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#the crying was after the punching though so it could be said that there was pre-existing resentment
lazerswordweilder · 3 days
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I wanna see Danny absolutely insane. Not like. We got too silly insane. Like, pushed past his breaking point, desperately trying to hold on, for the fifth time this week, and it’s Monday.
I wanna see him smile when Dash shoves him into his locker, because he’s not sure what to do. On one hand he’s so done with this, and he knows he could end Dash in a fraction of a second. On the other hand, it was almost reassuring, nostalgic, he remembers when this used to hurt.
I wanna see ghosts and humans alike, go to hurt or bother Danny Fenton Phantom. And have them stop when he turns around, because the look in his eyes is not something they understand nor want to mess with. Lancer saw a weight he thought only characters in books could possibly have to carry, Paulina saw tears and when has anyone ever seen him cry, Vlad saw exhaustion that cuts into your very core but you have to keep going because that’s what’s expected of you, Ember saw grief and pain over something that never happened but could’ve been, Dash saw pain a hundred times worse than anything he’s ever felt, Jazz saw protectiveness of a kingdom who hates him, Wes swears he looked insane.
And Danny? Danny is done with their shit. And he doesn’t swear. He’s so tired of everything, he’s so close to giving up, he is very much not feeling phantastic right now. He’s got more scar tissue than skin, he’s pretty sure everything he owns has at least a little of his blood on it by now, he’s forgotten what feeling okay is like, and he can’t even begin to describe everything else, and he means everything. He’s got half the mind to track down who ever said death was peaceful and make them deal with his life. But he’s a hero. Right?
He knows he’s got duties, the Realms needs a king, Amity needs a protector (both the humans and the ghosts), Danny Fenton needs to go to school. Oh and he’s pretty sure Frostbite is having a panic attack after looking at him which is ridiculous. But still, the stars seem real inviting right now, he wonders if Clockwork would turn back time for him and just let him sleep on the moon for 200 or so years. Probably not. (Clockwork absolutely would’ve). He might just do it anyways. It’s kind of ridiculous how much somethings just look like comfy beds to sleep in for a trillion years to him now, he fell asleep in a snow bank earlier which wasn’t nearly cold enough. But it’s kind of fair Danny supposes, he can’t remember the last time his home really felt like home, and Amity in general is his haunt, but eh, whatever.
Still though, having your enemy worried for you is really something. Like Vlad should comment, Vlad’s the source of a small fraction of his problems! Which is a lot! First of all having to worry about another source of constant attacks, having to try and convince his parents that Vlad is so clearly evil, having to check up on Dani and also make sure Vlad isn’t trying anything like that again, and not to mention the whole mayor of the town he lives in thing.
Okay this kind of got off track. But my point is, I want it to be too much, instead of somehow managing to survive it all and getting help, Danny gets pushed off the edge (and can’t get out) and he just goes crazy, he breaks down right in the middle of school over a minor inconvenience, laughing then sobbing then screaming then wailing for ancients knows how long. Then he flies off somewhere and continues to breakdown for a while, then he returns to his life like nothing happens, but it did.
That was it.
He can’t be pulled back now. You had your chance. You all had so many chances. And now he’s lost it for good. And you all deserve it.
He’s not going to apologise for punching Dash through a wall, he’s not going to apologise for whatever he did in that little blacked out period of time, he’s not going to apologise for taking a nap in the observatory and hissing and attacking all the tourists and everyone else, he’s not going to apologise for dissecting his parents, he’s not going to apologise for making Vlad regret it, he’s not going to apologise for making the ghost writer eat a book, he’s not going to apologise at all.
You let him get like this. He doesn’t want to shift the blame. But what was he supposed to do? No. Oh no. Don’t try to explain. This is all your fault. And he’s tired of pretending he’s fine. And he’s tired of helping. Because you lost that a while back.
You all don’t even know how dead you are to him, he had a little regret when it came to Sam and Tucker and Jazz, and that’s why they’re alive right now. Because they did all they could, well, not all they could, but that was because he asked them not to tell. Maybe he shouldn’t off.
-
All hail the high king Danny Fenton Phantom. The king who never stopped crying.
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darklordofthesimp · 1 year
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Wrath (Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader)
Summary: After you risk your life protecting Ghost, the Lieutenant is furious. Angry enough, in fact, to pay you a late-night visit.
Requested by @chippyroh :
#69 Shut up or I'll shut you up.
#71 You’re driving me out of my fucking mind
A/N: Listen here you little shits, I will not be making a part 2 to this and you cannot convince me this time.
Category: Sexual Tension || Angst || Enemies to ? || Hurt/ Comfort
Warnings: Graphic language, Manhandling/Rough-handling, Sexually suggestive themes.
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It was meant to be an easy mission but, really, what were you expecting?
You were experienced enough to know that when it was meant to be a breeze, you had to prepare for a fucking hurricane. And as Ghost stormed towards you, his fists clenched and his gaze furious, you knew this was gonna be one hell of a storm.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” He didn’t stop until his chest bumped into yours, heaving and hard. His wide shoulders swayed from side to side as the officer sized you up. “Are you fucking stupid?”
You grit your teeth and glared. “I just saved your fucking life, Sir.”
You weren’t much in comparison to the towering figure that Ghost presented, you knew that. Still, you stood as tall as you could manage and set your jaw. You were right to provide him with backup. You were right to have taken out the people on his tail.
You’d done everything right.
So, why was he so fucking angry?
“Don’t start this shit with me, Sunshine,” Ghost hissed, fingers wrapping around your bicep. He pulled you in flush against his body, your armoured plates knocking against his. “That was out of line.”
“Saving your life?” You questioned, bewildered. “Saving your life was out of line, Ghost?”
His eyes narrowed and a deep rumble reverberated in his chest.
“No,” he snapped, leaning back. “Pretending you were anything but a fucking sniper was, though.”
Your breath left your lungs as though you’d been sucker-punched. You searched what little features you could see for an ounce of regret, any softness in his features to show he didn’t mean it- but the kohl on his eyes only highlighted the sharpness of his gaze.  
“This isn’t over, Sunshine,” Ghost warned, snatching his hand from your arm. He imparted a glare that had your throat tightening, before he brushed past you roughly.  For once, you wished you had never made it home.
______
You were angry at yourself for crying.
It was in your own shower and hidden from the rest of your unit, but you were still upset.
Your life was insane and full of enough sorrow to destroy most, and there were more than enough reasons to justify an emotional break. However, crying over a man? You were ashamed. Embarrassment seared red hot across your chest, it made your blood boil- it made you angry.
Who the fuck did he think he was?
You had done everything right. Price had clapped you on your back upon your return, commending your quick thinking. Ghost had scoffed at that, watching the interaction from the darkest corner of the room.
“Leaving your post is not ‘quick-thinking.’” The words had been a snarl from beneath his bloodied mask.
Price raised a brow as you shifted on your feet furiously. “I saved you on the evac, Sir. There was no fucking post.”
Ghost took a step toward you, his finger pointing at your chest as though he were marking you for death. You were thankful Price stepped in, you were angry but you weren’t stupid. You didn’t want to go toe-to-toe with the grim reaper himself but you would to defend your actions.
“How about you both hit the showers and cool off. Good job on today,” he gave the two of you a pointed look, “the both of you.”
You said nothing, only returning Ghost’s glare vehemently before storming off.
Your clothes felt too soft on your freshly scrubbed skin. It always felt like that after a mission; everything smelt too good, felt too good and sounded too quiet. It would take you a couple of hours to adjust, but your blood burned at your surroundings.
You were already overstimulated and now you were uncomfortable.
Fuck you, Simon Riley, you ingrateful twat.
You wanted to find him and shake some sense into him. You wanted a fucking thank you. You wanted his recognition, his approval and you seethed at your desire to feel accepted by him.
You dried your hair roughly with the towel, your frustrations translating into your menial tasks. Angrily shower, angrily dry off, angrily get dressed- you were fucking furious and you couldn’t get past it.
Bang, bang, bang.
You gasped, dropping the towel as someone battered against your door. It shook on the hinges under the pressure, and you stood frozen for a long moment. It was late, there was no reason for anyone to be visiting.
Everybody from the 141 was out and about, you and Ghost had returned a day earlier than expected.
You frowned as they knocked again with the flat part of their fist, the dull thuds picking up in volume. You scooped the towel from the floor, throwing it over the chair in the corner.
“Coming,” you shouted before they could go for a third round. You worried the frame wouldn’t hold up much longer. No sooner than you had twisted the handle, the door swung open. You leapt out of the way, eyes wide as a towering figure stepped through the threshold, slamming the door shut behind them.
The lock engaging behind him sounded like a death knell.
“Sir-“ you rasped, stumbling backward as he approached you.
“Cut that shit out,” Ghost snapped, “you know my fucking name.”
Fuck.
You stared up at him with wide eyes, as you continued back into the room. He was furious, just as heated as he had been when he’d gotten back from the mission. The man had clearly showered and changed, standing before you in a hoodie and balaclava.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” You glared at him, heart leaping into your throat as your back finally hit the wall. Ghost’s eyes slid to each side of you, marking how you were trapped between your own furniture.
“You know what you did today, Sunshine,” he said heatedly, “everyone can congratulate you about it as much as they want but you listen to me. Never do that again.”
You sneered, leaning forward. Ghost inclined his head, meeting you halfway as your noses nearly brushed. “I saved your life within the parameters of the mission and I’ll do it again and again if I fucking have to.”
“You were almost killed!” Ghost’s finger rose to press into your chest harshly. “Almost had a fucking bullet put between your eyes.”
“But I didn’t! Had I not stepped in you would have been a fucking pin cushion, Simon!”
You were forced back into the wall as he smacked an open palm into the plaster beside your head. You jumped at the sound by your ear, your lip trembling beneath his gaze. You could feel the heat emanating from his body in waves, he was fucking burning.
“What?” You whispered, your mouth dry all of a sudden. “You gonna fuckin’ hit me, Riley? You gonna hit me for doing my job?”
“Of course not, you idiot.” He snapped, leaning back. Ghost’s eyes narrowed as his hand slid from the wall by your head, resting at his side.
“Why are you here then? Barging into my room, locking the door behind you, putting me against the wall,” you listed, your voice low and urgent as you glared at him. Your chest heaved against his as you raced to catch your breath. “You’re either here to fuck me or fight me and we both fucking know that you hate my guts, Riley. So, get to it and get the fuck out.”
“Shut the fuck up, Sunshine,” Ghost rasped, shifting on his feet. “You deserve to get your shit rocked for the way you acted out there.”
 You searched his gaze, his eyes the colour of a stormy ocean as he glared right back at you. “You don’t even know what you’re doing here,” you snarled, leaning forward once more. This time, Ghost didn’t challenge you. “You don’t think you deserve to be saved, L.T?”
“Shut up,” he snapped.
“Your life is worth more than mine, Simon,” you growled, poking a finger into his chest. “You’re my superior, it’s my job to protect you.”
“Then fucking listen when I say shut up, or I’ll shut you up.”
“Sniper or not, if it ever came down to me or you- it’s my fucking job to die for you-“
Your back slammed against the wall, breath leaving your body at the impact. You were disoriented for a short moment, vision hazy as you tried to regain your bearings. His body was pressed against yours, his hands gripping your shoulders so tight you knew you’d be bruised.
You couldn’t think, you couldn’t anticipate his next move. Not when he gripped your jaw, half his fingers on your face and the others wrapped against your neck. He leaned down and you flinched, opening your mouth to gasp.
He wasn’t going to hit you.
Instead, Ghost kissed you.
You don’t know when he had rolled his mask upward, but his mouth was hot and urgent against yours, groaning when he swallowed your gasp before it could come to fruition. He tasted sweet on your tongue and poisonous to your mind, drowning all your inhibitions in his touch. You whimpered against him and a wicked smile curved his lips upward.
You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think. Your hands gripped his shirt tightly as his free hand moved to tangle itself in your damp hair, your dripping strands locked tightly between his fingers.
When he pulled away you were dizzy, your head falling back to rest against the wall. Your chest heaved as your heart pounded against your ribs, demanding to be freed.
There was nothing but silence for a long moment, the space between you both filled with his ragged breathing and your shaky gasps. You were so close you could taste him, his forehead pressed against yours and his eyes squeezed shut.
“You’re driving me out of my fucking mind, Sunshine.” Ghost rasped finally, his voice throaty and strained. “You just don’t fucking listen.”
You swallowed thickly, eyes trained on the beast before you. You’d watched this man tear people apart with his bare hands. You’d seen him take bullets to the chest, seen him snap necks and tear limbs.
But those fingers that had wreaked so much havoc rested on your throat softly, now. So gentle, as though he thought you would crumble beneath him if he squeezed.
But he wanted to grip tighter, and you knew it. You could tell by the twitch of his fingers, by the clench of his jaw.
“I can be taught, Sir,” your voice was barely a whisper but Ghost’s eyes snapped open as though you’d yelled at him. He watched you, like a predator observing its prey. You wondered if he thought he’d misheard you, maybe he was praying that he hadn’t.
When he leaned in close, your body shivered against his as adrenaline spiked your system.
“I’ll fuckin’ teach you to listen, Sunshine,” he murmured finally, fingers tightening against your skin. “Don’t you worry.”
Maybe he didn’t hate you, after all.
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yanderestarangel · 6 months
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♡ 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧 ♡
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TW: smut, praise, pet names, angst, ftm reader, pussy worship, v!sex, afab anatomy, handjob, cum play, husband x husband, fingering, overstimulation.
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He was never an easy man and you knew that, living and being married to Bi Han was a test of patience sometimes, however, you never expected him to say such rude words to you in a fit of anger, but that time even you couldn't escape his fury.
He said horrible things to you, making you paralyze with shock, he saw the shit he had done when he saw you cry and left the house sobbing, he punched and broke everything he saw in front of him after he saw the what he had done, hurt the only person who still loved him despite everything... You.
You came back days later, as you saw the movement he had made to look for you - he literally put the entire Lin Kuei clan to look for you - He grabbed your arm tightly, worry and anger, anger at himself for making you upset.
"-You could be in danger!" His voice rose in intensity as he pulled you closer to him. "-Never do that again! I don't care how mad I make you, I never want you to leave without telling me." He let go of your arm and took a step back, looking into your eyes with a mixture of anger and genuine concern.
"-Now come here..." He ordered, reaching out to pull you into a rough hug. "-I need to make sure you're okay." The smell of his cologne mixed with the musky scent of his sweat filled your nostrils as he held you tightly against his chest. You could feel the heat radiating from his body as he held you tight. Despite his volatile temper, there was something comforting about being held by Bi Han, something that made you feel safe even when he scared you. He guided you to the shower, seeing that you were avoiding looking at his face, obviously upset with everything he had said - he searched your body, looking for any bruises, whispering apologies for everything, but he knew that your forgiveness and trust would only come with time. - the grand master gave you one of his shirts, it was too big on your small body compared to him, he missed you, he would have to work hard for you and your relationship. You laid down on the bed, trying to ignore him as much as possible... but you both knew it wouldn't be for long. Bi Han couldn't help but feel a sense of despair. He knew he needed to prove to you that he was willing to change, to treat you with the respect and dignity you deserved.
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Slowly, Bi Han approached you, gently kissing your neck as he reached his hand under your blouse to gently caress your breasts. "-I love you..." he whispered, his voice full of longing and regret.
You could feel his hard cock pressing into your ass, and even though you were still upset with him, there was a part of you that craved his touch. And then, you let out a soft sigh, allowing yourself to melt into his embrace.
His hand moved down your hip, slipping under the loose shirt you wore to cup your bare ass, he squeezed gently, his breath warm against your neck as he kissed you softly. "-My baby boy, you know how much I want you." His fingers slid down, teasing the edge of your pussy lips as he moved closer to you. "-You're so wet for me..." he tracing the folds of your sex with the tip of his finger. "-Do you want me to make you cum? Are you ready to be my husband again?"
You moaned at his touch, but agreed, however, that you had a pillow during the act, hugging and covering your face, not wanting to look at him yet - a physical barrier to show how upset you still were with him -
Bi Han chuckled softly as you spoke, understanding your desire to avoid eye contact. "-As you wish, my angel." Slowly, Bi Han began to thrust into you, his cock sliding in and out of your wet pussy with ease. His moans filled the air, muffled by the soft fabric as he fucked you. You were more than just his husband, you were everything to him and he would do anything to make sure you were happy.
He knew that what had happened before had been a mistake and he was determined to prove to you that he valued and respected you above all else. You moaned softly into the pillow, your body responding to his touch despite your anger - You could feel every inch of him inside you, stretching out as the pleasure built inside you -
"-Feel my cock inside your little pussy, you are my beautiful boy, I promise I will never treat you like that again baby... I swear, losing you is something unbearable and unthinkable for me." His hands roamed your body, caressing your hips and stomach as he moved inside you. He could feel the tension in your body beginning to dissipate, replaced by waves of pleasure. As he fucked you, Bi Han transferred some of his own energy to his cock, making it pulse inside you, your fingers digging into the pillow as Bi Han continued to thrust.
"-Fuuck, boy... Your pussy is so tight..." Bi Han moaned hoarsely, as the sound of his heavy balls could be heard by you, as well as felt, beating rhythmically with the thrusts of his dick in your uterus. "-Let go... let me make you come."
You felt your orgasm getting closer and closer, with each thrust and praise coming from Bi Han's lips, but the anger still existed in you, so you protested slightly between moans in the air, telling him not to cum inside your hole, moist like he was used to doing so often. "-I won't." Bi Han promised, his voice filled with frustration. He knew that you were still upset and he didn't want to make things worse by cumming inside you. Instead, he focused on making you come, using his body to bring you pleasure, but the feeling of your tight pussy around his cock was driving him crazy.
Finally, you cried out, your body shaking as waves of pleasure washed over you. Bi Han felt your pussy contract around his cock, milking him hard, he had to use all his self control to simply not tear that stupid pillow you were hugging to cover your face and see your features with the purest pleasure because of from him.
"-Fuck darling... You feel so good..." He moaned, his breath cold against your neck as he continued to thrust his hips roughly into you, unable to resist the feeling of your tight pussy wrapping around his cock.
As he approached his own climax, Bi Han withdrew quickly, with a wet, erotic pop, spreading a thick stream of cum across your stomach and breasts as he stroked himself, moaning your name and biting his lower lip. Bi Han watched as you removed the pillow from your face, his gaze flickering to your chest, where a trail of cum was already beginning to drip down between your breasts. He couldn't help but smile at the sight, feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction as he continued to stroke his cock in front of you. Bi Han's eyes locked with his as he stroked his cock, watching as you watched him.
The sight of his body covered in his cum was arousing to him, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. "-You look beautiful like this... My beautiful boy, covered in my cum." His fingers traced the line of cum that had pooled around your pussy, spreading it even further before dipping into her wet folds.
"-Come for me one more time, boy... don't think you can just push me away forever. I love you so much, and I won't let our fight come between us." You were overstimulated, and Bi Han's thumb on your clit was overwhelming, you just let go of your inhibitions and pride, just moaning his name, you screamed, your eyes rolling back as you came hard around his fingers - with the force of your second orgasm in a row - He leaned in to kiss you softly, his gaze full of love and remorse as he whispered in your ear.
"-I don't expect you to forgive me now, but, I hope this shows how much I adore you and how much I want to make you happy." With that, Bi Han got out of bed, pulling up his pants and heading towards the door.
"-I need to go now, take care of clan matters, but I promise we'll talk more about this later. I want to make sure everything is okay between us." He stopped at the door, turning to look at you. "-Take care of yourself, my beautiful boy." Bi Han said softly before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.
As you lay there in the aftermath of your orgasm, you couldn't help but feel conflicted. On the one hand, you were still angry at Bi Han for his harsh words earlier. But on the other hand, he was your husband and you were his husband, which made you wonder if maybe things could be different between you. Only time would tell if Bi Han could truly change, but something gave you hope that he could.
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©𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 2023
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butterfluffy · 10 months
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strawhats + d. mihawk with a healer!s/o
⠀⠀ੈ♡˳· what would it be like being a healer, and an s/o to these people?
⠀⠀➧ unlabeled | strawhats, d. mihawk (separate)  x gn!reader | multi-character headcanons
⠀⠀➧ warnings — idk, none, ig? mistakes may be present tho.. so do ignore them, thanks.
⠀⠀➧ requests are closed, sorryyyyy..!
⠀⠀꒰ 🍨 ꒱ notes: finally writing to clear out my inbox aAaaaAahhHhhHHHHh
req by @n0body-1mportant
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MONKEY D. LUFFY
This trouble maker captain right here is always injured lol
So that said, you always go on healing your big, trouble maker baby
Wild card : Though he can take punches, kicks, and even stabs without screaming in pain—Luffy starts whining like a poor puppy everytime he comes to ask you to patch him up.
“Y/n...! Look, look, I'm heavily injured! I'm reaallyy hurt! Won't you heal me!? And, and! Won't you give me a kiss, too, for doing a great job in beating that bastard's ass!?”
RORONOA ZORO
Same as his captain, the first mate is always injured—due to fights, his harsh training, and other causes
..Despite always being injured, Zoro hates getting himself patched up. But if you're the one doing the healing so he could get better, it's all good for him!
Wild card : Zoro doesn't care if he's greatly bleeding out during a fight—but outside a fight, if he got the smallest cut, Zoro immediately dashes to you to get himself healed up..!
“Hey, so, I was peeling myself apples a while ago using that ero-cook's damned knife—now I got this cut. Heal it now, and eat these with me, yeah?”
NAMI
Nami very much hates getting herself injured, especially getting scars
So Nami is quick to rush to you to get her injury fixed
Wild card : this happens quite rarely, since as said above, she hates getting scars—but, nami sometimes get herself injured on 'places' to see you flushed when she asks you to heal it~
“Babyyy..! Look, look! Look at my perfectly beautiful legs here! They've got a scar! Their beauty has been tarnished, so, please.. Take care of them, yeah~?”
USOPP
Usopp avoids getting himself injured at all cost.
And when he does get injured, he screeches as he dash towards you with tears on his eyes, asking you to heal his injury ASAP.
Wild card : I have this headcanon for Usopp where he's a real clutz, so he always has an injury here and there, and wounds that he doesn't know where it came from.
“Y-Y/n..! W..When I woke up, I saw this new wound on my arm..! I..I don't know where it came from—it's probably from the spirits that I've angered, waaahh!!”
(it was caused by Luffy. He was dreaming that Usopp was a piece of meat, and bit him during their sleep. 💀)
VINSMOKE SANJI
As the left hand man of the ship's captain, Sanji is always out on a fight to support his captain, so injuries are unavoidable.
He's developed durability to the beating up he receives and shows it off his coolness to you, BUT AFTER THE FIGHT, he whines.
Wild card : This perv right here always has a nosebleed everytime you go patch up his beaten up ass, causing you more trouble.
“My loveee..! I'm injured, I'm badly hurt..! Everything's so painful, so please, heal me with your magic kiss—*you kiss him* *he nosebleeds*”
NICO ROBIN
Robin isn't a big fan of getting injuries during combat, or whenever.
Though despite being injured, she handles it like a Queen! (You don't.)
Wild card : As said above she handles her injuries like the Queen she is, BUT, you don't—you're more panicked when she's injured as she stays calm while telling you some morbid jokes.
“Darling.. Please calm down. I'm not going to die, you know? All I got is this small scratch the size of a severed finger, so, don't worry about me too much, okay?”
FRANKY
SUPEEEERRRRR Franky right here who's a barely gets himself injured.
↑ Why? Because, he's a cyborg, a cool one who will barely get a scratch..!
Wild card : ...When Franky does get injured for some reason being during a fight or where else, he starts crying like a small child to you as he asks you to heal him...!
“Waaahh! This damned injury hurts so bad..! It's SUPEEEERRRR painful, I'm gonna cry! Y/n, Y/n, quick, quickly, heal me and ease my pain..!!”
DRACULE MIHAWK
The greatest swordsman? Injured?? Pfft, not a chance.
Though when he's going against strong fellas, he gets some scratches here and there, which he deals with by himself—not wanting to bother you.
Wild card : Mihawk doesn't show it, but, he loves, and finds it cute when you insist on helping him with his injury that he already had managed, or can obviously handle fixing by himself.
“My dear... I already fixed my injury, so don't worry about it. But.. If you really insist on using your ability to speed up the healing process.. Alright. I'll let you.”
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© butterfluffy 2023
⠀⠀ʚїɞ · likes, comments, reblogs, and/or feedbacks are highly appreciated!
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kitkatscabinet · 8 months
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Always been you
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Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f! childhood friend reader
Summary: From the moment you first smiled at him as children Simon knew it would always be you.
Word count: 2k
Warnings: some nsfw content so minors keep scrolling
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It starts like this, he’s 9 years old feet listlessly guiding himself to the rundown park desperate to be somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t the oppressive confines of home. The weather, as was typical of Manchester, wasn’t exactly cooperating. A dreary grey drizzle that served to keep most of the general populace indoors. Few parents were willing to stand outside and supervise their rowdy children. 
That’s not to say the area was completely devoid of activity and for a while Simon was content to sit idly on the swing set and people watch. Trying desperately to ignore the clench in his chest and the sting of tears in the corner of his eyes as he watched the loving interactions between child and parent. Bitterness and wanting in equal parts threatened to consume him. 
A voice from the side quickly pulls him from the harrowing thoughts, though he quickly thinks maybe they’d be easier to deal with. It’s a boy, around his age, maybe a little older and he’s boring like Simon’s deeply offended him. 
“Get off the swing, I want a turn.” The demand leaves Simon more than a little flabbergasted. Apparently, he takes too long to not follow the sudden command as the boy's face twists in even more displeasure. 
“I said, move!” He’s taller, and maybe it's because Simon had already been scared by Tommy that morning but he freezes. 
Or maybe it’s just because he’s pathetic, his father’s voice whispers traitorously in his mind. 
Thankfully, the thought doesn’t get to stick around for long as a new voice enters the fray. “Hey! Fuck off!” Both boys whirl around with wide eyes at the newcomer, neither sure how to respond to the loudly swearing girl. However, when the boy responds with what Simon assumes to be your name it becomes clear that you already know each other. 
“I don’t have to listen a girl.” That proves to be exactly the wrong thing to say, Righteous indignation lights up your face and before Simon can even blink the would-be bully is on the ground, clutching his nose with a cry. You’d punched him, hard enough that Simon could see the blood spilling out from over the crying boy’s hands and down his chin. Not wanting to suffer the same fate, Simon had let you pull on his hand, keeping it in a deceptively strong grip as you marched the two of them away. When you make it far enough from the crime scene you turn to him with a toothy grin, introducing yourself and promptly claiming the title of his new best friend. 
It’s not quite love at first sight, but years down the line Simon will recognise it as something close. 
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The fourth time you meet at the park, not even two weeks from the initial greeting, you ask after his parents. It wasn’t unusual that Simon didn’t talk much, content to listen to you chatter away but you must have noticed something different in that instance of silence. You were alarmingly perceptive like that when it came to him, your eyes feeling as if they were staring directly into his soul, seeing all the shattered hurt he tried to hide. Nodding to yourself you grabbed his hand, an occurrence that he hadn’t quite gotten used to yet - your gentle touch, and tugged him along. You walk him all the way to your house, open the door with an excited bang and march straight up to your parents. 
“This is my best friend, Simon, he’s gonna sleep over tonight!” Your parents are rightfully not amused but their protests quickly die down. He has no idea what convinced them in the end, but from then on he’d somehow become a permanent fixture in your home. Dinners became a regular thing which often became sleepovers as you attempted to keep him out of the house that had caused him so much fear and pain. It was about as subtle as a brick to the face but Simon never complained, especially if it meant you’d pull him into your bed as often as possible to sleep. 
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He hadn’t minded the first two ‘boyfriends’, they had been nothing serious, silly childhood infatuations. Because at the end of the day, it was always him that you returned to. Crawling through his window late at night and pouting that you couldn’t sleep without your favourite pillow, because somehow, despite his protests you always wrestled him into being the little spoon. 
No, it isn’t until he’s 17 and more than aware of how painfully in love with you he is that the boyfriends finally become a problem. Simon wasn’t a violent person, didn’t want to be, not like his father was. But as he holds you in his arms after you’d climbed through the window in tears, cuddling up to him under the blanket covering his bed that he swears for the first time in his life he could kill somebody. He offers too, you simply laugh and tell him he’s the best friend you could ever have. You think he’s joking, Simon’s not entirely sure he is. 
You’re his first kiss, something that had only occurred at your aghast knowledge that he’d never kissed anyone at all. He’s not sure why you’re surprised, you’re the only person he ever lets near him let alone touch him. It’s simultaneously the best and worst moment of his life because now he actually knows what it feels like to kiss you. Knows that nobody will ever live up to you. 
It’s then he realises that you’re his first everything really, first friend, first crush, first and only love. 
He reads some of your smutty books, the ones you giggle at, a secret he’ll take to the grave, just to learn what you like. It comes about after a drunken confession on your part, liquor loosening your lips just a tad too much as you detail how much your last boyfriend sucked in bed. It’s a mistake, because now every time he looks at you he can’t help but imagine the way you’d taste. How you’d sound begging so prettily for him. 
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His decision to join the military was not made lightly, you’d gotten accepted into some fancy university and it’s then Simon starts to realise just how much his entire life has started to revolve around you. As much as he wants to follow, he knows that life isn’t for him, and he knows how much you want him to flourish in whatever path he chooses. 
Training isn’t easy, but it’s far from the hardest thing he’d ever done. That title was reserved for telling you about his chosen career path. 
“Promise me you’ll always come back home to me” you demand, parting just slightly from your hug to look into his eyes. Simon knows he shouldn’t, after all there’s never any guarantee that he will, but as has been the case since you were both 12 he can’t bare to say no to you. 
“I promise love” it’s barely a whisper but you still hear it, your fingers clutching at the back of his shirt starting to shake a little. 
He wants to kiss you, he always does, but standing before him now, eyes glassy from the tears you’re trying to hold back, Simon swears you’ve never looked more ethereal. As much as he wants to lean down and finally taste your lips he doesn’t, it wouldn’t be fair. Not to you or to him, so instead he presses a soft kiss to your hairline, keeping you held tightly against him. 
You send him more care packages than he can count, photos, letters and little trinkets he kept tucked safely away in his bunk or on his person when he could get away with it. He gets teased for it but Simon couldn’t give less of a fuck about their poorly hidden jealousy, not when you cared for him so deeply. Not when he gets to fall asleep with your words in his head and faint scent rubbing off on him. 
He’d thought that perhaps the distance would do him some good, would finally douse the blazing flames of his love for you. He really should have known better because as the day's drone on you start to consume his every thought both waking and asleep. His life becomes a series of training and missions that only serve as a way to pass the time until he gets to see you again. Because no matter how much blood stains his hands he knows you’ll always be there to wash it away. He’s aware how selfish it is, to place the brunt of his longing and emotional baggage that only continues to grow in your careful hands, but Simon’s never claimed to be a good man. 
Some of the darkness slips out one night, after his brother's wedding, after the revelry had died down and it was just the two of you lying on the grass and looking up at the stars at your insistence. He’ll forever blame it on the alcohol, descriptions of the violence he’d tried so desperately to keep from you pouring from his lips in confession. He can’t bear to look at you, heart roaring in his ears as he waits for the moment you’ll run, the moment you’ll finally realise what a monster he is. That moment never comes, instead, you ensnare him in your protective grip, hands cradling him far more softly than he deserves. It’s that moment that finally cements the fact that you’re never leaving in his mind. You’re never leaving so it’s up to him to pull away before he tarnishes your light, but Simon is weak and so he stays. 
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It happens after his third tour, the one where he’d had too close a call, the one he’d thought for a few moments he wasn’t coming home from. In those moments he’d thought of you, of your smile and god he regretted. He regretted never telling you how he felt. 
It feels like he’s barely off the plane, eyes searching desperately for you before he hears the shout of his name. He spins just in time for you to launch yourself at his chest, gripping desperately onto him. You’ve always tried to keep your affection for him private, knowing he wasn’t entirely comfortable with people staring. Neither of you cared in that moment though and Simon’s already dropped his bags, engulfing you in a near-crushing grip. 
It’s an eternity before you pull away, but it’s still too soon. He briefly glimpses the tears in your eyes before he leans down and kisses you. Something in the back of his mind is screaming at him, but he doesn’t really care to listen. At first, you don’t respond and Simon finally panics as the consequences of his actions set in. You don’t give him the chance to run away though, hands grasping his face and keeping him in place. 
When you pull away you don’t say anything, simply taking his hand in yours and tugging him out to your car. The drive to your apartment is silent, but not uncomfortable. It isn’t until you’ve pulled him into your bed, in a mirror image of your younger years that you finally break the silence. 
“I never thought you felt the same.” The same? The implications of your words seared into the forefront of his mind. 
“Silly girl, why would I ever even look at somebody else when you exist?” You let out an adorably embarrassed squawk at his words, lightly hitting him on the chest as you bury your burning face against his neck.“It’s always been you” he murmurs, the confession settling over you like a wave. 
For a split second, he fears your relapse into silence means he’d pushed too far too fast. Years of pining bubbling up and over the surface at the slightest bit of reciprocation. You’re quick to shut down his internal spiral with another earth-shattering kiss, pulling away and resting your chin on his chest. 
“Yeah, you’ve always been it for me too Si. From the moment I pulled you from that swing." It's a little embarrassing, how fast his heart races at the confession. Tears build in the corners of his eyes as he finally, finally lets himself fully succumb to your love. You're quick to wipe them away though, because you would always take care of your Simon.
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axiina · 5 months
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PLSSS soft corio comforting reader after they get he saves her(or them idm) from the arena after she tried to say a proper goodbye to her tribute (kinda like sejanus) but maybe she gets hurt and super traumatized but hes there for her idk
If I Killed Someone for You
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Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x capitol!reader (gender neutral)
Summary: It wasn't supposed to end this way. You just wanted to say goodbye to your tribute, Lamina. Luckily, your boyfriend was there and made sure you didn't get hurt. Just why do you look at him differently now?
Words: 1.5k
Themes: hurt with comfort, a bit of fluff but also angst
Warnings: slight spoilers to movie and book, small changes to canon, Pup isn't Lamina's mentor, character's death, murder, a bit of trauma, blood, comforting, a bit of argument, death, overthinking, reader feels guilty about situation, referring reader as 'you'
Author's note: Lamina deserved better so you are her mentor, fuck this idiot Pup.
It was supposed to be fluff, but it came out a bit sad and traumatic. We got a soft Coriolanus, leaving aside the fact that he killed someone in the process. Enjoy!!
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It was a pure act of desperation.
You just wanted to tell Lamina what you hadn't managed to do before. You had grown close to the young girl, who was horrified by what was happening. The very fact that she was in the arena, alone, without any support was driving you crazy.
She didn't deserve what happened to her. You hoped that maybe Lamina would be able to win and would be able to return home to the family she missed so much.
With each hour of the Hunger Games, her chances seemed to get smaller and smaller. For those few days, you sat like you were on pins and needles staring at the big screen at the Academy. After a while, the helplessness returned and you had to try not to cry in front of the cameras.
Lamina did not deserve it. None of the tributes deserved it. You did everything you could to make Lamina feel as comfortable as possible during the meetings and her stay at the Capitol. In the arena, you tried your best to make sure she wasn't hungry or thirsty. You didn't want her to get hurt. That, however, was not enough. Seeing a boy from her district, Treetch, joining another group made you feel anxious.
"What if they kill her? What if he betrays her…" This thought ran through your head repeatedly like a mantra.
She became weaker and weaker every day.
Your last meeting was too short. You didn't have time to say goodbye to her properly. You wanted her to know that even though you were physically somewhere else, your heart and thoughts were with her, at the arena. You had to say goodbye to her. You wouldn't forgive yourself if Lamina died without hearing a proper goodbye.
That's why you decided to see her one last time. Under cover of darkness, you crept into the arena in disguise and quietly snuck under the beam where Lamina was. Perhaps foolish and reckless, but you didn't think about the consequences. Ever since the girl got to the arena you couldn't find a place. You slept only short naps and didn't even want to meet Coriolanus, who was getting more and more worried about you.
While you were at the arena, every now and then you looked nervously around to the sides to see if anyone was coming. Lamina was surprised when you showed up. It was all surreal and you felt as if you were detached from reality. As soon as you saw Lamina you started crying. You both cried. Now the knowledge of how dangerous the arena was came to you like a powerful punch. She can't die. You don't remember what exactly you told her. You don't know if you said anything that made sense to her at all. The adrenaline made your mind kind of foggy. However, you know that it lifted her spirits. She knew you were with her and supporting her. You don't know exactly how much you were in the arena.
Everything happened so fast when Coriolanus grabbed your arm. Your brain didn't even register the fact that the boy appeared there practically out of nowhere. He looked terrified. He spoke quickly and incoherently. You only understood as he begged you to run away from there, because at any moment someone might come out of the tunnels and kill you. You were frozen with panic when it came to you. They hate the Capitol. They hate you too, and they certainly wouldn't think twice before killing you. Your fear was increased when Lamina's eyes widened in horror and only one word came out of her mouth.
Run.
Tributes began to leave the tunnels. As soon as they noticed that there were two mentors in the arena they started running towards you. Because of the adrenaline in your veins, you don't remember much of what happened next. You and Coriolanus ran as fast as you could when Coral, Mizzen, Tanner and Bobbin chased you while holding objects in their hands that could be the cause of your upcoming death.
The next scene that stuck in your mind was when your boyfriend hit one of the tributes on the head with a wooden plank. The boy fell down, and Coriolanus, without thinking much, hit him a second time. Then another and another. You looked at the body of Bobbin lying lifeless and Snow standing over him, unable to get a single word out. Your heart was raging and your head was spinning, feeling fear. You were terrified.
You couldn't tell what was the reason. The fact that you had just nearly died in the arena, or…. no, it couldn't have been that. He was merely trying to defend you. Yes, that was definitely the reason. Coriolanus is not a murderer, he was just…. he was terrified and acted emotionally. Bobbin would have killed him if Coryo hadn't done it first. Then you would have been next in line. Yes, that's what would have happened.
Both of you were injured, but at that moment it didn't even cross your mind to ask him how he was feeling. The Peace Keepers almost carried you out of there. Your parents were as terrified as you were. By the time you were sitting in your room wrapped in a blanket as your mother hugged you crying something finally hit you. You could have died. Your family would have been devastated. Your friends and…Coriolanus. Well, exactly, Coriolanus. He almost died because of your fault. Your stupidity and recklessness. Now he is injured and probably suffering, and you are not there with him. After what happened you didn't even say a stupid thank you to him.
"What were you even thinking! You could have died there! Did you even think about your loved ones? About me? What would have happened to me if you had died there? If I didn't get there in time!" Coriolanus repeated walking in circles around the empty classroom, the next morning. You had your head bent down, and tears were running down your cheeks. How could you do something like that?
Coriolanus sighed and sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you closer.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't yell like that. You're probably still terrified. I was just…scared. I was scared that I would lose you."
It seemed to you that his voice cracked as the boy pressed his cheek against your head.
"Don't do that again. Don't scare me like that. If you had died I wouldn't have forgiven myself. I wouldn't be able to live normally." He whispered in your ear with a trembling voice.
"I'm here, love. I will always be until you have had enough of me. Although, most likely, even then I won't give you a break." A quiet, slightly trembling chuckle left his lips, at which you also smiled involuntarily.
"Enough of you? Never." you replied in an amused voice gently pulling away, but still remaining in his embrace. "I'm sorry, Coryo…I'm so terribly sorry for you. I just wanted to say goodbye to Lamina. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I don't want her-"
"Shhh, it's okay." Coriolanus rested his forehead against yours and took your face in his hands gently stroking your cheeks. "It is past. The most important thing is that we came out of it alive. Lamina is also alive and relatively well, excluding the circumstances."
"Thank you, Coryo. Thank you for everything. For saving me that night and that you do not resent me for it." You whispered, trying not to cry. You nuzzled your cheek into his palm and placed a gentle kiss on it.
Coriolanus' face moved closer to yours and he gently brushed your lips with his own as if he was afraid he would frighten you.
"I am angry at you. Earlier even furious, but I love you too much to stay mad at you." Coryo gently rubbed his nose against yours and looked into your eyes.
His beautiful blue eyes. Cold, but at the same time it makes you feel at home. Eyes that yesterday were raging and at one point…full of hatred.
Your smile slowly disappeared as you remembered what happened to Bobbin.
"Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday-" you started uncertainly, but Coriolanus cut you off.
"No." His voice seemed cold and in a moment you were embarrassed and your heart beat faster. You were the reason he had to do it, and now you're reminding him of it. Maybe he thinks you are blaming it on him.
Your thoughts, however, were interrupted by your boyfriend's voice. Softer this time.
"I didn't mean to. I didn't want to do it, but it was stronger than me…Please don't hate me. I love you and I did it for you too."
His eyes were glassy and he seemed panicked. You shook your head in denial and took his hand in yours bringing it close to your lips and kissed his knuckles.
"No, you're a good person, Coryo. Nothing has changed. I continue to love you, and you only proved me during the night that I couldn't find a better one."
Coriolanus wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead.
"You know you don't have to…you don't have to be afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt you. Never."
You froze for a brief moment. It was as if he was reading your mind. How could you think that about him? He saved you. If not for him, you would be dead.
It was stronger than that. When he approached you this morning your heart was beating faster and a chill went through your body.
"It's because I love him. Typical reaction" You repeated to yourself in your mind.
Every time you felt his hands stroking your hair while you were hugging, you thought about how tightly he gripped that wooden plank with which he cracked the head of the boy in the arena. How the blood spurted onto his snow white shirt from his school uniform. And those eyes. The eyes that always made you feel butterflies in your stomach, and then they seemed so unfamiliar. You thought about how later after the situation at the arena, he tried to approach you, and you took a step back with your eyes wide open in horror.
Of course, he knew. You don't need to read minds to know that. And he was intelligent. He knew right away.
"I know, I know, Coryo. It's just…" you knew that if you continued your voice would break. Besides, you didn't know what to say. You snuggled into his neck hugging him more tightly at the waist. You don't want to hurt him with such thoughts, but they are so intrusive. You can't get them out of your head despite his reassurances, affectionate words and gentle touch. "I'm sorry, I should be there for you, and I'm making everything worse."
You whispered soaking the collar of his shirt with your tears.
His hand went to your hair gently stroking it.
"Stop, it's not your fault."
You stayed like that in each other's embrace, in silence. Words are not important now. What is important is that you are together and nothing will change that.
He will not hurt you. Yes, he won't hurt you.
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bunni-v1 · 7 months
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Can I please request a reader that has been so traumatised by what’s happened in the Scarabia book that they actively avoid the entire dorm and have Ace and Deuce as their guard dogs (I love those two and I really love how you wrote them as the readers protective besties during the Malleus break up fic). Like how would Kalim, Jamil and Adeuce react to that?
I find it really cathartic when I read fics that have the characters feeling guilty after what they put the reader through whilst the reader is getting support from their friends.
(Something I’m really salty about in twst is how no one ever holds the overblots accountable for what they’ve done. I full on agreed with Ace when he told Riddle that crying wasn’t going to erase all that he did before the overblot and I literally fell in love with him when he punched Riddle after he insulted us/Yuu/the player. I understand that those boys are traumatised and are in desperate need of therapy and overblotting was the only way for their problems to be solved but the treatment they inflicted on Yuu/us was downright hellish. Azul made us homeless and tore us away from the only family/comfort we had in twst (the ghosts) and then sent the tweels to terrorise us in our attempts to reclaim said home and free our friends from servitude; Jamil kidnapped us, hypnotised us, locked us up in a room against our will, isolated us from Adeuce and took away any contact we had with them, forced us on long marches in the dessert and turned a blind eye to our clear suffering during that time; Vil acted like a literal demon to not only us (and then almost made my Deucey cry) but everyone else as well and that was before he decided to try to murder an innocent teenager. Like why does no one understand just how much this can damage an actual child who has no magic and has been stripped from their home and family?)
Reader Terrified of Scarabia After Jamil’s Overblot
TW: PTSD; Mental Breakdown; Disassociation; Mentions of Abuse; Kalim and Jamil are tragic
Info: Ace, Deuce x Reader (platonic or romantic); Kalim, Grim x Reader (platonic); Jamil and Reader (neutral)
🍓I love requests like this tbh. My own OC sorta has her own grapplings with this stuff that I like to touch upon, and I’m excited I get the chance to talk about it here :) THIS IS LONG AS HELL BTW(like this intro here lol). I had a lot of fun writing it :))) I added a cute, shorter little grim part, because our little guy deserves more lovin’ than he gets. I also decided to do a cute little (read: long) intro, and then head cannons since you didn’t specify for either. I hope you enjoy this style, and I’m sorry for the wait <3
You had been through… a lot in your time at Night Raven College. Being thrown into a completely different world would’ve been enough, but it seems that the great seven thought you needed some extra troubles. You weren’t sure how you could’ve encored their wrath, but you were, and you were chugging along despite it all.
First was the attack from the phantom in the mines — something that should’ve been foreshadowing for what was to come. You didn’t even do anything to be in this position. It was Ace Grim and Deuce, but you got dragged into it all because you were “Grim’s keeper.” You managed to befriend Ace and Deuce though, so it wasn’t so bad.
Second was Riddle with his unending temper and strict rules. Despite everything telling you to just stay out of it, your good-natured heart just couldn’t stop you from helping Ace and Deuce. Nearly dying in the process, you managed to help Riddle and made newfound friends in Heartslabyul. 
Third came Leona, the selfish, stuck-up, lazy no-good prince of the Savannah. You knew he was trouble from the start, and you wanted nothing to do with him or his little lackey Ruggie. Then he hurt Trey, and you couldn’t stand by while he reigned terror on the school. He was a favorable ally to gain in the end, so you could dismiss his actions so long as he kept in his lane.
Fourth was Azul, another student you figured would cause you trouble. With the extra scary Jade and Floyd always tailing him, and that too buttery sweet voice of his, you were determined to keep your distance. Again, however, your friends were in trouble and you couldn’t help but help them. Azul was a broken person, and you could sympathize with his struggles. He even gave you a job at the lounge to help with funding yourself, so he couldn’t be all that bad.
You’d come to dislike the other house wardens out of principle. A pattern had emerged among them, and you weren’t going to fall victim to another horrific overblot. You still had suction cup-shaped bruises on your arm from Azul’s breakdown. Leona had given you more than just a nasty burn from the scalding hot whirlwind of sand he conjured up. The scars Riddle left behind on your face and arms were healed, but they still ached when you touched them. All painful reminders that you could not truly trust anyone here, that anyone could lose control of themselves and hurt you. Yet…
When you met Jamil in the kitchen, he seemed so kind to both you and Grim. He seemed so genuine and honest. Maybe it was wishful thinking, or maybe it was you missing your friends, but you wanted to trust him despite your gut feeling to be distrustful. Could everyone here really be that bad? Certainly not. Ace Deuce and Jack went here as well… so surely… surely…
The alarm bells didn’t ring at all during the dinner, and Kalim — despite everything you’ve been through — seemed so nice, if not a little overbearing. You could see the tiredness on Jamil's face, and you had the kindness in your heart to express your sympathies. And oh, Jamil so humbly assured you that he was fine. Filling your head with little half-truths and ideas that Kalim had been overworking not only him but the other students. That he had been acting “off” as of late.
You saw Kalim’s sudden shifts in personality. How he would be so sweet, so kind and soft. How he made sure you were enjoying yourself, made sure you ate to your heart's content, made sure you were comfortable in your uniform and your sleeping quarters. Then he would be yelling at everyone, demanding unspeakable exercises and work.
If Ace were there with you, he would’ve called bullshit. Still, you trusted Jamil to start. You actually believed he was kind and had good intentions. You believed that Kalim was the real evil here.
Then he wouldn’t let you and Grim leave, and the students were suddenly so aggressive toward you. He took everything you had and stripped you of your dignity and pride until there was nothing left but fight.
Truly, you didn’t realize it was him that was the issue until he was over-blotting in front of your eyes. It wasn’t an unusual sight to you at that point, you’d defeated multiple overblots and befriended these people. You don’t know what it was. The way you’d trusted him. The fact that you felt truly alone without Ace and Deuce. This one broke you…
You just didn’t feel a damn thing after he was saved. You felt no pity, no joy, no relief. Absolutely nothing, an empty void in your chest. Even as everyone around you celebrated, there was nothing. You stood watching everyone parade around with glee blankly, unable to speak to anyone around you. Just listening to the voices that had begun to mesh together.
You didn’t show anything until Ace and Deuce showed up. Something about their faces, the way they were looking over you, the way they seemed so scared for your wellbeing… it made you cry. It made you cry and cry and cry until you couldn’t make any noise and then you cried some more. They had to drag you away from everyone because you just couldn’t quite stand upright when Deuce would try to get you to walk away with him…
The days after were blurry. You remained holed up in your dorm, unable to really move from your bed. Ace and Deuce stayed in their own separate room next to yours. You could hear them talking through the walls about how worried they were about you, how angry they were at Jamil, how angry they were at themselves for not getting there in time to help you. If you’d had the energy, you would’ve scolded them for being so hard on themselves, but you could hardly speak in the first place.
They cared for you as best as they could. Deuce attempted to cook the recipes Trey sent him over magicam, making sure you ate and stayed hydrated. Occasionally you’d hear Azul downstairs, and Deuce would give you something nice from the Monstrolounge — free of charge, he promised. You could tell that he wasn’t sleeping much in his worry over you. 
Grim remained at your side as loyal as a dog and boasting that he’d keep you safe, but you knew he was scared too. He proclaimed that he would keep you safe, but you could feel him trembling at every sudden noise. You had to comfort him from the horrific nightmares he was having. That was okay, though, he was family and you were his.
Ace was the only one who really kicked your ass into gear. He’d tug you out of bed and into the shower as people began to return from winter break. Made you go on walks around campus to show you that you were completely safe. Eventually, he’d been able to get you to visit Azul to thank him directly for his kindness. He wasn’t soft or gentle with you, that wasn’t in his character at all, but he made sure you felt safe enough to return to classes before they started.
They both worked hard to help you recover, but you were still so afraid…
Ace
-Ace isn’t exactly the most comforting person, and he never claimed to be. 
-He’s not good at reassuring people, but he’s good at being honest, and if he was being honest he knew that you were safe around him and Deuce.
-He walks you to and from classes, spends most of his nights in your dorm doing whatever the hell you’d like him to do without complaint, distracts you when you’re freaking out, and most importantly keeps that snake as far away from you as possible.
-If he was being honest with himself, which was his whole thing, he didn’t really get your reaction to everything. 
-You’ve all been through this before, it's textbook at this point. A guy does some shady shit, a guy gets caught doing said shady shit, a guy overblots, and you defeat a guy with the power of friendship. Boom. Done.
-He’d get it more if you were completely alone, but grim and the octanivelle freaks were there! Kalim too, and he’s always seemed pretty nice. Not the best company, sure, but still you had people helping you out.
-When he looks at your face and sees how tired you are, he forgets the logical stuff. All he can hear are those horrific sobs you let out when you saw him and how you nearly ripped his uniform in half with how tightly you were holding him and Deuce.
-If that was too much for him, he can’t imagine how badly it must’ve felt for you. How bad it must still feel.
-So screw what he thinks, he’s gotta make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
-He doesn’t ask you how you’re feeling, he knows it's not good. He focuses on keeping your mind off of everything that might trigger you.
-Reroutes your paths to classes to avoid Jamil and Kalim completely. Sure it’s longer and more annoying, but it's better than you going dead silent and shutting him and everyone else out again.
-He does everything in his power and you’re doing so well… and then the VDC happens. 
-You’re given the title of manager and you’re forced to be around these people who terrify you. 
-Vil won’t budge on anything and sevens Ace wishes Rook would let him try out a little target practice with the (illegal) bow and arrows he’s got in his room.
-He keeps himself between you and Jamil at all costs. He won’t let Jamil bother you at all, not that he was trying in the first place.
-The real issue is Kalim, which sounds crazy, but it’s true.
-Kalim is so… forceful. A pretty strong word, but honestly the only one Ace can think to use.
-He’s really nice, really sweet, seriously such a good guy… but you’re still unsettled by him.
-There are several times during practices that Ace has to yell at him to just leave you alone.
-Sure, it gets him a pretty big scolding from Vil, but he couldn’t care less honestly. He doesn’t wanna risk you having a panic attack because Vil doesn’t wanna be a responsible leader.
-You confide in Ace a lot. How you really want to move past all this, but Crowley won’t provide you with any form of therapy, and you’re just not ready to forgive Jamil or Kalim for what happened.
-He won’t tell you this, but hearing you talk like this breaks his heart.
-You’re normally so strong, so brave, so confident… and now you’re absolutely broken.
-He’s proud of you for putting on a brave face to placate Vil, but he’s angry you have to.
-Surprisingly, though, you do begin to warm up to Kalim. Just a little. 
-It's only when Ace, Deuce, or Grim is around, but it's a really big step forward in his eyes.
-You’re getting back to where you used to be little by little.
-He still won’t give you or Jamil the chance to reconcile, but you honestly couldn’t be more grateful for that.
Deuce
-Deuce is incredibly different from Ace in how he handles everything.
-He’s a delinquent, sure, but he’s a Mama’s boy at heart. Therefore, he’s much more equipped to help you emotionally through all this than Ace.
-Where Ace is the harsh pushing force to keep you going, Deuce is the calm where you can rest and cry your heart out for as long as you need.
-As I mentioned, he makes sure you’re eating and drinking and at least speaking to someone.
-He asks Trey for recipes without leading on to what’s going on and asks Cater for advice on helping someone feel safe after a traumatic experience.
-It’s not subtle, but it helps.
-He handles making all your meals, even though he isn’t the best cook, he absolutely puts all his heart and soul into everything he makes.
-A good portion of his days are dedicated to cooking for you, and he gets pretty damn good at it by the time classes start up again!
-With Sam’s shop closed, he has to go into town to get the ingredients he needs, and then he has to spend hours preparing and serving the food.
-He watches you eat, encouraging you that everything is safe and that he made it all by himself by hand. 
-He doesn’t question why things ended up this way for you, he wonders how can I help?
-And he does help, a lot, more than just with food.
-Sometimes, late at night, he hears you crying alone in your room. He gets up from his own bed, quietly enters your room, and holds you and grim while you both tremble in fear.
-It makes him so mad. Mad that this happened to you. Mad that Jamil did this in the first place. Mad that he couldn’t help more than he already is. 
-Like Ace, he accompanies you to all your classes and makes sure to stay close to your side if any Scarabia students are around.
-He’ll go anywhere you need him to, and if you’re not comfortable being alone and he’s got plans, you’re invited to join him. No matter what anyone else thinks.
-Things get better little by little. You make strides in your ability to be independent again and you’re smiling and joking around like you used to. You even agreed to try out for the VDC with him and Ace… a big mistake.
-He didn’t expect to actually get in, let alone get in with Jamil and Kalim. If it were just that he could’ve been civil, but no, you had to be dragged in too… because that’s always how it works out.
-He has to hold himself from getting in Jamil’s face more than once because just him looking at you is enough to send you into a clear panic attack.
-Deuce does his best to comfort you between all of this, though. Being your shoulder to cry on and trying his best to be your protector… it's just hard. Hard to see you like that, and hard to keep his cool for your sake.
-It's worse with Kalim because both you and Deuce know he means well. You both know he wants to reconcile, but you’re not quite ready.
-Deuce helps the confrontation with the two feel a bit easier though. He acts as a mediator between you and Kalim, and eventually, he’s proud to say he helped you trust Kalim just a little bit.
-Jamil… both of you could use some work, but Deuce is more willing to hear you out on him than Ace is.
Grim
-Grim was there with you the whole time. He understands the fear you’re feeling deeper than anyone else.
-He could just tell something was wrong the second he saw your face. Despite all the celebrations, he was focused on making sure you were at least a little okay.
-He tried to talk to you, tried to make you feel okay, but the only comfort he could offer you was letting you hold him while you cried.
-He could still hear your cries, and they made him want to cry too. He almost did, but he was your guard cat — he had to be strong for you.
-Unlike Ace and Deuce, he never left your side. Not a second. He was there with you from the moment you were unwittingly kidnapped to the sleepless nights in your dorm to the horror of finding out you’d have to work closely with Jamil for the VDC.
-He made his distaste for him very known, sure to make a snarky comment at least once every time he saw him. 
-It was so bad, at one point, that Vil had to give him a stern talking to. He didn’t stop regardless.
-You are Grim’s best friend, the only family he has, and Jamil hurt you in unspeakable ways. He couldn’t just sit back and be okay with that.
-He’s really such a good guy.
Kalim
-Kalim means well. With his whole heart, he has the best intentions… just not the best execution.
-See, he didn’t notice initially that anything was really wrong the whole time.
-He didn’t suspect Jamil at all. In fact, he thought that you were really enjoying your stay in Scarabia, you seemed so happy and chatty up until Jamil flipped things on their head.
-Call him air-headed, but he was caught up in his own whirlwind of emotions at the time. You know, the whole betrayal of his supposed best friend took a toll on him too.
-It wasn’t until you were sobbing your throat raw that he realized something was really wrong.
-The look of sheer terror on your face when you made eye contact with him sent shivers up his spine.
-He knew that look. He’d worn that look on his own face too many times as a young child.
-Believe it or not, without Jamil’s intervention, he knew to keep his distance. He knew he had to give you time to adjust.
-Then a few days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a little over a month, and he had hardly seen you around campus.
-You are avoiding your normal route to class, and when he did see you he was also greeted by the harsh glares of your good friends.
-He understood if you’d never want to talk to him ever again, honestly. He couldn’t blame you. You were more headstrong than him, after all.
-Still, when the VDC came around… he was hopeful. Truly he was hoping that something would give.
-He would talk to you in hopes of showing you that he meant no harm, but Ace or Deuce or even Grim would shove their way between the two of you.
-Several times Jamil had to tell him to knock it off because “It’s not worth forcing.”
-Still, he wanted you to know he felt bad. He felt horrible.
-In a very un-Kalim-like move, he quietly asks you if you can speak with him. Alone. But in a crowded enough area that you wouldn’t feel threatened.
-He didn’t expect you to accept it, he wouldn’t have blamed you at all. But you said yes. 
-You showed up, with Grim by your side, which was fine. He earned some apologies too.
-He poured his heart out to you, apologizing for things that he couldn’t even control. In turn, he listened to you rant about how scared you were, how angry you were, how you wished you were any of these things.
-And after that, things improved. Slowly, but surely. You became more comfortable around him, and you spoke to him again.
-Sure, you wouldn’t be caught dead at one of Scarabia’s parties, but you considered him a friend. 
-That’s all he could ask for.
Jamil
-Jamil is the monster in your story. 
-He’s the evil guy who kidnapped, manipulated and lied to you.
-He’s the one who used his misplaced anger as an excuse to hurt others.
-He’s the boogyman who made you endure days of long and hard training, just because he could.
-Of course, he felt bad. What he did was unspeakable, but he was more concerned with how his reputation would last after the overblot.
-More concerned with it not getting out for the safety of his family.
-Even with you sobbing, he just thought you were being dramatic in all honesty. You have a reputation already, he knew you’d been through this whole thing before.
-It didn’t really strike him how badly it affected you.
-He didn’t notice how you switched paths, how you were never in the same area as him for long, and the glares of your friends never once phased him.
-Even Ace’s snarky comments during basketball didn’t bother him for a second.
It wasn’t until he accidentally bumped into you in the hallway, and he saw the look on your face that he realized.
-The terror in your eyes, the way you shrunk back as if he would strike you. It was the same way his parents acted around the Asim’s.
-If he were a more insane man, he might’ve found it liberating, but it wasn’t.
-He had become what he hated to you, he had done what he hated to you. 
-Jamil was not only your monster, but he was his own.
-He steers clear of you and keeps as much distance as possible for both your sakes.
-He couldn’t handle someone looking at him like that, and he was sure you couldn’t handle the sight of him after what he did.
-Still, this is NRC, and luck is never on anyone's side here.
-Both of you are forced into a position where you cannot escape the other, you have to learn to live with the awful pits in your stomachs.
-He keeps Kalim away until you both are on good terms, then he simply watches quietly.
-He won’t apologize, he won’t antagonize, he won’t speak unless spoken to.
-You two never truly recover your small lasting friendship, but you do make amends with each other.
-During the trip to the scalding sands, you get to meet Najma, whom he’s confided in about ‘accidentally upsetting a classmate’.
-You get to have a good talk with her, and it makes you really realize some things about Jamil.
-You realize he’s just as broken as you, just as tired as you, and that he feels the most immense amount of guilt for hurting you.
-You, being you, find it in your soul to forgive him.
-Nothing really changes between you. The guilt is still there, and the fear still shakes you to your core, but you both have closure.
-In a situation like this, closure is the best grace a person can ever have.
1K notes · View notes
onewingeddove444 · 10 months
Text
★How the bachelors would react if they accidentally made you cry
word count: 1.1k
Alex:
-would probably not even notice you're crying at first
-his expression would change so quickly
-😀😦
-kind of knew he had it coming though, since a lot of the stuff that flies out of his mouth is....well😇
-would IMMEDIATELY start taking the blame, saying things like "nahhh i didn't actually mean that i lied haha no idea why i said that i'm so stupid" ((starts blaming it on his hormones being affected by working out or something😭😭))
-hesitates at first, but pulls you into the tightest embrace you've ever felt ngl probably hurts a little lol
-his way of apologising to you is saying "you can punch me as hard as you want, i deserve it!!!!"
-starts treating you like royalty for another month, to the point where it becomes annoying
-every time you bring it up, even as a joke, he basically drops to his knees and starts apologising all over again
Elliott:
-if you thought this man was already dramatic as it is....lord🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
-would try to be cool about it, while in his head he's already pressing a dagger to his neck, saying that he has now betrayed his heart and doesn't want to go on any longer
-the moment he sees tears flowing down your face, the only word able to come out of his mouth is a soft "no, no, no..."
-he'd probably start crying with you😭😭😭
-starts whispering the most loving and kind things about yourself into your ear
-literally compares you to the most breathtaking images you could ever envision
-alternative scenario, where he just drops to the floor and starts begging for your forgiveness, even though what he said wasn't really that bad
-after that, he checks up on you every 5 minutes, to make sure you're not upset with him
-would swear on his life and soul to never hurt you again ((mind you it was never that serious😭))
-writes you so many short poems...atp they just become a whole book
Harvey:
-man....😭
-probably hurts him more than it does you lmao
-you crying would be too much for him already...but crying because of him?? ouuu
-is ready to completely retract what he said, even if he's absolutely right, that just doesn't matter to him anymore
-he just stands there for a good amount of time, since he really doesn't know how to deal with these kinds of emotions
-this might just be the first time this man has made someone cry because...let's be fr☠️
-would do that thing where he cups your cheeks and wipes your tears with his thumbs ((after that he's kinda clueless though😭))
-this literally being his worst nightmare...in his eyes hurting you is the equivalent of failing as a partner...and he's not really allowed to fail too often🙁
-would wait 30 years until you're not upset with him ((it takes you exactly 1 minute btw)), and after that it's flowers delivered to your doorstep every day of the week
-even if it were to be a one-time occurrence, he would NEVER EVER forget it, and he would always justify spoiling you with it ((using the 4 cents he makes from the clinic👎))
Sam:
-he is not that smart when it comes to verbalising thoughts please forgive him
-says things like "aw man you're crying😔😔😔😭😭“
-if he's holding a drink or eating something, he offers it to you, even if there's a single bite/sip left of it
-refuses to smile until he's 100% sure you've forgiven him, otherwise he just looks like this: :--(
-low-key fighting for his life not to pull out his phone and google "how to comfort crying person wikihow"
-once you tell him that it's okay between you two bro gets jolly, running around in circles, giggling, twirling his hair and laying down kicking his feet up
-the thing he did that upset you could've been minor, but that still doesn't stop him from saying "man...😔🤦 i'm so glad this chapter is behind us now.." like okay???😭😭😭 ((bonus points if he describes this as a "rough patch" in your relationship))
-tries making something for you after, fails miserably, resorts to showing you cool skateboard tricks he learned off of youtube
-learns his lesson and actually thinks more before he says something ((to the best of his ability))
-promises to write a song about your love and go platinum ((shows it to sebastian and gets banned from writing lyrics for the band forever))
Sebastian:
-freezes immediately
-literally unable to get a single word out, what is he supposed to do in his situation😭
-manages to whisper "i didn't mean..." and proceeds to go quiet after that
-he's been living a sheltered life for a very long time, so he's really scared that whatever he says it will only hurt you even more
-you can definitely see his expression change...not only does it soften but he looks UPSET upset, mostly with himself
-pulls you into a hug, hoping that it'll help a little bit ((it does, bro seems like a good hugger))
-asks you if there's anything he can do to cheer you up, and let me tell you he'd really do anything
-does not let you go for the rest of the day, having his arm wrapped around you, holding your hand, even if it's just the pinky fingers touching
-you have to keep reassuring him that it's okay now, he literally hits you with the "are you sure you're not mad at me?" every 3 seconds just to make sure you guys are good🙏
-lets you touch whatever you want in his room, i'm talking elementary school pictures, old sketchbooks, it's all yours, no matter how humiliating
Shane:
-um...uh😭🙅‍♀️
-yeah he is PISSED he's made you cry, he might've been mean when he first saw you, but now??? that is just not allowed in his mind idc
-jumps to self-deprecation immediately, talking about how he's an asshole, how he always fucks things up (🙁)
-just takes the whole blame on himself, no problem with that
-kind of saw this happening in the nearest future, that man does not have a very good opinion of himself let's be honest😭
-you could tell him you forgive him and he'd be like "nah don't do that wtf i don't deserve it😔"
-doesn't try comforting you at first, since he just assumes that you might never want to see him again
-but after the dust settles he reassures you that he's going to do everything to make sure this doesn't happen again
-sends you musty frozen pizza in the mail in retaliation (sigh🙁)
-would love to pretend this never happened, but making you cry really took a hit on his self-esteem, however it also made him think about how to be the best partner you can have
2K notes · View notes
steddieas-shegoes · 4 months
Text
that's what friends are for
for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'enemies to lovers' rated t wc: 996 cw: mention of hospitals and injury, mentions of selling and using recreational drugs tags: enemies is more implied than anything, getting together, canon events happening in the background
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Somewhere along the way, Steve Harrington became Eddie’s number one customer.
It was mostly by accident, and Eddie should tell him to get lost and find another supplier, but he couldn’t.
Especially not after the last time they met up in the woods and Steve looked…haunted.
But Eddie wasn’t going to let Steve’s sad puppy dog eyes convince him that he was anything other than the asshole he’d always been.
Not even when he walked up to Steve furiously wiping tears off of his cheeks.
He cleared his throat awkwardly before sitting down, trying to avoid eye contact with the man who seemed to be trying to hide the fact that he’d been having any emotion at all.
“So, the usual today?” Eddie asked.
“Uh, you got anything stronger?”
Look, Eddie knew for a fact he had plenty of stronger stuff that he could overcharge Steve for, and Steve wouldn’t even bat an eye.
But he had a pretty strict rule of never selling the strong stuff to someone who didn’t pass the mental test. Someone who was crying did not pass the mental test.
“Nah, ran out. Got a new mix though, if you’re interested. Might help you sleep if that’s somethin’ you need.”
The dark circles under Steve’s eyes told him that was exactly what he needed, but Steve shrugged and acted like he was just here for fun.
Eddie didn’t care enough to push.
That’s what he told himself, anyway.
—----------
Steve looked like shit.
“You look like shit.”
Steve rolled his eyes. Or, well, eye. The other eye was swollen and bruised, probably hurt like hell.
“Thanks for the update,” Steve said.
“Don’t think weed’s gonna fix that,” Eddie said, not looking away from the cuts and scrapes along his cheek. “At least not the kind I have.”
Eddie looked down to see more cuts and bruises along his hands, and most shocking of all, a dull red line along both wrists.
Eddie’s brows raised as he looked back up at Steve.
“You, uh, you good?” He couldn’t help asking.
Anyone would be concerned to see these injuries on anyone, even the guy you definitely don’t like or have a crush on.
“Sure. Is $20 okay today? I can get you more for next time.”
“$20 is fine.”
$20 was technically $5 more than he would normally charge anyone who isn’t an ex-jock, so it’s not like he was doing Steve a favor.
Eddie watched Steve walk away with more questions than answers.
—-----------------
Robin Buckley was sitting next to Steve at the table, kicking her feet and rambling on about who knows what.
Steve wasn’t looking at her, but he could tell he was listening.
“I don’t usually like to be outnumbered, but something tells me I can handle myself if Buckley decides to throw a punch,” Eddie said as he walked towards the table.
Robin suddenly froze and tilted her head.
“Steve, why is Eddie here? You said we were meeting a friend.”
“Is that what we call buying drugs from someone these days?” Eddie laughed. “Times have changed.”
Steve rolled his eyes, but couldn’t quite hide a small smile.
Eddie tried not to feel flustered about making Steve smile.
“Well, I see you more than most people, so I’d say we’re friend-adjunct,” Steve said, handing over the usual $20.
“He means friend-adjacent,” Robin added, not unkindly.
Eddie nodded once.
“Well, if that’s all, your friend has another friend to meet behind the McDonald’s. All good here?”
“All good. Thanks.”
“Anything for a friend,” he winked.
—-------------------
He was pushing Steve against a wall, broken bottle to his neck.
“This doesn’t seem very friendly,” Steve said breathlessly.
Eddie held him there for a moment, then let out a small laugh, slowly releasing his grip.
“I have to be careful about who I consider a friend right now, man,” Eddie said, ignoring Dustin’s confused voice yelling behind him.
“We’re here to help. As friends.”
Steve’s eyes were big, that look that left Eddie wondering how he’d gone from hating him so much to wanting to understand everything about him.
“Not sure if you can help me.”
“We’re gonna.”
Steve sounded so sure. Eddie had no option but to trust him.
—-----------------------
“Hey, Wayne. Anything new today?” Steve’s voice whispered when he entered the room.
Eddie’s eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep.
They’d lowered his dose of pain meds slowly over the last 48 hours and he was barely getting any sleep as he adjusted to the constant aches of the bites.
“He’s tired. Nothin’ new, though. You okay?”
“Yeah. You got a shift?”
“Yep. Should be back by lunch tomorrow.”
“See you then.”
Eddie didn’t know how it happened, but Steve trading shifts with Wayne was an everyday occurrence.
They got to know each other, relaxing more as the days wore on, no end in sight for Eddie’s hospitalization.
“You know, I’m okay alone for a bit,” Eddie said as he opened his eyes.
“Nah, I’d rather be here.”
“Really?”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” 
Eddie nodded. “Yeah.” He frowned. “Is that what we are? Friends?”
Steve slowly reached over and grasped his hand. 
“Is that all we are?”
Eddie thought back to how he used to dread running into Steve at school, mostly out of his own fear that he would harbor a crush on him. He thought about how he wondered why the boy who seemed untouchable in high school looked so fragile last summer and how he could help. He thought about the guy who didn’t have to risk his life to save him from monsters made sure everyone was safe so he could rescue him.
“I don’t think friends sit in the hospital for days like this,” he finally settled on.
“I don’t think friends have crushes on their friends for years, either.”
If Steve didn’t follow those words with a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, he probably wouldn’t have believed them. 
562 notes · View notes
imtryingbuck · 3 months
Text
Eighteen
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.
Word count: 5,786
Warnings: fluff, angst, heavy use of pet names. eating humans (doesn’t happen obviously and it’s only said as a joke) mentions of cheating, mentions of past suicide attempt
A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.
Masterlist   Series Masterlist
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It had been three years since she was last at home, three years at private school and it was amazing for her. 
She made friends with two of the girls there Natasha and Wanda, they had introduced themselves to her first and Wanda shyly had asked if Y/n would like to be their friend, she hesitated at first but eventually said yes which brought a huge smile to Wanda’s face and a shy smile to Nat’s.
They accepted her with open arms and Nat even enjoyed playing in the mud and climbing trees with Y/n. When that fateful day came where they saw her scars she panicked and knew that they wouldn’t want to be her friends anymore but instead of judgemental or looks of horror Wanda burst out crying and pulled her in to a bone crushing hug whilst Nat stood there cursing in Russian. For the first time since James she opened up to what had happened to her.
Not even Steve knew the whole story, especially not Sam. Sam had heard things but chose not to listen; he chose to wait until she had said something herself.
Once she had finished telling them everything she was comforting the two red heads reminding them that she was okay now.
It had felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and for the first time she felt like she could breathe.
If you saw one of the girls the other two was close behind.
Throughout the three years that had passed she had heard about Bucky, Sam and Steve from her parents. The boys had showed up a few days after she had left so James could apologise and when they found out she had gone James started to cry, Steve and Sam too. When she heard about that she wanted to go back home to make up with her boys fighting with herself on whether or not she should but ultimately she decided that she wasn’t going anywhere. James had made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t her friend and that he never wanted to be in the first place.
It was a hard decision for her to make but luckily she had Nat and Wanda by her side supporting her.
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Now that school was over she was heading back home, she had decided she didn’t want to go to college and after a bit of back and forth with her parents - especially her mom - they agreed to let her do what she wanted to do.
“We’ll see each other in a month Wands don’t cry” she says hugging Wanda who was in fact balling her eyes out.
“A month is so long away an-and what will I do if I’ve forgotten your face or-or your voice?” Ever so dramatically Wanda cried.
“Really? Really Wands it’s four weeks you’re not going to forget anything about me and if you do I’ll have to punch you in the arm”
“Please don’t, but you’re right. I’ll just have to go on living without you my friend, go go leave and don’t look back, I don’t think my heart could take it” Wanda says bringing one hand across her face and the other clutching her chest.
Y/n looks at Nat who stands there with one eyebrow raised “this…this is our best friend”
“I know. Wand why do you have to be so dramatic all the time?”
“Hey I’m not dramatic I’m traumatised!”
Nat and Y/n burst out laughing, shaking their heads at the red head. “Traumatised? Wanda I love you but you my friend are so dramatic”
“I’m trying to be…emotional and romantic well not romantic because even though I love you Y/n I have to admit baby girl you’re not my type”
“Don’t say that-“ Nat says quickly but gets cut off.
“I-I’m not y-your type? H-how dare you!”
“Great just great, look everyone these two weirdo’s are my best friends!” Nat shouts pointing at her friends.
“I have to be honest with myself Y/n/n okay, I can’t keep lying to you it-it’s not fair, I’m sorry” Wanda says in a wobbly voice.
“No, no I understand. I’m just not good enough for you and that’s the truth! Don’t keep lying to yourself Wanda!”
“Guys please stop…” Nat butts in.
“Great you’ve upset our daughter!” Wanda shouts throwing her hands in the air.
“Me? Me? Well guess Wanda she might not even be yours! That’s right I cheated on you with your father!”
“W-what? H-how could you? I loved you”
“But you don’t love me anymore now the truth can be out there!”
“To be fair Wanda could possibly be my dad because we both have red hair…”
“She gets her attitude from you Y/n, how could you do this to us?”
“Us? You’re the one that literally just said I wasn’t your type!”
“Guys please, I don’t want to come from a broken home”
“Oh Natty come here sweetie me and your maybe father was just playing” Y/n says opening her arms for Nat to shuffle into. Wanda then wraps her arms around the pair.
“Well ladies that was a very moving performance if I do say so myself but it’s time for you to break it up and leave” Mr Walters says from the steps leading up to the school.
“Right, sorry sir. Emotional day” Y/n speaks first.
“A lot of truth came out sir, we needed it” Wanda then says.
“Wanda might not be my father sir, I’m so depressed” Nat shrugs.
“I’m…I’m actually traumatised because of you three. Thanks for that.”
“Rude. Well goodbye sir, thanks for being the best teacher ever!” Y/n waves.
“Bye ladies, good luck with everything” he says walking back in to the school, he had to admit that he was going to miss seeing the trio and miss their antics.
“You’re such a teacher’s pet” Nat laughed.
“It’s called respect madam, something you clearly don’t have for your mother!”
“Y/n, baby it’s time to go” Maria interrupts whatever Nat was going to say.
“Coming. Well ladies I guess this is it, it’s been a pleasure knowing you but this is where the curtains close, I bid you adieu.” Y/n bows.
“And I’m called dramatic” rolling her eyes Wanda bows too.
“Alright guess I’ve got to do the same” Nat follows along.
“But no in all seriousness I’m so glad I met you and I’m forever grateful to the pair of you”
“Always Y/n you know this, we’ll always be friends no matter what and we’ll see each other next month” Nat said as she pulls Y/n into a hug.
“I love you both” Wanda says wrapping her arms around her friends.
Pulling away they all smile at each other.
“Last one to their parents cars are a rotten egg in 3…2…1” 
They take off running to their parents; Y/n first, Nat second and Wanda third.
“No fair! You guys know I’m terrible at running!” Wanda shouts from her parents’ car.
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The drive home was filled with conversations, laughter and catching up. It had been six months since they had seen her in that six months she looked more grown up, more sure of herself, happier.
Maria couldn’t help but smile as her daughter rambled on about what her and her friends had been getting up to. Amazed by how she looked so much like her mama, Maria made it her sole mission to make sure Y/n got a few photographs of her and her mama from the hell hole of a house she grew up in. Maria had kept one for herself it was a photo of Y/n who was roughly three or four years old with her arms wrapped around her mamas neck who had a baby Y/n in her arms as they stood outside a cabin, both smiling widely as the camera captured a beautiful moment between mother and daughter.
It was only after seeing that photograph that Maria understood where Y/n had gotten her crazy unruly hair from, Maria knew that Y/n was blessed to have taken her looks and traits from such a beautiful woman.
Y/n didn’t know that her momma would go to her mamas grave and put fresh flowers down every weekend or how she would sit on the hard ground and speak to the woman she never met before and talk for hours telling her how their daughter was growing, how she was cheeky and caring, how smart she was. Or how just before she would leave the grave where her birth mom laid Maria would place a kiss to her fingers and place them on the headstone and say “thank you my friend” because yes even though she had never met the woman and that she was no longer alive she had become Maria’s friend, and every time she thanked the woman it was for giving her a wonderful gift, Y/n.
“-mom? Momma are you even listening?” Y/n says.
“Oh, sorry darling yes I’m listening”
“No you weren’t but it’s okay I was just saying that Nat had found a rat in her bag and she screamed so loudly it nearly burst my eardrums”
“To be truthful I would have done the same thing” Maria chuckles.
“I know! I had to calm it down because it had gotten scared, I mean well so would I if I had Nat screaming and trying to hit me with a bag” Y/n giggles.
Shaking her head she was so happy that Y/n had Nat and Wanda as friends, they treat her good and were really amazing friends to her daughter. When she met the two red heads she was taken back by watching their dynamic and how well Y/n fit in so perfectly.
“Natasha’s reaction was perfectly justifiable” she points out.
“That’s true but she could have calmed down, I was there and we all know I’m great at talking to animals and calming them down” she smirks.
“Very true angel, listen…please don’t be mad-“
“No…dad you both promised!”
“It wasn’t our idea angel but George’s and Winnie’s, darling they’ve missed you-“
“A party dad? I suck at those things”
“It’s not a party but more like a get together-“
“So a party. Uncle George and Aunt Winnie don’t do “get togethers” dad and you know that”
“Well it’s happening and you’re going to enjoy it, you’re going to smile and have a good time and you’ll thank George and Winnie afterwards” Howard speaks.
“Yes Master”
“Good boy”
“Treat?”
“Not yet”
“Do you want me to give you my paw?”
“Mar our dog talks way too much, I told you we should have gone with a German shepherd and not a Chihuahua”
“Oi I’m not a Chihuahua! If I had to be a dog I probably would be basset hound…”
“Why?”
“They’re so cute and lazy and small”
Howard lets out a booming laugh as he nods, Y/n joins in whilst Maria looks at the driver who’s trying not to laugh “would you be a dear and crash the car for me please?”
“No don’t, I can’t get a treat if I’m dead” Y/n laughs out causing Howard to laugh even louder.
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“‘A get together’ yeah alright dad! It’s like the whole world is here” she scoffs.
“Don’t be so dramatic, come on and don’t forget to smile”
Half of the people who had showed up she didn’t even know and the ones she did were either nice to her or people who helped to torment her but doing as her father said she smiled at everyone, saying her thanks when people congratulated her for graduating school.
“My sweetie!” Winnie’s loud voice came from across the garden, Y/n watched at the woman who she’s missed dearly nearly runs over to her.
“Miss Winnie, I’ve missed you!” She wraps her arms around her third mother figure.
“I’ve missed you too my sweet baby, oh look at you! All so grown up and so bloody beautiful, where’s that’s little girl who broke my heart all them years ago gone?”
“I killed her and buried her in the backyard but don’t tell my momma or dada that” she giggled.
“I won’t don’t worry your secrets safe with me” Winnie winked.
“Is-is that…no I don’t believe my eyes. It’s my darling girl!” George shouts ignoring all the looks that get thrown his way as he makes his way over to Y/n and Winnie.
“Hi Mr George”
“Oh my, you’re as beautiful as ever!” He picks her up and spins her around just as he did when she was little “oof and your heavier”
“George!” Winnie scolds.
“What have they been feeding you at that school hey missy?” He asks completely ignoring his wife.
“Humans from all over the world” she winks with a shoulder shrug.
“Are they nice? I’ve been thinking of getting into eating humans” 
“Honestly? I recommend that you should, tasty” she laughs, George and Winnie joining in.
“On a serious note though, I’ve missed you darling and I’m so proud of you. And please remember I love you, you’ve always been our daughter too. Oh God I’m so fucking proud of you” George says with tears in his eyes as he remembers the first day he met her, how small and scruffy she was, how scared she look. After what that monster did to her he was scared that she wasn’t going to survive. It’s true though, he and Winnie saw her as their daughter before Howard and Maria adopted her.
“I love you both too and I will forever be indebted to you both”
“Nonsense silly girl” Winnie says.
“Are you trying to steal my daughter away?” Howard laughs as he walks over.
“Obviously, the plan is to knock you and Maria out and I’m going to kidnap this one” George says.
Howard laughs which has George turning to Y/n “he thinks I’m joking, but I’m not”
“Don’t wind him up” she laughs.
She’s oblivious to the conversation that’s happening on the other side of the garden as she laughs with her parents and surrogate parents.
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“My sweetie!” He hears his mother call out and he knows instantly that Y/n has arrived as he looks in the direction his mother is making her way over to his breath gets caught in his throat.
His Bunny.
His Bunny all grown up.
His Bunny all grown up and looking just as beautiful as she looked the last time he saw her.
There hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where he hadn’t regretted this shit that spewed out of his mouth that day. When he found out that she had left it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on a million times.
Of course he was never friends with her out of pity, she was easy to talk to, she made him laugh, she was his best friend, his person.
His soulmate as Winnie would say.
But every day he reminded himself that he only had himself to blame.
“I-is that…” Steve questioned with his eyes trained on his best friend who he hasn’t seen in three years.
“Bunny” Bucky nods.
“Holy shit she’s gorgeous” Sam says.
“Yeah she is” Bucky agrees.
“When are you going to talk to her?” Steve asks.
“I’m not. She’s not going to want to talk to me, not after what I said the last time we saw each other”
“That was three years ago Buck, it’s Y/n she’s no doubt forgiven you”
“I doubt it. Steve you have no idea how sad she looked man”
“Bro just go and talk to her” Sam says taking a sip of his beer.
“I-I can’t, are you two going to talk to her?”
“Yeah…well I was going to wait for her reaction with you first before making my way over to her” Steve admits.
“Same if she hits you then I’m staying away but if she doesn’t then yeah of course I’ll talk to her”
“Cheers” Bucky grumbles his eyes refusing to move away from her.
They all watch as she laughs with her parents and Bucky’s, they don’t stop the smile from forming onto their lips as they watch their best friend.
They all carried their own guilt from three years ago and all silently hope that she forgives them for what happened.
“Buck go and talk to her” Steve tries to encourage his friend mainly so he could then talk to her.
“Yeah…yeah I’m going to do it” he puts his drink down on the table before straightening his shirt out.
Just as he was about to take that first step closer to his Bunny he stutters when he sees a tall bulky guy with blonde hair walk up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, watching as she squeals turning around in the guys hold.
He watches as she places her hands on either side of his face and places her lips to his.
He’s pretty certain that he hears his heart breaking.
“Buck…”
“Huh? Yeah?”
“A-are you alright?”
“I’m fine, so she’s got a boyfriend that’s cool” he turns to pick his drink back up and downs it in one gulp. “Do-do you think she’s happy?”
Steve and Sam share a look before answering. “We’re not sure pal”
“I hope she is, t-that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.”
They continue to watch as Y/n introduces the guy to Bucky’s parents and they can tell instantly that Winnie’s smile is fake, she’s always been the one rooting for Y/n and James to get together. The smile on Y/n’s face is as big as it ever was as she stares up at the guy.
“How do you think they met?” Bucky asks.
“God knows, but as long as he treats her right that’s all that matters really.” Sam says eyeing Bucky cautiously.
“I hope so”
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As the party winds down the boys not barely moving apart from Sam as he raids the table with all the food on it. They watch as the blonde guy leaves, not without having a make out session with Y/n.
As the guests start leaving Bucky’s quick to notice that Y/n is no longer around and when George stumbles over to the boys he finds out that Y/n’s disappeared and wonders if they had seen her, they all shake their heads.
“I think I might know where she is, hold on”
He makes his way down to the bottom of the garden and climbs over the fence, really hoping he was right.
“Bunny” he whispers when he sees her sitting on the ground in the spot they claimed as theirs, the same spot he first laid eyes on her when he was just seven years old.
“Hi James” she whispers back keeping her back to him.
“C-can I sit next to you?”
“Sure”
For the first time since the two have known each other they sit side by side in uncomfortable silence. It pains the both of them that this is how it’s come down to this.
But unfortunately it had.
“So-um-how are you?” Bucky asked as he stumbled over his words.
“I’m good, what about you?”
“Good, that’s good. I-I’ve missed you Bunny” he admits, his heart squeezing when he sees her flinching.
“Oh”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I just don’t know why you would have missed me when you didn’t want me to be your friend anymore or ever”
“I didn’t mean it Bun I swear. I was angry an-and I took it out on you, I’ve regretted it ever since”
“Why was you angry? I’m the one that had my back exposed to the whole school and the three people who were my only friends, the only people I trusted more than anything didn’t try and stop it or-or even try and help me. You had no right in being angry James” he hates how she doesn’t raise her voice and hates that she calls him James.
“I know and I’m sorry Y/n I really am”
“It’s okay I guess.”
“No it’s not! None of the shit I said or didn’t do was okay, you’re my best friend Bun and I should have stuck up for you. I shouldn’t have said I chose Dot over you because you always came first no matter what”
“It’s okay because it doesn’t matter anymore, I got over it”
“Over it or over me?”
“Honestly? Both”
Bucky released a choking sob at her admission, she had gotten over him and he didn’t know what to do. “Bun-“
“You shouldn’t call me that James, don’t want to upset your girlfriend”
“I-I don’t have a girlfriend”
“What happened with Dot?”
“She-I walked in on her having sex with Brock”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she said it was a one time thing but he said they’d been at it for months so…”
“I’m sorry, I never liked her”
“Did you even know her?”
“No…what kind of name is Dot anyway?”
“It’s short for Dolores” he laughed.
“Stupid name for a stupid girl. How long were you two dating for?”
“A year, actually walked in on them the day after our one year anniversary”
“That’s cold”
“Yeah. What about you? Lover boy back there” he watches as her cheeks start to turn red and a shy smile on her lips, his heart pounds loudly in his chest at the sight.
“His names Pietro, w-we’ve been dating for five months now”
“How did you two meet?”
“He’s actually my best friends twin brother, we met when her family came up to see Wanda and she introduced us and yeah, he asked me out on a date and then another and another then he asked me out”
“Does he make you happy?”
“He does, well when he’s not talking with his mouth full” she giggled, and for the first time in over three years she looks up at him. Breath gets caught in her throat as he’s looking just as beautiful as he looked the last time she saw him.
“I’m glad, not about the food in mouth when he talks thing but I’m glad he makes you happy”
Not knowing how to reply they fell back into silence but this time it was comfortable.
Y/n was the first one to break the silence “do you know if anyone lives in my old house?”
“No one wanted to move in after…you know”
“Oh. Have you ever been there?”
“Once, I didn’t go in or anything I just stood outside”
“When?”
“A few months after you left. I’m not sure why I did it but” Y/n stood up and held her hand out for James to take and helped him stand, pulling her hand away from his once he was stood up she started to walk in the direction of her old home.
“Come on slow pokes” she called over her shoulder.
“Y/n are you sure about this?”
“My therapist said that it might help me to be able to finally move on”
“You’re in therapy?”
“Yeah, mom said it might help after what I did”
“W-what do you mean?”
“I tried to kill myself” she shrugged.
As she carried on walking she hadn’t realised that Bucky had stopped. She had tried to end her life and no one told him. Bucky had lost her as his friend and nearly lost her in this world completely and no one told him.
“Ducky?”
His heart stopped at that name.
“Duck? Come on we’re not that far now”
“Y-you called me Ducky”
“Well yeah that’s your name isn’t it?” She smirked.
“Bunny please don’t joke about this. You called me Ducky even though we’re not friends anymore”
“You’ll always be Ducky to me James. And who said we’re not friends anymore?”
“We-we aren’t?”
“Nope, we said we’d be friends forever and forever hasn’t ended yet so therefore our friendship is still intact, come”
“B-but what I said”
“It��s in the past”
“Can we go back to being Bunny and Ducky again?”
“Well of course, that’s if you actually did want to be my friend and not just doing it out of pit-“
A loud squeal echoed through the woods as Bucky charged at her picking her up as if she weighed nothing and spun her around. “I never meant what I said Bun never not for one second, please forgive me and I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you”
“Buy me an ice cream and all is forgiven”
Laughing he puts her down slowly and nods “I can do that. Bun”
“Yeah”
“Yo-you tried to kill yourself?”
“Yeah, it was about a year ago”
“Why did you try and do it? Why wasn’t I told?”
“I was in a dark place Duck, remember my special place?-“ she taps the side of her head and watches as he nods “-well it wasn’t special anymore and-well I don’t want to get in to it but it got bad so I wanted to end it”
Rolling her sleeves up she showed Bucky the two angry long scars on her arms, he slowly reached out and gently glided a finger down the scars. “Nat found me in the bathroom and screamed out for Wanda who went and got a teacher, Mr Walters came running and picked me up rushed me to the schools nurse and I was taken to the hospital when an ambulance arrived. My parents were called and I begged them not to tell anyone that included your parents Ducky, they don’t know.”
“Bunny…”
“I’m okay now though, yeah I have bad days still but it’s not as bad as it had been and Dr Cho is incredible, she’s so sweet and she’s never once judged me about anything and she makes me laugh, oh and she always has sweets!”
“I should have been with you Bun, I’m so sorry I let you down”
“Hey none of that! It’s not your fault at all, mental health is a bitch-shit-fuck-please don’t tell momma I swore!”
“You still don’t swear?” Bucky laughs.
“No momma says it’s unladylike”
“You? A lady?” He has to stop walking and bends over with laughter.
“Oh shut up! I could be a lady”
“Never!”
Y/n knows it’s true herself but that was beside the point.
“Shut up. Come on I need your support to get this over and done with”
“I’m coming Bun, are you sure you want me here with you?”
“Always”
The rest of the walk was done in silence and before she realises she’s standing in front on the wired fence surrounding her old home. Looking at Bucky she musters a smile that he knows is fake and presses down on the fence and climbs over.
Waiting for Bucky to do the same she stares at the slowly decaying building that’s haunted her nightmares since she was seven years old. The ivy wraps itself around the house, windows are smashed from either Mother Nature, kids playing in the woods or animals. For some reason the building looks just like it’s supposed to - a building. She feels quite silly for letting it terrorise her dreams now that she’s standing in front of it, it doesn’t seem so scary now.
“Bun, we don’t have to go in if you don’t want to” Bucky’s gentle voice came from next to her.
“No I’ve got to, I’ve got to put the monster to bed once and for all. It’s-it-can we just wait out here for a few minutes, please?”
“Of course Bun. I’m right here”
A few minutes go by and she finally puts one foot out in front of the other, taking slow steps towards the place she once called home a very long time ago now. Her chest starts to feel tighter as she got closer to her nightmare.
Pushing the door open Bucky stepped up first knocking the cobwebs out of the way before moving back to where he was before.
“Thanks” she whispered.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. She chanted softly to herself as she forced her feet to move forward.
It was weird. As she walked further into the cabin she saw the small dinning table laying on its side, the two chairs broken and the small dingy couch still in the same spot as they were that night her father nearly killed her.
The floorboards creaked under their feet as they moved around the place.
“Th-this is where it happened” she whispers to Bucky as they stand in the middle of the room.
“Bun-“
“That’s my blood Duck” she points to the faded blood stains on the floor.
“Bun-“
“It’s creepy isn’t it? I laid right there and was on my way to play with angels before the cops showed up and now my blood is stained into the wood”
“Bun look at me, come on Bun look at me. Good, it’s okay. It’s all okay”
“I-I know it’s just creepy isn’t it?”
“Yeah, yeah it is”
“Can I show you my room?”
“Okay”
Walking down the hallway she comes to a stop in front of the first door on the right and she starts to push the wooden door open, both wincing as the hinges squeak.
“Nothings changed in here ah” Y/n moves over to the tiny desk her mama had gotten her she smiles “look…”
“It’s a stick Bun”
“Ah nope it’s not any old stick Ducky, it’s the stick you picked up the second time we met”
“What? Really, you kept it?”
“Of course aha. Hey can you help me move this?”
“Sure”
They move the desk - well Bucky did whilst Y/n stands there and watches - Y/n thanks him before kneeling down on the floor and started to lift up the floorboard smiling in victory when she sees the metal tin her mama had put there when she was five.
“What is it?”
“This, this has my toys that my mama hid so that he wouldn’t break them” she sits with her legs crossed and smiles up at Bucky as he sits across from her.
“Toys?”
“Yeah, but not any old toys Duck, no these are animal toys-look” she groans as she pulls the lid open “this is a giraffe, this is a sheep? no a goat, and an elephant-“ she lists off all the animals in the box as she blindly hands them over to Bucky who’s sitting there with his eyes fixed on her, the way her smile lights up makes his heart tingle, the way she sounds so happy brings a smile to his face. It had been so long since her saw her shine so brightly.
“And here’s a photo of me and mama”
Taking the photo his eyes bounce from the photo to her, it was the first time since he was either eight or nine that he’d seen a photo of his Bunnies mom “you look just like her”
“No, she’s beautiful”
“Exactly.” He smiles when her cheeks start to go red. “Hey do you have anything of your mamas?”
“Just photos” she shrugs.
“Come” he helps her put all the toy animals back in the tin and stands, helping her raise too he takes her hand and asks “is this her room?”
“Yeah why?”
“Let’s see if there’s anything of hers still here so you can have them”
“Duck…”
“It’s okay Bunny” he opens the door instantly shutting it before placing his body in front of the door.
“James?”
“I-I-we can’t go in there Bun”
“I know. Is there still blood?”
“You know?”
“Yeah, that’s the reason why he nearly killed me that night. I tried to find my mama and went into her room and well, yeah”
“Oh Bun”
“It’s okay, I want to go in it might help me feel closer to my mama if I have something of hers”
“Just don’t look at the bed okay baby”
Baby. Her heart shouldn’t stutter the way it did.
“Okay”
Bucky opens the door making his way over to the bed to flip the quilt over so she doesn’t have to see the stains, again.
“She always wore this jumper, I put it on once and tripped over when I tried to walk” she giggles.
“Take it, what about this?” Bucky hold up a long skirt that had patterns on it.
“In the summer she would pull up over her chest so it was like a dress and look it has pockets!”
“Take?”
“Absolutely”
Over the course of twenty minutes Bucky had found a small suitcase and they filled it with all the clothes she wanted to take.
“Bun is this box your mamas?”
“Yeah it’s where her jewels lived.” Laughing when Bucky cocks his eyebrow up “I couldn’t say jewellery so mama said jewels and told me that the box was their home”
“Fair enough, would you like to take it?”
“Okay”
By the time they had finished it was close to being pitch black in the cabin. “Come on Duck its getting too dark to see anything now”
“Okay” as they moved their way through the cabin laughing at each other when the other had bumped into something, getting to the door Bucky stopped “wait a second Bun”
“Duck-“
“Gimme a second Bun”
He goes back inside and she giggles when she hears him say “ow” a few minutes he comes back out smiling whilst holding up the metal tin that housed her toy animals.
“Couldn’t forget this now could we?”
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“Y/n? Where the hell have you been?”
“My old house…”
“Oh.”
“Yeah Ducky helped me get things that was my mamas”
“Ducky?” Both sets of parents say in unison.
“Yeah, we’re friends again”
Their dads, Bucky and Y/n all flinch when Maria and Winnie start screaming in joy, hugging each other whilst they jump around in a circle.
“Don’t even think about it George” Howard warns his longest friend as George slinks over to him.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about Howie”
“Don’t call me that!”
Bucky takes Y/n’s hand in his and slowly backs up whilst their dads argue.
“That was embarrassing” he laughs.
“It’s cute. Maybe we’ll be like that with our kids one day”
“W-what?” Bucky splutters, cheeks going bright red.
“N-no I mean me and my husband and you with your wife…you know?”
Before Bucky could reply they heard Sam’s voice from the doorway.
“Y/n…”
“Hi Sammy, hi Stevie”
Bucky watches as his three best friends reunite with each other, he has to admit that her comment about kids made his stomach flutter then drop when she mentions about her imaginary husband and his imaginary wife.
For the first time in three years Bucky felt whole once again.
<Previous   Next>
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beforeimdeceased · 6 months
Text
CRYBABY! - (E.W) PT4
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pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.
synopsis: the song was one thing, but calling you up on stage?
a/n: none!
better keep your head down + give me a call if you ever get lonely
masterlist.
the paparazzi are everywhere, all snapping shots of you as you rush into the band’s car. ellie stops to talk with them, ignoring jesse and dina’s pleads for her to get in. the sounds of the excited fans and the paps priding questions ring in your ears.
“so that’s the girl that fucked up your face?”
“i wouldn’t say it’s fucked up. it’d take a lot to fuck this face up. i think i look pretty hot with a bloody nose anyway.”
“and the song you performed earlier today is about her? crybaby?”
“yes—“
“ellie, get in the fucking car.”
“—yes and i’m looking into getting it released soon.”
jesse hops out of the car, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her in. “shit, gotta go guys. it was amazing to see you all—“ is cut off by the door slamming. dina let’s out a heavy sigh and throws her head back.
“i should punch you too.” dina starts. it makes ellie chuckle and she looks over at you. “it’s enough for you to write the song and perform it, but to call her out and bring her up on stage afterwards? ellie, seriously, you’re fucking horrible.”
jesse interjects. “not to mention you doing that during one of our most important songs. you ruined the set i’ve been perfectly curating for months. for what? for fun?”
ellie doesn’t respond. she just stares at you. puffy eyes and pouty lips while you sniffle down your remains of sadness. it felt like this night couldn’t get any worse, and yet you knew when you got back to the hotel she’d somehow find a way to prove you wrong.
“if you wanna sleep in our room tonight it’s fine. i completely understand.” jesse whispers to you as he opens the trunk to grab the bags. you think about it for a moment before shaking your head. you don’t want dina and jesse to feel like they always have to babysit you around ellie. you can handle yourself. you proved that today when you socked her in the face.
“alright kiddo. let me know if you need anything, okay?” he smiles, leading everyone to the rooms.
when you and ellie make it to your room, you both say nothing to each other. you’re sure she’ll break the silence, though. she always does. maybe the silence is uncomfortable for her? or maybe she just likes to hear herself talk.
“you gonna eat something?” ellie chimes up as she sees you walking towards the bathroom. you just ignore her and wash yourself up. you can’t seem to pull your eyes away from your bruised knuckles, or the lingering drowsy feeling after you’d been crying. all you want to do is collapse into the couch and sleep.
when you’re all done, you grab a blanket from your bag and settle yourself onto the couch. then ellie comes over, sitting on your blanket.
“remember when i went to jail?”
you sigh. “get off my blanket. i’m tired i want to go to sleep.” you tug at it but she refuses to move. continuing what she’d previously been saying.
“jesse and dina were on a trip and i called you. you bailed me out.”
it was 4am when you got the call. eyes barely able to open wide enough to see your screen. when you answered your heart dropped. “jail? ellie what the fuck?” you frown. she laughs. “i know right. gotta put this in our next song.” even with her sarcasm and smart ass mouth you could hear how scared she was. and you couldn’t say no. why couldn’t you say no?
you shrug. “so? what does that have to do with anything?”
“remember when you said you never hated me?”
you nod but you were rethinking it all now. flexing your sore hand. looking down at your blanket that she’d decided to hold hostage. confusion written all over your face. you said you never hated her, but not that you’d never hate her.
“i didn’t write that song to be mean—“
you interrupt her with a chuckle. “then what the fuck was it for?”
she angrily gets up and rushes away. “fucking forget it.”
you stand up, throwing a couch pillow at her. “why are you such an asshole, williams? seriously. were you dropped on your head as a baby or something? why do you walk through life as if everybody has done something wrong to you? you’re the tragedy of the story? that’s just not the case.”
she grabs the pillow and rushes at you, hitting you over the head. “why don’t you hate me then, huh? if i’m so terrible why don’t you hate my fucking guts?”
an uncomfortable silence falls between you two. you, bewildered at her question, still finding it hard to believe she cares. failing to understand why it’s your opinion she cares so much about. her, anticipating your answer. on edge. wanting things to make sense. both of you staring at each other. breathing heavy. twisted faces.
you see the scared look in her eyes and you almost want to hold her. want to see her for what she truly is: scared. that’s why she’s always angry. because she’s scared. because she’s alone. because she didn’t mean to, but she’s run everyone away.
but her lip curls into an all knowing smirk. the kind that could only come from predicting your thoughts through your eyes. piercing into your soul to ping at the bit of empathy you had left in you. for her. for the girl who’s angry and scared and alone. the girl who called you onstage in front of a crowd of people to humiliate you.
the girl who embarrassed you at karaoke. turned a video of you drunk falling into a meme. pushes you off to the side so she can be in the middle of dina and jesse on the sidewalk. trips you if you aren’t paying attention. lies. fights. and fucks you over.
your face changes completely, and hers falls when she realizes.
“you’re pathetic. you’re sad and you’re sick. i can’t believe i trusted you. i can’t believe i had sex with you. fuck you.” you yell before storming off. leaving her there. all alone.
“so you’re starting a band?” you ask dina. she nods, smiling. “with jesse and a friend of ours. i can’t wait for you to see us perform. maybe you could come to one of our practices this weekend?”
“yeah, i’d love to meet your friend!”
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hopelessdazai · 13 days
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✿ 》 Will you talk to me again?
╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I don't expect this to do well because its not smut but it'd be nice !! reblogs appreciated, support your creators :)
╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; @saelique angst collab!! dazai x gn!reader, WC ; 784
╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; angst, reader isn't alive, letter from dazai. he's trying very hard to keep himself stable but it's not working™.
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To my dearest ______ .
It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you don't mind me writing to you like this, it's simply been too long. I'm sure you're still angry at me, so seeing you physically isn't my best interest right now! haha, I'm sorry. you know I'm just joking around, don't you? I'd love to see you in person. I'm sure you would've punched my arm if you heard me out loud right now, wouldn't you? I'm glad I'm spared of the bruises.
what does someone put in a letter? that's what I was asking myself before I even began writing. I decided that the best way to do something like this was to just write whatever I feel true as pen touches paper. I hope it makes sense to you, at the least. if I'm pouring my heart out on some paper only for it to be misunderstood, it feels like a waste, no?
though, i'd be lying if i said it wouldn't be rather cute to see you try to fathom what I mean. did you know you scrunch your nose like a bunny sometimes when you're reading? I'm sure you're doing that now too. you'll get wrinkles very at this rate ..
but anyway, I managed to prank kunikida the other day! you remember that hair dye trick I'd told you about? I managed to break into his apartment and swap out his shampoo, at last! he came into work the next day with black hair, it was hilarious, you should've been here! he was so angry with me. beat me black and blue!
oh, _____. I got a new heated blanket for our bed, you know? it took a while to save up for it, and I had to cut out some other necessities, sure. but it makes everything so much better! I hate cold beds, I'm sure you know that better then anyone. haha, back before we moved in together when I'd break into your apartment and crawl into bed with you. I'm sorry for the amount of locks I broke, but your place was so cozy!
... you know, it's been really hard without you here. I miss you so painfully, and I don't mean to call into the void without even an echo, but its killing me to pretend I'm fine about any of this. I'm not fine with this, how am I supposed to be? I wish it was just a bad dream.
I don't want to have to write letters to you anymore, ______. I don't want to have to buy heated blankets to try and stop my arms from aching for your warmth. I don't want you to be angry with me, I'm sorry I didn't apologise to you before you were gone. I shouldn't have been so stupid.
i had so many words on my mind that I was too afraid to say. maybe if I faced myself and told you 'I love you' it would've stopped you leaving.
have you met odasaku yet? has he told you any stories of his time? I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish you could answer my questions. even to hear you scoff at my stupidity again would heal me. I'm sorry I was annoying, I just wanted your attention. it stings knowing I'll never get it again.
I can't keep repeating to myself that you're not gone. I can't keep buying your perfume and pretending that you're in the next room over. your pillow doesn't smell like you anymore.
I wish I could apologise properly. I wish I could've stopped you from leaving the house that night. I wish I could kill myself to join you and yet I know we won't cross paths again in the afterlife. you were always too good for me, ______. i was nothing compared to you.
i picked up a homeless dog yesterday. you'd always wanted a puppy, I'm sorry I never let you bring one home. I named it after you. im trying to get used to them, I promise. if I couldn't save you, I'll save your name.
I'm sorry. if I continue writing, my throat will hurt more. its strange, isn't it? crying makes your throat sore. I forgot what it was like for a while, I remember laying in your arms wondering if I'd ever have a reason to cry again. now I can't seem to help myself.
keep your wings clean for me, white looks good on you. its a shame you couldn't wear the wedding attire i wished to see you in one day. you would've looked amazing.
I'll write again, missing you is the greatest honor.
sincerely, your osamu.
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tiddygame · 20 days
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ghost’s civilian wardrobe is nothing but hawaiian shirts. soap is in utter disbelief the first time he sees it. ghost says they’re good bc:
it’s so fucking ugly, no one can stand to look at it for too long so he doesn’t draw attention
No one thinks the ghost would wear something so bright and stupid meaning he’s completely under cover every time he’s on leave
they’re cheap and an easy thrift
but he just really fucking likes how goddamn ugly they are
at least, that’s what he tells soap. and himself. in reality, they were always tommy’s thing. he always wore them to the point everyone knew that the safest gift to get him was the ugliest patterned shirts they could find. in every family photo, tommy was the easiest to spot with the brightest eye sore worn proudly with a smile.
after that cold night in december, all of their stuff was either donated or thrown away.
one day, ghost was thrift shopping (because even though now he had more money, habits from being raised in a poor home die hard) and saw one of them. he froze. at first, he thought it was just one that looked similar. but when he inspected it, it even had that old tear tommy had gotten simon to fix and sew up for him.
he grabbed it in a daze. he searched every rack in that store and found a few more hawaiian shirts. if they were tommy’s or not didn’t matter. he bought them. for days, he hunted through every thrift store in town buying every stupid patterned shirt he saw.
knowing that the few shirts he collected was the only thing he had left of his baby brother finally broke him. he probably looked insane, sitting in his old beat up pickup truck, surrounded by shopping bags from different stores, crying into a yellow and orange button up with flowers on it, and one sewn up tear on the sleeve. but it was tommy’s. and it was all he had.
at first, they were hidden away in a box. he lied to himself that it was because he wanted to keep them safe, but in reality, he couldn’t look at them without either wanting to cry or punch holes in the wall.
but, one christmas, he finally pulls his head out of his ass and grabs them. visits the cemetery in a stupid yellow and orange monstrosity of a shirt and complains that tommy couldn’t have had a better fashion sense.
he wears another when he has to go grocery shopping. and again when he runs errands. and again. and again. and again.
the first time one of them got something on it, he almost cried and pulled every trick his mother taught him about removing stains. the shadow of it persisted but the pattern covered most of it.
eventually, they became a staple of his wardrobe.
years later, soap watched ghosts careful routine he had for washing the shirts. they were always washed separately on delicate and air dried with routine inspections for any holes or tears. it would click later, when finding an old family photo, one with a young boy on simon’s shoulders and another man next to him in a familiar yellow and orange shirt, that perhaps simon hadn’t been entirely truthful when he said he just liked them.
simon was scared the first time soap did his laundry, but johnny always washed them with the same level of care, following the exact same routine. he still made fun of him (lovingly, of course), saying that crimes against fashion must run in the family.
and further down the line, years later, they will be old and graying with wrinkles, wearing matching hawaiian shirts. johnny will complain about how ugly they are yet will still wear it happily (and tune out simon reminding him that it was johnnys idea to start matching)
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eimids · 6 months
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Forgive me
Leah x Reader
Summary: Leah lashes out on reader and then tries to apologize
warnings: Angst, Leah pushes reader physically, fighting, mean Leah, fluffy smut in the end.
"Can you just shut the fuck up, I'm so fucking tired oh your shit like can't you just shut up for a minute," Leah yelled at you.
It was her first game after her ACL injury. The game was against Manchester United and it was making Leah nervous. She obviously wasn't in the starting 11, because it was her first match after a big injury. Luckily she was subbed in quite early on the second half. Arsenal was on the lead with 1-0, Alessia being the one to make the goal.
The game seemed fine to you, but you were wrong. Although Arsenal won, Leah was not happy at all. She stormed off the field when the game ended. leaving everyone surprised by her actions. Everyone, including you, though that she would be celebrating the win and her first game back but no, she just stormed off to the changing room. Her teammates hadn't even come back to the changing room when Leah was already gone.
Leah was mad. She expected her first game back to go perfectly and when it didn't she just lost it. Although to you it seemed like she played well, she didn't think so herself. She couldn't control the ball the way she wanted, and it just didn't feel the same as before. She hated it. She hated the fact that she had been doing rehab for ages just to be worse than before.
You were waiting for her in the car. You saw how she had stormed off and realized that she would probably want to leave as quick as possible.
"What happened baby?" You asked when she hopped inside of the car. Leah didn't answer, she just started driving the usual way back to your apartment.
At home, you tried again. You tried to ask what had happened but she just wasn't having it. So that's how you ended up with her yelling at you. It was rare so it made you cry, you hated it when someone yelled at you.
"Oh for gods sake are you really crying?" Leah was amused.
Leah was never like this towards you and it hurt. Your usually so caring and loving girlfriend was now yelling horrible things to you. Of course you were crying.
"I'm just gonna go" You said with a barely hearble voice.
"Good, please feel free to just get your things and get the fuck away from me" She said and pushed you out of her way. You weren't prepared for it so it made you stumble to the floor.
You saw Leah's face immediately drop. Her angry features were now switched with guilt and concern. Leah never once in your relationship had never used any type of physical violence towards you. Even if this was just a push, it made you worried. Why was your once so loving girlfriend like this.
"Y/n I'm so, so sorry, I didn't-" Leah started but you didn't listen. You just got up from the floor and put your shoes on and with that you were out of the door.
You were crying even more now. You knew that this wasn't your girlfriend. This wasn't the girl you fell in love with. You wanted Leah Williamson back. The same girl who would wake you up with kisses and bring breakfast to bed. The girl who comforted you when you cried. You wanted that Leah back.
You decided to call your and Leah's friend Katie. You knew her the best from the team, since she was at your house every other day.
"Katie, I umm, can I come over" You mumbled to the phone.
Katie could hear that you were crying and left er apartment and came to pic you up. She knew that this was abut Leah. Everyone had seen the way she stormed off of the field and no one on the team were able to contact her ever since. So something must have happened at home.
At your own apartment Leah was quite literally punching the walls. She was angry at herself. How could she let stupid football game come between your relationship. How could she be so mean to you. She didn't even recognize herself from her actions and words. And the fact that she had pushed you.
She couldn't forgive herself for that. He precious girl, you were so innocent, just trying to help Leah but she had pushed you and you fell. You could've gotten hurt.
After a while Leah texted you with apologizes. She also wanted to make sure that you were somewhere safe. Your answer was simple. "I'm at Katie's, gonna need a few days to have some space"
You had explained Katie what happened and she was furious. She wasn't known for having a good temper so she was ready to fight. Although she had known Leah longer, you had quickly became an important part of her life. She wanted to just hold you close and protect you from the world. She didn't like the fact that your own girlfriend had hurt you. The girl who was supposed to protect you.
You stayed few days at Katie's place. It was comfortable and peaceful since Katie was often at training. You had your time to think about what happened. You didn't want to break up because of that but you weren't ready to forgive although Leah tried her best to make you forgive her. She sent flowers to Katie's apartment every day with love letters and apologizes. She wanted to give you the space that you had asked for but she also wanted to show that she cared and wanted to fix things.
'I know that some flowers won't undo what I did but I just wanted to apologize to my beautiful girl. I don't know what got into me but I hate myself for what I did. I never should have lashed out on you. I was just really upset that I couldn't play the way I wanted but I never should've taken it out on you that way. And it's not an excuse for my actions. I love you my sweetie and I hope that you can forgive me soon'
That was one of the letters that Leah had sent you and after four days at Katie's, you were ready to face Leah again. You asked for Katie to drop you off to your apartment. She didn't like how you were forgiving Leah so easily but it wasn't her business.
When you arrived back at your home, you were hesitant to go in. You didn't even know if Leah would be there, at least she didn't have practice. You opened the door with your key and walked inside. It smelled like Leah and it made you smile a little. You had missed your girlfriends scent. The apartment was cleaned, you knew that Leah had been stress cleaning.
"Leah?" You carefully asked.
Leah appeared from your bedroom. She was shocked to see you. She though that you hated her and would never want to see her again after what happened. But she was happy to be wrong. She took a few steps towards you, not wanting to startle you.
"Baby.." She just whispered.
"I am so sorry for what I did. I never should have yelled at you or pushed you. It was so wrong for me to do that and I don't have any excuse for myself. I shouldn't have done it and I regret it with every bode in my body" Leah started her apology but didn't get far before you crushed her in a hug. Leah was taken by a surprise but didn't mind.
"Never do that again and I will forgive you" You mumbled to her chest.
"I promise to you. I will never hurt you ever again my sweet girl" She answered sincerely.
"Mm Leah" You whispered against her lips.
"Let me show you how sorry I am. Let me make you feel good baby" Leah whispered back.
With that you were in the bedroom. Your clothes long forgotten on the floor.
"My sweet sweet girl" Leah mumbled while kissing down your body.
She wanted to make you feel good. She kept praising you and you enjoyed the sweet words.
"My y/n, you are so good to me" She said before diving to your wetness.
She ate you out happily. Every now and then, whispering sweet nothing to you. Lapping your juices and circling your clit. It was all you needed and more. Leah knew how to work your body just the right way. She teased your hole with her tongue before dipping it in which made you moan loudly.
"I'm so sorry sweet, I promise to be better girlfriend for you from now on" She said and then kept going. She was not in any rush, wanting to draw those beautiful moans from your mouth.
She kept praising you and eating you out. Happily drowning between your legs where she loved to be. And when your orgasm took over you, she made sure to keep going during that. All she wanted was to worship your body.
You finally had your Leah back.
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hanggarae · 6 months
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౨ৎ sabotaged date
requested by anon congrats on 1k!!! could i request wonwoo+friends to lovers(something like she fell first but he fell harder kinda trope?) for the milestone event~
thank u sm!!! <33 i hope u enjoy this!!
wonwoo x f!reader, fluff, part of 1k event, 1.2k words
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“and you’re crying about this to me because?” jeonghan’s bored voice stretched in your ears, clearly tired of the conversation that you had with him monthly for the last two years.
“because you’re wonwoo’s friend!” you said pointedly while waving your spoon at him.
“so are you!” he argued back. “look, if you didn’t want him to go on that stupid date, why didn’t you just tell him that?”
you rolled your eyes, as if it was really that easy. “oh yeah and then what should i say when he asks why i’m being an obsessive weirdo, huh?”
you first met wonwoo a little over two years ago after your friend seungcheol introduced him to your friend group. and it’s been two years since you’ve had the worst crush ever on him.
he was insanely attractive and such a sweet person it was difficult to not have a thing for him honestly.
“how do i tell him that i don’t want him to go on a date?” jeonghan sighed, “he’s gonna think that i have the thing for him!”
looking at you for a few more seconds jeonghan sighed again in defeat. “alright fine, but i can’t do this forever you know? and don’t you think it’s a little selfish? you keep coming in the way of wonwoo finding someone but won’t ever confess to him”
when you didn’t respond after a few seconds, jeonghan figured you never would and took it as his cue to leave.
you understood his point, how could you not? but confessing to him was easier said than done. he wasn’t very expressive when it came to relationships, so you really couldn’t tell is he felt even a little of what you felt for him.
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“hey wonwoo, you still going on that date this friday?” doyoung asked him.
“huh? i was planning to but jeonghan told me that he needed help with moving or something like that? i don’t know i’m gonna try talking to her about it” wonwoo furrowed his brows, recalling the call jeonghan woke him up for at 2 am last night for.
“weird” doyoung chuckled, “oh! if jeonghan needs help let him know i’m free too, besides yn’ll probably be there too”
wonwoo noticed the bashful blush painting his friends face when he mentioned your name. “what’s the difference if yn’s there?”
doyoung looked almost offended at his friends statement, looking at him in shock.
“yn’s great” doyoung laughed but quickly became frantic to explain himself, “not like that or anything! she’s great and all but i don’t want to date her! trust me!”
weird. why’d he have to explain that to wonwoo? it’s not like he cared.
“i know you guys have something going on but trust me i don’t think of yn like that don’t beat me up” doyoung breathed, picking one of the books from the library shelf, muttering something about the publication date under his breath.
“what thing do-” wonwoo was cut off by doyoung’s phone going off, the latter quickly saying goodbye before answering soonyoung’s call.
what thing? surely doyoung didn’t think that wonwoo was dating you. to wonwoo, you were amazing, but he doesn’t think he’s ever thought of you that way.
you were always really sweet to him though. always grabbing him an extra snack from that cafe near campus and always refusing when he offered to pay you back. always making him laugh when he was down. always making sure he was heard when more than 13 voices got too loud.
now that he thinks about it you weren’t like that with anyone else. not being like that with soonyoung he could understand, but surely jihoon or jun deserved the treatment too, right?
the more he thinks about you treating jihoon specially too though the more he gets mad, and why are the pages of the book he was holding getting crumpled now?
and why’s he imagining punching jun in the face if you ever gave him snacks like you did for wonwoo? or if you smiled at jun the way you did to wonwoo? that sweet smile where your eyes start to crinkle and makes wonwoo-
‘am i getting a fever or something?’ wonwoo thought to himself when he felt his face grow warmer.
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when wonwoo got to the place that jeonghan texted him he was confused when all the lights were off. he looked around before knocking the door and he heard some noise behind it before it clicked open.
“can you help me?” he heard someone call out.
wonwoo looked over the room before his eyes set on the step ladder and then eventually you standing on it.
“oh wonwoo hey!” you smiled at him. wonwoo’s face grew warmer again- he really should grab some meds or something. “basically, the power cut off and i’m trying to see which wire will get it to turn back on”
“i tried calling the repairman but he wouldn’t pick up, think you can help me?” you asked him steadying yourself on the ladder.
it was hard to find your balance so wonwoo quickly walked over to hold it steady while you climbed off. nodding at the small ‘thanks’ you said under your breath.
“i’ll try taking a look but if we can’t get it to work i say we get out of here before jeonghan can blame us” wonwoo smiled at your laugh.
after a few minutes and wonwoo messing around with the different fuses the lights eventually started to flicker back on.
“by the way, why’d you mention jeonghan just now?” you asked him, still happy that you didn’t have to pay the repairman.
“this is jeonghan’s place?” wonwoo looked at you confused. was he missing something?
“jeonghan’s? this is mine” you chuckled, “why would you think it’s jeonghan’s? he still lives with seokmin”
“oh? he told me to cancel the date because he needed help moving and then he sent me this address?” wonwoo started to open the text from your mutual friend.
you looked at wonwoo embarrassed, cheeks growing warmer at his confusion. “yeah about that..”
“so you basically sabotaged me for a year?” wonwoo laughed.
“don’t say it like that!” you groaned hiding your face behind your hands, “it wasn’t sabotage it was..” wonwoo laughed harder when you groaned again.
he inched closer, slowly moving your hands from your face. “you know.. the other day at the library i realised something. doyoung thought that we had something going on-”
“you and doyoung?”
“what- no me and you!”
“oh”
“anyway” wonwoo sighed, “at first when he said it i was a little confused, i’d never thought of you that way”
“but..” he continued after seeing your dejected face, “the more i started to think about it, i really like having you in my life. and not just in a way that i like having the rest of our friends. i wouldn’t ever feel like this about the others, and i think i’d be really sad if you thought about anyone else like that too”
“so what does this mean?” you asked him after a few seconds of silence, not wanting to get ahead of yourself.
“it means” wonwoo dragged the sentence, “that you shouldn’t even think about sabotaging my date next week. because i doubt you’d want to ruin your own date”
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ourautumn86 · 6 months
Text
homecoming
hazel callahan x fem! reader.
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summary; loving her was a sin, but if there was a hell, you’d go with her.
cw; +18 content, minors dni!, we’re in the 80s!, both reader and hazel are 18!!, inspired by homecoming from ethel cain, homophobia, angst, pining, both reader and hazel being in love, kissing, crying, hair pulling, mentions of the bible, god and hell, fingering (r! receiving)…
you’re staring at her, and she can’t be more beautiful. it hurts. everything about it hurts. her suit matches her beautiful eyes, and her hair looks so soft you just want to dip her fingers in and tug. tug her closer. until there is no distance in between the two of you. until you can breathe from her lips, until nothing else exists.
but you can’t. and it just breaks you apart like a porcelain doll smashed against the floor.
her name is just as beautiful as her. hazel. like the spring, like the earth and the green. and just like the season, she brings butterflies to your stomach, makes goosebumps bloom like flowers on your skin. and she’s so warm…
she’s a sin. but such a pretty one… maybe they all are. would it make a difference? everything else evaporated as she takes your hand, like the blood in your veins. you want the blue in her eyes to bathe you clean.
“dance with me?” she asks, as if you could resist, as if you weren’t on her knees and begging for her to a god that forbid this sickening love that drenches your bones.
and you nod, ‘cause there are no words you could muster. not when she’s this close, when her fingers are laced in between yours and her cologne is suffocating you.
you’re more patient���now than you ever have been.
her smile is blinding, and you can just follow her to the mass of teenagers dancing in the middle of the room, even when your heart is about to burst out of your chest and your stomach is tying in knots.
you’re more brave now that you ever have been.
her hands are on your waist, and your arms are around her neck. and you’re dancing, slow. you feel like one of those princesses in the fairytales your mom would read you when you were just a mere kid, with glass heels and satin fluffy dresses, in between the arms of a prince. you wanted to smash the crystal below your feet and break it to pieces, dance bare feet on the remains of the happily ever after that you won’t get.
“you look beautiful.” she whispers, and your cheeks redden. your heart flips, and you wish this weren’t the way it all goes, but you can’t help but say it back.
“you too.” you stare into her eyes, shying when she smiles, pulling you closer against her chest. you swore you could feel the quickened heartbeat of her heart. hazel fears you do.
you could feel her breath on your neck, through your homecoming dress before she speaks again.
“can i tell you a secret?” you nodded, your soul blooming in a field of flowers when she spoke those four words against your ear. “i’m desperate for you.”
and even though you felt complete, you couldn’t help but want to push her away, punch her in the face. ‘cause your love was so big. you wanted it to be her problem too.
there, just inches away from her, from her plushy reddish lips…four left feet in a room, always all over her. why had you had to fall in love with her?
and you both knew this was how it goes. you both get too close ’til you fucking explode.
you only tugged her closer, burying your face on her neck to hide your blushing, your nerves, but mostly your fear. you couldn’t look her in the eyes, into this sin.
“don’t look now but everyone’s staring at us weird.” she said, and your breath hitched.
“is it just me or there’s no air in here?” you could feel your chest tighten, millions of eyes on you.
but you’d take it all. stand there and bleed under the knives their eyes sent you if that meant you could stay in between her arms just one more minute, one more second.
“just breathe. i’m right here.” she promised, holding you tight.
everyone was watching you. you couldn’t breath.
“can’t we just leave?” you muttered, and she nodded. you wanted to run away with her, run to where no one would know you, would see you.
she took your hand, and you followed as you two left the prom, the hallways of your high school felt sickeningly cold, yet she kept you warm, hand on hand.
it was all a blur as you two ran through them, eyes on the back of her head, on her flowy soft black hair, and before you knew you were inside the bathrooms, your back against the cold tiles as she looked into your eyes.
“tell me i shouldn’t.” she whispered against your lips, one of her hands cupping your cheek. your eyes met her lips.
your fist tightened on the jacket of her suit, knuckles turning white as you leaned closer to her, until your lips were hers and hers yours. you closed your eyes, relishing on this love that you were gifted, this cursed love that you couldn’t scape.
tears were soaking your eyes, ruining the makeup your mother had helped you put on. you were gutted. your hands found her hair, tugging. you wanted to hurt her. break her just like she had broken you.
“i wish you were a boy…” you muttered in a sob, and hazel’s eyes fell. she silently kissed you again. and you let her. they said love hurt, and you were ready to die for it.
the kiss only got deeper, so deep you were drowning. you wished there was no god. no heaven. no hell.
“i love you.” she muttered against your neck, softly kissing it, pressing you harder against the wall.
“don’t.” you begged. “please, don’t.”
“i’m sorry. i’ll go to hell for it. but i do.” tears were brimming her eyes as well.
you kissed her to quiet her. you needed her to hush it all. to not speak up this forbidden love that hung in between the two of you.
her tongue pushed inside your mouth and you moaned.
“please, hazel. make me forget…” you pleaded, starred eyes staring into her soul, and her shaky warm hands crept under the skirt of your dress, pushing aside your panties to feel how wet you’ve become for her. you cried out when you felt her fingers dive in between your slick folds, her fingertips tracing soft circles against your clit. you pulled on her hair, making her grunt.
“you’re so beautiful…” she repeated, if she could she would say it over and over again until she’d lose her voice. a whimper fell from your parted and swollen lips when she pushed her middle finger inside you, fucking you slowly. it was as if she were trying to make love to you. to convince you that this was no sin. just love.
you could believe her.
“i love you.” you cried on her shoulder, your hips pushing against her touch. “i love you so much it hurts.” she kissed your cheek, your forehead and your lips.
she hushed you, her free hand coming to softly brush your hair as she added a second finger, curling them and making you moan. “just focus on me, alright? just me, sweet girl. i’m right here, baby.” she kissed you once again, painfully slow and sweet. you could feel yourself rotting in it, vanishing as your orgasm approached, whimpers and whines being swallowed by hazel as she worked you towards it.
“hazel…” you called out for her.
“i know. i know. just let go for me, princess, let go.” you cried out as it hit you, your hips sputtering and your chest rising in a deep breath. you whole body shook at its intensity, and hazel made sure to help you ride it until it became too much for you. she pulled her fingers out of you just to push them into her mouth to taste you. you were heaven on her tongue.
you needed a taste.
and as you kissed her, holding her close to your heart, you whispered.
“if there’s a hell, i will go with you.”
and that’s a promise no god could break.
-
a/n; relatable
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