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ahundredtimesover · 1 year

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love love love the plm jealousy drabble! can you also write a super needy, subby plm koo 🥹 only if you have the time and energy! Tysm 🫰🏻

This is 5 months late but here it is - my take on "subby" Koo even if I do not know how to write this kind of dynamic. But I tried with CK JK in mind so I hope you like it. There's also lots of fluff and teasing and walking down memory lane and this is me, making up for the past 2 angsty parts. 🙂

Title: Please Love Me Bonus (09) - The Lake House

WC: 16,648

Tags/Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, past illness; CK JK, lots of teasing and fluff; talks of past sexcapdes; explicit sexual content ("subby" JK & OC trying to be a "dom" (??), mutual masturbation, thigh riding, oral (m & f receiving), straddling, fingering, lots of kissing, penetrative sex, creampie??) (18+) I’m obviously unsure of my smut pls forgive me 😅😅

Series Masterlist

“Am I making your heart flutter again, Mrs. Jeon?”

Jungkook smirks as he asks, his body turning towards you when he reaches the stoplight.

Seated on the driver’s seat with his one hand on the wheel and the other one on yours, you shyly smile, knowing you’ve been caught, even if you weren’t really hiding your obvious attraction for your husband on this specific day.

He’s got the short sleeves of his plain white shirt rolled up, his arm tattoos looking bright under the summer sun. His hair is curlier than usual as it’s grown longer, and paired with the denim jeans that you asked him to wear, he’s an absolute stunner.

“You know the answer to that, hun,” you giggle, briefly looking away before he tugs your hand to look at him again.

“I wanna hear you say it, baby,” he urges, his eyebrows wiggling now.

You know that he’ll take any chance he has to hear you confirm that you’re ogling him, and well, you’ve told yourself that you’ll do that every few times just to see him be a giggly mess.

“You are, Kook,” you concede. “My heart’s non-threateningly leaping out of my chest right now. You’re so handsome and you’re so happy; it’s my favorite version of you.”

“Ah, I thought post-shower Jungkook is your favorite,” he teases. “But you also said that about post-sex Jungkook, and post-gym Jungkook, and Jungkook with his glasses on, and—”

“Oh stop it,” you laugh, getting flustered at him pointing out just how weak you are for him. He’s not wrong, though. “They’re all my favorites.”

“You can’t have more than one favorite though,” he playfully rolls his eyes.

“So then what’s your favorite version of me?” You ask, challenging him.

“The present one,” he winks. “Today’s you is my favorite as of today; yesterday’s you was my favorite as of yesterday, and then the day before that was… you get my drift. Each one has been my favorite and it changes everyday.”

“You’re a cheater,” you shake your head.

“I am a lover, babe. I love every version of you.”

You cover your face as you feel embarrassed for you and him, and you’re glad you’re the only two people who are witnessing your husband be incredibly cheesy, which happens every once in a while. You know he does it to make you laugh but you also know there’s truth to the things he says, no matter how cringey they could be sometimes. He loves you that way, and you like that he does.

“Do you love the version that upsets you, too? And that cries and gets sad when you’re away?” You wonder out loud, knowing that any reference to your recent fight and its aftermath doesn’t hurt you both as much as it used to.

It was two weeks ago when he took the 4-hour drive from Busan to Seoul to be with you, and you’ve both been more comfortable talking about the things that hurt since then. It’s how you managed to get back to how things were, playfulness included.

“Of course, babe,” he says, more serious and softer now. “I love you even when I’m angry. And even if it’s hard to see you cry, I love it when I get to hold you again. And then, you know, we have sex and then you talk dirty to me.”

“Kook!” You squeal, feeling your cheeks warm at the reminder.

You’re rarely ever vulgar during sex, letting Jungkook take the reins in all ways including vocally, but that night, you felt so much desire that you just wanted to push him a little, perhaps make him feel how he makes you feel, and your words did what you wanted them to. He came so hard and you basked in the joy that you could do that to him. Thinking about it now makes you shiver, and you truly can’t wait for the long weekend you’ve been afforded to go out of town and be together, knowing what you’ll be doing most of the time.

“Why are you shy about it?” He chuckles, taking your hand from your face and kissing it. “It was so fucking hot, okay? And since you don’t do it much, it surprises me whenever you do, and that’s just… shit I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

“Honey, behave,” you laugh, although the thought that he could get turned out at the memory of that night makes you giddy. Perhaps that version of you could show up in the next few days.

“I will,” he smiles sweetly now. “But you know it doesn’t matter, right? You could just be lying in bed and sounding the way you always do and that’s all I need. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Just you.”

Your nose scrunches as you try to temper your smile, but it gives him more reasons to tease you.

“Your heart fluttering again?” He wiggles his eyebrows now.

You pout in response and he can’t help but laugh, and the sound of it warms your heart in ways you can’t fully express. You were without it for weeks, as you recall the days following your stint at the hospital, how Jungkook had been cold to you until things blew over, and how he was distant right after because he didn’t know how to handle all his conflicting emotions towards you. Looking back now, your biggest fight since getting married was because of how much love you both have for each other, and that says a lot about how far you’ve come.

Despite the weeks since then having been tough for Jungkook because of the meetings and project preparations he had to manage, he made sure to go home to you, hug you every night, message when he can’t call, and let you know that he needs you even when he’s just about ready to pull his hair from stress. And you were there, letting him lay on your chest, massaging his head, and kissing him constantly to let him know that you’ll weather the storm with him, no matter how tough things get.

After getting things going and delegating the tasks for his project, Jungkook got the approval from his father to get two days off, which is why you’re both on the way to Busan, having missed home so much. You’ve both only visited since you got married but never stayed long enough to go around, and like what you both promised each other, you’ll make new memories in the places that hold unpleasant ones. Home felt the same but you’re both different now, and the flirty smile that Jungkook gives you is evidence of that.

Perhaps it’s his feeling of temporary freedom that makes him look a lot more handsome today; he’s smiling and laughing and teasing, and it’s when his youthfulness shines. Perhaps it’s the way the sun highlights his caramel skin, or the way his curls fall on his shoulders, or maybe it’s the casual look that isn’t his usual sweatshirt and joggers ensemble that’s making him look even more irresistible. Maybe it’s everything, as he bops his head to the sounds of his playlist, his carefree vibe somehow making him glow.

Maybe you’re just as excited, and so everything he’s done since this morning is probably just preparing you for what’s to come.

You’d stopped to watch him dress up earlier and commented that he could be a jeans and underwear model, and he’d laughed, saying that in contrast to his younger years, he no longer feels comfortable walking in his boxers around strangers. He had to clarify that he joined some community fashion show during one of his backpacking trips because his companion convinced him and he was a hit; everyone was cheering and then flirting with him afterwards. He’s done with that, he’d said. You’re the only one he wants to see him that way; he’d give you a private show if you wanted, he teased.

During your stopover at a cafe for breakfast, he was sitting on the chair with his legs spread wide while sipping his coffee, and you allowed yourself just about a minute to imagine climbing on his lap and marking his pretty neck while he moaned your name.

And this whole drive, he’d been nothing but a tease - combing his hair with his fingers, dragging his tongue along his lips just because, and singing along to love songs while smirking at you. All the while, you’re smiling like a giddy teenager admiring her crush, and Jungkook makes sure to call you out on it. But you don’t mind, really, not when he stops at a shoulder on the road just to kiss the pout off your face and tell you that he becomes such a giddy mess every time he sees you be a mess yourself for him.

“Kook,” you whine against his mouth, wanting it all over you even if you know it’s not the time nor place. “We have to go to our grandparents’. You know they don’t like it when we’re late.”

“They miss us too much to get angry,” he argues, as he presses kisses down your neck.

“We’re still out on the road and in public,” you counter, panting now as your pleasure increases. “And I don’t want to go into that lunch with messy underwear because that’s what’s about to happen. Please, hun, I—” your moan cuts you off when his fingers press onto your clothed pussy, feeling now the effect he has on you.

“Hmm, baby,” he groans, suddenly frustrated at not being able to do anything more right now.

He shouldn’t have teased you like this but he also couldn’t go on another minute not kissing you after you looked at him the way you’ve been all morning. There’s this perpetual desire in your eyes, as if you’re savoring every action that he makes, perhaps coming up with scenarios in your head that he hopes you’d play out once you’re both alone. He suddenly wants to fast forward to tonight for that, knowing it’ll take you until the early hours of the morning to get fully satisfied.

“We should save all this energy for later, okay?” You say, taking his fingers that felt you up in your mouth, wanting to get back at him but also wanting to excite him; his hardened gaze says you succeeded. “In the meantime, we have to act like the precious, wholesome couple that our grandparents think we are.”

“Hey, we’re wholesome sometimes,” Jungkook laughs, willing himself to pull away from you and continue driving. “But, uh, do you think they’ll ask us about having children again? I don’t really know what to tell them; we can’t really ask them to not be on our business like we can with our parents. I just don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I know, same here,” you sigh. “But Mother told me that she told them not to bring it up, since I have to focus on getting healthy again after what happened. Hopefully our grandparents won’t hound us about it.”

“If they do, then let’s just be honest.”

“And say what?”

“That we’re living our best lives and we’ve decided to let life surprise us,” Jungkook says. “And that it’ll come. And when it does, it’s gonna be really special because we prepared ourselves for it. Because that’s what we’re doing, right?”

“It is,” you smile, liking how he’s able to talk about having children in a casual manner now, with less of the fear and more of the excitement.

You may still be just letting things take its course - with some false alarms along the way - but the challenges in between have been helpful in preparing yourselves for eventually starting a family. You know that when it happens, it’s going to be everything you imagined it to be.

Your grandparents’ estate is not far from the beach. They bought a humble home in this area decades ago and slowly expanded the property by buying the surrounding land, until they were able to build a large main house with smaller living quarters for when their children and grandchildren visit.

The garden is large and well-designed. You claimed a section of it when you were young. It’s where you had your playhouse set up because playing in it was the only thing you could do; you weren’t allowed to run around like Seokjin and Soyeon were. There was a spot where you laid your mat to play with your dolls; as you grew older, it became the place where you’d read books or paint or draw. The playhouse is still there, a little old and rusty but you imagine your future children playing in there one day.

There’s a tall tree in the center and you stand underneath. It’s the one that used to shade you when you would watch your siblings play with the Jeons.

Apparently, it’s also the spot of your first picture with your husband, as you find out from your grandparents. Your grandmother holds an old photo they recovered from one of their albums - you and Jungkook at 2 years old, standing next to each other, with him in a red hooded jacket and you in a yellow sundress. There’s distance in between, but you’re both posing the way little kids do, and you can’t stop gushing over how adorable you both looked.

“Honey, look at us!” You giggle. “Two years before you started disliking me.”

“You mean, 2 years before you rejected me?” He counters, pouting at you.

You both pose the same way for another photo - Jungkook with a peace sign by his head and you with your close-lipped, sweet smile - and lay the polaroid next to the old picture, over 25 years apart. It’s amazing how things play out, you think to yourself as you gaze at them. Life does surprise you, and realizing it decades later is a different kind of special.

Jungkook makes you take another photo so he has a copy, and you indulge him, knowing he gets pretty sentimental about these things. He said once that he wishes he had more of your joint childhood to remember and treasure, but much of that only lives in your mind because you’re the one who always paid attention; he was the one who tried not to mind you even if you were right next to him, the jealousy clouding his mind. Which is why whatever piece of your past he finds, he’ll take it, if only to put together the puzzle of your lives back then, and smile because even if he doesn’t remember much of that, he remembers everything about this - your now and everyday.

He goes through other old photo albums of your grandparents, telling his grandparents that he’ll check their stack as well when you both visit on your last day. It’s stories of the yesteryears that fill the air as you finish your meal, and you’re thankful that everyone is immersed in the stories to even bring up your sickness or your future family.

The sound of Jungkook’s laughter fills your heart once more, and as he pulls you close under that same tree for a kiss, you think that it’s another new memory you’re going to hold dear.

Pulling up to the side of the road, Jungkook turns off the engine and meets you by the railings overlooking a semi-private beach. It’s one of several in town and Jungkook’s favorite. This is where he first learned to surf and he spent much of his time here with Jimin and Taehyung.

He tells you this as you both walk down the steps to get to the shore, reminiscing the days when things were much simpler.

“So that’s why you chose this for your 13th birthday party,” you say, looking around. “It’s gorgeous, Kook.”

“You knew I had it here?” He looks at you curiously, immediately thinking that Junghyun had told you.

“Yeah, I could tell from that big rock,” you say, pointing to it near the shore. “You had photos there and your brother told me how your mom was yelling at you to not jump from it. I… I asked him to show me pictures when he visited me at the hospital. I told him I wanted to see how happy you were.”

“You were recovering from surgery but you were still thinking about me, huh?” Jungkook says, a sigh almost escaping his lips at the thought.

“You were really excited about it and I was sad I couldn’t go. If I was strong enough, I would have, but I guess you wouldn’t have noticed either way,” you laugh, knowing that Jungkook didn’t pay much attention to you then.

“I was pretty bitter, actually,” he admits. “You were supposed to be family but you didn’t come - that was the thought in my head. Silly, right? And pretty childish.”

“You didn’t know, Kook,” you assure him. “So you were looking for me?”

“Sort of,” he laughs. “I was being petty. I remember not wanting to ask hyung where you were so I never did, but I just chalked it up to you never attending parties anyway, so what would be different about me?”

“Yours was the only party I would actually go to, but I didn’t want to be the boring girl to you who just sat at the table while everyone enjoyed,” you reason. “So I never went to the ones after that. I always wanted to, though. But that doesn’t really matter now, does it?” You turn to him and smile before you wrap his arms around your waist. “I’m literally family and we’re here together. I think this is a nice good memory to make.”

“It is,” he says, kissing your cheek. “I’m glad I took you here with me. Immature 13-year old Jungkook can get over it now. If I told him I’d be marrying you 12 years later, he’d probably cuss me out.”

“You were cursing at 13?!”

“Yeah. Don’t tell my Mother.”

You laugh together as you head back to the car, the late afternoon heat starting to prick at your skin. It’s been a long day but you’re nowhere near done. You take the half-hour drive to your home for the next few days, a place that holds a lot of unpleasant memories for you, which is why you insisted on staying there.

One of the Jeons’ beach houses would’ve been an easy choice, but when you told him where you wanted to go, he immediately understood.

With your luggage bags in his hands, Jungkook looks around the graveled pathway and at the cabin in front of him. “So this is the place, huh?”

The place, he repeats in his head - the one where you found refuge in when you wanted to be away from him after he’d hurt you. That fight before your wedding was years ago but sometimes, it still feels like not much time has passed. He gets to see where you spent your days though, and while that may remind you of how hard it was back then, you could at least remember it now as a place where you both spent your weekend together.

“This is the main house,” you say, ringing the doorbell and greeting the caretaker who welcomes you. You smile at the lake view just across; it calms your senses as it did all those years ago. “They only allow a small percentage of land to be used for residential purposes. When my siblings and I got older, my parents wanted to give us our own spaces, so they bought the surrounding areas so we can build our own houses however we want.”

You walk out to a covered pathway that leads you to your own piece of paradise - a one-floor home with a veranda that’s overlooking the lake. It has an open floor plan with the kitchen and dining on the left of the entrance. At the center is a freestanding wall that separates the sleeping area from the living room, both spaces having a good view of the water. The corner on the left houses your painting materials, giving you access to the outside where the magic happens.

There’s a stretch of land down the steps towards another walkway that juts out to the lake, and as you lean by the railing, you take in everything that you see. It’s been years but a lot of things look the same, and just like this city, it still is; it’s you and the man next to you who are different.

“So what did you do while you were here?” He asks, trying to imagine how you spent your days while he wasted away in your apartment in Seoul.

“I… cried,” you admit. “I was upset but I still missed you. But I also painted a bit, read books… Most times I just sat here. It’s so picturesque, you don’t really get tired of it. It helped because I kept thinking about you being alone and worried even if I wasn’t ready to speak with you then.”

“I was thinking of you a lot back then, too,” he says, facing you now and taking your hand. “I hated that you were alone and I didn’t know how to get to you. But I guess I should thank this place, too, for letting you breathe and letting you think. Is that how you forgave me?”

“It was,” you smile. “After my emotions settled, I thought that one day, I’d like to bring you here. I’m glad I could do that now.”

Jungkook smiles at you softly before his eyes turn desirous. “So are you gonna paint and read books and just sit out here this time, too?”

“Hmm, I could,” you smile back. “But I was also thinking of making love to you here. I think that would be nice.”

“It would be,” he hums, cupping your cheek now and pulling you in for a kiss. “We could probably start now, huh?”

His free hand sneaks inside your dress to cup your breast, and you jerk when he flicks your pert bud and you’re taken out of his spell.

“Honey, I’d love that but we have a dinner reservation soon,” you say, pulling away. “It’s jazz night and we said we’d catch that.”

Jungkook doesn’t look disappointed. He agreed with tonight, after all, and he thinks he’d just be craving more and more if you started anything right now, so he lets you go for a shower while he unpacks his things.

He looks out the water as the sun starts to set and spots the two other houses not far away. It seems as though those have been renovated, with extra rooms for your siblings’ kids now, and Jungkook wonders when you’ll have your own place extended for another room.

He lets the thought settle in, as he continues to get used to the idea of having a family with you. It would be nice, he imagines, driving off during long weekends to come here and enjoy the scenery and just spend time together. Your children would grow up knowing their great-grandparents, running around the same garden and beaches that he did, perhaps playing with your old toys, too. He knows those have been preserved at your request, waiting for the perfect time to give them away.

You call out to him and he turns around to find you in a simple linen dress, the neckline low enough for your tattoo to make an appearance. You look stunning, as always, and he has to stop himself from pulling you for another kiss.

He gets ready and goes out in a white button-up long-sleeve polo, loose enough for the cool summer evening. He catches you staring at him again, and he smirks at you to let you know that once dinner is over, your long night will begin.

The restaurant is just 10 minutes away by car. It’s fancy yet still cozy, serving some of his favorite elevated local dishes. The jazz performance is great, and with a small crowd, the singer encourages the guests to take the dance floor and that’s what Jungkook does, taking your hand and asking you to dance with him.

You’re shy at first but give in. Flushed against his chest, you both sway more than anything, and inhaling his ocean scent while he caresses your back, you feel that warmth that only his love can give, the kind of warmth you’ll constantly seek.

You finish your glass of wine before you head back to the car, with Jungkook laughing over something on his phone right before you leave, saying that the guys’ group chat is blowing up.

“What are they up to now?” You ask.

“Tae did this stranger role play with his girlfriend,” he shares. “You know, when they pretend like they don’t know each other and pick each other up?”

“O… kay. And then?”

“He got made up to look like some old Hollywood actor with the red jacket and slick hair and all. And people flocked to him to flirt before he could even get to his girlfriend. I can imagine she wanted to stop it all right then,” Jungkook narrates.

“Why don’t they just stay at their place and flirt there?” You say. “They can even dress up if they want to. Why go through the struggle?”

“Because it’s fun!” Jungkook exclaims. “There’s a kind of thrill from doing that, especially in a public place. The usual role play can get a bit over-the-top sometimes.”

“And you know that because… you’ve done it?” You ask, ready for his answer because you’re used to him just casually mentioning his previous sex adventures by now.

“Just the usual,” he shrugs. “Boss-secretary, doctor-patient… She was into it and I went along because sure, why not?”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Is that a trick question?” He asks, as he parks the car.

“No…” you answer. “I’m just wondering if role playing is something you like. If it is, then we can, I don’t know. Maybe try?”

He furrows his brows at you as you both enter your house, curious as to why you’re suggesting it when he knows it’s something that would make you uncomfortable.

“Or like… uh, what else could we do?” You wonder out loud.

“Baby, we don’t have to do anything else,” he says, pulling you by the waist now. “If this is about you wanting to be ‘adventurous’ to appease me, then I’m gonna stop you right there.”

“I was just curious,” you pout. “I mean, it’s no secret that you’ve done a lot of these… ‘adventurous’ things with your partners - sex in a tent, in an alley, behind a waterfall… a sex show, and role playing as well? I guess I’m just wondering if you want us to do something exciting, too. If you’re still into that.”

“Baby, why would I want something else ‘exciting’ when I’ve got you?” He says, his onyx eyes boring into you to let you know that he means every word. “I married the prettiest girl in the world. Why would sex with you not be exciting? You know how fast I get hard with you. That’s… that’s exciting.”

You feel your cheeks warm again because he’s right. He does get hard pretty fast.

“Plus, we’ve skinny dipped, had sex in a caravan, in the car, on a deck…” he continues. “But to be honest, you could just be lying down and I’d be all set.”

“That’s literally all I do,” you laugh embarrassingly.

He’s always known that you like things simple. Sure, you give in to Jungkook’s requests, but most of the time, you settle for the same positions that you know give so much pleasure. You’re content; you just wonder if he is, too.

“Not all the time,” he corrects. “And those are just as exciting as when you’re coming undone under me and moaning my name, your perfect tits bouncing and your tattoo reminding me how much you love me.” He kisses your neck and you sigh in satisfaction at the movement. “I could get hard just thinking about that.”

You merely hum in response, not able to move on from it. You want to surprise him, maybe go out of your comfort zone to excite him differently, and so your wandering mind continues, something he picks up.

“Okay. Why don’t you… take control this time,” he suggests. “It’s nothing crazy. It’s just you directing me what you want me to do, how you want me to do it… anything.”

“That’s fine, hun, except there are times when I try to do that but you get so impatient and touch me right away,” you counter, chuckling now as you recall the times you direct him what position you want but his mind goes blank once things intensify and so he’s got his mouth and fingers inside and on you in seconds.

“Fine, then we’ll do it without me being able to use my hands, then,” he says. “I’ll only use them when you ask, and stop when you ask. Are you okay with that?”

Your mind thinks of all the scenarios you’ve been playing in your mind all day, and you lick your lips in anticipation.

“Looks like you are,” he says proudly, excitedly. “I guess then, we can start?”

You nod your yes. “You’ll be good for me?”

“Fuck, yes,” he groans, his eyes widening in anticipation. “I’ll be so good for you, baby.”

“Kook, that wasn’t meant to be dirty talk or whatever,” you giggle. “I just meant that you’ll be good in following the instructions you set out.”

“Don’t care baby. Don’t take it back. But say it again, please?”

The way his eyes plead does something to you, and so you let your inhibitions go and follow what your pussy says. And right now, it wants to command Jungkook.

You bite your lip before kissing him softly on the neck, trailing up until you reach his ear.

“You’ll be good for me?” You whisper sultrily this time.

He releases an incredibly deep grunt before he answers. “Yes, baby. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Okay,” you pant, feeling your heart race now. “Kiss me. Just kiss me.”

Your mouths crash against each other, desperate and wanting in their movements. Your tongues fight for dominance but he lets you take this, liking how you aggressively take him in and pull his hair, causing him to moan, even more as his hands remain at his sides, aching to touch you but he promised he’ll be good; he promised to let you take control even if all he wants right now is to rip off your clothes and make out with your body.

You moan as well, slowing down now as you try to catch your breath. You face him, your eyes glassy and your lips swollen, and he seems to like what he sees. You take his balled-up fists and unclench them, placing them over his top.

“Undress please,” you say softly. “And do it slowly.”

Jungkook follows, his fingers working on the buttons carefully, skillfully, making sure you get to see and remember what those digits could do to you. He can’t wait for you to direct him to work those on you later on.

He gets everything undone and so he removes it - slowly, as you asked.

You gaze at his toned body, crafted by immaculate beings themselves as they created him so perfectly - the tautness of his chest, the line down his torso that branches out to his abs, the narrowness of his waist, all complementing the gorgeous face that you also can’t get enough of.

His jeans hang right underneath the white band of his underwear, and though you love this look on him, you like something better.

“Pants off,” you say this time.

And he follows, undoing the button and unzipping his jeans, pushing them off him until they pool on his ankle. His feet do the work of ridding himself of the heavy material, and all the while, his eyes are set on you - dark with lust and challenging you to do more, to ask him of more.

“Sit on the couch for me, baby,” the pet name coming out during tense moments like this.

He walks there as you say, and you watch his half-naked form move away from you, and it’s making you go feral.

“Where do you want my hands?” He asks when you’re finally standing in front of him.

“Just on the side,” you answer, your mind going hazy as you admire him seated on the couch now, his legs spread enough for you to see the stiff member in between.

His eyes remain on you but you’re staring at his gorgeous lap and those blue boxer briefs he’s wearing, shaping him in all the right ways. You take this time to ready yourself, removing your dress for him to observe. With your lace underwear, you know you’ve got him craving for you. His jaw tightens and you know just how to ruin him.

You kneel down in front of him and he seems to know what you’re up to, as he clenches his fists to control himself. He looks like he really wants to break his own rules now. But you push on, meeting his eyes before licking a strip over his clothed cock. It’s hardened even more now, and you can’t wait for what you’re about to ask him to do. You softly bite the flesh, feeling him strain his thighs as you tease him relentlessly.

Once you think you’ve teased him enough, you look up at him. “I want to see,” you whisper. “Take it out for me, show me what I do to you.”

He grunts before he follows, taking his cock out of his boxer brief, begging in his mind that you’d let him at least squeeze it because with you in your underwear on, commanding him like this while still maintaining your softness and hints of shyness, he’s losing his mind; he’s in real pain right now.

“Do you think about me when you’re away?” You ask.

“Yes, baby. I think about you all the time.”

“What do you think about?”

“Kissing you,” he grunts. “Tasting you, sucking every sensitive part of you, making love to you. Fuck, baby, I could go on.”

“Can you show me what you do when you think about those things?” You say, taking deep breaths now as you prepare yourself for what you’re about to see.

Jungkook sighs in relief and gets to it, squeezing his throbbing member and stroking it as you requested. He wouldn’t have known that this is what you wanted him to do. He’s obviously touched himself during the times before sex, and he also really does it when he’s away from you, but doing it this way - on the couch while you now stand before him, your eyes watching his every move - it’s exhilarating.

He continues his movement, getting into it completely as he takes in the way you look, especially with your parted mouth and heaving chest as you watch him pleasure himself to the sight of you. It seems like you’re in a daze, as your eyes don’t move away from him.

It’s the way his perfect slender fingers wrap around his thick, hard cock. It’s the way they glide, how his thumb occasionally presses the tip, how he starts to heave, feeling the pleasure build up, and how his head leans back and his back arches, revealing the column of his smooth neck, a perfect canvas for you to mark later on. You don’t stop the moan that you release, wanting to get into it, too, as the sight of your husband touching himself to the thought of you is so captivating. Seeing that this is what he does when he’s missing you makes you giddy, and you get to marvel at all of that right now.

You sit on the coffee table, your eyes still not leaving him. You feel the dampness in your underwear, so you press your fingers onto it for that much-needed friction, and you’re left wanting more. You remove it, feeling the string of essence stick to you and disappear as you throw your lace clothing on his side.

You touch yourself, too, your fingers drowning in how wet you are. They aid in your own pleasure, as you rub patterns on your clit that has Jungkook’s eyes widening in shock as you get into your own action, quickening by the second. Your eyes drift away briefly from him as your thighs start to shake, only being brought back when you hear him ask you to “open up.”

You spread your legs wider to give him a view, knowing that will help him. You want him to reach that peak, and you want to see him do so, since you miss out most of the time because you’re too caught up in the haze of how he pleasures you. You continue with your movements, speeding up once you feel you’re close to the edge, and Jungkook matches your pace, only for you to crash first.

“Oh my god,” you heave, feeling the mess you’ve made of yourself, and seeing it, too, as it pools on the coffee table.

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook groans, his hand still working on his cock. “That’s so hot, I’m— fuck, I’m close. I want to come, baby. Fuck.”

He looks at you like he’s pleading, but you want to be selfish. You want to hold onto this scene of Jungkook pleasuring himself like this.

“Just a little bit more,” you end up saying out loud.

He concedes, knowing he’s given you all control. He slows down a bit, just so he won’t make a mess before you’ve asked him to.

You see his thighs shaking, his jaw clenching so tightly, and the veins from his hands and arms popping out form how much he’s controlling himself.

“Fuck, baby. I can’t take it anymore,” he pants.

You don’t want him to suffer. You’ve ingrained this scene in your mind already, so you tell him he can come, and the grunt that he releases will live in your mind, too. He paints his torso with his slick, but you get to him before it all ends, as you kneel back down and take his dick in your hand to swallow all that’s left.

“Shit, baby,” he groans again, taking you in with your eyes closed, lapping him up as you lick him off. “You drive me crazy. That was so hot.”

You sweetly smile at him before spotting his cum on his abs, perfectly placed on the dips and ridges, tempting you to clean him up.

And that’s what you do, as you lean forward and lick what’s remaining of his seed, your tongue gliding upwards and to the sides of his stunning plane. You lick and suck each patch of skin in your way, and you feel him still shaking a little bit, perhaps still coming down from his high. You get to his nipples, dark and beautiful as you nibble on them while trailing up to meet him in a searing kiss, letting him taste himself on you.

“I’m sorry for making you hold back,” you whisper against his lips, meaning it because you could tell he’d really wanted to come.

“No need to, babe,” he responds, heaving. “That was so sexy; I was losing my mind.”

You giddily smile, and Jungkook doesn’t know how you can maintain that sweetness while saying words and doing things that make him breathless.

“Can you go again?” You ask, eyeing his flaccid cock and licking your lips.

“As much as you want me to,” he replies, his body tensing in anticipation once more when you trace his dick with your fingers, tugging on the hem of his boxer brief until you’re pulling it off him completely.

You place it on his side and return to kneeling in front of him, capturing his gaze and savoring the look of him naked and willing. “I really like that brand of underwear.”

“I’ve been wearing that since I was a teenager.”

“I know,” you hum, earning him a cocked eyebrow from you. “You used to wear those low rise jeans that showed your brief’s waistband, and then you’d pull up your shirt or do cartwheels or anything to show off. It wasn’t hard to miss.”

You giggle at the memory, recalling how anytime Jungkook revealed slivers of skin when you were both in your teens, you’d get flustered and look away. Your siblings and Junghyun didn’t miss how nervous you’d been then, saying that your little crush grew up with the both of you.

“Ah, yeah. It made the girls go wild,” he smugly says.

“That includes me now. It’s probably the tiny waist,” you say, kissing him there, your hair dangling over his skin that causes him to curse.

“Or the strong thighs.” You spread his legs open so you can kiss him in places, too, finding his sensitive parts and licking him there. He stiffens at your movements, his clenched fists clenching even more, and when you look at his dazed eyes, you know you’ve got him wanting again.

“Fuck, fuck, baby,” he heaves, losing breath once more.

“Or, to those lucky enough to see it, your pretty cock,” you smile sweetly again, as if your words aren’t sending him in a spiral.

Perhaps all the times that you’d ogled at him quietly isn’t so bad, Jungkook thinks, knowing that this is how you are once you finally voice them out. You’re so enchanting like this, as the lust in your eyes is tinged with that love and adoration you have for him. It’s such a turn on, but it’s also turning him into mush.

He watches you as you suck his balls and then lick a strip up his member that’s now stiffened from your words. You take him in - slow and deep - before swirling your tongue around and he seriously could cry. You’re teasing him but giving so much at the same time; his mind and body don’t know what to do.

“But it’s all yours now, baby,” he drawls, tempted to break his rule and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “This body’s all yours and you can do whatever you want with it.”

You pop his cock out of your mouth and smile at him. “I will. That’s why I will admire it all I want.”

You stand up and look down at him, liking the anticipation in his eyes. You remove your bra and proceed to sit on his thigh, your slick sticking to his skin immediately.

“You can touch me a little with one hand,” you mumble, humming once you let him cup your cheek first.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” he moans, tracing your lower lip with his thumb before sliding it inside your mouth.

You suck on it while meeting his eyes, and he pulls it away before a moan escapes you, his wet finger now tracing circles on your pert nipple. His smooth hand with patches of callouses from his workouts caresses your bare body, fondling your breasts and pulling your face close for a kiss. It’s right after when you take his hand and place it on his side, signaling that his time for exploration is over.

You’re in control again, as you slowly grind against his taut thigh, perfect for the friction you badly need.

“You’re so beautiful, Kook,” you smile, combing your fingers through his curly locks. “I like your long hair,” you say. “You kinda look like a rockstar.”

He chuckles at your remark, a little thankful for the change in your tone. “So I’ve been told. That’s why grandfather asked me to cut it. I said I need something to pull when I’m stressed since work is driving me up a wall and they’re all pushing me too hard.”

“Hmm, still talking back to your elders, I see,” you laugh. “Nothing’s changed, Kook.”

“I’m a lot braver now because I’m with you,” he winks. “You’re kind of my shield, you know? You protect me from them so I can be honest. They gave me shit for my tattoos but they stopped once you got yours.”

You hum in satisfaction at the thought, knowing that you could do this for him.

“Guess I’ll have to comment during lunch with them that I love your long hair and your grandfather won’t ask you to get rid of it,” you giggle. “He quite adores me and trusts my taste.”

“Nothing’s changed, indeed,” he laughs, knowing that even from his side, they adore you wholeheartedly.

“I love hearing you laugh, hun,” you say, causing him to smile at your words. “You look so free and happy and so full of love.”

“And that’s because of you,” he responds, his voice low and serious and it does something to you again. “You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want in this life.”

You nod to let him know you feel the same, but it gets you going, with you wanting to keep on admiring him. And you do, kissing him tenderly with your arms around his neck as your fingers comb his hair. You continue to slide against him and his moans in between tell you how into it he is.

Your lips slide down to his jaw and then to his neck, alternating between its smooth expanse to the stunning canvass of his chest. It’s soft kisses turned to playful nibbles turned to desperate sucking, as you take all of him in and express your adoration with marks and bruises that will stay with him. You’re rarely able to do this because he’s always the one on you so you take your time, liking the rise and fall of his chest and the moans and curses he lets out and the way he tries to hold back any other movement from the one you’re directing him to do, which is nothing.

So you give him something, reaching out for his hand and guiding it to his cock that’s hard right now. “Touch yourself please,” you ask, your hand still on top of his as he strokes his member like you instructed.

“Keep going, okay? I just want to see you this way,” you whisper in his ear. “You’ll get to touch me soon.”

“Yes, baby,” he moans, cursing as you increase your pace of thrusting against his thigh.

You suck his neck, feeling his head bopping to his own movements and hearing the vibrations from his throat. You finally sit back up to watch him touch himself, the same movements from earlier driving you just as crazy. His parted mouth makes you want it on you, so you ask him to kiss your body, and he happily complies.

“Fuck, yes,” he grunts once his mouth is on your breast, aggressively licking and sucking just like you did on his neck. “You’re so hot, baby. I could suck your tits forever.”

“Hmm, I’d love that.”

Jungkook gets lost in the softness of your breasts. It’s perfectly shaped and feels so good in his mouth. He knows how to get you going, so he does all the licking and sucking and tricks he knows. It’s hard when he could bust any moment as he pleasures himself; it’s tough not being able to touch you, too, but he’d take this scenario any day. Hearing you instruct him what to do drives him wild, even more with your giddy and soft eyes looking back at him before it turns lustful.

Your moans are louder now; your thrusts are getting erratic, too. Jungkook wants to savor this but he also wants to reach his high with you. But you take his free hand first and direct it to your cunt, and his curses again at being able to feel exactly how wet you are.

His fingers find your throbbing clit right away. Bent a little back, you give him space to play with you, getting lost in it once again because even with limited movement, he knows just what to do.

Jungkook works his way on your cunt while he continues to stroke himself. It’s insanely pleasurable. It’s also getting hard and painful, and so it’s music to his ears when you say that you want him inside you.

He lets go of his cock for you to slide down on, and the relief of your velvet walls makes him shiver. It’s like being out in the cold and then being wrapped up in something warm; your pussy is all the comfort he needs.

But you’re still in control, he reminds himself, as you thrust on your own pace before you’re bouncing on top of him. Seeing your breasts bounce with you is disarming; you’re so sexy like this and he has to remind himself that you’re his wife and he’s truly able to be blessed by this sight everyday.

You collapse on his chest, flushed against him as you catch your breath. But you keep going, grinding against him slowly. He takes the opportunity to nibble your ear and you don’t complain, so he keeps going, sucking your neck until you’re moaning and bouncing on him again. You sit back up and turn to him, and he captures your breast in his mouth. That’s when you lose it, feeling an out-of-body experience where all your nerves are heightened and stimulated so you give in.

“Take control, baby,” you moan. “I want to come all over your cock and I want you to come inside me.”

You say it to challenge him, to get him going, and that’s what happens, as he growls and immediately lays you on the couch because even as he loves this view of you, there’s still nothing like seeing the pleasure on your face when he’s on top of you, pushing to the depths of your hole and hitting you where you want it.

Your hair creates a halo and you look absolutely stunning, ready and desperate for him, as you whisper that you love him, that you want to feel him inside of you.

Jungkook thrusts hard. He’s got your legs spread so he can hold your thighs up and you can touch yourself while he’s reaching that spot that only he can. You both watch as he slides in and out, and it’s messy and obscene and erratic and every bit as good as it can get. You’re screaming by this time, and when he feels your legs shake, he goes even harder.

He kisses you, wanting to swallow in your moans when you finally let go, and you do, after a deep thrust that sends you over the edge. But he continues, chasing his high as well. He gets there when you whisper in his ear, feeling as if his body’s on fire with your words.

“Come for me, baby. You’re so good to me,” you moan. “No one can make me feel good like this. You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want.”

He loses it every time you praise him like that and you know this, and that’s why you always say it at the end, when you want to bask in his essence just as he basks in yours.

You feel his warmth coating your walls, and just as you’re about to shiver from the sound of his end-of-sex moans in your ear, he turns to face you - damp hair and heaving chest - and his look softens, his small smile appearing before kissing you tenderly.

“I love you, so so much, baby,” he mumbles against your lips. “Every version, every day.”

You giddily smile at him again and wrap your arms around his neck to pepper his face with kisses. You pull him on top of you until he shifts to lay on your side, afraid to suffocate you after what was an intense period of lovemaking, which really started from when you’d asked him to take his clothes off.

“How was that?” You ask, turning to face him.

“Baby, did you see me?” He chuckles. “I was a mess.”

“Yeah, me too,” you laugh, nodding towards the droplets of cum you left on the coffee table. “I… I kinda let myself go earlier.”

“And it was so fucking sexy,” he praises. “But did you like it? Did you like being in control and teasing me like that?”

“I did,” you giggle. “You were pretty pliant, too. Not gonna lie, I was surprised. I thought you were gonna be whiny about it.”

“I was losing my shit,” he admits. “But I kinda made the rules and it was so hot hearing you tell me what to do. Or, well, ask. You’re still pretty polite about it.”

You laugh along with him but he assures you that he doesn’t mind it, and that he’s glad you don’t try to change just because you’re with him. The last thing he wants is for you to feel like you have to be adventurous or daring just to make him happy.

“I know I talk about my reckless and thrill-seeking past like it’s a badge of honor but it doesn’t mean that I’m not satisfied with our safer, more comfortable way of living,” he tells you. “I don’t yearn for anything more than what we do, okay? You literally turn me on with whatever you’re doing or wearing so don’t think I’d want you to be or do anything else, babe. I get to kiss you and make love to you all I want and that’s it… I’m a happy man.”

You scrunch your nose and giddily smile at his words, hiding your flushed face on his chest.

“And when you lose your shit like that because of me… it’s pretty special, too,” he adds, hugging you now.

You turn to face him and soften at how he fondly looks at you.

“You… ignite something in me, Kook,” you say. “Coming here after so long reminded me a bit of how it was back when I left. I was emotional because it hurt, and it was because I cared about you; I always did. Junghyun told me how distraught you were and I let myself believe that you cared about me, too. That’s what made me go back to you and try to make it work. And being back here… I just can’t believe how far we’ve come.”

You caress his face and he kisses your hand, the sparkles in his eyes making your heart race once more.

“You make me love so certainly and so passionately,” you add. “It’s thrilling, loving you like this. And we can argue or have issues or feel off with each other sometimes but if at the end of it, we can forgive ourselves and each other then it’s okay. We love hard and I know that’s how I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

It’s his turn to scrunch his nose now and smile, choosing to kiss you deeply as he pulls you in a hug instead of saying anything more. You’ve said it all, he thinks; he knows you know he feels the same.

But still, you ask. “Have I left you speechless now, Mr. Jeon?”

He laughs at your teasing. “I don’t know why you say you’re not good with words. I… I needed to hear them, babe. Being here and knowing where you spent your days while I was wallowing in guilt and misery at home hits me but doing all this now with you reminds me that we got through that. And we got through the past weeks, too.”

“Thank you for taking a short break to be with me here,” you say, kissing him.

“Baby, I wouldn’t pass up on any break from work,” he laughs. “But hyung assured me that I could. He knows I need to be with you after all that.”

You sigh in relief as you hug him, feeling the knots and bolts of his body melt away like yours are. Being together is like that for both of you, you think. Your love - in whatever form it’s expressed - is healing; it’s rejuvenating. It’s the kind you give so much of yourself to but feel like you’re becoming whole, complete, yet there’s still space for more.

You’re glad your parents made that deal with the universe to save you all those years ago. It made you live long enough to experience this.

A small smile forms on Jungkook’s face as he watches your soft, steady breathing. You seem to be in a deep sleep - a good one - he thinks, as the light from the sun coming from the glass doors doesn’t seem to be bothering you the way it usually does. He can’t blame you though. Last night was incredible. And pretty tiring, too, especially at the end when you let him take control, and he’d made love to you hard on the couch and then during your shower right after.

You were breathless by the time you were in bed, and you had to constantly assure him that he didn’t go too hard for the sex to be considered a ‘strenuous activity.’ You’re still required to take things easy, as your cardiologist had told you, and the last thing Jungkook wants is for you to overwork your heart just because he’d been too keen to fuck you. But seeing you enjoy yourself did things to him. So did seeing you be giddy, and then hearing you express your feelings.

It’s been a tough few weeks. He knew that during the times he was cold and distant towards you that he still felt so much love; it was just hard to express it because he was upset. He just had to process his negative emotions properly and ride them out. Once he’d cleared his head, there you were again, the only clarity he needed, and he was back to being the lovestruck man who’s head over heels in love with his wife. The best part was that you were the same, and being back in Busan and in this specific house is making him a little sentimental. And pretty horny, too.

Jungkook moves away from the bed and removes his shirt that’s absorbed all his sweat. He woke up early and went for a run down a nearby trail, savoring the cool morning breeze by the water and the natural sounds of the forest. It was gorgeous, and he thinks of going on a picnic with you tomorrow to see the sights.

He just got back to the house, expecting you to be awake, but the sight of you sleeping peacefully is still something nice to return to. Wanting to take advantage of the tranquility of this place, he decides to do some painting.

You showed him your corner yesterday. It’s complete with an easel and a stool that faces the view. There’s a bench with paint and brushes that you’ve left and you brought. You told him he could use them if he wanted.

The lake sparks creativity, you said, and he feels that now. The sun casts a glow over it that he wants to capture in brush strokes, and he wants to create something to remind him of this particular day and this specific moment, where he stands by the kitchen counter in a space you’ve both come to claim as your slice of heaven. Moans were bouncing off the walls last night but right now, it’s quiet. And whether you’re naked and bouncing on top of him, or naked under the covers as you take your needed rest, he knows you’re all he needs and wants, and he’ll never get tired of telling or showing you all that.

Choosing the colors he’ll be using, Jungkook starts to work. He stays true to the view before him, blending the blues and yellows and greens that he sees and laying them all out on the canvas. He wants to surprise you, show you he’s learned some tricks that he’s seen you do; he can already imagine your proud face and that gets him excited.

It’s almost an hour later when he hears shuffling inside the house followed by your call of his name.

“I’m outside, babe,” he yells. “I prepared the coffee in the pot, just press the button.”

You shout out your thanks and he gets back to work, immersed in the almost-finished product when your voice takes him out of his zone.

“That’s gorgeous, Kook,” you hum. “Way better than the one you did the last time.”

“Hey,” he laughs, tickling you.

He turns to you and his face softens. You’re standing next to him with mussed hair dressed in his white button-up polo from last night. He’d left it on the stool by your bed and you probably decided to wear it when you got up because you know he loves seeing you wear his clothes.

“Am I making your heart flutter, Mr. Jeon?” You tease, seeing his soft, dimpled smile.

He hasn’t said anything for the past 10 seconds and you think maybe it’s your chosen morning outfit.

“You know the answer to that,” he replies, pulling you by the waist and directing you to sit on his lap. “It was supposed to be a surprise,” he says of the painting. “But since you’ve seen it, what do you think?”

“It’s very Bob Ross-esque,” you compliment him. “And it’s really good, hun. The day’s pretty nice, huh? I’d paint this scenery, too, if I wasn’t so tired.”

“You’re welcome,” he smirks. “But I went for a run and everything was just so pretty. You were still sleeping when I got back so I thought to try painting while waiting for you to wake up.”

“Well, it’s good I was still asleep then,” you smile. “The piece is great. You’ve got a good teacher, I’d say.”

“She is. She’s pretty hot, too, so it’s hard to focus sometimes.”

“You’re so cheeky,” you playfully roll your eyes before kissing cheek and standing up to get your coffee.

You choose to lean on the railing when you return, soaking up the midday sun and relishing the calmness of the lake. It’s so peaceful out here, making you appreciate your house’s soundproof walls because you definitely were not quiet last night. Other than the loud thrumming of your heart at how much you were lusting over your husband touching himself and coming undone in front of you, you also know that your joint moans were pretty obscene.

You didn’t shy away from letting him know how you were affecting him, especially when he’d pounded into you so purposefully that you felt him so deep within you. Even the bathroom sex was mind-blowing. So was the loving way he’d kissed you until you both fell asleep, and the thought of all the ways that Jungkook makes love to you sends a shiver down your spine.

You shake a little bit and turn around, surprise laced on your face as you see your husband looking at you from his stool, legs spread with a smirk on his face in all his shirtless glory.

“How long have you been ogling me?” You arch an eyebrow.

“As soon as you came out,” he smiles. “You look stunning, babe. The lake’s pretty lucky it gets to be your background.”

You chuckle at his cheesiness and sip your coffee. “Finish your work now and then we can get ready to head out. We can have early lunch at the seafood place our families used to go to.”

With you by the railings looking breathtaking against the view, it’s a nice scene that Jungkook wants to capture. “I wanna try to draw you,” he states, taking one of your sketch pads and placing it on the easel now.

“Oh yeah?” you ask. “I should pose then.”

He turns to you just as you start unbuttoning your top, leaving your tattoo and black satin underwear exposed. You see him visibly swallow and you push it, adjusting his polo to reveal more of your skin.

“This okay, hun?”

“I–, uh… hmm,” he furrows his brows, his eyes flitting from you to the pad.

Jungkook decides he’s not good enough to capture you in drawing, and he’s definitely not patient enough to wait to finish it before he can kiss you because the way you’re teasing him is a little too much. He has to have you right now.

Retrieving the polaroid camera from inside the house, he walks back out and snaps a shot. “I won’t do you justice, babe,” he explains. “And you look too fucking sexy to pass up on.”

He takes another one and then places them on the coffee table next to him. He walks to you and immediately captures you in a deep kiss, his hand gripping your waist the same way yours grips his chest.

“So that worked, huh?” You giggle. “I was wondering when you were gonna just walk over here and claim me.”

“You could’ve just said you wanted me, too,” he laughs. “You know I like hearing that.”

“You also like it when I tease you,” you counter. “And, well… here I am.”

You bite your lip and pull the polo just enough to expose your shoulder, and Jungkook basically growls at the act, putting away your coffee then kissing you once again.

You moan against his mouth once his hand slides inside to fondle your breast, and the sensation from his touch sends you in a daze. You let him suck your neck only for a while, nudging him to turn to you so you could get a look at him.

“Baby,” he whines, wanting to have continued to map out your body in this open space.

“I just…” you trail, your eyes scanning his half-naked form, his cream-colored joggers low enough again to show the band of his boxers.

You trace your fingers down his torso, following the lines and ridges that you know he works hard on. His breathing quickens, even more so when you slowly slide your hand in, immediately stroking his semi-hard cock.

“Fuck,” he groans, his head leaning back at the pleasure he feels, your soft skin soothing yet electrifying him at the same time.

But you shouldn’t be the only one, he thinks, as his hand sneaks inside your underwear now, his fingers finding your throbbing clit amidst all the wetness.

“Mhmm,” you hum, your mouth parting as you suck in a breath.

Jungkook wants to bask in your look as you pleasure each other, but he also really wants to kiss you, so he pulls you close, angling your head with his other hand and takes you in. It’s all tongue and teeth, as you both seem desperate for the other, and that’s what prompts him to start walking back and taking you with him, needing to taste you this second because he can feel just how wet you are for him.

He guides you towards the desk near your bed, lifting you a little so you could sit on it, causing you to let go of his dick and you whine in response. You’re not able to say anything more, as he slides two fingers inside your hole at the same time that he sucks your nipple.

“Kook, oh my good,” you keen, feeling your slick spread as he pumps into you.

He doesn’t say anything. He just continues with his movements as you heave in pleasure, grinding reflexively as you seek more friction than just his fingers.

“Do you want more, baby?” He asks, looking at you now.

“Yes,” you whisper, your mouth parting once he presses your clit. “Want your mouth. Oh god, baby, I want your mouth.”

He slows down his movements before retrieving his hand from your damp underwear, showing you his fingers drenched in your slick. He licks them off you as he holds your gaze, and you take his hand off his mouth so you could suck them, too.

You moan as you do, suddenly wanting his dick as well. He crouches down before you get to say anything, pulling off your underwear to see you dripping wet, your essence forming a dot on the desk this time. You’d be embarrassed if he didn’t look so turned on by it, and you completely lose it once he licks a strip up your pussy and swirls his tongue around it.

You lose all sense by then, allowing yourself to just let go because with how he’s gripping you and sucking you dry, you know you won’t be able to control how your body will react anyway.

He sets a rhythm, pulling your hips to meet his mouth and you follow the pace, grinding against him as your body burns with so much pleasure. Your ass sits by the edge and your legs are hanging on air, but you know he’s got you. It isn’t like this is the first time, yet every time feels like it is. Jungkook does you so well, you’ve stopped questioning his ability at this point.

Your legs start to shake and his hands glide to hold up your thighs while your arms support you. It’s uncontrollable by now and you don’t mind the moans that escape you. He’d just fucked you senseless last night but that already feels too far away. You know it's still gonna be another good one this time.

“I’m coming, Kook. Agh–” you shriek, feeling it so suddenly, until you’ve reached the edge and feel even wetter, as your orgasm hits and it feels like a waterfall.

Your husband hums from in between your legs, taking all that he can, even as your legs continue to shake. He kisses your inner thigh before kissing up your torso, meeting your dazed look with his satisfied smile.

“Can you go again, baby?” He smirks, taking off his joggers and boxer briefs in one movement to reveal his cock that’s definitely ready for you.

You want to trace the veins with your tongue, lick the pre-cum off it, and swallow it until you can’t breathe, but his hand gets to it first, with him knowing now how touching himself turns you on. He strokes himself a little, and the version of you that touches herself when he does is back, as you instantly fiddle with your clit to address the aching need at the sight of him like this.

Holding the base of his member, he pushes slowly into you, joining your moan at the feel of him within your velvet walls.

“Baby, you feel so good,” he grunts, as he meets your thrusts. “So, so fucking good, my dick could live here.”

“I want it to,” you manage a response. “Kook, baby, you’re so big. Go deeper, please. I can take it.”

Jungkook follows, moving closer and pushing harder as you ask, feeling your edge as he drags his cock against your walls. You’re moaning in his mouth, lips no longer moving as you feel lost in all that he’s doing to you.

“You like that so much, don’t you?” He moans. “Like how deep I go? How much I stretch you out?”

“Yes, baby,” you huff, unable to form words now. But you try, knowing he likes hearing you like this.

You’re flicking your nipple while he’s massaging your clit, and with all the movements, you feel it again. You try to hold out, wanting to savor this feeling a little longer, but Jungkook’s erratic movements tell you that he’s just about to reach his peak, too, so you let yourself go again, waiting for the crash and hoping he’d get to do it with you.

His body shakes now, you feel it, as yours does the same. And it’s not long after when you feel the shiver all over you, and then he comes, too with a release of a deep breath that gives you goosebumps.

He pulls out, and seeing his cum slide out of you, he pushes back in, making you yelp in surprise.

“We made a mess,” he chuckles, his voice low and hoarse from all the moaning he’s done.

“Hmm, we did,” you huff, seeing him swirl his dick with your joint essence on your pussy.

He’s done this before. But seeing it from this angle, with the sun shining from your glass wall - it’s incredibly sexy. You laugh to yourself. It’s not even lunchtime.

“Honey, I’m tired,” you laugh now.

Jungkook kisses you tenderly and you smile against his lips. “Okay then. We shower and then we take a nap. Food can wait.”

You stare at the plates of food that you and Jungkook had devoured. A lunch for 4, you think, and you blame the late morning nap you took that’s caused you to have your first meal at 1PM. You don’t mind though, as the dishes were much more delicious with how hungry you were, and Jungkook seems the same, as he satisfyingly smiles at you.

“Ah, that was good,” he hums. “Nothing like our favorite seafood restaurant.”

“I know, right? I remember how our grandparents would always reserve the function room for our families,” you say. “You boys were always so rowdy, running around the place.”

“Food energizes us,” Jungkook shrugs. “And yeah, I remember. Seoyeon would scold us for being noisy.”

“And I was always just there, sitting and laughing at the silly faces you were making when the adults finally told you off.”

“You really had a crush on me, huh?” He smirks, pulling you closer to his side so he could have a better look at you.

“Yes, and you really never noticed,” you counter, laughing at his pout. “Would it have made any difference if you knew that weak little me adored you and your bowl-cut?”

“I really don’t understand how you found that cute,” he laughs. “That’s my most embarrassing look ever.”

“What? It was adorable!” You giggle, pinching his chin. “You were always so mischievous but the haircut made you look tiny and pure for some reason. Plus, you had this smile. It was always very sweet.”

He sighs at the thought, imagining a prepubescent Jungkook causing trouble with you still thinking he was pretty special. “I don’t remember as much about you. I hate it.”

“Kook, we have so many photos and home videos,” you comfort him. “We can always go through them and try to remember. I think that’ll be fun, don’t you think?”

It would, he smiles to himself. Days and nights of being curled up on the couch, watching your younger selves and thinking of how neither of you would’ve imagined getting married and being this in love. Your future kids would ask how you two met and you could both show them those videos. He’d proudly say how you were crushing on him early on and you’d tease that he never really minded you. It’s all fun, though, and he can picture your future kids enjoying it, too, perhaps thinking it could be them on screen. He’s suddenly excited to find out who they’d take after.

“Honey? You okay?”

“Yeah, I just zoned out a bit but of course, that would be fun. We can make fun of each other while watching.”

You smile at the thought, knowing that reminiscing those days would be a shock to him. You wonder how much of your adoration for him was caught on camera, but even you are curious. Your siblings and Junghyun would tell you stories as you got older, and there were things that you’d either forgotten or didn’t know.

Sometimes you think you downplayed just how big of a crush you had on Jungkook when you were younger because it was unrequited - a silly thought now, given how he is with you. He used to not look your way but now, it seems as if he can’t take his eyes off you the way you can’t take your eyes off of him.

You both exit the restaurant and drive to your middle school. You introduce yourselves and are immediately allowed in. Classes have just ended so it’s a little busy with the students leaving, but the shrieks remind you of how things were during your time, and how different you and Jungkook remember your pre-teen days to be.

The difference is much more glaring once you’re in your high school not far away, especially as you look around the library that’s changed a lot over the years. But you remember your spot at the corner, where you and Yeri would study while Nari drew dresses and Minhyuk read comics.

“You know, I’ve probably only ever been here thrice,” Jungkook laughs, the place an unfamiliar spot for him. It’s also so quiet; it’s unnerving and probably why he never really came here.

“I’m not surprised,” you laugh. “But then again, I’ve only ever stepped foot on the field twice.”

“What? Did you not have PE class?”

“I did,” you say. “My parents had me spared from the physical stuff, so I just read up on sports and other things for my grade.”

“That’s so sad, babe,” he laments. “PE was like, the best. It was the only subject I liked.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” you exclaim. “But yeah, I got used to it. It’s different learning a sport by reading it but it was okay, I guess. My teacher would let me watch classes and varsity games sometimes.”

“Let me guess, you were watching me?” He smirks.

“Not always,” you playfully roll your eyes. “You weren’t the only good-looking guy in school, you know?”

“What! Who else was?”

“Secret,” you tease, sticking your tongue out and walking down the hallway.

You pass by the auditorium, another place you spent a lot of time in. Minhyuk used to play the violin and you’d watch his rehearsals with their music group here.

“Okay, tell me you’ve been here at least once to watch a club performance or something,” you say, turning to him.

“Uh, no?” He laughs. “All I remember from this is that we had an important game against a rival school on the field and all your friends were there except for you. Hyung watched it and I overheard him ask them where you were and Yeri said you were at the auditorium because there was some flute recital or something.” He rolls his eyes. “Why would that be more interesting than my soccer game?”

You laugh at his bitter expression. “You wouldn’t have cared, hun. And I’m pretty sure she said saxophone. That was Jaehyun’s instrument.”

“Who’s that? Why doesn’t he sound familiar?”

“Because he was a year older,” you respond as you walk past the seats. “He, uh, he invited me, said I was probably gonna watch the game but it didn’t hurt to try, and he was surprised that I said I’d watch him.”

“Were you… a thing?” He furrows his brows.

“Why would that matter,” you ask. “You were the one dating the class President and the gymnast and a lot of other girls.”

“Yeah but I never took them seriously,” he defends. “We just… you know.”

“Oh, I know,” you chuckle. “Talks of how good of a kisser you were and uh, other stuff spread like wildfire, Kook. It wasn’t exactly a secret.”

You're right, it really wasn’t. He was the rich popular jock that girls flocked to and he loved the attention, and that continued until university. But like he always said, it was all fun for him.

You… you were never the type to date for fun, so he knows that any guy you were with could’ve been the one, and yes, even Won-shik. Or Jongin. Maybe this Jaehyun dude.

It could’ve been Mingyu.

“So you and the guy, were you…?” He asks again.

“He courted me,” you say. “But I wasn’t sure about having a boyfriend at that time and he said he’d wait but I told him not to. We drifted once he graduated and that was it.”

“Okay.”

“Does that matter?” You wonder.

“Sometimes I think there could’ve been a version of this life where we weren’t married,” he starts. “Like, you could’ve been with someone else you loved and I probably would’ve been arranged with some other person but you and I would still see each other regularly because of our families and like… that’s just… a hard thought to have. If it wasn’t me with you right now.”

“Yes, Kook, it’s a hard thought but also impossible because I’m with someone I love and you’re with me right now,” you tell him. “And this is the only version of life I’ll have. Also, I think I have a pretty special connection with the universe so sometimes I think they were truly on my side. They kept me alive and well, they made me marry you, the man who never really took anyone seriously and now look at you!”

“Yeah, look at me, head over heels in love with the woman he was bitter about and barely minded,” he laughs dryly. “But I think they were on my side, too.”

You smile at the thought, knowing that Jungkook may not really be able to let go of the guilt from years ago but he could at least look at things this way - at the end of it, you get to be together happily, making new memories in the places you’ve known all your lives, and out to make even more.

You continue your walk around the school. You pass by the faculty to greet your teachers from over 10 years ago, who fawn over both of you. They say how surprised they were that you’d ended up together, but don’t doubt that now seeing how happy you both look.

Walking down the hallway, you gush over the shelf with championship trophies that Jungkoook had won with the soccer team. And then finally, you sit on the bleachers that overlook the soccer field, Jungkook’s stage during your years in school.

“It does look pretty with the sun casting a shadow over it,” you hum, seeing that it’s late in the afternoon. “I can see why you loved being here, Kook. And seeing you play now, you truly belong on the field.”

“Those years were fun,” he reminisces. “I loved the adrenaline rush, the thrill, the cheers… I loved the attention, really. It made me feel free. I think I kept chasing that high outside of it. And it got me into a lot of trouble.”

“Well, all that trouble landed you right here with me,” you comfort him. “I think it’s not all that bad.”

“Not at all,” he agrees. “But I still experience all that, you know? The thrill, the cheers, the attention… I married someone who gives all those to me. My younger years can’t really compare.”

Your cheeks reach your eyes as you giddily smile. “My heart is fluttering, Mr. Jeon,” you giggle. “Too bad we’re in school so I can’t kiss you right now.”

“Actually, I know a spot…”

“Kook!” You squeal, not wanting to know where he’d made out with the girls back then, but he laughs along to tease and says that you both could always drive back home and do all the kissing you want.

Tempting, you think, but all the walking has made you hungry and he promised you’d have milmyeon for dinner and then pass by the kiosk where Mrs. Na always bought you your favorite hotteok.

You do all that, and just like what Jungkook said, you go back home and do all the kissing you want.

The kissing obviously escalated to so much more. Jungkook let you ride his face and you let him fuck your mouth. The lake house is so conducive to lovemaking, you told him as you started to doze off, and he assured you that all this wouldn’t end here. There’s lots to make up for, but also, making up with you makes him feel like a new man and a better lover, and he wants to be able to show you all that.

He doesn’t mess around though, as you wake up the next morning flushed against his firm chest that you can’t help but kiss all over, and to get you going for morning sex by the lake, he wildly eats you out then takes you from behind while you look at the view outside.

You at least eat your breakfast that you had made on the veranda and then have enough energy to walk down the trail by the lake to see the forest and the birds. Jungkook lays down a mat and you both enjoy fruits and desserts before heading out for a late lunch of pork rice soup that you’ve dearly missed.

You drive around your part of the city, passing by spots and beaches you used to frequent, and it’s as if you could hear the shrieks and laughter from your younger days, sounds you joined in on every once in a while. But much of it was Jungkook’s, and you smile at the thought; he was already making your heart flutter then, and you don’t think that’s ever gonna stop.

He stops by a familiar park, and it takes a while before it registers that this is the playground that both of you used to go to a lot. It’s the midway point of your grandparents’ estates so all you Jeon and Kim kids would play here before heading to either of those places.

It’s also where he asked you to play when you were 4 years old. And where you told him no.

“Are we here to reenact that moment I broke your heart?” You tease, walking next to him as you bask in the sight of your childhood. You may not have played in the playground but you did have your dolls with you.

“Sort of,” he chuckles. “With a good ending this time though. I kind of wanna have both memories ingrained in my mind so they could remind me of how far we’ve come.”

“Sounds good,” you smile, sitting on the bench that you think is the one you would always sit on.

It’s been over 20 years and a lot about it has changed, but you suppose it’s a good guess.

“It’s amazing the memories that we retain, isn’t it?” You wonder out loud. “I remember that day, too. We were just 4 years old, and, well, it’s one of the few that I remember.”

“I know, right? I don’t remember much from that age apart from that moment, actually,” he says. “It stuck with me, maybe because it really affected me. Who knows? Maybe I was crushing on you before that so I chose to forget everything else after you rejected me,” he laughs. “Selective memory and shit.”

“Could be,” you laugh along. “But can you imagine how it must’ve been like for our families seeing us grow up and grow apart? It must’ve sucked.”

“I’m sure it did,” he hums, knowing how much your families wanted this union. “Perhaps the universe was on their side, too.”

You smile at the thought. Coming back to the places with traces of Jungkook as the kid you admired from a short distance makes you sentimental because he’s right, there could’ve been another version of life where you didn’t end up together. Who knows if your fondness for him would’ve faded if you’d married someone else? But you’d still see each other regardless, and the feeling could be haunting you.

You wonder if you weren’t sick, or was just careless enough to have played with him even if you weren’t allowed to - how different would your friendship have been like growing up? Would you be closer? Would he have been as reckless or less of the playboy he was? Would you have been more daring just to keep up with him? Would you have both tried to date? What if it didn’t work out, being as you were both still young then?

But as you look up at Jungkook who’s now standing before you, his hand in his pocket before he reaches it out the way he did over 20 years ago, you think that maybe all those had to happen so you could have this.

Maybe the distance meant that you’d both grow and make mistakes individually. Maybe having different sets of friends and hobbies meant you’d both appreciate yourselves for who you are so you could appreciate the other just as much. Maybe his colorful relationship record and your neutral one meant being able to balance excitement and security. Maybe all the heartbreaks along the way meant you’d learn how to ride through them so you could love each other even more.

Because as you take his hand and stand up to meet him for a kiss, you don’t think you could ever love him more than you do right now. You feel it all over your body that you think it’s all it knows to do at this point.

“Four-year old Jungkook is probably bursting at the seams right now,” he hums as he kisses you again, his arms around your waist and his forehead against yours.

“And four-year old me is probably doing the same,” you smile. “But this 29-year old version of me is so content right now, Kook. She can’t get any happier.”

She can, are the words that echo in Jungkook’s mind. Being here makes him realize how else you - both of you - can be happier. But he keeps the thought to himself and chooses to agree with you for now.

“That’s great, babe. This version of me feels the same.”

The stack of Polaroid photos from the past 3 days has gotten taller. There’s so much from the beach, your grandparents’ house, your schools, the trail, and of course, the playground. Jungkook holds up the ones from earlier where you’re sitting on the swing and the one where you both attempted to slide together but got stuck.

Your smiles are as wide as they could get, and seeing them now tugs at his heart. You seem like you can’t get any happier, but he also knows there’s something more that you wish for.

And it isn’t just about giving it to you; he wants to make it with you, because seeing you skip around earlier and play in the seesaw with him and laugh your sweet, tender laugh - he knows that there are so many more ways he can show you he loves you, and the sight of you happy and free and content is something he wants to see everyday of his life.

“What you looking at, hun?” You ask, as you wrap your arms around his crouched form on the edge of the bed, your chin sliding in the crook of his neck and peeking at what he’s holding.

“All our photos,” he says. “We ended up taking so many.”

“Hmm, more to put in our photo album then,” you hum, kissing his cheek before kissing his shoulder, and then his back, given that he’s too sexy not to have your lips mapping them out.

You make it to the line down his back, kissing his tailbone before lying in bed. “I’m tired,” you yawn. “Let’s sleep, hun. We have a day of travel tomorrow.”

Jungkook keeps the photos in a pouch and turns off the light before he lays next to you, his arm stretching out so you have space to rest your head on his chest.

You make yourself comfortable right away, close to drifting to sleep with his post-shower natural scent and his smooth skin.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“I was just thinking…” he starts. “We kinda went down memory lane, you know? And sorted things out like we said we would. We got through a fight that had us loving each other even more and I feel like I’ve learned and matured after all that and I… I think I’m ready.”

He turns to you, wanting to see your face, and your curious eyes meet his certain ones.

“I want to have a family with you,” he says. “And I mean, really want it, like, I want us to seriously try now.”

“Kook…” you mumble, a little surprised but beaming with joy just the same.

“I’ll admit at the start, a part of me just wanted to get ahead with it because I knew it would make you happy and that would make me happy,” he admits. “But now, I just… I want that for us because we love each other so fucking much and I don’t know how else we could show or express it. And that’s nice, isn’t it? It’s overflowing and the only other person who should receive that love other than you or me is someone we both created.”

You’re frozen, constantly blinking at him in disbelief until he nudges your nose with his.

“Hey, say something,” he whispers.

“I… ” you quiver. “I’m… Kook, that’s amazing. You… We… we’re ready. We have so much to give and we, I…”

A tear falls down your cheek.

You and Jungkook had agreed to let life just happen. You make love all the time anyway and it used to comfort you that there could at least be a chance you’d get pregnant with the frequency you do it. But conceiving a baby isn’t that easy. You may have sex a lot but it doesn’t mean you always do it at the right time. Both your stress levels have been quite high, too, and that’s been a factor on why it hasn’t happened yet.

There were a few times when you thought your period being late meant you could be pregnant, only to have it happen right before you told Jungkook. You won’t deny it disappointed you a little.

But now, with him saying he wants to actively try, it’s making you excited and nervous but incredibly happy. You’ve wanted this for a while, and you realize now with what you and Jungkook could handle and take on together, you want it even more. And he’s right there with you.

“Oh, baby,” he says, caressing your cheek. “I’m… I’m sorry it took a while for me. Wanting to let life surprise us feels like a cop out now.”

“Don’t be sorry, hun,” you sniff, sighing into his touch. “What matters now is that we both want this. And we’re… we’re really gonna try.”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “We can go see your doctors tomorrow or the day after to consult. Whatever they say, we’ll follow. If we have to have even more sex, then that’s great.”

You laugh at his words. “I think we have enough of it.”

“We never know.”

You kiss him. Deeply. You kiss him so hard, it’s the only way to express how happy you are because words fail you. You kiss him so long that you climb on top of him, wanting to feel him wrap himself around you, touch you, cradle you, show you how much he loves you.

“Oh, so we’re starting now?” He teases once you pull away.

You just hover over him, your eyes boring into his sparkling ones, and you giggle as you boop his nose.

“I’m actually not ovulating but it doesn’t matter,” you say, pressing your clothed pussy against his cock. “I just… I just want to feel you right now. Your wanting to have a family is such a turn on, I’m scaring myself.”

He smirks at your honesty but he loves it. Your being turned on by it is also turning him on.

But he lets you do what you want first, as you kiss down his torso then pull down his boxer briefs to lick his hardening cock before you take him all in.

“I thought you were tired, babe,” he huffs, feeling the tension build as you take him so desperately, his thighs straining from the pleasure.

“Not anymore,” you say, gagging with how big he is. You turn to look at him with his cock in your hand now, meeting the smirk he has on his face. “I think I can do this all night.”

“Fuck, baby,” he grunts. “You gotta play fair. I need my time to do you, too.”

Waking up the next morning feels different. With Jungkook flushed against your back and his arm around your middle, you think that hopefully in a few months, he’d be lovingly caressing you there when there’s a tiny human growing inside you.

It’s a nice thought, but one you can wait for a while to happen. Although last night’s sex was pretty intense, you’re not fertile and there wouldn’t be any surprises soon, but it was still really good. Your emotions had overtaken you and you went with what your heart and body were saying, and you’re now left with sore limbs. But you don’t mind. You’re satisfied beyond belief. And while this may be your last day of your time here, you’ll be going back to your normal life with much more excitement this time. And you know your husband feels the same.

He wakes up shortly after, and you both pass up on breakfast to just sleep in and cuddle, knowing there’ll be less of this again, so you savor being naked in each other's arms, giggling and kissing.

You finally make it out of bed and pack up, ready to head to his grandparents’ as you both promised. It goes by smoothly, with them fawning over you as always, and you and Jungkook spend some time right after going around the estate and recalling memories again.

He takes you to his room, which is where he stayed when he was much younger. It’s still a little boy’s bedroom with all the toys organized and the clothes stored neatly. He opens his closet and takes a chest from the floor, unlocking it to reveal sets of baby clothes in mint condition.

There’s a swaddling cloth and a blanket, a crocheted bunny and a baby giraffe. There are onesies and beanies and tiny shoes and mittens.

Jungkook touches them lightly, excitedly thinking about your future baby wearing them.

“I have a chest like this, too,” you say, smiling up at him. “It’s at my grandparents’. Do you think we could pass by for it? I think it would be nice to have our tiny one wear our clothes, don’t you think?”

“It would be,” he smiles.

You both casually tell your grandparents that you wanted to bring the chests back with you to Seoul “just in case” because you’re sentimental, not wanting to make too big of a deal out of deciding to finally and seriously try getting pregnant this time. You don’t miss their glassy eyes and proud faces, though, and you think of the joy they must be feeling. You hope all goes well and that they’d get to spend as much time with their future grandchildren as possible. It was their dream, after all, and you know it means just as much to them.

With your treasure troves in the trunk and your hand in Jungkook’s, you both drive away, hoping that not too long from now, a little one will be joining you in your weekend getaways and short breaks and vacations. You could only hope they’ll love you with all their heart as much as you know you’ll love them with all of yours.

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silverskye13 · 1 year

Text

Being the universe's smartest super computer still made for a derpy, non-functional person. It was really easy for people to get caught up in the Cool Sci-Fi Shenanigans of cyborgs and robots and forget how awesome and powerful organic, sentient life was.

For example: Xisuma has a perfect memory. If someone gave him a date and a time, he could scan back through his memory logs, replay recorded data and footage, and tell you the exact recipe he used for those vegan cookies that one time six years ago. He knows the ambient temperature of a froglight that's been submerged underwater for six hours, three minutes and twenty-nine seconds. He can rewind a recorded memory, pause the time lapse, and watch in slow motion as Grian breaks a stone block at spawn with his bare hands because he was bored during their intro-season speech.

However, recorded data takes up a massive amount of memory on a standard hard drive when you record everything you see as a passive function, and all of it has to be purged by hand, regularly, just so Xisuma can maintain the memory needed for daily functions. He's tried writing algorithms to do it for him, but even the best pattern recognition software can't account for his momentary preferences. What differentiates his favorite sunrise from any other? If he were human, he could program some kind of learning software using data from tables tied to the output of different brain chemicals and electrical pulses that most frequently line up with a formative memory -- but if he were human he wouldn't be making a program like that in the first place, now would he?

It's one of those long, long days of trawling through recorded data. It would be shorter if he would just parse through the most recent memories, but he likes keeping long-term memory storage at exactly thirty percent of his total data storage, and he's been resting at thirty-four percent for the past month. Putting off the inevitable. It's just, there's been a lot of stuff to remember the past few weeks, and it's hard to choose what to get rid of sometimes. He's started deep-diving through old data, walking down memory lane. He has to be careful, some of this data is important, tied intricately with the complex spider algorithm that forms his memory data access system.

Click! Click! Click!

"What are you thinking, X?"

The screen that makes up the lion's share of X's face organizes itself into a smile, lights flickering on in the nanoseconds it takes him to process the memory he's watching and attribute happiness to it. Yes, this is a good one.

The playback jolts as he looks down at Tango. Not pictured is a redstone project they are picking away at. Xisuma knows this because this particular memory has a transcript, full of branching tags and keywords that pull up a wealth of information alongside it.

That's another thing about memory that organic life never appreciates. Memory isn't just the memory itself. It's a web of associations built on prior, learned knowledge. A tree isn't just a tree. It's color and texture and symbol and "when was the first time I drew a tree?" and "apples" and "saplings" and a thousand other tiny associations they just arbitrarily have. Xisuma has to synthesize that web. A memory doesn't exist in a vacuum. Unlike the organic mind, however, Xisuma can pull up as much accurate information as he has the processing power for. This memory brings him two more closely associated recordings, associated memories he's kept for context, the transcripts of six more deleted memories, the definition of redstone, a playback of isolated sound he deemed important.

The playback continues.

Click! Click! Click!

"What are you thinking, X?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Tango, I didn't know you'd walked up! I was doing research."

"Yeah? What kind?"

"Oh well, you know the new update. Redstone's always a little finicky after."

"Right, yeah, totally. I've been putting mine off, honestly. I don't feel like fixing broken stuff right now -- oh but, I guess you can't wait, huh?"

Xisuma parses through the data brought up with the memory. He knows the date this was recorded, the recent change to redstone mechanics brought on by the server update. He'd had three farms break. There was a linked document to a transcript of Doc's rant on redstone as it relates to radiation. There was a script note document typed the day after this recording was created: Clicking Good. There was a preliminary version of what he'd nicknamed "The Tick Script.Exe".

"Yeah, I've got a lot of bugs to fix."

"Are you going to get rid of the clicking?"

"Clicking?"

The clicking was an ambient noise made when Xisuma's system was a bit bulkier, his algorithms and scripts that handled memory and data access crude and unperfected. It caused a disc in a driver somewhere to click when he did searches. At the time, the clicking had been the closest thing to an annoying habit Xisuma could manage.

Computers don't have habits. Habits are repetitive motions that become subliminal, that take effort to break, and are oftentimes formed subconsciously. Xisuma doesn't have a discernable difference between conscious thought and subconscious. He has background processes, he has backburnered data, and he has executive commands.

Xisuma queries the memory, pulling up related tags and searches, letting the algorithm reach. This memory had been the start of a, for lack of a better term, humanification process for him. There was his observation table on organic ticks, habits, and movements. It had taken a lot of uncomfortable staring, but back then, staring was all he'd known how to do. One of the first entries on the table was blinking. Organic things blinked, clearing away dust and debris from lenses and membranes. Xisuma didn't have eyes, didn't blink. But the screen that managed his facial expression animations could be programmed to blink.

Xisuma queries blinking. He pulls up a transcript of an interaction with Stressmonster, where she mentioned he blinked every thirty seconds. She knew this because when she first noticed him blinking, she'd noticed it's regularity. That was when Xisuma learned that, to convincingly blink, time variation was necessary.

Coding randomization into redstone circuitry had always been difficult.

Xisuma returns to the Tango memory recording, replays the question about the clicking, the unintentional habit. Xisuma still clicked when he thought. The others probably still thought it had to do with bulky drivers. In reality, it had been a test in trial and error.

How many clicks was acceptable for a thinking pattern? The three dot ellipses was common in writing, and a two dot pattern was too reminiscent of a heartbeat. When he'd temporarily switched to a four dot pattern, he'd noticed people getting impatient, or worrying if his mechanics were stalling. (Stalling and slow loading does sometimes happen, but it manifests in freezes and long pauses, not in repeating clicks). He invented a three click pattern, tested a variety of click sounds, settled on something similar to a rotary phone click when a number is dialed. It was a good sound. Heavy and sharp. It sounded like something falling into place with intention. Click! Click! Click!

Xisuma doesn't actually need a sound to think. But it's a clever replacement for harder to code things, like remembering to two a surface or fidget.

Click! Click! Click!

Shifting weight had been a harder thing to code. Standing stationary, legs an equal width apart, was the most steady way to stand. It also made him look like a statue, made his unblinking stares eerie and uncomfortable. Organic things read it as unnatural, borderline on predatory. Large predators often froze and stared right before pouncing.

Looking back through old memories, Xisuma could tell if they were from before or after his algorithmic programming because of how still they were. Made for clearer visuals, and he knows in high-stress situations that focus on accuracy, he can cycle them off, but they're comfortable for people to watch.

Xisuma rocks back on his heels away from the screen he's watching. If someone else were in the room, it would be a sign of thoughtfulness. For him, it's the execution from a random table of acceptable fidgets while standing still. He should turn it off. He's alone right now. But sometimes the movements still catch him off-guard and the longer they run, the more he gets used to them.

Xisuma queries: rocking on heals

He gets a handful of save recording bits. Doc rocks onto his back legs and stretches his forelegs. Gem rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet, her arms crossed behind her back, mischievous and excited. Scar rocks back on his heels and crosses his arms, thoughtfully examining some terraforming. Xisuma isolates the last recording and mimics it, feeling how the weight of his crossed arms counterbalances the lean back.

Xisuma queries his habits table and adds the motion to the list.

He never quite figured out how to program what to do with his hands. They spent a lot of time at his sides, or in pockets. Objectively he knew that was bad. Hiding the hands was often a sign of hiding something, and he liked being transparent.

Xisuma queries: Hands

Xisuma blinks at the long list of results.

Xisuma queries: Hands behind back

He gets several animations of Gem, Grian, and Scar, all with some variation of hands behind their backs and mischievous grins. Most of them are snippets made for studying purposes. Two are attached to longer videos, catalogued memories he's kept. His query returns almost four hundred memory transcripts.

Xisuma likes making transcripts. He feels it's similar to the hazy, distant memories people have when time and distance transform them. When someone else remembers something falteringly, he remembers the way he described it to himself. The older transcripts were rougher. He's gotten better at writing them over the years. His learning and pattern recognition softwares are still pretty good, even if they aren't perfect enough to manage the full range of expression on their own.

Xisuma queries: Do my friends know how hard it is to look organic?

This returns no direct results. He receives a directory of the people he's flagged as "friends" over the years, an article on the recent organics additions to the world in the latest update, and a handful of unrelated memory documents where he'd asked this question before and similarly pulled up no response.

Xisuma queries: Do I care?

This pulls up more entries. Xisuma glances across them and clears them.

Xisuma queries: Do I care today?

This pulls up only slightly fewer entries. He smiles. Asking subjective questions to a computer never gleans intended results. Computers aren't subjective. Or, well, they're not supposed to be. Of course, if he were merely a computer, he wouldn't be doing this, would he? If he were merely a computer, he would be sitting on a shelf, or a desk, running prewritten programs and searches for someone else, letting someone else build his code, rules by the guidances and intentions of someone who ultimately viewed him as a tool, if nothing else.

Xisuma queries: Who's flying this thing, if not me?

He pulls up a list of song lyrics and chords, a clip from a movie he'd watched once, an IMDB rating off some database somewhere.

Xisuma clears the data. He pulls up the last memory he was watching, rocks back on his heels and crosses his arms thoughtfully. He presses play.

Click! Click! Click!

"Are you going to get rid of the clicking?"

"Clicking? Oh, I guess I am clicking, aren't I? It's just an inefficiency. I'll fix it at some point, I guess."

Tango smirked at him. One of his hands plucked at his sleeve. Xisuma clips the motion, tags it with hands, nervous, thoughtful, fidget.

"You sure it needs fixed? I kinda like it."

Click! Click! Click!

#the barking writer #xisuma #hermitcraft fic #robot!xisuma #android!xisuma #woe! my headcanons be upon ye!#ive been reading a lot of scifi lately #like... A LOT of scifi #like almost 200hrs of audiobooks in the past 3 weeks #long post #longpost

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lokisprettygirl · 3 months

Text

Deadly Locks (Detective! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Au) (Dark )

Read Chapter 4 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 5

Summary: Feelings resurface and more of your past with daemon is revealed as you take walks through the memory lane.

Trigger Warning: Rape and torture, 18+ , smut, It's a crime thriller so there would be some squeamish dark stuff, read at your own discretion, mention of rape, assault and murder, Speeding and driving under the influence, Reader has long hair, Daemon's hair is up for imagination, Cigarette consumption, some geographical errors

You knew, of course you knew about his past. You had been with him for five years and it took him a long time to open up to you about what he had been through and how awful his early childhood was.

“What does that mean Daemon..i mean what does it have to do with the killer?”

You asked him so he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair,

“I don't know..i mean i am not sure what it means..it could be just a coincidence but–” his eyes teared up so you scooted closer to him and held onto his hand, as he looked down to avoid the tears from slipping down his eyes you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him. That's when he broke down in tears, it wasn't just about this developing theory in his mind but the buildup of every little emotion he had been shoving away since you had broken his heart.

You were taken by a deranged man and he could have lost everything if he had lost you to such a tragedy. He had stayed strong these past few weeks for you, he didn't overreact or cry in your arms when he found you, even though every part of him wanted to fall apart and crumble he kept his cool. But now that you were holding onto him so tenderly like you used to before, he couldn't help but shed tears for everything that could have gone wrong in the past few weeks.

“im sorry..I'm so sorry” he mumbled between his sniffling so you pulled away from him and cupped his cheeks

“Why are you sorry ..you did nothing wrong”

“If I did nothing wrong then how come you're not mine anymore?”

You looked down as he said that, well there were plenty of things he didn't do right in the relationship and that was the reason why you had to let him go but you weren't expecting the conversation to take this turn. He wiped his tears before he got up from the couch to go to the guest room “Sleep well darling”

He mumbled before he left and as soon as he was out of sight you couldn't keep your tears at bay either.

You wanted to go sleep in your room but you didn't want to leave him alone when he felt this way so you walked inside his room, grabbed the comforter and slipped inside. He immediately had his arm around you as if he was waiting for you to do just this

“Talk to me” you mumbled softly. He wasn't good at sharing his troubles, he always wanted to take your problems away but he never really delved into his own.

“About what exactly?” he asked you so you sighed.

“About your mum, you never told me about the lullabies”

“Well there are plenty of details i didn't share because it's not worth my time anymore. I don't want to think about that time in my life”

“Okay then..what does it have to do with the killer?”

“Nothing .. perhaps I'm overthinking “

“It's not like you to overthink these things..you just know”

He couldn't help but smile as you said that to him. His head was a mess but he didn't want to think about it at all, he just wanted to get a peaceful sleep when you were right next to him like this. He had missed sharing a warm bed with you.

“I like this ritual of yours”

“What ritual?” you asked him as you felt confused.

“of you sneaking into my bed”

“Are you flirting with me Detective Daemon?”

“Shush you know I don't flirt”

“Mmhm”

He linked his fingers with yours and you immediately felt relaxed, that was always his way of showing that he cared even if he wasn't good with his words or promises.

And there were days when he really wasn't good with his promises.

You saw the door knob twisting so you wiped your tears, you didn't want him to see how much it had bothered you that he hadn't come home early especially when he had promised you that he would, you picked up the plates from the living room as he entered and you saw the bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand but you didn't say a word and went into the kitchen again.

“Scrappy” he mumbled softly but you didn't respond to him, you pretended to be engrossed in the obsessive cleaning of the kitchen counter.

“Okay..I see you're upset and anxious”

You glared at him as he said that.

And as your eyes welled up again he placed the flowers down on the counter and walked closer to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist to stop you from fidgeting.

“Don't do this. .I'm mad…I'm so very mad at you right now and I don't want to be held or be lured into your apologies and your…just let me go”

Your voice choked on your tears as you spoke to him and his eyes teared up as well. It was your birthday, you wanted him to be there but he got stuck with a case, he had to be at the crime site and he had to document every little thing, he had no clue when time had flown past him.

“No…I'm not letting go ..i know you don't want me to apologize but I'm going to”

“That won't make a difference..”

“I know..”

He wiped your tears from your cheeks as they rolled down incessantly, he despised hurting you this way and ever since he had been promoted he had been making a habit of doing this to you.

“I brought flowers”

“I can see”

“And I got kisses..do you want that? My birthday girl I'm so very sorry –” he mumbled sweetly and that only made you cry harder.

“I ..was drunk and I felt so lonely..”

“You had friends over– i thought “

“I don't need my friends when I'm drunk on my birthday I need you ..” you sniffled as you spoke so he wiped your tears and cupped your cheeks to kiss your forehead.

“Okay I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm sorry, I'm sorry please” he mumbled against your mouth before he kissed you, his fingers clutched into your long hair as he pulled your head back to look at you, he wiped your tears before he dived into the kiss again.

“i miss you i feel like you don't even see me these days” you mumbled against his mouth

“We live together ..I see you everyday”

“That's not what I meant –”

“I know..” he kissed your neck as his hands slipped down your arms and he linked them with yours as tightly as he could, so tight as if he was afraid you'd leave him if wasn't holding onto you like that.

“I see you love…you're all I see..I'm sorry..what can I do hmm? What can I do for you, tell me what I can do to make you happy..my scrappy little love?” He whispered in your ear as he bit on your earlobe so you pulled away from him.

“Well …take a shower, get in bed and then you can show me how sorry you are ..”

Now when he looked back at the day he knew that was the beginning of the worst of it all, he should have been there for you in those little moments and he definitely should have been there with you during those rough days but he wasn't, he chose his work over you, he prioritized his work and he paid for it at the end when you couldn't take his broken promises anymore.

No amount of flowers, or kisses could have brought you back to him so he didn't even try.

Two years ago when you broke his heart and decided to leave he didn't even try to stop you from taking this step because a part of him always felt that you deserved better than him. So much better, you were everything and he was just some guy that didn't even deserve to be your man in the first place.

That night he really wanted to get a peaceful sleep but he couldn't sleep well, he had a dream about his childhood. It was a recurring dream he used to have a lot before, it was just one the earliest memories of his life

His mother had brought a new dress for him, his dada always told him that he was his precious boy but his mama..she never called him that, she always told him he was her pretty little girl, well she only told him that when she felt happy which didn't really happen that often. The dress she had gotten for him didn't look good on him, the make up she did on him didn't flatter him, he was a boy with boyish features and she hated that, she wanted a girl, a pretty girl, she wanted to give birth to a pretty girl like herself but he was a boy.

He saw himself wincing as she pulled on his hair to make pigtails but she got frustrated midway and then she started to scream at him.

“You're fucking ugly,..I can't believe I gave birth to you..no amount of makeup is going to change those hideous features”

She yelled at him but he was so little, so he immediately got scared and ran to her so she'd hold him..she was his mama right?

“Mama mama please don't be angry” she pushed him away as he started to cry and his cries attracted the attention of his father, then he heard them fighting and yelling, it wasn't until years later when he was able to comprehend what his mother was trying to do to him.

**********

Next morning when he woke up he was in a weird mood about the case.

He dropped you at the therapist's office so you wished him a good day at work but after the end of the hour as you stepped out you noticed that he had never left. And that was something you hadn't really expected from him.

As you sat down in the passenger seat you took a good look at him, he wasn't talking and it bothered you that you didn't really understand what was bothering him.

“You don't have to be on my service all the time Daemon. The therapy it's …ummm it's helping and i –”

You stopped speaking as you felt his eyes on you.

“I don't feel pity for you–”

“I never said that–”

“But you're thinking about it.. constantly”

Well he wasn't wrong.

“..I am here because I want to be here..I want to be…close to you”

Your eyes teared up as he said that. A bitter laugh escaped your throat as the memories of the past flooded your mind.

“So you didn't want to be close to me before when you chose your work over me time n again?”

“You have no clue how much I needed you in my life–”

“It didn't really feel that way at times” he sighed as you said that. His knuckles strained as he clutched onto the steering wheel with a death grip.

“I just thought you were mine…for life..for this life ..i thought I had you .. and that you'd always be home no matter at what time I go in there and that was my fault…you didn't deserve a man like that in your life..you didn't deserve to be taken for granted”

You didn't say anything for a while as he said that, he knew where your relationship with him had fallen apart but that didn't hurt you any less. Breaking up with a man you were so crazily in love with wasn't an easy choice to make.

“It was perfect whenever you were there .. everything felt perfect when I had you but I didn't have you with me more than i ever had you with me and that broke my heart..repeatedly”

That day when you went home he told you that he'd come early in the evening and that you didn't have to worry as the cops were outside the house. You were getting bored out of your mind so you looked around the house, he still had his work desk in the living room, the desk that used to put him up at nights a lot of times that he wouldn't even get in bed with you.

You opened the drawer under the desk and there was a picture of you and him from seven years ago. It was taken in a club, you remembered that day clear as today because of the conversation you had with him. He really was an enigma during those early stages of your relationship with him. He still was the same but he was your enigma, the woman you were now knew that man inside out unlike the woman in the picture.

“Shots shots shots..lets go” Donna yelled amidst the loud music so you all took a shot, your face scrunched in disgust at the bitter content of the glass. You were at a nightclub with your friend group to celebrate Donna's engagement. She was engaged to this high profile detective named Otto Hightower, even though he was much older than her they made a perfect pair.

“Oh there he is …your weird police guy” you glared at her as she said that.

“He's not weird…shutup”

“Well he sure looks as if he has never step a foot in a club”

You shook your head as you stepped down from the stool and swam between the crowd of people to get to him, as soon as he saw you there was a clear sign of instant relief on his face.

You had been dating him for just two months, there were still things you didn't know about him.

“Hey there” you hugged him before you kissed him and he was taken aback for a moment before he reciprocated. He had a black leather jacket on with blue jeans and he looked hot as hell. And you really wanted him to stop being such a gentleman and fuck you tonight.

“Are you drunk already?” he asked you as he pulled away from you so you tilted your head and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Maybe.. want to take advantage of me, officer?”

His brows furrowed as you said that before he realized that you were joking, his cheeks turned pink so he looked down but then he looked around, he felt like an alien in that place.

“What is it?” You giggled as you spoke to him so he shook his head.

“Nothing..i…what are we supposed to do here?” he asked you, there was a tinge of nervousness in his voice.

“Dancing of course.. and drinking of course”

“Alright..” you smiled as you looked at him before your brows raised curiously

“Ummm Daemon?”

“Hmmm?”

“You have been to clubs before right?” His face flushed again as you questioned him and as you noticed that he was embarrassed you quickly pulled him closer to kiss him. “Godd You're so adorable.. i love you” his eyes widened as you said that to him but then you were drunk so he didn't take your words to heart even though he really wanted to.

“You're drunk” you giggled as he said that. Did you just confess your love for him? Yeah you did.

“So first time huh?”

“Yeah I'm sorry..are you going to make fun of me with your friends when you go back there..” he asked you and it made you smile.

“Do I seem like that girl?”

“What girl?”

“The type who'd make fun of her boyfriend behind his back?”

“No..you're .. amazing.. and beautiful and an angel..though you piss me off at times when you're being all scrappy and reckless but I love that..i love everything about you and i love you ..ummm no sorry you don't seem the type to do such a thing”

A wide smile graced your features as you heard him rambling.

“And you're not even drunk”

Before you could make him blush further he cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply. You were too much at times, too good for him, too sweet to him, too affectionate verbally and physically that he felt suffocated by your sheer energy around him but then he was getting addicted to that feeling, it got him all high and floaty in his head.

But he obviously didn't fuck you that night.

He was on his way home early like he had promised when he received a very frantic call from Rebecca, she sounded utterly distressed and that worried him.

“Daemon I'm so scared there's a man outside and I don't know what he wants” her voice was full of fear as she spoke on the phone.

“Where are the cops dear?”

“They're not here…I don't know “

He immediately turned the car around as she said that. He had promised to look out for her and he didn't want anything to happen to her. As soon as he reached her house he saw the police car outside the house so he went to talk to them and reprimanded them for leaving but they told him that they had been there throughout their shift and at least one of them had stayed in the past three hours.

He wanted to check on her now that he was there so he knocked on her door and when she opened she seemed fine, albeit a bit scared.

“Rebecca are you alright?” He asked her so she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside the house before she locked it.

“Somebody was out there Daemon I'm so scared” she immediately hugged him and put him off immediately.

“I talked to my guys out there …they said they were here”

She pulled away to look at him as he said that.

“No they…they're lying..why would I lie ?”

She started to cry again so he placed his hands on her shoulders to comfort her.

“I am not saying that you lied…let's just…sit down and get you some water okay?” He made her sit down on the couch and brought her a glass of water from the kitchen.

“I don't trust them…they look at me weirdly and it's just–”

“Did they do something? Said something?”

“No but please I can't be alone..I just feel so scared all the time–”

“I know it's tough but I have promised that I won't let him hurt you again right?”

She nodded as he said that before she held onto his hand and stood up to hug him again.

“I feel safe with you..i know you'd never hurt me..”

He didn't really know how to react as she clutched onto him. She has been through hell and he didn't want to add to it but she really needed to set a boundary.

“Rebecca I need you to listen to me, I'm doing my best to catch him and I won't rest until I have him”

He pulled her away from him but she didn't let go, instead she leaned into him to kiss him, that's when he knew he had to speak up.

“What are you doing?” He asked her sternly, his voice changed from the usual calm to suddenly agitated

“I see the way you look at me Daemon, and I feel the same–”

“You're wrong, so absurdly wrong here. Jesus …get off me” he walked out of the house immediately after that. He didn't really want to deal with this situation when he had a million other things in his mind.

When he came back home he found you in the kitchen making dinner and his sullen mood got better instantly. His life would have been so much better if you still belonged to him.

“Are you okay?” You asked him so he hummed and went to the bedroom to take a shower. The sketch he had gotten made for the woman in the killer's house was everywhere but if it was the killer himself then he knew it would be hard to find him without that wig and heavy makeup even though the whole city was on high alert.

After dinner as you went to your cold bed you tried to sleep there even though you just wanted to sneak into his bed like you had done for the past nights. The ring was still on your mind, the way he talked to you today made you feel as if he still wanted you in his life but then it had been two years. Nothing has changed, he still was the same busy workaholic man that you had left for your own good but he was trying to be there for you. He was handling the biggest case of his life but he was still making time for you and you knew he was trying.

You just didn't understand why.

About an hour later as you heard your door knob twisting you closed your eyes and pretended to sleep. His footsteps reached closer to the bed and then the familiar scent of his tom ford cologne filled your senses. The mattress dipped as he sat down on the bed and you felt the tension around him, not the kind you'd have wanted though. You could just feel that he was tense and worried. Perhaps overwhelmed.

Like a gentleman he covered you with the duvet before he ran his fingers through your hair and then kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight scrappy”

Before he could get away you reached out for him to grab his forearm and he turned around to look at you.

“Always a gentleman aren't you?” You gave him a small smile so he returned it before he sat down again “What's bothering you?”

“Just work, there's a lot of pressure, Otto told me that they'd be bringing in another detective on the case to aid me because I'm not getting anywhere”

You sat up as he said that.

“He can't do that, he knows how valuable you are for his team..you're not just another policeman, you're gifted and i know sooner or later you'd get him”

“Apparently not because I'm so clueless right now”

“Now isn't forever, you're clueless in the moment but you'll get there i know” he gave you a small smile as you motivated him.

“I really want to bring justice to those women but most of all you–”

“I know –”

Your eyes teared up so he placed his hand on your cheek and as he rubbed his thumb over your skin you couldn't help but lean into the touch.

“Were you going to call me ..on my birthday?” you asked him out of nowhere so he took a moment before he answered you.

“I really wanted to..I only thought of you all night long, a part of me felt something but I chalked it up to anxiety.. would you have invited me?”

“Not if you were seeing someone”

He chuckled as you said that.

You didn't say a word after that but laid down and then moved to the side so he could get into the bed with you and he didn't deny either. You maintained your distance for a good five minutes before you scooted closer to him and he wrapped his safe protective arm around you. And just like that both of you felt better. So much better.

A week later there was a Christmas party being held at the precinct so he asked you if you'd like to go with him.

Now you had been to plenty of parties with him before but you were his girlfriend back then, you knew the guys he worked with but you also knew that they won't look at you the same way after what you had been through. You still accepted his invitation, however as you got dressed up after a long time and put the makeup on, you felt nervous and scared, you didn't want to go anymore.

When he entered the room and saw you in that red and black dress his breath shuddered but then he also saw tears in your beautiful eyes so he walked closer to you.

He had a formal black suit on and he looked handsome as ever, when you had met him he was so young and boyish like most men are in their early twenties but now he had filled into his looks and that had only made him more handsome if it was possible.

“I think you should go alone” you said to him so he sighed,

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing I just…I don't want to freak out over something and embarrass you–”

You walked past him as you mumbled so he followed you in the living room. He found you rearranging his desk and he knew you felt anxious, that's what you did whenever you felt so extremely anxious that you were close to panicking.

“Y/n–” he called your name so you spoke immediately.

“Just go ..I'm fine i promise.. you'll get late”

“Y/n” he closed the distance between you two and turned you around so you'd keep your eyes on him. He sat you down on the desk by hoisting you up before he cupped your cheeks between his palms.

“Breathe darling..you're okay..you're okay i promise”

He cooed in your ears so you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly. You weren't always like this but that man had changed you forever, you didn't even know if you'd ever get your old self back or if you'd ever feel the way you used to about life. A life where you didn't feel such immense fear all the time. Once your breathing leveled down you pulled away from him

“Thank you” you mumbled softly so he leaned down to kiss your forehead but he couldn't stop staring at your lips, your fingers traced from his chin to the outline of his tie as you looked up at him.

“You could never embarrass me, i need you to remember that alright?”

You nodded as he said that “We don't have to go, we'll stay here–”

“You should go Daemon-”

“No. I'm not leaving again”

“Then I'll come ..let's go..I'm fine i promise..I want to go out and i don't want to be so afraid”

“Are you sure?” He asked you softly so you nodded in response “I'd be there, right next to you”

On the way to the party you couldn't stop staring at him. He wanted to kiss you right? You didn't imagine or make believe the way he looked at you, right? Did he still feel anything for you? Love maybe? Maybe you should just confront him about the ring because if he had someone in his life you'd hate to be the sort of person that'd wreck a relationship.

But if he had someone would he keep you in his home? Sleep with you in the same bed? Would he take you to the party when he could have taken his girlfriend? You felt crazy, absolutely crazy having all these thoughts in your head.

As you reached the venue there were several familiar faces around and they all smiled at you which made you feel slightly at ease.

“They will think we are back together”

He chuckled as you said that.

“Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world”

As soon as Donna spotted you she came to hug you, and Otto wished you Merry Christmas as well to which you responded with a greeting and a smile. You wanted to go get a drink so you excused yourself. Daemon had offered to bring it for you but you didn't want to be so dependent on him .

“She seems better”

Donna said to Daemon so he looked at you as you were getting your drink made at the bar.

“She's healing slowly”

“Man i have to ask..what's going on between you two?” she asked him so he chuckled in response.

“Nothing. We are friends I think”

“Oh really” she let out a laugh so he rolled his eyes at her. He watched you from a distance as Torres met up with you. Torres was in school with you and then she worked as a traffic police officer along with him so you both knew her, she had moved on to work in law a few years ago. He watched you smile as you talked to her and his eyes teared up.

“She doesn't giggle anymore” Daemon spoke under his breath so Donna looked at him.

“What?”

“She used to giggle..all the time..she doesn't do that anymore..that saddens me” she sighed as he said that.

“Well that's more to do with you then what happened..she never really was the same since the night of her birthday two years ago”

She was your friend ofcourse she knew. As Torres approached him he composed himself and hugged her as he hadn't seen her in a while.

“Where's Jake?” He asked Torres so she looked around.

“Your trainee? Ahh I saw him outside with a girl ..”

Daemon smiled as she said that. Jake was a shy decent guy and never really got involved with women that often so that came as a surprise.

As his phone rang in his pocket he excused himself and stepped away to pick it up as the call was from an unknown number and the voice on the other side was unrecognizable.

“You don't recognise me do you brother..? We have met already though” as soon as Daemon heard that he looked around “Don't bother tracing the call, i won't be around too long. Just wanted to send you my wishes for the festival and tell y/n that I miss her sloppy cunt, too bad i wasn't able to skin her alive”

Daemon's jaw clenched in anger as he heard the killer's voice for the first time. The way he talked about you only fueled his anger further.

“You really think you're so bloody clever huh?”

Daemon said as he felt utterly pissed off. However what the killer said next confused him for a moment but then it also made things pretty transparent for him. He knew where he had to go for all the answers that he was so desperately searching for.

“Ohh by the way give my regards to mother when you see her next”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist

@daddylokisqueen @iamavailablesstuff @123forgottherest @mcufan72 @shuichiakainx @avalyaaa @ajthefujoshi @tatertati-fangirl @urmomsgirlfriend1 @fudge134 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @ammo23

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon targaryen x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #daemon targaryen x reader angst #non canon au #modern day au #modern daemon targaryen #tw rape #dark fic

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junnieverse · 7 months

Text

BEST PART (PART TWO) ➳ P. JONGSEONG

➙ synopsis: after a trip down memory lane and a 'coincidental' run in with your ex after moving back home, you thought you would be able to move on but sparks seemingly started flying once again between you and jay.

pairing: park jongseong x gn!reader

genre: fluff, friends to lovers to exes to lovers (again) au

word count: 1.3k

request: " I almost cried reading Best Part, may I request a part 2 with a happy ending?? "

warnings: not proofread

a/n: I had initially wanted to leave this as a oneshot with a bittersweet ending but because you so kindly asked, here it is anon, enjoy :)

a/n (2): please be sure to read part one [ here ]

You were finally back home after being overseas and for the past two weeks you've been settling back in into your new apartment and catching up with your friends and family.

It felt great to be back and seeing everyone you love in person again but after the day of your trip going through your box of keepsakes, you would catch yourself thinking about Jay once in awhile wondering how and where he was.

Although a big part of you also knew maybe it was best not to see him because you wanted to, no, needed to move on from him and start a new page in your book called life.

Your new apartment still needed some decorating with a personal touch and you thought adding a few vinyl pieces could make your space feel more like home.

Walking into the old music shop you had been introduced to by Jay in the past, you kindly greet the store owner in the front and begin to browse through the various vinyls picking out some you wanted to get.

The store bell rung alerting the owner and you, seeing as you were currently the only customer, that someone else had come in.

You had obviously paid no mind to this simply paying attention to this box of vinyls looking for a new album.

"(Y/n)... is that you?"

Turning your head you immediately recognise the voice you'd missed but also wanted to forget for the longest time.

"Jay... h-hi." you say weakly as your voice cracked.

It felt as thought your entire world was crashing down and in that moment you were just holding back tears and wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

"How've you been, it's great to see you again. When did you get back?" he asks calmly trying to make small talk but little did you know his heart was beating uncontrollably fast.

"Uhm yeah haha. I've been good I guess. Got back about two weeks ago so I've just been settling in." you tell him wanting to run away.

"It was nice to see you too but I have to uhh... unpack some of my other things back home." you excuse yourself avoiding eye contact with him fiddling with your fingers nervously.

Just as you turned around to leave to go pay for the vinyls you picked out, Jay stops you gently grabbing your wrist and you notice a particularly familiar bracelet on his wrist.

"I hope it's okay if I message you again if you don't mind... maybe we can catch up over a coffee sometime." he suggests letting go of your arm and scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Y-you still have my number..?" you ask him suprised by this.

"Yeah. I kept them... you know just in case." he said smiling sheepishly.

"Oh uhm, okay then, you can text me. I'll see you soon then."

Your heart and mind were both racing at this point.

You didn't know whether it was the right move to let Jay back into your life but having met him here again has to be some sort of sign right?

Fate?

And the bracelet you made him, not only had you both broken up but he was still wearing it too...

You plop down onto your couch, after arriving home, letting out a deep sigh trying to figure out how your life suddenly took an entire 180.

Jay did in fact text you that night and talking to him again brought back so many emotions you'd tried so hard to let go of.

You felt like a giddy high schooler experiencing her first love all over again.

You both had agreed to meet at a cafe not far from where you lived the following Saturday and you were quite nervous.

Seeing Jay again after so long only proved to you that you were still undoubtedly in love with him and you were secretly hoping he was too.

Walking into the cafe that afternoon, you catch Jay sitting across a table near the window looking beautiful as the sun hit him at the best angle making his skin glisten.

"Hey Jay." you greet him about to sit down but before that he abruptly pulls you in for a hug.

You feel yourself melting in his embrace taking a whiff of the vanilla scent you missed still proceeding to hug him back despite how awkward you felt.

"It's great to see you again, thank you for agreeing to this." he says pulling away first as he pulled out your chair to let you sit as you thanked him taking your seat.

"Wow, this place sure has changed, felt like just yesterday we were here on one of our dates." you say looking around admiring the new interior of the place as you reminisced about the past.

"Yeah, it feels good to be back here with you, it didn't feel the same coming alone." he admits shyly as a waiter suddenly places your drinks and food down.

"Why am I not suprised, you still remember my go-to order." you say trying to hide your smile as Jay chuckles.

"I wanted to make a good impression. Although I was worries maybe it might have changed, glad it didn't." he says feeling relieved watching you enjoy your food.

"So how was it studying overseas, anything memorable?" he asks trying to make conversation.

You were glad Jay was able to make you feel comfortable, it felt like talking to an old friend and catching up.

You both then exchanged stories of what has been going on for these past two years you'd been away from each other and yet, you hadn't picked up any romance in his story.

"So you didn't meet anyone while I was gone..?" you ask clearing your throat.

"I wasn't really interested in anyone. Plus I'm still I love with y-" he stops himself realising what he just said as your eyes widen.

"I-I'm so sorry, uh, I don't want to put you in a difficult position. I completely get it if you've moved on-" he rambles and you stop him trying to calm him down by laying your hand on his across the table.

"It's okay Jay, I feel the same way." you admit as his ears turn red and he had the biggest smile on his face.

It felt so relieving being able to finally get that out to him and even better to know he felt the same way.

You both then spent the entire day catching up more and visiting old places you'd go to making new memories there.

"Thank you for today, I had a great time." you tell Jay as you stop in front of your door both your hands in his as you gently sway them.

"Wait uhm, I actually have something for you." he says gently rubbing your hands with the pad of his thumb letting go briefly handing you the small letter from the inside pocket of his jacket.

"Oh, thank you." you accept the letting wondering what it was.

"But open it only once you're inside and I've left." he says smiling shyly.

"Okay Jay, goodnight." you tell him nodding in understanding.

Letting go of his hands, not really wanting to though, you decide to make the first move planting a short peck on his cheek leaving Jay in awe as you went inside.

You look at the letter once more opening it and reading it's content feeling yourself about to burst into tears.

At the end of the letter it read:

'Day 01: I love your presence, no matter how much time passes, I still feel myself loving you more and more and now we can finally start over together.'

He still remembered the letters, you thought to yourself with the biggest smile.

Maybe things would work out just fine.

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oneshotnewbie · 6 months

Note

Could you write Maya Bishop and little sibling reader. Reader is about to graduate college and is looking forward to freedom away from Lane. Maya has shown up always to support reader in any way possible.

Authors note: I'm having a really crappy day and it's not even 9am so… here's a little comfort story with Maya Bishop so that if you're also having a bad start to the day like me, it might get a little better.

ᕚ---ᕘ

It was afternoon as you sat at the desk in your room. In front of you lay a whole stack of books that represented the last four years of your life and the finished thesis that you had already handed in weeks ago. The room was filled with a strange mix of relief and sadness as you realized the chapter in your life was nearing its end, and the anticipation of your independence was hard to miss on your face.

You stared out the window as the leaves rustled outside with the gentle summer wind and you thought about all the years you tried to please your father but never seemed to achieve it, no matter what you did or how hard you tried. Nothing was ever good enough for him.

The room was silent, only the rustling of leaves reached your ears and the dull sound of arguments in your memory could be heard. The unsaid words, the heavy punishments and the screaming voice of Lane were still hidden deep within the walls, your father's stubborn, unyielding face still visible in front your eyes. He never understood who you really were, never understood that you would never be what he imagined.

Your eyes wandered to an old photo on the desk - a picture of you with your whole family when the world was simpler, before Maya moved out and your relationship with your father became more complicated and strained. You longed for a life that was not burdened by him. The future seemed uncertain, but also full of freedom and new beginnings, far from the difficult relationship with your father.

Lost in thought, you closed your eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Breaths of freedom wafted through your room and the idea of finally being independent gave you a warm feeling of relief. Soon you would leave this place, throwing off the shackles of your past and into a future of your own making. Freedom lay before you like an open book, and you were already writing the first pages with your sister.

„Hey you,“ a soft voice pierced your ears, tearing your thoughts apart. You looked up as your sister entered your room, a worried look on her face. "Maya! What brings you here? Are you not on shift?" you got up from your seat and quickly walked towards her. You let yourself be pulled into a tight hug and jumped on top of her, clinging to her like a little monkey. The older one giggled and tried to walk to the bed with you in her arms to sit down with you. "I have the day off and I thought, maybe you would like to stay with Carina and me for the weekend?"

A wide smile sparked on your lips, making the thin, thoughtful lines from before disappear. You nodded your head wildly as it rested on her shoulder and pulled away from her. "That would be really great, let me just pack up a few things?" With those words you set out to pack some clothes and the most important things into a carrying bag. “Y/n?”

"Yes, Maya?" The blonde sighed loudly, hesitating for a moment with the question that had been plaguing her ever since she saw you at the desk with the family picture you were holding in your hands. "I Am a little worried," she began to speak, standing up to close the open door to prevent some unidentified ears from overhearing the conversation. Lane was at home and his hearing was acute whenever she visited you. "What exactly are you worried about?" You asked seriously, stopping what you were doing to listen carefully to your sister.

"I know what you were just thinking about before I came in. You are thinking about whether leaving home is the right decision and I can understand why," she padded onto the empty seat next to her as she sat back on the edge of your bed. You reluctantly found your place, your leg bent as you nervously played with the end of your pants. "He is our father, I know. But he is a toxic environment for you, he is not good, y/n. He denied you everything that makes a human being. Your individuality, your freedom and your dignity. He wanted to break you and it is time to disappear."

"But he is our family. Mother too. What if I lose her? Then I only have you," Maya could sense that you were close to tears and fighting them back as the last words came out broken and you swallowed hard. Gently, she placed a hand on your shoulder and pulled you in to welcome you into her arms again. "Both of them never really supported us or loved us the way we deserved. It hurts, but it is the truth. We have a family, people who understand and accept us as we are. Station 19."

"But it still hurts to know that we are leaving our roots behind. Even if they are poisonous, they are our parents," you looked into Maya's eyes, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. She took your hand and mingled her fingers with yours before her thumb stroked the back of your hand. "But sometimes we have to let go to save ourselves. We can not live in this shadow forever and must find our own light to shine."

ᕚ---ᕘ

The light of the setting sun bathed the campus in a warm, pink glow as you walked up the steps to the podium in your graduation robe to receive your diploma. The smile on your face radiated pure relief as you held the diploma roll tightly in your hand and ran your thumb over the red ribbon. The burden of college that you had carried for years seemed to magically disappear from your heart and you exhaled deeply to ground yourself.

You looked for your older sister who was standing at the edge of the fairground with the whole team of Station 19 next to her, a proud look evident in her glittering eyes. They were the only family that had accompanied you that day, and their presence meant more to you than a thousand words could ever express. Maya had always believed in you, even when Lane could not and your mother was too scared to show it.

You felt a knot unraveling inside you as you looked out over the cheering graduates, proudly throwing their graduation hats into the sky. A feeling of freedom spread through you as you thought that you were now in control of your own life. No more strict rules, no more unfulfillable expectations from your father with additional punishments. You would go your own way, with Maya by your side.

The ceremony began, and as the graduates celebrated their achievements, you could not help but look at your sister, who smiled back with proud eyes, and jump into her arms. "I am so proud of you, sweetheart. You did it," she spoke joyfully, pressing her lips tightly to your forehead while spinning you around. „Ready for a new life?“

You nodded happily and smiled widely at your bigger sister. It was a moment of connection and understanding between the two of you. A promise to build a future together, free from the shadows of the past and away from Lane. A well-deserved college degree, a symbol of freedom, was within reach.

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rose-pearls · 1 year

Text

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend - Part 6

Previous Part - Next Part

The night had been short, memories of the recently watched games were haunting your night. Doctor Everdeen had talked with you after talking with Peeta and when you told her about your memories, she told you that you could eventually watch the games.

Watching them had been rough, seeing your past self that you just couldn’t remember killing these people and then losing the little girl. The sight of the girl on the ground bleeding out was haunting, you didn’t know how you would ever be able to forget the sight of it.

The doctor had been glad that you were getting back your memories even if they were quite negative, they were still memories. She had told you about the fact that you were ready to give up your life for Prim, her daughter. There were tears in your eyes as she told you about her and in the darkest part of your mind you wished you couldn’t remember that feeling of guilt.

A knock could be heard on your door and as you opened your eyes, silently hoping that it wasn’t the doctor because you couldn’t go through another trip down memory lane, Finnick appeared.

He was a handsome man, even with the sad eyes that he always seemed to have around you, he was still the most beautiful man you had ever seen.

“Hi, hopefully I didn’t wake you up?”, he says after a few seconds of looking at you and you smile timidly at him.

“No, I was already awake.”, you don’t know what to tell him, although you had told him last night that you wanted him to help you, you didn’t know what to do.

“I thought of something that could maybe help with your memory.”, that makes you look up from your bed, to see him looking at you nervously.

“Thank you, hopefully it will help.”, you tell him, and he nods slowly, looking around the room.

“I got special permission of Coin to be able to go outside, if you want that of course?”, he asks after a few seconds, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“I would love that, getting kind of sick of these walls.”, he lets out a chuckle and you can’t help but smile at him, happy to see him a bit lighter than before.

“Let’s go then.”, you follow him outside and through the walls, not understanding how he can manage to find his way through these walls. The both of you are quiet just walking down the halls until you end up outside for the first time in a few months.

There seems to be nothing left of the old district, but still, you can’t help but look in awe at the bright blue skies, the birds chirping in the distance. You don’t know how long you stay there admiring your surrounding until you turn around to see Finnick looking at you with a soft smile.

“Sorry, got distracted.”, you whisper softly, feeling a blush rise on your cheeks but Finnick just shakes his head smiling towards you.

“No worries, I’m glad you are enjoying it.”, you can’t help but look at him and the two of you stay there looking at each other for a moment before a voice breaks the two of you apart.

“Let’s go love birds we don’t have all day!”, Johanna yells as she arrives and Finnick glares at her while you chuckle at her words making her smile at you.

The three of you are joined by Haymitch before you all start the walk towards the small river that they had found the last time they had gone up. Finnick was walking next to you, telling you about different plants that only grew here while Haymitch and Johanna were bickering about the way.

After ten more minutes of walking, you arrived at the small river and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of it, the sun was reflecting into it, and you could hear birds chirping everywhere. It felt good to finally being out of these bunkers that you had been in the last few weeks.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”, Finnick is smiling at you knowingly and you can’t help but blush under his gaze before turning back towards the water.

“It’s just, so beautiful.”, you can’t help but whisper as you look around.

“It really is.”, he isn’t looking around as you look back towards him, he is looking at you with a soft smile and you can just smile shily in response.

Finnick leads you to a small patch of grass close to the water and the two of you sit down, looking at the water while just enjoying the weather. A gush of wind makes your head hurt for a moment before a memory comes back.

The smell of seawater fills your nose, and the sight of a beautiful beach makes his way to your mind, you can hear Finnick’s voice, and you feel his arms around you after a moment, reassuring you.

“Thank you for everything.”, you hear yourself say before leaving the smiling man on the beach. The feeling of safety and reassurance comes back at the memory.

Finnick’s voice breaks through your memory as he looks at you worryingly, his eyes slightly panicked as you blink at him.

“Hey, are you okay?”, his hands are cupping your cheeks, trying to see if everything is alright and you can’t help but enjoy the softness of them. The feeling of his thumb brushing your cheeks makes them turn red and you can still smell a bit of the ocean on his hands.

“I’m alright, sorry, got a memory.”, you whisper under your breath, slightly breathless as his touch and his gaze.

He still takes a moment to look over you and you smile at him to try and reassure him. You put your hands on his and softly stroke them, hoping to calm down his panicked eyes.

“Sorry, I just got scared that something was wrong with you.”, he whispers after a moment, his voice slightly breaking under the words, but you just smile softly at his words, rubbing your thumb reassuringly on his skin.

The two of you stay there for a moment, just looking at each other and after a moment Finnick brings his head closer to yours and puts his forehead against yours. A sigh leaves his lips at the contact, and you can’t help but let your eyes close at the contact. Your thumb stops rubbing his hand and just holds onto it, hoping that it would reassure him.

“We used to hold each other like this after a nightmare or after we lost a tribute.”, he whispers softly under his breath and you squeeze his hand in reassurance, telling him to continue.

“Sometimes just having you nearby would calm me down like no one had ever been able to do after my games. But there you were just looking at me with a gaze full of love and it felt like everything would be alright.”, a smile is gracing his lips as you open your eyes to look at him and after a moment, he opens his eyes to, at the sight of your open eyes his eyes water.

“Just like you are doing right now.”, he whispers under his breath, his voice slightly breaking but you just smile at him.

“I don’t remember a lot, but I know that you were someone I felt safe with. Even if I don’t remember it all I know that I do care a lot about you and that will probably never stop.”, you tell him after a moment of silence and Finnick closes his eyes, letting a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You take your hands off his to brush the tears away, feeling the guilt of not being able to tell him that everything would be alright because you didn’t know what would happen.

“I’m sorry you have to go through this.”, Finnick snorts at your words and you look at him slightly surprised.

“That’s typically you, worrying about me first when you are the one that went through hell there and I couldn’t save you.”, you can see the guilt in his eyes, you recognize it from your own eyes when you started remembering your games.

“I think I will always worry about you, no matter what happens. And I guess I also don’t want to see you hurt, particularly because of me.”, Finnick looks at you slightly surprised before a loving smile takes place. He looks like he wants to say something before a voice break through your bubble.

“We need to go, it’s going to start raining soon and we won’t be able to get back in time before it starts.”, Haymitch yells and the two of you look at him slightly surprised.

Finnick smiles at you shily before yelling at Haymitch that we would be there in a minute.

“We’ll talk some more later or tomorrow?”, he asks with a hopeful look in his eyes, and you nod quickly, a smile on your lips at his words.

He takes your hand before leaving towards Haymitch and Johanna that quickly take you back to the underground, the rain starts falling and you feel the rain seeping into your clothes. But as you feel it you can’t help but smile, small memories of a little girl turning around in circle makes you smile as you get back inside. You can’t wait to get back outside, but you know it was going to take some time before you could.

The four of you are ready to get back to the hospital before Boggs stop you on your way there.

“Coin wants to talk to you, the rest of the group is already there.”, you turn towards him questioningly, but he just nods in affirmation, you also had to be there.

“Welcome!”, a female voice greets you as you enter the room, Finnick’s hand still firmly into yours before he lets go of it, squeezing it in reassurance.

“We haven’t had the honor to meet yet I’m Coin, president of district 13”, she says, and you quickly tell her your name even if you are quite certain she already knows it.

“I have asked you all here because after Katniss went to do some promos, the districts are starting to rebel and our clear goal of taking over the Capitol is on his way. Snow has decided to open the Capitol for one last game, but he wants to clear the streets before they do.”, all of you look around at each other and you start to feel a certain unease.

“Some of you already started training and others didn’t but at the end of this week you will all be sent into our testing block to see if you can join our elite squadron.”, she says with a large grin, and you can’t help but feel sick.

“I’m sorry but am I even allowed to do that?”, you ask after a few seconds of silence, and she looks at you with a strange smile.

“You suffered a memory loss, but that doesn’t mean you lost your skill set. You are going to be a great asset.”, Haymitch and Finnick immediately start to argue but you can’t stop looking at her, feeling that something isn’t right.

“She suffered torture, and you want to send her to combat? What if it makes her go back to having no memories anymore.”, Coin sighs for a moment at Finnick’s words, like she is exhausted.

“She is improving day by day and it isn’t sure that she will be getting on the squad, she has to pass the tests.”, the woman smiles back at coyly and you want to rip off that smile.

“I’m doing the test, but on one condition.”, she looks at you with interest, just like the rest of the room. You know that there is only one way you can avoid this, avoid the obvious trap you are getting sent in by her.

“Only if Peeta is also allowed.”

Taglist: @nobody7102, @universal-s1ut, @wannapizzamymindposts, @ladyfiction, @readingb, @capswife, @bela-nov, @zendayabelova, @iwanttoleavekudos

Thank you once again for all the love! Hopefully everyone that wanted to join the taglist is in it. If you want to join it just comment or send a message :))

#the hunger games #hunger games fanfiction #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair

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yenalogyy · 7 months

Text

Nakamura Kazuha | Been a while II

“Feeling better?”

Sitting opposite of his long time friend who’s calming herself down at the moment, having bursted her tears out after not seeing her best friend in a years. Memories streaming down her memory lane which triggers her tear to come flowing down, as well as the longing feeling of talking with him.

She hummed, sniffling her nose as she took a tissue from the table. Her eyes stared blankly onto it before turning her gaze to him.

“Your eyes look puffy.”

“You’re to blame.” She took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as her emotions became more stable.

“Well… we’ve been sitting here for a while, why don’t we order something? Do you want something warm?”

“Some tea would be nice.” She confirmed, before he called the waiter over.

“So… how many days will you be staying here, Zuha?”

“For about a week. I just landed here earlier this evening, and decided that I’d take a stroll since it’s been quite some time since I’d walked down by the river.”

“I see.”

Silence fell upon them once more. There wasn’t much to their conversation after Y/N ordered their drinks, only glancing around the cafe without looking at each other. He then thought of a way to break the ice.

“This reminds me, remember the time where you fell from your bike when you were still a beginner? It was at the exact same riverside when it happened, wasn’t it?”

“…I can’t believe you made me remember such an embarrassing memory right after I just got done bawling my eyes out.”

He chuckled at her answer.

“Sorry. It’s just that it’s been a long time since we last talked, and I’m not sure of what I should talk about. What I do know is that- I just want to talk to you.” She blew her nose, giggling at his explanation before replying.

“I feel the same way, Y/N. But perhaps we can start by talking about what we’ve been doing for the past few years.”

They both caught up with each other’s lives, learning that Kazuha was still working at her father’s company, starting as an associate and eventually promoted to become a supervisor once he felt that she was ready for the job. It proved to be true after productivity reached its highest of the last 3 years.

She came to take a breather after not taking any vacations for the longest time, hence her sudden breakdown.

“Was it hard? Did you have anyone to talk to during that time?”

“I didn’t. But that’s okay because now, I have you.” He wasn’t sure what she meant by that, resulting in his words becoming stuck in his throat. She wasn’t sure of what happened, before realizing what her sentence could’ve implied.

“I-I mean, because I have you to talk to right now!”

“Oh! Yeah, right! Of course.” They laughed it off, before it fell silent once again.

“But if you want it to be that way, then…” She whispered low enough for him to not hear what she might’ve mumbled.

“Did you say something just now?”

“I wasn’t!” She waved her hands, before switching topics to another.

#kpopfanfic #kpopimagines #malereader #oneshot #fluff #nakamura kazuha #le sserafim

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peeterparkr · 2 years

Text

august; steve harrington

two:for the hope of it all

august; or how you missed Steve’s character development

Steve Harrington x reader

story summary: memories of a forgotten summer haunt you to this day, and Steve wants to make it up to you. chapter summary: m&m's, elton john and the mall word count: 4.5k warnings: none, elton john? italics are the past

masterlist

playlist

chapter one: lost in the memory

wanna be tagged?

Hi :) here's part two, i didn't expect part one to do well so I'm hoping you guys like this one as much :) please tell me what you think

Steve had always liked that particular spot in the woods, the other places were always crowded and he liked the silence, always covered in leaves, especially in fall. It’s good to point out now, it was spring.

Summer would eventually come.

Steve disliked the crowds, so much. Which was ironic considering who he had been before.

Spring break was over now. And Steve had too much in his mind. Much to think about, and the water in the woods was adding to his paradise. Paradise that was more of a nightmare when he really gave it a thought.

Except, it was a nightmare.

He remembered that spot to be the spot where he had lost something one day. His heart, probably. Or maybe he had acquired one.

Heading to that rock days before to look for the upside down had brought him into memory lane. A lane which he always tried avoiding. For his own sake, guilt perhaps

A place that had once been his. And yours, too.

The idiotic idealization always interrupts clandestine thoughts. Those that always want to stay quiet and are part of one’s heart own irreverence.

To be part of a story was no more than a profound craprice, and it sounded more like an unfulfilled dream. A dream you wish upon but shall never come true.

No more than staring and smiles dedicated to the air, hoping a pair of flirty eyes will somehow come back. Idyllic it would be to find that peace that you once offered.

A peace he’d never been able to find yet again.

Guilt. That’s probably why he couldn’t keep on going.

And it had been since before. He had seen you a few weeks before, and while he had been on a lame attempt to try and find someone to get to a second date with he had realized something that men are never proud to admit. He was not good at dating.

He had been a good boyfriend only once, and not even then. He had been mediocre for the least.

Steve Harrington had had his heart broken twice, both had been his fault. He didn’t doubt that.

With Nance—it was difficult, and he knew to be holding on to a hope that didn’t and would never get him anywhere.

Meanwhile, with you. It was complicated. More than he could ever admit, not even that he didn’t want to, he just—couldn’t.

No one would ever get him like you did. And he knew that. And he’d never get what he had with her.

Yes, Steve remembered that summer, too. But he liked to pretend he didn’t.

So when he had seen you he had become worse at dating, as if it wasn’t bad enough.

He’d lost it.

Sometimes true love isn’t where you love most but where you’re loved the most. It made sense for him to try and get back to you.

Steve had always avoided you but a few weeks before, and before the whole madness started yet again, a few weeks before he’d seen you.

You had gone to the Family Video store and you had been searching for The Breakfast Club.

Of course you would have liked that one. It made sense for you to like it, it had an incredible soundtrack. You were one to be a big fan of great music.

And he initially didn’t recognize you. For him, your name was August. Because of you, he had learned to love summer and that particular month.

He remembered it perfectly, laying down on an open space. His head against his hand as you were nervously playing with a dandelion.

And it had started one night, one single night when he had been trying to escape from the reality he was supposed to live in.

Steve had been walking alone for a while, he had just escaped a party, slightly drunk. Nothing he was supposed to be proud of. His cheek was bleeding, some douche bad had landed his fist on his cheek because he’d learned Steve had… spent some nights with his girlfriend.

August 2nd, 1983. School was still far from starting.

He was walking alone, shuffling his feet, hands in his pockets.

He sat by the sidewalk, under a streetlight, kicking at some of the loose cobblestones on the ground.

That was the first time Steve had ever felt lost.

His cheek hurt and he could only wonder why he had done it.

Why the fuck had he decided to kiss Genevieve? It was nothing but to prove himself something. He was an idiot,

Two lights blinded him and he raised his hand to cover his eyes, an old red truck approached him.

“Steve Harrington?” The voice asked from the inside.

Steve squinted, trying to see who it was. A pretty stranger, who wasn’t really a stranger, or was it?

“It’s y/n, I used to tutor you,” you had said.

He nodded. “Y/N, yes.”

“Are you okay?”

He sighed. “Do I look okay?”

You chuckled. “No.”

“Come on, get in, let’s drive.”

His savior. And not only that one particular night. And it was when he saw you again at family video when he realized he really had fucked up. How had he left someone who had given him so much?

And it wasn’t that he had simply given up, but he’d felt so guilty, how can you come back to someone who you know you lost forever?

How cruel he’d been.

“Do you know her name?” Robin had asked.

Steve did. August. Y/N. August.

And it was as if Steve had seen a ghost, a ghost of his past wearing a pair of worn out blue jeans and a white shirt. White converse.

“Jeez, you’re creepy, I know she’s pretty, but please stop staring.”

Steve glanced at Robin.

“It’s y/n, you probably don’t remember her. You broke her heart.”

And he’d broke his own while at it. As if two crossed swords had stabbed him, killing him comoletely. A combination of the last words she’d said to him and the fact that he’d caused them.

Dying because of a woman once might be normal, dying because of two, even could be relatable. But dying twice for the same woman when the dawn was breaking had probably been a nightmare.

“Yeah. About… Three years ago, yeah, it was—“

“August 1983, I know,” he said. “Y/L/N.”

Anxiety was stealing his senses.

“You want to go talk to her?”

“Yeah, yeah, never got the chance before,” Steve said.

Robin snorted. “No, you never gave it the chance.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “But I’ve changed. You know that.”

Robin pursed her lips. “She used to be my friend, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You were a douchebag.”

“I know. I live with that every day.”

“Really? Cause you’ve never mentioned her before,” she pointed out.

Steve shrugged. “Some things I like keeping them to myself, now if you’ll excuse me—“he made his way over. “Y/N—hey!”

You only glanced up with your eyes, your hand was still wandering through the different movies. There was a pause.

“Can I—May I help you out?” He offered with a smile.

“I’m all set,” your eyes landed back on the case for the breakfast club.

“So, are you—are you—“but you were gone before he could even ask more, Robin had helped you check out and you had been quick to leave.

“By-bye bye!” Steve called out.

He was an idiot. But after that, he’d tried to get to you every day. And every night.

He’d gone to the dinner alone or with Dustin or with Robin trying to get to talk to you. You would always avoid him as he had before.

Except for this night when he had screwed up completely. That night when he’d danced to

He ran to his car and sighed.

“Look, I know,” Steve buffered.

Robin took a deep breath. “Look, you managed to get her to talk to you.”

“Is that considered talking?” Dustin asked.

Steve snorted.

“Why are you obsessing over her?” Dusting asked. “Like—why now.”

“Yes, why now?” Robin asked.

Steve sighed. He didn’t know. Why now?

“Are you going to apologize to every girl whose heart you broke?” Dustin asked.

“Please tell me it’s not because of Nance,” Robin sighed. “Like, seriously. You’re not trying to get an emotional rebound. Are you? Because if you are, I wont support it and I will support it even less if it’s y/n.”

“No, no, no“ he sighed. “I’ve been thinking a lot, about how I wanted 6 kids and everything.”

“Cringiest thing you’ve told Nance, by the way” Robin said.

“I thought it was romantic.”

“If a guy said that to me I would kill him.”

“Thanks, but—I realized that dream—that—I don’t know, I want—I just need to make it up to her.”

“What did you do to her?” Asked Dustin.

“He made her fall in love with him and then blew it all up,” Robin answered.

“That’s debatable,” Steve argued.

“It’s not.”

Steve tilted his head. “Yeah, it’s not.”

“Pretended to like her-“

“No,” Steve interrupted. “I never pretended. I was as smitten with her.”

“But you weren’t as hurt.”

And he hadn’t been. Not as much.

You knew he hadn’t gone through the acceptance of a breakup of a relationship that never happened.

Perhaps those are the hardest.

Betrayal and obsession carry the opening of a very simple human response. Which are often led by the same physical reaction.

The spectrum of both relied on love and heartbreak which you could exempt yourself from, today.

When Steve Harrington had decided you had to stop existing in his own life and expectrum, the unexpected but prompted misery had overcome your life.

Because how are you ever supposed to get over someone whom you were not supposed to be…

You had gone through it. Because you knew it. You had never been expected to call Steve Harrington yours.

Even when the summer had been.

The late nights talking about everything and nothing would not get in your brain.

Or so had you thought.

Because before any right sense could come to you, Steve had walked back in.

“Meet me behind the mall tomorrow, at sunset, like usual.”

The first time you’d ever met behind the mall, it had been you suggestion. Back then you worked at the movie theatre and knew all the perfect spots to hang out in.

“See? This is great, we can continue our previous conversation, and no one has to know about it, we don’t have to tell them,” you’d said.

Maybe it had been stupid to even think about suggesting it, you’d given up every chance to be seen with Steve harrington.

But it didn’t rely on that. And that’s probably why Steve had liked you.

You genuinely wanted to listen to him and didn’t want or need the world to know you’d saved him the night before. The world didn’t need to know that you’d both spent the night under the stars talking about bad choices and old Greek stories about the stars,

Made up, of course, neither of you knew the real meaning behind the green mythology.

“About life’s undeniable and unstoppable graceful ending? Or about the made up stories about Hercules,” he sat beside you.

“Both,” you said pulling out some m&m candy you’d borrowed from the candy bar at the movie theater.

“Hm. Sounds exciting.”

“Well, let’s play a game with m&m’s. Every time you get a blue one…”

“Yes?”

“You’ll have to admit to a Never have I ever.”

“How so?” He laughed,

“Like—you’ll just admit to something you’d never done before.”

“Okay, and what about red?”

“A lie and two truths and I have to guess which it is.”

“Brown?”

“You have to sing a song with a word I give you ”

“Green?”

“You have to tell a joke or a pun.”

“And yellow?”

“A secret.”

“We are missing orange,” he pointed out.

“You pick that one.”

“How about a kiss?”

He hadn’t had m&m’s since but he had bought some for the next day, waiting at sunset for you to show up. He knew you quit the movie theater after that summer probably because your heart couldn’t handle it. And you had avoided the mall ultimately more when you’d learned he was working there.

Steve had yet to admit it to himself. He had fallen in love with you.

But he had been too proud? Is that the right word?

To reduce it to just pride would be incompetent.

One of the highlights of the aftermath of the summer had been how terrible he’d felt but then he admitted to himself of how little it had taken him to try and replace it.

That’s when Nancy Wheeler came in.

And Steve remembered walking down the halls, and sneaking into bathrooms with Nancy.

But he also remembered homecoming. He usually likes avoiding such irreverent and silly events.

Steve did remember homecoming at the gym. Y/N wasn’t alone that’s what he remembered,

Perhaps that same feeling of heartbreak was along with him that particular sunset as he waited for you to show up.

You didn’t.

But it’s Steve Harrington we are talking about. He wouldn’t give up that easily.

So he did what any insane man would do, he went up to your house and saw your opened window.

Music was playing from the inside and he could see you were busy, probably sketching something on your pad. With a new cardigan, a green one.

He wondered if your room was the same as that summer. With the lilac sheets and drawings scattered along the floor.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so that I may climb thy golden stair!” Had been the thing he had gone with the first time he snuck into your room.

“You’re an idiot,” you’d said between giggles

What would he go with, now? He knew what it would mean.

He was nervous, standing under a streetlight.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel!” He called. “Let down your hair.”

You stopped, dropping your pencil and looking out, seeing him standing there.

“Oh, no, please don’t,” you begged. As soon as you realized who was outside, you rushed to close your window, not completely, leaving it slightly open.

He frowned and sighed, but that wouldn’t stop him.

“Rapunzel! Rapunzel!” He yelled again. “Let down—-I don’t know anything else. Look I would quote Shakespeare but I don’t know it.”

You chuckled.

He smirked, so he did have your attention. “I’ll try to quote Shakespeare for you,” he cleared his throat. “Eh, Juliet? Juliet? Are you there? Eh… whats up, Juliet? ” He attempted. “I don't know what the shit it says.”

You rolled your eyes opening the window. “That’s your attempt to quote Shakespeare? What’s up?”

“Yeah, hey Juliet it’s hella boring outside, it’s Romeo,” he grinned watching you, “that’s exactly what it’s written. Shakespeare was talented, dude had his way with words.”

You tried not to laugh not to humor him. You disliked him still, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?”

“Is that the real shit?”

“Yeah.”

“Mine is better,” he grinned.

You watched him.

He licked his lips. “So…”

“Goodbye, Steve.”

“No, no, wait. Juliet Juliet, let down your hair.”

“That’s Rapunzel.”

“Juliet, Juliet.., let’s go… swimming? I don’t know what they do in Romeo and Juliet,” he admitted.

You laughed, “swimming? Okay, so tell me where did they swim?”

“Water.”

You snorted. “Goodbye, Steve.”

“No, really, please wait… why did you not come? I waited for… about 10 minutes but then I realized you wouldn’t come.”

“Where?”

“I told you I’d be waiting behind the mall at sunset.”

“I don't like you.”

He sighed. “Come on, let’s go and hang out.”

“No.”

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel.”

“Wasn’t I Juliet?” You asked, leaning against the window frame.

“Juliet, Rapunzel, Y/N, with hair so fine. Come out your window, climb down the vine,” he offered.

You scrunched your nose. “The feat you ask, dear sir, isn't easy. And I won't respond to that line, it's far too cheesy,” you said with a smirk.

Steve knew, though. He knew he had you now. Or that it would get easier.

“Fine, I’ll sing you a song!”

You blinked. “What?”

He took a deep breath and then yelled out the most agonizing call he could’ve. “Turn around.”

“What are you doing?” You yelled back embarrassed.

“Look at what you see!”

“What the hell are you doing? Shut up!” You yelled again.

He smirked and sang, although that word would be used liberally, even louder. “In her face… the mirror of your dreams!”

“Shut up, shut up! What in the hell are you doing?”

“Make—“he laughed mid-song. “Make believe” he couldn’t do it now he couldn’t stop laughing. “Make believe they’re everywhere!”

“Steven! Stop!”

“I dont know what’s next so never ending story!”

“Fine, come here just shut up!”

He grinned. “Great!” He started climbing up the vine. “Reach the stars!” He kept singing.

“Shut up or I’ll push you.”

“Fine.”

He finally reached to your window and climbed in.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“I climbed up here.”

“I can see that.”

He looked around at your room and searched for a place where he could make himself comfortable. “You still asked.” He sat on your bed.

“Why are you here?”

“Because you asked me to stop singing so—“he reached out for your sketchbook and tried going through the pages.

“Steve.”

“Because I want to hang out with you.”

You rolled your eyes, pulling away your sketchbook. “Why?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like you.”

“I know,” he nodded. “ I want to apologize because I was a huge jerk to you.”

“You don’t even understand what you did.”

Steve stayed quiet. He walked around your room, as if trying to find any hint of the evenings he’d spent there talking with you, laughing and enjoying him. There was no trace of it.

No visible one, at least.

The room was still a constant reminder to you.

“I’m trying to make it up I’m trying to prove to you that I’ve changed,” he explained.

“Why now?“

He picked up your old teddy bear. “Because I’ve been wanting to apologize for ages but I never get the chance to and I kept pushing it.”

“Uh huh.”

“But I’ve changed, and I am sorry and I miss hanging out with you—“

“You’ve been missing it for three years, then and with no trace.”

He cleared his throat. “and I’ve been thinking about it with this all happening I am scared of never getting the chance of ever… being friends with you again.”

“You really were a jerk.”

“I was seventeen.”

You chuckled. “So?”

“I was an idiot and I didn’t know better.”

When you are young you are assumed to know little or nothing about the world.

But you knew everything.

“Well I was seventeen too, and I knew better.”

“Please I just—look, you met the real me that summer.”

You crossed your arms. “No, I met the real you when that summer ended.”

“We both know that wasn’t me.”

“And who else then? Is there another Steve Harrington?”

He didn’t say anything and instead watched you. “That’s a new cardigan.”

“Yes, I buy new clothes.”

He pursed his lips. “What about the white one with the sleeves that I—“

The cardigan. The one cardigan he’d ruined, by drawing stars in its sleeves, terrible hand drawn stars.

It was still hidden, under the bed, with every other hope and memory he’d ruined for you.

He gulped, “how can I prove it to you? How can I get you to talk to me?”

“Why can we go back to avoiding each other?”

“You were the one avoiding me.”

You could not believe him.

“You started it,” you pointed it out.

“You were the first to change your home room, we were supposed to be there together,” the reminded you.

“And you assumed I changed it because of you?”

He pursed his lips.

“Maybe I did,” you admitted. “Because you looked away when I said hello and I realized I didn’t want to do anything with you.”

“If we get really into it, you’ve been avoiding me for much longer,” he said, “I did try talking to you.”

Right, when he’d broken up with Nancy.

“But you started it,” you reminded him.

“And I am apologizing.”

“I don’t accept it”

“Fine I’ll keep making a fool of myself,” he grinned. “and for my next act…”he cleared his throat. “Turn around.”

“No!” You quickly covered his mouth. “Not again. shut up, shut up! What the hell? why do you keep doing that?”

“Afriend did it and he has a girlfriend.”

“Who is this friend?”

He blushed, “Dustin.”

“Dustin? Kid Dustin”

“Yeah.”

“You’re taking advice from a—how old is he? Like ten?”

He cleared his throat. “Fifteen.”

“Steve Harrington is getting advice from a fifteen year old.”

He paused and took a deep breath. He chuckled nervously, standing up and putting his hands on his hips, he raised one hand. “Now, look— I now heard how it sounds.”

“No, that’s—that might work, actually. If you’re friends with someone like Dustin I might believe you’ve changed.”

“See? See! I’ve changed he’s my best friend!”

You took a deep breath.

He pulled out a pack of m&m’s. “Look, let’s—go hang out and you can judge it for yourself.”

“I don’t want to forgive you, yet.”

“I know your birthday is close, let me prove it to you until then, I’ll even plan you a surprise party.”

“Then it’s not a surprise you just told me. And my birthday isn’t close.”

Steve blinked. “Yeah well the surprise will be that you won’t know when it is because your birthday isn’t close.”

You gave it a thought, no you didn’t want to forgive him but the fact that someone as sweet as Dustin was friends with him could give you a hint.

“What are your plans then?”

“Well, I actually had plans to go watch the new Tom Cruise movie.”

What the fuck. He had the nerve to come into your room to tell you he had a date?

Which. You were not supposed to care about.

“Oh.”

“Yeah with Dustin, he hasn’t been okay, so I promised to cheer him up, he wanted to watch Star Trek but we both decided to watch Top Gun, meaning I manipulated him into thinking that he wanted to watch Tom Cruise so you can join us”

“Are you in love with Tom Cruise?” You questioned.

“Are you not?” He shrugged.

“I—you know now that I think about it—“

“No, no, you already said yes. Besides I know you’re going to love it. It’s a movie about planes and Tom Cruise and we will get popcorn and m&m’s.”

You gave in. Because what else could you do? He’d end up singing anyway. But it did give you a thought that would be engraved for a while. How can you resist him?

In the car, it reminded you of that one summer.

“I love this song! Turn it up!” You yelled as soon as Rocketman by Elton John played.

“You know Elton John?” He asked.

“You act as if he’s some underground artist,” you frowned. “As if this song wasn’t big enough when it came out years ago.”

“I—well,—“

“And I think it’s gonna be a long long time,” you sang along ignoring him.

“I was trying to—“

“Til touchdown brings me ‘round to find!” You sang even louder.

He laughed then, joining you. “I’m not the man they think I am at home.”

“Oh, no, no, no!” You giggled singing with him, using an invisible microphone.

“I’m a rocket man!”

“Rocket man!!!”

And it usually was like that when you drove around. Him singing along with you, with an invisible microphone and with off-key notes. Simple. And you never ewanted it to end. Because it was what made Steve and you… you.

And it was enough for you.

You knew better now, maybe Steve had been right about not knowing anything when you’re young. You knew nothing better than to… fall for him. And it was easy, it had been so easy. How could it not? Steve made it easy and then…

He threw it all away.

And you should’ve seen it sooner, Steve Harrington was never supposed to be yours. He probably was never to be owned. “However, I can sing to you.”

“Please don’t.”

“Aw, why not?” He chuckled. “Hm okay,” he mimicked a microphone. “Don’t go breaking my heart,” he queued you with the lack of mcrophne.

“No.”

“It’s your line, though,” he grinned.

“Why is this becoming a thing?” You asked. “Are you a frustrated singer?”

“It’s my dream, so please, help it come true,” he grinned. “Don’t go breaking my heart”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “I couldn’t if I tried,” you said, without singing.

“Oh come on.”

“Steve, I don’t like you.”

“Fair enough,” he sighed. “I really regret it, you know?”

“The summer? Me too.”

“No, that I don’t regret, I actually wish we could… live it again. It was our summer.”

“It was never ours, Steve, it’s but a dumb memory of two teenagers pretending that we weren’t from different worlds and then facing reality when we were back at school.”

“I was scared.”

“I don't want to talk about it, because then I’ll be reminded of how I just disappeared to you.”

“I did see you, y/n.”

“And ignored,” you reminded him. “Look, I’m fine, okay? I don’t… need this whole thing. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity.”

“Or regret, whatever you call it.”

“I’m asking you to forgive me.”

You stayed quiet. Awfully quiet for a bit.

“What happened to your car?”

He chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

“Would you believe me if I told you Hawkins is haunted by something? That there’s a world right below us, that it’s upside down and that it has several creatures, and one is a kid that once killed his whole family but someone it turned into a monster and now haunts the entire town?”

“No.”

He took a deep breath. “Uh, then I’ll just say I’m a terrible driver.”

You chuckled. “What?”

He shook his head to the sides, chuckling. “I’m telling the truth, but it’s.”

“Uh, sure,” you rolled your eyes. “You’ve been hanging out with kids for too long.”

“I… maybe,” Steve was uneasy. “Look, it’s… complicated but the earthquake.”

“Oh my go, you’re still going?” You shook your head. “Look, I’m--I never believed anything of what they said. About Eddie, or… all that crap.”

He nodded. “He was a good guy.”

“But you won’t have me believing about monsters,” you said.

He cleared his throat. “Can we start again?” He asked, “please?”

“Which part?”

“All of it?” He pleaded.

“Fine, but I’ll choose the song now,” you grinned. “Hey kids! Shake it loose together.”

He grinned. “The spotlight's hitting something… That's been known to andsoandsoandso-So, stick around!”

You laughed. “Don’t you know the lyrics?”

He continued. “You're gonna lala music, solid walls of sound, b-b-b-bennie and the jets.” There was a difference this time. You were seen on public. Going to the mall together, to the movies, where people could see you so there was a difference. It wasn’t a secret spot like behind the mall, or that one place in the woods. It wasn’t your room or the other secret spots you had found that summer.

You arrived and saw Dustin, who was already waiting for you both.

He was confused when he saw you.

“Is this a date?” He whispered to Steve.

“No, Dustin, you don’t bring trolls along on your date,” Steve commented, “besides, usually on dates, the girl likes you.”

Dustin turned to you.

“So, uh, I’ll go get the tickets and some popcorn—you both can… wait here,” Steve said awkwardly.

“Here’s for my-” You tried giving him dollars.

“No, no, don’t,” he walked away.

You watched him go and took a deep breath.

“Do you really hate him?” Asked Dustin watching your eyes glued to Steve.

“No, I couldn’t if I tried,” ironic, just like the song.

“Robin told me he broke your heart.”

You quickly turned to Dustin. “No, no, for a heartbreak to happen thee should’ve been some kind of… relationship or romantic feelings, and there were none involved.”

Dustin raised his brows. “Hm.”

“What?”

“Am I allowed to ask more about it?” He questioned. “Steve doesn’t tell me much. He gets weird every time I ask him.”

“I can get even weirder.”

“Why do you hate him? Or… almost hate him.”

You pursed your lips. “I… don’t, that’s the thing but I know he’s an idiot. I guess, in simple words, I don’t like him because he doesn’t seem to remember the summer I’ll never forget.”

“Oh, he remembers.”

Did he? Hadn’t it taken him less than a few weeks to forget you existed? Hadn’t he so easily gone to Nancy Wheeler? And didn’t it just all add to the… not-heartbreak, but whatever it was?

Watching him actually fall in love with someone, and realzing you’d just been… someone he found in the summer when some of his friends had gone.

“I know that he regrets it, just shutting you out,” Dustin said.

“No, I know he doesn’t, I’m always the one before the one. I’m a plot device, Dustin.”

He frowned. “Plot device?”

“A plot device is that one person that just thrusts the plot forward,” you turned to see Steve. “ I’m the girl who guys use to discover themselves, you see after me, a guy realized he was in love with his best friend, after me another guy decided he wanted to chase his dreams to get out of Hawkings, he came back to town two weeks later, but I’m the one person that people meet and then realize something that draws them away from me, I’m just a chapter in their book that is their wake up call or whatever. After me, Steve met Nancy.”

Dustin watched you. “That shit is way too deep.”

You chuckled, “Okay, maybe, yeah, sorry…” You took a dee breath.

“I think you should give him a chance, to be friends at least,” Dustin advised.

“At least?”

Dustin rolled his eyes chuckling. “Look, I don’t know this, and don’t tell him I said this, but I’m sure he’s…trying to get that summer back.”

“Oh he cant, that summer’s long gone, and I am too, he took it all from me, so this is what’s left.”

Dustin sighed. “I… well.”

“And why does he want it now? So he can ditch me again?”

Dustin shrugged. “That I don’t know. I just know he gets nervous when you’re around, he really wants to be your friend,” He licked his lips. “M&M?” Dustin asked. “Oh shit, I got brown, that means I owe you a song.”

“Hm?”

“Oh, sorry, Steve taught me that, the rules the m&m’s colors have.”

You chuckled nervously. “Ah, really—and what is each rule?”

“Blue is to admit something you’ve never done before, red is two truths one lie, brown is singing a song, green is a joke, yellow is a secret.”

“What about orange?” You asked as it had been the color you’d gotten.

“Oh, that’s just a quote from a movie”

So he had changed that rule.

“Huh, interesting,” you said. “Any more tricks Steve has taught you?”

“Well, he’s helped me with my hair,” Dustin admitted. “Hm, thanks to him, we used to not pay at the movie theatre.”

“Oh,” you laughed. “Really?

Steve walked back.

“Oh, er, then… May the Force be with you,” you said to Dustin.

Steve frowned. “What?”

Dustin and you smiled with complice to each other. “I’ll sing you your song later, or maybe Steve can do it for me.”

“Please, I cannot have him singing any more,” you begged.

Dustin rushed to the movie.

Steve walked beside you. “What was that?” Steve wondered.

You shrugged. “I got an orange m&m.”

He blushed. “Oh.”

“I have it here, still, haven’t eaten it,” you showed him.

“Oh.”

“You want to be friends again. Right?”

“Right.”

“You want me to forgive you.”

“Yes.”

“You changed the rules, so. Let’s change it for us, too, alright?” You said, finally eating the m&m.

wanna be tagged?

@jusstdreaaming @001andeddiearetodiefortodiefor @panicattheeverywherekid @jquick-18 @shivani1902 @andr3wsgf @osamiyaa @lilygreennn @iamwarrenspeace @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @arminsgfloll @fujiihime @noaplasma @bamiiq @awkwardnesshabitat @rdrickheffley @secretsicanthideanymore @visi0ns-of-vi0lenc3 @liltimmyst @pearlstiare @the-winter-spider

#august #steve harrington x you #steve stranger things #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n smut #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington ff #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington series

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harrywavycurly · 2 years

Text

*a/n Since I am a hoe for some sad angst and Lewis Capaldi’s new song has been on repeat…sorry in advance for whatever the hell you wanna call this I just had to like get it out lol*

I’m not ready, to find out you know how to forget me

Eddie feels his chest tighten as he catches a glimpse of you making your way through the crowded venue, he’s never been happier to just blend in with the people surrounding him since it allows him a little more time to get a better look at you as you stop just a few rows in front of him. He notices your hair has gotten longer and your arm has a few new splatterings of ink but he couldn’t quite make our their shapes, he smiles to himself when he thinks of the late nights spent talking about tattoo ideas while curled up on his bed. His smile falls when he watches an arm drape over your shoulder making you turn to the man who had suddenly appeared next to you, the smile you give him doesn’t quite reach your eyes as you slowly turn to look behind you. Eddie feels as if knees are about to give out as you look at him, directly in his eyes but it’s as if you’re looking straight through him. Nothing about your face would give the man next to you any idea that you once were madly in love with the long haired metalhead your eyes were locked in on and Eddie can almost feel his heart breaking inside his chest. It’s as if you didn’t know who he was, just another fan in the crowd at a concert you were attending and that’s when it hit him, maybe you’d finally forgotten all about him and your silly little high school romance.

I rather hear how much you regret me, and pray to god that you never met me, than forget me

You see him instantly, he was always one to stand out in a crowd even when he was surrounded by other metal heads you have always been able to point him out with little issue. You felt your heart drop to your stomach as you lock eyes with him, you see the hurt etched on his face and for once in all years you’ve known him you didn’t feel the need to fix it. Eddie was a walking, talking, living reminder of your past, a past that if someone asked you would admit you regret, and you weren’t in the mood for walking down memory lane so you just simply look past him. You felt the arm that was wrapped around your shoulder tighten as a set of lips placed a kiss to your temple as you continue looking around the venue. You could feel his eyes on you as you turn around and wrap your arm around the waist of the man next to you, the man who fell in love with the version of you that Eddie didn’t even know existed because it’s the version of yourself that’s been emotionally healed of all the wounds he had created over the course of your less than healthy relationship all those years ago.

I hate to know I made you cry but love to know I cross your mind

Eddie’s mind flashes back to the last time he saw you as he watches you sway back and forth to the music being played as the opening act got their instruments set up on the stage. It’s as if he can still hear the sound of your small sobs as you sat across from Nancy at Benny’s, you had no clue he was sat a few booths over getting a full on show as he sucked down a milkshake. He knew you were filling Nancy in on the fight the two of you had and how this time it was really over and Eddie remembers how his heart felt like it was breaking at the sight of your red eyes and puffy face but at the same time he figured tears meant you still cared and as long as you were thinking of him this whole thing was fixable. He was proven wrong as the days turned to weeks and soon he woke up to a box and a note waiting for him on his doorstep when he was leaving for school one morning. It was everything he had ever gotten you over the course of your relationship, Eddie felt like his world was crashing around him when he read the note and how you really were done with him this time. He figured this was gonna be like every other time, he gives you space and then you come back and he says sorry and everything is back to normal. He is brought back to reality as the lights go dim and the crowd erupts into fits of cheers and screams and he suddenly is very aware how everyone around him is having the time of their life while he is looking at the best part of his life be happier without him.

#eddie munson angst #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson boyfriend #Eddie Munson #stranger things fanfiction #joseph quinn #my little dungeon master baby #lewis capaldi

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frostironfudge · 2 years

Text

I Think I Met You In My Dreams Once - Bucky Barnes - Seven

Summary: After receiving an honourable discharge from his military service that was caused by the loss of his arm, James Barnes begins to come to terms with several things. He also finds solace in youtube videos, memes and on social media, where he happens to find you.

Pairing: Ex-Military!Bucky Barnes x Fem! Plus Size!Reader (Modern AU)

Chapter Warnings: angst, swear words, smut, fluff, discussion of bucky's arm, family dinner drama, protective!bucky, dom!bucky (i gave over control to bucky basically during the smut soooooo)

Word Count: 6234 Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Fic Masterlist || Main Masterlist || AO3 || Fic Playlist

Chapter Six || Chapter Eight

Bucky sighs at the lingering exhaustion as he sits on the soft worn couch. Winnie Barnes sets down a small tray of her trademark brownies and the scent reminds Bucky of a childhood untainted. Full of warmth like the soft steam from the tray that is cooling in the kitchen.

He loved how scents were a powerful tool for memory. How they would bring forth nostalgia from the depths of his mind.

Then his mother walks in, a soft scent of freesias from her perfume further takes him down memory lane. Swing sets, sandcastles, the soft dew drops from the grass he ran on pretending to be an airplane, hands abducted out wide. Rebecca laughing at his funny faces. His father nursing a drink, the scent of the harsher alcohol has him scrunch his face.

He inhales deeply allowing the gooey chocolate scent to overtake his mind again.

“Been a while since you came down to meet your old mum. You should stay the entire weekend more often.” Her voice is light but he knows she misses him dearly. He did too.

“Sorry Ma, work has been… hectic.” He says for lack of a better word than chaotic.

“And how is Y/N doing?” Winnie pulls his cheeks when he blushes.

“She’s great, we had our first argument/fight thing but we sorted it out three weeks ago. Been good since the past week.” He says with a smile.

“I’m glad you both worked it out. Becca was supposed to join in, too. You know how her thesis things go.” Winnie shakes her head, then shrugs.

He grabs a brownie from the plate and relishes the taste. Winnie just smiles at her son. Happiness finding her heart at his happiness.

“You’re happy with this long distance thing Bucky?” She asks after a moment of silence, “I know you’ve had experience with being away from family, this is different.” She glances at him with worry lacing her voice and eyes.

Bucky’s blue eyes soften, taking in his mother’s demeanour.

“I, it is hard. Somedays it is as if she stays the strong one for us and other days it is as if I stay strong for us, but most days? We’re equally strong.” He admits, placing the half eaten brownie on a tissue.

Winnie nods, “How is the trial going?” She gives a small smile, Bucky winces, forgetting he never told her to avoid her worrisome questions and having her stressed over him.

“Bucky.” She says using her mom voice, the very tone that had him admit he was the one who ate all the ten cookies left in the cookie jar when he was seven.

“Well, um, about that…” He scratches the back of his neck and then his fingertips graze over where the mounting plate was on his left axilla. All he feels is the material of his t shirt the one you bought him from the merchandise of Buzzfeed Unsolved.

“What is it?” Her brows furrow and he wants to kick himself, he takes a deep breath beginning to explain what occurred. When he is done Winnie is wiping stray tears from her eyes and his thumb wipes away the few that she can’t get too within time.

“So that’s it?” She asks, a hope within her crumbling.

“Ma, I’m still me, I don’t need the arm.” Bucky assures.

“I know, I just, it would be helpful to you, you participated for a reason.” She straightens the crumpled tissue in her hand, tracing over the damp splotches of her tears with her finger.

“I know, but I am leading my life without any issues.” He reminds her, she nods.

“You know I worry.” She explains, a watery laugh has her son engulf her in a hug.

“I hope you know I’m proud of you.”

“I’ll always try and make you proud. I love you.” He kisses her cheek as they pull away.

“Are you planning to visit her?” She questions as the doorbell rings.

Bucky rises from his place, smiling at the prospect, “I might have thought about it.”

“James Barnes.” Winnie grins, “What are you planning?”

“Well first off, Doll has sent you a bouquet ahead of our lunch/late dinner date with her.” He holds the beautiful vase of roses in his hand and Winnie raises a brow.

“Check the note.” He urges with a smile, this was all your doing.

Winnie touches the flowers and finds the note nestled into them, its typed out, she can’t stop smiling as she reads it.

Dear Mrs. Barnes,

First of all I would like to say thank you for agreeing to meet me and i’m so excited to finally meet you, Bucky speaks so highly of you and it as honour to meet the woman who raised the man i love.

I know this isn’t the most ideal way to meet you and get to know you but i want to look at it in the positive that there are more events of us meeting in the future which is why today we’ll speak only through computer screens.

i hope you like the flowers Bucky said you adore red and pink roses so i picked those, i hope i was able to make you smile, he says he loves seeing you smile it brightens his day and based on the pictures he showed me i can see why

Thank you once again, i look forward to our lunch-dinner also please remind Bucky to vacuum pack and send me some of your brownies he keeps teasing me about not being able to taste them.

Love,

Y/N

Winnie turned to look at her son, a beaming smile on her face.

“I think I already adore her.” She admits and Bucky’s smile widens.

“Told you, she’s just so purely loveable.”

“I can’t wait to meet her also, no more brownies and find out how can we send her som.”

His eyes widen, “Ma!” He says complaining.

“You’re the one making her feel bad again and again, no more brownies.” She says sternly raising her index finger.

Bucky🌻:

You cost me my brownie dosage. Mum revoked my access because of your note she loved the flowers by the way.

Doll🌸:

Serves you right. Tease. Now i get to have them and you get to feel left out. I’m glad she did, I hope they brightened up her smile like you adore.

Bucky smiles warmth encasing his heart. You were always so thoughtful. God he couldn’t wait to just pull you against his chest and keep you there forever.

Bucky gazes at your picture lovingly, then his brows furrow when he reads your text.

To say you were nervous was an understatement. Nat had been on texting standby and you had probably been the reason for her screen time to increase by tenfold.

Your latest message to her way full of worry.

You:

What if I say the wrong thing? What if Mrs. Barnes hates me? Oh god what if she thinks I’m not worthy of Bucky?

I’m going to have a meltdown, Bucky says she liked the flowers, but i just oh god what if the note was a stupid idea. It was wasn’t it? Why the hell did you not stop me?????

Nat, fuck, i think i’m going to throw up.

When your phone chimes you open Bucky’s text then freeze, you had texted him instead of Natasha. Fuck this device, fuck the fact that un-send does not exist on iMessage. Fuck.

Bucky🌻:

Doll, she already adores you so much, honestly i think after today she’s going to think i’m not worthy of you.

And she loved the note, adored it, she’s googling food courier services as we speak for your brownies.

I know you’re nervous, I was too, remember when your dad just stared me down for five minutes, I went into cardiac arrest.

And you remember what you told me?

You smile recalling what you had texted him from under the table. You even screen-shotted the conversation.

Doll🌸:

I texted you from under the table that imagine i’m holding your hand and rubbing soothing circles, that even if it’s intimidating its just two people who will come to love and adore you as I have.

Bucky🌻:

exactly so, i’m holding your hand Doll, and not letting go one bit during lunch/dinner, even if that means I can’t eat, lol, one arm problems.

Doll🌸:

James…

Bucky🌻:

Oh so you can make jokes about your trauma but I can’t? Unfair, unfair i tell you. This will be sorted in the court of Her Honourable Judge Alpine.

Doll🌸:

Bold of you to assume she won’t side with me, she loves me more.

Bucky🌻:

I’m her dad and she loves me most.

Doll🌸:

Right, right well, we’ll see about that Mr. Barnes.

Bucky🌻:

Getting formal are we?

Doll🌸:

Maybe or I just like to see you riled up, Mr. Barnes.

You giggle when the typing dots appear and the disappear, he’s trying to come up with a biting reply.

You kick it up a notch sending a voice note that has Bucky feeling his pants are very constricting.

“Mr. Barnes,” You’d dipped your voice by an octave, trying to sound sultry, “Have I caught your tongue? Or is it simply begging to taste something sweet?”

Bucky🌻:

Doll, you will be the death of me.

Bucky had to eat his words because just as he set up the laptop on the dining table doing a test call, Alpine jumped on the table and booped the screen and meowed at your smug face.

“I believe the Judge is in my favour.” You chuckle, cooing at Alpine.

“You’ve just bribed her with toys.” He huffs while partially true, only three of her toys are from you but she loves them dearly. Bucky directs Alpine off of the table and she gives his hand a playful bite and you giggle.

“Good girl, Alpine, my best girl.” You praise her much to your boyfriend’s dismay at the two of you seemingly pairing up.

“You’re just a sore loser.” You roll your eyes at him then straighten up when Winnie appears in the frame, nerves shoot through your spine and you stand up.

“H-hello Mrs. Barnes.” You give her a smile, laden with nerves.

“Darling, you have to call me, Winnie. Hello to you too, I’m so glad we could do this also I apologise we couldn’t do this at a timing more suitable for you.” Winnie sits on the chair giving you the softest, kindest gaze you’d ever received.

“Oh no, not at all, Bucky and I tend to switch around with our meals so it's not too bad, also it is just ten thirty. Not too late.” You reassure her and she seems to relax.

“Now is my son treating you right? Or do I have to ban brownies permanently?” She gives him a curt glare and you laugh at Bucky’s look of utter panic.

“Ma, why—,”

“Oh hush, Y/N continue.” She urges with a gesture of her palm.

“He’s treating me in the best way, Mrs. Bar—Winnie, sorry, um, I, he’s so respectful and kind, understanding as well so loving. Honestly I can’t believe my stars I found my way to him. It is just surreal.” You admire Bucky and Winnie smiles.

“No brownie ban then.” She pats his left shoulder.

Your eyes nor demeanour change in the slightest and Winnie finds a weight on her heart lift, you saw her son as whole. Not incomplete.

“Thank god for my manners.” Bucky says with a shake of his head, relieved. Then he laughs. You laugh as well.

“Well Bucky here sings praises of you and I can see why, tell me then about you and your family?” Winnie smoothes her hands over her jeans. Bucky never spoke about what happened in detail over the dinner that took place with your family but she could see he was slightly worried about your father’s opinion.

“What would you like to know?” You didn’t let your smile wavier, you knew the parent meeting at your house was less than ideal and given your dad caught Bucky watching you sleep.

Technically he was working while you dozed off but your father seems to have not taken a liking to the man who held your heart better than what your dad had over the years of his parenting.

Bucky sees the slight shift in your eyes, the rolling on your shoulders to not allow what haunted you to clamp down into your flesh and drag you into painful memories.

You flicker your gaze to Bucky and his own blue eyes that harbour your world harbour the knowledge about your mind’s current thoughts.

“How about where you grew up? Did you move around? We had too for quite some time till Bucky’s father passed away.” She says, giving you a second to refocus on the conversation. Bucky and you both notice the small twinge of nostalgia that grips her for a moment.

“Oh um, no we never had to move, we’ve always been here at home though my great-great grandparents hailed from another state but since my grandfather the family has called this place nine hours and thirty minutes away from Bucky, home.”

He takes his phone out to message you, Winnie gets distracted by the timer she had set for the dish she made for dinner.

You smile at him as she excuses herself. Your eyes glazing over at his message.

Bucky🌻:

i’m holding your hand under the table, giving it squeezes

Doll🌸:

i’m squeezing your hand right back.

You look up at him, he gives you one of his Doll smiles, named by Morgan. The ones only given for you, where his eyes crinkle at the sides and you feel it in your heart to erase everything that would ever cause that grin to fade.

“I love you.” He mouths.

“I love you.” You mouth back.

Bucky observes as the earlier tensions had left your body and now they had shifted into the drawing room while you chose to sit on the floor at the foot of your bed.

All three of your nursed desserts, tiramisu. Winnie had given Bucky the recipe so you could make it at home, your practice batch had turned out successful so this was your fifth attempt and it was really good.

Bucky was covering his face, cheeks tinged red. As Winnie told you the story of how he insisted on dressing up as a tellytubby for halloween when he was younger. She had to give him whipped cream mixed with food colouring to make the tubby custard because he hated actual custard.

What made things worse for Bucky was when she put on her reading glasses and managed to screen share a whole album of his images from childhood.

“How—you call me when the wifi router needs rebooting.” He seems taken aback but also proud.

“I asked Sam and Steve to teach me.” She grins smugly.

“I’m going to kill them.” He mutters and you laugh.

“Honestly you make a cute tellytubby, the blue brought out your eyes.” You give him some praise but the next picture has you doubling over and Winnie joins in and Bucky just groans.

Greeting your screen is Bucky Barnes, aged ten, halfway out of the costume, just the blue pants on, his face, torso and arms all covered in the aforementioned tubby custard.

“The pink just wouldn’t fade.” Winnie says between laughs, you wipe a tear, baby Bucky looks absolutely taken by the sugar rush, a dazed but focused look on his features. You raise your phone to snap a picture but they all grow blur because you can’t stop laughing.

“Alright that is enough.” Bucky warns reaching over and stopping the screen share.

“Hey! I want to see my boyfriend as a baby.” You protest as the picture disappears and then pout at Bucky, who only rolls his eyes at your dramatic tendencies.

“I’ll email the folder to you.” Winnie assures with a wink then as she glances at the watch she straightens up, “Oh dear, I’m so sorry, darlings, I did say I would meet my friends from the book club at three. I’m so sorry I kept you up this long dear.” She looks apologetic and Bucky watches as you shake your head.

“Not at all, I had a lot of fun, it is an honour to get to know you.” You smile, she returns the smile.

“Bucky go fetch my purse and keys would you in my room, check the drawers and cupboard if things aren’t there.” Winnie urges him on and once he is out of ear shot, you gulp, this is it, this is the moment she tells you to leave her son alone.

“Y/N, I, you know, when Bucky told me about you, I was elated that finally he found someone. When he told me how many miles and oceans separated the two of you I had my concerns. I still do, over what has happened over dinner with your parents.” She gives you a knowing look.

“I wouldn’t ever hurt him. I love him.” You say, voice cracking slightly, you’re still sure her next words will be of disapproval.

“I know, I could see it in your eyes the minute I walked into the room.” She gives you a warm smile, “He’s never had anyone look at him like he handpicked the moon from the sky and gave it to them. Only we see him as a complete man. Today when I kept my hand on his shoulder, you didn’t flinch, make a face or have any negative emotion. You see him as whole don’t you?” She looks hopeful.

“Bucky, he, he completes me in a way that I don’t feel a hollowness in my being. I don’t know how anyone can think he is anything but more than complete, so full of love and live. Honestly? He did handpick the moon and give it to me. Everyday with him feels that way. Even on days that might be hard for either of us, he still handpicked the moon for me. He’s I believe he’s the love of my life. No one ” You confess wiping your face with the back of your hand.

“Oh, Y/N, if you were here I would give you a hug. I absolutely adore you, ever since you cause the light to return to his eyes.” Winnie wipes a tear herself.

“I could honestly use it. Mum and I are trying to make dad realise his opinion is wrong. I’m, I’m glad I can make him happy and feel loved.” You say, blinking at the tears.

The whole ordeal had left a bitter taste in your mouth. You could only imagine how much more it affected Bucky. You had apologised profusely, he assured you each time that it was not job to apologise for the words of your father.

“Dear, convincing a parent is difficult, we had the same issue, it took my father a while but when the time came and George wanted to propose, my dad accepted him.” Winnie laughs at the memory then a dark look graces her features, it passes as quickly as it had arrived.

“I, I just want him to respect Bucky. He doesn’t deserve that, I told my dad off. I just wish I could undo that part of the night.” You admit and Winnie’s head turns to the staircase and Bucky sighs loudly, exasperated.

“How does your purse get lost in your own room, Ma?” He then chuckles and she shakes her head. You straighten up as well.

“Were you crying?” He asks her, you squeeze your eyes shut, his observation skills never failed him.

“No, just something went in my eye.” Winnie lies and you open your eyes just as Bucky graces the screen.

“Oh.” He looks at you and you shrug. He narrows his eyes. Deciding to table the discussion for later, he places you on the small cabinet in the doorway, as you both bid goodbye to his mom as she leaves for her plans.

You hold your breath, knowing he would ask or it would be something else. He walks upto his old room, placing you on the bed, next to his right side.

“Did Ma, say anything?” He looks at you sternly, you know he is watching every move, no longer Bucky but in his Sergeant roots.

You let out the breath through your mouth slowly, contemplating.

“If you’re thinking of a lie, don’t.” He warns.

“I’m not, she’s worried about you.” You confess, you could give him bits and pieces.

“She didn’t say anything to you right?” His hard gaze waivers for a moment.

“No, she, she said she was happy when you told her about me, she said she adores me. She’s worried over what my father said… over dinner…” You let that statement hang in the air, a week after the Sharon fiasco was the dinner with your parents.

You mother had been nothing short of lovely, asking questions making sure he was comfortable. Shutting down her husband with a small tap on his arm in warning if he became insensitive. He could only be tapped so much. Your mom couldn’t face Bucky for days.

He sighs, running his hand through his hair. You gnaw at your bottom lip.

“I told you and her, I don’t care about what he said. The only opinion that matters is yours, Doll. he can hate me, call me bullshit things. He should not have insulted you. It would not have prompted my response.” Bucky’s voice beings to go towards anger, his blue eyes flash with suppressed range.

You stand, no longer wanting to sit on the floor, and sit back at your desk.

“Bucky—,”

“Y/N, no. I’ve been over this before. I told him he can fucking say all that he wants to me. When it comes to you I tolerate no fucking crap. He may have liberties as an emotionally abusive fuck but that ends. It is high time.” He glowers.

You bite your lip, this had been a back and forth point, ultimately a stalemate.

You were used to the shit your father said to you but you tolerated nothing against Bucky not even a whisper on an insult.

Bucky responded exactly the same, he could take all that your dad dumped on him and more, but he would be damned before he allowed anyone to insult you even if it was your dad.

You both needed each other. Anchors, saviour angels, lifelines whatever title was given isn’t enough to eloquently cover what the other meant. You needed to feel him, more than his words, more than his heated gaze.

“Bucky,” You say again and he meets your eyes, his heart warming at the way the light reflects upon your irises. His anger slowly moves away. You move to your door, locking it then returning sauntering slowly towards him.

His blue eyes, darken, breathing deeper he watches as your top comes off, followed by your jeans. You keep your eyes locked in on him as the straps of your bra slip down your shoulders and he stops you by raising his index finger.

“Show me.” He breathes, cock hardening as you turn and the now dimmed lights of your room illuminate your skin. Soft curves needing his touch, his lips, him.

“Fucking gorgeous.” He praises and then you preen at the deep gravel, wanton timber of his voice.

“Every curve, dip, line and mole. Fuck, Doll—,” He groans as you move your hands over your body, tracing over your bra, pinching at your hardened nipples, a whimper from your mouth goes straight to Bucky’s dick and he might just come untouched the way you gaze at him.

Your eyes darkened with lust, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, he wants to lap at the bead of sweat that makes its way over your sternum. Bucky gulps when you take off your panties. The colour difference makes him groan, his own darkening as his precum stains his clothing.

“Need to see you.” You look at him settling onto your bed, legs spread. Bucky stands, ridding himself of all the confines that keep you from admiring him.

“Fucking gorgeous.” You praise and he smirks.

“Oh little one,” His voice sinfully deep, and these new headphones made him sound as if he was right next to you, whispering in your ear, “What am I going to do with you?” He questions, eyes raking over you.

“Anything you want.” You whisper and He needs to close his eyes to get a grip on himself. He traces your features again with his heated gaze, admiring how you become needier with just the way he gazes at you.

Bucky wants to get on his knees and worship you, because that is the only way he can thank his luck for allowing you into his life.

“Touch your nipples, through your bra, did you wear the pretty lace all for me?” He raises an eyebrow. You mewl as the touch sends shivers to your clit, arousal dripping over your folds and Bucky licks his lips, humming as if he can taste you.

“I asked you something, little one.” He reminds, you nod.

“Words.” he commands,

“Yes,” you hiss, twisting your nipple harder, “James.” You plead for more.

You hear his low growl, primal, watching you get wetter for him.

“Show me how wet I’ve made you.” He gestures with a nod of his head, your hand moves over your abdomen, touching the curves and dips, Bucky drinks the sight of you in, he held pride as you touched yourself, not your clit or your cunt, but when you touched your body, squeezing the flesh. It drove him wild, needy, helpless and he starved to do the same with his hand. Fell you, love you, touch you, fall apart inside you as you held him in.

“So fucking beautiful.” He praises as you gather your arousal and show him your glistening fingers.

“Want to fuck you with my tongue. Will you let me taste my pussy? You are so fucking sweet aren’t you? I wouldn’t leave from between your thighs for days. Have them tremble, shake, beg to close. But I would just keep devouring my pretty pussy.”

You throw your head back nodding, Bucky only smirks, “Go on, touch yourself the way you like little one, but I want to watch each stroke, each circle, and when you begin to fuck yourself onto your fingers.” He begins to circle his thumb on his cock, hissing at the contact he finally allowed himself. Your hips begin to rut against your fingers at his words.

“Yes, little one, just like that, imagine it is my cock, buried deep you can feel me everywhere, claiming you, marking you as mine.” Bucky pants, his hand moving over himself.

“Want to feel your cock, Bucky, want you to feel your pussy clench around your cock.” You mewl out, your hips grounding against your fingers you needed more.

“Fuck, little one, grab that firmer pillow, fold it.” He instructs, your walls clench at the loss. Bucky wants to swallow all those pretty little sounds against his lips. He watches you straddle the folded pillow, the fabric rubbing your clit so deliciously.

Bucky moves the laptop onto the desk, you can see him sitting on the chair, cock being fisted by his hand, his vein prominent and you grow wetter at the thought of how it would feel in your mouth.

“See this little one?” He gestures to his cock, your clit twitches, “All because of you. Know why I made you switch?” He rakes his eyes over you and you want to just combust.

“You want me to ride you.” You realise, slowly moving your hips in sync with his slow strokes to his cock.

“My little one, you think correctly, go on grind on that pillow, take off that bra, fingers on your nipples. While you ride me, I’d play with those gorgeous tits.”

Your stomach tugs at the combined sensations with his words, picturing it, his hand on your hip, setting the pace, his mouth on your chest. Biting, sucking, marking you as his, you moan as your orgasm builds,

Bucky’s hand moves in pace with your hips grinding down, your lips part, he knows your close.

“Will you cum with me little one?” Bucky requests, a groan of your name falls from his lips,

“Bucky, please—, need—, I” You beg, beg for something needing him to coax you to your orgasm, needing him to be the one that shatters you.

“Need you,” you choke out as the orgasm starts to build and his words get filthier.

“Fuck, Y/N, just a little more, need my cock in you? I’d fill you up, till you cum around me, dripping all over my cock and your thighs, you want that don’t you?”

Bucky and you moan in sync as the coil snaps, your orgasms shatter through you, both continuing the movements brokenly, watching the other fall apart with hooded eyes. Soft pants and watching Bucky’s cum coat his hand and abdomen you lick your lips.

“Want to taste you Bucky.” You say and he groans.

“Fuck, little one, you’re already needy for more?” He chuckles, cleaning himself.

You lay back against your pillows, hair sticking to your scalp.

You look down at his cock that twitches at his own words.

“Fuck my mouth, Mr. Barnes.” You challenge, he huffs a laugh.

“If you’re insatiable now…” He trails off, knowing he is growing hard again at the sight of you, fucked out, hair messed, eyes bright.

“If you aren’t leaving from between my thighs, it’s because my legs are holding you in.” You grab the very pillow used, your confidence in showing him what you wanted, touching yourself had grown.

Your legs wrap around the pillow and Bucky does a double take of the sight. Fuck he can’t wait to taste you. He fists his cock. You smirk at him.

“Insatiable, little one.” He teases, you bite your lip, anticipation thrumming at his next words.

“Get on your knees, pillow under you. Better not cum before I say so, little one.” He instructs, voice deep, bliss, needy for you. You whimper doing as he asked. Bucky stands, giving you a glorious view of him, fuck you wanted to taste him.

You open your mouth for him to see, oh you would be the end of him.

Both of you ruining anyone else for the other.

That evening, Bucky falls asleep at the dinner table. When he tells you how you had him spent, pride swells in your chest and his own. The two of you had come so far in this aspect of your relationship, being able to expose more and more of your skin and exploring all that worked for the two of you. Nicknames, types of touches, scenarios.

All of it, all consuming, burning bright.

The day after you were having breakfast and Bucky a late dinner. You had resorted to being in your room when your dad was out and about the house, Bucky was trying to explain to you to not give him that power but you couldn’t even look at him without feeling bile in your throat.

You’re mid bite with your chosen meal of cereal and Bucky is in between explaining how yet again Brock’s mounting plate is falling off when he pauses looking behind you. Your brows furrow, anger ebbing at the prospect of your dad yet again intruding. You turn mouth set into a hard line.

But you don’t meet the eyes that watched you grow up. You look into blue ones, but they are dull, lacklustre. Not the azure your heart contentedly drowns in daily.

You frown.

Then blink, wait,—

“You forgot me already?” The person says, your brain clicks.

“Who even—,” Bucky is cut off as the man pulls you into a hug. His hand tightens around his spoon.

This guy better fucking stop his hand from moving any lower on your back.

“Quentin,” You tighten your shoulders, moving away, looking at Bucky who might just discover teleportation just to punch the smug guy whose hands do not leave your arm even when you step away, again.

“Y/N, you haven’t changed at all.” Quentin Beck muses.

You feel a shadow cast over your door. Bucky looks right at your dad, jaw set. Your dad crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

“He better get his hands off of you.” Bucky growls and you shiver, moving away again and Quentin finally gets the hint, you move closer to the desk, trying to stay close to Bucky.

“The Becks are here to visit, I invited them to stay with us. Given how you and Quentin were joined at the hip, I think it would be nice to catch up.” Your dad gives a pleasant smile, but you don’t give any visible response.

Bucky’s nostrils flare, as Quentin ducks to wave at him.

“Who is this?” He questions an unabashed grin on his face, compared to Bucky’s scowl.

“My b—,”

“A charity case. You know her loves playing nurse.” Your dad says dismissively.

“Ah, yes, I was always patient.” Beck jokes and you feel venom pool your mouth, you swallow it down.

“He’s my boyfriend, James Barnes.” You say loud enough so Dad’s cheek twitches, a tell for his annoyance.

“Oh, hey man, I’m Quentin Beck, an old friend. Let’s catch up sometime over drinks?” He waves at Bucky.

You take off your headphones, Bucky breathes, once twice. Your dad watching and waiting for a reply.

“Im in New York City.” Your boyfriend looks to you, you’re on edge. Fuck he wanted to whisk you away from there.

“Long distance?” Beck scoffs, “Hard shit man, how long before you both started LDR?”

“We got together over long distance.” Bucky keeps his expression stoic. Understanding that this guy was someone who thrived getting under the skin of people.

“Oh, well that is something.” Quentin looks to you, “Join in for breakfast?”

“She’s on a breakfast date with me, so you will have to excuse her.” Bucky buts in, close to seething.

Quentin only smiles in response, something about it sets Bucky on edge as well.

“Well then, I will catch you later, since I’m here for a while.” Quentin closes in on you again.

Bucky watches helplessly as you go rigid.

“I’ve missed you little princess.” Quentin strokes your cheek, fanning Bucky’s anger then turns to leave behind your father.

You close your door quietly. Refusing to look at Bucky because you’re at a loss of words.

“I do not know what he did, but I am killing him.” Bucky’s jaw clenches and his knuckles are white with how hard his muscles are tensing.

“Bucky, he, he was my first boyfriend. He broke everything in me before leaving.” Your voice cracks.

Oh Bucky is livid now, “Your father knew?”

You nod, he clicks his tongue.

“Its on purpose.” He places forth his theory.

“Buck, I hate Quentin. I’m not going to get back together with him even if he was the last person left on earth.” You look up at Bucky his gaze slowly growing warm again.

“I don’t trust him.” Bucky states, neither man worthy of trust. Not one ounce of trust.

“I don’t either.” You agree.

“Come on, lets get back to breakfast/dinner. We’ll deal with that piece of shit later. One wrong move, Doll and I don’t care about anything, I will fuck that guy up.” Bucky’s words tug at you.

“You won’t have to cause I won’t let him do anything.” You assure.

“Even if not, that stunt he just pulled? Evading your personal space.” Bucky’s thumb bends the fork. Your eyes widen.

“Bucky—,”

“Just, tell me something to distract me.” He requests, continuing to eat his spaghetti with the spoon he had gotten for dessert.

You bite back an endearing grin, but he catches hints of it and his anger simmers into nothingness.

“Found that cute did you?” He grins, shaking his head.

“Absolutely. I find you very cute.” You praise and admire the red tinge on his cheeks.

“I’m not cute, I’m—,”

“Hot? Sexy? Devilishly handsome? Sweet? My everything?” You offer, deepening the crimson over taking his skin.

“Doll.” Is all he says but his smile tells you all you need to know, its the Doll Smile.

“I love you, Bucky.” Your heart always warming at your words.

“I love you, Y/N.” He says, causing your heart to somersault with his own.

He reaches out, touching the screen with his thumb to stroke your cheek. You lean you head, as though you can feel him.

Bucky finds his heart clench, he had to get to you beyond the confines of his laptop screen and city.

Dreaming about having you close was not enough.

Dreaming about meeting you, laying beside you, having you play with his hair as his rested his head in your lap.

It was never enough.

A.N: hope everyone reading, enjoyed this chapter! let me know! also thank you for reading! this fic is honestly my comfort space and i really enjoy writing it so much so thank you for reading and interacting!! 💖

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raayllum · 1 year

Text

Cube Hostage Exchange Theory :: End of Days

Because I like nothing more than to organize things accordingly and my brain needs something to focus on for the final few days before the season drops and we get answers to a lot of questions (or at least, a lot of the questions this theory has attempted to answer over the past two years) I thought, “Hey Dragons, why not do your best to compile and breakdown literally every single piece of evidence there is for Cube Hostage Exchange Theory, just in case you’re right and want something to fondly look back on?”

(And also because I know I won’t have the same motivation to make this post if I’m wrong, but making this post sounds like fun for one last hurrah for myself and the little CHET posse this theory has, somehow, fondly amassed).

So here it is.

My end of days, final presentation of Cube Hostage Exchange Theory (otherwise nicknamed as CHET), all that it encompasses, and all that it could inspire, what’s been added to it over time, and why I think it has a decent shot at being what happens in the S4 finale. As well as a little indulgent walk down history / memory lane for me because I started posting about it two years ago, and I do what I want.

What is CHET?

A theory that proposes the S4 finale / current climax with Claudia, Aaravos and co. will threaten Rayla’s life in order for Callum to hand over the Key of Aaravos, thus allowing him to fully break free of his prison and putting the world at risk as a result, specifically in holding her hostage.

I first posted about it on September 21st, 2020 (a couple weeks after Through The Moon graphic novel got released) as just an idea and then made a proper theory post about a month later on October 26th, 2020.

It is my little bonbon and I think it is very neat. As you can see, it was an exceeding simple plot structure modelled to be a finale or final 3 episode prediction (4x07-4x09) for the end of the season, with very little speculation of what would happen in the build up to it besides 1) Callum having to learn about Aaravos in order to know what he was risking and 2) Callum and Rayla getting a chance to hash out some of their emotional baggage even if they hadn’t wholly resolved it.

The original theory post itself touched on some concepts that will be repeated down below, such as the idea that the hostage exchange would ideally 1) not be Rayla and Callum’s first reunion, 2) the series’ intrinsic concept of Exchange, 3) why failure is necessary for Rayla but not a punishment, 4) how her lack of self worth manifests, and perhaps most importantly, 5) how Callum is always instrumental in breaking her cycles.

The theory has since grown to encompass many others as well as a plethora of evidence I stumbled upon, first accidentally and then with a more purposefully keen eye, in terms of foreshadowing, set up, and parallel / cyclical episode structures that TDP loves to utilize and has utilized before. Again, more on that at the bottom.

What made me first think of it?

Simply put, it just seemed the most straight forward route that would also yield the biggest dramatic consequences for character and for story. Post-TTM Rayla was racing right towards Aaravos without even knowing, Callum has something called a Key, Aaravos wants to escape his prison. Thus, it would give Callum a clear hand in how the plot would move forward and fit with some of the more dubious choices he’d made before. I also liked the way it could conceivably offer up a pathway for Rayla and Callum’s emotional arcs; for Rayla, it’d be an unexpected hammer to her own perception of her self and her self worth, for Callum to throw it all on the line even after she’d hurt him so terribly much; for Callum, it would give him space to be angry with Rayla but also room for a good old “Fuck everything else, I just want you to be okay” when it comes to like, offering us a strong reconciliation within the limited emotional time frame of a TV show.

Why Should Rayla Get Saved?

Rayla left in TTM because she thought Callum could handle losing her in ways she couldn’t handle losing him. This fundamentally comes down to Rayla’s self sacrificial tendencies veering into self-destructive behaviour (leaving at all) and her justifications for it being that she isn’t “good enough” to be worth fighting for / loving the way she loves others, as well as deeper issues of survivor’s guilt and possibly not feeling like she quite deserves to live and be loved.

Although I don’t subscribe to the “Rayla left out of pride” lens at all, even under it, Rayla needing to be saved seems like the most logical conclusion, otherwise how is she supposed to learn that she can’t do everything herself?

Rayla can’t succeed in her quest to stop Viren or to fully protect Callum, lest she think what she did in TTM is “ultimately fine” just because it worked in protecting him successfully. She also can’t single handedly stop the villains only halfway through the show. Therefore, Rayla has to fail, and likely has to fail at protecting Callum by the finale specifically, as that was her worst fear. Since she went to all this effort to protect him, the biggest form of failure would be if he ends up in danger at one point because of her. However, that’s precisely why it has to happen - and why it would also hammer that point in further if he’s also saving her while he does it.

Why Can’t Rayla Just Save Callum?

More recently there’s been an upswing in theories regarding Rayla being Callum’s guiding light out of his “path of darkness” (Callum’s promo quote) given the way the moon halos her head upon entry, her name meaning, her associations with Truth and the Moon arcanum over Aaravos’ starry deception. It is also more in line with what I thought S4 might be like pre-TTM’s release, with Callum getting in way over his head with something magical and Rayla having to help (alongside Ezran possibly) pull him back from the brink.

The light and dark motif now running more prominently throughout both their arcs is also, funnily enough, something I noticed and wrote a meta about close to five months ago back in June, which you can read the full thing here. It was something I had always appreciated about Callum and Rayla’s framing with one another throughout S1 and particularly S2 with Rayla representing the light. It was something I only started to think more on when I began to compile parallels between Aaravos and Rayla, including their names (“between light and dark” and “ray of light” respectively).

Thus, I do think Rayla will save Callum emotionally/mentally from Aaravos in some manner at some point in the season, as that’s in line with how she keeps Callum out of his head in S1-S3. However, the other half of that pattern is Callum saving her physically, and that’s why I think the light and darkness motif feeds nicely into what I’ve also penned as the Mutual Salvation Theory originally in August 7th, 2022, before we even knew Rayla would be returning at all.

The question then becomes: well, what is he going to save her from? To a certain degree it’s herself, as laid out in this interview with Devon Giehl (TDP’s head writer) and Michal Schick (a staff writer) regarding Rayla’s letter:

She wants to stay because she’s in love with Callum, she wants to leave because she’s in love with Callum. And I think that’s just kinda like - Rayla’s version of love is, at this point in her life, always gonna hurt someone, including herself. Badly.

The clearest way for this to manifest is for each of them to get a chance to reaffirm their love for one another and choose each other. Due to the symbolism baked into the trailer and the season promo, it seems pretty clear that at the very least, Rayla will be guiding Callum away from darkness at one point in the season. Thus, what’s left is for him to save her in an equally thematically and plot-driven way - thus proving her previous beliefs wrong, reaffirming his love for her, and pushing the plot along.

This dual “I save you, you save me” plot line is an add-on to broader CHET, as that would provide Callum’s turn of things. Additionally, I think Rayla saving Callum in “guiding light” way may happen before the finale, with the finale then focusing on him saving her, for one main reason:

The Moon Arcanum

Given that the season will inevitably talk about Callum reconnecting with Rayla and the foreshadowing in previous seasons that the Moon arcanum will be the next one he connects to, it seems like S4 is the most natural place for it. This is only reaffirmed by Callum likely being tempted by Aaravos, a great deceiver, as well as the way he’s obsessed with secrets and denying parts of himself / his feelings already in 4x01, and Rayla representing the Truth, the way she always has been.

If we go along that route, then there’s the question of what would compel Callum to connect to the Moon arcanum, especially if he’s off chasing dark magic somewhat this season. Again, given the thematic and symbolic set up already in store, it will likely be him admitting out loud to himself that he loves Rayla, and always will, thus allowing him to fully see past Aaravos’ deceptions (as far as temptation goes).

However, I do not think, though, that such a triumphant note can be where the season ends. After all, we know this era of the Dragon Prince’s world is known as the Return of Aaravos, and that the Startouch elf must be broken free of his prison by the end of the season. Thus, our heroes have to fail, and I think it needs to go one step further than just failing to stop Aaravos from getting out, but of actively helping him - even if it’s against their will.

So what would that look like, and why do I think it has to be the transfer of the Cube for Rayla?

The Cube

Paraphrasing posts I’ve made before but:

1) Without the cube being called the Key of Aaravos, it being the key to Aaravos’ prison would feel like it came out of nowhere. However, because of such a specific name, it is many people’s default assumptions and that feels purposeful. After all, if they wanted one or the other kind of associations, they could have said Hand or Eye of Aaravos, or Key of mystical sounding name here, but they specifically chose to put those associations together. The show loves to be cryptic and straightforward all at once, with warnings like “Draw your last breath” (3x07) being instructions to literally draw a breathing rune

2) One of the reasons I think the cube is related to Aaravos’ prison is precisely because it was entrusted to Callum by Harrow, the two characters most concerned thematically with the theme of Freedom through both their speeches, actions (Callum shattering the primal stone to free Zym, Callum ending Rayla’s cycles) and most notably his arcanum of the Sky. So you have Callum, who is tethered to the theme of Freedom, with a Key in his possession, Aaravos having some idea of how to get himself out of his prison if his machinations / guidance of Claudia and Viren are any clue, and Aaravos, who wants to be free of his mirror prison more than anything.

Larger meta post here as well as some very cool similarities the Key could have to the Egyptian myth of Thoth, god of knowledge, presenting a Key of Life to Osiris, god of the underworld.

3) The Key has been associated specifically with Rayla and her relationship to Callum above anyone else since the beginning of the series. Their first real bonding moment is her agreeing to go get it from the Banther Lodge, she risks her life to do so, and is routinely the other character (sometimes swapped in or sharing that role with Bait) that Callum discusses the cube with. Then there’s also the fact that ties into one of Callum’s consistent aspects of seeing worth in things Rayla doesn’t: appreciating Xadia’s magical nature with fresh eyes (1x05), seeing worth in the Cube (1x04, 1x05), and indeed, Rayla herself (1x05, 3x04). Rayla’s language surrounding the key is also very interesting, but we’ll talk about more of that in the next point, which is:

4) Back in early December 2021, I made a post documenting what I’d noticed of the consistent way the Cube was referred to as a game piece or Aaravos playing a game. (Just for frame of reference, this was almost precisely 6-7 months prior to Aaravos holding Viren like a game piece in the SDCC intro trailer).

Also keep in mind that Viren asks Aaravos once, and only once, if he’s playing a game. The rest of this coding is done through Rayla alone as a character: “It’s a toy. It’s piece from a children’s game,” “It’s a glow toy” and then “Are you practicing magic or are you losing a game?” which now seems like very overt S4 foreshadowing.

This also played into what I had noticed in terms of the likelihood of games and tests being intertwined, as they often are in mythic stories or folktales, and this statement from Aaravos felt like something that had to come back in some way (and already has for Claudia as a character, circa end of 3x09).

Playing a game (particularly chess) against Death or the devil for your soul is common and fit neatly together. The marketing for S4 has only reaffirmed this with lines like “They’re not games. They’re tests” from Soren’s short story.

Aaravos has offered a test of love to one pawn, in Claudia, first tasking her with reviving her father, and now stretching it further to see what she’s willing to do to keep Viren alive. Viren, who was already dead, just as Rayla comes from a culture in which she is already dead and seen as a Ghost. It doesn’t feel like a stretch to presume Aaravos will give Callum his own Test of Love to either pass or fail, and given that Claudia’s have all related to Aaravos’ main priority of getting out of his mirror, Callum’s likely will too. Especially since it seems like Claudia’s motivations for helping Aaravos may change drastically in S4... but more on that later.

What Does CHET Provide Narratively?

Arc 1 of TDP was largely concerned with “How can we fix our parents’ mistakes?” However, as the world grows more complicated and characters more complex as a result, it is likely Arc 2 will ask, “How can we fix our own mistakes?” This requires mistakes to be made, of course: for Rayla, the continual fallout of her leaving, and for Callum, inadvertently helping Aaravos successfully escape his mirror - and then more so by choice (or under coercion, depending on definition).

This ties into the way Callum often breaks Rayla’s cycles that she’s trapped in whether through her choices, circumstances, or both. By shattering the primal stone, he frees Rayla from her literal and metaphorical chain of her binding. He inspires Rayla to break the cycle in 2x07 and then does his one dark magic spell to break the chains that Rayla’s swords cannot. He breaks the literally circular pendant from Rayla (and Ethari), weighed now with grief and remembrance, in order to see her free to make her own choices.

Which is to say that Rayla is repeating all four of her parents’ most damaging behaviours and cycles, has likely come back with the intention of protecting Callum (with little to no regard to her own well being) and still believing in the idea that she has a price to pay in order to be happy, and all these damaging beliefs need to be broken. If Rayla is going to save Callum from making the full mistakes of his predecessor, in some ways, isn’t it only right that he saves her right back and does the same?

After all, let’s talk about

Paying the Price

This line from 4x01 immediately stood out to me in a major way for a few reasons: 1) this is the first time Callum has ever directly referenced paying the price in such a manner; Ezran (1 time), Rayla (multiple times), Viren (1 time), Harrow (multiple times), and Claudia (1 time) are previously the only characters to do so and Claudia’s is the one comedic exception to how the phrase is usually delivered. 2) It is also the phrase used in the season synopsis, directly asking the question of, “But where did this enigmatic Startouch elf come from? What does he want? And what price will our heroes have to pay to stop him?”

We know, of course, that they won’t stop him. We know then, that ultimately, there is a price they are not willing to pay to stop him. We know, thanks to the series extreme dedication to emphasizing agency, that they rarely let characters off the hook when it comes to making hard choices, for ex: it would’ve been so comparatively easy for Harrow to not know what Viren planned to do ahead of time to the egg and for him to find out after the fact, but instead we see that Harrow knew and approved of Viren ultimately murdering a child.

If Callum has the cube (or whatever Aaravos needs from him) just tricked/ conned out of him, it removes what would ultimately be the hardest choice he’d have to make. If it’s taken from him forcefully, he’s failed yes and made a bad choice, but again, removes the actual hand over from the equation. When has TDP ever not forced a character to make a hard decision, after all? To choose the harder path and be aware of it, or to pick a different path and convince themselves it’s the right one? Why would Callum and everyone else suddenly be let off the hook now?

And while it’s supplementary material, so we can take it with a grain of salt, but this also ties into how Callum’s Devotional and Liberty (highest) attributes are described in his Tales of Xadia bio:

“I value those close to me more than anyone or anything” and “I’m beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom” respectively

This also ties back to the perpetual trolley problem, if you will, that TDP returns to time and time again, with situations only getting worse and escalating when the dignity of an innocent or one life is disrespected and tossed over for “the greater good,” particularly without their consent.

Even after her growing bonds with Ezran and 2.5 seasons of character development, we see Rayla consider her choice to spare Marcos to be a mistake (circa 3x03 with Ethari):

R: I failed them. It was my fault we were discovered.

This is particularly true given that Rayla’s original failure was when she was on a mission to a kill a prince and king of Katolis, and she takes on a similar literal and metaphorical mission in TTM as well: killing / leaving one prince of Katolis (symbolically) by taking a piece of his heart (“My heart for Xadia”) just like the Magma Titan while setting out to actually kill a king of Katolis (Viren) that we know she will ultimately fail in.

Which is to say that the “You saved her life and risked us all” is an interesting concept the series has returned to, most particularly in Callum’s foil relationship with Viren. Their primary difference is contrasted starkly back-to-back in 1x02, when Viren offers up guards’ lives in exchange for Harrow’s but hesitates to offer up his own, whereas Callum offers up his own for Ezran’s without hesitation. Ergo, Viren offering up other people’s lives is decidedly shadier because he takes time to come around to offering up his own. But we already know Callum would die and bend his morals for Rayla.

Could he really bring himself to go through with his plan? What if he didn’t succeed? What if he compromised his beliefs and it all ended up being for nothing? […] But her blade bounced off with a clang, sparks flying. She reeled back and tried again. Nothing happened. She was in trouble. He inched towards Claudia’s [spellbook]. (S2 novelization of 2x07)

So him exchanging the cube would not be risking anything of anyone he’s not prepared to risk of himself, creating a messy but understandable justification, and it’d validate the hell out of Rayla’s own ‘original sin’ in sparing Marcos. Life and living is about more than just numbers and survival - and saving her, weighing her life against the world’s and picking her anyway, is not only a classic hero dilemma, but something that would carry a particular amount of weight in the series as is.

This also ties back into the series’ intrinsic concept of exchange, including but not limited to:

Killing Harrow and wanting to kill Ezran in exchange for Avizandum and Zym’s believed murders

Viren’s plan to exchange one soul for another’s with Harrow in 1x02 that was originally Claudia’s idea

Callum trying to take Ezran’s place to save his little brother in 1x02

Dark magic as an entire principle, exchanging the life of magical creatures for power or agency

Soren killing one king to protect another (3x09)

The entire goal of taking Zym back to his mother in the first place, in hopes that they can deliver a baby dragon in exchange for peace

So why not have that thematically continue through Rayla’s life being exchanged for the cube and exchanged for war?

But this is all more abstract narrative and thematic stuff with some cyclical analysis and nods towards characterization and arcs. Now it’s time to get to the real meat of the theory, which is:

Parallel Episode Structures

So TDP likes to do this thing, with Callum and Rayla’s arcs in particular, but also with the show as a whole, where they will repeat episode / character conflicts while steadily changing the circumstances and raising the stakes in order to reveal character and spur character / plot development. And they do this especially with plot structure.

Examples of what I mean: In 1x03, Callum chooses staying with Ezran over saving his father, and Rayla chooses the egg and princes and fights Runaan as a result. Both of them, unknowingly at the time, lose their adoptive fathers that night. Then, 2x03 and 3x03 each deal with the fallout of those respective choices they made, processing grief and regret over their losses.

Or, to get even more specific, I’ll offer up what I call the “Rayla saves a dragon quartet” in which Rayla wants to do something brave but dangerous / self-sacrificing in order to protect a dragon, Callum has reservations, and their dynamic steadily evolves to the point that he goes from worrying but not being able to do anything to jumping right after her. AKA 1x03 on the rooftops, 2x07 in the rain, 3x08 with the Dragon Queen, and 3x09 with Zym.

Or to get even more specific, I’ll offer up the “Rayla is trying to hide her own pain, Callum tries to get her to open up three times with her nastily rebuffing him each time, then she has a breakdown in the face of his unconditional love, and something bad happens to Zym as a result of them being distracted.” Am I talking about 1x06, or 3x04?

Which is to say, if CHET goes along with the “Callum goes too far and does something reckless / dangerous in relation to Aaravos, Rayla pays the consequence and gets taken hostage, Callum / the boys come to save her, he gets her out in a way she has understandable issues with, and ends with a note of ‘I hope it was worth it to you, putting everyone’s lives in danger,’” it will be a perfect inverse of 1x04. And we know 1x04 was written with an endgame in mind, given the mention of the cube being in the game room, as well as Callum saying things like, “You wait here, one minute, two minutes - however long it takes, I’ll go find a key.”

After all, much like they could have had Callum resolve to do dark magic in 2x07 without harkening back to his crush on Claudia to foreshadow his growing feelings for Rayla, there were infinite ways to write 1x04 that did not have Rayla being the one to find and risk her life for the cube. They could have easily had Callum or even Ezran stumble upon it, grab it, and have Rayla get caught looking for it or just not moving stealthily enough around the room when Amaya catches her. They could’ve had the boys go into the Lodge together with Rayla hanging back (as they’re human and wouldn’t have raised any eyebrows), but she can’t exactly leave without them, but no. The show chose this very specific plot structure, and we’ve yet to see it entirely repeat in full. And with 4x01 paralleling 1x01 very closely (Soren letting slip the king is in trouble, Callum wanting to help, king and high mage discussing Moonshadow assassins on balconies), and with 4x02 possibly paralleling Rayla’s return with callbacks to 1x02, I think this future repetition of 1x04 is only getting more and more likely.

Then you also have the ways that, if Callum transfers the cube - something magical and powerful, something he’s fixated on - and ‘sacrifices’ it for Rayla, it’s another perfect inversion to how he shattered the primal stone to save Zym in 1x09, thus unleashing a storm onto the world but for good reasons, and for a peaceful purpose. Again, if we look at Zym as one piece of the exchange for peace, then unleashing Aaravos in another terrible sort of metaphorical ‘storm’ is the perfect inversion that an even greater era of war and conflict is on the way.

The show has had smaller 1x09 parallels - Callum trusting Ezran rather than doubting him (3x07); Rayla almost going off the cliff to save Zym before she actually does so in 3x09; and in terms of Callum sacrificing the primal stone is a good example of how he’s let go of some of his 1x04 fuelled fixation for the time being. But they’ve also shown Callum repeat his old mistakes when he goes out into the storm in 2x04, in which he says, “I put us both in danger. I could’ve gotten Zym killed” yet “Worst of all, when we were right there in the centre of the storm - I thought I wanted this badly enough but in the end, I didn’t have the guts.” He still considers the worst part of the experience to be his lack of a magical connection.

Then there’s the way that post-TTM has lined up well with 2x07, episode wise. Again from a structural standpoint: Rayla feels compelled to do something, Callum wants to help her, she goes off alone, he hangs back with Ezran feeling helpless and frustrated before he ultimately goes after her, bending/breaking his morals and engaging with Dark Magic to do so. The big differences is that Rayla has gone from saying it’s okay if he can’t come with her to telling him not to, and that rather than resolve to find her on his own, Rayla has returned to him first. But up until her return, the structure was intact, so I’ll be curious to see if the second part of the episode comes true too. Possibly - in an alternative way - with Callum doing dark magic in general, or with him specifically handing over the cube.

If you are interested more in how TTM parallels 2x07 itself specifically, setting up a reconciliation plot structure for Rayllum in S4 reminiscent of 2x08-2x09, check out this larger meta here.

Orpheus and Eurydice Motif

So we know that Rayla and Callum are going to get separated thanks to this screencap from the trailer with two main options:

1) it’s a fakeout and they’re reunited shortly afterwards, finally reconciling, or 2) it’s not a fakeout, and part of the finale, 4x09, “Escape from Umber Tor” following the fallout of 4x08 “Rex Igneous” is about getting her back. Given that Aaravos has been compared to Lucifer and that “Umber Tor” means Shadow Tower, if Rayla was taken to a shadowy place high on a mountain or deep below the ground... It’s a pretty good Underworld allegory, and the show has given this to Rayllum before in which Rayla travels to their version of the Underworld, her Orpheus - a magically inclined artist per the mythos - goes after her, and unlike in the myth, he manages to successfully save her. Sort of. Since, as we know, the end of TTM still results in a tragic separation for our two lovers.

This is also similar structure wise to Rayla facing certain death in 3x09 by tackling Viren off the Pinnacle, Callum jumping after her, and his love for her unlocking new magical power so he can save her. Again, this meta of Callum and Rayla as Orpheus and Eurydice goes into greater detail, but I think it’s interesting it’s a pretty specific pattern we’ve seen happen two times, and now the question is if we’ll see it happen as a third. Especially since as the musical Hadestown paints it so eloquently

TTM has just been the mythic structure fulfilled both happily and tragically, with Rayla choosing — in many ways — both metaphorically and literally, in risk taking to go back to the Underworld. Callum is then reaching a double crossroads. Does he follow her down into hell, again? And in other ways, this is arguably the first time he’s being tested. For so much of s1-s3, and even in TTM, saving Rayla was a no brainer. Whatever chance he had, Callum had zero hesitation, zero misgivings. In his heart and in his mind, he had no reason not to.

Now, thanks to TTM, there is a seed of doubt. And just like with Orpheus cutting a deal with Hades out of love to get his wife back, Aaravos may cut a similar deal with Callum as his own Test of Love.

[ORPHEUS, spoken] Mr. Hermes? [HERMES, spoken] Yes? [ORPHEUS] It's not a trick? [HERMES, spoken] No, it's a test

Speaking of which, let’s finally talk about Aaravos’ hand in all this - as well as foil relationships and contrasts with Viren and Claudia.

Pawns and Kings

Once S3 wrapped up, I figured that Rayla and Claudia’s foil relationship would be amped up further, now that they had nearly matching white hair, and I always thought that Rayla’s paranoid and restless behaviour would return in a significant way prior to TTM. Now they’ve both destroyed their lives for Viren - Claudia to save him, Rayla to kill him - in the two year timeskip and are dealing with the fallout of those decisions.

While the Viren-Callum parallels going into S4 are massive, and are undeniably the biggest foil relationship this season, I think ultimately the conclusions on their arcs will be regarding their differences, given lines that Viren has said of, “We must be ready to sacrifice, even the things we love,” while if Callum picks Rayla over the world, he will be steadfastly and repeatedly rejecting that in his arc, while Viren may catch up too late that he has unintentionally sacrificed Claudia for his goals.

I went into more detail on it here a few weeks ago, but now that we have confirmation from a few reviews of the first four episodes of season four, it seems I was right to think that Viren is getting an atonement arc, regretting what he’s done and specifically what Claudia has done for him as a result of it. This would perfectly parallel the sort of Rayla arc also needs to have, of realizing the full weight and why of her previous mistakes and realizing she was wrong. After all, she and Viren are both “already dead” - metaphorically and literally, respectively.

Meanwhile, Callum and Claudia have been set up to have mirrored arcs as well, as they get pulled deeper and deeper into Aaravos’ machinations as his two latest pawns. We will presumably see him manipulate both of them this season in order for them to help get the pieces in place to release him from his mirror. Claudia and Callum have, in their relationships with Viren and Rayla, already had parallel Tests of Love in 3x09 - saving their loved one from the brink of death in a powerful display of magic - and are set up to have parallel Tests of Love regarding lies and forgiveness in S4.

However, where I think this season will end up seeing Claudia and Viren split from one another - her angry that he “doesn’t understand or appreciate” all she’s done for him thanks to his re-evaluation that maybe he should stay dead, his life not worth the toll it’s taken on the world and her (and that he’s right this time) - that leads the way for the finale’s Test of Love to be Callum and Rayla in so many ways, as Callum saves Rayla from being “already dead” - and he’s right to do so, even if it’s still a hard choice.

This would allow Viren and Rayla to be strangely ideologically aligned, Viren in a positive way for his arc, Rayla in a negative way in her arc, in believing that when Callum shows up that

More meta on Rayla and Viren’s parallels here, as well as Rayla as Aaravos’ inverse to Callum’s Viren.

Furthermore, this scenario gives all the characters place to work from in future seasons: Claudia can fall deeper into villainy now truly unhinged thanks to being “abandoned” by her father and as Aaravos’ next future pawn to discard (almost a la Ozai and Azula in ATLA, as Claudia has been compared to Azula by co-creator Aaron Ehasz in the past), Viren must work with the heroes who have no reason to trust him but to who he can provide infinitely valuable information, Aaravos keeps him alive in a “reap what you sow” esque punishment, Rayla can possibly start looking for her parents properly and will have a new kind of self worth, and Callum has a goal to reclaim the cube, help Rayla, develop his Moon arcanum magic, and defeat Aaravos once and for all.

Since, after all, Callum is the King that Aaravos needs to get out; the final pawn in this stage of manipulations.

Checkmate

More than a game of strategy, Chess is a game of sacrifice. I’ve played for most of my life and typically, games come down to making sure you sacrifice the right pieces (pawns) in order to protect your more important pieces, particularly your Queen and of course, your King. Aaravos’ relations to chess have been repeated over and over again, as well as Checkmate referring to him winning the game and getting out of his mirror by the end of the season which again, we know is happening this season.

If you are interested in reading more about TDP’s chess symbolism, check out this meta in which I break it down for the main cast of characters. Terry is not included as we didn’t know he’d be in the season before I wrote it, and as we still know very little about him, I’m not sure where I’d place him (although maybe as a Rook or Bishop or something).

Moreover, one of the most important rules in a chess game is that if a pawn reaches the other end of the board, you can swap it in for one of your more important taken pieces (which will almost always be your Queen if you’ve lost her).

And again, the chess metaphor works particularly well because in a game of strategy and sacrifice, Aaravos has to find the thing the heroes aren’t willing to sacrifice; the price they’re not willing to pay. Per the chess metaphor and characteristics of the pieces, although I considered other options as I went along, Rayla fits the characteristics / placement of the Queen piece the best and Callum as the King piece.

It is for all these narrative reasons and more that I think it is very likely that, if not taken hostage directly, Rayla will at the very least be what’s used to coerce Callum into having an almost equal hand in freeing Aaravos as Claudia (also giving her some wiggle room to potentially come back from, if she does it out of spite or if she thinks if she ignores Viren’s wishes and ‘fixes’ the problem he’ll change his mind, like she thought she could with Soren in 2x08/9 in some ways).

After all, if the emotional payoff of TTM isn’t going to be Callum looking for her, there still has to be a counter-balance / reason behind her absence. What better reason could there be than “I lost her once. I’m not going to lose her again” with his grief in the two year absence providing his emotional, plot driven justification as Callum does everything he possibly can to get her back?

Now, onto my favourite part: the foreshadowing.

The section is what I call the “this feels like direct setup” with some repeats of what we’ve seen before as well. The next section will be about generational stuff including parents, character designs, cycles, etc. The third section is stuff I think is possibly less likely foreshadowing, but I like it, so I hope it is, called “Be foreshadowing, do it for me.” Hope you enjoy!

Misc. Foreshadowing #1: Heavily Likely

Who the hell is Aaravos saying his “My return to this world is inevitable” and why Rayla is a real candidate to be who it is being delivered to.

Callum rejecting the cube in 2x08 when Harrow reminds him that he’s free VS Callum handing over the cube in 4x09 because Rayla isn’t

They said that, sometimes, we make sacrifices so that the ones we love don’t have to. It’s part of protecting them—part of protecting you. Taking on hard choices and going to dark places is an act of love.

Generational Parallels

If Callum is rageful against Viren, that cements the other half of the Viren-Avizandum intro parallel, as that is a moment in which Avizandum is not only separated from his child, but hunted due to taking away the love of King Harrow’s life, Queen Sarai. Just as Rayla is repeating Runaan’s cycles (down to her one silver shoulder pad design that is a smaller version of his), it would not surprise me if Callum began to repeat Harrow’s. If you want the in depth version of this theory, check out this tag here, but I think the screencaps speak decently well enough for themselves, don’t you?

Rayla and Runaan’s parallels are also particularly important as due to his stubbornness and duty, Runaan was taken captive by Claudia to be used by Viren specifically in regards to the mirror, and Sarai ultimately died saving Viren’s life.

There are also Callum’s parallels to Runaan to consider (down to the hostage situation in Bloodmoon Huntress) as well as Rayla’s parallels to Harrow.

Misc. Foreshadowing #2: Please be foreshadowing, do it for me

Rebuttals

Don’t have a lot of interest in discussing negatives, however as the theory gained a lot of traction in the past 3 or so months, there were some issues people had with it, namely: doesn’t it reduce Rayla to a damsel in distress, isn’t it predictable, and why would Rayla forgive Callum for this in the end, all of which I’ve laid out ‘rebuttals’ to over time. If you have for some reason made it all the way down here in this post while still having reservations, one of these metas may remedy them for you - or maybe not! Either way, I think they’re an interesting read.

Rayla is not a damsel in distress

Predictable

Why would Rayla be okay with this in the end?

Other Misc Thoughts

Romeo and Juliet comparisons (thanks, Viren’s VA)

The Way Rayla Has Always Been Set Up as Both Callum’s Salvation and Destruction

Rayllum’s parallels to Aaravos’ “Patience” story (which relates to their overall dynamic I think)

Callum and Rayla always liking/loving each other “too much” than is good for them / Callum as an Icarus figure (boy with wings who flies too close to the literal or proverbial sun)

Why the cube can’t just be positive / Why Rayla’s absence can’t just be positive

TTM / S4′s ATLA Comparisons and Parallels

TDP and Tarot: Rayllum as the Lovers and Aaravos as the Devil

Adam and Eve Comparisons

Alternatives

So let’s just say I’m wrong and all of this foreshadowing, meta, etc. has been for nothing? Cool! I had a good time writing it, theorizing with other people, writing my own fics, and immensely enjoyed reading other people’s fics regarding the theory as well. I have donned my clown wig before with far less reason to and with far less fun as a result, so I’ll have no regrets if that ends up being the case here.

However, and this is what I’ve always come back to in terms of wracking my brain and narrative for this theory is that even with less than one day to release, I have never seen an alternative theory that actually answers all the questions this one has set out to, namely:

What is the Cube?

How do Callum and Rayla ultimately reconcile?

How does Aaravos get out of his mirror?

At least, not all at once, and not in a way that offers up tangible arcs for characters past-S4 either, or in arcs that feel feel a little bit less effective. Now, if Callum loses the Key just out of his own foolishness, that means the finale arc is just a mad dash to try to get it back, which the team will ultimately fail at, but that almost feels like too big of a punishment for something he was so heavily manipulated into (I think he’d have more guilt over that than if he’d made an actual Choice under coercion, y’know?). If the key isn’t crucial to getting out, then why highlight it so much this season? If Callum’s finale arc is just about resisting temptation, than how does that lead to Aaravos getting out — isn’t that too positive a note to end on, and a bit too repetitious of 2x08 if it’s that simple, arguably? And again, it feels like this season has to start addressing the dark side of Rayla’s self sacrificial tendencies and start edging towards fixing them (ergo her realizing she has worth) since it was all those issues compounded that made her leave in the first place?

So perhaps our closing note is to say that, although it’s not as though there are no real alternatives to CHET, there are none out there that currently find answers for what to do with all the pieces on the board and how to achieve the outcome we know S4 is spiralling out to, and that is why for all these reasons, I am very hopeful and excited that I may be right going into S4, for each and every reason provided above.

Happy last day of hiatus, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!

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