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kaybreezy3000 · 4 months

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Bad Things (Five Hargreeves/Reader)

~Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, the inability to distinguish between right and wrong, poor behavioral controls, and behaviors that contradict social norms which then commonly result in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior.

Enter, Five Hargreeves, everyone's favorite little psycho.

(Chapter One and Chapter Two Post)

Summary:

Having been left in a new world with nothing, his mental state growing more and more dangerous, Five Hargreeves finds something he feels will keep him from going off the deep end, but just like in so many things he thinks that are wrong, the fact that he thinks this already proves he has.

Note~The female character is written so that she's part OC but easily filled in as you or reader insert. When we are in Five's side of things, the OC/Reader/You will be referred to as 'her/she/the girl.'

Characters: Number Five, Dolores, unnamed Female OC/Reader insert, Klaus, and Diego

Warnings and tags: Mental disintegration, psychological trauma, effects of isolation, masturbation, non-consensual voyeurism, explicit sexual content, bondage, POV altering, touch starved, obsessive behavior, inanimate object love, and many other sexually deviant themes all mixed with a lovely twist that you will hopefully enjoy...

-comment if you want to be added to tag list (New chapters will be added weekly and this one is 7 chapters total with a Word Count of just under 50K) 😉

Chapter One: Dark Side

Taking the stairs since the elevator is broken and he can no longer teleport at will, Five ambles, step by step, up to his apartment on the seventh floor. For a young man, Five feels so old and not just mentally like he actually is at the cognitive age of sixty.

With no end of world event in the foreseeable future, as incredible as that is, living in Reginald Hargreeves’s ideal version of the world has left Five with next to nothing.

As far as the world’s concerned, Number Five Hargreeves is dead. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing because Five doesn’t want people to know about him being back, but it is a problem if you’re not dead and you need to find work to feed yourself.

If not for Klaus’s help getting him fake ids and a shitty job doing data entry in the basement of a huge office building, Five wouldn’t even have a roof over his head.

Five’s polished black dress shoes sidestep around piles of trash as he listens to voices of people screaming and yelling at each other behind the worn and dented doors he passes on the way to his own.

He does not live in a nice building or a nice area of the city. His low-income housing is a far cry from the life he’d once lived behind the secretive walls of The Umbrella Academy. His childhood home still exists, though neither he nor any of his siblings are welcome there.

In the new world of Sir Reginald Hargreeves, the status quo remains as it was before, with most having very little, while a very few have a lot. This time Reggie himself has a lot more.

Nearly half the buildings in the city’s skyline bare Five’s adoptive father’s name, but it would do him no good to go to him for help. Luther did, and not even getting allowed to see their dad face to face, he got thrown out on the street by security guards in front of the glamours monstrosity known as The Hargreeves Internation building, which is Reginal's current residence and seat of power.

In this world, the relationship between the world-renowned inventor and his remaining adoptive children was severed years ago, just as it was in their real timeline.

Most of Five’s siblings had places to go though, and that was in part how it was so easy for them to walk away. They still had their various places they crashed at or rented.

For all Five knew, it sounded like Allison still had her life, including her daughter back, but besides that, he knew nothing about her. After turning on them, she didn’t look back. Like with her and most the rest of his family, it had been radio silence when it comes to communication with him since the day that they walked away to move on with their life.

As much as Five needed it in that first year, after everything their father did to them, he vowed he’d never go to him for help again, so he remained dead.

After carefully traversing the disgusting hallway that is the only way to the place that he calls home, entering the one room flat, Five is greeted with the polluted smell of city air blowing in from the window he left open.

He sees Dolores waiting for him. She is still tucked in under the blanket on his bed, just where he left her.

‘I am so glad you're home! ’ she brightly chirps.

Other than her and the sense of love and radiating warmth that Five creates out of her, there is nothing here for him. Five has no one.

There is nothing of color, or personal flair or tasteful decor inside his residence. The furnishings weren’t even picked by him. They were discarded here. They are faded, old, and beaten and used, just like him.

Five feels ancient and worn, but physically he is not. His costly tailored suits are fitted to perfection, and they only make him stand out even more in stark contradiction to everything else within his personal space.

“Hello, Dolores.”

His reply is flat and lifeless, but he can’t help it.

Terribly thirsty, Five crosses the room, moving to his kitchen. He reaches up, taking a milky looking etched glass out of the cabinet, then he places it under the facet at his sink.

Five took the subway most of the way home like he always does, but he still had to walk six long blocks after that. He tips back the entire glass of water he just poured, chugging it in a matter of seconds. He can’t help the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth when he thinks about what he did for his family and the heavy cost he’s paid for it. No matter the amount of time that passes, it never seems to make his resentment fade.

Since being abandoned by his siblings in Oblivion Park the night their lives were given back to them by Allison and Reginald’s collaborative effort to fuck them over, Five has been dealing with the repercussions of his many mistakes and doing it alone. It has taken less than two years for Five to age from a scrawny pubescent thirteen-year-old, to a man in his very early twenties. In this utopian world, The Commission is no more, and the treatments they gave him back when he was theirs have completely run their course and are no longer unnaturally crawling through his body keeping him from aging.

After being plucked from the apocalypse, The Handler wasted no time adding to her strict requirement that he worked exclusively for her despite the fact that his contract didn't say that. She informed Five that since she was the only reason he was saved, not only was he hers, and not just in an advisory capacity, unless he’d prefer to die alone, he’d be undergoing various improvements. Not thinking what that meant, being all that mattered was that he saves himself first so he could save everyone else, he agreed.

The very day he got picked up, after that conversation and being treated to his first real shower in forty years and a real meal that he embarrassingly devoured like the starving man he was, he foolishly started to think things were actually going to be okay for once. Then, with that silly notion still tickling at his brilliant yet still somewhat childlike mind, things changed very quickly.

The Handler informed Five that he was scheduled for operations starting immediately. When he nervously declined, saying he didn’t want them, she tartly replied that she’d be happy to take him back to his wasteland and cockroaches, and that’s when Five realized he held absolutely zero power in the hasty agreement he’d made.

Through her perfectly fluid, red lipped charm, The Handler laced every word she ever had for him with contempt and malicious intent as she continuously threatened him with thinly veiled cruelty. Terrified as if he were a helpless child, though schooling his wrinkled features not to show it, Five followed her like a lost puppy, sickness from the amount of food he’d just eaten adding to his terror as they stripped him naked, then strapped him down to an operating table.

With little explanation other than adjustments were often made, especially to older recruits, Five fought every instinct not to blink himself to safety as he impotently watched the room fade away from the sedative being injected in his arm.

Even if he had blinked or could have at that point, there was nowhere safe for him to go.

Waking in recovery, at first, Five didn’t feel any different. He was extremely sore and bruised, but not different. Not till later was he told he wouldn’t age, being that he’d been given a treatment that would prevent it for many years to come. When it started to wear off, and that would be based on factors they didn’t make known to him, he’d be given more, thus allowing him to continue his service for them indefinitely even though he’d only agreed to a five-year contract.

Five realized that now that they had him, they weren't going to just let him walk away, but still he held on to the hope that he'd figure out how to get back. Defiantly he marched on thinking he'd get the better of them.

Their special therapies made him stronger, more resilient, and he even healed quicker because his metabolism was working much faster than it was before. It all seemed like a good thing.

Five wanted to live.

He had to figure out how to get back to his family and save them and everyone else. He needed time, just a little more time and he’d have it. He was finally strong, not sick, not starving or fighting everyday just to make it to the next.

This was good.

Only it wasn’t.

There was more they did to him that day, only he didn’t know about it till later.

When asked if he could perform the tasks required to work for them, Five had confidently said yes. He told his recruiter that he had killed before.

Through their missions as children, the idea of killing was something that never made him think twice because it was all in the name of good. They were the heroes. Dad had told them they were born extraordinary for a reason. They had a purpose.

Five always thought that the purpose was to help people. Later he realized that was very naïve of him to think because Reginald only had them on missions that benefited him in some way. They did not go around saving the world from the everyday tragedies that were always waiting around every corner.

Not till they ended up in the Sparrow's world and after Reginald drained them to nearly the point of death did Five realize the purpose of them being born the way was so they could be used like extraterrestrial batteries to fuel the reset of the universe.

Just like with The Commission, everything with Sir Reginald Hargreeves was done for a reason and those reasons held many gray areas.

As months passed and his training with his new employer completed, Five found out just what it meant to work in corrections for a time preservation organization whose goal was to maintain what they felt was the generally accepted timeline. Human life meant little to nothing to them on a one-to-one scale. That meant more death. Lots more death.

Each time that Five pulled the trigger or had to take someone’s life, watching the color fade from their purple oxygen-deprived flesh when he squeezed the life out of them, he told himself it was all to get back. When he got back, he’d figure this all out. It would be okay.

It wasn’t okay.

Neither was Five.

Along with their other thoughtful enhancements, The Commission gave him something that would never wear off. By the time he finally was ready to make the enormous jump through time and space to go back to his family, Five was not the same person. He hadn’t been since he woke up on that operating table over four years before. That was because while he was out, they blended his DNA with that of several well-known notoriously brutal serial killers, and it was all in the name of making him a better assassin.

Five had become mercilessly cold, and not the way he was as an arrogant child who thought he was better than everyone. No, this near emotional opposite of snobbery and having any sort of compassion for his fellow man was different.

In four years, he’d killed so many times he’d stopped counting. In the beginning Five still felt it, the remorse, and the nausea when he thought of what he’d done. He’d break down in fits of tears and shuddering sobs when he was alone in his tiny Commission assigned apartment, nearly suffocating from the weight of his shame.

They were killing innocent people and he let them turn him in to the deadly weapon they were using to do it.

By the time Five was done, his mind had altered how he processed things. It happened in part because of the alterations they made to his DNA, but it was also his own survival method, allowing him to continue; to keep waking up and to keep fighting for what he had to see through to the end.

When The Handler gave him a job as she ran her finger condescendingly across his cheek in that wicked way of hers, it let him know that he was nothing more than her pet and her vicious executioner. Five accepted it. He even relished in the peaceful quiet of death and the simplicity of delivering it so efficiently.

The Handler was extremely pleased at how she’d manipulated him so easily. Five knew that, but even knowing he was being used, Five was proud of himself. He savored her praise like the lost child he still was inside. Even old and gray, Five was still the boy who longed to be noticed and loved.

When Five took out the board of directors, he’d done it for her, but he’d also done it for himself. In that moment, his mind was on another level of depraved, finding joy in the sick pleasure he felt as the blade of his ax sliced through their flesh and the spray of the warm blood spattered his face.

Even before that happened, Five had lied to Luther when he told him he didn’t enjoy it and that’s because he was trying to pretend that he was the person he wished he still was.

Even as he lied, Five's words came out lack of any emotion, dead and toneless. Luther didn’t seem to notice. Like the rest of his family, they didn’t know him anymore. They had no idea how different their dad's Number Five had become, and they didn’t seem to care to know him, though all Five had ever wanted was to get them back.

Five was aware that killing was one of the only things that made him feel alive, but he was too focused on trying to save the world to dwell on it. Everything kept falling apart and with more important things on his mind, he simply didn't have time to think about it.

Now there was time.

Turning from his sink, Five walks back to the sole armchair in the middle of the space that serves as his living room. He slips off his black suit jacket, draping it over the back.

‘I missed you,’ Dolores says, her voice in his mind so hopeful. Five glances her way but can’t keep her eye.

His reply comes almost too quietly to hear. “I missed you too.”

Purposefully avoiding her, Five wanders over to his small kitchen table. He didn’t even bother to turn on the light when he entered his apartment. This entire time it’s been dark, save for the dim light filtering in from his two small windows.

Pulling out the single chair, he sits down on the cracked vinyl cushion, dropping his head in his hands as he thinks about what he is doing.

Looking up after a minute of trying to get his head straight but failing, Five’s eyes train on the widow in front of him. His nicotine yellowed curtains wave gently from the air moving in. Beyond his window, across the alley, the occupant of the adjacent apartment is home. Five knew she would be, that’s why he left the lights off. It’s also why he left his window open.

He can hear her voice. It’s faint as she talks on her phone, but Five can hear it and make out parts of what she’s saying.

She’s talking about work like she often is.

The girl comes to the window dressed in her uniform from the job she works at during the day. She dumps the water from her watering can in the flower box attached to the sill.

Five knows that she can’t see him, but he doesn’t move a muscle anyway. He holds his breath.

She’s so close.

He could almost touch her.

Five can see her hair flutter in the wind before she laughs at something the person on the line must have said, then she leans back inside after plucking off a few dead buds, flicking them to the ground below.

The girl is young, similar in that she’s not much younger or older than Five's physical age. At his mental age, she is not someone he should be interested in. She is not someone Five should be watching like this, not that he should be watching anyone, but like so many things about himself that can’t control, he is interested in her.

Everything about her is animated and full of life.

She’s the opposite of him.

Five is almost completely empty and deeply numb inside.

His fascination with her is in part because of that. He’s aware of this on some level, but he also realizes it’s for other reasons.

Bad reasons.

The immorality of doing this is almost no more than a ghost in his mind at this point. The more it happens, the less Five cares that it’s wrong.

Everything about him is wrong so why torture himself about one more thing?

With a dull, lifeless expression washing over his features, Five continues staring out, analyzing her every move as she moves about her small apartment.

‘You can’t keep doing this. You need help,’ Dolores warns sharply, the same way she’s been saying it since he started this, the same way she says it every night.

“I don’t need help, Dolores. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine,” Five grumbles back, not bothering to turn towards her, or finishing by lying to her again, telling her that it’s just a diversion, and it’s nothing more.

Normally, when he comes home, Five would feel something when he sees the long-time love of his life. He still does, but the more he watches this girl, the less he’s been able to pretend with Dolores like he always has. It disturbs him but he can’t stop.

‘You aren’t eating enough, and you didn’t sleep again last night. I am so worried about you. I love you,’ she adds with that sound of unsuppressed fear in her voice that’s been getting worse and worse when Five comes in late, zombie-like after being gone at work all day and then wakes up acting almost exactly the same way.

Though it hurts him to do it, Five ignores her, pretending he didn't hear. Brushing the curtains aside even more, he lets himself become fully engrossed in the life across the alley.

Not long after being left by his family, Five had gone to Dolores, finding her standing tall on her pedestal in the used clothing store. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t take her then, that didn’t happen till later. He tried so hard to be normal and he knew that having her with him wouldn’t help in that endeavor.

After months of hardly hanging on, sleeping at Viktor’s some nights, on the streets others, then finally scratching enough pennies to get by, Five finally got his own place. Here in this hell hole, Five found that his new chance at living a real life was not at all what he’d thought it would be.

This time the idea of retirement and hitting the road to find his next big ball of twine left Five unbearably uneasy. He couldn’t let himself give into the childlike notions he had before.

Five had nothing. He couldn’t retire. Even if Klaus had wanted to drag him along to find their birth parents or something else pointless again, Five wouldn’t have let himself be tricked into it this time.

Last time that happened, he’d had this strange glimmer of hope light up his heart. He hadn’t felt that in so long. It was like getting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was viciously stripped from him again by impending death taking everything and sucking it into the mother fucker of black holes.

Five was left in the dark again.

Now Five found himself feeling as alone in a world filled with people as he did in a world alone. He couldn’t figure out how to fit into society and that humiliating failure had him withdrawing inside himself even more.

He tried to hold on to his usual anger, pretending it wasn’t his fault but even that failed him because he knew on every level that it was his fault.

The isolation finally became too much for him, he snuck into the back room of that department store where Dolores lived. Not till the shop closed did he come out of hiding and steal her out of there, long legs and all.

She’s been with him again ever since, providing the love and comfort she always has. Only until one night, when Five saw the girl next door, Dolores had been enough to keep him satisfied and not feeling so alone. Since discovering this girl, a dangerous and obsessive pattern has developed.

Every night when Five comes home, well after dinnertime, he leaves the light off so he can go to the table and watch the female occupant of the next building. She rarely shuts her blinds, and when she does, it’s not all the way. She may think nobody lives across from her because Five is gone all day and at night, even when he’s there, it looks like he’s not.

She may not care if someone is watching her, and that idea alone helps Five justify what he’s doing. That flawed perception of things is also making it easier for other thoughts to invade his already very fractured mind.

It started innocently enough. Curiosity mostly. She was pretty. Five told himself that it was normal to be drawn to beautiful things. She held odd hours, but she was almost always home for a few hours before bed when Five had nothing and no one else other than Dolores. To him, it felt like it was on purpose.

She’d either be home already or he’d get to watch her come in from one job, change for another, eat, shower, and go again. She’d water her flowers that hung in a box outside her window and then Five would get to be even closer to her. She’d even leave her windows open most nights, and Five would do the same, furthering the connection he feels is growing stronger with her.

Five believes that he knows this girl on an intimate level. He knows her name and where she works, and many other things about her.

This relationship is becoming real to him; as real as it is with Dolores.

Stepping out of what Five has determined is her bathroom, the girl bends down to pick up the towel that just slipped off her head. In doing so, Five gets a much better few of her ass that’s only covered by her very small underwear. If she’d just turn around, he’d see her breasts.

“Fuck,” he whispers, “please turn around, for me.”

She doesn’t, but Five’s right hand moves between his legs anyway. It always goes something like this. It starts as simple, silent watching, then as he justifies his actions with things that are entirely imagined, Five’s already defunct rationale dissolves completely.

Five rubs his palm over the tip of his partial erection as it sits in a raised silhouette covered by the thin wool material covering his lap. Reacting to the pleasure of his own hand, Five spreads his legs wider, his fingers better working the hardening length as his lips slowly part to better accommodate his heavier breathing.

Five knows he could simply watch porn to take care of this perplexing and intensifying desire to be with someone real. It’s not like he’s opposed to it, it's just that this private show is for him and only him. This is special.

In his mind, the more he watches, the more he feels like this girl is part of his life, and that is the thing that he needs the most even though he can’t see the truth of it anymore. Intense denial and the refusal to see that he needs help, all comes from years of using this pattern to survive. It was even this way when Five was a child. Now it’s much worse and it’s fueling this fantasy, making him blind to the reality of what he is doing.

Five spends most of his days in a blur without sensation, existing but not living. But, deep down in a place he can’t open again, Five longs for something that he's only ever allowed himself to dream of.

Now, after everything that’s happened to him, Five is so broken he doesn’t know how to be with someone real which is making that dream feel impossible. He tells himself that it never really was possible; he's always been broken. This is all there ever will be. Just the idea of trying to open himself means letting someone inside and risking them seeing what he really is, and he can’t let that happen.

Five believes that he is nothing more now than a cold-blooded psychotic killer, living a meaningless life.

He can’t escape what he is, and he can’t go back to change it.

There is no one that can help him, and no one that would want to help him if they knew the truth about him.

This, what he is doing with this girl, is easier. It’s his only option. Five thinks he’s in control of it, just like with Dolores. Watching and touching himself like this, it’s enough. He won’t do more.

Five craves control and with this, he has it.

Now that he has her, Five is not alone. She is real, living and breathing. Five can even imagine the soft feel of her skin as he runs his hands up and down her smooth looking legs. He can feel her warmth on him, rubbing against his cock as he comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her in a dominant yet affectionate embrace.

Wanting to tease her, Five smiles a little and says, “I bet you just couldn’t wait for me to get home. You love me, and you love it when I do this to you, don’t you…”

In Five’s head, she giggles a yes.

The girl flips her head down, blow-drying her locks. Again, the view isn’t bad. She dropped the towel around her and put her bra on while inside the bathroom where Five couldn’t see it. He didn’t get the full show he’d been hoping for, but she’s still a sight in her matching set of very feminine undergarments. Five can feel his hands roaming over her, the delicate filigree stitch of the lace fabric the only thing keeping him from having all of her.

Teeth studding into his lower lip, Five unzips himself, pulling the heat between his legs free so he can grip the girth tight. Heels digging into his linoleum floor, his lips twist with a dark delight as his eyes narrow.

She is all his.

The girl flips her head back up, straightening herself as she shuts off the hair dryer and starts putting on her makeup. Five imagines himself shoving her up against the small, cluttered counter in front of her.

She drops her head back against him, moaning his name the moment she feels his bare flesh pressing against her in that way that means he's seeking more than just to rub himself on her.

She likes that too, but Five knows that she wants all of him tonight.

Licking his lips, his eyes trained on her body, Five’s voice comes out sweetly menacing. “I am going to fuck to till you scream.”

She arches into him again.

Five’s hand works his cock, spreading his pre-cum under his fingers, but it’s not enough to let his hand slip and slide and he doesn’t care. He likes to jerk himself hard and with no regard for being gentle about it. Pain and pleasure are the only things that make Five feel these days and this will give him both fixes.

Five desperately wants to feel.

“I love your perfect tits,” he grates out through clenched teeth. Then, in his head, he leans over, biting into the soft flesh of her shoulder as he suddenly fucks up into her from behind. He’s railing her hard and fast, and in his mind, she loves it as much as he does.

Or maybe she doesn’t and that’s exciting too even though Five knows that is wrong. It really doesn’t matter, because it’s up to him to decide, just like it always is with Dolores. With his cock in hand as the muscles in his calves flex and burn while his heels squeak across his floor, it’s all up to him and him alone how he finds his pleasure.

Five is mentally and physically free to be the vile creature he is with no judgment and no fear of rejection.

A thin sheen of sweat on his brow, Five grunts as he aggressively pumps his cock. His ass cheeks squeeze and contract as his hips jut upwards into his own hand.

When the sound of the girl’s ringtone plays out, sending an upbeat song blaring, she drops her mascara on the counter and picks it up. Whatever the caller tells her, abruptly causes her to alter her usual nightly routine. Normally she’d be home for another hour getting ready, but instead, she hangs up, comes out in her bedroom area and haphazardly throws on her clothes and rushes out the door, leaving Five literally hanging.

Hanging on to himself that is, with no more eye candy to get off on.

The moment she’s gone, the reality of what he’s doing threatens to swallow him whole. Just the idea of having to face it has Five’s hand slowing and his heart clenching in the start of a panic attack.

No, no, no, no…

“I am not-" Five’s words stick as his mouth fills with the thickness of his mortifying disgrace trying to choke him.

His hands both come up, yanking at his tie as if it’s the thing stripping him of his ability to breathe.

Five feels like he is drowning. His once revered mind feels like it's breaking in two as it's being flooded with shame and hate.

He does not want to be this person.

‘Five, it’s okay.’ Dolores calls out to him, trying to help bring him back from the dark surrounding him. ‘I am here. We will figure this out! Please, sweetheart, just come to me. It will be okay. We can make it okay again.’

Dragging himself out of his chair, Five goes to Dolores. Once next to his bed, with blurry eyes looking down at her, he kicks off his pants and underwear, then rolls himself over on his side, burying his face against the cool hard skin at her neck.

“I am so sorry, darling. You are the only one that has ever loved me… I am so sorry I am doing this to you. I hate this,” he cries, the air heaving out of him as he reaches down under the blankets, taking himself in hand again.

With more wet gasps, his free hand runs soft and tenderly up and down under Dolores’s blouse, trying to show how much he loves her in the way he handles her painted flesh. Five whispers apologies and words of love as he finishes himself, part thrusting and part still using his hand, while moving himself up against her solid and unforgiving leg.

Five may be laying with the mannequin that is the loyal love of his life, pouring his love out to her, but in his mind, images of the girl across the alley play over and over again.

Chapter Two: I feel So Close

Like usual, the next morning, Five finds himself awake way too early. He hardly slept again. It’s hours before his alarm goes off for work. He is bare assed with only his dress shirt on, laying with his face settled on top of the unforgiving shape of Dolores’s hard chest.

Drowsily stretching his legs under the blankets, he cuddles in tighter, unwilling to open his eyes but also unable to turn his overactive brain off. Then, as sleep further evades him, he begins to remember what happened the night before.

Five’s hand glides up Dolores’s arm, coming up to her face so he can gently run his fingers across her cheek the way she likes.

‘Good morning, Five ,’ she coos back to his tender show of affection.

Peeking at her from under the fringe of his ruffled hair, Five does his best to smile when their eyes meet, but it comes off uncertain because he feels so bad for what he did.

Five never wanted to be a cheater, but Dolores has told him time and time again that she wants him to find someone who can be there for him in ways that she can't, and if he did, it wouldn't be cheating. The problem is this is not what she meant. It’s throwing his dysfunction and failure in her face when all she has done for the last forty-one years is support him. Then, after making her watch another one of his many falls from grace, he’s got the balls to come to her as a whimpering mess, going even more dysfunctional when he sets about selfishly dirtying her thighs and her pretty new skirt with his traitorous seed.

“I am so sorry,” Five quietly breathes, sounding so discouraged.

Already his free hand is inspecting the damage under the blankets. It's not like he hasn't done these kinds of sexual things with Dolores before, it's just last night was wrong on too many levels. Dolores can do nothing for herself, and his intense shame over the way he used her and his innate need to take care of her has Five quickly untangling himself from her body.

‘It’s okay.’

“It’s not,” he replies on the way to the bathroom to get soapy washcloths.

Once inside, Five accidentally catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and just that makes his chest hurt.

“You fucking, pathetic bastard,” he mumbles, cursing himself as he goes about getting the supplies he needs to help bring some dignity back to his helpless partner.

Coming back to bed, he sets his things down on the nightstand and then picks up his own rumpled dress pants off the floor. He zips himself in, trying not to think about when he unzipped last night, but it’s impossible not to.

Eyes on Dolores, he rolls the comforter back and starts cleaning her. Once he has her legs shiny and cleansed, Five glances across the room to the nearest window. Behind the fluttering curtain, he knows the girl is still laying in her bed. With even more remorse threatening to pull him under, he looks down at Dolores.

“I’ll change you into some fresh clothes, strip the bedding, and then you and I can make breakfast together, and I’ll read to you till I have to go?” Five says it as a question, sounding so hopeful she won’t reject his attempt to try to be the man he used to be for her.

‘That would be perfect, sweetheart. I would love that.’ As soon as her reply processes in his mind, it instantly makes him feel better.

Five makes good on his offer, other than his own shower, he spends the quiet pre-dawn hours at her side. He’s sure to right the rest of the wrongs from the night before by dressing her in the next best thing he has for her, then he remakes their bed with fresh linens and blankets, and carefully tucks Dolores in so she’s comfortable as she waits for his return.

After leaning in and kissing her on her cool rosy cheek, Five leaves for the day, dressed in his usual all black three-piece suit paired with a fitted white dress shirt and black tie.

Feeling a little more like himself and that he can make it through another day, Five’s smile before walking out the door is real and full of so much love. “Thank you for loving me. You are all I need,” he says in his head, doing his best to will it true, but it’s sadly not.

Like so many times he’s lied to himself, Five tries very hard to change this new pattern of giving into his darker urges, but as the week progresses, he can’t help but fall victim again to his inappropriate indulgence.

The rest of the week, he manages to achieve his nightly end goal of blissful release without falling into another dark hole of mortification like he did after peeping on the girl on Monday night. Five’s success not wallowing in utter misery is not good in that it only further ingrains his deviant behavior and his fantasy that there’s something building between him and the stranger across the alley.

--------------------------

Friday after work, Five is sitting in his armchair, disdainfully eyeing his brother as he goes about, snooping around his small apartment. Five lets out a sharp sigh, then tipping his head back, he takes a drink of the extremely delicious coffee that Klaus used as an excuse to drop by.

"I know you haven't talked to Diego in a while, but I saw him last week and he told me that he's still been keeping an eye on our dear old alien dad."

Every time Klaus pays him a visit this topic comes up and every time Five refuses to take the bait. "Diego should stop trying to play superhero. He should just let it rest. Dad got what he wanted. He's got the world by the balls and even though we mean nothing to him, he let us live. Story over."

"I don't know, man. Diego said that Lila has been looking into things with him lately and there's something weird going on of there at the Hargreeves International building. Like more than an alien overlord hanging out in his penthouse basking in how small all of us insignificant humans look down here on the ground."

Five couldn't look more like he doesn't give a shit, so Klaus moves on to other things on his agenda. “So, work is good, things are going well then?” Klaus asks, leaning over Five's bed to give a tress hanging from Dolores’s wig a twirl.

Loathing the way Klaus is touching her, Five’s face melts into a purely sinister looking leer, but his brother doesn’t seem to get the hint and keeps on with it, twirling away.

“You could care less about my work or if I enjoy it. And it’s not that I don’t appreciate good coffee, but you don’t need to stop by and check on me. You haven’t felt the need to pay me regular visits up until recently and nobody else in our family of idiot misfit toys gives a damn, so you are welcome to join them in that if you are simply coming by to try and piss me off, which you are.”

Five defiantly cocks his chin the same time one of his shoulders rises in that uncontrollable mad tick of his as he gears up for the rest of his dismissal.

“In case you forgot, I am a grown man and I have been taking care of myself almost my entire life. I don’t need a fucking babysitter,” he bites out, teeth bared.

Klaus nods, his lips pursing as he thinks for a second. “Yeah, all true. But you are pretty damn young to be living all alone like this.” He smirks. “Well, sort of.”

“I know your miniscule brain can't comprehend this, but I am not a child, and I am not alone!” Five defends much too loudly and quickly, his sneer transforming into a deep frown instead.

After that excessive outburst, both Klaus and Five look at Dolores. Klaus dips closer to her and whispers something. Five can’t help but internally curse himself as he watches his brother openly taunting him. He knows it’s pointless to let Klaus rattle him, but he can’t help it. Everything is setting him off lately. One of the reasons he prefers to be alone is to avoid things like this.

Five’s already very small world is closing in around him more and more each day and the worst part is that he is accepting it.

Shifting in his chair, Five’s clammy hand comes up to his silk tie, fidgeting with it. Just having Klaus in his apartment is making it feel harder for him to breathe and he knows that’s irrational but it’s true all the same.

In Five’s mind, Dolores is looking back at him with her customary expression of agitation that she saves for when he’s doing something she’s not okay with, yet the reality is, her face always remains that of pleasant neutrality.

Lately, Five hasn’t been able to connect to her on the same intimate level he has been for most his life, but his troubled mind hasn’t given up on using Dolores as an outlet to try to get through to him. Though she is not real, Dolores is still where Five keeps what’s left of his heart, and she is his lifeline just like she always has been.

I want him to go, Five tells her in their way that needs no words.

‘You know that your brother was not in the best shape when he first got here. It’s not Klaus’s fault he wasn’t able to be around more. He had things to figure out too. Relax, sweetheart. Just take your deep breaths like we talked about. He’s just trying to be nice,’ she gently offers, trying to calm Five down.

Since Klaus is back to messing with Dolores’s hair, he doesn’t notice the look of fear in Five’s eyes as he stares at her, or that he’s desperately trying to do as she said and take long deep breaths to reign in this feeling of impending doom that’s looming over him.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that you are fine,” Klaus goes on, “it’s just I can’t help but feel like you need to get out, you know… Like join the world of the living a little more now that you can.”

Five’s fingers clench on the arm of his chair but he manages to keep his voice level and his expression blank by the time Klaus looks his way again. “I do get out,” he flatly replies.

Klaus laughs. “I don’t mean going to work or picking up takeout.”

Unable to maintain his façade of cool, nervously bending forward, Five’s free hand grips tightly at his knee. “Look, Klaus, these little interrogation visits of yours are a blast and all but if there is nothing else that you’d like to talk about, then you can kindly see yourself to the door because I have more important things to do.”

“Like what?”

Five doesn’t respond and that’s because he doesn’t have anything to do. Well, not anything that he is going to admit to Klaus anyway. Speaking of which, Five raises his arm, anxiously drawing his cuff up enough to see his watch.

The girl should be home by now.

She is waiting for him. He heard her telling someone on the phone this week that she has this entire weekend off. Five has been looking forward to this rare break in her busy work schedule ever since because now he won’t be alone the next two days.

It takes everything Five has not to get up and go check on her, but he refuses to even look over at his window while Klaus is there.

An ache like need to get his brother out as soon as possible has Five’s jaw tensing as he tries to think of how best to do it. Just thinking about missing his chance to spend time with the girl has Five fighting to keep his knees from bouncing. He's about to come flying up out of his chair and physically throw Klaus out on his ass.

'Just breathe,' Dolores reminds him.

Trying to listen and just relax but with his nerves still getting the best of him, Five looks extremely bothered when he finally comes up with his lame answer, but at least he is not going postal on the one remaining family member that actually remembers he exists.

“I am trying to finish a book due back at the library, and I’d like to do it before bed, so…” he reports with a jittery looking rolling of his hand, implying it's time for Klaus to move on.

To that, Klaus flamboyantly flaps his arms up, beaming ear to ear like he’s got the best idea ever.

“Hey, you can finish your boring book later this weekend. It’s Friday, why don’t you come with me, and we go out for a night on the town! Let your super cool big brother show you a good time, I’ll even pay, and I know all the best places. There’s this one club that has these naughty cage dancers and I know from what Luther told me from our Dallas stint that you like to watch the sexy lad-”

“You are not my big brother!” Five snaps, interrupting him. “I am older than you by nearly thirty years and something tells me that your idea of a good time is not even close to mine, so no thank you. I am fine, so stop acting like I am some kind of freak of the family that you need to check in on every few weeks so you don’t find me hanging from a rope in my closet!”

Instead of getting the picture that he is only making Five feel even more uncomfortable about his disastrous life, Klaus flops down on the bed, making himself more at home.

Wishing he could spatial jump, and even worse still having the instinctual reaction to try to but coming up empty handed, Five grates his teeth in extreme frustration, then abruptly stands up, violently crushing his empty coffee cup before he chucks it over in the kitchen sink.

Klaus can clearly see the very irate, no longer boney thirteen-year-old, ex-teleporting assassin, yet still very much a ball of rage version of Number Five Hargreeves coming for him. Even though he himself can die permanently just like everyone else, he obviously isn’t frightened by his brother because he continues snuggling in and fussing over Dolores, trying to style her glued on hair in a more tousled look.

Standing over him at the side of the bed, Five swats Klaus’s hand off his beloved mannequin’s shoulder.

“Stop touching her!”

Klaus holds his hand as if Five actually hurt him, even doing an overdone pout to add to his show of disappointment. “Five, this is exactly why you need to get out more. Dolores is great and all and I know you love her, but everyone needs someone a little more… Aah-uhm, you know.”

“REAL!”

Five’s voice is too loud, his heart is hammering, and his nerves are shot. He needs Klaus to leave. More and more when his brother stops by, it’s things like this. It feels like everything said is to remind him how fucked-up he is and how his life isn’t even a life.

“Five,” Klaus sighs his name, not at all fazed by him yelling, “ever since we got here, I am scared you’re becoming a very lost soul and that’s getting worse as the days go by. Now that you are free and you don’t have a world to save or an evil taskmaster from The Commission to tell you what to do, you’ve been hiding deeper and deeper inside yourself. I know this kind of thing, man. I have seen it and I’ve lived through some pretty fucked up episodes of depression. I can help you, and as a spiritual leader, you should know that I helped a lot of lost people find inner peace. The way we grew up, and then being a hitman and living a lifetime alone the way you did, it would mess anyone up. I just want to help is all.”

“Do you want me to feel worse about this? Is that what this is!” Five throws a shaking hand back over his dark hair, yanking it out of his eyes. With his hand landing on the back of his neck, nails digging in, he begins to pace.

Klaus sits up, his smile gone the moment he realizes that his brother is actually getting really upset compared to his normal kind of upset.

“Five, that is not at all what I am trying to do. I just want you to be happy. You are so alone, man. It can't be good.”

Five stops, spinning on his heel as he shoots death daggers back at Klaus. “I may be a freak as far as the world’s concerned, but the world can fuck off. Just stay out of it. I am not alone, and I AM FINE!”

Raising his hands in a placating gesture, Klaus tries to lighten the mood again. “I am so happy you are good and all that.”

Klaus gently shrugs, biting his lip, giving away that he is aware what he’s going to say next probably isn’t going to get the reaction he’s hoping for, but he says it anyway.

“Maybe you need just a little something else to add to all your good, is all I am saying. It doesn’t have to be going out and trying to make friends or getting thick into the enigmatic world of dating. I get that one is a complicated cookie being you are twenty-ish going on sixty or whatever, but what the chicks or guys don’t know about you won’t hurt them. Just don’t talk about all that.” Klaus grins and winks. “Unless you do go for the hurting thing, you dirty old bastard. There are clubs we can go to for that too.” Looking at Dolores he adds, “I bet Fivey loves to spank that sweet ass now that you’ve got one.”

“Fuck you,” Five growls.

Klaus keeps smiling at Dolores. “I guess that means no cute Fivey daddy kink for you, gorgeous. Too bad.”

“Stop talking to her!”

Klaus looks totally thrown. “Why, you talk to her?”

“Because she’s mine, you shithead!” Five barks back, not sure what else to say about his extreme distress over this simple visit and he’s already regretting saying that because it only makes him sound even more nuts.

“Come on Five… Just chill out. I am just joking around. You need more of that. I also think you could use a little spice in your love life, even if that means just right here at home in your own little safe world of just you, your hand and this lovely lady and any other lady or guys that you’re secretly pining over in that genius but gloriously debauched mind of yours.”

Stunned at his brother’s latest comment that is hitting too close to home, Five can’t help turning his body just enough so he can look over at the girl’s apartment.

“Not out in the scary world of real people, I mean,” Klaus tries to correct, not realizing that Five is misconstruing what he just said, thinking he was talking about the girl next door and what he’s already doing with her.

Biting back another curse, Five narrows his eyes at Klaus, part in fury and part in embarrassed confusion because the girl’s lights are on, meaning she is home, and he feels like his brother is seeing right through him.

“How about instead of spending all your money on all these sexy suits that you have more than enough of already, you spend some money on a really nice blow-up doll. Or even just something that vibrates or something else exciting that has a little more give and play to it.”

As Klaus spits out his brilliant idea, his smile expands, and it matches Five’s wide eyes.

“Get a flesh-light,” he cheerfully suggests, “or you can adjust things with your new and improved big boobs love hole inflatable and add some Velcro to her hands or something else creative so she can give you a little affection back in the way of loving plastic arms wrapped around you while you hump the fuck out of her. We all need a hug, buddy.”

With that, Klaus stands and puts his hands out acting like he’s going to hug Five, but just as fast, Five steps back out of his reach, looking utterly appalled.

Again, not getting it, his brother offers a silly smile as he shakes a finger at him. “Settle down over there, old-man kiddo. You know what I mean… I am just talking about something a little more stimulating. You must be so horny and bored in here that you are going insane.” Klaus’s smile falters as he takes in Five’s tiny home and lack of anything in it in the way of character or signs of life. “You deserve more, buddy,” he finishes, the sadness he feels for Five seeping into his tone even though he’s trying to smile still.

“The last thing I want, or need, is for you or anyone to feel sorry for me,” Five seethes while jamming his hands in his pockets. His eyes move to the floor as he battles within himself to control the surge of desire to lash out both verbally and physically. Keeping his brother safe from either of those things, Five swiftly motions for Klaus to go. “Just go,” he nearly whispers because he's trying so hard to hide the quiver in his voice.

“Five?” Klaus tries.

“NO! I am done! I have done enough for you and everyone. Just leave me alone!”

Five yells it so loud, Klaus flinches. “I am sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I am sorry about everything. I am just worried.”

“Don’t be. I am happy,” Five lies. He looks up a few seconds after saying that, his face again the usual mask of indifference, but Klaus can see right through it and wishes so badly he had seen it sooner.

Not knowing what else to do that won’t anger Five more, Klaus moves to the door. “Fine… I get it. I am a dumbass, and you don’t need anyone, but I am here for you, man. I am sorry I haven’t always been there to listen, but I am now.”

“Sure,” Five says, before shutting the door on Klaus.

-----------------------------

Five slaps down the deadbolt, then flips the lights off.

“That fucking, fucker !” he mumbles as he swiftly moves across the small space to the kitchen window.

With a huge sigh of relief, he sees the girl must have just got out of the shower. He didn’t miss it. The anticipation of that addictive rapture she provides is already settling Five down and also revving him up as he lowers his body into his favorite viewing chair.

Just as Five is thinking that he can escape into his perfect place, with her towel wrapped around her and wet hair dangling down her back, he watches as she suddenly spins around from her bathroom sink and then rushes out into her bedroom area. It appears that she is frantically looking for something. Her head pops up several times looking towards her front door, then as if giving up, she slowly walks over to it.

When she opens it, Five is greeted with an unwelcome sight.

“Who the fuck is that?”

Not able to understand at first, and obviously not getting an answer to his question, Five leans over his table for a better look. His girl just let some guy in her apartment. And she did it while in nothing more than her bath towel!

“No,” Five whimpers when he sees her smile at this asshole in the beaming way that he believes is something she only deploys for their interactions. She smiles like that when she’s laughing about something or dancing around her apartment loudly singing while she cleans, and none of these things have anything to do with him, but Five is too gone to see that.

Watching her sauntering off to her bathroom as the other guy is also hungrily watching it, has Five gritting his teeth. His fingernails dig into the palms of his hands. Though he doesn’t want to believe it, now that this other guy is there, Five is piecing together that she is not prancing like that for him.

"It never was for you," a seductively cruel version of her voice tickles through his mind.

"Yes it was!" he growls back, unwilling to give up on his dream.

There’s even more burning pain as his neatly clipped nails carve half-moons into his flesh. His hands start to violently shake at his sides.

The girl says something to the guy then she shuts the bathroom door, blocking both Five and this new guy out.

As soon as she’s gone, her visitor starts meandering around her tiny place like he owns it, but Five is certain that he’s never been there before. He’s going about it not at all unlike what Klaus just did to Five, only the girl is entirely unaware of it.

The creep digs through her things, including her underwear drawer, taking a pair, and hiding them in his inner jacket pocket. Then he opens another drawer, pulling out a small jar that Five has seen handled by the girl many times. He greedily digs in, helping himself to the girl’s hard earned tip money that she saves all week to pay for her groceries.

Five’s entire body is vibrating he is so mad.

“I am going to fucking kill you, you piece of shit!” he hisses, eyes locked on the guy as he carefully studies his every move, learning any of his potential weaknesses.

Five easily determines this guy is an easy hit, no weapon other than his hands will be needed to end him. Five can already feel himself snapping this guy’s fat neck. There is no way he is going to let him get away with stealing from his girl. Coming over to take her out is one thing, and that’s bad enough, but taking her underwear without her permission! That means death and Five is going to happily deliver it.

During Five’s near manic episode of having mental and verbal conversations with himself, and also justifying reasons for killing this guy, he is conveniently forgetting the fact that he’s been watching her without permission and taking sexual liberties for himself from her body without her knowledge. With the way his mind has been working lately, it’s not at all the same thing. This guy has her trust and he’s in her home. Five would never violate her like the way this guy just did. He’d never even touch her let alone her things.

Focusing on the kill, a rush of adrenaline-fueled hatred brings that calm before the storm feeling that settles like an old familiar friend into Five’s mind and limps. His trembling fingers steady.

When his girl comes out of the bathroom she’s dressed in a flowy little skirt and a tight fit top with a unbuttoned cropped sweater over it. She goes straight to the guy with that adorably beautiful and innocent look on her face, and that manages to crack Five’s newly composed homicidal state of poise. He’s never seen her in anything that nice. Why doesn't she wear that stuff for him?

She lets the guy take her hand, leading the way as they disappear out the door.

It takes everything Five has not to spring into action and race out the door to follow them. He knows that doing that will only result in one thing, and that one thing is going to be bloody and brutal, but it would feel so good to see her date bleed.

To do that, Five would have to trail them, waiting for just the right moment. The idea of doing that brings back so many memories of his time with The Commission. It’s both sickening and sweet. He knows he could do it without anyone seeing. The girl wouldn’t even have to know. It would be perfect. But…

Fuck.

Even though this is what he was made to do, something feels wrong.

He’s never gone so far as to take this obsession with the girl outside of his apartment and hers. This is their special place, their own private world. But out there…

“It’s not real! She’s not yours!” his mind screams at him.

Five is all at once beside himself with how to process this unwanted mental intrusion.

That’s not true. She is real. What they have is real, his mind corrects. Him being a coldhearted killer is sadly real, but he hasn’t hurt anyone since he’s been in this timeline. He promised himself that he wouldn’t. He doesn’t need to anymore.

Five wants it to be real with this girl so badly and he wants to kill this guy just as much.

But none of it is real.

Deep down, Five knows that he has no right to feel this way.

“FUCK!” he screams in pure anguish, his hands coming up to his face, fingers digging in as his eyes slam shut. “Why are you doing this!”

The question comes out of his mouth, but it’s just as much for him as it is for her. Five can’t reason what’s happening to him or why she’d be with a guy like that over staying here with him. He’s not a good person, but he’d never…

Five’s voice comes out broken and quiet. “God, damn it.”

Yes, Five is a highly skilled executioner and absolutely thrumming with excitement over the idea of murdering this guy, but then the reality of what he himself has done to this girl is being thrown up in his face. Five’s insides are revolting against him and that’s because he has abused the girl too. He didn’t steal from her, but yet, he did.

Five may be experiencing an extremely dangerous dissociation from reality and doing so more and more as the days go by, but what happened with Klaus earlier and this mental battle with himself now proves that he’s still aware on some level of what he’s doing.

He knows it’s wrong.

He is wrong.

Again, that overwhelming hatred threatens to take his breath away. Five’s vision starts to flood with murky blackness coming at him from all sides. It’s hitting him hard and fast this time. He blindly reaches for the chair in front of him just in time to prevent himself from tumbling all the way down to the floor.

In a heap, eyes misting from terrified tears, Five folds in on himself, wrapping his arms around his legs. His heart feels like it could burst right out of his chest.

“No, no, no,” he whispers in his downward spiraling mantra as he rocks back and forth. This time as Five slips away inside his own personal hell, not even Dolores is able to pull him back.

He can no longer hear her. It’s nothing but ash, blood, and regret.

-------------------------------------

Hours later, sitting at his table in the dark, Five brings his glass to his lips. The caramel-colored liquid isn't even giving him that delightful burn anymore as it glides down his throat. As if in slow motion, his blurred eyes drop to his hands.

They don’t feel like they are his.

They are, but they aren’t.

No matter how long he is in this new, younger version of himself, Five’s mind can’t weave together the new face in the mirror with the person he sees in his mind. When he was this age, he was not in good shape, but he was not this demon going around masquerading as a human.

Seeing that his glass is empty again, Five reaches for his bottle of cheap whiskey with the intention of pouring himself more, but he’s denied for a second time tonight in his only remaining vice and that’s because there isn’t any left. It doesn’t really matter because Five already feels completely dead inside and it’s not the bad liquor making him numb.

When the girl and guy come bursting into her apartment not long later, Five is still sitting there in the dark extremely inebriated.

It appears from Five’s point of view that the creep’s mouth and hands are all over her in a very heated embrace. Five sits silent and still, watching as the girl stumbles backwards, her hand flailing out as if she’s surprised by her date's display of reckless desire for her. Then the guy forcefully kicks her door closed behind them, he swiftly scoops her up and he throws her down on the couch.

Five can’t even feel the rage, or the hate, or even the shame that he had before. He wishes so badly that he could, but it’s gone like the rest of him.

It appears to Five that the girl’s shithead boyfriend just manhandled her, but as far as he can tell, it looks like she’s totally into it.

The guy is on top of her in a flash, blocking Five from seeing her face as he pins her legs under his and he shoves her shirt up.

Five’s eyes fall on her beautiful bare skin, mesmerized with the quick rise and fall of her chest.

Her lover has one hand at her throat and the other around her wrists as he appears to smother her breasts in passionate kisses.

The windows haven't been open tonight but in his head Five can hear her cries of pleasure as her date forcefully shoves her knees apart with one of his own, then grinds down on her.

Five knows enough to know that doing that to her would feel so fucking good. Holding her under him... Directing everything...

It's too much for him to handle.

"Fu-uuck," he slowly breathes.

Being in control of everything is all Five knows when it comes to these things, so he easily lets the image before him become him. He is this guy. The only thing he would do differently is let his girl’s hands go free. He wants to let her feverously scratch and dig at his back as he presses his length between her legs. Five is so into this that in his mind, he can feel the pain of it.

He clings to that sensation, wanting to feel something. Seeing her body being treated in this way helps to pull Five back from the darkness in his mind, but it’s not the same as all the other times that he has been with her alone in their own unique way. This time she is a participant in the sexual act being played out before his eyes and Five isn’t sure if that’s why it feels different or not.

Five realized the moment she walked out the door that this is not for him and everything about that feels horrible. Yet still he is still getting sexual stimulated by this, which is all the more fucked up and he knows it.

As silly as it is, the thought that she is doing this to hurt him seems all too real. Of course, she’d want to do that. Nobody can ever really love him.

Five lets out an absolutely maniacal laugh that fills his small apartment in the most horrifyingly unhappy way before he slurs, “Well played, honey. I deserve this and then some, but nobody is as good at hurting me as I am. It absolutely destroys me that you chose this loser, but I am not looking away. I know how to take a punishment; I have been doing it my whole life.”

His hand slides down to his lap, the heavy feel of pleasure hitting him the moment the heat of his dick rubs against his equally hot palm. The full filling in his gut and the growing weight against his leg are all his usual physical reactions to seeing her in private like this, but this, her half naked under this other man as he aggressively dominates her, it’s bringing all sorts of disordered and confusing thoughts into Five’s mind. Something feels wrong, but he assumes it's him, so he begins to stroke himself anyway.

“Fuck me over as you fuck him. I don’t care anymore, I can take it, baby,” Five grates out, his words running together as his hips begin moving up into his hand in their very practiced way.

Taking it further even than the couple across the alleyway have, Five hastily unfastens his suit pants and takes the end of his dick in hand, impatiently working it faster even though he’s not fully erect yet. In his semi-flaccid state, he tries to focus his efforts on the most sensitive area that's just under the tip, but his fingers won't cooperate because he is too shitfaced.

Unbeknownst to him, there is a disconnect happening between the alcohol and his hate for himself, his hate for this guy, and his new anger at the girl that he had tricked himself into believing loved him.

To his dismay, it’s all manifesting in his inability to get rock hard like he’d normally be at this point. It’s just another thing he’s being denied, and Five is determined not to let go of one of the last things that makes him feel anything.

"Come on," Five urges both himself and them, his eyes trained on the other man who is also clearly fumbling as he tries to get his dick out of his jeans.

If she wants to punish him, so be it. But he’s going to be the one to do the beating. Just like their relationship, it’s always been one sided, he only fooled himself that it wasn’t.

He knows that he’ll hate himself even more for this, but in his screwed-up head, that’s exactly what he deserves. He wants to give in and just be nothing but the monster because it would be easier in so many ways.

After a minute or so of relentlessly jerking himself and finally getting hard enough that the head of is cock is pleasantly swollen and he's reaching close to his usual boner potential, the girl starts kicking her legs free. Five doesn’t grasp what’s happening, and that’s because he’s more focused on himself at the moment, rubbing the pearl of cum that's leaking out of him around and around as he pushes his thighs to lift and lower to the motion of how he envisions he's fucking her.

It feels so good, Five's eyes are hardly able to stay open as his head drops back and his mouth gapes and then closes and gapes again. He is making throaty grunting noises to the rhythm of his hand tightly jerking the base of his cock and the old chair he is on is creaking right along to his shameless song.

"Oh Fuck. That's it, suck it you dirty little slut," he groans.

In his mind, he just decided to pull out of her and then push himself straight in her mouth instead. The corners of his mouth pull back as a smile lights up his flushed face and that's because he just pretended to see that naughty twinkle in her eye that he can't get enough of. At this point Five has made up the idea that his girl is loving this and it's all a part of one of their normal little games which has him feeling much better about things. To Five, they just made up and it's going to be okay again.

"You are so perfect. Take me as deep as you can, baby," Five encourages her, his own hands working to give him that feeling of love that he so desperately craves.

When all at once, across the alley, his girl's actual man topples off her, falling onto the floor, Five can actually see the face he's been envisioning, and it doesn’t look happy at all and he doesn’t understand why.

It looks like she is yelling as she pushes the guy off of her a second time. Her face contorts even more in the unmistakable look of pure rage. Even seeing this, Five still frantically searches for his release. All he needs is just a little more and he’ll be there in that addictive place where he can forget everything for just a few glorious seconds.

But then to his shock, the girl chucks the glass vase from her end table, missing her date by only a few inches. It smashes against the wall by the door and using the guy’s small moment of pause over that, the much smaller girl goes for another heavy glass object sitting among her other pretty things. This time she hits him with it in the crotch, and taking the hint, he bolts for her door. She’s right behind him, closing the door before flinging a chain lock across its bracket to keep him out. Even though Five can’t hear it, the visual slamming of her door feels like it sent a shockwave through him.

He actually startles from it, his fuzzy mind coming back to him a little.

Five’s cramping hand on his shaft breaks its ruthless pace as he watches the girl slump her back against the door, her bottom sliding to the floor. She’s wiping her eyes.

Only now does Five know what he was missing in all this.

Watching her clean her own tears from her cheeks has Five suddenly realizing that she did not want what had just happened to her from the start, and that alarming fact hits Five like a ton of bricks. Following that drunken epiphany, an immediate explosion of hysteria hits him.

At the same time the girl gets up, crossing the room to pick something from beside her bed, Five hastily begins tucking himself back in his pants.

Five can hardly think, but one thing he knows is that this time he is going to kill that fucker.

As he races on unsteady feet for his own door, he looks back and sees the girl is no longer sitting there. He can’t see her anywhere inside her apartment but there’s no time to stand there and wait to see where she went. He assumes she went in her bathroom.

Five rips out of his apartment past the corroded elevator doors. He can hear the thing moving for once but since the lights still don’t work, he has no idea what floor it’s on. Crashing into a wall because he clumsily trips on some trash, Five curses himself for getting so messed-up, then takes off again, running as fast as he can to the stairway.

He bolts down the flights, his feet hardly making contact with more than a few steps on each one. When he hits the cement platform at the bottom and throws open the doors to the parking area behind their buildings, he comes out just in time to see his girl taking a swing at a flashy looking sports car pulling through the lot.

She manages to clip off one of the side mirrors with her baseball bat and her date must be scared shitless because he doesn’t stop to have another go with her. Instead, he tears out on to the street, engine roaring and tires screeching.

Hardly believing what he just saw and with his alcohol marinated brain not working even remotely right, Five comes her way.

“Holy shit,” he huffs as he tries to catch his breath.

The girl sees him coming, the look in her eyes so upset.

All Five wants to do is tell her he’s sorry. He wants to beg her forgiveness for being so fucked-up and angry with her that he didn’t see what was happening. He can’t believe that he just sat there, fucking himself while she was being sexually assaulted.

Her eyes grow wide as Five comes right up to her, but other than that, she merely stands there as if in a daze.

When Five makes the terrible mistake of calling her by name and then saying something about that asshole throwing himself on her like that, the girl no longer looks as unworried about the smartly dressed stranger approaching her in what she thought was concern.

“I don’t know you…” she says back, her confusion evident in her face and her tone. “There’s no way you saw…” She pauses but doesn’t take her eyes off the very unstable looking man in front of her. “How do you know that he did that?” she asks, terror washing over her face as she raises her bat.

Her eyes very quickly flit up then back down to the door Five just ran out of. As frustratingly slow as Five’s mind is moving, even he can tell that she is piecing together that he just came out of the adjacent building, and that since he just stupidly admitted to witnessing her date’s repulsive behavior, she knows that he was watching her somehow.

“Wait, I can explain. I care about you. It’s not like that-" He doesn’t know what to say, stumbling over his words horribly. “Please don’t be scared of me,” Five says, trying to correct his first verbal blunder, but it’s too late, and saying that only makes it much, much worse. She’s already backing away from him. He can’t help but panic, and in his current state of mind, he does one further in the wrong when he tries to reach for her. “Plea- OH FUCK!”

She swings at him. Five’s hand comes up stopping the bat just before it slams into the side of his skull.

“No! Just wait! I am sorr-” he tries and fails again to say anything helpful as he spins her around with it, maneuvering her body back up against him so he can detain her arms.

Undeterred by how easily Five turned the tables on her, the girl thrashes, throwing her head back to try and head butt him. He’s much more experienced in hand-to-hand combat than her and taller by just enough that he moves just in time and she misses her mark, her head flinging into his shoulder instead. Ripping the bat out of her hand even as she is stomping at his feet, Five binds one arm around her waist lifting her off the ground as he yanks her backwards with him.

“Please, stop!” he cries again but she’s not having it. Just as she lets out a scream, Five covers her mouth.

The girl bites Five’s fingers. Filled with violent pain from receiving multiple puncture wounds at once, he drops her back on her feet. Five lets out a ferocious roar as both his arms instinctually come up, squeezing around her throat.

Now that her hands are free, she tries to claw at him but Five lifts a knee into her lower back, pushing in as he buries his face against her shoulder blades so she can’t dig his eyeballs out of their sockets. As the girl’s oxygen supply quickly disappears, Five knows it’s a matter of seconds before she will stop fighting him.

He bares down on her with a chokehold and his skill at taking someone down this way has the girl’s weight falling limply back against his body after less than ten seconds. As her head lolls to the side, he knows that she is completely out, but Five knows it’s not going to be for long unless he tightens his hold and keeps it there.

If he does that, then it would be over for her.

Five does not want that. He didn’t want to see her hurt or be the one to hurt her. He didn’t want any of this.

He lets up the pressure, making sure she can breathe, but he doesn’t let her go.

Looking around the dimly lit parking lot, all he hears are the echoes of sirens in the distance and the usual humming noise from the traffic on the freeway a few miles away.

To Five’s surprise, it looks like nobody witnessed any of that, not the date who sped off and not this. It’s the middle of the night and there’s nobody around. Even in the window above with lights on still, Five can’t see any signs that someone saw them fighting. This is not the best neighborhood so even if someone did hear a disturbance outside, it would be nothing noteworthy.

But what now?

After what he just accidentally blurted, telling her that he has been essentially going full creep and stalking her, and then what he just did, Five can’t let her go.

If he does, then it would be over for him.

-------------------------

Thanks for reading if you got here.

(Chapter three coming soon...)

Updated link to chapter three below.

Link to Chapter 3

If you are hungry for more faster than I post it here, find this and my other Five stories at or check out my other Tumblr posts:

Master Post List to all my Five Centric Stories and Art

KayBreezy on A03

KayBreezy on Tumblr

Link to Bad_Kitty who created two of the pics for this fic and is an author who also loves to write Five Fics

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