looking at the sidelines, suspiciously smiling and seemingly anticipating. you took more than a sip unknowingly, then soon as it hit your tastebuds, your face was contorted in disgust. the women started laughing. chad says "don't hate the brits!"

sam says in your defense, "you know they eat baked beans with dry sausages and bread right?" tara agrees with ease, saying that's a fair point and flips off the twins for the same surprise they did last year. adding to the chaos, you firmly say, "yeah! it offended my tastebuds. i thought this was a christmas tradition not a frat initiation!"

the core four loved your response 😭 sam included, was laughing hard and gasping for air. it was witty and the twins playfully retort that it was extreme of you to accuse!

sam couldn't stop smiling and laughing oh my god somebody help her facial muscles! it's permanently stitched to her at this point

mindy loves the banter. she nudges you and says that sam is partially getting her lick back. but mainly it was in your honor, to which she gags at because you guys are subtly so sweet already 🥹

they introduce you to some clichés, but with a twist! gingerbread house making but five of you will pick names, not revealing them and within an hour u should dedicate it to them. they're all wonky creations but decent. sam can't do much to control it anyway as they try to sabotage everyone, including yours 😭 the clean up will be tedious for sure!

you're surprised that tara decorated yours in your favorite color and how she noticed since it wasn't that obvious and yet she noticed a pattern apparently, it shows with your stuff and clothing! i think hers are perfected, standard-like creation and you see her stickman drawing attempt of two persons - apparently it's you and sam

sam points at it, "is that us? why am i smaller?" and tara grumbles. "this is for your girlfriend can you leave my masterpiece alone?"

you agree with tara who grinned widely at your approval, "be nice. i think it's an adorable touch to this homey gingerbread house!"

mindy adds knowingly, "also, sam, i hate to break it to you but you're an absolute puddle of baby around your girlfriend, that's why you're smaller - duh. your real height is not equivalent to your height there." and tara spreads her arms, exclaiming 'exactly!'

chad looks back and forth, trying to grasp the context. "oh! oh! i get it," he clasps his hands rather loudly. "you're so right for that. and you let her call you sammy?"

you giggle at sam's petulant pout at the teasing but she doesn't deny anything. "whatever," she grumbles and when you wanted to appease it with a kiss as you lean in to sam, the 3/4 are already making gagging and vomiting sounds 😭✋🏼

watching movies based on your favorite christmas themed movies! (insert an obscure movie u randomly hyperfixated or a popular one from your country) usually it was a matter of rock paper and scissors for fairness, but since you're new they gave you a special pass and played your choice of movie <3

your pick was new to them. therefore they were entranced at the plot and you enjoy the commentary and how they analyzed it, like little kids during the movie time in class. you look to your side and see that sam's eyebrows were bunched and she ate in sloth-like manner 😭

baby was so focused! it was funny how she looked like that while her arm is hooked around yours and leaned to you comfortably. sam says i can see why this is appealing to you... it's so you and unique and it matched your energy and she happily rambles - much to 3/4's surprise

not because sam is silently attentive but it's their first time to see her so open and carefree with her partner and so they have this faint, knowing smiles on their faces. they're happy that sam finally have found her person that she feels comfortable and honest with🥺

as you go to your respective rooms (obviously you're rooming with sam) mindy shouts from the hall, "please be respectful and let's keep the jolly, wholesome spirit alive! we do not need anymore virgo babies,"

tara visibly wanted to vomit and covered her ears. chad looks at his twin confused, "since when do you have beef with virgos?"

meanwhile you and sam were stuck in chuckling and was flustered. "i didn't even think of that!" you shout back to mindy who replies with sure, jan. as you and sam settle in her room, you take her hand and swung them gently, your gaze intent on sam's brown ones. "thank you for having me. i felt so loved." both of your hearts felt so full. your silly smile is unerasable and so is sam's, you find it endearing how the two of you probably look like fools together.

and sam pouts cutely at your words. "no, thank you baby for being here. it's only a first of many more to come." she retrieved something - a mistletoe - on her pocket. sam placed it above you two, and you smirk at her sly action. "let's seal it with a kiss then?" you say to which sam eagerly responds to and met your lips with no hesitation.

#headcanons #sam carpenter imagine #sam carpenter x fem reader #sam carpenter x reader #scream christmas #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter x female reader #requested

[shinjisdone]

When you have an Secret Admirer - and it's not them (2; Savanaclaw)

A love letter was left at your door and now you are searching for that 'secret admirer' - everyone wants to help you out...but have their own reason for it.

'I hope the treats were of your liking and that you are looking forward to my affections...'

form of headcanons + scenario-ish

[note: reader is gender-neutral but mostly mentioned in 2. pov; a series of everyone you meet following you. headcanon will follow each char. own thoughts on the situation. mostly nervousness, slight jealousy & stubbornness]

Part 1 of the 'secret admirer' series: Heartslabyul

Part 3: Octavinelle

Part 4: Scarabia

Part 5: Pomefiore

Part 6: Ignihyde

Part 7: Diasomnia

The next day seemed surreal. For the majority of the students here, everything seemed normal, aside for a few six of them.

As the door of your dorm squeaked as it slowly closed, your eyes could barely adjust to the light of the dawn as two figures were already waiting for you. "Nya, what's this?" Grim hopped between the three of you, "Yer early." He yawned. "S-so are you." Deuce's voice stammered and he quickly hid it by clearing his throat. Something told you that you didn't want to question on why they were here to pick you up so early - and without any complaints from Ace. After all, you weren't keen on telling them why you're so early up too.

The quarrel and jokes were just as forced. You could barely listen as your hand involuntarily fished around in your bag and you brought something up to quickly throw it into your mouth. "Uh, (Name)?" Ace rose a brow, "What are you doin' there?"

Ace did his best not to blink as your hand vanished behind your back. 'Nothing', you mumbled with a full mouth. His lips twitched up, parted but he couldn't think of any comeback. The redhead could only watch you the entire walk with a keen eye and a few jaded laughter in-between.

Another thing to add to the surrealism of today, Deuce was the most talkative this morning. Asking you questions regarding from yesterday's incident (though as vague as your answers) to things he already knew about. He just...needed to fill in the silence or else his worries will eat up his sanity. "C'mon, we should hurry to alchemy class! W-we could even study first thing in the morning before anyone else! ...Together..."

Entering the hallway, you saw Cater leaning against the wall not waiting and noticed you four before you even did. He waved enthusiastically before joining your group, throwing an arm around you. Your caring senior's gotta look out for his sweetie juniour, no?

Trey wasn't far away as he decided to pass by but throw in some advice alongside his greeting. "Be sure to eat right, yeah? Treats are nice and all but you can end up with some bad caries...okay? I'll be sure to treat you some good lunch in the cafeteria if you need it, alright? Don't be a stranger, my juniour." He waved before going to his own class why is everyone up so early? and dragging Cater with him. Though he couldn't help but notice the crumbs at the side of your lips...

Okay, now it is not a surprise to see Riddle this early. Dormleader and almost perfect student, this is nothing but natural to him. What isn't however, is that he stays far longer with you to chat. The redhead made sure not to mention the 'criminal' but gave you some warnings here and there...with readjusting your tie and patting your head. Since when does he do that? The...pat on the head part Riddle barely noticed your confusion as he quietly told Ace and Deuce to look out for you.

It was when you were just about to enter the classroom when you bumped into something...something tall and sturdy.

Jack Howl

Oh. It's Jack.

Well, he makes sense. Tough guy is out on his morning walk as always. Seems like had the same idea as you.

The wolf gets startled before visibly relaxing once he sees it's you. He sighs before berating you - though when he's the one doing it, it feels like light joking.

"Good morning. Guess we had the same idea, coming into class early. I just had time after my morning walk. Wasn't as effective as I thought it'd be...too cold so early. I wasn't out for long."

It made you smile having this little small-talk with him. Everyone else you have met so far all felt too..off.

Jack stopped mid-sentence as his nose twitched and he leaned down to study you.

"You had some sweet treats this mornin'?"

Shouldn't have said that, Jack.

The mild curiousity on his face first morphed into a wide-eyed grimace before a faint red coated his cheeks at your reaction.

He did not expect your shoulders to jump up and your face to grow as bright as a cherry.

Instinctively, he shot up, his hands fidgeting.

The tail that was slowly wagging at the sight of you, lowered.

"Uh, haha..."

Jack cleared his throat, followed by laughter. A tactic he doesn't use. Bluntness is usually his go-to but he knew he couldn't be direct with what he saw. He was sure you knew, too.

"...Be sure to have a proper breakfast first thing in the morning. Treats are...a-are nice. But if you want to get stronger, then you..." He trailed off but managed to finish his sentence with a small voice, scratching the back of his head. Though, he found enough strength and courage in the moment to pat your back.

"Just come to me. I have it busy in the morning too and know some quick recipes here and there...no worries."

Oh man. Your blush isn't fading.

Oh, crap, is it something he did? Was he being rash again? He thought you knew how he was, could see through him on how he really is...

Oh, damnit. Damnit.

It makes him blush too.

However, it seemed like you wanted to save yourself from the embarrassment the most. "Yeah, sorry - I mean, thanks...sorry." The words stumbled out as you briskly passed by him into the class, your head down and burning.

Jack watched you hurry, a hand close to his heart. What was that?

Ruggie Bucchi

Classes were over and you kind of regretted on coming in early.

Ace and Deuce would not leave your side. You couldn't tell if it was because of Riddle's orders or if they wanted to be extra annoying today with Ace just hanging around unusually quiet and Deuce biting your ear off with asking if you need help - in anything, really, he'd stress.

And now Jack would steal glances at you, nervous ones.

To top it all of, your first class was alchemy class with professor Crewel where you did even worse than usual - after yesterday's happenings, you thought maybe today would start out more exciting...and positive...even if you would not admit that to anyone.

It was when you were strolling through the hallway, downcast when an arm was wrapped around your shoulder.

"Heeeey, (Name)~!" A mob of dirty blonde hair appeared beside you as Ruggie landed safely from his little hop, his arm around your shoulders, close and secure. You wondered what was up but when you saw the twitch of his nose, you already knew why.

"I'm sniffin' some nice sweets there in your bag - ya know, I remember the time I did'cha a favor and-"

"Ruggie-senpai!" The blonde stopped in his tracks as his ears jumped and turned around, his arm still around you. Fellow Savanaclaw students jogged over to him, visibly distressed and out of breath. "Oh, good, the Ramshakle Prefect is with you." One wheezed, "There-There's a problem! Kinda a big one!"

Ruggie groaned.

"And I guess Leona did nothin' about it when you told him".

They shook their head. "...No...and, uh...maybe we need the Prefect too...?" He pointed at you, to which you could only raise a brow and sigh. honestly why are you even dragged into this

"Eeeehh...what'cha gonna do as Vice leader..." Ruggie feigned dissapointment and shrugged before turning to you with a wink. "Well, then, how about ya help me with this and in return I get some of yer delicious-smelling snacks, shishishi~"

Ruggie led the way with an unusal jolly punch to your shoulder and a skip in his step. He must be really looking forward to these...treats...and perhaps, you.

Leona Kingscholar

Sigh, you really didn't want to be here.

Sure enough, you were dragged by Ruggie towards the Savanaclaw dorm...their Spelldrive stadium in fact. What you found there - rather faced there was something you could not prepare for.

Another student went ahead, barged into Leona's room and ducked just in time to avoid his wrath. He knew how his dorm leader was, all did, but this one particular couldn't care about the consequences as of now...

The older male's body turned back to the bed, "You got Ruggie, didn't you? There, now scram."

"No, this is serious! Ruggie-senpai can't do anything about that, I told you! We even had to get the Ramshakle prefect!"

Leona opened one eye, deep green glaring up at the student. "What?"

"Y-yeah...in fact, it seems like it's gonna be like the beginning of last year! The prefect is gonna have to clean up Savanaclaw's mess again, is that what'chu want?! For a magicless student to ruin our reputation again cuz we couldn't-"

"Shut it."

Never had a student turn tail and skitter after Leona like this one, who had long marched out of the dorm with long strides. Once he saw the mess outside, he approached you. Fast.

"What the hell are you doing here, herbivore?" Your already jittery self jumped when Leona lightly gave your head a slap. His eyes widen when he saw you snapped your face to him, cheeks flushed a deep red.

You looked so stunned...so nervous...it was to die for.

If it weren't for the yelps of the others, he might have laughed at you.

Bodies fell asleep left and right. Ruggie advised to fly over the field with brooms after Jack fell flat on the ground, sleep-inducing smoke intoxicating him. Leona's eyes darted to a sign right in front of the field as you furiously tried to hide your burning face.

'Magic alone will not bring you far to the core - use reason, and reason alone.'

The taller male watched as his classmates were either caught in a small explosion, flying off their brooms or getting trapped in the sand itself. No one could go near the middle of the field - to which, Leona could squint out something lying there.

His gaze fell back to you.

"Hey," He started and gave your head a rough pat, "do something about it. Seems like only a magicless being can go through this field full of magical traps." Though he smirked, Leona sounded anything but amused. With another push, you were scurried towards the field - and alas, you came and went in unscathed.

When the others called for you to return, you did not react. Kneeling down in front of the object, Jack took a brave step forward (and noticed with a grin that nothing happens!) before jogging after you, alongside Ruggie and an ambling Leona. What made them stop in their tracks and their breath hitching in their throat, explained your flushed face.

'Old books for alchemy from aaall the way back to Crewel's time for you to study with! I snatched some flasks and potions to test with too, if you'd like. I also made some notes for his surprise quizzes and tests, collecting it from many students from all years, seniors and the like. Discreetly though, so don't worry.

I made it myself...so I hope it's helpful to you! I noticed that you were struggling in alchemy...and I don't mean to distract you with the things I do. I want to help you. From the bottom of my heart.

...And I vividly remember how Savanaclaw took advantage of you when they tried to cheat on the Spelldrive tournament, so I showed them a lesson. I didn't mean to bring unwanted attention to you, or call you magicless as an insult. You have so much more, you're smart, you're witty. I guess I went overboard recalling all these things.'

Your Secret Admirer

Bonus!

[mentions of past bullying and possibly bullying and harrassment happening again in Jack's and Ruggie's headcannons]

Jack

If anyone paid attention to anything but you (which was quite hard considering the...gift in your lap) one might have seen Jack's tail drop.

It was slow, as if the realization just slowly sunk into his system as he looked down at the many textbooks and you. He was as silent as a mouse, watching with wide eyes and a dry mouth.

It was only when someone let out a 'The hell is that supposed to mean?!' where the wolf jumped, briskly turned to the source of the ruckus before bending down to usher you to get up.

His hand was on your shoulder as he accompanied you to the exit. It was hesitantly above your skin, hovering above it, shakily, as if he was afriad of brushing a wrinkle of your clothes.

He'd murmur to not listen to the rest, to their confusion and shouts, to the anger that something was 'up with the Ramshakle Prefect again!' and he ushered you to hurry.

The two of you stood before the mirror, you wordlessly trying not to let all the notes and books fall from your arms. A single glance was exchanged as you attempted to hide your blush behind the papers but Jack noticed.

That embarrassed glance was all it took.

Now here you were, opening the door of your room with Jack close behind and carrying some of the books for you. This gift from your secret admirer...

Out of curiousity, his eyes would dart around the room to see if there are any other...gifts...this...couldn't be the first time, could it?

Though he found nothing, that faint aroma from today lingered on.

"...Anything else you need?" He mumbled quietly, the question almost rumbling in his throat. You shook your head and gave him your thanks. Jack watched you for a second longer before leaving.

"Don't listen to them or anyone who says anything about your..." He trailed off, eyes downcast before he looked back up to you and bid goodbye for today. Jack seemed lost in thought during the walk and for the rest of the day.

...This is real.

Jack supposes that explains your behaviour from this morning. Or Ace's and Deuce's at least...he supposes.

How odd. He didn't think something like that would happen to you.

Not that he thinks that isn't likely! Or that you don't deserve it!

It's just...you are you. He didn't think someone else would regard you so highly as well.

To Jack you are just precious. A good person who deserves a lot of good things. But that 'secret admirer' was straight up hostile to all the things Savanaclaw did to you. He couldn't blame them though, what they did and what Leona carelessly endorsed was beyond pathetic...but, damn, planning some kind of vendetta against the entire dorm? That's overkill. Surely not all students were with Leona during the tournament a year ago, right?

Lotsa students were awful to you...is that admirer gonna be like that to Octavinelle, too? not like they didn't deserve it, fishy guys

...Maybe Jack should have looked out for you better. If he wasn't so reserved, maybe this wouldn't be happening to you and the dorms. How could he have known though? He didn't feel about you back then like he does now...

Agh! Oh my god, an actual secret admirer! Is this middle school or what?!

Whatever! If that person is gonna go all mastermind over everyone who has wronged you (and there are quite a few) Jack has to stop them! All it does is ignite the anger and bullying for you all over again!

...So he might as well start looking out for you now!

Ruggie

.̑..ȗ̑ȗ̑ȗ̑ȗ̑h̑̑ȃ̑w̑̑ȃ̑w̑̑h̑̑h̑̑ȃ̑ȃ̑h̑̑?̑

...whu-whuat?

Palms on his knees, Ruggie watched bent down, the...gift in your lap.

...From...an secret admirer???

Ühew????

The longest out of the bunch to snap back into reality. The confusion was wiped from his face when Jack accompanied you back and the rest of the students verbalized their confusion and frustrations. Ruggie, of course, had to step in and calm the situation.

With a few slaps on the wrists and promises, he got some students to clean up the mess with him while Leona retreated back into his room. The mess, as daunting as it was, however was a great way to distract the hyena's mind.

During the clean-up, he barely had time to focus nor process on what the hell happened.

Savanaclaw isn't the most popular dorm, duh. You wouldn't catch him advocating for it - and most students would blame this 'prank' as Diasomnia's doing.

Nighttime came along eventually and Jack hasn't uttered a word ever since he came back. 'I'll look out for (Name).' was all he whispered to him, out of anyone's earshot.

...Yeah, right. (Name).

What, you got a prankster as a secret admirer?

Ruggie would love to laugh at that but the situation is so weirdly tense right now that he can't bring himself to laugh over spilled milk - because it isn't just 'spilled milk'.

Instead, he distracts himself with calming the students down. He doesn't feel like talking to Leona, that bum. The last thing Ruggie needs is some 'higher-than-thou', 'whatever-doesn't-concern-me' comment.

Ruggie lies in his bed and now with everything done, he has to think about you.

Was that real? Can he joke about it to you tomorrow? Wouldja turn him away? Would entertaining you make you relax?

Not like nobody is not gonna approach you because of this. Surely it's gonna be talked about in school - how Savanaclaw is a joke.

Aaaaah, damnit, he's gotta make sure none of his dorm's students are gonna harrass ya, right? Aaaah, looks like he has to postpone everything he had planned for this week.

Sure, Jack is gonna look out for you but Ruggie feels better when he has his eye on you, too. Two pair is better than one, right? At this rate, he doesn't really care if Leona's gonna scold him. He's not gonna let his dorm out of control like some wild beasts...and he's doin' it for your sake as well.

...You have an secret admirer. Somewhere, someone on this school has a gigantic, out-of-this-world crush on you. Well, he thinks, that's...possible. It...makes sense.

Someone has such a big crush on you that they hated what an dorm did to you. They'd go out of their way to act on vengeance in your name.

Ooooh boy, this uh...is something. What the hell, man? Why did you have to drag Ruggie into this?

Maybe he'd do the same if only he wasn't so sleazy. Honestly though, Ruggie doesn't even have the courage to do more than throw his arm around you and gift you a few of his leftovers...

The least he can do now...and maybe make you realize how much he cares for you...is to protect you...without wanting anything as exchange.

Leona

...What?

Oh, no. Seriously? This has to happen to him now?

Leona quickly averts his eyes from this gift before anyone could even breath out their complaints.

Once they do and Ruggie attempts to calm them down, Leona follows with narrowed eyes you and Jack leaving. He lets out a sigh before wandering off to his room, telling Ruggie to clean everything up. (Ruggie: "Seriously?!")

His students throw complaints and frustrations at him while he leaves and in return, he tells them to shut it. He has it under control.

Once in his room, and the ruckus dies down, Leona can't go back to sleep.

He lays in his bed, trying to think of nothing but can't fight the pondering and wondering. Instead he recalls back.

The 'trap' was a gift for you from an secret admirer hating Savanclaw's guts...or at least their pathetic attempt at cheating in the tournament and dragging you with them. That brat put everyone to sleep or rocketed them to the stars only to point out how 'smart~' this magicless student is, crossing the field while no one else can. Woooow.

It doesn't matter. Leona's pride was attacked.

He's not gonna let some kid insult him. Not gonna let some kid lay traps on his territory, hurt his pack. Not gonna let some kid who thinks themselves high and mighty steal your heart.

How impressionable could you be, letting yourself be swooned by someone like that? Someone who can't even tell you directly that they like you? Through some flowery language and letters and gifts? Childish.

...Do they think themselves better than Leona?

Ugh, he does not want to deal with this. This isn't his problem, it's yours. Let Ruggie calm down the pack and let you deal with the rest, it has nothing to do with him.

But if he falters now, he will be seen as weak. Words are gonna spread like the wind here and he can't have a certain dragon fae be mocking him...

Mocking him about letting this happen...how someone much more charming, more caring, more loving, more emotional, more honest could be winning your heart, while you wouldn't spare a second glance at Leona...

...God, this is stupid.

For once, he does something about it. Mostly because he can't fall asleep anymore.

(haha, if you noticed I summarized all in the bonus headcannons...its easier...

watch me suddenly be wrapped by ideas for jack...a little bit for ruggie...and notice i got nothin for leona 乁(ツ)∫....guys, he isnt cool hes just mean...ಠ-ಠ)

(also, idea for a direction for this series! admirer is a bit...mhhmm, petty...especially antagonistc towards the ppl who gave you a bad time...and who did more than EVERY SINGLE DORM LEADER???)

(also tried to bring in the guys from last time, cant assure itll always be like this though...thatsa...lotta guys...like 22 of em)

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst scenarios #twst #savanaclaw #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #secret admirer #twst x reader #gender neutral reader #reader insert #gender neutral imagine #twst headcanons #twst secret admirer

[mixelation]

i wrote more reborn au. it is the situation described previously when tori has a non-team 4 mission go awry

i might change the timeline a little, but for now: tori is 16, and she has an official position in R&D so she takes fewer out of village missions. i might change it later but she gives her rank as tokubetsu jounin, because my interpretation of this rank is that you have some sort of high-value jounin-level skill (like fuinjutsu) but your OVERALL skills aren't really jounin level. so she got promoted hella fast after making chunin, but she gets stuck at this rank a while whereas itachi and deidara get to full jounin like immediately lmao. also she and itachi have been fake-dating a few months, but that's not relevant to the following

uuh also this has some stuff that i feel like doesn't punch as hard as it should without context to foreshadow it, so apologizes if some details seem to come out of nowhere???

--

The mission started off uncomfortable and it didn’t get much better. 

The premise was this: a research team had tracked some rare scrolls all the way into the boonies of a tiny jungle territory between Fire Country and Water Country, which had historically been traded back and forth between both countries but was currently maintaining its status as an independent state after the fallout of the Third Shinobi War. It had no native ninja clans, but enough powers had occupied it that both Kiri and Konoha occasionally sent in probes to figure out if there were any leftover ninja-related valuables. 

The idea was that a ninja village had the rights to ninja materials, even if they’d both technically agreed not to interfere with the tiny nation. Tori understood everyone in her life just accepted this as a morally neutral fact of the world and elected not to analyze it further for her own sanity. It wasn’t like she wasn’t ready and willing to forego her own ethical framework when it was convenient. 

So the research team had followed some local leads to unearth an ancient and abandoned shinobi stronghold of unknown origin, but had been blocked from accessing it because the fuuinjutsu protecting it was so old no one on the team could figure out how to break it. This was how Tori was chosen for the back-up team Minato was sending in: if you wanted someone to disentangle an unknown and strange set of seals quickly and without damaging the surrounding structure, Tori was your girl. There simply wasn’t anyone else as good except Kushina herself, and Kushina had way more in-village responsibilities.  

The risk of spending a long time at this location was that Kiri would inevitably notice and send their own team in, and then even if they avoided an outright conflict, Konoha risked Kiri running off with the scrolls or whatever other treasures happened to be in the stronghold, if any. This was how the rest of the Tori’s team was picked: combat ninja for back-up. 

“Oh, this is the most fun part about being a fuinjutsu specialist, you know,” Kushina had told her, when she’d gone over to pick up fuinjutsu supplies from her office. “You get sent on all sorts of weird missions to all sorts of places, and work with all sorts of people!”

Kushina was… maybe more social and likable than Tori. Kushina could make friends with a rock. Tori, in contrast, somehow started a feud with half the people she met. 

It started with some weird comments. Tori pulled a bottle of insect repellant out of a storage seal during one of their breaks on the first day, and her teammate made a snide remark about Tori living a life of luxury. 

“...do you want some?” Tori offered. 

She was literally just using a store-bought spray in a standard-design storage scroll. Kushina had told her off more than once for over-relying on storage scrolls which could be easily stolen or destroyed or lost, but she’d seen other shinobi do this. She’d seen their captain do this, earlier. This was normal behavior. 

The weird comments continued from the same teammate, who was a rank-and-file jounin with no additional titles. Mostly they were jabs at her main designation being R&D: surprise she could clean fish, condescendingly assuring her she wouldn’t have to fight and risk chipping a nail. The comments got an occasional snicker from other ninja, but they weren’t overtly hostile and definitely not as mean as whatever the fuck Itachi might say just in friendly conversation. She gritted her teeth and beared it. 

The guy was only like nineteen or twenty. Tori wasn’t sure what his problem with her was, since he was pretty young for a jounin and couldn’t be so untalented that it would make sense for him to have a chip on his shoulder, but also he was young enough that maybe he just hadn’t matured very much yet. Or maybe it was just that she was even younger and already a tokubetsu jounin and– gasp!– a woman. People generally highly praised Deidara and Itachi for making jounin so young, but their talents were generally more obvious, and also they were men. Shinobi were less sexist than the surrounding civilian attitudes toward women, but the misogyny still crept into their culture. Sometimes some men just got upset when women were smarter or stronger or higher ranked than them. Even Kushina occasionally got pushback. 

(Not that no one ever acted jealous or insane to Itachi or Deidara– it was just that they got it less often, and people rarely acted like that twice, because both boys were nightmare people.)

So she ignored her teammate and didn’t think much of it. Sometimes people were just assholes. In Oto or in Akatsuki, this might have led to him doing something unspeakably horrible to her, but this was Konoha. Konoha ninja could be petty and mean and jaded, but they didn’t do that. 

Tori hadn’t gotten to go into the jungles of this world often, and her mood did brighten even as the weather got hotter and more humid and they had to slow down as the foliage got denser. She liked seeing the shift in trees from Hashirama trees to broad-leafed jungle trees, seeing strangler figs and hearing tree frogs and finding the prints of a large cat. She even found delight in the presence of native giant leeches they also imported to their Forest of Death.

“The anticoagulants they excrete actually have a lot of medical applications,” she said cheerfully, poking one gently with a stick. They could also kill you if you let one attach for too long. 

“Uh, okay,” said their captain. “Keep on task.”

“When you let a researcher out of the lab,” another teammate joked to the one who kept ragging on her. Tori rolled her eyes. 

It took almost an entire week to get to the stronghold. During this time, the teammate that was ragging on her got both the other ninja with them to also start on the same sort of stupid jokes. Tori pulled a branch off a squat little tree and offered it to the teammate who’d started it all. 

“Here, it’s an insect repellent,” she said, smiling as sweetly as she could. “Since you forgot to bring yours.”

For some reason, this just made the teammate meaner. By the time they researched the stronghold, she was getting accusations that she was only here due to favoritism from the fucking Hokage. 

“On task,” the captain sighed, having also laughed at a couple of the jokes. 

Whatever, Tori thought. 

The lead of the research team, at least, didn’t even blink when he saw her. He was technically part of R&D. She had a reputation there. 

The stronghold was a small, stone building overgrown with strangler figs. The research team had already removed the foliage from the entrance and revealed the seal protecting it, which probably saved at least half a day’s work. Still, the fuinjutsu on it was a mess, and it took Tori a couple hours to disentangle what was even going on. 

The research leader bounced his knee in anticipation the entire time. Apparently they’d found evidence the night before of other shinobi in the area, and they were afraid Kiri could show up at any moment. 

“Can’t you do that faster?” Tori’s captain asked as she made notes on her own scroll. 

“Not unless you want me to risk blowing it up,” Tori replied. 

“Well, try harder,” he said.

She wondered, vaguely, if he would have this attitude towards her if he hadn’t spent a whole week listening to someone make demeaning comments about her. Maybe she should have tried to nip that in the bud sooner? Usually she’d prefer an opponent underestimating her, but these were people she needed to trust her skills… she’d promised herself to stop thinking of everyone she met as an enemy until proven otherwise. 

Well, whatever. The nice thing about her boss being a fuinjutsu master was that if this captain tried to report on her being too slow, Minato would put him straight immediately. 

She got the seal off in record time. Instead of opening into the little building, the door led to a staircase that went straight down into the earth. Tori held back a comment about Oto also being arranged like this. She didn’t need to remind her asshole teammate that she was a foreigner on top of whatever he didn’t like about her. 

“Great,” the research lead sighed. 

The next several days were spent exploring the tunnels that turned out to be underneath the building. They were carved out by an underground river, which still flowed through the main passages. The remains of wooden walkways over it were still apparent, but the structure had largely rotted away and they were forced to walk on the walls or the river itself. There were more fuinjutsu-covered doors leading to narrow rooms and more fucking stairways down, in a confusing labyrinth of passages that mostly held nothing of value. 

The combat team was roped into searching the tunnels in order to cover more area quickly, since there was the ongoing anxiety that Kiri could show up any minute. They all seemed bored by the slow progress of Tori opening up new passageways only for no one to find anything but rotting wood furniture and, once, some old and useless cookware. Tori was having fun, at least. Whoever had set up the security seals must have been high when they did it. 

Then everything went to shit all at once. 

Tori was taking her lunch break, squatting in the corner of an empty room and eating a protein bar, when her asshole teammate showed up to report he’d found another fuinjutsu-covered door. Many of the rooms had puddles from the river leaking through cracks, and the jounin rushed in so quickly he didn’t even bother water-walking over them. 

The door he’d found was different from the rest, with an ornately carved stone door frame. It also wasn’t wood like the rest had been, held together against time by fuinjutsu. This door was a solid block of rock, a giant disc on the side of the door frame. 

“I bet Hokage-sama will give us a bonus if we’re the ones who find the scrolls,” he said, his excitement obvious as Tori poked at the door. “They do that for object recovery, right?”

“I think that’s only if you find something that wasn’t a part of the mission parameters,” Tori replied, taking a step back to squint at the full seal. There wasn’t a universal pattern to them, but she was getting pretty quick about identifying and then dismantling the relevant parts. 

“Pft, what do you know,” her teammate replied, kicking at a puddle. 

“No offense,” Tori started, pulling out her brush and a jar of ink, “but what is your problem with me?”

Her teammate didn’t answer, watching her paint very carefully over the seal. The stone wheel that made up the door groaned and slowly rolled aside. 

The room inside was definitely different from the rest. The back wall was nothing but running water, held in place by more fuinjutsu that formed a gently glowing web of chakra over it. There was also actual decoration on the exposed stone walls, carved and then painted in. In the center of the room was a stone pedestal with an obvious scroll box. 

Tori’s teammate was obnoxious, but he was still a jounin and not an idiot. He waited for Tori to flick chakra-infused ink into the room and then perform a jutsu to check for traps. 

The room itself was safe. The problem was that the pedestal was obviously boobytrapped. 

“Can you undo it?” her teammate asked, peering at the box. It matched the description the research team had. 

It was hard to reveal the seals on the pedestal and take a look. They were, in fact, more insane than what was on all the doors. Unlike the doors, these were meant to be somewhat permanent, not meant for anyone but the sealmaster who made them to take off. 

“It’s… going to take some time,” Tori said cautiously. “But, shit, this array itself is probably valuable.”

She pointed to how it scattered down the pedestal to the river wall and then up and across the ceiling in a nonstandard shape. If it were disrupted, the seal holding the water back would break, immediately flooding the room. At the same time, the bit on the ceiling would collapse… something. Either the ceiling itself or wall with the exit. 

There was a mechanism also holding the box in place and locked shut, so no random person would be able to move it or open it and then accidentally set off the trap. Breaking that part of the seal wouldn’t be any more difficult than the doors, but Tori would need some time to figure out how to disentangle this mechanism from the deathtrap so they didn’t set it off and could remove the scrolls safely. 

“Alright,” the jounin said at length. “But you have to make it clear I’m the one who found it.”

Tori really, really didn’t think this mattered, but before they could decide what exactly to do, two strangers walked into the room. They were both wearing Kiri headbands. 

“Are you kidding me?” the jounin said, stepping between Tori and the Kiri-nin and drawing a kunai. 

She hadn’t noticed it over the rush of the river in front of them, but now that Tori was concentrating, she could hear the shouts of a fight outside. 

“Oh nice, you found it for us,” one of the Kiri said. Both had swords drawn. Tori drew her own kunai and shifted into a fight-ready stance. 

“Surely there’s a diplomatic solution to this,” she tried. 

“Oops, too late,” the other Kiri-nin answered, flashing teeth at her. 

Tori’s jounin teammate took a step back and whispered out of the corner of his mouth: “I’ll engage them. Get the box off.”

“But–” Tori started.

Behind his back, he signed that they’d flash step out. Tori nodded slowly. It was risky, and she wasn’t sure she could flash step quickly enough to not get caught in the trap, but a really good jounin could. 

This was the best part of Konoha, she thought. Even assholes had your back. 

One of the Kiri-nin chucked a handful of kunai at them, and Tori fully turned to back to face the seal on the pedestal. She heard the clink of her teammate batting the blades out of the air with his sword. Yes, even this guy had her back, no questions asked. 

She barely watched the fight as she concentrated on her own work. Her teammate was a good fighter, and he managed to counter both ninja while also keeping any attacks from hitting her. It only took a few minutes for him to kill one of the Kiri-nin, after which the second backed off and tried more mid-range attacks. 

“Got it,” Tori finally announced. Her teammate pounced on the Kiri-nin, plunging the sword into her. 

“Do it,” he told Tori, turning to her with the wild eyes of man high on his own bloodlust. 

“As soon as I release it, the seal–” Tori started to warn.

The Kiri-nin he’d left crumpled in the corner groaned and rolled onto her feet unsteadily, still alive. 

“It’s okay, I got you,” her teammate said, wrapping an arm around her waist. “The faster we move, the faster we can back-up our teammates.”

“Right,” Tori agreed, poising her paintbrush. “On the count of three.”

What happened next was such a slimy move that it completely blindsided Tori, even if it shouldn’t have. Training herself to no longer assume that people were just going to screw her over for no reason had been a bad idea, it turned out. 

She called one as she made the last of her brush strokes. Her mouth started on the syllable, and the jounin adjusted his grip on her so his hand was around the supply pack at the small of her back. He leaned over and put his hand over the box, his grip adjusted wide enough to wrap the last joints of his fingers over the top. This would be a weird as fuck hold for a joint flash step, but Tori didn’t give it a second thought. He just moved to put his hand on the box. That was their mission. 

And then he flash stepped through the rubble suddenly raining down on them, taking the box and Tori’s pack with him, leaving Tori behind to be knocked over by the sudden wave of water. 

The first few moments of the room flooding were chaos. Part of the ceiling and the entire wall collapsed, and debris hit her shoulder and legs as the water battered her around. 

It calmed eventually, with the water only waist deep. Tori spat out water and fumbled for one of the glow sticks in her weapons pack. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” the wounded Kiri-nin asked when Tori lit up the room. “Holy shit, did he leave you on purpose?”

Tori bit her lip. Yes, he totally had. What the fuck. Konoha ninja weren’t supposed to be like this. 

When Tori didn’t respond, the Kiri-nin wrote her off and started yelling at the collapsed wall for help. There was no evidence anyone heard her at all. 

The good news was that the river wasn’t rushing in. Its source must have also partially collapsed, leaving the river at a small trickle. 

“The water had a way out,” Tori announced, wading toward the back wall. “Maybe we can…”

She tried diving. When she found nothing, the Kiri-nin also tried. The exit the water had been taking before was completely sealed off. 

“Oooh, we’re fucked,” the Kiri-nin sighed. “What the fuck was your friend’s plan?”

“I don’t…” Tori started. He should have taken her with him. It was well within his abilities. He’d told her. 

He’d also taken her travel pack with all her fuinjutsu supplies. She still had some kunai and shuriken and a flare and a couple glow sticks in her weapons pack, but those would hardly help. She had a few scrolls still on her, but none of those were going to get her out. 

The water was getting higher. Tori found she was shaking. Konoha ninja weren’t supposed to do this. 

Old Tori had been physically weaker, but she hadn’t been this gullible, this stupid. She hadn’t been able to afford it. 

“I-I can stop the water,” Tori told the Kiri-nin, embarrassed that her voice sounded like she was on the brink of tears. 

The Kiri-nin eyed her with something that was either pity or disgust or both. 

“Is this your first life or death mission, little girl?” she asked. 

Tori let out a hysterical laugh. No, actually, she should have anticipated this happening from the first weird comment. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“I’m sixteen,” Tori said. “They’ve sent me into worse.”

She said this more to remind herself. She’d survived worse. She’d just been an idiot, thinking she’d finally been in a position to trust people. 

The Kiri-nin snorted. 

“Whatever, Konoha. Don’t stop the water yet. That might be the only way out.”

The Kiri-nin performed a series of water jutsu, meant to scope out the walls and floor and ceiling and find any gaps they could take advantage of, either to drain the water or send a message for help or get out. It would make sense if the person who set up the trap also left a way to get out, rather, let themselves back in to retrieve their scrolls. 

Tori wondered if the Kiri-nin would actually help her if she identified a way out, or if she’d also spitefully leave her for dead. How sad would it be, if she was betrayed by her own comrade and saved by a random Kiri-nin?

Tori didn’t get to find out the answer to the question, because the Kiri-nin didn’t find anything. If there was a way back in, it wasn’t accessible from the inside. The Kiri-nin leaned back against a wall, panting with exertion and holding her side where Tori’s teammate had stabbed her. 

“I’m a medic,” Tori offered. Her medical supplies were off with her treasonous teammate, but she could still do some chakra-based stuff.

“Shut up,” the Kiri-nin groaned. “Okay, I’m going to dive again and try to get out through the river’s entrance.”

“You sure you don’t want me to at least stop the bleeding–”

“Shut up.”

The Kiri-nin dived. When she didn’t come back for a very long time, Tori waded over to the river’s entrance and attempted diving herself. 

There wasn’t an opening big enough to fit her body through. Instead, she found the Kiri-nin’s body with her arm wedged into a crevice that must have collapsed further when she stuck her arm in. Tori couldn’t dislodge it to try and drag the woman back to the surface. She was dead, anyway.

Tori pulled one of her remaining scrolls from her vest and set up a barrier to block the influx of water. It was now up to her chest. 

Then she pulled herself up to sit on top of the water and very quietly freaked out. 

It wasn’t being trapped in a sealed room with two dead Kiri-nin that freaked her out, exactly. It wasn’t even that she had no idea if any of her teammates outside were alive or aware she needed help. It wasn’t even necessarily that her teammate had seemingly turned on her for stupid reasons. 

It was that she had gone out of her way to assume an asshole was just an asshole, that Konoha ninja were the exception to the rule she’d learned through both her shitty lives, like an idiot. It stung, worse than she would have thought it would. 

Her barrier eventually ran out of chakra, and as she watched it flicker and die, a horrible thought struck Tori. 

No one was going to come help her, because her teammate was not going to report her as alive but trapped. He was going to report her as definitively dead, because there was no way he’d let her be seen alive to tell her side of the story. 

Maybe, once they got back to Konoha and formally reported her KIA, Minato would send someone for her body. They usually only did that for people with stealable bloodline limits, but Kushina would probably push for it. Or maybe, if the rest of the team was all killed by Kiri or otherwise too injured to go back themselves, Minato would eventually send someone to check up on them. Neither scenario was a timeline where Tori would still be alive if she stayed in here. 

In the best case scenario, her team beat off the Kiri-nin, and then someone came looking for her. The asshole teammate would protest, would insist she was dead in a collapsed and inaccessible room, but maybe someone would insist on retrieving her body. 

It seemed unlikely. She’d already been too charitable with her assessment of this team. None of them were coming for her. 

She had two more scrolls with barriers to hold back the water slowly seeping in. Neither of them had enough chakra to last more than a couple hours, but she could recharge them a few times with her own chakra, although without food, chakra would become a finite resource. She had maybe a day before she drowned using just these tools. 

She could make a seal, of course. Her teammate had taken her supplies, and the ink and brush she’d had out before we lost in the flood, but she still had a body full of blood and plenty of surfaces to draw on. It wouldn’t be easy or neat, since blood required different calculations and wet, uneven rocks would be hard to draw on, but she could do it. 

 Her first idea was to tap into one of her storage dimensions. She had some food squirreled away in one, and some fuinjutsu supplies in another. The one she’d stuck a bunch of spare camping supplies in probably even had a better light source. 

Okay, Tori decided, standing on the water, here I go. 

xXx

Two days passed, and no one came for her. With food and fuinjutsu supplies, she’d been able to wrap a double barrier around the main source of water, but it must have been slowly seeping in from somewhere else too because the water level was still slowly rising. She could no longer stand fully on the water surface, and she’d had no good way to sleep. 

She tried a controlled explosion on the wall she knew led to an open passage, but instead she’d just collapsed more of the room. There must not have been anything above her but more earth. 

The explosion had also shaken the Kiri-nin’s body loose, and Tori didn’t really have anywhere to put it, so she was just… floating. 

Tori’s new plan was to get a message to Konoha. Maybe a regular team wouldn’t get to her in time, but Minato could. She wasn’t sure he would, but… 

She struggled to cling to this hope, even though it turned out trust was a lie and Konoha-nin were the types to just fuck you over for no reason. 

Tori didn’t really have a good way to send a message herself. Between Itachi’s crows and Deidara’s animated clay, they’d always taken care of it when she’d been on a regular team. She’d never had a need to invent her own way. She stuck some messages into storage dimensions she knew Kushina also had the key to, but she wasn’t sure why Kushina would check them unless she knew Tori was in danger. 

Which she wouldn’t know, because Tori’s teammate was an asshole. 

She did know a couple time-space jutsu, but those were notoriously difficult, and she didn’t know any that wouldn’t require another person. She wasn’t even sure any solo ones existed, besides the Hiraishin, because usually you at least needed a receiver. 

Tori ran option after option through her brain. She didn’t know shit about summoning jutsu, which would be super useful in this situation if not just for the ability to reverse summon. Could she logic her way through how they must work and then reverse engineer it…?

No, she’d have better luck reverse engineering the Hiraishin. At least she knew some of the theory behind that one. 

Sitting on the water, the top of her head brushed the ceiling. Or maybe she should focus on making a full-wall seal to keep the water out. That she was at least positive she could do. But that would take so much time… 

Tori stuck her head between her knees and willed herself not to cry. She still felt so fucking stupid, and the lack of sleep and floating corpse weren’t helping. Of course she shouldn't have trusted the guy who was making fun of her the whole time. Of course, of course, stupid, stupid, stupid.

She mentally flipped through everything she knew about time-space jutsu, feeling hysterical. She’d tried the Hiraishin before, and nothing had even happened because only two people in the world had ever managed it. Even with entire villages trying to beat it during the war, no one had even come close. It would be deeply stupid and arrogant of her to push forward assuming she could accomplish what entire teams of more experienced shinobi had failed to do. 

She was developing a crick in her neck from being bent forward as she approached the ceiling, so she laid down on her back. All her clothes were already wet regardless. 

Except, she had spent a lot of time thinking deep thoughts about the Hiraishin, because, well, it didn’t make sense no one had been able to copy it. Minato had left seals all over the place. No one had even been able to figure out how to undo them without removing the entire object the seal was on; it was why Iwa had been so terrified of them sneaking even one in. 

The markers are only a guide for the actual jutsu, Minato had said when she’d asked, and then when she’d asked again and again, Only I can use them, because only I have my chakra. 

But why couldn’t someone else use his chakra? She just couldn’t shove this explanation into her understanding of how space-time jutsu worked. Most of them worked using another user as a receiver on the other end, or else by using multiple people to throw something to a receiving array, and none of them worried about chakra incompatibilities. Tori had been considering using a fucking tree as a receiver, if she’d had the foresight to set up a tree-powered seal to be her receiver. And why the fuck hadn’t she done that, if she’d thought about it so much? How had she never anticipated being trapped with no hope of back-up? Old Tori would have never. Stupid, stupid, stupid–

Actually, Tori thought, sitting up on her elbows. Hiraishin wasn’t receiver-less, was it? Minato just did both jutsu on one end but somehow the marker anchored the receiving jutsu, somehow slingshotting him through space. Or at least that was the only way Tori could conceptualize it possibly working. You could, in theory, use an already active seal as an unmanned receiver; it was just that you needed to be really, insanely good to make a seal that complex that could stay active for long periods of time. That was why Tori’s idea had used a tree’s chakra to power the receiving end. But if you just had, like, some sort of tiny, self-sustaining guide for your receiver jutsu….? That was probably why it had to be Minato’s own chakra. 

Tori had no idea how to simultaneously do two jutsu and also do them so lightning fast it was basically instantaneous from having the thought to teleporting, the way Minato did. But why couldn’t she include both in a seal, with one of his markers as the anchor? At the end of the day, Tori had taught herself to use fuinjutsu almost entirely with other people’s chakra. Her original concept she’d been working on (but never tested, like an idiot) had been based around a goddamn tree. She’d done extensive testing on how chakra from different sources varied and how to optimize jutsu to it. She could totally hijack one of Minato’s seals. 

She was worryingly close to the ceiling now, even flat on her back. She drew a copy of a Hiraishin marker and then got to work painting a combination send-and-receive transport seal around it. 

xXx

Tori found herself on a dark forest floor, gasping for breath. She had no idea where she was, but at least she was no longer under fucking water. Pine needles poked into her back as she collapsed, staring up into the canopy. The trees had spindly arms and the full moon peeked through. 

The forest was still and quiet. Tori was working very hard on not hyperventilating. 

I’m alive, she promised herself. I’m breathing. 

Her body was shaking from adrenaline. She’d gotten a working seal painted in time, even if she’d had a hell of a time activating it. She was fine. She was alive. 

She got about three seconds of time to lay there and breathe before Minato was suddenly on top of her, a rasengan waving in her face. Tori shrieked. 

“It’s me, it’s me!” she screeched. The rasengan, being made mostly of chakra, gave off its own weak light, and Minato’s face was dead-serious as he commanded that she give various identifying codes to confirm her identity. Tori’s brain was already scattered and panicked from barely escaping drowning, and her answers came out garbled. Finally she yammered, “Who else would be hijacking your seals?”

Minato was quiet for a few moments, and then he released the rasengan. Rather than reabsorb the chakra, he let it spiral out in a gust of wind that made Tori shiver. 

Minato stood. He was in his pajamas, and one knee was damp from where he’d been kneeling on her stomach. He offered her a hand. In the moonlight, his face looked weary. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked, sounding exhausted. “Report.”

The phrasing of the command meant that even if he was in his pajamas, he was talking to her as Hokage right now. Tori did her best to straighten up and explain herself like she would for a mission or a lab experiment gone wrong, but her story quickly turned into an upset ramble. 

She didn’t know if her team was alive. She wasn’t even sure how much time had passed. Her teammate had been an asshole to her and she’d ignored it but she shouldn’t have because that was her clue she shouldn’t have trusted him with shit– 

“How did you get here?” MInato cut her off. His voice was barely restrained emotion, stress and anger. Tori felt almost taken aback. She’d thought he’d care more than she nearly died. 

She felt stupid that she was this upset over a bunch of nobodies leaving her for dead, about being this incoherent over almost dying. Wasn’t she tougher than this? Why did Minato being mad at her make her want to cry?

She walked him through the logic of her escape efforts. If Minato had any personal thoughts on her initial attempts or her aside that the Kiri-nin’s body had just been hanging out, he didn’t show them. His eyebrows did raise higher and higher as she described her eventual solution to her predicament. 

“You just came up with that?” he asked. She couldn’t tell if he was dumbfounded or furious. 

Maybe this will be when they decide I’m too dangerous and kill me, Tori thought. She’d thought she’d been safe from this inevitability, but maybe not. 

“Well,” Tori replied slowly. The fact that no one could hijack his seals had been bugging her for years. He knew this, because his and Kushina’s own dismissive attitudes were why she’d been stuck on it. He knew this about her. She shouldn’t have to lie and back off. “I’ve been mulling it over, and I thrive under stress.”

Minato sighed loudly. He still seemed tense, but he wasn’t exactly angry, she didn’t think. 

“We need to destroy it, even if you think the passage is inaccessible,” Minato told her. “Tori, I cannot stress how dangerous it is to leave evidence–” He cut himself off, frowning. “Shit, I can access it.”

And then he was gone. Tori shifted awkwardly, peering around her. She definitely wasn’t anywhere near Konoha. The amount of pine meant she’d probably ended up way further north, although she didn’t have enough light to be identifying exact species to narrow it down much further than that. How the hell did Minato aim this thing?

Tori was soaked, and the forest was colder than a Fire Country night. She shivered and peeled off her outer layer, wringing it out. A few minutes later, Minato returned, now also wet. 

“Good news is, I destroyed it for you,” he told her. He still sounded stressed, but there was a hint of relief in there. “So that problem, at the very least, has been resolved.”

Minato was not mad at her for breaking his jutsu, per se, but everything about his body language was deeply tense. He banned her from ever drawing it up again without his direct supervision, or even mentioning the idea of it to anyone. Now that Tori wasn’t afraid of dying alone in a cave, it occurred to her that Minato had hundreds of his seals in Konoha. Tens of them were in his house alone. One was in the Kyuubi’s seal. If an enemy could do what Tori just did, they were all fucked. 

Tori was very certain no one else on the planet could do what she did in this very specific regard, including Minato himself. But perhaps a motivated person could copy her, or an informed person could follow her line of research to figure it out themselves. 

“Okay,” Minato finished his very long list of commands on things she was never even to think about doing again. He took a deep breath. “Now we can move on to the other problem. Your teammate did what?”

She walked him through the story again, and was relieved that she seemed too tired to cry. That asshole wasn’t worth her tears, although she still felt deeply stupid and almost embarrassed as she described what happened to Minato. She felt like a whiny kid recalling the passive aggressive comments, and then like a moron when she described trusting his plan. 

When she was done, Minato said very slowly, “I want you to understand that I believe you, Tori. However, as Hokage, I will have to do an investigation before making any decisions.”

Tori frowned. “So no one sent a message?”

Minato raised an eyebrow. “Tori, you beat any message they could get to me.”

That seemed wrong, as Tori had also had this whole upsetting detour where she’d nearly drowned in an underground room. 

“Okay,” Tori replied dully. “What do you want me to do?”

If he made her go back to her mission, she was going to throw a fit. Instead, he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“You successfully completed your assigned part of the mission,” he said. “And, as much as you scared me, I’m really glad you didn’t die. I think you should get some rest.”

He brought her to his home. Tori had not seen full light in days, and even the kitchen overhead light made her squint and blink rapidly when he switched it on. 

“I want to hear what they report before they know you made it back alive,” he told her in a hushed tone. “So lay low and hang out here a few days.”

Tori squinted at him. “That’s pretty mean,” she assessed. “I like it.”

She wasn’t sure how he would treat this situation if it happened to another shinobi. Certainly he wouldn’t let most people stay in his home; they didn’t exactly have a revolving door of house guests. It made her feel better, she thought as she showered off in the guest bathroom, to be reminded someone did value her as more than a tool or an obstacle. 

Even if he commented about the mission first, her brain reminded her traitorously. 

When she stepped out of the bathroom, a set of women’s pajamas had appeared neatly-folded on the guest bed. They were almost definitely Kushina’s, and given Kushina was significantly taller than her, fit comfortably loose. Tori stepped out of the guest bedroom to find Kushina angrily chopping vegetables in the kitchen. 

“It’s 2 AM,” Tori told her. “What are you doing?”

Kushina paused, sticking her bottom lip out at Tori. She was wearing a baggy shirt that came down to mid-thigh and her hair was braided back and wrapped for sleep. Tori barely had time to react before she was in a hug. 

“I’m working out my feelings in a productive way,” Kushina said, releasing her. “Besides, you need to eat.”

Tori did not want to admit she wanted a longer hug. Instead, she persuaded Kushina to let her eat cup ramen instead of the full course meal Kushina appeared to be preparing to make. Kushina did insist she felt better chopping things up and she was only saving herself time doing it later for dinner, so Tori sat at the table and listened to the rhythmic sound of Kushina taking out her anger on some carrots. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Kushina insisted more than once. Minato might have told her the basics to explain Tori’s presence, but surely Kushina didn’t know all the details of Tori’s mission. She was in no place to know if Tori had actually done anything wrong or not. Still, sometimes Kushina’s blind faith was reassuring. 

“Thanks for the PJs,” Tori told her before escaping to bed. 

She’d never stayed overnight in the Uzumaki-Namikaze house. She’d only ever seen the guest bedroom to dump her coat off before a party. But the bed was comfortable and had a thick comforter, and she found herself bone-tired. She fell asleep immediately.

#reborn au #my writing #this is almost 7k making it TWICE as long as i wanted it to be. why

[lorre-verie]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐡. 𝟏 ࿐ྂ

summary: metkayinan! reader who is expected to become the next olo’eyktan but wishes nothing more than to shed their responsibilities and simply run away from all their problems meets the sully family. they speak of them in defense in front of their people, catching the attention of a certain omaticayan boy.

word count: 5k words

pairings: neteyam x gn! ao'nung's older twin! reader

basically:  - reader is the oldest child of ronal and tonowari by a few seconds (fraternal twins w/ ao'nung, you can imagine yourself however you like) - No idea how old tsireya actually is so i'm saying shes 1 year younger than reader and ao’nung for the sake of my sanity - Take a shot everytime you see the word “you” or “your”

warnings: literally 90% no neteyam in this part because this is like the backstory of the reader’s life. parents being overbearing per usual, feeling guilty for putting yourself over others, literally nothing else idk

dictionary: 

tsaheylu: the bond/neural connection made between two beings gill mantle: the creature that provides the ability to respire underwater (given to Neytiri by Kiri when they were swimming out of the sunken ship) marui: the tents the na’vi live in Tree of Souls: the tree that is said to be the closest connection to Eywa on Pandora (the tree that helped Jake transfer into his avatar body permanently) irayo: "thank you" in the na'vi language

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | masterlist

Both you and your twin brother Ao’nung had been considered blessed gifts from Eywa ever since the day you both were born.

at least that's what every elder in Awa’atlu said to the both of you, for as long as you two could remember. The first twins in the Metkayina clan to have been born for hundreds of years, they emphasised.

Since you were just children, it had already been clear to the whole village that you and Ao’nung were far more talented than other kids, and your parents, especially your father, were extremely proud of the both of you for that reason, his chest always puffing out more than usual and lips turned into a smile whenever someone complimented his children in front of him.

At the age of 7, you both were skilled at using your spears, having amazingly swift reaction time and swimming at speeds comparable to other na’vi 2 times your age. Everyone around you would always whisper in awe of both of your talents, always speaking highly of both of you equally, since you were on par with one another.

But despite how similar you both were in talent and intelligence, it was clear which one of you had the heart of a leader. 

You were always one step ahead of Ao’nung, especially in the literal sense, protecting him and guiding him through the waters, teaching him to do things that you learned first. And whenever you played with the other children and a fight ensued, you always were quick to find the way to a peaceful solution.

Your parents noticed this of course, and they quickly started talking about you becoming the future olo’eyktan during family dinners, which at first you had no opposition to, instead beaming at the prospect of becoming a leader for your brothers and sisters. 

But inevitably throughout the years you grew tired. Tired of your mother always nagging you about looking presentable even if you were only going for a walk along the shore, tired of your father always expecting nothing less than exceptional from you, tired of everyone around you always asking for assistance in everyday tasks and being the person that they looked for when disagreements started.

Of course, you loved your family and your people. But it truly drained you to put their needs over your own. You had no time to enjoy the feeling of the water brushing against your skin, to take in the beauty of Pandora’s waters and the underwater creatures that Eywa created. 

Your siblings Ao’nung and Tsireya, despite having their own expectations from your parents, were still always able to have fun and enjoy the waters and make close friends that they could trust and talk to, while you were stuck helping the elderly and the young. 

But every time you thought of rejecting helping others it always hurt you inside, because what were you doing thinking like that? You were the future olo’eyktan, you couldn’t not help your people, right?

It wasn’t like you didn’t have the ability to help, you were very much capable, so everytime you had the thought to say no, you pushed it far away in the back of your mind, thinking you were selfish for even coming up with such an absurd idea.

But one morning when you were 13, you finally had quite enough of having to endure all your responsibilities. So you did what every other pubescent teenager would do; you formed an escape plan.

In the bright and early morning when you know absolutely nobody would be awake, you snuck past your parents and siblings while they slept, going out of your family’s marui, asking for forgiveness from Eywa with every step you took.

But you didn’t regret it, not for a second. Once you were far enough from all the marui, you ran to one of the shores farthest from the centre of the island. At last, you were able to really feel the sand between your toes and take a deep breath of the salty air. 

It smelled of the ocean, you thought, while closing your eyes and outstretching your arms, your smile so big it hurt. You walked along the beach a little while longer, relishing in your extremely rare moment of freedom and alone time. 

Until you heard the morning horn sound. Your smile instantly disappeared, realising that soon people would be up and about and that you would have to return to your duties. 

No, your heart said. I don’t want to. And for once, your brain didn’t tell you to go back. It didn’t say you were being selfish.

Instead, your heart rate went faster, every beat against your chest urging you to run. So you disappeared in the glittering water before anyone could see, swimming away while being careful to not be seen and only coming up for air behind rocks. 

You didn’t know where you were swimming, you just wanted to be somewhere that wasn’t surrounded by other na’vi constantly asking for help right after you were done assisting another. 

Through tsaheylu, you attached a gill mantle to your back, allowing you to breathe under the water. Since you didn’t need to resurface for a while, you swam at your own pace, enjoying the colourful sea life that surrounded you.

The coldness on your skin was refreshing, you could finally enjoy the feeling of swimming deep into the water without bringing a spear to hunt fish. You glided through the water, closing your eyes to focus your senses on the feeling of the water all around your body.

You felt a disturbance in the water near you, like someone was next to you. When you opened your eyes, you realised you were face to face with a baby ilu staring at you with curiosity.

Looking around, you saw great amounts of colourful fish and coral, meaning you were in the part within the reef that na’vi rarely came to, the one with the great sea mountain. 

The reason it was near empty was because it was forbidden to prevent hunting around that area, an order issued by your great-great grandmother who was once olo’eyktan.

And you knew nobody in their right mind would swim down this deep without the purpose of hunting; most would only swim near the surface if they chose to come here. This is it, you thought to yourself as you smiled at the ilu, it swimming circles around you in response, examining your features. 

While looking at the sand below you admiring the seashells shining in the light, you saw a large dark blue boulder heavily covered in seaweed. On the top of it, you noticed a bright purple fish struggling to get free, some of the seaweed tangled around its fins, preventing it from escaping. 

You swam down, concerned for the helpless creature. You carefully unwrapped the seaweed from around its tail, then its dorsal fin. With that, the fish was free, and it spared no time swimming away from you. But not to the ocean with the rest of its friends, no. It swam behind the big rock, then disappeared. 

Confused, you made your way to the other side, examining the seaweed all over it while wondering where the fish could have possibly gone. 

Then you saw it; behind all the seaweed there was a small opening, like a tunnel of sorts. Lifting up the seaweed around it, you discovered that the tunnel was much bigger than you originally thought, enough to fit an adult male na’vi. 

Peering into it, you almost gasped. You saw bioluminescent plants arranged in a beautiful pattern across the walls of the tunnel. They reminded you of old metkayinan patterns that used to be woven into the cloth your people would use for formal ceremonies, but alas that was a long time ago. 

The art was long lost, except for the leftover worn down cloth that your father kept draped over your families’ marui, as a reminder of who our ancestors were. You always looked at the pattern before you went to sleep, the cloth dangling above your head and serving as yet another reminder of your responsibilities. 

But now, you were able to admire it for its beauty. The patterns twisted into curls at the end, the lines mimicking the waves of the ocean. It was certainly old, you deduced, since some of the plants had grown, bleeding out into the grooves between the rocks of the tunnel.

Where did this tunnel come from? Who arranged the plants in this way? Did anyone know about this? These questions flooded your mind as you moved forward, swimming through the tunnel. It dipped deep below the sand, the only light you had to guide you were the plants on the wall, glowing purple and blue. Your hands pushed you forward as you placed them on both sides of the tunnel, propelling you forward.

It had been around 2 minutes of seemingly endless swimming when you finally saw a light in front of you. When you finally made it out of the tunnel, you were met with an astonishing sight.

A cave greeted you, with a huge air pocket that allowed you to poke your head out of the water. You removed the bond that attached you to the gill mantle, letting it go back through the tunnel and leaving you alone to marvel at this cave of wonders. 

There were flat rocks shaped like stairs which you stepped on, and the walls of the cave were smoother than most, almost like they’d been carved into and perfected with a tool.

There were paintings and maps hung and scattered on the cave walls, adorned with colourful seashells on the corners. In the corner, lay a delicate carving into the rock of a mighty tulkun with its tattoos in all of its glory, a small calf following it. 

Algae you’d never seen before were growing on the rocks underneath your feet and on the ceiling, hanging down like what you heard the flora that grew on the Vitraya Ramunong (Tree of Souls) would look like.

On the smooth rock floor in front of you there was a large hammock hooked up with woven cloth, and as you stepped closer to it, you noticed something. 

Grazing your fingertips on the edges of the hammock, you observed the same metkayinan pattern that decorated the tunnel woven here. You inspected the maps that were on the walls; maps of Awa’atlu and the other islands surrounding it. Beautiful paintings of tulkun and other sea creatures, the pigment extracted from the colourful plant life in the reef, more vibrant than any other paintings you had seen before.

Your eyes were simply open in shock and in awe of all the beauty. Perhaps Eywa had shown you this cave for a reason. Perhaps she had seen that you needed a place to escape to and gifted you the honour of finding this place. 

That night when you went home, you watched the area, wondering if anyone would sneak out to go in the direction of the reef to go to the cave. But nobody ever did. And everytime you went back, it was always exactly how you’d left it. 

For the next 2 years, you had escaped to that cave every time you felt overwhelmed, even staying for a nap in the hammock a few times. No one had ever questioned where you went, always assuming you were out helping others. 

Sometimes you returned with fish you hunted from the other reefs just to steer clear of suspicions. Of course, you never stayed in there for too long, only going in between duties for a break to avoid more being piled onto you.

It was your sanctuary.

“Tsireya! Where are you going?” you asked your little sister, catching up to her as she walked along the beach which was teeming with your people. Kids were playing, adults were preparing to go hunting, and the elderly were weaving baskets and garments to wear. For the metkayina, this was the usual.

She recognized the sound of your voice, turning around with a smile. “Y/n! I was just about to go feed the ilu. Want to come with me?” she said, looking at you hopefully. Your relationship with your sister was not as close as the bond you shared with your brother, of course, but you still cherished her for she was in your eyes, adorable. 

You smiled back, agreeing. She waved her hand as a signal for you to follow her. “So..” you glanced at Tsireya. As you both walked together you asked her, “Have you been considering anyone lately, sister?” A cheeky grin appeared on your face as her cheeks turned slightly purple. 

She pursed her lips, using her right hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Well, no…not really. None of the boys interest me.” You raised your not-eyebrows in slight surprise. None of them? “And of the girls?” you inquired, folding your arms while slightly speeding up to get a better look at her face. “None.” she responded, avoiding your gaze nervously. 

The wind from the sea blew against her face as she stepped into the water, you still looking at her in slight shock. Out of all the people, none of them had interested her? You were absolutely sure she was interested in one of the boys, Lälo, who had always made her laugh and always gave her gifts to show his interest.

“They’re nice, of course. But… I just don’t feel a spark with them.” she said, lowering her head and her ears pointed down, as if she expected you to be upset.

Your whole family thought she would accept Lälo’s courtship, always looking fondly upon them whenever he invited her for a walk. Your face morphed from one of shock into sympathy, reaching out a hand to put on her shoulder.

“There’s no rush sister, you don’t need to be ashamed of anything. Love is something that’s unpredictable, and one day Eywa will bless you in finding your future mate. You don’t need to worry about that now.” you reassured her, and she gave you a smile that almost melted your heart. “Irayo, y/n.”

You both waded through the water to the ilu’s feeding area, signing a quick I see you to the ilu keeper. When you were feeding one of the babies, Tsireya suddenly questioned, “And you?”. You turned your head in confusion, but she continued feeding the mother ilu. “What?”

“Do you have anyone you’re interested in?” her smile turned into the same grin you had on your face earlier. Before you could respond, a horn sounded.

Multiple shadows were cast on you both, and disappeared as soon as they came. Looking up, you saw multiple mountain banshees flying down towards a blank spot near the marui, the horn continuing to sound. This was certainly not a normal occurrence. 

You shared a look with your sister, and you both rode your ilu to the spot they landed, diving into the water first before resurfacing and brushing some of your wet hair out of your face while walking onto dry land. When you got there, whole bunches of your people had already surrounded the omaticayans, including your brother and his friend Rotxo. 

“It’s too small, how are they supposed to swim?” Rotxo said, pointing at their tails while Ao’nung laughed. Tsireya was quick to silence them, “Do not, Rotxo and Ao’nung!” she scolded them, as you walked next to her and watched the omaticayans who were still raising their hands to show they meant no harm.

She sighed, then turned her gaze to one of the younger male forest people who had two braids dangling in front of his face, shooting her a simple “Hey.” She smiled and looked down, and you tried to contain your laughter by covering your mouth as you recognized the look he gave your sister, failing to notice someone else also giving you a similar look. 

All of a sudden, the sound of skimwings splashing the water as they moved could be heard. Both metkayina and omaticaya turned their heads to witness your father flying over the crowd and landing back in the water on the opposite side. 

You whispered to Tsireya, “Does he always have to be so dramatic?”, and she put a hand in front of her mouth to keep her from laughing. 

As your father and the omaticayans exchanged greetings, your mother approached, a confused look in her eye. “Why do you come to us, Jake Sully?” your father asked.

You slightly gasped at the mention of his name, recognizing the tallest males' non-na’vi features. He had strange hairs over his eyes and an extra finger and toe, which you recognized on two of the other children. 

Jake Sully, who was once part of the Sky People and known throughout Pandora as the newest Toruk Makto, was here in Awa’atlu? You couldn’t believe your eyes. Was this his family?

“We seek uturu”, he said bravely, outstretching his arms. You heard murmurs spread throughout the crowd. Uturu? Jake Sully? Toruk Makto? were the words you heard repeated the most. Why would they need to seek uturu in the home of a stranger?, you yourself wondered, tilting your head in confusion. 

“Uturu?” your mother repeated, to confirm she was hearing correctly. “A sanctuary for my family.” Jake Sully said in affirmation. Your parents shared a glance before your mother stalked towards them, inspecting their features. 

“We are reef people, you are forest people, your skills will mean nothing here.” your father said. “So we will learn your ways,” Jake Sully responded, before looking at who you could only assume was his mate, Neytiri. You have heard of her amazing skills in the war between the omaticaya and the sky people, and your eyes shimmered with adoration when you looked at her. 

“Right?” he asked his mate, before your mother took her tail between her hands without saying anything. You groaned internally. She never did have a sense of personal space, especially after she became the official Tsahìk after your grandmother died (may she rest in the Great Mother’s arms.) 

She grabbed the youngest one’s arm, and said “Their arms are thin.”, the little girl pouting and retreating to the safe embrace of her mother after yours let her arm go. 

“Their tails,” she added, grabbing the tail of another girl with a uniquely shaped nose, almost like that of the Sky People, as she exclaimed in slight agitation and slapped your mothers hand away, “are weak,” she frowned. “You will be slow in the water.”

You looked at the girl again. She had a woven shawl around her neck, probably shielding her from being too cold on the ride here. Your mother grabbed her hands one by one, showing them to the clan. 

“These children-" she paused, her eyes widening, "are not even true Na’vi!”, she announced, your people gasping in shock. “Yes we are!” she said back to her, and you felt a slight twinge of guiltiness in your heart for your mothers behaviour, even though it was not yours to control. 

She walked to the boy that Tsireya was looking at before and grabbed his hand, also raising it up for your people to see. 

“They have demon blood!” she announced again, the boy’s head hanging low, only being able to look down at the sand below him as gasps mixed with shock and outrage again rose from the metkayina that surrounded you all. Another boy who you assumed was his brother, looked at her in slight annoyance. 

You did not blame him, for your mother had clearly overstepped her boundaries this day. You glanced towards your sister, her face twisted into one of guilt and sympathy, and you guessed she was feeling a similar sentiment.

You put your left hand on her shoulder, whispering, “It’s alright. I will talk to mother about this later.” you tried to muster a smile but you could not, looking at the little omaticayan girl that was absolutely crestfallen, hugging her sister’s leg. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at them anymore, even as Neytiri started to talk in defence of her mate. You turned your gaze to your brother, who despite whispering something into Rotxo’s ear, was still being stupidly loud enough that you could hear. 

“My mother is right, Rotxo. They will be useless here. Just look at how ridiculous that one’s hand looks!” he snickered. You felt anger boil up in your body as you walked over to him, still bent down and whispering. 

You grabbed him by the ear, pulling him through and away from the crowd, unaware of a certain pair of yellow eyes fixed on you both.

“Ao’nung! How could you say such foul things about them like that! You as the son of the olo’eyktan have to be responsible! Not ill-mannered like a child!” you scolded him, still pulling on his ear as he hissed in pain.

“Okay, okay I’m sorry!” he apologised in a panic, trying to slap your hand away. 

“Do not let me catch you doing it again, skxawng! At least do not be so loud that they can hear you!” you hissed as you slapped the back of his head, him looking away from you with agitation once he was free from your vice-like grip. 

The nerve of your skxawng of a brother sometimes. You rolled your eyes, walking back to your original position next to your sister. 

You saw the youngest hugging her father, whispering “Do we have to go?” as he reassured her “Shh, we’ll be okay.” Your ears drooped at the sight, once again sad for the family. You looked towards your parents who were looking at each other in silent conversation. Perhaps you could nudge them in the right direction. 

Taking a deep breath, you stepped towards your parents, suddenly aware of all eyes on you. “Mother, father, may I speak?” you said with a hushed tone. Your father simply nodded. 

“Alright I–” 

“If you must speak, you will speak in front of our people.” your mother said, staring into your eyes. 

Your lips parted in shock. You? Speak in front of all your people? In defence of strangers?

“Darling, I don’t believe that’s necessary.” your father tried to cut in after seeing the colour drain from your face at the thought of publicly speaking. Ronal sighed and ignored her husband, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

“Not for me,” she shook her head, “For your people.” 

Your ears perked up when she said those words. 

“They are scared, ma y/n.” she breathed out, her voice trembled so little that nobody would ever notice. But you weren’t nobody, you were her oldest child.

You could see in her eyes and hear in her voice that she was distressed at their sudden arrival. Her best friend in the Ta’unui clan was murdered a long time ago trying to protect the tulkun from the Sky people before Payakan’s murders, and she had to pay the price for it with her tears.

Not them, but her.

"If you truly believe in that family, then you will show it to the people.” she said, eyes scanning the crowd to which you followed. 

The children were hiding behind a few elders who were trying to calm them down. The thought of demon blood being in front of them of course terrified them, they did not know any better. Some of the metkayina had their teeth bared, fangs showing in clear aggression and disapproval, still gripping onto their spears. 

The metkayina despised the Sky People ever since they set foot on Pandora, when they hunted the tulkun and left their bodies scattered at the bottom of the ocean. They ruined the spiritual bonds that intertwined the lives of your people and the tulkun, and they did it without remorse. 

You looked at a group of younger metkayina who looked terrified, ears pointing down and scared, and you recognized the face of a crouched down elder who had his spirit brother murdered by the sky people long ago, struggling to hold in his tears as he whispered “Mawey, mawey, my child.” as he hugged a little girl who buried her face into his shoulder. His grandchild. 

“Show them.” your mother repeated, squeezing your shoulder in reassurance. You took a deep breath, and whispered, “May the Great Mother give me strength.” before slowly stepping towards Jake Sully and his family. 

“Jake Sully. Neytiri.” you said, bowing your head and signing I see you, to which they returned with slight confusion. You turned around, facing your people. 

“My people, you have all heard of the things that Jake Sully had done during the fight with the omaticaya and the sky people. You all heard how their hometree had fallen and they had fled to the Tree of Souls.” you began, not noticing the slightly pained expression of Neytiri as you mentioned the hometree.

“You also remember how these brave warriors,” you gestured towards the omaticayan adults behind you, “had saved the forest from being destroyed by the sky people.” 

“Jake Sully may have been of the sky people but he had seen the beauty that the Great Mother blessed Pandora with and he fell in love with it. As we all would if we were in his place.” You paused, taking a breath. 

“He’s not the same as those who have hurt the tulkun, I’m sure of that. He is not different from you and I. So do not be scared. And do not be angered.” you continued, and took a deep breath after. The crowd murmured, and the children stopped crying to listen to your words. 

“This family has been nothing but respectful towards all of us since they have set foot in Awa’atlu, so I expect you all to return this favour. Else your stares of disapproval will burn into their memory.” you said, and noticing the group of hunters loosening their holds on their spears.

“My people, we know better than to judge others based on their physical differences. So I implore you all to keep an open mind. They mean no harm to us. That is all I have to say.” you finished, bowing your head down to your parents before stepping beside Tsireya once more. 

“That was great, y/n!” she whispered excitedly, bending slightly to the right to look into your eyes, hers glimmering with adoration for her older sibling. 

“You really think so?” you grinned back, still a bit flustered from having to speak in front of everyone. 

“I know so. Take a look.” she reassured you, subtly gesturing towards the metkayina that had been showing aggression towards the Sullys, now seeming to calm down, looking at the sand in slight embarrassment of their previous actions.

You looked at the children who seemed to be wiping their tears and now were asking their elders about the feats of Jake Sully, then to the once scared group of metkayina who also calmed down, and your heart swelled. 

You looked to the Sully family, or more precisely, into the eyes of one. He smiled at you, to which you returned graciously. Now that you were able to look at him, he was quite cute.

He was not taller than your brother but his posture was perfect, making him stand tall and proud. Every strand of his hair was pulled into delicate braids, sort of different from the ones metkayina used in their hair, and some colourful beads decorated one of the braids near his ear. Your sister had not failed to notice your gawking. 

She playfully hit your left arm, still looking forward and paying attention to her father speaking with a straight face as if her arm was acting on its own, but you know that deep down inside she was ready to unleash her relentless teasing about the boy later. 

After your father had announced that the Sully family would be staying here, your sister excitedly went to show them to their new marui, hopping on the nets that connected them all. Since your skxawng of a brother had no intention of helping them, you had to drag him to follow the omaticayans, Rotxo coming along as well. 

You looked at the older sister, who begrudgingly introduced herself as Kiri earlier, at the back of all her family members lagging behind. You turned, glaring at your brother. “Keep following. Do not try to escape this.” you warned him, to which he grumbled something you couldn’t hear but still nodded. 

You then sped up your hopping, and Kiri turned to look at you as you matched her pace. “Hey.” you said.

“...hey.” she returned, avoiding your gaze.

“I’m sorry.” you said, putting your hands behind your back. She looked at you confused. “For what?” 

“For my mom earlier. What she said back there wasn’t nice. At all. I’m sorry you and your siblings had to go through that.” you responded, turning your gaze downwards in shame. “Thanks. But it’s not like you’re in control of your mom…” she looked at me, her voice trailing off. 

I realised I had never introduced myself to the family, being off helping some children when the initial introductions were being made. “Y/n.” you smiled. “Cool. ” she gave a small smile back. As you tried to explain more about the metkayina and our culture to her, she couldn’t help but focus on trying to keep her snickering to a minimum. 

She had seen Neteyam’s ears flick in your direction as soon as you said your name, and she knew he was listening to your rambling intently.

He was doing that thing where he nodded subconsciously while learning information from someone. “Kiri? Kiriiii?” you asked, waving your hand in her face. “Oh sorry! I got lost in thought.” she apologised. 

“No problem. Do you want me to repeat that for you?” you smiled, completely unaware of the boy in front of you both who had now turned his full attention towards you, taking in your smile. “Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind.” she said, grinning.

Lo’ak laughed in front of you both, and you looked at him with confusion. He said something in a language you didn’t understand, which earned a “Haha!” from Kiri and a push forward from Neteyam, muttering “Skxawng.” under his breath.

“Mind telling me what that was about?” you turned to Kiri. She shrugged while hiding a chuckle behind her hand, “Oh don't worry about it, just Lo’ak joking around, as usual.”

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | masterlist

Thank you so much for reading to the end! I’m sorry that there actually wasn’t that much Neteyam in this part but I promise he’ll show up more in the next part 🥲 I didn’t want to post too long of a part (else this would’ve been 10k words instead of 5k) or have to wait longer to post this. 

#neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam fic #sully family #kiri sully #ao'nung #tsireya #loak sully #jake sully #neytiri sully #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar way of water #avatar 2022 #avatar 2009 #neteyam is not dead i refuse to believe it #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #avatar x reader #avatar fanfiction #avatar 2 #atwow #james cameron avatar #avatar twow #avatar x y/n #avatar x gn reader #loak #lo'ak #neteyam fluff #neteyam sully x reader

[azgfggf]

SPOILERS 4 TRIGUN/STAMP/MAX (Basically all Trigun content)

I have so many thoughts on Trigun and all of them are sad because as I see it, Trigun is fundamentally a tragedy, a little through Vash’s own doing.

It’s a noble pursuit to go through a ruined world and try to make it good, but I think the manga, show, and reboot go in too much in his martyr complex for it to be fully believable? Like he started that way for sure, but in all three I think it’s obvious to the audience that he can’t stop. He’s dug himself into a hole of needing to save all these people, because he has nothing else left. The ending of Trimax made me so sad because it’s essentially the beginning of the story all over again. Vash is hunted, Vash is running, and in the span of his lifetime everyone who knows him will be dead. It might even be worse in the anime, because now he has to work to rehabilitate his brother (unstoppable force and immovable object), sacrificing a chance at a relationship with Meryl in continuing his quest for peace at the cost of himself.

One of the most poignant thing about this is Rem’s whole “Ticket to the Future” thing. Lowkey I think Vash misunderstood it, or in some way messed it up. I think, at least on some level, that the ticket to the future was meant for him, specifically in him living his own life post-seeds. But because Vash has already convinced himself the future of others matters more, he’s deliberately ignoring Rems parting wisdom not to blame himself for what Knives did. I love Trigun so much and it’s always near the top of my anime list, but the endings (both manga and anime) just fuck me up because it’s not really an ending at all, just a hitch in the cycle of Vash forgiving everyone but himself. And the one character who he loved more than anyone else, who was the closest to convincing Vash to be a little bit selfish and take care of himself for once, died fighting alongside him. To me, this whole story is just Vash being driven by guilt unable to see the reasoning behind Rem’s words. I don’t know what the endings are supposed to mean, but because of them I’ve always read Trigun as this sort of Sci-fi tragedy where one man bears the sins of an entire world until he dies or they do.

There’s also an interesting parallel between Knives and Vash, both opposite in their ideals but equally determined to get them. Knives only relinquishes when he’s dying, and then Vash continues. He’s clearly tired, as seen with Erik’s, but in a super ironic twist of fate it’s WolfWood who brings him back, and that’s kind of just the nail in the coffin for Vash’s whole journey. He tried to leave, and it failed. WolfWood needed him, and he failed. This, I think, is Vash’s point of no return. He can’t stop, because he’s personally destroyed any way to. He’s built up this idealized Rem that needs him to do this. He’s built up some kind of debt to WolfWood that needs him to do this. He’s built up this persona that needs him to do this. He’s sacrificed himself, his sanity, his friends, and everything else in a self imposed quest for peace that will never end because as soon as it does his entire reason for being is shattered (See episode 25). This post means nothing I just think about these silly men way too much. Please give me more fix it fics. Please. Please.

God I hope TriStamp does the endings justice.

#trigun #tristamp #trimax #vash the stampede #the brainrot is real

[quinnyundertow]

About Me

Quinny F/30, She/Her

Obsessions: Jujutsu Kaisen, Genshin Impact, My Hero Academia, Yuta Okkotsu, Figure collecting, Writing

Quinny's Masterlist

AO3 Account

My Works

Series

Title "When I Catch You Gege " (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Summary Reader is Isekai'd into JJK with the determination to change canon and make sure she rights the wrongs of Gege. Oh and enjoy her time there...yeah that too. No manga plot spoilers. Reader x everyone. All characters 18+ unless otherwise stated.

Content Warning: Canon typical violence, torture, suicide, Non-con, extreme bullying, angst with a happy ending.

Pairings: Reader x Nanami Kento, Haibara Yu, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Junpei Yoshino, Okkotsu Yuta, Toji Fushiguro

Genre Fix It, Reverse Harem, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Angst w/ Happy Ending Status Ongoing Length 33 Chapters / 150,000 + Words Chapters Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Title Sanity's Last Stop (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Summary Forced to work after the death of her father y/n finds themselves filling a nurses role at Hillsboro Asylum for the Criminally Insane. The patients and workers alike have her questioning her own sanity in this new insular world during WWII.

Ryoumen Sukuna has become a fixture in solitary confinement for the last seven years. His sanity was barely there before but now it is frayed beyond redemption. A good will gesture brings him and y/n into a strange secret relationship

Okkotsu Yuta swears he isn’t insane he didn’t hurt anyone it was Rika who killed those people. Just because no one else can see her doesn’t mean she isn’t there. You believe him right?

Pairings: Reader x Ryoumen Sukuna, Reader x Yuta Okkotsu

Genre Horror, Angst, Eventual Smut, Angst w/ Happy Ending Status Ongoing Length 4 Chapter 18,000 Words Chapters Chapter 1

One Shots

Title Kick-Off - Goalies Turn (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Genre Comedy, Fluff, Smut, Soccer AU

Pairing Reader x Choso

Fic Recommendations

Jujutsu Kaisen

The Gallery (Fanart & Commissions for my Fics)

#Masterlist #quinnyficrelated #QuinnyMasterlist #reader x Haibara Yu #reader x gojo #reader x Suguru #reader x Nanami kento #jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #yuta okkotsu

[themageofblood]

In case I'm right... I want to be the one to call it 1st...

Nifty is roo/eve and here is my evidence.

Like I mentioned in a previous post. Nifty is presented as a joke insane character, however there are several instances in hazbin hotel that suggest Nifty is eve.

1. Husk says we don't want to even know what's going on in her mind. It may seem like a joke but I feel like that is a major foreshadowing event to prepare us for when nifty's story is told

2. In the rebuilding of the hotel everyone in the main cast has something that associates their character on the building. At the top we see the key with a giant eye that looks very similar to nifty's . And as the root of all evil wouldn't it make sense for her to be represented by a key (like the key to pandoras box if you catch my drift) not to mention the wings around the eye which supports my other theory below (#8)

3. She is a sadomasochist. She mentions that she likes being forced and likes punishing bad boys and if she were eve, Adam's 2nd wife she may have been created for Adam with traits that would likely appeal to him.(a personal maid, who doesn't mind being controlled, and is obsessed with a "bad boy" image much like adam) Her naivety and childish nature is opposite to that of Lilith's which may be because Adam wanted the exact opposite of everything Lilith was. Now I know what you're thinking "but what about her sadism traits?she expressed she likes to punish bad boys" and to that I say that may be a trauma response to having Adam as a husband who demanded control over women. Maybe getting Adam to eat the fruit of knowledge was her way of trying to get Adam punished because we know eve tempted Adam with the fruit that doomed mankind

4. Her reaction to killing Adam was,,, off. When she was stabbing already dead angels, she had a smile on her face the entire time. But when she killed Adam it's like she dissociated for a second before going into a much more manic craze then when she stabbed the other angels. Much like when she was staring into the camera and her face was just. :/ The fact that she was the one to kill Adam felt intentional. And if Adam was her abuser dissociating after killing him would make sense

5. Building off my last point nifty only does the dissociated face twice only prior to the wars events, and that was she was being videotaped. We know that Alastor owns her soul and some speculate that they may have eachother's souls and if that's the case alastors influence could be the reason for her reaction. Is she really insane, is he forcing her insanity, or is her sanity something she willing gave up with her soul in order for her to forget her pain? Is alastors aversion for video solely about him? Or is it about hiding something bigger? And if it is is nifty apart of that?

6. I know Viv said she died in the 50s but things can change since the pilot, like nifty's clothes. Either it's a roos (pun intended) or she genuinely can't remember and someone guessed for her that she was from the 50s based on her trad wife escape personality and her affliction to bad boys. A popular 50s trope And she went along with it.

7.Speaking of her clothes I know some people mentioned she may have been shot, but I think she was stabbed several times. Nifty is a very small woman. It would only take one shot to kill her and 3 seems excessive. Her 3 blood stains may be stab wounds. It would also explain why she's obsessed with stabbing. All the other sinners at the hotel seem to have addictions to the same things that have caused/lead to their deaths.

8 .im so surprised no one's mentioned this, but she's the only other character with red circles on the cheek, and who else has this? That's right Charlie, and the fallen angel lucifer. We know that all hazbin character designs relate to the characters stories and I don't think it was unintentional this detail was added to her character. We also don't see this on any of the other heaven born angels. Either she herself is a fallen angel and only fallen angels get red circles on their cheeks or she is somehow related to lucifer's story or heaven or something. Also, this may be a stretch but the poodle on a leash on her skirt may also be a hint that either she or someone else is on a leash....

9. She's the only straight character. Hear me out. Either Adam was so insecure about Lilith leaving him that eve was made to only like men to lessen her chances of leaving him (because Viv said she's the only straight character meaning Lilith is queer) or Viv chose her to be straight and a villian as a fuck you to the conservatives who have an issue with the queer themes in the show.

Anyway Maybe I'm biased because she's my favorite character, but that's my theory. A fan theory 😏

#hazbin hotel #nifty hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel niffty #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin angel dust #hazbinhotelniffty #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel headcanon #niffty hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin vaggie #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin hotel eve #hazbin art

[moregraceful]

I have received some prev tags about this and now with the kind of clarity only liquid Mucinex can give me, I am prepared to rant at length. Erik Karlsson and Kris Letang. First of all in a league that trends younger and younger, old man yaoi has become a critically endangered species and we MUST create legislation that protects it. It is VITAL to the survival of old man yaoi that we support two old* men falling in love. (*I am older than EK.) Second of all, if GMKD is gonna create a defense corps like a little kid playing Pokemon Go who has zero concept of strategy and is simply vibing on his mom's phone while she talks to her friend in the grocery store, then I will treat his defense corps like my own personal action figure playset when I was a child: these men are in a HOUSE and they are HAVING ADVENTURES.

However unlike when I was a child playing with my Obi-Wan Kenobi action figures, EK and Tanger are chaotic demon 4 chaotic demon. Runs on spite 4 runs on attitude. Guy who could single parent one exact defenseman in San Jose (Nikolai Knyzhov) 4 guy who has been holding together the Pens dcorps for sixteen years. I think these two could fall so hard in love and create so many problems for everyone around them. What I was a hot Swedish defenseman who requested a trade out of hell and you were a hot Quebec defenseman who refuses to play anywhere else...and we both psychosexually terrorized Ryan Graves.

I just think the narrative possibilities are rich. Now that EK is in Pittsburgh, he needs a new boytoy who can match how weird and hot he is and I truly think that person is Tanger. Every time I see a gifset of them smiling on the bench I lose a little bit more of my sanity. Thank you for witnessing.

#like yes i'm going to kill mike grier with my bare hands but i'm not IMMUNE to MID-30s DEFENSEMEN FALLING IN LOVE. tf!!! #btw liquid mucinex: terrible sensory experience but it does work VERY quickly #pittsburgh penguins for ts #hockey for ts #fresno oilers.txt

[ladygreene13]

Since his lifelong wishes and decisions are about to be thrown out the window, here goes a compilation of all the times King Viserys, the Dragon, the Law, publicly stood up for and reaffirmed Rhaenyra and her children as his rightful, legitimate, heirs, over the course of almost two decades, including his last day. Mostly for my own sanity.

1. "I, Viserys Targaryen, first of his name, King of the Andals, and the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm do hereby name Rhaenyra Targaryen, Princess of Dragonstone, and heir to the Iron Throne", to his entire court & realm, occasion in which the Lords of the seven kingdoms all bent the knee and accepted Rhaenyra as future Queen. No objections for the following 20 years.

2. "There will be no loss of station" to Lord Lannister and every one of his guests, while celebrating the name day of his first born son.

3. "Your interests no longer align with those of the realm. Your judgment has been compromised", to Otto, his hand and most trusted advisor, when he fired him for trying to stain Rhaenyra's reputation.

4. “Surely, Lord Corlys, you are not proposing the Targaryen dynasty end with my daughter simply because she is a woman?" to Corlys and Rhaenys, reassuring that no matter what, Rhaenyra would sit the Iron Throne and her and Laenor's first born child after her.

5. The time he kindly asked Alicent not to commit treason and stop disrespecting Rhaenyra's children and questioning their legitimacy, after a long analogy about horses and how it doesn't matter what said children look like. Cause they are still the heir's children.

6. The time he not so kindly asked Alicent - who clearly disobeyed a direct order from her king and was yet again spreading treasonous accusations and poisoning even his chidren with them - and everyone else who might be questioning the legitimacy of the heir's sons, to stop doing so. Or they would be punished for their crimes. Because it is a crime.

7. "I do not understand why petitions are being heard over settled succession" to all the present in the farse that took place last episode, when King Viserys yet again reaffirmed Lucerys as a Velaryon, heir to Driftmark and his true born grandson (and therefore his brothers). And also condemned Vaemond for treason after he disrespected them and Rhaenyra, and questioned his decision in making her his heir.

+ Bonus

My only child

Message heard loud and clear, my King. You exhausted the topic. I think it would be difficult to misunderstand that

#viserys targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd 1x09 #house of the dragon #hotd #give this man some credit #he fucking tried #he was not the smartest about it but. #he did

[mejcinta]

I know you talk about this a lot but im curious about what you'd like to see from Aegon in s2 vs what we could get?

This is a good one 🤭🤭🤭

Okay, so my expectations of Aegon...if you ignore the rape and child fighting pits storylines that Sara and Miguel cooked up to make Rhaenyra more favourable as a claimant of the Iron Throne to the audience (because the writers are petty and clearly biased as hell), these are some of the things I'd like from Aegon in season 2:

1. Aegon pushing back against Alicent and Otto's manipulation. I want to see him become his own man, questioning his mother and grandsire and just giving them hell with his justified rage after Blood and Cheese happens. He needs a personality other than Mommy's and Grandpa's puppet and show them that.

2. Aegon regretting his neglect of Helaena and his kids. Alright, we don't know for certain if he neglects his kids, just that Helaena spends time with them and that Aegon ignores her. I want to see what Aegon will think of himself after the B&C tragedy. Will he try and step up? Will he be sorry? Will he try and fail to console his young family? Will he take full charge of his young family now and see to it that they're cared for and tended to? Or will he draw away in guilt and grief?

3. Aegon and Aemond's relationship. How will he react to Aemond after Blood and Cheese, the cost he's forced to pay for Aemond's actions at Storm's End? Will their relationship become more tempestous afterwards? Or will Aegon grow closer to Aemond?

4. Aegon and Sunfyre's bond. That's self explanatory. I need at least 3 scenes of Aegon and his dragon before they go down together in the battle of Rook's Rest. 10 points if we also see Dreamfyre and Sunfyre's bond. Can you imagine if Dreamfyre sort of lords it over Sunfyre like Helaena totally busted Aegon's balls in front of everyone at the dinner party with her spicy toast? Messy Helaena for the win!!

Added bonus: to add to Aegon's agony, I would like it if he visits Helaena as her sanity starts to slowly slip away. Imagine if she utters unintelligible warnings to him before he leaves for Rook's Rest and he assures her, without knowing what she means, that he'll avenge their son and her. The warning never leaves Helaena's eyes, however. And he soon understands after his fall from the sky, that maybe his sister-wife knows and perceives things he had ignored all along. Unfortunately, he's snuck out of KL the next time he's awake and aware of his surroundings so he never gets to see Helaena again and tell her he now understands her.

OKAY, NOW TO WHAT THE SHOW WILL GIVE US:

Aegon is still a sad puppy, needing Alicent's love.

Alicent still controls Aegon and rules through him throughout the season except for when King's Landing falls (which is speculated will happen this season).

Aegon feels bad about Blood and Cheese but pretty much chooses to sink into rage and battle plans without ever seeing his kids or Helaena. His coping mechanism will be to ignore them entirely and Aemond, Daeron and everyone else will be more concerned for Helaena and the children than Aegon is.

#hotd #house of the dragon #house of the dragon season 2 #hotd headcanon #aegon ii targaryen #king aegon ii targaryen #sunfyre #helaena targaryen #blood and cheese #jaehaerys ii targaryen #jaehaera targaryen #maelor targaryen #alicent hightower #otto hightower #aemond targaryen #daeron targaryen #helaegon

[dollya-robinprotector]

dollyaaaaa ur art is so nice n clean always!! im wondering how u draw so quickly n consistently? bow much time does it take for u to draw stuff ö i love seeing ur art pop up on the tl always, its so inspiring!! have a great rest of ur day >:333

Not gonna lie, I usually avoid the ask related to my drawing time or process. I cannot count how many asks I have received on this same matter, but...

Well, I should clarify one thing: I am not uncomfortable answering these ask. I answer some if I can. I just don't know how to answer most of them. English isn't my first language so even if I want to write a tutorial it's just gonna be... "messy" I think? Also, I have this love-hate feeling when it comes to drawing fast.

As you can see I draw almost daily. To answer asks, to present my own ideas,... there are two reasons for my fast-drawing skill:

I think way too much. My trains of thought often crash onto each other and my brain is just purely chaotic, to the point I'm overloaded and stop thinking. That's not good. So before things get complicated or fade to nothingness I would draw them out. it's how I preserve my ideas, keep my sanity intact, and not shut down from thinking.

It's my practice. I grew up knowing practice makes perfect, so I kinda draw to train my muscle memory. A kind of habit as an artist. I remember coming across an interview with BL artist Hotoku and I saw their comment on how to get through a "slump":

and it was at that moment I realized there's nothing more important than to draw when you are an artist. A "slump" (or artblock, etc...) is a disaster for all art creators, so I choose to prevent and get out of it simply by drawing more.

I remember I doubted Hotoku's answer for some time, but now I understand them perfectly. I, too, love and think about drawing all the time, almost that I don't want to do anything else besides drawing. It's complicated to describe, but I think I gaslighted myself successfully into a drawing maniac.

After all, all that I'm capable of is drawing. If it's not for my artworks, I'd be nothing. I can not satisfy my parents, my coworkers, my senpais, or even myself, so at least seeing some strangers on the internet appreciate my drawing warms me up inside I think, ehe~

As for how long it takes me to draw, it depends. Some simple sketches to answer asks took from a few minutes to maybe some good hours. The asks keep coming and I'm delighted to it, but the most I can do is answer 5 - 6 of them a day, usually, I could only do 3 - 4 or least, so I have to admit and apologize because I can not answer everything sent to my ask box. I do the most I can. The asks are a huge part of my creative inspiration and mental comfort, so I always give them my best. Thanks for sending me these asks everyone~

I called off my work today and shut down all the notifications from my boss, so maybe I'll rest more. But I would get back to draw as soon as I can.

#dollya ask #I kinda went on a ramble with this one but #I just can't help #other whom've sent ask about how I draw I hope you understand I can not answer them all #dollya art #non dol posting

[tandaforever]

Here is where I ramble a bit.

I looked at posts from the other side (no, not the dark side). I don't do it often and I have most of them blocked that I don't see any of their posts on my dash, so it was a deliberate decision. I don't hate them, trust me, I don't think their opinions are necessarily wrong either but purely for my own sanity I've blocked all of them long ago. But I got curious and so I checked.

It's interesting to read how differently this article was received, even on this side of the fence. An eye-opener. And I get where almost everyone is coming from, I do, even if I don't agree with some of it.

Emotions also tend to run very high in our small corner of the internet. But I've always said there's space enough for everyone here and wherever you land on the scale is your business.

But I DO see that in the end, they also want what's best for our boys, or our boy in question. Sometimes it's disguised in a roundabout way, sometimes it's not expressed so kindly, but I do believe that part to be true. Or else why would they still be here? Firmly on the good side?

But being kind and respectful to one another is KEY. It's probably what I value most in a fandom and I've made really good friends who feel the same.

We're all entitled to our opinions and those opinions can certainly change over time too, don't forget. But what I don't like seeing, are those opinions being pushed down the wrong throats (both ways here, I see you anons).

Read the room, people. Trying to convince people or attack people is a waste of time and energy imo.

Find YOUR people, and stick to them. Trust me when I say, it will make fandom life a haven, not a school playground.

My two cents though?

I've been here long enough to know when truths and half-truths are being presented.

I'm not involved in their lives in any way and so I don't feel like I am owed anything. I don't feel relieved, not really, as I recognize the long road ahead nor do I feel cheated.

He said what he wanted to say, and that's enough for me.

If anything, what he said might have been too much, too vulnerable and I hate that I can't shield him from further public scrutiny, further lynching. But that's a me-thing.

Do I believe everything that was said? No.

That person at work I had a talk with a few months ago? I sent them the article, and their mind was changed.

But what was said can be enough to change minds, so it's a start.

The truth, for those who have half a brain, that he's guilty of no crime, IS out there. And that's enough.

That's enough for me.

But more importantly, the amount of respect I feel for this man hasn't changed. If anything, it's skyrocketed.

His strength inspires me.

His goodness still inspires me.

(And yes, even though he's said himself that he was guilty of being an asshole, I don't actually believe all of that. Hell, I'm probably a bigger asshole than he is. There's a bit of an asshole inside all of us lbr.)

He is good.

And I still support him and love him as much as I did before 2021 and even before midnight on Feb 4, 2023.

And I wish him all the best.

I wish him all the peace he deserves. May he find what makes him happy and revel in it.

I'll still be here. Gushing over two men who has always had an undeniable, life long, soul binding connection, since the very moment they met.

Cuz yeah, I'm still a Charmie too. 😘

[saint-siren]

A World For Her Alone | Color all my days blue, but be sure to save one for white

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

cw (chapter specific): pregnancy, infidelity, sanity slippage, suicide

pairing: claude x fem!reader

summary: Reader really thinks she can be happy in MY story this soon? *scoffs* No way, baby!

author's note: I fear you guys aren't gonna like me for this one...more notes at the bottom

You drifted through moments you’d lived so many times before. The moment you returned, you thought for the thousandth time “this time, I swear I’ll do it right.” It was like a bedtime prayer, worn down to meaninglessness. A little lullaby on your lips, like a child searching for comfort.

There was no where else to go but back to assuming your dutiful role. This time, perhaps because your feet were barely touching the ground. Reality glitched frequently these days, if you could call them that. You tolerated Claude and Diana without even so much as a frown. And this time also, you protected her life like a tiny candle flame against the wind. Diana was well enough to start going to the academy with you, a rite of passage as much as a means of generalized education for children of noble houses.

At lunch, you sat alone in the gardens while they went to the dining hall together. If you tried hard enough, you could make out a voice in those memories. A blink of what you think could be black hair and a boys uniform, he’s floating through you as thin as air. He’s telling you something, in a voice cold, flinty and familiar. “Claude is with Diana again.” Something is being implied in these words almost bluntly and ill concealed.

Your answer is rote, automatic. “Yes, he knows I prefer to be alone but my sister is new and doesn’t know anyone so he keeps her company.”

“Is that so?” He smiled bitterly as if he hadn’t expected that answer. 

“Of course.”

“I wonder why you cover for him…” Those words passed you by without impact, they seemed more like your own thoughts than anything.

“Everyone always says Diana is better suited for Claude, that perhaps he’ll break the engagement to be with her.” Again, no impact. You already lived it, silly rumors couldn’t even amount to half the horror of the truth. “I hope you won’t take offense, milady, but perhaps you should fight harder. There are more rivals about you than just the young lady. I had heard you were a strong willed lady, will your position really be okay if you leave things be?”

He went away, or maybe you just blinked and the lunch period had passed, you couldn’t know. As if a machine, you thoughtlessly gathered your things as the piercing bell sounded and hurried you along. You caught a glimpse of Claude walking Diana out of the dining hall, her hand wrapped around his arm for support and his on the small of her back. Murmuring again to yourself, you looked away. But when Diana caught sight of you, she came over, looking bashful. “Your next class is this way too, right? Should we go together?” She asked. Of course, there was only one answer to that question. You’d risk being seen as bitter and jealous if you refused, there was already enough of that in the way Claude saw you. He was eyeing you, paused in his path.

You smiled. “Of course.” 

Claude said farewell to Diana, apparently satisfied enough by your answer not to fix you with a hard stare. The two of you walked along, all the time you could hear whispers, concrete ones instead of the thin, almost sing-song caches of remembered insult. 

“She pulled her aside to call her out…”

“She must be angry about Lord Claude eating with the poor lady.”

“She’ll act one way before her fiance and another to Lady Diana…if she’ll act that way to ladies who haven’t even done anything to her, think of what she’ll do if she thinks her own sister is a better match for Claude.”

People had gossiped about you forever, it was truly nothing new. Perhaps you had even deserved their contempt for behaving the way you did. Still, your skin burned as you heard the words shamelessly hurled at you even at your most mild action. Their slander was almost laughable in hindsight, you and Diana were sisters, if you had any desire to call her out, would you not do it at home where no one could interfere?

Diana walked along, fidgeting with the threads of her uniform and looking down. It was additional kindling for the gossip that spread like wildfire. “You’re not upset that I ate lunch with Claude, are you?” She finally said, looking up at you. “No, of course not,” You assured her, smiling again which seemed convince her. Her expression became bright again as she happily accepted your platitude. You walked on, in a haze.

Each night, you worked diligently on your wedding dress. It was something that could definitely have been left to a seamstress but it brought a bit of happiness. Your fingers moved deftly over the silk of your dress, the cool fabric bringing you back down to earth. The sensation of your aching hands, the way your gown was slowly woven into form by your careful hands, it made you dream of your wedding which would take place soon after your graduation. It made you believe that the happiness you acquired would hold up. Claude was not displeased with you this time, and had even started to relax in your presence. You even saw him more often this time, a few weeks ago he had taken you to a botanical garden. As a pair, you stood closely and walked quietly down rows of exotic flowers. Inside, you could hardly restrain a hope that nearly ripped a painful wound through tender flesh. He took your hand when the two of you needed to pass by another couple, it was warm and forgiving.

You had to put down your needle, your hands were trembling.

On your wedding day, it was overcast. You were nearly suffocating just looking up at the sky, when your maid opened the curtains in the morning, you curled into yourself to cut off the dull light.”Hm, looks like rain,” she hummed. Pushing back against the memories, you retreated under the waves of your mind and buried yourself there. It was a shame that the feeling of reality slipping was temporary. Things only felt more and more fixed the longer you lived. 

When you arrived to the temple, its solid stone and thousands of hanging candles that substituted the sun, you felt better. Here you were living between earth and heaven. All nerves and butterflies, you felt like a true bride, one fashioned in the love of her husband to be. You felt beautiful in the pure, stark white of your gown.

“...I swear in the name of my good house, to love and honor you for as long as you shall live. Never will you be disgraced by any action or inaction of mine,” Claude said his vows, not hesitating on a single word. That was the man you loved, lying before his family and comrades for the sake of the marquisate. It…almost made you smile to hear his devotion even if it was not to you.

Looking at you, after the ceremony and formalities were done, you heard Claude speak honeyed words in an awed voice that made you shudder. “So beautiful…” He murmured. Forgetting yourself, you gasped softly, feeling the rapture and confusion of his approval. And he was so near you, sitting at your side. You could reach out to him, to cup his cheek, to place a hand on his shoulder perhaps, to return something to him. 

Diana’s laugh sounded, a clear and lovely laugh that always did make everyone smile. The sound was sharp and near and you noticed that Claude’s eyes were staring through you. They seemed fixed on your face but his gaze, it was like yours had been before. As if you and everything else was passing through. You turned as though possessed to confirm that although he was looking in your directions, the praises went to your little sister who indeed looked beautiful. More like a bride than you did; blushing, chatting with a few young ladies and a lord you vaguely recognized. 

You were freefalling back to earth in an instant. The wind was knocked out of your chest and your surroundings seemed to sharpen, too bright, too loud, too colorful. Not even this day of all days was yours alone. Agony, you thought, Carrying the weight of every life I've led and still having hope enough to destroy, this must be agony.

Your marriage henceforth was nothing special, you applied a lighter hand in the politics of the marquisate. You tried at being cunning, underhanded rather than an iron lady as you had been before. Claude had expressed his gratitude whenever he was home. It was not a warm marriage, or a joyful home but he was pleased with you and the two of you were on better terms than you had been in other lives. The frigidity was bearable and as a partner, Claude was gentle. 

When would you learn not to lean into things that cannot last?

A day came perhaps two years into your marriage when Claude walked into the salon, holding the hand of Diana who looked sickly. He approached you like one does an animal they’re not sure won’t bite them. His eyes were hard and determined but his steps were slow and sure. 

“It isn’t Diana’s fault,” He forewarned.

“Is there something wrong?” It came out of your mouth almost beyond your control, even dreading whatever came next you were still desiring to make it better.

Claude hesitated before speaking. “Diana is pregnant.”

Something fell from your hands with a loud, clang. You didn’t so much as glance downward. Continuing as if a doll with a string being pulled, you answered with a question. “Who’s the father?” Stupid, how pathetic. Reality, all the time, was falling down on top of you.

“I am.”

It broken open. Whatever force kept you standing and speaking coherently had gone away and you were reduced to a child, whimpering and feeble. “Why?” was all that could be accurately comprehended.

“Because I love her,” Claude retorted shamelessly with his brow furrowed, giving you a stern look as if he was standing up to someone. But all that you were was a woman withering, struggling to grasp a single thread of sanity.

A child. Diana had a child. You couldn’t even hold yours before you died and slipped away forever. You would never even so much as know the name of your child and even so, Diana would have hers with Claude. That child would surely be loved by him, it was loved even now it seemed. Would she have that child you lost? A bright haired child crying out to let everyone hear their vigor and life. You screamed.

“I’m sorry big sister…” Diana mumbled, looking down. Claude tended to her, leading her to the couch and covering her ears with his big hands.

You were on the ground, gripping at your own skin so tightly your bled. Shivering in a display larger than any you’d ever made before. Another scream built in the back of your throat and you hadn’t even the power to restrain it. In between, you heard Claude say “Stay here, I’ll take her upstairs.”

You were shut up in your bedroom, made to rest until you were calm. But when his touch disappeared and the door locked behind him, you broke. Reality was intercut with the screams, the aches, the blood of realities past. It was all happening concurrently, Felix’s blood running in the mud, the cries of your child who could not and would not be soothed in your arms, the starvation of the prison. It didn’t end, it never ended. You were given a few years before it wanted you to remember again, to swallow you whole.

“No more” you begged “Please, no more...I can’t…I didn’t–!” 

There was a sleep tonic in the drawer of your nightstand, a strong one made and prescribed by the kind doctor. The recommended dose was just a tiny spoonful but it always put you into a sleep like death. You took them when your body was heavy from working so hard it nearly bowed your back but your mind was hung up on a thought that did not beckon sleep. Like the sound of the rain howling that night. 

You picked up the bottle and drank it all down.

additional author's note: you guys, I swear this will have a happy ending. And we've got one chapter to go before we get into something I think might make you guys feel a little better.

tags:@kage-tobiuo @kreishin @rosephantomhive@yeahdrarry @splaterparty0-0 @dear-dairiesss @qluvrv @hafsuhhh @eissaaaa @ayolk @doan-19 @fourcefulcupid @ariachaos @cerisearan@irisspade@yaesflorist@jcrml@xiaosprettygf@yevenly@amaris08atoshi012022 @obsessed-with-a-fictional-man @softbummiee

Next

#claude de alger x reader #claude x reader #wmmap x reader #wmmap fanfic #claude de alger obelia x reader #manhwa x reader #x reader #claude de alger obelia