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vampkomori · 8 days

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We know where Idrila is, Xipe is an artificial Aeon, and Sigonia is in the Lepismat star system [theory]

interesting thing about Penacony is that it has a lot of symbolic ties and imagery relating to Aeons that have, frankly, no business being there. or do they? having a bit too much fun reading too much into text.

tinfoil hat territory though bc this is for funsies

this will be a bit longer than usual (and the usual is already very long) beause im combining multiple trains of thought. it all started with bees. ahh, bees. were getting to the bees later though. lets start

Transmutation

When the Swarm Disaster began, Ena sought out Qlipoth and called them the "dreammaker that pulls and influences the will of transmutation." Essentially, seeking them out specifically due to this transmutation ability.

To help with understanding, this is the definition of transmutation:

The act of changing from one form, nature, substance, or state into another; synonymous with transform, convert.

heres where things get highly subjective and interpretative, because the moment of Tayzzyronths "fall" is described very, very vaguely.

- Swarm Disaster, Chapter: Preservation II

this is kind of tough to parse, so ill explain how i interpret this event:

During this.. "execution", multiple Aeons are present, "more than three voices". We know that Qlipoth (giant hammer), Aha (subtle laughter), and Tayzzyronth (whimpering) are present for sure. Ena is also likely present if you presume the "symphony" to be their sounds, but there are more Aeons that are left undescribed.

Interestingly, Tayzzyronth being repeatedly struck (?) by Qlipoths hammer is described as "diluting". just for funsies, heres the definition:

dilute /dī-loo͞t′, dĭ-/ transitive verb 1. To make thinner or less concentrated by adding a liquid such as water. 2. To lessen the force, strength, purity, or brilliance of, especially by admixture. 3. To decrease the value of (shares of stock) by increasing the total number of shares.

To describe Tayzzyronths "death" as them being "diluted" is strange. Also, whats diluting them? Heres were we come back to the idea of transmutation.

Theres no direct evidence for what im about to say, so take it as me just offering a viewpoint and you decide for yourself if you vibe with that idea.

I propose that Tayzzyronth is being diluted by other Aeons. Drowning out their voice, so to speak

After this event, you discover a "white cloth" and "several puzzle pieces that sway in the wind”. The puzzle pieces are a clear connection to Xipe, implying that theyre present, but whats the white cloth?

Ena's puppet body is covered in a white cloth, and it being "tattered" is likely to showcase that they, too, were subject to Qlipoths hammer of justice transmutation.

Xipe is said to have assimilated Ena, so its interesting that they seem to be already present here. Itd be an insane coincidence if Xipe just happened to mysteriously absorb Ena at the same time as Tayzzyronth was "killed", but what if these two events are the exact same thing?

To put it bluntly, Qlipoth combined Ena and Tayzzyronth to become Xipe.

The entire thing is brought up again in 2.2, showcasing once more that any information on ancient history is unreliable because things are told to us very differently here.

Thus far, the events of the Swarm Disaster are vague at best and a complete mystery at worst. the most trustworthy telling of this story comes from the Simulated Universe, where we learn the truth surrounding this event. and as explained previously, during SU:SD we learn that Qlipoth was the one who "diluted" Tayzzyronth while other Aeons watched, and the only detail concerning Xipe was puzzle pieces swaying in the wind after this supposed "execution"

In short, Acheron and Black Swan are completely wrong here. At least Acheron prefaces this by saying "Legend has it" meaning that this is what normal people came up with after millenia of uncertainty. But we are intellectuals, weve played Simulated Universe: Swarm Disaster, and we know better

what comes after is fascinating though. stories have limited time to tell the things they want to tell, so theyre not going to waste time mentioning something thats genuinely irrelevant. Boothill being written to say that "the two leaderless Paths are working behind the scenes" is purposeful, because they couldve made him say anything else, but they chose to make him bring up the possibility that the Propagation is involved in Penacony.

Dan Heng going on to say that he doesnt see any "descendants of the Propagation in Penacony" is similarly interesting, because this is a simple, obvious surface-level deduction. yes, we dont see giant bugs in penacony.. do we? Again, they couldve made them say anything else, but they specifically chose to explore the idea of the Propagation in Penacony, even if the characters ultimately discard the idea.

Lets veer off a little for a couple of small tidbits to back this idea up a little more:

Path Symbols. The red symbol in the middle is whats used to represent the Swarm Disaster, theres clear similarities to the symbol of the Propagation (left), but its arranged in a strangely familiar, Harmony (right) way?

Theres a fascinating description at the very beginning of Swarm Disaster that, when i was replaying it, immediately reminded me of something:

Soulglad.

This text essentially describes the blood of Tayzzyronth, and by extention, the Swarm, as orange and colorful, smelling of oranges and other tropical fruits, evoking the feeling of an ocean of soda. Additionally, it seems to have hallucinogenic properties. This is consistent throughout Swarm Disaster. The various descriptions of Soulglad(tm) match the traits of Swarm Blood very, very closely, once again subtly tying the Propagation to Penacony.

basically, theres a lot that connects Tayzzyronth to Xipe, really hammering home that Propagation and Order were combined to create Harmony.

but hold your horses.

Xipe has, as we know, three faces. If they were made from two Aeons, their imagery surrounding the number 3 wouldnt be making a lot of sense now, would it?

This might be a bit of a leap, but they dont half-ass their symbolism. if Xipe is associated with threes, then why would it be..two? That doesnt add up. Theres Tayzzryonth and Ena, so, based only on this logic, who could possibly be the secret third Aeon that got roped into the transmutation?

but first, lets return to Swarm Disaster for a bit, and meet Xipe!

Xipe's dialogue is very, very unique, because it has three colors: blue, red, and white. although only red and blue seem to be "clashing". One of them is clearly Ena, but its hard to imagine Tayzzyronth being able to make coherent sentences.

Whats interesting though, is that Xipe knows Akivili, even though this is (potentially) the first time Akivili has met them (because Xipe was born very recently). Yet, Xipe talks to them as if they were an old friend.

Even more interesting is that Aha knows "Xipe" and says something curious about them: "changes happen rapidly"

"We were still negotiating last time, but this time, Ena already became you. It's a shame, my friend! But I must say Ena makes you look even better."

Xipe is a new existence, and the way Aha talks to them is as though theyre talking to who they used to be, and that someone is not Ena, because Aha specifies that "Ena makes you look even better", so who is this "you" that Aha was so familiar with, and whom they were negotiating with, before their "change"? Its not Tayzzyronth, because they were certainly not friends.

We know that both the path of Propagation and the path of Order are considered "leaderless" or... "dead but in a weird situation" if we want to be complicated. so, hypothetically, the secret third Aeon would have to be in a similar situation.

The only Aeons this applies to are Long the Permanence and Idrila the Beauty, both of which have "disappeared under mysterious circumstances" so they check off our requirements! However, we can write off Long, because according to Kafka, "After the disappearance of Long the Permanence, Tayzzyronth divided the Aeon's Path" meaning that Long had already disappeared before Tayzzyronth became an Aeon. This leaves only Idrila as our third candidate and component for Xipe.

So, was Aha friends with Idrila? Itd make sense for them to comment "Ena makes you look even better" if their whole thing was Beauty, and Ena made them "even more beautiful", right?

Fun side tidbit: Kafka says that "when the Swarm Disaster began to take hold, Tayzzyronth was attacked and killed by multiple Aeons." hm! anyway, moving on

Idrila

So, Idrila might be somewhere in our Xipe-flavoured slushie of divinity. Is there...any other evidence except the vague notion that, because Xipe is associated with threes, there must be a third Aeon?

Well, this is a theory for a reason. theres very vague implications, but nothing concrete to really support the idea. But heres a list of circumstantial evidence that could mean something:

All three Aeons (Propagation, Order, and Beauty) can be considered "leaderless paths", yet pathstriders still seem to be able to draw power from their path, which shouldnt be possible if their Aeon were really dead. Idrila is considered to only be missing by the Knights of Beauty, Propagation-bugs still exist despite Tayzzyronths alleged "death", and Order...well, you saw Sunday.

Beauty has connections to music, just like Ena (symphony) and Xipe (song), this is primarily observed in the Sidequest Clockwork: Larose where she talks about a Song of Beauty. Additionally, the Knights of Beauty also "chant ancient beautiful songs/hymns" as they roam the universe. Xipe and Ena, too, have "ancient hymns".

Although all Aeons are referred to with THEY/THEM, Idrila and Xipe are occasionally referred to with feminine terms, Idrila is called the "goddess of Beauty" and Xipe is called "the mother of all stars". This doesnt have to mean anything, but theoretically in a slurry of genderless Aeons, two of which are a giant bug and a robot puppet/floating eye, the feminine aspect of Xipe has to come from somewhere, and it couldve been Idrila.

Idrila doesnt have an entry in the Simulated Universe (which is a trait they share with Long and Terminus, a strange bunch) and we dont know their appearance yet. A bit suspicious, it could be possible that their appearance is similar to Xipe, which would give away the fact that theyre one of their 3 components. Its also implied/speculated that the silver hair in Argenti's Lightcone An Instant Before A Gaze belongs to Idrila, which happens to have the same shade as Xipe's hair.

This is again, highly interpretative, but Xipes ideal cannot be created solely with Order and Propagation, youll have a united Hivemind with those two, but Xipes whole thing is the beautiful dream paradise that the hivemind wishes to live in, which would only be complete if you threw Beauty into the mix.

Origin Universe: "I have seen wonders beyond the scope of human imagination... I have seen dozens of insects intertwine and give birth to entirely new offspring, which in turn weave themselves together like a shape-shifting rose with countless interlocking petals. The reproductive cycle of the Swarm is akin to a flower emitting pheromones and various scents... a breathtaking combination of monstrosity and beauty..." - Swarm Disaster: Sand King: Tayzzyronth, Part IV

Swarm Disaster has a lot of repetitive keywords and imagery all of which represent certain Aeons and their presence/influence. Mentions of roses/flowers, duty and beauty are Idrila’s, which are present in Swarm Disaster. In this case, in tandem with the Swarm.

Speaking of the Swarm Disaster, we are first introduced to Idrila and the Knights of Beauty through Argenti, who was released alongside the bugs of the swarm. Although the Swarm Disaster expansion was released earlier, this was the Swarm's first appearance in the main plot. This is very pointed, because it narratively ties the Swarm to Beauty.

In 2.0, theres a dream sequence shown to us by Samporkle that feels incredibly out of place, and weird, and we have no idea whats going on. But theres clearly a hidden meaning there, especially because Samporkle tells us so

Were told that theres a truth behind this dream and that it contains a hidden meaning, its likely an allegory to Penacony as a whole, but even now, in 2.2, we cant really make heads or tails of it. Likely, this will be covered in 2.3, when Sparkle’s buttons come back into play. But the thing i want to focus on is the beginning of the sequence where we encounter three trashcans.

Now, this could be a stretch, but you have to split something for these three trashcans perfectly evenly, balanced, and theyre each referred to as Serious (Propagation, wealth symbolizing excess here), Wise (Order), and Beautiful (Beauty), i just feel like thats a little on the nose, isnt it? “But why would they parallel Aeons?” you ask, and i hear you, its mosty because the text refers to their watchful gazes a lot, and Aeons.. gaze upon you. A stretch, again, i know, but i felt it was worth mentioning regardless.

And lastly:

The Mirror Holders are a faction following the Beauty, and its said that

"When the God of Beauty died, THEIR fragments were scattered to the cosmos. The wandering Mirror Holders tried their best to find clues and recapture these fragments, hoping to one day piece everything back together and let Beauty return to the world."

This seems to say that Idrila died, but keep in mind that its entirely unknown what happened to Idrila. Whats interesting is that, for some reason, their "fragments" (mirror imagery) were "scattered" when they "disappeared". this would add up if they were subject to Qlipoths ol' magic hammer and turned into Xipe-mush. The process isnt exactly pretty, if Enas "tattered white cloth" is anything to go by.

This isnt the point i was going for though, the point is that theres a rather interesting character in the Clockie Cartoon that fits this description to a T: the Mirror Princess

We know that every character in the Clockie Cartoon represents a person from the past: Clockie is Mikhail, Boss Stone is the IPC, Captain Revolver is Tiernan, and the Mirror Princess is thought to be Razalina, given her involvement with Memoria and her disappearance in the memory zone.

But symbolism is symbolism and a role can fulfill multiple purposes and represent multiple people, especially considering the very pointed imagery of shattering.

They fight against an intangible monster called "Unknown" and we know these events are not what happened 1-1 in the past because everybody here is present for the Mirror Princess' "death", and Razalina disappeared in the memory zone while doing research and we technically dont know what happened to her (personally I think this will be covered in 2.3 but this is unrelated)

Anyway, the shattering of a mirror is extremely evocative of the shattering of Idrila:

When the God of Beauty died, THEIR fragments were scattered to the cosmos.

and particularly they point out that despite the Mirror Princess' death/shattering, she is still watching over "Dreamville" (Penacony) with her radiant glow. That, in turn, is evocative of Xipe, because what else is an intangible entity that watches over Penacony with their radiance? This doesnt sound like something a regular person like Razalina would be capable of

This is just to tie in parallels and connections between Idrila and Xipe though, theres a lot of very circumstantial things connecting them, but again, nothing explicit or concrete. this is a theory. im not expecting to get anything 100% right here.

The mirror-holder gazes into the mirror, but recognizes not the face staring back.

Plus, if Idrila is now Xipe, they wouldnt recognize their Beauty in the face of the Harmony.

So, weve established that Idrila is a pretty good candidate for the third component of Xipe in Qlipoth's act of transmutation. The evidence is circumstantial, but there is this interesting little discovery i made when revisiting our favourite goddess: Gaiathra Triclops

Gaiathra Triclops, Sigonia, and Lepismat

We know Order was "assimilated" into Xipe, this is pretty much fact. but theres some more things that tie into Propagation that ill mention here.

ive established before that the goddess Gaiathra Triclops is Ena (or at least has strong ties to Ena) pretty irrefutably, but the ties go a little deeper, i just didnt have reason or context to make anything of these ties yet. i do now! yippee

Avgin is repeatedly mentioned to mean Honey, seemingly for no reason

"Avgin" means "honey" in the Sigonian language. It's a conventional term irretrievably lost in the long arc of cosmic history. - Sigonia, the Unclaimed Desolation, Planar Ornament Set

Clearly, theres a reason its always brought up, and why its pointed out, and why they emphasize that theres a reason that one of the clans is named "honey". In tandem, "Katica" means "shellslasher". This will be relevant

ive tried tracing the etymology of Gaiathra before, and although this is highly subjective, i ended up with "gaia" and "kerithra": mother gaia the greek personification of the earth, and kerithra which is greek for "honeycomb"

Sigonia is also shown to look like a beehive in the planar ornament set.

Honey evokes the imagery of Bees, which ..are insects. obviously. The hexagonal shapes of the honeycomb are also often used to indicate structure, control, and orderliness in general media. orderly little worker bees, hives, hivemind, you get the idea.

although physical depictions of Gaiathra dont exist, we know shes considered to be a "left palm with three eyes" which is un-insect-like. Thats just a side point though, most importantly is the entire honey-bee-insect association they seem to be going for here.

So, Gaiathra has ties to Order and also Propagation. But we cant forget the second part of her name, Triclops, once again bringing up the imagery of threes, similar to Xipe. Gaiathra has 3 eyes and may thrice close her eyes for you, and is also the goddess of three domains: fertility, travel, and trickery, so...whats up with that. Is Gaiathra just Xipe after all?

Yes and no, i think its simpler and more complicated than that

Origin Universe: "The formidable army spawned by the self-replication and division of the Sand King originates from the Lepismat system. Some units of the Swarm have transformed into ground combat units... They have sacrificed flight for colossal size and hardened carapaces... These units often serve as the shock troops of the Swarm Invasion, using their massive bodies to break through defenses..." - Swarm Disaster: Sand King: Tayzzyronth, Part IV

Before we go into that though, lets establish some ground: Tayzzyronth was born in the Lepismat System, on a Sand Planet later known as Elydichna. The entire planet was home to these insects, until one day an unnamed man arrived with the goal of establishing a civilization there, and subsequently caused the extinction of these insects, leaving only one behind: Tayzzyronth. Being the only remaining survivor, their loneliness made them ascend to Aeonhood.

The way the unnamed man is described is…. very familiar.

“Always managed to succeed against all odds”, “his triumphs have filled him with avarice, hubris, and an unwavering belief that he can conquer [anything]” and “He can get whatever he desires but never discovered what he really wants” Sound familiar?

Why, that sounds like our good friend Aventurine!

I know, that sounds ridiculous. But also so, so on point, this is hardly a coincidence. Why describe this random, unnamed man in such a way? We follow this guys journey throughout the chapters of Lepismat System: Massacre Saga and it is all a heavy parallel to Aventurines story: Hes afflicted by Nihility, but became a self-annihiliator in search of his lost self, successfully built a civilization yet had to watch its collapse and everyones death while he remained alive throughout it all, until he eventually succumbed to Nihility after finding his lost self and became a Sin Thirster, unable to let go of his regrets.

To my knowledge, this is the first mention of Sin Thirsters by name, tying this to Penacony even more intensely due to Acheron.

This unnamed man is such a heavy “what-if” parallel to Aventurine that i can hardly even believe it. Whats funny is that theres an allusion to the man being guided to Lepismat by Aha, and coincidentally we know Aventurine was invited to the Tavern, too. Ridiculous, right?

Well, this is getting a little into conspiracy territory again, but I believe this is an iteration of Aventurine in an earlier Samsara. We know Hoyo LOVES samsaras and theres plenty implying that such a thing is happening, especially when we look at the chapter of the Beyond the Sky Choir which ill add in at the end for anyone curious about it. Regardless, the man that founded a civilization on a sand planet in the Lepismat system and caused the ascension of Tayzzyronth is a parallel to Aventurine.

So, lets just go a little crazy: What if that sand planet is just Sigonia-IV? After millenia, the original name of the planet (Elydichna) was surely forgotten, causing it to be rediscovered at one point and re-named Sigonia. “But theres no basis for this assumption!” There isnt, but im having a blast. Let me point you to something funny:

Aventurine, completely unprompted, brings up the idea of the Intelligentsia Guild digging up the remains of the Sand King Tayzzyronth from the sands of Egyhazo.

What a weird thing to make him say, bringing up Tayzzyronth in relation to Aventurine, his remains no less. It was a lie and he was mocking them, but the mention is interesting nonetheless. Theres also just a mountain of questions here: Does the Guild not know which planet Tayzzyronth originated from? Does anyone? So much knowledge is obscured or lost to time, how do they know Tayzzyronth even died on the planet they were born? How does Aventurine know? Hes talking about a place called Egyhazo here, evidently not Sigonia, unless its the name of a desert in Sigonia? We just dont know. The details dont matter, the fact that Tayzzyronth, and indirectly, the sand planet they were born/died on, is brought up by Aventurine, whom weve established is a parallel to the man who was inadvertently the reason for Tayzzyronths ascension in the first place… is crazy.

But lets focus on this: Tayzzyronths remains.

According to the scholar, such horrors have not completely disappeared. The Imperator Insectorum's descendants remain, and THEY could return at any moment. This scholar once showed me his collection — A dull yellow piece of amber with moving flecks and a buzzing tremor. I was absolutely gob-smacked to hear him say that it is part of the "Imperator Insectorum's Prison Cell." The omniscia implanted in my forehead could not see the future of this item, which only serves to corroborate the scholar's claims. All I can do is pray in silence to the Reignbow that such a day will not come soon. - Glimpses into the Beyond: Swarm Author

In this text, Fu Xuan narrates that there are pieces of amber containing “remains” of Tayzzyronth. The “amber” is a clear pointer to Qlipoth, and amber is a pretty classic thing to preserve insects in.

With the release of 2.1, we also got a new ascension material: Divine Amber. Specifically, its “the amber that rains from the Amber Lord's body when THEY swing the celestial hammer.” Curiously, Aventurine is currently the only one to use it. Its clear that this whole thing seems to refer to the moment that Qlipoth swung their hammer at Tayzzyronth to transmute them, and similarly to how a white cloth from Ena and shattered mirror pieces of Idrila were found after the fact, pieces of Tayzzyronth were likely also left over, which were then encased in Amber by Qlipoth.

This is, once again, circumstantial because there is nothing directly tying Elydichna/Lepismat to Sigonia, except for a few common themes and references from Aventurine. Both places, however, are consistently described as desolate to the point that thats a clear keyword to look out for. Also, they make a point to say that Sigonia is “located in an unclaimed zone”, meaning that it could totally be the Elydichna Starzone/the Lepismat star system. The lack of confirmation is valid, too.

The Tear Crystal of Glorious Death synthesis material has a rather interesting description, because it describes a Mourning Actor taking a Gondola to a “silent world of barrenness” which was the site of a “doomsday battlefield”. This is a direct reference to Swarm Disaster, specifically the Gondola: Helping Gods! chapter.

Origin Universe: The gondola set sail, and the drowsy Mourning Actors lay at the bottom deck, carefully guarding the glittering Memory Bubble. But soon, the ship vanished eerily, like a ghost fading into the stream of the universe.

Meaning that the “silent world of barrenness” is Elydichna in the Lepismat system, Tayzzyronths sand planet. Note here that “barrenness” is a synonym for “desolation”, a word consistently used to describe Elydichna, as well as Sigonia, whose Planar Ornament set is literally called Sigonia, the Unclaimed Desolation. (mic drop)

I jest. Anyway, the fact that Tayzzyronth was fated to “die” in the same place they were born implies the transmutation took place on Elydichna, and that the planet was not destroyed despite everything, considering that the Mourning Actor arrives to the aftermath.

To focus on the Tears for a moment, they could be anyone’s, ranging from Tayzzyronth’s, Ena’s, or even Idrila’s. Due to their crystalline nature, im inclined to believe theyre Idrila’s tears, though. Actually, Idrila’s imagery is very similar to that of Fuli the Remembrace, mirrors, crystals, gems, etc. Herta says that the Enigmata’s birthplace is the Remembrance, and I can see that being the case for Beauty, too. “Beautiful memories” and all that. What a wild family.

Going back to Sigonia, we know there are at least 3 tribes present on Sigonia, once again following the rule of threes. Theres the Avgins (honey), and Katicans (shellslashers) and an unnamed third faction which are only ever referred to as Sigonians. This unnamed third tribe are the ones who established the Sigonian Sovereignty, though “this unity and progress did not extend to the Avgins and Katicans.”

Personally i believe the three tribes to be the descendants of the Elydichnans, each possibly paralleling a variant species of the Swarm, theres a curious part in the Lepismat System chapter that lists three bugs:

Look around while making the record. — You're curious as to what kinds of insects he's caught during the process. Origin Universe: At his feet lie a few *Larnoli Worms*, characterized by their soft bodies and exquisite color hues... reminiscent of jelly drops. Origin Universe: On his table, there are tiny *Fisgerald Bugs*... ruthless and elusive assassins... Some of them only reveal their true form under certain lighting conditions. Origin Universe: He is toying with... a *Tagger* in his hand? No matter how you move around, his gaze never meets yours as he always keeps an eye on your back. - Swarm Disaster: Lepismat System: Massacre Saga, Part IV

These bugs are only ever mentioned here, meaning there is more to them than meets the eye. The tagger is implied to have affected the unnamed man that established Elydichna, while the other two are seemingly irrelevant. This is by and far the biggest stretch thus far, that these have anything to do with the tribes on Sigonia, but the Fisgerald Bugs being “ruthless elusive assassins” is evocative of the Katicans, who are described as “bloodthirsty, cruel, and ferocious”. Additionally, Katica means “shellslasher”, which could refer to the act of slicing through the carapace (shell) of a monster from the swarm. This is wholly and genuinely only based on vibes, though.

Another little side note, throughout 2.1 theres a theme of wondering what the Sigonians (or perhaps, specifically the Avgins) did to deserve “living in a world like that” (one of tragedy and despair). If they intend to imply some sort of “collective sin” that the Sigonians must repay (for the actions committed by their ancestors?), i can imagine the “sin” being the very ascension of Tayzzyronth and as a result, the entirety of the Swarm Disaster. Especially since the unnamed man, who could be blamed as the catalyst, is a parallel to Aventurine.

Anyway, lets go back to Gaiathra Triclops!

Now that we have this whole context, what can we say about Gaiathra Triclops? Theres ties to Tayzzyronth, but theres evidently ties to Ena, too… Sooo whats up?

What with this whole spiel about remains and there being pieces left over after the transmutation of all Aeons involved (Tayzzyronths remains in amber, Ena’s cloth, Idrila’s shattered mirror), I believe Gaiathra is just that. The leftovers of these 3 Aeons combined, not enough to form an Aeon or resemble Xipe in any way, but enough to be its own entity. A left palm is pretty “thats all thats left over of them?” to me, especially since the Sigonians believe that “the earth, the mountains, and all that exists on the land are a part of the Mother Goddess' divine body” so theres a body, but its the very earth itself, and whats left is only a left hand.

Gaiathra contains references and imagery to all three Aeons, the eyes of the Avgins being a reference to Ena, the history of Sigonia being tied to Tayzzyronth, especially Kakava:

The Avgins view the world through the body of the Mother Goddess — the earth, the mountains, and all that exists on the land are a part of the Mother Goddess' divine body. And at the end of each calendar year, her divine body will perish. On that significant day, her divine essence ascends as a resplendent aurora in the night sky and is reborn in the following day. Hence, Avgins celebrate the first day of the new year through their grand festival called "Kakava." During this festival, they weave sacrificial vessels known as "Knots of Cyclicality" and toss them into bonfires to commemorate the Great Goddess' birth. - Sigonia, the Unclaimed Desolation, Planar Ornament Set

They celebrate the “death and birth of the Great Goddess”. To me, this sounds a lot like Tayzzyronths history, born and died on their home sand planet. There is consistent implication of cyclicality in Swarm disaster, as well as rebirth and the foretelling of their return (likely a reference to the samsara). Incidentally, The link rope in the Sigonia planar ornament set is called Knots of Cyclicality, and the Kakava festival is about the annual death and rebirth of Gaiathra.

So how about references to the third Aeon, Idrila? Well, the Avgins are blessed with “attractive facial features, beautiful eyes, and an innate wealth of emotional intelligence.” Interesting thing to point out about them, isnt it? They couldve just been emotionally intelligent but they chose to emphasize their beauty, too. Also, they seem to “have an appreciation for intricately patterned fabrics, as well as a penchant for jewelry crafted from precious gemstones” which i personally believe to be attributes of Beauty as well.

Theres another thing: Gaiathra is said to “reign over all matters related to fertility, travels, and trickery”, which is a very strange bunch of domains to be a goddess of, as they all seem very unrelated to each other and have nothing in common.

This is likely a reference to Propagation, Order, and Beauty. Propagation is clearly fertility, as they reproduce endlessly. Order is most likely trickery, given that Ena was the one who orchestrated the transmutation and people believe its puppet body to be the Aeon when its actually the eye, and travel potentially refers to Idrila, since the Knights of Beauty “fearlessly travel from planet to planet, extolling the name of Idrila to the beings of the universe.“ They have Idrila’s blessing, so in a way, Idrila is blessing their travels.

So! Thats just about the end of my very longwinded way of conveying the idea that Xipe is an Aeon made of Tayzzyronth, Ena, and Idrila through Qlipoths transmutation by request of Ena, likely to suppress the Propagation and keep it under control so another Swarm Disaster doesnt happen again. With added bonus speculation that Sigonia is Elydichna, the birthplace of Tayzzyronth, and that theres a samsara going on.

Heres some cut bonus content that is unrelated to the theory, which I thought were fun. They support underlying ideas, but didnt fit into the overall structure, so im adding them here at the end like a bloopers gag reel.

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In 2.1, when Aventurine and Ratio are doing puzzles in Sunday's mansion they come across statues of "nightingales", and Aventurine strangely points out that they actually look more like Torment Eagles to him.

This is a really, really weird remark to make because this goes nowhere. So, i thought, clearly, this is foreshadowing, and these statues are not nightingales, they really are actually torment eagles.

and lo and behold!

2.2 brings up Torment Eagles again. they tied torment eagles to Sunday and Robin and basically answered, yes, these statues were torment eagles, aventurine. and im the only guy excited about torment eagle mentions. i delight in the simple things in life.

this is just to illustrate that they dont bring up things for no reason, and they will elaborate on them.

In Swarm Disaster, theres a chapter about the Beyond the Sky Choir, which focuses on a pair of two twin brothers: the elder twin is made crown prince, while the younger twin is referred to as a singer. Sound familiar?

These are likely incarnations of Sunday and Robin in an earlier samsara, just like how the unnamed man is Aventurine’s.

Their story ends with a sacrifice. The younger twin drowns, and is said to have the “most moving and holy of voices that ever harmonized for the gods”, extremely evocative of Robin. Remember that in the dreammaster’s original plan, Robin was going to sing at the Charmony Festival and summon the Order, likely intended as a ritualistic sacrifice.

I didnt manage to fit this into the screenshot, but the text continued like this:

Swarm Universe: ...His sacrifice marked the end of this farcical dispute. Swarm Universe: And a crowd was kneeling by the shore, expressing their thanks for the drowned, even if they still don't know *which one* of the twins it was. - Swarm Disaster: Beyond the Sky Choir: Anomaly Archives, Part II

This is extremely curious. The people witnessing the sacrifice were not able to tell which one of the twins it was that drowned. A strange mention likely intended to mean that the roles were actually reversed, and that it was the crown prince elder twin who ended up drowning, while the younger singer twin is the one that lived. That is what happened in 2.2. Most likely the truth is that in the earlier samsara, it was the younger twin that died, but the implication of reversal was a hint that, in a later iteration, they would swap roles.

To further hit home that Sunday and Robin are explicitly tied to these twins:

The dreammaster calls them “twins of the Order”, despite them not being twins. Clearly echoing that the “destined path” one of them needs to “follow to the end” is a consistent cycle of siblings being separated.

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/theres another bit of speculation surrounding the Stellaron Hunters which also ties into my other post about the theory of Elio being an Emanator of Order but this post is very long and i cant add any more images. boo. so youll find it in a reblog from me somewhere.

Anyway thank you for reading ♥

#honkai star rail #ena the order #idrila the beauty #tayzzyronth the propagation #gaiathra triclops #qlipoth the preservation #hsr #vampy.txt

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gb-patch · 3 years

Text

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference!

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked.

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :)

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right?

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty!

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe?

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in?

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more!

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch?

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that.

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :)

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂).

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4?

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc.

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before!

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that?

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever?

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :>

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game?

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1.

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you?

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing?

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc?

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments?

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress?

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games #all projects #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever

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milkacchan · 4 years

Text

Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

• He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo

#hizashi x daughter reader #hizashi x reader #aizawa x hizashi #hizashi yamada #yamada hizashi #present mic #present mic x reader #aizawa x child reader #aizawa x daughter reader #aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #all might #all might x reader #mha toshinori

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

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suburbias · 7 years

Text

petalloso replied to your post: im just chilling listening to music and suddenly i...

WHICH ONES

to be first, to be best and shiver !! they’re my 2 favs :’) and then there was smth like we shine like diamonds ?? i think ? there are def more i just cant think of names smh

#there were at least 2 where they started texting bc of a wrong number or smth #also national hot dad alliance is now calling #even tho thats not technically iwaoi #but that was GOLD #replies #petalloso

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hyunsracha · 4 years

Text

for your entertainment — han jisung

word count: 2.3k

summary: jisung panics when he sees cute people. he also stares at them.

so you work at an entertainment store right

where ppl can buy like uhhh movies and albums n merch n stuff!!

u like ur job.. it’s one of the least popular stores in the mall so u spend most of ur time organizing and reorganizing with one earbud in listening to music

u have to wear a boring grey t-shirt as uniform so u spice things up by making the rest of u look good

everyone else does the same thing i mean … ur manager lia wears purple eyeshadow ok

ur other manager chris doesn’t even try to look good! and it’s so fucking annoying u wanna knock his fuck 24/7

random girl: hehe<3 can i have ur number?

chris: only if u sign up for our rewards program<3

u, angry bc u haven’t sold any rewards programs in a week: >:(

ur other two co-workers are hyunjin and jeongin.

hyunjin has a pretty popular youtube dancer cover channel, but for Copyright Reasons it’s not paying the bills

and jeongin is a senior in high school and this is his first job and u just wanna pinch his little cheeks every time u work together

“y/n i swear to god i’m gonna punch u and get fired rn stop POKING MY CHEEKS-”

“he’s just a little baby…*to passing customer* LOOK AT THE BABY!”

“>:(((“

so it’s a tuesday night.

tuesday nights are the fucking best (worst if u love talking to ppl) bc u’ll get like … 2 customers in 4 hours?

it’s 8pm and the mall closes at 9

usually u start vacuuming at 8:30 but at like 7:50 chris was like “GET THE FUCKING VACUUM WE’RE CLOSING RN !!”

jeongin: u do it.

u: no u do it bitch.

jeongin: *sticks out his fist*

u sigh and do rock paper scissors like the baby wants.

and u lose

u fucking lose

and jeongin just cackles, sitting down on the stool behind the registers

so u trudge to the back room and the vacuum, grumbling about how ur older so jeongin should be doing this!!

but it’s fine!

so you’re vacuuming right.

and in storms Han Jisung

yes han jisung is the kinda dude to come to the mall right before closing and go on a shopping spree

he’s got his best friend lee minho in tow, who does Not look happy to be here.

“come on minho!! i need to get season 4 of naruto to finish my collection!!” jisung whines, pulling on his friend’s arm as he stands on his tiptoes to look for the anime section.

“can you keep your voice down?? i have an image, yanno.”

“minho you’re literally here to buy a kelly clarkson album.”

minho grumbles and waddles off towards the cds, where you are...vacuuming...loudly

and minho’s like -____- why are u so fucking loud

like u don’t MEAN to be loud?? but it’s a VACUUM??

so minho’s looking for his beloved kelly clarkson album right,

and jisung comes around the corner, season 4 of naruto in tow.

and he sees you

and nearly drops it

jisung gets crushes very easily okay..

he can’t help it! the boy loves to love (◕‿◕)♡

and u look so cute in ur lil t-shirt!! like a little retail angel!!

so he grabs minho’s arm and DRAGS HIM TO where the movies are

and he panics!

“THEY’RE SO CUTE AAH I WANNA GIVE THEM A BIG FAT HUG-”

“do you mean the person vacuuming -__- loud as hell”

“minho it’s a vacuum.”

so you stop vacuuming and return the vacuum to the back room (and wash ur hands in the bathroom bc the soap smells like lemons and sunshine) and come back to the floor

u have a ton of time until closing so u just. sit.. and start reorganizing the heavy metal albums.

after a while u feel … weird … like ur being watched

so u turn around and. there they are. staring like (・_・)

and ur like “HELLO?!?!” but u don’t say anything

u just give them a Customer Service Smile and a, “can i help you with anything?”

jisung just giggles and shakes his head and minho keeps fuckign staring

mr lee i will knock ur fuck is that what u want

so u shrug and go back to ur sorting, keeping an eye on the CREEPS in ur store.

at 8:55 chris is like “jeongin go close the gate.” n jeongin’s like “FUCK YEAH” bc he gets to hold a big stick

so he’s walking towards the front of the store with his Big Stick when he sees jisung and minho

“what da hell are y’all doing?” is what he thinks but he says, “(: hi! the store closes in five minutes and i’m about to close the front gate. i’m so sorry, but you have to leave now! :)”

so jisung pouts and minho rolls his eyes, dragging his friend out of the store.

jeongin uses his Big Stick to pull the gate down and he locks it at about mid calf level so y’all can get out.

so that night, u go home and do some homework, but ur still thinking about those weirdos.

but! u’ll probably never see them again!

right?

Wrong.

u see them the next day!

they’re still watching u, but they’re closer

and minho looks more irritated.

towards the end of the night, ur Upset and Confused so u go over to them like o_o. What do u want.

and jisung goes JISJSJHTIE

and minho goes, “jisung thinks you’re cute.”

u start to blush, but jisung squeaks, “NO ahah- uh- he likes to talk in third person! he’s jisung ahaha.”

“my name is not jisung i would Hate to be named jisung.”

“WH- why? there’s a soccer player named jisung. and an idol! multiple idols!”

“yeah the guy in nct is 2 years younger than you and has the same name. and what have You done successfully? Quickly-”

“HEY-”

the two boys in front of u bicker while u start zoning out at the wall behind them.

you knew that the boy with blue hair was jisung, but you didn’t know the one with brown hair. and you assumed that they were friends, judging by the .. bonding activity that is staring at an employee.

and jisung wasn’t …. ugly

like he was really … really cute

but staring at people is fucking weird, jisung!!

when u finally snap out of it, u huff, “okay losers. we are closing soon. so you have to leave. but you’re welcome to come back tomorrow if you’re going to actually talk to me and not just stand in the corner! okay?”

the boys nod, grinning at each other before dashing out of the store.

so, like u said, they’re back the next day!

and this time they actually talk to u! Wow!

you’re sitting on the floor in the back of the store, organizing the funko pops for the 70th time when you feel A Presence.

two, actually.

it’s the two boys, sitting on either side of u.

“hi,” jisung says, playing with his fingers in his lap.

“you’re jisung, right? the cute one..” u reply absentmindedly

u hear a choking sound and then Silence

miss jisung ? miss JISUNG ?

he’s alive, but jfc BARELY

u just called him the CUTE ONE?!?!?

paying no mind, u turn to the boy on ur right, “and you are?”

“lee minho. don’t worry, you won’t forget it.”

“was that supposed to be a pick-up line?”

“did it work?”

“no.”

“HAH!” and jisung’s alive again.

u spend the rest of ur shift talking to the boys, telling them all about ur life while they told u about theirs

u learned that minho was a dancer just like hyunjin! but he went to the nearby university to study.

and that’s where he met jisung, who’s a music composition major

...and a soundcloud rapper…

u could help the laugh that pushed past ur lips at his words

“WHY ARE U LAUGHING.”

“a SoundCloud rapper. really, sung?”

“IT’S COOL ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ”

u couldn’t imagine him as a ‘cool’ rapper dude

he just looked so fluffy :(

at 8:55, the boys got kicked out by jeongin again, but they stood outside the gate, waiting for u

“What do y’all want.”

“i wanna walk u to ur car:(“

“i don’t.”

“ok minho then Leave.”

“NO DON’T he’s my ride don’t say that to him.”

it’s dark outside, and a warm wind blows through ur hair.

it’s late spring, with summer (and finals) fast approaching.

“walking me to my car...what a gentleman…”

“yeah that’s why you should totally go on a date with me haha.”

“what?”

“you said-”

“i didn’t say anything.”

minho sighs from behind u, not understanding why his best friend has to be so damn stupid all the time

u lean on ur driver’s side door, not making eye contact with the boy

u didn’t know how to say bye..no one’s ever walked u to ur car before??

“so…” jisung speaks for u, “can i … have your number? so i don’t show up at the store when you’re not working.” he holds his phone out for u to take, a sheepish smile barely visible due to the lights in the parking lot.

“oh! totally.” you take the phone from him, jolting when ur fingers graze his. u set ur contact as ‘the person sungie likes to stare at~” before giving it back to him.

he chuckles at the name, and u feel something inside of u go DOKIDOKI

when he says goodnight and walks away, minho giving u a quick nod, u lock urself in ur car so u can PANIC

u barely know this boy. he’s a weirdo. why is ur heart going dokidoki

heart STOP IT!!

it only gets worse when u hear the text notification sound from ur phone:

[ unknown ]: do u work tmrw? (^_−)☆ i already miss u

…. frick …. he texts cute

dammit jisung why couldn’t u send the laughing emoji

[ y/n ]: i do ! ^.^ i’ll see u then?

[ creeper ]: wouldn’t miss it~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ goodnight!

u nearly slam ur head on the steering wheel.

true to his word, jisung was back the next day

and the day after that

the day after That, u were off, so u didn’t see him

but u guys texted nearly all day!

jisung was just … really easy to talk to :/

and really funny :/

and every time he giggled u just wanted to cry a little bit :/

and u feel like a CLOWN bc u have a CRUSH on this dude that hangs out with u at WORK

one day, ur at work, and jisung isn't there:((

u feel a little dumb being upset about it, but u were starting to get used to the little guy

“somebody looks like a sad clown.”

“hyunjin~” u whine.

“oh no. that’s the boy problems whine. uhhh suddenly i’m on break!” he tries to stand and walk away, but u pull him back down next to u.

see, u and hyunjin were pretty close.

u two are the same age and watch the same dramas.

and ur both super dramatic

which is WHY when u got ur heart broken by lee donghyuck a few months after u started working there, he was ur shoulder to cry - and complain - on.

“stop :( there was this boy who came in every day and talked to me and he’s super cute but he’s not here today and i miss him :(“

hyunjin just …. stared at u like …. wtf are u talking about

“do you have his number?”

“yes.”

“have you texted him to ask why he’s not here today?”

“...no…”

“(；￣Д￣) Y/N U FUCKIN FOOL!!! U ABSOLUTE IMBECILE!!!”

“STOP YELLING AT ME HWANG HYUNJIN I’LL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!”

a customer standing in front of the register, trying to buy some headphones: uh.. should i go?

u make hyunjin deal with the customer while u sneak out ur phone to text jisung

[ y/n ]: where are u . no one is here 2 annoy me today (except hyunjin but he doesn’t count)

u wait 5 minutes … no reply

10 minutes … no reply

an hour … no reply

“WAAAAA ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡ HYUNJIN ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡”

hyunjin, handing a poor lady her receipt: jesus fucking christ

ur sulking as u leave the store that night

u still feel dumb, but now ur too Sad to feel dumb

u press the lock button on ur car keys so the lights would come on and the horn would sound, telling u where ur car was

“OH FUCK- jesus...stupid car…”

….that’s not what ur car horn sounds like.

u slowly approach, holding ur keys in between ur fingers

ur not afraid to stab a bitch with ur mail key and that’s on wolverine.

u breathe a sigh of Relief when u see it’s just jisung leaning against ur door

wait

jisung

“jisung?” u voice ur thoughts

his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck, “yeah..hi..sorry i didn’t text you back. i nearly backed out of doing this and i didn’t wanna look stupid.”

“you look stupid all the time.”

“jeez, thanks.”

u cross ur arms, stepping closer to the boy, “back out of what?”

“well i uh- do you remember how minho said i think you’re cute on the first day we talked?”

you nod.

“well...that hasn’t changed. i think you’re cute...really cute, actually.”

you blush again, just like the first time, “what does me being cute have to do with you standing in front of my car?”

“well, i don’t have a car, so i’m hoping...you can drive when we go on our first date?”

your heart nearly stops, but you start to smile.

“han jisung, are you asking me out?”

“are you saying yes?”

“yes.”

“then yeah. i am.”

your smile only gets wider as you close the gap between you two, wrapping your arms around his middle. he pats your head, a chuckle vibrating under your ear.

“also i need a ride home. minho dropped me off.”

“*sigh* jisung…”

723 notes · View notes

ashistrashhh · 4 years

Text

here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself

if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!

-sakuatsu-

Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia

rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2

author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.

my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!

let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism

rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.

my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!

craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)

rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1

author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”

(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)

my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,

Clipped To You by littleboat

rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.

Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.

or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!

learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea

words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1

author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.

my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother

among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard

rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1

author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.

my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!

-bokuaka-

love in the time of wifi by dalyeau

rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.

my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy

steam by orphan_account

rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah

The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean

Bokuto started to panic.

my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic??

just to miss the sun by rosevtea

rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1

author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka

brain fish by iceblinks

rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6

author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number.

my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time

-kuroken-

us three by honey_s

rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."

my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!!

Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver

rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty

--------------------

Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.

my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!

Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)

rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??

FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably

FROM: kentarou Kuroo

TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying

FROM: eita You deserve it

FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!

Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.

my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times.

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi.

MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic

rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.

my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.

rated m for by orphan_account

rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1

author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.

Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.

FORBIDDEN PARADISE

“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”

my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana.

In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka

rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1

authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”

Hanamaki hates his university dorm.

“—ru, let me cum, please!”

Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—

“—ru! Coming, coming—”

It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.

my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa

call me maybe by totooru

rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14

author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10

there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!

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collectivefandomstuff · 4 years

Note

Hey mom! I’m stressed at 1am, any advice? I’m having trouble in school via studying sometimes it feels like we’re going from 0 to 100. And I need better study habits, do you have any advice? Bc sometimes it feels like I’m so afraid of failure that if I do study to my full potential (sounds weird) I feel like I loose the excuse of saying oh I got a bad score bc I goofed off. Like if I actually do all my effort to study and do bad, then is there something wrong with me??

(A/N: this answer is so long I almost feel ashamed to post it. I’m very sorry everyone. Anyway, if you’re looking for the concrete tips they’re at the end :) )

Hey :)

This doesn’t sound weird at all because I’m the exact same way. This way of thinking is actually more common than you’d think, and is often a part of the cognitive profile of perfectionism (btw, perfectionism isn’t that apt a name but I digress. Also, this way of thinking doesn’t mean you’re a perfectionist.). Anyway, I know a bunch of people who’ve experienced this, and the common factor isn’t fear of failure, but rather what it is you think you’re failing at. For example, I once told my therapist that I was super stressed over a bunch of stuff and I also had a paper I had to get done, and he asked me what would happen if I didn’t turn it in on time and I was like “academically? nothing. mentally? I wouldn’t be me anymore.” And that’s the stitch.

The people I know who struggle with this are often (though not exclusively) girls, and often people who’re pretty smart. They spent their childhood being told over and over that they were gifted, intelligent, and good at school. And back then, that was easy to live up to. They danced through the first few years of school without any issue, and enjoyed it a lot. They did their homework, understood stuff, and were usually “good kids”.

Now, we’re always growing and re-shaping our sense of self, but the foundations are lain when we’re children. So, when people around you keep identifying you as a smart/good student, then we start identifying ourselves like that too. Especially if it is being reinforced by your actual achievements. And then, suddenly, getting good grades isn’t about doing well or working hard, it’s about identity. It’s about who you are at your core. Thus, the stakes become infinitely higher. If you fail at a math test that you really studied for, then that means that you don’t have what it takes, and that means you are no longer yourself- the intelligent kid who’s good at school. A test might not be that anxiety-inducing, but losing your whole sense of self is. So, in that case procastination makes a lot of sense, because as long as you don’t fail while doing your best then you never put your identity on the line.

(This also applies if failing at school has become synonymous with being a failure, i.e. if you’ve been taught that doing well academically is the only way to be a successful/useful person in society, or if academic success has merged with the idea of a happy future so it feels like failing autmatically leads to an unhappy life. Essentially, mental structures that lead to a misconception of the stakes involved in a single exam/paper/task.)

That said, I do have some more practical things to say here. First off, sometimes we’re in a situation where we can’t do our best and that’s okay. I’ve failed exams, tests, papers, you name it and I still have my degree in the end. It’s never the end all of things.

Now, my own biggest freak out like this came when I started uni. My first paper I went completely insane and procrastinated like crazy, and I failed. And then the though crept in “what if I can’t do this? What if this is it. I can’t handle higher education, even if I try my hardest?” The anxiety was... big bad and mad.

I should say for this next part that my therapist once told me that I have a strangely aggressive approach to handling anxiety. Moving on. I sat down and said to myself “what is worse, to try my hardest and fail or half-ass it and never be able to live the life I want?” Since the answer was pretty obvious, I got to it. I had about 5 weeks until the next exam, and I sat down and planned every single hour until then. I studied for that damn test like I’ve never studied before, and whenever I felt anxious I would tell it to FUCK OFF and focus on the task I had planned. I didn’t allow myself to think beyond that first planning session, I just did what was next on the agenda. What am I supposed to do right now? read these 10 pages? Ok.

I’ve had two exams during my studies where I failed (the second due to the situation I was in) and ended up in this spiral. And here’s the funny thing: I have a small number of courses in uni where I got a higher grade. They include 1) courses that I found extremly interesting and 2) those two courses.

Okay! I know this is already so fucking long but I want to give you some actual tips too. Number one is obviously to plan. Take a whole day, sit down and plan the next month. Consider all your assignments, when they’re due, what you need to do to study, how long that’ll take and when that is done most efficiently. Plan everything in your calendar. Give yourself enough time for each task that you can do it even if you’re not super super focused. Do not study outside these hours. When you’re done for the day you’re done for the day. This way, there’s a clear, reachable end to each study session and you don’t feel as compelled to postpone tasks. When you sit down to study, don’t worry about the other stuff you have to do, or other subjects that you haven’t done yet. They’re all in the plan, all you have to do is what is in front of you. As long as you keep doing that you’ll make it. (If the plan goes to shit for some reason, take a day to plan a make a new one. It happens).

Some things to consider:

Different subjects are best studied in different ways. I used to set aside 15-30 minutes every day in high school for Italian, where I’d sit down and read the chapter we were working on out loud. I didn’t even focus that hard, I just did it every day- the chapter and the glossary. I STILL remember some sentences from that book. Math is best done in longer stretches, but not too long. 1-2 hours preferably. Think about how YOU work. Do you best read a textbook in one go or in increments? Do you learn better in a coffee-shop or your room? Silence? Music? This can also change depending on your subject. Plan accordingly.

For reading, time your reading speed for the book. Read a page at normal speed and clock it, then multiply that by the pages you need to read to see how much time you’ll have to plan for. Round up to give yourself room for spacing out.

Plan for breaks. Think about your normal need for it, but the uni standard is 15 minutes for every 45, making an even hour. Find a break activity that’s has a specific end, for example making some more tea/coffee and snacks and doing some stretches, or maybe playing one race in mario kart. Avoid things that you can get stuck doing beyond the alotted break time.

Buffers. For every five hours or so, plan one hour of buffer time. This is time that you can use if something takes longer than expected. If you do everything as planned, this is surprise free time! :D If you have a long study session, plan 30 minute buffers every two or three hours to be used for extra breaks and to keep panic at bay. Buffers will save your life.

Make a chart with different tasks and have little boxes that you get to fill in with fun colours when you’re done. If you have to read 100 pages, do a bar with ten boxes, that way you can see your progress visually.

Plan for days/evenings that are free. Plan what you’re going to do those days, like “movie night with X”, “play videogames and eat cupcakes”, “take a long bath and read a good book”. That way, you use your free time well and can use those days and evenings as incentive.

Prioritize your work. If you have too much to do, make a list of what’s most to least important and focus on doing the important stuff first. This includes studying tasks. What’s more important, reading that text for the third time or really understanding integrals?

Drink lots of water and eat sugar. It’s brain food. I usually bake before an intense week. That way when I feel myself going down I can go get a cupcake instead of taking time to make something to eat, or worse- try to soldier through which never works.

I hope this helped a little at least :) Good Luck! I believe in you! 💙💜

#long post #studying #academia #tips for students #asked and answered #lovely asks #tw anxiety #fear of failure

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natsunoomoi · 3 years

Text

So sometimes I check wikis to like look things up about a show or series that I don’t have time to read or watch the whole thing fully cuz that’s a time investment I just don’t have but I have questions I just want a quick answer to.

The problem is, wikis are of course, made by like regular people with varying levels of biases and also sometimes selective memory of events. As can be seen in my more recent posts with SVSSS and MXTX’s works I’ve been on those wikis, but sometimes the explanations of plot points and a bunch of other stuff are really confusing and circular. SVSSS’s is being more cleaned up recently, but it still has some things that it says happened, that I couldn’t find at all when reading the book and I’m just like, where did they find that info to put on the wiki?

Like one of my earlier posts when I started reading SVSSS at the beginning, I mentioned how I read that original Luo Binghe got killed by his harem eventually and I thought that made sense cuz ultimately no one in that original plotline made choices that made them genuinely happy. But when I read the book, I didn’t see any mention of that anywhere...? I think last time I went to go look at BC Novels they had one chapter left to translate. Is it in there?

Then at other times, I wonder if there’s an inconsistency because there’s a limitation between the translation I read and like something in the original Chinese text like there’s a typo, which obviously there’s a mistake then. But then other times, I’m wondering if people read a different thing, but most of the people with a different interpretation don’t seem to be able to read Chinese and are reading the same translation as me, but I’m confused where they got certain details from?

Like for instance, there’s another part on the wiki where it says Airplane originally planned for PIDW to be a BL from the beginning, but I’ve literally been trying to find where that was stated because I don’t remember that and I don’t see that anywhere and the chapter citation that is listed on the wiki goes to a chapter that doesn’t talk about that at all. Airplane/Qinghua does say that he made changes to Qingqiu’s character that were originally more complex to make him a trash human and he did that to make a living, but I can’t find where it says he originally wanted it to be a BL theme to begin with. In the chapter they cite it says that Qinghua had designed Binghe to have an appearance in a way that appealed more to a female audience and be more of a pretty boy. That doesn’t mean that he meant his entire book to be a BL it just means you make your main character look a certain way partly for internal logic because that look is really popular with women so the in-story women would probably find him attractive and in a meta sense any females who happen to also read a stallion novel like some women read shounen manga would find him hot in real life. A successful story does things like that to reach people outside of its target audience and that’s kind of a lot of the reason why a lot of Shounen Jump manga are really popular with women too even though a lot of the stories have the male perspective in mind. The chapter it cites only talks about the actual physical appearance design choice he made for Binghe vs Mobei-Jun. He just says that Mobei-Jun was made for the kind of male character he prefers to think about, but Binghe was just designed with the idea of what would make him more popular and also could kind of be like a self-insert-ish for his desire to beat on people for funsies. It doesn’t talk at all about what the genre he planned for the book to be and interpreting the text to that much is really stretching the context to wishful thinking levels. I don’t even actually care either way what kind of novel PIDW was because it’s not actually that important to enjoying the story of SVSSS, but I don’t know if it’s the Ravenclaw in me or what, but it just bugs me when there’s something that seems *wrong* printed on a thing that is supposed to inform other people. I’m literally reading chapters at the same time as trying to write this post to find where I think maybe it was said, but it sure as hell wasn’t the chapter the wiki cites.

The other day I re-read the chapter when Qinghua taunts SY with Qingqiu’s real memories, and he doesn’t even say it then. ATM, I’m trying to look through the last chapter because there’s that one part when Qinghua shows up right at the end and talks with SY at the celebration, but even at the start at the chapter, SY talks about how Qingqiu was super straight to him. SY is an unreliable narrator, but given the context of Qingqiu’s life events that makes sense. His personal trauma because of Qiu Jianluo also pushed him away from any amount of closeness he could have with other men other than ones he already trusted to some degree. He had a lot of problems forming new relationships of any kind with other men because of deep-seated trust issues. Not that he didn’t have any, but meaningful ones were pretty absent. One only because of a very sad misunderstanding and lack of communication and explanation, but the others just tough.

But like also there’s like that SJ slept in the Warm Red Pavilion and he went there just for comfort rather than more lascivious reasons. Yeah, it’s true that he didn’t go there for those intentions, but like it’s still in the environment so it’s not like he’s unaware of what happens there. I mentioned it in the previous post about his search for means to grow his cultivation, but only to say he’s probably not that innocent and there may be some truth to him wanting to do something to Ning Yingying out of desperation to make up for his low cultivation foundation. Like he’s aware of those kinds of things and he probably came across something that said that was a way he could grow his cultivation. Desperation and this motivation I think is probably the only reason why he would be so tempted to cross that line with Yingying because he otherwise treats women rather well. She is his favorite too, so if a person who usually treats females well for some reason wants to do something that would be hurtful to their favorite person, there has to be a much deeper motivation behind that. The only thing that is a canonically greater obsession I think would have to be his cultivation level. He has a number of self-esteem issues and such a well, but his greatest pride and greatest concern is his cultivation. He is proud of his abilities, but also he laments and regrets the version of him he couldn’t become so much I can foresee that if there was a suggestion that he could overcome his late start in some way by using someone female, I think he’d at least think about it and also consider who he knows could be a viable candidate should he want to act on it and that is how that part of PIDW happened. Pain and desperation make people do things that are uncharacteristic, so it has to be something that really bothers him more than in a moment of weakness that idea is there.

Which is another point I have an issue with on the wiki because it says his low cultivation is “logically” because he started late and spent so much time with a fake master. It’s not logically. It’s factually. It’s mentioned several times especially in the extras chapters from Shen Jiu’s point of view where he talks about how he is specifically behind because of wasting time with Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi and also that he was the last to form a golden core. If it was coming out of SY or someone else’s mouth as an explanation, maybe you can say “logically”, but if it’s coming from SJ’s point of view chapter it sure as hell is not. That *IS* his motivation. He states it himself.

Also, I think some people don’t understand what it means to have a low cultivation foundation. Cultivation from what I gather according to the rules of this world is like a lot of talents we have in our world where you need to start young to be good at it. There’s a few skills that you can learn that if you don’t start at a specific time you lose the optimal window to develop your talent for it because of the way the brain functions and basically purges off skillsets you’re not using in your environment.

Learning a language is one such skill. When a baby is born, it has the capability to learn how to speak every language in the world, but as it gets older its brain purges out the sounds that it doesn’t hear from its environment and this keeps going into older childhood as well. The taxi driver I talked to the other day about this said you have to start before you’re 10, which sounds about right. The phoneme purging in your brain starts quite early though so that’s why my company has classes for Moms and their 1 or 2 year old so that they can speak to them in English to try to keep English sounds in their environment so that they can have perfect pronunciation when they grow up. If you try to learn a new language when you’re older that’s how you have accents. You don’t have the phonemes to speak the language perfectly so your brain is imitating the sounds with the ones you do have. Plus it’s a constant use skill. I used to be able to speak Cantonese with no accent up until my teens, but I haven’t spoken it in so long that slowly I started to have an accent and now I can’t say the words properly anymore. I don’t know that much Cantonese to begin with that aren’t baby words, but I used to be able to say them properly.

Music is another one and that one has an even more narrow window. Kids with parents hoping that they will be music prodigies usually start them on music VERY young like 3 or 4. It’s not that it’s impossible for someone to pick up an instrument later in life, but there’s a type of sense to music and hearing the scale and developing that skill that if you don’t start kids on it at that time, their musical ear will not be as good.

And it’s that “not as good” thing that Qingqiu is chasing. He is exceptionally powerful and talented which is why despite starting late he became favored. He is very capable and good at what he does, but he is not as good as what he could have been. Even though he is so good, he is only haunted by how much better he would have been if he had started on time and had proper instruction. A musician who maybe wants to be a concert violinist but took up the instrument late may struggle to get a good seat in an orchestra because despite any talent they have, their ear is not as developed as someone else. Such a musician would be vexed and lament that they hadn’t discovered their love for the instrument sooner just as Qingqiu is vexed and laments that he didn’t start proper cultivation development earlier.

And I’m griping about SVSSS more because I read that book so I have more points of reference to go on. But like the wikis for MDZS and TGCF aren’t much better. MDZS is maybe a little more coherent and easier to follow, but TGCF confused the hell out of me and it took me awhile to understand what was going on. I really needed it though cuz I was watching the donghua and like I think the way they present some of the scenes is like slightly out of order for like foreshadowing and other like film reasons, so I checked the wiki while watching to try to get more context cuz I don’t have much time right now to pick up another book at the moment. I was so confused though cuz like...it seems like the logic in the entries is so circular and I’m trying to keep track of all the characters and what’s happening. I hope it’s better now but at the time I was watching it I was so confused and struggling to make sense of what’s happening.

And like maybe you’re wondering why if I read the book, would I bother checking a wiki. Mostly out of laziness because I’m thinking of something and I don’t want to go find the exact chapter to help me flesh out my thought and reference point. I end up getting more frustrated sometimes depending on what I’m looking up because of the above things.

Plus again I’m like a bit mystified as to why Qingqiu’s look seems to appeal to me. It’s not just him though and like other characters with a similar style in some of the games I play. I think there’s some imprint from some very old childhood memory that I only vaguely remember. Like it’s a look that seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on where it’s from and I can’t figure it out, so I keep just going to check images to see if it will make me remember. I think it’s a movie I saw with my Dad as a young child, but I can’t remember it at all. I remember there was one Jet Li movie I watched with my Dad once and I ended up watching all the time cuz I thought Jet Li was really cute in that movie (I was also 3 so I don’t know why I’m thinking that way, but whatever), but like Jet Li was bald in that movie because it was about a Shaolin Temple. I think at the time my Dad showed me that movie I already showed an interest in movies from my own heritage, so that’s why he showed me that. But like I can’t remember anything else. I suppose it could have been something my grandpa watched because sometimes he’d watch a Chinese movie when I was playing in the living room and I’d stop to watch too and then he’d fast-forward through the intimacy scenes, but because I’d just look over at something he was already watching I have no idea what any of those were.

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woosohn-archived · 3 years

Note

1, 9 and 12 esp 12 cause i download new fonts every time i make smth and that process alone can take hours

24 . out of sheer curiosity .

send me a number: ask a graphic / gif maker

1. how did you get into graphics / gif making?

for gfx: it was for my mom’s restaurant lmao i think that was back in like 4th or 5th grade? she used to have my uncle design tarps and stuff for her, and one time he came over and installed ps cs2 on our family desktop (rmb the time when everyone shared the same pc nd it was in the living room... or was that just our family) and i was watching him and he taught me a few stuff - specifically how to make text and use color overlay and stroke JFDKA after that it was just a lot of playing around by myself.

i was horrible, i mean design-wise i cannot stand now what i used to make then!!! but my family and everyone at school was amazed bc no one else had or used ps and they thought i was some kind of tech genius bc everyone else was using picmonkey or smth LMFAO. i became the default designer for my mom’s business and all school projects SDJAK but there were 2 points where i was forced to refine my style:

my school registered me for a digital design competition in 7th grade. that mentally scarred me DJASDK WE WERE UP AGAINST I.T. SPECIALIZED SCHOOLS idk what we were thinking. got 3rd place but is2g i thought my product was so bad the top 2′s looked so clean and professional that i vowed to get better JDSDAK and that’s how i started getting rly picky with design

i started leaning towards illustrations (and using ai over ps) for a contemporary arts class in 9th grade bc i was being an obnoxious little shit wt my teacher nd ended up bluffing that i knew what illustrator was and that i used it often. so for our next output i had to learn how to use it within a few days and man. that was another mental scar HJDSFKS but! kinda glad it happened bc ai was my bread and butter for a looong time! i could wax poetic abt how much i love vector designing but this is getting way too long HJDKS

for gif-making: i started animating shortly after switching to illustrations in 9th grade, and weirdly enough it was never for video output?! it was always either for gifs or slide presentations. i started out making them in ppt, then i forced myself to learn after effects (for the same contemp art class lmao GOD I GAVE MYSELF SO MUCH HELL FOR THAT MINOR). but it was only quite recently (this year! with this blog!) that i got good at giffing non-illustrations, like actual video footages and it was for tumblr lol. i used to think they looked so bad and lq compared to when i animated illustrations, but then i finally got the patience to get vps and i’ve been obsessed since then lol

9. your least favorite graphic created by yourself

my deobirev bias motion gfx. FKJDS i don’t hate it, it was just the most rushed of them all and you can see how i just winged this bc it’s just. one giant gif. fksdjaSK and i defaulted to my “safe” animation style (the blobs/liquid movement). but yeah i do like it i think it’s cool! it just could’ve been better

12. font(s) you like using

oh man you asked the wrong person bc i, too, download new ones every time. HJSKA uhhh ig one font that has withstood the test of time for me (lol) is anitype journal. i don’t get to use it that much bc it’s a v distinct handwritten look, so it has easy recall if reused (it’s actually in that eric bias gfx! so i won’t use it for another 2 years ig DJADKS) but i love that the typeface has 4 different fonts and it’s just. rly cute okay HAHAH as for more ~editorial~ looking fonts that might be more up your alley, there’s the typeface i used for @tbzinc 's branding called ivy mode! for more basic non serif texts i default to the gotham typeface. for gif-making captions it’s always either calibri or arial rounded. what else uhhh my watermark is pixel maz DJSAD

#i gave you my whole #design history #my life's story #autobiography #ask #woo 🤎

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buckleyydiaz · 4 years

Text

if you weren’t just an online love part 2

moreid, 900 words, on ao3 here

Oh shit.

Derek blanched as he realised that the team around him had begun to introduce themselves while he had been panicking, and were all waiting for him to say something.

“Uh- Hey man,” Derek began, still too shocked to properly respond. “I’m Derek Morgan.”

Spencer, despite clearly recognising him, seemed much less startled by his presence. That made sense though, as he thought about it, Gideon had probably told him about the team, and Derek had mentioned that he was aiming to get into the BAU when they were together.

That just made Derek angry - if it was the former that was the reason Spencer expected him, then Spencer still had his number, he could have at least sent a text in warning, or if it were the latter, then it seemed slightly unfair of Spencer, knowing that Derek worked there, before he had even applied to the BAU, to start working there, especially after essentially breaking up with Derek because of it.

But it wasn’t the time to be angry, that could wait until he wasn’t in front of the team. Maybe he could go to the gym during his break or something, let off some steam, but until then, he’d act as if nothing was wrong.

Unfortunately, he suspected that adopting that act now would do nothing to help save him from an interrogation from Elle, who had been looking at him, inspecting him, ever since Spencer walked through the door.

As the brief introductions were completed, Derek returned to his desk, not particularly optimistic that he would be getting any more work done than he had been before.

Derek hoped he would be able to talk to Spencer privately, even just briefly, to see what he was planning on saying if anyone were to ask, what his side of the story was. Unfortunately, given the way Garcia and JJ had latched on to him, Derek suspected Spencer wasn’t going to get any time alone soon.

He tapped the end of his pen on his desk as he absentmindedly watched JJ and Garcia taking Spencer for a tour through the offices, busy thinking of ways to get the boy alone. There was no way that they would let Derek steal Spencer away, so he needed an alternative.

Derek wondered if Spencer would even want to be around him, if he wanted to acknowledge their past but keep it a secret, move on, if he wanted to pretend it never happened, or maybe if he would be interested in beginning to rekindle their relationship.

Although he wouldn’t voice it, Derek hoped it was the latter.

But in his consideration of their past relationship, Derek did achieve something other than wistful ideation. He had a plan, one which hinged on two variables - that Spencer hadn’t changed his phone number, and didn’t have Derek’s number blocked. The first of those was unlikely - Spencer was seemingly allergic to new technology, only updating when things no longer worked or he was forced to. The second? Well Derek wasn’t so sure. He hadn’t changed numbers since the break up, and at the end, he would be lying if there weren’t some drunk, desperate texts pleading for Spencer to agree to try and make it work. Messages that were never responded to, that Derek wasn’t even sure had been read.

Regardless, he had few, if any, other options, so trying a text would be the way to go.

Derek cringed as he pressed on Spencer’s contact and saw the messages he had sent, now over a year ago, that begged Spencer to take him back. He should have known it never would have worked, that Spencer wouldn’t want him back, and that even if he did, drunk texts would probably stop that.

He slowly tapped out a message on his phone, carefully trying to articulate what he wanted to say, something much easier said than done. Spencer had always been the one who had a way with words.

Derek Morgan: hey spencer, i know this is kind of awkward, but i was wondering if we could chat later today

Derek hoped it sounded casual enough.

Thankfully, the world seemed to have taken pity on Derek, just in this instance, because he saw Spencer reach for his phone in his worn old messenger bag.

Spencer Reid: I think that is a good idea. Do you want to wait until the end of the day, or meet sooner?

Well some things never changed. Derek was weirdly glad to see that Spencer had still maintained his oddly formal form of texting, to see that not everything has changed.

Derek Morgan: idm, im fine with after work if u wanna meet up then, bc i think ur gonna have trouble getting away from baby girl and jj :p

It frustrated Derek to no end trying to text Spencer as though everything was over for him, because even though Spencer was likely unaware of it, Derek’s heart was being pulled back by him.

He hated it. He thought he had moved on, but apparently not, and Derek knew that seeing Spencer every day was not going to make things easier.

Spencer Reid: Okay, that sounds good. Let me know where I should meet you.

He could do that, he could work out the details, and there it was! Crisis one, soon to be averted.

Crisis two however? Elle and her endless meddling and nosiness. That was still to be dealt with.

Christ. Was Derek ever going to get a break?

#moreid #derek morgan #spencer reid #fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #fanfic #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #fandom #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #spencer x derek #spencer #derek #Sperek #derek x spencer

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pandaplxys · 4 years

Text

Akaashi x fem!reader

2.4k fluff oneshot for Akaashi’s birthday! ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

relationships: Akaashi x fem!reader

characters: Akaashi, reader, Bokuto, mentions of Fukurodani team, brief mention of Tsukishima

warnings: none

~ my ao3 profile ~

Pov: You are a second-year studying in the school's library and you're looking for the last copy of a book that another boy, who was in your class, was also looking for...

"...over there dear." "Thank you." You bowed you head to the librarian in respect, letting your long (h/c) hair fall in your face and glasses. You walked over to the bookcase where the last copy of the book you needed for a research project. You saw a boy following you, but paid no attention to it, assuming he needed something from the same aisle. As you reached for the book you needed, he also reached over to grab the book. You both stopped in your tracks in confusion. "Did you need this?" He asked you in a soft voice. "Oh no, it's okay, you can have it." He stared at you for a few seconds. "Wait, (l/n) (f/n)? Second year right?" "Yes.." You answered slowly, unsure of how he knew your name. "I'm Akaashi Keiji. I'm in the same class as you." Something finally clicked in your mind. He was the Akaashi Keiji, setter for the school's team the Fukurodani Owls. "Oh- you're that setter right? Sorry I don't know much about volleyball." You chuckled. You were the one of the most forgotten students in your class due to the teacher constantly skipping over your name for attendance. You always sat in the back corner in the classroom where everyone could easily overlook you, so you were even more confused as to how he knew your name. "It's okay. And you got my position right, I am in fact the setter!" He quietly clapped, making you blush out of embarrassment. "Well, since we're both working on that research project.. maybe we could share the book?" You offered. "Sure. I don't mind." He gave you a small smile. "We could work at my table if you'd like." "Sure." He followed you back to your table with his backpack and sat with you. You both started up some small talk, learning more about one another. From how he knew you and noticed you in class, to a few things about volleyball. Both of you realized you had a lot in common. About how you both were only children and you both even had the same habit of fiddling with your fingers when you were anxious. After a couple hours of working, the librarian warned both of you that the library would close in 5 minutes. You both wrote down important parts from the book so you could return it and started packing up your things. "Hey, we should do this again sometime." Akaashi said to you. "Yeah." "Oh- nevermind... that would be a pretty dumb thing to ask.." You mumbled out loud. "What is? I doubt it would be stupid." He asked curiously. "I was wondering if you would like my number..." You mumbled. He pulled out his phone. "Well, what is your number?" You noticed your face heating up out of embarrassment, knowing he noticed too. "I- uh-" You stammered trying to get your words out. "It's okay, take your time." You finally gave you number to him, along with him giving his to you. You both parted ways, heading back to your own houses.

You were the one to text him first. You were a pretty reserved, quiet, and introverted person, but you had your occasional boosts of confidence. After figuring out what you wanted to asked him, you came up with what you wanted to say. You asked if he wanted to facetime each other sometime and he said yes. 5 minutes later your phone lit up with Akaashi's name.

You both compared what you wrote down from the book and gave each other pointers and tips. Eventually his mom was calling him to eat dinner and he had to go. You finished up writing down more notes as you put away your things and laid down on your bed. Even though you two never talked about it, you both became quick friends, and for you he was your first friend since starting high school. You got lost in your thoughts as you drifted to sleep.

At school he talked to you a lot more, wanting to know even more about you. You partnered up with him in his AP classes, you sat with him alongside Bokuto, who was confused as to why Akaashi invited you to sit with him, knowing he wasn't a sociable person. He overlooked that and gladly welcomed you to their table. You started coming to his volleyball practice, and was shocked to see you there, writing something down on a notepad. Then you two would facetime each other usually every other day, sometimes for the project, sometimes just to talk. Eventually one day at school, you couldn't find him anywhere. You asked Bokuto, but he had no idea either. He ended up texting you saying he didn't feel well and was taking the day off. You felt bad for him, with him telling you his parents were out of town for a month, he would be at his house all by himself. You remembered him saying something about his address one before on a call before. You made a plan to see him after school.

"Come in, the door's unlocked." A hoarse voice called out. You opened the door and found Akaashi lying down on the couch with a box of tissues beside him. "Oh- what are you doing here (y/n)? What if you get sick because of me?" You silenced him by putting a finger up to his lips. "Shhhh. I'll be fine, just rest for now." "Is there anything you wanted? Something to eat or drink? Extra covers?" "No, I'm good..." He said as he drifted to sleep. You sat down beside him, quietly humming a song that had been stuck in your head for a while. "You have a really pretty voice.." Akaashi mumbled. You blushed profusely in response to his compliment. As the sun set you told him you were heading back to your house. You told him to call you if he needed anything, no matter what time it was. He nodded his head as you walked out the door. As you walked back to your house, the only thing on your mind was how pretty Akaashi looked. "Damn he's hot." All you could think about is how he looked even more peaceful asleep. How his beautiful black curls framed his face perfectly. How his chest rose and fell slowly. You could go on and on about it all night. All your thoughts remained unspoken, especially about how big your crush on him grew bigger.

The research project that you and Akaashi helped each other on was due, and both of you got the highest grade in the class. You both smiled each other and talked non-stop at lunch. You offered him to come over to your house, and he accepted. You guided him through your house and letting him into your room, filled with multiple posters from famous bands and a Playstation in the corner of your room. "Wow." He said in awe. He pointed out some of his favorite bands from your posters. You put on some music as you handed him a controller to play something on your PS3. You loaded (any 2P game but i'm using Sonic The Hedgehog 2 bc that's my fav game) up and started playing. "Um (y/n), I.. I don't know how to play this game." "Don't worry, I can teach you!" You can the Tails to my Sonic!" You laughed at each other when you fell off the moving platforms in Chemical Plant Zone, or when you fell into the hole that led into Hidden Palace Zone. You both congratulated each other when you each passed an act together, or when you both defeated Robotnik and set the animals free. He almost jumped a little when you put your head on his shoulder. "I wish time could freeze right here in this moment." You mumbled softly. "Hm?" Your eyes widen as you realized what you said. "Uh- nothing! I didn't say anything!" He chuckled. "Whatever you say." You both fell asleep leaning against each other.

"Ooo, does Akaashi have a crush?!" "Bokuto, not so loud! And no, I don't. I just want to be friends with her, well for now at least." "Oh, okay then!" He didn't bother telling Bokuto about last night, knowing he would get the wrong idea. He didn't have a crush on you, at least that's what he wanted him to think. If he told Bokuto now, he would accidently let it slip and tell you. Besides, he didn't think you would like him back anyways. It was like unintentionally friendzoning each other. But he didn't think he had a crush on you, he never really thought about it. He saw you as a person he could easily relate to and get along with and share a close bond. The last thing that would cross his mind is being in a relationship with someone. But after some deep thinking, he realized he might've actually caught feelings for you, but not wanting to act on them just in case you didn't feel the same way, remembering what you said last night about him being the Tails to your Sonic, assuming you just wanted to stay friends and nothing more. Sighing in defeat, he looked through his phone and even though he wouldn't be the best person to ask for advice, it was better than risking word getting out. He called Tsukishima, knowing he was together with Yamaguchi. "Hello?" "Hey um, it's Akaashi." "What did you want, and why are you calling me out of all people?" "Listen, I need some advice." Tsukki paused. "With what?" "Um- I don't know you to say this but-" "Just spit it out already, I don't have all day." "Um- how do you know if someone likes you, and how do you confess to someone?" "I don't know, I'm not Google, just look it up or something. I have to go now. Bye." He hung up on him while he sat in confusion. He opened his laptop and began to find the answers to his questions. After searching through the internet, he finally gathered enough info to put something together. Now he just needed the courage to actually ask you.

Two months went by, and he still hasn't confessed yet. You two would still facetime each other, except it was almost every night now. You would go over to each other's houses and even walk home together. It was when one breezy day when you two were walking home together when everything changed. You had everything set up for what you were going to do. You had your note in hand, and you checked to see the wind was blowing at a wind speed not too gusty, but not too light either. You had your note in hand and everything was set. "Ah, my note!" You exclaimed as your note flew away from your hands. Using his quick setter reflexes. He successfully caught it with the right side facing up. "Perfect" You thought to yourself. As he was about to give it back to you, he noticed his name on the front of the note. "Oh? Why is my name on hee?" "It's for you actually." You chuckled. He opened the note and his eyes widened. Inside was a handwritten confession in your handwriting to him. He blushed as he wrote the last sentence. "Wow (y/n) I- I didn't know you felt the same way." Now it was your turn to blush. "What? I didn't think you would like a girl like me back.." "I've liked you for a while (Y/n) It's been what, two almost three months now? I wanted to tell you sooner but I was just a stupid coward and I was just too scared to-" You silenced his rambling with a kiss on his cheek. "It's okay, I understand where you're coming from. But now, you can be the Sonic to my Amy." You both walk home together flushed.

It was when Bokuto noticed you holding Akaashi's hand for a brief second. He asked you two about it. Neither of you knowing what to say, you both were a stuttering mess. He finally put two and two together and realized you two were in fact dating. In response you both nodded your heads. He jumped out of excitement, with Akaashi asking him to keep your relationship private. He asked if he could tell the team. Knowing Bokuto would have a hard time keeping a secret like this He allowed it with your consent. Just between you three and the team. The team was super supportive of your relationship, vowing to keep it a secret. You took more notes on the sidelines and even stood next to Yukie, the third year manager of the team and talked to her, asking some questions. After practice, he asked you what your notes were for, but you never answered him, you always told him it was a secret.

~ timeskip one year later ~

You both were in your third year together, still in your relationship with him. It was a lot quieter without Bokuto around, but after hanging around Bokuto a lot, you finally came out of your shell and let your louder and more mischievous side come out more. You cheered on the team from the sidelines, waiting to tell him about some good news. He was overjoyed when you told him on the walk home that you would become the team's manager. He was so excited he kissed your lips out of excitement. When he realized what he did. He bowed his head and apologized. "I'M SO SORRY- I SHOULD'VE ASKED FIRST-" You lifted his chin up and you kissed him on the lips this time. "No, don't apologize. I really liked it actually." His face was painted with shades of red as you kissed him. Your soft lips meeting his just as soft and perfect lips. You teased each other as you both walked into your bedroom, with him taking your glasses as you ruffled and played with his soft hair. Everything about him was perfect, not a single flaw. You stood in front of your PS3, unsure of what game you both wanted to play. "Sonic?" You asked. He nodded his head in response. You walked back over to your bed, planting a quick kiss on his forehead. You both shared another kiss as the loading screen popped up. You laid your head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around you as you both played.

#akaashi keiji #akaashi x y/n #keiji akaashi #first post #birthday #happy birthday

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hes-writer · 4 years

Note

I'm the anon who wrote about the reality-AU ask.

And I have a different view from what you wrote, because for me there where 2 major things:

1. Reader wasn't a strong woman

2. Harry was definitely an arrogant, selfish prick to reader.

I will start with 1.

So, what moral and values? I honestly don't understand that part because for me moral and values mean one thing and I don't see they fitting the situation.

Regardless, MC wasn't a strong woman for several reasons.

She allowed her pain get in the way of her child's life several times, she literally got with the first guy that showed her love when she wasn't ready nor emotionally stable, if we take in mind that she met him at halfway through her pregnancy and in 2 years ish she was already living with him and allowing her child to call him "dad". So she clinged to Connor as a substitute and staple to the family she had planned having with Harry, just like Harry clinged to Camille's offer as a way to have what he dreamed having with Y/N. None of them put their child's best interest first, otherwise she would have found a way to deal with her pain while allowing him to be part of Halo's life and he would have found a way to accept that he would never have what he wanted bc of his mistakes in the past.

And the clearest sign of that is her conversation with Harry in the last chapter. She did love Connor, but he was only there because Harry blocked her. If he hadn't, he'd have seen the text and be involved in his kids life. So, I know you said something about being emotionally available as a parent and that's my argument for that. Harry wasn't emotionally a dad bc that chance was taken from him out of spitefulness and he still tried to be there, he made a mistake but he never gave up. He was robbed of it countless times bc MC was never healed properly to let go of her personal feelings and focus on Halo, bc I can guarantee you that if given the chance, Halo would forget it and choose to have a relationship with Harry.

Which brings me to my previous point... He wasn't Halos dad, MC made him her dad because she didn't want to deal with Harry when she knew that he had a right to at least be informed about the baby, regardless of her relationship with him. In the story you make it known that he blocked her and that's how she couldn't tell him, but she kept in touch with his family + he contacted her at some point. So, she uses her own actions against him and he let's her out of guilty, showing a bit of manipulation from her side. Both of them were toxic and manipulative. Just bc you were hurt, doesn't give you a right to act as you please, speacially when a child is involved. That shouldn't even be put to argument and I'd have agreed with you more if you hadn't tried to classify MC as a victim at all costs, even when she was the wrong one.

If this was real life, a girl behaving like her would be concerning, so why in a fanfic she's considered strong? Because she standed up for herself and for her daughter? I mean, did she truly stand up for her child? Can we truly say that? Or did she allow her own barriers and insecurities surround them and keep Harry distant? Wouldn't a healed and strong woman be capable of dealing with her ex for their's daughter sake, speacially when she's in a happy and healthy relationship?

Parents are allowed mistakes. None of them know what they're doing and the greatest majority of the world is filled with people who weren't mature enough to be parents, yet somehow were allowed to.

She was unfair and subconsciously used her child to get back at Harry for all the pain he caused her.

He left her, so she didn't tell him about their baby, then when he found out she monopolised his entire relationship with his daughter and did some pretty illegal stuff, and when he committed his first mistake with the child she cut him off completely without taking in account what her daughter wanted.

Have you watched the show The Duchess on Netflix? I think its a great example of my point here, in case you don't understand it.

Also, forgot to say that she was toxic again when she kept threatening him over wanting to be with his kid. Like, we spend tons of times telling people to be responsible with their art, as it can be a door into introducing kids to things. We also spend a ton of time telling boys that they should care about their babies and be there for them. Then you come and write a fic where the guy gets threatened and manipulated when trying to be with his 🤷🏻‍♀️

MC definitely had her right to commit her own mistakes, as I said, parents will do it countless times. But I think that's a bit unfair that she gets as many as she wants bc she got hurt previous to baby being born, yet Harry barely gets one when trying to figure himself out after finding out about his kid. You mentioned that a judge would never give Harry any custody bc of what he did and that was a bit dumb, sorry. Law is based on justice, balance and protecting the victim with fairness and justice, therefore Harry would have been granted at least the benefit of the doubt as his mistakes were minor and the victim in this story is Halo, not MC✌🏽

This is a long one.

Morals and values are not fitting in the situation.

Morals are personal beliefs that a person upholds and values are something that are regarded as important. I think that everybody uses them in most of the things they do so they definitely fit the situation.

She literally got with the first guy that showed her love...

I wouldn’t say that MC clung unto Connor and got into a relationship with him right away. The first couple of instances—they were just friends and weren’t officially together until Reign.

None of them put their child’s best interest first // Reader wasn’t a strong woman

I agree that both parties didn’t act on the best interest of their child but that doesn’t necessarily mean that MC wasn’t a strong woman. Sure, she wasn’t ideal in the context of being a mother—but she mended herself enough to give Harry a chance when he found out, even setting up limits while she was at it.

Wouldn’t you think that that takes courage? Besides the preceding fact that it is courteous to tell someone that you’re having their baby (no argument there), especially to someone who has cheated and betrayed your trust, you are sweeping the pain away. MC was letting Harry back in even if she personally didn’t want to. Harry was a huge part of her life so I think reminiscing on their relationship would never cease; they have a kid together. All the good and bad of their time together will always be present in her mind.

Harry was robbed [of being a dad]

You think that Harry was robbed of being a Dad, I can’t convince you otherwise. You said it yourself though, ‘if Harry hadn’t blocked MC, he would’ve seen the text and he would’ve been a dad to Halo’.

But he did—and the following points of your argument are, in a sense, irrelevant because what you’re pointing out is what could’ve happened if Harry didn’t do what he did. These are the consequences of his actions. “He blearily remembered bitterly blocking her number just as she texted “I need to tell you something,” <- That scene was the turning point of MC’s decision and frankly, a showcase of Harry’s immaturity. MC said she had something to tell him and he retaliated by blocking her.

As well, you mention, ‘if given the chance, Halo would forget about it’—there’s a lot of assumptions in your argument because these aren’t part of the original story. These are what you think should’ve happened.

He blocked her [...] but she kept in touch with his family

MC kept in touch with his family on the pretext that they wouldn't inform harry that the baby was his. This was because of a misunderstanding due to a post on Camille's IG page. H seemed happy with his new relationship. MC didn't NOT tell him out of SPITE—it was because she didn't want to ruin his relationship with Camille.

Harry contacted her at some point // Just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the right to act as you please

Yes, Harry did contact her—to call her a ‘whore’ and stated that she ‘probably slept around’ during their relationship. [ie. Harry: Why not? Scared that y’gonna have to admit that everything you put on was an act? How can y’move on so fast and give me shit about it?”] I’m guessing that’s probably not the best way for H to ask about MC’s pregnancy and I can imagine that the sheer rudeness and projection will deter most people.

His dialogues were an attack on her personality (that she was a liar and disloyal), on the validity of her emotions (that she was faking them), and on her identity as woman solely because he was crumbling under the truth that he was the one who messed up. I mentioned before that Harry’s insults were a projection as a result of his defence mechanism. Meaning that he was—to some extent—aware that MC hadn’t cheated but convinced himself otherwise to feel less guilty. Therefore, at the end of Halo, he judged the credibility of their child.

If this was real life...

And this is a fanfiction.

Once again, MC might not have been the ideal representation of a strong woman, but she stepped up when Halo was introduced.

Imagine going through a break-up with your SO of two years while you’re pregnant because he went behind your back FOR A YEAR, amidst hormonal changes, still going to work, and trying to find yourself when someone has taken so much of you—that’s traumatizing. Healing isn’t linear. Just because you’re wounded doesn’t mean that you’re not strong.

She was unfair and subconsciously used her child to get back at Harry

MC was honest but she wasn’t truthful. Her intentions were human nature yet keeping Halo away from Harry wasn’t very truthful of her—in legalities and such.

I don’t think MC monopolized H/H’s relationship. She gave Harry a chance to bond with Halo, and they did. As mentioned, MC had set limits and boundaries when discussing Harry’s presence in their daughters’ life. It was a legally binding, word-of-mouth, agreement that Harry assented to.

[he was] threatened and manipulated

In that sense, Harry’s hostility towards MC in Reign was threatening her decision to have him around [ie. You’re not something I would take the time to handle,” // You’re a goddamn mistake is what you are,’]

I understand your concern and I apologize for that. I’m not explicitly saying that this one piece of fiction is satirical in the sense that it’s the opposite of what society chants because that would be vile of me to do. Every circumstance is different though—it really is a choice of preference, validation and weighing out the subject matter.

You mentioned that a ‘judge would never give Harry custody’ and that was a bit dumb...

That line was never part of the story.

"Take it up legally if you'd like. Want to have a custody battle? Bring it on. Let's see whose side the judge is on after they find out that you cheated on me while I was pregnant with Halo."

Suggesting that the conclusion can be one of shared-custody wherein MC has more time with Halo (80/20 visitation schedule).

#the tarnish series #feedback!!#blog post #writing #fanfiction

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mattygraygubler · 4 years

Text

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff.

“Warn me?” He asked.

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff.

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed.

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.”

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said.

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start.

* * *

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom.

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

i still dont know how i feel about this

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

lets take it to a vote

aye

nay

You

im abstaining

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late.

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand.

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out.

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.”

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.”

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.”

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out.

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.”

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded.

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter.

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others.

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed.

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes.

“So phases of the moon.” You started.

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?”

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it.

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked.

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes.

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes.

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing.

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.”

‘“Themes?” He asked.

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance.

al dont be upset

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

……….. It’s themed

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face.

“Everything ok?” He asked.

“Just arguing in the group chat.”

“Do you need to go?” He asked.

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.”

“What’s tonight?”

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed.

“Do you ever have fun?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.”

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.”

“Clearly.”

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?”

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.”

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours.

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased.

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated.

pickin up panera anyone want anything

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said.

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff.

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked.

“Sorry, can’t,” you said.

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked.

“Maybe,” you said.

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Well where are you going?”

“Congression Hall?” You replied.

“Wait, you live there?”

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.”

“What floor?”

“8.” You said.

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors.

“Yeah.” You said simply.

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.”

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.”

“Of course,” he replied.

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented.

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-”

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off.

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself.

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said.

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?”

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information.

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.”

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.”

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment.

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building.

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…”

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N.

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips.

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her?

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean?

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel?

Dan

i hate u all

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence

Tom

wtf? Why?

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart?

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?!

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know?

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show.

Tom

what makes u say that?

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show?

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

39 notes · View notes

mss4msu · 5 years

Text

“Do I Wanna Know?” (Chapter 6)

Summary: On a visit to a local nightclub, the lounge singer catches your eye. Soon becoming a regular at the club, the way you look on the dancefloor gets his attention. You begin to hear stories about the notorious crime lord who owns and operates the small nightclub. When your friends worry that you’ve gotten mixed up with a mobster, you wonder if it’s better to be left in the dark and find yourself asking, “Do I wanna know?” if you’re getting involved with one of the most revered mobsters in the city.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky x Reader

Words: 4266

Warnings: Language, Slight Violence

A/N: This is a mega turning point for the story and I’m super excited for y’all to find out what comes next! This chapter is vvv long and has another song in it because that’s fun for everybody. Peep that cute lil Rocky Horror quote drop bc it’s almost spooky time.

Read the Full Story Here

The song in this chapter can be listened to here

Your new promotion made work much more exhilarating, due in large part to seeing James Barnes far more often than you ever would have anticipated. He seemed to be in the office every day, even though you knew many of the conversations he stopped in to have with you could have been solved over an email or at least on a quick phone call. Of course you didn’t mind, as he was gorgeous to look at and a pleasure to converse with. The only irritating thing about James’s frequent visits was that they meant that Tony visited you far more often too. You didn’t know if it was because Tony didn’t believe you were competent or if James was really just that high profile of a client, but even without you letting him know, Tony would show up at your office either while James was still there or right after he had left. While it was frustrating, Tony crashing your meetings wasn’t all bad. Every time it happened, James would wrap the conversation up quickly and leave. Within 15 minutes of James being gone you would get a call that you had a delivery at the main desk. Every single time it was an order of a dozen white roses with a card that said, “Thanks for all your hard work, boss.” While you knew it was probably inappropriate for James to be sending you flowers at work, you tried to remind yourself that he was just a client and reasoned that he was just praising your efforts on his account.

In an attempt to keep things professional, you decided you should stop visiting James at the club. Every meeting that wrapped up before Tony could interrupt it ended in James asking if he would see you that Friday and you telling him, “I’d like to, but I can’t.” You were afraid that, if you did see James outside of the office, things would go from professional to unprofessional very quickly.

While you tried your best to keep James as just a client, one day Tony pushed you too far. You had been having a very productive meeting with James, where you were making good progress in liquidizing his assets to reinvest them in other markets to increase his profits, when Tony came into your office without knocking and took a seat next to James. Tony made a show of sitting down next to James on the couch, putting his feet up on the small coffee table, and staring at the projection of your laptop’s screen on the wall.

“Ahem, anyway,” you cleared your throat before continuing, “If we divert some of the funds into this other account, I think that would really benefit you.”

“Why is a man who owns a nightclub investing in a car company?” Tony asked with disdain as he made a big deal of squinting at the projection.

“Why did a man who owns a nightclub invest in a tech company?” James replied with a smirk.

“I believe it is best to diversify his portfolio in case the market performs poorly in areas he has already invested in,” you answered. After weeks of Tony interrupting you, you had finally grown a bit of a backbone.

“You mean if my company fails?” Tony huffed.

“Well, (Y/N), I trust you to do what’s best for me,” James looked at his watch, “Ah, I’m afraid I have meetings elsewhere. I have to be sure the nightclub,” while his face didn’t show it, you could hear the sneer in his voice, “is fully functional.”

“Of course,” you stood up from behind your desk to shake James’s hand, “I’ll draw up the numbers and get them sent to you. I really think this could be a favorable investment.”

“I look forward to it,” James shook your hand with both of his, “Tony,” he said with a quick nod to your boss before leaving.

As soon as James had left the room Tony stood up and came at you, yelling, “(Y/N), what the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Excuse me?” you cowered into your seat.

While Tony had shared plenty of opinions about how you were handling James Barnes’ assets, he generally saved them for when James was also present. This was the first time he had approached you about them one-on-one and your heart began to pound.

“James Barnes is a high profile client and we can NOT afford to lose him over a silly investment in an area that he does not know anything about because a silly should-be assistant got too smart for her own good.”

You took a deep breath and fought back the tears that stung your eyes, “Mr. Stark, when I make him the investment profile, I include a full description of what the company makes and how it distributes its products as well as information about their mission and the diversity of their staff. Plus I do research into how the market has been trending before even bringing anything up to him in the first place.”

“And you actually think that’s enough?” Tony asked with a sudden calmness in his voice that did not match the fire raging in his eyes.

“Yes?” you couldn’t help that it came out as a question.

“Hmmpfh,” Tony sneered, “I guess we will find out if it is,” and with that he got up and left your office.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding as soon as Tony was gone. You slumped into your desk chair and your head began to pound. You just sat there, for five minutes with your eyes closed when the sudden ring of your phone startled you.

“Hi (Y/N), there’s a delivery for you at the desk,” the person on the other end of the line said to you.

“Thanks, be there in a moment.”

You groaned as you pushed yourself away from your desk and forced yourself to stand up. You had to steady yourself on the desk as your head pounded harder from the slight change in elevation. You slowly walked to the front desk, the knowledge that you had flowers waiting for you not even making you feel better. You got to the front desk and were slightly taken aback by the lack of roses waiting for you.

“This just came for you,” the receptionist said as they pulled a box from the table that had a singular white rose tied to it.

“Thanks,” you said with slight confusion in your voice as you took the box and walked back to your office.

You sat down at your desk and carefully removed the rose from the top of the box and set it gently down next to you. You took the lid off the box and found a card that read: “Get on your dancing shoes. See you tonight, boss.” You unfolded the tissue paper in the box and inhaled sharply. Inside lay a beautiful pair of classic black Louboutin pumps with the iconic red soles. You wiped your hands off on your pants before you dared to take them out of the box to look closely at them. They were the most beautiful shoes you had ever seen and you only pulled your eyes away from them when your cell phone began to vibrate violently on your desk. You carefully set the shoes back in the box and picked up your phone. You had multiple notifications from Instagram:

WhiteWolfandtheHowlers messaged you:

“Hey, doll.

I’ve got a table reserved for you tonight.

After that beatdown Tony gave you, I figured you could use a night filled with a bit of debauchery.

Don’t forget to wear the new shoes.”

You cocked your head to the side as you began to question how James knew Tony gave you a beatdown today, as he should have been long gone by the time Tony really went in on you. You took a deep breath, your fingers dancing above the keyboard as you tried to decide what to say back.

You finally typed and sent back:

“You know you have my work number, you could have just called. I don’t think I should come out tonight.”

The screen showed that your message was immediately read and a text bubble soon appeared, quickly replaced by the message:

“If I called you on the office phone, who knows who may have been listening in. Plus I couldn’t have called you doll while you’re at work, could I boss? Show starts at 9 in case you’ve forgotten.”

“You mean listened in like you somehow did to know Tony went off on me today?” you typed before erasing it and instead sending:

“I suppose this is true. Yes, I know what time the show starts, I just don’t know if I should come.”

“Why is that?”

You gulped, your head beginning to pound again as you sent:

“You’re my client, Mr. Barnes. I don’t want to disrupt that partnership by socializing outside of business hours.”

“Afraid you’ll fall for me, doll?”

Your heart fluttered and you took a second to reply:

“I just don’t want to get into trouble with my superiors.”

“Based on how earlier went, I’d say you already are. See you at 9, doll.”

You let his message sink in. He wasn’t wrong, you had already pissed Tony off enough and didn’t you owe it to yourself to actually enjoy your weekends instead of putting in extra work to try to prove yourself? Especially since trying to prove yourself didn’t seem to be working anyway.

Ultimately you decided to send:

“See you at 9.”

He liked the message immediately but did not respond.

You looked at the clock on your wall and your heart rate escalated as you realized it was already 6:30pm. You needed to eat, get home, change, and get to the club all in just over 2 hours and Friday traffic was always awful. You wanted to invite your friends to join you, but you knew at this short of notice there was no way they would be able to come. You quickly packed up your things, gently placing the shoe box in your bag for safekeeping, and called your car to pick you up. Your driver was waiting for you when you got downstairs.

“Hi, Peter, how’s it going today?” you asked as you climbed into the backseat.

“Hi, Ms. (Y/L/N). I’m doing alright,” he replied nervously.

“Peter, Tony’s not coming with, you can relax.”

You had learned very quickly that Tony was strict with the drivers and did not allow them to share any information about their personal lives or really speak at all during drives. Each drive with Peter Parker began with the Stark formalities until you were far enough away that there was no chance Tony would be able to join in on the ride. Once you were safe, Peter would finally let his guard down.

After getting 10 minutes away from the office, Peter took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, (Y/N), I’m doing alright. I’ve been taking night classes recently and I think they’re going really well.”

“What are they in?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of photography and journalism. I’d really like to contribute to the local newspaper, but so far they keep turning me down.”

You continued chatting for the remainder of your ride, which took far longer than you would have liked due to the traffic. By the time Peter pulled the car up to your apartment, it was already 8:00pm.

“Shit, that took forever. Peter, I need a ride to Mr. Barnes’ club tonight and need to be there before 9:00pm would it be terrible to have you just wait here for a bit so I can run up and change and then you can just zoom me over there quickly? Maybe we can go through a drive through for some food on the way?”

“Sure thing, (Y/N).”

“Alright, thank you Peter! Be right back,” you hopped out of the car and quickly got to your apartment and stripped off your clothes, pawing through your closet before finding one a suitable black dress for the night. You ran into the bathroom and touched up your makeup, applying some glittery eyeshadow and a fresh layer of mascara. You then went to the door and gingerly took the shoe box from your bag. You held your breath as you opened the box, still in disbelief that James had spent that much money on you. You slipped the shoes on and let out a long sigh at how perfectly they fit and surprisingly comfortable they were. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before grabbing your wallet and keys, shoving them in your purse, and running out the door.

“Thanks for waiting, Peter,” you said as you got back into the car, your heart beating rapidly as you saw that it was already 8:15pm.

Peter quickly hung up a phone call and looked anxiously at you in the rearview mirror, “Of course, Ms. (Y/L/N).”

You were too preoccupied with being late to even notice Peter’s change in tone. He began to drive and stopped at a fast food drive-thru so you could order a meal, which you ate as carefully as you could to avoid spilling as Peter navigated the start and stop traffic to the club. You arrived to the club at 8:55pm, which was cutting it far too close for your taste.

“Thanks Peter! Is it alright if I call for a ride home later?”

“That’s what I’m here for, Ms. (Y/L/N),” Peter replied.

“Great, thank you!” you yelled back at the car as you jumped out.

You began to walk toward the door and couldn’t help your mouth dropping open at the line that wound its way down the sidewalk.

“Damn,” you muttered to yourself as you walked past the door and toward the end of the line.

“Hey! (Y/N)! Get back here!” you heard a voice yell behind you.

You quickly turned around and saw Steve waving at you from behind the bouncer. You walked up to the door and the bouncer stepped aside for you after getting a knowing look from Steve.

“Hi, Steve,” you said as he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside, “Don’t I need to wait in line or at least be carded?” you asked guiltily, thinking of all the people waiting outside.

“Funny,” Steve replied with a smile, leading you to the front of the club.

Steve snapped his fingers at the bar as you passed it and you were immediately followed by a waiter with a tray of drinks.

“Here you are,” Steve gestured to the table right in front of the stage, taking drinks off the tray the waiter had brought and setting them down in front of you.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I can drink all of these,” you said hesitantly.

“We were unsure if you would have any guests joining you.”

“Just me tonight,” you replied.

“Well, drink what you like and someone will come back later to clean up the remnants,” Steve said before walking away.

You looked at the array of drinks on the table. There were glasses of wine, a few mixed drinks, and a couple cans of beer. You decided after everything you had been through that day, you’d start off strong and grabbed what seemed to be a Manhattan directly in front of you. You finished it in a few gulps. You moved on to the chocolate martini, taking a long swig of it and almost choking as the sound of Steve yelling out the announcement for the White Wolf and the Howlers startled you.

The curtains whisked open and directly in front of you stood James Barnes, who was looking you straight in the eyes. He gave you a wink before he started to sing.

I’m a puppet on a string

Tracy Island, time-traveling

Diamond cutter-shaped heartaches

Come to find you four in some velvet morning

Years too late, she’s a silver lining

Lone ranger riding through an open space

In my mind when she’s not right there beside me

I go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself, all I

Wanna hear her say is “Are you mine?”

Well, are you mine?

Are you mine?

Are you mine? Woah, ah

James didn’t break eye contact with you, and licked his lips at you after asking “are you mine” before moving on to the next verse.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I need the deep end

Keep imagining meeting, wished away entire lifetimes

Unfair we’re not somewhere misbehaving for days

Great escape, lost track of time and space

She’s a silver lining climbing on my desire

You could’ve sworn his eyes were getting darker as he continued to sing. He began to slowly grind on his microphone stand and it had you feeling butterflies in your stomach.

And I go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself, all I

Wanna hear her say is “Are you mine?”

Well, are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

Are you mine? (Or just mine tonight?)

Are you mine? (Are you mine, mine?)

And the thrill of the chase moves in mysterious ways

So in case I’m mistaken I

Just wanna hear you say, “You got me, baby

Are you mine?”

She’s got a silver lining

Lone ranger riding through an open space

In my mind when she’s not right there beside me

I go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself, all I

Wanna hear her say is “Are you mine?”

Well, are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

Are you mine? (Or just mine tonight?)

Are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

(Or just mine tonight?)

You were completely mesmerized by James Barnes. James winked at you as the curtain shut in front of him. You weren’t sure if you had accidentally spilled a drink on yourself given the hypnotic state James had you in or if you were slightly dampened for another reason.

You finished the martini and moved on to a glass of red wine as you sat waiting for James to come out to see you like he had done last time. Two bands and two glasses of wine later and James still hadn’t come to join you or whisk you away to dance. You decided you should probably use the bathroom as the next band set up. A waiter directed you to the area near the bar and you quickly used the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror, flattened your hair down, and adjusted your boobs to get them popping more.

As you exited the bathroom, you were feeling a bit brave and a whole lot of reckless thanks to how much you had to drink. Rather than return to your table, you decided that, since James didn’t come to you, you would go to him. You snuck around the side of the dance floor to the door that led to the backstage area. You gave a quick look around before opening the door and quickly going through it. It took your eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting. The loudness of the new band starting their set caused you to slightly stumble as you walked up the few stairs right inside the door. Your eyes becoming more comfortable in the dark lighting, you walked down the hallway. There were more rooms than you had expected, and they were all ajar enough that you could see bands warming up and hanging out inside of them. You continued past the bands, smiling to yourself at the thought of surprising James.

How should I greet him? You wondered, A handshake? A hug? A kiss? Just thinking of his lips against yours made you shiver with anticipation.

You felt like you had been walking for ages and you still hadn’t come across James. You thought about giving up when you reached a closed door at the end of the hallway. It was removed from the other rooms and the first door that had been completely shut. You stood there for a moment and your heart fluttered as you heard James’s voice from behind the door. You knocked lightly on the door and waited to hear him invite you in. You heard nothing, so you knocked a little harder. You still heard nothing, so you tried the doorknob. It turned. You took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

You froze and instantly sobered up as you saw what was happening inside the room. Steve was repeatedly punching a man who was tied up to a chair as James and another man tied to a chair watched.

“Tell. Me. What. You. Know.” James sneered at the man not getting punched with a tone that made your skin crawl.

“Never,” the man with a thick Russian accent responded before spitting on the ground.

“Looks like we need to try something else then,” James retorted as he smacked the man upside the head and furiously spun his chair around so they were face to face. He pulled a pair of brass knuckles from his pocket and made an ordeal of putting them on, “I’ll give you one more chance to talk.”

“Fuck you!” the Russian yelled, spitting again.

“So be it,” James said before landing a hard blow against the Russian’s jaw, “Steve, you can stop, that one looks like he’s about gone. He probably doesn’t know shit anyway.”

“Yes sir,” Steve huffed, stopping his own blows and turning to face James as he landed another punch to the Russian.

Steve’s mouth fell open as he looked past James and saw you, slack jawed and with tears brimming in your eyes.

“Shit...Buck, stop!” Steve yelled over the sound of the Russian’s scream of pain from a hard hit to the side of the head.

“Why?” James grunted.

All Steve could do was point. James turned around and the sneer on his lips quickly changed into a look of panic.

“Deal with this,” he muttered, as he slipped off his brass knuckles.

Your fight or flight response kicked in and you ran away. You fumbled through your purse for your phone and dialed Peter’s number. Although your mind seemed clear of the alcohol, your body was not and in your attempt to call Peter you tripped and fell. James caught up with you and joined you on the ground.

“(Y/N), you’re bleeding. Let me help,” James said, looking at the huge gash on you had gotten on your knee, pulling the handkerchief from his pocket, and placing it against the cut.

You winced, not from the pain, but from his touch against you, “Get away from me,” you choked out as the tears began to burn out of your eyes. You grabbed your phone and heard Peter asking for you on the other end, “Come get me, Peter,” you said, stifling your cries and quickly hanging up

“(Y/N), what you saw back there…”

“I don’t care, just get away from me!” you yelled, pushing him away from you and trying to hoist yourself up off the ground.

“Please, (Y/N), let me help you,” James said, standing up and offering you his hand.

You got yourself to a standing position on your own, “James stay the fuck away from me,” you heaved through sobs as you stumbled down the hallway.

Through your tears you fumbled down the steps and took a deep breath in before going through the door. You knew James was behind you the whole time, but you didn’t dare turn around and he didn’t dare speak again. You were afraid you would cry harder or maybe even throw up if you made eye contact with him. You tried to go as nonchalantly, but quickly through the club as you could as your knee gushed blood down your leg with every step. You got to the front door and pushed it open. You saw your car waiting and ran to get in. Rage and frustration had deafened you, but as you struggled to buckle up in the backseat, you faintly heard Peter talking to someone.

“Drive Peter!” you yelled.

Peter quickly peeled out from his spot and began to drive you home. The ride was silent, which you were thankful for. Your anger and fear fought each other the whole way and you didn’t know which emotion should win. You were afraid of everything that you had seen and angry at James for being involved in whatever it was he was involved in. As much as you hated to be, you were also angry at yourself for letting your guard down and going to look for a man who was involved in some fucked up shit.

“Here you are,” Peter said as he pulled up to your apartment.

“Thanks,” you mumbled as you got out of the car.

You quickly got your keys out and let yourself into your apartment. You kicked the shoes James had bought you off and didn’t care where they landed. You ran into the bathroom and immediately threw up into the toilet. You lay on the bathroom floor, nauseous and crying before passing out.

CHAPTER SEVEN

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#fan fic #au #mobster au #mobster bucky #gangster bucky #bucky barnes x reader #white wolf #james barnes x reader #bucky barnes #do i wanna know

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