#social interactions

[marisashorror]

People get jealous or upset about the weirdest things. Things I haven't even gotten around to thinking about. Things I didn't even know you COULD be upset about. Where are they finding the time and energy to brood on it? Am I missing something?

(This is unrelated to social media, just irl people baffling me, as per usual)

#social interactions #peoples emotions hitting #from left field #its always a surprise #someones always mad about something

[grison-in-space]

You know, we tend to think about play centered around the boundaries and interactions of power dynamics as a kink thing, but I think that's a bit short-sighted. Perhaps it's that I have mostly taught adults—which imposes a distinct but limited power dynamic on the working relationship—but I find I use play constantly to help frustrated or shy students relax, especially when relaxing about the possibility that I am particularly upset, impatient, or judgemental about their temporary struggle. Lots of smiling, careful observation of body language—if they stiffen further they're not necessarily parsing that it's play and I need to change tactics. I often make an explicit statement like "oh no, the horror, you're learning," smile as warmly as I can project, validate the frustration and point to any clear progress I see, and then ask questions about the place where they're struggling.

Trying to use cuts more to spare dashes, but the more I think about it, the more I keep coming up with examples of boundary/hierarchy play in cases of strong working relationships between established dynamics. It's not something I only engage in from top down, either: I also offer play gestures around boundaries to people who are supervising me, if and only if I otherwise like and trust them enough to do so.

Often students will engage in mock boundary pushing at "boundaries" that they have observed that I don't give a shit about, like the time one of my students was asked to explain why his DNA signature was "found" on a broken pipette in genetics class (implied: he was being charged with breaking it as part of an exercise in interpreting DNA fingerprinting data) and he submitted a two page legal brief with fully referenced case law mock accusing the class of stealing his genetic material without a warrant. (I was delighted. I often think fondly of that student, who had been enlisted military and clearly enjoyed play mocking the "brass," but was also absolutely respectful and engaged when it actually mattered.)

I see that with my dogs, too. For example, yesterday I observed Tribble catch my eye, start briefly digging in the garden—a behavior I pointedly discourage and have for most of her life—wiggle, and then take off to race around the yard while I stomped after her and pretended to be mad until she bounced up to the door and requested to come inside. (She was almost certainly getting cold.)

It's always risky to make inferences about animal signals and especially intentionality without good falsifiable hypotheses about what is being intentionally conveyed and unpacked, so just to be specific: she wiggled using very loose body language of the kind that we usually use when playing as we made eye contact, dug until I made an exaggerated outrage face and took a step towards her, and sprinted away to zoom around the yard in a way that a nearly thirteen year old dog generally does not do unless she has a strong, motivated point to make. I was also using exaggerated play versions of outrage: mock stomping my feet with big steps with no stiffness, waving my head from side to side in a gesture I make when playing with animals, a very offended high pitched "oh!" noise I don't make when I'm actually annoyed. Play around mock offense over a mock transgressed boundary, taking delight in each other's attention.

And I mean, she and I have known each other for almost twelve years. This is the dog I accidentally trained using only my idiosyncratic body language for cues; she never bothered to listen for vocal cues until Tay tried to ask her for things with slightly different hand signals and she was bewildered. We're both pretty good at reading each other at this point.

I just think there is a strong tendency to carve out hierarchy and boundaries as Very Serious Business all the time, especially when we are thinking about ethical power dynamics. But it's not always, not even close: ethical play across boundaries should be consensual and bidirectional (even if the social hierarchy isn't entirely consensual, as with parent/child or dog/handler relationships), and if it's not it should cease. We've all seen the mortification of bosses who attempt play with subordinates who are Not Enjoying Themselves, right? You've all seen The Office?

I'm just enjoying thinking about boundaries and hierarchies in this way this morning. We (by virtue of the fact that you're interacting with me on the Anglophone Internet, anyway) live in a culture that finds hierarchy and explicitly acknowledged power dynamics really distasteful and uncomfortable, but those dynamics are still real and they absolutely exist. As someone who has some distinct scars from people who had power over me but wanted to pretend that we were peers when that was convenient, I think there's something valuable about acknowledging how much play can be held in a healthy, solid nonsexual relationship that still has power dynamics and firm boundaries.

#boundaries #hierarchies #play #relationships #social interactions

[the-healing-mindset]

"I don't want to, so I'm not going to" is sometimes the boundary that we must draw with those who try to get us to do things that we know we dislike or that are unhealthy for us. It's also the boundary that we must draw with those who try to manipulate and control our lives. It is perfectly valid and needs no further justification. Honor and respect your wants, needs, and personal well-being.

#boundaries #healthy boundaries #self-worth #healing #growth #wants #needs #well-being #personal sovereignty #social interactions #gentle reminder #reminder #empowerment #self empowerement #mine

[selectivechaos]

being ‘normal enough’

i feel like, after extreme social isolation, it often feels like i need to catch up with others and meet their standards and be normal enough for them in interaction.

but actually, i think if you’ve been hurt and scared by social and emotional traumas in the past, your priority should always be: is this person meeting my standards?

are they being kind and making me feel unjudged, calm, safe, happy?

🌹🌹

#social anxiety disorder #evil self care #be gentle with yourself #social anxitey #social interactions #setting boundaries #emotional trauma #social anxiety tag #social withdrawal

[liskantope]

When I'm asked (in the context of dating and matchmaking in a conversation between relatively open people) whether I "have a type" and, if so, what my type is, the honest answer is "yes" and that I could give a rough description of my type and part of me would probably get some kind of enjoyment from discussing it with friendly acquaintances. But instead I always clam up, because somehow no matter what aspect of physical attractiveness I discuss -- ethnicity, body type, or something else -- I feel like there will always be socially uncouth implications. I mean, how do people ever really feel comfortable answering that question?

#dating and relationships #social interactions

[necrocities]

Since asks/dms aren't open, message for @entropy-sea-system below.

Still feel weird about making a post post, so I'll put this under a cut

Re: tags on this post and college

I don't know how much it'll mean, but specifically about how the medical field and doctors can be seen.

I want to say how valuable it can be to see other disabled people in this field. You don't have to be a shining star in a corrupt field to mean something to patients. It's valuable in itself to see someone who may understand or at least be less harsh on us due to mutual chronic struggles.

So, with this being a largely stressful factor, I hope I can ease that a bit. Other docs and their corruption, or the corruption of the medical system, don't make you automatically lesser for going into it. Even if vague people across the internet would be judgemental, they're not the ones coming into your office.

And if they do, they're asking for help regardless. So they'll have to swallow their indignity a bit.

I think I'm seeing that being an aspect of this stressor. The difference of online vs offline interactions. It's something that gets me as well. And hey. Shitty people are out there, but in such smaller quantities. Your average patient is there for help, and I swear it'll be ok.

I spent a lot of time in various medical facilities growing up, not just hospitals, and some people just won't click with their physician. But they don't go home with you at night. So they'll move on if the interaction isn't ideal. But those who do come to you again and again, they're looking for insight, to be taken seriously, and a shoulder to lean on. That line of professionalism helps on that end, I think.

It's normal for patients to find docs who keep a straight face, those who are expressive, and so many different mannerisms, but they understand at the end of the day that professionalism is a layer that demands respect.

Not in an authoritarian way either. But to know, they'll have to be respectful and work with you, not against you, to have an easier time sorting out medical issues.

Ah, ended up writing quite a bit. But I knew I had plenty to say, so I hope the words mean something.

#hareraiser #entropy-sea-system #medical #social interactions #life decisions

[rainyyz]

Very nervous 😳. I just got my first important project to do which will be paid 😳😳😳😳😳😳.

I am so insecure. I hope I do well. I don't know how will I sleep good this week 😭. Omg 😳. To be honest I didn't want to do this, but a family member really wanted me to help. And she works in a company. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 Omg

My social anxiety is telling me that I will fail. I don't want to disappoint people. Oh god I hope I receive the money from my family member and not a stranger from her company. To be honest receiving money and having money in general makes me feel so guilty. I always feel I don't deserve it. I don't want money, I just want to do very good.

Omggg 😳😳😳

#social anxiety #social interactions #social anxious #social problems #tw depressing thoughts #tw depression #depressing post #depressing stuff #tw depressing stuff #kinda depressing #anxious #anxiety disorders

[bethelctpride]

A video explaining the accessibility badging system we use for our large events. We have trilingual signage to go with the badges. The later half of the video is on general accessibility for events and what we think about when we're setting up the space.

Here's the basics of the badges. You get all three colors and can switch between them during the event. This system is modified from a system from the Autistic Self Advocacy Network.

#lgbt pride #accessibility #autism #neurodiversity #social interactions

[savenshomecareservices]

Exploring home care can be overwhelming, especially when there are numerous options for home care services in Methuen, Massachusetts, to choose from. This guide breaks down the types of services agencies offer, helping you make informed decisions for your loved one.

#Emotional Support #Personal Care #Social Interactions

[mirabilefuturum]

@hungry-hobbits I love this

#own #not really #Tumblr #social interactions

[sluttyquarantinetheory]

I don't know what people expect of me but it's apparently nothing I actually do because they're always like "I didn't expect that from you."

Todays episode was my coworker telling me he never would've guessed I was a trekkie.

#star trek #social interactions #what do people think i'm about?

[the-healing-mindset]

If you define your worthiness of love by the worthiness that others see, you will always find a flaw within yourself, when the simple truth might be you're looking for your worth in the wrong place.

Najwa Zebian

#self-help #self-worth #self-esteem #self-love #self-improvement #quotes #Najwa Zebian #life #living #worth #social interactions #social media #love #growth #healing #recovery #reminder #gentle reminder #value #values #principles #feelings #emotions #flaws

[hecho-a-mano]

shocking: social media users making sweeping statements about all of humanity are surprised when an unintended audience make comments about said statements.

#social media #twitter #tumblr #communication #rant #humanity #social interactions #text

[mysticdragon3md3]

Today i learned...

#social interactions #relationship dynamics #til #i am female but without friends so i had no idea this was the norm lol

[nevertrulyset]

I hate receiving unsought advice. I don't need to be told how to be more desirable. I don't need to be told what color to wear or how far to roll my sleeves or how long the hair on my face should be. I hate the assumption that I'm "on the prowl" or trying to attract someone. I hate the assumption that what one person wants in life is what all people want in life.

#get me off of this planet #personal journey #social interactions #psychoanalytical assholes #i don't have time or energy or patience for mind games

[daisys-reality]

Hey thereee! 💗😭✨ Not a loa related question but I want your help babe..:)Actually there's someone ( a close one ) who's constantly trying to convince me to go somewhere to be specific it's a school trip , I don't want to go so how do I say make him understand or how do I politely/lovingly say NO ? I'm asking u so u can give me 3-4 nice sentences I can to say to them ( Reason- I just don't want to go ,j don't feel like going )because my english is no that good but I wanna talk in English like advanced English like y'all speak 😭uk that urge! 😶

Oh ok well, let's see... (just so you know) I'm also not a native English speaker, I also make mistakes from time to time! I'm not so good at social interactions too but I will try my best to help you😅 I personally learned that the ideal way to express something negative to someone is to wrap it into positive things -> (1) saying something positive - (2) then the negative thing - (3) something positive again.

(1) I don't know the exact circumstances but before declining someone's offer or invitation, it's best to start with your "thank yous" to show that you're grateful!

For example, you could start with "Thank you so much for inviting me..." or "I really appreciate it that you want me to be there (the location)/that you want me to go with you..."

(2) After saying your "thank yous", you politely say that you can't/won't go and mention your reasons.

For example, you could start with an expression like "Unfortunately,..." or "I'm afraid, ...". Then, you say something like "I can't go/I'm not able to go/I won't be able to come/I don't feel like going..." and tell them your reasons afterwards "because ....".

Regarding reasons, I can only give you vague examples as I don't know your exact situation but you could say something like "I don't think I will feel so comfortable there/I'm not really in the mood to do XYZ/I would prefer to work on XYZ (something else like idk a project or homework you have to do)...". You could also use something specific about the event/school trip which you don't like as an excuse or something about the people going there. Another idea would be to use something about your personal circumstances (family matters etc.) as an excuse.

-> But of course, you can also use expressions like "To be honest,..." and openly tell them how you feel. I guess it depends on how much you trust this person and how open you can be with them. If you really wanna go into people-pleasing mode, you can mention at the end something like "I hope it doesn't bother you too much" or "I'm really sorry, I hope it doesn't hurt feelings :( ".

(3) Afterwards, you could show your appreciation/gratitude once again (shortly) and possibly make an offer to them in exchange.

For example, you could say "Again, I really appreciate it. Maybe, we could do something else..." (-> suggest another activity you could do together instead with them if they really just want to spend time with you). Or if you know that there will be another school trip you could say "I would be happy if we would go together next time." or "I promise we can go together next time" or something like that. It depends on what kind of connection you have with them (friendship, a romantic connection, a more familiar connection...) and on what their intentions are with you.

-> To be honest, if you feel like they're putting too much pressure on you to the point you feel uncomfortable, I think you should mention that, ex. "I know you only mean well but it feels like you're pressuring me to go even though I don't feel like going. It honestly hurts my feelings, I wish you could be more understanding". Like that, you could ask for their understanding you know.... or you could tell them that you're the type to prefer things slower or that you just need more time to warm up to things/ideas.

Again, I don't have enough information to judge your situation correctly but I hope my answer helps you somehow. I wish you good luck, anon!! 🤧🔥🍀

#t.asks #advice #social interactions