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yandere-sins · 3 years

Note

Remember that Beast!Reader fic with the yandere prince? I loved that one! Can I please request ‘Tears’ from your prompt list for this please?

I was thinking that maybe a few years pass by while the reader is still stuck in beast form, but during that time the person appointed as an alternative caretaker for the reader (obviously the prince can’t be around ALL the time if he has to maintain his kingdom and keep up his image) slowly starts forming a friendly relationship and with even something as small as a forehead kiss to the beast, it is enough to break the curse. But the two don’t get enough time to celebrate before the prince barges in👀

I’m uncomfortable with nsfw and anything too sexual but I enjoy the creepiness and horror that follows a yandere character so I hope you can write it like that please😭🥺 Oh! And please let there be some hope that the reader will either be saved or she saves herself. Even better if the reader decides that she wants to save herself and the boy who broke her curse🤩

Thank you! So sorry if I’m requesting a lot😭🙏

Oh, my sweet little anons, when was the last time I gave you a happy end, huh? But thanks for requesting a continuation, I am glad you all enjoyed it so much ^-^ What a good idea you had there!

Tears - “Sweetie, don’t cry.. they didn’t love you as much as I did.. I’ll help you over the heart break.”

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Panting, you urged your legs forward, always one step further than you made at a time. The chilly night air burnt in your lungs, and your bare feet were icy and wet from the forest ground, but neither you nor the person holding your hand so gently in his thought about stopping. Only wrapped in a big rag, you should have been cold, but when he squeezed your hand encouragingly, you believed you could manage it all.

It hadn’t been too long since you started your way on foot down the hill the old castle sat upon. Sooner or later, the prince would find out you escaped, and surely, they would also notice your Beloved having fled the scene. There had been no reason for him to stay. Losing you was enough to get sentenced to death, his lifeless body thrown into a bog rather than buried. So why wouldn’t he leave with you? There certainly was no reason for him to stay in the wretched service of the king.

But sooner or later, they would come for you, that much was sure.

So, you two had to hurry, but even so, you couldn’t keep from smiling, especially when he looked back over his shoulder, his warm, green eyes shining without any regrets. You two had known each other far too little, but he never once hesitated to show you his affection for you, even when you still were the hideous atrocity that you had turned into to escape the prince for the first time.

Perhaps, everything that happened was fate. Even if it had been harsh and awful, it happened so that you two could meet and start a better life together somewhere new. Even if you wished now that you two could have met under different circumstances, now, you didn’t regret your life from before anymore. Now, you could simply look ahead to the future that waited for you.

Or so you thought; you should have known better.

The soaring of arrows pierced through the silence of the night. One hit the bark of the tree before you, fire spreading from its alcohol-soaked peak. Your eye widened, as did you’re companions, and you soon found yourself ducking as another one flew over your heads.

You couldn’t spare a second to look back over your shoulder as you two urged onwards, picking up the pace. Your legs were tired and shaking, but you knew that you had to go faster and faster, or else you or he would get hit. It were moments like these in which you wished you were still a beast. One which could run faster than any arrow. One that could fight and protect what was important to you. But that was no longer, true love’s kiss having sealed that specific fate already.

It was too late when you realized that the arrows so far had not been to stop you two from getting away. Instead, as they began to light up tree after tree, you realized they were there to banish the secrecy of the forest and make the dark disappear. At the same time, they made you two run into the directions your followers wanted you to go. If you looked back now, you knew who you’d see, no robbers smart enough to roam the forest around the prince’s castle, so there really was no reason for any other armed party to hunt you down.

And yet, you did, too afraid that if you didn’t, things would go way worse.

The moment you looked over your shoulder, another arrow flew past you, grazing your cheek. You knew where it would hit way before your companion cried out in pain, his hand letting go of yours as a reflex. He sank to his knee for a moment, cursing under his breath as you hurried to his side, seeing the arrow lodged in his shoulder. “Oh god,” you stammered as you sank next to him, hands hovering over the wound. “W-We can fix it, I’m sure, we just have to--!”

“There’s no time!” he interrupted you firmly as if he hadn’t just been shot with an arrow. Without wasting even another second, he got up again, grabbed you by the wrist, and moved forward. You caught a glimpse at his face, determination brimming from his features, but pearls of sweat collected at his forehead. He was clearly in pain, showing it in the way he held his own shoulder with his free hand, but he hadn’t given up yet. He would move on until you two were safe, and though you sympathized with his pain, you were so thankful he didn’t give up yet.

You two ran as fast as you could, but soon you couldn’t ignore the sound of armor behind you anymore, hooves trotting closer while torches lit up the forest more and more. It was almost spooky that no words were muttered, and you expected someone to call orders every now and then, but you had seen the clothes of your followers briefly; you knew who they were. The prince’s guards, clad in the finest silver and trained to the point of being nothing more than human dogs. They ceased speaking if not absolutely necessary, their eyes were soulless, and their hearts without a hint of benevolence. Them being after you could only mean one thing.

The prince wanted you back.

Another arrow getting stuck in the tree you just passed. You knew everything they did wasn’t fun but coldly calculated tactics. They wouldn’t hurt you. They couldn’t. Your cheek bleeding would probably cause one of them to get degraded to a chair for three months at least, so they really couldn’t afford to hurt you more seriously. But they did know who they could hurt you with. Someone whose pain would hurt you more than your own.

The next arrow missed completely, lost in the leaves on the ground. You two were running out of all the adrenaline you had, slowly and surely having exhaustion catch up to you. No! Please no! You begged the entities above that this wouldn’t be the end! There was so much more to live for, so much to see and experience! You wanted to be with your former caretaker, the only one who ever took you and your feelings seriously enough. You two could build a house and keep far away from the hustle and bustle of the cities, farming and taking care of livestock until the end of time. So please! Don’t let this be the end of it!

However, against your expectations, the one to collapse first was him. This time, the arrows didn’t miss, one hitting him in the lower back, one scarily close to his spine. Teardrops pearled from your cheeks as you fell into to mud with him, your hands scrapping along the roots and stones of the ground as you crawled back to where he laid, softly whimpering. Reaching for an arrow, you wanted to pull it out in desperation, but he began to cry out in pain before you could even start pulling.

“LEAVE!” he screamed. “LEAVE AND RUN!”

You couldn’t hold back the sobs hearing these words. “Please...” his hand reached for yours as he tried his best to look up to you. “Go, find a safe place to hide! Leave for another country and never come back!”

“No...” you sobbed, bringing one hand covered in mud and blood to your face. “I don’t want to leave you...”

“They are after you, not me,” he tried to reassure you, but you knew better. The sounds of their heavy footsteps drew closer and closer, and finding him, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill this ‘traitor’. If you went, then he’d die. But if you stayed and got caught, he’d die as well. No choice you could make would end happily for the both of you. “Please, go. I want you to-- ARGH!” Interrupted by his own scream, you began to panic, calling his name and shaking his arm, only to look up as a shadow was cast over you.

“[Name],” the prince sighed, relief showing in his face. He had this small, exhausted smile on his lips, happiness in his features as he looked at you. However, the moment he looked down at your companion, his face began to contort into a hateful grimace, his leg lifting once more to give your Beloved’s back a not-so-gentle kick. “No! Stop!” you cried, latching onto his leg as the kicks came down, your partner’s screams echoing through the forest.

“Don’t worry, I will get rid of the scoundrel who kidnapped you. I will save you! Just like I always do!”

“No! You’re hurting him! Stop it! Please... Please stop!”

Never had you imagined that you’d ever find yourself so low again that you’d beg the prince for something. Before, it had been for your life, but now, it was for the life of the only person that really mattered to you. “Oh, Sweetheart,” the prince cooed, his fingers finding their way under your chin, pulling your face up to meet his eyes. “Don’t cry... he didn’t love you as much as I do. I’ll help you over the heartbreak once we’re done here.”

The prince let go roughly as he pulled his sword from his sheath as you fell to the ground next to your partner. For a moment, time seemed to stop as you stood up in a matter of seconds. Panicked, you decided to throw yourself in front of the sword instead, but a hand grabbed yours before you could. Looking down at your Beloved, smiling warmly and encouraging as he muttered the final words you’d hear from him.

“Go.”

It was like he set you free, even if your definition of free originally included him. “Eh, Darling?!” you heard as you took off in a second spurt of adrenaline, the prince screaming your name after you. But your mind completely shut off the moment you passed the last lit-up arrow, sinking back into the darkness. Everything was blurry, your vision stained with your tears that wouldn’t go away no matter how much you rubbed your eyes with your dirty hands.

Your feet must have started bleeding as you kept running faster and faster, but you gave them no mind, not even feeling the pain. All you felt was the wound in your throbbing heart, something that the prince couldn’t heal no matter how much he believed he could. You wanted to understand your former caretaker’s action, telling you to go rather than defend him. If you had been in his place, surely, you had done the same. But it was as if you were the one who got betrayed by yourself by running away. By giving up on something hopeless, you felt like you were betraying everything you had ever stand for. How pathetic you were, running, trying to get the better future you had hoped to build with him.

Next thing you knew, you stumbled as the ground gave away to a slope before you, your body tumbling down the wet leaves and sturdy roots, your skim getting scratched by the branches of bushes all around you. It was pure luck that your fingers closed around one big tree root the moment they did; otherwise, you surely would have fallen from the cliff that opened up beneath you, instead of just hanging on to it now.

Only now your ears regained their function, the rushing of waves sounding far too deep and far too rough beneath you as to simply be a river. Had you run all the way to the shore? Was it the big sea beneath you? Either it had been closer than you thought, or you did develop some superhuman abilities after changing into a beast.

Groaning, you tried to pull yourself back over the edge, the slightly forward-leaning stone not being any help in rescuing yourself. Even more so, you had to realize the light of torches drawing closer and closer by the second, while you still struggled to escape the death by falling into the unruly water from a great height.

“[Name]!” you heard the screech of your name, genuine worry resounding from it. The prince’s face was the last thing you wanted to see, especially as he looked so damn horrified at the sight of you barely holding on to the cliff. “Don’t move! I’ll pull you up!” he called as he slit down the slope as best as he could without falling himself until he reached you. It was strange. You should have been happy that you wouldn’t be dying. That someone would save you from this horrific fate.

But all you felt was pure despair.

If he pulled you up, then that would be it. He’d take you back, lock you up again and do as he pleased with you. Who knew if you’d ever get a chance on escaping again, especially if he made an example out of your previous companion about what would happen if anyone ever helped you. You’d have nothing left but to live your life as a mere plaything, captured by the prince that was so beloved by everyone, and you didn’t want to think about all the things he’d do to you now that you were human again.

His hands reached out, and you noticed them faintly in your vision. Your decision fell only seconds before he could grab you by the arms. It was too dark to see, too dark to even speculate how deep it was, but you decided it was better than becoming an empty shell of a person if you stayed with the prince.

No matter what would await you in the depths down below, it couldn’t be worse than being a subject to his twisted, self-righteous love, you decide. Letting go was easier than you thought, making you realize your body must understand this situation very well even if it might cost it its life. The face of the prince as you slipped from his grasp was a priceless last sight to see before you closed your eyes, awaiting the inevitable.

Until your back hit the water, engulfing you wholly like the hungry, desperate maw of an animal. Deeper and deeper until it was everywhere, and only then you opened your eyes again for one last glimpse of the blurred light above.

#prince #yandere prince #yandere!prince #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW #lovelove prompts #Anonymous

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writerpeach · 3 years

Text

Stamina

Berrygood Johyun x Male Reader

8885 words

Categories: smut, public sex, oral, anal

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Read on AFF

Read on AO3

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This piece took a while to finish, I started over at least twice and didn't really feel like editing it much anymore, so apologies if it's not up to my usual standards. I will be taking a long extended hiatus from writing after this chapter and figure out what exactly I want to do next. Thank you all for continuing to read my writing.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas <3

"Ugh, babe, I'm so full!"

Johyun slurped on the last bit of her noodles, bringing the large porcelain bowl to her red lips and drinking the leftover broth. She wiped her lips and let out a sound of satisfaction.

“I would hope so, you ate like a pig,” you teased, finishing your own ramen and washing it down with a small bottle of milk which aided in cooling your tongue. You could handle spice just fine, but this restaurant always made things just a bit spicier than you were used to, which always caught you off guard.

Johyun stuck her tongue out. “Come give this pig a kiss then,” she said, leaning over the table and puckered her lips. You graciously fulfilled her request and kissed her on the lips before taking one more drink.

“Too hot for you, baby?” Johyun asked, noticing your sniffling nose that you were trying to hide.

“Maybe, I’m okay though. It was good though.”

“This is still the best ramen place in Seoul. What should we do now?”

“I could go for some dessert. Something to offset all this spice,” you replied.

“I think if I eat anything else it’s going to go straight to my ass, baby.”

“Well then we better get you something else. I love your ass.”

“I know you do, baby, you’[re always staring at it,” Johyun teased. “I think we should go for a run and work all this off. All these carbs and salt aren’t good for us.”

“Okay, but dessert-” you protested, not wanting to exercise at such a late hour.

“Dessert can wait, babe. It’s important for us to stay healthy.”

“Fine, you’re right.” Complaining wasn’t going to do you any good.

You hated working out. Cardio was your enemy, even a brisk walk left you out of breath.

The gym did have its benefits. Johyun always showed off her big round ass in very tight leggings, leaving little to the imagination as her defined plump buttcheeks swallowed up the fabric of her pants. You never would have stepped inside a gym voluntarily.

Johyun on the other hand loved to workout. It was part of her job to be in shape, and she worked out regularly, sometimes starting as soon as she woke up which you could never wrap your head around.

You had joined this particular gym as it was closest to your shared apartment and a close distance from both of your workplaces and had the benefit of being open 24/7, which you didn’t know was a benefit or a curse. Johyun insisted on paying up front for six months, insisting it would force you to commit to an exercise routine.

Making a quick pit stop at home to pick up water and change you held the door open for Johyun as she smiled and headed in first. She wore a pink shirt underneath a black jacket, while her lower half consisted of tight dark leggings, letting you see that wonderful plump ass and her full wide hips swaying as she entered.

This gym wasn’t like the other ones you had tried, full of loud gym rats who lived to lift weights and loved to let anyone know how much they could bench. It was smaller but still had plenty of various equipment and you never had to wait long for a machine to show up, allowing you to focus on what body parts you wanted to focus on or the dreaded cardio you loathed.

It was rather late when you entered, seeing a lack of anyone else in the gym. It was your lucky day. Your eyes scanned the rows of machines, deciding what you wanted to do first. Johyun settled on the elliptical first, taking a moment to warm her body up with a stretching routine.

You started simple, doing lat pulldowns while Johyun worked her arms and legs at the same time. You were tired after just one set, while she hadn’t even broken a sweat.

She moved to the row of treadmills facing a wall of mirrors, and you followed, taking a seat in a nearby weight bench and grabbed a set of free weights, using a heavier weight than you normally did as you tried to show off.

You had the perfect view of your girlfriend as she worked out, legs moving like a gazelle as the upped the incline right away. Her leggings hugged her ass perfectly, and you couldn’t decide where you wanted your eyes there or on her bouncing breasts as she jogged at a brisk pace.

“Babe, stop staring at my ass.” she whined as she caught you in the mirror even though you both knew she loved the attention.

“How can I when it looks so good? If you didn’t want me staring then you shouldn’t have worn those pants,” you replied, catching Johyun smiling in the same mirror you were caught with.

“Fair point. Look all you want, but we’re here to workout. I don’t want you slacking!”

“I am working out,” you said, demonstrating by doing more bicep curls in succession, making a point of flexing your muscles.

“My baby is so strong! Keep going!”

It was hard to focus when you were distracted by Johyun’s scrumptious ass, but you did what you could and at least pretended to finish more reps. Johyun meanwhile had increased the speed on her treadmill as her legs flowed gracefully like water and you were tired just watching her.

You exhaled loudly after doing three sets of ten, placing your dumbbells back on the rack and took a seat back on the bench, enjoying the view of Johyun’s bouncing backside as you took a long sip of ice cold water from your bottle.

While you tried to catch your breath Johyun winded her workout down, gradually decreasing the speed until the belt on the treadmill stopped moving. She spun around on her heels, giving off a sweet smile as she saw your lethargic body resting.

“We should work on your stamina, baby. You’re exhausted and you barely did anything,” she teased.

“I did plenty! I counted at least two hundred reps. I’m gonna be feeling it in the morning.”

“Is that so?” she asked, deciding to play along. “I’m proud of you, baby.”

“Thank you,” you said as you abruptly pulled her onto your lap, close enough to smell the honeysuckle scent of her shampoo that reminded you of candy.

“I forget how horny you always get after working out,” Johyun said, tucking a strand of hair behind her hair.

“You can’t blame me when your butt looks that good in leggings,” you said, giving her ass a soft smack.

“It really does, doesn’t it?” Johyun replied, tilting her head to one side as she gave you a kiss, letting you taste her sweet lip gloss on her puckered lips.

“Now, who’s horny?”

“You caught me,” Johyun said. “We should go shower, the hot water here lasts forever.’

“We didn’t bring anything to change into and there aren’t towels after hours. We can save water and I’ll clean you up instead,” you said as you dove into her neck, running your tongue and collecting her perspiration.

“Babe, no, I’m so sweaty!”

“I know. I love it,” you said as you continued to lick the sweat off of her neck, finding her taste succulent.

“I have a better idea,” she said as she brought her lips to the side of your face, turning her voice into a mere whisper.

“I wanna suck your cock, baby.”

Her lewd words sent a shiver up your spine and you felt yourself hardening already.

“We better get going then-”

Johyun shook her head, letting her intentions be obviously known.

“I can’t wait until we’re home, baby. I wanna suck your dick right here.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Someone could come in and see, I don’t think this a good idea-”

Johyun interrupted you by placing a finger to your lips, silencing any further protests. “It’ll be fine. I come here almost every night and not a single person shows up. This neighborhood is full of old people so they workout in the early morning.”

“Just relax, baby. Nobody will be here,” Johyun said, giving another kiss as she used your chest to dismount your lap and lowered to her knees slowly, placing both hands in her lap and eagerly looking up.

“I want to gag on your cock, baby. I’m dying to feel it throbbing in the back of my throat, baby, please, I need your cock so bad.”

Well fuck. She had you under her spell, and you certainly weren’t going to deny a woman begging to suck your cock. Johyun smiled happily as she hooked her fingers into the waistband of your gym shorts, pulling them down to your ankles and exposing the bulge in your boxers.

“It must have been so difficult trying not to get hard while you were staring at my tight ass,” Johyun said as she pulled your cock out of your boxers, gripping it tightly and stroking, causing your first moan.

Johyun was an impatient woman which let to situations like this, wanting to have sex in as many public place as possible, now adding a gym to the list of checked off places.

“You’re like a rock already,” Johyun smiled as she gave a soft kiss on your tip, pulling the rest of your boxers down to your ankles as she squeezed your cock tighter, giving firmer strokes that made your throbbing shaft leak over her fingers.

You weren’t expecting the night to end with your pants around your ankles at your local gym, but Johyun’s spontaneity kept you on your toes.

Johyun didn’t waste time as she flattened her tongue against your shaft and slowly painted your cock with it, delivering long drawn-out strokes that caused pleasure already. She teased your swollen tip, swirling her wet tongue around it several times to increase your pre-cum, lapping up every drop of the colorless liquid.

“It’s too bad I didn’t bring my purse. You could have fucked my ass here in the gym,” Johyun taunted with a deadly smirk, knowing she always came prepared.

“We’ll just have to save that for later though,” Johyun said as she licked more of your cock, running her tongue over every surface and tasting it like it was a delicious treat for her, which it certainly was.

You never got tired of Johyun’s need to please you in public, and even though you caught yourself nervously looking around, you couldn’t help but selfishly want more.

“What is it, baby?” Johyun asked, spitting on your cock several times and jerking you off with her soft small hand as she spread her warm saliva all over.

“I wanna see your tits,” you replied, without a moment of hesitation.

“All you had to do was ask,” Johyun said as she grabbed the hem of her white top and lifted it up up and over her head, showing off an orange and red bra that you had never seen before that contained her full large breasts, the coloring popping out in the gym lights.

“Is that new?” you asked, unable to take your eyes off from her chest and taking note at how well her breasts were pushed up.

“This? It’s from my last photoshoot, they always let me keep what I model,” Johyun said. You knew she loved showing herself off during lingerie shoots, but always felt a little jealous, something she always sensed.

“Don’t worry, baby. Everyone gets to see me with this on, but you’re the only person who gets to see me with it off,” she said, giving a reassuring smile. She kept stroking your cock slowly with one hand while the other reached behind her back, unclasping her bra. Johyun tossed it aside, exposing her large milky breasts and nothing could take your eyes off them.

Your mouth watered at the sight of her huge tits. Johyun did her best to distract you as she planted several kisses on both sides of your cock, throbbing with each contact of her lips in preparation for what was next.

“You’re so hard for me, baby,” she said, kissing and licking your tip several times, and you responded with a low groan.

“You make me so hard.”

Johyun licked her lips and ran them along both sides of your needy shaft, giving your cock one final tease. You were both more than ready as her warm lips parted with your hard shaft in between, applying a light suction as she gently sucked your tip.

You gasped at the feeling of Johyun’s soft lips wrapped around your cock as they slid back and forth, her wet tongue adding more stimulation as it played with your sensitive underside.

Johyun’s warm wet mouth felt amazing, even better the deeper she took you inside it. She swallowed up half of your shaft as she bobbed her head up and down, slurping on your cock loudly. Her tongue swirled around your cock as more of it disappeared into her warm cavern, adding endless pleasure that ran through your whole body.

“Fuck, baby, that feels so good,” you moaned as Johyun kept eye contact, watching the pleasure she was giving. Her lips were sealed tight around your throbbing cock, bobbing her head faster as she quickly covered your cock in drool.

“It’ll feel even better if you fuck my face.”

The look in her lust-filled eyes was the only invitation you needed. Johyun stuck her tongue out as you slapped your hard shaft on it several times, giving off several loud smacks as you pushed back inside the warmth of her mouth.

Johyun’s need was visible and you didn’t dawdle, grabbing onto both sides of her head and forcibly started thrusting into her mouth, fucking your girlfriend’s pretty face in the middle of your favorite gym.

You were rough right away, not letting Johyun take any adjustment as you stuffed her throat with as much cock as possible, using her wet warm mouth like a toy for your own selfish pleasure. With each movement of your hips Johyun gagged repeatedly and drool spilling out of the corners of her lips, coating your shaft in saliva as she looked up with teary eyes with nothing but satisfaction.

The only sounds that could be heard were needy pleasurable moans you both gave off and Johyun loudly gagging on your cock as her gorgeous sparkling eyes filled with tears. Wrapping your fingers around strands of hair you increased your pace even more, moving in a harsher manner drool overflowed out of her lips and spilled down to her full perfect breasts, turning her stunning face into a beautiful mess that encouraged your thrusts to be even rougher.

“You like that, baby? You like when I use you?” you growled as you slammed your shaft deep down her throat as possible, sliding every inch of your wet shaft and out mercilessly as Johyun braced herself by holding onto your thighs.

If not for the look of wanton lust in Johyun’s eyes you would have been worried about hurting her, her nails digging into your skin signaling you were meeting her standards. Not wanting to finish abruptly you slowed down your pace and held Johyun against your base, her cute nose flushed with your stomach as she looked up and continued gagging, signaling for a break as she slapped your thighs several times.

When you released her with a loud pop she gasped for air as several strands of spit connected her messy mouth to your shaft, and you slapped her gorgeous face with your cock repeatedly and rubbed your tip all over.

“You were so rough, baby. I love choking on your cock, “ Johyun said with a huge smile as she leftover spit dripped out of her mouth and she spread it all over your cock.

“We shouldn’t let all this spit go to waste,” she said as she batted her eyes, taking your cock and slapping her soft heavy breasts with it before rubbing your tip up and down her cleavage.

“I know just what you want, baby.”

With a kiss on your swollen tip Johyun slipped your throbbing cock in between her huge pillowy breasts, trapping it in between warm flesh and squeezed her tits tightly to keep you from escaping.

“Oh fuck.”

Johyun smiled sweetly and didn’t waste time, moving her chest up and down as she used her abundant chest to grind up and down your body and create delicious friction. The pleasure was intense as you watched your tip disappearing in and out of her wet cleavage with ease, being lubricated properly as your cock was surrounded by soft warm flesh.

“You like fucking these big tits?” Johyun asked as she added more drool, spitting on your cock several times to ensure the friction remained as smooth as possible. The warm mounds around your cock caused endless pleasure as her huge breasts did their job, sliding up and down around your shaft that was locked up in between her warm cleavage.

“Fuck, baby, you know I do. It feels so fucking good.”

“You’re so easily controlled,“ Johyun teased. “I love how much my tits turn you on.”

She wrapped her soft breasts tighter, interlocking her fingers and squeezing your cock more with warm flesh everywhere that drove you insane. Johyun did her best to lick your swollen cockhead when it became visible again, sending even more electricity shooting up and down your spine with every strike of her wet tongue.

You worked together to achieve pleasure in tandem with Johyun, thrusting in between her huge soft mounds as she grinded them against your pelvis, making you moan loudly for her how good they felt around your dick.

“F-fuck, baby-”

You felt that annoying tightness in your loins that always showed up at the worst possible moment.

“You’re going to cum already?” Johyun frowned as she tightened the warm flesh around your needy throbbing shaft, not that there was anything you could have done to prevent it.

“My tits must be too much to handle,” Johyun smirked.

Truer words had never been said. You didn’t know how much longer you had, but it wasn’t more than a few seconds. Johyun’s assault with her breasts was deadly, and you couldn’t take it any longer. Savoring those final moments you watched your cock slipping in and out of her fleshy pillows, setting off your orgasm like she had just lit the fuse of a stick of dynamite.

“Cum for me, baby. Make a mess all over me.”

With a final glance between the soft flesh your cock was sandwiched in between, you throbbed wildly as you erupted in between Johyun’s tits as your toes curled. While your cock had disappeared in between her deep cleavage you filled it with several thick spurts, helping to lubricate your constant pumping motions, splashing her pretty lips and chin and painting her features white as you groaned incessantly.

Your legs shook as you were milked all over Johyun’s tits, white stickiness coated her skin as you struggled for air, your orgasm taking control of your body as Johyun rubbed your warmth into her skin, looking into one of the gym mirrors at the mess you made all over her and smiling proudly.

“We really need to work on your stamina,” she teased with her earlier words, drawing her tongue around your shaft to make sure everything had been given to her.

“Rest for a little bit, baby,” she said, flicking her tongue against your sensitive slit that caused a reaction in your whole body.

While you tried to regain your senses Johyun stood to her knees and playfully pushed you against the weight bench as you stepped out of your pants and boxers, still gasping for breath as you laid down.

She didn’t say another word as she faced away from you, still watching your reaction in the large mirror as she bent over and slowly peeled her leggings off, revealing a matching orange thong nestled in between her tight round ass.

You could feel your erection coming back to life already. Johyun kept her body bent over, rubbing her thighs before squeezing her ass, giving you the show of a lifetime. She spanked her ass on each side, the smack echoing as she wiggled her hips and shook her ass before pulling down her thong painfully slow an inch at a time, displaying her bare body for your eyes to marvel over.

Johyun’s backside was the work of hundreds of squats and dozens and dozens of hours at the game, and it was worth all that effort. You were able to see her naked body in full glory, those luscious long legs and thick creamy thighs, her beautiful ass and bare shaven pussy that looked like heaven, pink flesh dripping with arousal as you were ready for a taste.

“Since you’ve been appreciating my ass all day, I think you deserve a closer look.”

Your mouth salivated in anticipation and before you could even take another breath Johyun made her way over to the head of the weight bench, facing away from you. In one swift movement she took a squatting position and lowered herself onto you, the flesh of her bare soft ass pressed firmly against your skin, squishing your face.

There was nothing more you loved than to be Johyun’s chair, especially after a workout as you felt the warmth of her sweaty thighs surrounding your face.

“Do you like when I sit on your face, baby?” Johyun asked as she looked over her shoulder, the comforting warmth of her body pressed down as she put more weight down and smothered your face with her supple cheeks.

You found it hard to both breathe and speak, unable to form a response as you squeezed her ass in response, slapping each of her cheeks that rippled. You didn’t need to breathe when you could be suffocated by Johyun’s delicious plump ass. Blood flowed freely to your loins again, causing your erection to be at full attention.

“I can’t believe you’re hard again already,” Johyun said as she leaned forward and gripped your cock, resting a hand on your thigh while she stroked your shaft. You reciprocated and focused on giving pleasure as you licked her pink wet slit several times, making her moan.

“F-fuck, that feels good,” she moaned as she began bouncing her ass on your face, spreading her juices all over. You traced the outline of her pussy, sliding your tongue through her folds and exploring every surface you could find.

“Can you breathe, baby?”

You shook your head as you gave her pleasure, neither of you seeming to care. You saw nothing but delicious flesh in your vision as you ran your tongue through Johyun’s wetness, making her moan with every delicate movement you made.

“I can’t believe my naughty boyfriend loves being suffocated with my ass so much," she said, grinding her backside back and forth while she kept stroking your shaft.

You kneaded her soft cheeks with your hands, digging your fingers into her warm flesh. Her juices collected on your tongue and you couldn't get enough of her delicious juices spilling into your mouth.

"Mmm, fuck, that tongue feels so good. Eat my fucking pussy."

Giving several slaps on her bottom you had enough teasing and sucked on her swollen clit, making her thighs squeeze around your head tighter as she moaned with satisfaction.

Johyun kept you in between her thick thighs and you couldn't think of a better place to be then nestled under the comfort of her warm cheeks, tasting her delicious pussy like it was a full course meal.

While you became Johyun’s personal bench, time no longer existed as you ate Johyun out. You could have been there for a few minutes or hours, keeping your hands full of her cheeks as you licked her wet pussy everywhere. You wandered aimlessly as your face became wetter with each swipe of your tongue, giving her as much pleasure as possible.

It didn’t take long for Johyun to grow selfish, no longer caring about your pleasure but focusing on her own as she rested her hands on your thighs and shoved her ass against your face. You loved everything about her taste, the way her juices flowed into your mouth and you never wanted to stop until your tongue had gone numb, grabbing her hips and forcing your tongue as deep into her tasty cunt as it would go.

“Make me cum, baby. I’m so close,” she said, closing her eyes momentarily as she moaned lustfully, wanting to savor this moment forever. Lips closed on her clit you slurped her juices that leaked out, desperate for more to fill your palette and helping her chase the end that was in sight.

“B-baby, don’t stop, please fucking stop, I’m going to cum on your face-”

It didn’t take long. Johyun’s thighs put your head in a vice-like grip, digging her nails into your skin as she hit her peak and screamed in pleasure. You felt wetness gushing everywhere, coating your face in her sweet essence as her toes curled and the thighs around your head violently trembled.

You did what you could to help her ride out her orgasm, running your tongue through every surface that contained her juices, cleaning her up and making sure not to waste a drop. It took several moments for her orgasm to subside as she released you from the constricting hold she had on you, allowing you to breathe for the first time in several minutes as you gasped for air.

“H-holy shit, baby, I came so hard,” Johyun said as she gingerly turned around to face you once more, looking down at the mess she had just left deposited on your face. You showed your appreciation by licking your lips, not even bothering to wipe her juices from your face as you pulled her into a kiss, making her taste herself on your tired lips.

“You taste so good. I wish I could eat you for every meal.”

Johyun laughed at your cheesiness, giving you another deep passionate kiss as she held onto both sides of your face.

“You made me feel so good. I want to make you feel even better.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well...seeing as you’re still rock hard for me,” she laughed, looking back and grabbing your throbbing hard cock.

“How about I ride you, baby? You did all the work for me, so I’ll do all the work for you now.”

“Ride my cock, then.”

Johyun was quick in her approach as she climbed onto the weight bench and straddled your lap as her soft thick thighs wrapped around your waist. There was lust and hunger in her eyes as she reached back behind her and claimed your hard cock, stroking it several times and couldn’t wait to be filled up with it.

“I want you so badly, baby. Fill me up with that thick cock, will you do that for me?”

“Of course. Whatever you want, baby.”

Johyun lifted her body up, letting you see the pink glistening flesh that was your destination, rubbing your tip in between her wet folds. She felt wetter than she had when your tongue was inside, and you wanted that wetness all over your cock, something you weren’t going to wait long for.

Carefully lining up your cock with her pussy, Johyun aimed it at her dripping hot entrance. She bit her lip in preparation and pushed her hips down, parting her silky lips as she sank down and let every inch enter her body with a loud greedy moan.

“Baby, you’re so big,” Johyun said, taking a moment to gather herself as she took a deep breath. Her tight dripping walls were so warm, squeezing your shaft to make sure you weren’t leaving her body anytime soon.

With hands on her slim tight waist you shared exchanged glances of lust, waiting for the pleasure to be delivered equally.

“Ride that cock, baby” you demanded, as if she were looking for your permission. Johyun placed both hands on your chest, flashing a smile as she moved in small motions, using her hips to grind on your cock.

You felt wetness and warmth surrounding your shaft, amplified by every rock of her hips. Johyun took it slow at first, watching herself in the gym mirror.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Johyun said as she rode your cock, establishing a rhythm. Every entrance into her pussy caused a satisfied moan to escape her lips as she took you deep into her body.

Her pace quickened, hips working in smooth movements as she took your shaft inside with ease, juices lubricating to make every motion fluid as could be.

Johyun was so wet and tight around your cock as her perfect large breasts bounced up and down beautifully. You captured both mounds in your hands, squeezing the delightful soft flesh with your fingertips.

You felt your cock bring drenched with juices as Johyun rode you harder, bouncing her ass on your crotch.

With Johyun’s soft breasts in your hands you massaged them, pinching her rosy pink nipples that had stiffened at your touch. You quickly gave each of her voluptuous tits a slap, causing a gasp from Johyun as she tightened around you, signaling her enjoyment.

"Oh fuck, baby. Slap those big tits!"

You did as she asked, slapping each of tits individually in succession several times, pinching her nipples in between. You slapped both tits at the same time over and over, watching the satisfying ripple of soft flesh and the loud smack of flesh on flesh as you left your handprints on the tender skin. Johyun let out several desperate needy moans, her pussy constricting even more around your shaft.

Massaging the now tender skin, you fondled Johyun’s sore breasts, playing with her nipples as you brought your mouth to her chest, kissing each mound before licking stripes up and down her cleavage, tasting the sweat collected already.

She flashed a look of appreciation as you dove in, latching your lips onto each of her sensitive nipples, hungrily sucking each one. Johyun whined as you slurped on her juicy tits, bouncing carelessly on your cock as you covered them in saliva, biting, licking, and sucking on her tits as if you couldn’t ever have your fill.

Johyun became more aggressive, slamming her body down hard on you as her sweaty thighs met your own, each bounce more forceful, more full of wanton desire. You kept your assault on her breasts going, giving teasing flicks against her sensitive nipples as you felt your cock being drowned in her juices.

You ran your hands all over Johyun’s sweaty body, feeling every curve of her perfectly sculpted body. Johyun moved swiftly and grabbed the back of your head, pushing you deep into her cleavage and smothering you with her large heavy breasts, the perfect resting space for your face.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby!” Johyun cried out, as for the second time you felt it hard to breathe, not that you ever would have complained. Her nails dug into your skull as she forced you deeper into her tits, enjoying being smothered by the softest pair of pillows you’ve ever felt.

Johyun aggressively rode your cock as you tried to ilck whatever flushed skin you could find, wildly moving her hips without a care, the loud slap of skin on skin echoing all around the gym walls.

“Cum on my cock,” you muffled out, feeling the tight dripping walls of Johyun’s needy pussy pulsating around you harshly.

“I-will, f-fuck! I’m cumming, baby!”

It was quick and wordless, moans escaping Johyun’s throat as she rode you to completion. Her bouncing thighs felt so warm and soft as they crashed against your body, as did her delicious buttcheeks smacking against your own skin. In seconds flat Johyun became a loud squirming mess, drenching your crotch with her nectar as her thighs trembled violently. Her warm wet pussy pulsated while you let her have your way with you until her intense orgasm settled down.

You didn’t let up, pumping your shaft inside Johyun to catch up, desperately wanting to chase your own orgasm as well. With the intense pressure around your cock you pumped harshly inside, the slapping of your skin against her own as you fucked her, squeezing her delicious round ass.

“Are you close, baby?” Johyun asked, her voice still frail from her climax as her glazed over eyes struggled to keep open as she flashed a sweet smile.

You answered only with words, bouncing Johyun aggressively on your cock repeatedly as your eyes were unable to focus on anything besides her bouncing tits.

“I want you to cum now. Fill me up and cum inside me, please, baby, please cum for me,” Johyun begged, and it wouldn’t be much longer before she would have her wish.

The air inside the gym grew harder to breathe as you reached those final moments, watching the lustful look inside Johyun’s eyes as you both waited for the inevitable.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Johyun,” you said the final set of words before the pleasure in your body became too much to handle. With one more set of thrusts you buried your cock deep inside Johyun as your cock throbbed, mercifully emptying several spurts of hot thick semen deep into her walls all the way to her womb and keeping your hands full of her delicious asscheeks.

Johyun kept her eyes on you as you finished emptying your seed deep into her cunt, letting her pussy milk your shaft of every last drop until she had taken everything into her body as your body shook from the pleasure of such an intense orgasm.

“That’s what I like, baby,” Johyun said with a pleased smile, leaning down to give one more kiss before gently lifting her tight naked body from your depleted shaft. Your cock released from her pussy with a loud forceful pop as your freshly deposited load slowly leaked from between Johyun’s thick thighs, releasing a creamy liquid mixture of both of your bodies that escaped from her freshly fucked pussy.

“We really made a mess,” Johyun shyly said, using her tongue to clean off your cock before before grabbing the closest towel and wiping off the workout bench.

“I blame you,” you teased, still catching your breath. “Let’s get out of here and take that shower.”

✦✦

It was a safe assumption to say that Johyun was a bit of a screamer. And there was no better place to let out her lustful emotions than in your shared apartment underneath the hot water currently steaming up your large bathroom.

Water droplets bounced off Johyun’s milky wet skin as you pinned her tight naked body against the shower door, smacking your hips against her ass in a rhythm as you drilled her harshly from behind. Her large round breasts were mashed against the glass surface as her palms flattened against it, desperate to find any outlet for the sharp pleasure running up her spine as she was impaled to the hilt with a thick cock repeatedly without mercy.

“F-fuck, that’s so good! Just like that baby, don’t stop fucking me!” Johyun moaned as your hands squeezed her hips tightly, making sure her body never left your fingers.

Hot water ran down both of your bodies, accentuating the already flawless curves of Johyun’s naked body as the smack of flesh on flesh echoed around the shower walls, mixing with needy screams and cries of pleasure. The shower door shook with every thrust of your shaft, moving in and out of her pussy carelessly as your hands moved from Johyun’s full wide hips up to her soapy wet breasts and squeezed firmly.

“You like being fucked like this?” you growled near Johyun’s ear, feeling her wet walls clenching around your cock in response that brought a smile on your features from ear to ear as your bodies crashed together and you nibbled on her earlobe.

“Y-yes, f-fuck, yes, baby I do!”

While you appreciated Johyun’s love of public sex and the thrill it brought, you vastly preferred fucking her in the privacy and comfort of your apartment, able to freely let out your raw emotions and be as loud as you wanted without bothering anyone else.

You gave Johyun a handful more thrusts before letting your cock slip out of her tight pussy as she whined cutely from being abruptly empty, a feeling that wouldn’t last long thankfully.

Taking a moment to admire the view, every curve and naked flesh of Johyun’s bare body, you rubbed your wet shaft all over the inner flesh of her warm soapy thighs, and she knew just what to do as her thighs closed around your shaft, trapping you in between them - one of your favorite places to be.

Johyun’s sculpted body was nothing but perfect, every body part flawless and worked together to create a work of art. It was regretful to not be able to see Johyun’s big supple breasts, your favorite part of her body if you had to pick one, but being able to fuck her thighs was just as pleasurable to you.

Her thighs brought immense pleasure, just as much as other parts of her body. They were thick, creamy, and most importantly felt amazing wrapped around your dick, you never wanted to leave their comfort.

They felt softer than silk as your cock was sandwiched in between her warm flesh, using her muscles and squeezing tight to keep you trapped inside her thighs, a destination you never wanted to leave.

“Mmm, baby, fuck those thighs,” Johyun pleaded, as your throbbing cock slowy slid in and out of her soft flesh, the body wash left all over her body making it the perfect lubricant to allow the smoothest friction possible. You held onto Johyun’s insanely wide hips, letting out needy groans that echoed as your shaft was being smothered by the softest thing you’ve ever felt and giving off heavenly sensations.

You closed your eyes for just a moment, allowing yourself to fully appreciate the feeling of delicious soft flesh surrounding your cock as your pace increased. When you opened your eyes back up you felt a wetness forming, not just from the shower but the juices from Johyun’s leaking pussy, aiding your ability to thrust even more so and ensuring this was something you were both enjoying.

“That feels so good, baby. Does it feel good for you? Does it feel good to fuck my thighs?” Johyun asked, her legs squeezing even tighter as you gasped at the pleasure that was driving you insane.

You didn’t feel like answering, not that Johyun didn’t already know how good you felt in that moment as every bit of pleasure shot through each section of your body, jolts of electricity putting you in a deep euphoric state.

“I wish I could fuck these thighs forever,” you said, increasing your pace even more as you felt a familiar tightness in your abdomen, a sensation you were equal parts thankful and annoyed at.

“If you work on your stamina maybe you can,” Johyun teased, and you couldn’t think of a better set of motivation.

It was like your body was taunting you as you felt your climax approaching right then, a moment that Johyun couldn’t help but notice, but you still felt the need to announce.

“I’m going to fucking cum,” you hissed, louder than expected.

“Cum for me, baby. Make a mess all over my thighs.”

It really didn’t take much longer. Gripping her hips tightly as you could, you kept the slippery motion going until you knew you had to give in, throbbing between the warm flesh you were trapped between as you shot hot cum onto Johyun’s thighs, grunting with every spurt as the rest of your load sprayed the shower door.

You kept pumping in between Johyun’s thighs as long as you could stand it, never wanting to forget the euphoric feeling as your cock was milked again for the second time. Your thrusts began subsiding until your sensitivity kicked in and you could barely move, resting between Johyun’s warm thighs as you recovered, catching your breath.

You slowly withdrew from the warmth of Johyun as she spun around to meet you, a smile curled on her lips.

“We didn’t get very clean did we?” Johyun said with a cute tilt of her head, grabbing the shower head as she washed the suds off her body.

“I only have you to blame.”

Johyun’s mouth opened in surprise. “Me? You have your share too!” she whined in protest.

“But you seduced me with your body. Like you always do.”

She couldn’t help but giggle. “You caught me. I’m guilty," she said with a perfect smile on such a perfect face as she made sure to wash off every bit of soap before turning off the water.

The two of you stepped out of the shower, Johyun grabbing a towel to tie up her hair while she dried the rest of her body. It didn't take you long to towel off as you headed into the bedroom and flopped face first into the sheets with exhaustion, not even bothering to get dressed.

Johyun stepped out of the shower shortly after, tossing her towel off her hair when she saw your lifeless body on the bed and joining, pressing her body against yours as you could feel her breasts on your back.

"Baby, don't tell me you're going to sleep already. You still need to fuck me some more," she said abruptly.

"You wore me out," you replied, grabbing a pillow and burying your face in it, pretending to sleep.

"Baby…" Johyun whined, rubbing your shoulders and kissing the back of your neck.

"I can't believe we had sex in the gym and nobody caught us," Johyun said.

You lazily flipped around, meeting her gaze as her hands rested on your shoulders.

"We shouldn't have gotten caught since you said nobody goes there at night."

"Usually."

"Usually?" you repeated.

"Nobody showed up the few times I went there, so it was a safe assumption."

"Few times? I thought you went there every night."

"I do, but I just started going there a couple weeks ago," Johyun said, smiling mischievously.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you had been tricked.

"But you know the neighborhood, right? Nothing but old people?"

"I have no idea, baby. I just go there after work," she said as her grin increased.

"Johyun. We really could have gotten caught-"

"But we didn't, did we?"

"You're bad."

"Oh? Am I?" Johyun asked as she bit the tip of one of her fingertips.

"Yes. My baby was naughty tonight wasn't she?"

"But you love when I'm naughty don't you?"

“You know I do. You’re my naughty little slut,” you said, responding with a quick slap on her bare ass, causing a gasp to escape her lips.

“Are you going to punish your naughty little slut?” Johyun asked, biting her lip deeply and staring into with the deepest gaze.

“I just might do that. How should I punish you?”

“You should fuck me. Fuck me so hard that I can’t walk tomorrow. “

You furrowed an eyebrow in response at such something relatively tame. “But I do that every day, that doesn’t like much of a punishment. “

“Then fuck me here,” Johyun said as she guided one your hands between her plump ass, spreading her cheeks to let you know just where she wanted you. You teased her puckered hole with your middle finger, looking at the look of approval in her eyes.

“Is there where you want it? You want my cock right here?” you asked.

Johyun playfully nodded. “I know you’ve been dying to fuck my ass since we left the gym. Well now you have the chance, don’t you baby?” she asked, gesturing towards the bedside table drawer.

You both smiled together as Johyun climbed off your body, positioning herself onto the bed on her hands and knees while you grabbed a bottle from the drawer. You never got tired of the sight of Johyun’s big round ass as you lined yourself, feeling the blood to your loins again as you were hard as a rock.

Before you did anything you squeezed Johyun’s buttcheeks firmly, giving each one a hard slap as her soft flesh rippled. You gave her beautiful supple ass repeated smacks, the loud crack of your palm on her flesh until her cheeks had a light pink tone on them, continuing to smack Johyun’s plump ass until you were satisfied.

“Is this my punishment?”

“Of course not, baby. I know you love this too much.”

You caught a smirk on Johyun’s face as she looked over her shoulder, watching as you continued slapping her ass under her skin was sore, rubbing your hands all over her skin to soothe out the stinging sensations.

“I do love it,” Johyun said, wiggling her ass cheeks as you continued caressing her tender skin.

“But I’ll love it even more when you put that cock in my ass,” she said with a devilish smile that you returned. You lubed up her tight puckered hole and your shaft, admiring what a perfect backside she had as you gave her body a gentle push. Johyun got the hint, sliding her long legs under your body and laying flat on her stomach, allowing you to take her at your mercy as her naked body was completely prone.

You positioned yourself carefully after taking a moment to admire Johyun’s full supple ass and the soft cheeks you were about to drive yourself deep into, spreading your thighs wide and resting them on the outside of her ass.

You gave her full tender cheeks another smack with both hands and brought your shaft in the middle of them, gently thrusting in between the warmth and softness of her flesh, sampling the appetizer before you were about to have the main course. With your slick cock in one hand you lined yourself up with the puckered hole waiting patiently for you, holding a hip with the other as you teased Johyun’s back entrance you were about to enter.

“Put it in my ass already, baby,” Johyun whined, sharing your impatience as your tip rubbed against the rim of her ass. Pushing carefully, you let out a light moan as you entered Johyun’s tight asshole with your tip, watching it slowly sink inside as you penetrated her more intimate area.

Johyun took a deep breath as her muscles relaxed, allowing you to push deeper into her ass with ease. This wasn’t the first time you had partaken in anal sex. Hell it wasn’t even the first time that week that you had entered her tighter hole. Johyun loved anal as much as you did thankfully, with an ass like hers that she was proud of it wasn’t surprising that she loved it being filled, wanting you to take her in her butt just as much as her other holes.

“You can go deeper, baby,” Johyun said, a set of words that you were always happy to hear as you filled her more inch by inch as her ass swallowed up more of your shaft. The tightness you felt squeezing your shaft as you pushed in deeper was like nothing else you’ve felt. Her ass was so much tighter than her pussy, which already was incredibly tight hugging your cock and refusing to let go. Each inch that entered Johyun’s body was clenched tight, fitting perfectly inside her until you had filled her up to the hilt.

You gave her a moment to adjust to your length, which wasn’t necessary as expected.

“F-fuck, baby you feel so good inside me. Fuck my ass, baby.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. You held onto her wide hips and began thrusting in and out of her incredibly tight ass, feeling the deep clench of your shaft with every movement. You didn’t bother with any type of build up, you knew she didn’t need it as you gave hard forceful thrusts into her ass, using the power in your hips as your cock stretched her tight little hole.

“How does that ass feel, baby?” Johyun asked.

“So good. You’re so fucking tight, baby,” you replied as you formed a rhythm, moving in and out of Johyun’s super tight asshole at a steady pace.

“Harder, baby. Pound my ass.”

You wanted nothing more as you held onto both of her delicious ass cheeks for leverage and upped your pace, pressing your fingers into the soft flesh as your hips smacked against her ass, causing the bed to squeak loudly with every motion.

“Oh fuck, just like that, baby. That cock feels so good in my ass.“

You were losing your mind at how good the pleasure felt. Your lubed cock slid in and out to the hilt with each thrust, the loud slap of flesh on flesh filled the room as you pounded into Johyun’s tight little hole. Her face was buried into the mattress as her hands formed tight fists, squeezing the bed sheets desperately and trying to find an outlet for the intense pleasure as you impaled her repeatedly.

“You’re so deep in my ass, don’t stop!” Johyun cried out, as you were giving her body the hardest thrusts possible. Her cries, moans, and gasps were every bit of encouragement you needed as you slammed into her ass, using every bit of force to make sure she felt every bit of your cock.

You loved being this rough with Johyun, and judging by the constant stream of drawn-out moans she loved it just as much, taking every thrust so well.

“Oh god, baby, I love when you fuck me like this. Keep fucking my ass, don’t stop until you cum in it!”

Well, you certainly didn’t want to disappoint her. You held onto her shoulders as you pounded into her tight gripping asshole, the bed shaking wildly underneath each harsh thrust in a way you weren’t sure it was going to hold.

Sweat began misting on your body, dripping down your forehead as you kept up the merciless pace. You were giving Johyun everything you had as she moaned lustfully with every thrust, taking every inch of your cock so well and not wanting you to let up.

“I’m so close, baby,” you moaned out as you continued pounding her ass roughly as possible, feeling the hot tightness of her hole as you used it for your pleasure, causing the flesh of her big ass to ripple as you pumped in and out of her.

“Cum inside me, baby. Fill my ass.”

“I fucking will,” you growled back, slamming into Johyun’s ass as hard as you could, losing your self control as you drilled into her hot tight hole and savored those final moments. It was so rough, so raw, so animalistic that you couldn’t help last that much longer.

It took just a handful of thrusts more before you reached your limits, throbbing inside Johyun as you sent spurts of thick hot cum deep into her impossibly tight ass, filling her up to the brim. The two of you moaned together as your shaft continued emptying into Johyun, draining your balls as her body milked you dry of every drop, making sure you didn’t leave a single drop outside.

You rested for several moments, attempting to catch your breath as you press your body against Johyun, kissing her neck several times just below her ear, sharing a chorus of heaving breathing and gasps.

“Baby...you came so much inside me,” Johyun said proudly as you kissed her shoulders and upper back. “It’s so warm…”

When you feel your breathing had normalized, you slowly slipped your shaft out of Johyun’s backside an inch at a time. You watched your generous load leaking out of Johyun’s gaping asshole and dripping down her thighs, a warm thick stream that flowed freely and spilled onto the sheets.

“You made me cum so much,” you replied, crashing besides her onto the mattress in an exhausted heap.

“Wanna go again?” Johyun teased, running a finger through her messy thighs to collect a sample of your freshly given semen before taking it into her mouth and sucking it clean. You were too exhausted to formulate any type of response, and Johyun took your silence as an answer as her sweaty body rested against yours.

“You really did a number on me, baby,” Johyun said, her massive breasts resting on your chest as she smiled sweetly at you.

You could only stare at Johyun’s beauty, trying to think of anything to say but finding words difficult in that moment. Sometimes it was better off this way. You didn’t care how long it took to work on your stamina, knowing that it meant countless hours of sex with Johyun was the best possible way to train.

#berrygood smut #johyun smut #male reader #johyun #reader insert #berrygood #kpop smut #johyum #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction

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cheri-translates · 3 years

Text

[CN] Gavin’s S2 R&S - Inevitable

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from an R&S (不可抗力) which has not been released in English servers!🍒

This R&S features S2 Gavin!

It is incredibly important to read Ch 9 Part One before embarking on this!

[ Chapter One ]

At midnight, a young man makes a turn at a secluded alley, walking into a small hotel that’s still open for business.

He walks around the main hall, and straight into the innermost booth. The sound of shuffling in the night is continuous, and the dealer holds a cigarette in his mouth, drawing a card.

A hand suddenly approaches, and the muzzle of a gun covers his temple.

"How long will it take for you to finish this round?" Gavin’s voice is calm, fingers exerting more pressure on the trigger.

The others are so frightened that they rush out. With no way out, the man suddenly whips out a knife and swings it at Gavin. Gavin grabs his wrist, the other hand reaching for the handcuffs.

All of a sudden, a voice rings in his head: Don’t get hurt, and don't ignore the consequences. If he were to do this, it seems someone would be very sad. He doesn’t seem to want to make that person sad either.

In that second of distraction, the knife glinting with a cold light in the man’s hand slices the area between Gavin’s thumb and index finger. The thoughts in his mind accumulate amidst the pain. Gavin gathers some strength in his palm, a raging gale rolling up the battered tables and chairs. The man’s gaze turns frightened...

Three minutes later, the man, who was puffed up with pride earlier, is firmly handcuffed and kneeling on the ground, begging for mercy.

Gavin pushes the person out of the booth, and the colleague responsible for providing assistance steps forward, escorting the person into the police car.

In the main hall, the little girl who was clapping her hands and singing the birthday song earlier has burst into tears, shocked by the sight before her. Her mother comforts her. "Don't be afraid, darling. This is the Special Police Uncle who catches bad men and is here to protect us.

After glancing at him, the little girl cries even more fiercely.

Gavin nods to the girl’s mother apologetically, then walks towards the claw machine at the entrance of the hotel. After a short while, he returns, hugging the largest doll in his arms.

"Happy birthday.”

He hands a huge cartoon doll to the little girl, then turns and walks out the door.

An hour of interrogations is enough to leave one exhausted. Tang Chao stretches, holding a tidied statement while heading towards Gavin’s office.

It’s late at night, and the lights are still on. Tang Chao knocks thrice but receives no response. He tries pushing the door open, and is shocked to find that Gavin, who is seated behind the desk, is neither dealing with a case nor official business. Instead, he’s in a daze.

Gavin leans against the chair, his gaze fixed on the computer screen for a long time, brows furrowed deeply. Tang Chao walks over and glances at the screen - it’s a report regarding the arrest of the producer from [MC’s Company Name] not too long ago. He reaches out, waving his hand in front of Gavin. He asks, "How many fingers?”

When Gavin glares back coldly, Tang Chao feels relieved. However, seeing the scab wound on his hand, he’s confused again - what could be so important that he’d forget to tend to his wound?

He places the tidied statement on the table, then drags Gavin to the infirmary. "Even a body forged in iron can’t be compared to you.”

Fortunately, the wound isn’t deep, and can be healed in a few days. But Tang Chao’s intuition tells him that Gavin is a little different from usual. This time, the offender wasn’t considered dangerous, and could be easily subdued by Gavin’s skills. How did he get hurt this easily?

Before Tang Chao can ask a few more questions, Gavin has already vanished without a trace.

[ Chapter Two ]

At four o'clock in the morning, the clerk at the 24-hour convenience store yawns, overcome with boredom as he stares at the TV commercial on the wall to pass the time. A cheerful electronic sound rings. The automatic doors slide open, and a young man walks in.

The clerk perks himself up, and is about to say "Welcome" when he realises that the customer in front of him looks very familiar.

This man lives in an apartment in the vicinity, and visits this convenience store frequently. Sometimes, he drives past in a smart-looking motorcycle. When someone tries to hit on him occasionally, he always rejects them coldly. It’s a pity that whenever he visits, he either buys instant noodles or instant bento... looks like it’s the same this time.

When the clerk sees him heading towards the convenience food shelf, he sighs in his heart: Young people these days don’t take care of their health at all.

Gavin leans down, his gaze flitting across the neatly arranged food on the shelf, absentmindedly differentiating the expiration dates marked on the packets.

Shiitake mushroom flavoured instant noodles aren’t tasty. The stray cats at the entrance of STF prefer meat, not anchovies. Don’t get hurt, don’t get mired in danger alone, don’t leave without saying a word.

Such thoughts once again surge forth. From a certain point in time, many unfamiliar experiences have been intruding into his life. It’s as though he’s sharing another memory, these disordered fragments of memories twisting into a long, thin thread, holding onto his wrist, tugging at him secretly from time to time.

Gavin returns to his senses, subconsciously drawing back the hand that was reaching for the convenience food, and picks the brand at the side which contains more vegetables.

When checking out, Gavin notices that there are rows of potted succulents next to the cash register.

"This is a public welfare activity jointly launched by our store and the Loveland City Environmental Protection Association. For every plant sold, we will donate the same amount of funds to the environmental protection charity.”

Seeing how unresponsive the young customer in front of him is, the clerk is tactful as he continues scanning the remaining products, "Nine dollars in total.”

The receipt is printed, and the clerk hands it to him along with the bento. The young man suddenly points at the small potted plant that had just emerged from the soil.

"Add this too.”

Back home, Gavin throws his jacket into the washing machine, sets the time for washing and drying, then heads into the bathroom to take a shower.

A strong gush of water flows from the shower, and white mist quickly fills the entire space. The stinging pain from the wound sobers him up quite a lot, and he subconsciously thinks: The wound should be tended to quickly, and “she” can’t know about it.

Realising what he’s thinking, Gavin is once again stunned-

Who’s “she”?

And why is he so concerned about how that person feels?

Stepping out of the bathroom, the washing machine makes a "ding" sound. Gavin wipes his head and walks over to take a look, only to realise that he had put bleach instead of laundry detergent. He stares at the washing machine in silence for a while, then reaches out to unplug the power, retrieving the ruined jacket.

After all of this, Gavin suddenly remembers the small potted plant he just bought. The clerk said that if it is placed in a location with sufficient sunlight, there would be new shoots in a week, and that it’s very easy to grow.

Gavin places it on the balcony, then picks up the phone and begins to search "How many times must succulents be watered in a day". Whether it’s a mere illusion, that sense of deja vu once again surfaces.

"What in the world am I doing...?" He mutters to himself, tossing his phone aside a little irritatedly. He returns to the bedroom, lying on the bed and closing his eyes, waiting for sleep.

In the depths of this autumn night that no one knows about, the rain outside the window patters against the leaves gently, and there is a very, very light stirring in his heart.

Gavin opens his eyes, looking at the ceiling which is illuminated by car lights. Suddenly, an unnamed emotion surges in his heart - he feels that the memories he has never been able to grasp weren’t “forgotten”. Rather, they are “losses” which render him powerless.

[ Chapter Three ]

On a rare, idle weekend, Tang Chao calls a group of friends from the STF together for hotpot. Right after ordering the hotpot base, Lu Yi’s conscience suddenly bugs him, and he asks if he should call Captain Gavin over.

Thinking about how rarely Gavin gets to rest and how he definitely wouldn’t be willing to see this group of people, Tang Chao knowingly shakes his head. However, his mouth has a different idea. “I’ll call him then.”

On the other side, a few special police officers are comforting Xiao Zheng from the Publicity Department who was hurt emotionally. Xiao Zheng fell out of love last week, and has been feeling extremely fragile and sensitive these few days. Hearing the bitter love songs in the shop, his eyes immediately redden.

Tang Chao taps open his contacts list, silently recalling the odd behaviour of Gavin recently. He isn’t interested in being a busybody, but his instincts tell him that Gavin has something on his mind, and it’s a change obviously brought about by that girl’s appearance. But whenever Tang Chao wants to inquire about it, the words get halted by Gavin’s killer glare.

Thinking about this, Tang Chao glances at Xiao Zheng sympathetically, and comes to a definite conclusion - if Captain Gavin were to continually suppress his emotions without releasing them, it’d result in an illness.

Tang Chao asks the waiter to serve two dozen beers, then dials Gavin’s phone.

"Good evening Captain Gavin. Have you eaten?"

"I don’t mean to annoy you, but Captain Eli invited us to have butter hotpot. You coming?

"Don't be in such a hurry to refuse. I’ve got something to talk to you about. Yes, it’s happening right now... it’s of utmost urgency.” Tang Chao shoots a grin towards an astonished Eli. Then, he continues fabricating a tale. "I don’t want to run laps. There’s a genuine matter.

Half an hour later, Gavin frowns as he walks into the hotpot restaurant. Seeing this, a few young special police officers immediately set down their chopsticks and stand up straight in a row. The only thing they haven’t done is to salute at Gavin.

Tang Chao grins, asking the waiter to bring an additional pair of tableware over. “Captain Gavin, you’re here.”

Gavin glances at Tang Chao and says in a cool voice, "What’s the urgent matter?"

“Xiao Zheng fell out love, so he asked you over to console him with us.”

“...”

Xiao Zheng frantically waves his hands in surprise, stammering a retort. Tang Chao pushes him back onto his seat and signals for him not to speak.

"Don't be sad, the chances of people ending up together is always unpredictable." Tang Chao pats Xiao Zheng on the shoulder. "Besides, who doesn’t have someone in their heart? Don’t you agree, Captain Gavin?"

These words are akin to a sudden clap of thunder on a calm sea. Xiao Zheng immediately forgets to cry. Eli immediately straights up, and the others hurriedly set down their chopsticks, whipping their heads over to look at Gavin like meerkats.

Gavin remains expressionless, though the hissing sound emanating from his body is even cooler than the ice cubes in the beer.

Since they’re in public, Tang Chao knows that it wouldn’t be convenient for Gavin to give him a beating. As such, he’s incredibly composed, and continues with his questions without a fear of death. “Captain Gavin, why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Why do you think this has anything to do with her?”

“I already saw the photograph back in the training days. Is she the lady from before when you roared “Tang Chao, put your hands away”?

[Note] These are references to R&S [Tempering] and Ch 2 Part One!

"...Tang Chao!”

“I'm here, I'm here." Tang Chao fills Gavin’s glass with beer. "Captain Gavin, I actually realised that you haven't been in the best state recently, but you don't like speaking your mind. I’m showing my concern."

“It’s said that you speak the truth after drinking, and today’s beer should be enough. Whatever you want to say, whatever’s suppressed in your heart, just release them all happily. Right, Captain Eli?”

After three rounds of drinking, Tang Chao fails to get Gavin drunk, but ends up drinking too much himself. Once again, he complains about Gavin's "Death Training" back in the days of special training. In the end, Gavin foots the bill.

Eli steps forward and pats him on the shoulder, saying, "Did something happen recently?" Gavin shakes his head in resignation. "You really believed him? His mouth is like a runaway train.”

Eli looks at Gavin and sighs. "I know you don’t need anyone to worry about you.”

"But that kid Tang Chao said one thing right. If one keeps suppressing their feelings, they’ll be suppressing problems.”

[ Chapter Four ]

On the way back, Gavin sees withered leaves on the branches along the street, and only then remembers the small succulent he had bought not long ago.

Back home, the potted plant on the balcony shrinks alone in the corner. Originally thinking that the plant he had left “free range” for so many days would meet a premature end, it turned out to be alive despite having a few withered leaves. Gavin finds this a little unbelievable, and he becomes more meticulous in watering it.

The next morning, Tang Chao opens the door to Gavin’s office and apologises solemnly. "Captain Gavin, I'm sorry. I promise that I’ll never inquire about your personal life in the future, let alone make arbitrary conjectures about your feelings.”

Without looking up at Tang Chao, Gavin only tosses out a sentence. "Before next Monday, re-check all the case data in the Archive Room.”

The Archive Room is on the third basement floor. The dust is very dense and the materials are very thick. Tang Chao wails immediately, leaving dejectedly.

Gavin picks up the document Tang Chao had just placed on his desk. It is a sealed report for the seizure of "small syringe" production plants, which records in detail the batches and output of pharmaceutical companies which participated in the production.

Reaching the final part of the report, Gavin is silent for a moment. At the end of the report, there is a line of small characters - "Ten boxes of drug samples are suspected to have gone missing."

Without putting much thought into it, a face with a beaming smile locks onto his mind.

“...I won't investigate you this time." He sighs, putting the report back into the drawer.

After ferreting the mole out of STF, Gray Rhino seems to have erased all traces of the "small syringes". But Gavin knows they wouldn’t withdraw easily from competing for "CORE" - naturally, neither will Black Swan.

Gavin is clear that the current peace will not last for long. Before the girl stands against him on the opposite side, what he has to do is be one step ahead, obtaining more crucial information as soon as possible.

The phone beeps, notifying him of a new e-mail. Gavin is pulled back from his thoughts, and his eyes fall on the unknown email that popped up.

"Congratulations on your successful registration in the Hunter Game" - the sender’s address is encrypted, and there is no doubt that no information can found.

Gavin's thoughts gradually settle. His hands are clasped lightly on the table, his gaze falling on the words "Hunter Game", his gaze turning sharp and determined.

That place definitely has something they’re looking for.

[ Chapter Five ]

In the STF Intensive Care Unit, a dripping sound accompanies the plastic tube. Gavin sleeps very peacefully, and he feels like he had a lot of dreams in his dazed state. They aren’t nightmares which wake him up with a start, but dreams which make him willing to remain asleep.

However, it seems he can only remember the final dream from the long series of dreams. When he’s roused awake by the sound of footsteps in the corridor, what lingers before his eyes is a blurry yet familiar face. Gavin sits up on the hospital bed, the pain from the no-longer-effective anaesthesia making him more awake.

Despite not telling Tang Chao and Eli about his participation in the Hunter Game, they aren’t suspicious. They’ve grown accustomed to Gavin’s aloof nature, and as such, assumed that he went on a secret mission.

During his absence over the past few days, there was a new development in the Evolver assassination incident - a new victim has appeared.

Gavin is very clear that if the cases were to be allowed to ferment, the higher-ups from “that side” would intervene in the matter. They have to take immediate action.

“There’s one more tricky thing." Tang Chao sits at the edge of his desk. "For the latest assassination case, we encountered a witness with a special situation. We might have to ask an Evolver who can read memories for help."

Tang Chao blinks and asks, "But I don't know any Evolvers with this ability. Do you know any, Captain Gavin?”

According to theory, aside from work purposes, they should be keeping a distance from each other. But according to the girl, the reason why they’ve come out for an idle stroll is, for one, to relax. Two, to search for inspiration to solve the case.

The lead from the only witness to the Evolver assassination was cut short. Gavin isn’t affected much, since he knows that this matter isn’t simple. In contrast, the girl is especially bothered by it, and feels apologetic for not being able to help.

On the bustling street in the afternoon, Gavin returns to his senses, taking the oden which the girl hands over with a smile.

When walking by her side, Gavin realises that he’s barely thinking about the things that are bothering him. He naturally picks up her conversation topics, as if they had wandered aimlessly on the street side by side before.

Does she feel the same way? In his heart, Gavin shakes his head in self-mockery, wanting to forget these thoughts which confuse him.

Walking out of the food street, rain patters down. The pedestrians on the street crowd together suddenly, rushing towards the station. Gavin holds up an umbrella, planning to send her back.

The yellow wintersweet flowers exude a subtle fragrance in the rain. The smell, colour, and the scent of the person next to him seem to be magnified, forming a memory of the present moment.

Perhaps, even before he noticed it himself, while he has been deliberately neglecting the complex emotions in his heart, they have been also been growing in a place where he cannot see. When she calls his name, when she accidentally touches his hand, it’s as though some things from a very long time ago are coming back to life in his mind--

Someone had once called his name using such a tone.

Someone had once held his hand in this way.

Someone... was once his strength.

The emotions which he conceals deeply, whether they are good or bad, were once held gently.

A scorching wave of heat suddenly rushes into his chest.

The traffic lights change, and the crowd waiting at the side of the street slowly surge towards the middle of the road. The surrounding pedestrians squeeze past each other, bumping into his shoulder from time to time.

Gavin lifts his head abruptly, watching the side profile of the girl as she’s in the rain. It’s as though there’s an intriguing overlap. It’s as though a very long time ago, his heart had leapt this fiercely for her.

The girl suddenly turns around, looking in his direction and waving at him. Putting away her umbrella, she points to a mother-daughter duo hiding from the rain underneath the bus stop. She asks for his opinion through her gaze. Without much thought, Gavin removes his jacket, brisk walking towards her in the rain.

Raindrops patter down, and the water beneath his feet leave splashes in their wake. Akin to rain, they land on his body. It’s as though he gets slightly more drenched with each step. At this moment, Gavin realises that on days when memories are muddied, he has grasped a thin thread since a long time ago.

The jacket supports a narrow world, and wind and rain occasionally blow in.

If their reunion was meant to verify their directions, no matter what the future holds, what he has to do now is to run forward with her, together.

[Note] Please don’t ask me about the Hunter Game! I haven’t had the chance to read the earlier chapters in detail so I don’t know the specifics 😅

💙 More S2 content: here

💙 Support the cafe by dropping by the tip jar!

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #...T^T #please don't send me asks about the new chapter even if it's about verifying spoilers floating around!#I haven't read them and I don't wish to be spoiled HAHAHA

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maisondenachtai · 4 years

Text

Oscar Darling (3/??)

Chris Evans x Black!Reader (obviously everyone can read it though.) summary: …we like men who know what they want.

previous chapter

It was just you and Chris.

Chris and you. You, Chris and Dodger that was sniffing at your toes. You, Chris, toe sniffing Dodger, and Diana who was just as speechless as you in the face of Chris Evans. You considered closing the door and pretending that he had never showed up, but there was no way you could close the door on a poor pup. Especially a pup that was looking up at you with the sweetest eyes you had ever seen. You pulled your gaze away from Dodger to look at Chris who also had a magnetic gaze, which was magnetic in all the opposite reasons than his companion’s eyes.

“Dodger, say hello.” He said to his pet companion, without moving his blue eyes away from you. In turn, Dodger gave a bark before jumping up to greet you. You instantly greeted Dodger with a rub on his head and a rub on his chin.

“You are a good boy, aren’t you?” You cooed to him instantly mesmerized by the handsome boy who was wearing a beautiful collar, one that you remember placing in the doggie treat basket. “And so cute, in this collar. It’s easier on his neck, that way if he pulls it won’t accidentally choke him” You said offhandedly, remembering what the lady at the pet store said.

“That was very thoughtful of you.” Chris watched you for a moment as you lathered Dodger with affection and attention and watched as his dog lapped it up. Dodger wasn’t a cold dog by far, he loved people, but he had never seen his boy become so familiar with someone so quickly.

“He likes you.” He commented.

You smiled as you brushed his head. “Well, it’s probably that he recognizes my scent from the basket.” You looked at Chris, who was watching you as well. “You’re welcome by the way. ..For the basket. I saw the video. You definitely didn’t have to stalk me to say thank you.” You felt Dodger’s body brush your leg as he moved past you and into your home where you heard a yelp.

Chris smirked, “It wasn’t stalking. I told your publicist to let you know that I would be coming.” Chris asked looking past you. “Who just screamed? Was that a boyfriend?”

You looked at him, folding your arms, “Uh, isn’t the right next statement, ‘hey sorry my dog is roaming your house freely?’ Let me just get him.’”

Chris smirked, “I mean, I was getting to that. But Dodger is extremely well behaved so all of your goods are safe. Besides, finding out if you have a boyfriend is more important to me.”

You rolled your eyes, “Enough is enough, Evans. What’s your endgame here? Why are you dragging this out?”

“I want to go out on a date with you. I made myself crystal clear the first time I asked.” He looked behind you again and smiled. “Sorry! Dodger has a habit of sniffing pretty women.” He called out to undoubtedly Diana. You turned and sure enough, Dodger was sniffing Diana with the same curiosity. Diana, however, was not as dog friendly as you.

“Sorry, D.” You walked in your home to usher Dodger away from her. When Dodger had moved on to sniffing your house plants, she relaxed. You heard the door close and saw that Chris had made it past the threshold of your apartment and now was looking at your pictures that lined your hallway leading to the interior of your home.

Somehow, you had let this whole situation spiral out of control. There was a, albeit cute, dog roaming around sniffing things, and his owner, a mega movie star, was looking at pictures of you where you were a pubescent teen. You wondered if an Oscar was a curse instead of a charm.

“This one is really cute.” Chris said pointing a picture. “How old are you here?”

“Are you kidding me!?!” You shouted. “Is this how things work in Hollywood? Like did I not get the memo on how manners work here?” You threw your hands up.

You could hear Dodger whine at the loud noise and he trotted back over to his owner, standing behind him for protection. You felt a little bad, knowing that Dodger was formerly a shelter dog and probably could have had a traumatic past but at this moment you were overwhelmed.

“If you wanted to go on a date with me, Mr. Evans, there are proper ways to ask.” You folded your arms. “You do not just dm a woman repeatedly until she says yes. You don’t try to guilt trip her on twitter and Facebook and you definitely do not just show up on her doorstep. It is not the 50s and that stuff doesn’t fly these days.”

Diana quickly made herself scarce, walking into your bedroom and closing the door behind her.

Chris opened his mouth to speak but you held up your hand. You were on a roll and you would finish, “I am not a woman that is impressed by theatrics. I’m honestly not sure what you thought would come of your little…games.”

After a slightly pregnant pause, he opened his mouth again. “Well…I thought we would have sex, to be honest.” He said rubbing the back of his neck.

You heard a thump and thought it was your heart. Your mouth opened and then closed again but then opened at the fact that Chris had moved a lot closer than he had been before. He was close enough for you to see that his beard had a few gray strands, and that it looked really soft...and was begging to be-

You shook your head, “I’m sorry…what?” You couldn’t have heard him right.

“You heard me. I want to have sex with you.” Chris grinned and placed his hands in his jean pockets. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to get to know you too, but I am interested in having sex with you. And I think you’re interested in having sex with me too. I mean…that’s what the bucket list thing meant right?”

You were speechless. You had to be dreaming. Chris Evans, mega movie star, Mr. Blue Eyes, the owner of the cutest dog alive, was talking to you about sex. He wanted to have sex with you.

“I mean…I was drunk.” You said trying not to look at him.

“Yeah…but now you’re not.” He smirked. “So…I want to offer you something. We go out on a date…and we see if things go well. If the date goes well…we knock off one of those bucket lists items. If that goes well, which I think it will, we continue checking off that bucket list.” He brushed your cheek, and you could have melted into goo.

“…That was quite…forward.” Your voice was barely above a whisper because he was so close now.

He tilted his head now, gazing at your lips. “Well. You were right…all of those theatrics. That’s not me. I know what I want, and I ask for what I want. And what I want now, is you. So, what do you say?”

Chris clipped Dodger’s leash on before guiding him out of your apartment. He did not bother looking back and as soon as he was out of sight, you closed the door and slumped against it in exhaustion.

Diana opened your bedroom door, walking out slowly and looking around. When she saw that Chris and Dodger was gone, she smirked at you.

“Bitch. You’re going to have sex with Chris Evans.”

…She was right. You were definitely going to have sex with Chris Evans.

-----------

tag-list: @rororo06 @toniilaney

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fandom #chris evans x you #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x poc!reader

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crutchie-with-a-y · 4 years

Note

Hiya Sophie🥰 how are you? Could I please request Jack Kelly x reader where he’s being touchy and begging for them to love him but reader is busy with school so they don’t give him enough attention? And then Jack gets super quiet and when reader is done with hw, reader feels super bad about not giving Jack enough attention, they treat Jack with cookies they’ve made and talk about this and the two of them end up cuddling the whole night sharing sweet kisses. Jack lays his head on reader’s chest🥺

Hey! I’m doing pretty good, what about you? Thank you for the request! Sorry for the wait, I’ve been a little pre-occupied, but I hope this is something like what you had in mind! <3

“Haha, yeah we’ll see you later, Finch!” You laughed and waved as your friend said his goodbyes and turned down his street.

“Oh thank GOD he’s gone!” Your boyfriend, Jack, said as soon as Finch was out of earshot. You and him and about a dozen other friends always walked home after school together, one by one peeling off from the group as they reached their streets. Finch was the third to last to turn onto his street, which left you and Jack to walk the rest of the way to your homes, (which is actually how you started dating in the first place). Jack, who was usually happy to have friends around, had seemed restless to get away from the group today, and once he was positive Finch couldn’t see or hear you, he pinned you against the stone wall the two of you were passing on the sidewalk. He passionately kissed you and for a moment you completely lost yourself in his rough lips that tasted of cherry coke and the cigarette he had shared with Race at lunch. Then you reminded yourself that you had some homework to complete and a test to study for.

“Jack,” You gasped when he pulled back for air and began to nibble at your ear. “Jack, Jack I don’t have time.” Jack pulled back without removing his hands from where they held your wrists against the wall and squinted at you.

“What are you talking about?” You snapped your wrists forward and glared at him as you began to walk again, him following at your side with the same look on his face.

“I have homework.” Jack stopped completely and you turned back to look at him.

“The fuck you don’t,” Jack said, obviously pissed at you, and that was rare, so it made you pretty uncomfortable, you had to admit. “You finished your math in class, you told me at lunch. Your history project isn’t due for a literal month and you’re already almost done with your poster. You wrote this week’s homework essay for English on Monday night.” He walked slowly, listing everything off on his fingers.

“Well there is more math,” You said defensively, as the pair of you turned a corner onto your block.

“More math? What the-oh my god the EXTRA CREDIT PACKET?!” He looked at you like you were insane and you bit your lip and looked at the concrete. “Y/N, you’re a straight-A student. You don’t need the extra credit. And even if you still wanted it ‘just in case,’“ He imitated you as he followed you up the stairs to your front door. “You literally have all semester to turn it in, and it’s FRIDAY. It’s FRIDAY! Can we not just relax and do couple things for ONCE.” He said, turning around to look at you while you shut your front door behind you. You glared at him. He KNEW how important school was for you and how much you stressed about getting all your work in on time, why was he being so rude about it?

“I also have science,” You responded, pushing past him and into your dining room to pull your laptop and textbook out of your bag and set on the table. Jack loudly threw his bag on the table in front of you and headed into the kitchen.

“Please tell me your kidding,” He said, popping open a can of Pepsi. You flipped through your textbook pages angrily, upset that he didn’t seem to get it.

“No, I’m not kidding.” You said sharply, only turning to look at him once you’d said it, just able to catch the sad, exhausted look on your boyfriend's face. You felt guilty, but before you could apologize, his face hardened again.

“Y/N I WAS UP TILL 3 AM YESTERDAY HELPING YOU WITH YOUR SCIENCE PROJECT. HOW DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO?” He yelled, which made you shrink a little as you typed your password into your laptop, but then your blood boiled.

“YES AND I AM GRATEFUL FOR THAT, BUT THERES A TEST ON MONDAY-”

“ON MONDAY?” Jack stepped up on the chair next to you and sat on the table and closed your computer in an attempt to get you to look at him, but you just crossed your arms and stared at the logo on the top of your computer. “Y/N, please, you can study all weekend for that, when your parents get back? Cmon, right now we have a little alone time and I really need-”

“Everything to be about you?” You whipped your head up to look at him. His eyes looked hurt, but you weren’t going to take it back.

“No, I’m sorry, I just, I’m really-”

“Annoying.” You glared at him, and then it was Jacks' turn to shrink, but he didn’t boil back, and you felt a twinge of guilt. “Look, just, just give me an hour.” You opened your laptop back up while Jack slumped over, flicking his pop tab in defeat. After a few minutes of the “tingggggg” noise echoing in the quiet room, you reached over, without looking up from your screen, and placed your hand on top of his fingers to stop the flicking. You kept it their longer then you meant to, and Jack rubbed your knuckles with his thumb, lightly squeezing your hand. You pulled it away abruptly, and wouldn’t let yourself look at the heartbroken look on his face.

Awhile later your phone buzzed for what felt like the thousandth time from your laptop bag and you couldn’t take it anymore. You ripped your bag across the table and dug around for it in the front pocket.

“Why the hell do you keep calling me?” You said sharply into your phone.

“I was calling to ask you why the hell Jack has been active on Instagram for the past three and a half hours?” Katherine matched your tone on the other end. You pulled your phone back from your ear to look at the time and cringed when you realized how much you’d gone over your hour. Jack had walked off into your bedroom what you thought was a few moments ago but was actually two hours ago. You were still annoyed though, and Katherine being so nosy didn’t help.

“I don’t know, he just is,” You said snarkily. “I’m studying,”

“Your parents are out of town and you SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY are studying on a Friday night instead of spending time with your boyfriend?” She sounded shocked, and you didn’t appreciate her judgment.

“Look, Kath, I-”

“Especially after he got fired yesterday.” Your heart dropped.

“Wait, what?” You prayed that you had misheard her.

“Yeah, I guess he forgot to call in yesterday, so when he didn’t show up his boss told him to, and I quote, ‘not bother showing up anytime after that either.’“ Katherine explained exasperatedly. You wanted to vomit. “Wait, how did you not know about this?”

“Um, ahhh, I gotta go,” You said, standing up quickly and hanging up as you walked towards your bedroom. You slid your phone into the pocket of your jeans and lightly tapped the closed door to open it a smidge. Jack was sitting on your bed, on the phone with someone, his back propped up against the wall, looking out the window with his forearms resting on his knees which were bent up so his feet were on top of your comforter. You pushed your door open a little more to see that he had taken his shoes off so he didn’t get dirt on your bed, which he knew you detested. A small smile pulled at the edges of your cheeks; even who he was upset with you, he went out of his way to please you. He was so selfless. Your smile fell. And because of that selflessness, he had ended up sacrificing his job to help you out. You looked back at your laptops glowing screen in the dark dining room, the blue light reflecting off the cover of your textbook. School stressed you out so much. So, so much. You had always been a very good student, but a slight dip in your performance the semester before had lead to a stern talking-to from your parents that made you absolutely terrified to get anything lower than a perfect 4.0.

You looked back at Jack, who was still on the phone, flicking paint out from under his nails, oblivious to you in the doorway. He gets that, you thought to yourself. Jack understood the pressure from your parents and the immense fearful stress school put you under. Jack was always willing to be a supportive boyfriend, no matter how hard you made it.

“Oh yeah, no (he’s/she’s/they’re) busy studying right now. (He’s/She’s/They’re) really stressed about school,” Jack said into the phone. “Hey, hey, (his/her/their) parents are really strict and put on a lot of pressure, it’s not (his/her/their) fault. Besides, I’ve never seen you turn in homework once so shut up.” Oh my god, You thought, feeling yourself tear up. He was literally standing up for you over something that you had just argued about, and on top of it, he didn’t know you were watching him, so he did this out of sheer integrity. You let your guard down for a second and let out a loud sniff, and immediately darted behind the door, hoping he didn’t see you. He continued talking to whoever it was he was on the phone with, causing you to let out a sigh of relief. Then you just stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. You peaked around the door again, just as he started to laugh.

“Hahaha, yeah me too, I haven’t had dinner yet, I’m starved.” For a moment you felt even more guilty, knowing he was waiting for you to eat, but then you felt a light bulb click on over your head. You headed into the kitchen and began to quietly open and shut cabinets, gathering the ingredients you knew you would need to surprise Jack. Your boyfriend was often fairly mysterious, but one thing everyone could tell you about him was his obsessive and at times even frightening love of snickerdoodles. As you quietly dumped cups of flour into a bowl, you couldn’t control the small giggle that escaped your mouth as you remembered what an important role snickerdoodles had played in your relationship.

“You have some snickerdoodle crumbs on your lips,” Jack had said after diving into the cookies you had made for him on his birthday. But before you could reach for a napkin, he had stopped you. “Actually, let me take care of that.” And the next thing you knew you were having your first kiss with Jack Kelly.

You carefully pulled the pan of cookies out of the oven and slid them onto a plate. You clicked the oven off and picked up the plate, your hands protected by polka-dot oven mitts. You knew you should probably wait for them to cool, but you were too impatient. You walked over to your bedroom and bumped the door open with your hip. Jack’s phone call had ended awhile ago, and he was laying on his back on your bed, his knee propped to support the notebook he was drawing on with the stub of a pencil. He looked up when you walked in, and quickly set aside the drawing materials.

“Snickerdoodles?” He looked at the plate and then back up at you. “I always welcome humankind's best invention but what is the occasion?”

“A sincere apology,” You said, you had practiced what you were going to say while you were baking.

“Oh no, I’m sorry, you don’t have to-” Jack started, shaking his head.

“No, I do.” You said, setting the plate on your comforter and gesturing for him to take a cookie. “I was being a self-centered asshole, and for that, I am so deeply sorry.” Jack began to shake his head again as he slowly broke his snickerdoodle in half. “No, I was.” You said, sliding your hand under his chin and lifting it up so he was looking you in the eye. “I am so sorry about your job, Jack. That was completely my fault and I take full responsibility. I promise I will call your boss and try and talk him into taking you back, and if he won’t I will find you another job. A good one, that you like. I promise.” Jack set his cookie back on the plate and turned his head away and swallowed hard. You moved the plate to the floor and reached your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to you.

“You are just so selfless. Truly, the sacrifices you make for everyone else, without a second thought amaze me. If you lost your job to help me with a science project, I cannot imagine the other things you have given up to make other people even the slightest bit happier.” You heard Jack choke into your shoulder, and you planted a soft kiss on his head. “You are the best person I know, Jack Kelly.” And with that, your boyfriend let out a broken sob and his shoulders began to shake as he cried. You slowly leaned back on your bed so that Jack’s head rested on your chest and his tears dripped onto your T-shirt. You rubbed his back and kissed his head, careful to be delicate. Eventually, his sobs stopped and the two of you sat in connected silence.

“Where are those snickerdoodles?” Jack sniffed. You laughed.

“They’re on the floor.” You lifted your arms so he could lean down and get them. He picked the plate up and set it up over your shoulder, grabbing the one he broken in half earlier. He kissed you sweetly before laying back down on your chest and nibbling on the cookie contentedly. You looked down at him with a warm smile on your face and in your heart.

“I love you, Jack.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

#newsies #newsies fandom #newsies fanfiction #newsies fanfic #newsies imagine #broadway #jack kelly #broadway musicals #jack newsies #newsies jack #jack kelly x reader #jack kelly imagine #jack kelly fanfic #jack kelly fanfiction

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haro-whumps · 4 years

Text

Box Boy Plurality: 40 Minutes (Explicit)

CW: explicit dubcon, slavery, caning, dehumanization, degradation, brainwashing, creepy + intimate whumper

Tag list: @thatsthewhump @whump-it @ashintheairlikesnow @fairybean101 @finder-of-rings @comfortforthepain @shameless-whumper @that-one-thespian @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @raigash @im-not-rare-im-rarr @spiffythespook @whumps-the-word @frnkieroismydaddy @whumpity--whump--whump @michelleswhumpyreblogs @jo-castle @newandfiguringitout @lumpofwhump @infested-with-blood

Masterlist

They had 40 minutes, a little less, before dinner would be ready and they would need to put away their toys to go enjoy what Soren made for them. But 40 minutes was plenty of time, and 02 was in dire need of some shaping up.

“Look at you,” Ren intoned, noting the little ways 02 listed into their palm before holding himself still again. He was good at hiding it. How much he wanted to be touched. He was good, but they were better. “You just need someone to take you in hand, don’t you?”

“Processors tried,” 02 grit out, fingers trembling where they dug into his own thighs. “Turns out I’m a handful.”

“You really do think you’re so terribly cute, don’t you?” Ren asked disdainfully, taking their hand away. They pulled the retractable cane out of their skirt pocket and hit the button that sent it springing out, the snap making Soren jump and 02 tense, eyes wide.

“I believe you’re familiar with this particular tool? You’ll have to forgive my coworker; he clearly did not know how to use it properly.” 02’s jaw worked and he swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. They were careful only to watch him in their peripheral, keeping their eyes on the cool, black painted metal in their hands.

“He used it plenty.”

“Mike is… charming, for a certain value of charming, but I do believe he couldn’t have effectively used this if his life had depended on it.” They stroked their hand down the cane, barely catching any friction against the pads of their fingertips, a caress, almost. Goosebumps rose along their skin, a pleasant sort, while their shoulders tingled with excited anticipation. They turned their head, just a hair, and laid their eyes on 02 with a pleasant sort of smile, their body still turned in around the cane. “Don’t worry,” they purred, “I’ll use it properly. This will hurt, but this is a necessary first step to fix you, 02.”

“I don’t need fixed!” 02 asserted, almost shouting.

They were out of practice (they should really go to the gym more, ugh), so it was a 50-50 shot they were toying with. But at 02’s defiance they snapped their wrist and brought the cane to a halt just a breath beneath the tip of his jaw, air currents catching, 02’s whole body jerking with fear. But he stayed on his knees. What a delicious dichotomy.

Success made Ren’s lips curl, having avoided knocking 02 in the jaw unintentionally, and they took an easy, pleasant tone when they said, “If that were true,” they stroked the tip of the cane along his jaw, watching the muscles twitch, “you wouldn’t have said so.”

Ren witnessed a struggle, 02’s body shifting only once, but his nostrils flaring, his eyes darting between the cane and Ren’s face, the gears of his little maggot brain positively whirring. In the end, what won out was 02’s desire to jerk his jaw away from the cane and spit, “Fuck you.”

They caned him on the arm, just below the shoulder, and were gratified with his cry of pain.

“This will hurt you,” they repeated, voice measured and calm, circling around him with slow ease, “but it will fix you.”

“I don’t need--” 02 yelled, cut off with a high cry of pain when they brought the cane down on his back.

“Hush, 02,” Ren murmured, as though to comfort. “I only want a plaything; this doesn’t have to hurt. As soon as you learn how to mind that nasty tongue of yours,” they brought the cane down again, satisfaction shivering through them, making their chest squeeze and their eyes momentarily close, “this will all be so much better.”

Not that Ren wasn’t having fun, at present, but it was important to give little fleas like 02 a goal to work towards.

“No,” 02 gasped quietly, with a mirthless chuckle, “No it won’t.”

“Do not disagree with me,” Ren ordered plainly, bringing the cane down again. 02 cried out in pain, and midway through it evolved into a scream of rage.

“Fuck you! Fuck all of you assholes--AAH!” Ren brought the cane down twice, one for each slight.

“02,” Ren said with a little huff. “I am not Mike; refrain from treating me like him. Each time I punish you can and will be linked to a misdeed, and each misdeed you do will be met with punishment. I’m reliable, and you’ll learn that soon enough.”

“Oh, gee, thanks Exalted!” 02 gasped, his forehead pressed to the floor, now, thin frame heaving with his rapid breaths, sweat giving his skin a pleasant sheen and aggravated red bright on his back. “Thank you so fucking much for letting me rely on the fact you’ll beat my ass whenever I don’t do ‘good enough!’”

“You’re welcome,” Ren said cheerily, whacking him with the cane again. Their arms were going to get tired, if they had to keep this up all week. “That was for the sarcasm.”

“Fuck you!” 02 sobbed, crying now. They struck him again. The cane was heavy, metal, and, well, a cane. It wasn’t meant to be an endurance tool; carelessness could easily fuck up a person’s ribcage or, if striking somewhere vulnerable like a fucking chump, a person’s organs or spinal column. The bruises they’d already left would be heavy, dark, painful with each movement of his core or arms, and uncomfortable to stand or walk with. They were surprised he’d lasted this long. Precious, sweet, delicate Soren wouldn’t have made it past the first blow before he would be begging for mercy--not that Ren would ever hurt Soren like this, of course not! But it was fun to know that they had a more durable plaything, now, something stupid and spiteful that would grant them every excuse to be as mean as they could possibly want.

“If you vomit from pain, you’ll be the one to clean it up,” Ren commented, nudging the side of 02’s face with the cane’s tip and admiring the flushed, wet mess they found.

“I’d rather v-vomit than,” 02 gasped and swallowed, choking down his sobs, “l-lick your fucking boots,” 02 rasped, and Ren rolled their eyes. They stomped on the back of his head, slamming his face into the concrete, and raised the cane high, high above their head. He cried out, in fear, in pain, in the exhaustion that came with both, his dumb mouth pushing his body to its limit, and, for the first time since his arrival at Ren’s doorstep, tried to physically struggle away. But he was too weak for that, now. He was injured and feeble and Ren felt on top of the fucking world, delighted grin on their face.

“Exalted!” Soren cried, colliding into them, pressing his lithe little body up against theirs and gripping at the front of their blouse. They blinked, shocked, and momentarily forgot all about 02 beneath their foot. “Exalted, p-please, he’s just, just having a hard time, adjusting, please, you’ve taught him good, Exalted, it’s just that he’s--a, a s-stupid m-m-mutt. Y-You have better, um, better things, you could do, than, um, w-waste your time on, on a w-worm.” Soren begged with his wide, pretty eyes, full of fear, his brain just barely moving fast enough to keep up with his mouth, and Ren barked a laugh at hearing him talk like that. He was… terribly transparent.

“Oh, my little angel?” they asked, letting the cane dangle loosely by their side and caressing his face with their free hand. “And what ‘better things’ could I be doing?”

Soren took one, then two quick, rushed breaths, and then lifted up onto his tiptoes to kiss Ren. They hugged him one-armed around his waist, holding his body in place as he pressed into them so sweetly. Cute and submissive and acting just like he did when he wanted it. When he pulled away, he smiled at them, and he was such a bad liar, every ounce of it looked forced. But Ren didn’t mind. Ren kind of liked it.

He tugged at them, by the sleeve of their blouse, by the waistline of their skirt, and coaxed them over to the thick, heavy metal pipe that ran from the floor to ceiling of their laundry room. They let themself be gently pushed up against it, fully aware of what Soren was doing. But they let it happen. If Soren wanted to sink down so neat and gracefully onto his knees and tug down their skirt and underwear, why should they stop him? If he wanted to spare 02 the punishment he rightfully deserved, well, they’d have plenty of opportunities to punish him later. Why not let Soren take Ren’s cock into his mouth? Why not lean back against the pipe with a pleased hum and a hand idly caressing Soren’s cheek?

They deserved this, honestly. To get a nice little go-around with a bad mouthed brat, followed up with Soren sucking them off. It was a decadence. They were drooling. They were brimming with electric energy from the caning, and it was all too easy for that to shift south with beautiful, lovely Soren at their feet, slender fingers cupping their balls and anchoring himself on their thigh.

“Exalted?” Soren asked, slipping off of their cock and staring up at them with his big brown eyes. “Will you grip my hair?” he asked, his hand covering the one they had on his cheek, as though to keep it from moving. He was very, very obviously trying to coax them into putting away the cane, probably made nervous by its continued presence--or wanting to spare 02 the nerves. But, well, why not let him coax them? They were in an indulgent mood.

And Soren was good with his mouth. They retracted the cane and let it drop on top of their skirt on the floor, gripping him by the hair and forcing him down their cock. He knew how to hollow out his cheeks, how to run his tongue up along the underside of their dick, the pressure and strength that felt best when he fondled their balls. He was so, so good at sucking dick, and another pleased, satisfied part of Ren reared its head. He’d been decent, when they’d first started fucking him, but his skill had grown exponentially since his purchase. They were responsible for this skill. They had been the one to make him like this, mold him into this, teach him and shape him to their will.

“Pretty bird,” Ren praised, head leaned back against the pipe, and when they slit their eyes open, they smiled. 02 was watching. Horrified. Disgusted. Guilty. Rapt. He couldn’t look away, they were sure.

“Such a good mouth, Soren,” Ren praised, the words directed at 02. He looked up at their face, and flinched, still lying on the floor in agony and weakness. Unable to spare himself the pain, unable to stop Soren from rescuing him from his own idiocy.

They dragged it out. Each time they would get close to their orgasm they would pull Soren off, make him mouth along the side of their cock, reminding him to breathe. They would, if the surge hit them too fast, too close, sometimes press Soren’t face into their hip, holding him there, crooning at him about how good he was doing, how wonderful it felt. They praised him loudly, frequently, a reminder to both pets that good behavior was rewarded. Sure, Soren had interrupted them, presumed he might manipulate them, but his knees would pay the price for that; they weren’t worried.

And 02 got to watch and hear all of it, in useless pain, and Ren finally let themself come, to that thought specifically, to the knowledge that they ever so thoroughly owned both of these boys. And the fact that there was nothing either of them could do about it.

“Oh, perfect timing angel,” Ren praised, stroking his jaw as his throat worked, listening to the alerting beep from the kitchen. They turned their eyes fully on 02 and grinned. “Time’s up!” they announced cheerfully, making his eyes blow wide again, and a keen rose off him.

“Oh don’t be such a little bitch, mutt,” Ren scolded lightly as they raised their skirt back around their waste, sliding the cane into their pocket as Soren wiped at his mouth. “It’s just dinner. Get up.”

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metalheadtilimdead · 3 years

Text

I’m fed up.

This is the only place I can let my feelings fly without family or my kids teacher seeing this negativity. I’m just exhausted. I keep allowing others to walk all over me and get away with it, like nothing happened, they move on with their fake ass lives while I’m still here, stuck and totally lost. Please someone, help me figure this out.

First, let it be known that I have acquired a grocery list of psychological problems over the years that’ve just grown worse. That being said, I KNOW I’m not the best person to be around right now, I get that, and I make that known to people around me. I truly do want the best for others. I want to get better, I AM going to get better. I want to be the best me I can be for my kids and myself. But recently I was ignorant and allowed someone else in, going against my word to myself, I still let them. So obviously I’m to blame here, but it’s still not right. He filled me FULL of sweet things that I was stupid enough to think was genuine. He acted (pretty good in fact) as though he was the light in my darkness. He did things for me, as in spent money on me, when I begged them not to. He would jump to doing things for me EVEN though I never asked for a thing. So in moments I called him out on his disrespect and lack of care he would throw all the things “he did out of love” right into my face like his actions were okay because he did things for me (things I never asked for people!). FOR EXAMPLE:

He would be put in his place. I would show him how he was being disrespectful and how i didn’t need or want that in my life he would say,

“But after all did for you....”

ARE YOU SERIOUS?! If that’s not a mind fuck I don’t know what is. He did things like that all the time. As if buying my “love” or whatever was possible. Hell no. I didn’t ask for anything.

After reminding him all I wanted was friendship, nothing more, so I could really work on myself, and find myself again he didn’t care. That’s the first thing he never truly respected. Instead he made it a point to call a million times a day, show up to my house whenever they pleased(after I’d ask for some space), fill my inbox full of these sweet ludicrous messages, provoke any sort of sexual activity, remind me of how all over the place I was as if I didn’t make that known already, and would question my every move like we were together, which we weren’t, even though I proved myself to be totally a 100% genuine friend. I told them I didn’t want a relationship, even I knew that was too much for me right now. But that’s a huge part of me that hasn’t ever left, I actually give a shit about people and how they feel. Using that to his advantage. He would act possessive, when I would say I needed space he would follow that with

“Oh for how long?”

“Are you not going to talk to me? “

“Can I still come over?”

“Do you hate me?”

“Please don’t.”

“I should just go die then.”

The most popular one was,

“I’ll just kill myself”.

What kind of messed up person can you be to do that to someone?!! Someone that is going through a shit ton while trying to be nice and be a friend...what the hell?! Even knowing about all of my struggles, how vulnerable I was that did not stop him from choosing to be worse for me. He’d apologize and say he was going to change or had changed (like it was an overnight thing)😅 which obviously never happened. He never changed, he just played that annoying blame game like a child. IM NOT the best me right now, I know that, I wouldn’t want to be a part of my life either, but that’s just it. I tried to get away, but instead of listening he pushed and prodded me continuously knowing the heart I have for others which tends to obviously make it difficult to set and keep boundaries. He used that to their advantage. So now after all his disrespect towards me and my growth as a person he wants to keep playing the blame game, the game he’s probably used his whole life, to blame his actions and choices on everything else but the real culprit. Himself. I’m done giving passes to these people who everyone sees as sweet and innocent. So I hope my word vomit helps someone in my similar predicament. Growth is important. Get out of your comfort zones and push to be your best. The right people will push you higher and higher. But this gal only needs her two sweet wonderful bright kiddos to push her higher and higher. Screw all you life sucking, dream stomping, disrespecting barbarous creatures. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

#fed up #exhausted #growth #mindshift #darkness #psychological #helpothers #authencity #fucking cowards #important #mental health #advice #mutual aid

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marvelswinterfrost · 4 years

Text

1943 (PART 6)

MASTERLIST

...

1944, United States of America:

"Loki, stop it." Bucky groaned as Loki watched every move he made. He's gotten him back from europe almost a week ago and since then kept his eyes on the wounded sergeant. At first, Bucky actually enjoyed the attention he got but his 'boyfriend' as he secretly called him, went a little bit too far. He was not a child that needed to be mothered, what he needed was Loki to be how he remembered him.

"Seriously, stop." he begged, rolling his eyes. It was barely 7am and all Bucky wanted to do was make his breakfast in peace. But his boyfriend was always one foot behind him...wherever he went.

Loki watched as Bucky scrambled the eggs in the frying pan, looking for the tiniest tremble in his hand. He'd gotten used to all the nervous tics James had developed. Traces of PTSD that he so desperately tried to hide, but without success. It started with nightmares, that kept James restless during the night; he barely slept and if he did he kept whispering distressing pleas. It wasn't that Loki himself was a light sleeper, but every time Bucky made the slightest noise, he was awake in an instant. He sat with him, leaning against the headboard of the bed holding him tighlty pressed against his chest and whispered soothing words in hope it would calm him down a little bit. Once Bucky's breath started to even out and his focus on the real world started to grow stronger again, he'd tilt up his head, resting his finger under James' chin. He'd make sure that he looked at him, not something else. Bucky's mind had to focus on only HIM. Every time his eyes were stained in tears, red from the burning pain. Loki's heart broke every time at seeing his love being exhausted from fighting his demons all day and night. It was hard keeping a smile on his face when Bucky's eyes looked so lost up at him. But he managed. For him.

The next sign Loki had noticed were the tremors in his hands whenever Bucky held a glass or a book. Sometimes it happened when he was cooking as well. James never mentioned it, never talked about it. He'd just put the thing he was holding down, storming out of the apartment and went for a walk. The first time it happened Loki thought nothing about it, he hadn't even seen his hand tremble; jut him leaving. But the one time he did, he carefully took Bucky's hand in his, not saying anything. He would smile gently at him, squeezing the other man's hand softly from time to time. Loki decided that James would come to him when he wanted to talk and unless it got even worse, he wouldn't push him.

"I am not doing anything." Loki said, raising his eyebrows.

"You keep acting weird. Look, I appreciate that you want to look after me, but I'm doing fine. There is no need to follow me around. Jesus, I think I can't even go to the bathroom without you standing in the door. " he laughed. Bucky did this a lot, if Loki was being honest with himself. Trying to hide his pain with humour. He took a deep breath, concern covering his face as he watched his love putting the scrambled eggs onto his plate and walking to the small wooden dinging table. Loki leaned against the counter; his arms folded over his chest.

"I should be worried. I almost lost you, James."

'Oh no', Bucky thought. Loki was indeed being serious. He always used 'James' when he was about to switch into mother-mode. He looked up, still putting the eggs into his mouth.

"Loki, I didn't even get hurt that badly. Really. I'm alright."

"You are obviously not. Stop telling yourself that you're over what happened. I can still see how you struggle with all of this. The tremors, the nightmares. The list goes on and on."

"That's all temporary. It will go away." Bucky took the now empty plate and put it in the sink. He turned to look at his boyfriend and smiled cheekily at him. "Now, what are we gonna do now, doll?" he let his hand wander over the god's chest down to his waistband, stealing a kiss from him.

"We're not done talking, love." Loki said, holding his boyfriend's face in his hands.

"I know. But for now, we are." And Loki respected that. "What about going back to bed? It's too early to be up anyway. We should enjoy our time alone since Steve and Peggy are coming later on. But for now-"he got into the bed, throwing the covers to the side and patting the empty bedside. "-it's just the two of us."

Loki shook his head in defeat, chuckling at how he always got his ways. He too went back to bed, cradling Bucky in his arms and nuzzling his face in his neck. He remembered doing this before James went to war. The day before he was being sent away. But doing it now was a totally different feeling. Loki was sure that whatever happens, he won't let him go again. Not with Steve, nor with anyone else. – At least not alone.

"I need to ask you something important, dear." Loki said, remembering how he promised himself to talk to Bucky about their relationship. They had never made it official, had never talked about it either.

"Mhm." Bucky hummed; his eyes closed as he lay relaxed in Loki's arms.

"How would you describe our...current situation?" he didn't really know how to put his question into words which was quite unusual for him. The poet. The GOD. And he came up with...this. He's definitely spent too much time on Midgard. He just had to make sure that Thor wouldn't become aware of this. He'd want to meet Bucky, probably congratulate him for finding his "true love" as well. But that's just how he was. And Loki would rather avoid such circumstances.

"Did you just call our relationship a 'current situation'?" Bucky laughed amused while letting his fingers run through the short black curls. They haven't left his-well, now it was apparently their- apartment since they came back and thus Loki hadn't spent too much time with styling his hair or putting on fancy suits that made him look like some business man. He had to admit though, having him spend less time in the bathroom and more time in their bed was definitely better.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to offend you in any way. I was just- curious. We have never talked about what we are. I-"

"God, Loki. Please shut up." the other man smiled and turned to look at him. "We're in a relationship, what do you think we are? Roommates? We're sharing a damn bed!" he thought for a second and then smirked. "And I love you, doll. I love you SO much." leaning in he pressed his lips against Loki's who deepened the kiss immediately. They broke apart, both panting heavily. "Shit, you were so far up my ass I would have married you on the spot."

"Charming, love. Really charming."

It was 5 minutes later that someone suddenly knocked on the door. Both Loki and Bucky looked at each other in confusion. It definitely couldn't be Steve or Peggy. They were supposed to meet them in the afternoon at a bar not come here in the morning ruining their 'make out' time.

"Who's that? Were you expecting someone?" Loki asked, fixing his gaze on the door as the knocks continued. The person on the other side of the door seemed to be getting impatient as the hits to the wood grew stronger by second.

"No. Would have told you otherwise." Bucky started to get up, throwing the covers aside. But before he even had both of his feet on the floor, Loki gently pushed him back on the bed.

"Stay here, I'll be dealing with this." Bucky rolled his eyes, not liking how his boyfriend went back in his apparently ever lasting mother mode.

"I can do this myself, Loki."

"This is not up for discussion."

James thought for a moment, not liking how Loki's eyes bore through him with such an immense fear. He was sure he'd be able to handle whoever was on the other side of the door. He went to war, damnit!

"Alright, fine." but he agreed. If Loki was feeling safer that way, he'd let him handle this-but just this one time.

The god stood up, walking on light feed closer to the door. For a short period the knocking had stopped. He thought maybe the person was gone now, thinking no one was home. But as Loki came to a halt, the knocking continued. The shadow of a tall, broad figure pressed itself through the small gap between the door and the floor, making Loki wince. James did nothing. He sat on the bed, his feet crossed and watched. Something was dangling beside the man, Loki noticed. Something...heavy. He couldn't make out what it was since the long coat, Loki guessed it was, that reached the man's ankles covered half of the item with its shadow. Maybe it was a briefcase? It could be a briefcase.

He used his magic and let a dagger appear in his right hand, ready to stab whoever dared trying to enter this apartment. Upon seeing this, Bucky rushed to him and whispered.

"Are you fucking serious? What you gonna do with that dagger? You can't just stab him!"

"Maybe his intentions are bad, James. What if he's here to hurt you." Loki angrily whispered back as he did not understand what was wrong with occasionally stabbing people to protect what's his.

"Well, but maybe he is not! We're not going to stab him, put that dagger away and just open the door!"

"This is a reckless decision."

"My apartment, my decision, dollface."

"Very well." And so Loki let his most glorious weapon disappear. He was still not all too happy about it, but it was what his love desired and who was he to deny his wishes?

He carefully shoved Bucky behind him. Just enough so that in case of an attack he'd be shielded by his body. The other hand was on the cold door handle, gripping it firmly.

He finally opened the creaking door, holding his breath as this situation made him a little bit anxious. Not- of course- because he was afraid of him getting hurt, but because of Bucky standing behind him, fragile and in obvious need of protection from being hurt again. Well, at least that's what Loki thought to be true.

Loki gripped the door firmly, holding it open and looked at the tall man shocked as he came into view. Whoever he expected the person to be when he sneaked through the room, he did not expect this.

"By the norns, what are you doing here, Thor?!" He quietly yelled at the man in front of him who was clearly excited about seeing him.

"Brother!" Thor yelled as he crashed his chest against Loki's, embracing him in a tight hug. But Loki quickly pushed him off.

"By Odin, back off." He whispered threatening, looking like a deer lost in the headlights. He looked at his brother and frowned at his clothing. He was still wearing his asgardian armour, mjölnir in his right hand as well. 'So, it wasn't a briefcase then', Loki thought. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him inside the apartment, making sure no one could see him standing in the hallway. But after all this loud noise he made he was sure he was now the main attraction in this building. As he closed the door, he turned around, looking at him frantically.

"You could have at least changed. Look at you! How will people think you're from midgard, you thoughtless moron?" Loki pointed his hands up and down Thor's body in disgust.

"I am pretty sure I was careful enough, Loki." Thor laughed and looked around the apartment. Once he spotted Bucky, half naked standing behind his brother he pushed Loki aside which earned him an angry groan.

"You must be James." He said, smiling from ear to ear as he put his right hand on Bucky's shoulder and squeezed. "I've heard a lot about you...well, actually I haven't because I didn't know you existed until like two days ago. You see, my brother has never mentioned you before and I found out because I got a little bit bored." He rambled, making wild gestures with his hands.

"Uh, James Barnes, yeah. Who are you again?" The sergeant nervously asked as he gazed from Thor to Loki with a confused look.

"I am Thor Odinson, son of Odin and Loki here is my brother." Thor smiled happily, never breaking eye contact. Loki crept up behind him, looking over his brother's shoulder at his boyfriend with raised eyebrows.

"Adopted."

"Thor, huh?" Bucky said, looking to be deep in thought as he browsed his memory for any information about him. Luckily he actually found something that Loki had told them on the day they've met. He smiled up at the taller man and held his hand out for him to take. But all Thor did was looking at Bucky's hand with a puzzled look.

"Loki told me something about you. Not a lot though." Bucky looked at Loki with a tiny smile. "How come you haven't told him anything about me, doll?" he asked provocative, obviously not being all too serious about it.

"I haven't been to Asgard lately. I thought it to be a better idea to keep it a secret until it was official." he politely explained and Bucky understood. Afterall it was uncertain that he'd make it back from war. Loki must have seen it as a precaution.

"But how come you knew where I was then?" Loki asked his brother who now roamed the apartment and set his hammer on the table.

"Don't be ridicolous, Loki. I haven't seen you in over two years and things in Asgard are pretty boring at the moment so I asked Heimdall to show me where you are." He turned to look at Loki, his arms spread wide as he laughed. "And here you are! Midgard-a quite odd decision for you to make but if it makes you happy." Thor winked at Bucky and smirked. "And I'm guessing I found the reason for your stay as well."

"Alright, stop it, Thor. What are you doing here?" Loki pushed as his brother seemed to be drifting off the main question.

"Just visiting, really. Our father has been making peace with the Jotuns again and-"

"YOUR father, Thor. Not mine." Loki interrupted as he threw a shirt to his boyfriend to cover his bare chest in front of their new and uninvited guest. Bucky gladly took it and put it on, not feeling all too well with a stranger seeing him almost completely naked.

"Stop being whiny, Loki."

"I am not whiney, Thor!"

"Alright, I'm sorry for interrupting your little conversation but that sounds like something personal that you two should discuss in private." Bucky said, scratching his neck as the whole situation made him feel a little bit uncomfortable. He wasn't used to families having... difficulties.

"Well, yes. You're right. Maybe we should discuss this when we've got the time, brother." Loki said and nodded at Bucky's suggestion. At the moment, they had their hands full anyway which barely made any room for other things.

The two brothers agreed on continuing their conversation some time else and let Bucky have the word. He tried his best telling Thor that he'd just interrupted a very private moment he and Loki had which did not quite get through him at first. Unlike Loki, Thor hadn't spent any time on midgard, which made it difficult for him to understand certain phrases. To him it all sounded very cryptic. When Thor understood what Bucky had meant he excused himself, congratulated them both for their relationship - just like Loki had thought - and left, which left Bucky and Loki enough time to continue exactly where they had been before the unexpected visit.

The time flew by and the morning soon because noon. The sun was still up, but hung low as the day would soon come to an end. As promised, they met with Steve and Peggy in the bar just around the block from where they lived. Both of them were wearing their uniforms as they sat at a small table, obviously working on some plan. Upon seeing the big map spread out and different marks and lines drawn carefully on it, Loki sensed something bad was about to happen. Well, maybe not entirely bad but it was clearly something he did not enjoy.

"Stevie!" Bucky yelled as he and Loki took two extra chairs and placed them at the other side of the table Steve and Peggy were sitting at. Steve looked up from the map, only now being aware of their presence.

"Hey, Buck!" he smiled as he stood up for a quick hug. He turned to look at Loki and nodded. "Loki." It wasn't that he didn't respect him, he just wanted the best for his friend and to him, a 'god of mischief' would be the complete opposite. How could he know he could trust this man when his name was the literal proof that he was not up to anything good?

When Bucky was done hugging his best friend he turned to Peggy, saluting in his civil clothing. If he had known this would be a formal meeting he'd wore his uniform as well.

"Ma'am."

"Sergeant Barnes." Peggy smiled softly, appreciating that he showed her this much respect. It was uncommon for her to recieve any respect at all from recruits like him so it was a welcome gesture. Even Loki, although he didn't know what to say, greeted her; his right hand placed over his chest as he bowed slightly in front of her. He wasn't a sergeant or a military person so this was the only thing he came up with as a casual handshake would be anything but polite in his eyes. He had so much respect for what she did. He had heard about her military history and was completely stunned. Even if it wasn't anything near what the Valkyries did in Asgard it was still something that he considered to be brave, if reckless. But not bad at all for a mortal.

"What are you planning?" Bucky asked curious as he inspected the map on the table.

"We're planning on putting together a team, sergeant Barnes." Peggy said as she drew another mark on the big paper.

"A team for what exactly?" he asked. They've just been back for a week and Steve was not letting go of it. 'Typical', James thought.

"To track down Hydra bases and bring an end to all of this. We can't let them win the war." Steve finished for her. Bucky noticed that when they were talking they would glance at each other a lot and smile like two dumbasses in love. 'Good for him', he thought; happy that his friend has finally found someone.

"So?" Steve asked, looking between Loki and Bucky. "What about you two? Would you wanna join our team?"

Already knowing his answer, Bucky looked at his boyfriend who shot him a dangerous glare that told him 'absolUTELY NOT'. Without saying anything he raise his eyebrows, looking like a lost puppy.

'But we have to help Steve, doll.'

'No we don't. You can't go out there and risk your life a second time.'

'You're with me this time. We're going to be okay.'

'I am still in doubt this would change anything.'

'Please- we have to help them. It's our duty!'

'Love, I'm not even from this realm.'

'You won't let me go otherwise so I will have to convince you to come along.'

The silence on the table was a big contrast to the loud music playing in the background and the soldiers drinking and yelling at each other. To both Steve and Peggy, who were watching the two men with great interest, this whole situation didn't make any sense. They hadn't talked. Just wiggled with their eyebrows and widened their eyes from time to time but yet they seemed to communicate.

Bucky looked Loki deep into his eyes, gulping as he took his boyfriends hands in his, just like Loki would do when his hands would suddenly start to tremble. Once again he raised his eyebrows and smiled up at him.

'Did it work?'

'...Yes. Yes it worked. You conviced me.'

James let go of Loki's hands and turned back to face Steve and Peggy with the biggest smile. He nodded, telling them that both him and Loki would be joining them. Because, afterall he was with Steve 'til the end of the line. He looked back at Loki, winking and biting his lower lip softly.

'I swear, once we're home I'm gonna make up for this.'

'You better do, love.'

TBC

#winterfrost #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #loki #loki laufeyson #bucky #bucky barnes #lokixbucky #buckyxloki #loki/bucky #bucky/loki #fanfiction #fanfic #ff #fic

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nemobookaholic · 4 years

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What if ...

Loki where a 21st century woman?

Part 2

Scene 8

Back at home, we enter a room where Kevin and Loki are sitting face to face. As Kevin had said, an hour a day - now we know he meant it. Yet, just because he looks like an Irish leprechaun, it doesn’t mean he has the same wit. Indeed we can assume that he has inherited more but the ginger hair. Loki seems like she’d figured it out already, according to her staring. It’s like the game we all played as kids. A staring contest, losers gonna look away first. Both of them want to be at the winning side. We start to wonder what kind of therapeutic use this game shall have, as Kevin breaks the silence, not looking away of course.

‘You really think that you are Loki of Asgard?’

‘I do not think so. I know who I am!’

Not the best opening line for a therapist. Here we see the trainee.

‘Good… had you ever the desire to — well, use the boy’s bathroom, or play with cars instead of dolls?’

We move our angle, so we can see what Kevin writes down on his notepad.

‘Seriously? That is what you want to know? — To be honest I was thought to play with knives and illusions, as well as with my brothers foolishness. Trust me, gender never was a big deal for me. I can be whatever I want to,’ Lokis boasts.

° narcissism

° dissociative identity disorder

° a lot of anger/rage

Is what we can read by now. Dr. Freud might had added hysteria.

‘Tell me about your brother,’ is Kevins next question.

‘I would not know why,’ Loki appeals stubborn.

‘We have a deal, remember?’

‘I don’t see any sense in it, as you obviously don’t believe me, but here you go. Thor, god of thunder. Not the brightest glowing candle. Likes his hammer… a lot. Future king of Asgard, if you’d ask him. Has a soft spot for Midgard. I came here to say hello,’ she’s checking on her fingernails while speaking.

‘To me it sounds like there is a rivalry between you and your brother?’ for a second we catch discomfort in Lokis eyes.

‘He’s not my real brother. It’s not that long ago when I was told, I am adopted.’

‘Who told you so?’

‘My fa…, Odin. He promised me a throne! Just to tell me, that I was nothing more than a hostage.’

°daddy issues

Kevins pen is wandering on the paper.

‘Tell me about your mum.’

‘She’s kind an loving. I’m afraid, I might never see her again, only in my dreams.’

‘Why do you think so?’

‘Never mind! There is witchcraft, even in dreams. You would not understand. — By the way, how come this reality is blocking out almost every magic?’ Loki’s time for questions.

‘Honestly? As you really seem to believe it, I have some bad news for you: There is no magic, and no gods or stuff like that. Most of us, including me, don’t believe in sorcery or different realms. I’m sorry to disappoint you.’

We don’t fail to notice how Kevin is struggling, to take the topic serious. Meanwhile Loki has an enlightening moment.

‘That must be part of the problem! People don’t believe…,’ she mumbles to herself. Aloud she says, ‘tell me about your world, please. I know a bit from Barton but me seems this one is unlike his. What is the history of this country for instance?’ Lokis eyes are glowing.

‘Are you kidding me? — You don’t know?’ Kevin looks puzzled.

‘Would I ask otherwise?’ annoyance is speaking out of her voice.

Kevin starts a lesson in english history. Loki is rather interested in the war of the roses and the Tudor King. We start to get a bad feeling, that this might won’t end well; with her question, ‘you are saying, England has never grown out of monarchy and is ruled by a Queen until today?!’

‘Yes and a King, - people always seem to forget about him, poor guy,’ Kevin sights.

‘Tell me everything about them!’ there is a lot of motivation in Loki’s behaviour now.

‘I think that’s enough for today. I’m not that interested into royal gossip, - if you want to know more, you can look it up on the internet, or go to the library,’ he sounds tired.

We suspect that this session didn’t proceed as planed. He has our empathy, cause he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Or at least he doesn’t believe it. Not all of us would, but we have the benefit of knowing Loki, and we are just observer. We should feel sorry for Kevin, as he doesn’t realise what Loki’s mind is wandering of to. We remember well, how much Loki desires a throne. Not that she didn’t mention it while talking about Odin.

‘The leprechaun showed me how to use this thing called internet. I’m impressed! I had known that it could be a useful weapon, yet I had no clue how much. It’s like an addiction, all those informations. Makes it a pushover to take over this kingdom! Ehehehehe. I read on, a plan is growing, I like how it sparkles. The discovery of the actual age, of the monarchs, makes it even better. Their son isn’t that much younger. To my satisfaction, there are two princes next in row, to follow the crown. Not the baddest idea to become a woman. Nothing is going to stop me!

‘Helloho! I’m talking to you, freak. Stop that creepy laughing and help me to cook dinner, would you?! If you want to share our home, you can do something for it. Maybe Kevin is alright with you behaving like the Queen of England, well I’ll tell you something, I ain’t!’ the warrior has her hands pressed to her hips and usually I wouldn’t give much about her complaining, but for the sake of learning from them, I follow her into the kitchen.’

Scene 9

Picturing Loki and Beatrix in the kitchen, we feel a little smile stealing onto our faces. The idea, of Loki doing the cooking, is hilarious. Beatrix commanding her, comes close to a catastrophe and is a test for Loki’s self-control.

Let’s get a bit closer and listen to their conversation, shall we?

‘Did you never cut a tomato?’ we hear Bea.

‘Not with a dull knife. If you would have let me use my dagger, I would have been faster!’ Loki mutters.

‘Yeah, as if this dirty piece, wherever you hide it, was made to cut vegetables with. I don’t like to imagine your family dinners,’ Bea folds her arms, waiting for Loki to get the veggies ready.

‘Sure, the are awkward. I have to approve, you are right. The dagger was made to cut into meat,’ Loki let the knife run through her fingers, staring at Bea in disgust.

‘Sorry to disappoint you missy, but one of our rules is: No meat for dinner, nor in this kitchen. I am vegan and no dead animals will cross our door!’ Bea turns around to light the gas of the stove.

‘Who said I was talking about animals?!’ Loki mutters to herself.

‘What?’ Bea turns around with a pan in her hand, pointing it at the other girl.

‘Nothing. I’m done with the vegetables, what’s next?’ Loki grins, swirling the knife again.

‘Would you please stop?!’ she points a finger at Lokis hand, ‘it’s a bit dangerous, don’t you think?’

‘What, the knife?’ she looks at it impenitently, ‘not really, unless I decide it should.’ Loki grins again. Annoying Bea, gives her satisfaction.

The girl, almost done with her nerves by now, tries to take away the sharp object from her reckless flatmate. Unfortunately, Loki is a lot taller and has enough strength back, to use her magic pockets. What makes the knife disappear every time Bea comes close.

‘What are you, David Copperfield for the poor? Hand me the bloody knife, or I swear I’ll…,’ she doesn’t come any further as Kevin enters the room, in the exact moment things almost escalated.

‘I see you start to get along a bit better?’ he smiles naively. We start to wonder how he will ever be a psychologist? Maybe he just picked the wrong job?

From Lokis face we capture a innocent, but satisfied look into Kevins direction, as Beatrix let go of her to roast the vegetables.

‘Veggies again, … what are you cooking love?’ Kevin steps closer to see what is in the pan.

‘Rice with tomato, carrots and peas,’ Bea lists the ingredients.

‘Delicious, can’t wait for it,’ he rolls his eyes behind her back, ‘I’ll cook something proper when she has her night out,’ he whispers into Lokis ear, while handing her a towel. For a second she stands there holding it, not sure what Kevin wants. Soon enough she figures, he wants to do the dishes while Bea is busy at the stove. We might make a guess, that Kevin is frightened of his friend, when she’s in such a mood. Or maybe we have to admit, that he is more cunning than anyone could tell.

‘The food that the warrior princess has cooked, isn’t as bad as I’d expected. Not that I would tell her. She’s a ghastly person. I’ll have to tolerate it, until I’ve found a way into Buckingham palace. For now I can have my fun with both of them. Nonetheless I’ll have to keep an eye on Kevin. He hasn’t shown all his cards yet, I can sense it. Plus I’m unsure if I can trust him.

Anyway, it’s exhausting with them.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough rest, but I’m dead tired. All I want to do, is to lie down and think of a plan, to infiltrate the royal family. To my disappointment, we have to do the dishes — again! For the warrior has done the cooking. Not enough that she forced me to help her with it.

‘Are we done now? I’m tired,’ I tell the leprechaun after the last, clean fork.

‘Sure, but don’t you want to join us? We have our movie night. Could be a good chance to get to know each other better,’ he shows me those puppy eyes. Something in them beg me to join, I can’t help myself.

‘Fine. If it’s that important to you,’ I sigh.

Plans can wait until tomorrow, I guess. Let’s see what kind of pleasures a movie night might bring.

‘Yay! I’ll make popcorn and get everything ready. Do you want to take a shower in the meantime?’

That’s a good idea. It has been a long time since water has seen my body. A short sniff approves my misgiving. I smell.

The ginger almost pushes me into the bathroom, while explaining everything. He hands me fresh clothes and faster than I can soak in all informations, he has left. I’m alone in the middle of the tiny room. The only space, to place my wardrobe, is the toilet seat or optional, the ground. I have to make a sacrifice, fresh clothes onto the toilet, the stuff I’m wearing onto the ground. I can’t wait to feel the water refreshing me. The only thing that keeps me away from it, is the bloody bra! What kind of sadistic person has invented this fastener?

Probably one of the torturers from Hel.

The quiet ‘plop’ as it opens, couldn’t be more satisfying. I almost jump into the shower and turn the water on. A mistake as it turns out. The water is cooking. It burns my freed breasts.

Who the fuck takes a shower this hot?!

The water becomes a moderate temperature, as I soap myself with a strange smelling piece, I’ve found on the tray in the corner.

Afterwards my hair is nearly impossible to comb — should I have used those bottles instead? Probably would have thought about it, if I had not been that distracted by my new body.

Anyway, time to get dressed and see what kind of night lies ahead.

I stop after entering the living room, not sure what is expected of me.

The two mortals are sitting on a sofa, cuddling.

‘Ah, there you are. Come, sit! We have waited for you,’ Kevin says.

‘Like forever. What have you done in there?’ the warrior is still grumpy, but not as much as during dinner.

I take the offered seat, on the edge of the sofa, cause the leprechaun is looking at me in expectancy, ignoring the comment of the veggie queen.

‘Come a little closer, or do you want to fall over? Allow yourself some comfort,’ he hands me a bowl with ‘Popcorn’ as he calls it, and I’m surprised by it’s buttery, salty taste. I like it!

I almost start to get comfortable but the strange behaviour of my seat mate destroys that feeling. Why is he sniffing at me?

My gaze must have made him aware of his doing. He stops, turning red.

‘I’m sorry! It’s just… which bottle of shampoo did you use?’ he wants to know.

‘None of them. Didn’t trust their substances. I’m all for the old-fashioned way in showering! I took the soap.’

The burst out of laughter from the girl disturb me, ‘what have I done wrong?’

‘Oh well — that was Hina’s special soap, against rash. We try to avoid it, because of this strong smell of marigold -‘

‘Now you smell like a granny!’ Bea’s giggles interrupt Kevin.

‘- you must know, sometimes it makes your skin burn or become itchy, if you use it without the need to ease your rash,’ he adds.

‘Great! Thanks for the warning.’ I almost yell at him.

‘Calm down. Here, have a nice glass of wine and a blanked, you must be cold.’

I suppose he never heard of Frostgiants, anyway, I take the blanked and if it’s only to cover this ugly thing that doesn‘t deserve the name pyjamas. A big sip of wine, helps me over the fact that the warrior is still laughing. I swear by Odin, I’m going to cut her throat , in her sleep, if she doesn’t stop soon.

‘ ‘kay ladies, enough silliness for now. Let’s get to the movie. Are you ready?’ Kevin asks, while he presses a button on the remote control.

The movie starts while Kevin explains to me that it is called ‘Star Wars’. After a few minutes I lose interest in it. This species has no clue what is going on in the universe. Not to mention the horrible special effects and this stupid emperor in a mask, calling himself Vader … they should meet Thanos!

At some point I decide to enjoy the food and the wine to let my thoughts wander. To correct the movie was fun, until they got angry with me because of the steady interruptions.

All those delicious details I’ve learned today!

The grandson of the Queen, Edmund, has been in the newspapers a lot, for his excessive party live. Would be stupid if I didn’t use it to make my way into the palace. The only problem will be my lack of patience. Every detail has to be perfect, so this croutons won’t realise how I infiltrate them. Maybe I should have ‘sight-seeing’ around Buckingham Palace tomorrow… ?’

As always, I’m happy about constructive feedback. Tell me what you think about it, if you’ve read until the end. And I’m sorry for the pic,.. next time I’ll draw a better one 🙈 it’s not that easy to transform him,...

#loki of asgard #loki fanfic #mcu fanfiction #what if #art

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mental-health-advice · 4 years

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(1/3) Hey, I am looking for advice on how to help my friend. She is in a bad place, she suffers with bpd and has been continuously going missing, in and out of hospital and trying to end her life. She has 3 friends and we are trying our best to be with her at all times, taking it in turns to stay with her, but we also work and it can get exhausting to be up all night with her and then go to our jobs straight after, and then do it all over again.

(2/3) We obviously don't want to tell her that we are tired, as we don't want her to feel like a burden, but we can't keep this up.Besides that, she needs help from people who are professionals, not just a group of teenagers who don't know what they're doing. But the mental health services don't seem to be helping at all, she goes missing almost every day, she tries to take her own life several times a week,she goes to the hospital and asks for help and

(3/3) it seems like they just ignore her and won't listen.I should also mention that our best friend died by suicide 3 years ago in quite a similar situation(she also had bpd and was asking for help a lot leading up to her death)which just makes us more worried because we have seen it before and we know how it ends. We are just hitting a brick wall with the doctors and dont know what to do anymore. she's so distressed and begging for help but we just don't know how to help her.

Hey there,

First of all it sounds like you and your friends are doing an amazing job doing all that you can for your friend. Like you mentioned though, you can only help your friend so much and be there for her to a certain degree. I’m so sorry that you guys lost your best friend to suicide under similar circumstances. That must have been really hard for you and I bet that this is making you all feel even more stuck as your other friend wasn’t able to get the help they needed despite asking for it over and over again and it sounds as though this is happening for your current friend.

Unfortunately, in some countries the mental health services available aren’t that great. I am not sure of where you live but it sounds as though the mental health services are either stretched to the limit or they just aren’t being as helpful and caring as much as they should be. I am not in any way condoning how they are treating your friend and not listening to her cries for help but it may help to explain things if that makes sense.

I am not sure if you guys have tried this but have you tried seeing a different doctor? Sometimes the first person or professional that we seek help and advice from aren’t great at all and it can take a while to find someone that listens and cares and will give your friend the level of help, support and caring that she is needing right now to help her. I also encourage you to check out our page on getting help if you haven’t already as it may give you some suggestions on how you can seek help for your friend and the types of people you can turn to for help. I also want you to know that although it may not be enough for your friend in terms of the help that she is needing but she is always welcome to contact a counsellor from either a helpline or on web counselling. Usually the people from these services are pretty good and they may be able to give your friend some more advice on how best to get help for herself and in the meantime some much needed support. It’s so important that you know that you and your friends also know you can use these services. It can be really helpful to just talk to someone about what’s going on and vent in a supportive environment. So please do keep this in mind too!

In terms of your friend’s diagnosis with BPD, it may be helpful to look at our page on DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) DBT was specifically designed to help those suffering from BPD but it can also be used for other mental health conditions too. You can access our page on DBT by clicking here. Hopefully you will be able to find some skills that you can all learn together and it may be helpful for your friend too.

In regards to getting help from a therapist, is there a way that your friend can see someone privately? I know that this may not be possible due to finances but at least if she saw someone privately then she won’t have to worry about the public mental health services and the long waiting lists. Is this something that you can help your friend look into? Depending on who she sees they may also be able to bulk bill her or offer her a reduced fee – you never know until you ask!

It’s also really important that you and your other friends take some time out for themselves as much as they and you can. I completely understand how hard this must be though as your friend has some really complex mental health issues but I’d hate for you all to burn out and then not being able to help your friend anymore. This is why it’s so important to let your friend know of the services she may be able to contact and utilise so that you guys can have a much deserved break and have a little bit of the pressure taken off from all of you!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do not hesitate to let us know if we can help in any other way!

I’m thinking of you all and hope that things start looking up for you all really soon!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #helping a friend #BPD #suicidal #getting help

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fuckyeahqueermusic · 4 years

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FY!QM’s Favorite Albums of 2019 Part 2

Happy Super Bowl Sunday, here have a list of my favorite albums of 2019. You can click here to read part 1 if you missed it, but part 2 is all my absolute favorite releases from the year. Two of them aren’t even EPs, let alone full albums, but it is my list and I am the boss so I can do what I want!!

Obviously a ton of great music was released this year, but I think compared to 2018 it was a little lacking. Which is understandable, that was a bonkers killer year for new music, but I’m already psyched for all that’s coming out in 2020, and I have a feeling I am going to have a hard time doing a round up of everything I loved come next December (or January....or February, who’s to say!)

Anyways, onto my favs of 2019!

youtube

Carly Rae Jepsen — Dedicated Okay, so first off we have to talk about how one of the first working titles for this album was “Songs To Clean Your House To”, and how it is a CRIME we were deprived of that. Well, it will always be the real title in my heart.

So, Dedicated is not Emotion. It was never going to be Emotion, and that is okay. It is still an absolutely meticulously crafted, nearly perfect pop record. One that’s not only is full of great singles and individual certified bops (”Julien” anyone????), but actually works as a whole record, an increasing rarity in the mainstream pop landscape. But you can feel how much CRJ cares about what she puts out, and while some songs are weaker than others, there is no filler, and every track has something to enjoy on it. She is still the QUEEN of mid-tempo jams, with “No Drug Like Me,” “Too Much,” and “Automatically In Love” already up in the pantheon of all time mid-tempo jams. Some folks might have been disappointed we didn’t get Emotion 2.0, but I am thrilled CRJ wants to keep growing as an artist, and that she isn’t content to keep releasing the same thing over and over again, even though she very easily could.

Telethon — Hard Pop Telethon is hands down one of the best rock bands in the game right now, and I am thrilled they finally seem to be gaining a bit of traction outside the extremely cult following they’ve been building over the past five years. They have hooks for days, their music a master class in power pop song writing, combined with some of the densest lyric writing I have ever seen. Lead singer and lyricist Kevin Tully crafts each song like a short story about millennial mundanity and quarter life crises: using the exhaustion of finding a new apartment to examine long simmering anxiety, or trying to figure out if contentment is settling, and being too tired to know if you can tell the difference, while getting asked if you have weed at a terrible house party. It’s an album that feels like your late 20’s and early 30’s, with just enough optimism from a synth line to let you know that maybe everything will be okay in the end, maybe not, but it’s not stupid to hope.

Also they are not afraid of a ska influenced breakdown, and for that I must salute them.

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Great Grandpa — Four of Arrows This is far and away my most listened to album of the year, and it only came out in October. Every song is masterfully crafted to stick in your head, and whenever I put on “Bloom,” “Rosalie,” or “Treat Jar,” I HAVE to listen to it at least three times in a row. The songwriting on this album is just fucking astonishing, and it completely runs the gamut from acoustic driven indie to 80’s big power chord pop rock, without feeling incongruent at all. It is incredible that this is the same band that made Plastic Cough only two years ago. Not that their debut was bad, but this album is just such a massive leap in skill and sound that it is truly amazing. Just a completely beautiful record from front to back, and I am so excited to see where this band goes next.

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that dog — Old LP For the last 3 years that dog’s one semi-hit from 1997, “Never Say Never,” has been in my top 5 played songs of the year on Spotify (it currently has 186,000 plays. I would wager about 100,000 of those are me). I would argue it is the catchiest song ever written. It was on an album, Retreat From The Sun, that is back to back to back catchy jams. that dog should’ve been one of the most famous bands in the world, and I have been lamenting hard for some time that we never got more music from them. They broke up in 1997, scattering to the winds to be involved in making some of your favorite music (Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack anyone???)

Until last year. Anna Waronker got the band back together and that dog released their first album in 22 years, Old LP. And it’s like barely any time has passed. Old LP is practically perfect 90’s pop-rock, insanely catchy with enough of an edge and interesting flourishes (they credit basically a whole orchestra in the liner notes) to make you want to put the whole thing on repeat for a few hours. Or maybe that’s just me. Either way, I am so happy that dog is back in some capacity, and here’s hoping this is not the last we hear of them.

(Also I picked this live performance of “Bird On A Wire” cause Allison Crutchfield from Swearin’ is there???)

Fireworks — Demitasse single This is not an album, or even an EP, but this is my list and I can do what I want and that includes fawning over a single from what is sure to be one of my top albums of 2020. Fireworks’ reunion was my biggest surprise of the year. They are a band that defined the last decade for me, their lifespan cut too short due to a crowded market and evolving too fast for their audience (they should be The Wonder Years level of famous and beloved, as they were, no offense to Soupy and the boys, the superior band). But after four years away they returned with a 6 minute slow burn of a song, solemn and sparse, until the full band crashes in more than ¾ of the way through. The first time I got to 5:08 in the song, the mix of pure catharsis and active anger that they disbanded in 2015 and we were denied new material from them until now I felt guaranteed Higher Lonely Power will almost certainly be THE album of 2020.

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Team Dresch — Your Hands My Pocket “7 Perhaps even more important than Fireworks comeback, the biggest music news of 2019 for me was Team Dresch’s reunion. They are a band that I trace pretty much all my modern musical tastes to, and they are hugely influential to me and so many others in what they proved was possible for queer music to be. When that reunion ALSO came with new music, I about lost my mind. “Your Hands My Pocket” sounds like no time has passed since Captain My Captain came out: perfect hooks, heartfelt earnest lyrics, the vocal trade off between Jody Bleyle and Kaia Wilson, and all the queer pop-punk jubilation I want. The b-side “Baskets,” is classic Team Dresch emo (and yes I will argue to the ends of the earth that Team Dresch is one of the best emo bands of the 90s), with big volume shifts and longing vocals (and that bridge!). The only bad thing about this release is that there’s not more! Maybe if we all beg hard enough, they’ll make one more album.

#fy!qm's favorite albums of 2019 #carly rae jepsen #telethon #great grandpa #that dog #team dresch #fireworks

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sapphicscholar · 5 years

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Pride Month Prompts Day 2: Rainbow (Grace/Frankie)

From this Pride Month Prompts post! I’m taking the opportunity to write some short fics for a variety of pairings that I haven’t written for as much, maybe at all. They won’t be going on AO3, so I’ll be sure to tag them all with #pride month prompts so you can find them later if you want.

Day 2: Rainbow

Pairing: Grace/Frankie A/N: I’ve never written for Grace and Frankie before, so hopefully I did them a bit of justice, even though I’m still trying to get their voices and figure out my style for writing them as a pairing. I might try a few more prompts with them this month...we’ll see!

“Tomorrow’s June 1st. You know what that means, don’t ya?” Frankie had asked, apropos of absolutely nothing in between the gummy bears she picked up and popped into her mouth one by one during the commercial breaks of annual Scripps Spelling Bee.

Grace tried to remember. She’d always thought of herself as a considerate partner--she’d certainly been more likely to remember important dates and moments than Robert had, that’s for sure, and she knew his secretary was the only reason she always received a timely, perfectly impersonal gift for their wedding anniversary. But with Frankie, suddenly things weren’t so clear. Grace had inscribed a careful, cursive F inside of her planner on April 17, the day that all of the feelings that she’d been pushing down further and further finally beat back the dam and demanded her attention, demanded that she lean over and kiss the infuriating, impossible woman who she’d fallen in love with at some point over the years. But Frankie recognized so many other dates as important milestones in the relationship she’d described later that same night as being “like playing fetch with that old dog we had, Ernie, remember him?” Grace mainly remembered the way he’d smelled like kibble and rain and mud. “We’d throw a ball for him, and, well, he wasn’t exactly a professional fetch player, if you know what I mean, but he’d meander over. Maybe sniff the grass. Eat a bug. Chew on a stick. Really enjoy the whole experience, one with nature and all that. Pretty enlightened if you think about it. And eventually, he’d find whatever you threw and make his way back to you.” Grace had been halfway to offended until Frankie had added: “Fetch with Ernie.” Us. She gestured between them. “Inevitable. You just have to be patient, trust that things will work out.” So instead of getting snippy with Frankie, Grace had found herself kissing Frankie, again, for the better part of an hour until her neck was stiff and her bad knee demanded something stronger than the heat and ice Frankie would suggest.

A few days later, once it was easier to be alone on the couch together without reveling in the newfound ability to lean over and hold hands or hold one another or kiss, Grace finally asked Frankie about the milestones she’d mentioned. As Frankie began listing them, Grace realized she might need a separate planner just to keep track. Because there was the first time Grace made a proper promise with a kiss. The first time they had a whole meal together uninterrupted by phone calls or fights or family members barging into the house. The first time Grace actually ate something at Del Taco. The first time Frankie had an erotic dream about Grace and Del Taco’s queso--unsurprisingly, those two shared a date. The morning on the beach when Frankie first realized she could spend the rest of her life with no one but Grace and be happy. The first time Frankie had an inkling that Grace might feel the same way.

Still, June 1st wasn’t ringing any bells. “Alright, you’ve got me. What is it? Is it the first time we got high together?”

“Don’t jest, Grace. We all know that was an early spring evening just before Mercury entered retrograde.”

“But of course.” Still, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Just barely.

“It’s Pride month! Oh Grace, there’s glitter and rainbows and parades--you know how much I like a good parade.” The distinction between good and bad parades was still lost on Grace, though Frankie had been working to explain it, mainly by yelling, “Bad!” whenever they happened to drive past a bad parade or see a bad parade on TV or see something that reminded Frankie of a past bad parade.

“Are you...celebrating?”

“Well of course! But not with those Wall Street sellout types.”

“Obviously.” Frankie beamed at her like she’d done something right, so Grace once more resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“But remember that potluck Babe organized her last year here? Then on Facebook I got an ad for Gay Day at the Beach and a 65+ mixer. And I know it means Mark and all his little friends are listening to me.” She glared at her cell phone. “I know you can hear me, but you don’t own me!” A moment later her attention was back on Grace. “Doesn’t that sound great?”

Grace swallowed heavily, thinking of Robert’s theater friends and the big loud crowds of 20-somethings all yelling about how happy they were to be out and proud when she’d spent her 20s pushing down memories of kissing her best friend in a darkened dorm room and following instructions as everyone around her reminded her that it was time to find the right kind of man and settle down into the right kind of life. She managed some vague noise of assent before begging off with claims of exhaustion, knowing Frankie was never one to discourage napping.

Over the next few days, Grace watched as Frankie trotted out colorful outfit after colorful outfit. Not that her typical color palette was what anyone would call reserved, but now there were patches and buttons and bright swaths of primary colors that made Frankie beam every time she caught sight of herself in the mirror. And Grace tried. She pulled out the pink button up she knew Frankie liked, and tried to shy away from the blacks and grays and navys and tans she too often favored. But still, her colors always turned out more J-Crew in the Summer than Queer Grandmas at Pride. Anything more than that made her stomach clench uncomfortably, like she was trying to force herself into a mold that fit no better than motherhood and heterosexuality had.

So it was with no small amount of trepidation that Grace accepted the rainbow gift bag from Frankie, who stood in front of her, bouncing on the balls of her feet, nearly vibrating with energy as she waited for Grace to tear into the present she’d gotten her “for Pride, of course!”

The first item she pulled out was a coffee mug with Straight Outta the Closet printed on it--an homage Grace recognized only because of the weekend Frankie had come back from some protest or other and made them listen to N.W.A. again and again in her studio until the neighbors came over and asked them to keep it down or at least shut the windows. It wasn’t anything Grace would ever have picked for herself, but it reminded her of Frankie enough that she already knew she’d be using it frequently, just like she’d spent a whole month drinking her coffee out of the matching Vybrant-purple coffee mugs Frankie had made for them.

“There’s still one more thing for today’s potluck!”

“Right.” Grace forced herself to smile as she dug into the tissue paper exploding out of the bag. But she didn’t find the rainbow tutu Frankie had laughed about for a solid three minutes or even one of the t-shirts she’d browsed for hours. Instead, she found a rainbow enamel pin, about the size of her nail.

“I thought you could pin it to that big bag you carry to the beach. Just right in the corner.”

And it was small and understated, but still bright and colorful. A tiny, personal reminder of what this first Pride month being together meant. The kind of thing that could be overlooked, but wouldn’t be by those who knew to look. She didn’t realize she was getting emotional until she felt tears she refused to let fall prickling at her eyes. “It’s perfect,” Grace whispered. “How’d you know?”

“You forget that I am an intuitive witch, Grace Hanson.” Frankie grinned as she reached out a hand, tangling her fingers with Grace’s. It would probably last only until they hit the beach or the water or the first person whose reaction wasn’t already guaranteed to be fine strolling along the shore. But until then, Grace’s hand--always slightly cool to the touch, but perfectly moisturized, perfectly manicured (but nails kept shorter these days, thank you very much)--would find its home in hers, and until then, Frankie would enjoy every second of it.

#pride month prompts #grace x frankie #fanfic #grace hanson #frankie bergstein #grace and frankie #ficlet

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c-is-for-circinate · 6 years

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so what you're saying is you only like ace representation when autistic ace women are being thrown under the bus because our representation doesn't matter and our attempts to create our own representation (because if we don't we don't get any) are bad and ableist so we should just sit down, shut up, and be content with never seeing ourselves in fiction. got it. sorry we keep forgetting our place and being so fucking inconvenient with our wishing to be allowed to exist in stories.

Okay. Okay, we’re both going to take a deep breath and maybe get a cup of tea here and have this conversation–or at least I am. You can if you like. I suggest that you might want to, because you clearly seem to care a whole bunch what I have to say on this topic, for some reason, even though I’m nobody on the internet with all of 200 notes on a post that doesn’t even say the thing you seem to think it says. You care enough to be very upset in my inbox, so it seems like you might care enough to want to have this discussion.

Cool. I’ve got shit I’m putting off doing this afternoon. Let’s have this talk.

For starters: yup, I can see that you’re really angry. I get that. If somebody were telling me to sit down and shut up about representing myself in fiction, I’d be real angry, too. And yes, I can see how the thing you initially saw (which I’m assuming was this post, without any of the later additions to it) might sound that way to you, and I apologize.

Still not sure why the opinions of one random person on the internet are worth your time and your words and your rage on this level, though you do you–not that ‘somebody thinks I shouldn’t exist or see myself in fiction’ isn’t worth raging about, but this seems like a pretty small corner to have this anger-fit in. Like, you clearly know that many people DO believe the things you think I believe, all the time, every day. This wouldn’t have hit such a button if that weren’t the case. I would get really exhausted fighting this fight all the time, if I were you. Which I’m not.

Which begs the question: if I’m saying “let horrible shit go on the internet, life is too short to fight every battle,” then why am I taking the time to start this question with one very angry anon who might not even bother coming to my blog to see my response in the first place?

Well. For one, because I obviously hurt you, and that sucks. Whatever I meant to communicate, you read a thing that clearly hurt. As a decent human, it behooves me to acknowledge that if I can, and to try to address it if I can.

Also because I clearly hurt you by phrasing and explaining myself poorly, and that sucks in a whole different way. And maybe if we have this conversation here, other people WON’T have the same misunderstanding. That’d be pretty great.

(And also because life is so short, and the internet is so angry, and I am so tired all the time. Everyone is always so angry here, so cruel and so hurt and so furious. Maybe I can be a little bit kind. Maybe it will matter. Maybe somebody else on the internet will take a deep breath at their reflexive rage. It could happen.)

Alright, now, to the meat of your complaint: you believe I have said, “ace autistic women should not be represented in fiction, it’s ableist and bad.” You believe that this is a pretty shitty thing to think because ace autistic women actually exist in the actual world, and they/you would like some actual representation, or at least to be allowed to represent themselves.

That is a pretty shitty thing to think. It’s good that I don’t think it. It sucks that it sounded like I do. You might want to re-read the version of the original post that I linked above, with several additional comments on it. You might want to read this post, where I clarified my point of view. You might want to read it again.

Here’s what I actually think: in our culture of stories, especially in fandom and also in published media, romantic storylines are held up at the center of fiction all the time. Romance and romantic interest are used to create tension, to create character depth, to add complexity and interest and signal to readers ‘hey, over here, these characters are important, the story is here!’

And that’s fucked up. You already know that, if you’re on the internet looking for stories about ace representation. But it’s a fact.

Here’s the other thing I think: many authors, mostly in fandom and also sometimes in published media, use the idea of asexuality–not its reality, not its complexities, not the intricate intersections of asexuality and aromanticism, not anything true and real–use the idea of ‘oh, this character just isn’t interested in anyone ever’ as a way to sideline specific characters out of that romantic narrative.

The people fandom wants most of all to sideline out of its stories? Women.

(Yes, even in het fandoms. Maybe especially in het fandoms. The rage and hate against an ‘other woman’ is terrifying to behold.)

The people fandom wants even more than that to keep out of the spotlight and also particularly out of romantic storylines altogether? ND/autistic women.

Using asexuality as a way to keep autistic women (as a way to keep women, as a way to keep autistic people, as a way to keep anyone) out of a narrative is fucking bullshit. This I believe. This I absolutely believe. And it is shitty, shitty representation that is not worthy of the name. It is lazy and exploitative writing that uses ‘representation’ as an excuse not to actually explore or represent anyone at all.

I wrote that original post because of the overwhelming majority of the Persona 5 fandom, which downright screams about how Futaba Sakura (one of the most legit autistic characters I’ve ever seen in fiction that wasn’t specifically about ‘hey look at this autistic character’) can’t be shipped with anyone let alone the protag, she is the little sister and she doesn’t like to be touched anyway she probably just doesn’t want anyone. I wrote it because I just spent like a month devouring Voltron fic and you can’t find good poly-fic that isn’t ‘just the boys fucking each other’ for love or money–Pidge likes robots more than people and that means she’d never be attracted to or fall for anyone, at least if you need an excuse to keep her out of the group sex. I wrote it because Parker/Hardison/Eliot is the OT3 of all OT3′s. I wrote it because I was in Glee fandom for years and I fucking remember what fandom said about Brittany S. Pierce.

I would love to see more ace representation in fiction. I would love to see so much more fiction that centers ace characters, that explores the fact that asexuality is an identity rather than a lack of identity. That lets ace characters fill lead roles and doesn’t even make their sexuality an issue. Ace characters in romances. Ace characters with their own plotlines and intense character development who never want or need romances. And yes: that includes autistic or otherwise neurodivergent female asexual characters. Any one of the characters I just listed above, give me a story about them navigating their own sexuality or navigating their world, their most important non-sexual non-romantic relationships, their selves, and let them be as not-neurotypical as all hell. I will read it in a fucking instant.

You want to see you in fiction. I want to see you in fiction. What we’re getting ain’t it.

Take some deep breaths. Talk to a friend who knows you. Hug a dog/cat/person, if they’re available and hugging’s your thing. Maybe don’t scream at strangers on the internet. We’re on the same side.

#ace discourse is exhausting #all discourse is exhausting tbh #I'll have conversations about this if people want to actually discuss #but I think I'm real done defending or explaining things I've already explained #sigh #Anonymous

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babyleclerc · 6 years

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Favorites

Pairings: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Style: One-Shot

Warnings: Language and implications of sex. Otherwise it’s just pure, fun fluff.

Word Count: 1,364

Summary: Tom asks you a few Marvel questions, which leads to an interesting revelation about his coworkers.

A/N: Soft!Tom destroys me in this piece. I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. ;) Also please don’t come @ me for the thoughts on Hulk/Banner. It’s all in good fun. As usual, gif isn’t mine!

Though it had been a few hours, the smell of sex still lingered in the warm air of your bedroom. Tom lay shirtless on his back, book in hand, while you sat next to him - one leg bent underneath you, the other sprawled across his stomach, hunched over your phone. Tom’s free hand rested on your thigh, absentmindedly rubbing your soft skin in circles. You were lounging in panties and one of Tom’s old shirts, just the way he liked you to be. Spotify’s Relax playlist played softly on your Amazon Echo, filling the comfortable silence.

“Babe?” You ask, as your thumb swipes up your Instagram feed lazily.

“Hmm?” He replied, eyes never leaving his book as he turned the page.

“If you couldn’t play Loki, who would you want to be?” You double tapped a picture of Seb in sunglasses.

“Thor.” He responded quickly, eyes still locked on his book.

“And if you couldn’t play Thor?”

“Loki.”

You grinned, hitting his chest lightly. “Cheater.” You say, still Insta swiping, while Tom cracked a smile.

“I am the god of mischief.” He retorted, winking at you. After a few minutes of silence, he reached towards his nightstand, grabbing his bookmark and placing it inside his book, snapping it shut.

“Now you’ve intrigued me.” He says, letting his right hand fall to your hip, tugging at you gently.

“About what?” You glance up from your phone.

“First - mercy. Please.”

You sighed dramatically. ‘Mercy’ had become a very popular word in your relationship over the past few years. It was to be used when the other person wanted something - such as putting a phone away for undivided attention, calling a truce in a tickle war, pressing pause on a fight, etc. In this instance, he was asking you to put down your beloved iPhone.

You tossed your phone to the side of the bed in compliance, physically turning your body to face him but keeping one leg tucked under you and the other across his torso.

“Alright, phone has been mercy’d to oblivion. How can I help you, sir?”

Tom chuckled at your pet name that was usually reserved for the bedroom. “I have questions for you.” He began, his left hand wandering down your thigh slowly.

“Hit me.” You say, grinning. Time with Thomas alone was a rarity these days. Between filming Infinity War, rehearsing for theatre productions, and your career - you hardly at time together anymore. It was a constant mix of varying levels of effort, exhaustion, and commitment to keep your relationship thriving and happy. So intimate, uninterrupted conversations like these were the most precious to you. You had once equated them to having the significance of an infinity stone, which had made Tom laugh and tease you unceasingly.

“Who is your least favorite superhero?” He finally asked.

You crinkled your nose, “In the Marvel universe?”

“Hmm.” Tom affirmed, still letting his hand wander.

“Ugh, I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. Superman is the fucking worst.” Tom laughed in response, “Uhmmmmm, I guess Hulk?”

“What?! Why?” He asks you, bewildered.

“Ugh, I don’t know. There’s just something about Bruce Banner that gets under my skin. Like he was basically trying to become Cap but obviously turned out to be a way suckier version ‘cause he fucked with the gamma rays and now he’s screwed as Hulk. And he’s always whining about not being able to control it but like, dude, you literally did this to yourself, so, why don’t you try taking Tony’s advice and learn how to actually manage your green situation?!”

Tom’s bewildered laugh echoed across the room. Eyes closed, mouth half open, his hand gripping your leg as he struggled to control his breathing.

“Darling, you are not allowed on set. Ever.”

“What!” You shout, outraged, but laughing. “I cannot be the only person with this opinion.”

“I’m fairly certain that almost no one else agrees with you on this one. No sane person anyway.”

You scowled at him, folding your arms across your chest. “I guess that’s why they call it an opinion.”

“Yes, right,” Tom chuckles, tucking your hair behind your ear, “Let’s hear more of these wild so-called opinions. Favorite superhero in Marvel?”

“That’s such an unfair question,” you groan, falling over onto your left side, opposite Tom.

“It’s not a test, darling.”

You glared at him, “I can’t pick. I love them all for separate reasons.”

“Just pick one.”

“Nooooo.” You whine, taking your right hand and intertwining your fingers with his.

“Alright then, narrow it down for me. Who are your top three?”

“Cap, Thor, Bucky.” You respond immediately.

“Ahh. This makes sense now.” Tom murmured in response, fiddling with your hand in his. “Arguably the three most attractive men in the MCU, eh?”

You blushed, and instantly began to protest. “That’s not why!”

“But you don’t deny it!” He laughs, “After all these years, the truth finally comes out: my seemingly devoted wife has the hots for my coworkers.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” You huff, though your scarlet cheeks give you away. He pokes your side in teasing adoration. It’s not that you found them sexually attractive (you were hopelessly devoted to your lover with unwavering certainty) but they weren’t exactly ugly, either...

“So all those months of me begging, pleading with you to go out with me, really I was just vying for your attention over Chris and Sebastian?” Tom teased, pinching your waist lightly. “I would hate to have seen the outcome if Hemsworth hadn’t been married.”

“I’m starting to think I picked unwisely.” You say dryly, glaring at him and swatting his hand away.

“Oh come now, darling. It’s only a bit of fun.” He catches your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your wrist. “Besides, what fun would life be if I didn’t tease you a little?”

“A more pleasant one.” You mumble, while Tom laughs against your wrist, lips still hovering over your veins.

“Come here.” He commands, sitting up so that he can pull you onto his lap. You obliged, scooting over his stomach, straddling him, allowing your hands to rest on his chest. Your hair sloppily falls to the sides of your face as you peer down at him, still frowning from the topic of conversation. He smiles up at you, causing your insides to turn in all different directions. All it took was that look to make you forget how insufferable he could be at times.

“You know, you didn’t ask me the most important question of all.” You say softly, tracing your fingers on his chest. Tom’s right hand rested on your waist, while his left gently curled a lock of hair between his long fingers.

“And what question is that, my love?” He asked huskily, eyes lost in drinking you in.

“Who my favorite Marvel actor is.”

Tom smiled, slipping his right hand underneath your shirt and gently rubbing along your low back. “And who might that be?” He played along, meeting your gaze.

You raise both hands to cup his face, lightly tracing a finger over his stubble. You whisper softly, “Thomas William Hiddleston.” Before pulling him into a slow, meaningful kiss. You sigh happily into his mouth as he reciprocates, allowing all of your muscles to relax into him.

His arms wrap around your frame, squeezing you gently as he breaks the kiss to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck.

“Have I told you recently that I love you?” He asked, kissing you softly.

You smile, shaking your head. “Not enough.”

“Hmmm, we should fix that.” He murmured against your skin, placing another kiss just below your collarbone. “I love you.” A kiss on your shoulder. “Je t’aime.” A kiss on your arm. “Te amo.” His nose nuzzled your soft skin, before raising his head to look into your beautiful eyes once more. The woman he could not live without; the woman who gave his life meaning and purpose. Who made the sun rise and the stars shine across the sky. “Se agapó.” He whispers finally in Greek, before he pulls you in for another night of slow, passionate, lovemaking.

Fin.

Tag List: @markusstraya, @punkin-pie-mofo, @hazohazahazbro, @irishprincess9, @jedionironthrone.

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

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youtuberswithalex · 6 years

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PRVL, Vol 1, Chap 7: Peace of Mind

Summary: Logan is way too overwhelmed.

Word Count: 4,803

Warnings: a couple of mental illness jokes at the beginning (that are quickly shot down), an autistic meltdown, fighting, mention of the death of a parent

Tag list: @vigilantvirgil @what-even-is-thiss @lovelylogans @nose-to-meet-you @faithfulcat111 @haikyuupaladin @virge-of-death @storytellerofuntoldlegends (And I’m tagging the people on my general list for this chapter, too- let me know if you want to be added or taken off!) @hanramz-the-fander @pandagirl0730 @aroundtheriverssbend

Behind the Scenes: Part One/Part Two Table of Contents: Mobile/Desktop

First - Previous - Next

Everything was red as far as the eye could see.

The chill of the late morning settled around the class as they trudged through the crimson leaves, jars in hand and awe in eyes. Most of the students were quiet. Those who weren’t spoke softly, so not to disturb the others.

That was, of course, except for Nila Tanzer. She twirled around and squealed, blonde braids whipping around.

“It’s gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe there’s this much diversity in plants! I don’t think Vacuo has anything like this! This is amazing!”

She spun again; next to her, Lloyd held up his hands to shield himself. “Hey, hey! Watch your hair!”

“Sorry!”

He sighed and shook his head. “I swear, one of these days you’re going to drop out of Beacon to pursue botany. No sane person should ever get this excited over trees.”

Gasping, Nila held a finger at him. “Ooh! Lien in the Mental Illness Joke Jar when we get back!”

“Gah, crumbs! Sorry, Thamir.”

“Hm?”

Thamir turned his face towards the two, eyes following a second afterwards; Lloyd waved a hand at him.

“Nothing,” he replied. “I just owe you some Lien again.”

Blinking, Thamir stared at him for a beat. “Wait, what? Again?! What’d you say this time?!”

“He called me insane for thinking the trees are pretty!” Nila chirped.

Lloyd shot her a glare. “Well, when you put it like that…!”

Calanthe rolled her eyes at the three. “Alright, Bluebirds, cut the fighting,” she said. “We don’t want to attract Grimm before we get any sap.”

“Grimm? How could there be Grimm in such a gorgeous place as this one?!” Nila squealed.

The three froze at a sigh from the very front of the class. “Yes, students, the Forest of Forever Fall is, indeed, beautiful,” Professor Goodwitch called. “But we are not here to sight-see. Professor Peach has asked all of you to collect samples from the trees deep inside this forest, and I’m here to make sure none of you die while doing so.”

The group came to a stop. Professor Goodwitch held up a jar filled with thick, pink liquid.

“Each of you is to gather one jar’s worth of red sap. However, this forest is filled with the Creatures of Grimm, so be sure to stay with your teammates. We will rendezvous back here by 4 o’clock. Have fun.”

As the teams began to break off, Nila squealed and bounced up and down. “I’m so excited! Where are we going to start?”

“We could literally do it anywhere,” Lloyd laughed. “We’re not exactly short on trees here.”

“Well, yeah, but we don’t want to be near any Negative Nancies,” she retorted. “I want to fight as little Grimm as possible today.”

Calanthe nodded. “She’s got a point. Thamir, what do you think?”

The three turned to look at their tallest teammate, only to find him staring off with his brow furrowed. Calanthe followed his eyeline; she sighed and put a hand on her hip.

“Worried about Logan still?” she asked.

Thamir shot Calanthe a glance before turning back to watch Team PRVL head deeper into the forest. “I just… He’s not acting right,” he sighed. “Do you see how exhausted he looks? It’s like he barely slept!”

“So what? You hardly slept for more than a couple of hours last night,” Nila pointed out.

“That’s different.”

Humming, Calanthe reached up to put a hand on his shoulder. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, we can go with them,” she suggested. “If he’s as smart as you’ve been cooing on him for the past twenty-four hours, he’ll know when it’s time to get help, right? Maybe he’ll come to you.”

“You are the easiest of us to talk to,” Lloyd added, shooting Thamir a soft smile.

Nila beamed at him. “Yeah, he’d be insane if he went to anyone else!”

Immediately, she slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes widening; Lloyd whipped around and pointed at her.

“Ha!” he yelled. “Lien in the jar for you, too!”

Thamir rolled his eyes and smiled, shaking his head. “Alright,” he said, “Let’s go catch up to them.”

“Atta boy,” Calanthe replied, softly punching his shoulder. She lifted a hand and started to jog after the team in question. “Hey, PRVL! Wait for us!”

“Just don’t do anything to embarrass me, please,” Thamir pleaded with Nila and Lloyd.

“I can promise you we won’t do anything on purpose,” Nila giggled, hurrying after their leader.

Lloyd beamed up at him and shrugged his shoulders. “Accidental’s out of the question, though.”

Thamir laughed and put his hand on the top of Lloyd’s head to pull him along. “Come on, Shortie.”

“I told you you’d be tired.”

Logan bit back the urge to throw his jar at Virgil and storm off. Of course he was tired. His stomach churned with exhaustion and his eyes were burning from all of the bright red around them and his clothes felt all wrong today and it was a change in schedule and the fact that his train of thought of complaints had lasted this long without a clear end to the sentence was enough to tell him that. He didn’t need Virgil to state the obviously and bring the others into it, especially since Team CTLN had decided to join them. Yet here they were…

“Have a rough night, kiddo?” Patton asked, putting a hand on Logan’s shoulder. He instantly ripped himself away and reached up to rub away the tingles the contact had made.

“I’m fine. Don’t touch me,” he huffed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Thamir and Calanthe exchange a look; his face heated, and he turned back to his jar that was slowly filling with sap. It hurt his eyes, but it was better than eye contact.

A laugh sounded behind him. “Aw, you and Thamir could have hung out!” he heard Nila exclaim.

CTLN and the rest of PRVL fell into a conversation that turned to mush in Logan’s head as Nila’s words tumbled around, begging to be processed. He knew it was important, he knew something in that statement needed to be addressed, but it remained meaningless for a minute or two longer.

When it did process, however, Logan felt his heart stop.

“Did you not sleep last night, Thamir?” he asked, refusing to look at the others.

There was a pause. Logan tilted his head just enough to see the feet in vision pointed towards him. One pair walked over, and then Thamir was sitting on the ground next to him, leaning back against the tree. He said something, and it took Logan a long moment to process it between the clinking of glass jars that were suddenly excruciatingly loud and the others’ speaking that must have been yelling for some inexplicable reason.

I didn’t, Thamir had said. Did you?

Words were becoming very hard to form. “I didn’t,” Logan finally replied. “Not more than an hour.”

Thamir spoke again. The process started all over again.

Are you doing okay?

Logan took a deep breath and shook his head. “I believe I’m beginning to have a meltdown,” he stated. Scripted words were easier than new responses, and he was happy to have a question asked that had a pre-determined answer. “I’ll be okay. I’m sorry if I am bad at communication or take longer for formulate responses. It is very hard for me to process my surroundings right now.”

Thamir spoke.

Is there anything I can do?

He shook his head.

Do you need me to leave you alone?

His mind went silent aside from the noises repeating in his head. Normally, yes, Logan would much prefer to handle a meltdown or shutdown on his own. It left very little chance to be spoken to and less need to waste energy on processing his surroundings. When someone was close to him, the area where he could feel their presence on him would feel like it was on fire. Another person in his space set off anxiety about needing to be presentable, to do something to socialize, to act like he wasn’t autistic. Even after years of therapy to tell him he didn’t need to act like that and that he needed to take care of himself, he always reverted back to that state of mind when he was at his worst. Being at his worst always made him want any other human or faunus as far away from him as possible.

And yet… Something inside of him selfishly wanted Thamir to stay. His presence-area was calming his crawling skin instead of setting it ablaze. Something wasn’t right when it came to Thamir and it was a break in routine and that should be making the meltdown come on much faster but it wasn’t and it was wrong but it didn’t feel wrong…

Thamir said something; Logan’s brain stopped racing to process.

I’ll be with Calanthe if you need me.

As soon as the words made sense in Logan’s mind, Thamir stood and took a step. Logan shot his hand out to grab his wrist, shaking his head frantically and daring himself to look Thamir in the face for just a second before his jar collided with the ground and let out an excruciatingly loud thunk. He winced, but still kept his eyes on Thamir’s chest as he shook his head again.

This close to eye contact, and nothing hurt. This was different. Logan knew he should have been freaked out, but he wasn’t. What the heck was wrong with him?

Slowly, Thamir lowered himself back to the ground. Logan released his wrist.

Okay, he had said, a laugh in his voice. I’m here.

Logan went to pick up his jar, but the sap had spilled all over; he could feel his skin crawling at the stickiness before he even touched it. He tried once, twice, three times to pick it up, but his hands bounced off of an invisible barrier each time. Thamir reached out and did it for him.

I can hold it, if you’d like. Calanthe already has my jar.

Logan nodded. His vision began to blur as his head spun. He felt his muscles tensing up; a moment later, his skin started to sting, and he glanced down to watch himself scratching furiously at his biceps. It helped the crawling skin, though he knew it was a self-injurious stim.

Hands gripped his forearms over the metal and pulled his own hands away. Thamir’s voice reached his ears, but there was no processing it this time. Logan needed to get out of here. He needed out, he needed out, he needed out. Why weren’t his legs moving?

Another hand touched his back; his clothes felt like they were on fire. He heard Patton gently ask something. Thamir said something back. Patton spoke again, and this time it processed immediately.

“He doesn’t look like he’s okay…”

“Falsehood!”

The scream erupted out of his mouth before he could stop it. A blast of wind crashed into him and ice hit his legs- Logan knew it was an outside sensation, but he couldn’t remember where from, but he knew he needed it off. He felt eyes on him, eyes that weren’t meant to burn but hurt regardless. He frantically punched at the ice anchoring him to the ground until it broke off, and then he got up and bolted, squeezing his eyes shut and ignoring Thamir’s voice calling after him.

Everything was bad and he needed away and he needed to be alone and everything felt wrong wrong wrong and everything hurt-

He heard a weird noise. He stopped and opened his eyes. He couldn’t see much, but there was a big blur of black and white in front of him, sticking out of the awful sea of red. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that was bad.

He smelled coffee. Why was there coffee?

Brown dots flew in view and exploded against the black and white; the noise rattled Logan’s eardrums, and he dropped to the ground, throwing his hands up to cover his ears. His eyes squeezed shut as a wind began to whip around. Muffled clinking of metal against bone made its way through his fingers, and he whimpered.

When the distinctive, pungent smell of evaporating Grimm hit his nose, he broke.

Logan ripped his hands away from his ears in favor of whipping his arms up and down in front of himself, scratching at his biceps any time they were close enough. His breathing dissolved into wheezing sobs, and he internally hissed at himself. Why was he crying? There was no need for crying. Bad bad bad bad bad!

“Logan.”

“Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,” Logan hissed. He moved to sit on his knees and began to rock back and forth, ripping the glasses off of his face and throwing them to the side.

“Logan, it’s okay.”

“No, no, no, no, no!”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Breathe. Deep breaths.”

Logan sobbed and tried to wrap his arms around himself, but a pair of hands gripped his wrists. It should hurt, it should hurt, why wasn’t it hurting?

“Hey, hey! I know you’re freaked out, but you’re not allowed to scratch, okay? No scratching.”

He frantically shook his head. “Hurts, hurts, hurts!”

“I know, that’s why you aren’t allowed.”

“No!” Logan yelped. “Not- Isn’t- Bad bad bad bad bad!”

Ripping his hands away, Logan fell onto his rear and pulled his knees to meet with his forehead. He rocked and sobbed and silently screamed and shifted positions back and forth for what felt like forever, until his throat was raw, his body ached, and there were no more tears left to cry. A hand remained somewhere on him through the whole thing.

When the only thing he had the energy left to do was shake, he finally cracked his burning eyes open. He was laying on his side- when he’d fallen into that position, he had no idea -and someone wearing blue pants was sitting cross-legged in front of him. Whoever it was, Logan vaguely recognized, was rubbing little circles on his bicep. On any normal day, he would pull away, but it felt… nice.

“Are you feeling any better?” the person muttered.

Ah. Thamir. Logan felt his face heat.

Slowly, he nodded and forced himself to sit up. He went to verbalize the affirmation, but his tongue was heavy and glued to the roof of his mouth. A whimper fell out instead, and he wrapped his arms around himself again.

Thamir moved his hand to Logan’s leg. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered. “You’re okay.”

Logan swallowed thickly and tried again to speak. Slowly, his tongue peeled itself away from the cartilage. “’M sorry,” he croaked.

“Nah, you shouldn’t be,” Thamir replied without hesitation. “You can’t control it. That’s not your fault.”

Shutting his eyes again, Logan turned his face towards the ground. “Still bad,” he mumbled.

“No, it’s not. You’re not. You were overwhelmed. It’s okay. Everyone has bad days, but that doesn’t make you bad.”

Thamir pulled Logan’s fists open and pressed his glasses into his palm; he opened his eyes to look at them, but his vision blurred over again before he could. Wetness dripped down his cheeks. The edges of his lips twitched down.

He swallowed thickly. “Not… enough,” he whispered. “’M not enough.”

Weak sobs pulled at him. He wrapped his arms around himself, and then pulled his left hand back to grip the pendant on his necklace. Thamir pulled him into a hug.

“No,” he firmly stated. “You are enough. Don’t think those things. Just because you had a meltdown, doesn’t mean you’re any less. Okay?”

Logan didn’t agree. He was too tired to argue. He nodded.

They stayed like that for a long while. Logan shut his eyes and let himself melt into the touch. He still didn’t understand why it didn’t hurt, but at this point, he didn’t care. He was craving some positive sensory input, and he was happy to accept it from Thamir.

Thamir let out a breath after a while. “We should go back soon,” he muttered. “Your teammates are worried sick about you, you know.”

A whine came out of Logan before he could stop it; Thamir laughed softly before he pulled away.

“Yeah, come on,” he said. He climbed to his feet and held a hand out to Logan. He rubbed his eyes one more time before replacing his glasses and taking it. Once standing, a large yawn wracked his entire body. Thamir mirrored him, and then began to laugh.

“Don’t do that! It’s contagious,” he giggled. “Guess we’re both exhausted. I can’t imagine how drained you are after that.”

Thamir put his arm around Logan and began to lead him back to where the others presumably were. Logan nodded and glued his eyes to the ground.

“Incredibly.”

Humming, Thamir looked to the treetops. “Well, we’ll be heading back to Beacon soon,” he pointed out. “Maybe we can take a nap on the way back.”

“Can’t take naps,” Logan replied.

Thamir looked at him. “Why not?”

He shrugged. “Unable.”

“Well… We can try, can’t we?”

Sighing, Logan slowly nodded. “Suppose.”

It was three a.m. again. Logan sat silently on his bed, wavering back and forth as he stared at the poster of Team BYRD. He was so tired- so, so tired. But he wasn’t allowed to go to bed. Not until at least five. He refused. Still, his eyelids drooped and his head swam as he struggled to stay conscious.

There was a sigh on the other side of the room, pulling him out of his muddled thoughts. He glanced over to see Virgil looking at him from where he sat on top of his desk. His arms were crossed, and an eyebrow raised. Logan was aware that he appeared to be feeling a negative emotion, but he couldn’t figure out which one.

“Are we gonna do this every night?” Virgil asked.

Logan reached up and rubbed at his eyes. “I am unaware of what you’re referring to,” he mumbled.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil shook his head. “Logan. Go back to bed.”

“No.”

“Logan.”

“It’s unnecessary. I’ve already slept for nine hours.”

“Clearly it was restful, since you’ve been ready to pass out for the past two hours,” Virgil pointed out.

Logan glared at him and turned to look at the wall. “I’m perfectly fine,” he grumbled.

“You’re not,” Virgil snapped. “You’re moody, lazy, and exhausted. You’re turning into me, and that’s not okay. What the heck is up with you?”

“What’s up with me is that I’m-!”

He clamped down on his tongue before the words could finish leaving his mouth. That I’m not good enough. I’m not reaching the potential everyone assumes I have. Mother would be disappointed in me, and I’m disappointed in me, too.

“That you’re what?” Virgil asked.

“Nothing.”

“Logan…”

“I said, it’s nothing. Go back to your… groveling, or whatever it is you do at three in the-”

A groan broke through his words; Logan and Virgil froze while Roman’s wings fluttered and he shifted in his sleep. They remained silent for a good moment once he’d settled.

Finally, Virgil huffed and pushed himself off of the desk. “Come out here,” he whispered, gingerly pulling the door open. Logan pushed past any worry he had and did as told.

As soon as the door was shut behind them, Virgil crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “We want to help you,” he growled. “Okay? That’s all we want. We’re worried sick over you, Lo. You haven’t been eating, you haven’t been sleeping- except, apparently, when you’re on an aircraft curled up next to your stupid crush -you haven’t been acting like yourself at all. What the heck is going on? And I’m not taking your stupid ‘nothing’ for an answer! Alright?”

Logan glared at him for a long moment. “I do not have a crush on Thamir.”

“That wasn’t the question. And even if it was, you’re lying.”

“I’m not. I’m not interested in boys at all. I’m heterosexual.”

Virgil stared at him. He glanced at the door, and then back to Logan. “Are you- Wait… So… Team BYRD-?”

Eyes widening, Logan frantically shook his head. “Absolutely not! No!”

“But you stare at-”

“I don’t even like Team BYRD! I look at the poster because the bright colors of their outfits are appealing to the eye and capture one’s attention! I have absolutely no desire to have anything to do with Team BYRD!”

Virgil held up his hands. “Alright, I get it! You changed the subject. Don’t think I didn’t notice. What’s going on?”

Letting out a deep breath, Logan reached up to adjust his glasses, only to remember they were still in the dorm. He settled instead for rubbing his eyes. “…Must I tell you?”

“Yes,” Virgil answered. “We can’t help you if we don’t know what’s going on. Talking about it might help, anyway.”

Logan leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. Silently, he stared at the carpet for a long moment. Virgil sat on the other side of the door frame and watched.

“…I…” Logan let out a sigh. “Do you recall Trix’s statements on Saturday?”

Virgil’s eyes darted around the hall. “Uh… Telling us to not tell Patton what a dilf is because it’s funnier that way?”

“Not that, though I do still very much disagree with her. If we tell him, there’s significantly less of a chance that he’s going to repeat calling himself-”

“Logan. Tangent.”

“Yes. Sorry. I was referring to what she said about how Team BYRD acted,” Logan explained. “I may not be a big fan, but there’s no denying they were a respected and… Well, a great team. A team that many strive to be as good as, and we… We should be no exception.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “And?”

He kept his eyes glued to the carpet. “Trix also suggested that I… Don’t have a great balance between work and recreation, and I think she was right. I’ve recounted how I’ve acted for most of my life and the things she said were true. I am what many would see as boring and antisocial, and I hardly ever break the rules. Up until now, I was unaware that a balance between the two was necessary. I’m simply trying to learn how to make up for my errors.”

There was silence. Logan forced himself to look at Virgil to find his teammate staring at him, brow furrowed. He glanced away and back, unsure of how to respond.

“Should I… Continue explaining?”

“Is there more to explain?”

“I… suppose.”

“Keep talking, Pocket Protector.”

Logan deflated, looking back to the floor. “Well… I grew up under a lot of pressure to do exceptionally. My parents were both Hunters- Father the first in his family as a marvel of genetics, and Mother the most successful in an ancestry. Many people believe that because I am a product of their genetics, I will go on to be an amazing Huntsman.”

His eyes drooped to his hands, where he picked at his fingernails. He felt his voice fall a little softer. “Everyone assumes that I will end up being better than even my mother was. When she passed away, people believed it would help me in my grieving to tell me that she would be proud of me, and they make a point to continue to tell me that today. But… I am starting to be under the impression that it has… worsened my mental health.”

Hands falling into his lap, Logan looked at Virgil. “All of these people assume they knew her, in the same way people assume they know you and assume they know me. But no one really knows anyone. Unless one has a telepathic Semblance, it’s impossible to know what another is thinking. So how could they know if she was proud of me?” He looked at the wall and lifted his hands, exasperated. “How could they know where the line is between pride and disappointment? Mother must have had high expectations for how successful she was! How can I ever know where that line fell? How can-?”

His voice cracked; Logan caught his vision blurring further than it was already. His shoulders dropped as he wiped at his eyes.

“How can I ever know where I fall?” he whispered.

Logan squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to stay hidden as he swallowed away the lump in his throat. There was shuffling, and then he heard the door rattle as Virgil leaned against it.

They were quiet for a long beat.

Finally, he heard Virgil take in a breath. “…You don’t know,” he said. “And you’re never going to.”

Logan wiped at his eyes, letting his hand fall into his lap again.

“I know it’s hard to hear, but there’s nothing you can do about it. All you can do is speculate and imagine what she’d think, and trust me, dude, you’re only going to worry yourself in circles thinking like that. But… I highly doubt doing what you’re doing now would’ve gotten you on the side you want to be,” Virgil continued. “You’re right in that there’s a balance between work and play, but what work is and what play is isn’t the same for everyone. Rebelling the way that you are isn’t helping you with anything, Logan.”

“How do I know?” he asked, looking at Virgil’s knees. “What constitutes as work? What doesn’t?”

Shrugging, Virgil shook his head. “It depends on you. What do you like?”

“Well…” Logan’s eyes lifted to look at the wallpaper as his mind turned. “I… enjoy astronomy. And learning, and my special interests- talking about them, too…”

“Okay, so you’re doing what you enjoy when you study, right?” Virgil asked.

Logan slowly nodded. “Yes, very much.”

“Then it falls under both ‘work’ and ‘play’. Lucky you. It pays off to be a nerd.”

He frowned, looking at him. “But… Trix stated that-”

“Trix doesn’t know you,” Virgil cut off. “Didn’t you just say that no one really knows anyone else? Why would Trix be an exception to that? Is her Semblance reading people’s minds?”

“What? No, that’s ridiculous. Her Semblance is an increase in strength when she’s near someone she’s formed a bond with.”

Virgil held out his hands. “There’s no reason she would know anything about you. Just because something’s boring or antisocial to her doesn’t mean it’s boring or antisocial to you. Everyone’s different. Breaking the rules is a different matter, but have you heard the stories Roman’s told about how much trouble she gets into? I don’t think I’d take her advice on rebelling, if I were you.”

Logan was silent; Virgil leaned back to lay on the floor, propping himself up on one elbow.

“You’ve gotta get back to normal, man,” he said. “You need to sleep, and to eat, and do your homework, and go to class. Patton’s gonna have an aneurysm if you keep this up. That, or burn down the place while declaring his love for you. Either of which isn’t ideal.”

“If I have to do these things, then so do you,” Logan shot back. “I have yet to see you hold up a healthy routine with most of those points that you listed.”

“I go to class!”

“I said most, not all.”

Scoffing, Virgil rolled his eyes. “So, what? I don’t eat breakfast or get eight hours of sleep a night. Big deal.”

“It’s not only that,” Logan said. “You eat very little for someone as tall as you are, and lack of sleep can lead to a multitude of problems. Not to mention the fact that not doing your homework is going to make your grades lower tremendously-”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Virgil interrupted, climbing to his feet. “Since it’s such a big deal to you, let’s just go to bed now. It’s only 3:30.”

While Virgil pulled his scroll out of his pocket, Logan stood and nodded. “Yes, that does seem like it would be ideal, especially considering you haven’t had any sleep tonight.”

The door unlocked, and they shut off the top light as they went in, bidding each other goodnight before crawling under their covers. Moonlight shone through the window and cast a soft glow on the room. Logan was grateful.

As he settled into his pillow, his eyes fell to the Team BYRD poster. The four smiling faces caused a tired one to form on his. He reached onto his bed post to grab his necklace and held it close to his chest as he shut his eyes and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

#sanders sides #sanders side fic #RWBY AU #prvl #alex writes

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