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vikkirosko · 2 months

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Okay, I have an idea: Alastor, Striker, Blitzo, Sir Pentius and Andrealphus with Reader, who's from Royal Elite, but have quite different personality: kind, peaceful (although not afraid of fighting if it's the only choice), never shows elitism or prejudice towards others, willing to help others. Bonus if Reader very loves various animals.

Headcanons White crow among the elite

📻 Alastor x Reader 🎙

Alastor was familiar with unusual sinners. The aristocracy of Hell had nothing to do with him, just like with other sinners. You were the exception. You and Alastor met by chance. You literally bumped into each other on the street and, as it turned out, you had to go in one direction, so a conversation ensued between you. He quickly realized that you weren't a sinner, and that you were most likely an aristocrat

You turned out to be not what Alastor thought. You reminded him of Charlie in some way, except that you were more realistic than she was. You were a kind, sincere person. You judged people by their actions, not by their ancestry or social status. You knew many aristocrats who had high status, but they were cruel, rude and arrogant. It seemed funny to Alastor that the difference between sinners and aristocrats who were born in Hell was not that big, and your words confirmed it

You often visited a hotel where you and Alastor could talk in peace. He saw how you communicated with others with a kind, sincere smile. You liked being in such a pleasant, warm atmosphere, and Alastor liked the fact that he had the opportunity to communicate with you more often, thanks to the fact that you started coming to help at the hotel

Alastor was interested in learning more about you. You didn't look like him, but that didn't mean he didn't like talking to you. Your friendly nature helped him relax, knowing that you weren't hiding any motives. You were just there for Alastor, even though he thought you were too kind for someone who was born and raised in Hell, but he still felt comfortable and calm around you

🐍Sir Pentious x Reader 🎩

Sir Pentious knew that there were aristocrats in Hell. He did not meet them personally, because those who belonged to the aristocracy of Hell usually did not associate with sinners. When he met you, he was sure that you were just as much a sinner as he was. He liked talking to you and you always listened to his stories about his inventions

He found out that you were an aristocrat when you offered to provide him with a laboratory in your house. When you came to your house, he was really shocked. You told him that you were an aristocrat and you really didn't want to hide it from him, but you liked talking to him so much that you were afraid that he wouldn't want to talk to you anymore. Looking at you, he wouldn't think you were an aristocrat, but not in a bad way

You continued to communicate and sometimes you told him about how you attended various events that you were forced to go to as an aristocrat. According to your stories, he realized that the aristocrats were not the most pleasant to communicate with. You had visitors several times and he heard them talking to you. When he heard that they were rude to you, he wanted to intervene, but you always asked him not to do it, fearing that he might be harmed

When he started living at the hotel, he told you about it and you began to visit him there often. You were always welcome at the hotel, and Sir Pentious was especially pleased. He liked you, even though he hadn't decided to tell you about it yet. But you were both in Hell and you had more than enough time

😈 Blitzø x Reader 🐴

Blitzø did not like working with aristocrats, but worked with them when they paid good money. It was during his work that he met you. You weren't his client, but you were at the same party where he worked as a bodyguard. Blitzø heard how the other guests spoke rudely about you while you stood quietly on the sidelines. You obviously heard what was being said about you, but you didn't say anything until they started openly insulting Blitzø. He wanted to answer them, but you intervened, firmly saying that they had no right to condemn him

He came to you soon after. Perhaps if it had been someone else, you would have called security, but you remembered him and greeted him with a friendly smile, telling him that if he decided to come next time, he could use the door. He was surprised that you invited him to come back if he wanted to. There was no hint of compliance with social statuses in your communication, and Blitzø felt comfortable while communicating with you

You were surprisingly kind and you completely ignored your differences in social status. You didn't hide your communication from others and didn't come up with excuses. Blitzø couldn't help but notice that he liked it. He enjoyed spending time with you and enjoyed talking to you. Sometimes you talked about animals. You loved animals and you liked taking care of them, and he was happy to talk to you about horses, which he liked so much

He never thought that through work he would get to know someone like you. Maybe he liked you more than he was willing to admit. He would like to spend more time with you, and the fact that you could actually go on real dates without fear of being judged by others. You have never allowed statuses and other people's evil words to interfere with you and your happiness

🦚 Andrealphus x Reader ❄️

Andrealphus found out about you from his sister Stella. She sometimes told him about an aristocrat who greatly annoyed her with his character. Andrealphus was sure that his sister was exaggerating, but when you met in person, he realized that you really were not like other aristocrats. You were kind to others, you treated others as equals and judged others by their actions. Looking at you, he understood why his sister, who was so different from you, was angry

You were kind and attentive to others and Stella often tried to hurt you with words, but to her disappointment, you did not pay attention to her words. Andrealphus was wondering what you really were like, so he started chatting with you. He told his sister that he would find out something about you so that she could use it, but he didn't really plan on doing it. The more you talked, the more he realized that your kindness and sincerity made him fall in love with you

Andrealphus often invited you to various events, but only when you were in quieter places did you become more calm. You told him that you loved animals and that you would rather spend time in silence than attending another social event. You were like a breath of fresh air. You were sincere and real, which is why you stood out so much from the rest

Andrealphus had big plans. He already imagined what his sister's face would be like when he told her that he had decided to make you part of their family. It may not happen as quickly as he would like, because he has not yet told you about his feelings, but he was sure that it would happen

🐍 Striker x Reader 👢

Striker didn't like aristocrats. He often worked for them and saw how arrogant, selfish and cruel they could be towards others. That's why when he arrived at a meeting with the head of an aristocratic family, he was sure that this would be another murder order, but this time it was different. He was hired to be the bodyguard of the heir to the head of the family. He was supposed to be your bodyguard. At first, Striker thought it was just the whim of a spoiled aristocrat, but when you met in person, he was surprised. You were very different in character not only from your parent, but also from other aristocrats he met

Unlike other aristocrats, you were kind and considerate towards others. At first, Striker thought it was just a mask, however, watching you, he saw how you helped the servants in the manor, you treated them as equals and during the events you stood apart from the rest. Striker has heard other aristocrats say nasty things about you because you behaved inappropriately for an aristocrat. You were too kind, you judged others by their actions and not by their background. Striker couldn't believe that an aristocrat like you could exist. Even towards him, an assassin, you were friendly and caring, bringing him snacks, knowing that he worked hard and you were grateful to him for that

You and Striker began to communicate often. You felt comfortable and calm around him. He didn't tell you the details of his work, but he did tell you about the places he visited. You listened to his stories with a smile, and sometimes you shared with him dreams of starting a new life on a farm, taking care of animals and living a quiet life, away from intrigues and scandals. You both knew that your dreams were destined to remain dreams, but Striker wanted to take you to one of the farms he once visited so that at least for a short time you could be happy

Striker understood that he had romantic feelings for you. He had never felt this way about a person he had a working relationship with before, but he wasn't going to leave you. It wasn't just his job, but the fact that he didn't want to leave. Striker wanted to take you to the farm to see your happy smile and tell you about his feelings. He didn't know what you would say, but he was determined to confess his love to you

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel headcanons #Helluva Boss #Helluva Boss x Reader #Helluva Boss headcanons #Alastor #Alastor x Reader #Sir Pentious #Sir Pentious x Reader #Blitzø #Blitzø x Reader #Andrealphus #Andrealphus x Reader #Striker #Striker x Reader

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scenteddelusion5 · 3 months

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Yay requests open? If you don't wanna do this it's perfectly fine I understand!

It's an alastor x Fem reader who was his co-host in life

A Single Radio Wave

Alastor x fem co-host reader

Note: I love this idea!!!

Word count: 1977

The Radio Demon's reputation had spread far and wide in hell, yet it never spread beyond this retched place. Everyone in hell knew of the radio host, knew of his broadcasts and they were scared of him. Demons were intrigued and scared by radio's, they were the cursed items of that demon after all.

But up in heaven everyone looked forward to relaxing at home and listening to the old-timey device. After all, the Radio Angel's broadcasts were the hight of most people's already fantastical days. Everyone adored her, she was without a doubt the most loved angel in heaven; kind, sweet, intelligent, funny, witty, looks. She had it all. And yet, her amazing reputation never spread beyond the golden gates. This divide meant that neither one knew what their love was up to in dead. Still, they both looked back on their days together fondly.

It happened when Alastor's last co-host had been in an accident and they were looking for a new hire, that a knock came from the door. William, his intern opened it to reveal a charming young woman.

"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you but do you mind if I wait out the storm inside?" She asked and as if to help her cause, a thunder bolt struck at the top of his tower.

"Come in." Alastor walked up behind William and let the girl in. " We can't let a lovely young woman like you stand outside in the rain. Would you like a cup of joe? William was just making some."

"If I'm not intruding." She took of her drenched coat and sat down in a chair.

"Of course not." William ran off into the small kitchen while the radio host talked to her. "The name is Alastor, it's a pleasure to meet you." He held out his hand.

She shook it. "Y/n, Y/n L/n. And it's a pleasure to meet you too."

After William had left, the two were still talking at the table.

Y/n's eyes looked around the room. "So you're a radio host. How do you find it? Do you like it?"

"It's amazing, my dear. We have a few odd hours and I had to train my voice, but I quite like it." Alastor had been looking the girl up and down. She was very beautiful, had a good voice and they had an entertaining conversation. This Y/n had the potential to become his new co-host. "And what about you?"

"I... Was just fired today. My boss decided that a 'sweeter' face would pull more clients in. It's a dinner, what do my looks matter?!"

"The man sounds like a handful."

"Oh believe me, he is," she sighed.

"Hey," Alastor started, "how would you feel like starting a career as my co-host, the position just opened."

This surprised the woman. Female radio hosts weren't unheard of, however, they weren't at all common. There were also a lot of limitations put on them.

"I would love too but I don't think I would be any hood at it." She took a sip of her cup.

"I'm sure you'll be great." Alastor hyped her up. " How about you come in tomorrow for a practice round and if it suits you, you'll become a permanent employee?"

"You know what? Why not? I'll be here tomorrow." Y/n agreed.

" 7 am sharp starts the broadcast, be here at least half an hour before that. I'll see you tomorrow then, dear?"

"Yes, see you tomorrow."

And that's how Alastor had found his new co-host and future wife.

Not everyone was happy with Alastor's new coworker. Either people disagreed with having a female host all together or they were jealous that SHE was his new 'radio partner' as Alastor calls it. The man was considered a fine bachelor after all and girls all across New Orleans fawned over him.

During the first year of her employment, Y/n and Alastor grew closer and closer. Until one day, he popped the question.

"Y/n, I've known you for a year now and you are by far the most dazzling woman on earth. It would be an honour if you would give me the chance to court you." Alastor stared lovingly into her eyes as they lid up.

"Of course I want you to court me! You really know how to keep a lady waiting." She pulled him by the arm into a big hug.

His face adorned a bashful red hue while he brought his hand to pat her head. He truly was in love and it couldn’t feel better.

It didn't take long for him to pop the question after that and the two shared the news of their engagement to the whole city. Walking through the street, Y/n got a few jealous glares while on her way to her newly shared home.

Alastor was waiting on her in the kitchen making his mother's jambalaya. "And what was my favourite radio host up to?" He asked.

His fiancé, god he loved thinking about how she was HIS now, put a bag on the kitchen table and started rummaging through it. "You know that new shop that opened up down the street? I found this." She held up a little yellow romper.

"Dear, isn't it way too early to shop for baby clothes?" He chuckled picking up the small clothing article. "We aren't even married yet."

"I know Ally." She smiled at the very feminine and cutesy nickname she once called him and then just stuck. "But I'm ready, ready for our own perfect little family."

'Perfect'. Oh if only she knew, she knew what Alastor was up to while he was 'hunting'. But no, he will never show that side to her. He couldn’t imagine the look on her face, the heartbreak... No she was perfect and deserved only happiness and he would give her the world if she asked.

Their wedding was beautiful. Alastor cried seeing his wife in her wedding dress. They celebrated into the night and again when they got home. Alas, their marriage didn’t last for long.

During one of Alastor's 'hunt' in the woods he heard a bunch of dogs approaching. He ran and ran, and then, there was a gunshot.

Everything went white, then black and lastly red. Red? It was a sky. Looking around he saw a city filled with demons, he was in hell. Alastor saw his own reflection in a puddle, he looked different. His pretty dark hair and brown skin was replaced with red and grey, on top of his head stood fuzzy ears and antlers? Looking at his new appearance he wondered if Y/n would like it....

Y/n... Would he ever see her again? Probably not, she was perfect, his love would get into heaven while he was doomed to be away in this hellfire pit. But maybe, just maybe there was a chance she would be cast down too and if that were to happen, he had to made sure he was able to protect her. So, the Radio Demon was born. A demon willing to do anything to gain more power.

Years went by and Alastor thought about his wife every single day. Did she find out about his murders? Did she hate him for it? Did she become a cast out because of it?

After decennia of not getting a single sign of ever being reunited with Y/n, he gave up. That was, until the princess of hell got on television and told all of hell about her 'Happy Hotel' and her idea of rehabilitating sinners. It was impossible, still, his got told him to go there. Just in case. To prove to himself that he will NEVER see Y/n again.

Y/n was on her way back home. She was in a hurry knowing that her new husband would be home soon from his hunt. She was planning a surprise, having made custom baby shoes that had their names engraved but she hadn't been able to pack the gift. As she was running through the street, a car swirled. The last thing she remembered was the front of a Ford and screams.

Everything went white, then black and then blue. Looking around, she was on a golden pat that led to a golden gate. Was this heaven? Saint Peter was waiting by the gate and happily led Y/n in.

She had quickly found a new home in heaven; she started up her own radio show, decorated her house and made a few friends. Everything was ready for when her husband would join her but that day never came. Every day she laughed and joked around on the most beloved and popular radio broadcast in heaven and then went home crying about her husband and grieved the small and sweet family she would never have.

One day she was bold enough to visit the seraphim and ask about her Alastor. The answer that was given to her was devastating.

"I'm sorry but he doesn't belong in heaven."

That night, Y/n couldn't sleep, all she could do was cry.

Decennia went by and she had made peace with the fact that she would never see her husband again. That was until the princess of hell came up to heaven with the idea to rehabilitate sinners and the news came out about the yearly exterminations. Winners started to protest, most of them had family down there. What if they died because of heaven's heartless decision?

Y/n was haunted by the same fear. One night, she tried to sneak out to the golden gate and jump down but was promptly stopped by peter.

"Hell isn't a place for a lovely woman like you." He had said.

Y/n wasn't hearing any of it thought. She was determined to find her husband again. So instead, she started messing with her radio station.

"ALLY!!! PLEASE ANSWER ME!!! Please." She sobbed. "Please be, alive! Alastor I love YOU!!!"

That night, Alastor sat on the hotel's balcony reading a book when his microphone started acting up.

"A-..... M.... ase... v.. O!!!"

Strange. If it hadn't been decennia since he last heard her, he had recognized his wife's voice in the glitchy fragment, he, however, didn't. As he was checking his microphone, he got called over by Rosie and the other cannibals that were training for the battle.

It was the next day, Y/n pulled herself out of bed, changed and made her way to her radio tower. She had to use this broadcast to spread more awareness about the exterminations.

Alastor woke up that faithful morning from her microphone. A broadcast came from it, but he wasn't in his radio tower? And it was a female voice? His eyes fluttered open and really started listening to what was being said.

"It's a sunny day as usual here in heaven. A small chance of clouds in the late afternoon but those will be swept away fast."

Alastor knew that voice, he was sure of it. It was his wife, his beloved wife, broadcasting from heaven. He could finally hear his love again.

"On to the news! I think we all heard about it around now, but during the trail with Charlie Morningstar about the Hazbin Hotel, it came out that heaven has been exterminating the human souls down in hell. Your loved ones could be gone... Forever... Winners are demonstrating around the holy palace, come with us! Come down and stand help us stand against this injustice! I'm going and so should you!"

And she was fighting for him. She was probably so scared that he would be dead. He would do anything to find her again and if he had to fight heaven, he would do it.

The Radio Demon gained a new confidence that day from a single radio wave that made it through to hell.

The end

Note: I know that the fragment would be more than a single radio wave, it just sounds cool.

Masterlist/request guidelines

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel requests #reader requests #x reader #reader insert #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel radio demon #radio demon #alastor the radio demon

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damagedcoda6669 · 22 days

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how did youknow youbhad bpd? what were the main "symptoms" ?? soryif it comes off as personal or uncomfy you dont hsveto answer

(im rlly rlly rlly autistic abt bpd PREPARE 4 AN ENTIRE BIBLE ABT HOW I DISCOVERED I HAD IT)

ive exhibited symptoms of bpd my entire life (it usually starts 2 present in childhood or early adulthood, it comes from childhood abuse/neglect) i only started 2 notice something was wrong in my tweens/early teens, when malachi became my favorite person and every1 was calling me mentally ill and weird and obsessive. ive known my entire life i was neurodivergent (first started therapy at 6 or 7, diagnosed with bipolar + autism + adhd + depression + anxiety RLLY early on) but there was something else that felt wrong 2 me. at that age i didnt rlly know what 2 search 4 or who 2 talk 2, so i just went on google and searched "love disorders" and obsessive love disorder came up (which isnt even in the DSM iirc) and i posted on google plus saying i likely had that and was shot down IMMEDIATELY 4 "self diagnosing" so i didnt revisit it again until a few years later.

after my breakup in 2021 i felt like it hurt WAY MORE than was normal. i stumbled across a video abt bpd during that time period and it resonated with me way 2 much. im impulsive, i have angry outbursts, im constantly suicidal, i self harm, i have extreme mood swings, i dont know who i am and ive always just mirrored other ppl, i dissociate, i have black and white thinking, i view ppl as all good or all bad and i split, i have consistently unstable relationships, i get attached 2 ppl more than i should be, and i have a paralyzing, nauseating fear of abandonment. i have every symptom in the diagnostic criteria.

i brought up the possibility of me having bpd with my mom i think (i had no one else 2 go 2 becuz all of my friends abandoned me and my parents took away my internet access) and i was shot down again, with my mom saying the CLASSIC "(insert family member) has bpd and shes crazy. ur normal. stop pretending theres something wrong with u. if u had bpd u'd be vindictive and petty and evil. do u think ur those things?"

once i figured out how 2 get my internet access back, maryland dude forced the bpd label on2 me becuz he wanted 2 explain my "abusive" behaviors (he was abusing me but tried 2 gaslight me in2 thinking i had a victim complex and that it was the other way around) and i became uncomfortable with the label becuz he made it seem like if i had bpd then i was a bad person. i continued researching the disorder becuz it still resonated with me even though i was now insecure abt it.

i became comfortable with the label again after he abandoned me, and i brought it up with my therapist. my therapist would HEAVILY DENY that i had bpd, telling me that "if u had bpd u would be attempting suicide 4 attention" "u fit the diagnostic criteria but ur autistic so all of ur symptoms can just be attributed 2 autism srry" "ive had clients with bpd and if u were like them u wouldve had an outburst in my office and be yelling at me by now" and she would even smile at me whenever i brought up my bpd becuz she thought it was funny that i thought i had it, i think. the first time i brought it up with her she told me "its rlly irresponsible 2 self diagnose after reading liek two articles online abt some extreme disorder becuz u think ur broken. ur not broken. dont self diagnose with bpd" and i had to EXPLAIN 2 HER that i wasnt self diagnosing and that id researched it in depth 4 years actually and that she was making assumptions. horribly ableist towards ppl with cluster b disorders, this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG but i didnt switch therapists becuz i was still living with my parents at this point and i felt out of control in every aspect of my life 4 this reason, i didnt even see switching therapists as an option.

then in 2023, while i was homeless, i got evaulated by a psychiatrist. i discussed my bpd with him and finally got diagnosed. i told my therapist i was diagnosed with bpd and she said something like "well im not always gonna be able 2 catch everything" BUT I WAS TELLING U ABT MY BPD 4 MONTHS!!!!! so glad i dont have that therapist anymore but now i dont have one at all, so liek.. hrmmm >:c

im gonna end this by saying.. self diagnosis is valid!!! its so hard 2 get a bpd diagnosis becuz its so demonized and stigmatized, that even those in the mental health system r ableist towards the disorder and those who have it. diagnosis is not always an option with disorders like bpd, and thats so frustrating. its so hard 2 find help becuz every1 thinks ur crazy. but ur not crazy!!! i love all my fellow bpders, i know how agonizing and it is 2 live this tormented life. if u suspect u have bpd, the bpd community welcomes u and supports u!!! and i do 2 :3

#jack.txt #birdie #damagedcoda6669 #bpd #bpd awareness #borderline personality disorder #bpd vent

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blingblong55 · 5 months

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Vigilante shit -John "Soap" MacTavish

Based on a request:

HELLO. You said you were gonna close the request soon so I'm writing this. Okay so. I have this idea but I'm a terrible writer unlike you and every other writer in this platform so I need your help to make this come true but you can decline this if you want.Drug Lord!Fem!Reader who was caught by 141 after 4 years of hunting because she was involved with General Shepherd for illegal shipping (She's a courier like Valeria). She was being all sassy and cocky that 141 had trouble interrogating her. Soap who wasn't present when the others arrested her came to the interrogation room, and was shocked to see reader, his ex-girlfriend. Reader who was bright, sweet, and funny was identified as the drug lord. You made meth, sold it, and made a whole drug empire in a span of 4 years. When they broke up, Soap told reader that his job was too dangerous for her so they couldn't be together anymore. This triggered reader to be dangerous. With her degree in Chemistry, she started this dangerous life so she can be with Soap again. Reader is a bit messed up on her head but Soap never noticed, until now. When reader saw Soap again, she was so happy and squealed in excitement. She was the opposite of how she was when interrogated by 141. She was sassy and cocky towards them, but with her Johnny, she was like her old self before she became a drug lord. The rest is yours. Thank you for your consideration. I wish you a very great day. 😷 ---- F!Reader, chemist!reader, ex-boyfriend!Soap, drug-lord!reader, revenge, lovesick ----

A/N: I love this idea and it makes me get out of my comfort zone, so thank you for this anon

Guns ran through the air, white powder scattered on the cement floor. Thirteen soldiers holding guns all directed at you. "Put your hands up!" The lieutenant barked. And you did just that, standing from your desk and turning around, holding your hands up. What? Did they think men can be the only ones to play the dangerous game? What a surprise when a beautiful woman like yourself faced them. "You're Grim?" the captain would ask and all you did was smile, bowing in front of them. "The one and only, gentlemen." Shame that all these men forget that with beauty comes wisdom and oh you had lots of wisdom.

It had been exactly 1461 days since they started the search for you. It had also been 1681 days since someone tipped Laswell off that a new drug lord had entered the list. Valeria Garza, being your supporter, helper in making trails to transport drugs and a friend was the reason why you made a name for yourself so easily. Your past and present are all in a file. Photographs of you meeting associates, clients and workers all in a box and that same box contained that same white powder many want.

1712 days before, John MacTavish, your five-year boyfriend sat you down, and told you that it would be mean and cruel if he led you on any longer for his job is dangerous and he may never come back. You cried and he left, leaving you with nothing but pain and that stupid feeling in the back of your head where you needed to prove him wrong. Not always is danger away from home, it can brew in a lab and make a crown for someone.

So, without knowledge, Valeria Garza found her newest associate. She wanted to get into the cocaine business with a bang and she knew who to talk to first. The men and women in the field of science, specifically those with a chemistry background. You were smart, she knows that, so when she flew you to Las Almas, she gave you the throne to the cocaine business, as long as she had a cut of it. With that deal, you had to use that pretty head of yours to help her in another business. This involved a general, General Shepherd to be exact and he and his men wanted you two to help him ship his containers.

If you helped them, your cocaine would be exported without worry to important people. And within just seven months of you starting the so-called dangerous life, you made a life and empire for yourself. If men could do it in a year, you did it in almost half of that time and that raised alarms for many government agencies. Throughout the first year, Valeria helped you keep tabs on Soap, a man she would come to hate later on.

Time progressed and now, you are here, sitting in a chair, legs crossed and a smirk on your lips. "Who are you working with?" Price stands with the other two men, looking at you and all you did was clean your nails. "I work for myself," you say without looking at him or them. "Bullshit, you can't build a business this quick without help, so tell us," Gaz would soon say in a threatening voice. "Sometimes, the help is on your side of the field," you look up and smile.

"Laswell, she isn't saying much," Ghost told the radio. "Make her, you know how," Laswell's voice broke the silence in the room. Ghost nods towards his two teammates and he rests his gun on the floor. Throughout the interrogation, you kept giving them small signs that really, the helo you received were men who once worked with them but of course, you wouldn't say that directly. Not a snitch, not a stitch on that pretty face of yours.

It had been two hours and then the doors opened, Alejandro, Rudy and Soap walked in. "Where is she?" Alejandro was frustrated, he wanted his home place to be clean and the last dirt spot was you. Once you turn around, Soap's eyes widen, that sweet girlfriend he wished he married years ago is now under interrogation for numerous crimes. "Hi Johnny!" you smile and everyone in the room points guns at him. "You betrayed us!" Alejandro was about to push Soap to the floor but you raised your hand, like some school girl with an answer.

"What." Ghost awaited you. "He has nothing to do with me, no man helped me raise it, I got help until after it was afloat but he has never been a part of my reign."

Alejandro chuckles, "You want me to believe you?"

"Yes, or how else would I tell you the rest, trust me, he has no part in this, except for my plan."

"What do you mean by that?" Price would question.

"Oh, did he not tell you he had a girlfriend back home? That she has a respective degree in chemistry and he broke up with her because it was all too dangerous? What a surprise."

"Lass-"

"I should thank you, for being the reason I am this drug lord," you stand up and clap but Alejandro and Rudy quickly sit you back down. "Ruining the celebration," you mention. "Shut the fuck up," Alejandro barks. "Party pooper," you chuckle and he scoffs. "Leave us alone," Soap demands and before Rudy opposes, Ghost nods and leaves the room, the others following suit.

"R/N-"

"I see you kept the mohawk, Johnny-"

"Why are you here and what the fuck happened?"

Within three hours, you told him all, from the end of the relationship with him to the very hour 141 detained you. As he sat down and listened, you slowly persuaded him to be with you and slowly, that began to work. "You are under arrest," he begins and you shake your head. "What, you won't want one kiss to seal the deal?"

"There's no deal, lass."

"Oh but there is, for every soldier's name I give, you owe me a date in my cell and make sure it's a pretty one," you say as he handcuffs you. "Don't make me tighten the cuffs?" He warns as he pushes you to the door. "Why, are you afraid I might moan?" you chuckle and he stops walking, pushing you to the wall. "What have you done with my sweet and innocent R/N?" His breath hits your soft skin. "You killed her along with her heart, shame isn't it? The potential she had in a normal world, was a good thing she died or else I would've never survived. You should've attended her funeral, it was sad." you laugh and he shakes his head.

"You're crazy-"

"Crazy for you, Johnny."

A/N: I wanted to go for a Harley Quinn kind of vibe

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ms--lobotomy · 2 months

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I wanna smoke with Angron so we can get high and he eats me out

This one's for you and @undeaddream. I can fix him, (puts a bong in his hands) (sorry this came out on 4/21, the edible was sensational though)

Summary: You smoke a bowl with Angron to try to get the nails to stop hurting him.

Word Count: 1865 (oops)

Content Warnings: drug use, sploinkin' (nsfw), this is my first time writing Angron so I tried, blood, more "good girl" talk because I go absolutely apeshit over it, what I assume is rough sex, female reader so sorry if one of my lovely requesters is not a girl, I can write another version where you smoke him out and it doesn't get wild (like this at least)

Image Credit: @squishyowl (doubly tagging you because you did want an Angron fic at some point. Teehee!)

There wasn't much outdoor space in the Imperial Palace. You were situated on a bench big enough for Primarch or human, on the terrace at the top of your client's wing. It was far overgrown and untrimmed, it was clear that not many visited this area. The single moon of the planet was out tonight, tinged slightly yellow. There was a slight breeze, and you closed your eyes as you felt it on your skin. You had a job to do, the largest one you've ever had at that, but it was nice to be outside tonight.

"You here?" you heard someone bark from behind you. You snapped your head around to see none other than your client, a man--no, demigod-- by the name of Angron. Steel implements extruded from his head, and he bore a pained expression. Scars adorned his face and neck; the rest of his body was obscured underneath brass armor. He was accompanied by a few of his sons, helmed men equipped with bloodstained armor.

"I'm here," you replied, shrinking back into your flesh. He was large, very large. You'd heard of his temper; if you were to mess up even once, you would likely be ripped in half.

No matter. You pulled out your equipment. You had a bottle of water, a funny-looking glass implement, a fancy little lighter with an imperial Aquila on it, and a grinder full of a green flower cultivated on ancient Terra. You were one of the only researchers on the planet that dealt with ancient botany. You were told sometimes that you were one of the best, but if you were to come into contact with Angron, you were clearly more disposable than the others had let on.

He stared at your materials, coming in closer. "What's that."

"Oh!" you exclaimed. "The glass thing is a bong, and--"

"What kind of name is that."

"It's..." you started, your face going warm. Oh no. "It's just what the ancient Terrans called it."

"Do you think it'll help?"

You paused, and looked up at him. His eyes were garnet red, and he stared with an intense expression. He fiddled with his gauntlets a little bit.

"I'm not sure, to be quite honest," you replied. "But it's safe, and trying it will at least not hurt. Unless..." you paused, looking at him. "On second thought, you might need to take bigger hits than me."

"...You're supposed to hit it?" he asked, looking at the glass tool. As he wound up to throw a punch, you put yourself between it and him.

"Not like that!" you exclaimed. "It's how you inhale the smoke. See, you're supposed to mash up the flowers, put them in the bowl and burn them while you inhale."

"And this is supposed to make me feel better?"

"Well... maybe," you said. "It's not going to hurt you to try, at least!"

"If you say so," he sighed, rubbing his temples as you prepared the first bowl. You ground up more of the bud. When it was finally shredded, you put it in the bowl. You felt his stare at your side, but you didn't know whether it was at you or your equipment.

"Here's how you do it," you said. "You put it up to your lips, and inhale..." your voice became muffled as you put it to your lips. You stroked the lighter a few times before a flame came out, lighting the shredded flower on fire. As you inhaled, you felt smoke filling your mouth. When you felt like you couldn't bear it anymore, you exhaled.

"And... exhale," you said, a substantial cloud of smoke leaving your lips.

"Just like that?" he asked.

"You may need to inhale for longer, but yeah," you said, handing off the bong. "Here. Take a hit while it's still burning."

He put his scarred lips to the mouthpiece and inhaled, far longer than you could. He exhaled, a cloud more befitting of a man of his statue escaping him. His furrowed brows raised, and he nodded a little bit.

"Can you light it up again?"

You lit the bowl up as he inhaled again. This time he held it in a little bit before he let it out. You'd debated on telling him whether holding it in would do anything, but he would probably be okay... okay as he could be, at least.

"I..." you started as the pungent cloud hit your face. "I think we need to put more in the bowl." You gestured to the bowl, which was beginning to deplete. You looked up at Angron, whose expression was starting to relax further. After you'd taken a hit, you passed it to him.

The next few hours became a blur. You'd passed the bong between the two of you, getting higher with each puff. At some point, he'd pulled you in next to him, putting a heavy arm around you while you were smoking. You leaned your head on him, the metal cool against your flesh. Soon, one of you put the bong down between you.

"Leave now," he barked at his sons. They immediately turned around and went through the door at the other end of the terrace.

"How are you feeling?" you asked, one of his hands running through your hair.

"Not great," he admitted, "but better."

You looked up at him. His sclera were reddened, but yours didn't feel much. Despite how high you were, you'd been smoking long enough that this wasn't an issue anymore. He was looking down at you with something you hadn't seen in him before. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on. You saw him lean down to your level and plant a kiss to your lips. You put a hand to his armor and leaned in as he added his tongue, barely fitting in your mouth. He was rough, unpracticed. After a while, he pulled away, grasping for your hands. His expression was still stern, but there was a reverence in his eyes that you hadn't seen before.

"My Lord?" you asked, shivering in your seat.

"Angron," he corrected you. Even his voice bore the scars of his previous life, something you've all but heard of. He got up and knelt in front of you, still towering over you. He then went in again, his large hands grabbing at the fabric of your shirt. You let out a pitiful moan as you lifted your arms, letting him take it off of you along with your bra.

He bit your bottom lip, and you let out a little cry, grabbing for his shoulders. He wasn't gentle, and you knew that it was going to leave a mark later. He pulled back. A little bit of blood fell out of your skin, and he smirked. He pushed your hands back with his, pushing them behind your head as he bit you lower and lower, sometimes drawing blood.

"Be careful," you cautioned as he stopped at your nipple. He swirled it in his mouth as he looked up at you, grinding it with his teeth, but thankfully he did not draw blood there. He did the same thing on your other side, and you cried out, your hands tightening around his armored ones.

He bit your on your stomach a few times before he tugged at your pants. He shifted a little bit, hitting the bong with his knee and knocking it over. You looked down there for a moment. It wasn't broken, praise the Emperor. You raised your hips, and he pulled them off roughly, ripping them in some areas along with your underwear. He leaned over to snarl in your ear, giving you goosebumps.

"Good girl," he said, prying your legs open. Moans led to shrieks as he began to feast, roughly rubbing your apex as he held you down by the waist. He explored you as you came on him for the first time, trembling under his touch.

"Nngh... Angron..." you moaned, grabbing at the sides of the bench. As you were working your way up to your second climax, he pulled away.

"I may need to pull off my armor for this one," he said, peeling his gauntlets off first. You watched as each piece came off, falling to the grass with a loud thud each time. He ripped off his bodysuit, leaving the tattered fabric on the dirt. He was just as scarred over the rest of his body, scars trailing along everywhere. As he knelt down in front of you again, you absentmindedly touched one of them rippling across his chest. He grabbed your wrist, and your heart stopped in your throat.

"I'm sorry--" you started before he led your hand along the scar.

"This one was from right after the nails," he said, an almost-grimace on his face. He trailed your hand to another one. "And this one was--"

"Are you sure you want to get into this?" you asked, your other hand shakily finding its way to his face. He leaned into it, not unlike a cat would, and closed his eyes.

"You may be right," he said, his hands finding their way onto your shoulders. His grip was tight and rough, even this was going to scar you. "Let's finish the job then." He had a smirk on his lips as he moved his hands to open your legs again. You whined as he rubbed himself against you, before finally slipping himself in.

He immediately went in as far as he could, eliciting a little scream from you. "A-Angron!" you exclaimed as he pulled himself out before ramming himself into you again. Your face scrunched up in pleasure, and you grasped for anything you could reach before your hands trailed towards his chest.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you off of the bench and onto his lap. He sat up as you straddled him, pushing you on and off of him. Your eyes rolled back in your skull and your face lay against him. He wasn't gentle, you knew that you were going to feel it the next day. You came on him a second time, shivering as he sped up with you. He started grunting as well, a deep, guttural noise.

Not long after he came in you as well, twitching inside of you. You felt each twitch as he filled you up. He remained in you, but there was a little bit of white liquid coming out of you. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing your head into his chest as he panted. You wrapped your arms around him as well, but you couldn't reach your way around him. He ran a hand through your hair as you spoke.

"Are you doing okay?" you asked, your voice small and tired.

"Please, let's do this again," he rumbled.

You had done your job somewhat, but you weren't going to tell your higher-ups that you had relations while on the job. In fact, you might lose your place if they found out. Sure, you had the backing of a Primarch, but your superiors might still have a problem.

You ran your hands along his back. "Of course."

#warhammer 40k x reader #primarch x reader #reader insert #angron x reader #angron #warhammer lobotomy #i hope i didnt do him dirty lol #to be fair you both were on copious amounts of weed #HAPPY 4/20 YOU MOTHER FUCKERS

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insxghtt · 1 year

Text

any other man — javier peña x reader

She was already getting too used to it, but maybe he just wanted to be like any other man.

warnings: implied smut but nothing explicit, angst i guess, +18

idk what this is ok i have insomnia and this just came out of it. also, english is not my first language so i apologize in advance. tell me if you like it please, leave a comment or something if you want me to continue. i really have no idea if i am good at writing or if this was all just an illusion and in reality i suck at it. idk i am really depressed lately and i am doing mY BEST OK

She was used to it. Javier called her so many times in the middle of the night, desperate for a warm touch, she even lost the count. They didn’t talk much, but she still knew him better than anyone. Better than him, even.

Javier was one of her favorite clients. He was kinder than most men, always made sure she felt as much pleasure as he did. He also didn’t just fuck her. The first time he asked her to only sleep with him, she found it so fucking weird, even a bit creepy to be honest. After a while, she understood why. Javier was surrounded by a world that sucked all his energy. He couldn’t give himself the privilege of loving someone for free and put them at risk.

Still, he was a human. So, she did that for him. She was the only one he didn’t fuck every time he met, and she learned to like it. Sometimes when he was gone for too long, she even missed him.

Although, she was not used to him being so fucking cold. That night he was different, she realized it from the moment she heard his voice on the phone asking her to come over. Maybe after fucking everything out, he would go back to being the Javi she was used to, but that didn’t happen.

After he reached the peak of his pleasure, he lay down next to her naked body. She, with a soft smile on her lips, rested her head on his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes, their bodies still sweaty and hot. She looked at him, waiting for him to ask her to stay. Instead, all she saw was his cold expression.

“What is it, Javi?”, she whispered. He loved that voice, the accent, the tone, everything about it.

Yet not even her voice was enough for him to respond. She refused to give up, of course, and started to leave soft kisses on his chest. For a moment, he closed his eyes and tried to forget everything, but things were just not that simple.

“Stop”, he said while getting away from her and standing up. That was not good. He was not a very healthy man, mentally speaking. He was a fucking DEA agent, damnit. It would honestly be concerning if he was totally okay.

“Javi...”, she tried to speak, but he was quick to interrupt her by getting out of bed and starting to look for his clothes around the messy room.

“You should go.”

She laughed. Not a loud laugh, but a weak and low one, not funny at all. Nothing about that moment was funny. Still, she tried to joke. “So now you’re back to treating me like a whore?”

“I had a tough day, alright?”

“So now we’re back to square one because you had a bad day at work?”, she said calmly, still trying to understand.

Her accent, her fucking accent. He could fall in love with her just by hearing it. Except that this time, the words that came with it were slightly brutal.

“It wasn’t just a fucking bad day, damnit”, he sighed.

After finally founding his jeans, he put them on and searched for a cigarette on one of the pockets. After finding one, he reached for the bedside table and took his lighter.

“You’re home now, baby, you can relax.”

He lit the cigarette, but not even a long nicotine puff was enough to make him calmer. “Don’t call me baby, you wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for the money.”

“Well, shit, were you expecting something different? Guess you’re looking in the wrong place”, she laughed sarcastically. “You don’t have to ask twice, alright? I’m just doing my job.”

He didn’t answer, so she just stood up and faked a smile for him like she would smile for any other man. She got dressed without giving him a single look, just like she would do in the presence of any other man. Most importantly, after getting ready, she turned to him and extended her hand waiting for her payment, just like he was any other man.

He gave her the money. He always paid her, but why it hurt so much receiving it this time, she did not understand.

She turned his back on him and walked to the door feeling his stare.

“I killed a kid today”, his words were enough to make her stop immediately. “Fourteen years old. They told me I did the right thing. It still doesn’t feel right.”

She didn’t look at him, but she also didn’t move, like she was waiting for him to continue.

“Ask me to stay”, she whispered loud enough for him to listen, almost like she was begging for him to let her in.

How could he? How could he do that to her?

“I can’t.”

“I’m not asking for you to pay me...”

“I know.”

She would’ve, she wanted to. Hell, he wanted it.

“You know...”, she said turning to look at him again. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing his jeans, no shirt on, the cigarette between his fingers. God, she could stare at him the whole night if he only asked. “Every day I realize more and more how... dumb men are.”

Javi didn’t interrupt. He continued to pay attention to every single one of her words. Partly because he loved to hear her talking, partly because he didn’t really want her to leave.

“You build this world... this horrific, terrible and cruel world. With your own rules, with your own ideas, all of it just so you could be the ones to dictate what’s right and what’s wrong”, she had tears in her eyes, but she did not cry. She would never cry in front of him. “And at the end of the day the very same world you invented is the one torturing you.”

She sighed, swallowing the tears while watching the one man she always thought of as unbreakable, tearing up in front of her.

“If only you could see the real world behind the one you made up, you’d see that there’s no good or bad”, she gave him a sad smile. “Don’t worry, Javi. None of us are going to heaven.”

And after she closed the door behind her, he felt the loneliness hit him like never before.

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afrognamedfizzarolli · 1 month

Text

Helluva Boss observations and easter eggs you may not have noticed!: Pilot

The pilot is both a great place and weird place to start, as it is our introduction to the cast and world, but also no longer considered canon. Many of the events and details we learn/see are later confirmed in the series itself, but there were quite a few changes.

I want to start off with some design changes!

With Millie, she used to have white roots visible, this actually kept up for a few of the early episodes. As we know now it seems imps have two noticeable instances of sexual dimorphism: females have black horns with thin white stripes and naturally black hair, and males have evenly sized black and white stripes on their horns and naturally black hair. We see many trans or otherly gender queer imps that dye their hair with visible roots. I assume Millie's design was changed when that was established to be a gender difference in imps.

Her heart tattoo is also much smaller, and switches sides (an animation error almost certainly) When the pilot first came out I actually thought she had a heart on both shoulders.

Some stuff with Stolas!

We see his hand outlined with a red glow at one point, presumably representing his magic. While in the series his magic is represented by blue. This is most likely due to the change of his character as he was originally planned to be a villain.

Not a design change, but I find it funny that Stolas' name in Blitzø's phone is "Creepy Mouth (aka one night stand bird dick)". Surprisingly all being spelled correctly.

Stolas' Grimore! I actually only noticed this on this last watch. It was a darker blue(purple? red? It changes in different scenes) and instead of the moon design it has a different insignia of his that we still see throughout the series in various places (notably on his bed) it also has no design on the back.

Little details!

I didn't realize before either that the woman who Moxxie is trying to shoot before Eddie gets in the way, is Eddie's mom. I'm sure this is something many others picked up on immediately though.

Speaking of which, the human news anchor shown at the end bares a striking resemblance to a character of Brandons: a news anchor named Flint Dicker.

A poster of "THE AMAZING IMP SIBLINGS" is on the wall of the conference room. Showing Blitzø, Barbie Wire, and another character labeled "Tilla". This was changed in the series to just being Blitzø and Barbie, Tilla's design being slightly altered and then used for their mom.

Hazbin easter eggs! Oh boy is there a lot of them.

In the commercial sequence we see in the room of one of the targets a framed drawing of Sir Pentious

In the background of when Blitzø is interviewing a previous client, there is a billboard for 666 News ft. A photo of Katie Killjoy, I especially love this one as Brandon ended up voicing her!

In Blitzø's office he had a vision board labeled "BOSS GOALS" with 5 drawings, in the center is Blitzø labeled "ME!" Top left we have Katie again, top right is a duck with a top hat and two $'s, this assumably referencing Lucifer, bottom left is Rosie, an arrow pointing to her hat labeled so eloquently "HAT" and lastly in the bottom right there is a more detailed drawing that looks to be Carmilla Carmine labeled "Moxxie drew not as good" this tracking later as in 1.05 "The Harvest Moon Festival" Moxxie talks about Carmine angelic weaponry, showing a great interest in her business.

Next is a dumpster in an alley with various graffiti. Notably, a face that looks to be Nifty, "ALWAYS CHASING RAINBOWS" and "HAPPY HOTEL". There is also a sinister face labeled "DEVIL". Im not sure if this is a specific refrence to anything though.

Lastly, one that I'm sure almost everyone noticed but feel the need to include, is we can see Loona watching Charlie's performance of "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow"

Funny observations:

When the crew teleports into the church, we see maany people with some pretty detailed designs, I do not know if or what they may be referencing, but I have a strong suspicion it is something, my guess is that they are caricatures of some people who worked on the pilot. One person in specifically is wearing a jacket with a patch reading "WHEN YOU SEE IT" with a 👌

Signs! In the hospital we see a sign saying "WE SAVE LIVES" in faded text it reads between we and save "try to" and after lives another line is visible starting with "but" I cannot make out the rest.

Others show that they are in ward 13, the next room over labeled as 667, implying the room that Eddie was in is 666

A note is taped to the side of the fridge of the break room reading "LOONA DONT EAT MY LUNCH -MOXXIE"

Another thing I only noticed recently is when Blitzø sneaks out at the Goetia palace, he is naked except for his jacket, with the grimore serving as some creative censorship. (+Stella's beta design. I personally love her current design, but this one wasn't bad)

When Blitzø makes the comment about making Moxxie the employee of the month he holds up a small plaque as an example, a larger version of this same plaque, is visible on a wall in the commercial sequence.

While in their hazmat suits(idk if that's what these actually are), you can see the shape of Moxxie's bowtie under it

... and just Blitzø holding some targets panties, cause why not

There are a handful of other details, but I'm going to hold onto those as later on we see call backs to them. Also, I've spent a lot more on this than Id planned already, I have at least 3 hours on this one alone.

Please bare with me, I promise these will get more interesting the further we go in the series!

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instarsandcrime · 1 month

Text

A Lesson Learned

Hi hello! So when I was first writing this I thought 'oh yeah, turns out Lucifer is allergic to pollen and he was in charge of Eden that's funny haha time to make a goofy fluffy thing where Charlie surprises him with flowers from the Garden' and then it absolutely turned into hurt/comfort because apparently that's just how I write! I will be putting a trigger warning below as well because this getssss...heavy as to the reason of why he's allergic? Kinda? It seems to fit with the Hazbin Hotel theme and Lucifer's arc so it shouldn't be a problem, but I'm going to put it down just in case.

(Also a fun little headcanon from @glitterrosesnzz! Hey Rose, see if you can spot it ;) )

TW: Religious trauma/guilt

---

It started, unlike many other nights, as one of the most wonderful Lucifer had ever experienced.

Though the Hazbin Hotel was bigger and brighter than ever, the atmosphere at the bar was cozy and warm. Tight-knit, like the lavishly spacious walls never existed– instead a little pigeonhole made for his little girl and the family that followed her to war and back. And even when he stepped onto the top floor's balcony, the laughter he left behind followed on the summer breeze, spilling from the windows like an overflowing teacup. He leaned on its railing, eyelashes fluttering closed to listen to its joined melody.

It was just missing its lead chorister.

"Dad!" Ahh, and there's the lady of the hour! The demon king spun around to soak in his darling daughter, marveling at how much she’d grown. Her long, flaring black ballgown swept gracefully as she crossed the threshold.

"Charlie!” Lucifer beamed, greeting her with arms wide open. A giggle slipped from painted lips, and the princess lurched forward– before remembering herself and the hands behind her back. And all too suddenly Charlie had locked her stilettos in place, thick brows furrowed in concentration as she willed herself to not give her father a large, loving squeeze.

"Nope! Surprise first, hugs later." She stated. Lucifer was almost impressed, considering this was. Well. Charlie. He busied his hands instead with the twirl of his cane. Then, with much pomp and circumstance, dramatically drooped his lanky frame against its ruby red delicious handle.

"I dunno,” He heaved a wilting sigh, “I don’t think your ol’ man’s heart can take this much excitement! First you stop an extermination, then we start getting clients from all around the pride ring. But wow me some more, why don'tcha?"

"W-well I mean, it’s not much, but-- but Vaggie and I were talking, and between building like eighty percent of the hotel, kicking Adam's prick ass--"

"Language." The fallen angel teased.

"Kicking Adam's prick butt." Charlie rolled her eyes, still biting back a smirk.

"There we go."

"And you also, um. Want to restart a new relationship with me. That…really means a lot.” She swallowed, “So I, um, I pulled some strings with Emily, and I know you probably miss Eden..."

"...Oh..." Lucifer breathed. He felt his eyes water at the silky firework of colors that finally came into view. Not burnt, singed, or stained by blood. Not covered in poisoned barbs or snapped the air blindly with rows of teeth.

Flowers. Actual, honest-to-goodness flowers from the Garden itself.

"Charlie, I..." He huffed out a laugh as he stepped closer, taking the bouquet in his arms as delicately as a second child. "Stars above, they're wonderful!"

"'Stars above'?" Charlie stifled a laugh. Millenia-old angel lingo completely ignored as her father excitedly looked them over. Slit pupils dilated, shimmering like jewels. Sharp claws delicately pawing at each one like a slight breeze could rip their petals to shreds.

"Hah! I remember these! Oh man, what were they called? Carnations? Irises? I can't even remember which design I-- snff! Oh, sorry! Gimme a sec, Sweetie." He chuckled wetly, taking out a handkerchief to wipe away budding tears. But even when as dabbed his emotions away, he endlessly detailed each little part of his creations like they were precious cogs in a grand design, a universe he itched to re-explore.

"And roses! I've-- snfff! I've never created something so romantic at the time but…b-but…!"

Lucifer froze. Fat droplets spilled into small streams, shoulders shaking as his breath hitched. And all too suddenly, Charlie’s heart sank to her stomach. Of course, how could she be so stupid! He was an angel for so long! He probably missed Heaven, missed Eden, missed being a seraphim, missed--...mom.

"Oh please, please don't cry." Charlie took a step forward, hand outstretched, "I-I can take it back! Orrr give it to Sir Pentious instead? I’m sure he’d love it considering how much he respects–"

And stumbled ten paces back as a sudden, violent sneeze nearly shattered her eardrums.

"HET'CHMPH'HHhhiew!" Lucifer pitched into his handkerchief, petals and flecks of pollen scattered to the wind. A small bubble of silence filled the air before her father rushed to pop it with another burst of laughter, nearly choking as his breath continued to hitch desperately. "S-sorry Sweetheart, I didn't mean to scehh-scare you! That was- ...th-thah-hah-! HAT’CHIEW! Guhhh...that was louder than...than I…hhh…ex-expectihhhHHHAT'CHHHH! HAT'CHHHH’HEW! Hit'CHHHH'MPHHH! Snfff! Ohh..."

Surfacing again from the billowing fabric, Lucifer met Charlie’s stunned expression with a sheepish grin, a golden flush spreading from his cheeks to the tip of his nose.

"Are you. Are you allergic to…?" Charlie trailed off, worrying her bottom lip.

Oh, no. Oh, no, nononono he can’t disappoint her again!

"Nope! Nuh-uh! Absolutely not! Just a tickle! Nduthig to-- t-to...snff! Ugh, worry aboudt!"

"Dad?"

"Now where was I? Ah, yes! Roses! Ugh, they smbell so good but boyhhh…b-boy do the-thehh-theyyyISHHHH’HIEW! hhhHHH-! …HIT’SHHHH’HIEW! HITSHHIEW! Whew! Excuse mbe! Their thorns hurt...like....l-like...hhhHHH-! Hat’shiew! 'Tshhhiew! 'Tshhh! ‘tshh! li-lihhh-like adythihhh-hih-hih-HITSHHH! Snfff! A-anythi'g. Ugh. Sndff! And don't get mbe started on foxglove! What was I-- hhh! Wh-whuhhh-what was I thihhh-hih-hih-hih! Th-thihhh-thidki'g– IT'SHIEW!"

"Dad."

"Poisonous, Charlie! I made themb– ET’SHHH! poisonous! Co’be ond, they're so...s-so-huh! Hhhol…h-hold onnnNN'TCHHH'hiew! ET'SHHH'HIEW! ISHHH'HIEW!"

"Dad!"

"I'm fide, Ch-Chuhhh-Charlie! I really-- …I-- hih! I-I-- hih-hih! really amb fihhh-hihh-HIT’SCHHH! FIDE! I’mb fide!" Lucifer finally forced out, laughing between desperate hitches, "It's just, y'dnow, the sudlight's a liddle…a liddle stro'g a’d– hhhahh..! HATCHHH’HEW! HET’CHHHH’HIEW!"

"It's nighttime." Charlie crossed her arms.

"W-wait! Did I say sudlight? Hah! Silly– snff! Silly mbe! I mbeant the air's a liddle strong. The cold's affegtig mby ndose a bihh-bit-hit'tshhh! Hit'shhh-tshhh-tsh! H-hehhhHH-! HET'CHIEW!"

"It's summer."

"Did I say cold? I mbeant um-- uhhhh–" A bead of sweat rolled down his neck, and he sniffled thickly, "Y'dnow what? Doesn't mbatter. I'mb ndot allergic to flowers and– snddffff! and I'll prove it."

"Uh-huh." She took a cautious step forward. "By doing wha-- Dad, stop!"

It wasn't much, it was just a small sniff. But Hell’s Bells did it set off something awful. Come on, for fuck’s sake, you can control this! It’s just a sneeze! You’re Lucifer Morningstar! You’re The Devil! You’re all powerful! Immortal! Unkillable! You can mold the mountains with your right hand and oceans with your left! You’re…y-you’re…!

"Hehhhh-heh! Hhhh…relax. Do-d-do you really think I...I-I...snrff!" The ailing demon quickly rubbed at his nostrils with a handkerchief, desperate to satisfy the burning tickle-- silently panicking further as the pollen he'd touched followed suit. "Would go aroud Edehhhn...worki'g...worki'g with a creahhhtion thadt made me sn-sneehh...sneehhHHHIT'SCHH-- starsnotagain-- HIT'SCHH! ISHHH'HIEW! ISHHH! ISHH! 'Tshhh! 'Tsh! ITSCHH! IT'SCHHHH-’TCHH! …ihhHH-!...IT'SHHH’HIU!"

His cane fell to the floor with a sharp thunk, staggering back at the force of the fit. Feeling the flick of embers on the tip of his forked tongue, Lucifer let out another uncontrollable outburst, flames licking the metal railing. Slapping a palm over his mouth at the melted remains.

"O-oh goodness I-- HIT'SHHH’hiew! I'b so sorry Charlie, I-I didn't mbean to- to– IT’SCHHH'hhhiew!" He scrambled to weave the well-soaked cloth with fiberglass, pressing it to his face, a cascade of smoke and hellfire pouring into its fluttering fabric.

"One. Bless you a million times over. Two.” Charlie’s expression changed into something unimpressed. “To answer your earlier question…yes, I absolutely believe you would work through allergies."

"But! I! I-I..." Despite Lucifer’s suffering expression, his daughter swallowed the urge to sigh in relief as the Sin of Pride flashed through all five stages of grief at once before finally landing on acceptance. Watching as the fallen king ever-so-gently set the flowers at his feet and, like molding clay, formed an ornately-carved cloche over the holy gift. Then, silently, leaned against the undamaged edge of the railing. And cringed as he let loose a gurgling noseblow.

"Adgels don'd get allergies. Idt was jusd-- Oh for fugg's sagke hold on." Lucifer Morningstar, former keeper of light, might as well have reclaimed his title at the way his embarrassed blush lit the night sky. He inhaled again, deeper, and reprised his mucky solo. "Ahem! It was, um. A lesson."

"...What?" Charlie’s face fell.

"Yyyep! A moral lesson about pride." Fidgety claws scooped up his cane, tapping the heel on the floorboards. Gripping it tightly to keep them from shaking.

"I was young, y'know? I had a lot of ideas. And boy were they a lot in more ways than one. I loved making flowers. Chrysanthemums. Violets. T-tu...tulihhh...hih!" Lucifer sniffled, feeling the itch rear its head at the thought of them. He quickly dissipated the pollen still stuck to his gloves with a hearty shake and gave an another sharp blow, "Ugh, 'scuse me. You get the idea."

Inhale. Exhale. "I wasn’t exactly doing well in my father's eyes. I was doing too much. I was too much. So They ordered my brother Michael to curse every flower in Eden. They...I mean hey, they weren't wrong. At the end of the day, the stories didn’t label it as an endless paradise for nothing, hah!" One final, hollow, empty chuckle. It was getting harder and harder to keep his smile, he could feel his muscles pulling at the seams– how did Alastor keep the whole Cheshire grin shtick up every goddamn minute of the day? It’s torture!

"I needed to slow down juuuust a smidge. Think about other people for a change and how my creations might cause problems for others without realizing it. So the second I touched down in the garden I created, hoo boy! I couldn't– snff! couldn’t stop sneezing. Ughhh, it so humiliating! A huge damage to my– snfff! my pride. I mean for Heaven’s sake, the two mortal lives I’m supposed to protect got a full view of their guardian angel completely taken over by what? Some yellow dhhh…snfff! dust? I wish I could say I didn't deserve it, but I did." He stared down at his feet, "Sorry. I know you worked hard to get me those flowers– and it’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten, bar none! But I’m afraid I’m aller– …allerhhh….a-allergihhhHHet’shhh! Het’Shhh’hiew! h-hehhhh…” Shit, not again! The handkerchief was well past its due date and he could feel another burst of fire crawl up his throat and the itch kept building and building and–

“Ehhh…hhhHHH-! Hhhh…” Lucifer nearly choked on a gasp– tickle suddenly forced back when a slender finger pressed under his twitching nose. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief, shoulders slumping. Ugh, what a nightmare. Burning blush creeping down his neck, Lucifer was ready to spread his wings and fly back to his hotel room-- his palace workshop-- anywhere but face the disgust that followed. But Charlie needed him to change. He needed to change. So he steeled his resolve, slowly lifted his head and--

"What the FUCK!"

--floundered to grab the railing for balance. The princess of hell and queen of sunshine and rainbows suddenly surrounded herself in a wildfire of rage as she dared to chastise a moral lesson from God themself. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

“...L-language…?” Lucifer squeaked out and nope– that callback absolutely fell flat. But it was all he could offer as Charlie tore her hand away to pace in circles, charred hoofprints trailing behind her. Oh. She’s defending him.

Wait. What?

Oh, wow. That's uh. That is currently a thing. That is a thing that is currently happening now.

"--dare they just. Change their mind?!" Shit! Daughter in distress, snap out of it! Quickly shaking his head free of shell shock, Lucifer pushed himself off the railing, hands outstretched.

"Oh come on Char-Char, you know me. Sin of Pride over here! I needed to be humbled somehow! Hah!" His joking tone only fueled the flames, and before he knew it long, flowing locks were floating, flaring with every unsteady breath.

"Oh yeah, because making you suffer is tooooootally the answer! I'm sure you had plenty of time to bless their forgiving hearts between the seconds you were sneezing your head off!" She snapped.

"It was a different time Stardust, and the way anyone was ever taught--"

"And what, your brothers were just too good to defend you? To even try to see your side of things?"

"I-I was being a bit disobedient–"

"You were LITERALLY doing the ONE THING they asked you to do! Grow a garden!"

“It’s more– snff! it’s more complicated than that.”

“What do you mean ‘more complicated’?! Why are you taking their side? Heaven did something awful to you!”

“I’m not– they were just trying to– I wasn’t–!” He practically pulled his mind through a labyrinth of dusty closets, forcing open memories with triple locks to find a single shred of an excuse– only to find each one empty. “There’s paperwork! Permission! Rules! A-and sure I did my best to follow them, but as always I got carried away– I deserved it–”

“Never say that again! Never, ever say that again! You never deserved what happened to you!”

Lucifer’s words died in his throat.

“You shouldn’t have to hide behind jokes because you feel guilty for having a dream, Okay?!” Charlie threw her hands up in exasperation, a strange concoction of extreme love and kindness at the loudest volume she could muster.

“O-okay???” Lucifer stuttered out.

“Good!”

“Goo-good!”

Satisfied, Charlie exhaled sharply, stomping over to the railing to sit down at its melted edge. Legs dangling above the skyline, lights twinkling like blossoming stars beneath her hooves. The tense silence only lasted a minute– shattering with the clink of glass, a sweet smell following suit. Then slowly, carefully, Lucifer sat beside her. Twisting thin, emerald stems between his claws. He nervously glanced her way. Then down at his lap. Then back to her. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.

“Sorry, Dad.” Charlie murmured, “I didn’t mean to yell.”

Her oncoming spiral of apologies was cut short when a lily snaked into her hair, delicately tucked behind her ear. It was a small action, but…

She smiled, leaning into her father’s touch as he began to weave the bouquet into a long, silky braid.

“It would be a waste to ruin such a nice– snff! Nice offering, wouldn’t it?” The King of Hell muttered from behind. Charlie hummed a soft note as she leaned into the touch, claws gently scraping against her scalp as he worked, forked tongue slightly sticking out as he concentrated.

“Thank you. For, um. Sndfff! Ugh, sorry. For being patient with…with mbe– hih! Hit’schh’hew! ‘Tshhew! Nhh…” She could feel a sudden jolt as he twisted his torso to the side.

“Of course.” Charlie pat his hand. She would admonish her new resident for pushing himself, but as the resident rehabilitation expert, she’d let this one time slide. For now.

A brief pause as Lucifer made the finishing touches on her new hairdo– a tapestry of pale thread and an aurora of watercolors. His own little garden. She turned around to see a nose already twitching, cringing when nothing came from a sniffle, too blocked up by 'yellow dust'. Desperate to find some other way to breathe, he opened his mouth, tongue flicking out.

“Guhh…bedder show Vaggie your ndew look before I start ubp agaihhh...! Heh-!...hhhehh...HET'TCHH'hiew...'Tchhew! HET'CHHIEW! Het'SHHHIEW! HETSCHHHIEW! Heh-heh-heh-! hheh...hhhh...hooo...good golly, I-- I'mb so ssssorry–” Lucifer froze, slapping his hands over his mouth at the loud, uncontrollable hiss. Burying his face in the freshly conjured fabric, he prayed the damn thing would swallow him whole.

Frozen when two arms embraced him, adding a tight squeeze for good measure.

“I know this is kinda out of the blue, but I just wanted to say it again. Thanks for protecting me.” A soothing voice met his ears, “I mean it. Seriously. I couldn’t have done all this without you.”

Handkerchief still pressed to his face, he lifted his head, trying– and failing– to hide a sly grin. “You know, this whole allergy thigg wasn'd all bad. Whed your mom foudd out thadt Mbichael cursed every flower I’d mbade, she called for his guidance.”

“Oh, really? What’d she tell him?” Charlie raised a brow.

“Let’s see, I think it went sombethi'g like this.” Lucifer set the stage, wiggling his fingers for emphasis. “Saint Mbichael floated down frub the heavens, holy light shining above. He landed softly and delicately, armbs spread. He said the usual line, you know the one. 'Oh Lilith, Child of The Garden, blah blah blah.” He took a deep breath. “She looked himb in the eye. Grabbed his collar. And– snfff! And then punched himb right in the face. He’d graced every adgel’s presence with a bruised ndose for a week. She called it a mboral lesson in tolerance.”

And then resisted the urge to let out a victorious whoop as finally, finally, Charlie began to laugh.

#ha//zb//in//ho//tel//#snz #snz fic #lu/ci/fer #char/lie

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onboardsorasora · 6 months

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Renovation AU

Ok I tried to stop but I couldn't stop thinking about Renovation AU (especially considering I was literally going to write it then got derailed by Enchated AU: Christmas). And then when I wrote this little snippet it was like floodgates. so here it is Renovation AU in all its outline glory all 2k words of it 🥴🥴🥴I'll just put it under the cut

Max is a handyman/contractor. I know I know. We know how his hammer skills are and how he looks holding it and an axe. But let's just pretend he actually learned this skill and he's fucking hot about it and it triggers every competency kink.

He's built, he was able to grow into his stockiness and he's strong (I'm thinking like that tree splitting tiktok guy but not as Thor thick)

Christian hires Nyck as an interior designer and Nyck hires on Max and his small team. They get shit done. Geri wants to redo the whole cottage and they have until the start of the riding season? to get it done. (Don't question me. I know nothing about riding)

So anyways– they’re behind and Christian doesn’t think Nyck can manage the scope of the job so he fires him and hires on Daniel. Daniel’s a little bit more eclectic than Nyck– but he came highly recommended by Lewis and Seb and Geri loved what he did with their house in Switzerland so she had no problems changing directions a bit.

The problem becomes clear because Max and Nyck work well together, they know each other. Max doesn’t like big change and Daniel is a big change. He’s also good looking but that doesn’t matter. He’s annoying and picky and refuses to go by Nyck’s old plans and his laugh is funny and endearing and his face is pretty and his tattoos are cool.

But none of that matters. None.

Daniel is excited to get working, but he thinks Christian could have been a bit more forthcoming about how far behind they were. Daniel was expecting that maybe he’d be starting on some walls or something, he came with with swatches and tiles and everything. But no….the house is still pretty husk-like. And he’s annoyed cause now he’s standing there in his shorts and sneakers looking like a dick on this construction site.

Anyway, it doesnt matter because he comes prepared! He has like overalls in his raptor. So he grabs that and changes right there in full view of god and everyone. Why yes he is wearing his hot pink hot pants, thanks for fucking noticing. The creative juices always flow when he’s wearing them!

So he goes to Max– who is fucking hot– and also very angry with him. And Daniel gets it, because he and Nyck were friends and there's nothing worse than seeing your friend get fired for things out of their control.

No matter, Daniel is profesh. He can work in almost any environment and he’s not going to embarrass Sewis like that. They’re long time clients and friends. And their recommendations are always highly regarded.

So Daniel gets to work, first he’s helping this guy named Simon update the bricking outside, Geri wanted a whitewash on the southern side so the garden doesn’t get too hot and it’ll match with the new patio going in. Then he’s helping a guy named Genty inside the bathroom– a couple of the pipes needed updating. There weren’t any leaks but no one uses lead pipes anymore for reasons. And then he helps GP lay some new tiles in the bedrooms so that the floors are heated in the winter.

So this is going on for a few days, Daniel helping members of the team, building a rapport– keeping a wide berth of Max. Because Daniel knows when to not ruffle feathers. But he can’t avoid him forever, so finally when all the walls are up and the electrical is done. Daniel goes to Max with the new plans– because his part of the show is about to start.

Max…isn’t happy. Sure the changes aren’t that major, and it's not like they’ll be undoing anything his team has already done. But how dare this guy with his hot accent and laugh come in and befriend his team?! If Max had to hear one more inside joke that he has no clue about or hear his crew talk about Daniel this and Daniel that, he was going to throw a hammer.

So when Daniel comes to him one evening to go over plans, Max doesn’t really want to hear it. He’s come here in his shiny truck (untrue, the truck is dirty as fuck– they work in a construction site), in his tight fucking pants (ok true, Daniel’s work pants are a tad on the skinny side), and his fucking city boots (it was one day the first day. And Max will never let it go), and his gelled hair (ok fine, he makes sure to use his curl cream. Daniel is vain), and tries to take over Max’s job site.

So Max lays into him, letting out all his frustration and pent up sexual tension for this guy that he’s barely interacted with but hears all the time and sees his team– his friends enjoy his presence and maybe he also feels a little left out. And Daniel just stands there and takes it, doesn’t interrupt him, doesn’t fight back. Even when Max is saying blatantly untrue things– but he got a good rant going and Daniel wasn’t stopping him so he was just gonna keep going.

“–and your fucking hot pink–” Max cuts himself off because there was no reason to finish that thought. And Daniel gets this smug fucking grin on his face that Max just wants to kiss off.

“My hot pink what now?” Daniel raises a brow in a challenge that Max is so not going to take. But Daniel is nothing, if not a little shit. “Were you checking me out when I was oh so privately changing that one time Maxy?”

“You stripped in the middle of the driveway while everyone was working. That was hardly private, I think Daniel.”

“But no one else has mentioned my hot pink underwear Maxy Max. Did you like what you saw?” Daniel is dragging a finger along Max’s shoulder at this point and Max is just..frozen in place because how did we get here????

“I– well–You are changing in the middle of a site Daniel. You, of course, cannot be crying modesty now!”

“You wanna know what other colours I wear?”

“Don’t be silly Daniel.”

“Of course not Maxy, yesterday when I was tiling the guest bedroom with GP, I wore my favourite bright green pair that has some smokey black watercolour pattern. And when I was outside doing the patio I was wearing this pretty yellow polka dot ones.”

“I think that's enough Daniel, maybe. I do not–” Max is trying to push him away because when did he even get cornered by this wall? Who put a wall here??

“Oh but I think you’ll like the pair for today, you’re Dutch right? Do all Dutchies like the colour orange?”

“That’s enough Daniel I think! We–we can do the plan your way! It should look great–Geri will love it! I–I think I should go. Have a good night Daniel!” And Max manhandles Daniel out of his way and gtfo’s. He does not think about how Daniel’s waist felt under his arms because why did he even grab there??? He does not think about the fucking hot smirk on Daniels stupid face and kissable mouth and he absolutely does not think about Daniel’s ass in orange hot pants. Nope. He doesn’t.

That changes everything of course. He’s way more aware of where Daniel is in the house now. And its not like Daniel is going anything different. They speak now, and Daniel teases him with tool puns and very bad jokes and Max laughs at every single one because he’s down so bad. And everyone knows it.

Daniel makes random comments when they're alone, pouring over the blueprints and notes, about how Max’s thighs look like they can crush things and the he’ll make a loud offhand comment to the guys about having thighs wrapped around his face when they’re all making increasingly lewd sex jokes at lunch.

Daniel tells Max that he likes his thigh holster and Max internalizes the implications. So what if he’s blushing while they install the kitchen– he’s exerting himself!

Anyway they’re getting closer to the deadline, they have furniture delivery coming soon and there's still so much to do. Daniel has the team painting and wallpapering and Genty is doing the crown moulding and GP is finishing up the fireplace in the den and Max and Daniel are arguing about a chandelier that Geri wanted last minute.

“We can extend it a little lower by three maybe four inches, c’mon Max it’ll really change like the look of the room. If it's too high then it’ll look too small and throws everything off.”

They're standing in the middle of the formal dining room, surrounded by chaos. Everyone is tired and a bit cranky because they’ve truly been going non-stop to meet this deadline.

“It’ll be too low Daniel and the weight distribution will be off." Max sighs because he’s tired of arguing about this.

"Well if your guys installed the fucking beams–" Max had enough, he was tired, he was annoyed and he would not have Daniel complain about his team and fucking beams so late in the build. He sees white and he pushes Daniel’s chest. He’s mad, you don’t talk about his guys. He’s mad and Daniel is annoying and fuck. Max presses Daniel up against the wall and kisses him hard. And Daniel grips his shoulder and kisses him back.

And literally no one bats an eyelash because fucking finally. They can get shit finished now.

So they compromise on 2.5 inches lower. And Max is now wired because now he knows what Daniel feels like under him, pressed against him. Now he knows how his lips and mouth taste and what Daniel’s stubble feels like against his jaw.

It's late another night, the guys have all gone home and Max is with Daniel in the finally finished kitchen, going over what’s left to be done. Daniel’s team would be coming with the furniture install in 2 days so they needed to have everything done for them to take over.

Their time together is coming to an end and Max can’t stop looking at Daniel’s focused face while he makes a list and tries to figure out the best way to make things work. He’s staring at Daniel’s lips, at his nose, at the furrow of his brows.

Daniel looks up at him like ‘what?’, eyes wide and owlish? They really haven’t spoken about the kiss– not about it or what it meant or anything.

And then Max is kissing Daniel again and Daniel is all in. And it’s a push and pull between them and it’s hot and messy and they fuck right there in the kitchen. Daniel sucks Max’s dick in the nook that the stove’s supposed to go in and Max bends Daniel over the countertop (which they had argued about whether it was the correct height–it was).

Anyway so the house is finished, Geri is in love. Christian is happy with it all and life goes on. Max and Daniel go on a few dates, they fuck a lot and when Daniel got hired for another big job, he hired on Max as his contractor.

It kinda went that way for a little bit, them doing jobs together, their teams merging until they make the leap to start a business together. Which incidentally happened before they took the step to move in together. Which is funny because they technically already did. A lot of Daniel’s stuff– clothes, plans, swatches– are already strewn around Max’s place and the cats know to leave the tiles and swatches alone. But moving together is a big step. Starting a business together is just smart. Anyway, they love each other and are grossly in love and their guys tease them about it daily. And Daniel now starts every job in his hot pink hot pants.

#there! its finally out of my brain #Its beautiful I love it #I hope you guys like it #renovation au #max/daniel #maxiel #my fic

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gabriel-xander · 7 months

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I Wish You Died Instead Ch. 7

[Scaramouce x Fem!Reader]

A/N: I started writing this before all of his lore came out/Before the last Sumeru Archon quest, so there will be a handful of inconsistency later on. My advice to you? Just go with it!

{Also on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad under Gabriel Xander}

Chapter 7: He Totally Loves Your Letters

Fiddling nervously with your hands, you sit silently at the table while Childe, Zhongli, Kazuki... and two other people talk with each other about the recent passing of Rex Lapis, the God of Geo, and, like, 50 other fancy titles.

You're not gonna lie, his "death" was a little funny to you. Honestly, it kind of looked like Lady Ningguang was the one who did it. She did this whole performance thing and shot this power into the sky. Two seconds later, a great dragon fell out of the sky dead as hell.

No one seems to think about it like that, though.

Anyway, the two other guests that Zhongli and Childe were talking to were:

The Traveler and Paimon.

They are the man(s), the myth, the legend...

The Traveler, who introduced himself as Aether, was actually very pretty. You first confused him as a young man, a potential little baby, a little son you can spoil because he's just a little guy. But alas, that is not the case with him. He looked a little sad when he had to correct you about his age.

You and Kazuki were already with Zhongli at Liuli Pavilion when Childe arrived with Aether and Paimon. That's when you officially met them both, and Aether's aura was one of someone who has lived and experienced more than you can ever imagine. Aether wasn't very talkative, instead the weird fairy, Paimon, did most of it on his behalf.

Kazuki puts a hand on your bouncing thigh, giving you a passive look. Calm down, he's telling you.

You smile at him.

You were only nervous since you were unsure if the Traveler and Paimon knew of your true identity, and you didn't want to go around announcing that if you could help it.

"In fact," Zhongli looks at you with a smile, "[Y/n], why don't you accompany us? You have always shown interest in my work before, and I can allow you to witness it firsthand just this once if you'd like."

Wait, what? You were not paying attention.

"Uh, I–Sorry, I zoned out," You laugh nervously, "What did you want my help with?"

"It's not like you to be so out of focus," Kazuki teases, nudging your leg.

You scoff, "Leave me alone, I zoned out for not even a minute."

Childe chuckles, "The Traveler, Paimon, and Mr. Zhongli were just discussing the fulfillment of the memorial service for the passing of Rex Lapis. I agree with him, I think it'd be a good opportunity for you to learn. You do always ask him about it, after all."

You laugh sheepishly, embarrassed at how easily they keep revealing that.

It's not that you're super interested in the work of a funeral consultant, more so the stories Zhongli always shared about the clients. He always knows so much, and he's so knowledgeable about that dead person's life, and you don't know why, but you just love hearing about it.

You wouldn't consider yourself a "dang I love people" type of person, but life itself is so wonderful to you. You love hearing about life through a person who seemed like he experienced so much of it.

After all, your fascination with life itself is the reason why you became a Fatui, to begin with. You're given resources to travel the world and study the land under the guise of doing work. You especially love learning about the history of Teyvat, the Abyss, Celestia, and Khaenri'ah, kind of like lore hunting.

"Is-Is it really okay if I come, Mr. Zhongli?"

Still, you have to ask. Childe never hid his identity from Zhongli, so you never bothered either, he knows you three are of Fatuus. Is it really okay with him if you go along knowing that there's the possibility that your superior will ask something suspicious of you?

La Signora hasn't yet, but still. Surely he knows?

He nods with a smile, "Of course. I wouldn't have offered otherwise."

You light up and sit up straighter, "Then yeah! Of course! Thank you for having me!"

"Hm," The brunette nods, "Now then if we have agreed, come with me. We will speak of the details as we walk."

It wasn't until after your group left (leaving poor Kazuki with Childe) that the ginger asked his subordinate a question.

"Do you think... [Y/n] would be upset with me if I had asked her to be a double agent while with Mr. Zhongli?"

Kazuki nods immediately, "Yes, My Liege. Unfortunately, you two are friends now. Though she tries not to show it, she is quite sensitive. Especially when it comes to the topic of friends. Why do you think before meeting you, she was only friends with me?"

"I just thought she was a loner," Childe raises a brow.

"No. Her philosophy is: that betrayal hurts because it can only come from the people you care about. And in this line of business, that is inevitable. Now that you are her friend, you fall under that category," The Pyro vision user hums as he sloshes around the drink in his hand, "I personally have no issue with it, but for [Y/n], never mix friends and business with her."

Tartaglia had to think to himself for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to become your friend at all. He doesn't regret it, but it does make situations like these more difficult. It took a while for you to even want to warm up to him, so... No, he doesn't want to risk it so soon by asking you to spy on your guys' mutual friend.

"Wait," Childe frowns at Kazuki, "What did you mean earlier when you said, "Unfortunately we're friends?"

The man with light brown eyes smirks very slightly, nearly unnoticeable, "Because you are a Harbinger, My Liege. And your task here requires violent actions, remember? You're going to do something that upsets her, and she's going to cut you off. It's inevitable."

...

Childe slams his forehead on the table.

Well... fuck.

————

You lightly smack your cheek, blinking hard to keep yourself awake so late into the night so you don't pass out in the middle of reading.

You're lucky you managed to befriend Jifang, the Boss of Wawen Bookhouse before you knew she was the boss of the place. This ended up working out for you when you wanted to read a book, she'd allow you to "rent" it out rather than a full purchase. She even trusted you to stick around to keep reading even after she closed shop for the day. You'd say you're doing a good job maintaining her trust since you never stole and you always made sure to honor her payment methods.

"So even the Salt God stood amongst the other Gods before the Archon War..." You mutter, reading the next passage out loud, "...before being ruthlessly murdered by one of her own followers."

Holy shit, that's fucked up! Just because she was kind, she had to die? But that doesn't make any sense. If this was during the Archon War, and the God of Salt was technically considered a God of Liyue, why didn't Rex Lapis help her out? Or at least, helped her people so they didn't feel like they had to kill their own God?

You hum to yourself as you keep reading the book: "Her remains are likely to be found somewhere in the ruins of the area known as "Sal Terrae."

The rest of the Volume goes on to talk about the "Flower Toss", or more commonly known in Liyue and Mondstadt, as the "Flower Ball", the God of Salt handed her people a bunch of flowers as a blessing to them. Or at least, if not a blessing, then a small gesture of comfort to stave off the bitterness of the Archon War.

You close shut Volume 1 of Customs of Liyue, neatly putting it back on the shelf from where you got it. Volumes 2 and 3 are about the Rite of Decension and Silk Flowers, both of which you know have nothing to do with the Salt God.

You skim through the spines of the books, trying to find something else of relevance. It's a bit hard to read in the dark, and the only light you have is a lantern above illuminating a small area.

"Ah, here we go. Hopefully, this has something," You muse to yourself, "Volumes 1 and 2 of Records of the Gallant."

Spoilers: it was a fucking bust.

You sigh in irritation as you put the books back after a quick skim. You're starting to get a headache from reading in the dark for hours. Dawn will soon arrive in a few hours, making you dread today's assignments.

You stifle through your Mora bag, pulling out... shit, how many books did you end up reading tonight? You read the full series of Customs of Liyue and Records of the Gallant. Not to mention that you had a quick indulgence of the Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma, and Sumeru Teyvat Travel Guides before you were on a spontaneous lore hunt. It was 1,000 Mora for each Volume, and 2,500 Mora for each Travel Guide Volume. (Mind you, this is all half-price since you're "renting" them, and not fully purchasing them for permanent ownership.)

You pout very sadly, parting with 15,000 Mora. You put it in a jar that Jifang leaves out for you to put the Mora in.

Liyue's architect and structure still fucking confuse you to this day, so it takes you a whole fucking hour to get back to the Northland Bank. It seemed that Vlad's shift was over, since now Nadia, the guard of the Northland Bank for the night shift, was outside standing at attention.

You smile at her, and she smiles back when she recognizes you. You think it's funny other Fatuus have a hard time recognizing you without your mask on. You don't like wearing it out when you're not on the clock though, and you haven't been scolded for it so you guess it's fine.

"Hey, there, Nadia. Is Ekaterina still here?" You ask her, holding back a yawn.

"Oh, good evening, [L/n]. Yes, she should still be here. She had a busy day today, you know. So she might be a little cranky," The girl with light brown hair tells you, "Oh! Before you go in, I have news about my new pen-pal!"

"Oh? Do we finally have more information about them?" You smile teasingly.

"Yeah! He's also a guard here at the Northland Bank, but he's on duty during the day, while I'm on duty at night," Nadia nervously pushes a lock of hair behind her ear, "To tell you the truth, I don't even know his name."

Dude... She is literally talking about Vlad. You literally know Vlad.

Still, it's actually pretty cute that she managed to get to him. Vlad is always dry when talking to you, and he never cared for socializing with the people here. You decide to keep his identity a secret from Nadia, you think it'll be cuter for her this way to learn herself.

"One time, I accidentally left the letter I had written to my brother at our post. And then perhaps the other guard mistook it as a letter I left for him. He even wrote me a reply. I could read between the lines and tell that he was probably very lonely, so I thought it would be good along with it to help him this way. But eventually, writing to him also became a part of my life. I've even started looking forward to receiving his letters, hehe...!"

You feel a weird, bittersweet emotion from her words. You wonder if your letters to Scaramouch help him feel any better, wherever he is at the moment. He never wrote back to you, but you're still dedicated to writing to him often.

You... You hope he also looks forward to receiving your letters.

"That's good, Nadia! I hope things keep going well with this mysterious pen-pal," You wink at her, nudging her arm, "Who knows, maybe he's very handsome, too."

She blushes under her mask, though you can barely see it. "I-I... Don't you have to talk to Ekaterina?! Ge-Get going...!"

"Alright, alright," You pull open the door, "Have a good night, Nadia."

"Ye-Yes, you too."

Poor Ekaterina was sitting at the counter doing late-night paperwork. You don't know exactly what her job entails, but you have a funny feeling Childe makes her job more stressful.

"Hello, Ekaterina!" You greet her as cheerfully as you can because you have a feeling that your happiness will make her annoyed.

And you were right.

She glares at you and you feel it through her mask, "[L/n]. What. Is. Wrong. With. You."

"Want me to go alphabetically, or chronologically?"

"...???"

"Never mind," You shake your head, "I want to talk to your boss. Is Lord Childe here?"

"Do you not realize what time it is? He's already retired for the night hours ago, so you'll have to try your luck tomorrow."

"Riiiigt, right. I figured, but I thought I should take my chances anyway. Anyway, I wanted to take out a small loan for myself. I'm finally cashing in my vacation starting tomor–Uh, I guess starting today, I mean."

"Wait. A vacation? That's a bit last minute, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess. But I already received permission from the Fair Lady, so I'm being responsible, don't worry."

"Yes, I figured as much, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered. But still, don't you want to wait? I mean, the Rite of Parting is the day after tomorrow. Don't you want to stick around for it?

You furrow your brows and cross your arms, "Not to be callous, but no. There's something else I'm more interested in, and I know I'll be way too restless to wait any longer so I'll just do it now."

Ekaterina looks put off by your attitude since you're usually more amendable to reason but it seems that doesn't apply whenever it comes to your own personal interests/research. Ah, but she knows that Childe wouldn't want you to go since he likes you, he's admitted to that before in passing. And Kazuki might have some reservations about it as well, or maybe, he'd even want to go with you.

"I-I see. Well... Alright, then," Ekaterina says with a slight sigh, "Give me a moment to finish up here, and I'll get to the paperwork for the withdrawal."

"Sure, take your time," You smile, "Actually, I'll be leaving now to get sleep. We can get this sorted out in a few hours after some rest, right?"

"Yes, that will be fine. Have a good rest, [L/n]."

"You too, Ekaterina."

You turn around to leave, but you don't get to the door.

"Ah–Wait! I almost forgot!"

You turn around at Ekaterina's sudden shout. You walk back curiously as she shuffles through a stack of papers from behind her desk. You don't rush her, waiting patiently as you lean on the desk. She picks up a small stack of papers, and dreadfully, you believe that it is all yours. To your luck, she stifles through them and separates a slightly thick envelope wrapped in a thin, red string before handing them to you.

Thank God.

You smile and mutter out thanks, taking the envelope from the woman before leaving the bank. You recognize the envelope as being the common ones used in Snezhnaya, more precisely, used at the Zapolyarny Palace. There wasn't a wax seal or a name though, only that it was addressed to you: [Y/n] [L/n], written very neatly. Just from holding it, you can feel there are other papers inside it.

Walking back to the place you and the other Fatuus are staying at takes another about two hours because Liyue is fucking huge. You left the bank around 23:35, but you don't get to your location until 1:42. You hate it here. However, the air is crisp and cool, so you didn't mind the walk too much. There were only a few people out since there were some shops open this late at night. You wave to a few you pass by regularly, though you wouldn't say you're on friendly terms with them, you see each other often enough to at least say hi.

Your identity as a Fatui isn't exactly a secret, so, commonly, you'll get the cold shoulder and unwarranted disrespect. However, you're friendly and outwardly honest enough that you managed to get a good majority of Liyue to like you... Enough.

You still experience distrust and discrimination because of your occupation. You guess there's just no helping it.

Entering your room, you make sure to lock the door behind you and shuck off your coat. You tilt your head side to side, flopping down on your bed face first.

You're ready to pass out then and there, but you're curious about the mail in your hands. You push yourself up and kick off your shoes, moving further up the bed so you can sit cross-legged.

There are separate letters inside it, one addressed to La Signora, one addressed to Tartaglia, and one to yourself. Strange, the main mail was addressed to you, so why did you get Signora's and Childe's letters as well? Was it a mistake?

Either way, you don't want to get in trouble and risk it, so you'll only open yours. You'll just have to make sure to give these out to their proper owners in the morning after you sleep. There isn't a wax seal, so it was easy enough to retrieve the hand-written letter.

————

06 . 08 . XXXX

To My Faithful Servant,

I hope you haven't been completely useless without me for the past six months. It HAS been six months, right? At least for you anyway, but that's beside the point.

I've finally returned to Snezhnaya as of this morning, though I'll be staying at Zapolyarny Palace for another month to complete some work for the Doctor. For your own safety, I advise you to stay where you are in Liyue until I have time to get you myself.

Actually, I think it'd be better if you start working under Tartaglia until then, I don't trust that witch as far as I can throw her. I'll write up an appeal for you to give over to Signora and Tartaglia separately. I'll make sure to include them in the letter before sending it out.

Anyway, you can stop worrying so much. If I knew you'd send letters this frequently, I would've just brought you instead. But now that I think about it, you probably would give me a big headache the whole time, so never mind.

If you want to keep sending your pointless letters, then be my guest. I won't bother replying, but at least that way I know you're still alive and I won't need to hire a new second in command.

You're extremely lucky I happen to find you tolerable. When I see you again, be ready to be put to work.

From "Your Dearest,"

Scaramouche

————

You scoff out a laugh, get up from your bed, and hurry to your desk.

Fuck that guy, you're writing back immediately. As a matter of fact, you don't give a fuck, you're going to be sappy as fuck because you'll admit, you miss that cuck. From the date, he sent this last week. If you send it first thing tomorrow, then he should receive it in a week as well.

————

Scaramouche sighs quietly, closing the door to his chambers gently as he simply lacks the energy for anything else. He's finding himself to be more monotonous as of late, maybe due to the temporary routine of his life. It hasn't even been two weeks since he returned to the Zapolyarny Palace and he's already getting bored of his time here.

He has to endure the Doctor's experiments since returning, doing his own fucking paperwork because while he usually has you doing it, he doesn't trust his other subordinates with it.

He does nothing but train, endure experiments, paperwork, and repeat.

And now it's time for the last part of his routine.

Paperwork.

He sits down at his desk, glaring at the stacks of paper with hatred and disdain, snatching his fountain pen aggressively to get started-

The top of the stack was an envelope with a wax seal he recognized immediately. He drops the pen and carefully (but eagerly) takes the letter and unseals the wax with practiced habit. Scaramouche doesn't realize he's smiling as the familiar scent of your perfume gets stronger when he takes out the letter. He doesn't understand why, but you've always done that with the letters.

He can't say he hates it though.

Ah, the date is from last week. Did you send this the day you got his letter?

————

06 . 15 . XXXX

To My Dearest, Loveliest, Most Criminally Insane Boss,

It's wonderful to hear from you, My Lord! It's okay to admit that you missed me too, I promise to keep it a secret.

I can't lie, I was very happy to hear that you are okay and back at the Palace that I hate spelling. I hope the Doctor hasn't been too overbearing for you, I know how much he displeases you and that's putting it lightly. Let us both pray the days go by fast for us so this month can be over.

I imagine you must have wonderful stories to tell from your time away, I expect nothing less from the mighty Harbinger such as yourself!

...

Are you getting annoyed yet? Haha! Sorry, maybe being in Liyue for this long has put me in too good of a mood lately. There are so many fascinating things about this place and so many things to learn about. Actually, tomorrow I'm taking a short vacation to visit Sal Terrae with (hopefully) my companion, Kazuki. Did you know that the God of Salt was most likely killed by her own people? Well, that's actually why I want to visit it, to confirm it myself. I doubt I'll make any paper about it, this is just to sedate my own curiosity.

I just realized you won't care for this... I don't have the energy to rewrite this though so tough luck.

Anyway, later this morning (it will already have passed by the time you get this) will be the Rite of Parting for Rex Lapis. I already told you in another letter, but that bitch dead as hell. Not to sound disrespectful, but I'm not NEARLY as interested in that as I am for the God of Salt. Hopefully, Lord Childe and Kazuki can tell me about it, I'm sure they'll both be participating.

Sorry for rambling, I tend to do that too much in all my letters don't I? Why is that? Probably because it's easier to talk to you like this when I'm not in pimp-slapping range. And I can't see the disgust on your face because I can't shut the fuck up. Sorry, ignore that.

I'll wrap this up now. You said I don't have to keep writing to you, but then I'd be making your life too easy, and we can't have that, can we?

Take care, and I'll write again next week with another update.

Your Wonderful, Favorite, Totally Amazing Servant,

[Y/n]

[L/n]

————

The Balladeer shakes his head with a smile, opening the top drawer to put it alongside the other letters he's kept. Though, he pauses right as he's about to set it down.

He sets it back on the table and opens up another drawer where he keeps his papers and envelopes.

It'd just be rude to not write back. Not that he particularly cares if he hurts your feelings or not, but this is a lot better than doing fucking paperwork.

————

06 . 21 . XXXX

To My Wonderful, Favorite, Totally Amazing Servant,

These titles are getting ridiculous, and frankly, too tiresome to write.

You're right about one thing, I DO miss you... I miss you doing all my paperwork for me, that's for damn sure. I never realized how tiresome and boring it was to do this, is this what you go through? If so, Thank GOD I won't have to do it for much longer. Once you return to my side, you're going to be very busy catching up on all the work I don't want to do.

I'm afraid I don't have anything worth sharing on my time away, so I'll have to disappoint you with that. From what you've told me, that seems to be the complete opposite of your time in Liyue. You certainly seem happier there than in Snezhnaya, perhaps you ought to stay there.

I at least know you tend to get too caught up in your research. If I didn't know any better, I could've mistaken you for a Sumeru Scholar. Maybe the Haravat Darshan would take you eagerly, though I don't know much about the Akademiya to make a proper guess.

Why don't you give me a brief essay on the God of Salt as a practice assessment once you finish your investigation? I'll determine for you whether you'll get accepted or not; I figure you'll be done with Sal Terrae once you receive this. But be warned, I won't hold back so don't disappoint me with your essay, or I'll be forced to give you a failing grade.

What did Childe tell you about the Rite of Parting? Did anything interesting happen, or is it as boring as all funerals?

You know, you're not as irritating as everyone else who works for me. If you made it sound interesting, then perhaps I can tolerate you telling me more of your knowledge in person.

No promises, though.

By the time you get this, I might already be on the way to Liyue. How about this instead of waiting for me in Liyue, why don't you start making your way to Mondstadt? The Jester wants me to do something for him in the nation of Freedom, so it'll be less of a hassle to meet you there instead. I can trust you to travel alone and make it there alive, right?

I hate to be disappointed in you over something so simple.

Your Dearest, Loveliest, Most Cri

Ugh, like I said. Too much of a hassle.

Sincerely,

Scaramouche

————————

A/N: I actually read ALL books of "Customs of Liyue" and "Records of the Gallant" from the Genshin Archives in game to get the information I wrote down. Not only that, I was walking place to place to determine the lore-accurate time it takes to get from Point A to Point B. It's a thankless job but it must be done.

#fanfiction #original character #reader insert #female reader #genshin impact wanderer #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #short story #wanderer #wanderer x reader #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #IWYDI Fanfiction #Childe is here again #And so is Zhongli #wow #In game genshin lore takes forever to find smh

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claiestve · 6 months

Note

Ima send a few ideas. Don’t have to write all just choose your favorite one.

Isaac finally being brave enough to leave the house with the listener. Before they got together maybe where a client came over (like Vik) but he was always looking at listener and then asking „where did you find them …. Hey sweetie you wanna work for me too ? I’ll pay you more“ and Isaac getting pissed at some point (jealous OFC HEHE). Xanthus coming back after a hunt in New Orleans and bringing listener a gift like a plush or something else. A funny goofy conversation between Xanthus and Dontis and DONTIS ALWAYS TEASING.

𝐋𝐞𝐭 '𝐄𝐦 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 ꨄ 𝘐𝘴𝘢𝘢𝘤

˜”* ❝𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙞𝙣'𝙩 𝙪𝙥 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙨.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ɪꜱᴀᴀᴄ ᴅᴇꜰᴇɴᴅꜱ ʏᴏᴜ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

This was your first time leaving the house with Isaac. You were a bit nervous since the people around were unfamiliar to you but Isaac would whisper in your ear who a certain person was so you know.

Isaac was very adamant about staying by your side and staying with you but of course, he couldn’t be with you the whole time.

While Isaac was gone, you made sure not to look at anyone to avoid conversation but of course there’s always someone that seeks you out.

“Why hello there! Have we met before?” You hear from behind you.

You turn around to see a man with light hair, light eyes, smiling at you. He was like the exact oposite of Isaac appearance wise.

“I don’t think we have, Y/N.” You introduce yourself and reach your hand out. As much as you didn’t want to talk to him, you remained respectful and polite.

“Oh! Y/N! I know you. I’ve heard about you from… who was it? Ah, Isaac. People say you’re the housekeeper?”

“Assistant.” You felt insulted by being called a housekeeper.

“Oh, assistant? Well, you could make a good amount of money working for me. I mean, Isaac, he’s not one for company. I’m sure you know. But I could treat you better, pay you better, everything else.”

You didn’t say anything but you did let out an awkward laugh. Well, what are you supposed to say?

“Besides, a pretty thing like you shouldn’t be in the care of… him.”

You felt a hand on your shoulder. Perfect timing, Isaac.

“Oh, hello, Isaac.” The man looks up at him.

“Save it. You know better than trying to buy people. Especially in a place like this.” Isaac looked down at him. He looked pissed.

“I’m sure your assistant didn’t mind my offer,” He says before looking back at you, “Right, beautiful?”

The man got closer to you before Isaac put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“Back up. You think calling them names is going to make them swoon for you. Y/N isn’t shallow like you.”

“Isaac.” You try butting in.

“-And I’d be damned if I let you ‘buy’ my assistant let alone my partner.”

His hands go from your shoulders to your waist. The man looks angry, like, seriously angry.

“Y/N, he’s taking advantage of you and your beauty!”

Isaac looks like he’s about to start but you do it for him.

“Look, I recognize that you think I ‘look good’ or whatever and you think Isaac doesn’t treat me well but I don’t want to go with you. Judging by the fact that you’re so comfortable walking up to people and trying to bribe them says a lot about you and quite frankly, ‘a pretty thing like me shouldn’t be in the care of… you.”

The man looks at you in disbelief. He must’ve thought his bribing would actually work.

Isaac on the other hand looks, in awe. He’s never really seen you speak up for yourself with anyone but him so this was…

“Come on, ‘Sac.” You grab his hand.

He leans down a little, “I didn’t know you had that in you.”

“I don’t. I’m shaking like crazy.”

He chuckles and kisses your cheek.

“I’ll make sure that guy comes nowhere near you.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

dude i wanna see a pissed off isaac like he's so attractive.anyways THANK U FOR REQUESTING (i love isaac if u couldn't tell). im trying to get stuff out before his new part so yall can be fed beforehand.

(ill do the other requests from this as well be patient w me yall)

#zsakuva #asmr #zsakuvaxreader #isaac #isaacrhodes #sakuverse #iloveyou

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lala3244 · 10 months

Text

“Reality and fiction reunited”

- I tried to do a gender-neutral character but as in my language we don’t have it (gender neutral pronoun), it had been a struggle so I hope I did okay and I am sorry for any mistake about that!-

~ What would happen if the characters of the game you are playing could come to your world? ~

Warnings: Violence, talk about cats a lot, talk of death, British English, not proofread

=====================================

It’s been a couple of months since they downloaded the obey me! game. Everyday they played, logging in to receive the presents. Doing all the events. Grinding hard to level up their cards. Slowly but surely, they could advance in the story.

They fell in love with a few characters. Mammon and his goofy side, Lucifer and the responsible brother vibe he gives off, Simeon and his angelic side and also Solomon, the shady sorcerer.

Every night, they would fell asleep, imagining that they were in the Devildom, joking around with Mammon, helping Lucifer with his work, showing how to use the DDD to Simeon or learning magic with Solomon. It was a nice way to escape their reality. They lived alone with their cat in a big house after their partner died of a disease. They loved their job and their colleagues were good people to hang around with but at home, they felt alone. So the game was a kind of a lifesaver.

Even though, the characters were fictional, they would talk to them, never waiting for an answer, of course. They would talk about their day, what a colleague had done that was funny or about a client that was complaining about something petty.

So tonight wasn’t different from the other days. They came back home from work, changed into something more comfortable and gave some wet food to their cat. They sat down on their sofa and picked up their phone.

They opened the Obey Me! App and started to play. While playing, they received a notification saying that it was the anniversary of the day them and their partner got together. They had kind of forgotten about it as it’s been two years but it hurt them all over again when they read it. They started to cry, the phone began to be blurry as more tears started to fill up their eyes.

They locked up the game, made something quick to eat and went to bed early. It was better to escape reality in their mind, living a life they wish they could have. Finally, they fell asleep while thinking about showing their cat to Satan and how Satan would love him.

When they were playing, they were talking to Mammon in his room. Mammon saw the human’s eyes watering just before they closed the app. It has been a few weeks that everyday the human would log in. Mammon was started to like that human. He is used to human playing this game but none really appealed to him but he was fond of this one. Always talking about their lives, smiling when he would pop up and they put him as the Home Screen of the DDD. He was so proud.

He got worried when they locked the phone as he was talking also they didn’t finish the lesson and they never came back. He paced around his room in case they would be back but they didn’t. He ran to his brothers and told them what happened. He knew some of them were also fond of them as he was.

They all agreed that someone should check on them. Literally. Materialising in their realm but if someone got wind of it, they also be able to do it so they had to be extremely cautious when they got there.

As Mammon was the human’s favourite, it would be easier for him to open the way from the Devildom to the device in their realm then from there all of them would be able to go through the device wherever they are.

Mammon finally walked through the portal he had managed to open with Lucifer’s help. He materialised in their bedroom. It was dark but he was a demon, he could see perfectly. He walked over them. He saw their face. It looked peaceful but their cheeks were stained with tears. He sighed. “Poor human”. He got closer to their head and lightly touched their hair.

He heard a noise just outside their front door. He silently walked down the stairs as their bedroom was on the first floor. The front door was just at the bottom of the stairs and he pressed his face on the door’s window. The lights were on outside but it was dark inside. So whoever or whatever it was, they couldn’t see him.

He saw what he thought was a human but their eyes were shining and realised it was a demon. He recognised him. He knew him for making a deal with him that went bad. He transformed into his demon’s form and unlocked the door that the demon was trying to open. He opened the door violently and grabbed quickly the demon who didn’t have time to react.

When they woke up, all was quiet. Their cat was lounging at their feet and woke up at the same time. He purred and head butted them on their head. They laughed “good morning, my cat”. They slowly walked down the stairs and got to the kitchen for their breakfast.

They locked their cat in a room as he isn’t allowed to go outside and they opened all the windows to get some fresh air inside. They opened the front door and saw some red stains on their porch. They frowned. “It probably was the stray cats who killed some birds right in front of my house”. They sighed. After a few minutes they closed all their windows and door and freed their cat. They got ready and left for work.

Mammon came back to his brothers with the other demon. Both of them were bloodied. Mammon had maimed the demon pretty badly and got himself covered. Lucifer stood up and looked at his brother. “Mammon? What is it?” Mammon explained to all of them what had happened.

Lucifer finally stared at the bloodied demon. “How did get over there? How did you know?” The demon didn’t say anything and started to laugh. The avatar of Pride grabbed him and left with him. The rest of the brothers looked at Mammon. Satan started to speak “What are we going to do now?” Mammon shrugged. “I need to get a shower. We’ll speak later.”

They all looked at each other worried. They were all living in a game. They all knew as the main characters but they didn’t know that the lower demons and non important characters knew too…

When Mammon finished his shower he went back to the others and sat down. “I think we’ll need to take turns to protect them.” Satan nodded “I’ll go first”. Secretly, he wanted to see the cats he’s heard so much about.

He appeared inside the house and went on a mission to find their cat. He found him and grabbed him. He sat on the sofa and gently laid the animal on his lap. The cat seemed uncomfortable at first but he relaxed and started to purr. Satan was so happy and giddy!

He looked at the entrance and saw a head peeking inside the house. He mumbled “I can’t believe they dare coming here during the day!”. He could feel his wrath spiking up and stood up. The cat jumped and left the room in a hurry. He could hear the person outside trying to work out the lock. He waited patiently for them to open the door while his rage was building up.

When the door was opened, Satan morphed into his demon’s form and pounced on the person who didn’t make a move at the sudden action. He pushed the demon, he realised after a couple of seconds, to the wall outside which made the demon hit his head on it. Blood started to seep through their hair and fell on the floor.

Satan went back to the Hall of Lamentation with the demon, unconscious. Lucifer was back from wherever he went with the other one. “Found him outside their house.” He threw the demon unceremoniously in front of Lucifer. The eldest sighed and rubbed his temples. “Right, let’s all go and see Lord Diavolo”

They came back home and saw a few drops of blood on the floor again in front of their door. “Again?! That never happened before!” They shrugged and went inside. They looked for their cat who usually greeted them at the door.

They found him under their bed, all scared. They grabbed him and kissed him all over his head. “Why are you scared, Little baby?” They gave them some snacks and he wasn’t scared anymore. He was the crazy cat he always has been. They got changed and went to the cemetery.

In front of their partner’s grave, they kneeled down and started to talk. They reminisced about the old days, how they met and what their life’s plan was. They came back home after an hour and sat down on their sofa. They opened the Obey Me! app and carried on with the lesson where they were talking with Mammon.

Mammon was glad that he saw his human again. They looked better but they started talking about their day and their eyes started watering when they talked about the cemetery. After they finished, they sighed “Ah Mammon… Why can’t you be real and take me into your arms?”

Mammon carried on with the storyline while being flustered. He couldn’t believe what they had just said! When the lesson was over, he was alone in his room. He sat down with a huge smile on his face. He looked at his DDD. “Oh right, I’ve got to go to Diavolo’s”

Mammon arrived at the castle and joined his brothers in the hall. Barbatos was there but no Lord Diavolo. Mammon got impatient, he wanted to go and see his human. Protect them. Finally, the Lord arrived with Lucifer. He started to talk. “Right, Lucifer caught me up with what happened and we can’t let this get out of hand. We are fictional, the human can’t know we can travel to their world. So each of you will go over there depending on where they are on the game and you’ll stand guard outside. No interaction with the humans, and I mean it!”

They all nodded. Satan spoke first “who’s going to go first?” Diavolo looked at Lucifer “I’ll go as I won’t need to be in the game for a few more lessons.” They moved their heads in agreement.

=====================================

THE END

Hope you liked it! I don’t know if it’s warm where you are but stay hydrated and safe!

For those interested here a picture of my cat 🐈

#obey me #obey me fandom #obey me fanfic #obey me mammon #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me x reader #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obeyme #obey me fanfiction #obey me solomon #obey me simeon

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psychoticallytrans · 1 year

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Hey, I just wanted to let you know that as a case manager in a local emergency homeless shelter. I work / have worked with several clients who have anger issues.

I saw your post containing the "pencil trick" a while ago, and since then, I don't go to work without a small handful of unsharpened pencils in my pocket. My fiancé and coworkers think I'm crazy, but teaching my clients the "pencil trick" has diffused a few tense moments, even with clients who DON'T tell me they have anger issues. Sometimes they're having a panic/anxiety attack for other reasons, or they're simply (justifiably, given their circumstances) angry about something.

"I really don't mean to interrupt, but it seems like you need a minute. Let me go [make a phone call / talk to my supervisor / make copies or printouts of that paperwork you asked for]." I pull out my handful of pencils, explain that having a physical outlet has always been helpful for me (I'm on the autism spectrum and pencils are great stim toys, too! Having an excuse to keep four of them on-hand is a win!), break one with my thumbs, and then offer them a snack or a glass of water as I give them a few minutes to do what they like with the pencils.

Usually, the person really did just need a snack, a drink, and/or a few minutes alone. Less often, they've left the room while I was gone, which tells me I probably wasn't getting much more progress from that conversation anyway. Sometimes, one or two more pencils have been snapped. One time, ALL of them were snapped, multiple times each (I offered her more pencils and another few minutes alone, but she already felt a lot better lmao).

Anyway, I came across your blog and realized you were the one who taught me that trick. It gets me some funny looks, but when it works it WORKS. Just wanted to say thank you! 😊

Sometimes, you just need to break something, and pencils are both cheap and satisfying. I'm glad my trick is spreading!

A bit of fun backstory on it for anyone who's wondering. I invented it in art class. Another student was getting really agitated that their piece, which they were hoping to enter in the county fair, was not turning out. They'd tried pacing, but were just getting more and more worked up.

Now, at this point, my strategy for myself was "go into the woods and break sticks." This was art class, so there were no sticks. There was, however, an abundance of pencils that had been mistreated by years of middle schoolers.

So, I offered one to them, explained my reasoning, and they pretty much snatched it out of my hand, snapped it clean in half, and then blinked at me. "How are you feeling?" "...much better, actually."

They won second place in their age category. Not strictly related to the above, but I love a happy ending.

#answered

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dude-wheres-my-ankheg · 15 days

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Okay so thanks to the current chapter I'm working on, I've been asked about my Sorn/Nym head canons and I didn't know where to dump that wall of text so it's going here lolol enjoy my completely made up Sorn/Nym lore

So, ignoring the very fact that Larian decided to make them maddeningly contradictory by being "Seldarine" drow and having "fled the underdark due to the mistreatment of mens" as part of their backstory, I have made up my own shit.

Much of this is very loose and subject to change

From the drow specific dialogue, it's hinted that no they actually aren't from Menzoberranzan, which I've chosen to keep because it leads to a kinda funny moment with my OC. ANYWAY here are my extremely abridged Orlith HCs

History

So in my completely made up HCs, they were both born as commoners in a Lolthite city (not Menzo or Ust Natha, not decided which one) who, both being very headstrong and troublesome, left their family to make it on their own together. They quickly found a very effective method of getting by - Sorn seducing wealthy merchants so Nym could rob them blind while they were distracted. They were very successful like this for several years, a few close calls but nothing terrible, until The Incident (which I still need to properly work out).

Following The Incident which resulted in some imprisonment and jailbreak, the two decide to get proper jobs for a while, Sorn as an accountant and Nym working security for a local merchant (lol). However working mundane jobs only accentuated how poorly Sorn was treated, and Nym said they should go to the surface together instead. Sorn was initially worried but Nym had the idea that if they worked as courtesans they'd have an easier time - she had heard that drow were seen as beautiful and exotic by many surfacers, and such a role would make them seem less threatening and less likely to draw trouble.

This is how they both came to work at Sharess' Caress in Baldur's Gate. They both found that the work was less dangerous and more fun than most else they had done, and decided to stick with it, making names for themselves as two highly sought after (and expensive) courtesans.

Sorn

In my HCs, I imagine Sorn as vain, kinda simple, very sweet, and a great lover of numbers. idk, I can just see him laying face down on his bed, kicking his feet doing a sudoku as he waits for his next client. He was an excellent accountant and sometimes helps Mamzell Amira with the books. He loves the fine things in life, like good food and clothes, but loves nothing more than his sister.

Nym

I imagine Nym, underneath her courtesan persona, being a very capable and dangerous woman. Good with a knife and a lockpick, excellent at sneaking and getting places she shouldn't, easily talking her way out of situations. Out of the two of them, she is the quiet one and enjoys listening to Sorn waffle on as he does. Despite her dangerous capabilities, she's generally a good soul who would rather resolve issues peacefully. She would, however, do anything to defend her brother.

And the pair absolutely adore gossip. They truly are living their best lives in Sharess' Caress.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #sorn orlith #nym orlith #sorn #nym

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daddydoddsjr · 1 year

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Rita fic please!!!

Possibly working on opposite sides and the others find out that you are dating a defence lawyer and them being all bitter about it and believing that you would bypass Rita stuff. And then realising that no matter who you are in a relationship with you still fight for you clients.

Pairing || Rita Calhoun x Female!Reader

Contents/Warnings || Angst

Authors Note || i love rita so much it’s not even funny… i didn’t proof read this so sorry in advance

No one was supposed to find out yet. You and Rita hadn’t come up with any plans on how you’d present the news of your relationship yet, but it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It was a rainy day and you and Rita weren’t working and were finally taking some time to be together. The two of you were sitting in a tiny coffee shop together, talking and laughing quietly. One of your hands was on the table and Rita was holding it.

Neither of you were really trying to hide it, but you also didn’t expect Olivia and Rafael to be walking by that shop, Rafael making a comment on how good their coffee is, but pausing when he saw you and Rita through the window.

“That… could be a problem,” Olivia sighed, quickly pulling Rafael past the coffee shop before you or Rita could see them.

“You don’t think that Y/N would… do anything, do you?” Olivia asked quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just worried about how whatever that was can effect futures cases. And our current one.”

“Rita’s smart… but so is Y/N. I don’t think that they’d date if they weren’t smart enough to know the issues that’ll come with it. And I’d hope neither becomes corrupted enough to help each other with their cases to see one win instead of the other.”

“I’m still going to talk to Y/N about it tomorrow.”

“Liv… do you really think that’s a good idea? That alone might compromise your case.”

Olivia sighed, “I know.”

You were at SVU the next day to speak with Olivia about some detailed on the case when she brought it up.

You were taken by surprise, “You saw us yesterday? Where?”

“In a coffee shop in Chelsea. You two looked… close.”

You sighed, your grip on your brief case tightening, “Look, I know what you’re thinking—“

You were cut off, “Do you?” Olivia questioned, “Because I’m thinking I shouldn’t be bringing you anymore cases.”

“Are you really questioning my ability to do my job?”

“Your relationship with Rita could get in the way of what you’re supposed to be doing.”

“You know me better than that, Olivia.” A silence followed for a few moments.

“I’m going to win this case, whether I’m going against Rita or any other defence lawyer. I’m on the sides of my clients,” You left her office before she could say anything else to you, not wanting to hear any more of her accusations.

Rita knew that you wouldn’t take it easy on her during the trial, and you knew she wouldn’t take it easy on you either. This wasn’t the first trial the two of you had gone head to head in, and Rita had won the last one. You knew that this case was a slam dunk, but your anger towards Olivia made you even more confident in yourself and the stacks of evidence against Rita’s client. Olivia was witness to the entire trial, watching you and Rita make sly remarks at each other during your cross examinations of each others clients. Rita was, well, Rita as usual. Olivia didn’t notice any different behaviours in the two of you, and it made her feel a little foolish for what she had said to you a few days previously. Especially when the jury came back after only a few short hours of deliberating with a guilty verdict, putting another win on your belt.

Olivia approached you after the jury was dismissed and Rita was speaking with her clients parents. “Y/N… good win.”

“Thank you,” You sighed, putting your papers away and closing your brief case.

“Im sorry that I doubted you.”

“You had every right to be weary… but I don’t like being accused of not being able to do my job properly just because of who I love.”

“Love?” Olivia quirked an eyebrow at you with a half smirk.

“Yes,” You gave her a small smile. “We were going to come out with it eventually, we just didn’t know when the right time was. It’s not really the easiest thing to bring up to your colleagues.”

“I understand.”

“I’m sure you do. Barba, huh?”

“I won’t confirm or deny anything.”

You chuckled as Rita approached the two of you, “Our reservation is in two hours. I’ll see you there?”

You nodded. Rita glanced at Olivia, “Nice to see you, Captain. I heard you and Barba found out… he’s been making comments all week. Might want to tell your boyfriend he’s going to get a briefcase to the head next time he says something,” She said before leaving a kiss on your cheek and walking out of the courtroom.

“Boyfriend? Really?”

“Please, Liv, it’s so obvious.”

#law and order svu #l&o: svu #svu #olivia benson #mariska hargitay #rafael barba #rita calhoun #rita calhoun x reader #sapphic #sapphic fic #rita calhoun x female reader #raul esparza #elizabeth marvel #rafael barba x olivia benson #barson

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