#sorry this post is a little heavier than what i usually post on here but i just felt like i really needed to say this

[steakout-05]

//ableism mention tw

ok just gonna say something really quick: i absolutely hate Abe's characterisation in the reboot of Clone High because it is nothing like how he acted in season 1 and it just. isn't funny. they've turned this good-intentioned but flawed loser kid who just wants to be like the original Abraham Lincoln but doesn't know how to, into a self-centered and arrogant asshole who literally almost said a horrible ableist slur twice in the first episode. like. i'm being serious, he almost says the R-slur twice in the same minute and i dunno about you but i really don't find it very funny when a) the only "joke" behind it is "oh look at how bad Abe is compared to the more progressive sensitivities of the new generation of clones, isn't he just terrible", and b) they felt the need to completely rewrite a pre-existing character that fans are already attached to to do something against his own morals for the sake of a shitty joke, and c) TOPHER WAS RIGHT THERE!!! isn't he supposed to be the asshole or am i missing something?? like...

i'm not saying you can't have "edgy" or "dark" comedy or whatever, but personally, i don't find it very funny when a character that actually means quite a lot to me and is one of my favourites is twisted and rewritten into an arrogant asshole in an apparent attempt to appeal to the people who hate Abe for his flaws in the original show. especially when he's rewritten to be someone who would say a slur that's literally been used against my fellow disabled peers, myself included. it just feels... wrong. it actually hurts a lot to see a character i once loved and found to be one of the funniest and most important characters in the show be turned into an arrogant dick, with barely any thought or meaning put into him. i don't like what they did with the rest of the OG cast as well (such as Joan making a complete 180 in her entire character, JFK's character assassination, the removal of Gandhi, Cleo barely being in it etc.), but to me, they did Abe the dirtiest in this season and i'm really disappointed that one of my favourite shows had to continue like this :(

#clone high #abe lincoln #rant #sorry this post is a little heavier than what i usually post on here but i just felt like i really needed to say this #abe from clone high is actually quite an important character to me and i'm still upset that he's been written so poorly in season 2 #like he's a silly parody of a teen drama protag but honestly i think his struggles in the original series are actually really meaningful #like he's a little shy and doesn't exactly know how to express his ideas in the best way but wants to help and i just think that's so real #especially as someone who struggles with that myself #he has so much pressure to live up to the OG abraham lincoln and he really wants to be like him and tries but doesn't get it #i mean he even says something like that in episode 2 when joan and gandhi come to see him in his room and that's really relatable #so to see him so horribly misinterpreted as a selfish asshole really hurts me. #they've essentially done the thing where a fandom will tear apart the neurodivergent coded character #and write them off as selfish and arrogant and completely misinterpret everything about them #not saying that Abe is written to be neurodivergent but you get my point #it's kinda like that #he's relatable to me as an autistic person and a lot of his struggles are similar to what the autistic community experiences #also i'm sad that gandhi had to get removed because he's important to me too #he's actually one of my favourite ADHD reps on tv i've seen and he's just really funny #i know he was removed because people in India got offended and they probably don't wanna cause another incident like that again #but still it's such a shame he couldn't be included because he was a great character #also slightly unrelated but i think turning characters into a moral debate it stupid and often results in stuff like this happening #ableism mention #tw ableism mention

[rinsuniverse]

Hiiii I keep reading your work like everyday, I just love it and hope you’re doing well!! I absolutely live for a flushed woozi, could you do a thing on what you think would make him flustered???

Thanks a million for making my day better just with your little posts, you deserve all the praise! ❤️

how you make woozi flustered! ✧˖°.

lots of things make our brilliant producer, woozi, flustered!

but here are some things his s/o will do that'll make him blush uncontrollably

when you're at the gym with him and you spot him

as he does a weight that's typically heavier than his usual, you say things like

"you got this! just breathe through this set!"

and "come on, just do one more rep for me"

he's already flushed, his ears a bright red

but it isn't until you say something along the lines of "you looked really good doing that rep. like hot." while you're taking a water break with him

that he spits out his water and is hiding his face in his hands

if you compliment him in public, he can't help but feel flustered

the best way to make him flustered is to do physical contact

like literally any physical contact

if you're at his studio

and you walk over to his desk and peer over his shoulder to see his work

and you smile and pat his head because

BECAUSE HES SO CUTE STFU

he's gonna stop everything and turn to you as you walk away nonchalantly like

"what the-" "what was that for-" "pff what the heck-"

and his cheeks are turning a bright shade of pink

if you're out in public with seventeen and they all want to separate into pairs to do groceries

you might grab jihoon's hand and put your hands in the air saying "i'll go with woozi!"

and jihoon is staring between your interlocked fingers and your happy face

and he can't help his ears turning red

he's trying to play it cool, but the fact that all of his members are looking at the two of you holding hands has him so flustered

poor baby's ears and cheeks are burning

endless praise will make our rice bowl super flustered, too

one time when you were personally invited to seventeen's concert by him

and you're sitting in the front row

you have your carat bong and you're bopping your head to the music

when woozi is in the center of the stage singing his lines

you scream "WOOHOO!! YOU'RE SO HANDSOME, WOOZI!!"

and he literally has to fight all of his might to not break character

you're sitting there laughing at yourself because you see him trying to hide his smile

or maybe he's hiding his cringe?

but it's still hilarious

as he's performing the rest of the song, his whole face is red, istg

but when the members ask, he brushes it off as the spotlights were too hot while he is dancing

when you quietly sneak backstage to see him

the blush returns to his face and he can't even face you for a few minutes

"wow, that was so cool," you say, nudging him. "i can't believe you're mine."

HE-

he's clenching his heart. kicking his feet. punching the air.

just kidding, he's sitting there with a stale face, making sure you can't tell how embarrassed he is right now

but you notice

because his ears are bright red

he's literally yours, though

so yeah! thank you so much for requesting, and i'm so sorry it took so long! i forgot i started working on this and put it in my drafts tbh. but here you go! feel free to request many, many more things! ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

#seventeen #hybe #pledis seventeen #seventeentumblr #svtcreations #hybe family #svt #lee jihoon #woozi #jihoon #woozi imagines #woozi fanfic #seventeen woozi #woozi seventeen #woozi svt #svt woozi #woozi x y/n #woozi x you #woozi x reader #woozi fluff #svt drabbles #svt x y/n #svt x you #svt x reader #seventeen drabbles #woozi drabbles #woozi drabble #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader

[jasntodds]

Caving In [13]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 13,401

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, hurt/comfort, I’m messing with the timeline a bit because I can lol, this is the only chapter that’s laid out like this, nightmares, mentions of death, Jason and reader do not have the healthiest coping mechanisms, mentions of burns, mentions of injures

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I made a little bit of a mess but I fix a lot of it next chapter lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Over the next two days, the three of you have been keeping your distance more from each other than usual. Gar is trying, of course, because he always tries to make sure everyone is okay. But, you and Jason aren’t feeling it. Jason has pretty much locked himself in the training room but Rose is keeping him company and you’ve been pacing from room to room here and there. You find yourself mostly in the room where all of the Titans used to keep their suits, the displays haunted of what used to be. And Gar lets you and Jason be, but he checks on you both every so often, offering a snack and something to drink. You might not want to talk, but both of you appreciate the effort. You alway take everything with a sweet smile while Jason reluctantly tells him to put them on a bench only for him to go for them as soon as Gar is gone.

You’re currently seated looking at the display that says “Robin” and you’re caught in your thoughts about everything. What could have been and what should have been. You didn’t have a big plan for your life. But, you thought you’d finish school and maybe you’d follow in your mom’s footsteps. But, you’d go out and you’d do things. You’d find a purpose in this life and it would be great. You’d have hard times because you can’t have the good without the bad, but you’d find a purpose and you’d be happy. You never expected all of this though. The fighting and the torture and the pain. The pain that bleeds and bleeds and bleeds. You think the wounds are turning into scabs but then the scabs fall off and there’s just more blood and pain. It’s just so hard and you swear it was never supposed to be this hard.

“Hey,” There’s a soft voice pulling your attention towards the hallway. “How’re you doing?” Kory has a soft smile as she walks into the room.

“I’m fine.” You give your the same smile and look back to the displays.

“We didn’t officially meet. I’m Kory.” Kory says as she sits down beside you.

“Y/n.” You nod once at her. “Heard a lot about you. Alien from Tamaran who’s a total badass.” You laugh softly, looking back to the display. “Very accurate. You can shoot fire which is, in fact, badass.”

Kory laughs softly. “Thank you.” She watches you who doesn’t crack another smile. You don’t know her but Dick is worried about you and Jason. Kory’s always been better about getting the younger Titans to talk. “Dick is pretty worried about you.”

You glance at her. “I was kidnapped, held captive again, tortured again, and almost murdered again. Yeah, I’d say that’s probably fair to worry.” You snip and then looks back to her and it’s kind of like talking to Gar. The kindness. “Sorry, uh, he shouldn’t worry, I’ll be fine.” You force a smile that should have been reassuring but lacked any sort of emotion.

Maybe you’re tired of always being fine. When your mom died, you never got to process that correctly. You were in a constant state of flight or fight living on the streets. In a way, it was nice because you never had to deal with that agonizing pain. And then you’d be fine. Then there was Jerry and you got to process that, and then you were gonna be fine. And now you’re here with all this new trauma, and you’re gonna be fine. You’ll always be fine but you’re tired of this routine.

In a weird way, being checked on, has the opposite effect that it should. Instead of making you feel better and loved and cared for, it makes you feel like you’re destroying a part of people’s lives. They’re worried about you and everyone should have bigger and better things to worry about. It puts this pressure on you to be fine. You don’t want to be fine anymore but if you crack, maybe you won’t ever recover from it. So, you keep your eyes on the Robin spot, wishing you had been smart enough to rob the Batmobile and get caught.

“Can I ask why you guys decided to go?” Kory asks, her brows knitted together.

You shrug, glancing to her before looking back to the Robin display. Everyone talks highly of Kory, even Jason. So, a part of you thinks you could tell Kory. At least at this point, you don’t really have a lot to lose. What is she gonna do? Tell Dick you and Jason just want to do something to help? And Dick’s gonna get mad? He’s already mad. It’s not like it matters very much.

“Jason,” You suck in a breath. “He just wanted to show Dick what he can do and I already fucked up and I figured that if we go with Gar, it shows initiative and responsibility because there were three us of against a fucking lightbulb. And if Jason got into some trouble, I could bail him out and maybe Dick would see that we’re…good enough, I guess? He already thinks Gar is.” You roll your eyes. “And Rachel is his lap dog.” You scoff and look to Kory who does not look like she likes that comment. “I like Rachel, to clarify, and I get why, but she is.”

“Dick knows you guys are all good enough. If he didn’t think so, none of you would be training to be Titans.”

“Yeah, but we’re just stuck here. I’ve been here for almost three months and we’ve done nothing. Jason, Gar, and Rachel have been here for four and you guys did all that other stuff. Jason is literally Robin for fuck’s sake,” You feel yourself getting mad. “What more does he want?”

“He just doesn’t want any of you to get hurt. I’m sorry, but you and Jason did get hurt.” Kory tries to reason with you and you know she’s probably right.

“Yeah.” You nod your head. “I guess.” You hang your head. “Thanks, by the way, for saving my life.”

“Of course.” Kory’s voice is so soft and gentle with the words. “Rachel’s told me a lot about you.” Kory changes the subject, getting the idea you don’t want to continue the conversation. She gains your full attention with the comment. “She said you’re really good with the fighting and knives.” Kory says and you smile softly. “She also said you’ve been a good friend to her since you’ve been here and she enjoys having you around.”

“Really?” You raise a brow. “I kind of thought she was annoyed by me, sometimes anyway, I spend a lot of time with the boys.”

“She also said that.” Kory laughs. “But, yeah, she said you’re good to talk to and you have her back with Jason a lot of the times. Gar plays Switzerland?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty neutral when it comes to them.” You laugh. “Jason can be….a little….harsh sometimes.” You let out a breath. “Rachel’s a good friend, too though.”

Kory gives you a sweet smile. “Well, you guys could talk. She’s going through some stuff, maybe it’ll help.”

“You and Gar always about the talking.” You let out a half-sigh, half-chuckle. “Yeah, maybe.” Your brows furrow. “Wait, what’s going on with her?”

“Probably best if she tells you.”

“Ah.” You nod once.

“Be careful, though, okay? From what I’ve heard, you’re a good kid. Last night was scary,” You eye Kory softly. “Maybe, don’t listen to Jason so much.” Kory laughs softly and you nod. “Dick is just trying to protect you guys.”

“Yeah, I know.” You chew the inside of your cheek. “I’m an asshole to him but… that’s because he makes it easy.” You let out a breath as Kory goes to get up. “Hey, Kory?” Kory turns to look at you. “It’s okay that I’m mad at him though, right? Dick, I mean.”

“For what?”

“Not saving me.” You state cautiously. “I get it, I-I do. But, I’m mad anyway.”

Kory nods with understanding. “Yeah, it’s okay. He’s mad at you guys, too.”

“He is always mad at least one of us.” You chortle.

“Don’t be too hard on him, though. He’s doing his best.”

“Yeah,” You nod. “Thank you.” You smile softly at Kory as just Dick comes into view.

“If you want to talk, come find me, okay?”

“I will, thank you.” You nod and look back to the display while Kory leaves.

When you asked about how Bruce was as a parent, Dick said Bruce did his best. Now, Kory is saying that Dick is doing his best. It’s what you thought. It’s a thing people say when that person isn’t going a good job but it’s supposedly their best. It’s the best they can do but it needs to be better. This was your fault and you know that. But, had Dick done a better of job of communicating the urgency of you staying behind or asking you and Jason for help, had he just let Jason help with anything, it would have been different.

Dick is really good at training all of you. He was Robin so of course he’s good at it. But, when it comes to the communication side of everything, he’s horrible at it. Anyone who has a ten-minute conversation with Jason about Robin, can figure out that it’s the most important thing to him. Then, if they just look at his upbringing which Dick does know, it’s not that hard to figure out it’s because Jason just wants to be good enough. Dick’s best is not good enough. You like him, but you think maybe he needs to try a little harder.

“I am fine, you don’t have to worry. It’s our fault. It was fucking stupid.” You ramble things off in a monotone voice as Dick takes a seat next to you. “It was really fucking stupid. We could have been killed, could have gotten everyone else killed. We can’t go rogue like that because you have rules.” You squint your eyes slightly before looking up at Dick. “Did I forget anything?”

The softest chuckle escapes Dick as he shakes his head with raised brows. “No, I think you got it all.”

You nod solemnly. “Yeah.” You let out a deep sigh. “You can still lecture if you want though.”

“Do you…do you want me to lecture you?” Dick laughs, confused by the comment.

“I mean no,” You scoff. “I deserve it though.” You hang your head.

“Okay, yeah, it was stupid.” Dick nods his head and decides not to lecture, but to ask. “You could have been killed, you and Jason almost were killed. What were you thinking?”

“I’m not speaking for Jason, if you can’t figure that out by now, that’s your own fucking problem, Dickolas. As for me though,” You look forward again. “Just wanted to prove I’m good enough and useful, I guess.”

“You are good enough and useful.”

“Mhm, but uh, doesn’t feel like it here. I mean, okay, sure Jerry was a bad idea. I acknowledge that and I apologized for it but,” You hold up a finger. “Had I not gone, he might still be torturing another fucking kid or worse. So,” You shrug. “Wasn’t too bad of an idea, right? And not once, did it ever feel like it because you were always so hung up on us going rogue. Not, the good part of that. Lecture, us, sure we deserve it. But, positive reinforcement tends to work better, statically.”

Dick nods his head. “You did save that kid that night, you and Jason. Jason calling me was the right thing to do.”

“See, not that hard.”

Dick pauses for a few seconds, trying his best to find some positive out of last night. How is he supposed to find something positive in that? He’s not even good at it. Bruce was not the positive reinforcement type.

“Well, thanks to you guys, we know Dr. Light was working with Deathstroke.” Dick states, deciding that’s about as good as it’s gonna get.

You let out a booming laugh. Of course, that’s what he’s going to pick to focus on. It almost hurts. “Okay, uh, me and Jason stuck together, came up with a plan to escape, we did have Gar, and you went to finding out Deathstroke was around. That tracks.”

“It’s true.” Dick defends.

“Oh, no, it is. I just find it funny. Yeah, guess that’s true.” You roll your eyes. “You know, we defended each other...like the whole time.” You eye him slightly. “Worked together, that’s a good thing.”

“Look, I know you guys….care….” Dick treads lightly, not liking that aspect of the conversation and you eye him with confusion and hesitance, unsure of where the hell he could possibly be going with this. “About each other.”

“You look like you’re gonna puke, dude.”

“I don’t do those talks.”

“You literally do not have to.” You let out a scoff.

The last possible thing you want to talk about is that, with anyone, but especially with Dick. You might get it, understand it, and agree with the reasoning Jason has. You have your own reasoning why it shouldn’t happen. But, it doesn’t make it hurt any less on top of the other night. You’d like to go back to living in oblivion. But, is does not look like Dick is gonna let it rest.

“I do, you and Jason are my responsibility.” Dick states. “But, the two of you following each other like the other night and with Jerry, even if that did not end poorly, can be bad. I’ve seen it.” Dick confesses but doesn’t give further details. “I’m just warning you to be careful.”

“I…I…r…okay. Uh, I am my own person and so is Jason. I mean, I could have talked him out of it, and didn’t. Honestly, if it weren’t for him, I still probably would have had the idea. The only difference is Gar would have been able to talk me out of it.”

“You’re proving my point. The two of you need someone who can be the reason of logic.” Dick’s expression turns harsh. 

You want to fight back but you’re too tired. It’s exhausting. “Ah….” You nod your slowly. “Yeah, probably.” You sigh. “We are friends, by the way. We discussed it. It’s fine. You don’t have to worry, Dick.” You offer him a sad smile.

“I don’t think you’ve ever called me Dick without being sarcastic.” There's a hint of worry in his voice with the remark.

The more he talks to you and Jason, the more worried he gets about you both. Jason is more snippy than usual, taking the blame, putting the entire night on his shoulders. He won't stop training even when Dick tells him to rest. You, you aren't even putting up a front which Dick has only known you to do. You’re not telling him it was your idea. You’re being understanding. This is not gonna be good.

“Yeah, well, sometimes you happen to right about things. Not often, but sometimes.”

“Are you going to start listening to me then?” Dick chuckles.

“Oh, Dickolas,” You put a hand on his shoulder. “Absolutely fucking not. I will, probably, be more inclined to listen about not going rogue though. Did learn a lesson from the other night.”

“Learn anything else by chance?”

“Yeah, men are shitty who target people because of some weird ass vendetta against someone else which is fucked up. Oh, I would die for Jason and he would do the same for me. Combat clairvoyance is also super fucking cool when I'm not the one being attacked. Jason, literally, cannot shut the fuck up. Hank is surprising protective. Deathstroke fucking SUCKS. Dr. Light was a wimp.” You let out a scoff at Dr. Light’s name. 

“W-what do you mean about your combat clairvoyance?” Dick blinks at you, not even sure he wants to unpack any of that.

“Oh, yeah, felt the throbbing and then it stopped. Deathstroke went after Jason but I turned before he could do anything. Pretty neat, right?” You raise your brows at Dick.

Dick chuckles softly. “Yeah, that’s cool.” Dick pauses for a few seconds as you look back to the Robin display, your eyes go distant. Dick clears his throat. “Can I ask what happened?”

“Uh…like…?”

“How you guys were kidnapped? What all happened? Any of it might be useful in finding Deathstroke.”

“Oh, um….Jason got Dr. Light down. It was going pretty well, actually. Jason didn’t need my help, really. At the beginning, I stepped in, but he was fine after that. I was watching and then the throbbing started and I went to turn around and Deathstroke was there with the sword. Dr. Light started laughing so Jason stopped. That’s when they attacked us, knocked us out, and brought us to a basement.” Sam shakes her head, furrowing her brows. “I don’t know, uh, at some point I guess he took care of Dr. Light. He went on a villain speech rant thing. Very dramatic. Something about you roping us in to get killed or whatever. He forced us to the roof and you know the rest.” You skimp on the details of the night. It might be helpful, maybe. But, you don't think giving Dick the detail of Deathstroke beating up you and Jason will be helpful. You’re reliving it enough without saying it out loud. And you really don't remember much of his speech, just that is was all Dick's fault.

Dick nods. “Thank you.” Dick sighs. “I’m sorry that happened to you guys.”

“Well, we are both nothing if not resilient, right? We’ll recover eventually…right?” You look at Dick and this time, there’s an actual sense of worry in your eyes.

“Yeah, of course you will.” Dick offers a soft smile. “Well, don’t pull that shit again.”

“Yes, sir.” You give him a thumbs-up.

“Maybe listen to Gar more, too, both of you.”

“Mhm, noted.” You scoff. “Kory’s cool, you should like….do something about that.” You’re tired of this conversation and you know this will get Dick to stop.

Dick’s voice contorts as you try to hold back a grin. “You’re not funny.” Dick sighs as he gets up.

“I’m fucking hilarious. It’s true though, like seriously, lecture me about Jason but you’re not like……..with her??? Dude, she’s hot, a total badass, came to fight Deathstroke with you. SAVED ME. AND SHE’S NICE??????? Seriously, man. Get it the fuck together.”

“Okay, I’m done here. If you want to talk about the other night, let me know.”

“Will do.” You salute him sarcastically before he heads out.

Dick is trying to help and maybe if you were in a better place mentally, you would appreciate it. But, you find yourself annoyed by it. He just does not get it and it feels like he doesn't even want to try. Sure, he's worried and he cares about the both of you but he's so bad at communicating it and understanding. It's difficult to open up and actually have a conversation about anything. It's frustrating and you know it does not help that you’re mad at him. So, you’re glad to be left alone where you can sit and let the guilt cloud your mind.

The night goes on and within two hours of falling asleep, you wake from a nightmare. This time it's not about Jerry which is not even a bit relieving. You thought maybe a change in pace of nightmares might be a little better. At least it's not about you getting tortured but you were wrong. Somehow, your new nightmare is worse than the Jerry nightmares. And normally, you'd go to Gar because he always makes you feel better but you can't find yourself able to do that. Not right now.

You woke him last night from a nightmare and this time would be the same. You'd go into his room, wake him up, he'd turn on the light, and you'd talk. Gar would ask about he nightmare and give you this look you can't say no to. But, the idea of telling Gar about this one, feels so wrong. And there's a part of you that thinks maybe you should suffer alone tonight. You’ve already made Gar and Jason suffer enough, it's your turn. You don't have to sleep tonight and that's fine with you. So, you turn on a movie that'll hold your attention just enough to keep you awake.

Twenty minutes later, you’re engaged enough in your movie but there's a knock at your door. For a second, you pause. You almost think you’re imagining the noise as you check the time on your phone seeing it read 3 am. You wonder if you’re imagining it because no one comes to your room this late but then the knocking continues and you decide to get up, just to check.

You gets up and walk to the door. Your hands shake slightly and you reach up to the doorknob. You suck in a deep breath and twist the knob. Deathstroke wouldn't knock.

"Jay?" You shake your head at the sight of Jason in a black t-shirt and matching shorts, his hair disheveled.

"Uh....hey." Jason sucks in a breath and you swear he actually looks...timid.

"Nightmare?" You let your voice go casual.

Jason said he'd come to you and he isn't going to let that be a lie. He figures going to you would probably be a little better than going back to the training room and having Dick find out, then badger him again. Plus, you do make him feel better. If anyone is gonna get it and not ask too many questions or think less of him for it, it'll be you.

Jason nods. "Yep." He let out a dry and straggled chuckle. "Can't sleep, ya know?" He dodges your eyes.

"Well," You offer him a sad smile as you open the door more. "Come in, then." You step aside to allow Jason inside. "You can have the side closest to the window." You state as you start the walk back to your bed while Jason shuts the door.

"Offering your bed, huh?" Jason quips.

"Well, I'm not gonna let you sleep on the floor." Your eyes widen as you sit back down.

Jason can't help the smirk that pulls at his lips. "Still hitting on me, huh?"

"You fucking wish." You let out a soft laugh. "Just can't help it, can you?"

Jason laughs softly. "Reflex, I guess."

"Mhm." You roll your eyes as Jason makes his way over to the side near the windows.

Jason gets into bed and he doesn't know how he wanted this to go. All he knows is that he doesn't want to be alone right now. He's been intentionally keeping his distance from you during the day. It seems easier that way. It's easier for him to let the guilt take over. It's easier to ignore the burning in his chest. But, you’re the only one that he can talk to or not talk to. You let him exist in ways that no one else has ever let him before.

You let out a breath and lay down. "Wanna talk about it?" You turn to face him, holding your head up with your palm.

"Fuck no." Jason lets out a scoff and follows your lead, mimicking the position.

You might have asked him to come to you, figuring he’d end up with nightmares. But, you never expected him to actually do it. You’re glad he did but you didn’t think he’d do it, especially after your discussion about the kiss. Maybe that’s what’s making this feel a little bit more difficult than usual. It hurts to be close to him and you actually hate that it does. But, you’ll never tell him that. As his friend, as the one person he trusts, it’s your job to make sure he’s okay and to suck it up.

"You okay?" You furrow your brows and Jason's eyes glance between your black eye and the cut on your lip.

"You gonna bug me until I talk about it?" Jason quips.

You laugh softly. "No, but, I want to." You let out a breath. "I also had a nightmare, that's why I'm even awake."

You want him to be okay more than anything. You suffering is fine. One day, you'll move on from it, get over it because you always do. As tiring as it is, you'll get over it. It's him you’re worried about. You care about him so much that it physically hurts. And you'll try everything you can to make sure he'll always be okay.

"What was yours about?" Jason asks, glancing to your bandaged hand holding up your head.

You smile and click your tongue because this what you do. The "show me yours and I'll show you mine" game. It works for you both though. If one of you is exposed, then so is the other. The both of you allowing each other to bare your scars and wounds, allowing each other to just bleed while the other joins you is so comforting. It makes it so much easier to bandage those wounds.

You let out a sigh. "You die." Your words are low and shallow but pained and you look to the TV.

"That's what your nightmare was about?" Jason huffs, almost a little too loudly. He can't believe that's what's keeping you up at night. The fear of him dying.

You shrug a shoulder. "Like I said, you're really important to me, Jay." You feel the ache in your chest return. The thought of losing him is paralyzing. "I was where Dick was, I grabbed your hand but you slipped and I couldn't save you. I woke up before you finished falling."

Jason's heart breaks hearing that. He lived it. It was real to him but you didn't even see it. He's so thankful you didn't see him fall, see the fear on his face that he's sure would scar you further.

"Dick didn't try to save me." Jason confesses, looking up the ceiling. "The bomb goes off and I just...fall." Jason shrugs, looking back to you. "Flying guy didn't come."

You cautiously put your free hand on top of Jason's free hand. The gesture alone warms something deep inside the darkest parts of Jason's mind. "Ya know, nightmares are fucking shitty. They, uh, they just play your worst fears for you in a time of vulnerability." You state and Jason keeps his stare on you, wondering where you’re going with this. "But, reality is that Dick tried to save you. Flying guy did save you. I was out there with you." You suck in a breath and let it out slowly, Jason's hand warm under yours. "And in reality, any other time, I'd save you from falling every single time or I'd follow you right to the ground if that's what it took to save you."

"I wouldn't let you." Jason shakes his head, his voice soft but defensive. "I wouldn't let you fucking die for me."

"I know." You nod your head. "But, uh, you don't control me so you're just gonna have to deal with it." You give him a cheeky smirk and something about it makes Jason not feel so broken.

"You always gonna be trying to take care of me?" Jason gains this devilish smirk that makes you laugh quietly.

"You gonna let me, Jay?" You raise the question, matching the smirk.

Jason laughs softly and he can't have this conversation. It's not fair. So, he deflects. "He talk to you, yet?" Jason asks. "Dick."

"Mhm." You roll your eyes. "I lectured myself so I wouldn't be lectured by him."

Jason chuckles quietly. There's something so warm about his smile when he finds something comical. "You lectured yourself?"

"Didn't want to hear it from him, knew what he was gonna say." You laugh quietly. "Don't do that again." You mock Dick's voice poorly. "It was stupid, you need to think because you do that stuff." You roll your eyes. "You?"

"Oh, yeah." Jason scoffs. "It's not your fault, but you should have thought that through. Bruce trained you better than that and if you have to trust me there's a reason we weren't looping you in. I'm just asking for you to trust me." Jason mocks Dick much better than you. "So fucking annoying."

"Ya know, at least he gives a fuck, I guess." You raise your brows before rolling your eyes.

"You think he gives a fuck about any of us?" Jason's eyes widen, the very corner of the right side of his mouth twitching up.

"You don't?" You raise a brow. "Hey, look, it was your hand he grabbed."

"Obligation to Bruce." Jason's voice falls flat.

The comment hurts. He can't possibly believe that's the only reason Dick saved him. Dick is really bad at communicating and showing that he cares like normal people. But, he was raised by Batman who turned Dick's grief into a weapon. Of course, he's bad at it. To you though, it's still clear that he cares even when he's really bad at showing it. If he didn't care, he would not lecture either of you about being stupid and reckless. He'd let you get yourselves killed. Obligation to Bruce or not.

You shake your head. "Do you really believe that, Jay?"

Jason shrugs. "No, but he doesn't seem to like me much."

Deep down he doesn't think it was an obligation to Bruce. But, he does know that taking him in to be a Titan is. Dick didn't want his help in Chicago. No one wanted his help with Trigon until they couldn't get Bruce to help and even then, he wasn't really wanted. Jason is Dick's responsibility, it doesn't matter how Dick handles it because it's still a favor for Bruce. And maybe that stings a little.

"Okay, but I don't think that's always true." Your voice is quiet.

"How the fuck do you figure?" Jason scoffs.

"Well, I mean, he does look out for you. He does let you help us train. You two do get along often enough. He drives you insane and we both drive him insane. Like it or not, you two are brothers...in a roundabout kind of way. You act like it. Like, remember when we hooked up speakers to blare the SpongeBob theme song through Dick's room at four am?"

Jason starts laughing, he almost can’t get the words out. "He was so mad."

"He was." You gush. "But, he also thought it was funny and really appreciated us going to bed early so we could be awake at three in the morning to pull it off."

"And then he got us back." Jason sighs. "Shut off the fucking hot water--"

"Mid shower." You almost yell. "Asshole." You and Jason laugh quietly. "Hey, look, if he hated you, he would not tolerate it all. Gar said you would do that shit to him before I got here. So, I don't know what his issue is but I don't think he hates you." You pause for a few seconds. "Honestly, I think the only one that hates you is Rachel which is a problem between the two of you."

"Didn't everyone warn you about me?" Jason moves his hand on top of yours and your heart nearly jumps out of your chest.

"Yeah, but it wasn't...like...bad. It was just 'oh, you get used to him' which, by the way, was very true. I think most people take getting used to."

"You really like kissing my ass." Jason chortles, starting to feel like this spotlight is following him around a stage.

"I do not." You state. "But, sometimes, I think you need to hear that you're important."

Jason does need to hear it. No one has ever told him he's important. His parents definitely never did. Bruce hasn't. No one who's ever tried to help him has. Even when people do show they care about him, he's never been told he's important and it is something he needs to hear, even if he doesn't always want to believe it. At least he's important to you.

"Yeah?" Jason nods his head once at you. If you’re going to expose him, he gets to expose you. It's what you do and it works. "What do you need to hear then?"

"Defeats the purpose if I tell you, Jay." You chuckle.

Jason pauses because similar to you, he knows what you need to hear to. He doesn't know about your breakdown. Not the dirty details of it. Gar, naturally, told him a bit of it because he's worried, too. Jason pays attention just as much as Gar does, he just doesn't show it often or in the same ways.

"You deserve to be taken care of, instead of taking care of other people." Jason's fingertips tap the top of your hand.

Your brows furrow as your heart stops. "What? I mean...what do you mean?"

"Looking over me, get the feeling you always do that. Look after other people that you care about and no one was there to look after you. I don't know, you deserve to be taken care of."

"I am, uh, not always easy to be taken care of." You clear your throat. "My best friend kind of tried, ya know? But uh..." You let out a breath. "I can do this on my own attitude."

"Look at who you're talking to, babe." Jason chuckles. "Yeah, so you should let someone take care of you because you deserve a break."

In another world, you quip back and ask if he'll be the one taking care of you. And he'd get this grin that always makes you feel like the world isn't out to get you, then dodge it. In another world, the conversation would be had and things would be different. Better maybe, less painful. But, you live in this one where you had the conversation already. Even saying it sarcastically, puts too much pressure on that. So, you bite back the comment that should have been.

"Thank you, Jay." You look down to your hands.

You don't know it, but Jason knows he'll always take care of you. It doesn't matter about him and Rose or you and Gar because someone has to take care of you, always. He gets you better than anyone so he'll do everything in his power to take care of you, even if it's from afar. He's important to you, but you’re also one of the most important people in his life.

"What're you watching?" Jason looks to the TV, seeing a black dragon try to fly but falling into the water.

"How To Train Your Dragon." You snicker softly. "It's Dreamworks."

"Never seen it." Jason laughs softly, knowing that'll get a reaction out of you.

"How have you never seen this movie? It's like one of the best film trilogies ever made." You whisper-yell at him with wide eyes.

Jason laughs again. "I don't watch a lot of movies. Why are you always so surprised?" Jason continues to laugh and he loves getting a rise out of you even over movies. "There's three?"

"Mhm, and all three of them are flawless."

"What's it about?" Jason asks, there's a softness in the smirk he's daunting.

"Hiccup is a Viking and it's a world where dragons exist but the Vikings hunt down the dragons thinking they're evil monsters. But, Hiccup isn't good at killing and he's interested in the dragons so he meets Toothless and he learns about dragons through Toothless. And he finds out that dragons aren't evil, they're just scared of humans because they're being hunted." You explain the movie with as much excitement as you can without getting too loud and Jason rubs the back of your hand with his thumb, not even realizing he's doing it.

"That sounds kind of cool, actually." Jason looks back to the TV as Hiccup gets the two-headed dragon back into the cage.

"It's sick, Jay. You gotta watch em all." You keep your eyes on the TV and the act of Jason rubbing the back of her hand makes you feel so at home.

"Yeah, maybe." Jason huffs softly, a sweet smile pulling at his lips as he turns so he's flat on his back. He props his head up with his right arm so he can watch the movie.

Jason glances over at you as you mimic his position. He sucks in a breath and extends his arm toward you. You raise a brow and he gestures his arm towards himself and back to you. You gain a smirk as you move closer to him.

"Uh-huh, still hitting on me, huh?" You let out the cutest laugh Jason has ever heard as your nose scrunches.

"Yeah, you fucking wish." Jason chuckles while you make yourself comfortable on his chest. "Just can't help it?" Jason quips looking down at you.

"Maybe it is a reflex." You smile against him with your voice light and airy, Jason's arm wraps around you and his hand rest on your waist.

The two of you go quiet as you watch the movie. It feels safe, wrapped in each other with a comfort movie playing. The nightmares might haunt you both but at least you're safe in this room together. You both might be scarred and traumatized, but when you're with each other, despite everything, it doesn't feel like you are. It's so casual and comfortable. It's easy together and the world doesn't feel so heavy anymore.

The next morning rolls around and you wake up alone. Jason woke up an hour before and he figured he'd go back to the new routine. Standing in his room, training, and hanging out with Rose. You made him feel better last night and it's great but he can't wake up to you because that makes it harder. It makes the whole thing with Deathstroke and choosing Rose harder. It shouldn't but it does. He knows it's all for the best but it hurts anyway. So, you wake alone and if you wanted to be honest, it's not all that surprising. You’re kind of happy about it because now you don't have to deal with that weird awkwardness that happens when you wake up together. That's too complicated to deal with right now.

You make your way to the kitchen where Gar is eating breakfast and Donna is sitting in the living room with Dawn. You offer Gar a tired but kind smile as you sit next to him.

"Good morning." Gar chimes.

"Morning." You nod your head once at him.

"How'd you sleep?" Gar's smile is so kind and sweet.

"Uh...didn't sleep much." You let out a sigh. "Nightmare, it's fine. Um...don't tell Jason I told you but he had one, too and came to my room. So, I wasn't alone and it's fine. Honest." You state and Gar isn't sure if you’re trying to convince him or yourself.

"You sure?" Gar questions and his expression switches to worry.

"Yeah, it's fine. Hey, um," You perk up, trying to look more alive. "Wanna play video games today? Your pick."

"Sure, yeah." Gar nods softly at you and decides not to push.

It feels a little wrong to you. Nothing happened, just like last time but it feels like something did anyway. It feels wrong and you can't tell him any of it because it's too much. You don't want him to know all of it. So, now you just feel like you’re lying even though you’re not.

It'll get easier, that's what you tell yourself. The more days that go by, it'll get easier because you’re also picking Gar. He's kind and good. Jason told you you deserve to be taken care of and Gar is really good at taking care of people. You like him and you swear you do. So, you swear you'll put more effort into him.

That night, you wake up from another nightmare. This one was a little different than the night before. This time, Deathstroke was actually there. He held the sword to your back and threatened you until you pushed the button of the detonator to make Jason fall. It was your life or his and Deathstroke was making you decide. Pain started right in your back because you refused to press the button as Jason was yelling at the glass, begging you not to press the button. But, you do anyway. And then you woke up.

Your heart is beating in your chest and tears sting the back of your eyes. You know it wasn't real because Jason was saved. You were out there with Jason. You knows it wasn't real but something about it felt real. It felt horrifying and you swear you can feel the pain in your back as you’re awake. It's almost paralyzing and normally, you go to Gar. But, this dream was about you making the decision to let yourself die or kill Jason. So, you get up and walk to the left instead of right and go to Jason's room.

"Can't sleep?" Jason asks as he opens the door.

"Nightmare." You nod, shifting your weight from your toes to your heels.

Jason nods and lets you inside. He can't sleep either. If he sleeps, he has a nightmare. If he has a nightmare, he can't fall back asleep for a few hours anyway. When he's awake, he feels like he's still falling. When he's alone, that's all he can see. Windows falling past him and his limbs feel limp. What's the point of sleeping when his nightmares are just his reality anyway? So, he decided not to sleep tonight.

"Thought you go to Gar when you have a nightmare?" Jason asks and he's more or less a big fan of self-sabotage.

"I said I'd come to you." You state. "Unless you want me to leave cause--"

"No." Jason cuts you off. "You don't have to."

You gain a tired smirk. "Exactly."

“Did you wanna talk about it?” Jason asks, leaning against the table near the door.

You shrug. “You gonna tell me why you’re awake?” Your eyes narrow slightly. Jason always has a look like an annoyed beagle when he’s just woken up. He does not look like that right now. Jason gestures a hand out as he tilts his head to the right. “Deathstroke, it was either I push the button to kill you or he kills me.”

Jason lets out a breath and dodges your face. It’s not fair you’re having nightmares about him. You don’t deserve it. And he doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to make you feel better about it because it’s his fault it’s even happening. They’re about him and he lived but that doesn’t matter because it’s happening to you anyway and it’s not fair.

“I pushed it.” You clear your throat and skimp on further details about it.

“Well, that’s bullshit.” Jason scoffs and offers you a smirk. “Deathstroke wouldn’t be able to get you to do shit like that.”

“Yeah, I know.” You chuckle softly and shake your head.

“You okay?” Jason drops the smirk and lets worry seep into his voice.

“Yeah,” You furrow your brows, looking to the ground and back to him. “Just...ya know, tired.” You scoff.

Jason shrugs. "Wanna train?"

You shake your head, taken aback. "I am saying this because I care about you," You watch him carefully. "I'm really fucking worried about you."

"I'm fine!" Jason defends and he's got that grin that you’ve learned means trouble. "Really, I said we could train if you can't sleep."

"Right, yeah, but it's two in the morning and you're still limping, Jay." You lack any form of banter or smile this time. "Notice, Dick didn't have training sessions for us today. There's a reason for that. You also did not tell me why you’re awake."

"You on his side, huh?" Jason scoffs looking the side and back to you.

"No, Jason." You roll your eyes. "But, you're hurt and awake at two in the fucking morning. You wanna train. Last time, you offered to read instead of train. I'm worried about you."

Jason steps forward and puts his hands on your shoulders. "I'm fine, Y/n. You're turning into Gar, you know that?"

You let out a sigh, looking at Jason. His lip still cut and a bruise still dawns the right side of his cheek. "I'm not turning into Gar but I don't believe for a second that you're fine."

Jason drops his hands and lets out a scoff. "Did you wanna fucking argue about how I'm feeling at two in the morning?"

You pause. "No." You say softly and you’re watching him, his hands are shaking at his sides. "Actually, yeah I fucking do." You straighten your stance. "Why do you have such a fucking problem with me trying to help you?" This is not the usual conversation you both have but you’re tired and scared of losing him. The nightmare felt too real.

The question catches him off guard. Jason takes a step back but he's ready to go. "If it's so fucking hard, then stop."

Your eyes narrow before you roll them and walk up to him, mimicking his actions from seconds earlier. You place your hands on both of his shoulders. "No, you don't get to do that, not with me." You shake your head. "It's not hard but you have an issue with it for some reason. Regardless of what comes out of your mouth, I'll always care about you and I'll always look out for you. But, what is it about me caring about you that you don't seem to have an issue with?"

Jason shakes his head. "I don't have a fucking problem with it, alright?"

Jason and self-sabotage go hand-in-hand but, you don’t back down. You call his bluff every single time. And telling you things to push you away is only going to hurt you more. Jason, for the first time, has to push the sabotaging away, just slightly. For your sake.

"Then what it is?" You drop your hands and crosses your arms.

Jason looks away from you. "Everyone who's ever given a fuck about me, gives up. You said you won't but everyone does." Jason lets out a dry chuckle that nearly shatters you. He's not having this conversation. He looks back to you, throwing his arms out casually. "Look, I'm fine, alright? It's not a thing."

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not them?" You ask. "Your hands are shaking."

Jason shakes his head and he knows what. He wants to tell you, despite what he said about the kiss, to tell him he’s an idiot and you wanna be with him anyway. But, that's not fair to any of you because you shouldn't have to prove it to him. Jason should just believe you because of everything that's happened so far. A part of him does believe you, it's hard for him and Jason swears it always will be. So, he brushes it off.

"Nothing, alright? It's fine, we're fine. It's good. I'm fine." Jason assures you and you can see the brokenness in his eyes. "Come on, come train with me." Jason jerks his head towards the door. "I'll read to you after."

You hang your head and this boy, he's gonna be the death of you. You’re so sure of that. You’re worried about him. You’re more worried about him than you are about anyone else. But, you try to swallow it because it's only been a few days. It takes time and if anyone knows that, it's you.

"You'll read to me again?" You raise your brows.

"Yeah, of course." Jason smirks at you.

"Yeah, okay fine. You've convinced me." You roll your eyes and walk towards the door. There’s no fighting Jason and maybe if you train with him, he’ll start talking. "But, like I said, I'm always gonna take care of you so I'll go easy on you." You hold your head and wink at him.

"You're not that good, babe."

"We'll see, shithead." You mock him and Jason lets out a laugh.

Over the next week, you and Jason continue to have nightmares that leave you not sleeping very much. Half the nights, you find yourself in Gar's room and every time you wake him up, you feel guilty. At this point, you’re pretty sure he's not sleeping any more than you are because you keep waking him up either by coming into his room or by having nightmares next to him. He's really nice about it and really good about talking you down from them because, while you hate talking about them, you’ve been telling Gar hoping it'll help. It hasn't.

The other half of the nights, you find yourself in Jason's room. You said you'd go to him and he's having nightmares every night, too. At least he isn't sleeping so you don't feel guilty for going to him. You both talk about your nightmares in the joking way that you usually talk about your trauma and you both think that might help. It hasn't. So, you train for an hour or two every time you come to his room and then he reads to you. Those are the only nights Jason actually gets some sleep.

Every other night, Jason stares out of his window and stands there for hours, just staring. He watches himself fall, he watches the windows pass him and he waits for the collision of the ground to suck the air from his lungs but it never comes. He wishes it would though. He doesn't sleep unless you’re with him and he's pretty sure he only gets some sleep to satisfy you. Or maybe it's because he's comfortable with you and he wants to satisfy you so you don't have to talk about him not sleeping. Sleeping is becoming just as much of a chore as breathing for him.

As for the days, you spend a lot of time with Gar. He keeps the thoughts away throughout the day. He asks just enough questions to make sure you’re okay but he's learning not to pester you because you'll talk on your own time and with the right questions. You’ve gone further in detail about the night and it breaks Gar's heart all over again. But, he lets you talk and he listens and reassures you over and over and over again that's not your fault. And you play video games together because that's Gar's way to get away from all the negative shit. It helps during the day a little.

But things are different. You can't put your finger on it but things are different. The other Titans whisper and have meetings. There's more going on than just them looking for Deathstroke. You aren't sure what the hell it is and you don't care much. Donna, Dawn, and Kory at least check on you and you’re thankful it's them and not Dick since you’re still mad. But, it's weird and it's different.

Gar is back to giving you that sympathetic look of worry and you hate it again. Rachel seems upset with you, probably because you didn't tell her you were going to hunt down Dr. Light and she wasn't included. And Jason is avoiding you during the day, not that you’re seeking him out much during the day either. It hurts being around him because you look at him and all you see is your own guilt staring you down. All she you is the pain he's going through and knowing it's your fault and there's nothing you can do to fix it. So, you let yourself be closer to Gar and you let yourself just be with him, exposed and maybe that's helping a little bit.

Jason spends a lot of his day either in the training room or in his room staring out of the window. He's intentionally avoiding you and Gar. Jason's been spending more time with Rose though and he is enjoying his time with her. She distracts from all of it, during the day anyway. But, it still feels like there's something sucking the blood right out of him, he's cold and his hands are shaking. He's tired and can't sleep and it's hard to breathe. And he wishes he could just turn back the clock to how it was before because right now, everything sucks.

Everything hurts. His leg is healing but it hurts still and his lungs hurt, his heart hurts. His head hurts and his eyes sting. The other Titans haven't really talked to him much. He feels like an outcast and while things weren't perfect before, he didn't feel like this. 

Now, you’re asleep in Gar's room. You have your head on his chest, your hand on his stomach and his arm is around you. And it was going fine. You were actually getting some much-needed sleep but then, of course, a nightmare hits. This time, it's worse. Normally, when it's about Jason dying, you wake up right before he dies. This time, though, you get to watch the whole thing. From start to finish, you watch him fall onto the car below, you hear him scream just as you did that night a week ago and because that wasn't enough, Deathstroke still stabs you. Dick is sitting off the side just watching it, doing nothing while Jason lays lifeless fifteen stories below you and you bleed out. You scream in your dream only for Gar to be yelling next you, jumping out of the bed and that's enough to wake you up.

You shoot up and see Gar standing off to his side of the bed, face contorted in pain. "W-what happened?" You ask, catching your breath as dread fills your blood.

"You burned me!" Gar yells, his face turning a light shade of green as he looks at you with a sense of terror in his eyes and that's when you see it. His shirt is melted to his side and tears immediately brim your eyes as your entire being just shatters.

"I-I-I'm sorry." You spit out, trying not to completely lose it as you get out of the bed because you cannot look at him right now.

"Y/n!" Gar calls after you but you’re already leaving the room.

Tears start to fall down your cheeks and you can't believe you burned him. Of all fucking people, it just had to be Gar. The one person who never snaps at you and who has always been understanding. He's not dodging anything, he just listens and tries to help and that's just gotten him burned. You want to melt away right into the floor. You should have told him. Why didn't you tell him? You should have been more careful. You should have suffered through your nightmares instead of putting him at risk. You swear you’ve never been so selfish.

There's a rapid knocking on Jason's door, too loud and annoying for him to able to ignore. Normally, he might be annoyed or completely ignore it by putting on headphones, figuring it's just someone who wants to talk about what happened. But, it's four in the morning and the knocking is persistent, only one person is even up around this time sometimes.

Jason opens the door and there you are, cheeks wet. Swelling is setting in your eyes and they're bloodshot. There is something seriously wrong.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jason asks, looking you over without even realizing he's doing it. Just making sure you aren't physically hurt.

"I-I-I-I b-burned him." You sputter out, voice cracking and breaking.

Jason grabs your hand, pulling you into his room before shutting the door behind you. "Burned who?" Jason asks. "Gar?"

You nod frantically. "I swear I didn't mean to!" You let out a sob. "It was an accident but I hurt him and he's hurt and it's all my fault, Jay! It's my fault he's hurt!" Your voice cracks as your words are almost too fast to comprehend.

"What happened?" Jason asks, trying to keep his voice level and calm with you. He's never seen you like this and it's actually scaring him. He takes on Batman villains without a fear in the world, but you losing it? Yeah, that's terrifying. He wonders if this is how you view him.

"W-w-we were sleeping and-and I-I I had a nightmare and-and-and I-I guess I-I can't control--" You let out a cough as you try to get your words out.

Jason closes the distance between the two of you, putting his hands on your shoulders and squeezing. "I can't understand you. You need to calm down." Jason nods his head, keeping his voice stern to not allow the fear and worry to be revealed.

You suck in a ragged breath. "I had a nightmare." It's a sob that leaves your throat, tears falling down your face as Jason tilts his head slightly. "I can't control it sometimes." Your voice is so broken and defeated, Jason can feel the heartbreak in the marrow of his bones. "I burned him." Your head hangs as you let out another cry.

Jason sighs and he doesn't know what to do to make this better. You burned the person you’re in like with. You blame yourself and Jason hates that because it's not your fault. Sure, he's an asshole to Rachel about not controlling her powers but this is you and this is different because you can control your powers a lot better than Rachel can, at least it seems that way. You haven't tried to kill anyone with yours, on purpose or by accident. This is different and he just feels absolutely horrible and he's worried about Gar because Gar is his best friend. But, it's you who's in his room.

"Come here." Jason moves his hands away from your shoulders, pulling you into a hug, resting his hand on the back of your head.

You wrap your arms around him, your arms weak but you squeeze him as you cry into him. The last thing you want to do is hurt someone by accident but the fact it was Gar and because he's so nice to you, that's another level of guilt you’ve never felt before. It is soul-crushing to know he's hurt and the look of terror he gave you. It didn't matter that he tried not to be mad, you saw the green starting to tint his face. He's hurt and you don't know how bad because you couldn't face him. And maybe you went to Jason instead of Kory or Rachel because Jason is kind of mean when someone can't control their powers. Maybe you hoped Jason would be mean to you because you deserves it but now he's hugging you and rubbing your back.

"It's not your fault, alright?" Jason says, trying to keep his voice steady with you.

"Yes, it is!" You yell out in a sob.

"It's not." Jason says, you looking up to him. "I'd fucking tell you if it was."

"I burned him, Jay."

"Yeah, but you said it was a nightmare. It's not your fucking fault." Jason says and maybe if this happened before Deathstroke, he'd have a different opinion.

He'd probably agree with you and then tell you to make sure he's okay. But, this is after. This is the Jason after who suddenly understands what nightmares do to someone's psyche. Suddenly, he gets just how traumatizing and real the nightmares can feel, even an hour after waking up. He wakes up in a pool of sweat with a racing heartbeat, not able to fall back asleep until the following night. This isn't your fault.

"I never told him." You admit, your chin wrinkling and your voice is small.

"What?" Jason asks, his eyes widening. And now he's remembering that small conversation you had a little over a week ago when Rachel almost killed him.

"It-it wasn't a big deal b-because it never happened with Gar before. I-it only happened w-when I was alone."

"You should have told him!" Jason urges and now he's growing a little annoyed. You knew and while you told him, you should have told Gar. You spend more time in his room than Jason's. It's kind of a need to know thing.

"I know!" You let out another sob.

Jason lets out another sigh and he tries not to be annoyed because you show him patience even when you shouldn't. "Okay, is he okay?"

"I dunno, he was m-mad so-so I came in here."

"How mad was he?" Jason asks, a bit intrigued. Gar never gets mad but Jason doesn't blame him. Being burned awake sounds pretty infuriating.

"He was turning green." You whine.

Jason gains a yikes expression. "Stay here. I'll check on him." Jason pulls away. "Don't fucking go anywhere, got it?" You just stand there as Jason reaches the door. "Y/n!" Jason yells at you, making you look at him. "Sit your ass down. I'm serious, don't fucking go anywhere, I'll be right back." Jason states and you don’t fight him.

Jason watches you walk to his bed and sit on the very edge before he leaves. Jason checks Gar's room and doesn't find him there so he heads to the infirmary. That's where he finds Gar, addressing the burn on his side. He's wincing and groaning as he tries to clean it the best he can. Burns are the worst types of injuries. Nothing really helps them, they just burn.

"Hey, man." Jason walks in, standing a few feet behind Gar, watching in the mirror.

"What?" Gar asks, his voice a little snippy.

"You alright? Y/n told me." Jason says. sticking his hands in his the pockets of his sweatpants.

Gar shakes his head. "I'm fine."

Of course, you told Jason. Gar wouldn't have told anyone. It could have stayed between the two of you and you went to him. You bailed on him after you burned him to go to Jason. Maybe he shouldn’t be mad at that, but he is. His fuse is a lot shorter tonight.

"That's pretty bad." Jason can see the burn from where he stands. There are pieces of fabric glued to it and Jason winces at the sight.

"I know." Gar's voice goes quiet.

"She feels really bad." Jason states and he can't believe he's the one trying to fix something.

"She did burn me." Gar huffs.

He feels horrible for even being upset about it but it hurts. He knows it's not your fault, he knows that. But, Gar wants to know why it's always him in the crossfire of people who can't control their powers. Rachel almost took his hand off and now you gave him a third-degree chemical burn. Shit hurts.

"Yeah," Jason scoffs. "What happened anyway?" Jason asks walking over to him.

"I was asleep, next thing I know, I'm in pain." Gar huffs again, trying to pull a piece of fabric from the burn. He swears he'll never sleep with a shirt on again.

Jason winces as he watches. "She said you were turning green."

"Yeah." Gar states with hints of shame in his voice, getting the last of the fabric from the burn.

"I have her locked in my room."

Gar eyes Jason for the first time since he walked in. "Why?"

"Because she's fucking crying, man. She's losing her mind and I don't know what the fuck she's gonna do." Jason lets out a huff.

Jason knows what he would want to do if it were him so he locked the door from the outside. All the bedroom and infirmary doors lock from the inside and outside, likely some security measure type thing. It's a bit mean if you try to leave but it's better than the alternative.

Gar hangs his head, letting out a sigh. "I know it's not her fault." Gar looks back to Jason. "She's going through a lot and I should have..."

"Expected her to burn you?" Jason quips.

"No," Gar lets out a scoff. "I don't know, been prepared, I guess."

"Not your fault either." Jason states. He watches Gar try to be careful with the wound but it doesn't look like it's working. This is such a strange position for Jason to be in. It's normally you and Gar trying to help him but now he's gotta help the both of you. He owes you both. "I got an idea, you wanna help?"

Gar eyes Jason with suspension. "Depends, the last time you had an idea you and Y/n got kidnapped and dropped from a skyscraper." Gar snips, taking Jason off guard.

Jason rolls his eyes. "Thanks for reminding me." Jason snips back and he wonders if this is what you and Gar deal with with him. "It's about Y/n and you." Jason says.

"What is it?" Gar quirks a brow, his interest piquing.

This is Jason trying to help. Gar's said it a thousand times, Jason is actually a good friend. But, he is a little surprised that Jason is so willing to offer help with him and you. Gar isn't blind or stupid.

"She's cool, ya know? And you guys....are cool together, I guess." Jason swallows his pride and feelings about you and Gar almost chuckles at Jason struggling to talk. "So, I have an idea for her not to burn you....or anyone in her sleep."

"Because it's a matter of time before she burns you, too." Gar quips. Jason opens his mouth to argue but now he's just confused. "I know she sleeps in your room sometimes."

"I'm not overstepping, man." Jason defends himself quickly. "It's not like that." He wishes it were but he’s already that decision. And, you’re better off with Gar anyway.

"Right." Gar nods, not believing him.

Gar knows you and Jason aren't doing anything. Gar knows there isn't anything going on between you because neither of you would lead Gar on. But, he can see it. Everyone can see it. He knows something was going on before Deathstroke.

"Do you want my fucking help or you gonna give up on her?" Jason snaps and he knows what it's like to have someone give up. Gar isn't the type but it's sure seeming like it.

Gar's shoulders slump forward. "I'm not giving up on her." Gar's voice is small and has lost its venom. "What's your idea?" Gar lets out a sigh and goes back to cleaning his wound.

"My cape is fireproof." Jason states with a bit of pride and Gar wants to explode but he holds it together to find out what Jason means, specifically.

"Okay, and that has to do with what?"

"If it's fireproof, maybe it's Y/n proof." Jason suggests.

"Dude," Gar lets out a huff and he can't take it anymore. "What the hell is going on with you guys?"

It's not fair to him. He's waited because he thought that was the right thing to do. You were going through a lot and he didn't want to try and do anything if you weren't ready. But, Jason is always around and it's like he's in second place with Jason. Which, is fine, if Gar knows that but the two of you are so fucking wishy-washy about everything and Gar can't figure it out. This is the last straw. You burned him early in the morning and Jason is suggesting something involving one of his prized possessions.

Jason shakes his head and this is it. There's no turning back if he answers this how he needs to. Gar will tell you and that'll be it. He knows that's what's best. It's part of why he's dodging you both during the day. It's why he's hanging out with Rose. You should have someone who will protect you and you should have someone who's not going to ruin you. Gar won't do that. If you want him. It's up to you at the end of the day but Jason doesn't want to be a reason you don't choose Gar if that's what you want to do. It's your choice, but Jason doesn't want to be a reason for your choice.

"Nothing, man. We're just friends, that's all." Jason answers honestly. You are just friends but he bites down his feelings for you. "She gets me, ya know?" Jason keeps talking, trying to convince himself more than he is Gar. "And she was there last week so it's just different with her. But, there's nothing going on. I'm hanging out with Rose anyway." Jason gives Gar the fakest smirk he's ever had. "You should talk to her about it though." Jason chuckles. "She'll kill you if she thinks we're fighting over like a fucking price."

"It's not like that." Gar groans. "I'm the one who told you that!"

Jason laughs. "Yeah, but it's true." Jason defends. "She looks like she might bite me if I try anything with her."

Gar lets out a laugh. "Yeah, she does kind of look like she'd punch you." You absolutely do not look like you'd bite him or punch him if Jason tried anything, but Gar decides to agree with him anyway.

"Exactly, so if you wanna go for it, you should. Even though she just burned you." Jason sucks in a breath. "You're good together and you seem to make her happy."

"Thanks, Jason." Gar lets out a sigh. "What about your cape?"

"We're not using my cape, actually." Jason states. "But, if it's fireproof, maybe it's resident against chemicals. It's zylon so it should be. Bruce has access to the best materials and my cape is no different. It took blasts from that fucking lightbulb like it was nothing. Didn't even feel warm." Jason says as if he's bragging about it. "What if I call Bruce? See if he can get gloves or some shit? Test 'em out, just until her nightmares stop. She can still sleep with you and you won't get burned."

Gar's eyes are slightly narrowed as if expecting Jason to be up to something. This is most Jason has said all week. "That's nice of you." Gar keeps his eyes narrowed before he goes back to his wound. "Do you think Bruce will help?"

Jason shrugs. "Probably," Jason watches Gar before going to one of the cabinets and grabbing the petroleum jelly and a non-stick bandage. "Here." Jason hands them over as Gar gets the last piece of fabric. "Wash it first."

"Yeah...I know." Gar says slowly. "Who are you and what have you done with Jason?"

Jason laughs. "What?"

"You're being really nice right now and it's weird." Gar's eyeing Jason with suspicion and confusion. He’s never seen Jason this helpful before.

Jason shrugs. "Look, you guys have been there for me so I owe you guys." Jason says with a shrug of his shoulders. "You're my best friends."

Gar smiles softly. "Thank you, Jason."

"Don't mention it." Jason smiles. "You should check on her when you're done. I'll keep her in my room to make sure she doesn't lose it."

"I will, thanks." Gar nods and Jason leaves.

Jason heads back to his room and he feels a little better with talking with Gar. They had the conversation Jason didn't think they'd ever have or even needed to. But, it's out in the open now and he can't take any of it back. And he knows that he was able to help, at least a little bit.

Jason finds you sitting at the edge of his bed with tears still staining your cheeks. Jason sighs and sits next to you. You’ve been sitting and staring at the wall with a heavy chest. You’ve been thinking about how much you’re supposed to be able to handle before you finally snap. Something is bound to happen sooner or later and that will just be it. You’re dreading it and you’re terrified of what it'll be and how many more people you'll end up hurting because of it.

"He's fine." Jason assures you.

"I burned him so I know that's fucking bullshit." You huff with a scratchy voice.

"Yeah, like he's gotta fucked up burn but he's fine. He's not mad at you or anything."

"I don't believe--"

"He's fucking fine." Jason cuts you off. "I didn't tell him you knew, either. Don't beat yourself up for it, alright?"

"I deserve to though."

"No, you don't." Jason shakes his head. "Look, okay, he fucking cares about you and he likes you so just...let him." Jason nods his head and you turn your head slowly to look at him, wiping your cheeks.

"W-what?"

"Like, I said, you deserve for someone to take care of you." Jason swallows thickly before furrowing his brows. "Let him and stop beating yourself up for it." You shake your head. "You like him, don't you?" Jason lets out a scoff.

You pause and maybe that should tell you all you need to know about the two boys. Even with it being complicated, the question isn't. It's a simple yes or no question that you do have the answer to. But, you find yourself pausing anyway because it doesn't feel that simple. Jason is the one always telling you you like Gar and you agree with him. It's always been easier agreeing with him because it's true, than it is to have to admit anything else that comes tied with that. Admitting it fully, right now with this conversation, is closing the door on you and Jason. You don't want that door to close on your end, it can close on his, but not on yours. So, you’re willing to have the real conversation.

"Yeah, I do." You nod.

"Okay--"

"Not done." You shake your head. "But...I like--" You pause and you see this look Jason gives you and it's screaming.

It's like you can see him holding his breath, waiting for you to finish the sentence. For that second, you question if you should continue the sentence. Maybe running would be better. Maybe living in a state of what if could be better. And Jason is waiting for you to finish the sentence. He's torn between hoping you tell him you like him, too because despite everything said and done between the two of you, those words have never been said. And he hopes you change pace because if you tell him that you like him, he'll ditch everything he's thought about that and decide it's worth it. He knows he will and that might poison you. So, he's waiting and just a few seconds feels like hours.

And you pivot because you have to run from it. You and Jason could be good and work, it'd be fun and everything you’ve ever wanted. That seems too good to be true though. So, you run.

"Like, I burned him, ya know? And that's..." There's a brokenness that clouds your eye as you steer away from the conversation that should have been. "That's just a lot."

Jason nods and he acts like it doesn't hurt the very center of his heart. "So?" Jason scoffs. "It's always gonna be a lot." Jason shakes his head. "It was an accident. You call me out for shit all the fucking time, take your own fucking advice." Jason states.

You nod your head and the decision is sealed.

You always thought about Jason and Gar. You weigh them and you think about how wrong that is. But, every time you go towards Jason, think about him dying. How much it will hurt when he dies. It's inevitable. You swear it is because Jason is Robin. The Joker will kill him. Or the Riddler. Mr. Freeze. One of them will one day. Deathstroke was luck. But, he won't get that lucky forever and you don't want to be the one with a dead boyfriend. And you don't want to burden him if you’re the one that dies first. Jason's been through too much. And you’re just as reckless. One day, you'll die, too from some stupid decision you made and it'll destroy him. You won't let him be the one to hold that burden of the boyfriend who couldn't save his girlfriend. And you don't want him to ever feel like he should die for you because of your feelings for each other. Deathstroke was proof of that and you can't let him do that. At least as friends and no chance of anything else, maybe he won't die for you. Maybe when the day comes when one of you does die, it won't hurt so much.

And on top of all of that, Jason isn't what you need. You want him. Despite every reason you have to not like him and not want to be with him, you do want him. But, you need Gar and you want Gar. Because Gar is still safe. Gar can handle the world being thrown at him. You have no idea how that boy does it, but he does. And Gar makes you want to make better choices and not be as reckless. You need to learn how to have some self-preservation and Gar can teach you that.

Jason makes you want to burn a city down but Gar makes you want to learn how to put the fire out without destroying yourself. It's not as fun, you swear it's not, but maybe it's better for you. Maybe Gar is better for you even if you’re afraid you'll end up ruining him. Even if you’re worried you'll break his heart one day. Gar is a better option because you’re traumatized and Gar doesn't care about any of it. And he's safe and logical and fun in ways that aren't reckless. There isn't that adrenaline rush with Gar, but you do like him and you think maybe, if you try, you could love him one day. Maybe he'll be fun like Jason with time. Maybe he'll fill those things you like about Jason with time. So, you pick Gar.

"Alright." Jason nods and it's as if there's this silent conversation had between the two of you where you know. You both know how this would be different and you know it hurts the two of you. But, you both stick with it anyway because maybe it is for the best, for everyone.

"Thanks, Jay" You give him a fake but subtle smile.

"Yeah, no problem." Jason clears his throat as he jerks his head towards Gar who's standing in the doorway with a new shirt on. You turn and your heart drops into your stomach.

Gar hasn't heard much of your conversation, just the very end of it. But, the way Jason's looking at you, there was a lot more to that conversation. It's the look of pain and heartbreak on Jason's face that tells Gar he is not going to take Jason's advice. There's something between you and Jason and Gar isn't going to subject himself to it. If you want to, that's awesome but Gar isn't going to make that move.

"I'm going to train." Jason stands up.

"Jay." You groan.

"I'm up anyway, might as well." Jason forces a grin to his face before leaving before either of you can stop him.

"Hey." Gar greets, keeping his distance.

"I'm...I-I'm so sorry." You swallow thickly. "I-I never meant--"

"It's okay." Gar assures you. "I'll be fine." Gar gives you a soft and subtle smile. "Are you okay?"

"Are you?" You flip the question. This isn't about you.

"Yeah, it, uh, it hurts but I'll be okay." Gar moves to sit by you. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

"You should have freaked out. I should have told you." You hang your head. "I, uh, i-it happens sometimes. I-I've never melted anything or anything like that before. I-I don't know what happened but I-I should-should have you."

"Yeah," Gar nods his head. "Yeah, that probably would have been nice to know." Gar lets out a gentle laugh. "It would have happened anyway though. It's okay."

You shake your head. "It's all messed up."

"It'll get better." Gar assures you. "I'll heal and you'll get better. The nightmares almost stopped before, they'll stop again."

"You're always so optimistic." You shake your head but there's a smile pulling at your lips.

"Someone has to be. Everyone here has enough negativity." Gar chuckles.

"Thanks for not being mad." You sniffle.

"I can't stay mad at you." Gar laughs and his cheeks start to heat up.

"You're so understanding." You let out a scoff but you have a smile. "Are we okay?"

Gar nods softly. "Of course."

Now is not the time to bring any of this up. It's a fresh wound and in order for it to not feel forced or out of guilt, you want to wait before you have the conversation with Gar. You want a little bit of time to sit with your feelings on the decision. You want to make sure that you picking Gar, isn't an obligation or the wrong choice. If you’re going to pick him you have to be sure. It's not fair to him if you aren't. So, you do not take Jason's advice right now. You offer Gar a sincere smile.

"Want breakfast? I'm wide awake so..." You laugh softly.

"I'll help this time." Gar chuckles. "I'm definitely not going back to bed."

"Well, come on then, Gar." You stand up, sucking up the heaviness in your chest as you stick out your hand to Gar. "Let's get some food." Gar hesitates but just for a second before taking your hand gently in his.

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#gar logan #jason todd #gar logan x reader #garfield logan x reader #jason todd x reader #gar logan fanfic #gar logan fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #caving in

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Colours in Our Skyy 2 Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars ep 3

In which I get a little bit more meta than I usually do...

So as we know, this ep was spent mostly in the forest on a few days during which the characters couldn't change clothes, which means there are less colours/clothes to comment on. That being said, the red and blue pairings were provided in all possible places.

Tian's plaid shirt from the night before also has thin red stripes to accompany the blue, and kampung's jersey and Pran's tote bag offer another pairing. I think there's also blue, red and yellow in Kampung's t-shirt. I love that Pran brought his bag with him - despite being lost in the forest, Pat is still metaphorically with him. I think it's also interesting that Pran's shirt looks almost camouflage, and that he mostly wears it when he's taking the lead - looking after Tian on the way to Bull Camp and then accompanying Phupha when Kampung goes missing. Knowing that Pran ends up portraying Phupha in the play - and despite Pran playing Tian in his and Pat's role-playing of the other couple - it's a clever choice in this ep.

Pat, on the other hand, does get a change of clothes at the start of this ep, and with the brown, green, and cream he looks like he's trying to imitate the rangers' uniform to be included in the search party.

Plenty of people have commented on how Pran and Tian have been made to look very similar, especially with their hair, but in the below scene it's so clear how the show is trying to have the characters 'imitate' each other. Pran and Tian are in the same colours, only the white and yellow are reversed in their clothing. Pat and Phupha, as already mentioned, also sporting the same colours. But the mixed-pairings also have similar shoes - Pran and Tian in canvas lace-ups with cream toes/soles, and Pat and Phupha in leather boots. The show is really drilling into us, 'look how similar these people are!', but as we learn from their interactions it seems Pran and Phupha are more alike, as are Pat and Tian (hence why they end up playing those roles in the play).

Once Pat and Tian have made their way back to the village, Pat changes into his teal shorts and a brown shirt. I haven't offered much colour-interpretation yet in this post but in general brown and olive green feature quite heavily this ep, especially with all the camouflage. I think this partly comes more from the atots side of this crossover and the use of earth tones in the original series, but it's incheresting that there's been so. much. talk. about sacrificing arising from this ep. I won't go into it all but they're all dealing with something (or multiple things) they have to yield on or sacrifice.

But Pat here, below, has a moment - a mini-Oh! moment - where he realises he has to yield to himself. Having this 'nonsense' fight with Pran and going through their experiences in Pha Pun Dao has made Pat confront and admit to himself something which he either hasn't realised or has been repressing for a long time - that he can't live without Pran. Yes, Pat has always wanted to be around Pran, he always wants to help him, and he's been depressingly lonely without him...but being unable to live without Pran seems heavier. And this realisation goes beyond acquiescing on the fight with Pran, because it has consequences for the bigger picture of their lives and hiding from their families. And that's scary. So no wonder he's perhaps repressed this from himself, instead feeling easier to tease Pran about him always needing Pat, to bicker about who needs the other the most, and to sit in the nonsense fight rather than acknowledge what it really means.

Incidentally, I like that Pat pulled the watch out of his shorts pocket - the object that Pran links to Pat and the teal that seems to symbolise their union as a couple.

Someone (sorry I don't remember who) mentioned that Pat wears a lot more stripy shirts now than he ever did in BBS, which is potentially an influence from Pran, but I love that they're both wearing their love and happiness when they reunite back at the village. I also sat up at seeing Tian's brown t-shirt with the yellow rectangle over his heart - reminiscent of Pran's long-sleeved top in ep 8 of BBS. Tian is ready to sacrifice himself and his health again to go into the forest to look for Kampung and Phupha, with his love for them driving him to do it. (In ep 8, Pran's love for Pat took him away from drinking with Wai to comfort a sullen Pat).

And then on to that final scene with Pat and Pran and we get Pat in Pran's red and cream/yellow shorts, and Pran in Pat's dark blue (or their teal)...and an ominous dark green. They're finding a resolution to their little fight but it's bittersweet.

Coming back to what I was saying about Pat's Oh! moment above, I think him asking Pran to apply the bruise cream was a way for Pat to admit to himself and Pran, albeit subtly, that he does need Pran, and for Pran to understand that admission. (And I'll quickly say that I don't think Pran needed to be the one to say it first but I'll come back to that below). When Pat gives Pran's watch back, however, he reverts to the teasing "Like I said, you can't live without me", he's trying to keep things jovial. Tian has already told Pran about Pat's realisation though - not to aid any teasing or to bolster one side of the fight, he doesn't seem that type of character (he's not a gremlin like Pat and Pran). No, I think he sees that Pat and Pran need this knowledge open between them and facilitates a way for it to happen. In true PatPran fashion, Pran goads Pat into saying it and Pat's soft look to Pran shows his gratitude to have the opportunity (below). Pat needs to admit it out loud to himself and to Pran - the person to whom it means the most for him to hear it. His sigh before he says it is a relief, it's releasing the hold he's had on his fear about what it might mean for them, and Pran's reaction helps alleviate that.

Pran's "Neither can I" isn't as big and dramatic as Pat's statement, but that's because it's not revelatory, not for Pran (who's known it since he fell for Pat in high school and couldn't get over him even after being sent away and pushing Pat away once they had reunited at Uni), and not for Pat - there was always some truth in Pat's original words, "without me, he can't do anything" and they both know that. Pran wasn't the one who needed to admit to Pat that he needs Pat because it's been known all along. But Pran repeating now, in his own way, that he can't live without Pat helps to strengthen their bond.

This moment is bittersweet because of their situation - there is no option to not be together, they've known this already but now it's been explicitly said, so until their parents can be comfortable with them together they will always be hiding something, making sacrifices. This is their life. They're able to understand that on a deeper level.

With this understanding, Pran, unable to do or say anything else, takes his focus to something tangible: The watch, and what it represents - Pat, his time with Pat, their history and connection from childhood, the gaps when they were separated, and their reuniting in Uni. @btwinlines started off a great thread about how time stops for Pat and Pran when they're apart, but the watch also represents how time might make things easier in the future and that all they can do is hope. And, in the meantime, love each other the best they can through all these little fights they have. It's not a grand resolution for them, like Phupha and Tian get later in the show, because they're not in the same place as the other couple. This is just a snapshot of their journey towards where we see them at the end of ep 12 in BBS, so if it feels like they're in limbo when we leave them, they are, but with a renewed perspective of each other and the poignancy of it all.

I'm almost certain this will be a coincidence, but I love that when Pran puts the watch on again it's almost at the same time as when he reset it at the end of BBS ep 1. I love that it's ten minutes later though, because it symbolises how time has moved on for them - i.e how much has changed - since they got together, and therefore how much more will change as time keeps moving forward. And that's something they can trust in.

[ep 1] [ep 2] [ep 3] [ep 4] (<- I was right to be hopeful!)

#bad buddy #our skyy 2 #our skyy 2 x bad buddy #our skyy 2 x a tale of thousand stars #our skyy 2 x atots #our skyy 2 x bbs x atots #colours in our skyy 2 bbs x atots #I've rambled A LOT in this one but I had THOUGHTS #I'm not sure if I've made my point well or not #because I've been thinking about it so much that I may have lost the plot #but here it is...I hope it sparks something in you #there's just something about pat realising things and/or needing to say them out loud #and pran providing the opportunities for pat do that #that happens in bbs and I think that's what they've done here too #uservid #mjtag #usernuria #userjjessi #userkit #user111 #tosnimeat #<- in case you're interested! #no worries if not #colours in our skyy 2 bad buddy

[babyjakes]

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event | whumptember 2022

prompt | flashback

pairing | daddy!steve rogers x little!reader

warnings | sfw daddy!steve, trauma/ptsd/flashbacks, trauma was experienced in childhood (no details or specifics given, reader does say “owwy” once to indicate pain), this one’s heavier than all the others but it feels really important to me still, therapeutic/coping practices i’ve personally learned/utilized included

word count | 677

daddy!steve knows a lot about ptsd and helping with flashbacks from helping bucky once he was rescued from hydra, it breaks his heart that his little girl has to struggle with such severe episodes of reliving her trauma but he is always prepared and ready to assist in the most gentle, soothing ways

maybe reader experienced a lot of terrible stuff during childhood and so being in littlespace can be a bit of a double edged sword, sometimes it brings up unexpected memories that can be difficult to navigate or avoid

steve knows the exact expression that appears on reader’s face when it begins. it starts with a strange, spacey look in her eyes. he usually tries to pause whatever they’re doing to just get a handle on the situation

maybe one day they’re playing with some of her toys on her rug and steve makes a gesture with one of the dolls that sets her off. she gets the wide eyed, deer in the headlights look as her gaze is settled on something in the distance. her voice always becomes so small and she becomes stuck halfway between what she’s remembering and where she is in the present

“baby?” steve’s pushed the toys aside, gently sitting in front of her with his legs crossed. he doesn’t want to touch her yet in case it might be too much “can you focus on my voice, sweetheart?”

tears are trailing down reader’s cheeks but she can’t move to wipe them away. she’s shaking, or more like jerking as everything replays in her mind. “owwy.. please… d-daddy?”

steve can’t help but feel so helpless every time 😔 there’s only so much he can do, when he would really like to just rip the horrible memories out of her sweet little head for good. “daddy’s right here, baby. right here with you- you’re safe, doll”

“h-happening again,” she whimpers, they both know now it’s sort of a waiting game until her brain can settle down. waiting for it to be over’s the worst part

“i know, baby. it’s okay, daddy’s here with you” she can’t see him 😔 can just see the horrible flashes of images as they assault her memory. that’s why it’s so important he keeps talking to her, telling her he’s right there. “can i hold your hand, baby? safe touch, just daddy’s hand on yours”

she offers a little nod, maybe touch is something they’ve worked up to as they’ve had to go through these episodes together. his hand is so gentle, so careful as he places it on hers. she flinches a little but let’s him, he rubs circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. still talking to her, trying to keep her with him “still right here baby. doing so good. daddy loves you so much, y/n. you’re okay, you’re safe”

she cries through it, something she wasn’t able to do as a child. though it’s hard to watch, Steve knows it’s important for her to be able to let out all the sadness and hurt and fear she had to hold in at such a young age, for so long. he shushes her soothingly as she cries, acknowledging her pain. “i know, baby. i’m so sorry. so, so sorry little one. daddy’s right here, sweet girl. you’re alright, you’re not alone”

when things are slowly beginning to wind down, she’s able to interact a little more and tolerate more help steve might be able to give. he helps to ground her back into the room, talking about all her favorite things in her little-friendly bedroom. her fluffy bed with all her stuffed animals, her play rug with all her toys, the big rainbow mural steve painted on one of the walls, all the art and pictures they’ve made together hanging from a set of string lights. when she’s ready, she crawls into his lap, exhausted and in need of lots of snuggles

“there’s my pretty girl, i got you baby. come here, little love. daddy can’t wait to hold you”

#eun’s writing #whumptember 2022 #Steve rogers #Steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #hurt/comfort #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #daddy!steve rogers #steve rogers x little!reader #steve rogers headcanon #steve rogers drabble #steve rogers blurb #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers imagine #captain america #captain america fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction

[talesofmuscles]

Sweat It Off

Antoine Vaillant struts into the local gym in the town that he is currently taking a vacation on. Of course, with that size and popularity, he gets a free pass to entrance. Inside the gym, he can see that only the light weights look worn and used while the heavier set is almost pristine. He gives a chuckle to himself as he looks around. Naturally, he is the biggest guy here. He must commend this local gym to have all the top equipment when none of the goers have the size of strength to use them.

Antoine decides to warm up first which attracts even more people to look at him. He knows that everyone loves seeing his muscle curls up and expand; it just natural to follow the alpha. The 6 feet, nearly 300 pounds hunk decides to put on a show. Between each reps, he would strike a pose that causes the crowd to fawn over.

“Thank you thank you,” Antoine puts the weights down and gives the crowd a big flex, “now if you excuse me, I have a big man workout to do.”

After dismissing the crowd, Antoine climbs on a machine and sets it to maximum. Before he can start, a man walks by him.

“Are you the guy that doesn’t rack the weight when you’re done?” the man asks.

“Depends,” Antoine intimates the man with his size, “who’s asking?”

“I’m just doing my job sir,” the man is taken aback, “just being the attendant on duty.”

“Then fuck off and clean then,” Antoine huffs as he starts his set, ignoring the attendant.

Shaking his head in defeat, the man just left the giant bodybuilder to workout. Antoine only stops when he can feel his body pumping and sweating. Grabbing his towel and getting up, Antoine notices signs posting “WIPE DOWN EQUIPMENTS AFTER WORKOUT. NO EXCEPTION.” The big man cannot help but scoff; it’s not like they can throw him out.

As he moves onto the next workout equipment , he can feel someone bump into his body. He looks down and sees a scrawny almost 5 foot guy. The college student who bumped into Antoine profusely apologizes. Antoine is in a good mood today so he let it slide. On the next set, Antoine is pumped as he sets the thing at max again. Before he starts he looks back and sees the college student using the equipment he just used. The sight of that scrawny guy wiping his sweat gives him a sense of pride that people would just do whatever he wanted. As Antoine grabs onto the equipment he gets shocked by something. Pulling back in confusion, the big man thinks it is just normal static build up.

The college student gets shocked as he sets the weight. He yelps and pulls back his hand. The sting lingers as he climbs on and starts working out. The moment when both men start pushing the machines, the sting is gone. As the men push their respective machines, a sensation hits them. The college student feels more energetic while Antoine is getting more tired. Antoine cannot believe his body already gives out what is usually his normal routine. When they finish using the machine, both seem to sweat more than normal which drench their machine. As usual, Antoine walks away while the college student spends his time wiping the machine clean.

For their next exercise, both men pick up their respective dumbbells. Antoine cannot help but look at how small the college student’s dumbbells are. He expects that little guy to be able to handle more than five pounds. As both men lift, the shock comes and goes again. Both men grunts loudly as they feel the pumped of lifting. Today, the dumbbells seem to be just at the perfect weight to pump. Antoine is surprised he can feel this pumped after the first workout but when he finishes, he can’t believe what he’s seeing. In both of his hands, Antoine is holding 1 pound dumbbells and is barely able to hold them up with his massive muscular arms. Looking at the college student, he is perplexed that the twiggy man is curling with 150 pounds dumbbells with ease.

“Alright,” Antoine throws the dumbbells down on the floor hard, “what the hell did you do to me?”

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you mean,” the college student sets his dumbbell down gently.

“Don’t fuck with me,” Antoine walks toward the student, towering over the thin man. “All this morning I had a shitty day because of you,” Antoine yells, “you walked in and ruined my workout.”

“I’m sorry sir I really don’t know,” the meek thin college student says, “if I’ve done anything, I meant no harm and must have been an accident.”

“Why you,” Antoine grabs onto the student shirt and tries lifting him up; somehow, Antoine is struggling even when all of his massive muscles flex. It is like the skinny college student has gained too much weight or Antoine has lost all of his strength. Both of his tree trunk legs shake as he attempts to pick the man that is significantly smaller than him up. Sweats pour out profusely and Antoine breathes like he is trying to do a deadlift.

The college student sees how much Antoine is struggling and wants to stop this fight before the bigger man gets hurt. He places his hands onto Antoine’s hands which shock them both so hard, they get separated.

“See,” Antoine yells as he stumbles backward, “stop doing that.”

“I don’t know,” the college student looks at his hands confused, “it’s not me.”

“What’s going on,” Antoine’s body shakes and tingles. When Antoine looks back at the mirror, he sees that he's getting shorter. “What the fuck?” he yells in horror as the ground is getting closer and closer. His bones compress onto itself and it is painful.

“Make it stop,” Antoine screams as he is now a 4'9 muscle ball rather than a man.

“I don’t know how,” Antoine looks up to the source of the voice and sees a tall slender body looking down at him. “Everything is so small,” the 6’7 student says.

Antoine tries to run away or wake up, anything to escape the situation. As he takes his first step, his thick muscles lock onto each other and he quickly stumbles and falls down.

“Are you ok?” The college students reach down to help which causes Antoine to panic and tries to crawl away.

“Don’t touch me,” Antoine yells again but it’s too late. The student’s finger slightly brushes against his pecs which sends another sock between them.

Both men moan at the same time as the shock arouses their cocks. Antoine workout shorts tents up as his thick 10 inch monster is awakened. The college student’s shorts show little to no changes as his tiny 1 inch cock rises up. When they both look at each other, it seems their cock is facing toward each other. Both men moan as again as the shock travels from Antoine toward the student.

“No!” Antoine reaches out to his dick knowing what is about to happen. His thick muscle clashes for space as his arms make a futile attempt to reach his cock.

Both men look and feel the sudden orgasmic change happening to their body. Antoine’s tent pole is noticeably getting shorter and thinner as his shorts fabric slowly gets flatter and flatter. Inversely, the college student’s shorts begin to make tearing noises as his bulge gets fatter and longer. The transfer keeps going until the tall slender student is holding a 13 inch hard cock. A proportional anomaly as it is the thickest thing on the student body. Antoine wanes as his pride just disappears in front of him. The fabric of Antoine shorts only rubs against his baseball size balls as his quarter inch cock is too small to be touched.

“Make it stop,” Antoine now pleads with the student, “I don’t want this anymore.”

The student takes a breather from viewing his cock magnificent growth. He looks down at the ball of muscle in front of him.

“You were being very rude to me earlier,” the student crosses his bony arms across his flat chest, “and breaking the gym rules.”

Antoine looks up at the man. “I’m sorry ok,” he is desperately saying anything to please the tall skinny man, “I’ll do better. I’ll even send you gifts for this.”

“You're not sorry,” the college student grabs Antoine fat balls with his boney arm, “you just want to get out of this situation and never face it again. You know what, I will help you by making you learn to be kind and thoughtful.”

“No please,” Antoine arcs up and cums. In a flash, his shorts just lay flat on where his bulge used to be. The only thing that is stretching the shorts now are his massive legs. “Don’t do it,” Antoine tries to sound commanding but his pitch increases as his balls shrink like raisins.

“I never want to hurt you,” the student's voice deepened as his balls swung heavily with his cock. His demeanor changes but not his compassion. “You use your size to bully others and get what you want,” the student continues and he holds up Antoine into and embraces easily like holding up an inflatable ball, “now you have to learn to be small again.”

“No don’t,” Antoine protests as he wiggles around in vain. Every movement just makes the transformation faster. His wide shoulders retract onto each other, making his whole body look even smaller. His arms deflate as the giant balls of muscle on his biceps flatten out until they just look like sticks. His massive legs’ muscles collapse onto themselves which makes his shorts and shoes slip down and out those slender legs. His pumped pecs shrivels up and pushes themselves backward onto his body. His abs soften and lose their definition until he is left with a tiny fragile body. A small 4'9 man with half an inch erect cock and and raisin balls that has never workout before is what Antoine looks like now.

The student, however, gets a massive boost. Shoulders push outward from each other as muscles build up from his neck down his back. His arms explode in size as the once bony arms are now packed with powerful thick muscles. Without even flexing, his arms could easily be compared to the size of a basketball. His stick looking legs stretch the remaining of his tiny shorts on his body. As the muscles inflate, veins bulge out to support the now massive trees that rip the shorts into pieces of fabric. His pecs swell up like someone pumping a balloon. The flatten chest rises up into huge dunes of muscle then becoming massive mounds of muscles. His stomach stretches out as each session of it builds up their own bumpy muscles, creating perfect abs on his body. What was once a tiny weak looking man is now a 6’7 muscle god with swinging orange size balls and a thick 13 inch cock.

“It feels so good,” the student flexes his godly muscles as his booming deep voice spreads across the room.

“Give it back,” Antoine hits onto the student's massive mountain of a chest, “that’s all my hard work. It’s not fair that you get all of it.”

“Why should I?” the student glares at Antoine, “In fact, I will just leave you like this so you can learn to be nicer to others.”

“I promise I’ll change,” Antoine begs, “just give it back.”

“Then prove it,” the student’s voice bellows.

“I can’t,” Antoine stammers, “I’m too small and weak. I can’t even lift those dumbbells.”

“Convenient excuse,” the college student sets Antoine down, “now I’m going to get changed. You will clean it up when I get back, understand?”

“Yes,” Antoine meekly says. As the student leaves and picks up Antoine ‘s clothes, the tiny man tries to rack back his dumbbell up. They are so heavy even though it is only 1 pound that Antoine is struggling and sweating from trying to lift them up. Before he can successfully do it, the attendant of duty walks up to him. With his current size, the once unfit small attendant is now an intimidating looking man.

“No clothes, no service buddy,” the attendant says.

“But…” Antoine tries to explain.

“No but,” the attendant grabs Antoine and brings him out of the door before throwing him out, “get some clothes then maybe you can get back.”

“Wait no,” Antoine tries to reenter but gets kicked out again, “someone in there had my clothes you have to let me in.”

Antoine is completely defeated, alone and naked as he hears the front door gets locked.

#muscle theft #outsider tales

[morningglory-sims]

From New Beginnings.. ❤️

Is it too soon to come up with a ship name for these 2??? Claire's Bio | Nate's Bio

Previous Story Post/Next Story Post

Transcript under the cut:

*KNOCK KNOCK*

[CLAIRE] Well, here we go! I haven't felt this excited for a date in awhile.

[NATE] Hey, Haines. You look beautiful, as usual!

[CLAIRE] *blushes* Hey, Ballard. You look great, I like the shirt and jacket!

[NATE] I thought you would! *winks* Let's get going, cutie!

[WAITER] So one glass of merlot, one Perrier, the butternut gnocchi and the pasta primavera! Sounds great, folks! I'll get those started for you!

[CLAIRE] Thank you!

[NATE] Thank you!

[CLAIRE] This place is really lovely. Great choice, Nate!

[NATE] Thank you! Are you surprised I chose a place like this? Especially since I don't drink.

[CLAIRE] Not at all! I think restaurants shouldn't make it impossible for people who don't drink, regardless of the reason, enjoy their time out!

[NATE] I'm grateful for people like you who have that mindset, especially regardless of the reason.

[CLAIRE] Goodness! You lost your father to a drunk driver. You should never be shamed for deciding to stop drinking. It's highly admirable, Nate.

[NATE] I appreciate that, Claire. I have to honour my dad, you know how much family means to me! Speaking of family, what is the rest of your family like? I've known you for a few years and I just realized I know so little about them!

[CLAIRE] Yeah! You only know about my twin, Natalie. Even though it's hard to talk about my family, I feel safe with you and want you to know about them. Natalie and I were raised by our grandparents and our aunt in Brindleton Bay.

[CLAIRE] Our parents didn't want us as soon as they realized we weren't going to be cute and cuddly all the time. Our grandparents officially took us in when we were four and my parents disappeared. We felt a lot of love from our grandparents, but still wondered if our parents would ever come back and love us. To be closer to our high school and extra curriculars, we moved in with my aunt.

[CLAIRE] That was difficult. While they're our family and we felt loved, we still felt like outsiders. Our cousins got to experience having parents who love them, and I know they resented us being there. So, I spent a lot of time at Caroline's especially in high school. So, it's really only been Nat and I through it all.

[CLAIRE] Shit, I hope I don't sound ungrateful, because I am so lucky to have friends who have become family! I got to go to law school and I have a roof over my head. I have an amazing therapist that has helped me work through the heavier stuff. But yeah, family looks a little different for me! Bit of an overshare for a first date.

[NATE] I am so sorry your parents left you. I hope you know it wasn't you or Natalie's fault. I can't imagine the pain you have experienced. I'm sure those feelings and fears never really go away.

[CLAIRE] Nothing means more than being reminded it wasn't my fault.

[NATE] I will remind you of that until I can't anymore. Thank you for trusting me with something so heavy.

[NATE] And just so you know this, I don't see you any differently. Knowing more about your family just affirms my belief that you are kind-hearted, smart and incredibly resilient. 

[CLAIRE] I appreciate that so much Nate. So, I don't seem any crazier to you? *winks*

[NATE] *smirks* Well you know I think that anyone who is willing to go through law school has to be a little crazy.

[CLAIRE] Oh come on! *chuckles*

[NATE] *leans in* If I'm going to answer seriously, I think you are even more crazy beautiful.

[CLAIRE] Oh Nate Ballard, you're a flirt!

[NATE] Uh yeah, I absolutely am with you! And you like it!

[CLAIRE] Mm, you're right, only like it when it's you!

[NATE] I like this flirty side of you, Claire Haines.

[WAITER] Just letting you both know that your food will be out shortly!

[NATE] Oh, uh thank you for letting us know!

[CLAIRE] *is blushing HARD*

[CLAIRE] Nate?

[NATE] Claire?

[CLAIRE] Thank you for tonight, I had a wonderful time - I always do with you.

[NATE] *caresses cheek, smiles* So did I, Claire. Thank you for letting me in to a really vulnerable part of your life. I think you're quite special.

[CLAIRE] You're one of the safest people I know. So you're pretty damn special.

[NATE] *rests forehead against Claire's* Oh Claire, that means so much. I really like you.

[CLAIRE] *rests forehead against Nate's closes eyes* I really like you, too.

[NATE] *gently pulls Claire's face closer to his*

May I?

[CLAIRE] Mmhm.

[NATE] *kisses Claire*

[NATE] *smiles* I've wanted to do that for so long!

[CLAIRE] *smiles, blushes*

[NATE] Sadly, it's getting super late.

Let's get you home, beautiful.

[CLAIRE] *slightly pouts* Oh shoot it is, and you have to travel back to Windenburg!

[NATE] It's only 30 minutes and you're worth every second!

[NATE] How's your week looking next week?

[CLAIRE] Any evening but Thursday, Natalie's dresses are being modelled at a fashion show.

[NATE] Can I take you out

Friday night?

[CLAIRE] 'Il pencil you in *winks*

[NATE] Excellent. I'll text you later with the plans! Maybe we'll even run into each other during the week.

[CLAIRE] I hope so, I won't turn down any excuse to see you.

[NATE] *smirks*

[CLAIRE] Please let me know when you get home safe!

[NATE] Will do, Claire Haines, Attorney at Law.

[CLAIRE] Oh you.

[NATE] *leans in and kisses Claire*

#also please don't mind the height difference in the last 3 photos #ideally that would be their height difference #sims 4 screenshots #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 simblr #sims 4 #sims 4 story #the sims 4 #my sims #simblr #sims 4 maxis match #sims 4 creator #ts4 story #ts4 maxis match #ts4 simblr #ts4 gameplay #ts4 #ts4 screenshots #sims story #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 edit #the sims 4 valentines #ts4 legacy #*claire #*nate #oshaughnessystory

[translatemunson]

track five — the ex tapes

warnings: not proofread. female reader.

author's note: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE DURING THIS SERIES! (sorry i took too long to update). this is the last chapter, and the epilogue will be posted tomorrow! hope you like it!

series masterlist

It has been weeks. Eddie kept his part of the promise. No calls, no mentions of you — actually, he only talked about how amazing it was to work with Charlie Rogers and how he was happy to get someone that’s not usually from the rock scene to work on something so honest, but so powerful at the same time.

Having your name on the credits had turned out to be a thing for a successful song. You were working so much these days that you feel you’re reaching your limits. Of course, working with Corroded Coffin added a few more people interested to your list, and you were trying to fit everyone.

But you just couldn’t.

That’s why you decided to go on a break. It was a good time since Nancy and Robin were in town, so you would have some time to go out and help them find a place to move in. Driving around LA and having late nights with your friends was everything you needed to keep your mind off work.

And away from the new hit song from Corroded Coffin. 

Kinda impossible to forget when the song keeps playing non stop at every radio station. A few days ago, you got a special delivery from the band’s manager: a VIP ticket and an official invite to watch them at one of the sold out Los Angeles concerts, where they would play the song live for the first time. Little did he know you already had tickets for the most distant seat from the stage.

That’s where you’re watching the concert right now. You bought their CDs, listened to all their songs, learned how to sing them. And even if it hurted you to admit, you are really liking it. The energy, how they can control the crowd and engage effortlessly.

And Eddie. You can’t take your eyes off him.

The lights are lowered and the instruments stop. Eddie takes the center stage, a different guitar in his hands. It’s the same one he played when you recorded the song. He pulls his hair back and smiles.

“Having a good time?” The crowd screams. “Glad to hear that. I’m kinda nervous, y’know? I have this special song, like you all heard it already and something says it’s a fans’ favorite,” he smiles and you swear he found you in the middle of the crowd. No, it’s just something in your mind. “It’s also my favorite. This one is special because I wrote it with someone that’s really good with words, and I feel like this is more personal than anything that I wrote.”

His confession is followed by a small pause. He scans the faces around, looking at a specific place close to the stage. Maybe that’s where he was expecting to see you. As soon as reality hits — you’re not there, you didn’t accept his offer — he looks to the band and then smiles to the crowd, wearing the Eddie rockstar Munson mask over his sadness.

“I feel like since this is our second sold out show in LA, I might sing it live. What do you think?”

Everyone screams. People know the words to it, and as a songwriter you can’t lie, this is always fulfilling. However this one song hurts the most to hear. Eddie strums the first note and you feel like someone is taking your heart out.

You'll be the saddest part of me

A part of me that will never be mine

It's obvious

Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

Everyone sings it together. You hold your body tightly, but you can’t avoid moving your head with the melody. 

There's a few lines that I have wrote

In case of death, that's what I want, that's what I want

So don't be sad when I'll be gone

There's just one thing I hope you know, I loved you so

It’s funny to hear it. You’re almost sure those lines were written by you, but when Eddie sings it, he makes it his.

'Cause I don't even care about the time I've got left here

The only thing I know now is that I wanna spend it

With you, with you nobody else here

Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

Eddie’s voice gets heavier and stronger on the chorus. He’s singing from his heart, it’s more transparent than when you recorded. It’s like he’s in pain, real pain. Heart being torn apart, every single emotion being pulled out of him.

I'm sorry but I gotta go

If you'll ever miss me give this song another go

And I just keep on thinking how you made me feel better

And all the crazy little things that we did together

In the end, in the end, it doesn't matter

If tonight is gonna be the loneliest

It hits you harder than you expect. You’re sobbing, tears rolling down your face. Because this song is so personal it is strange to hear it in the voice of thousands of people. You can’t remember anymore which part it’s yours, which is Eddie’s and which lines you wrote together, eyes connecting and words matching.

As the guitar solo starts, you decide you can’t take it anymore. You hold your bag closer to your chest and walk towards the exit. That’s the limit.

You leave the venue almost immediately. You’re running, the tears making your vision blurry, people asking you if you’re alright. No, you’re not, but you don’t wanna say it out loud. You find the first vacancy cab and give the address to the bar where you're meeting your friends.

It’s not impossible to find Steve waving his arms, complaining about never beating Robin in any game. Robin is laughing, holding their beers and begging Steve to let this go. Nancy sees you first and says “Steve, stop, she’s here.”

“Y/N?” he spots the signs that you’ve been crying. “Come here, you need a drink and a few hugs,” Steve opens his arms, but you can’t move.

“Hey, let’s get your face washed, ok?” Nancy steps in, holding your hand and taking you out of your mind. “We’ll be right back, guys.”

You follow Nancy to the back of the bar, not paying attention to anyone around you. You let her guide you to the sink, get some paper towels and remove the make up stains. You do your best to not start crying again. Nancy whispers that everything is gonna be alright while doing it.

“Do you want me to watch over your drinks tonight? I’m not opposed to the idea of you drinking to get these out, but maybe you should be careful,” she says as she throws away the paper towels. 

“No, it’s fine, I’m not drinking today. I promised Steve I would drive his car back, so no alcohol for me.” You check yourself in the mirror, glad that Nancy still does a pretty good job as one of your best friends. “You can drink your weight in alcohol, tho, I’ll let you crash in my bed for the night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. The sofa is comfortable, so don’t worry.”

“Let’s go back, Steve ordered fries and mini burgers before you arrived,” and then Nancy is holding your hand and dragging you back to the table. 

Robin moves in the booth to give you space, and you sit across from Steve and Nancy. He looks for any signs that something is very wrong, and when there’s none — already used to your super emotional persona, and he doesn’t think it’s bad — he asks “Did he talk to you?”

“Steve!” Nancy slaps his arm.

“Ouch! No, but really, did he see you?”

“I’ve told you I was going on my own, staying far away from him. So, no, Steve, we didn’t talk,” you feel your lips getting bitter. Robin passes you the soda she got you. “Thanks, Robie.”

“And the song? Did he play it?”

“Yes, he did. And it was perfect,” you admit. “Can we just not talk about it? I'd rather die than think about Eddie Munson.”

“Wait, just one more question!” Robin has the devilish smile that sends a wave of fear through your bones. “Do you still love him?”

“Robin, not a good time,” Nancy rolls her eyes. 

“She clearly does, and I’m not letting her run away from this chance.”

“He promised me we would follow our separate paths, and I’m doing my part.” You still didn’t tell any of your friends that Eddie kissed you before you went back home that day. And you would die before sharing this detail.

“Such a talented songwriter, but so dumb. Y/N, really, that boy is in love with you. It’s been weeks since you wrote it, I can’t believe you’re not seeing each other,” Steve says.

“Well, we had a meeting to agree on my part of the deal, but that was it.” Yeah, you walked into the room with your manager, Eddie and his team, but it was a short meeting. He sat there and insisted that you would get the bigger cut of the revenue of the song — since they decided to release it as a special single —, and you just agreed. Papers were signed and that was it. He didn’t even talk directly to you.

“Stupid Y/N,” Robin sights.

“Can we just move on to something else? Please.”

“So, we finally decided on which apartment we’re renting,” Nancy says. 

“Please tell me it’s the one close to the beach, I would love to crash there after a long day,” you share your thoughts, even though everyone knows it already. Maybe you should break your lease and get this one. 

“Hm, no, actually we made an offer to rent the unit across yours!” Robin shares excitedly. “We should move in next month!”

“And since Johnathan only lives a few hours up north, we are finally gonna be back together!” Robin adds.

“No way!” Steve celebrates. “That’s amazing news! But how did you get it?”

“Oh, Nancy met the lady that owns the place a few days ago and used her persuasive skills to convince her to let us rent it,” Robin explains, dipping her fries in ketchup.

“That’s great! So happy to have you close again! We’re throwing a house welcome party! We can invite some of your LA friends so you could also meet them and create a circle for you as well,” you’re already making plans, finally getting a missing piece back to you.

“Yes! Dinners on me!“ Steve announces.

“I’ll bring the music! And some guys and ladies that might catch your attention,” you blink.

Steve waves to someone behind you, but you assume he’s just calling the waiter to get more beers. 

“It’s gonna be one hell of a party!” Robin cheers.

“Am I invited?” The voice you could recognize anywhere.

He steps closer to the table, wearing fresh clothes and his classic denim vest. Robin slips to the middle of the booth and you have no option but to make space for him.

“Eddie, you came!” Steve says and gives you a I’m sorry smile. “How was the concert?”

“It was great. Nancy! Robin! If I knew you were in town, I’d brought you all to the concert,” he takes the vacancy seat by your side and shots you a timid smile. “Did you get the VIP ticket I’ve sent you?”

“You had a VIP ticket and still went with the shitty tickets?” Robin is furious at you.

“So you were there?” Eddie smiles.

There are four pairs of eyes on you and none of it helps with your feelings. You face Eddie and push him out of the place he just took.

“Ouch! Is that a way to treat a rockstar?” He says, a lot of humor in his words.

“Shut up, Munson,” you stare at your friends, “don’t go anywhere without me, or I’m making your lives miserable.”

“Why should we leave?,” Steve makes himself more comfortable, and you know he can’t wait to watch you from the other side of the bar.

“Good luck finding another roommate, Steven.”

“I have two right here,” he points to Nancy and Robin.

You leave the table and Eddie follows you to the exterior area of the bar. He lights a cigarette and leans on the wall. 

“I was there,” you admit.

“I know, my manager saw you walk in,” Eddie spills like it’s no big deal. So he knew you were there even before your friends said it. “You should’ve accepted my gift, you know, it would’ve been a better experience.”

“I thought we were walking away from each other's lives.”

“Well, I guess I can’t do it. Because I wanted you there,” his eyes avoid yours like the plague. “But you still went there, on your own terms.”

“Guess I can’t do it as well,” you hug your body and walk until you are face to face with him, “and now we are here.”

“How do you wanna spend your time, darling? Answer truly.”

“You’re not using our song to start this conversation,” you laugh.

“Yes, I am. Because I know that I wanna spend my time with you.”

His words hit you right in the face, and you take a step back. You convinced yourself that the kiss didn’t mean anything to him, because he hadn’t tried to reach you. You were trying to keep your promise, but it was hard not to ignore it when the old flames reignited after the kiss.

“Eddie…”

“No, Y/N, no what ifs this time around. We are older, we have the means to make this work, we are not just two teenagers trying to hurt each other. I just need to know if you feel the same way.” He tosses the cigarette and takes one step closer.

“That’s unfair, Eddie.” The tears roll down your face and Eddie reaches to hold you closer. “The moment I walked into the studio I knew I never had gotten over you. Besides, it was never easy to understand you.” 

You expect him to say something. The game you’ve been playing for so long must end. And if it isn’t now, then it’s never. After all, maybe you don’t understand how he makes you feel this way. Faster heart, lighter thoughts, honesty all over your veins.

“You do understand me, darling. You made it very clear with your letters, your poems, your songs, your actions,” Eddie steps into your personal space, hands reaching for your face. “You were the only one that could do it.”

“Yet I still said those terrible things to you.”

“Who cares? I’ve said things I regret as well. But I don’t regret calling you, with my heart in my hands,” your foreheads touch and he lowers his voice. “I wasn't gonna let you slip through my fingers again.”

“Eddie…”

“That promise was stupid. Please.”

His eyes are dark and focused on you. You move your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks and finding out that all the things you love are still there. Eddie is here.

He closes his eyes and sighs, a breathy “I love you” escaping his lips.

“I love you, Eddie,” you confess. “And I will love you until my heart stops beating.”

“Hope this day never comes,” he opens his eyes. “Because I've been stupidly in love with you since the day we met.”

The confession is raw. You expect him to kiss you like that day in the studio, but when his lips press your cheeks, you get it. The whole world is watching the both of you: he’s on the stage, you’re in the studios. And he wants to take things slow. And you’re fine with that, as long as he never leaves you again.

“Let’s go back inside and annoy the shit out of those idiots,” you suggest, and he laughs.

“Just like old times?”

“Better than them.”

taglist: @lokiofasgard616 @munsonology @sidthedollface2

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x f!reader #rockstar!eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #songwriter!reader x eddie munson #songwriter!reader x rockstar!eddie munson

[writer-komaru]

*insert fanfair here*

Two new pieces of news for you all!

First, Im currently starting a new fic! Wooo! I haven’t wrote something for myself in a while, so I want to make this one as good and long as I can! ^^ it will be about a curtain someone~ that I feel would enjoy being “pushed around” a little bit. Heheh!~

And two! While rummaging through my old docs, I found all of old, dusty, prompts I was planning on writing for my either 50 or 100 follower celebration, so I’ll just post them here as a sorry for not being able to finish my old one and the other one I tried to do. I’m so sorry, I’m just really bad a completing big things like that </3 so this is a way for me to show that I’m sincerely sorry for not being about to do that.

Love you guys!!!~ enjoy!!

❀ Chiaki ❀ ~

❀ fav thing about you

You make her feel like she has the ability to not only become more, but just straight up be more than her ultimate, but also to become mroe social. She feels so happy around you, even if she wears her usual neutral expression. You make her realize how much she cares about others. I think that with your support, she would probably actually try to vioenteer herself as class president (or something like that, I forgot what it was called) while in school, and persuade her to make more friends again after the whole despair ordeal.

❀ a way they are adorable

Whenever she plays games next to you, it’s so adorable to see her fighting back against her body’s affords to fall asleep. Her eyes will be focused on the game in front of her, like a predator stalking their prey, and then they will fall heavier and heavier until they are almost closed, and they they snap back open and return to normal. If she can’t control it anymore, she will just flip against your shoulder and take a mini nap.

❀ fav way to spend time w/ u

Playing games, of course. But, spending time with you in a general sense is also her fav. Most of the time when you hang out together, you are usually playing games. But when it’s class time, she may or not put them away, depending on if Chisa is lenient or not. If so, you and her will spend your class time playing all sorts of games she had on her hand held. Also, you get to pick what you play. Since she has already played all of them, she doesn’t really have a preference. Just as long as it’s with you.

❀ way of showing affection

Quality time. Absolutely. She’s not very good with words, so not words of affection, plus spending time with you playing her games makes her feel connected to you even more. She may feel like she is only her talent, but there is something about doing her talent with you that makes it more… she doesn’t quite know how to describe it.

❀ nicknames

She doesn’t really use nicknames and would rather use your real name. And the way she says it is even better than a nickname, let me tell ya ;)

❀ How do they cuddle?

Starts with her leaning against you. She never really initiates anything head on and normally finds it easier to do things to hunt that she wants to cuddle (ie leaning against you, putting her legs on your lap, etc) when you both do start cuddling, she pretty much acts like an affection cat, nuzzling into you, humming gently, gentle breathing. It’s adorable tbh.

❀ Scenario

“Hey Chiaki, want to play this new game I got for us?”

You showed her the box and she nodded, a bright, excited expression on her still face.

“Heheh, I’ll start it up now.”

After a few hours both of you were very tired, limps sprawled out over each others’, barely able to keep up with the game. Chiaki yawned and shifted over to lay next to you. She wrapped her arms around your body, pressing her face into your shoulder. Your eyes widened at her display of affection.

“Do you… wanna go to bed now?”

She nodded sleepily, but didn’t move at all to get up. You chuckled. Maybe it would be okay to just take a nap here.

“Okay. Are you sure you don’t want to get ready for bed or anything?”

You waited for a response, but you were only met with soft breathing. She had already fallen asleep. You smiled at her, giving her a light kiss on the forehead.

“I hope you rest well, I know you really need it.”

❀ Nagito ❀ ~

❀ fav thing about you

As stated before [;)] everything. Anything and everything. Even the parts you apparently don’t like about yourself. The way you bring hope to others and himself, the way you constantly strive to improve your ultimate, the way you act so kind to scum like him. All so perfect in his eyes. Everything about you is perfect.

❀ a way they are adorable

His. Fucking. Expressions! If you literally just hold his hand, give him and short hug, or compliment him on something he did, he will break out into a wild bush and smile, trying to play it off as nothing, as if it was just an accident. But, for god's sake, you gave him a kiss, he would truly combust. He would look like he was on cloud nine, like he is under the influence or something, all just from you doing something so mundane. He is truly an enigma.

❀ fav way to spend time w/ u

Doesn’t have a preference. Anything you want to do is his favorite! He is very easygoing. But, if you truly want to know, it’s doing everyday things with you. For example, when you two are cleaning the classroom, or studying, or even showing him how to cook, he really loves it. When you aren’t looking he will gaze at you with a love sick expression. And it’s just his luck if you accidentally get a glimpse of his face when he does. He will turn bright red and apologize, probably degrading himself as well.

❀ way of showing affection

Acts of service, definitely, even if he slightly thinks that the things he does for you are just a waste of your time. He will make you lunch just in case you forgot it, help you with your homework, give you back something you dropped with walking in the halls of in class, or even fucking carry you to school if you want! Hehe! He would honestly do pretty much anything for you tbh.

❀ nicknames

Doesn’t think he deserves to use nicknames, or even your name for that matter. He doesn’t want to dirty it. But with persistence, time, and reassurance, he will come around eventually. He likes calling you his hope (because you literally are his hope. Without you, he feels like a shell of a person), and his Angel. Or, if he is feeling poetic, he will call you his Angel of hope or his divinity or just beacon of hope.

❀ How do they cuddle?

Here’s the thing. We all know he is a very clingy guy, but he never wants to actually initiate anything unless it is further into the relationship and knows he can open up around you. So it can go two ways. One, the relationship is fairly new and it’s been around maybe half a year. He would only use your last name to be as polite as possible. If you started callin g his nicknames of even just his first name, he would get so

❀ Scenario

On one lazy Saturday while you were off from school, you decided you wanted to surprise your boyfriend, Nagito. He was unsuspectingly cleaning around your house, which is something he just does without being told to do so, and you were leaking out of a room. He had his back facing you, peacefully dusting the tables. You snickered under your breath and slowly approached him. Once you were close enough, it was time to strike!

“Hiiiiyyyyaaa!!”

You wrapped your arms around his waist tightly, triggering Nagito freeze response. His head whipped around to face you, expecting it to be some sort of killer. But as soon as he saw it was his S/O, a blush and a dazed smile appeared on his face.

“Awww someone’s happy, hm? Just from me hugging you?”

His breathing was a bit uneven as he hummed in response.

“Y-you.. you’re so hopeful, even when I clearly don’t deserve it. I’m such an awful person-“

“Shut it with that. You absolutely deserve it, you deserve everything, you know. You’re so kind to me, so nice to others, heck, you even do my homework when I leave to use the bathroom! That doesn’t sound like a awful person to me.”

Is he thought you were giving him more hope then he could handle before, he definitely did now. He let out a couple soft but deranged laughs, his eyes swirling into spirals, face completely flushed. You realized if you said anymore, he would probably faint or something.

“Why not we both relax on the couch and watch a movie? Does that sound good?”

“Yes! Anything you want to do! I’ll do anything for you!”

(I wanna say he dropped on his knees and looked up at you with a depraved look but I don’t want this to be too long so-)

❀ Fuyuhiko ❀ ~

❀ fav thing about you

Your determination. He loves a person with as much determination or presence as himself, it makes him feel as though you are on the same level of him and not some person to be bossed around. He admires that. He doesn’t like someone just based on their looks. He’s not that kind of guy. So if you have a personally similar to himself, know how to hold your own, and are very strong willed, he will low key start to get a crush on you, against his greater judgment of course.

❀ a way they are adorable

Well, let’s let’s just say if you, I don’t know, totally sweep him off his feet, or even, for the sake of argument, look at him with a pricing look, he may or may not look away out of embarrassment. But yes, he will be a little annoyed he feels this way. A lot annoye,

actually. He will turn into a total tsundere of you play your cards right. You should really try it, it’s totally worth it. ;) And you better know he is literally the most adorable tsundere, some may say even cuter than Mr.Himbo.

❀ fav way to spend time w/ u

Dates at nice places. Since you are his partner, he wants to treat you the way he feels you should be treated. This means that even though you both are in High School, he will not hesitate to take you to fancy dinners on Friday nights, non-alcoholic drinks, of course. He might even give you some nice jewelers or clothes, too, depending on his mood and if he has warmed up to you yet.

❀ way of showing affection

Quality time and gifts. Since he is the leader of the yakuza, saying he is rich would be an understatement. He could get you anything you could ever want. (just like Nagito lol) So expect many, many dates and many, many gifts.

❀ nicknames

Doesn’t use them that much. He’ll call you baby, darling, sweetie.

❀ How do they cuddle?

Okay, okay, you might think I’m going to say he wants to be held, or he is the little spoon, or that kinda stuff, huh? Well, yes and no. Deep inside he knows he likes being the big spoon. Protecting you from the world makes him feel like even more of a strong man. (Lol) but, something else, maybe his heart, tells him that he does really like being held. Maybe it’s the fact he was brought up in a fairly unsafe environment. Even when he had Peko to protect him, he never truly felt safe. So when you swaddle him in your warmth, even though he doesn’t like being treated like a kid, he can’t deny how comfortable it is.

❀ Scenario

“Hey Fuyu! I have something for you!”

He gives you a confused look as he walked over to you.

“Here! I made it myself! I… wanted to give you something nice since you always spoil me.. I mean, it’s not as nice as-“

“Don’t say that kind of shit. I bet it’s beautiful since you were the one who made it.”

He takes the small box from your hands and opens it. His eyes widen as he takes out a small bracelet with black beads on it. A metal plate attached to it had the words ‘Fuyu’ engraved on it.

“You…. You made this for me?”

You nodded with a smile, anxiously anticipating what reaction he would have. You slightly gasp as you see tears prick at his eyes.

“Aww, are you crying?”

“N-no! I’m not fucking crying.. it’s just…”

He carefully puts the bracelet on, feeling his heart beat rapidly.

“You’re… you’re just too damn perfect sometimes… come here.”

❀ Akane ❀ ~

❀ fav thing about you

Your determination and drive!!! She admires people who have the ability to push themselves out of their comfort zones sometimes. Since she never had the perfect life growing up, but has overcome the life and troubles she used to have, she wants to see others achieve the same thing! So if you are down in the dumps, expect a very passionate Akane to be knocking at your door so you, her, and Nekomaru can train together. And it truly does pay off, you feel a lot stronger than before, But unfortunately… it has its downsides. She may try to wake you up at the crack of dawn so you can work out to be ready for the day. So if you aren’t a morning person… good luck

❀ a way they are adorable

Her enthusiasm is truly something to marvel at! The way she acts like an excited puppy when she sees something she likes is so adorable! Her eyes will light up with joy and if she had a tail, it would definitely be wagging.

❀ fav way to spend time w/ u

Training, of course! She wants to see you and herself improve, So expect many gym dates and work out sessions together. Watching you grow fills her with even more determination!!

❀ way of showing affection

Quality time, of course! Time spent with you, even when it’s not working out, is never a waste in her book.

❀ nicknames

Honey, babe, pumpkin. All that cute stuff :)

❀ How do they cuddle?

With lots and lots of passion! And movement. She can never sit still long enough to straigh up cuddle, she always ends up either carrying you around or bench pressing you. But when she is tired she will be a lot more clingy.

❀ Scenario

“Hey Akane, are you okay?”

Akane only murmured sleepily, rubbing her eyes as she both entered your house. She had just gotten back from a whole day spent training with Nekomaru and she was thoroughly exhausted. She wasn’t really hungry for once since she ate before coming back home, so all she felt was an insane amount of tiredness.

Before she could stop herself, she gently grabbed your hand and lead you to the couch, flopping down on top of you. She nuzzled her head in your neck, her body relaxing into yours.

“Ack! Akane?! Huh? Oh, are you tired?”

She slowly nodded in response.

“Want to sleep on the couch tonight or do you want to go to my bed?”

“…. Here…”

“Hehe, okay. Goodnight, sweetie. You did great today.”

Her face grew warmer at your words.

“Mmm… thank you, I love you so much.”

❀ Sonia ❀ ~

❀ fav thing about you

It’s a mixture of things, but overall, she just loves you for you! You’re a new experience, to put it bluntly, for her and as someone who has never really had any of those, she cherishes you so so so much! She loves how unique you are and she especially loves it if you are a bit of a daredevil. She was always sheltered as a kid and she always day dreamed about that kind of stuff!

❀ a way they are adorable

This is more on the funny side, but the way she says and does things. Like, for example, when she gushes about horror movies and true crime with a face of someone who got a puppy for Christmas or the way she will use the most bland and basic curse words and apologize profusely right after. It cracks you up! But, kinda like Akane, she gets this fluffy smile whenever she talks about something she likes. You can tell she is extremely happy when she gets to. So let her talk about her interests more often!!!!

❀ fav way to spend time w/ u

She loves to watch horror movies with you at midnight, eat lunch and study together, or even go on adventures to all kinds of different places! To be honest, touring the world is one of the things on her bucket list. Oh, btw she has a bucket list of things she wants to do before she becomes queen and can’t do it because she would be too busy.

❀ way of showing affection

Quality time! But, she likes to spend it most of the time in private. It’s not because she is shy or something (ahem Hinata-) but she just likes it more when it’s just you and no one else.

❀ nicknames

Darling, sweetheart, maybe even Cutie pie! Sometimes flower names as well!

❀ How do they cuddle?

Her cuddles are very soft and snuggly! She will let you sit on her lap and hold you close to her. Maybe she will even hum to you if you want her too!

❀ Scenario

“Her Sonia! Look at these pretty flowers!”

You ran over to a large bed of all kinds of flowers in all kinds of colors.

“Ooo!~ they’re gorgeous, aren’t they? They were planted here very recently by the gardeners.”

You bent over and held one of the flowers close to your nose, soaking in the scent.

“Mmmm~ they smell so good!”

As you stood back up and looked over at Sonia, you realized she was holding a red camellia in her hand.

“My mother always said flowers were like a special kind of language. Some mean loyalty, some mean purity, and some mean love.”

With a careful hand, she placed the flower in your hair.

“This one means love. I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter where life takes us, I will always love you.”

❀ Twogami ❀ ~

❀ fav thing about you

Tbh he can’t really pick a favorite. If he ever asks you, he will just say the last thing you were complaining about yourself. For example, if you said your face looked weird, he would say his favorite thing was the shape of your face, or if you said you said you were too clingy, he would say his favorite thing was your willingness to rely on others. But If you kept complaining, he would go on a whole long lecture about how you are literally the most perfect person to him. Don’t tempt him, he truly will.

❀ a way they are adorable

The way he tries to protect you, even in situations where he doesn’t have to. For example of you and him were walking to school together and some on the streets were giving you a weird look, he would move you so he was in between the both of you. And god forbid if they started following the two of you, he wouldn’t hesitate to use his ultimate to trick the person into running away as fast as they could.

❀ fav way to spend time w/ u

Just your everyday things are perfect for him. Eating lunch together, sitting next to you in class, spending time at a restaurant together.

❀ way of showing affection

Acts of service. He wants to make sure you are okay at all times, so if that means protecting you from others, making you some food, or just cuddling you, he would do it all.

❀ nicknames

Doesn’t use them much, he normally uses names, but sometimes if you are lucky he will call you Dear.

❀ How do they cuddle?

Warmly! He is very comfortable when it comes to hugs and snuggling. Though, it does make him a tad nervous, but he will never admit it. As long as you are content, he is as well.

❀ Scenario

(I can’t think of anything I’m sorry T T just know he loves you a lot! He is very devoted to you! Maybe he will even tell you about his ultimate… maybe!)

❀ Mahiru ❀ ~

❀ fav thing about you

Your willingness to stand up for yourself! She really admires that in people. She will absolutely fall in love if she ever sees you standing up for others. Something about that just makes her heart flutter! She will compliment you with a smile as she approaches you.

❀ a way they are adorable

The way she pouts sometimes. Whenever she finishes an argument with someone, her face is always stuck in a pout. But please, don’t tease her for it or else she won’t hesitate to have an argument with you as well. Just try and cheer her up, she will thank you after.

❀ fav way to spend time w/ u

Making memories! All kinds of memories! A reason she takes pictures of others is so you all can have something to cherish, something that doesn’t fade like a memory. So if you say you want to do all kinds of things with her for the purpose of making memories, she would be overjoyed!!

❀ way of showing affection

Quality time! As said before, she greatly values making memories with others. But also… something cute she does is sometimes in the morning when you sit down at your desk, you might just see a picture of you and Mahiru spending time together after school the previous day. It’s honestly really sweet. <3

❀ nicknames

Doesn’t really use them that much since it makes her a tad shy, but she’ll call you sweetie or baby.

❀ How do they cuddle?

Her cuddles are filled with love for you and only you! She hopes that every time she gives you a hug you can feel just as happy as you make her!

❀ Scenario

“Ah, I’m so glad we finally have some time to relax after class!”

“Yeah, I agree. Class can really stretch on for longer than it needs to thanks to… everyone. Ugh, I mean they are great friends, but sometimes they get needlessly crazy.”

As you and Mahiru chatted while sitting next to the daytime, you felt droplets of water on your legs and shoulders. At first, you thought it was just the water from the fountain, but it gradually started to get heavier.

“Ah, I think it’s starting to rain! Should we go inside?”

“Yeah, we shouldn’t be out here for too long or we will catch a cold.”

Just as the two of you were beginning to walk back inside, something caught your eye. You turned around to see a huge rainbow stretching over the sky. You put a hand on Mahiru's shoulder to stop her.

“Huh? Something wrong?”

“Look! It’s a rainbow! It’s so beautiful!”

She turned around to see the same sight you were. Her eyes lit up, mind reeling with the possibilities of pictures.

“Hey, can you pose in front of it?”

“Heheh… what happened to going inside?”

“Come on, please? Eheh! It will be really pretty!”

“Okay, if you want me to!”

#danganronpa chiaki #chiaki x reader #chiaki nanami x reader #chiaki nanami #nagito x you #nagito komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #fuyuhiko kuzuryu x reader #fuyuhiko x reader #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #nagito komaeda #akane owari #akane x reader #akane owari x reader #sonia nevermind #sonia x reader #sonia nevermind x reader #twogami x reader #danganronpa #mahiru x reader

[blossom-hwa]

happy 5 years! may i request something sweet with jibeom? like maybe a baker or florist au !!

hey anon!! thanks for the request, I hope you enjoy what I've written for it <3

5 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/TXT/Golden Child/Ateez/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

REQUESTS OPEN!!

~

Title: The Earth Laughs in Flowers

Pairing: Jibeom x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: n/a

~

Some days, Jibeom finds himself unable to smile. 

It isn’t most days, thankfully - he’s got a family that cares for him, friends who find it in themselves to annoy him every day, a cat who likes to wind her way around his legs to the point of tripping him whenever he comes home. He can usually find a reason to smile, even if it’s very small. 

But life is annoying, and life is hard. There are days where the gray cloud hanging over him only seems to grow darker and heavier no matter what - his boss being upset at him for something he can’t control, rain pouring overhead on the one day he forgot to bring his umbrella. When that happens, it’s too hard to smile, and Jibeom doesn’t even want to try. 

On one of these dark days, he finds himself inside a little florist a street away from his office, one that he always passes by but has never really found a reason to actually explore. Today, though, the rain is pouring too hard for him to make it the next street to his bus stop, so he finds himself ducking into the flower shop as a short respite from the downpour. 

A little bell tinkles as he bursts into the shop, hair and clothes damp from his sprint through the streets. He’s so busy digging through his bag, trying to make sure his laptop didn’t get wet when the rain suddenly picked up, that at first he doesn’t notice you approaching him. 

“Hello!”

Jibeom jumps, eyes snapping up to take you in. You’re smiling brightly as though the rain outside doesn’t bother you at all, dressed in a green apron stained with bits of dirt and flowers. 

“Hello,” he replies cautiously, slinging his bag back over his back. At the last minute he remembers you’re a stranger, not someone he should easily show his annoyance to, so he tries to school his features into a more neutral expression than he’d been showing before. 

You don't seem to notice, the smile on your face still as sweet and bright as when he first saw you. “Welcome to my little garden,” you say warmly, gesturing to the expanse of flowers and greenery all around you. “Is there something you were looking for? Or was it just the downpour?”

Jibeom reddens against his will. “Just... just the downpour,” he mumbles. “Sorry about that, I can leave -”

“Oh no, it’s fine!.” You laugh a little. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you need until we close. The rain’s pouring really hard, wouldn’t want you to get sick or anything.”

Jibeom isn’t sure why, but for some reason, tears suddenly begin welling in his eyes. It takes all of his effort to hold them back. “Thanks,” he croaks out, trying to swallow the little lump growing in his throat. “I appreciate it.”

"No problem,” you reply, smiling softly. “If I may ask... you look pretty tired. Had a long day?”

Normally when strangers talk to him, Jibeom closes himself up, mostly just does the bare minimum to seem polite and tries to shut down the conversation as soon as he can. But looking at you now, Jibeom doesn’t feel the walls of his defenses beginning to rise. Instead, he feels them starting to fall. 

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “It’s... it’s been a lot.”

“I see.” You nod slightly, lips pressed together in sympathy. “Give me one moment.”

Jibeom watches you walk around the shop, plucking a few flowers of various colors from their places on shelves and in buckets on the floor. At one of the tables, you make quick work of them, snipping stems and trimming leaves until you’ve created a small, pretty bouquet. “Here,” you finally say, extending the flowers to him when you’ve finished. “These are for you.”

He blinks once, twice, looking between you and the flowers. “Sorry, I - what?”

“They’re on the house,” you clarify. “For you.”

Jibeom blinks again. “I - why?”

“The earth laughs in flowers,” you say, smiling as you press the small bouquet into his hands. “I thought that perhaps, if you see the way it laughs, it will help you smile a little too.”

Dumbly, Jibeom closes his fingers around the green stems. The soft, sweet scent of the flowers fills his nose - he recognizes a couple of roses and something that looks like a lily amidst more blooms whose name he doesn’t know. “Thank you,” he whispers, fighting the urge to cry.

“You’re welcome,” you reply, and Jibeom can almost feel the warmth of your voice wrapping around him like a blanket shielding him against the cold outside. “Oh - it looks like the rain stopped!”

Sure enough, it has stopped, only a thin drizzle painting the windows of your shop. Jibeom thanks you again, only slightly less choked this time, then heads out again to catch his bus.

Once he reaches home, Jibeom looks at the flowers still clutched between his fingers. Vaguely he thinks he should find a vase or something similar to put them in, but for now he just stares at them. Bright pink, a sprig of warm yellow, deep blue and pale purple stare back at him, interspersed with leafy greenery. Colorful, warm.

As Jibeom carefully arranges them in a tall glass of water, he realizes the weight of his day no longer feels as heavy as it once was. 

He returns to your shop the next day, the sky bright blue with a sun shining bright against the clouds. You’re helping a customer when he arrives, but when you’re finished you turn to him, eyes bright and smile as wide as he remembered. 

“Hi!” you exclaim, walking up to him. “How are you?”

Jibeom smiles. “Feeling better,” he replies honestly. “I wanted to thank you again for the flowers. They were beautiful.”

You duck your head in acknowledgement. “Thank you,” you say sweetly. “I’m glad you liked them.”

“I also -” He coughs a little, swallowing down the embarrassment threatening to crawl up his cheeks. “I don’t think I got your name last time.”

“Oh!” For a moment, you look as flustered as he feels. It’s quite endearing, Jibeom thinks as his smile grows wider. “I’m so sorry. My name is Y/N.” You cock your head. “If I may, what’s yours?”

“I’m Jibeom,” he replies. “It’s nice to meet you.”

A conversation arises from there, pleasant and warm and full of lovely, bright laughter. As you smile, as you laugh, Jibeom remembers your words from yesterday, and - 

It’s true, he thinks, watching the way sunlight streams onto your face, the way you seem to glow under the golden hour with the brightness of your smile. It’s true what you said, that the earth laughs in flowers. 

Because looking at you now, laughing in the sunlight, Jibeom can see the flowers ever-blooming in your smile.

#golden child #golcha #jibeom #kim jibeom #golden child jibeom #golden child jibeom scenarios #golden child scenarios #golden child imagines #golden child oneshots #golcha scenarios #golden child x reader #golcha x reader #kim jibeom x reader #jibeom x reader #golden child jibeom x reader #fluff #slice of life!au #drabble #the earth laughs in flowers #5 year anniversary drabble game #lina answers #anon #blossom-hwa

[aelaer]

For the writing meme, since sometimes looking at WIPs can trigger fresh energy:

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

Hello old friend! Hope winter's treating you well and that Bucky is serving as a good muse.

Here is one of my WIP snippets that, at my current rate of writing, is never going to see the light of day, so I may as well post it here. (That said, my health is getting better day by day so I'm hoping to get back to writing and art in January - this WIP is just at the very bottom of the list.)

It's basically MCU!Stephen Strange dreaming himself into the head of What If!Stephen (taking the "we dream into our multiversal selves at times" concept from the second DS movie). I have no idea how it'd end, which is why I'm not sure I'll ever finish it. Also the description I have in the second-to-last paragraph at the moment is roooough so forgive first draftness. Maybe I'll figure it out. Another day :P

Where in the vast multiverse was he? 

Then something wholly new and unexpected happened: his other self recognized that he was not alone.

He felt his other's body stiffen and what he could see of his other's mind—less than usual—said within their shared head, Who's there? 

Stephen didn't answer; he wasn't sure what the best way to proceed was in such a situation. That didn't stop his multiversal self from speaking again, this time aloud. "Watcher? Is that you?"

He didn't know who this Watcher was, but at the growing suspicion from his counterpart's mind, Stephen knew that his initial idea to remain silent wouldn't work. He kept himself succinct. I'm another Stephen Strange. Currently dreaming. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Stephen felt his other's body stiffen as he made himself known, then the small part of the mind that he could see was closed off completely and the feeling of sensation was gone. It was odd, and certainly not something he believed he had ever seen in any book he had read. This other version of himself was exceptionally skilled, that much was evident. The fact that he had detected his presence at all suggested he was perhaps the most powerful version of himself that Stephen had yet to encounter.

He could no longer feel his host body or hear even the most shallow of his thoughts, but Stephen could hear his spoken voice just fine. "I remember coming across that theory," he muttered. "I paid little mind to it at the time." There was a pause. "Let's see if this works."

Before Stephen could ask what "this" was, he felt a sensation similar to the second between moments as his spirit disconnected with his physical form to enter the astral plane. It was difficult to describe to anyone who had never felt it, but if he had to, he would say it was what he imagined being caught between two gusts of heavy wind, the heavier wind pressing you down into your skin, but the upward wind catching you just right to push against the downward force and allowing you to soar against the pressure.

Yeah, he didn't exactly try to describe it all that often. But it was a similar feeling that happened here. Someone tell me how the fark I should end this silliness. :P It'd be post MoM so he'd just meet another Strange who destroyed a universe, but I have no idea how it should end. I like my one-shots to be a contained scene/story with proper endings and for it not to feel like an incomplete story.

#my writing #ask #answered #cairistiona #stephen strange #strange supreme

[enjolras-out]

10, 26, and 36, please!

10. What is the line you’re proudest of from [Fanfic Name]? 

You didn’t specify which story, so I’m assuming you mean across all of them? Which is a big question haha but the one that sprang to mind is:

“The weapon felt heavy in his hand, heavier than it ever had, even the first time he’d drawn it, and he’d been so small then”

from Bad Blood just because it says a lot by saying a little. Hyrule is mid-fight, bleeding out and still refusing to give up. He’s looking back on his younger self with compassion, as someone he wishes he could have protected. Also he feels like he’s come full circle, since defeating Ganon aged 10 with a sword that was (presumably, since it’s apparently the right size for a 16/17 year old) way too big for him - and now he’s too weak and injured to lift it and defend himself to stop Ganon coming back. This line got a lot of poking before I published the chapter!

26. Are titles for your stories easy to come up with? 

NO. I am horrible at coming up with titles. The last fic I posted I agonized over the title for 20 minutes and then went in and changed it. Which must have been pretty confusing to people reading it and I am genuinely sorry about that. Half the time I just use song lyrics.

36. What fanfic of yours has the symbolism you’re proudest of? 

The lightning in Washed Away. Basically Legend is trapped in a dream (again lol) and every time Hyrule breaches the dream world to come and find him it’s signalled by a bolt of lightning, even in a clear blue sky. Legend still has a physical fear response to the lightning, without knowing why. His body remembers, his mind doesn’t. So the possibility of waking up, of coming back to reality, is suggested via lightning, and it scares him, because it’s a memory of extreme pain (the pain of just living) that he doesn’t have any context for. All of this meaning: he has to face the pain of reality in order to escape (and rediscover the possibilities for adventure, love, friendship, happiness that are also part of reality)

This worked because the lightning also symbolizes Hyrule’s magical powers and his determination to give everything to save Legend. Thunder is SUCH an awesome spell but because it takes so much magic/energy it’s kept as a last resort in a lot of fics (mine included). It’s such an 11th hour, swan-song, going out in a blaze of glory kind of spell. So even though Hyrule doesn’t actually use Thunder in this story I wanted the lightning to reference it to symbolize just how far he was prepared to go. While at the same time foreshadowing how what Hyrule has to do is going to hurt Legend, but in a way that’s necessary to save his life.

Idk usually when I write strong symbols it’s much too clumsy and I’m wary of over-writing these things. But this one managed to stay reasonably subtle so I like how it worked out!

These asks were super interesting! Thank you so much!!

Asks from here!

#i'm sorry this is long! but you asked an english lit postgrad about symbolism #i officially can't help it #ask game

[myaoiboy]

heyy sorry dunno if ur ok with ppl asking for advice, but ive been on the twitter mgs fandom for a little while (mostly as a watcher rather than participating other than liking, rting and occasionally commenting or posting some art) and after a while i realized (a bit too late) that quite a few people that i interacted with are aggressively anti and i dont know how to pull away from them now.

Some were mutuals, i stopped following most of them but they still follow me and im not sure if i should just ignore it or whatever. My main account is very clean when it comes to pro/anti discussion and NSFW in general, altho i do like/rt/discuss a lot of anime art and media that has some questionable content in it (like the monogatari series for example)

Anyway, im just a bit scared they might see these "cracks" and it gets to a point of agression/exclusion/doxxing etc and im a bit terrified of that. Sorry if this sounds dumb, but could i ask you what you experience with the mgs fandom is like on twitter? Have you ever been in a similar situation?

It's totally cool to ask for advice! I'm not sure how much help I'll be though.

I have a twitter that's mostly MGS-focused, but I've been building up defenses against the anti movement for a long time before that. I used to be mutuals with someone who was a really notorious asshole twitter anti, actually. I broke that when they started publicly slandering me, but before they could actually dox me, and they still followed me on side accounts for a couple years after that. I got very careful about vetting who I regularly interact with after that.

I got lucky dropping into MGS fandom, I've found a bunch of people who enjoy freaky stuff as much as I do. But I also had one of those friends get doxxed a while back over ship discourse that was spun as something much worse.

Personally, if I see a callout post and it looks fishy (only includes accusations of fic or art, etc), I will a lot of times block everyone that's retweeted or liked it. It's made me sad a couple of times to break mutuals, but I know I'm saving myself the pain later of potentially seeing them fall for it with me. This, when my friend got doxxed, ended up causing me to block like half of the twitter MGS fandom ngl.

Honestly, my secret to not accidentally making full on anti friends is that when I get into a new fandom, I look up their discourse and who antis say shouldn't be shipped together. Then I look and see who makes art/fic of those ships. If I don't like those ships specifically, I find people who ship both that and whatever I like. Usually I end up liking one or more of them anyways (solimiller...). Or I'll go through that fandom's fics with warnings on them and check out those authors' other works.

That's how I keep accidentally meeting a lot of people in fandom, it turns out. I read a fic, I look at the author's other works or their profile, it has a social media handle, or a discord link, or whatever else, next thing I know I'm talking to them and 5 more people they recommended about whatever freaky kink I found of theirs.

I do actually have a (mostly nsfw) discord link that I would share here, but given some of the weird interactions I've gotten tonight I'm gonna wait a couple days before I post it publicly. It's fandom neutral technically but a lot of us like our war boys (mgs/cod mostly). But uhhh if anybody sees this and wants in feel free to dm me/send an off-anon ask and I'll slip ya a link real quiet.

I warn people some of the heavier content that I regularly post as well, even though I don't explicitly use any discourse labels, but honestly the biggest thing is just pulling your interactions like weeds. People on the internet are, mostly, strangers. You don't like someone's vibes? You can block 'em. You see them being a dick to someone else and don't wanna risk them doing the same to you ? Definitely block. Someone makes posts you don't like and it keeps filling up the tags you frequent? You can block that!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Favorite Dragon Prince Quotes

...Yes, this is a thinly veiled excuse to talk more about this series, which my brain is refusing to shut up about lately. It's also a thinly-veiled excuse to try some different book photo things. And mess around with filters and stuff, because somehow I washed the green out of the background and managed to make the photographic covers look...well, The Dragon Prince's Betrayal full-on looks like it was done with oil pastels, so go me. I have ZERO CLUE how I did that.

What we're ACTUALLY doing with this post though is picking my favorite quotes from each book. I do not promise no spoilers, so beware and enjoy!

"Even if I was willing to marry you after one hot make-out session in a pool, you should know..." she paused, her hazel gaze skidding away from his and Toren could sense her fear. "It doesn't matter." "It kind of does," Carina said, looking up through her eyelashes at him. "Since Alaska undoubtedly has an extradition agreement with the United States and I'm pretty sure I'm wanted for murder."

-- pp. 60-61, The Dragon Prince of Alaska

The sound of shattering glass was her cue, and at that moment, she tightened her grip on the leash in her hand, yanking down as hard as she could. "Bad dog!" she shouted, and a black dragon dropped out of the sky onto them.

-- p. 224, The Dragon Prince of Alaska

"What's your plan of attack?" "I pick her up at six," Rian said. "I'll take her to the nicest Indian restaurant in the area." "Taxi? Limo? A bicycle built for two?" Rian hadn't thought that far ahead. "Ah, a limo?" "Got a company lined up? It's Friday, they might not have last-minute availability. You got a good suit to wear?" "I'm wearing my uniform." "Oh, that's subtle," Tray scoffed. [...] Do you have a hotel lined up? Where do you plan to take her afterwards?" "I..." Rian hadn't even considered what would happen next. "This is unlike you little brother," Tray teased. "Aren't you usually the one who is scheduled to the minute? I suppose you called the credit card company to let them know you'd be making purchases in Florida so they don't block you for fraud when you try to pay for your date?" "I...ah..." Rian patted his pockets in sudden alarm. "Did you at least bring a copy of your diplomatic passport?" Tray sighed. Rian gave a groan. "No passport?" Tray guessed. "I forgot my wallet." Tray really did drop his phone then; Rian could hear him chortling as he fumbled for it."

-- p. 30, The Dragon Prince's Librarian

"Toren said that he and Carina felt...what they were going to feel, before it really grew naturally between them," Rian said hesitantly. "And each other, that they felt each other. What the other one was feeling. For a little while, anyway. Spells fade." Tania winced. "I'm sorry for that, then," she said bitterly. "But I'm glad it's only for a little while. Does it go away quickly?" It took Rian a moment to understand what she meant. "I'm not sorry. This..." he gestured at her can, and the tidy row of prescription bottles on the counter, "it's part of who you are. I wish I could take it from you, but I'm not sorry to know what it's like." Tania's eyes were hollow, but tearless. "How much of it do you...get?" Rian considered. "I feel like I'm sitting on something desperately uncomfortable, not sharp pain, just dull, heavy, and heavier still because it feels so inevitable."

-- p. 43-44, The Dragon Prince's Librarian

"Those aren't the receipts for your cane," Rian said leadingly. Tania looked closer at the pages. "Five hundred hand-carved canes?" "They aren't as fancy as yours," Rian said swiftly. "That's one-of-a-kind. But you said that no one should have to make do with the ugly ones insurance covers. This won't be enough for everyone of course, but the workshop said they couldn't make more than that in three months, so we're starting here. They'll be distributed to all the clinics and village health centers." Tania made herself close her mouth as soon as she realized that it was hanging open, and she flipped to the next receipt, only to find herself opening it again in astonishment. "This is so much!" "You shouldn't have to be royalty to get decent medical care," Rian told her firmly, and Tania recognized her own words. "This ought to go a little ways and help a few people, at least. I've hired an advisor to make sure that it goes to the people who need it, and that the application process isn't a nightmare and there aren't any weird tax loopholes..."

-- p. 214, The Dragon Prince's Librarian

"I'm sure my fiancé will greatly appreciate our safe return," Leinani said gently. [...] Tray didn't even attempt politeness. "And by appreciate, her highness means that you are about to face a fuckton of angry dragons."

-- p. 61, The Dragon Prince's Bride

"We don't want you, highness," Scoff sneered. "Amara wants the princess." Tray jerked as if they'd shot him. "No, no, she promised! I have my dragon again, you can take me, you don't get to do this to her."

-- p. 182, The Dragon Prince's Bride

"You really should try to get some sleep," he said, swinging his legs off the bed. "It's hard. What you just went through. I know." He yawned and gave an exaggerated stretch. And the couch is calling me. I waited up all night, you know. That whole platonic worried roommate thing."

-- p. 191, The Dragon Prince's Bride

They had always been like water and oil, Kenth resisting his older brother's imperious direction and acting more reckless than necessary just to needle him. It had been little more than sibling rivalry at first, but the death of their mother had changed their relationship to active antipathy. Fask blamed Kenth for not being there to save her. Kenth didn't actually blame himself any less, but it poisoned any warmth that had remained between them. And then Dana...

-- pp. 33-34, The Dragon Prince's Secret

Kenth reached out and hung up. "Gig's up," he said firmly. He turned to Mackenzie. "Stay here, stay safe. We're doing this my way now." Allowing no further argument, he shifted and surged up into the sky, flying straight for the hotel and his daughter. He heard Toren protest behind him, "This is not a plan! This is the opposite of a plan! What are you doing?!"

-- p. 54, The Dragon Prince's Secret

What did you say to someone who was dying? Beg him to fight? Apologize for dragging him into this mess in the first place? Confess her feelings? She couldn't untangle the emotions in her heart, let alone on her tongue. But she could thank him, and make sure that he knew how grateful she was.

-- p. 105, The Dragon Prince's Secret

"You gave me the sky," she said, tearfully grateful and glad. "It was always yours," Kenth told her. "And no one can take it from you now."

-- p. 242, The Dragon Prince's Secret

"Oh that's glorious," she said. "Is it magic?" "No, but this is..." Raval dragged his fingers over a well-worn passage. "Pause," he said. All of the water stopped, every particle suspended in midair, and Katy sucked in her breath. Every drop was a motionless jewel, and they were standing in a chamber of glistening enchantment. It was beautiful, which had not been part of Raval's original purpose, but he was glad of it now, because Katy loved it so much. "I've never seen anything like it," she gasped. "I'm in a chandelier!" She swept a hand through the hanging drops, dragging them along behind her in a trail of sparkling lights.

-- pp. 77-78, The Dragon Prince's Magic

"You are magic," she said in awe. Then she scrutinized him. "Why does this make you feel guilty?" "It's frivolous," Raval said frankly. "It serves no one but me. It was months of work that I did only for myself. It can't be duplicated and I don't even want anyone in my bathroom to enjoy it." He quickly added, "Except for you." "You're allowed to have projects for yourself," Katy said kindly. Raval could not feel a single hint of disappointment in her, so she must understand. "It was a lot of work. I ought to focus that kind of effort on something that betters humanity or saves lives or fixes realistic problems." There was a softness to Katy's mind that made Raval recognize all the prickles of his own. "I love you," she said. "I love you to the very bottom of your giant heart."

-- p. 78, The Dragon Prince's Magic

Knowing academically about magic was a lot different from suddenly being transported somewhere unknown in a fiery magical explosion, so Katy thought it was probably understandable that she screamed and clutched at Lancelot.

-- p. 97, The Dragon Prince's Magic

A baby. Katy's baby. His baby. A baby they made.

-- p. 140, The Dragon Prince's Magic

"You are missing ussssss," a disembodied voiced boomed through the stone walls, and then, suddenly, there was a ring of spirits around the table in the center of the cavern. They looked, at a glance, mostly human, but each of them was wreathed in an aspect of their element. A man seemed made of stone, his skin moving like little pebble landslides as he walked. A woman had trees for hair and leaves over her body like feathers. One man seemed to be smoldering, shrouded in smoke, and another was actively wearing flames. And there was Angel, standing soaking wet like she'd just come up out of the water, her hair wild around her.

-- p. 291, The Dragon Prince's Betrayal

The Alaskan prince collapsed onto Angel, who gave a gargle of pain and triumph. Violet flames wreathed them both and died away, leaving only a tangle of charred flesh and a puddle that might have been water...or blood.

-- p. 297, The Dragon Prince's Betrayal

"What was the bet that had Rian wandering naked around the castle? If we're going to get married, you can't keep a secret that huge from me." Alasie's eyes danced, even though her lips were as serene as ever. "That was the bet," she revealed. Drayger stated at her, waiting for the sentence to make sense. When it didn't, he persisted. "What was the bet? How was that the bet? I don't get it." "It wasn't Rian wandering the castle in the nude," Alasie said. "It was Tray. The bet was he could mimic his twin so successfully that even if he spent a week completely stark naked he could still fool everyone." Drayger stared. "And he did."

-- pp. 323-324, The Dragon Prince's Betrayal

Y'all...these books might be silly, fluffy shifter romances, but I literally cannot explain how they ended up living rent-free in my head. Hopefully some of these quotes explain it a bit.

Barring that, you might just have to read the books to figure it out.

#royal dragons #dragon prince of alaska #dragon prince #shifters #shifter romance #dragon shifter #elva birch #book quotations #book quotes #books and reading #books and novels #books #book recommendations

[loiswolf]

Day 5 May 20 Letterkenny- Ballarena 92kms

Day 5 May 20 Letterkenny- Bellarena 92kms

I had forgotten that the blog won’t load properly if there are too many photos and the internet is sketchy. It will probably happen again today and definitely tomorrow sorry. I can try to reload it the next day when I’m in a big town.

This morning I managed to leave a little before 8am. First of all I had to cycle the 11kms back into Letterkenny. This involved my biggest hill for today, but hills in the morning are no-where near as bad as afternoon hills. It was raining on and off all day so I won’t bore you the weather reports…except to mention that I even dragged out the waterproof pants today. I put them on in a bus shelter where a young man had to watch me struggle to get my enormous bike shoe clad feet through the lining and elastic. I had to get him to move his bag from the seat so I could perform this difficult operation sitting down. Then when I pulled them up they were too short and looked like clown pants. Oh well, they kept me dry and I left them on all day because taking them off was too much trouble. The spray jacket also stayed on all day but mainly because it keeps out the cold wind.

Once I reached Letterkenny I had a couple of stops to make. First I sat outside KFC and used their wifi to fix up the photos on yesterday’s blog.

Next I rolled up the road to Lidl to buy a couple of things ( healthy ) and attempt to reduce any coinage I had because I would be using a different currency in Northern Ireland. Money changes won’t take coins.

Soon I was cycling up the road ( actually I always use the cycle/footpaths here to make sure I stay out of the way of the cars) There was a very good cycle path all the way from Letterkenny out to my accommodation yesterday and I mostly used it both ways. ( not on the really fast downhill sections because I don’t want to kill any unsuspecting pedestrians)

So I passed the road I came in on yesterday from Donegal and continued until I reached the N13 where I turned off. There was a long gentle climb up to a lookout where there was another coffee van.

I wasn’t in need of coffee so I just took a couple of photos. There were too many people there anyway. The cycling was very pleasant with lovely views all the way and I happily rode on to Newtown Cunningham. I hadn’t planned to stop there but a sign for Tina’s Tea Rooms tempted me to turn off. The rain was suddenly heavier so it seemed like a good idea.

It was a good idea! I had a coffee and a chocolate thing

and talked to Tina for ages. People here are so interesting! Tina has just finished her final exams for her medical degree, works as a paramedic, and is involved in the running of several cafes. She also has 3 children and a husband who is away a lot of the time.

I love meeting these people. It’s why I travel like this. I’m not interested in tourist attractions or cities. I just enjoy riding through the countryside and meeting the locals. As usual they don’t seem to have a very good concept of what qualifies as hilly. Tina suggested I continue on the small road which ran through the town as it was a more direct way to Derry. I was a bit sceptical because these direct roads are always hilly. She assured me it was flat….it wasn’t!

It didn’t really matter. It was a nice road and had a handy bus shelter where I was able to put on some plastic pants. 😁

Next stop was Derry ( or Londonderry) it seems to have 2 names. When I arrived at Dublin airport last week I didn’t consider the fact that I would only need Euros for less than a week. I needed to find a bank to exchange my excess Euros. Eventually I came to a bank, locked up Shirley and went in. No, apparently banks don’t do foreign exchange. I commented that a few kilometres down the road was not really foreign but that didn’t help much. The lovely man directed me to a supermarket some distance up the road which had a post office at the back of the shop, which would give me a really bad exchange rate. He was right, it did.

At least I had some pounds now to buy coffee with and I wasn’t stuck with euros any more.

I was now cycling the A2. It was a very busy road so I stuck to the paths which have a myriad of hazards but were probably safer than the road. For a while I rode an empty service road which ran parallel. It was blissful! Very quiet with a smooth strip that ran down the centre, with just enough rain to make it very slick riding. Unfortunately it didn’t last and I was back to dodging rubble, side streets, ridges and ledges and every other cycling hazard imaginable.

There was another lookout to take a photo at

then suddenly I spotted a sign for a cafe just off the road down in a little shopping area. Yep, hungry again so I went in and enjoyed a cream cookie ( it was a cream bun, don’t know why they would call it a cookie ).

I was particularly appreciative of the knife which meant I could spread some of the cream onto every delicious mouthful.

Another 10kms to ride before turning off the A2 and ride  a very beautiful little road out towards the coast.  The village I am staying at is where The Game of Thrones is filmed. I followed my google maps right out of town, but could not find my accommodation. I stopped at a house out there where a very tall gentleman directed me all the way back to the village where my Airbnb is. I should have taken a photo out there because the view is amazing. I might go back tomorrow morning and get one so you can see what I mean.

After quite a few extra kilometres I finally found my accommodation. It’s pretty average….maybe tomorrow’s will be better.

[theliterateape]

The Consequence of Bad Choices

by Don Hall

Coupe had always been a bit 'girl crazy' as his mother called it. 

Having been divorced twice and escaped a less-than-stellar four-year relationship with a woman who told him on their last night "It's not that I don't like you. I like you. I just don't respect you." he had decided that best path forward was to forego any and all women in his future.

He sat in the pizza place two blocks from the venue and picked at his Chicken Parmesan. He'd been celibate by choice for eight months after a post-breakup banquet of tawdry alleyway sex and one-night stands. 

What he didn't know was that in less than five hours he'd meet the love of his life. He'd notice her but not quite until she piped up and told him to ‘Clam up, Chatty Cathy’ and then lightning would strike and he would be lost. 

The chance encounter would lead to a whirlwind courtship, a surprising proposal after a few dates, and a courthouse wedding usually reserved for the unexpectedly pregnant. It would be the basis of the fairy tale romance he always thought would happen and which he would tell any and everyone willing to listen. It would be like a romantic comedy of which he was the co-star.

At this moment, Coupe reflected on the differences between being alone (as he was with his rubbery meal) and lonely. He understood the concept of loneliness but couldn't pinpoint any time in his nearly five decades that he'd experienced it. 

He placed his fork on the plate. He wasn't hungry. He had a show to do and the food wasn't great. He put his used napkin over the uneaten pile of breading and burnt cheese to indicate to the bus boy he was finished, paid his bill, and headed over.

He crossed the street and immediately heard the horn section opening of Stevie Wonder's Sir Duke. Right behind him as if someone was holding an eighties Boom Box three inches from his head. He spun around and saw... himself? With a baseball bat? The bat swung wide, clocked him on the side of the head and he blacked out.

He was tied up. Arms, hands, legs, and feet. Looking around, he could tell he was in some sort of basement.

"You're awake?" a voice spoke.

"Yeah. What is this? Why'd you hit me with a baseball bat?"

"You have a notoriously hard head. I couldn't guarantee punching you would knock you out. Sorry about that."

Coupe squinted in the low light. "Who the fuck are you? You look a lot like me but fucking old. Why am I here? And what was the music for just before you hit me?"

"Music? You heard it, too?"

"Of course I fucking heard it. The opening brass riffs from Sir Duke are hard to miss."

"Huh."

"What?"

"That's just curious. I heard something different."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I spun out of control and wound up here, I heard the opening to The Final Countdown. Maybe you heard Stevie Wonder because he couldn't it see coming, either."

The kidnapper strolled into the light. Coupe could see that this guy was his exact doppelgänger except with a few more miles on him. 

"What the fuck?"

"Screwy, isn't it?"

"Who...?"

"C'mon. Isn't it obvious? That smack on the head can't have made you more stupid than you were three hours ago."

"You're..."

"I'm you. From nine years in your future. I'm not entirely sure how I got here but I figured out exactly why once I saw that I was in Chicago on this day. I knew exactly where you'd be. I'm here, I think, to prevent devastation."

Coupe took a long look at the (old) Coupe. If this was bullshit it was exceedingly convincing bullshit. New glasses. A little heavier. The jowls around his chin were a bit saggier and the bags under the eyes more pronounced. Otherwise, this guy looked exactly like him.

"Prove it."

(old) Coupe laughed. "What could I tell you about yourself that you haven't already told everyone? We have a big mouth, Coupe. We have few, if any, secrets. We are writers and write everything that comes into our heads. What proof can I give you?"

Coupe thought about it. He was right. Not many secrets. He was a bad and obvious liar and, as stated, did tend to simply tell anyone his stories. The story he was going to tell tonight was some deep-dive navel-gazing crap that sounded more profound than it was. It was rehashed from stories he'd already told at bars dozens of times because storytelling for Coupe was like standup comedy—a non-stop process of refinement thus constant re-telling.

"Fine. What's the plan, sport? How are you preventing, what did you call it? Devastation?"

"The plan is to hold you here tonight. I have to stop you from meeting... her. You meet her at the show. The two of you have been in the same room half a dozen times over the past year but you never noticed her nor she you. Tonight she says something and you see her. You go over the edge. And nine years later, she destroys you without even a second thought. So we sit until morning. You don't meet her, she can't fuck your life up."

(old) Coupe pulled up a metal folding chair and sat across from Coupe.

"So how does this mystery woman destroy me?" asked Coupe.

"I thought about telling you. I'm not entirely sure how this works but I know that if I told how you come to your end at her hands, you're just arrogant enough to think you could fix it before it happens."

"Oh. Like you're doing now?"

"Touché."

"Can you tell me her name or what she looks like?"

"Can't tell you that. She's gorgeous. A regular manic pixie dream girl. The less you know the better. At least I hope so. I really have no clue what the fuck I'm doing."

"This is some pretty amateur time traveling, Coupe."

"Tell me about it. I'll tell you this. After nine years together, she and I were having one of those big conversations couples have once in a while. The kind when the gloves are off and blunt, caustic honesty is in play. I was drinking pretty heavily and she confesses to wanting to change it all out of boredom. To pursue a life that I was barred from. I couldn't process it and suddenly heard the music as if it was right behind me. Next thing I knew I was standing in front of Easy Bar on Division."

"I don't know that bar."

"You will. You'll live above it for five years. I went in and ordered a beer. Got to talking to the bartender. Sitting on a bar stool was a copy of the latest Reader. I saw the date and it hit me that this was the day I met her."

"And came here to stop yourself. To prevent ..."

"Devastation. Yeah."

"Is this is how time travel works? I'm not sure what the rules are but I don't think you're supposed to come into contact with yourself in the past."

(old) Coupe laughed. "Beats the shit outta me, man. It could be Back to the Future or Peggy Sue Got Married or maybe Endgame. Hell, for all I know this shit is going on constantly with people being sucked into their past to right wrongs all over the place. I mean, if that's case, we're all pretty stupid because there are a lot of wrongs to right and I'm not seeing the positive results in my timeline."

"Endgame?"

"It's the final Avengers movie. Comes out in 2019. No spoilers but it's fucking rad."

The consequence of bad choices is frequently more bad choices. If we succeed in keeping from making this one mistake, of preventing you from ever falling in love with this one specific woman, maybe the rest of it eases up. Maybe the dominos fall another way.

Coupe cracked up. "Dude, this is nuts. How did you know I'd even believe all this nonsense?"

"Because I'm you. We believe in the weirdest shit. That's part of our problem. The end result of her revelation was completely foreseeable—everything she did or said in nine years made it inevitable—but you were so in love with her and equally in love with the fairy tale beginnings of your relationship that you refused to see what was right in front of your face."

"You're really not going to tell me the specifics."

"I'm really not."

"Can you tell me about the future that doesn't involve her? We have all freaking night apparently."

"What the fuck. First thing to know is get rid of your social media. All of it. In 2014 it still seems like a good time but, man, it gets dark fast and never lets up. You'll lose future gigs because of it and you won't handle it well. Just get out of it altogether."

"I lose gigs?"

"Yeah. Not directly but it sure doesn't help. Also, walk away from this storytelling thing. It's fun right now but soon it'll become an avenue for people desperately seeking therapy via audience. People with an axe to grind. It gets real poisonous. Oh, and your assistant at work? Do not trust him. He's a climber and you are in his way. He's a lot smarter than you as loathe as I am to admit it."

"Fuck. Do I do anything right?"

"You do. You're going to shift your blog into an online magazine with a guy who will become a really close friend."

"That's it?"

"There are a few podcasts that have merit. But mostly a string of bad choices."

"That's bleak, man."

"You have to remember that your choices naturally beget other choices. Once the dominos start falling in a direction, it's hard shift it to another. For example, if you decided to have a drink then drive home. Bad choice. You hit a kid. Consequence. You flee the scene. Bad choice. The kid dies. They strap you up and fry your brain. Dominos. The consequence of bad choices is frequently more bad choices. If we succeed in keeping from making this one mistake, of preventing you from ever falling in love with this one specific woman, maybe the rest of it eases up. Maybe the dominos fall another way."

"If it's been so dire, why'd you stay for nine years? Am I basically a masochist?"

"Fair question. It wasn't bad for most of it but what we don't know can hurt us. And what we didn't know is..."

"Yeah. I know. Devastation. Here’s the thing. You know me so I know you. We are pretty dramatic. Hyperbolic. My guess is that this might be some molehill made into mountain. What are you hoping to find when you go back? If I've been such a brutally ineffective person, you must have some kind of journey you'd like to see yourself on, right?"

"I didn't even think of that. I suppose I just want to avert the horrorshow. Just control your emotions better. Don't be so quick to anger, don't lead with your heart as much."

"And you think that if I never meet this woman, everything will just magically be better? I'll make better choices?"

"I don't know. Probably not. Maybe I'm just like that wounded bird in the Mary Oliver poem. Just flailing around violently because I'm wounded. Trust me on this. If by avoiding this one relationship, we get testicular cancer and die without a set of balls, it would go better for us."

Coupe paused to consider the weight of this statement. "Jesus Christ, dude. Who is she? Hitler? I mean, the high melodrama of it all. It doesn’t look like she stabbed you in the eye. I mean, sack up, bro. It can’t be that bad. I had no idea I’d become such a whiny bitch. Fess up, already.”

"Stop fishing. All's I'll say is that she breaks something inside you that doesn't grow back or get better. Like losing a limb, you just have to get used to it being gone. It wasn’t malicious on her part. It was thoughtless but not on purpose. It’s just who she fundamentally is. What she breaks is one of those parts of you that drives you. That makes you, if not great, at least mostly good. You really should listen to your friend, Jack. He warns you about her. You ignore him. He's smarter than you. He's the Spock to your..."

"Kirk. Yeah, that's true. Jack sees things I miss. And I ignore him?"

"Coupe, you fall for her so hard nothing else seems to matter. You need other things to matter, I think, in order to make some better choices."

“These are your—my—our choices. It takes two to tango.”

“Yup. I didn’t ask to be here but here I am. I’m winging it here. You might be 100% correct—I might be overblowing all of this but I figure it must be significant. You’ve been through two divorces and Allyson for four years and, as far as I know, you never came back in time to change it. Maybe that’s it. I have nine years on you and I’m no smarter than you. The single dumbest time traveler on the list.”

"How much longer? I gotta pee."

"Show's over. Reception party is wrapping up. If I did what I think I did, if I go back to 2024, my reality will be different."

"And if it's not?"

"Then you fucked it up. Again."

Coupe woke up, his head splitting. He'd heard the music and then nothing. He didn't think his night in 2014 was a dream but he couldn't be sure.

He looked around the apartment. It looked exactly the same. He was on the couch. The bedroom door was closed. He crept quietly to it and cracked it open. He poked his head in to see who was in the bed.

She heard him and rolled over.

He shut the door, leaned against the wall, and slid to the floor. 

A week after missing the show, Coupe had made his excuses and apologies. He certainly didn’t tell anyone—not even Jack—about his bizarre abduction. He was, however, focused on making better choices. Second chances are rare and he wasn’t about to squander this one.

Sitting at Clark’s Diner on Lincoln Ave with his group of storytelling friends, he was holding court, telling them the story he would’ve told a week earlier. 

Across the aisle at a table sat two women. Both were dressed like teenagers from the nineties. Both were in their thirties. The bleach blonde kept looking over at Coupe as if his performance was spoiling her night.

“Hey. Hey! Clam up, Chatty Cathy!” she barked and pulled a mime drawstring from her chest following with “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” Coupe looked her directly in the eyes.

Lightning struck. Again.

Devastation still came.

#fiction