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kdramachitchat · 3 years

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Hometown Cha Cha Cha Ep 7 - The love triangle (and the bromance too) officially starts and Dusik’s past is slowly unraveling. Hyejin’s role in Dusik’s heart becomes more prominent.

After Dusik’s almost accident, Sunghyun was introduced to the neighbors. Sunghyun introduced himself and informed them that he’s filming a new food variety show that’ll feature Gonjin. Dusik asked how they knew each other and Hyejin said that they both went to college. Hyejin also asked how they each other, Dusik said that they met on the street and that them knowing each other is based on lies. Haha.

He seem to be popular among the older neighbors and finally went to Dusik and Hyejin’s spot at the table, Hyejin tells him that he was also popular back then in college. They started talking about their friendship and said its been 10 years since they last seen each other. Dusik started to feel left out and interrupted the reunion asking for him to explain certain things. Things finally settled due to misunderstanding and they both introduced themselves. I see a bromance coming along, this would be a problem. Hyejin and Sunghyun started talking what they’ve been up to especially the dental clinic she opened up, Dusik inserts himself in the convo and tells Sunghyun that he found and renovated that place himself. He’s becoming a third-wheeler at this point poor Dusik. Sunghyun asked if that’s how the 2 met and Hyejin didn’t really tell him the truth. A neighbor was being nosy teasing both Hyejin and Sunghyun. Hyejin doesnt like to be teased especially if it’s far from the truth so she excused herself for a early night, Dusik tells her that it never was a problem and wants him to shut up.

Sunghyun wants to accompany her going home, while Dusik likely jealous decided to step out of the restaurant and accompanied Hyejin home. Sunghyun and Dusik want to hang out together then they all went to Dusik’s house instead. Hyejin tells Dusik not to discuss anything that happened that night.

Sunghyun decided to ask Dusik to be his tour guide in town. They drink, do bets and games with referencing on actor Kim Seonho’s 2D1N variety program (I honestly didnt get the reference as i dont watch his variety show). It was very chaotic and all of them went to sleep after.

The next day, Dusik is officially the guide for Sunghyun’s production team for sightseeing Gongjin and their next stop is Gam-ri’s house. Songhyun intends on making the house the main shooting location so he brings all the team to her house. Sunghyun is trying to convince Gamri and asked for her permission to borrow her house for 7 days. He falls for the authenticity and the warmth of the house. But sadly, Gamri doesnt allow him to and tells him that it won’t work, despite Sunghyun being so persistent. That’s probably why his shows are so successful because he gets what he wants. Him allowing Gamri to have the time to think and leave her alone, eventually will come back. He also cannot think and work well with a empty stomach. We see his work ethic here. Looks like he eats too when he gets stressed.

Dusik brings Sunghyun and his team to Ms. Yeo’s restaurant. They try a fish dish which brings both Dusik and Sunghyun to utter bliss, describing the flavors they tasted like a food critic. They both agree on the flavors and their bromance especially over food is in full force. The fish they ate is a wild fish-fresh from the sea that cost 100,000 won in Seoul. Ok i admit this scene was really funny, they were so dramatic over describing the fish like it’s heaven to them. After their meal they meet Hyejin and left right after. Sunghyun and Hyejin continues to talk before leaving, Hyejin mentions Dusik’s fees and he offers Sunghyun to discuss about it.

Dusik notices she sounds different while talking with Sunghyun and later mimicking her way of speaking. After his tummy is happily fed, Sunghyun suggests the whole team go shopping to the market where Dusik struggles to keep up with Sunghyun’s energy and childlike behavior when it comes to shopping. Ok i giggled at this. Sunghyun is like a ball of energy and Dusik acts like an old man.

This is just an extra stop before they all go back to Gamri’s house as presents. Sunghyun will bribe her with these in order to win her heart. So he got a plan. Gamri is not falling for his tricks, smart woman but Sunghyun kept insisting that he’s doing this as a repayment for her kindness to her. He keeps coming back and continues to assist Gamri like helping her lift heavy things, cleaning, continues giving her gifts and even fixing her broken lamp. Looks like Gamri is starting to warm up to him. After his constant visits he stops, Gamri is starting to look for him wondering where he is which ultimately gives some time for her to think before she could make a decision.

Later on, Gamri calls her granddaughter who resides in America for her studies. She happily talks to her and asks her to come to Gongjin for a visit where she will cook all the dishes she likes to eat. Sad to say, her granddaughter won’t be coming home this holiday since she will be spending the holiday in California with her friends. I don’t like how her granddaughter prefers her friends over family shows her unselfishness, compared to Gamri who is so kind to others. Gamri is shown to be lonely and i thank Dusik for being so kind to her like a grandson.

Meanwhile, Sunghyun suddenly appears at the gate of Gamri’s house bringing a delicious cake. It’s been 5 days since his last visit which makes Gamri sulk. Gamri then offers him to stay and have dinner but he says that he plans on having dinner with his friend who is June the boyband member that Juri likes.

Gamri offers to cook them a delicious dinner in return for the cakes and they all enjoy dinner together. June thanks Gamri and tells that he misses having homecooked meals. Sunghyun added that as a kpop idol member he never stopped working since he was young. A disadvantage being a idol. Gamri shows her warmth by giving a piece of meat to his rice–a small gesture of affection. Dusik gets jealous Hahaha and Gamri tells him he’s grown up. I cracked up. Juri is having the time of her life hanging out with her favorite kpop idol.

After the meal, Sunghyun continues to offer his help to Gamri like to wash the dishes. Hyejin volunteers but Sunghyun tells her not to because of her back problem due to her car accident back in the day. Dusik didnt know about her back problem. This is new information.

Gamri is completely happy at this point and she expresses her happiness. It’s been a while she had a big meal at her house. It’s the liveliest moment she had at her house. This really warmed my heart. Gamri should have more happy moments. Dusik visits Gamri and Gamri tells him that Sunghyun can film at her house. She wants to feel less lonely and Dusik tells her he’s happy as long as she is. They continue to drink their milk together.

The next day, Hyejjin wakes up with Sunghyun’s surprising delivery of food like her favorites. They talked to each other over the phone and Sunghyun is curious and wondered what has she been up to over the 10 years.

Sunghyun is happy to see her living comfortably and happy. He then promises to treat her a proper meal when he’s not that busy and Hyejin agrees. Looks like Dusik will be out of the picture for a while when Sunghyun is around.

Later in the day, Dusik and Sunghyun stops by Gamri’s house. Sunghyun looks around the house and Dusik tells him that he’s not allowed to change anything. He also tells Sunghyun that he should ask Gamri anything first if he intends to make the slightest change on her house. Any without permission he has to return the house to her and even the damages that may happen are discussed to be added in the contract, as well as Gamri’s pay. Sunghyun ask if Dusik knows baseball. Sunghyun says that good pitchers dont throw a ball when they can, they have their energy and control with their power. The player throws the ball at full speed during a crucial moment. Is that a hint on what’s yet to come? He said that he’s like that and doesn’t sweat or stress over small things. Sunghyun finally brings up to Dusik if Hyejin is seeing anyone. Dusik has that change of expression on his face, you can see him close to tears. Dusik was silent for a moment, then responded that she’s not seeing anyone. Sunghyun said that it’s a relief. Dusik looks to him with mixed and pained expressions. I sorta felt bad for him at that moment. Like shit someone’s in the way now. What to do?

During the epilogue, we see Dusik being down and Hyejin drops by with a happy mood. They’re completely polar in terms of mood. Hyejin continues to joke around without understanding the environment’s mood. Hyejin tries to carry him back to his house. Dusik continues to look so broken and with a pained tone he tells her to not go and leave him behind.

Dusik better be quick as someone else who’s fast as a baseball player ready to swing for his pitch. If he doesn’t make the move, Sunghyun will.

Thoughts

I like how this drama focused on Gamri and Sunghyun. We get to know them more with this episode. Also tbh with everyone. I do not like Seonho’s acting. I think Seonho when he's plain and the typical conversational scenes he's very weak but can improve. But i would like to point out when he does crying scenes that’s what he does best. He emoted Dusik’s heartache and pain very well at the epilogue, at that moment you would feel bad for him.

#2021 #Hometown Cha Cha Cha

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years

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Yu and Jake,

Good luck on the confrontation. If I may add on, in my own very personal opinion, I feel as though you should tell them. If you don’t, it’s obviously not going to solve their suspicions, and it’ll only boil up to a worse situation than right now. You might as well calm tensions now before they blow.

Besides Jake, Yu’s right, if literally everything that happened is proof, then everyone in the group is trustworthy enough to know. Sure they’ll be, incredibly confused and might not believe you at first, but a few pics should solve that problem. Take a selfie of you two near the gaming place or something idk.

Um, if you want good news, I’ve officially quite done of my jobs, and now I have a little bit more time to sleep. I managed to get a promotion as a Stage Technician for a really big theater, things should get easier now.

Bad news, Skie knows I’m hiding something.

I knew I shouldn’t have hidden shit from her, she’s part of the fucking military, for gods sakes.

She made it really obvious, confronted me at the dinner table and said I shouldn’t get myself into trouble with the wrong people if I [the rest of the sentence is blacked out]

Also, Yu, don’t do that now, don’t do that thing where you blame yourself, don’t do it, I’ll be disappointed >:(

Also, don’t live in delusion Yu, it’s better to fix an obvious problem then to say “it’ll be ok.” Trust me, I know from personal experience.

Rai

P.S, I wanted to test something. I put a crayon in the envelope as well as the letter, tell me if you receive it. :)

(The paper smells faintly of earth.)

Rai,

Thanks for the luck, I'll need it. It took them most of the day to even decide for sure who was going to confront me, even though it'd looked like it would be Jessy at first. They've now compromised by saying everyone's gonna interrogate me, yay me.

And, exactly. Glad we agree. I'm trying this whole honesty thing out, and I gotta say, it's working out better than the "I'm going to worry everyone more by telling them not to worry and nothing else" shtick.

Yes! Go Rai!! Congrats on the promotion, NOW GET SOME SLEEP.

Oh jeez Skie is military? Oh joy. Yeah. Uh. That's bad. Honestly, I have no clue how you kept these letters from her as long as you did.

It's sorta funny she thinks people like Lis and I are the "wrong people", though XD The Jakes I can see, but given who all of us are to each other...

Hey, it is possible Skie was talking about the Crow Crew and not necessarily these letters? Or maybe both. That might help somewhat if so. You should probably at least tell her a half-truth at some point, either way, if not the full truth.

As for not blaming myself... I guess I'll try, if it's making you all this upset, but it's not exactly that easy. You're basically trying to dam up a waterfall, here. Even if it works, it's just gonna spill out around the edges in some other form.

...I know. I know denial doesn't help. But what else do I have at this point? Empty promises? The support of my currently pissed off Jake? An entity that tortured us both only a little over a week ago? The support of my family who have all forgotten I exist? The mood meds I don't actually have with me? Cheap distractions that make the hole in my arm ache every time I need to move it? Irregular letters where I hear about my friends FUCKING BEING TORTURED AND DYING?

What the fuck do I have, Rai? At least denial WORKS, for a bit.

Back. Shredded a tree. Feeling a little better now.

Yes, I got the crayon XD Not sure how you found a crayon that's white, green, and brown, but, uh, nice find. Did you mean for the name to be a joke or something?

I'm not going to give Jake the chance to look at my response to this letter, I think.

—Yuvon

Hello, Rai.

...I concede your point. Reluctantly. But I am not telling them I am in this place as well, and I am MOST CERTAINLY not going to be filmed in any capacity. That will lead only to disaster, as Jessica's timeline suggests strongly.

I am glad you were promoted, and that you will be able to rest now. You deserve the time. This news about Skie is troubling, however. She will of course not understand if you tell her the full truth, and may believe you have been influenced to believe the contents of the letters somehow. A half-truth may be prudent, though I am admittedly too compromised to come up with one myself for the moment.

Yuvon was blaming herself again? Damn it. She's starting to worry me. I am the last person to ask about mental health or about what is normal, but even I am fairly sure her behavior is unhealthy. And what is this about self-delusions? I think I need to look at that status report letter she told me she sent.

I do not know if the crayon you mentioned came with or not, but I highly suspect Yuvon will have answered that one way or another.

Goodbye for now,

Jake

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

#did i mention yuvon has a sanity meter?#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #rai #lily

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starscheme · 4 years

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Lost Stars

Chapter Five: Lars’ Resolve and Sodalite’s Plea

It had been a few days since Lars told Sodalite to stay away. He had gone home that day and called Steven, asking his friend to pick Sodalite up and bring her home. Since then, he hadn’t been back to the bakery. The off colors were concerned of course, but Fluorite urged them to give the captain some space. After what he said to Sodalite, Lars didn’t feel much like going out. Even baking did nothing to help his mood. He told the off colors that he needed some time to get ready so they could head back into space. He just wanted a few days to get out of this funk so they didn’t ask a million questions. Still, there was nothing keeping him here anymore and in space he wouldn’t be tempted to seek Sodalite out and ruin everything.

Even if he had decided it was for her own good, Lars couldn’t help worrying about her. She must have cried after he left. Was she still upset? Was she feeling brave enough to leave her home without him there? Did she even miss him after the awful things he admitted that day?

As he laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, his phone began to buzz beside him. With a glance at the screen he sighed after noticing that Steven was calling yet again. He had been trying to get in touch with Lars ever since he left Sodalite at the bakery, but the last thing Lars wanted was to hear Steven lecture him as if he knew better. Lars hit decline to stop the buzzing, but once he did, an annoyed groan came from the entrance to his room.

“Did you just decline the call AGAIN?” Asked Steven as he came in, clearly annoyed.

Lars lifted his head, but quickly let it drop back on the pillow with a resigned sigh. “I’m not in the mood, Steven...”

“Yeah? Well I’m not exactly in the best of moods either, considering you dumped Sodalite and made me clean up the mess.” Steven shot back, his tone more stern than it was angry. “I’ve been calling you for days.”

“The unanswered messages and declined calls are usually a sign that I don’t want to talk. Where’s your shadow?”

Steven sat himself at the edge of Lars’ bed with a frown. “If you’re talking about my girlfriend, Spinel has been working very hard to try and console Sodalite. She said she felt partly responsible for what happened.”

“She should.” Lars muttered bitterly.

“Spinel was only trying to help. She may not have given the best advice, but she had good intentions. It didn’t mean you had to push Sodalite out of your life.” Steven replied.

Lars honestly didn’t have the energy to argue much. It’s why he had been avoiding Steven. “Did Sodalite tell you what happened?”

Steven sighed and shook his head, “sort of. When I went to pick her up she was just crying and said you didn’t want her around anymore. She thinks she did something wrong. She said that it was all her fault. When I told you that you should be honest with her, I didn’t think you were going to bite her head off.”

After feeling rather numb for the last couple of days, Lars’ stomach began to turn in knots. So Sodalite did cry. He sat up, refusing to look Stevens way as he stared at his lap, “...is she...has she been able to go outside?”

“She’s been staying with me,” answered Steven, calming himself a bit now. Lars seemed worried about her at least. Still, he didn’t understand why it turned out like this. “...she doesn’t want to go back to little homeworld...but she doesn’t really like it at the house either. For now, Spinel is letting her stay in her bedroom inside the temple. Sodalite hasn’t come out much.”

Lars said nothing at first, fighting the urge to ask more. “You...you can’t force her out, but you shouldn’t leave here in there alone. She doesn’t like being alone. When she panics...I usually have her focus on something small. Like...the sound of my voice or I hold her hand...”

“Lars, I didn’t come here for instructions on how to handle her. ...though she did black out the house for a couple of hours when Pearl tried to bring her a snack.”

“Sodalite doesn’t eat anything. ...and uh...she might not sleep to start with, but she does like to when she gets comfortable. The only problem is that she tends to have nightmares. It’s better if someone is there when she wakes up. Once she sees that someone is there...she usually goes back to sleep...”

“Lars,” Steven began again, “my bed is not big enough for three people.”

The pink human flinched and suddenly appeared upset when he finally looked up at Steven. “I didn’t say for you to sleep next to her! S-she sorta likes Garnet and Peridot because they don’t have too many negative feelings floating around. Maybe ask one of them to-“

“—you know she’s going to refuse any help,” Steven reminded Lars evenly. “Those things that calmed her down...I bet they only worked because it was you that did them.”

“She’ll be fine without me in a little while. She just...has to get used to it...”

Steven could see that this wasn’t going the way he hoped. Why was Lars being so stubborn about this? It was far worse than before. Rather than just not admitting how he felt, he seemed completely depressed, as if it were Sodalite that ran away from him. “You don’t think you’ll regret this? I can tell you miss her...”

“Yeah! I miss her!” Lars shouted in frustration, slamming his fist down onto the bed. He’d been trying not to think about it. It was a big reason he didn’t answer Stevens calls. He missed just about everything. Even the way she would panic and hide behind his back. “But missing her doesn’t change anything. She was never going to get better with me around. I didn’t want her to get better. I took advantage of her and almost selfishly ostracized Sodalite.”

“If you realize you were making a mistake, all you had to do was fix it. You didn’t have to tell her to stay away,” Steven reminded his friend.

“Yes I did,” Lars insisted. “Sodalite believes everything I say without question. She’ll do anything I ask. ...she thinks I can never do anything wrong. ...I can’t possibly live up to be the person she thinks I am. I’ve already proven that I’m not the good guy in this story. After what I did...I feel guilty just looking at her.”

Steven groaned. This was just going in circles. “I just came to see how you were doing, but you should really think things over before you leave ear—“ as Steven spoke, his phone began to ring and when he saw that it was Pearls number, he answered right away.

“Steven! Something is wrong with Sodalite!!Spinel shouted into the phone.

Steven had to hold the phone away from his ear due to the volume of her voice. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong! It’s really bad!! You need to come back right now!!”

On reflex, Lars jumped out of bed and snatched the phone from Stevens hand. “What happened?! Is she breaking?!”

“I don’t know! She won’t let me near her!”

Suddenly, Lars felt like he couldn’t breath and his heart dropped down into his stomach. Why? There was nothing dangerous around. She should have been safe. Steven had taken the phone back, but Lars couldn’t hear a word he was saying. All he could think about was how frightened Sodalite must have been. While Steven was assuring Spinel that he’d be there soon, Lars was already rushing out of the room.

“H-hey, Wait for me!” Steven shouted after Lars before following him out.

It didn’t take them long to reach the house in the car, but for Lars it felt like forever. Once they finally arrived, both boys ran into the house in a panic, with Spinel standing anxiously near the temple door.

“You’re here!” The pink Gem exclaimed happily once she saw the two arrive.

“Where is she?!” Lars asked desperately.

“She’s in my room, hurry!” Insisted Spinel as she opened the temple door. Lars rushed inside, but as Steven made to follow, Spinel grabbed his hand and quickly forced the door shut.

“Spinel?! What are you doing?! I need to heal Sodalite!” Steven shouted in panicked confusion.

The pigtailed Gem offered Steven an apologetic smile, “...about that...”

While Spinel dealt with Steven in the main house, Lars had just entered Spinels nearly empty room,unaware that Steven hadn’t followed after him. Though Lars had prepared himself for the worst, when he finally spotted Sodalite, she appeared just fine. The freckled Gem was sitting on the floor, her back against a large pillow cushion as she hugged her knees.

At first, Sodalite didn’t bother to look up when she heard the temple door open, but when she glanced up and saw Lars standing at the entrance, looking confused and upset; she froze.

Though Lars wanted to be angry with Spinel for lying, he couldn’t control the tears that began to well up in his eyes. Losing all strength in his legs, Lars dropped to his knees in relief and stared at the ground in shock. The whole way here, Lars had been picturing the worst. To see her perfectly fine and in one piece was such a relief that all the panicked energy drained from him.

Sodalite quickly scrambled to her feet when she saw Lars fell to his knees. She was still rather shocked to see him in the first place, but she was too worried about him to question it. “L-Lars?! What happe—“ she stopped herself just as she was about to reach him, remembering now that he had told her to stay away.

Just as Sodalite was struggling with how to handle this, Lars reached up and grabbed her arm, pulling her down into a tight embrace without a word.

“L-Lars?!” Sodalite exclaimed again, staring over his shoulder, thoroughly lost by this behavior. Didn’t he want her to keep her distance from him?

“She-she just won’t stay out of my business...” muttered Lars with a catch in his throat, of course referring to the pigtailed Gem that played such a cruel trick on him.

Sodalite was silent for a moment. She had cried for days, thinking how unfair and awful she had been to Lars. Determined to follow his wish that she stay away from him. So why was he here now? Without much warning, tears began to slip down her cheeks. “I-I was trying really hard!” She sobbed out finally. “I-I was hurting you and I didn’t even realize! I only-I only ever did selfish things and ignored your feelings!! I’m so sorry!! I really—I was doing my best to stay away like you wanted!”

Lars felt another twist of the knife in his heart as Sodalite cried in his arms. This was the last thing he wanted. Honestly, he thought she would simply hate him for all the awful things he’d done. Squeezing the Gems slender frame tight against his chest, Lars shook his head. “Don’t cry...” he pleaded quietly. “Please don’t cry...”

It was only now that Sodalite realized Lars’ shoulders were trembling as he held her. Still, she couldn’t stop the tears like he wanted her to. “...I-I’m sorry I made you-“

“-No—I’m sorry!” Lars insisted quickly, feeling his own tears slip down his cheeks slowly. “I didn’t want to hold you back. ...but when I heard that you might—“ Lars stopped himself as a lump formed in his throat. He didn’t want to think about her shattering again. “I...I’m just glad that you’re okay...”

“I’m not. I wanted to do as you told me...but I can’t. I don’t want to be left alone,” whimpered Sodalite gripping the back of his shirt as she held onto him. For days she’d been working so hard in order to stay away from him, but it hurt so much. “I-I’ll do better. I won’t do anything you don’t like anymore. ...I’ll be really good...I promise. So pl-please...let me stay with you.” Sodalite knew this might just trouble Lars, but she feared that if Lars left, she’d truly never see him again. This was her only chance to try and make amends.

Lars listened silently to Sodalite’s pleas. Her small, delicate voice trembling through her tears. How could he leave her now? He barely had enough strength to do so the first time. Not five minutes ago he was rushing here in a panic, worried that she was going to be gone forever. Now, she was in his arms and begging him to stay. “I just wanted to do what was best for you. ...I didn’t want to hold you back...”

“As long as it’s you holding me, I don’t care,” replied Sodalite, refusing to pull away from the embrace; afraid to let him go. “You don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t mind. I’m selfish too. Go ahead and keep me with you and only you because I don’t need anyone else. I don’t want anything else.”

Taking in a deep breath, Lars placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back to see Sodalite’s face. “...you’re not some doll I can just keep locked away...” he whispered gently, brushing the tears from her cheek with his hand. As he looked into her hopeful, silver eyes, Lars felt his cheeks begin to burn. Though it wasn’t too appropriate to think like this right now, he couldn’t help but fixate on how beautiful she was. “I’m sorry...” he continued, almost too ashamed to look her in the eye as he spoke. In the end, Lars ran away from her because he was scared of being tossed aside. He ran away just like he used to do and like always, he hurt someone he loved. “I-I’m not perfect or anything...I don’t know why you think you did anything wrong. I was the one who hurt you. I got scared all on my own because I wasn’t prepared to-I just didn’t think I would develop feelings for someone...so soon. It happened kinda fast and I-“ Lars cut himself off, wondering if he was admitting a bit too much. He had already averted his gaze to the side, his ears burning as his face flushed red. “M-my point is...you...I’ll make it up to you. I want to be...the person you think I am. I...I want to...” even after all this, Lars had trouble getting the words out. As if they were stuck in his throat. All the dangerous things they had been through before and these words somehow turned out to be the most terrifying.

Sodalite had been patiently listening to Lars as he spoke, watching his cheeks change color while he struggled with his words. She wasn’t a brave Gem by any means, not after everything that had happened to her, but she wasn’t afraid of anything in this moment. “I love my Lars...” she said with a tearful smile.

Lars flinched lightly as his heart skipped a beat against his chest. She always sounded so happy when she said things like that. He returned his gaze to see her face and was relieved to see her smile again. “...a-and I...love you too...” he muttered bashfully.

Once his words hit her, it was as if stars appeared in her eyes. The freckled Gem seemed shocked at first, but wasted no time in leaping forward, nearly knocking an unprepared Lars to the ground.

“Wh-whoa! You gotta warn me or—“

“—I love you! I love you!” Sodalite exclaimed happily before planting several sweet kisses along his cheek.

Lars smiled as he steadied them both, “j-just so we’re clear...things won’t be exactly like they used to be...”

Sodalite stopped and met his eyes, worried that she had gotten carried away again. Perhaps she shouldn’t have assumed everything would be the same. “I didn’t mean-“

Placing his hand over her mouth gently, Lars made sure to keep Sodalite from apologizing just yet. “...I mean...that...if you’re going to be my girlfriend, we can do things that couples do now. You won’t have to ask to stay with me. ...cause...that’s where you belong. ...so...I-I promise to make you happy and I’ll work hard to make all this up to you. Just...stay with me...as long as you want to...”

Once again, Sodalite didn’t see much difference from being a couple to how they already were. Lars already made her very happy and hearing him say all this more than made up for the past few days, but she was sure that even if she told him this, he wouldn’t believe her. For now, she simply nodded her head and gently removed his hand from her lips. “Forever.”

Lars was still amazed that she could say things like that without a hint of embarrassment. Still, her cheerful expression warmed his heart. He reached over and cupped her face in his hands, leaning forward just as a stone door appeared and opened to reveal Steven, struggling to get through as he gripped the entrance, Spinels arms wrapped around his waist like rope as she attempted to pull him back.

“S-sorry Lars!” Steven panted, his appearance disheveled from an apparent struggle to get to the door. “Spinel was just trying to help! I-“ Steven stopped once he took a good look at the scene in front of him. Though he had fought to get Lars and Sodalite out of the locked room, thinking Lars would be even more upset with Spinel for the trick she played on him, not only did Lars not look mad, he seemed to have interrupted something. “Uuuuumm...I’ll just...”

Lars’ face had turned a dark shade of red once again and he removed his hands from Sodalite before quickly getting to his feet, offering a hand to his blue Gem in order to help her up. “N-no!” Insisted Lars as he cleared his throat and helped Sodalite to her feet as well. “J-just get us out of here,” he added, trying to appear calm.

Steven was once again surprised, but pleasantly so. Spinel reeled herself forward and unwrapped her arms around his waist, leaning against his back instead to look in on the couple. The pigtailed Gem looked a bit roughed up herself. Indicating that she had fought rather hard to keep Steven from getting to the garden door that connected her room to his. However, once she heard Lars say, ‘us,’ she realized that trying to hold Steven back was no longer needed.

“See? My plans always work out flawlessly,” the pink Gem bragged.

“Yeah, you really made this all go so smoothly,” Lars replied sarcastically, still rather annoyed with her.

Steven sighed in relief, just glad this all turned out okay. Once Spinel opened her door to the main house, Sodalite hugged Lars’ arm as they left the temple which only served to embarrass the pink human after everything that happened. He could only hope that Steven and Spinel wouldn’t say anything to make this worse for him. A/N: So there will only be one more chapter after this. This was never meant to be very long. I just wanted to give a little look see on how Lars finally accepted his feelings for the panicked Gem. I hope you all have enjoyed reading it so far. I’ll still write little one shots here and there and maybe even some little comics that include my favorite double date couples. I mean, Stevinel and Sodalars on a group date, how cute is that?!

#steven universe #steven universe future #SU #SUF #Sodalite #lars #Lars barriga #sodalars #fanfiction #lost stars

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? doubtful, I don’t wanna hurt anyone, it’s awkward and a lot of ppl can’t change how they smell

Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? used to have one special object, I still hold it sometimes, I suppose I might again at night from Friday to Saturday

When are you likely to hide your emotions? when I’m face to face with an authority figure like boss, teacher or doctor, policeman too but I never been in a situation like this with them, I also hide my emotions from abusers at times to not show I’m afraid of them and to not provoke them more as well

Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I guess starvation as it takes longer

Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? it’s their decision to smoke, I don’t approve but I won’t get involved, I can only avoid them

Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? self harm more likely, I mean... I was talking with suicidal people about them wanting to kill themselves but never at the moment when they were doing it so I don’t know if that counts

When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? packing, last day with my parents before I go to the hospital

What is the last thing you complained about? probably health related issues

What was the last curse-word you said? kurwa

When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? I don’t fake sick, I might exaggerate but I won’t lie, I don’t want to worry my parents and because I’m chronicall ill I often was going to school even though I didn’t felt like it

Do you still talk to your very first best friend? no

When was the last time something went terribly wrong? basically everything goes wrong

How do you console someone when he or she is upset? depends

Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? no thx

How often do you feel overwhelmed? all the damn time

How do you deal with everyday life? poorly

Who in your family do you act like the most? my dad

What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? my gf is doing many sweet things

Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? I’ve never been confronted by the store guard - elseway I would never go back there out of anxiety

Is there someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? my mom

Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? sorta XD

Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? I was attacked but I didn’t fight back so...

A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? dunno

When was the last time you visited a thrift store? recently

Can you handle constructive criticism? I can’t handle any criticism :(

Who is the most sensitive person that you know? me?...

When was the last time you wrote someone a note? few days ago

Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I always tell

What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? not sure what was last hmm...

Which season do you dread the most? winter

Is there a foreign culture you’d like to learn more about? maybe

Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought “I could have done that?” abstract art

What is the scariest thing about attending your school? which one?

Are you a good judge of other people’s intentions? I got better with time

Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? depends

When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? my mother sometimes asks me to because she has migraines

When you don’t know how to spell a word, do you look it up? not always *ashamed*

Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? nope but I’m the one that often goes to the bathroom

Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? sure

When was the last time you doubted your abilities? I have... abilities? :o

What was the last thing you wished for? health... not gonna happen tho :(

How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? several, when I wake up then when I eat and between meals and then when I go to sleep and in the middle of the night if I go to pee

Where do you first remember living? I never moved

First fandom? woah I don’t remember

First otp/ship? neither

How old were you when you first when on a plane? -

What was your first tattoo? -

Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? show - She-ra, movie - A lot like love

Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? nooo

How many purses do you own? too many lol Are you bi? am not Who was your prom date? I never had one, I didn’t go to prom

Who was the last person to see you cry? parent[s]

Have you ever been used? yep

Do you like when girl takes you by surprise and kisses you? I like consent but... those were the best kisses ^^’’

Have you ever gone for someone despite knowing they were bad for you? I didn’t think about the future nor that I deserve love What kind of gift can win you over? what do you mean by WIN ME OVER? Are diamonds really a girls best friend? not mine, I don’t care for diamonds

Have you ever dated someone with a child? no way Have you ever dated someone shorter than you? Sarah was shorter

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? my parents and my current partner

What sound is annoying you right now? it’s quiet :3

What gives you a peaceful feeling? sleep?

Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? country

Are you more of a maker and giver, or a taker and user? taker and user I suppose

Do you buy holiday gifts early or at the last minute? early

If someone else were to describe you what would you hope they would say? the truth

Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for the child to outlive their parent? parent to outlive the child because it’s not common

When do you do your best thinking? evening/night

What was a choice that you didn’t want to make but you had to? majority of decisions are smth I’d prefer not to make

What age do you think it is most difficult to be? to each their own

Do you think you could handle a day in jail? who knows

Have you ever been on a trampoline? I have not

Do you pretend to be something you’re not to make friends? I’m being myself and that’s why I’m friendless :P

Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I’m introverted antisocial and a loner but I’m not shy, I can be loud and talkative

Are you more of an athlete or artist? artist Are you the type to procrastinate? I put PRO in procrastination Do you believe that you’ll always be a kid at heart? ;) What is something you want to improve on this year? health, I’m trying How many times a day do you get angry? uh oh... If you could eat any food you want right now, what would it be? personal Can you sleep with your eyes open? I’m no Gandalf

Do you still have any living grandparents? If so, how old are they? I don’t wanna talk about that

What’s your favorite computer game genre? simulations Do you have any exes your parents never liked? pfft Do you ever keep things just because they might be useful someday? we are hoarders

Are you frequently in a bad mood? sorry... Do you ever fill out surveys while in a bad mood? I go through soooo many moods before I finish one survey Are you a fast or a slow eater? slowest among my friends, fastest in my house How old were you when you had your first relationship? no idea what I should call a relationship and what not Do you get dental checkups at least once a year? yup Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? mom, sister before she moved out Have you ever used chewing tobacco? tha hell? that’s disgusting!

Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? not applicable Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? hat Are you putting off doing something right now? If so, what is it? drying my hair, drinking water and going to sleep mostly

Are you like me and hoard notebooks and pens? pens now, I stopped buying notebooks... oh wait... no... I just got one because I wanted to save bees, nvm... Are you sitting in front of or by a window? What can you see out there? by, it’s dark but there’s my neighbor’s house Are there any coasters on your table? If so, do they have text or pictures? flowers Do you have a song playing in your head right now, too? not really Don’t you hate it when people answer to surveys with one word answers? lame *I realized I did that myself *facepalm* Ever watched a cat or a dog sleep and run/twitch in their sleep? adorable <3 What’s something we do every day but they don’t depict in movies? it bothers me that in fantasy/sci-fi movies there are no toilets and meals are rare

Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? in the middle, childish yet of an old person haha Do you usually carry a backpack, a shoulder bag or something else? shoulder bag or tote Do you wear glasses? If so, have you ever tried to fix them when they’ve broken? helped my dad fix his glasses couple of times Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? they don’t show up frequently

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tisfan · 5 years

Text

Strawberry Level Screw Ups

Contributors: @27dragons and @tisfan

Square: G3 - Poly Title: Strawberry Level Screw Ups Warning: None Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bucky/Tony/Nat Characters: Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts Tags: BSDM, Bucky’s been a bad boy, orgasm denial, threesome, oral, anal, vaginal, pegging Summary: Bucky had one job. ONE. He screwed it up. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20220649 Word Count: 7950 Posted for @winterironbingo

“Ms. Potts needs to speak with you, boss,” Friday said. “And I quote, like now, Tony.”

Tony grunted, reaching for his jeweler’s screwdriver, and threaded it through the tiny gap in Bucky’s arm to nudge the new gasket into place. “I’m kind of up to my elbows right now. Well, I’m up to Bucky’s elbow. Tell her I’ll be done here in like... two hours.”

“Tony--” Pepper’s voice came over the speaker, “this is a Strawberry level of screw up if I don’t see you in the boardroom in exactly twenty minutes, in a suit. I have been sending you reminders every two hours for the last three days, you have no excuse.”

Tony paused, glanced toward the clock on the wall. “Today’s Wednesday?”

“Same as it was last week, funny how that happens,” Pepper said. “Get. Up. Here. Now.”

Bucky blinked. “What’s a Strawberry level screw up?”

“It means I’d better get changed and get to the boardroom in the next three minutes or you’re not going to have a boyfriend anymore.” He sighed and closed the access panel. “I’m not done with this, so don’t let your arm get anywhere near any liquids until I can get back and finish replacing the gaskets and seals, got it?”

“Sure,” Bucky said. “I’ll go catch some television or something.” He stood up and tugged his sleeve down carefully until all that was left showing of his arm was the shiny fingers and about two inches of wrist and forearm.

Tony tugged Bucky down for a quick kiss, and then a second one-- “That one’s for Nat,” he instructed-- and then ran for the bathroom at the back of the workshop where he kept an emergency change of clothes.

To give Pepper credit, the meeting was both important and highly dependent on Tony showing up. The two minute brief was enough to get him on the right page and closing the deal with the Wakanda Science Academy was a huge feather in Stark Industries’ cap.

It also meant that it was several hours before Pepper had to nudge him to stop talking theory with Princess Shuri and let everyone go to sleep.

And even with Pepper’s gentle but insistent nudging, Tony and the princess kept throwing things back and forth as they set up a meeting for later in the week. Shuri was brilliant, snarky, and arrogant, so naturally Tony liked her enormously.

He was still on something of a science high as he made his way back to the penthouse, sparking off ideas in a continuing stream -- Wakandan tech powered by Stark reactors, the uses of vibranium as the fuel source for a reactor, relays twenty times faster than any other electronics on the market, with a third the interference, Wakandan processor cores in everything from Stark phones on up to server arrays... Friday’s servers would be exponentially faster and more powerful, and the things he could do for the team! He could halve the weight of Bucky’s arm, for one thing, while making it even stronger. He could integrate Wakandan shielding in everyone’s armor. And oh, the spy gadgets he could build for Nat!

He was humming happily as the elevator opened on the common room.

(more below the cut)

“Hey there--” Bucky said, looking up sheepishly. He had a soda in his right hand, took a long gulp of it before putting it down. “--glad you’re back. I mighta…” He stood up, displaying the left arm, which was tucked against his chest in a sling, the fingers completely limp. As Tony looked, a few sparks dripped out of the elbow.

“Oh, Christ, baby, what happened?” Tony rushed forward, cupping the base of the arm and leaning to look. “Are you okay?”

“A little technical difficulties,” Bucky said. “I… uh. Look, it’s way better now that I got the power deactivated, but I can’t move it. Do you think… maybe? We could fix it first an’ you can yell at me about it later?”

Tony froze for a second, then looked up at Bucky. “Am I going to need to yell at you about it?” Just as he said that, his hand brushed along Bucky’s elbow, and-- “Why is your arm sticky?”

“I thought it might make things worse to wash it out?” Bucky suggested, making a face. He shrugged, lopsided. “Ain’t--” More sparks glittered out of the elbow. “Heh, Stevie might like that, I look like a damn sparkler.”

Tony ignored that, bending further to look at the arm up close. “What did you get in-- is this ice cream? How did you get ice cream in your elbow?”

It was, perhaps, just bad luck that the elevator doors opened from the downstairs level, and Natasha came fuming up through the common room, holding-- an ice cream lid. “Someone ate all my ice cream,” she seethed, brandishing the lid. “My special, expensive. Imported. Ice cream.”

Bucky edged slowly behind Tony, like that was going to help.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Tony said. He reached back and snared Bucky’s sleeve, pulling him back out. “I told you that arm wasn’t sealed and you managed to get Nat’s ice cream in them? You are in so much trouble. I’m not even going to have to do anything, just stand back and let Nat at you.”

“I didn’t eat yer damn ice cream,” Bucky protested. “The grip’s off. I was gonna have like two bites, it’s the creme brulee, you know I like that stuff, an’... the container just sorta… exploded.” Bucky made a gripping gesture with his right hand. “Splurt, everywhere. I cleaned it up. Mostly.”

“Of course the grip is off! You’re missing like half the seals in there, including the ones that register pressure!” Tony sighed. “And now we have to do something about Nat’s mood before she starts destroying things.”

Nat sighed, running her finger through the melted bit of ice cream left on the lid, rather suggestively licking the creamy goo off. “I can think of a few things--” she said, and when she finished walking into the room, her hips had taken on that… sway. “You fix the arm, and then-- you will be punished.” She pointed a finger at Bucky.

Bucky swallowed, glanced at Tony. “Uh-- that kind of punishment?”

“Yes,” she purred. “Tony will be rewarded for all his hard work on your behalf, and I will be pacified.”

Tony’s dick seemed to think this was an excellent suggestion. From the way Bucky’s pupils were growing, Bucky’s dick seemed to be on board, as well. Tony reached out to tuck his arm through Nat’s. “Maybe our snowflake needs to learn the value of patience,” he suggested.

“I’m a goddamn sniper, there ain’t nobody on this team with more patience than I got,” Bucky protested. “What I need is somethin’ to eat an’ for my damn arm to not be on the fritz.”

“You eat,” Nat said. “You will need it. And you-- fix him, so he is not whining unnecessarily. Necessary whining is still open for debate. I will-- get set up. And no fooling around. I know you get a boner for tech, but keep it in your pants. I want him nice and… impatient.”

Nat bent over, offering a rounded posterior to Tony while she kissed Bucky, wet and slick and noisy, until he was panting hard into her mouth.

Tony let himself enjoy the view. How he’d managed to hook up with two of the hottest people on the damn planet, he wasn’t sure, but he was absolutely going to enjoy every single moment of it. He watched unabashedly until she’d pulled away from Bucky with a sensuous pout and sashayed out of the room.

Tony blew his breath out as the door closed behind her. “Whew. Okay, Klondike, let’s get you a snack and get you cleaned up.”

Bucky hadn’t looked away from the Nat as she walked away. “You know, she… uh, can be pretty cruel when she’s in the mood to play.” He slanted a look at Tony. “Better eat somethin’ yourself. And a whole pot of coffee. She’s gonna want you lively.”

“Yep,” Tony agreed. He started the coffee pot and rummaged in the fridge for fruit and cheese. “You can feed me while I work on your arm,” he said, and gestured at the kitchen table.

Bucky pulled the arm out of the sling, tugged off his shirt, and sat down, resting the poor, dysfunctional thing on the table with a thud. “Yeah, reckon I can do that,” he said. Bucky might sometimes be impulsive, and prone to reckless behavior, but he was also the most sexual person Tony had ever met. When the man put his mind to it, he could be downright weaponized.

Feeding Tony bits of cheese and fruit was a suddenly sensual activity. He poured one cup of coffee and shared it between them, making sure his mouth went exactly where Tony’s lips had been moments before, with rather a lot of suggestive looks.

If Tony wasn’t at least twice as good at tech as most people thought he was -- maybe even five times as good -- Bucky might have ended up with his arm glued on backward.

As it was, it took Tony longer than he’d planned to clean out all the half-dried ice cream and restore the arm’s functionality. Because Tony was, actually, still capable of at least a little rational thought even while aroused, he pointed sternly at Bucky. “I still haven’t finished with this,” he said. “We’re just back to where you were when I left this afternoon. So no more ice cream.”

“Pretty sure Nat’s gonna bolt me to th’ wall. Gettin’ ice cream in my fingers ain’t an issue,” Bucky said, and he gave Tony a wink. “Not sure what she’s gonna do t’ you. But it outta be fun.”

Tony washed his own hands and threw a smirk at Bucky. “Yes, it should.” He gestured grandly in the general direction of the bedroom. “After you.”

Nat knew the value of a good costume. More than the name and the fake background, putting together an outfit was the key to really becoming someone else. She knew what Bucky liked -- lots of personal attention. Hydra had treated him like a thing, never caring one way or the other if he liked a thing, or hated it.

They hadn’t taken any pleasure in his pain, it was merely necessary.

Tony, on the other hand, was completely playful in bed, sensual and attentive. It was, really, the best thing for Bucky, and she’d been thrilled, watching him blossom under Tony’s nearly awed adoration.

And what Natasha prefered, if she had to be honest, and standing in the middle of the bedroom, trying to plan a scene, she really did need to be honest, was having control.

Hmmm. That was an idea. She dug through her extensive wardrobe and put together an outfit. Of the things Tony actually liked, versus the things he thought people expected him to like -- Tony preferred competence and intelligence. Sexy librarian look it was, with a full kit of inappropriate lingerie underneath. She’d noticed that Tony liked thigh high stockings and garter belts. She left the blouse unbuttoned enough for the men to be able to see the edges of her bra, and the material was gauzy. It’d be see-through if it got wet.

The glasses made a nice touch.

She pinned her hair back in a tight bun; looking messy would come later.

Practical, just a little bit slutty. Well, one more button undone. A lot slutty.

That was her look taken care of. She dragged out the toy box and started assembling the heavy-duty bondage gear. Bucky’s super strength made normal ties and cuffs difficult. She wondered briefly if Tony would appreciate some of the uses to which she’d put his super villain restraints.

On the plus side, super soldier resistant -- and Hulk resistant, for that matter -- furniture was standard issue.

She hooked the stocks to the bed frame, and then sat primly in the straight backed chair next to the bed and waited for the boys -- her boys -- to arrive.

Bucky came through the door first, Tony right at his heels, close enough that when Bucky stopped moving to take in the scene -- eyes flicking over Nat, pupils widening, and then skirting sideways toward the bed -- Tony ploughed right into him.

“What the hell,” Tony complained. “Get out of the way, you big oa-- Oh.” He stared at Nat, wide-eyed and practically drooling already.

Nat very deliberately shifted, crossing her legs and letting the skirt ride up her knee to show off her thigh. “Did we have a productive repair?”

“We, uh.” Tony stared for a moment longer, then shook himself. “Yes? Yes. He’s got movement again. We should avoid any liquids on that arm, though.”

“Thanks again for all your-- effort,” Natasha said. She stood up and ran a hand over the stocks. “These, too. I borrowed them, sort of permanently.”

Tony followed the movement of her hand and blinked at the sight of the stocks. “So that’s where they went,” he said. “Huh. Okay.” He eyed them again, then turned to raise his eyebrows at Bucky. “Ready to take your licks, soldier?”

Bucky shivered, then nodded “Okay, yeah… yeah, I think so.”

Natasha let her lips spread in an interested, eager, creampot smile. “Oh, this is going to be fun. You-- strip. You-- come here, darling and give me a kiss, would you?”

Tony obeyed eagerly, pushing past Bucky to claim her mouth. He took his time about it, unhurried, slow and sensual, one hand cupped around her neck, the other tracing lightly up and down her arm. He didn’t pull away until the soft sounds of Bucky undressing ended.

Nat let herself soften; she didn’t have to. They’d taught her well how to let her emotions stay completely under her control, but Tony liked her soft, so she would be soft for him. “You are a very lovely man,” she told Tony, running a finger over his lip to make it tingle. “And you--” she turned her attention to Bucky, “--are a very bad boy.”

Bucky’s grin was rather unrepentant.

“What do you think,” she asked Tony, “facing out so he can see us, or facing the wall, so you can punish his ass as you see fit?”

Bucky twitched, his thighs clenching and his dick, already at half mast, swelled a little more. He was a beautiful man, Natasha thought. Different from Tony, but just as beautiful. She was, she decided, a very lucky woman.

Tony appeared to give it some consideration, eyeing Bucky hungrily, which only made Bucky even more eager. “I think he should see what he’s missing,” Tony decided. He leaned in to nuzzle along her jaw. “It’s a view worth watching.”

Natasha nodded. “All right--” She picked up one of her favorite toys from the box, a leather crop. “Two licks, to give you something to think about.” She walked around Bucky as if he was an item in the store she was considering buying and smacked that perfect ass twice, once on each cheek before ordering him onto the bed.

Tony took the crop when she was done, running his hand up and down it, watching, as if he was considering getting in a few licks of his own. But he didn’t say anything, just watched, smile teasing at the corners of his mouth.

Bucky climbed onto their wide bed, pushing pillows out of his way.

Natasha considered him, and then arranged him in a seated position, back up against the wall. He made a face at the temperature of the metal against his back. She placed his wrists in the cuffs, arms bent. Bucky gave her a smoldering look as she was crawling over him, getting him in place, and while she locked down the metal wrist, he leaned forward, licking her breast through the material of her shirt, causing one nipple to peak.

“Naughty,” she scolded, and apparently he was all in, because he raised his legs to wrap around the small of her back, tugging her down and making her sprawl inelegantly over him. “Very naughty. Tony, see if you can find-- there should be some leather sheathed chain and a good sized padlock in the chest, please. Apparently our bad boy isn’t vulnerable enough.”

“You got it,” Tony agreed. He rummaged in the chest for a bit. Being Tony, he got distracted once or twice -- “Oh, hey, now this looks fun, we definitely need to play with this sometime.” and “Okay, I don’t even know what this is. How do you-- Oh. Oh. Nice.” But after a moment, he brought her the chain and the heavy padlock.

He smirked at Bucky as he handed them over to Nat. “You’ve decided to earn every bit of your punishment, haven’t you?” he asked, amused.

Bucky nudged Tony with his knee, spreading his thighs appealingly wide. “Wouldn’t you?”

It took a few minutes of shifting things around to get the leather wraps placed so that Bucky’s skin wouldn’t get pinched between links. Uncomfortable was all good and well, unintended injuries were another thing entirely. She arranged the chain just above each knee, and then slid the whole thing over the stocks, pulling Bucky’s legs up in a sling, thighs spread wide, and all of him on display.

She locked the chain just to one side of his throat, and let the ends dangle down, rattling against the metal arm. “What do you think, a pleasing picture, yes?”

“Very pretty,” Tony agreed. He came over to the side of the bed to look Bucky over. He reached out with the tip of the crop and gently poked at Bucky’s balls, dragged the tip up Bucky’s cock. “Yes, very nice, indeed.”

Bucky twitched, let his head lean back against the wall, a soft moan coming from his throat. "Yeah that's very nice," he repeated.

Tony’s smirk stretched a little, and he popped the inside of Bucky’s thigh with the crop. Not hard, just enough to turn the skin red for a few seconds before Bucky’s supercharged healing made it fade away. “Be good,” he chided. He dropped the crop on the bed, where Bucky would be able to see it, the threat (or promise) that it held, and leaned over the bed to kiss Nat again, cupping her breast through the fabric of her shirt, teasing the nipple with his fingertips. “Where do you want me?”

Natasha considered it, shrugging one shoulder which let her shirt slide down.

“Oh, well, if you don’t have any grand plans, I say we start right here.” Tony sat at the foot of the bed, his legs spread in a V that almost mirrored Bucky’s, and beckoned to Nat. “Come here, sit where he can see how beautiful you are.” He drew her up against him, leaning back against his chest, and nibbled at her neck while he slowly unbuttoned her shirt, pausing to tease and toy with her, making her arch and squirm and sigh.

Of course she was beautiful. Like her strength, her cunning, her training. Everything, picture perfect. Sometimes, sometimes with her boys, she could almost feel that her wants meant something to someone. That they meant something to her.

Tony liked her, and he liked her to feel. Wanted her to let it go, the control, the plan. He liked it best when she didn’t have plans, when she just went with whatever felt the best.

She turned her head to the side, letting him make love to her neck. His hands slid across her skin. She loved his hands, the fingers callused, knuckles heavy. He moisturized like crazy -- she knew his skin care routine as well as she knew her own, but there were some things even Oil of Olay couldn’t hide. He worked with his hands.

Honest work.

She let him work on her. From the corner of her eye, she watched Bucky watching them. He chewed his lip, staring intently.

“Enjoying the show?” Tony taunted, sliding Nat’s shirt down and sprinkling kisses over her shoulders. “Too bad you’re all the way over there. You know how much Nat likes it when we’re both touching her.”

Bucky wriggled a little, made a little toss up gesture with his hands. “I’m not th’ one keepin’ you over there.” He shifted again and Natasha could watch as the muscles in his thighs flexed, clenched.

Natasha shifted her legs until she had her high heels tucked up against her thighs, spread her knees to let Bucky look straight up her skirt. Bucky moaned, stuck his tongue out at her childishly when he could tell she was looking at him.

She wasn’t actually touching herself yet. Yet.

Let him think she was.

“Do you like the glasses, Tony?” She twisted her neck to look at him over her shoulder. “Picked them out especially for you.” She kissed him, let her lips drag over his cheek, and the whole time, she moved one hand between her thighs.

“Of course I like the glasses,” Tony said. “Gives you that sexy librarian, hot-for-teacher vibe. Mm, that could be some fun roleplay sometime. What d’you think, Buck, hm?” He drew it out, twisting her nipples lightly, dragging his beard over the soft skin of her neck. “Sound like fun to you?”

“She does have kinda a shush you look on her face right about now,” Bucky confirmed. Natasha watched him watch her, the way his eyes moved slowly down her body to the hand between her thighs. She spread her fingers, knowing there would be too much shadow for him to see clearly. Moved her finger, down, and up. Mesmerized by the way he watched her, as if he couldn’t look at anything else.

“Well,” Natasha said, rolling the words around in her mouth, feeling them. She selected a few of them and gave them to Tony as a gift. “I notice Bucky’s checking me out, and I’m… feeling overdue for a little pleasure.” Bad puns and cheesy pickup lines. They were like catnip for Tony.

Tony laughed -- which was catnip for Bucky -- and said, “I’ll do my best to get you feeling Dewey.” His hand wandered down her stomach and teased at the edge of her skirt, toying with the tang of the zipper.

“You are impossible,” Natasha said, laughing. “That was terrible. I love it.” She arched her back, breasts thrusting up, letting Tony cup one. She liked this, the play, the sense that no one knew their lines, but they had a general idea of where they were going with it. The zipper went down a little, and then a little more.

“You know what I think,” Bucky said, like they were having a conversation. “I think Tony has waaay too many clothes on for this party. Like, I’m th’ only one bare-assed around here, that’s hardly fair.”

Hmmm. “Well, you know, he may be right.” She let the shirt fall away, and stood; the loose zipper showing off a few inches of her hip. “You are overdressed.”

Tony always looked at her like he wasn’t sure she was real; some fever dream that he was going to wake up from.

“Can I loosen your tie?”

Tony spread his hands in invitation, and tipped his chin up for her. As she leaned in to tug carefully on the silk, he said, “I’m stuck on how he thinks this is going to be in any way fair.”

Natasha chuckled wickedly. “Well, he’s still got his delusions.” She pushed Tony back onto the bed, hiking the skirt up to crawl over his thighs. “Besides, I can have so much fun with you, when you’re undressed.” She left the tie about halfway undone, and unbuttoned his shirt, showing a few inches of skin at a time. “I always like a man in a nice suit.”

Tony was elegant, image was just as much a weapon in his arsenal as hers. His skin smelled clean, his beard perfectly trimmed, his skin soft, supple. She nuzzled at his throat, hiked the skirt up again until the tops of her stockings were showing, the little strappy bits of her garter belt revealed. And she could spread her legs wide enough to straddle his hips, showing off her derriere to Bucky.

She gave a little wiggle as she settled over Tony.

Tony’s hands came up as if on autopilot, resting on her hips for a moment and then roving, exploring the curve of her ass, teasing down her thigh to toy with the garters. “I’ll dress up for you anytime you like,” he promised. “Or were you referring to my birthday suit, there?”

“I like the suits,” she told him, fingers working over his belt. “There’s something empowering about peeling a man right out of them.” She slid the belt out of the loops and bent to kiss his belly as she tugged the shirt tail out of his pants. “Do you like that, being half dressed, looking rumpled and knowing that I want to just eat you up?”

“Any man who wouldn’t enjoy that is a fool,” Tony opined. He reached up to brush his knuckles down her cheek, then went back to letting his hands wander. “Or a solid eight on the Kinsey scale.”

“Lift up,” and she scooted back to pull Tony’s pants down to his thighs, showing off silken boxers. She loved that view, eye level to a man’s navel and just looking up at him. It burned low in her stomach, keeping her warm. “He can’t see a thing right now, can he, he’s got no idea what I might possibly do to you--” She shifted, opening the little button on Tony’s boxers and drawing his length through the hole. “Hmmm?” She ran one finger down his skin, from crown to base.

Tony shuddered a little and dropped his head back. “You can do anything you want to me,” he said, breathless, “as long as you keep doing that.” He reached out to pet her hair.

“Yeah? Just like this?” She used just the tip of her finger, up and down his length, slow and easy, giving him her best cream pot smile, her mouth less than two inches away. He could probably feel her breath on his skin. Up, and down.

“Or maybe, this?” She met his gaze, smokey and hot, and kept eye contact as she lowered her chin, and took a long, slow taste.

His eyelids fluttered as he fought the urge to close his eyes. “Christ, Nat... Oh, god.” He lifted his head, peering past her at Bucky, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Doing okay over there, hot stuff?”

“Hell of a show,” Bucky said, and she could hear the click in his throat as he swallowed. “You two are the prettiest things, I swear t’ God.”

“You’re a damn fine sight, yourself,” Tony purred. “I am the luckiest son of a bitch in the whole-- ah!” he gasped. “God, Nat, that’s so fucking good.”

She twisted her neck, took in the head of his cock, flicking her tongue along the ridge. “You’re about to be,” she told him, and then rose up so she could swallow him down, stretching her lips around him, feeling the heavy weight of him against her tongue.

He groaned, legs quivering as he fought the urge to thrust up. “Nat, oh...” He rocked his head back and forth, each breath rasping through his throat. “God. I want to touch you, sweetheart, want... Want you to ride me, let me make you feel good.”

“We can do that,” Natasha said, her voice a little raspy as she pulled off him with a loud, lewd pop. She licked her lip, soothing the corners of her mouth. “I know you want me to leave the stockings on, you want the skirt gone, or just shove it up?” She sat back, reached behind her with one hand and unhooked the bra. Oh, thank god. The weight and easy swing of her breasts, free from that ridiculous contraption. God, she hated underwire. Stupid stuff. It did make her look good, though.

“Hmm, get rid of it. We can’t be depriving Bucky of his show, right?” Tony grinned at her and winked. Then he curled up, wrapping his arms around her and lowering his mouth to her breast, sucking and licking at her nipple.

Natasha arched back, practically bending in half to press herself closer to that clever mouth, that teasing tongue. Jolts of pleasure sped through her and she threaded her fingers through Tony’s hair, keeping his head right where it was.

For a long, blissful moment, she could almost forget that she’d been trained for this, selected for this, and just enjoy it for the pleasure it gave her, for the pleasure it gave her men. It was just for her, these perfect feelings. When she swore, fervently, it was in Russian, and Bucky answered her. In Russian.

“That’s it, kitten,” Bucky told her. “You know how he makes you feel, you love it, don’t you?”

She let go of Tony’s hair to tug impatiently at her skirt, get the zipper all the way down, and-- there was a sharp ripping sound at the seam gave way, but she didn’t even care, just off, off, off.

“Jesus,” Bucky murmured. “That’s hot.”

“That’s our girl,” Tony agreed. His hands slid down her sides, coaxing her to climb over him, to impale herself on his length. He brushed the hair back from her face, ran his thumb over her lips, almost incongruously tender. “Want to see you feeling good, gorgeous.”

She braced her hands on Tony’s chest, slowly lowering herself, wriggled to rub the head of his cock over her sensitive opening, then down, down, feeling him filling her up, stretching her out. When she was flush against him, his cock sheathed inside her, she leaned back a little, moving her hips in soft, easy circles. She waited until Tony made a sound, some sound, and then she turned her head to look at Bucky.

“Oh, come on,” Bucky complained. “Stop givin’ me the come hither look when you know I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

Tony turned to look at Bucky, too. “What’s wrong, snowflake? Don’t you like it when she gives you that look?”

How Bucky managed to give Tony a sardonic expression was rather impressive, really. “Wanna get my hands on you,” he said.

Tony drew in a breath to say something, Natasha wasn’t sure what he was going to say, didn’t care. She started to move over him, driving thoughts and words and reason right out of his head. Or, that was the plan; she knew Tony, the way he liked to overindulge in sensation, to make his brain shut up, and that’s exactly what she wanted to give him.

Tony groaned and gasped, letting Nat drive him to the brink. He reached between her legs, twisting his wrist to tease at her inner folds, short, firm strokes that matched her rhythm.

“Oh,” she cried, rocking her hips against him, feeling his thumb right where she wanted him, ached for it, needed it, and it was so, so good, so bright. She could-- she could--

Her toes curled, calves tightened, thighs clenched. Everything in her twisted up until she could barely move, barely breathe, and Tony kept right on rubbing, bounced her with expert thrusts of his hips.

She reached for it, like her orgasm was a physical thing she could force to submit to her will, and then it washed over her anyway, making her skin hot, cold, slick with sweat and simultaneously too warm, and wanting Tony’s arms around her, holding her tight as she shook herself to pieces. Keeping her together while she let everything go.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “You’re so beautiful, so perfect. I’m so lucky to have you.” When she curled down against him, he wrapped her in his arms, still whispering sweet nonsense against her hair. “I could watch that for hours.”

“Could you, now?” she wondered. “Roll me over, let’s try for twice.”

“Hey, you know, I could help,” Bucky suggested. “And you could watch.”

“You could,” Tony said, “if only you weren’t being punished.” He rolled them over so he was braced over Nat, smiling down at her. He kissed her, languorous and easy, his body rocking against hers. “Ready for round two, then?”

In answer, Natasha wrapped her legs around Tony’s hips, locking her ankles behind his back and yanking him down and into her. “Ready when you are.”

It was softer, that time, smoother. Tony rocked her, and rocked with her, like they had all the time in the world to just be together. She let her eyes slip closed, felt him, his steady weight on her, the way he touched her like he revered her. God, she loved him.

“Oh, look at you,” he purred, and the muscles in his arm and shoulder bunched as he leaned his weight to one side so he could brush his knuckles down her cheek, then trail downward to circle her breasts in a lazy spiral. “Isn’t she lovely, Bucky?”

“Always,” Bucky said, and she turned her head lazily to the side to watch him, the way he moved and twisted in the few precious inches of his bondage, his hips flexing helplessly.

“He’s quite beautiful, too,” she told Tony, as if Bucky wasn’t in the room. “We have ourselves a very pretty--” she groaned softly as Tony did something, moved exactly right, over her “--very pretty man. All ours.”

“Yes,” Tony agreed. He dipped down to kiss her. “You think he’s learning his lesson?”

She swiveled her hips again, spreading her thighs open, trying to get him deeper, until his pelvis rubbed directly over her, and -- “oh, right there--” Natasha shivered, feeling the pressure building up again, all her muscles went tighter. She drew a breath through clenched teeth, achingly aware of Bucky’s eyes on her, of Tony working inside her, the way both things made her powerful, and at the same time, vulnerable.

Giving herself to them was easy.

Letting herself take-- all that they offered and more. That was harder. Like lifting a building.

But she was getting there.

“Maybe,” she gasped. “We could check-- in just-- a minute.”

Tony hummed in response, his eyes intent on her as he focused on his movement, dragging himself over her and inside her, a constant motion, like watching waves surge against the beach. “Come on, darling,” he murmured, “let go, let me see you. I’ve got you, just let go...”

Natasha arched up until her shoulders and heels were the only parts of her touching the bed, practically throwing herself upward, her hands eager on Tony’s shoulders, and she was so-- so hot, soaked with it, aching with the heat of it, and then-- “Oh, oh,” and she was swearing in Russian, throwing the words out there, as everything rushed over her, wringing her out just like a rag.

When she fell back on the bed and Tony settled over her, she almost felt like she could go straight to sleep for a million years. So worn out and used up that she couldn’t have moved a single fingertip, even if the room was on fire.

“You are so beautiful,” she told Tony in Russian, knowing he spoke just enough of it to know she meant an endearment, even if he didn’t know what it was.

“I love you, too,” he said, smiling a little, and nuzzled at her jaw. He pulled out of her and stretched out beside her, propping his head on one hand as the other traced fanciful designs on her flushed skin.

He looked over at Bucky, eyes hot. “Mm. I... want to be fucked.”

“Great!” Bucky exclaimed. “You can come right over here and sit on my--”

“Give me a minute, tiger,” Natasha said, still trying to catch her breath. “I’ll get my strap-on.”

“I have a perfectly good dick right here,” Bucky pointed out.

“It’s a gorgeous dick,” Tony told him, eyes sparkling. “But I’m not sure you’ve earned the privilege of having us play with it.”

“Would it help if I said I was sorry?”

Natasha managed to sit up, flipping her neck to get most of her hair out of her face, the rest of it still plastered to her skin. “Are you sorry?” she wondered.

“Theoretically, I could be sorry,” Bucky said.

“Theoretically,” Natasha sounded out the word like she’d never heard it before.

“Theoretically,” Tony pointed out, “Nat and I could finish up and leave you hanging.”

Bucky took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about the ice cream,” he said. He was talking too fast for real sincerity, but Natasha knew that Bucky had a hard time with apologies. Too many of them had taken a toll on him, but he needed to learn, she thought. Smaller stuff. Not so earth shattering. “I swear, I was only gonna take like two bites. An’ I didn’t mean t’ screw up the arm, it just-- you know it feels real, I forget sometimes that it ain’t.”

“Flattering my tech isn’t the worst way to get back into my good graces,” Tony admitted. He looked at Nat, tipped his head questioningly. He knew as well as she did where Bucky’s limits were for this kind of thing. “What do you think, has he suffered enough?”

“I think he is,” she said, putting on her best fake-Soviet-spy accent that always made Tony laugh, “--how you say? Insufferable. But maybe we could play with his dick, just a little?” She held out her fingers about two inches apart.

“Yeah?” Tony kissed her again, then climbed over her to slide into the open space between Bucky’s thighs. “That could be nice. It is a very nice dick.” He made a show of examining it. “And very eager, it seems.” He ran a finger down its length.

Bucky shuddered all over, closing his eyes. “Oh, god, please, Tony--”

“Please is nice,” Tony said conversationally. “I like that.” He ducked his head and licked a broad, flat stripe up Bucky’s cock, root to tip.

“I like watching that--” Natasha said. She pushed Bucky’s knee, spreading his legs even wider. “Let me watch, right, up close.” Bucky practically stopped breathing, one of them on either side of him. Natasha met Tony’s gaze and they moved with perfect synchronicity, her tongue sliding over one side, and then meeting Tony’s mouth in a heated kiss at the top.

Bucky keened under them, his hips moving, trying to thrust up, fruitlessly.

“Mm, yes, that’s nice,” Tony agreed. He winked at her, and they did it again, slow and unhurried, heat and wet slide to make Bucky squirm, but not nearly enough to let him get any real satisfaction. “We could just do this for a while.”

“Yes, that might be nice,” Natasha agreed. “I mean, I am well satisfied… but how do you feel. You still want to be fucked, which I can do for you--”

“I am right here, guys,” Bucky said, his voice catching again, and then he wailed as Tony ran a teasing tongue over the head of his cock.

“Yes, you are,” Natasha agreed. “But I am asking what Tony wants right now. If he wants to be fucked -- by me -- while you watch, and perhaps he can continue to work you with his mouth. If he feels like it.”

“That does sound appealing,” Tony said. “You know how much I like to be in the middle.” He punctuated that with another flicker of his tongue, making Bucky writhe. Then he sat up a little. “Hand me the lube. I’ll prep while you’re getting strapped up.”

Natasha grabbed the lube, slick stuff, good for working with her toys. “And for him,” she said, handing him one of the flavored bottles. She looked through her collection; most of the various plugs and dildos and vibrators they used could hook into her belt -- one of the side benefits of having a genius who liked to design things as a lover. Tony was always adjusting their toy collection.

She selected one, red, that looked good against the black harness. Simple, smooth, a little tapered for the perfect angle, with a variety of vibration settings. She got out a few condoms, too, in case she decided to switch from Tony to Bucky. The boys liked that, sometimes. She eyed Bucky again. Well, probably not tonight, he was already looking a bit worn out. Tony had slicked him up with the flavored lube and then just… left him there.

Beautiful, desperate. And completely theirs.

Tony finished prepping himself -- he was faster and rougher, doing it himself, than either Natasha or Bucky were -- and tossed Nat a wink before getting up on his hands and knees, his arms braced against Bucky’s thighs. “Yeah, this will be good. Right, Buckaroo?”

Natasha lined herself up, getting on her knees behind Tony, testing the pliancy of the muscle with one gentle finger. “I have you,” she told Tony. Soft as it was, the silicone was still a little stiffer, less giving than an actual dick. She liked it, though, wearing it, feeling someone moving under her. Control. Dominance. For a few moments, she owned them, and both of her men were very responsive to it.

She pushed in, an inch, watching the red cock disappear into Tony’s ass. She kept a hand one one of his ass cheeks, gauging pressure by the way his muscles clenched. “There you go,” she said. “You should see this, Bucky, how eager he takes it.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, his head thrown back as Tony was slowly mimicking her motions, using his mouth to take Bucky in.

Tony’s mouth was too occupied to say anything, but he wiggled his ass at her, because Tony had to make his opinions known at all times. He bent a little farther, and Bucky’s thigh muscles tightened and jumped, desperate to move.

Natasha waited, pushed in a few inches, a bit more, and then thumbed the remote on her belt. The vibe started out slow, a gentle, teasing tingle that she could feel against the harness.

Tony groaned, and the vibrations of it made Bucky jump and whimper, hands flexing restlessly in their restraints. Tony moaned again, more deliberately, and arched his back, trying to get Natasha even deeper.

She met Bucky’s gaze over Tony’s back, him a little desperate, her cool and collected.

“You like it,” Bucky said, softly. “Being in control.”

“You know I do,” she said, and she turned the remote up a little higher, a steady thrumming pulse and she rocked in time with it. She knew she had it right when Tony started making pleasant little whimpering noises.

She did like being in control. Not because it let her control them, even though they would probably try their best to give her the moon if she thought to ask them for it. But because she’d had so little that was in her control, for most of her life. She did what she was told, took what partners she was assigned.

All this-- this was her choice. Her voice that mattered. Her men, who loved her desperately.

“And you love this-- being able to trust us, so utterly.”

Natasha jolted her hips, once, twice, three times, and Bucky closed his eyes, yielding to the friction and pressure and truth of the moment.

“Tony--” Bucky said, voice shaking apart. “Oh, god, Tony, love you, doll, oh, that’s so good--”

Tony moaned around Bucky’s cock, not quite limp but letting Natasha move him, surrendering to her control. It was one of the ways they fit together -- where Natasha craved control, Tony, whose extremely public face was nothing but power and control, needed to occasionally let go, let someone else take over. He leaned into Bucky, letting Natasha’s movements drive both of them.

Natasha put her hand on the small of Tony’s back, steadying him, and then turned the remote up again, just to the point of too much, wringing pleasure out of Tony, feeling it in her own groin, practically in her teeth. “There you are,” she said, stroking his back, his flank, his ass. She bent a little, reaching around his side to grip his cock in her hand, giving him pressure and friction, a fist to thrust into.

Bucky stretched, and she could reach his fingers over Tony’s back; it was a tight squeeze, but once Bucky had hold of her hand, he could pull her in, until they were all working in tandem for some impossible, improbable, and decidedly necessary goal.

Tony bucked into her hand, jolted back onto the dildo, every breath harsh, half-sobbing with need. It wasn’t much longer before his whole body went taut and quivering, his cock pulsing in her hand as he came.

Bucky squeezed her fingers, abs straining as he wiggled in his chains, and she watched him intently as his face went tense, eyes squinting shut. He was close, she could tell, and Natasha pulled her hand free of Bucky’s twined her fingers through Tony’s thick hair and tugged, forcing his head up and back. Tony groaned, deep in his throat, and Bucky arched again, the stocks biting into the skin at his wrists, and then he was shouting, harsh, heavy words in Russian that her own mind was too weary to translate; swears and profanities and sacred words all garbled together.

Tony swallowed, licking Bucky clean until Bucky was whining and squirming from oversensitivity. When Tony finally pulled off, it was with an obscene, wet sound. He rested his forehead against Bucky’s stomach for a short while, catching his breath. “That’ll show you,” he rasped.

“Truly,” Bucky said, “I feel extremely chastised, here.”

Natasha laughed and it jolted through all of them, and then remembered to turn the vibrator off. “Chastised? There was nothing chaste here.”

“And thank god for that,” Tony agreed. He didn’t lift his head, but he reached behind him until he’d found some part of Natasha -- her arm, as it happened -- and patted it. “You satisfied? Need more?” Tony was generally only good for one round. Bucky could go several, but probably not this time, with how intense things had been. But they were both careful to make sure she was fully sated, every time they fell into bed.

“I am quite excellent,” she decided. “And while Bucky still owes me ice cream, I believe he is quite repentant.”

“That’s what all the cool kids call it,” Bucky agreed.

She carefully withdrew from Tony’s body, and then unbuckled the belt, letting the kit fall to the floor. Cleanup later. She got the key and let Bucky down, found a spot in the bed relatively unoccupied by men or wet spots, and curled into it. Yes, she was… quite satisfied.

Tony helped remove Bucky’s restraints and dropped them over the side of the bed, then snuggled up against Bucky’s side, wrapping his arms and legs around Bucky’s like a particularly aggressive octopus. “Nap,” he decreed. “And then we’ll order more ice cream and I’ll finish fixing your arm.”

Natasha poked Tony in the hip. “Order ice cream now, it will be here when we are done napping.”

“Better do what she says,” Bucky murmured. “I’m too tired to be punished again, so it’ll be your turn.”

“That’d be a shame.” Tony didn’t sound very sincere about that. But he did follow it up with, “Friday? Ice cream delivery.”

“You got it, boss,” Friday agreed. “Have a nice nap.”

#winteriron bingo #WinterIronWidow #lemon #hard citrus

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mindbodycloset · 2 years

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welcome to the inside of my interesting mind

So. Hi. It’s your girl here, Whitney. i am sorta ready to bare a bit of my stories and soul online like a teenager. I was truly more so inspired to start blogging on here after part taking in reading again, I ordered “ OMG THATS ME! : bipolar disorder, depression , anxiety, panic attacks , and more “ by Dave Mowry . He was blogging I guess before publishing his books. I recommend it, even though I’m on chapter 2.

I’m soon-to-be 24, decent-looking with a nose piercing, tattoos, and fake copper colored hair with a pretty cool boyfriend and very supportive lesbian best friend. my life really ain’t all that bad. I have an on / off close relationship with my mother but mainly closest with my grandmother ( family wise ). Mainly my “ go to “ will always be my boyfriend and best friend because they are pretty much all ive got for the most part . so let’s just say my life aint sunshines and rainbows but it could be much more worse .

Periods of time my mind goes through highs and lows like roller-coaster. Before all else, I must warn you, there is profanity, strong views and long vents afoot. If you struggle with any sort of depressive trigger, please, for the love of God, do not read.

Anyway. As I was saying. The Episodes are certain times of certain days my mind likes to take a stroll down Manic Lane and turn left into Depressive Drive. I have a rare form of Bipolar , it's called Schizoaffective disorder which is a mental health disorder. Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition that includes features of both schizophrenia and a mood disorder such as bipolar disorder or depression. The prefix "schizo-" refers to the psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia that affect a person's thinking, sense of self, and perceptions. The term "-affective" refers to extreme shifts in mood, energy, and behavior.

I still feel pretty fucking crazy. I also have many different types of phobias but I’ll talk about that another point in time. So far I’m on two types of medication:

1. Aripiprazole 2. Sertraline

1. Aripiprazole:

It can treat schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and Tourette syndrome. It can also treat irritability associated with autism.

2. Sertraline:

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI)

Now, this bad boy is an SSRI. ‘What is an SSRI?’ you might ask. Well, in medical language, it’s a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. In normal English, it boosts the serotonin production in your brain to help you feel a little less depressed over your life. It can treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder. I currently take two of the same medicine but two different MG. I take a 50 mg & 75 mg to make it a total of 125 mg

Now, being on all of these, it’s a mystery how I can still feel like absolutely miserable over the littlest thing. I mean, I’ve got three little “happy pills” to try and keep my mentality stable enough so I can get through working at a day care school and trying to exist without killing anyone or myself.

Too crude?

Anyway, it sucks having to live with a constant reminder that you can snap at anyone, anytime, anywhere with just a normal, mundane but wrong word or action. But it’s even worse if that anyone is mostly the people who care about you. My boyfriend, persisting in a relationship with a girl that has her PMS on high the whole fucking month. It’s difficult to control and a pain in the ass to fix the consequences of. One thing about mental disorders - you can’t blame it all on the mental disorder. This is one thing certain people are fond of doing.

Not me.

I hold myself and my lack of control of my emotions accountable. This is exactly why I can apologize if I had been unreasonable, and it’s unfortunately become a bit of a habit.

“Sorry, I wasn’t able to reign in my anger. I’ll do better next time.”

My boyfriend - let’s call him Jay for now - being the trooper that he is, he really tries and reassures me that he understands when I have one of those days but at the same time it’s hard because he will down and insult me since he gets easily frustrated once not knowing how to handle a situation.

I also have my one close best friend I practically look at as my sister - Bee , who all accept me for who I am and have made it through plenty of battles by my side. We are so much alike we share everything. I don’t just mean clothes but actually everything. Matching tattoos, attitudes , matching disorders ( we are BOTH bipolar! Well not really. Just emotionally unstable ) . She’s actually borderline personality disorder . But even so we both have shared one ex boyfriend , again almost everything . She’s the Devil to my Angel. My one call and FaceTime away, literally we are always up each other’s ass . She’ll call just to tell me if her poop is a different color. We’ve kissed once for lgbt pride and and seen each other practically naked. This girl is my whole other half, knows me better then my own self sometimes.

All in all, this doesn’t summarize what my life is like - you’ll get a taste of every time I feel the need to take a metaphorical dump from eating everybody’s shit the whole day. Stay tuned!

#bipolar #bpd #bipolar disorder #story time

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dailydoseofdacre · 6 years

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Teenage Dirtbag

(iii.)

request: angst with make up at the end also going along with “Hey there! You’re probably drowning in these already but could I request a Billy Hargrove imagine where the reader is super nice and they become like this couple that’s “sweet enough to rot your teeth out or mean enough to knock your teeth out”? Xo”

A/N: trying my hardest to fulfill each request and post these daily (maybe twice daily since i get über bored). A lil heads up that (1) I’m sorry if this is crap so far and (2) this will maybe be a long chapter. Also, if you’ve requested an imagine and I don’t hit it exactly to the T, I’m so sorry. + this chapter did take me a long time to write,,, like a lot of editing went into this chapter.. hope you guys like it

word count: 3.1k+ das long.

The week flew by just as fast as one could blink, with only led to Billy’s two encounters being long thrown out the window and your life going back to the normal lonely one it was.

Sorta.

All week since your last conversation with Billy, you noticed that Billy’s gaze would lock onto you as you walked the halls. The new awareness Billy had harbored caused you to change your routes to classes, walking around the school rather than through the corridors; which benefitted you because you despised the looks and remarks while walking. His piercing blues would glare at you from across the field as you read and ate during lunch, Billy would lean onto his Camaro, a cigarette in his hand or mouth, chatting up his next victim of the afternoon. Though every so often he’d catch himself turning his head to check up on you, then returning back to his previous conversation with a dullness in his voice.

Not acknowledging the newfound attention one bit, you took the liberty of eating in the library. Of course, with a lot of pleases and I promise I won’t make a messes to Mrs. Lovinsten. In result to the sacrifices you made, you were pleased that you had successfully dodged the “God of Hawkins High.” Knowing that he was up to no good, both in school and as an attempt to take one humongous step into your life. If you had let him in, you were more than sure that he would tug the strings of your heart until you completely fell for him. Billy would make you feel like the only girl in the world until he got what he really intended to get. Then he would just dump you like a teenager would with trash: disgusted. And frankly, you didn’t want that to happen to you.

A sad smile would etch your face as you started to partake in reading love stories, wishing that one day you’d find your knight in shining armor. Not with Dan-your stepdad. You seethe to yourself, heart skipping a beat as you delved into the deep depths of your memories, always deciphering what the root of his behavior was. The given was the tremendous amount of alcohol he consumed, but what in Dan changed from seeing you has his own to treating you like he owned you?

Upon reapproaching the thought of your stepfather acting as he did to you, the interest to read the sappy Romeo and Juliet was slim to none. A small scoff releasing from your lips, scolding yourself for even considering that you’d ever find love. Taking a small bite of your sandwich, you then thought of what you wanted to do today, since it was Halloween. Lips tugging slightly as you decided that you’d stop at the local library and pick up two or three scary books, also keeping a mental note to pick up some candy on the way home.

Casting your attention from your sandwich, you hissed a crap as you recalled that your neighbor since infancy, Tina, would be throwing her Halloween party this evening. Only all of the students at Hawkins would show up— all but you, which would result in families avoiding your neighborhood due to the rowdiness of this generation’s teenagers. No one would want to trick o’ treat in a neighborhood of drunk and loud teens who listened to the horrendous screaming music. This caused you to reconsider taking money out of your personal stash to buy candy. Was it really worth it? You droned on to make a small list of what books you desired to pick up at the library.

“Hargrove!” David Fitz called out to the Californian, who tipped his head back and swiveled it to the direction of the voice, a cigarette laying between his lips. His elbows were rested upon the hood of his blue beauty as his torso gently sat on the bumper of it. As if on queue, the girls he was chatting up seductively said their good bye, Billies and see you tonight, Billies.

Waving the girls off, Billy awaited David’s presence, but fixed his posture as his eyes moved from David to your signature table, finding that Steve, his gal, and a couple other of his friends occupied it. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion and anger, Billy perched up and away from his car, dragging from his cigarette one last time before chucking it on the grass.

Brushing a puzzled David Fitz off, Billy staggered down from the hill that separated the field and the parking lot. He stopped before the field itself, intently scanning over every head that filled its grassy contents. Tongue glossing over his lips and a hand raking through the texture of his curls, Billy sighed deeply, wondering where you could possibly be. Absent? Skipping? Did you move? Ran away?

“Billy,” a pat on the back from Fitz snapped him from his train of thought. Concern etched David’s face before he raised his eyebrows, giving the Californian another slap to lift up his current state. Billy stared at David, lips parted slightly and his face radiating aggravation. “Ready for this party tonight? Heard there’s gonna be a shit ton of kegs there.” David picked up the conversation in attempts to raise Billy’s mood once again.

Before Billy could tell David to fuck off, the bell rang, signifying that the forty minutes of freedom the teenagers had at Hawkins was up, that it was time to trudge back into the school and resume to their classes. Surprisingly enough, Billy found himself within the sea of students that piled into the corridors of Hawkins High. He peered around the normal place that he’d spot you at, casually walking past him a book stuffed into your face. As people sped past him to get to their own classes, he assessed each and every face, and much to his dismay, you were yet to be spotted by the 177 cm bad boy. Billy growled lowly, padding his feet to exit the school and smoke in his car.

Bobbing your leg up and down impatiently, you stared down the clock, hoping that the last two minutes of the school day would finish. Your calculus teacher informing the class of what topics you were to be quizzed on Friday. Before he was about to inquire as to what plans his students had for the day’s particular holiday, the bell rang, dismissing everyone. All of the students scurried out of the class, hush whispers about Tina’s party and loud whooping tormented the halls of Hawkins High School. Getting up from your seat, you brought your calculus book to your chest, wishing your calculus teacher a safe and happy Halloween.

“Why, thank you, Miss (y/l/n).” He gingerly smiles before returning the gesture of a safe Halloween as well.

Head hanging low, you popped your head out of the classroom to make sure that the halls were completely empty. When you felt the Coast was clear, you stepped out into the narrow corridor, looking over your shoulder to ensure that it was indeed empty— that you could go to your locker with ease. Stopping in front of your locker, you allowed your eyes to do a double take one last time, finally giving your full attention to it.

Billy was leaned against the trunk of his car, staring straight ahead of him when he heard to sound of his stepsister’s skateboard nearing. Gnawing on his gum obnoxiously, he spoke to Maxine with such harshness and disgust at the sound of the passenger door opening. “You’re late again.” There was a massive strain in his voice, upset from Maxine’s tardiness and your disappearance.

“Yeah, I had to get catch up homework.” Maxine retorted, her tone not wanting to trigger her stepbrother’s temper, but still audible enough so Billy could hear her.

A humorless chuckle fled from his lips, a small snicker leading behind. “Jesus. I don’t care,” he paused. “You’re late again, and you’re skating home. Do you hear me?” He took the final drag from his cigarette and threw it on the floor, turning to open the driver’s door, throwing his bag in the backseat of the blue Camaro and slamming it shut. Within seconds of igniting the engine, Billy sped out of his parking spot, racing out of the school’s lot altogether.

After threatening to run over Max’s hick friends, Billy carried on to speed he and Max home, a mischievous smirk etching his lips as he remembered the one place he could catch you at. There had to be some reason as to why there was a new book that occupied your interest daily. It could’ve been that you had an extensive home library, but seeing that they were perfectly laminated with a color on the spine, it only led to one place..

Scouring the shelves of the local library, you bit your bottom lip softly, eyes carefully skimming each spine to find your final book to check out before going home. Your eyes lit up with such delight and passion upon looking up, finding Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, you whispered a soft aha. Due to your short stature, you had to go on the very balls of your feet to reach the shelf that the book teased you at. The grip that your teeth had on your bottom lip tightened a bit due to the amount of coordination, balance, and concentration it took to grab the book.

It was then a right hand with a distinctive watch swooped in and pulled the book in a swift movement. Your breathing hitched as dèjá vú terrorized your thoughts, Billy’s muscular body not daring to lay a single kilo on yours, right behind you to yet again, help you grab a book. All of your muscles stiffened, and you shut your eyes tightly, waiting for Billy to step back and hand you Frankenstien.

“Are you O.K., Doll?” Billy whispered into your ear, a menacingly playful smirk masking his face. You crinkled your nose at the mixed aroma of cigarettes and mint disturbing the welcoming smell of old books.

Your voice was gentle and soft, cracking as you managed to peep out a sentence. “What’re you doing here?”

“Where were you all day?” Billy spat back, his voice hoarse yet still low. His blues desperately wanted to adorn into the beautiful features of your face, but looked down at your hair instead.

Pressing your lips together, you stood silent, avoiding the question. In turn, then piping up, answering him with a question. “Why?”

Billy didn’t want to admit that your awkward and introverted personality attracted him, that he yearned to talk to you. Let alone convince you to go to Tina’s party with him. Butterflies tingled in his gut, what happened to the sexy bad boy? Where was Billy fucking Hargrove?

“Answer my question first.”

A soft sigh was all you could give him, nudging him off of you. Much to your surprise, Billy stepped away, the book still in his hand. Turning to face him, you felt your eyes cast down to his appearance. He looked as if he was ready to go to Tina’s party, causing you to gulp silently.

Billy tilted his head back in response to catching your eyes lingering on his bare chest, a black leather jacket “covering” his shoulders and torso. Ditching the light jeans that shaped his bum into a darker pair, finishing the look off with his signature boots. His lips curled up, eyes melting and sketching how angelic you looked through his long lashes as you guffawed at his outfit.

Both the smell of his breath and the old books were vanished, the smell of Billy’s alluring cologne taking over your nostrils. Blinking rapidly, you peeled your sight away from Billy, who smugly smiled a due to your acknowledgement of his new outfit. Heat arose to your cheeks and you already knew that your face was beet red and to suppress your embarrassment, you covered your face with your hair.

A frown plaguing your face and eyes staring down at your feet, you opened your mouth again. “May I please get the book, Billy?”

“What are you doing tonight, doll?” He ignored your question, hiding the book behind him in attempts to advert your attention to him. The attention he craved.

“Well,” you started, voice remaining at a small, gentle whisper. “When you give me the book, read it and then go to sleep.” Frustration was evident as your features contorted to emote that you just wanted to get the book and go home.

Huffing softly, you told yourself that you could just grab the novel another day, being that it would just waste up more shelf space in the next couple of days, despite Billy’s grasp on it. Muttering a never mind, you kneeled down to grab the other two books that were to be read this evening and spun on your heels, leave the Californian’s presence.

“Doll?” Billy called out, voice sounding as silky smooth as possible, a voice that made all girls’ legs turn to jelly. That would have the girls in his arms, smashing their lips onto his. All except you. Grunting, Billy called out your nickname once again, a bit louder. He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes, cursing himself mentally.

Luckily for you, Dan was missing this particular night, a note scribbled on the fridge informing you that he was going to be gone for the month for his annual truck driving gig. For one whole freeing month, Dan would be delivering whatever was in stock nationally. Hopefully he’ll take longer this time. You prayed to yourself, and jumped up in excitement, Halloween all to yourself and your books.

Kicking your shoes off, you shut the blinds from your room, eyes rolling at the sight of Tina hooking up with her boyfriend. Gross. You began to unbundle yourself, grabbing all of your garments to shower. Before falling under the warmth of the hot water the shower head was to succumb you to, you glanced at the two books on your bed, wishing you had snagged Frankenstein.

Coming out of the bathroom, darkness enveloped you, noticing it was a little past 8 o’clock, you silently scolded yourself for waiting until the hot water turned your navy polished hands into little prunes. Then again, you were a sucker for hot showers. Sliding into your slippers, you hugged yourself, rubbing your arms continuously in attempts to warm your body temperature. With no avail, you retreated to your silk robe, wrapping it around your frigid body tightly.

Shuffling out of your room with both books in your hands, you make your way into the kitchen, popping some popcorn to eat as you indulged into their scary contents. Upon placing the books on the couch, you gripped the bowl that held the warm popped corn, stuffing it between your crossed legs. Opening the first book, you lost yourself within its words.

Stifling a yawn, you looked at the clock on the wall: ten thirty. And just as you suspected, not a single family dared to knock on your door for candy. Although you were a bit upset, you were hypocritically a little grateful that no one that evening had disturbed your reading.

Well.

The party right next door was so loud you could barely hear yourself think, but all the while, you drowned out the music and loud teenagers like you always did at school everyday. Another yawn was earned, your body screaming for slumber. Closing the second book, you retrieved yourself from the couch, grabbing the now empty popcorn bowl and putting it in the sink. Your heart fluttered after hearing a crowd of young men shouting, chanting the infamous Californian’s name.

Upset that their rowdiness would give you troubles sleeping, you stepped outside, the rough October wind whipping in your face. Hugging yourself for extra warmth, you made your way over to Tina’s house, eyes looking out for her to politely ask her to keep it down. For one of the two reasons: you wanted to sleep and that the cops may get called on them. But you were only going to enlighten her of the latter.

Whooping and catcalls were thrown in your direction as you made your way into Tina’s, looking around for the host. You turned almost instantly when a hand grappled your bum, staring at Carl Rogers, who was stepping over your boundaries. “Looks like mouse knows where the party is.” A blush sweeping across your cheeks, you took a step back, intimidated by his statue like frame.

“Please don’t touch me.” You looked up at him through your lashes, looking everywhere but his hungry hazel eyes. A mocking chuckle erupted from the 185 cm jock, placing his meaty hands on your bum, squeezing it.

“Like this?” He glared down at you, his alcoholic breath fanning your face.

A small group had formed around the two of you, and with what strength you could manage to get out of yourself, punches were thrown at his chest. “Let go of me!” You shrieked, small fists beating his broad chest, to which did absolutely nothing to him.

Laughs were flooding the house as you struggled out of his grasp. Carl’s hand gravitated from your bum to grab a hold of both of your wrists tightly. Breathless, you stared at the beast, who mocked your previous pleads to be released. Your eyes began to water, which only led to more mocking and giggles from your cowardly demeanor.

Billy stared at the once King Steve, attempting to scare him off, showing him who was the real King of Hawkins. Nancy walked away from the staring contest, curious as to why there was a circle of teenagers laughing a mimicking what sounded like pleads for help. Her eyebrows scrunched together, pushing her way through her fellow peers. She gasped as she saw Carl Rogers harassing and bullying you.

“Stop!” You muffled through a sob as Rogers and the others continued to belittle your existence, throwing names and fake crying. Nancy escaped the crowd, tugging at Steve’s sleeve to gather his attention. Instead, the gesture grabbed Billy’s attention, the urgentness in her face explained that something was wrong. Swaggering away from the couple, Billy sauntered his way through the crowd, everyone moving aside so he could see what all the fuss was all about.

His eyebrows knitted at the sight of Carl Rogers holding your wrists, and Billy registered that you were in danger. When your teary gaze locked into his blues, Billy immediately ran up to Carl, who was about to pull the string of your robe off and threw a hard, nose cracking punch at him, his blood boiling and sweaty chest heaving up and down. Carl stumbled back, hands attending to his cracked and bloodied nose.

Billy stood over Carl, face hard and his features distorted in anger. “Don’t you ever fucking touch her.” Billy gestures towards you, which earned everyone’s gaze on your current state, cheeks tear streaked and red wrists, cowering behind him. Billy fixed his posture, head glaring at everyone with such hate. “I don’t want anyone touching her.” He warned louder, addressing the quiet teenagers of the house.

“Or you’ll deal with me.”

#teenage dirtbag #pt3 #billy hargrove imagine #fanfiction??#billy x reader #dacre montgomery #dacre #stranger things 2

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kendrixtermina · 7 years

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INFP vs. INTP - Another potential distinguisher in the form of “Venting Behavior”

So I read this post recently where the person observed that “Vent Songs” that sorta aim to rile you up or get you to join in are a Fe thing as is “venting” in general, even in lower Fe users.

Heck, I’m working on an entire Vent- Book at the moment

Of course one person saying it doesn’t mean anything but I’ve thought it over and I though I’m still observing for more data it does seem consistent with my experience so far. In particular it jives with my previous observation that “Hate Songs” & “Musical Pause for Shock value” seem to be lower Fe things.

Come to think of I saw some other distinguishing writeups mentioning “venting” as a distinction (during those embarassing 3 days a while ago where I briefly considered that I might be xNFP) but the full structure of the statement didn’t stand out to me at the time-

Some of these writeups weren’t exactly correct either (nor is the socionics conception of the inferior and how it would come in here... on the other hand, one concept from there that might or might not be relevant here is ‘role functions are a thing, especially with contact subtypes’), since most INTPs are enneagram 5s (5s generally prefer to process their feelings on their own or with some distance to the situation) - perhaps its different with the 9s (who’d have their own hangups tho) but it would probably not be accurate to say that “You prefer to talk out your feelings with others rather than be left alone” as the ore general Fe description goes.

So it’s more nuanced, complex & varied (as it often is with the inferior - because of its nature individual biographical factors matter a lot) and I daresay a great percentage of INTP’s aren’t going to be down for sharing (the 5 tendency would be to compartementalize/ have it on your own terms somehow - say, tell the whole thing to strangers on 4chan in all gross detail - indeed it seems to be a commonthing for ppl to dislike it if someone calls attention to their involuntary reactions to stuff. ) but there’s something to be said about “venting” being present as a general tendency even if it presents mostly as a “fuck you too” attitude.

This also reminds me of this socionics article where - as you may know they tend to conceptualize Fe as being about “changing & influencing the emotions of oneself & others” & in that contexts well Fe doms are very persuasive & good at cheering ppl up (or withering their souls away with judgemental glares, depending, presumably, on their mood and alignment) & at the other end you get “Can’t really change/regulate mood very well & may treat it as “fixed””( also “might benefit from having a lovely ESFJ to fix that & animate them” because socionics is the crackships fangirl of typology. Or you know, maybe thats my natural state of existing and there’s nothing to “fix” about it only to manage & read the instruction manual so to speak)

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So in that sense you could classify both INFPs and INTP (though there’s excetions) as largely fitting the “melancholic” temperament in its “slow but sustained arousal” definition (”Hard to get thm into a particular mood, hard to get them out of it”) - the INFPs because they’re largely doing their own thing independent from the rest of the room & tend to have long-term reactions, the INTPs because there’s a higher threshold to reacting and if they do they may be “stuck” with the reaction for a while

In hindsight I say that a lot like “Hey they can’t turn it off like a button, sometimes this shit dont make sense, what matters is wether they act on it” [= try to listen to rationality regardless]

I guess part of why this distinction isn’t really out there is that that the genereal gist of how our type’s emotional expression “Well they’re not very expressive at all”, which I suppose might be what some outside perspective might notice, but from a First Person pov this is a tad useless, after all you react when you feel a reaction is merited, same as everyone else.

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This isn’t really something I picked up on before reading that because I interpreted things from my own minset were “people obviously do that” & perhaps saw venting as more universal than it is, but in hindsight it seems overwhelmingly true that Fi doms don’t exactly vent or at least not start conversations like “Ughh this thing that happened” - Usually their emotional state is quite apparent, but it’s more indirect like you’ll notice in the kinds of comments they make & how they make it, sure they might talk to you further if you ask without too much pushing.

Even when they express it indirectly (art & sad blog posts) it’s more of an enclosed, just-for-myself thing telling very specific stories, like all those INFPs post their stuff with no thought that someone (like some Fe user (tertiaries included) who thinks they’re the police or something) may aprroach it and go “Wait do you mean to imply...?!” when that’s not the purpose of their statement.

(And I was aware of this tendency but I see it in a different light in the realization of how it’s really a different purpose. Also, I always though the subset of FJs who nonstop talk shit about people are the worst kind of FJs. Gotta be careful in the future that I don’t sound like that)

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I’m not 100% sure especially in how the TJs fit into this. Some of them can have little tolerance for “drama” or just read it as weakness (8), negativity (1w9) or ingratitude (1w2) though to some extent they’rejust not comfortable to people blowing reactions into the air. That might be enneagram based to some degree the one 5w(cp)6 INTJ I know drips dark sarcasm though more as a way to critique things than personal venting. Still reserving judgement

Or perhaps the difference is more in how the ‘feels discharge’ is supposed to happen - In that Fi users come from a PoV where one person tells their life & the other kinda sits there & absorbs whereas with Fe there’s an expectation of “reaction noises” which the Fi peeps may be annoyed at or...

I’ve had the situation where I tell a joke and my Fi dom sister stays quiet and I’m like “Sorry was that joke bad?” and she explained that she was just reacting inwardly but totally listening.

Another thing I’ve observed is Fi users getting worried when their favorite TP is having a sucky day and goes “AAGHH EVERYTHING ALWAYS SUCKS!” and just voicing that kinda discharged the battery and snaps you bad to SenseMakingMode where they’re able to put the local little annoyance in context, but the Fi user will be all worried because they assume it’s a long-term thing that’s always under the surface because that’s what their feels are generally like.

#mbti #intp #infp #fi vs fe

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foxfyrez · 3 years

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Chapter 8: He’s A Flirt

Axel and Silent walked towards Antonio's restaurant as Silent noticed Axel's eye kept flickering from blue to red. She knew that would be trouble for her if he started acting up at the diner. Hopefully, he didn't do anything crazy. "I gotta get in touch with Junior to fix you up," Silent mumbled.

Axel whined, nuzzling Silent's hand with affection. His tail wagged slowly, crouching down in a playful stance and bounding off down the road towards Antonio's.

Silent took off after him, yelling for him to slow down. Silent was fast, but today she felt super exhausted after spending the majority of last night trying to patch him up. She had no clue what she was doing because she's never messed with programs and parts before.

It wasn't a pretty sight to see Axel malfunction in the middle of repairing him, and he sorta wrecked one of the Duke's soon to be built cars. The Duke was not happy.

Once Silent reached the establishment, she caught her breath. "Goddammit, Axel, I'm tired! Please wait for me!" She felt Axel nudge her hand with his muzzle before nipping at her fingers harshly. She yelped, yanking her hand away. "Ow!" She looked down at her fingers to see they were slightly bleeding.

Axel barked at her, wagging his tail and crouching down in a playful stance again.

"Bad dog! That hurt!" Silent scolded him, wiping her fingers off on her jeans. Her fingers were still bleeding faintly so she settled for wrapping it up in her cloak for the time being. "We need to get you fixed up." She looked at him with a tired look. Maybe this happened when Crater threw him into a wall a few days ago.

Axel tilted his head, waiting for Silent to follow him into the diner. His long tail thumped on the ground patiently. He was sitting in the middle of the entrance of Antonio's Restaurant, scanning the area for a perfect booth to sit at.

There was a booth located right in the middle of two pillars that could fit him and Silent perfectly. It looked spotless, and it seemed like no one was gonna use it for a while. It was a pretty good choice.

Silent noticed him staring at something, "Axel, what're you doi-" she got cut off by Axel, who bit down on her sleeve and yanked her towards the booth. She stumbled, "Slow down!" She ordered, but he still kept on going. She dug her heels into the floor, trying to deter him from going any further.

Apparently, that action made him mad as he turned his head around, growling at Silent. His eye was beginning to glitch out again. He looked like he was going to pounce on Silent if she didn't do what he wanted.

Silent bit her lip and started walking towards the booth that Axel had picked out. She didn't want Axel to start a scene in the diner so she went along with his plans for now. Reaching the booth he had picked out for her, she sat down on one of the ends, letting Axel chew on her cloak's sleeve (at least he wasn't chewing on her arm).

"Hey what can I get- oh, it's you Silent." Riley waved at her. She looked down at Axel to notice that he was biting Silent's sleeve. His eye color was a bright red which reminded her of the original programming that Axel had. "Is... Is Axel alright?"

"No, he's been bugging out ever since Crater threw him against a wall. I'd advise you to stay away from him until he gets fixed. His mood changes a lot, and he's in a very bitey mood." Silent showed Riley her fingers. "I don't know what's wrong with him."

Axel heard his name being called, and he looked up from chewing on the sleeve. He spotted Riley, his eyes flickering to blur as his tail wagged in excitement. He went back to chewing.

Riley inched away from the dog, pulling out her notepad to take Silent's order. "So you want the usual?"

Silent looked at the menu for a moment, deciding to ask a question. "Do you guys have anything seafood related? Like just shrimp or squid or like fried fish sticks? I'm craving some seafood. Oh, and I want a vanilla milkshake!" She put the menu down, resting her chin on her hands. Looking around the restaurant, she noticed that it was busier than usual. "Is there an event happening right now? Why are there so many people here?"

Riley jotted down some things onto her notepad, "The Mama's Boys dropped by for a visit and a few people here are their fans, I guess. Those fans called other fans, and now it's swamped. I'm surprised you didn't notice your loverboy's car parked right outside. It's hard to miss with its design and color scheme."

Silent looked around the room to see that there were a lot of people crowding around certain tables which probably had some of the Mama's Boys at them. "Huh, didn't know they had fans considering the type of shit they do. I guess people like Junior even have fans." She tapped her fingers on the table. "Stop calling him my loverboy." She said bitterly.

Riley stood there, looking at the restaurant. "Ya know, Junior has a ton of fans. I was surprised to see him flirting with them. I was totally expecting him to get turned down, but I guess not."

Silent looked at Riley, "Wait, you mean he can flirt? You mean the short fuckboy can actually flirt?"

Riley snorted, "As I said, I was surprised too. Here watch this." Riley pulled up a video screen, pressing play.

The video started with Junior trying to flirt with one of the Amazons. Silent didn't know who it was because she's never met them before, but she guessed it was their leader. Soon Junior tried talking to her and for a while, she listened to him. Then she said something to him, and his face fell. It made Silent burst out laughing as Riley closed the video.

"Oh my god! She totally wrecked him! I've never met her before, but she just promised to snap his spine!" She held onto her stomach as her head rested on the table. "I would have paid to see this!"

Riley held onto her tray. "Dude, that's not even the best part! Like so after she said that to him, he looked at her and went 'please' in the tiniest voice ever. Silent, I lost my mind, I couldn't stop laughing."

Silent thought this day couldn't get any better. "Holy shit! Oh my god, don't tell me he has a thing for that? Wow, now I can totally use this against him whenever he tries to flirt with me again!" Silent had to move her mask to the side so she could wipe the tears from her face. Once she and Riley settled down, she took a deep breath. "I cannot believe he said that."

Riley stepped away from the booth, "Well he did, and I recorded it." She looked at Silent thoughtfully, placing her pen to her lips. "Say, are you and Junior still together?"

Silent's mask looked confused, "We were never together in the first place? Why are you asking?"

"I thought you two were dating! You both seem lovey-dovey with each other!" Riley gasped. "You guys would make a great couple! Hey, I can ask Junior if he wants to date you. He is at the Smoothie Bar." She pointed over behind her where Junior sat talking to his fans.

Silent sputtered, "No! Don't you dare! We are not lovers, and I highly doubt he likes me since he flirts with every person that shows him the slightest hint of attention."

"You sound like you're jealous."

"Riley, just go get my order."

"Alright, see ya in a few. Try not to get jealous of the fans keeping Junior from you!" Riley sprinted away from Silent's wrath.

——————————————————-

Now that Silent was alone again, minus Axel who was still chewing on her sleeve, she had to think about why everyone assumed she and Junior were a couple. It made no sense! They were just friends is all and besides, Silent made no plans to date anyone when she arrived in Motorcity. It was actually a rule she had to follow whenever she went out on her hunting jobs. If she had fallen for someone and they felt the same eventually she would have to leave when she finished her hunts. With the amount of work she has, long-distance relationships don't last very long. Sure it does get lonely sometimes, but she can usually keep going by herself. And now, she has a robot dog to take care of.

She started thinking about what made Junior so interesting. There had to be something that drew her in, and she knows it's not his personality. Just because he was cute didn't mean she wanted to hold his hand and kiss his dumb face, right? Or like talk to him about random shit and listen to music together? That's what friends do, and they were friends. There were times she wanted to strangle him for his behavior of mistreating robots, and other times she wanted to just hold him close and— wait, hold the fuck up.

It dawned on Silent that she probably liked Junior more than a friend. She held her head in her hands. "This cannot be happening! There's no way in hell I have feelings for that loser! No! It's gotta be a misunderstanding, yeah!" She whispered to herself in denial. Maybe if she hit her head hard enough against the table, she could knock some sense into herself.

"Feelings for who?"

Silent jumped, looking up at whoever happened to witness her dismay. Turns out it was one of the Mama's Boys staring at her with a smirk on their face. She didn't know all of their names, except for Junior, so she struggled to try to come up with something.

This Mama's Boy had a bandage across his nose. His red cap was placed sideways on his head, covering his brown hair. He was a lot taller than Junior, well all of them were and built like an ox. He looked like he could snap Silent in half if he wanted to.

"Uh.."

He noticed her struggling for his name. "My name's Chad. I'm pretty sure you know which gang I'm from." He stared down at her, glancing to the Houndbot by her feet. It looked like it was chewing on something, but Chad couldn't tell what. "Hey, your dogs got something in his mouth."

Silent sighed, "Yes, I'm aware. He's just chewing on my sleeve. He's kinda malfunctioning. I was gonna call your brother to fix him, but Junior hasn't been picking up any of my calls recently."

Chad laughed as he sat down on the opposite side of Silent. He put his hands behind his head. "Well, he's been pretty busy lately due to some unexpected business. Also, his fans won't give him some space since we've been here." He glanced back towards where Junior was at the Smoothie Bar being trapped by his fans.

Silent looked over there, spotting the shortie talking up a storm with the crowd around him. He looked like he was flirting due to how smug his face looked. Rolling her eyes, she began to mutter, "I still can't believe he has fans. He's too goddamn short to even reach the barstool without help."

Chad snickered, "You're right. I think he's got a box he uses to get on some things higher than him." Now that Chad was talking to Silent, he could now see who Junior was always hanging out with when they weren't working. He thought it was that kid who kept yelling his own name when he hit things, but it's a girl apparently. He thought it was strange because Juniors not been very popular with the ladies, except for those in his fan club. He decided to examine her more.

"He probably has a booster seat in his car."

Chad snorted and looked at the dog near his feet. "So how's the Houndbot doing? Since Junior gave him to you for some reason, I've been wondering if he gave it to you because it was bugged or something. Junior never really explained why."

"As I said before, I think he needs a tune-up. As you already know, I'm a fighter, not a mechanic so I have no idea how to fix him. None of the Duke's mechanics will take a look at him because they're afraid of us." Silent shrugged her shoulders.

Chad looked at the Silent for a moment, "Who could be afraid of you? You're so small." He joked before looking at the dog by his shoes. "I could take a look at him if you want."

"I thought you hated me? Why would you want to help me?" Silent asked. She didn't have a good relationship with the other Mama's Boys because she's never had the time to befriend them. She's only made friends with Junior because he's the only one to approach her again and again.

"Because you're not as bad as I previously thought. If you can handle Junior's shitty personality and behavior, then you're good in my book. I don't know about the others though." Chad answered back, leaning on the table.

Silent didn't know what to think. She personally would rather have Junior look at Axel, but he's busy at the moment. She looked at Axel, contemplating her answer before nodding her head. She glanced at Chad to see he was being honest with her. "Ok, please fix Axel. You better not fuck him up or I will personally come after you."

Axel stirred upon hearing his name, and he looked at the man kneeling beside him. His eye changed to red, growling at him.

Silent leaned over and rested her hand on his head, stroking him softly. "No Axel, it's ok. He's not going to hurt you, he's going to try and fix you up." Her voice soothed Axel's nerves as he dropped his guard. "Good boy."

Chad whistled, "Damn, I can see why Junior let you have him. You can control him with just your voice." He began to open up Axel's side panel and took a look at the components inside. "So, what's he been doing that's causing you trouble?"

Silent stretched out in her seat, "He's gotten very hostile towards everyone, even me. He's been snapping at everyone, and I'm tired of getting chomped on. It hurts." She showed Chad her arm which was covered in bites. Her fingers stopped bleeding thankfully.

"Oh, that must suck. I've been bitten by Houndbots before, and it stings like a bitch. Considering Axel is rather large for his size and mutated, his bites must be extra painful." Chad inspected her arm for a moment before returning to the task at hand. He opened up some screens to take a look at some programming. Scanning through the stats and diagnostics, he found the problem. "I think his programming is trying to revert itself to its original state, ya know like before we took out Kane's programming. I can try to disable it." He announced, taking a look at Silent to see her holding a milkshake in her hands. "Where'd you get that?"

"I ordered it. I was supposed to get some seafood with it, but there's been a problem with my order so this is all I get." She replied, lifting her mask so she could take a sip.

"I want one."

Silent stuck her tongue out, "it's mine. If you can fix Axel for me, I'll buy you one." She spotted Riley wiggling her eyebrows from behind a pillar that was next to their booth. Silent glared at her for making assumptions about something happening between herself and Chad.

And now Chad could see why Junior was so smitten by Silent; even if it was just a small portion of her face exposed, Chad could tell that Silent was kinda cute. Apparently Junior had seen half of Silent's face, and he was hit by Cupid's arrow right through the heart. Chad smiled, "You know, I can understand why Junior talks a lot about you now. He thinks you're pretty cute, and now that I can see what you kinda look like, I totally agree." He bluntly stated, trying to fix the dog's programming. He greatly enjoyed the noise that Silent made when he made his statement.

Riley started snickering behind her tray.

Silent's face felt warm as she pulled down her mask and hid herself in her hands. "Please don't hit on me! I deal with this enough from Junior!"

Chad snickered. He couldn't believe that Junior had the gall to flirt with the Duke's bodyguard. The same bodyguard that kicked their asses the first time they met her. "I'm surprised he hasn't tried to ask you out on a date yet like he's done so with many other people." He clicked on some commands and closed the panel back up. "Alright, he's been fixed. If he starts acting funny, don't hesitate to call." He sat back across from Silent.

Silent looked down at Axel's eye, seeing it was a bright blue color again. She smiled in relief, leaning down to pat his head. "Thank you! Now as promised, I'll get you a milkshake." She looked at Riley, who nodded and walked off.

"So what caused Axel to malfunction? He's a pretty sturdy bot so it would have to take a large force to mess him up." Chad asked, watching Silent as she sipped on her milkshake. By this time, Silent had officially moved her mask to the side of her face (it was still covering half of her face though) so she could drink the milkshake in peace without having to readjust it constantly.

Silent blew a bubble into her milkshake, watching as it formed a bubble and popped. "Crater threw him against a building, and I guess it broke something from the impact." Silent shrugged.

"Man, Crater sure does hate you. I've never seen him actively go after someone other than you before. Well, there is Squall from the FoxFyre gang, but he doesn't go out of his way to attack him as he does with you. What did you do to piss him off?" Chad asked, glancing around the establishment to keep his mind occupied.

"I think it's because I beat his ass. You saw it happen." Silent replied. "Apparently his whole gang wants me dead except a certain redhead." She took another sip of her drink again.

Chad nodded. So she's made friends with the redhead from the Electroblades... that could prove troublesome for Junior. He was still trying to figure her out. He could see why his brother liked her. She didn't push him away like most of the people he's flirted with. Maybe she felt the same towards Junior but didn't know how to show it? "Huh.."

Silent looked at him, confusion etched on her face. "What?"

"Juniors really fell hard for you, and I have to agree that you're something special." He placed his hands on the table, leaning across it. He softly chuckled, seeing her hide her face behind her mask. "Your mask is telling me how you're feeling, you can't hide it." He pointed out.

Silent hissed. "Stop calling me cute! You haven't even seen what I look like, you've seen like part of my face. It doesn't count!" She crossed her arms and looked away from him.

Chad sat back down in his seat. "Well from what I've seen, you're very pretty. I would like to know what you look like from underneath the mask though. Maybe one day..." he trailed off. Thinking back to what Silent had said before Chad had introduced himself, everything clicked into place. "I get it now."

"Huh?"

"What you were talking about earlier before I arrived." He crossed his arms, nodding to himself. "You like Junior."

Silent's voice caught in her throat. She bit her lip to contain all the noises that wanted to spill out from her mouth. "Why does everyone keep saying that?! I swear to god I do not like him. There'll never be a chance in hell. Y'all just imagining it."

Chad raised a brow at her statement, "Ya sure?"

"Yeah totally. It's never gonna happen."

"Well, that's a shame. He's very fond of you." Chad stated, glancing over to the Smoothie Bar to see Junior making his way over to their table.

"He flirts with anyone he can. I doubt it, Chad. Here watch this video that my friend sent me." Silent pulled up a video screen and pushed it over to Chad, who pressed play. "He spends his time flirting with Foxy so I don't believe he likes me like you think he does." She said as he watched the video, snickering at the end of it and closing the screen. Silent moved her mask to the side again so she could take a sip of her milkshake.

"Well, I do admit that he does flirt with Foxy a lot, but he doesn't stare at her the same way he stares at you. He's head over heels in love with you." Chad stretched his arms above him. "Sounds like you're jealous of Foxy too."

"No, I've never met Foxy before. Why would I be jealous?" She rolled her eyes.

—————————————————

Junior had noticed one of his brothers was missing from their little hangout by the Smoothie Bar. He looked around for Chad, spotting him at a booth with some girl. "Well, would you look at that? Chads got himself a girl." He laughed.

The other members of the gang looked where Junior had pointed and started cackling. One of them (the one with the glasses and teddy bear in his overall's front pouch) leaned in close to Junior and whispered something in his ear.

Junior's carefree expression faltered. "Are you sure?" He looked at his brother in annoyance.

His brother nodded.

Junior grumbled, jumping off the barstool and headed on over to meet up with Chad. As Junior walked past random people, he spotted a familiar-looking Houndbot resting beside the booth his brother was at. He recognized it as Silent's dog.

The Houndbot stirred awake when something got too close to its territory. Once Axel recognized who it was, his tail started wagging.

Junior put his finger up to his mouth to shush the dog, hoping Axel would understand him. Thankfully, he did. He walked closer to them and found out the girl indeed was Silent herself. He noticed her mask was on the side of her face, allowing her to drink her milkshake. She looked very pretty— wait a minute.

Junior stopped dead in his tracks for a moment to process the thought that he just had. Well yeah, she is pretty, but he usually never went after the same girl for this long. He usually got bored and went after a new target. But for some reason, he liked to tease Silent. Liked getting her flustered, liked hearing her laugh, liked her voice, her personality... he just liked everything about her. Oh hell no, he had fallen in love!

"Pardon me," A waitress said and pushed past him to deliver a drink to their booth. She set it down in front of Chad.

Junior's face felt warm, and he shook his head to get rid of the thoughts plaguing his mind. "I do not have a crush!" He repeated over and over again under his breath. He walked right over to their booth and slammed his hands on the table, catching their attention. "Well, what do we have here? You guys on a date?"

Silent jumped at the sudden noise, banging her knee underneath the table. She glared at Junior while holding her knee. "You asshat! That hurts!"

Chad slurped on his drink, avoiding eye contact with his brother. If this was gonna play out like Chad wanted it to, he had to avoid pissing off his brother at all costs.

Junior snickered, glancing at Chad who wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"We're not on a date. We're just talking." Silent replied.

"About?"

Silent remembered what Chad had said to her, and she looked to the side. She was probably blushing, but she couldn't help it. "Nothing, go away fuckboy."

Chad choked on his drink and started laughing. "She—she just called you a fuckboy!" He held his stomach as he laughed.

"Shut up!" He snapped at Chad while bringing his attention to Silent. He leaned closer to her, smelling the scent of vanilla that came from her milkshake. "I'm not a fuckboy."

Silent smiled mischievously, "oh that's right. You can't be one if you've never fucked anyone. My bad, I forgot." She leaned back to avoid getting punched in the face.

Chad laughed even harder now, gripping the table for support. "Holy shit, she got you good!" He was going to get in so much trouble for this, but it was absolutely worth it.

Junior growled, grabbing Silent by the front of her cloak. "Shut up!"

"Aww, are you mad because I called you out? It's ok, not everyone can get laid. Don't feel bad about yours—" Silent got cut off when Junior punched the seat cushion beside her. Yeah ok, he was pissed off now, maybe she should stop before it was too late. She held up her hands in a defensive stance. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry."

Junior gave her a death glare, "You better sorry. I would not hesitate to punch you." He threatened.

"Hey, no need for violence. She was just joking. Take it easy." Chad recovered from his laughing fit and stood up to stop Junior if he needed to. He could hear Axel’s low growling.

Junior cursed, lowering Silent back down into the booth. He let her go and crossed his arms. "Whatever."

Silent looked to the side and scooted to the middle of the booth in case Junior wanted to sit down.

Chad looked between Silent and Junior, sighing in annoyance. "Hey let's not let this sexual tension get everything weird, talk it out." He just opened up another issue.

Silent glared at Chad. She knew what he was doing, and there was no way in hell she would allow it to come to light. Her feelings that is, she wouldn't allow Chad to reveal her feelings for Junior. "Shut up, Chad."

Chad smirked, "Why don't you tell him? It's a perfect time to."

Junior looked back and forth from Chad to Silent in confusion. "Tell me what?" Junior had sat down on the edge of the booth.

"It's nothing." Silent replied, having a staring contest with Chad.

"I'm sure Junior would like to hear it."

"No."

Junior groaned, "For fuck's sake, just tell me!"

"Silent has the hots for you!" Riley blurted out; soon covering her mouth with her hand and fleeing the booth.

"RILEY!"

#dreaming of motorcity #fyrez writes

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