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poraphia · 9 months

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"I’ll Hold Your Hands."

Wilbur x anxious!reader 1303 words • 8.16.23 Request from @ax-y10! Reader has anxiety and picks at their hands and fingers. Reader is also overstimulated and nervous, but Will comforts! wilbur soot masterlist here :)

It's our first date, but you've shown me that even through anxious habits, you'll do anything to make me happy.

♡♡♡

“Hey, you ready?” A soft voice asked through the phone. Even with no effort his accent could send shivers down my spine.

“Mhm,” I hummed. “Give me a moment to come downstairs.” I took one final look in the mirror, making sure my outfit was pressed down enough to compliment my curves and gorgeous enough to let Will know there won’t be any regrets in asking me out. I slipped on the perfect set of shoes before walking out of my hotel room and toward the nearest elevator.

I was only staying in Brighton for two weeks before heading back home. Wilbur and I have been friends for a while beforehand. It wasn’t until recently that mutual feelings started to bubble up between us. It was a late night 2 AM call when Will asked me:

“Hey, (y/n)..?”

“Yes, Will?”

“Um… If you do come to Brighton anytime soon… I know a lovely place for us to eat dinner.”

I chuckled, noticing the shyness of his voice. “Are you asking me out, Mr. Gold?”

“Perhaps.”

After some packing and planning, I flew out to the United Kingdom to visit friends, travel to different locations, and most of all, go on my first date with the one and only, Wilbur Soot.

The elevator doors slid open. I walked out with the clicking of my shoes echoing down the hallway. Once I made it to the lobby, it didn’t take long to spot the dashing tall man sitting on one of the complementary couches. His legs were crossed with his glasses resting upon the bridge of his nose. I waved at him in an attempt to get his attention, and soon enough he spotted me as well.

Once he got up, I was able to see his outfit more properly. He was wearing black slacks with black dress shoes on, and he wore an orange dress shirt with the top three buttons unbuttoned. His hair was fluffier than usual, and his sleeves were folded up to show his forearms.

A big smile was planted on his face now as he outstretched his arms. I picked up my pace before nearly throwing myself in his embrace, hugging him tightly. His limbs wrapped around my waist before lifting me in the air and twirling me around.

“It feels good to finally see you!” He exclaimed through laughs. He put me down and stepped back a bit, admiring my outfit. “You look so beautiful..” He muttered.

A soft chuckle escaped my lips. “I could say the same for you.” I said, making sure I hid my hands behind my back. He raised an eyebrow before reaching for my arm and holding my hand.

“Come on, the restaurant is just a taxi cab away.” He said, to which I nodded in response. We walked side-by-side, but a bit of my confidence faltered. Did he notice my fingers? I painted them this morning so that from a glance, they looked perfectly fine. But I know that with a good look, anyone could notice the peeling skin, the bitten-off nails, and the swollen tips. It’s safe to say, I wasn’t opting to be a hand model anytime soon.

Wilbur kept my hand in his as we entered the taxi. After he directed the driver and paid him, he turned to me. “Hey, you doing alright?” He asked. He used his thumb to soothe the back of my hand, but his furrowed eyebrows and worried glance never left my face.

“Hm? Oh, I’m fine, Will, don’t worry.” I reassured.

I was very much not fine.

I didn’t have the realization that I was in an entirely new country, going on a date with a long-term best friend I’ve had on the internet, to what I presume to be a relatively fancy restaurant in the city—

until now.

Nervously, with my other hand, I started to pick off the skin of my thumb with my index finger, a little frustrated that I was unable to use both hands. Wilbur and I continued to have regular conversations as I absent-mindedly scratched off nail polish and skin.

Once we got to the restaurant, I made sure to hide my other hand in my pocket or behind my back. Anywhere out of Wilbur’s vision. The only time Wilbur let go of my hand was to check off the reservation he had for us as we followed the waiter to our table. In cushioned chairs, we sat across from each other. The white tablecloth and circular surface sat promptly in between us.

Our waiter placed the menus in front of us, and Wilbur immediately picked up the booklet to begin examining the options. I, on the other hand, quickly flipped it open and hid my hands under the table, still fiddling with swollen fingers. Once again, my heart was racing. The abundance of people in the room chattering with utensils clinking against plates, someone I consider important in my life sitting right in front of me, my shaking leg bouncing my hands up and down— I’m getting overstimulated.

“(y/n)? (y/n)!” His voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up, only to notice our waiter was back with a pen and notepad. I glanced over to Will. His head was tilted, and he only looked at me with concerned glistens in his eyes. “Do you know what you want to drink?” He asked softly. I looked over to the waiter again.

“Oh— uh, can I just get a water?” I asked, stammering over my words. The waiter nodded before walking away to retrieve our beverages.

“(y/n), you haven’t been holding up so well and you look pale. Is everything alright?” Wilbur asked. His hands were placed on the table, almost reaching at me so that he may take my hand in his. I sighed, looking down at my lap in shame.

“You promise not to judge, right?” I said.

Wilbur shook his head. “No, no, of course not, love… Tell me what’s wrong.”

With a deep inhale, I placed my hands on the table. My nail polish was chipped, and the tips of my fingers were beet red. By the sides of my nails, my skin was peeling off.

“Oh, sweetheart,” He sighed. Carefully, he picked my hands up by the palm and brought them close to his lips, gingerly kissing each finger with the softness of his lips. My face flushed at the sight, not being able to look away.

“I-it’s just,” I started. Tiny tears started to prick at my eyes. “I didn’t realize how fast this was all happening, and I guess I started to get all… Panic-y. I-I’m just really sorry. I didn’t want to ruin tonight.” I stuttered out with a trembling voice.

“Love, I promise you, you didn’t ruin anything. Everything is okay. Do you want to get out of here? If this is all too much we can go back to the hotel and just hang out there. Anything you want, (y/n). Because what matters at the end of the day, to me, is that we have a great time together.” He planted one last kiss in the palm of my hand. “That’s all I want for us.”

I couldn’t help the small sniffle as the warmth of his words wrapped me tightly in a blanket. I looked at him with lovestruck in my eyes. I wanted to do nothing but melt in his embrace, bury myself in the crook of his neck every morning, to hold hands while walking around the big city. At that moment I knew—

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

With the sincerest smile, I looked at him.

“Just keep holding my hands, Will.”

In turn, his dimples nearly lit up my whole world.

“Only for you.”

♡♡♡

a / n ~ eep hope you enjoyed! Ax i hope this comforts you in some sort of way I lowkey had to do my research for this one loll

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot oneshots #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x you #will gold #wilbur hc #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur x you #wilbur x reader #mcyt x you #mcytblr #mcyt x reader

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hauntedwitch04 · 2 years

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Becky’s Halloween party!

Welcome to my Halloween party! I really love this feast, and I wanted to celebrate it with you all. I know that I’m already late, but here I am. I took some prompts from the internet, hope you like it. I’ll try to post everyday, but I can’t assure anything, I'm so sorry.

With love, your Becky,💫

DAY 1: “You can’t go out with such a thin jacket in October, you gonna get a cold!” with Steve Harrington

DAY 2: “I love this song. It totally gives me Halloween vibes.” with Timothee Chamalet

DAY 3: "If you keep eating so many sweets you will get cavities." "I eat you out practically every day and my teeth are practically perfect." with Sirius Black

DAY 4: “You know darling, it’s dangerous to walk around after midnight.” with Azriel

DAY 5: “You are scared of a crow?” “It’s a fucking crow in the middle of the night in October, obviously I’m scared.” with Eddie Munson

DAY 6: "You know, honey, as much as it costs me to admit it, your pumpkin is much more beautiful than mine." "Of course, I am the queen of pumpkins." with Steve Harrington (x Henderson!Reader)

DAY 7: "You saw the ghost, too." "Love...it was a fucking bedsheet." with tasm!Peter Parker.

DAY 8: "Did you buy a fucking cauldron?" "All witches need their cauldron to make potions, you dummy." with Ben Barnes

DAY 9: "If you keep singing the Nightmare Before Christsmas songs, I think I won't make it to Halloween in one piece." "But at least you'll know them all by the time we see it on Halloween night." "Tell me we're playing trick-or-treating, because this is a fucking treat." with Andrew Garfield

DAY 10: "Trick or Treat." "I choose treat, but I know something sweeter than this candy." "And what would that be?" "You." with Remus Lupin

DAY 11: "You are the cutest ghost I have ever seen." with Dad!Steve Harrington x daughter x Mom! Reader

DAY 12: "Feel lucky that I share my treats with you." "I left all the chocolate to you." "That's why I love you." with Remus Lupin

DAY 13: "Why do we have to choose a pumpkin, we already have X that it is an empty head." with Azriel

DAY 14: "I love spending my days with you in front of the fire and u good horror book in my hands, because I finally feel at home." with Regulus Black

DAY 15: "Remind me never to let you tell a scary story again, I will have nightmares for the next ten years." with Eddie Munson (for my sister)

DAY 16: "Strange as it may seem, I love walking through cemeteries at night. Everything is so scary, gloomy, and finally you feel really alive." "Love, I think it's time to stop reading Edgar Allan Poe." with Regulus Black

DAY 17: "What was that sound?!" "You stepped on a twig." "Why are there twigs on the ground!?" "Why are we in a freaking forest!" with Sirius Black

DAY 18: "I love reading during the rain, but you know what I love most? Reading during the rain with you in my arms, with your intoxicating scent of cinnamon and chocolate that smells like home." "Man! You give me diabetes." with Remus Lupin

DAY 19: "God, I wish it was Halloween every day if I could see you in that dress. You're the sexiest witch I've ever seen." with Joe Keery

DAY 20: "If you eat so many sweets, your stomach will hurt." "Oh come on, I'm not a child anymore." "Does your stomach hurt?" "Shut up before I punch you." with Rhysand

DAY 21: "You won't be able to convince me to enter that abandoned house." "Okay." "What, you don't insist?" "No, because apparently you'd rather be alone in the surroundings of an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere." "Fuck you." with Loki

DAY 22: "Would you like to watch Corpse Bride? I've already made hot chocolate and lit the fire." "Are you asking me to marry you?" "Why?" "Because it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." with tasm!Peter Parker

DAY 23: "Tonight there is a full moon. Do you want to go watch it?" "No, sorry I can't tonight, I turn into a werewolf." "What?" "Stupid, of course I feel like going to see the moon with you." with Andrew Garfield

DAY 24: "Remind me never to let you drink at a party again, you looked possessed." "Well, at least I was in theme with the party since it was for Halloween." with Timothee Chamalet

DAY 25: "Oh my God, did you see that beautiful cat!" "I wouldn't go too close, it's a black cat." "Really? Are you afraid of black cats? I didn't think you were so superstitious." "Well I have a witch in front of me, so I believe in everything now." with Steve Harrington

DAY 26: "We could watch Sleepy Hollow." "I'm not going to watch another horror movie just because Johnny Deep is in it." "But have you seen how hot he is?" with Ben Barnes

DAY 27: "Why are you dressed as Dracula?" "Because it's my Halloween costume?" "I thought we decided to go as JD and Veronica!" "Well look at it from that point of view, they're both dead." "So will you be in a little while when I kill you." with Sirus Black

DAY 28: "You got me candles!" "Cinnamon and lavender, your favorite." with Remus Lupin

DAY 29: "Wow, what is that on your neck? Oh my God it's a bite! Did a vampire bite you? Are you going to be like Dracula? Oh my God, oh my God that's cool." "No man another animal bit me: my girlfriend." with Steve Harrington

DAY 30: "I will never again take a drink offered by you." "Why? Don't you like them?" "No honey, I love them, but I am more and more convinced that you are a witch and that you put love potions, because the love I feel for you is beyond imagination." with Azriel

DAY 31: “I fucking love Halloween Party!” with the Marauders

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oscarpiasstri81 · 5 months

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i wanna ruin our friendship - Oscar Piastri

part one / part two

summary ~ oscar and reader telling the grid about their newfound relationship… but they already know.

pairing ~ {oscar piastri × childhoodbsf!reader}

content warnings ~ language, mentions of sex, mostly fluff, carlos sainz being a menace

a/n ~ i did NOT think so many people would read, let alone actually like my first ever ff. thank you guys so much!!! Los amo mucho a todos, gracias. <3

word count ~ again, idk. like 1k or something ?

You woke up to the feeling of the warm sun resting over your face. Shifting a little in your still half asleep state, you felt a slight weight over your waist. Confused for a split second, you look down to figure out what it is. Seeing a strong, tanned arm, you’re reminded of last nights events.

Oscar had been awake for a few minutes before you, staying completely still in order to not wake you. Once he noticed you were awake, he spoke to you with his rough, sleep coated voice.

“Morning, pretty girl. How did you sleep?”

Hearing his voice made you flip your body around to face him, a smile already plastered on your face. You gave him a quick peck on the lips before replying.

“I slept pretty good, especially since I was next toyou.” Your words left a faint blush over Oscars face, completed with the prettiest of smiles.

He returned your previous gesture with another, much longer, kiss. As you felt him tongue running across the bottom of your lips, you let the kiss go on for only a moment longer before pulling away.

“As much as I would like to lay here all day, Charles has probably got breakfast going downstairs. You know how impatient he gets.”

Oscar responded to your statement with an annoyed groan. Rolling his eyes before pulling you into a short, but just as sweet, kiss. He quickly got out of bed, getting dressed as you began to do the same. Once you were both done getting ready, Oscar headed to the door. You quickly stopped him.

“Wait, Oscar.” He stopped and turned to look at you confused.

“Yeah? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just… are we going to say anything? To anyone? You know, about us?” You asked as nicely as possible, not wanting to come off as if you were ashamed. He seemed to understand what you were implying.

“We can if you want to, pretty. I have no problems in telling the whole world that you are my beautiful, lovely girlfriend.” He said with a soft smile.

“Good, good. I don’t want to keep anything a secret, especially from our friends.”

Glad to hear your words of affirmation, you both had agreed to tell each of your friends together, over whatever horrible breakfast Charles was cooking downstairs. As excited as you were to tell everyone about your relationship, you were not excited about Charles cooking skills, you could smell the smoke from upstairs.

The both of you headed downstairs together. As you walked into the room, you noticed all heads turn towards you and Oscar.

There were only about 12 people who had stayed over for the night, all of them being either from the grid, or one of the WAGs, as the internet had dubbed them.

Although you were confused as to why everyone had so suddenly looked, and then just as quickly averted their gaze, you headed to sit at the large table. Charles cooking hadn’t been so miserable today, only about half of it being slightly charred. Oscar took his seat next to you, laying his hand onyour thigh. You turned to look at him, and gave him a silent nod as the go ahead to tell the group about your news.

Just as Oscar was about to speak, a sharp voice suddenly interrupted him. Carlos.

“So, you two got up to some fun last night, sí?” He said with a smirk, he was a very forward and teasing person.

The blush that covered both you and Oscars faces confirmed whatever Carlos was insinuating, and that only made the groups laugh even harder. You turned to Oscar with an embarrassed look. It was obvious how oblivious the both of you were to how loud you had been last night. It now made sense how Lando, who you considered to be a brother, couldn’t meet your eyes earlier when you offered him a ‘good morning’.

It was clear that Oscar was equally as embarrassed as you, although the slight smirk on his face said otherwise. The usually quiet and introverted man was sort of proud that everyone heard how good he could make you feel. He broke everyone’s laughter as he spoke.

“Well, at least now we don’t have to tell you guys. But, we’re together, for clarification.”

Everyone offered their congratulations, still quietly laughing about the whole situation. Lando, on the other hand, was not finding this as amusing.

“I am happy for you guys, just… don’t be so loud next time. I don’t need to hear any of that. Y/n is like a sister to me!”

This sent everyone into a fit again, laughing at not only you and Oscars expense, but Lando’s as well.

“Yeah,” Carlos speaks up, “You didn’t need to tell us anything, we all heard.”

a/n ~ again, thank you guys so much for the support on part one!!! i really appreciate it. let me know if you have any requests for writes, i’ll do pretty much anyone. hasta la vista, bebé

#oscar piastri #carlos sainz #lando norris #charles leclerc #formula 1 #formula one #childhood friends #friends to lovers #fluff #so fluffy #op81 #ln4 #cs55 #cl16

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danielfuckingricciardo · 10 months

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16 + Charles and 26 + Pierre please ❤️

Hi!

Sorry this took so long, I’ve been in such a writing slump lately and this has sat unfinished in my drafts for weeks! But I finally did it and I hope you like it!

The Charles one is also in progress, I’ll make sure to tag you in that one when I post it :)

Song 26 - Creep//Radiohead

Pairing - Pierre Gasly x Reader

Word Count - 3.8k

Content Warnings - swearing, discussion of mental health issues

When you were here before Couldn't look you in the eye You're just like an angel Your skin makes me cry You float like a feather In a beautiful world I wish I was special You're so fuckin' special

Your therapist called it impostor syndrome. She mentioned it a lot during your weekly online meetings, and you usually laughed it off with some cringy internet joke about being ‘sus’ and tried to change the subject as quickly as possible. You’d receive a concerned glance, as you always did when you apparently ‘used humour as a coping mechanism’, but she would eventually move on to another topic, usually something about taking care of yourself physically as well as mentally.

Taking care of yourself physically was never a problem. You had nutritionists and personal trainers, physiotherapists and masseuses available whenever and wherever. The team made sure of that. To Alpha Tauri F1 team, your physical health was their top priority. Your mental health? Not so much. It was easy to lie to them and say that everything was fine, so that’s exactly what you did. You didn’t want to risk losing your seat because you told the truth about how you actually felt inside, so instead you saved that for the therapist you hired for yourself, and every Wednesday at 2pm you unloaded a week’s worth of thoughts and feelings you couldn’t share with anyone else.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, (y/n), we all feel like we don’t belong to some degree. And the bigger you make it in this world, the stronger those feelings will be.” She says, and you scoff.

“I’m not sure about that. The rest of the guys on the grid all seem so confident in themselves, and it’s definitely not a facade. They believe that they are the best of the best. I wish I could feel the same.” You say, and your therapist gives you a small smile before scribbling something in her notepad.

“You can’t know that for sure. Everyone experiences self doubt at some point in their lives, but they beat it, they get through it. Look at you, (y/n), against all odds you made it to where you are now, and you can’t tell me that the powers that be would have you there if they didn’t believe in you. You just need to learn how to believe in yourself as much as they do, and as much as your fans do.” She says, and you nod.

You know she’s right, but you wish that she wasn’t. You wish that your feelings would be vindicated so that you didn’t feel like such much of an idiot for having them.

“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about today?” She asks, and you open your mouth to ask a question, but are immediately interrupted as your phone begins to ring.

You look over at the screen and check the name - Pierre. What the fuck does he want? He never calls you, hell, he hardly ever talks to you unless he’s obligated to. This was definitely weird, something was definitely wrong.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta take this. Work stuff.” You say, and your therapist nods.

“Okay, let’s end the session early this week. Please do text me if you have any concerns you’d like to discuss.” She says, before ending the call and sending your computer screen back to her website.

You take a deep breath in and out before pressing the green icon on your phone screen.

“Hi?” You say, to no reply.

“Hello?” You repeat, and you receive no reply once again.

After a few moments of nothing but shuffling and breathing on the end of the line, you hear a quiet voice in the distance and strain your ears to hear. It’s clear Pierre didn’t mean to call you, it was probably a butt dial or some other similar fuck up, but you couldn’t help but want to listen in to whatever conversation he was having.

It was probably wrong, a total invasion of privacy, but your curiosity got the better of you, and you turn your phone’s volume to maximum.

“The fact of the matter is that Pierre feels as though he isn’t getting anywhere with Alpha Tauri, and therefore, as a team, we have made the decision to make the move to Alpine for the 2023 season.” You hear a familiar voice you cannot place say on the other end of the phone.

You let out a gasp and immediately clap your hand over your mouth, hoping that your shock had not be heard in the silence that had descended across the room.

Pierre was… leaving? After all this time? It was no secret that the two of you had never really bonded following your ascension to Alpha Tauri’s second seat, but you depended on him a great deal. He was great with the media, the fans, and the other drivers, and you felt comfortable following him around the paddock like a lost puppy, laughing and smiling along with everything he said and did.

You probably annoyed the hell out of him, and that was probably part of the reason he was eager to get away, to find a team mate he could actually have some meaningful banter with. Sure, you knew that he hadn’t always seen eye-to-eye with Esteban, but they had grown up together, and had an awful lot in common with one another. It seemed like a solid ground for a relationship, one that would definitely be more popular with the fans than your own.

You hear shuffling through the phone handset, and a whispered ‘fuck’ before the call is ended and the line goes dead.

“Fuck.” You echo, and you throw your phone down on your couch and pull your legs up to your chest, burying your head in your knees as you let out a single tear.

You didn’t think that you were crying for the loss of Pierre, that didn’t make sense, after all, the two of you hardly spoke outside of work. But at the same time, you couldn’t imagine being without him? You hadn’t realised until now just how much you had relied on him, and how much he had helped you over the years. He was the only friend you really had, though he probably regarded you as an acquaintance at best. All of your other friends had been left behind the day you moved your life to Faenza to be closer to the team, and you spent so much time travelling here, there and everywhere, that you hadn’t really had the chance to make any closer to your new home.

You hated to say it, but Pierre was your rock, and you had grown to care for him deeply, and now, losing him, what would it mean? You hoped they would call up some other, more experienced driver, like Daniel perhaps, to take the first seat. He could more than make up for your lack of confidence with his outgoing, loveable persona. But the alternative? The alternative scared you. If they were to call on some rookie to take his place, suddenly you would be the experienced one, the one to teach the newbie what to do and what to say. You barely knew yourself just how to play the game, you wouldn’t exactly make the best mentor.

You suddenly become aware of your breathing becoming faster, and more erratic, as your mind races, and employ one of the techniques your therapist had taught you to slowly regulate and steady yourself. God you regretted ending your session early, you could really do with someone to talk to right now.

Shakily, you reach for your phone and begin to draft out a text to your therapist. She had said to text if you had any concerns, and this was a real fucking big one.

Your phone begins to vibrate in your hands, and it almost slips out of your unsteady grasp as you read the contact name at the top of the screen - Pierre.

Fuck.

You take a shaky deep breath in and count in your mind, 1,2,3,4. You squeeze your eyes shut and squeeze your lips together tightly, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. Finally, you exhale, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and you accept the call.

“Hey! Did I call you just now?” Pierre asks, and you hesitate.

“Umm…” You say, unsure whether to lie, or to tell the truth.

“How much did you hear?” He asks, and you chuckle awkwardly.

“You still live at the same place? I’m coming over, I think we need to talk, yeah?” He says.

“Yeah, same place.” You say, and he hangs up.

You stare at your phone for a moment, your mind racing as you wonder exactly what Pierre wants to say to you. Was he angry at you for eavesdropping? You knew you should have hung up, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You were always taught that knowledge is power, and you just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to discover something new, even if it came from a blatant disregard for your team mate’s privacy. Hell, you’d be angry too if someone eavesdropped on a private conversation of yours, it’s only natural, so you wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to come over to yell at you.

Why else would he be coming to visit? It’s not like he owes you an explanation, or an apology. You meant nothing to him, you were just some overgrown rookie hanging off of his coat-tails, nothing but a burden.

Lucky for you, you weren’t left waiting long, as your apartment was only a few blocks away from Alpha Tauri’s headquarters, and you soon heard a rhythmic knock on your front door.

You take a second to breathe once again; in for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, out for eight seconds, before getting up to answer the door.

“Hi.” You say quietly, opening the door for Pierre to enter, your eyes not leaving the ground for a second.

Pierre follows you inside and takes a seat on the chair opposite the sofa where your things were spread out; a blanket, your phone, your laptop, a hoodie, and your favourite stuffed animal.

“Before you yell at me, let me bring my tissues. I always cry when I get yelled at, it’s not a guilt trip thing, so don’t feel bad, it’s just this thing I do, I can’t control it, I…” You say, walking over to your side table where you kept your tissues ready for a particularly sad movie or dog video.

“Who says I’m going to yell at you?” Pierre interrupts, and you turn to look him in the eyes for the first time.

“You’re not?” You ask, blinking away the tears that already threatened to breach your waterlines.

“No, why would I… That’s not why I’m here, I just wanted to make sure you were okay after hearing all of that.” He says, and you let out a shaky breath of relief.

“Me? Okay? You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine.” You say, throwing yourself down on the sofa and closing your laptop, which still happened to be open on your therapist’s website, which Pierre had, no doubt, already seen.

“Oh, thank you! I expected a little more from my long time team mate after finding out I was leaving! Maybe not tears, but, something?” Pierre says with a chuckle, and you shake your head.

“No, no, don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely devastated that you’re leaving, and I’m going to be completely tragic and sad next year without you because I’m a total loser with no fans, but I’m happy for you, really.” You say, and Pierre gives you a warm smile.

“You’re not a total loser, (y/n).” Pierre says, and you give him a small smile.

“But you do think I have no fans?” You chuckle, letting out a small sniffle.

“You know I don’t think that. I’ve seen it myself, how many fans you have out there.” Pierre says, and you scoff.

“They’re all your fans, Pierre, and they’ll be leaving with you. We all know they only tolerate me because of you.” You say, and Pierre shakes his head.

“Bullshit.”

“It’s true! I mean, I have practically no personality when it comes to media stuff, I freeze at the slightest interaction with the media, I post like twice a month on Instagram because my life is just that boring, and, not to mention, I spend my free time talking to my therapist in the company of my fucking stuffed animals.” You rant, and you feel tears running down your cheeks as you speak.

“You really don’t see it, do you? How much they like you because of those things. You’re relatable, (y/n), you’re normal. You’re here to race, not to be a celebrity. You’re not an attention whore posting shirtless selfies for likes and saying stupid shit to keep your name in people’s mouths. And people like that.” Pierre says, and you scoff.

“Yeah, as if.” You sniff.

“If you don’t believe me, then just look online.”

“My therapist said googling myself was a bad idea. Besides, I don’t just wanna be normal and boring. I want people to know me, but I just get so… scared, I guess? Scared they won’t actually like me the way they like you.”

“Well, the little of you that I know, I like.” He says with a smile, and you feel your cheeks heat up. This was the first time you’d heard Pierre compliment you before, and you couldn’t deny the fuzzy feeling it gave you.

“I just wish I was more like you. You’re so popular, with the fans, the media, the other drivers. I see how everyone crowds around you, you were made to be the centre of attention and you’re so fucking good at being in the middle of everything. You have this winning personality, everyone wants to either be you, or fuck you. Or both. If I could just have one tenth of that charisma, that personality, that vibe, then maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to do this thing properly. But I don’t. I’m just (y/n). A loser.” You say, and Pierre shakes his head again.

“But you don’t need to be me, (y/n). You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not for people to like you. The other guys like you just fine, they just wish you would talk to them more so that they can get to know you. Fuck, (y/n), I don’t think I even know you properly yet. I’d like to, and so would Charles, and Lewis, and Lando. You know, they ask me about you, a lot. I think they would talk to you more, but they don’t want to scare you.” Pierre says, and you chuckle.

“Ha, they know me well enough to know I’m terrified of social interaction, so there’s a start.” You say.

“You know that me leaving doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you, right? I’ll still be there for you.” Pierre says, and you look up at him, sniffing away your tears.

“Really?” You say, and Pierre smiles.

“Hey, I wouldn’t do it for my other team mates, but I guess you’re special.” He says with a chuckle.

“Well, that genuinely means a lot, really. Thank you.” You say, looking up at Pierre to briefly glance into his eyes.

He smiles at you, not breaking eye contact for a moment, and you feel the warmth of a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“I have to go, I have so much shit to do today, but don’t be a stranger, yeah?” Pierre says, standing from your chair and heading for the door of the apartment.

“I won’t.” You respond, and he winks at you before disappearing behind the door, closing it gently with a click.

Once you were sure he was out of earshot, you grab your phone again and immediately dial your therapist.

Ring. Ring. Ring. The call connects.

“Hey, um, I know this isn’t strictly therapy stuff but I need some advice.” You say, and she chuckles down the phone.

“I’ll help as much as I can.” She responds.

“So, I think I have a crush on my team mate, well, and don’t tell anyone this, he’s technically gonna be my former team mate. But yeah, I need help.” You say, and she laughs again.

“Oh, well that’s interesting. Let’s see how I can help then, yeah?” She says, and you exhale a shaky breath.

———

One Year Later…

You look out at the sea of fans, cheering and screaming for you and your team mate as you walk out onto the stage. You give them a wave, a smile, and a wink, and notice just how many of them are wearing your number on their shirts and caps. It gives you a fuzzy feeling on the inside, knowing that Pierre was right, losing him as your team mate wouldn’t mean you’d lose their support.

If anything, losing Pierre helped you. You did take his advice, and with the help of your trusty therapist, who was no longer your therapist at all but your closest friend, you had managed to come out of your shell more and show the world your true personality. And it felt good.

You take your seat beside Nyck on the stage, and turn your attention to the interviewer, who was waiting for the fans to stop their cheering to ask you the first question.

“Okay, okay, any more cheering and we’re gonna run out of time! Let’s get to questions, hm?” The interviewer asks, and you smile.

“Actually, I don’t mind the cheering! Keep going guys, let me hear you!” You say, your voice dripping with enthusiasm and excitement as the crowd goes wild once again.

“First question then, who are you and what have you done with (y/n)? You were so quiet and reserved these past few seasons, but now you seem to have really grown in confidence, and I’m sure I speak for everyone here when I say that we love it!” She says, and you chuckle.

“Well, it’s true I struggled a lot during my first few seasons. I honestly didn’t feel all too confident in myself and my abilities, and that really made it hard for me to be so outgoing. But, things have changed, and I owe it all to my former team mate Pierre. He’s really helped me to grow as a driver and as a person, and given me confidence that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to have. Even now we’re not team mates, I’m still his biggest fan and just so grateful for his support. So yeah, I really really owe it to him.” You say, and the audience cheers and whoops at your mention of Pierre.

Since Pierre’s move to Alpine, the two of you hadn’t been able to spend as much time together at work, but that didn’t stop you from spending time together at all. You had both made an agreement with one another to go out together at least once a month, and you had even taken a trip together during the winter break at the end of the previous season. Naturally, this meant that speculation was wild with fans over the nature of your relationship, with some insisting that you just had to be a couple.

But the truth was, you weren’t really sure what your relationship with Pierre even was. Sure, a few drunk kisses had been exchanged, and there were hugs aplenty, but as far as Pierre was concerned, you were just friends, even if you did desire something more.

“You mentioned Pierre there, and I’m sure everyone in the audience has seen the photos of your little dates and that ski trip you took back in December, so, are you really just friends?” The interviewer asks, and you blush.

“Yes, yes, we are just friends, really.” You chuckle.

“But if he asked you out, what would you say?” She asks, and you shake your head, a smile playing on your lips.

“Put it this way, I wouldn’t say no.” You laugh, and the audience erupts into loud cheers at your response.

Once the crowd’s shouts and whoops had quietened, the interviewer directs her attention to Nyck and you sit and listen intently until you are ushered backstage with a smile and a wave.

“You wouldn’t say no, huh?” You hear a familiar voice say, and your cheeks immediately heat up.

“I mean, I’d be a fool to say no right?” You say, trying to play it cool despite the anxiety rising within you.

“Then I’m taking you out Wednesday. Properly. Wear that black dress, you look sexy in it.” Pierre says, and you can’t help but stare at him, your eyes wide and your mouth dropping open in shock.

You try to search your brain for a response, but it seemed to have become completely blank the moment Pierre called you sexy. You can’t quite believe he actually said it, and for a moment you wonder if you were hallucinating, or dreaming, and pinch yourself on your arm. It stings, like a bitch, and you realise you most certainly weren’t dreaming. It was real.

“Okay. See you in practise tomorrow, yeah?” You finally manage to say, and Pierre smirks at you.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” He says, winking at you before joining Esteban who was waiting in the wings ready to step out on stage.

The pair step on stage to roars and cheers from the fans, and you chuckle in disbelief, taking one more glance out to the sea of hats and shirts that bore your number. You were finally able to be you, unapologetically so, and the fans loved it, Pierre loved it too, but most importantly, you loved it.

#pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you

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mcflymemes · 1 year

Text

NATIONAL TREASURE PROMPTS * assorted dialogue from the 2004 film

what do you see?

i'm gonna steal it.

this is cool. is this how you feel all the time?

what time is it now?

i'm so sorry i dropped you.

once we catch them, what do we do?

and you have no idea where he went?

just tell me what you told my friend.

is this real?

tell me what i need to know.

i made something for you.

what do you think? i'm a hostage.

stop chatting and get in the van.

then we keep looking for it.

you're not supposed to be up here, looking at that.

come on romeo, get out of there.

you know the key to running a convincing bluff? every once in a while you've got to be holding all the cards.

honey, stay as long as you'd like.

i know what i have to do, i'm just trying to think if there's anything else we could do.

you know what? i take it back. you're not liars. you're insane.

people don't talk that way anymore.

i would have done exactly the same to you.

i thought i'd be a good idea to have a duplicate.

you're treasure hunters, aren't you?

so we find a way to make sure the status quo changes in our favor.

who were those men?

you know what you have to do.

don't speak again.

i'm not going.

it's only a matter of minutes before the FBI shows up at my front door.

why don't you just come back down here and we can talk through this together.

will someone please explain to me what these magic numbers are?

are you crying?

look, i will let you hold this if you promise to shut up! please! thank you!

i know the person who has the originals.

do you want something?

i see why you left him.

look, if you wanted to leave me behind, you shouldn't have told me where you were going.

okay, pay attention.

we found bullet casings.

delicious jams and jellies?

it's not a conspiracy theory.

you owe me $35 plus tax.

you know something? you're shouting again.

we missed it.

you know, thomas edison tried and failed nearly 2,000 times to develop the carbonized cotton-thread filament for the incandescent lightbulb.

at least i had your mother, for however brief a time.

this is huge.

this is a waste of time.

i'm just trying to hide from my ex-husband.

beautiful, huh? i have no idea what you said.

you're a genius.

enjoy. go ahead.

everything i told you was the truth.

you are gonna go to prison. you know that right?

how do a bunch of guys with hand tools build all this?

you're not hurt, are you?

did bigfoot take it?

well... this might be possible.

do you have a visual?

yeah, rub it in.

is there a door that doesn't lead to prision?

at least i had you. what you do you have?

if it's any consolation, you had me convinced.

it means if there's something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsiblity to take action.

what if we go public? plaster the story all over the internet?

are you all right?

you handled that well.

the guests know something happened but they don't know what.

well. that would bother most people.

someone's got to go to prison.

you would do well to be a little more civilized in this instance.

you don't know this?

this isn't a day for "um."

he doesn't remember a thing.

we can't go back there.

it means the treasure is real.

i've never been so happy to be proven wrong.

our evil plan is working.

i'm still not against you.

i'm in a little trouble.

i know something about history that you don't know.

i'd be very excited to learn about it.

still a little on edge from being shot at, but i'll be okay. thanks for asking.

there was no file opened. we didn't find the information credible.

if you're not a steak, you don't belong here.

anyone crazy enough to believe us isn't gonna want to help.

when are we gonna get there? i'm hungry. this car smells weird.

you're all lunatics!

are you trying to steal that?

why does that never happen with me?

it's not like we have our reputations to worry about.

we did the only thing we could do to keep it safe.

hold on one second. let me just take in this moment.

they don't have it.

a toast to high treason.

there's no chance anyone can steal this.

hey, i don't make the prices.

the aliens helped them.

who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?

i'm taking the whole thing.

you know, i really couldn't accept something like that normally... but i really want it.

now could you please stop shouting?

give me that!

i leveled with you one hundred percent.

you're still shouting, and it's really starting to annoy.

we probably deserved that.

no broken bones? a jump like that could kill a man.

it's invisible.

i volunteered.

i don't have that on my computer.

can i marry your brain?

you know, something i've noticed about fishing? it never works out so well for the bait.

we don't actually have it.

they're like early american x-ray specs.

i'm sorry for your suffering.

here's to the men who did what was considered wrong in order to do what they knew was right.

why do you care?

i lost my feed.

i don't know where anyone is anymore. i have nothing!

get out of there! get out of there now!

it was cool. you should try it sometime.

for the record, i like the house.

enjoy your spoils.

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idreamtofmanderleyagain · 4 months

Text

The very idea of using AI as a means of wholesale generating content is just...so wildly absurd to me, that I have to admit I was foolish in expecting it to be less ubiquitous than it is.

The only way AI in creative spaces even makes sense to me is as a supplementary tool built by and for artists and designers to build with their own portfolio/freely given or licensed data, or as a freeware novelty to play with, a la chatbot RPGs or generating goofy images of the Golden Girls in the backrooms.

To me, the soullessness of AI art comes not from the idea of the technology itself (which in another world could have been a kind of collective artistic unconscious we could have contributed to together, in which the "soul" was what we built), but from the cold, callous, thoughtless culture of it's larger tech devs and userbase.

Culture and art is naturally derivative, as we all learn and create by experiencing inspiration. We do not create in a vacuum. However, the AI community's insistence upon generating only *pure* derivativeness and rebranding that as innovation is certainly obscene. I would have a very hard time calling anything made purely by inputting prompts into AI "my work," and yet, here they are, proclaiming as much proudly.

Any real utilization of AI that could be called art made by an artist in my view would have to A) be made primarily by using the artists already made body of work, B) have heavy, predominant input by said artist rather than predominant generative elements, or C) have some kind of thoughtful commentary on the utilization of technology itself. And mind you, those distinctions are based on the currently theoretical idea of an ethically gained dataset.

Early artist adoption seemed to lean towards the last two in the modern art scene, but that was before the boom of AI generated ~content creators~.

To be honest, it's just sad. It's sad that people value the idea of being a cog in the machine of internet content, rather than finding joy in learning to create, joy in exploring, joy in uplifting and engaging with community.

It's sad that humanity created a machine that fundamentally requires the act of sharing to build...and just stole to feed it instead, then distributed it's remains like hungry wild animals ripping at a carcass.

Like can you imagine how it might have been, for artists to have been the ones to build such a thing? How we might have found joy in sharing pieces of ourselves with it, and seeing the fruit of that community blossom? As someone who has always seen the beauty and value in things made free for everyone, transformative works and creative commons and the active choice of artists in community to openly share things for other artists and creatives to use, I am so used to finding a natural joy in such a space.

I think that's what really makes me sick about the whole thing. Not that AI exists, because AI is just a thing. It's the people who poisoned the well. Made the art community wallow in it's darkest feelings and worst impulses and paranoia in response. There is an alienation from that natural sharing impulse created by what was essentially a violation of that space.

And perhaps, out of optimism and frustration with people, I have been too soft on that reality in previous discussions on the issue. I still like AI in theory. I still play my little chat RPGs sometimes. I don't dislike anyone for using AI to make things, especially if they are honest and not trying to invade spaces with what they do. I don't really take a lot of issues in people enjoying playing around with AI images that they label as such and aren't trying to monetize.

But it's hard not to cringe at those people who shovel the emptiest, most uncaring, most algorithmically approved ~content~ out into the world, people who don't even hesitate or ask any ethical questions about what they do, all basically just for money and clout...and seeing them practically publicly fellating themselves over their non-accomplishments.

I don't feel threatened by those people because no matter how surface level sleek it looks, it still doesn't resonate with their audience. Mainly because what resonates with audiences is a kind of emotional communication too complex for a machine to truly replicate, and the people who do this shit don't seem to have the emotional intelligence in the first place to have any idea what would. But it's still fucking cringe.

All of that said, Having recently seen some of the content being published in the book world lately, I'm stricken by how much the art community in general has been taken over by algorithmically approved content in general even without AI. And I'm thinking on this in the wake of the James Somerton scandal too. The culture of women's genre novel writing and AI tech bro culture and youtube content creators... They aren't't as distinct as we would like, regardless of how "original" some work is over others. And to be honest...I think late stage capitalism has just made all of us so extremely cynical about creativity itself. Whether we are outright plagiarizing, using computers to generate, using algorithms to dictate our next video subject, or trying to replicate as many popular twilight/50shades/hunger games/reylo tropes as possible to please executives, we're all ripping at the same carcass for scraps in the end.

#ai art #late stage capitalism #i get to my real point at the end there sorry this is meandering

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anonymousstoryteller2000 · 1 year

Note

Joe x reader and fans asked Joe about the reader at a comic con and Joe gets all flustered

Thank you🤎

This request is giving me these photos but yeah I will definitely do this one 🤌

Very short and simple fluff✨️

Main masterlist

COMCI CON

You and Joe have been dating for almost 2 and a hafe years now no one was really suppost to know yall were dating but the paparazzi caught you and Joe kissing at a bar while enjoying your time. So that was a really big invade and privacy for you so when those photos got linked on the internet all your fans and Joe's fans went wild most of them were positive comments but half of them were negative and that's what both y'all were scared of so two weeks before Joe went to German Comic-Con you had announced on your Instagram that you and him were officially dating and have been dating your friends and family were there to support but obviously there were negative comments which you didn't pay attention to really because you were happy and didn't care what anyone said Joe didn't really post anything his team just reposted your post from Instagram on his story officially saying he was taken

German comic con

Joe was quite bummed that you couldn't go with him but he did respect it cuz you had a lot of things going on in your work life too Joe was headed off to Germany for German stranger Comic-Con he was going to be there with David Mason Caleb Eduardo and a couple of other people so it was quite nice for him to have company around , Jamie was supposed to go but he couldn't which kind of made Joe a little sad but everything went right at first

Joe had just gotten up to get ready for his day He Wore a gray black striped tuxedo with a light blue button-up shirt and loose black pants with two of his chains on and a promise ring you had gotten him and he slicked back his hair with his comb looking in the mirror once he was done with everything he exited out of the Hotel with Caleb and Mason with him. He met up with David and the rest of the people that were going at the Comic-Con he was a little nervous but excited to see everyone and his fans. He really wished you could have been there with him, but he understood you were busy too with press and photoshoot and upcoming projects

Once Joe got to the event, he went straight away to great every on stage with all his cast mates to introduce themselves to everyone. After that he went to role of people lining up to get his autographs he had really good time with all his fans even someone gave him a lighter with his initial on in with quotes written on the back saying (never change).

After that, he had photos taken with his fan. They were simple, but his favorite was with a girl pretending to take fake shots for the poses .after a couple of hours it was Joe's time to do his panel he was a little nervous cause he wouldn't know what people would ask him and of course it would probably be a question about yalls relationship he was nervous and quiet scared cause of the negative comments on social media but we was hoping it would go well

Panel

He was still nervous but not as much as before he got questions asked like his favorite color or his favorite memories on set or if he liked steve and eddie (ofc he did😫🤌)it's was time for the last questions of his panel and was suprised that no one asked about yall or you untill the last question

Fan:Hi, I'm (idk just make up a name 😭💀)

Joe:Hi, he said while leaning forward, smiling, running his hand on his face

Fan:My question is, how did you and y/n meet, and why do you love her

He was shocked by the question, but he knew it was coming up , but it was even more shocking is when the whole crowd started cheering your name and yelling in excitement.

Joe put the microphone to his mouth, smiling a bit

well I love her very much she everything to me and there's alot of things I love about her like he pause to smile I love her beautiful eyes her smile and the way she laughs and the way she cares for other and supports me no matter what she very loving and veryyyy sexy he says while leaning into the microphone more smiling showing off his dimple while laughing,witch make the whole crowd start cheering and awwwing at the answer but yeah oh he jumps up a bit and we been together for about 2 and a hafe years now almost 3 and hoping for the rest of us living he says smiling again hope that answer your question love he said

Fan:Thank you, and I love yall by the way the fan says, walking off the stage while the crowd claps and cheers and excitement

He was very shocked about all the love he had gotten but very happy about the response, but no matter if it was negative or not, he would never stop loving you.

#joseph quinn x reader #eddie x reader #joseph quinn x oc #joe quinn x you #joe quinn x y/n #joe quinn x reader #joesph quinn #joe quinn #joesph quinn x reader #joe Q

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 1 year

Note

Very occ for Nessie, but I want to give her a revenge arc. Do you think that she'd ever be able to pin Jacob against the Cullen's in a vamp vs wolf war? Either Nes gets some revenge against her parents for their neglect, score, or her groomer gets killed alongside the people who supported his actions, which also score. Bonus points that she could just fake her death and the sides will blame eachother. Again, occ, but I want her to grow into a bitter person towards the life she was sealed into

I mean, as always, I must suggest that you can write the fic. Options exist, you can have your revenge fantasy and the internet will love you for it! No need to come to me.

A Caveat on Renesmee

@therealvinelle and I have a very specific interpretation of Renesmee that honestly isn't that likely when it comes to canon. Renesmee's going to have a very strange childhood, which is going to manifest in some very odd behaviors/world views, but closer to the mark is probably @franzias-cave in Just World Fallacy where Renesmee is a miniature Edward and Bella manifested in someone hilariously myopic, self-centered, and stupid.

Ultimately, though, in canon we only see Renesmee for three months and Bella pays almost 0 attention to her as our narrator. Renesmee can grow up to be almost anything and while I have my thoughts, theories, and justifications it's one of those where you can pretty much do whatever you want and you're not wrong.

Basically, you can't raise the OOC flag when Renesmee is "Sir Not Appearing in this Film".

Could Renesmee Get the Cullens and Jacob to Turn on Each Other?

Easily.

I posit she'd do so entirely unintentionally.

All she needs to do is either a) fess up what's happening with Jacob to the right person (or even the wrong person) or b) accidentally show what's happening with Jacob or c) Jacob fucks up.

I don't think all the Cullens are entirely on board with the imprinting thing, they've just been assured that it's platonic and trust Edward (the last person anyone should trust). Edward, with his gift, of all people would know what Jacob's secretly thinking in any given moment and if it's grooming. Surely, if Edward's okay with this, then it must be okay!

That alone means we have a ticking time clock of the moment Renesmee turns seven and Jacob goes, "ah, so we can be sexually active now!" Shit will hit the fan at that point.

If not before as my money is that when the Cullens next move, most of them assume Jacob isn't coming and will be very surprised and alarmed when he suddenly invites himself along.

But even backing up a bit, that means that the moment it's confirmed to one of them that this is grooming after all...

Oh boy.

First, the immediately will want to get rid of Jacob. Jacob, obviously, isn't going to like that and has in the past gone so far as to risk innocent bystander lives to see that this wouldn't happen (his sending Charlie to Bella so they wouldn't move without him). Jacob will flip shit, and from canon he can get... how do I put this scary when doing that.

Then we have the fact that if Jacob is guilty after all, why did Edward and Bella never say anything? The likelihood that Edward was fooled, that he didn't know, is very very very small and demands a lot of generosity on the part of the other Cullens. It's technically possible. Jacob could have blocked Edward at every opportune moment, always made sure he and Renesmee were out of earshot, coached Renesmee on exactly what to say and what memories to relay or not relay but...

Edward alone is looking extremely guilty.

Then you get to Bella, beautiful Bella, who will shout from the mountaintops that there's nothing wrong with imprinting and Jacob and her daughter were made for each other. Bella's going to straight up confess that she sold her daughter as a war bride to her best friend at birth and be offended that the other Cullens are offended.

So, you're immediately going to have a division in the ranks where you have Rosalie and Carlisle on one side (the others depend on circumstances but are either on board or neutral) and Bella, Jacob, and Edward on the other (though with Edward he'll want a careful balancing act where he can keep his family and keep Jacob! If push comes to shove, he'll try to keep the family which will pit him against a horrified Bella).

Could result in @therealvinelle's Bleach on the Brain and our joint Leech on the Rain or something else entirely.

And all Renesmee needs to do is let a few things... slip, and her family will implode.

What About the Wolves?

Probably no wolf-Cullen war.

Sam's pretty levelheaded and I see him not wanting to get involved in this madness. Jacob is asking for them to sacrifice their numbers so he can be a pedophile to a half-vampire hybrid. At least one of them is likely to die in this fight, if not all of them if Jasper uses his gift effectively, and Jacob doesn't give a flying fuck and expects them to back him up for this cause which is heinous.

Because of this, I imagine Jacob would immediately lose his pack to Sam and Sam says "no".

Jake's on his own for this one (and will rage against it and claim a great betrayal from those who should have supported him).

Is Bitterness Really the Outcome We Want for Renesmee?

The thing is, in all of these scenarios, Renesmee ends up with nothing. Even if she wanted to tear her family apart, remove Jacob if not murder him, what she's left with is absolutely nothing except her own bitterness and rage.

She has no family, no future, no companionship, no trust in the world or anyone else, just rage and this torn apart family behind her. She has nothing now.

Frankly, to me that sounds like the most miserable ending imaginable for her.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #renesmee cullen #the cullens #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #bella swan #anti bella swan #jacob black #anti jacob black #twilight shapeshifters #sam uley #leah clearwater #meta #headcanon #opinion

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silphwave · 2 years

Note

Hi! That other anon that asked you if you've taken classes about pixel art made me wonder what other experience you have with art. Are you self taught? What kinds of art have you practiced before pixel art? I'm curious because your style of pixel art and use of color is so unique and striking.

Hey, I appreciate the interest. I studied Fine Art at university, although I learned zero knowledge about any traditional techniques such as colour theory, composition etc. The art school was sadly obsessed with conceptual art. They didn't care if you could draw, paint, sculpt or craft with skill and beauty; only the message mattered. In hindsight I should have expected this, I didn't really have a message, just a mood.

I still remember one of the senior lecturers looking at the work hanging up in my art studio and he sighed "Hmmmm, it's just a bit too nice isn't it?". Then he sat me down and began asking "What do you hate? You should make some art about that..." He then proceeded to try and get me to make social and political art, which has never been in my nature. Art is a relaxing hobby for me, a form of escapism, a happy place away from the world. So I continued what I was doing regardless, making surrealist collages from vintage magazines and old books and scraped a bare minimum pass.

I went under the online alias of "Dharma_Collage" from about 2014-18. Maybe there's still some remnants of work online (I'll see if I can find any to add to this post). It slowly transitioned into the work I'm doing now as I used the old collaging techniques to make my first Pokémon art. I don't think I learned anything practical from art school that's helped with the art I make now, it's just been purely led by following my own interests and making what excites and motivates me. The Internet has endless help and resources for anyone willing to learn on their own.

As for pixel art, I seen some pixel art online and just instantly thought to myself "Wow, I want to make that!". So I briefly studied and researched and then jumped head first into it and just kept putting in the hours. Started small, using pixel apps on my phone etc and gradually upped the scale and complexity. I had another page called "Pixelad" for about 6 months before Silphwave, I'll add a few of those earlier images here too for comparison.

When something doesn't look right, whether it be colours, composition, texture, font etc it really offends my brain. There's some kind of OCD factor that compels me to fix what I'm looking at. Most of my art is rearranging and recolouring things until it no longer annoys me. Almost like some feng shui process, especially for the cluttered album cover type designs I make.

I always liked drawing things as a kid, we didn't have much money for toys, game consoles or Pokémon cards etc; so I'd make my own. I filled a notebook with my own Pokémon gameboy experience, I drew locations on every page and made teams for dozens of trainers and gym leaders I'd fight along the way and had extensive stat tallies for all my Pokémon that were constantly getting erased and updated. It was basically a one man D&D adventure 😅 I'd make my own Harry Potter wands and Witches and Wizard cards or LotR weapons and maps. This kind of lore expanding, creating fan art was pretty much ingrained in me from an early age. Maybe that's why the nostalgic theme is ever present through my art as that's essentially what I'm doing, reliving and continuing my childhood.

(Sorry for the long convoluted answer, I found it helpful for organising my thoughts. You've prompted me to think of some things I hadn't considered before, thank you)

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littlelewdmable · 1 year

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Penny taking off her limbs to be a fuck nugget because due to internet she wants to be Jaune’s Onahole. Cue Jaune giving her loving, passionate sex and telling her she’s more then that

More Than An Onahole

Jaune was having a pretty good day overall. Sure, he had to fight off more than his fair share of MILFs. Because apparently doing his job and helping some kids was the most attractive thing on Remnant.

But, regardless, Jaune was ready to spend the rest of the day with his girlfriend, Penny Polendina. Yep, that's right. Jaune and Penny. They'd actually briefly dated before the fall of Beacon. Though that was something only Jaune, Penny, and Ruby knew of.

And after the fall...

Well, as Jaune opened the door to their shared room, he was looking forward to the first proper night they'd been able to spent together in well over a year. And he expected it to be a fun night. "Penny, I'm back," he said turning on the light to their room.

What he didn't expect was to find his darling Penny missing her arms and legs, laying as naked as the day she was born (built?) on their bed. "Greeting, boyfriend-Jaune," She said attempting a wave "I trust that your mission in Mantle was a success,"

"Penny!" he said, moving to his girlfriend's side. "Who did this to you? What did they look like? Why are you naked? D-did they-" Jaune tried to say with more than a hint of anger in his voice.

"Nobody did anything to me boyfriend-Jaune," She said.

Nobody did anything to her? What? "Then where are your arms and legs, and your clothes!?"

"I did," She said in her usual chipper tone.

Jaune just stared at her with a dumb look for a long moment. "What?"

"It was necessary to become a 'fuck nugget' so that I could become your own personal self lubricating and warming onahole," Jaune continued to stare at his girlfriend. "My friends on the internet said that it would the best way to serve you,"

"Penny," Jaune said pinching the bridge of his nose, "You know you aren't suppose to be online without supervision,"

"But friend-Blake did supervise me while talking to my internet friends."

"Of course Blake did," Jaune groaned. He was going to have a long conversation with the horny cat-girl. Maybe he needed to get a squirt bottle for her. No, no she'd probably like it. "Where did you put your limbs Penny? We can talk about this once you're put back together,"

"Do you not wish to have intercourse with me?" Penny said, giving Jaune an almost Rubyesk pout.

"No! It's just that-" Jaune sighed. "Okay, fine."

***One undressing later***

Jaune lined his cock up with Penny's entrance as he laid above her. Pushing into her tight hole for the first time in over a year. Penny gasping and moaning as he hilted himself in her.

"I'm free use ready," She said as Jaune pulled back and she prepared to be used, her pussy pounded for hours, by Jaune and his big cock. But the big thrust she was expecting never came. Instead his lips met hers in a sweet loving kiss. Before he slowly buried his length in her again.

Gently he pumped in and out of Penny. Pulling away from their kiss as she stared up into his loving blue eyes.

"Penny," he whispered into her ear, "You aren't some object to be used," he kissed her cheek and the pair made love "By me or anyone else,"

Penny gasped at every thrust. "You're so much more than that. You're a kind, intelligent girl." He kissed her again. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and all those months I spent without you were that hardest of my life,"

"I love you," He whispered into her ear.

"I lo-ah! love you too," She squeaked out, "I'm sor-" She was interrupted by another kiss.

"It's not your fault Penny. I'm just so happy to have you, Penny the real girl, back." Her moans of pleaser gradually raised in pitch and in volume as Jaune increased his pace, and she felt her climax coming. His own climax close behind.

"Jaune!" She gasped as Jaune further increased his pace as they both neared orgasm. Penny's pussy tightened and she screamed Jaune's name as she came.

He groaned as the movements of his hips became less fluid as each shot of cum filled Penny. She felt each shot filling her. Desperately she wanted to wrap her arms and legs around Jaune and never let him go.

Soon Jaune's movements slowed down as he finished. Laying on top on Penny. Panting. She looked up into his eyes. He looked down into hers, and once again they kissed.

***A little while later***

"So Penny," Jaune began to ask "How did you take your limbs off?"

"Well first I removed my legs," She said newly reattached arms holding onto Jaune, "By simply detaching my internal coupling and twisting on the leg. I did the same with my arms,"

"What did you use to remove your arms then?"

"My arms."

#rwby #rwby smut #robotic knight #jaune arc #penny polendina

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lumine-no-hikari · 14 days

Text

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #116

I'm sleep deprived again. It's been a lot of consecutive nights now. I'm sorry about that. I know I keep asking you to take care of yourself, meanwhile, I'm dropping the ball on myself. I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to get it together though, given all the things that have been happening lately. It's hard to string a coherent thought together, but I'm gonna try to write to you anyway; we all deserve someone who thinks about us enough to reach out, and it doesn't look like you have anyone like that, so… I might as well try. Even if I don't feel well, I'm still gonna try. Hopefully it'll do.

Br made breakfast for us today! She cooked us some eggs! She brought ones that came from a local farm. In my world, eggs come in all sorts of colors; these ones were white, brown, and greenish-blue:

I showed her how to check if the oil in the pan is hot enough to cook scrambled eggs without them sticking to the bottom; they turned out really well! They were so good that I wolfed them down before I even thought to take a picture for you; sorry about that.

I wonder if you like eggs. And if you do like eggs, I wonder how you like them cooked. I like it best if the white is cooked but the yolks are still runny. And they're even better if they're soft boiled, or soft boiled, peeled, and marinated! Maybe sometime I'll make you some marinated eggs and show you how it's done...

Anyway! Br also suggested that we make tea, so that's what we did! Br made me a cup of the maple black tea, and I sweetened it with creamed honey and heavy cream; I'll show you how that turned out:

...I wish you were here.

After that, I visited my friend B today because it's her birthday! She had a reservation at a place that serves really good Italian food! But before that, she, her fiancé, her sister, and I all decided to hang out to watch hilarious things on the internet! We spent a lot of time talking and laughing, and it was beautiful.

...I wish you were here.

Then we went to the Italian place! I got a soft drink made of pureed strawberries and whipped cream! I wonder if you would have liked it. I can't give you a sip though, so I took a picture:

I got steak and a side of pasta and mushrooms! This, too, was really, REALLY good. I can't give you a bite. But I can show you a picture...

There's a lot of pasta at this place; I'm sure you would have been able to find something you would have liked. Here are the things the others got:

...I wish you were here.

We returned to B's house, and we watched some really funny videos about a guy who trolls scammers. I dunno how it is in your world, but in mine, we have unscrupulous people who call vulnerable folks (mostly old people) in order to steal their personally identifying information so that they can then steal their money. This guy keeps these kinds of scammers busy long enough to get them caught!

There was this particularly funny video about this fake password resetting thing that keeps asking for stranger and stranger input, and the scammers, not understanding that it was fake, kept trying to meet the demands to create a "valid" password, and... goodness, I laughed so hard that tears came streaming from my face!

...I really, REALLY wish you were here. I'd give just about anything if it could mean that you'd have opportunities to eat delicious things and to laugh at hilarious stuff and to spend time with wonderful people. There's so much I wish I could give you. There's so much I wish you could see. I can only imagine how beautiful a genuine, wholesome smile and laugh coming from you must be. I can only imagine...

Hey, Sephiroth? Please. Please make good choices. Please turn yourself around so that you can have a chance to really live. Please don't keep walking the path that will lead to you disappearing; after everything you've been through, you deserve to heal, so that you can find so many wholesome reasons to laugh and sing and dance and smile. All humans deserve to heal. All of them. And... no matter what anyone says to you... no matter how you were made... you're still human. You're still a person. You're still a man.

I am falling asleep as I write this. So I'm gonna stop writing now.I

I love you. Please stay safe. Please make good choices. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

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this-has-returned · 2 years

Text

This is a long rant. Strap in.

I'm not sure if this is an experience that other Americans have online, but it's something that I'm noticing more and more as we get deeper into the age of algorithm-based media.

I have spent years learning German for the express purpose of seeking out German media online and being able to understand it with little to no translator assistance. A lot of my favorite bands are from Germany, for example, and I feel really accomplished when I can understand what I'm hearing. It's an absolutely beautiful language and culture. I'm too poor to travel (and my neurodivergence provides other problems with travel as well), but I wanted to at least leverage the Internet's ability to take me around the world's data channels.

I've wanted to do this since childhood. I picked German in particular half on a whim, and half because two relatives on my dad's side sing in German for their church, and so he picked up some of the language from them before I was born.

I was already exposed to Spanish from my classmates (and I was correctly assuming I would take Spanish classes as a school requirement anyway), and was exposed to Japanese from my sister and her best friend (which was a language that seemed incredibly hard). So German, therefore, was the first language that I felt was within my ability to learn, and could be learned for fun (and not strictly for utility).

Neither of my parents are German (those two relatives at the church are apparently French). I have no other apparent connections to the country that would register in any algorithm online. I think this has given me an unexpected obstacle, because all of the algorithms have been like "YOU ARE AN AMERICAN. HERE IS YOUR AMERICAN MEDIA. HERE ARE OTHER AMERICANS TO FOLLOW ONLINE. I SEE YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN OTHER COUNTRIES; HERE ARE SOME AMERICANS WHO TALK ABOUT THOSE COUNTRIES."

And, like, the fact that so many things are search-based makes it really hard too, because no matter how many search terms I awkwardly type in German, nor how many German content creators I follow, a lot of social media will not recommend me anything from the country; it just redirects to American and UK sources (because it translated my search into English), or to fictional sources made specifically for people learning the language in a classroom setting.

In fact, on Twitter and TikTok especially, I can follow as many German creators as the limited search results will let me see, and then it never shows me any posts from them, nor makes any recommendations based on them. I have to intentionally check on their profiles and scroll through every week or so, because none of it appears on my feed. It's as if these sites think it's fucking insane that I would ever speak another language, or be interested in anything outside of my own country. It's like the algorithms think that following these creators was a mistake I made or something, and best to not take seriously. Honestly, given the stereotypes (and realities) of how little Americans care about the outside world, I guess this shouldn't be a surprise to me.

Tumblr is honestly the first and only website where my attempt to land on the German side of content creation yielded anything at all. This is actually the first website that seems capable of handling users who speak other languages for fun.

Anyone else I know in America who gets content from Mexico, Puerto Rico, or Venezuela (for example) seems to get it because they have family from there, and I think online algorithms seem to keep track of that and cater content accordingly. Additionally, people interested in Japanese media, UK media, or Bollywood seem to get content sources as well. Meanwhile, these same high-end algorithms look at my activity and are like "What's this nerd searching 'Eisbrecher' for?"

The closest I've seen algorithms get is probably the Wehraboo community (oof), but all their stuff just seems to be Americanized hyperfixations on WWII German war technologies and Nazi iconography, which is absolutely nothing like what I'm trying to find (obviously), but there's a surprising number of pipelines leading to there from "casually listens to German music and plays BattleTech games". You can imagine how annoying most search results can be for me, as someone who likes Eisbrecher, Rammstein, Project Pitchfork, and BattleTech. I hope this point in particular highlights the problems I'm having with algorithms and search engines.

I know there's a meme going around about how Tumblr has no algorithm, or that its minimal replication of one is hilariously simple at best, but honestly I appreciate it. Other websites with advanced algorithms keep me locked in this fucking country as much as they possibly can. The fact that I am FINALLY getting recommendations from German Tumblr users after a DECADE of trying to land in German communities on other websites is absolutely wild.

My entire goal has been to utilize what I learned to explore more parts of the Internet and Human Experience (tm), but these algorithms have been keeping me locked here for so long that my skills in speaking, reading, and writing German have gotten rusty from lack of use.

I'm not looking for 2-page stories written in 1980 by teachers for beginners in the classroom. I want memes auf Deutsch, I want rants, I want shitposts (which are hard enough to understand in English, as I'm autistic, so I will probably spend 30 minutes trying to process them in German). I want to see Germany's autistic community talk about their special interests. I want to see the larger neurodivergent community there talk about their experiences, too! I want to see gay fanfic about characters that I wouldn't know from American media, so I would be forced to try and Google what the source material was for 15 minutes to get any context. I fought in the American public school system to keep them from dropping German classes from the curriculum, and was finally able to take it for 2 years, plus another year in a community college before my mental illness made it unsustainable to chase my degree any further. I was hunted down for sport by the Duolingo owl when I took German lessons in the app. I just want to finally feel validated for trying to learn a damn language that I chose for myself lol.

So, hallo LGBTQ+ side of German Tumblr! Happy Pride, and happy Neun Euro Ticket! I need to improve my writing, grammar, and my spelling, but I can at least read you!

Also, do any other Americans struggle with this shit, or has it literally just been me this whole time? Or am I just doing things the hard way, and there was an easier way all along?

#german stuff #bilingual #algorithms #social media #languages #germany #autism #special interests #neun euro ticket

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i-want-my-iwtv · 2 years

Note

How do feel about the casting for the IWAV show coming out? I know there is much more to the vampire chronicles than just aesthetics but I don't really see Sam Reid as Lestat and while Jacob Anderson is cute and was excellent on GOT, I don't get any ethereal vampire vibes from him at all. Am I just being picky since young Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt were like god-tier good looking?

Your question could be bait, and I’m resistant to answer it, because people can twist my words into any strawman argument of their choosing. In the spirit of Lestat driving headfirst into danger, let’s try anyway. Maybe you’re a troll, but I know there’s someone out there who might be helped by my response on this.

First, though:

Re: you being picky, you have a right to like what you like/not like.

If you thought Anderson was excellent on GOT, but not giving you “ethereal vampire vibes,” well, I didn’t watch GOT but I assume he was mostly likely not trying to be an ethereal vampire in GOT. If he’s as excellent as you said, maybe he'll surprise you, Anon.

As far as Sam Reid not really looking like Lestat for you, I have seen plenty of people excited about him in this role, in detailed posts. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if you’re not into Reid’s Lestat, that’s up to you, Anon, and you don’t need anyone to validate your opinion. However, Anne Rice was initially VERY against Tom Cruise’s casting as Lestat, and she changed her mind. More on that under the cut. So maybe Reid will change your mind!

All that aside, there’s a double-standard with this upcoming TV show as compared to other film adaptations (the 1994 IWTV film, the 2002 QOTD film). With the other adaptations, we’re free to praise/criticize any of the casting decisions, the actors, the storylines, anything at all! We can criticize canon. Totally fine, I don’t care if you liked something I didn’t like, or vice-versa. I don’t believe that enjoying a book/movie/TV series is promoting the entirety of its content, or lack of promoting something is somehow silencing other people’s enjoyment of that media. Watching TV can be your own personal experience, I can tell you that before the internet, that’s how it was. And participating in internet discussions about it is an entirely optional experience.

Currently, there’s only one opinion we’re allowed to have about the AMC IWTV TV series, which is 100% pure unconditional positive support.

I am 100% purely and unconditionally supportive of the show, as categorized as AU fanfiction, which I don’t consider any kind of reduction in rank or status. I co-wrote a VC coffeeshop AU fanfiction set in modern times that I still look back on very fondly, more than my canon-set fanfiction. I still get comments and kudos on it years later! I’m going to enjoy watching the IWTV TV show with my friends, because we’re watching it through a lens of curiosity. It’s not trying to be the canon story, it’s one of many transformative works. It just so happens to be officially sponsored. But it doesn’t change one word of canon, it doesn’t tack onto any other adaptation, it’s entirely its own living creature.

So when people argue about the casting for the IWTV TV series, I think the underlying argument is actually: whether this adaptation is better than the canon story or not. It’s your opinion whether it’s better/worse (for lack of a better word)/equal in value, but I think it’s a wholly different entity than the canon story, so I’m not interested in comparing them, at least not until it comes out and we have actual performances and plot points to talk about.

Movie!QOTD and movie!IWTV were also fanfiction of a sort, things were changed in those films that made them no longer the canon story (Louis’ brother’s death became Louis’ wife died in childbirth; Magnus and Marius were hybridized into one character, etc.), and for some people, those adaptations are better/worse/equal in value to canon. There are also opinions about how some elements of those adaptations are better than canon, and some elements are not.

What we are still allowed to discuss/mention:

Anne Rice initially disapproved of Tom Cruise’s casting as Lestat, and later changed her mind after she saw the film.* (after the cut)

I’ve seen people post that they can’t stand Tom Cruise, except as Lestat, and they often seem ashamed to admit this.

I’ve seen people still dislike Cruise’s Lestat for his acting/appearance/being too short.

I’ve seen people who don’t think Brad Pitt looked enough like the canon character. One critic from the time of the movie’s release said that Pitt had “simian features,” and well... that’s not a compliment.

People still dislike Antonio Banderas’ Armand as being too old and having a cheap wig. I have discussion about him in my #Defending Antonio tag. I enjoyed him as Armand, I don’t care that a lot of people disliked or even hated him in that role. It doesn’t take away that I enjoyed him.

People disliking Stuart Townsend for having brown hair in the '02 Queen of the Damned movie, when being blond was such a big part of Lestat's appearance, canonically: “What would Christ need have done to make me follow Him like Matthew or Peter? Dress well, to begin with. And have a luxurious head of pampered yellow hair.” - IWTV.

It doesn't make Townsend any less of Lestat for the people who found him attractive and enjoyed his performance. Anyone can enjoy him, Cruise, and/or Reid, etc., or none of them!

So in considering this casting, all I really want to say is that these are just 2 more added to the list of actors who have portrayed VC characters and I’m curious to see what they do.

---

*You might not know/remember this, but Tom Cruise changed Anne Rice’s mind in a similar way:

Cruise "is no more my Vampire Lestat than Edward G. Robinson is Rhett Butler," Rice told the Los Angeles Times back in 1993 when the lavish production being directed by Neil Jordan got underway, with executive producer David Geffen playing peacemaker between the disgruntled author and the leading man everyone else was excited about.

Obviously the show went on, Cruise approached the role of Lestat with the intensity he's known for bringing to every set he walked onto,...

"Oh, the choice [of Cruise for Lestat] is just so bizarre...

As it was, "it's almost impossible to imagine how it's going to work," she added, "and it's really almost impossible to imagine how Neil and David and Tom could have come up with it. I have one question: Does Tom Cruise have any idea of what he's getting into?"

...And in the end, [Cruise] turned Rice—and, according to the author, he turned all the readers who were initially outraged just as she was.

"I think Tom did a wonderful job, I really do," she acknowledged in a 1994 interview. "I too was shocked in the beginning and I was very much against it, but Tom Cruise really did read the books, I think, and he got the essence of Lestat. He got Lestat's power and his charisma and his charm. He got all of that across in the movie. He had great skill in that performance, I think, and great power."

Rice noted that the only problem was that Cruise was too damn charming. "Since he isn't all that nasty, why does Louis hate Lestat? How can he?" she also mused in 1994. "Well, I'll take that problem any day over a more shallow solution. Tom his the right note. And Louis was Louis. Nothing could comfort Louis. The film got it."[X]

#ask #anon #iwantmyiwtv has opinions #vampire chronicles #sam reid #jacob anderson #advice #on fandom #anne rice #vc casting #can be so personal meme #iwtv amc #long post #cut for length

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suchathrilltobeagirl · 1 year

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Hi Katie, as I was saying before I commend you on all the work you have done to achieve your goals. You have been through hell and back on your journey. I don't know if I would do the same in your shoes. But then I'm not at all sure if I want to actually become a girl. I definitely have a thing for wearing makeup, lipstick mostly. I've never tried anything else. I have in recent months had the urge to be with a transgendered person. I love the looks of a woman with a penis. I have no desire to be with a man that looks like a man. I don't know if that sounds strange or not.

When I was a young boy is when it started for me. One day my mom was cleaning out her purse and she had this red lipstick that had a slide button on the side and when you pushed it up the top slid back and the lipstick came up from the tube. It was like a red rocket ship 🙂

She told me to throw it away and I instead put it in my pocket and went outside with it. I was fascinated by the creamy smooth texture and the smell was erotic to me. I then wrote on myself with it and when I went back in the house I realized it would take soap and water to wash it off with a bit of scrubbing. I was then discovered by my mother and scolded and that put everything into hiding for me.

As time went on I would take my sister's lipstick and try it on. I would also color my nipples in and out would look so sexy, I just couldn't get enough I would use it so forcefully that I would break the lipstick and smooch it into my chest and ask over my penis then I would masturbate and imagine having sex with my sister.

As time went on and I had moved out of my mother's house I would steal lipstick from the store. Take it home and wear it like all day in my apartment and again color in my nipples and masturbate to porn. First I'm magazines then on the Internet.

In recent months I have watched porn with shemales and imagined myself as the one getting fucked or the one sucking a dick.

I was hoping my wife was going to go to her daughter's for Thanksgiving so I would have time to play with the strap-on I bought so we could use because my own dick no longer works. I really eventually want to buy a big dildo and use it on myself. I want to feel something big penetrate my ass.

I hate that I'm afraid to reveal all this to my wife because she has been in a relationship before where the guy was more turned on by other men and eventually she left him and felt lousy about herself because she wasn't good enough for him.

But anyhow that's my story that I wanted to share with you because I've never told anyone else. And you really struck me as a very nice person going through the things you have done. And you are just lovely. Of course I have no idea what you looked like before you started on this journey. But if HRT can turn a man into a beautiful woman like you... It makes me wish I had done that myself years ago. I could then be walking around as a beautiful woman myself.

I guess the best I can do is mess around with digital photography and turn myself into a woman that way.

Have a great day Katie and as always much love to you. 😃💋💄

What an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing that with me. You may be interested to know that I have written a book about my journey to become a woman (so far - I am not yet fully female!). I now feel I need to write a second book and focus on regret. There are decisions that I made, or did not make that I now regret and there are things I have done, or did not do that I now regret also. With reference to my first book, entitled Night and Day, I would like to explore what could have happened, or would not have happened had I made a different decision, or had done something different when presented with the same issues. Does that make sense?

So, in all that you have said, are there decisions that YOU made or did not make that you now regret? Is there anything that you have done or not done that you now regret? While this kind of thinking can be quite interesting, it can equally be quite distressing! For example, back in 2002, I chose NOT to start my transition because I felt that, as a husband, and as father to my two children, I had a duty and responsibility to support my wife and my children for as long as they needed me. My wife, on the other hand wanted me to start my transition, as she knew I would never be content and at peace with myself unless I did - she even offered to support me when telling friends and family of OUR decision. However, I stuck to my guns, I did not start my transition at that time, and I lost my wife and family! Regret? You bet!

Katie xx

#transgender #mtf #hrt #mtf transition #transsexual #transwoman #transgirl #girlslikeus #transisbeautiful

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invisiblefoxfire · 1 year

Text

Good lord I just saw a conversation where one person was saying that a certain gaming company is currently doing some fucked up shit, and another was countering that we don’t actually know for sure what’s going to happen and people might be jumping to conclusions before we have all the information, just a polite exchange of opinions. And then someone jumps in and says calling corporations evil (a word literally no one had used by the way) is actually cruel and wrong because you’re basically saying everyone who works there is a bad person and that’s not fair because most of the people who work there have nothing to do with these kinds of decisions.

And maybe that’s just a case of black and white thinking (they’re not able to think of a unit such as a corporation as being both bad on the whole but also made up mostly of good people, and therefore every label applied to the public-facing actions of the company must also apply equally to every person who works there). Maybe they’re mad because they work for the company being discussed and want their company to be good and perfect and can’t handle the idea that the capitalist overlords they work for might not be morally pure and take the current backlash personally for some reason. Most definitely I should have just moved on and not said anything.

But the autism gremlins wouldn’t shut up so I went back and politely pointed out that typically, when someone calls a company bad or evil, they mean the people in charge, not the individual employees who work there. My hope was that the angry person would realize they were getting angry at something that was never directed at them in the first place and chill out a little.

And someone else came in and said well you might not mean it badly but the people who work there and love their jobs are still going to take it that way, so you shouldn’t say bad things about companies. (Which is ridiculous - every person I’ve ever known who worked for a big evil company would be the first to tell you that the company is evil, but working there was their best option at the time. Even if they liked their job, they wouldn’t go so far as to say the company itself was “good”.)

At this point I realized no good was going to come of taking part in this conversation so I just left it at that. But a few minutes later the original critic replied with a link to a video about how the employees of the company being discussed are actually really angry at their company for the current shit they’re pulling, and how the company is also underpaying and overworking them, and I thought that was beautiful.

Anyway this just seemed like another example of “the internet is poisoning people’s minds and destroying the capacity for critical thinking”. All the purity culture shit, the rise of fascism, “callouts” (by which I mean mass coordinated attacks on people who have done one “problematic” thing that involve digging through their entire history looking for any hint of other mistakes and piling baseless accusations on them until they are bullied off of social media, not simply holding people accountable), the whole mob mentality, constant feedback loops of anger and indignation and fear, everyone’s emotions turned up to 1000% at all times... Black and white thinking used to be relatively uncommon, a sign of a psychological issue of some sort, but now it’s widespread, something people have been trained into. Something is either perfect and flawless (and criticizing it makes you a bad person) or it’s evil and bad (and finding any good in it makes you a bad person). Tribalist thought processes where if you’re part of a group (even if that group is an objectively evil company), that group can do no wrong and you must fight against anyone attacking it, because that’s basically the same as attacking YOU!

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I just miss living in a world where you could say “big corporations are bad” and not have people coming out of the woodwork to tell you how Problematic it is that you would say that about all the hard-working people who have jobs at big corporations because they need to survive. Just... go outside and touch some grass, I beg you. Turn off your phone for a while and take some deep breaths and maybe hug another human being or pet a fluffy animal.

#disc horse #black and white thinking #i don't know i think maybe social media is kind of bad i guess

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