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slasherscream · 4 months

Note

I don't normally like make requests from people if it's obvious I'm sorry for my awkwardness.

Anyway you were saying how you were really into Jordan li recently so am I and I've read every single fanfiction or every rant there is about them and I crave more. I have been in a angst/fluff mood and I haven't seen anyone do this idea either. I was thinking thinking maybe Jordan and reader gets into an argument (not really picky about what) and the argument gets really heated (you know how jordan shifts into their male form to Intimidate or get their point across) Jordan shifts into their male form which scares reader (I'm thinking reader doesn't have a good past with angry men) and reader backs away from them in fear Jordan notices and tries to comfort them but reader flinched when Jordan touches them. Reader then asks them to leave so they do but Jordan spends like a week trying to make the situation better.

(I would also like to put reader isn't scared of Jordan more so the action of the blatant Intimidation tactic they tried to use against reader. Reader is angry that jordan would try to scare them even if it wasn't on purpose it still hurt)

Jordan sorta just spends a week following reader around Like a lost puppy trying to treat reader like a absolute queen even if reader won't really acknowledge them until Jordan has an breakdown while drunk coming to readers dorm begging for forgiveness.

Again if its obvious I don't know how to make requests I'm sorry this has just been on my mind for so long.

A/N: this request is absolutely perfect, and exactly to my tastes. thank you for sending it, doll!

WORD COUNT: 4k+ under cut | hurt/comfort and angst/fluff

It’s hard sometimes, knowing when to push and when to just let Jordan be. Not at all a skill you learned over night. You’d gotten good at the push and pull of bringing them out of their shell back when the two of you had just been friends. Better at it than anyone else, at least. It was a slow process, but every second was worth it.

Now on the good days you don’t have to push at all. A hand on their arm. A coaxing smile or two. Any act of connection, no matter how small, enough to make them tell you what’s on their mind. Even if they scowl the entire time they let it out. It’s the letting it out at all that counts. Progress!

Today you miscalculated. It’s been a bad week. Jordan hadn’t dropped in the rankings, but their points took a small dip. They hadn’t been very active on their socials, busy doing work as Brink’s TA. But the point gap between where Jordan sits at #2 in the rankings, and where Andre sits at #3 is still a wide open chasm.

It’d take something truly disastrous to knock Jordan from the spot they’ve held for three years now. But the rankings are more important than anything to Jordan. No matter how gently you try to bring logic into the situation, Jordan gets irritated quickly, accusing you of not taking it seriously. You often wonder how that could be, considering you’re in the top eight yourself, but you bite your tongue and don’t bring it up.

The group had tried to go out for lunch. It was okay at first, everyone making an effort to ignore the storm cloud Jordan cast over the table as they picked at their food. Then Andre had made some type of stupid joke. Not even about the rankings, but enough to make Jordan snap at him. The situation escalated so quickly that Cate had threatened to take off her glove and make everyone shut up. You paid your portion of the bill and dragged Jordan out before anyone could start up again.

And now you’re here, somehow also on the shit list for not being supportive enough. As if being supportive isn't everything you do. Day in and day out.

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side. You don’t honestly think it was an innocent comment, do you?” Jordan snaps, standing up from your couch to pace the length of your dorm room.

“You know how Andre is. He gets sarcastic when he’s hungover, and he was packing a double whammy. He did coke and got drunk last night. He was just a little off. He wasn’t making a real dig at you.” You defend your friend, knowing Jordan will regret what she said at lunch once she’s calmed down.

“Oh, so we’re all just supposed to tiptoe around his highness? If he was gonna be a dick during the entire thing he should have just skipped coming out with us.” Jordan’s eyes narrow in on your expression, the sudden pursing to your lips and looking away. “What?” She snaps.

You take a deep breath at the tone, “Well, Jordie, if you want me to be honest Andre wasn’t the only one who wasn’t on their best behavior today.”

A beat of silence.

You look up and there goes Jordan rolling her shoulders back, eyebrows practically in her hairline and you sigh. You definitely should have brought up her attitude later.

“You really are taking his side!” She scoffs in disbelief.

“Nope. No, I am not, there are no sides. We’re all friends. Friends fight. I’m just trying to remind you that you actually are friends. You can’t just…” You trail off, uncertain.

“I can’t just what?” She throws up her hands, volume raising.

“You can’t act like this every time the rankings do something that isn’t spectacular for you. I know they mean a lot to you but you can’t take the numbers out on the people who care about you.”

“You just don’t get it-”

“But I do get it! We talk about it all the time. Your feelings are completely valid, the way you react to them isn’t. You’ve been giving Andre looks that could kill all week and he didn’t even do anything. If he was a little snappy at lunch, maybe he’s upset that his friend has been treating him like shit over something he barely cares about.”

“Well if I’m so-” Jordan shifts, pitch of his voice deepening, on the verge of yelling, “-fucking awful why don’t you go run to Andre and cry about it together?”

He only takes two steps towards the couch before you use your powers. It’s instinct, the way the forcefield bubbles up around you.

Whatever Jordan was going to say next shrivels up and dies on his tongue. The only sounds in the room are the quiet hum your powers make when you use them, and the scared, panicked gasp you make from inside the forcefield you put up to protect yourself from him.

There’s a second where the two of you just stare at each other. Both in shock.

“Baby-” Jordan tries taking another step forward, a small, barely there shuffle of his foot. His face falls when the forcefield gets a little louder, glows a little brighter.

Jordan looks close to tears. It’s that expression that pulls you out of the animal state of fear you’d fallen into. You look away from them. Take a few heaving breaths. Do your best to not mix up faces of the past with your present and future.

Your forcefield flickers out slowly. A concentrated effort.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to- I would never ever-'' Jordan shifts again. She rushes too fast into your space to kneel on the ground in front of you, her hands reaching for yours, desperate and clumsy.

When you flinch away, moving so you’re perched on the armrest of the couch, still trying to calm yourself down, she’s left with her hands grasping at air. “Baby, look at me. Please? Look at me, I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry that I… I’m sorry. I would never hurt you. I fucking swear I wasn’t-”

“I know, Jordan.” You shake your head, trying to stay calm. “Could you please….leave? I… I can’t calm down right now. I’m trying. I know you didn’t mean to… to scare me, but I need you to go.”

“Baby, wait, fuck. Fuck, wait! I’m sorry. Let’s just talk. I can’t leave you alone like this. I’m sorry.” She’s panicking now, throat feeling like it’s closing up.

She doesn’t try to reach for you again, but her hands feel like they’re burning from the effort it takes to keep them away from you. It’s instinct to hold you, to make it better, to pull you closer. She’s always been the place you run to when you’re scared, the shield you step behind when you need to feel safe. She doesn’t know what to do when you don’t even want to be near her.

“We’ll talk later. I’ll… I’ll have Cate come over so I’m not alone. Just.. leave.” Your voice breaks on a sob, and you’re begging her to leave, and that’s what makes Jordan head to the door, legs shaking. She’s never made you cry before.

She’s glued to her phone the rest of the day, waiting for you to call. You don’t.

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You’ve been best friends since you were freshman. You haven’t gone longer than two days without talking in all that time since. No matter how busy you are. No matter how shitty either of you feels. Jordan doesn’t know what to do with the hours of the day that you usually fill.

She breaks on the second day when you show up to class and move to sit by Luke on the other side of the room instead of with her. You don’t even look at her as you walk by.

Class doesn’t start for another five minutes. The teacher isn’t even here yet, and she’s always late. Jordan moves to get up, already feeling like she’s choking on all the words she needs to say to you to fix this, but is stopped by a firm grip around her wrist. She’s about to snap when she realizes it’s Cate, taking up your usual spot in the seat that isn’t up for grabs because it’s Your Seat.

“Don’t make the situation worse. She just wants to go to class. Don’t hound her, Jordan.”

“Hound her?” Jordan’s voice raises, incredulous. “She’s my girlfriend. I need to talk to her.”

“You need to apologize.” Cate bites. “Dick.”

“That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped me.” Jordan speaks through gritted teeth.

“How about you try apologizing after she’s done all her classes? That way, when you inevitably upset her, she doesn’t hole herself up in her room all day crying. And feel bad about missing class on top of it. You know… the way she spent all of yesterday?”

“She cried all day?” Jordan’s shoulders sag, voice getting smaller.

Cate softens, patting Jordan’s hand. “It’s not just about you, and you know that. Triggers like this really fuck with people. And she’s also pissed that she’s triggered in the first place. Let her cool off.”

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He makes it a few hours before he’s trailing after you.

He can tell by the tension in the line of your spine that you know he’s there. But you don’t outright tell him to get lost, so Jordan can’t stop himself from following you around. Even if you don’t want him there.

He sits across from you as you study in the library. Makes puppy dog eyes at you the entire time. He can’t be bothered to unpack his bag. It’d be useless to pretend he’ll do anything besides watching you.

Two hours in, he gets up and leaves, hating the way your shoulders relax as he turns to go.

He comes back twenty minutes later with your favorite foods and drink from the best local coffee shop. You don’t reach for any of it. He’s always loved how stubborn you are, how you stick to your ideas. Your principles. How steadfastly you make up your mind. Right now he’s just a little terrified of that same stubbornness. Remembers when you’d only been friends, that first year of peeling one another open, feeling each other out.

(“I’ll never do it, Jordan.” You’d whispered vehemently, drunk and mad and beautiful.

“Do what?”

“Be with anyone who tries to fucking cow me into submission. It’s fucked. I won’t do it. I’ve had enough of it.”

You’d passed the bottle you’d just had pressed to your lips and Jordan had tried not to think too hard about it, even when he tasted the remnants of your sticky, sweet lip gloss beneath the vodka.)

He doesn’t get up to leave again until you do.

Jordan walks you to your dorm, but trails a few steps behind you. He tried walking directly beside you at first, but your hands brushed together and the look you gave him was cold enough to freeze blood.

So-

-behind it is.

Jordan doesn’t get the chance to say goodnight before you slam the door in his face as loudly as possible.

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Jordan doesn’t push her luck by trying to walk you to your classes the next morning. She does wake up extra early to buy you the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers she could find. She leaves them outside your door and goes to class, hoping you’ll at least acknowledge her, the next time you see her.

During your first shared class of the day you walk in holding the bouquet of flowers. Jordan perks up in her seat, holding her breath. You do finally look at her. You make direct eye contact as you throw the flowers into the trash can at the teacher’s desk.

Jordan does not break her pen in half when Andre whispers “yikes” under his breath.

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Two more days and Jordan feels like he’s going insane. He knows you feel worse. One glance at the carefully nonchalant expression you’ve worn all week tells him that. Putting on a mask is nothing for you. That look is the first thing you learned how to do in the top ten.

You’d never hidden the way you felt around him before. Not like this. His skin keeps buzzing with the urge to corner you. Jordan needs the two of you to talk about what happened. But he’s already walking the world’s thinnest line.

And he knows he can’t force you, if you’re not ready.

Another thing he knows: when you’re this upset you don’t clean. Simultaneously, when your room gets messy your depression gets worse. He skips one of your mutual classes of the day and lets himself into your dorm with the key you gave him during first year.

Jordan looks around, wincing at the chaos. You never let it get this bad. Not even during your most soul crushing finals. He starts by throwing away the trash. The tissues you wiped your tears with. The takeout containers. Pages of your notebooks you ripped out, carelessly thrown around the room. You take awful notes in class when you’re distracted. He hates that he’s distracting you.

He wipes down every surface with your favorite scented cleaner. Dusts your books. Sweeps and mops. Changes your sheets and grabs the brightest, happiest color comforter you have stashed in your closet to put on the bed. As he adjusts the pillows he thinks about how often you spend the night at each other’s dorms. Jordan wonders if you’ve been struggling to sleep like he has.

He hesitates, but goes to his room down the hall to grab his cologne. He spritzes it lightly over the bed and hopes you still find the way he smells comforting.

Next is your laundry. He starts up a few loads, irons and puts away the clothes that were sitting in a wrinkled heap on your couch. You’ve always hated doing your laundry.

He’s heading back to your room, a full laundry basket of clean clothes under each arm when you run into each other.

“Are those my clothes?” You ask, forgetting that you aren’t exactly speaking to him in your moment of confusion.

“Yeah… I’m… I was cleaning my room. Doing some stuff. Figured I’d do a few of your loads too, while I’m already at it.” He shoots for casualness, knows he fails miserably.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You say, words stiff and uncomfortable.

“I know I just…” Jordan shrugs, relieved to be standing within a few feet of you after days of silence, and feeling pathetic over how happy something so small makes him. “Why don’t you go get something to eat with Cate while I finish up here?”

“Finish up what?” You ask.

“I still gotta put these away.”

You sigh, wanting the conversation to end, “You don’t have to put my clothes away, Jordan. Or wash them. I’m quite capable of doing it myself.”

Jordan takes a step back when you make a reach for one of the baskets under his arms. “I know that! Just let me do it. Doing your laundry always pisses you off. I’ve got it.”

A battle of wills ignited. You, staring him down. Jordan, trying not to squirm. He wants to try apologizing again but doesn’t know if he’ll only make it worse.

“Please, baby? Go somewhere nice with Cate. My treat.” He puts down a laundry basket (behind him, so you can’t take it) to grab his phone from his pocket, and does something you can’t see.

When you hear the particular chime your banking app makes when you get a Zelle deposit you roll your eyes. You don’t bother checking your phone and seeing how much he sent. You know it’s too much. But if you say anything he’ll just say you and Cate have expensive tastes (which…true.)

“Maybe you can catch a movie too? I still gotta finish up with your bathroom.”

“Jordan.”

“Just,” Jordan shifts, putting down the other laundry basket and slowly reaching out to grab your hand with hers. She could almost cry when you let her touch you. “I know you’re fucking pissed at me. And I know you’re still too upset to talk about it. But…. fuck, please just let me take care of you. Please. I have to do something. I can’t just sit around, after I made you feel like this. It’s driving me nuts. I’m supposed to-”

You stop her, putting a hand on her cheek and sighing, “Okay, Jordan. I’ll go hang out with Cate while you finish.”

“Don’t ‘hang out’, go get dinner. You haven’t eaten all day.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.” She says, sullen and staring up at you, playing with your fingers while you’re still letting her touch you, the first time in days.

“I’ll head to Cate’s.”

“Nah, head to Luke’s. They’re studying together right now.” Jordan takes a risk, stepping into your space slowly, giving you the time to move away. She leans in and kisses your cheek, gentle. When you don’t move away she can’t help herself, kisses the edge of your lips too.

You don’t kiss her back, but you give her hand a squeeze as you pull away. You stop halfway down the hall before you turn back to look at Jordan. “Call Cate and tell her she better not be fucking Luke by the time I get to his dorm.”

Jordan laughs. Your face is a little more relaxed as you turn away this time.

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On Friday the group goes out to the club. They chose one of your favorite haunts, hoping it would entice you enough to join. You still declined the invitation. Everyone knew you would. They still wanted to try.

You claimed you had a lot of work to catch up on.

“She hates me. She fucking hates me.” Jordan groans into his hands, already three drinks and two shots in.

“Well, let’s not panic.” Luke says.

“Or be dramatic.” Andre snorts, taking a shot of his own. “You two are obsessed with each other. Relax.”

“Relax?!” Jordan tenses, “My girl won’t fucking talk to me. How am I supposed to relax?”

“She talked to you yesterday.” Andre drawls.

“That wasn’t anything. We usually-”

“-Spend every free second of the day together? We know.” Luke teases. When Jordan doesn’t even smile he winces and slides him another shot.

“She’s not even that mad. She’s more upset than anything.” Cate says, cuddling into Luke’s side.

Jordan’s eyes follow the movement and he swallows at the distinct lack of your own weight leaning into him. You always get touchy when you’re tipsy. Climbing on top of him, clinging to him like glue. It’s his favorite part of nights out together. That and the playful booing you guys get from the group.

Andre cuts back in, “I’m serious, dude. Relax! You guys have been together for how long now-”

“Three years.”

“-yeah, exactly. Since the fucking building of the pyramids. You two will be fine. She knows you didn’t mean anything by it. One fight won’t kill you.”

“This wasn’t a fight, though. I fucked up! You didn’t see the look on her face. When she used her powers… I mean, fuck! You know? She was scared of me.”

“You know that’s not true, Jordan.” Luke protests.

Jordan runs his hands through his hair, ruining the carefully slicked back style.

“Let’s just get you another drink. Come on, dude.” Andre wraps an arm around Jordan, hauling him to his feet and pulling him towards the bar.

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You get woken up by the sound of knocking on your door. Loud knocking. You keep your eyes closed, hoping whoever it is will go away. You don’t even want to be awake. Let alone socializing.

The knocking gets louder. Exhausted, you drag yourself out of bed. You glance at your phone on the bedside table as you get up. It’s three in the morning. Now you’re exhausted and pissed.

You stomp over to the door, wrenching it open, prepared to cuss someone out. You deflate when you see who it is. “Oh, hey.”

Jordan is leaning heavily on the door frame, staring at you with watery, red eyes. She looks like the walking dead. “Baby. Fuck, did I wake you up? I thought you’d still be awake. You said you were pulling an all-nighter.”

“I was tired. Just wanted to sleep.” You shrug. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Still at the club, took an uber back. Too fucked up for anything else.” She mutters.

“That’s good, Jordan.” You say.

“You haven’t called me Jordan since freshman year. What happened to Jordie?” She sighs.

Your face softens. “Baby…”

“No, wait, just let me…” Jordan leans her forehead against the door-frame, closing her eyes tight. “I’m sorry. I fucked up big time. I’m sorry that when I get pissed I take it out on everyone around me. I’m sorry that I don’t fucking listen when you’re just trying to make me feel better. I’m sorry I yelled… I’m sorry I shift-”

“Whoa, hey.” You cut her off, shocked. “You shifting isn’t the problem, Jordan. Fuck, come inside, honey.” You say, taking her hand and pulling her inside.

You sit the two of you on the couch, clicking on the light so you can see each other. You move so you’re facing each other, pulling her hands into your lap. “First off let’s set one thing straight. You shifting is never the problem, okay?”

“You got so fucking scared.” Jordan looks away, hair falling into her face.

“Not of you.. Just the fucking… optics of it! I don’t ever want you to be something you’re not. And you’ve got the incredible gift of being able to be whatever you feel like being any time you want to.” You reach out and touch her cheek, guiding her to look at you, “I don’t want you to not do that. I wouldn’t ever want you not to do that, okay?”

“Okay.” She says. There’s a moment of silence, then Jordan shifts. He looks for any sign of fear or hesitation, holding his breath. When he doesn’t see any he relaxes. “But I scared you so bad you used your powers.”

“Yeah, that did happen.” You nod, caressing his cheek with your thumb, “Maybe it’s just a little scary when someone bigger and stronger than me starts yelling like that. Also, invulnerable. Let’s not forget that. Food for thought.”

He closes his eyes, “I’m an idiot.”

“For yelling at me? Yeah, just a little. Don’t yell at me like that no matter what form you’re in. That's always scary. Couples talk. They don’t yell. Most of the time. We can’t be the couple that does that.”

“I’ll never yell like that again. Either form. I promise.” Jordan says, “Can I hold you? It’s been a fucking week. I’m losing my mind.”

You laugh, climbing into his lap and Jordan sighs, wrapping his arms around you as tightly as he can. He tucks your head into his neck. “I missed you like fucking crazy.”

“Missed you too.” You sigh, “Stay the night?”

“You’re not leaving my sight for the next two months.” He laughs, pulling you closer.

“Only two months? That’s fucked up, I thought you missed me.” You tease.

“Shut up.” He scoffs, kissing the side of your head.

You snuggle closer, letting the tension of the week drift away.

“You yell at me like that again and your only hope is being invulnerable, actually. I’ll put you through a wall.” You kiss his shoulder cheerfully.

“I’d do it before you got the chance.”

You burst into laughter and he pulls your head away from his shoulder so he can see you the way you’re supposed to look around him. Happy. Content. He can’t stop himself from kissing you. You can’t stop yourself from kissing back.

#jordan li x reader #jordan li imagine #jordan li #gen v x reader #black!reader #first full jordan li fic! super fun to right nonny i am kissing you on the mouth this was INSPIRING #if you see any grammar or spelling errors no you don't lmao

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jishyucks · 10 months

Text

Bittersweet ‣ csb

‣ pairing: choi soobin x reader

‣ genre: fluff, implied f2l, 'drunken confessions' cliche

‣ wc: 2.6k

‣ summary: in which a very drunk soobin is not afraid to tell you how he truly feels about you

‣ warnings?: soobin is (really) drunk, sorta really cliche but I like cliches, mentions of reader being shorter than Soobin

‣ an: first soobin fic huhhh?? this is a product of my severe itch to write, so it's something short but sweet! idk how good this is but I guarantee something cute ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

There was a bittersweet feeling behind waking up in daze. On one hand, you knew you had enjoyed a good, deep sleep, leaving you blissfully unaware of the world. But on the other hand, that same grogginess leaves you clueless about what had transpired while you were out like a light.

But in this case, you could say that it was a lot more bitter than it was sweet, all because you were woken up from your phone being blown up by four different boys for no clear reason. In fact, if every single missed call and text message had rendered heat through your phone, you’re one-hundred-percent sure that it would have been blown to bits by now.

You sit up, head throbbing and fuzzy from the sudden change in position, and tap on the most recent caller. It was Beomgyu.

“Y/N! Finally!” You hear him sigh through the line. In the background, you can hear the other boys’ voices, accompanied by the bass of a song you couldn’t quite name.

Your brows furrow, blinking away the sleep. “Gyu? What’s up? Are you guys okay? I was taking a nap.” The mix of confusion and curiosity wakes you up.

There’s more ruckus on the other side of the line and you’re tempted to yell out for them to spill, only you’re sure that they’re not going to hear anything. You glance over at your clock through your pitch-black room and find that you’ve slept through dinner. It was nearing midnight. This only feeds your curiosity.

“Y/N are you able to come to where we are right now?” Yeonjun’s taken over the phone. There’s urgency in his voice and now you’re worried, “We’re at a club downtown.”

“Downtown?” You groan, “I’m not sure if…” To be fair, you’ve just woken up and now you’re being requested to drive down to the city on a Friday night? You were in no mood to—

“It’s Soobin.”

“Soobin? What happened?” You shoot questions, “Is he okay? What is he even doing at a club?” That should’ve been your first question. Soobin wasn’t one to tag along on trips to the club. Usually, he and Kai would opt to visit an internet cafe while the others drank like their lives depended on it.

“We’re… not sure,” Yeonjun retorts, “But he’s just asking for you. If we touch him, he starts yelling and there’s no way we’re getting accused of anything.” You hear a familiar voice start screaming in the background and then you hear Yeonjun’s voice scold someone, “Beomgyu, I literally told you not to touch him until Y/N’s here… I’ll send you the location?”

“Go for it,” you say. At this point you’re already grabbing whatever hoodie you can find and you’re making your way down the stairs, “I’ll meet you guys there.” Yeonjun sighs out a relieved ‘thank you’ before ending the call.

You hastily slip on your shoes and grab your car keys, your mind racing with concern for Soobin. The drive to downtown feels like an eternity as you navigate through the city streets, trying to make sense of the situation. The club they mentioned is known for its loud music and lively atmosphere, and you can't help but wonder what Soobin, usually the reserved and introverted one, is doing there.

Finally, you arrive at the club and park your car nearby. At this hour in the night, you don’t even bat an eye at the parking meter sitting right next to your car. As you step out onto the bustling sidewalk, the thumping bass and muffled laughter spill out from the club's entrance. A small part of you is afraid to even go in, but as you take a deep breath, you prepare yourself for whatever awaits you inside.

The club's neon lights cast an eerie glow on the people entering and exiting, almost creating a movie-like atmosphere. The first thing you notice in the second you enter is the change in humidity. The place was stuffy and filled with people. You felt sticky even though you haven’t been there for an entire minute and you didn’t like it.

With your heart pounding, you make your way through the crowd, following Yeonjun’s text that indicated they were at the far corner of the club. You’re relieved to see that it was in a quieter area of the club, away from the pulsating music and dancing bodies.

Taehyun notices you first, being the most sober out of all of them, he waves you over, calling out your name despite it being drowned out by the music. The other three look over, waves of relief washing over their faces when they realize that you’ve finally arrived.

As you reach the boys, they part to reveal a very drunk Soobin. He sits hunched over a table, his left arm propping up his head while his right hand draws doodles on the surface before him. He looks almost identical to a child being babysat.

“He said he wasn’t going to drink,” Taehyun explains, “Before we knew it he was all… like this.” He gestures to Soobin, scratching his temple.

You’re compelled to palm your face, sighing, “Is he sobering up, at least?”

Kai shakes his head, eyes wide, “No. He keeps finding ways to get more drinks.”

“Yeah, he finished all mine,” Beomgyu pouts. He was sitting across from Soobin, arms crossed. There’s a line of empty glasses sitting right in front of him as evidence, “We’re just glad you’re here though. We were being serious about this.” You watch Beomgyu reach out to touch Soobin’s elbow with his index finger. Right at contact, Soobin scowls and starts yelling as if Beomgyu had just threatened to slice his skin with his fingernail, “He’s been doing that all night. He keeps asking for you, too.”

“He’s so far gone that he doesn’t even realize you’re here,” Yeonjun remarks, blinking at Soobin. "Hey, Soobin!" Soobin's ears perk up at the sound of his name, and he turns his head towards you, resembling a curious meerkat.

Soobin’s eyes meet yours and his face lights up, “Y/N, you’re here!” The lanky boy pushes himself off the table and tries to regain his balance before stumbling over to you. Without hesitation, you rush to his side and throw his arm around your shoulder, attempting to steady him. Being shorter than him, you're not sure if it's working perfectly, but you do your best to provide support.

You suck your teeth, “Choi Soobin, who told you to drink this much? Why aren’t you letting the boys help you?”

Soobin’s in a daze. He's not really catching on to the fact that you're talking to him. All he sees is your lips moving as you scold him. He reaches out to poke your neck and then your cheek.

“I guess it’s a good sign that he isn’t screaming,” Yeonjun points out, “Let’s go, then?”

You nod and then jut your head toward Soobin, “Can you help me out with him?”

Yeonjun gives you a nod and moves over to grab Soobin's other arm, assuming that he would no longer scream. But the moment his hand touches Soobin, he starts yelling just as expected. “Okay! Okay!” Yeonjun steps back and gives Soobin a blank stare, completely done with the younger boy.

You stifle a laugh, “Binnie, can you let Yeonjun help me please?” Soobin nods and watches Yeonjun repeat his actions, taking his arm to support him. This time he doesn’t start yelling.

The six of you navigate through the crowd, keeping your gaze fixed on the exit at the far end of the room. Once you finally make it outside, you direct everyone down the street, gesturing towards the direction to go, "My car's parked over there."

They simply nod and follow you, piling into your car without hesitation as you all get ready to leave. Soobin’s slumped in the passenger’s seat, his head wobbling side to side. He’s muttering words under his breath but you can’t quite make them out.

You’re driving them back to their house, which was conveniently on the way back to your home. Everyone was too exhausted to make small talk, so a playlist you’ve chosen and Soobin’s murmuring fills the silence.

“Thanks, Y/N.” Taehyun speaks up as you near their house. From where his voice was coming from, you can tell he was sitting directly behind you, “We owe you.”

“It’s nothing,” You hum, “I’m just… trying to figure out why Soobin got drunk today. It’s out of character.” You knew your best friend, Soobin, inside out. He was the kind of person who would take a sip of alcohol and be satisfied, not really needing more than that. But then again, he could have just wanted to do it for fun. He didn’t need a reason to drink.

“I think it’s because Taehyun gave him a drink that tasted nothing like alcohol,” Beomgyu says, “Then it went downhill from there.”

“You’re so nice, Y/N~” Soobin giggles, “You’re so so so so nice! The nicest of all persons I know.” He points out the window and continues, “See? You’re driving us to our house! That’s so nice! That’s why I really like you.”

You breath hitches in your throat, eyes widening at Soobin’s comment. Unbeknownst to you, the other boys exchange alarmed glances, silently pleading for Soobin to stop before he reveals more than he intends to.

“You’re a funny drunk, Binnie,” you say, trying to swat the comment away, regardless of the meaning. You turn into their street and park along the curb once you’ve reached their house.

Soobin pouts, his expression displaying a mix of confusion and disappointment. "Funny how?" he persists, his drunken state causing his emotions to be more apparent.

You quickly recover, mustering a playful smile to cover up any potential awkwardness. "Just funny in the way you talk and act," you reply, hoping to divert his attention from his previous statement.

Soobin's pout slowly turns into a small grin, satisfied with your response. "I guess that's a good thing," he muses, his words slightly slurred. "As long as I can make you laugh, Y/N. I like when I make you laugh. I like seeing your pretty smile."

Your heart skips a beat and you quickly turn the car off. Has Soobin always been a flirty drunk? You try to shrug it off, getting out to help the drunk boy from his seat. The others are already out of the vehicle and Yeonjun’s waiting for you to pull Soobin out of his side.

You open the door and a pout has returned on Soobin’s face, “You keep ignoring me… Do you not like me?” Yeonjun tries to speak to Soobin using his eyes, but obviously, with the intoxicated state that Soobin is in, the signals completely fly past his head.

You groan, helping him up, “Let’s get you some water before you go to bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed,” Soobin whines. He looks over at the older boy and frowns, “I don’t need your help.” He shrugs Yeonjun off and uses both of his arms to cling onto yours. Yeonjun lets the boy be, walking ahead to hold the door open for the both of you.

Soobin kicks his sneakers off out of habit, shifting a bit of his weight onto you in the process, “Do you want to play animal crossing or mario kart or—”

“Soobin, you need to go to sleep,” you say, “We can play tomorrow.” Together, you both ascend the stairs and eventually arrive at Soobin's room. He sighs at the sight of his bed, plopping onto his neatly fixed bed. The intoxicated boy lays down with his legs hanging off the edge. He swings them playfully and you can’t help but giggle at his state. You’ve rarely seen Soobin drunk, but now you know that when he’s drunk, he was like a 6-foot-tall toddler.

You turn to grab water, but you’re met with Kai, who was already at Soobin’s door with a cup filled to the brim, “Do you want anything, Y/N?”

You thank him and think, “Maybe tea would be nice before I leave.”

He nods, “I’ll prepare that for you.”

You thank him again and bring the water to Soobin, who is now sitting up. He's slumped over, head looking too heavy for him to handle, “Drink up.”

Soobin squints at the beverage, leaning forward as if he were trying to read the non-existent writing on the glass. "Water is boring. I want... yakult and sprite... with soju," he declares, giggling at the thought of alcohol. As amusing as it is to see him so enthusiastic about alcohol, you shake your head in disagreement.

“That’s fair,” you sigh, “But I know you’ll regret not drinking this when you wake up tomorrow with a bad headache.” You urge him to take the cup. And after a few moments of deciding, he sighs and shakily takes the cup from you.

Soobin takes a few long sips before he looks up at you, his gaze intense. "Don't... don't tell you that I told you this, but..." He glances around cautiously to make sure no one else is listening, "But... I love how you always look out for me." His words hold a hint of vulnerability, as if the alcohol has loosened his inhibitions enough to reveal his true feelings, “You take care of me, too. And…” Soobin takes another sip of his water and smiles.

You wait for him to continue but he looks up at you, waiting for a response, “Well, it’s what friends do.” You don’t even need to think twice when it comes to Soobin.

"Friends," he repeats, almost as if testing out the word on his lips. "Yeah, we're friends, right?"

You raise an eyebrow at his question, finding it slightly odd that he would question your friendship. "Of course. We've been friends for a long time," you reassure him.

Soobin chugs down the rest of the water and holds the cup out for you to take, “You’re right… but…”

You gently take the empty cup from him, setting it aside. The need for sleep is finally reaching Soobin’s eyes and you can see the way his eyes flutter shut before he forces them open. He scooches closer to his pillow and pouts. You give him the look for him to continue.

“Don’t tell you I told you this but…” he repeats his actions from earlier, looking around, “I think I have feelings for you.” A giggle slips out of his lips and he nods in satisfaction.

You freeze in place and blink at the drunk boy in front of you, “Soobin, you’re drunk.”

He shakes his head, eyes half closed and practically begging him to sleep, “I just drank water, I’m not drunk!”

“You are,” you sigh, trying to dismiss his earlier confession.

“I…may be drunk, but I still have feelings!”

He’s right. When you’re drunk, your emotions are simply amplified, but they are still your real emotions. Surely, this could be the case with Soobin. But then again, not everyone was the same when they were intoxicated, “Soobin, I’ll make a promise with you, okay?”

At this point, he’s being lulled to sleep by the alcohol, but he still nods and his words are coming out mumbled, “A promise?”

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow. When you’re sober and when I’m not tired. I want to hear what you have to say.” And, frankly, you had things (that were far overdue) to say too.

“Promise?”

The moment feels dreamlike, standing in Soobin's room with him being so vulnerable and open about his feelings (even if it could be the alcohol talking). You can't help but wonder if he'll remember any of this in the morning.

You nod. “Now go to sleep, dumbass. I know you want to.”

“I do,” He laughs, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Binnie.”

°•. ✿ .•°

on to another story ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ if I'm able to miraculously think of something... anyways thank you for reading! pls support the post by leaving a like/rb!

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meatballsu · 7 months

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I have rewatched TADC many times recently and I come up with many interesting theories about Ragatha (My favorite) and I think it is great to share them here.

Theory: Ragtha is kinda on Caine’s side, or at least she is the person who always “giving”.

This isn’t intend to propose that Caine and Ragatha are “bad” or something. I’m not sure if anyone is watching the GenV series (Spoilers alert!)

and I think Ragatha is sorta a role like Kate that supports the Caine.

One thing is that when Caine is stopped by Pomni questioning about how do they leave, Ragatha immediately takes the question with a little stuttering opening, like she helps Caine when the AI is malfunctioned.

Another thing is she apologized to Pomni when glitching, says Pomni had a bad day, it looks like Ragatha took the responsibility that she should take care of the newbies.

I also noticed a very interesting detail about Ragatha's motion design. I collected all the clips of she approaching while people remaining steady. You know it usually means this person is a sacrificer in relationships.

Even when she is not in a good mood about Pomni's “abandon” . Ragatha still approaches and stands by her side.

This gives me the feeling that Caine may have demanded or asked her for help to care the new "sucker".

Additionally, the Kaufmo part also striked me a little. (It may turns out to be simply the pilot needs and my overthinking. But consider I have to wait for months to expect a new episode so why not brain storm.)

So Ragatha is the person who promts to check Kaufmo:

Ragatha: Oh, wait, we should go check on Kaufmo. And I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni.

While Kinger refuses the idea and says:

I think Kaufmo's gone insane. Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit.

After they went to the carpet, Ragatha mentioned that:

Well, we usually do, when we first arrive, but after a while you start to realize that you really can't leave and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a bit crazy. And eventually you get to asking what the point of anything is and you completely lose sight of who you are and why you're even alive and when you reach your breaking point something really terrible can happen.

When she saw the abstracted Kaufmo and she stuttered that the creature might be the “terrible thing” refered to what she said before.

At this time I think we can assume that:

Ragatha knows the pursuing exits could drive people to the breaking point.

Ragatha knows people who breaks will happen terrible things.

Ragatha knows by Kinger (who is unresponisive but still noticed somthing wrong) that Kaufmo is unstable recently.

Ragatha knows what “abstract” is, and someone( people who came earlier than her or Caine) kept warnig/brainwashing her that “ Don’t overthink about exist or terrible thing gonna happen”.

Why Ragatha wants to take Pomni to go check on Kaufmo even she knows he is in a unstable situation?

I think it can be explained that:

She wants to form a stonger colleague relationship with Pomni by taking her to meet the used-to-be-frindely Kaufmo (who liked to tell jokes). or—

She wants to warn Pomni by letting her see “the terrible thing” to stop her from thinking about exit.

By going through all this points, I feel that Ragatha is the most positive on the concept about “No exist”. It looks like she tries hard to prove that there is no way out.

This point is also supported by Caine. And Ragatha hints in a non-obvious way through the pilot that Caine treats them with good intention:

The official site introduces the series with:

So nevertheless, I think Ragatha is still a trapped victim, and the pilot seems to show that she grows a bit Stockholm syndrome and stands by Caine’s side to defend her sanity. That's why she is described as the sweetest optimist.

ps:

I find Jax's different attitude is intersting when Ragatha and Kinger mentioned their daily routine:

Jax didn't comment on Ragatha explaining their useless sleep routine.

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #ragatha #kinger #pomni #caine #jax #tadc theory

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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WIBTA For Pushing My Boyfriend To Quit Smoking?

My (25F) boyfriend (23M) smokes and vapes tobacco/nicotine and weed everyday. He's tried to quit it all multiple times, both before and during our relationship, with no lasting success.

He knows just cutting himself off cold turkey would be a bad idea, so normally he tries to incrementally decrease the amounts he smokes/vapes in the hopes of eventually not doing it at all, but after a week or two he always goes back to the way he was before.

We talked about why he was having trouble with quitting, and he said that the withdrawals A) make him extremely irritable, and he knows that that makes him sorta unpleasant, and doesn't want other people to have to deal with his bad moods, B) worsen his IBS, which makes it nearly impossible for him to eat, and C) he liked to social aspect. Until recently, all of our friends, smoked almost, if not just as much as him (but now most of them have either cut back immensely, or quit all together). At every hang out they spent a lot of time smoking together (I've never particularly enjoyed it as much they did, but did join in occasionally), and it's still ine of the ways he makes new friends.

Despite all that, a few months ago he told me that he wanted to get really serious about it, so he went to the doctor and got some prescription patches.

He wore the patches for about 3 days (the prescription was for 15 days), said they weren't working, and gave up. Since then he started mentioning wanting to quit less and less, until now he doesn't talk about it at all.

On the one hand I'm a big believer in "adults should be allowed to do whatever as long as no one else gets hurt", and I don't want to come across as controlling. On the other, I'm extremely worried about him. He's coughing constantly, he can't seem to have fun doing anything unless he has nicotine or weed with him, he'll stop in the middle of whatever we're doing to rummage through his pockets or his bag to look for his vape or his pen or his cigarettes or weed or a cigar, etc. And when I say he'll stop in the middle of anything, I mean anything.

On top of all that, my dad had substance abuse issues in the past, and it was a major problem. He was a heavy smoker and a heavy drinker, and he almost died. So substance abuse and chemical dependency is a big deal to me. I have told my boyfriend about that, and he did make some changes for my sake (he used to be more of a drinker too, but has since successfully cut back on alcohol quite a bit), but I think maybe he doesn't realize just how big a deal it is to me.

I lie awake at night worried that he's gonna get lung cancer.

He said that he wants to quit, and I want to help, but I don't know how to do that without just nagging him about it, and I don't think he'd respond to that well.

WIBTA for getting more pushy and vocal about how much I want him to quit, or should I leave it and let him figure it out on his own?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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nights-at-crystarium · 2 months

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on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.

#personal #text post #nextlvl rambles

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modmad · 2 months

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Question? No question; just appreciation! I kinda sorta quit tumblr since like 2015 and have recent hopped back on the platform - seeing that you're still working on TPoH is mind-blowing I have sooooo many updates to catch up on the last thing I remember is the knife-birds (it's...been a long time). I just wanted to say you're an inspiration and I look forward to diving back into the comic and seeing just how things have changed! Cheers, keep up the good work, and RGB has continued to live rent-free in my head the whole time I've been away he's such a mood. Laters!

welcome back! and thank you, I'm just hoping that I can keep going until I finish the damn (beloved) thing :'D

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sabo-has-my-heart · 4 months

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Hello I’m sorta new to ur blog and I would like to request an emergency request!

I don’t really know how it works so if there’s something I didn’t or did do wrong please ignore this!

I’ve recently caught myself having suicidal thoughts since I really do not like the pain of losing a loved one and think it’s better dying then ever experiencing it again. It sounds selfish but I can’t help thinking about it. It’s weird since for me the feeling of losing someone is way more strong then I think it is for other people and I know people around me will feel sad about me being gone but I tell myself what’s the point if I’m dead anyway. It’s a very selfish and selfless way of thinking and I know that, if you do not feel comfortable with this. Again please ignore this,

But how would law and sanji react to their fem! Partner having these thoughts?

Thank you and have an amazing day:)

First things first, let me say that my heart goes out to you. Second thing, please, please, please go see someone and get some help. I know it's probably hard or perhaps not what you want to hear, but please.

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, emergency request, mentions of death

Word Count: 1405

They were gone. How could they be gone? How could they be… how could they be dead? Feeling the tears run down your cheeks, you curled your fingers in your hair. Part of you knew that death was part of the job. It came with being a pirate, but to be honest, you’d never actually, truly thought about it. Something that was in the back of your mind but never something that was really real. You just wanted to die; better to die than to experience somebody else dying, right? Better to end things than to have to experience this pain again. Worse yet, watching everyone else go about doing things, it felt like you were the only one mourning. Did they not feel their death? They looked sad, but how could they just continue to go about their lives? Continue to work like they were? You didn’t even hear the door open, didn’t notice your partner looking at you with such sympathy and sadness. He’d noticed your change in mood, in attitude, and it had worried him a little, but now seeing you curled up on the floor, he was more worried than ever.

Sanji

The blond walked over to you, sitting down next to you before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you out of your thoughts as he carefully maneuvered you into his lap.

“I’ve been looking for you, ma cherie. Why are you hiding such beauty away in here?” he asked softly, placing one hand on the back of your head, stroking your head as he pressed your head against his chest to listen to his heart. All you could do was shake your head as the tears turned into full sobs. His arms wrapped tighter around you, trying to make out your words through your bawling. Finally making out what you were saying caused his heart to break. You were in so much pain. He wouldn’t lie and say that he was unaffected, but seeing how hard it was hitting you, he wished that he was more affected so that you would be less affected; to take away your pain, even if it meant taking it on himself. It reminded him of when he lost his mother, the pain stabbing at his heart, bleeding his young heart dry.

His lips met your forehead as he cradled you close, cooing gently as he tried to comfort you. Admittedly, he felt a little bad that he hadn’t noticed the severity sooner, but he also thanked the heavens that he noticed it when he did; noticed it before things went too far.

“It’ll be okay, mon amour, I’m here, I’ll stay here by your side and help you get through this, okay? I know it hurts, but please, please don’t… don’t do… that. I couldn’t live without you, you’re my entire world. Whatever you need, I’ll get it for you, just… please, I… don’t do that. And remember, I’m always here. You can come to me anytime, whatever you need. Please just… stay, for me?” he pleaded, tears starting to make their way down his cheeks. He didn’t want to make you feel worse, but it hurt him so much that you were even considering such a thing. You were his everything, his light, his love, he couldn’t bear to be without you.

“Please, please, please… don’t… don’t do anything, don’t leave me. You can call me selfish if you want, let me be the selfish one and ask you to stay. You… you’re too sweet, too kind, to be selfish like that. So let me be the selfish one and ask you to never leave my side.” He pleaded, nuzzling his face into the top of your head. Clutching his shirt as if your life depended on it, you could only nod, still sobbing. He didn’t know how long he stayed with you like that, only that Luffy had started screaming for him about lunch. Glancing down at you, his brow furrowed. You’d cried yourself to sleep. Carefully picking you up, he moved you to his bed before storming out to his captain.

“Luffy! Shut up! Y/n is sleeping and I don’t need you waking her up. I swear, if you wake her up, I’ll throw all the meat on the Sunny over the side of the ship!” Sanji threatened, making the boy’s eyes widen and nod. Sighing, he paused, “She’s taking this hard, just… let me take care of her for a little while. Just until she’s better.” Sanji requested, watching as his captain nodded again. He’d be there for you as long as you needed, anything to make sure you were okay.

Law

Being a doctor and being your partner always, always made things hard for him. When did he draw the line? Where did he stop and go “I’m a doctor and you need to take these meds”? At what point should he stop holding you close and instead get you a therapist? Standing here in front of you, he pondered this even more. Should he approach you as your partner or your doctor? Doctor or partner, doctor or partner? Taking a deep breath, he picked you up, drawing a surprised gasp as he ‘shambles’ed you both to his room, laying down on his bed with you and holding you close.

“If you needed to cry, you should have come to me.” Law said awkwardly, running his hand up and down your back, letting you cling to him. You were silent for a moment, not entirely sure what you should say. Finally you mumbled out what was wrong, the words muffled in his chest. His brow furrowed, his hand on your back halting for a moment. Doctor or partner, doctor or partner?

“You… I want… I want you to see someone about this… I need to know if you need to be medicated long term for depression.” he said after a minute. He was your partner, but he was also a doctor. This would be the best option for both sides. As a doctor, he wanted what was best for your health, as your partner, he wanted you to be okay. This would help you be okay… right? Laying there, the man grew nervous by your silence. Were you mad at him for suggesting it? Were you going to turn him down? Or worse, close yourself off? Finally, thankfully, you nodded. He was a doctor, he loved you, he’d know what was best for you, right? Sure, you wanted to die, but… but Law knew what to do, right? The man sighed in relief, his arms wrapping tighter around you, muttering quiet ‘thank you’s. Fuck, you’d scared him. He couldn’t lose you. He’d lost enough, he couldn’t lose you too, least of all to this, not like this. His family to the World Government, Cora-san to Doflamingo, he couldn’t lose you, not like that.

He couldn’t help but relax ever so slightly, relieved that you listened. You’d be okay, you’d get help and you’d be okay. He’d keep a close eye on you and you’d be okay, he’d make sure of it. It would take a while, he knew it would take a while, but you would be okay. Okay, he didn’t actually know that for certain, but with as scared as he was, he needed to tell himself that, he needed that reassurance that you wouldn’t leave him. Just like you, he couldn’t experience that again. Too many times had he seen that, he couldn’t do it again. Cuddling you closer, he breathed in your scent, as if trying to memorize it, as if he was still going to lose you. It was only now that you realized how much he was trembling, the realization dawning on you. He couldn’t lose anyone else again, just like you, he’d rather die than experience that again. It made you wonder how he did it. How did he deal with the crushing weight of knowing he could lose his entire crew yet stay so strong? Maybe… Maybe you could find out; maybe, if you stayed, you could find out and you could be like him, be strong like him. Slowly, your breathing steadied, evening out as you dozed off. Almost as soon as you were asleep, Law was letting the others know to head for the nearest island. He’d get you help asap, because he really couldn’t lose you too.

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cyberkatsworld · 1 month

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Kitze's Intro Post (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

Since I've been getting new followers recently, here's my intro post ^^

୨୧~ My name is Kitze

୨୧~ 5teen but my bday is in October

୨୧~ public diary, girlblogging, and mood boards(reqs open)! sorta like whatever I feel like posting ^^

୨୧~ music: twice, gidle, new jeans, ldr, melanie martinez, gwen stefani, hole, the cure, mcr, mitski, tv girl, fiona apple and so many more !!

୨୧~ hobbies: I don't have the time for hobbies anymore due to school work but if I do have time then reading, making jewelry, making kpop collages, making quizzes, dancing, listening to music(does that count as a hobby??)

୨୧~ don't be afraid to message me/send asks! I love making new friends and I love answering asks ^^

୨୧~ however DNI if you're homophobic, transphobic, ed/nsfw blogs, racist, etc.

enjoy your stay <3

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p3ndeja6 · 1 day

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✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

c.brock x latina! y/n

summary: you moved to LA to be with your long distance boyfriend, you were having a great time, but after a couple of months you started to feel homesick and missed your hometown and your culture

content tags: spanish speaking reader, mexican reader, cultural references, overall a hispanic reader, not proof-read

word count: 1.6k

fluff ❀﹐

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Y/N

I've loved my time here in LA with colby and sam and all their friends but i recently fell in a funk. I miss my family and my friends.

you were scrolling through your photos and snapchat memories of your time in your hometown and started to feel really homesick, you began to cry, you laid back on you side and cried.

you missed your mom's delicious cooking, how she would make handmade tortillas, or her salsa picante. you didnt have that here and nor did anyone make it, you didnt have any hispanic friends in LA. You would only hang out with sam and colby's friends

you liked them but they sometimes including colby didnt understand your jokes or references. it sometimes pained you that you felt out of place around them.

you connected your speaker in the room that was given to you when you first moved to their house, and a song that reminded you of your dad started to play; its your dad's favorite song, and you couldn't control the sadness that flowed through your body

you spent a good two hours just crying and eventually calmed down but you were puffy eyed and your breathing was skipped

you sat up to recollect your self before colby came home and would come in your room, until another song started to play from your playlist, a heart wrenching song that reminded you of your beloved parents.

you started to cry again, you leaned back to the head board and clutched your body as you were singing to the lyrics

Colby came in the room all happy and giddy until he saw you crying

"oh my god! y/n are you okay? are you hurt? does something hurt?"

he was panicking trying to figure out why you were crying.

"no... nothings wrong" you got up quickly and turned around to wipe your face. he also got up to try to look at you but you kept avoiding him until he grabbed you face and made you look at him

"y/n.. somethings wrong, please just tell me"

"you wont understand" "just try me"

you mustered up the courage to tell him the truth. you looked at him and started to tear up again

"i-i just feel... i just started to feel homesick, thats all" colby was relieved that it wasnt anything life threatening

"oh, well why is that?"

"i dont know... i just miss home, like i really do. my family and friends, my culture and the food, everything" you looked at how he felt hurt about how you were talking about missing your family and friends.

"dont get me wrong, i love being here with you, you make being here so bearable but i just miss my people.. thats all" you half smiled

"no.. yeah i get that, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

"no its fine, i just need a couple minutes alone thats all"

"yeah yeah sure... ill be downstairs if you need me alright?"

you kissed him and hugged him tightly, feeling so safe in his arms.

"thank you, i love you"

"i love you too" he walked out and closed the door, feeling terrible that you felt that way, he wished he could do something about your homesickness

COLBY

as i walked back downstairs to sit with sam on the couch, he noticed my upset mood.

"Everything alright dude?" "uh.. yeah its just y/n is feeling homesick and sorta on the verge of going back home"

"oh shit dude, i definitely know what she's feeling" " do you think we've made her not feel at home? you think I haven't made her feel like home?" " i mean we haven't really done anything to make her feel at home"

"shit dude youre right, we haven't, i feel like the worst boyfriend ever. cant even make my girlfriend feel loved or feel like this is her home"

i started to think about ways to make her feel at home, i can cook her favorite food? no its too late for that, its almost 8

"what should i do sam?" "how about you take her to the other side of LA, take her some place authentic, not might be like where she's from but its the closest thing we got"

"yeah yeah you're right, let me go tell her!"

i ran upstairs and came up to her door, softly knocked to let her know i was coming in, she was still there in bed listening to her spanish music.

"hey y/n.. how you holding up?" "hi.. im doing alright, still trying to get my breathing under control" she let out a dry giggle

i caressed her face admiring her glossy eyes and her stained cheeks, leaning down to kiss her on her forehead, " i was thinking-" she sat up "what were you thinking"

"how about i take you out to eat some place special?" "ehh im not in the mood to eat colby" "no cmon i know a place, trust me"

Y/N

he looked at me with pleading eyes, "sure why not"

"alright get reading in ten minutes" "okay" you smiled and got up to get ready, he left the room to let you get dressed

you wore some ripped jeans with your white Mexico world cup jersey, and some black platform converse. added some mascara and some lip balm before leaving you grabbed your purse

you went downstairs and was greeted by colby waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. "hey y/n!"

"hey sam"

"you ready to go babe?"

"yes of course!"

"but before we leave i need you to put this on"

he was holding a blindfold, you looked at him confused and he went behind you to put the blindfold on, you were about to protest before he kissed your cheek and wrapped the blindfold around your eyes

"alright lets go, bye sam!"

you headed out the door, stumbling trying to remember all the steps to get to the car, colby opened the car door and helped you inside.

"was the blindfold really necessary?" "yeah babe, i want to surprise you"

"it wont really be a surprise if we go to in n out" he laughed at the assumption

"how about i put some music on?" "hmm yeah okay" colby connected his phone to the car's bluetooth and a song you recognized easily came on. you started to sing along to song. Colby created a playlist on your favorite spanish-speaking songs. He had to stalk your public Spotify playlist to be able to create the playlist.

"omg i love this song!!" you started to sing the song, pointing the lyrics to Colby not knowing how much of a distraction you are creating for him on the road.

still with the blindfold on you continue to sing all the songs that played, surprised how many spanish songs kept coming on

"omg how do you know these songs?!" "did you stalk my spotify?" you let out a laugh, "gosh y/n no I didn't" yes he did

you laughed at him, knowing well that this is from your playlist, or you thought it was just your playlist he started to play.

"are we there yet?" "no"

"are we there yet now?" "almost"

"what about now?" "actually yeah we are"

"why did it take you so long to drive to in n out if its only a 15 minute drive from the house?"

as you heard opening his side of the door, he rushed over to open your door, "well babe, we arent actually at in n out"

confused, wondering where else he would have taken you

"well.. where are we-" you started to smell the char smell of meat... taco meat.

"omg it smells so good.. where are we..?"

"well let me cross you over the street to find out" "what?"

you started to take off the blindfold until he stopped you, "ah ah ahh, no taking this off yet until i say so" "omg colby where are we"

he guided you across the street, smelling everything. it smelled like home almost, you started to hear the steam of a grill and the music that you grew up listening to. Hearing chatter among people.. in spanish?

"colby... where are we?"

colby finally let go of you and starting to take the blind fold off of you, you adjust to the light and rubbing your eyes a bit to clearly see the scene.

taqueros and vendedores making and selling snacks and meals. hearing them laugh, sing, and speak spanish.

"oh my god.." you said under your breath looking all over, small tears start to well up. "colby.. what is this?"

"i felt really bad that you were feeling homesick, and i hate seeing you cry, so i thought maybe i try to bring home to you... I know this isnt exactly home but i love you so much that i would do anything for you and to show you how much you mean to me, i dont want you to go home, i want to always make you happy y/n"

your tears finally fell, you fully realized how special and loving colby was, you felt so warm and loved.

"Colby... this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, you have no idea how much this means to me, and for you to actually consider this idea really brings me to tears, i am so completely in love with you"

you grabbed his head and kissed him, deepening the kiss and full engulf his lips. you let go and admire his big beautiful eyes.

"gosh.. well cmon lets eat something, what kind of tacos do you want babe?" "ehh i have no clue what to get, everything looks so good, how about you order me something"

you smiled at him, wondering how did you get so lucky to have someone so special such as colby brock

you turned over to the taquero and smiled at him, the man smiling back at you and asking what you what would you like to eat.

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murmurlilies · 2 months

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Less about OCs, but I'm interested to know what your process is like when creating a piece as detailed as that one you posted for Valentine's Day. How do you go about it? And do you happen to do time-lapse videos?

hmm can't say I can give an explanation that's terribly interesting or satisfying lol... I'm almost entirely self-taught, so "process" is a very loose and nebulous concept for me, and it changes from piece to piece. the one common thread among my works is that they all involve obscene amounts of trial and error. I don't have any recent time-lapses because I never think to record them, but if I did you would definitely see how often I feel the need to adjust and redo every little thing.

for the Valentine's Day piece, because it was a "remake" I had the benefit of a much more solid foundation than usual to start out with. however you can still see where I ended up deviating from the sketch phase - most obvious being her pose, the design of her hair, and the details of her sandals. (there were also meant to be candles on the dresser, but I forgot and didn't feel like adding them back in later and so I decided a vague suggestion of candlelight was enough lmao)

anyways, compared to everything else, sketching and linework are fairly straightforward and come most easily to me. there really isn't much to say, just scribble some messy lines and then whittle away at and draw over them till they magically become less messy!

when it comes to coloring and shading, things get a lot weirder and more complicated. this is where my process tends to vary the most, because it really depends on the mood of the piece. for this one I wanted something dark and seductive, so I covered the whole image in a layer of burgundy red, then painted the "lighting" on top across several Overlay layers. additional shadow details were brushed in on Multiply layers using deep purple instead of straight black, but ultimately I didn't want them to be too dark, as that initial layer of red was meant to serve as the primary "shadow" of the piece.

this is also usually where I decide which lines I want to "color" with clipping masks, which can either make certain elements pop or feel softer. it sorta brings the whole image together, giving it a much more painterly look overall. from there all that's left is to keep making adjustments and adding little details - the glittery effect on her dress was one of the last things I added, I thought it looked really nice!

...ok now take everything I just said and throw it all in a blender. because even though it might sound fairly orderly, the truth is I'm constantly making changes to all stages of my works, even the earliest ones, all the way to the end. I'll still be making adjustments to the linework and such after I've already put so much effort into the lights and shading! it's not the most efficient way of doing things... but again, trial and error. my perfectionism gets the better of me...

anyways I apologize if NONE of this made any sense, like I said I never had any formal training in art, so I'm not very good at teaching or explaining it!! at the end of the day my process is less about what makes logical sense and more about finding what feels right in a given moment. at the very least I hope it was a fun read lmao 🥳

#evayo asks #evayo art #glassborn #ocs #fun fact: i had no idea what to put in those dialogue bubbles till like an hour before upload LMAO... she could've been saying anything 🙊#art

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mlmxreader · 9 months

Text

Blue Sand | Max Rockatansky x gn!reader

anonymous asked: Max Rockatansky: Hi!! I hope everything's going alright with you. May I please ask for a little something using the following prompts for Max Rockatansky X non-binary, male, or gn!Reader: "Hey, hey, look at me, c'mon" + "What's got you in such a bad mood?" Thank you so much 🖤! 🐍anon

summary: Max knows you better than anyone else, but maybe he knows you too well.

tws: mentions of blood and violence, swearing

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

Max sighed heavily as he glared over at you, wondering what he could have possibly done wrong to make you hate him so much; you were in such a bad mood recently, always getting huffy with him when he so much as asked a simple question.

Rolling your eyes when he made a small comment; you were getting on his nerves if he was honest, and he couldn't see any point in sticking by your side if you were just going to keep being in such a strop with him.

Your mood seemed to sour when he was nearby, and although he tried to keep his distance, it was extremely difficult; Max knew that he only had one choice to make, and although it made him a little bit nervous, he knew that he didn't have any other option in the matter.

So he sighed as he approached you as you sat on the cool sand and watched the sunset, clearing his throat as he bent over and put his hand on your shoulder; you didn't react, even though he wished that you would have.

He frowned, shaking his head as he dropped to his knees at your side, his hand still on your shoulder.

You and Max had been through so much together, he knew that even the smallest of gestures meant almost everything to you, he knew that they meant just the same for him, too. After all, when he was without kindness and companionship, when he was without loyalty and support, he could always run to you and expect to find it in its most unconditional of forms.

A shaky sigh left Max's lips, and he glared at you for a moment before turning his gaze to the setting sun; the sand appeared a dark blue, almost navy really, as the sky slowly turned from grey to black. He wanted to smile when he felt your hand on his.

He leaned in slightly, letting you hold onto his fingers as he sat so close that his thigh was against your knee.

"What's got you in such a bad mood?"

You shrugged, staring out into nothing as you gave his fingers a gentle squeeze, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. "Just thinking too much, is all. Really."

Max knew you too well to believe it. "No. That's not it."

You glared at him for a moment, then smiled. "I've been an ass, ain't I?"

He nodded.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly, shaking your head. "I don't mean to take it out on you…"

"I know," Max mumbled. "What is it?"

"A lot of things," you admitted softly. "I think about how things used to be a lot. Before, y'know, everything turned to shit… wonder if maybe we might've had a chance."

Max grumbled incoherently, one of the few ways he told you to keep going.

"You know what I mean," you huffed. "Date nights. Cuddling in bed. Marriage. That sorta thing, but… but that ain't the world we live in anymore, and I… I know that… there won't ever be a chance for us, Max."

"Maybe not. If you can't fix what's broken, you'll kill your mind."

You nodded slowly. "I'm at the point now where it feels like I'm holding the knife."

"Give it to me," Max muttered. "Give me the knife."

"I can't do that," you whispered, shaking your head. "I can't let you burden yourself with this shit."

He withdrew his hand from yours, and moved so that he could nudge your legs apart; kneeling between them, he caught your chin with his forefinger and thumb, forcing you to look at him. Forcing you to show him the handle of the blade. He nodded slowly.

"Hey, hey, look at me, c'mon."

You couldn't look away, clearing your throat as you stared at him. "I'm not giving you the knife."

"Let me put my hand on the edge."

You didn't want to, but if there was anyone in the world you trusted to have their hand near the knife, it was Max; so you nodded, and you dared to crack a broken smile as you quickly stole a kiss. His hand firmly planted on the blade's edge the second your lips met his.

"That okay?"

Max nodded, thanking you quietly before he gently pushed you down, his arms either side of your head and digging into the navy blue sands as he sighed; if you were going to give him the edge of your knife, it was only right that he would give you the edge of his own.

He remembered being told not to run with knives, but this was different. If you cut him, he would cut you, and you would bleed in perfect harmony; you would both bleed knowing that it was not the world that had gotten to you, it was not the shit that the planet had become - but it was loyalty, companionship, and dedication. You would both bleed for something human. Something that society began to punish a long time ago.

Staring into Max's eyes, you never felt more at peace; knowing that you had put your mind in his hands just as he had put his in yours. You worried your hands would shake, that you would drop it. You didn't know he worried about the same.

You swallowed thickly, licking your lips as you closed your eyes for a moment, thinking of the right thing to say without making it seem so fucking silly.

"Max… in another life, I would have been happy with you. In another world, we could have had a home in a village somewhere, a dog or two, and we could have… we could have been happy. I would have killed to have spent my days paying bills with you. I would have killed to have lounged in the sun with you, to have woken up in a bed with you. I would have killed to argue with you over where we'd go on date nights."

Max could only nod slowly as he pressed his face to the side of your neck, his bottom lip quivering as he let out a shaking sigh; he couldn't say it, but he felt the same.

#mlem writes #max rockatansky imagine #max rockatansky x reader #max rockatansky #mad max fury road #mad max imagine #mad max x reader #mad max #tom hardy fanfic #tom hardy x you #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy imagine #tom hardy

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