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daddydoddsjr · 1 year

Note

Rita fic please!!!

Possibly working on opposite sides and the others find out that you are dating a defence lawyer and them being all bitter about it and believing that you would bypass Rita stuff. And then realising that no matter who you are in a relationship with you still fight for you clients.

Pairing || Rita Calhoun x Female!Reader

Contents/Warnings || Angst

Authors Note || i love rita so much it’s not even funny… i didn’t proof read this so sorry in advance

No one was supposed to find out yet. You and Rita hadn’t come up with any plans on how you’d present the news of your relationship yet, but it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It was a rainy day and you and Rita weren’t working and were finally taking some time to be together. The two of you were sitting in a tiny coffee shop together, talking and laughing quietly. One of your hands was on the table and Rita was holding it.

Neither of you were really trying to hide it, but you also didn’t expect Olivia and Rafael to be walking by that shop, Rafael making a comment on how good their coffee is, but pausing when he saw you and Rita through the window.

“That… could be a problem,” Olivia sighed, quickly pulling Rafael past the coffee shop before you or Rita could see them.

“You don’t think that Y/N would… do anything, do you?” Olivia asked quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just worried about how whatever that was can effect futures cases. And our current one.”

“Rita’s smart… but so is Y/N. I don’t think that they’d date if they weren’t smart enough to know the issues that’ll come with it. And I’d hope neither becomes corrupted enough to help each other with their cases to see one win instead of the other.”

“I’m still going to talk to Y/N about it tomorrow.”

“Liv… do you really think that’s a good idea? That alone might compromise your case.”

Olivia sighed, “I know.”

-

You were at SVU the next day to speak with Olivia about some detailed on the case when she brought it up.

You were taken by surprise, “You saw us yesterday? Where?”

“In a coffee shop in Chelsea. You two looked… close.”

You sighed, your grip on your brief case tightening, “Look, I know what you’re thinking—“

You were cut off, “Do you?” Olivia questioned, “Because I’m thinking I shouldn’t be bringing you anymore cases.”

“Are you really questioning my ability to do my job?”

“Your relationship with Rita could get in the way of what you’re supposed to be doing.”

“You know me better than that, Olivia.” A silence followed for a few moments.

“I’m going to win this case, whether I’m going against Rita or any other defence lawyer. I’m on the sides of my clients,” You left her office before she could say anything else to you, not wanting to hear any more of her accusations.

Rita knew that you wouldn’t take it easy on her during the trial, and you knew she wouldn’t take it easy on you either. This wasn’t the first trial the two of you had gone head to head in, and Rita had won the last one. You knew that this case was a slam dunk, but your anger towards Olivia made you even more confident in yourself and the stacks of evidence against Rita’s client. Olivia was witness to the entire trial, watching you and Rita make sly remarks at each other during your cross examinations of each others clients. Rita was, well, Rita as usual. Olivia didn’t notice any different behaviours in the two of you, and it made her feel a little foolish for what she had said to you a few days previously. Especially when the jury came back after only a few short hours of deliberating with a guilty verdict, putting another win on your belt.

Olivia approached you after the jury was dismissed and Rita was speaking with her clients parents. “Y/N… good win.”

“Thank you,” You sighed, putting your papers away and closing your brief case.

“Im sorry that I doubted you.”

“You had every right to be weary… but I don’t like being accused of not being able to do my job properly just because of who I love.”

“Love?” Olivia quirked an eyebrow at you with a half smirk.

“Yes,” You gave her a small smile. “We were going to come out with it eventually, we just didn’t know when the right time was. It’s not really the easiest thing to bring up to your colleagues.”

“I understand.”

“I’m sure you do. Barba, huh?”

“I won’t confirm or deny anything.”

You chuckled as Rita approached the two of you, “Our reservation is in two hours. I’ll see you there?”

You nodded. Rita glanced at Olivia, “Nice to see you, Captain. I heard you and Barba found out… he’s been making comments all week. Might want to tell your boyfriend he’s going to get a briefcase to the head next time he says something,” She said before leaving a kiss on your cheek and walking out of the courtroom.

“Boyfriend? Really?”

“Please, Liv, it’s so obvious.”

#law and order svu #l&o: svu #svu #olivia benson #mariska hargitay #rafael barba #rita calhoun #rita calhoun x reader #sapphic #sapphic fic #rita calhoun x female reader #raul esparza #elizabeth marvel #rafael barba x olivia benson #barson

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letters2fiction · 2 months

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Rafael Barba … May I call you that or should I address you as councillor?

Did you ever have those kinda feelings towards Olivia Benson? Or was it strictly platonic?

Counselor...for now...is fine, thanks.

I had feelings for Olivia. But that all fell apart after the last time I saw her, when we had a fight, because I was taking on Richard Wheatley as a client. I should've just let Rita Calhoun or John Buchanan defend him and let them grill her, like I tried to protect her from.

But alas, it was nice to finally find out where she stood--where we stood.

-Barba

#law and order svu #rafael barba #ask a fictional character #barson #rafael barba x olivia benson

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smoothdogsgirl · 1 year

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January - First Kiss

Pairing: Olivia Benson x Rafael Barba

Warnings: Friendship

Words: 1500

Summary: This is an alternate ending to the episode "The Undiscovered Country."

The opening dialogue is paraphrased from the episode.

In a Discord group I belong to, there was a post for a "Year of the OTP" challenge for 2023.

Disclaimer: This is fanfic work; no money is being made from this story. All recognizable characters belong to their respective creative authors, studios or producers.

Masterlist

Olivia walks up to Rafael across the street from the courthouse, “I’m so sorry.”

Rafael looks at her perplexed, “why, what did you do?”

“I called you about the case. I brought you into this.”

Rafael turns and looks at the courthouse, “ You know, when we first started working together, what was it five years ago?”

Olivia chuckles a little bit, “try six years.”

Rafael inhales deeply and lets his breath out slowly. “The world was an old movie. It was all black and white. And it was high noon. I was Gary Cooper.”

A smile breaks out on Olivia’s face at his words.

“I was absolutely sure, absolutely… on who were the good guys… who were the bad guys. And then you… you came into my life. You started to weasel your way into my world, and the black and white became different shades of gray. Don’t say it.” Rafael pauses and looks at Olivia sheepishly. “Before I knew it, there were blues and greens and yellows and reds. I’m you now, Liv. You opened my heart. And I thank you for it.”

“And?” Olivia asks cautiously, unsure what he is trying to tell her.

“I’ve got to move on.” He tells her.

A small sob escapes Olivia, her lips tremble, and tears form in the corner of her eyes.

Rafael leans into Olivia he places a kiss on her lips. When he tries to pull back, Olivia wraps her arms over his shoulders and kisses him back. Several minutes later, they pull apart, and he rests his forehead against hers, both of their breaths coming in fast and unsteady.

“Don’t leave Rafa,” Olivia quietly begs.

“Liv…” Rafael starts.

“Rafa, I understand you cannot stay at the DA’s office. But please don’t leave Noah and me. We need you.”

Rafael hugs her, unsure of how to respond to her statement. Olivia looks him in the eye and notes his uncertainty. “Come home with me. Noah will be happy to see you, and after he’s gone to bed, we can talk.”

“I can do that.”

************************************************************************

The sounds of laughter greet them as Olivia opens the door to her apartment. Noah is curled in a ball on the couch, and Lucy, his nanny, is tickling him. Rafael gently closes the apartment door behind him to avoid disturbing the scene. As he stands behind Olivia, she leans into him.

Suddenly Noah looks up and lets out a yell. He scrambles off the couch and runs toward them. Olivia steps out of the way as Noah’s body collides with Rafaels. “Uncle Rafa, you’re here! It’s been forever! I’ve missed you so much! Are you staying for dinner?” Noah fires the questions off in quick succession.

Rafael can’t help the laugh that escapes him, “Breathe, mijo, and I will answer your questions.”

“How about before you interrogate Rafa, you let him come into the apartment, let him take off his coat, and get comfortable. and while he is doing that, you clean up your stuff.” Olivia suggests.

Noah sighs but turns to follow her request.

“Hi, Liv,” Lucy states as she finishes shrugging on her jacket, “he hasn't had dinner, he wanted to wait for you. He finished all of his homework, and I’ve checked it all.”

“Do you want to join us for dinner?” Olivia asks Lucy.

“Not tonight; there’s a study group at the library tonight that I want to go to,” Lucy states as she shoulders her backpack. Lucy then heads out, waving a quick goodbye to Noah.

Rafael sits on the couch, relaxing as he settles into the seat; soon enough, Noah joins him. He is surprised when Noah leans against his side, snuggling in. So that both can be comfortable, he raises his arm, allowing Noah to slide in closer. “So, to answer your earlier comments. It has been a while, and I’m sorry for that….”

“Mom said that it was adult things,” Noah grumbled.

“She’s right, but I will talk to you about that eventually.” Rafael decided that he would need to talk to Olivia about how to approach this. “I’ve missed you as well, mijo.” He states, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. “Yes, I’ll be staying for dinner… Now it’s your turn. How are you? How’s school? And how do you like ballet?”

“I’m good, uncle Rafa, even better now that you’re here. School is ok. I really like the art class; we’re using clay now. It’s kinda messy but lots o fun. Mom told you I’m taking ballet classes? And you don't think that's weird?” Noah asked hesitantly.

“She did…Of course not. As long as you are enjoying the class and having fun, that is all that matters….” Rafael pauses for a moment, “has someone said something?

“There is this kid Mark in my class, and he’s been calling me names and making fun of me. He says ballet is for girls.” Noah tells him.

Rafael turns in his seat a little to look Noah in the eye. Ballet is not just for girls. Anyone who thinks that is ignorant. As for the bullying, and yes, name calling and making fun of you, is that. Have you told a teacher, Lucy, or your mom?”

“No…I don’t want to make it worse.” Noah mumbled quietly, looking away from Rafael.

“Noah…Mijo.” Rafael states, pausing until Noah looks at him. You have done nothing wrong. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Just like, liking and taking dance doesn't make you weak. So I really think you should tell your mom. Ok?”

“Ok, uncle Rafa I’ll tell mom.” Noah acquiesces and hugs Rafael tightly around the waist.

“Everything alright in here?” Olivia asks as she enters the room, “I’ve order pizza for dinner.”

“All good,” Rafael answered.

Olivia then turned to Noah, “go take a shower and put on your pj’s. Pizza will be here by then.”

“But mom…” Noah started to argue.

“Noah, please do as your mom asked. I will still be here when you are finished.” Rafael interrupted, wanting to prevent an argument.

“Fine,” Noah sighed, getting up from the couch and trudging to his bedroom. Olivia ruffles his hair as he passes, suppressing a chuckle.

************************************************************************

Later that evening, as Olivia is tucking Noah into his bed, he grabs her hand. She pauses what she is doing, “is everything, ok sweet boy.”

Noah lets go of her hand, snatches Eddie, the elephant, and hugs him tightly.

“Noah, you can tell me anything. I love you, sweet boy.” She says, trying to reassure him.

“I know, uncle Rafa…” he stopped, not wanting to get the man in trouble.

“Did uncle Rafa tell you to talk to me?” Olivia asked gently. At Noah’s corresponding nod, she squeezed his hand. “Neither one of you is in trouble. I’m glad you felt comfortable talking to uncle Rafa about what is bothering you. And when you are ready to tell me I’m here, just remember, no matter what, I will always love you, my sweet boy.”

Noah thought about her words for a few minutes before he began to speak in a low, muffled voice, Eddie still partially obstructing his face. “There is this boy Mark in my class. He’s been calling me names and making fun of me for taking ballet classes.”

Olivia takes a calming breath to quieten her inner mama bear, “honey Mark is wrong; there is absolutely nothing wrong with you taking ballet classes….”

“That’s what uncle Rafa said!” Noah exclaims.

“And uncle Rafa is right. As long as you are having fun and it makes you happy, that is all that matters. Do you want me to speak with Mark’s parents about this?” She asks Noah how he would like to proceed before he steps in.”

“Can you, mama?” Noah asks.

“I will speak with your teacher tomorrow and contact Mark's parents.”

“Thank you, mama,” Noah says as he sits up and hugs her.

Once he’s settled back in the bed, Olivia hugs him back as she readjusts his blankets, tucking him back in and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Love you, sweet boy.”

“Love you, mama,” he mumbles as his eyes droop shut.

Olivia rises from his bed and walks across the room, flipping the switch to turn off the bedside lamp. She leaves the door slightly ajar and returns to the living room.

There she notes that Rafael cleaned up the remnants from dinner while she was gone. He is sitting on the couch with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled past the elbow as he scrolls through her Netflix account for something to watch. An open bottle of red wine and two poured glasses are on the table. She joins him on the couch, snuggling into him and pulling the throw blanket from the back of the couch, wrapping it around them both. “Thank you for loving us, Rafa.”

Rafael pulls her close and kisses the top of her head, “te amo mi amor.”

#“Year of the OTP” challenge for 2023 #Law and Order: SVU #Rafael Barba x Olivia Benson #Noah Porter Benson #Lucy

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cathrrrine · 4 months

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rafael, sighing as he walks into the precinct: what is it now? i told you not to call me on my day off, benson.

olivia: sorry, we needed all hands on deck. suspect’s in holding, we need— wait, why are you wearing a tux?

rafael: i was in the middle of proposing to y/n.

olivia: you- AND YOU ANSWERED THE PHONE?!?!

rafael: i didn’t want to! she made me pick it up in case it was urgent!

y/n, skipping into the room while showing off her ring: I’M GETTING MARRIED! I’M GOING TO BE A BRIDE! HE’S GOING TO BE MY HUSBAND Y’ALL WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO

olivia: so… i take it she said yes?

#law and order svu #incorrect svu quotes #rafael barba x reader #olivia benson x reader #monica and chandler energy #cat writes incorrect quotes

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cabotwife · 5 months

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MASTERLIST !!

to be updated

♡ - fluff

♤ - smut

◇ - angst

SVU

olivia benson

- 2am call ◇♡

- growing up ♡

- enter the night ♡◇

- battered and bruised (wip) ♡◇

casey novak

- goodbye earl (wip) ♡◇

alex cabot

- clean (wip) ♡

rafael barba

- a night with barba

Hunger Games

johanna mason

- enchanted ♡

- two broken halves ♡◇

- hey, brother ◇♡

- you are my sunshine ♡

- please don't take my sunshine away (wip) ◇♡

- domestic bliss ♡

- dress ♤

- would've, could've, should've ◇♡

- this love ◇♡

- so it goes ♤♡

- too well ♡◇

- like blood ♡◇

- stupid with love (wip) ♡

- somethin' bad (wip) ♡

- better than revenge (wip) ◇♡

#masterlist #olivia benson #rafael barba #johanna mason #olivia benson x reader #rafael barba x reader #johanna mason x reader

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storiesofsvu · 2 months

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Alright besties! The ask box is cleared out! Ive gone through all the WIPs i had in word & deleted all the ones that I have lost thoughts or motivation for & this what we’re left with! 18 one shots/drabbles!

Feel free to zoom in lol.

The three under the cut are a Hotch smut, Amanda angst & Emily semi public smut👀

Let’s get writing!!

#personal #writing update #on the docket #criminal minds #ncis #law and order svu #aaron hotchner x reader #amanda rollins x reader #emily prentiss x reader #rafael barba x reader #alex blake x reader #olivia benson x reader #casey novak #addison montgomery

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decaffeinatednightcloud · 10 months

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Squabbling with you

#Barson #i want my barson #olivia benson x rafael barba #Olivia Benson #rafael barba #law and order svu #Charmed #Charmed Finale #piper and leo

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prxdk · 10 months

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9x06 Svengali || 23x22 A Final Call at Forlini’s

#svu #olivia benson #law and order svu #rafael barba #Barson #Barba x Benson #Olivia x Rafael

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mcbenson25 · 3 months

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Unspoken Bonds (Olivia Benson X Friend! Reader, Rafael Barba X Reader)

Request: Hello, there! I would like to request an Olivia Benson x Friend!Reader were reader and some friends in the alley near Olivia's apartment building. One day, after a fight with her boyfriend, reader is drinking beer in the spot she usually hangs out at, and Olivia talks her into going back into the apartment. They talk, and Olivia cooks her dinner. Olivia asks reader to join her some other time.

A/N: This request has been tweaked with the boyfriend but not boyfriend just someone the reader has been crushing on being Barba and the fight being him leaving the squad after his trial! I hope you like it so sorry it took so long!

--------------

The air in the alley was usually welcoming. The hushed whispers, the laughter.

Today it seemed quiet. Tense.

You walked, a frown on you face as you rushed into the bar. You were not by any means a drinker, but you always came with the squad to drink after a case.

You sighed. There was no one here today and you needed a drink.

Or two or three.

Earlier in the day, a heated argument had erupted between you and Rafael. He was found not guilty and yet instead of celebrating you found yourself even more upset.

He wanted to leave. Leave the DA's office. Leave the squad.

Leave you.

It angered you how you had supported him from the moment he pulled the plug and it had all been for nothing. The weight of the disagreement lingered heavily in the air as you found yourself drowning another drink.

You loved him.

Not that he knew, of course. To him, you were just a friend. Just a really good friend he would call every morning, text every night, laugh with, go on vacations with.

Just a friend.

The whole squad knew you had feeling for him beyond a silly crush. You hadn't wanted to tell him. You were certain he didn't have the same feelings for you. If he did he would have already made a move by now. It had been years since you had met. So many coffee meet-up, trial victory dinners and late night movies.

You scowled as you asked the bartender for another one, not noticing someone eyeing you from across the bar.

Olivia, ever perceptive, noticed the turmoil in your eyes when you walked into the bar. She decided to give you some space but kept a watchful eye. As the night wore on and the three drink became six it became apparent that you weren't going to bounce back from this one easily. Olivia knew how much you cared for Barba. She knew the how upset you were. From the moment you had come back from the courthouse and left with you jacket without saying a word, Olivia knew something was wrong. A call from Rafael confirmed her suspicions. Lots of things were said, lots of unpleasant ones and Olivia listened as he pleaded her to check up on you.

Which led to her quietly approaching you.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked, her tone a careful mix of concern and warmth.

You looked up, offering a small, sad smile. "Hey, Liv. Yeah, sure."

The two of you settled into a quiet corner, away from the prying eyes and the buzzing conversations. Olivia, familiar with the unsaid language of pain, waited for you to open up.

"He wants to leave, Liv," you finally spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "After everything that happened with the trial, he just wants to start fresh. I can't wrap my head around it, Liv. We fought, and I don't know what to do."

Olivia's eyes softened, understanding the weight of your words. "He's worried about you, you know?"

You rolled your eyes. "Of course he is," you said, sarcasm lacing your voice.

"Why haven't you told him?"

Your eyes went wide as you looked up. "Liv I can't."

"Why not?" Came the careful pry.

You felt something wet on your cheek and you touched it, realizing you were crying.

You were immediately engulfed by a caring warmth. Olivia held you, as the tears continued to flow freely down your face.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered into your ear as she called over the bartender to pay your tab

You nodded as you pulled away, as you tried to wipe your tears away. "No Liv let me pay-"

"No, I think you've gone through enough today." As she glanced down at the receipt she looked over at you and couldn't help but laugh as she passed you the bill.

You looked at it.

Holy shit. 200 bucks.

"Still want to pay?" She asked with a grin and you cracked, giggling as you shook your head.

Olivia finished paying and you tried to get up but immediately felt the weight of the drink your had.

This is why I don't get drunk.

Olivia helped you towards her car, laughing the whole way as you tried to walk in a straight line.

After a five minute struggle you managed to get into her car.

"Is it okay if we go to my place?" Olivia asked.

Feeling a sense of comfort in her offer, you agreed, allowing Olivia to guide you back to her apartment.

Inside, the apartment felt like a sanctuary. She made sure you were comfortable, offering a safe space for you to unload the burden you had been carrying.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You sighed and let out a deep breath. "I don't know Liv. He probably doesn't even feel the same way. We've been friends for years and he's never show any interest beyond our friendship."

Olivia nodded, the conversation beginning to sound awfully familiar. "You won't know unless you tell him. Would you really just let him leave without telling him?"

"I-I-I don't know. Maybe?" You tried, stuttering.

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

You threw your hands up in defeat. "Liv come oooon! That's not fair."

Olivia shook her head, "It's not fair to either of you."

You were quiet.

After a while, sensing the need for a change of tone, Olivia suggested, "How about I cook us some dinner? A little distraction might do us good."

You managed a weak smile, appreciating the effort to get your mind off it.

-----------

As Olivia moved around the kitchen, getting everything on the stove, she felt her phone vibrate.

A text message.

'Is she okay?'- Rafa

Olivia wiped you hand on a towel as she peaked her head and saw you had picked a book off herself and had begun to read it. She sighed before texting Rafael back.

'Yes but you need to tell her!'

A minute passed before a reply came.

'I will.'- Rafa

She smiled as she looked up at you form on the couch, engrossed in the book, before getting back to dinner.

-------

As the smell of food filled your nose you began to lose interest in the book you had grabbed from Liv's bookshelf. You stood up and placed it back in its spot before walking to the window, looking out at the city below.

You sighed, rubbing your eyes. You knew you had acted childishly. You knew going to the bar wouldn't and hadn't solved any of your problems.

You knew you had to tell him.

You checked your phone, having putting it on silence after storming out of Rafael's office.

70 new text messages and 20 missed calls.

A new text appeared before you could open the others.

'I'm sorry for today. I hurt you and I need to see you. Let me make this right. Please let me see you.'- Raf <3

Your heart skipped a beat but before you could text back Olivia called out, "Dinner's ready."

As you sat down to eat, the taste of Olivia's homemade dinner mingled with the shared silence made you anxious. She glanced up as your leg bounced erratically under the table.

"Are you ok-"

"He asked to see me!" You blurted out.

Olivia tried to hide her smile as she nodded. "And?"

"I'm going to tell him." You said with determination.

Olivia took a drink from her wine. "That's great. I'm glad."

You smiled as you texted Rafael back as Olivia took another bite from her food, trying to keep her composure as she felt her phone go off.

'Thank you Liv. I owe you a million.'- Rafa

Olivia looked up grinning and you grinned back.

"See my food makes everything better!" She joked.

You laughed. "Thank you Liv. Honestly you're such a good friend."

"It's what I do," She said with a smile as she began to think how she would tell the squad tomorrow.

---------

Taglist: @wittysunflower, @rocknroll900

Sorry this request took forever. The writing slump was quite real. I hope you all liked it and please leave comments and thoughts as well as requests!! Love you all!

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iobsessoverfictionalmen · 6 months

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The Sounds of Justice - Master List

Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), mentions of rape (not to the reader), and unwanted advances (nothing happens to the reader).

A/N: This is my response to the mafia AU poll that I posted. It was a challenge to write it but it was worth it. Comments and reblogs are very much welcomed and I hope you enjoy the fic. Please take notice of the warnings; they are exactly the same as the warnings on this page and they will be at the top of each chapter.

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

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daddydoddsjr · 1 year

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Ship Playlists

I’ve already made a few posts sharing my SVU ship playlists but I thought it’d be good to have a post with all of them together— all are on Spotify and linked!

Bonus Nolan Price playlist lol

(Playlists are updated at random)

Barisi — Sonny Carisi x Rafael Barba

Barson — Rafael Barba x Olivia Benson

Bensler — Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

Nolan Price — Law and Order

#law and order svu #l&o: svu #raul esparza #rafael barba #svu #olivia benson #mariska hargitay #sonny carisi #peter scanvino #elliot stabler #bensler #barson #barisi #rafael barba x olivia benson #rafael barba x sonny carisi #elliot stabler x olivia benson

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the-wandering-wonder · 4 months

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No Further Questions

Just a fun, angsty oneshot I threw together due to my current Raul Esparza obsession. Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 1,211

Rating: T (angst, swearing)

Chapter: 1/1

Summary: You get called as a witness for the defense, and Rafael has to cross-examine you. And we all know how ruthless he can be, even to the SVU detectives. Hurt feelings and anger come out, and you don't quite know how to handle it.

“No further questions.”

Rafael Barba’s words echo in your ears as you step out of the witness box. You can’t bring yourself to look at him as you walk past the table, anger and humiliation flooding through you. You walk out of the courtroom, Carisi right on your heels.

“Hey, are you okay?” Carisi calls, trying to keep up with your brisk pace. “That was rough…”

“You're telling me.”

“I mean, I get that he had to do his job, but damn.”

You stop before reaching the elevator, Carisi nearly stumbling into you. You turn, pinching the bridge of your nose as you let out a sigh.

“I-” You shake your head. “Look, I’m just gonna get back to the station. I’ve got paperwork to finish.”

Carisi looks like he wants to say something, but just gives you a sad nod instead, watching as you get in the elevator. As the doors shut and you’re left alone, you feel your lungs tighten and you take in gulps of air that burn your chest. Your eyes begin to burn and you feel tears threatening to fall.

“Dammit!” You slam your fist against the elevator wall. You’d never cried in the courthouse before and you were not about to start now.

~~~~~~~~

You knock back the shot of whiskey, feeling the burn in your throat and grateful to feel something besides the aching knot in your stomach. You’d left the squad at their table, preferring solitude at the bar. You fight back a tremble as you push your glass towards the edge of the bar.

“Another for the lady.”

Barba’s annoyingly smooth voice floats over the noise of the bar and you turn to see the A.D.A. sliding into the chair next to you. You feel your heart racing as memories of the day flood through you. The green of his eyes are almost swallowed in the dim light of the bar and you can’t help but remember the fire that had been in them as he ripped you apart on the witness stand. Or had that been hurt…?

“Look, about today-”

“Today?” You interrupt Barba, turning to glare at him. “Today fucking sucked.”

“Listen-”

“I’ve got nothing more to say, counselor.”

You spit out the title, taking notice of the pinched look in his eyes at your vitriol. You’d begun to trust Barba, but maybe that had been a mistake. You zip up your jacket, shoving your hands in your pockets as you push away from the bar. Swinging by the table, you give the squad a nod.

“I’m gonna call it a night,” you say quickly. “I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Barba turns to watch you stride out of the bar. Tossing back his drink, he moves to follow you, stopping when Carisi moves to block him.

“Hey, man,” he says, his hand resting on Barba's chest. “I don't think you-”

He glances over Barba's shoulder, letting his words die as he sees Olivia shake her head softly. He steps aside, letting Barba follow you out into the brisk city air.

“Detective, wait!” He calls, frowning as he watches you walking away.

You ignore him as you continue down the sidewalk, and you hear the scrape of shoes on pavement as he follows behind. You stop short as he calls you by name, his voice cracking. You stop, pausing for just a moment before turning to face Barba.

“I’m sorry about today,” he says briskly, placing his hand on your arm.

You jerk your arm away, not missing the hurt that flashes across Barba's face as his jaw tenses. You sigh, feeling your chest tighten as the corners of your eyes begin to burn. You open and close your mouth, unable to form words that won’t end with you crying in front of him.

“You have to know that I didn’t enjoy that,” he continues, “it’s just…it’s my job.”

“I know what your job is,” you reply. Your voice begins to shake and each swallow feels like broken glass lodging in your throat. You let out a shaky sigh before continuing, “and I know why you did it. But it fucking hurt me. It blindsided me.”

“If I could have given you a heads up, I would have.” Barba lowers his head. “But I couldn’t risk accusations of tampering.”

“I know,” you nod your head slightly. “I’m just gonna go home, watch the game, and try to pretend today never happened. Good night, counselor.”

~~~~~~~~

You nurse your glass of wine, wrapped in your blanket as you watch the highlights from the game. Your team won, but you don’t feel your usual joy, instead sinking into the comforting embrace of numbness. You’re contemplating a second glass when there’s a soft knock at the door. You groan slightly as you disentangle yourself from the fabric and shuffle to the door.

You glance through the peephole, feeling a pang of surprise and irritation as you see Barba standing at your door, an almost shameful look on his face and a pizza box in his hand. You open the door, leaning against the doorframe as you look at him. He shifts his weight from one foot to another as he holds the pizza out towards you.

“I-uh, well, I know you like pizza when you watch a game,” he offers, his eyebrows knit as he searches your face for any sign of reaction.

“Game finished 30 minutes ago.”

Barba’s face falls at your words and despite wanting to hurt him earlier, it makes your heart ache slightly. You feel your anger and resolve slowly crumbling as you take in the man standing at your doorstep. He's in his usual fancy suit with a rich, brown overcoat, but his usual cocksure expression is long gone, replaced with a placating gaze and frown etched into his features.

“I was about to put on a movie,” you continue, pushing off the door frame and walking back inside. “Wine or whiskey?”

“Whatever you have open,” Barba says quietly, taking a tentative step into your apartment.

“Wine it is, then.”

You grab a second glass, nodding at the door as you pour. He takes your meaning and closes it behind him, setting the pizza box on the counter once he reaches the kitchen. He sheds both overcoat and suit jacket, laying them on an empty chair. You hand him the glass and walk back over to the couch, settling into the comfort of the cushions and blanket. Barba stands by the counter, his gaze shifting from you to his glass and back again before he approaches the couch. Your name tumbles out of his lips with a sigh, his gaze filled with a plea for forgiveness.

Glancing up at Barba, you lift the blanket, scooting over to make room for the A.D.A. His eyes widen slightly and you see his posture soften ever-so-slightly before he lowers onto the couch, tentatively settling beside you.

“Today sucked, Raf.”

“I know.”

His arm slides around your shoulder and you instinctively curl into his side, his warmth radiating through your body as you feel his body sighing in relief, relaxing against you.

“It still hurts.”

Barba presses a gentle kiss against the top of your head before resting his chin there.

“I know…”

#rafael barba #reader insert #barba x reader #raul esparza #dominick carisi #olivia benson #slight angst #barba is an ass #but not really #he feels bad #your feelings are hurt #but happy endings abound

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headinclouds-universe · 3 months

Text

There is a scene I spot in fan videos that I haven’t come across yet and wondered if someone knew what SVU episode it’s from.

Olivia walks into Barba’s office and says something like, “so we’re just not going to talk about it.

His response is, “that would be my preference.”

Any idea please?

#raul esparza #rafael barba #raúl esparza #olivia benson x rafael barba #barson #olivia benson