#sometimes it just. hits me. that she's not in my life anymore. and it seems stupid to say that because like. she's not dead. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweatervest-obsessed · 6 months

Note

Okay.. hear me out the song 'Stick Season' by Noah Kahan... for a fic like her and spence break up and she can't move on from him...

Oh you mean my FAVORITE NOAH KAHAN SONG???

Absolutely girlboss.

It ended up being 3.5k, so please please enjoy!!

(it's a gn! fic btw)

You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive Because your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign Kept on drivin' straight and left our future to the right

Everyone in the BAU hated letting Spencer drive. It was a fact of the universe. It wasn’t because he was bad at it, in fact he was quite a good driver. But whenever he would drive, it was constant chatter, constant rambling, and sometimes, it would be in between NPR segments where Spencer would correct someone or pause to discuss interesting facts that he knew.

So when Spencer offered to drive the team to the hotel across town, no one had the guts to say no. It was some random town in Vermont, in the middle of October, some weird string of murders throwing another small town into disarray. He was in the middle of describing the science behind why certain leaves change into certain colors when his voice died out.

They were at one of two stop lights in town and they were stopped at one of them. Spencer was looking diagonally across at some random coffee shop, and Derek could not, for the life of him, figure out why Spencer was looking over there.

“Reid? Hello.”

“It’s her.”

“Who?” Derek followed his line of sight again and realized what Spencer was looking at, well, who he was looking at.

You.

“Oh my god. Isn’t that…”

Spencer nodded his head.

“Why is she…”

Spencer just stared at you. “I don’t know.”

You were now leaving the coffee shop, cup in hand and small brown bag in the other. Spencer could probably guess what was in both.

“Green light Reid.”

The two of them started to move again, but neither of them spoke on the way to the hotel. It was almost unbelievable that they hadn’t seen you in over two years and yet here you were, in some random town that had a serial killer.

Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face And memories are somethin' even smoking weed does not replace And I am terrified of weather 'cause I see you when it rains Doc told me to travel, but there's COVID on the planes

“No no. Lucille. You don’t understand. He was like, nerdy hot. And I fucked up big time.”

Lucille snorted and handed you the blunt in her hand. “My love, my life. I bet you, he was the problem.”

You scoffed and took a hit. “Yeah right.”

Lucille raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You’re not still in love with the guy are you?”

“When you put it like that it makes me sound pathetic.”

“Oh girl no, you are, aren't you.”

You sighed and took another hit—a long inhale this time to compensate.

“Sweetie, you are WAY too good for him.”

You laughed. “Mr three PhDs, four Bachelors, and FBI? Yeah. I don’t think so.”

“Weren’t you Mrs FBI?”

“That’s Miss FBI to you. Mrs is reserved for happy married stupid people.” You grumbled and closed your eyes.

“Wow.”

“Wow What.”

“He was really the one wasn’t he.”

You nodded. “I really thought….god I’m so stupid.” You stood up and started pacing along the porch of your house.

Once you and Spencer had broken up, you needed to get out of there. There had to be somewhere where he couldn’t touch you, couldn’t find you. So you closed your eyes and pointed to a random spot on the map. Then when you realized you pointed to Las Vegas, you sat down and wrote down what you knew about Spencer, then tried to find somewhere that he had the lowest percentage of going.

And Fairlee seemed like the right place. There was nothing for him out here.

Except for you.

But Spencer didn’t feel that way. Not anymore at least.

You had taken up teaching, obtaining your teaching certificate up in Vermont and becoming one of ten teachers in the high school (which supported any child in a half hour radius).

It wasn’t hunting down serial killers, but it was still fulfilling.

That’s how you met Lucille. She was another teacher, in need of a roommate, and the rest is history.

“You’re floating away again.”

You snapped back to the conversation. “Sorry. Just. Really thought we were going to get married and be with each other and shit but.”

“But?”

“He wasn’t ready. You’d think three years knowing one another and being friends, and then another three years of dating would, you know. Add up to something.”

“I’m sorry sweetie.” Lucille took your hand and squeezed it tightly. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah…maybe, I don’t know.”

She squeezed it again. “Tonight’s the night Damian invited us all down to the bar to hang out, I know we said no but…might as well get free drinks out of a guy who will never get the hint. Free booze, boost of ego. You’re young, you’re hot.”

“I see what you’re doing.” You smiled down at her. “But it’s raining and I’m not in the mood to get soaking wet just from walking from the house to the car then the car to the bar….”

“Pleaseeeee.”

Just as you were about to answer, a pair of headlights turned onto your driveway.

You’d know those stupid fucking headlights anywhere.

“Who do we know that drives a black suburban?”

Lucille shrugged. “I don’t think we know anyone who has one in town, why? Is that what the car is?”

You nodded, your stomach dropping.

“Luce. Hide the weed.”

“Why, it's not Tom and you know he’s over here every—-“

“Now. Luce.”

She furrowed her brows as the headlights stopped in front of the house. She quickly grabbed everything and went into the house.

You stood on the porch, in your pajamas pants, and a sweatshirt, hands in the front porch.

The car turned off and you watched as three figures got out of the car and walked up to the porch, freezing as they looked at you, the rain pouring down on them.

“Why are you here Hotch?”

The man was frozen,and he looked over at Emily, who was just as baffled to see you.

“Y/n?”

“Why are you here?” You asked again.

“Why are you here?”

“This is my home Em.” You stepped back a couple of steps and gestured for them to come up onto the porch so they don’t have to stand in the rain anymore.

Spencer was silent the whole time, not taking his eyes off of you.

The three of them moved up the porch and went towards the door, but you blocked them.

“You need a warrant if you want to enter my house, Hotch. What are you doing here.”

“We need to speak to Lucille Walkner.”

“Why.”

Emily raised her eyebrows, and crossed her arms. She was used to how stubborn you were, but being on the receiving end of it was something she was not a fan of.

“It’s in regards to the string of murders y/n.”

You raised your eyebrows. “I can guarantee you that I have been with Lucille every moment of every day for the past two weeks.”

“We’re not accusing her, we’re just asking—“

You cut Emily off. “Asking her questions. Yeah. I know how this goes. In case you forgot or something. It hasn’t been that long. Why do you need to speak to her.”

“Because she was the last person seen with the most recent victim.”

You looked at Spencer for the first time since he got here. “So was I. But somehow you failed to mention that as well. You’re losing your grip, Doctor.”

The group had never heard your voice so flat, so strict, so full of disdain. It was easy for you to treat him like he was the villain. He felt like one. He was one.

“Y/n.”

You broke your staring contest with Spencer and looked over at Hotch. “Get a warrant and come back tomorrow.”

And with that you walked into your house and locked the door behind you. Feeling a bit more bitter than usual, you turned off the porch light too.

They all stood out there. Dumbfounded.

And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do

When the BAU showed up at your door with the proper paperwork the next morning, both you and your roommate were at work, twenty minutes away.

Your sense of humor still intact since you managed to leave a sticky note for them:

At work. home by 4.

But that didn’t stop the caped crusaders of the BAU.

When they showed up at the school to interview you and your roommate, Lucille went first, recounting the night all three of you went out to one of three bars in the town, and then when you offered to drive her home, she insisted on calling her own roommate. When you watched her get into her roommate's car, the both of you went home.

When you recounted the same exact story, you both were released for the day.

“Heard you were a pain in the ass yesterday.”

You stopped in the hallway and turned around, facing Derek Morgan. “What do you want, Agent.”

“Woah woah what’s with the formalities.”

You rolled your eyes. “Derek. I’m really not in the mood. I fit the victimology of the asshole on a murder spree, and the team acted like I didn’t fucking know that. I’ve also realized you haven’t connected the fact that all of them are dating or sleeping with the police force.”

“All? We only knew two of the five—“

“Because half of them don’t want to admit that they’re cheating on their wives, and the other half don’t want to admit they’re dating anyone regardless of marital status. Not a single one of the victims were married.”

Derek just stared at you. “Touchy subject?”

You closed your eyes. “I still have a gun license Derek. Don’t make me use it.”

“Too soon?”

“Yeah Derek. Too soon.” You sighed as he pulled you into a hug.

“We miss you y’a know. It’s not the same.”

“I’m sure.” You squeezed him tightly.

“And I’m serious. We haven’t found anyone nearly as good as you have been.” He whispered, kissing your head. “Your desk is still empty. Hotch won’t let anyone sit there. I think he’s hoping you’d come back. I think we all are.”

“I can’t even look at him and it’s been two years” you whispered trying not to cry.

“I know.” He just squeezed you. “I know.”

“God I just….”

Derek pulled you into an empty classroom the second he felt your body tense up. There was one thing you hated more than crying, and it was crying in public. Once the door to the classroom was closed, he pulled you back into the hug, letting your tears pour down his shoulder.

“God I thought I’d never have to see you people again.”

Derek chuckled. “Clearly you didn’t read your contract. It’s required that you’re supposed to see me at least seven times a year and if you don’t, I hunt you down.”

You laughed through your tears and sat down on one of the desks. “You wish.”

“I do.”

“Be serious Derek.”

“I am.”

You sighed and looked up at him. “Well. Now you know where I am so. Come and visit me I guess.”

“Oh I plan on it gorgeous.”

You used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe away some of the tears still clinging to your cheeks.

“He misses you too.”

“Derek….”

He knew it ws dangerous territory, but he had to let you know—He needed you to know how it was affecting everyone, even though it’s been two years. “He does.”

“Why would you tell me that Derek.”

“You have to–

“Have to what Derek. I don’t wan—that’s a lie. What I would fucking give to be back in DC; back at the FBI. But I can’t do it Derek. I can’t go back.”

“But–”

“No.” You backed away from him, out of his arms. “I’m not going back.”

“Please.” Derek watched as your back straightened and your eyes hardened. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were just starting to move on. Fuck. He watched as you closed yourself off again.

“Do you need anything else agent or can I go.”

“Y/n…”

“Then goodbye Agent Morgan.”

So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad No, I am no longer funny 'cause I miss the way you laugh You once called me forever now you still can't call me back

Unexpectedly, but expectedly, the killer was caught. He was some sort of religious nut who had decided that “immoral sinners” be put in your place.

That was something you did not miss: the misogynistic murderers.

But the BAU was getting ready to leave. You were grateful that they had come and protected the community you had grown so close to, but the thought of them knowing where you were made you nervous.

You knew Penelope most likely tracked you from time to time, and you weren’t trying to live completely off the grid/untraceable. But seeing them in person, watching them run around your town, was nerve-wracking.

Seeing Spencer fucked you up the most though.

He looked okay; or better than you at least. He was completely and utterly okay, and it bugged the shit out of you. How could he be okay, how could he move on and be happy without you, while you are stuck still trying to locate the remaining pieces of your shattered heart.

To Spencer, you were a wonderful experience. But to you, Spencer was everything.

The BAU had left, no goodbyes were in order since you had fulfilled your goal of attempting to burn every bridge you had. It was painful, but you just couldn't help it. They reminded you of Spencer. Everything reminded you of Spencer.

Lucille watched as you slowly transformed back into that lost person from two years ago. Your smile never reached your eyes. You drank just enough to be concerning, but not enough to continuously push the boundaries of alcoholism. Your face was pale. You never laughed or cracked jokes any more.

All you could do was think of Spencer. Waking up next to him, his arms around your waist. The smell of his apartment, the rides to work, the glances from your desk to his desk. It was all just too painful.

There were moments where you would pick up your phone and sometimes it felt like the world was against you. Derek posted a picture from some sort of day off, and suddenly you didn’t follow him anymore. Or, if you opened NPR, Doctor Spencer Reid was the headliner in a speaker series at Georgetown in blah blah blah. So you stopped listening to the radio.

Every since he stepped out of the car in your drive you, you’ve wanted to call him. You’ve wanted to hear him speak to you like he did, to love you like he did. You wanted to call him and hear him apologize and tell you everything was going to be okay and this was all just a big misunderstanding and you were his forever.

But you had a feeling that if you called, he wouldn’t pick up.

Oh, that'll have to do My other half was you I hope this pain's just passin' through But I doubt it

One Year Later…

Time flies. Leaves change. Life moves on.

But suddenly it's back to October and you find yourself in a new town, somewhere completely different. Another fresh start. Maybe this one will stick.

But then you get a call.

And it’s from Erin Strauss, offering you your job back, and your hesitation gave her all of the information she wanted to hear. You had three days to make a decision.

Do you continue to run from place to place, hoping and praying that maybe someday you’d be able to feel like you deserved to be loved again. Hoping that someday someone might actually want to stay. They might want you to stay.

Do you stay in this new town, and get attached to the people, making new friends, reminding you of the old ones, and hoping that it will be enough to fill the holes in your skin.

Do you continue to teach. Do you continue to shape minds even though it’s not something you had ever dreamed of doing. Especially when it feels like you’re trying to force your body into loving something it doesn’t.

Do you go back to the FBI–the BAU.

Do you ignite the flame in your chest and let yourself enjoy the chase. LEt yourself be happy with your job and treasure every moment you get to catch the bad guy.

Do you accept the job and move back to the desk you belong at, surrounded by your friends. Once again in a building you call home, letting your guard down for the first time in three years.

Do you let your guard down and talk to Spencer and watch yourself undo all of the progress you had made. Watch as your resolve crumbles and your heart aches and you can;t even breathe around him because it hurts to see him.

Do you give up and follow him around like some lost puppy and beg for him to take you back so maybe you’ll be able to melt your waxen heart and be happy again.

You don’t take the job. You never hear from Erin Strauss again.

Sometimes in your sleep, you can see what your wedding would have looked like. The venue, the florals, your outfits and shoes. Your closest friends and family by your side as you commit your soul to be bound to his.

But every time you get to the I Do’s, Spencer says yes.

It hurts because you never even made it that far.

You didn’t even get an engagement ring.

All you got were pitiful looks and sympathetic glances while Spencer rambled on about how much he didn’t understand marriage or want children–not that you did, but you would have liked for it to have been a discussion between the two of you.

You would have liked a lot of things.

Sometimes, in your dreams, Spencer proposes.

It never leaves your mind, watching as he publicly declares his love for you. Apparently, that was too much to ask for.

And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do Have to do

The pain of waiting to be loved feels like you’ve but split down the middle, letting yourself melt apart. The skin, no matter how hard you try, can never be stitched back together, and even if you manage to get some back, it scars over, reminding you for the rest of your life how unloveable you feel.

Maybe you’ll get lucky and someday you can learn to live with never being truly whole again.

Since Spencer owns half of you, and you will never be whole without him.

Part 2

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader fluff #dr spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader angst #Spencer reid angst #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid x self insert

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estrellami-1 · 9 months

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If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Just then Eddie walks in, raising his brows at the veritable mountain of food Steve and Eleven are putting together. “What’s all this?”

Steve smiles warmly at him. “Hey, Eds,” he says, which is certainly an experience. He’s spoken roughly twice with the guy—in his memory—but Steve’s three chapters—nay, three books ahead. Eddie is Frodo, about to embark on his first journey, and Steve is Bilbo, or even Gandalf: someone who’s done this all before, whose eyes carry the weight of worlds.

Speaking of, Steve’s eyes dim slightly the longer Eddie takes to answer, so he waves his fingers at Steve, trying to ignore the swoop in his stomach when Steve’s smile brightens again. “So… what’s this?”

“Dinner,” Eleven answers. “We are making sandwiches.”

Eddie nods, because sure. Why not. “Okay.”

“How’s the song coming?” Steve asks, and the swoop returns, because not only is Steve asking, but he’s asking about Metallica, and Eddie’s gay, metal little heart can’t take it.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, grinning. “It’s so good, oh my god. I mean, it’s gonna take a bit to learn, but it’s gonna be the most metal solo I’ve ever done.”

Steve’s smile dims again. Probably because he’s remembering what happened last time, i.e., Eddie’s death. Eddie pushes down the queasy feeling.

“Eddie,” Eleven says.

“Yeah?”

She turns to face him. Her eyes are more serious than any twelve-year-old’s eyes have any right to be. “You will be okay,” she says. Then, apropos of nothing, “And I can move things with my mind.”

Eddie blinks at that. Apparently his face is doing something, because Steve chimes in. “She can.”

“I can show you,” she volunteers.

“Anything but the utensils,” Steve says in a distracted voice, like this isn’t the first time he’s had this conversation. Eddie wants to laugh hysterically, or maybe cry. Smoking a joint seems like the best third option, except all his stuff is at home. Fuck.

Then she does, lifts a whole cutting board—complete with tomatoes— and moves it over to him. He resists the impulse to snatch a piece and eat it. He doesn’t even like tomatoes, what the fuck, brain.

Steve’s watching with an amused little smile, like he can somehow read Eddie’s mind. That legitimately wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen today, so Eddie does his best to stop thinking about it, because he doesn’t think he can deal with more than one real-life superpower right now.

“I need that back, El,” Steve murmurs, and she grins at him before zipping it back over, stopping it just before it hits his face. He nods, brows raised, impressed. “Nice control. Put it down and go wipe your nose, please.”

She does, Steve watching her as she goes, fond little grin on his face. “She’s a good kid.”

“She can move things with her mind.”

“Yeah. Honestly, that’s one of the easier things to get used to. Y’know one of the craziest things, to me?”

“Do I want to know?” Eddie asks hesitantly.

Steve just grins at him. “Jonathan Byers has this baseball bat that he sticks a bunch of nails in.”

Eddie blinks at him. “What the actual fuck.”

Steve nods. “I took it, sometime back during the first year. Actually,” he thinks about it, “what month are we in?”

“Um. October.”

Steve winces. “Great. October…”

“Um. Twenty-fourth.”

Steve hums and thinks. “In about… less than a week, actually, I think—I don’t really know, the concussion messed up my days—oh, hey!” He suddenly says excitedly, then raises his voice. “Rob!”

Robin pops her head in a moment later. “What’s up?”

He grins at her. “No concussions!”

She stares. Slowly, a grin spreads across her face. “Holy shit!” She says. “No concussions!”

“No memory loss!”

“No hearing loss!”

“No eyesight problems!”

She freezes. “Steve. You were having vision issues?”

“Um. Not anymore?”

She groans. “Since when?”

“Um…” he thinks, tilting his head toward the ceiling. “Billy, I think. At least that’s the first time I really noticed it.”

She sighs. “I’m going to murder you.”

“Are not.”

“In cold blood.”

“Are not.”

“Nancy’ll help.”

Steve considers this. “She might. She’d be good at it.”

They both pause for a moment, then Robin turns to leave. “I’m gonna go make sure Jon doesn’t give you a concussion this time.”

“Have him make the nail bat, too!” Steve calls as she leaves.

“What,” Eddie says desperately, “the fuck.”

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#stranger things #if I should stay #pre steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #el hopper #Robin Buckley #platonic stobin #steve and el #el just wants to help #Eddie’s doing his best not to freak out every other second #he’s trying yall #starambles

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for calling my best friend a slut?

Ok, I know it sounds bad, but please hear me out. The story is more complex than it seems.

My best friend (20F) and I (20F) met in middle school and became inseparable ever since. Back then, I was more extroverted while she was really shy, so I guess I could say I was more "popular" than her? Although I don't like this word. During high school, I started to attract some male attention and even had one or two boyfriends, while she hadn't even had her first kiss yet. I knew that bothered her; she would say it was because I was so much prettier than her, while I knew that wasn't true. She was always beautiful, she just needed to get out of her shell.

And that's what happened in college. We applied for the same university and rented together a small apartment near campus. The dynamics between us really shifted after that: since she was away from her very religious and strict family, she was able to open up and become more confident in her own skin, while I was more focused on my studies, since I have a scholarship and need to always have good grades. That didn't bothered me, tho, I was happy she was having fun and discovering herself.

Then, at the start of this year, she started dating this amazing guy which we will call A (23M). He was very attentive and loving with her, so I was elated she finally found someone who cared so much about her. A was my best friend's first official boyfriend. He had an older brother too, let's call him B (24M) who would go with A to our apartment and we would all hang out together. B and I hit it off immediately; he had an acid sense of humor but managed not to be offensive, and he wasn't bad in the eyes either. I noticed my best friend would send us some weird looks while we were talking sometimes, but I didn't think anything of it.

Things went south when B and I hooked up one day and, when I told my best friend about it, she became furious. She said I was a terrible friend because, apparently, she was in love with B and I should have noticed. I was shocked; I noticed the weird looks but she and A seemed to be happy. I told her that and she said she was very confused and didn't know who she really liked it, but I should end whatever I had with B because the situation was bad enough.

I ended up doing what she said because I didn't want to have any problems with her since she's my best friend and we live together, and also because there wasn't anything serious between B and I. It's not like I was in love, so I wouldn't fight with her because of it.

Months passed. My best friend started to see B behind A's back and was always promising she would break up with A to stay with him, but she never did anything about it. She would also keep teeling me details about her intimate life with B, although I would always ask her to cut it off. She would say: "Why does it bother you? Do you like B?" And when I would say no, she would keep talking about it. She never said anything about her sex life with A, tho.

Then last month A found out about my best friend and B and broke up with her. B was also tired of this situation and ended things with her. Now she's single and the brothers don't talk to each other anymore.

Meanwhile, I started to see this guy from one of my classes which we'll call C (21M). He's also on my best friend's circle, but they're not close. We were good friends and, two months ago, he asked me out on a date, and we've been seeing each other since then. I decided not to tell my best friend about it, because after the whole B situation, I had a bad feeling. Until last month when C and I decided to go official and my best friend found out through her friends in common with C. She went after me, completely furious because, guess what? Exactly. She was in love with C and I was a terrible friend for not noticing.

I asked since when and she said that it was for months now, but she had just broken up with A and B. I told her that and she simply said it was complicated, but I should have known and now I should break up with C. This time, tho, I just laughed it off and said that in no way that would happen again. I gave up on B because it didn't matter, there was just attraction there, but I actually like C. She accused me of stealing her man and, in fear of saying something I would regret, I left home and went to C's. There I told him the whole situation with my friend, including her saying she was in love with him, and asked him if there was any flirtation or if he noticed something. He just laughed and said they never even had an one-to-one conversation before. After cooling off for a while, I decided to go back to my apartment and finish that conversation.

My best friend was waiting for me when I got back and I told her what C had said to me. She got furious that I told him about her being in love with him and accused me of trying to sabotage her. She also said I was jealous of her because I wasn't the prettiest friend anymore and that was why I would go after the boys she liked. She said she was only single because of me. Fed up with the whole situation, I said: "You're not single because of me. You're single because you're a slut." She got really hurt by it and started to cry. We didn't talk anymore during that day and, in the following morning, she announced she would look for another place to stay.

I don't think I'm TA for standing up for myself and not allowing her to spoil my relationship, but I think calling her a slut was out of line. However, I was angry and so tired of that whole situation that I just wanted to hurt her a bit, too.

So, AITA for calling her a slut?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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fxdizz-y · 1 year

Text

GHOST X GEN Z + GN!READER

A/N: Hiii first fanfic on tumblr kinda nervous😣 I'm not going to take request just yet this is all for my cravings💀🙏🙏 I'd love if you teach me scottish slang too!

Pairing: (mainly) Ghost x gn!reader || slight Task Force 141 x gn!reader

C/W: Strong language, age gap, fluff, kinda suggestive flirts, Ghost being a boomer, dark humor, no use of Y/N, your call sign is 'Spring' (the metal one), teasing, not in the same timeline as the game, they simping hard for each other

T/W: unhealthy habits (skin peeling around the nails etc)

(Don't mind the song I just listen to it while writing)

『••✎••』

Your life was dull, nothing seems to made you excited anymore. Don't get you wrong, you have an okay childhood, even though you had force yourself to grow up at some point but you didn't mind all that much.

Not like you ever did, you're that 'nice' kid that let people borrow their belongings and seems to don't hold grudges.

But in truth, you weren't that nice. No, you did hold grudges, the only reason you didn't say anything was because you knew that it'll be pointless to argue and you just over all wasn't a social kid.

When you finally hit off to high school, you instantly realized that it'll be hell.

And you weren't wrong.

You were one of those alt kids that wear band shirts and heavy eyeliners. Admittedly it was kind of fun.. But the bullying just drove you to the edge.

But those were memories in the past.

You're 23 now, fidgeting your fingers and scraping the dead skins on your nails, standing next to a woman with dirty blonde short hair.

Her icy blue eyes stare right ahead of you both. She had introduced herself earlier, her name is Kate Laswell.

You both were waiting for some dude to show up, apparently he's supposed to come and get you so you can officially be in his little group.

After what feels like years, a man finally make his way to you, or more likely, Laswell.

– "Price."

Laswell said, turning towards the man, you took a step behind Laswell, hiding yourself from the taller male.

– "Laswell."

The man greeted, before continue.

– "And where is this rookie?"

'Price' ask, his eyes scanning the room. Laswell scoff and give your back a harsh pat, making you step out of her shadow.

– "Price, this is Spring."

– "What."

Price look at you and back at Laswell, clearly hoping this was some sorts of joke.

Unluckily, Laswell eyes tell the truth.

– "For fuck sake, that's literally an INFANT! "

Price exclaim, gesturing towards you while keeping his eyes on Laswell.

You held yourself back from rolling your eyes, keeping your composure.

– "Where the fuck is your manners? You either take them or have troubles missing a skilled hacker."

Laswell snaps, glaring at Price.

The corner of your lips tug up at that, feeling happy and flustered.

Price groans and turns to you, looking at you up and down, judging you hard.

– "Oh my fuckin.. You know I can't just put a baby with the toddlers, the big boys can be mean sometimes."

– "The baby are the meanest, trust me."

Laswell sigh out, pushing you towards the captain.

Price sigh in defeat, before just nod at Laswell.

– "I'll take them"

He grumble before mentioning you to go outside, which you obeyed.

When you made it outside you wait for the captain, which come after you after a few moment.

He gesture to the car and you sat on the backseat.

He quirk a brow up but didn't question it.

The way to your new base felt like forever, especially when none of you decide to talk. So being you, you hums to yourself to MCR.

You were into your own little world and didn't noticed how Price glance at the mirror sometimes to look at you.

He didn't speak of course, just silently observing and quite enjoy this rather than painful silence.

After quite some time the car park at an unfamiliar base, well to you anyways.

You scrambled out the car and went back to fidgeting your fingers, scrapping and peeling off the skin around the nail etc.

Price glance at you and pat your shoulder, a quiet sign for you to follow.

You follow without hesitation, stuffing your hands in your camo pants pocket and let your eyes wander around the place, taking mental notes on which path leads to where since you figured you'll be staying here for awhile.

Each steps you take only make your excitement grows, something that you haven't felt this strong for ages.

Your eyes sparkle with wonders like a child again and you have a great feeling about this, despite your captain bad first impression.

You both walk into a room and the captain told you that your team would be meeting you when they arrive, so you sit on the small locker and swinging your legs, feeling nervous.

You didn't let your mind wandered for too long when the door swing open and 3 men walks in.

And good grief.

They were huge. And you didn't mean it in the dirty way.

Like literally. Especially the one in the back. Despite being behind the two other men you can clearly tell that he's the tallest and the biggest, his skull mask stands out as his eyes stare right into you, you feel absolutely fucking naked under them.

Price motion for you to get down and as you hop down you could almost feel your knees gave up.

– "Hello sailor.."

You mumbled, eyes glued to the tallest man in the room. You could tell that he's about 6'2" and a half.

Luckily Price didn't heard what you just mumbled and continue on introducing you to the team.

You smile cheapishly at all of them, deciding that it was enough eye candy.

– "Aye Rookie?"

A man with faux haircut call you, whom recently introduced himself as Soap wink at you playfully.

– "Name's Spring, sir."

You said, winking back, returning the energy.

– "What's with the name?"

Gaz ask, patting your back.

– "I can do em big jump, sir!"

You exclaim proudly.

Gaz look at you with mischief in his eyes, despite being older you can already tell this guy means good trouble.

Soap, who's probably the closest to your age sling his arm over your shoulder.

– "How 'bout yer show us hm?"

He said, letting his arm fall from your shoulder.

You nod and looking around, looking for a perfect thing you can jump on.

Before it lands on one and only Lieutenant.

Soap immediately notice and give you an unsure stare, knowing how Ghost hate physical touches.

– "Lieutenant?"

You call out, a fuzzy feeling form on your stomach.

And it explode into thousands butterflies when his eyes snaps to you, before they turns gentle.

It may look like he's glaring down at you but you both know that if you look close enough, you'd see the soft, gentleness in it. As if he's being careful to not scare you away. Or maybe it's your imagination.

You sure hope it's fucking not.

Ghost couldn't even believe it. He doesn't believe in this whole love at first sight deal. Just ridiculous.

And ironic isn't it, Lieutenant?

He wasn't listening to your chit chats before so when a soft voice calls out for him he was surprised.

And he craves more of your voice. He wanna hear you say his name.

And god you're so tiny standing in front of him.

You look so.. So fragile to him.

– "Uhm.. Sir?"

You call out again, slowly placing a hand on his arm, fucking desperate to get his attention back.

You definitely awoken something in him with that.

And you knew it when you can feel him tense up.

Ghost focus back on you again, nodding for you to do whatever you want.

Soap and Gaz was FLABBERGASTED.

L.T being soft? Man they whish they could record this right now.

But that'll be a dead wish.

You jog behind him, before running up to him and jump high. And holy shit.

You didn't lie.

You could almost jump over him.

But you didn't since there wasn't enough space, instead you land on his shoulder.

You would be concern for the neck you could broke but you weren't in your gears so you weren't heavy.

You cheers when you land on him, almost sending him to the floor.

He pause. Unsure how to feel.

#ghost call of duty #ghost riley #mw2 x reader #simon riley #call of duty x reader #x reader #gen z!reader #cod mw22 #call of duty modern warfare #task force 141 #gender neautral reader #Spotify

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mysticmellowlove · 5 months

Note

This a big bitch. Btw not proofread so some parts may be grammatically incorrect.

Yan x fem reader who is just kinda at her limit. She is always so giving and soft with him, she loves him and loves treating him like the good boy he is. She never wants to hurt his feelings, but recently she has just kinda been pent up from everything else in life and slightly takes it out on him.. not that he would really mind anyway. She just kinda wants him to fuck the stress out of her sometimes yk? I imagine they are doing the tango or whatever and as she’s fondling him she just starts getting a little… prickly. “You say you will always protect me but I worry you won’t be able to if you can’t even hold yourself together around me.” He whimpers while looking at her feeling the intensity of her hand around his heavy leaking cock. She then continues: “I mean you don’t even have enough strength to fuck me right. I have to do all the work. You say you love to worship me but I’m the one always giving you the attention.” He now groans. “I’ve been thinking that maybe I should find another man, a man that can actually serve me- one that has the strength to protect me and worship me.” He is a dirty slut so he just whimpers and groans a little teary-eyed.

She realizes he’s not getting the fucking message and just thinks she joking (which she is but she wants to see how far she can push him ofc) so she proceeds to say: “Maybe I’ll even find a woman. (His eyes immediately switch to her) Women could please me.I mean she has all the same parts I do, she could actually hit my G spots unlike you.” That’s what hits him. She always told him she was straight so it was funny to her that the mention of a women would get him to actually seem shocked and slightly terrified.

Oh no not the mention of another man fucking her because he knows that would never happen, but a women? He doesn’t even think about the facts he can only think about a women pleasing his women. “ Mommy stop it your being mean.” “Maybe buy a strap on that will actually fill me up unlike your cock.” He is seeing red by now because he actually realizes what she just said. Is he not pleasing her? Is she getting bored? Is he being lazy?

(He worships her all day long I mean he is literally a slave for her- she says get her water with rose shaped ice cubes he will make it happen he just loves submitting to her and she loves it) He can’t take it anymore. He flips her over and looks at her. “I said don’t say that Mommy! You can’t fuck anyone else I’m the only one!” He takes her pants off. “I can please you I promise you don’t need some dirty whore some dirty filthy man!”

He takes her panties off and can only think of making her scream his name at this point. “ You’re mine! Don’t ever think about anyone else Mommy. Mine!” He is going as deep and as hard as he can. Looking at her to see if she’s responding. “My cock is big enough see! It fills you all the way up!” Her eyes are literally rolling to the back of her head because nothing turns her on more than her submissive little slave getting a little courage now and then.

Of course since he’s a little slut he can’t last too long so he begins whimpering and whining from pure pleasure. “Mommy mommy please mommy only me I’m good I swear don’t leave me mommy.”

After that he is basically a hiccuping whimpering mess. He is blissed out in pleasure and a little bit of doubt because was she telling the truth? She’s never been mean like that before. She can tell she got him questioning his existence rn so she pulls him into the crevice of her neck and he begins to sob. “Oh baby you know you’re the only person I could ever love- ever give myself too. I just wanted to see what you could do.” While kissing his head. He eventually stopped crying and nodded into as they fell asleep.

I just thought about this on a car ride the other day because I was feeling a bit bitchy and stressed. Anyway….

Xoxo, 🍪

note; cookie this is so fucking hot what the hell, honestly I'll take whatever you're having because this is literally perfect. this was a whole meal on its own.

sub who actually got scared for once, he doesn't even realise you're goading him he's just so scared that you'd actually think of leaving him.

even when he's fucking you as hard as he can he can't help but beg you to keep him. maybe if he tries harder then you won't think like this anymore. collar him, brand him, anything! just don't leave him for someone else.

he promises he can be better, he'll research how to make you feel good, he'll try and take control sometimes. just tell him what you want and he can do it for you!

even after you two are done for the night the thought festers in his head, he thinks about it all through the night and into the morning. he's basically at your feet the entire day after, just waiting for you to even hint at wanting something.

even weeks from now he'll go out and buy stuff for you. relaxing bath salts, food, sweet date ideas, candles and pillows and blankets and plushies! anything you want! you want books, you want puzzles? how about something that ties into your hobby?

he just wants to solidify his place in your life. see, he can be better. he can be the best! if only you'll continue to love him and only him.

#love for anon #sub male #dom reader #drabble #sub yandere #yandere male

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jackhues · 5 months

Text

you can miss it - mockingbird! au (platonic! hughes)

requested by: @rowdyhughesy

summary: in which y/n wonders what life could've been like if her parents were better

notes: continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3, this takes place in may/june. 2024

likes are good, reblogs are better <3

mockingbird! au request rules!|| mockingbird au! masterlist

gif not mine

"how about your aunt from colarado?" you asked, going down the list of random hughes members you'd heard of.

"which aunt?" jack responded.

"the one that gifted ellen that green vase," you reminded him. "are we inviting her to the wedding?"

jack thought about it, "i mean, we can invite her. i don't think she'll come honestly. she's like my mom's something cousin, i can't remember."

"we'll at least invite her," you decided, jotting that down on the second list.

you and jack were sitting on the couch in the lake house, trying to get together the final guest list for your wedding. there were still a few months left, and most invites had even gone out. but with so few people coming from your side, there was still space for more of jack's relatives.

"do we have to invite her?" luke asked, sitting on the floor in front of the couch. "she's always complaining and telling me to cut my hair."

"it's her or aunt griselda," quinn told him, leafing through the invites. "take your pic."

luke made a face, "neither is better, but i'll take the green vase lady."

you and jack shivered, remembering 'aunt griselda'. she was just some random neighbour or something who called herself the boys 'aunt', and often pinched their ears. she was not fun.

"wait, do you guys even know the green vase lady's name?" you asked the boys.

luke looked at jack, who looked at quinn, who tilted his head in thought.

"honestly, i have no idea," he realized. "we've always just called her aunt, or that one from colorado."

"well, i guess we're not inviting her," jack took the list from your hands and crossed out 'colorado aunt'.

you sighed, wondering what it would be like to have so many relatives that you didn't even know their names.

after cutting contact with your dad, your mom decided she didn't want to talk to you either. you had a feeling your mom was left no choice by your dad, but sometimes you wished she'd pick you over him.

if you had a better relationship with either of them, then you'd have someone to walk you down the aisle.

you loved jack and his family, truly. they were everything you didn't have growing up. but sometimes, you just wished you could've had that feeling of love your whole life.

you wished that your dad cared about you, that your mom tried harder for you, that they both loved you and showed it.

you dreamed of them being present on this big day, with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes. you dreamed of your dad warning your husband not to hurt you, but then hugging you both and saying he wouldn't trust anyone else with his daughter.

you dreamed to have an uncle who was going to drink more than he should and then flirt with his wife, you dreamed to have cousins who'd be dancing even after the music was off, you dreamed to have little kids who'd hide in your dress and ask you not to leave with your husband.

they were such small things, but it seemed to hit you that you weren't going to have these moments.

all because your parents failed you growing up.

jack nudged you softly, "what's on your mind?"

you looked up, snapping out of it. "nothing."

it wasn't anything. you'd chosen to give up contact, and they'd chosen to pretend you don't exist anymore. you'd accepted that, and you were okay with them not being in your life.

"y/n, you've been a part of this family for years now, and you're going to legally become a part of this one in only a few months," quinn looked up. "even if it's stupid, you can tell us what's on your mind. i assure you, jack and luke have stupider things on their mind at any given moment."

you smiled as luke threw a pillow at quinn, ducking quickly to avoid retaliation.

"i was just being emotional," you shrugged. "like, growing up, i always thought my mom and dad would be here, on my wedding day. i didn't expect much from them, but i imagined them being there and being happy for me. i guess i always dreamed of our relationship becoming better by that point. but now... it's not like i want all of the stress again. it wasn't healthy and i don't regret cutting them out. i just, sometimes i wish they were better parents."

your voice grew soft at the end, but you realized how much better you'd gotten at communicating. before meeting the hughes, you'd often bottled everything up. you never spoke your mind, and you were forced to keep your opinions to yourself.

but now, you were proud at how well you'd explained your rambly thought process to the boys. you wished you'd had the love of parents growing up, but you didn't want them back in your life right now.

quinn smiled a little, tapping your hand in comfort.

"just because they weren't good to you, doesn't mean you're not allowed to wish they had been," he said.

"you're allowed to miss them," jack assured you. "you can miss them, and not want them in your life because of everything they did. there's nothing wrong with that."

"we're always going to support you, y/n/n," luke promised. "whatever you want, whatever you feel. we're here."

you smiled, wiping the corners of your eyes. "you're all so sweet and mushy, you're making me cry. oh god, i'm going to end up ruining my makeup on my wedding day because of you three."

"there's still months until that," luke waved it off. "we'll be sure to be even more sweet and mushy and get all the tears out before the wedding day."

"god, i love you three idiots."

---

tags:

@svechnikovvv , @hockeyboysarehot , @mysticaldonkey , @lam-ila , @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @moldenhauers , @hischierdevils , @jackhughesily , @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @hischierhaze , @cinnamonpancakes , @luvmmarner , @lifeofpriya , @marshmallow-babe , @starsandhughes , @thatoneblog , @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94 , @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj , @fandom-oneshots-etc , @ajbird18 , @cherrysodadevils , @cixrosie , @xcicix , @wbkz3gras , @cole-mcward48 , @idontlikelizards , @bitchy55 , @privatemythss , @shaysucksatlife , @dancerbailey3

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brbsoulnomming · 7 months

Text

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies Part 23

-----

They're on the front page for about a week.

They run the stories of Hopper and Henry Creel simultaneously - honestly, Eddie kind of thinks the fact that Hopper was presumed dead and is now back makes it easier for people to believe a previously assumed dead guy is the top suspect for the murders.

Eddie gets barely a mention clearing him of all charges. There's a couple of articles about him and Steve fighting off Henry Creel, but the focus is more on Steve than anything else.

Steve bitches about it, about how they did the same thing after Starcourt, but Eddie's kind of glad his name isn't plastered all over the place anymore.

He and Steve are down in the kitchen scrounging up celebratory snacks and beers - Steve has a clean bill of health, and Eddie's stitches are coming out in a few days - when the phone rings.

"Harrington residence, this is Steve speaking," he greets.

Eddie barely has time to decide he's absolutely going to tease him about that later when the response comes - loud enough for him to hear it.

"Steven, my boy!" the voice booms, spirited and affable.

Steve closes his eyes, the muscles in his jaw tightening. "Hi, Dad."

"We just heard the news!" Steve's father says. "Why didn't you call to tell us? Did the earthquake damage anything?"

Part of Eddie thinks he should leave. Or at least back away, so he can't hear everything that's being said - but the other part of him thinks that Steve'd push him away if he didn't want him here, and with how tense Steve's gone next to him, Eddie can't bring himself to pull away.

"The house is fine," Steve says. "Loch Nora didn't get hit at all."

"Good, good," Mr. Harrington says. "Your mother hears you and Rachel have been volunteering with the relief efforts?"

Eddie didn't think it was possible, but Steve goes even stiffer.

"Robin," he corrects, his tone smooth and entirely void of inflection. "Yes, we've been coordinating donations."

"That's what I want to hear!" There's a sound like a loud clap. "I'm glad to see you're taking this seriously. You had a lot of ground to make up for, but it seems giving you a dose of reality has paid off. We'll be able to have some real talks about your future soon. What? Oh, your mother wants to talk to you."

There's a shuffling noise, then a quieter and much less friendly voice greets, "Steven."

"Hey Mom," Steve's posture relaxes a little. "I told Dad we made it out okay."

There's some kind of response, but Steve's mom is too quiet for Eddie to make it out.

"No, of course I didn't file charges. I knew you'd want to handle it if anything else happened." A pause. "Yes, that Carver. Mom, it's not - yeah. Yeah, okay. No, it's just him. I think he's just mad that people listened to me and not him. Yeah, I - all right. Bye."

He hangs up the phone, leaning in with one arm braced against the wall, a long line of tension.

"Steve?" Eddie says quietly.

Steve turns to face him, giving a little crooked smile. "You can ask if you want. I don't mind you and Robin knowing. It's… easier sometimes, if she expects it, and it's probably the same with you."

Eddie aches a little. "What was your dad talking about? What ground to make up for?"

Steve makes a face. "I did a lot of damage to the Harrington image the last bit of high school, you know. Stopped caring about my reputation, didn't get accepted into any of the colleges they wanted me to go to, kept getting into fights."

"But that wasn't - did they even ask you what actually happened?" Eddie asks.

"They don't care what actually happened," Steve replies. "Just what it looked like. Like I said, it's all about appearances with them. My dad's the main reason I worked at Scoops instead of being a lifeguard again last summer - he says it's because I needed a real life experience, learn what it means to work at the bottom, but he was just pissy and trying to humiliate me. He talks a big game about working hard, but all he really cares about is how I make them look. Now that I've gotten good press twice, he's happy again."

Eddie's mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. "He didn't even ask if you were okay."

Steve shrugs. "I looked fine in the papers."

Right.

Appearances.

"Will you be mad at me if I punch your dad if I ever see him?" Eddie asks.

Steve laughs, a surprised little sound like he's startled by it. "No," he says. "But only if I get to punch yours for leaving you."

Oh.

If Eddie was thinking about it, he'd have moved slowly, making sure to telegraph what he was doing so he didn't startle Steve, but he reacts on instinct and pulls Steve into a hug.

Steve doesn't even flinch at the sudden motion. He just melts into it, letting Eddie wrap him up and hold him tightly. His arms come up to cross over Eddie's shoulder blades, the placement automatically mindful of his injuries in the way only someone who's bandaged them multiple times could be.

"Sometimes I wish they just wouldn't call at all," Steve admits, face buried in Eddie's neck. It comes out in a rush, like he hadn't really thought about it before he said it, but he's getting it out anyway. "That they'd just cut me out of their life, instead of stringing me along."

"Fuck them," Eddie says. "I've got you."

He can hear Steve swallow, and Steve hugs him tighter.

They stay like that for a long while, until Eddie finally pulls back.

"Hey," he says softly. "I'll get the food and stuff. Go upstairs and see Robin."

Steve looks uncertain. "You sure?"

Eddie hugs him one more time. "You've got two soulmates," he murmurs. "Let us take care of you a little, okay?"

Steve squeezes him tight, then lets go with a nod before heading upstairs.

Eddie dithers in the kitchen for a bit, taking an extra long time. Whatever his complicated feelings are, it doesn't bother him at all to give Steve and Robin some space like this.

They're talking when he comes back, which isn't a surprise, and he hears his own name as he gets closer to the bedroom. Eddie pauses, even though he shouldn't, listening through the cracked door. He'll feel worse about it later, probably, but right now the masochistic side of him can't resist the urge to know what they're saying about him.

"I want him so much, Robs," he hears Steve saying, low and soft like he's trying to be quiet.

"I know," Robin replies, her tone somehow managing to be both gentle and snarky at the same time. "It's kind of pathetic."

Steve lets out a muffled groan. "Not helping. I don't exactly have the greatest track record at being able to get over people! I thought, with my soulmate-"

He cuts off, and Eddie can't help the bubbling anger that springs up. Steve thought? Has he stopped for one second to think about how Eddie might feel, only ever having a platonic soulmate? Wanting him just as bad and not being able to have him, not being able to have anyone?

"-someone else?" Robin is saying, like she's reading his thoughts, and Eddie has to hold his breath as he makes sure he hadn't accidentally said that outloud.

"I don't want anyone else," Steve says miserably. "Just him. I think - I think it's always going to be him. Fuck, why does this have to be so complicated?"

There's a heavy, thick silence, and Eddie's anger simmers and crackles under his skin, the way it always does when there's a hefty mixing of guilt in it.

"Do you think-" Robin starts, then stops. "Do you wish-" She stops again, voice thick with emotion. "Would it be easier if we-"

"No," Steve says, cutting her off at the same time that Eddie realizes what she's probably trying to bring herself to ask.

There's the muffled sound of shuffling, quiet hitching breaths - probably the motions of Steve trying to reassure one of his soulmates that he wants her, and he imagines him gathering her close, pressing soft kisses anywhere he can reach, cutting off anything she tries to say with a deeper, fiercer kiss.

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes copper to keep himself from making some kind of sound to give himself away. He hates that he doesn't know what he's feeling - hates that he thinks he's jealous of Robin just as much as he doesn't feel jealous of her, not really. He's jealous of the images he conjures when he thinks about them together, but he's never actually jealous when he's with them, when he watches them.

That reminder makes him shift, peeking through the cracked door so he can see them. They're sitting facing each other, legs all tangled together. One of Steve's hands is covering Robin's heart, and the other is curled around one of Robin's hands, pinning it to his chest over his own heart, and their foreheads are pressed together.

Something in Eddie settles in a way he can't explain, all thoughts of jealousy gone.

"There's no me without you," Steve is saying. "You're a part of me, Robs, I can't do this without either of you."

She says something too muffled for Eddie to make out.

"I'm happy. I really am, I promise. I love you, I love us, exactly the way we are. And with Eddie-"

Eddie leans forward, too desperate to know what he's going to say to worry about being caught.

"I don't need anything else other than just him. However I can have him. If it's never romantic, if this is us forever - it doesn't matter, not really. I just need you and him, and the kids, and I'm good."

There's silence, the two of them just completely wrapped up in each other, and fuck, Eddie - he thinks you know what, if this is it, if what he has is Steve and Robin and the kids forever, then he's good, too.

"I love you, Robin Buckley," Steve says. "In a way I never realized was possible, until you and that dumb kid showed up in my life and taught me that you don't have to do anything to earn someone's love. That sometimes, it's just unconditional."

Steve was sixteen when he fought his first demogorgon, Eddie remembers that. Which means he couldn't have been any younger than that when he started really spending any time with Dustin or Robin, which means - the same thing that Eddie went through when he first moved in with Uncle Wayne, the thing that was so impossible for him to believe at twelve, Steve wasn't shown until he was probably seventeen.

Fuck, his heart aches.

"Does Henderson know he was your first true love?" Robin asks, her voice a little wet, but obviously trying to make things a little lighter.

Steve laughs, the sound just a bit thick. "No, and he'd be insufferable if I told him."

There's the faint sting of a new lie being written on the back of his calf, and the second he registers it, he hears Robin's startled laughter. Eddie pulls back from the door, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out, trying to get himself back under control.

"Oh my God, Steve, you did tell him! When?"

He can hear Steve sputtering and deflecting, the sound of Robin smacking him and Steve scrambling - probably trying to avoid them - and if there was ever going to be a good time to announce his return after shamelessly listening in for too long, now is probably it.

Eddie pushes open the door, six pack under one arm and bags of popcorn and chips under the other as he shoots a hopefully only slightly manic grin at them. "What's Steve lying about now?"

"Nothing!" Steve says too quickly.

Sloppy, for him, considering Eddie knows how good Steve usually is at using sarcasm or half truths to avoid telling lies, so Eddie tosses the bag of popcorn at him.

He catches it easily, of course, but it means he's now vulnerable to Robin's attacks, and he has to swerve to avoid another slap to his shoulder.

"Steve's trying to pretend like we both didn't get that lie, too," Robin says.

Steve groans. "Fine, Jesus. It was back when we were waiting at the camper, and Dustin was upset. I told him that he was the first person who was ever just - there, in my life because he wanted to be, even after he didn't need me to fight demodogs. No one could ever replace him."

"You're such a sap, Steve," Eddie teases him as he comes to sit next to him and Robin.

"Shut up," Steve grumbles. "That's it, I'm picking the movie."

—

The next day, Lucas and Max swing by. Steve hauls a basketball stand out of the garage and sets it up in the driveway, and Eddie sits at the kitchen table, eating a bologna sandwich while he watches them play.

It's safer inside, where there's no one to see if he gets affected by Steve's tank top and shorts.

Or at least, he thought it was safer inside.

"Do you love Steve?" Max asks, plopping down beside him.

Eddie chokes on his Coke, and she stares at him unsympathetically until he manages to breathe again.

"He's my soulmate, so." Eddie shrugs.

Max gives him an unimpressed look, and yeah, okay, he figures they both know soulmates aren't a guarantee of anything. Eddie's parents were soulmates, after all, loved each other more than anything else in this world, and that still hadn't been enough.

"I wanted him to be my soulmate before I knew it was him," he admits, because that's a more true answer without actually having to say yes or no. "Nothing's happened since to change that."

She gets this look on her face like she's trying to decide if that's an acceptable response. After a moment, she rests her chin on her knees, staring out the window, and Eddie figures he's in the clear.

"Steve has two soulmates," she says after a while. "You don't. Doesn't that make you feel - I don't know, like you aren't enough?"

"Jesus Christ, Red, you're not pulling any punches today, are you?" Eddie swears.

He doesn't actually want to have this conversation. It's not something he's completely sorted out on his own, yet, even though he's done a lot of thinking on it, and he's tempted to tell her to mind her own business.

But she won't look at him, and he knows why she's asking. She's not talking about him and Steve and Robin, not really.

He thinks about telling her something standard about soulmates, or maybe even the advice that his uncle gave him, but it doesn't feel right.

"It's not what I always imagined," Eddie admits slowly.

Max doesn't say anything, but he watches the way she starts to unwind a little, how she doesn't hold herself so stiff, tilts a little to actually listen to what he's saying.

"You know Steve and I talked to each other when we were younger. We thought the same way about a lot of stuff, and I had this idea in my head that he was some little outcast like me, in another small town somewhere out there, that we'd move to a big city and find each other. But then we stopped talking."

"How come?" Max asks, looking caught up despite herself.

Eddie grins at her, wide and self depreciating. "I found out he was probably some rich, popular jerk, and decided I hated him."

And there's that unimpressed look again.

"Yeah, yeah," Eddie grumbles. "Let's just say there might be some truth to not talking with your soulmate before you actually meet them. Point is, for almost five years, I hated my soulmate. Thought the best I could hope for was that we'd meet when we were thirty and ancient, and maybe then he would have changed. Then a little while ago, I met Steve."

Max's brows furrow. "You met Steve way before that."

"Nah," he says. "I knew of Steve. I had a lot of assumptions about him, knew what I thought he was, but I didn't know the real Steve. That Steve I met when he helped explain all of this to me and didn't make me feel stupid for not picking up some of it right away, even after I held a broken bottle to his throat."

She snorts, but looks like she's considering that. "I met him when he was putting himself between me, Lucas, and Dustin and a hoard of demodogs, a couple of hours after calling them dickheads and me some random girl."

Eddie salutes her with his can of Coke, half in understanding and half to cover the way his heart wants to melt again. "That Steve was nothing like I imagined my soulmate to be, when I was daydreaming about him or hating him. But I knew I didn't want anyone else, and Steve having another soulmate doesn't change that. I don't think it makes what he feels for me any less than what I feel for him, and I don't think it means I'm less important to him than he is to me."

Max frowns. "Really, or are you just saying that?"

"Really," Eddie says, though he hadn't actually been sure it was true until he heard himself say it. "I'm not saying it's not hard sometimes. And sometimes I get in my head about it. But I wouldn't change it. Steve wouldn't be the same without Robin, you know? He wouldn't be the Steve that made me want him to be my soulmate so bad."

There's a long moment of silence. Then, "Would you be saying that if both of his soulmates were romantic?"

Eddie's glad he stopped drinking, because he knows he would have choked again. For a split second, she wonders if she's picked up on - but no, that still isn't what this about. "Are both of yours romantic?"

Her jaw juts forward, arms hugging tighter around her knees. "What if they were?"

Fuck, he doesn't know what to say to that. "It's okay to like both guys and girls," he says, because he feels like that's the most important bit. "I do. I mean, mostly guys, but sometimes girls."

Her grip loosens a little, but she still doesn't say anything.

"It sounds like maybe I'm not the one you should be talking to about that," he says carefully.

She scowls. "I talked to Steve already."

Right, of course she did.

"What did Steve say?"

"Steve said he thinks the line between platonic and romantic soulmates isn't as straightforward as people like to pretend it is. That sometimes what you might think should be romantic is actually platonic, and sometimes what you think should be platonic is romantic, and sometimes there's going to be things that blur the lines and you don't really know which one it is. He said it was okay to have two platonic or two romantic or one of each or, like, any combination." She makes a face here, like she's not entirely sure what he meant by any combination - or like she was sure, and didn't need that much detail. "That as long as everyone was communicating, it was okay to do whatever worked for us."

Eddie swallows. "Steve sounds pretty smart."

Max rolls her eyes. "He has his moments."

"So… are you communicating with Lucas and El?" he asks.

She picks at a rip in her jeans. "I talked to Lucas."

He waits, but it seems like that's all he's going to get. He starts to ask what Lucas said, but… he gets the feeling that it's not necessarily about what he said or not.

"But it's Lucas," Eddie says. "And you wanted to hear how someone else in a familiar situation felt."

Eddie gets that familiar, itchy feeling that he does when he wants to run, and he only barely resists the urge to bounce his leg up and down. It's not that he wants to run from Max, or even from this conversation, it's just - it's starting to make him think about things, and he really, really doesn't want an audience for this. He wants to lock himself in a room and pace, listen to some music, maybe scribble out his thoughts, something to get his hands moving and his brain in some kind of order -

"Even if Steve wanted both of us romantically," he says, knowing it's close enough that it's not a lie. "I would still rather be his soulmate than anyone else."

Max looks at him with narrowed eyes for a long moment. "I'm gonna ask Steve if you lied about that."

Eddie fixes her with an unimpressed look right back. "You think I'd do that to him?"

"You better not." There's an edge of menace in her tone, but she lets it go, so Eddie figures she doesn't really think he'd lie about something like that knowing it would be etched on Steve's skin forever.

Silence stretches between them, and Eddie follows her gaze out the window, watching Steve and Lucas playing basketball.

"I've put him through so much already," Max says, so quietly that he can barely hear it.

Fuck, Eddie is so fucking soft for these kids.

"You have not," Eddie says immediately. "You haven't done a goddamn thing, Red. Both of you have already been through so much, and it's not because of something either of you did. It's fucking Hawkins."

She doesn't look convinced, so Eddie pushes his shoulder against hers.

"Lucas is smart. He's more emotionally intelligent than I am-" Max snorts at him, and he's reasonably sure he hears her mutter something along the lines of like that's hard, but he ignores her. "He knows what he can take and what he can't. All you have to do is believe him when he tells you it."

She's quiet for a moment, looking contemplative. Then she asks, "Does that work for you?"

Right, yeah, okay, he deserved that one. He thinks about deflecting, but -

"I'm trying," he admits quietly. "What do you think, huh, you gonna let me beat you there or are we gonna do this together?"

Max glances out the window again, then turns to look back at him, her chin jutting out. "Steve loves too much, and he gets it thrown back at him too often. I don't think he really believes that we love him as much as he loves us, even though we do."

She says it like a threat, like she's saying if you tell him I said that I will kill you or maybe if you hurt him I will kill you. Either way, he'd be dead.

"I'll talk to Lucas and El, and you make sure you don't disappoint him."

Goddamn if that doesn't stab right to the heart of him, lodging itself beneath his ribcage and sticking right into the parts that'd already made him want to run from this conversation.

"Okay," he manages to get out, because he's not sure he'll survive any other answer.

Max nods. "Good talk," she tells him, and then she pushes herself up and she's gone.

Eddie stays there, mulling all of that over. He doesn't think she'd actually tell Steve anything they just talked about, nor does he think she really has any idea that Steve had asked him to make their bond romantic and he'd turned him down. Honestly, Eddie could probably get away with patting himself on the back for actually managing to give some decent advice and be the person she'd needed him to be for just a little while, then go on being a very devoted platonic soulmate for Steve.

Except even if Max doesn't really know, Eddie does. And now Eddie's thinking about things he doesn't want to, and wondering how much of a hypocrite some of the advice that he gave her makes him, and -

"Hey," Lucas says, and Eddie yelps.

Lucas raises his eyebrows at him.

"Jesus Christ, don't do that," Eddie bitches.

There's a little smirk, but fortunately, Lucas doesn't actually comment on it. "You talk to Max?" he asks instead.

"Yeah," Eddie replies, narrowing his eyes at him.

Lucas lights up, though, his whole face practically beaming with his smile. "Good. I figured it'd help her to hear that your soulmate cares about you no matter what from someone who wasn't me."

Eddie raises one eyebrow. "How do you know that's what I said?"

Lucas rolls his eyes. "Because you're Steve's soulmate. If that wasn't the way you felt, Robin would know, and she'd have already murdered you."

Eddie considers that. "Okay, fair."

Lucas makes his way over to the fridge, yanking it open and standing in front of it as he peers in. "So what did you tell her?"

Eddie sits back, waiting until Lucas turns to look back at him so he can shoot him a wide, smug grin. "If she wants you to know, she'll tell you."

He gets a glare in return, but Lucas doesn't protest that, just leans back in to grab a pair of Gatorades from the fridge. He twists the top off of one, taking a long swallow before he shuts the door and starts back out of the kitchen, giving him a little nod as he passes.

"Hey, Lucas?" Eddie calls before he can leave.

Lucas pauses, looking quizzically at him.

"I'm guessing you talk to Steve like Max does, about all this." Eddie makes an exaggerated gesture between them and out the kitchen window, meant to loop all of them in together. "But, uh. You know. If you ever want a different perspective, from someone in kind of your position."

He motions to himself, then splays his hands out all ta-da.

Lucas hesitates, lingering in the middle of the kitchen before he seems to make a decision.

"I was kind of upset about it when I first found out Max's other soulmate was El," he admits. "It was right after Billy died, and their soulmate bond was new, and Max kept letting El in while she was shutting me out. And I was angry, and jealous, and then when El had to leave and Max kept pushing me away, I just kept thinking that if El was here Max wouldn't be by herself so much, that the wrong soulmate got to stay in Hawkins."

Lucas pauses, twisting the Gatorades in his hand, but Eddie gets the feeling it's a gathering his thoughts pause more than a waiting for Eddie to say something pause.

"Eventually I realized that El could help Max in a way that I couldn't, and that maybe that was the point. I started calling El a little, too, when the phone wasn't busy, and just - El was grieving, too. I didn't want to feel jealous over something that helped them both anymore. It's been good with El back, really good. I don't know if I like El like that, but if Max does-" he shrugs. "I guess I kind of already got over the jealousy bit. It doesn't really matter to me if they kiss while they're having sleepovers or not, as long as they don't exclude me."

Now it seems like a waiting for Eddie to say something pause, so he gives a soft little hum. "What do you do if you end up feeling excluded?"

Lucas blinks, like he wasn't expecting that question. "Uh. Well, before, I talked to my parents and sometimes to Steve or Robin or Dustin. It's hard talking to Mike or Will about it because they're not all that objective about El stuff. I don't… really know if I want to tell my parents about Max and El like that yet, so I guess… talk to Steve or Robin or Dustin." He pauses, then, more tentatively, "Or you?"

Fuck, these kids keep getting to him. "Or me," he agrees easily. "But you should probably also add talk to Max and El to that list."

Lucas makes a face, but doesn't disagree. "I don't think a lot of the others know about Max," he says instead. "Just me and Steve and Robin, and now you."

There's an edge to his voice, like he's pretty sure Eddie must be safe if Max told him, but he's ready to fight him about it anyway.

"Max knows about me, now, so we're even," Eddie replies, pleased that the effort he puts into making sure his voice sounds steady pays off.

"Yeah?" Lucas asks. "Who else knows?"

"Steve and Robin. And now Max and you," Eddie replies.

Lucas lights up a little. "Cool."

"Cool," Eddie echoes, even though he feels a little shaky from the fact that he's now said it twice today, which is double the amount of times he's ever said it before at all.

There's a comfortable silence for a moment.

"It's complicated, being in our position," Eddie says after a bit. "I think it's always going to be complicated. But if we let it - I think it could be really great, too. Most people only end up in pairs, but us? We get a whole damn party of interconnected soulmates."

"A party of soulmates," Lucas says thoughtfully, then grins. "Yeah, I like that."

"You're a good kid, Lucas," Eddie tells him, not sure if he really needs to hear it, but he still remembers the way it made him feel when Uncle Wayne said it.

Lucas ducks his head, looking a little pleased, even though he follows it up with a sidelong look. "Even though I'm kind of a jock?"

Eddie shrugs. "My soulmate is a whole jock. I guess that means I've got a little jock in me, too."

Lucas's expression shifts, turning mischievous, and suddenly he looks like the fifteen year old boy he is, and not a world-weary adult. It's nice, it's wonderful, Eddie loves to see it, except it makes him realize what he just said far, far too late to do anything about it.

In his defense, they were having a serious discussion, and -

Yeah, he's got nothing.

Maybe it'll be fine? Lucas is probably the most mature out of all of the boys, maybe -

"I don't know, man," Lucas says, slowly, like he's actually considering that. "We've all heard the rumors about Steve. I don't think it's something little you're gonna be dealing with."

Eddie gapes at him.

"I said you were mature," he bemoans, flinging his upper body over the top of the kitchen table just to make Lucas laugh harder. "I told Max you were emotionally intelligent! Begone from my sight!"

Lucas takes his Gatorades and leaves, still laughing at him.

—

"Max cornered me in the kitchen to threaten me today," Eddie says.

Steve snorts. "Of course she did. What about?"

Eddie shrugs, waiting for Steve to look at him so he can waggle his eyebrows at him. "She also threatened to kill me if I told you."

Steve shoves him, and Eddie falls back dramatically, sprawling out on the couch. He props himself up on his elbows to look at Steve, but he doesn't seem inclined to actually push him to reveal what he and Max talked about. Instead, Steve goes about shutting down for the night, checking to make sure all the windows and the sliding glass door are locked.

"Soulmate stuff," Eddie says. Or more like blurts out, before he can change his mind, to force himself to have to keep going. "She told me what you said about the line between platonic and romantic soulmates. Made me think about some things."

"Yeah?" Steve asks, stopping by the couch to look at him.

"Do you still want me, Steve?" Eddie asks, his heart in his throat.

He isn't prepared for Steve to shut down, for the way his face goes cold and hard and blank.

"Not cool, Eddie," Steve says, turning away and going back to the windows in the living room.

Eddie pushes himself up off the couch, then immediately doubts himself and sits back down. "Steve, what?"

Steve won't look at him, and he can hear the window locks rattling with the force that Steve's using to check them. "You're being a dick, man, come on. You can't ask me stuff like that."

"I-" he starts, then stops, his mind scrambling a little. Is he too late? Did Steve move on already, even though he told Robin that he wasn't going to? Is Eddie so easy to get over that even his fucking soulmate couldn't keep him? "What happened to it's always going to be him, huh?"

"Jesus Christ," Steve says, incredulous, and Eddie kind of wants to cry a little because he knows that Steve has started saying that more because of all the time they've spent together. "You were listening to me and Robin? What the fuck, man, you still think it's fair to throw that at me?"

"Fuck you, Steve, I know it wasn't a lie when you said that. Am I so fucking easy to just stop wanting, or are you that fucking fickle?"

"Eddie, goddamn, is this - were you testing me? Is this you lashing out at me again? Because I can't, okay, not about this, I can't-" he cuts off, one hand scrubbing over his face. "I told you, I can't."

Oh.

Oh fuck.

"Steve, no, I wasn't teasing, I - it was a real question."

Steve stills, pausing right by a window. The light of the moon catches on him, highlighting parts of him in pale silver while the rest of him is warmed from the soft yellow of the living room lamp. "Seriously?"

"Come on, Steve. I just picked a fight with you instead of asking what you meant, and you're surprised I'm not sure you still want me anymore?"

Eddie can hear Steve breathing out, then in, then back out again, watches as he lets some of the tension bleed out of his body. "I think I picked some of that fight right back. I'm sorry, I just - all right, let's go back, and I'll listen without making assumptions, okay?"

Yeah, okay, Eddie can do that.

"Max told me what you said," Eddie starts again. "And it made me think about how smart you are." He wishes Steve were closer, so he could see his face better, at the same time as he wishes he couldn't see it at all. "How brave you are. How when you know what you want, you go for it, how you fight to keep it, how you own up when you make a mistake, how you work so hard to make all this work."

This is Eddie trying to be brave, he thinks. Trying to go for what he wants, to accept that they're going to have to work at this, that he's probably going to get hurt, that he has to trust that Steve will be willing to work past whatever it is that springs up.

It takes him a little too long, though, because after a few moments, Steve gently prompts, "Eddie?"

"Do you still want me?" he asks again. He didn't mean to, but it comes out anyway, all small and tentative.

"Eds," Steve breathes out. "I'm always going to want you."

He loves too much, and he gets it thrown back at him too often, Max had said, and Eddie swallows down the urge to ask him if he means it, if he'll still mean it the next time Eddie picks a fight, or every time he's an ass.

"I'm always going to want you, too," Eddie says.

Steve's hands twitch, and he looks like he's waiting for something - for a lie to show up on his skin, Eddie realizes, and Eddie knows he's going to have to do better than that.

"I want you," he says again. "Steve, I want you. I'll take you any way I can get you, but I just - this is stupid, I'm stupid. I'm making us both miserable because I was scared."

He's not surprised that's what gets Steve moving, and he comes over to sit by him on the couch.

"You're not stupid," Steve replies. "Not for being scared."

Eddie shakes his head. "No, but I am for giving into it. So I might get hurt, so what? I'm already hurting, wanting you so bad and not getting to have you, knowing you'd probably let me kiss you and not letting myself go for it."

Steve's looking at him, eyes all sharp and intense, like he's really listening to Eddie's every word, and hell if it doesn't make him feel just a little bit drunk on it.

"Talking with Max made me realize that I trust you. I trust you, with my life, with - fucking everything. I trust you to work through this with me, to figure out what works for us."

Steve runs a hand over his jaw, going up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Yeah?" he asks after a moment. "You really - you want to do this?"

"So fucking much," Eddie says.

Steve's whole face lights up in a smile, and he leans in, one hand resting on Eddie's knee. "That mean I can kiss you now?"

Eddie barely manages to get out a please before Steve's other hand is sliding over his jaw, slipping back to push his fingers into his hair and cup the side of his face. Steve holds him there as he kisses him, and it's-

It's not Eddie's first kiss. But it's his first kiss that's ever really meant anything, and the soft brush of Steve's lips against his makes his heart stutter in his chest.

Steve gives a little hum, low in his throat, and then he's tilting his head to get a better angle, and holy shit.

Eddie pushes forward eagerly, deepening the kiss until they're both panting for breath, and even then they don't pull away. Their foreheads press together, lips parted and just barely touching as they share the same air. His eyes have closed at some point, but now he opens them to find Steve looking back at him, and Eddie smiles.

"How long do you think until Robin notices we haven't come up?" he asks.

"I'm okay with figuring that out," Steve replies, closing the tiny bit of distance between them to kiss him again.

I've got a pretty good handle on the outline for the rest of this now, so I'd say we've got about four more parts left!

-----

Part 24

Tag list (always happy to add more): @vampireinthesun @koibug @estrellami-1 @mentalcyborg @allbimyself26 @questionablequeeries @the-s-is-silent @whimsicalwitchm @a-gae-af-racoon @tinyplanet95 @n0-1-important @velocitytimes2 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @newtstabber @jcmadgirl @roblingoblin285 @lexyvey @paperbackribs @goodolefashionedloverboi @evix-syne666 @raisedbylibrarians @stxrcrossed186 @nightmareglitter @greekgeek24 @starman-jpg @crazyhatlady86 @imfinereallyy @manda-panda-monium @deleataecount @prideandsensibility @chaoticvictorianspirit @maydillydally @disrespectedgoatman @scarlet-malfoy @i-less-than-three-you @hbyrde36 @hallucinatedjosten @dragonsandgayships @arepaconchocolate @g4ys0n @novelnovella @bisexualdisastersworld @ghostofyourvampiregf @scarletyeager @pettrichore @nerd-and-nervous @hiimlevi @queenie-ofthe-void @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fic #robin buckley #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #background lumax #hints of elmax and elumax #platonic soulmates stobin #steddie soulmate au

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starlight-bread-blog · 9 months

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Katara is More Patient Then We Give Her Credit for

Katara has been getting a lot of flak for supposedly being hot headed and getting angry at very minor things. Even those who love Katara seem to accept this as the truth. But it's not. In reality, Katara is simply a female character who owns her rage. And I feel like there are two main components that debunk this notion.

Warning: Long, long post.

1. In the instances where Katara is angry it's either justified or makes sense in context.

The Waterbending Scroll

Katara stole, wouldn't you know it, a waterbending scroll. She practices before giving it to Aang, and fails hard. Then Aang who she's supposed to be teaching, gets it right and explains how to do it. Katara has an outburst.

Katara: Will you please shut your air-hole! Believe it or not your infunite wisdom gets a little old sometimes. Why don't we just throw the scroll away since you're so naturally gifted!

Why is Katara that mad here? Why did she have an outburst? Because she was carrying the burden of being the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe her whole life. Because her waterbending is the reason Kya died. Because she have been independently studying waterbending her whole life. And now her student is having it all easy and is trying to teach her.

And wouldn't you know it, she realized what she did immediatly. Literally, a second later.

Katara: Oh my gosh Aang. I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. But you know what, it won't happen again. Here [the scroll] is yours. I don't wanna have anything to do with it anymore.

She even apologized to Momo. Katara had an isecurity rooted in trauma and pressure. When Aang try to teach her she hit a breaking point and lashed out. And not one second later she's already apologizing.

The Waterbending Master

Katara and Aang are going to see Pakku, the waterbending master. But when Pakku sees she's a girl, he says he won't teach her. This is why Katara gets angry. She flew across seas just to get rejected due Pakku is being a sexist freak. I think we can all agree that being denied something because of sexism is a good reason to get angry. And when Katara realized Pakku won't teach Aang if she'll keep insisting, she drops it abd tells Aang to drop it too.

However, that doesn't mean she won't study in secret. She deserved to learn waterbending and she knew it. She took the consequences into consideration and decided to not make a fuss.

But of course, they both get caught. Pakku says he will no longer teach Aang, the Avatar who absolutly needs to study and still refuses to teach Katara because he's still sexist. Only then Katara challenges him to a duel. Only when they have nothing to lose. She challenged a sexist prick to a duel, one who shamelessly denied her oppretunity because of her gender.

The Chase

At the start of the episode Katara gently hints Toph to help unpack a camp for the night. This is when she's not tired yet, and shows patience.

Katara: So Toph, usually when setting up camp, we try to divide up the work.

Toph: Hey, don't worry about me. I'm good to go.

Katara (still calmly): Well, actually, what I'm trying to say is, some of us might fetch water while someone else might set up the fire pit or put up the tent. *smiles* Even Momo does his fair share.

Toph (slightly irritated): Katara, I'm fine. I can carry my own weight. I don't need a fire. I've already collected my own food. And look. *earth bends a tent* My tent's all set up.

Katara: Well, that's great for you but we still need to finish-

Toph (loudly): I don't understand. What's the problem here??

Katara: Never mind.

Katara then goes to apologize. While also attempting to make sure her and Toph are on good terms by having her acknoledge that she wasn't 100 absolutly in the right.

Katara: Hey Toph, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I think we're all just a little tired and getting on each other's nerves.

Toph: Yeah, you do seem pretty tired.

Katara (slightly irrutated): I meant all of us.

Toph: Well, good night.

Katara: Good night.

By all means, Toph is in the wrong for the sheer refusal for communication. At first Katara calmly explained to her what was needed without even spelling it out. Toph was being passive, so she dropped it. And then she apologizes after doing nothing wrong just so they could be on good terms. Toph was the one being passive agressive. And Katara pretty much let it slide.

This is Katara. The patience she showed right here is her natural, normal self. The rest of the episode is under the context of sleep deprivation and how it's making them all hostile to each other. Including the pacifist Aang. Who's outburst leads Toph to leave. After she does, both Aang and Katara express remorse.

(Side note: I heard people take issue with the line "The stars sure are beautiful tonight, too bad you can't see them, Toph". It's been interpreted as Katara making fun of Toph for being blind, but it's just another instance in the recurring joke of the Gaang forgetting Toph is blind, and listed as such in the official A:TLA Youtube channel).

The Runaway

Update: This section, especially, is majorly outdated.

The episode has a silly opening where Aang is trained by Toph and Katara. Toph misses and accidently hits Katara with a big rock. After Toph doesn't apologize, it leads into a fight which is absolutly not to be taken seriously, that ends with Aang pointing out that it was supposed to be training.

It doesn't work as an exapmle for supposed hot-headedness because the reason this whole thing started because Toph hit Katara with a rock and refused to apologize.

But moving on to the real conflict of these episode, Toph scammed someone and Katara makes it clear that they shouldn't do it again, it'll draw attention to them. Aang promises her it won't happen again but.. um.. you know what happened.

Katara, being responsible, told them to quit because they'd potentially get exposed. Toph didn't reach well, telling her to lighten up. Katara rightfully gets angry, because they really might get exposed and Toph is dismissing her like her concerns are nothing. They have a short argument and Toph storms out.

This is why Katara was angry this episode. Her reasoning for being upset is the Gaang potentially exposing themselves for easy money. That's the conflict.

The Painted Lady

In this episode Katara sees a starving Fire Nation village but Sokka won't allow them to stay due to time limits. So she faked a disease for Appa so they could. Sokka confronts her. At first, she gives up and packs to leave. But since she destroyed the factory that's been polluting the villages water and taking their medicine, the people in charge assumed it was the civilians, and were coming to attack. Sokka and Katara get into a small but intense argument. Important to note, that she doesn't react intensively until Sokka does.

Katara: Well, what was I supposed to do?

Sokka: Leave! Do nothing.

Katara: No! I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me.

Her anger here doesn't highlight hot-headedness, it highlights compassion. Compassion is one of Katara's core traits. She's angry because she's being angrily demanded to see people suffer and stand by. And she will not tolerate it. She will never, ever turn her back on people who need her.

2. In reality, Katara is defined by her patience and compassion.

What I did here was listing off times where Katara did get angry. But Katara is generally a caring, kind person. Rather if it's cheering up Sokka, going shopping with him after he admitted to feeling useless; if it's pulling Aang out of the Avatar state, putting herself at risk when he's out of control; if it's helping deliver a baby of a stranger; or if it's freeing prisoners of the Fire Nation. She demonstrates impressive patience throughout the show.

The Deserter

In this episode Aang was asked to just control fire. Aang gets irrutated himself at this, but Katara assured him that it's probably for a good reaso. But when his master left, he firebent. He was being extremely careless with his new found Fire Bending and burned Katara's hands.

Did she...

A. splashed some water at him.

B. Yelled at him.

C. Ran away crying.

Yeah, she didn't express anger at all. Sokka was who's angry at Aang.

The Desert

The sand benders stole Appa and the Gaang is suck in a desert. Katara demonstrates her patience a lot this episode.

Toph and Aang are arguing about Toph not stopping them.

Aang: You just didn't care! You never liked Appa! You wanted him gone.

Katara: Aang, stop it. You know Toph did all she could. She saved our lives.

Sokka: Who's gonna save our lives now? We'll never make itout of here.

Aang: That's all any of you guys care about, yourselves. You don't care whether Appa is okay or not.

Katara: We're all concerned, but we can't afford to be fighting now.

Aang accused the Gaang of something horrible. Katara told him to stop, but still understood his anger and calmly explained to him that it's important not to fight in a life threatening situation.

Aang then storms out to look for Appa. Katara's response?

Katara: We'd better start walking. We're the only people who know about the solar eclipse. We have to get that information to Ba Sing Se.

She didn't get angry, she was rational and thought about the greater good.

After Aang comes back, Katara suggest they should try sleeping, gives the Gaang all of her bending water without drinking herself. And then finds a way to get to Ba Sing Se using the locations of star systems.

The Gaang spots a cloud and mistakes it for Appa. But Katara realizes the potential in a cloud. She tells Aang to fly and bend the water from the cloud so they could drink.

Katara (disappoibted): Wow, there's hardly any in here.

Aang (intensively): I'm sorry, okay? It's a desert cloud, I did all I could. What's anyone else doing? *Points at Katara* What are you doing?

After dealing with everyone's tireness, Sokka's high nonsense and Aang's attitude, carrying everyone, thinking of possible solutions to ensure they'd all survive, how did she react to Aang accusing her of not doing enough?

Katara: Trying to keep everyone together. Let's just get moving. We need to head this direction.

And after everything she did for everyone, she pulls Aang out of the Avatar state when he's raging, out of control.

Katara is not so hot headed.

She's sweet, nurturing and caring. She demonstrated incredible patience and perhaps even saved the Gang's life in The Desert with her resilience. Katara's compassion is her defining trait.

But that doesn't mean she's not a human being – she's allowed to be flawed, and in the moments where she does, she's very remorseful. And in the moments where she doesn't, people will still hold her accoutable for simply feeling a justified emotion.

Does it make you oh-so-hot headed to stand up to a sexist denying her opportunity? To make sure your friends don't destroy your chances to win a war? To not tolerate being told to see people in need and do nothing in a middle if an argument she didn't start? Of course it doesn't.

And other characters are allowed to express anger, to be flawed, in ways that are way worse than Katara without being labelled annoying hot headed by the fandom.

Katara is widly known to be irrational, letting her anger get the better of her, but it's simply not true.

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ofstarsandvibranium · 8 months

Note

if it’s not too much to ask (🥺) could you do a reader who’s best friends with Colin and he teases her about her crush on Jamie and tries to get them together? If not, NO WORRIES. Your stuff is so 🥰

(this ended up being a lot longer than I intended...whoops!)

You and Colin grew up together. You were two peas in a pod, the thickest of thieves. You knew everything about each other. You were the first person he told when he realized he was gay. He was the first person you told after you had your first kiss. You're each other's platonic soulmates.

As such, you're always trying to help each other in regards to your dating lives. When he told you about Michael, you were excited to see your best friend finally found his person. Michael was amazing and you two clicked instantly, to Colin's relief.

Your love life? Weeeell...

Colin and Michael were expecting you since twenty minutes prior, you texted them: THIS DATE SUCKS. IM COMING OVER.

So you're now sitting on Colin's couch in between the couple.

"So what happened this time?" Colin asks.

"All he talked about was football, specifically West Ham," that got Colin groaning, "He also looked my Instagram up and saw the pictures of you and I. Asked if we dated in the past, if you'd be able to get him tickets to the next Richmond versus West Ham game."

"You know you can archive the pictures of us so people-"

"No. I'd never do that to you, Col. It's like I'm ashamed of you and I'm not."

Colin gives a small smile and nod of appreciation, "Thanks, babe."

"Maybe you can set her up with one of your teammates," Michael suggests.

A lightbulb went off in Colin's head and you immediately said, "Don't."

"He's available."

"It'll be weird!"

"No, it won't!"

"Isn't he a dickhead?"

"Not as much anymore!"

Michael waved in front of you and Colin, "What's going on?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, "Kill me."

Colin snickers, "Y/N's celebrity crush before I got into the league was Jamie Tartt. When she found out he was being lent to Richmond, she freaked out. Made a complete fool of herself by tripping in front of him and getting a bloody nose."

"Ooohh. That's pretty bad." Michael says, wincing.

"It was so mortifying!" you cry out, "There's no way he'd want to date me after that disaster!"

"He might not even remember it," Colin says reassuringly.

"I don't want to risk it," you turn to Michael, "Michael, tell him it's a bad idea."

Michael looks to his boyfriend, "Do you vouch for Jamie?"

Colin nods, "I do, actually. He's completely turned his act around. He can still be a prick sometimes, but it's not as bad as it was when he first joined the team."

Michael focuses back on you, "You should go for it."

You immediately stand up, "Nope. I'm not making myself out to be a fool again. No thanks! I'm out!"

_____________________

"Hey, Jamie," Colin rushes up to Jamie as he exits his car.

Closing the door behind him, Jamie responds, "Yeah, mate?"

"You're not seeing anyone right?"

"No," Jamie replies with furrowed brows, look of confusion.

"My best friend, Y/N, she's beautiful, funny, and smart and think you and her would be a great match." Colin holds out his phone, showing Jamie a really great candid picture of you that he took when you two went to dinner months ago.

Jamie nods at the picture. You were, indeed, very beautiful. The way the sun hit your skin made you look angelic, "She's...nice."

Colin rolls his eyes, "One date. That's all I ask."

"Why me though?" Jamie still looks a bit confused, "Why not Bumbercatch or Isaac?"

"I just think you and Y/N would fit really well. She's been having a rough time with dating so I figured you'd show her how she should be treated."

To be fair, Jamie was thinking about getting back into the dating scene. He finally got over Keeley, accepting that they'd just be better off as friends. You seemed like a decent person, from the few things Colin mentioned. Might as well, right?

"Fuck it. Sure."

Colin fist bumped the air, "Yes! You won't regret it. I'll make the plans. You just show up."

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

_______________

You show up to Ola's, a place you've been to before. As soon as you walk in, Colin and Michael are there.

"I need to preface this and say you can't be mad at me," Colin says.

You narrow your eyes at him, "What did you do?"

"It'll be fine. I promise. Michael and I will be on the other side of the restaurant if you need anything, but you won't, because it'll be great."

"But if it goes wrong, it was definitely all his doing," Michael says, pointing to Colin.

Colin grimaces, "Thanks, babe." He takes your hand and leads you towards the back corner where Jamie fucking Tartt was sitting.

You immediately give Colin a look and he pushes you towards him, murmuring, "It'll be fine!"

You slowly approach the table and Jamie looks up, giving you a polite smile as he pockets his phone.

"Hi, I'm Jamie," he offers his hand out.

"I know," you say as you shake his hand, "I'm so sorry Colin roped you into this. You really don't have to be here if you don't want to."

He shrugs, "It's fine. Been meanin' to get back into the dating game. Besides, if things don't really work out, we get free dinner and drinks out of it, yeah?"

Your brows shot up, "Colin's paying?"

Jamie nods, "He said he would."

You smirk and gesturing for a server. He smiles at you, "Would you like to start with drinks?"

You nod, "Yes, we'll have your most expensive bottle please."

It's now Jamie's brows that shoot up and he looks at you in surprise. When the server leaves to get the drinks, you lean in and said, "It's payback," you sigh as you sit down.

"So...you weren't too keen on going on a date with me then?" he asks awkwardly.

You suddenly look mortified, "No, no! That's not it at all it's-I-ugh!" you slump back in your chair. You let out a deep breath and sit up again, "Alright, so I believe two years ago, you and I actually met before and I made a complete fool out of myself because I tripped and ate the pavement. I busted my lip, there was lots of blood. Not a pretty sight or a cool thing to do in front of your celebrity crush."

Jamie smirks, "I'm your celebrity crush?"

You sit there in silence, mentally cursing yourself and Colin for making you go through this embarrassment again. You stand, "Right, okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm leaving."

Jamie rushes to a stand, "No, please, don't. I'm only teasin' ya. It's nothin' bad, I promise. You're-You're very cute when you're flustered."

"Thanks," you murmur.

Luckily, the server came back with the most expensive bottle of wine. As soon as he poured your glass, you began downing it. Jamie watches you in amusement.

"Sorry, I just need some liquid courage to get through this."

Jamie leans forward, resting his arms on the table, "How about this, we just forget who I am for tonight. I'm not Jamie Tartt, the most amazing striker in the league. Just Jamie, a nervous lad on a date with a beautiful girl."

"You're nervous?" you ask in shock.

He shrugs, "It's been a while since I've gone on a proper date. Kinda forgot how to do this sort of stuff."

"Pft, I've gone on many dates and so far, you're the best one."

"Yeah? Tell me about 'em."

And that's how dinner goes. Over another glass and eventually over some food, you tell Jamie about your past dates. He tells you about some ridiculous things he's done with the guys when Coach Lasso was around. It was nice. It was nice knowing that Jamie wasn't here because he wanted to get close to Colin. He was there because he wanted to. You assumed he was interested in you by the way he flirted with you throughout the nice. So maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Once dinner was over, Colin came over with a pout, "Did you guys really have to order the most expensive items here?!"

"That's what you get for tricking me like that," you boop his nose and Michael snickers as he weaves his fingers through Colin's.

"But it went alright, yeah?" he looks at you and Jamie.

"I'd say so," Jame puts his hand on your lower back, "We're, uh, actually gonna head to a pub for more drinks."

"Oh! Well, uh, I think Michael and I will head on home then."

You don't want to give Colin the satisfaction just yet, so you say, "I'll text you later when I'm home."

"Sounds good," he says and pulls at Michael's hand, "Let's go, babe."

Looking over his shoulder, Michael gives you a wink and a thumbs up.

You snort and then turn to Jamie, "Ready?"

"Whenever you are, love." and you two head out onto more drinks, more talking, and, hopefully, more dates after this.

#jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader

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i-jus-wanna-writehappy · 2 months

Text

Desperate For You - Toji

18+ minors not welcome

Pairing: ex!Toji Fushiguro x fem!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, masturbation, reader is present in theory, maybe he’s in love with you and doesn’t know how to say that

Author’s Note: I’m not necessarily a Toji girlie (don’t get me wrong, he fine as hell), but I’m a lil stuck on Abundance part 2 and got this quick lil idea. Toji seems a little hard and unfeeling in fics, and I wanted to try something a bit different, I hope y’all like it 😘

• • •

“Hey, make sure you didn’t leave any shit in my bathroom.” Toji calls out to the woman he hears opening the front door to commence her walk of shame. He doesn’t bother looking up to make sure she hears him - her snort and muttered “asshole” as she slams the door was enough to let him know she did - he’s too busy swiping through your latest post on Instagram. The events of the night before are documented on social media for him to see, and Toji finds his length twitching as he scrolls through the set of photos and sees the subtle wear and tear of your drinks and dancing.

Toji used to love when you came home, tipsy and craving to be stuffed until you couldn’t support your own weight anymore and were begging him to please please cum in you. By the time he reaches the final photo, his cock is standing stiff and needy and the rim of your glass is littered with what seems like dozens of lip stains matching your favorite lipstick, making him wish he could see the vibrant color stretched around the base of his cock.

Reaching into his pants to rub the head of his dick with his thumb the way you used to, Toji is hit with an idea, wicked and filthy, which makes it perfect for him. Peeling off his tight shirt, Toji pockets his phone and goes back to his room.

There were a lot of people who would blame Toji for your breakup. Something about nonchalance and jealousy don’t make a good mix and wandering eyes, blah blah blah. One thing no one who had ever spoken to Toji - or seen the way he looks at you - could refute, was that you had the tightest, wettest, warmest pussy he’d ever sunken into, and he’d do whatever he could to feel it again, to feel it now.

For a few ravenous weeks after the breakup, Toji could seduce you into his sheets. Sometimes he’d only have to send you a text in the dark of the night, others, he’d sneak up behind you in line at your regular cafe, placing his hand on your hip and pressing his bulge into your ass like you’d never broken up and he was convincing you to cancel your plans the spend the day in bed with him. In bed, in the tub, in the kitchen, on the floor on the way back to the bed - if he’d have you abandoning your day, he’d be sure to keep you busy. But then, one night, you didn’t respond at all, not even to tell him to get a life or just jerk off, it was just radio silence.

He knew why when the gossipy old greeter at the grocery store the next afternoon called out his name, a playful lilt to her voice, “I’m glad to see at least one of you is moving on. She looked so lovely and happy. Your ex-girlfriend. Expensive restaurant I saw ‘em at too. He must be rich.” Toji sneered at her delighted grin, “Shut up, you old cow.” He called over his shoulder, white hot heat building in his stomach. One date with some nice guy asshole and you can’t even respond to his texts? That’s what was rich, fuck that guy.

But then you stopped responding to any of Toji’s calls or texts, you wouldn’t even give in when he’d tease you about your new boyfriend. You’d even gone so far as to switch cafes so Toji couldn’t intercept your mornings anymore, and it made him furious. What, were you worried he’d convince you to abandon your morals? That he’d be able to pull you into him by your waist and nibble at your neck until you dumped that piece of shit with a video of Toji pounding into your pussy, your ass slapping against his thighs with wet squelches?

He gave up after a while, but a week ago, you publicly became a single woman again, posting your slutty little pictures in a dress your old boyfriend would have begged you to only wear at home, hence his current plan.

Whether you’d like to admit it or not, you craved the sweaty entanglement of your limbs, supplementing your air with his own while you ground yourself on his steadily leaking cock, Toji knows it. All this time, you’ve been unsatisfied, like him, heat building and only able to be extinguished by the other. And without a doubt, Toji was going to exploit your need however he needed, as long as he’d get to drench himself in your juices again.

Phone set up just right and recording his every move, Toji settles on his bed, propped up on his knees, unable to stop the mean chuckle that tumbles from his lips as he pulls his jogging pants just low enough to reveal his heavy balls, twitching at their base for you. As he braces himself with a strong hand on the bed, Toji grips his cock with the other, thrusting into his tight hold and remembering how you’d feel around him.

“Fuuck.” He moans, grunting through gritted teeth as he fights to keep a steady pace. There was a time where Toji teased you meanly for enjoying videos like these, soft, solo, and noisy. Now though, that he seeks to tempt you, he’s glad to know what you like, even if he thinks it’s stupid. What matters is exploding in you again, letting his thick cum build in you until there’s no doubt that he’d bound the two of you forever. Then, he could revel in holding your throat in his grasp and asking you in person if his precious slut was done showing her ass and finally ready to let the veiny surface of his cock leave an imprint in the slick pussy he calls home.

Thinking of being buried in you again lights an urgency in Toji - yeah, he feels good, but he’s ready to send this to you now. The sooner your thighs start to rub together at the sight of his leaking tip, the better. So, chasing the anticipation of fucking you until neither of you can remember how to separate, Toji begins to fuck into his fist rather than letting his calloused hand glide along his shaft, pretending to be yours.

The steadily growing pool of arousal gathering at the ridge of his head begins to produce an almost nostalgic squelching noise. Even more memories of you engulfing Toji’s angry, leaking cock wash over him, pushing a low groan from his throat. With both hands now stacking to cover his length, Toji transitions to irregular thrusts, letting his head fall back for a moment as another grunted, “Fuck.” leaves his lips alternating in a cycle just as irregular as his thrusts as he approaches his climax.

As he feels his balls swell, Toji ramps up his speed, envisioning the soft cock drunk smile you’ll give him in affirmation when he asks if you want more. You always take everything he gives you, for as long as he can give it to you. Always.

Toji almost gets overwhelmed by his orgasm, but he pushes forward, for you. Going back to one hand, Toji hisses quickly before releasing a throaty moan as his cum quickly begins to cover his hand, his continued thrusts smearing the arousal from his head to his base. By the time he’s finally milked himself dry, Toji feels almost lightheaded. He can’t help the dry laugh that passes his lips as he realizes just how much he came. He really really can’t wait to touch you again.

Looking up at the camera now, Toji’s lips stretch into a lazy smile, “‘S all for you, mama.” Toji stops the recording and cuts out the extra bits at the beginning and the end while also maneuvering cleaning himself off. As soon as the video saves, Toji pulls up your contact and sends you a text. He knows you - what you want and what you need - and now that he’s laid his bait, Toji can relax, collapsing down into his couch and waiting for you to bite.

And thankfully for him and his stirring cock, you do. Half an hour after sending the video, Toji’s phone buzzes beside him.

I’ll be home in 20, come meet me. Show up late, and I won’t let you in.

#jjk smut #toji fushiguro #toji smut #toji fushigro x reader #jjk toji #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #fushiguro toji #toji fushiguro smut

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luvhughes43 · 1 year

Text

tornado warning | nico hischier x reader

summary: every summer nico comes back home to Switzerland and resumes his fling with yn even though she knows it’s not good for her.

lyrics: "don't understand how quickly we get right back in our rhythm without missing a step, and logically the last thing i should have on my mind but i want you there sometimes"

"i guess maybe thats why im lying to my therapist, i keep saying things like "i never saw him and we never kissed"

word count: 1.1k

you and nico were kind of a thing before he moved to the us for hockey. it was the average high school relationship, hand holding and late night talks on the phone. it was never supposed to be how it is now. you weren’t together, but every time off-season hit, Nico was back in Switzerland and you were suddenly calling out for him and he was there, every single time.

Don't understand how quickly we get

Right back in our rhythm without missing a step

And logically, the last thing I should have on my mind

But I want you there sometimes

he had just gotten back in the country less than 24 hours ago, and your mind was already reeling with how quick everything was already going. he was in your bed shirtless, arms slung around your waist as soft music played in the background. you could feel the rise and fall of his chest against your side, and you could feel his soft hair against your fingertips as you let them brush across his scalp.

“Ni?” you whispered, unsure if he had already fallen asleep.

“Yes?” he replied groggily, not bothering to move so he could look up at you.

you debated on asking him what the two of you were, what you were even doing. you knew that when he inevitably left you again at the end of the summer you would be a wreck, and despite yours, your friends, and your therapists advice, you couldn’t quit Nico.

I guess maybe that's why

I'm lying to my therapist

I keep saying things like

"I never saw him and we never kissed"

your lovely therapist knew all about your relationship with Nico. It was a topic that came up regularly during your hour-long sessions.

“I just don’t know what i’m going to do about this, like… we always fall back into how things were, and i just don’t know if i can do it anymore,” you went over your dilemma for what seemed like the hundredth time. your therapist nodded her head slowly as she listened to you once again reiterate your issues.

she set her pen down against her notepad before looking into your eyes, “be honest, have you seen him since he came back?” she questioned and you tried to still your fidgeting.

“No, i never saw him. I’ve just heard from friends who’ve seen him around,” you lied smoothly, shifting a little on the couch you were sitting on. If your therapist knew you had kissed him too… multiple times… you knew what she’d say. she wants you to move on but how can you when Nicos at your doorstep and is asking for you? you just can’t seem able to get over him.

I think he's onto me every time I say

"I'm over that son of a bitch"

“I am so over him,” you slur to your friends who all give each other side glances. you’ve been telling them the same thing for years, and it seemed like Nico had a sixth sense when it came to you trying to get over him. Every time you declared you were over him, he was calling or doing something to pull you right back in.

“yn honey, why don’t you-” your friend started but you eagerly cut her off.

“no like seriously this time, how dare he come back to me! like he thinks he can just come back into my life every damn time!” you practically shouted, getting up off the couch to really make your point clear. You pointed in the directions of each of your friends and continued, “next time he calls, guys i swear just take my phone and block him because i am never, and i mean never! talking to him again!” you slurred your words and your friends just nodded at your new attempt to rid yourself of Nico.

not even a minute later he was calling your phone, your ringtone blaring through the material of your jeans as you urgently fished it out. “yn who is it?” one of your friends asked as she moved to stand next to you.

a goofy smile took over your face once you saw Nicos contact. The rest of your friends didn't even need to peek at your phone to know who was calling. “i’m just going to answer it,” you giggled a bit, pulling away from your small group of friends.

“yn no! you just said you were never going to talk to him again!” your friend jumped off the couch and rushed over to you, trying to grab your phone out of your hand before you accepted the call.

she was too late. you shielded your phone from her and quickly accepted, smiling into the phone once you heard Nicos voice on the other end of the call.

“Ni!” you giggled into the call, all of your previous sentiments ignored the second you heard his voice asking for you to come over. all of your friends watched you walk out the door and into his car, all of them groaning when you two drove off.

I'll drive you home

You drive me crazy

But that's not gonna stop me

I'll call you out

You call me "baby"

it was nico’s last night in switzerland before he was catching a flight back to jersey. you were driving him home after a late night at your apartment, not having the urge to turn him away when he called saying he wanted to properly tell you goodbye.

“you drive me crazy, Ni” you sighed, watching him unbuckle himself out of your passenger side.

“what are you talking about baby?” he asked, seemingly unaware of the effect his words had on you.

“I’m not your baby” you admitted softly, turning around so you can face him full on. his brow furrowed at your words. you desperately wanted to say something to him, bring up your feelings or how conflicted you were about this whole relationship-that-wasn’t. but you guys were never the ones to sit and chat about all your feelings, so you let it all go.

“I’m sorry, i think i’m just tired” you tried laughing it off but it sounded a little strained.

“well we had a busy night,” Nico laughed as you felt your face heat up, turning around so he could face you properly too.

you smiled at him, painfully aware that this was the last time you’d be seeing him in months. you felt the lump grow in your throat, and you painfully swallowed it back as Nico reached for the door handle.

Nico opened the door. he halfway outside before he seemingly realized something and leaned back inside, kissing you softly on the lips over the middle of your console.

he pulled away too soon, and then you sat watching him walk away. The lump in your throat getting more painful with every step he took. you had no idea how you were going to get him out of your mind this time.

#sabrina masterlist #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier fic #nico hischier blurb #nico hischier imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl blurb #nhl fic #nhl imagine

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lvrdrafts · 9 months

Text

Crumbs of Cinnamon, Mended Hearts

Summary: You are in the hospital after an attempted suicide but you feel less alone than ever

Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of suicide

A/N: Imma make a part 4 cus I wanna make Bucky suffer

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

You were at an all-time low, you couldn’t imagine a life without Bucky and it made you miserable. You started to have fewer customers since the negative attitude in the bakery was not one that made people want to come back. You couldn’t go back to your family, they thought the bakery was a bad idea in the first place and you could already imagine the shame on their face. You were all alone with no friends, family, and work.

You didn’t have enough money to pay for rent for the bakery or your home and now you were forced to sell your dream store. You felt as if your whole world was crumbling from one man.

Bucky had noticed your bakery had now been for sale and he was seeing you in the apartment less and less. He was starting to worry about you but every night Diana helped him forget about those worries. So the worry became more of a task put on hold.

You didn’t want to bear the pain anymore so you decided to end it. You had went to the bridge at the park at midnight. You didn’t want to be saved or seen.

You felt the whole world slow down, the cold breeze hitting your shoulder. As you jumped you felt your life flashed before you. The instant your body was completely submerged, you froze. The panic talking a complete hold of you. You realized you didn’t want to die but it was too late. As your eyes were beginning to close but you saw someone ,a man with wings, an angel, dive into the water. Then it all went black and you feel as if your body has given up.

At the hospital Sam was pacing around, worried if he was not quick enough to save you. That’s when Bucky came in asking everyone where you were.

“I’m gone for two weeks and I’m flying back home to see my best friend committing suicide. How the fuck does that happen” Sam yells at Bucky trying to hold back his anger as much as possible.

“I fucked up. I fucked up so bad and I pushed her away and I acted like a dick and I-“ Bucky starts ranting on but Sam ignores him. Sam had finally gotten on good terms with Bucky but it all seemed to crumble.

As Sam was about to comment, the Doctor came in and said you are able to get visits. Sam rushes in to see you.

“y/n/n what the fuck where you thinking. You scared the hell out of me" Sam admitted, his voice cracking with emotion.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she replied, "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to put anyone in danger. I just... I felt overwhelmed. I don't even know how I'm alive, it's like an angel rescued me. I don't know if it was real or just my mind playing tricks on me." you chuckle laughing at that foolish thought.

Sam looked at you with a gentle smile, hiding the truth behind his eyes. "That sounds like quite an experience. Sometimes, our minds can create extraordinary things in moments of distress. But what matters is that you're here, safe and sound."

Sam cleared his throat, looking at you with a mix of relief and affection. "Y/n, I can't tell you how happy I am that you're alive and getting better. I was so scared when I found out what happened, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

Sam's eyes glistened with emotion, and he squeezed your hand gently. "You're a strong person, y/n, and you've been through so much. But I want you to know that you don't have to face anything alone. I have a friend who has a friend who is willing to pay for your bakery and I can help around the bakery." Sam says putting his hand on your shoulder as you look in his eyes thinking how lucky you were to have him "You don't have to do this alone."

Sam's grip on your hand tightened, and he looked into your eyes with such intensity that it took your breath away. "Y/n, I can't bear the thought of losing you," he confessed, his voice trembling with emotion. "When I found out you got hurt I realized how much you mean to me, how much I care about you."

"I was so worried, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I wanted to tell you," Sam continued, his vulnerability shining through. "If something had happened to you, and I never got the chance to say it, I would regret it for the rest of my life. So, here it is: I love you, y/n, with all my heart. And I promise to always be here for you, no matter what."

"I... I feel the same way, Sam," you replied, your voice filled with emotion. "You've been there for me through everything, and I can't thank you enough for that. You mean so much to me."

Sam smiled, relief was evident in his eyes. "I'm so glad you feel the same way, Y/N. I want to be here for you"

Before the two of you could say more, Sam's phone suddenly rang, interrupting the moment. He gave you an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I need to take this call. I'll be right back."

As Sam stepped out to take the call, you were left alone in the room with your thoughts. That's when the door opened, and Bucky entered quietly. His expression was one of remorse, and he seemed to hesitate before speaking.

"Y/N, I... I'm sorry," Bucky said, his voice filled with genuine regret. "I should have been there for you, and I should have realized what you were going through. I didn't mean to push you away, and I'm so sorry for not being the friend you needed."

You looked at Bucky, feeling a mix of emotions. Part of you wanted to hear his apology and accept it, but another part of you couldn't forget the pain of his rejection. You remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"I know I messed up, and I don't expect you to forgive me," Bucky continued, his voice filled with sadness. "But I just wanted you to know that I truly am sorry."

Before you could respond, Sam returned to the room, and you could sense the tension between him and Bucky. Sam looked at Bucky for a moment, then at you, his expression softening.

As Sam noticed the lingering tension in the room, he gently squeezed your hand and looked towards the door. "Hey, I think Y/N might need some alone time right now," he suggested, giving Bucky an understanding look.

Bucky glanced at you, his expression conflicted, but he nodded in agreement. "You're right," he said softly, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll give her some space."

As Bucky turned to leave, you felt a mix of emotions, unsure of what to say or do. Before you could say anything, Sam leaned closer, cupping your face gently with his hand, and pressed a soft kiss on your lips.

Bucky paused for a moment, his hand on the doorknob, and then he turned back to look at you one last time. His expression was a mix of sadness and frustration, and without saying a word, he slammed the door shut behind him.

The hours passed, and Sam stayed by your side, offering quiet companionship and support. Eventually, the fatigue of the day caught up with you, and your eyes grew heavy.

"I think it's time for you to rest," Sam said softly, seeing the exhaustion in your eyes. "I'll be right here if you need anything."

You nodded, feeling grateful for his presence. "Thank you, Sam. You've been amazing," you murmured, already feeling yourself drift off to sleep.

Sam smiled tenderly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "Sleep well, Y/N," he whispered, his voice a soothing lullaby. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Taglist

@marygoddessofmischief @666yourmomdotcom @openup-yourmind @almosttoopizza @maddieislost @kentokaze @floralwslokicjand10 @vicmc624 @sunset90 @cjand10 @matchat3a @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @blueraspberryreader @that1nerd-20 @chemtrails-club @marvel-fandom23 @mewmeoww @niyah834 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @christinesdemoness1958 @matchat3a @kentokaze @mayusenpai666 @smplymrvl @chemtrails-club @emerald-writer @zeysartzone

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x reader angst

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mcflymemes · 8 months

Text

PROMPTS FROM THE PARENT TRAP * assorted dialogue taken from the script, adjust as necessary

we've got a big, big day ahead of us.

now the question is, how do i get it out?

you must be new.

i would say you need some serious help.

now that's my kind of woman.

we traveled six thousand miles for... this?

it's rather picturesque, wouldn't you say?

i'll be fine. see you in eight weeks.

i'm positive i'd remember you.

sorry, wish i could, but i'm allergic.

sure. i'll take a whack at it.

why's everyone staring?

want me to deck her for you?

i'm so tired. i'm crawling back into bed and sleeping until lunch.

save yourself the aggravation. it's really disgusting.

you'll thank us for this. you'll see.

i feel so bad for you.

any of your pictures ruined?

i love oreos. at home, i eat them with peanut butter.

most people find that totally disgusting.

it's scary the way nobody stays together anymore.

will you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this?

oh man, this is beyond coincidence. this is beyond imagination.

this is so freaky.

if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

that's the way true love works. history's filled with stories of lovers parted by some silly misunderstanding.

i have a brilliant, beyond brilliant idea.

oh, right. sorry, i'm just a little nervous.

you sure you know what you're doing?

oh god, i hope she likes me. please like me.

you look fantastic. what did you do to your hair?

i just love how everyone drives on the wrong side here.

now you're even talking like an american.

i'm making a memory.

i can't believe it's you.

i'm sorry, it's just... i've missed you so much.

can you believe it? it seems like it's been forever.

i didn't realize you were so beautiful.

i found a stowaway in your suitcase.

can't you manage without me?

you don't think it's too over-the-top?

come on, let's see what all the fuss is about...

i like things exactly the way they are, thank you.

now let's see what disaster awaits us.

you can't avoid the subject forever.

we kind of hit it off immediately.

i knew you were going to ask me all these questions one day.

it just didn't work out.

get into these arms, you little punk.

what happened to you? something's changed. did you get taller?

now you sound like your old self.

i made cornbread and chili.

i'm just so happy to be home.

i can't put my finger on it, but something about you has definitely changed.

when you're done, come on down. there's someone i want you to meet.

sorry, did i get you wet?

somebody grab that, please.

we've got a major problem.

are you nuts?

this is an emergency.

you've got to get back here to help me.

there's something really important i want to talk to you about.

you do an absolutely marvelous british accent.

i'm trying to tell you something!

why's everybody acting so nutty around here?

i'm afraid you're kind of missing the point.

let's discuss this calmly and rationally...

you are unbelievably out of line.

this is fantastic wine, by the way.

are you okay? would you like me to come with you?

why didn't you tell me it was you all along?

i've never been so happy in my entire life.

i'm in such major trouble here.

you're perfect for each other.

may your life be far less complicated than mine.

i can't believe it. you haven't changed at all.

i think i have to get dressed for dinner.

sometime, if we're ever really alone, maybe we could talk about... what happened between us.

you didn't come after me.

it's the wine we drank at our wedding. i now have every bottle ever made.

can we open one?

you're the only one i'd drink it with.

you don't always have to be so brave, you know.

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shuxiii · 7 months

Text

Hows of us— hanni x reader x minji (subtle)

Note: AHAIAHUA KATHNIEL REFERENCE 😋 And this might have been rushed since this has been in my draft for ages and i did not proofread.

Synopsis: Two old lovers meet again but feelings have changed yet one stays the same

As we grew older, our perception of life and love becomes more profound and different, it was no longer something we see as only happiness but also a fleeting moment and a painful experience.

Thats what it always had been with you and Hanni, it was a fleeting love and a painful end.

As you both gradually grew old and matured, everything changed.

She became more ambitious of her life and focused on everything but you.

And of course it always led to many arguments and constant silence but in the end of the day you still loved her, alot.

It goes the same for her, she loved you too, a lot—to the point she worries so much in your life, she was worried about your future about everything that involved you—but that's what is love, right?

worry is a sign of love. It says that, even though I am okay, I am selfless enough to suffer vicariously for you. And isn't that the definition of love?

Of course it was, Hanni loved you.

Even in your dreams and aspirations she loved you.

She knew you always had a burning passion for music—it revolved around you, it was your comfort and your sanctuary.

People around you have always told you, its a diffuclt path to go through—how its an uncertain and indeterminate.

But that didnt faze you at all it only made you want to prove them wrong.

Thats what made Hanni fall for you, it was your over-burning passion for something you love.

She admired the way your eyes glistened at something you adored, just as they did when you gazed at her.

It was like that, it used to be.

Sometimes there are times, its better to give up on things that are too late. But you never did.

08.16.2020

“Yn when are you going to stop this?” She looks at you with tired eyes.

Here it goes again, the same argument.

“You already know the answer, Han” you sigh “I’m not going to give up just yet.”

“Dont you think you’ve done so much already?” She grunts “You’re just going in circles, Yn.”

“Then I’ll keep going in circles if i have to!” You raise your voice. The stress and frustration evident to the tone of your voice.

“Yn, I’m only worried about you!” She frowns “But this is getting you nowhere!”

You felt yourself scoff at her words.

“There you go again, with the same lines” you sarcastically laugh “Han, if you were really worried about me then support me instead—I’m doing what i love why wont you be happy for me?”

“I am happy for you, I was happy for you!” She pauses “But all this stupid pinning for a dream that wont even happen is making you lose yourself—you’re just chasing for something thats far out your reach, yn!”

“Stupid? Is this what you ever saw to it? Stupid?” You stood up from your chair as now you were faced at her with a frustrated look.

“I’m trying my best here and all you think of it is fucking stupid?”

And at this moment of argument, Hanni would have softened her eyes or held onto you and whispered apologies and sweet words but it seemed like it changed now.

“I didn't see it as stupid at first yn, but it's not even a certain future!”

You felt yourself lose her, she seemed so out of reach now. Before she was always there for you—now it seemed like she was against you.

“You’re just like the others!” You felt something wet hit your cheeks “Do you even love me?”

You knew she would say yes without hesitation or contradiction but the look of sadness in her eyes made your heart ache.

There was a silence.

“Do you love me, han?” You stammer.

“Yn…” a mumble

“Do you love me, han tell me!”

“I love you, yn”

There was a pause.

It was the answer you wanted but it didn’t feel right anymore.

“I love you, but this dream you want is getting nowhere and I cant love someone who’s future is uncertain.”

She avoids your gaze as you saw tears fall on the polished floor.

“I love you so much, yn” she chokes from her constant cries “but I’m leaving for university.”

You felt your whole world crash in front of you, everything was turning and drastically changing, and that made you dizzy.

“What?” You stutter “what do you mean, han?”

“Let’s break up.”

All you could do was stare back at her eyes glinting as her tears covered her vision and the light reflecting on it, yet despite the sadness and defeated look she had, she effortlessly made sadness look pretty.

“Im sorry, yn.”

You hold onto her arms as you hugged her tightly in desperation.

“We can talk about this, han—like we always do.” You pleaded “just…just dont leave me, please.”

“I have to go.”

And no matter how much you hold onto her she eventually let go of your grasped, as you felt your knees give up.

“Han, don't do this to me? You promised you wouldn’t leave me!”

She looks at you one more time with glistening eyes before going out the door—out the door where your memories together lingered, out your life, and out of the love you gave all your effort and time—a love that can't be broken just like this, yet it did.

You try to chase for her but the rain blinded her figure from you, you try to hold onto her wrist as the rain damped you.

“Han, please…I dont know what to do without you,”

“Yn, you’ve done so much already, but I cant love you anymore.”

And just like that you were left with only the loud rain and a broken heart.

Since then the love that stayed with you for her grew to become ambitious and hateful—ever since she left you. You wanted to prove her wrong.

And as you became ambitious and resentful you began to lose yourself, your old self.

You drowned yourself in your goal, you began to forget the point of the future you wanted as it was covered with flaming anger for the person you once loved.

08.16.2023

“Yn, don’t forget you have a meeting with our collaboration this afternoon,” yunjin, your manager said before leaving you alone in the studio.

You could only nod as you were too distracted with your guitar and notes.

you scribbled and grunt every time the words didn’t fit each other.

You hear a knock and despite such vague knocking you knew who it was as the sound of the door opened and footsteps go to your sitting figure.

You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Hey,” she says, and despite not looking at her, you could feel her smile from her voice.

“Hey,” i say with a grunt.

“Having a hard time?” She asked, noticing your frustration.

“Yeah.”

You sigh eventually and drop the notebook from your hands as you finally faced her.

“It’s okay, I know you can go through it, you always do” she holds your hands with so much gentle.

And you felt all the frustration that bubbled up disappear in one go as the frown that stayed in your face replaced with a warm smile.

“What will I ever do without you?” You laugh, and hug her tight, she always knew how to make you smile.

She giggled as she hugged back your embrace and her scent covered your whole body.

Minji, was a friend you could ever ask for. she pulled you up in your darkest times. You didn’t know what would happen to you now if you didn’t meet her at all.

You both held each other in silence, she broke it.

“Meetings about to start we should go” she says, her head against your shoulders.

You could only hum in agreement as you let go of her touch that lingered against your skin.

You smile as you walked together, you gaze at the vinyl’s that were hanged on the walls.

You’ve always wanted to collect vinyls ever since you were a kid, yet you couldn’t just afford one, but now that you’ve reach the future you’ve committed to, you could buy millions of it.

Despite that, you don’t. you have never bought a single one at all. It no longer had any merit to you anymore, it had no sentimental value for you.

The thought of sharing all your dreams and goals to someone hurts you, its like once you share a part of your world to them, suddenly they become a part of your world, they align both in you heart and when they leave suddenly the thoughts and goals you’ve shared to them leave too.

As you and Minji both reached the room, you felt some kind of force stop you for a moment and that didn’t go unnoticed by Minji.

“Hey,” she brushes your hands against hers “are you okay?”

that made you break free from the thoughts you could only nod back in response.

It looked unconvincing, but she didnt press further.

Minji opened the door, she went in first.

Her figure blocked the view of the room yet you could see two figures or even three.

But as every second that went it felt like time stopped and your whole world turned over.

you gradually went in the room became more clear in your view and her eyes came in view back to yours.

Suddenly it felt like the weight of the world fell back on your shoulders, the sight of her made your chest heavy and your throat grow a lump.

You didn’t know wether your mind was playing tricks with you—you wish it did but your manager proved you thoughts wrong.

“Yn, i want you to meet Ms. Pham and Ms. Marsh”

You thought maybe it was a lookalike, a different person with the same face of the girl you once loved, but her gaze and her small frown was too vivid in your mind.

All you could do was stand motionless as she stared back at you like a stranger—like no memories lingered between you.

“Yn?” Minji whispered.

You didn’t reply both your eyes and attention focused on hers.

“Yn, are you okay?” Minji repeated herself, now grasping your arms with warmth and that made you breathe again.

That didn’t go unnoticed by hanni as her eyes looked between your hand intertwined to Minji’s.

“I’m sorry,“ was the words you whisper against your breath.

“Just got a little starstruck at Ms. Marsh’s beauty,” you say the truth but also the lie, ms. Marsh is pretty, but she wasnt the reason that took away the air in your lungs, she wasnt the reason why your heart felt heavy.

The tension that once filled the room, turned into polite laughters.

But you could only give a tight lip smile, to masked the perpetual ache that enveloped your heart.

08.20.2023

Ever since that day, your past and presents were aligned and it brought so much chaos in your life.

Out all of the people in this world it had to be her that you had to collaborate with.

You were now alone in the studio as Minji and your manager went out to buy something while you stayed to focus on writing.

Few hours into your composition you heard the faint sound of the door open, you didn’t budge as you thought it was probably Minji who just arrived in the studio now.

Yet the sound of someone else’s voice contradicted that, but not just any voice, it was hers.

“Hey,” she says.

You didn’t reply, still focused on the paper you were so busy with.

“Can you hear me?” She tries to get your attention again.

“Why are you here?” Your back still facing hers.

“Am I in the wrong room?” She jokes, “I’m here for the composition for my artist collaborative song, of course.”

You felt your head boil at her remark, as you gripped tightly on your pen before getting the courage to face her.

But now, you wished you didn’t because as the moment you looked back at her, her eyes were solely on yours.

And it made your chest burn in a certain way, a way you couldn’t help but hate.

“Hey,” she says again, now more closer to you.

You couldn’t say anything back as the proximity of her body with yours took the voice out of your throat, and that was easy for hanni to read, of course it would be, she has loved you long enough to know how you act and, yet, you didn’t change at all.

“Are you okay, yn?” She pretends to be clueless.

“I’m fine.”

You, first break the stare, going back on your composition but the loud banging of your heart remained.

After that tension moment between you two, both of you just sat in silence before the others arrived. Yet, the sound of your heart banged loudly enough to cloud your thoughts.

08.31.2023

She knocked loudly on your door that night with a bottle of whiskey on her hand, her words gibberish as she tried to talk to you.

And maybe it was the liquid courage that had Hanni looking back at your orbs, making her realise all the time she spent without you was only missing you in days when her world turned all crazy and out of control.

Because, when her world was in the midst of chaos, you were her solace.

“I still love you.”

Words that felt dangerous to speak out loud, but when alcohol and a sense of longing collide together those words are like sounds that await to become music.

Hanni, knew she would regret it as she opens her eyes in a new morning, but what does she have to lose? She already had so many regrets in life, how does this one make any difference than the rest.

You.

You were her first and greatest regret. Ironic to call it great when all it’s been for hanni was pain and loss in her end.

09.01.2023

“Love, please” she whispers, as she looks at you with so much desperation and that angered you even more.

“You dont get to call me that hanni,” your hands formed a fist tightly enough to make your kunckles white.

“You left me remember?” you laughed and the sound of your laugh made Hanni’s heart ache, she used to adore the sound of your laughter but now it only made her feel small and pitiful.

“You choose to leave me, but i cant blame you for that you had your own dreams and goals its your life and im merely someone you loved.”

“I still love you,” she mumbled enough for you to hear but you ignored it.

“But its not the reason why i hate you. I hate you because you were just like the others you told me my dreams were uncertain and unrealistic you told me that i cant reach my future, you left me because you lost faith in me and that hurt me because i thought you were different.”

“Or maybe i was just someone who thought they finally found their home, someone they could always be safe around, someone they could count on when times got rough. The person who saw something in you that nobody else could. The person that cared for you more than you could possibly imagine.”

You couldn’t hold it back anymore the past that you bottled the past 3 years couldn’t hold stay inside anymore.

“Yn—“ she tries to hold onto you but you only took a step away from her.

“Han, cant you see I’m tired?”

Hanni felt her heart beat louder when she heard you say her nickname again, she missed it so much— too much that she felt her tears fall.

She wanted nothing but to hear that name again but not in this way. Not in the way she expected it.

“Yn I’m sorry,” it was the only words that fall off her lips.

“Isn’t it a little too late for that han?”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

There was a thickening silence as you gaze at her small figure, you took a glance at her trembling hands.

Whenever she was nervous or sad she’d always have shaky hands and you always used to hold it back with yours to make it stop.

If it were different you would have held it by now, you would have hugged her, you would have kissed her by now.

“I’m sorry of the last three years of pain I caused you. I never wanted that.”

“I’m sorry that of all the people it had to be you, the person who only ever wanted was to love me. I’m sorry that i was the reason that you lost your sense of self worth, I’m sorry if you felt like loving you was hard, because truth be told, you were the best thing i loved and i still love until now.”

You could only look her in the eye with so much pain, it was the words your old self would have wanted to hear, you wished to hear.

But hearing them now felt empty, to you, it went in one ear and out the other

“Han, leave,” you whispered, “please leave.”

You avoided her gaze afraid that if you did, you’ll come back crawling to her and you couldn’t bear to afford that pain again.

After a moment, you slowly opened your eyes to find that she was no longer standing there — she left.

It would have been a lie if you said you didn't have at least a piece of her still in your heart, but even if she did you couldn't bear to love her anymore, not again.

But even then the room you both once shared—you didn't touch it at all or even clean the dust that as built throughout the years that has passed when she left you.

Because you still hoped through the years she would come back, and she did. But its too late.

You walked in the room that once lingered with so much memories and with each step you took it became heavier.

You brushed off the dust that covered the wooden chair in the room.

You didn't know why you went in here when it was the very same place she left you all the arguments and constant fights in this room.

You glanced around with a heavy heart, but something attracted your eye: a box half-hidden beneath the wooden bed.

You knelt as you lifted the fairly large box out of the bed.

The box seemed so familiar, then it dawned on you, it was Hanni's memory box, she must’ve left it before she left off for university. before everything.

You were hesitant to open it but with enough courage you did it.

And as your eyes gazed inside, all your pictures were together, from the first time you called it official, from your first gig in a bar and every anniversary you had.

You felt yourself reminisce with a pang of pain against your chest.

One thing drew your attention: it was a coffee stained piece of paper folded yet crumpled like it was meant to be hidden.

You gently opened it afraid it might break at any moment.

But as you read the first line you could feel yourself get lost in the pain again.

“Dear, Yn.

I know we argue almost everyday now and i know you’re getting tired of it. I am too.

I know you’re sick of everyone that as been putting you down from what you love the most, i know it has been frustrating you.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not being the best girlfriend to you lately—i try to be but i’m going through my own hardships myself and i dont want my feelings to burst on you.

I know I’ve said so many hurtful words to you that i didn’t mean. I know you think i hate you at the moment and i know you don’t feel my love at this time.

But, I want you to know that despite our disagreements, my love for you remains unwavering and unconditional.

i know that lately, I've been falling short of the person i promised i'd become, the person you deserve.

Yn i see how much you're struggling, how much you're hurting, and it crushes me.

but i cant do anything because the truth is i don't know how anymore.

Yn, don't give up on us. don't let go.

I swear from now on, love. I promise to be more patient, understanding. I will strive to listen to your dreams and aspirations with an open heart, knowing that they are an integral part of who you are.

Please remember, that I am here for you, and I will always be your biggest supporter.

I want you to know. I need you to know, that you're always going to be the greatest love of my life.

I love you more than my life.

whatever happens in the future, I hope you reach the future you’ve always wanted, regardless of your challenges.

I know you're not the kind to give up just yet, and that's what makes me love you endlessly and tirelessly; don't ever allow anyone, even me, to stop you from doing what you genuinely love.

I love you so much.

Yours forever,

Han.”

You felt the tears that once masked your face fall onto the crumpled paper grasped within your quivering hands.

Suddenly it felt harder to breathe as you read the letter over and over again, it just didnt feel right.

You crouched down with all your effort, holding onto a vinyl that had become dusty after being there for so long.

It was your favorite song.

She got you the record you'd always wanted as an apology.

Your legs eventually gave into the trembling and you fell to the floor, your exhausted sobbing echoing the empty room that was once filled with so much memories.

Your mind became inundated with numerous thoughts, and the pain you experienced was more intense than the day she broke your heart.

It was ironic. So ironic that she was the one to let go first.

The tears that ran down your face didn't stop, they couldn't, and you had no control over them as your breath was stolen away from you.

You would have been okay that day, everything would have been still alright but you know too well it wouldn’t because dreams reach farther than love could.

And the love you once knew could never be worth so much.

#newjeans fanfic #newjeans #newjeans imagines #newjeans x reader #kpop idol x reader #idol x reader #hanni pham x reader

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