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mooremars · 8 months

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Camelot 2023 Act 2 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out one post wasn't enough.

I still cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I still needed to get even more feelings out.

Act 2, Scene 1: The castle courtyard one year later:

• "We shouldn't be alone together" like girl

• I love how she's almost exasperated by it

• When she fantasized about this all-consuming high-stakes love she probably didn't think about how exhausting it would be to actually live with it all the time

• Like having this conversation every single month does sound exhausting

• The way she's actively trying to drive him out of Camelot, Genny is so much and I respect it

• She's really doing her best in a way that involves truly torturing Lance, he should really do some soul searching about why he loves someone who treats him this way

• "I've trained dogs to chase you"/"And those dogs were fast.. the expression his bark is worse than his bite that wasn't my experience"

• Sorkin slightly breaking the tension of this scene which is so needed

• "You're not English"/"Neither are you"/"I think that changed when I became queen of England"

• I also feel like there is a lot to unpack in this exchange

• "And when would I do that Genny?"

• The angst in that delivery

• If Ever I Should Leave You is so gorgeous

• I think it was Sorkin who basically said that the show doesn't need magic because the songs provide enough magic on their own and this is the perfect example

• Jordan Donica is tremendous

• I knew him from Charmed and it took me a bit to place him but holy shit

• I may have actually seen him before, I'd have to check but regardless I need to be paying attention to literally any theater he does because I want to go

• This applies to all of them, who am I kidding

• Anyway, he's amazing here and I am probably underselling him in this post because I only saw him half the times and so my memories are much less clear

• And my reference is closing which was not him by this point

• And the outro music (? sorry I know nothing about music) is absolutely stunning

• This song is so romantic but also very shallow

• They're fulfilling a version of love that is all big gestures and big feelings but not necessarily substance

• Because they're trying to fill a void in themselves using the other and when you do that, you can't see the person as an actual person

• Just an extension of your unmet need

• Which is too bad because I think if they weren't, they might actually like each other

• But fuck is this song so romantic

• Every lyric is good, the way they're sung, I think I may for the first time have use of the phrase swoon worthy

• Specifically the end

• "I have a thrilling engagement. I'm giving prizes at the potato show. I'm eager to find out what the qualities of a prize winning potato are"/"I'll be at your side Ma'am"/"Thank goodness for that, those potatoes can be dangerous"

• The lines are so funny and her delivery is so heartbreaking, I am suffering

• I do just love Genny so much and she deserves happiness dammit

• "So the rumors are true, the chain of wedlock is so heavy in Camelot it takes three to carry it"

• Mordred coming out with the one liners immediately

• "He's willing to make any old man a knight I see"

• Pelli immediately threatening violence, beautiful

• The whininess of "I shall be busy tomorrow afternoon" and slapping the bench

• Fourteen year old edgelord Mordred

• Very interesting to have him be a year younger than Arthur was when he became king, really underscoring how young he was

• "I was raising by a mother with a fatally broken heart. Makes for a dark childhood"

• Like do we think Mordred is just trying to drum up Arthur's sympathies or is this actually true?

• "And when you speak to the king, you should remember you're speaking to the king"

• Arthur literally never insists on any manner of kingly respect but his son is a little shit that he hates, so he will

• Love that

• "Dispatch to the court, the king has a child he fathered out of wedlock. Problem solved."

• The blackmail just instantly failing is very funny

• Also would love to know how the conversation about this between Genny and Arthur went

• "I'm not ashamed of you. You don't embarass me though it's not for lack of trying."

• That's too generous, Mordred is embarrassing

• "It's always been my wish that you and your mother stay here where I can take care of you both"/"Stay where, in the servants' quarters?"/"In any quarters you like"/"Except the queen's"

• I wonder if Mordred is the one who feels this way or if he's just parroting back what Morgan has said

• "I was a boy when I met your mother"/"And my mother turned you into a man"/"A man named Merlyn turned me into a man"/"That's a new bit of palace gossip"/"No you idiot, he was my teacher"

• Obviously sarcastic Arthur is always a treat and specifically the facial expression and tone of no you idiot

• But just so curious about Morgan and Arthur because Arthur gets pissed at that whole turned into a man bit

• And he has been pretty chill with Mordred being terrible for this whole scene

• He's very much not comfortable with what Mordred is saying and this is the only moment where Mordred gets under his skin and like that is very interesting

• "In this place the law applies equally to everyone"/"Even the king and queen?"/"Especially the king and queen"

• You are literally watching the light bulb pop over Mordred's head and it's played perfectly

• Everyone in this cast is perfect

• The Seven Deadly Virtues has no right to be this funny

• "Making my Beelzebubble burst" is my favorite but really this entire song is great

• It's such a petulant performance and it's perfect

Act 2, Scene 2: The King's study

• Another amazing bit of scene change music

• The intimacy of them spending their evening playing chess together and talking

• Presumably this is just what they do on a lot of nights and I love it

• I feel like there's definitely potential in a their relationship through chess fic

• Someone please

• I firmly believe they are at like a full 50-50 split in terms of who wins

• "Are you really reading while you're chasing me around the board?"/"Sorry I didn't hear you, I was reading and chasing you around the board"

• And his okay in the middle like he knows he set himself up to get mocked

• Making fun of each other is one of my favorite love languages

• Also same structure as Arthur telling her it will seem that she's rooting for Lancelot to lose and she says that's because she is rooting for Lancelot to lose

• It's just a fun little dialouge thing that I enjoy Genny doing

• Makes her lines feel hers

• I love that Arthur has Merlyn's final warning on his mind so naturally he consults Genny

• And then it devolving into a philosophical discussion about what is and is not possible

• "I was 10,000th person to try, how do you explain that?"/"9,999 people loosened it"

• A perfect and funny line that becomes sweet and profound later on, I will never not love that

• "We have greatness in our grasp, humanity does, but for some reason every time we see it we assign the responsibility to some supernatural force. Or to god."

• You would think given the structure of the love triangle that Arthur would be set up to scoff at the idea that god has responsibility for human greatness in contrast to Lance being extremely devout

• And like I do think Arthur and Genny are actually on the same page but I enjoy that she gets to voice that thought

• This is the woman who first ran away and then threw prayer on top after as a little afterthought so yeah perhaps Genny is not the best catholic

• "Perhaps when he died, his soul transmogrified-"/"What did I just say?"

• Arthur immediately needling her and doing that stupid little hand motion on transmogrified

• They're adorable

• "I enjoy seeing you get riled up"

• This is what you say to a woman you're about to call your business partner? In that way?

• I don't know who to blame because I can't tell if the line or delivery is more of the culprit

• No it's the delivery, I have literally put in the audio as proof

• The audacity, I'm obsessed

• He's got it so bad

• Could've had this Genny

• Like Mr. Purity of Soul who thinks women can't possibly understand politics has absolutely never considered the concept of female pleasure, for sure has never heard of foreplay, and definitely believes the clit and g-spot are both myths

• I love Lance but proposition: there's no way that man is good in bed

• Everything else mean I've said about Lance has been out of love but I love Genny and she doesn't deserve mediocre dick

• And yet he's playing by Jordan Donica so it is also valid and understandable

• Sorry, I digress but gotta find the humor in the whole none of them get to be happy business

• But actually I really appreciate that even in this tragic narrative with big ideas and a lot of angst, they get to have fun and be fun

• Even as their relationship is about to hit its breaking point, you can still tell they're not just torturedly in love but they actually like each other so much

• "And while you're enjoying it, let me ask you this... how often do you write to her?"

• Genny is attempting to play it cool but boy is she not

• The little pause between often and write and then to her, oof

• It's so soft but like the hint is there

• The silence while Arthur makes his move on the board, ugh

• "I send a letter a week"/"Every week?"/"Yes"/"For how long?"/"Mordred's fourteen, he came to me when he was ten so four years"/"That's 208 letters"/"I have a responsibility there, I'm trying to do-"/"Do the chivalrous thing"/"Yes"

• It's so painful to hear their deliveries and realize they're having two separate conversations where they're both upset and they don't understand the other person is feeling the same

• Like Genny getting alarmed at 208 letters, Arthur getting frustrated and defensive about it and cutting Genny's last line off, and then Genny delivery of do the chivalrous thing like she's so tired

• It is so besides the point but how exactly was Arthur expecting the fucking soap opera and/or sitcom situation he's trying to create going

• Like his piece of shit kid, his ex who hates him, his wife that he loves whose feelings for him he doesn't have a handle on, and his bestie whose feelings for his wife Arthur definitely does know

• I know castles are very big but I don't think they're big enough to make that situation good for anyone

• "You've never asked me her name"/"Is it Morgan Le Fay?"/"How did you know that?"/"And she's a scientist"

• Genny has been holding this in for a whole year and she's finally ready to use it

• She says it like she's caught Arthur in some kind of lie which obviously she hasn't but I do wonder if she's had this conversation in her head enough times that she's already thinking the worst

• "He blames me for her condition. All the more reason why I want them both to be here at the castle. She needs care."

• That long pause before condition and the way he says it like maybe Arthur also blames himself

• And they're still playing chess throughout this whole thing as if they can pretend that this conversation isn't causing them both pain

• The sound of the pieces getting moved on the board while during the tense silences, yes

• And now we get to me being emotionally destroyed

• This scene is a roller coaster and the writing and acting of it is perfect in every way

• "We're more than king and queen, you and I. Don't you think?"

• He's so unsure, he's always so unsure it is torture

• The emphasis on you

• But also he does in some way recognize that she's upset about Morgan and he gets so close but spectacularly fails

• Genny is so hopeful on the "Yes, yes I do"

• Him stammering out and Genny trying one more yes to get him to come up with something

• And then that something is business partners

• In my brain I am screaming

• I have done nothing but make fun of Arthur for business partners (and friends) since I first saw this show and I will continue to do it now

• However I do think that for him, in the context of his experience being thrust into royalty, he is actually expressing a very romantic sentiment

• He meets Genny and tells her about Camelot and she doesn't think she's worthy of that

• But here he's affirming that she is, that she's his partner in this and he recognizes her worth

• They talk in the second scene and she mentions that as a princess she doesn't have friends

• And here he's telling her that they are friends, that she isn't alone

• And we see how uncomfortable Arthur is being treated as the king

• And he's trying to tell Genny that he cares for her as a person and not just the queen he traded for in a treaty

• He wants her to see him that way because if she sees him as just Arthur and not the king, then maybe he can tell her how he feels

• But also maybe it you are a man and your confession of love to a woman contains the words "I know this is an unusual thing for a man to say about a woman but" you have turned down the wrong path

• "Yes. Friends. And business partners"

• Her delivery is so ice cold, it's perfect

• The fact that she says this and even Arthur picks up on her tone and knows he fucked up

• Arthur trying to fix things and being interrupted

• His frustration with himself is so heartbreaking

• I am still screaming in my brain just louder now

• Pelli is great but also he is the cause of so many of Arthur and Genny's resentments and miscommunications, the man's a magnet for drama

• He's so funny in this scene trying to complain to Arthur and Arthur already knowing all of Mordred's bullshit

• And yelling dammit so many times in the most perfect way like me with every person who has ever annoyed me

• "Because England doesn't have a law against limericks"

• The fact that even though they're in the middle of this weird emotional mess, Arthur looks to Genny when he's talking about how Pelli's question is complicated

• His thinking buddy

• And business partner

• Also the idea that Arthur is so chill with the fact that he doesn't have the answer, that he's laying groundwork for future progress instead of assuming it will be accomplished by him

• Which is just inherently a concept I think I struggle with, that the world will not change in all the ways it should in my lifetime but the work now still has to be done

• So I like to see it

• Not going to write out another good Sorkin speech about ideas but I love this one too rest assured

• And we've had a nice little break, now we're back to chess and Arthur trying to force out something coherent and me screaming in my brain again

• I still can't get over the way they're still playing chess I'm sorry

• Genny saying "you're in check" with a different delivery every time to convey her emotional state

• The range

• Arthur just trying so hard to come up with anything again, I am personally suffering

• "What I feel-"/"I thought it was right on the money"/"Oh you do?"

• Then I think he says "oh okay" but I don't even know

• They were so close this is the worst

• Still chess

• "Do you regret being born a princess?"/"I'm confident that most people would gladly trade their problems for mine"/"But you're not talking to them right now"

• Firstly the show does an amazing job recontexualizing What Do the Simple Folk Do and everything around it so A+ for that

• But also Arthur is so empathetic in this moment

• "I know you're sad sometimes. That you miss whatever life you were searching for the night you ran from the carriage. The simple joys of maidenhood you called it. You do a good job of hiding it from the court but when you feel sad you-"/"can talk to my business partner?"/"Well I think I might be good at cheering you up"

• The delivery is so sincere

• He sees her pain and he cares so much

• He feels responsible for the life that she missed out on by marrying him

• And he wants to help

• In many ways, he is terrible at expressing his feelings but again in some small respects, he does absolutely knock it out of the park

• Even if Genny can't see it

• "If there was a tournament for cheering you up, I think I'd win"/"Oh as long as there wasn't a bird nearby"/"It wasn't just any bird, it was a white tailed eagle both times"

• The way they move from emotional conversations and annoyed miscommunications back to humor with such ease

• Arthur's bird obsession continues to be one of the best bits of characterization ever

• Genny making fun of Arthur's various words for peasants

• I love What Do the Simple Folk Do so much

• It's just perfectly constructed and the rhymes are pretty genius

• I love every single lyric

• And I love that this song gives Arthur and Genny a chance to be charming and reconnect after the second half of act 1 and the beginning of act 2 were so focused on Genny and Lance

• And then this scene has so much going on that it reminds you why they're the couple of the show

• I didn't need reminding because I'm trash for them but other people might

• All of the little jokes between the lyrics are so funny

• The delivery of "the very last thing you should have is encouragement" is so much funnier than on the cast recording

• Like what is this? So charming

• "My father used to say I sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice"

• I'm so glad this is at least on the cast recording

• She plays it so straight, it's so good

• This may be my favorite of the songs

• And the dance, they're so cute, the squeeling kills me

• I can't adequately express how much I need to find a bootleg so I can witness this again, the whole scene really but mostly this

• I cannot handle the way they say "Genny"/"Your Majesty"

• Fuuuuck

• The groan in the audience at "a letter from my mother", the pure expression of fuck Mordred

• "He's been waiting a long time."/"Yes"/"My mother was his first, you know"/"I had that sense, yes"/"They say you never fully get over your first love"

• Genny hates Mordred so much and she's right

• He's hitting her exactly where it hurts but Arthur can't even tell

• Also fascinating that Mordred can actually see the dynamic between Genny and Arthur and Lance so much more clearly than the people involved

• "You think you might possibly be spending the night?"

• Like her deliveries were getting more panicked but then this one

• Like she can't even believe what she's hearing and he doesn't even get it

• The long silence after Mordred says Lance has the queen's protection detail

• As people make mmms in the audience

• And then their last little exchange

• Ouch

• Genny telling Arthur what she herself actually needs to be told and Arthur having no clue

• "His queen's in danger"

• Mordred is the absolute worst and it's perfect

• The reprise of the Simple Joys of Maidenhood, so sad and I can't handle it

• I think this is her moment of just fully sitting in the idea that her husband doesn't love her and sees her so completely separate from that that he doesn't even understand why she's so upset to see him dash away overnight to see another woman

• And that he therefore doesn't and won't love her in the way she's singing about

• And thinking that she has the knight pining for her but it isn't enough and sets up her trying to make it enough

• She's grown so much since she first sang the song but she still can't fill the void of wanting this kind of love

• But also knowing that kind of love isn't enough

• I love her

Act 2, Scene 3: The home of Morgan Le Fey/Guenevere's Chamber/ Castle corridor - on that evening

• The into music to Morgan is gorgeous, perhaps my favorite

• It's hard to introduce an important character this late into the show and make them so memorable, even if they've been hanging over the narrative for a while now

• And still have them knock it out of the park but once again, this show is perfectly cast

• The tension of this whole scene is everything

• Morgan's laugh and then "Jesus christ it's the king of England"

• Immediately sets her up perfectly

• And we get something totally different out of Arthur

• I love their dialouge which I am once again trying not to just fully write out, I love their chemistry, I love how quickly their friendliness breaks down

• He does sound genuinely happy to see her at the beginning but as soon as he asks if she's feeling well, they start to cool

• I can't even pick specific lines because everything is such a vibe

• You feel the history and complication and the years apart where everything has changed for both of them and the way that she's the one person who knew him as just Arthur

• "I know exactly who you are"

• Like of course this one was gonna have a line reading that lends itself to multiple things but that's always good and I like it

• Genny ranting to Lance about the number of letters Arthur wrote to Morgan

• She finally gets to be pissed and Phillipa Soo plays it so well

• "Don't review my arithmetic in your head, it's 208"

• Even at her most angry, she still must make sure Lance knows she's right, very relatable

• "I questioned the king, we've all questioned the king"

• This adaptation has built in the knights discontent so well that it's believable that they've just been growing more resentful over time

• "Because one cannot legislate goodness Pellinore, which at the end of the day, is the mission of the round table"/"And what say you Sagramore?"/"Well tell me, when we're all equal will peasants live like knights or will knights live like peasants?"

• Their entire speech is amazing

• The knights growing angrier as they realize they're all on the same page

• The way that it all fits seamlessly into the story we see on the stage but there's also no denying it's about the time we're living in right now

• But again, not in a way where it feels out of nowhere or too heavy handed

• "I throw away the letters, I give away the money"

• I love the way she delivers her lines so dismissively

• I wonder how much of it is her feelings and how much of it is trying to hurt Arthur as much as he's hurt her

• "That part gets left out of the legend" I think is the first moment where Arthur gets under Morgan's skin just a bit

• Like I'm not sure what she wants/wanted from Arthur but maybe it was just that she doesn't like being erased from the story

• "What wife could possibly object?"

• I love her bitterness mounting leading up to this line and actually hearing her call herself Arthur's wife which is I don't think is something she does before

• "I admire the king's commitment to doing the right thing no matter what. That's what a man does, and god knows it should be what a king does."

• I love watching Genny justify her anger because on one level she knows it isn't fair to be angry

• That she really does admire Arthur's goodness and believes he's doing the right thing

• That it's not that he's going to see Morgan, that he wants to bring her to the castle, it's about his actions with Genny

• Or I suppose the lack of consideration of her feelings in maybe the most hurtful way where there was nothing deliberate, it just didn't even occur to him

• She's so hurt

• Everyone in this scene gets to be extremely mad and I love it

• "When he ran out of here, he didn't think it would trouble me at all. He didn't think the letters would mean anything to me. Or staying overnight. Mordred said his mother was his first true love. Business partner. He said it right in front of me as if I wouldn't mind"/"Do you?"/"No, of course not. It's just that it was the first time that it's been demonstrated to me that-"/"Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"/"Yes"

• Everything is on her face and in her voice

• She's so hurt, so angry, so tired of not being loved

• And when she says of course it doesn't bother her, when she pulls back her feelings in front of Lance

• And her delivery of yes like something clicks in her brain, probably their entire relationship is flashing in her brain and she's building up evidence that it's true

• Lance has articulated exactly what she didn't know she was feeling

• And the music under it underscores each emotion perfectly

• Again Phillipa Soo is just emotionally devastating in this scene

• But also gotta go back to "Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"

• Like right now I'm just thinking back to Arthur referring to Genny as French to Lance when they first meet and again when he asks her to tell Lance he's being invested

• While Genny in that scene and in the first scene of act 2 keeps referring to her country as England while Lance claims her as French like him

• I wonder if that distinction is one of the things that feeds into her (and Lance?) feeling like Arthur doesn't think of her as his wife

• That she's trying to keep proclaiming her loyalty and he keeps putting a border between them

• At least in her point of view

• While he's as always trying to show her that he sees and respects her as an autonomous individual and not a thing he owns

• Am I reading too far into this? Probably

• (You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now - honestly that it took me this long to make a Taylor Swift reference is a marvel)

• Anyway back to this tremendous scene

• Part of me does wonder if Lance really doesn't know how Arthur feels or if he's in denial because it's easier for him if Arthur doesn't think of Genny as his wife

• Like he does make a point to tell Arthur in the last scene that he and Genny aren't together

• He's gotta realize in this scene how Genny feels about Arthur but curious about the other way around

• Or ya know, maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just as emotionally inept as everyone else in this show

• Don't really have a point, it's just an interesting thought

• How do so many versions cut Fie on Goodness?

• Like not only is it an amazing song but also it's sort of the whole damn point

• If you cut it, the ideals of Camelot are barely even a plot, it's all love triangle

• Also just want to take a moment to appreciate how gross the lyrics to this one are

• This is for sure my favorite sequence

• The intro speech to the song is perfect

• Them just getting worked up about how England is special, it is better, that they're the ones who should be listened to

• "Don't dare question our loyalty to the king"/"A king who encourages debate"

• Again I just love the knights' conflicted feelings about Arthur

• So it's easiest to shift all the blame to Genny and Lance

• This song is so good, this cast is so good

• "That day that I became king, my cousin gave me his tutor, a man named Merlyn. And Merlyn spoke to me of a great cause that I could lead. But I would have to stay unmarried until a young princess in France came of age"/"And you left me unmarriable, a woman with a child"/"I didn't know about the child until he came and introduced himself"/"You raise your voice to me? Have I displeased you your majesty?"/"Stop calling me that"/"I know all about the French princess-"/"The queen"/"and the grand cause-"/"great cause"/"I don't give a damn"

• This is a stupid amount of text that I've typed out but I love their back and forth here

• Arthur trying to justify himself and not wanting to take responsibility and them both getting angry at each other

• Morgan and her relationship with Arthur have been changed pretty drastically to the point that she's not even the same character and I like it and her so much

• I do wonder what the intent was here because I feel like you could read a lot of different things into their dynamic

• And to what that means about Arthur

• I mean I get the sense that she's maybe always been maybe a bit of an outsider, maybe always was a little more world-weary (or maybe not, maybe getting left pregnant while he became king hardened her)

• And maybe their power dynamic has been completely flipped but also maybe Arthur still has a hard time not letting it flip back

• Because like there's no doubt for me that for whatever reason, she was the one holding the cards originally and he doesn't know how to deal with her now

• Like I don't know if she's older or Arthur was always bad at love so she would have just been the more confident person but there's something there

• She obviously has a completely different point of view than anyone else in the show which I love

• And she gets under Arthur's skin so easily

• I guess because she's the one casuality of his great cause, the one wrong he can't right

• Also "stop calling me that" is so petulant teen

• And he was that when he knew her so of course it comes out

• "You seem quick to betray the king"/"I would die before I betrayed King Arthur"/"Yet here you are"/"I can't rise above being a man, a human man. I can't transcend it no matter how hard I try"

• My favorite Lance line

• Ugh it's perfect

• He's so tortured and so good at conveying that in his delivery

• He's getting some character growth

• Genny being both not wrong but also putting it on him so she doesn't have to think about her own behavior

• "My duty is to god, King Arthur, and the round table. I can best serve all three with my absence. It's a small price for one person to pay for a greater good"

• Ooh the self-loathing hits so good

• And Genny panicking because she's about to get left for the second time tonight

• The playing of If Ever I Would Leave You

• Because he is, or he's at least trying to

• To do the right thing

• Genny and Lance speaking French together, always good even thought I can't understand shit

• "No more talking"

• And the bed just being pulled out of the scene

• I just love how the song is interspersed with these scenes, this sequence is truly brilliant and the energy of it in the theater is truly unmatched

• "All the letters that followed-"/"All the letters that followed offered me room and board along with the cash. Imagine how moved I was by the chivalry"

• Ah mocking chivalry, a family pastime

• Again, I just love the way she goes in on Arthur's attempts to do the right thing over and over

• And again I don't know if it's because he wouldn't give her what she actually wanted or pure vengence

• "Guilty and alive once more" is probably my favorite line from the song

• "Let me ask you this question and I'm entitled to the truth. If there hadn't been a cause, a great case, would you have married me? No."/"I was fifteen years old that night and the next day I was king. I was anointed by the archbishop of Canterbury in York and those men think they put me in direct contact with the divine. There was a cause."

• Clearly in her mind he was never going to marry her but we know from Pelli that when he met Arthur when he was already king, he was still very much in love with Morgan

• More than 10 years (plus then a year that's passed in story) before this could be lots of different amounts of time but it could have been up to a few years into Arthur being king which is a long while

• So the answer was probably yes

• But he doesn't say any of that because his feelings don't matter, he's too focused on justifying his cause, that it was important enough to make up for her life

• And ya know Camelot is what's important now, Camelot is what he and Genny have devoted their lives to, he can't fail

• This is the scene where I just conspiracy board Genny and Arthur's relationship

• This is fine, I'm normal about this show, that's why I wrote all of this

• Either way I think it must really bother Athur that Morgan might think he's not a good man

• We saw it with Genny and the courtesans thing too

• Like obviously part of that was being in love with her but also I think it fucks with his self-image as a person who does the right thing which is his entire life

• And Morgan's the biggest crack in that in his mind which is why he gets angry pretty much constantly in this scene

• At least that's my theory

• I love that we get see him cracking a bit under the strain of being good and trying to rise above being a human being just like everyone else in this scene

• He's got a lot more moral fortitude than the rest of the characters so it just manifests as him getting to be angry and express it to another person for once but still

• He makes excuses, he gets mad, he won't accept that Morgan's version of events is also true and he can't force her to be okay with it

• I don't know, there's something nice about narrative not saying that making the choices of the knights or Genny and Lance is inevitable, Arthur does make the right choices but he still isn't perfect here

• "And I won't live in a spare room in a castle and be the used and discarded former mistress of a king... but I will be the mother of one"

• So like how much of Mordred's plans are Mordred and how much is Morgan?

• And you know used and discarded former mistress of a king is killing Arthur

• "And he didn't"/"What?"/"Put you in direct contact with the divine"/"That is made clear to me every day"

• Morgan did a good job of pretending indifference at the beginning but the more she lays into Arthur, the more hostile things get between them, it's so clear that if the opposite of love is indifference then they haven't managed to get over loving each other

• It's just soured and rotted but won't die

• More so for Morgan because she paid the price, she couldn't move on in the way he could

• "And I wouldn't want to see your face when you realize it didn't make a difference. There'll be greed and injustice and hate and horror. You can change the stuff but people stay exactly the same. No one whose opponent was human nature has ever won a fight. Human nature responds to-"/"Inspiration"/"Fear. And that's it"

• It's so cruel but also a great illustration of the ways that they're fundamental opposites

• "I don't forget anything"

• Another extremely loaded line delivery

• (Don't make an All Too Well reference, don't make an All Too Well reference, don't)

• The panic and realization of "he's not stupid" and the music that builds to it and Morgan's laugh ugh perfect

• The intro music to I Loved You Once in Silence is gorgeous

• Lance and Genny in white feeling guilty as hell is a good visual

• So much regret

• Just instantly

• I feel like the moment they've actually acted on their feelings, they know that it's not only a mistake but also that their feelings aren't actually what they thought

• Well maybe Lance doesn't quite have it yet in this scene but he gets there

• Not to repeat what I said about the first scene in act 2 but

• My take is that they intentionally deepened Arthur and Genny's relationship and Lance's character but not Lance and Genny's relationship

• They intentionally left it shallow

• That these are two people who are missing something and the easiest way for them to get that is to frame what they have as love

• I mean for Genny it's sort of obvious, she's married to a man she's in love with but that she thinks doesn't love her

• Lance makes her feel certain about his feelings for her and that's validating

• But Lance, I feel like I have thoughts but I'm not sure

• Lance has never been forced to reckon with temptation before

• And instead of facing that in himself

• He just makes Genny part of the list of things that define him

• A goddess on earth and a god above

• Along with the table

• And he can worship them all to avoid having to figure out who he actually is

• It's not him admitting he has a human weakness, it's a grand tragic love story that he can suffer for

• And suffering, well that's what lets him cope with whatever about himself he feels is so terrible that he needs to punish himself for it

• He's so terrified to look inward, so afraid of something in himself that he just finds his identity in other people and institutions

• And he can't hide behind that anymore because he's betrayed it all, every single thing

• I feel like this makes it sound like I don't like Lance and I very much do

• He's just particularly flawed because he's the only one who doesn't start the show knowing that about himself

• They all make choices out of self-loathing and fear of unworthiness but I do think Lance thinks consciously he's above that for most of the show even if subconsciously he knows he isn't

• He's the only one of the main three to not really finish his character journey within the confines of this narrative

• Arguably he only starts right now and finally realizes he's not the man he thought he was

• Again fic potential somone???

• Well that was a tangent

• Jordan Donica's performance of I Loved You Once in Silence is so heartbreaking

• "Lance I made a mistake. I'm sorry but you're a good man and I should have been nicer to you."

• I love that, I love that she takes her responsibility (even if she's already trying to cover up what happened)

• But also it's just the clearst indication that acting on her feelings killed them

• She doesn't need to push Lance away anymore to stop herself from doing anything

• I love that Lance tries to surrender peacefully

• He's willing to take responsibility not for his noble suffering anymore but because he is a good man and he knows he's done what he's been accused of

• And he only attacks because he has to

• Mordred's evil laugh

• Lance being slightly disheveled and grabbing Mordred's sword to fight off the guards and escape

• I don't have any kind of intellectual take, this is just a personal problem for me

• My jaw was on the floor when Lance started yelling back about coming for her if he survives

• Such a tense ramp up into Guenevere

Act 2, Scene 4: The trial/The Battle

• Guenevere has such amazing lyrics

• The entire "more than love met its doom"/"came the sundown of a dream" verse destroys me

• And I love every word of added dialouge, so correct to put it on the cast recording

• I feel I must explain my love for the staging of this song some more because it is so simple and I understand that some people are not into it but I so much am

• I love the way they close off the back of the stage for I think the only time in the whole show and it becomes claustrophobic all of the sudden

• Now Arthur is stuck in this little box in front of the audience while everything falls apart for him and that's what you have to look at so there's no getting away from how devastating it is

• We just get some full force Andrew Burnap acting and I love it, I think by now it should be clear that I would

• In other versions that I've seen, there's a lot more happening and we see Genny

• And we see Arthur see her tied to the stake and Lancelot show up to rescue her

• Which I do like in theory

• But we don't really see Genny have any actual role or even seeming to have any particular feelings about what she's done or what's about to happen

• Like she's about to die and I've yet to see a version where I have any idea if she's got a single emotion about that

• Despite the name of the song, I think this show decided this scene isn't about Genny, it's about Arthur

• It's about the consequences of his laws

• It's about the beginning of his new war

• Arthur screaming "Pelli I know" like we see him start to crack

• Oh to know who told Arthur and how he took it

• "Well do something"/"She's under arrest. She's been accused of treason"/"Arthur I understand that you're angry but"/"She's been accused of breaking the law. She has to be judged"

• The delivery of that last line, ugh

• He keeps it impersonal, it isn't about what she did to him or his pain, it's about the law

• The law they lovingly crafted together

• "What a magnificent dilemma: let her die and you're a monster, let her live and you're a fraud. Which will it be? Do you kill the queen or the law?"

• Fuck

• The delivery is so good

• Mordred is having the time of his life shrieking about Arthur's pain

• The killing the queen or the law bit seems to be mostly unchanged and it's maybe the best single line from the original book

• Although it went from kill the queen and your life is over to you're a monster

• Mordred has to know Arthur is in love with Genny, right?

• Maybe he just can't imagine Arthur could love a person more than he loves his ideals which I guess would make sense given Morgan and Arthur's relationship

• Arthur drawing his sword on Mordred!!!

• "Ooh careful your majesty, you wouldn't want to be barbaric"

• The fact that Mordred thinks that's going to work, that he can continue to poke at Arthur and he won't respond, he really does believe in Arthur's goodness doesn't he?

• "You are exiled from this court. Return and I will show you what barbaric looks like"

• Arthur screaming at Mordred with his hand around his throat is so intense

• It's so good

• Another gasp out loud in the theater moment

• Arthur is fully unraveling and I'm obsessed

• "I know my way out"

• It's such a teenage delivery and like Mordred is just a kid who feels abandoned by his father

• And as much as this is a tragedy for the three main characters, it's no less a tragedy for Mordred

• Aging down Mordred, also a great choice

• And again, just another stellar performance

• Every single person in this cast just knocked it out of the park in a way I never could have anticipated

• "Arthur please, I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous but for the love of god, it's Genny. She made a mistake, she knows that."

• I love that Pelli loves her too

• That he isn't judging her

• "She broke the law Pellinore. A law signed by the king. So say the people"

• He starts trying to be calm but then the fact that it's his law brings up the anger and then he breaks on so say the people

• He's written his own destruction

• And empowered others to take the decision out of his hands

• I love the dialouge in this scene so damn much

• "Neither you nor I nor god himself can stop this terrible thing that's been put in motion"/"What are you waiting for?"/"I'm waiting for what's inevitably coming next"

• The delivery of coming next...

• Like obviously he wants Lance to save Genny but he knows that no matter what

• No matter if she lives or dies, peace is over and the round table has been destroyed

• And he needs to prepare

• Also the way he frames what's happening

• It's not what Genny and Lance or even Mordred caused

• It's just what's been set into motion by all these tiny and giant choices throughout the show that have bubbled over into the death of Camelot

• "That's Lancelot du Lac out there and he's brought a battalion. Double the guard, triple the guard, those guards are going to die tonight"

• How many times can I just copy a bunch of text and write the delivery

• Because yup

• The lack of hope from Arthur is chilling

• Arthur getting dragged back into the war he worked so hard to end

• Just every line delivery in this scene is perfect

• Every lyric of the song

• Every acting choice

• And I love to see it visually

• Preparing for war isn't an exciting spectacle, it's tragic

Act 2, Scene 5: Outside Joyous Gard - on the eve of war

• The way they fade in on the eve of war just broke my heart every time

• I would love to know how much communication there was between Arthur and Lance and how

• Like how much of a role did Arthur play in the whole Genny not getting burned business?

• And the fact that his first question is whether they've been injured

• Even after everything, he's a good man who cares

• And Genny and Lance too, being willing to come back and die

• They're all good people who made mistakes but still good people

• "I assure you, if I thought it would end all this, I would light the fire myself"

• Absolutely brutal but like after he lays out all the death and rebellion that have already happened I guess brutal is fair

• Ya know, if I thought he meant it even a little

• "Lance, come morning some of your countrymen are going to be at the end of my sword. It's not personal, it's just my job. Stay safe Lance."/"I can't do that. And neither can you. Godspeed your majesty."

• I just love the idea of Lance and Arthur as these two people who love each other spearheading this war neither of them believe in

• It's so tragic

• Their goodbye is so understated which for Lance is like truly a great bit of contrast

• They've had enough big declarations, these few sentences just distill everything perfectly

• And then we come to Genny and Arthur, fuck fuck fuck

• The first time I saw this I spent like all of intermission and act 2 with a loop in my brain of but they love each other, right?

• I am unrepentant trash for them in this version as though that wasn't abundantly clear

• And Aaron Sorkin delivered for me so hard in this scene

• "Please let me die, Arthur"

• The pause before his name

• And now we get to the part where I start to get like teary-eyed in the theater

• "Two very powerful men did this to you... not Mordred and Lance, your father and me"

• That long pause before and me

• I love his whole speech, I almost typed it all out

• And they allow so much silence during it

• And the way he's like trying to hold it together but he can't by the end

• "You were treated like a queen but you were my hostage Genny, what the hell did we think was going to happen?"

• That he recognizes and actually admits the ways that his choices have harmed Genny, the unfairness in the entire situation he's put her through

• That he can see even through his own hurt and the enormity of what has been set into motion, his own responsibility for what's happened

• Like he's not right but he's also not wrong

• "And for it's worth, I've been in love with you this whole time"

• Not even looking at her so we have to see it instead ugh

• And then watch that long silence while Genny just like rearranges her entire view of their relationship

• "For what it's worth? Did you just say for what it's worth?"/"Well I thought maybe you'd like to know that. But I wasn't sure."

• Just smashing my heart into tiny little pieces

• After everything they've been to each other, after all they built together, he still doesn't even know if his feelings will matter to her

• While Genny is getting ready to lose her mind after for what it's worth

• They're so absolutely emotionally inept

• "You weren't sure? Why didn't you ever tell me before?"/"It doesn't matter"/"Why?"/"How could I? I'm the king of England. You'd have been forced to pretend you felt the same way"

• Again they are delivering lines in a way that is continuing to smash the little pieces of my heart into complete dust

• Like Arthur is again not wrong but not right

• His life is so lonely because of this crown he didn't want and his desire to actually be responsible with that power

• And even now he tries to get out of explaining that to her

• I love him so much is the problem

• And then her mmm like all the pieces are coming together in her brain that they've both been suffering for nothing and she is pissed

• I love her so much which is also the problem

• Incidentally, both of these things are also their problem so very relatable

• "Out of curiousity, if I had told you, what would you have said?"/"That I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment you spoke, from the moment you sang me that stupid song about the weather"/"It's not about the weather it's a metaphor"/"I know it's a metaphor"

• The way Genny overlaps him asking, she can't even wait for him to finish

• The way she says stupid song

• The way that she's like, I did fall in love with you over that song but also I still hate it and think it's dumb

• She says it with such contempt

• Icon

• Even standing before the wreckage of their lives, they still can't stop bickering about the song, I'm obsessed

• "I prayed every night that one day you would see me the way I saw you. And then you told me I was your business partner. Yes I was and I am in love with you"/"Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse"

• She prayed every night???

• For two years???

• That he would return her feelings???

• Fuck

• Like I don't know if I can convey how much them being in love with each other and thinking it's unrequited for two whole years ping pongs around my brain and just lights up all the synapses

• "Do you really think 10,000 people loosened that sword for me?"/"I do"/"So do I. That's a nice thought isn't it?"

• It is a nice thought

• I love the philosophy of this show, I love that there's no convoluted Arthur is actually the son of the last king so he was destined to be special

• These are just two people who though birth or circumstance ended up in this position of power and chose to do good with it

• Genny begging for just a little more time like the only reason I kept anything together was being in a theater but if feel confident that if I ever get my hands on footage of this show, I would have already been sobbing by this point

• "They won't let me let Lance save you twice so you have to go Princess Guenevere"

• Hearing him call her by her name is so deeply distressing

• Literally not once before in the show does it happen and it hurts

• And then they're playing Before I Gaze at You Again what an amazing choice

• Turning a love song she sang about Lance into this romantic moment for her and Arthur because theirs was the love story the whole time like brilliant

• That they chose the show's first love song and brought it back for Genny and Arthur being unable to leave each other without that hug and that kiss

• Like this song that is originally about the pain of unfulfilled love for the wrong person and then flipping it to the pain of fulfilled love with the right one

• I am so not okay

• Also people did very loudly applaud at closing when they kissed and I was so glad because truly in my head I was doing it every time

• "I love you"/"I love you too"/"God save the king"

• I mean these are some good last words to say to each other, I'll give them that

• The thing about the original version of the musical is that the ending was already a perfect concept

• Here it just feels more meaningful because they lay that groundwork about inspiring the next generation throughout

• Tom trying to con Arthur about his age is very funny

• This kid is so good and adorable

• "You're speaking to a king"/"I'm twelve years old"

• Like his comedic delivery, very impressive

• "And when did you decide upon this nonexistent career?"

• We get a solid 60 seconds of cynical Arthur and that's about it

• The entire concept of this kid being inspired by the stories of Camelot is just deeply moving and beautiful

• And just the entirety of Andrew Burnap's performance of that realization hitting Arthur

• I love a story that's about the power of stories

• People also applauded at the last show when Arthur says the stories were all true which I also just deeply love

• Arthur's I know exactly how you feel when Tom says he's not ready to be a knight and putting his arm around him, so cute

• "And you will return to your home alive"

• The way he says alive

• Like I think Arthur knows that he's not making it out of this

• Even if he would manage to survive the battle and Mordred, he knows his time is done

• But the the future is still there

• And there is about to be so much death

• Some of it from his sword or his orders

• And the rest of it of his men

• But at least this kid, he's going to live

• The reprise of Camelot... I just love it so much

• "I've won my battle, here's my victory"

• Not a new line but just such a gorgeous one

• The entire idea of the story of Camelot as a tragedy but a hopeful one just gets me

• It's such a beautiful conclusion that this version sets up so so well

• I love that we end on a speech again, just like act 1

• Also that last bit of music as they walk off, stunning

• I have attempted to track down as many older productions of this show as I can including the movie which was good but I am biased and I do sort of think Sorkin and Bartlett Sher and the actors and everyone else involved had the more interesting take on the themes and characters

• A Broadway musical is best when it has simple but impactful themes and big emotions

• And that's exactly what this version gave us

• The highest compliment I can give this show is that not only have I not stopped thinking about it, not only did I tell everyone I know to see it, not only did I want to see the show again (and again and...), but it also just made me feel inspired to see more theater in a way I haven't in a serious while

• I just love this show so much and I'm so glad there are some people here who can't get over it either

• This is what I have to offer, the longest possible unhinged rant and bad quality closing audio, that is all

#it is bad that i wrote all of this #but it's worse that I had to learn I vomited out more words than tumblr even allows #this is what Camelot has done to me #this and made me see just so much more theater than I have ever #still riding the high of watching this cast live apparently #This Barbie can't shut up about Camelot #maybe three is enough unhinged long rants about this show #I wouldn't put money on it but we can all hope #I think the only thing that can sate my soul is a proshot #or sate my soul like 50% with a bootleg #and 50% by casting everyone in this show in good new stuff #preferably produced by my friend's boss so I can maybe get a free ticket #I'm waiting for the most crucial moment to be that annoying friend who asks for a perk #Camelot Musical #the freedom I feel having this note off my phone though

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probably-writing-x · 11 months

Text

Armour - Chapter Five

Summary: Having your heart broken was one thing. But Rafe watching somebody break your heart? That was something nobody could prepare for.

Warnings: Cursing, I thinkkkkk that’s everything?

Author’s Note: I LOVE this series and I LOVE y’all for loving it <3 thank u thank u thank u thank u

———

You’d been in the same routine with Rafe for over a month now, constant calls, constant conversation, constant effort. And it had got to the point of feeling like second nature - like your hand reached for the phone at the same time every day when you knew his shift would be ending, you cooked your food and knew to wait for him to finish cooking his before you’d both facetime and start whatever film or episode you’d picked for the day. Since that one random day, he hadn’t said ‘i love you’ again, and you were yet to say it back. So far, you were sticking to your promise of waiting to see each other.

It was a strange feeling, really. You’d been single for two months now, though it hadn’t really felt like the kind of single you expected you’d be. You thought you’d still be crying if you thought about it, or you’d be scrolling through old photos on your phone acting like they were memories you hated, fearful of every day you were having to spend alone without the person you’d spent nine years of your life with. But… you were okay. You slept just fine on your own, you ate in restaurants and in cafes alone, you were experiencing a new city by yourself. And it was in those moments, all of the little bits that made up a day, where you truly realised that you’d moved on from James. Part of you would probably even want to thank him for ending the relationship when he did, maybe it was the best thing he could’ve done for you. You felt like yourself again.

Where Rafe fit into that new version of yourself was something that you hadn’t yet decided. It worked strangely well with the two of you thousands of miles apart, would things change when you were back to being at home. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. Were you fooling yourselves to think that it would ever be the way it was when the two of you were younger?

—__—__—

“(Y/N) hurry your ass up!” Rafe hisses from the car, quietly screaming into the air.

The passenger door is open and he’s leaning over the console towards the empty seat, watching as you tug your shoes on at the door, stumbling over untied laces to find your jacket and keys. There’s a mess of blankets tucked under one of your arms and you grab a pillow from where you’d left it on the stairs before hurrying out towards him.

“Shhh,” You hiss in return, tossing your stuff into the back seat of the car before climbing in.

Rafe had passed his driving test only two weeks before, and his father had bought him this truck almost instantly - you’d joked about him being spoilt but you weren’t exactly complaining now that it finally gave you the freedom to do things like this. Right now, it was 4:45am and the two of you were sneaking out to drive over to the far side of the island to watch the sunrise. If your parents knew that you were going, they’d give you the talk on how you had to watch yourself with Rafe - how you had to keep a fair distance from him. So far, you were yet to listen to that advice.

“You know, I still don’t trust you to drive,” You shake your head, resting your feet up on the dashboard of his car.

The summer heat was stifling in the Outer Banks this year, and even at this hour of the night, the windows of the car were rolled down to try and alleviate some of the burning in the air.

“Oh yeah? Don’t trust me?” Rafe raises his brows at you, gripping the wheel a little tighter as he swerves the car left and right down the street.

“Rafe!” You exclaim a hand reaching out to grip his arm.

He laughs a little, the kind that creases his eyes briefly. Rafe straightens up the car and glances away from you to focus back on the road, “You can trust me. Just get your shoes off my dash.”

—__—__—

When your phone rings a few days later, you don’t expect to see Cleo’s contact flash up on the screen. It’s late over there, and even later over here. You’d been fully asleep when the phone had first rang, fumbled around on your nightstand to find your phone and eventually managed to answer the call before it rang out.

“Hello?” You croak out, flicking on your bedside lamp as you prop yourself up in the bed, your mattress practically begging for you to return to sleep amongst the sheets.

“(Y/N)!” She exclaims excitedly on the other end of the call, “I’m so sorry, I know it’s late.”

“No, no,” You clear your throat, blinking the sleep from your eyes, “Is everything okay?”

“Well…” She pauses like she’s waiting for someone, “We’ve got news.”

“We?” You frown, dragging a hand through your messy hair.

“We’re engaged!”

Both her and Pope’s voices speak at the same time, only half a second delayed from each other as his voice trails to finish the phrase just after she had - but both of them sharing the same excitement in their tone that seemed to radiate through the screen.

“Oh my god I-“ You exclaim with as much energy as you can muster, “Congratulations!”

“Thank you!” They both say in return before Cleo continues on her own;

“We just couldn’t wait to tell you. Please tell me you’re coming home soon, we need you here to celebrate!”

Your eyes trail over the dark shapes of your room, barely visible in the low light, but they eventually settle on your laptop set out on the small desk occupying one wall of your bedroom. In a few clicks you could have the flight booked. Your Air BnB reservation ended in two days anyway, and you hadn’t exactly thought of what you’d do after that. The thought of going home had been one you’d been putting off for a long time but you had to bite the bullet eventually. Going back might make you stop running from it all, but maybe you didn’t need to be running anymore.

“Um, yeah, yeah, definitely, I’ll be home soon.”

—__—__—

“Rafe I swear to god you’re taking up way too much space,” You nudge at his side again and again as he laughs beside you.

“I’m not doing anything! You’re just dramatic,” He points out, “You’re going to miss the sunrise at this rate.”

“Move over!” You exclaim once again, trying to push his form towards the other side of the truck.

The two of you had set up your makeshift camp in the open back of his truck. There’s a single pillow propped up behind you, in the middle so that both of your heads could rest on it, and the blanket was sprawled over the top of both of you - though Rafe was probably taking more than half of it.

“There’s no space!” He shakes his head, stretching up one of his arms to tuck under his head, his hair flattened against the bend in his arm.

“You’re the worst,” You roll your eyes at him, eventually accepting defeat as you shift to lay back down in the space next to him.

You’re at a weird angle with the pillow shared between you and your neck is crooked to try and keep a good enough view of the sky in front of you. For now, the view was still littered with stars, but they’d disappear soon for the sun to instead break over the horizon. It was peaceful, nobody else on the island would be up this early. There was something about that for you and Rafe - a comfort you found in nobody else. He was your best friend, though you would never admit that to Sarah.

“Okay, question,” Rafe comments, “Do you think you’ll stay here after school ends?”

“Here?” You frown, both of your eyes staring at the point where the water met the sky.

“Yeah, here, in the Outer Banks.”

You take a deep breath. School finishing was still over a year away - that felt like a lifetime. Anything could happen between now and then. But the thing about living in OBX was that it generally felt like nothing ever happened. You couldn’t imagine being here forever, but you couldn’t exactly imagine being anywhere else.

“I don’t know, maybe,” You return, “Would you?”

He doesn’t respond for a little while but you watch his shoulders shrug when you turn your head towards him, “I guess, I’ll have to be here to take over from Ward anyway.”

Both of you fall to silence and somewhere in the calm, you move your head to rest on his shoulder. It’s comfortable, like it grounds the two of you in the moment - both forgetting completely about the discomfort of the entire setup you’d made in the truck. Rafe tilts his own head so that his cheek rests atop your head, seemingly melting his form against you like he relaxes completely.

“I couldn’t imagine being here without you,” Rafe mumbles into the dead air, “I don’t think I could be anywhere without you.”

As he speaks, the first glimpses of sunlight poke above the clear horizon and spill onto the water. They catch on the flat waves and dip over to reach you, brightening the air around you.

You take in a deep breath and lean closer against him, “You’d be lost without me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I think I would be.”

—__—__—

There aren’t any direct flights between London and Norfolk, of course, and it feels weird when you arrive at JFK - so close to Rafe and yet incapable of seeing him. He was in meetings all day today and apparently it was something really serious, though he told you it was way too boring for him to explain to you. With the flight times and shitty service, it had been a while since you’d spoken to him anyway, but it felt weirder than ever to be going back home now. You didn’t feel like the same person you were when you left, and it felt like your entire life had changed in the last couple of months. But you were going back home, more sure of yourself than ever.

The taxi drops you just outside of Sarah and John B’s house and you drag your suitcase along their driveway with a strange anticipation.

Before you can even knock, the door swings wide open.

“Oh my god you’re really here!” Sarah exclaims, her arms outstretched wide to hug you.

You grin and drop the handle of your suitcase, hurrying over to her. You hug her cautiously, her bump swollen in the space between you - much larger than when you’d seen her last.

“I’m so happy you’re home,” She lets out a sigh of relief against you, “I missed you way too much.”

You laugh and step back from her, looking down at the bump, “And everything is going well?”

“Yep, two months to go, nursery is pretty much done now,” She smiles, “And if John B makes any more furniture for the baby, we won’t have any space in the house.”

“Did you expect anything different?” You smile.

She leads you inside and tells you that your old room is still there for you, obviously. And it feels like a little piece of you has returned home, truly.

—__—__—

The sun has fully risen before either of you think to move but you start to hear the way Rafe’s breaths even out beside you. Somewhere between the night meeting the day, his arm had moved from his side to wrap over you, his hand resting across your torso. You hadn’t thought to move it - it just felt natural. He’s snoring just slightly, barely audible, but it seems to rumble in the air between you as his head snuggles against yours.

You tilt your head just slightly, enough that you can catch a glimpse of him. His soft features. The way his cupid’s bow dips prominently above his lips, shadowing over where the slightest hint of stubble grew across his upper lip. His hair needed cutting but he hadn’t thought to worry about it yet. His eyelashes look longer than ever as they fan down to cast shadows just over the faint dark circles under his eyes.

In that moment, you know. You’d stay here if he was here, you’d go if he left, you’d want him to follow you if you went. Because home wasn’t in so-called ‘paradise on earth’, or with your family or by yourself - it was with him.

In your movement, he stirs from his slumber and his lips part with a groan, stretching beside you as his arm disappears from your torso, leaving a hot mark in it’s absence. He stretches his legs out and his arms extend above his head until eventually his eyes follow suit and open too.

“What time is it?” He mumbles through his fatigue, blinking against the now blinding sun.

“Um, like nine I think,” You return, leaning up onto your elbows.

“We should head back,” Rafe grumbles, pushing himself up to sit, the blanket falling around his hips, “Good to go?”

“Um, yeah, yeah, sure,” You nod, shuffling yourself out of the back of the truck and following him around, going your separate ways to the driver and passenger seats.

The two of you drive home quietly as the rest of the town starts to wake up around you, businesses opening and cars passing by you on the busier roads. Rafe taps his hands on the wheel in time to the quiet music coming through the speakers, and every so often he hums along, silencing when he pulls into your driveway and puts the car into park.

“Okay, now I have a question,” You speak into the space between you, leaning your head back against the headrest of your chair.

“Go ahead,” He leans his head back too, rolling it so that his eyes are focused on your direction.

“Did you mean it earlier? That you couldn’t imagine being here without me?”

Rafe laughs lightly but you’re sure you catch the sight of his cheeks turning just a little bit pink, “Are you kidding? There’s nobody else that I like here.”

You smile a little and bite your lip so that it doesn’t extend too far onto your face, “I jus-“

“This place is unbearable, you know that. If you weren’t here I’d be bored out of my mind,” Rafe continues, “Then again, I can’t imagine you want your entire life to be here. You’ll go to college, probably find someone, settle down somewhere that’s not here.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding, “Yeah, yeah, maybe.”

“You know Sarah thinks there’s a guy at school that likes you, maybe you should go for it,” He persists, raising his eyebrows at you.

You can’t quite figure out the expression on his face, one that seems as though it’s hiding the slightest glimpse of pain. But Rafe was always good at hiding his emotions.

“A guy at school?” You shake every other thought out of your head, the slightest quiver in your voice that you try to avoid focusing on, “Did she say who?”

“Some guy called James,” Rafe traces his finger over the curve of his steering wheel absently, a sort of glass look to his eyes.

“Oh, right, I didn’t know,” You clear your throat, “Maybe you’re right - maybe I should go for it.”

—__—__—

“Is this okay? Or is it too fancy?” You brush your hands over the material of your dress, checking it over in the mirror once again.

You were getting ready to go to the engagement party that Pope and Cleo were hosting at his parents’ house. They’d told you to dress fancy but you never really knew what that meant with this group - JJ would likely still show up in shorts.

“You look gorgeous!” Sarah exclaims, fixing her hair in the other mirror - getting ready like this felt like being back to when the two of you were younger, gossiping over things that were likely to happen at the next party, dreading the thought of seeing people you hated.

You’d opted for a flowy silk dress, one that Sarah had in her closet but had never worn. It hugged your curves and flowed airily around your legs, thin spaghetti straps either side of your chest. Your hands brush over it once more before flattening over the slick back bun of your hair, tilting your chin to check your light covering of makeup.

“Okay, okay, I’m ready,” You nod, oddly nervous to see the people that had known you for a short forever.

It didn’t feel like you were the same person that they’d known before, just slightly changed in every aspect by the loss of what you thought was your future, perhaps changed even more so by the realisation of what you really wanted instead.

You grab your bag from the bed and follow Sarah downstairs to where John B was waiting with the car already running, engine humming impatiently in the air.

It’s a short drive across the island to where Pope’s family home was and John B parks the car amongst the few dotted vehicles of people that were already there - JJ’s bike is on the far side against the porch, accompanied by the similar one that he’d got for Kie, spending months working on doing it up.

You follow Sarah and John B across the way to the front door, already open to let in the air and the flow of people coming to congratulate the happy couple.

Instantly, you’re met with Pope and Cleo as soon as you enter, their faces lighting up at the sight of the three of you.

“Congratulations!” You all say in chorus, enveloping the couple into some sort of group hug in a mess of all of your arms.

You jumble through questions of ‘how did it happen’ ‘did you cry’ ‘what did your parents say’ before spending at least a minute in awe of the ring decorating Cleo’s hand - it had belonged to Pope’s grandmother.

“Well, we bought you these to say congratulations,” John B holds out the flowers in front of him, a bouquet wrapped in brown paper .

“That’s so sweet of you, thank you!” Cleo beams, “Would you mind putting them over on that table? I’ll go get you guys some drinks too, what do you fancy?”

“I’ll take them,” You offer to John B, taking the flowers from him along with the couple of cards you were already holding.

There are already bouquets of flowers lined up along the table, along with a few cards all expressing different forms of congratulations. You set the flowers into one of the available vases already filled with waiting water and make sure they look somewhat presentable against the other fancy bouquets. Just as you go to set down the two enveloped cards, your eyes brush over the ones already there. There’s one from Pope’s parents with a heartfelt message that almost brings a tear to your eye, another from JJ and Kie with a message along the lines of ‘fucking finally’. But there’s one out of all of them that catches your eye - handwriting you’d never forget.

To Pope and Cleo,

Congratulations to the two of you on your engagement. You were meant to find each other .

Rafe

There’s a lump in your throat before you’ve even scanned the words, reading them over again just to make sure the name was what your mind was telling you it was. No. He must’ve just sent it in the mail. Right? It could’ve got here in that time. Then again, this was the Outer Banks - nothing ever ran that fast. Maybe he sent it as soon as they told him. Maybe?

“(Y/N)?”

It’s John B that speaks up from behind you and you can’t help the flinch in your shoulders as he snaps you from your thoughts.

“Everything okay?” He says as you turn around, a frown settling between his brows, “Pope and Cleo said everyone else is outside - I thought I’d come and get you before we went out.”

“Right, yeah, of course,” You clear your throat, “Sorry, just looking through the cards.”

“I got you a beer, is that alright?” He outstretches his arm to you with a cold bottle of beer held in his grip.

“Perfect, thanks,” You offer a smile in return, taking the drink into your hand to slightly mask the shake of your fingers.

You follow behind him through the house until the two of you reach the final room and he stops in his tracks, so abruptly that you almost knock into the back of him.

“What are you do-“ You’re cut off as he steps aside, far enough for you to see what stood right in front of him.

There’s a lump in your throat almost instantly, a sort of numbness in your entire body, a determined focus on not dropping the bottle in your hand as the cool condensation seems to itch at your skin.

He’s there. He’s here. He’s home.

His hair is shaved now, cropped short against his head, and there’s a tan to his skin seemingly enhanced by the cool grey of his suit, the crisp white of his shirt. His eyes are on you and only you.

Somewhere in the moment, John B has made himself scarce, sure that each other are all you need in this moment.

“I took a wrong turn on the way to work,” Rafe says nonchalantly, his lips curling into a smile as he speaks.

You laugh gently and set your bottle down on the nearest surface, stepping across the short distance between you to wrap your arms around him quickly, finding their way around the back of his neck.

Rafe chuckles gently against your ear as his head dips into your shoulder, arms around your waist strong enough to lift you up from the floor.

His laugh in your ear breaks into a symphony around you, like an entire chorus has just begun as the simple sound of his joy. A symphony for him. For being home.

“Why didn’t you say?” You pull away from him enough to look at his face, scanning his features, your hands on either one of his shoulders.

Rafe shrugs gently, hands settling on your waist, “I didn’t decide until you were already on your flight. And then I just left, I just knew I had to be here.”

“I can’t believe yo-“

He hears your voice crack over the words and takes it as his instant task to stop your tears.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Rafe shakes his head, “I’m mainly here to see Pope.”

You laugh and the tears in your eyes seem to settle, sniffing them back just to be sure before you step reluctantly away from his arms.

“It’s really good to see you,” He confirms with a sincerity you couldn’t even try to deny.

It lights up a smile onto your face that you were sure wouldn’t ever be matched by anyone else, a brightness only he brought to you.

“Yeah, it’s really good,” You nod, hand slipping down from his chest.

He catches it before it falls completely to your side, lifting up your hand in his as he laces your fingers together, squeezing gently before pressing a kiss to the knuckle of your ring finger.

Rafe doesn’t need to say more, and neither do you. It’s enough in that moment, nothing else needed. Your hands drop back down to your sides, still laced with his as he picks your drink up from the counter and hands it to you, leading you out to the group outside.

It was an odd feeling really - not a single one of them commented on it. Nobody thought to make a corny comment about the two of you, or pick up on the way he stood so close to your side, the way he looked at you when you spoke, the way his eyes lit up when you laughed. Because, for the first time, all of this felt just a little bit natural - like the two of you starting to gravitate towards each other. And all of them were happy to let it finally happen.

For the rest of the party, you and Rafe mingle separately around the crowds. He speaks to Sarah about how the pregnancy is going and tells her he still can’t believe it is happening. You talk to Cleo and Kie about starting on wedding plans, and Kie says she can’t even start to imagine what JJ will say in his best man speech. They ask you about London and tell you that you looked the best you’d ever been - and you agree, it’s the best you’ve felt. JJ jokes that James would be kicking himself for the next decade for losing you. It’s another realisation that you’ve moved on when you don’t feel anything at the mention of his name.

Eventually, darkness starts to slip over the garden and the warmth of the sun slips away just a little.

“Hey,” You’re greeted by the feeling of a hand pressed against your back, soft and certain against the dip towards your lower spine.

You turn your head slightly and glance at Rafe, his form towering over behind you.

“Fancy getting out of here for a bit?” His face has that same boisterous energy that he had when the two of you were seventeen, the same brightness in his eyes.

“Okay,” You hum in response.

He slips his jacket off from around him and sets it over your shoulders, squeezing the skin before his hands leave you.

With that, you follow him out around the back of the mingling crowd of people, down towards the side of the house that would lead out down to the water.

“It’s crazy seeing them two engaged, isn’t it?” You comment, “And with Sarah and John B having a baby.”

Rafe nods, matching the stride of his steps to walk alongside you, “A lot is changing, we’re all growing up.”

You laugh and follow him down the dock, watching the way the moonlight seems to reflect from the water and into his eyes. He sits down on the edge of the wooden dock and stretches a hand back for you to sit down beside him, helping you lower yourself to the makeshift seat.

It’s peaceful, the sky and the sea quiet around you.

“So,” Rafe nudges his shoulder against yours, “Are you happy to be back?”

“It’s nice, it’s comfortable, you know?” You nod, your hands in your lap.

All of you wants to reach out to him but there’s a slightly irrational side of yourself that is scared to, fearful of overstepping a line that neither of you had drawn.

“Yeah there is something nice about coming here, knowing everywhere, knowing everyone,” Rafe continues, “I know when the sun sets and what stars you can see, which route gets you home faster away from the tourists.”

You laugh, “Yeah, I don’t think anywhere in New York would get you away from the tourists.”

“I liked New York,” He persists, “It was a good escape.”

“Was?”

“Well, I can’t just leave my job there or anything, but I don’t need to escape anymore,” He smiles gently at you, dimples prominent on either side of his cheeks.

Both of you fall to silence again and he reaches over to take your hand into his, still resting the interlocked hands over your lap.

He’s certain then, as he’d been certain with so many other things recently, that he knows it. He knows that this is all he’d been waiting on. A moment of peace, with you, your hand in his. Knowing you were here, that you were home.

“Do you remember when you first got your car?” You say quietly, letting the words catch on the breeze in front of you, “When we used to sneak out together.”

He chuckles deeply, “Of course I do, I’d come and pick you up in the middle of the night and we’d find the sunrise.”

You nod, “There was one day we went and you fell asleep on me and I remember laying there and thinking then that I knew. I knew that I wanted to be with you, that I wanted you by my side.”

“But I-“

“You drove me home and in the car you told me that I should give James a chance,” You swallow the lump in your throat, staring at an unmoving spot in the water, “I went out on my first date with him four days later. I knew I was in love with you and I still went with him.”

“Why didn’t you-“

“I was so terrified of losing you as a friend that I spent that entire first date convincing myself that I liked him and I didn’t need to love you. And I did the same on our next date too, and again and again and when he asked me to be his girlfriend I said yes without a second thought because part of me really believed that I could do it - that I didn’t need to love you anymore,” You let out a shaky breath, “I was kidding myself for nine years.”

Rafe looks down at your hands intertwined and smiles to himself, a little laugh passing his lips.

You turn your head to look at him, hints of a frown toying between your brows, “Are you laughing at me Rafe Cameron?”

He turns to look at you, “I told you to wait until I saw you for you to tell me that you loved me, and I think you just did.”

You can’t help the ferocious heat that claws at your cheeks and you bite at your lip to stop your smile from spreading too widely over your face, “I think I just did.”

Rafe grins, releasing your hand from his to cup your chin between his thumb and forefinger, drawing your focus solely to him. Slowly, but with nothing short of certainty, he pulls himself in towards you, eyes flicking down to your lips before he presses his against yours in the softest kiss the world can muster. It’s gentle and calm, and your hand moves up to grip his shoulder as if the contact needs to ground you into this exact moment. He deepens his kiss against you, fingers shifting from your chin to around your jaw, fingers stretching to the back of your neck as his thumb caresses your cheek, fingers gripping you into him.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” He half laughs as he pulls away, his forehead pressing into yours, lips curling into a smile as his breath fans hot over your skin.

You laugh and bring your hands to either side of his face to hold him in your grasp, as if reminding yourself he was really there.

“God, I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too.”

———

Taglist: @viianey @baby19sthings @tsokaro @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @starkeylover @kylianswag @eggingamazinglove @allsmilesreally7 @m-indkiller @maybankslover @shara-ne

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levenlike11 · 9 months

Text

professional player suna x famous reader (they/them pronouns used) drabble! hope you enjoy🫶🏻 sorry for the inactivity, my brain refuses to work these days🥹

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"do you think people will recognize me here?" suna shows you a picture the paparazzi took of you two together on your date last night. you have no idea how they even recognized you since the photo was taken at 1 a.m. in pitch black dark on a narrow street in the city, where you thought no one would come at that hour.

"no one's that obsessed with you to know you from your back and ass." you scoff, sliding down on the flood of articles titled "y/n and their new partner spotted at midnight"

"some people are but anyways-" you roll your eyes. "what does the articles say?" suna asks, pushing his body closer to yours so there's not a single inch left between your sides. you push him away from you which makes him pout and he takes your phone from your hand.

"you have your own phone to use rin, leave mine alone." you try to reach for your phone but fail miserably when he turns his body the other way. damn him and his too long arms.

"after an interview with *** magazine, y/n had denied any rumors about their dating life. it seems that was just a bluff, seeing how we can easily say that's them in the picture, embracing a mystery person in the middle of the night." suna reads aloud and turns off your phone.

"you got away again." you huff and take your phone back, logging into your profile. "i lost thousands of followers in one night, i'll probably lose a lot more." you put your phone on the nightstand and throw yourself on the bed, suna joining you soon after.

"i'm sorry baby, i didn't think anyone would see us, i know you didn't too. you're always extremely careful to not cause a scene. they must have been following us for a long time for that picture, i'm surprised they didn't see who i was. at least you'll only deal with your disappointed fans and not mine too." he tries to look at the bright side and pats your head hoping it will help you feel better.

"my staff will be so angry too, like i told them to take a photo of us. they always ignore how hard i try." you push your face into your pillow.

"i feel bad that you have to deal with this alone." he rubs your back and you turn back to him.

"i have an idea. but it might just make things worse."

"do you want to tell everyone?" he asks and you nod.

"only if you want to as well though. i don't want you to feel like i pushed you into the situation. also my team and yours might get much angrier."

"at least we won't have to hide anymore. you can even come to my games and cheer for me!" he smiles, trying to look on the bright side again. you really wish to be as careless as him sometimes.

"so you don't mind?" he shakes his head. "like not at all? completely sure?" "hundred percent." he answers and hugs your side. "i want everyone to know i scored such a great, gorgeous, hardworking, pretty, nice, amazing partner." he smiles.

"they'll probably think i'm the lucky one for finding myself such a handsome boyfriend." you chuckle seeing how he grins after that and pick your phone back up from where it was.

"do you want to post something or should i?" you ask, opening instagram. he takes your phone, opens your photos and chooses a selfie you took last night with you smiling bright and a kiss mark on his cheek. he posts the photo with the caption "my mystery person<3" and you both ignore all the calls and texts you get all day, enjoying the freedom by going out to get food together, hand in hand.

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note: sorry this kind of sucks, trying to force myself out of a writing block (not working very well as you can see :/ ) hope you enjoyed it nonetheless, as always feel free to leave feedback and point out any mistakes!

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ghostofthemost141 · 5 months

Text

Heard

Pairing: Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x F!Reader, First POV, no use of (Y/N)

Word Count: 2,388

Themes: Platonic Relationship, Fluff, Comfort, Some Angst

!Warnings!: Some Homophobia Violence (none of it comes from you or any of our main men and isn't graphic) and some !18+! Suggestive Talk

About: You and Soap have been best friends for many, many years and are completely inseparable. When he is home from a mission one night, he invites you to y'alls usual late night talks in the park, except this time it is different.

Notes: I'm a little iffy about this one but I hope y'all enjoyed it and I promise I will do more Ghost x Reader soon I just wanted to give Soap some love. I am gonna pick Bonnie again for this fic but for my next Soap x Reader I will pick another name to use and reader also has a accent in this. And this is an AU were Graves and Shepard aren't traitors (even though Shepard is the absolute worst). Enjoy!

“What a damn day..” I mumble to myself as I saunter into my apartment.

Today was a rough and busy day at the job, but at least I was off for the next two days so I can just relax with a good beer and watch some good TV and maybe even catch up on some reading. There’s so much you can do in two days of freedom. Speaking of beer, I think I will have one now. As I was walking into the kitchen to grab a beer, my phone started ringing. That’s weird, nobody really ever calls me this late at night. Probably my mum. I grabbed my phone to look to see.

Soap 🧼 is calling..

Oh Johnny! Damn it’s been a day or two since I heard from him, he must’ve just now gotten a break from the mission he was currently on. I answered it quickly.

“Johnny!” I greet him.

“Hey Bonnie.”

“You doing alrigh’, mate?” I ask.

“Meh could be better.”

“You back home yet?”

Silence was met between the two of us. I knew Johnny was still on the line for I could still hear his breathing on the other side. Usually he is a big converser, so he must be tired.

“Johnny?”

“Can you meet me now? Please.” Johnny begged.

This was unusual for Johnny. He sounded frantic, worried and even scared. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Everytime he would come home from missions, we would meet out at the park nearby to talk about his mission and anything that happened while he was gone. I assume he was back home if he was frantically asking to meet up with me.

“Yeah, of course. I just got home so it will be a minute. Are you okay?” I ask, hearing his tone that was out of character for him.

Johnny was silent for a moment except for his shaky breaths. What happened Johnny?

“MacTavish. Are you okay? Are you safe?” I asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m safe. I promise. I’ll be at our usual spot.” Johnny told me.

“Okay, be there in ten.” I said, going through my clothes to find something to throw on.

“A’ight.”

Johnny then hung up the phone and I couldn’t help but feel a very sour taste in my mouth from that. I don’t think I have ever heard Johnny sound so..scared. Man goes into battle with a high risk of dying and would always retell it to me as if it was nothing but a walk in the park. Something must’ve happened to make him really scared. I eventually found a long sleeved t-shirt, some lounging pants, and mismatched socks to put on and did just so. I thought maybe I should bring some tequila or bourbon but then again, Johnny always told me what to bring and this time he didn’t. Fuck it, I’ll bring it just in case. You never know. I grabbed some bourbon, slipped my shoes on, grabbed my keys, and rushed out the door, knowing Johnny is probably waiting for me.

“There ya are, MacTavish.” I announced my presence as I made my way to the park bench he was sitting on.

“‘Ey, Bonnie.” Johnny softly said.

Okay, something definitely has happened. Normally Johnny would come up to me and greet me with a bear hug or even a handshake when he first sees me, but now he was sitting still and speaking oh so softly to me. What’s going on?

“What’s going on, Soap? Talk to me. You sounded panicked over the phone.”

I sit next in front of him, offering my hand for comfort. Johnny immediately took it and held it, squeezing it even. Johnny and I have been best friends for many, many years now that you could consider us as non-blood siblings. We talk to each other about everything, do just about everything together, and are always there for each other. As we grew up, everyone thought we would end up together as a couple but we never did. We just stayed really, really close best friends and stuck with each other through the thick end. And yes we have had some arguments, as any normal pair of siblings would, but that was mostly when we were younger. Now we are both older adults, we just bicker at each other until the other gets annoyed enough to just ignore the other. Johnny kept squeezing my hand, and I could even feel him shaking. And it’s not from the cold weather that’s going on right now.

“Johnny..” I reminded him that I was here.

His bright blue eyes looked up at me. He looked terrified.

“Lass, talk to me.” I reassure him, leaning in close to him, “you know you don’t need to be scared with me.”

“I know..” He softly said.

He was finding the words to say to me, but I will sit out all night if that’s what it takes for him to talk to me.

“Something..happened, during my mission.” Johnny started.

“Go on.” I ushered him.

Johnny paused once more, still trying to gather up the right words to say.

“You want somethin’ to relax ya?” I offer the bottle of bourbon to him.

He stares at it for a few seconds before shaking his head.

“No, but thank you, Bonnie. I appreciate it. I appreciate you very much.”

I know he wasn’t necessarily thanking me for thinking about him by bringing him the bourbon, but for just being there for him in general.

“Remember last time we talked?” Johnny asked me.

I racked my brain to remember and luckily I did.

“Of course I do. You were talkin’ about how Price was cursing under his breath about how he lost a damn good cigar when the airplane crashed.” I recalled.

Johnny chuckled when I said that. Of course we talked about much more than that, but I figured I’d try and lift his spirits a little.

“I had to hold back me laughter when I heard that over the coms.” Johnny admitted.

“I don’t blame ya.”

I have met Price plenty of times and you can tell he cares about the boys a lot but also doesn't take shit from nobody. Would offer his shoulder to cry on but will get pissed at them if they touch his whiskey kinda guy. The mood quickly went back to the way it was before, so it was time to be serious.

“You mentioned to me how you were working through your feelings and emotions. As well as who you are attracted to.”

The second it left my mouth, Johnny’s eyes wallowed in tears. I squeezed his hand as he sniffled in response and leaned his head forward, his forehead resting on our locked hands.

“Johnny..” I call him, rubbing his head.

Suddenly Johnny broke out into incoherent sobs. Tears ran down my hand as he just sobbed and sobbed.

“Johnny, come here.” I called him as I got up quickly and got next to him so I could hug him.

Johnny immediately accepted my hug, sobbing into my shoulder.

“I’m so stupid, stupid..stupid.”

I heard Johnny mumble through his sobs. I held him tightly, rubbed his back, and cooed at him with as many comfort words as I could think of. What in the bloody hell happened?

“Johnny you’re not stupid.”

“Yes I am.”

“No you’re not Johnny. I am here for you always. No matter what it is.” I reassured him, hoping to soothe him a little bit.

Johnny managed to finally calm down a little bit and I let him pull away from me.

“I’m sorry..I just..”

“Don’t you apologize you wanker. You never ever have to apologize with me, Johnny and you bloody know that.” I gently got onto him.

He knows better than that.

“Just talk to me. Tell me what happened so I can help you out.” I told him while squeezing his shoulders.

Johnny wiped his face clean and managed to calm down, just enough to talk to me.

“We were out at dis bar where we were stationed at. And at that poin’, the only person I ever told about how I was feeling internally was Simon.” Johnny started.

“Does he accept you?”

“Fuck yes he does. He told me ‘I don’t bloody care if you’re gay or what, you’re still my teammate and friend, Johnny.’”

I felt relief wash over when he told me that. You’re a bloody good guy, Simon Riley.

“That’s good, Johnny.” I say.

“Yeah,” Johnny sighed before continuing, “it was aye, Simon, Gaz, Price, Laswell, Shepard, and Graves there. Um, there were these arseholes who were picking on a kid who was dressed very femininely. They assumed he was gay and started hurting him. Of course, I step in despite Shepard telling me to back off.”

I could feel anger boiling inside of me. Their own General telling Johnny to not help an innocent civilian? What a coward and ball-less of a man.

“What a focking jerk-off.” I cursed.

“So I stepped in, didn’t want to make too much of a scene. They leave the poor fellow alone but they target me. I ain’t afraid until they started accusing me..”

“Accusing you of what, Johnny?” I ask.

Johnny squeezed my hand tightly and I could feel his whole body start to shake again. I rubbed his hand, trying to soothe his nerves.

“Accusing me of being a..I don’t even wanna say it, but that word they use against gays. I just..shut down when they said it. Like I didn’t want to even accept it, ya know?”

You shook your head over what Johnny just told you. You hated that he went through that, especially since he was still internally trying to figure out his own feelings.

“And because I shut down, they were able to swing at me and I was knocked down on the ground. Simon had to step in and help me and I just felt so stoopid. I let something like that get to me.”

“Johnny, you don’t need to feel stoopid over something like that. It’s understandable since you’re still figuring out your feelings and you were caught off guard.” I reassure him.

“Yeah, well now everyone knows about me. I wanted it to stay with Simon, but now they know.”

“How do they know?” I ask.

“I..”

Johnny paused.

“They don’t really, but I can tell they know something is up. And I am scared.” Johnny confessed.

“Why? Literally the only person I am iffy about is Shepard, but everyone else, they should be supportive of you, Johnny.. And if they don’t, then you’ve got Simon. Fuck everyone else if they don’t support you, but at least you have Simon Riley.” I say, trying to lift his spirits of the only person he can count on.

“There’s something else..” Johnny softly said.

“Oh? What is it?” I ask.

Whatever Johnny was about to tell me, I could tell it was going to be harder than what he just told me.

“Please, just don’t judge me for it..”

“Johnny, you know I never would judge you for anything.” I reminded him.

“I know it’s just..Simon and I..” Johnny paused once more.

“Yeah?”

“Well, by the time we all left the bar, all of us were kinda tipsy except for Simon. Bloody lad is never drunk or acts like it no matter how much he drinks. So we went back to our base and later on, Simon came to check on me. And uh..”

Johnny’s face instantly turned red. Beet red. I didn’t even need him to tell me what happened cause I already knew.

“Oh Johnny!!” I cried out with excitement, poking him in his ribs making him giggle and flinch.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Johnny said.

“Sooo?”

“So wha’?”

“All I am gonna ask is, was it a good night?” I ask.

“Steamin’ bloody Jesus, yes it was.” Johnny answered, making me laugh.

“That’s good.” I say.

It fell into a comfortable silence between us, but there was a question burning in my mind.

“Johnny?”

“Hm?”

“Why were you so scared to tell me that, you know, you’re gay or bi? Whichever you feel like you fall more on.” I question.

Johnny sighed deeply.

“It ain't 'cause I didn’t think you’d accept me, I guess it’s cause I am having a hard time accepting it myself.”

“That’s who you are and clearly Simon accepts you at the very least and I am sure everyone else will too. But if they don’t then Simon and I can beat their asses.” I half joked.

“You’re right. I am just glad you are in my life, Bonnie. To know that if everyone else hates me for whateva reason, that you’ll still be supportive of me.” Johnny told me.

I don’t think I have ever heard Johnny ever be this sentiment ever in over twenty years of being friends.

“Of course, MacTavish. I’ll always be here for you.” I told him.

Johnny then pulled me into a tight hug and I hugged back, instantly feeling the guilt and fear rolling off his shoulders.

“Now, give me that damn bourbon. Let me tell you what Price did while we were gone this time ‘round.” Johnny announced, instantly back to his normal self.

I laughed as I passed the bourbon to him, knowing he won’t drink enough to make him not be able to drive back home. We talked for hours and hours, till the sun started peeking over the horizon. Despite the both of us being exhausted, it was worth it in the end to be able to talk with my best friend, my non-blooded brother and to let him know that he indeed had at least one permanent supporter in his life. If Johnny has no supporters, then Simon and I must be dead, cause that’s the only way he wouldn’t have any supporters in his life until we know for sure how the rest of the task force feels, but I know they are going to accept him. They have to, or else they’re gonna get a special paid visit from both Simon and I personally.

END

#cod #callofduty #simon ghost riley #call of duty #cod x reader #john soap mactavish #johhny soap mactavish #modern warfare x reader #cod modern warfare #johnny soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #ghoap #ghostofthemost141 #kate laswell #modern warfare #general shepherd #kyle gaz garrick #john price

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slowdownurdoingfine · 2 months

Text

Okay sooo I’ve got a Joel Miller fic on the back burner… but before I post I wanna get a feeler for how people would feel about it!!

So it switches through time periods (and bonus joel pov!), and the reader is a really famous country music star. By the time the outbreak hits shes kinda faded into obscurity (or that stage where famous musicians stay in pop culture but people don’t really listen to their music)… and essentially, and don’t cringe, reader and Joel happen to be going on the same journey to Jackson, Wyoming. And it’ll mostly be Jackson!Joel…. But I don’t wanna spoil anything so i won’t say anything more.

I will, though, give a snippet. (! PLEASE NOTE AND IDK WHY I DID THIS BUT I KINDA LIKE THIS: Belle is the stage name to the reader, and in the flashbacks I use 3rd pov (she blah blah) and in the present I use first pov (you blah blah) anyways. Be mean or judgemental but here’s u gooo

—

Fucking.

Taylor Swift.

Of fucking course.

She had a few years on her but still, fucking Taylor Swift? Picking her nails and brushing her blown-up hair out of her face, the swing of the guitar hits her ears almost too hard. It was overwhelming.

“Belle?” Her manager sitting next to her pushes through his lips quickly, forceful and strained.

She turns to him and his lips prick slightly, a slap in the wrist reminding her to maintain her facial expressions. Soft, but full of joy. Youthful and light. His words circled her thoughts spinning so fast it almost made her dizzy. Her hands fumble to pick the chain around her neck, gold and dainty, clearing her mind almost like a breath of fresh air.

The dust in her lungs makes her cough in only the way Nashville can in June. She has to turn her head away from the performance from the artist section, which allows much too of a close-up look.

“Billy, I need to step out.” It comes out before it even hits her head, drawl thick in her throat. She can see the question rising in his eyes, after years of working with him she just knows, but chooses to ignore it. Boots scuffing the ground she passes her way through the hot metal bars and serious stagehands to the freedom that comes with the smoking area. She lights her cigarette and pulls up her phone.

June 7th, 2013

She decided to never perform at another Country Music Festival at that very moment.

—

September 26th, 2013

The worst part of realizing you're no longer who you used to be, is when others begin to realize it too.

The pen rocks back and forth in her hand, trying to make sense of the line. She’s sitting in a limo outside a recording studio in Washington, DC where she created her first album. A country wonder, the sweetest voice with the most soul crushing lyrics. Her soft twang and breathy voice made the studio love her even more. It used to flow for her, it used to click. Now she can’t write a genuine line to save her career. Which evidently, is failing.

She slaps the notebook close, eyes turning up towards Billy who's on his phone pretending not to wait for her to give him something new.

“Nothing new, honestly Bill. My brain is just mushed up.” She hates it, but he shows no signs of mirroring that feeling. He just nods quickly, his sharp suit a little too tight around his wrists, clicking off his phone. He does notice though that, though. She does too.

“I didn’t have time to buy a new one.” He chirps out unbuttoning his pressed black blazer shifting uncomfortably in his seat, choosing to not push her for a moment. It makes her laugh, partially out of relief for the way her manager is still her closest friend.

“You’ve just been drinkin’ too much beer.” She starts, ringing her hands down her designer dress from two seasons ago.

“I’ve been eatin’ too much crab. It’s Baltimore, with the old bay.” He says then looks at her. It takes her back to when they both could afford to support their lives. They both just laugh.

She hated this, and when she was younger and more fresh eyed she would blaze a damn trail if this was presented to her. An impromptu performance at the White House with the president to uplift whatever political statement needed pushing - something to catch headlines, erase any world news. When she started off, and even to a degree still now, nothing else mattered but her music. That’s what got her here in the first place, outspoken to a point where she was even blacklisted from the most prestigious award shows after the release of her second album. But now in her early 30’s it's seemed as though the world had moved on. People didn’t seem to care about what she had to say, they just wanted to hear blank statements that meant nothing to be able to avoid the world around them. Or maybe, she was bitter. They had something she didn’t, something she over the past 10 years had given up for her career. Motivation, joy, or simply put; a life. She had made a bad decision, ran out of money, and signed her likelihood away to some big-name big-shot office. Nothing was hers anymore, not truly. So here she was: on the way to something her 25 year old self would not only despise, but reverently hate.

The limo ride there was alright, bit too bumpy and made it hard for her to gulp down the fizzy lukewarm bottle of champagne in the back of the limo. With the aid of bubbles allowing her to actually move her body and try to block this memory out she’s out of the car, shaking hands and greeting politicians in a breeze. So fast that by the time she stepped on stage to perform the national anthem she didn’t even remember how exactly she had got up there. The first few notes swell in her ears, she takes a deep breath ready to do what she does best, put on a show, cringing when the first few notes hit the air. Men standing close by her, sharp suits with walkie-talkies blasting loud enough to take over the whole room suddenly swarmed surrounding the president. Talking with urgency. Her eyes turned to meet Billy’s blue ones in the crowd, a question of should I stop? in them… before it all happened. It all unfolded right in front of her eyes too quickly to comprehend.

Damn her delayed flight or fight skills, she musta softened along the way on one of her worldwide tours. Soon she was being ripped away from the microphone, the band, the stage, Billy, and in a flurry of secret service she was crowded to an elevator which went down….

Down…

All the way to the bottom.

—

October 12th, 2023

Fuck.

I’m hungry.

You hated Iowa. You also hated how your map crumbles in your hands. You used to have a book with pages on pages of maps hidden cleverly within your brown backpack. That was before, when there was hope for everyone. This is the present. Hope is a laughable feeling. As the leaves crunch under your heavy boot a dilapidated highway sign peaks your interest. Maps Of The World. Maybe there is hope, afterall. Funny. Ducking back into the trees along the side of the road you make a note to turn at the next exit.

The store is dusty and rummaged through, obviously. That fact doesn’t stop the cough that enters your lungs as soon as you shove the door open. Fanning the particle filled air in front of your face, quick eyes land on a shelf of US maps which remain mostly untouched. Score. Walking over on the balls of your feet, your eyes crinkle when you step on a newspaper covered slab on the floor. Stopping for a moment, then ducking down to your knees and pushing your rifle out of the way, you look at the spot. It sounds almost hollow, like a travelingers hiding spot. You consider for a moment, then look towards the door like a person is about to walk through. You wait a long moment out of pure precaution. Then fan the newspaper away and grab your knife out of your boot, sliding the blade between the board and twisting up. To your surprise it gives and reveals a compartment. You just can’t believe your luck. Almost greedily you push the tile away and stare in awe. A pack of bullets. A handgun. Some beef jerky. It almost makes you cry. Zipping your bag you swipe the bullets and the jerky. Debating for a moment if to take the gun you hear light voices outside. Few minutes away, tops.

Quickly and as quietly as you can you slide the board and the newspaper back, zipping up your bag and hauling ass to your feet to grab a map and leave. Guess the owner was coming back to re-up, no way someone random would wind up there. Well, other than you. The two voices get louder as you hear the feet stop and a gun load. The door being open is a bad omen, you suppose. You slip out the back window which luckily leads into a dense forest, and you dash into the lush green trees finding refuge behind a patch of large grown out boulders and greens.

The logical part of your brain is screaming for you to run but the human part is telling you to stay and manically watch the havoc you caused unfold. Plus, it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.

“Godamnit!” You hear a man shout, voice laced with a thick accent. Texan, you’d recognize your home state anywhere.

“At least they left the gun.” A younger voice calls out. From the large windows you can see them. A young girl, no older than 14 with a maroon jacket and beat up converse, Her brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail, backpack with keychains swinging. Behind her an older man comes up, beard patchy with salt-and-pepper hair, guff and hardened. You can’t look away from him, eyes glued onto his flannel and matching rifle with yours. He turns and you swear he sees you but then his eyes keep moving. Checking the area seemingly unconsciously and you can tell he's danger. Something you would write about in your songs. You let that thought wash over you as he turns and are met with his broad back. You should probably leave. Knees cracking you stand and continue the long journey to Jackson, Wyoming.

In another life, mystery muse.

—

K BYE

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #tlou hbo #tlou #pedro pascal #joel tlou #joel x reader #tlou fanfic #Joel miller fanfic #pedro pascal x reader

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zushiribbon · 1 year

Text

these burns i yield - hawks x reader

Summary: In your eyes, you know Keigo has already gone through so much. Even as a child, a fledgling barely out of the nest, was already so scarred and traumatized. Some may believe he can quickly brush those problems off his back, but perhaps this time he has finally let go.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

There he sat, atop a tall building, watching the clouds float above.

Knowing that he had cut all connections with his broken family, he still felt like he "yearned" for something.

He knew he was almost one step closer to freedom, but he couldn’t help but stay bothered over what had happened.

"I’m proud of you, Keigo."

He watched the skies quietly, pondering about the note his mother had left behind.

While being lost in thought, you followed him atop the building, calling, "Keigo." You called, causing him to turn around slightly and look up at you as he cleared his throat, put on his respiratory mask, and brought out his phone. "Hi, Y/n." He typed down a greeting for you.

He still sat on the ledge of the building, making sure he wouldn’t fall as he now knew how fragile he was, and asked, "You concerned about your good ol' bird man?" He smiled through the mask, but upon closer inspection, you could clearly tell he was nervous about something.

His amber eyes were warm and loving as they stared at yours, but you couldn’t help but notice the genuine worry in his eyes.

You sat beside him, tilting your head as you looked at him in a caring way and asked, "Are you okay?" This question made him stop momentarily, thinking to himself.

"Of course I am, just catchin’ some fresh air to cool off my mind." He responds ever so casually, hearing him sigh quietly and continuing to gaze upon the sky above, wondering if he’ll ever reach them again.

You nudged closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder, and asked, "No, really, are you okay?" You repeated yourself again, eagerly listening to his response.

Keigo knew he wasn’t, in a way. After all, being the youngest hero on the chart may be an achievement, but to him, it was a hard, long process getting to where he is now.

You awaited his response as he stared quietly, trying to think of a way to brush you off without seeing how vulnerable he already was. "I’m fine, babybird; don’t you worry." He said, turning to you and looking straight into your eyes,

You sighed; you read him so well, and you could clearly tell by the simple actions he took that he was already stressed and tired. Hell, this man is already so burned and bruised.

He just doesn’t want to worry you.

Despite the horrible, traumatic events in his past that have left him scarred, he refuses to make you worry about him.

"Come on, Keigo, I know you’re stressed; just look at you; you're already so bruised and hurt like this." You pointed it out, looking at all his bandages.

He took off his mask and sighed, hearing how tired he already was from the huff of air that came out of his mouth. "You’ve always been good at figuring me out, haven’t you?" Keigo spoke weakly, taking another breath as his voice was all raspy and tired.

"What more can I expect from my most loyal fan?" He smiled, looking at you warmly yet so nervously. Keigo's heart skipped a beat when he saw you; how you were always showing him the affection he lacked and adoring the smallest details in you.

Knowing how he was treated, he was never given a drop of love or care, so it was like it was your job to provide him with the love and care he needs.

"A lot. You’ll have to expect a whole lot more in the future." You replied to his comment, gazing up at the sky with him. "You wanna talk about it?" You asked, making sure you wouldn’t make him uncomfortable with this request.

He nods. "...Yeah." He was hesitant, though. It’s not like he has someone ask him about his past and then talk about it. But you did want to help him clear his mind.

Keigo’s eyes softened as he looked at his palms. "If I’m honest, I dunno how to feel now that I’ve got my broken parents off my back." He spoke weakly, gulping as he tried to maintain his calm composure.

"I’m a free man now, but..." He tried to make up the words in his mind, watching him talk like a nervous child for a recital. You listened patiently, waiting for every word that came out of his mouth while comfortingly rubbing his back.

"It’s all still frustrating, you know. Consider both of your parents to be insane, yet both of them abandon you.His voice trembled, and he took a deep, shaky breath to maintain his cool. "I mean, yeah, I’m happy I’m all free and all; I’ve accomplished not ending up on the same path as they did, but now that I think about it, I’ll be alone." Keigo’s voice was already shaking at this point. His heart ached as he talked more about his personal life.

You got closer to him, almost as if hugging him, as he felt his heart race quickly, clenching his fists as he trembled nervously. "I was always despised by both of them for my wings, but now, look at ‘em. They’re burnt, fried, and I’m all over you, showing you how weak I am." He laughs, cursing at himself for being vulnerable like this.

He knows it’s okay to be weak since he does trust you, but he’s still nervous.

You had always seen him as your idol, which is why you were so devoted to him, but at the same time it hurt him because here he was, the winged hero "Hawks," dumping all his problems out like water in a glass.

"Keigo..." Your heart ached too as you saw him like this; seeing him so sad just hurt you as well. "You know I’ll always be with you, right?" You ran your fingers through his ash blonde hair as he hugged you against him.

"I know you will, but I just can’t help but think—what if you leave me too?" He felt his heart sting as he said that, unable to stand the thought of you leaving him the same way his parents did. The thought struck you as well.

"You know I won't, Keigo," you said, shaking your head. Your voice was calm and soothing to his ears as you reassured him, like a lullaby to a baby’s ears. But even still, he couldn’t help but feel so hurt.

He sniffed as he hid his face in your chest even more, holding you tightly against him. "I ain’t looking forward to losing another innocent person." Keigo spoke sternly, feeling his eyes water as he got flashbacks to a certain person he had slain.

"You’re like my family, y/n. You’re always looking out for me, even if it isn’t necessary." He sniffed again, as tears began escaping his eyes, soaking your shirt. You watched him cry in your clothes, petting his head softly, "There, there..." You whispered comfortingly.

You buried your head in his unruly hair, inhaling the scent of flames and his own scent, and saying, "I know I sound desperate, but seriously, if you leave me, I might as well stop and retire from hero work or something..." He said it again, his voice cracking slightly, which hurt his throat, and he was crying even harder at the prospect of losing you.

At the moment, Keigo looked like a scared child in your eyes, as if you could almost see his young self cry and hold you closer to him. After all, as a child, he was never even given a drop of love or care.

You pulled him closer to you tightly, letting him sob in your arms. "Shhh, it’s okay, I won’t be leaving you. Not now, not ever." You whispered in his ear as he sobbed.

"Don’t you dare think about disappearing on me now, babybird," he sniffles, looking up at you with watery eyes, "okay?" He awaits your response, looking up at you eagerly.

You smiled warmly and leaned forward, kissing his forehead softly.

"I promise, Keigo."

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

a/n- HEYA HEY!!! sorry for not updating in awhile, but i’m back so HEYAAAA i just watched the new ep of mha nad my heart just SHATTERED after watching it. LIKE???? yes vigilante deku is here BUT.... KEIGOS PAST????? throw me in a river of my own tears atp.

my poor baby </3

i hate his parents so much, but with all honesty i just wanna know where his mom went; like after being interrogated by dabis men she jus???? mf dipped istg

ANYWAYS i hope u guys liked this small kei x reader llololo

this could be romantic or platonic!! idc, it could be you being an older sibling to keigo and ure always looking out for him, BUT HTHATS UP TO UU!!!! idc how u take this HAHHW

I JUST MADE THID FIC OVER ME AND MY FRIEND’S CONVO YESTERDAY

i hc that he would,, like,, someday just lose it yk?? poor dude’s probably so pressured over everything going on rn, like- the war, the commission, his broken family, and his job LIKW???? ouch give him a rest oh my god

so basically ur like his mini therapist in this(as u should cause holy fuck poor gy)

daily reminder to always hate on keigo’s dad mwamwa

NOW LET US WAIT FOR UNDERCUT HAWKS BEING ANIMATED CAUSE AUasdkjak?!”#”>$!”>

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kitthepurplepotato · 3 months

Text

Shenanigans EXTRA (2/2) - Drum Contest! (THE END)

Summary: Katsuki has been struggling to propose to Y/N for months now. He comes up with a silly idea.

Shouto meets his long lost brother.

Warnings: Swear words. A lot of mentions of the naughty, but only in passing. Mentions of ding dongs. No actual smut though. 16+

Helpful note:

To make it easier I tried to play around with names to make it obvious who's who, so...

Izuku - Normal Izuku

Deku, Midoriya - Other world's Izuku

Katsuki - Normal Katsuki

Bakugou - Other world's Katsuki

I hope that helps!

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After a few minutes of silence the team finally calms down enough to actually start a proper conversation. Deku and Todoroki is sprawled out on the bed with Izuku and Shouto sitting on the edges, talking about hero life and Izuku’s battle scars.

You and your other self, together with the two Katsukis are sitting on the floor in one of the corners with your backs resting on the wall.

“So was it hard to find me in this universe?” You ask Bakugou, who looks away sheepishly with a slight blush on his face.

“Well… I had to work my ass off for months to have enough money and freedom to leave for a few weeks but funnily enough, I literally bumped into her in my first day. Then… it just happened. I barely had to do anything. It really felt like it was meant to be. Fucking freaky.”

“Yeah.” Your other self speaks up. “My friends thought I’m bonkers for meeting this random guy from another country every day to study together. But I just…couldn’t get enough of him.” She cuddles into Bakugou and you can’t hide the smile on your face as you look at the two lovesick idiots. They are so different from you two yet so similar at the same time; the love is just as deep but in a different kind of display. Their love is pure and romantic, a relationship full of hope and dreams while yours is more mature, more realistic yet just as bright, just as strong, if not stronger.

“Being in a long distance relationship really sucked.” Bakugou admits.

“Tell me about it!” Deku yells from the bed. “I was so done with waking up to you two having phone sex almost every single day!”

“Oh, shut up, we didn’t…” Bakugou is about to retort, but your other self laughs.

“No, we… did that quite a lot.”

“I knew it!” Apparently, Deku is more than happy to finally get a closure after wondering about all the weird noises coming from his best friend’s room.

“I’ve never done that.” Katsuki mutters next to you, looking offended like it’s your fucking fault.

“We literally moved in together almost right away. We work at the same agency. Damn, you live in the same building as your workplace, we literally could just run home and…”

“You did not do that. Did you?!” Izuku yelp from the bed, face beet red.

“Oh we did.” Katsuki gives him a shit eating smirk, clearly enjoying Izuku’s embarrassment.

“Going home is better than doing it in the locker room. I think.” Shouto mutters and that’s when Izuku decides he needs to get some water from the bathroom. He’ll be really disappointed when he realizes he can’t flush himself down the toilet.

“Fuck, I have band practice. I need to go soon.” Bakugou suddenly jumps up and takes his bag with him; there are two drumsticks sticking out of the side, quite battered by the look of it.

“If you tell me you play the drums I’m changing sides. The other me can take over Katsuki for me. He won’t know the difference.”

Damn, Bakugou Katsuki is a hot ass man anyway but drummer Bakugou Katsuki? Hot damn. Even the thought of it makes you feel all warm in all the inappropriate places.

“First of all, fuck you.” Katsuki retorts, flabbergasted. “Second of all, I would know the fucking difference. You look and act completely different, just how me and the blondie are different in a lot of ways. Third of all, if you think this bozo can outplay me with those chicken legs, you are really fucking stupid. I might not have a drum set at home but I do know how to play. I played drums since I was 11.”

“You play the drums?!” You can’t help but yell loudly. How did you not know that?! How?!

“He played the drums on the school festival in our first year. It was quite good.” Shouto adds.

“I can do much better than that pop shit we’ve played back then.”

“Is that a challenge, muscle brain?” Bakugou smirks, his eyes full of challenge and needless to say, Katsuki is in for the ride. “My practice finishes at 7 so see you there at 7:15. The bozos know the way.”

“If I win…” Katsuki looks at you with the same smirk. Mind blowing. “I’ll marry your fucking ass and you’ll never be able to leave me.”

Your heart leaps out of your chest. Is this really happening? Now? Like this? Well… okay. Okay, calm down, he might loose. Lol who are you kidding, THIS Katsuki? Loosing? No fucking way.

“Wipe the floor with his ass then, love.”

The way you two are eye fucking right now is downright disgusting but you can’t be bothered.

“Oh, I will, baby.”

~•💥•~

“Uhm, do you guys wanna go to Natsuo’s bar until 7?” Todoroki speaks up after Bakugou and Y/N leaves for band practice. You are a little bit offended that she’d left, but to be fair, she’s probably still extremely mindfucked by all this so it’s quite understandable she needs some space right now. She’s just a quirkless gal, she’s not used to this nonsense.

“He owns a bar?” Shouto looks up, clearly intrigued.

“Yeah, it’s half a bar and half a tattoo and piercing parlor. Quite edgy. The studio Kacchan is in is right next to it. They have open mic nights sometimes, his band plays there quite a lot.”

“Wow, your other self is quite cool, I must say.” You mumble, a little bit too infatuated with his other self for Katsuki’s liking so you get an elbow in your tummy. “Rude.”

~•💥•~

Natsuo’s bar is… sick as fuck. There is no other way to describe it. It’s massive but somehow still really homey, with dark wood covering the walls, the floor and ceiling. There are massive LED lights all over the place, red under the main counter, blue on the walls, white on the shelves full of random memorabilia, mostly old instruments and other music-related stuff like old vinyls and instrument parts, probably vintage and pricy as fuck. There is a massive doorframe on the side with hand painted curtains, blue flames and red feathers swirling together on the material. Some of the feathers are burnt by the fire, the edges black, the paint flaky, probably on purpose while some other ones are engulfed by the blue flames, just about to be burnt to a crisp and it’s the sickest design you’ve ever seen.

For some reason, you are the only one hyperventilating over the beautiful piece of art; Shouto looks like he’s about to throw up while Katsuki and Izuku just stares at the curtain like it personally offended them. You can barely see anything from their faces as “your team” is wearing a disguise to not freak out the customers but you really don’t need to be a genius to know something is wrong.

“Oh shit.” Katsuki mutters, slowly pulling Shouto towards the exit.

“Shou, let’s just chill in Todoroki-kun’s room, okay?”

Okay, what the fuck is happening.

“Can I go in?” Shouto asks Natsuo, who only nods, his eyes full of confusion.

“We told him about you, so he won’t freak out. We told our families about Y/N coming here before so… yeah, go on. He’s a bit rude but he’s harmless.”

“He’s harmless.” Katsuki mutters with a deadpanned expression on his face. “That’s… good to know.”

“Mind to explain why is everyone having a meltdown?” You whisper into Katsuki’s ear while Shouto and Izuku stomps towards the curtains.

“Dabi.” Is all he says and that’s when it hits you; Shouto is about to meet his long lost brother, Touya.

Well, shit got deep quite fucking quickly.

When Shouto pulls the curtain out of the way there are two people inside; an ash blonde, extremely handsome guy with a golden nose ring and… well… a guy who looks like a fucking fallen angel in a romantic fantasy movie.

His hair is white as the freshly fallen snow, eyelashes long and dark, his face looks almost feminine but his cheekbone is sharp and masculine, giving him an otherworldly look. You can’t lie, he’s probably the most beautiful human being you’ve ever seen in your whole life. Not even the massive amount of piercings can ruin his mesmerizing look. He looks up from the random drawing he’s been working at and smirks at the deadpan hero in front of him. His beautiful face completely clashes with his mischievous attitude but that makes him even more interesting. He stands up from his desk gracefully and makes his way towards the Shouto, who just stands in one place with tears in his eyes, his face full of so many emotions now, you can’t even decipher any of them at all.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, little brother. Nice muscles, by the way.” Shouto breaks. “Hey, little one, what… what the fuck is wrong with you, oomph!” Dabi’s unable to breathe as Shouto runs into his arms, crying like he’s a little kid again. “Wooow, that’s… a hug. Okay, I’m not really a touchy person to be honest, I’m freaking out. Oi, you have a big ass scar on your face. Who did that? I’ll find ’em and kill ’em.” Shouto starts crying even more. “… uhm, with kindness, of course. Kill em’… with kindness. Yeah. Surely. Let me go, little brother. I can’t breathe.”

It’s quite cute how Touya can’t handle the situation and tries to talk up a storm to calm himself down.

“Touya, I think you are dead in their universe or something.” The ash blond guy smirks at him. “What a plotwist.”

“Hawks?!” Katsuki suddenly yells, giving the poor blond a fright.

“No, I’m Keigo.” He deadpans, utterly confused.

“Am I fucking dead?! Yo, little bro, am I? Did I go out with a blast, though?” Shouto only cries even more. “Oh no, please tell me I wasn’t born in a super powered world and got hit by a bus when I was twelve. That sucks balls.”

“Nah, you probably pulled some shit like killing half of your family out of pure spite after your mother gave you Pepsi instead of Coke.” Keigo mutters and the whole gang gawks at the guy. “Oh my god, did he?”

“Nii-chan…” Shouto sobs, still not coherent enough to make a proper sentence. He looks up at his brother and gives him a wobbly smile, stroking his cheek once then twice before he finally speaks up. “So this is how you would look like. Fuck, I think I’m having a mental breakdown.”

“Am I dead, little brother?!”

“Yes and no?” Izuku tries to help out but he looks just as choked up as his boyfriend. “Touya is gone but Dabi is alive. He’s in prison. For really bad things, but… it wasn’t your fault completely. Uhm. It’s a long story.”

“So Touya is dead but his penis is in prison?” Keigo forgoes his attempts to draw. This conversation is way too interesting for him now, that Touya’s penis is apparently involved.

“What?!” Izuku looks between the two males with nothing but confusion.

“I call his penis little Dabi.”

“You… why…” It’s Katsuki’s time to be completely bamboozled.

“Well, I pierced it so many times by now I decided to name it.”

Your gang falls silent. It’s this world’s Todoroki’s turn to freak out now.

“You pierced your… penis?!”

Touya turns into a really pretty shade of red.

“Well, we had to practice and none of you fuckers wanted a piercing so we practiced on each other! I did his nipples, he did my… Dabi.”

This conversation is wrong on so many levels and you are not even the person traumatized by that name.

“Can I… can I get a piercing from you, Touya?” Shouto gives his brother another wobbly smile and Izuku is about to pass out from the excitement.

“That’s so sweet, I’m gonna cry. Oh my god, I’m crying.”

Spoiler: He’s crying. I know. Shocker.

“Wanna get a ring like mine, baby brother? So we match?” Touya ruffles Shouto’s hair with a fond smile on his face. He looks exhilarated.

Nevermind. You are crying too. Even Katsuki has a tear stuck to his eyelashes but he tries his best to act nonchalant anyway.

“That would be nice, yeah.” Shouto laughs wetly as Touya points at the chair in the middle of the room. Shouto’s super edgy nose piercing is done before he can even breathe out an “I’m ready.” He’s quick and efficient, movements well practiced as he swabs at the fresh ring, cleaning it carefully with a proud smile on his face.

“Next time, I’ll give you a sick tattoo.” Touya daydreams, eyes looking into the distance, the fond smile still lingering on his face from a few seconds before. “I’m sorry if I ever hurt you in your universe. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I might be a lost cause in that world, but tell my family that this Touya… would do anything to keep you guys safe.”

“Ok, I’m out.” This world’s Todoroki decides to leave the room, his face so neutral you really wonder if you should tell him to play poker.

“Come back, you little shit! Why can’t you be like this one, eyy! Cute and shit!”

“You would tease the shit out of me!”

“Well, duh!”

… and the mood is ruined. The whole gang laughs, loud and airy, Shouto’s face scrunches as the freshly made piercing starts to sting from the sudden motion.

Needless to say, the piercing suits him and you are extremely proud to be one of those people who know the real story behind it; a story so heartbreaking yet so full of love and affection; a story of a little brother finally finding solace by knowing that there is another Touya somewhere in the universe, content and happy, surrounded by his family who never ever gave up on him.

Shouto probably wishes his real brother could be here, too.

“Shit.” You cuddle into your boyfriend’s arms, way too emotional for your own good.

“Welcome in our world.” Katsuki mutters back.

~•💥•~

Katsuki has a confession to make. He’s been trying to come up with proposal ideas for a few months now, but none of them felt… right.

Going to a restaurant and propose is too basic. Going on a holiday and propose… well… same thing. Basic as fuck. Katsuki hates it.

Calling their whole friend group and family over is not possible, because Y/N’s family lives abroad and they haven’t even met him in person yet. Doing in front of one family and not the other would be mean, even Katsuki knows that.

The only thing he could think of that sounds almost okay is to go hiking and ask Y/N to marry him on a top of a mountain or a fucking lava but even that feels too normal for their abnormal relationship.

Okay, calling their relationship abnormal sounds extremely rude but honestly, they are not a normal couple. They’ve never been. Hell, they beat the shit out of each other in the training room almost every week. They yell at each other when then they cuddle by the TV like old people. They kick some ass on the battlefield then have aggressive sex after, praising the other about how hot they looked like when they kicked out the villain’s teeth. Sometimes they make work a challenge; whoever gets the last punch needs to uhm… make the other happy later. Don’t ask questions. Honestly, just don’t.

With that said, proposing to Y/N by winning a challenge is quite on-brand for them. They will need to redo the whole proposal in front of Kirishima otherwise he’s going to cry from being left out but Katsuki is more than happy to go down on his knees twice.

He must win today. He’s so done with carrying this fucking ring with himself just in case the time is right!

The ring he got for Y/N is actually made by his parents brand. His mom almost had a heart attack when Katsuki came over to their workshop with a bunch of silly ring designs. When Katsuki said he wants an orange diamond in the middle his father fell off his chair looking at Katsuki like he’s an idiot. Well, Katsuki knew what he wanted and he was quite aware that one small diamond cost 5 million yen (around £23000). That’s the one detail Katsuki was not willing to give up on even if his wallet will be empty for at least a few months afterwards.

So yeah, he was running around with that in his pocket for several weeks now. Hopefully, his suffering ends tonight.

“Get ready to get your ass kicked, Hero.” Bakugou smirks at Katsuki as he makes his way towards his loud ass band.

Oh no. Katsuki knows these people… well, most of them. He has no idea who the long, black haired goth guy is. Or girl. He’s not sure. Maybe something in between. Nah, Katsuki is sure he’s a guy. He looks familiar in a really weird way but he’s also quite sure he’s never met this bozo before.

“Oh my god, I thought you were joking when you said you’re bringing yourself twice.” Kaminari smirks, and he and his other self sighs.

“Annoying as always.” They mumble at the same time, the action followed by a smirk and a first bump. Kyouka laughs.

“I’ve always been wondering if other timelines exist and if they resemble each other in any way. I really want to say I got an answer but seeing how different your two selves look like I have more questions than answers. I guess I will need to live in the darkness for another day.”

NO FUCKING WAY.

No motherfucking way.

“Tokoyami?!” Izuku finally asks the million dollar question, notebook and pen already in his hands as he sneaks closer to the goth, lanky guy holding a guitar.

“I can’t take this anymore. First my long lost brother and now this?” Shouto sits down on the nearest chair, gobsmacked. “How is this even possible?”

“It makes a lot of sense actually.” Izuku goes back a few pages and reads a few notes before he speaks up again. “This world doesn’t have quirks or superpowers. Tokoyami’s appearance is connected to his power hence why he’s… different here. The real question is… how come you still have your half and half appearance? I’m quite sure your condition is extremely rare. Oh, I wish to be able to look into your genetics right now.” Izuku sighs and it sounds weirdly sexual so Katsuki decides to clear his throat before it’s too late.

“Wait a second, what’s wrong with me in your world?” Tokoyami puts his guitar down and comes closer to your little gang.

“Nothing is wrong, just…” Izuku blushes like an idiot, clearly regretting his words already.

“You are a fucking bird, Tokoyami.” Katsuki tries to help out and the joint yelp from the whole band makes him giggle like an idiot. Y/N gives him a side eye for being a cunt but he can’t be bothered. This is way too funny.

“Excuse me?” Tokoyami’s eyes are about to pop out of his skull and with that expression, he does look like his bird-self, to be honest.

“You have a head of a raven. In our world. And a human body. As weird as it sounds, it’s quite common.” Shouto adds helpfully and Katsuki is sure these bozos have never payed this much attention in their whole fucking lives.

“Pardon for the question but how do I have a love life with that face?”

“The same way you do in this world. You don’t.” Bakugou smirks and Katsuki is contemplating between giving the guy another fist bump or slapping his head for being a menace.

Tokoyami looks like he’s about to cry so Katsuki decides to go with the latter.

“So Bakubro said we are heroes in this world, so… I’m not single, right? Heroes must get a lot of chicks. That’s just how it is. In the movies.” Kaminari speaks up with hopeful eyes. Izuku looks extremely proud as he answers that question.

“While it’s true that heroes are surrounded by beautiful women and men, you’ve never really had your eyes on anyone else but your wife.”

“I have a wife?!” Kaminari cries crocodile tears as he embraces Izuku in a tight hug. “Oh my, you are so muscly. Wow. Like… no homo but I would happily go gay for you.”

Izuku blushes like a 30 year old virgin.

“Ahh, yeah, we almost had our first kiss on your and Kyouka’s wedding!” Y/N speaks up and by the look on Kyouka’s face… things are different in this world. Damn. Bummer.

“Me and Kyo? Married?!”

“Oh my god, Pikachu.” Bakugou rolls his eyes, not even surprised by this revelation. “Don’t act like you haven’t been making out in the dressing room for several months now.”

“Making out?” Midoriya joins the eye-rolling contest. “Kyouka comes to class in Denki’s shirts almost every day. They’ve been fucking for at least two years.”

“I thought she just likes his shirts?” This world’s Todoroki speaks up, flabbergasted.

“Oh, honey…” Midoriya taps his shoulders twice, not even bothering to answer him.

“Okay fuckers, now shut the fuck up and let’s hit those fucking drums! I’m so fucking ready!” Katsuki can’t listen to this nonsense anymore. He’s a man on a mission.

“Let’s do this, stupid, muscly twin. Let’s see who’s the best.” Bakugou smirks and the game is on.

~•💥•~

This is not a challenge between two friends. No. This fucking war. Both Katsuki’s take their turn to discuss their chosen song with the rest of the band privately. Everyone needs to wait in the hallway while the meeting is on. Then Bakugou comes out and Katsuki goes in. You swear there are flames under his feet as he barges through the door with determination.

“I know that look, Kacchan. You are fucked.” This world’s Deku decides to annihilate the awkward silence but making it even more awkward. Bakugou jumps in one place as a sudden realizations dawns on him.

“He will play THAT song. The bane of my existence. The one fucking song I just can’t get right. But that means he also can’t get it quite right, so… fuck, shouldn’t have played it safe.”

“Well, it’s important for him to win. And we are heroes. We never play safe. It makes sense. He wants a proper, KO win so he feels like he deserves the prize.” Shouto chimes in with a surprisingly fair answer.

“And if he doesn’t win, he’ll keep coming back until he does. Ahh, Kacchan is so amazing.” Izuku gets all red and the smile on his face is downright suggestive, it actually makes you wonder if there is more of a resemblance between him and his other self that you’ve thought.

“I will play the piano for you when we go to see Fuyumi next time.” Shouto mutters, his eyes glowing with determination.

“Ahh, that piano is really nice, isn’t it?” This world’s Deku chimes in. “My back still hurts when I think about it, though.”

Confusion. Awkward silence. Then it hits.

“You got dicked on the top of that piano.” Bakugou gawks at the boy, who tries to act all shy about it but he can’t really hide the shit eating grin on his face.

“I definitely can’t do that, there is a massive weight difference between this world’s us and uhm… us. There is also a massive difference between our family life, so doing something like that in my sister’s house would be highly inappropriate.” Shouto chimes in as well, speaking nonchalantly, like he’s talking about the weather.

“Shouto, I’m quite sure doing that in anyone’s house IS highly inappropriate anyway.” You try to add something to the conversation, because it’s getting out of hand. Izuku looks like he’s about the burst from embarrassment or something else, you are not sure. Thankfully the door opens and the whole band comes out, all looking pale and shaky.

“Bro. This guy… is an animal.” Kaminari stutters, making a beeline towards the closest drink machine.

“Honestly, ugly twin, give these guys a fucking challenge once in a while. They can play quite well.”

“I’m not ugly! I’m just small! Fuck you, muscle brain!” Bakugou yells with his face red. “And I do challenge them! They knew the song you are about to play, didn’t they?!”

“Yeah, and they also told me how you made them learn it then you never asked them to play it once.” Katsuki smirks and if this would be a normal world he would get an explosion to his face. But this Bakugou doesn’t have a quirk so he just pokes his other self on his side where it hurts the most. “Ouch, I think a mosquito just stung me.”

You can’t help but sigh. One Bakugou Katsuki is certainly enough for one world.

~•💥•~

Bakugou plays Basket Case by Green Day. And he looks extremely hot doing it.

You can’t believe you didn’t know they can play the drums like that. You can barely stop salivating over those muscly arms hitting the drums and this guy has half of the muscle mass your actual boyfriend does. You’ll literally pass out when it’s Katsuki’s turn to play. You also have a hard time believing he can top whatever Bakugou is doing on those drums. You are not a musician but you do have a good ear and Bakugou’s play is flawless, aggressive but precise, maybe a few mistakes here and there where he gets a bit too much into it but otherwise, he clearly has talent. Your other self also looks lovestruck as she stares at her boyfriend lovingly, eyes full of wonder and affection and damn, honestly, they are so fucking cheesy they make you burp.

Katsuki doesn’t even bother being his usual jealous self; there is a massive smirk on his face as the two swap places, his steps confident and when he looks back at you he mouths “keep your eyes on me” and needless to say that goes straight into your… you know what. He’s a hot guy, okay?!

Things only get worse from that point. First of all; he takes his shirt off just as he sits down then throws it right into your face with a massive smirk. The shirt smells just like him and you can’t help but daydream about being home, surrounded by this scent all over. You take the shirt and take a good sniff; Katsuki’s eyes darken, his gaze so lustful it makes you blush like this is the first time you’ve ever seen him look like that.

Somehow… it feels different. Possessive in a good way. Hah. You always hated when someone thought about their partner as “theirs” but now you start to understand that it’s not all about being someone’s possession, it’s more about you being a part of them, one not whole without the other.

Katsuki’s chosen song is Through the fire and flames by an old band called DragonForce.

Tokoyami plays the beginning flawlessly; It’s a fucking hard song to play on every instrument, mostly on guitar and the drums but while Tokoyami looks much more focused than he did when he played the easy chords in the last song, he doesn’t look that bothered. Kaminari on the other hand looks like he’s about to shit himself and it makes you giggle; this song is an absolute pain in the ass on the guitar and you are actually quite surprised that they somehow manage to play the song because even professional guitarists struggle to learn this one. Needless to say there are a few mistakes on their part, but otherwise, it’s quite impressive. You keep your eyes on Tokoyami and Kaminari for the first few seconds of the song as there is no drums at the beginning but when they get to the part with the drums you almost choke on your saliva.

Katsuki looks like a fucking rockstar. The way his muscles bulge when he hits the toms makes you salivate, but you can barely concentrate on the beauty in front of you as the way he plays is even more impressive. It’s powerful, precise, no mistakes whatsoever. The song already has complicated drums but you swear he made it even more difficult to play, even the easy parts sound more complicated and so much better than the original and when you finally tear your eyes off your gorgeous boyfriend you take a look at Bakugou, who’s sitting next to you, gawking at Katsuki with an open mouth, too impressed to be devastated about him loosing - because let’s be honest, he really fucking did loose.

The next time you look at Katsuki, he’s glowing. He looks so happy behind that drum set, so content and so-so handsome it makes your heart clench. You can’t believe this guy is yours. You can’t believe you’ll wake up every day next to this gorgeous fucking man, hopefully, for the rest of your life.

As Katsuki finishes the solo with an absolute sick drum solo, he stands up before the song wraps up and your body moves on its own; you jump into your boyfriend’s arms and he catches your legs and pulls you even closer as he kisses you deeply, right in front of everyone.

“Marry me, Bakugou Katsuki.” You mumble, incapable of pulling away from his puffy, soft lips. Katsuki takes something out of his pocket and let’s you down, but he doesn’t go too far away; He leaves a tiny kiss on your knuckles, tears pricking his beautiful red eyes as he goes down on one knee in front of you.

“Be my fucking wife, Menace. Let’s grow fucking old together. You are the best fucking thing that’ve ever happened to be and the most annoying one as well, but I fucking love you nonetheless.” Katsuki bursts out in tears by the end of his sentence and you are not too far behind; when you are about to answer a loud sob breaks out of your throat.

“Okay.” You mumble, letting him put the ring on your finger. You almost faint when you look at it because while you don’t have any idea about ring prices you already know this one cost a fortune. It’s so fucking beautiful and so perfectly him. Loud and fancy. Just like your fiancé. “I’ll be the best and the most annoying wife in the whole wide world. I promise.”

Katsuki seals the deal with another deep kiss then the moment is ruined when Izuku and Deku starts crying loudly. It’s so loud it actually hurts your eardrums.

“Save your fucking tears for the time I need to recreate all of this for Eijirou’s sake because I ain’t telling him that I proposed to her while he wasn’t here!”

“You want me to give this ring back to you?! But I don’t wanna! It’s so pretty!” You moan, but Katsuki only rolls his eyes.

“You will live, wifey.” Okay. You really fucking like the sound of that. “I’ll keep your mind away from it.” Katsuki pulls you closer by your waist and leaves a scorching hot kiss on your mouth. You melt like a fucking snowman in a microwave.

“Hmm. Deal.”

~•💥•~

“Oi, look! It’s Kirishima!” This world’s Bakugou points to the window of a coffee shop near campus. “He’s making out with the barista!”

“Fucking finally!” Deku rolls his eyes, annoyed. “He’s been pining for months!”

You can’t help but smile when you sneakily look into the coffee shop because that’s the same girl Kirishima’s been daydreaming about in your world. It makes you so happy to see him like this; Eijirou has a special place in your heart and you really hoped he’ll find his own happy end eventually.

“Do you think he knows he’s shagging that famous rock star’s niece?” Todoroki asks the million dollar question. Katsuki and you look up at the guy with question marks in your eyes. “That girl… is the niece of that famous singer-guitarist. The band name is… Crimson Riot? It’s Kirishima’s favorite band I think.”

“Oh my god.” Katsuki looks at you with a shit eating smirk. “Oh my god, I can’t wait to see his face when he realizes that. This is gonna be amazing.”

Yeah it will be… but that’s a story for another day - you think to yourself as you walk around the campus once more, hand in hand with your brand new fiancé. You can’t wait to get home and snuggle him until he blast you out of the window.

“Will you come over again, Y/N?” Deku takes your other hand and starts walking with you like he’s a little kid. You look at Katsuki who only gives you a cheeky smile but that’s all the answer you needed.

“Yeah. We will.”

The End.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- I’m quite sure no sane human being can play the guitar part of the song Katsuki decided to play with that band. I’m just saying, because I usually try to be realistic and that wasn’t. Also, big thank you for my ex-drummer boyfriend for choosing that song for me because I was in stitches for days 😂 I can kinda play a lot of instruments but drums ain’t one of them. I once sat down and tried to play it and he cried. 😂😂😂😂

- The Dabi part inspired me so much that I actually started to write a DabiHawks fanfiction in this AU. It will be a completely separate thing from this and some details will be different, plus I’ll probably upload it on AO3, but just to let you know, that’s something I’m working on when I have the time! I’ll post about it on my Tumblr once it’s done!

- This is the official end of Katsuki’s side of this story. I’m sad but I’m also really happy for him! Thank you very much for everyone for sticking with me for a whole year! I actually uploaded the first chapter of this almost exactly a year ago. How freaky is that?!

- As you guys know, there is a spin-off for this series called Kirishima Eijirou’s daily shenanigans and the first chapter is already up so click here to read my first Kirishima x reader fanfic! 🪨

TL - thank you guys for being here 😭😭 @sixxze @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @hanatsuki-hime @cloroxisadelectabletreat @cheesenmax @coffeent @smolsleepybat @therealpotatobish @qardasngan @canarystwin @unofficialmuilover @nanamomo1 @mikestuffffs @p4ndawrites @yao-ai @porusuniverse

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou x self insert #shenanigansbypurplepotato #bakugo x you #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #soft bakugou #pro hero dynamight x reader

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auroracalisto · 1 year

Text

yandere!klaus mikaelson headcanons

this request (along with a few others) has been in my ask box for a while now. i'm so sorry i'm just now getting to them!! but without further ado, here it is!

klaus already shows particular behaviors in the show, so it wouldn't surprise anyone to know that he is most definitely a yandere.

that being said, though, he would most likely keep it on the down low—you wouldn't really know unless you thought long and hard about it. and he does well at keeping things hidden; he wouldn't be able to live with himself if you were to up and leave him.

you probably wouldn't have a chance to, anyway. he'd make you stay, somehow.

my man can never keep a straight face when he's around you—he loves you so much, and you just make him so inexplicably happy. he'll make sure you know this, too.

i do have to note that klaus is an overprotective yandere. he knows that his impulsivity gets the best of him in his day-to-day life, so being overprotective is a must.

you could be hurt by an enemy of his, and he would never be able to forgive himself.

he lets you go out on your own. that's why you have a tracker on your phone, and why you always have both vervain and vampire blood in your system (if you have yet to be changed; if you have already been changed, he might find other ways, still including your phone—perhaps having a pair of sire eyes on you at all times).

you might not know about the vervain or vampire blood... at some point, i feel like he would confess that, but for some time, he keeps it a secret and sneaks it into your food and drinks. he uses a witch to mask the taste, most of the time. fun.

as noted above, he doesn't want you to be upset with him, so he definitely gives you some time to yourself. but that's not to say that he doesn't know everything you're doing. you just... most likely don't know that he, or someone he trusts, is nearby.

he respects your freedom and your independence, but if you were to ever cross that thin invisible border of betraying his trust, he'd cut you off; you'd be stuck by him, no matter what. he'd explain that it's only because he has so many enemies, but his siblings know better than that.

klaus has always been this way. it's nothing new.

at times, klaus will say things to influence your decisions. not that he wants to take away your choice, but he does try to look after your heart. the things that you do in life are heavily monitored by klaus (again, even if you don't know it).

being a vampire with heightened senses has only made klaus' obsessive behaviors worse. but being a vampire also has allowed him to keep you safe in many different scenarios. he's grateful for his abilities, and even more so that he can sneak around without having you worry about anything.

arguments might get intense, stemming from his insecurities and the fact that sometimes, he really can become suffocating... not that he'd ever tell you that, though.

if you were to ever threaten to leave him, i could imagine he'd become defensive and say something along the lines of, "if you leave those doors, i swear you'll regret it." or some bullshit like, "you're mine. do i need to remind you who you belong to?"

he would definitely pull the, "i'll put myself in harm's way," card, but i'm not gonna delve into that.

If you ended up being changed, no matter what the situation, he would be worse.

he failed you as a human; he wouldn't fail you again. he would become even more obsessed with keeping you safe and under lock and key.

he wouldn't tell you the immense guilt he feels after you were changed. he wanted you to have a choice (although your choice was either "yes" or "yes, but not now").

you often would be by his side, and if you weren't, his siblings were nearby. no longer would he trust a sire; it was either him, a sibling, or you stayed home, where a trusted witch had safeguarded the entire building.

he loves you very much, no matter what; human or vampire.

he knows he would do anything to protect you.

anything.

but he does it out of love. he really does.

at least, as far as you can tell.

#klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson x reader #niklaus mikaelson #niklaus mikaelson x reader #niklaus x reader #klaus x reader #tvd #to #the vampire diaries #the originals #headcanons #yandere #yandere klaus #yandere klaus mikaelson #tvd headcanons #gender neutral reader #gn!reader

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hypnoneghoul · 11 months

Text

Abandon Your Freedom

WC: 1,7K

Tags: EDS and POTS Rain, mentions of vomiting

Rain woke up tired. Nothing new, he just sighed deeply, his heart already speeding up to an uncomfortable pound, as he sank back limply into the sheets. Though he was, kind of, used to it, he was already frustrated. He shouldn’t be tired after eleven hours of good sleep in a comfortable nest.

Notes: It may be boring as hell, but I had to channel my negative energy concerning my illnesses somewhere, so here it is.

Read under the cut or on AO3.

Rain woke up tired.

Nothing new, he just sighed deeply, his heart already speeding up to an uncomfortable pound, as he sank back limply into the sheets. Though he was, kind of, used to it, he was already frustrated. He shouldn’t be tired after eleven hours of good sleep in a comfortable nest.

Rain stretched, the action making his heart rate jump up once again and his body let out a series of concerningly sounding pops. He grunted as he pushed himself up, his wrists bending uncomfortably where they dug into the soft mattress. He also tried not to pass out right after getting up when his vision darkened.

The water ghoul could already feel pressure in his hips and knees, for whatever reason, padding tiredly to the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water, which made his dizziness subside a bit, and turned back to his bedroom. Rain knew this was not going to be a good day, but he had things to do. He had to just suck it up.

Rain got dressed, not even bothering with any braces, it wouldn’t do much, anyway, if he woke up with everything feeling shit already. He checked his phone, cursing to himself when it turned out he had making a big dinner for his pack planned for today. It had to be today, out of all days.

When Rain got to the kitchen, not having the energy to even lift his feet off the floor properly on his way, only Mountain was there. Not that Rain was there so early, quite the opposite, everyone presumably ate their breakfast and went to take care of their respective chores already, “Hi, Mounty.”

“Hello, Tadpole,” the earth ghoul greeted him, opening his arms for the smaller to fall into, Rain taking the invitation with a heavy sigh. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Nothing, really,” Rain grumbled. “‘m not hungry.”

“Rain, you know you have to have some kind of energy for the rest of the day,” he was well aware, of course, but he felt like eating right now meant only rushing to throw it back up.

“I know,” he muttered. “I will, in some time, I promise.”

“If you say so. I gotta go now, it's past noon already,” Mountain sighed, peeling Rain off of him. “I’ll check up on you later, okay?”

“Okay, thanks, Mounty. Have your phone on, I’ll be texting when the dinner will be ready.”

“Sure, Tadpole. Take care,” and after a quick kiss between Rain’s horns, Mountain left. The water ghoul sighed, shoulder slumping, as he wiped his face with his hand and turned to the kitchen.

“Let’s get the party started,” he mumbled to himself, cracking his knuckles. He was planning on making spaghetti today, with homemade pasta. If all that was in their kitchen wouldn’t be ingredients specifically for that, he would switch his plans up and make something easier and quicker, but there was literally no other option available. So, he got to work.

At first everything was going smoothly (not counting what already hurt, his lower back soon joining his hips and knees), up until he had to open two cans of tomatoes. His left thumb popped out then. Nothing surprising, the ghoul just grumbled and grabbed the cans differently, succeeding in opening them.

Making the sauce itself was an easy enough task, it just needed to be set up and then left to cook, so Rain finished this one fairly quickly. It was the pasta dough that was more problematic.

After all the ingredients were measured out and put into one big bowl, it was time to knead it. It took Rain way more time than it should, and resulted in two dislocated fingers and all the joints in his hand up to his elbow hurting. Just because.

The ghoul still didn’t eat anything, and he still didn’t feel a particular need to. He also hadn’t sat down since he got out of bed and his body was protesting quite loudly at that, feet, knees, hips and back throbbing to the same rhythm his too-fast heart was beating in.

Rain could do it, though, he did more difficult things on his worse days more than once. He could do it. Definitely.

He gave himself a quick break when he divided the dough into a few smaller parts and put it into the fridge to sit for a bit. He sat down onto the floor, it was always the most comfortable, body folding in on itself, and rested for ten minutes, or so.

When he got up, he got dizzy, again. Of course.

Just as he was about to fall back to the floor, Mountain decided to fulfill his earlier promise of checking up on him and gently grabbed the water ghoul by his shoulder, “Hey, you with me?”

“Yeah, just-” Rain breathed. “Can’t see anything, give me a second.”

The drummer did, not letting go of his packmate’s shoulder, and soon Rain straightened up, “Okay, I’m back.”

“I presume you have not eaten since I’ve left?”

“I- uh, sorry,” Rain blushed, turning away from Mountain.

“What about I’ll set up dry toast for you?” he proposed. “Just one or two?”

“I can do it myself.”

“I know you can,” the earth ghoul assured. “But I’ll wait here until you do.”

Rain mumbled something incoherent at that, pulling out a toaster and bread and setting up to thin toasts. He had a whole two minutes before they popped out, Mountain still watching him closely from the doorway. The water ghoul took this time to get the pasta dough out from the freezer and throw it onto the counter.

He sat on it himself when his toasts were ready, munching on them lazily, Mountain’s worried gaze heavy on him. It took Rain an awfully long time to eat both of the pieces, but when he did, he earned himself a quick hug and a pat of the head from the earth ghoul, “Proud of you, Tadpole. See you later.”

He left again, and Rain got back to the dough. He silently regretted not asking Mountain to roll it out, the rolling pin giving his wrists a bit of trouble. But he managed, eventually, and all that was left was shaping the pasta. Few months ago he’d still do it by hand, but since Copia gifted the ghouls a pasta maker, Rain’s cooking duties got so much easier.

With that, the pasta was ready to boil fifteen minutes later. It was already 3pm, so he shot a text on the group chat that the dinner would be done in half an hour and took on cleaning up the kitchen. His pain, overally, didn’t get better, but it also didn’t get worse, so he saw a slight positive in that.

When the time for the dinner itself came, Aether was first to appear, just in time to witness Rain struggling with lifting the huge pot the pasta was boiling in, “Rainy, let me.”

He caved in not without a growl at his inability to do this simple thing. Aether drained off the pasta and then dumped it into the deep skillet where the sauce was cooking for the last few hours. He also mixed it and moved it to the table in the common room, placing it in the middle to then get out tons of cutlery, plates and glasses.

When the whole pack got there, Rain finally sat down. His back popped loudly and invisible pressure weighed down on him, his spine compressing to make his ribs feel like they are all touching, making it hard to fill his lungs, heart racing.

He ate, it was, after all, his comfort food, and absentmindedly listened to the praise his back showered him in at the deliciousness of the dinner. When everyone finished, Rain got up to clean up, but Mountain held him down by a grounding hand on his thigh, “Dew and Swiss can clean up.”

“What? We were doing chores all day!” Dewdrop complained.

“I really can-” Rain started, but was silenced by Mountain once again.

“And Rain was cooking for us all day,” Aether said. “You two can manage putting a few plates into the dishwasher.”

Dew looked like he had some more to say, while Swiss was already in the kitchen, but he shut his mouth when he finally looked at Rain, noticing his packmate’s slumped shoulders and a slightly pained expression, “'kay, sorry, on it.”

In the meantime, Mountain pushed back Rain’s chair, grabbed his hand to help him up and when the water ghoul was on his feet, scooted him up bridal style.

“This is extremely unnecessary,” he complained, but couldn’t hold back the relieved sigh at being able to go completely limp.

“Sure,” Mountain chuckled, though there was a concerned strain in his tone, “I totally didn’t notice your wincing and heavy breaths all throughout the dinner. You should have asked for help with it when you realised it was one of the bad days.”

“Hm,” he hummed, “Maybe. What’re we gonna do now?”

“I am going to give you a massage,” the earth ghoul announced as they entered his room. “You are going to get a nap. And later I’ll get the gremlin to warm you up.”

“Mhm,” Rain was so tired and aching all over he had no fight left in him to argue with his packmate already. He nearly moaned at the feeling of being gently laid out in Mountain’s fluff of a nest.

When he got to said massage, Rain was whimpering in pain at first, but it didn’t take much for him to sag into the sheets and let himself be taken care of as he drifted away with a comforting thought in mind.

No matter how ‘used’ to his issues he and everyone around him was, he could never stop feeling guilty about being less able to do some things than his packmates, about being a burden. But they would never allow him to feel as such, to feel left out, to overdo himself, and would always take care of him, no matter what, no matter how much care he’d need.

#hypnone writes #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #fanfiction #rain ghoul #mountain ghoul #aether ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #swiss ghoul #eds and pots rain #chronic illness #hypnone's disabled ghouls

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da-birb-writes-sometimes · 11 months

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Driving Habits -Savanaclaw Edition

Can they drive? If so, what kind of drivers are they? What are their car habits?

Characters; Leona Kingscholar, Ruggie Bucchi & Jack Howl

Content; swearing, mentions of road rage & near accidents

Author’s Note; NRC has a school radio for this (honestly a school radio would be kinda cool ngl), pretending that TWST gets our music from here. I get sappy over Ruggie & his Grammy.

Word Count; 500+

Find the Rest of the Series; Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia

Author’s Note; As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

Leona Kingscholar

*Looks at Tamashina-Mina*

The best driver at NRC. It initially started as a means to get away from the palace; enjoying having some freedom.

What he listens to while driving depends on his mood; if he’s content and just driving around he doesn’t listen to anything, but if he’s feeling irritated he’s cranking up the sound and letting it drown out his complaints.

He has his phone on silent and it’s tossed somewhere in the back. If you’re pressed to get in contact, leave a message.

Doesn’t keep many personal belongings in his jeep, most likely just a pillow and a throw blanket for when he decides to have a nap somewhere. Cheka has left some of his toys from the time he snuck in, so he also has a booster seat since his sister-in-law nearly bit his head off for that.

Is easily annoyed by bad drivers, and will mutter insults at smaller offences. Will resort to flipping people off and honking if it’s more serious. The only time he got really angry and almost got out of his car is the time someone nearly t-boned him.

Ruggie Bucchi

A good driver has the occasional slip-up, but still good. Learned how to drive so he could take care of his Grammy and community. Leona gifted him the car so he can do tasks.

Listens primarily to the radio and CDs (I see Leona gifting him an older car). The CDs were discounted at Sam’s shop, or some of the parents from his community gave them to him. They mainly consist of classic rock, R&B, and ’80s-’90s top hits.

His phone isn’t usually on silent, since he’ll probably get a call from Leona or his other dorm mates. Also, he doesn’t want to miss a call from back home.

He keeps his car clean and doesn’t have many decorations. The most he has is an air freshener and a gift he got for his birthday one year. Keeps any coupons he can find in a ziplock bag in the glove box.

Just sighs to himself whenever someone is riding his ass or otherwise being annoying or rude. He’ll take mental note of the car plate depending on the circumstance and report it.

Jack Howl

Defensive driver and drives a bit slower than the speed limit due to his experience with black ice and bad winter road conditions.

He drives without any background music until he feels like he can handle being able to focus properly on the road. When he feels ready for music though, he probably plays a mix of everything but sticks mainly to something more mellow; he saves the fast music for working out and track.

His phone is on silent, and he is not touching it until the car is turned off. Plus Ace pings the first-year group chat so often that it would just prove to be a distraction.

He has a tiny cactus terrarium sitting on his dash (he super glued it down), and also has some other cactus and planted-themed items hanging about. He keeps a booster seat in his trunk in case one of his siblings wants a ride or he needs to pick them up (even if they’re old enough to not need it, he keeps one on hand).

Doesn’t get road rage, but does get disheartened from seeing irresponsible drivers.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #leona kingscholar #twst leona #ruggie bucchi #twst ruggie #jack howl #twst jack #leona kingscholar headcanon #ruggie bucchi headcanon #jack howl headcanon #road work ahead? I sure hope it does!#yes i'm putting car related vines in the tags; sue me #savanaclaw headcanons

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mayariviolet · 3 months

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TEMPERANCE - W.I.P

Reader x Jean Kirstein Fic

(ft. Jean x Reader)

chapter title: The King of Cups

summary: The calm before the storm. A new school year approaches but not without the party to mourn the loss of freedom; hosted by none other than You, Mikasa and Sasha.

cw: alcohol consumption, swearing.

a/n: uhm… technically, this is happening in the first chapter, but I am trying really hard to start introducing conflicts at the beginning of my stories! I am a yapper! Forgive me! (See the end for more notes)

✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧

"How come you're not drunk?"

You are drunk, but you’d never let Jean know that. At least not while taking care of him.

“I just handle my liquor better.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Wha- you can’t- What?” Cocking your head in disbelief, your lips sour at his accusation. “Yes, I do!”

Jean shakes his head furiously back and forth. The cup of water sloshed in his hand while he did so. “Remember that time we went out because you were crying about-“

“Yes-” You cut him off. He’s really about to rehash this story.

“And then you were all like, ‘AAAA! I still love you!’ I’m sorry!’”Jean says playfully. He puts his cup down and starts imitating that night, crumbling and pretending to punch the ground. “Ha! And when you were like, ‘I hate that-’”

“Okay, jackass! I get it!” You huff, crossing your arms.

It’s bad enough he’s haunting your dreams, but having Jean rub it in your face that your first and only ex-boyfriend was essentially a fallen Angel is mortifying. Not in a ‘he was a blessing in disguise’ way, and it didn’t work out. No, definitely not that.

More like- he fell from your good graces. Repenting the unconditional love you still carried for him.

Even though your ex-boyfriend did share an eerily amount of similarities to the banished servant of God, he wasn’t awful. Just misguided.

It’s a low blow even for Jean. Besides, what did he know about your previous relationship anyways? From the way Jean licked the bottom of his lip before furrowing his brows it seems like he could tell it was a low blow too. God he’s so hot and infuriating.

Wait, which one are you thinking about?

“I’m emotional when I’m drunk, so what?” You’re definitely slurring your words now.

“At least I don’t strip naked whenever Hot in Herre by Nelly Plays.” You jeer, leaning down to be at eye level with Jean. It’s childish, but he started it.

“That was one time! And Connie did it too.”

Cackling at the memory of Jean slowly and seductively trying to seduce Mikasa, much to her and Eren’s horror, you feel a tiny sense of relief. Wiping the tears forming before remembering that Jean brought up that stain again.

[REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]

The booming music seems to intensify the car crash on Nostalgia Lane. Jean is still on the ground, his eyes observing the seemingly permanent scowl on your face. He subtly bites the bottom of his lip and the inside of his cheek.

Jean’s pathetic position right now makes the back of your neck hot, and you’re thankful that the copious amounts of alcohol you’ve consumed is a viable excuse for the blush painting your cheeks right now.

“I-” Blinking a couple times you take a step back and Jean stands up. His brows are furrowed. “I’m getting you some more water.”

“Okay. Maybe get some for yourself too.”

Nodding, you fill up what was once your cup with water for Jean. Taking a sip before giving him the rest.

The phone in your denim pants vibrates. Reaching into the back pocket, you’re greeted with a slew of ‘welcome’ emails from professors. One email in particular stands out the most. But before you can read it, a text from your parents lingers at the top.

[REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]

… Jean seems to fade into the background. Before you can stew in your stress, Mikasa calls out to you.

“Do we have ice?!”

“Yes! Give me a second!”

Ignoring the notifications and using Mikasa as an out, you turn to Jean and give him an apologetic smile.

“I have to help with damage control.” Shuffling around the kitchen for a baking bowl, you reach into the freezer and toss some ice cubes into the tin bowl. The coolness of the ice regulates the heat from your hand.

“I get it. I’ll uhm- clean a bit here before I go back out.”

“Oh! You don’t have to do that. I can do it.”

“I know you can. I just wanna help you.” He mutters but his earnestness shines through Jean’s downcast warm brown eyes.

You’re too drained to oppose, so you begrudgingly let Jean help. Although, secretly, you’re a bit thankful.

“I’ll see you around. Enjoy the party, don’t take any migraine pills tomorrow or, something like that. It’s bad for your liver.” Shooting him another tight-lipped smile and taking a few steps towards the rest of the party, a wave of laughter rings in the air.

You give him a small wave with your free hand, and Jean nods, taking a swig of the water.

“Thanks for the invite.”

Good thing Jean’s face is also flushed, it’s somehow less embarrassing than before. (Chapter Continues)

✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧

a/n: farewell my sweet freedom from doing nothing but writing 😔 AGH! I just got my work schedule and I’m gonna be so busy I’m rolling around screaming. So here’s my last WIP for awhile. I’m gonna really buckle down and finish planning everything this month and polish my other two one shots? As always any feed back is appreciated!

- disclaimer -

📹please note that all of this is subject to change as my story is currently growing with me. thank you for your continued patience!✨🌙

══════════════════

#temperance fic📹⚖️#temperance fic wip #current wip❕#jean kirstein x you #jean kirstein x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #modern au aot #aot college au #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfic #no use of y/n #i am so excited about this story i think about what to write next every day hehe #mv.writing📝

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marvelmaniac2000 · 11 months

Text

The Riddler - (Edward x Reader) 💚

Ch.3

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Summary: Edward can’t help seeing you struggle with your day to day life. Being a college girl is hard enough.

Subject: SOMNOPHILIA/SMUT WARNING, storyline, Fluff, eventually will turn into smuts in between chapters, desperation, submissive kink, savior kink, Being pampered/babied kink, stalking, minor depression, mystery thriller? P in V content, slight choking,

Words: 1.7k

Characters: Edward Nashton x Reader (college fem! reader)

MATURE 18+/MISSPELLING GRAMMAR APOLOGIES

(Side notes)

I want to drown in a sea of all things Edward Nashton and Paul Dano. I might write nonstop headcanons and other fics all week about this beautiful man. I’ll soon have more time, btw this chapter is consensual <3

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Ch. 1 2 3

“You sure Eddie? I’m being serious if this–”

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out though” you pause for a second and study his expression.

“I-It’s fine, I think we are going to be ok..just don’t overthink it” he gave you a sly smile.

You stood up from the stool and snaked your arms around his waist resting your chin on his shoulder. “Thank you” you whispered before pressing a kiss on his cheek. Eddie flushed with heat having you kiss him. “Y-you’re welcome” He wanted you to stay close to his arm, but that would have to wait a little while longer tonight.

“I think we should get going. I was supposed to lock up the door like thirty minutes ago” you rushed over to the corner of the store to retrieve your jacket.

“Right, but I’m sure you have to be back here before you know it right? It seems kind of pointless to him, considering you practically are here pretty early in the morning.

“Yep. One last day, and I will be switching jobs soon” Eddie followed behind you toward the door as you switched off the lights for the night.

“Text me when you make it home” Eddie curled his fingers in his pockets locking his eyes with yours.

“I will..” you gave a sweet grin realizing this was a beginning of something relieving. Like a new feeling of something you couldn’t quite describe. Was it soon to move in with him? You watch him walk off as you graze the key against your fingers inside your pocket. Maybe it’s just you overthinking once more like he said. There’s so much that you couldn’t wait to do, But one thing you knew for certain though, you made the right decision for the roommate that you did want to have.

You walked down toward the first block near the stop sign to wave down the closest taxi driver.

Man were you tired. As soon as you hopped into the car, you slouched your head against the window watching the city pass by. There were just a few more things you needed to get down at home, before heading to bed. But man you couldn’t wait to text Eddie more than anything else. All the plans and future freedoms you can have, and also the relief you have hopefully only going have on the expenses and all that other jazz. Once the taxi driver arrived at your stop, you paid him his money before making your way to your home.

The warmth of the hallway hugged you, rubbing off your worked shoes at the door.

You greeted your mom and spent time with her to ask about her day and everything else going on in her own world. The amount of time left was growing grim as you glanced at the time on the wall at your home.

You wished her goodnight before walking up the stairs to finally go into your bedroom.

“Shit” you cursed to yourself realizing you forgot to text Eddie that you made it home.

You scramble for your phone and text him.

You: “Hey! Sorry for the late response, but I made it home”

you smile at your screen and curl up on your bed.

Eddie: It’s Ok :) I’m glad you made it safely. Are you free this weekend to talk about plans?”

You: “Yea I took off this Saturday, we can talk tomorrow too, we have plenty of time”

Eddie: “I know I just need to let my landlord know in advance about you. But don’t worry I’ll take care of it”

You: “oh yea that’s right lol … but we should make sure you have enough space in your place too.”

Eddie: “Don’t worry, remember? Just get some sleep, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning :)

Gn”

You: Good night :)

You smiled and stared at your phone for a while, looking at his messages. How could someone be so perfect? He could do everything you wanted. But as a roommate and something more?

Can’t be possible. It would just mess everything up in the long run. You never want anything to harm his precious feelings either. Eddie was such a sweetheart to you. There’s no other guy who made you feel the way you did. But it was important not to get caught up in the moment and focus on the end goal of this stage. You slowly made your way to your bathroom to take a quick shower.

Eddie watched from across the street of your home and noticed the yellow light of your bedroom on. After your late text he had to make sure you went to bed or otherwise he himself wouldn’t be able to sleep for the night. Oh the things he would do to you every minute and day he would see you. Kiss you goodnight and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. That was something he planned on doing as soon as you went to bed. He usually never was this bold with his advances, but this time he felt as though he knew more and felt closer to you. You were his..

He slowly creeped over to your bedroom window and watched you enter your room naked with a towel wrapped around just your hair. “Oh baby” he whispered, taking in your beautiful body. His dick hardens, noticing your curves and every inch of your body. His glasses fogged up with his mouth wide open dreaming of touching your skin and being between those thighs.

Going unnoticed he watch you rub lotion on your skin and carefully slip on some very cute pink underwear that hugged your ass just right. Eddie hand tucked into his pants stroking himself slowly as he seen you crawl into bed and shut off your lamp for the night.

Eddie waited patiently for a good while before finding a way to break into your home. He sneakily made his way into your bedroom and quietly closed your bedroom door. You were peacefully asleep with just your hair fallen over your face.

“My love” he whispered into your hair and smelled it. He slowly peeled the covers back and glided his hands up your soft legs. His fingertips brushed over the inside of your thigh making you moan just a bit in your sleep.

Eddie bent down to kiss your thigh and slowly parted your legs without waking you. He couldn’t help seeing how peaceful and cute you were. All of your body was his and no one else. So pure and soft. All he wanted to do was pleasure you and make you feel good. “My precious girl” he rubbed his hand against your cheek and softly ran his fingers between your folds in your panties. You softly moan and squirm in your sleep. “Shh” Eddie grew harder watching your face squirm. He smiled wondering what you dreamed of as he pleased you. “You’re so wet baby girl” his hand was leaned against your side to support himself as he slowly swirled your clit with your lubricated up wetness. Eddie pushed up your night gown to expose your sweet breasts.

He carefully pulled your panties down halfway to expose your flower. His fingers twirled your nipples in circular motions to harden them.

He smirked carefully, giving a soft squeeze. His mouth grazed around your nipple while silently sucking on it. He watch your sleepless expression as your chest rise up and down.

Eddie slips his digits inside you to feel your wetness build up while you rest. Making you squirm a bit between your legs. Eddie slowly retracted his fingers before undoing his pants.

His harden dick dripped off pre cum ready to own your body. His breath heavily tried to slow down pace before aligning himself between your thighs. He felt shameful for doing his but he wanted to make sure you were taken care of. You felt so good to him. All of you were taking him in as he slowly enters inside you. You slowly awaken and startled by seeing him on top of you.

Before you could speak Eddie covered your mouth with his hand.

“Please don’t scream” he continued to pump into you harder. You wrapped your legs around his waist to signal to him that you liked him inside you. You pull his hand away and quietly breathe out. “Eddie go faster” you pull him in closer to feel his strokes deeper inside you.

Eddie silently moaned out your name as you begged him not to stop. “Look at me Eddie” you softly took his adorable cheeks into yours. You both were in the dark but you could barely see his face. You weren’t sure if you were dreaming or not but you felt hungry and lustful for him as he made you feel pleasure. “I’m all yours” you kiss his lips clinging on his shoulders.

“You promise? He pounded into you harder feeling you silently scream. His hand lightly gripped your neck. You notice a slight difference in his puppy eyes that makes you go crazy.

“mhmm” you bit your bottom lip toes curled feeling him slowly soften his strokes to torture you.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay” he kissed your cheek. “I promise I am now” you whispered. “Sorry I think I made a mess” he pulled himself out of you and noticed a pool of cum on the sheets.

“Oh man” you had so many questions in your mind, but you didn’t bother asking yet, the only concern you had was felt in the moment. Your face was flushed red from how sleepish you still were. You pulled his arm back before he could get up. “No just stay here, sleep next to me until early in the morning, we're going to see each other anyway right?” you grabbed a towel to cover the sheets and cuddle next to him. “How am I going to be able to leave?” Eddie still was surprised at how you weren't freaking out. “Just sneak out the window silly” you whispered before falling to sleep cuddled up in his arms.

Tag: @miurumacaroons

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#fanfic #love story #writing #dc universe #the riddler #edward naston #edward naston fanfic #edward naston smut #edward naston x reader #the batman #the batman fanfic #the riddler fanfic #riddler fluff #paul dano #paul dano fanfic #marvel maniac 2000 #paul dano x reader

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by-ethan-fox · 1 month

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So I saw Gundam Seed FREEDOM...

... and honestly it defies analysis.

I will avoid spoilers for major plot elements in this write-up.

I'm a huge Gundam fan. This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who has followed my work for a long time, as I frequently bring it up, even in entirely inapplicable situations.

But even though I've been a fan since the late 90s, I'd never had a chance to see any of it in the cinema - so when AllTheAnime organised a special short run of the movie for UK theatres, I jumped at the chance.

What I saw surprised me.

To clarify, I'm not one of those Gundam fans who hates SEED. Sure, I love the UC, but I'm not gonna lie, Wing was my genesis within the fandom so I'm as likely to watch G-Gundam as 08th MS Team, though I do lean towards the grittier side of the franchise, with War in the Pocket being my favourite entry.

But most relevant to this is that while I enjoyed SEED, I've always been critical of Destiny for some really bizarre plotting that, frankly, kinda left the CE timeline in a mess. Like many fans, with the show having been off the air for nearly two decades, I gave up on the idea the movie might exist literally years ago.

With all that out of the way...

The movie does exist. Finally. And is it good? Bad?

The weird thing is I don't know what to say, and that's weird for a writer.

It's awesome. It's terrible. It's goofy. It's clever. It's idiotic. It's bizarre.

But it's over 2 hours long and, honestly, I was never bored, which I guess is a success?

Perhaps most surprisingly, the movie expends ZERO ENERGY on helping you if you haven't seen the near-100-episodes of CE anime which came before this. Like, if you haven't seen SEED and or Destiny, you are just utterly fucked. The show wheels characters and plot-beats from the prior material in-and-out in a manner I could best call aggressive. I last watched Destiny about ~7 years ago, and I'm a self-admitted Gundam nerd; but even I had to look up a few things on my phone afterwards.

Then, fan-service. Of both kinds. All sorts of things get pulled out of cold storage for the movie... But it works. Though that also stands as a testament to how this is, in the truest sense, a 2004 anime throwback. I actually heard some people in the cinema groaning at some of the Gainax Bouncing going on; but then given the jiggly silhouette in EVERY OPENING TO SEED, frankly it would've been stranger if it had been absent.

I think the movie has loads of problems. Even by CE standards, some of the storytelling was really goofy and dare-I-say-it, "cringe". It recycles probably too much and certainly doesn't stand on its own as a piece of media (though that's not so much a failing as a clear, conscious choice).

Also... It has that "anime movie" thing where the plot feels a bit filler. The first time you have this new guy on the scene with shock-white hair, being all edgelord as he talks about war and destiny and fencing or some other weird metaphor you kinda see the entire movie unfurl before you. If you're a longtime anime fan this isn't so much your first rodeo as your daily commute.

From there, the story takes numerous predictable turns, dips liberally into melodrama, sets up some great Mobile Suit fights, with relatively few surprises (note, however, I'm not saying "no surprises", as there are some, and also, I'm not suggesting it's tedious).

And yet...

It's fun.

It's really, really fun.

That's the crux of all this. That's what really matters. And honestly, when that new theme comes out of the speakers, sounding in perfect key with the types of music that ran through SEED's run, and Kira's onscreen, and he's locking onto a dozen targets and beams are spamming everywhere and everything's exploding in that weird pink way that things in SEED explode...

Have you ever tried to play a videogame from the 90s that you haven't played in years? And do you know how touch-and-go that is?

Gundam Seed FREEDOM is, if I'm to compare it to anything, like that.

But thankfully, it's one of the times when your memories might have been optimistic, but they're not wrong. That game may be a bit crude, a bit rough around the edges, and have more boob and ass jiggle than you recall... But it's good. So good that you find yourself sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of your console, grinning like an absolute loon, until it's 2am and you can no longer feel your feet.

If you have fond memories of the SEED era of the Gundam franchise, don't miss it.

#featuretag #Gundam #gundam seed #gundam seed freedom #gundam seed destiny #anime

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grippingbeskar · 1 year

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salt, ice and fire | frank castle

chapter twenty five - witness statement

frank castle x fem!reader

warnings: canon typical violence, swearing, mentions of death, torture all that fun stuff, tiny mention of franks family stuff and a small illusion to sexy times.

a/n: oh my goddddd this series is simultaneously the best and worst thing happening to me. this chapter was originally so short, but i added heaps to the end and now that extra part i wrote in like 20 minutes is one of my favourites. as always i love you bitches so much. i think there’s only one chapter left. maybe an epilogue because i don’t want to blue ball you all. i can’t. this note is already too long and i’ve made you wait long enough. bye bye for now!

[series masterlist] [previous chapter]

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You know what a bad week is like.

Looking at your life in terms of numbers, something you used to try and do the first time you were locked up, you’ve had your fair share of them. It helped you count the days, keep track of how much time had passed. You’d look at it in weeks, seven days each— evaluating them, adding another scratch on the wall to keep count. A bad week would be lots of time drugged up, covered in blood, doing things you don’t think you can stomach to remember, and then passing out from exhaustion.

A good week to you used to be being left alone. Sleeping, getting food in a bowl and not slid across the floor. A warm day, one where you weren’t shivering to the point of pain. These past few weeks, though— they made you think that nearly every single week before this had been bad, because nothing could compare to this.

You could wake up whenever you wanted, a safety net of Frank Castle wrapped over and between you. You know he wakes up early, but he waits for you. Just sits there, holding you tight, waiting until whatever hour your eyes flutter open, just so you don’t have to wake up alone. When you finally regain consciousness out of the deepest sleeps of your life, you feel the warmth of the sun on your face. It streams in through the window, washing the room in a dull orange glow, and when you roll over it paints him in it too.

You allow yourself the freedom to indulge every instinct. He does, too. You spend hours there— wrapped in sheets, sometimes slow and searching, other times hard and rough, feeding parts of each other no one else seems to satisfy. He’s practically got you on lock, able to keep you on the edge for what feels like an eternity if he wants, but he always yields in the end. You learn him too, never looking away shyly, making sure he knows just how badly you want to look. You’d probably never leave that bed if you didn’t have to; happy to starve and fade away in his strong arms, the pleasure flooding your body far too tempting to be broken up by things as simple as food or water.

Eventually you get up, and you don’t care about the time. He cooks, and you watch. You try a few times, fucking up so many eggs that he has to go and buy more after one day. You settle on cleaning up if he makes sure the food is edible, and it’s sort of incredible how good he is at it. The smell of bacon quickly becomes a favourite, shaking off that final lull of sleep and post-sex haze.

You call your brother. A different phone every day, but you can hear his voice. He’s happy, safe, and making friends with the kids he’s staying with. You learn the mothers name— the one who was tortured by the Colonel— is Corinne. She talks to you, too. She is everything Sam needs, and tells you how well he’s doing. How much she cares for him, and how she owes you her children’s lives. Her husbands life.

You talk to the Doctor— who also has a name, Zaed. He is kind, and speaks softer than his wife. He tells you he will never be able to repay you and Frank for his life— but he already is. Keeping your brother safe is all you wanted, and he’s doing it.

Sam speaks broken Russian into the phone, with a horrible accent, but he’s learning. He sounds so happy there— a careless happiness you’d never be able to offer him if he was with you. He has to start school, and says he’s nervous, but he’s in the same grade as his best friend, Corinne and Zaed’s kid, Nikolai. You remember his face, how you thought for just a second that he was your brother when you and Frank broke into the sewerage system.

“They said the bus comes to my house and then drops me home! And, on Friday’s they serve pizza!” He told you, and you laugh at how he goes on to recite the rest of the school menu. You haven’t spoken to him since yesterday—his first day, but Corinne said he was so excited that when he came home he immediately fell asleep on the couch.

You can’t go out a whole lot, still playing it safe, but there’s no where you’d rather be. You and Frank spend your days like you had since you met each other— together. Even things you shouldn’t enjoy, like washing dishes or cleaning out the fridge that hadn’t been opened in three months feel good with him. You learn that he reads a lot, admittedly very slowly. You don’t understand how he can spend so much time in one book, absorbing every word and sentence like a sponge. You read how you watch movies— quickly, all at once, needing to know the ending right away.

You want to never leave this place. It seems he has that effect on you. Cementing you to wherever he is, just by hanging around. The trial sneaks up on you, and all the time in the world wouldn’t prepare you for it, but it comes anyways. Frank calls Matt the morning of, making sure everything is squared away. You talk to him too, spending three hours on speaker with him, planning for every possible defence and going over your statements to make sure he has everything he needs. The first few days are boring— long speeches against and for the states defense, along with a multitude of images from crime scenes. On about the fourth day, Matthew calls again, letting you know he’s presenting your evidence next.

Frank watches you like a hawk when it comes to the day, waiting for you to show some kind of sign to what your feeling, but you just sit in front of the TV, head in his lap, waiting for his face to pop up on the screen.

“The trial of the infamous crime boss Robert Gnucci is just minutes away from commencing its fifth and final day, and reports say the State have finalised their investigation and are ready to proceed. The lesser known firm Nelson & Murdock will also be providing statements today, representing an anonymous witness who corroborates the Gnucci’s ties to a multitude of assassinations, assaults, drug rings and extortion around the country. If so, this trial could be the end to New Yorks latest string of organised crime.” The presenter recites, and you close your eyes, focusing on the way Franks hand threads lightly through your hair. “We are now going live to the trial of the century, where lead FBI agent Dinah Madani’s representative Matthew Murdock will present the case against.”

“We don’t have to watch it.” Frank says, his hand still moving through your hair.

“Yeah, we do.”

“Why? Results will be the same at the end. Besides, the jury can take hours. Days.” You turn on your back, looking straight up at him.

“But this is the one that matters, right? This is my stuff— the things I said. I want to hear what the judge says. What… what people say about it.”

“About you.” He reads your mind, and you roll your eyes. “Fuck what they think.”

“Didn’t you care? When all this was happening to you— you didn’t care what people said about you?” He sighs, tugging on your shirt making you sit up. When you shuffle enough, he hooks his arms under you and pulls you into his lap, letting your head rest against his chest.

“This was different for me. I did what I did because I wanted to. I needed to… I needed them dead. It was a choice I made, and at the time nothing else mattered but killing them.” You keep looking at the TV, where Dinah is sitting on the stand, being sworn in. “I knew what people said, the shit they called me. I even read about myself— they put my face in all the papers. I couldn’t avoid it.”

“That didn’t eat at you?”

“I wasn’t in my head. Maybe if it was now, it might of stayed with me. But no, I didn’t give a fuck what people thought.” You nod, burying yourself closer to him. “You shouldn’t either. People will say all kinds of shit for the next few months, but it blows over. It always does. They’ll get some new Avenger, or another gang, and people won’t remember what they were so worried about. People don’t even recognise me anymore.”

“I know you’re right.” You turn your head straight to watch the TV again. “Still. I want to watch.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It goes for hours. Frank listens to Murdock talk for hours on end, so much that he thinks his ears will bleed next time he picks up the phone. There’s case after case, body and body. It’s almost never ending, but you watch the whole thing. Franks not sure if you even blink.

He expects some kind of reaction, seeing the photos of bodies and hearing what Bobby’s lawyers were saying about you. About what you did. Their whole angle was that you acted alone, and that you did what you did because you wanted to. Out of loyalty. It made him even more convinced he should of just killed him where he stood.

Then it’s Murdocks turn, and when it hits 2pm he’s still talking. Frank gets up and leaves you on the couch, figuring it’s been hours since you’d eaten something. He also isn’t sure he could sit and listen to anyone else talk about you like they know you. At least Murdock seemed like he was winning something.

“Frank! It’s over.” You call from the couch, and Frank abandons whatever he was about to make. “They said the jury’s going to decide.”

“Might be days from now. Come eat something.” He encourages.

When you finally drag yourself off the couch and come over to the table, Frank shoves a sandwich in your direction before answering the buzzing phone on the table.

“Yeah?” Your head perks up, eyes wide with hope when he hands the phone to you. “Corinne.”

He watches you talk, pacing up and down the small expanse of the kitchen. You ask about Sam, who’s at school, and he hears something about a soccer team he wants to join. You nearly cry, but hide it well in your voice. Corinne must start asking about the trial because you tell her you’ve been watching all day, but you haven’t heard anything. You look up at him when the call ends, and he can tell it’s not just today that hangs heavy on your shoulders.

“He okay?” Frank asks when you chuck the phone on the counter and run your hands through your hair.

“Amazing. apparently. Wants to play soccer.” You laugh dryly. “I’m such an asshole. I should be happy he’s happy, but all I can think of is how in a months time I’ll rip him away from whatever life he’s made up there.”

“He wants to be with you— where you are. He’ll be okay.”

“No. He… he wants to see me, but he doesn’t want to come back here.” Frank leans forward, dipping his head to look at you.

“He said that?”

“It’s more what he isn’t saying. He wants me to— us to come visit.” You sigh, and shake your head. “I’m not… I’m not his mother. I can’t take him away from that, from that safety net. He’s in school— making friends. He has a life there. A good one, one I didn’t think he’d get a shot at. And the longer I leave him there, the worse it will be when I take him away.”

“Kids are resilient.” Frank offers, and your shoulders slump.

“I don’t want him to have to be. He’s been through enough. I was worried he’d be all kinds of fucked up but he sounds so…happy. Would I really be doing the right thing if I took him back?” Frank has no idea what you’re trying to tell him, and the last thing he would do is tell you what to do with your own brother. Hell, he even likes the kid. “Corinne said… she said that she’d look after him.”

“What?” Frank moves around the table, reaching out for your hand.

“I don’t know how to raise a kid. I don’t even know if I can; but I know I want him to be happy. And safe. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You know that’s all I wanted for him, right?”

“Of course. I know, and you got him out. He is.” He tucks you to his chest, moving to stand between your legs and hold you closer.

“Yeah, he is. He’s happy and safe and playing fucking soccer—“ You choke on a sob, and Franks hands fist in your hair. Like if he tries, he could pull you so close and take it all away. Fix it for you. “I can’t fuck this up for him. I can’t. He can’t come back here.”

“Shh. Shh, you’re okay.” He holds your face, thumbs gently swiping away your tears. “You’re okay.”

“She said he could stay.” Your voice is so small, Frank feels his chest crack at the sound. “Am I selfish if I let him? I… I don’t know how— I’m not his mom. I’m not. I can’t be my mom—“

“Hey. Look at me.” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, but you look. “You are not selfish, and you aren’t his mom.”

“I should act like it though, shouldn’t I? It’s my fault that he—“

“No, it isn’t. I would hate for my kids to of taken that shit on if I wasn’t there for them. You got him out, and kept him safe. All that shit you did? It was worth it. It was fucking worth it. He’s out. And you were always going to figure something out for him, because you’re not selfish.” Your eyes were shut, still blinking out tears. “I’m not gonna lie and say I wouldn’t love to have the kid here. He makes you happy, and he grew on me a little.”

“Really?” You open your eyes, eyebrows knitted together.

“Course he did. But raisin’ a kid— that is a full time gig, and it’s not one you signed up for. My life isn’t one I’d wish on anyone, and especially not for a kid like him.” He feels the wet stain of your tears on his hands, and he bends down to kiss them away. “Baby if you gotta go to him, I understand. My life won’t get less complicated. Yours could.”

“It won’t.” You say, voice strained and feather soft. “And I don’t want it to. If my life being complicated means you’re still in it, I wouldn’t change a thing. I know what I am now. Who I am. And I know I’m not what he needs.”

“You’re family. Nothin’ changes that.” Nodding, your bright red eyes stare up at him, and Frank knows his heart still works, that it’s still beating in his chest but when you look at him like that he swears it isn’t there for a second. “Whatever you choose, I’m with you.”

“Mhmm.” You say, and Frank thinks you’ll keep talking but instead you just kiss him, shutting yourself up. Franks happy to give you the distraction, calming your breathing by taking control, hands cupping your face with a newfound strength, anchoring you both to each other.

He thinks he could spend an eternity here— your mouth was addictive. Constantly surprising him, he could never pick how you would kiss him back. Sometimes it was messy and desperate, teeth and tongue fighting each other, and you’d match him with a strength only you could push him back with. Other times, like now, it was something more. Way more than he deserved, and more than he thought he was capable of giving someone. Full of something golden— something that turned his blood red hot and surging through his veins.

He knew what it was, but up until a few weeks ago he didn’t have the balls to admit it. He knew it was love, probably way earlier than he should of, but all that mattered was he knew it now, and he’d chase it to the ends of the god damn world if he had to.

Your phone buzzed on the table, and you pulled away, tears now dry on your face. Frank looked at it, seeing it wasn’t Murdock calling, but the other guy he worked with.

“Why’s Foggy calling?” You looked up at Frank after grabbing the phone, and Franks stomach dropped.

You answered the phone, listening intently, never taking your eyes off him.

“What are you saying?” You said after a while, sliding out from in front of Frank to start pacing around the table. “What?!”

“What’s he saying?” Frank follows after you but you wave him off, still trying to listen to the rambling on the other end of the line. Even Frank can hear how much he’s talking, even if he can’t decipher a word of it.

“I… okay. Thanks. Tell— yeah. Okay.” Your voice is small, and Frank stops your pacing with his hands, holding your shoulders as he pulls the phone from your ear. Your eyes are wide, staring up at him, showing nothing of what you just heard.

“Tell me what happened.” Frank says into the phone, his voice trained and hard.

“They… Frank, they found him not guilty. Bobby is free.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Stop stalling. Do your fucking job.” You hear Frank in the other room, probably yelling at Matt. You don’t have the heart or the energy to tell him to calm down, and you just try to tune it out to focus on your own phone call.

“You are still there?” Corinne says through the line, snapping your attention back to her.

“Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?” You try your best to keep your voice high, but she seems to read right through it.

“It’s okay. I didn’t know if I should call… I just wish there was something I could do for you.” You can tell why Sam likes her so much.

“Trust me, you are doing more than enough.” You shut the door as Frank starts to talk louder, wanting to distract yourself. “How is he?”

“He’s a little angel. I’m watching him right now, kicking around the ball in the backyard. Him and Nikolai never leave each others side.” If you close your eyes, you can nearly see it. “They’ve been good for each other. I didn’t think either of them would settle so quickly, given… well, you know. But, they seem to have bonded.”

“Hm.” She speaks with such warmth— an open heartedness that you think only comes with being a mother. “I’m glad.”

“You are welcome here anytime, you know. The police said you could come, if you needed to leave the city. We have had no problems, no questions— like nothing had ever happened.” Frank opens the door softly, poking his head in. “If you would feel safer here…”

“Thank you, Corinne. Really. I… I would love that, but I can’t leave Fr— here. I can’t leave everything like it is.” You think if you could see her, she would be giving you a knowing smile.

“Of course.”

“I thought about what you said.” Frank closes the door behind him, walking over to you and sliding his hands around your stomach. “About having Sam stay.”

“You don’t think about that right now. You have to sort out you— please. Don’t worry. He is safe, and happy. The future will come as it is meant to.” Franks head rests on your shoulder, warmth wrapping around you like a blanket. “I will call you later, yes? The boys are hungry and I am worried they’ll eat through my drywall if I don’t feed them.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” Laughing, you feel at least a small weight rise of your chest. “Thank you.”

“Take care of yourselves.” Before you can figure out how she knew Frank was listening, the phone goes dead.

“You done yelling at Matt?” You say, and Frank drags you onto the bed in one tug, the air leaving your lungs as he wraps you into him.

“No.” He grumbles behind your ear. “You alright?”

“No.” He doesn’t say anything, just holds you a little tighter. “Did Matt say—“

“Nothing. He said nothing. Nothing he can do about this.” You squeeze your eyes shut. “You should take her up on it.”

“What?”

“Go to Florida. See Sam.” You try to twist on his arms, but he doesn’t let you budge an inch. “Calm down. I’m not saying forever. But Murdock said—“

“You said he didn’t say anything.” He grumbles something again, words lost in the mess of your hair he’s buried himself in.

“Nothin’ useful. Said you wouldn’t be safe in New York, and if it was up to him, he’d get you out of here until he can appeal.”

“We talked about this. I want to be wherever you are. I can handle myself.”

“I know, baby. I know that. You don’t need a babysitter. Which is why you should go to Florida.”

This time, he lets you roll over, faces almost touching. His eyes are closed, and no matter how many times you’ve seen him this close you still find it just as intriguing. Like a marble statue, the urge to reach out and run your fingers over his skin is too tempting, brushing over the scars on his cheek.

“What will you do? Will you come with me?” He keeps his eyes closed, his jaw relaxing under your soft touches.

“Yeah. I’ll come when it’s done.” You furrow your eyebrows, and he opens his eyes like he senses it. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“When it’s done?” You know what he means. It’s exactly like him— to think he has to do this. To take this loss on his shoulders, to think that he needs to do it. To fix this. “Frank—“

“Stop.” He says softly, but his face is hard. “I never should of let this go. Should of finished it in Washington.”

“That wasn’t up to you, and it’s not now. Whatever you’re thinking of doing…”

“You know what I’m doing. I’m doing the one thing that we both know will end this. The one thing that I know works.” You swallow hard.

“You’re gonna kill him.” Frank doesn’t nod, but he watches your face for your reaction. “Why would I need to go to Florida?”

“You can’t be anywhere near here. If Madani finds out, and she will— you need an alibi that isn’t me.”

“You’ve actually thought this through.” He laughs dryly, then leans forward to kiss you quickly.

“Don’t look so surprised.” Frank’s hands run down your body, his eyes tracking, watching the way you shiver when his rough hands graze over skin. Finding your hips, he tugs you closer, and you swing your leg over his torso languidly. Hair falls in front of your face that he dutifully tucks behind your ears, thumb tracing your eyebrow. “Do this for me, and let me do this for you.”

Now he’s below you, your own hands drift to his shoulders. He holds your hips, thumbs rubbing circles onto places they’ve become so familiar with its nearly impossible to remember a time they didn’t belong to him. Like he’s etched himself there, shadows of his hands always waiting for him to come home.

“I’ll pack tomorrow.” You say, and he tugs you down, kissing you hungrily. You give— let him lead you like he does so well. You know what you’re residing to, what he’s going to do. It’s what he was doing before he found you, and what he’s probably going to do for the rest of his life.

He wants this, by the way he’s moving your hips and groaning into your mouth, the answer you gave him is the one he wants. It goes against what your logical mind is shouting at you— that he’s putting himself in danger for you, again. He groans again when your hands tug on his hair.

He wants this, you hear in your brain again. He wants this. He was who he was— you’d never change Frank, and you didn’t want to. He was a protector, a brick wall you’d put your shoulder out trying to break down. He was hard and stubborn, shattered and glued back together a million times over, and when he wanted something, he did everything he could to get it. He wanted this— to do this for you. Take care of you. It was a part of him that would probably get him killed, but it also happened to be a part you treasured with everything you had. The part that made you feel safe.

“Good girl.” He says lowly, voice vibrating through you. The words make you both smile, then he pulls you underneath him and you’re lost again, and nothing else matters.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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hiraeth-witch-11 · 1 year

Text

Bond to Happen Part 9

Part 9: Game Night with Billy

Warnings: fantastical racism, shitty controlling laws, Billy Russo

Word Count: 4300ish

Author's note: I'm 50k words into the rough draft and needed to share some fluff with yall to make up for all the angst that I've been writing. To make sure everyone's aware, Billy Russo is a warning throughout this story for a reason. He is still canon adjacent. If you have questions or want to check and make sure the direction of this story won't be triggering for you, feel free to message me. This chapter is mostly fluff though so enjoy.

You become increasingly close with Billy, speeding past a working relationship and sliding right into a friendship like you had with Frank or Karen. It actually concerned you how much you trusted him. To be fair, he’d never broken that trust. He only ever exceeded your expectations as a boss and a friend. Sometimes you start to think that maybe there is some weight to Karen’s words. Maybe Billy did care about you in more than the perfunctory way a boss cares for their employee, or a casual friend cares about another friend.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, throwing your phone across the room and onto the bean bag in your office. A knock on the door has you wiping tears off your cheeks quickly. “Come in,” you try to say clearly.

“You okay?” Billy asked grinning before the smile dropped from his face. “Hey, what’s wrong sweetheart?”

“They repealed the Witch’s Right to Privacy act, effective immediately.” You try to keep the emotion from your voice.

“Shit, Blue, I’m sorry,” Billy said sincerely, closing the door behind him.

“It’s so stupid, their definition of witch doesn’t even make sense. It is so fucking subjective, there’s so much variation in biology and brain chemistry that it’s impossible to separate witches from fucking differentials! And that title makes the difference between having the freedom to exist?” Welp, so much for staying calm.

“Go on,” Billy encourages your rant, sitting down on the rocking chair next to your bean bag.

“Now anyone can ask about magic use and witches have to answer. Not only that, but choices based on magic usage or suppressants or binding are going to go straight back to the states. Anyone who wants a witch trophy wife can submit their blood to the Witch Bureau of Investigation and if they match and have a certain income level and record, they can petition to marry them without the witch’s consent under the Guardian Law. Fucking Alabama had trigger laws in place and are already preparing to make mandatory binding for any witch who has committed a ‘magic based infraction’ unless they bond themselves to a government approved guardian!”

“What does ‘magic based infraction’ even mean?” Billy asks incredulously, prompting you to continue.

“Nothing! It is purposely vague and left up to the states and courts to really define. If a witch uses magic and a normie sees them and feels ‘unsafe’, even if the witch was minding their own business, that can be considered human harassment. But the vamps are still feeding in public, wolves shift and fight in broad daylight, and incubi seduce at fucking Starbucks, and all of that is okay. It’s the fucking sexism of the term ‘witch’ and the classism of the ageless that has all of this happening. Next thing you know, they are going to start burning us again.” You swallow sobs as tears start dripping from your cheeks. Billy jumps up and crosses the room to you, hands fluttering around like he wants to hug you, but isn’t sure how you’d receive it. He clenches his fists at his sides and says,” I will never let that happen, Blue. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe. You are not alone in this.”

His brown eyes are so dark and intense that they flash black, catching your gaze and trapping it with his own. You feel the urge to reach out and touch him, to ground yourself. You want to let him make you feel safe in more ways than one. Instead, you choose to shove your hands into your back pockets to help you resist the temptation.

“Thank you, Billy, that means a lot to me.”

“Of course, sweetheart. You wanna take the rest of the day off?”

“Don’t you need me?” You ask, wiping your face once again. You want to stay, but you’re just so tired and crying has given you a headache. “We don’t have anything time sensitive to do today. Go home, watch a movie, take some time for yourself.”

*********

“Frank, what do you think about me inviting Russo to game night?” You spontaneously ask one Thursday afternoon. Finishing your reports early in the day, you’d decided to hang out in Frank’s office for a bit, waiting for him to head out with you to game night at Matt’s apartment.

“I don’t know, kid. You can try, but he’ll probably say no,” Frank says without looking up from his laptop.

You bounce the ball from your hand to the wall again.

“Would you be okay if I did, though, even if it’s just in the spirit of inclusion?”

“Sure, kid. But I’m betting he gives you a hard pass. Can you even picture him sitting down and playing a board game? I don’t think he’s done it in years.” Frank gives a dismissive laugh. For whatever reason, it bothers you. Billy is probably the closest thing Frank has to family, besides Curtis. Sometimes you worry that underneath the charm and confidence, Russo might be lonely. You knew he didn’t have any blood family, at least not that he ever talks about, so you felt the urge to include him in your little found family.

“What do I get if he agrees to come?” You say, not really thinking through your plan. Frank finally looks up from his computer, face contemplative.

“If you can get him to actually show up and stay, for at least an hour, you can choose the music when we drive down to the new training site next week.”

“The whole drive? No complaining?” You’re invested now, Frank never let you pick the music for anything and this site was maybe 2 or so hours away.

“I reserve the right to complain a little bit, but yeah, whole trip up. But-” he pauses, building suspense. “If he says no, or if he doesn’t stay for at least an hour, you start self defense training and I pick the music.”

You grimace, you’d been avoiding self defense training like the plague. Matt had gotten on you about it first when he realized that your only defense in a dangerous situation was your limited supply of magic. You’d wiggled your way out of that conversation, promising not to be more careful and repeating that you didn’t really put yourself in harm’s way that often anymore. Frank had been appalled when he found out that could barely throw a solid punch and couldn’t disarm an attacker without your abilities. You’d told him the same thing you’d told Matt, but he hadn’t left it alone. He was always trying to get you to join his work outs and trainings with newer recruits. You kept making up excuses to avoid it. You hate the idea of willingly practicing how to hurt people, though you know it was mainly to keep you from getting hurt.

“I will do 2 training sessions,” you counter.

“8, minimum. And if you cancel one, we add on 2.” He won’t budge on this, that determined look on his face makes it clear.

“Fine, but I want DJ rights to and from the site and while training if it’s just you and me.”

Frank considers, weighing his options. “Deal, Blue.”

“Deal,” you agree, reaching out a hand to shake on it. Frank almost looks surprised, but he recovers quickly and firmly shakes your hand. His aura has been a lot more comfortable since he stopped dropping bodies on a regular basis. Death would always be part of it, but these days it was a small part he didn’t access often. You couldn’t believe how far you’d come when it came to physical contact with your friends and coworkers. Your control while choosing to touch someone was excellent the majority of the time. Others touching you without warning… that was a different story.

You stand, preparing to make your way to Billy’s office. After working next to him for so long, you were pretty familiar with his routine and doubt he was very busy right now.

“Good luck, kid,” Frank chuckles and you resist the urge to make a face at him.

You continue tossing the rubber ball back and forth between your hands as you walk down the hallway. Billy’s door is closed and he has the yellow sign up which usually means he’s focusing, but can be interrupted for work related issues. Green is a go ahead for anyone to stop by if they knock first. If the door is open, you can just walk in. If orange is up, it had better be time sensitive or an emergency. If it’s red, don’t interrupt unless it’s life or death.

You hesitate at the sight of that little yellow sign, but his blinds are up so you can see into the office. He’s hunched over his desk, making notes on a yellow pad of paper while glancing at his computer. Before you can walk away, having decided to wait until later to disturb him, he looks up and smiles at you, standing up and opening the door.

“Hey sweetheart, did you need something?” He asks.

“It’s not work related so it can wait since you're busy,” you insist.

“I was almost done anyway,” he says, tucking his hands into his suit pants pockets and leaning a shoulder against the door frame. “What’s up?”

“Karen, Frank, Matt, Foggy and I have a game night almost every Thursday night. I was wondering if you wanted to join us?” You ask quickly. You’re a little nervous and Russo’s eyes are always so distracting. Billy looks surprised and his aura wraps around you, brightening with some sort of positive feeling.

“Frankie plays board games with Matt Murdock? Willingly?”

You frown at his tone, nodding. “Frank comes at least once a month, but usually more if he’s not busy. It’s not like they’re besties or anything, but they’re civil and it’s funny to watch.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know, Blue. It’s not really my scene.” There’s a touch of mischief in his eyes.

“Come on, Billy, it’ll be fun. We’ll have some chocolate cake from one of Matt and Foggy’s clients.” You hope the desert will sweeten the deal as you had long suspected that William Russo had a sweet tooth.

“I do like cake,” he says, tilting his head as he thinks about it. “But I don’t know if cake is enough of an incentive for me to spend the evening playing monopoly.”

“Today we’re playing Risk,” you correct quietly before blurting, “What would be enough of an incentive?”

His eyes darken slightly and his aura shifts slightly, it’s still good energy though, so you think you have a chance to get your way. You continue to look up at him with your earnest, often blue eyes.

“You and I haven’t really spent any time outside of Anvil together. I’d like to get to know you better. Learn more about what you’re like when you aren’t working,” he says. It surprises you, something so simple. You honestly would agree even without game night on the line.

“I’d be okay with that,” you say slowly. “What do you have in mind?”

“Let me plan an… outing of some sort, just us. We can hang out and swap stories,” he suggests.

“An outing?” you question.

“Yeah, we could go to a museum or the zoo-” you perk up a bit when he mentions the zoo “-nothing crazy and I’ll make sure it won’t be too crowded when we go. Scouts honor.” He grins.

“You were never a boy scout, Russo,” you scoff teasingly.

“I coulda been,” he says, mock pouting.

“I accept your terms, but the simpler the better, yeah?”

“Of course,” he confirms.

“Alright, then. I’ll text you the address and see you there at 7?” You ask.

“Sure thing, Blue. Do I need to bring anything?”

“No, we’re all set.” You smile genuinely.

After work, you stop by your apartment to take a quick shower and change. While you wear clothes you like to Anvil, you still do your best to keep it business casual. Stepping out of your shower, you towel dry yourself off before pulling on panties, leggings, your trusty sports bra, and a slightly cropped oversized t-shirt from college. Comfortable, more or less covering as much skin as you could stand with the weather tonight, and unrestricting of your movement. You throw on some tennis shoes and shove your keys, wallet, mace, and Sight journal (just in case you needed it) into a light pink canvas bag.

You bike over to Matt’s place, enjoying the gentle breeze as you speed through the streets. Biking was one of your favorite activities, especially after it was blessed for you by a priestess of Hermes. Since then, it went faster with less effort and never seemed to break down. You know better than to leave it on the street and instead drag it upstairs with you. Matt lets you leave it in his entryway while you’re over.

“How’s the alter ego?” You ask Matt, noticing how he favors his right side.

“A bit bruised, but not too bad,” he shares honestly.

“At least it’s not his face this time,” Karen says from the couch.

“Still can’t believe how long we fell for the ‘I’m just clumsy’ act,” Foggy snickers.

“Frank texted the group chat that he’s on his way,” you tell Matt, falling onto the couch next to Karen. She lifts a hand to ruffle your hair lovingly.

“I heard that a certain Mr. Russo will be joining us tonight,” Karen announces in a sing-song voice.

“Oh?” Foggy says in poorly feigned surprise.

“I should’ve asked everyone first, but you always say I can bring a friend from work so …” you trail off.

“So you pick Russo?” Matt says with just a touch of judgment.

“Hey, you weren’t a fan of Frank coming at first either. I expect your best behavior, Matthew,” Foggy instructs. “We wouldn’t want to ruin his first Purple Squad Game Night experience.”

Both you and Karen groan at him in exasperation. “Stop trying to make up a new name everytime we do this, Foggy. Y’all are Team Red, and Frank and I are bonus members. Plus, I hate purple.”

“No you don’t Blue, you love lavender and lilac and -” Karen starts listing before you interrupt.

“Yeah yeah, I like some shades, but dislike purple overall. Motion to officially veto Purple Squad as a team name?”

“Seconded.”

“Thirded.”

“Sorry Fog, keep trying,” Matt says.

“Don’t encourage him!” you laugh as a knock on the door sounds through the room.

Karen jumps up from her seat, always eager to see Frank. “I’ll get it!”

“Frank, Billy come on in,” she says as she opens the door.

“Russo.” “Murdock.” Matt and Billy greet each other with a nod.

Foggy is much friendlier. “Russo! We’ve heard so much about you. I’m gonna need you to share at least one embarrassing Frank story tonight.”

“I’m sure only half of it is true. And sure, I’ll see what I can do,” Billy grins.

“You made it!” You’re not sure why you’re surprised, Billy has always kept his word with you.

“Of course, especially after Frank tried so hard to get me to stay home,” he says, flashing a look at an unashamed Castle.

“That’s cheating, Frank!” You exclaim.

“We never set any rules of engagement, Blue, it’s nothing personal.” Frank shrugs his shoulders and sinks down onto the armchair.

You flush and force a glare at him.

“What’s all this about?” Karen asks.

“A bet, I’ll tell you the details later, Kare,” you promise.

“Shouldn’t I get to know what the bet was since it was about me?” Russo sits down next to you on the main couch, close enough to touch, but far enough away to be polite. He’s wearing a navy t-shirt, gods you didn’t realize how toned his arms were- and you decide that navy is your new favorite color.

“No.” You and Frank say simultaneously and you force yourself to look away.

Foggy sets up the board for Risk and starts dealing cards as the rest of you fight over which color you’ll be.

“Red,” Matt says, holding out his hand. Karen is kind enough to allow it before the rest of you devolve into chaos.

“Common, Kare, my name is literally Blue, you can’t make me do a different color.”

“I told you Frankie, I got dibs on black and you can have gray. Trying to distract me isn’t gonna work.”

“You’re always blue, though, switch with me this once, pleeeeasssse.”

“Matt’s always red, which is your favorite color, and you never fight him for it, Kare!”

“That’s cuz he’s the leader of Team Red, you can’t make him a different color,” Foggy chimes in.

“You sure about that, Russo?” Frank questions, eyes locked into a staring contest with Billy as everyone’s voices overlap.

“I’ll make you donuts from scratch next week for game night if you let me stay as blue,” you bargain. Karen hesitates, but finally agrees.

“Hey Blue, you okay?” Frank asks, sounding concerned. Billy’s head jerks to look at you at the same moment Frank swipes the back of black pieces from the table.

“Huh?” You reply, unsure why he’s asking, too focused on organizing your pieces to notice his interaction with Billy. “I’m good.”

“My bad, Blue. Musta been a trick of the light,” Franks says while smirking at Russo.

“I’ll get you back for that one, Frankie,” Billy warns as he accepts the gray pieces.

Karen chooses green and Foggy gets yellow, his new favorite color ever since you told him about his aura.

After the initial bickering over colors, the game starts smoothly, though you quickly realize your pieces are in terribly inconvenient places according to what land the cards assigned you.

“There is no way I can win, Matt,” you insist.

“It can’t be that bad,” Matt says before you verbally list everywhere you are positioned. Game night with Matt could be tricky sometimes, but all of you had gotten good at keeping things accessible and finding ways around any difficulties. It helped that Matt’s senses picked up quite a bit and he had an excellent memory.

“I guess it can be that bad,” he agrees, quickly changing his tune.

“Don’t even think about it, babe,” Karen warns, predicting your change in tactics.

“I have no idea what you mean, KareBear,” you reply sweetly as you fortify what little space you have, choosing not to attack for the round. She continues to watch you suspiciously as everyone cycles through their turns.

“Come on, Bill! You can’t just keep attacking me. That’s a terrible way to win,” Frank laments.

Billy shrugs, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

After Billy, it’s your turn again. You’ve continued to fortify your ranks the whole game, rarely attacking and instead focusing on defense. You grin to yourself.

“I see that, Blue. Don’t do it,” Foggy pleads.

“Don’t look at me, you got me last time,” Karen scolds.

“What are we worried about here?” Billy questions, he doesn’t have experience with how you play games like this. You shake your head threateningly at Karen and Foggy, but Matt answers for them.

“Blue is a bit of a sore loser-”

”Am not!”

“And will decide that if they can’t win, they’re going to bring someone else down with them before they’re fully out of the game,” Matt continues, ignoring your interruption. “It’s why we usually stick to things like Monopoly, Scrabble, and Life.”

“Sore loser, huh?” Billy asks and Matt nods with a grin.

“I’m not, I’m totally fine losing,” you insist.

“Is that why you almost never win?” Frank jibes.

“Hey! Rude!”

“Don’t worry, Russo, as long as you haven’t done anything to annoy her today, you should be safe,” Foggy says. Billy’s still suppressing a grin and you’re practically pouting at this point.

“To be transparent, I picked my target before we started the game. I’m sorry, Frank. Roll for defense,” You say, tossing him the die. You continue to attack with every space you have, focusing on Frank.

“Common, kid. Have a little mercy, Bill’s already been pickin’ on me all night. How am I supposed to defend against both of you?”

“Mercy has no place in board games, Frank.” You use the last of your available troops to finish your attack. You made good headway through Frank’s territories, but now all it will take is someone choosing to swoop in after you and claim both yours and Frank’s significantly weakened remaining spots.

Frank is quickly eliminated, followed by you, then Foggy and Matt. Karen emerges victorious against Billy which garners a round of applause.

The game is put away and Karen brings out the cake and some plates. The 6 of you eat and talk for a couple hours after finishing the game.

“No, soulmates don’t exist,” Foggy scoffs. “Do they?”

You aren’t sure how they got into this topic, something about exes and the right person at the wrong time.

“The idea of a singular perfect soulmate is far-fetched, but Occult scientists have found a ton of evidence supporting the idea of highly compatible partners. It’s actually really interesting once you get into it. There are a lot of different types commonly found and most of the time, people don’t even realize it,” Karen explains.

“It’s true,” you support. “I don’t see all of the different types of bondmates, but sometimes people’s energy or aura are obviously connected or complimentary.”

“Bondmates?” Billy asks, angling his body towards you as he leans back and rests his arm behind you on the couch. You try not to think about how close he is as his energy surrounds your own.

“Soulmate is a bit of a misnomer as souls are rarely what connects two people, that’s usually seen in reincarnation cycles, though it’s hard to track. Most scientists use the term bondmate for people who are ‘destined’ or what have you, to be partners.”

“Why bondmate and not something else?” Foggy asks, taking a sip of his beer.

“With the idea of soulmates, people kind of assume that those people will be together and are instantly connected, yeah? But it actually works differently, it’s a choice to connect yourself to your partner. There has to be some sort of acknowledgement or ritual to form that bond, and it can often take time. But once a bond is fully formed, only death can break it,” you expound.

“That’s so fucking cool,” Foggy says in amazement.

“Where’d you learn all this, Blue?” Frank asks.

“My bachelor’s is in occult biology with a minor in occult psychology and another in general sociology,” you offer.

“She’s super smart when you get to know her,” Karen says both sincere and teasing.

“Hey, I feel like there’s an insult somewhere in there,” you say without offense.

“I knew you went to college, but I don’t think you ever mentioned what you studied,” Foggy says.

“I don’t talk about it a lot and the degree is pretty useless right now,” you shrug, tone souring slightly before you catch it and add on, “But it’s not like I know all this witch stuff just from the internet.”

“I, for one, always knew she was brilliant,” Frank states and you’re suspicious that he’s just sucking up to you after you demolished him in Risk.

“You’re hilarious, Castle,” you scoff, feeling yourself blush at the praise.

“I agree with Frankie,” Billy says.

“Hear, hear!” Foggy says.

“Castle isn’t wrong,” Matt grumbles.

“To the magical mastermind that is Blue. She’s saved our lives more times than I can count,” Karen raises her glass, smiling at you. The others follow suit and you flush bright red.

“I’ll accept the title of Magical Mastermind, but the rest is true about most of us. Gods, it’s a wonder we’re all still alive with how much we attract trouble.” You shake your head with a disbelieving smile.

******

Billy had spent most of the night trying not to stare too obviously, but you were making it very difficult. Everytime you moved to reach the board, your shirt would lift, revealing an additional few inches of your side and back. He resisted the urge to trace his fingertips across your skin and hoped the longing wasn’t too evident on his face. But his best friend paid attention and would likely give him shit about it tomorrow, but Billy didn’t care. Before he had first officially met you, Frank had warned him to watch himself. Frank made it clear that Billy was not to make any moves on you, and there was a seriousness to his tone that made Billy pay attention. Refusing to give any details, Frank only said that you’d been through a lot and strongly suggested that Billy refrain from touching you, even accidentally, and that he keep his flirting to a minimum.

The little Frank said, combined with how Billy observed the way you held yourself around men you were unfamiliar with, tense and forcing friendliness while your heart rate jumped, he could fill in some of the blanks. So he listened to Frank and went a few steps further, always making sure someone you trusted or were at least comfortable with was there when you did readings or site checks. He constantly watched for anything that might upset you and was unsettled to notice Harding’s attentions. Billy forced himself not to react over the little visits, but when he’d been in his office and felt the lust coming off Harding from your office, he was quick to act. He’d taken care of Harding after that, leaving him alive, but a shell of a man. Harding would never threaten another woman ever again. Billy wasn’t ashamed to be glad of the edge Harding had unwittingly given him by presenting a situation where Billy could prove he would keep you safe. It was probably one of the only reasons he’d been left alive.

Tonight, Billy appreciated how far he’d come in earning your trust.

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yomogi-mogi-mochi · 1 year

Text

Spolia (II)

Parings: Malleus/(Light Fae) MC // Slight Rook/Vil // MC (Parental)

Summary: You wondered why you ever got accepted into NRC but never bothered to look back when the infamous black carriage whisked you away from a place you could never call home. Having been handed an opportunity of freedom, of solitude, of hope- how come you're paralyzed with fear rather than excitement? Your sunny plein air sessions and nightly walks contemplating this has attracted a certain dragon fae with an affinity for your nimble gargoyle sketches and magnificent paintings.

Notes: Comments and feedback always appreciated! Also don’t know if I mentioned but English is not my native language so please bear with me I’m translating everything from my native tongue to English

CW: Physical/Verbal Abuse, panic attack, dissociation

AO3 Link Here

Part 1 // Part 2 (Here) // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7

Masterlist

———————————————————

Though you only had a bit of experience in graphic design, the poster seemed to be coming along well. The weekend allowed for some extra time, so all that was left was to hand it off to either Rook or Vil, and considering your family’s relationship with Vil’s own, you decided to find the Vice Dorm leader to lessen your future anxiety for the day.

Blowing off the loose specks of gold leaf from the poster, you carefully slipped your poster into a portfolio folder.

Ah can’t forget…

Opening a small chest on top of your dresser, you revealed a bottle of dark, viscous liquid. Already feeling a phantom bitterness on your tongue, you prepared yourself for the daily dose of the tincture that sealed your identity away from the world‒ far far away from the oh so brilliant reputation of the D’aramitz name. After dropping a bit onto your tongue, you nearly jumped at the cup or water sitting on your nightstand, forcing down the searing pain with it. Your wings drooped down a bit, the color from your cheeks fading along with the little energy you had this morning.

Squeezing your hands and digging your nails into your flesh palms, breathe, breathe, breathe , you repeated in your head, choking down the heaviness that the potion usually weighed you down with. Your hands automatically began to work in trained movements from wig, hood, and headphones, before dragging on a pair of your painting pants and apron to head out to the alchemy lab where the science club had their meetings. The sooner you got this done, the sooner you could work on the gargoyle piece that you had started the underpainting for.

———————————————————

“Ah (Name) good to see you, what brings you here?”

The Science club seemed busy as usual, each student focused on their own individual experiments, from agriculture, alchemy, to more explosive projects‒ the room was bustling with magical energy. Professor Crewel stood, greeting you with a pleasant smile, next to Professor Trein.

“H-hello Professor Crewel, Professor Trein” you bowed lightly “I was wondering if you knew where Rook was? I need to hand him off something…”

“L’artiste en folie! A pleasure to see you as always. What can I do for you?” Your Vice Dorm leader seemed to pop out of nowhere, raising his safety goggles smeared with what appeared to be smog or dirt of some sort.

Right on cue as always.

“I came to hand you‒“

Your phone rang obnoxiously throughout the lab. Cursing internally, you gave a quick apology and turned away from the three, your stomach sinking at the sight of the contact that appeared on the screen. What a week you were having. Maybe you needed to be checked for curses or something.

“Hello mother. How are you?”

“You have an offer for a magazine cover featuring a new skincare company Father and I have been discussing purchasing. I’m sending you the date and time. You will be picked up from school .”

Ah no I’m doing absolutely great thanks for asking. No, please make this conversation more pleasant than it already is

“Of course. Thanks mother.” You said curtly, hoping it would shorten this already unbearable interaction. Before you could finish however, your mother interrupted you.

“How many times do I have to tell you to be attentive in your word choice?! It’s ‘thank you’!! Thank you, mother!! “

“Yes mother. Thank you, mother.”

“I did not raise such an insolent child! You better not be behaving so nonsensically at that school, child. Otherwise you know what you’re bringing onto yourself .”

“Yes mother.”

That cold, dark room. Nothing, nothing, nothing. The darkness that swallowed your arms, your legs, your voice, your chest, your eyes. In that inky abyss, you were merely a pile of nerves ‒ maybe even less‒ threatening to disappear. You wish you could, but the thought of being eaten whole by that darkness with no remnants of yourself left in the world often confirmed that you did have a beating heart‒ thump thump thump fluttering against your empty chest. Perhaps it was instinctual for a light fae. But most conscious beings feared death. Being forgotten, forever.

“Tainting the D’aramitz name, spouting such idiocy. When will you stop behaving this way?! Has the devil possessed you to act so foolishly?! Do you understand what is at stake here??”

“Yes mother.”

“You behave as I taught you? Understood?”

“Yes mother.”

“Oh, and (Name)?”

Great seven what else is there??

You could feel the bile burning the back of your throat, as your trained senses immediately numbed your body to the venom spat at you. A muddy stillness spread from your heaving chest, to your shoulders, head, arms, and then to the tips of your shaking hands. You noticed you had been gripping your portfolio, bending the plastic which formed to your clenching fist. With the numbness finally rushing to the palms of your hands, you let the portfolio drop, feeling the eyes behind you turn to your back when it slumped over with a thud.

“Yes mother?”

“Don’t be late. And make sure to secure a meeting with them for us. God knows you need a reminder.”

Before you could answer her, she hung up. You stared at the reflection on your blank screen, gazing far into your eyes to look for a semblance of a real person within them. Remaining frozen for a second, you wondered what sort of face you should pull your muscles into for the three behind you.

Your phone vibrated, showing a text from your mother.

"October 20. 3pm. Don't be late ."

Ah great of course the day of the culture festival. Yup that's fine. Totally fine with that, absolutely. Just have to rearrange my entire schedule for that day, no big deal! Not like I'm the president of a club or anything! Or that I promised the Diasmonia dorm leader, literal heir to the throne, I would visit his booth on that day. No this is fine, totally fine.

Definitely needed to be checked for curses.

“Apologies. Vice Dorm leader, I’ve just come to pass this onto you. Sorry for the dent. The contents inside are okay though.” You peered inside the portfolio, confirming that your poster was okay.

Rook raised his hand to pause you mid sentence. The sudden movement made you heart jump out of your chest, and you tried your hardest to maintain your expression as your shoulders twitched slightly. From your peripherals, you observed your professors, seeing if they noticed. You internally cringed at Trein’s unreadable expression .

At least Crewel seemed unbothered

“No apologies needed L’artiste en folie! Thank you for your time. I won’t keep you here now, I’m sure you have important things to do.” Rook hummed excitedly as he turned to return to his project. You were glad he was such an easy going person.

“I-I’m going to excuse myself now. Have a good day, Professor Trein, Professor Crewel.” You bowed again, grabbing the rest of your supplies before darting to the exit.

“You too puppy.”

“You as well, Mx.D’aramitz… be safe. ”

You’ve never dreaded such kind words from your professor.

———————————————————

Malleus sat at his desk once more, reading over and over the intricate annotations left in the chapter of this book. Since his encounter with the book, he had taken several trips to the library, checking out some readings on the same topic, holding a sliver of hope that it would encounter the same dainty handwriting written in crimson ink.

He wondered if he could use these during his presentation for the cultural festival. Or even buy the sketches off of them. But to do that he had to hunt down this mystery person first.

Maybe he could ask that president…

Deciding to get some fresh air after being cooped up in his room reading all day, he slipped the book into the inner pocket of his uniform- the closest one to his heart- heading out for his daily walk. The sun was beginning to set soon, staining the dusty blue sky with a vibrant orange. Surely there would be less students out late on a day before school began again.

The cool October wind felt good in his lungs. He strolled to the side of the Diasmonia dormitory, holding up the sketches in the book to find its similar match to identify the type of gargoyle. He had found one, tucked on top of the column of the clerestory*. Holding the sketch up to the statue, he imagined a rainy day, water sprouting from its mouth like in the sketch. Satisfied, he placed the drawing back carefully into its original page, walking further to see if he could spot the second one this different sketch depicted, however, he was met with the sight of a body curled on the lawn near the dorm at the foot of an easel holding a canvas with a cloth draped on top of it. Cautiously walking up to the form, he noticed that he recognized the figure sprawled out on the grass.

What a troublesome president…

He peered at your face, checking to see if you were awake. Not yet. His gaze was pulled to the stained drapery hanging on the giant canvas. keeping his viridian hues fixed on the covered artwork, his hand slowly reached to uncover what was beneath. Though he felt the muscles of his arms stretch to drift his hand closer and closer to the drapery, Malleus could not break away from the phantom force that sucked his body towards the uncovered painting.

He rolled the rough fabric between his fingers. The steady drumming of his heart slowed as he let a ghostly breath out from his lips.

“Mn…? Did I fall asleep again..?”

He jerked away from the canvas as if it had scorched his fingertips, and quickly turned to see you rising from your position, resuming a calm expression. You rubbed your eyes with your paint stained fingers, letting out a yawn while stretching your arms into the air, rolling the ache from your neck.

“I see that you were awake.”

Your eyes shot up to him.

“Oh! I’m sorry, just give me a second to gather my things and I’ll leave. Sorry for falling asleep on your lawn. The sun just felt so nice today.” You pushed yourself up with your knee, ignoring the purple splotches in your vision as the blood rushed to your head and gathering your supplies in your leather bag.

“It’s not a problem, child of man. I appreciate you attempting to capture the beauty of our dormitory. It’s quite a masterpiece I would say, I’m quite fond of it myself.” The radiant smile on his lips brought the same warmth to your cheeks.

“I agree! It’s a shame that the students here don’t appreciate it enough! I constantly tell my fellow club members to come here for plein air sessions!”

“Plein…air?”

“Ah! S-sorry. It’s just a fancy way of saying sketching or painting outside.”

He definitely thinks you’re pretentious now

“That’s interesting. I’ve never heard of that term before.” Malleus picked up your canvas and easel that you were struggling to balance in your arms. His expression urged you to go on further. Though you were surprised, excitement hummed in your bones.

“Ah! Thank you, you don’t have to…but the term was coined in the 19th century during the impressionist movement. Monet, Cezzanne, Renoir, Cassat…Any of those artists who paint in thick, noticeable strokes. Colorful too.”

“Impressionist..Hm. The only name that comes to mind is Van Gogh.”

“You’re right! But he belongs more to the symbolist or post impressionist movement! More religious, and metaphorical, the impressionists before that actually appealed to a frivolous higher class, despite the way people depict it. Impressionism is all about frivolity. I prefer the post impressionists. Van Gogh was actually a very spiritual man."

A beat. Maybe I've said too much-

“Hm intriguing, child of man. Tell me more.”

You felt your wings tucked inside your jacket flutter a bit at his words. Side by side, you continued your walk back to your dorm.

———————————————————

Your friendship with the Diasmonia dorm leader developed during your nightly walks back to your dorm. He insisted on escorting you every time, because it was “dangerous for a child of man such as yourself.”

You felt the guilt settle in your stomach every time he laughed at something you said, urged you to continue dumping information onto him, or simply smiled when greeting you. He even got you a tamagotchi to match with his, just because it had come up in conversation that you had never had a chance to keep one, because your older sibling had taken it away from you. He was so gentle, so kind, and you were lying to his face while having the audacity to indulge in his attention, his words, his warmth. This feeling accumulated as you remembered you still had not shown him any of your paintings, despite his continued interest.

“I actually suck at painting, haha. It’s not anything worth looking at.”

Every time he had asked about seeing you work, you dismissed it with that. Seeing his dejected expression after you had distanced him with just two sentences, a knot tangled itself in your chest. It was confusing, feeling a sting of pain every time he smiled, but also feeling a similar ache when you attempted to ease that guilt that weighed itself on your heart and watched his face fall into a disappointed expression.

This is what you want, right? Keeping him at a safe distance, away from your lies. Then why, why, does it hurt? Why ?

I don’t understand

It never hurt with mother, nor did it hurt with your father, or elder sibling. You kept the shameful parts of your identity far, far, away from them. What’s wrong with you? Why did it hurt so much with Malleus? What was so special about him? Was it because he was fae too? Were you feeling some sort of kinship with him because of your species? Perhaps it was worth looking into on your nightly walk after the cultural festival ends.

You turned to your suitcase, full of various potions, vials or skincare, and make up and wardrobe items.

Vil would definitely be proud.

The clock read 2:30. Might as well head early to avoid a scolding from your mother.

Heaving your suitcase out of your room and down the stairs, You headed towards the hall of mirrors where your mother had promised to pick you up personally. How touching.

You really wished you had paid more attention in your practical magic class. You thought as you dragged your suitcase through the hallway.

But then, you wouldn’t have met Malleus. A rush of endorphins tingled your spine. You weren’t sure if it was anxiety, or something else.

I don’t understand.

“Mx.D’aramitz? Shouldn’t you be preparing for your club activities for the cultural festival?”

You jumped at the steely voice behind you. “P-professor Trein! I was just…I have permission from Headmage Crowley because I have…uh…family business I must attend to. My club members are sufficient enough to set up the rest of the gallery for today…I left notes just in case…”

“I see. In that case I’ll help you at least carry this. You’re in the art club?” Trein levitated the suitcase with ease, holding the door for you before entering on his own.

“Ah, yes. I’m actually the president, so if possible I wouldn’t leave at a time like this…”

Malleus’ disappointed face appeared in your head. He would surely be, after you made a promise to visit his club…Perhaps if you weren’t too tired tomorrow you would stop by.

“…however when family duty calls, I can’t refuse.”

Trein fixed a softened gaze towards you.

Pity.

You could feel it swimming in his eyes.

Please don’t look at me. Stop, stop, stop

You shifted your eyes to the ground, a heaviness swirling in your chest.

“That’s very honorable of you, Mx. D’aramitz. However, working too hard is not good for your body. I can’t have my favorite student burning out just yet.”

Huh?

Ah, you definitely did not expect that. Your eyes widened, and your nose flared slightly at Trein’s gentle smiling you’ve been seeing more of lately. Perhaps it was a smile born out of pity. However, you heart still stuttered a bit at the words: “ favorite” “student” . You had never been someone’s favorite anything before. A genuine smile graced your lips.

“Thank you professor. No need to worry so much, I can’t have my favorite professor being accused of favoritism.”

Trein lets out a hearty laugh you feel proud of. “Rest assured Mx. D’aramitz, I would never let myself play favorites in the academic sense. I merely admire your passion when it comes to the subject of art. I should have expected a student like you would be the president of the Art Club. Ah, also,” Trein pulled out a book from his inner pocket “I was actually on my way to pass this onto you.”

Power of Artistic Appropriation: Postwar Victory of Gothic Fae Architecture

“Ah! I was looking for this! I couldn’t find it anywhere in the library!” You were already flipping through the pages, excited to devour the contents of the book.

“I thought so. One of my students had it checked out for a while and I happened to see him finish it. I asked if I could borrow it from him for you, I know how quickly you finish books, so it won’t be an issue to bring it back to me in a few days, yes?”

“Thank you professor! I’ve actually been wondering about something regarding one of the readings you suggested last time…”

“Oh? What could that be?”

“The shift from functional gargoyles to decorative ones was indicated first from the spolia of one of the triumphal arches from Briar Valley, would you say this was a symbolic, or better put, psychological attempt in humiliating the human race and their innovations of the Gothic Era?” Excitement simmered at the tips of your fingers at the thought of discussing, no, even merely thinking about one of your favorite subjects. You could barely contain yourself.

You continued, “Since in the human realm, gothic structures during the later eras had begun to rise as both a symbol of the powerful political and religious influence of Royal families, would it make sense to argue that the Fae‒ considering their history in belittling humans especially as negative sentiments grew during the war‒“

“(Name).”

The bubbling passion you radiated swiftly rushed out of your body like the warm blood. You stilled your breath, careful not to tremble as Trein’s eyes remained fixed on your expression.

“Mother.” That word felt like fire on your tongue.

“Who is this gentleman?” She gestured to Trein.

“This is Professor Trein, the head of the history department here.”

“Oh, excuse my manners professor! It’s nice to meet you, my name is Anastasia D’aramitz, owner to the D’aramitz skincare and potions company. I hope that my child here has not caused you too much trouble.”

She flickered a fiery look at you for a split second, before returning to her smiley facade.

“Not at all Lady D’aramitz, it’s always a pleasure having Mx.D’aramitz both in and out of class.” Trein bowed politely, plastering a curt smile. “I’ll be on my way now, Lady D’aramitz, Mx.D’aramitz. Take care.”

You quietly bowed, your voice lodged at the back of your throat, constricted from the muscles in your shoulder tensing at your mother’s cold touch.

“You do the same as well, Dr.Trein.”

———————————————————

You did not successfully evade that scolding. Under your left hand, you held your shaking right, digging your nails into the freshly made scabs on your palms, as you held and released your trained breath in slow counts.

1…2…3…4…

“You insolent child! What sort of nonsense were you talking about with the head of the history department of all people?! Do you know what you cost me when you act like a bumbling idiot like that?!”

1…2…3…4…

“Yes mother, I apologize mother.”

1…2…3…4…

“ Devil child! Cease with that attitude. What do you think we send you to that school for?! Have you forgotten where you were raised, you no good fairy ?!”

1…2…3…4…

“Yes, mother, I apologize‒“

A harsh slap burned your cheeks. She grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked you right into her face. Tears burned at the corner of your eyes.

1…2…3…4…

“I said cease with that disgusting attitude of yours! Do you have no respect, no thanks for the people who raised you?! We could have thrown you out that day we found you instead of our child, but we took you in. Do you have no shame?! Acting in such a way after all we’ve done for you!"

1…2…3…4…

“I am…sorry for my attitude, mother. It won’t happen again. I am eternally grateful for all you’ve done.”

1…2…3…4…

She released the searing grip from your white hair, throwing you back to the seat of the car.

1…2…3…4…

“We’re here. You’re disgusting. Clean yourself up before you come in.”

She threw a pink vial at your lap.

“Best rejuvenation in all of Twisted Wonderland! Approved by fae!” It was labeled in gold ink. A small picture of your face‒ the model one with your fae features showing, an image constructed by your mother‒ framed by a heart shape sat next to the lettering. You ripped off your wig, throwing it across the car. Gripping the prissy pink vial in your hand, you prepared to throw it out the window. You paused when you saw your reflection in the window, a dark red splotch staining your cheek.

Tears burned at the back of your throat as you lowered your hand. Shaky hands struggled to pop the cork off, before throwing back the contents of the vial in one thick gulp, and slamming it onto the seat. You dug your hands into your arms squeezing your body that no one else would hold.

1…2…3…4…

———————————————————

Malleus gazed at the poster in front of him. As remarkable as the design was, he felt a sense of familiarity in the swirling golden calligraphy.

Oh .

He reached quickly for the book kept in his inner pocket, tucked near his quickening heart. Carefully peeling off the precious note, he held it up next to the lettering.

A match !

Warmth rose to his cheeks along with effervescent delight that made his hands shake. No signature, again. It seemed that his mystery person was serious about privacy, however the pretty curls of each letter were unmistakably the same written in crimson ink.

“Roi des Dragons!”

Malleus had to rip his gaze from the poster to return to the present world, met with a gathering of students carrying lights, wood panels, and several cases of…apple juice? Ah and of course the obnoxious feathered vice dorm leader right in his face.

“What has entranced you so intently that you’re blocking the path for our backstage friends?” Malleus wanted to slap that coy smile off that face.

“I was merely admiring the poster. I apologize for blocking your path.” He said curtly, regaining his usual steely expression on his face.

“Non non, no issue, Roi des Dragons. I do not blame you, this magnifique work of art can be quite bewitching. More so because I happen to know L’artiste en folie who completed the piece.”

His ears twitched at that. “Oh?” A baited breath.

“Who?”

Rook shook his head,. “Alas, I cannot reveal. C’est un secret…The artist asked me specifically not to say.” He pressed a finger to his lips, leading the students on their merry way.

Malleus chewed the side of his mouth at that. So close. But hope was not lost. He had planned to ask you about the sketches today at your gallery. Tucking the book back into his pocket, he headed over to the art classroom where you mentioned your club would be displaying their artwork and pieces for purchase.

———————————————————

“Ah.”

The moment he stepped into the classroom, he was ensnared. He couldn’t help but to let out an audible sound in awe.

A gargoyle loomed from above, painted in brilliant hues of orange, violet, lavender, and cornish blue. Though the expression of the looming gargoyle remained true to its real counterpart, quite scary at that, there was an incredible softness, almost an iridescent glow to the painting as he approached closer, closer, closer to the canvas.

Such life, such tenderness, such softness. Was this really on a two dimensional surface? The heavenly glow of the painting seeped deeply into his bones, instilling a blazing adoration to them.

This is how you see the world, mystery artist.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. His heart erupted in warmth that he wanted to share with the world. Otherwise he felt like his body would explode.

“You’re interested in purchasing that piece?”

He attempted to slow the erratic thumping of his heart that pounded a deep drumming in his ears. He couldn’t.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

“Yes, I do."

“We can set you up over here by the counter. We have an option to leave a message for the artist, would you like to?”

“Yes, yes I would. Can I ask who the artist is?”

Thump, thump, thump.

“Ah, unfortunately I can’t say unless our artists explicitly give permission too…But I’ll make sure to pass the message on.”

Thump, thump, thump

The pen shook slightly in his hand. What should he write? What could possibly explain the situation he was in without sounding like an absolute creep? This was one of the rare instances where Malleus’ head was filled with absolute panic.

He remembered the title of the book filled with pretty red cursive. Spolia, Appropriation, and Victory: Decorative Statues Throughout the Ages. A number appeared in his head, 1001, October 1st, the day he encountered that red ink.

“I wish to find you.

“Spolia, page 1001”

He paused before signing his name. It was only fair he leave this mystery artist in suspense after they had done to him for so long. He was feeling a bit mean, too.

“Please leave my name anonymous from any documents the artist may receive.”

After paying the amount and handling the canvas with precious, precious movements, he scrawled something in red ink before slipping it in Spolia, Appropriation, and Victory , page 1001. He headed to the library to leave the book in its place.

———————————————————

Notes:

Clerestory: I realized that I mentioned this in the previous chapter but failed to address it. It’s basically one of those defined levels of the walls I talked about earlier in my explanation. Usually it’s the level where the stained windows are since it’s usually the highest level of the wall, which is why said widows can be called clerestory windows sometimes. It can also be made up of fake windows (basically just a window made of stone) in older buildings since welding/glass/architectural technology was not yet advanced enough to hold the weight of the building with giant glass windows without collapsing.

The introduction of strong metal and metal structures for the widows, flying buttresses, ribbed vaulting, and the pointed arch that allowed for more of the weight to be distributed in other places besides the wall enabled for the brilliant rose windows and entire walls covered in stained glass windows that’s colloquially considered “gothic”. This was later in the medieval era, and France in particular saw a huge explosion of these buildings, leading to the infamous Notre Dame Cathedrals all over the country. So for the Diasmonia dorm, I imagine it would be modeled after these older gothic buildings especially looking at the height of the dorm interior. With each Cathedral being built, each sought to be higher and higher‒ “suspended from heaven itself”. We don’t see much height in the Diasmonia dorm, but we do still see that ribbed vaulting and pointed arches, so a clerestory isn’t out of the question. I hope we’ll see something with higher ceilings like the Hunchback Disney movie represented in Rollo’s dorm. (This is a threat, Disney. Give me flying buttresses, NOW)

I’m trying to be as precarious as possible adding irl artist names lol. But for the sake of conversation/development I decided I would add them in moderation. Trying not to think too hard about the implications of Van Gogh and the other impressionist artists existing in the Twisted Wonderland world lol just cause I think it would be just a bit difficult to do world building for in-universe artists that resemble irl artists. Also because I’m lazy

Also, going for a parental relationship with Trein

The gargoyle painting is heavily inspired by Monet’s Rouen Cathedral, West Facade (1894). It’s a beautiful morning piece, I thought the color palette makes it look sublime, which is what I was going for since I wanted the painting to sort of reflect the character’s perception of Malleus. Soft, gentle, and beautiful in its labor of love for gothic buildings. Though they can appear scary, they are actually meant to ward off evil. As I develop the story, I want Malleus to take this role as rock and protector of the character

LMK what you think :)

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