Tumgik
#sorry some of them are blurry i did this during work <3
angelwiththeblue-box · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
part one of more probably im literally insane about them <3 (show that ended five years ago)
225 notes · View notes
amentomensmut · 4 months
Note
hi! could I please request an angst piece for Mike Schmidt where he starts working longer hours and accidentally misses his date with the reader because he’s picking up extra shifts to make enough money to buy them nicer things like jewelry? I would appreciate it if they could talk about it and then he tries to make it up to them by spending more quality time with them :)
How can I make it up to you?
Tumblr media
Mike Schmidt x Fem!reader wc: 1.8k
warnings: none, really! angst, fluff, pet names (baby, sweetheart)
note: SORRY i've been gone so long, part 2 for first time for everything WILL HAPPEN. however, loved writing some angst for a change :) enjoy <3
45 minutes.
Mike was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago.
You check your phone again out of habit and sigh. No new missed calls or texts. You scan the restaurant once again and you realise how pathetic you must look sitting here alone. You down the last of your chardonnay and call for the bill. 
You know Mike works hard to provide for Abby, and you admire that. However, he promised you a nice night out tonight. You hold back tears as you leave the restaurant. Sometimes you feel selfish for thinking it, but you wish Mike didn’t have to work so much. You barely get to see him during the week, and when you do he’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open. You shouldn’t hold it against him, you know that. But can’t he also make time for you?
Tears are spilling out of your eyes and down your cheeks by the time you get to and in your car, and you don’t care enough to wipe them away. The sting of mascara in your eyes doesn’t seem to faze you, and when you see Mike's name pop up on the screen on your ringing phone, you start to cry even more.
“Baby? I’m so sorry I’m late, but I’m on my way over now. I had to pick up an extra shift, and then I needed to make a quick stop at the store which took me way longer than expected.” You hear Mike's distant voice on the other end of the phone, and the sound of a turn signal going off; signalling he’s in his car.
You try not to make it obvious you’re crying, but the sound of his voice makes a broken sob leave your lips.
“Sweetheart? Please talk to me.” Mike calls, and his voice sounds so desperate for any kind of answer on your end. 
“Just don’t even fucking bother, Mike. I left already anyway.” Your sadness has very quickly turned to anger from hearing Mike’s half-assed apology, and you couldn’t give a shit if your words hurt him. He hurt you first. You start your car, wiping your blurry eyes and pulling out of the parking lot.
“You left? But you’ve wanted to eat at that place for months.” And Mike was right. You had wanted to eat at that restaurant for months. It was some new Italian place that had sparked your interest, and when you had planned this date, the first thing you did was make a reservation. Too bad it had gone to waste.
“I guess I lost my appetite.” You said, hanging up the phone. You want to yell and scream at him, but what good would that do? You don’t have the energy, so instead when you get home you change into some comfy clothes and curl up in your bed. 
You’re not one for big, dramatic gestures, but you do consider burning his hoodie that you currently wear. It smells exactly like him and that makes you cry even more. The one person who you want to comfort you right now, is the reason you’re crying. You’re not sure if it was fair for you to be so harsh towards him on the phone, but you can’t find it in you to care. You had the whole night planned, you wore Mike's favourite dress, you bought his favourite ice cream to share when you got home, all for it to be wasted. 
The sound of your doorbell ringing jolts you awake, and you groan as you roll out of bed. You’re almost 99% sure you know who’s at the door, and you consider not even answering it. However, the part of you that still wants to see Mike wins, and you open the door. On your doorstep is a very guilty looking Mike holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers, and in his other hand a bag that holds your favourite candy. You almost want to forgive him right then and there. Almost.
“It’s late, Mike.” You say, crossing your arms like it's a defence mechanism. You take in his appearance. His hair is dishevelled, like he’s been running his hands through it, and you know that’s something he does when he gets anxious. His eyes are tired and his lips are bitten. 
“Yeah, yeah I know. I just-, well, I got you these.” He says, handing you the bouquet of flowers. You consider not taking them for a moment, but you rule that option out as you look at Mike’s tired, sad eyes. You hold the bouquet in your hands, waiting for Mike’s next words. You know he struggles with voicing his feelings and emotions, but if he thinks he can just buy you flowers and candy as a way to apologise, he would be sorely mistaken. 
“How’d you get these? The flower shop closed two hours ago.”
“It was closing when I got there. I kinda had to bribe the guy to let me in.” Mike says with a nervous laugh, and your heart warms at the sweet gesture. There’s a pregnant pause, and you can tell Mike is trying to find the right words to speak.
“I’m really sorry. I’m sorry for being late, that I upset you.” Mike starts, and you sigh.
“But we planned this, Mike. And you just didn’t come.” You know your eyes are getting watery again, but you’re hurt. 
“I know, baby. I wanted to get you a gift, but there was a long line at the jewellery store, and the wait was way longer than I expected. I decided to wait because I’ve been picking up extra shifts for months to get you this necklace and-” You cut Mike’s rambling off.
“You got me a necklace?”
“The one that was in that magazine you showed me.” Mike said, and you furrow your eyebrows. If you’re thinking about the same necklace, it was one you had showed him on a whim a few months ago. You were reading a magazine when you had come across a necklace that was just to die for. You had shown him the necklace, gushing about how beautiful it was, but how you could never afford it. There was no way Mike had bought you that necklace, right?
“But I brought that up months ago.”
“I know.”
“You remembered?”
“Of course I did.” Of course he did.
“That’s too much, Mike.”
“I picked up some extra shifts.” He says with a shrug, like what he did isn’t a big deal. 
“You’re making it really hard to be mad at you right now.” You say with your bottom lip between your teeth. Your head and your heart are saying two different things, and even though you do want to forgive him, you’re still hurt from tonight. 
“Come in.” You say, motioning for Mike to follow you inside. 
“Just so you know, I’m not letting you in because I forgive you. It’s just…cold outside.” You continue, putting the flowers on your dining table before leading Mike to your living room.
“I should’ve just forgotten about the necklace. You’re more important than that. I just really wanted to get you something nice.” Mike says as you both sit down on the couch. You can really see how anxious he is now with the way his leg bounces up and down rapidly and how he picks at his nails. 
“Can I see it?” You ask, and Mike is nodding, reaching into the bag that also holds your favourite candy to pull out a box. He hands it to you with bated breath, his eyes scanning your face. You open the box, your lips parting in shock. You knew it was the necklace you had been wanting, but to see its beauty in real life was something else. 
“Mike, it’s beautiful.” You say, taking the necklace out of the box to feel it in your hands.
“I thought it suited you.” Mike says. “Can I put it on for you?” He adds, and you nod, turning around so your back is facing Mike. Mike’s gentle hands push your hair over one side of your shoulder. He lays the necklace over the front of your neck, clasping it at the back. 
“Let me see you.” He demands softly, and you turn back around. Mike’s lust filled eyes scan your neck and face, and you feel shy in his intense gaze. 
“You’re stunning, baby.” Mike says, and the sincerity in his voice makes you melt. “Can’t believe I made my pretty girl cry. I’m so sorry.” 
“I really wanted to have a nice night together, Mike. I feel like I barely get to see you anymore.” That selfish feeling bubbles up in your stomach once again, but you push it away. You need to have this conversation with him. Mike sighs, and you can see a look of guilt and sadness wash over his face.
“I know, sweetheart. And you’re right. I don’t mean to neglect you. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a while. You keep me sane.” Mike admits with a sad smile, and he reaches to grab your hand, squeezing it softly. 
“I guess sometimes I get so caught up with work, wanting to be able to provide for you and Abby.” Mike continues, and he looks up into your eyes so you can see the truth and a genuineness in his tone.
“I love the necklace, I think it’s incredibly thoughtful, don’t get me wrong. But I'd just rather you spend time with me than buy me things. I know you’re busy, and I know Abby is your first priority so I’ll never ask you to sacrifice the time you dedicate towards her, for me. All I’ll ask is that when we plan a date, or when we're together, that’s the time you dedicate to me, and you're completely there in the moment. Okay?” You say, rubbing your thumb against the back of Mike's hand. You know how hard he works, and it’s one of the many things you admire about him. You’re not asking him to drop everything to be with you, and you know how much Abby means to him. You love him, and the time you don’t get to spend with him feels like time wasted.
“Okay.” Mike says, and he’s pulling you into a long embrace. His strong arms hug you and hold you tightly to his body. You wish that things could’ve gone differently tonight, but you know that this conversation was important, and you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. 
“Do you want to watch a movie and dig into this candy that I bought for you?” Mike asks, his voice muffled from his face being tucked into your shoulder. You pull away from Mike and he presses a kiss to your forehead, something you know he always does to wordlessly say “I love you.”
“I’ll even let you choose the movie.” He teases, and you roll your eyes at him. 
“How generous of you.” You tease back, and soon enough you’re curled up into his side, eating your favourite candy, watching a movie that you got to choose.
369 notes · View notes
mistywaves98 · 1 year
Note
yfsdtydcstshegwsvjhgv hear me out hear me out,,,, yandere!scara controlling reader like he did Haypasia but instead of just making her follow him, he turns the reader into his personal cumdump- reader tries oh so hard to fight back, watching as if its a movie as her body is used as a fucktoy for the ex-harbringer- but the thing is, after a while of this, the reader begins to believe everything he says, that her only purpose in life is to bring him pleasure and becomes scara's perfect obedient little pet <3
-super duper cool anon
This is such a juicy idea anon!
Edit: I think I strayed a bit from what the ask said, sooo uhh, really sorry about that anon 😬😔
✧・゚:* Yandere! Scaramouche x Fem! Reader
✧・゚:* ¡Warnings!: Not proofread, Yandere themes (but not that intense), Non con, Degradation, Lots of repetition of words, collaring, rough sex, Mean! Scaramouche, Kidnapping, I think that's it!
✧・゚:* Minor writing smut! DNI if uncomfy!
✧・゚:* Reblogs are greatly appreciated!
Tumblr media
As another one of the scholars who dedicated their lives to trying to connect their consciousness to Irminsul, that is what you spent all of your time doing. Yes, you knew of the tales of what happened to most of those who did manage to accomplish such a task but your desire for the kind of knowledge you could potentially gain blocked out any protests against your actions.
One time you actually saw something while meditating, visions of some sort and although they were blurry and barely distinguishable, it excited you. Since then, you've been training hard, hoping to experience that again.
You heard from somewhere that the Palace of Alcazarzaray was a good place to practice your meditation, so that's where you could be found as the days followed. As you meditated more and more, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to your goal, it was only a matter of time, you told yourself. However, you also realized that during the rare times when you weren't meditating, you felt dazed and unfocused and often times you swore you saw something, or glimpses of someone. Though this worried you to a very small extent, instead, you thought you just needed to work a little harder. Eventually it got to a point where you spent all your time meditating, evoking worry from your relatives. In fact, the only thing that stopped you from meditating full time was them coming to 'snap you out of it' as they said. This annoyed you very much and although you knew they meant well, you were too close now and you had already accepted the risks this journey was accompanied with.
So, taking a small choice of possessions, you went to a remote, isolated part of the forest where you would meditate for days on end, not sleeping, eating or drinking. Strangely enough, your body seemed fine with it too, you weren't fatigued at all, it was just the haziness and hallucinations.
Now you were sitting on the floor of the cave, face relaxed but at the same time fixed with an expression of concentration. You focused....and focused.....and focused.....
Yes....
You could feel it, just a little more....
Your eyes suddenly shot open.
Scanning your surroundings you immediately realized something was off. The earth seemed to be layered with a gray tint and there was someone standing right in front of you with their back turned.
"Have...I...finally done it once more? Is....my consciousness.... connected to Irminsul?" You hesitantly ask, "Hmph. Not even a 'hello' at least? I expected better from my first follower."
What? What is he talking about? But wait.... He seems familiar..."Who...are you?" It's difficult to talk, your mind feels heavy and your vision is blurring momentarily. "Me? They call me Scaramouche or 'the Balladeer.' I am a member of the eleven fatui Harbingers but soon I will be known as the god of Sumeru. For now, however, you will address me as 'master,' understood?" He turned around and you were met with two purple eyes glaring down at you. The Harbingers? You've heard of that before, back when you were in the Akademiya, they're from Snezhnaya, right?
Scaramouche's voice brings you out of your thoughts,"I said, 'is that understood?' " "U-uh, yes....master..." His frown turns into an expression of smugness. "Good, I suppose you're pretty baffled by the situation you've found yourself in, but I'll have some mercy and explain it to you."
Your eyes widen when he reveals that he had been watching you ever since you had that experience with the indescribable visions. Those were...his memories? And apparently he's going to become a god? And he has chosen you as his first follower? "Why, you may ask? Well, no one has ever managed to connect directly to my consciousness before, so I took this as a sign. A sign that you are the chosen one." Huh, so you didn't connect to Irminsul after all and instead you're peering into the consciousness of one of the Harbingers? This information is hard for your now unstable mind to process. It hurts...You bring a hand to your aching forehead and try to soothe the pain. "...Can't...focus.."
Suddenly, a hand grips your jaw and tilts your head up so that you make eye contact with him,"You look so dumb right now, but it's alright, you won't need to think much from now on." You gasp as he kisses you roughly, pushing his tongue into your open mouth. His hands grab both of your wrists in a painful grip as he shoves you into the ground, lips still connected. You try struggle under his grip, only to find you can barely move. You try breaking the kiss but not only does he push harder, you can't even move your head and when he pulls away, you cringe at the strings of saliva between you two.
"Why...?" Is all you can manage as you gasp for breath,"Don't ask questions, all you need to know is that you are going to be my little stress toy from now until the day you die." His tone is snappy and you shut up at once, mind hazy. Scaramouche looks as your flushed face and chuckles darkly,"Your mind is weak, you can't even think straight, can you? And without the ability to properly process things you leave your body in a very vulnerable state, don't you know that? Hehe, I'm going to have so much fun with you..." He was right, your mind was under so much strain during your intense meditation sessions, now you don't have the brain to fight back.
His hands let go of your wrists and began to trail down your body, stopping to cup your breasts. You couldn't help but moan as he massaged the soft flesh through your clothes. Then, without warning he tore your top apart, exposing the white bra confining your chest. He made quick work of that two and as soon as the piece of fabric fell to the ground, his fingers went up to flick your now-hard nipples. Suddenly he gave them both a particularly harsh tug, grinning when you yelped in pain. With one hand playing with your left breast, he used his free hand to hike up your obnoxiously long skirt.
"You don't even wear a pair of shorts under this? Such a whore." He smirked at the help you let as as he smacked your pussy. You bit your lip as whimpers threatened to leave your throat as he used his slender fingers to circle your clothed clit. "Please....stop..." "Stop? When you are this wet? Just admit it, you're getting off on your god fucking you." "No...I—" You gag as Scaramouche stuffs three fingers deep down your throat "Stop talking and suck if you know what good for you."
When he finally decided you're wet enough, he slipped your panties off and pocketed them despite your protests. He then flips you unto your stomach before taking his cock out of the confines of his pants,"Now we move on to my favourite part."
A ragged scream is ripped from your throat as he immediately bottomed out inside of you. The situation doesn't get any better when he starts moving right after, barely giving you time to adjust to his size. His pace is fast and his thrusts are brutal, your body rocks back and forward with each slam of his hips. Your own hips feel bruised from the grip he has on them. The burn of his cock abusing your insides has tears streaming down your face and choked out sobs and moans leaving your mouth. A sadistic smile is plastered across his face, clearly enjoying your discomfort and pain,"You look so pretty with tears flowing down your face—hah—you feel so good, these virgin walls are squeezing me so tightly. Yes, cum of my cock, on your lord's cock and show me that only I can pleasure you like this."
Until that moment you didn't even realize you were getting closer to orgasming but you did as he said and the knot in your stomach snapped as you released all over him with a cry. That didn't stop Scaramouche from continuing to fuck you though, his pace barely faltered and his thrusts were just as hard as before,"Please—ngh—stop...no—more..." "Shut up. Your master hasn't had his pleasure yet and you will take everything he gives you until he's satisfied."
He then proceeded to bury his teeth into your neck, biting down so hard the skin broke, causing blood to leak from the wound. You shiver as his tongue darts out to lick a long stripe up your neck, gathering the warm liquid on it in the process. The way his cock is pistoning in and out of you has you weakly clawing at the dirt beneath. You continue to helplessly moan as his breathing gets more ragged and heavy, he must be close. Said assumption proves to be right when you suddenly feel a burst of hot liquid shoot straight into your pussy. Scaramouche finally stops and pulls out of your sore cunt, watching as the white substance leaks out of your abused hole, past your trembling thighs and onto the ground. A pleased look adorns his face,"Hehe, seems like I forgot to mention that I was about to cum, but that's alright, you couldn't anything about it anyway even if you knew."
Tumblr media
You sat on the bed situated in the corner of the room, staring at the wall. Your eyes eventually landed on the chains binding your hands to the bed posts, restricting your movements. They were so short, you couldn't even walk a few inches away from the bed.
It had been months since Scaramouche kidnapped you from the cave you originally resided in after fucking your brains out. Since then he has kept you here, occasionally coming to 'check up' on his little pet which mostly consisted of him manhandling you till you were about to pass out. Everytime he came to you, you could see how he was gradually falling into madness. His words became more cruel, more unghinged, more obsessive.
It made you afraid of him and you were worried that someday he might snap and do something unthinkable.
Your gaze shifted to the mirror on the dresser right across from you. A collar was tightly looped around your neck with the name 'Scaramouche' in bold letters. Your hand came up and you tugged it slightly. It didn't budge. Tears filled your eyes at the humiliating memories it brought back. When he first showed it to you, you absolutely refused to wear it and after a lot of resistance from you he was able to secure it, he also fastened it so tightly it choked you at first. And he never bothered to loosen it. Sometimes, on the days when he was feeling it, he would attach a leash to the collar and use it to suffocate you if you were being to bratty.
Your eyes went lower to observe your attire. You'd been forbidden to wear anything besides a town that barely covered your thighs. That is, unless Scaramouche demanded otherwise. The material was so thin and you weren't even allowed to wear anything under it. For easy access, he said.
You've gotten over your dizzy, hallucinating state a long time ago and since you're usually locked up in the room, it's given you a lot of time to think. What has happened to your family? Have they noticed your disappearance? Are they looking for you? Did Scaramouche kill them? But he has no reason to do such a thing, but then again, you wouldn't put it past him to kill innocent people.
You flinch as the door opens. He's back already?
Your eyes widen in fear and you can't help but back up little by little when he approaches you. Soon you're pressed against the headboard and he gets on the bed and crawls over you. You stare into his dull eyes with your frightened ones. You can't see anything but obsession, lust and insanity in them.
"How's my little servant doing? Have you been enjoying your time here? You better have been. Why do you look so afraid? Hehe, you thought I wouldn't notice? You can't hide anything from your god you know." His cold hand rested on your cheek, slowly going down to trace the letters engraved on the collar you were forced to wear. A maniacal smile stretched across his face as he looked at it, pupils dilating with lust. Suddenly he hooked his fingers under it and gave it a sharp tug, briefly laughing when you gasped and instinctively grabbed his arm, as he pulled you forward.
Now he was so close that you could feel his hot breath against your lips. Without warning he kissed you with so much force your head hit the wooden headboard of the bed. This caused your mouth to slightly part in surprise and Scaramouche's tongue was practically down your throat instantly.
His knee made it's way between your legs, pressing up against your bare pussy and rubbing against it. You felt him smile against your mouth as your thighs squeezed his own in a futile attempt to conceal your now aroused state.
When he finally broke the kiss, you gratefully inhaled the much needed oxygen as your face burned with humiliation. You hated being in such a vulnerable state, you hated being so easy to take advantage of. But there was nothing you could do about the way the Harbinger's hands snuck under your gown to roughly grope your chest. No matter what you did or wanted to do, you could only moan in guilty pleasure.
Soon enough, you found yourself in a familiar but unwelcomed position: face pressed into the pillow with your 'lord's' dick thrusting in and out in an attempt to get off. Your hands held onto the sheets for dear life as you came for the 3rd time. Tears rolled down your face and drool stained the pillow as Scaramouche laughed cruelly at your fucked out appearance,"Need a break? Too bad, you won't get one."
You could only mumble inaudible phrases in between gasps and moans in response,"Ngh—please master—hngh—please cum in me—!" "What's that? You want me to fill this slutty hole of yours with my cum? That's right, fill up you like the cumdump you are?" He smirked as you only panted small, breathy 'yes'' to his degrading words. Moments later he finally reached his high and shot his load into your tight pussy.
Scaramouche didn't bother to pull out and instead pressed his chest against your back and whispered into your ear, possessiveness evident in his tone,"No one else can or ever will make you feel like this, only I can bring you this kind of pleasure. You're mine, mine to fuck how I want, mine to do with whatever I please. Right, my little servant?" You nodded dumbly to his statements, mind too mushy to think straight.
You really were just a cumdump for him.
691 notes · View notes
oblivious-idiot · 1 year
Text
Late night collisions
Tumblr media
Summary: You and George had many things in common, one of them being your love for sleeping in oversized t-shirts. Little did you know how much Lockwood and Lucy would speculate.
AN: This is for @lockmad - for helping me with inspiration <3
Warnings: fluff, teasing, kissing/making out, George isn't good at Uno,
Word count: 1.6k
Pairings: George Karim x fem!Reader
You and George had become pretty close since you moved into 35 Portland Row six months ago, but you'd known each other longer than that, back to when George used to work for Fittes and you worked for another small agency. The two of you shared a few different habits, you were both avid researchers, you both got fed up of Lockwood and Lucy's obliviousness to each other, but you both had a habit of sleeping in oversized t-shirts. The two of you had a tendency to find each other in the middle of the night, either bumping into each other in the hall or finding the other in the library, your tired states usually leading to pointless conversations or falling asleep on each other on the couch.
It's funny really, you can remember the day, or should you say night, like it was yesterday. The two of you had bumped into each other during the early hours of the morning to go to the bathroom, leaving you slightly flustered when you saw one another with similar sized t-shirts.
"Oh, sorry!" You say as you bump into George, not seeing him as you were rubbing your tired eyes "No, no, you're okay" George replies softly, his hands bracing your shoulders to keep you steady. You notice that his curly hair is sticking out in every directions - more than usual, and he wasn't wearing his glasses, which made you smile when you realised how cute he looked, all sleepy and disheveled. "What?" George teased, still being able to see your smile, although a little blurry "It's nothing, your hair is just a but unruly tonight, I'm not used to it is all" "Oh come off it y/n, you've seen me half asleep more times than I can count" George said softly, inching towards you so he could see you better without his glasses. He lightly brushed a strand of your hair out the side of your face, your breath hitched as his fingertips made contact with your skin "You should get some sleep, it's late" and before you knew it, he waddled off to the bathroom and left you alone in the dark.
On one of those many late nights, you found George in the library working away on old cases, his cheeks burning red when he saw your sleepy state "Hey Georgie, can't sleep?" you ask as you sip the glass of water in your hand "yeah, you know what it's like, I get carried away" he says as you sit down in the chair next to him, curling your legs to the side of your body on the chair. You sat with George for a little while reading a book to keep him company, before he turned around to look at you "Hey y/n, what do you make of this. There was an old country house in Oxford that had all but been abandoned when a party was disrupted by a large haunting. The house was build on the outskirts of an old graveyard that had been moved, but a few of the party members died from the hauntings" you sat up as he explained and listened to the case "well, it sounds an awful like they didn't move all the bodies from the ground before building the house, and so the Visitors got angry from the large presence of the living. Does it say what Types they were?" "No, but from the descriptions it has to be Type Twos. I would suspect Changers and Wraiths, from how brutal the outcome was and how little people survived."
The two of you ended up chatting into the early hours, though neither of you would admit how sleep deprived or delirious you were starting to get. You had suggested to George that you should play a game, to take your mind of thinking about the case he had told you about, so he searched the bookshelves until he came across a red pack of cards - Uno. The two of you sat on the floor to play, you daren't tell George how you had too much practice from playing it while growing up, slowly enraging him as you kept winning round after round. "Oh come on now y/n, you've got to be cheating" He complained, which only made you giggle and bring your hand to your chest in playful hurt "I don't know how you dare! You're just a sore loser George" but after a few more rounds he still hadn't won once, so instinctly he leaned over to you and tried to take a peak at your cards "George! I'm not cheating!" you cry, pushing him back while keeping the cards close to your chest "I don't believe you, I always win against Lockwood" he retaliated, which made you laugh "that's because Lockwood is awful at card ga-" you began to say but George leapt for your cards, causing you to jump up onto to your feet away from his reach.
"You're not getting my cards George" you manage to muster, you cheeks growing red from laughter as he jumps up to meet you "I just want to know how you keep winning! Where are you putting all your cards?" "I don't have them George, that's the point!" Somehow you hadn't quite noticed how the two of your had become so close, practically within arms reach of one another. You felt his breath on your face, the heat tingling your cheeks. George looked at you, a fiery intensity in his eyes you hadn't seen before, even when he was genuinely mad at you, but this was different. Before you could think, his lips were on yours, his arms pulling you closer to him, only breathing for air when your bodies collided. Without realising, you had dropped the once precious cards from your grasp and threw your arms around his neck, your fingers finding their way to George's hair to ground you in the moment.
What neither of the two of you noticed, was from all the arguing and commotion you made, Lockwood had woken and come down to see what was wrong. When he saw the two of you tangled together, he slowly backed out of the library and headed back upstairs, simply chuckling to himself "it took them long enough".
A few days past since your evening with George, and as far as you were aware no-one else knew it happened, especially not Lockwood as he daren't bring it up in conversation. It was laundry day, you couldn't put off doing the washing any longer, you were quite literally out of all your clothes.
After you took a shower, you sneaked into George's room in your towel. Luckily he wasn't there, you couldn't face him seeing you like this, so you hurried over to his dresser and pulled out one of his oversized t-shirts, certain he wouldn't mind you borrowing one. After changing and drying your hair the best you could, you collected your dirty laundry into a basket and waddled downstairs.
It was quite late in the morning, imagining all your housemates were either out or in the library, so you were surprised you when you saw all three of them in the kitchen discussing a case over eggs and bacon. "Morning y/n. So as I was saying George..." Lockwood says without looking in your direction, but when all he hears is a soft giggle coming from Lucy next to him, his eyes shoot up to meet you. He didn't quite twig what was wrong at first, until he saw George pink in the face and jaw literally dropped "morning all... any spare breakfast?" you manage to ask, your face equally as red as George's. "You haven't been sneaking into George's room in the middle of the night again, have you y/n?" Lucy asked through giggles, gesturing to your outfit which consisted of purely George's t-shirt "I-, I, no I was just borrowing it-" "I don't know what you're getting at Lucy, nothing happened-" George quickly adds, almost stuttering on his words "oh yeah, because it's definitely just laundry day" Lucy winks to you, making your cheeks grow even redder.
"Now now children, no need to shame George and y/n for their commotion the other night" Lockwood finally says with a cheeky grin, which makes everyone whip their heads to look at him "Lockwood!" all three of you cry in a mixture of disgust and surprise. "Lockwood, I swear if you don't shut up" George grumbles, which just makes both Lockwood and Lucy laugh "Oh come on Georgie, me and Luce have been calling it for weeks!" he says, standing up and downing the rest of his tea in one "Alright Luce, where's your purse, you owe me a tenner" and with that the two of them finally dragged themselves out of the kitchen, leaving you alone with George.
After quickly running down the basement and putting your clothes into the washer, you make your way back up to the kitchen, where George is distracting himself making you breakfast. "Sorry about stealing your shirt, I didn't think you'd mind" you say softly as you make yourself a tea, but George just gives you a cheeky smile in return, trying to hide his boyish excitement "It's fine, really. It suits you actually, I just didn't think I'd be seeing you wear one so soon" he teases and you push him away playfully "Shut up George, don't start thinking it'll happen again soon". After serving up your breakfast he pulls you over to the table, he hand softly cupping your cheek as you rest against the table "I hope that wasn't a promise y/n" he smiles before pulling you into a passionate kiss.
298 notes · View notes
bbyquokka · 1 year
Note
Hiii 🫶🏼 last night during my delulu thoughts I thought of something:
Imagine changbin or chan having an argument with their s/o, and after, while they're not talking she gets hurt (nothing serious, like a small cut o a bump on the knee) and she screams and they come running and make up 🥹🥹🥹
oof, I'll see what I can do ‹3
ANGST + FLUFF BELOW CUT – MDNI
warnings: gn!reader, chan is an asshole at the beginning, mention of blood, pet name (pup)
“Fuck, y/n! You're so–”
“So what Chan? Mhm?!” You challenge, eyebrow raised.
“I don't know! Okay, you're just annoying the shit out off me today y/n. I'm so busy with work and all you want is attention this and attention that! Don't you understand that I need to get this done?! Don't you realise the importance of this? Of course you don't because you're just a normal person, nothing special!”
His words stabbed you in the heart. A look of horror on his face as he realises what he just said. His words came out like vomit, unable to stop them from escaping. The colour drains from his face, your shoulders slump.
All you wanted was five minutes, five minutes to spend with your partner before he was off doing whatever he had to do.
Your anger resides, a burning lump in your throat forming as hot tears fill your eyes. your vision blurry, Chan leaping up from his seat to comfort you.
you take a step back, Chan's arms falling limp by his side as his eyebrows furrow together, his own eyes filling with tears as he watches yours fall slowly down your cheeks.
“y/n, i–”
“sorry I'm not special enough for you, Christopher.” you spit, voice monotone. you hastily wipe away your tears, walking to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Chan winces at your words, watching you walk out.
he sits back in his seat, slouching as he rubs his face with his hands.
“how are you going to fix this chan.” he mumbles to himself.
you wash your hands in the kitchen sink, grabbing the ingredients for tonight's dinner. you curse and mumble under your breath, calling Chan every name you could think of whilst blinking back your tears.
“fucking asshole. who does he think he is.” you grumble to yourself, jaw clenching, “all I wanted was some of your precious time, was that too hard for you?!”
so deep in thought and anger, you became unaware of where your hand placement was whilst chopping. next think you know, you feel a sharp stinging sensation, the feeling of your finger bleeding.
you let out a scream, holding your finger as you hiss in pain. Chan hears you, his blood running cold as he dashes to the kitchen.
“y/n!!! are you okay?! what happened?!” he's out off breath, voice laced with concern. you let out a sob, holding your injured hand close to your chest.
“chan.. it hurts.” you whisper. Chan walks to you, his face softening. your finger is stinging and burning, blood seeping from the cut.
“its okay darling, im here. put your finger under some water and I'll get the first aid. can you do that for me, pup?” you nod slowly, pouting.
Chan kisses your forehead before getting the first aid kit. whilst he does that, you put your finger under some water, whimpering and hissing as the unbearable stinging sensation.
moments later, Chan returns. he takes your finger gently, inspecting the wound. he grabs an alcoholic wipe, gently wiping at the cut before inspecting it again.
“its a deep cut, but not deep enough for stitches.” he mumbles to himself. you bite your lip gently. “what are you like?” Chan says with a chuckle, grabbing a bandage to wrap around your wound.
“did you mean it...” you whisper, deciding now was best to talk about what happened. Chan let's out a soft sigh, shaking his head.
“no, I didn't and im so sorry pup. I've been so stressed lately and I know it's not an excuse but the words just.. flew out.”
“do you think I'm not... special?” Chan finishes wrapping your bandage, kissing your finger gently
“your the most special person in my life right now. I adore and love you so so much, pup. I don't ever want to lose you. again, I'm so terribly sorry.” you look up at chan, his eyes filling with tears. “will you forgive your stupid boyfriend?”
he pouts, a few tears rolling down his cheek. you laugh softly, reaching up and wiping away his tears.
“of course I will, chan.”
Tumblr media
→ TAGS [open]: @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @laylasbunbunny | @septicrebel | @bbujiikseu | @cixrosie | @g4m3girl | @oshimee
Tumblr media
→ m.list – → tell me what you think here!
230 notes · View notes
alovesreading · 1 year
Text
Constant Repeat | Part 7
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 16.8k 
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.  
A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! This is probably one of my favorite chapters and you'll know why by the end of it. Seeing your reactions to this one is gonna be a wonderful birthday gift hahaha, so I'm very excited to see what you think of it!! Enjoy xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |
Tumblr media
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
It was the start of the second week of the year and Matt had just arrived in Los Angeles. Ella had picked Breana up early to go and pick him up from the airport, and she had acted like the couple's reunion hadn't made her tear up. She truly loved them both so much, even if they were a multiplied menace together.
The three went to have breakfast, with Julian joining them shortly after they had been seated. It was a cute little bakery that had some of the best pastries and coffee Ella had ever had, she went there so often that she was recognized by the staff.
"So how were the holidays?" Ella let her cup of tea rest on the table softly to give the drummer her whole attention, hoping to hear only wonderful things about the holiday season in his hometown.
Matt just shrugged, knowing it had been good but like usual, "Really good, nothing too interesting. Got to spend time with my mum and dad, the lads..." But he trailed off, remembering his grand discovery. "Well..." He started with bubbling excitement but when he realized Julian was there, and Ella was very much not single, he decided against telling her. It would only bring trouble. "No, yeah, nothing interesting."
Ella chuckled, sarcastically replying, "Don't sound so sure there."
"Sorry, I thought something worth telling had happened but it's nothing." It was something, but he just couldn't say it. It was a bad idea. "Hope you spoiled this one for me during the holidays." Matt was quick to change the subject, hugging his girlfriend into his side.
Ella smirked, "Surely, I did. I'm sure Julian got a bit jealous over how much time I was spending with her rather than with him."
"These two right?" Matt asked jokingly, with a facial expression that screamed 'can you believe them?'
Julian shook his head, "They're unbelievable."
"Don't go complaining much, most of the time we spend together is when we take those pictures you two love so much." Bre fought, raising her finger up in the air and pointing at both the men accusingly.
Matt lifted his hands up, "Right, right."
Ella wanted to taunt the drummer some more so she added, "Don't show him the pictures from the last session we had, make him beg for them."
"Jesus Christ," Matt scoffed playfully, "Does she always have you begging, mate?"
Ella turned her gaze to Julian, scowling at him. "You will not disclose that information."
"I won't," Julian agreed but then he turned to Matt and mouthed, "Sometimes."
Bre smirked and Matt laughed, Ella smacked Julian's hand which was resting on top of her thigh. The two boys were nothing but trouble.
The next seven days had been just like that, pure banter coming from the drummer, mainly targeted at Ella. He just couldn't hold himself back from teasing her, it was funny seeing her glaring at him all annoyed.
Ella had spent most of the days third wheeling for Bre and Matt, but she truly didn't mind. Julian had started the year with full force, work taking him away most of the week but she wouldn't complain, not when he enjoyed what he did so much and he still made sure to text her sweet things and updates about his whereabouts throughout the day. He had promised her to spend the weekends he had free with her and that's exactly what they had done the weekend before the rest of the band was due to arrive.
When Monday morning arrived, she was ecstatic to go back into the rhythm of things at the studio but much more excited to have her friends back. She was determined to start the year well, having fully let go of any grudges she had from her past with Alex and with her mind set on having things be the way they had been before, when they first had met.
She gave them all a tight hug when she had gotten to Rancho de la Luna.
"How's everything been?" Ella asked them all, and they all replied positively with smiles on their faces. They were brief at telling her how the holidays had been but it all sounded so nice, she was happy for them.
She'd smiled back at them and, once inside, they all rolled right back into the groove of things.
About three hours into the time they'd been there, James had gotten sent the final version of a song they'd done in their last week in LA. They had all agreed in wanting to hear it so James plugged his laptop to the audio system and played it.
The drums quickly drowned the room and then joined the bass which made the room vibrate, the guitar soon came after and Ella was already obsessed with the song.
She hadn't been prepared when Alex's sultry voice started singing, but hearing the first word be the name Arabella got her thinking about how this song was a love song for Arielle.
She cooed internally, thinking about how adorable Alex was for that.
When it got to the chorus, she'd gotten excited over hearing their own version of the 'War Pigs' guitar riff. She'd started beaming at the music she was listening to.
She was slightly confused about the first line of the second verse, feeling oddly personally addressed but it just had to be her brain trying to make shit about herself. She even ignored the fact that the chorus lyrics reminded her of when they were driving down San Diego's coast on the way to that restaurant they visited after Belmont Park.
But when the bridge started and it brought back those memories with each line, she couldn't help her smile faltering, falling down until it completely disappeared. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, her thoughts too scattered to even gush over the stunning guitar solo that was bouncing off the walls by the end.
Ella only snapped back to reality when the last chord of the guitar died inside the room and the lads started eagerly talking about the song and how it had ended up sounding. She was too stunned to speak, having trouble letting the words roll off her tongue when Jamie asked her if she'd liked it.
Forcing herself to smile, Ella nodded, "Oh, yeah, you absolutely killed that Black Sabbath guitar riff." Her gaze was swimming around the room but trying her hardest to keep it from falling on Alex's. "What's the name of this one?" She asked just to make sure.
"Arabella." Jamie replied with a soft grin and she could only nod.
She was so confused, her steps slow as she went back to the settee and focused again on replying to emails but as the minutes passed and the letters on the screen turned into one single blob of unreadable imagery, she decided she needed a breather.
She grabbed her cigarettes and lighter and exited the place. Her shaky legs were barely able to carry her up to where her bike was parked. She plopped down on it, sighing with her head still scrambled. What the fuck? The whiplash she'd gotten from that song was enough to make her want to take the day off.
So much for wanting things to go back to normal.
She sat there, with the sun keeping her warm despite the chilly winds of January, smoking until she felt better. It was on her third cigarette that she had tried to turn the situation around in her head—Maybe he just wrote it a long while ago, she convinced herself and the more she said it, the more it became more factual.
She nodded as she threw the dying bud and stepped on it—It will be the only one about me, he's happy and in love with Arielle.
That's the one thought she kept on loop as she walked back in, going to the kitchen and pouring herself a shot of the studio's brand of tequila. She fucking needed it.
Ella was startled when she left the shot glass with a thud on the kitchen counter and Matt had seen her swallow the gulp of alcohol, "Oi!" He'd exclaimed, "We starting the party early today?" The clock showed a pitiful 12:23pm which made her sigh heavily—it was gonna be such a long day for her.
"Be my guest." Her voice didn't sound inviting at all as she poured a shot for her friend.
Matt frowned at her, "Well if you're gonna be the one starting the party, you should come alive a bit. Damn."
"Piss off." She muttered, no energy left at all to deal with Matt's teasing.
He snorted, "You hated the song that much?"
She shook her head, "No. It was... it was good, just–" She started, but she had to bite her tongue not to spill it out to Matt. "When did you record that one? After I was gone?"
He downed the alcohol without much of a reaction to the taste, "Yeah, we made it pretty quickly actually. I think it might be one of the best and fastest songs we've done for this record so far."
Ella hummed, not knowing what to do with that information. She just turned to the sink to wash the glass and then followed Matt back to the recording room.
When she'd walked through the door, it was like no one had realized how much the song had affected her. Alex was sitting in a chair with a guitar in his hand, next to James and Nick who were also in their own chairs but in front of the massive mixing console.
Their backs were facing her, and she was grateful for that—she was sure her every thought was written all over her face.
She knew she wasn't brave enough to ask Alex about it, to confront him or get any reasoning from him, so she just decided to ignore the whole situation. She had wanted the whole recording period to go smoothly and drama free, but she now knew there was never gonna be a dull moment as long as she was around the band.
Taking a deep breath she reminded herself of her plan of action, just ignore it. And just like that she forced herself to resume sorting through emails, hearing Alex mumbling along a melody he was playing on the guitar.
Isn't it hard to make up your mind
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?
She heard them celebrate at the sudden composition of the lines, encouraging Alex to go over it again and see if he could come up with anything else. His brain was going a thousand miles per hour, trying to find the perfect words to rhyme for the first part of the verse he was coming up with.
After a few tries he knew which configuration of lines he'd liked better, settling for:
I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found
Has it gone for good, or is it coming back around?
Isn't it hard to make up your mind
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?
James nodded eagerly, "That's it. That's it mate." he patted Alex's shoulder proudly, "Sounds like a good chorus actually, we can make it one."
Alex and Nick nodded, having worked with James so many times before meant that the band trusted him fully to take out the full potential of whatever they'd come up with.
That's how that day, Ella had gotten back home humming the melody of the song. She dropped her bag on her sofa and ran to her room to call Breana.
She'd told her all about it, trying her hardest not to mess up the order of the lyrics she could remember and asked the model if she was overreacting, to which Bre firmly said no, agreeing that it was something she'd freak out over too.
Breana had helped her settle adding, "He's a musician though, honey, they all do that. Don't be surprised if there's another one there about you."
Ella groaned, "I rather not. I hope Arielle doesn't even notice about this one." She stayed quiet for a few seconds before she whined in dismay, "Why did he have to go and record a song about me when he has a fucking girlfriend?!"
Breana giggled on the other side, "'Cause he's a man, babe."
Ella sighed, "Fucks sake."
"He could've been more discreet though, don't you think?" Bre added, amused. "He literally has your name in the title of it."
Ella whined like she was in pain, "Why are you making it worse?"
A hard laugh was what she got as a response, "And there's also some of Arielle's name there but that's purely to fool everyone."
Ella rubbed her temples, tired. "I just hope they scrap it from the final record, they told me they had recorded some more songs in London back then along with 'R U Mine?' and 'Electricity' so I'm crossing my fingers they do the same for this one."
"Hopefully, yeah." Her best friend agreed, "Just, don't lose your mind about this okay? If there's any trouble with his girlfriend, it's all his fault."
"I will try my hardest. The worst part is that the song is good..." She was truly in dismay but then she heard the muffled sound of Breana's doorbell through the phone and she laughed, knowing exactly who that was meant to be, "Right, have a fun night hun."
Bre giggled, the sound filled with joy, "I will. Love you! Bye!"
"Love you too, bye!"
The line died, and Ella sighed. What had she done in her past life to deserve this? She was so stressed about the whole thing, she was close to start pulling her hair out.
But then her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, she felt like she could escape the situation for a bit. Hearing Julian's voice was a breath of fresh air, and him telling her he was coming over was like everything had lifted off her shoulders.
What would she do without him?
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Julian having four days free to spend with Ella was the cure to it all. The next few days at the studio had gone by like a breeze when she knew she would be coming back home to him.
But the day she'd come back home from the studio to kiss him goodbye, since he was leaving for a week to work in San Francisco, it had all gone to shit.
Every bit of calmness that Julian had given her after the 'Arabella' situation was thrown out the window when none other than Arielle called her in despair.
"Hi Arielle! How are you?" Ella had asked her in a chipper tone but her whole face fell when she heard the model sniffling on the other side of the call.
"Hi Ellie, not that well to be completely honest."
Ella was completely confused, she wasn't close enough to Arielle to receive a phone call from her during a low moment but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be kind to her and help in any way if she could. "I'm so sorry, is everything okay? Anything I can do for you?"
"I was wondering if you knew anything–" Arielle started but her voice broke and Ella's heart hurt for her, "I saw you were with the guys at the studio already," She remembered the picture she'd posted the day before of the lads just doing their thing, scattered around in the studio.
Ella had no idea what this all was about but what she didn't expect was the model suddenly asking, "How's Alex?"
Her frown got impossibly deeper after that, "Alex? What do you–"
"We broke up." Arielle was quick to say like the words were burning her tongue, "Well, he broke up with me."
Ella pouted to herself, feeling a wave of sadness for the model but the confusion was still very much there because Alex seemed so okay at the studio. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Arielle. I had no idea. I don't think anyone knows... No one mentioned a thing at the studio."
Arielle covered a sob with her hand, heart breaking a bit more at seeing that apparently he hadn't told a single person about it, Matt had texted her earlier asking her if she was joining them anytime soon and that had been a cruel reminder of what had happened, hence why she had decided to call Ella.
"Right." She replied defeated, "I had hoped he'd told you about it, just so I could get some answers."
"What do you mean?" Ella's confusion grew every time Arielle said something else.
"It's just– He broke up with me out of nowhere, Ella." The model took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Can I tell you something in confidence? It's gonna be TMI but I–"
Ella nodded despite knowing Arielle couldn't see her, "'Course you can, it's okay."
But Ella wasn't prepared for what she would get in return, "I'm so sorry, this is so TMI but I'm just baffled," She started again as if she was giving Ella the chance to take it back but at the silence, she sighed, "The night before, Ella, I swear we had the best sex we'd had in months. He fucked me dumb, telling me how gorgeous I was over and over. He called me darling! He's never used that for me before, I–. Fuck, I'm just going crazy trying to understand this."
Ella was shocked. Not only to have to be hearing this but she truly wouldn't have suspected a thing from Alex's behavior—and she was sure the lads didn't know either because only a few days ago Jamie had made a joke and teased him about the singer's girlfriend to which Alex only had replied with a short chuckle.
She decided to ignore the details Arielle had given her, which weren't many but the fact that Alex had called Arielle darling for the first time in that moment had Ella shifting in her place uncomfortably.
"Arielle, I'm so sorry. I genuinely had no idea, he seemed so normal." She sighed, biting on her thumb. "Jamie mentioned you a few days ago, to tease him and he didn't say a thing. He just laughed and kept doing whatever he was doing."
"It's okay Ellie, I guess I will always wonder what happened..." The model sounded so defeated but she continued telling Ella what had happened that last day, "The next morning he made me breakfast and everything, and in the middle of it he just said he couldn't keep our relationship going. Just like that." A curt chuckle came from Arielle, "He almost said that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."
Ella winced, "Oh fuck that..."
Arielle could only hum in agreement and then remembered her poor timing, "Sorry Ella, I probably just interrupted something."
"No, no. Was about to go to bed. Don't you worry Ari, truly." Ella consoled her, "We could go out this weekend? To drink and dance it all away? Julian just left for work and I'll be alone for a week, I'm sure Bre will be down for a girls night." Yes, Alex was her friend but Arielle was one as well so Ella wasn't choosing any sides and if there was anything she could do to help Arielle feel better then she'd do it.
Arielle smiled, silent tears rolling down her cheeks at Ella's kindness. "I would yeah, just send me a text and I'll go wherever."
"Sure. Now go dry those tears hun, he doesn't deserve them."
Arielle giggled, wiping her cheeks. "Thank you, Ellie. Have a goodnight."
"You too Arielle, can't wait to hug you soon. Goodnight."
Fucking hell.
Ella had no idea what the fuck had just happened but she'd decide to ignore it for as long as she could. She needed to relax.
So she rolled a joint, and started smoking out in her backyard. In between puffs, she decided to call Breana and quickly tell her everything, also make sure she was in on going out with Arielle two days from then.
Needless to say, retelling everything had left her even more confused and she ignored the silence on Breana's side when she mentioned his use of the pet name for Arielle. In the back of her mind, Ella knew just what her best friend was thinking but she didn't want to give that another thought.
The next day, Ella had been extra observant, her eyes on Alex at all times and by the end of the day, she was fully intrigued.
She'd bitten her tongue all day, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up but when they were all leaving and she hadn't had a chance to talk to him alone, she basically baited him into staying a bit longer before they left.
Ella asked him for a cigarette, knowing damn well that would make him stay to have one with her. Two minutes had passed of them smoking as they watched the sun die on the horizon, when she gained the courage to ask.
"How's Arielle? Haven't seen her in a while." In her mind it made more sense to go straight to the point, like ripping a bandaid.
What she hadn't expected is for him to hide behind an inquiry of his own, "How's Julian?"
She chuckled quietly to herself, someone's defensive. "He went to San Francisco yesterday night, he's doing a weeklong shoot over there for some city event." And then she turned to him with an eyebrow raised, challenging him to respond to her question.
Alex barely looked at her then, he was afraid that if he told Ella about his new relationship status while looking her in the eye he might beg with them for her to have him.
"We broke up." His statement was simple, not heartfelt at all—it sounded more like he said it fast to get it over and done with.
"Oh," She muttered, trying to contort her face in the best way so he didn't notice she already knew.
But Alex didn't even turn to look at her, he kept his gaze straight ahead of him and took a long drag of his cigarette.
"I'm sorry." She added, hating the suffocating silence.
The singer only shrugged though, "It's okay, just wasn't right anymore."
Her hum was low and quiet, Ella had no idea what to say. "Are you okay?"
He offered her a half smile, "Yeah, why?"
"I don't know, you just seem so normal. Do the guys know?"
"No, don't tell them." Alex silently begged her, "Matt's gonna try and set me up with someone, or worse he's gonna force me to go out on the pull– I can't be arsed."
Ella giggled, fully convinced Matt would. She offered her pinky finger, and Alex locked it with his—the 'death ramps' ring on her skin once again. "Promise."
When she was done with her cigarette, she discarded it on the ground. They hugged each other goodbye and he watched her as she left on her bike.
He shook his head, now that she knew he had no idea what to do with himself. Especially not when he still felt her pinky finger intertwined with his and his skin craved her at all times.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Alex had seen Arielle's post that weekend, the three girls with tequila shots in hand and flipping the camera off.
He had no idea how that had happened, if it had been something planned before he'd told Ella about the breakup or if Ella had called Arielle and taken her out because of it. But he didn't care much, as long as they'd had fun then it would be fine by him—he thought it was kind of Ella and Bre to take Arielle out to distract her after everything.
Ella knew Alex had seen it, the look on his face was enough to know but she was glad to see he seemed completely fine about it. Maybe even happy, as the singer asked her subtly if she'd had fun, she nodded with a smile and added "Trying to power through the hangover though."
That day had been quite calm, the lads had focused on giving a few modifications to some of the songs they had been making and putting on a queue to finish later. Of course Ella was recording the whole process, she'd left the camera on the end of the table they were all sitting by so the angle had the camera catching perfectly what they were all doing.
They had gone back to 'Fireside', trying to make the verses work with the melody they'd been creating and she had been watching it all unfold from her usual place on the settee so she managed to catch Matt instantly when he went to disturb the footage she was getting.
"Oi! Matthew!" She called out after the drummer had stuck his face right in front of the lenses of the recording device, "Stop fucking with the footage."
Jamie had cackled loudly as he turned to point at Ella, "You've just said 'oi', you're officially spending too much time with us."
"Only because I'm getting paid for it." Ella joked with a straight face.
"Same here." added James, making Alex laugh beside him.
His chuckles were contagious, making the rest of the room erupt in laughter. Ella loved moments like these, it was just pure bliss for everyone around.
The hours were going by and the guys had reached the point where they had exhausted their brains too much over finding the perfect placements for the verses in the song, so they moved on to talking about random shit.
Ella had gotten a call from Julian in the middle of Matt telling his childhood antics and how he'd fake being ill to skip school, so she excused herself to go outside. It hadn't been a long call, just about ten minutes since it was all her boyfriend had gotten of free time while working.
When she'd gone back to the room, it was all a frenzy. They were arguing so loud, she grimaced at the change of volume compared to the crickets softly building up a choir outside as the night fell.
"What is going on?" She couldn't even make up what it was that they were talking about.
"Ella, how many instruments can you play?" Nick asked quickly.
The question was so sudden, she automatically let out a confused, "Huh?"
The bassist sighed, he wanted to prove a point, "How many instruments can you play?"
"None," She blushed as it was embarrassing to admit in a room full of musicians.
Matt turned fast to the bassist, "See! Told you."
Nick shook his head, "No, c'mon, you gotta at least know one. Even if it's simple."
The PA stayed quiet under their attentive stares, thinking about how she'd only really played one instrument consistently at a point in her life. "Xylophone." She mumbled to herself, somehow that was even more embarrassing to her than saying she didn't know how to play a single instrument.
"What?" Jamie asked since he was the closest to her and not even him had been able to hear correctly.
She raised her volume enough for them to hear her, "The damn xylophone."
Matt had laughed out loud, whereas the rest of the band had smiled amused at her. She rolled her eyes at their reactions, the only one she liked at the moment was James who was smiling at her understanding how annoying they could be.
Nick turned back to Matt and brought their argument back up, "See! At least one."
Matt refused to accept his defeat, "Not agreeing with you until she plays it. She can say she knows but she might not."
Ella sighed exasperated, "Why would I lie dumbass? That'd be even worse. If you find me a glockenspiel then I'll play it for you, dick."
Matt stood up and went to find the percussion instrument not before telling her, "You're on it." as he walked past her.
Five minutes later, she was sitting in front of a coffee table where the thirty note glockenspiel rested. She had two little wooden mallets, one on each hand, and she started getting nervous under the gaze of all the boys.
"I feel like I'm back on fucking eight grade about to perform for father's day, Jesus Christ."
Matt was ready to take the piss out of her so he encouraged her, "Go on then."
She'd rolled her eyes before thinking back to her last few years in middle school and how she'd been assigned band as extracurriculars. She'd chosen the xylophone because she really hadn't want much of a challenge, it was enough that she'd had to be in band to start with.
So Ella hit the first note and after that E note reached her ears, it was like memory had completely taken over. She played 'Für Elise' smoothly and when she was done she flipped Matt off, "Whatever it was, Nick won."
The drummer waved her off like one waves an annoying mosquito, "But everyone knows how to play that song in whichever instrument they know."
She didn't say anything back to him, just grabbed the mallets back up and with a C note she started playing 'Fly Me to the Moon' by Sinatra. Right after she'd finished with the chorus of it, she started playing 'Take On Me' by A-ha and just to shut him up she finished her repertoire with 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen.
Ella remembered the endless days she'd practice that last song until she got it to perfection, her middle school self was really hard on herself—she still remained the same in that aspect.
Everyone but Matt started clapping making Ella blush, "Thank you, thank you." She took a small bow, "I cannot believe I still remember how to play those songs, haven't played since I started high school."
"Well she can actually play an instrument, so your argument is fucked Matt." Concluded Nick with a victorious smirk on his face.
The drummer rolled his eyes and proceeded to stand up, "Whatever, Ella might be able to but I stand my ground."
She was confused but, honestly, she didn't want to bring the whole thing back up so she decided to just stay with the curiosity. "Where'd you get this? So I can put it away." She asked Matt but before he could answer, Alex interrupted.
"Actually, can you help me?"
Ella set the mallets back on the table, "With what?"
"I feel like we should try and make a soft song," He looked for words to describe what he wanted to do, "Like a lullaby of sorts."
Ella slowly nodded, not so sure if she'd be much help but agreeing nonetheless, "Sure, yeah. Just... I never really composed anything so I'm gonna be hitting notes like a dickhead for a while until I manage to find a melody that sounds right."
Alex shrugged, "That's fine. Would you like to go to another room so you can do it in peace?" He subtly nodded towards Matt and Ella chuckled.
"Yes, please."
A few minutes later, Ella and Alex were settled in the keyboard room. She set the glockenspiel on the small table she was sitting in front of and Alex sat beside her with a Gibson J-45 on his lap.
She had no idea what to do first so she laughed embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands. "Alex what do I do?" Her giggles kept going as she felt her cheeks grow hot.
He laughed with her and started playing random chords to distract her, "Whatever you'd like, just go at it and when you play something you like try to write down the notes so you don't forget."
His journal was open then, in front of her with the pen he always used to write resting in the crease of the middle of the open book. The pages were blank and intimidating, she was so nervous for some reason and she didn't want to disappoint him so the pressure was even greater.
But after an hour, Ella found that making music with Alex was truly an easy smooth ride. He'd played different melodies, sometimes along with the random notes she was playing and when they'd fallen on a pattern that sounded beautiful, she gasped.
"No fucking way." She was truly blown away by the fact that she had been able to help in the making of something that sounded actually pretty.
He smiled proudly at her, "That was stunning. You remember the notes?"
She nodded eagerly, grabbing the pen with her right hand to start writing it down as she played it with her left hand slowly.
It was a tiny part, but it was a start and Alex seemed to really like it. Soon, Alex was playing away on the guitar like a door had been opened and the inspiration had just flooded out.
Alex raised his eyebrows expectantly when he was done with all he was coming up with, "That sound good?"
"Beautiful." She confirmed with a beaming grin on her face.
They went over it again and again, Ella timidly adding a few notes here and there which he always smiled and nodded to. She had a good sense of timing where to put them.
Ella listened to him attentively as he played the chorus again, "I think the bass coming on after the second chorus would lift it all up, maybe everyone could come in after it."
He had a thought, "Change it all, maybe to start a bridge..."
Ella nodded excitedly, that sounded great.
They went over it again, he was racking his brain trying to find anything that he wanted to sing about to such a slow-tempo song.
She'd seen times before how he mumbled as he played, trying to find the perfect words that fit the song, and how like that, slowly, the lines came to life.
On this occasion it wasn't different, the chorus being played by him over and over again as he formed sentences. He seemed to have settled for 'Mad sounds, in your ear. Make you get up and dance' and it sounded beautiful.
"What is it about?" She asked as he wrote the lyric in the journal, his handwriting contrasting against hers on the bottom of the page.
"Dunno yet." He stared at the words he'd just written, what did he want to write about?
"Sounds like the start of an ode to music."
His eyes went over the words again, seeing it in that light made sense. Maybe he'd try and make it go in that direction. "You're right, it does."
Ella smiled once again, feeling very much overjoyed at the new experience she'd just gone through. She was sad about the fact that she hadn't caught at least something on camera, having left it in the other room after the battery died earlier.
When they went back to where the rest of the band and James were, sipping on beer bottles as they chatted, her cheeks hurt from smiling. They showed them all what they'd come up with and Alex made sure they heard Ella's idea.
Matt had stood up and crushed Ella in a hug, "That sounds fucking lovely, welcome to the band Ellie." Her giggles filled the room as Matt squeezed her tighter and she tried to get away from him.
"Thanks but I'll leave that to y'all, I'm not a rockstar." Matt let go of her, and ruffled her hair just to annoy her. She shrieked as her hair came all over her face, she poked him in the ribs making him yelp so loud, it got a chesty laugh out of her.
Alex couldn't wipe the smile out of his face, nothing would. Not only had he gotten Ella to be part of this experience but she had enjoyed it, and seeing her genuinely happy was all he wanted. He'd have to get used to not having her with him in the way he wanted, as long as he had her as a friend then that'd have to be enough.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
The days had gone by fast—between songs getting written on and wiped off the whiteboard they had on the room now, demos getting sent and returned, Ross Orton joining James Ford in the production of some of the songs, days they'd stayed well past the time they had planned, spending weekends at different places of the city. The year was going incredibly well so far.
One afternoon of the very last week of January, they had found themselves rather bored and stuck. They had gone to a pub the night before and they'd been absolutely plastered before it was even two in the morning.
Ella vaguely remembered holding Breana's hair back as she heaved in the pub's bathroom from her attempt at taking consecutive shots of tequila.
So they were all wearing sunglasses indoors, the curtains were closed—but it wasn't doing much because they were pretty much see-through—, sitting in the worst positions on the settees.
"Shouldn't we have just taken the day off?" Jamie wondered with a groan, he had drank just enough but having to basically carry Nick out of the pub to the cab and out of the cab and to the hotel was what had exhausted him completely. "Not even James, nor Ross are coming today."
"It was already booked for us, mate." Replied Alex, his head thrown back and resting on the back of the settee.
Ella grimaced as she sat back straighter and reached for her bag, she smiled seeing the ziplock bag she'd brought with her. She didn't even know why she'd thought it would be the best idea to bring them to the studio but if there was a possibility of nursing their hangovers then she'd take it.
"Would these help?" She lifted the plastic bag in the air, it said 'sandwich bag' and it made her chuckle because inside there could be seen five thick spliffs waiting to be smoked.
No one really cared to see what it was. Ten in the morning was too early for them to want to be there, but when she moved the bag around in the air and opened it, the smell of weed hit them so suddenly that they instantly perked up.
Alex straightened up beside her, taking his sunglasses off and squinting to adjust to the light coming from outside. "What the fuck?"
Nick cleared his throat, "Didn't know you smoked."
"Don't be too surprised." She shrugged, getting her lighter and resting the ziplock bag on her lap, "University parties get you started quite easily..." She trailed off trying to figure out how it would work out, "Should we just pass it around or do each of you want your own?"
"Let's pass it around, so we can smoke for longer." Jamie said logically, he'd rather smoke slowly and throughout the day than finish the weed in fifteen minutes and then have to endure the day being sleepy and still hungover.
Ella lit up the first one, taking a long drag of it and relishing in the familiar feeling of the smoke in her throat. She let the smoke out and passed the spliff to Alex, who mirrored her actions.
By the time the second spliff was done, they were chatting about stupid things. They'd gotten hungry and seeing that it was past noon, they all settled in ordering McDonald's—there had been an overall consensus on how it was the best food to have while high.
They had basically smoked the whole day and when they had smoked the last two, consecutively, it was already nighttime. They were all outside stargazing, the blue of the night so piercing that the spheres of plasma contrasted brightly against it and let their presence known to anyone who could catch it.
For some reason she had started going on and on about everything she knew about galaxies, space and celestial objects. Surprisingly, the lads encouraged her to keep going which ended up in all of them agreeing on how, as kids, they thought that by 2013 they'd be driving flying cars and being able to buy lightsabers at the shops—even admitting that they'd thought time traveling would've been a thing already.
That's how they had ended up back in the recording room, completely determined on how they had to make a song about it all. She'd sat beside Alex, reading the things they'd all come up with and nodding like it was the best line ever written. Jamie was playing the guitar and Nick his bass, Matt patting his thighs as he analyzed what his friends were composing.
She wasn't sure what had happened afterwards as she woke up and found herself sleeping on the biggest settee of their usual recording room. Alex was sleeping on the one adjacent and Matt was snoring away on the floor, with a cushion under his head.
Her groan made the two men stir in their slumber. She grabbed her phone that was thrown in a corner of the room and saw that it was five in the morning. Her back was killing her, why the fuck hadn't we just taken a cab home? she wondered as she walked out to the bathroom.
From afar she saw Jamie sleeping peacefully on the settee in the keyboards room and Nick sleeping on the one by the kitchen.
She was grateful she had been way too hungover to actually do her makeup the day before so the smudge of her mascara was very minimal and she got rid of it easily by washing her face.
Once she was done, she went to the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. She was drinking a glass of water when Nick's voice startled her.
"Good morning, why the fuck did we sleep here?" Since he'd just woken up, his voice was so much deeper than usual and it actually surprised her.
"I have no idea, I don't even remember at what time we fell asleep."
Nick sighed, rubbing his eyes and stood up slowly. "What time is it?"
"Like five twenty" She cringed, it was still dark out but the birds could be heard singing softly.
The bassist cussed and left to use the toilet. She poured herself and Nick a cup of coffee, it was piping hot as it had just been made in the coffee maker the studio had.
It took about half an hour for everyone to wake up, Matt being the last and the one who complained the most.
"Why would yous let me sleep on the fucking floor?" He said through his teeth, making an appearance in the kitchen.
Jamie scoffed, "I tried to get you on one of the settees but you ran back to the main room saying you had to add something to the song."
Ella remembered then that they had all made a song, "Oh my god... We made a song, didn't we?" They all nodded, sipping on their coffees. "Fuck, I don't even know if I wanna listen to it."
But as soon as they finished with their drinks and they had washed and dried it all, they went to the recording room to hear the demo. The bass was prominent in it, and the guitars complimented it perfectly. Alex's voice was slurred and it made them all laugh, but they quieted down at the guitar solo by the end of the recording.
"The guitars are fucking sick in this one." Ella said in appreciation, she was not expecting something actually that good when they had all been in the worst state.
Nick agreed, looping it back to hear the guitar solo once more. "Has b-side potential, to be fair."
They played it once more, hearing the lyrics more closely this time.
It's two thousand and thirteen all across the galaxy
It's two thousand and thirteen
So, baby, take a walk with me
Past flying cars and time machines
There's magic like you won't believe
Ella let the song reach its end to comment, "We are aware that the galaxy is far older, right? Like..." She paused to clear her dry throat, "It was only Jesus who was supposedly born two thousand and thirteen years ago, not the galaxy..."
Matt let out a loud sigh, "Ellie, we're not high anymore so stop nerding out."
"That's just common knowledge–" She argued.
"Ella." He replied sternly.
"Matthew J Helders the third," She said back in the same tone. "Shut. Up."
"Yes Matt, fuck off." Nick sided with Ella and Jamie repeated the same phrase to support the motion.
The drummer scoffed, "Why am I being bullied right now?"
"Because you deserve it." Alex replied this time.
Matt frowned, "I do not."
"I still remember you slandering Bre's favorite Fleetwood Mac record so if you want to keep your stunning girlfriend then shut up."
That had been the only reason why Matt stood quiet for a good ten seconds, and then he told her. "I can't stand you."
Ella gave him a cynical smile, "The feeling is mutual."
Jamie cackled at them, "You two are like fucking siblings arguing, I swear."
Before they could continue bickering though, they heard the front door being opened and closed and by the time they went out to see who it was, they were greeted by the sight of David coming in.
"Good morning everyone," Dave greeted with a smile on his face. "Was coming to check on you, how are you feeling? Slept well?"
Alex nodded, "Yeah mate, thanks very much."
"I tried to get you all a ride home but you all agreed on staying so..." The bearded man added and they all nodded.
"Thank you for letting us stay, man." Matt patted his back in gratitude. "We're just gonna go pick everything up and then we'll leave."
They didn't have the studio booked for the next few days so they gathered all of their stuff up and tidied the rest of the things they had used. They left the place as the sun rose up, Ella waved them off as she took the opposite direction to where they were going. Alex saw the sun hitting the little mirrorball hanging from her rearview mirror, making the light reflect all over the inside of her car.
"Love you guys! Bye!" She yelled out her rolled down window, disappearing into the highway.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Things had been going normal. After those three days they'd had in a sense of a small break, they had gone back to the studio with fresh ideas and the energy buzzed in the room whenever they were all together.
Ella had been more and more invested in the whole process, sometimes asking each of the guys what different things did or how they managed to get an instrument to sound the way it did in their demos. James had gotten used to having Ella beside him in the days Ross wasn't at the studio.
She was usually there first, smoking away as she waited for them, greeting whoever arrived first with a lovely smile and her arms open and ready for a hug.
That's why at the start of the second week of February, Alex had been incredibly confused at not seeing her already there when he got to Rancho de la Luna at eight in the morning.
He greeted David, asking him if Ella was already inside and when he shook his head, the singer's confusion grew. Maybe she'll be late today, he'd told himself so he didn't worry but just in case, he'd left her a text.
(11/02/2013 08:13) Hi Ellie, good morning. Around what time are you coming today? Was surprised to not see you when I got here xx
Slowly, everyone started coming in and when James got to the studio at around ten in the morning, that's when Alex started worrying even more. They hadn't seen her as she usually didn't go to the studio on the weekends like them, where is she? She wasn't one to just miss a work day or be late and not say anything.
Around noon, Matt had gotten a call from Breana—who was currently out in New York for a modeling gig—and Alex would've teased him about how they truly couldn't live without the other if it wasn't for Matt's worried facial expression.
The call was rather quick and all of his replies were meek, it was strange for him to talk like that with Bre so he started to wonder if they had fought or something, but then Matt had told her "Alright, I love you" with a loopy grin on his face before he hung up that had Alex discarding the thought.
Everyone was looking at him expectantly because the call seemed to have had a negative effect on his mood and they wanted to know if everything was alright.
Matt sighed, "Ellie's not gonna make it today, maybe not even the rest of the week." Alex's heart sank at the thought of something having happened to her that could keep her from going to the studio. "She's not feeling very well apparently."
Alex felt his whole body grow cold and it was an instant reaction for him to pick up his phone and leave the room to call her.
He dialed her number over and over for about ten times but none were answered, so he went back to texting her in hopes that it was just that she was ill and had fallen asleep.
(11/02/2013 12:06) Ellie, is everything okay? Bre's just called saying you weren't feeling good and that you'll be missing the next few days here. Just let me know when you see this that you're fine xx
(11/02/2013 12:07) Did you catch a cold? I'll come over with some soup for you, I promise I make the best chicken noodle soup (either it is good or my mum lied) xx
(11/02/2013 12:08) You're probably asleep and I'm being an absolute knob making your phone ring over and over. I'll stop now but just let me know what's going on. Sending you loads of hugs xxxx
The more Alex stared at the clock, the slower time went by. He was too distracted to care about what was going on in the recording room, everyone having to bring him back to reality every five minutes.
By the time it was one thirty in the afternoon, he hadn't been able to take it any longer so he excused himself and ran outside to call Breana. He didn't even care if he'd be interrupting her photoshoot by calling her over and over, he had to know if Ella was okay.
When he rang her for the fifth time, he got his call answered. "Jesus Christ, Alex, is everything alright?"
He was so relieved the model finally picked up, "Yes. Everything's good. Just... Ella. What happened to Ella? Is she okay?"
Breana felt silent, only the shutter of the camera and the clicking of heels on the floor was heard for a few seconds, "Erm, yes. She's just not feeling well."
"Did she get ill? I've been trying to call her and she won't answer." His voice was laced with worry and that wasn't missed by Bre.
Silence again, "Yes..." Bre replied but it sounded like a question and that's when Alex knew she was full of shit.
"Bre, what happened? Is she okay?" His voice got firmer, he didn't understand why she'd be keeping quiet about anything happening to her best friend.
She sighed, "Alex, she's not feeling well and that's all that I can tell you. I promised her I wouldn't say anything else."
"So something did happen," The singer insisted, "Bre, at least let me know her address so I can go check up on her."
"Alex–" The model started in protest but he was quick to interrupt her.
"Bre, you're far away and not coming back until next week. At least let me be the one to check up on her. I just wanna know if she's okay." He heard her sigh and when the line stood silent he continued, "I don't care if she's just ill and you probably think I'm overreacting, I'd rather do that and find out she's okay than brush it off and find out afterwards that something worst has happened and she's been alone."
"Fucking hell, Alex," Breana cursed, giving into his point. "I'll send you it in a text, but just... let me know how she's doing when you get there okay? And hug her tightly for me, please."
He felt like he could finally breathe, "'Course. Cheers, Bre."
It was only seconds after hanging up that Breana sent him Ella's address through text. His hands were sweaty as he went back inside and told the lads he'd be leaving for the day. He didn't even give them time to ask why, because he was out the door as soon as he'd finished his sentence.
Ella's home was only an hour away from the studio but traffic had held him back forty minutes, he'd been fidgeting in his seat all the way to her medium sized one floor house which was painted a gorgeous light green color.
Alex was quick to park his rental-car on her driveway which only had her car present, he figured she had her bike inside her garage. Without missing a beat, he got out of the car and with long fast strides reached her white door and knocked on it.
A long minute went by and no one was opening the door, he knocked harder and rang the doorbell before knocking furiously again. He heard shuffling behind the door and he was relieved but when the door opened, he felt every bit of worry fall over him like a ton of bricks.
Ella was still in her pajamas—a big gray shirt almost covering her red flannel shorts—, her eyes were puffy and just as red as her nose, her hair was a mess in tangles on a bun atop of her head and she had a glass half full on her right hand.
The last person she'd expected was the singer to be standing outside her door, "Alex, what are you doing here?" She was so tired of everything, she just wanted to be alone and wallowing in self pity not having to worry about how she looked and how she was dealing with the shit show that had just unfolded in her life.
"Hey Ellie," His voice was so soft, she was surprised at how just hearing him had felt like a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked, very much worried but not really knowing what to do.
"How did you even find my address? Did Ben or Aaron give you it, I'll kill them." She ranted, on the brink of exploding in anger. Her emotions were a mess, she was a mess, she had no idea what the fuck to do anymore. Nothing made sense to her anymore.
"No, no, I had to beg Bre for it, but what's wrong?" He wanted to know why she looked so broken or, if anything, he just wanted to comfort her. "What are you even drinking?" He took a step towards her and into her house and she stepped back but with the sigh she'd let out, the alcohol in her breath hit him. "Ellie, it's only three in the afternoon."
She laughed, without a hint of humor, "Alex, I truly rather be drunk right now. I do not fucking care what time it is."
He shook his head, watching her leave so he closed the door behind him and followed her steps. "No, absolutely not." He stated and tried to get the glass from her.
"Yes Alex," She downed what was left on the glass before he could get to her, wincing at the whiskey burning her throat. "I've run out of cigarettes, have no weed, I look too crazy to even bother going out to get shit and all I have is whiskey and a few bottles of wine." She used her fingers to count all the misfortunes that had come after the blow she'd taken the night before.
She turned to the whiskey bottle and poured herself another glass, way too full, but it was what she needed. She took a gulp of it and whispered a curse after it struggled to go down her throat.
"Ella, you're gonna have to stop right now." His words were firm, he was trying to be patient but he didn't want her drinking her problems away.
She rolled her eyes, setting the glass down harshly so the alcohol splashed around it. "Alex– I truly don't need you to be logical right now." She took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Just leave okay? You've seen I'm alive. I'm just not feeling good so just go, you have shit to do much more important than me and my fucking mess of a life." The way her voice broke saying that last sentence had him frowning deeper, he wanted to do something, anything to stop feeling the hurt she clearly was was feeling.
"What's wrong, darling? Talk to me." Alex hadn't called her that in a long time, not after he'd caught his mistake in doing that after that call at the Olympics opening ceremony, but he just couldn't help it. He'd tried to reach for her hand but she'd flinched away at the pet name.
It had made her wince, thinking back to what Arielle had told her the month prior about how Alex had called her that as he'd fucked her dumb. She felt so fucking pathetic, so far from special. Am I the problem? She had wondered that all night, as she cried herself to sleep.
She was tired of crying but she couldn't stop it. She was tired of people making her cry, making her believe that she wasn't worthy of anything.
She slowly turned around, sighing heavily before admitting, "He fucking cheated, Al."
Alex felt a blow to his chest, "What?"
Ella's tears cascaded down automatically, breaking his heart in a million little pieces for her. "He's fucking cheated on me, I–" She started but she had to stop as a sob ripped through her. "And you wanna know how I found out? Because his parents caught him in a lie. He told them he'd be going out on dinner with me and when they went to surprise us, they found him with someone else." Her voice raised as she narrated everything, fury in her eyes and the heartbreak making her tremble.
"He fucking admitted to it to them, how he's been seeing this girl for over a month, but when they told him he had to tell me the truth, he fucking refused." A loud scoff came from her, "His mom has had to fucking call me and tell me because this fucking cunt didn't have the balls to say it." She was so baffled, sobbing in disbelief.
Why does it always happen to me? She'd asked herself so many times, she had given up on an answer.
She sniffled, wiping her nose, "So now I've had to break up with him over the fucking phone because I know I wouldn't have been able to do it in person."
Alex walked slowly to get closer to her, not wanting to startle her. "Ellie I'm–" His words were cut by Ella's words of desperation.
"I fucking wanted to marry him Alex! I thought he was it for me!" Pure agony was what was filling every inch of her body and soul. "We had started trying for a baby." She broke down in loud sobs that made her hiccup as she tried to get oxygen back in her lungs.
Alex had no idea what to say to that, he wanted to do nothing more than to murder Julian after torturing him in the most sadistic ways. But she was his priority, making her feel better was what he had to do. He was quick to envelope her in a tight hug, she cried harder hidden in his chest as she fisted his maroon shirt.
Her tears bleed through his shirt and it felt like her heartache was burning his skin. "I just want this hurt gone, I feel like my chest is caving in, Al. I want it gone. Please." Ella begged and her body trembled in his arms. In that moment, all he could think was how he'd do anything to be able to take away the pain from her—he'd carry all of her burdens if it meant she'd be eternally happy, like she deserved.
His left hand was rubbing up and down her back, his right hand holding her head to his chest. He softly shushed her trying to calm her down in the slightest, he had never been good at consoling crying women, but for Ella he'd try and excel at anything she needed from him. "It's gonna be alright Ellie, I promise. You are gonna be okay."
Alex had her walk to the settee with him, she just let him guide her as her cries did nothing but increase.
Pathetic, pitiful, worthless, meaningless, replaceable.
That's all she felt about herself and she hated it, with a deep burning passion.
Alex sat down with her and she scooted onto his side, needing the warmth of his touch around her. She needed someone even if she didn't want to admit it and Alex was determined on keeping his hold on her for as long as she wanted it to.
His fingers started scratching her head, making her relax in her arms. Her sobs started to quiet down after five minutes and her breath slowed down.
"I'm here okay? I'm not leaving." He assured her, looking down at her still shielding on his chest.
She nodded, and she whined softly at the waves of memories coming back to her trying to push her back into a breakdown.
It had been like that since she'd gotten the phone call the night before, she would cry for hours and eventually calm down finding some sleep which was interrupted by the situation being reflected in her dreams, making her start sobbing all over again. She'd only gotten a total of three hours of sleep the night before.
A thought flashed through her head, making her break the hug as her skin crawled in disgust for herself. "I hate this so much," She muttered, recoiling to the corner of the settee, the furthest she could from Alex. "I'm gonna have to go and get tested now, not only for pregnancy but for everything else 'cause I don't even know who he's been fucking. I feel so disgusting."
The singer scooted closer to her, rubbing her arms which were hugging her folded legs closely to her chest.
"He's an absolute prick. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I really truly am." His honesty was so clear but she couldn't take it.
She started crying again, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. He should be."
That made Alex scowl, "Did he not?"
Ella chuckled entirely unamused at the memory of her phone call to him that had happened earlier that day. "He did, over and over but it just made me sick. He said it so many times it started sounding weird. He didn't mean it at all. He's only sorry for himself, that he got caught."
"I want to kill him." Alex said simply.
Her face contorted in pity for herself, because she still felt how much she loved him. "I want this to be a sick and twisted joke." Her chin wobbled, and he knew exactly what it meant.
Of course she still loved him. That's the type of person she was, always a giver. And she never half assed anything so when she loved, she loved in the very best way: passionately and endlessly. He knew that from the way she talked about her family, her friends, her hobbies, her job.
She threw herself in his arms again and sobbed away, none of them noticing how she was basically straddling his lap and how her breasts were pressed against his chest. Her face was buried on his neck and his arms wrapped around her again, the same way they had been doing before. He could feel the erratic thumping of her heart on the other side of his.
It had been an hour that it had taken Ella to exhaust herself to sleep. When her breathing slowed down and he heard one of her soft snores in his ear, he felt relief flooding his system. He knew then that hated seeing her cry, he hated seeing her in despair, sleep deprived—her dark circles were prominent when she'd opened the door and the sunlight hit her face—, relying on alcohol to drown her sorrows.
She deserved so much better.
He stood up from the sofa with her still in his arms, slowly to not wake her up but not even if he had been more careless could she have startled awake. She was in a deep sleep, having found comfort after long hours of misery.
He set her down on her bed, which was still unmade but not that messy which confirmed to him that she hadn't slept well at all the previous night. The covers were soon over her and all the way up to her chin, she'd let out a sound of satisfaction as she snuggled her pillows.
Alex decided to kick his shoes off and sit beside her, watching her peacefully sleep. Sometimes she'd flinch and start crying, hot tears falling from her closed eyes and wetting the pillow under her head. He'd rub her back, whispering 'you're okay, you're okay' until she settled back down, but it hurt him having to see her like that in the first place.
He felt so helpless.
After about three hours, seeing that she was in deep slumber, he thought it would be good for him to get some food. She had definitely not eaten at all that day so she'd be hungry when she woke up. He slowly put his shoes on and exited her house, grabbing her house keys and writing a little note before leaving.
Alex let himself smile fondly at the Tennessee keychain she had, a little silver cowboy boot it was and it reminded him of her mirrorball.
He had seen a few restaurants about ten minutes from her house so he settled for proximity rather than finding a restaurant he knew was good. The thing he least wanted was for her to wake up and see him gone, even if he had left a note.
The singer had decided to get some films from the redbox rental her neighborhood Walgreens had, wanting her to get distracted and enjoy herself for a little.
Despite him rushing to get back as soon as possible, and getting annoyed at himself for taking much longer than anticipated, when he got back she was still asleep. But it was eight in the evening then, so he had to wake her up to have her eat.
He dropped everything he'd gotten slowly on her kitchen counter and he walked carefully into her room. The bed dipping beside her had her stirring, so he felt less bad when he started brushing her hair back and softly whispered her name to have her wake up.
She'd hummed in response to hearing her name being called and he grinned at her pout, she was so effortlessly breathtaking—it was beyond his understanding.
"C'mon darling, I brought you some food." He finally said and she mumbled gibberish in response, "There's ice cream too and some films."
Her eyes slowly peeled open, her pout was replaced by a frown because she didn't remember much of how the hell Alex had ended up in her house.
Regardless, she rubbed her eyes awake and yawned. Slowly but surely she got up and threaded to the bathroom to freshen up, Alex told her he'd be serving their food in the kitchen and to join him when she was ready.
Twenty minutes later, she was out of the bathroom. Freshly showered, with her hair damp and wetting the back of her shirt. She'd changed her pjs for a 'Queens of the Stone Age' big shirt and some joggers.
Alex wanted to coo, seeing her hugging herself as she walked to the living room where he had set everything up. Italian food—her favorite—, a few bottles of Mexican coke he'd found in a bodega next to Walgreens, and 'Sherlock Holmes' ready to play on her TV.
Ella felt a knot tightening up in her throat, she was sure what she'd needed was to be miserable by herself until she'd cried all of her tears but seeing him there, sitting in her living room after having brought her food and shit that would make her feel better with the sweetest smile on his face, reminded her that she needed someone to help her during tough times.
Her pout grew on her face, and Alex was quick to stop her from getting herself worked out over nothing. "Hey, Ellie. It's okay, c'mere." She nodded and walked towards him, tears slowly filling her eyes and threatening to spill. He turned to her once she was sitting beside him and brushed his thumbs on the apples of her cheeks, "Don't cry okay? Let's watch a film and eat well so we can have a good sleep tonight, yeah?"
A tear slipped down and he was quick to wipe it, he pressed a kiss on her forehead to then turn and grab her plate for her. "Here," He handed her the plate, "Spinach ravioli bolognese, your favorite."
A pathetic little chuckle fell from her lips as she received the dish, it indeed was her favorite. "Oh, you remember."
He watched her as she placed the plate on her lap, sitting straight next to him. "Of course I do. I remember loads of things," But it wasn't about that in this situation, so he got her excited for the movie. "Have you seen this one? People say it's great."
Ella had been sure she wasn't hungry but at the smell of her favorite food reaching her nose, her stomach growled. She blushed, shaking her head at Alex's question, "I haven't, no."
Alex smiled at her, and pressed play but as the opening credits rolled, he pushed her softly to start eating. "I wanna know if you like it, try a little bit."
"Well, how different can it be from any other place? I'm sure it's good." Ella replied as she stirred some of the sauce around with her fork.
"Just a bite," He negotiated, "For me?"
The pout on his face seemed to twist her arm, she gave him a tight lip smile before she shoved a bite into her mouth. Her smile got bigger then, as she savored the food. "It's really good," He smiled, pleased to see that she liked it. "Thank you, Al."
He nodded before grabbing his own plate and they both ate slowly as the film played. It had gotten her giggling and quietly gasping at different moments, which made his heart swell inside of him. When the end credits rolled, he asked her if she'd liked it to which she gave him an excited nod of her head. She was smiling, small grins, but it was what he wanted to get from her.
Alex took the dishes to wash them and Ella followed after him with the empty coke bottles and complained about him doing the dishes in her house. He just stared at her right in the eyes as he quickly washed what they'd used and his smirk got bigger the more she complained.
"You're annoying." Ella simply stated when he was done.
Alex chuckled and walked over to her fridge, "Would some ice cream help you forgive me for being annoying?"
"Maybe..."
She took out two small bowls and two spoons, pointing him to where she had her ice cream scooper and thanked him when he filled her bowl with three big servings of the sweet dessert.
They went back to her living room, to play the next one. He'd changed the discs quickly in her DVD player and played the new movie in record time, "I've actually seen this one already, pretty good. You'll like it."
She saw Ryan Gosling on the cover of the DVD case and nodded, "Give me anything Ryan Gosling and I'll love it."
He laughed, and nodded, "Brilliant." and turned to watch the screen just as 'Drive' showed on the screen.
About thirty minutes into the movie, Alex's phone started going off so he excused himself to go outside and pick it up.
It was Breana, who had been texting him over and over because he hadn't given her an update on Ella like he'd promised. He cursed under his breath and closed the door behind him. He'd told Ella to keep watching but she was honestly just trying to please him by watching it with him. She'd been lost in her thoughts all through the start of it, seeing the main characters subtly flirt with one another had made her tragedies catch up to her again and made her silently crumble.
She'd left two of her windows open since the morning, when she'd been smoking her sorrows away until she ran out, so she could hear what Alex was saying.
"Hi, I'm so sorry," She knew he'd lit up a cigarette because she could smell the burning tobacco making its way inside her house. "Got caught up with everything and forgot about my phone." She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds until he started debriefing, "She's okay. I had her sleep for a few hours and got her food, we've been eating and watching some films." She was so confused as to who he was talking to but then he mentioned a name that had her in the brink of tears again. "Bre, I–. Yes, she was crying a lot but she's stopped for now." She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to be there but, alas, Ella's life seemed to be highlighted by always having the worst timing. "If she lets me then yes, I don't want her to be alone while she's going through this. Much less if there's a slight possibility of that cunt coming to bother her."
It didn't sound like jealousy in his voice, just plain anger at what Julian had done to her and in that moment she realized that maybe Alex and her were meant to be friends. Despite the direction things had taken when they'd first met, maybe they were meant to have a strong friendship so they could be there for each other, have each other's backs.
Ella realized how good it felt to have him there with her, because he understood her in a way that only a few people did and he made her feel calm. She needed that.
His voice could be heard further away as she went to her kitchen after pausing the movie and saw the other things that Alex had bought for her: two little bags of gummies, a dark chocolate bar, another Mexican coke, and a pack of Marlboro reds.
He was a life saver, truly.
She opened the pack and grabbed a cigarette, placed it on her mouth and, after closing her windows down, she joined him outside.
He'd gotten scared by the sudden movement at the door behind him, she laughed as she came to stand beside him and he lit her cigarette up at her silent question for it.
"Thank you." She muttered and he smiled in response.
Alex nodded and hummed at whatever Breana was saying, "Yes, Bre, I know and I won't. You have my word." A cloud of smoke left his lips when he chuckled, "I'll text you later, bye."
Ella watched through the corner of her eye as he hung up and placed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.
"Thought I told you to keep watching without me." His gaze came over her, watching her relish in the bad habit they both had.
"You did, but I needed a breather." Ella admitted.
Alex nodded and they both fell to their tangled thoughts. She was lost trying to find answers to the one question echoing the most in her head, why? And he was stuck thinking about what he could do to switch her hurt for brief moments of joy.
"Are you feeling better?"
It took her a minute to answer, her eyes lost in the sky and the sight of the moon. So beautiful and unbothered, shining over every single person on Earth so effortlessly.
"It's a weird thing, honestly. I feel just... numb. Like I'm in shock and don't even know if what's happened is real but then I suddenly feel it all coming over me like I'm getting swallowed by fire and I'm burning alive, but somehow the emptiness I feel in my chest overpowers it all." Word vomit, that's what it had been and she shook her head at herself. "I'm talking out of my ass, aren't I?" Pathetic.
But when Alex instantly shook his head, she felt relieved. "No, you're not. He deserves hell, Ellie, not you. And he surely doesn't deserve your tears or your heartache." He threw the last of his cigarette on the floor and took two steps to be right beside her. He threw his arm around her shoulders and let it fall until he could hug her tightly to his side.
She let her head fall on his shoulder, "I've begged for hours that this is a nightmare but I've pinched myself enough times to know I'm unfortunately awake."
"I'm sorry, Ellie." He kissed the top of her head, and then rested his cheek on it. "But I know you, and I know you're gonna be okay. The shadow of his actions that's following you right now will wither away in time, but it will haunt him till the end of his days."
Tears had started falling again but this time in frustration when she explained, "I hate that my brain wants him to suffer but my heart is begging to spare him some mercy."
"Your heart will catch up, just be patient with it."
He was so good at just saying things like that, it blew her away really. "God, you're so poetic. No wonder you ended up a musician." She felt his chest tremble as he laughed, the cold breeze was a nice contrast to the warmth she felt by being held by Alex. "Thank you, by the way."
That had him lifting his head to look down at her, "What for?"
Ella was still pressed to his side but she tilted her head back slightly to look up at him. "The food, the movies, the candy, the cigarettes, letting me ruin your shirt with my tears, letting me ruin your day with my tragedies, begging Bre for my address, spending the day with me..." She was glad he was there, she was glad to have him. "You're a true friend, Alex Turner."
It hurt, 'friend', but he promised himself that that'd have to be enough for him so it would. He gave her the sweetest smile, "No need to thank me darling, I will always be here for you. No matter what." And he meant that—even if he was on the other side of the world, he was determined to always be there for her. "And you didn't ruin my day, if anything you saved me from Matt being insufferable since Bre is in New York."
She giggled, wiping her tears with her right hand. "Ugh, yeah. He must be unbearable."
Ella decided she was done with her cigarette, so she flicked it and watched it die in the ground of her driveway a couple of feet from her and Alex. She brought her arm to circle around Alex's waist and squeezed him softly, "Let's go back inside."
Alex nodded and dropped his arm from around her, Ella started walking ahead of him back to the front door but stopped in her steps when Alex spun her around by her wrist and crushed her in a hug.
"That one's from Bre," The singer said in her ear, "Forgot to deliver it until now, sorry."
She melted in laughter in his hold. He was such an idiot and she was so damn grateful he'd pestered Bre into giving him her address because she truly didn't know what it would've been of her if she'd spent the day completely alone.
They went back inside and finished the film, which ended up being really good and she'd be sure it would be one she'd watch more times in the future. It wasn't too late, barely midnight but she was falling asleep slowly, the exhaustion catching up to her.
Her yawn made him turn to her, he was gonna have her go to bed and then leave but she offered him to stay before she could even stand up from the settee.
Alex accepted, of course. If Ella hadn't offered, he knew he'd go back to the hotel and then be at her door in the morning to make sure she was alright.
She showed him the guest room and reminded him of where the bathroom was. She'd offered him clothes for him to sleep in but he kindly turned them down as he was fine just sleeping in his underwear.
He had managed to get some sleep for a few hours when he was suddenly woken up by her sobs at three in the morning. He wasn't sure what the noise was at first, too sleep drunk to grasp any logic but when he realized it was her crying, his heart broke.
Alex debated within himself if it would be good to just go and get her to calm down or if he should just let her cry it out but when he heard silence and then another heart ripping sob, he got up and walked to her room.
He knocked softly on her door twice before opening the door, his heart broke seeing her against her headboard hugging her legs. The brightness coming from her phone screen was the only thing keeping the room from being absolutely pitch black.
She saw him blurry through the tears, his hair ruffled and his clothes on his body messily. He hadn't had time to properly button his shirt up, too busy trying to check on her as soon as he could to put every button in its correct place.
"Ellie..." Alex cooed, approaching her as she sniffled, trying to calm herself down.
The second he reached her bed and sat beside her, he saw exactly what she'd been doing. She'd been looking at pictures of her and Julian, not the ones that she'd post but the random domestic ones like the one currently frozen in time on her phone. She looked to have been doing her makeup when he interrupted with a hug, their smiles so big on their faces it made her shiver—it felt like those two people in the picture were making fun of her.
Alex locked her phone and in a quick motion hugged her to his chest.Ella broke down all over again, clutching him like it was the only way she'd hold onto reality and not lose her mind altogether.
"Let's not do that, alright?" He suggested, rubbing her back.
She trembled under his touch from the force and continuity of her sobs, it had been such a stupid idea to go through her phone before going to sleep. Her nod was so small that he'd missed it but he continued on consoling her, pressing kisses to her head and talking in her ear.
"You're okay. He's a fucking idiot. He doesn't deserve your tears. He didn't and doesn't deserve you."
There was sweet conviction laced in his words, somehow Alex telling her helped more than if she tried to tell herself. It resonated more, it echoed louder inside her mind.
"I just don't understand it." Ella hated having to bring it all up again, but when it was all silence around her was when the questions would hunt her down. "A fucking month, he's been fucking someone else and sneaking off while I've been here like a love struck puppy stupidly waiting for him to come back. I feel so used and so stupid."
He lifted his head from where it had been resting on top of hers, so that she'd look at him. It was so dark but he could clearly see the soft sparkle of her eyes. "You're not stupid, Ella. You're the smartest one of us all."
She bit her lip trying not to cry again, chin wobbling at her naivety. "I'm clearly not. I didn't see it happening right in front of my eyes. Fuck knows if she was the only one." She let her head fall back, pressed against her headboard while she stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was the only part of her room she could see that didn't spark memories. "He's everywhere I look, Alex. Every inch of my house is tarnished with him and it's making me feel sick."
Her breath faltered, tears rolling down the corner of her eyes and falling down her temples. She'd started spiraling when she closed her door and suddenly her eyes seemed to only fall on bits that reminded of him. And she had tried her hardest to ignore it, to just think of anything else and let it pass but her heart ached to look back at every moment they'd spent together and she'd been too weak to say no.
Too weak, too naive. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All she felt was stupid.
The more her tears fell on his shoulder, the more Alex could hear her heart tearing apart. "I know, darling. But it will get better."
She straightened up, as her insides filled with anguish. She had no hope left. "I don't see how it can. He was everything. My everything."
He squeezed her tighter and she lifted her head up to rest on his shoulder again. His hand unwavering as it rubbed up and down her arm, warming the coldness in her. How could someone blatantly ruin someone like this? It was so insolent. "I know it's easier said than done, but you'll forget. You'll make new memories to replace the tarnished ones. And with time, the hurt will go and the beauty will remain." Because she seemed to glow so bright when was with Julian and he'd hate to see her dull away.
Ella started crying even more, "How stupid is it that I don't want to let the memories go though? I do this all the fucking time, I cling to every bit I have left of people until I just become numb to losing them one random day. But it's just an endless loop of torture until I get to that point, why can't I just skip this all?" It had only been a day, and she was already exhausted. "I don't even want to be in my own bedroom anymore."
"I know, I know." His hand left her arm to start scratching her head, he smiled slowly when he heard her sigh in content at the feeling. "But think about how this room could easily become your salvation if you ever accidentally let Matt and Breana stay over. And you know how shameless they can be—you'll have to start a new life just in here so you don't accidentally get flashed with Matt's arse. And believe me you really don't. Not a pretty sight at all." That was his awful attempt to lighten her mood up and it seemed to have worked when she snorted and her body shook with laughter.
In between chuckles she managed to respond, "You're an idiot."
Alex hummed a 'no', faux-defensive. "No, Breana is the idiot for going for someone like Matt. Me and you both saw him when we were high in the studio. That line about the galaxy being two thousand years old was definitely him."
"It definitely was." Ella agreed, why would he have gotten so offended by her correction if not.
"Yeah, we're not that stupid." He further backed his point.
But Ella was quick to scoff, "No, not at all Mr. 'Little tiny fruit coming after you'. How high did you get? Rude of you to not share your hallucinogens with me."
He let out a small gasp in fake disbelief, "I've never done such a thing, Miss Hayes."
"I don't believe you. No one writes such a shit song on just weed alone."
"Okay enough of your backchat." Alex argued, but he broke out in laughter at her chosen adjective to the song. "I know it's shit but it's still getting put out, it was a very monumental moment for us. New band member and all."
She moved her head up and tilted it back to look at him with an amused expression, "Yeah, very monumental with your new Glockenspiel player bandmate that doesn't even play a thing in it." The sarcasm making him giggle and the contagious sound had her giggling with him.
After their laughter died back down, Ella felt the ball move back up her throat. And maybe it was the way she held him that little bit tighter which gave her away, but Alex didn't hesitate to pull her the tiniest bit closer and continue to stroke her arm as he asked, "You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to, we can go in the other room?"
She wanted to accept, knowing at least that would make her feel better but the brief feeling of comfort would end up in something worse, "I won't come back in here if I do that... I can't let him take more from me. He's already chewed my heart up, he's not taking anything else."
"Atta girl, see? You're already in the right direction." He could only encourage her. After all, she was going to go about it at her own pace and he'd just be there with her through it.
"I just want the pain to go away. It's not fair." It really wasn't, she couldn't help but think how she was breaking down over and over while Julian could be enjoying his time with whoever it was he'd been seeing. "There's no way he's sobbing at god knows what hour in the morning like I am. How is that fair, Al?"
"It's not, darling." The whole situation infuriated him beyond belief, he wanted to seek revenge for her but not more than he wanted to strip her of the heartbreak. "I wish I could take it all away for you. I really wish I could."
"I just want it all to go away." Ella begged. It was a plea to life, to whoever was up there that thought it was fine to have her go through that.
"It'll pass I promise, and from here it will all just get better and better for you, Ellie. I cross my heart, darling." He'd find a way to pull the strings of the universe if it wasn't soon that it'll all look up for her.
Her hazy mind was able to grasp all that and it was the last thing she remembered before she'd succumbed to slumber, every atom of her being just giving up after the efforts of the past twenty four hours.
She hadn't felt Alex leaving her after he made sure she was truly asleep so she was the tiniest bit disappointed to find herself alone in bed in the morning, without his gentle touch on her to make her feel like all would be alright.
She reprimanded herself, it was just her being greedy at that point—he had been doing more than enough and she shouldn't be asking for more.
Her movements were quiet as she completed her morning routine, trying her best not to wake him up. He'd probably been up most of the night because of her cries, she felt so guilty.
She started making breakfast, finding comfort in the sizzle of the frying eggs and bacon on the pan and the drip of the coffee coming from her Keurig. The toasts were the perfect golden brown and, as she plated everything up for them, she found herself happy over the small victory it was for her to feel even the smallest amount of joy out of cooking a small meal.
Ella decided to move dirty utensils so she could wash them, carefully placing the hot pan in the sink when she saw Alex walking down the hallway and towards the kitchen. He looked to have just come out of the bathroom, she hadn't even heard him leave the guest room in the first place.
She didn't know if it was because of the fact that she was going through the worst heartache of her life, but the sight of him with his hair ruffled and wrinkled clothes shattered her.
Not in a negative way, not that it made her want to drop to the ground and cry, but in the way that she was already mourning the fact that she'd never be able to see him like that ever again. She'd always found him so breathtakingly pretty, but the image was so mundane that it added a layer to his general beauty.
He rubbed his eyes in the most childish way, she almost wanted to scream because of how adorable he looked, "Smells good." was all he said and she grinned like an idiot, filled with gratitude.
She slid the plate towards him on the kitchen counter, "This is the 'thanks for putting up with me yesterday and I'm so sorry for keeping you up all night', kind of like the most popular breakfast on the menu."
He chuckled, looking at the food and then at her. He shook his head with a smile and walked over to hug her, "You don't need to thank me or apologize for any of that. But thank you very much for this, it looks delicious." His arms held her tightly over her shoulders, she hid away on his neck with a smile and her arms around his waist.
They stayed like that for a minute and she tried backing away but he was reluctant to let her go. She pinched his waist and laughed, "It's gonna go cold, Al. Sit down and eat."
Alex left a kiss on her temple before letting go of her and sitting on one of the high chairs to dig into the food.
Ella watched him expectantly as he grabbed some of the food with the fork and placed it on the piece of toast, he lifted it up and took a big bite of it. It was good, really good but he exaggerated his reaction to entertain her.
His moan of satisfaction had her blushing and giving him a bright smile that reached her eyes. "That's really fucking good, Ellie."
She looked down at her own serving of food and timidly said, "Glad you like it."
They continued eating, settled in a comfortable silence and when they finished, he had beat her once again to washing the dishes.
She was leaning on her forearms, by the sink, sipping on her coffee while she watched Alex. The truth is that she wanted to ask for a favor but she was too shy to ask for something else from him. He noticed though, and it was so easy to read on her face that she was dying to say something.
"What's wrong?" His voice was so calm, inviting her to just use her words.
"I, um," Ella rose back up straight, leaving her coffee cup on the kitchen counter. "Could I skip this week at the studio? I would go but I'm sure I won't be the best company while I feel like this."
A sweet smile appeared on Alex's face, "Of course you can. But I have to ask for something in exchange..."
She got the tiniest bit more nervous with that, "Which is?"
"That you let me come over and disrupt your peace every day until you're back."
Ella didn't know what she was expecting but that made her let out a breathy chuckle, "Yeah, sure."
"I could take the camera and record for you as well, so you don't have to tell Ben and Aaron."
"You sure you can work a camera?" She teased, remembering how bad at checking his phone he could be. "A phone is enough of a nightmare for you."
Alex rolled his eyes jokingly, "Yes, I know how to work a camera. How hard can it be?"
She only shook her head, "Okay, I'll get everything ready for you. Are you leaving now?" She checked the time on her microwave and it flashed a 9:25 back at them.
He nodded, drying his hands with one of her kitchen towels. "Just so I can get over with the day as fast as I can and then I'll drive back."
Her eyes froze on his face after he said that. She truly was so glad he was there with her and so willing to stay around. She nodded, and when her gaze fell to his wrinkled and tear stained shirt she frowned.
"I'm gonna lend you a shirt so I can wash yours," She pointed at it, "I ruined it."
"No you didn't. It's fine." The singer spoke back, really not worrying about it but she was quick to shake her head and leave to get a shirt out of her closet.
He followed and when he walked through her door, she was looking through her shirts. "C'mere, choose whichever you'd like. Those are the biggest shirts I have." She waved him over and he complied.
He grabbed the first black shirt he saw and when he unfolded it, he laughed. It read 'Boot, Scoot, Boogie' and it had a pair of cowboy boots beside the big words.
"It's a good country classic, to be fair." She commented with a very amused grin on her face.
Alex lifted the shirt up in the air, "Thanks, Miss Tennessee."
She felt the squeeze in her chest, the last time he'd called her that was when he'd written it in the back of their photobooth pictures—one's that were hidden away in one of her drawers in between pages of her photo albums.
"You're welcome." Ella gave him a tight lip smile, "Now go get ready, before the guys start calling you non-stop"
He waved her off, "Already told them I'd be running late."
He walked into the guest room to gather his things and put them in his pockets, changing his shirt for Ella's and he knew he'd be in the best mood all day because the second the piece of clothing was on, he was drowning in her scent.
Flowers, sweetness and that small hint of tender woods.
He was already drunk on it when he came out, maroon shirt in hand and with a beaming grin on his face.
Ella smiled seeing him with the new shirt, "Suits you well."
"Thank you, darling." Bet it looks better on you. "I'll be back later, alright?"
She nodded, exchanging the shirt in his hand for the camera bag. "You take care of that like a child, Turner."
"I will, I promise." Alex let his arm drop dramatically making it seem like he was gonna drop the bag on the floor causing her to gasp loudly.
He started cackling, her face tinting pink at how easily she'd fallen for his prank. "You dick!"
She pushed him lightly and he started walking towards the front door, "Alright, alright. I'm leaving now." He stopped as she opened the door and right before exiting he opened his arms to hug her.
Ella gracefully walked into them, he wrapped them around her and made them both sway in the embrace. "See you later, Al."
"See you soon, darling." A kiss was left on her temple before he left.
She watched as he carefully placed the bag on the floor of the passenger side and, when he backed out into the road, he waved at her before leaving.
Her chest started feeling heavy again, those hours without Alex there would be hard but she had to power through them.
She remembered his words, 'the hurt will go and the beauty will remain'. She couldn't wait for that day to come.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
A/N: I think that after this you can come to the conclusion that I'm an absolute whore for some angst, I love it so much. Bless Ella though, so sorry girl. Hope you enjoyed this one, shit is getting real now... See you soon with the next one, thank you a billion for reading! xx
Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​ @andrearroe​ @justacaliforniandreamer​ @alexturnersgf69​
95 notes · View notes
kimbapisnotsushi · 28 days
Text
here are some more miscellaneous post-ts headcanons but this time we're not going pro teams we're taking a walk on the side of your average working adult let's go!!
okay let's be real do we REALLY think lev is in charge of his own social media accounts bc i feel like that's a dumpster fire waiting to happen
i'm going to say yes because it's funny as hell
he tweets things like "lol i worked with [insert older veteran actor here] today i had no idea he was such an asshole" and gets frantic phone calls from the pr team like three seconds after posting
his instagram is also full of like. really blurry casual pics and just doesn't look professionally curated at all but the fans love him for it
i'm actually super curious as to whether he gets typecasted a lot and if so i'd love to know what it is
i want to say goofy comic relief side character?? so when he gets selected for a serious drama role nobody is expecting him to blow it out of the water but he does!!!!!!
also another thing lev does that gives his pr team a heart attack is when he posts anything vaguely related to his love life. which funnily enough are the only quality non-shitposts he does himself
like you've got the aesthetic silhouettes against a wall, the hands intertwined on a candlelit table, the vague tweets of "so lucky to wake up next to you. wish it would never end <3" and everyone's going WILD trying to figure out who it is
(and, well, nobody is going to notice shibayama yuuki liking the posts amidst all the other pro volleyball players who do, right?)
shirabu's got a rep in med school for having the worst fucking bedside manner of all time
well not really i think he's like. the kind where fellow/older colleagues and such judge him for it and they think that he could stand to be a LITTLE bit nicer but if he works with kids or whatever i bet the kids would actually really like him.
he's dry and straightforward and calm and takes them seriously and treats them like adults. the only thing he does to baby them is dumb down the medical jargon into an explanation they can actually understand
ugh shirabu actually makes me really soft for what an asshole he is
oh but if you're a bitch ass bastard for no reason he'll try to be as snarky as he can be without like. getting reported to hr or whatever
sorry i know this probably isn't how medical professionalism works irl once again i just think it'd be really funny
also can i just say that i think it's the funniest fucking thing that komi became an actor. like where the hell did THAT come from
i feel like he got thrust into doing a role for a class play during cultural festival season and got hooked on it probably? because literally when else would he have the time to get into/practice that kind of shit
that's probably a fun fact he drops during a magazine interview or something LMAAAAO
"yeah volleyball practice took up most of my time, and i never really thought about doing anything else. but then things changed in my third year of high school when i got cast for cinderella . . ."
speaking of fukurodani. yukie and kaori my beloveds
i skipped out on them during my managers post which i regret deeply and dearly so here they are!!
full disclaimer i don't know how sports promoters actually work i'm assuming they promote whatever sports games they are assigned instead of just sticking to one sport only? which means that whenever kaorie gets her hands on something that isn't volleyball she gets a dozen texts from bokuto moaning about betrayal and treason and all that
when kaori gets with someone she meets through work (so someone on a pro sports team) the rest of fukurodani are like "okay but he's a BASEBALL PLAYER" as if being a baseball player is the most atrocious thing a person could be
kaori's like "guys come ON i told him all of you were cool!" and everyone's like "now why in the world would you tell him that"
yukie has a decently popular cooking channel that is loved not for her yummy recipes or her aesthetic filming but because none of her kitchenware matches
she just collects whatever she likes + a bunch of shit that's been gifted to her and while it should make her kitchen look cluttered it's all just very cozy and lived-in
like. all her pots and pans are different colors and themes. no pair of chopsticks are the same. she has a ladle shaped like a dinosaur and a teapot glazed with magnolias on the side
her recipes DO slap tho she and osamu collab a lot
UGH i love them living nice fulfilling adult lives i wish that were me
15 notes · View notes
scover-va · 6 months
Note
I love your fnaf stuff so much! And I'm very sorry if you've already covered most of this, but like- any more details on Michael post-scooping? Idc whether that be how to fits in publicly (if even possibly lol), relationships he builds, his mentality, or just important events you planned for him after the scooping! Idc if it's even an AU you have, I just love how you write Michael and would love to hear more of anything! :)
cracks my fucking knuckles oh BABEY ok this is going under a read more because i know damn well this is gonna be multiple paragraphs long. Ty anon, michael afton is my favourite topic ever
Okay so, something important to note here is that even if I choose to ignore all of Dittophobia, my au still does have Sister Location occurring after FNAF 1 - Specifically late December, so like. A month after fnaf 1. It ALSO coincides with the fnaf 3 minigames that lead up to William's death. That's a longass discussion all in itself tho so I'll probably make a follow up post on that if requested
But! Post-Scoop Mike! During the time period of Ennard inhabiting his body he was essentially unconscious for the entire ordeal. Like. Yknow how majority of the ghosts are kinda lacking some level of awareness while in the suits? Yeah. Michael doesn't really remember it, but he still remembers the time passing, so it's not just. Like. Dying on the scooping room floor, then BAM! Alive on the sidewalk. It's sorta like. Yknow those movie/show/game cutscenes where everything's vague and blurry and slow-motion and the audio is funky. Like that
When he DID get his body back, for a few minutes it was sorta like. He was back to full awareness. Noticed he could see things, and that his limbs felt heavy, and that he could hear a mix of ringing and the "You won't die" line and flies buzzing around him. The sunlight felt too bright. You know when you take one of those naps that severely fucks you up, and because of that you wake up half-numb, dizzy, and disoriented? Now imagine that but a million times worse. He's in pain everywhere, his senses are readjusting, he knows he shouldn't be able to see or hear or speak but he can do those things anyway. And he can tell that despite it being a bright, sunny day, no one's coming to his aid. So he forces himself up and painfully stumbles home.
Now, well my timeline of events between SL and 3 is a bit vague, I do have the important stuff down. He gets home, and despite not having been allowed to contact his mom since late '86 (this is important and relevant guys i prommy) and having been told she was dead, he called her anyway. Long story short, one phone call later and also lots of general, messy emotional stuff, Michael. Left the state of Utah as a whole and went and lived with his mom over in California. Because of the whole being dead thing, he did kinda unfortunately sever ties with Jeremy and Henry (aka the only two living people left he even spoke to, besides William but he's a week dead by now), but like. He wasn't really sure how he could approach those situations. A guy who's lost a bunch of cognitive and motor abilities, and a man who fell into a deep depression after his daughter's death. Michael kinda saw telling them as like. I dont really have the word for it, but he saw abandonment as the better option. Figured it'd hurt them less
When it came to fitting into public, it was essentially the same as how he blends in during fnaf 6, just with MUCH darker clothes. He likely did hide away for a while, refusing to go outside, but started slowly readjusting. He didn’t make any bonds while there (unless his mom’s adoptive parents count), mostly keeping to himself. He worked, but it was always nightshift jobs where no one else would be around.
Luckily, his hygiene has gotten MUCH better! Due to being a rotten corpse, he tends to start smelling bad and being a general safety hazard rather quickly, so typically he’ll do a thorough shower in the morning, and then another quick shower at night, just to be safe. And also he wears perfume, to avoid a smell building up. Just to be safe.
About 10 years (ish. I picked a general number so I didn’t have to pinpoint exact timing) into his 30 year disappearance, his mom does unfortunately pass. Lung cancer, turns out smoking a shit ton out of grief is a bad idea. Better than the murders, probably. It was very much so a rough time for Mike, given being in and out of a hospital (bad memories from Evan’s death and Jeremy’s near-death kept him in a constant state of anxiety during this time, not to mention those events already made him plenty anxious, paranoid, and overall jumpy when in hospitals) and then the eventual death. That’s when his goal to hunt down his dad kinda went into full swing. Because, well, that last sorta tether just snapped, so now he’s far more goal oriented.
It was probably full of him following small leads. Contacting some distant relatives of his, contacting his father’s old business partners - he kinda tried to procrastinate going back to Utah (specifically Hurricane) for as long as possible. But then news about Fazbear Frights came around, and the return kiiiinda became inevitable. Because unfortunately, it was a damn good lead. Also, once again, Michael remains friendless in this time. Outside of any possible employers or the people he contacted, he hasn’t actually properly, freely spoken to anyone since his mom or grandparents. And he kinda cut ties with his grandparents out of guilt after his mom passed.
And Fazbear Frights is. Interesting! Because as he’s used to, he has to go in to meet his employer! But what he’s not used to is seeing his estranged kinda-cousin-kinda-brother whom he hasn’t seen since they were, like, 14. Aka Sammy. It’s an incredibly awkward experience all around, despite them both having somewhat similar goals. They agree to pretend not to know each other.
Work goes, well, as it pretty much does in game. Nothing special. Probably some panic and resurfacing trauma on night 2. Anyways the fire! That’s the important part!
As one would expect, Michael was quick to get out of the fire. Wasn’t exactly hard to set it - the place is old and dirty and fucking *moldy* - he just tossed a half-smoked cigarette at some loose oil or something and the bitch was ablaze.
William (slash springtrap but im just saying william for simplicity’s sake) caught him in one of the hallways. And had the fucking *audacity* to try and plead with Michael to help him out of the building. And the kicker is that if it weren’t for survival instincts kicking in and causing Michael to topple William over and crush Will’s arm with an arcade machine to keep him down long enough for a quick escape, it would’ve worked. Michael is. Uh. Very emotionally and mentally vulnerable.
A couple years pass after that, before a new Freddy’s place opens, needing someone to run it. Michael does have experience business-wise thanks to watching and learning from his dad as a kid, so it couldn’t be *that* hard, right? He applied under a fake name, got himself all disguised and whatnot, and headed in!
Michael Afton’s Emily Family Reunion Counter: 2
It did take a few minutes for the recognition to actually happen. But. Yeah it was a lil awkward. Considering Michael’s very silent and very sudden exit 32 years ago. Oh yeah also i have fnaf 6 taking place over more than just a week, stretches out from about 2025-2026. No specifics, just a general span of time. Feels more realistic to me, idk. I get the 1 week thing for gameplay/continuity reasons, but hey! This is just an au! I can do whatever shit I please!
And Iiii! Still need to actually flesh out the fnaf 6 stuff beyond my silly lil jokes. Uhh, I think majority of the stuff gets covered here? Feel free to ask further questions on anything, im more than happy to talk about it :-)
11 notes · View notes
cole-el · 1 year
Text
DANGER
Part 3 of my Sasha Calle Supergirl X Male/GN reader fan-fic. Again young Tyler hoechlin Clark and Elizabeth Tulloch Lois. And as always any requests, comments and criticism are welcomed.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
You awaken in a cold sweat, you had just dreamt that Clark had been killed, and it disturbed you to your core, not just seeing your best friend die, but even knowing that the three of you are actually Killable on earth. You are shaking and sweating, a few moments later Kara wakes up, and notices you trembling, she sits up and wraps her arms around you, trying to comfort you, rubbing circles on your back. She continues for a few minutes before you finally start calming down, "shhhhhh, baby, what happened? What happened?" She asked. "I'm sorry,(sniffle) I just had a nightmare, I didn't mean to wake you" you answered. "Awwww, babe, it's okay, I'm here, do you wanna talk about it?" She asked concerned. "Yeah, it's, there was some sort of fight, and Clark. Clark died, and I thought you were next....." you sobbed. "Oh, babe, it was just a bad dream, we're all right, we're fine, we're ok." She says while consoling you. You eventually calm down, and the two of you decide to stay up and talk to each other for the night.
A few hours later you were both off to work, but even at work, you couldn't get the nightmare out of your head. The sight of Clark getting killed by a blurry smudge that you couldn't quite picture, you knew it was mainly black, or was it purple, and It had hints of blue-ish green. You wrote it off as just you worrying too much about a nightmare, that was until it continued for weeks, even when you weren't seeing the horrid sight you had constant anxiety, which was unusual, it scared you, what if it wasn't just a dream? You eventually thought your best bet would be going to a shrink, now obviously you were a bit vague about the details but he told you that it was just stress and anxiety manifesting and it would be fine, but to also talk to Kara and Clark. So that's what you did, you went home and told Kara you were still having the nightmare and even seeing it during the day, as well as your increased anxiety caused by it all.
She and you spent the evening trying to figure out the cause, and if it's a premonition or just your subconscious being paranoid. The two of you decide to go back to a therapist to see if you can try and resolve the problem. In one session you are talking to your therapist when you have another "vision" this time you saw the destruction the fight between the blurry figure and Clark had down to metropolis and the surrounding area, it had completely decimated most of the upper side of the city. After the vision ended you decided to get up and leave the session, determined to find either what was causing the visions or the figure in them. You flew up into the air and started listening for anything that could indicate what you were searching for, even using your x-ray vision to look around better, you spent nigh on an hour until Kara heard you flying around past the speed of sound causing a massive boom.
A few moments later you saw her fly up behind you and you slowed down to meet her, "What are you doing flying round and round so fast?" She asked as it was a pretty valid question. "I'm tryna find whatever's either in or causing these dumb premonitions" you said a bit annoyed from the lack of sleep and constant sense of impending doom you felt for your best friend. "I'm assuming you haven't seen or heard anything?" She said, "Nope" you responded still annoyed, before flying off again to continue searching, leaving Kara a bit surprised by your coldness towards her just then. She decided to help you look but felt it would be best if she let you have some time alone before rejoining you. A while later you saw another vision, this time it wasn't Clark fighting it was just a single image, the crest Kara and Clark wore, bloodied and scratched. After coming too after that one you realized you were no longer flying up high in the sky but were falling, straight towards the Atlantic Ocean, and Splash, you were now in the freezing cold Atlantic Ocean in the middle of the night. Thankfully your suit was waterproof, and you can't exactly get hypothermia other wise you would probably be near death.
You flew out of the water and headed towards dry land, before stopping and checking your phone, you saw that you had 6 unread texts from Kara and three missed calls.
My Other Half ❤️ Kara: hey babe, what time you think you'll be back home? 9:03pm
My Other Half ❤️ Kara: ? 9:37pm
Missed call
My Other Half ❤️ Kara: are you ignoring me? If so why? 10:11pm
Missed call
My Other Half ❤️ Kara: Baby, are you all good? Did you find anything? 10:45pm
My Other Half ❤ Kara: Im going to just go to bed if you're gonna be ignoring my texts 11:00pm
Missed call
My Other Half ❤️ Kara: GN I guess 11:15pm
Shit, you thought to yourself, you didn't wanna piss her off, you just felt like you were being too much of a burden on her with all of this right now. You also decided that you didn't really want to go back until you had at least found something so you would have a somewhat valid reason for ignoring her, even though you knew you didn't. You checked the time. Seeing it was nearing 2:30 in the morning you decided to just stay up and continue till the morning when you had to go back to work again, God you really didn't want to. Screw it, you thought I'll call in sick later, even if you did kinda need the money, you figured one day off wouldn't make too much of a difference.
Later that morning you decided to call Lois and ask to talk to her later. The two of you met up in the early afternoon and you told her about your visions, she was worried to say the least, she wasn't a hundred percent sure she believed you were having "premonitions" but still. She said that you should tell Clark, scratch that, you have to tell him. You got up and left after that, still not wanting to tell your best friend he might die, and that you've seen him die countless times in the same way over and over. But you knew it had to be done eventually.
THE END
20 notes · View notes
thatchubbypillow · 1 year
Text
Reminiscence (that I should've written 2 years ago) about meeting Dan Stevens in person and a heart-warming anecdote :)
OK, I don't know why do I suddenly want to write about this now. Not a special day, not a special occasion, I just remembered that I have never really written a detailed "journal" about this and I don't want this memory to become very blurry over time, so yeah, out of the blue I'm writing this, after more than 2 years. I did post my photo with him on some social medias, but I only wrote like less than 100 words (and 60 of them are about the play not about him lol). And I didn't post anything anywhere about what happened after I met him, so I…I kinda want to share it now. Also, English is not my first language, so forgive me if some words were used incorrectly 😅
Reading the title, I bet you guys already knew that I was talking about Hangmen on broadway. The play closed because of covid, after only two weeks of performance, which was…very unfortunate (the play reopened later but with different actor). But lucky me bought a ticket for a very early date (Mar 02), so I had the opportunity to meet him at the stage door. I did have some experience in meeting actors on broadway (I met Josh Groban for a few times), so I had a rough idea about what's gonna happen…I was less nervous than first-timers, I guess.
Before watching the show, I was a big fan of Legion. His performance really impressed me a lot so I also watched some other works of him, but I liked his appearances/costumes(?)(basically his looks) in Legion and Night at the Museum 3 the most (at that time). Then…I liked drawing sketches of people (though I wasn't very good at it…), so I decided to draw a brief sketch of the still from Legion and another one from NATM3, and planned to give them to him as a gift. And…I don't remember what I was thinking at that time, but I wrote a short letter on a greeting card, about how much I loved his performance in those shows/movies etcetc…then I added my instagram username at the sign-off (this was quite inappropriate…I won't ever do that again but 2 years ago I was just overly excited and immature I guess). So I put them in a gift box and carried it to the show.
During the whole performance all I did was looking at him (I brought a binoculars and my sight just followed him and only him lol), well, I tried to understand the plot but the unusual British accent (it's not the "common" British accent you could see in some tv shows) just drove me insane so I gave up in following the plot halfway (sorry!). When waiting at the stage door I was extremely nervous because there is a high possibility that some actors would choose to leave through another exit and not to do the signing when they had other things to deal with (that happened a few time to me, not only on broadway, but also in Met Opera), and normally the staff would tell the audience whether an actor will appear at the stage door or not, but sometimes they won't. So it largely depends on my luck.
Therefore when I saw him showing up at the door, my first reaction was "thank God…", rather than being starstruck. Then after a few seconds of telling myself "OK, this is happening, this is real, he is actually here" I just started to observe how he's signing other people's playbill and how he talked with people, and of course, how absolutely ANGELIC he looked. What really amazed me was how conflicted I felt: yes, he was breathtakingly GORGEOUS for sure, but on the other hand his "aura" was surprisingly down-to-earth and genial, like he's just an ordinary human being rather than a movie star. And in these brief moments when he's signing and chatting with fans, he always had a very genuine smile on his face. It's not my first time meeting celebrities, I would know it if they're just faking. (Well, it's possible that he's just very very good at it, but I don't care lol).
There weren't that many people at the stage door, I would say maybe 50? 70? I'm bad at estimating those so don't trust me. And the security divided the crowd into two groups, one on the left side of the door and one on the right. He started from the right side, and I thought he's gonna come to the left side later, but he didn't!!! (Maybe he's in a hurry? I had no idea) I saw that he seemed to be leaving and I was like NOOOO I'M NOT GIVING UP ON THIS so I exited the crowd and ran. Fortunately he didn't leave yet, he was talking with another audience (away from the crowd tho). So I waited for a few moments for them to finish the convo, then went in front of him, trying my best not to lose consciousness or my verbal communication ability (I'm not exaggerating!)
I supposed that he might be in a hurry so I spoke in the fastest way I could, about how amazing he was in this play (well, of course I won't tell him I didn't understand the plot at all lmao), and the gift I was giving him, he seemed to be quite surprised about it, I don't remember what exactly he said but I do remember him saying "Oh God" and a lot of "Thank you" (what's funny was that the way he said "Oh God" was quite similar to how he said the same thing in an interview about The Guest, when the host asked him to create an online dating profile for David lol), his soft voice and British accent (the one I was more familiar with, instead of the one in the play) just MELTED MY HEART 😭 good lord…I mean I watched quite a few interviews of him online and listened to some audiobooks too but in real life, from such close distance, it was totally different. Like, I mentioned earlier that I met Josh Groban a few times and I really loved his singing voice, but his speaking voice was rather normal, if compared to Dan's. Dan's voice was simply mesmerizing, like, his audiobooks are already charming enough but every time I recall the moment when he talked to me I just feel my whole being weakened (I'm not exaggerating!) (maybe I'm in too deep 😥)
Then, another thing that I could remember was, he was apparently taller than me. I was around 5'9-5'10, already taller than most of my friends, so it feels good meeting someone whom I had to raise my head a little bit to look at (and who was also unbelievably good-looking). The only thing that still saddens me is that I was too nervous or too afraid to look straightly into his eyes when talking with him. I probably caught a few glimpse at first, but currently I don't have very detailed memory of his facial expressions. Finally I asked him if I could take a photo with him and he gladly agreed. But I was so nervous at that moment that the angle of the lighting was absolutely terrible, I've tried using some editing app to improve it but they didn't really work 😣 Here is the photo…if anyone still wanted to see it lol.
Tumblr media
On my way back home I just couldn't stop replaying the conversation in my head over and over again while smiling like an idiot, it was like a dream. I remember in Black Mirror there was an episode where the protagonist could store his memories as videos which he could review, gosh I wish I had something like that. After the show I didn't think too much and just went on living my ordinary life, even though I included that letter/greeting card, I don't remember writing stuff like "looking forward to your reply" or something, and even if I did, he is an international movie star and he has no obligation to respond to some random fans, so I tried to keep myself busy and not taking it too seriously. But after two days…
Tumblr media
It happened. It really happened. I had to pinch myself and do the silliest reality check to make sure I wasn't dreaming. The first thing I did was taking a screenshot, so I won't click the wrong button and accidentally delete the message with no way to prove that I actually got his reply. Then I started to rack my brain to decide what should I write back, without sounding like a desperately infatuated fangirl, but I failed and still sounded like a crazy fangirl (so I prefer to hide my reply in this screenshot lol).
To be honest, it crossed my mind that there was a possibility that it might not be himself who sent the message, it could be his assistant or someone else (I heard that many celebs don't run their social medias by themselves, idk if that's the case here), but I'm still extremely happy. The smiling emoji made me feel like it's really him. If it really was him…gosh, how could a man be so perfect??? Possessing such unrivaled beauty while being THIS KINDHEARTED??? Jesus…
Anyways…that's my memory, I'm sorry that I unconsciously wrote sooooo long (1600 words, MS Office said…), but I hope that you enjoyed reading it 😊 Even though I now realized I only love him as an actor and his roles, not exactly himself, if I could get another chance to meet him, I would still do it. Because knowing that such angelic-looking human being really exists, always made me regain some hope for humanity. (Just kidding XD)
20 notes · View notes
nochiquinn · 2 years
Text
campaign 3 episode 22: laser brain
oh for the love of god
oh no ashley's trapped in the skype dimension again
can't believe ashley's just on a macbook screen and the camera is zoomed in on her
"the leisure suit larry remake I didn't know I didn't want"
god I want that thing
"are you a medium?" "I….could make it work"
love every time they talk about cad taliesin just goes "yeahhhh" in The Voice
"you're doing so good! and the pigtails are Working"
the sprinkle voice in between matt trying to start the episode
I said this during the 4sd liveblog but I have an actual keyboard and it's so comfy to use?? like I'm still getting used to like the different key weight or whatever but in general it's really nice
sorry I just went without a decent Typing Device for so long I'm really happy
does ashley have a thing making her bg match the lighting in the studio??
she DOES
"I don't steal, I just borrow. for a long time." "how many things have you brought back?" "...oh…"
"only steal from grumpy people" "anybody can be grumpy if you try hard enough"
nothing is ever happening in ashton's head
it's not a static ball fearne
or maybe it is, what do I know
"it is a smooth - " "criminal"
welp I guess it is
I missed her
[pops up like a finding nemo seagull] lore? lore? ashton lore?
"it's a desert. ask your parents."
Blurry Fearne
is it allura
play a haunting violin refrain
"have you seen these hands? they're like ballet feet"
put fcg inside the family kill circle
dislike
fcg starts an automaton union
I love one (1) robot
I had to step away for an extended period of time, apparently I missed Some Shit
525,600 minutes
oh no the robe is gonna get all nasty on the inside
oh damn
the 4sd song is still so good, wtf
I can never tell how old stephen actually is until I see him without his glasses
he's also stopped dying his hair, that helps too
orym always looks apprehensive, that's just his face
"which one of us can read"
I thought ribbons and fearne were assumed
marisha
laura do it
do it
taliesin: I'm going to die
yessssss
"honored end" with his dick out
"she sounds loaded" "kind of pricky to be honest"
VAX'AHLIA
"I stood in the corner"
"they were different episodes"
love them freaking out over the map
"try not to stand out too much" he says to the gnome, the dead lady, the robot, the faun, the shiny rock person, and the lady with purple hair
orym only stands out if anyone looks down
"sometimes it spins on the way down to a fiery death"
cookies from revolution grandpa for the plane ride
"I was told there would be no rolling"
am I the only one picturing Xavier's School from the original Xmen trilogy or
orym staring a hole through chetney
"you think he's a mass murderer?"
"it's always the nice ones"
"I had plenty of that before" he did kill santa
matt please drop rocks on these children
he's thinking about it
I love marwa so fucking much
Murder Apron
that's an scp
PORTABLE HOLE
Caleb's Produce Flame
lore? lore? ashton lore?
DUNAMIS JUICE???
DID THEY GET REINCARNATIONED OR WHATEVER THE WORD IS FOR IT
IS ASHTON A BEACON
ashton beacon theory supremacy
oh no I'm gonna cry
yeah there I go
6 notes · View notes
inchronicpain · 2 years
Text
(i have too many wips as it is but fuck what about a—)
@iwigyousub
Billy Hargrove Lives + Tokyo Ghoul-esque AU + Everything Gets Worse Before It Gets Better wherein (excuse my messy rough outline which may change in the future and meh writing):
(( violence , self-harm below the cut! take care, darlings ))
the Mind Flayer injects a little bit of itself in Billy everyday but it's incomplete so, when Hopper and Joyce close the gate, Owen's people found out he's still alive, heart slow and loosing too much blood, but alive.
Max, tears dripping down her face, suddenly surges up to the closest medical officer, demands for them to 'save my brother!'
they did.
(but once Billy wakes up, two weeks later, he wishes they didn't, a fucking tentacle coming from his back--)
(Billy hates, hates, hates how he became a monster, in the end, his worst fears becoming a reality)
Billy, panicked and still convince he's still under him, lashes out and destroys everything his--his--the things can reach
Wakes up with a sobbing Max and a shaken El, the Chief and Harrington blurry figures behind them
Max reassuring him over and over, as he sobs in the middle of the night in a shitty hospital bed that first week after he wakes up, that 'no, you're not a monster, you may have done shitty things but you're not a monster, you're my brother, okay-'
El going to his hospital bed every day and telling him how he 'saved her, saved everyone that night,' and that he's 'a bitchin' hero--'
the fucking Chief of Police checking up on him whenever the doctors make Billy take tests for the--the fucking things behind his back
Harrington stumbling inside and honest-to-god rambling about nothing and everything all at once
(he doesn't tell them how he stabs at the things with a pen a nurse had left behind, watching with blank eyes as they healed. he both welcomes and loathes the pain, proof he's changed to this)
Which makes Billy want to hurl and scream and cry whenever he sees the four of them coming back because can't they see he's a monster now the voice that had whispered inside his mind was right--
(and i noticed how it got long so. yippee, shortened version!!)
Billy struggles with these new appendages, slowly grudgingly painstakingly mostly-accepting them because he'll always loathe how he got them from it
El helping him control them with Max, the Chief, and Harrington in the background, coaxing him to take breaks in between and calming him down (the other nerds joining in after he apologizes to them, to Sinclair most especially)
(oh and Neil was flayed too because fuck him)
(and Heather [<3] wasn't flayed! [i'll add her in here somewhere because we need more of her])
He doesn't like using them so, once he can properly move them, he tucks them away
(until he sees a cat stuck in a tree, like a fuckin' cliche--! and, before he knows it, the furball's purring up a storm clutched in the tentac--)
(and the shitnerds going 'awesome' which. okay. makes him feel better, not by much but. okay. he's okay, tension he didn't he had loosening from his shoulders)
Billy, Steve, and Robin starting to hang out, awkward first but then Billy learns Robin has good taste in movies and Steve has shit taste and movie night at Steve's happens every other week
Once, he's out of the hospital, he's given a small trailer beside Max's new place
Susan, who looks like a weight had lifted from her shoulders once Neil was gone, cries her sorries and prepares him food when she's not at work
Billy doesn't know how to feel about that so he avoids her (which is not that difficult because he mostly crashes at Steve's place now because he didn't want to be alone--)
Max and El start having sleepovers at La Casa Harrington, the other gremlins joining soon after they learned this new development
Steve is Exasperated TM (but Billy notices how Steve seems less tense when other people are around)
But, when he goes back to the trailer, Billy notices Eddie from across the street in the trailer home park, nods to him once in a while because he's blasting Metallica and Ozzy during some of the afternoons Billy's there
aaand i'm stopping here sghf i know the general outline for this now tho!! i just need time and motivation to write it sdfjg
4 notes · View notes
allisonlol · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
a/n: @osamudazaisbaby yes ofc! i’m a sucker for situations like these so i adore this request <3 i went & added chuuya as well if that’s alright t(>.<t)
warnings: somewhat graphic descriptions of blood, major injuries, & violence. these are a bit angsty but i gave them all good (ish) endings !!
(Dazai, Fyodor, Chuuya)
Tumblr media
Dazai Osamu
dazai always made sure to accompany you on missions so he could “keep an eye” on you
obviously he knows you don’t always need protecting but it’s more for his own peace of mind
this time in particular the two of you had been dispatched to take down a small enemy group hideout containing about six people
it should’ve been an easy in and out mission,,,if it weren’t for one member who had a rather vicious ability
at one point during the fight you were slammed into the concrete wall of a nearby building
this put you in a pretty critical state by giving you a dislocated shoulder and fractured rib
you also assumed you’d gotten some kind of concussion because your eyesight kept fading & going wavy
due to the positioning of the enemy, dazai was unable to get to you right away
through your blurry vision you could see how his eyes widened & his face grew pale after seeing what had happened
“i’m…fine…” you tried to call to him but it came out more like a broken whisper
dazai radioed for some backup and did his best to keep the enemy distracted from you until help arrived
during the fight he kept glancing over at you and it was taking a lot of self control to stop himself from sprinting over to your weakened form
once help arrived and the enemy was finally out of commission, dazai was at your side in an instant with paramedics right behind him
he looks like he’s about to cry :( he holds your hand tightly in the ambulance and you can feel him shaking slightly
blames himself for the whole situation and not being able to keep you safe
“i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you, belladonna…i would’ve never let you go on that mission with me if i’d known”
once at the hospital they pop your shoulder back into place (ouch) then treat the concussion & fractured rib
you’ll be on bed rest for awhile and dazai is right by your side the entire time
he keeps trying to apologize but every time you stop him to reassure him that NONE of what happened was his fault and that you are doing much better now
he’s going to be so clingy for the next few weeks,,,it’s like y’all are attached at the hip 😭
swears up & down to himself that he’ll never let you get hurt like that again
Tumblr media
Fyodor Dostoevsky
fyodor was always hesitant about letting you assist with his work for this exact reason
he knew you could be targeted & used as a tool against him which is why it was so risky
he’s so protective it’s almost yandere-ish in a way (not that you’re complaining,,,)
but this ONE TIME he let you help him in a more minor part of his planning, figuring you’d be safe
for once he’d actually assumed wrong 😶
the two of you had taken separate cars to circulate near an enemy base, just to asses the situation for later use
everything was going smoothly at first, and you scoped out the area from inside the car, jotting down coordinates and what not
however, as you were finishing up and driving away from the base, your tires were blown out which resulted in your car spinning out of control
you crashed into a guardrail and the car rolled onto its side, then upside down. the whole thing happened in a matter of seconds and you were left dazed, bleeding from where your head had hit the steering wheel
the enemies who had blew your tires started approaching your flipped car, but they were stopped when fyodor’s car pulled up next to them
you watch through your cracked windshield as he gets out of his car. he honestly appears unfazed and calm, but inside he’s seething with a barely contained rage
fyodor makes short work of the enemies, killing them instantly & effortlessly
he pries open the door to your totaled car, helping you out and wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you steady
you cling onto him, still woozy from hitting your head. blood trickles down your face, and fyodor watches it drip onto the ground with narrowed eyes
“i’m deeply sorry for getting you involved with all this, my dear” he carries you to his own car & gently sets you down in the backseats
he doesn’t say much else after that, and drives you home to receive proper medical treatment
while fyodor appears as cold and collected as usual, his mind is racing with all kinds of thoughts including the fear of how he’d almost lost you
he’ll only become even more protective after this, so don’t be expecting to help him with ANY kind of outside tasks again,,, 🥲
Tumblr media
Chuuya Nakahara
oh lord here we go
so basically you’d been kidnapped by a (pretty irrelevant) organization and they were trying to use you for ransom
which is so so stupid considering this means CHUUYA AND THE PORT MAFIA is gonna be after them
during your involuntary stay with the organization they’d kept you in an underground cell
& beat you pretty badly a few times to make you more,,,compliant
you’re usually a good fighter but…not against ten others at once while also being restrained 😟
as soon as chuuya got the memo that you were being held hostage he was speeding over there on his motorcycle
he is SO LIVID
and really worried too :(
gin wanted to come along to help save you but he declined her assistance in favor of personally killing everyone who’d hurt you himself
as soon as he reaches the facility that you’re at he’s kicking down the door and murdering EVERYONE in sight
goes on an absolute rampage and even after all the enemies are dead he’s still fuming
that is until he finds you in your cell
you’re all bloody and bruised up from being beaten
not to mention it’s FREEZING down there so your lips are blue & ur shaking from the cold
chuuya breaks the chains holding you and gives you his jacket to wear
he looks so heartbroken seeing you like this, and his hands are shaking while he helps you up and out of the building
he doesn’t say much on the ride back to the mafia base but as soon as the two of you are home the words just SPILL out of him
he’s apologizing and asking if you’re okay and grilling you on everything that happened…
after patching you up you feel pretty much fine except for some cuts/bruising, and you have to keep reassuring him that you’re safe now bc he saved you
he’ll nod at your words but you’ll see him staring off & thinking about how he should’ve protected you in the first place…etc
this boy is so precious omg. he’s gonna feel bad and be super gentle to you until you make a full recovery :(
a/n: ahh i loved writing this !! also are u guys proud that i’m posting at a normal time and not,,,4am
song i listened to while writing: devil i know by allie x
Tumblr media
Thank you!
2K notes · View notes
highdramas · 3 years
Text
the world’s a little blurry | b.b.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
warnings: none
word count: 2107
summary: bucky is home, and he is yours
note: this is a one shot for now, but i definitely have more ideas for these two <3 this’ll be heavily inspired by tfatws so this is a spoiler warning for anything mentioned! also this is my first time writing bucky so pleaseeeeee give me some mercy lol
enjoy! <3
Tumblr media
it’s nearly three in the morning, and you’re lucky if you stay up past midnight, so bucky makes a point to be quiet as he tiptoes into the apartment. after a mission gone awry in the apartment building where you had been neighbors, you’ve been staying with the superhero. something about not losing you and you’re safest here. bucky’s not stupid— caring about someone is a gamble, and it had become clear to his enemies who exactly it was that he cared about.
living with you came lots of things that bucky was not expecting. first off, you’re very cluttered. you call it controlled chaos, he calls it a mess. he’s fascinated by the state of your night stand, mostly. a dying plant and one loose airpod, two half empty water bottles, an empty starbucks cup.
second off, you have a cat. her name is katherine, but you call her kitty, occasionally kiki. and while bucky had been determined not to get attached, after awhile, it was difficult not to. she rubbed up on his legs, cuddled in his lap on the couch, slept on his chest in the middle of the night. she’s fucking adorable, and not even the winter soldier can deny that.
third off… you. you as a whole. he’s sure that it would’ve been a shock living with anyone, but the care that you give him… he’s not used to having someone making sure he’s eating. he’s not used to someone checking up on him throughout the day. he’s not used to having someone to come home to.
it’s nice.
it feels safe.
and he’ll kill anyone who tries to take this peace away from him.
bucky groans as he shucks his jacket off, feeling exactly where his muscles ache. he tries to keep his volume minimal. finally, he opens the door to the bedroom. the bedroom that you share.
this was the biggest adjustment of all.
he’d barely slept in a bed at all before you came along. too soft, too comfortable. he told you as much that first night, and what you had said shocked him.
“well, i’ll just sleep on the floor with you.”
no, oh, just get in bed. no, c’mon, it’s nice. none of those things. just understanding.
but it was more than understanding. it was meeting him exactly where he was.
that was three months ago, and you had kept your word. if you weren’t sleeping on the floor with him, you were on the couch with your hand tangling down, brushing along his hair, his shoulder. every time he felt you bucky swore that he could cry.
it was two months ago that he suggested you both sleep in the bed. and while it wasn’t every night, and some nights he padded out to the living room with a blanket and pillow… it was progress.
and he would wake up to find that you had joined him on the floor.
the nightmares weren’t gone. he’s not sure if they ever would be. but they were growing few and farer between, and the ones he did have were growing more manageable.
things were getting better.
of course, they were not perfect. and he knew that you didn’t expect them to be. he has therapy once a week, sometimes twice during the particularly hard weeks. he’s grown close with sam and his family. and… you.
his girl.
as the door creaks open, he almost chuckles at the sight of you. you’re laying horizontally across the bed, taking up both your side and bucky’s. katherine is curled in at your chest, her nose nearly touching yours. your mouth is open and he can see that there’s a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth, and that does make him laugh. it stirs you and he freezes.
bucky watches as you slowly wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and then rubbing the drool from your mouth. “ew,” you mumble, still half asleep, and bucky leans in the doorway wearing a smirk.
“go back to sleep, doll.”
you hum and stretch, and so does katherine, giving a wide yawn. “you’re home.”
home.
had he ever had a home before? 
he did once, as a child. a time that feels so distant, so separate from the life that he leads now. sometimes, it’s hard to even picture the faces of his family members.
he had this apartment, but it never felt like home. not until you waltzed into it with your clutter and your laughter and your vibrancy. not until you cooked dinner hip to hip, not until you listened to music that he had never heard of, not until you watched some movie that was your favorite.
you’re home.
bucky smiles and he nods, sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing your hair back. “i’m home,” he says quietly. “i’m sorry i’m so late.”
you shake your head, your hand taking his. he still wears the gloves. you raise your eyebrows at him. “can i?”
he nods. you make quick work of removing each of his gloves, tossing them across the room, which makes bucky smile. he knows he’ll be picking those up in the morning. you press a kiss to his palm, the one that is flesh and bone. and then you take the other and do the same. “missed you, buck.”
something in his heart constricts as he watches you-- washed in moonlight that comes in through the window, sleepy smile on your face, eyes fixed on him. he knows that look, and he knows what it means. he doesn’t know if he deserves it, but he tries. he’ll always try for you.
“i wasn’t even gone twenty four hours,” the smirk is evident in his tone even if you can’t see it, but you scoff and roll your eyes. “i think you’re needy.”
“needy!” you repeat and laugh, falling back onto the pillow. kitty stirs and looks up at bucky, letting out a loud meow. “she’s the needy one. look at her.”
“both of you.” he scratches kitty’s head and then kisses the top of yours before he stands again. “i’m gonna shower.”
sleep is escaping you and you push yourself up onto your palms. “can i join you?”
he chews on the inside of his cheek and shrugs his shoulders innocently. “better pick up the pace then, soldier.”
with a laugh, you kick the sheets off of you. “yes sir.”
he rolls his eyes and you both shuffle into the bathroom. now, in the light, you’re able to get a good look at him. and your jaw drops slightly at what you see. “bucky,” you say and he already knows what’s coming. you touch the side of his face where a bruise is blossoming. “how the hell does this even happen?”
“part of the gig.”
you groan and he smiles and he does so because he loves you. he loves your mess and he loves your doting, he loves your cat and he loves coming home to see that you’ve taken up the entire bed. “you’re an old man. one of these days you’re gonna have to retire.”
“got unfinished business first.”
you know of his past. of course you do. although, you’re a firm believer that it’s not his past, rather than a past that was decided for him against his will. you’ve made a point of making your stance in that clear. you have heard stories of what bucky has done, but you have tutted and shaken your head. “what hydra did.”
these are the things that bucky tells himself, but it is different to hear it from someone else. someone who is not steve, or sam, or another avenger who has also committed morally grey acts. because, yes, they are all good and trustworthy and worth listening to-- but you. you are his girl. you are his girl who laughs at his jokes and teases him and never once babies him for what happened to him, but you’re also the girl who has woken him from nightmares, who has tended to his wounds, who has been held back from a fight just to defend his honor. you have seen him in his entirety, and you have never balked.
“alright, well--” it’s not lost on you how his eyes trail down your body as you undress, turning on the water and checking the temperature. “as soon of this business of yours is finished…”
“i know.”
the two of you share a look and he gives a crooked grin. “you look nice.”
“there’s dried drool on my face.”
“yeah, i know.”
it’s been nearly a year since you met james buchanan barnes and yet he still gets you to blush. he practically lights up at the sight of the color on your cheeks. “are you--”
“shut up and get in the shower,” you retort, pulling back the curtain and stepping into the steaming water.
“yes, ma’am.” you hear the shuffling of his clothes falling to the floor and then he is behind you, hands going up and down your arms. you let out a sigh and tilt your head back, peering up at him. water trails down his nose, dripping off and onto your forehead.
you don’t tell bucky, but you do worry. you worry every second that he’s gone on a mission. you know that you don’t have to say it, that he knows. and you trust that he will come home to you. bucky turns you and he holds your face in his hands and he presses his lips to yours and you know that he feels the same way.
i’ll always come back is spelled out in the way that he kissed you, the way that he holds the back of your head. we have forever is heaved from your lungs as he sucks the air from you.
when you part, you smile at his lips-- slightly swollen, pinker than normal. you rub your thumb along the bottom one and he catches your hand. he presses it on his chest, right where his heart hides beneath skin and bone. “you don’t have to do all of this to make up for what they did to you,” you say over the sound of water. “you’re allowed to have a normal life, if you want it.”
“i know.” he pushes a piece of wet hair from your face. “i just don’t--” he shakes his head and you know this all too well-- he doesn’t quite know what to say, he starts closing up and off and away, the high walls that guard his heart and mind beginning to take shape. “i feel like if i don’t… what was it all for?”
delicate hands move across his torso. you lather up a loofah and begin washing away blood and grime. “bucky,” you say and he looks at you, steely blue eyes staring right into yours. “you make people happy. you have people who love you, who care for you. you don’t owe the world reparations.”
he winces as you go over a particular bruise and you slow your movements, make them featherlight. “all i know is,” you begin. “whatever it is you want, whatever it is that fulfills your life… make sure it’s for you.”
a smile curls on his face and he stills your hands. “thank you.” he takes the loofah from you. “let me get you.”
“but i’m not done--”
“please. let me.”
you surrender and he begins to wash you, and your forehead falls to his shoulder, calm washing over your body. you could’ve been standing there for minutes or hours, you’re unsure. he pushes your hair back and at some point you realize that he is washing your hair, and you press gently open mouthed kisses against his chest and you hear his breath catch and you fall in love with him all over again.
“let me get yours--” you mumble around a yawn and you watch as he smirks down at you. “really, let me.”
bucky shakes his head and he turns the water off. “tomorrow,” he says.
you towel off and when you clamber into bed, you feel the weight of him beside you, your cat nestled between the both of you. you feel him pull you into him, his breath against your neck and his lips against your pulse point, and your eyes flutter shut. before sleep captures you, you murmur, “i love you, james bucky barnes.”
the feeling of his smile against your skin is imprinted on your heart, and his words coax you into sleep-- “i love you too, doll.”
bucky barnes sleeps through the night and doesn’t wake once.
2K notes · View notes
teklarn · 3 years
Note
hi, this is my first ever ask so I'm not sure I'm doing this correctly, if that's the case I'm sorry; I don't know how tumblr works just yet >:')
would it be possible for you to write something about bakugo, pining incredibly hard for fem!reader and initially hating how strongly he feels about her? because they're not even friends, they only exchange few words occasionally and she doesn't even glance at his way whereas he slowly finds himself unable to divert his eyes from her during classes? shes always with damn deku and his friends and doesn't even seem interested in him at all but his heart can't ignore the way she looks at him proudly whenever they spar together, the way she sends him small confident smiles as they fight each other with all they have; so he thinks that maybe, maybe he might have a chance. basically bakugo liking reader so much he's completely lost in self-hatred because he always thought feelings were for weak romantics and not great people like him, but everytime he sees reader doing some badass things (again, like sparring with him and basically matching his skills etc...) he's reminded of how badly he likes reader? but when he finally accepts he's fallen for reader, after ignoring and trying to forget about how she makes him feel, he masters up the courage to confess? and it's a very clumsy confession because he's awkward and has no idea how to deal with those feelings? and he tries so hard to make reader realise he's never been more serious than now? and reader is startled and speechless before rejecting him? and at that point he's just completely humiliated, so he nods and walks away.
it might be a little dramatic but I've always been into unrequited love and one-sided pining. thank you, its okay if you don't want to write about this, i'll understand <33
𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾
character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader (my hero academia) 
reblogs are greatly appreciated! 
a/n: AHHHHH this is so cute <33 honestly this is super exciting for me and this ask made me so happy, lovey. i’m fairly new to tumblr, i’m usually just a reader but i wanted to migrate here from wattpad so this made me so happy. here u are my love <33 i hope this lives up to what u wanted !! :)) a bit lengthy, but i had a lot of fun writing it !!! 
summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 
genre: fluffy, fluffier than the clouds istg, however the clouds are sprinking a little teeny weeny droplet of angst. 
warnings: cursing (bakugou, duhh), one-sided pining (on bakugou’s part) second hand embarrassment (on bakugou’s part bc we can all agree he’s a complete idiot when it comes to trying to get someone’s attention), just bakugou being a jackass, i gave the reader a quirk 
word count: 3,859 
(pls excuse any typos or mistakes, i edited to the best of my ability but i miss some things sometimes !) 
- - - 
part 2 is here my loves <3
brutal. it was utterly ruthless. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think right. his hands were already exceptionally sweaty, but gosh when he saw your damn face, he was ready to explode. literally. 
what the hell was it about you? was it your stupid smile? or the way you just seemed to carry every battle on your back? was it all the undeniably sweet things you do for others ‘just because’? 
it made him angry that he thought about you, but gosh he couldn’t wait to see you every day. 
just like any other day, bakugou found himself staring at the large door to the classroom, awaiting the moment you would bounce into his day, skirt shifting around your legs, bag slung loosely around your shoulders. 
his leg was bouncing eagerly. 
bakugou didn’t know when the feelings came. his cheeks just started flaring up all of a sudden and one day you just looked...different. you hadn’t done anything different to yourself. it was just him. not that he would ever admit that, to you or anybody else. 
you were insufferable. you were stupid and obnoxious and so...so damn... 
“y/n! come look at this!” 
you’d come walking into class just as expected, and as soon as you did, that stupid nerd had called you over. 
it didn’t help that deku sat right behind him, either. the two of you had recently gotten closer. bakugou noticed it last month when he yelled at the two of you to shut up about all might and get to work. he’d turned around to find you leaning over deku, hands resting on his shoulders while you peered at his phone. 
“sorry, bakugou,” you’d said, barely acknowledging him. you had waved him off like an annoying fly. is that all you were to him? some nuisance that got in the way of your oh-so-entertaining conversations with deku? 
all he heard nearly every day was your chipper voice talking to deku. always, “oh my gosh, midoriya, did you see the fight edgeshot was in last night?” or “midoriya! i have something to add to our quirk analysis book!” 
that was the one that took the cake. you two dorks shared a notebook, occasionally passed between one another, and filled it with junk about quirks and pro heroes. but no matter how much he tried to tune you out, no matter how he tried to zone off and think about something else, you were always there. it made him want to vomit how much he thought about you. 
you were doing an adorable shuffle over to midoriya’s desk and leaned over the table as you usually did while he angled his phone your way. “did you see this hero report?” 
deku let you slip the phone out of his grasp to get a better look. 
“no,” you breathed. “was this just recent?” 
“yeah,” deku said, taking the phone back. “last night.” 
“holy—” 
“can you guys shut up over there?” bakugou said, his voice quaking. 
“sorry, kacchan.” deku scrolled through the article. 
dammit, bakugou thought. “i wasn’t talking to you, nerd. i was talking to shitface over here.” he jerked his head towards you. his eyes flared in anger when he saw you were looking down at your phone, now focused in on the article yourself. “i was talking to you, asshat!” 
your eyes flicked up to his. you looked around for a moment before slowly pointing to yourself as if to say, “me?” 
his face scrunched. “yeah, you. you’re so damn loud.” gosh, he hated how his voice was cracking, how he could feel his ears and cheeks lighting up in a swollen, cherry red. his stomach flipped. 
she’s looking at you, gosh i’m sweating. i’m going to throw up. she’s so gorgeous. what the hell? they’re ugly as shit, i don’t think anything of them. 
his eyes bore into yours. 
“did you...need something?” 
your voice broke his trance. 
“kacchan, are you okay? you dozed off there for a second. you look like you’re burning up.” 
bakugou looked to deku who was currently stretching out of his seat, arm extended. he pressed the back of his hand to bakugou’s forehead. “you’re really warm, kacchan. should we call recovery girl?” 
it took him a moment to realize what was happening. his vision got blurry every time he was with you. bakugou smacked deku’s hand away. “i’m fine!” his voice lifted at the end, cracking. “i’m not sick. don’t you think i’d take better care of myself?” 
“i don’t doubt you take good care of yourself, kacchan, but everyone gets sick once in a while. there’s nothing wrong with that.” 
“i never get sick!” besides, if i got sick, i wouldn’t want you to be the one taking care of me. 
he was still pissed. he was always in a bad mood, however, more so right now because you’d gone straight back to your phone and that stupid hero article that was supposedly so damn interesting. 
soon enough, the bell rang, and you were seated at your desk. it was jirou’s old spot, however, after much convincing, you two had switched spots so you could be closer to deku. just a few months of getting close to the idiot and you two are suddenly best friends. jirou hadn’t minded one tiny bit, claiming she needed a break from how loud that section of the room was. 
late as always, aizawa came trudging into your room. thankfully, his entire body wasn’t obscured by a yellow sleeping bag that smelled of something unwashed and coffee and gasoline. (for some reason, aizawa’s clothes always smelled of it.) 
“lucky for you,” he began while shuffling papers on his desk, “all of you are doing training for these first periods.”
the class cheered in perfect unison, followed by their individual chatter. you had erupted with glee along with them, and bakugou was sure he felt his heart clench and then explode. just a tiny bit. but he shoved the feeling down just as quickly as it had come up. 
“go out to the field and wait for further instructions. don’t make a sound in the halls otherwise, i’ll expel all of you.” 
this shut everyone up in almost a second, the sound draining out just as water does. the first years trailed out into the hall, single-file mimicking the positions baby ducklings would take when following their mother. 
bakugou found himself walking faster when he saw you take up your spot in the line, hoping to land his spot right behind you. 
unfortunately, this idiot who considered himself bakugou’s friend tugged him back. “bakugou!” a familiar voice rasped. 
“shitty hair, let go of me.” 
“hey man, chill out. wanna partner up if we’re doing training in pairs?” 
bakugou glanced at the line, the spot that should have been reserved for him now taken up by sato. 
bakugou tugged his sleeve from kirishima’s hand. “whatever,” he snapped. 
“sounds good!” kirishima flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. the bubbly feeling in bakugou’s chest died down as he stood behind sato, the overwhelming scent of sugar filling his nose, various candies that would go straight to your arteries. 
“you smell like ass, damn,” bakugou remarked, squeezing his nostrils together. 
luckily, sato was tall enough to not hear the insult, as he towered over bakugou by just another head. the line began moving like a sloppy train down to the change rooms. 
bakugou scoffed as he listened to your giggle. he should be making you laugh. 
“you’ll be given partners randomly from this box.” aizawa held up a familiar red box. “inside are all your names. i’ll select one, then that person will come up and pick another name from the box. that will be your assigned partner for today. as soon as you have your assigned partner, i want you guys to get straight to work.” 
denki raised a hand, speaking before being called on. “sensei, why are we getting random partners? we’re always allowed to choose.” 
“in the real world, you’re going to come across different villains every day. you’ll never improve your skills or your quirks if you keep fighting the same person.” 
denki sighed, slumping back. 
dammit, bakugou thought, gritting his teeth together. there wasn’t any way he wanted to be partners with you. it’s obvious he’d win the fight in the first few seconds. 
yes! exactly right! bakugou internally grinned. his fluctuating feelings had finally soothed themselves. you were just another extra, and he had no room for you in his head. 
aizawa took a moment to fiddle with the slips of paper inside the box. soon enough, he pulled out a name. “todoroki.” 
todoroki walked up, digging his hand into the box when aizawa held it out for him. he pulled out a name, delicately unraveling the slip. “uraraka, you’re my partner.” he deadpanned. 
the brunette grinned. “great!” 
the two found their own spot on the field, and the class’s attention was once again diverted to their grouchy teacher as he pulled out another name. 
“bakugou.” 
bakugou strutted up without a worry in his mind. he pulled a name to find... 
“y/n,” he said, voice a low growl. instead of the annoying fluttering in his chest, his eyes met yours, and they were filled with a different, new ferocity. he crumpled the paper in one hand, letting it twirl to the ground. 
you looked at him, unsmiling. your eyes gave away nothing, and to bakugou’s knowledge, all you saw in him was another opponent. 
it took him a moment to realize you had both locked eyes for about a minute. perhaps the two of you would have stayed as you were if aizawa hadn’t snapped at the two of you to get moving as yaomomo’s name was called. 
bakugou was on his way to the back of the field, you followed close behind. while there was plenty of room still, he chose a secluded area. while it was still open enough to view everything going on so nobody got hurt, it was often nobody chose to train here. for whatever reason, you weren’t sure. 
“wait up, bakugou,” you said. after a bit, you caught up to him. 
“if you can’t keep up, then...” then what? he looked at you from the side of his eye. “then don’t keep up...” gosh, here came the embarrassing, disgusting feeling of redness in his cheeks. 
you laughed. “what?” 
“shut up.” 
“you’re an idiot, bakugou.” 
“i said shut the hell up!”
“what, so you can call me shitface in front of the entire class but you get all pissed when i call you an idiot?” 
so you had heard him! 
he tongued his cheek, curling his hands around an invisible ball, explosions sparking in the centers of his palms. “don’t expect me to hold back, dumbass.” 
“i wouldn’t dream of it.” 
gosh he loved that about you. 
bakugou caught his thought in the air. 
ahem...gosh he hated that about you. 
you both charged in at the same time. his cry was louder than yours, but you struck first. 
he admired your quirk. while he’d overhead you explaining all the drawbacks it had, it was strong, and you were strong because you knew how to control it. 
purple arrows flew from your arms, going in your desired directions. if you lost focus for one moment, they’d vanish and weaken. if you focused too hard or long, you’d be plagued by a splitting headache. 
he’d spent too much time obsessing over your strengths and weaknesses.  
your arrows were weightless, however they were solid objects capable of carrying any mass, any thing, and worked as extensions of your body. 
the violet arrow had shot out at him, twisting around his right gauntlet and crushing inwards. it’d snaked around him without him noticing, slithering along his back. 
bakugou struggled to get the air-light arrow off his wrist, but it was no use. he glared back, only to see your focused, furrowed brows. he’d expected to see your cocky ass smiling. it was nice to see you weren’t. 
that was one thing that had also caught his eye. you never underestimate your opponent, but you never underestimate yourself, either. 
you conjured a larger arrow. it snaked around your right arm as you hurled bakugou into the air, releasing your grasp on him. you shot your other arrow into the air, and it raced into the sky. 
it swerved. bakugou’s eyes went wide as the tip of the arrow came down on his chest. if they weren’t intangible things, he would have been bleeding out. 
another drawback: the arrows, while they could solidify, they couldn’t do any actual damage. you had to use your surroundings to inflict harm on your opponent. 
he coughed out as the arrow shot him into the ground. he hadn’t even touched you, and here he was, vulnerable and so...so... 
you stood over him, hands on your hips. 
vulnerable and so lost in that adorable, winning smile. 
“get away from me, idiot,” he grunted and turned onto his side, his back crying out in pain. 
“i think i won this fight, bakugou,” you chirped, rocking on your heels. 
“don’t get arrogant, shithead. you won’t be winning against me anymore.” 
you grinned, arrows shooting out behind your back. 
the dorms were exceptionally quiet. you were typing away in the common room, bakugou on the couch reading. everyone was off doing something else. it was the weekend, luckily. he’d expected you to go bounding out with everyone else, however you’d stayed back, claiming you had some homework to catch up on. 
bakugou being classic bakugou had stayed back. he was excited to have the dorm to himself, but your dumbass was stuck here with him. couldn’t you have done your typing in your room? 
you were so aggressive on that poor keyboard. 
“oi, quiet down with your shit typing.” 
you barely grunted in response. 
“don’t ignore me.” 
“i heard you, mom.” 
“the hell did you call me?” 
no response. only your aggressive typing is a bit less aggressive. 
“i can still hear it,” bakugou remarked, eyes fixed on your back. 
“‘kay,” you said. your typing slowed a tad, and your pressure on the keys lessened. 
it was quiet now. bakugou should go back to his book. he shouldn’t still be looking for a reason to talk to you. 
the pages crinkled in his fingers. he bit his tongue, keeping his snarky comments in. 
“you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? doing your damn homework. it’s due tomorrow.” 
you turned, pursing your lips. “and how would you know what i’m working on? are you stalking me?” 
“i- what? no. you’re such an idiot, of course i’m not—” 
“i’m messing with you,” you breathed, face un-moving. 
“o-oh,” bakugou stuttered out. he blinked awkwardly. 
“gosh, what’s gotten your panties in a twist?” 
“you’re annoying.” 
“you’re a jackass.” you returned to your work. bakugou settled with reading in his room. reading consisted of jumping onto his bed just as the stereotypical high school girl would in an eighties movie. he buried his face in his pillow, face burning bright red. he cursed you for making him feel this way, and hated himself even more for how much he enjoyed it. 
the next day came swiftly. you’d left early to go train with midoriya. there were many improvements needed to be made, but you weren’t doing too bad.
you propelled yourself forwards with an arrow, and your green-haired friend shot back, lightning flickering around his body. 
landing back on the ground, you panted and swiped the sweat from your brow. from the corner of your eye, you could make out both kirishima and bakugou coming to the training grounds. 
bakugou stopped in his tracks, frowning at the sight of you. 
it was evident he hated you a bit more than everyone else. he was always making his annoying comments, he was always snubbing you. you saw no reason to talk to him, so you didn’t. either way, even if you tried, he would still get angry for no reason. 
it’d taken you quite some time to get used to his obnoxious attitude. tuning him out had been the best course of action, in your opinion. 
the way you and midoriya had bonded was through bakugou, in a way. the first day of school, bakugou had snapped at you for tripping over your laces and nearly crashing into him. later that day, midoriya had stepped up and apologized for his old friend’s actions. 
you two had never been too close until now. the recent incidents going on with the league of villains had snagged your attention, and it seemed you were the only person who didn’t mind listening to him ramble on about heroes. 
you were just as passionate and just as dorky, but midoriya could talk your ear off. you never minded, and he always took the hint when you didn’t want to listen. 
you brought your leg up, twirling in the air with ease and watched your heel collide with midoriya’s face. he grunted, stumbling back. 
you were about to charge in again when a hand landed on your shoulder, big and rough. you turned to see bakugou standing behind you, a scowl on his face. 
“fight me again,” he demanded. 
“excuse me?” 
“don’t act like you didn’t hear me.” 
“i’m in the middle of fighting midoriya right now.” 
“so?”
“so if you think that i’m just going to ditch my friend because you want to fight, i won’t.” 
“you’re being stubborn.” 
“i’m being reasonable. back off.” 
“y/n?” midoriya rubbed his jaw—right where you had struck him. “what’s going on?” he jogged up to you and bakugou. 
“he wants to fight me in the middle of our fight. it’s nothing serious. don’t worry about it, midoriya. let’s just ignore him.” 
bakugou made a sound someone would only make if they were choking. “the hell did you just say?” 
“we’re ignoring you!” you waved him off and placed your hand on midoriya’s shoulder, wandering away. 
-
it was new to him, not getting what he wanted. and what he wanted right now was to be around you. again, it wasn’t like he would ever admit that to himself. 
“dude? you good? i thought you went off to fight y/n. i was so ready to cheer you on, dude,” kirishima’s chipper voice piped in. “she’s not fighting with you? why not?” 
“the dumbass was just probably scared of getting her ass beat by me.” 
“dude...that sounds really weird.” 
“whatever, shitty hair. let’s go.” 
the clock ticked. his ears were on fire. again. 
gosh, it was happening again. it was all you. his face scrunched up, his voice would surely crack if someone were to ask him what was wrong. 
bakugou was once again stuffing his face in his pillow, hiding his expression from no one. why did you have to go train with that shitty nerd? why were you always around deku? deku, of all people. what did he have? why was he so great? 
bakugou was a man of many insecurities, but losing to deku? that was possibly his biggest fear. 
perhaps he wasn’t the nicest, or the most soft person out there. bakugou could admit that, at least. but he was smarter than deku. he was stronger and he was better and people liked him more. right? 
what was so...amazing about deku? 
it was often bakugou would find himself obsessing over little, insignificant things such as these. 
you were what he was thinking of most of the time. just yesterday, he’d gotten a test returned. he was expecting an eighty at the lowest, but more so expecting a high ninety. it’d come back exactly sixty percent. 
sixty. percent.
bakugou vividly remembered staring at your face. he also remembered not being able to focus because of it. his grades were dropping because of you. 
you were the only person to be able to do this to him. 
his heart grew quiet, but the pounding of his didn’t cease. he lifted his head. 
“alright, fine,” he said aloud. “you win, y/n. you win.” 
he settled with getting over his feelings the way he’d read them in his collection of romance manga. 
bakugou left his room and knocked on your door. (he was banging on it, but it was his nice way of knocking.) 
you answered, looking around awkwardly. “yes?” 
his hands shook. how was this supposed to go? sure, he’d seen it in romance movies and read it in books but it was always easy to tell whether the guy would get the girl or not. 
in this instance, bakugou was clueless. for once in his life, he was clueless. you stood, tapping your foot with a hand on your hip, waiting expectantly for him to tell you why he was here. 
“um.” he scratched behind his neck. “you uh- i uh...i’m sorry i called you a, um...a shitface.” 
“okay? is that it?” 
what? come on! it was already unlike him to apologize. what else did you want from him? 
“did you...i’ve been thinking, maybe? maybe we could..train together as...friends?”  
“...what?” 
gosh dammit, as friends? 
“whatever, um...the uh...” oh gosh, what did the boys do in all the books he’d read? right! bakugou stretched out his arm, resting his forearm on the door, leaning to the side. 
although he didn’t, really, because like the clumsy jackass he was, bakugou missed completely and nearly toppled to the floor. 
this earned a snicker from you. 
his stomach flipped and churned, and bakugou found himself unable to reach your eyes. “uh, would you maybe..? okay, um. do you want to go on a date with me? you absolute fucking dumbass.” 
your eyes flew wide. “...what?” 
“no, that’s not what i— i mean i didn’t mean the last part. um, i meant the first part. the first two parts. the part where i was asking you if you wanted to go on a date with me and then before that when i said maybe because it’s still a maybe until you say yes. or...or no because that’s an option too.” 
he swallowed. 
you resisted the urge to mock him, just a little bit. “um, bakugou, listen.” 
he leaned closer. “yes?” 
“it’s going to be a no. i’m sorry, but i’m just not interested in you like that.” 
it took him a moment to register everything. his shoulders sagged. gosh that was brutal. 
“oh, alright.” 
“yeah, uh, sorry about that.” you offered him a weak smile, still a bit shocked yourself. he did his best to return it, and when you closed the door, his face was ready to explode. 
it was so damn difficult to deal with these feelings, but maybe it was better this way. knowing where you stood on your end, he knew he wouldn’t miss out on anything. 
perhaps it was alright to admire from afar. things could happen in the future, right? 
right now, he’d just wait. for a long, long time. bakugou pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. maybe it was alright to not have you right now. perhaps he could better himself for you. just for you. 
321 notes · View notes
violetwritesthings · 3 years
Note
hey, are you writing for midnight mass? If so, could I get a full one-shot with Father Paul
(I'm having pruitt brainrot)
Maybe just him adoring and praising the reader like a G-d? Perhaps she's accepted his 'divine gift' and became a vampire too? I'm not sure, anything works please, I just need some adoration and fluff <3
(No worries if not <//3)
okay, so, hi!
i'm so incredibly sorry for taking so long to answer this request (and i don't even think i did it right- the outcome is so not what you asked for, i have no idea where i went with this, i'm so sorry-), so i genuinely hope you like it!
word count: 5.2k~
warnings: bev being a bitch, cannibalism, plenty of midnight mass spoilers, and angel-vampires.
tag list: @vor3lla (if you'd like to be added to the tag list, let me know!)
-+-
the first thing you see is blood.
actually, no, that’s not quite right, you don’t wake to the sight of blood—but you might as well, with the way you’re craving it. you feel this stirring hunger at the pit of your stomach, a gnawing emptiness that’s begging to be filled.
you feel your neck throbbing in pain. you don’t have a heartbeat, not anymore, but you can practically hear the pulsing in your head. you try to turn your neck, but to no avail—the bones are too broken for you to move it even half an inch.
someone calls out to you. someone panicked, someone distressed. they’re calling your name, but it sounds like the voice is getting further and further away. like an echo down a long tunnel.
someone enters your field of vision, hovering over you. your eyes are too blurry to focus properly, but you see dark hair, then a face. your brain scrambles trying to place that face to a name, but your body is too busy adjusting.
your ears ring and buzz and the lights seem so incredibly bright, but that face is hovering in front of you, and you still can’t figure out quite who it is. that starving hunger in your stomach won’t go away, and you find yourself wishing you could go to sleep and dream a dream.
just a silly little dream. that’s all.
“y/n!”
hm. that voice sounds familiar. the person starts to shake your shoulders frantically. you want to tell them to stop, to just let you sleep, but your mouth refuses to comply.
“y/n, wake up! just—just wake up!”
oh, you realize. now you know who that voice belongs to. that face, too.
john.
why is he so upset? everything’s okay. sure, you have this horrible hunger that’s driving you mad, and yes, you realize something’s clearly wrong with your neck, and—oh, right, that puddle of blood underneath you might not be all that normal. but it’s nothing to panic about.
you start to slip under the comfortable blanket of sleep. john’s still calling out for you, but you just can’t bring yourself to care. the warm, bright lights start to dim as your eyes flutter shut and everything turns to black.
-+-
john had been acting strange.
he passed out during mass, which was something that personally scared the crap out of you. you were to first one to get to him, the first one to make sure he made his way home safely. you didn’t care about what the others in the parish would think, not when something was clearly wrong.
(besides, you played it off as simply being a concerned parishioner. none of them needed to know that you’d been in a secret relationship with the man for months, now.)
yet, that wasn’t the strangest part.
the strangest part was when john didn’t show up to mass at all the next day, or the day after that. instead, you got to hear bev keane make up some excuse about how he hadn’t been feeling well and how he would be on bed rest. you wouldn’t believe anything bev said, even in the best of times, but something felt especially off that morning.
you made up your mind. you’d go see him—even if just to make sure that he was alright.
you sat through mass, fidgeting with your hands and bouncing your knees anxiously as you awaited the end of the session. finally, when mass ended, you jumped up and headed outside. instead of going home, as you usually would do, you went the opposite direction—towards the back of the church, where john lived in a small house.
you made your way to the door and knocked lightly. “john? it’s me.”
you didn’t hear anything at first. there was just dead, quiet silence coming from inside. you raised your fist to knock for the second time, but a small voice rang out before you did. shaky. unsteady. “come in.”
you opened the door hesitantly and quickly stepped inside, to make sure nobody saw you walk in. “hey, i’m sorry for barging in on you like this, i was just worried—”
you had turned around while speaking, and immediately went silent.  john was sitting in the corner, bloodied and shaking, and a body was lying dead on the ground—joe collie, you realized after a moment. john was covered in blood, joe was covered in blood, and all you could see was blood, blood, blood.
“oh my god,” you muttered.
your hands flew to your mouth. your visible shock seemed to take john out of his stupor. he finally tilted his head in your direction, meeting your gaze. “i – i'm not – i didn’t, uh, he...he hit his head,” john stammered. “and then, i—”
he couldn’t seem to finish his sentence. you finally regained your sense of movement and briskly walked past joe’s body and knelt in front of john. “jesus christ, john, what happened? how did--i mean,” you gestured wildly. you were at a loss for words.
“joe—he came in to tell me about,” john swallowed thickly. “about his struggles w-with his sobriety, and he fell, and he hit his head, and i was just so hungry.”
you felt your heartbeat quicken. the fight or flight response within you was screaming flight, and you couldn’t help the wave of fear that overwhelmed you. this was something altogether. this was something monstrous.
and yet, under all of the layers of horror and shakiness, you saw sitting in front of you the man you loved—and he was scared. you’d known him for long enough to know that he had no clue what was happening, not really. whatever happened here was horrible, but you would stand by him. you would help him in any way you could.
he wouldn’t leave you in your time of need, so you wouldn’t leave him in his.
“okay,” you nodded. “okay, we can fix this.”
he looked up at you, shocked at your sudden acquiescence. “what?”
“we can fix this,” you repeated. “who else knows?”
john closed his eyes. “uhm, bev. she walked in, after...”
you nodded, your gaze distant as you formulated a plan. “okay, so, bev knows. anyone else?” he shook his head. “okay. okay, good. we should keep this under wraps as much as possible, then.”
“y/n?”
you didn’t have to turn around to recognize the shrill, plain voice of beverly keane. speak of the devil.
you glanced at john for a moment, rolling your eyes, before rising from the ground and facing bev. “hello, beverly.”
“you aren’t supposed to be here,” bev said, casually folding her hands together in front of her lap. “so, i believe you should leave now.”
“i’m not going anywhere,” you retorted. if your tone was a little too sharp, well, you figured you could be forgiven for it in this case. “i know what happened, and i want to help.”
bev sighed and scanned you up and down condescendingly. you already knew she was revving up for a long one. “now, now, y/n. i know all too well that you’ve been sneaking around with the monsignor like a little schoolgirl. now, i've let it pass for the sake of the monsignor’s happiness, but please, don’t mistake that fact as an excuse to act as though you may do whatever you please.”
“you’re talking to me about—”
“stop,” john mumbled. you both quieted down when you heard his voice. he cleared his throat. “you won’t speak to y/n that way, bev. understand that now, or get out.”
you felt the smallest hint of smug satisfaction watching bev’s face morph into a hidden kind of rage. she held her tight grin that was plastered on her face and looked down at john.
“right, well, i simply came in to see how you were doing. i'll go make sure everyone gets home safely and come back when we’re ready to dispose of the evidence.” it sickened you how easily bev referred to joe collie’s dead corpse as ‘evidence,’ but you wouldn’t voice it aloud. you just wanted her to leave. “will you need help cleaning up, monsignor?”
“i’ve got it,” you interrupted.
she looked at you, internally fuming, but finally turned to leave. she sauntered past the dead body as if it were an everyday occurrence and left through the front door.
you sighed. “she’s a joy.” you returned to your previous spot, crouching in front of john. “alright, come on. we really should get you cleaned up. can you stand?”
john blinked, looking around as though he’d just remembered something. “i would, but—the sun.”
you tilted your head in confusion. “the sun?”
he moved his hand forward towards a slip of light that peeked through the window. you jumped back when, inexplicably, his hand started to burn. it was unlike anything you’d ever seen before. he solemnly removed his hand from the sunlight, and you watched as his hand slowly started to heal.
“yeah,” john grumbled. “the sun.”
you widened your eyes. “right, okay,” you stammered. “so, no sun. cool. we can work with that.”
you quickly got up and closed the curtains so that no light would shine through. you realized, then, that john had probably been stuck in the corner since the morning. your gaze caught on joe collie’s body, but you forced yourself to tear your eyes away. you’d help john fix this, even if you didn’t have the full story.
“come on,” you prompted as you held out your hand. john sluggishly took it and rose from the ground. he lost his balance for a moment, but you successfully caught him in an embrace before he could fall. “hey, hey, i've got you,” you muttered soothingly. “you’re okay.”
it was as though he was drunk with the way he swayed in your arms. he held onto you tightly, as if you were a lifeboat in the open ocean. you blew a strand of hair out of your face and looked around you, wondering how the hell you were going to fix all of this.
you’re okay, you thought to yourself. everything’s gonna be fine.
-+-
one day and one night passed.
you helped john clean up, washing the blood and grime out of his hair and skin. he was nonverbal for the majority of it, but he was lucid. he moved when you asked him to, nodded or shook his head with yes or no questions.
by the time you managed to get him dressed and settled, bev had returned with a small group—sturge, the mayor. you weren’t shocked when you realized that they were the ones tasked with removing joe’s body from the house.
the mayor, wade scarborough, appeared the most unsettled. the moment that he expressed no desire to have any part in any of this, bev chewed him out, screaming at him about ‘cherry-picking the bible,’ referencing his daughter leeza’s miraculous recovery.
bev had an incredible ability to make anyone feel badly about themselves, you noted with a scoff.
as bev continued on her rant, you wandered back into john’s room. he had been sitting on the edge of the bed when you left him, but he had apparently moved to stand in front of the window, his back turned to you.
cautiously, you walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “hey,” you greeted softly.
“hey,” he replied, not tearing his gaze away from the window.
he seemed so broken. you wished you could come up with something reassuring to say, but your mind came up blank. “things are being dealt with out there, so don’t worry, okay?”
he hummed in acknowledgement, but you had no real way of knowing if he actually heard you. you stayed there a moment, sensing that he probably wanted to be left alone, then started to leave.
“why did you help me?”
you froze. “what?”
“you didn’t have to. you could’ve run away screaming, called me a monster. swore to never see me again. i mean, i wouldn’t have blamed you. but you stayed, and you helped me. why?”
“you’d do the same for me. you and i are a team, remember?” you stepped closer to john and hooked your arms around his torso, leaning your head on his back. “now, if you want to tell me what happened, i’m here to listen. if not, that’s okay too.” he sighed, gripping onto your embrace. “it’s a really long story.”
“hey,” you chuckled. “if i could wrap my head around you being made forty-some years younger by a rogue angel, i could follow along with anything you’ll throw at me.” he laughed at that, then. you hugged him just a bit tighter.
“okay,” he nodded. “okay, yeah. here goes.”
-+-
as it turned out, it was pretty hard to follow.
john told one crazy story, and you didn’t even know how to begin processing it. according to him, he had died—actually died—due to an overdose of the angel’s blood, he suspected. then, he was resurrected just moments later. bev, sturge, and the mayor and his wife had all witnessed it, which is why they had all been involved.
when he had come back to life, it had been nearly insane—he couldn’t be in the sun without burning his limbs to a crisp, he was under constant delirium and confusion, and he had this starving hunger in the pit of his stomach that he just couldn’t shake.
and that’s when joe collie had walked in.
the way that john described the encounter certainly scared you. he made it sound as though he had no control over his own body whatsoever. john had clutched onto joe in a partial embrace, causing him to fall over. when joe hit his head against a table, he’d started bleeding. immensely.
that’s when john couldn’t help himself.
his voice shook as he told the story, and he couldn’t once seem to meet your eyes. he had no guilt for what he had done, he explained, but he did feel guilty for the effect it would have on the others. more importantly, he thought you would certainly see him as nothing but a monster.
you didn’t.
once he’d finished speaking, you stared down at your lap, fiddling with your hands awkwardly. you didn’t quite know what to say. you didn’t know how to react to any of this.
“i know you must think the worst of me,” john eventually said, filling the silence.
“i don’t.” you turned to him, grabbing his hand. “john, i don’t.”
he finally looked up at you. you had his attention.
“to be honest with you, this is taking me a bit to process, but that doesn’t mean i think you’re a monster, or a bad person.” you tightened your grip on his hand to emphasize your point. “i told you, it’s you and me. we’re a team. that means i don’t turn my back on you, you don’t turn your back on me. non-negotiable.”
he just stared at you, this look of adoration and awe in his eyes. “i don’t know how i'll ever be worthy of you.”
you smiled softly. “you already are.”
to prove it, you gently caressed his cheek and leaned in, meeting his lips in a kiss. it was soft, simple, nothing more than an ‘i’m here. i'm with you.’
at least, that’s what you hoped the kiss conveyed until someone cleared their throat loudly.
you and john separated begrudgingly. bev had been standing at the front door, a neutral expression on her face. “my apologies for the intrusion.”
“what is it, bev?” you could hear the pure annoyance in john’s voice; you wondered if bev could hear it too.
“i came to let you know that the body’s been disposed of.”
you wondered how they managed to get rid of joe’s body in such a short time—but, you supposed, when the literal mayor was involved, there were more liberties they could take.
“thank you,” john muttered.
she nodded firmly. “will you be needing anything else?” she subtly turned towards you. “time to rest, perhaps?”
you couldn’t help yourself.
“you know what, bev? that’s actually a great idea,” you replied politely with a smile. “i’d imagine he does need time to rest, so you should probably get going now.”
when john didn’t show any sign of protest, bev silently left through the front door with a huff. you heard the door to the house slam with her departure.
then, sitting in the silence, john started chuckling.
“what?” you asked, actually grinning this time.
he shook his head affectionately. “you are...something else, y/n.”
“oh, come on,” you said, nudging his shoulder. “you know you love me.”
he met your eyes, a genuine smile gracing his face, and he sighed. “that, i do.”
-+-
life with your newly sunshine-allergic, blood-diet priest boyfriend was certainly...
well, weird.
he’d begun conducting mass after the sun had gone down, which the town got quickly adjusted to. he spoke with the same charisma and power as he always did, so it wasn’t as though the town suspected anything.
days had passed and easter had finally come, and the town was alight with excitement. most of the people on crockett island, even those who wouldn’t regularly come to mass, were ready to celebrate the holiday.
the majority of the day was spent getting the church ready. you’d noticed that bev was overly joyous and talkative, which wasn’t exactly normal. she even wished the sheriff a ‘happy easter,’ when she would normally ignore his existence altogether.
something was off.
you two had ended up in the same room together as you set up an array of candles surrounding the church’s interior. she actually started humming, which unnerved you to no end.
eventually, you couldn’t stand it anymore. you exhaled sharply. “okay, what is this?”
she glared at you. “excuse me?”
“you’ve been acting really weird all day.”
“well, that’s because this evening,” she looked around, then dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “the world is going to change.”
you raised an eyebrow skeptically. “oh, really? change, how?”
“oh, y/n, the monsignor and i have the most wonderful plan.” she rushed towards you and held both of your hands tightly in hers. “death won’t need to be a part of life, not anymore. we’re past all of that, now.”
you felt way too uncomfortable with bev’s level of enthusiasm. “what—what are you talking about?”
“we can share the monsignor’s gift —god’s gift—with the entire parish.”
your heart thudded to a stop. you forcefully removed your hands from her grip. “wait. you’re saying you want to kill everyone in the church? put them through what john went through?”
she scoffed lightly. “what the monsignor ‘went through’ was a miracle. he was resurrected, just like our lord, jesus christ, and brought back to revel in the gift he was given, to spread the gospel. this is exactly that.”
“and what happens to everyone else? the people that don’t go to mass. what happens to them? they just die?”
“those who don’t want to be saved...” she trailed off, exhaling deeply. “well, i suppose they’ve already made their choices, now, haven’t they?”
you were speechless. you knew one thing for sure—you needed to go talk to john and stop this insanity before it began. you set down the candles you had left and made your way to the front door. before leaving, you held your hand over the doorknob and decided you’d say one last thing to bev.
“those innocent people that you’re leaving to die?” you turned to face her. “that’s not them and their choices. that’s you, bev, acting like you have a say in who lives and who dies.”
for once in her life, bev had nothing to say.
with that, you walked out.
-+-
“explain. now.”
john looked up at you guiltily from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed. “you weren’t supposed to know.”
“you were planning on poisoning the entire island, john?! no, wait, i stand corrected—you were planning on changing everyone in the parish, then leaving the rest of the island to die.”
“that wasn’t—”
“do you not remember what happened to joe collie? all he did was walk in and you turned it into an all-you-could-eat buffet.” you put your hands on your hips, exasperated. “i'm not saying this to make you feel worse or to throw it in your face, but what do you think’s gonna happen with an entire town full of bloodhungry people?”
john shook his head. “the point, the whole point of this, was to share this miracle. to restore everyone as jesus was restored.”
“jesus wasn’t ‘restored’ by some magical angel hiding off in a dark cave somewhere. and joe wasn’t changed, remember?” you scoffed. “he just died. is that really what you want for everyone?”
he shook his head solemnly, closing his eyes. "no. no, it's not."
you sighed, then sat down on the edge of the bed next to john. the mattress dipped with your weight. “look, i know you have only the best intentions, but this isn’t the way to go about saving them.”
he stayed silent, staring at the wall. you could practically hear the gears in his mind churning, and you hoped that he was hearing what you were saying.
“can i tell you something?” he eventually asked, muttering into the quiet space.
you nodded.
“i did—i do want to save them. i really do. but the truth, the real truth, is that i wanted to save you.”
you furrowed your eyebrows. “what?”
“i’ve already grown old, y/n. i know what it feels like to have your mind slip away from you, to start forgetting things to the point where you barely remember your own name. it’s torture. and the worst part is, you don’t even realize it’s happening.” he looked at you, a barely restrained hopelessness hidden in his eyes. “i couldn’t watch you go through it.”
“john...” you trailed off.
“yeah,” he nodded. “yeah, i know. but can you imagine it? i mean, a life without death. painful death, slow death, all of it, just gone.”
you shook your head firmly. “we can’t do that to those people. you have to know that.”
he sighed, leaning his head on your shoulder.
you had a feeling he was listening.
-+-
you and john walked into the church, hand-in-hand. the sun had long since gone down, and bev was getting prepared to meet the scarboroughs’ in front of their house to lead the parishioners back to the church for easter mass.
“ah! monsignor, good evening,” bev hummed as soon as she’d seen you both walk in. “and y/n. good evening to you as well. everything’s almost ready, i just need to—”
“bev, we need to talk,” john interrupted.
she blinked, frozen in her tracks. “i’m sorry?”
“the plan’s off.” he cleared his throat. “we can’t, uh, we can’t do what we said we’d do.”
you tightened your grip on his hand, a subtle encouragement. a way to remind him that you were still with him.
it seemed as though the words weren’t registering in bev’s mind. you could almost see the loading screen stuck in her expression. “monsignor, i--i'm afraid i don’t understand the sudden change of heart. i thought we’d agreed, this is what’s best for—”
“no. this isn’t what’s best. this isn’t right, this—this isn’t god’s will at work. this was human; this was my own selfishness. god hasn’t been moving through me. i've realized that now.”
“monsignor, no,” bev denied vehemently.
“bev, we’ve been going about this all wrong.” he stepped forward, standing eye-to-eye with bev.
suddenly, something flickered in the corner of your eye, past bev, past john. it was sitting in the corner of the church—had it been there all along? it was something large, grey, evil.
it loomed ominously. something moved once, twice—wings. one large pair of wings attached to a long, lanky body were staring right at you. that’s when it clicked.
this must have been the angel that changed john the first time, then made him into what he was now. but from the looks of it, this angel didn’t look like an angel at all. in fact, only one word popped into your head as you stared at the creature standing in the corner.
demon.
it flapped its wings again; once, twice. you realized with a gasp that the creature was getting ready to fly. its eyes, its dark, dark eyes were practically boring holes into john’s head. it was planning to attack him for the third time, wasn’t it?
john and bev were too delved into their heated conversation to notice the large thing in the corner of the room, but you watched it, frozen in fear.
that’s when it took flight.
you barely had half a second to react. you pushed john out of the way, knocking him to the side, taking the brunt of the creature’s force. it brought you to the ground and hissed—it sounded like a high-pitched squeal directed into your eardrums.
it threw its head back, then sunk its teeth into your neck.
you screamed—it was the only thing you could think to do, considering you couldn’t think at all due to the overwhelming pain in your neck. you couldn’t hear anyone else, couldn’t see anyone else, with the way that the creature’s wings covered your field of vision.
you screamed, and screamed, until your vocal cords felt raw. still, the creature drank from you with no remorse.
eventually, the worst of the pain started to fade, which you were grateful for. that was, at least, until you realized that it was because you were fading yourself. your thoughts weren’t coherent anymore and you found yourself dizzy and disoriented. the creature still drank.
you were dying, weren’t you?
minutes passed, or maybe hours. you couldn’t have known how much time had really gone by. the creature slowed its feast, then stopped altogether. it licked its lips, flapped its wings once more, and flew off somewhere. you heard the church’s doors swing on their hinges with its departure.
you vaguely saw the silhouetted figure of someone rushing over to you. then, you saw nothing at all.
-+-
when you next woke, the first thing you saw was blood.
well, that’s not quite right, you didn’t wake to the sight of blood, but you might as well have, with the way you craved it.
you thought you saw john’s face come into view, but you couldn’t really tell. you were coming in and out of consciousness, unable to focus for more than a few moments at a time. you thought that maybe you saw him crying, but you couldn’t be sure.
it felt like you weren’t sure of anything anymore.
finally, your eyes fluttered open.
“y/n, oh, thank god. thank god,” john muttered, moving the hair out of your face.
you were still disoriented, trying to gauge your surroundings. your neck felt like it had split into six different pieces. more than anything else, though, you were hungry.
“what—” you groaned. the lights from the candles you’d set up earlier were blinding you. “what happened?”
“the angel, it attacked you.” he shook his head. “well, it was coming for me, but you—you saved me.”
oh right, you thought. the creature.
you tried sitting up from where you were laying on the floor, but a sharp crack of pain in your head stopped you in your tracks.
“no, no,” john shushed. “stay still. your neck still needs time to heal.”
“it killed me, didn’t it?” you whispered. “i’m--i'm like you, now?”
a tear slid down his face as he nodded. “yes, my dearest. you’re like me now.”
your own eyes started to water as the rest of your memories trickled in. you realized that you were dead—really dead—and you’d never get to see the sunlight again, and that desperate, gnawing hunger in your gut would never go away.
how would you possibly keep going?
before you could answer that question, you realized just how exhausted you were. you slowly fell back into a numb state of unconsciousness, floating in an empty sea within your mind. you weren’t asleep, but you weren’t exactly awake, either. you were stuck in that fragile in-between state. you didn’t know how long you were stuck in limbo.
the next time you woke up, the church’s curtains had been drawn back, blocking the small rays of sunlight from coming in.
it was daytime, you presumed. the church had to have been empty, considering you heard no footsteps, no movement—unless...?
finally able to move your neck, seeing as though it had healed during your restless sleep, you turned your head to the side. you saw john sitting in the corner, his arms locked around his knees. he had his head down and his breathing was heavy—you quickly realized that he had fallen asleep. had he been there all night?
you sat up slowly, hissing at the dull pain that wracked throughout your body. you paused, took a deep breath, then continued.
when you made your way across the church, you slid on the floor next to john. the movement finally roused him from his sleep. he looked up at you, then to where you’d been lying on the floor, then back to you, as if he were trying to figure out how you’d gotten there.
“y/n. you’re awake.”
you nodded. “yeah. i'm awake.”
“i’m so, so sorry. for all of this.” he shook his head. “if i hadn’t--”
“hey. don’t do that,” you interrupted, raising your hand. “don’t blame this all on yourself.”
he fell silent. you both stared straight ahead at the closed curtains that blocked the sunlight from coming in. it was a strange, fearful thought that the slightest movement of these curtains could cause your body to literally start burning.
in the silence, a thought occurred to you. “the parish. what happened last night?”
“i, um—mass was canceled, last night. we didn’t go through with the plan.”
“good.” you sighed, glancing at the empty pews. “i’m sure the whole town was thrown off by that.”
“there were more important matters to deal with last night,” he said, turning to look at you with those soft eyes of his.
you felt a smile tugging at your lips, but you quickly sobered. “this plan. it’s off for good, right?”
he nodded. “that creature? the one that presented itself to me as an angel? after what it did to you, i wouldn’t--i couldn’t--” he sighed, aggravated, before shaking his head. “so, what do we do now?”
“now, we...figure out a new way to survive.” you thought for a moment, then amended your previous statement. “i'm not eating from people, not if i can help it.”
he nodded. “okay. we’ll find a different way.”
“and that creature, that thing, we’ll need to figure out what to do with it.”
“we’ll deal with it as it comes.”
“and we’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt anyone else,” you added. you felt a surprising sense of relief, now that you had a solid plan. you scooted closer to john, then let your head rest on his shoulder. “can i tell you something?”
he hummed, a form of acknowledgement.
“if there was anyone to be stuck as a dead person with, i'm glad that it’s you.”
he chuckled, then grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it. “likewise, my love. likewise.”
252 notes · View notes