#talk to people about fucking JAMES BOND.

[redhhound]

wanna write a crossover but it'd be the most fucking niche shit ever. GOD.

#00Q and soapghost..... like fr i cannot be the only one thinking about this it would be soooo good #but like most of the 00Qies got left in 2012 . help. #also my 00Q fixation was mildly horrifying #it was so fun but like. wow it completely took over my brain for so long and i sounded like such a loser trying to #talk to people about fucking JAMES BOND. #not sure if i would survive another proper 00Q fixation esp since ive read most of the fics :/ #anyway surely someone sees the vision.... british military homosexuals..... theyre all like #ghosts lol i guess like legends lowkey. woah who is that dumb fucker. wait. hes from mi6. oh my god that's that bond fucker. i thought he #died like 5 years ago.

[doubleajay]

As someone who is also nonbinary listening to Devon fuck up their own pronouns is such a mood

#kill james bond #still working through the backlog and just finished the die hard episode #fucking me too mate #it's always specifically when you're phrasing things as if other people are talking about you

[rustystars]

immovable object (he's just an asshole & not gonna change) vs unstoppable force (Well maybe he just needs to get laid)

#rusty speaks #THINGS MY FRIENDS HAVE SAID RHAT MAKE ME FEEL CRAZY. Well maybe #we r using the scientific method we're being very scientific abt it #(wife comes home over the weekend -> all of us watching for a personality change on wednesday) #HES JUST AN ASSHOLE. but really fucking funny if hes normal after this #he wont be. said through gritted teeth. i fucking hate him so bad worst teacher ive ever had #he said hed watch texas chainsaw over thr weekend for me but sorry. you made so many people cry #james bonding moment REVOKED. i will talk about tcm with anyone i can but Not You. bastard #LITERALLY. he made me cry whatever (its not whatever) but he literally made like. several of my friend have panic attacks lmao. #so no matter what he does over the course of rhe year im not gonna forget that. me when youre an asshole #ALSO LIKE HE WILL LITERALLY CALL US STUPID IN FRONT OF THE CLASS. brave words for a man within tattling to the guidance counselor distance

[wasteddmoondust]

the universe || sirius black

pairing: sirius black x reader 1.2k words, soulmate au, angst (i tried, really), happy ending, some language from this request! :) a/n: AHH i hope you really like this, i haven't written this much before but i think it was a good challenge!

Sirius feels like he shouldn't have looked. But he stares at the four little paw prints tattooed on your left shoulder blade, identical to the one he has.

But that was the thing with soulmates, wasn't it? One can never control how it happens, they just do. It was already written. He was meant to see this, and he's meant to do something about it.

There's a sinking feeling in his chest. He's not sure if he wants to do something about it.

Sirius doesn't believe in soulmates. At least that's what he wants himself to think.

It's too much commitment, he usually says to himself. Why can't I choose who I want to be with?

I've been following rules my whole life. What does the universe know about me and who I'm meant to be with? For the rest of my life? Who would want to be with me that long?

I'm not a good enough person, let alone for Y/N.

Who would even want to love someone like me?

That's usually where the thinking stops.

So he decides for himself. Going out to parties to pick and choose which girls to make out with. No strings attached, just his physical desires to be satisfied.

He knows it's massed up, even more so when you're at said parties, keeping a lookout for someone with your matching tattoo. And so Sirius keeps his shoulder covered. You don't know he's your soulmate, and a part of his never wants you to.

Unfortunately, you're good friends, and he doesn't want you getting hurt over the fact he doesn't want a soulmate.

By the time he's done sticking his tongue down another girl's throat, he usually hears that you've decided to call it an early night.

It all comes crashing down one New Year's Day.

It's the adrenaline of counting down in the very crowded room, and the feeling of someone grabbing him to be their New Year's kiss. Everyone welcomes the start of a new era with a cheer.

The party goes well into the night before Sirius decides to finally crash in his room. He immediately falls asleep as his head hits the pillow.

He wakes up with the usual hangover headache, but nothing a bowl of ice water can't fix. A quick shower and a carton of juice later, he checks his phone for his missed notifications.

Moony: wake up, get to the hospital now. Moony: Sirius where are you??? Moony: we're outside room 402 when you get here. Prongs: Y/N's sick again, we're heading home Prongs: she won't stop throwing up idk what to do Prongs: we're going to the emergency room Prongs: call me when you see this Lilypad: James and i are going to the hospital with Y/N, call us when you see this Lilypad: Sirius if you do not wake the fuck up right now i will actually come for your throat.

Sirius doesn't think he's gotten ready so quickly in his life. To be fair, he was still in his pyjamas, just adding his leather jacket and running out of the door with his keys, wallet and phone in hand.

When he arrives, he sees his three friends outside of the room you're in.

"What happened?" he asks, panting from all the running.

"They don't for sure know yet," Remus says, arms crossed and leaning against the wall.

Lily is sitting on the chair, her hair is tied messily in a ponytail. "They think it's soul-repelling."

Sirius furrows his brows, "What does that mean?"

"My parents talked about it once," James says from his seat next to Lily. "They used to talk about stories of people who constantly reject the soul bond they had with their soulmate, which would cause the other person to be very sick. Or in worse cases, die."

Lily visibly hates the way James says it, and he knows it. He tries to comfort her by holding her hand, their matching flower tattoos on their hands side-by-side.

"...But she doesn't know her soulmate yet?" Sirius asks carefully, trying to sound normal.

James shrugs. "She may not, but they say the way her body is reacting means her soulmates knows it's her."

Sirius feels his breath knock out, his heart pounding, realising what he's done. He's been rejecting their bond the entire time. All the while he thought he was doing himself a favour, he made her suffer for his selfish needs.

The ache in his heart is undeniable. He grabs the fabric that covers his heart and feels his breath get heavier.

"Sirius?" Remus calls, noticing his actions.

"It's- it's my fault..." Sirius feels tears start to prick at his eyes.

"What?"

"It was me," he starts to remove his jacket and shirt, showing the tattoo on his shoulder for the first time. "It's me-" his voice cracks. He turns to the door, "I need to get in there."

"Woah wait- Sirius!"

But he bursts through the door to the ward. He runs in and the first thing he notices is you staring at him, paler than he's ever seen you before. You have eyebags and you're heaving, as if you'd just thrown up before he came in.

The nurse next to you speaks up, "Sir, you can't be in here yet-"

"I'm sorry!" he yells, grabbing your hand and bending over the bed. He buries his face in your chest.

"Sirius?" you whisper, confused, but you finally see the print on his shoulder. "Oh."

"I've known for the longest time and that was so selfish of me. And it's still so selfish of me to want you still," tears are fully flowing down his cheeks now. "I've realised I cannot lose you. But would you allow me to be selfish one more time and ask for you to forgive me?"

If anything, you're too stunned to speak. One minute you were throwing your guts up and suddenly your best friend is crying in front of you and he's also your soulmate.

But at the same time, you start to feel your body be at ease. The nausea is already starting to subside. His warm hand in your cold one feels nice. Like two puzzle pieces finding each other.

You cough, feeling your throat finally clear. You look down, and SIrius is still crying, his question still hangs in the air. He waits for your answer.

"I hope you know you have a lot of making up to do after this," you say softly, smiling.

He heaves the biggest sigh of relief. He leans towards your hands and kisses them. "Of course, anything for you. Oh thank god."

You chuckle. "I'm so glad it's you, actually. I had a feeling."

He looks up at you, "Really? How'd you know?"

You shrug. "Just a feeling I guess. Probably a soulmate thing."

He smiles, the universe has his back, he thinks. "Can I kiss you?" He asks.

"Sirius I just threw up, I'm not letting you taste whatever is in my mouth right now," you say. "But the rest of my face is available."

He opts to kiss your cheek instead. And something in him clicks. It feels normal, it feels right.

Yeah, the universe definitely knew what they were doing.

#marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x you #marauders imagine

[theabigailthorn]

thank you (& November & Devon) for talking about the case report on TrashFuture! I can’t make myself read the thing (plus I have uni essays to write so don’t have the time) but now I can explain why it’s shit to my parents

and thank you all for what you said at the end - it was really impactful & made me cry. I’d already pledged to myself not to become another one of those statistics but hearing that from three people I look up to helps to cement that commitment to live even though things are fucked

I was proud of that episode, I think we did some moral good by making it if nothing else. I'm glad it's a useful resource for you

[octuscle]

I like the work the Chronivac did to “assist” that office. I definitely wouldn’t mind if my 9-5 colleagues were as inspired to hit the gym, instead. Maybe there’s a training video I can share with them?

Strictly speaking, you're not exactly a sporting ace… Okay, you go swimming twice a week. You eat a reasonably healthy diet. You're one of the fitter ones in the company. But you're also one of the youngest. You have advantages there… In any case, you've already submitted a proposal for a fitness program to the internal suggestion scheme. Let's see what effect that will have. But now you have to get on with your work.

After a few days, you will receive a parcel by internal mail. "Stephen, is that you?" you ask in amazement. Stephen is your age and has been in the post office for ages. He's actually a skinny, pimply guy who you've always felt sorry for. But now you're looking at a muscular jock who smells of sweat and musk. "My name is Steve, are you Robert Hitch?" "Dude, we've known each other for five years, you should know my name is Mike." Steve grins, shrugs his shoulders, puts the package on your desk, takes a deep breath from his armpit and says he doesn't give a shit.

Robert Hitch is your boss. Steve should have known that. The package is from Chronivac Inc. Doesn't tell you anything. But it's personally addressed to Robert. Although you actually have better things to do, you drop the package off at Robert's. He looks a little horrified. As if you had caught a child reaching into the candy drawer. He asks who the parcel is from. You shrug your shoulders. He wipes a little sweat from his forehead. But that's nothing special. The fat pig sweats all the time.

You forget the story after a few minutes. The stock markets are going crazy, you have your hands full. At some point during the evening, you receive an e-mail from Robert. It goes to the whole department. Subject: Mens sana in corpore sano. It's actually about promoting physical fitness. There is a link to a piece of software that you should download. You do that and go back to the risk profile of your bond portfolio.

Frederique and Jean-Paul are the two stars of your investment banking. Both have a knack for making quick and correct decisions. They are among the few people who are still at the bank at this time of day. You drop by for a chat with them. As usual, they are hardly distracted by the screens. When you ask them if they have downloaded the software, they just nod their heads. Have they looked at it yet? A shake of the head. Okay, you're not going to get into a conversation here.

When you come into the office the next morning, you see Marcus and James sitting spellbound in front of their screens. The two of them are staring at pictures of fitness models doing strength exercises. You ask if this has anything to do with the link from yesterday. James says he has no idea what that shit is about. He's here to work, not to exercise. Marcus nods. But neither of them turn their heads away from the screen for a second.

You ask if you should bring them a coffee. They both shake their heads. Marcus mumbles something about whether there are protein shakes in the coffee kitchen. You think it's a joke.

There are actually canisters of protein powder in the coffee kitchen. You think for a moment about whether you should really bring Marcus a shake. But why would he drink a protein shake? You regularly go out for lunch together. You've already talked about God and the world. But never about food supplements.

As you're on your way back to work with your coffee, it almost falls out of your hand. Marcus and James are sitting over their work again. So presumably. There are definitely two men sitting in their seats, working. But neither of them looks like Marcus. Or like James. They're both talking and every other word is "bro" or "fuck". But they're obviously working on the quarterly report again. Something is strange. Very strange.

As you pass Mr. Hitch's office, your coffee falls out of your hand. You stare at the person who sounds so much like Robert. As if Robert spoke a deep, well-trained bass. But the man looks different. "Shit, bruhs, we have to change da dress code. Shoulder coverings only optional from now on. Shit, bruhs! sun's out, guns out!"

Your productivity is limited. In the department chat, people who have never been interested in sport exchange tips on how to gain mass as quickly as possible. Steve drops off the mail and asks you if you know what a protein fart is. You shake your head and Steve shows you. Shit, that stinks unnaturally. Roaring laughter from the surrounding tables. Someone shouts "Attention, en voici un autre!" And shortly afterwards you hear the incredible sound of a fart. You get up and see who it came from. At Frederique and Jean-Paul's desk, two giants are having a lively discussion. Your French is not very good. But they're obviously arguing about whether the current share price of Chronivac Inc. is undervalued. The one you think is Frederique is flexing his tattooed biceps. And the other one laughs and says "Acheter! Acheter!"

You've never wanted an individual office so much. The air is cutting. Sweat, musk, protein farts. You take another look at Robert's email from last night. You open the link. And you can't take your eyes off the screen. You feel the urge to wank your boner. A wet spot forms on your pants… You take off your jacket with some difficulty. Phew, you stink of sweat. Ads for tank tops appear on the screen. Shit, if you don't go straight to the toilet and jerk off now, you're going to cum in your pants.

The toilet is very busy. You see how Robert has put one of his department heads against the wall and is shagging him. You stand at a urinal and take out your hard-on. Steve approaches from behind. You don't have to jerk off on your own, he is happy to help you.

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #chronivac #inked man #tank top #ai image

[hello-nichya-here]

Yes, Buffy loved Spike

The way people act like that was in anyway left up to discussion by the show is legit hilarious/infuriating.

James Marsters (Spike) has said in an interview that, when Joss Whedon let him know that Spike was gonna fall in love with Buffy in season five, he had assumed it would one-sided - only for Whedon to correct him with a "Oh no, she's gonna fall in love with you too."

And the show wasn't shy about it either. Through seasons six and seven, we are shown Buffy repeatedly denying that she loves Spike - and then immediatelly contradicting herself either through actions or her own words (and even in season five she had already kissed him once after he did not give away her sister's identiy to Glory even after being tortured).

After Buffy comes back from the dead - from heaven - and is dragged to the literal hellmouth, having to crawl out of her grave, she sees the Buffy-bot being torn from limb by a bunch of demons. Naturally, this fucks with her head a bit. She manages to save her friends, but she is still very shaken, and looking like she's not really fully back to her senses as her sister is speaking to her. It really does look like something is very wrong and that she is not at all the same girl we once knew.

Then she hears Spike's voice and goes to see him. Only when she sees HIM, when HE starts trying to talk to her, when HE is the one taking care of her, does she start to properly respond. And, of course, out of all the people there - all of whom are worried about her and that she supposedly trusts way more than she trusts this "fully evil" vampire - Spike is the one to whom she reveals what actually happened to her.

During the musical episode, we see her sing "I touch the fire and it freezes me, I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peal - I want the fire back" confirming to us that her depression after being taken from heaven was not just a temporary consequence of the shock of it all, and has left her completely disconnected from the people she loved, and from life itself, and that she does not know if it can ever be fixed.

But at the end of the episode, after Spike stops her from basically commiting suicide (because remember, he stopped BUFFY. not the bad guy) she sings to Spike "This isn't real, but I just wanna feel" right before they kiss. And Spike's own song says "I died so many years ago. You can make me feel like it isn't so."

It is very clear that what convinced Buffy to keep on living wasn't just because Spike loved her - she already knew that, and she also her friends and this has not done anything to make her less depressed. What makes her not give up is realizing that SHE can still connect to others, SHE still can have feelings for someone. Only it is with her former mortal enemy instead of her friends and family (she had even said in an earlier episode that he was the only person she could stand to be around) and the kiss makes it obvious that this new bond she has with Spike is NOT platonic.

And the following episode when she tries to pretend it means nothing? It has her acting all flirty with Spike while they're both dealing with the amnesia spell, and once their memories return the episode ends with her kissing him AGAIN.

And during ALL of the episodes she's claming she is totally disgusted by him? She's having sex with him all the time. And when Tara finds out about it, Buffy does admit she's using him, but she refuses to give an answer when Tara asks "Do you love him?"

When Spike brings a date to Xander's wedding , Buffy KNOWS is just to get her jealous and Spike even admits to it - and she admits that, even knowing all of that, it DOES bother her. She is unbelievably distraught after finding out he slept with Anya, and even says to his face "I have feelings for you, I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for that" showing us that the thing stopping Buffy from truly giving Spike a chance is, understandably, the "You're a literal souless creature that needs to feed on people to survive" factor, not because their connection is not genuine or strong enough, or because of her past with Angel.

Not to mention, it makes perfect sense that, during the season she was clearly suicidal, she falls in love with the character that is representing the possibility of her death - their first time even happens after Spike reveals that, for some reason, the chip no longer causes him pain when he attacks her, and thus he actually poses a threat to her again.

Unhealthy? Absolutely. Scary? Fuck yes. Does she get over her "feelings that are totally not love" in the season finale, when she's crawling "out of her grave" again, this time triumphantly, in the sunlight, all brave and finally letting go of her self loathing? NOPE!

In season seven, when she's finally about to go out with a man that is not and has never been evil, her friends are all obviously wondering if this is a sign that she is over Spike - of if she's just pretending to. Buffy's response? THE biggest Freudian Slip she's ever had in the series.

"Why does everyone in this house think that I'm still in love with Spike?"

STILL!

Still. In. Love.

Not "Why is everyone convinced that I fell in love with Spike? I told you guys I liked him, but didn't love him" but "Why do you guys think I'm not over those totally vague, definitively not deep 'feelings' I had and that were 100% not just a code for 'Yes, I am in love with him, but I'm scared it will blow up in my face'?"

And how does that date with that Not Evil guy, that was revealed to be the son of Slayer, go? Pretty well! It looks like this romance might actually have a chance of going somewhere.

At least until she goes "Look, I know Spike killed your mom when he was souless and all, but if you try to go after him to get revenge again, he will murder you, and I will let him." She also turns her back on her watcher, and father figure, when she finds out he was in on the plan to kill this vampire that is Totally-Not-Her-Boyfriend.

The episode even has Giles directly compare her codependent bond with Spike to what she had with Angel - which again, included her letting Angelus get away and kill people. Sure, Spike has a soul now, he let the dude live to tell the tale since killing his mom WAS an awful thing to do, and if he was attacked again and killed him it would be self-defense - but it's impossible not to notice the very clear "Buffy is protecting her man" tone of it all.

Not to mention, before that, Spike offers to leave Sunnydale since Buffy's potential new boyfriend clearly can help her find demons and thus she no longer needs him around - and she full on says that SHE IS NOT READY FOR HIM NOT TO BE THERE.

Then, of course, there's "Touched." The episode in which EVERYONE is going "We might die tomorrow, lets fuck to cope", and not only is Buffy clearly touched (Get it? Get it?) by Spike's speech about how much he loves her, she asks him to get in bed with her and hold her. And even though they are not having sex, the scenes of them cuddling are being framed as being just as intimate and romantic as the scenes of everyone else making love to their partners. Again, we had Giles full on state the obvious to Buffy: she and Spike might not be sleeping together anymore, but they are VERY clearly acting like they're still in a relationship, even if both are now hesitant to give it a try after literally everything went wrong for them.

The following day, Spike says that it was the happiest night of his life, and when he starts saying that he knows it obviously didn't mean as much for Buffy as it did to him, she corrects him and says it absolutely did. Spike even goes as far as trying to confirm it AGAIN by asking "Were you there with me?" to which Buffy says "I was", which is HUGE considering she had just admited to him the previous night that she had always cut herself off from everyone - Spike VERY much included - due to being the slayer.

"Oh, but what about the Bangel kiss in the finale?"

The one Joss Whedon explicitly refered to as "the show's way of servicing the Bangel fans" aka FANSERVICE? The one that came right out of nowhere as the signature of Bangel's "romantic chemistry" is angsty pining? The one that didn't hold a candle to one of the few Bangel scenes I say absolutely worked, aka the kiss after Angel comes back to Sunnydale to help Buffy deal with her grief over her mother and that only happened after they had spend HOURS together because, surprise surprise, it doesn't matter if they still have feelings for each other, they have NEVER had this dynamic of exes that just casually make out with each other the second they are in the same room together?

The one that happens right before Buffy says "Sorry, you won't be the vampire champion that will save the world, I'm chosing Spike for that role"? The one that is followed by an obviously jealous Angel making it very clear to Buffy that he is bitter she's "brushing him off for captain peroxide"? And then she asks if he'll react that way everytime she gets a BOYFRIEND?

When Angel points out that, again, she just let slip how she actually feels about Spike, Buffy has to deny it because Joss Whedon thought the ONLY way to make sure viewers didn't miss that Buffy is totally an independent woman that don't need no man was to tease both the possibility of a Bangel AND a Spuffy endgame just to go "Sorry, Buffy is gonna choose to be single."

HOWEVER, even the way she does that has changed significantly, as she says "He is not my boyfriend, but he is in my heart." Notice how, unlike all the previous times, Buffy is not trying to diminish what she has with Spike.

She went from "I slept with Spike/said I feelings for him BUT this totally means nothing and I could NEVER love him because he doesn't have a soul like Angel did" to "Look, Angel, I swear that Spike is totally not my boyfriend BUT I will treat him like he is because I absolutely do have feelings for him. Could you pretty, pretty please go back to L.A. now that the fanservice moment is over? I'll even end it with a 'sometimes I totally think of what could happen between us someday' so we can pretend our romance has not been officially pronounced 'impossible to ever be endgame' since season three of my show and season one of your show?"

And where does she immediatelly go to after this? To see Spike. Because she wants another night of cuddling with him. Then The First shows up in the middle of the night to torment her, he explicitly refers to Spike as Buffy's vampire LOVER.

Finally, the final battle is happening, and Spike is about to die saving the world, and Buffy, with tears in her eyes finally says that she loves him. Whedon had even said to Sarah "Be proud of him. Love him when saying it." We even see literal flames as they are holding hands - an obvious nod to the musical, with the "I want the fire (feeling) back", and Whedon basically confirmed it by saying it was a very deliberate choice to symbolize the feelings the characters have for each other. It is the visual representation of Buffy FINALLY accepting that she truly does love Spike.

"Oh, but he responds 'No, you don't, but thanks for saying it' implying Buffy was only trying to make sure he would die happy!"

Did you guys forget EVERYTHING ELSE I just mentioned in this post? Or the fact, at that point, Spike is still processing the guilt of all the monstruous things he did as a vampire now that he has a soul again? Did you forget him literally asking Buffy to kill him for what he did and telling her that the soul did not suddenly make him good - only for HER to be the one to say he fought back against the monster inside of him and that she believes in him?

Again, James Marsters gave us his insight on what he felt Spike meant by that line and how he played it: Spike was saying that Buffy COULDN'T love him. Not yet. Because he didn't feel he deserved it yet. It was not the right time for them. Yet.

"Oh, but in the late seasons of Angel, when Spike is brought back to life, he is told that Buffy never truly loved him!" Yeah, he is told that - BY ANGEL! In what world would he, Buffy's ex that has had problems with Spike since long before Buffy was even born and that had already admited that having her pick Spike over him "did not bring out the champion in him", not be extremely biased?

"But you're forgetting the Buffy comics in which she is basically told Angel is her soulmate and sleeps with him during some magical fuckery that made her go mad with power!"

Yeah, and in those same comics, even though it took forever and Whedon just HAS to force the "Buffy ends the story chosing to be single because she can either be a strong female character OR be in a happy relationship" AGAIN, she and Spike became a couple after all of that, with her explicitly telling him WHAT SHE HAD WITH ANGEL IS IN THE PAST, and the ending even suggests is only a matter of time before she and Spike get back together again, this time for good.

Claiming that it was up for debate if Buffy ever truly loved Spike is as ridiculous as if I said "I know we are both shown and told many times that Angel and Buffy slept together in season two, but I actually think it's up for the debate if they truly did" NO, IT ISN'T!

We are shown how Buffy's feelings for Spike grow over time, how her dynamic with him changes, how she is actively choosing him over everybody else after he gets his soul, and both the character and the people involved in making the show EXPLICITLY SAY she loves him.

You can dislike it, but don't expect everyone else to cover their ears and close their eyes to pretend it wasn't clear that Spike's love for Buffy has not been one-sided for a VERY long time.

#spuffy

[darklinaforever]

So...

I saw someone say that Severus was creepy and possessive towards Lily... We're talking about the guy who always let Lily have her own friends and left her alone as soon as she asked him to, just for information.

Oh, and also that apparently he was bullying Petunia thus probably destroying any chance of the bond between her and Lily returning. WTF ?! He accidentally dropped a branch on her when he was, what ? 10 / 11 years old ? I do not know anymore. Also, I remember that it was actually James who completely ruined Petunia and Lily's slim chances of coexisting.

Also, quite simply, Petunia was basically horrible to Lily because she was jealous. Severus has nothing fucking to do with it.

Then obviously say he linked up with bigoted racists. You know... during a period where he was experiencing misery at home, his friendship with Lily deteriorating and him essentially being a reject at school ? Like... It's pretty obvious that the guy is influenced. Are people aware that we can also join this type of dangerous stupidity through manipulation and not just by choice ? No ? All right. Because I feel like people forget that Severus is actually a half blood.

The person went so far as to say that Severus loving Lily, was like a member of the Klu Klux Klan falling in love with a black woman...

Also, to say that apparently he hoped Lily would come back to him by saving her from Voldemort and leaving James and Harry to die, which... is false ? He just wanted to save her because he loves her ? He didn't expect her to fall into his arms ? Where the fuck does this shit come from !?

Oh, and also, the funniest thing, complaining that he betrayed the Death Eaters... because then that would prove that this guy has no loyalty.

Or maybe that just goes to show that he didn't really know what he was doing in this big mess ? Just an idea like that.

And so obviously complaining that he's only faithful to Lily which is apparently very unhealthy.

Also, apparently, nothing makes him gray, his redemption is bogus. Harry naming his son after him is stupid and Lily would probably hate Severus in the afterlife.

And this all came from someone hating James & Lily as a character and romance.

Like... how can you misunderstand a character so much ? The HP Saga has many flaws for me, but the character of Snape is clearly in the top tier and an excellent gray character.

And I don't understand why a lot of people find it disgusting, twisted and sick that he did good things in honor of Lily's memory, still loves her and has the same patronus as her. Like... I really don't understand. Why do people try to blacken and pervert everything ? Oh I know. They are allergic to complexity.

Yes, Snape wasn't the best teacher in the world. Favored his house and let the Slytherin students annoy the Gryffindors but frankly with his past, we can understand why he became the way he is. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to mentally move on from the horrible things that have happened to us. Especially since adolescence has a big impact on our future life.

#severus snape #pro severus snape #snape fandom #professor snape #pro snape #anti marauders #anti james potter #anti lily evans #anti lily potter #anti jily #harry potter #hp #harry potter fandom #hp fandom #snily #pro snily #tw klu klux klan #snape #anti snaters #severus snape fandom

[h-c-u]

Uncertainty

Summary: You're a 3rd driver for the Mercedes team, in a secret relationship with the team principal and you fill in for Lewis during the race. The car malfunctions, you completely lose control over the steering and can't avoid crashing. And it's bad. 

Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!driver!reader

W/C: 6.1k

Rating: M. Car crash, talk about injuries and surgeries.

TWs: Car crash, near death injuries

A/N: I swear to gods, my mood when it comes to writing changes so quickly -,- It's dark, sad, and heavy. Also - like 90% of the fic is happening when the reader is in surgery, but the idea just dug it's claws into my brain and didn't want to let go.

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- Bono, something's wrong with the steering, there is a slight delay in response, and I'm unable to predict how much I should correct. - you were honestly getting scared. You didn't want to lose the 5th position, especially this late in the race. You knew yourself well enough that you could get at least 3rd before the end, but not with a car that behaved like that. 

- I'm running the diagnostic now to see if we'll be able to do something about it remo... FUCK. CRASH. Be careful. - you instantly felt cold, but it wasn't your first time in a dangerous situation. When Bono told you about the crash, you hadn't seen it just yet, because it was hidden behind a turn, and as soon as you turned...

- Breaks are not working. And I completely lost control over the steering. - everything was happening in slow motion, and you couldn't do anything. There was no fancy "eject" button like in a James Bond movie; you were able to just watch and brace for impact. - Bono. I'm going to crash into them. Don't let me die. - you whispered, tears very slowly gathering in your eyes under the helmet. 

You didn't say another word. You didn't swear, you didn't scream. You knew what was about to happen and somehow you managed to remain calm. You just fastened the straps holding you to the seat even more and held your arms close to your chest. 

You heard people screaming over the comms, familiar voices full of panic and desperation but the one voice you were hoping to hear... wasn't there. So whatever others were saying didn't matter. 

And then you were flying. The nose of your car wedged under someone else, and it sent you into a barrel on the track. You closed your eyes, not to get nauseous, but it was a small comfort, especially when the car turned to its side and continued to barrel toward the wall. How you were able to stay conscious for so long - you weren't sure, but then suddenly... there was nothing. 

- TOTO, NO! YOU CAN'T GO THERE! THERE IS PROTOCOL!

- FUCK PROTOCOL!!! - he was trying his best to get from Bono's and Ricardo's strong arms, but they held him steady and didn't let him run out of the garage.

- Medics and the crew are already at the scene. She will be in the ambulance before you get to that part of the track. - James stepped in front of the man, blocking his way, and put his hand on his boss's chest stopping him from moving any further. No one ever saw Toto this distressed. Sure, he could get angry, but this... This was different. - Calm down and think. 

- I... I can't. - his shoulders slumped and even though he wasn't trashing and trying to get out anymore, his thoughts were galloping at the speed of light, running through every possible scenario. - I just can't... - Bono and Ric loosened their grip on his body and exchanged a worried look with the technical director. - I don't know what to do... - he admitted, his voice completely broken. 

- We're gonna get to the hospital and we'll go from there. - James realized it was his turn to think about everything, and even though he didn't completely understand why Toto reacted this way - he wanted to help in whatever way he could. All of the people in the garage were shaken up, but this... This was new. Toto was oozing fear and desperation from everywhere. His posture, his voice, the frantic look in his eyes... - Toto. - the technical director wasn't sure if his words even reached his friend, but Wolff finally nodded slowly. - Yeah...? - he made sure. 

- Yeah. Hospital. Let's go. - he whispered eventually. He was in no condition to drive, so he let his friend do that. He didn't take his eyes from the view behind the window once, even though he was seeing none of what they were passing. He dug his nails into his knees, bit his lower lip until he drew blood, and tried his best not to break down completely. Not before he knew if you were dead or alive. 

When they arrived at the hospital, Toto didn't even wait for James to park properly, he was out of the car as soon as they reached the entrance. He run into the emergency room and quickly located the admission desk, but before he said anything, he took one last, deep breath. 

- Hello, my name is Toto Wolff. I'm the emergency contact for Y/n Y/l/n. I would like to know in what condition she's in. - his voice was surprisingly calm. Even in such a state, he knew that whatever happened wasn't the nurses' fault and he didn't want to take out whatever he felt on them. 

- I have to confirm your identity first. Can I see your ID? - the old nurse asked, but she was already typing something on the keyboard. Toto frantically patted his pockets in search of a wallet, momentarily mortified, because he got afraid that he left it in his bag, in the garage, but James came to his rescue with said wallet. He quickly fished out his ID and presented it to the nurse. 

- She was admitted about 10 minutes ago and is being prepped for the surgery. She already had a head CT, but there are no results yet. There is also no information about planned procedures. - she explained with a soft tone, even though the news she was sharing wasn't exactly... good. 

- What does it mean...? - Toto asked, fearing the worst. 

- It means there was a head injury and she's unconscious. They don't know exactly what's wrong, but it's serious enough for emergency surgery with neuro, orthopedic and cardiothoracic surgeons. - she added, quieter. Sure, she could have omitted a few facts, but something told her that it would have the opposite effect on the man in front of her. 

- Her... Her heart...? - if he weren’t holding the high counter in front of the admission desk, he would have slumped to the floor. 

- Or lungs. - she clarified. - I'm sorry I can't give you better news... But she's in the best hands in the country. I will ask one of our interns to take you to a waiting room... - she waved at one of the young men, who was currently filling out papers, and quickly told him what to do. - And sir... - she added, just when they were about to leave the area. - It will be a long surgery, but the longer the wait, the better. It means that she's still fighting. - that was the first thing that gave him hope... You were still alive. Still fighting. And you weren't the type of person who easily gave up. 

Toto Wolff was not a religious man. He honestly couldn't remember when was the last time he visited any place of worship, but now... Now he was going through every prayer he knew. He begged every god, every angel, every demon, every saint he could think of, not to let you die, and if that's necessary - to take him instead. Logically he knew that wasn't possible, but he was willing to try everything, no matter how stupid it seemed at the moment.

James left his side only once, to get some shitty coffee from the machine, but it was left untouched in between Toto's feet. He didn't know what to say, what to do... Other people came and went. The pit crew, engineers, other team principals, drivers... A few stayed. Mostly other drivers, and from the closer circle - James, Bono, George... And Lewis - without even saying a word was on a video call with Bono, feeling extremely guilty. 

- Did... - George finally broke the silence. - Did anyone call her family? - he asked, and Toto just clenched his fists. 

- She doesn't have one. - he whispered eventually. - She's an only child and went no-contact with her parents just as she started racing. - he added and the others looked at him trying to hide the surprise. - She will kill anyone who’ll let them know about anything even remotely connected to her life. So as far as things go... she doesn't have a family. - he ended in a harsher tone than he intended and almost immediately sighed. 

He was still in the clothes he was wearing during the race... The track pass was tucked in the pocket on his chest, and the headphones were still around his neck, but he didn't even notice them, and no one in the room dared to say a word. 

Just as three hours passed since they arrived, a young-looking woman called out your last name, and the four men immediately stood up, three with hope, one in fear, because it was much too quick for the surgery to end. 

- Hello, my name is Alex and I'm one of the residents helping with your... - she stuttered for a second, realizing she didn't know the relationship between her patient and the men in the waiting room. - With Y/n's surgery. We were able to stop the bleeding in her brain and remove all the debris lodged there without major issues. The head of neurosurgery is currently reversing all four of the aneurysms, but compared to what we already did - it's the easiest thing. - she started explaining and everyone except Toto sighed with relief. 

- What else...? - he asked, afraid of the further news. - Please tell us everything, no matter how small or ugly. I need to know... - he pleaded, and James put his hand on his boss’s shoulder. There was some hesitation on the young doctor’s face, but eventually, she continued. 

- Eight of her ribs are broken... Two of them were lodged in her right lung and the cardiothoracic surgeon was able to remove one and is working on the second. One pierced her kidney, but due to the positioning... The lungs take priority. Her spinal cord is intact, but three of the lumbar vertebrae are fractured and we will have to realign them later. Her right femur is broken in six places, left in two and our head of ortho is currently working on that. Both of her tibias and feet are by some miracle intact. All the bones in her shoulders, arms, forearms, wrists, and hands are also free of any injuries. She didn't sustain any burns or lacerations because of the suit, which will help during her recovery. - with every word the relief disappeared more and more from the men's faces, and Toto's lips became almost invisible. 

- Her heart...? - he asked eventually. 

- Intact and strong. She's not on any assistance during the surgery, although we're ready for that if the need arises. She's a fighter. - the young doctor added with a gentle smile. 

- You've mentioned her recovery... Does that mean...? - he was afraid to finish the question, especially when he saw Alex's face drop just a little.

- I... I shouldn't have said that. I can't promise you any type of outcome, especially with such severe injuries. - her voice softened. - We know what's wrong. We know how to fix it. And we will do our best to do so. Three of the best surgeons in the country are currently working together to keep her alive, so objectively - the chances of success are high. But I can't promise you that everything will be perfect. – Toto nodded, acknowledging the situation. 

- Thank you for taking the time to explain everything to us. - he whispered, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. - Would it be too much if I asked for an update after every major stage? Doesn't matter if good or bad... I just need to know... - George was the one to notice how shaky Toto truly was, so he helped him sit down, so the man wouldn't fall over. 

- It wouldn't be too much at all. I was planning to do so anyway... But it... - she started, but Wolff cut her off.

- It's gonna be a long surgery, I was told. I will be here. - his voice was stronger than his body, and the young doctor gave him one last smile before she turned around and went back to the operating block. 

None of the men knew what to say, so they just sat in silence, trying to process what has happened. 

There was a moment when George started quietly sobbing, and without even thinking, Toto put his arm around him and pulled him into a hug, trying to give him the comfort he so desperately needed himself. But the only person who could give it to him was currently lying cut open on the operating table. 

- George, you officially got second place with 18 points... - James eventually broke the silence, but none of them were able to say after how long, because time had become something immeasurable. - Congratulations... - he added, but that was the last thing on young driver's mind. Few other drivers in the waiting room took out their phones to check the results, but in the end - there were more important things than that. 

- Holly shit. - someone whispered and almost immediately added. - Y/n crashed after the red flag. She got 5th. With the fastest lap. - all heads turned to Carlos, who was sitting on the floor. Even Toto couldn't believe what he just heard. He knew you were good, damn... He believed in you since day one, that's why he was so quick to sign you. And now... Now Y/n Y/l/n was officially the first woman since 1975 who scored points in F1, which was a historical achievement. 

- She got 11 points... - James confirmed after checking his email once again. And then there was silence again. There should be a celebration, all of them knew that. And even though someone will contest that, because technically you wouldn't be able to finish the race if it were resumed, and your team would fight tooth and nail for that not to be taken away... But for now, in the official FIA statement, you finished in 5th place. 

There were some murmurs and whispers, but none of it mattered to Toto more than you actually living, so when he saw the familiar face of a young doctor again, he almost jumped from his seat. 

- Hello again... - she smiled, which he took as a good sign. - The orthopedic surgeon finished working on her legs and we were able to close them. There was no additional damage to the thigh muscles, so we didn't have to take any part of them, which means that she will be able to regain a full range of movements, in time of course. The neurosurgeon just finished reversing the aneurysms, and the new head CT didn't show any additional injuries, so we will be able to slowly close her skull as well. We were also able to remove the other rib from her lung, and the head of cardio is currently working on repairing her right lung, but we don't know for sure if it is viable, which means... - she stopped for a moment, not sure how the man in front of her would react to such news. 

- That there is a chance you will have to remove it. But she could live with just one lung, right? - he made sure.

- With some restrictions, but yes. 

- Then in the end it doesn't matter. How about her kidney and spine? - he asked, eager to know more. 

- The kidney is being worked on as we speak, but the spine... - she stopped for a moment, trying to find the best words to explain the situation to someone unfamiliar with medical jargon. - The best way to get to the lumbar vertebrae would be from the back, which would require a change of position. And since the injuries on the front of her body are so extensive, the new position might be dangerous for her, so there will be benefits to closing her up, letting the body rest and regenerate for a few days, and proceeding with second surgery later in a week. 

- Wouldn't leaving it as it is, be dangerous as well? I mean - is there a chance of the fragments moving and injuring her spinal cord?

- That's exactly why we haven't decided on the best course of action just yet. We still have to finish working on her kidney, lung, and ribs, while the neurosurgeon assesses which option would be the safest and does more scans to see if going from the front would be possible. It's unconventional, but it has been successfully done. - she explained and Toto nodded. 

- Thank you for explaining that to me... - she just smiled gently and walked away. 

It was the first time he looked at the clock, and it was almost midnight, but he didn't feel that at all. Time was weird, because he felt like the crash had happened just a few seconds ago, and at the same time as if centuries passed since he saw your car barreling down the track. And then he heard an unfamiliar voice calling out your name. He instantly turned around in that direction and saw a medical responder in full gear. She repeated your name once again and Toto finally put his hand up. 

She quickly came closer and sat in front of him.

- Good evening, sir... I was one of the first responders to the crash, and I was responsible for intubating Y/n. - she started explaining, and Toto was too exhausted to ask what it was about, or even to introduce himself. - But before I did that... She was awake for just a moment. And she asked me to pass the message, the problem is... I don't know to whom. - it was like he caught a second wind because he instantly focused on the woman in front of him. 

- What did she say...? - he asked, leaning forward. He knew everyone was listening, but he didn't care. 

- She said... "Why didn't I say it back... Please tell him that I love him." - Toto blinked a few times as if the words had trouble reaching him, but when they finally did... He started to laugh like a maniac, and everyone looked at him in worry that he actually snapped or went crazy.

Earlier today, when you were both just waking up with the first rays of sunshine peeking over the horizon, he said those three magic words for the first time... Three words, eight letters... He didn't expect anything in return, because he knew how hard expressing any emotions came to you, but it was important to him to assure you that he, indeed, loved you and wasn't planning to go anywhere. He also knew that you loved him, because you had your own way of showing that to him... 

So, to hear that when you were convinced you were dying, the last thought in your mind was telling him something he already knew for a while was... a bit absurd. But then it hit him... You did that because you thought that he didn't know you loved him. And your possible last thought was letting him know that you weren't in it just for fun, that you were serious about your relationship. And that made him freeze. 

- Sir...? - the lady in front of him reached to touch him but stopped last second. 

- I'm sorry... I know who that message was for... Thank you for passing it on. - he gave her a weak smile, and she just nodded. - And thank you for what you did for her... It means a lot to me. - he added quieter, and just like that, she was gone. 

The atmosphere in the waiting room was still extremely tense, but that didn't stop a few of the drivers from dozing off. Someone even ordered pizzas, but Toto didn't move... He didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't say anything... He was a shell of himself while his heart was being cut open, stabbed, prodded, and stitched back up on the operating table just a few meters away. 

And while at first people were brushing it off as a team principal caring for his driver, the few closest to him realized that there was more. Finally, Bono had enough and sat right next to him.

- How long...? - he whispered quietly enough that no one else was able to hear. 

- I don't know what... - Toto immediately wanted to deny everything and play stupid, but one look from his friend and he folded. - 5 months... - he said, barely any sound leaving his lips. 

- And the thing the paramedic said...? - he asked, but only got a nod in reply. - Shiiiiiiit... - this time Toto looked at him confused. - I lost the betting pool.

- What? 

- We have... Well, now had... A betting pool because we noticed that you were much happier for quite some time. The most popular option was antidepressants, and I bet on that, not gonna lie. - Toto just blinked a few times, still trying to process what was being said. - There was also a winning streak, therapy, someone you hated dying, that you got laid, but Lewis was the only one that bet on a new relationship. I mean - there were a few more people who bet on the relationship, but Lewis nailed the 5 months. - Toto still couldn't believe what he was hearing, but somehow, the absurdity of the situation helped him relax just a little.

- You make bets... about my private life? - he was genuinely curious if it was the first time. 

- Well... Yeah. Because you're all mysterious and shit. It's easy to make up some crazy stories just for fun. - Bono just shrugged. - None of us suspected that you and her... I mean, in public, you were equally close with... - he stopped and pointed with his chin in the direction of the familiar face in blue scrubs. 

- We were able to save the lung and a kidney. All ribs are secured in their places. - Toto sighed with relief for the first time since he saw the car tumbling on the tracks. - The head of neuro managed to find a way to repair the vertebrae from the front, but it will be a long procedure. The angle he has to go in from is very unusual and taxing, but we will be able to do everything today. Her vitals are stable, her heart is strong... She's doing well, sir. We still don't know the extent of her brain injury, which will have to wait till she wakes up, but we are optimistic that she will. - she smiled softly and gently squeezed his arm. 

- Thank you... - and with that, she was gone again, and Toto looked around the waiting room... It was almost 3 AM, and the surgery started... around 10 hours ago. And yet the whole younger generation of drivers was here, most of them still in gear... Some were on the uncomfortable chairs, some quietly talking, and few even fell asleep on the floor. Even though you were all competitors, and you weren't even a full-seat driver yet, they still respected you and your skills a lot. - Guys, I think you should go back to your hotels and get some sleep... Or just rest... I'll let you know in the morning how the surgery went. - few heads turned in his direction, but no one moved. Lando finally broke the silence. 

- With all due respect sir, she wouldn't leave any of us... - Toto couldn't help but feel... pride. Not just for you, but for them. Just 10 years ago this type of situation wouldn't be possible... After the crash, maybe one or two drivers, who were the closest to the injured one, would be in the hospital, but never for this long... And never this many... They were good kids, and it meant that the times were changing. 

- I can't disagree with that... - he smiled. - Thank you all. - he added and sat right back. Now, that most of your injuries were under control, he let himself think of anything else, and that turned out to be those boys behind him. He quickly wrote a few messages to the other team principals, letting them know where most of their drivers were and asking them to arrange at least a change of clothes, because the majority of them still had sensors under their gear, and that must have been uncomfortable. He also took time to bring every single one of them a cup of that awfully sweet hot chocolate and spent a few minutes talking with them one on one about whatever they needed to get off their chests. And next to being worried about you, most of them were scared... 

It took a while, but he finally came back to his original chair and for the first time - leaned back in it and stretched, but that wasn't near enough for him to release all the tension collected in his body. But now... Now he allowed himself to hope. 

The next time he saw Alex, she was with another doctor, and it was already getting bright outside. All of the drivers - now in regular clothing - were sleeping on each other in different combinations, and only George was awake beside himself. 

- The operation was a success... - she started, and Toto felt as if someone finally took the weight of the whole world from his shoulders, the relief of it forcing tears out of his eyes. - She's already stitched up, and soon we will move her to a recovery room, where you will be able to see her - for the first few hours, just through the glass and then in person. - you lived. That's all that mattered. - She will be in a medically induced coma for at least a few days to prevent her brain from swelling more. We will continue monitoring her, and based on the results we will decide when will be the best time to wake her up. - the young doctor explained and when she looked over the waiting room, she added. - She... She's stable, but she doesn't look well... - the tone of her voice was enough to convey what she really wanted to say. 

- They won't take no for an answer... They will want to see her. - he quietly said. - They look young, well, they are young... It's hard to explain, but they need to see her. They need to see for themselves that she's alive... - Alex looked at the older doctor who gave silent permission. - Thank you for all you did... For saving her...

- I can take you to see her now, but the rest... Groups of 3 the most. - Toto nodded and another sigh of relief escaped his chest. He still couldn't believe what happened. When he saw the crash, he was mentally preparing for the funeral, but now... Now you were alive. Still extremely injured and with months if not years of therapy in front of you, but you were alive. Fuck everything else. 

- Can you give me a minute...? I'd like to tell them myself. - he explained and after getting a quiet “sure”, he went first to Bono and James, who were sleeping in the chairs next to each other, and very quickly explained what he just heard. After that, he went around the room and quietly told everyone else. Some of the younger ones immediately started crying from relief, and he couldn't blame them, because he did the exact same, so he just pulled them into a wordless hug until they calmed down. It definitely took more than a minute, and he felt a bit bad for keeping the young doctor awake, but when he took a quick look in her direction, she smiled at him, letting him know that he can take as long as he needs. This was definitely an unusual situation. 

But eventually, everyone was up to speed, and the atmosphere in the room relaxed a bit. There were even a few awkward laughs, but Toto wasn't there to hear them. He was walking a couple of steps behind the young doctor who was kind enough to update him over the last fifteen hours, and he tried to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to see. You were alive. That's all that mattered. 

It wouldn't be the first time he saw someone after the crash, hell - he was in one himself. Albeit not such a serious one... He was around the track long enough to know that even the nonlethal injuries weren't pretty, he saw what could happen to drivers who either weren't careful, skillful, or lucky enough. But you were definitely careful and skillful enough. But today, well... yesterday. You didn't have enough luck. A mechanical failure. Two of the things that had so many fail-safes, he wasn't sure he could count that high. But somehow all of them failed... He knew there would be an investigation, but that didn't matter. Because you were alive. 

So, when he finally saw you through the thick glass... He broke. He had to hold himself on the metal barrier in front of the window just not to fall over, and the young doctor put his arm under his, trying to assist him until he'd be able to stand straight. You looked so small connected to all the heavy machinery in the room. A thick tube down your throat, a bag of full blood connected to the IV port in your arm, all the cables coming from under the bandages on your chest... The draining tubes coming from under the bandages on your thighs... Your face was swollen, with bruises in multiple places, and your head was shaved and covered in bandages. He couldn't help but laugh at that one detail... You wanted to shave your head for ages but never found the right moment with all the press and photoshoots. 

And your hands... Somehow, they didn't fit the picture... They were pristine, not counting the IVs... No bruises, no bandages, no anything... Your long fingers looked exactly the same as they did this morning when you intertwined them with his, just as he was about to tell you he loves you.

- I'm sorry, it's just... - he started, but he couldn't finish, so he just rested his forehead on the cold glass in front of him, trying so hard not to let tears into his eyes.

- It can be a lot, seeing a loved one like this... I understand... 

- She's alive... - he failed. He tried to convince himself that it was enough, but seeing you like that... So small, so... weak. It hit him. He wouldn't be able to live without seeing you wildly dance on the roof of one of the many hotels you stayed in during the racing season... Without hearing your broken singing from under the shower in the morning... Without your contagious laughter at something stupid, he said... He needed you more than he needed to breathe, and it scared him. 

He wiped the tears with the back of his hand, straighten his posture, and did his best to compose himself. Not for himself, but for the people who were about to see you like that. You lived... and for now that had to be enough. 

He didn't leave your room since he was allowed to enter it for the first time... Sitting at your bed, holding your hand, putting on the music he knew you'd like, reading aloud... And with every passing day, you started looking... stronger. The color started returning to your skin, and the bruising and swelling on your face slowly started healing. The drivers kept visiting you, and when they had to leave to prepare for the next race - they kept sending you gifts. 

Lewis stayed the longest after he finally got well enough to leave his room... He spent the entire day at your side, holding your hand, apologizing profusely, and praying... And after he didn't have any more tears left in him, he started telling you stories he knew you'd love. He was also the one to bring that perfume you bought in Egypt and which you absolutely adored; he put a drop of it behind your ears and on your wrists and left the bottle on the nightstand. 

George was the one to take it the hardest... Even though he tried his best not to show it when he was visiting, Toto knew. He knew how close the two of you were, and all the crazy adventures you shared. You were like siblings on crack and the things you could get into when let out of the bullpen... He honestly couldn't believe that you haven't been arrested yet for some of the stuff you pulled... That's why the last time he visited before leaving the UK, Toto suggested talking to a therapist and George agreed.

It took more than the few days Alex mentioned after the surgery, but the decision to wake you up was finally made a bit over two weeks after the crash. And he felt like a babe in the woods the whole morning; happy that the medication will be out of your system, but afraid of what would happen if you didn't wake up.

Alex was the one who sat with the both of you in the room, watching your vitals like a hawk, and as soon as she saw any change, she explained to Toto what exactly it meant. Around noon, she made the decision to stop intubating you, because it looked like your brain took over that function. She of course was ready with a new tube, just in case, but it ended up not being necessary; even though one of your lungs wasn't fully healed, enough oxygen was getting to your brain. 

Around noon he started to get antsy, but Alex quickly calmed him down and explained again that it might take even a few days because there is no way to tell how your brain would react. It didn't help much, but having someone to answer his every question was a godsend because he wasn't able to think about worst-case scenarios when there was a professional who said otherwise. 

He wasn't able to eat, but he didn't care... He didn't want to miss the moment when you woke up. But the day ended and nothing changed. In the evening one of the other residents took over for Alex, but Toto still didn't move and didn't let go of your hand. Not even when he rested his head on the bed next to your legs for just a moment. But the moment became a bit longer when he closed his eyes...

A familiar sensation woke him up... Long, cold fingers running through his hair, and he couldn't help but smile, at first - not realizing what it meant. But then it hit him. His eyes shot open, and he immediately sat up. 

Your beautiful eyes were open and full of tears, while your hand found his, and squeezed it tightly. 

- You're awake... - he whispered the obvious... - She's awake! Get a doctor here! - he shouted when he realized you two were alone in the room.

You tried to say something, but the words stuck in your throat due to pain.

- Shhh... Don't say anything just yet... You were intubated and the doctors said it might take some time for it to heal... - he said, without even noticing he started crying, but you decided to ignore him; your determination was much stronger than a little bit of pain. Well, ok... More than a little bit. 

- I... - you started, but the rest of the sentence didn't want to come out...

- I love you... And I know you love me too... I have known it for a while now. You never had to say it... I knew... - he said, brought your hand to his lips, and started pressing soft kisses to the back of it. You extended your finger to wipe one of the tears from his cheek, and his other hand quickly followed, wiping the rest. You looked around the room and noticed all the flowers, the teddy bears, the toys... There was even a... Tamagotchi...? And a brand-new Nintendo Switch...? 

You looked back at Toto with a question painted on your face. 

- The other drivers brought most of this stuff... They still keep sending things even though... - you nudged your head forward, urging him to continue. - Even though they had to leave for the next race. The accident was over two weeks ago, I'll explain everything later, I promise... But now the doctors will have to run some tests, ok...? - you nodded in response and shifted your gaze to the doctors that came into the room just a moment ago. They started simple, asking you to follow the light with your eyes and look in certain directions. And you did whatever they asked, not letting go of Toto's hand. 

You were scared and in pain... But somehow you knew everything will be all right, because despite everything - you weren't alone. And that was certain. 

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

#my writing #Toto Wolff fanfiction #Toto Wolff x reader #🖤

[sycamorelibrary754]

When You Wish Upon a Star

Summary: You and Bucky Barnes have grown close, bonding over sarcasm and shared trauma. You make it your mission to help Bucky experience all the joys of life that Hydra took from him. A little Disney magic is the perfect place to start.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader (platonic)

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: A few curse words and references to past trauma.

A/N: Who wouldn’t want to go to Disneyland with Bucky?

It was always the same. Your eyes shot open as the sensation of falling washed over you. Slowly, you rolled over and lifted your head to check the clock. 3:12 am. Fucking perfect. After a couple of deep breaths, you lifted your tired body off your bed. You throw on your favorite sweatshirt before opening your door and shuffling down the hall. 

It was dark, but you knew the way by heart. A frequent late-night visitor to the compound halls thanks to your PTSD. Your nightmares came in bunches, and when they did you needed a distraction when you woke up to keep yourself from spiraling down completely. You reach the kitchen and are just about to open the fridge when you see the outline of James Buchanan Barnes sitting on the sofa in the dark. 

“Bucky? What are you doing out here?”

“Moonlighting as a vampire”, he grumbled.

“You know, I usually just take your hundred-and-eight-year-old sarcasm at face value, but it’s late and I’m genuinely curious”, you said, as you sit across from him on the sofa. One leg tucked up under your body and your arms crossed over your chest to keep yourself warm. 

Bucky looks over at you stone-faced, but you can tell he’s trying to read you, searching for an ulterior motive. The gears are turning endlessly inside his head. After about five seconds of silence, you decide to return the favor. There are dark circles under his eyes and his disheveled hair is standing on end. You can tell has been up much longer than you. 

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, sorry. I thought we were having a staring contest”, you said lightheartedly to cover up your attempt at reading him. You can’t help but notice the small smile that pulls at the corners of his mouth, disappearing as quickly as it came. 

“Do you ever feel like you don’t matter? Like, despite it all, you’ll never be free of the pain?”

“All the time”, you stated without hesitation.

He turns to you with a furrowed brow and a look of surprise.

“What?”

“Nothing, sorry. It’s just, in the past when I’ve said that to people they usually give me a bunch of hollow platitudes,” Bucky said.

“Well, that’s not me.”

“Me either.”

That was the first time you and Bucky had a bonding moment. Moving forward there were many more late-night talks and quietly waiting up for each other. A movie always queued up to help pull each other back into the present moment after a mission. You could be alone together in a way that you couldn’t be with anyone else. It stumped the rest of the team, to say the least. Two people who would rather silently take in the world around them than be forced to speak had become best friends.

*^_^*

You wiped the perspiration off your forehead, sitting against the wall in the gym after a joint training session. Bucky insisted on helping you improve your hand-to-hand combat skills. He noticed you had gotten a bit complacent in relying solely on your powers. After you arrived home from your last mission with a black eye, Bucky was adamant about training you himself. 

Taking a sip of water, you turn to Bucky, “Have you ever been to Disneyland?”

“You ask the most random questions, and no. I remember some of the original Disney cartoons, though. Steamboat Willie, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Before we started moving around to different army bases, my parents would give me a dollar and I would walk to the movie theater in Shelbyville, Indiana. They would joke, “Don’t spend it all in one place, James”, he said with a smile that slowly faded. “After my parents died, I stopped going to the movies. And… the Winter Soldier never had a vacation.” 

It was only in the last few months you started to notice Bucky differentiating himself from the Winter Soldier. You assumed it was thanks to Dr. Raynor and his pardon-mandated therapy, but he would never admit it was you who was helping him see that the Winter Soldier and James Bucky Barnes were not one and the same.

“Well, something to add to your list then. Come on, dinner is probably ready,” patting his thigh. You mentally file away what Bucky shared for later. There was a whole new life for him to live now, and you were determined to help him do it. 

A couple weeks later you and Bucky are infiltrating an old Hydra base off the grid. A simple in and out to retrieve a backlog of digital files, and you were back on the Quinjet within a couple of hours. You offered to pilot the jet home while Bucky took a nap. He awoke a few hours later to you poking him repeatedly on the shoulder with a dorky grin on your face. 

“What?” Bucky groaned, wiping his hands over his face. “Are we home?”

“No, we’re making an unscheduled stop,” you said, as the super soldier sits up. 

“Where the hell are we?” Bucky walked to the window surprised to find no landing pad, no buildings, no New York. 

“Surprise, Buck! We’re going to Disneyland,” you declared. “I cleared it with Fury. We have tomorrow off, and I already sent the files we retrieved to Maria with a written debrief. We’re officially off the clock for the next 36 hours.” 

“No, Y/N. I’m too old for this. What if someone recognizes us?”

“First of all, you’re too old for everything, but that doesn’t matter in the Happiest Place on Earth. Second of all, I’ve got that covered,” pulling a change of clothes for him out of your bag.

You both change and are about to depart the jet when you remember one more preventative measure. You grab both your suits and fiddle with them for a second before removing two of Tony’s trackers. 

“This trip will be our little secret”, you wink.

You departed the jet and activated stealth mode at the top end of the Mickey and Friends parking structure, away from prying eyes. After a short ride on the tram and walk through security you’re standing at the top of Main Street USA. You look down at Cinderella’s castle as the sights, sounds, and smells of Disneyland envelop your senses.

“Okay, so I thought we could hit Adventureland first. Jungle Cruise, Indiana Jones, just to get your feet wet. Then we’ll do Frontierland and New Orleans Square. Wait until you see Pirates of the Caribbean! Oh, and Fantasyland has the Matterhorn, I have a feeling you’ll love that ride. Then maybe we could grab dinner at the Jolly Holiday cafe and watch the fireworks. That will leave us with Tomorrowland tomorrow, no pun intended. Finally, I thought for shits and giggles we could check out the Avengers campus in California Adventure Land before we leave.” you rambled happily. You finally look up from your park map to see Bucky eyeing you like you are speaking another language. 

“Sounds great, but how are we paying for this? I doubt it’s on Shield’s payroll.”

“Ask and you shall receive”, you said with a devilish smirk, as you pulled Tony’s Black Master Card from your pocket.

“Where the hell did you get that?”

“Tony’s wallet. You’re not the only superhero here remember? Plus, Nat has taught me a thing or two about pickpocketing over the years,” you grinned. “Come on James, we’re going to spend it all in one place this time,” linking arms with the super soldier who simply rolled his eyes.

The next day and a half was a whirlwind of Disney magic. You went on every ride you possibly could. (You may or may not have hacked into the fast pass system to make your wait times in line as short as possible). Bucky made you go on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad twice and didn’t judge you for screaming in a way that would be considered very un-heroic by your teammates. You bought him personalized Mickey ears with his name embroidered on the back, and it only took ten minutes of arguing to convince him to wear them in a picture with Mickey. Meanwhile, Bucky took every opportunity he could to capture your Disneyland experience. Discreetly snapping a candid photo or filming as you happily sang along to the music on every ride.

After a good night’s sleep in the jet, the two of you made your way over to the Avengers campus in California Adventure Land. “Well, they got the aesthetics right,” you remarked. Taking in the scenery and park guests clad in Avengers merchandise.

You took a selfie in front of the Avengers campus sign that you immediately made your new lockscreen. It took a couple minutes, but Bucky found a spot for both of you in front of the compound to watch The Amazing Spider-Man! Peter welcomed the guests and conducted various flight tests in his new suit. There were flips, jumps, and web slingers galore. Each move executed smoothly, until he tripped over a few boxes and landed flat on his face. 

“Yeah, that’s about right”, Bucky joked as you nod in agreement. 

The campus is full of cast members dressed as all of your teammates interacting with park guests, Dr. Strange illustrating the mysteries of the Mystic Arts, and the Warriors of Wakanda demonstrating disciplines of the Dora Milaje. After exploring a bit, you decided to take a seat outside of Shawarma Palace to rest your feet. You both removed your hats and are scrolling through your phones when a curly-haired little boy wearing glasses and an Iron Man t-shirt quietly approached your table. 

“Hi”, he whispered shyly.

“Hi, what’s your name?” you smiled. You put your phone down and place your hand on top of Bucky’s hand. The gears turning in his head like the night you found him on the sofa in the dark.

“James”, he answered, swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet. You looked over at Bucky as he visibly relaxed and smiled. 

“Are you Bucky Barnes and Y/F/N Y/L/N?” he asked. Pushing his little glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

“Why do you think that?” trying to hide your grin.

“I have a poster of the Avengers in my bedroom! You look just like them, and umm, we learned about you at school. Oh, and I had an Iron Man cake for my last birthday. I got a helmet and everything!”

“That’s amazing, James! Iron Man is my favorite Avenger too.”

“Hey?!” Bucky said.

“Okay, original Avenger.”

You look over at Bucky eagerly. He seems to read your mind and nodded in agreement.

“We’ll let you in on a little secret, but you have to promise not to tell anyone,” you whispered as you motion for James to come closer. You hold out your hand and focus as small blue sparks dance around your palm. 

“Woah!!” James yelled.

“Shhhh,” you giggled. 

Bucky looks around carefully before taking off his glove and rolling up his sleeve to reveal his Vibranium arm. 

“That’s so cool,” James said mesmerized.

“We’re here on confidential Avenger business and we must keep our cover. Can you help us keep our identities secret?” Bucky asked as he rolls his sleeve back down and put back on his glove.

“Yeah!” your new friend exclaimed proudly. 

“Thank you, James. You will make a great Avenger someday,” Bucky said.

He gave the small boy a fist bump, and you do the same. James walked away proudly, and you can’t help but look over at Bucky. Your eyes shining with unshed tears.

“That’s why you matter.”

For the first time in your friendship, you think he believes it. 

The sun begins to set as you both stroll out of California Adventure Land. Bucky is about to suggest walking across the street to wait for the tram when he sees you running back toward the Disneyland entrance.

“What are you doing? We need to get going. I’m sure everyone is already freaking out that our trackers are offline” Bucky shouted.

“There’s one more thing we have to do. Come on!” you yelled, motioning for him to follow you. You lead your best friend back down Main Street USA before stopping in front of the cinema. You waited for him to catch up to you and pointed up at the marquee.

Main Street Cinema Presents: 

Steamboat Willie 

Plus six great original Disney cartoons.

I thought you might like a little walk down memory lane before the clock strikes midnight and we turn back into pumpkins.”

Bucky stared at the marquee for a few seconds before looking back at you. Before you can ask him what he thinks, he embraced you in a hug. You walked inside and strolled from screen to screen. Taking in the nostalgia of the classic black-and-white Disney cartoons. You reached the last screen just as Mickey began to whistle the theme to Steam Boat Willie. You glanced over at Bucky and noticed his eyes shining with unshed tears this time. You rub gentle circles on his back until the credits roll. 

“Thank you, Y/N”, he sighed, wiping his eyes. That meant a lot to me. This trip meant a lot to me. I never thought I’d say this, but I loved it.”

“You’re my best friend, Buck. You deserve to experience all of the beautiful moments in life. It’s never too late. Hell, everyone should have a first trip to Disneyland. I’m just glad I got to do it with you”, putting your arms around him. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Back on the jet, Bucky offered to pilot so you can get some sleep. Fortunately, the night air is calm and clear, so after about an hour he put the jet on autopilot and sat down next to you. The super soldier gently covered you with a blanket before pulling out his phone. He can’t help but laugh at the sight of the two of you sharing a giant Dole Whip or screaming as the train dipped and dove on Thunder Mountain. For the first time in forever, Bucky sees himself smiling and almost doesn’t recognize himself.

You finally stirred when the wheels touched down on the compound landing pad. Bucky had yet to notice you’re awake. Preoccupied with shutting down the jet and grabbing both your bags. You lay there silently as your eyes followed him. You smiled to yourself as you heard him softly whistling “When You Wish Upon a Star”.

Mission accomplished.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #mcu #the avengers #fluff #disneyland #super soldier #super powers #vibranium #white wolf #james buchanan barnes

[ellecdc]

Mother, serious question mainly for my own self-esteem 😮‍💨😅

How do you think the boys (any of them really) would view a partner with like all sorts of facial piercings and like rat tails in their hair and funky colors(truly best describes as a queer little gremlin lol). Cause I know Marlene and Sirius have an alt rock aesthetic (I don't think I spelled that right) but as much as I love these characters I never feel like I would have fit in with them if I was really there ya know?

Idk it's kinda stupid but just curious on you're thoughts on this. They're just so cool and I would hope they would like me enough to at least be my friend if they were real 😮‍💨😖

okay first of all, love the title queer little gremlin; let's all capitalize those letters and add them to surveys when they ask you how you identify plsss??

Here's my take:

James:

I love (and follow religiously) the headcanon that James is pansexual but I believe that expands beyond just gender identity, if that makes sense?

It doesn't matter if you're male or female or anywhere in between or beyond or both or all

and I feel like it doesn't really matter what you look like to him

I feel like he loves people for their hearts, their minds, their interests, etc

I feel like he'd maybe be worried because....those had to hurt??? you do that on purpose? doesn't it hurt terribly? his poor sweet angel????

I also see him as the type of bf who would be like "oh! are we changing colours? which one's? can I help?" and will dutifully like, adorn gloves and sit in the bathroom breathing in dye fumes and chatting away with you while the two of you talk about everything and nothing - I think he'd love spending that time with you and it would be special bonding time

(also, have you seen the James fan art with him with a nose ring??? fuck me sideways)

Sirius:

you're so right re: alt-rock aesthetic etc

I think he'd find the facial piercings awesome tbh, you might even have inspired him to get one or more of his own

I think he'd make it almost a competition of who can dress the most grunge that day hahaha - but the two of you would make quite the couple

also? you look like the kind of person his posh, prissy, stuck up parents would hate seeing him with - that's totally a bonus

I see this guy as someone who loves hair care and would be horrified at how much/often you change your hair colour and would insist on helping you/buying the more expensive products/ensure you're doing it right to save your hair from too much damage

that's the only 'problem' I see him having

Remus:

idk, I kind of see him a little bit like James tbh; looks would be a little less important to him? like he doesn't care how you express yourself in terms of style and clothes

what would be important to him is that you're kind and patient, that you're openminded and considerate of others

I mean...he's littered with scars, is he not? He doesn't exactly look "normal" (derogatory) and would probably feel very similar to what you've described; like he doesn't feel he particularly 'fits in' with his friends

I see him having like, not long hair but like a decent head of curls, and he'd totally love if you braided a few little pieces of his hair like your 'rat tails'

I think he'd find the hair fun; you'd show up one day with new colours and I could see his face lighting up like 😃 "that looks great love; so fun"

Regulus:

he's tricky because he's so posh and stuck up lmfao

BUT

people also ship bartylus and I see so much Barty fan-art somewhat similar to how you've described yourself and if Reg likes Barty - he'd certainly like you too

Barty:

as mentioned above, I could totally see him having like a green streak in his hair or something

perhaps some piercings (I think he'd get piercings down below.....), tongue piercing, nose piercing, eyebrow piercing - I feel like he'd be down for it all himself, so he wouldn't mind it on you at all either

and again, as a guy with daddy issues, he'd be a lot like Sirius and think the better chance he has at dating someone who would sooooo piss of his dad - the better!

thanks for your ask babes <3

#ask elle #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #regulus black #barty crouch jr #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #james potter x reader #james potter x you #regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #barty crouch jr x reader #barty crouch jr x you #ellecdc fics

[the-iceni-bitch]

He Gives Me Everything and Tenderly…

Pairing: detective!bottom Bucky Barnes x younger!top male reader (Sarge and Officer Beefcake, NLLYL AU)

Words: ~5k

Summary; Bucky is just fine on his own. He really is. He’s used to it. Even after meeting you and thinking about you a whole bunch, he’s still fine. And he does not appreciate his friends’ meddling.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (mentions of male masturbation, salad tossing, protected anal sex, spit as lube and lube as lube, kinda public sex), meet cute, reverse age gap, tall/beefy male reader, bottom!Bucky Barnes, Bucky is grumpy, hints of angst, love at first sight? lots of friendly teasing, m/m relationship, SMUT!! 18+ ONLY!!

A/N: Welp, this was something I wrote entirely in one sitting and I can’t say I’m mad about it at all. This is my first ever male reader fic and I am both incredibly nervous and very excited to share it with all of you! Big ass thanks to the absolutely amazing @howdoyousleep3 for hyping me up and providing some much appreciated perspectives (remember lube, people!)

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

Bucky was exhausted. A long ass shift at the end of a long ass week and he was done, looking forward to going home and drinking a cold beer on his couch while he didn’t talk to anyone for a whole 48 hours. God, he hated people.

Except Darcy, and the cute little peach. Even though he wanted to get the fuck out of there he still stopped by the dispatch desk to chat with his girls and let them cheer him up a little.

“Hey Sarge!” He shook his head when Darcy called him that, her stubborn insistence to call him by his military rank after however many years just one of the many things that endeared her to him. “You look like shit, you finally getting out of here? Maybe gonna see someone special tomorrow?”

“The only people he’ll be seeing are Sam Adams and Johnnie Walker, maybe James Bond… hey!” The peach gave him an adorable scowl when he threw a paper clip at her, rubbing her cheek where it had hit her and sticking her tongue out at him before turning her attention back to her screen. “Don’t act like I’m not right, I’m there every time you drunk dial Nat while you’re binge watching old movies and lamenting your lack of a love life.”

“Tell your girlfriend to quit putting me on speaker or I’m gonna call her ex to chat from now on.” Bucky grinned when she rolled her eyes at him, bringing his attention back to Darcy and sighing when she was giving him a sympathetic pout. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine. I like being alone.”

“You’re lying, but fine.” Darcy shrugged at him, grinning when there was a sudden commotion at the doors and a mess of recruits came charging through into the hallway after Sam. “Hi Sammy, boys! Ooh, hey there beefcake, you run laps around all those slugs on the course again?”

“Maybe.”

Bucky choked when you were standing next to him, trying not to ogle you swathed in those gray sweats and feeling like the world’s dirtiest old man all of a sudden. “They’re getting better, starting to catch up. You shouldn’t call them slugs, Darce.”

“Please, like Wilson hasn’t called them worse, you’re too nice.” Peachy girl grinned when she turned in her chair again and saw Bucky looking like his jaw was about to hit the floor. “Have you met Detective Barnes, beefy?”

“Haven’t had the pleasure.” Bucky took in your name with an almost hysterical laugh when you reached out and shook his hand, not entirely sure what had come over him as he felt his neck getting unbearably hot and struggled to come up with something to say. “Well, I’ve gotta hit the showers, always lovely talking to you ladies.”

“Bye!” Both of them were grinning wickedly at Bucky once you were gone, chuckling when he just spluttered nonsense and looked at the floor. “What the fuck was that, Bucky?”

“Shut up.” He was flabbergasted, he’d never felt such an unbelievable attraction to someone right off the bat, except, once. But he never thought about that. “It wasn’t anything.”

“Oh, nothing at all?” Darcy was still grinning when Bucky growled at her, shaking her head and leaning back in her chair while the peach kept laughing. “So you weren’t staring at his ass when he walked away?”

“Of course not.” It had only been a little bit, you were so fucking tall your ass was impossible to miss, and so high and tight and… no, nope. “What the hell kind of nickname is beefcake, anyway?”

“You saw him.” Peach was practically cackling at this point, the redness on Bucky’s face so entertaining she was considering taking a photo to send to Nat. “The man is grade A USDA prime meat, what would you like us to call him?”

“You’re a couple of pervs.” Bucky just scoffed and ignored them when they told him it takes one to know one, flipping them off over his shoulder and almost forgetting his bag when he stormed out of the precinct to start his much needed alone time. “Inappropriate, gonna talk to HR about you two!”

If it had just been the one interaction, Bucky probably could’ve handled it. Yeah, he had jerked himself off thinking about your broad shoulders and tiny waist and that masterpiece of an ass, but only once, okay three times. But it was just over the weekend, he’d forget about you eventually.

Except for the fact that suddenly he was seeing you everywhere. Every damn time he was in the precinct, there you were, smiling that slightly crooked smile and laughing and making every person light up when you walked through the room. And in the fucking sweats every time, it was like torture. Torture that was made worse by the fact that Darcy and peach were always grinning at him like they knew something he didn’t, and they had apparently told Sam whatever they supposedly knew, so now that man was basically parading you in front of Bucky’s desk every chance he got and making him talk to you and get to see how fucking charming you were. He hated it.

“I do, I love cats!” Sam was chatting with you right in front of Bucky’s desk again and he was plotting how he could get away with murdering the man. “Have a little ginger idiot at home who has maybe two braincells, but he’s my baby.”

“Wow, that’s adorable.” Bucky almost growled at Sam when he grinned at him. “Bucky has a kitty of his own, don’t you, Buck?”

“Yes.” Sometimes he even hated his friends, this was ridiculous.

“I love that, knew you were a cat person.” Bucky almost groaned when you placed your hand on the desk so close to his, looking up at you through his lashes and trying so hard not to melt into his chair when he saw you smiling at him. “What’s her name?”

“Alpine.” You smelled so unbelievably good, Bucky had an incredible urge to lean up and bury his face in your neck, but managed to just turn the photo of his cat around to show you instead. “She’s three.”

“She’s gorgeous.” You winked and Bucky almost swooned, there was something wrong with him. “Shit, I’ve gotta get out of here, got a birthday party to get to. It’s always real nice talking to you, Detective.”

“You too.” Bucky swallowed thickly and shook his head when you walked away, his scowl coming back immediately when he saw Sam looking like he just ate a damn canary as he smirked at him. “Shut up.”

“Didn’t say anything.” Sam chuckled when Bucky just hunched over his paperwork and tried to ignore him. “Buuuuut… hoo boy, you like him.”

“I do not.” Murder was the only answer to these affronts. “He’s too young.”

“Bullshit, is peach too young for Nat?” Sam snorted when Bucky just grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes at the man’s stubbornness. “You like like him, you need to get over that massive hang up, Barnes, it’s holding you back!”

“Man, fuck you!” Bucky jumped when he realized that Sam wasn’t there anymore, so he was just yelling at the bullpen, every member of the team giving him looks of varying amusement before they bent back to their work. “Sorry.”

It was a legitimate hang up, especially when it came to you. Because you reminded Bucky of him.

Specifically of when he was young, when Bucky first realized he was in love and overlooked all of his flaws and just wanted to be wrapped up in him all the time in spite of the fact the man would only look at Bucky like his old friend who he could tell about every single disgusting conquest he made. And that meant you were dangerous. Bucky refused to do that to himself again, it had taken him too long to get over that malicious bastard, and nothing had hurt him more than the realization that he had wasted so much time loving someone who barely gave a fuck about him. He didn’t care how sincere and charming you seemed, he wasn’t going to fall for that same shit all over again.

But it didn’t stop any of his friends from dragging you in front of him at every opportunity, and even though he was polite and listened to you and answered all your questions, it didn’t stop him from snarling at them as soon as you were gone. He didn’t care what they thought he needed, he was fine.

He wasn’t lonely. He didn’t wake up grinding his hips into his mattress after dreaming of sharing his bed with you. He didn’t wonder what you would look like with soft morning light falling across your face while both of your cats jumped on you and Bucky made you breakfast. They all needed to worry about their own lives and quit fucking with his.

Which is why he should have been suspicious as hell when Nat and her little peach and Darcy insisted on taking him out for drinks on a Friday night. All of them together. At a dive bar that was typically just cops. Like they didn’t usually go uptown and dress up.

“Well, look at that, is that Sam?” Darcy bounced on her toes and waved when she spotted Sam with all of his recruits, her and peach squealing while Bucky shot Nat an exhausted look. “Gosh, I completely forgot they’re celebrating the academy graduation, what are the chances?”

“Shocking.” Bucky couldn’t stop growling when Nat just shrugged at him. “I can’t believe they dragged you into their scheming, Romanoff.”

“They’re young and excited, it’s cute.” Nat wrapped her arm around Bucky’s shoulders and started pulling him towards the group. “Besides, you deserve someone nice, and to spend the night with someone besides Alpine.”

“Alpine doesn’t take up that much room on the bed, and I like to spread out.” Bucky just resigned himself to having a miserable night, even when you gave him an easy smile once you laid eyes on him and waved eagerly. “And he might not be nice.”

“Buck, you won’t know unless you give him a chance.” Nat sighed as she rested her chin on her best friend’s shoulder, pinching his cheek and trying to get him to at least give her a grudging smile. “And you know how good my asshole radar is, I’m getting no pings from the beefcake.”

“Yeah, alright.” Bucky steeled himself when you started walking his way, feeling a little tight in his chest and watery in his eyes as he did his best to give you a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi Detective.” Your smile got even wider when Nat introduced herself, shaking her hand warmly then turning back to Bucky and crossing your arms over your massive chest. “Can I get you a beer?”

“I don’t…” Bucky caught himself when Nat looked at him expectantly and blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, a beer would be great.”

“Fantastic, for you too?” You winked at Nat when she nodded before hurrying off to get their drinks with an undeniable bounce in your step that Bucky found he enjoyed very much.

“Listen, Buck.” Nat gave you a very thorough look while you waited at the bar, wrapping her arms around her girl when she came to sit on her lap and Darcy sat across from them. “Even if it doesn’t last, you’re a special kind of idiot if you don’t at least have sex with that man.”

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky felt himself blush up to his ears when all of the women just nodded enthusiastically and started detailing what the two of you should do to each other. “You three are worse than frat boys, oh my god.”

“C’mon, sarge…” Darcy snapped her mouth shut when you came back with Bucky’s and Nat’s drinks, giving Bucky a meaningful look and making a little circle with her thumb and forefinger then pushing her opposite finger through it while your back was turned until Bucky felt like he was in fucking high school. “Hi beefcake!”

“Hi Darce!” You were sitting so close to Bucky he could smell you again, he had to start chugging his beer so he didn’t reach out to bury his fingers in your hair. “I’ve always wanted to ask, why does she call you ‘sarge’?”

“Oh, it was my rank when I was discharged.” Bucky couldn’t handle the way you were looking at him, like he was the most interesting thing in the room, he wanted to fall into your eyes and get lost. “From the army. Darcy’s sister served with me, so she knew me then and the nickname stuck.”

“I didn’t know you served, my dad was in the marines.” You could see Bucky starting to tense up and bless you, you backed off, keeping that easy smile on your face while you nudged his foot with yours. “It’s okay, that’s not something we have to talk about right now, tell me about Alpine, how’s the little lady doing?”

“She’s- she’s good.” Something about the way you instantly pivoted the conversation and didn’t make Bucky feel like an ass for almost clamming up had him relaxing pretty much instantly, grinning back at you and rolling his eyes a little playfully when he thought about his little furry troublemaker. “She’s a brat, but good. Almost gave me a heart attack last week when she somehow managed to climb up to the ceiling beams in my apartment.”

“Oh shit! Really?” You chuckled warmly when Bucky just nodded and took another sip of his beer, plucking at the edge of the label on your bottle and leaning forward a little so you could hear him better. “She get down on her own or did you have to get a ladder?”

“Well, after six hours of pleading and begging, I did finally manage to entice her with some tuna.” Bucky kept watching your face closely, the earnestness he was so wary of constant and never wavering while you listened to everything he said intently. “She’s too smart for her own good, I swear.”

“Fuck, I can’t decide if my situation is better or worse.” You laughed when Bucky scoffed, pushing at his shoulder and shaking your head when he looked at you with mock offense. “No, I love my boy, but he’s a dumbass of epic proportions. The most worrisome thing he’s ever done is get his whole head stuck in a mason jar. Theodore is an idiot.”

“Theodore?” Bucky was vaguely aware of movement next to him after he emptied his beer and set down the bottle, but he couldn’t stop watching your lips move. “That’s adorable.”

“Aw, yeah, my niece named him.” Your smile got even wider somehow and it was making Bucky melt, another bottle of beer appearing seemingly out of nowhere on the table and immediately finding its way to his lips. “It’s her favorite chipmunk.”

Cats. Talking about your fucking cats was apparently the kick in the ass Bucky needed to let almost all his concerns about having anything with you go, letting himself relax and be easy while you told him all these sweet, endearing little things about yourself. How much you loved your niece and how much of a star she was at figure skating. How good you were at baking and you didn’t care what he said, you were baking him a loaf of sourdough to prove it. How you played three different instruments and spoke two languages. You were too goddamn interesting.

And you managed to get him to talk about himself too. How close he was with his sister and mother and how much he loved seeing them as often as possible. How he secretly enjoyed knitting and always made sweaters for the family at Hanukkah but would kill you if you told anyone about his hobby. How he collected old records and could spend whole days just listening to music and drinking good whiskey.

Bucky was more than a little thrilled that you seemed to be hanging on his every word and scooting closer to him until you were right next to him and your shoulders were practically touching.

He had lost track of how many beers he’d consumed by the time people started dancing, but he knew it wasn’t too many as he was just very pleasantly buzzed and staring at your plump, kissable, pillowy lips and wondering what it would be like to suck on them.

“Hey, James.” Bucky had just told you his first name and for some reason the fact that was what you were choosing to call him was making him dizzy. “You wanna dance with me?”

“Oh, um…” Bucky chewed on his lip while he thought it over, he had two left feet when he was sober, and he also wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself if you put your hands on him. “I don’t know…”

“Hey, no pressure.” You winked like you did every time you said something disarming and Bucky decided that he loved that about you. “Just wanted to ask, but if all you want is to talk, that’s a-okay.”

Bucky was struggling with himself. You barely seemed disappointed, it had maybe flashed across your face for a second, but he believed you when you said it was okay. You even leaned back against your chair to give him space, zero hints of malice in your expression and just that perfect, easygoing look that made Bucky feel like you were fine taking no for an answer and you would never hold it against anybody.

And for some reason, that finally sealed it for Bucky that you weren’t him.

“I wanna dance.” Bucky winced when he almost knocked over his bottle when he set it down, grabbing your hand and pulling you to your feet so he could drag you towards the makeshift dance floor. “Let’s go.”

Your laugh made Bucky beam at you over his shoulder, humming along to the music and turning to face you once you were in the middle of it. His breath caught when you were right there, letting you frame his waist with your hands and pull him even closer while you started rolling your hips to the music. Bucky very quickly decided that he liked having your hands on him, shaking his head and gripping your wrists to keep you in place when you tried to lean back before he slid his palms up your arms and over your chest.

Somehow, even though he knew you were big, your massive size hadn’t fully registered in Bucky’s brain until he was in such close proximity to you. It’s not like Bucky was small by any means, he hit the weights, he never skipped arm day, he’d even been called beefy himself a few times. But you… goddamn. You were like nothing Bucky had ever seen before. He was starting to get woozy from it.

Then you ducked even closer and pressed your cheek against Bucky’s temple and he couldn’t help it, he gasped. He could feel your lips moving against his skin but he couldn’t hear anything you were saying, a low buzzing filling his ears while his fingers dug into your firm chest and he rolled his hips against yours. This was dangerous, he was not going to have sex with you without even a proper date, he wasn’t that easy.

He kept repeating it in his head over and over. When you slipped your arms around his waist and squeezed as you kept guiding his movements. When he buried his face in your neck and groaned when he finally got to breathe in your scent fully. When you nipped at the shell of his ear and made some kind of noise that sent a vibration through Bucky’s whole body. And especially when you grabbed his ass and gave such a dirty grind of your hips that made him feel how fucking hard and massive you really were.

It didn’t matter how much he repeated it though, it only took three songs before Bucky found himself with his back against a stall door in the bathroom with his pants around just one of his ankles and his toes barely brushing the floor while he practically sat on your face.

One of his knees was flung over your shoulder while you licked at his hole, his whole body shivering when you hummed against his skin and dug your fingers into his thighs and he didn’t even care that he was getting eaten out in a public bathroom and enjoying it quite loudly.

“God, I knew you’d be fucking sweet.” You growled but barely pulled back, gripping the thigh that was on your shoulder and pushing it up until it was pressed to Bucky’s side so you could see his face. “You taste so goddamn good, James, once I get you in bed I’m gonna make a full meal out of this ass, shit.”

“Oh… Jesus Christ.” Bucky could barely breathe when your mouth was on his hole again, he could feel your jaw working while you moved your lips and tongue like you were making out with him, all while you kept your intense eye contact and let his cock rest on your face like you didn’t even care. “Oh my fucking god.”

Bucky could feel your chuckle when a whine escaped from his throat without his permission, his eyes rolling when your tongue fluttered all around his twitching skin before you were dragging it over his hole again and sucking until Bucky almost squealed. But then your tongue punched into him and the squeal was ripped out of his chest, his breath heaving almost painfully while you fucked him with the thick muscle until his dick started leaking and twitching against your forehead. It was insane that you were so good at this, you were so young, but your mouth worked like you were a fucking pornstar and it had Bucky feeling some kind of way.

“You’re gonna let me fuck you, James.” It didn’t sound like a question, you were telling him, your face serious while you licked your way up his taint until you could nip at his balls while you slid a finger inside him. “I need it, need to feel you come on my cock, god, you’d better fucking hold it until I’m inside you or I’m gonna spank you, I swear to fucking god.”

“Yeah… yeah, oh my god, please.” Bucky felt like he was losing his mind when you sucked on his balls and pushed a second finger inside him, his legs shaking and his eyes rolling back in his head while he grabbed your hair and held on for dear life. “Oh shit… fuck me, I can hold it, I’ll be good, just fuck me.”

You leaned your cheek against his hip and kept grinning at him while you reached your free hand into your wallet to grab a packet of lube, chuckling when Bucky huffed at you when you ripped it open with your teeth and squirted it all over the fingers you were plunging into his ass.

“You brought lube with you?” Bucky was trying to remain huffy but it was difficult when you were scissoring his hole open so slowly and shit, it felt amazing. “What exactly did you think was going to happen tonight?”

“God, I dunno, James.” You looked meaningfully at the fingers that were currently knuckle deep inside him, wiggling them a little when you looked back up at him with a cocked eyebrow and snorting when he whined. “Would you prefer I didn’t have lube right now? Because I can stop…”

“No, don’t do that.” So much for not trying to seem desperate, Bucky was panting he needed you so bad. “I’m just… talking, I’ll shut up. I can be good.”

“Yeah? You’re gonna be a good boy for me James?” What were you doing to him? Bucky couldn’t help but whimper when you spat on your fingers to slick them up even more and added a third, nodding and rolling his hips into your hand when you just barely teased his sweet spot as you kissed the inside of his thigh. “Yeah you will, my good boy, opening right up for me.”

“Mmhm, yours, oh holy shit.” The addition of your fourth finger turned Bucky’s whole body into jelly, your hold on his thigh the only thing keeping him from crumpling to the floor when you licked a wide, flat stripe up the underside of his cock. “Holy fucking shit, pleasepleaseplease…”

“Shhh, don’t you worry, James, I’ve got you.” You groaned when he let go of your hair to shove his fist in his mouth when he gave you a tortured cry, slowly pulling your fingers out of him and setting his feet on the floor so you could stand. “Turn around for me, sweet thing.”

“Yes… yes sir.” Bucky let his eyes flutter closed when you kissed his temple and turned him around, pressing his cheek against the cool metal and arching his back when you placed one hand on his hip and used the other to pull out a condom. “I need it.”

“I know, handsome.” Your voice was muffled while you used your teeth to rip the wrapper open, nuzzling into the tendrils of hair that were resting against the back of Bucky’s neck so you could kiss him there while you rolled the condom over your length and emptied another packet of lube all over your dick. “You gonna call me sir while I fuck this sweet little ass?”

“Ye-yes… oh fuck!” Bucky practically screamed when your tip just barely slipped inside him, arching his back and whining when you wrapped your arm across his throat and growled in his ear. “Fuck… ‘s big, so big, fuck me.”

“You can take it, big guy, keep being good for me.” You grinned against Bucky’s cheek when he rose on his toes as you kept going, smacking his ass and chuckling when it made him clench as you increased the pressure on his neck. “You feel fucking incredible, Jesus. Been thinking about getting you like this since the first time I saw you, you know that? Did you think about me too, James?”

“N-no.” Bucky already felt extremely vulnerable while he was split open on only half of your cock, he didn’t need to admit to you that he had been dreaming about wrapping his legs around your tiny little waist while you fucked him slow and deep. “I didn’t.”

“Pretty sure you’re a liar.” You grinned and yanked his head back at the same time you gave a final snap of your pelvis and Bucky sobbed, his body shaking violently while you rested your hips against the plush curve of his ass and dragged your tongue along his jaw while you let him adjust. “That’s okay though, big guy, you can think about this. Now, I’m gonna apologize, because this is gonna be a lot faster than I would like, but we are in public.”

Bucky didn’t have any response except a yelp when you started driving your cock into him almost viciously, his breath punched out of his lungs each time your hips bounced off his ass while you sucked on his ear. He felt like he was about to explode, your cock driving into his swollen prostate each time you bottomed out until his balls started pulling tight to his body and his cock twitched. You must have felt the change since you dropped the hand that wasn’t attached to the thick arm that was currently choking him to grab his cock and start stroking him in time with your thrusts.

“Fuckfuckfuck…” Bucky felt like such a whore but he didn’t care, turning his head as much as possible so he could rub his nose against your cheek while he whined. “I’m so close, don’t stop.”

“I’ll give you whatever you want, James.” You groaned when his hole clenched around you, squeezing his cock and his throat at the same time and kissing the corner of his lips tenderly while you gazed into his eyes. “Gonna take care of you. Can’t wait to be able to take my time, enjoy you, god, could spend a whole fucking night in this ass, you’re so goddamn warm and tight. But I need you to come for me right now, James, make a mess on my hand, lemme make you feel good, c’mon.”

The thought of you in his bed and fucking him raw and open had Bucky tumbling over the edge of his climax with a shout, his desperate noises muffled by your lips when you smashed them to his as he quaked in your arms and shot his cum all over your fingers. He sobbed when you didn’t stop stroking him even once he was milked dry, his eyes rolling back when you throbbed inside him and almost lamenting the fact that you were filling the condom instead of pumping your cum deep in his guts and determined to get to the point when he would finally get to feel all of you. As soon as you were done you were bringing your cum soaked fingers to your mouth, keeping eye contact with Bucky as you sucked his cum off them slowly and groaning at his taste then pressing your lips to his again so you could share with him.

“Jesus fuck.” Bucky couldn’t think of anything else to say, smiling almost sheepishly at you after you had pulled out of him and tossed the condom, letting you turn him around and nuzzle at his cheek before you were bending to help him step back into his jeans.

“My sentiments exactly.” You gave him another one of those winks and he wasn’t even mad when he blushed violently. “You gonna be as big of an ass about me taking you on a real date?”

“I wasn’t an ass.” Bucky huffed when you stood back up and wrapped your arms around him, nipping at your bottom lip and grinning when you growled playfully at him. “I was wary.”

“Sure.” You kissed him slow and deep and smiled against his lips when he melted into you before pulling back so he could breathe. “Pretty sure the girls and Sergeant Wilson would agree with my assessment, but we can use your word.”

“Oh shit, they’re still out there.” Bucky screwed his eyes shut and moaned at the thought of the commentary he was going to have to endure, shaking his head when you chuckled and opened the stall door to start pulling him back to the bar. “Can’t we just climb out the window or something?”

“Yeah, I don’t think either of us could fit through that window, James.” You nodded at the tiny one by one glass square and kissed his temple when he sighed defeatedly, holding his hand and letting him follow you when you opened the door. “Besides, if you think I’m not going to enjoy showing you affection in public, I’ve got some bad news.”

Bucky’s retort was cut off by an absurd amount of hollering when you opened the door, his face getting unbearably red and the desire to either tell all of your friends to shut the fuck up or just book it out of the bar overwhelming. But then your arm was around his shoulders and your lips were pressed against his temple, and maybe he could put up with his friends being smug rowdy assholes for the rest of the night if you kept smiling at him like that.

#natalie writes #no love like your love: the city #sarge and officer beefcake #bucky barnes #male reader #bucky barnes x male reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut #top male reader #marvel x male reader #m/m fic #m/m smut #m/m fluff #marvel fanfic #sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan character

[icallhimjoey]

very much enjoying the slightly pathetic yearning joe content, 10/10

here, have some more of him (18+ yada yada yada) Wordcount: 3.5K

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More Than This

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Friday. You weren’t meant to see Joe until Friday, after this gig he was going to go to near Brick Lane. He would text you and you would tell him you were home and he could come over if he really wanted to.

Those were the plans.

You'd rescheduled hanging out with James Hinge because Friday night you were meant to see Joe.

Friday.

Not Thursday ‘round dinner time out on the street in the day light.

What the fuck.

You’d walked out of work later than you were meant to and had shared a lift ride down with two of your colleagues that you actually liked - a couple, Sarah and Patrick. Met at work and decided to just… be each other’s person, got married and all. Unimaginable to you, but whatever. They were a good couple, properly chose each other, were good at communicating and still managed to work together fine. Wild, honestly.

You’d decided in that short amount of time in the lift to go for a meal together. They were planning on going for Mexican food and asked you to third-wheel along.

Sure. You had no real plans for dinner yet. Had eaten Joe’s stupid pasta the night before. You could accept Mexican food. Bitch and moan about your other colleagues for a little bit.

You could not accept walking past a busy smoker’s area that took up the whole pavement outside a pub and hear your name being called out.

You were in conversation, sort of complaining about your managers because bonding over bad management with your colleagues really healed the soul after a frustrating day, when you heard someone call your name.

You instantly knew who was trying to get your attention. Of course it was him. This was like, his turf, wasn't it?

For a moment, you tried to pretend you hadn’t heard him. Just kept walking, tried to listen to Patrick go on about what really annoyed him about his manager. It could’ve easily been the wind and the chatter of people in the street that made you hear things.

But then Joe placed the drink he was holding on the windowsill he was stood next to, left his cigarette in the ashtray there and took a few running steps out of the group of drinking smokers to catch up to you.

Called your name again, which made both Sarah and Patrick turn their heads.

Fuck.

“Hey,” Joe smiled widely and seemed genuinely excited to see you. Arms opened for a hug, but you didn’t really respond to them, so he ended up just awkwardly touching both your arms in greeting.

“Hi,” you smiled tightly with just the bottom half of your face.

What the fuck was Joe doing?

You would’ve accepted a quick wave, or even a finger prod in the side as you walked past him. A text, even! Just a quick, hey, I saw you, haha. But a chat? With Sarah and Patrick there? Joe made all of you stop walking and now seemed to want to actually talk.

No.

“How are you?” Joe seemed elated. Grinned all widely. All interested. Joe had never asked you how you were before.

“Did you like the pasta?”

“Oh, um... yea, it was fine, I guess,” the hesitation was thick in your voice, everyone could hear it. Your body language probably made people think you had no idea who this guy who’d just started talking to you even was.

You were also lying. The pasta had been an orgasmic life-changing sort of thing. The heating it up in an actual pan with a bit of olive oil was a real game changer. The microwave could fuck right off.

If anything, you were angry at Joe for giving you such a small little portion of it.

“Good! You going for drinks?”

“Um, no, we’re going to get something to eat, actually,” you pointed a thumb over your shoulder, wanted to turn around to keep walking, to signal that you were in a rush.

“Mexican.”

You prayed to whatever God was listening to your mental screams that Sarah or Patrick wouldn’t invite Joe to join.

Problem was that you weren’t in a rush, no matter how much you wanted to make it seem like you were. By now Sarah and Patrick had stepped close enough to make a little circle all together.

This was so weird.

Very awkward.

“Um, yea... this is Joe,” you felt you had no other choice at this point, kind of had to introduce him to your colleagues. You said it all slow, sounded insanely unsure of what you were doing as you pointed at Joe with a small finger, as casual as you could manage it. Joe was all big smiles, very polite, held out his hand to shake both Sarah’s and Patrick’s.

“Sarah, Patrick. Colleagues.” You nodded, lips pushed together in a tight line as you nodded. You raised your eyebrows and inhaled a deep breath. The uneasiness of it all was practically dripping off of you.

Sarah looked at you with a playful sort of confused smile, like she’d just found out the largest secret ever and was about to make fun of you.

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone...”

You looked Joe straight in the eye when you answered Sarah, “I’m not.”

“We’re... friends? We’re friends.” Joe stared straight back at you as he clarified. The way he said it made it so fucking obvious what was going on, it made you narrow your eyes at him.

If he was going to say one more word...

A moment followed where Sarah and Patrick looked from you to Joe and back again as you just stared at each other, almost challengingly so.

Joe reached out an arm. Awkwardly touched you on your bicep where you looked at it.

“All right, have fun, enjoy your dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

He smiled, gave your colleagues a friendly nod and a polite smile before turning around and walking back to where he left his beer on the windowsill.

You said nothing. Just stared at him with a slight frown, mouth open in a confused sort of half smile. What the fuck was that?

Stupid.

Stupid it was that was.

Sarah loudly cleared her throat, and Patrick turned to guide you both back into walking towards the restaurant you were going to.

“You’re seeing him tomorrow?” Sarah asked.

“Um, yea, I might do,”

Please stop talking about this.

“Sounds like you’re seeing someone,” Patrick teased, and out of sight and earshot of Joe, you smiled more confidently at him.

“Trust me: I’m not.”

What followed was a dinner where you truly third-wheeled and you regretted saying yes to going with them. All they seemed interested in was your romantic life, wanted to know more about the guy that had just ran up to them, and why did Sarah recognise him? Did he also work in the office building? Why were you so fucking tense, he only asked you how you were doing, didn't he?

“He seemed very nice,”

“What about, I don’t know, changing your ways? Actually giving someone a shot,” Patrick offered.

“Like I gave you one,”

“Like Sarah gave me one,”

You sighed as your colleagues reached across the table to hold hands for a second. Gross. Made you grumble a bit as you dropped your shoulders and closed your eyes in frustration.

“Listen,” you started.

“Uh oh,” Sarah could barely withhold her laughter.

“I know I’m supposed to want to be in a relationship, to find happiness with someone, but, I'm plenty happy right now. If anything, I’ll just end up sad and alone and heartbroken with a bunch of his old T-shirts that honestly have no business being nearly the same size – they’re not even oversized on me, it looks so dumb when I wear one of his...” you stopped talking, cleared your throat. “Never mind. Relationships suck, they never work out.”

You saw how Sarah and Patrick made eye-contact.

“Not yours, though,” you quickly added. “Your relationship is great. You two are made for each other, it’s like, it’s the Disney type of magical stuff with you two, sort of sickeningly so,” you were definitely overdoing it. You tried to save it with, “I think you should make a sex-tape, really solidify the divorce never happening,”

Sarah released a loud laugh.

“Keep that for blackmail.”

 “Would you–” Patrick tried.

“No,” Sarah immediately shot him down.

“You did theater in school right? I think you’d be good. I’d watch it.” you joked, got them laughing and swiped the whole topic off the table.

The rest of the evening had been filled with conversation about work. Just a lot of gossip and shit-talking, which was nice. Better than the focus being on that guy that you’d ran into.

That guy texted you the next night. It was past midnight, so technically Saturday, and you’d been trying so hard to stay awake. When Joe finally texted you, you felt like it was too late.

“omw rn nearly there”

“im asleep”

“thats ok ill be quiet”

Fucker made you smile.

“wont even know im there”

And then about ten minutes later, your doorbell rang.

You buzzed Joe into the building and sat on the edge of your bed for a second. You were already in pajamas, soft shorts and a matching short sleeved shirt, and stared at your wardrobe. Debated putting something else on for a second. Looked at yourself in the mirrored door and pulled at your hair. Maybe give that a brush through?

You ended up doing neither.

It was only Joe, and he was probably tipsy, if not a little drunk.

When you opened your front door, Joe was already there, and before you could even say hi, or throw him a bitchy comment about the time, Joe grabbed his chest and feigned a full heart attack. Groans and all.

You gave a deadpan stare from your doormat.

“Jesus Christ,” he panted, bent over now, resting the other hand on one of his knees as he looked up at you still clutching his heart. “Do you just get prettier every time I see you?”

So, definitely drunk.

When you didn’t really react to the theatrics, Joe suddenly straightened up and dropped his shoulders.

“Yea? You done?” you couldn't help the little giggle that escaped you.

“One day,” Joe stepped closer, grabbed you around the waist, “You’re going to accept a compliment for me, and you’ll swoon so hard,”

“Mhmm, I’ll swoon, will I?” you looked up at him and let him push you back enough to step inside.

“Mhmm,” Joe leant in, close enough to kiss now. “So hard.”

He was.

So hard.

Pressed it up against your lower stomach to let you feel it.

You didn’t even make it to the bed.

Joe kissed you, and then one of his arms worked together with one of yours to close the door behind him. There was a teeny tiny attempt from you to move towards the bedroom, but it was futile, because Joe turned you around and pushed you up against the front door instead.

Joe’s kisses were sloppy, sloppier than they usually were, and... you kind of just went with it. Were all sloppy too. You were tired anyway, and it was sort of nice to not put any real effort in. Just get tongue wherever.

Felt nice.

You didn’t bother using your hands to press against Joe over his jeans – they were already straining. Instead, it became a quick fumble to get him out of them, and whilst you yanked at that stupid belt once more, Joe pulled at the strings that held your shorts up.

“Never,” you spoke into a kiss, making you break from each other a second to look down, to see what you were doing and to speed up the getting your bottom halves undressed. “Call me your friend in public every again,” you finished, just before Joe got his hands under your thighs and hoisted you up, back firmly pressed against the door still.

“Okay,” Joe agreed easily. Would agree to anything you’d ask of him now, really.

“And don’t fucking shout– ah,” there he was, “Never shhh...,” it was difficult to speak suddenly, gravity forcing you to feel all of Joe without mercy.

Joe didn't move a second, and maybe it was so you could have a moment to finish the fucking sentence. It was more likely it was because of other reasons, but you used the moment of two bodies held still and in place to gather your thoughts enough to get coherent words out.

“Never shout my name across the street again, especially not when I’m with other people,”

“Okay,” Joe breathed the word into your mouth before attaching himself again. A quick kiss, because there was focus needed for what was going on down below and Joe had to both hold you up and start a nice pace of powerfully thrusting his hips into yours.

Hard work when sober. Harder work when having had a few.

“And don’t...”

You never finished what else Joe couldn’t do.

With your arms slung around Joe’s neck, and his strong forearms hooked under your legs, you were pounded against your door, and you were sure the whole fucking floor could hear you going at it.

Didn’t matter.

Your whole floor saw you invite different men into your flat a lot, and they very kindly always pretended they didn’t see. If you were to run into a neighbour tomorrow, you were sure they would also pretend they'd miraculously gone deaf after midnight and hadn't heard a thing.

You mewled as Joe’s lips found your neck, and instead of throwing your head back to give him more skin to mouth at, you were smart enough not to bang it into the door behind you. Instead, you let it fall forward where it rested against Joe’s shoulder, and where before you tried to somehow be lighter, work with Joe as he held you up, your whole body relaxed for a second. Just, went lax. Made Joe instantly push out a huff of air as he had to work even harder at holding you up.

“It’s always the neck,” Joe spoke softly around a breathy laugh as his hips stilled for a second. Went a lot slower for a moment.

“No it’s not,” you were disagreeing just to disagree.

“Yea it is,” Joe was quick to argue, “Right here,” and you felt your whole body tense up in preparation before Joe’s lips kissed you right where you fucking wanted him to. Made you moan loudly and made Joe kiss you harder.

Pace picked back up.

Inhales became short and sharp.

Altogether it lasted seven, maybe eight minutes for Joe to start whispering, “Careful, careful, careful,” which signaled he was close. Like that was your fault.

“No, keep going,”

You wanted Joe to come.

Kind of wanted to feel the shudders and spasms of the sweaty man that was still holding you up with both arms and, wait.

Wait.

No.

No, no, no!

Fuck!

The second you told Joe to keep going, you realized you’d forgone protection. Hadn’t even thought of it fucking once up until then. Condoms resided in the bedroom – of course you wouldn’t have thought to grab one in the fucking entryway of your flat.

Idiots. You were fucking idiots.

And Joe’d been drinking, was sort of drunk.

And you were exhausted, sort of drunk on lack of sleep.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, no, stop,” you pushed Joe with two flat hands against his chest and forced your legs down. “We didn’t... shit,” you felt panic rolling in as you felt Joe slip out – not because you weren’t on birth control. Unwanted pregnancy wasn’t the issue here.

Listen.

You weren’t stupid.

You were sleeping with several guys. Or, at least, there were like four other men in your phone who you’d totally let in if they texted you to see you were up still, you know?

Slut era. Feminism and shit. Whatever else terms made you feel fine and proud of how you decided to live your life.

Joe probably had his own roster too.

To keep things fun and flirty and all right down there, condoms weren’t a joke to you. You didn’t buy them just to have them close and then not use them. They weren’t there just for the pretence of feeling safe. It wasn't like when you bought office supplies and felt productive just from doing that, didn't even have to use any of it for you to feel all organised.

No.

The condoms were meant to do actual protecting. To actually be used.

Your body was about to move forward, to step around Joe towards the bedroom to sort of try to fix what needed fixing, get a condom quickly, but logically you were both aware it was already too late.

So instead, Joe undid your first little step away from him and pushed you right back against the door.

“No, we–”

Then he dropped to his knees.

“Oh... oh, okay,”

Slung one of your legs over his shoulder.

“Yea, that works, fuck,”

Made you come on his tongue in literal seconds. The fact that you heard him wank as he did really helped, which was surprising. New.

You’d also never had to clean sperm off of the bottom of your front door before, but here you were, on your knees. You know, first time for everything and all that.

“I don’t want to be like, maybe get tested, but...”

You fucking hated this conversation, but felt you needed to be a big girl about it as Joe had a quick clean up of whatever needed a wipe in your bathroom whilst you had a quick clean up of the front door.

“Maybe get tested?” his voice echoed slightly, and you were glad Joe seemed normal about it.

“Yea, I don’t think I’ve got, I don’t think there’s anything... but you know, if there was, I wouldn’t... I don’t want you–”

“Yea, no worries,”

Cool.

Okay.

Great.

Seeing Joe in public the day before had been more awkward than this chat just now.

Nice.

“Sorry for the mess,” Joe’s voice suddenly sounded closer, and you turned to look over your shoulder.

Stupid smirk.

“Your come’s very sticky.”

It was.

“All right. Weird compliment.”

Nose scrunch.

“Wasn’t a compliment.” You groaned as you got up, tired body in serious need of some rest now.

You got a head tilt and a smile from Joe as he got closer and grabbed your face with both his hands.

“I really do apologise,” he said, getting all close and looking you in the eye like a real weirdo.

“Eh, nothing a little Mr Clean won’t fix,”

You took a mental note to buy some tomorrow.

“About forgetting to use protection,”

“Oh,”

Joe leant in for a kiss. An impossibly soft one.

“But,” Joe spoke very softly. Kissed you again. Had you melt a bit, which was dangerous. Risky behaviour, all of this.

“Can I just say,” one of is thumbs rubbed at your cheekbone, at the skin under your eye as you blinked them open. “It was... very good.”

Joe had a look in his eyes that was... it was too much. Scared you a little.

“I think,” you inhaled sharply, then patted Joe on his cheek. Three taps, just forceful enough for him to squeeze an eye shut. “I think you’ve just drank a bit too much.”

Spell broken.

Joe huffed an annoyed breath that made you laugh as you let go of each other. He was right though - it had been very good. Was a nice change of scenery and change of pace for the two of you. You weren’t going to mention that though, obviously.

“Bye Joe,” you gave Joe a tired smile as you opened the door for him and gestured for him to leave with the other arm.

Joe nodded at you, eyes narrowed and tongue in his cheek.

“One day I’ll figure it out,” Joe said, stepping over the threshold. “Figure you out.”

“All right, good luck with that,” you shrugged with one shoulder and before Joe could even come up with a comeback, you said “M’kay, bye!” and shut the door.

You could hear Joe softly chuckle to himself before you heard him say, “I’ll text!” through the door, and then his footsteps disappeared down the hall.

You had a small little moment where you couldn’t help smiling all widely. All sort of... warm in the chest. You looked down and saw Joe’s evidence still there stained on your door.

Gross. But also, you weren’t going to lie... you felt a little proud. Had made that happen just by... just by standing there. Just by letting him get his mouth on you. Nice.

But then reality set in.

Shit.

You stupid, stupid bitch.

How high were the chances of contracting an STI from under ten minutes of stood-up sex, did you think?

---

The Taglisted

@05secondsofsexgods, @a-time-for-wolvess, @adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddie-joe-munson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frogers, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @luvrsbian, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @ohmeg, @paola-carter, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thefemininemystiquee, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @yelyahcardella

(taglist currently full, sorry)

#Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #rpf #18+ #more than this

[bestanimatedmovie]

Choose your favorite!

Vote in the other polls!

What fans say:

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron:

I was a Horse Girl TM, so I watched this movie a million times as a kid. It's honestly the best horse animation I've ever seen, all the backgrounds are gorgeous, and the soundtrack is incredible. Also the plot is anti-colonial/anti "taming of the west". Genuinely cannot pick a favorite scene, but I love the scene where Spirit commits many acts of violence against the US military <3

horsie :) I love how they use actual horse body language instead of just turning them into a dog. Also enjoy how the protags are easily understandable with just body language and neighs. Also the 2d and 3d animation blend seamless.

I cannot begin to tell you what makes this movie so good. It's a corner stone of animated media. The societal commentary. The incredible emotion of not only the story but the animation. The songs. Sound the Bugle makes me cry every time.

This movie was a key part of my childhood and “Sound the Bugle” still makes me tear up.

This is like the greatest horse movie of all time and I will not change my mind. I watched this movie so many times as a kid that both the VHS and first cd I had for it got ruined and we had to replace it with another cd LOL. I once convinced my teacher to let us watch it in class because it had a few scenes with Native Americans and we were learning about them at the time(It's about the old west and the expansion of the United States westward so it has some Native American characters but def not enough to make it a Native American film, but it does have positive representation I think?) The main character is the horse Spirit, a lead stallion for a herd of mustangs. His thoughts are narrated but he doesn't actively talk and the horse behaviors are pretty realistic, also the ART of it all, James Baxter was one of the lead animators for this film and his work is incredible, and hand done. Some of the behind the scenes stuff in the extras makes the animation look 3d its so good, and the camera work is also insane. As a horse obsessed child this movie was a staple for me, and I prefer it even over live action movies with actual horses. ALSO THE SOUNDTRACK OH MY GODDD how can I almost forget, the soundtrack for this movie goes so hard, I used to use some of the songs as hype music not even lying.

The Mitchells vs. the Machines:

It’s in its core about family, how we can drift and argue. Not because of one true fault, but because we are different. It shows how being weird and different don’t make you less of a family while not demonizing people who do have more stereotypical ‘perfect’ families. I think it portrays our humanity and the way we bond and what we do for those we love, what we sacrifice, so well. It’s so funny and so sweet.

It's funny and the family is neurodivergent and it's just really nice v good time it looks like anti technology at first but its clearly more of a criticism on capitalism I just really like that movie its pretty to look at.

It's funky!!! hang on, bullet point list time: - has such a unique and expressive animation style - has a lot of pop culture references that don't really feel overbearing - has honestly one of the best family dynamics in a movie I've seen???? - realistic characters!!! with realistic and interesting character arcs!!! - absolutely hilarious. makes me laugh every time i watch it :) - comedic villain! gotta love me one of those. also she's badass for a smartphone so - tHERE ARE FURBIES - basically it's very chaotic but also heartwarming, and it's honestly my favourite movie :D

Heartwarming story about family! Also kickass animation

Very good stylized animation. Well written and designed characters. Super funny and sooo heart warming. Fucking rad action scenes (again the animation is fantastic). The story comes together well, it's just quite well written. + Protective dad character who's not annoying as hell (that's rare!). I love every part of when they're at the dinosaur museum thing.

#Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron #Spirit #The Mitchells vs. the Machines #best animated movie #round 2 #tournament poll #tumblr's favorite

[hotvintagepoll]

I am adoring all of these polls and gif sets and just being fed so many hot vintage people. As someone who really hasn’t watched very many classics, are there any movies you’d recommend for someone just starting to dip their toes in older media but unsure where to start?

Sure! I don't want to sway any voting, but I'll put an incomplete list of favorites that involve hot men not still in the bracket below the cut.

Something to note that applies to most of these old movies—older movies have different pacing than modern movies, so some of these might seem really slow or weird to start. There are also different ways of framing gender and agency, for better and for worse. I've italicized the ones that I think are the best for starting with, but go with whatever genre/aesthetic sounds best.

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone)—a circus performer working for a quasi-Robin Hood infiltrates the royal court. Fun comedy that's incredibly accessible and still so light on its feet. Swordfighting, glamorous medieval costumes, court intrigues, and silly accents.

Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly)—fun polyamorous musical comedy. The dancing is incredible, but so is the sense of joy and camaraderie between Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, and Debbie Reynolds. Genuinely captures the feeling of hanging out with your best friends. 1920s Hollywood, big movie studios, backstage drama, goofy hijinks.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (Errol Flynn, Basil Rathbone)—classic swashbuckler/romance. It could read a little slow to modern tastes but the action scenes are absolutely killer, as is the sentiment of seeing little guys pull down big capitalists evil monarchs. Swashbuckling, labor activists merry men hanging out in the woods, hot men in tights, social commentary swords, a Maid Marian who really holds her own and falls in love with the socialist

Charade (Cary Grant)—thriller/romantic comedy. Audrey Hepburn's husband dies and leaves her a hidden inheritance, and she's racing some skeevy characters to find it. A little bit scary but mostly charming and gorgeous, and you can find it high quality virtually anywhere because they fucked up the copyright trademark in the opening credits. Romance, murders, Paris, 1960s fashion, chases in the night.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Dick Van Dyke)—this movie is divisive for some reason—I personally like peace, love, and joy, so it makes the list. This is a James Bond movie if James Bond had two kids, lived in a windmill in the south of England, and was into cottagecore inventions more than martinis and racism. This is very much a kids' movie so go in with that expectation, but enjoy the gorgeous production design, the wonderfully silly performances, and Lionel Jeffries pulling out every stop as an insane old man. Dick Van Dyke has excellent DILF energy. Magical cars, big musical vibes, fun inventions, and romantic fantasy.

To Be Or Not To Be (Jack Benny)—comedy/drama. A ragtag Warsaw theatre troupe stands off against the Gestapo after the invasion of Poland. TW for Nazis, obviously, but overall this is a comedy with some heft, and kind of shocking to be this ballsy about fucking hating Hitler's guts in the 1940s. Hambone actors, Shakespeare, spies, 1930s gowns. It's been a minute since I watched it so I don't think there are any TWs here, but go forth with caution.

Witness for the Prosecution (Tyrone Power)—mystery/legal drama based off an Agatha Christie story. The performances are campy fun and the twist would be at home in something like Knives Out. Big dramatics, hambones, lots of talking, a bit of a mindbender.

The Lady Vanishes (Michael Redgrave)—mystery/suspense/romantic comedy. It's a little slow to start but roll with it—once the action moves to the train the pacing really picks up. This gets slotted as a thriller sometimes but it's much funnier and gentler than that. There's some period-typical snarkiness directed at anyone Foreign™ by some of the British characters; the British characters are also made fun of. Trains, British people, international shenanigans, mystery, and humor.

All About Eve (absolutely none of these hot men, lots of hot women though)—a legendary actress fights for her life against the rising star who supplants her. Big drama, big performances, lots of gasp! and dahling! and vicious little quips. New York, theatre pronounced theahhtah, drama queens and plotting.

The Philadelphia Story (James Stewart, Cary Grant)—talk-heavy comedy, lots of quick banter and period transatlantic accent fun. It's a bit shouty and conflict-heavy at times, but I don't think James or Cary have ever been hotter, and Katherine Hepburn is just wow. Very funny dialogue, relatable characters, incredibly hot across the board. There is one instance of a racial slur (not directed at anyone but still there) and one shove. Some people won't like the discussion of Hepburn's character's choices as a daughter and a wife. With all of these movies you'll see a a range of how female characters are presented and treated, and while some period movies fall hard for sexist tropes, I personally think the performances, direction, and subtext of many of these films actually prioritizes the experiences of the female characters and shows them as living, breathing people, even if they're not framed the way they would be today.

#hotvintagethoughts #asks #recs

[xetswan]

Youngest Shadow- The Game

Seven | Eight | Nine

warning: slight homophobia

Longest chapter so far with almost 4k words

Jessica and I have been practicing outside, Angela taking pictures. Only practicing since Jessica has nagged me for the past few days now. Trying to spike on me every time we do so. Eric was studying the prom fliers, “Monte Carlo? That’s our theme?” Jessica frowns at the lame theme that was chosen for this year. “Gambling, tuxedos and Bond. James- Ow!” She threw a ball roughly at Eric’s face, I smirk. 

“Oh. My. God.” Angela exclaims, who was once scanning to take more pictures is now frozen in place. We follow to where she was staring and it was just my sister and Edward showing up to school together. I hadn’t really been speaking to Alice and Jasper after the night with their family. Overhearing that it was destined for me to have a near death experience just for me to know who I was in my past lives and they knew it was going to happen. It also works because I hate attention, something I know Bella hates too. 

Throughout the rest of the day Jasper and Alice would stare at me, trying to pull me aside to talk to me only for me to ignore them and hurry off to a different area or sit somewhere else if we shared a class. But at the end of the day it was a waste when Alice came up to me, taking my hand in hers. “Hey, what’s going on lovebug?” I gave her a look for the stupid nickname and she laughs. “Sorry, but seriously why are you avoiding us?” She pouts, I lick my lips getting ready to actually say it but then something stops me once I lock eyes with her. 

“I needed some time to think about us.” I tell her, “I’m having a hard time with everything, trying to understand and I overwhelmed myself at your place I felt embarrassed.” I lied, I was fine with the whole vampire thing surprisingly. That’s not what bothered me. What bothered me was the fact that she knows I’m going to have a near death experience and won’t even warn me. I don’t understand how that’s protecting me. Maybe I’ll bring it up later. 

“Ah, that makes sense. I’m sorry it’s so overwhelming for you, my lovebug.” She moves my hair behind my ear sending shivers down my spine. It honestly made me forget how many people were around, until we get shouted at. “What the fuck?” A guy yelled, I step away from Alice and we turn to see some guy I don’t think I’ve ever seen before in school. “You guys gay or some shit?” He laughs, my eyebrows furrow as Alice glares at him. 

“Y’all should kiss!” His friends hit him in the shoulders like he did something with that. I glance over and see Jasper staring at the scene as well. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” The three guys all laugh, I flick them off and they just laugh harder. 

“I need to go, my dad made plans. Just um, come over later.” I tell her, walking away to my bike, getting my helmet on and riding off as quick as possible due to the embarrassment I just had to endure. I ended up coming to the cafe later than Bella which meant I was super late.

There were a group of basketball players outside and I mentally cursed seeing Mike there as well. “[Name]! I didn’t know you were a lesbo!” One of the guys shouted at me and my eyes widen but I try to ignore it, heading towards the door but he blocks it. “Does her man know?” His arm was on the door and he leaned on it. I stare up at him not saying anything. “What?” You got something to say?” He asks, I take my helmet off, putting it on the ground, staring back up at him. I take a deep breath. “I asked you something.” He repeats, I take a step back. In the corner of my eye I see my dad stand up from his spot in the booth. Bella seemed alarmed. “Come on, man. She don’t deserve this plus her dad’s the chief.” Mike puts a hand on his shoulder but the guy doesn’t back up. I dip my hand into my front pocket of my jeans.

“Does your dad know you like-” I take my hand out and spray him with the pepper spray Charlie gave me. He stumbles back holding his eyes and screaming in pain. The cafe door swings open. What happened!?” He angrily asks, “Nothing, sir. He went too far, he was antagonizing her.” Mike blurts out, the kid groans outloud but the group pushes him away. Charlie turns to look at me. “What the hell was that, [Name]?” He grabbed onto my arms as I try my hardest to look away from him. “[Name] Swan, answer me right now.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it!” I exclaim, tears welling in my eyes. “Please.”

His grip loosens, his gaze softening as well. “Are you okay at least?” 

“I’m fine.” I sniffle, wiping my eyes, he lets me go and grabs my helmet for me. “I should wash my hands.” I lift up my hand that’s covered in the pepper spray, I didn’t wipe my eyes with this hand don’t worry. He sighs, shaking his head, pushing me inside. Cora the waitress who knows about my whole life from dad places a hand on my back. “You alright, sweetheart.” I just nod, heading straight for the bathroom to wash my hands quickly then going back to the booth with my sister and dad. 

The dinner ends up being a little awkward as they talk to each other but treat me like they need to walk on egg shells. I forced myself to eat so I don’t have to talk much so I just listen to them. 

After getting home I rush straight to my room where they were already standing, I shut the door, locking it right away and collapsing on my bed. Wanting to just sob and go to sleep but I know I should talk to them. Definitely not about what I heard though, I’m already exhausted from pepper spraying a basketball player. Alice sits behind me, motioning for me to lay on her. I end up just putting my head on her lap and she plays with my hair. 

I stare up at Jasper, he steps closer, wiping my cheek that had a tear fall. I noticed how his face seemed stiffer than normal. I then remembered how it hurts him to be around people still. His thirst stronger than the others. 

“I saw what happened, I’m sorry we didn’t stop it.” Alice apologizes, I look up at her and she seemes extremely beat up over it. I place my hand on top of hers. “It’s okay, don’t worry.” I attempt to assure her. She smiles gently. “I won’t go near you at school anymore. You don’t deserve to go through that.” She tells me, I sit up from her lap. “What? No, let them talk.” I grab her hand tighter even though I know she barely feels it. “But-” 

“I know how I am with attention but I don’t care anymore. Plus I have my pepper spray.” I wink and they both laugh quietly. “Are you sure, darling?” Jasper questions, I pull him closer to me, having him actually sit down now. “Of course, let them talk. What else are they going to do?” I shrug, Alice stands up, going over and sitting on my lap. “If that’s what you want.” She kisses my nose softly. I nod, “It is.”

We then sit there silently and I think about my thoughts from before. I know I’m not going to bring it up to them but I want to so badly understand their thinking. Understand why they do what they do. 

“You’re anxious.” Jasper states, I suck on the inside of my cheek not respnding. “Why?” Alice questions. “Just wondering about how that would play out.” I lie, well partially. 

“Mmm, it will be okay. We’ll be there. Also, we want to take you somewhere tomorrow. Edward will be picking you and Bella up.” She stands up from my lap, she takes Jasper’s hand but I stop both of them from leaving. 

“Wait, I want to um.. I want to try something.” I tell them, getting up from my bed, first taking Alice’s face in the palm of my hands. She smiles, automatically knowing what I’m doing she closes her eyes. I lean slowly, my heart racing as I kiss her lips longer than a few seconds. I push away after a little bit, we both look up to see Jasper watching and I chuckle, pulling him towards me and doing the same thing. 

“I’ll see you both tomorrow.” I wave them off and not even seconds later they’re gone. 

A few hours later my mom ends up calling me, I pick it up lazily knowing that either Bella or Charlie had told her what happened. I hear loud noises in the background fading away. “[Name]!” it was my moms voice yelling, I jolted away from my own hand then go back to it. “Yes, mom?” I ask, “I heard you pepper sprayed someone! What did he do?” She says, I throw my head back annoyed. 

“Mom, I’m fine.” I tell her but I knew she wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer. “[Name]” She warns me. “Mom, please.” I nervously say. “I will have your father investigate what happened if you do not tell me right now.” Of course she pulls that out, “You don’t have to do that.” I tell her. 

“It was just a guy calling me a lesbo or whatever. No biggie.” I quickly say, this happened before in Arizona, I’ve been called names my whole life. Especially for not liking guys and never having a boyfriend. “If it’s no biggie why’d you punch?” She interrogates me, I roll my eyes like before. “I was cornered.” That wasn’t a lie necessarily. She hums, still not satisfied. “Who’s the girl, [Name].” She says and it felt like my eyes pop out of my socket. “Mom!”

“Oh, come on [Name]. I know my daughter.” She laughs, “Who is she?” She repeats herself and I sigh. “Her name is Alice.” She squeals in laughter. “Mom!” I whine for her to stop. “I’m sorry! I’m just happy you found someone.” She tells me. “Well, actually it’s her and her boyfriend.” I bite my lip waiting for judgement. 

“Hey, I can’t judge your lifestyle. Two people?” She excitedly laughs and I shake my head. “Please don’t tell anyone. No one knows except Bella and that’s because they’re also apart of the Cullen family.” I sigh, picking at my finger nails. “Woww I need to see what these people look like if both of my daughters decided to date them.” She jokes, I smile to myself just happy she’s not upset with my dating life even though I know it is definitely out of the ordinary. 

“Well, I should get going to bed mom. I love you.” I say, “Oh, I love you too, goodnight!” She blows kisses over the phone and i press the button to hang up. Finally laying down for the night and going to bed. 

The next day I was sitting with Charlie as Bella came into the room. Charlie is currently cleaning his rifle, he goes to greet her but she cuts him off. “I have a date with Edward Cullen. [Name] does too with his foster brother.” She announcses and I quietly laugh at his facial expression as he glances between the both of us. “They’re too old for you two.” He responds. “We’re both juniors plus Jasper is only a Senior. Also I thought you liked the Cullens.” She says, I tilt my head agreeing with her. “And I thought you weren’t interested in any of the boys in town.” Charlie brings up, she seems frustrated. “Edward doesn’t live in town and its in the early stage- and whatever he’s outside right now.” This even causes me to stop every movement I was making like my dad just did. “Now? He’s out there?” 

“He wants to meet you. Officially.” She tells him. “Good.” Charlie cocks his rifle. I snicker, earning a look from her. “Be nice, okay? He’s important.” He nods reassuring her, she goes to the door and opens it to reveal her new boyfriend. “Cheif Swan I wanted to formally introduce myself. I’m Edward.” He extends his hand and Charlie hesitantly takes it grunting a small hello. “I won’t keep the two out late tonight. We’re just going to play baseball with my family.” He informs him also informing us because we had no idea either. “Bella’s going to play baseball?” Charlie is shocked, definitely because Bella doesn’t play sports. “Yes sir, that’s the plan.” He nods. “Well, more power to you I guess.” 

“They’ll be safe with my family, I promise.” Edward makes eye contact with him to show him he was being serious. He exits and as I get up Charlie holts both of us from following. “You both got that pepper spray- [Name] I know you do.” I laugh at his words. “Dad.” Bella shakes her head, we then both leave and climb into this massive jeep. “Your father thinks you should go to an all-girls school.” Edward says to Bella in an amused tone. 

“No fair, reading Charlie’s mind.” I sat in the backseat and I notice the baseball cap the same time as Bella. “And since when do vampires like baseball?”

I mentally cringed to that question. “It’s the American past time. Plus, there’s a thunderstorm coming. It’s the only time we can play. You’ll see why.” He explains and now I’m perked up at the thought of seeing my two play. Watch them in action of a sport I actually really enjoy. 

We finally get through the clearing of woods, it was a field and there were storm clouds erupting in the sky. The jeep comes to a stop, Esme and Emmett come over to greet us, Emmett helping me down. I look around for Jasper and Alice, “Good thing you’re here. We need some umpires.” Esme smiles sweetly. Emmett has a wicked grin caused by her words. “She thinks we cheat.” He laughs. “I know you cheat.” She turns to both of us. “Call em how you see em girls.” She pats us. I see Alice on the pitchers mound and she gives me a quick wave before speaking up. “It’s time!” Right then a rumble of thunder shakes and I grip onto Bella excitedly. We both stand right by Esme who’s the catcher. Alie pitches and Rosalie smashes the ball with an aluminum bat. It cracks loudly right when a thunder hits at the same time. “Now I get why you need thunder.” My sister says. The ball goes right into the forest, Edward running after it. 

“That has to be a home run.” Bella insists as we wait. “Edward’s very fast.” Was all she said in return. Rosalie darts around the bases, it looks like a blur but Edward rasces out with the ball whipping to home plate. Esme catches it milliseconds before Rosalie slides in. 

“You’re out?” Bella says questioning herself and I sadly nod as I was kind of rooting for Rosalie. Esme nods too. Next up is Carlisle and he hits a line drive, Emmett and Edward race for it, colliding with one another with so much force it felt like I could feel it all in the ground like a mini earthquake. They end up missing the ball anyway, Carlisle is safe. I cheer for him, everyone smiles, almost.

Jasper is up and I watch him and Alice make eye contact and I fall in awe. Jasper whacks the ball into the forest like Rosalie just did. Before they can go after it Alice gasps and they all come to a stop. “Stop! I didn’t see them!” She shouts, Jasper pulling me behind him, Rosalie coming to my side as well. “They’re traveling so quickly.” Alice says in a worried tone. 

“You said they left the country.” Rosalie exclaims. “They did but then they heard us.” Alice looks at Edward. “And changed their minds.” Edward turns to Bella. “Put your hair down.”

Alice races over, shoving a hat onto my head. “They smell you too.” She sadly says and I raise an eyebrow. I thought no one was effected by my blood?

“Like that will help. I could smell her across the field.” Edward ignores Rosalie as he arranges Bella’s hair a certain way. “I shoudn’t have brought you here. I’m so sorry.” Edward says to Bella specifically. They all turn towards the forest and there’s three vampires that emerge out. I look down to their bare feet then back up to their dark red eyes. The one with darker skin and long hair lifts his hand up to show the baseball. “I believe this belongs to you.” He tosses the ball to Carlisle who catches it with ease. He smiles politely. “Thank you.” 

“Could you use three more players?” He questions. “Of course.” Carlisle nods. “I’m Laurent, this is Victoria and James.” He introduces them. 

“Would you like to bat first?” Carlisle asks, Laurent ends up with the bat.  I stand with Edward and Rosalie with my sister near the jeep. I watch Edwards eyes lock with James. “I’m afraid your hunting activities have caused something of a mess for us.” Carlisle says. 

“Our apologies. We didn’t realize the territory had been claimed.” Laurent responds and to be frank he seemed nice and genuine but the other two… I don’t know. “Yes, we maintain a permanent residence.” The three have a shared look of surprise from his words.  

“Really? Well we won’t be a problem anymore.” Laurant quickly tells everyone. “The humans were tracking us but we led them east.” The Victoria girl says just as Jasper pitches the ball, Laurent slams it but Alice is already up in a tree in a flash, she catches the ball with a thwap sound as it met her hand. Laurent looked pissed as James smiles, obviously glad he met worthy opponents. 

James is next and it was like a power slam, he runs past first base then Edward, then us two, then wind moves Bella’s hair and before I even realize it James comes to a complete stop. His head whips around to Bella and I, his nostrils flare. “You brought some snacks.” Alice rushes over to me, clinging onto my arm as Jasper was now in front of me beside Edward. 

The Cullens now all in a position. “The girls are with us.” Carlisle says, “We won’t harm them” Laurent reassures him, trying to diffuse the situation. “Just try it.” Emmett says, practically looking for a fight. 

“I think it’s best you leave.” Carlisle says, Rosalie puts her hand on Emmett to calm him down. “Yes, I can see the game is over. We’ll go now.” He says, turning to walk away but looks back. “James.” His hand goes onto the guys shoulder finally getting him to walk away. 

Once they’re gone Esme collects the bats. “Get them out of here. We’ll follow them.” Carlisle says, running off with Jasper and Rosalie towards the other three. Edward scoops up Bella as Alice rushes me to the jeep. Both of them strap us in like little kids. “James is a tracker. I saw his mind. The hunt is his obsession and my reaction set him off.” The two get in and Edward whips the jeep around. As Edward explains things to Bella I look at Alice. “How come my scent effects him?” I whisper to her. “I don’t know, I think it’s like Edward said he’s a hunter.” She sits by me and holds me close to her. 

“The first place he’ll go is your house. He’ll track your scent from there.” Edward says and I jump up as Bella looks horrified. “What?! Charlie’s there, he’s in danger because of me! Because of us!” She shouts and I start breathing heavily, Alice take my hand and tries to soothe me. “Then we’ll lead the tracker away from him somehow.” He calmly replies and I just knew it was to calm Bella down but it’s not working. 

Bella bursts into the house as I sit outside. “I said leave me alone!” Bella yells. “Bella don’t do this. Just think about it please.” Edward pleads and if i didn’t know what was happening I would’ve believed this. “Get out it’s over.” She slams the door and I end up going in a few seconds later. “Bella? What happened?” Charlie asks, his face full of worry. “I have to get out of this place. Out of Forks. I’m leaving and so is [Name].” Bella runs up the stairs, Charlie follows her. My heart breaks as I have to go along with it too. Bella slams the door behind her and he looks down at me. “What happened?” He asked.

I shrugged, “Dad it’s best for us to go. You saw how people treat me.” I explain my part of the reasoning. I walk to my room and Alice stood there handing me my bag. I stand in my room for a little bit then I peck her lips before jogging back over. “I thought you liked him?” Charlie asks and I obviously missed a little bit of the conversation. “That’s why I have to leave. I don’t want this I want to go home.” Bella says. 

Bella then goes to charge down the stairs but Charlie follows her. “Your mother’s not even in Phoenix.” Charlie reminds her. “She’ll come home. I’ll have [Name] call her.” 

“You can’t drive home now. I’ll take you two to the airport tomorrow morning.” I watch his facial expressions and the look makes me want to cry. “I want to drive. I need to think. I’ll pull into a motel in a few hours I promise.” She says and goes down more steps but Charlie blocks her from going further to the door. “Bells I know I’m not around much but I can change that. We can do more things together. [Name] I’ll make sure people stop bothering you. You can go on the rez with Jacob.” He pleads with us and I just hide behind Bella, not wanting to see his hurting expression any more. “Like watch more baseball on the flat screen? Or go to the Coffee shop? Same people, same steak, same berry cobbler every night? That’s you dad. Not me. Not us.” Bella exclaims and I know it hits him hard. I glance up and his eyes focus on me. “Do you… feel that way too?” His voice was soft and it partially broke. I suck in a deep breath. “Yes. I’m tired of being treated like a freak here dad.” I frown. “Bella, [Name]... I just got you two back.” I squeeze my eyes shut having a feeling where this is about to go so we can leave and as much as I don’t want her to go there we need to go. “And if I don’t get out now I’m going to get stuck here like mom did and I don’t want this for [Name] either.” Charlie looks stunned and we take that to our advantage, pushing through him and out of the door. We rush to her truck and she drives away. 

I glance back and see him staring out of the window.

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